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iisowks · 3 months

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bbg….imagine-teen mommy! reader who works with PM dazai and through a LOT of drama he finds out he’s the father (drama💗) you decide the rest~ or!! Another idea!! Idea no 2; chuuya finds out its dazais kid. ((Smut or no smut idk))

PM! Dazai… and chuuya x Pregnant teen! Reader

Warnings: it can be a trigger for some people, mentions of suicide, mention of alcohol, mention of sex, suggestive but not smut detailed, it ends bad so yeah, and kind of cheating too.

Note: Heyyy so i don’t know what i did so i just did an like PLUS CHUUYA or sum but i guess it’s ok even tho i hated :3, but i really hope you like! and yes i think i’ll do an part two where Y/N finds him when they’re adults!

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you joined the mafia very young but already a teenager, you don't actually like to be there but you had no choice or where to go. When you joined you didn't want to be with anyone and you didn't actually wanted to have friends, but two teenagers around your age did NOT leave you alone, and you enjoyed it after some time! you felt less lonely.

but then things got complicated. After some time, you catched yourself attracted to Dazai, even though you knew he wasn't the best person to be with, and you denied for a long time until one day Dazai was at your door, drunk.

“heyyy Y/N, i missed you!” dazai said with a messy voice… “Dazai, what the fuck? it 's 2 AM!” you said quite angry at him, but you took him in and gave him water, trying to make him sober, “Dazai, you really shouldn't be drinking that much.” you said worried about him, after all you guys were just teenagers. “and what? were all fucked up, it wont change anything! That's why I came here, I want to experience something before I die and you can help me with that, darling.”

you knew what was he talking about even tho your thoughts are saying not to do it because youre a fucking teenager, you wanted to. “Dazai, i don’t think we should-” “shut up.” right after that he kissed you… and you didn't stop him, i mean, who would 🧍‍♀️

Well you guys had sex, and you didn't know how to react at first… when you woke up he was gone, and that confused you, but you still wanted to talk to him.

After some time you guys became very close and sex became something normal for you two, until one day you two argued about something very silly but you were so done with him that you just walked away just like he did!

well you were walking through the city when you had the thought of drinking something, and since you were from mafia, almost no one questioned your age.

Well it was your first time drinking so you didnt knew what to ask for thats when you saw your friend Chuuya, “Chuuya! hi!” you said happy to see someone you could talk to. “oh, Y/N…” Chuuya said quite… normal? “do you mind helping me? i dont know what do drink…” “its your first time drinking alcohol?”

the night passed really fast, it was already like 1 AM and you and Chuuya were definetly drunk, “hey Chuu, can we have sex?” Chuuya frozed “huh? i thought you were with that morron” “well im not dating him!” Chuuya hesitated, but he was too drunk to have filter. “i… i guess then it’s okay?” you kissed him almost immediatly, you needed that because you were still feeling bad because of Dazai… and you know he probably did the same and that fucking hurted you.

well you woke up in your bed but no Chuuya, so you thought ‘oh thank god it was dream haha’ until you saw a note of Chuuya saying he should have stayed until you woked up but he didnt want to make you uncomfortable, in that moment you thought of suicide.

You simply pretended that nothing happened and prayed for Chuuya to do that too. Well you ignored everyone in the mafia for 2 weeks, until one day you just didn't feel well and runned away from mafia because mori would never let you go earlier, well you had your suspicions you were pregnant and you were going to do the test anyway.

When the test was positive you panicked, you were 16 and now pregnant?! you just wanted to die, but now you had to discover who’s the dad, and you don’t think Dazai would be happy with something like this. You were scared, but you thought it was better to let Chuuya know, since he was the last person you had a sexual relation.

You used protection with both. so one of them just didn’t work or something, you couldn’t think about any other reason but now the problem is not even that, is that you were pregnant with one of those man’s baby.

Well, Chuuya’s reaction was kind of… not good, and you understand that since you both were teenagers and definitely not ready to have a baby, but you also told him that could be Dazai, in the end he just accompanied you to do the test to see who is the father of the baby.

Well, now you have to wait, both of you, because Dazai has no clue what is happening and he probably thinks you still hate him. You were almost dying to know who the father was but part of you didn’t want to be Dazai because you don’t know how he would react.

A call, the attendant started to talk… after a time you just asked for her to say who was, when she said, you hung up and started crying immediately.

“Chuuya, thank you for the help, but i have to tranquilize you. You are not the father.” Chuuya was incredibly silent. “Be careful, Y/N.” That's all he said.

You lefted immediately to look for Dazai, you tried all the places you could, he was in none of them.

“Mori, hello.” It was your last chance. “Y/N, can i know why you are here after disappearing for 4 weeks?” “I just wanted to ask you if you know where Dazai is.” “Dazai is no longer a part of the mafia, miss Y/N.” “what?..” “he lefted.”

You ran. You ran the fastest that you could… you hated him, you hated him so much even though he doesn't even know you’re carrying his baby.

I guess until you meet him again.

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#bungou stray dogs #x reader #bsd x reader #dazai osamu #chuuya x reader #light angst #dazai x reader #bsd #iisowks

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misqnon · 12 days

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sanji and pudding are cute together as completely platonic friends.. like he is a good FRIEND for her. i think she just needs someone in her life who isnt going to ridicule her for her eye and . like. fully accepts her. and that is who sanji is.

i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions. i know its realistic to have kids crush on older people,, and i think its interesting to portray that as long as the adult isnt being creepy and weird. like u can have an adult that is accepting of the kid who's crushing on them. and the adult is also like "this is never going to happen. u should find someone your own age, that would be healthier". it is inherently pretty uncomfortable to have a kid crush on you i would assume, but they could still have a healthy relationship

i also want all the straw hats there!! i dont think i'll be satisfied if they arent all there..

THATS OK IT WAS STILL INTERESTING!!

this is so funny, i actually watched that video a while ago (passively. as in i was actually trying to sleep and also listen at the same time). but YEAH i think he is so right... the charm .. the something that zoro has. is not there. thank GOD i didnt miss the fuck...

NOT THE MAD WORLD REFERENCE

oh for sure the like 3 layers of translating is probably a big reason for the awkwardness. i (personally) think he has autistic energy outside of that one interview (i think i was kinda unclear which is why i am . bringing it back up) but . ofc. i am not going to diagnose a man I dont know anything about LOL

no shame in this household!!!! there is already plenty to go around

VERY ASEXUAL FRIENDS SEEING UR HORNY POSTING.... SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. my very asexual friend does not use social media thank god. i .. i could never let her see me like this ... for her own sake..

u also forgor ur gender for a bit thats so funny..

im very thankful there are at least a FEW nsfw questions about men in the sbs... equality!! but we must strive for equity.. sexualize the men 3x more /hj

i have a friend who knows a bit of japanese but i always feel so bad relying on ppl who know other languages LOL. like.. im sorry ... our friendship means so much more to me than ur job as my translator sometimes... but i think the foreign fans use a translator app, bc im pretty sure oda has said the wording is wonky because of the translator

ive seen a bit of trixie and katya!! im at least familiar with who they are. at my highschool (that i went to for only the last two years i was in school) we had some drag queens come to school for a show.. it was interesting. i had never seen drag in person. and then we also had a drag show with students which wasnt as involved

"for legal reasons (haha get it)" LOL

perfect representation of a sanji courtroom. since u are sanji magistrate ur word is law. literally.

oda can have credit .. as a treat.

it IS compelling tbh but it's. as u kinda said. its mostly just mentioned briefly and then not brought back up. i do NOT want to see it come to fruition.... if they killed each other.... me next

"I WOULD LIKE CROSS GUILD AS A POLY SHIP MORE IF IT DIDNT FEEL MEAN WITH HOW OFTEN THEY BEAT UP ON BUGGY AND ALSO BC I THINK BUGGY BELONGS WITH MR. RED HAIR." YEAH EXACTLY!!!!! i too love a one sided ship. shuggy angst is literally so good.. wait til u catch up theres a . theres a moment. theres a shuggy moment that is SO angsty. they have so many problems they should just kiss and that would solve everything!

"OH NO BRO….HANNYAGELLAN…ITS HAPPENING…"

i also heard abt the falling down the stairs meaning suicide thing, but i only heard abt it super recently. ur right she wouldnt have done that!! she was finally feeling like. things were looking up . because of zoro!! he helped her feel better!! n then she died. i agree that he probably sees a promise as an ironclad thing. he would literally die for a promise he made. he definitely isnt stupid either, and is generally pretty untrusting of new people

SHARING FANFIC U WROTE???? :D

"Dreams. Ambitions. Drive. Do what that day stole from Kuina. Defeat Dracule Mihawk. Become the world’s greatest swordsman- for both of them." i love this part

"This isn’t a good sign for his current navigational endeavors." HE GOT LOST..... that made me laugh

"Kuina. He doesn’t think of her as often as some might think. He doesn’t dwell on the past, only reflects on it." accurate for zoro!!!!

i feel sad for him :( he sounds a bit. regretful? is that a word.. thnk u for sharing i lov .. i love .. when ppl share their art with me.. thank u..

