#the only times i genuinely felt like i was in a fucking fairytale was when i met my ex kfjxjjj

[bewby]

everyday literally everydayyyy i think about how the way i experience the world will never be as good as i thought it would be. and when i think back to things being "nice" it's nostalgia tricking me 🤣🤣 like it will never actually be good and feel as amazing as i fantasize about it makes me so sad. nothing will ever be as exciting as these made up feelings i have attached to memories. or. media. the real world is literally hell and everyone tells you to just keep going . and i get it. but. why can't things actually feel like they do when i think back to them. in my mind. like all warm and fuzzy . ok whatever i'm gonna eat

#the only times i genuinely felt like i was in a fucking fairytale was when i met my ex kfjxjjj #like i always say this but when we first met it literally was only like 2 hours and we just walked around my city and that was still #the best day of my entire life . bfbdbdbhsshgghkr #in that time. the world Didn't exist to me And when i first saw him it was like a glitch happened mid air like it was. WOW #being in love really is the best thing ever but i wish i could feel that happy outside of romantic relationships too. god this is another #issue i have. like i never find that kind of happiness in friendships #and i mean it makes sense that romance makes you feel More. but. i want to be able to have proper friendships and feel happy in them too #AUGHHHGH maybe one day #i just need people who understand how i can get distanr and easily exhausted bdjdvsvshsv

[somer-writes]

The Heart of Hyrule Modern AU pt 1

Alright AU dump let's goooo

Let's get some character stuff down for the 3 grown ups (not including Malon)

Time

He's a retired adventurer/hero. He's actually been knighted by the crown but he only agreed as a favor to his old childhood friend, the crown princess Zelda. He's pretty well known as more myth than man for his monster slaying escapades.

Mysterious origins abound. No one except for Malon knows how old Time is and where he's *actually* from. He is in fact from the Kokiri Forest which is a common fairytale. His mother left him there while fleeing the civil war which ended a few years after his birth.

Able to sense magic. Uses it sometimes.

He's married to Malon. When Talon passed, Malon inherited Lon-Lon Ranch. Everything is in her name. He has a coffee mug that says 'Princess' on it as a joke. They also joke he married her for the horses. Lon-Lon Ranch is small, mostly managed by the two of them and Twilight.

Time's pretty reclusive. He doesn't like to go into town. There's rumors about him bc of it, but Malon throws hands for him.

Time and Malon "hired" Twilight as a ranch hand when he showed up on their doorstep with an old ad in the paper from when Talon still ran things. They couldn't just let a kid like him out of their sight and have essentially adopted him.

They also look after the others. Their home is a safe place for the younger ones to go when they need it. Also they pay them to help out with chores (esp during the summer).

Time has issues with chronic pain which is part of why he stopped going on royal errands. His back and knees are pretty rough.

He keeps out hummingbird feeders for both birds and fairies.

Caffeine addict. Always has a cup of coffee within 5 feet of his person. Malon buys his coffee mugs. They are all jokes at his expense.

His favorite food is milk. The colder the better.

Not a strong reader. Malon taught him how to read.

Warriors

Next oldest. He's 22, just slightly older than Twi.

He's a city boy. He left his family's primary home there to live in their summer house in town. It's a big manor and he lives there alone. He doesn't really like it much but he doesn't know what else to do with himself

Heir to a weapons development company that got its foothold in the war. wealthy upbringing. His dad's been married three times so Wars has a large amount of step and half siblings he's not close to. He himself is an "only" child. He does not get along with his father and doesn't know the rest of his family well.

He was in school for architecture but is taking a break bc it got to be too much for him. He works part time at the city office as a clerk.

Doesn't make friends easily, is used to getting picked on.

Emotionally neglected/abused as a child. Struggles with being too clingy when he makes a genuine bond with someone. Lots of feelings of insufficiency

Prolific dater for a while in high school. Cheated on his partners. Had one extremely toxic ex as a teenager (theres cw worthy stuff here so i wont mention it in this post) and has been put off on ever having any real relationships with anyone ever again.

Touch aversion bc of the aforementioned. Doesn't mind if it's Wind or Twi tho. Slowly warming up to the others.

He struggles to relate or says very ignorant things sometimes just bc of his privileged upbringing but he's doing his best to learn better.

Came up in private school. Had nannies until he was 14. Nowhere's ever really felt like home to him

Writes poetry and paints. Greatly enjoys romcoms.

Twilight

Next oldest at 21. He's from Ordon which is an occupied territory of Hyrule

High school dropout/teenage runaway. Has his GED.

Orphaned, found by Rusl when Rusl was out on a monster hunt. Raised by Rusl and Uli.

Ran away at 16 after fucking around with dark magic and finding out. Saw Some Shit. Still has nightmares. He's still in contact with Rusl and Uli and they know he's safe but he's doing some "soul searching" and so hasn't gone home.

The dark magic let him go to the spirit realm. He can turn into the wolf as a result (and has to bc he gets grouchy if he's Hylian for too long). Some of his keen hearing/smelling carries over. Can see spirits. Nobody knows yet.

Tried to make a living at first as a freelance monster hunter. Got his ass handed to him a few times. Eventually blew into town as a very hungry/sick 17-yo and wound up at Lon-Lon looking for work

He doesn't feel like he deserves Time and Malon's love but they care for him like he's their own kid. He's always working extra hard to try and make up for it.

Missing his left arm from the shoulder down. Lost it to the monster that attacked his village shortly before Rusl found him.

Does not like when people offer their help when it comes to his arm. He will let them know when he needs a hand (kek).

Extremely fond of and good with animals. Also really strong once he got healthy again. Very capable on horseback, adores cats.

When he can't be found at the creek or stables, he can be found sleeping in various places around the farm. Always has cats on/following him.

Reads a lot, draws too. Fishes often. Works on his truck with Malon and Four.

Looks up to Time, best bros forever with Wars, very close with Wild

pescatarian (only fish hes caught tho, never bought)

#somer writes #the heart of hyrule modern au #im sure i have more to say about them but my thoughts are a little scattered #also theres 6 more lads and malon to get to #and eventually ill write out setting notes too #aus are such a chore sometimes XD #linked universe #lu fanfiction #i am also taking questions lol #and questions would be helpful for solidifying ideas #if you made it this far congrats

[octoooo]

Actually now that I’ve finished Sailor Moon (90s) I can finally talk about Usagi & Mamoru.

I don’t like them together.

And I’m not sorry about it.

Their 90s relationship feels like a fairytale love story born out of obligation to their past lives & not real feelings. That’s how it came off at least.

Keep in mind how I mentioned 90s specifically, this ain’t about the manga or Crystal.

Now maybe I’m smoking crack or I simply forgot, but,,didn’t they dislike each other for the longest time? Throughout Season 1 at least, Before either of them realized they fight together as Sailor Guardian & Tuxedo Mask I mean. Usagi hated Mamoru especially when he called her “Bun Head.”

And Mamoru seemed teasing sure, but not romantically interested from their meetings on the street. Usagi was crushing on Tuxedo Mask, but she actively hoped that Mamoru wasn’t him.

And then they learned of their past relationship as Princess Serenity & Prince Endymion and?? Now it’s like “oh let’s be together! I think we’re meant to be!” It’s just,,it felt like obligation to me.

Idk maybe they fell in love off screen but like,,,why couldn’t we see it? Isn’t this their story? Shouldn’t we see the main lovers actually develop so I can feel something for them?

I cheered when Mamoru broke up with Usagi, I was like genuinely happy about that lol.

Also the 90s fucked up their age gap. Mamoru is now a college student (no given age) & Usagi is still 14 (eventually 15 in season 2 I think then 16 by the end) but like??

Kinda odd it went down like that y’know? I dunno about you but I hear “college student” and “middle schooler” I’m 💀

I’ve seen speculation that 90s Mamoru is 16 like his manga counterpart but he’s just really smart & went to college early.

Okay

Not impossible I guess,

But we don’t really have any information to assume that? In canon at least, maybe the animators came out and said something about it that I’m not aware of.

I can use Ami as a reference.

Because she’s in Usagi’s grade she’s also 14-16 and We KNOW she’s smart. She’s always top of her class & getting perfect scores, She spends her free time studying & was even offered a spot in a foreign university. She’s the smart one, it’s beaten over our heads numerous times. When she has conversations with Mamoru about topics outside her friend’s knowledge it only benefits her. Those scenes don’t do anything to show “oh Mamoru is really super duper smart to know all of this,” like it does for Ami. As an eighth grader, she wouldn’t be expected to know much about the topics Mamoru’s interested in, but she DOES because she’s SMART & we’re told this all the time.

Mamoru though?? We’re told he’s a college student. So we are to assume he just,,has to/wants to know this, meaning he IS smart. But he’s not extraordinarily smart like Ami, so I don’t think I can’t believe he’s a 16yr old who went straight to college.

Seiya & Usagi had a more developed relationship tbh.

Like, Seiya starts off not really caring for Usagi but then they like her enough to be friends, and eventually develop romantic feelings for her. Also, from their perspective Mamoru is a shitty guy so ofc he wouldn’t want Usagi to be with him. Like, as long as Seiya had known Usagi, she had cried over her “botfriend” and had absolutely zero contact with the guy. Of course they eventually learn it was because of the Shadow Galaxia but before learning that, Usagi seems hung up on some guy who does not feel the same for her, and Seiya is RIGHT THERE and they’re SO devoted.

Also Seiya didn’t want Usagi to be Sailor Moon, because that would mean that Usagi might be their enemy (can’t be beefing with the love interest now can you?) even after learning that, Seiya went to many great lengths where their affection showed through clear as day. I mean, the amount of times they took a hit for Sailor Moon or cradled her to protect her,,,,

Of course they would never end up together. Usagi was very clear about not wanting to be with anyone but Mamoru, yet Seiya kept pushing Which is yikes. But at least I got to see actual romance ? Got to see romantic feelings for Usagi from someone who genuinely cared. I can tell Usagi loves Mamoru (I think) but Mamoru is like,,,,so stiff with her. He protects her because he has to, like the other Guardians, it doesn’t feel born out of love line Seiya’s protectiveness.

Siiigh anyway I’m ready to be eaten alive by UsaMamo fans. Keep in mind this only covers the 90s anime, I have no idea how they are in the manga or Crystal as I haven’t seen much of it yet. I’ve heard it’s better in them, but I don’t wanna get my hopes up.

#sailor moon #usamamo #sailor moon anime #seiya kou #90s sailor moon #usagi tsukino #sailor star fighter #mamoru chiba #tuxedo mask #sailor moon usagi #slapped my thoughts/feelings down & didn’t proof read here ya go #just using they/them for Seiya because why not #I mean in their human disguise the Starlights r men & obvs use he/him but in their true Sailor form they’re girls #to the like..5 people who might see this post

[pandoa]

Howdy do! Congrats on your 100 followers!👍 For the event, I'd like red roses and anemones with Leona Kingscholar x fem! reader, please! In a romantic fairytale setting, too! Please and thank you!😊

Red roses ~ “i’m afraid your existence in my life has tremendously done wonders to my racing heart. i may have to ask for yours in return”

Anemones ~ “just take my hand. don’t you dare second guess yourself”

~leona kingscholar x gender neutral reader~ ~royalty!au but leona is still a prince lol~

warnings: one curse word because this is leona and i'm sure he'd drop f-bombs on a daily basis

tysm!! this was so fun to write and i hope you don't mind it being a royalty au! it's just that when someone says "fairytale" i think of the classic princes and fairies and all of that lmao- hope you like it! edit: sorry! i forgot to add that i only write gender neutral readers, my apologies-

♡the lions run at night♡

Despite being a prince in his brother’s precious kingdom, Leona was more of a phantom in the shadows with the way he appeared and disappeared throughout the day, avoiding the incessant duties the royal family was expected to complete as leaders of the kingdom. If Leona wasn’t king, then what was the point in working in a position he did not wish to have? He’d much rather doze off in the palace’s serene gardens or order around his gentleman-in-waiting, Ruggie Bucchi, rather than waste his days in a drab, old meeting room with nobles who were only there to suck up to the king’s power through Leona. It sickened him and sent a bile taste to the back of his throat. Being around those leeching nobles, he means. Each one wanted the same as the last: money, control, the king’s place at the throne—you know, the usual needy desires a noble can have. 

Although, the young prince of Sunset Savanna had come to realize that you had been drastically different. As the heir to a dukedom in a far off land, you were a common visitor at the Kingscholar’s palace, with you attending each and every meeting, ball, and social gathering his brother’s kingdom had to offer. You were kind, so intelligent, an overachiever in every way possible, took part in royal gatherings, and—

It pissed him off. Every smile on your face was fake, every word you spoke was hollow, and each thing you did felt so… manipulated. Like you were a marionette while your dukedom was the puppeteer. The picture perfect heir to a controlling duchy. Leona could see right past your goody-goody facade and he hated it. He despised the way you two had been chained to the orders of your families, despised the way you barely showed any authentic emotions, and despised the fact that you both had been drowning in your own misery. 

Leona wanted to change that.

And so, lazily pulling you along the long, barren halls of the grandiose palace, the prince of Sunset Savanna guided you away from royal grounds and into a mystical forest adjacent to the Kingscholar’s castle. The forest was filled with enchanting creatures and flowers alike, with pixies, magical butterflies, mysterious mushrooms, and plentiful groups of fairies adorning the forest trees with golden dust that looked like heaven. It was like a dream you wished would never end. 

“I’m leaving this godforsaken place, and you’re coming with me,” Leona declared, interrupting your entranced state. 

“Wait, what? Why me all of a sudden?”

Leona immediately stopped in his tracks at your words. There was no way you could be so clueless, right? I mean, you were the only other person he spoke to in the palace and the only noble he genuinely enjoyed speaking to! Were you also so blind to his obvious stares and glances back at every ball you both would attend?

The young prince sighed and thought to himself. Wow, all of these brains, but you can’t tell when a guy likes you? Pfft— The whole ordeal was laughable, really, but he realized that now was not the time to tease you about it. Maybe later, he supposed. After he dealt with your airheaded self.

“Ugh, fuck it! I can’t take it anymore,” Leona said as he gently grasped your shoulders to make you face him, while gradually inching closer to your figure intimately. His actions were so tense that even the fae flying around you two halted in the jittery energy the prince had exposed. This was completely unlike him, and he knew it. But since when did falling in love ever make sense, hm?

Leona held your body close to his as his emerald eyes bore into your own colored ones. “I’m afraid your existence in my life has tremendously done wonders to my racing heart. It’s not fair. It was never fair. I may have to ask for yours in return.”

“Leona, I—”

 "Just take my hand, herbivor. Don't you dare second guess yourself and come with me. I know you hate this place just as much as I do.”

Perhaps a knight in shining armor isn’t all a tale needs to be saved. Perhaps what it truly needs is two suffocating souls, lost and bleary, finding each other in the masses and pulling one another out of the shadows they had found themselves in. There was no sole “savior” because the two souls would save each other. 

A happily ever after only you and Leona could create for yourselves. 

a/n: why is leona so fun to write for he just has that perfect "i hate you but i love you" energy, i personally don't even like him all that much but his fics are always so mMMMMM-

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst x reader #twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twst imagines #gender neutral reader #leona kingscholar #leona kingscholar x reader #leona x reader #twst leona #leona twst #leona twisted wonderland #savanaclaw #blossom grove prompt event

[madame-fear]

And since you wanted supernatural

DK Scarecrow with Mermaid S/O.

He met her at the docks. She seemed scared and swam away from him for the first time but slowly got used to him.

She can talk so he gains her trust. One day he hears her struggling and sees some old net get tangled in her hair. When he helps her out she just says "I hate it here." Docks here are polluted so she always feels ill. 

She explains how she got there. Basically she accidentally got caught in a net and when she got free she hurt her fin so she can't go back to the ocean. She can get legs if she's dry but it doesn't solve the issue since injury still stays.

— a/n : honestly once requests are open again, i might make a songfic out of this one because when i began writing this i was listening to the song black sea by natasha blume and then swim by chase atlantic played and it fit PERFECTLY in my opinion😭

• The very first moment he had a slight glimpse of you, Jonathan would've been mesmerised. I believe he would definitely think to himself if he was beginning to imagine things from the lack of sleep he was getting due to work, or if he had actually seen a fucking mermaid swim away from him.

• After that, he would've visited the docks more often, just to confirm if you were there. And he was right, you actually were there, much to his disbelief.

• Mermaids were something that could only happen in children's fairytales, he thought. But not anymore, right? He just saw one with his very eyes! Not only once, but after his continous visits to the docks, you were occasionally there, swimming along the flow of the waves, and getting some glimpses of him.

• At first, you were shy to approach him, but mainly because you thought that, just like every other human that you'd previously met, he'd try to hurt or capture you. But, seeing him so calmly trying to reach you, and when he couldn't he just kept doing his own thing, you trusted him a bit more.

• Jonathan would have a very soft gentle nature around you, as to not scare you away. Though, the day you were the one approaching him for the first time, he genuinely felt happy deep inside of him.

“Hello, stranger.” a soft, unfamiliar femenine voice was heard coming from your lips. “What is your name? Why do you come here often?”

• A relaxed grin formed on Jonathan's lip curves, as he greeted you back in a friendly manner, trying to hide his amusement at noticing you could indeed talk. He responded by saying his name was Jonathan Crane, and that the docks were often very tranquil, so his visits were to ease his mind from the daily stress.

• You chatted, and chatted, and chatted. Both of you found each other nice, and you realised that he was genuinely caring for you, and meant no possible harm; so when it was time foe Jon to go back home before it was too late, you agreed to meet each other the next day.

• And so, it happened. The visits and the chatting became a more frequent thing for you. Occasionally, he'd bring you some books to read to you while you spent time together.

• Slowly but surely, he began fancying you, even though he had to leisurely make his moves on you.

• One day, when he had gone to visit you as he always did, he noticed you struggling and complaining bit too outloud. When he approached, Jonathan realised you had bits of old nets tangled around strands of your hair — so being the gentleman he is, he helped you out by softly cutting the net, and slowly removing it from your hair.

• While he helped you out, Jonathan attentively listened to you explaining how much, and why you hated it in there, and how you always felt sick from the pollution. Even if he's not the type to express his feelings, his heart broke, in a way, as he heard you telling him how your life was in there.

• As you talked to him and ranted, he noticed how your fin was injured as well. Noticing this, he took the opportunity to ask you how the net had gotten to your hair, plus why your fin was visibly wounded.

• Apparently, you had gotten trapped in an old net trying to save some marine animals and fishes that had were trapped in the net before you. Oh, boy. A true overwhelming of feelings for him, even if it's not common for him to feel that way.

• Naturally as your fin was injured, you couldn't just easily go back to swimming on the ocean. Yes, you could have legs when enough dried, but it was of no help because you couldn't just... magically cure and make the wound go away.

• Having already a deep soft spot for you, and hating the conditions you're currently in, he would tell you to wait for him for a brief moment. You agreed, and he rushed to search for a medical kit that was on his nearly parked car. Jonathan always keeps it there because... who knows when you can have an emergency?

• When he came back, he helped you lay by his side on top of his docks. And with his medical kit, he tried to stitch your wound, and apply any type of liquid that could avoid a possible infection... just in case, he obviously isn't a mermaid expert, is he?

• Jonathan just imagines that like everyone else walking on Earth, there was a chance that you might get an infection as well, especially with all the garbage and pollution going on around the ocean.

• Your eyes admiringly stared into his icy blue ones as he was focused in not causing you any type of pain as he took care of your wounds. Maybe, this wasn't going to solve the problem for now, but your fin will leisurely recover, and eventually, you'll be able to keep swimming around the ocean.

• After he was done, he explained what was the procedure he had done on you; and that it will, hopefully, recover soon.

• You thanked him so incredibly much for his help, and he, instinctively, threw himself to hug you tightly... he just had a fierce need of protecting you. Jonathan had grown so fond and dear of you, that he couldn't stand to see you in any type of pain.

• Since you're laying on the docks by his side, he will keep you tightly close to him in a protective manner, both of you staring at the sun disappearing slowly, leaving traces of bright orange skylines. And, maybe, he thought, that if you could get legs when enough dry... he could possibly take you back to his home, take good and proper care of you, and show you the world.

• Of course, this secret would be kept to only you, and himself. No one else could know about you being a mermaid, not even his closest villain friends. He promised to himself, he would protect you as much as he can, and that he would do anything just to be with you at any given chance.

♡ taglist : ♡

@wittywitchness @anemic-royaltyy @imagine--if @scarecrow-jon-babe @corruqti0n @captainsophiestark

#jonathan crane headcanon #jonathan crane x you #jonathan crane imagine #jonathan crane x reader #scarecrow headcanons #scarecrow x you #scarecrow x reader #scarecrow imagine #batman villains imagine #batman villains headcanons #batman rogues imagines #batman rogues x reader #batman villains x reader

[rockstar-pornograffitti]

Why does love have to change

Jack Blades x OC

Chapter One

Summary: Ren is the bassist of the successful Swedish Rock band Savage Seducion. She had it all, the great band and the fairytale romance with her guitarist and frontman Gunnar. That was until they broke up. Now Ren must navigate playing with her Ex as they tour America with Night Ranger. Along with new feelings for Night Rangers bassist Jack Blades.

A/N: yes I reused a band from another fic I abounded in order to write this one. Also, comments are welcomed and encouraged! Hope you enjoy!

Ren’s POV

I'm trying not to think about tomorrow. When I have to face my ex for the first time since we broke up a few months ago. He was the boy next door. I have known him my whole life, our parents were best friends and so we became friends. I started playing bass and he started playing guitar. We fell in love, or whatever love is to kids. We were thirteen. Then we decided at sixteen nothing was ever going to break us up so we might as well start a band together.

That was our first mistake. When you are sixteen we genuinely believe nothing is going to break up you and your boyfriend. You’re delusional and life hasn't kicked you down enough yet. We made it past school and our band grew. We got a record deal and still stuck together. We were 18 at this point. We'd been together all our teenage life and it was starting to break down. I had these feelings I needed to run. I needed to explore I needed to try something else. The love I once felt wasn't really romantic anymore. Yet I didn't want to fuck up our band. We had a massive following back in Sweden off our first album.

We were making it. I was living my dream of being a rockstar. So I kept hanging on to the relationship despite knowing I didn't love him anymore. I kept fighting it.

I mean he was the only love ever knew. What is wrong with me? My whole family wanted us together wanted us to get married wanted him to be my great love story. After all, it was looking like one of those stories you read about where the boy and girl next door live happily ever after. So I kept fighting it.

We made a decision to keep us being a couple as on the down low as possible. We didn't want that to be the identity of our band. Which looking back now should have been a sign.

