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writing-in-april · 3 years
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Shining Bright Above You
Spencer Reid x Male Reader
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Summary: Spencer finally gets to go out with his boyfriend after getting out of prison and gets to see the light despite the overwhelming darkness.
A/N: Hey guys! This is my twenty-first fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April. This ones one of my favorites I’ve ever written and is based on this request and is also inspired by some stuff @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff sent to me for inspiration. I know x male reader fics don’t do good in fandom (which is a crying shame) but there’s still a large portion of people it applies to that read fanfic so please share it around so it might reach them!! Inclusivity in fanfic is important and I’ve heard multiple people get very discouraged they don’t see more fics that represent them- so please help bring more inclusivity in fandom!!! My ask box is open for nice anons only- here- if I see a shred of homophobia I will curb stomp you (I will not have a debate about it in my inbox) BUT please don’t be afraid to point out if I made a mistake in terms of the gender of the reader (this is not an open invitation to critique the rest of the fic)Thanks for reading and hope y’all enjoy!
Warnings: Mentions of homophobia & the prison arc & subtle hints at a soulmate au (which is funny I wrote it like that because I don’t read soulmate fics lol)- otherwise its super fluffy 🥰
Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.6k
Time was just a construct created by humans to understand how we moved forward in the universe, and even though I was exaggerating it had felt like a million years since I had been out with Spencer. Prison had already made it hard to see him, with all the pat downs and checks only to still be separated by a plexiglass wall. On top of that, Spencer had only let me visit once, until he saw eyes leering at me with some uttering slurs underneath their breath.
It wasn’t until he was freed that I could see him again, and in the flesh as well. I remember our first hug after he had been released, both of us practically soaking our clothes with tears that didn’t seem to stop. For Spencer, it had even taken along time to convince him that I was real, and that I was safe- there would be no homophobic prisoners coming to attack us in the night.
Spencer didn’t like the night, one of his worst fears was the darkness and night was when the shadowy parts of his mind came out to play. Oftentimes I’d find him in other parts of the apartment at night, with all the lights on, the bed was no longer a place of comfort. One night I had pulled him to the couch, lights all flicked on and a nature documentary playing softly. When I had brought his head into my lap to stroke his fluffy locks that were still beautiful even though they were still damaged from the prison soap, he had fallen asleep a lot easier. Since then the couch has become our bed. Though I did not mind because he kicked and cried less in the night, and even when he did, it was easier to hold him.
The night was a scary place for Spencer, except when the stars shone bright. That’s why when I had remembered one of our favorite past dates, at the observatory, I immediately called in a favor. We had the place to ourselves tonight, sure it cost me more money than I’d ever spent before on a date. It had been ages, a million years it seemed like since we went out in public, so the price was worth it. It was all for Spencer, to make the night good for him again.
Though I definitely loved looking at the bright balls of gas up above I much preferred to rest my gaze on Spencer’s eyes. Spencer’s eyes often reminded me of the stars, not because of their color- but because of the slight twinkle that they got every time he was happy. The twinkle in my opinion rivaled the brightness of the stars with ease.
Normally I could listen to Spencer rambling on about facts all day, being completely entranced by his phrasing. But, his eyes had entranced me this time. I was no longer thinking about the black holes that he was rambling about, but how lucky I was. How lucky I was to see that twinkle in his eye and get to kiss him at the same time?
I could’ve been born at any point throughout space and time, to see any number of amazing things across the universe. But, I was put here standing next to Spencer. Just two specks of stardust ready to be in this world together. However insignificant life could seem in the grander scheme of things- however small we could both seem, I wouldn’t want to be next to any other speck of stardust nor be placed at any point in space and time.
“And no particles or even electromagnetic radiation such as light—can escape from it.” I caught the last part of what he said as he finished his mini rant about black holes. Thinking about light being swallowed up and being crushed into oblivion it made me think of Spencer again, it was a sad thought, though it was filled with hope.
I thought about all the darkness that had tried to consume Spencer throughout the years. Most recently prison had been the thing that tried to stomp the light out of him. It was nice to see that light that had dimmed sparkle a little brighter tonight. Even though we have been dating for a long time I felt myself filled with a small amount of happiness knowing that I was at least part of the reason the sparkle in his eye was bright tonight.
“You ok?” Spencer piped up, looking at me with concern.
“The stars are bright tonight.”
He looked a little confused at my seemingly somewhat random statement, he still looked back up at the stars. On the inside I wished he’d kept his bright glinting gaze upon me, then he confirmed my statement, “Yes, yes they are.”
“You’re still shining brighter.” Even after all this time I still had the capabilities to make Spencer blush. Every time he did so I was reminded of the stuttering boy I had met all those years ago. When he had first approached me in the library so long ago to ask me if I was finished with a book I had set down to the side, he was instantly just as endearing to me as he is now.
It had been such a different time then, it seemed almost like another lifetime. We had been through so much together, I often thought the universe might have some vendetta against us. Though logically the universe wouldn’t be so concerned with two small specks of stardust such as ourselves. Either way, whatever was truly out there in the unknown, there’s no place I’d rather be.
A piece of paper, folded carefully so the creases would be neat, was burning a hole through my slacks. It was a small gift in the grander scheme of things, a blip on anyone else’s radar. This held more meaning for us than just some novelty gift people buy.
His eyes were back on the stars, observing them with such intensity that I hadn’t even seen the astronomer Spencer had introduced me to last time we were here. Spence craved the light above him- who was I to deny him if I could give it to him?
It may have not been plucking the stars out of the sky for him to cuddle in his arms in a literal sense. I couldn’t buy all the stars in the sky, the website didn’t allow that. I could give him one though, one that was brighter than any others they had for sale.
“I-I have something for you.” I stuttered, which had Spencer looking at me with suspicion; he was the stutterer when nervous, not normally me.
Spencer’s eyes were on me now, not the stars, though he looked at me with the same reverence as he did when gazing up at the Milky Way. The same way I always did.
My hands were shaky when I pulled out the folded paper, carefully undoing the creases to present him the certificate of ownership for a star. Spencer steadied them with his fingers wrapping around my wrists. They were long and spindly, just made in a certain way that made me always want to kiss the tips of them as I did so often.
He then took the paper from my hands, even though I wanted to be greedy and take the warmth from his hands that the paper was stealing. I cleared my throat before telling him what the folded paper was, still nervous over a simple sheet of paper,“It’s our star.”
Somehow his eyes gleamed ever brighter because of how the tears that were now welling up in his eyes refracted the light even more. He wiped them a little, so he could scan the paper over to read the certificate that to most people meant nothing.
“It’s so we can have a little bit more light in our life.” I chewed on my bottom lip after I finished giving him my reasoning for the gift, nervous about his reaction. His hands were shaking now, as were mine, though for different reasons.
