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lostdreamr-blog1 · 18 days

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Pinky Promise 3

Part 1

Part 2

Word count: 2K

Pairings: Jake Seresin X Reader

A/N: Round 3 of Pink Promise! I have a few more I want to put out, but if you have something you want to see in them let me know! It's been a lot of fun writing these. Thanks for reading!!

The two of you were sitting around Jake’s house eating takeout Chinese food. Some old movie was playing on the TV. For some reason Jake preferred the classics but you found them to be incredibly boring. It was often you found yourself in this same position, sprawled out on his couch, sitting in a comfortable silence as you watched another movie you couldn’t retell the plot of.

Which is why in that moment you chose to say, “I got into medical school.”

It was nearly comical watching him choke on the spoonful of rice. He sat up and looked over to you, still coughing up those last pieces. “I’m sorry. What did you just say?” The look he gave you was disbelief mixed with something else. Something you hadn’t seen before.

“I don’t think I stuttered.” You took a bite of an egg roll and waited for his mind to catch up.

“Medical school? For doctors?” You couldn’t help but smirk at his choice of questions. “Yes, like for doctors. I thought pilots were supposed to be smart?”

He shook his head and laughed, “When the hell did you have time for that?”

You finished off the egg roll and shrugged your shoulders, “What do you think I do all day while you’re at work?”

This path you took was one you had been on for a while Everyone saw you as the girl who parties, the one who doesn’t care about the outcome of her decisions. But it couldn’t be farther from the truth. And instead of showing people how wrong they were about you, you let them form their very low opinions. Pleasing people was never one of your strong points and a few judgmental comments weren’t going to tear you down.

Jake was clearly still processing things but paused the movie to give you his full attention. What he said next though, nearly made you cry right then and there.

“I am so proud of you, sweetheart. Holy crap you are going to be a doctor.” He got up and pulled you into a tight hug. It was then the look on his face made more sense. It was a look of pride, and one you hadn’t gotten before.

“Tell me all about it. Where are you going? When do you start?” His enthusiasm for this made you feel something that part of you was afraid to feel. This man was slowly becoming your best friend, which is why you pushed down all other feelings. No need to ruin a good thing.

“Well, I decided I wanted to stay close to home and was lucky enough to get into the University of California San Diego. My GPA was a little short of what they wanted, but I killed the interview. Something about your dad dying while fighting for his country tends to pull on heartstrings.”

Jake shook his head, “You did not pull that card.”

You waved a hand at him, “Please. I would be dumb not to. I also threw in about staying close to the base in case anything happened to Bradley. And that I might follow in the family footsteps one day.”

Jake’s head tilted at the last part. “You are not enlisting. I draw the line at that.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Down tiger. All I meant was that I would want to work at a hospital close to base. The one all of you get sent to when something goes wrong.”

Relief was evident as he exhaled. “I don’t think the military could handle you anyway.”

It was true. You were never one to follow orders well. Plus having a third Bradshaw in the Navy would be too much for anyone.

You picked the remote back up and resumed the movie. While Jake thought this was a big deal, you were ready to get back to the movie night. You still had a few months until school started anyway.

The movie had been playing for a few minutes, but you could feel eyes on you every now and then. “Is something the matter?”

You glanced over to the man next to you and watched him shake his head. “Nothing. You just keep surprising me, that’s all.”

“Well, either turn your attention back to this movie or I’m putting something better on. Maybe something made in this decade.” A chuckle graced your ears and a quick, “Yes ma’am.”

It wasn’t until the credits were running that he said, “You better not forget about me when you become a big shot doctor.”

“I don’t think I could forget about you even if I tried.” And it was the truth. That one drunken call has led you to one of the best things in life.

“Pinky promise you won’t.” He had his signature smirk on full display as he held out his pinky for you to shake on. You happily gave him yours, thrilled that the Top Gun pilot has accepted this form of promises.

When he pulled away, he asked, “What made you want to become a doctor?” It was a simple question with a very loaded answer.

“When my mom was sick, it was just me and her most of the time. Bradley was off at the academy, something she wouldn’t tell him but absolutely hated. And I found myself wanting to give her some sort of joy to offset my brother’s choices. I made her a promise that I was going to graduate and get a degree in something. Something that would make a difference. It took a while to figure out what that was, but the look of pride on her face when I said medical school, I only wish I had a photo of that single moment.

“When there were days I questioned if I could do it or if I even still wanted to, I think back to that conversation and all doubts went out the window. There are very few things in life I want more than graduating from med school which is why I worked so hard to even get it.” Jake wiped a tear that I didn’t know had fallen.

“She would’ve been happy that you accomplished a goal while still holding onto yourself. That you had fun while doing it. Not too many people can find that balance which tells me you are going to do amazing. But if you ever need some sort of motivation or a simple distraction from school, you can call me anytime sweetheart.”

And just like that, you knew Jake Seresin was going to be in your life for as long as you could keep him.

After the incident a little while back, your brother made an effort to be more present in your everyday life. Which meant he was currently over at your apartment criticizing how you were making dinner.

“At any point you can either cook yourself or shut up.” Bradley held up his hands in surrender.

“All I’m saying is that you are going to burn the bottom of it if you don’t stir it more often.” You turned around from the food and pointed the utensil in your hand at him. Which just so happened to be a knife.

“Listen here bird boy. My house, my rules which means you can sit your judgmental ass down before I do something you can’t bounce back from. Last I checked you needed all ten fingers to fly.”

Again, he held up his hands and thankfully kept his mouth shut while you finished up. It wasn’t too much longer before you were dishing out food for the two of you and sitting down to eat it like a normal family. The two of you sat in silence while you ate, neither of you knowing what to say.

It was like this most nights. After your mom died Bradley threw himself into his work, leaving you to fend for yourself. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but the two of you grew apart as the years went on, leaving you to call your brother only when you needed help. This is what formed his new picture of you. He only saw you when you were at your worst.

But he was trying and the least you could do was meet him halfway.

“You know how you see me as careless and not at all organized with life?” You watched as your brother sighed and shook his head.

“We have gone over this. That is not how I see you. We just have different goals in life and that’s fine.” You waved him off.

“Right. Well, I am pleased to tell you that I’m not as big as a fuck up as you might think. I start med school in a few months.” Bradley dropped his spoon, sending food splattering on the counter.

You watched his facial expressions, looking or hoping for the one you got the other day from Jake. It wasn’t that you needed the validation from your brother, but it would be nice to see it for once.

“Med school? The school where you go to become a doctor?” You snorted at the similar question Jake had asked.

“What is with pilots and their lack of common sense. Yes, Bradley. The school for doctors.” You grabbed a napkin to wipe up the drops of food while he tried to form words.

“How?” You froze at that single word. It shouldn’t surprise you, the lack of faith this man had in you. But it still stung.

“The same way anyone gets in. Ace a test, get decent grades, and interview well. Not too hard when you think about it.” Which wasn’t exactly true. You had a lot of all-nighters, tears shed at the near impossible dream, and many bumps along the way. But you had to do it.

“Mom and dad would be proud of you.” Your eyes met his and you saw something different in them. It wasn’t the pride you were looking for but sadder. Like the weight of those words cut through him.

“I know. I was always trying to follow in your footsteps, even if I did take a longer path. But you know dad would’ve been ecstatic to see you wear the patch he tried so hard for. And mom, well mom would’ve eventually gotten over her fears of you being a pilot and saw how you were born for this. You know that, right?”

He cleared his throat and focused back on his food. “Anyone else know? It’s a pretty big deal.”

You picked up on the change of topic and said, “Your arch nemesis knows. Besides that, the friend list is pretty scarce these days.”

He slowly nodded his head, “You seem to spend a lot of time with him.”

“He’s a good friend. No need to look too far into it. I know the two of you have your issues, but he’s never given me a reason to question his intentions.”

Bradley hummed in response, but he didn’t fully believe you when it comes to only being friends. He’s seen the way Jake is at work, but with you he was completely different. You might not see it or are trying to ignore it, but he knew better.

“Are you and him still at each other’s throats?” Bradley rolled his eyes, “It’s not my fault he thinks he’s better than everyone else. He’s insufferable.”

You grabbed the finished plates and took them to the sink. “You know what would get under his skin? If you laughed at everything he said. I think that would rile him up good.”

Bradley squinted his eyes at you, “I thought the two of you were friends? Why would you tell me that?”

You shrugged your shoulders, “He is always listening to me complain about you. This way he can do it for once so it’s more even.”

Bradley threw his napkin at you and shook his head, “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

You threw him one of Jake’s signature smirks, “But I’m your jerk.”

Tag List: @rosiahills22 @sunlitsunflowers @dempy @mamaskillerqueen @luckyladycreator2 @atarmychick007 @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @topguncultleader @alilstressyandlotdepressy @avengers-fixation @chaoticcassidy @alldaysdreamers

#hangman x reader #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman x reader #topgun maverick #jake seresin x you #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #hangman top gun #chelsea writes

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factual-fantasy · 8 months

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I haaaasss 27 asks :}

Yes. Yes it does.

Thank you! :DD And yeah canon Gregory is just not my vibe man XD

(Traffic cone in question)

Thank you so much! :DD And yeah I try my best to get up and do something productive/different when I'm feeling down like that. My thought process is "well sitting here and sulking isn't making me feel any better so I should go and do something else" Which just so happened to be breaking out the old sewing kit and making a traffic cone?? XD Well to be fair I've made like 10 of those before but still an odd choice on my part-

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked my cars artwork! :DD

And yeah I would draw cars stuff more often but they're just so hard to draw :(

Idk why they decided to jump into a DLC before fixing the base game, but man I really wish they wouldn't have. 😔

I'll do my best! :D

@tallchest13-blog

Yes :} or at least I've been trying to-

Thank you so much! And I did use a pattern to make him. Credit for the patten goes to Tammy Hallam, heres her video on how to make your own too! :}

@montygatorshusband

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD

As for Glamrock Bonnie,, ehh, its a bit odd to me. Not a huge fan of the color pallet but its not the worst I've seen. I'd give it a 5.5 outa 10

ALSO! I believe Octonauts is streaming on Netflix, but I've also had some luck finding full episodes on YouTube :0

Thank you! And oh yeah, I feel you on the fandom part. XD That's why I'm still kind'a on the fence and haven't dove head first into my usual angsty stuff. I'm kind'a testing the waters with every post I make to see if I'll collide with the uh, other side of the fandom :x

Thank you! :DDD

Also Google is a search engine. :0 If you search for Octonauts fanart, its gonna do its job and search for fanart and likely find some of the stuff I made. Notice though that all of my artwork shown on Google links directly back to my blog. Its because Google isn't stealing it, its parting the branches of a bush and pointing "Look! Over there is some Octonauts fanart like you requested!" XD

@pinkbomb08

There isn't really anything Gregory can do for Bonnie..

Its hard to explain,, but I'll try. Bonnie is missing his leg from the middle of his shin down. So he cant stand up right like Foxy because- well duh, he's missing a whole foot.