"but do i ever actually make those things….no. i do not" psh... typical..... /lh

oh boy im so excited to take ibuprofen with u!!!!

"its just. SO COOL!!!! TO SEE PEOPLE ACT WITH SUCH PASSION AND PORTRAY EPIC STORIES..RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! LIVE!!" YOU GET IT!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!! NO ONE EVER GETS IT ... U GET IT!!!

yes u got me i like sanji now 😔😔😔😔😔 congrats on converting me😮‍💨 /lh. ill send u another 4kids sanji video to get back at u for this *shakes my fist in rage*

i love seonghwa!!! (obviously!!! since im ot8 !!!)

THE LAW PUN... I DINDT NOTICE AT FIRST .... im so glad u have the hawaiian shirt comic saved. i have multiple pictures of him saved and i refuse to delete them despite my phone storage being rly low.. and im not doing anything with them. im just attached.

look at how much i talk about him... im normal . its only been a month and a half since i restarted one piece and i hadnt talked abt him at all before that.. im normal.

ok my law thought s are.. well the most recent thought . was actually. uh.

yeah this was a normal thought. for sure.

this was the thought that led to that .

i just think u could have a lotta fun with his powers. outside of making abstract art. i want to know what its like to be law . in body. he is tall. and like. i would be able to teleport himself and other things.. which is a big thing when u can't get enough energy to get out of bed. and i have food allergies so i could eat whatever i want.. and i wouldnt have periods... i would automatically be stronger bc he has muscles. yeah.. i wish i could experience all that.

and that is all for now bc i think those r ...intense.. thoughts... to have... or maybe they arent, i dont really have an understanding of what is normal

"i wonder if it relates to his backstory and the possible trans-ness of it?" i was kinda thinking this too.. or like maybe it had something to do with his childhood or something. idk. croc backstory when!!

"he’s after freedom and what use is it if u destory the freedom of others while searching for it for yourself?" YEAH!!! U WORDED IT WELL,,

"HIS 4DUB VOICE PAINS ME PHYSICALLY" *sends another video* (i am actually going to do this but i was planning to anyways so dont feel pressured to watch it or respond LOL)

"i have a playlist where i put my fav one piece shits."

D:!!

crying, sobbing at the fact u know abt nika

ok honestly if it was just a bug collection... that would be so cute ... the one piece was the bugs we met along the way

"so i think it might be related to…joyboy/nika/ the SUN…i think maybe its like a. a hat maybe. thats my guess. sun hat. from the original joy boy. its not a good guess but its all i HAVe"

take this how u will

bartolomeo... maybe he is called the cannibal bc he has big teeth... or maybe its his name from when he was beating ppl up all the time as a .. gang leader? or whatever he was? maybe he "cannibalized" other groups??

end of the e-letter is for memes now

very very true. when she was sobbing after i left i actually felt so so bad for her ;-; like someone PLEASE get her out of there!! god SAME FOR REIJU. sanji got to escape but reiju and pudding are both stuck with their respective shit abusive families…it sucks. i hope we get to see both of them doing better by the end of the series!!

“i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions.” YEA I MADE A POST ABOUT THIS (i think i accidentally queued it) BUT. YEA I DOUBT HE DOES 🙃 looks at shirahoshi. looks at rebecca

ITS A MAAAAAD WOROORORRLDLDL

also nodding my head no problem i got what u meant about inaki

UR RIGHT NO SHAME….PUTS MY YAOI PROUDLY ON THE FRIDGE

i still need to finish the opla video. i watch it while i eat lmao

OKAY HE HASNT MENTIONED IT SO I HOPE HE JUST DIDNT SEE IT OR. WILL NEVER BRING IT UP. its funny u say that tho bc my OTHER ace friend very supportively read this vampire zosan fic i wrote and they’re in their own words like violently ace and also sex repulsed and i WARNED THEM that there was a sex scene in that chapter i WROTE A CHAPTER NOTE AT THE BEGINNING WARNING SO and they STILL accidentally read it and texted me SO CONFUSED AND THEN EMBARASSED THEY WERE LIKE “its hot in the room?? wait i dont get it?? 🤨 - WAIT. OH NO-” funniest shit ive ever seen in my life. literally “hey. be careful dont look at that.” “huh? [staring blindly at sun]

actually every nsfw sbs question asked about the men was me. it was all me. next i will be asking the size of katakur- [gunshots]

KJSBDKJ I HAVE TWO FRIENDS THAT SPEAK FRENCH (ONE A NATIVE SPEAKER AND ONE WHO MAJORED IN IT AND NOW LIVES IN FRANCE. WITH THE OTHER FRENCH FRIEND) and when writing scenes where sanji spoke french i was too embarrassed to ask either of them for help but they bullied me into letting them help 😭😭😭 so i feel u so hard 😭😭😭

and ur right, i actually just read a chapter where someone did that from vietnam i believe (they used a machine translator)

i love drag sm!! u made me remember how much i liked it and i watched some more drag clips yesterday lmao.

okay in terms of the death pact thing i feel like oda drops those things and always comes back to them…i DONT WANT THEM TO FIGHT EITHER BUT ALSO I SOOOO DO. kinda like how reading whole cake island ws painful for me but also i loved it. but i will need to wait a bit before reading it again. i dont think theyre gonna kill each other tho. i think itll be a moment that brings them to a better understanding of each other/their relationship. i dont mean that in a zosan way just literally in canon as crewmates. and i think it will be JUICY bc those bitches have been bickering for over 20 years…and then finally theres a big ultimate final zoro vs sanji battle like dudebros always clamor about. i want to see a setup where they’re forced to face the fact that they dont get along but still care for each other but also what to do when faced with a choice like that against someone you hate but also care for. and what zoro will do. bc i genuinely have a feeling zoro will fight him to the fucking end but not kill him when it comes down to it. even though zoro keeps promises like they’re oaths…so. i think it may be an outside element that stops the Murder from occuring. zoro may or may not actually attempt it KDSNC. its so fun to think about to me. im so ready

shuggy moment? 👁️i know oda would not make any gay ship canon (probably most ships tbh) but why does shuggy feel like one of the most likely to me. in a weird way. KADJNFVDK. you know how in the og visual novel for clannad the “bad end” was a gay ending with your male best friend. that is canon shuggy to me. oda doing it kinda halfheartedly in a roundabout way for laughs but the fandom is popping bottles (we popping the BIGGEST bottles when shuggy happens tomorrow-)

on zoro and promises and etc etc…do u think zoro will get more development of him as a character by the end of the story? zoro is a character that’s beautiful in his simplicity but sometimes i want to know him more you know?? he’s kinda mysterious in a closed off way even tho we know what he’s about and. i wanna know more abt him. put him in more fucked up situations. i wanna see zoro suffer in a way that isnt just a tough battle.

im glad u liked it !! :D thank u!!

HAHAHAHA SANJI CONVERT !!! LET’S SEXUALIZE THAT BLONDE MAN ‼️(priorities 🫡) (the 4kids sanji video will get back at me. it will. i will suffer but i will do it.)

i have so many random op images saved in my phone…not to mention my laptop’s screenshot folder…WAIT THAT REMINDS ME JFDBVSJD i have an internship at an art gallery and i need a laptop for the job so i use my own but its my personal laptop.. and once i had to test a powerpoint but i dont have word so i had to use my personal google slides account and WHILE CONNECTED to a GIANT PROJECTOR…THIS briefly flashed on the screen before i frantically clicked away. no one saw but i. i did. (for reference this was for pwp night. and i have still nbot finished it)

i dont talk about sanji in my friend discord server bc None Of Them Watch One Piece but in my dms with my other op friend…let’s look.

on god

this is from both of us together. BUT STILL

(nodding) no go on what animal parts

law’s powers are SO fun. i wish he switched ppls bodies more often!! its such a fun trope its such a guilty pleasure for me!! also room is just. such a cool ability. i love teleportation characters (thinks about nightcrawler from xmen…my blue king). also THAT LAW COMIC I MENTIONED U IN THE TAGS. JHFVBDKAS THE FOURTH PANEL WHERE ITS JSUT THE SEA CREATURES AND HIS DEAD FACE DOING THE ROOM POSE GETS ME EVERY DAMN TIME

is law tall?? i guess he just seems short in comparison to like. doffy. (looks it up) DAMN THIS BITCH IS 6’3???

