#if you write a fic based on this idea

[soda-p0p-sauce]

Ok, Genshin AU, hear me out-

Benny’s bad luck taken to the max. He’s constantly dying, but no one remembers- basically just Bennett with a Kenny from South Park situation happening.

During that one Event where he fell off the cliff and Albedo went after him? Dead. Random instances of monster run-ins? Dead. Rock thrown at him really hard? Dead. When he was first found in that cave unscathed? Dead.

Maybe have a few people remember- like descenders or archons. Maybe the Hexenzirkl. It could be an Irminsul thing, but the finer details of why are kinda minimal to the concept in practice and can be customized.

This could especially work well with the theory that Venti is the god of death.

#genshin venti #venti #god of death venti #genshin impact #genshin #genshin au #bennett genshin impact #bennett gi #albedo #albedo genshin impact #au #crack au #kenny mccormick #kenny south park #south park #if you write a fic based on this idea #please credit or tag me :) #id love to see it

[krismiss-cos]

DPxDC idea thing

Now with AO3 post!

So picture this, the Justice League have just captured the new vigilante called Phantom. So far he has refused to talk to any JL members and seemingly vanished every time they tried to speak to him. After a particularly difficult battle Superman is finally able to put power restricting cuffs on Phantom and bring him to the Watchtower. Phantom has been silent since being subdued and looks like he's being walked to his execution.

Meanwhile, Red Hood has been brought in on an unrelated case and is speaking to a League member when he feels a kind of tugging in his chest. He starts walking in the direction he's being pulled and looks through the one way mirror looking into one of the interrogation rooms. He locks eyes with the green eyed boy and feels fire start burning in his chest as his brain screams protect king help. He's consumed with a feeling almost like the pit rage as he bursts through the door and makes a beeline to Danny. Batman starts to step in front of him but Jason throws him into the wall and undoes Danny's cuffs. Once Danny is free Jason blinks and looks around, feeling unbalanced now that the all consuming need to protect Phantom has subsided.

Danny is completely stunned as he looks at this leather clad mountain of a man that radiates safe protected friend. He's quickly snapped out of his shock as Superman enters the room and starts to grab Jason's shoulder. Danny's protective king instincts kick in as he darts between Supes and Jason, in a voice filled with static and cracking ice he says, "Don't touch my Knight."

#ghost king danny #dpxdc #justice league #danny phantom #batman #jason todd #jason is the new fright knight #please take this idea and RUN with it #please tag me if you write a fic based on this #please excuse any typos #I'm writing this at 3am #how do I tag #i'm new to tumblr #send help #danny and jason being super protective is my fav trope #revnant jason todd #Phantom's Red Knight

[afewproblems]

The Holiday Party had gone quite smoothly, more than he was expecting if Steve was being honest with himself.

Until about halfway through, but that was pretty par for the course.

Jonathan had unearthed an old Rummoli Board from a box labeled 'Basement Misc', the Byers were still in the middle of unpacking from their move back to Hawkins, and brought it alongside a bottle of wine that Nancy had managed to smuggle from the Wheelers liquor cabinet.

Robin, who rode with Eddie and Argyle, brought pizza, the only copy of It's A Wonderful Life from Family Video, and way too much weed for just the six of them.

"It isn't a party without a little Kush Stevie," Eddie had told him, clapping his warm hand on Steve's shoulder, his thumb just high enough to rest on bare skin above the collar of his sweater.

All Steve could do was roll his eyes and take the pizzas, quickly ducking into the kitchen before Robin or, God Forbid, Eddie could comment on the pink flush that had taken over his face at the new nickname.

Robin had been insisting that Steve just tell Eddie how he felt for the last few weeks. Rip the bandaid off and come clean. What was the worst that could happen?

Which, really Robin?

Steve knows exactly what happens when someone puts themselves out there only for the other person to not feel the same way. His whole argument was currently sitting in his living room for fucks sake.

Sure, Steve and Nancy were on better terms now, but it also took two years to get there, and even still, there was a weird tension when they found themselves alone together.

So, no, telling Eddie was not an option, Robin.

Steve could keep it together. He could deal with the ache in his chest at the sight of Eddie's smile. Steve could deal with the way his heart beat quickened whenever Eddie said his name. He could deal with the heady flush that bloomed every time Eddie touched him.

He was fine, it was fine.

And, movie nights like these were nothing new in the wake of Vecnas defeat and the destruction of the Upside Down. Steve needed to keep it together if he wanted to continue to have this. Nights without the kids to look after or the adults to hide their indulgences from, these were the nights where they could truly relax.

These were Steve's favourite, and he was not going to let some Bullshit feelings stand in the way of being able to see Eddie.

This Christmas Eve found the six of them lounging on pillows and extra couch cushions from the basement to make the 'best movie watching set-up thank you very much', according to Robin, and watching It's a Wonderful Life for the umpteenth time.

"I can't believe that George Bailey would wish for something like that, when it's so obvious that people care about him," Robin scoffs at the top of her voice about halfway through the movie, prompting a irritated Shush from Nancy.

"That bro is depressed man, it's like a cry for help, and on Christmas, this shit is heavy dude," Argyle hums, lifting his fist up to Robin who shakes it with a wild grin. The two erupt into violent giggles which begin to creep into Steve and Eddie and eventually Jonathan as well. Nancy rolls her eyes but can't help the smile that takes over her face as well.

"Who would wish to never be born when you could just wish for the bank to like, not fuck you over, seems like a waste of a wish if you ask me," Eddie says as the last traces of giggles begin to finally disapate.

"Ooo, Eddie's right!" Robin says as she reaches for the remote, hitting pause on the movie. She waves her hands through the chorus of groans from everyone except Eddie who turns around to Steve with an incredulous expression on his face.

Steve shrugs as Robin continues, unable to look away from those large brown eyes until a hand darts out to smack him in the chest.

"Steve, pay attention," Robin huffs, "let's go around and share what we would wish for!"

Oh shit.

Steve turns on the couch to fully face Robin with narrowed eyes. She grins at him, lifting a single eyebrow as her blue eyes dart between Eddie and Steve.

Steve opens his mouth to argue, to insist that they just carry on with the movie, only for Eddie to drum his hands against his knees and speak.

"Oh birdie, I'm way ahead of you, this is Wayne's favorite Christmas movie so I've done a lot of thinking 'bout this".

Eddie clears his throat and lifts his hands from his knees now as though he's about to launch into a story for Hellfire, "I would personally wish for the money to be able to fund Corroded Coffin full time, get a demo done, and then be able to kiss this fucking one horse town good bye!"

Steve feels the words hit him like a bucket of cold water.

Eddie wants to leave Hawkins.

His wish, his dream, for forever from the sounds of it, is to leave them all behind.

To leave Steve behind.

The voices from the group, pitched high and low, all blend together into one as the rest of the group share their own wishes.

Steve absently feels a small hand grip his own, he looks up to see Robin staring at him, a worried frown pinched between her eyebrows. He answers her silent question with a shake of his head.

It was fine, he was fine. This was a good thing, better to know now than later when Eddie would inevitably leave him behind.

"Stevie?"

Steve startles as a ringed hand waves precariously close to his face. Eddie smiles faintly at him, one dimple on display as he speaks again.

"Kinda lost you for a second there, what about your wish?"

"Oh," he manages to say with a slight laugh in his voice, even as his brain fills with static, "um, I haven't ever really thought about it, maybe some new music or something".

Nancy and Jonathan both boo loudly from the love seat while Argyle nods with a hazy smile.

"Right on my man, sounds like Eddie'll be able to help when his band makes it big," he says before turning back to the television and slumping even more heavily into the couch.

Steve forces out another bright laugh, ignoring how much it burns his throat and crushes his chest. The only thing keeping him in his seat is the firm hold of Robin's hand on his own.

He doesn't look at Eddie as he leans forward to press play on the movie once more, letting the music and dialogue fill the room once more.

Later, as the end of the credits roll and the tape switches back to static, Nance and Jonathan are fast asleep. The pair are cuddled up on the love seat, their heads leaning against one another. It would almost be cute if not for the pang of envy that fills Steve at the sight.

Steve tries to bask in the warmth of having Robin cuddled into his side, knowing it will alleviate at least some of the ache in his chest. Robins eyes have been steadily growing heavier as she slowly falls further and further into Steves side. He smiles, reaching up to brush her hair away from her face.

At least he has Robin, and maybe for now that is enough.

***

This is a part one, let me know if anyone would like a part Two?

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things #afewproblems writes #steve x eddie #getting together #holiday steddie #holiday fic #based very very loosely on the idea of a christmas wish in Its a Wonderful Life #been awhile since ive written these guys #i hope you all enjoy! #robin buckley #nancy wheeler #jonathan byers #argyle #please ignore any typos i wrote this in one go on my phone #part one christmas wish

[paimonial-rage]

procedural - alhaitham

[random writing event] | requested by @crane1000

Being known as one of those more free-spirited sort, you were never one for schedules. It wasn’t that you had anything against them. You just found it difficult to devote yourself to doing things at a set time on a set day was rather constricting. So when you were hired to work as the Akademiya’s scribe’s assistant, you were in for a whirlwind of change. Alhaitham was scheduled. Procedural, even. And he made sure you were too.

With Alhaitham, work started at 9am sharp. After half an hour of reviewing his intray, he would start on drafting proposals, copying documents, and creating lists. It was your job to maintain and organize the many papers that passed through his hands. Lunch was taken at noon on the dot. After, you would be out and about passing correspondence, picking up new books from the House of Daena, and communicating with the other departments. Once 5pm hit, you were finally released.

Through everything, Alhaitham prized efficiency and efficacy above all else. And though it took time to get used to his spartan ways, you could see the value in following his work style. Everything made sense. That is, mostly everything. When you sat down and really thought about everything, though, you couldn’t help but feel that there was something… odd about the way he did a few things.

Ever since you started, Alhaitham began eating out for lunch almost everyday, always inviting you along. Which was weird because you heard he usually brought lunch made by his roommate. You didn’t think it was too strange at first. You were friends with Alhaitham during your student years, after all. He probably wanted to catch up. But to continue on for a few months…?

It didn’t help that you did much of the talking at lunch. Sure, you were extremely talkative, but you thought he’d surely get tired of listening to you ramble on by now. But no, no matter how much you babbled about, he’d always respond with some intelligent response showing he was listening to you all along. That wasn’t even considering the way he opted to sit next to instead of across from you. Were you that interesting to listen to?

Then there was the way he’d actually listen to and take the random advice you’d give. The new fountain pens upon his desk were suggested by you, as were the coffee beans he now used at home. He let you drag him to new restaurants at lunch and borrowed the books you raved about in the House of Daena. You never heard of him doing this for anyone else.

And lastly…

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yep! Just finished packing up,” you replied, standing up from your desk. “Let’s go.”

As that classes were finally finished for the day, the Akademiya was abuzz with students. In the back of your mind, you had no doubt that the streets of Sumeru City would only be busier seeing that most people were finally leaving work.

“You don’t need to walk me home,” you began with an apologetic laugh. “It’s probably going to take a while.”

“It’s fine,” he replied. “Besides, weren’t you the one that insisted on finishing your story earlier?”

“Oh, you’re right!” You exclaimed. “So what happened next was…”

As you chatted about the happenings and various gossip that managed to find their way into your nosy ears, at some point your hand found its way into his. It often happened seeing that the busy roads often pushed and shoved you about. And as kind as he was to help you, you couldn’t help but feel that it was, like all the other things, unnecessary.

“Why are you so nice to me?” You found yourself asking when you finally reached your home.

Though his eyes widened for a moment, they soon narrowed as he crossed his arms as if observing you.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

You paused in thought.

“Because you see me as a friend?” You asked curiously.

You were met with a long exasperated sigh.

“Sure, let’s say that,” he finally said as he turned to leave. “Rest well.”

As you waved him goodbye, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh to yourself. Oh well. You’ll figure out his secrets some other time.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #my writing #alhaitham #alhaitham x reader #writing event #request #crane1000 #OKAY I… I’M SORRY OTL #i know i told you i’d get up that kaveh fic but… #that prompt is beating the crap out of me #i’ve come up with so many possible ideas but can’t think up a good ending for any of them!!! #so you’ll have to wait longer i’m sorry ;v; #as for this fic it’s actually based on another fic i’m working on for alhaitham #sorry this fic isn’t as good as i’d like it to be esp after making you wait so long #thank you for putting up with me ;v; <3

[gojonanami]

thinking about fuck boy neighbor gojo who keeps you up all night with his late night fucking right next to your bedroom that you get so fed up and bang on his door and yell at him to cut it out. but to your displeasure not only is he really hot, he's refusing to listen, and slams the door in your face, laughing. and then after several pranks and surely some apartment violations, it ends with him fucking you in the same bed he had caused all that noise in. and for once, you're not unhappy to be sleep deprived the next day.

