#issue i have. like i never find that kind of happiness in friendships

[breadbrobin]

call it what you want

luke castellan x reader — percy jackson and the olympians

[fem!daughter of aphrodite reader]

summary: he fell first, you fell harder, and all at once.

warning: tooth-rotting fluff. literally i think that’s it it’s just sickeningly cute

word count: 2.1k

(the luke brainrot is so real i wrote this at like 4am last night plsss)

——————————————

luke castellan thought you could have hung the stars in the sky. he wouldn’t know any different, nor would he care to find out. in his mind, you were perfect. the most perfect, in fact.

there was one person that no one could hate at camp, and that was you. a friend to all who’d have you, a sister to those who needed you, and whatever you were to luke.

not even you understood the nature of your relationship with him.

years of friendship slowly became changed, twisted, slightly more than you’d bargained for. it was a happy change. realising you were in love with luke castellan was an ever-continuous process—a little one day, a little more another. but for luke… gods, realising he was in love with you came as easy as breathing. every smile on your lips, every laugh, every surreptitious look across rooms set his heart aflame. fluttering, dancing, swirling.

it wasn’t like you didn’t love him. you did. you surely did. but time hadn’t been kind to your heart and children of aphrodite have never been truly lucky in love. helping others achieve their loves was more common. more often than not, you and your siblings were happy with just that.

“anyone you got your eye on?” you asked one day as you sat with luke on the dock. your bare feet dangled into the water, toes just touching the cool surface.

“maybe. maybe not. when are you leaving?” he avoided the question, gazing out at the water and squinting in the glare of the sun.

“two weeks. i’m staying for my birthday this year.” you looked over at him. “you can tell me who it is, you know? i won’t laugh, i promise.”

he shot you an exasperated look. “what makes you think there is someone, princess?”

you lean over and nudge his arm teasingly, missing the blush on his face. “you’ve been distracted lately. quiet. you smile more though, and i’ve seen you blushing. who is it?”

“maybe i’m sick. what if i’m dying, y/n? then what? you’re assuming i’m in love when i’m actually dying?”

you raised your hands mockingly. “hey, you’re the one who mentioned love, pal. not me. ask yourself about that one.”

he rolled his eyes and elbowed you gently with a soft smile. his smiles were always soft, you realised. gentle and kind—two words you’d use to describe luke castellan any chance you got. you looked at him in the sunlight. and pretty, you thought. gentle, kind and pretty.

late nights were always for thinking.

you’d had trouble sleeping since you were a kid. not just the typical demigod issues with nightmares, but difficulty falling asleep in the first place. when those times struck, and the late hours before midnight slipped by, your thoughts wandered.

as always, your thoughts circled a few items; your family, your friends, then, always, luke.

he was separate to your friends, always had been. you didn’t really know why.

gentle, kind and pretty, you recalled. it had been a few days since the lake and you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about who he was in love with. was there some person out there at camp who held his heart, truly and deeply? why did your chest ache? were you having a heart attack?

you pressed your fingers to your pulse point in concern, then pulled them away after a few seconds. you were fine. why did you feel like that?

no one ever said children of aphrodite weren’t oblivious to their own feelings.

time ticked by into the small hours of the morning, and still you couldn’t find sleep.

you rolled out of bed and stepped into your slippers, pulling a fluffy robe around your body and stepping out into the warm night. the air was still and calm, a juxtaposition to your whirling mind as you crossed the camp, stepping down paths and stepping over tree roots in a manner you’d memorised from countless treks on similar nights.

the hermes cabin was always warmer than your own, but tonight the heat was almost stifling. you could feel the heat heavy in the air as you breathed, and sweat beaded on your lip as you crossed the cabin silently to luke’s bed.

he was sleeping half sitting up, a colouring book and set of pencils splayed out on his lap. it was one you’d bought him for his birthday years ago. you had no idea he even used it.

quietly, you packed away the pencils and put them and the book on the side table. as you did, luke’s eyes cracked open. he frowned.

“y/n? are you okay?” he rubbed his eyes, sitting up straight and stretching his neck.

“can’t sleep,” you whispered.

he nodded and pushed his sheets off. he pulled a sweatshirt on and led you out of the cabin.

this was normal for you both. if one couldn’t sleep, you’d find the other and keep each other company until you felt you could rest. it was always nice knowing someone was there to talk to, or even just sit with. there was never resentment, never irritation from the other person. you would always come find each other. finding each other was like second nature to the two of you. you swore you could find luke in any situation, with your eyes closed, all your senses blotted out, by instinct and connection alone. you could find luke castellan without even a second thought.

you sat on the porch of the cabin with your legs hanging over the edge. luke’s legs were crossed.

“what are we doing for your birthday?” he asked finally.

you shrugged. “nothing, probably. maybe i’ll get some cake. i don’t know.”

“you didn’t do anything last year,” he protested. “you need to this year. it’s the big 18.”

“we didn’t do much for your eighteenth.”

he shrugged. “we did more than nothing, though, pretty girl. come on, we have to do something.”

you shook your head. “you wanna do something, you can plan it, pretty boy. i don’t mind.”

he sighed dramatically, leaning back and lying down on the rough wood. “fine. i will.”

you laughed quietly and lay back next to him, staring up at the wooden overhang above you.

you could feel his body heat against your arm as it lay between you. he was like a furnace, honestly, always radiating heat. it was nice in winter, but oftentimes stifling in summer. this was not one of those times. instead, you revelled in the closeness between you and almost—selfishly, confusingly—wished you were closer. maybe even close enough to touch.

your birthday was a quiet affair. your siblings wished you happy birthday and gave you a handful of small gifts, mostly beauty products and clothes that would fit you perfectly, even a cute bikini you put on under your clothes, and then you all went on with your day.

it was nice, honestly, getting well wishes but little attention. you needed no celebration or pizzazz, just friends, smiles and the occasional hug.

arms wrapped around your waist from behind. you yelped in shock and turned around, finding yourself face to face with luke. he had a bright smile on his face and a smudge of glitter on his cheek.

you reached up and ran your finger over it, trying gently to remove some to no avail. “you have glitter.”

“i have glitter everywhere. i guess that’s what you get for asking one of my siblings for wrapped paper.” he removed his arms from your waist to reveal a poorly wrapped gift in purple glittery paper.

you laughed, taking it. “i’m surprised you haven’t got more of it on you.”

“oh, believe me, princess, i do.” he cringed, stepping back slightly. “happy birthday.”

you smiled up at him and opened the present, ignoring the glitter sticking to your hands and the warmth in your chest and cheeks.

he thought you looked like the sun had come down to earth.

it was a colouring book and a set of pencils. you smiled widely and flipped through the pages, revealing beautiful art. “you remembered i wanted one?”

“yeah, mostly because you kept stealing mine to colour in,” he teased. “but of course i did.”

you reached out and hugged him. “thank you, luke!”

“come on,” he pulled back and took your hand. “present isn’t done yet.”

“what have you planned?” you groaned half-heartedly as he pulled you through camp, jogging slightly to keep up with his long strides.

“don’t sound so scared, princess, it’s a good thing. i promise.”

you just sighed with a smile and let him lead you to the dock.

there was a small basket at the end of it.

you gasped excitedly. “luke, you…”

“happy birthday, y/n.” he sat down and pulled you gently down to sit next to him. he opened the the picnic basket and handed you a sandwich and a mini juice box with a bashful grin. “i would’ve sprung for coke but mr d. has a monopoly on the stuff around here.”

you laughed slightly and began eating, sitting cross-legged and looking out at the lake. the sun beat down on your back and your entire body felt warm. you suddenly weren’t sure how much of that warmth was from the sun, and how much of it was from love.

love.

whoa.

you froze with your juice box halfway to your lips.

luke looked over at you. “you okay?”

you nodded slowly, eyes wide, and set down your juice and sandwich. “i wanna swim.”

he frowned. “okay? now?”

you nodded and stood up. you were wearing your new bikini anyway, so you just pulled your shirt over your head and dropped your shorts next to it. “you coming?”

his eyes were slightly wide, but he nodded and stood up, setting his food down too and removing his over clothes.

you sat down on the dock and slid into the water. it was cold, but more refreshing than shocking. you swam out a few paces as luke jumped in directly, the splash hitting you.

“luke!” you gasped as he surfaced.

he just laughed. “sorry, princess. you’re in the water anyway.”

you pouted at him, but couldn’t stay mad, instead, you watched him as he floated a few feet from you.

he looked confused. “are you okay? was it the sandwich?”

you shook your head. “the sandwich was fine. i’m just…” you pursed your lips and swam slightly closer. “was it me?”

he frowned even deeper. “was what you?”

“when i asked you the other day, you said you were in love with someone. was it me?”

you felt a little bad for putting him on the spot as he looked away, abashed, but when he looked back at you, eyes strong and jaw set, and said, “yes,” you didn’t regret a thing.

“why?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

“why not?” he shrugged. “why does the sun shine? why does the wind blow? just because that’s the way things are. and i guess… yeah, me being in love with you is the way it is.”

you were silent for a moment, a small smile on your face. “well, that’s good then. i’m not sure how long this has actually been a thing, luke castellan, but i guess that me being in love with you is also… just the way it is.”

he swam slightly closer, a smile breaking across his face. gentle, kind, pretty. “yeah?”

“yeah, pretty boy. now kiss me. it’s my birthday, after all.”

“yes ma’am,” he grinned. one of his hands slid around your waist, warm as ever in the cold water, and he pulled you closer to him. he savoured the moment for a beat, just studying your face, memorising the look in your eyes, the sun on your skin and the soft smile on your lips. then he pressed his lips to yours.

you finally understood what people meant when they said ‘fireworks’. they were right. kissing luke was like playing with fire or dancing in the rain, or watching christmas lights twinkle. it was exhilarating, sweet and safe all at the same time; pure and honest love. and he was one damn good kisser.

when he pulled away you were out of breath, treading water still. you swam backwards, pulling him with you by the hand on the back of his neck until you were in the cool shade of the dock, using it to keep you afloat. it was much colder under there, but at least now you had him to keep you warm.

#luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo x reader #pjo #charlie bushnell #luke castellan x you

[harmoonix]

💤 Dreamy Astrology Observations 💤

💤 Neptune aspecting Venus can daydream about their crushes/lovers & and having scenarios in their head about them

💤 Neptune aspecting the Midheaven can inspire and influence other people, for example being some sort of influencer

💤 Neptune in the 5H/7H can fantasize about a happy life, maybe with children/spouse and overall happiness if you know in tarot terms this energy can symbolize 10 of cups

💤 Neptune aspecting Uranus, people find you different and unique, some sort of like "I never met a personlike you before but I like it"

💤 Venus in Aquarius or at 11°. 23° degrees can have a large group of friends, they can be seen as an example for others when it comes to friendship

💤 Heavy Moon aspects in your chart can make you a very dreamy/soft/kind person, you can radiate positive vibes

💤 Sun in the 8th/12th houses give the "mystic" one vibes, your subconscious is very powerful and you can often find yourself being spiritual

💤 Sun in Pisces Degrees 12°. 24° can have such mesmerizing tired eyes you'll ever see, their eyes radiate ocean waves

💤 Neptune aspecting the Ascendant especially conjunction can make the native to lose the connection with reality sometimes. They can often find themselves dreaming about sort of situations

💤 Chiron aspecting Neptune natives can be surrounded by people who don't believe in their dreams or desires, who think their dreams will never be fulfilled, is a very powerful placement for those who believe in themselves

💤 Fire Venus or Moon can make you to be attracted into passionate music/art/songs, often listening to dirty songs

💤 Capricorn/Virgo and Taurus Suns can be the most practical people in the room, they always have a solution and a back up plan for everything

💤 A REMINDER that the moon phase of your moon sign can influence it A LOT, for example a Leo Moon born under the 1st quarter will be very different from a Leo Moon born under the 3rd or last quarter (if that makes sense)

💤 Virgo Sun/Moon/Rising can be the biggest nutritionist ever. They'll have a naturist remedy for everything

💤 Sagittarius Venus Moon or those planets in the 9H, those placements are giving Tarzan!! someone very curious, wild, fierce, and charming!! They get along with lots of people

💤 Sun/Moon or Mars in the 6H need to do something productive or they can fall under a depression state and feel bad, you need activities!!