also funny law story i just remembered. sometimes i sell my art at gay art markets. and one time. at a halloween themed one. there was . this random law cosplayer. which yea its halloween thats a costume but for future reference i want to be clear this was like the only anime cosplay. everyone else was like cartoons or monsters or fairies or cats or some shit. well the law cosplayer is set up right across from me and i had JUST started my one piece hyperfixation so i was Extra Crazy abt it and i was literally flipping out so nervous but excited so i dragged myself over and was like “omg…hi…i love ur law cosplay….i just got into op and i havent met him yet but i see him everywhere…” and they were super nice!! but then. later. i go visit my friend’s booth. and . the ONLY other anime cosplay at the entire event…WAS A SECOND TRAFALGAR LAW. STANDING AT MY FRIEND’S BOOTH. I WAS LIKE ??? anyway i pointed them towards each other after fangirling for a hot moment and they took a pic together. it was very fun

ur thoughts are not intense or strange…well maybe they are strange to others but i am also insane. i promise. i love ur insane thoughts pls continue to share. i will do the same someday when i am less shy and ashamed of my unhinged fandom thoughts (such as making zoro amvs to abba in my head on the way to therapy. <- things that should be in the dsm-5 as a criteria. ps. thats a line my therapist actually said in response to something i did once. lmao)

did u notice that in the opla…they have all the characters who were at rogers execution there as their younger selves (mihawk, shanks,etc) AND THERE’S A AFAB PERSON WHO’S DRESSED SUSPIOCIOUSLY LIKE CROCODILE…I WAS LIKE OH SHIT)

i am going to watch the next 4kidd dub video. i will do it for you. (losing years off my life each time)

WOOPS THE PLAYLIST WAS PRIVATE try it now. if you watch any one video from that list. and this one is short. please make it this one. I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME

OH ALSO. APPARENTLY AT COACHELLA. THAT MIKU PERFORMANCE WAS *ALSO* A TV SCREEN. ISNT THAT SAD. PATHETIC!!

lmao. i was talking to my caught up friend about op spoilers today and he wouldnt confirm or deny so many things i said. lmao. rofl, even

“take this how u will” IM SCARED

end of the e letter IS for memes now you’re so correct

p.s…i know discord is a Le PooPooHead esp recently BUT if you want to add me my username is the same as it is here!! feel free but no pressure

#asks #replies #march anon #long post #i had to hold back so many sanji memes. god why is he all over my camera roll. he is like a piece of gum i stepped in.#[scene from the spongebob movie where spongebob thinks plankton is some gum and scrapes him off against the road]

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yourwolfmuzzle · 1 year

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This episode was...not okay.

I have so many problems with a lot of thing in this episode, but i kinda dont want just rant there too much (i get back into tumblr to post my stuff and not for this?? :”D).

I rewatch this episode multiple times and i still thinking that this episode is “shock content for shock content (and fanservice because OH BOI WE NEED ONE TO MAKE VOLUME 10 HAPPENS) because people love edgy drama” and again im love edgy dark bloody stuff but this was mine “hello wtf and why”. I love my dark stories and i love when characters falls for one reason and another. This is no about “never do this” its about “you can do better and not just shock stuff”.

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Listen. Its hard to trigger me with blood or with killing someone. But for a love of god, WHY not put AT LEAST “contains suicidal themes”? You didnt spoiler anything (especially since episode already did You already did stuff like this in volume 8 with Penny! EVEN if you dont think that because “oh she still alive and tree will bring her back” - Rudy is still pretty suicidal with this whole “i dont want to be me anymore” and she did “drink forever tea”.

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No matter if the tree will make “a new person” (just hardcore reset, dead, that on paper sound unique ngl - but again, you can do this without suicide), reset her depression into “oh wow i want to fight again! C:” (no development into Ruby emotions which is very sad because it was one of the most interesting parts of this season for me) or bring her back to home (...gen:lock s2, when everybody basicly “dissolved themself” to safe the world, but there is “do this to yourself so you can fix one of the problems!”) or even evil!Rudy (which is..sound like a cool idea for me personally, but you can do this without commit “tea party” u know?) or EVEN Summer Rose transformation (...YEAH UH THANK NO?) - this whole episode left a bad taste in my mouth.

Was wishing to see how Rudy can “fall so low and painfully and then get up slowly to keep fighting” or “run away from problems and everyone, reaching the lowest point, but stand up again”. By “falling so low” i didnt mean “metaphorical suicide for good thing” for fuck sake!

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Also pls can people stop use excuse “they are shocked!”, there was 20+ seconds after they got in Neo house and all they did was stand a little closer to her and watch her drink tea with NEO NEAR THEM. This is not the first time when “they was in shock” was using for argument. I dont even ask them to success to help Rudy, but they didnt even try to do something, and that make this whole episode even worst. (i have a small theory that in first drafts they were not in this scene or WAS but after Rudy “fall”. But because they want to make this dramatic, like OHH SHE DID THIS INFRON OF HER TEAM OHHHHH they decide to put them in the final script and didnt have time to polish this idea? Or they will use “bu-but this is animation error!” again?)

And i will not talk about Yang stuff, all this “she dont know/have hard time to real emotions” please did people sleep volume 4 with volume 3 ending? You tell me that after she was in depression she didnt “tried to compare” why Rudy didnt talk to her?

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Do u just love, when you think antagonist, who in series for pretty long time (even if we will not count volumes, whe she was “dead”) who was just assistant for other bad guys, finally will be main villain...only to find out that ACTUALLY she is not main evil girl - but this brand new character who is TWISTED VILLAIN? I know, there is still a chance that evil!Rudy can happens and she will be kinda main “bad guy” for final episodes but...yeah. I didnt think they will have “gray morally character” because they have REALLY hard time to write one like this

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I guess the only thing i did like-like is “the fanservice” with characters, who i love to see again but its impossible because...they dead or in real world (or they can be there, but not because Neo semblance, but this is absolutely different script...), or characters who dont even have maya models. Like...i will not lie, okay? I lost my SHIT when i saw spoilers because OHOHOH ROMAN OHOHOH PYRRHA OHOHOH CLOVER AND IRONWOOD AND A LITTLE BIT OZPIN (i know we already saw his maya model, but he was active only in openings). Like good for uuuu using characters who is not longer there to make fanservice (even know...there is no reasons for Lionheart and Clover to be there outside of...symbolism maybe? Also NOOO dont transform Clover into Qrow, whyyyyy pain again). Wish that what Ironwood said was something, that main cast finally (or writers) analyse more, because rn i feel like its will be “Oh its was Neo manipulate Rudy AND Ironwood was a baaad guy, so who cares?”. Like the fact that Rudy shout at Little and then was aggressive with Neo-Roman. Absolutely love the beginning of the scene where Rudy “Im sorry, i dont want to be me anymore” and Curious Cat starts to calm her down. For a seconds i was hoping there will be calming scene after such a breakdown. Something soft. But oh well, only in my dreams.

#rwde #tw suicide #tw suicide mention #WFM.txt

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scoutsbiggestfan · 2 years

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ok bc people noticed my other post heres some more yay!!! im gonna try to make this more organized, i typed the other post on my phone so it was a little messy.

reminder some of this is shipping stuff. theres also gonna be some serious topics in here ...

CONTENT WARNING!!!!!! tw for substance abuse, eds, talk of dysphoria (idk if i need to tw that but im gonna just in case,!!), self harm

- all of the mercs are autistic and queer in some way. half of them are trans too heres my hcs for that... plus some other stuff ! - scout: trans (ftm) bi, autistic, adhd, dyslexic. he/him. ! - soldier: pan, autistic. he/him. ! - pyro: bi, nonbinary, aroace, autistic, adhd. he/she/they/it. ! - demoman: gay, autistic, adhd. he/they. ! - heavy: gay, ace, autistic. he/they. ! - engineer: pan, nonbinary, ace, autistic. he/she. ! - medic: bi, aroaceflux, autistic, ocd. any. ! - sniper: gay, ace, autistic. he/they. ! - spy: bi (pref for women), transfem, autistic, ASPD. he/she/they.

- talking about spy woo!! i feel like spy would have ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) but she does know about it and medic helps him and acts like a therapist if needed :D!