Time went on, till last year. When I realized how unhappy I truly was. It all started when my mother started up her whole “why are you and Gunnar married” thing again. We're only 23 granted we have been together ten years. I realized how unnatural it was I really didn't want to marry him. I had no desire to spend the rest of my life with him. I didn't want to be his wife. I didn't see a future with us together. I wanted to run. I wanted to be free. How I was just holding on to this relationship to hold on to my band and make everyone around me happy. I didn't really love him anymore. I had to get out.

I remember thinking I'd have to start a new band. I can do that though. I can start over. I thought I'd shatter his heart. I thought he'd hate me and I was prepared for that.

I was shocked when It turned out he felt the exact same as me. We both knew this wasn't our forever love like we once thought and we had to cut ourselves free. We both knew it was what was best. So that's what we did. We decided since it was mutual and we really have no hate for one another to keep the band going. Why ruin a good thing?

So here I am months later. In San Francisco. Where our tour is going to start tomorrow with Night Ranger. They happen to be a band I really love. So I'm excited to your with them. I know it's going to be awkward but I also know I can work past it. I just need to focus on our music.

After all this the tour in support of our new album. The one we finished just before breaking up. It's really taken off here in America and I'm very proud of it. We've gone gold already and it's only been out a week! I'm excited to play the new stuff.

I decided to come a few days early so I could enjoy San Francisco a bit and relax before the awkwardness that was bound to happen. Right now I'm sitting in a nice convertible in an almost empty parking. I'm looking at the map to plan out my route to my next destination. I'm drinking some American soda, and just knowing the music and the nice weather.

Then I pop in my “Dawn Patrol” cassette into the cars cassette player. When I say I'm a fan of night ranger I mean it. I crank the radio and start singing along. Ex-boyfriends are tomorrow's problem.

————————————

Jack’s POV

I stop dead for a second when I suddenly hear my own music fill the air. Someone somewhere is blasting “Don't Tell Me You Love Me”. I look around looking for the source. It has to be nearby I can hear it very clearly. I look head into the parking lot and notice a woman sitting in a red convertible. She's got long black hair cut in what I call I rock n roll style. She's wearing sunglasses and she's the one blasting my music. It always makes me happy to see people enjoying my music. Especially when it’s pretty women.

In her lap, I notice she's studying a map. There is a good chance she's lost. I should go see if she needs help.

I walk over to her car and smile as I reach the driver's side. She notices me and turns down her radio down.

“If I’m not allowed to park her I can move.” She says, probably because the parking lot is empty. She has a thick accent of some kind. I’d say it’s European. Though I can’t place the exact country.

She’s dressed very rock. With tight black ripped jeans,cowboy boots and a crop top of the Swedish Band “Savage Seduction”. The band were actually starting a tour with next week. Interesting. Maybe she’s here for the concert? She seems to be fans of both bands.

“No, I actually came over to ask if you’re lost.” I tell her, pointing to the map on her lap. Also in her car is a pack of cigarettes, her purse, and a few cassettes. One of cassettes is actually our Album midnight Madness, and I can see the case for Dawn Patrol as well. The one she’s currently got on her cassette player.

It’s kind of funny she appears to be such a big fan yet hasn’t recognized me. Especially when I’m sitting on the cassette player box right next her. I don’t blame her though. I probably look much different without the spandex.

“Oh! No I’m just planing my route.” She laughs, “but thank you.”

“No big deal.” I tell her,then I point to the tape in the player.

“Great band aren’t they?”

“Night Ranger?” She asks, “yes the best.”

“Are you going to the show tomorrow?” I ask her, curious.

“You could say that yes.” She laughs, “Are you a fan?”

“You could say I am yes.” I tell her. I don’t like being full of myself and going ‘I’m Jack Blades the bassist and singer of the band’. It’s okay not everyone needs to know who I am. I also don’t want to come off as full of myself. Especially not to someone as pretty as she is, that’s the last thing I’d want her thinking of me.

“Well I really should get going.” She tells me with a smile.

“It was nice meeting you.” I tell her and I mean that I’m hoping I can see her tomorrow so I can give her a backstage pass.

“I was nice meeting you too.” She smiles as she drives off. Well shes someone I’m not going to forget for a while.

#the bitchs fics #the bitchs writing #jack blades fanfiction

[astragreenwoode]

The Spitfire Curse - Chapter Four

Previous: Chapter Three • Next: Chapter Five • Masterlist • AO3 Version

Rating: Explicit (18+ ONLY)

Pairings: Billy Hargrove x Fem!OC (Only Mentioned)

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Non-specified Mental Illness, Self-Harm, Drug Use, Hypersexuality, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Hearing Voices

Genre: Adventure, Thriller, Horror, Slow-Burn Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Smut, Fluff, Slight Canon-Divergence, Fix-it fic

As always, thank you @take-everything-you-can for your beta reading and all your feedback!

Chapter Four: Filled With A Distrust In Authority

Word Count: 8,374

Chapter Warnings: Disembodied Voices, Police Brutality, Anxiety, Self-Deprecating Thoughts, Assault, References to Murder and other Criminal Activities, Mentions of Drug Use, Self-Harm, Mental Illness

Chapter Summary: Maeven reflects on her relationship with cops before her nerve-wracking meeting with the police chief of Hawkins, who turns out to be the complete opposite of what she expected.

June 1982

Billy and I had our fair share of run-ins with the cops. I can count on both hands the times we were caught smoking weed, trespassing in abandoned buildings, or fooling around in his Camaro. We were only arrested or put in a holding cell twice, but it was twice too many times. Mom and Dad gave me hour-long lectures that ended up with me running to my room and slamming the door on them as I yelled back, “I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

I never used to do that before.

I wasn’t always frightened of cops. Up until I learned about the Gay Liberation Movement from my uncle, I saw them as people I could trust with my life and safety. But even then, I always felt some uneasiness shaking up my body. Even though I knew I was supposedly ‘safe,’ their presence filled me with a fear similar to the kind when I would get in trouble with a teacher when I didn’t even understand what I did wrong. 

After my uncle told me his story of being in so many protests and what cops did to people like him, like me, my seemingly pointless fear of authority figures was validated. This wasn’t long after I had my first kiss with a girl in Middle School.

Even if this sudden realization made my life feel on edge from there on out, something that was constant during this period in my life was my Dad; I never felt unsafe with him. And I had a better understanding with him about why he’d have Max and I favor him instead of the cops in terms of our safety. The waters of doubt became clearer after I was arrested for the first time.

My friend, Emily Bernard, was my first ever kiss and almost girlfriend, but we were awkward with each other whenever we weren’t making out. Her brother, Jordan, was my first-ever boyfriend. He was my first everything. On one hand, being his girlfriend kept me safe from the possible bullying I’d get if it got out that I liked girls. On the other hand, I genuinely did like Jordan. Being with a guy could be just as charismatic and breathtaking as being with a girl.

Sure, he was a bit clueless and headstrong, but he meant well. He was reckless with himself for fun, and I was always the one to talk him out of making bad decisions. It was exhausting at times, but we really enjoyed each others’ company. I was naive enough to think that maybe, just maybe, we’d be together forever. Maybe it was my inner child still trying to hold onto that fantastical hope that disappeared the older you get. Maybe it was my brain telling me how much I needed close bonds like this in order to survive, the way animals do in the wild. But I wasn’t a princess. I wasn’t an animal. I wasn’t in a fairytale. Life wasn’t perfect.

When I was a freshman in high school, two years into our relationship, I found out that Jordan cheated on me. He was my first heartbreak, the last first he’d ever be to me. Even when he tried to deflect my anger toward the girl he hooked up with, I stayed mad at him. He was the one in a relationship. Jordan could’ve simply told her that, but he didn’t. It was the fact that he chose not to that made me so mad, and it was insulting to try and make himself out as the victim.

After a week of burying my heartache in ice cream and horror movie marathons with Max and a month of avoiding eye contact with Jordan at school, I went to his house to drop off a box of his things we kept in my room. I was also hoping to get my stuff from his room in return. It was what adults did; it was the mature thing to do. I had come to terms with our breakup and was ready to move on.

But we weren’t adults; we were kids. And more often than not, kids are villainously petty. The day I came back to the Bernard family home to return Jordan’s things, I went from mature to petty in a flash. It was a cool summer night as I was about to ring the doorbell, I heard Jordan curse out in the backyard.

“OW! GODDAMIT!”

When I trailed around the house, I found him tripping over a bundle of tree branches. He was really good at building fires. We used to camp a lot. As soon as I saw I box with all my things I left with him next to the roaring fire pit, I lost my shit. It was the first time I heard the jumbled voice that taunted me with intrusive thoughts and impulsiveness.

They told me, “Fuck being the bigger person! He’s about to burn all your shit! Are you gonna let him get away with that, Maeven?”

Without even realizing it, I snuck up on Jordan so that the next time he turned around, he’d scream and fall backward. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

He screamed like your average horror movie victim; it was probably the reason he didn’t like to watch them with me. Jordan could be tough and headstrong in certain situations but was a clumsy scaredy-cat once he stepped outside of them.

“Oh, hey, Mae-Mae! Hi, uhmmm, what. . .what’re you doing here?”

“You don’t get to fucking call me that, Jordan! Not anymore! So, I’ll ask you again; what the hell are you doing?!”

As he awkwardly looked me up and down, he frantically gathered the branches and threw them into the fire pit with some old clothes I didn’t recognize. It must’ve been for kindling.

“What’re you doing here?”

I rolled my eyes. Did he honestly think I was that stupid? Did he not see the completely obvious box of his things I had in my hands?

“I asked you first,” I sneered at him. He jumbled on his words momentarily, making random vowels and sounds before straightening his train of thought.

“Spring cleaning?” He gave me a nervous smile that said ‘please buy it,’ as he began sweating.

“It’s June, and that’s a fire,” I pointed out.

His pupils dilated with panic as he stood up before a lame attempt was made to hide my box of stuff behind his dumbass legs as if I hadn’t already seen it. One of my worst pet peeves of his was how he refused to admit when he was cold. I rarely saw him out of shorts.

“My turn. What’re you doing here?”

“I was gonna be the bigger person and return the stuff you left at my house before proceeding to never speak to you again.” I gestured to the box of his things in my grasp before placing my hand on my hip and tilting my head.

“Good for you, Maeven. I’m proud of you,” he said so matter-of-factly. I could tell he was bursting with the energy he needed to make a run for the house.

“Yeah. But now. . .now I’m having second thoughts.”

The closest thing to Jordan shitting his pants was his heart dropping into his stomach. He had never seen me this angry before, but I had been bottling up all the bullshit he made me endure these past two years.

“Really? Why is that?” 

If it were possible, he’d fill a barrel of nervous sweat like an old cartoon.

“Because you’re burning my shit, Jordan! That’s why!” I almost cut him off, my intrusive thoughts and instinct response jumping against his verbal attack.

“No I wasn’t,” he defended himself, surprisingly calm. “Can I have my box back now?”

Yes. This was the hill I was willing to die on.

“I don’t know, Jordan! Can I have my virginity back?!”

The world around us suddenly went deadly silent and laced with tension. Jordan’s eyes widened in shock, but he remained speechless. If I’d been able to see beyond my anger at his betrayal, I would’ve noticed the small changes in his body that indicated when his heart split in half.

“I didn’t even burn it, yet!” he whined.

“But you were going to,” I clarified. His eyes widened as he realized he was caught red-handed in a lie.

“. . .shit.”

As if he was an animal using its defense mechanisms, he took one of the branches out of the fire pit and swung it at me, hitting my arm as the flames burnt my skin. It felt like someone pushed me into a hot grill.

“Are. . .you. . .SERIOUS?!?!”

My face scrunched up in anger as I subconsciously threw his box on the fire pit. I didn’t feel the pain in my knuckles until after it collided with his face; at least it didn’t hurt as much as my arm burned. It shouldn’t have felt as good as it did to see him clutching his face on the grass like that as he pinched his nose to stop the flow of blood. He was pathetic before, but he looked even more so now.

“What’re you two idiots doing??” Emily yelled at us as she stood on the porch.

“I’m not an idiot!” Jordan and I yelled in unison.

“Right,” she rolled her eyes. “Hey, Idiot and Maeven. Knock it off.”

I let out a laugh so unnecessarily loud, making me feel even better than before now that I knew at least someone was on my side. . .for now.

“Whose side are you on??” Jordan whined again, getting up to walk towards the porch to his sister.

“Let’s see who wins first, then I’ll decide,” she replied.

“She burnt my stuff, Em!” he yelled, using his now blood-covered hand to point at me like a tattling toddler. “Skating and rock music have driven her to violence!”

I walked right up to him as he backed off like a cornered rabbit. I got up right in his face as I narrowed my eyes.

“You were gonna burn my stuff first, Jordan! And the only thing that has driven me to violence is you, you small-dicked son of a bitch!”

At my last syllable, he stumbled backward on his feet and knocked the back of his head on the wooden railing of the porch.

“HA!” Emily laughed before covering her mouth with her hand.

Jordan got up almost immediately and towered over me, ready to defend his honor.

“I told you never to mention that!” he yelled, shoving my shoulders, forcing me to step back from him a bit. I turned my eyes toward Emily.

“Will you please talk some sense into your lunatic of a brother!?”

She exhaustedly groaned, tilting her head up to the sky.

“You’re both acting like lunatics! And if you don’t knock it the hell off, someone’s gonna call the cops!”

In her defense, we were pretty loud.

“Fine. I’ll go as soon as you apologize and give me back my stuff,” I said, turning my head to Jordan. He had gotten what he deserved. I burnt his stuff, gave him a bloody nose, and announced the size of his dick to his whole neighborhood. That should’ve satisfied me, I should’ve known when to walk away, but I didn’t.

“Apologize?!” he laughed in my face. “I don’t have to apologize for anything, Maeven! You punched me in the face and burnt my shit! And technically, you don’t get a say in what I do with ‘your’ shit. You left it at my house, therefore, it's mine.”

I considered punching him again, but I didn’t. It would’ve landed me in more trouble than I already was about to be in.

“There she is! Right there!”

I turned around to see Mr. Bernard pointing his finger at me, two cops behind him as they stomped their way toward me. One of them took out their set of handcuffs.

“Dad?” Emily asked him. “What’re you doing?!”

“Oh, shit-AAAHH!!”

Before I knew it, one of the cops shoved me in the chest and sent me falling backward on the grass. My head collided with the ground and made my ears ring as I tried to find my bearings.

The one without the handcuffs aggressively turned me over onto my stomach before proceeding to push his knee into the small of my back. It forced the air out of my stomach and lungs. My brain tried to force my body to move, but I was frozen in place. I understood now that it was my body’s way of keeping me safe; it knew better than my head that I couldn’t fight this situation.

“What the hell!? I didn’t do anything!”

He shoved my head into the grass with his hand as his partner bound my hands. They hauled me up by the chain of the cuffs as they dug into my wrists, roughly grabbing my arms as they dragged me away.

“You’re under arrest for domestic violence and destruction of property. You have the right to remain silent-”

I blocked them out and turned my eyes to the Bernards.

“You’re arresting me for a bloody nose and a bad breakup?!” I scoffed. “Are you fucking kidding me?! He’s the one who burnt me!”

I couldn’t prove it, but I swear that one of them dug his fingers into the fresh burn on my arm. My feet refused to move as they dragged me along the grass from the backyard to their squad car; it was hard to believe this was really happening. It certainly wasn’t necessary for them to be this aggressive with a 5’4 fifteen-year-old girl.

“Dad, what’re you doing?!” Emily yelled behind me.

I could hear them trailing behind us as one of the cops kicked at my feet, forcing me to stand and walk with them.

“She assaulted him! It’s the least she deserves!” Mr. Bernard replied to his daughter.

“Dad, it’s just a bloody nose! I’m fine! Just let her go!”

That was certainly a surprise. It was the first time I heard Jordan show any type of courage. Even after I burnt his things and punched him, he wanted to help me.

“Maeven, it’s gonna be fine! I’ll call your mom!”

“What?! No!” I turned to Emily as the cops pushed me into the back of the car. “She’ll kill me! Call my Dad!”

“I don’t have his number!”

“Fuck! Okay, just. . .just don’t worry about it, Em. Okay?” I yelled through the glass. “Don’t call anyone. I’ll call him when I get there.”

As they drove me away to the station, I wasn’t certain of it, but I thought I could see Jordan mouthing ‘I’m sorry’ to me. I shut my eyes and did my best to put my mind anywhere else but here. I wasn’t being arrested. This wasn’t happening. I was with my Dad and my sister in the woods. We were having fun. Everything was fine. It felt like heaven.

That trick never worked, but I still try it to this day.

A week later, I found my box of stuff returned to me on the front steps of my house, along with a note I didn’t have the strength to read. Jordan was officially the bigger person in this equation.

. . .

Without his morning cup of coffee, Jim Hopper couldn’t comprehend the busy sounds of the police station; the ringing of the phones, Flo’s daily notifications about his upcoming meetings, and the occasional pats on his back for just being present before noon. The small coffee machine was a gift from God, he convinced himself. A sip from the strong, fresh-brewed cup of coffee melted away all his sleep deprivation, muscle tension, and lingering hangover; as well as the headache from taking care of a certain little girl whom he shared his cabin with.

Taking a seat at his desk, his vision cleared and focused as he stared into his cup as he added his desired amount of sugar and a splash of the thick creamer. Hopper faced the tower of manilla folders, stacked as high as they could go without tipping over. He flipped open the folder on top before being interrupted by a rapid knock at the door.

“What?” he groaned out. There was never a moment of peace around here.

“Well, good morning to you, too, Hop. Or should I say ‘afternoon?’” Flo let out a laugh. She flopped yet another Manilla file on his desk right in front of him, almost tipping over his coffee. The digital clock on his desk read 3:26 PM in red letters.

“Flo, why would you do that? Can you seriously not see the big stack right next to me?” he whined, palming his face and rubbing his eyes with both hands. Flo rolled her eyes.

“This might just be my personal opinion, Hop, but if you didn’t spend most nights drinking and your mornings nursing your hangovers, maybe that damn stack wouldn’t be as tall as the Empire State Building,” she retorted back at him, hand on her hip.

“You’ve never been out of Hawkins, Flo. How do you know how big the Empire State Building is?”

“Just read the damn file, smartass. It’s the most recent one, anyway. You got a meeting with them in about a half hour, so study up.” Flo had worked with him long enough to know he needed a playfully harsh nudge to get his ass going in the morning. She wasn’t gonna let him get off that easy after showing up late and only working for a couple of hours. And Hopper thought it was the coffee that did it.

Before strutting her way out of his office, she turned to him once more for a final note. “Also, you’re four o’clock is running behind, so don’t expect to be out of here before five tonight, you big oaf,” Flo added, one hand on the doorknob while the other pushed up her glasses. Hopper softly banged his head against the top of his desk in response, pointing to the hot cup of coffee in his fist.

“You want this open or closed?” she laughed out.

“Closed.”

Flo left the door halfway open; a compromise.

The Chief picked his head up and let out a long and therapeutic groan, blindly opening the folder in front of him. He kept his eyes closed for a short moment of calm to officially prepare himself for the rest of the day, however long that ended up being. The contents of the now open file caught his eye, as it was faxed to him all the way from San Diego. How did someone end up in the back-forty of Indiana from the busy city streets in California?

Margaret Maeven Mayfield, it read, a month away from turning eighteen. Hopper could’ve sworn he had heard ‘Mayfield’ somewhere before. It sounded like a distantly blurred name of someone from his military days. Now wide awake, he actually took his time to thoroughly read it in all its details instead of just skimming over the fine print to get each case knocked out as soon as possible. ‘Maeven’ was certainly a unique choice for a middle name. He wondered what it meant.

Despite being reported as being intimidatingly smart and well-behaved by all the staff at her old school and the San Diego police, Margaret had made quite the case for herself as a rebel. Her first arrest was when she was fifteen. The charges, in order, were Domestic Violence, Destruction of Property, Drug Possession, Vandalism, Public Indecency, Public Intoxication, Assault, Inciting a Riot, and Manslaughter. What was even more enticing was that most of all these charges were dropped against the girl, and she was sentenced to community service instead of jail time. Apparently, she was very enthusiastic about her punishment and was rewarded for her work by the community. Who does that? Certainly, not anyone Hopper knows.

Her mugshot emanated an unsettling tone of both heartbreak and terror. She was randomly splashed with blood as she held her name up in front of her, her eyes sunken in. They were dark, both in and under, but still wide as if she had just come face-to-face with the devil himself. She looked so scared. Margaret had a past as wild as Hopper’s entire life had been, and she hadn’t even finished High School yet; expelled from School after her assault, a history of fighting and drug problems, and three months in an In-Patient Mental Institution was enough to grab anyone’s attention, let alone a Police Officer’s. 

He knew appearances could be deceiving, but the known victim and suspected criminal looked nothing more than a scared little kid. It reminded Hopper of the Munson boy; practically stolen after his mother’s overdose, both done by the hands of his father, Al Munson. Poor little Eddie just got dealt the wrong cards and had no choice but to accept his place in society as the future resident burnout, both put in place and enforced by the league soccer moms in Hawkins. Hopper wasn’t sure any kid deserved that, even if Munson and Maeven weren’t really kids, anymore. How could someone so young and full of life be accused of so many horrific things?

Jim let his mind wander for a moment back to the times when he himself was a dumb teenager who didn’t know any better. Under the young girl’s circumstances, he could definitely see how and why wrongful accusations could be made against her. He saw himself in the file; a misunderstood kid from the other side of town guilty of nothing but defying their ‘destiny’ and tainting their reputation as a straight-laced good kid. In small towns like Hawkins, you cross a certain street and it’s like a whole other world; divided between the shabby cabins and trailer parks with the so-called ‘town bums’ and the suburbian paradise the soccer moms and their nuclear families shielded themselves within.

The ringing of the phone interrupts Hopper’s thoughts, and he’s suddenly now aware of how he’s been studying the Mayfield file for so long that the red digits on the clock suddenly read 4:32 PM. He huffed out a long sigh before picking up the phone and pressing it to his ear.

“What d'ya got for me, Flo?”

“Mrs. Hargrove and her daughter are here. Should I send ‘em in, or are you still nursing that hangover?”

“Yeah, yeah, send ‘em down. . .smartass.”

. . .

Maeven missed her long hair.

As a child, she wanted nothing more than to have what she, Max, and her parents dubbed ‘princess hair.’ Rapunzel was always her favorite, and she had complained multiple times that the Walt Disney Company was yet to make a movie about her. But she always pictured herself being a wild princess who runs through the woods with leaves and twigs in her hair.

It took her a while to learn how to properly take care of it. She was always so sad when it had to be cut shorter; a result of her failed attempts to grow it out ending in a barrage of too many tangles and knots. After a few too many cuts than she was comfortable with, Maeven finally grew old and patient enough to settle into a good hair-care routine when she was around ten years old.