💤 Mars/Pluto/Saturn or Lilith in the 4H, if you have a disturbing family life, it will get better when you'll move out and have your own house

💤 Libra Taurus and Capricorn IC/4H can find themselves decorating their stuff with lots of vintage stuff

💤 If you have Venus in Capricorn or in the 10H and all your relationships failed, is an indicator that you need higher standards

💤 Venus in Sagittarius or 9H native is searching for someone they can evolve amd grow up together with, they are like a global mix of fun, culture, love and music

💤 Sagittarius Risings have their 4H in Pisces, they can decorate their house/home with a deep spiritual things like dreamcatchers, crystals, etc

💤 Never make fun of someone's culture or background especially if they have Sag in their big 3 or big 6 because you gonna recieve the same energy back to you

💤 Mercury or Venus in Pisces, omg I wish I had these placements instead of Scorpio...Lets trade...These placements are mesmerizing to have, especially at communicating and sharing their love

💤 Saturn/Venus and sometimes Moon in the 12th house can indicate that you're going to marry a bit later than others

💤 Saturn in the 10H!! This placement is extremely powerful. If someone does you dirty the karma comes back and exposes the person who did you wrong to the PUBLIC/people and you can find people standing up for you after someone did you dirty

💤 Lilith in Water Signs can have issues or troubles with acknowledging their feelings, because the water element rules over the feelings and Lilith indicates a wound there

💤 Capricorn Risings even if they are mature and solide, they most times wish for a sentimental and kind partner due to their 7H in Cancer

💤 Mercury in the 11H natives don't like to talk for nothing, if you bring a conversation with them make sure to finish it

💤 Venus in Leo Degrees 5°, 17°, 29° may take love to another level, you have to focus all of your attention on them if you want to attract them

💤 Ascendant in Gemini Degrees 3°, 15°, 27° degrees natives have an extremely catchy voice, is that voice that you'll remember ages and ages and especially their jokes as well

💤 If you have your IC in the 5th house you were probably raised in household with a lot of music/fun/creativity, i have this placement and my family is crazy when it comes to music style

💤If you have an Air Moon could probably be a little more logical than sentimental, like logic over feelings

💤 Sagittarius/Libra combo placements in a chart can make someone very artistic, passionate, carefree. They can aslo have a beautiful writing style

💤 Gemini/Aquarius Mercury/Moon/Venus can be that one person who has an digital diary instead of the standard book diary. They prefer the technology

💤 Mars in Pisces Degrees 12°. 24° may like to combine love/sex with art, for example painting pictures of naked statues, intense love paintings

💤 Scorpio Sun/Moon/Rising has an intense charisma, they are like a magnet, attracting all kids of people

💤 Aries Sun/Mars/Venus will be that one person who is like "what they did to you👺 let me teach them a lesson"

💤 Cancer Juno/Juno in the 4H natives are attracted to people who remind those natives about their home/who feel safe around them

💤 Taurus Juno or Juno in the 2H. If you cook or make a good dinner for them you can wake up the next day with a proposing ring 💍, these natives may love to cook for their spouses

💤 Water and Earth Signs in your 2H can be very picky with the food!!

💤 North Node in the 4H is not always about focusing on your home life and about creating your home life, you know to be like Kris Jenner a big fondator

💤 An empty 5H can indicate not wanting kids. I have this as well and I don't want kids at all!!

💤 Chiron in Leo natives should never feel embarrassed about themselves, this placement is about accepting your dark side and being yourself

💤 Saturn/Pluto in the 12H may have a harder time with sleeping the same for Scorpio or Capricorn in the 12H

💤 When Virgo or Gemini placements are under stress they can often talk a lot as a mechanism to keep themselves chill/calm

💤 You may share the same type of humor with people who have their Mercury in the same sign as yours

💤 Moon in 6th house natives. The Moon will give you servitude attitude and will help others without having any selfish motive, they are truly kind

💤 Chiron in the 5H natives may act childish when they feel comfortable or safe because that's what their inner child feels as well

💤 Juno in Leo natives will love a spouse who has a funny/creative way of seeing life, don't make these natives feel depressed because you'll regret it

💤 Cancer Scorpio or Pisces in the 6H natives share a similar nurturing style and they can often nurture others with their energy

💤 Capricorn Placements are often labelled as being "workaholics" because of their strong ambition to never give up ans to finish their thing

💤🌊 Since Pisces Season started today, I wanted to post this a memento to it🌊💤

Hope you all have good a start of the week!☀️🌊

And happy Pisces Season!!🌊☀️♥️

Harmoonix ☀️🌊☀️

#astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #placements #astro notes #birth chart #astro community #ascendant #pisces #pisces placements #pisces season #dreamy #blue #blue aesthetic #water #water aesthetic #horoscope #venus #astronote #astro #astro seek #astro com #astro.com #love astrology #harmoonix #asteroids #moon phases

[bewby]

everyday literally everydayyyy i think about how the way i experience the world will never be as good as i thought it would be. and when i think back to things being "nice" it's nostalgia tricking me 🤣🤣 like it will never actually be good and feel as amazing as i fantasize about it makes me so sad. nothing will ever be as exciting as these made up feelings i have attached to memories. or. media. the real world is literally hell and everyone tells you to just keep going . and i get it. but. why can't things actually feel like they do when i think back to them. in my mind. like all warm and fuzzy . ok whatever i'm gonna eat

#the only times i genuinely felt like i was in a fucking fairytale was when i met my ex kfjxjjj #like i always say this but when we first met it literally was only like 2 hours and we just walked around my city and that was still #the best day of my entire life . bfbdbdbhsshgghkr #in that time. the world Didn't exist to me And when i first saw him it was like a glitch happened mid air like it was. WOW #being in love really is the best thing ever but i wish i could feel that happy outside of romantic relationships too. god this is another #issue i have. like i never find that kind of happiness in friendships #and i mean it makes sense that romance makes you feel More. but. i want to be able to have proper friendships and feel happy in them too #AUGHHHGH maybe one day #i just need people who understand how i can get distanr and easily exhausted bdjdvsvshsv

[soapsbaby]

Friends with Benefits

Kinktober IV

Summary: How a friends with benefits relationship would go with them. Characters: Simon “Ghost” Riley, Johnny “Soap” Mactavish, Kyle “Gaz” Garrick, John Price, König, Alejandro Vargas, Rudy Vargas, Valeria Garza, all x gn!reader Rating: NSFW (mdni) Word Count: 1200ish

Ghost

In the beginning it was a lot more “benefits” than it was “friends”. He had a lot of issues to let you in any further than just sleeping with you. 

You were an outlet for frustration and he was entirely honest about that and made sure you didn't feel used or led on.

It took a while but eventually you were able to spend the night, he started calling you when he needed company and eventually he even opened up to you a little and you finally got to understand why he acts the way he does.

He’s a very attentive lover and now that he has a closer bond with you, also an incredible friend. He is always there to listen, even if he often doesn’t know what advice to give you.

Often calls you over late at night or right after returning from missions, just needing a way to blow off steam. He tends to be a little rough with you, but only with your consent.

He isn’t interested in any relationship or attachments so he is quite happy with your arrangement. 

Soap

You and Johnny had been friends for super long before you eventually got closer to him. It was just supposed to be a sleepover so you could binge some horror movies together, but at some point his hand had ended up on your thighs, then you had ended up in his lap and the moment you started kissing you both knew it was over. 

Except for having sex not much has changed between the two of you, most of your hookups still happen during movie nights or other friendship hangouts that you would have had before starting to sleep together.

It’s becoming a problem when people start asking questions since neither of you pay any attention to the movies you’re supposed to be watching. “Oh, you watched (...) on the weekend, right?? How was it?” “Uh… Good… I think.” 

You are so casual and comfortable with each other that there was never really a phase of awkwardness between you two, it just felt natural. 

He honestly doesn't care if anyone finds out, is the type to pull you into a supply closet for a quickie.

Price

You are both very happy with the arrangement, even though except for missing full commitment you are basically in a relationship. 

He will always make sure you know you are taken care of and that you know how much he appreciates you, take you out for dinner or cook for you, get you gifts. 

Compared to the others, your relationship is a little more mature and less impulsive, you had been friends for a long while, tried to date but didn’t quite work out. Still, you both had to admit you enjoyed having sex with one another, so you just decided to go back to that part. 

He’ll check in with you often to make sure you are still happy with the situation and it is understood that if either of you ever find a serious relationship you’ll have to stop.

He likes to make sure he has his time with you, whenever you have a "date" he wants to have the whole day off.

Gaz

It was supposed to be just a friends with benefits situation but failed almost immediately. You both tried so hard to keep it casual but it was a lost cause from the first time. 

Gaz used to have hookups quite often when off duty, but now that he has you, he doesn’t really want or need that anymore. He doesn’t want to admit it to himself, let alone you, but he’s kind of obsessed with you.

At this point you are spending so much time at each other’s places that you might as well move in, but both of you are afraid to suggest taking the next step because that is not what we agreed on.

He is so sweet, always taking his time with you, making sure you are the priority and that you feel well taken care of.

So good at giving oral.

König

You’re one of the few people from his past that he is still in contact with and though you don’t get to see him often, it’s a good time whenever you do.

It’s good for him to have someone from his childhood that can give him a reality check and make sure he doesn’t forget where he came from when he needs it.

He isn’t the best at communicating, which your situation requires a lot of, so you run into problems at times. You don’t see each other often, most of the time there is a lot of distance dividing you, plus the time zones, so there is a lot to be navigated.

He likes and appreciates you a lot though, so you make it work somehow.

Most of the time he is super gentle with you and will do whatever it takes to make sure you finish first, however there have been situations where he just needed to use you to get some negative emotions out of his system after a failed mission.

Alejandro 

He always said he wasn’t one for casual sex, that he was made for relationships, but he had to learn that that just isn’t fully true. Once you and him started sleeping together he had to realize how convenient it was to have someone to help him have his needs met without the responsibilities that come with actual relationships.

He’s a great lover, extremely attentive, very loving, and skillful at what he does. He’d never be selfish and only get himself off.

Rudy

You have been friends with benefits for as long as you can remember, so the communication between the two of you is great since you just know each other so well.

It started when you were joking around with him after a bad date how dating around wasn't worth it just to have mediocre sex with people you barey liked and he got competetive about it.

"Bet I could do better." (He in fact could and did do better)

You don’t sleep with each other that often, just once every few months when you both feel like it. Most of the time when you hang out, things stay strictly platonic, that is just the way things work out for you.

Valeria

She doesn’t have many friends that she can actually trust, so she was terrified to push your relationship any further than a friendship. She didn’t want to risk losing you, one of the few people who knew her before the army, before the cartel. 

Still, one thing led to another and she’d never want to go back to before. She knows you might not fully support her work in the cartel, but that you still feel nothing but loyalty for her.

She doesn’t have time for an actual relationship and also wouldn’t want to put someone in danger of getting caught up in the crossfire of cartel dealings, so you being fairly low-commitment for her is ideal.

She can be a bit of a selfish lover, but you adore pleasuring her, so it all works out in the end.

#call of duty imagine #call of duty x reader #ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #soap x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #könig x reader #konig x reader #gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #cod fanfic #cod headcanon #ari writes #alejandro vargas x reader #valeria garza x reader #rudy parras x reader #i think i might just do kinktober like this it is much more fun than actual fic writing #I will probably post the fics at some point though #most of them i've started writing already anyways so it'd be a waste otherwise #sorry for the chaos :((

[ash-says]

Things to be aware of as a Hopeless Romantic:

We all have been there daydreaming about the perfect man, the perfect life, the perfect whatever,etc. Still life is not full of roses and thorns are inevitable.

So here are some aspects to look out for according to me so that you won't fall in the delulu is the only solulu trap.

Remember if you follow me, we don't do regrets here. We accept, take accountability and move on. We don't soak ourselves in problems. We solve them effectively.

1) Drop those rose-colored glasses. Crush them under your feet and now look at the world again. Learn to accept reality. It is what it is. Not what you make it out to be. Learn to become an observer of your life from time to time. It will give you the real picture.

2) Potential is useless if you are not leveraging it. It's a trap both for yourself and others. You see potential in him of changing and being a good guy?? Girl, he *IS* not a good guy. It's not your job to raise a man. It's embarrassing. Stop babysitting grown men.

3) Standards are important but ensure they are not rooted in fantasy. Let's be honest finding a man who is rich, dark, tall, sexy and talks in the way you read in your romance novels is difficult. I am not saying it's impossible but don't be too rigid. All I will say is make sure you are also on the level where if you come across such a man he should be ready to date you.

4) Men view sex differently than us women. I know many of you will get triggered after reading this but the majority of men really view women as sex dolls. Blame the porn industry maybe. Good men exist but not every other man who talks sweetly is good.

5) A person in your life treats you nicely. Always talk sweetly, tells you that you matter to them but their actions don't match it. Chances are you are being breadcrumbed. Plans being cancelled? Messages being unseen? But when confronted all you get is,"Sorry love, I was busy. I was going to do it. You matter a lot,etc etc." Breadcrumbing. Be smart it can happen even in friendships too. I understand people get busier with time and things do happen. Use your discernment to see who really is busy and who is faking to be busy.

6) That uncle was so kind to me. He talked to me sweetly and always tried to help me out. Now, that's really sweet of him. Next he calls you home to help out with the household chores and he is alone at home because his wife is out of town for some work. Would you go and help? Yes. Will you go alone? No. That's unsafe.

No matter how much a gentleman a man appears to be you are not allowed to be in a situation where he could potentially take advantage of you. You always bring along a friend or deny it. I know it's wrong to not help someone but at your own risk. No. Never. It's common knowledge in our society.

7) Dreaming of a Prince Charming to whisk you away from all your troubles??? Dream on. The idea that a soulmate or one person will magically solve all our issues is dumb. We as human beings add to each other's happiness rather than becoming the core of it.