- (tw for substance abuse) because of spys ASPD for a while they were dependent on alcohol. i feel like it played a part in his relationship with scouts ma and he reacted to “this is very bad for her and [scout]” by leaving them without saying anything. i think that she really wishes the best for the two and means no hard feelings against either of them

- (tw for eds) i feel like that with snipers antisocial behavior and autism he gained a lot of anxiety, self doubt, and suicidal thoughts and behaviors. for a while he was almost completely dependent on the bare minimum (coffee and a few snacks every so often, probably) and didnt even really realize how destructive it was until medic pointed some of his behaviors out to him (privately, of course).

- (tw for dysphoria, self harm) scouts dysphoria was really bad for the longest time. i feel like he had no idea how to cope with it well, so he ended up self harming as a way to cope. he ended up using art as a way to cope instead, but he def got his surgeries done by medic.

- speaking of his surgeries, scout very much so appreciates the fact that medic did the surgeries for him. it may not look or sound like it but he is so glad medic offered to do it because it was one of the happiest days of his life

sorry for all the serious stuff... lets get a bit more lighthearted!! this is ship stuff x3

- ok for bushmedicine i feel like sniper did a lot of opening up so medic learned a lot of new things about him very slowly, but he LOVES every new thing he learns. like "oh, sniper just mentioned a favorite animal? thank you for telling me i will never forget it"

- engiespy... this is more of an idea i came up with, but i feel like engie confessed first, and spy was absolutely mind BLOWN that he had no idea how to respond and for once was just. shocked. and engie took it badly so then he felt really bad, and apologized... but he slowly realized he has feelings back, so he started hanging out with engie more (just checking in on him and seeing what hes working on) that eventually he just. told engie. who was super excited!!! (then they totally made out)

- sniperspy? hell yeah!! i feel like spy would be “totally shocked” that he likes this rugged, piss throwing, bushman. but yes he does love him... at finds him very attractive... which is new for him but he doesnt mind it because snipers hot ok. she would fight for him. sniper on the other hand was just? he just found spy super attractive, like “holy shit thats really hot, shes really fucking hot” but didnt say anything until spy said something first (because she was tired of waiting...)

- sniperscout?? yuppppppppppppp!!! sniper doesnt come around a lot on the days off, so scout took that as an opportunity to talk to him about stories hes already told the others. sniper (surprisingly) enjoys listening to him ramble, so scout comes coming around more often, and they just slowly grow closer. very opposites attract trope but i love it

#team fortress 2 #spy tf2 #sniper tf2 #engineer tf2 #scout tf2 #medic tf2 #pyro tf2 #heavy tf2 #demoman tf2 #soldier tf2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 #i hope some of these are okay... ik they are pretty serious topics #queer #lgbtq #trans #scoutsbiggestfan hcs

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wangfy · 21 days

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i know my parents are tired of me.

and why? ive been sent to the mental hospital three times. first time was october 2023, i took a lot of pills for attention really... i was addicted to popping pills sadly. parents didnt really care. second time was january 2024, suicide attempt after my parents took away my phone (which was my only comfort at the time while i was hurting myself). february 2024 was my third time, i had a panic attack due to my past sexual abuse. told my parents about it for the first time... it went well but then my stepdad said what i was always afraid that my mother would say. "it happens to most women, youre not the only one." is it true? yes. but that's not what someone wants to hear. it made me feel as though what i expressed wasnt important as it "happened to others too". i dont feel alive. i want to harm myself everyday. i dont want to wake up. i want to die. i hate myself. i lie to others about my self-confidence. no, i dont like my hair. no, i dont like my eyes. it's a lie. i say it so i dont seem weak. whenever i get compliments, i feel everything bursting inside of me. i want to cry of happiness. like, you think im pretty? really? i find it so shocking, but i accept it simply as a "thank you". i never want to do anything fun. "let's go to the arcade!" and all of my siblings agree. i hate the arcade. i hate everything but reading. writing used to be my passion but now thats fading too. the only thing im proud of are my grades. it's the only thing that proves im still here. im still myself. i laugh about the way my mother used to punch me in my stomach when she was upset. or when she hit me when tv cords. but truly it hurts me to my soul that she did that. its either i die or someone else does. i cannot control myself anymore, at least not for long. ive lost my passion. my love. my everything. im not even sure i want to go to college anymore. funny that im saying all of this yet if my grade drops below an A ill go crazy. though, miss liz (my therapist) isnt wrong. if i really didnt care about my life i'd just let myself fail, like i did freshman year. im sorry. really. my parents have to deal with the death of their child. my siblings dealing with the death of their sister. i need serious help, but getting that help will make me even more of a black sheep than i already am. i hate myself for being this way. why cant i just be normal?

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suiciderape · 8 months

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𝔯𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔬! 𝔰𝔲𝔦𝔠𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔯𝔞𝔭𝔢 𝔱𝔬𝔱𝔞𝔩 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔰𝔥 𝔩𝔞𝔳𝔞 & 𝔨𝔫𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔰

ew! ur ghetto hahaha no ok so what is going on with content creators? were getting nowhere srsly we are! i cant even tell what my readers are doing bc i literally got locked out of my own content on tumblr by an evil viewer i got stuck on the first post at go home! potter! and then voldemort literally killed me yes!! i did the whole fucking awkward acting scene and my daddy yoon keeho insists it was a dream well since we are on neptune i am going to believe him but why would someone read my tumblr and lock me out?? its my content i need to make sure the ppl who actually want to read are ok! be careful guys! i still dont want to read my posts anymore and its part of my job as a manga writer ew! i hope they get arrested and the death eater i called finds them unwell

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖇𝖔𝖞𝖘

ew! cigarettes are so fucking nasty these days yes still no word on lolita but voldemort is her murderer i cant even get high anymore bc no one is being cool and cigarettes make my body melt down to a rice paper i just want to party and write at the same time im in a new manga about my kpop idol daddys and it was a russian mafia secret we are sworn to secrecy to never repeat it ok so basically it was a miley cyrus movie hannah montanna extroidaniare it caused me so much physical pain that im surprised i havent killed myself sk sui shordy 9 style im gonna drown in a vault of my own despair this shit is nasty as hell i cant even get anyone to help me put decent furniture into the ghetto trapped room i inhabit i cant believe i got ghetto trapped and that the magees are now registered sex offenders hahaha ew she fucked up going chinese slave master 99k with me!! and i still have to talk to that fuck ass lawyer whatever at least this new manga is slowly progressing

𝖑𝖆𝖛𝖆 & 𝖐𝖓𝖎𝖛𝖊𝖘

ew! ur so fucking ghetto bitchs omfg end this joke already pls daddy awkward! hahaha she doesnt even like saying that were gonna end the joke chinese slave master 99k style but pls dont forget shes a special interest trained assasin in the russian mafia before u ask us how long she free style battled voldemort on the russian training grounds ew! it fucking hurts for all my bones to be broken oreos impressions baad girls in lovee! lol what the fuck was that asian man doing delivering mcdonalds? whaat the fuck bitch that is rudee! ew+ she said cutee too! no i didnt dude ok so he was mad at her for getting up and she was mad at him for making her get up so we forced ourselves to duel! wait whaat? ok so no duel took place? wait am i high? yes u are? pls explaind what indica meth is?? does it feel good baby girl? yes it does daddy mhm mhm mhm hmm lol ok? so good job faggots! of faggot rain rice paper candy hard candy alice rain nemmm hmm yes nem ok so ho hommmm what?

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖈𝖎𝖌𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖘𝖔𝖉𝖆 𝖌𝖆𝖓𝖌

plus im high as fuck! ew hahaha i missed u i missed u too bb :( its so boring and i cant find sissyboiqt aw! well its ok we like ur playlists thank u lol whose this one made by? sprawl wait isnt that sissyboiqts brother? i guess so lol aw [* ok well fuck off dude! what was the number? 3* ew ur ghetto grunge! grunge! grunge! ew hahaha thats better than 808s heartbreak? yas ew! hahaha omg ur so fucking sexy now show everyone what the suicide boys made u cool ok? s0 u miss austin tx finally? yea well they said they miss me for once omg ok well what if they dont? actually miss u? its cool ill live somewhere else? idk man its cool but i dont drink or have a car so i need help plus im schizoaffective omg u are ok so go home! potter end it end it end it hard candy alice rain hard candy alice rain hard candy alice rain

#chanhee #the boyz manga party

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ohmrcrow · 1 year

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Brithday hell thyme!!!

jokes aside, this brithday is very bittersweet for me. I don't often open up pubicly about my current state and feelings but fuck it this is my blog.

Content Warning // Suicide, Trauma, Emptiness, Loneliness, Low Self Esteem, and Gender Dysphoria

It's not only the age thing, but also everything that has happened up to this point; this very point where I'm writing this blog right now. Ik people would say everything happens for a reason, but i still question and often wish things have gone differently espcially since I'm left with scars such as trust issues, nightmares, and trauma im not going to get into.