So order to fix Bonnies leg so he can stand/walk like Foxy does, he would need an entire replacement foot with a working joint. This would also mean that the wires in Bonnies legs would have to be replaced and hooked up so that he can control said new foot.

Currently there are no spare parts around that fit Bonnies model.. and even if they did, Gregory wouldn't know how to properly re-wire an animatronic foot. He's smart but not THAT smart <XDD

The only thing Gregory could do is make Bonnie a weird peg leg that makes his current leg longer. Currently Bonnies half leg is shorter than his good leg. But in all honesty Bonnie doesn't really want that.

Having Gregory ducttape this weird goofy peg leg to him would be more embarrassing then what he already has. He'd probably want to salvage what ever dignity he has left and say "ah give it a rest. There's no point. My legs good enough for what its for." <:/

@taizarack

If I remember correctly... Sometime ago my tablet pen broke. And it took like 2-3 weeks for a new one to arrive. In the mean time I tried to make an art doll of sorts. That doll was Bibi!

I ended up making a lot of goofy posts with Bibi and I as I waited for my pen to arrive. Once it finally did and I went back to drawing comics, I ended making Bibi a reoccurring character. And he's been around ever since!

Now Jangles is a Halloween prop that I bought because I thought it was funny. I was practicing making quilts one time and I made a small blue one that just so happened to be the right size for him. So I put it on and then I thiiink I got the idea to add Jangles to my blog as a joke.? I gave Bibi a "new friend" to celebrate hitting 10,000 followers. The new friend was a cropped png of jangles XD

Eventually down the line I wanted to give Bibi an proper friend. So for Bibi's birthday I drew a comic where Jangles came to life and here we are XD

@pinkbomb08

Currently I am getting none of those things :x I have a cold so sleep and food is hard :( Thank you though! :D

@notsoliyah

:D AW!! Thank you! I'm so glad to hear how I've inspired you! :}}

@ur0neand0nly

XD Thank you so much! And don't worry, I'm pretty confident I'll draw him again someday

XD Thank you. To be honest I'm kind'a going back and fourth on this fandom. I don't really wanna be apart of the fandom, but the characters are the only thing I'm interested in drawing atm soo-

@ardent-38

Ooo these are interesting! Although absorbing power ups isn't about digesting them. Its something about being human specifically that allows them to absorb the powerups.. 👀👀👀

@maddiethehatter2192

My advice would be to use references religiously. That's what I did!

Also thank you! :DD

Barnaby for sure.

Well, my interpretation of him really-

@taizarack (Post in question)

@funky-frankie

No there's no SpongeBob comic, I just felt like drawing Mr. Krabs XD

Also THANK YOU!! :DD That means so much!! :}}}

@elegysonnet

<XD thank you. So far I have some pretty basic ones I imagine. Wally's house is alive and evil, Julie is actually a scary monster but has drastically altered her appearance to look less scary.. Sally is very celestial in nature because she's a real star, Eddie used to be a real human and bleeds and has a heart beat and what not.. uuuuuuh what elseeee,,, I liked to imagine that Sally and Julie came to the neighborhood when they were really young and Poppy kind'a adopted them?? Although I don't know how wide spread that idea is XD

Thank you! And yeah I'm not very fond of that portrayal either <XD As for your questions..

1: I'm sure there would be somethings that would push his anxiety to the surface. I'm not sure what they'd be but still- I imagine if Luigi was around to see it he would try to get Mario out of what ever situation he's in. If he's in a crowd he'd try to help him slip away unnoticed.

2: I'm not familiar with the giga bell, but if I did add it I'd imagine those would be the side effects yeah <XD Really sore and tired and cant really move for like 3 days :x

Remodeled or not, I wont be adding any of those animatronics to the Pizzaplex. I already wrote the entire past of this timeline, and those bots all already have a story in my AU. And with their given stories it wouldn't make sense for them to be added to the Pizzaplex.

Of course I cant spoil what those stories are, just know that I have my reasons-

Oh yeah I forgot to add the colored eye lids to Wally and Barnaby in that trampoline drawing <XD

And yeah! I wanted Wally to be much more expressive so I gave him eyebrows-

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

Aw, thank you so much!! Its so cool to hear that you've shared my name with your friends!! :DD

#my response #fnaf security breach dlc spoilers #fnaf security breach dlc #fnaf security breach #ocotnauts #bibi and jangles

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feyspeaker · 2 months

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Hi! I made an account just so I could follow your work. Your art is brilliant and honestly and inspiration to where I want to be. I’m an older artist who has all the anxiety when it comes to improving my process. I’m trying to get into digital portraits and I have so many ideas in my head, but it’s frustrating because I’m not where I want to be to make this happen. What are some tricks that help you/software do you use? Of course, you don’t have to share anything that makes you uncomfortable. I currently have procreate and an iPad, but I feel a little lost. Wondering if I need a different writing tablet and photoshop. Not sure. I just eventually want to find that 3D, but also artistic look you are able to achieve.

hey there! thank you so much!!

ultimately, I will sound like a broken record but I always recommend you sign up for local figure drawing or painting classes. have people pose for you at home and sketch with charcoal and paper. go to the zoo and sit down in front on an exhibit for an hour and try to draw the animals in front of you as fast as you can and fill a couple of pages, move on to a new exhibit and do it again!

nothing is more powerful of a tool to learn than whatever writing utensil you have in your purse and the back of a napkin when you see something you'd like to capture. I've spent quite frankly my entire rememberable life doing this. I used to spend every single day in middle school/high school/my brief failed stint in community college with a pack of cheap sharpies and a beat up binder full of old worksheets and homework to draw on the backs of.

drawing/painting from life will teach you better than anything.

I use a very outdated version of Photoshop, and only got a "nice" tablet in the past 7 months.

Also, a huge tip to you and anyone else reading this: do NOT get too focused on a "style" that you want. Obsessing over that just ruined me for years and years. I wanted so, so, so badly to be the next Matsuri Hino when I was a kid. I copied her work religiously and it NEVER looked right. Frustrated me to no end. And you know why my stuff never looked like hers? Because I'm not her! You can't force your art to come out any way that isn't natural, and the sooner you can accept the art your hand wants to create, the happier you'll be and the easier art will get for you.

The past couple of years before I started diving into this more realism based work, I was just shoving myself through trying to make what art I envied of others. Very stylized/textured watercolor comic book style stuff. And I just was NOT getting any better at it. I have always been more inclined toward realism work, but I've hated it and yearned for stylized work. Yoshitaka Amano? God, I just drooled over that artstyle and beat myself up for never being able to capture it in studies or otherwise.

I finally essentially restructured my entire career around making the art that makes me happy instead of what I "wanted" it to look like. I was extremely depressed, my life was falling apart, and I still needed to make art to survive but I couldn't "art" if I was depressed and hated doing it, so I just had to step back and stop worrying so much about what I thought I wanted to make, and started making what felt most natural.

there's no easy way, and art can be a soul destroying path at times, truly. your software and hardware should come very last place compared to practicing from life (it doesn't matter if you want to paint cartoony stuff of realistic stuff, always start from life). naturally you will find what makes your heart sing the most.

I get a lot of messages from people telling me similar stuff "oh your art is EXACTLY what I want to do!" but I promise you that kind of thought process is chasing a dragon that is likely to harm or drag your creative process down. art style is such a deeply personal thing, so of COURSE it's important to find inspiration, but the second looking at someone else's artwork stops inspiring you and starts frustrating you, put it away.

There are some artists who I love, that I do not check up on often because their artwork ignites, like, serious bitter jealousy in me. It's the truth. I get so mad at myself for not being more like them, and it's such a poison. I think more artists should be transparent about this feeling because I KNOW the art community has a lot of jealousy and ugliness in it.

A fact of being an artist is that you will never be completely happy with a piece you make. You are always going to see the flaws, and that doesn't change whether you'd been drawing for 2 months or 20 years. Occasionally, you will get one piece that you are like "how did I make that???" and then get frustrated that you can't recreate it lol! It's a tough beast.

It's just really important to step back and work on yourself and where you are at, because at the end of the day, the way your soul wants to express artwork might be WILDLY different from what your brain wants, and it can be really detrimental to let those two go to war.

I hope this helps. I'm very passionate about this, and when I started out I ALWAYS ignored the artists who gave the same exact tips as above. I thought they were so annoying and unhelpful, but now I /get it/.

#ask

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rbtlvr · 8 months

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@intotheelliwoods made me feel things so i am returning the favor (goes with this comic, make sure you read that first)

read on ao3

warnings: super brief unreality, mention of family death

Sprout can’t sleep.

Again.

To be fair, that’s not exactly anything new – especially with the whole… apocalypse thing he hates thinking about. Having to be on guard all the time, ready for anything, just in case, kind of made it difficult to get a good night’s rest.

And even though he’s safe now (is he? Is he really? It doesn’t feel real. Maybe he is asleep and this is – a dream, a nightmare, he doesn’t know), old habits die hard. So. Can’t sleep.

He’s not sure why he does it, really. Maybe to see if there’s been any changes, considering he’s now technically in an entirely new timeline (or bifurcated time branch, as Donnie would say. Would’ve said). Maybe to see if he can even still access it. Maybe to find somewhere he can be alone, not have to see the faces of everyone he’s lost, not have to see his own face after what was, at that point, the worst day of his life. Whatever the reason, he sits up in bed, abandoning his failed attempts to at least get some rest. He crosses his legs. Closes his eyes.

Breathes in.

Then out.

He feels the shift, opens his eyes. Looks around, and –

The first thing he notices is that the white wall that represented the big guy’s place in the mindscape is gone.

The second thing he notices is that it’s been replaced with red.

His heart, only just having calmed down from the day he’s had, jolts into a panicked rhythm again in an instant. A thousand thoughts rush through his mind at once, too quickly for him to pin them down – why is that here why is the white gone does this mean little me is here too it has to it has to be him he’s going through what i did i can’t do this i can’t watch that i can’t go through it again i have to he must be so scared i have to help him –

Before he can process what he’s doing, his fist – the real one – is crashing into the wall, a crack forming beneath the impact. It hurts, but it’s – it’s progress, he realizes. If it’ll get him through to the mini-him, keep the kid safe from the nightmares that plagued Sprout before he made it here – he’ll keep on hitting this wall til his knuckles are bruised and bleeding if that’s what it takes.

And then, in the span of about two seconds, the crack shrinks and disappears. No fanfare, nothing left behind, not even a scratch on the wall. It’s as if Sprout never made a mark to begin with.

And.

That’s –

Something rises in his throat, something that’s been there waiting to claw its way out ever since his little brother – his last family member – ever since Mikey shattered into pieces. It’s raw and agonizing and full of a thousand different emotions he’s been forcing himself to compartmentalize and push down all day. He’s had to, so he can help the younger versions of his family (it hurts so much seeing them again, they’re right here but he’ll never get them back and all he can see when he looks at them is a reminder of what he’s lost), the younger version of him (that’s him that’s him he’s so small so scared sprout has to protect him has to save him but what if he gets it wrong? what if he can’t be the person he himself needed all those years ago? what if he can’t be –), so he can be there for them like the big guy was for him (he’s gone he’s really gone and yes he’s been gone but now the white is gone too, he can’t come back anyway sprout knows that he knows but even if he could there’s nowhere for him to come back to anymore).