8) One of the biggest mistakes I have seen girls around me make is of being fully invested in a relationship to the point one small fight makes them depressed. That's codependency. It's unhealthy.

9) Never make your relationship your identity. You should always have a separate identity out of it. Stop curating yourself for your partners. Morphing yourself according to their likes and dislikes. That's one way ticket to an identity crisis after breakup. Compromises are essential but changing your core self??? Crazy shit.

10) Your relationship should not be the reason for your downfall. It happens especially with my intense girlies we invest so much of ourselves in the relationship to the point it becomes our focal point and when it faces upheavals we are devastated. The mental distress starts flowing in other areas of your life and suddenly your grades are falling, your career seems unstable, etc. Develop the emotional strength to compartmentalize your emotions and not allow them to overflow in other areas and affect them.

Imagination is fertile but being delusional is being stuck in a swamp.

That's all for today's show on ash-says. Stay tuned for more illegal tricks and explosive opinions.

#gaslight gatekeep girlboss #girlblogging #glow up #it girl #self care #that girl #dark feminine energy #self love #becoming that girl #becoming her #that girl aesthetic #it girl aesthetic #dream girl aesthetic #dream girl #pink pilates girl #pink pilates princess #coquette #ash-says #motivation #feminine energy #femme fatale vibes #femme fatale #thewizardliz #wonyoungism #wellness #healing #self development #self help #self reflection #level up journey

[cryinginmyroomsposts]

Svt as specific tropes cuz I am in a writer's block

a/n: these are purely personal opinions/ imagines. not proofread!

Scoups: enemies to lovers (I'm talking dagger to the throat enemies to "who hurt you" pipeline. scoups and his competitive petty ass would be perfect with an equally competitive and hot-headed oc. I'm talking sizzling chemistry, extreme frustration to tooth-rotting fluff)

Jeonghan: Frenemies to angst to friends to lovers (light-hearted frenemies until one day Jeonghan takes the joke a little too far which leads to angst and years of no-contact. A chance encounter during lowest times leading to a soft adult friendship evolving to a soft and chaotic lovers pipeline)

Joshua: strangers to comfort person to lover (he gives me a feel-good coming of age feels so I'll take a storyline with the heartbroken or worn down oc finding comfort in Shua who could be a stranger or a kind colleague. a full "we helped heal each other" and then moving away due to circumstances only to realise that you need your comfort person)

Jun: holiday romance (nana tour Jun vibes. two strangers in a random city who decide to spend a week having the utmost fun and never meet again... but of course fate brings them together and the angst of reality to eventually finding a balance in the paradise of their holiday whirlwind and reality... it's giving romcom)

Woozi: Best Friends pining for decades (A very soulmate-ish friendship. Woozi and oc are so extremely obvious about their feelings but are oblivious to the reciprocation- it's also obvious to everyone around them. The angst of "what-ifs", and ofcourse songs written abt the feelings, to angry confessions and happy endings. this one includes a lotttt of angst and dozens of bangers mixed with peak domestic behaviour and two ppl so attuned to each other like old married couples)

Hoshi: Accidental dance partners Hoshi and oc (might sound basic but I'm a dancer and it's a very indulgent trope... so yeah! I'm thinking college team dancers in competing teams are forced to pair up for a competition. Out-of-the-world chemistry- can't keep eyes and hands off each other, late night talks, "non-date" date nights and ofc anger issues(performers, duh!). Lots of parties, angst and eventually confessing. She falls first but he falls harder)

Wonwoo: second-chance romance (I think Wonwoo, I think angst(sorry wonu) and second chance. oc and wonu having whirlwind honeymoon phase until oc pushes him away. lots and lots of angst- confused wonu not knowing how to help oc. both of them miserable without the other... until Wonwoo can't take it anymore and makes oc lean on him for support. very gray and grounded in reality romance)

Dokyeom: Small-town romance (sunshine Lee Seokmin as a charming small-town business owner helping big-city-return troubled oc deal with life and falling in love? sign me up for the hallmark movie! Seokmin and his golden best boy smile healing hearts as always)

Mingyu: Arranged Marriage Trope (once again, a very self-indulgent imagination...Oc who doesn't believe in love after a heartbreak, Mingyu who accepted his destiny and never loved anyone. A very practical arranged marriage with both consenting parties. An agreement to stay "partners" and "friends" because they "Can't force feelings". Domestic life leads them to break every rule- written and unwritten... angst rising due to pasts and insecurity... oc's fear of abandonment, Mingyu's fear of attachment... a minor separation and major realisation... their very own happy ending at last! Mingyu Best Husband Agenda forever)

Minghao: Rival Artists with secret identities dating each other (Minghao dates the pretty stranger on a dating app, agree to keep things casual but lo behold they are falling fast and hard... all is well except both have secret identities as artists who are rivals. they love each other but hate the other's alter-ego... ofc this leads to miscommunication and angst, lost ways and breakups. but this is my imagination so they end up together after everything and conquer the art world)

Seungkwan: Celebrity Fake dating trope (Seungkwan would eat that shit up! Two A-list celebs: Seungkwan and oc, who appear together in a show and fans go crazy for their chemistry but they don't pay head. oc gets caught in a false accusation, needs a distraction- agencies make oc and Seungkwan fake date... on-camera they r perfect but off-cam it's all awkward... planned appearances to becoming friends, trauma bonding... sexual tension rises, life gets complicated, lots of angst later they end up dating happily)

Vernon: Falling without meeting each other (two online friends, fake names but authentic friendship across continents fall for each other without ever meeting other. against all odds they end up seeing each other eventually and staying together... this gives me old cinema vibes but in modern times, Vernon is so Vernon that only he'd be fitting)

Dino: High school fake dating (imagine Dino as Peter Kavinsky from To All The Boys I've Loved Before... a popular softie boy agreeing to fake date the silent girl, the only twist is Dino has been in love with her since middle school, he fell first and harder- a full simp! Very romcom coded angst and happy endings ofc- i just know Dino will make a perfect romcom male lead)

#svt fic #seventeen #svt fluff #wonwoo #seungkwan #svt imagines #svtfoe #svt x reader #svt #vernon #woozi #jun svt #jun scenarios #scoups #jeonghan #cheol #choi seungcheol #yoon jeonghan #joshua hong #hoshi #svtgifs #hoshi x reader #mingyu #hoshi fluff #scoups fluff #scoups fanfic #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan fic #jeonghan fanfiction #joshua fluff

[meowzfordayz]

me too (i love you)

Rengoku Kyojuro x Reader

Word Count: ~700

CW: explicit language

“I love you,” Kyojuro declares, eyes bright as he watches you choke on your bubble tea, “Be careful!”

“Be careful?!” you sputter, in shock as you gesture wildly, “You just said-”

“That I love you,” he repeats easily, grinning now, “So please, be careful.”

Flustered, you point an accusing finger toward him, leaning determinedly over the little table between you, “Kyojuro, you can’t say stuff like that!”

“And why not?” he shoots back, vibrant and assured, “I love you, and I feel happy knowing that you know that I love you,”

“I wasn’t ready!” you protest, face hot when he leans in too, the scent of taro and sugar and someone you believed could never be yours dizzying your brain, “Since when do you love me, let alone like like me?”

“Like like?” he chuckles softly, “I have always like liked you, but today,” he pauses, expression unfamiliar and nerve wracking, more tender than you’ve ever been privy to, “Listening to you order your drink, getting to hear how specific and precise you are, experiencing your excitement when you took your first sip, feeling your shoulder bump against mine after I insisted on paying for us…” he pauses again, this time seeking your consent, wondering what he’ll find when he meets your gaze, bracing himself for disappointment, doubt, disinterest, “I realized I would love to know all of your specificities, to witness all of your joy, to touch more than our shoulders together.”

“You do know me,” you mumble, not unkindly, but decidedly overwhelmed, “You’re my best friend.”

Wincing internally, Kyojuro settles abruptly back into his chair, the cafe’s ambient music cascading through his focus as his tunnel vision widens, your body much slower to react, still leaning toward his fading, hesitant warmth.

“How about you?”

“How about me?” you squeak.

“Shall we proceed as though I declared platonic love for you, or-”

The fearful hardness in his tone finally registers, your heart aching at the thought that Kyofuckingjuro might rescind his proclamation, embarrassment sinking to your stomach as you mentally replay your reactions to his adoration.

“I love you, Kyo.”

“We are best friends,” he responds quietly, “I am grateful you love me.”

“I love love you!”

Smiling wryly, he reaches a tentative hand out, eventually patting your elbow, “I do not need any consolation. Our friendship is my dearest treasure.”

Groaning lowly, you frantically shake your head, “I told you, I wasn’t ready!”

“I understand completely, and I apologize for overstepping. I should have considered your comfortability, but instead forced the issue and-”

“RENGOKU KYOJURO, there is no issue with you loving me!!!!! I wasn’t ready as in, I’ve been in love with you, and didn’t expect you to reciprocate. Don’t you dare apologize for overstepping. I’m just in the best kind of disbelief that we’ve actually having this conversation.”

A moment of silence seeps into your trembling fingers, bubble tea long forgotten, his own fingers brushing clammy and promising across your knuckles.

“Me too.”

“That’s it?” a nervous giggle builds in your chest, “Problem solved?” dissolving into relieved laughter as his pained appearance eases, elated calm replacing the furrow of his brow, “We’re a mess!”

“It would be an honor to be a mess with you, as your best friend and your lover!”

“Does this count as our official first date?”

Pondering your question, Kyojuro takes on a mockingly serious tone, his fingers now fully interlocked with yours, “Are we going to seal it with a kiss?”

“That was incredibly cheesy of you.”

“Are we?” he persists.

Banter melting at his gentle eagerness, you nod, embarrassment no longer surfacing as you admit shyly, “Oh absolutely. I’ve practiced in my dreams.”

“You dream about me?” he grins.

“Yeah.”

“Me too,” he confesses, Me too.

—

“That bubble tea was really good.”

“And?”

“And the love confession could’ve gone smoother,” you tease, pressing a light kiss into his bicep, “Solid 6/10.”

“You said you have been in love with me… was I ever going to know?” Kyojuro quips back, fondness in his voice.

“Probably not,” you concede sheepishly.

“Surely then, the love confession deserves at least a 7/10.”

#kyojuro rengoku #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x reader #rengoku x reader #flame hashira #drabble #modern au #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting my childhood best friend a new friendship bracelet even though he has a girlfriend?

Basically my mom and her best friend got pregnant within a year of each other. As a result me and Dylan were raised as siblings. Our families are super close, spend holidays together, we've gone on vacations together, and Dylan and I have always called each other brother and sister.

Dylan's been dating Maya for the better part of a year. Maya is nice, but clearly has some feelings on me and Dylan being as close as we are. We've both explicitly stated there have never been romantic or sexual vibes between us, and I have made the hard choice to pull away from Dylan quite a bit to give Maya more room.

(For example I stopped our weekly hang outs, only really hang out with Dylan in a group setting, we don't hang out on FT anymore, ect.)

Maya is generally polite, but there's been tension and a few pointed remarks over the months. I know the girl best friend is pretty much a pariah in boy/girl friendships, so I've tried to just be as unobtrusive and respectful as I can.

Onto the current problem: Dylan and I have always had friendship bracelets and a few matching items. For example we have matching photos and photo frames from the holiday to Greece when we were little, we both have matching hoodies from a concert we went to, and one or two other bits. Its not a lot, but I guess it would all fill a small box if you put it together.

Dylan's friendship bracelet broke last month and couldn't be fixed. He put it away in a keepsake box but was pretty bummed about no longer being able to wear it. It took the whole month of scouring secondhand sites and ebay but last week I actually found one and was able to get it for him as a replacement. I gave it to him when our families met for dinner on Tuesday and he was super happy. He put it on immediately and hasn't taken it off.

We all met as a group to hang out today and Maya seemed a little...Vaguely annoyed toward me? When you can just tell someone's got an issue with you, even if they're not outwardly acting any different.

But she came with me when I went to the bathroom (as girls do) and as we were washing our hands she told me she was really 'surprised' I got Dylan another bracelet. I wasn't really sure if she meant in general or that I was able to find the exact same one, so I asked what she meant and she said she didn't want to be 'that girlfriend' but when the bracelet broke she was internally relieved, because she thinks its kind of inappropriate that we wear matching bracelets and have a 'claim' over each other like that.

She said she's been thinking about the future a lot more recently and she doesn't want anything 'held back' or 'obstructed' by my obsession with Dylan and the 'premade family' we have.

I'll admit I got annoyed by that, and immediately asked if she'd have an issue with me if I was a guy. She said I know that's different, and then one of the other girls from the group came in to look for us because we'd been gone so long and we kind of had to put it on a shelf for the rest of the day.

She text me a bit ago saying 'think about what I said.' Internally, I want to tell her to get a grip on herself, but I also know that I'm the girl best friend, and pretty much anything I do from here on out is critical and could make me the asshole. I also didn't want to hurt her or cause problems for Dylan, I was just trying to replace part of our friendship that's always been there.