#and if you've read the manhwa this idea is based off of #no you haven't #fdskjnjskfn #i couldn't help but think about gojo the entire time i was reading that manhwa #it's my cocky neighbor btw lol #satoru gojo smut #satoru gojo x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #satoru gojo #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru #satoru gojo fanfiction #sab [mlist] #i'm also in the process of writing this into a fic lol

[nyxi-pixie]

it is immensely funny to me that the beast afterword is just like. an endorsement of fanfiction.

like i know people talk abt asgr saying theres a universe where skk joined the ada tgthr but like. its a fanfiction prompt. bro gave us fic prompts😭😭😭😭

'what do i want you to think after reading this novel' and his answer is MAKE SO MANY AUS. also why is one of the ideas 'what if the ada was broke' like?? major plot point: they do unpaid overtime together

#also. calling us young scientists experimenting with the story 😥😥😥 #and the 'by doing so [exploring au ideas] you have become one of us [...] welcome to our world' #anyway. i have direct permission to write skk fic he said so🙏🙏🙏 #i mean. its not surprising coming from a guy who based his like fav character's motivation on writing a fix it fic for his fav book series #but its still funny to me #'GO WRITE ALL THE GENDERSWAP YOU WANT! WRITE GIRL ATSUSHI INTO THE WORLD!' like im ON IT o7 #bsd #soukoku #like. more seriously its just encouragement for people to find solace in writing which is beautiful and i agree #but ITS SO FUNNY😭😭😭😭

[sunsetsandsunshine]

OH MY GOSH PROMPTS!! 💖💖💖 I adore your fics so much! 💖 I would absolutely love something for Mutant Mayhem with lee Leo and ler Raph! Throughout the movie he’s so touchy feely with his brothers and it’s so cute. Maybe he’s teasing Leo for liking April and makes him wonder what would happen if April found out he was ticklish which flusters Leo to no end. Of course take all the time you need and I hope you’re well!

~ 𝙻𝚎𝚘, 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚎𝚛 ~

💙🐢❤️ 𝙵𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: @veryblushyswitch💙🐢❤️

𝙰𝙷𝙷𝙷𝙷 𝙷𝙸 𝙱𝙻𝚄𝚂𝙷𝚈!!! 𝚈𝚎𝚜, 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠!!! 𝚁𝚊𝚙𝚑 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚢-𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝙻𝚎𝚘’𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚘𝚗 𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 😖💖💞

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙱𝚛𝚞𝚑 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙼𝙰𝚈 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚊 𝙼𝚞𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝙼𝚊𝚢𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚏𝚒𝚌…𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚊 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚘𝚕𝚍 ‼‼‼ 𝙱𝚛𝚞𝚑, 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚐𝚘 😔…? /𝚛𝚎𝚏˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟺,𝟽𝟸𝟸

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝚁𝚊𝚙𝚑 🐢❤️

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠…𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚋𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝! 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢’𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚜𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚕, 𝚒𝚗𝚟𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝙱𝚒𝚝𝚌𝚘𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚓𝚞𝚍𝚐𝚎 𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚖𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚌 𝚝𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎! 𝙸𝚝’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝙰𝚆𝙴𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴! 𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑…𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚛…𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚢…

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝚃*𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝙳𝙽𝙸. 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸.)

𝙾𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚐𝚜𝚜𝚜𝚜:

@shut-up-jo @what-youd-expect @saturnzskyzz

@someone1348 @itzsana-kiddingmenow @goopyskele

@ziipzeepzop-eez @skyloladoodles @leosmasktails

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐…𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 *𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚝 𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚜𝚙𝚜*!!!

𝚃𝚆: 𝚃𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐— 𝚢'𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚞𝚜𝚞𝚊𝚕. 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚘𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 🕺🏾!!!

𝙸 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝙰𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕𝙽𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚘…𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝙸 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎-𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝙷𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚏 𝚠𝚎’𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚙𝚕𝚎-𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚗𝚘. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖 𝚊𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 (𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚘𝚔𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝙸’𝚖 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚏𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐<𝟹)

𝙰𝙻𝚂𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙿𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙱𝙴 𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚈!!! 𝚈𝙾𝚄’𝚁𝙴 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙿𝙾𝚂𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝙲𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶𝙴 😈🕺🏾✨!!!

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

Two hours. It has been two absolutely awesome, amazing, astonishing, stupefying, magnificent, incredible, extraordinary, staggering, astounding, perplexing, confounding, stupendous hours being on a call with the one and only April O’Neil. 

And yes, Leo looked up more than half of those synonyms. He’s a man of many words. 

The two friends have been on a FaceTime call for…no particular reason, actually. Leo and April just collectively agreed that being on a call and doing classwork with each other would be a lot more fun than doing said classwork by themselves. 

But, April was an only child. The poor girl wouldn’t have anyone her age to help her finish the homework anyway.

Leo’s brothers on the other hand…chose not to help him with his homework in any way, shape, or form. 

Raph has, like, 10 missing assignments from each class— (scary yet impressive honestly) so asking him for help wouldn’t help either of them. 

Mikey keeps LOSING his homework (which he always blames their Mom for eating…since she does kinda eat literally anything and everything)…

And Donnie? He only ever helps people with homework if they give him free V-bucks (or however you spell it…idk man—). And does it LOOK like Leo can or will ever own V-bucks??? 

But at the end of the day, the leader in blue couldn’t really blame his brother’s for not helping. I mean, it’s homework. Doing work at home. In all fairness, the word alone just sounds wrong…

What they all were learning in class was stupid anyway. It was all taxes and discounts and blah blah blah…

It was boring. Like…BORING boring. 

And complicated…super freaking complicated.

And anytime Leo would ask a question about said homework, every teacher would say the same exact phrase: “Why didn’t you ask your parents or guardian for help?”

Even thinking about the question for a split second made Leo shiver. What did he look like? Some bright genius? He’s not Young Shelldon— if anything that’s Donnie. 

Besides, what did the teachers expect them to do? Ask their parents for help with their homework? Psh. Yeah right. As if.

Google exists for a reason, y’know. 

And not to be the bearer of bad news here but…Leo’s Dad’s a fucking rat. No offense to Splinter of course, but if his Dad couldn’t tell the difference between Andrew Tate and Timothée Chalamet, what makes you think he would know the difference between debit cards and credit cards? 

“I freaking hate English...” April grumbled from Leo’s phone screen, “It makes absolutely no sense. We break the rules that we created specifically for this language!” 

Leo stopped typing on his laptop, blinking a couple of times out of confusion, “What do you mean?” He giggled amused, looking up and glancing at her intrigued. 

“Y'know the 'I before e except after c' rule?” She asked. 

“Yeah? I know of it.” 

“It doesn’t make any sense. Like…at all. There are a ton of words that don’t follow it.” 

“Oh.” The mutant huffed out a small laugh, closing his laptop and putting it away in his backpack which was to the side of his bed, where he was sitting, “Well…what words? I’m sure there’s only a handful you could think of.” 

“There’s neither, foreign, seize, height, protein, caffeine…” She lists out, “…I could go on and on…” Leo blinked absently, “…You’ve been thinking about this for a while, haven’t you?” 

The girl with glasses huffed out a small, smug laugh, showing the other teen one of her many notebook’s labeled 'Except after C my ASS.'  “Well, English is weird like that.” The hazel eyed mutant shrugged as the older teen groaned in irritation. “SEE?! See what I mean?! E is before I in the word 'weird!'” The girl announced annoyedly, rubbing her eyes tiredly. 

April leaned on her seat, staring up at the ceiling and pondering. “What if I just…banned English?” 

“The language or the class?” The mutant asked incredulously.  

“Why not both?” She deadpanned. Leo rolled his eyes fondly as he adjusted himself on his bed to a more comfortable and relaxed position, “Well, you have fun with that…” 

The two teens shared a comfortable silence, both going back to working on their homework, asking questions every now and again but keeping the atmosphere quiet, calm and settled. 

Leo glanced at the screen, resting his palm on his cheek as he just…stared at her. 

Which…is extremely creepy and something you should never do to someone (especially if they wield a moped 24/7), but April was just so…

Pretty, attractive, lovely, good-looking, nice-looking, fetching, prepossessing, appealing, charming, delightful, nice…

Okay, well you get the point. 

“You’re so smart, April…” Leo mumbled as the girl in question looked up at him, confused and flattered at the sudden/random compliment, “Huh?”

“Huh?” The teenage boy repeated, his face turning a deep crimson as he came to terms that his 'inner thoughts' became his 'outer thoughts'. The girl raised a brow, a teasing smirk plastered on her face, “You just called me smart.” 

“No I didn’t!” The mutant denied, “I meant to say, uh uhm…you're such a u-uh…tart!” 

Nice save Leo…nice. save. 

“A…tart? Are you trying to call me a snack or something?”

“NO!” The blue banded mutant immediately said, his face as hot as fire now, “You’re just very sweet like one. My Dad baked tarts all the time when I was a kid and I was kindaaaa hungry just now. So, I thought of the tarts he used to make and I was like ‘wow, those tarts were sweet as HECK’ and thought about you!” 

April stared at Leo for a minute or two before bursting out into laughter, simply going back to her homework, “Pff— okay, certified yapper.” She snickered, going back to jotting down notes in her French textbook. 

Suddenly, there was a shout to be heard ringing around the lair, a shout that could only be the home to one of Leo’s family members. 

“Is that your tart welding Father calling you?” She teased as Leo groaned, “No…it’s one of my brothers. Which one this time? I have no idea…” The shout of Leo’s name was heard again as the eldest turtle groaned irritably. 

“Yes?” The blue banded turtle called out but was only met with silence. I mean, what else is new? He was expecting no answer but it was still annoying. The turtle teen sighed, “One moment please.” He said as he muted himself on the phone. He got up from his bed, going into the middle of the room before yelling at the top of his lungs, “YES???”

“Yeesh. I’m right here, dude. No need to shout.” Raph smiled as he walked into the shared bedroom where the eldest sibling was. Leo only glared at him disapprovingly, crossing his arms against his plastron, “What do you want, Raph?”

“Damn. What did I do to get treated with such hostility?” 

Leo raised an unamused brow.

“I mean specifically!” 

“I told you guys a million times to not disturb me for the next hour!” The turtle in blue groaned as he rubbed his forehead, “I’m on a call with April doing homework— the homework you all refused to help me with.” 

“Y'know once you tell me things it goes in one ear and out the other, right? And besides, it’s not like I’m disrupting you or anything.” 

“You are!” Leonardo shouted, “I literally have myself muted on the phone right now because you decided to waltz in here like Godzilla!” 

“Would that…make you Kong?”

The eldest’s glare hardened, “Raphael.” 

“Alright, alright! Keep your shell on!” The other snickered, “Just felt like checking up on everyone. You weren’t topside or in the lounge area. So I figured you were in here.” The red banded turtle stated as he looked to the side, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully.  

The eldest’s eyes softened a bit at that, his crossed arms unfolding and then dropping to his sides. With the whole…fiasco that happened last summer, Raph has been checking up on the family more frequently as of now. 

And by 'more frequently', he means the everlasting second of the day. Which was more than Leo has ever done. And that’s saying a LOT. 

“I’m fine, Raph.” The leader in blue said, “Again…just on a call with April. You can…join us if you’d like. We’re gonna quickly finish our homework and then just chat. But don’t do or say anything stupid.” The eldest said jokingly as he offered the second youngest a smile. 

Raph nodded, squinting suspiciously a bit, “Well you changed your mind quick.” 

“I felt like being nice today.” Leo grinned, “So you gonna join or what?” 

“I appreciate the offer, but I just wanted to check up on you— I don’t wanna intrude on y'all…seriously.” He trailed off as his elder brother looked at him confused, huffing out a laugh of bewilderment, “Since when have you cared about intruding?” 

The red banded teen shrugged, still glancing to the side as Leo groaned loudly and dramatically, slinging one arm over Raph’s shoulder’s and squeezing him in a side hug tightly. With the height difference, the hug kind of looked like if Tom and Jerry were conjoined into one working being…although it was a hug nonetheless. 

“You wanted my wonderful and awesome attention so I’m giving it to you. Come on, Kool Aid Man. Let’s go.” The hazel eyed teen said as he dragged Raph to his bed. 

“Wait…what did you just call me?”

“Kool Aid Man. Get over it. It suits you.” 