He can’t hold it back any longer. The feeling of utter helplessness is just the match that lit the fuse, and now the bomb is going off whether he likes it or not.

Sprout screams.

The sound tears itself from his mouth and he packs into it all the hurtragefearguiltlossgrief that it can hold, rearing back and slamming his fist into the wall again. Like something different will happen this time. Like something different will ever happen. He has to save the kid – he has to – but he can’t, he can’t save anyone – nothing he does is (has been, will be) enough and he screams again at the unfairness of it all.

Once more, the crack vanishes without a trace, and Sprout –

Sprout has never felt more helpless, more alone than he does right now.

He can’t do anything. The mini-him is right there on the other side of this wall, terrified, traumatized, and Sprout wants nothing more than to hug him tight and promise it’ll be okay because he knows it will – never mind that it wasn’t okay for Sprout. That’s why he’s here – to make sure things go differently this time.

(… Can he even do that much?)

The fight drains out of him, and he’s left with an ocean of heartache and helplessness. There’s no life preserver here, no one who needs to lean on him, no one he needs to keep it together for, nothing to justify pushing everything down anymore. On the other hand – there’s no one to keep up appearances for, no one who will judge him for breaking down or ask questions he can’t bring himself to answer.

The decision is made for him in the end, the tears overflowing and pouring down his face despite his attempts to hold them back, and Sprout finally stops trying because what is the point?

And there, utterly alone, small and scared just like that child he desperately wants to protect, Sprout allows himself to grieve.

#rottmnt #2al #2 arms left #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #my fic #anyway enjoy this ell i speedran it after you showed me those panels and have been waiting to post it since then <3 #feeling sososososossosoososossoooo many things abt sprout im normal im normal i promise <- lying #i just think he deserves to be angry. as a treat #also hopefully i did his internal monologue justice af;jlkdjalkf anyway o7

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comicaurora · 2 years

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This question has almost certainly been asked before, and apologies if it has, but I've been thinking about creativity and creative endeavors and such and I was very curious. This comic has clearly been in development for a long time, so my question is, what was the creative process of developing this world and story like for you? Where did you start, stuff like that?

Like many projects, it started because I was bored and unhappy and I wanted a fun place to put my brain. I was eleven-ish, socially isolated, ADHD-undiagnosed, internet-free and entertainment-deprived. When I read Diana Wynne Jones's Tough Guide To Fantasyland for the first time I had a sudden burst of clarity and realized if I couldn't have entertainment I liked, I could make it. (A lot of my issues were permanently resolved as soon as I got an internet connection, for the record. It's like an IV drip for an ADHD brain.)

I started building a fantasy world, initially just by throwing in everything I liked and every idea I thought was fun. It was like I'd just discovered the concept of drinking water for the first time - there was no strategy and no higher plan at the beginning, I just really needed it. At the time I thought my end goal was to create a comic I could read and enjoy, but I realized gradually that it's impossible for an artist to ever be their own audience - instead the enjoyment I was getting from the process was the actual act of creation itself. I liked having ideas and having somewhere to put those ideas. I liked fitting ideas together and finding bigger, more coherent patterns in the mess. I shifted away from "piling on every single thing I liked" and towards a more coherent strategy - building a world that actually held together, a magic system worth exploring, and a gradually-expanding cast of characters that were fun to play with.

At this point I'd say this wasn't too far off from how a kid would play with dolls. You have characters and dynamics and maybe even an overarching plot, but ultimately it's freeform; you're not aiming to construct a coherent narrative, you're having fun. But the idea that someday this world would be something I actually made was very useful for me, because it became something of an unreachable star I could orient towards.

As a side effect of Who I Am As A Person, I have a lot of trouble learning skills if I don't have a reason to want to know how to do them. The process would be incredibly slow and incredibly tedious until I was given something I could tangibly connect the skill to, at which point I would suddenly pick it up startlingly fast. For instance, I was initially slow to pick up how to read - I had the alphabet down, but putting the characters together into words was hard and boring. I could pick out the names of storefronts, but who cares what a store is called? And then my dad started reading me Harry Potter as a bedtime story and I got so invested I decided he was getting through it too slowly, and somewhere in that fugue state I apparently just learned how to read so I could get to the good stuff faster.

So before I had the beginnings of this world, I had been taught how to sketch and how to write, but in my head those skills were tedious to learn and pointless to master. I didn't want to sit down and draw owl wings from every angle, and I had no stories I wanted to write, so the good-natured attempts from my parents to teach me those skills were just deepening the tar pit of my constant, crushing (undiagnosed ADHD) boredom. But now I had a concept I wanted to create - and more than that, I wanted to do it justice. And that meant I had a lot of stuff I was suddenly very invested in learning how to do.

Art was the big one. I was also obviously bad at writing, but that was harder for me to notice. I knew when I tried to draw things they didn't turn out the way I saw them in my mind, and that frustrated me. This is when my habit of doodling in class went from a minor distraction to a full-on menace, and also when I started contemplating the logistics of actual comic creation and distribution. I knew from my mom that the comic industry was a huge pain in the butt and not a good way to get your story told the way you wanted it, and I also knew many comics were having newfound distribution success as webcomics, which at the time was a fairly new form of the medium. So that meant I had to learn how webcomics worked, and I had to either get really good at physical art or I had to start looking into the also-new field of digital art.

It kinda continued on like this. I got better at sketching, won a gift card in an art competition and used it to buy my first digital drawing tablet, honed my skills and continued to work on the lore and story of the world, which at this point was threatening to become too massive and unwieldy to do anything with. Some of my early digital art went into my college application art portfolio, so somewhere on some eight-year-old uchicago computer there's a very dramatic drawing of Falst and Kendal fighting in the rain. I was juggling a lot of different things at this point - the channel was just starting to become A Thing, so that was taking up some attention, and I was developing an interest in voiceover and prepping for college, so the story sort of ended up on the backburner for a bit. I think this was good, because a lot of projects like this really need time on the backburner so your subconscious can look them over, clean them up and drop in some editing notes for the next time you pick it up.

When I got back into it in the first year of college I'd started experimentally drawing comic shorts, character intros and chapter covers. I had the cast and overarching plot pretty solid at this point, so with the basic framework of the story ready to go, I just needed to make sure the art was up to snuff. And it wasn't. So I took a few more years, honing my skills by drawing lots of video frames and more test comics and getting acclimated with Clip Studio Paint's tools, and after I graduated when I was in the post-college haze of Suddenly Absolutely No External Stressors And Schedules, I said "fuck it" and bought the domain name.

This story, in a very real way, grew up with me. It provided structure and stability that my mind needed, and in return I could refine and rebuild it better and better over time. I didn't want this to be A Good First Try, I wanted to be good enough to make it good. I was a tool to make the story better, and the story was a tool to make me better.

I have no idea if this is applicable to literally anyone else, but that's basically been my process. All things considered, I'm quite happy with where we've ended up.

#asks #behind the curtain

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carry-on-my-wayward-gays · 1 year

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Just After Sundown: a Bird Of Prey spinoff

Hello :) just one of many spinoffs inspired by @roxie-roo 's Double Life au, Bird of Prey! Hope you like this one bestie :D

It had been a long day. Bordering on near endless.

To say Tango was exhausted would be the understatement of the year. As he stretched at the foot of his bed he felt like he could sleep for a hundred years once his head hit his pillows.

He lifted the hat Shelby had gifted him off his head and placed it gingerly on the little bedside table placed next to his bed. The hat comically engulfed the table, and Tango tiredly chuckled at it.

The ladder creaks with the weight of someone climbing up. Tango doesn't need to turn around to know who it is.

"You getting settled alright?" Jimmy asks once up through the floor.

Tango hums, "Yup. The place is cozy, thank you for letting me stay."

"I built it just for you, Tangs. Of course you get to stay here." Jimmy sits at the end of the little bed and shucks his dusty boots off.

Tango sits next to Jimmy, resting his cheek on Jimmy's shoulder blade. There's... a distinct lack of two extra limbs under the leather of his vest and cotton of his shirt.

Tango's a little confused at the discovery. Sure, when he hadn't seen them at first he assumed Jimmy was hiding them under his clothing. Bound together and held flat down. That thought made Tango's skin crawl.

But now that he could feel there was nothing else there? It confused him. Almost worried him.

"Sorry, sunshine, could you sit up for a second?" Jimmy spoke gently.

Tango grunts but sits up, watching as Jimmy shrugs off his leather vest.

"What happened to your wings?" Tango asks. He notes how Jimmy freezes up and he panics that maybe he said something he shouldn't have.

"Oh crap, I'm sorry if that's sensitive." He rushes to fill in. "It's just- ya know you don't just go around losing limbs every day." The laugh carrying his words was nervous and forced. Jimmy's demeanor doesn't change.

Tango swallows thickly.

When Jimmy does move again he's silent, and unbuttoning his cotton shirt.

"When Double Life ended," Jimmy starts lowly. "I wound up in the void. I uh.. met a few friends there."

Tango nods. But... friends? In the void? You don't find other people in the void. If you did then... then Tango could've found Jimmy. But he didn't because you're alone in the void. Right?

Jimmy takes in a breath. His shirt hangs loosely at his shoulders.

"I thought I'd be free, finally. And well... I mean I technically am but- Heh, you know most things come with a price."

White fabric falls. It takes Tango's tired brain a moment to process what exactly he's seeing but when everything clicks, oh boy does it ring loud and clear.

Two scars run parallel down Jimmy's back. They start just above his shoulder blades and reach to the middle of his ribcage. Something rightly disgusted churns in Tango's gut.

"I think it's punishment. It has to be, right?" Jimmy turns to look at Tango over his shoulder. Tango doesn't know what to do, or say.

"When you break such a rigidly set status quo, destroy your fate like that? There's going to be harsh consequences." Jimmy's back muscles flex like the wings were still there and he was fluffing them up.

"I'm sorry." Tango whispers. He reaches up and presses a gentle hand to one scar. Jimmy shivers, goosebumps appearing over his skin.

"S' not your fault, honey." Jimmy assures. And sure, it isn't. Tango knows it isn't his fault, or his doing, but still.

"You still shouldn't have lost your wings."

Jimmy laughs wetly. "I'm not a canary anymore though, am I? What non-canary needs wings."

Tango loops his arms around Jimmy's torso, resting his face between the scars. "Doesn't matter. You lost a part of you."

It gets quiet after that. Tango would say he almost fell asleep like that, but his mind was too full. He was buzzing with questions, and it felt like a dick move to fall asleep when your soulmate just shared something so world shattering with you.

"...Did it hurt?"

Jimmy barks a bitter laugh.

Did it hurt? Like Hell it did. He still remembers leaving the void, beginning the journey to Empires, when something grabs him.