She loved having so many ways to flaunt her wavy red locks; ponytails, pigtails, braids, and buns. But her favorite way to wear it was to just let it flow down past her shoulders, below her breasts, stopping at the small of her back, so wild and free. Maeven loved the way her partners stroked or tugged on it whenever she was intimate with them. Billy once told her when he fucked her on his lap that running his hands through her hair felt like he was touching the setting sun. 

Having Maeven’s hair draped across his body like a silk curtain was one of the only places he felt truly safe. Of course, he had never admitted it aloud to her. It was partially to keep up his tough reputation, but he also didn’t feel like he needed to tell her. Maeven already knew, he could tell. She was always good at reading him.

Maeven’s hair was always the first thing people noticed about her. It was the first thing they noticed about Max and their Mom, too. Besides the blue eyes and the freckles, it was the Mayfield ladies’ defining feature. It was why everyone was so disappointed when she cut it all off so suddenly. One night last February, she woke up from yet another nightmare, a flashback, that someone chased her, hunted her down like a wild animal, and caught her by her hair.

New Year's Eve, 1983 ruined a lot of things for her; parties, drugs, nighttime, and outside, just to name a few. But the worst part of it was no longer feeling safe in her own body. It was the feeling that she was no longer safe being herself. So, acting on sheer impulse and instinct, Maeven took the sewing shears from her mother’s craft room and hastily cut off her long ginger locks until her hair ended up choppy, just below her ears. 

She wasn’t sure if she should’ve felt sad at what she had done to herself, or feel relieved now that the cause of her paranoia was severed from her head. All she did know was that she had one less thing to worry about; one less thing that people liked to take advantage of. She didn’t want to be hunted, anymore. She was a little bit safer. . .for now, Even though her emotions weren’t certain, she still cried her eyes out that night.

After letting it grow a bit and finally evening it out, Maeven did her best to embrace her new look. She just decided that she wasn’t going to look at herself in the bathroom mirror unless she absolutely had to brush her hair or put on makeup. It was easier that way; less painful. As the cold, autumn wind passed through Hawkins and made the back of her neck chill that she missed her former length the most. It helped that she never needed a scarf in the winter, as she could always use her hair to cover her neck.

Maeven scratched the back of her neck, running her fingertips over her hairline and short fuzz to soothe herself. She twirled her short locks around her finger and pulled hard; a not-so-healthy way to cure her boredom and keep her anxiety occupied. It was times like this she regretted cutting away her hair the most. The times when she wanted nothing more than to hide her face behind her firey red locks and just sink into herself. 

She had slowly gotten used to the constant presence of police since her first arrest at fifteen and all the times that followed afterward. Whatever name you give them, cops, police, pigs, dicks, every officer of the law was different in their own way. Maeven had met maybe a handful of them who actually seemed concerned for her well-being and genuinely wanted to help her. That didn’t make their looming presence any less threatening to her. More often than not, they were the kind to attack first and ask questions later. 

Since being discharged from inpatient psychiatric treatment, Maeven did her hardest to appear non-threatening and be on her best behavior, especially around the police. She steered clear of them. Even though she tended to steer clear of everyone these days, she avoided confrontation with police especially. With all the charges that had been brought against her in the years following her first arrest, Maeven knew that whatever was on her permanent record, it wasn’t a flattering portrayal.

The treatment program she went to maybe have helped her with a lot of her many mental issues, but Maeven still felt broken. Even if she recovered, she didn’t feel quite like a human again, and she secretly wished she could just change. It didn’t matter what or who. Honestly? She wouldn’t mind being a rock or a dying star, an animal or an insect. It wasn’t important to her. All that mattered was that she wouldn’t feel like this; being a human was a messy, painful merry-go-round of inconsistencies. It wasn’t worth it, anymore.

Maeven wasn’t sure exactly what was keeping her alive. She felt it getting stronger once they moved to Hawkins, and she was determined to find it. But, for now, her life would just be a mundane and painful routine of various medications, her many coping skills that ranged from healthy to unhealthy, visits with cops and therapists, and trying to stop herself from getting in her own way. It was working. . .slowly. But that's the thing about healing; it isn’t always linear.

She didn’t even hear the receptionist call to her and her mom until she felt her grab her hand in an attempt to bring her daughter along to, . .

“Wait. . .where are we again?” Maeven thought allowed, not even realizing it until her mom looked at her with wide eyes, a mixture of disappointment and concern. It hurt to look at.

“The Police Station, Maevey. You have a meeting, remember?”

Maeven said nothing, her brain still catching up with the rest of the world and the concept of time. She dug her sharply manicured nails into her palms, taking a moment to swallow her anxiety down before smiling and nodding at her mom.

“That’s right,” Maeven silently remembered. After the tour of the school, Neil dropped her and Susan off at the police station. Billy took Max to the arcade and he was no doubt killing time by using the back roads of Hawkins like his own personal race track.

“You were disassociating again, bitch,” the voice scolded.

As her mom gently tugged her along toward the Chief’s office, Maeven felt like the world around her was growing smaller. Technically it was; the walls narrowed as Susan led her down the hallway from the front desk. It wasn’t long at all, or even that narrow. But that’s how it felt.

Susan Hargrove, on the other hand, walked in front of her daughter like she owned the place. Another flaw of Neil’s that rubbed off on her. Maeven wasn’t sure if she should feel scared or safe. She hadn’t felt like she needed her mom’s guidance and protection since she was little. Were either of the Mayfield women themselves, anymore?

Her mom stood halfway through the threshold of the Chief’s office as Maeven mentally prepared herself to remain calm in front of him. This man had access to her file; a collection of her worst moments where she was decided to be bad by people who didn’t know her. He had the power to use everything in that file to make her life worse if he wanted to. It all depended on his impression of her, on whether or not she can do a good job convincing him that she wasn’t the person those documents painted her as.

“I take it you’re Mrs. . .Hargrove? I thought it was ‘Mayfield?’”

“That was my last husband’s name, Mr. Hopper. I remarried this year,” Susan promptly corrected him. Hopper’s eyebrows raised as his eyes narrowed.

“Another Suburban Soccer Mom. Go figure,” he thought to himself.

“Alright, then. C’mon in and have a seat, ladies. I don’t bite,” Hopper gestured to the chairs facing his desk.

“Yeah. You might not bite. But what about you, Maevey?”

Maeven didn’t acknowledge the voice this time but crossed her arms around her middle to hug herself. 

She rounded the corner and looked at the Chief. Hopper looked like someone her dad would get along with. Not the sleazy, sexist drunk ones who hovered around him in San Francisco. Out of his police garb, Maeven predicted that he’d be someone’s dad or cool uncle who takes you fishing or cooks you a classic American breakfast. She took a seat next to her mother in her matching leather office chair. The urge to play with and pick at the tears and cracks was annoyingly strong.

Maeven sat so that both her hands were tucked under both her legs, hidden underneath her skirt. She didn’t want her mom to draw any more unnecessary attention to her fidgeting. That was embarrassing.

Hopper couldn’t help but stare at the nervous girl in front of him. She was definitely smaller than he expected, maybe because of the way she carried herself as if she was trying to disappear. No matter how many years he had under his belt as an officer, the cases that involved kids never got easier. In fact, they had only gotten more difficult in the last year. Between Will going missing in a whole nother goddamn dimension and suddenly becoming a parent to a girl again, Jim had a lot to adjust to, lately. And it seemed like he certainly wasn’t the only one.

This girl was too impossibly young to know grief this large. Yet, here she sits in front of him. And even if her files were up to date, Jim had his doubts. He knew that looks could be deceiving, but Margaret Mayfield didn’t look or act like a criminal, much less a bad person. There was just no way.

“So. . .what brings you in today?”

For once, Maeven decided not to count the stains on the carpet or the scratches on the Chief’s desk. Not that she wanted to talk to him, but she just didn’t want to be silent and awkward anymore. In the past, the cops she dealt with before interpreted her silence as a threat, or a confession of her guilt. And she left the school tour feeling oddly confident after meeting Nancy and Steve.

Of course, her mother just had to speak for her. 

“My husband called in and spoke with your receptionist, Flora, to make sure you got my daughter’s file from Captain Daly down in San Diego. We just moved here, and we wanna make sure she has a. . .a good relationship with the law enforcement here so that she hopefully doesn’t repeat her past mistakes,” she explained, finishing with a smile on her face.

Susan grew a little too used to assuming Maeven’s feelings. It was fine at the beginning when she at least asked for her permission via a silent nod, but it was more often than not that she just took over and micromanaged the conversation.

“Well, now she just has to pay. Go on, now.”

“No, no, no. Please just stop. Please.”

It took a moment for Jim to process what just happened. He didn’t blame Susan’s daughter for looking at her the way she did, with such frustration and annoyance as she bounced her leg. The psychiatric evaluation in her file did say she suffered from anxiety. Hopper wouldn’t be surprised if this girl listed her mother as a stressor.

“Y’know, I’d actually prefer to speak with Margaret alone, if you wouldn’t minds, Mrs. Hargrove?”

The very thought of her mother leaving the room for a little while lowered the tenseness in Maeven’s shoulders and the air suddenly return to her lungs. She tried not to let it show too much, though. Her mother developed a tendency to notice the little changes whenever her mood fluctuated. No matter how infuriating Susan acted sometimes, the thought of hurting her feelings still broke the young girl’s heart to think about. It was both an impressive and scary hidden talent, like a lighthouse with a giant eye as the light.

“Maybe you should sketch that. It’d look cool,” the voice suggested. Maeven fought the urge to reach for her sketchbook. She could already see the picture in her mind’s eye.

Susan paused for a moment as she processed the Chief’s request.

“Oh. . .sure! Of course! No problem, I. . .” Susan stood up from the chair and placed her hand gently on her daughter’s shoulder. “I’ll just be waiting outside, okay?” she reassured, her eyes turning sad when she looked at her.

Maeven blinked away her idea for a moment to give her mom a half-smile. 

“It’s okay, Mom. I’m fine,” she replied, her hand squeezing, then brushing her hand off her shoulder. Susan nodded before walking to the door.

“And it’s Flo, by the way. Not ‘Flora,’” Hop made sure to mention before she had a chance to close the door on her way out.

“Yes. . .of course,” Susan stuttered as she closed the office door. The silence that filled the room after it slammed wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable for once. In fact, it was oddly freeing.

“Thanks. I, uh. . .thank you,” Maeven squeaked out as she fidgeted with her hands just itching to reach for her backpack.

“No problem, kid,” Hopper chuckled before continuing. “My wife was the same way with me and my daughter. She just worries.”

Maeven said nothing, but nodded in understanding, making eye contact with the Chief for about two seconds before turning back to her lap. Hopper could already see that his theory about her being misunderstood in her reports proved to be correct already.

“So, Margaret. Or do you go by ‘Maggie?’” he asked

“No one calls me that,” she said softly. “It’s Maeven.”

Hopper’s eyes darted back to her file just out of her sight.

“Oh, your middle name. Alright. Sorry,” he reassured. But, again, Maeven said nothing.

“Okay, then. Well, welcome to Hawkins, first of all. You like it?”

“Yeah. It’s okay,” she muttered, bouncing her right leg while swinging the left.

“It takes a little getting used to,” Jim mentioned, continuing his attempt to coax this girl out of her shell. He couldn’t help her if she didn’t talk to him.

“Mmm-hmm. . .” Maeven nodded.

The Chief exhaled loudly through his nose in contemplation, suddenly noticing that her eyes were darting back and forth between her fidgeting hands and her backpack. What did she have in there that was so important? According to her file, Maeven could be nervous about drugs in her bag. Her behavior was, after all, common for a druggie, but Hopper didn’t think that to be the case. Still, he treads lightly.

“I see you eyeing your bag, there. Do you need something?”

Maeven’s eyes darted back to him for longer, this time, her demeanor that of a cornered animal unsure how to react.

“Sorry. Do you mind if I draw?” she asked, shaking her head as if to bring her back to herself.

“Draw? Why?” he asked.

“It, uhm. . .it helps with my restlessness and keeps me focused,” Maeven fumbled to explain herself, almost defensive about her hobby. Hopper shrugged.

“If you promise to answer my questions, I got no problem,” he admitted. He really didn’t care, just a little confused.

She gave him a soft smile before immediately reaching for her bag and pulling out a black sketchbook and a small pouch of pencils, pens, and markers. Swiftly, she turned to a fresh page and pulled out a red colored pencil.

“. . .thank you,” she muttered before getting to work.

“So. . .I got a call from Captain Daly all the way out in San Diego, and he filled me in on your. . .recent situation,” Hopper explained, pausing every so often to observe Maeven’s movements as she sketched. The way her hands moved the pencil across the page was random, both erratic and calm with no clear order or pattern, but still had a sort of rhythm. 

“Apparently, you had quite a reputation with your school and the law back over in California?”

At the mention of her past, Maeven’s drawing hand came to a dead stop, as if her mind was somewhere else and had to adjust to his words in her own way.

“He knows, Maeven. He knows how insane you are. One toe out of line and he’ll have you sent to an asylum. And you know what’ll happen then, right? You’ll never be seen again.”

“. . .yeah, I guess so,” Maeven admitted, trying her best to swallow her obvious fear of Daly before going back to her sketch. She had finished the basic outline of the lighthouse from a bottom perspective, continuing to draw a giant, graphic eyeball in place of the searchlight.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re too proud about it,” Jim observed.

“I’m not. I never was,” she defended, moving on from the iris to the veins. “I’m the complete opposite, actually.”

She brought the leg she was once swinging up to sit on the chair, almost melting into it. He chuckled softly. Now she was starting to act like a kid her age should.

“Do me a favor and keep your boots off my chair, Maeven.”

He wouldn’t have said anything if he knew that the girl would suddenly switch moods and sit the way a mother would nag her child to.

“Oh! Yes! Sorry, sir,” she apologized.

Hopper mentally scolded himself. She was just started to get comfortable with him and he had to go and ruin it with his big mouth and closed-minded understanding of manners.

“Have you dealt with a lot of law enforcement before, kid?”

“I. . .I don’t have any intention of causing any trouble, Officer, I promise.”

It was clear to him now that Maeven didn’t have an ideal relationship with cops. No doubt due to Captain Daly and his officers. Some of the reports of arrests in her file indicated that she fought(as any other kid would do in her situation) and the officers weren’t exactly.

“It sounds like Captain Daly gave you some hard times. I’m not gonna blame an officer for doing his job, handling your investigation.”

“I know. I don’t either. I know I wasn’t the. . .easiest person to handle,” she confessed, now sketching slowly, moving on to add the details of the lighthouse.

Her attitude toward the situation was delightfully humble, but just as depressing. It was always tragic to see someone so young also filled with so much pain. Jim turned back to her file and skimmed over a couple more pages that mentioned how she gradually started getting into more and more fights throughout the second semester of her failed Junior Year.

“It says here that you’ve had some. . .bad luck with others. And that you’ve dealt with behavioral issues. But you’re on medication now and have been managing your impulses.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded, not looking up from her page.

“That’s not something to be proud of, Maeven. You shouldn’t have to rely on pills to keep from hurting yourself and fucking everything with a heartbeat.” the voice scolded in her ear. 

“I don’t do that,” she argued against it, shaking her head free of those thoughts.

Hopper looked at her list of medications on her medical records, including the trials and tribulations of finding the right pills that worked for her. It couldn’t have felt too good to have to take that many pills so often.

“So. . .why don’t you tell me what happened, Maeven? Tell me about yourself,” he suggested as she relaxed her shoulders and continued to sketch. Jim didn’t want to pry. Even if it’d been a while since her incident and recovery process, she was still clearly fragile about it.

Maeven shrugged as she finished coloring the red roof of the lighthouse.

“What is there to know? You have my file. You know exactly what I am,” she pouted. It was strange to Jim that she could switch from being a mature young lady to a frustrated child so easily and quickly.

“No. I can’t really say I do,” he gently argued with her. After pausing to take a look at her sketch so far, Maeven shut her book, tapping and scratching her nails against the cover.

“Look, I know that I haven’t made a lot of good choices in the last few years. I know I’m pretty crazy, too. And I know that’s not an excuse and you have no reason to believe me, Sir, but I’m very sorry and I don’t wanna get in any kind of trouble again, and I-”

The longer she talked, the more discombobulated her movements became, and the more frantic and anxious Maeven appeared to Hopper. Her leg shakes as the tapping of her nails on her notebook turned more rapid. It became clearer to him that when Mr. Hargrove called in to say this girl was extremely fragile, he wasn’t kidding.

“Woah, okay. Just calm down, kid. Enough with the formalities,” Hopper held out his hands as he spoke as if trying to show an abused house pet that he meant no harm; the act made Maeven suddenly realized she needed to breathe in between sentences. 

“Stop calling me ‘sir,’ Maeven. ‘Makes me feel like a Grandpa,” he laughed, holding out his hand as he awaited a shake. “It’s Hopper. Jim Hopper. My friends call me ‘Hop.’”

“Okay, uhmm. . .Thank you, si-I mean Hop,” she tripped over her words as she accepted his offer for a friendly handshake. “Nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too, Miss Mayfield.”

It had been a while since Maeven interacted with an adult this way; just a casual, friendly interaction between two fellow adults. The chief’s handshake was firm with respect and emanated a familiar warmth. It reminded her of her Dad.

“Don’t worry. I won’t make too big a deal about this. I won’t let your troubles follow you into Hawkins if that’s what you want. But that also depends on you and your choices from here on out, you understand?”

“I do, yes,” Maeven smiled, feeling a small sense of pride that she thought died on New Year’s.

“Thought so. You seem like a smart kid. Took a look at your grades from Newport. Said you almost broke some record at their school for scoring so high on the SATs.”

“Yeah. . .it’s not that big of a deal,” she laughed, humbling herself again as she looked down at her tapping nails on her sketchbook.

“It is in Hawkins, kid. Trust me,” Hopper playfully argued. He wasn’t exactly wrong, either. Even back when he went to High School, a lot of his graduating class was made up of jackasses that didn’t know their ass from their elbow. The more academic ones ended up leaving Hawkins for better opportunities. Joyce could’ve been one of those people, too. But she was happy where she was. That was the kind of future he knew Maeven could reach. She was too good for this place.

 “Not a lot of our kids have that kind of potential. I’m sure you’re gonna be fine,” he finished.

Maeven wanted to accept his compliment, but the voice inside her wouldn’t let her. 

“He’s lying to you. He’s just trying to be nice,” it taunted, disguising it as a warning, she was sure.

“So, we both know what your file says. But I wanna hear it firsthand. You wanna tell me about what happened to you?”

Again, Maeven could only speculate what was in that manilla folder. She remembered a meeting with Captain Daly and her mother where he slammed her case file on the table of the interrogation room. She couldn’t bare to look at it. It was painful enough watching Susan read it through the gasps and sobs. She was sure that reading it herself would tear her very soul apart more than it already had been.

“He already knows. Stop buying pointless time and just get it over with. It’ll be easier.”

Chief Hopper wasn’t Captain Daly, though. He wasn’t like any of the other police she dealt with in the past. The ones who blamed her for her fate and tried to turn her into the villain. The ones who didn’t hesitate to draw their weapons on her when they found her bleeding and begging for help in the forest.

No. Hopper was different. Maeven knew he couldn’t fully comprehend what she went through. She lived through what most people would find unimaginable. But Hopper at least had more empathy and a sense of emotional intelligence than any cop she’d crossed paths with.

“Uhm. . .I’d rather not, if that’s okay? Not yet, at least.” she asked, hoping her instincts were right, switching from tapping her sketchbook to scratching the back of her hands

Hopper frowned at the sight. Maeven’s nails were so sharp that her hands were red and threatening to break out in blood.

“I get it,” Hopper said to her. “It’s the first meeting. You’re a little on edge. I have you back here next Sunday, right?”

At the sound of his voice, Maeven ceased her scratching.

“Mmm-hmm,” she nodded, letting out a sigh of relief at his understanding. Hopper returned her nod before handing her a slip of paper he had just signed; a weekly attendance sheet that she would eventually show to her mom and Neil so they’d know she was ‘improving.’ She would probably get another one from the school counselor tomorrow.

“Just focus on getting yourself adjusted to Hawkins for the next seven days and then we can talk about your. . .situation,” Jim told her, once again treading lightly.

“I can do that,” Maeven agreed, tucking the piece of paper beneath the cover of her sketchbook.

“Alright, kid. You’re dismissed,” the chief said with a small wave of his hand. “Besides, I’m sure your mom’s probably anxious not having you around,” he joked, sure of himself that he wasn’t overexaggerating.

Maeven slipped her book and pencils back into her backpack before zipping it shut, scrambling out of her seat as she walked towards the door and pulled the knob. Before exiting, she took one last look at the Chief, still glancing at her file.

“Officer Hopper?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. I. . .I really appreciate it,” she stuttered out.

“Anytime, Maeven,” Jim smiled back at her. As he watched her leave his office, he couldn’t help but be reminded of the little girl who awaited his return at his cabin in the woods. El and Maeven would get along well.

. . .

A/N: Sorry for the delay in this chapter coming out. I had to split it up so it wouldn't be too long. That doesn't necessarily mean that I don't like writing chapters at a longer length, but 20-25 pages is my comfort zone. I usually start by just outlining a chapter with all the dialogue I want to include and build the actions and descriptions around that.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! The next one shouldn't take as long as this one did as I already have all the dialogue written out for it. I'm writing both chapters five and six at once. Please be sure to leave some kudos and comments, as they are my lifeblood and are incredibly helpful whenever I need inspiration. I'm glad that people seem to be resonating with Maeven. She's definitely the hardest I've worked on when it comes to all the characters I've created over the years.

The Spitifre Curse Taglist:

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#stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #my writing #the spitfire curse #stranger things fanfic #stranger things oc #maeven mayfield #max mayfield #billy hargrove #jim hopper #el hopper #st fandom #stranger things fandom #billy hargrove x reader #the party #scoops troop #hellfire club #eddie munson x reader #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #eddie munson #2023

[nightglider124]

Just finished new episode of Titans…

Oooooo things be getting interesting 👀

This episode seemed to pick things up a little bit more than last week. Last week defo felt very filler-ish.

Some points:

Omg the whole zombie bit was fucking hilarious 😂 Jinx’s commentary about it was funny and then Gar and Tim being all like yay when Connor decapitated Deathstroke and then being like naaaay when he got back up?? 😂😂 that whole scene was funny af.

I do not enjoy the foreshadowing of Kory having a role in all this. Like im bypassing the fact its central to Rachel and Sebastian too cos like Kory is my girl. The fairytale book and the fact her powers were not working in the zombie bit. Also, the fact MM or Gina was like ‘I don’t think the tamaranean will like her part’ like excuse the fuck me pls do not touch her thanks. I know they said like Kory gets hurt but like i am v much not looking forward to that at all. Like, how hurt we talking? Coma? I also really don’t wanna be Kory-less for half an episode of smth when she gets hurt unless the whole time Dick is gonna be foaming at the mouth in rage, ya feel me?