If my brain was thinking logically I’d realize he’d love anything I have to him, he’d probably even treasure a vial of sand. “You’re all the light I need” He then pulled me into his lips by grasping at my cheeks, the paper still in his hands brushing up against them accidentally. The only people here to see the light between us was a mingling curious janitor. It didn’t matter who was watching, I only needed one person to be here, Spencer. And, every time I was in his presence I always stopped to think, there’s no place I’d rather be. There’s no one else I’d rather be attached to, no one else I want to call me their boyfriend. He’s my home and my light just as much as I am his.
There’s an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to one another. I don’t know how much I put stock in the idea of soulmates, or the universe having some illogical vendetta against us, or the possibility of a being greater than humankind. I did know however, that if there was anyone in the world that I could possibly be soulmates with, it would be Spencer Reid. I’d spend the rest of my days comforting him from the darkness, happily showing him the specks of light in between that ultimately would defeat the swirling pools of black.
Ask Me Anything
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All Works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @spenxerslut @boxofsparklingmuses @katexrichardson @takeyourleap-of-faith
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rosebloodcat · 3 years
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Toonkind Storyline Idea
Not too long ago, I got an interesting idea for a DnD storyline thanks to some interesting spells I found in the Player’s Handbook. I’ve also been listening to the Toonkind DnD recordings as well. So, as one would expect, the two have been slowly melding together into (what I think) is a fun/interesting story that could be played.
The only awkward thing about it is that I’m not actually in the Toonkind Discord (I’ve got my eye out for the next invite link and I’m praying I’ll be online and aware enough to join in then), so I can’t really share the idea and see if anyone would be up for it. This awkwardness is only increased by the fact that a character I want to see/use for it is one that isn’t mine.
Because of that, this idea has just been festering in the back of my head for several days now and I just- Need to talk about it now.
Like, the fear of possible embarrassment is being replaced by the pure need to talk about this. It’ll probably just sit in my posts/notes forever and not get used, but I want to have it down and out there. (Keeping hopes/expectations low on that front.) I mean, what are the chances that, even if I At’d the players here on Tumblr, they would actually read through the idea? Or want to talk with me about it? Pretty low as far as I can tell.
So honestly, there’s nothing actually stopping me from just rambling into the aether about this. Might as well go for it.
Anyways, let’s get into the meat of this.
I’ll start off by telling people that I had been curious about spells to revive/bring back the dead because I was curious about how many there actually were. 
Unsurprisingly, I found four spells that involved reviving/bringing back the dead.
Surprisingly, though, only three of those spells were necromancy spells! (Revivify, Resurrection, and True Resurrection.)
The Fourth spell was called Reincarnate and was a transmutation spell used/learnable by Druids. (If you’re curious about it, you can check out the exact details here! https://www.dndbeyond.com/spells/reincarnate )
A quick summary of it goes like this: If someone has been dead for less than 10 days, you can touch them (or a piece of them) and create a new body for that person and call their soul to it. The spell causes their race/subrace to change, and the new one can be decided by the DM or via Dice Roll. All their abilities and memories stay the same, but their racial stats/abilities are exchanged for ones matching their new race/subrace.
And I thought, “What if this spell (or a variant of it) was used on a character that died in one of the Toonkind games?”
(Also, I realize I should mention this before continuing, Spoiler Warning for anyone who’s never listened to the Taffy Train Saga and the Coup De Blues games? This involves characters from those.)
I can’t think of too many toonkind characters who are actually Dead-Dead, but I do have one that I have a little bit of a soft spot for. One who was killed in the very same game he was introduced in.
Victor Tim, the (very dead) accountant for Dodo Studios.
(Who has been played by both @modmad and @snailcomicz and I’m not sure which of them he actually belongs to, so I guess he just goes to both for now. I know he was presented as a tool/not very liked character, but I just found him weirdly charming. I can’t explain it if I tried.)
Thus, the seed of an idea was planted in my brain.
What if Victor Tim was brought back from the dead by someone using a variation of this spell? Either as someone experimenting with magic or something. Heck, it could even be done with a machine instead of a spellcaster. (I’m not opposed to the “Illegal or at least Unethical Science” route for a villain. Seeing if they can expand the limit for how soon the spell can be used.)
I mean, considering the chaos brought by Dora Z Scale after the Taffy Train, would it really be so crazy to say that someone took advantage of it?
Someone could have noticed Dora robbing graveyards, seeing that the reports on it were few and far between, and decided to piggyback off her and snatch up remains in her wake. Get some free test subjects that didn’t need to sign waivers whilst everyone was focused on the Engineer and later Dora drama in the papers. Of course, they could have also been a bit more careful and waited until after Dora was captured/arrested before starting their experiments. To give more time for people to forget about them (if they had been spotted during that time) and let their focus be taken up by the former actress instead.
And it probably took a while before they got around to Vic, likely from how little they had of him due to Dora drinking a large portion of him. The Perp probably took their time refining their materials/process since they didn’t want to lose what little they had of him.
All things considered, the extra grave robber probably wasn’t noticed for a long time thanks to the sorting that needed to be done with Dora’s undead army. After figuring out who came from where and sending them back to their proper graves, I’m sure the police were very surprised to find that there were still a number of graves that remained empty.
That lovely little problem was probably kept buried to prevent the public from panicking/getting the police in even more trouble. Especially if The Engineer or Mrs. Tim found out that Vic’s remains were among those missing.
(Not to mention the field day the press would have about it. Like that one, very intrepid young reporter. The one with the dog, you know who.)
I’d say that Vic, when brought back, is still a toonkind but probably a different subrace. (Maybe a Frankenalie? Or a Warne? Unless Mod or Snail see this and think of something that would be more fun/interesting.)
He also probably has no idea what’s going on. Just that he’s pretty sure he’s supposed to be dead but somehow he’s not and he’s stuck somewhere he doesn’t recognize and are both his eyes facing forward? And “Oh no this is bad. I’m pretty sure there is a bad thing happening and I’m alone with no help, oh no, oh no, oh no.”
Because definitely not-okay, illegal/unethical experiments tend to mean the “Subjects” are basically captives/prisoners of the person responsible and need to either be rescued or find a way to escape.
Both routes could go in fun/interesting directions.
Cause, on one hand, there’s the possibility of getting the info out and having Engie pulling/being part of a rescue mission, or at least someone from the studio/Taffy Train may want to check it out. (I mean, who fakes being a dead guy? That’s weird enough that someone would want to look into it.)
On the other hand, there’s also the fun of Vic managing to bust out with the help of other victims in the same situation. Which could actually be a cool set of stories/games to be played. (I’d- I’d actually love to make a character to play that out if I’m being completely honest here. I may have one slowly being drafted out in my head as I type this.)
There’s also the potential hitch of Vic having to try and convince people/prove that he really is Victor Tim, the guy who was murdered by Dora Z Scale. Or that Vic’s note/message really was from him. Even more so if Vic’s talking to people who actually knew him before. (Powerful potential Angst and feels right there if they don’t believe him. Or it could be really funny, depending on how it’s played.)