I'm in an okay state but i still feel empty inside somehow.

I know, and have been told it's not worth chasing friendships i've lost, But i still do kinda miss them and all the postive memories i have about them. Although, It's nice not having to hear/deal with drama every single fucking day, not having a shit sleep schedule because i stayed up too late in one vc, no longer dealing with the constant thought of wanting to off myself everday and the feeling of everyone around hates me but kept me around for some reason.

It's finally nice to have some peace and clarity for once, but sometimes it gets too quite to the point i hear my own thoughts, made up senarios and sometimes even relapse into my own bad behavior. i already kinda relapse but I'm picking myself back up again.

And on top of this, i've been trying to figure out my own gender identity and even been dealing with dysphoria, and my own low self esteem.

It's difficult for me to come to terms with everything but I sorta moved on (not really, I'm still struggling with that), but every now and then i suddenly think about my whole life and everything that had happened. I know i was a very toxic person back then, my hyper activeness didnt help at all, and i made alot of terrible decisions, have done a lot of terrible shit, i've caused a lot of pain to others and was pretty much a peice of shit.

It's now my job to keep learning from my mistakes, from my poor behavior in the past, and to teach others so they don't make the same mistakes i did, or not go through the same suffering. I'm no saint, but it's the best i can do as of now.

I'm very grateful for my friends being there for me, and my family for helping me get the professional help i need. I'm also thankful for all the birthday wishes, Here's an extra doodle of me and my friend to lighten the mood since we both share the same birthday.

Anyways, i hope to whoever is reading this. I hope you have a wonderful day, evening, or night! 💕✨

#da crow talk #birthday #birthday post #also im rewatching bcs to catch up to season 6 #suicide #trauma #loneliness #gender dysphoria #< cws are for filters btw

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lawluenvy · 1 year

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one of my baby cousins is now one year older than i was when i first thought of suicide and it just... scares me so much, honestly. as soon as anyone in my family turns 12 i just think... im so sorry. i hope you're okay. i hope you do better than i did.

it just makes me realize how tiny i was when i first felt like life wasnt worth living. kids can feel things so intensely and just... we must protect them.

i see 12yos and i just am blown away by how small but so sophisticated they are. how can someone who has only been alive barely a decade already decide that their life is over? how can they already have the mental capacity to get trapped in such dark cycles and think so hard they think themselves to death and since they're young they dont know how to look past it yet. they can fall down there but they cant find their way back up.

just crazy.

and just. i wanna be there for them? i wish there was a way i could basically wear a sign on my head that says "hey you! ive been there! you might feel alone right now but you can talk to me and i promise not to judge you!" like with my brother and my sister but of course im far away and so while i might extend the invitation how much use is it really?

i just remember being so worried about my brother when i first moved out here. i kept trying to tell my mom that he needs help that no, he's not just moody and he's not just skinny and doesnt need food he has an eating disorder and he's obviously depressed but nope! just no one listens to me.

it makes me sad. i can recognize all these signs and i can say something and i'll still be ignored. no one saw what i was going through but even if someone had - would that have made a difference? would my parents have listened and gotten me therapy and meds?

just... sad.

like thank the gods he turned out okay, and seems to me mostly back on his feet. last i know of, last i saw him at least. but damn. imagine if it didnt.

just... LISTEN TO YOUR KIDS GODDAMMIT!

#arrie anecdotes #suicide #suicidal #personal #mine #text #eating disorders #eds

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jojonokimyounaboukeneyesofheaven · 2 years

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idk if ill msg u on ur bday anymore im super conflicted abt it and U in general and i dont think i like should try and get back into ur life but i also like idk i wanna check in plus like i dont want u to think im gonna forget jt or somethin so idk idk idk idk what im gonna do idk if i want to know u anymore but idk if i like can live anymore without u so idk what im even doing ahahahah

idk everything abt everything sucks i hate u but i miss u and when i think abt u i can feel my chest rotting out but i also like just continuously yearn for having u back and i like every other day am so completely suicidal that i feel like i meed to msg u just to get some sort of stability thru u back but idk if thats what i Need but i also know i am like a complete mess i have nothing but u were never going to be able to be anything to me anyways and so like

idk anything… i feel u are a lost cause but i dont want to think that but i think i Should think that but then i know i have like nothing .. so….. i think my life wouldve been better if i did kms like 4 years ago or if all my psychosis incidents actually did make me schizophrenic already cause atleast then maybe i could like find sollace in knowing i am completey fucked and will never have a life and itll be okay because i was crazy but rn i like am too vlose to being like not mentally fucked but also so incredibly burdened by my own mind that i am like

Always on the cusp of it and so i like i feel like a boat just too big and light to ever get sucked into a whirlpool but just stuck spinning and the only way oht would be to try and swim but thats like a 99% chance of me dying and i like as much as id love to escape life and knowing i will never be able to retain any real human contact or relationships and never be able to really wver feel happy and content because of how i always fuck up every thing i have with anyone i would rather atleast like feel like maybe oneday ill have something but it feels impossible for me to ever like

be anything, either for myself or for someone else. i am too depressed and completely checked out in life to make any of my own dreams a reality and everytime im with someone and want to help make their dreams something i find a way to like fumble hard and end up alone

only reason i havent commited soduko yet is social anxiety of finding a bridge and idk what my suicide note would be to ppl, idk if id even wanna leave my family anything because i am sort of checked out of them emotionally but u and blake like atleast Knew me but idk what id say to either of u, thanks for atleast talking to me ahahahah but also fuck u both for not being perfect which is like INSANE mentality but like i also am completely unperfect and cant even like say anything so idk idk idk, idek what id say to blake he was atleast always a good person i just fucked up a lot and wouldnt settle down but for U misha like, idk.

i hate u but love u.. and ik if i told u i was gonna kms itd fuck u up or atleast id Hope ud be able to feel somethin abt it, hope u stleast stalk my accts or something and arent just like completey detatched feom the past 2 years already, i hope u miss me too.. i hope u feel something too, i hope u arent moved on i just want to know u loved me its been ao long since i felt any affection from u even before we ended everything

why couldnt u just talk abt ur peoblems anymore u said it was a bad thing that u didnt feel like u clukd talk to me but like that was 100% all u all u had to ever do was Try to talk abt it but u just clammed up like u alway do and never opened vack up and ig just locked urself away by ur own anxiety and ur problems just compiled and u never like tries to resolve shit and ik i wasnt oerfect at all like helping u and Us get thru stuff sometimes but thats cause all ur problems were always like.

i want the freedom of being able to be with other ppl ahahahaha and like then u harked on me like i was gonna be the one to cheat and shit when like ALL ur problems was ALWAYS like U wanting to.. and its so fucking stupid like bro why do u think i was so angry abt our breakup and ur reasons cause like all u ever wanted to do was be away from me and then u were like Wow.. i cant believe u talked to blake.. bro thats cause u like made it impossible to talk abt anything with u, u stopped being a person to me u stopped like even trying anymore and then tried to make it up as me having failed and thats why we ended when u just couldnt care enough to get over urself and ur stupid shit to just open up to me anymore and just like wanting to try and thats what i hate abt u u always made me feel like i was mever good enough to even talk to u and then ud just do the worst shit and always cause ruckus in our relationship and then u stopped even wanting to try n resolve shit because it was always U at the center of the problems because U couldnt fucking control urself u always did so much shot without thinking and IIII always felt like the impulsive one even tho u would just like ausefhhgsghh why fi i love u why fo i miss u why cant i just be done with this shit and accept that there was no way wed ever work in a million years why cant i stop being tortured why cant i just be dead

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tonystarkstan · 5 years

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Depression, Peter thinks, acts like a physical wound.

At first, it’s just a light sting - it’s manageable. Maybe it kind of gets in the way every now and then, but for the most part, it’s just mind over matter. But he doesn’t seek out help, because it’s not really a big deal.

His thoughts creep in like bacteria, aggravating a festering wound, and one day, he realizes that it’s definitely worse. That it gets in the way. It’s a constant burn, a continuous ache, and suddenly, it’s hard to get out of bed. It hurts.

It becomes infected - it infects him. Makes him sick. He doesn’t want to eat or move or do anything other than sleep. Spider-Man gets pushed to the back burner, and the guilt from that just makes the wound worse. Unmanageable. He can’t fix it on his own.

Physically, it shows. It seeps out of his eyes, paints his face a splotchy red. Leaves bruises under his eyes from all the sleep he can’t get, hollows out his stomach from lack of eating.