I do not understand Jinx’s powers at all like since when can she morph into other people?? I genuinely don’t know her abilities- i only ever knew of her character from the 2003 cartoon which was purely ‘bad luck’. But in Titans, I am assuming she’s just witch all round…

Interesting that they did flashbacks, showing us the story of Sebastian and MM and how she became the villain like she was clearly cracked anyway since she was straight into that cult w/o a second thought. It was a good choice, I think. She was a character who I didn’t mind finding out the backstory unlike the needless eps in previous seasons where we really didn’t need them.

Connor, whatcha doin there buddy?? You good?! I think i’d be a bit freaked if i puked up blood and a snake but something tells me he be getting controlled. Again interesting since in the comics, Dick is the one who ends up getting brainwashed by CoB so I am curious if they are swapping Dick for Connor in the show or if Dick will be brainwashed at some later stage or something.

Again, y’all I am v scared for Kory… like I know she doesn’t die but I also do not want her hurt like I will feel as feral as the team.

I know they gave Jinx the past romance etc but she really does scream snarky annoying lil sister vibes? 😂

I like that they’ve come full circle from s1 or at least I like the fact they have made them link. It feels less like they were making it up as they went along, even if they were.

I am extremely rolling my eyes at Dick for brushing off Kory’s visions like bitch your misses defo has a point here?? I get Dick doesn’t believe in visions and destinies etc whereas Kory wholeheartedly does but that makes it worse for when Kory gets hurt and we BEST get a scene of Dick being like fuck i shoulda listened to her about that.

I am greedy I know but I really want more romance realisation for Dick and Kory like the waiting is putting me on edge. I have a feeling Kory will get hurt in the latter part of the season. I was on insta looking back at when they were filming and when they were filming the vision of Mar’i, there was word of it being the second to last episode and we are all assuming she has the vision of them when she is hurt? I’m like I swear to God, we best not be getting dickkory in literally the last two eps (i am aware of the date scene so yay) cos at this rate, they won’t actually have any romance til s5 which is looking unlikely to be renewed for…

However, I did like the fact that Dick still spent majority of the time with Kory. She is literally always beside him as well as whenever they split or team up, Dick seems to always have Kory with him. Tis cute. I also liked when they were barricading themselves, Dick was like yeah me and kory will take the doors and its like bro was that just cos she is sick in hand to hand combat cos like you saw her powers doing fuck all so whats the thought process behind that??

I think that’s all my thoughts on the episode this week. It was good; better story wise than last week, imo. I’m excited/scared for next weeks ep since they were like yeah dickkory fans are gonna be screaming… good screaming like they get it on at a motel since we defo saw bts of a motel? Or bad screaming like Kory is gonna get messed up by CoB? WHICH IS IT??

I defo don’t think its next weeks ep that we will be seeing Kory’s vision of Mar’i and Dick tho 🤔

#titans s4 spoilers #titans spoilers #dc titans #dickkory #night notions

[ripperdoc-is-daddy]

FLUX

TW: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT Clubbing, Crude humor, S3xual and non S3xual intimacy, Abduction, Crying, Cuddling, Crude Language, Reader is a Black Female, Mafia typical violence, Soft and Hard Boi Sanemi, Modern AU, PERMISSION TO REPOST OR TRANSLATE DENIED

Eternal thanks to @animupiglett for use of their Mafiaverse

You'd left your ex Sanemi in the past. Question is, would he stay there?

Pt. 1 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5

Several weeks had passed since you had moved out of your former boyfriend’s home. Only going back once to get the rest of your things and leave the keys on the counter. It felt kinda bad to have embarrassed him in front of his friends like that but they were part of the issue. He was always secretive; his friends were shady look and acting. That creepy ass blonde was the worst. That fake ass smile wasn’t fooling you. He was a creepy ass mother fucker. You were tired of long nights with no word from him. Clipped responses, hiding his phone, hushed chats, and numerous other offenses.

When things were good, they were amazing. He would sweep you off your feet, wine and dine you, and give you that fairytale romance. He called you his Queen and he treated you like one. But when things were bad, he would dismiss whatever your concern was if it was about him. “Don’t worry.” or “It’s nothing.” He never gaslit you. He just wasn’t honest with you. You didn’t know what he did for work but assumed it was dangerous because he was so heavily marred and kept acquiring new scars on his fucking amazing body.

If there was one thing you definitely missed it was his body. He was perfection. The scars just added to his Adonisesque image. You missed running your palms up his chest and into his hair. You missed how he smelt. You missed how he would tremble under your touch when y’all got intimate. You missed how he would assist you on wash days, and do your braids. Helped you take your braids out. Listen to your rants. Snuggle with you. Cuddle you.

You missed the feeling of his mouth on your sopping wet cunt. How his fingers explored inside your heated core and stirred the temp up higher. How his cock would stroke your walls and turn you into a drooling mess. The way he spoke dirty to you then would follow up with sweet, sweet praises. The soft aftercare. Genuine acts of kindness. Loving words.

You. Miss. Him.

But missing him wasn’t enough for you to let him back in your life. Which is why you had him blocked on all social media and your phone. You had stayed at a friend's house for an extended amount of time just to evade him dropping by to change your mind. Damnit, you were ending this. It was over. Done. Finite. You didn’t want it to be but the uncertainty behind what he did and never knowing if he was ok wasn’t worth it.

Nor were the little niggling whispers in your mind that said that he was unfaithful. The bind marks on his wrist. Handprints on his back that he would try to hide. Fingermarks on his neck. Scratches on his arms. You knew he liked it rough and things just felt wrong the more and more you saw. You tried to turn a blind eye to it. No rummaging in his phone. That was invasive and if you were doing that then you might as well call things off anyways.

Which is what you had eventually done and why you were alone in your apartment. It was why you were laying on your couch with puffy red eyes and a runny nose. Your heart hurt like a bitch but you would not let that man back in. You couldn’t go through all of that shit again.

This is why you were pissed when you opened the door expecting your Pho delivery and instead saw him holding your Pho delivery. Your initial response was to take your food and slam the door in his face but he pulled it back going “Aht-aht.” Which pissed you off to no end.

“Give me my food and fuck off.” you snapped reaching for your meal once more. He surrendered your food then abruptly stepped forward and put his hand on the door frame. Invading your personal bubble. Filling his nose with your sense. “I wouldn’t mind fucking off with you right now. Things have been rather dry since you left but that isn’t why I am here.” he drawled out slowly.

Unnngh, when this man speaks like that you find it hard to resist. You try to push his chest to get him out of the doorway so you can close the door but he doesn’t budge. Instead, you are met with the solid, warm wall of his exposed pectoral and you have to fight back a moan.

“Just hear me out then I’ll go. Promise.” his words sound desperate and husky. He is fighting back obvious lust but something else is there. “Whatever. Say what you need to say then make like a tree and leaf.” you bark out.

He chuckles at your pun. Often, he would tell you how much he loved your stupid, obnoxious puns. Your mind was circling back to better days spent wrapped in his arms filling out MadLibs. You went straight to your couch, put your food on the coffee table then dug in with the utensils provided. He knelt next to you on the floor. Invading your space but respecting that you definitely were not in the mood to be touched or handled right now.

Slurping noodles were all either of you heard till your takeout container was empty sans liquid. Sanemi opened his mouth to speak and you rudely cut him off slurping the liquid as well. He loudly sighed, bent his head down towards the floor, and put his hands on the back of his head. “Are you going to do this with your cookie as well? I came here with a purpose and now you are just pissing me off.” he ground out.

“Bitch, whose house do you think this is? Cuz it sure as fuck isn’t yours.” you snap your fingers at him and his head bolts up. The hunger in his purple eyes intensifies. You can see he wants to throw you down and fuck the sense back into you. He doesn’t move though. His mouth pulls into a taunt thin line as he holds himself back.

You nod your head pleased. He didn’t argue or fight you for control of the situation. At least he was aware that he had no power here. That was a plus. One thing Sanemi always had to have was control. He commanded attention and demanded respect and compliance. You had seen the way he handled others. Their deference to him raised your hackles even if you never said anything. Wouldn’t have mattered if you had. He wouldn’t have answered anything you asked of him about that side of his life.

The disappointed frown was back on your face. He hated seeing the look ruin your visage. He preferred if you had any look other than that one. Anger, excitement, sadness, even fear. It was all better than disappointment. He didn’t know how to react to that one emotion. Awkwardly he cleared his throat and began to speak once more. “I fucked up. I kept and hid shit from you. That wasn’t fair to you.”

Your head tilted and you used your long, lithe fingers to urge him to continue. “I should have been more forthright with you but I can’t. Well, couldn’t. Wasn’t my business to share. I never meant for us to get to this point.”

Getting up, you cut him off. “Too bad, so sad. Shoulda, coulda, woulda’s ain’t saving anyone. You said what you had to say now leave.” your voice was cold and harsh on his ears. His heart wrest itself in twain as he watched your back walk further and further away.

He couldn’t bear your loss. You were the one good thing he had going for him and yet you were slipping out through his fingers like water. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t explain, not in the way you needed him to.

Steeling himself he followed after you with quick, long strides. “Please, I said I couldn’t. Past tense in this instance. I can tell you a little. The boss gave me leeway after seeing what happened.” You scoffed and threw your trash away walking into your hallway to keep from having to face him and continue this chat. A warm hand grips your wrist and pulls you back. “Stop running from me and face me.” he sounded desperate and his voice was starting to crack. Stubbornly you refuse and focus your eyes on a fixed point in front of you. “I am not running. I am moving freely around within –my- home.” emphasizing whose territory both of y’all were on.

His grip tightens on your delicate wrist. Uncomfortable but it doesn’t hurt. “Please, you’re my Que-” he starts pleading with you and you bark a loud, broken “No!” and jerk yourself out of his grasp. He strikes the wall with an open palm. “Just-” he tries again but this time is interrupted by your front door reopening and that gaudy man from before darkening your entryway.

You hiss and whirl around on your former lover “What the fuck is this shit!? Get. Out.” your growl. The lust in his eyes is replaced by fear and longing. You are serious and want him to leave. This is it. If he leaves now there will be no more chances. What can he do to win you back? What can he say? He needs you. You are the only lifeline he has to normalcy. The breath of fresh air his lungs struggled to get in the otherwise stale existence he claimed as his own.

Opening his mouth, he tried once more. Not caring about how he looked. He needs to get through to you. Before he can utter even one syllable you cut him off once more. “I said to get out. I won’t repeat myself again.” your tone was dark and your eyes no longer held the love he used to see within their depths. The fondness and glee that he had grown accustomed to was now replaced by contempt and fury.

“Enough of this shit. Both of you get in the damn car. We don’t have all damn day.” The platinum-haired beefcake called out to you. “The fuck you think you are?” you snap at him. He sizes you up and laughs then exits your apartment. Sanemi sighs behind you, bringing your focus back on his tanned face.

His hands reach out to cradle your sienna skin and you slap them away. They hang in the air and you can see all of his bravado deflate. “The boss wants to speak to you. I don’t have a choice.” He says then tosses you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Ignoring your protests, he locks up your unit and hurries out to a waiting black SUV. Windows blacked out well over the legal limit.

You are tossed in unceremoniously and the door slams behind you. Your hands try to open it back up and it doesn’t budge. Seems the child lock is on. Kicking it you swear up a storm as you openly curse the man you use to swear was your moon and stars. The white-haired man got into the front passenger seat and nodded for the other man to go forward. You both knew that whatever relationship or lack thereof you had going on was going to be irrevocably changed once you spoke to his boss.

The ride was long and you had managed to fall asleep sometime during your ranting. Awakened by being tossed over the taller, flashy man’s shoulder. Sanemi followed behind, his eyes avoiding you as your trio advanced into the domicile. You stayed on the taller man’s shoulders until another voice caught your attention. “She wasn’t cooperative then?” you heard. This dude was loud.

Unceremoniously you were dumped on the floor. “Excuse you, asshole.” you bit back as you rubbed your bum and took a quick inventory of yourself. Checking for bruising and what have you. “I see.” the loud man said somewhat quieter. It had a dangerous lilt to it. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up. Looking at the owner of the voice you recognized the blonde. A grimace appeared on your features as the two of you stared at each other.

A cough broke your face off and you looked back to see who had done it. Sanemi awkwardly met your gaze and shook his head. “Please honor the boss and refrain from such crass language.” Your eyes bugged out your head at the drastic change in tone and behavior from the normally brash yet kind man in front of you.

The switch from a to b was dizzying.

Your teeth began to worry your bottom lip. The abrasive man rushed to your side and lightly placed his fingers under your chin. “Don’t do that. It’s bad for your enamel.” he chided. You huffed and jerked your head away. Returning your attention to the unnerving blonde. “Why am I here?” you asked nonplussed. The flame-tipped man in front frowned and shook his head. Pinching the bridge of his nose. “Your lack of manners is astounding.” he reprimanded you.

Irritation grew in your gut and you fought the urge to chew this arrogant bastard out. Instead, you began to crack the individual knuckles on your finger. One of your tells that Sanemi recognized meant you were well past your limit and debating using your words to reduce another to ash and tears. His large hand enclosed yours and he leaned in close to whisper in your ear “Stop, this isn’t the man to play with.” he warned you, voice low with a sense of urgency.

Huffing your head turned away defiantly. The loud blonde laughed heartily. “Settle down Shinazugawa. She is still in the dark about all of this. Which is what you brought her here to explain. I’ll do you this one favor but I expect you to be back in fighting form once she has been clued in. I’ll leave you with this weekend to get your affairs in order.” He spoke jovially.

The fiery feeling man clasped your hands in his and stared you directly in the eyes. “Welcome to the family. I look forward to meeting you under more auspicious terms. Try not to treat my lieutenant too harshly. It wasn’t his place to inform you of what our organization is or entails. He has been given leave to explain this to you now. Please be kind to yourself and him as well and hear out all his words.” your hands were released as the blonde let go then strode passed you and out the door. “Good luck, don’t break anything or do something I wouldn’t do.” The taller, platinum-haired man said before leaving behind the blonde.

The door closed leaving the two of you alone in silence. You mulled over the blonde’s words and behavior. Something was off with his verbiage and how your former lover reacted to him. Not wanting to voice that conclusion you were drawing you instead walked forward and began to explore the home. Sanemi hot on your heels staying silent. You took in the modern aesthetic of the building. It was classy as fuck. Bamboo flooring, and wooden walls with stone accents. This place screamed money.

Your exploration ended in a bedroom that had a waterfall installed in it. A platformed-style bed sat in the center with a warm teak-colored frame. The mattress is covered in dark black, pristine sheets. Your feet took you across the grey-painted concrete poured floors and onto the single piece of furniture in the room.

You sat down and stared daggers at the man you used to hold dear. He could feel the venom even without you saying a single word. He wished wholeheartedly that you wouldn’t leave him forever after he explained what was going on. Why things were so hush-hush. He needed you to accept his words with an open mind. Something you did not possess right now. Sucking in air audibly he explained everything about his life. Who he worked for and what he did. How it was his job to handle the wet works of their operations.

He was the man others whispered about in the dark who killed without mercy. An obedient and loyal dog for his master. He had never defied his boss until the day you left him. Nobody could accuse him of getting sloppy with his work but something was off. Things had come to a head for him when he saw his boss whisk his dark-skinned lover away after finding her at a club having fun with another man on the dance floor. His emotions overtook him as eyed the offending man. Walking up on him and expertly darted him in the wrist with a thin needle drugging the man. He guided the now wobbling man out the back of the club and vented all of his frustration on the poor guy.

Today just wasn’t this man’s day. Sanemi left him broken, bruised, and unrecognizable. Behind him, he heard a cough. He glared at the behemoth of a man and stepped aside. Taking the rubbing alcohol and cloth from him and cleaning his hands from the blood resulting from his rampage. Sanemi leaves the scene to let their cleaner do his job. Hearing a faint “Namu Amida Butsu” as he walks away.

Seeing them together had stirred up feelings he fought hard to suppress. He had gone off the grid for a full 48 hours. An absolutely forbidden action that had landed him in the hot seat. Bag over his head, hands cuffed and a botan brutally slamming into his gut repeatedly while he stubbornly held out not saying why he had disobeyed and ignored orders. Why he was out of contact? Why did he dare to disrespect the man who owned his life? Thanking his lucky stars once he finally broke and explained that his boss had empathized with him and proposed this plan to reveal the truth to you and bring you back to Sanemi.

You let him speak. Not once did you interrupt while you soaked in his words. They chilled you to the bone but they also let the final pieces of the puzzle that was Sanemi Shinazugawa fall into place. When he stopped talking, he was bowing in front of you. Both hands planted firmly on the ground in formal apology. “I hadn’t meant for this to happen. I wa- no I need you in my life. Please take me back. I will make it up to you. You are my Queen and I can no longer function without your love and strength beside me.” his voice broke as the words fell from his lips.

The stings of your heart snapped quickly, one after the other. Slowly you slid down then hugged his shoulders while leaning over him. Tears pricked your eyes and you fought to hold them back. “This is reprehensible Sanemi.” you scolded. He said nothing as his body trembled fighting off the misery he felt from your impending rejection. Feeling your kindness twist that knife in his gut. He waited for the final blow that would end everything you had become to each other over these past six years. Bracing for the pain.

Your posture corrected itself and you sat up. Tears falling from your dark brown eyes. You took his head in your hands and guided him up. Reluctantly his gaze met yours and the turmoil inside his soul increased tenfold. Slowly you brought your lips to his and kissed him with the emotions you couldn’t express in words. You bit his lower lip harshly to reflect your frustration. Tongue licking over it to soothe and cautiously push mimicking your own desire to calm him while being nervous to go forward with whatever this was.

He opened his mouth and greedily claimed yours. Matching your apprehension with his desire. His desire to taste, touch and have you. He stole your breath away as he picked you up and then lowered you backward onto the bed behind you. Your heel slammed into his chest forcing him to break your connection with a breathy gasp. The panic-stricken face staring down at you. Had he misread? Did he fuck up again? “ ‘nemi. I need to breathe. Air is essential for human life.” you whispered. “I must not be human. All I need is you.” He spoke against your lips as he dove back in. Arms gathering you and crushing you against his body.

Entwining his legs with yours he continues to lavish you with kisses. On your mouth, neck, nose, eyes, wherever he could place those silken lips of his without releasing you. Eventually, he settled down and simply pressed you to his chest. “I don’t accept this,” you said flatly pressing your face into his pectorals. He hummed in response, waiting for the rest of what you wanted to say. “But,” you started, pulling his white dress shirt that was unbuttoned around your head to hide you. “I don’t want to be without you. From now on I want the truth from you. No more hiding and no more lies. We can work through whatever this is but I won’t do it if you are just going to be like before.” both of your eyes closed as you issued your ultimatum.

Not missing a beat his voice was firm and clear as he answered you “I, Sanemi Shinazugawa affirm that I will not lie or hide the truth of my occupation and what it entails from you from this point on in our relationship. Should I break this oath, you may punish me as you see fit.” Your head shot up and you grasped his face in your hands. Sanemi met you with wet, red eyes full of determination. “Does this mean you take me back?” he asked, voice guarded. You rolled your eyes and leaned forward. Fluttering your eyelashes together. “Mmmhmm” you confirmed.

A sigh escaped your love and his grip tightens around your body, “Stop! Stop! You are going to break me! ‘nemi!” you chastised him. “If I let you go then you’ll flee again.” his head ducked down and he buried his face in your neck as he spoke. Hiding his vulnerability. “I am not leaving. I’m here.” Hugging him tightly you slowly stroked his hair as he cried into your shirt. You let him get out all his emotions without speaking.

Things would be hard from here on out but you loved this man and he loved you dearly. Together you could make this work or would die trying. You didn’t have to accept what he did but you did accept him as he was and were eternally grateful, he was finally able to bare it all to you. You both fell asleep on the bed wrapped up in each other and welcoming the comforting warmth you brought to one another.

#sanemi shinazugawa #follow 👑 share ❤️ enjoy 🍑 #kny sanemi #sanemi x reader #sanemi x you #demon slayer sanemi #shinazugawa x reader #wind pillar #demon slayer hashira #hashira #wind hashira #sanemi shinaguzawa #sanemi x y/n #shinazugawa sanemi #kny angst #demon slayer angst #demon slayer shinazugawa #tumblr girls #sanemi x black reader #shinazugawa x black reader #black female reader #sanemi shinazugawa x black reader #sanemi x black female reader #sanemi shinazugawa x black female reader #aave (aave) #aave #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x black female reader #demon slayer x black reader #kny x black reader

[litgwritersroom]

The Final Recoupling (one-shot)

“I got a text!” “Grace, you will be choosing first. Please stand and make your decision.” Suresh felt his heart sink to the floor. This was it. The final recoupling, his final chance to win her back, and he had fucked it up. What was the point? Why did he come here? All he did was make things worse, he thought, and to have to stand here and watch her pick someone else was going to hurt more than anything. Knowing that some other lad would be able to enjoy her, to treat her how he should have. To experience what an amazing person she is, and to be loved by her just like he had. To be able to see how perfect she looked in the mornings, snuggled up in his arms. To witness her beautiful mouth curl into a radiant smile and her big brown eyes glisten whenever she looked at him. To be able to take her on amazing dates, ones that would probably top all of this. His heart belonged to Grace, and now, she was going to choose someone else. She was going to shatter his heart into a million pieces the same as he did to her. At least I deserve it, he thought. He watched as the beautiful, strong woman he once could call his own stood up and took a deep breath. Why does she look so nervous? “Right,” she started, voice shakier than he had ever heard it before. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and before this moment, my head was absolutely gone. I’ve been through so much shit in here, my head was telling me a million different things. But right now, my heart is telling me one thing.” He couldn’t take it. He couldn’t bare to see this happen. Was he supposed to clap and cheer along with the rest of his friends as she chose a future with someone else? She meant everything to him, and without her, he had nothing. His leg was bouncing up and down, hands shaking uncontrollably. This was too much for him to handle. She paused, glancing at the other islanders one by one, until her eyes fell right on him. What the fuck? Without taking her eyes off him, she started speaking again. “I thought I wanted a fresh start when I first came in here.” He felt his heart genuinely skip a beat in his chest, and his breath became caught in his throat. There’s no way… “I was really excited on the first day, to meet some new guys and start a new fairytale romance. But then I saw this boy, and I knew from the moment he first looked at me with those beautiful eyes and charming smile of his that our story was far from being over.” Suresh felt like he was dreaming. How is this happening? There was no way she was taking him back, after everything he put her through. He thought he blew it, he was certain she had moved on. Had she truly forgiven him? Had his plan really worked? “Our time in here has been anything but a fairytale, believe me.” Grace let out a laugh and gave him a hopeful smile that told him everything he needed to know. He saw tears starting to form in her eyes, and before he could help it, he felt one of his one fall from his eye and run down his cheek. “But in the end, regardless of all the shit we’ve put each other through, he will always have my heart. Every time he looks at me, my stomach becomes a flutter of butterflies. Every time he holds me, I feel safe, as if I’m home, where I belong. Every time he says my name, my heart pounds so much I think I might explode. And I would never trade any of those feelings for the world.” Suresh’s single tear had quickly turned into him quietly sobbing into his shirt sleeve. What has she done to me? He never cries, only on the rarest of occasions. But something about Grace had made him softer than ever before. Her, standing here, confessing her love for him, it was all he had ever wanted. All he had ever dreamed of. “I know a lot of you might call me a fool for this, but I don’t care. Although our story is anything but, he makes me feel like I’m in a fairytale. And I never want that feeling to end.” She blinked back a few tears of her own, and suddenly began to walk over to where Suresh was standing. Stopping right in front of him, she grabbed his hands and held them tight, as if she never wanted to let go. He squeezed them back a thousand times harder, feeling exactly the same. “Resh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for every thing I put you through. We were never perfect, and I made a lot of mistakes too. You spent your entire time here apologizing to me and trying to prove that you had changed, so now it’s my turn. Losing you was one of the worst things that has ever happened to me as well, and I never want to experience that again. You’re mine, and I’m yours, and we were both stupid enough to forget that the first time around. But I mean it this time Resh, so, if you’ll have me, I’d love to be yours again.” She raised her hand to his face and gently wiped away some of his tears, and in that moment, he was done for. He let go of her hands, pushing her hair behind her ear with one of his own and putting the other around her waist, pulling her in close. He had no words. He stood there, looking at the only person who mattered to him in that moment, trying to wrap his head around what she had just said. He closed his eyes, and felt his lips moving, mumbling out the only word he could form. “Grace,” He opened his eyes and was met with hers again, glistening with tears as she awaited his response. “I love you.” He closed the gap between them, allowing their lips to crash together with an endless amount of passion and desire. He briefly heard the cheers and claps of his fellow islanders, but the noise soon faded as he became enveloped in her. Her scent, her taste, the way she felt in his arms, it was enough to make him weak in the knees. Overwhelmed with every emotion, he became lost in her soft lips. She gently grabbed a fist full of his hair, just as she knew he liked, and he couldn’t help but let out a soft moan. She pulled away, trying to catch her breath. “Is that a yes then?” she asked, voice shakier than before. He let out a soft laugh, and pulled her in to a warm embrace. “Of course, angel. You’re mine. How could I ever say no?” She nestled her face into his neck and he felt her sobbing into him, same as he was before. In between sobs, her heard her mumble one last sentence. “I love you too.” He still couldn’t tell this was real, or if he was dreaming, but in that moment, he knew one thing for sure. He was never going to let go of her again.

