Have you ever thought of moving abroad? If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
I have thought about moving abroad! It was all I wanted to do when I was younger (and we had no money and couldn't afford to go anywhere overseas). Back then I thought a lot about Canada mostly because it was cold, or New Zealand, because it was cold, lmao.
When I was able to travel, I thought about Melbourne (which isn't really moving abroad, but hey, it is a 4 hour flight away which feels like the same thing sometimes), and also Scotland, which I well and truly fell in love with. We even priced up real estate in Scotland and talked about making it feasible.
But...unfortunately, having an extremely rare genetic and incurable cancer condition means you almost always have to be very close to a hospital with specialists who actually understand your condition and manage it, and Scotland actually isn't known for being one of the best hubs in the world for the SDHD gene fault. On top of that, the NHS wouldn't be free for me as healthcare, and the yearly MRIs, thrice yearly PET scans and blood tests alone to monitor things are a lot of money if you're not able to access socialised healthcare.
There's only a few places in the world that would actually be kind of skilled enough and have the right kind of specialists for my disease, and that ruled out New Zealand, Scotland (especially the time spent waiting to access the NHS in the first place), Canada, and anywhere else I wanted to live. It's left us with other locations in Australia, but again, the only other place I really want to move is Tasmania, and anyone who wants treatment for this condition in Tasmania has to fly to Melbourne and back again just for consultation appointments.
To give you an idea of how hard it is to find specialists.
I am...miraculously lucky here in Perth. I almost thought we'd have to leave the state for a few months to find a specialist for my condition, and it turned out we lucked into two, and I have one of the best in Australia. Depending on the number of tumours I grow and what they're doing, I need access to the best neurosurgeons, vascular surgeons, endocrinologists, ENT surgeons, and medical and radiation oncologists who know what PRRT is, or gamma ray, or debulking. People with this condition die in places with specialists who don't understand. These tumours can cause a hypertensive crisis if you so much as touch them - biopsies have literally killed us, and many don't understand not to do them because when most doctors see a tumour they want to stick a needle in it.
I don't recommend having disabilities of certain kinds - particularly the kinds that need unique management (one of my tumours occurs in only 1/20,000,000 people to give you an idea of how rare it is) - if you have dreams of moving abroad. It was a pretty sad realisation honestly, because I'd be like 'but what if- oh, the tumours.'
These ticking time bombs basically mean I can never move far away from a hospital of any kind, and it's incurable, so you know, that's that pretty much done. No more indulging thoughts of moving abroad. But I'd like to visit Scotland again one day, when it's safe enough for immunocompromised people to travel freely. Which will probably not be in my lifetime. :/
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Here is your unsolicited duck pic 😊
awwww it's so cute. i'm sending you back some unsolicited vashies cause my brain is dead and my pussy is on fire
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northern hemisphere babes we made it to the longest night of the year. we made it. for the next 6 months, every day will give us a little more daylight than the last. let's go. take my hand. climb out of the darkness with me
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it really is crazyyyyy how much January they managed to fit into this January
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chronic fatigue from mental illness and neurodivergency isn't something you can just will your way out of. your nervous system is part of your body. your brain is an organ. the fatigue is real. you're not lazy. so be kinder to yourself. be gentler with your bodymind.
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
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no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
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A friend once told me that when they are struggling with getting laundry done, she pretends it is her sworn duty to smuggle the young prince out of the castle to safety, disguised in a laundry hamper.
Now, when I am struggling with hygiene, I pretend I am part of a village with an annual festival, and I get one day a year to spend luxuriously at a bathhouse in preparation.
What my friend imparted on me was the skill of turning mundane tasks into fantastical adventures to make them more compelling and bearable.
So next time you need to go on a mental health walk, maybe consider doing reconnaissance for a secret underground organisation.
Next time cooking is too much of a chore, consider you ability to turn space station rations into a feast to the delight of your crewmates.
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