AITA for replacing it? I can't exactly stop wearing mine (he'll ask why) or tell him to stop wearing his (again, he'll ask why) but honestly I'm also unsure of what to do now. Maya's the only one who thinks us being best friends is a problem, even our families know we've always had a sibling relationship and not one that might change to romantic.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[slvttyplum]

Hello I hv a req here... Satoru being lovesick with reader who has commitment issues [ this kind of is personal haha ] they don't really commit to anything. Not even friendships. It's all just casual talks. They aren't willing to even give satoru a try... But he somehow convinces them 😋 and it wasn't easy. You write so much omg it's crazy ! Kudos to you 👏

ʚɞ overwhelming love | satoru

life wasn’t easy, especially being closed off to everyone around you. not a lot of friends and barely any experience with dating.

that was until you met satoru gojo, the man every guy wanted to be and the perfect man for every person who wanted him.

although he was attractive, you didn’t see the appeal, especially since the both of you didn’t talk that much.

just greetings here and there, nothing more and nothing less.

that was until one day he came into your office knocking with that same perfect smile plastered on his face.

“hey there, i was told to come here.” his suit perfect, and his cologne enters your nose with swiftness.

scrabbling over to your mouse as you clicked on your computer to see why he needed to come see you.

his body was leaning on your desk with his hands in his pockets as he tapped his foot, waiting, making you anxious.

“sorry, one second.” an awkward laugh slipping out of your mouth, satoru laughs back, but it sounds genuine.

“take your time.” his words make your heart beat, but they quickly disperse into nothing when you think about everyone else he smiles at and laughs at.

finally finding what it was, you slide your chair back and open your drawer, taking out a stack of papers and setting it in front of you.

“the higher-ups said to get this done by friday. i filled what i could but there’s but so much i can do.” your eyes flickering to his as he turns around lazily, filling through the papers.

his face a pinkish red as he smiles, slipping his other hand out of his pocket and flipping through the papers more.

he believes that’s the moment when he started to like you, or at least have a crush on you.

you didn’t have to help him out with a few signatures, but you did. no one else bothered to help him but you, yet you kept your distance.

why?

after a few months, the both of you grew closer, having lunch together, having inside jokes, and even occasionally going out outside of work.

yet you still had a wall up; satoru didn’t see why; he thought everything was good, and that beautiful smile of yours was always on when he was in your presence.

even though you started to like satoru, you couldn’t bring yourself to develop any more feelings.

it was a bad feeling, especially when you dwelled on it for too long, but there’s not a lot you can do about it; it’s for the best. at least that’s what you thought.

“i like you.” satoru says, holding a bouquet of flowers, with his cheeks flushed red and a tear welling in your eyes.

not because of happiness but with sadness; instead, the overwhelming feeling of dispare you felt for yourself was enough to slam the door in his face.

avoiding him like the plague for weeks on end, but he wouldn’t give up; he was consistent.

showing up to your office for any little thing, sending you gifts, writing you letters, and texting you more texts than you could read.

all that would sound overwhelming, but after a while, it made you feel at ease, like, “ah, he still likes me.”

putting all your trauma aside, bad relationships, and overwhelming feelings, you finally decide to confront this burden on your back.

finally telling satoru your unfiltered feelings and about everything that happened in the past, of course he was understanding.

kissing you and saying how he’ll never treat you like that, reassuring you over and over again.

the days that were previously cold and lonely turned into warmness that was radiated from satoru.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #gojo satoru #jjk satoru #x reader #gojou satoru x y/n #gojo fluff #jujutsu gojo #jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojo saturo #gojo x you #satorugojo

[riize119]

Soulmate! Anton⋆｡𖦹°‧⊹₊ ⋆

Soulmates work in the oddest way

• There isn't a set way to how you're supposed to find them or just know who is for you

• As far as you know, anyway

• Everyone else in your family either has the distinguishable mark on their body in the same place as their soulmate, or were given a time and place to be that suddenly appeared whenever the universe decided that they were ready

• You, on the other hand, had not even a single clue

• But you didn't mind

•You thought that it was kinda boring to just know who it is anyway

• Where was the adventure? The thrill of piecing it all together for yourself?

• Of course, there's always the problem that you get it wrong and have to try again but

• Whatever!!

• Right?

• As for Anton, he's been in shock ever since he was ten years old

• A rare soulmate story for some couples ends up being that one has known forever while the other had no idea

• In this case, it’s you having no idea.

•Anton, knowing, and being terrified to tell you for almost a decade

• It probably wouldn't have been such an issue if you two weren't best friends throughout your entire childhood

• He often doubted that you were his soulmate, only because you just seemed to show zero interest in him in t h a t way

• But you only did that to not be selfish

• You liked Anton. Actually, you loved him

• He was your closest friend and no matter what the situation was, your spirits were always bright and happy whenever you were with him

• You always heard that those kind of feelings were perpetual whenever you were with your soulmate, so you found yourself wondering if Anton could be yours

• But years have passed with no hint towards it being true, so you pushed the intruding thoughts away every time you saw him

• You were content with just being friends though

• And oddly content with not finding your soulmate if you were happy enough with the friendship and life you already had

• Which made Anton worry

• The simple solution would be to just tell you the truth

• Pros: you two are soulmates and live happily ever after

• Cons: the universe messed up and that turns out to be a big joke and it's his fault for messing things up

• Now, he knows that's elaborate, but still can't help but question why you've never asked him yet

• So here comes the help of Sohee, the "golden boy" of your trio, as you both like to say

• He always has the best advice and outlook for everyone around him, so what better thing to do than ask him about this?

• The only thing is is that he already can see that you two are meant for each other

• Neither of you had said a single thing about it, though. Not until Anton’s last thread of hope started to fray

• "So.. you've known for several years...”

• "Yes"

• “And you haven't said a single thing to them?"

• “Right"

• "Well why not?"

• "Because I don't know if they're my soulmate"

• “…”

• And Sohee just stares at him for a while before nodding his head and continued eating

• Because “how else am I supposed to help Anton if Anton won't believe first?”

• So, Sohee apologizes to the universe for interfering with the work of fate first before talking to you

• He hates seeing his friends in this position, especially if it's an issue regarding their entire life

•And he texts you randomly

• “You never talk about it, but I wanna know. Who do you have a crush on?"

• Getting the notification scares you because???

• Why would he suddenly ask you this?

• But you still reply,

• "We can't have crushes, remember?"

• In which he comes back with

• "We're only human. We have crushes, so who's yours?"

• Some time passes before you say anything, quickly becoming anxious

• You've never felt scared to talk about Anton before, so why now?

• "You can't tell Anton...”

• And you explain every bit and ounce of your feelings for him to Sohee, who is smiling so wide on the other end (as he screenshots every message and sends them to Anton in real time

• Who then proceeds to panic

• Even though it's confirmed that you definitely are his soulmate, he's scared that you'll be mad for not telling him sooner

• And also mad at the fact that Sohee told him after you asked him not to

• So the next time you see Anton, he looks almost queasy from how much he's holding in It worries you, so you just ask

• "Are you gonna be okay? You don't look well...”

• He stares back for a while, not really processing your question and almost tuning out the entire world to focus on what he had to tell you before it really made him sick

• He couldn't even hear himself when he told you, his mouth going on autopilot until he saw your reaction

• Not the reaction he was expecting though

• Seeing you smile so big and bright and then laughing at his change in expression from scared to confused still worried him, but in a different sense

• "God…..I've been waiting for you to tell me for so long!" You said, immediately going to hold both of his hands in yours

• And the shock that immediately ran through his body caused him to freeze before he could say anything to you

• The shock being that your reaction was positive after he already rehearsed your rejection

• "But…how did you already know?" he asks

• You laugh a little at how oblivious hes been all this time

• "I've always felt it. I just wanted to spare myself of embarrassment if it wasn't you and just boldly stated that it is. I should've known though...but you, on the other hand, have know this forever and still never said? Why?"

• He gets nervous again, thinking about how silly his reasoning was

• *I just didn't want it to make things awkward for us, you know?"

• You nod while smiling at him again

• "But fate makes it so that everything works in our favor. It was gonna happen sooner or later, and I guess later is now"

• Finally getting a smile out of Anton, he holds your hands tighter, swinging them a little, side to side, before asking his final question

• “I really do love you. Even before I knew we were soulmates, I liked you so much it was almost embarrassing..do you think that if fate didn't exist, we'd end up together still?"

• "I was already daydreaming about us being together before all of this happened, so of course” you tell him, making his expression brighter by the second

• "So now that it's official, we've gotta go tell Sohee thank you" he said, standing up and holding just one of you hands now to lead the way

• "..he sent you my confessions, didn't he?"

• "Let's not worry about that until another time"

#anton #riize au #riize anton #riize imagines #riize x reader #riize fluff #riize #riize soulmate au #kpop imagines #anton imagines

[rocksibblingsau]

How would Techno Branch's relationship be with Trollex, Synth, and Laguna? How would they take him being grey and his healing process?

So I actually view Trollex as being not that much older than Branch, Synth or Laguna. I see Branch and Synth as the same age (25ish as of Trollstopia) and Trollex as like, no older than 30.

Trollex is a bit of a goofy guy, but I see him as a VERY protective person, so I think he'd worry about Branch immediately. I think he'd try to be something of a mentor to Branch. Not quite a brother figure, but at times you could see their relationship like this. He looks after Branch and has made it his responsibility to make sure Branch is comfortable.

Synth's relationship with him ends up like his Trollstopia one, but it definitely struggles at first. He sees Synth as too Poppy-adjacent and like in Branch Out Of Water, Synth's idea of a good time isn't Branch. Synth sort of fails at the friendship thing at first, but with some advice from Trollex he attempts to bond with Branch the Branch way and from there Branch sees the differences in Synth's and Poppy's approaches. Synth doesn't immediately get that Branch is GREY-grey. He's never met a land-troll of any kind, so maybe they're just Like That. Once he finds out, he wants to help Branch feel comfortable. Happy can come after.

Laguna and Branch get along VERY well. They're each others go to when they want to wallflower but be sociable at raves, and they share notes relating to what they know on troll behavior. When they have issues understanding friendship/people issues they normally bounce ideas off the other. Laguna helped Branch understand that Synth genuinely wanted to be his friend and that Synth doesn't mind if you don't 'fit the mold'. She's interested in his greyness from a scientific standpoint, which sometimes caused issues when her questions would get too close to his trauma.

#sibblings qna #techno branch au #trolls branch #trolls synth #king trollex #laguna tidepool

[gillyweedgrl]

You should be watching Pit Babe! - A Brief Review

Saddens me to think how many people are missing out on a great show because they think it’s not worth more than a trash watch, if that.

I mean, realistically, is it the most amazing cinematic work of all time? No, not unless pretty-boy power bottoms with daddy issues are your thing, which in my case they are, so let's talk about Pit Babe!

Note: I've tried to keep the spoilers to a minimum, they're mainly in the tags and links so follow them at your own risk, you've been warned.

Honestly, Pit Babe is a pretty damn good show, especially if you A) pretend the Omegaverse factor doesn’t exist and take the show for what it is and B) you don't mind not knowing what's going on half the time, just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

Overall, Pit Babe has got a good production value, a slightly absurd yet entertaining plot, a great choice of cast with amazing chemistry and pretty decent acting skills amongst the mix of seasoned actors and newbies.

For a totally biased fair and balanced review: There are some details that are left vague instead of being explained in depth or at all (yet), but that’s to be expected when you adapt a novel into a movie or series. It would get boring for the audience if the pace was interrupted to explain all those little details that we’re likely to find out along the way anyways (shout out to those who've watched the latest episode; finally!).

There are also some scenes that feel like they’re not as necessary and some background/plot devices that made a little more sense in the novel but I personally don’t feel like they detract too much from my viewing experience.

Babe (played by Pavel) and Charlie (played by Pooh) as the main leads do a really good job at shouldering a large percentage of screen time. Charlie comes across as happy-go-lucky, a bit clumsy/goofy, entirely fearless and a little naive, which is mostly true, but there's clearly more to him than that. Right from the start Babe is clearly someone guarded, detirmined and skilled at what he does (racing cars and having sex) and he has a very tight cirlce of people he trusts. There's a winning combo right there, quite tsundere/sunshine from the outside but definitely more breath the surface that gets exploded as they go.

Way (played by Nut) is Babe's best friend and racing companion, they've been racing together at Team X-Hunter for years but there's clearly more than friendship on the mind for Way, though the feelings appear to be one sided.

Alan (played by Sailub) is the owner of Team X-Hunter and an all-round cool Uncle (which the whole team call's him (despite barely being in his mid 30's). He's kind but firm, he cares for his team like they’re his family and it does seem as though they’re his only family.