There are also some fun shenanigans that could happen too. Mostly from Vic trying to figure out how his new race/abilities work. Like (if he was a warne)  accidentally using Expeditious Retreat and yeeting himself into a wall. Or (if he was a frankenalie) getting into a heated argument with an animal via Speak With Animals but not knowing it.
(“Uh, Vic?” “Wha- Oh! Sorry,  I was caught up talking with this guy-” “Vic, you’re talking to a dog.” “...Oh. Suddenly this makes a lot more sense.”)
But- yeah. That’s my idea for a potential storyline for Toonkind DnD, Victor Tim brought back from the dead but not as a Yupyaen and all the possible chaos that could entail. 
Honestly, I have more thoughts on the story, but it’s one of those things that would probably go better if I was able to talk with others about it.
This will probably sit in my posts for who knows how long and never actually get used/played, but I have said my piece now. Who knows, maybe I’ll use the initial idea in something and just remove Vic from the equation.
(... It would be cool if I actually got to use/play this in Toonkind though.)
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lamortexiii · 3 years
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Cryptic Mystic: What’s Your Sign?
Many of us are fascinated by astrology and all things outer space related. The great unknown that is beyond the stars has been a hot topic for centuries. But, how did the zodiac begin? What makes astrological signs and the alignment of planets and stars so magical? Is it truly prophetic? Does your sign define your personality, past, present, and future? Or is this simply another product of the Barnum Effect?
So I’ll start by asking the obvious: “what’s your sign?” I’m a Leo through and through. While I’m skeptical about the claims of some astrological signs and their relation to my life on a daily basis, I do believe there is some truth here - as is with most things. This topic is one that I have been wanting to write about for some time now. I have always found outer space, stars, planets, etc. to be fascinating. As a child, I remember laying in the grass and watching the stars above me. In my little valley in the forest, I could see so many stars that wouldn’t be visible if I were in the city. I am so thankful I had that childhood experience of growing up somewhere where I could truly connect with nature and the simple things around me that most take for granted on a day-to-day basis. I still stargaze to this day, but I can’t see near as many as I once did in my childhood forest valley home. I’ve seen a plethora of shooting stars throughout my lifetime, two meteor showers, two solar eclipses, and plenty of unidentified objects that were likely satellites… or were they…?
One time when I was driving home from work late one night I saw something that befuddled me. As I drove down the winding 2 lane highway in the darkness of the night I saw what appeared to be a helicopter hovering right above the trees. Now, this area I was driving through was rural. There are few houses in those woods, but there are some. The backroads leading to the site where the “helicopter” was hovering are seldom traveled, especially this late at night. I began processing the event in my mind and questioning if it was a helicopter, why would it be hovering so low and what exactly would it be doing in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. It just didn’t make sense. I thought about logical explanations and could only come up with one. There is the slim possibility that someone driving on one of the many backroads in that area may have got into an accident and was getting airlifted to a hospital. I’ve seen it happen before on backroads near there. Aside from this idea, I had nothing. By this point, I had obviously slowed down so I could get a better look. Hell, there wasn’t any traffic so it’s not like I was worried about causing an accident or anything. As I looked closer I noticed it wasn’t a helicopter at all. There were about 4-6 large bright lights shining down below the area that the craft was hovering over. The circumference of this craft was much wider than a helicopter - more circular. The lights were far too big and far too bright. Whether it was fear, shock, tiredness, or my stomach growling, I continued to drive on and leave the peculiar scene behind. Now, I know this has nothing to do with astrology or zodiac signs, but it is an interesting story nonetheless. 
In reference to zodiac signs, I find that descriptions of a Leo with my particular birthdate are genuinely pretty accurate when describing my personality and conflicts. However, the daily horoscopes are definitely not accurate in my experience. I will say that when I read/listen to them I try to apply something positive from the reading to my daily life. I engage in a deeper thought process and practice mindfulness throughout the day, keeping that positive focus within my mind on the positive message I am supposed to be implementing into my day. I have also found that compatibility readings have been somewhat inaccurate as far as certain zodiac signs getting along or not getting along with other zodiac signs. The biggest obvious red flag for me is how many different sources there are. And guess what? They all say something different on the daily. If zodiac signs and horoscopes are supposed to be accurate, then why don’t all individuals who report them online all say the same thing - or at least something similar?? To play devil's advocate here, I did say earlier that I believe there is some truth to all of this, which is why it interests me so much and also why I believe in this stuff to a degree. There is a lot of magical and wondrous history to unpack in regards to the zodiac and horoscopes. So, let’s jump right in, shall we?
Interesting fact: the word zodiac is derived from Greek terminology meaning “circle of little animals.” We’re a circle of little animals - cute visuals there, eh? Hieroglyphs in Egypt dating as early as the 14th century BC were found to contain a circle of decans (constellations) depicting something that looks a lot like the constellations and zodiac symbols that we know today. In total there were 36 decans found within the temple.
During the first half of the first millennium, Babylonian astronomers created our modern zodiac. They also mapped the previous constellations that were seen in the Egyptian hieroglyphs but continued to add more as they were discovered. In the last half of the 5th century, the Babylonian astronomers divided the many constellations into 12 equal "signs” to represent the 12 months of the year at 30 days per month. Each sign contained 30° of celestial longitude, thus creating the first known celestial coordinate system. According to calculations by modern astrophysics, the zodiac was introduced between 409 and 398 BC and probably within a very few years of 401 BC. Unlike modern astrologers, who place the beginning of the sign of Aries at the place of the Sun at the vernal equinox, Babylonian astronomers fixed the zodiac in relation to stars, placing the beginning of Cancer at the "Rear Twin Star" (β Geminorum) and the beginning of Aquarius at the "Rear Star of the Goat-Fish" (δ Capricorni). Due to the precession of the equinoxes, the time of year the Sun is in a given constellation has changed since Babylonian times, the point of vernal equinox has moved from Aries into Pisces. 
You’ll be pleasantly surprised, intrigued, or disgusted to know that all of this does have some roots within religion. The Hebrew Bible shows knowledge of the Babylonian zodiac. E. W. Bullinger noted that the drawings found in the book of Ezekiel were quite similar to the middle four quarters of the zodiac (Lion/Leo, Bull/Taurus, Man/Aquarius, Eagle/Scorpio). You read that right, Scorpio is noted as being an eagle - not a scorpion. Some say that the twelve tribes of Israel are correlated with the zodiac signs found within the Hebrew 12 month calendar. There is an argument that the position of the Israelic tribes around the Tabernacle from the book of Numbers correlates with the exact order of the zodiac, with Judah, Reuben, Ephraim, and Dan representing the middle signs of Leo, Aquarius, Taurus, and Scorpio, respectively. It is shocking how I have heard religious people in modern times talk about how this is all a bunch of garbage, even though some of this is literally correlated with items from the Bible.