And the worst part is, he knows he’s not alone. He knows that.

He sees it in the worried glances May tosses his way when she thinks he isn’t looking and the extra kisses she places on his forehead before he leaves for school. He sees it in the apple slices MJ sends his way at lunch - honey crisp, his favorite. He sees it in the way Ned invites him over to watch movies. He sees it in the way Tony works right next to him in the lab, a steady presence that never strays too far out of reach.

And yet, inexplicably, he feels alone.

Depression, Peter knows, is a balancing act. And, well, the scales are never really in his favor.

Tony and Pepper invite May and Peter over for dinner one night, no doubt an attempt to cheer him up while keeping an eye on him. He wonders if they see the infection now.

It’s a good dinner. Tony is, surprisingly, a good cook. The chicken parmesan looks wonderful, and Peter’s sure it probably tastes just as good, too. But his body is too full of thoughts to have room for food.

Peter can’t help but feel like depression has reduced him down to nothing more than an outline, colored in by the day’s latest spiral of thoughts.

“Peter, babe, can you pass me the green beans?” May asks, and Peter nods. He’d talk but if he does, he’ll make other people sick too. Drag them into his spiral. He can’t do that to May. He can’t.

He goes to pick up the bowl of greens, but when he does, his elbow knocks his glass of water.

The scale tips.

He flinches back, hands shaking, and for a moment, no one moves. In his head, he sees the worn bandages he’d been trying to use to keep it together unravel. There is something sick and twisted filling up every inch of his body, and he stares back at the adults with wide, broken eyes.

He sees the moment they see.

So he does the only thing he knows how: he runs.

This is how it goes:

Peter ends up on the rooftop, but he never makes it to the edge. Maybe he’s scared, maybe he’s just tired. Probably a bit of both. He falls to his knees, arms wrapped around himself, and he’s sick and can’t fix it himself because depression is a festering wound and he didn’t get help when he should have.

Tony gets to him first, face etched with a fear he doesn’t even try to conceal. He takes in the sight of Peter on the ground, arms wrapped around himself, and he doesn’t hesitate. He rushes over with hurried steps before dropping to the kid’s side and engulfing him in his arms.

The sound Peter makes is inhuman, the sound of dying animal, a cry for help that tears itself from his vocal chords.

“I’ve got you, buddy, I’ve got you,” Tony murmurs, rocking him gently. He watches as May bursts out onto the rooftop seconds later, out of breath from running.

He watches the look on May’s face transform as she takes in the sight before her, something protective and pained coloring her expression, heart aching in a way that only a mother’s can for her child.

She immediately drops in front of them, taking Peter’s tear-soaked face into one hand and stroking her fingers through his hair soothingly with her other. He stutters on an inhale and reaches out to her, grasping her shirt tightly in one hand.

“Help,” he whines, a desperate sound, and Tony and May sandwich him, hold him together where he couldn’t himself.

“We’re right here, baby,” May says fiercely, hugging him close. “And we’re not leaving. I promise.”

(Recovery doesn’t have much of an end, but it does have a beginning. For Peter, it looks like this: a tipping of the scales, a breaking point, a wound he can’t heal on his own. A cry for help. A hand reaching out.

You just have to believe someone will reach back.)

And when you don’t feel strong enough to stand, you can reach reach out your hand

And oh, someone will come running and I know they’ll take you home.

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villainsandvictimsalliance · 3 years

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imo, if touya dies in whichever way after endvr has been strengthened on his shoddy path for redemption, all it's gonna do is show the audience the only ending for victims of abuse is a sad and tragic one, which, uh, would suck, frankly. im seeing that, should touya die and endvr react in any way, the fandom is gonna be 'aw poor daddy :( he didnt deserve that!' like endvr is the victim now after touya died; yeah! we know touya is destroying himself! its not pretty! it's not poetic! but endvr caused enough of all that, and he does not get to stop him in a way that can matter. endvr should not have a hand in any of touya's life, no part of it that the fandom will ultimately see as to atone, and instead touya is allowed his roaring rampage of revenge against the one who ruined him like this. but again! my opinion.

Touya dying and Endeavor getting redeemed in that case, would be an absolute nightmare for me. Specially because it's not the first time I have to see this type of representation on a popular media.

If you want to know my perfect scenario:

Dabi gets to live thanks to Shouto and he never forgives Endeavor. This show how some people can't simply forget and forgive, and that's totally valid.

The rest of the Todorokis get to choose how they want to deal with Endeavor NOW that Touya is BACK. Doesn't they deserve a break from their grief? Doesn't they deserve some calmness while they still can get it?

Why people think it'd be good to set Shouto to save his brother only to watch him die? "Oh, it was too late-" my ass.

They're fighting to bring Shirakumo back. And he's mostly gone. Mirio could get his quirk back, Deku can magically avoid losing his arms, doesn't Dabi deserve medical treatment WITH QUIRKS. I'm not saying erasing his burns, I'm saying making them better and helping his internal organs.

Dabi has already die. A second death in the manga would not make sense. For what? For the angst? Horikoshi doesn't kill people because they have no more importance in the plot, but quite the contrary.

Not saving Dabi would be the equivalent of not saving Tomura or Toga. Does it make sense? No.

If people want a villain to refuse redemption to show not everyone can get redeem, they have AFO not getting redeemed, they have Overhaul who só far hasn't show signs of apologizing for what he did, we already had Lady Nagant almost dying...

AND THE VICTIM DESERVES TO LIVE. MORE THAN THE ABUSER.

For around 10 years Dabi was not saved and he received no help. Meanwhile Endeavor was one of the richest man in Japan. He got fame, money, recognition... And Dabi got sick, twisted and suicidal. Endeavor got to live his life, Dabi has been trapped in his head and in his memories since the day Touya died.

Hasn't Dabi payed enough? Hasn't he lost enough? Grief enough? Suffer enough? Why people wants to see him death to pay for what he did? Don't they know that violence and generates violence and grief and anger only give us grief and anger?

To end the cycle of abuse with the victim's dead, oh yes what a prodigy. Oh what an invention. THIS IS NOT A FUCKING GREEK TRAGEDY. FAR FROM IT. STOP ASKING THE DEATH OF THE VICTIM.

And Dabi needs to heal his anger. Because more than destroying others, he's destroying himself. He's not gonna find what he's looking for by killing, he's only gonna fall harder into the darkness and lose his mind.

And Dabi still lives in Endeavor's shadow and memory. That's his nightmare. There's one thing that only Endeavor can give him and that confrontation needs to happen. In the past fights, Endeavor saw an enemy and he became a coward. In the next fight, Endeavor needs to really face what he has done.

And Shouto would be there to save them both. He's gonna allow his father and his brother to get redeemed. Because we have a same person in three versions: the violent hero, the violent villain, and the human who is tired of violence. This is the major representation of how violence would never end well, not matter what side you're on.

Aaaaaand sorry for rambling. I really love Dabi, because I have seen victims getting consume by their anger and I've seen how society refuse to help because "they deserve it". And it makes my blood boil.

So sorry ✋🏼😔

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ssamie · 3 years

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epilogue. “your girlfriend’s kinda hot”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide and suggestive themes + dirty jokes

masterlist. suicide freak!

"hey uh, welcome to my stream i guess" he said as he spared the camera a quick glance "im not really playing tonight because an incident has recently occurred in this household" kenma said with a tired sigh

nobody else knew it, but the said 'incident' was y/n accidentally setting half of their living room on fire

the reason? apparently, she wanted to try burning herself to death in the furnace. obviously, it didn't work. and all that's left from that is more shit for kenma to clean up and a trip to yosano-san.

kenma is stressed. and y/n is still alive. both of them are facing problems.