He's terrified. So so scared and alone at the halfway point between servers. He's held as something digs into the flesh on his back, searing pain shoots through his whole body as his wings are stripped from him.

He remembers waking up crying, in Tumble Town. His back still aching like everything was still happening. It hurt for days afterwards, no matter how many potions he drank or gapples he chugged.

"So much.." Jimmy settles on. He can feel Tango making a face on his skin.

"I'll kill whoever did this to you. Say the word and I swear I'll do it." Tango hugs his soulmate tighter. Something protective boils in his chest, ready to spill over.

Jimmy just placed a calloused hand over Tango's. "I know you will. I know you will."

Tango growls under his breath, being cut off by a yawn.

"I'm so tired." Tango mumbles. "Server hopping takes a lot out of you."

When Jimmy giggles it's real. It's not ironic or bitter. It's fond and benevolent.

"I can imagine. Let's get to bed then. Cuddles?" Jimmy wiggles free of Tango and stands up to completely discard his shirt.

"Of course, you owe me so many cuddles, dude."

#i should REALLY make a writing tag #uh one sec #shadow's scribing again #yeah that works #Bird of Prey au #double life fanfic #team rancher #tangotek #solidaritygaming #empires x hermitcraft #hermitcraft x empires #double life smp #gore mention #just in case it's not graphic #also I hope this was ok to write Rox it was just a lil idea I liked #lmk if otherwise !!

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chknbzkt · 11 months

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Oh gosh I just read your comic where Sun falls(also unrelated but I love the way you draw them all), poor Moon(and probably Monty when he finds out) seeing that, will Sun be okay? Or is he...Well...Dead?

Oooo gentle yoink right in the heartstrings hereee we goooo

It was a Really high fall, and poor Sun landed right on his head where all his memory bits are

It’s bad. Those kids weren’t exaggerating, they’re screaming in horror at the mechanical equivalent to watching someone crack their head open like an egg after falling from the third story

And to say the damage was mostly irreparable would be underselling things a wee bit

It’s a Ship of Theseus situation, his engineers and idk, robot neurologists?? do what they can, but the majority of Sun’s memories and personality were destroyed alongside his old head. When they’re done he looks brand spanking new, but at what cost?

Moon and Monty are heartbroken. Monty has put a ton of dedication into his relationship with both of them, but it hits Moon harder because they’ve been there from the very start. When the first thing Sun asked upon seeing Moon for the first time in 2 months was “Heeello! My name is Sundrop! What’s yours?” it killed him. It ached, the sudden feeling of hollow loneliness. And the knowledge that they’d have to explain this to Monty.

Now this all seems depressing as shit, but this story carries themes revolving around togetherness and mutuality in the face of the worst circumstances.

Sun may be a blank slate for the most part, but he’s not naive or anything. Much more, I said a majority of his memories went kaput. Sunny has always been a social butterfly (it’s in his programming for goodness sake of course he would be), and despite how new everything feels everything in this daycare has this subtle but palpable sense of familiarity and nostalgia.

Which is to say nothing of the odd habits and compulsions to do things for reasons he doesn’t understand immediately. Things he can’t explain, but they feel right. Like ignoring his directive to tidy up balls of paper left by the kids because Moon likes batting them around and cleaning up after. Or pinning back the blankets draped over the back entrance to their room because Monty uses it and, bless his heart, keeps getting his scutes hung in them like a dumbass

It’s intriguing. Moreso whenever he gets the warm and fuzzies on the odd occasions he catches his shy and strangely avoidant moon-themed twin outside of working hours.

Not the warm and fuzzies he gets when his charges for the day flood through the daycare doors. A more personal and deep-rooted warm and fuzzies. A biting feeling that he knows this person, but he only met them briefly a few days ago.

And don’t get me started on the nifty gator that sneaks in during the wee hours of the night. He can’t make heads or tails of what they’re saying but he Knows there’s connections and he wants to know What.

I may never get around to drawing it, who knows we’ll se about story snippets here and there, but Sun essentially refamiliarizes himself with Moon and rebuilds the bond he shared with his sibling (he wants to know them SO BAD but they want space to process all the MEMORIES BETWEEN THEM THEYVE LOST AGSJSGSJSG), and on the other hand he falls in love with Monty all over again, this time instead of Monty vying for his attention, it goes the other way

Sun eventually learning the full scope of what caused all this. Him being drained, but also… relieved. But all throughout his journey to rediscover what was lost… finally relearning what made Moon so important to him and vice versa. Finally relearning why they both feel in love with this stupid gator and his stupid dumb lopsided smile and his stupid dumb glasses-

Him sitting them down and asking, begging to let him know them again. Because he feels so disjointed and off and he knows it’s because of them and he wants to fill the holes their absence has left. He wants to love them all over again.

You have rekindled many thoughts about this comic I made in a single night during a single discord livestream oh noooooo 😭💖

#ohhhh my god #bzkt spkz #dca fandom #many thoughts have made themselves de manifest forcibly and with Gusto #JUST THE STORY OF A MAN LOSING EVERYTHING THAT MADE HIM HIMSELF SLOWLY TURNING BACK INTO WHO HE WAS #BECAUSE MOON AND MONTY ARE INTRINSIC PARTS OF HIM THAT WERENT DAMAGED IN THE FALL #THEY MAY NOT BE PART OF HIM PHYSICALLY BUT DAMN IT THEY ARE PARTS HE CANT BE WITHOUT!!!!!!!!! FUCK #I hope this answers your question :)

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transmandrake · 1 year

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Feel like talking about art... I worry a lot that I've passed some kind of 'peak' in my art, not per se skillwise but productivity wise.

'I made a 65 page full colour full shading comic chapter and had it printed! Oh my god, I could never do that now', I think. But thankfully in this age I've seen this exact thing happen to so many artists slightly older than me... intense productivity in school, sudden drop in early 20's, figure shit out in late 20's. It makes sense, art was basically the only thing keeping me together for many of those productive years, and I was miserable.

And now, yeah, I'm back in a high stress environment, but this time I'm managing my own progress and am doing things I want to do on some level, that aren't art. Is it any wonder people go on massive hiatuses when theres no longer One Thing they want to do?

And well also. The classic. It is bonkers the amount of people I grew up admiring who crashed and burned in college and then get diagnosed with, well usually several things but especially ADHD. I'd like to think I'm "learning from other's """pitfalls"""" by nipping that revelation in the bud early (healthcare system tho... pls gimme anything... an appointment, maybe...) but I've been ruminating a long time on art advice and life advice and a lot of the time it's not possible to 'skip' on doing the 'wrong' thing.

So much art advice is like 'man i wish i learned anatomy or x thing when I was younger, so much time wasted' and yes it seems true in hindsight, learning anatomy is pivotal to my current art... but I think I had to *get* to a point art and well growing up wise where that was even something I could fully comprehend. Theres lots of things where, yeah, I'm sure sitting 12 year old me down and getting them excited about Bones and Muscles wasn't *impossible*, but there was like 100 mini lessons that have no names I had to learn first. It's like, a skill tree in a video game. You have to learn fireball I and II before great fireball IV or whatever. It's easy to say man, why didn't I learn Hard Thing sooner, I would have been so much better by now, when in order to be able for Hard Thing you had to learn all the smaller easier things it leads to. Going straight for the big guns isn't impossible, but you'll end up having to go backwards at some point. In fact I feel like that's what's happening to me now!

I'm like, why is my art shit conpared to a few years ago, why am I half-assing everything, and you know what I spent 5 years only doing full colour full shading stuff because that was The Inevitable Artistic Conclusion and doing Less would be Wasting My Time! And I think that was the right choice actually. *Because* it made me learn that thought process wasn't true.

Also ummm FFAK by kosmicdream who I am sheepishly not tagging basically rewrote my brain? A 6000+ and not even half finished comic drawn with maximum speed and not sweating the details? And its great? And at no point did I think the story was worse off for not being polished to 100% 'completion'? Preposterous!

Well, not really. Loads of comics are like that. I knew I didn't want to be like them. But hm, its a conscious choice now rather than a feeling of shame at not completing things. The reassurance that, it's okay to not finish things, and it's okay to do less in order to finish things. Balance. FFAK just really punched that lesson into my skull rather than the light jabs of comics I'd loved before. I can count the comics I read as a kid that actually *finished* on like, two hands max. I reevaluated, what do I want to be, perfect incompletion or finished imperfection. And chose both and neither because I'm a vile little contrarian.

Am I going to finish my comic? Finished doesn't exist, so no. Does that mean my tedious perfection is justified as long as the unfinished work is what I envisioned? Also no, because I am not the same person I was when I stopped lifting the pen and my idea of perfection is also always just out of reach. Also it's. A story. I want to tell it. Not look at it.

Like, just... do what you want. What you want will change, you can't put a box around it. But also develop discipline, because that box helps. It's always breaking and expanding and shrinking but the box has to be there. You have to try. But you won't succeed. And that's okay, because that's not the goal. It's a dance, not a house.

You might want to build a place to dance easier but you've gotta dance. And you suck at dancing but you love it. And if you don't love ot anymore, go work on the house until you want to again, and you'll think, why am I building this goddamn house instead of dancing, and you'll keep forgetting that the house exists to dance in. Then someday you come back off the scaffolding and realise, woah, holy shit, dancing here is going to be so much better.

And you think, why didn't I make the house like this in the first place? Well, because you only started building the house when you didn't want to dance, imagine if you made the house perfect, and then stopped liking dancing? Well you'd be me, you'd knock that house down, and you'd rebuild it all shit, because you didn't need the house to dance, you needed the process of building it. You can make that perfect house all the time, but you can only make a shit house once. No matter how you try, you're gonna figure out why the house is shit, and make it better.

And you'll say, why didn't I make this first before! I'm learning so much! And you'll remember why, it's because everyone said 'man, don't make a house like I made it. Look at my new house, its so much better, do that! I wasted so much time on the shit house!' But they didnt. They learned. You made their perfect house with no understanding of why it was perfect. You had to break it, to rebuild it, to retrace the steps, to learn.

#oh god I finally made my point #long post #does this make sense I dont know #hit post and maybe someone will get it but its okay if no one does its the process not the result

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naruthandir · 1 year

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Funny to me how for most people it's a LOTR->Linguistics pipeline but for me it was a linguistics->LOTR pipeline. I never really had an interest in reading Lord of the Rings because the whole thing used to struck me as very boring and I didn't really care but from ages 12-14 I was really getting into fantasy worldbuilding and conlanging "formally" (I did do that kind of stuff before that, but I didn't know it had a name or that there were comunities formed around it) and I said "Look if I am going to be a nerd about this I am going to be a full nerd about this I can't go around life calling myself a Fantasy Nerd™ when all I know about LOTR is that there is a fucked up goblin guy and Legolas has a bow" so I decided to bought the Fellowship of the Ring book in the bookstore because I am autistic and I have a hard time engaging with material I am unfamiliar with so I just picked the safest option and then I read it in a weekend. I came home, I sat down to read, and from the very start I was invested. Because Tolkien had THE BALLS to open his book with an extensive infodump about Hobbit culture and I was so into that. And the chapters in the Shire, they were a genuine delight for me. I thought the book would be boring but it was fun! It was funny! And hobbit culture felt so alive...

