#it’s been getting a lot worse again and i constantly have to eat and i think it’s enough now i can’t do this anymore i need someone to tell | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

baynetta · 10 months

Note

riding miguel would literally be a sport omg the way he’d have to lift you up off his lap because your body is too exhausted

riding miguel! (nsfw)

they should considere it to put it up to a olympic sport atp cause it’s something that just takes a lot of time and work. i definitely feel they’re some days that he would come home and he’ll be more than pleased to give you a hand. but not today. he’ll come so tired of all the late work that he had to indure. you didn’t know how much he crave for it, to have you all by himself. and why not to try something new, now that you had some practice before why not ride him all by yourself. this time, no guidance and definitely not help. at first you’ll be a little bit intimidate by it, having him staring at you, full in display, on your own bed, him observing every minute detail of your performance. it felt like your first time all over again (who btw was with miguel ofc🤭). he’ll grab you by the wrist to get close to his throbbing cock, he’s been painfully hard the whole day, thrilled just for this moment, so he’s now very impatient. “c’mon just sit on it baby” “don’t be acting like a prude right now”-. he muttered as you start to accommodate his tip already glassed in pre-cum on your entrance, you had it grabbed by his base giving it slow strokes, as your going in you feel how it slowly rasps making his way into your cavities, you yelp at the feeling, mostly bcs you didn’t had any prep. he usually will take his time before fucking you, he’ll eat you out and stick his fingers on your tight cunt till it’s fully mixed with both of y’all juices before he can burried his length into you. but not today. he wanted to feel how you strech yourself with his hardness, how good it i’ll start to dilatate and contract while his tip reach for the cervix.

as you were making it fit, you were whimper and sobbing mess and miguel could feel how tensed you were, how he was ripping his way up. “honey. escúpele” he demanded as you’re half way in. you spit on the palm of your hand and start glazing and rubbing his shaft with the mix of your sticky saliva and arousal. you watched miguel throw his head back off, shutting his eyes. fuck he’s been fantasizing about it for so long. and mind you, you haven’t reached to the base yet. abruptly you feel miguel’s hand groping your mushy hips and dragging you all the way down. it felt so violent the way you took him in one sitting, that you cry loudly at being now fulled by him. “fuck that’s it” he spit, you cry as you clench tightly on him, and fuck he’s having way too much fun, “ahora de nuevo”—he hissed while looking proudly at how well your taking him, such a good girl. you go all the way up again, with one hand on his base trying to keep the control of it, and drop slowly until your inner thighs are crashing with his pelvis, fuck it stings badly, you feel how hard his cock is stretching your walls as well your thighs are starting to cramp and burn as it’s holds your entire body weight. you tried to support your hands on miguels defined abs but he just slapped them away, “don’t fucking try it, put em behind”—you wanted to protest be he’s already giving you that “say it o you’ll regret it” look. you put them behind as you start going up again, and get down giving little semi circular movements, hissing as it starts to hit the right spot. “fuck.. que apretadita estás”- you cry as he’s hitting it, over and over again, your legs burning, the way your hips are loosing the tempo making all the movements messy and desperate for a guidence.

the room has been a mixing sounds of grunts, whimpers and sobbing messes, the filthy noises of the headboard slamming and the loud sounds of skin slapping as your crushing down hard and squirming all over him. miguel throwing his head back groaning and mutting the dirtiest praises “fuckk..such. a dirty. slut” “stop crying or i’ll be worse”. he’ll constantly switch his grip between your hips or your bouncing tits, he’ll twisted and squeez it. he fucking enjoying it watching your tired body starting to collapse. your pretty eyes closed, trying to endure all the pain and pleasure coming from all the parts that his hands and cock are abusing. the minutes you been on and on it’s almost miracle that you didn’t faint, as he sees you getting all flustered and sweaty he’ll grab you by the face, “don’t. fucking. stop”—.you can feel now his thumb digging dip in your jaw, making you gasp. you feel your full body start trembling, you try to inhale and exhale but your lower back and thighs went on shock. the exhaustion in your face as you implored and begged for miguel's help. until you just can't help it anymore and drop your weakened body on top of him. miguel inmidiatly will embrace you in warm and intimate hug, lift you up off his lap, stand up while he’s still inside you. he'll leave a trace of kisses from your collarbone up to your face whispering how good you were and now he's gonna take care of you.

pd: the stamina of this guy GOD he’s probably goes on an on all night 🤭

trad:

-spit on it

-now again

-you’re so tight

#.𖥔 ݁ ˖eyza’s mail #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #spiderman 2099 #miguel o’hara x you #spiderverse

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sooniebby · 7 months

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hey I just recently found your blog while scrolling through tags and I’m so in love with all your ocs (especially Yubin and mind reader’s guy) I love reading your works :) sometimes I even reread them cause they’re just so *chefs kiss*

So far, I’m really looking forward to the mind reader since there’s so much tension and it’s just such a neat idea. Just imagine if the two got paired up for a group/partner project 👀 the poor guy is going to lose his mind while the mind reader gets front row tickets to it

(not necessarily a request but you’re free to write about it if you want to!! I just wanted to mention the idea since I’ve been thinking about it a lot ever since I read about the two)

Aw thanks so much! Glad you like them, your idea is really good, I had to use it! As usual, bottom male reader. Based on this post.. added more characterization

Xavier Young.. that was the name of the pervert plaguing your thoughts. Just like right now, while you desperately tried to pay attention to the girl in front of you—talking about what part you’ll have for the group project..

But there’s just this nagging sound filling your head. Xavier.. thinking about fucking you.. again.

It was even worse this time. At the table, he sat directly across from you, practically staring you down.

‘Ah… he’s so cute. Wish he’d look at me instead of her..’

You made sure to never glance his way.

‘He was blessed with such pouty lips… shit, I wanna bite them’

You pursed your lips heavily so it was just a thin line.

‘I’ve never seen him in a short sleeved shirt.. or shorts for that matter.. shit, why’s that hotter than him just showing himself off?’

You contemplated taking off your jacket but decided you just weren’t comfortable enough to do that. Oh well, you’d just let him have that perverse thought.

“So… (Name) and Xavier can take the pictures...”

“Excuse me?”

And here you were, forced to walk around the university taking pictures with just Xavier. Standing beside him, he was tall.. he practically dwarfed you. Briefly, you thought about seeing just how much size he had compared to you.

And it seemed Xavier was thinking the same thing.. although obviously, dirtier. Much to your dismay, his thoughts were filled with fucking you in the library (gross!).

“You’re so small… this bump in your belly is from me, yeah?” His inner self said, tracing his.. much larger hand across your stomach, lightly pressing down on the obvious bump from his cock.

You wanted to kill yourself. And the fact that you.. kinda.. sorta.. wanted to know if that would actually happen if he were to fuck you.. hey, it’s just curiosity!

You tried to push his perverse thoughts away and filled your head with your own thoughts.. though they kept going back to wondering if.. everything about him was big.

Though in your head, you knew he probably just liked you for sex. Nothing more. All of his thoughts on you have been about sex—you felt a little disappointed at that but brushed it off. At least someone thought you were sexy.

You bent down for a moment to take a picture of a group of squirrels when you heard the sound of the camera going off. You looked up and Xavier was looking away with a sheepish grin on his lips.

Did he.. take a picture of you? You shook your head. No way… you pushed the thoughts away and continued taking any picture that you could from the constantly moving animals when out of the corner of your eyes, you saw Xavier take a few pictures of you before turning around to take pictures of the nearby lake.

Holy shit.. he did! You moved a bit closer, wanting to see what he was thinking when he took those photos. But he wasn’t thinking. He was totally blank. It took a moment before he thought about anything.

‘I’m so fucking hungry… hope (Name) won’t mind if we take a break..’

Sure enough, Xavier asked if you guys could get something to eat. Soon you found yourself sitting across from him as he ate his cafeteria pizza

It looked fucking disgusting.

‘This is nasty… but I’m so hungry.’

You couldn’t help your snicker from his thoughts. Xavier looked up at you and raised an eyebrow, wondering what was so funny about him eating pizza.

It was mainly silent for the rest of time. You listened randomly to other people’s thoughts as Xavier’s seemed to just be about how nasty his pizza was.

“You dating anyone?”

“Huh?”

You look over at Xavier as he wipes his mouth clean with the back of his hand.

“Dating?”

“Uh… no. Why?”

Xavier only grinned and looked at camera, checking his photos that he took. That was the end of it but you could hear his thoughts.

‘Hm, he’s cute but I could’ve taken better ones.. ah, can’t wait to take nudes photos of him.’

You choked for a second, coughing heavily in shock. Xavier handed you his water and lightly patted your back.

‘Damn. He coughs a lot… would he cough like that if he deep throats my cock..?’

Well, his dirty thoughts were back. But you still really wondered, why the hell did he like you?

Your head was suddenly being filled with Xavier’s thoughts again. Mainly sex, of course. He seemed to really love sex in semi public areas.

In a weird idea, you listened to his fantasy closer, wanting to see how far he would go.

And.. it’s pretty far. Spanking seemed to be a favorite, judging by how he kept dreaming about spanking your ass. His hand wrapped around your throat, squeezing it lightly to earn your little whimpers.