"can you please wear a maid outfit- no."

kenma shook his head as he continued playing, glancing at the chat once in a while to read the veiwers' questions and comments

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: how about cat ears?!

user: ^^ cATBOY CATBOY CATBOY

user: u suck at this game wtf

kuroo.tetsu: hey kenma ;)

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"first of all, i do not suck at minecraft thank you very much" kenma scoffed

"second of all, go away kuroo. im still mad at you"

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMFAOOO kuroo what did u do?? 💀💀

user: he probably broke kenma's pc

user: PLSS he's the one kenma’s throwing shade at on twitter

kuroo.tetsu: STOP THE SLANDER 😔✋🏼

user: rooster head lookin ass

user: ^^ NOT THE HAIR

kuroo.testsu: 😃😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma sighed as he continued building a cute little cottage. he was currently vibing, just building y/n a cute cottage for her to probably burn later on.

and he decided it would be nice to go on stream since his oh-so-lovely girlfriend was still out for work.

ah yes, kenma has somehow kept y/n alive all those years.

barely.

hence why his phone was being bombarded with messages from her, all of which being blurry selfies.

the photos had her sporting a huge grin while atsushi panicked in the background.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ayo, ur phone's blowing up

user: do you have a girlfriend?

user: KODZUKEN LET ME SUCK UR TOES 😋😋🤩

user: ^ ayo chill 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma simply ignored them and continued on with his task. all was going well until a loud slam was heard. his cat-like eyes widened as he heard a familiar voice singing from downstairs, it was undoubtedly y/n.

kenma chuckled nervously and muted his mic.

but of course, cute dumb catboy didn't actually mute his mic. haha <3

he ignored all the questions in the chat, all of them being speculations that he has a girlfriend. which he does, but they simply did not need to know that <3

"kenma~" she yelled out "i have a surprise for you!!" she said, followed by menacing giggles.

kenma glanced at the camera before hopping off his gaming chair and peeking his head out of the door.

"y/n, im streaming!! stay down there!" he yelled out in panic

"aw, you're playing hard to get aren't ya?" she chuckled

kenma deadpanned as he saw her limping up the stairs, with her bandages torn and unravelled, same with her clothes. he didn't really think much of it since this is usually how she comes home.

its most likely just due to work and/or another suicide attempt.

"so, kenma.. you'll never know what just happened to me today" she started off with a goofy grin

"im streaming, atleast let me turn it off first-"

she paid no mind to him as she peeled off her ruined coat and pointed to her poorly bandaged stomach

"i got stabbed!"

"you got what?!"

kenma furrowed his brows as he immediately rushed over to his side, cradling her face and waist as he inspected her injuries

"are you okay, kitten?" he asked worriedly

"yep, apparently it wasnt deep enough to be fatal" she sighed dejectedly

"please don't be sad about that." kenma groaned "can you undress?"

"ara ara~ whats this?" she cooed "you're getting real bold, kenma" she smirked at him

she unbuttoned her shirt and started pulling down on her skirt "but since you asked so nicely-"

kenma simply sighed and shook his head. "i was gonna prepare you a bath but now im considering leaving you here to die"

"but the second option would've been better though" she smiled at him

"oh my fucking god."

kozume kenma. (22)

╰─▸ university student, stock trader, pro-gamer, youtuber, ceo of bouncing ball lpt.

╰─▸ y/n's struggling boyfriend. definitely needs a pay after all he's been through.

╰─▸ currently panicking because his girlfriend got stabbed.

l/n y/n. (22)

╰─▸ operative/member of the armed detective agency.

╰─▸ kenma's girlfriend. kinda dumb, very hot to compensate for it. still hasn't died yet.

╰─▸ currently bleeding and wounded. also hoping for severe blood loss.

"kenma, did you know" she mused in a teasing tone "lack of sleep and too much stress could possibly lead to poor memory and lack of awareness"

kenma looked up at her with a look of confusion. he was currently kneeled down before her while she was sat on the bed as he cleaned her wound up with a damp towel.

"why are you telling me this?" he asked

"i just thought it probably applied to you" she snickered

"why? i didnt forget anything-"

he cut himself off with a huge intake of air. he slowly turned his head to look at the screen which still had his stream going on. to make it worse, the camera was on and they were both clearly in the camera's field of view.

to make things worse worse, his mic was on the whole time and the live chat was in shambles.

"i hate it here" he sighed

kenma laid his head on her lap as he continued on patching her up, honestly not caring that this whole scene was being recorded for thousands or millions of people to see.

"well, atleast the internet could finally see my beauty before i die" she laughed

she ran her fingers through kenma's hair as he grumbled under his breath. kenma was a pretty private person. he made sure not to overshare, given his current 'influencer' status. and he was planning on keeping his relationship a secret, though it seems he can't do that anymore.

"might as well say hi" she shrugged

so of course, she then decided to walk up to the camera looking utterly dishevelled and roughed up.

for context, the newly wrapped bandages around her stomach was being stained already by a crimson red hue and it was only getting worse the more she moved, undoubtedly messing up her wound.

"hi, im kenma's girlfriend and if i see you flirting with him i will make you regret it" she grinned

"y/n!" kenma groaned from the bed "you're close to dying right now, turn the stream off"

ignoring him, she proceeded to read the veiwers' comments, laughing at some of them while she joked around.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: heLLO?!?!

user: GE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOOO

user: bruh, did i just hear that right? were you fuckin stabbed?

user: ur kinda hot tho

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma furrowed his brows as he reluctantly walked up behind her, reading the comments with varying reactions

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: well damn, hot bloody girl comes in and suddenly im lesbian

user: kenma looks so done

kuroo.tetsu: hi y/n ;)

user: HER NAME IS Y/N

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"jesus christ shut up, kuroo" kenma grumbled out with a sigh

"yup! yup! im y/n, and no, i am not a criminal. i swear." she shook her head

"i got an injury from my job, that's all." she cleared up

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: tangina nyo sana ol

user: MSKAKAKKA

user: THIS IS LOWKEY ICONIC

user: time to scratch another gamer boy off my possible bf list 😔

user: girl wtf happened to u

user: that's wack bro 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"great question, random person from the internet!" she beamed "see, what happened was.."

"i went on a certain mission and got severely injured. though, when i called for help nobody responded" she said

kenma furrowed his brows at her words. "why didn't anybody respond?" he asked. she sighed and fiddled with her torn bandages, pouting her lips as she does so.

"well, when i told them that i was finally on death's door, all they said to me was 'congratulations!' and all that.." she said "what's your take on that, hm?" she asked kenma

"im not surprised" he said

she grinned at his words and leaned in for a kiss. "you're so mean to me, kenma~" she whined

she licked her lips as she held his blushing face in her hands, she nuzzled their noses as she leaned in closer to him.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

kuroo.tetsu: oh shit 😳

user: we all know where this is heading ;)

user: sana ol talaga punyemas

user: AYO CHILL

user: why we goin so fuckin fasstttt 😳

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma hastily turned the camera off as soon as y/n's lips touched his.

"kitten, were still- hmph-"

he was only silenced as she slipped her tongue in his mouth, smirking lightly as she ran her fingers through his hair

"thanks babe." she said as she pulled away, giving him a soft peck on his cheek and a nod "anyways.." she hummed as she turned the camera on once again

she looked through the chat while kenma slaps his face to get rid of his blush.

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: ur fuckin freaky

kuroo.tetsu: oya oya 😼😼

user: MS MAAM I JUST MET U AND I LOVE U ALREADY WJABSJSJJS

user: not me blushing chiiilllleeeeee 🏃‍♀️

user: KENMA IS FLUSTERED

kuroo.tetsu: kenma, i didnt expect this from u 😼

user: im so fucking JEALOUS GRR😡

user: girl r u bleeding rn 😃

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

upon reading a certain comment, she subconsciously grazed her fingers against her bandaged wound. her eyes slightly widening as she felt a concerning amount of wetness seeping through

she glanced at kenma who was still calming himself down and inspected her wound

"oh my.." she muttered, though she couldn't help but let a smile slip through

so like any normal person would do, she simply ignored her bleeding wound and the fact that she was getting a bit lightheaded. haha <3

"anyways, let's answer some questions!" she beamed

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: what's ur full name

user: what's ur job miss girl

user: are you possibly looking for a gf, because i am more

than willing to take the spot 🚶‍♀️

user: how did you meet??

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"alright, those are all very nice questions" she chuckled. kenma, who's now calmed down, sat down beside her to look at the chat.

"first, im l/n y/n" she mused "nice to meet ya"

"second im a detective! mhm, im cooler than your fathers"

"third, it depends, belladonna" she cooed as she sent the camera flirty smirk "are you perhaps willing to join me in a double suicide?"

"oh god.." kenma grumbled. he pouted at her and shook his head in disapproval. "don't flirt with random girls" he whined

"why not?"

"uh- because i am your beloved boyfriend, is that not good enough of a reason??"

"... anyways, we met at a cafe way back in high school" she said with a smile "also, i asked him to join me on a double suicide" she said

she was smiling and nodding as if it was the most normal thing in the world, all while kenma nods along

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: wtf are u okay 🗿

kuroo.tetsu: teenage romance 🤩

user: cute ❤️

user: im concerned ❤️

user: ur a detective?? cool

user: LMAOO I'LL GO ON A DOUBLE SEWER SLIDE

WITH U MOMMY 😩😩😋

user: ^^ SAME 😩

user: CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BANDAGES MOMMAE 😩

user: u r still bleeding 🚶‍♀️

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

kenma was simply glaring at the chat as more compliments and flirtatious comments came flowing in, all of which were directed to his girlfriend.