And when the final chapter of the Fellowship came I almost cried. Rightly, it was at that moment I realized that this was going to be a life-changing experience whether I like it or not.

Since I didn't have the rest of the books back then (and I wasn't really able to get them for reasons I don't remember) I did the most autistic thing: Right after finishing it, I decided to read it again, because I was that obsessed. I made so much silly cringy art of the characters as I imagined them and it was all I could think about in school. When I finally got my hands to The Two Towers and The Return of the King I decided to refresh my memory by reading Fellowship AGAIN and because it was summer I had the luxury to just sit down and read all day long and it was great.

I went into the books as blind as you could possibly go: I knew there were conlangs and lore, I knew there were elves, I knew the protagonist was named Frodo and the plot was about destroying a ring (there is also a being that calls the ring precious because its like a drug? Idk). But not much else. I didn't know Boromir was going to die. I didn't know about Galadriel or Elrond or Aragorn or Sam. Yes, I didn't know that Sam was a character. I was genuinely surprised at each turn the plot was taking. I was surprised about how GAY it all was (why didn't they tell me about this??) and I was absolutely shaken and emotionally destroyed with the ending. The Return of the King was an awakening of sorts for me, because I was expecting a whimsical fantasy story and instead I got to see The Horrors and I just couldn't believe the comic relief characters were dealing with suicidal ideation, out of all things.

And the last bit of Frodo's journey... Well, the scene in the tower of Cirith Ungol was genuinely rough (when Sam found Frodo, he was naked. And I just closed the book and stared into the ceiling for a while. I just had to take a break real fast) and the struggle with the ring as they got closer to Mordor and I was constantly almost-crying-but-not-quite and I knew, even though I went into the story un-spoiled, I knew Frodo wouldn't give up the ring. And then having him deal with the aftermath of it, and I was so distressed the whole time because finally, someone out there gets it. He sailed off to the west and I cried. I actually cried, right after finishing the book, yes, but for a few nights after as well. It was, well, a lot to process for 14 year old me. It had me looking up the diagnostic criteria of PTSD on Google at three in the morning because this can't be right. It wasn't that bad, surely I'm just being dramatic.

And it is very funny, that I was getting into the books expecting extensive sections of infodumping and lore and LINGUISTICS and I did get that, don't get me wrong, but I also got an emotionally resonant story that complelty re-contextuslized my lived experiences, helped me process stuff I had been shoving down the back of my mind because I didn't have the words to even describe it to myself, and lowkey turned me into a transgender anarchist. I was a changed man (just now fully aware that I was a man in the first place). It blew me away completely.

And it also reinforced my interest in linguistics! I often joke about this, but as a kid, I used to read the dictionary instead of paying attention in class. I liked words. Like, a lot. I liked the way words interacted with each other. I was like 9, perhaps, when I first attempted to create a made-up language, for a race of fictional mermaid race. I was really into My Little Pony at the time and I stole a lot of the story from there (don't forget I was nine) and my attempt at conlanging utterly failed, but still. LOTR felt pretty much tailored to me, when I finally gave it a shot. My favorite appendix was, of course, the one dealing with translation. If I was mildly interested in linguistics before this sent me down a rabbithole. I did my whole final school project for graduating on minority languages of Europe (though, due to the pandemic, I never finished it, which is a shame). I picked the literature course in high-school over the fine arts course because they had a morphology and etymology class. I named myself Beren, for fuck's sake, and I've been going by this name in real life for two and a half years by now. That's how important it was.

I really can't overstate how much this silly little book with silly little fairy people influenced my life. It's. Well, it's cringy, it's awfully, awfully cringy, embarrassing, mortifying. Isn't it funny, that we are shamed and made fun of for loving things so unapologetically? For genuinely connecting with art? Even though that's like, the whole point?

I just want to say. This is important to me. This means a lot to me. I keep talking about it but I can't help myself because it's hilarious. I went into this book out of a sense of responsibility and it completely changed my life.

This post wasn't meant to be this long. Uh. Sorry. I just wanted to make a silly joke about "Tolkien fan goes on to study formal linguistics, but it's not for the reason you think" but it turned into this whole personal rant. This is like a tendency of mine, no I don't know how to stop it. I'm sorry if this is in your dash lmao

#personal #naru speaks #lotr #JIRT WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YOU OLD BRITISH MAN OUT OF ALL PEOPLE #but also not lotr #meta #ish..?#rolling around in the ground #not to subscribe to the mortifying of being sincere online #And expose myself #But also who cares

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niko-jpeg · 2 years

Text

Moonlight (Drabble)

Words: 2,364

Description: One late night, Nyx decides to bring her son into a forest in the human world to play.

Notes:

It is seriously 2:00 AM when I am posting this and I wrote all of this in one sitting.

So here, some food for the three Nyx fans, six Izanami stans and all the Ryoji enjoyers. Hes a little child in this :)

Let me know what I did right or wrong, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

The night was clear and crisp, the early autumn breeze sending a chill through the air. From where they were, the full night sky could be seen. The entire world was perfect and at peace, just as it should be.

The full moon lit up the meadow just enough that the visibility was good but they could not be seen by any trouble making teenagers who happened to be out and about in the woods late at night. It was a perfect night to be out and about.

Nyx sighed and leaned back against the tree she sat under, a comically large book in hand as she read by the pale moonlight. It was nothing interesting, but it's not like she really brought anything else to do.

“Mom!!”

Nyx perked up, watching as her little son ran across the field to her, his usual bright and happy smile on his face. She couldn't help but smile back at the young child as he approached, grasping something in his hands.

Ryoji was the best gift she had ever received. Absolutely no questions asked. He was a piece of her that had split off merely a few years ago, taking the form of a human child of all things the majority of the time, despite what other gods said.

Despite his human-like appearance, her son was far from human. His human looks only went so far as well. Sure, he had pale skin and bright blue eyes full of hope and very very fluffy brown-grey hair, but aside from that he was very… feathery.

And he also had a pair of adorable little double wings on his back, much like her own. Underneath the feathers of all of his wings were, strangely enough, seemingly bio luminescent streaks of greenish blue that flared when he was sad and glowed in the dark sometimes.

He also had a more traditional “Shadow” appearance, but he preferred not to use it and Nyx respected that. Nor could she blame him, as she was currently taking on a more human form as well.

To think she would ever get the chance to raise a child, at that one of her own making, was incredible. She didn't care that the other gods thought she was an idiot for not just fusing him back into her whole being. He was her son, and to be treated as such.

And what kind of mother would she be if she didn't let him outside to play sometimes?

“Yes dear?” Nyx replied, shutting her book to give her full attention to Ryoji. She frowned slightly at him, noticing how he was just letting his wings trail limply behind him.

“Guess what?!” Ryoji exclaimed, hiding the object in his hands behind his back.

“What is it? Also, please fix your wings. You’ll hurt yourself one of these days!” Nyx fussed, shifting onto her knees and reaching for her childs wings. On instinct, he shied away from her, making a slight noise of protest.

“No, you have to guess!!”

“I do not know. ‘What is up’, as you kids say.” Nyx put heavy air quotes around the last part. Ryoji giggled a little, finally revealing what he was hiding.

“Ta-da!! I made this for you!”

In his hands was a simple flower crown, made mostly of wildflowers and long strands of grass.

“My, you’re very talented. Who taught you to make these?” Nyx smiled softly, watching her son practically begin to vibrate in excitement at the praise. Oh, he was just so cute.

“Izanami taught me.” Ryoji replied, getting on his tippy toes and placing the crown on his mothers head, giving Nyx a face full of feathers in the process.

By ‘he was very feathery”, she meant it. Most of the time Ryoji didn't wear a shirt due to his wings getting in the way and the fluffy down all over his torso acting as a shield against the elements. It was most concentrated around his chest, which made sense since it was on level with the base of his wings. However, it meant any time he gave anyone a hug or did anything physical everyone got to deal with the feathery mess that was usually the aftermath.

“That was very sweet of her. Did you thank her?” Nyx asked, to which Ryoji promptly enthusiastically nodded.

“Good. She likes you a lot. Now fix your posture!” Nyx took Ryoji’s shoulders and gently straightened them out from their previously slouched position, squeezing a whine out of her child.

“But they hurt…” Ryoji complained, feathers bristling a little bit.

“What hurts?” Nyx rubbed his shoulder with her thumb gently, but allowed him to slouch a little bit.

“I guess its not hurt? But my back feels weird.” Ryoji explained, folding his wings close to his body and wincing.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Would you like me to look?” Nyx offered, but Ryoji turned it down quickly with a shake of the head. “Alright then. Are your wings bothering you at all?”

Hesitantly, Ryoji nodded. “...stiff.”

Nyx hummed in understanding and pushed herself to her feet. She was a whole lot taller than her son, and practically towered over him. He was a mere 3 feet tall, while Nyx herself was bordering 6.

“In that case, would you like to stretch them a little?”

Ryoji’s eyes practically sparkled as the proposal, the little boy immediately taking his mothers hand and chirping happily.

It made her heart melt. Stars above she had such a wonderful son.

“Do you remember how to take off on your own?” Nyx questioned, Ryoji yet again nodding. “In that case, go ahead and give it a try.”

“Okay!”

Ryoji dropped her hand and flared his wings a little, the blue glowy streaks hiding underneath the feathers becoming visible for a moment.

The young child ran ahead and jumped, wind catching under his wings and allowing him to soar upwards into the clear sky.

Nyx watched proudly as her son circled the clearing, eventually pausing in the middle of the sky and staring down at his mother expectantly. The way that the moonlight shined off of the boy made it seem as if he were glowing.

Nyx smiled and untucked her own pair of wings from her back and in one smooth motion, launched upwards into the sky to meet her child. She didn't need to bother with the running start thing any more. Stationary take off was almost easier at that point.

Ryoji flapped over to her, losing his balance for a moment while doing so. He made a point in rebalancing and puffing a little bit proudly at his success.

Her son had only been flying for a little while now. Nyx had forbidden him from even trying until he was at least 7 years old for his own safety, especially given wings grow with the body and it could be potentially dangerous for a young child.

It was Izanami that had actually convinced her to let him even try flying on his own.

“He’ll probably start to question why he’s not allowed sooner rather than later, and then try to do it on his own and get hurt.” Izanami had pointed out, leaning on Nyx’s shoulder as she watched Ryoji sleep in her arms, his adorable little fluffball wings tucked safely around him.

“...Why do you care?” Nyx had retorted, earning a laugh from the other god.

“Why wouldn't I? You’re my friend and he's your kid.”

Ryoji accidentally bumped into Nyx, forcing him back off balance and making him squawk.

Nyx caught him before he could fall, swooping back down to earth so he could try again. She planted the child firmly on his feet on the ground, landing lightly next to him.

“Would you like to try again?” Nyx asked.

“No thank you. I’m getting sleepy.” Ryoji replied politely, very obviously getting tired.