But, something new was a dream in what you could only assume was his bedroom. He was doing something on his computer, playing a game maybe. But you were there on his lap but not in a normal way. You were sitting on one of his legs, his muscular leg, mind you.

You were rutting your clothed cock on it, maybe chasing your own release by how loud your whines were. But he wasn’t paying you any mind. He was just playing his game. A few times, he’d look at you and look as if he’d touch your aching cock but then just go back to his game.

It was like you were using him but even then he was in control.

And you liked that. Even though it was just a dream, you felt your real cock twitch in your jeans. Fuck, another boner.

“Liked it?” Xavier suddenly asked.

You looked up at him in shock, noticing just how close he was to you now. You parted your lips to ask what the hell he was talking about when he shamelessly pressed his hand against your growing boner, earning a gasp from you.

You couldn’t even control yourself as you bit your lip tightly to muffle your moans. Xavier’s hand so easily engulfed your cock, teasing it slowly. It was like he was trying to wake it up even more.. and you could only think about someone accidentally seeing this and the fact you wanted him to continue.

He leaned down and pressed his lips close your ears, to make sure only you heard what he had to say.

“I said… did you like it? It was really hard to think of a dream you’d like.. but I’m glad you like me being in control. It’s certainly my favorite.”

Mother fucker… he… he knows you could read his mind?!

Just who the fuck was this guy?

Heheh~ how was that? I wasn’t sure if i should go through with it but i think i like this turn of events. Sorry if this wasn’t as smut heavy, don’t worry, the next part will be 🤭

Tag list: @the-ultimate-librarian @mello-life69 @chill-guy-but-cooler @nakedtoasterr @kiiyoooo @ofclyde @smellwell @millecka @bowieisbored @iwishtobeacrow

(Ask to added to my tag list for all posts or just for part 3 of mind reader!)

#bottom male reader #uke male reader #sub male reader #oc x reader #smut drabble #mlm ns/fw

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bonny-kookoo · 8 months

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Poor sweet tooth mc she just wants to be loved but is scared of getting hurt. Speaking of could you do a Drabble where she actually gets hurt but Yoongi and maybe even Jimin just think she’s being dramatic

Yall always want angst so there you go

"Its just a bruise baby, you're not gonna die." Jimin chuckles. You know that- you're not stupid. But you also know that it feels a lot worse than a bruise- and that Jimin isn't taking you seriously, probably because Yoongi isn't, either.

"I know you don't like going outside too much but you're being a little unreasonable now." Yoongi later sighs, crossing his arms- though he leaves you be in the living room, sitting outside in the backyard garden with Jimin to eat dinner, while you stay firmly planted on the couch, not eating anything.

It's only when Jungkook comes home that you finally feel like someone actually tries to find out what the problem really is.

You've had a little accident two days earlier- a misstep on the stairs in Yoongis house, making you miss two steps from them, leading you to harshly somewhat catch yourself on the way down. You didn't really fall- but you definitely landed weirdly on your leg, and in your humble opinion, didn't actually hit anything to cause a bruise.

So why is it bruising now? Why does it hurt so much?

Jungkook inspects your leg now on his day off, carefully assessing the damage visible before he lets you explain your symptoms and what led to it in the first place. He'd noticed you visibly limping oddly towards and from the breakfast table, worrying him a little.

"Is she still whining about the bruise?" Yoongi mumbles as he sits down on the couch a little further away from you both, and Jungkook sighs a bit to himself as he leans away to sit upright.

"Yoongi, I don't think it's just a bruise. Can you text Jimin and ask him to go see a doctor later?" He suggests, and Yoongi furrows his brows as Jimin walks in.

"She just tripped, she's always been a bit huffy when-" He starts to reason, but this time Yoongi actually shakes his head at him, before he looks at his hybrid again to urge him for more details.

"I think you might've torn a muscle." Jungkook tells you, softly running a hand over your leg. "From what you said it surely sounds and looks like it. Might wanna have someone take a proper look at it." Jungkook offers, and now, Yoongi feels some guilt creep up his throat.

He trusts Jungkook in stuff like this- after all, he rehabilitates hybrids and humans with exactly such injuries constantly, so he's got an eye for it.

"Oh- y-yeah, let's go right now then-" jimin stammers, looking anxious now, as Yoongi gets up with a hand on his shoulder.

"I'll drive." He offers quietly. "You go over and get her stuff." He instructs, and Jimin does as he says, visibly upset now while you look at Jungkook.

"Are they gonna cut my leg off?" You worry at the dog hybrid, who laughs, shaking his head before he pets one of your ears in reassurance.

"Absolutely not, silly cat." He laughs, and you're glad that at least he provides some comfort and security.

"...will you stay with me?" You ask, revealing to him that you're actually terrified of hospitals and doctors without saying so, and he nods, smiling warmly.

"For as long as you want me to." He says, and at that, your eyes begin to sparkle with something he's not sure he interprets correctly.

Because that glimmer in your eyes..

It looks suspiciously like love.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #hybrid imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #yoongi imagine #jeon jungkook imagine #jimin imagine

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angel-of-the-moons · 7 months

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hi!! i’ve recently been struggling with my eating disorder, and i was wondering if you could do a hobie x gf!reader where reader is having a really hard time eating and he comforts her and helps her eat? lots of physical touch and words of affirmation if possible - and if this req is uncomfy i get it !!

Awww hon I hope this helps you feel a bit better!

Let Them Eat Cake (Or Something)

Soft!Hobie x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: Eating Disorders/Anorexia, hints of depression, bullying, some mental trauma, back at it again with the fluffy bullshit (Hobie also makes an inappropriate promise but nothing is detailed lol)

A/N: I myself struggle with eating disorders brought on by financial strains and mental issues (still do) so I totally understand this kinda thing!

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

It was the little things Hobie did to take care of you that most people probably couldn't imagine someone of his niche to do.

Things like peeling off the nutrition labels to things you'd buy at the grocery store so you couldn't stress over the calories (or lack thereof), buying those meal replacer shakes for you to try when you didn't want to eat; hovering over (respectfully) when you prepared your meals, saying little things to encourage you to fill your plate more.

"Ay, you should try this. Saw it online and heard it tastes pretty good with that, yeah?"

"Jus' a bit more, I can still see some on ya plate there. Almost done and it's less stuff wasted, right?"

He would even call or text you to eat one of the little snack baggies he'd prepped you full of healthy snacks. Even if it wasn't a full meal, helping you eat throughout the day brought him peace of mind so he wouldn't worry about you wasting away.

He'd read up on eating disorders and didn't like it one bit, so he devoted half his time with you around meals more focusing on you, even while he scarfed down his own portions.

Hobie had an insane metabolism, it was like he was constantly eating something in some way or another to keep himself going, and at some point you'd joked he had a black hole for a gullet.

But still, he would watch you out of the corner of his eye, taking your little mouse nibbles here and there, sipping your drink...

He knew that bringing it up front would only upset you, so he'd do little things to distract you from your thoughts of your food. He'd play little games with you. Like 20 questions. If you got one wrong, you'd have to eat another bite of your food. It would continue like that until your food was gone and you didn't realize it.

A punk with a heart of gold, Hobie Brown was. Though he'd never admit it out loud, even the members of his band would snort and laugh at how soft he was with you; though they understood completely why.

Today, you and Hobie went out for lunch, and you two attracted more than a few curious glances at your contrast in styles when you sat down to order. People just loved to stare, didn't they?

You idly played with your chips, pushing them around on your plate, your chicken sandwich sitting with just a few bites taken out of it.

"Ay, luv. Eyes bigger than your stomach, again?" Hobie asked, sipping his pop.

"Yeah... I just didn't think there'd be so much of it. I just..." You sigh, feeling defeated.

You'd had this problem since you were barely a teenager, and it only got worse after time. At least you stopped making yourself vomit up all your food.

You remember how badly it went when your mother caught you doing that.

In truth, you only started starving because... well. In school you were always insulted by the "prettier" girls. You'd always assumed you were pretty too, that's what your parents and relatives would always say. But being in the face of a gaggle of obnoxiously made-up girls rag on you in the lavatory, in gym class, or lunch... the pressure to be "thin" was hammered into you. If you looked like them, they would leave you alone.

And from there it went. You'd tried dating before, but none of your partners ever took care of you. Hell, one of them practically encouraged it and showed you diet pills online. You broke it off pretty quick after that.

Hobie was honestly the first to not automatically suggest you get locked in a mental ward, or just force yourself to scarf portions that were too much for your shrunken stomach to handle. Hobie was gentle and sweet, understanding with you.

Like he was right now.

"Well we can box it up and you can toast it up for later, alright?" He suggested.

His own plate was empty and your still practically full one wasn't lost on him. But he knew that directly pointing at the elephant in the room would only upset you.

His boot nudged your foot under the table and he gave you a smile, his eyes lighting up.

"Yeah.... yeah I can do that." You smile back sheepishly, letting Hobie flag down the server so he could pay (his treat, after all) and get you a to-go box.

🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸🎸

Later that night, Hobie had reheated some leftovers from the night previous and toasted your chips and sandwich for you to finish off again; because ugh, nobody enjoyed soggy microwaved chicken and chips. And if they did they were a complete loon.

You sat snuggled up on the sofa, your food in your lap as Hobie's characteristically empty plate lay on the coffee table next to his propped up feet as the program droned on the television in front of you.