"this is why i didn't wanna let people know about you.." kenma grumbled

"aww, why not?" she asked with a playful pout

"people are flirting with you." he sighed "also, stop asking for my girlfriend's onlyfans! she doesn't even have one!" he snarled

╭─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╮

user: LMAOO CATBOY IS ANGRY 😩

user: y/n-senpai spit on me 😡😡

user: drop the onlyfans

user: chupapi munyanyo 😩

╰─━━━━━━━━━━━━─╯

"anyways, i'd hate to ruin the mood" she chimed in with a sluggish giggle "but im so wet kenma" she whined out

a menacing smirk was etched on her lips as kenma spluttered in response, a bright red hue covering his face almost instantly as he faced her with widened eyes

"y-y/n! why would you say that?!" he whisper shouted

"cuz i am" she whined out as she grabbed his hand and trailed it down her abdomen

she faced the camera and gave them a shit-eating grin as kenma mumbled out incoherent words

"y/n we should-" he cut himself off as he felt the concerning amount of blood drip down his whole arm

kenma's face paled as he looked up to see her smiling like a kid in a candy store, completely unbothered.

"y/n, you idiot! why didn't you tell me!" kenma exclaimed

"um- my girlfriend is bleeding. excessively. so uh- bye i guess" it was all he said before hastily ending his stream and turning off his computer.

"y/n, let's get you to a hospital" he said as he reached down to carry her away. though she simply slapped his hands off and closed her eyes.

"nope. this is my time, kenma. don't ruin it for me" she said

"you're fucking dying!!"

"well, would you like to join me?"

"no"

"damn." she muttered in response

"so...wanna fuck?" she asked sheepishly

"for the love of god-"

this was so messy :/

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diavolosthots · 4 years

Note

Hi! Ok, I know I already asked for this type of thing once, but I hope it's alright if I request the brothers and a suicidal s/o? It's completely ok if not, I can think of something else. Thank you very much!

I avoided this for a minute because ya know, the topic, but I feel like it needs to be addressed since so many people lately have been down.

First and Foremost, if you or someone you know is experiencing these thoughts and or has attempted, please reach out for help. There are better days to come and life does get easier. The National s*icide prevention hotline for the U.S. is: 1-800-273-8255. Most of my followers are from the U.S., but if you are not from the U.S., please reach out to your respective hotline/people.

Warning: mentions of s*icide, mentions of self harm, intense reactions

THE BROTHERS to a s*icidal MC

Lucifer:

He didn't know what to do; for days youve seemed so helpless, so empty. He watched you move through the days without any real reaction to anything, just gloomy eyes and a tired body moving along the halls. He tried reaching out and he really didn't want to push it, but he was tired of the "im fine" when he knew you were not. So he sits you down and he forces you to speak; you can break down against him, he will hold you close. He will help you through it. Believe in yourself a little more.

Mammon:

He knew something was off the minute you got mad that he always popped into your room unannounced and he knew you were hiding something too. Imagine the shock he had to find goodbye letters and pills all prepared. Of course he confronted you, yelling until both you and him broke down into a crying mess. He reached out for you, pulling you almost too tightly against him; how can you dare think of leaving when he hasn't even had the chance to really meet you yet? When he just worked up the courage to accept his feelings; to love you.

Leviathan:

It started when you only wanted to wear long sleeves, when you stopped cuddling up to him, and when you didn't laugh with him anymore. At first, he thought he did something wrong; who wants a yucky otaku anyway. But he noticed you did the same with everyone and he got concerned. He admits, he was a little too rough with you that day, forcing your sleeves up your arms to see fresh cuts as shock took over. No, no,no ! Why would you do that!? You cant just... Give up! Who do you think you are! Hes mad, hurt, confused. Why dont you reach out for help? He can help you! He wants to help you!

Satan:

He was tough, he admits. And he lost his cool toward you on more than one occasion, but he always made up with you. So why were you avoiding him now? Were you mad at him again? He shouted, he admits. Until you broke down and explained yourself. And then? Silence. He didn't know what to do, he didn't have any words of knowledge to help you expect that you need to seek help. Right now. He will force you to go see a specialist; hell he'll even become a specialist. But you need help. This is not the way out.

Asmodeus:

Imagine the look of sheer terror on his face as you admit to him how you truly think. How you truly feel. Does he not love you enough? Does he love you too much? Is it not him at all? Darling, why do you listen to useless people and thoughts? Trust in him when he tells you youre amazing, when he tells you he loves you. Because he does, and he won't stop until you love yourself too. Until you see the wonderful being you are, that everyone else sees too.

Beelzebub:

He noticed, of course. Your change in demeanor and the way you didnt laugh with him anymore. He was the first to confront you too, picking up on your sadness like he does so often. You can't be serious in attempting or even thinking of doing such things; why? He starts to get angry, not at you of course, but maybe a little. So what, life gets tough and you give up? Absolutely not. Unacceptable. There's ways out and ways to help that doesnt involve any of that bs and by God he will force you to find one.

Belphegor:

He found you on the roof one night, thinking that you were just sitting there like he so often does; wrong. Upon realizing that you had other intentions, he couldn't help himself and slapped you. Granted, he apologized, but he was just so furious at your words and how ridiculous you are for thinking of doing such things when you could just ask for help! They would get you help, he would get you help. He cant just have another person leave his life without him having the chance to fix it!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #asmodeus obey me #obey me lucifer #mammon obey me #leviathan obey me #obey me satan #beelzebub obey me #belphegor obey me #tw depression #tw suicice #tw

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xbrattyprincex · 2 years

Text

the masculine urge to fucking kill myself 🥵

Because honestly Ive reached my fucking limit. I am 👌 close to actually fucking killing myself lmfao. Im thousands of miles away from my home with the best job ive ever had and my only family; my work family.. i couldnt get a new job in the franchise here because it was just...it was bad..it was real bad.... i cant get or find a new job

I cant get unemplpyment or foodstamps because I dont have proof of residency for the state im in. But i had nowhere else to go.

My ipad was stolen so i cant draw for money or play genshin anymore, one of my biggest comforts

I cant pay for the foods i can actually eat with my eating disorder so im slowly wasting away and starving myself again because our body gags at everything i fucking eat.

I cant pay for my own medication. I lost access to all of my flightrising accounts because they thought we were one user and trading to much between us..uh..hello, 10 alters played it. So thanks for that flightrising, we lost yet another fucking comfort that was helping us to barely fucking cling on to our fucking sanity.

Cant pay for my spotify anymore and we use it as another huge comfort. Meditations to fall asleep to as its diffocult witjout them.. but now we are getting so fucking depressed that we can barely listen to music anymore...

I live in a family friemds house, with his parents. Im just a burden and a leech.

Im legally homeless, vegitating in this house. Im a lost cause with no purpose. No direction. No motivation. No way to make money. No license. No way to pay for a license, insurance, or a car. I cant go back "home" because i no longer have a house/home to come back too...

My birth certificate, hospital paperwork, and my cats vet certificates were in the case with that stolen ipad and j have no money tk replace those things...

Oh and im seperated from my cat too. Hes in georgia with our partner.

I am legit fucking ready to kill myself. I was already depressed before. I was going to commit when i was in my old house. I was at my limit. And getting kicked out of my dads house an hr before the flight i was taking to save my cat from being put in a shelter...? It literally ruined my entire life when i flew and ran across the country by myself. Five different airports..multiple states..i..im seriously at my fucking limit. I cant fucking do this anymore. Literally any of my problems could be solved with money. But i have no way to get it. I am so fucking close to just fucking killing myself from pills again. I cant fucking TAKE IT ANYMORE. Im a useless, talentless person thats literally just a waste of space. Im some massive burden lmfao. I literally dont see the point to fucking being ALIVE anymore. I just. I cant fucking do it anymore.

Id do a go fund me but the last time i tried i.. no one..no one seemed to care very much, or everyone was unable to help because of their own lives. The amount id need ..i..its jhst..its too much.

At this point im just going to end up as a statistkc. Another trans youth, a did system no less, dead by suicide.

Congratulations world.

Congrarulations to my lgbt phobic family.

You've killed another youth who could have had a brighter future if you didnt help drive them to suicide. I guess ill never know what having a real life is like. The universe never gave me a fucking break.

#mental health #did system #trans #lgbt #flightrising #genshin impact #help #starker #k!nk #mentally ill #tw sui mention #tw suicude #im tired #im so tired #im done #flightrising sale #starkerfamily #crisis #lgbt help

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