#submission

[sassysnowglobe]

.

Listen. Listen.

And yes, all of the below is giving "I've had too much to drink tonight and I know it's sad but this is what I think about" but I am allowing myself my once-a-year breakdown over the loss of my childhood dreams so leave me alone.

But anyway, the thing is... Usually I'm fine being as far on the aro/ace spectrum as I am. Relationship drama always seemed like a hassle, and I was raised in a very "love never lasts so why bother" household so why would I ever wanna settle for anyone who is less than perfect for me? Why would I 'waste my time' with people I don't feel 'In Love' with. Or worse; why would I waste THEIR time if I'm not in love with them? That just sounds cruel, yaknow.

But I was also raised on fairytales. On 'Happily Ever After', on True Love, on soulmates.

And sometimes. God. Fucking SOMETIMES.

I miss that like a gaping hole in my soul.

And the idea that I might genuinely be physically incapable of ever falling in love? It not only terrifies me sometimes, it hurts. It actively, truly, deeply hurts.

It's the big things that hurt, of course. It's the fear of being left behind. The knowledge that you'll never be someone's number one priority, because despite your friends being lovely that's just not how society works. The usual fear of 'dying alone', even though alloromantic people are also perfectly capable of dying alone due to the loss of their partner. The realization that you'll never have the romance that the little girl in the princess dress dreamed of and read about.

But god, on nights like these, where the wound is gaping and bleeding and bruising, it's the small things too. It's the knowledge you'll never get to introduce your partner at Christmas dinner. The knowledge you'll never have Your Person by your side when facing your family. You won't get to change your lock screen to your person, you won't have your 'plus one', you'll always have to dodge frustrating questions, you won't get that intimacy that friendship just doesn't, won't, can't provide.

And even though you KNOW the answer (god, in your bones you know the answer), it makes you wonder whether it's because you're incapable of romantic love or if you're just Not Good Enough for Anybody. It makes you wonder what you did wrong.

I saw someone say that your orientation shouldn't feel like a sentence. And most days, it doesn't. But on nights like these I feel the phantom cold of the metal on my skin, I feel the iron manacles weighing me down, and I wonder if I'm doomed to an eternity of perpetually being left behind.

I should mention that most of this is probably brought on by the fact that I haven't felt like myself since I came back from visiting my family a month ago, where I started my trip at my mother's and felt like a stranger to everyone I grew up around. It truly feels like everyone in my life is moving onwards, is walking their own paths, and I just got stuck somewhere. I got stuck, and have been for a while, and I hadn't noticed. And now that i have, now that it's pointed out to me at every corner...

I dunno. I deserve a night to sulk.

#the life and times of pieces #we're back to using this as my personal diary I guess #I love my friends i love them DEEPLY I just #Some fears cannot be vocalized #some facets of my personality are reserved for the internet only #and while my friends and the internet overlap (and thank god they do) #Some thoughts can only be put on paper and never spoken out loud

[tumbleassbitch]

another lost soul (letting my instinct take control) | The Quarry | TravisxLaura

Characters: Laura Kearney, Travis Hackett, The Hackett family Summary: Max dies in the cellar. This changes everything. Chapter 4/? | Chapter 3

July 1st, 2022

“Are you fucking insane?” He meets her frantic gaze unaffected. “Shit. You are insane.”

Science. He wants to fix this with science.

“I’ve been out hunting for that goddamn white wolf every full moon for the last six years. If I hadn’t seen the evidence myself, I’d think he didn’t exist. If you were me, you'd be looking for other ways to end this, too."

“I can help you,” she emphasizes. “I want to stop Silas, too. I’m not some- some fragile fucking daisy that needs to stay locked up.”

“You don’t get it,” he says firmly, slowly approaching the cell bars. “I’m not doing this for another six years. I’m too damn old.”

“Yeah, and I’m twenty-four. Nice to meet you,” she says sarcastically. “You don’t have to do any of this. You could let me join you out there, get a fresh pair of eyes-”

He hooks his thumbs in his belt. “The worst thing for either of us would be if my family caught wind of this. We don’t need more guns. We need brains.”

“I’m not even a veterinarian yet!” she practically screams.

“Hey! You have almost four years of college under your belt,” he asserts with a pointed finger, “and you’ve already been accepted into that vet school on the West Coast.”

Am I really getting a pep talk right now? “That's so not the same,” she laments into her hands, collapsing on the bed. 

It’s true that she was accepted into vet school after applying to almost every one in the country, and yeah, she’s smart. She’d just been waiting to tell Max until he heard back from St. Lawrence… which, he did. And didn’t tell her.

Not that it matters, now.

But this backwater cop apparently took one look at her college resume and thought, Gee, she could probably cure lycanthropy! If this is their only solid plan, they were genuinely fucked.

“You’re the best we’ve got,” he confirms her worst fears with controlled, steady conviction. His eyes tell a different story, though; there’s something barely holding on within those dark pits. Pure desperation.

God, this was his big plan? After taking her back to her cell last night so that she could cramp in peace, for the first time since everything happened, Laura honestly felt that thing’s were finally starting to look up.

But… maybe they still are. Laura’s nothing if not an opportunist. 

“Fine,” she says briskly. Hope dawns on his face, and she shoves down the foreign tinge of guilt that intumesces. “But I’ll need research.”

-

July 2nd, 2022

A thick stack of werewolf legends and fairytales sits beside her bed, each book spine labeled “North Kill Library” on grimy stickers lined up like dominos. The amount of grubby twelve-year-old fingers that have thumbed through these books must be staggering. Because, honestly, who else would be reading about werewolf legends?

Laura wouldn’t. She never had the time for it.

The other paper he gave her, the only thing he initially handed over before she asked for additional reading, sits folded up on her pillow. 

Don’t get bit, cut off your limb if you do, or kill the werewolf that turned you when it’s a full moon in order to break the curse. Scary stories to tell around the campfire, except it’s daylight and painfully real.

Its weakness, however, froths in the recesses of her mind: silver. If she can get her hands on some, maybe bullets, or a knife…? Hell, she's even willing to try and make him eat it.

That is, if she can find Silas. 

Not 'if.' When.

And once she gets out, she will find him.

A phone ringing somewhere in the precinct snatches her attention. In all the time she’s been here, a phone hasn’t rang once. 

She holds her breath, straining to hear a voice, but no luck. He must've gone immediately to his office before answering it.

Time passes long enough until she hears the most faint sound of a door shutting, and then moments later, another.

Did he leave the building? It would make sense. She assumes he is an actual cop, having access to this strange, derelict building and the whole flashing lights and badge business on the night they met when he shouldn’t have needed to go the extra mile to masquerade.

He could be checking in on a disturbance of the peace, or maybe a drunk and disorderly. Something that isn’t hovering near his captor while also tracking down a mythical creature. 

It’s odd to think about. All of her experiences with him have been past the point of bizarre. The thought of him doing something as dull as normal, something expected of him , was just as weird.

The hours pass by slowly, and she keeps her mind occupied by studying, taking notes in the journal of whatever comes to mind as potentially important. It’s a lot like her high school world history class, except this has a lot more riding on it and the only way to double-check her answers is by solving a curse. 

No biggie, she can practically hear Max say. Her heart convulses painfully. She’d do anything to have him here. Hell, she’d do anything to have anybody else here.

Just as her stomach begins to rumble for dinner, the soft shut of a door rings out not once, but twice.

Travis comes a bit later, and before she even sees him, she can tell he’s upset. There’s a little bit of hate that accompanies the fact that she's spent enough time with him to see it.

Polished shoes slap harshly against tile, his gait brisk and heavy. The lines in his forehead are drawn, and sections of hair stick out of place as if too many fingers have passed through. 

He sets down the unappetizing tray of meatloaf and an apple with two pills without a word, turning to leave.

“Hey,” she says quickly. “Can I get a clock?”

He appraises her, impatience oozing out of his pores. “What do you need a clock for?”

“So that I can tell the time.”

“Again, why do you need a clock?” he asks smartly. 

You have such a terrible personality. “Please,” she says, voice straining to hold the soft tone. “I need something to anchor my days by. Something beyond the daylight.”

Some of the fight bleeds out of him, and he purses his lips. “I’ll see what I can do,” is the noncommittal answer she gets, but it’s enough.

Travis turns to leave, and she steps closer to the bars. “I also have some ideas.”

He exhales through his nose slowly, but despite the impatient exterior, he regards her with something close to hope.

“You said you’ve been tracking Silas for six years, right? Have you noticed any seasonal patterns?” At his confused look, she elaborates. “Is he migrating to the south in the winter?”

He nods slowly, considering her with an expression she has a hard time placing. “He does, but not in any single place for long.”

“We know he was in town just a few days ago,” she says. “He could still be here.”

“Could,” he replies evasively.

“And what about your niece?” she presses. 

He narrows his eyes. “What the hell do you mean?”

Laura shrugs. “She’s a werewolf. Are there any, I don’t know, characteristics that you’ve observed in her? Anything that might be helpful for predicting what another werewolf might do throughout the moon cycle?”

He gives off an air of silent bewilderment, and she swallows back her irritation. No use in pushing a man with a gun.

“Is that a … no?” she asks.

“No, it’s not. It’s,” he starts, then stops. “I’m just surprised you caught on to that.”

Her ego preens at the unintentional complement. “Imagine what I could catch onto if you trusted me more,” she says, and the way his face immediately closes off, it's obvious she pushed for too much, too soon.

“You told your mom that you’d let your niece come around more. How are you going to explain this,” she gestures widely, “to her?”

“Here’s an idea— you let me worry about that, and you can go ahead and forget it.”

“Even now, you’re still hiding things from me.” 

The look she gets is so full and dripping with condescension that she grits her teeth. “We could be a team .”

Travis curses under his breath, rolling his eyes. “Look, ma’am- Laura ,” he emphasizes her name, holding up a hand placatingly. “Just because you know, doesn’t mean you know.”

“What… the fuck does that even mean?” she mutters.

“It means I can’t trust you,” he says, “just like you don’t trust me.”

“Yeah, well. It sounds like you can’t trust your family, either,” she says, harkening back to his words from earlier today.

The worst thing for either of us would be if my family caught wind of this.

“That’s a whole world of difference.”

“Is it?” she presses. “How many people has your family killed?”

“How many has yours?” he tosses back flippantly. 

A strange heady current pulses between them. Overhead, the faint wash of summer rain patters on stone.

“Don’t,” she says quietly. Deadly.

His jaw twitches. The air feels thick and alive in her lungs, threatening to erupt in a swarm of locusts, and if she were to open her mouth again, something as deadly as a plague would slip through her chapped lips.

“My family never meant to hurt anybody,” Travis finally says, voice low and strained. The unsaid words are pointed enough that she turns her head to the stone wall.

It’s a clear dismissal. She’s done with him tonight.

He lingers, fidgeting in polyester and scuffed shoes. He’s working himself up to saying something, but whatever it is stays hidden away. A secret.

Just like her.

-

July 3rd, 2022

A girlishly pink, plastic watch is delivered with breakfast, along with a pair of small pills. It’s painfully out of place amongst the werewolf-and-prison theme she’s got going on, but it’ll do. 

He asks if she wants to take a shower, and after a few moments of resolutely staring at the faded cover of The Man-Wolf, he finally leaves with a huff.

She slips on the watch after the door shuts with an echoing creak. 

The early summer sunrises have been deceptive. It’s Sunday, a little after seven o'clock in the morning. As far as her biological clock can tell, Travis has been delivering meals at a consistent time every day for the past week or so.

Three meals a day, plus a shower. How often does he leave this place? If he actually does have a family of his own, which she doubts given the pure stalker vibe he effortlessly gives off, then how the hell is he explaining being at work so much?

Maybe it’s a cop thing, she ponders, digging into her oatmeal. Apple cinnamon today.

-

Travis lingers for lunch. 

Laura tears into a plain ham sandwich, eyes peeling back the absolutely, totally fascinating tome of The Biology, Ecology, and Behavior of Canis Lupus. Seriously, it’s incredible stuff.

“Have you found anything?” he says haltingly, breaking the silence.

She debates icing him out, but self-preservation kicks in. It’s so, so clear that she can’t. She can’t afford to lose whatever ground she’s gained with him.

“Depends on how you classify ‘anything,’” she drawls, not missing the way his shoulders ease ever so minutely. The observation bolsters her to continue. “Did you know that a wolf pack’s territory can be anywhere from thirty-one to over 1,200 square miles?”

“Nothing else?”

Laura sits up, book abandoned on the bed. “Look, I’m trying. It’s not like I have a lot to work with from the huge North Kill library. If I had other resources, then maybe it would be a different story.”

“Keep digging,” he says lamely. The disappointment settles in his voice with easy acceptance. 

She thinks that’s it, but he’s just… staring at her, and though she’s long-since gotten used to his natural creepiness, the weight of his scrutiny causes her to squirm.

“What?” she asks exasperatedly.

“My family is at the bottom of a well.” 

It’s said so quietly, she almost doesn’t understand what he’s saying. Travis exhales deeply, fixing her a solemn look as if she’s a priest that will exonerate him for his sins. “They’re… stuck. And I’m the only one at the top that’s holding the rope.”

“So?”

His baffled face turns towards her, and his stupid expression infuriates her for reasons she can’t begin to dive into. “What do you mean, ‘so?’”

“I mean, so what?”

He scoffs, shaking his head, but she’s already standing up and walking as much into his space as she can. Though the bars separate them, it’s the closest she’s gotten to him since the night she tried to escape.

The way Travis doesn’t move an inch at her approach speaks of a predator’s confidence. “Family,” he says slowly, “is the most important thing in the world.”

“Bull,” she matches his tone, “shit.”

Travis glares down at her, but there’s a tinge of curiosity in his narrowed eyes. It isn’t clear what he thinks she’s trying to do. She’s not really sure, either. The words just pour out.

“Family doesn’t mean shit if you’re living like shit,” she says harshly. “What kind of life is this?”

He grits his teeth. Already, he’s shutting her out.

“I’m serious, Travis,” something flickers on his face at the sound of his name. “Family is meant to, to build you up or whatever. Not threaten you.”

“That’s not what’s going on,” he denies with a scoff.

“No, you said we’re both in trouble, here. Right?”

"Yeah, spot on,” he says unimpressed. “But what I meant by that is that they’ll kill you, and hate me. Just because I can't tell them you exist doesn't mean I can't fucking trust them."

“That sounds toxic,” she replies.

His quirks a brow. “Really? Coming from your home life?”

“God, would you just stop already,” Laura snaps. “You don’t have to keep bringing it up. Fuck you, man.”

Travis actually has the decency to look somewhat chastised. “What I mean to say is- I’m only saying it because of… of the two of us. In comparison. I’d imagine you’d much rather have a family like mine.”

“Yeah, well. Not all of us got so lucky,” she bites out sarcastically. “Doesn’t mean that other families are perfect. It’s not a comparison.”

He doesn’t say anything to that, opting to study the space over her shoulder. The break in eye contact hits her like a bucket of cold water.

She swallows. “And yet your mom would put a bullet in my skull?”

Travis’ eyes flash, and he chuckles low, a grim, humorless breath that barely skims the surface. “You and me both."

"And what about Kaylee?” she brusquely asks, and his eyes snap back to hers. “The girl who turns into a fucking monster every month?" 

“Kaylee?” he repeats incredulously, then visually wrestles with his next words. “No, Kaylee is the sweetest, most, most kind-hearted soul on earth. This curse is what’s hurting people, not her. She’d never hurt a fly if she could help it.”

" If she could help it?" Laura repeats pointedly.

Travis' hackles rise, and he leans so close that if she wanted to, she could easily wrap her hands around his throat. "My niece would be heartbroken if she knew the kind of rot our family has brought on this town."

They're at a stalemate. 

“I know you’re tired of hunting Silas,” she says, softer this time. “And I won’t stop trying to find other ways to stop this curse. At least give me the locations you’ve managed to track him to, see if I can find more of a correlation. I work with animals, remember?”

It’s bullshit, frankly, but for him to think she can do any of this in the first place tells her that he really doesn’t know what veterinarians do.

She can’t deny that the idea of finding a cure for lycanthropy fascinates her. Being a research veterinarian one day has always been the plan— studying animals in a lab environment, looking for ways to prevent and cure diseases. But that’s something… way off in the future. Way above her current pay grade.

Laura’s only interned at a vet clinic, much less gone to actual vet school! The most she’s done is read books and prep surgical sites, sometimes having the exciting job of preparing intravenous lines for anesthetics. Nothing that’s prepared her for what he expects her to do.

But if he ever realizes that she can’t help him find a cure, what then? What happens to her?

“I really do need the information you have about him,” she pleads. “Not the fairy tales. At least, not at first.”

His eyes dart past hers, then back up. This close, she can see the amber curls in his irises, like sunlight shining through a bottle of whiskey.

"Finish your damn lunch,” he says.

And that’s that.

-

Somewhere in the precinct, a door shuts not once, but twice.

It’s three o’clock.

At six o’clock, it happens again.

-

July 4th, 2022

The map Travis gives her is comically large, and not for the first time, Laura is thankful for existing in a time where GPS and Google exist. 

She tapes the map of the East Coast's major roads and cities to one of the walls of her cell, and it easily swallows up the stone. Little red stickers march across Maine to Virginia, conglomerating within upstate New York and branching out as far down as Georgia.

And, that? That’s the problem.

For as much as Silas was confirmed to still be within the state, he was also apparently gallivanting amongst peach orchards and just barely skimming the top of Jacksonville. Talk about ‘Florida Man.’ 

How many deaths is he responsible for? How many others are out there looking for Silas, trying desperately to end their own curse?

The questions consume her from within.

The dark swatch of nothingness has always been there for as long as she can remember, threatening to burn up each carefully laid thought and good intention. But now, as she considers each pin on the map, each one the center of a bullseye, that same nothingness purrs in hunger. 

It electrifies her. It disturbs her.

Laura’s ears perk. The familiar chords of Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the U.S.A. are carried down the hallway, and her heart gives a little tug.

“Could you turn it up?” she calls down the hallway. Though it strains her neck, she’s able to just barely see him appear in the gloom cast down a ways. Late sunset paints the walls. He’s probably going to head home soon, if he ever leaves.

He fixes her with something akin to amusement. “I didn’t take you for a Springsteen fan.”

“My mom used to listen to him all the time,” she says, and instantly imagines swallowing her own tongue. The song, the burgeoning sense of hope today; all of it brings on a false sense of security.

Travis stills, and in the space of a breath, he moves. She watches him scoop up the radio, casually walking into her line of sight, and place it right next to the old chair that’s become a staple of the decor.

You end up like a dog that's been beat too much 

'Til you spend half your life just coverin' up

The words rush over her like a familiar friend, bringing with them memories of wide-mouth smiles, her mom’s blonde hair whipping freely in the wind, both of them singing with abandon. She leans her head back against the wall, shutting out the rest of the world for just a little while.

Aerosmith, Journey, Bon Jovi. Laura was raised on classic 80’s rock, but nothing reminded her of her mom more than the slightly cheesy, ‘total powerhouse of a man’ that was Bruce Springsteen. 

Whenever it was a particularly bad day, and they needed to get away from the house just long enough for the caustic bitterness to settle into a slow ache, her mom would take her to get ice cream.

They’d get in the old Honda Civic and dash down to the local ice cream shop with the windows down, regardless of the time of year, and blast the radio. Her mom would ask her about school, talk about the latest crazy headline she’d seen- anything surface level.

It was never safe to go far from the neighborhood; most often, they’d circle the block several times over, always keeping an eye out in case another car returned to the driveway before them.

Most of the time, they made it back before. 

But not always.

And when they didn’t, Laura wished they never returned in the first place. That they’d have just kept driving, on and on, staying on the highway till the gas tank ran on fumes and hitchhike from there.

God, she had envisioned all of it so clearly: ditch the car, get out of the state. Laura had no aunts or uncles on her mom’s side, but there was a cousin in Oregon that would probably spot them the emergency funds for a flight.

Of course, her mom would never leave.

Travis’ phone vibrates.