His hand rubbed your arm lazily up and down in a soothing motion as his eyes flicked down to your plate.

"You gon'a finish that, luv?" He hummed softly, kissing the top of your head.

"I..." You sighed down at the plate in your hands.

"'S all right." He mumbled into your hair. "But ya do worry me, baby. How about this... if you finish your food.... hm."

He looked at the ceiling and you could tell that he was faking thinking of something serious.

You knew it especially when he gave you a cocky smirk.

"If you finish your food, I'll do that thing you really like, for you, eh?"

"Hobie!" You snort, rolling your eyes at him.

"Oh? Not what you want, hm? How about..." He tapped his chin with his free hand, once again making a grand gesture of "deep" thought.

"Fine fine... how about we go to that li'le art museum you've been goin' on about?"

Your eyes light up and you look at him.

"Really?"

"Yep! Really. But only if you finish your food." He put a finger under your chin and kissed your nose.

"And eat breakfast tomorrow."

"Deal!"

Hobie smiled to himself as you tore into your food with motivation.

Being Spider-Man didn't always mean fighting the oppressive regime they were stuck with. It wasn't always about thwarting criminals in the streets.

Sometimes it was about coming home and making sure his girlfriend had enough to eat.

And that was plenty for him.

#answered #hobie brown x you #hobie brown x reader #atsv hobie #hobie spiderverse #hobie x reader

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theflowerrooms · 11 months

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dad spencer headcannons PLEASE

THIS IS SO CUTE I LOVED DOING THIS SO MUCH

Lowkey wanna write more dad!spencer

Spencer was always loving and caring, always doting on you. But since you’d gotten pregnant, he’s done nothing but take excellent care of you, doing everything in his power to make sure you’re not overexerting yourself, and making sure you’re comfortable and healthy.

Spencer started off having pre-parental panic for the first three months of your pregnancy. He read countless amounts of books on parenting and pregnancy, he knew everything from what you should eat to what what you should watch on tv in order to have the happiest, healthiest pregnancy.

Picking the name was a hassle, you would constantly blank, not thinking of a single name you liked, and Spencer would suggest names like Mildred, Earl, or something from a different language that, while it would have a beautiful meaning, you struggled to pronounce.

When you found out you were having a boy, you both eventually decided to name the baby after people you cared about, and when he was born, he was given the name Jason David Reid. It was beyond important to Spencer that you’d named him after Gideon.

Your birth wasn’t nearly as hard as your pregnancy, and all of it was worth it when your baby was cleaned up and in your arms.

It felt even more worth it when they placed him in Spencer’s, seeing a father hold his son for the first time. You’d seen Spencer cry, a few times. But you’d never seen him cry like this, tears of love and enchantment, tears for you, tears for your baby, and tears for your family.

Spencer was the only one in the room during your birth, at your request. It wasn’t until afterward that they let people in, and of course, the team who’d been waiting at the hospital for six hours crowded into the room, washing their hands at Spencer’s request.

You both cried again, watching your baby be passed around between these people that you loved like family. Penelope had been crying since a nurse informed her that your baby boy had been born healthy and happy. Jj cried the first time she saw him, Emily cried the second he was in her arms. Rossi sobbed when he heard his name for the first time.

Your first night home from the hospital was hard. The baby slept so good, he hardly cried, he was such a happy baby. But you and Spencer were so nervous. He’d read every book and website he could get his hands on, spoken to so many seasoned parents and paediatricians. But still you both were nervous.

That quickly faded, and you got used to having a new baby. You’d gotten used to waking up to change or feed him, gotten used to the weight of a baby in your arms.

He wasn’t a big baby, still very healthy and happy, just a little guy. And he already looked like Spencer, button nose and a full head of hair, just a shade darker than his father’s.

The baby went through a series of nicknames. Because Jason’s a lovely name, just not a baby name, and David felt worse. You went from calling him Jay, to JJ, which was confusing, to JD, which is what stuck. Baby JD, JD Reid.

JD was happy and content almost all the time, but what calmed him down fastest was the sound of Spencer’s voice. So Spencer would spend hours talking to JD, explaining the history of Hallows Eve, or telling him about different types of plants.

When JD was around 10 months, he said his first word which was bird. He loved birds, his mobile had handmade birds sewn by Penelope, his wallpaper had little blue birds just below the trim, He saw them a lot outside in the yard. Spencer cried the first time he said it, from how cute it was, from the fact that Gideon loved birds before he passed.

As JD grew, he proved himself to be very intelligent, which Spencer took great pride in. He was speaking full sentences before he turned two, he could identify many different types of dinosaurs, which became his new obsession after birds.

Spencer would read to him often, the first book being ‘Goodnight Moon’, the second being ‘The Narrative of John Smith.” JD was able to remember nearly all of the words to the books that Spencer would read to him, but he struggled to read and he was diagnosed with Dyslexia when he was almost 5.

Being a dad and husband is the most important thing to Spencer. He happily spends less time working and more time with JD and you.

Neither you nor Spencer had cried so much until you became parents, he’d cry over how cute you looked holding JD in your arms as he slept, he’d cry over how sweet JD’s voice was as he told him he loved him, He’d cry watching JD and Hank play pirates together. And he broke down in tears of love when JD ran to hug him when he got home, wearing a shirt that read “big brother”

#dad!spencer #dad!spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #headcannons #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid headcanon

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adonis-koo · 1 year

Text

sweet nothing • 5

(In which he is most definitely sick)

↳ Description: being a guest at the Jeon Estate after a mishap of being kidnapped and dragged into your brothers affairs isn’t all that bad. Truth be told it brings you a lot closer to the mobster and owner of the estate Jeon Jungkook himself.

His two rules are simple, don’t cause trouble and don’t give him a hard time. Somehow you manage to constantly do both in the most endearing way despite being pregnant and waddling around most of the time.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook/reader, ???/reader

↳ Genre: slice of life AU, mafia!AU, pregnancy, there’s like…a little bit of a plot but not a lot, future smut? maybe? it's very domestic!

Word Count: 2k

Previous | Next

Note: I'm back AGAIN, simply because I can't get enough of these two!!! they're my life line these days tbh! i know I said there wasn't a lot of plot to this BUT....theres definitely some plot if you squint

“Are you sick?”

Jungkook looked horrendous, it was evident he hadn’t showered yet, as his hair was somewhat oily, wild and unbrushed, his voice was raspy and the moment he greeted you good morning, it was evident he was congested.

“I don’t get sick.” Jungkook replied, but his voice alone gave away the discomfort he was feeling, he sat at the small table attempting to eat but after two bites and the pure agony of attempting to swallow, he gave up.

Your lips parted before closing once more, a sigh escaping you, “If only that were the case,” this had been your concern since he had come home late a few days ago, soaked to the bone and freezing cold.

Yesterday when he had taken you out you noticed he had been sniffling, but aside from that he sounded totally find, today he looks like he had been hit with a car.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, “I have three board meetings today, a stack of paper work in my office that needs to be signed and a deal tonight at the Red Light, I can’t afford to be sick.”

“Jungkook,” You chastised softly, “Do you even hear yourself? I don’t think anybody is gonna want to be around you when you sound like that. What are your symptoms?”

“I’m not-”

“Yes you are!” You spoke over him, your expression shifting into anger at his stubbornness, “whether you like it or not! You’re sick. Now tell me so I can figure out whether I need Jimin to call the doctor or not.”

Jungkook groaned as he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms in thought before he reluctantly spoke, “My throat feels like it’s on fire. Even speaking feels like I’m swallowing a dagger.”

“And I have a massive headache,” He ushered softly, eyes closing as he rubbed his head.

Your expression softened once more, “Why don’t you go lay down? I’ll call for Jimin to get the doctor and make sure you’re alright,”

“I am alright.” Jungkook replied, puffed up at your words, one glare however shut him up.

He tiredly blinked as he sunk into his seat, “I can’t just take the day off.”

“Then do what you can from bed.” You said with a frown, “But you’ll make others sick and yourself worse if you go out today.”

He said nothing got a long moment before he shook his head and got out of his chair, your eyes followed him across the room until he left, somewhat surprised at his lack of argument.

Yeonjun who had been digging through a folder off to the side briefly glanced up to the closed door and then to you, “That’s a first.”

“Pardon?” You asked.

He smiled, “Jungkook letting someone boss him around. It’s a rather nice change of pace.”

You scratched your cheek, uncertain of how to take the his words, your lack of reply only made Yeonjun continue though, “Y’know he used to..,” He cut himself off, as if realizing it wasn’t his place to meddle, “Sorry, I won’t bring it up. I’m sure neither of you want to dig up the past.”

The past…You gave a sad smile, picking at your food, “It’s alright, there’s nothing to dig up, Jungkook was a nice acquaintance back before I was pregnant, if you could even call him that. Nothing more…Yoongi is his partner, right?”

Yeonjun frowned, looking away warily before he eventually nodded, “You’ve met?”

You shook your head, “Only once, a long time ago, informally might I add.”

“Do you want me to ring for Jimin?” Yeonjun decided to change the subject, “That way you can finish eating?”

You nodded with a grateful smile, “Yes! That would be quite helpful.”