.

.

.

.

.

.

“Raph…it was never that serious…” April sighed, looking at the second youngest who was pooling out buckets of the ocean from his eyes, but kept a straight face on the screen. The three teens were currently watching the very last episode of Steven Universe…for old times sake. 

And let’s just say the red banded turtle wasn’t taking it too kindly. 

“April’s right, man. Why are you sobbing like the crying emoji?” Leo cackled, resting his shell against the wall as Raph kicked him. “I AM NOT!” The hot-head yelled, wiping his eyes immediately after his brother asked, “These are manly tears…” 

“So…you are crying.” The young leader snickered. 

“Screw off, Nerdardo…!” The brown eyed teen groaned, scoffing as the credits played on the IPhone screen. “I fucking hate that show…it’s so fucking dumb…” He sobbed again, burying his face into the palm of his hands. 

The leader in blue sighed, patting his little brother’s shoulder as he looked at April, “See what I have to deal with?” 

The girl chortled, crossing her arms, “Must be soooo hard.” She mused and the girl smiled in amusement, slumping in her seat as she stopped screen-sharing on her phone, “So what do you guys wanna watch now?” 

“Uh…wanna watch that Netflix One Piece movie? I heard that Live Action isn’t…as bad as people say it is.” Leo offered as April scrolled through the different options Netflix had to offer.

“Hell to the no,” The red banded turtle immediately said, “I just escaped a 3 hour anime marathon with Don. I don’t want to see anything having to do with anime until I’m 90. Or when I die. Whichever comes first.”

The other turtle chuckled in amusement, “Fair enough.” He hummed, “What about…Avatar the Last Airbender? The series, of course.”

“You know damn well once we start watching it we won’t stop until we finish it.” April said. 

“True that…” Raphael commented. 

“Wait!” Leo gasped, “What if we watched a nostalgic movie instead? Like one we all haven’t seen in a long while?” The brown eyed mutant nodded at the idea, resting his shell on the wall as he grinned at the smaller turtle. “Alright…I’m picking up what you’re putting down here, brother. What’s your idea?”

“I didn’t…put anything down.” The elder turtle blinked confused. The red banded turtle huffed in amusement, patting his brother’s shoulder, “Oh, sweet summer child…” Leo rolled his eyes at the comment, brushing Raph’s hand off of his shoulder. 

“Oh! I know! What about Monster’s Inc—?” April started to say but was almost immediately shut down by the second oldest turtle, “Nope. Definitely not.”

“Huh? Why not? I love that movie!” The blue banded turtle groaned. 

“Yeah.” Raphael said to his older brother, “And you love Jennifer Tilly. Don’t forget that one time where you—“ Leo quickly hit his brother in the shoulder, not allowing him to finish the sentence and glaring at him profusely, “SHUT UP! It was one time! You don’t understand—!”

“—And I don’t want to!” The taller mutant declared, hitting Leo in the shoulder back. “Well, as a little kid you liked that ugly freaking fish from Shark Tales.” Leo added smugly. 

“…I will kick you again, Nardo. Don’t test me.” The red banded turtle threatened lightly. The glasses welding teen laughed, rolling her eyes, “I don’t even wanna know…” 

April suddenly then cracked her knuckles, adjusting her glasses so they were positioned correctly on her face (due to the fact it was slightly falling off and she can’t and won’t be caught lacking). “Alright y'all, hold on. Lemme lock in on this science assignment…” April muted herself, pulling out her laptop and becoming concentrated in her work.

The two brother’s patiently sat quietly, averting to their own conversation as they waited for their friend to finish her other homework. Leo let Raph have his yap session for a good, like, 2 seconds before the hazel eyed mutant went back to looking at his crush April. 

Raph looked at his brother knowingly, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly as the shorter turtle looked at him confused. 

“…what?” Leo said. 

“What what?” Raph said back. 

“You’re looking at me.” 

“And you’re looking at April~!”

“SSH SSH SHH! SHUT UP!” The young leader in blue screeched as a light blush appeared on his face. “Why don’t we…watch Avengers Endgame?” April suggested as she unmuted herself. 

Huh. She finished that science homework fast. And regarding that their science class is doing Physics right now, she probably used Chat GPT…

Leo’s eyes lit up at the suggestion as Raph groaned loudly, “No! No we are not.” The taller turtle said immediately, leaving no room for argument. The smaller turtle groaned back, crossing his arms in frustration. 

Raph facepalmed himself, due to the fact that this exact scene has played out anytime he tries to watch movies with his brother’s (and it’s a miracle that Donnie and/or Mikey weren’t here…or the call would last until the Earth exploded) “Leonardo. For the millionth time: Captain America is not a cool superhero! Like…at ALL!”  

“He’s a cool superhero to me!” Leo screeched. 

“Yeah! Only to you!” Raph glared as he jabbed Leo in the side. The smaller turtle screamed loudly in surprise, flinching away and covering his side with one arm as he hit Raph in the shoulder with the other. 

“Leo? You okay?” April asked, a tad bit concerned from the genuine scream her friend let out.  

“I’m fine!” Leonardo said through gritted teeth, “Just…trying to do my chores. Which reminds me: I need to take the trash out.” And with that, the leader in blue pushed his immediate younger brother off of the bed. He stuck the middle finger at him before facing the camera and pretending he didn’t just shove his brother to the abyss that was the side of his resting quarters. “You were saying?” He smiled sweetly at April. 

“Is Raph okay?” She asked, trying to stifle her laughs but finding the task extremely hard. “He’ll be fine.” The blue banded turtle simply said, looking to the side of him where Raphael layed. 

The turtle in question stuck the middle finger at him as Leo gladly did so back. April snickered at the two’s bickering, rolling her eyes fondly. Leo muted himself for, like, the millionth time during this call, turning to Raph, “Raphael.”

“That’s me.” 

The leader in blue’s eye twitched, “I know that’s you! That’s why I said your name!” The elder threw a pillow at his little brother who caught effortlessly. 

“Do not— I REPEAT: Do NOT tickle me in front of April, Raph!”

“Why not~?” Raphael snickered evilly like the little shit he proudly was. “Because it’s embarrassing!” Leo said as if his reasoning should’ve been obvious, “And besides, she needs to know that I have absolutely no weaknesses whatsoever!” 

“Nardo, I highly doubt she thinks that.” 

“What do you know anyway?” The hazel eyed mutant huffed, “Besides, I’m pretty sure she would appreciate talking about Captain America more than she would like to meet Hulk irl.”

Raph gasped, offended, “I DO NOT LOOK LIKE HULK AT ALL!”

Leo giggled amused, unmuting himself, “You said it, not me.” 

The glasses-wielding teen rolled her eyes, smirking at Leo, “Are done muting yourself now?” The blue banded teen nodded, “Yeah, sorry. Just needed to take care of a couple things…as you saw.” He gestured to Raph on the ground with his hand. 

“…I see.” April mused, “So. What now?”

“Now? Now I will show you something very interesting…” The red banded turtle said as he got up. 

Raph pulled his older brother closer to him on the bed by grabbing his ankle, dragging his body (pause...) to his chest as he put him in a small chokehold (one that wouldn’t hurt him of course). Leo sighed impatiently, hitting Raph’s arms like there was no tomorrow. 

“Raph, you’re so fucking annoying! Let GO of me!” The leader in blue growled which only caused the taller turtle’s grin to widen. “Hey, April? My friend, my pal, my amiga, my bud, my partner in crime…” He chuckled, “Can I let you in on a little secret?”

“Raph…” Leo warned.

“Well, not really a secret but just some cool info little Leonardo here hasn’t told you yet. He’s wanted to tell you for a long while but you know this dork, he’s shy.” 

“Raph!” Leo yelled, squirming left and right as he tried to get out of the small chokehold, inwardly dying from how embarrassing this was going to be. 

He would love to be tickled by April. Ever since they’ve become close friends that’s been the #1 thing to do on his bucket list: to tell her he was ticklish. Which sounds easy but it really wasn’t. Still isn’t. 

And no matter how many stretches or pokes he did, she would never get the clue. 

So, inevitably, he just gave up. Besides, April would freak the flip OUT if she heard his ‘getting tickled laugh’. Like, she’s heard his ‘normal laugh’ but his ‘getting TICKLED laugh???’ 

Because of his signature laugh, the hazel eyed mutant has been called Elmo, Peter Griffin, Scooby Doo…Patrick Star, the list goes ON. 

It would just be straight up HUMILIATING. She wouldn’t make fun of him of course but that sure as hell doesn’t mean she wouldn’t judge. What if he hit her too hard or he kicked her? 

And if he SNORTED?

Oh good grief Leo was going to absolutely die today…

The girl snickered, crossing her arms over her chest, intrigued on what this whole ‘secret’ was. “Oh? You’ve been hiding something from me, Nerdo?” Leo shook his head in response to the question, “He ihihis lying, April! Dohon’t listen toohoo this buffons lihies!” Great. And now he’s already laughing. 

“I am nohot a liar!” Raphael chuckled at his brother’s infectious laughter, “I’m aha truther. If anything yohou’re a liar for not telling April how embarrassingly ticklish you are.” The taller turtle mused, tickling Leo’s side with his free hand. 

Leonardo squawked loudly and then pursed his lips together in an attempt to not laugh. “Okay, Rio. Pop off.” April hummed, not seeming phased by the leader in blue’s predicament at all. The brown eyed turtle sighed knowingly at his immediate older brother’s behavior, shaking his head fondly, “You see here, April: this is what I call I liar right here.”

“Yohou’re the liahair!” Leo squeaked out but fell into a chorus of giggles as Raph’s tickling method changed from scribbling to his side to repetitive squeezes. “You were always more ticklish to squeezes than scribbles, you weirdo.” 

“Rahahaph nononoho!” 

“Raph yes yes yehehes.” Raphael playfully mocked. 

“Dohon’t doohoo thihis in frohont of April!” Leo despretley pleaded, kicking his legs on his mattress in a last attempt to get the sweet sweet taste of freedom. Raph rolled his eyes, “Oh please. You’re fiiiine. Besides, you love this sooooo I don’t even know why you’re complaining.” The young leader’s face burned in absolute humiliation…there was no way in all of Equestria’s three moons that Raph was doing this to him. 

No way. 

No how. 

“Oh yeah, that’s also a thing he forgot to tell you. He freaking loves this. It’s adorable really how much he denies the fact.” 

“Oh. He likes tickling?” April asked interested but there was also a hint of genuine interest to it. 

“Yeah. All of us do, really. Donnie thinks it’s because we quote on quote, ‘have a touch of the ‘tism’…whatever that means.” Raph remarked smugly, “But this chewed wad of green gum right here likes it most outta all of us, don’t you, Leo?” The hazel eyed teen shook his head, giggling softly and hiding his face in the crook of Raph’s neck. 

“See? He’s not even trying to get away.”

“YeHES Ihi ahAHAM!” 

“You’re squirming, doofus. If you reaaallly wanted to get away you would’ve whooped my shell by now. But you didn’t. Soooo I’m highly assuming you like it.” Raphael stated as he snuck his hand in his immediate older brother’s underarm which only caused Leo’s face to be practically conjoined with the side of the red banded turtle’s neck.  

Leo snorted, kicking his legs on the bed sheets, “M-My GAHASH! Rahaph yohou yahapper— shuhut UHUP!”

The red banded teen smirked, “I am a yapper, actually. Here, lemme demonstrate…” The taller turtle slipped his hand out of his brother’s underarm and just wiggled his fingers, “I’m gonna tickle you so bad, Nardo~! I’m gonna show April just how insanely ticklish you are~!”

The blue banded turtle snorted loudly, refusing to look anywhere that was not the floor. Gosh he was gonna get Raph BACK for this! 

Well, if he came out of this alive. 

“YohOU AHAsshole *snort* STAHAP!” The smaller mutant screeched, kicking his brother’s arm with his knee repetitively which Raph wasn’t phased by. Raph brought his hand down and scribbled all over the tops of Leo’s knees. “NAHAH! NAHAT *snort* THEHE KNEEHEES NAHAT *snort* THEHE KNEEHEES!!!” The smaller turtle panicked, his legs too tired to kick so he was just left to squirm with his torso.

Raphael huffed out a laugh of amusement, “I hope you’re taking notes of this, April.”

The girl in question giggled lightly, “I’ve been screen recording the whoooole time.” 

Raph winked knowingly at his brother, squeezing the top of his brother’s knees as if there was no tommorow. “RAHA— *snort* *snort* RAHAPH PLEHEASE NAHA— *snort *snort* NOHOHOHO!” 