And the rest of the cast consists primarily of:

Team X-Hunter:

Dean (played by Lee); a junior racer with slight douche vibes

North and Sonic (played by Michael and TopTen); everyone’s babies, they’re junior racers and content creators

Jeff (played by Pon); the newest member of the team, he’s a part time mechanic and full time conspicuous

Pete (played by Ping); the money guy Alan brings on board to sponsor the team

Team Red Racing (the rival team):

Winner (played by Pop); the guy who never seems to win against Babe

Kim (played by Benz); the new racer they hired to beat Babe

Tony (played by S Vorarit); Red Racing's newest benefactor and *shock horror* Babe's former foster father (try saying that ten times fast)

Kenta (played by Garfield); Tony's right hand man

Then, there’s the 🌶🔥🤯

I, personally, enjoy a little spice/heat in my shows. It’s not necessary for every show, of course, but I do think that when it serves a purpose to the story and it’s done well then it can be quite enjoyable and this cast/production team is doing it really well.

As I said, the chemistry between the cast really is amazing (both on and off the screen, if you're interested in that kind of thing) and although the spicy scenes aren’t nearly as abundant as they are in the novel, there are some really good ones. I decided to bite the bullet and binge read the novel over the past couple of weeks, I blame @pharawee’s breakdown posts for those sleepless nights, and it was worth it for me but not necessary for watching the series.

Lastly (as if this post isn't long winded enough as it is) there are a handful of things in this series that we don't see too often in BL's and make it worth watching even more:

It's got race cars, murder attempts, mafia influence and supernatural powers (at least half the characters have one).

There's no evil ex-lover out to get revenge or get back together with one of the mains (thank the BL gods).

It's got a Soft Top/Dominant Bottom dynamic where the title character is both super masc and a pretty princess.

And we can't forget, it is technically an Omegaverse series (or rather, it's Omegaverse-lite) which none of us saw coming!

Anywho, to conclude; yes, you should be watching Pit Babe. No, you don't have to read the novel to understand what's going on because none of us understand what the hell is going on at any given time. Charlie and Babe are fucking around and finding out, the rest of us are just long for the ride, Alan and Jeff are having a whole ass rom-com-drama in the corner, the babies are making their content and having a blast and the others aren't quite on the map yet (or are they? *wink, wink*), but I sure hope they will be soon!

If you made it this far, thank you and are you okay? Do you need to have your brain checked?

#pit babe #pit babe the series #pit babe meta #watch pit babe #please #do it for my mental health #hell do it for your mental health #charlie x babe #babe x charlie #alan x jeff #pete x way #north x sonic #kenta x kim #winner x dean #this took way too long #but I kinda loved it #seriously. if you read all of that you're a legend #that was a lot. even for me

[donutz]

Hoppy Hopscotch x reader fluff alphabet[6/8]

Request(Wattpad, you know who u are), but not really one because I thought of this myself ^_^

—☆You are a smiling critter in this, if u want to know which one(but don't know what animal or insect to pick) you could start out as a sheep!

Affection(How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

— She’s very affectionate when it comes to quality time

— I've said she isn't too keen on physical touch, but she doesn't dislike it!

— She can be just fine with it, depending on the situation

— It's kind of confusing

— She can hug you a lot one day, but the next day she's barely hugging you

— She shows affection through quality time and physical affection

— She really loves spending time with people, especially you

— Whether it could be with sports, just cuddling, watching tv

— She loves anything that has to do with quality time

Best friend(How would they be as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

— She'd seem pretty bright, but she hides away her more negative feelings when it comes to friends, she even tries to hide it away from Kickin!

— I feel her and Kickin would be THE best friend duo

— You can see the times where she's visibly stressed, you can ask Hops, just expect her to deny that she stressed out

— The friendship would start with her trying to include you in a sports she was playing

— From that moment on, she always included you in stuff

Cuddles(Do they cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

— YES. SHE LOVESSS CUDDLING!! Especially while sleeping

— It helps her go to sleep, feeling more calm and falling asleep faster

— She always cuddles! When sleeping

— She started asking to cuddle when it’s bedtime, so you started doing it yourself, no questions asked

— She was a lot more happy when she realized you got the memo

— She cuddles by hugging, resting her head on your shoulder, laying on your side(or on you), putting her ear on you(?) 

— It’s her own way of cuddling I guess

Domestic(Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

— She CAN settle down

— But doesn't like it

— Like Kickin, she needs to be moving at all times(ADHD??)

— She bounces her leg whenever sitting

— Also like Kickin, she doesn’t like cooking or cleaning

— Not even if you drag her to do it, she can only find cooking a ‘fun’ experience if you're with her

— Will NEVER like cleaning

— But when she steps in a banana or something she will SCREAM.

— She is slightly crying, running to a sink or anything that can provide water to wash off the banana

— Possibly sensory issues?????

Ending(If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

— Paper. On paper.

Fiance(How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

— No

— No getting married

— Not even in the little kids way

Gentle(How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

— She’s trying

— She just gets so excited!! She can't help it

— When physically, she hugs kind of tight, and that’s how she does it naturally, so just get used to it

— Emotionally, she isn’t good at comforting, she tries to listen too

— SHE’S TRYING OKAY?!?!?

Hugs(Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

— It depends on her mood, she’ll gladly hug you one and say no thank you the next

— She can like hugs, again depending on her mood

— She wouldn’t mind hugs if she’s sad or something, actually, just hug her whenever she’s sad it makes her feel way more better

— There are days where she’ll hug you at least once a day, but sometimes she doesn’t do it at all

— And sometimes those are days where she’s sad, or just completely forgot about what hugs are

— You have to figure it out, you can’t just ask her

— It’s pretty easy to tell though, she makes it obvious with her body language

— She sits and pushes her legs to her body, hugs her legs, then lays her head down on her knees

— Or if she’s standing she kind of just keeps her head down

— Her hugs can be a squeezing sensation! ^_^

I love you(How fast do they say the L-word?)

— She can barely even say the full thing

— She stutters it out a lot, barely is even able to say it quickly

— There’ll be very rare times where she just says it, without even knowing, then she realizes what she’s said

— After realization, she puts her head in her hands and just stays there like that for a few seconds

Jealousy(How jealous do they get? What do they do when they're jealous?)

— She can get very jealous, depending on the person, also because bunnies can get pretty envious

— She’ll never get jealous when you're around Kickin, that's her best buddy! He wouldn't do that to her!

— There is no … Right?

— Kickin wouldn't do that y'all.

— When she's jealous, she takes away from the person, and doesn't explain why she did it

— You can get really confused from this

Kisses(What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

— She doesn't really do kisses

— Yuck

— She did it one time, just to test out if she actually likes it

— She doesn't

— If you're doing it, then yea, it's okay… I guess

— Uhm, a cheek kiss is okay…? Both giving and receiving

— If you gave a little smooch on her ear then it'll twitch and she gets all shy, just might run away

Little ones(How are they around children?)

— Not the process of having kids!

— But some kids don't like how loud she can be

— Or how persistent she can be

— Thankfully, some kids ACTUALLY think and realize that she just doesn't want them to give up, to stay confident

— Don't look at your feet, none of that matters.

Morning(How are mornings spent with them?)

— She always tries to sleep in, but you end up gently waking her

— Isn’t a morning person

— She usually whines about getting up, but sometimes she just says, “Okay…” And slowly wakes up

— A way to convince her is rubbing the middle parts of her nose, bunnies like it, so she likes it(because she’s a bunny)

— When you do that she always opens her eyes really fast

— “I’m awake. Give me more.”

Night(How are nights spent with them?)

— She can get really tired, SOMEHOW, SOME WAY, she can still stay up

— But all of that doesn’t matter when you’re hugging her so she can sleep

— She actually— sometimes kicks you in your sleep…

— You haven’t told her about it at all, so she doesn’t know

 — Anyways back to the cuddling, just cradle her for a few minutes and she’s out cold

Open(When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

— With the best friend thing, I’ve said it before but I’ll evaluate on that

— She doesn’t open up when you’re best friends with her, especially if it’s about your friendship

— She doesn’t want to ruin it

— She’d start opening up after a few years of being friends, or if you’re with her, she’ll do it after a few months

— She kinda just spills it out, without realizing it

— It can be a lot to handle, you can ask her to slow down

— Especially when she starts stuttering a lot, just go ahead and stop her for a second, calm her down with a few hugs, then she can explain again

Patience(How easily angered are they?)

— She’s the type to get up from her seat on the couch, throw a punch to the air just because her team lost

— She can get very angry, when it comes to you?

— No, not really

Quizzes(How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

— For a bunny, she doesn’t have really good memory

— She’ll remember the important things, but your favorite color, blanket or somethin, she won’t remember that

— You could mention your favorite cookie, she might remember that because she likes cookies, but your favorite color being pink? (If it is) Yeah she’s not remembering that

— If you decorated your home(or bed) with pink, maybe she’ll get it

— But stuff like your birthday, your age, stuff like that she can remember

Remember(What is their favorite moment in the relationship?)

— When you finally jumped to the moon!

Security(How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

— She is pretty protective, but in fights

— Or like when she can tell someone’s trying to threaten you

— She’d yell out stuff and put herself in front of you, laying her arms out ‘n stuff

— She can handle herself! She says, but wouldn’t mind you protecting her at all

Try(How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

— As much as she can put, she also tries to make it seem like she did

— ‘Dates’? She doesn’t really do those, if so, it has to be watching a movie or something

— No, not sitting at a table just talking. Gross!

— Anniversaries? She forgot.

— “Oh yeah, it’s our anniversary isn’t it?”

— “IT IS?!?! I MEAN UH— Yeah I knew that.”

— She isn’t good on giving gifts

— “What to give your part— that’s not how you spell it.. Your partner as a gift…”

— “Roses? That’s boring. Their favorite things? Uhm…”

— Everyday tasks like cleaning? EWWWW!!!!!

Ugly(What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

— She isn’t a morning person, she’d wake up late purposefully if she wanted to

— She can sound angry, but isn’t, just persistent

Vanity(How concerned are they with their looks?)

— As long as she’s green it’s fine!

Whole(Would they feel incomplete without you?)

— Yep!

— She can feel a (mental) hole in her heart

Xtra(A random headcanon for them.)

— She’s neurodivergent. Like Kickin!

— I feel that she’s really similar to Kickin, in many ways

Yuck(What are some things they wouldn't like, either in general or in a partner?)

— Nothing

Zzz(What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

— Needing to cuddle with you to go to sleep at the right time

— She can and will stay up if she has to

#poppy playtime #poppy playtime x reader #smiling critters #gender neutral #gender neutral reader #gn reader #hoppy hopscotch x reader #hoppy hopscotch #poppy playtime hoppy #hoppy hopscotch x reader fluff alphabet

[aleksanderscult]

Analyzing "Demon in the Wood" (book) - Part 5

(Part 1, part 2, part 3 and part 4)

(TW: self-harm!, suicide!)

Did you think I had forgotten about this meta?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

I was just dealing with a small health issue and before that I didn't have the motivation.

But now my meta-analyzing-self has returned with the fifth and last part of the book.

This is the passage from the book that actually made me think "What if Aleksander himself started sleeping less and less as an adult?". He "adopted" so many things from Baghra. It's possible that he did this too. Sleeping very few hours at night and always ready to leap at the first sign of danger.

Also, not Eryk not wanting to get smacked from his mom if she catches him. 😭

“It’s not enough.” His voice made me jump. The Darkling emerged from the shadows onto the lamplit path.

He really can startle people with his silent movements.

And the fact that he has been trained by hunters!

So he has learned from hunters, seers, Kings, Saints. Through all these four hundred years he gained an enormous amount of knowledge. (I would honestly sit and listen to his experiences for free)

HE'S TOO CUTE I JUST--

He really preferred to get interrogated by his mother for his wet clothes than get naked in front of a girl. 😭🫶

We went from this "He felt too shy to remove everything."

To this "His hand slid down to my hip. I felt a little trill of panic as my skirt slid higher and his fingers closed on my bare thigh."

They grow up so fast. 🥹🥹

It's that beautiful realization that he acts like a kid that makes me happy. All giggling and smiling while playing and swimming. This is the life he was supposed to live and he knows it.

He's so happy and hopeful that he starts making plans! 😭

He just wants to stay somewhere.

The Darkling never hated the otkazat'sya. It wasn't hate he felt but (overtime) he just only came to know their nature.

Eryk really liked Sylvi and thought her a good company to have her around.

He was aware of the way men looked at his mother.

I'm sorry but I find this line kind of awkward. It may only be just me. But little Aleksander seeing men giving lustful looks to Baghra is a little awkward. Like, man, not in front of her son. 😭

It was one more weapon in her arsenal.

Actually an anon once sent me an ask saying that the Darkling was promiscuous on his earlier days out of his need for touch and to gain information.

At that time I said that I doubted it since he had other means to gain information (through his spies, his natural charisma etc.) but @stromuprisahat discussed this in the comments and now I agree with her that Aleksander would sleep with someone to gain information. And, in the end, it was this line that fully convinced me. Just like I've said previously, Aleksander mimics his mother in almost everything. He just copies her behavior and patterns. And that's one more pattern that he must have copied. If he didn't have any other choice and was desperate (also it would depend on the person he had in front of him) Aleksander would go in "flirt mode" to get what he wants. Seduction was one weapon out of the hundreds in his arsenal, ready to be used if necessary.