Jungkook looked downright annoyed as the doctor poked and prodded at him before he had finally come to a conclusion.

Turning to you as it was evident Jungkook was not in a good mood, “The good news is that it’s only a case of tonsillitis.”

You sighed in relief before you asked, “Is there bad news?”

“It’s a bacterial infection, so we’ll need to put him on antibiotics. Lots of rest and warm, soft foods will help, he should be better in a few days at most once the antibiotics are in his system.” The doctor gave a warm smile.

“Few days?” Jungkook’s brows pinched together in annoyance.

“I’ll be sure to keep him rested.” You cut over him with a smile, “Thank you Doctor Choi.”

“Of course Y/n, I will see you on Friday for your check up.” He gave a short bow before existing the room.

“I can’t be in bed for a few days!” Jungkook immediately piped up, though you didn’t miss the slight wince in expression at the obvious pain he was feeling.

“Doctors orders.” You gave him a sweet smile as you held your hands up.

He slumped back, glaring through his bangs at nothing in particular, “Can you at least get my laptop?”

You let out a noise of amusement as you stood up, one hand on your stomach, the other on your dully aching back, “I didn’t realize having strep throat made your legs not work.”

“You want me in bed or not?”

“I’m going, I’m going.” You giggled as you waddled out of the room and into the open space of his office, digging through paperwork you made sure nothing was messed up, before finding his laptop charger and eventually finding the source as well.

Opening the cracked door to his room however you smiled softly as the sight of him laid back down, knocked out once again, a soft snore even escaping him as you tutted, walking over you set his laptop on his nightstand before tenderly pulling his covers back over his shoulder.

His expression looked so delicate when he was asleep, lips parted slightly and brows relaxed, tenderly you brushed your fingers through his hair before catching yourself.

Your hand snapping back to your chest as if it had been burned, swallowing hard you shook your head, you had been thinking about the past a lot more these days.

You couldn’t help but wonder if Jungkook did the same.

Frowning you shook your head before you exited his room, there was no point dwelling on the what-if’s after all.

Most of the day had gone by quietly, there was something different about the estate when Jungkook was home, even if he was sleeping away or working in his room, his energy still filled the air and brought a comforting feeling to whatever you did.

Eventually the afternoon passed and an idea had overtaken you.

“What are you doing?” Yeonjun paused at the door as he cocked his head to the side, brimming with curiosity.

You turned towards Yeonjun with a grin, “You can’t tell Jungkook.”

He sighed, “I hate when you start a sentence with that.”

You pouted, “I’m making him soup!”

Yeonjun looked relieved, “Oh…okay, better than I anticipated, it does smell good here.” He glanced around the empty kitchen, “But the kitchen staff are already preparing supper.”

You crossed your arms once more, “Well, that doesn’t change that I’m making him something to eat. There’s nothing like home cooking when you’re sick!”

Yeonjun held up his hands, “If it’s from you I’m sure he’ll love it….” He shuffled closer before peering over your shoulder, “Will there be extra?”

“Are you asking for a bowl?” You grinned.

“Only if there’s extra.”

“There’s plenty.” You replied with an excited smile, giving a little happy dance as you grabbed a set of bowls, proudly pouring your soup before handing one to Yeonjun who looked like a little kid snatching it from your hands.

Setting the other bowl on a tray you tided it up with a nice hot ginger plum tea and a few napkins, “Tell me how it tastes! I’m gonna run this up to his room.”

“Don’t you want some?” Yeonjun had already grabbed a spoon, slurping noodles.

You grimaced, “Honestly the taste of chicken broth makes me wanna vomit, back when I had morning sickness the smell alone had me gagging.”

“That’s a shame because this is honestly the best soup I’ve ever had- second actually,” Yeonjun smiled at his bowl, “Reminds me of my mom’s when I was sick as a kid.”

You only smiled at his words before briefly glancing down at your stomach, large and round, you could only hope you’d make the best soup your baby would love one day.

“Well nothing can beat mom’s soup, hopefully it’ll be second best for Jungkook too.” You laughed a little as you walked past Yeonjun, carefully holding the tray.

You didn’t know much about Jungkook, truthfully, sure you had talked pre-pregnancy, but it always…you huffed, shaking your head.

This had been happening more frequently, memories of the past would surface and you’d have to shove them back down, the past was the past for a reason. You could only assume they kept coming up because well…

It was Jungkook.

Knocking on his door you heard a scratchy ‘come in’ before opening the door.

Jungkook was sat up in bed, looking tired as he typed away on his laptop, eyes dragging towards you before you noticed them brighten just a little.

His eyes then dropped to the tray before he stiffened, “Why are you carrying that?”

“I can-” You couldn’t even finish your sentence before Jungkook had already gotten out of bed, swaggering up to you before grabbing the tray.

“Ask Yeonjun next time.” It was difficult to take his chided words serious when he was rasping this hard, a wince visible on his face as he continued, “If you drop that-”

“How many times do I have to tell you,” You huffed, “I’m pregnant, not dying.” Your expression softened a little as a small smile tugged on your lips at the sight of his floppy bangs covering his eyes in a sulky manner, “Lay back down, I made you something to sip on. I always loved warm broth when I was younger.”

Jungkook set the tray on his nightstand as he sat back down at the edge of the bed, staring down at the steaming bowl, his expression nonpulsed for a long moment.

“You do like soup right?” You shuffled a little nervous at his quietness.

“Who the fuck doesn’t like soup?” He quipped, “I just…” He glanced away, “You didn’t have to do that…”

“Of course I did!” You replied immediately, “If I don’t then who will?”

Jungkook parted his lips before closing them, sighing but not saying anything else as he propped his nightstand up, it extended upwards before turning towards him, he paused before taking a sip, “Well don’t just stand there.”

You glanced around the room, not much had changed, a few chairs still against the wall, a particular spot open to the wall, opposite to a mirror on the other side of the room hanging.

“Have you considered redecorating?” You asked as you rounded the bed, choosing to sit beside him on the empty side.

Groaning you rested your back against the headboard as your hands dropped to your stomach.

Jungkook shrugged beside you, “Not much reason too. I thought it looked fine.”

He plopped the spoon in his mouth as his eyes shut. He was never a very expressive person, but there was something about that satisfied look on his face that made you smile.

“It’s alright, it's just…” You trailed off, suddenly feeling as though you weren’t as ready to have this conversation as you thought you were.

“Just what?” Jungkook’s brows furrowed.

You forced a smile as you shook your head, “Nothing.”

The same way you last remembered it.

You glanced at the that small open space of the wall between both the chairs, how cold it felt against your back when…

Jungkook could obviously sense the uncomfortable silence, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“The soup.”

A somewhat hesitant smile tugged on your lips, “Of course. I’m…” Your smile became disheartened as you stood up, “I’m gonna start preparing for bed, you should get some more rest.”

Jungkook frowned but said nothing, though it looked like he wanted to, he only nodded.

You left his room feeling your feet drag as you closed your eyes, this feeling was something you were used to when it came to him.

This feeling of always dancing around one another, never talking about the tension in the room, except now it was even more evident then before.

You’d have to talk about it eventually.

I forgot all about my tags last chapter so I apologize!

taglist: @btseverafter7 @scuzmunkie @zae007live @cynicalbitch666 @somehowukook @bartisedrew @princess-sunshyn @jungk-shook-iiee @chickpea-jimin @hoseokteardrop @guk97butterfly @givemethemaknaes16 @bxcndd

#bts #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook imagine #bts imagine #bts x reader #bts fanfic #mafia!jungkook

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fontainesiblingsbiggestfan · 2 months

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Lyney & Lynette with GN S/O's pet

notes: mod dont quite know what exactly to write about but thats fine cause can just make it up as mod goes on.. would post more but dont wanna overflow the tags with mods stuff and drown out other wonderful writers n whatnot! this is probably way worse than the last one so sorry if it sucks :( [btw rq reminder that u can request stuff, so look into that if you want something made for one of/both of these two.)

Lyney is pretty good with animals of all types pretty much!! Besides fish though, fish hate him (and no even in a scared way, they bite him.) As soon as he realizes you have a pet he instantly wants to befriend it, asks you what they're like, do they like to eat this or that..

Probably gonna have to tell him to not give your pet too many treats, cause he might overdo it a tiny bit while trying to make him their favorite. Would probably start bringing a treat for everytime he went to your house then explains it as him having to pay an "entrance fee". If your pet is able to/likes to play he might bring them a toy like.. Every two or so weeks? Whenever he sees a cute toy for their species he'll just get one for your pet.

If it's a dog, he doesn't have much experience with them due to various reasons, but he doesn't dislike them or anything (even if he does prefer kitties..) You might not want a big one on his lap or anything though since he's not neccesarily the biggest guy, so be careful with that.

Asks you if it sheds before he even enters the house. He needs to know cause nine times out of ten he just finished a show and he does not want pet hair all over his show clothes. If it is then he'll probably end up going home to change to avoid any issues regarding that.

Cats love Lyney 99% of the time, can tame even the craziest of crazies into lapcats. Of course, this is 99%, not 100.. The 1% wants him dead. Birds also tend to like him since he's used to working with doves and whatnot, used to dealing with them. Asks you if he can have it on his finger/arm. Also good with rabbits due to him also working with them, might scare it like once with a magic trick though since he might forget yours isn't really used to that.?? Feels bad afterwards though and gives it food as an apology so I suppose it's alright.

