calamitys-child

[calamitys-child]

men love to be held by the scruff of the neck btw

[calamitys-child]

Pros of skate practice: fun! Play with friends! Learn new skill get to watch yourself improve! Wheeeee!

Cons of skate practice: Every Muscle In My Body Will Be Out Of Commission For The Next 1-3 Working Days Please Call Again Later Oh God

#i did SO good yesterday i had so much fun i learned how to turn round quick and i got to go backwards a bit #and we did games of tag and it was so fun! #i need a full body massage 3hrs in a jacuzzi and a joint everything hurts so much!!!

[calamitys-child]

Nurse giving me report on a patient: and by the way so you’re not caught off guard, he has a tattoo that says “confident fag” on his chest

Me, a confident dyke: haha nice

The nurse: what?

Me: sorry I’m also gay and think that tattoo rules

The nurse: ????????

Me:

Me remembering I don’t hear so good: what did you say the tattoo was?

The nurse: a confederate flag

Me: OH NO WAIT OOPS

[calamitys-child]

[calamitys-child]

u r qualified and competent for the position. they will email u back SO soon

Thank u I am hoping and praying

[calamitys-child]

The Dyke Project manifesto printed on the back of estradiol and testogel boxes

[calamitys-child]

Remember when people got mad at me when I said “if you can’t even name 10 trans men activists from the 1980s-2010s I don’t think any of your takes about trans men and our experiences have any value imo. Especially if you aren’t a trans man.” And then people got mad at me?? Like damn sorry I expect people to know a little history before they talk about a group of people .

[calamitys-child]

extremely weird to think about the fact that the internet is a collection of physical objects, like, if i send a message to a person on another continent, there's a continuous physical path that each packet followed between each of our routers and it probably passes through an undersea cable which doesn't feel like something that should be real how did people manage that

[calamitys-child]

a stud in black leather on a black motorcycle just revved their engine at me and thank god I tore my demonic uterus out ages ago because I think that would have finally knocked me up

[calamitys-child]

Submitted by @sky-the-snail-fanatic

#i knowa fair few german songs at least passably #most obviously 99 luftballons but i also listen to die toten hosen and zsk enough to sing along to some stuff

[calamitys-child]

#submitted application a week ago praying desperately

[calamitys-child]

[calamitys-child]

[calamitys-child]

[calamitys-child]

[calamitys-child]

[calamitys-child]