To explain daily horoscopes and the connection between the stars, planets, and our zodiac signs, you must engage in a bit of math (yuck). When planets and constellations of the zodiac would align, the Babylonian astronomers of that time would note the experiences that people had and found similarities. These experiences, along with the position of the Earth, Sun, Moon, and constellations and the positions relative to the zodiac signs were stored within a catalogue. This went on for several years and is essentially what began our modern-day daily horoscope. However, it is my personal opinion that a lot of these “professionals” who have their own magical websites where you can get a free daily horoscope, just make shit up to sound interesting. That is obvious by the previously mentioned differentials found within each page. I encourage you to do a quick Google search and you’ll see what I’m talking about. This ties into the belief that the Barnum Effect is in play here. You’ll remember the Barnum Effect from last month's blog. If you haven’t read the June 2021 blog The Imaginarium of Barnum, I suggest you head there next to get a deeper understanding of what I’m talking about before you continue reading. Much of what is broadcasted in daily horoscopes, zodiac sign descriptions, and even within mediumship and tarot readings is full of extremely vague generalities. Because the information is presented in such a vague and generalized way, it then becomes an instance where anyone could apply any of the information to their life in some way. So as you can see, there is some psychological manipulation at play here. Now, I am not saying this is true for all who present the information. I will say that there are A LOT of shams out there. I have seen far more fake sites/readings/etc. than I have seen legit ones. If I had to give a percentage from my personal experience, I’d say about 85% of what I’ve seen is bullshit. But you choose what you believe at the end of the day. I just ask you to keep an open mind and a wise eye about you when scanning the web for horoscopes, zodiac information, tarot, and mediumship. 
All of this information is interesting to stew on within your mind. I hope that you learned something new. I know I did when I was researching this topic for the blog. The religious ties were the most surprising thing to me. What did you find most interesting? Drop a comment under the blog on Tumblr or under the Instagram post for this month’s blog and let me know. Tonight if you are able, take a look at the stars and see if you can find the constellations. The plethora of shapes within the brightest stars are brilliant to gaze upon. Who knows, maybe you will find your zodiac constellation. Maybe you will depict a new constellation on your own by combining different combinations of stars. Or maybe you’ll see something that you can’t explain…
Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch @psychvvitch
www.LaMorteXiii.com
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iffeelscouldkill · 3 years
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say what we wanna do, make it all come true (chapter 1)
A/N: It is! My fic for the Fiction Podcast Big Bang @podcastbigbang! I am a bit terrified to be posting this after working on it for so long! Also this is in the running for the Longest TSCOSI Fic I’ve Written So Far (not sure if it’s the longest because I don’t remember where my wordcount is up to for Adjusting, but like... it’s long, guys). This is Chapter 1 of 3, and the remaining chapters will be posted weekly!
You can read this on AO3 where the formatting is honestly much better, but here it is on Tumblr anyway. Also, please check out the FANTASTIC artwork made for this fic by the wonderful @bluereadingdolphin and @demonic-kitkats, who are my artists for this fic and their artwork is so good, you guys, I’m in love and they did such a phenomenal job with the honestly pretty vague info they got from me 😂 
bluereadingdolphin’s piece
demonic-kitkat’s piece (from Chapter 2!)
Please give them all the love!
Content warnings: There is a relatively brief physical altercation described in this chapter, but it isn’t graphic or bloody.
Also, I play a little fast and loose with POV in this; the first section is told from Sana’s perspective, the rest from Arkady’s.
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“Hello and welcome back to Radio Indie, Folk and Techno, also known as RIFT, where we play all the bands that matter outside of the mainstream! I’m Piper Tanaka, and I’m your co-host for this programme! I’m joined as usual by the lovely Kestrel Colvin, with Reina Sakamachi in the booth! Now – where were we?”
“You were introducing our guests for this next section,” Kestrel replied in a slightly despairing tone.
“Right! Indie fans, I am joined today by two members of the fabulous up-and-coming indie band Rumor! With me in the studio are frontwoman and lead guitarist Sana Tripathi—”
“Hey! It’s a pleasure to be here.”
“—and bad girl bassist Arkady Patel.”
“Bad girl?” Arkady repeated, sounding halfway between taken aback and annoyed. Kestrel just shook her head.
“Ignore her. She’s got a thing for a certain… aesthetic.”
Next to Arkady, Sana was doing an incredibly poor job of hiding her laughter. “It’s the combat boots,” she whispered to Arkady.
“These are practical,” Arkady told her in a tone that suggested they’d had this conversation a few times. Sana said nothing, but straightened back up with a smirk.
“Sana — or should I call you ‘Captain’?” Piper began playfully. Sana grimaced.
“In hindsight, it was a poor choice to share that nickname in an interview.”
“You know, I think it suits you,” said Piper. “There’s something commanding about your aura. Sana, you and the band — which I understand you and Arkady originally started as a duo a few years ago—”
“That’s right,” Sana confirmed.
“You’ve always had a dedicated and loyal following, even from your early days — and we’re proud to have been playing your music here on this station for almost as long — but I think it’s fair to say the past few months have seen that rocket to a whole new level,” Piper said. “You got signed to a record label belonging to the mysterious but notoriously discerning Red Gregor, are working on your second album, and played a major gig at the CUI stadium just a few weeks ago. And we are definitely going to talk later about what went down at that gig, which is already the stuff of online legend — but first I want to backtrack a little, because I think the moment that everything started happening for you was when you added a new member to your band. In the middle of a gig, if the rumours are true. Can you tell us how that happened?”
Sana and Arkady exchanged a sidelong glance, and Arkady gave Sana a tiny nod. Sana took a deep breath, and began to tell the story.
---
“Jeeter, for the last time, put the keytar away,” Arkady said irritably as she and Sana entered the draughty, abandoned warehouse that the band was using as their current rehearsal space. The acoustics were pretty weird, probably due to all the broken windows, but it was otherwise hard to beat a free place to rehearse — especially a free place with no asshole neighbours who would yell at them to turn it down and threaten to call the cops.
Admittedly, it was in kind of a rough area, but Arkady had only needed to knock someone unconscious with her bass once.
In retaliation, Brian played another bright riff on his beloved instrument, accompanied by some jazzy keyboard chords from Krejjh. The two had been jamming together before Arkady and Sana arrived. “Dude, c’mon, can’t you hear how good this sounds?” Brian wheedled. “How many other indie bands do you know that have a keytar?”
“None. For good reason,” Arkady said, unzipping her case and slinging her bass around her neck. Sana, unpacking the sound equipment, smiled in fond amusement at their well-worn argument.
“It would give us such a great edge! Totally unique. And Krejjh and I have so many ideas that would sound great with both instruments—”
“Okay, Jeeter,” Arkady interrupted him, twiddling one of her tuning pegs. “You can play the keytar. Just as soon as you find us someone else who can play the drums.” She stooped to plug her bass into the portable amplifier that Sana had just unpacked. “Or are you planning to grow an extra pair of hands so you can play both at once?”