April’s eyes widened at the new laugh she was being displayed with, but that newfound shock soon turned to newfound admiration. “Jeeheez…Leo can snort two times in a row?”

“Five if it’s on a good day.” Raph remarked. 

With all the leader in blue’s squirming, he was able to get out of the hold for approximately 0.2 seconds before Raph easily “recaptured” him. Although this time, Raph wrapped around one arm over Leo’s torso to hold his arms down to his arms down to his sides. The elder paled, knowing what was coming to him. 

Leo almost regretted even allowing Raph to join the call with him and April his EVIL little brother dug his fingers into his stomach. And without his arms, Leo was left completely defenseless and could not do anything but just laugh like he was your typical go-to NYC drug addict. 

“Tickle tickle tickle~!” Raph teased. The hazel eyed teen threw his head back as he let out loud, giddy cackles. It was honestly a surprise and a relief no one in the family came to check up on him. 

“DUHUDE SHUHU— *snort* *snort* *snort* DOHON’T SAHAY THAHAT!”

“Don’t say what, Gigglenardo? Tickle~?” Raph asked innocently. 

“GOHODAHAMMIT! YEHEHES!” 

“But it’s such a pog word! Tickletickletickletickle~!” The brown eyed turtle said as he now scribbled on his elder brother’s stomach. Leo let out a genuine Broadway actor scream before falling into his spiral of cackles. “My gohosh I didn’t know he was so ticklish…” April remarked which caused Raph to lightly chuckle, “You have no idea…” He said.

“Gitchie gitchie goo, Gigglenardo…”

“FAHAHACK— *snort* *snort* FUHUCK YOHOU!!!”

“I didn’t even say tickle this time!” Raph fake pouted, “But I guess I could since you miss me saying it so much~! Tickle tickle~! Kitchie kitchie coo~!”

The glasses wielding teen looked at her friend fondly, “Nardo I’ve never seen you laugh like this. We should do this more often.” She said as Leo’s face turned to the Earth’s core.  

Well…at least April seemed to geuniely like his laugh…? That’s a win. 

“RAHA— *snort* *snort* PLEHEHEASE!”

“Please~? Plehehease what, big bro~?”

The cackling turtle squealed, tears of joy being clearly seen in his eyes. “THIHIS IHIS MEEHEEAN!!!” He whined through his laughs as April and Raph fondly rolled their eyes. “Oho…I can show you mean, bro. I’m just using one hand and you’re already a squirmy, giggly mess. Imagine what it’ll be like if I used both of my hands…”

“BEEHEE QUIHIHIET!”

“Eh, you don’t have to imagine. I’ll just…” And with that, Raph scribbled against the side of the leader in blue’s ribs with both of his hands now. The hazel eyed teen immediately pulled his arms down, hugging his middles and just laughing hysterically. “Uh oh…Nardo, did I find a bad spot~?” Raph fake pondered as he scratched at his big brother’s lower ribs.

The brown eyed turtle looked at his friend, “April, you’re a news reporter, right? Tell me something about this new discovery!“ He said in a sudden sweet and innocent tone. “AHAPRIL AHAPRIL *snort* DOHOHON’T!” The blue banded turtle teen squeaked out but his pleas were ignored by the other two. 

April grabbed an Expo marker, putting it to her mouth as if it was a microphone as she adjusted her glasses again. “Hello, I am April O’Neil and I am reporting from The Splinterson’s room. As you can see, Leonardo– the small Mucinex mascot over there– is getting his shit absolutely wrecked by Shrek over here.” 

“HEY!” Raph shouted, offended, “I do not look like Shrek!”

“YOHOU *snort* KIHINDA—“ Leo started but was soon cut off as the red banded turtle started to squeeze at his hips. “No one asked you, Mr. Mucus.” Raphael huffed. 

“Other than the whole Shrek thing, I think that was a pretty good report. Thanks, Apes.”

“No probs, Raph.” 

“SHUHUT UP! THE BOHOTH OF *snort* *snort* YOHOU!” Leo snorted as April and Raph shared an amused look. Raph ceased his tickle onslaught on his brother, wrapping him in a hug and giving him a small noogie. Leo huffed as he caught his breath, glancing to the side to try and hide the smile on his face. 

“I screen recorded everything, Nardo. I hope you know that.” April grinned cheekily as Raph copied the grin as well. 

“And I hope you know that I hate the both of you…” The young leader giggled, swatting at Raph’s arms but didn’t hit with an attempt to hurt him.

“APRIL!” Mrs. O’Neil yelled from downstairs in April’s apartment, “COME DO YOUR LAUNDRY!” 

The girl in question groaned, looking to the side where her Mom was calling her, “MOM! I’M BUSYYYYYY! I CAN DO IT LATERRRRRR!!!” She whined. 

“APRIL O’NEIL!” Her Mom said in a warning tone.

The girl in glasses sighed, resting her cheek on her palm, “I gotta go before my Mom kills me, you guys.” She groaned, “April O’Neil out.” April concluded with emphasis as she left the call. Leo sighed, bringing a pillow to his face as he hid under his blankets, groaning loudly.

“I hate you so much…” 

“Oh you’ll be fiiiine. You should thank me. She is going to wreck your shit on Monday.” Raph nonchalantly said as Leo buried his face into the pillow deeper. 

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚FIN˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

(P.S.: If you enjoyed this fic, please reblog!!!)

#Ughh… #This was supposed to be a ficlet #A FICLET #THE VOICES THE VOICESSSS 👀👀🤯🤯 #Bruh Leo is so me #I literally just recited phrases I’ve said #AND RAPH… #BRUH U KNOW WHO U R 😭😭😭 #Based him off of like 3 ppl… #MWAH MWAH <33333333 #Mutant Mayhem tickle #Mutant Mayhem tickle fic #Tmnt tickle #Tmnt tickle fic #Lee!Leo #Ler!Raph #I was so tempted not to make Raph say “Skibidi toilet” #I WAS SSOOOOOO TEMPTED #YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA. #But I need to stop acting like I’m from Gen Alpha bruh #It’s actually sad #But just wait until I write MM Mikey… #Now HES a Gen Alpha kid… #AND DONNIE⁉️⁉️⁉️ #HES THE DEFINITION OF GEN ALPHA‼️‼️‼️ #Mutant Mayhem tickle fanfiction

[suppressiveperson]

The Way I Am

6k words • Read on Ao3

There’s a black hole in Stan’s kitchen, a question that chases Kenny around, and something haunting Kyle in the static.

#I hope some of you enjoy this!! I liked writing it and weaving together all the ideas I had while making the pics this is based on #it was a fun exercise in synthesising visual ideas into written ones #my art #my fic #south park #south park fanart #sp kyle #kyle brovlofski #sp stan #stan marsh #sp kenny #kenny mccormick #I am not a regular fic writer btw this is literally a once in three year event from me #so like. don’t ever expect anything more than this. it’s not happening

[little-mouse-adventures]

A Timeline of Events in the Artemis Fowl Series

If anyone's interested, I did do an actual analysis for where I pulled some of these dates from. But because I cannot type succinctly to save my life, it's 5,000 words long, so that's below the cut. I also put the timeline there again, but in three separate images, so hopefully they load well enough to be fully legible if the above isn't.

A thousand thanks to @sadbitchapologist and @zahnie for their help and advice with this, despite neither of them having any more than the barest interest in the series and therefore having no clue what I was on about. Thanks also to @orangerosebush for fielding completely out-of-the-blue questions about the French school system, so I didn't have to attempt to navigate web search results to figure out what mandatory gym classes were like for the sole purpose of plotting Luc's birthday on here.

An Analysis of the Timelines in the Artemis Fowl Series

A Brief Introduction

The Artemis Fowl series is made up of eight books covering a range of years and events. I wanted to see how accurate the timelines present in the books were, as well as try and plot out some other details implied in the novels but not explicitly stated, to have a better understanding of the overall world-building. To that end, I went through the series and made the above timeline. I colour-coded it based on the relevance of the specific items to certain categories, namely Humans, Fairies, Villains, and the Series itself. This does mean that some things could have fit into multiple categories. For instance, you will see some items involving Opal categorized as Fairy-Specific (such as her college years, as those are fairly neutral to the main plot or her villainy), Villain-Specific (such as her setting up her emergency fund, as that is mostly related to her schemes as opposed to relevant to her existence as a fairy, or part of the main plot of the series), and Plot-Specific (such as her opening the Berserker Gate, the primary plot point for the final book).

Before we really delve into things though, we should establish the baseline assumptions I was working with. Firstly, I am only using the original series. I have not used anything written in The Fowl Twins trilogy, given that those books seem to ret-con a considerable amount of the original information, and that is far too many headaches to give myself. Any supplemental series information, such as the short stories found in The Artemis Fowl Files, or anything from interviews is also not included. The premise here is: using just the original books, what is the event timeline of the world? The second thing we need to establish is that I am using the North American releases of the novels. I did make notes on where each bit of information comes from, but there isn’t really a citation style for this kind of thing, so I’m not sure how relevant that is. The third assumption is that the first book takes place the year it was originally published. According to my copy, the original publication was 2001, with the first American paperback edition coming out in 2002, and the first mass market paperback being released in 2003. This means our starting point is in 2001.

For sake of clarity, this analysis will start with setting the dates of the books and continue on from there.

The Basics of The Books

With that out of the way, let’s talk about the first book, Artemis Fowl (AF). It is actually not until the very end of the book that we get a solid answer for when it takes place. It’s only in the last few pages of the novel that Angeline Fowl leaves her attic room after all the plot points are tied up and announces that it is Christmas Day. This might be cause for concern – Angeline had not previously been established as a particularly reliable narrator – but given that we are asked to believe that Holly’s ‘feel better’ mood booster worked, and that neither Butler nor Artemis balk at or question the pronouncement that is Christmas Day, we’ll accept that it’s true and move on. This means that, with Butler’s earlier announcement that he was stuck doing four months of stakeout, we can say with a fair amount of certainty that Artemis obtained and translated the Fairy Book in September 2001, and managed to capture a fairy in December of the same year.

Moving on to Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident (TAI), we are given a decent chunk of information, albeit spread out a bit. The first is the announcement that the ransom drop for Artemis Fowl I is to be held on the fourteenth. The fourteenth of what, you might ask? Well, we are told that Artemis is currently thirteen years old. Clearly, things are past September 1, 2002 (we know Artemis’s birthday is September 1 based on information in both the fifth and seventh books). We are also told that Luc Carrere has been trading with the goblins for six months, starting in July. That puts us in either December or January, but we can narrow it down further since Artemis gives us another helpful clue. He mentions they are not expecting to see the dawn while attempting to rescue his father in the Arctic. There are only a few latitudes on Earth where polar night (of any type) occurs, and at Murmansk, polar twilight occurs between December 10 – January 2. Combining all of this, we learn that TAI takes place December 14, 2002, give or take a few days to either side.

This can be corroborated by information in Book 3, Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code (TEC). After Holly heals Artemis Senior, we are told that it takes over two months for him to wake up. Since we are specifically told two months, as opposed to two and a half or three, we can conclude that the events of TEC take place in March 2003. Mulch gives us some information that confirms this. He was living in LA “less than four months ago,” and since he was conscripted to help with the events of TAI in December, a March plotline fits the bill. We are given further confirmation as well: Spiro mentions that Artemis will be fourteen in six months. A specific date for Artemis & Co.’s attack on Spiro’s Needle can be pulled from the throw-away line that Pex and Chips are “burying” Mulch on the full moon. A quick web search tells us that the full moon in March of 2003 takes place on March 14, and the rest of the events in the novel take place roughly two days to either side of that.

In Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception (TOD), the fourth book in the series, we are given several very clear indications of when the events take place. Firstly, Artemis is contemplating that at fourteen years and three months old, he is the youngest person to successfully obtain The Fairy Thief. Based on previously noted details that his birthday is in September, the events of TOD must take place in December of 2003. Additionally, we are told that things are the middle of winter and Opal has been in a coma for eleven months and counting as of the end of TAI, another December plot.

Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony (TLC) requires the most math and interpretation so far to figure out when it takes place. We know Artemis is still fourteen, so the main events clearly happen sometime between January 2004 and September 2004. Beyond that, we are using a fair amount of context clues. Artemis and Butler have evidently been traveling for four months looking for demons, so we are dealing with events in at least May. But that still leaves us several summertime months to work with, so to establish a timeline here, we will need to look forward a bit. In the sixth book, Artemis Fowl: The Time Paradox (TTP), it’s noted that Artemis is not yet fifteen, and has, on multiple occasions, spent the full moon in the study. Ergo, he’s spent at least a few months back from Hybras. If he has been back for two months and not yet turned fifteen, he would have had to have returned by July at the latest, and since he returns almost three years later than he leaves, we are looking at him returning in either May or June. This would have him disappearing to Hybras – and by extension, dealing with the earlier events in the book – in June, July, or August. After his conversation with Minerva, he notes to Butler that they “are planning a June wedding,” which wouldn’t make sense to say if they were currently in the month of June. From all of this, we can extrapolate that the first three-quarters of TLC take place in late July or early August 2004, with the triumphant return of our intrepid heroes occurring in June 2007.

As previously stated, TTP mentions that Artemis is still not fifteen, but is nearly there. He has also been home again for at least two months. This would put the events of the sixth book in August 2007. At least, the events set in the current time period. TTP does bring back time travel, and with it some problems. We are told that Artemis and Holly jump back nearly eight years to Artemis being ten and trying to fund searches for his missing father. This would put the events of the past in early 2000. However, other details presented regarding Artemis Senior’s disappearance, which we will discuss later, make that impossible. Artemis also admits, in TEC, that he was eleven when his father disappeared, not ten. If we take a bit of creative license with our interpretations and base the time-jump to the past on other presented information as opposed to the dates given in TTP, we can say that Holly and Artemis instead return to early 2001. This lines up with further details, such as the sinking of the Fowl Star (as calculated a few paragraphs down in this analysis) occurring in December of 2000, and the textual confirmation in TTP that it’s barely two months past that sinking when Artemis brokers the deal(s) regarding the silky sifaka lemur. Since, at the end of the day, the time jump impacts very little in the grand scheme of things, and the year 2001 actually fits in better with other textual evidence and events, that’s what I’m going with for this timeline.

The seventh book, Artemis Fowl: The Atlantis Complex (TAC) gives us a very helpful base point! It takes place on Artemis’s fifteenth birthday, September 1. From our previous results on setting dates for book events, that would be September 1, 2007. The sections in which Butler and Juliet are fighting mesmerized wrestling fans and meeting up with Mulch are noted in the novel as happening “the day before,” which would fall on August 31, 2007.

Artemis Fowl: The Last Guardian (TLG), the eighth and final book in the series, creates some problems. If we assume that Artemis starts receiving treatment for his Atlantis Complex immediately after diagnosis in TAC¸ that would put him receiving treatment in September 2007. We are told he is certified as cured after six months. Yet we are also told that the rest of the events of the book take place in the week or so leading up to the Christmas holidays. Everything so far has said that the Artemis Fowl series follows the current calendar, in which case there is no way that six months can fit between September 1, 2007 and December 25, 2007. However, the only reference to Christmas is in two lines noting that the Fowl parents were planning on holidaying with their children on a foreign beach. If we simply say that six months have passed, and they are instead planning on spending the Irish school system’s spring holidays in the French Riviera, everything else lines up much better. So that’s what I’ve done. This would also put the resurrection of Artemis, after the events of the book and a further six months have passed, at roughly September of 2008. There is a pleasing symmetry to Artemis being born and then re-born in September, though if you want to get really technical and say the events of TLG take place during the 2008 March full moon as Opal claims (as noted in another web search as March 28), a six-month wait time for the clone to grow would put the resurrection in October. Still, there is something to be said for having a boy’s ghost haunting a clone of himself close to All Hallows. Since it’s the last plot point of the series, you can choose which you’d like; it doesn’t have to lead to anything else after it.

Let’s Talk Timelines: The Beginning of the Line to The End of The 19th Century

Now that we have our baseline book time periods established, we can get into the math used to determine some of the events in the timeline above. Several events are easy; we are given specific dates for them. Turnball Root meets Leonor in 1938, Juliet wins the Miss Sugar Beet Fair beauty contest in 1999. Other things are based on some basic math, such as Artemis claiming his parents got married fourteen years prior to AF¸ putting that event in 1987.

The majority of the items on the above timeline, however, do take some mathematics, extrapolation, and interpretation to plot out. To try and keep everything organized, we’ll start at the far left of the timeline, and work our way forwards, looking at events oldest-to-newest to explain why they are where they are on the graph. I won’t be getting too in-depth on everything in the graph, since I’m not sure how relevant the notes on the very minor side characters such as Carla Frazetti are, but I’ll at least try to touch on some of the more relevant points.

To start with, the Battle of Taillte was noted in the 2000’s as being ten thousand years ago, putting that at 8000 BCE. Similarly, the last dome breach at Atlantis was apparently eight thousand years ago in the 2000’s, so that would be 6000 BCE. Troll sideshows were legal in the early middle ages, which implies they were not legal after that. A quick web search says the early middle ages ended around 1000. The first crusades were in 1096-1099, and as those crusades are the start point of the Butler-Fowl working relationship, a point for noting that comes next on the graph.

From there, we get into more modern – relatively speaking – events. Briar Cudgeon and Julius Root are noted as attending the LEP Academy together and being raised in the same tunnel, as well as having about 600 years of history together. If one assumes “being raised in the same tunnel” is similar to the human equivalent of “growing up in the same neighbourhood,” we can assume the two were born roughly 600 years ago, in the 1400’s. Vinyaya is portrayed as being of a similar age to Root, so her birth can also be put in the same general era. We are also told that Fowl Manor was originally a castle built in the fifteenth century, that in the early 2000’s the theories of timeline corruption were first introduced over five centuries ago, and that cloning has been banned for over five hundred years, so those three events are also tossed into the 1400’s.

Julius Root is noted as doing his LEP basic training 500 years ago in Ireland, so that would have to be in the 1500’s. He would have attended the Academy before then, putting that in the mid-to-late 1400’s. As previously stated, he was in the Academy with Cudgeon. Opal also met Cudgeon in college, and competed with Foaly for science prizes there, so they were all in school at the same time.

Mulch now enters the picture. We aren’t ever given a specific age range for him, but we are told about his career. He has, apparently, spent three centuries in and out of prison after a couple centuries of success as a thief. This would make him at least five hundred years old. There is a brief mention that he tried the athletic route at college before becoming a thief, so he would have to be an adult at that point, putting his age at roughly 550 years during the events of the series.

We then enter a period filled in from one-off lines throughout the series, presumably added to give some depth to the world. Things about the wine cellar at Fowl Manor being a seventeenth century addition, Captain Eusebius Fowl and his crew dying in the eighteenth century, and Mulch first faking his own death over two hundred years ago.

Time Marches On: The 20th Century

There is nothing of much relevance to linger on between the 1550’s and the 20th century, so we’ll jump ahead to the 1900’s, when we have Holly Short’s birthday. She is in her eighties during TLC, and her father died “over twenty years ago” when she was “barely sixty” as of TAI. Based on that, she would have been in her early eighties in 2002, putting her birthday sometime in the 1920’s. What a doll.

A few more birthdays now appear, and we’ll ignore, for the most part, some of the irrelevant ones. I don’t think we are at all concerned with Gaspard Paradizo’s birthday, or Mikhael Vassikin. We are, however, rather more interested in Jon Spiro, Domovoi Butler, and Artemis Fowl I.

Jon Spiro enters the series in TEC, as a middle-aged American. A quick search on the Internet says that middle age is generally noted as being between the ages of 40 to 60. We are told that Spiro has worked in three main industries over the past two and a half decades. Additionally, we are told that law enforcement has been “trying to put [him] away for thirty years.” If we assume he entered the working world at twenty, spent five years developing his professional self, and then started going down a path of questionable legality to get the police after him, that would put him at fifty-five in 2003, and born in the late 1940’s.

It was a bit easier to determine Domovoi Butler’s age, and we can get more specific with his actual birthday. We are told that he is forty at the start of TEC, and he is still forty during TOD. From that, we can assume his birthday is not between March – December, which means it has to be between January – March. Now, we can just leave things there, but contextually, Butler says in late March 2003 that “a lot of people know [him] as a forty-year old man.” Since I doubt he’s the kind of person who introduces himself by announcing that his birthday was last week, we can assume that his birthday is not in March. Since about half the books in the series take place in December, and there is never any mention of Butler’s birthday coming up soon, we can likely assume it isn’t in January. We can therefore conclude Butler was born in February, 40 years before 2003, which puts his birth year in 1963.

We then have Artemis Fowl I. This one took the most extrapolation to determine. We know he has run an ethical empire for a few years as of 2007, which coincides with his return to his family after being kidnapped by the Mafia. He apparently ran a successful criminal empire for two decades before that, though, so in 2007 he has been working for at least 25 years. Based on the interactions he had with his own son, I’ve assumed he was also taught to take over the family business from a young age. If he started working at his age of majority at 18 (as possible in the 1980’s in Ireland, based on a web search), we can assume he was born in roughly the mid 60’s.

Billy Kong, born Jonah Lee, is one to touch on. He plays a large role in TLC, during which we are given possibly the most backstory of any villain in the series. He was evidently born in the early 1970’s, and was eight years old in the early 1980’s. Mathematically, that can only lend itself to so many birth years, so it’s easy enough to put his birthdate somewhere in 1973, and his brother’s death date in 1981.

While we’re here, let’s talk about the 1980’s. A lot of things happen in the 80’s, so we’ll be here for a few paragraphs. Butler would have graduated Madam Ko’s Academy in the early ‘80s, Artemis I would have started working in his family’s business and stolen some warrior mummies (of note, the theft is only noted as being in Artemis Sr.’s “gangster days,” but if you are a young, rich criminal, you’d likely commit a wild theft in your early years as opposed to your thirties, which is why this is put in here). Additionally, in the mid 1980’s, Holly graduates the LEP Academy and her mother dies, as noted in TTP when she is contemplating missing three years of her friends lives.

Butler would have started his five-year stint in Russia with an espionage unit in the mid-to-late 80’s, and become a big brother in 1985. Juliet is noted at being four years older than Artemis in AF in 2001, and he is twelve then, making her sixteen at the time. We can extrapolate the month from TEC, wherein she is apparently eighteen when she is called regarding her brother’s apparent death. At the time, we are told what gifts she received for her birthday, implying it was fairly recent. Additionally, Artemis was only thirteen at that time, which would make Juliet five years older than Artemis. If, however, we trust that acolytes at Madam Ko’s start their training on their tenth birthday and get one chance to graduate per year, it would make sense for that one chance to be on their birthday, or within a day or two to allow for as much training time as possible. Since Juliet was in the midst of this one graduation evaluation when she gets the phone call and joins the crew for the March heist at Spiro’s Needle, she’d have to be born in March. (We can also corroborate this with some details from AF: if AF  takes place in mid-September, that would be just after Artemis’s birthday, which puts the 4-year age difference back into play.)

Spelltropy begins for the People in 1987, if it appeared 20 years ago from 2007. Artemis I and Angeline Fowl would get married in 1987. They would have their first child, Artemis Fowl II, in 1989, as calculated by Artemis being twelve during the initial siege of the Manor in December 2001. Artemis II’s grandfather was noted as having been dead for over ten years at that point, and it was mentioned in TEC that Angeline married her husband before he really took over the family business, so those events would likely happen when Artemis was but a baby in 1990.

The ‘90s are a period where a lot of things are happening, but few are particularly important. Spelltropy has a cure found, Minerva Paradizo is born, Juliet begins her bodyguard training and her brother refuses to let her shave her hair. These, and other events in the 90’s, are mostly calculated by math along the lines of “Event A happened X number of years ago,” but since the 90’s was mostly a time of worldbuilding events rather than plot events, we’ll just skim over the specific details.

‘You Are Here’: The 21st Century, and Where The Storytelling Begins

Welcome to the 2000’s! The kick-off point of not only the 2000’s, but also the entire series, is the sinking of the Fowl Star. We aren’t given a specific date for this, but we are given enough information to extrapolate the date. Specifically, in September 2001, in AF, we are told Fowl Sr. has been missing for almost a year. In TAI, in December, we are told he has been missing for almost two years. That does have the potential to have the ship go down in either December or January, so we need to use a bit more details from TAI to make a final determination. Mikhael Vassikin and Kamar were told to dump Fowl’s body in the Kola if he didn’t wake up in “another year,” so they’ve been looking after him for one at that point. Fowl Sr. wakes up two weeks before the deadline, and as noted earlier, the ransom drop for him takes place December 14, after he has been awake for perhaps a week. From that, we can tell that the deadline for “another year” was mid to late December, putting the initial sinking of the Fowl Star in late 2000.