Well hello socially awkward Aleksander.

That might be my hot take for him I think. Aleksander Morozova was actually socially awkward in sensitive matters (this moment right here, revealing to Ulla that they're siblings, his first kiss with Alina).

He was never raised in a stable home, never had healthy friendships and was raised by his mother very strictly and to value power over love. So whatever compassion he had as a person, he had it out of his own character. He was born with it and not nurtured to feel it or have it.

He doesn't know if this question about her mother is appropriate because he normally doesn't have conversations with peers and hasn't learned to.

It's a very sad but true fact about his character.

Eryk: "Thanks mom for nothing I guess".

I don't think people realize how cut off Aleksander was from literally everyone. And it was Baghra that cut him off. Not one single word about his father like she created him by herself or something.

(Now I also remembered how Alina was the only other person Aleksander could bond and be with since she was immortal too but Baghra took that from him as well. That woman really said "You'll have no one but me")

now I'm angry

He really really tries.

I've analyzed this moment a bit here but basically Aleksander was very awkward with others showing a vulnerable side. He isn't used to being close with others since he constantly travels, so here he does his best to comfort Annika as she lays bare her thoughts and feelings. He wants to let her know that her father didn't fail but did his best to protect his remaining family.

Hell nah!! 😭😭

Not my boy being protective over his new friend 😭😭

He only knows her for a few hours and he feels already close to her.

This shatters my heart because he doesn't want to believe the truth. He doesn't want to face it in the beginning. He's like "Oh. Maybe we're playing". He doesn't want to know that his friend has turned against him.

*tears up*

Can you hear me crying in the background? 🙂

He was so ready to protect her against a boy taller and stronger than him. Because they're friends. Friends are supposed to stick together.

*I'm ready to cry*

He's still in denial. 😭

And seeing the difference between this young Aleksander to his older version. The young one being naive, innocent and weak because he lets his emotions get the better of him. While the older one never begged for anything (at least directly), shed that side of him and still died because he still wanted things.

THE STRATEGIC BABY GRISHA IS HERE!!

He cleared his head and started thinking of ways to get out. And what better way of escaping than making Annika and Lev fight each other?

I personally think he said that line for two reasons:

He wanted Lev to know what he is in order to make him come over, break the ice and even stop Annika so he could buy himself some time and escape.

It's very interesting that he said "you won't be able to push her or her sister around anymore". He could have said "When Annika wears my bone she'll be more powerful than you" but he brought up Annika's vulnerable position and that shows that he understands why Annika does this.

But still he won't sit and let her finish the job.

His determination is the one quality that admire in him the most.

Take this moment for example. Someone just hit his head with a rock and he focuses on staying awake and alive. He doesn't allow his own body to take him down.

And here the same thing happens:

He's ready to vomit and pass out but he just forces his body to do more, to escape and survive. He never lets anything deter him from what he wants. And apparently it was Baghra that made him this way too:

She nurtured his strong will and over the years he became a driven, focused and determined person. And it were these qualities that kept him alive all those centuries.

When Alina left him behind on the Fold he survived and kept going.

When Sturmhond left him with a broken ship, a wounded arm and in the middle of nowhere, he survived and kept going.

When Alina betrayed him and brought a building down on his face, he survived, took the throne and rose again.

When his mother committed suicide, he cleared his head and continued his war.

When he came back from the dead, he still continued the march towards his ambition.

Literally nothing could stop him. Even "when he wasn't so sure he wanted to go on" he put his one foot in front of the other and set his eyes towards his dream. Whether that was to provide the Grisha a safe home, or the Ravkans a safe country or himself a companion to have. Or all of it together.

It was enough to make him less a boy than a prize.

A sad existence to live. Especially in your childhood. Your own people seeing you as a trophy to have, to wear and use than a human with a life of his own.

He revealed his gift to Annika when he showed kindness to her and now he pays the price.

His relationship with his mother is one of the most (if not the most) pivotal aspects of his character. Her words and teachings have been implanted deep inside him and can hear her often in his mind (just like he did in RoW).

Did he also hear her voice whenever he was close to dying in his adulthood?

He lashed out of fury, desperation and sadness for everything that happened that day. Just when he thought he had it all, fate came and took them out of his hands along with his hope.

Let me make a mark on this world before I leave it.

He succeeded in that. The Little Palace is the greatest proof and people talked about him long after he was gone (and they'll continue to do so).

As a child he saw how Grisha came and went from this world without "touching" anything. He didn't want the same thing to happen to him. He wanted to make something.

(Also the fact that he dropped that iconic, serious line at the age of thirteen. The Darkling at thirteen "I want to make something grand before I die". Me at thirteen: *watching Shakira clips and failing school like nobody's business* 😭😭)

I don't think most of us understand that Aleksander literally self-harmed himself to survive and save his mother's life as well. Used his own power against him to make sure that they won't be burned alive for what he did.

For the Ulle to be so sure that nothing would happen at their camp makes me think that they were being established successfully there for a long time. But that surety and protection faded because of his own people who are so desperate to gain power in order to survive. It's not a matter of selfishness. I don't see it that way. But it's a matter of survival especially since the Grisha are a group of persecuted people that are hunted down for their powers, feared and shunned.

Whether you believe it or not, I've seen people say that Aleksander didn't regret the fact that he was responsible for the burning of that village.

*screaming in frustration*

So. I'll repeat that it wasn't an act of selfishness but a matter of survival. It's not a black and white situation. If Aleksander had said the truth he would be executed alongside his mother for what he did. And the other Grisha wouldn't hesitate to do it since they already feared Baghra. And what people fear, they destroy.

Aleksander opted to cut his leg deep with his own powers, lose unconsciousness and tell a fake story to save his mother and leave from that settlement in one piece. But he didn't take pleasure from it. He wasn't glad when Lev and Annika died and felt sorry for their parents and their reaction. And now he feels sorry for the burning of the village. He knew they were innocent and he supposed they were going to interrogate them or something. But kill all of them? That he neither expected or wanted.

Look. I think Baghra loved her son. But let's be honest. If he wasn't so powerful, if he wasn't immortal he would cast him away the same way she did with his siblings. Sooo....yeah. It's a toxic kind of love. She loves him for what he can offer her (companionship mostly) so it's not an unconditional love. She mostly wanted to keep him safe because, if he died, she would be left with no one.

Bardugo in a podcast called her "a horrible, horrible mother" and she is. But I still find her a fascinating character that I can't get enough of for some reason. I don't like her but I find her interesting.

Honestly, me neither. Annika was not my favorite character in this story but I don't hate her for trying to kill him. She wanted to protect her family and their position in the camp. It's a bleak world for the Grisha and they have to "eat" each other to survive.

Aleksander really said: "I will make my people matter. I'll make them touch this world and make themselves known. We will be seen".

All the Grisha characters that were trained in the Little Palace owe their reputation to the Darkling. Alina would never know who she was and, even if she did, she would waste because she would be unable to use her powers without someone to guide her. Zoya would never achieve that reputation.

Grisha would just continue to live in caves and hidden establishments. Afraid to go out and show their powers to strangers.

By S&B the Grisha were still despised but there was a minority that held them in awe. But that did nothing to change the situation. Now they are seen but used by the Crown. It was the only place they could have in the kingdom.

It rose from the trees surrounding it like something carved from an enchanted forest, a cluster of dark wood walls and golden domes. As we drew closer, I saw that every inch of it was covered in intricate carvings of birds and flowers, twisting vines, and magical beasts.

“Welcome to the Little Palace,” said the Darkling.

He did it. The crazy son of a bitch did it. 🥹🥹

He managed to create a safe home for them. Made sure for them to be surrounded by other people like them, sitting in front of a warm hearth, in unity not in conflict with each other. Somewhere to rest their heads under the gorgeous carvings of vines and birds. A place to practice their powers freely and eat luxuriously. Somewhere to come back to, like all of us do when we want to go home. Somewhere to belong and somewhere to stay.

(fuck you Tolya for what you said in that duology. Fuck you and everyone who talks shit about Aleksander's greatest accomplishment)

That was the end of the book and I absolutely loved that story. I need 20 more novellas like this from the perspective of the Darkling from his earlier adventures. I'll analyze the Graphic Novel next.

#I've missed analyzing SO MUCH #anyway hope you enjoyed this part #the darkling #pro darkling #aleksander morozova #pro aleksander morozova #demon in the wood #demon in the wood meta #meta #shadow and bone #grishaverse #baghra morozova #annika

[stonemags]

SUGAR BABY AU

Ch.4 Leeway

Characters in this series: Reader, Wanda Maximoff, Natasha Romanoff, Carol Danvers, Darcy Lewis, Maria Hill, Kate Bishop, Pepper Potts, Valkyrie, Shuri

Summary: As a good friend you are responsible for people closest to you, right? But can you handle it all at once? For now, your friends are a priority.

Warnings: age gap relationships, sugar mommy/sugar baby relationships, swearing, aggression, cheating, all story is gonna be +18, you are responsible for your own ass. 

Word count: 6556

A/N: This chapter took a while and im greatfull for all your patience. This story is a proces and i go through it while writing, it growns on me with every sentance and page. Im happy i can share it with you. All ideas, theories, comments are welcome. Dont steal or claim my stuff as yours or im going to bite your ass off. Enjoy!

As always thanks to @charturnus for editing, helping to write and posting this fic. It wouldn't be here without you.

Previous chapter

CHAPTER 4

The next morning. You find Darcy occupied with her phone, laughing at something and scrolling down TikTok. You can tell which side of the platform she is on, and you smile under your breath, hearing the “woooo I’m mentally ill” sound, that both of you love. You gather yourself and enter the living room. You feel guilty, it wasn't right for you to speak to her this way, or say those things. Your opinions should never get between you and your friends, no matter what they do. God, you would help them bury a body without a question, why would you be a bitch about the way they decide to go in their life. That's not your place to say so, and you see it now, after a mostly sleepless night. You need to set things right, you need to apologize. You need to-

“Is this one of your ADHD things, when you just stand in the middle of the room and have a full-on conversation with yourself?” Darcy's voice breaks you out of your reverie, and you look at her with shocked eyes. You get lost sometimes. I guess it was one of those moments. 

“Yeah… I haven't taken my meds yet. Sorry about that.” You hang your head down and move closer to the couch that is occupied by Darcy and at least 5 blankets. Why would anybody need 5 blankets on one couch? It's not even that cold. Yes, it's November, but still, it's pretty warm for this time of the year.

“You are doing it again.” This time she touches your shoulder to bring you out and ground you, in reality a little bit more.

“Shit, sorry.”

“It's okay, what's bothering you?” She knows what, of course, she knows. The whole argument happened not more than 7 hours ago. God, you don't deserve her. 

“Darcy…. About yesterday…” You start fidgeting with your hands. Clearly uncomfortable, you are being eaten up from the inside by guilt. The fuzzy blanket that you are sitting on provides comfort with its texture. 

“About yesterday… I…”

“I know.” And you know she does, but she needs to hear it. You turn to the side to look at her, taking her hand into yours. You two were never touchy with each other. This is the kind of friendship where you would rather die than hug your friend, but you still would die for her in seconds. The older you two got, the closer you were, and the relationship between you two is far more mature now, you both are. 

“Still, even if you do, it wasn't acceptable for me to say those things. I don't have the knowledge of how it looks from your side. I have my own issues, I shouldn’t put that on you or attack you because of them. It wasn't right, and it won't happen again. I'm not going to judge any of you and if I'm going to be confused about anything I'm just going to ask. I was ignorant, angry, tired and rude. Nothing excuses my behaviour. I'm sorry Darcy.” 

She shifts her position and gets really close to you. You feel her arms around your neck and her face hidden in the crook of your neck. She feels warm, like home or fireplace, like the fuzzy blanket under your palm providing you with comfort. It takes you a second, but you practically scoop her up in your arms, hiding her even more in your chest. You stay like that for a little while and once you start pulling away you feel her grabbing you tighter. You don't let go.

“I'm sorry too.” You want to interrupt her, tell her that there is nothing to apologize for, that you were in the wrong, but she speaks again. 

“I said some shitty stuff yesterday. I don't want to talk to you that way. Even if I was a little bit right.” you both laugh at it, and the world gets a little lighter. The heavy feeling on your shoulders, it's always there, it always lingers, but now you don't carry it by yourself. When you finally pull apart, both of your eyes are a little bit glassy, you both notice it, but nobody will say anything. 

“You need to repay me, though. For the things you said.” Of course. You know that she is just using the situation and that you are actually forgiven, but you play the game either way.

“You have one wish. Shoot.”

“And no saying no?”

“No saying no.” 

“I'm going to set you up on a date. And before you interrupt me…”  You were actually going to interrupt her. 

“You have to be there for at least 30 minutes, and then I'm not going to set you up with anyone ever again.”

“Deal.” She looks at you like you’re dumb. This kind of look that tells you she is not done. You take a dramatic breath in.

“What else…?” She smiles and as much as you will never admit it, you want her happy. 