Flying did that to him. It required muscles not normally used in day to day life, and therefore his stamina was significantly lower on that front. It didn't help that it was nearly one in the morning and he had been playing all day.

While there weren't very many other kids to hang out with, that damn Izanami loved playing with him. She even referred to him as “Ryoji” instead of “Thanatos” like everyone else did.

Ryoji’s name was a highly debated topic among bored gods. A lot of them called him Thanatos just to mess with him, even though his actual name was “Ryoji Pharos Mochizuki”. Hell, some people even called him “Nyx’s Avatar” which was just plain rude. Not Izanami though.

“Would you like to rest now?” The god asked, not waiting for a reply to scoop him up and bring him back over to the tree where she had abandoned her book. Ryoji yawned into his hand and snuggled up against Nyx’s chest, resting his head there and shutting his eyes. By the time they got to the tree, he was already fast asleep.

However, they no longer appeared to be alone in the clearing.

“Man, your books are boring.” A vaguely masculine voice said in Japanese.

Nyx sighed harshly and glared at the intruder.

“What do you want Izanami?” Nyx switched to Japanese and snapped quietly, trying not to wake her sleeping child. Not that she really had to worry, he was a heavy sleeper.

Izanami stared up at her with a smug look, grey hair falling over her face a little.

“Nothing, I’m just enjoying the night and trying to read your incredibly boring book.” Izanami yawned dramatically, standing to face the other god. Nyx wasn't much taller than Izanami and pissed her off.

“You don't speak Latin.” Nyx pointed out bluntly.

“Exactly. Read a Japanese book, they’ve at least got some ‘character’.” Izanami snorted a little at her language pun, but Nyx really wasn't impressed.

“What do you really want?”

Izanami’s expression darkened.

“You know exactly why I’m out here.”

Nyx glared at the other god.

“My safety is not of your concern, Izanami.”

The god sighed. “I know. And I can't stop you, but seriously, it's getting more and more dangerous for you to be out here. You heard about those new Anti Shadow weapon things. You could be in danger, or worse, Ryoji could be.”

“As I said, my safety is-”

“I know, but am I not allowed to at least care about my friend?” Izanami retorted, crossing her arms over her chest. A breeze flowed through the meadow, rustling Izanami’s white coat and Nyx’s midnight hair.

Nyx didn't reply, but simply turned away from Izanami to stare at the sky dramatically. “Please leave, Izanami.”

Izanami sighed, and very suddenly did Nyx find a pair of arms snaking around her waist and a head on her shoulder, leaning into the crook of her neck.

Nyx stiffened, grip tightening on her son. She felt Izanami bury her face further in her neck, a small purr kicking up in the back of the other gods throat.

“Just be careful, alright?” Izanami mumbled into her neck.

“I thought I told you to leave.” Nyx retorted, not making any move to remove the clingy god from her.

“Aww, don't you want to stay and snuggle?” Izanami joked (well, it was probably a joke). Nyx sighed harshly.

“If I agree, do you promise to leave?!”

“Oh fuck, really?- I mean, yeah, I can do that.” Izanami replied, letting go of Nyx in favor of falling back against the tree.

Izanami opened her arms in an inviting gesture, making Nyx roll her eyes. Careful to not disturb Ryoji, Nyx sat down next to Izanami, who immediately latched onto her and forced Nyx into a partial hug.

Izanami did this kind of thing often. For a god with a husband (?), she was pretty touchy feely and cuddly. But weirdly enough, it was only towards Nyx. If she had to guess, she just liked the reaction she got out of doing it.

“Your flower crown is cute.” Izanami purred, staring up at the sky with a distant look.

“Indeed.” Nyx replied curtly.

A brief silence was shared, before Nyx spoke up again.

“You said something about Anti Shadow weapons. What's with the sudden paranoia?”

Izanami sighed, adjusting her cloak to cover both of them.

“There's been talk of this weird project from this ‘Kirijo Group’, I don't know what they're planning but I saw and overheard one of those weapons. They’re disguised robots supposed to look like humans. Chances are that we would both count as ‘Shadows’ in their eyes and from what I've heard, fighting them is a death sentence and getting away is impossible. I don't even want to think about what they would do to Ryoji if they got their hands on him. The robots or the group.”

Nyx felt Ryoji shift a little, clenching his little fist in some of the fabric of her dress.

“I’m worried about you, Nyx. Not only are there those weapons, but Ere-”

“Please stop talking.” Nyx bit out, her eyes narrowing.

Much to Nyx’s surprise, Izanami actually shut up.

Izanami instead leaned into Nyx and rested her head on the other shoulder, continuing to stare up at the stars.

“May we return now?” Nyx asked softly, caressing Ryoji’s wings with her hand. Izanami took her cape back and reclipped it around her front, still quiet.

Before Nyx could stand, Izanami grabbed Nyx’s face and pressed a small kiss to her cheek, before promptly teleporting away.

Nyx sat in shock for a moment, not entirely sure what just happened.

“...Holy shit…”

A moment passed as she just sat there and tried to wrap her head around the fact that Izanami had just straight up kissed her.

“Mom?” Ryoji chirped quietly, startling Nyx. She didn't realize he was awake.

“Yes?”

“Why do you guys worry about me so much?”

Nyx’s heart sank.

Because you were never supposed to exist. Because you truly are an avatar of death as the others say. Because your life is put simply, a lie.

“Because I love you.” Is what Nyx settled on.

“Also…”

“Yes?”

“What does ‘shit’ mean?”

Nyx laughed.

“Dont worry about it.”

#persona 3 #persona series #persona 4 #I guess #Izanami persona #Nyx persona series #ryoji mochizuki #Niko.jpeg #Nyx/Izanami #Man talk about a rarepair #Reality’s Edge

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castillodeleon · 2 years

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Title: Big Brother Leo Time Frame: SDCC Location: Hard Rock Hotel A/N: Leo finds out there may be a baby in the works. ( I should have posted this days ago but I am trash.)

@antony-malinowski

Sebastián &/or Leo : After dodging a few fans and grabbing a bite at a nearby restaurant, Sebastián was exhausted and he imagined his husband and their son was too. "Are you two okay over there?" He walked hand in hand with his quiet husband and son back toward the hotel. "Let me guess. Food baby?" The steak house was absolutely delicious but incredibly filling. "We need time to digest, I think"

Tony : Antony hadn't expected that there would be fans that recognized them at comic con, especially with how many other celebrities were there. And so he was glad that their dinner had been uninterrupted and let him actually have a chance to hang out with his family. "Definitely a food baby," Antony chuckled, "Honestly I was thinking about just going back to the hotel and having an early night."

Sebastián &/or Leo : Sebastián chuckled at Tony's words and checked in with Leo who was groaning as he walked beside his dads. "Dad, I will never eat again." Seb laughed and shook his head. "Give it an hour." He gestured toward the hotel when Tony shared his thoughts and they continued walking. Thankfully, the hotel wasn't too far. "Leo, I know your promised Jace some Fortnite time but do you think we can talk for a few minutes when we get in? We'll be quick, promise."

Tony : "Never again? Really? Not even if I make more challah bread next week?" Antony joked, "I guess I'll have to make less since it'll just be me and Dad." He gave Leo a wink to let him know that he wasn't actually serious. "Yeah, we just have a couple things to talk about, it's nothing bad. So you'll still have plenty of Fortnite time when I pass out into a food coma."

Sebastián &/or Leo : Sebastián chuckled at his husband's antics knowing he had gotten Leo with they challah bread. "Yum. More for me." He grinned and Leo rolled his eyes before he laughed along with his dads. "Okay. I'll message him on discord when we get back and tell him. But please Pop, make some challah bread? I'll help you." He grinned and they all walked into the hotel. "Do you think we can get breakfast before day 2 tomorrow? At the little diner down the block?" Sebastián laughed. "See? Already thinking of food!" Once they arrived at their room, Seb asked his son to throw his costume into the washer and that they'd do the same once the talk was over. Seb moved to sit at the couch in the suite, asking Tony to sit beside him and Leo across from them. "Do you want to start, honey?"

Tony : "Well, okay then. Only if you help," Antony smiled, laughing in approval as Leo asked about breakfast the next morning. And in the few minutes it took to get settled in, and changed into a pair of pajama pants and an old t-shirt, Antony found himself excited about the conversation they were about to have. Sitting next to his husband, he smiled at Leo. "So......." he said starting, "we've both noticed you not being subtle at all about wanting a sibling, and your Dad and I were wondering how you would feel about us starting that process soon?"

Sebastián &/or Leo : Sebastián was over the moon and full of excitement but he loved that Tony would be the one to start the conversation. He made sure to watch his son, beaming with pride at how much he's grown and how he is sometimes more of an adult than he is. The smile on his face never faded as Tony spoke and he waited patiently for the response. "Aunt Mila is starting?!" Leo was pretty sure his parents knew how he and Mila had joined forces to drive them insane and he also knew that Aunt Mila was more than willing to make this big dream of theirs come through but still, nothing prepared him for the happiness he felt in that moment. "Dads! Really?" He stood up and began to pace. "This is excellent news! Does does does Aunt Mila need help with her appointments? I read that you can hear a heartbeat as early as 6 weeks sometimes. She's probably going to need a lot of snacks before those shots they give you make you super hungry. Oh! and we'll have to consider the possibility of having twins like Aunt Celeste and Uncle Thomas. You know it's possible, dads. I've read it and saw a whole thing on Nat Geo." He took a deep breath and then stared at his parents before tossing himself onto them, draping his arms around their necks. "I am going to be the best brother that has ever existed! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Seb chuckled as he watched Leo walk back and forth from one point to another and then wrapped his arm around their son when he group hugged them. "Leo, what did I say about googling all these things?" But the excitement took over and he was all smiling. "Hey Beast Boy, you're hopefully going to be a big brother."

Tony : "Started actually, she's already been to the doctor and started the shots about a month ago and didn't even tell us until we brought it up. And she's got the embryo transfer appointment on August 1st so we should know a couple weeks after that,," Antony explained to Leo - considering all the googling he didn't think that he needed to explain, "But she's got her husband to help her out with her appointments, so you don't need to worry about that, okay? Just focus on the big brother part," he smiled as he hugged Leo tight. Truthfully he hadn't even though of the idea of multiples - while he knew the possibilities it just seemed like it was unlikely to even hope about that. "Like there's no promises, but I wanted to make sure that you were okay with it all when we've also got your adoption hearing at the end of next month too."

Sebastián &/or Leo : Seb nodded along with Tony, holding the group embrace they had going on before their son pulled back. "Okay. And my lips are sealed! It'll be hard but I can do it!." He was already so excited about the adoption hearing and their lives changing drastically that Leo was glowing at this point. "I'm okay with it. More than okay with it. I'm going to tell everyone once I'm able to though. Jason first and then I'll tell Ms. Leibowitz and my hockey coach and everyone on my discord and ...Khamani and Luna! And and everyone! When I'm able to. I promise. Scout's honor." He held up two fingers and then saluted his dads. "Okay, now I'm hungry. Did we bring any snacks? I'm thinking cheetos. Who wants Cheetos?" Seb laughed, leaning in to Tony to kiss his cheek as Leo went on and on. "Only when we say so, Lee..." But his son was in the middle of a rant and all he could do was scoot even closer to Tony, placing his head on his husband's shoulder. "Ready to be a dad again?"