She jolts back to awareness. He doesn’t so much as look at her before brusquely leaving, clutching his pocket as if he could smother the sound. The radio stays behind. 

“Damn,” she mutters to no one. Her wrist reads three o’clock.

Travis isn’t treating her like… before , and this observation sinks in more than it should. 

She thinks about the extra berth he gave her that morning when delivering her breakfast. The avoidance in his gaze, never straying too long in her direction. At first, she thought he was being more wary because of her escape attempt. But it feels like more than that.

Laura scowls at the thought. It shouldn’t bother her. 

It shouldn’t, but it does.

-

When he returns with a dinner tray, Laura is laying on her stomach in bed, nose buried in a book on German werewolf fairy tales.

“Who called?” she asks him.

No response.

“Was it your niece?”

The door at the end of the hallway closes with finality.

-

July 5th, 2022

"Hey! Travis!" she calls. 

A moment later, the devil himself appears. Privately, she relishes in the fact that even as a prisoner, she still holds some modicum of command.

“Let’s stick with Sheriff Hackett,” he says with a wilting glare over her shoulder.

Let’s not. She blinks when a hand is unceremoniously shoved in front of the cell bars. Long, faintly scarred fingers uncurl to reveal two little pills. 

“Take ‘em,” he says impatiently. 

“What?”

“I- Uh,” he falters. “They’re for your,” he waves his hand in the general direction of her pelvis, and her brow raises of its own accord.

Oh. Her period cramps. Because he knows she’s on her period. Because she totally bled all over the floor-

“That’s what you’ve been giving me this whole time?” she asks over the absolutely mortifying train of thought.

He blinks. “Yeah. I thought that was obvious.”

“Um, no. I had no idea what they were.”

“Huh,” he says. She gets the faintest impression that he’s embarrassed. “They’ve been missing from the trays.”

“I’ve been flushing them down the toilet,” Laura says bluntly. “But, uh. Thanks.” 

Her fingers brush the skin of his palm when she takes the pills, and his fingers twitch, then curl as if to hide the gesture. The residual tension in the room prompts her to clear her throat before the silence threatens to swallow them whole.

“That’s not what I called you here for.”

“I gathered that,” he says drily. 

She nods towards the map. “Have you actually left town for any of these sightings?” 

Travis clicks his tongue, effectively changing the conversation. “I’ve tracked him with my own connections, but I can’t exactly leave town. Anything outside of a few hours has been undoable.”

“For six years?” she asks incredulously. This guy hasn’t left the area for over half a decade, at least?

“You heard me.”

That’s… not exactly hopeful. “Is anyone else checking up on these sightings?”

He huffs. “At times. But the moment we’re able to follow up on one lead, he’s already long gone. It’s not like we can go through a formal process, here. The only description we have is a feral albino boy.”

“That sounds pretty specific to me,” she says.

He snorts, but it sounds hollow. “You’d think so.”

She grills him about the other leads he’s followed up on, and though he surprisingly answers at least half of them more or less directly, despondency steadily descends upon her shoulders like a familiar shawl.

For one man, he has looked everywhere. 

From keyword filters on local newspaper headlines to online hunting chat rooms, he’s set up enough of a system to generate an up-to-date database of where Silas might be. His entire family, apparently, also goes out every full moon to hunt for him and other werewolves that may have been bit. Well, aside from his niece, who they lock up in a fucking basement.

“What the fuck? You keep a werewolf under your living room?”

“It's once a month. And, it’s the family home, not mine, so no.”

The more she digs out of him, the more it sits in. If she has any hope of finding and stopping Silas, it lies with Travis Hackett. 

For now.

-

At three o’clock, she’s alone.

Two doors shut.

At six o’clock, two doors shut again.

He brings her dinner.

-

“You know,” she says around a mouth of meat-y pasta that was most definitely microwaved, “we could work together better if you let me out.”

He eyes her shrewdly. “I think this setup works great.”

“Of course you do,” she snaps, then reigns it back in. “But I could actually help you gather resources, rather than review everything you’ve already read a million times.”

“Gather?” he repeats. “Hell no, in your wildest dreams, not happening. Take your pick.”

"So, what? You're going to keep me locked up in here forever? That's the plan?" His silence makes her gut churn. Her voice is small when she says, "People are going to start looking for me."

'People' meaning Max's parents and sister. Maybe a college professor or two will wonder why she isn't coming back to finish her degree, but her social circle hasn't exactly been thriving since senior year of high school. 

But he doesn't need to know that.

"I can't trust you," he stresses. There's almost a hint of apologetic sympathy on his face. "Once Silas is out of the equation, I don't care what happens to me. Hell, you can lock me up yourself. But I can't risk this secret coming back on my family." 

“C’mon, Travis,” she says, leaning forward. “Of the two of us, which one of us has more experience with the internet?”

“Sheriff Hackett,” he repeats as if he’s helping a foreigner with the phonetics of his name, “and if you really think I’m going to give you access to the internet, you’re goddamn insane.”

“You think I'm insane?” she shoots back. He sneers at her attitude, and they fall into an uneasy stalemate.

She doesn’t get why he stuck around for dinner. Instead of his usual drop-off and leave, he went against every pattern she’s built up of him and took a seat in the old chair outside of her cell and produced a bottle of bourbon from his pocket, taking sips occasionally in the silence.

Despite being the only free one here, he must be desperate for the company, not that she’s complaining. It's a testament to how lonely she is that she’ll take even the ill-tempered, slightly manic cop over the darkness of her own thoughts.

“Happy fourth,” she says, apropos of nothing. She forgot to say it yesterday.

It’s already July. Her and Max would be toasting s’mores with kids right now, probably not lighting off any fireworks due to fire hazards in the middle of the woods.

Travis leans back with a soft exhale, jostling the bottle against his thigh.

“Happy fourth,” he replies. 

It sounds like an agreement, coming from him.

-

July 6th, 2022

The day starts like every other.

Breakfast, handcuffs, shower. Reading more tales, jotting down notes. 

Lunch. Notes. Doors.

The last one causes her heartbeat to pick up, but she tampers it down as best she can. Sweat gathers on her palms, and she keeps wiping her hands on the sweatpants he’s given her, biding her time with tidying up.

Maybe it’s a dumb idea. 

Actually, it’s most definitely a dumb idea. But Laura can’t spend another hour locked up knowing that this might be the answer. If she’s played her cards right, read the situation correctly, then everything should be fine. Right?

‘Don’t play stupid games,’ her mom’s voice, warm but raspy from years of smoking, chastises her. ‘You need to just be careful and wait. Who knows? It might work itself out.’

No, I can’t, she thinks morosely. We’ve seen how that worked out for you.

She’s not going to be like her mom. If Laura’s ever going to get out of here and fix this mess, it’s going to have to be by her own hands. 

One door shuts. She checks her wrist: six o’ clock. 

There’s no turning back now.

“Boss! Hey, Travis!” she calls out. 

She screams louder, cupping her hands. “Hey! The door shut behind me! Could you let me out?”

“...’s that?” a faint woman’s voice carries down the hall.

“...orry about her.”

“Hey!” Laura calls again louder, injecting some cheer into her voice that hopefully doesn’t come off as deranged. “This stupid thing shut on me again.”

“...Um, Uncle T? It sounds like she’s stuck.”

A woman about her age sporting cropped dark hair and a pink hoodie hesitantly walks through the door, and Laura grins widely, chuckling self-deprecatingly.

“Hey! Kaylee, right?” she asks, casually leaning against the bars. 

The woman’s eyes widen, and she approaches with a tentative smile. “Yeah…?”

Travis watches from the doorway.

“Nice to meet you, my name’s Jess. I’m the new intern,” she lies earnestly. Kaylee glances past her, no doubt eyeing the perfectly straightened bed, map and books hidden from sight beneath the mattress and within the pillow.

To her, it would look like the cell hasn’t been in use for the past ten days. 

“Sorry, Sheriff Hackett,” she says, voice as sweet as syrup. “I was just finishing up in here when I thought I saw a brick loose, and the door shut on me. The stupid thing's stuck again.”

Travis’ teeth grind together, lips twitching like a live snake. If he doesn’t kill her right here, she imagines he’ll do it once his niece leaves.

"Travis has told me a lot about you!” she says brightly, turning her attention back on the totally oblivious girl. “He can't stop bragging. You’re thinking of applying for college, right?"

Kaylee beams, and if Laura weren’t so desperate in this moment, she’d almost feel guilty for laying the false foundation. 

“Yeah!” She tosses a curious look at her uncle, no doubt picking up on the murderous vibes coming off in waves. “I mean, I’ve totally been thinking about it. I’ve just had a hard time convincing my family,” she backtracks slowly.

“Well, if you’re able to convince them, I’ve been attending St. Lawrence and I love it. I’m studying to be a vet, and they’ve got great professors for the sciences.”

Kaylee gives her a smaller smile. “That’s great. I’m, uh, looking to study the arts.”

“Oh!” Laura leans in, effectively avoiding eye contact with the shadow behind her. “What arts?”

“Um, honestly?” Kaylee gives a little self-deprecating laugh, and something about it is so familiar, yet she can’t put a finger on why. “I really love to paint… and sculpt, but I’m not that great at that. Which is why I’d like to get a degree, maybe learn how to paint on something that isn’t a flat canvas.”

“That’d be cool! I’ve never taken a pottery class, but it looks like fun.” Small talk has never before held such a weight. There’s no sign that it isn’t working to endear her to his niece, but Travis is still eerily silent, and this whole situation is a tad too ridiculous to not be skeptical of.

A slight frown perches on Kaylee’s lips, and she casts a look to the man behind her. “Uncle T, why aren’t you letting her out already?”

Because I know you’re a werewolf, and if your family finds out, we're screwed. Kaylee’s eyes dart between the two of them.

Like a magnet, Laura locks onto Travis, and he tilts his head ever so slightly. She holds her breath.

He steps forward, slowly unclipping the ring from his belt. 

The key slips in with a soft click—

—and he lets her out.

#another lost soul #laura kearney #the quarry #travis hackett #the quarry fanfic #the quarry fanfiction #kaylee hackett #i ran out of relevant gifs lmao

[inlovewiththestars]

Life Update...

Damn it's been a long time since I made a post here... well tbh I just wanted to change some things in my life. AND I DID.

I read some old (mostly private) posts of mine and damn i was so heartbroken lol. Hmmmm I won't say I am completely over it. But the past two years have phenomenally changed my life.

My reality has shifted a lot and Tbh I have kind of become a preacher of loa .

And It works , it's hard but it works. It works both ways so it can ruin you too.

However being away from here , detached me from myself , I stopped writing . I journaled in my personal diary every now and then . But I wasn't able to express myself. It was completely silent in my mind . I was detaching myself from my old personality the weak one. And somewhere in between my self reflections over life went silent. I don't know If i will continue to write here . But it feels great to see how far I have come.

Old me would be amazed to hear all the stories I have got to tell now.

I was so hard on her and I am sorry for that.

But I have learned to take care of myself and I have also grown some teeth for those who try to hurt me . I am not that much of a people pleaser now and might act cold time to time. But that is the thing . I will stay true to myself and my needs and if i feel people have nothing to offer to me in terms of love or genuine connection , i don't force , I simply don't give a fuck.

I hardly meet any unpleasant people in my life anymore and don't give people the opportunity to treat me as a door mat.

I can clearly see when someone is projecting their own insecurities over me and easily detach every time this happens.

I kinda like and admire this new self of mine . I shouldn't have been so insecure in myself during my childhood to take mistreatment. But I were a kid and I thought people are rewarded for their kindness in this world like in fairytales.

But that's not true .

I was such a hopeless romantic . I thought giving more of myself will make people accept me. When i should have poured that love I had on myself first.

My old self was too innocent. This might be my villain era but this is only about setting boundaries . Maybe I still am too soft inside to see this act as a villainous thought. Boundaries are there to protect us from emotional predators .

Despite of how stupid and deluded I were , I am glad I Still maintained my values and didn't do stupid things to please people.

First I felt bad and evil but then I realized that me compromising my values would have worked in favor for them and no wonder they were pissed.

These days I am feeling like I am not making any significant progress but now looking back I am realizing that it's just because I stopped keeping track .

" Get busy living or get busy dying " has like become one of the most inspiring things for me now. Cause it's true , I was too busy dying and now I am trying to live.

Even if it's slightly but on some real cocky shit , I do believe that I am a catch lol . And I won't give myself away for free. You either earn the connection or you don't . But I won't treat someone like a prize . I won't put anyone on a pedestal. I too bring a lot to the table and I am not going to accept anyone just like that.

Tbh This in my experience has actually made my life better. Since this mentality I have met very nice people who respect me a lot and I too cherish our connection.

I think we do need to be careful and mindful about who we give our love to and to only be with those who make you feel good about yourself otherwise Your whole self esteem will get fucked up and you will spend the rest of your life being a victim and wondering what did you do wrong .

My life has become very calm in terms of relationships , I won't say I have tons of friends but every time I am going though sth I know I can call any of them and they will answer and talk to me for hours till I feel better. I do the same for them and it's beautiful. So yeah , sounds cliche but try loving yourself first , meditate , at-least once a week practice gratitude and always remember "Your Thoughts dictate your Reality". When I started believing that I deserved to be treated better , I Started getting treated better. Period.

#thoughts #life update #loa #life lessons #spilled thoughts #life #love yourself

[marybeatriceofmodena]

You know, I’ve been thinking today about how Alina doesn’t even really work as a Reluctant Hero, compared her to Frodo to see the key differences (since Frodo is pretty much the Poster Child for the Reluctant Hero), and then I realized... 

You know, I think L/eigh B/ardugo wrote TGT as a very black-and-white fairytale, where Alina is the princess, Mal’s the knight in the shining armor, and the Darkling is basically the dragon, except it doesn’t really work because the worldbuilding requires an approach that’s... a lot more grey? 

The thing is, though, I realized... Alina and Mal are basically meant to be Frodo and Sam. Except that, again... it doesn’t really work. 

Frodo works as a Reluctant Hero, because he makes it clear multiple times that he doesn’t want to carry the Ring. He asks Gandalf to do it for him, he asks Galadriel, he asks Aragorn, and they all refuse, because they are (or are called to be) in a position of power, and while them being in a position of power is presented as good, the One Ring essentially represents the fast, easy way to get to it, which will ultimately corrupt them rather than have them fight their way towards their goal. 

Frodo, meanwhile, is the right person to carry the Ring, because he comes from a humble place and he doesn’t really have any aspirations to become powerful. And while he’s clearly burdened by having to carry the One Ring, and that he makes it clear that he wishes the Ring had never come to him, he still goes on anyway, despite all the hardships he faces, because his ultimate goal is to save the Shire and his friends, and that desire is stronger than any fear or greed he may have. 

Now, J.R.R. Tolkien himself said that he didn’t really see Frodo as THE Hero, and that Sam is the real Hero of the story to him. Which makes sense, given how Sam was based off young men from rural England he met while fighting in World War I. But also, the story makes it very clear that without Sam, who’s arguably the most pure-hearted person in all of Middle-Earth, Frodo would have definitely failed in his task. The reason why he resists the temptation to carry the One Ring is LITERALLY because him protecting and helping Frodo is more important to him. Sam doesn’t give two shits about power. Helping Frodo save the Shire and coming back to everything he’s ever loved is more important to him. 

Both Alina and Frodo are pure-hearted orphans who are given tremendous power: Alina is the Sun Summoner, and Frodo carries the One Ring. In both cases, power is represented as a corruptive force, that makes people go mad with greed. It works in the context of The Lord of the Rings, given how the rings were given to leaders of Elves, Dwarves and Men, and that Sauron created the One Ring to rule over and control all of them. The Grisha, on the other hand, unlike the Ring-bearers, are not in a position of power, given they are essentially victims of Fantastic Racism in pretty much every country. While Ravka treats them slightly better than in Fjerda or Shu Han, it’s still not ideal and it’s something that could be taken away from them at any moment. It would be an entirely different matter if the Grisha were the ones rulling over Ravka and viewing otkazat’sya as lesser, and in that context, Alina being the Sun Summoner would be a very obvious road to her becoming corrupted. 

Frodo refusing to carry the One Ring and asking other people to take that burden from him comes from a place of genuine fear of what the Ring might do to him. In his place, we’d probably all do the same thing. That’s what makes his acceptance of his task all the more admirable. Alina, on the other hand, refuses to be the Sun Summoner and to help her fellow Grisha because that stands in the way of her ending up with Mal. She never gives any sign that she’s truly empathizing with the Grisha’s plight, she tries to run away not once, but twice, and most importantly, she never sees herself as one of them. They are othered, but it matters little to her, because she doesn’t want to be othered herself, because that stands in the way of her running off with a boy. It’s basically the equivalent of Frodo being overcome by fear after seeing the fate of the Shire in Galadriel’s mirror, and just demanding to be sent to the Grey Havens straight away to save his own ass from it all and just leaving the One Ring to whoever wants to deal with it. At that point, it’s not being a Reluctant Hero: it’s being a coward at best, a selfish bastard at worst. 

(And that’s why I don’t really buy her when she tells Aleksander that they could have had it all if he had told her all the truth from the start, because... again, she didn’t seem to care about the Grisha that much and Aleks telling her everything would have actually been a sure way of having her run as fast as possible the other way. I know the story is trying to tell me otherwise and that the plot point I’m supposed to see here is that Alina was willing to do something until she felt betrayed by Aleks, which is... not what was shown here, and it’s especially annoying considering how Alina is a deserter in every sense of the word, and that any army would have court-martialed her for running away.) 

So if Alina is meant to be a pure, selfless heroine, who loses her powers because she also refuses to be greedy... that just falls completely flat, because if anything, she’s as selfish as Frodo is selfless, because all of this really just boils down to her wanting to run off with Mal. 

Now, onto Sam and Mal. Both of them are basically Everymen who are there to help the Hero and keep their feet on the ground. As mentioned earlier, Sam is the one who helps Frodo finish his mission to Mordor, and the story makes it clear Frodo would have failed without him. TGT meanwhile presents Mal as Alina’s “True North”... which could work on paper as Alina’s reminder to temper Aleksander’s efforts and to remind him that in order for Grisha to be viewed as people, it is important for them to also remember that balance and peace between Grisha and otkazat’sya will be essential, so resentment and hatred can be healed between both groups. 

The key difference here is that Sam is completely supportive of Frodo at all times. Even when Frodo sends him away in the film, Sam goes back after him the minute he realizes he’s been tricked by Gollum. He never shames Frodo whenever he falls prey to temptation, he simply reminds him of who he is and what he must fight for, and even when he’s climbing Mount Doom, he still carries Frodo on his back despite being probably completely exhausted, because Frodo’s more exhausted than he is. He completely accepts Frodo as both his friend, the Hobbit from the Shire, and the Ring-bearer he needs to help, even if he might die in the process. 

Mal (in the books, that is) makes it very clear that he does not accept Alina as both the girl he knew and the Sun Summoner. He only wants the girl, and whenever Alina makes steps towards being the Sun Summoner, he basically sulks and yells at her for not paying attention to him. Despite Alina becoming othered in the eyes of the world, he refuses to see her as othered, mostly because it is inconvenient to him rather than because he loves her for who she is. That’s why in the end, people feel like Alina lost her powers in order to be with Mal, because Mal would never accept her in her entirety. Sam, on the other hand, accepts Frodo as both Ring-bearer and Hobbit, because if he didn’t, Frodo would have failed. 

And while they made Mal in the show a lot nicer than his book counterpart, he still doesn’t work as Alina’s “True North”, because he cossets her in her selfishness. He may say he doesn’t care about how Alina is a Grisha in this one, but he also doesn’t consider the implications of it all - which is especially glaring given he’s a soldier himself. Like, look, if you’re going to slap in a racism plotline to make Mal/ina work, you’d think that being half-Shu would give Mal a little awareness that people are going to treat Alina badly for being half-Shu AND a Grisha, and given Alina is the MOTHERFUCKING SUN SUMMONER AND A SAINT, maybe, just maybe he’d tell her: “Heh, it’s kinda lame we’ll just run off and let everyone else in the dust, you know, especially since we could make our lives as well as everyone else’s better?” Seriously, if you’re going to make Mal Alina’s “True North”, have him face her duties and her calling whether she likes it or not, don’t coddle her when she wants to run the other way because she wants to hide under a rock for the rest of her life. 

With all that being said, that leaves us with the Darkling, who... I mean, given his whole schtick is that power corrupts and makes you evil and crazy, I guess that makes him Gollum, but sexy. 

Gollum, but sexy. 

That single expression has been haunting me ever since I started writing the above novel and I fucking hate it. You’re welcome. No one wanted Sexy Gollum. Absolutely no one. Fuck this shyte. See, this is why I want Darkling Redemption. I do not want to live in a world where Gollum is sexy. I need brain bleach. 

Even here it doesn’t even fucking work because Gollum hid in a cave with the Ring with a strategically placed cloth because no one wants to see his crusty ass family jewels anyway, while Aleks worked his ass off to give the Grisha a safe place to live and to at the very least ensure they’re useful enough to not be killed like animals. Like, if you’re going to give the world something that’s gonna definitely not make me sleep tonight like Sexy Gollum, at least do it right. 

#now i have thoroughly traumatized myself :) #anti grishaverse #anti leigh bardugo #anti mal #anti malina #darklina #alarkling #rants and reviews

[gr0vndz3ro]

Sweet Somethings

(Sweet Nothings Pt.2)NSFW

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, cursing, sugar daddy, daddy kink, size kink (if you squint), slight oral, finger fucking, loss of virginity, praise kink

Word count:6,906

Tag List (permanent): @keigod @dragonhrte @mrs-takami-keigo @fanfic-me-up @gallickingun  @royal-after-dark @hawks-senseis @bnhabookclub

Crossed off: Virgin x Veteran

A/N: I’m so surprised with the amount of love I’ve been getting with Sweet Nothings, it’s almost at 1k when I’m posting this and I can’t put into words how shocked I am. I honestly didn’t think anyone would care for it. I love y’all so much so I hope I did you guys proud with this. 

Pt.1 Here

One would expect nice things out of a sugar daddy, but that did not mean you were prepared for them. And you were certainly not ready for the luxurious sports car that stood in front of you. Pitch black with orange accents, a monstrous growl emanating from underneath the hood. The nicest car you had ever seen, yet the only thing your brain could focus on was the warmth pressed against you back. The way you could feel Katsuki’s hard pecs through the fabric of both his shirt and your dress was enough to make your thighs press together. What surprised you the most was the way that this man, who was almost a complete stranger to you, was able to control your body with such little effort.

You felt yourself almost let out a whine when he removed himself from behind you, making his way to the passenger side door and opening it for you to make your way inside. Stepping forward, you try to regain what little composure you had, and make your way to the seat, promptly reaching for the buckle when your wrist is stopped by his calloused grip. In confusion, you move your head up to meet eyes with the man attached to the hand now holding onto you. 