The analysis gets a bit confusing at this point, because 2001 is when future Artemis and Holly join the party via time travel, as well as having their regular selves in the timestream. Essentially, we’ve established the timeline for the events of TTP above, so we know the whole lemur fiasco takes place in March 2001. Artemis wakes up at the end of that book thinking about fairies, which ties in rather neatly to him then dragging Butler across three continents for six false alarms (with an assumed approximate 3 weeks between each jaunt) before striking metaphorical gold in Ho Chi Minh City in September. During their time-traveling, Holly also gets a chance to talk to Root, who wonders why she isn’t in Hamburg, which was noted in AF as Holly’s first major failure as a Recon officer and was nearly preceding the events of AF. The time-traveling would also mean that Opal would have had to harvest her DNA for future diabolical plans before March 2001, when her younger self travels to the future. Since it takes up to two years to grow a clone to adulthood, and her clone has to be ready in September 2003, we are a few months off in the time requirements, but really, for a practice that’s been outlawed for 500 years, I can offer a bit of leeway.

We are now well and truly in the thick of the main events of the series. Most of this will be tied into the initial assessments we made way at the beginning of this essay, where we established when each book occurs. Because of this, we aren’t going to spend time on anything plot-related. However, a brief note on Turnball Root and Artemis’s Atlantis Complex is likely in order. Artemis was, as previously stated, dealing with his return from Hybras and the after-effects of stealing magic during July and August of 2007. His Atlantis Complex, and Turnball Root’s plan to escape the Deeps prison, are in full swing in September of that year. We have a brief note in TAC during the evacuation of Atlantis, that Turnball had, a month before, spied on Artemis and noted his Atlantis Complex developing. Therefore, Artemis’s Complex likely came into play in late July or early August 2007. This is close enough to Artemis’s magic theft to make sense for the deterioration of his mental health, and enough time for Butler to have started to notice something was wrong, as he did. We can therefore assume that Atlantis Complex, at least in the case of magic-stealing humans who have a propensity for time travel and getting involved in supremely complicated and improbable plots, develops relatively quickly.

This leaves just one major discussion point from the last few books: the age of Artemis’s twin brothers, Beckett and Myles. The twins are first introduced at the very end of TLC. They are written as being two during the events of TTP, three during the events of TAC, and four during the events of TLG. Regardless of the time-traveling shenanigans of their elder brother, it is impossible for the twins to age two years in the eight months between Artemis’s return from Hybras in June 2007 and the finale of the series in March of 2008, so we need to look at what makes sense.

Myles has already potty-trained himself, and done so at fourteen months, so they must be at least that old. Their other behaviours would make sense for them to be two in TTP. Diapers are still a part of their lives, and their language and vocabulary fit what a two-year-old would have, at least in Beckett’s case. Since Artemis was surprised by their existence, it doesn’t seem likely that  Angeline would have known she was pregnant, or at least not have told Artemis yet, when he went to Limbo. Ergo, they can’t be any older than two, since (one would hope) Artemis would have noticed his mother’s pregnancy if the twins were any older.

Additionally, in TLG, we know Artemis gave his brother a birthday present, so he had to have been around during the twin’s birthday at least once. With this fact, the twins cannot be born between March – June, which just leaves the question of when are the twins born?

 The most logical answer is February 2005. If Angeline was early on in her pregnancy, say six weeks (which is when most women start noticing symptoms), when Artemis disappeared in July 2004, she wouldn’t necessarily have told him yet. Then, if we assume that since most twin births occur around the 35-week mark, that would math out to having the twins be born in February of 2005. Fast forward, and they would turn one in February 2006, and two in February 2007, which puts them at the correct age for the events of TTP. [One could argue, of course, that a twin pregnancy in an older woman (unfortunately, there is nothing in the series to indicate Angeline’s age) and in a woman already dealing with significant stress could result in a very premature birth, thereby voiding any of this math and leaving the whole question of the twin’s birthday unanswered. However, since I’d rather not subject the Fowl parents to the strife and misery of having one son missing and presumed dead, and their younger children in the NICU with a low survival rate, I’m working with the assumption that the pregnancy was a healthy and normal one.]

The brief comment from Juliet in TAC about the twins being three can be passed off by them being a little over two-and-a-half and Juliet not being around as she is touring in Mexico. By the time TLG takes place, in March of 2008, the twins would have had their third birthday, allowing for Artemis to give Myles his chair as a birthday present, Beckett to be old enough to no longer need diapers, and the behaviours to act more like children than infants. While this doesn’t quite allow for the repeated textual confirmations in TLG that the twins are four, we’ll go with what mathematically makes sense.

That brings us to the end of the timeline! Not everything is touched on in the timeline, and not everything in the books is plotted (we are never given enough context to know Foaly’s or Opal’s birthdates, for instance). But the main events of the Artemis Fowl series are all analyzed, mathematically or logically or textually corroborated, and plotted out, for use or ignoring as personal preference dictates.

#artemis fowl #af timeline #you have no idea how irritated I am that there is nothing - NOTHING - in the series to give ANY context #on the ages for Angeline Fowl or Arno Blunt or Damon Kronski. #i can make GUESSES but they would be entirely based on my own bias and thoughts and vibes #which is INTENSELY irritating because i have basically EVERYONE ELSE #on the timeline SOMEWHERE #oh well. i think i have most of the events of the series on there? #if i missed something i'd love it if someone could point it out so i have a complete 'map' #oh though to be clear: i did very much do this for me! #this isn't meant to like...take away anyone's headcanons or ideas or whatever #if you wanna do something that directly contradicts the above - go for it! #i am just - as my cousin put it - 'that kind of fic writer' in which i will do insane amounts of research for the smallest of details #the one i wanted this for is honestly in a fic i haven't even started #and that is in fact several ticks down the Want To Write list #but that's neither here nor there! #i now have an outline of when things happen so i can do whatever i want with it :)

[tiny-chubby-bird]

So like a normal person I got kind of curious and looked at the names of the petrified drow so I could try looking for possible name meanings, but I'm no drow expert. I could only look at the Drow Names site and hope for any similarities. These are my best guesses:

Dhourn (Dhaun: infested, plague. Houn: magic, trail, way)

Izwae (izz: hidden, mask, masked. Wae: heir, inheritor, princess)

Moy (May: beautiful, beauty, silver. Mol: blue, storm, thunder, wind. oj: aura, cloak, hide, skin)

Arcagh (word arc: curve, bow. Akor/Alak: beloved, best, first. agh: breaker, destruction, end, omega)

Tecothy (like Timothy? Teb: blade, sharp, sword)

Artimezt (Inspired by Artemis maybe? zt: finder, hunter)

Important to note that some of the similar words/names I found and used here are the feminine versions, and I remember seeing a detailed post somewhere in which someone took Kar'niss' name and tried to translate it, in which they also mentioned what it means if a male drow uses a feminine name version, but I forgot...

#drowposting #bg3 drow #dnd drow #my personal favourite has to be arcagh #that's a great name lmao #like gagging and exclaiming “argh!” #i rlly wanna write a fic with these guys some day :( #no idea what but i'm kinda getting attached #why am i always like this #i always pick out some npcs that barely have any lines or info about them #and then get sorta obsessed #maybe because it's fun to interpret? #like it's fun to take a character with barely any info and just make up your own shit based on the little info you have #anyway i'm super normal about this

[thecowboykatsuki-anon]

Pro Hero Bakugou who loses a bet with his friends and has to wear Deku’s merch to his next photo shoot. No problem, he doesn’t really care.

Except his next shoot is with the photographer he’s been crushing on for months, but can’t seem to get up the nerve to ask out.

To make it worse, you’re a Deku fan.

It only takes about 10 minutes of you chattering excitedly about Deku and how cool it is that he has all this merch when he decides he’s had enough.

So he makes it his sexiest shoot yet, exposing more skin than he ever has for any other photographer, until you’re mostly silent behind the camera, cheeks red as you quietly call out instructions.

By the time it’s over, he’s pulling the limited edition shirt over his head and handing it to you with a wink, “yknow, since you’re such a big fan of Deku’s.”

He may not have asked you out like he planned, but the red tinge on your cheeks and the subtle way you pressed your thighs together when he stripped are enough for him for the time being.

#mha #cowboy anon writes #t writes #bakugo katsuki #thecowboyanon writes #bnha bakugou #bakugo x reader #Bakugou x you #pro hero bakugou #Bakugou fic #Bakugou fluff #I may or may not be drawing the thing based on this idea I had #maybe

[teecupangel]

What do you call a cowboy Ezio? Spaghetti western. Spaghetti” Westerns are a subgenre of Westerns whose name references the circumstances and location of their filming. Generally, a Spaghetti Western is a low-budget film produced by Italian directors (hence the “spaghetti” connection) and filmed in Europe, primarily in Almería and the Tabernas Desert.Feb 18, 2022.

Being in a Spaghetti Western makes me think of an actor AU where Ezio is a popular actor in Italy who gets the part of a major character in a Spaghetti Western movie. The main draw of the film is, of course, the leading man who goes by the name “Connor” (real name is kept a secret because he likes his privacy).

The film is a revenge story of a man who lost his tribe (including his mother), burned to the ground by a certain group for nefarious means and he hunts them down one by one.

Ezio plays the main character’s final target, the “Sheriff Jack O’Leary”, the leader of the group.

The twist of the story is that Ezio’s and Connor’s characters are actually father and son.

The bigger twist is that Ezio’s character didn’t even sign off on the burning of the village, his group did that on the orders of a high ranking politician that was helping the main character is finding this group.

A tale of betrayal and revenge with a downer ending of the main character killing his father because they could not find a middle ground.

Ezio was having fun. He was Italy’s darling, known for playing handsome charming men that women (and men) swooned over. So to play what could be considered as the main villain (or the secondary main villain to the politician pretending to be good) was good for him.

Along the way, he gets close to the cast and crew, even becoming something akin to an older brother to the leading man (who finally tells him his real name is Ratonhnhaké:ton and he chose the name ‘Connor’ as a tribute to a senior of his that supported and encouraged him when he was doing theater before).

Unorganized Notes:

Leonardo is the set director and he’s super passionate about it. He’s a big fan of western movies and an even bigger fan of sci fi movies.

Machiavelli is the director and he’s quite the perfectionist. On the other hand, he had worked with Ezio before and they get along.

Federico works as Ezio’s agent and PA in one, mostly because he’s worried about his little brother and also because he doesn’t want to become the next CEO of the Auditore Bank. Claudia can have that.

Ratonhnhaké:ton’s agent is a man only known as “Mr. Cormac”. He’s also Ratonhnhaké:ton’s bodyguard and Ratonhnhaké:ton admitted to Ezio later on that his father was the one who employed “Mr. Cormac”. “To keep an eye on you?” “To make up for the decades of parental neglect he believes he committed even though he didn’t even know I existed back then.”

The script is written by Altaïr under the pseudonym Philip S. He’s a well known scriptwriter who churn up lots of scripts a year and just give them to whoever wants them. No one has ever seen his face. Whenever he has to get an award for his script or asks for a meeting, some poor guy named Desmond Miles would appear, apologize for his boss’ rude behaviors and then just do whatever was needed. Some rumors say Philip S is a woman and that’s why they don’t want to make an appearance. No. Altaïr just don’t want to mingle with people he doesn’t know or even like. He just likes to write. Desmond is actually his secretary/live-in houseworker who got the job because no one else could stay as Altaïr’s houseworker long enough to learn Altaïr was also a writer. The pay is good, Desmond doesn’t need to pay for bills since he lives in Altaïr’s house and sometimes Altaïr’s hot childhood friend visits to make sure Altaïr hasn’t died yet (his words, not Desmond’s) so the view is nice.

Haytham Kenway may or may not be producing the film under one of his shell companies. No one is really sure what the Kenway family does but it’s Hollywood during the mid 60s so… it’s shady af.

Kaniehtí:io is alive and is supportive of her son’s rising popularity while being worried about him. She and Haytham never married and she never actually told him about Ratonhnhaké:ton. Haytham only learned about him after Ratonhnhaké:ton became a movie star.