Lyney is willing to petsit and is good at it. If your pet destroys anything you own while your gone he might just.. Replace it and hope you don't notice. Would be a bit scared that you might get angry at him also for letting it do that or something. In general would describe him as a pretty solid person to keep around your pet with points deducted due to the issue of him spoiling the thing too much, 8/10.

Lynette is liked by cats, and they tend to gravitate towards her. So, if you have a cat, hurray! If you have a dog, however...

Dogs don't really like her, with the range going from them barking at her constantly to just ignoring her, depending entirely on the dog's personality. Don't worry, though; it won't really offend her. She's quite used to it, and besides, she isn't a dog fan anyway. She would probably ask you to put the dog up if it won't leave her alone, though.

A lot like Lyney, she is also good with birds and rabbits. But do keep in mind, just because she's good with them, doesn't mean they're good with her. Birds, unless having been subject to Lynette for long enough, tend to fly away from her. Not all of them, just most of them.

Rodents and the like also run from her. And amphibians. And fish. Her cat-like features and smell seem to frighten any animals that would qualify as prey to a cat. But again, she doesn't really mind; she expected this sort of reaction anyway.

She doesn't try to make them like her or anything, wouldn't even mind if they hated her. Still, that doesn't mean she would turn the animal down if it does happen to enjoy her presence; she'd not-so-secretly like it if they did. Lynette might even come to your house just to chill out with the pet (you being a small side bonus to the trip).

Pretty good petsitter, kind of. Lynette has her own cats at home, so she's used to being climbed all over or serving food and whatnot. As long as the animal isn't scared of her, it will go fine. Just pray to God you have no machines that she'd have to use in her time there, and she'll be fine, 8/10 (points deducted for obvious reasons).

#lynette x reader #lyney x reader #genshin lynette #genshin lyney #lyney #lynette #genshin x reader #genshin impact

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transmascissues · 5 months

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i’m getting my drains out tomorrow and i’m sure things will be different after they’re gone, so here’s my observations about top surgery recovery as of 6 days post-op!

(click here for my first post, from 3 days after)

something i forgot to mention in my last post is that if they tell you a medication has to be taken with food, do not fuck with that. absolutely do not. my antibiotic had to be taken with food and on day 2, i thought “well, i just had breakfast not too long ago, surely that’s close enough and i’ll be fine” and my parents agreed, but guess what? i spent the next hour in hell. the meds made me nauseous so i had to eat, but eating still hurt a lot because of the sore throat from being intubated, so trying to make it better just caused me more pain. and both the sore throat and the nausea (which i guess was as much a heartburn sort of situation as it was nausea) were both very chest-adjacent feelings, so that on top of the usual pain and discomfort from surgery was just a perfect storm of horrible things all centralized to one part of my body. it was awful, and i will never fuck around with something like that again. that being said, if you do find yourself in that situation or are just looking for something light that will still do the job because you’re not that hungry, 10/10 would recommend oatmeal and apple sauce. apple sauce is what finally got my body to stop rioting against me and my bad decisions, and after that i started always taking it halfway through a bowl of oatmeal and that worked perfectly.

on day 4, i was able to sit up and get out of bed by myself for the first time! i still can’t do it just by using my core muscles, but if i hold onto my legs and lower them, i can sort of roll myself up into a sitting position without using any of the affected muscles too much.

on day 5, the sore throat from hell that being intubated gave me finally went away! cheers to not gripping my pillow in pain every two seconds while i swallow my spit anymore. it lasted a while, but it honestly went away pretty fast — on day 4 it was a bit better than it had been, and then the next day it was just gone.

also on day 5, i really started to feel the bandages digging into my armpits. i’m not sure if it’s because the bandage has been slipping up over time, if my armpits have some extra swelling now, or if it’s just been wearing my body down over time, but it feels like it’s starting to cut off circulation at a certain point and it makes my arms ache sometimes. that’s probably not great, but the surgeon will be redoing everything at my post-op anyway so i’ve just been riding it out until then. in the meantime, i can tell it’s definitely worse when i’m sitting back and kind of slouched (because that position pushes it up more), so i try to sit up or walk around when i feel it. having pillows on either side of me to put my elbows up on definitely also helps a lot — that’s how i’ve been sleeping, but it would be good for just sitting too.

also also on day 5, i started getting this weird fluttery feeling in the spot where the left side of my chest and the meat of my left armpit connect. it feels like it’s probably some sort of muscle spasm. it’s not painful at all, but i honestly wish it was because it’s just super weird and uncomfortable instead and i hate it. it genuinely might be my least favorite out of any pains or sensations i’ve had so far. luckily, though, it seems like it’s already died down and only happened a couple times today.

my energy has been all over the place. i’m at the point now where mentally i’m much closer to my normal state so i’m once again having the adhd urge to constantly do stuff, but my body’s ability to keep up is far less consistent. sometimes i get restless and can just get up and pace around for a while, but other times i try to do that and get really quickly exhausted. i’m definitely more able to have conversations and feel more like myself now though, even when my body is tired out.

i’ve been thirsty as all hell the past few days. i feel like i’m constantly asking my boyfriend to refill my water for me because i drain it so fast. it’s a very specific kind of thirst, too — like it never quite goes away even when i’m definitely very thoroughly hydrated, and like anything but water can’t even touch it. it’s not a bad thing, getting lots of fluids after surgery is important and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s exactly why my body is doing it, but it is a bit frustrating to just be incessantly thirsty for days at a time.

my walking posture is getting straighter every day. i still have to hold my chest to walk because of the bandage feeling like it drags things down, but if i’m walking with my mastectomy pillow, it mostly just looks like a typical slouch and not the deep hunch i started with.

at this point, my chest is super sensitive to any kind of movement, and that’s the other thing the pillow has been really good for at this stage. if the bandage shifts at all, if my body moves at all, basically anything — i feel it all in my chest really intensely. it’s not always painful, but it isn’t comfortable either. holding the pillow to my chest helps stabilize things so the movement doesn’t reach the sensitive parts as much, which is really great.

walking up stairs is easier than walking down stairs, which is the exact opposite of what i would’ve guessed. from what i can tell just from moving around, i think it’s because bending your legs up to a higher step pretty solidly relies on your legs and lower core muscles to make it happen, while reaching your legs down to a lower step requires stretching your body out (which is famously not your body’s favorite thing to do after top surgery). it often feels like i almost can’t reach the step below and have to just barely catch it with the balls of my feet. it’s also just generally been good to take the stairs super slow going up or down because you really can’t use the railing — putting enough weight on it to really rely on it at all requires using chest muscles, so the best i’ve been able to do is just rest my hand on it in case of emergency (because i’d rather hurt my chest than crack my head open if it comes to that).

one of the things that makes the stairs hard is that my center of balance is off from hunching, and that definitely affects my walking too. it’s less pronounced now that i’m in the habit of using the pillow to walk straighter, but i have to take shorter strides and sort of shuffle around because longer strides need better balance, and even with the shuffle i’m stumbling more than usual. i already have some balance problems so i’m pretty used to the feeling of it, but it has freaked my parents out a couple times to see me start listing to one side before i catch myself.

fuck reflexes. reflexes are the actual worst. something i didn’t anticipate is that no matter how careful you are to not reach your arms too far or move them too fast, you can never totally account for what you do if something starts falling. a few times now, i’ve definitely reached too far or fast before stopping myself because i saw something about to go down and my brain instinctively told my hands to catch it. i’m not sure if there’s anything you can really do about that, but it’s worth being aware of because it caught me by surprise the first time i did it.

one side of my chest has been consistently more swollen than the other. that side has also consistently drained less, and the fluid it does drain is darker and redder. we asked my surgeon if that was normal and she said there’s almost always one side that drains more than the other, but it’s still something we’ve been keeping an eye on. hopefully i’ll be able to get a more concrete answer at my post-op, once she can see the swelling up close and look at the drainage numbers from the past week.

as i’ve been getting some use of my body back, the pain in my chest has gotten a bit more obvious. it’s milder pain, and when i’m not doing anything it’s mostly painless to the point where i’m going a lot longer between tylenol doses, but when i’m using my body, i can definitely feel it. the fact that i’m not avoiding physical activity like the plague as much means i’m noticing more pain even though objectively my pain levels have gone down — the things that hurt now didn’t hurt less before, i just didn’t even attempt them before because i knew they would hurt so much. now that the pain is down, i can try more things, which means i’m more likely to try something that ends up hurting. of course, you should always try to follow the if-it-hurts-then-stop rule, but you can’t avoid the pain altogether as you learn your body’s boundaries, so i ended up getting to a point where getting better feels like getting worse.

on that note, i’ve also learned that there’s a pretty distinct difference between milder “i should proceed with caution” pain and intense “stop what you’re doing right now” pain. as much as avoiding things that hurt is ideal, it’s not always realistic, but my body has definitely been very clear in telling me what i can and can’t compromise on. in the beginning i was really paranoid about doing anything that caused any pain at all, but now i’m more familiar with where i can push a bit further if needed and where i really need to hold off.