“Today Carol is having a small party with clients, friends, and business partners. It’s Bridgerton themed. You are going to be there, and you are going to like it. And no, you don't have to be there from the start, I know how you feel about all these business conversations. The party starts around 6pm and is going to last till 11pm at least. After that it's just going to be us, Maria, Kate, Pepper, Carol, Natasha and Wanda.” Hearing the last two names pulls a reaction from you. It’s one of the most dramatic eye rolls you've ever done. Darcy is laughing at you at this point, and you can't help but join her. You are not happy about any of that, but at the same time, you owe it to her.

“Yes ma’am.” The blanket beneath your fingers becomes overwhelming, so you start playing with your rings. 

“Good girl, now go because you have classes in half an hour.” She cares, and that's one of the ways she shows you that she does.

“Also, don't worry about your regency outfit! I’ve already taken care of it.” Your best friend tells you, not moving from the couch, as you stand up to take care of breakfast. She really gets on your nerves sometimes, but to be honest, you didn't even think about the outfit. You are grateful, even if it’s her that put you in this situation.

“Actually, I’m not going to uni today.” That's shocking news for her, and you get why she is surprised. 

“I also called off my shift at the bar.” Well that's a double shock, and it's surprising that she can take it. She gets off the couch and walks up to you, checking your temperature.

“Are you sick? Wait, you’re not dying, are you?” You love that dramatic bitch. 

“No, actually, we need to call a family meeting today.” 

‘’Oh,’’ Darcy breathes, realizing that the situation is serious. Only a few times before the meeting was called, this was the day Carol was introduced to all of you, or when Maria finally came out. This is an emergency only situation, and you are pretty sure that this one is justified. 

“Wait, family meeting? Someone died?” Maria’s sleepy voice flows through the room. Her hair is messy. Her silk robe flows nicely around her body. You always admired her confidence, and she is surprisingly kind for such an attractive person. Her hair is freshly cut, shoulder-length is the most comfortable for her, at least that's what she always says when they get too long. You like that about her, the way she knows what she wants, when and how. Even more, you don't understand why she would give control to anyone else. 

“Nobody died. Kate’s home?” You say. 

“Yeah, she came back around 4am.” Darcy's answer is followed by a big yawn. All of you can use a break today, and a little bit more sleep. 

‘’Could you please wake Kate up?’’ You say, turning to Maria. 

‘’I’ll get started on pancakes in the meantime.’’

She moves from her spot by the door and hurries to Kate's room. It's not going to be easy, but the longer you are putting off the conversation, the harder it's going to get. 

Preparing breakfast takes you little to no time, everything always goes by fast when you have Darcy on your side. You two work in perfect harmony, managing to cook, set up the table and even squeeze fresh orange juice for all of you. The scent of sweet citrus filled the whole room, bright sunlight falls aggressively through ajar blinds. Crispy air hits you as you move to close the window, trying to get rid of the burned smell of the last failed pancake. You are still going to eat it, you hate wasting food. 

Darcy is on your right, sitting cross-legged on a high chair with a messy bun and an oversized sweater stolen from Carol. She looks peaceful and warm. Maria sits half naked in front of you. She is always really comfortable in her own skin and it shows. Long pyjama pants and a bra are her go to outfits in the morning. It suits her. When Kate comes out of her room, the first thing that you acknowledge is her wet hair, indicating she just had a shower and dark circles under her eyes. She moves smoothly closer to where you all wait for her and as she moves behind you, she stops in her tracks for a second to wrap her arms around your torso from behind. She hides her head in the crook of your neck, and all you can do is put your hand smoothly through her hair, hugging her closer with one arm. 

“I missed you.” She whispers just for you to hear, and you feel tiredness and pain of the past busy weeks in her voice. It fills you with love, care but also anger for not being able to change it for her, or rather respecting the peace she chooses to live her life on. She needs to learn, and you will be here to catch her if she falls. And that's exactly why family meetings are so needed. 

“I missed you too, hun.” Her smile makes you happy and breaks your heart at the same time. You have been in situations when someone was trying to open your eyes, and you were taking out anger and pain on the messenger. Honestly, there is nothing she could do to push you away, but you know some part of her will hate you after this. 

“So what's the family meeting about? It sounds serious, you even took a day off.” 

“Let's just eat for now. We're gonna talk later.” 

****

You wash the dishes after breakfast while girls talk with each other on the couch. They offered to clean, but you needed a second for yourself to muster up the courage to tell her the truth. Giving yourself time is needed, but also creates moments like this. Wet sponge in your right hand, plate in your left, and your phone laying heavy in your pocket with evidence. You feel it digging into your leg through the material, kind of like pushing you to stop procrastinating the inevitable, so you do. 

You sit down on an ottoman that matches the rest of the couch set and as you sigh heavily, all the attention is drawn to you. Nobody’s rushing you to open up, it's one of the many rules of the meetings. They all wait for you, ready to provide comfort at all times. You lock your eyes with Kate’s, and as you almost always keep your posture and face up, your eyes water up a little, but not enough for them to notice. 

“Go on y/n. Lay it on me.” She is the youngest of all of you, but sometimes she is more mature than all of you combined. 

“Valkyrie is cheating on you.” You can see in her eyes that she thinks it's a joke, another dumb idea of yours to separate the two of them because you don't think her girlfriend deserves her, so you continue. 

“I was at the bar, had my shift with Steve, she was there. There was a whole group of people, God, all of them drunk out of their minds. She came to me and told me that you’re not texting her back. She wasn't too nice about it.” You take a deep breath in and grab anything you have close to you to stop yourself from standing up and pacing around the room. The plastic scrunchie provides some stimulation, so you look at her again. 

“At some point, she started kissing some girl that was in that group. I don't even know if they know each other.” Kate just listens, not taking her eyes off of you. You notice her lips quivering a little, but it's so slight that you’ve almost missed it. 

“Shuri was there, she can vouch for this.” 

“Wait, you saw your ex!?” Darcy jumps in but back off as soon as she can catch herself going off-topic, that's not important right now and she knows it. 

“Show me.” Two words you hoped you wouldn't hear. Speaking about it is one thing, but seeing it with her own eyes will be different. As the last resort, you try to play dumb, pretending not to know what she means.

“This is far too important for you not to have the proof. Just show me y/n, I’m a big girl.” So you do. When you hand her the phone, it’s already opened in your gallery. It's the last thing you recorded. The video starts with Shuri drinking her martini and talking to you about something happening at her university. However, as soon as you zoom into the group, she falls silent. 

‘’Oh fuck,’’ The girls can hear Shuri swearing, combined with your heavy breathing through the speaker in your phone. The scene ends with Valkyrie standing up and dragging the girl behind her into the bathroom area and Shuri’s voice saying “y/n don't do it”. 

“What did you do?” Maria asks what everybody is wondering. You answer her question, but all you say is for Kate and only for her. 

“I didn't do anything. I ended my shift and went home.” She believes you, you are always honest with her, always. 

“I wanted to tell you right after, but this is not something to do over the phone. Maybe I should have just found you at your job, I'm sorry but-” She's interrupting your explanation with the softest voice she has.

“It's okay, I know you are more of a face to face person.” The scrunchie is long forgotten on the floor, and Kate's hands are secured strongly in yours. You caress her palm with your thumb, providing as much comfort through the touch as you can, but she leans back on the couch. You expected anger, sadness, a breakdown or denial, but not this. 

“I mean, she was awful either way, right?” Both Darcy and Maria jump in with copious nodding and approval of that statement. 

“I guess it's for the better, at least I have a good reason to end it now.” With that she…. smiles? Something is wrong, something is very wrong. 

For the next 5 minutes your roommates rumble about how awful Val is, how much better Kate will be without her and how happy they are that she feels that way. Kate jumps in from time to time, smiling and telling them how right they are, and that's when you can't take it anymore. You start laughing, and it takes everybody off guard, to be honest it takes you off guard too. You don't explain anything to anybody as you stand up, take your hurt friend by her hand, and announce that you will be back in a couple of hours for dinner. You are much stronger than Kate, so manhandling her a little into her room is easy. 

“Get dressed, put some training clothes on and take your wallet. I'm taking your car keys, and I'm waiting for you in the car park. Don't make me wait too long.”

“Y/n I’m fine! What are you even doing? I don't understand.” You hug her really close, face buried in your chest, her arms hanging loose on her sides not really knowing what to do with them, but even when she’s not reciprocating you don’t let her go. Your left hand goes all the way around her waist, grabbing her side, while the right hand keeps her head close to you. Your touch feels hungry for closeness with her, while you almost shield her whole body with yours. When you let go, you grab her face into your hands, look deeply into her glassy eyes and smile with the most honest love you ever felt to someone. This kind of love is different from anything else you ever had. You imagine that's the way your brother feels when he looks at you. At least he did when you were younger. 

“You’re not Kate. And it's okay.” You kiss her forehead and tell her once again to get ready before you disappear from her room. 

*** 

The ride to the location takes you around 25 minutes. The whole trip, Kate is trying to get you to tell her where you’re going or what this whole thing is about, but you keep your mouth shut, which makes her more irritated by the minute. It's good, you need her to be irritated, you need her to be mad, and soon enough everything will become clear to why. 

You arrive at a big open space with one building that's in poor condition. Vines have taken over its walls, invading cement and binding everything together with nature. It’s a truly beautiful view if you can just stop for a second and try to understand what's in front of you. It's far, it's quiet, and it's your safe space, one of just the few that you have. You get out of the car, still not answering Kate's questions. She makes it harder for herself and as much as you get why she is doing it, you wish she would stop. 

“What's that place? It looks like a squat.” She comments, and she sounds unnecessarily annoyed.

“This is a place where me and Shuri were meeting for most of the time. It's a safe place and a safe space.”

“Safe for what?”

“To be yourself.” 

Your answer takes her a little bit off guard, you can see by the appearing wrinkles on her forehead that she really thinks about what you just said, and hopefully she will find some truth for herself in your words. She follows you into the building, you take out a bundle of keys, which is definitely too big, you don't even remember what half of them are for, you are pretty sure that some of them were found around here, never finding out their purpose, but the one that you need right now is easy to find. The red band on top of it makes it easy to spot. The word ‘’sanctuary’’ is hand-painted onto the key, and it fills you with warmth and gratitude that your last relationship ended up on good terms. You really appreciate having Shuri in your life, her and her family were nothing but good people to you, and you are glad to reciprocate anytime you can. You open a heavy looking lock and enter the building with Kate on your heels. 

Inside it is really dark and scary looking, dust covers the floors, and various types of glass, wood and all kinds of materials can be found on the side of every wall. Used spray paint cans decorate one corner, making the whole place more alive because of their colours. They also create a nice contrast to the surrounding chaos. All cans are securely stacked in a pyramid shape. A skylight lights up the middle of the room in a theatrical way. You love this place to the bone. 

As Kate looks around with a little disgust on her face she tries to appreciate you getting her out of the house, you collect some things from the locker and close it with a metallic clang. 

“Here,” you say into her direction, getting closer to her with two jumpsuits in hand. She looks surprised, but gets the general idea of what you want from her. She is obliging even if she is not fully sure why you are both here, she’s too shaken up to put it all together. Putting on a brave face is one of her greatest strengths and weaknesses, but you know every little piece of her. At least most of them. 

You start undressing while Kate is half ready with her suit on, you were always impressed with her physique. She’s the one who motivated you to go to the gym, taking you with her a couple of times gave you the kick-start that you needed to go on your own, you are grateful for that, not sure that she is aware of it. As you take off your shirt, you don't notice Kate's eyes lingering on your body. You are muscular it's hard not to be after putting so much work in at the gym, her eyes are tracing the tattoos on your body, from your legs up. You’re  turned away from her, so she has a perfect view of your wide back. She isn’t sure why she’s staring, but it seems natural to do so, so she lets herself. As you turn around to face her, you zip up the suit to your waist, looking for a shirt you took with you. You don't want to ruin your nice clothes, that's why you asked Kate to pack something up herself as well. You look at her. She seems to be stuck for a moment, and her face is red.

“Are you okay?” You reach out to her, worried that she might be on the verge of crying because of her breakup, unaware that the reason for her state is completely different. Kate on the other hand is trying to understand what's happening to her. Nobody was ever as sweet to her as you, so protective and caring. Nobody held her like you do, nobody was interested in her in the way you are. In the beginning she was trying to figure out if that's your way of hitting on her, but after she got to know you a little bit she understood that it's just your nature. It didn't change the fact that she always feels special when you act protective over her or caring in any way. Late night texts telling her to get home safe, to remember about lunch, calling her love. Or just simply sitting down together and letting her talk while you listen. Just the way you let her be with you is enough to get some ideas in her head. She has been questioning for a long time now if she is attracted to you, but even if the answer is yes, your relationship has always been platonic, and she is aware of that. 

“Yes, yes I am. Dress up, or you're going to get sick.” She stops the topic before you can ask her more questions, not wanting to fall into a hot mess in front of you. 