“Please, what kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn’t buckle the lady’s seat for her. You do take me for a gentleman, don’t you?” The kind smile upon his lips telling a different story from the devious look he was giving you. You nod your head in agreement, not truly trusting your words as you move your hand away to allow him to do what he was wanting. His fingers wrap around the metal clasp and drag it across your body, bringing it closer to the fastener. Yet as he did so, he allowed his hand to graze against your semi exposed thigh. A tingle rushing throughout you at the simple touch. How are such small things affecting you so drastically?

While the drive was fairly quiet, it oddly wasn’t uncomfortable, yet the hand gently placed just above your knee was quickly going to become your undoing. You had given up on trying to figure out where it was the two of you were going soon after you 4th time asking him, only getting excuses in response along the lines of, ‘What’s the fun in you knowing’, ‘That will ruin the surprise’, and many others. So instead, you have resorted to taking in the passing scenery. The tall buildings that passed you by slowly started to thin out until eventually the only buildings you could see were little convenience stores and well kept historical homes. But it got to the point that they too soon left your view and the only thing that laid outside of the glass were the colossal trees that blocked out the sky. 

After some time, the vehicle slowed down as it approached a gated fence. Saying it was a gated fence felt like an understatement as it was equal to what you would see guarding the homes of Hollywood celebrities. While nearing the entrance, Katsuki rolls down his window while tilting his head to the camera that was positioned on top of a speaker. Words were exchanged between him and whoever was on the other side of the speaker, and while you couldn’t make out everything the man was saying one phrase caught your attention, “Welcome home sir.” Your brow dips in turmoil as you try to convince yourself that the thoughts that were racing through your mind, were not the reason he was bringing you here. Surely he didn’t think that all the money he had donated meant that he had ownership over you and your body. Because if that was what he was thinking he had another thing coming. Almost sensing your inner dilemma, he let out a chuckle before lightly brushing his thumbs against your knee.

“You have nothing to worry about. I told you I was a gentleman, didn’t I?” The smile that pulled at his lips was enough to calm your anxieties. Your head travels to the window to watch as you pass by more trees. How big was this property? When you realize that the tires beneath you had come to a halt, you turn back to him only to watch as he steps out of the car. After unbuckling your seatbelt, you didn’t even have enough time to reach out for the handle before he was opening your door for you, extending his hand out for you to hold onto as you step out of the vehicle. Your mouth opens to ask him what you're doing here but feel yourself quickly get silenced by the warm presence of his hand on your back and his mouth close to your ear. “It’s a surprise, remember? Trust me, you won't be treated like anything less of the princess you are tonight.” A blush dancing across your face as he interlocks his hand with your own, gently guiding you away from where you were parked. 

He led you down a stone path that trailed right along the edge of the small forest, lanterns lighting the way. Smaller trees draped over the path way, shielding you from the slowly setting sun. It wasn’t dark out yet, but the shade that the leaves provided created a cozy aura to the whimsical path. The whole walkway was almost something out of a fairytale. But it almost was fitting with the knight in shining armor on your side. Looking up you watch as his hair just slightly moves with every step he takes. You could tell it had been styled out of his face, but it was almost as if the unruly hair was attempting to fight back the products holding it down. But while you were entranced by the man on your side, you had almost missed the new breeze that swept past you. As the trees start to clear, you turn your head to find yourself shocked. Not because of the chill that was now running down your spine due to the cold wind, or even the gorgeous colors of the setting sun reflecting off of the water. No, instead it was because of the massive yacht that was docked at the pier of this beautiful lake. 

Your jaw drops as he takes you toward the pier and closer to this magnificent boat. As you walk along the side you read the S.S. Lady Explosion Murder. It was kept in pristine condition, almost making you wonder if it had ever even been sailed. When he brings the two of you to a halt, you finally manage to bring your eyes away from the boat and look to see that he stopped in front of the stairs that lead onto it. You look up at him to see if you were supposed to go on, to which he responds by extending his free arm and doing a slight bow as if to say ‘after you’. He releases his hold on your hand to allow you to stabilize yourself on the handrail. As you make your way onto the ship, you see a table romantically decorated for two in the middle of the deck. Roses lay in a vase on the center of the table and candles placed strategically around the area to allow for just the right amount of light. Your jaw slightly drops at the lovely table that he had set up, turning back to him, catching his eye in the process.

“Did you do all of this for me?” In genuine shock, since no person had ever gone this all out for you before. He takes a step toward you closing off the distance before lightly grazing your cheek with his hand, tucking the loose stand behind your ear.

“Of course, you deserve nothing less than the best. I would have done more but I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I just thought a nice dinner on the lake would be good for our first date.”

“You sound so confident that there is going to be more, quite the confident one aren’t you?” A slight smirk making its way to your face as you question him. But he quickly steals the smirk away from you as it travels over to him as he speaks again, his voice now a low purr.

“I have plenty of reasons to be confident. If you’re lucky you may find out why.” Your face turning a dark hue at what his words could imply. A chuckle emits from him as he watches you turn red. “You’re so easy to mess with princess, here let’s go and enjoy our nice night.”  he once again places his hand on your lower back, guiding you to your chair before promptly pulling out your seat for you. You say a quick thank you to him as he pushes you forward, before making his way to the other side of the table to sit across from you. As you both got seated, you felt the boat start to move as it departed from the dock and started making its way further out on the lake. You couldn’t help but watch the water as it hits the side of the boat, mesmerized in the way the colors of the sky reflected off of it. You turn back away from the view to look at the stunning man in front of you.

“So I’m guessing that this must be your yacht?” You assumed that it was but you were curious to see if you were in fact on his property or not.

“It is, this is just the boat I keep here up here at the lake. It’s not often I’m actually able to come up here and enjoy it as I tend to be a workaholic you could say.”

“I do have to ask then, is there any meaning behind the ‘Lady Explosion Murder’?” A smile on your face as you ask him about the bizarre name. You understood men naming them after women they love for good luck, but you couldn’t imagine anyone being named that. He started to laugh at the memories of how he came across the name.

“Do you know what it is I do for a living?” He asked and it caused you to pause, seeing as you hadn’t actually even thought of it. You shook your head no and waited for him to continue explaining. “So, I’m the CEO for a large weapons and ammunition company. We mostly work with the military and deal with trading in foreign affairs. But when I was in school for my business degree we had to come up with a name for a mock company we worked on for a school project. I wanted to name the company King Explosion Murder then Lord Explosion Murder but the teacher said that both of those were too violent so I eventually ended up picked Ground Zero. When I open my own company I choose the same name I had used back then. But as a little homage to the ‘good ole days’ I decided to name the ship in favor of the rejected names.” 

The two of you ended up laughing as he started talking more about his times in high school and you found yourself intrigued at all his stories about him and his childhood friends. He casually was able to switch the conversation over so that it was now on you and as the dinner for the night made its way to the table, you were telling all about your embarrassing memories and the horrible dates you had gone on.  

“So you're telling me he tried to kiss you after that?” Bakugou had never laughed so hard in his life, yet it came so easy when he was with you.

“Yes he did! He spilled his entire glass of soda on me, attempted to ‘wipe it off’ and then proceeded to go in tongue first for a kiss at the end of the night. Needless to say I went home alone once again. I was convinced I was doomed and never going to be able to get past a first date with a decent guy let alone get a boyfriend.” A slight chuckle leaving your lips as you reminisce on all the horrible first dates you had been on. He paused in his laughter as your words processed in his brain.

“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me you’ve never had a boyfriend? You’ve got to be shitting me. There’s no way.” A light blush covering your cheeks as he stares at you in disbelief. You shrug your shoulders to say that it was true and he shakes his head. “Please tell me that this hasn’t been at least half as bad as any of your last dates with those wanna be’s” You smile as you watch him stand up from his seat and make his way over to where you were, extending his hand so that you could take it once again.

“It has already been a thousand times better, might even let you kiss me at the end,” Bakugou pulled you up from your chair, but since you weren’t expecting the force, you ended up tripping on your feet and landing dead center of his chest. You glance up making eye contact with him, your cheeks heating up once again as a familiar, devilish smirk spreads across his face. He tilts his head down and lowers it just above your ear, allowing his hot breath to fan across your neck as he speaks again.

“It looks like I already have you falling for me love, are you sure I’ll have to wait for the end of the date for that kiss?” As he goes to pull away from your ear, you move your hand to the back of his neck, keeping him there as you speak.

“Good things come to those who wait Mr. Bakugou.” You release his neck and are relieved to see that for once you weren’t the one with a tint of red across your face. Looking over his shoulder you could see that the sun was starting to set and you got excited at the opportunity to watch the sun set on this beautiful boat. “Oooo, let’s go watch the sun set,” A innocent smile on your face, ignoring what you had previously said to him, instead taking his hand and leading him to the railing on the side of the ship, wanting the best possible view of the setting sun. As you stood with your arms resting against the rail, Bakugou’s arms wrap around your frame, securely holding you against it and his warm torso. Resting his chin on the top of your head, you both stay silent as you enjoy the view together.

As you look off into the distance, just enjoying the peaceful quiet out on the lake, it is disturbed by a man walking up to you. He had cleared his throat, startling, only further pushing you against Bakugou’s  chest. You could feel his hard pecs through the thin material separating you. As you go to move away from his chest, the grasp of his hand on your waist holds you tightly against him. For the hundredth time that night, your face goes red but with a new reason. Not because of any lewd words, or any innuendoes. Instead it was because of the pressure that was now on your butt. You were almost positive he wasn’t hard and the size of it in this state was enough to make your thighs clench. Just how fucking big is he? Your hips unintentionally rock backwards at the thought. The grip that was on your hip tightens as a light groan emits from his throat at the contact. If you weren’t turned on before, that sinful noise definitely had you soaked. As your thoughts continue going south, the man that had startled you in the first place spoke up.

“Sorry to disturb you sir, but there seems to be a malfunction with the engine. It’s nothing major but we aren’t going to be able to get anyone out here until the morning. I can call for another boat to bring you to shore, but I don’t know how long that will take to get here.” He stood by, awaiting an answer from Katsuki. He slightly steps away from you giving you just enough room to turn around to face him. Once facing him, he asks you,

“Would you like me to call for a boat so you can get back to your hotel? It should only take a few hours hopefully. But if you are tired, you can always stay in one of the bedrooms on board the yacht. It isn’t a problem, there’s multiple bedrooms if that would be an issue.” Looking into his eyes it didn’t seem like he had an ulterior agenda, but instead genuinely seemed to want to make sure you were comfortable, and was willing to make whatever you wanted happen. That thought made a smile cross your lips, as he made you feel safe and comfortable, even only knowing him for a small amount of time.

“I’m alright with just staying on the ship. Don’t stress yourself with ordering a charter boat.” Katsuki returned your smile as he slowly turned away from you to inform the crew member that the two of you would be spending the night on the ship but he was free to call for a charter boat if he wanted to go back home. After the man gave a polite bow to the two of you, he turned around and left to go back to the wheel. Now that the two of you were alone, he turned back to you taking your hand in his once again.

“Did you want to head to bed now? Or would you like for me to show you where your room for the night will be?” You nod your head saying yes, after which he guides you to the undercarriage of the boat. There was what seemed to be a living room and jetting off from the room was a hallway which had 3 doors. His other hand that wasn’t connected with you reached out toward the handle of one of the doors. He twists it open and a large bedroom presents itself. Stepping to the side, he makes enough room to allow you to pass by him to enter the room and explore for yourself. You make your way toward the dresser that was next to the wall before turning around when you hear him speak up again. “I’ll be right back, I’m just going to grab you some clothes for you to sleep in.”

As he exits the room you take the time to examine the room. Your hand runs up the bed, the soft sheets almost calling your name to plop down onto them. But you hold yourself back and instead just sit on the edge of it, almost sinking in as the bed welcomes you in cozy arms. Just as you were about to get lost in the relaxation this mattress was tempting you with, Katsuki walked back into the room, a few clothes in his hand. He placed them on the side table before sitting next to you on the bed.

“I only had some of my clothes in the other room, so I hope you don’t mind but I just grabbed you some of my stuff.” He moved his head to look over at you and paused at how close your faces were. His eye brow slightly raises as his eyes travel down your face before landing on your lips, lingering before returning to meet you stare. His hand ghosted over the side of your body before traveling behind your neck, entangling in your hair at the base of your head. “Did you need help with anything else before I go?” You felt frozen under his lustful stare, unable to get the words out of your mouth as there was a lump in the back of your throat and an intense burn in your core. Swallowing the lump you speak up.

“I think I can think of a thing or two you could help me with.” Slightly leaning your head forward, feeling yourself getting drawn closer to him. But he must have felt the same because you could feel his word fan across your lips as he replied.

“And what would that be, princess?” His voice so smooth it came out almost as a purr. Yet instead of responding you push yourself forward, closing the small distance between the two of you. Your lips meet in a passionate kiss, perfectly molding together as if they had been created to only meet one another's lips. Your hand runs up his arm to tangle in his hair, gripping it as you try to drown yourself as the kiss makes you almost lightheaded. His spare hand moves down to your hip, squeezing it before relaxing it. The hand that was buried in your hair grips down, tugging at the strands, making a soft gasp leave your mouth at the pulling sensation. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Bakugou dives his tongue into your mouth, exploring the new area. Your tongues battle before his hold on your hair and hip tightens causing you to submit. Your hands travel down from his hair to his chest before you break away from the kiss by pushing his torso flush against the mattress. As you both attempt to catch your breath your hands make quick work to unbutton his pants, his hand grabbing your wrist before you could continue.

“Hey, I don’t want you to think we have to do anything alright? You pause to look up at him taking in deep breath taking in his appearance. His hair messier now from your hands messing it up. His face coating in a thin tint of red from the heat of the situation. Your eyes start to travel down, looking at how the top few buttons of his shirt had come undone, allowing his collarbone to poke out and letting you catch a glimpse of the chiseled pecs that had yet to leave your mind from the first time you had video called each other. Continuing your exploration, your eyes stop when you reach his pants. the tent in his pants prominent under your devouring stare. Reaching your hand out, you let your hand lightly grasp his member, earning a throaty groan from the man under you. Pulling your bottom lip into your mouth as you slowly palm him through his dress pants. Even semi hard you could feel just how thick he was. Moving your hand, your eyes shoot back up to meet with his, his hooded eyes watching your every move. 

“Oh I know. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to do something,” a smile on your face as you separate yourself from him, reaching for the zipper to your dress allowing it to slip past your shoulders and fall to the floor with a soft thud. Strutting your way back to where he was, you connect your hands with his waistband, tugging both his pants and his underwear along with it as you pull them down his muscular thighs. His dick slapping against his abdomen as it is released from its tight confines. Your eyes widen as you feel your jaw slightly drop at the view. Sure you had felt how large it was, but it was nothing in comparison to seeing it in person, right in front of your very eyes. Lowing yourself in front of him, the temptation to lick it was overwhelming as you felt your mouth watering at the sight of it. Taking his length in your hand, you give it a gentle squeeze as you open your mouth, running a long stripe up his length, tracing the pronounced vein that ran underneath of him. You hear him suck in a breath as your tongue flickers over his swollen tip, his hair immediately flying to your hair, needing something to hold onto at the sudden feeling.

“Shit baby girl, don’t mess with me like that.” You would have smirked at the comment but you were preoccupied at the moment. Opening your mouth further you take his head into your mouth, flicking your tongue against him again as you suck on his tip before releasing it while an audible pop. Bringing your head back down you take him into your mouth, relaxing your jaw as you attempt to take him fully into your mouth, almost being successful, but with how big he was it was nearly impossible for you to get him all in. You hold yourself near the base of his dick, tears swelling in your eyes as you try to relax so as to not choke around him. You feel yourself start to gag around him but the low groan that left his mouth made it completely worth it, the sinful sound sending a surge straight to your dripping core. Pulling yourself off of him, you gasp for air as he brushes your hair out of your face.

“Fuck princess, get over here.” He pulls you up to him and connects his lips to you, the kiss much messier than it was before, heated, but amazing to say the least. You break away from him still trying to catch your breath from before.

“Why’d you stop me, I could do a lot more you know.” You walk your fingers across his torso as you give him a playful wink.

“Oh I bet you could, but I’ll be damned if I don’t make you into a sobbing mess before I cum.” You couldn’t hold back the whimper that manages to escape at the thought of him ruining you. “But I bet you’d love that huh princess, want me to make you feel so fucking good.” his lips travel down to your jaw, kissing his way down your neck making it to the dip in your collarbone before licking a strip all the way back to the sweet spot just under your ear. He started moving back down kissing and nibbling as he explored your neck, searching for which spots made you the loudest. That was until he felt himself physically have to pause at your next response, just barely louder than a whisper.

“Yes please daddy...” He groans deeply into, the low pitch sending an electric feeling down your spine and resonating in your core. His hand makes its way to your throat as his finger lightly wraps around it, gently squeezing the sides.

“Say it again. Louder this time.” His fingers pressing into you as you feel a rush going to your head.

“Please daddy, I need you.” He released his grip on your neck and you feel the blood rush to your head. You go to take a deep breath but as you inhale Bakugou grabs you by the waist, flipping you so that he was now inches above you as you're practically pinned to the bed. The very breath you took caught in your throat as he lowered himself to your ear as his deep voice makes chills travel throughout your body.

“What exactly do you need, princess? Come on, I want to hear you use your big girl words.” A whimper involuntarily escaping you.

“I want you to make me feel good. To-- to stuff me with your fingers an- and prep me for your big dick.” Your face a bright shade of red as every drop of confidence you had earlier left with the lewd words he demanded to hear from you. But when you made eye contact with him you could see in the way his eyes darkened and by the smirk on his face that he was satisfied with what you had said. His hands roamed across your body, his rough fingertips slightly scratching you as he looped his fingers in the waistband of your underwear, tugging them down your legs before discarding them across the room. As his hand moves back up to your legs, you press them together at the cold feeling against the newly exposed area. He raised an eyebrow at the action and placed both of his hands on each of your knees.

“Spread them.” Was all he needed to say for you to slowly open your legs, putting yourself completely on display for him. Embarrassed at how exposed you were, you went to cover your face, but that didn’t last for long when you heard him groan as he took the sight of you in. Peeking out from under your arm you watch as he licks his lips as he stares at you, looking as if he was ready to devour you then and there.

“Fuck baby girl, you’re so good, doing exactly what I tell you to do -shit.” He started to talk more to himself as he ran his finger over your entrance, sucking in a breath at just how wet you were. A string of profanities leave his mouth as he dips a finger in after completely coating it in your slick. A whimper leaves your lips at the slight stretch. Slowly pushing himself further in, he curls his finger upwards and brushes it against your spongy wall. Your hips jolt up to try to meet his hand but he is quick to place his hand on your stomach, pressing you to the table making you stop your movements. “I’m going to need you to behave princess or you aren’t going to be getting anything from me, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes daddy..” you take in your lip, hoping that the response you gave him was what he had wanted to hear so that he would continue doing whatever it was that sent that electric surge throughout your body. But when you heard the deep groan come from his throat you knew that was exactly what he had wanted to hear. Slowly he pulls his finger out of you only to push it back into you, enjoying the way you clenched around his digit. After sliding out of you a few more times, you are forced to bite down on your lip as he slips another finger inside of you in a swift movement. Each thrust of his fingers slightly curling up to make sure to press lightly against your g-spot, making a tingle shoot to the tips of your toes. A moan rips from your mouth as he curls his fingers inside of you, pressing against your wall with more force. His pace picks up as the noises coming from you do as well. Just as you start to feel a warm feeling build up, your head shoots up at the sensation of another finger being added into you. You shake your head at him trying to tell him that it was too much but you're silenced as his head dips into the crook of your neck. He leaves a trail of hot kisses all the way from your collar bone to just below your ear before he speaks again.

“You’re doing so good princess, taking my fingers like this- fuck- I know you can take it. I can feel just how close you are. Cum for me baby girl, cum all over Daddy’s fingers.” That was enough to make your body take over in a flood of white bliss as your orgasm soars through you. Your hand gripping his back, nails leaving a trail as you hold onto him. You moan out his name as he speaks in your ear. “Yess fuck baby just like that.” As you come down from your high he pulls away just far enough from you to watch as he pulls his fingers out of you. His fingers dripping as you watch him pull them to his face, his mouth wrapping around them, cleaning them and you feel yourself clench around nothing at the sight alone. His hand travels down from his mouth to your thighs, gently squeezing them before spreading them so that he could be between them. His length pressing against you as he puts each of your legs around his hips. You can feel yourself already getting wet again as his tip rubs against your swollen clit. A smirk on his lips as he watches you squirm against the sheets at the feeling of his length pressed against you. “Do you think you're ready for me? Think you’ll be able to handle it, baby?” He teases you, moving forward so that his head rubs against you again. He continues doing this, loving the way you keep moving your hips in any attempt to earn something more from him. He grabs the sides of your hips, halting your movements, causing you to whine. You try to move again just to get any kind of friction and you hear him suck in through his teeth. “Nuh uh princess, I want to hear you beg for it.”

“Please Katsuki-- god please I need you so bad. I just want you to fill me up. Please daddy, fuck me until I can’t walk.” A chuckle is all you can hear before you feel his hand ghost over your thigh, goosebumps covering you as he travels over your inner thigh to where his length was resting against you. 

“Your wish is my command, your highness.” was all you heard before the room was filled with the sounds of your moans as he pushed into you. As he slowly bottoms out inside of you, your hands shoot up his back and bury themselves in his hair, pulling him close to you. The slight pain of him stretching you out causes you to furrow your brow and bite down on your lip. Noticing your pain, Bakugou dips down, connecting his lips with your own, distracting you from the pain you were feeling. His hands lightly massaging your thighs and hips as he finally is able to press against you fully. He stills himself giving you the much needed time to adjust to his size. Even with the preparation he was so much bigger than you had expected. After some time you pull away from the kiss, your eyes meeting his as you take in a shaky breath.

“Please- move.” He gives you a smile before pulling out of you, immediately leaving you feel empty before he pushes himself back into you. He leans forward while keeping a slow pace and kisses away the tear that, unknown to you, managed to escape your eye. Pressing his forehead to yours you watch him close his eyes, his eyebrows furrowing as he sucks in a breath.

“Shit baby, you’re so fucking tight.” You didn’t know if the statement had even been for you as he was so focused on not railing himself into you. You could see on his face the struggle he was going through at the antagonizing slow pace he was holding. Taking a hold of his face you bring his attention back to you.

“You can go faster. I can handle it, just give me all you’ve got.” You watch as a sinister look takes over him as one of his hands removes itself from your hips and is planted down beside your head, his other hand’s grip on your hip tightening.