Tony : "I think that I have some Cheetos in my backpack if you want to grab them," Antony laughed - despite the fact that Leo's metabolism seemed to be going at lightspeed, Antony still felt like he was five seconds away from going into a food coma. "I'm still getting used to being a dad now," he chuckled as he kissed the top of his husband's head, "What about you? Ready to handle a baby again?"

Sebastián &/or Leo : "Thanks, Pops! Oh my God, Jason, I gotta call you right now! No, I can't tell you why I'm excited but I need to talk to you about things." He screamed into his voice notes on the phone that only worked when there was Wi-Fi. Tony and Seb were still deciding if a functional phone would be too much for a ten-year-old. Seb watched Leo run off to the bathroom to remove his make-up and call his best friend and then he finally let a laugh he had been holding in out. "Oh my God. I guess he's ready." "I'm going, to be honest, I'm worried I forgot everything but I think we'll be more than okay and yeah, I want to hold a little one so bad...call it ours."

Tony : Antony watched as Leo went to go de-greenify himself, happy to see how excited he was about it. "I guess so, I thought that he'd have at least a couple more questions, but I guess he's like nope let's do this yesterday," he said, taking Seb's hand. "Please, you're going to be the baby whisperer and they are going to fall asleep for you and then once I have them they'll start screaming again. But I do too, like I can just keep imagining their little face and all the cute clothes."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "He's also got the attention span of a goldfish and is high on cheesecake." Seb chuckled and shook his head. He listened to Tony with a gentle smile pulling at his lips. "You think that now. I don't even know how I did it with Leo. I had no one really. I'm so glad I have you. "The clothes and the little shoes, right? I'm going to be so scared to sleep ever again. I'll turn into you."

Tony : "There's only room for one insomniac coffee addict in this relationship and I called dibs," Antony laughed, "but we can take turns with feedings so that we both can actually get some sleep."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "Alright, fine fine." He jumped when Leo's suite room door closed. "And off he goes. Hes another insomniac." He smiled. "That sounds like the perfect plan. Hopefully my new schedule at work will help with keeping the new baby structured. Ahh I just want their little hand wrapped around my finger.

Tony : "He better not be, he's only 10, he's too young for that," Antony laughed as he nodded, "It should, I think the fact both of us are getting better schedules is going to be a huge help since you aren't going to be sleeping away most of the afternoon."

Sebastián &/or Leo : Seb couldn't help but take a moment to glance and admire his husband. He was truly the missing piece and to see how much he's already bonded with Leo and created such a beautiful trust pact with him made him so happy. "Tell me about it. I hate missing out so much. If all goes well for us, the week after we return from this comic con, I'll be a brand new man and Mila will hopefully have some good news for us soon. I'm the luckiest man alive to be going through this with you, honey." He took Tony's hand and kissed every single knuckle before chuckling. "I love you so much."

Sebastián &/or Leo : After Leo processed the news he already felt was coming and after he took the time to really think about all the changes that would mean for him and his dads, he poked his head out in the suite's living room and smiled. "Hey, dads. I have questions now." He made his way over to sit between both his fathers. "What if I'm not a good big brother? What if I lose them? What if I drop them? What if I don't know what they want? What if they don't like me???"

Tony : "I love you too," Antony smiled, resting his head against Seb's. He was about to suggest having an early night when Leo popped back in with questions. "Well the fact that you're worried means that youre going to be a great big brother," Antony assured him ruffling his son's hair. "And I am going to tell you a medical secret: babies are both fragile and hard to break, so while I will look them over, if you drop them they will probably be fine. But luckily we have a pretty good nurse in the family so we'll be able to have an idea immediately," he smiled, "and you know we might lose them, though I think thats unlikely for any of us, or not know what they want either, its just part of being around a baby. And I think that as long as you love then they'll love you back."

Sebastián &/or Leo : Sebastián laughed lightly at Leo's rapid fire questions. Somehow he knew he'd come with them. It was unlike Leo to not have more to add to such a vital conversation. Letting Tony take the lead, Sebastián's grew as he listened to his husband answer every question their son had. He was an amazing father. "We really are lucky to have a nurse in the house. I think we are all going to be great for the baby when they come. And you especially, you're going to be the best mentor and big brother." Leo listened to both his dads, taking in everything they were saying only to get momentarily quiet. "I'm so happy. With both of my dads and my new family and now with a brother or sister in the future. I'm the luckiest kid in California."

Tony : "Yeah, you definitely are," Antony smiled, glad that Leo was handling it so well. "and you don't need to worry about doing everything right first time, okay? I know all three of us are a bit perfectionistic, but all of us are going to mess up. Me and your Dad too, so keep that in mind okay? We're all figuring it out together."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "That does make me feel better.." Leo smiled at his dads. "I'll probably have a lot more questions once it really happens. Oh, I hope it does." He put up his crossed fingers and then leaned in to kiss both his fathers on the cheek. "Okay. Good night for real. I love you both forever and ever."

Tony : "Yeah, I hope that it does too kiddo. If you have any more questions tonight, write them down so you get them out of your mind and we'll talk to you about it in the morning, okay?" he asked, before giving Leo another good night. "I really love that kid, you know that? I'm so glad that I got both of you."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "That's a good idea, pops. You're definitely the brains of this operation." Leo finger gunned his father and winked at Seb. "Hey! I am offended but also, you're not wrong." He chuckled and pulled one of the blankets that had been folded on top of the couch over himself and Tony only to lay back and on his husband's lap. He looked up at him with a smile. "I know and we're lucky to have you. I love our little family and I'm so excited to begin this new chapter with you."

Tony : "Yeah, I'm excited for it too," Antony smiled, running his fingers through his husbands hair as he fought back another yawn. Despite the fact he was tired, the conversation had woken him up enough that he wasn't quite ready to try to go bed quite yet. "And just to get to make memories with you all now. Even if we are in San Diego, I honestly think that this weekend might be my first actual happy memory here."

Sebastián &/or Leo : Seb smiled as Tony ran his fingers through his hair. It was hard to imagine doing this with anyone else and even with how quickly things had evolved between them, there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think he was the luckiest man in the world. There were a lot of thoughts going through his head of how busy life was when they had first gotten back and how the adjustment period was somewhat tough but not enough to test their relationship, and how getting Leo on board was incredibly easy. But he realized that Tony was referring to his memories in San Diego and that's when Seb reached up to cup his husband's cheek, gently massaging it with his thumb. "Thank you for coming with us. I know that this wasn't going to be easy for you but I'm glad we made the first of many happy memories here to make up for the others." If he could take away Tony's past he would but Seb didn't have such power. For now, he'd focus on cultivating and maintaining healthier and happier memories for him to look back on.

Tony : "I think it was easier knowing the chances of running into anyone was low," Antony admitted. It wasn't as if his parents or sisters would be interested in coming to this sort of an event, and with the amount of resturants and gas stations in the city the probability of being at the same one at the same time were low. "I would love that, even just getting a chance to see some of San Diego I never got a chance to see growing up here.

Sebastián &/or Leo : "We can make it a family thing. You know, to do away with the trauma!" He smiled. "We'll come out here on a weekend, pick something to do and just go with it. Before you know it, you'll be full of happy memories." He cuddled into Tony's stomach and yawned softly. "I'll protect you."

Tony : "I would love that," Antony admitted, smiling down at his husband, "I know you will. I just hope that you never have to."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "I hope so too. I'm proud of you. For surviving day one of this craziness with us. Leo has some energy." He grinned and let out a soft sigh. "Hey..." He looked up at him. "Friendly reminder that we're going to have a babyyyyy."

Tony : The reminder caused Antony's face to light up, joy from the reminder spilling out of him. "Yes we are," he smiled, "and we're just going to keep being amazing dads."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "When the baby arrives... because I'm putting it out there. We should have a nice reception here. Like a celebration of love type of thing. We can invite more people and sort of doing everything on our terms. By then, Cel and Thomas' twins will be here and the Grimaldi baby so it'll be a little less hectic for everyone. What do you think? It'll be like a little vow renewal."

Tony : "I would love that," Antony smiled as he thought about it. There were people missing from their wedding, Seb's sisters, Mila's husband and kids. It would be nice to have them there. To truly have a reception type thing that wasnt for the cameras. "Maybe if we are lucky Mila will get pregnant within the first couple of cycles and we could have it on our first anniversary?"

Sebastián &/or Leo : "That would be pretty cool." Though he knew he had to be sensible about it all, the excitement was getting the best of him. "Our first anniversary! That's so exciting when you think about it. It's funny how it feels like it was just yesterday because for most people it was..." He laughed. "And also it feels like we should be celebrating our 5th or 10th even." Seb smiled contently. "Do you want to head to bed?" He reached up to scratch Tony's beard affectionaly. "Never shave this, please." He sat up and then kissed his husband on the lips. "Come on, tomorrow is another crazy day of super heroes and cosplays."

Tony : "Yeah, or they watched and rewatched us falling in love that they forget it's our actual life. Do you think that there's going to be more of those fans tomorrow?" Antony asked a little wary about it, though he relaxed more as he kissed his husband, nodding at his question about going to bed. "I'm going to be exhausted by the end of this."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "What are you talking about? What life?" He winked at his husband even though it bothered him how some people didn't understand that. "Hopefully not? Maybe it'll be a calmer day. And yeah, we're going to need a vacation from it." Seb chuckled.

Tony : "A vacation from our vacation, I never understood that phrase until now," Antony laughed, despite it being true, "Come on, let's go to bed before us old people regret it in the morning."

Sebastián &/or Leo : "Exactly!" He laughed and stood up, leaving the blanket behind and taking Tony's hand to walk to their bed but not before checking in on Leo who was already sound asleep. He was so proud of him for taking the news so well. He walked into the bathroom to begin his night routine, glancing over at his husband with a smile. He couldn't wait for his family to grow even more.

#Paras #para: Big brother Leo

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independentartistbuzz · 1 year

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Indie 5-0 with Paul Shapera

Paul Shapera makes pulp operas who’s fantasy musicals cover a 180 year span of history in the fictional city of New Albion. Albums can shift genre from steampunk to dieselpunk, atompunk to weird west, psychedelic to cyberpunk, depending on where in the timeline the story is taking place. These strange tales are full of morally ambiguous characters, high drama, intricate world building, and soaring melodies.

His most recent work, Jill’s Psychedelic Sunday, covers the bounds of the psychedelic genre as we take a journey with his staple character Jill through her initiation-induced psychedelic trip.

We got to speak with Paul Shapera about Jill’s Psychedelic Sunday and his career in this edition of Indie 5-0. So, without further ado, let’s dive in:

What made you write pulp operas like your latest release Jill's Psychedelic Sunday?