i’ve been getting chills much more easily lately, and they’ve also been SUPER strong. i’ll be watching a show or listening to music and something will give me chills, and it’s a really intense feeling all across my ribs, and even thinking about the thing that caused it brings on a whole new wave. i’m super curious to see if it’s just a temporary result of my nerves doing their thing or if it’ll stick around long-term. it’s not unpleasant at all, i honestly really like it.

i got some food for myself for the first time today (day 6) and it just involved slicing some pretty soft cheese, but wow, it was a workout for my shoulder. i’m guessing it’s because i haven’t really used my muscles in that way for a week, and because not being able to use my chest muscles means i was relying on my shoulder a lot more to do all the work of moving my arm. by the time i was done, just holding the block of cheese to put it back in the fridge felt like lifting weights.

i didn’t change my shirt the first few days but i’ve changed a few times now, and we’ve perfected the art of getting a button up shirt on me without overreaching my arms at all. basically, you want to put both arms into the sleeves before you lift the shirt up onto your shoulders, because once the shirt is on one shoulder, you have to reach back a lot farther to get to the other sleeve. once you have both arms in, you can lift it onto your shoulders and button it. ideally, whoever’s helping you should do most of the work to pull the sleeves over your arms so you don’t have to stretch your arm out to get them on. i’m sure that’ll be overkill once i have a bit more mobility, but for now, it works great. it definitely would be tough if the shirt was fitted though, so i’m glad i went up a size.

i hope my posts like this have been helpful, or at least interesting to read! i’ll definitely keep updating as time goes on and things change, and i’m also going to work on a breakdown of my experience at the hospital pre- and post-op, as well as my post-op appointment experience once that happens tomorrow.

y’all are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly of my recovery experience. i know a lot of this has been very focused on the bad and the ugly so far because surgery is generally rough, but i’m going to see my chest again tomorrow so stay tuned for some good!

#bet you weren’t expecting an even longer post than my last one #i just have so much to say about this whole experience #i want to document EVERYTHING especially the stuff i haven’t seen other people mention #top surgery adventures #top surgery #trans man #transmasc

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ineffectualdemon · 7 months

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I can't find the post (ETA: @furbygoblinxiv found the post! It's here) there is one going around about how no, Shen Qingqiu wouldn't have become Shen Jiu if he was transmigrated into a child. Because has the memories and mindset of someone born into privilege

From what I understood its not that privilege means happiness and success it just means you haven't been ground down by the system in the same way and have a certain knowledge of how to grease the wheels and network and work the system. Especially in Shen Yuan's case as he read the freaking book

And that the parallels between Luo Binghe and Shen Jiu start not with child abuse but with the fact that they both started with less than nothing living on the streets (a theme in MXTX's work tbh)

So Bingqiu's misunderstanding in a lot of ways is rooted in someone who grew up in relative privilege and wealth not being able to understand the perspective of someone who has grown up in poverty (taken to extremes of course and mixed with other trauma)

Part of the reason Luo Binghe does things the way he does is he's trying enter the world of wealth and class above him and is constantly made to feel like that desperate child on the streets again. Shen Qingqiu makes him feel like that even after the transmigration but it's worse because Shen Yuan isn't even doing it on purpose. He just doesn't realise until too late what his actions do to Binghe

And I just find it interesting that in less extreme way we also have that with Moshang and the baseline ship of Cumplane

Mobei doesn't have a great home life (and I would argue there is very little reason to believe Shen Yuan had one either) but he's rich and he's powerful and he's spoiled. Able to have whatever he wants when he wants it. He doesn't realise the cultural differences and that he's hurting Shang Qinghua until it's far too late

And Peerless Cucumber absolutely treats Airplane like shit. The "were you not hugged as a child" line always infuriates me because it's very clear he wasn't. I don't think airplane was a poor a child as Shen Jiu and Luo Binghe but I believe that while supporting himself with his writing and especially before PIDW popped off there was a lot of not knowing when he'd next get to eat. He has experienced poverty and is always on guard against it. We get at least two different mentions of him squirreling away money for just in case

I just think it's really interesting how the couples reflect each other

#svsss #bingqiu #moshang #cumplane #svsss meta #if anyone can link the og post please do and i'll add it #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #shen jiu #shang qinghua #mobei jun

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rubra-wav · 12 days

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Various Adam headcanons

A/N I'm not an Adam simp, I just have been thinking abt him since the last post I did.

A lot of these are just things I feel in vibes and are completely baseless haha.

Cw: SFW, angsty in parts, misogyny, slight reference to disordered eating, uhhh idk man it's mixed

He's very messy and his house is like a bombsite of unwashed dishes and laundry.

Think messy roommate horror stories: that's him, and he doesn't give a single damn about it. Thinks he shouldn't have to clean up his house because that's a 'chick thing'

He's naturally really warm and overheats a lot because of it. Due to this, he has his house cold so he isn't sweating his ass off at all times.

He's really good to sleep next to during cold weather, but is God awful during hot weather.

Will not stop bitching about it being too hot when he's slightly uncomfortable and laughs at people who are easily cold, calling them weak.

His favourite things to watch are shitty b grade movies - especially comedy ones.

Prides himself on knowing current lingo, memes, and jokes (and actually pulls off not sounding like an old person trying to be 'hip with the kids' and cringey)

Follow up: makes deez nuts and ligma jokes out of everything and finds it hilarious. Sera sent him out of a meeting for doing this to Emily one time.

He's the type of mf who is pretentious asf about beer being superior and believes any guy who likes sweeter drinks / doesn't like beer are pussies.

He secretly doesn't believe this in the slightest and actually hates beer, he'd never admit it though. He has a sweet tooth and actually really likes drinks like Baileys.

Constantly talking, even if it's just to himself.

He likes AC/DC a lot. Ironically, 'highway to hell' is one of his favourite songs of all time.

He always wears his mask because he feels more vulnerable without it.

If you're close with him, he'd likely feel more comfortable to take it off around you - would fight to keep it on at all times if he doesn't trust you or feel safe with you.

I headcanon he put on weight after getting to heaven because after he was kicked out of Eden he didn't have nearly as much food, so he began binging when he finally had it again. It kind of just stayed a comfort for him.

He's really insecure about his weight gain too. If you point it out he's gonna get really upset. (Like how Lucifer does in ep 8)

Follow up: he literally always has snacks and is an absolute bitch about sharing them. If he does share them with you, he expects you to be really grateful.

His masculinity is fragile as it gets.

Would physically wilt if you even slightly imply he's not masculine and then become extremely angry and try to prove he actually is.

The main reason he is misogynistic is due to his experience with Lilith.

Before Lilith ran away from him, I think that Adam actually had extremely high respect for women.

His whole purpose was to reproduce. Women do a hell of a lot more then men during the whole process of reproduction and dude worships pussy even now (he named his best soldier after it. Not after dick, vag)

I imagine that it was a much larger appreciation for women in general before Lilith screwed him over.

This soured into misogyny, though, after she ran away and likely grew much, much worse with Eve due to her actually being made from him.

Eve then proceeded to eat the apple given to her and resulted in them being kicked out of Eden, which made it even worse.

He's the definition of that one reddit incel who had bad experiences with a handful of women and now is an absolute misogynistic cunt lmao

Hella abandonment issues.

Also hella jealousy issues.

Doesn't matter if you're a friend or a partner, he's going to be grappling to be number one and the only one in your life.

He's not manipulative or slick about it even a little though, it's obvious as it gets. Will vy for your attention by being literally as obnoxious as possible constantly.

Literally so clingy.

If you ever point it out, he'll deny it though and get very flustered.

Bro needs reassurance so bad you aren't gonna leave him if you're his partner.

Will sometimes just get really quiet and ask if he did something if he even slightly senses a tone shift to negativity.

Pretends it never happened afterwards and will downplay his fears massively if you call him out on it.

He's the type of sleeper who moves around a lot and ends up upside down somehow. Also a sleep talker.

Is the type of mf who has the skill to transcribe songs into guitar simply by ear.

He never shuts up about it, so although it is actually a really incredible skill, you want to not praise it because of how annoying he is over it.

Follow up: can play most types of guitar.

One of those extremely annoying rock fans who scoff when you put on anything but rock.

Also acts like he knows more about rock than anybody.

If you put on country music around him, he will forcefully grab the aux from you to turn it off.

He knows he actually isn't very smart at all and is super insecure about it.

He's had it used against him time and time again by people like Lilith and overcompensates to deter this by acting like he is actually the smartest person at all times.

When someone treats him like he's stupid, especially about something he actually knows/is knowledgeable about, he's extremely defensive about it (like when Lute points out the shield to him in ep 8)

Would be the type to go "Mansplaining means 'man explaining things'" to you with complete lack of self-awareness.

I need to draw Sera looking absolutely horrified as he screams the lyrics to highway to hell so bad.

Got possessed with the energy I had to suddenly write this omg.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #hazbin hotel adam headcanons #hazbin hotel adam x reader

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if-found-return-to-sender · 7 months

Text

What a Suprise~ Bill Weasley

Waddling was all I could call the way I was walking.

But I couldn’t see my life being any other way.

An amazing man that loves me just the way I am.

An adopted son.

A loving family that’s there for me no matter what.

And a baby on the way.

But waddling was the least of my worries

There were worse symptoms of being almost nine months pregnant. Like constantly having to pee, having swollen ankles, barely getting any sleep at night, my mood changing at any and all moments, only eating things I crave, and my least favorite becoming nauseous at anything my nose deems disgusting.