“You might want to hold on then princess.” You were just barely able to comprehend his words before you feel him pull out of you and quickly slam back into you. Not being able to hold back the moans he was pulling out of you as he repeats this action, burying his dick deep inside of you, each thrust causing his head to crash into your soft, spongy wall. While you had told him to give it his all this isn’t what you had been expecting. The pure pleasure coursing through you as his unforgiving speed and power only seems to increase. You drag your fingers down his back, sure that your nails were breaking through his skin, but at the moment, that was the least of your concerns. You threw your head back against the pillow as you feel him attach himself to your neck, his mouth leaving hot open kisses against you. As one of your hands pulls against his hair, a deep groan rumbles through his throat sending the vibration straight into you as he connects himself to you again, his kisses turning into harsh sucking and nibbles. As he moves down your neck he stops at where it connects with your collar bone when he hears the broken moan that leaves from you. As he licks a stripe up the length of your throat back to his new favorite spot, a chill runs through you and you clench around him. 

“Fuuuck baby girl, You keep that up and I’ll have no choice but to fuck you all night long.” You whimper at the thought alone. He continues his brutal pace as your grip in his hair tightens, holding on for dear life as you try to keep up. The way he was slamming into you was unforgiving but you loved it. Each thrust making you stretch around him, barely able to handle his size. You could feel your high coming again, and coming fast. But Bakugou must have noticed as well as the hand that was grasping your hip was now rubbing circles into your clit. The pressure was overwhelming as he also somehow picked up the force as he rams harder into you.

“You’re close, aren’t you, baby? Go ahead, cum for me. I want to hear you scream out who is making you feel this good. Let them all know who’s princess you are.” His hip tilted upwards and mixed with what he said was enough to force you to come undone. You scream out his name as your body is taken over in euphoria. “That’s it, baby girl- fuck,” was the only thing you were able to make out as you feel his paint your walls white. His thrust starts to slow as he helps the two of you ride out your highs. 

His head presses against your own as you both attempt to catch your breath, the sounds of your breathless pants were now the only thing filling the room as you feel him soften in you. You feel your body go limp as he pulls himself out of you, feeling incredibly empty. You feel the bed dip as he gets off, heading into the bathroom before returning with a wet cloth. Gently, he cleans away any mess, making sure to be careful when he gets to any sensitive areas. Afterwards he places the towel on the nightstand before sitting back on the bed. Your hands gently run over the raised skin of his back, trying to calm the now irritated skin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scratch you so bad,” You felt bad for the marks you left on him. But when he encases your face in between his hands and makes you look into his eyes, you feel a wave of relief take over as he speaks.

“Don’t feel bad princess, you are perfectly fine. If anyone should be apologizing it should be me, I may have been a little rougher than I had originally meant. I didn’t hurt you did I?” A look of worry on his face as he realizes he had sort of lost control. But when you smiled at him he felt a little bit of his stress go away.

“It was perfect. It was better than I ever could have imagined. So thank you.” He slightly smiled while his eyebrow cocked at your statement.

“You say that as if you’ve never been fucked properly before.” He chuckled as he pulled you to lay against his torso. Suddenly a wave of nervousness washed over you as you fiddled with your fingers. He looked down at you. “What is it?”

“Well that would require me to have been fucked before...” You felt him freeze under you.

“You’re kidding right?” You avoided his gaze, but his hand gently grabs your chin pulling you to look up at him. “I wish I would have known.”

“Why, would you have been gentler?” You ask him, worried that he regretted it.

“Of course I would have. It’s your first time. I wouldn’t have gone that all out, I would have held back a bit.”

“Well then I’m glad I didn’t say anything because that...” you pause taking a moment to plant a kiss against his lips. “...was amazing.” He smiled against your lips before pulling you into another kiss, this one much slower and filled with emotion than the ones you had shared before.

“I’m glad that you enjoyed it, next time I’m just going to have to make it up to you.” He brushes your hair out of your face.

“Next time?” You question him and a soft smile spreads across his face as he looks into your eyes.

“Of course, I meant it when I said you never have to worry again. You're my princess, and I’m going to make sure to take good care of you, okay?”

Bold could not be tagged: @terrifying-testicles @loxbbg @mycrennycalromance @skylan666 @wifunozomi @urmomsshousee @kellyyween @niko-su993 @cookednoodlez @guzmagirl @bleakerspath @explicitbun @qunibunisartblog @succulent-momma @anjadolly @bakugou-is-my-daddy @wessoninc @lovinthesiz3 @katsuki-bakubae @hot-pocket01 @sir-knight-slytherdor @katsukiswhore @death-to-the-patriarcy @plusultrabitches @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer @angxlicwanda  @ninjafirewitch @hellyeahbakubby @green-beanie-chan @ktsuukki @morenabambinii @kagomefan27 @anxietys-a-bitch @azgucci @theofficialhufflepuff @seungcheolieeesblog @artgirlwithglasses @sleepysuneater @justanormallyabnormalbitch @hsixen @sincerelyyrosemary @liviitehe @arsenic0tine @maddoxrabbit

#bnhabookclub #bakugo #bakugou #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo smut #bakugou smut #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo smut #katsuki bakugou smut #bakugou lemon #katsuki bakugo lemon #bakugo lemon #bnha bakugou #mha bakugou #bnha bakugo #mha bakugo #bnha smut #mha smut #bnha #mha #katsukibakugou smut #bakugou x y/n #bakugo x y/n #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #mha x reader #mha x y/n

[cheegu3]

~ Yandere Jaemin - The jester ~

[hi babies, this is one part of my nct fairytale series this one based on Alice in wonderland with jaemin <3, it had influence from both the original book and the book by marissa meyer centred in the universe + a lil of my own stuff]

I love alice in wonderland and jaemin so I’m so sorry how long this is lmao also yes I did write all of this on the same day ;-;

wc: 3.6k

summary : you live in wonderland, and everything is normal until a stranger shows up - a jester who says he’s looking for you, he seems innocent and sweet but is he really?

TW / trigger warning: yandere themes, mentions of - violence, murder, swearing, blood/gore, 18+ (suggestive), etc

The yearly mock festival was coming to an end. Humans and creatures alike were slowly making their way to the stairs and to the comfort of their homes. A stranger was also making their way over but not to his home, to the crowd. He slipped through it unnoticed and stopped, bowing in front of the queen.

She looked at him in curiosity but also in fascination. He was very much used to this, having people stare at his beauty and the way he presented himself - elegant and cocky. 

‘‘ My majesty. I come to seek refuge in your town ‘‘ the stranger said.

The queen raised her eyebrow at him and waved at the deck of cards close by, almost stumbling over their own feet in fear of displeasing the queen. 

‘‘ Show this gorgeous stranger that empty house ‘‘ the queen demanded to the cards in a shrill voice.

‘‘ Yes ma’am. Come this way! ‘‘ they answered in union.

The stranger followed them in silence but kept his distance. They went far and near, up and down the crossroads and curvy paths until they reached a small cottage. It was far from the other houses and the village but he liked it immediately.

‘‘ Here we are sir! ‘‘ the cards exclaimed in union again and turned like robots ready to go back the way they came and serve the queen, it was all they knew after all.

‘‘ Excuse me ‘‘ the stranger had had one thing and one thing only on his mind throughout the whole trip there.

The reason he was here in the first place

You

‘‘ Do you happen to know where...y/n is? ‘‘

The deck of cards looked baffled, one of them even chuckled.

‘‘ y/n? Why would you want to see her sir, she’s so very eh- ‘‘ one said

‘‘ -mad ‘‘ another filled in.

‘‘ Who are you anyway? ‘‘ said another

‘‘ Jaemin, I’m a jester from far far away ‘‘ he said with clenched teeth, growing impatient at the lack of answer he was getting.

‘‘ Why would you like to see her? ‘‘ said one

‘‘ She’s not special ‘‘ said yet another

‘‘ I have to ‘‘ he said firmly and was now clenching his fist.

‘‘ She’s not far from here sir. She lives in the cottage opposite this forest ‘‘ said one card with cloves on his front.

‘‘ Thank you ‘‘ Jaemin exclaimed in relief and watched as the deck of cards turned and walked down the path.

On the outside it looked like an old cottage like any other, with broken windows and an overgrown garden. The jester wasn’t surprised, they must’ve given him the most ugly and worn out house since he was still a stranger but with a few snaps of his fingers, the inside would look a lot better than the outside.

As he had finished snapping his fingers three times he saw the familiar white cloud in the window but before he walked in he had to check around the area. He thought he heard the rustling of leaves and twigs being broken.

Looking to his right, he saw in the distance how a girl was walking towards him. Instinctively his heart started to beat faster because what if it was you? The girl was wearing a dress which was blue and she had a white apron tightly wrapped around her which was full of flour. In her right hand she was holding a basket filled with something and her hair shone bright in the sunlight that was peeking through the thick trees above.

// YOUR POV //

You were just about to walk past your favourite abandoned cabin when you noticed, it was no longer abandoned. A handsome young man, about the same age as yourself was standing outside it. You being all alone though, this far out from other people made you scared so you kept your head down right when you passed by him.

‘‘ Hey! ‘‘ you sighed in disappointment, all too often creepy men or creatures would try to stop you and flirt which made you very uncomfortable.

You tried to put on a fake smile before you turned to face him.

‘‘ Hi! ‘‘

‘‘ You’re y/n ‘‘ he stated.

You probably looked very confused to the stranger. How did he know your name? In this wide land, you were a nobody and this random man you just stumbled upon seems to know who you are - by the look of his curious brown eyes studying you - maybe he even knew everything about you.

‘‘ Yes..sir. Can I help you? ‘‘ you asked hesitantly and wanted to punch yourself for sounding so small and helpless.

The boy took some time to answer, suddenly looking a bit nervous the way he fumbled with his hands.

‘‘ Oh, I just. I’m your new neighbour, Jaemin. The cards said I might meet a young woman here who lived close by ‘‘ 

Shit, you were really too paranoid sometimes, this was just a harmless boy who had moved in right next to you.  

‘‘ Oh! Yes of course ‘‘ you smiled at him with more genuine warmth now           

 ‘‘ Welcome to the neighbourhood then I suppose ‘‘

They boy nodded and chuckled. He was very attractive, and you were pretty sure he knew it. Tall, dark and handsome with puppy like brown eyes and fluffy hair. He had a defined nose and rosy lips that matched his smooth and beautiful skin. But the most attractive thing about him, to you, was the way he carried himself. 

That smile could just about make any girl fall for him, maybe even worship him. As he stood there looking at you become entranced with his beauty you began to wonder if he was using magic on you so you put your guard up again slightly.

‘‘ Thank you. I hope to see you around, where do you work? ‘‘ he asked and you almost bit your lip at the look he was giving you, it was very intense and his smile yet again so charming.

‘‘ Oh! ‘‘ you exclaimed suddenly, you had forgotten to answer and had just stared at him getting completely lost. You saw him smirking at this.

‘‘ I-I work at the bakery in town, hence- ‘‘ you gestured to your flour dusted apron and dress with a sad smile.

He laughed heartily but assured you,

‘‘ You look fine, trust me ‘‘

You smiled shyly in response. It felt like he was kind of flirting, he was giving you that look again that both turned you on and made you creeped out, it said

I know everything about you 

Nevertheless if that was the case, you felt very much intrigued with this new stranger and you didn’t want him to be a stranger for long.

‘‘ I suppose I’ll see you around then ‘‘ you said suddenly when the tension had built up even more and you started remembering all the responsibilities you had at your work.

It felt like you had been here for about an hour and you had muffins to bake and customers to please.

‘‘ I suppose you will ‘‘ he answered with an amused glint in his eyes.

You decided to turn even though your body and heart really wanted to stay. Your intuition and head however won over the battle inside you and told you to get the fuck away from him.

You kept your back turned as you made you way past the mysterious boy. You had a feeling that he was still watching you as you went, eyes never leaving you and it freaked you out a little, making you shudder.

The rest of the day went on as if it was like any other day. Tons of baking and getting your hands dirty, chatty customers and delicious desserts. By the end of the long workday your muscles were aching. You cleaned up and did your usual routine of locking up the store when everyone had left.

Usually you wouldn’t think twice about walking home in the dark, your bakery closed at midnight so it was way past sunset. It was practically pitch black outside and no one was on the streets, they were all at home probably sound asleep. For some reason the queen had decided that all houses be soundproof in the village. So the fear was increasing when you thought about the stranger, the dark and walking home alone because if something happened no one would help you - they wouldn’t hear you scream or hear you cry out for help.

You turned the key that locked the bakery with shaky hands but tried to compose yourself. You had a very odd and naive thought in your head,

If I don’t get attacked tonight I can trust Jaemin

It truly didn’t make any sense but just about every cell in your body wanted to trust him, and wanted him to like you, like the way you were so attracted to him.

‘‘ y/n? ‘‘ a voice behind you said interrupting your thoughts.

You shrieked and jumped in surprise, throwing your arms up in some pathetic attempt at defence in case you’d need it.

‘‘ It’s just me, your neighbour ‘‘ 

You lowered your arms and smiled at him apologetically.

‘‘ Sorry ‘‘

‘‘ Don’t be I get it. It’s dark, no one’s around and I just startled you like that, I should be the one to apologise ‘‘ 

‘‘ No no, it’s just that I don’t like walking home in the dark ‘‘ you assured him, now feeling really guilty.

‘‘ I can walk you home ‘‘ he offered with a friendly smile.

You were silent for a bit, thinking to yourself before making up your mind.

‘‘ Yeah, I’d like that. Thank you ‘‘ you returned back the smile even though you still felt a bit uncomfortable.

Jaemin joined your side and waited for you to step away from the shop and decide the pace.

You walked in silence beside each other. You felt a bit nervous, not really being sure if you were supposed to start a conversation or not but then it dawned upon you, why the fuck was he alone there in the village anyway?

You glanced at him quickly to see if it would give you a clue to this mystery but he looked as he always did, nothing was different. So you decided to drop it and thankfully you didn’t have much more time to overthink about it because your house had now appeared in sight. 

He still had a chance to take you if he wanted to, it was dark, quiet and no neighbours were close except for well...conveniently enough, him. But he didn’t. He kept his distance all the way up to the house and stepped back when you got up on the porch.

‘‘ Thank you ‘‘

‘‘ My pleasure miss ‘‘ he said with the same amused glint in his eyes.

You turned around and walked in, closing the door and locking it. Well inside you leaned on the door allowing yourself to calm down a bit. 

He didn’t do anything

You shrugged and went upstairs, getting ready for bed and falling asleep not long after your head touched the pillow.

-

The next day he was the first thing you thought about in the morning before you jumped to your feet and rushed to put on your clothes and get to work.

You broke into a sprint constantly mumbling fuck to yourself and basically bursting in the bakery. The few customers inside and the cashier you had hired looked at you in shock. 

You stopped for a bit to catch your breath before explaining, still out of breath to the cashier.

‘‘ The-Ball-I-Have-To-Bake ‘‘ you managed to press out between every breath.

The cashier gasped and immediately left the desk.

‘‘ I’ll bring you the ingredients ‘‘

You swallowed and nodded to the customers when you walked past them disappearing into the back room where you did your magic. 

You put down your stuff and put on your apron already in action when the cashier came in, put the ingredients on the table and hurried out again.

You ended up making several pastries and cakes to the queen’s liking and by the end - about six hours of straight baking, you were so exhausted you decided not to go to the ball.

The cashier peeked her head in about an hour before it was to start.

‘‘ I’ll send these up? ‘‘ she walked up to the finished products and you just nodded at her, drying off the sweat that had formed on your forehead. 

After that you spent the rest of the hour leading up to the ball cleaning up all the mess you had created.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

You sighed, it was already closed but you have had to deal with customers knocking anyway wanting treats when you weren’t open. You put down your cleaning supplies and hurried to the door. Through the glass door you saw the outline of your neighbour.

‘‘ Jaemin? ‘‘

He shook his head and tutted at your state when you opened the door.

‘‘ Do I really look that bad? ‘‘ you said and glanced down quickly.

‘‘ For a ball, yes. Otherwise, no you look exceptional ‘‘ he said

You snorted at his flirty comment.

‘‘ I’m not going, too busy ‘‘ 

‘‘ What? No way. I won’t let that happen ‘‘ 

You turned to face him again, having walked up behind the desk to count today’s money. He leaned over the desk and tried to give you his puppy eyes.

‘‘ I can’t go like this Jaemin, sorry ‘‘ you said and shrugged your shoulders.

He scrunched his nose and stopped trying to use his puppy eyes on you now.

‘‘ I have magic ‘‘ he tilted his head when he saw this caught your attention.

‘‘ Really? You’re a jester? ‘‘ you rolled your eyes.

‘‘ What, is it not cool enough for miss or something? ‘‘ he jumped over the counter effortlessly and was now standing very close to you, closer than he’d ever been before.

They way he was towering over you basically looking down on you made you chuckle unexpectedly. 

‘‘ Yeah sure it’s cool enough I guess ‘‘ you answered playfully attempting to push him out the way so you could walk past.

He put his arm out, not letting you.

‘‘ Do you use it a lot on the ladies? ‘‘ you added and held the eye-contact

He snickered and made a very cute expression which made your heart melt.

‘‘ Of course. Every time ‘‘ he said sarcastically ‘‘ Now, will you let me ‘‘ he waved to your messy state.

‘‘ I guess why not ‘‘ you said and closed your eyes.

When it was silent for a few seconds you opened them again and you saw white clouds surrounding you all around, when it had cleared and disappeared completely you could finally see his work.

You were wearing a champagne coloured silk dress that was quite tight at the top with spaghetti straps and flowed out at the bottom, highlighting your curves. Looking at you hands, they as well were polished and clean and you hair was in a sleek ponytail, feeling as if it had been washed.

‘‘ I’m impressed ‘‘ you said at last when you noticed his worried expression, anxiously waiting for your opinion.

He exhaled deeply.

‘‘ Thank god ‘‘

You giggled at his cuteness.

‘‘ Shall we go? ‘‘

‘‘ Certainly ‘‘ he answered and extended his arm for you to take.

The walk this time was also pretty quiet, the castle wasn’t too far away you could already see it from here but you just couldn’t help yourself,

‘‘ Hey Jaemin? ‘‘

‘‘ Yeah ‘‘

‘‘ What were you doing so late at night in the village yesterday? ‘‘ 

Although you didn’t look at him, you could feel him get a bit uncomfortable.

‘‘ Browsing I guess ‘‘ it was your turn to feel uncomfortable now, all the stores closed a lot earlier than your bakery and everyone in town knew that but he hastily added, ‘‘ The villagers told me your bakery closed very late so I thought I’d go by and buy something. Unfortunately it was closed though ‘‘ he laughed and looked down shyly when you looked at him in surprise.

‘‘ Why’s that, horrible sweet-tooth? ‘‘ you said

‘‘ No, just wanted to support my neighbour. That’s all ‘‘

You nodded and felt a bit guilty for being suspicious of him. If your guards hadn’t been down before they sure were now, basically in hell. You felt incredibly comfortable and at ease with Jaemin and you did for a moment think you were starting to fall in love with him. 

This feeling would arise again when you had finally reached the castle and were greeted by the white rabbit.

‘‘ Invitations and names please ‘‘ he said in a stressed voice, his eyes all the time looking back and forth, darting between guests.

The jester gave the rabbit one of his charming smiles and you watched as he interacted with other people, even that was attractive, god what was wrong with you?

He fixed everything for the two of you, showing both of your invitations and names and you leant back letting someone else do the work for the first time in your life. It was nice, this weird feeling of being taken cared of.

He took your hand when the rabbit let you through and he lead you towards the dessert table. You raised your eyebrow at him when he started basically inhaling entire pastries of yours.

‘‘ I have to see how talented you are ‘‘ he defended himself when he saw your judging look. 

You rolled your eyes and waited for him to finish, eyeing the other guests as you did. When he finally was done - after eating half the table you noticed - he dragged you out on the dance floor. 

It was a slow song. You gave him a shy look, not sure if you wanted him to see how much you liked loved him or for onlookers to see that either for that matter. But he insisted, pulling you close to him and starting to rock slowly to the beat of the music. He gave you a big childish grin and you laughed, starting to move as well and letting you be drowned in this feeling. 

It felt like it truly was just you and him in this world, and he would protect you and love you forever. He could do you no harm, he was amazing. 

You probably radiated these feelings through the lovingly eyes you were giving him and he looked at you the same way. Everyone else faded away and it felt like you were in a fairytale, just how magical it all felt...until it didn’t,

The music was abruptly stopped and murmuring filled the hall. You didn’t have the energy to worry about it so you leaned your head again Jaemin’s chest feeling sleepy. In the distance through your dazed eyes you saw the white rabbit approach you, until he wasn’t very blurry anymore, he was clear and right in front of you clearing his throat. 

‘‘ Miss you need to come with me right now ‘‘ the rabbit said in a shaky voice.

‘’ Hm? ‘‘ you said sleepily not yet leaving Jaemin’s arms.

‘‘ What’s going on? ‘‘ Jaemin said in a worriedly.

‘‘ It’s uh, something very terrible has happened to her parents sir ‘‘ the rabbit looked down on the ground under the intense stare of the jester.

‘‘ Let’s go, y/n ‘‘ he whispered to you gently and took your hand.

You had no idea what was going on but followed like a lost puppy. The rabbit lead you to a carriage which you were put in and sent off. It stopped outside your parents house, a mansion closer to Jaemin’s house than it was your own - on the outskirts of town. 

‘‘ Wait here. I’ll see what’s wrong ‘‘ he said and stepped out.

Your head felt heavy, like you’d fall into eternal sleep any minute now - that’s how tired you felt, like you hadn’t slept for decades.

‘‘ y/n dear? ‘‘ the carriage door opened again and two hands extended to take your weight. You walked up to it, staggering and let yourself be lifted down.

Everything was a bit blurry but you could make out the familiar outline of your parents on the ground. They were in front of their front door and they didn’t seem to be moving. Blood was flowing out from their necks and their limbs were twisted in weird, unnatural angles.

Oh

This must’ve been the terrible thing the rabbit had been talking about...

You tried to walk towards your parents but your foot hit something. You looked down and jumped back in surprise. It was another body, no - you looked around, it was several bodies of the guards.

‘‘ What happened to them? ‘‘ you asked Jaemin in a horrified voice.

‘‘ I don’t know ‘‘ he said and bit his lip, lowering his raised right hand and entwining his left one with yours.

‘‘ Look at me y/n ‘‘

You turned to look at him, starting to feel a bit overwhelmed and scared of everything going on. You felt crazy, like you had no idea what was real and what wasn’t.

‘‘ You and I, we’re gonna live together. Far far away from here and we will be happy forever because you love me right? Say it! ‘‘ he roared the last words but you weren’t scared. You just looked at him with loving eyes.

‘‘ I love you ‘‘ you said like a robot, 

completely entranced 

you were his 

forever

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