I am the son of a librarian and grew up with my mother bringing home about ten books a day for me to choose from. Thus reading and stories were ingrained in me. I first wanted to write and draw comic books, then be a straight up writer, but by high school, the incredible, emotional expression that music offered had taken hold. Creating pulp operas is the perfect amalgamation of these ambitions. I get to tell stories, paint emotional moods, and create excuses for singers to sing wailing, dramatic high notes.

Which song on Jill's Psychedelic Sunday was the most fun to write/record/produce? Which one was the most difficult?

The song Cerebral Deep was probably the most fun because the entire second half of the song is a long, at times chaotic build. I love making builds and having all these sounds come in and out was enormous fun. My second favorite is also the hardest: The Cosmic Hoedown. The Cosmic Hoedown is great fun because it’s so driving and making it keeps me in this constant, ecstatic state. However, getting the mix right required endless tinkering. Because it’s space rock, a sweaty, hairy band of musicians could bang it out with ease. Impersonating the sound and energy of that sweaty, hairy band required a lot more finesse than one might think.

How did you come up with your cast of characters and the fictional city of New Albion? What does your creative process look like?

The sprawling epic that is the New Albion universe happens story by story. I’ve been able to build up to longer arcs, but this was done by first mastering connected short stories, than album length tales. The very first thing i do is decide what genre of music i want to create. This will decide where in time the story will take place. Then i write the story, always leaving some holes to be filled once i’m in the middle of the process. Once the story outline is made, it’s a matter of dividing the story beats into songs. It’s important to make sure songs aren’t simply events happening. Since this is not text but music, the best moments will be a character emotionally reacting to a situation.

It is at this point i can sit down and begin making the music. These days i first come up with the sung melody, which I’ll jot down on a piano track. Next is my favorite part, creating the musical texture, the sound itself. Once this part begins, the structure has already been decided on, and so everything now is moment to moment decisions. As these moment to moment decisions are made, the song can take an unforeseen identity and i will usually abandon my preconceived ideas and follow where the song wants to go, as long as it still serves the larger piece. Once all the fun stuff is done, i have to do the drudgery of making sheet music for the singers and sending it off for them to learn.

Is there a genre you haven't yet explored in your pulp operas that you would love to dive into? If so, which one and why?

I always wanted to do a tribal sounding album. Lots of drums and old instruments. Peter Gabriel’s Passion meets Rusted Root meets Heilung. I don’t know when I’ll possibly get to do this as it doesn’t fit any of my current plans, but it is a style I’d like to do.

What can your fans expect to see next?

I am extremely excited to wrap up the current New Albion timeline (I’m almost there) and embark upon a space opera. The space opera will be a sprawling tale that be well outlined in advance (with room for inspired ideas along the way) and take several years to tell. I have a decent bit of it mapped out, although I’ve tried not to, but sometimes the ideas just come. The New Albion tales were mostly assembled album by album, and this gives me an opportunity to start with a relatively clean slate and plan out a long, sprawling tale with greater and more careful intention. It will begin about 300 years from when The Lost Fairy ends and feature an entirely new cast of characters and settings, although along the way a few continuations will emerge. My goal was to finish the live show next July before hunkering down to conceive and outline it, but ideas keep showing up at my house despite having asked them to please wait. At some point while making this space opera series i may need a break, in which case I’d like to make an album of short stories, each one being a different bit of the various creepypasta myths.

Connect with Paul Shapera via: Website / Instagram / Facebook / Twitter / YouTube / Spotify / Soundcloud

#Paul Shapera #Jills Psychedelic Sunday #psychedelic music #newmusic #newalbum #New Albion #interview

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happyendingsong · 2 years

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im tabling at dcc in like three and a half weeks -_- -_- -_- -_- -_- which will be a ton of fun once im there but dear god im out of practice

i need to figure out what to prioritise making in the next while, and be very positive affirmations voice I AM CAPABLE OF FINISHING A PIECE OF ART AND IT WILL BE FUN REEMBRACING THE FULL ARTISTIC PROCESS about it

some ideas i have areeee:

twewy print, neku shiki beat and josh all piggybacking on each other

twewy badges/keychains which would be fun but ive no idea if they'd sell </3 maybe i should just test the waters with the print this time round and see what happens. maybe it'd be smarter using the neo twewy gang but like i have zero interest LOL.

kh sora print i started ages ago when he got announced for smash that i never finished

monster high print, im not sure what though, kind of thinking about dressing them up like 80s horror final girls or smth but im not sure how to translate that properly

bratz print, general y2k fashion shite

ff7 print, the gang in 90s fits hanging out with cats, styled like an old school adoption/psa poster?

ff7 badges/keychains?

kh sorikai print, the three of them getting healed at a save point

advtime bubbline print, IVE NEEDED TO MAKE A BUBBLINE PRINT FOR GENUINELY YEARS BUT I NEVER HAVE ANY IDEAS. I STILL DONT HAVE ANY IDEAS WHATS WRONG WITH ME.

ygo print, mai and her harpie ladies. ive had this one on my vision board for yearsssss i just need to sit down and do it 💆‍♀️

mp100 print, the cast all wearing themed raincoats w umbrellas

mp100 badges? keychains?

kh sora print, him in the 100 acre wood

jennifer's body as a goosebumps cover

fnaf print, gachapon with all the animatronics in lil capsules (i made fnaf badges before but they never really sold that well, but i feel like the new game brought a lot of people back/made people really nostalgic for the series as a whole/now the kids who grew up with fnaf have disposable income to buy shit at cons?? idk um. lol)

eah print, lil cutesy cartoon versions of the gorls all hanging out on a big fairytale book. but i think eah is pushing it, i should see if the mh print has any takers before committing to eah.

advtime finn print or finn and jake, i SHOULD have another thing since all my advtime stuff is from like 2013 or smth. would LOVE to have more advtime on the table, i just need to think of smth 😔

could be a complete sellout and just do owl house because i know it'd sell..... i won't but i could.

same w she ra

same w ace attorney? though it'd be less sellouty because i do actually like aa, and i think aa stuff does REALLY well here

MAYBE sdr2? would have to rack my brain pretty hard but it could be a good shout

aw maybe i could finish my wwe 4hw print from years ago? i think it WOULDVE sold when i first started it in like 2019 but im not sure about now :/ although i think ott are actually putting on a little show at dcc this year so maybe doing a wrestling print makes a fair bit of sense. but i feel like if any nerds at a comic con are buying wrestling prints, they're gonna be aew fans. and idk if aew has any women id care enough about to make up a whole print for.....

kh girls print

the sims bella goth print

atla print, the gaang hanging out with turtle ducks or azula's girl squad

i also want to make a lil art zine of my life drawing bits from last year, i think that'd be cute :)

fart cunt faggy dyke cock pussy porn, hopefully this doesn't show up in tags

#o #ugh genuinely what ARE the big fandoms at the moment??#i think youd make a killing doing like catgirl better call saul or succession prints but i dont watch either #fire emblems is probably gonna kill it? i dont know anything about it though #i THINK mh ygo kh ff7 aa are probably the safest bets.#like mh might completely flop but i THINK it's having a bit of a moment/kids that grew up on it are having nostalgia about it now #ugh idk i need to do my homework and see what everyone else is doing #CON PREP MAKES ME SO NERVOUS. UGH!!!!!!!!!#lemme know if yous have thoughts mwah

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wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i · 2 years

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🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

🐖 A tiktok that really resonated with me this week and why 🐖

🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

So, since I've been sharing a lot of traumatic memories lately, I'm posting a few funny memories. The first has to do with this TikTok.

I'm not a teacher, but I've been a nanny for like three and a half years and worked with kids from all walks of life of varying neurodivergence. And none of the kids I've ever cared for have been my nemesis. I really don't believe in difficult or bad kids. But WHEN I TELL YOU IVE HAD KIDS WHO TRIED TF OUT OF MY PATIENCE 😂😂😂

One time, it was like 9 am and I had been babysitting an 8 year old girl, P, and a 9 year old boy, G, since 7 am. There were still like six hours left to go. P was working on crafts (she was a big craft girly and at 11, she still is lmao), and G was playing video games.

G was on the spectrum, and honestly one of the most hilarious kids I've ever worked with. He also made me start wondering if IM on the spectrum, to be entirely honest. I really loved this kid despite how often he tried my patience 😂 it was hard to get mad at him because his actions were always just so freaking funny.

Anyways, I hated him sitting by himself playing video games all day. So I'd try to play the games with him (this is how I learned to play call of duty and Fortnite as well as Minecraft---I only do Minecraft well. The other two, I honestly think he just liked playing with me because I was so comically terrible at the entire premise of either game). At one point, I got up after an hour of being positioned in various places by him, only to be shot immediately afterward in Call of Duty to go check on P.

She's still crafting. G gets up too and he's like what craft do we have today. He hates crafting and no amount of adjusting it to his interests would make him like it. So I was pretty surprised he asked. I told him and he sat down to work on it.

NOT TWO SECONDS IN, he goes "what if I poured this entire glass of water on this like what would happen" 😭😭😭😭😭 I was like please don't

And he goes gah okay

And then he stands up and truly by accident spills it and he's like, "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" And I facepalm and his sister is like Oh, come on! She said not to pour it!

So, logically I'm like, "G, here's a towel to wipe it up." And so instead of wiping the table down, he just goes, "Okay but what if I poured this out too like this one already spilled" and before I can even think to respond, he pours a glass of paint water onto the table.

And I can't even get mad because in the same instant that he pours it, I can see the thought process very quickly finally add up on his face as he connects the very clearly bad idea he engaged in and the consequences of said action, and he starts screaming, "WHY DID I DO THAT WHAT DID I THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN" And so he's like screaming and trying to scoot the water back into the cup with his hands but instead of it going into the cup, he just spreads it around 😂😂😂 and like half of it drenched the floor, while the towel literally sitting there, dry and waiting.

And honestly, all I could do was watch. I was just in tears from laughing so hard. I was like G don't worry about it. You're not in trouble just....that's what happens when you pour a cup of water onto a table. Please don't do it again. And I will say this: he never did that again.

But he also had a talent for just doing the most insane walking shitpost antics I've ever seen.

My personal favorite was when he said, "What would happen if I ran my head into the door" and I was like bestie for the love of god

And he just goes at it 😭😂😂😂 like full force and knocks himself off his feet. And im like Jesus! Are you okay?

And he's like yeah!! And DOES IT AGAIN.

I told his mom about it on the way back to my house and she was like, "This is going to sound really really sad, but I remember wondering the exact same thing at his age and doing it the exact same way" 😂😂😂

My first day babysitting them, G threw a fucking ROACH on me and he was like "THINK FAST" and I just flicked it off my arm and I was like "Is that supposed to scare me? Come on. You can do better than that."

I earned his respect that day 😂😂 I'm the queen of delayed reactions with everything from trauma to happy news to having bugs thrown at me. So I just reacted first and gagged later when he walked back inside, stewing over this reaction (apparently no other babysitter reacted like that LMAO).

Anyway, so yeah, that TikTok brought back memories 😂😂

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