But I had to remind myself that it would all be worth it.

To have that little bundle of joy in my arms will make it all worth it.

I had to make the days shorter by keeping me busy to make the final weeks of this pregnancy fly by. And that starts with me getting out of bed.

That was no easy task.

The amount of rolling around and grunting got the man lying next to me to stir awake. “Good morning love. Do you need any help?” Bill asked me.

I grumbled as I asked,” What does it look like hun?”

“It looks like my beautiful wife is trying to get out of bed when we both know your abs are no longer in working order,” he chuckles at me.

“Yeah yeah just help me get up so I can get ready before Teddy wakes up,” I grumble to him.

(Teddy a.k.a Edward Remus Lupin, the son of my late sister Tonks. He was put into my care after the second wizarding war when it was found that Nymph and Remus were gone. I’ve taken care of him ever since then. It's been three years.)

“Okay okay I’m coming,” he said back to me.

Bill pulls me out of our cozy bed and my feet hit the cold floor making me shiver. I stand in front of my husband giving him a kiss before I begin to walk towards the bathroom. I’m stopped before I take my second step by Bill’s hand gently holding my arm.

He carefully spins me around so as not to make me dizzy.

He then gets on his knees so he is level with your sizable bump. He then starts to talk to your bump,” Good morning little one. I just have a few rules for the day for you. One, don’t kick your mother in the ribs, Two, don’t come out early, and last but not least I love you so much, and can’t wait to see you any day now.” He ends the chat with a couple of kisses to my stomach tickling me in the process causing me to laugh. Which in return causes our baby to kick where the kisses were settled.

“Well if your done sweet talking the babe I am going to go and take a shower,” I say as I’m looking down at him.

All he does is look up at me with adoration something I’ve seen from him quite a lot these past weeks.

“What are you staring at?” I ask him.

“I am looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. Just trying to understand how I got so lucky to have someone like you,” he says in amazement.

“I’m still trying to understand what in Merlin’s name I had to do in order to have the most handsome, most loving, and definitely most daring husband to ever step foot on the world,” I respond with the same love and adoration.

He stands up again with a wide smile spread across his face.

He pulls me into a kiss.

He had to lean in order to reach my lips as there was an obstacle in his way.

“Now I’m going to shower,” I say back to him as I walk away.

“I will most likely be downstairs making breakfast when you are done,” he says back to me.

I walk into the bathroom turn on the shower and turn to look in the mirror just looking at myself hoping one day to see some of the same features in my little girl.

Yes, girl.

Bill hasn’t wanted to know so I haven’t told him, but I found out a long time ago.

Keeping the news a secret all to myself.

I walk into the shower as the hot water runs down my body washing away yesterday. I run my hands over my stomach to make sure I don’t miss a single inch of my body.

I go through my routine but still don’t want to get out of the hot water as it has raised my body temperature significantly since I’ve gotten in. The chill of the morning trying to sneak into the hot shower. Only getting out when the tips of my fingers start to wrinkle.

I dry off and put on the plush robe waiting on the back of the bathroom door. Hoping to keep the cool air at bay. Continuing to dry my hair as I wipe the condensation off the mirror in front of me.

While looking at myself I take a moment to take it all in before the day finally begins.

I brush out my hair and move to the closet to get dressed. Picking one of Bill’s sweaters and my trusted leggings. The only thing that still fits.

Just as I finished the exercise of putting my socks on I heard the little groans coming from the room down the hall.

I smile to myself as I make my way to the babbling toddler.

“Good morning Mr. Teddy,” I say to him. I’m only greeted with a barely toothy grin.

The boy in front of me has the face of his father but the eyes and hair of his mother. Finding out that he is a metamorphmagus like his mother was a shock and a relief. I was washing dishes when I heard Teddy sneeze and then heard continuous quacking. I walked into the living room to see him with a duck beak on the front of his face. Quickly calling my mother was the only thing I thought to do. She was over in a heartbeat to teach me how to change him back to his perfect self.

I chuckle at the memory as I make my way over to the blue-haired boy. He smiles at me jumping with excitement at seeing me coming to get him.

“Do you want to get dressed or have breakfast?” I ask picking him up.

He points to the small closet behind us as his answer.

“Alright let’s get you dressed,” I say.

Changing him has always been an easy task for me.

As long as he’s holding my wand. It hasn’t caused any accidents yet, but I know one day it probably will.

I put him down on the floor and told him to get breakfast. He then takes off down the hall the sound of his little feet hitting the floor echoes through the quiet house.

I smile as I follow him down the hall.

When he gets to the stairs he waits for me to catch up with him.

I tell him,” It’s okay you know how to do it.”

He then turns around and begins to slowly descend the stairs. He looks up at me every so often to make sure I’m still following. When he makes it to the bottom of the stairs he slowly stands and turns around taking off toward the kitchen. The smell of breakfast floats to my nose.

I waddle my way to the kitchen doorway in time to hear their conversation.

“Good morning my son. How did you sleep my little tyke?” he says to him.

Teddy babbles for a bit before he says,” Good dada.”

Hearing Teddy say that to him feels wrong but earned. We will tell him of his parents and just how heroic they were. When he can understand why we kept it a secret, but for now we will play the part.

“Oh really and you look so handsome and cozy in your sweater. Did you pick it out or did Mommy?” he says to the boy.

“Me,” he says proudly.

Which is true although I picked out two for him to choose from.

“Well, you definitely made a good choice. Nana Weasley will be overjoyed when she learns you’ve taken a liking to her sweaters,” Will says to Teddy as he tickles his little stomach making Teddy let out a loud giggle.

“See Nana,” Teddy says excitedly.

“We’ll see Nana next weekend okay,” Bill responds.

“Okay,” Teddy says back with a smile on his little face.

I stand in the doorway to the kitchen watching the scene playing out in front of me.

Bill is trying to make pancakes while still holding Teddy in his arms. I take this as my cue to step in and help him with making breakfast. I pour myself a cup of coffee to make my presence known to the man on the other side of the kitchen. I hear music begin to play throughout the cozy room. I turn to see the two of them begin to dance to the music around them.

I giggle at the two of them and move to take over making breakfast for my husband.

I finished making everything and brought it to the little table perfect for my little family. As I finish bringing the last of the food to the table Bill and Teddy dance their way over to me squishing me in between the two of them in slobbery kisses on each cheek.

“Oh thank you my loves,” I laugh to them as they sit down.

Teddy gets out,“ Welcome mama.” I start to put food onto a plate for Teddy so I can cut it up for him. The music still softly going in the background of our meal.

The rest of breakfast is spent talking to Bill about the current case he’s working on, and Teddy occasionally chiming in to tell us his opinions.

After breakfast, I’m at the sink washing the dishes from the morning while humming to the music in the house. Teddy is in the living room playing with his toys. And as I’m cleaning one of the last dishes I feel two arms snake around my waist or what was left of it from behind.

“You look so beautiful today,” he whispers in my ear swaying us slowly.

“Well, you take some of the credit. This is your sweater after all,” I say back to him as I sway with him.

“I can’t take any credit you’re beautiful wearing anything. Especially when wearing nothing,” he responds while biting my ear lobe ever so lightly.

“Thank you my love, but not gonna happen,” I sass at him.

“Okay if not that then could I have this dance with you, my lady?” he asks holding out his hand to me.

I nod my head yes, and take his hand. He pulls me in close to him and we begin to dance. I listen closely and begin to hear the song that’s playing. Our song. As I begin listening the song gets louder as we begin dancing our way through the main level of our home. It makes me remember our wedding. The songs, the dancing, the food, and him, my husband. One of the best days of my life as I’m sure there are more to come especially with our little one on the way.

We finally make it to the living room where Teddy begins to stand to his feet holding his arms out and asking to be held.

I instantly pick him up and we squish him in between us as we continue our dance around the toys in the living room. We begin to sing to the little boy in our arms. Causing him to giggle as he listens to us sing funnily at him.

The song begins to wind down and Bill spins and dips me one last time as the last note holds.

When I come back up I feel it.

The rush of water gushing down my leg.

I look up at Bill with shock all over my face. He’s still laughing with Teddy until he looks at me. His smile was replaced with worry as he instantly started to look me over. His eyes finally looked to the ground to see the puddle around us.

I can see the shock finally register on his face.

All I can do is smile with excitement. We knew it could happen any day and apparently, today was the day.

I took Teddy from Bill’s arms as he raced up the stairs to get our hospital bags.

I looked at Teddy with a smile on my face trying not to worry or freak out the young boy. Bill appears a couple of seconds later with two trunks in his arms.

It’s my turn to look at my husband with love and admiration. My smile is reciprocated by the ginger in front of me. I don’t know what the rest of the day has in store but I’m ready to do it with this man at my side.

I waddle over to Bill and he meets me halfway linking my arm with his we aparate to the burrow to drop off Teddy with Molly and Arthur.

When Molly sees us on the front steps she instantly knows why we're here. She’s already fussing over me before she opens the door.

She takes the excited toddler from my arms and tells us to go the instant Teddy is resting on her hip. As we turn to walk away to aparate to St.Mungos Molly grabs my arm and whispers,” Oh, and good luck my dear. Bring home my second grandbaby.”