After you both get dressed and leave your stuff secured in the locker, just in case, you take Kate's hand and tell her to follow you. Her palm is soft but cold to the touch, instinctively you start to rub her hand with your thumb to warm it up and comfort her a little, sensing her nervousness. She’s still playing with her hands, grabbing onto her jewellery and loose strands of fabric fraying off of the partially torn jumpsuit. Your touch seems to bring her a little bit more back into the present. You can hear her taking a big breath in when you soothe her hand, and it seems like her arms are starting to relax a little. 

You moved further into the building, which leaves you in front of a massive, heavy looking reinforced door. Something straight out of the teen wolf series. As you open them, you are both hit with too much sunlight coming out of the skylights. Your eyes take a second to adjust and get past the sting of it, Kate tries to blink the pain away too. As soon as her vision is clear, she gets what all of this is about, and she doesn't know how to feel about it. 

“Wha…what? Y/n I don't think it's necessary.” She comments as soon as she sees a table covered in lots of different kinds of mugs, plates, dishes, boxes and bottles. It's warmer here than anywhere else in the building, probably because of the sun coming through the windows. She understands now why the doors are so thick. She waits for your answer, but you leave her in silence. You move to the deep right corner of the room and grab two aluminium bats and two helmets secured in the covered box. Your weapon is strictly for looks, you are not going to participate in breaking today, this day is all about Kate and you need to focus on her. 

“Take it.” She shakes her head, refusing to do so. 

“Kate, take it, please.” She does see that you are being really serious about it. It feels heavy in her hands at first, but her muscle memory is trained on such a good level that it takes her just a minute to get used to the handle and balance of the bat. 

“I don't need it. I know you think I'm sad and heartbroken but I'm not, okay?  It's for the best and we both know it yn.” She pleads with you, it all seems really unnecessary for her. 

“Kate..” you come close to her and put  your free hand on her cheek. “ You are heartbroken, you are tired and you are sad, but most of all you are angry. I can see you holding your fist together every time someone mentions your mother.” Exactly the thing she does as soon as the words leave your mouth. “ I know that you feel betrayed by Val, it doesn't matter if you loved her or not. She abused you for so long, just as your mother. Dont hate me for it but I think you chose her for a reason.” She looks at you not believing your words, and takes a step back. Her eyes ask you what you mean by that and you know she felt a sting because of your assumption. You straighten out your posture and keep going, gambling your friendship in the name of her sanity. 

“You have been controlled since your father died.”

“Stop.” Her voice is low but the tone of it is threatening.

“Your mother uses you as her personal project, to be honest I'm not sure if she was ever a real mother to you.” You continue not letting yourself back up no matter what. She needs this.

“I said stop.” Her voice is louder letting emotions take over a little.

“ Were you saying stop when Val hit you? Or when she was pouring alcohol in your system so she could take advantage of you? You didn’t deserve any of this” She is crying at this point and it pains you to see.

“All those times I was picking you up from her apartment seeing a new bruise on you, all those times when you got hell from your mother or from your girlfriend because you had to choose one and there were no other options in your life. This is not love Kate, it never was.” 

“Nobody asked you to take care of me!!” She is screaming now and you decided to match her energy. 

“BUT I DID! I was cleaning the fucking cuts, i was holding the ice bags and i had to watch you being broken everyday! I had to restrain myself of fucking her up everyday because of your feeling towards her!” Kate never knew about this, so that information is shocking, her head unfortunately for both of you took a defensive state so everything you say is taken personal. !!!

“ If that was such a fucking issue for you you could’ve just told me! I would never ask you for help if I knew!’ The bat in her hand is flying around, she always uses her hands while speaking so it's normal, in this situation though it's a little dangerous. 

“It's not about me ! Its about you Kate, about people fucking you over and over again and you allowing them. It's about the fact that you are angry and you don't let yourself go!”

“I'M NOT ANGRY. I'M IN PAIN! AND THEY’VE PUT ME THERE” With that she delivers a first hit to the stack of plates. It's not in the center so plates end up falling from the table while  breaking a couple of them. It's hard to aim when your face is covered in tears. You grab her arm before she can do a second strike stopping her mid flight. She tries to get out of your hold pushing you away with her other arm but you are one step ahead and you let go of your bat to grab both of her hands. You take her into a strong embrace letting her totally break down in tears. She cries, and it sounds like something she loved, someone she loves has died, maybe a part of her. Her voice is broken and you can hear her asking why, while you drop with her to the floor not letting go for even a second. She is still fighting to get out of your arms but you know that she is not fighting with you. You put your hand on her head closing any space left between you and you try to calm her crying a bit.

“I got you Kate… I'm right here with you, I'm not leaving…. ever. You can let go… just let go, I'm holding you.” And she does. She lets go of all the pain she feels at the moment, lots of memories coming back to her in a big feeling of chaos. It is hard for her to focus on one feeling, one problem, one pain so she grabs on to you tighter trying to ground herself in your touch. She starts paying attention to your fingers tracing patterns on her back, on your breathing being slow and deep and she tries to match it the best she can with her own. She focuses on the vibrations she can feel on her head that are coming from you humming her favorite melody. She finds peace in it and after a little while she slowly lets go of you to take a deep breath in and look at your face. You smile at her with the most genuine smile that she ever saw. 

“Why are you so happy?” She is teasing you, you know she is.

“Because I'm proud of you Katie… so proud.” Your voice is low and soft, like the silence after the storm, like the moment when the rain stops falling abruptly after ripping the sky open with its force. 

You help her stand up and that's the exact moment that she sees blood on your face. Her breath hitches while she points at your cheek. You touch the place and realize that while she hit the plates one piece of them got stuck in your skin. You take it out with almost no force and wipe already dried blood off of you. 

“That's why we wear helmets.” You pick up the gear that was left on the floor, and help her put it safely on her head. After doing the same you hand her a bat and let her have an outlet for all of the forgotten feelings hidden inside of her for so long. Sounds are loud, rapid but so satisfying. Pieces of glass are landing on the walls, the floor and your clothing. At first she was shy with her hits, but you can see that she got more comfortable with the whole idea and actually put some work into it. You hold your cold bat in your left hand, it's only a prop, because today it's about Kate…. today is about Kate yn… You tell yourself trying to suppress any emotions you might have with this whole situation. Stacks of beer glasses seem to have your name written all over them. The bat you are holding gets a little bit heavier in your hand when you tighten your fist around it. Your veins become visible because of the pressure and your eyes are focused on the target, never looking away from it but holding yourself back as much as you can. Just when you start to feel yourself going into emotions, all of the glasses break in front of your eyes. A big hit delivered by Kate crashes them into pieces and powder, and with that she says that it's the last one that she needed. It brings you back out of your head and you nod at her, pointing to the door. 

After leaving the room you give some time for Kate to change into her clothes while you are sweeping the floor to make it nice and tidy, mainly safe. You put down all the equipment and as you move into the room with a locker you can hear Kate humming the same melody you were trying to calm her down with. It warms you from the inside, the fact that you understand her and she trusts you enough to show you the most raw parts of herself. While you change Kate decided to look around some other rooms in the building. Some of them are holding more stuff to break, some of them have camping equipment, making her acknowledge that you probably spend some nights here. As you catch up to her you see that she found one of the most important places for you. The biggest room in this whole building has two chairs in the middle of it and 5 plastic boxes on the right side of it. Chairs are facing one wall, a wall covered in graffiti, with big sentences written in the middle of it. You lean on the entrance while Kate is trying to take it all in. 

“What's that? Ver- Verba Vo…” “Verba Volant Scripta Manent. Spoken words fly away, written words remain.” You explain to her, trying to get her to understand what this place is about. “And what's all over that?” “All the reasons why me and Shuri were coming here. Tony Stark, Loki, work, even when I was arguing with you guys.” You laugh a little at the memory. “Even your mom.” You see her go closer to the wall as she eyes your mothers name written on the wall in the most chaotic way she ever saw. She puts her hand on the cold concrete and touches it lightly, collecting some dirt on her fingers by accident. She doesn't seem to care though. She turns with glossy eyes to look at you and a second later you are holding her in your arms. She is not angry anymore, but sad. Tears flow out while you hold her and allow her to feel all the emotions at once. She doesn't have to pretend with you, she never should. She lets you go and look at your face. Her cold hand lands on your cheek as she is trying to take care of you, leaving some of the dirt on your skin. It throws you off guard for a second because you didn't realize you were crying with her. As soon as you do you whip off the tears that escaped and hand her spray can from one of the plastic boxes.

“Write Katie, everything that's on your shoulders, write it out of you. It will stay here, and you will move on without it.” “Verba Volant Scripta Manent.” She repeats your mantra butchering latin pronunciation, making you laugh. 

“Exactly.” You give her a nod and encourage her to start letting go of all the things that are in her heart. She is a little shy at first but gets a hold of it really quickly. She writes dates, names, words like work, comfort, cheating, fear. With each word she seems to be lighter and you enjoy the view. Carefully she writes everything down avoiding your drawing, your motto, which you really appreciate. As she finishes her work she takes a couple of steps back and enjoys the art of it. You join her, kiss the top of her head and take out of the box the last can, red one to put one last statement. She watches you really carefully as you go to her part of the wall and above everything she has written, you spray a big red word, saying “Rebirth”. As you turn around, a little bit dirty and tired, you feel happiness filling you in as she is smiling at you, in a way you haven't seen in a long time. 

After closing up everything and making sure that the whole place is secured and tidy you make your way to the car. Kate is surprised to see an emotional hangover setup at the back of her car. Bottle of water, her favorite snack and tissues waiting for her, set down with love and care. It always amazes her how you can think in the future. There were countless situations in both your lifes when something unusual, tragic or just really out of nowhere came up and you are always ready for it. At least you seem to be. You are not talking much to each other while going back, no words needed between both of you. Kate can sense that it took a hold on you too so she provides comfort by playing with your hair on the back of your neck while you drive. 

“I texted her.” Kates breaks the silence for a second, her voice barely above whisper. 

“What did you say?” 

“I broke up with her, I officially ended it, and I blocked her.” You put your hand on hers, letting her know you are right next to her. She expected you to be happy but you were always better for her then she anticipated.

“And how do you feel about it?” You ask tenderly. 

“It hurts… I know she wasn't good, she never was, but she meant a lot and it… it just hurts.” You nod your head waiting for her to continue, giving all the space she might need. 

“ But it's going to heal, and as much as it pains me I also feel lighter. I need it. Thank you yn, for everything.” She interviews her fingers with yours and allows silence to take over, leaving you both in each other's comfort. 

Next chapter

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[ieatsmallorphansnamedtom]

I would love to see some Harvey falling in love head cannons! The doctor is my fave!

Harvey Falling in Love with the Farmer

Ah, good old Harvey. I'd love to do a '__: Falling in Love' for him. Enjoy!

Harvey's really nervous to meet you. He's the town doctor, so he needs to win over the trust and respect of all his patients. And that includes you! The days leading up to your arrival he's scared out of his wits and has to take time off work to calm down and prepare.

But the day of your arrival, he's eerily calm. I suppose it's like an all-cried-out situation. Was so nervous he can't be nervous anymore! Plus, you just seem so nice. It's... odd (totally not a reference to the farmer knowing everything about everyone-).

Harvey's a kind man, and he thinks everyone deserves to be treated with respect. That's why he's so happy to find out how great a person you are to those around you. Sure, he's caught you digging in the trash a few times, but what's that to get in the way of a friendship?

In fact, you're so nice, he'd like to start a friendship right now! Which is odd, considering how shy he is. It must just be because you're so nice, right?

He realises he's in love long after he's fallen for you. It hits him like a brick out of nowhere. He sees you walk in the door to the clinic and just thinks 'man, I love them' and immediately has a heart attack at hearing his thoughts.

He becomes SUPER skittish around you. Even just opening a door can have him jump out of his seat. Maru gets really concerned for his safety; physically and mentally. Physically because he's bumping into everything, and mentally because, well, clearly, something's up.

Eventually, Maru catches on. She considers quietly explaining everything to you to hopefully stop the doctor's poor anxiety but decides against it. Instead, she quietly pushes the two of you together. She'll make any excuse to leave the two of you alone in a room so hopefully the man will just talk!

Once he gets over the skittish-ness (slightly), he asks you a bunch of questions. He wants to see how you are, no matter the answer. And he wants to know if something's wrong so he can help! Harvey will never judge you, no matter how big or small you think the issue is.

You guys chat over wine (or a healthy brunch if you don't drink). It's about anything, really. But what he wants is to hear you talk. He doesn't want to embarrass himself, but probably will anyway trying to get you to open up.

Lots of compliments. He tries to keep them lowkey, but it does not work. Even when it is kept lowkey he thinks he blew his cover and becomes a flustered mess.

"Hello farmer, you look lovely today. I mean- I, uh- excuse me for a moment."

All in all, he's the most obvious of the bunch. The man loves you, and no matter how hard he tries, the world will know. Maru especially is trying to push you together (she can see how lonely the doctor is). She thinks you would make a great couple!

-~-~-

I hope you liked it! It was fun to make. :) Remember to get some sleep and stay hydrated. <3

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