“Oooh! No, I should have an extra pair of hands!” Krejjh immediately (and predictably) enthused. “Then I’d sound four times as awesome! Four hands, all rockin’ out!”
“I think you mean ‘twice as awesome’,” Sana told them, as Brian reluctantly put away his keytar and picked up his neglected drumsticks.
“With me, twice the hands equals four times the awesome,” Krejjh replied with irrefutable logic. Brian laughed and held up a hand.
“Dude, high five.”
Sana waited for the two of them to finish their congratulatory high-five before she called the band to order. “Okay, guys — remember that we’re only a few days out from our gig at the IGR Corp function, so we need to have our crowd-pleasers up to standard.”
Arkady immediately wrinkled her nose. “Ugh, corporates. Why are we taking money from them again?”
“Because we need to pay for rent and food,” Sana said, bluntly. “And they’re giving us a lot for it. I know none of us love playing corporate gigs—”
“Understatement.”
“—but we are living a hand to mouth existence at this point, and if I can guarantee our survival as a band by relieving some corporates of their excess funds, then I’m going to do just that,” Sana continued. She waited a beat, and then added, “Also, we’re gonna let them get really drunk and then start playing our best anti-capitalist anthems, and see how long it takes for them to notice.”
Arkady broke into a shit-eating grin. “That’s more like it.” Krejjh cheered, and Brian did a little run-down on his drumkit, hitting each of the drums in turn.
“All right, let’s start with ‘Fear for the Storm’? One, two, three, four…” Sana started strumming the intro on her guitar, joined after a few beats by Krejjh’s melody on the keyboard.
“So long, can’t dodge the dawn, red light shines on and on and on and on and on…”
---
Arkady had been on edge ever since the band set foot in the agonisingly hipster office complex — excuse me, ‘headquarters’ — belonging to IGR Corp.
It wasn’t just the fact that these guys were extremely corporate corporates, or that the whole place radiated an almost aggressively minimalist aesthetic, or that the walls were covered in bullshit, chipper slogans that were all fancy ways of saying, ‘Work should be your existence – if isn’t, you’re dead to us’ — although those things sure as hell didn’t help, reminding her of the absolute worst parts of every soul-sucking corporate job she’d worked before Sana mercifully re-entered her life and suggested they form a band.
No, there was just this weird vibe, like everyone was super on edge and trying to hide it — the higher-ups were stone-faced, muttering into earpieces or barking orders at underlings, who scurried, terrified, to carry out their wishes. And everyone else, from the tech types in plain white T-shirts and jeans to the smartly-dressed sales reps in suits, looked like they were there on pain of death. Wasn’t this supposed to be a party?
The atmosphere didn’t go unnoticed by the other band members. “Kind of a weird feel to this place,” Jeeter remarked as he unpacked his drumkit on the raised platform at the front of the ‘rec center’ where they would be performing. Normally, setting up was a noisy, clumsy affair, with the band elbowing each other, tripping over wires, and getting in each other’s way in the tiny space they were afforded in bars and nightclubs. Here, the platform that would be their makeshift stage was huge and extremely visible — but everyone was completely ignoring them. There was also very little background noise for a room packed with people, and the band found themselves speaking in hushed murmurs, almost tiptoeing around. “You’d think there would be a bit more… chatter?”
“Maybe the alcohol just isn’t flowing yet,” Sana speculated, but she sounded uneasy as she looked out over the tense crowd. Even Krejjh, with their signature hot pink, heart-shaped sunglasses perched on top of their dyed-lavender hair, dressed in a clashing, flamboyant jumble of clothes and accessories, seemed subdued.
Arkady plugged in her bass with a burst of static, and deliberately played a loud riff. Brian startled and dropped his drumstick, but not a single member of the sea of blandly-dressed IGR Corp employees flinched.
Weird.
The sound equipment was all set up, sound check performed and instruments tuned by half past, but the set wasn’t due to start until o’clock. Normally, Arkady would be making a beeline for the bar, but she didn’t really feel like rubbing shoulders with any of these weird drones. She found herself reflexively checking the exits, mentally charting their fastest route out of there in case something really fucked up started going down. Sana half-jokingly called it paranoia; Arkady called it long, hard experience.
It was on one of her scans of the room that she noticed the woman with the septum piercing. Arkady chalked it up to professional interest — as a kid, she’d picked up some extra money working as an assistant in a tattoo and piercing shop, The Landing. She’d first met Sana there when the other woman came in on several occasions to have work done on an amazingly intricate floral sleeve tattoo — her own design. Later, Sana had led a campaign to save The Landing from being shut down over a bunch of bullshit health code violations so that the billionaire Cresswin family — who owned the property — could sell it off to a shitty corporation.
The campaign hadn’t worked, and there was now a high rise office block where Arkady’s home from home had once stood. But Arkady had never forgotten Sana.
Anyway, it was definitely the woman’s piercing and not anything else about her appearance that caught Arkady’s attention first. But then she noticed that there was something off about her body language and the way she was moving — something that Arkady recognised. She wasn’t scurrying about in a panic or affecting bored disinterest; her eyes were flickering around the room, carefully monitoring the comings and goings of the other employees while seeming not to do so. There were little devices studded around the room that Arkady had clocked as security cameras the moment they entered (it was the kind of thing she made a habit of noticing), and she saw the woman glancing up at them.
She was dressed like an employee – white blouse, dark rinse blue jeans – so why was she acting like she was casing the joint? Of course, Arkady reasoned, the outfit could easily have been chosen to blend in. It didn’t necessarily mean she worked there.
“Seen something interesting, ‘Kady?” Sana asked playfully. Arkady didn’t startle, but it was a near thing; she’d been so focused on watching this woman.
Unfortunately, Sana saw where she’d been looking. “You know, we’ve still got close to half an hour before we start our first set,” she said. “You can go and mingle.”
“I’m not here to socialise,” Arkady said witheringly. “Least of all with corporate drones.” She tore her eyes away from the woman to meet Sana’s amused look.
“I’m just saying, you seemed pretty absorbed there…” Sana said, and Arkady rolled her eyes, determined not to respond to her best friend’s teasing. She glanced back at the spot where the woman had been standing and found it empty.
A second later, Arkady had found her again, weaving through the crowd with her head ducked down. She was taking an odd route across the room that Arkady realised must have been calculated to avoid the security cameras. Occasionally she disappeared, behind people or objects (like a huge, obviously fake ficus plant), but it wasn’t hard for Arkady to spot her again. Clearly there was some kind of purpose to what she was doing, but the woman wasn’t a professional.
There was an elevator against the far wall, and as Arkady watched, the doors opened and a small group of people in suits – latecomers to the party – walked out of it. The woman mingled with them briefly, and then disappeared inside the elevator. The doors closed.