Yes, Ratonhnhaké:ton started in theater (as a child actor) and Connor Davenport took him in as his ‘protege’. Connor Davenport, unfortunately, died (Hollywood drama)

#connor is used in the narration because that’s ratonhnhaké:ton’s stage name #the name of ezio’s character is based on the names of characters’ adrian hough played #i'm sorry nonny if you wanted an actual western au with ezio #if i did that it'll probably be like rdr or rdr2 lol #let me know if you want that though and i'll write an idea XD #assassin's creed #ezio auditore #ratonhnhaké:ton #connor kenway #altaïr ibn la'ahad #desmond miles #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #leonardo da vinci #niccolo machiavelli #haytham kenway

[horsechestnut]

(Whoops my hand slipped and started writing a Batfam Umbrella Academy AU)

From the Personal Notes of Mr. Bruce Wayne:

00.01 - Ability to manipulate gravitational fields allows for advanced gymnastic and combat capabilities. A strong leader, the others look up to him. Loyal to a fault, but needs to be watched carefully. Will choose the other children over himself or me.

00.02 - Determined, focused, strong willed. Has learned to use her ability to analyze the surroundings and formulate a plan prior to attack. Unfortunately lacks any leadership qualities and fails to communicate these plans to the team, preferring to act alone. Still has much to learn, but is eager to do so. My favorite.

00.03 - Adequate marksmanship and proficiency with ranged weapons. Can hold his own in a fight but relies to heavily on his powers. Insolent, can not take instruction or direction. His recklessness will be his undoing.

00.04 - Development of photokinesis is hindered by his unwillingness to fully commit to manipulating shadows as well as light. Charming and a neutral leader. Should Number 1 ever fail, he would be the best choice to replace him.

00.05 - Connection to animals has yet to prove useful. Fighting skills and determination on par with Number 2, but is unpredictable at best. Refuses to admit when he doesn’t know something. Has no respect for anyone but himself.

00.06 - Still fails to reach the full potential of psychometry abilities. Refuses to accept the possibility that he may be able to see into the future as well as the past. Useful for research and not much else.

00.07 - No clear talents. Some enthusiasm for puzzles and mediocre problem solving abilities. To headstrong. Irritating.

#batfam au #batfam #batfamily #umbrella academy au #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian wayne #cassandra cain #duke thomas #(Barbara is also there but she's not one of The Umbrella Academy kids) #bruce wayne #Bruce is maybe a little more harsh here than normal #but it's based on the picture of Reginald's notes #so i tried to mimic his style of writing #(really want to make a full fic but can't quite figure out what Steph's power is yet) #(also with the exception of Dick I haven't really read many comics about any of them) #(so I'm a little scared I'd end up using fanon characterizations by accident and I don't want to do that) #if you want to talk about it though please hit me up I've got so many ideas and for it I'd love to share #(also sorry to my followers I know I already posted this but that was a reblog and I spent a lot of time on it) #(So I want to actually give it a shot at being a successful post) #batfamily umbrella academy au #the bat academy au

[radioactivepeasant]

Snippets: Free Day Thursday

Ok, part 2!

Part One Here

(Warning for brief violence)

"Okay!" Daxter snapped, flinging a piece of a lever to the ground in disgust, "That is the last time I ever, ever, touch any more stupid Precursor crap!"

Jak would have responded, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the strange place they had fallen into. Hard stone covered the ground in even, flat surfaces, like walking paths made of one solid piece. They matched the gray of drab huts built four or five levels high -- fortresses? -- with equally flat tops and windows covered in a thin, reflective material of some kind. Everything smelled like rotting garbage and the exhaust fumes of his zoomer! What kind of dead ruin was this?

A ruin, perhaps, but hardly a dead one.

Zoomers in bright colors and sleek shapes darted back and forth overhead, mesmerizing the small boy. There were more people on them than he'd ever seen in his life! People walked along the streets in crowds! Was this what Uncle called "city"? It was so much bigger than the villages! And if he stood on the tips of his toes, Jak could see more structures that were even taller!

"There he is!" a harsh voice rang out.

A group of -- were they people? They were covered in armor with goggles that reminded Jak of the giant Precursor robot -- marched towards him, carrying strange weapons. The long, thin things reminded him of the Yellow Sage's blunderbuss. Some forgotten instinct told him that these things were deadly, and never to be played with.

Why were they coming towards him? Had he done something wrong?

Oh no! The broken pieces of the Rift vehicle must have hurt someone!

"Move in!"

In mere seconds, the red warriors had completely surrounded them. Part of Jak wanted to fight, but if they were just protecting their city from what probably looked like an attack, maybe it would be better to stay calm. Jak didn't want to find out what those weapons could do at such close range. But as the circle closed around him, Jak looked up into the face of their leader, and his stomach turned.

This wasn't a misunderstanding. These people were looking for trouble. The tattooed man smirking down at him had the same unreasonable gleam in his eye as Gol Acheron. He didn’t want to talk. He was going to hurt them whether or not they gave him a reason.

Jak took a step back without thinking as his pulse began to thunder in his ears.

What does he want? I didn't do anything to him! Why is he looking at us like that?!

"Step away from the animal!" barked a soldier.

Whoever they were, they understood that Jak was more powerful with Daxter supplementing his attacks. But Jak had never seen these people in his life!

Had he?

The boy cast a frantic look down at Daxter as a soldier began to move towards him.

Run! Run, Daxter!

With a shriek, the ottsel dodged the armored hand and dove between the man's legs.

"GO GO GO!" he screeched, darting off down a side street.

But Jak couldn't follow. The men crowded closer, fencing him in as their sneering leader snapped, "Forget the rat! The Baron wants him!"

Me? Why?! What's a Baron?!

A cruel smile twisted the leader's face as he signaled the man beside Jak.

"We've been waiting for you," he cooed.

Something slammed into the side of Jak's head, dropping him like a stone. Lights danced behind his eyes, and he couldn't think past the pain. Why? Why were they doing this? Were they friends of the Acherons? Rough hands grabbed him by the arms and dragged him to his feet, ignoring his soft whimper. He had to escape. Had to find Daxter. Somehow Jak knew that if he let these people take him, he might never see his friends again.

His throat pulsed and spasmed, but he couldn't force the sound past the lock in his mouth, couldn't cry out for help. Someone! Please, please stop them! Precursors! Somebody!

Somebody answered.

There was an awful, wet sound. Claws through cloth, and flesh, and the horrible, high screams that always followed.

Jak knew that sound. When the Lurkers attacked village outskirts and Samos sent him to clean up the mess, he'd learned what it sounded like when someone was being ripped apart.

His head was swimming, but Jak forced himself to look up. Through leaking eyes he caught the blurry figure of a...a someone, covered in armor. Their head -- or maybe a helmet? Hopefully a helmet -- looked like the skull of the monsters that had flown out of the Rift Gate, complete with the shining yellow thing on the forehead. They were attacking the leader man, the one who hadn't been wearing as much armor as the others.

It seemed the leader wasn't accustomed to close quarters fighting.

He screeched again as the newcomer raked long claws down his face, then bodily lifted him. With a grunt that sounded more human than monster, the creature flung its victim into the soldiers surrounding Jak just as they raised their weapons. There were three flashes of light at once, then panicked shouting and more screaming. The eco that shot out of their weapons had hit their leader as he was thrown, by the sounds of the yelling. "Commander Errol" continued to scream like he was dying. He probably was.

Abruptly the two men holding his arms let go. Still disoriented, Jak staggered and fell to his hands and knees. More yellow eco blasts roared over his head, adding to the ringing in his ears, and the stench of blood grew stronger. Maybe he could crawl out of the way, escape down the side street Daxter took. Maybe-

The creature shot out a red hand and caught Jak by the wrist, pulling him to his feet so quickly his head spun and his stomach lurched. He tried to pull free, but the monster's grip tightened.

"Can you run?"

A man's voice. Was it a creature? Or was this more armor?

Jak wobbled and groaned, and the man-thing seemed to take that as an answer. Without another word, he ducked down to sweep Jak's legs off the ground. He bundled him close to his blood-spattered breastplate and began to run. The jarring of boots against stone did nothing to allay the pounding in Jak’s head, radiating from where the red soldier had hit him. What on earth was happening to him?!

"Hold on tight, Jak. Going to get a little tricky here," his rescuer said.

Wait. He knew Jak's name? How did he know Jak's name?! Did he know one of the sages? Maybe the Yellow Sage, since he seemed like some kind of wild man. If he knew the sages, he'd know how to get back to Sandover! Jak struggled to make a sound the man would recognize as a word or question. Grownups never understood signs, why would this one be different?

"Wait, Jak. We're not safe yet," said the man sternly.

Jak stilled. Whoever this was, he didn't sound like the kind of person you ignored.

Streets flew by as the man ran down alleys and around more corners than he could count. Then his steps slowed. There was something metallic and green -- one of those unusual zoomers that had been flying around, wide enough for two people -- sitting unattended. The man made an exclamation of triumph and hurried over to it. He deposited Jak into one of the seats with a surprising gentleness, fastening two strange belts over his chest with a click.

"That commander's access pass will get us into the agricultural sector," his rescuer said, as if that meant anything to him, "then we'll be out of the city and into the forest. Just stay close to me, no matter what, understand?"

Jak stared at his mask with wide eyes and didn't answer. The man sighed, rattling behind the skull.

"I know. I know you don't recognize me, little one."

Strange, he sounded kind of sad.

"I promise, I'll explain what's going on when we're in the forest. Now: hold onto something."

The wide zoomer, it turned out, was a lot faster than his a-grav zoomer back home. It could hover a lot higher, too. If Jak's head didn't still ache, he would have been a lot more interested in the vehicle. But as it stood, he was pretty sure he was going to throw up. Was this how Daxter felt when they were running around?

Nah. Daxter was one of the toughest people Jak knew. He could roundhouse kick a Lurker in the face and flip back onto Jak’s shoulder without even getting dizzy!

Wait! Daxter!

Frantically, Jak waved his hands as the zoomer careened through and around other drivers, scraping paint more than once. Even though he didn't expect an answer, he signed, "Go back! Go back, my friend is back there!"

Predictably, the man did not go back. But to Jak’s surprise, he did answer.

"We're not going back," he grunted, throwing the craft into a climb that left the engine straining. "That plaza will be swarming with guards now."

Then, a little gentler, he added, "Don't worry so much about Daxter. He's a smart boy, he knows how to keep himself safe until someone comes for him."

Not only did this person know who Jak was, he knew Daxter?

A smart boy. He called Daxter a smart boy.

No one had ever said anything that nice about his best friend before. Especially not adults. Jak had never understood why everyone but Ollie and Mrs. Perch seemed to hate Daxter so much, but it had always frightened him. If they hated a kid who never did anything to them, that meant Jak was on a tightrope every day to keep them from deciding to hate him, too.

But the scary man who grabbed him, he knew Daxter's name. He didn't call him a rat or an animal, he called him a boy! He called him smart! Jak’s previous fear began to melt away. Anyone who talked about his best friend like that had to be a nice person, right? And he was a fun driver, too! Too bad Jak's stomach was trying to crawl up his throat at the moment.

After a tense few seconds, the zoomer leveled out and shot past a fancy fountain, over the heads of people in nicer clothes than what Jak had seen before. A few shook their fists and complained as they flew past. Slate gray paths gave way to the first green he'd seen since first getting into the Rift craft. A long, narrow expanse of grass held several plots of unusually large produce. The plots were being tended by exhausted looking people in much dirtier clothes than the people by the fountain. They didn't even glance up when the zoomer sped by.

They pulled to a stop at a high, forbidding wall. The door shaped vaguely like a skull only added to the sense of foreboding around it, as if it was a warning. A quick glance around revealed that the wall extended as far as Jak could see, so high that nothing was visible beyond it. How could these people stand it? It must be like living at the bottom of a silo!

Jak was snapped from his thoughts by the man yanking the strap things off him with a click and pulling him out of the zoomer. It took him a moment to get his feet under him, but at least he didn't feel like he was going to tip over.

"Hurry," said the man tersely. Almost as if he wasn't thinking about it, he reached down and took hold of Jak's hand. He tugged Jak after him and walked swiftly towards the door.

"Not a little kid!" Jak protested with his free hand as best as he could.

Although, he had a feeling his rescuer could argue to the contrary, considering Jak barely stood as high as the man's ribcage.

"Now leaving Haven City," said a woman's voice above their heads as the door rolled shut behind them. Jak looked around for a talk-box, but couldn't tell where the lady was speaking from. "Haven", eh? Didn't seem like much of a Haven to Jak.

A second door opened in front of them, and a weight lifted off of Jak's shoulders.

Trees, ancient and massive, sprawled across hills and around a creek running placidly down to a lake. Nature didn't care about soldiers and cities and people hurting each other. Nature kept growing and being born and dying and being reborn in an eternal cycle of eco. It was a relief to see none of those entombing walls before them. Strange though, Jak didn't see any signs of wildlife. One bird chirruped several trees away, but everything else was eerily quiet.