I give her a nervous smile as I walk to Bill and we are off.

We arrive at the hospital and my first contraction hits my body.

The second one is not far behind it.

I am put in a wheelchair and bring me to a private room.

I look around at the room and take in the fact that this is where my little girl is going to be brought into the world. A day that feels weird now that it is here.

I'm put in bed and nurses start to fuss over me and my baby making sure that everything is going smoothly. As one of the nurses goes to check me a surge of pain goes through my body as another contraction hits me.

The nurse apologies as she’s done checking me telling me that I’m progressing fast and that I’m at 5 centimeters already.

5 more to go I tell myself.

5 more and I get to see my beautiful girl.

Time passed and it felt like an eternity.

But finally, I was ready to push.

I pushed for three hours.

I was exhausted, sad, happy, a whole bunch of emotions. I was about to give up when I heard it. Her cry.

A cry I’ve waited eight and a half months for.

I look over at my husband who’s been letting me squeeze his hand for the last three hours. I see him looking at the baby that is being laid on my chest with that same love and admiration he shows me every day.

She’s already stolen his heart and she’s barely a minute old.

“It’s a girl, my love,” I whisper to him as he puts his face next to mine to get a closer look at the babe.

“A great surprise indeed,” he says with tears all over his face.

After she was cleaned and bundled up snugly she was placed into my arms by the nurse who said,” I’ll give you guys some time to yourself.”

“Thank you,” I smiled towards the nurse.

Now we were alone with our baby.

Our second baby.

“You are the most beautiful girl in the world,” Bill says.

“Are you talking to me or her?” I quip.

“I’m talking to both of you. She looks so much like you already,” he ogles.

“Except for the full head of red hair and that nose. She definitely got those from you. We will have to wait and see what her eye color is, but my money is on blue,” I say to him.

“What are we going to name her my love?” He asks me.

“I think we’ll name her Agnes Nymphdora Weasley. What do you think about that little one?” I ask her.

All I get in return is a smile. Her first smile.

“You, Agnes, will do great and wonderful things and I know that because you will have me and your dad, and your brother at your side at all times. And you don’t even know it yet but you have six uncles and four aunts who love you. And your Nana and Papa Weasley, and your Granny Tonks. And so many more, and guess what they all love you so much. But I will say that your Dad definitely loves you the most I can see it in his eyes. You already have him wrapped around your tiny finger,” she smiles as I say that,” And of course, you know it too you little cheeky thing. You get that from your uncles Fred and George,” I continue to go on and on about your beautifully broken family until I’m fast asleep.

I woke up the next morning to hear Bill talking to someone.

I open my eyes and see Molly and Arthur.

“Where are the kids?” my groggy voice mixed with sleep and worry asks.

“We were waiting until you woke up for them to meet,” Molly says to me,” don’t worry he’s at the house with the rest of the family who are excited and ready to congratulate you.”

“I think I’ll need a day or two before that happens,” I say with a sigh.

“That is just fine my dear. We will be celebrating at the burrow whenever you’re ready to come by,” she says as she kisses me on the cheek,” in the meantime, I’ll go get the little man of the hour.” She then walks out the door with Arthur following close behind.

I then realize that Bill is holding our baby wrapped in multiple blankets. No doubt the work of Molly while I was asleep. I smile as I see him rocking her back and forth while humming our song to her.

I could feel my heart beaming with pride.

Then there is a knock on the door.

“Just a minute,” I say.

Bill and I both know exactly who is behind that door.

He walks over to me and carefully hands me baby Agnes. I get her situated in my arms, and Bill caresses my face in admiration as I do so. He takes the chair he’s been using next to the bed.

“Come in,” I say to the door not too loudly in case I might wake the sleeping baby.

The door slowly opens to reveal Teddy in the arms of Molly as she walks into the room. Arthur follows slowly behind them with Teddy’s security blanket.

“Hi buddy,” I say to him in a soft but excited voice.

All he does is wave to me as he pushes against Molly to be let down. She lets him down so he can come over on his own terms. Before he walks towards us he reaches and grabs his blanket from Arthur.

He then begins to walk around the bed to stand next to the chair Bill is sitting in.

“You want to come up,” Bill says as he reaches out his arms to Teddy.

Teddy nods his little head.

Bill puts him in his lap.

“Hi baby,” I say to him.

“Hi, Mommy,” he says back to me.

“Do you know who this is?” Bill asks him.

“Mommy,” Teddy says.

“That’s right, but who is Mommy holding,” he asks again.

He looks at me taking in everything before him. The bed with the white sheets, me with my hospital gown on, and finally I see his little eyes land on the bundle of blankets in my arms. He then stands up in Bill’s lap trying to get a better look at her.

“Baby!” he says with a lot of excitement. The smile on his face is genuine and infectious.

I became so happy that I felt tears of happiness build behind my eyes.

“Yes that’s right, baby, this is your baby sister,” I say to him.

“Hold, please,” Teddy says to me as he begins to climb out of Bill’s lap and onto the hospital bed. I instantly began moving to make room in my lap for the boy by holding the baby in one arm while he slid his way into my lap.

“Okay, hunny curl your arm to support her head, and then wrap your arm around her… there you go buddy good job,” I instruct my son.

Agnes doesn’t stir one bit as Teddy holds her.

It’s like she knows who he is already.

“What do you think Teddy?” Bill asks.

“Pretty,” he says as he begins to slowly touch her head. I take off her hat so that he can see her full head of red hair, and he begins to stroke it back and forth.

“You’re doing such a good job baby. Being so gentle with her,” I say with a smile across my face.

I look up after hearing the silent sobbing from across the room.

Molly is in tears while Arthur tries to console her.

“Would you like to know what her name is?” I ask the grandparents in front of me.

Molly nods her head slowly while wiping her nose with a handkerchief. Arthur waiting to catch his wife if need be at what’s about to happen.

“Well, we decided to name her Agnes Nymphadora Weasley,” I say proudly to them.

I see the quiet sob leave Molly’s mouth at the name of our first baby girl.

Arthur says to us,” That’s a mighty fine name for your little girl. I’m so proud of both of you. More you than him Y/n.”

“Thank you Arthur that means the world,” I say in thanks.

~ The next day is spent relearning all the steps of having a newborn. The diapers. The feedings. The sleep cycle.

We leave for home after three days in the hospital.

We open our front door to see Molly busying herself with cleaning. While Arthur is in the living room reading out loud to Teddy.

“What’s all this?” I ask as I enter the house.

“Well, we’re here to help you of course,” Molly says matter of factly.

“Thank you,” I say to her.

As I continue to enter the house I begin to hear little feet padding towards us. I then see him come around the corner running straight towards us. I drop to my knees to greet him with the biggest hug possible.

“Hi, buddy. Did you have fun with Nana and Papa?” I ask him.

He nods his head as a response wanting to be held by me. So I picked him up.

“What do you… “ I don’t even get to finish my sentence as a big yawn comes from the small boy. “You wanna take a nap buddy,” I ask him.

“With you please,” he answers.

“Of course buddy. We’ll go upstairs and take a nap together you and me,” I respond.

“And Daddy, and baby,” he pleas.

“Okay, buddy we will go and take a family nap how about that,” I say to him.

He nods his head with sleepy excitement.

“Well, you heard the man. Up you get,” I say to my husband with a tired smile.

He begins to climb the stairs with the sleeping baby girl in his arms. I turn to look at Molly but she’s already shooing me up the stairs to follow my husband. “Okay, Okay I’m going,” I say to her,” thank you again Molly for all you’ve done.”

“No need to thank me, love. I had the help when I had mine thank Merlin. So I’m repaying the favor one grandbaby at a time,” she says back to me.

I smile one last time at her before I walk up the stairs to the bedroom I shared with my husband and for a while our baby Agnes.

I walk into the room to see that Bill is almost asleep, and Agnes is down for the count. I keep Teddy at my side as I slide into the plush bed. As I go to move him I see he’s fast asleep on my shoulder. I lean back onto the headboard and slide down onto my back with Teddy on top of me. I turn my head so I can cuddle into the side of my beautiful husband.

“Thank you,” he says to me out of nowhere.

“What are you thanking me for?” I ask with confusion.

“For giving me this. The life I’ve always wanted. My beautiful children taking a nap with me and my beautiful wife. All I can say to you is Thank you for bringing this life into the world,” he says while pointing at Agnes,” And for bringing him into my life,” he says while pointing at Teddy,” And thank you for choosing me to be the one you spend the rest of the life with,” he finishes with tears in his eyes.

I lean to him and give him the most deeply loving kiss I can.

“I will always choose you, William Weasley,” I say while looking into his eyes,” I will choose you in this life and every lifetime after that. I mean it.”

“And I will choose you in every lifetime as well my love,” he says back to me.

“Now I’m taking a nap and relishing in the quiet before the storm,” I say to him as I close my eyes.

He pecks my cheek and nose one last time before he pulls me into his side to hold me while we all sleep together in the true mark before the rest of our lives.

#harry potter imagine #bill weasley x reader #bill weasley #bill weasley imagine #molly weasley #weasley family #hp fandom #hp fanfcition #hogwarts #arthur weasley #the weasleys

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vorpalfae · 1 month

Text

Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

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