Well, that had been a way to kill five minutes, but now Arkady was stuck with nothing to do again. Krejjh and Jeeter had pulled out a pack of cards, and were playing one of their weird games on top of Krejjh’s keyboard. Arkady turned to Sana, about to make another comment about how much this place creeped her out, when she caught sight of the other person moving across the room.
Judging by the expensive suit, they were a higher-up, and were taking none of the precautions the woman had when making their way across the room, which suggested that they were confident about being allowed to do whatever it was they were doing. And to Arkady, it looked an awful lot like they were following the woman she’d seen. Based on the way the suit jacket fell, she’d also bet even money that they were armed.
Sure enough, the suit called the elevator, and disappeared into it a second later. Arkady swore under her breath.
It was none of her goddamn business whether a person she didn’t even know might be in danger, Arkady told herself. She was here to play music, not to get in the middle of whatever might be going down at this godawful corporation. Which again, was none of her business anyway.
Her resolve lasted all of ten seconds.
“I’m going to get a drink,” she told Sana, and placed her bass onto its stand.
“Oooh! Bring me a cocktail – no, a mocktail!” Krejjh said. Sana just looked at her quizzically.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Arkady nodded briefly. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and jumped down off the platform.
She wasn’t under any illusions that Sana wouldn’t notice where she was going, and just hoped that her best friend would trust her to be back in time for the set. She slipped through the crowd, following the same path that the woman had taken to avoid the watchful eyes of the security cameras.
This worked right up until she entered the elevator, where sure enough, a security camera was embedded into the top corner. How had this woman planned to avoid getting caught?
Arkady pulled out her smartphone, and began to quickly and expertly worm her way into the closed network that IGR Corp was using for its security systems. After just a few moments, she’d managed to identify the IP address that the lift camera was using, and wow, whoever had set up this system was either incredibly lazy or was trying to lay out a welcome mat for hackers. They hadn’t bothered to change the default access password.
Arkady wound back the last few minutes of recorded video, and watched as the woman with the septum piercing pressed the button for the top floor. Arkady did the same, and as the elevator moved upwards, she introduced a glitch that would cause the security camera to loop footage of an empty elevator instead of showing who was actually inside. Then she worked to edit out the archive footage of the woman riding up in the elevator, and of herself getting in.
If it turned out that there was nothing weird going on here after all, well, she’d had some fun exploiting the corporates’ shitty security system.
But Arkady was pretty sure there was something weird going on.
The elevator came to a silent stop, and Arkady silently thanked the deities she didn’t really believe in for the fact that this place was too hipster to have an elevator that made a noise when it arrived at the right floor. The doors slid open, and Arkady immediately spotted another security camera on exiting the elevator. God, these corporates were paranoid. But apparently not paranoid enough to pay their security person to do their job properly.
Annoyingly, the security cameras for this floor seemed to be on a separate network, and Arkady started another hack as she crept down the corridor, straining her ears for the sounds of a confrontation. Further down, she saw an office door swinging open, as if someone had gone through it in a hurry. Arkady approached it, being careful to stay out of sight of the doorway. Closer to, she could hear a voice coming from inside – the suit’s, if she had to guess.
“…sure CEO Golding-Frederick will be very interested to hear just what you’re doing in her office, Ms. Liu.”
“Seiders, I can explain,” the woman – Liu – replied, her voice high with tension. “Project ADVANCE – it’s not what we’ve been told. The company is using it to-”
“What the company may or may not be doing with Project ADVANCE is not your concern,” Seiders said smoothly, over her, “and is a long way above your pay grade. But I’d be very interested to learn where you got your information from.”
“Do you know what’s going on at this company?” Liu demanded, outraged. “And that’s – you have no problems with what they’re doing?”
The closed network for the top floor of the building was much less of a pushover than the elevator, and Arkady kept half of her attention on the conversation inside the room as she worked to find a flaw in the system. Finally, she made it in, and began trying different password combinations for the camera in the hallway.
“It’s not my job to ask questions, Ms. Liu,” Seiders had been saying. “Neither is it yours. And if you value your job – not to mention the safety and security of your loved ones – you’ll step away from that computer, and go back downstairs to the party.”
“Are you threatening me? Are you threatening my family?” Liu demanded. “No, I’m not going to stay silent about this. Someone has to take a stand against what this company is doing. And if anything happens to me, that’ll only raise more questions.”
“We’re very good at making those questions go away,” said Seiders, and Arkady heard Liu suck in a breath. She moved so that she could see inside the room and shit, that was a gun. Arkady rapidly began calculating her angle of attack. “Didn’t you ever wonder what happened to Connors from Engineering?”
“That’s not – you can’t just make a person disappear,” Liu said, desperately. “I – I have insurance! Documents that I’ve sent to a friend of mine. If I don’t check in with them in two hours, they’re going to send them to a journalist contact, and it’ll be all over the press in the morning.”
Arkady could hear the lie in her voice so clearly, and she knew Seiders could, too. “If you had enough evidence to be worth a damn, you wouldn’t have broken into this office,” they replied. “I’m going to ask you one last time. Step away from the-”
Arkady slammed into the room, deliberately making as much noise as she could to draw Seiders’ attention. She took two, three steps towards them and grabbed their gun hand, forcing it down and towards the floor. She managed to hook one arm around their throat, pulling back and applying pressure. Seiders choked, struggling and jerking against Arkady’s grip. With the hand that was holding their gun hand, Arkady twisted and pulled their fingers open, causing the weapon to drop to the floor.
“Liu, grab the gun!” Arkady ordered. She saw the other woman yank something out of the computer that looked like a flash drive, stowing it inside her blouse. She dove for the gun at the same time that Seiders managed to thrust an elbow back, driving it into Arkady’s midsection.
All the air left Arkady’s lungs and as she struggled to draw a breath in, Seiders took advantage of her loosened grip to twist free. They grappled with Liu for the gun, but Liu succeeded in kicking it away, where it spun underneath a nearby cabinet. Then Arkady was on Seiders again, jumping onto their back and choking them.
She heard the sound of running footsteps, and someone else burst into the room. Arkady didn’t get a chance to see who it was before Seiders slammed their head back, knocking into Arkady’s and making bright white lights explode across her vision. She dropped to the floor and staggered, trying to clear her head.
She heard an oof and a thud, and blinked rapidly, sure that she would open her eyes to see Seiders bearing down on Liu – or worse, standing over her unconscious body.
Instead, she was greeted with the sight of Seiders crumpling like a sack of potatoes as Sana flexed her fist, having delivered a powerful uppercut that knocked them out cold.
Silence reigned for a few seconds, broken only by Liu’s sharp, panicked breaths. Rubbing her head, Arkady said, “Hey, Sana.”
“The next time you decide to go off on a rescue mission,” Sana said, wryly, “you could at least tell me where you’re going.” She frowned as she took in Arkady’s dishevelled state. “Is your head all right?”
“I’ll be fine,” said Arkady. She was more concerned with Liu, who looked like she might be on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, uh, it’s okay. We took care of them.”