The armored man lifted an oddly shaped talk-box to his ear and turned away from Jak.

"Satellite One, this is Lighthouse. We're clear."

"Copy that, Lighthouse. Wait, who's "we"?"

"Oh. Jak. The kid Praxis was trying to ambush?"

"Kid?! Wait, you didn't tell me you were going to grab someone's kid!"

"Don't worry about it," the man said casually, "Focus on the mission."

The person calling themselves Satellite One was quiet for a second, then relented. "...right. I'll...I'll bring him home, Damas. I swear it."

"If anyone can, it's you." The man -- Day-maz? Is that what Satellite called him? -- put the talk box away and took in a deep breath through his nose. Then he pivoted to kneel in front of Jak.

"Alright, let's have a look at you."

He unlatched the mask or helmet and slid it off, revealing a human face beneath a hood. He pushed it off and shook his ears free with a grumble.

"Bah. This disguise is a necessary evil but I can't say I'll be sad to see it go."

The clawed gloves followed, and then rough brown fingers lifted Jak's chin carefully, checking for injuries.

"Look up? Good. Pupils...ah, mmhm. Jak, can you tell me if you feel dizzy or nauseous right now?"

"Yes."

Thin, almost invisible eyebrows rose over violet eyes. "Yes you can tell me, or yes you feel dizzy?"

"Yeah, that one." Jak frowned. "There's no birds."

The Day-mas man released Jak's face and clicked his tongue. "Well, you may have a mild concussion, little one."

Jak's ears drooped a few seconds after the words caught up to him. Aw man! But those take forever to go away without eco!

The thought of avoiding running and climbing for a few weeks was torture!

"There's a green eco vent a couple miles into the woods if we keep going northwest. For a slight brain injury you really need a full vent, but I can give you a little now to make walking easier."

The man pulled off more of the scaly armor and searched around a belt full of pouches before coming up with a tube of some kind of paste.

"Hold still."

Eco in paste?! How did he get it into a jelly?! It sat cold on Jak’s skin, numbing the place the guard had slammed his weapon into. Jak shivered as his mind cleared a bit. With the adrenaline beginning to wear off, he was starting to notice the cold. He'd need to find some yellow eco to raise his core temperature. Absentminded, he signed a thanks to the man and looked around.

"Who are you?" he asked, then belatedly remembered to add, "How do you know me and Daxter?"

With a weird, sad, smile, the man sat back on his heels. "My name is Damas," he said quietly, and then spelled it with his hand.

"You sign?!"

Jak thought adults just weren't capable of understanding signs!

"Yes," Damas signed back, "It's very common where I come from. Come, we need to get you more eco. Explanations can wait until you are fully healed."

He stood and held out a hand.

"I'm not a baby!" Jak complained, but he took the offered hand anyway.

Damas chuckled warmly. "No, you're not a baby. But you are quite small, compared to me. I wouldn't want you to get lost out here in the unknown. You never know what you'll run into out here in the woods."

"No birds," Jak commented again, frowning into bushes and trees as he was tugged along.

Entirely too cheerfully, Damas answered, "No, no birds. You're keeping track of your surroundings, good! There are predators nearby that have scared them off."

"Wha?!" Jak yelped, looking around again.

Damas squeezed his hand and began to make his way along the creek. "You don't need to worry about them, alright? I won't let anything hurt you, I promise."

Jak made a skeptical sound, but squeezed back and let himself be guided deeper into the woods, and further away from the world he'd left behind.

#fic prompts #writing prompts #jak and daxter #dadmas #my art #king damas #jak and daxter au #free day thursday #Jak gets his recklessness from his dad #Damas 100% did not tell anyone what he was planning #especially not the dress-like-a-metalhead-and-maim-Errol part #that was a last-minute idea on his part to shake public trust in Praxis #don't worry Jak all of Spargus is just as confused as you are #there is a DAMAS. LOOSE. in HAVEN! #damas is on the loose #this still doesn't have a title lol #bonus points if you recognize the reference image the illustration is based on #note: DAMAS STILL DOESN'T KNOW JAK IS MAR 🤣 #fragile things au

[paimonial-rage]

spark - xiao

[random writing event] | requested by anonymous

“Do you want to try it?” You asked with a smile. “A day like this is a cause for celebration, don’t you think?”

He kept quiet as his gaze trailed to the thin stick within your hand. Though he never used one before, they weren’t unfamiliar to him. In times past, the more studious of the adepti found interest in those Inazuman delights. The lights would often draw his eyes from across a crowd, but he never bothered to investigate up close. While bright and beautiful, they died quickly as transient things often did.

“I’m alright. There’s no need to waste such human trivialities on me.”

As usual, his refusal didn’t color your expression with hurt. Instead, you shrugged and turned your attention back to the Mingxiao Lanterns floating in the sky.

“It wouldn’t be a waste to me. Not for you.”

He held back his urge to sigh. There you went again saying such things. Though you were assigned to his care, you didn’t need to visit him so often. You didn’t need to shower him with gifts. You didn’t need to stay by his side. He knew he wasn’t easy to be around. He knew he often made people feel nervous. But you didn’t mind. You weren’t scared away.

In the back of his mind, he wondered why Rex Lapis gave you to him. Xiao had been a loyal servant for years. Never once had he failed his duty. So he didn’t understand. What was he supposed to do with you? What was the purpose of keeping you by his side?

He broke away from his thoughts when a soft humming filled the air. Turning his attention to you, there you stood by the torchlight with that stick from earlier in hand. After lighting the tip, you held your arm out as the stick began to erupt in a burst of lights and stars. You laughed, waving it around, enjoying the streaks it made across the evening sky.

The sight was captivating.

But just as quickly as it began, it soon came to an end. With a sigh, you placed the sparkler to the side. Almost as if reading his mind, you turned to him with a bashful smile.

“They don’t last long, but they are beautiful, aren’t they? It may be a bit frivolous, but what’s the point in being alive if we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy it?”

Perhaps it was due to it being Lantern Rite that he suddenly found himself caught in a bout of honesty.

“I’m… not sure I understand.”

It was the most truthful answer he could give. And how shocking it was you did not judge him for it. Instead, you walked over to the box of sparklers and picked out a stick. With a smile, you then held it out to him.

“Why not try?”

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #my writing #writing event #request #anon #thank you for the request! #and also thank you for the really kind message too <3 #i have a lot to say abt this fic #there’s multiple themes i unintentionally included in here and not all of them are properly addressed #bc of that the ending doesn’t give off a very fulfilling feel #it probably doesn’t help this is based upon an idea i’ve had for a long time #this takes place in the same verse as xiao’s snippet in the tipsy tales post i made a while back #if you’re interested maybe i’ll try to write it out fully one day

[therizino-ao3]

Hermit Horror Week 2023

Day two: Environment

Summary: xB wants to support his friend, but there’s something about his base that feels wrong. He can’t bring himself to leave, no matter how much he knows he should.

Read on ao3

Contains: unreliable narrator, a character being non-consensually drugged (implied + in a magical way), loss of free will (strongly implied), panic attacks, fairy folklore, suffocation mention, weird time shenanigans

“So dude, have you seen my base yet?”

xB looks up from the diamonds he’d been counting, “Hmm? No, I haven’t. You’re doing like, mushrooms or something, right?” So far, his and Hypno’s business has been doing great. They’ve been getting quite a few sales lately, to say nothing of the IOU collection they’re racking up. They’re making bank.

“Yep! Like a mushroom forest, mystical land kinda thing,” Hypno takes the diamonds xB hands him, “You should totally see it! I’ve finished the main mushroom and a bunch of decoration around the place, it looks so cool.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I’m happy to head over now, if you want?”

They head over there by foot, instead of by elytra. It’s… a little weird, but xB doesn’t mind, he thinks Hypno wants to show off the custom lamps he’s made for the path. It’s quite atmospheric, he’ll admit, with the towering dark oaks letting only small puddles of sunshine hit the ground, and the glowing fungi beckoning them forward. It’s magical.

They seem to walk for ages, wandering down the twisting path. At one point, xB turns around, just to see what’s behind them. There’s nothing. It’s pure black, no sign of the pretty little lamps they just passed. xB swivels back to Hypno, about to voice his concerns, but Hypno starts talking about dye farms and making concrete and xB just kind of forgets about it. It’s not too much of a concern, anyway. The further in they go, the more xB realises how safe it is. Like, initially he was super concerned of a creeper crawling out from the forest, with how dark it was outside the path, but he actually hasn’t seen a single creature other than them. He can’t even hear the birds sing here. Hypno must have done some mad mob-proofing.

Eventually, the trees open out and he looks at Hypno’s hard work and instantly his stomach drops. His mind is screaming at him to get out. He needs to leave. His heart is thundering. His eyes squeeze closed. Then, he feels Hypno’s comforting hand on his shoulder and it’s all okay. He blinks a little and looks up at his friend.

“Is everything alright xB?” he’s frowning.

“Yeah, I’m just- I felt on the verge of a panic attack for a second there but, now it’s all gone,” his face feels a bit wet, is he crying?

“Are you sure? We can go back if you’d like, I don’t want to continue if you’re hurt,” Hypno looks concerned.

“No, no, it’s all fine. It might be like, hay fever from all these mushroom spores,” he says. As he says it, he knows it makes absolutely no sense, but he wants Hypno to stop worrying.

“Alright,” Hypno seems to buy it, his tone becoming more playful, “You know, you can just admit you’re jealous of how cool my base is, xB!”

“I am not jealous, we all know, out of the two of us, I got the cooler base. M’kay?” he smiles, feeling a bit better. They’ve crossed over a barrier of tiny mushrooms in front of the path, seeming to circle around the whole area. Inside, there’s a field of beautiful light green grass, home to all sorts of fungi Hypno’s been cultivating. They’re mainly red and white, with some brown, but they’re in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Throughout the area, there are fairy lights and lanterns and fireflies and they all glow in the darkening dusk sky. When they left Horse Head Farms, it was mid-morning, xB remembers. It’s funny how fast time passes.

Most of the mushrooms seem decorative, but the larger ones have been made into buildings. There are cute little doors carved into the trunks and signs that say things like “Storage” or “Farms”. One particularly thick and pretty mushroom has been decorated a lot, he assumes it must have been Hypno’s starter base.

“I can’t believe you’re living in Smurf village, dude,” xB giggles.

Hypno punches his arm, “This is not a Smurf village! It’s a fairy realm. Get it right, xB.”

xB’s mouth feels dry. He knows that word. Fairy. Right now, he can’t think of what it means. He nods. He looks at the giant mushroom in the centre of the base.

It’s obviously the centrepiece, towering over every other mushroom. It’s incredibly beautiful. Hypno leads them to the front entrance. xB feels sick looking up at the gills of the mushroom. He can almost imagine the microscopic spores floating down, filling their mouths, suffocating them. Spore particles would probably be good to add, the movement would make the build more dynamic. He’ll tell Hypno later. Hypno drags xB into his home. The wooden staircase looks very nice, Hypno’s done a pretty good job on the spiral. They run up it together. The air smells sweet, almost sickly. After a very short tour, they come back outside - Hypno hasn’t finished the interiors yet. He’s surprised he was allowed to leave, he thought Hypno would trap him there forever, not that he’d mind.

Hypno is looking at him, “So what do you think of my base, xB?”

xB thinks. He thinks about the amazing lights and the vibrant colours and the magical aura. He thinks about Hypno, who’s one of his best friends, who has worked so hard on this base, who xB would do anything he asks him to do. That’s weird, he’s able to realise. He likes Hypno but Hypno is also sometimes very annoying, and other times, xB just likes to mess with him. He wouldn’t do everything Hypno wants. He thinks about all the people willingly signing their IOUs. Is xB willingly answering Hypno’s question? Not that he has any choice, he has to answer it regardless. He wonders if Hypno’s human. He always assumed he was, not having any visible non-human traits, but sometimes the signs are more subtle. He’s thinking too hard.

“Hmm, it’s alright,” he says, “My base is still better.”

#i'm sick so sorry if this one is a lil worse than usual #i know the prose is weird anyway lol #xb (under hypno's control): i am still better than you #i had so many ideas of different bases I could do for this one #but I decided Hypno S8 because I never see anyone talk about how he lived in a mushroom base the same season he stole souls #cmon... the potential #hermithorrorweek2023 #hermitcraft #hermitcraft fic #fanfic #xbcrafted #hypnotizd #horse head farms #unreliable narrators #panic attack #brief but I'm tagging it #therizino writes