“Who-” Liu managed, taking deep breaths in and out, clearly trying to steady her breathing. “Who are you?”
Sana smiled at her, warm and reassuring. “My name is Sana Tripathi, and this is Arkady Patel. We’re-”
There was a noise that sounded not unlike a herd of elephants storming down the corridor, and Arkady closed her eyes. She had a bad feeling she knew what was about to happen. Sure enough, in the next second Krejjh and Jeeter clattered through the door in all their clashing multicoloured glory: Jeeter in his signature loud paid shirt and those stupid khakis, and Krejjh with their… everything. Most of the clattering was coming from Krejjh’s many bangles.
“Cap’n Tripathi!” Krejjh said. “We’re here to assist you with – oh my god, are they dead?” They stared at the unconscious form of Seiders on the floor.
“They’re not dead, they’re just unconscious,” Arkady said, irritated. “Did you two really take off without anyone to watch the equipment?”
Sana turned back to Liu like nothing had happened. “We’re the band,” she finished succinctly. “I’m the guitarist and lead singer, Arkady here plays the bass, and Krejjh and Brian are our keyboardist and drummer.” She indicated each of them in turn. Jeeter waved, and Krejjh saluted for some reason. “And who are you?”
Liu blinked at her. “You… you just saved my life, and you don’t even know who I am?” she said. “Why would you do that?”
“For one thing, because you’d probably be dead if we hadn’t,” Arkady said. “You’re welcome for that, by the way.” She pulled out the phone to finish the hack on the security cameras that she’d started before she entered the room.
“I – no, I know that. I’m not ungrateful,” Liu said, sounding a little stung. “I’m just a little… in shock. My name is Violet Liu,” she added to Sana. “I, uh, work in IGR Corp’s neuroresearch division.”
“Good to meet you, Violet Liu,” Sana said, sounding like they were old friends catching up at the bar instead of total strangers talking to each other over an unconscious body. “’Kady, are you erasing the security footage?”
Arkady nodded.
“Good; Brian and I will carry our friend here,” Sana indicated Seiders with her foot, “into the hallway. I think I noticed a closet there we can hide them in.”
“Uh… are you guys really the band?” Liu asked, as Sana and Jeeter – who was much stronger than he looked – bent down to pick up Seiders. “You seem very…” She struggled to find the right words. “…good at this.”
“We have some unorthodox skillsets,” Sana said, beaming and dimpling at her. “We don’t normally make a habit of rescuing people in the middle of a gig, but Arkady has a soft spot for damsels in distress.”
Arkady fumbled her phone, and nearly dropped it. “Sana,” she hissed, mortified. Sana, who was already partway out of the door, winked and disappeared into the hallway.
After a moment, Arkady realised that she and Liu were the only ones in the room, Krejjh evidently having decided to go along and supervise, or something. She refocused her attention on the hack she was carrying out; she’d managed to hack the hallway security camera, and was erasing the footage from that, but she still needed to do the one in the office.
“Uh…” Liu awkwardly broke the silence. “Is there anything that you need me to…”
“Is anyone likely to be monitoring the security cameras in real-time?” Arkady asked her. The question came out sounding a little harsher than she’d intended, but it was hard to be diplomatic when she was focused on trying to break into a security system. Also, it was a little annoying that Liu apparently hadn’t thought about security cameras beyond the ones on the ground floor.
“N-no, the system is all automated,” Liu replied. Well, that was something, at least. “I, uh, I do have a virus that I was planning to use on the security system that would corrupt the footage. I just needed to find an access point.”
Fine, so there had been a plan of sorts. “This is quicker,” Arkady told her. “And the way I’m doing it, it won’t be so obvious that someone has tampered with the footage.”
“Thank you for that,” Liu said, quietly. “And thank you for – I mean, you don’t even know me, but you came up here to help me. Why?”
Arkady shrugged, keeping her shoulders hunched and avoiding Liu’s gaze. “You looked like you were in trouble,” she said shortly. And that was the office camera done. Arkady resisted the urge to change the password to something rude, and withdrew from the network. “And I don’t like corporations. What were you trying to do, blow the whistle on them or something?”
“Um, I-”
Before she could explain, Sana poked her head back into the room. “Arkady, are you done? Because I don’t think we should be hanging around up here.”
“I’m done,” Arkady said with a nod, pocketing her phone. The two of them joined Sana, Krejjh and Jeeter in the hallway.
“We need a plan to get Violet back downstairs and out of the building without her being seen,” Sana said quickly. “’Kady, do you think you two can make it out in fifteen minutes?”
Arkady huffed. “I can hack the security cams, but I can’t actually make us invisible,” she pointed out. “People are gonna notice us. If we waited until you guys started the set, then we might have a better chance, while everyone’s attention is on the band.”
“Listen – it’s not that I don’t really appreciate the help,” Liu cut in. Her face was set, like she was preparing to go to the gallows. “But none of this needs to be your problem. It’s my mess, and I can get myself out of it. You guys should go and start your set.”
“Oh, pshaw!” said Krejjh. “We’re not just gonna leave you to the bears!”
Jeeter smiled. “To the wolves,” he corrected Krejjh.
“Are y’sure? Because bears can be pretty terrifying.”
“We’re not about to abandon you now,” Sana said to Liu, gently. “Between the five of us, I’m sure we can figure out a pretty good plan.”
“Can’t we just pretend to be loading something into the truck?” Jeeter suggested. “And Violet can help us? We could give her a band jacket – make her look like she’s with us-”
“It’s too bad you don’t play!” Krejjh said to Violet. “We could add you into the set. The ultimate entourage!”
“Uh…” Violet said (at the same time as Arkady said, “Camouflage.”) “I mean, I do play something? But you guys already have a drummer.”
“Wait, you’re a drummer?” Jeeter said delightedly, as Krejjh straightened up so fast that Arkady thought they’d pull a muscle. Even Sana looked interested. “Are you good?”
“Have you ever played with a band before?” added Sana.
Liu smiled and shrugged awkwardly. “Well, drums aren’t really a solo instrument, so yeah. I used to jam with some friends in high school, and played some underground rock concerts in college. I was never really with a band – we just sort of used to form collectives based on who was around and wanted to play. It was fun, though.”
She’d avoided answering the question about how good she was, Arkady noticed, which probably meant she was good and was being modest about it. Goddamn it.
“So if, hypothetically speaking,” Sana said, “you joined a set without having rehearsed any of the music beforehand, would you be able to figure out a drum part?”
“Okay, hold on,” said Arkady, before Violet could respond. “Don’t you think IGR Corp is going to notice that one of their employees has just… joined the band?”
“We’ll swear up and down that it isn’t her,” Jeeter said. “And even if someone figures it out, what are they gonna do about it in front of everyone?”
“But wait, what about you?” Liu asked Jeeter. “Wouldn’t I be putting you out of a role in the band?”
“Nah,” Jeeter said happily. “I brought my keytar!”
“Oh my god,” Arkady groaned. She could tell when she was fighting a losing battle, but it didn’t stop her from making one last, token protest. “This is going to sound really goddamn weird.”
Sana grinned at her. “Well, you wanted to annoy some corporates,” she pointed out. “What better way to do it?”
---
The problem was, the new line-up didn’t sound weird at all.
It sounded good.
Liu, hastily disguised with an old band jacket and a spare pare of Krejjh’s sunglasses, fitted in with their set like she’d been rehearsing with them for weeks – months even. They did a quick sound check, Jeeter looking far too delighted as he amped up his keytar. Sana gave her usual cheerful introduction into the microphone, introducing the band as Renegade, the name they adopted for corporate gigs (Arkady was even more glad of it now, since it would make them harder to track down later). After a lukewarm reception from the assembled employees (none of whom seemed to notice, or care, that the band had grown an extra member), they launched into their first number, a reimagined cover of ‘What Shall We Do with the Drunken Sailor’.
It started off with Sana singing alone, before Krejjh joined in, their voices singing in close harmony, and then Arkady and finally Jeeter, the harmonies becoming increasingly layered as they went. The addition of the keytar made the song sound futuristic, almost the kind of thing you could imagine crews of space explorers singing together as they made their way into the unknown.
Liu picked up the beat easily, and as the song unfolded Arkady suddenly realised she could hear a fifth strand to the harmony, weaving in and out of the other voices, soft but distinctive: Liu was singing.
They moved on from the conventional crowd-pleasing openers to a more eclectic mix of songs, including some punk and anarchist numbers. Each time, Arkady was sure that the choice was going to throw Liu off, but she adapted smoothly to each one, altering her style to fit the vibe of the song. In one of the louder, heavier songs she even threw in an impromptu drum solo that had Krejjh whooping at the keyboard and Sana laughing as she riffed on her guitar.
Sana threw Arkady a look as the song ended, and there was a light in her eyes that Arkady knew far, far too well. It was the same light that Arkady had seen when Sana tracked her down at her latest deadbeat job and persuaded her to quit and start playing music with her; the same light that she’d had when they met Brian and Krejjh a year later and Sana had decided to turn their duo into a band.
Sana wanted Liu to join Rumor. And Arkady couldn’t even think of a good argument against it, apart from the fact that they barely knew anything about the woman other than that she could play the drums. And that she was a corporate, which Arkady thought was important not to lose sight of, even if Liu wasn’t on the greatest terms with her employer any more.
Speaking of which. Arkady was on high alert throughout the whole set, constantly scanning the crowd for signs of trouble, anyone who might be looking too closely at Liu or showed signs of moving towards the elevator. As they’d been setting up, Liu had told them that Seiders was middle management: someone who outranked her, but not someone who held a position of particular influence within the company or had the ear of the CEO. Someone who had ambitions above their station. It didn’t mean no-one would notice them missing, of course; but it meant that they might be someone who, for instance, would go after a rogue employee without notifying their superior, hoping to reap all of the credit.
The band moved into their final number, ‘Landers Never Stand Down’ – one of Sana and Arkady’s early compositions, whose lyrics Sana had written as a tribute to The Landing, and her and Arkady’s shared history. Normally, Arkady would object to wasting it on a corporate audience, but tonight, it felt like the right kind of ‘fuck you’.
“Landers never stand down,
Landers never bow,
Landers never stand down,
We don’t know how…”
They wound up the song in their usual fashion, repeating the chorus and getting fiercer and more defiant with each repetition, before ending in a final blaze of guitar chords.
“Thank you, everyone, you’ve been a wonder to perform for!” Sana said into the microphone as the chords faded away. She said the same thing at the end of every gig, but it had never felt more like a colossal understatement. “We’ve been Renegade, and we hope you have a great night!”
There was a small scattering of applause. Sana beamed out into the audience again, and then turned away from the microphone, sliding the power to ‘off’. “Well, that was-”
“Attention, all IGR Corp employees,” came a voice over the loudspeaker system. Sana froze, and Liu, who’d been leaning over to say something to Krejjh, paled visibly. “Please stay where you are. We will be carrying out a routine attendance check. Please do not exit the building.”
“Attendance check?” Arkady repeated.
“It’s a standard employee procedure,” Liu explained. “To make sure everyone’s… accounted for at corporate functions. Supposedly they’re optional, but it looks really bad if you’re not there and you don’t have a reason.”
“Do we think there’s a chance this is linked to…” Sana gestured towards the elevator. Liu shrugged helplessly.
“It could be, but even if it’s not, they’re gonna discover that Seiders is missing pretty quickly. And that I’m… unaccounted for.”
“Don’t worry,” said Jeeter, reassuringly. “We’ll figure out a way to get you out before that happens.”
“Dashing escapes are our speciality!” Krejjh contributed. This was true; the band hadn’t always played at the most above-the-board venues, and there’d been more than a few times they’d needed to get the hell out of Dodge before things got ugly. Well, uglier.
Sana nodded. “For now, just keep packing down, like nothing’s wrong,” she said.
As Krejjh packed down their keyboard and Jeeter helped Liu to disassemble the drumkit, Arkady said to Sana, “I’ll go with Liu, and we can sneak out a back entrance-”
Sana shook her head. “It’ll be more suspicious if we’re not seen leaving as a group.”
“We’ll just say we’re going to the bathroom,” Arkady said. “We’re allowed to do that, aren’t we?”
Sana started to reply, but then stopped, squinting at something on the other side of the room. Arkady tried to follow her gaze, but couldn’t see what she was looking at. “What is it?”
“I thought I saw…” Sana shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s try the front way first, and if they won’t let us leave, we’ll get creative.”
Unsurprisingly, when they carried the first load of equipment over to the rec room entrance, two stoic-looking IGR employees blocked their path, bouncer-style. Arkady eyed one of them, pretty sure she could take her in a one-to-one fight.
“Sorry, we can’t let you leave while an attendance check is ongoing,” said the employee, with a bland detachment. “Company policy.”
“It should only take about an hour,” the other added. “You can enjoy the free refreshments while you wait.”
An hour? Even if they hadn’t had a very pressing reason to get the hell out of there, Arkady would have been looking for the nearest fire escape to break out of. They were just supposed to cool their heels at IGR headquarters for an hour?
“Can we not at least load our equipment into the van in the meantime?” Sana asked reasonably. “This is a very heavy amplifier…” She made a show of struggling with the amp she’d been lifting with ease a few seconds ago, and Arkady suppressed a snort.
One of the corporates had opened their mouth, looking like they were about to object, when a friendly voice spoke from behind them. “Is there a problem here?”
They all turned to look at the person who’d spoken, and Arkady carefully masked her surprise: the tall, dark-skinned man dressed in an expensive-looking suit jacket, T-shirt and jeans combination was none other than Red Gregor, a close friend of Campbell’s. They’d met him once or twice, but what was he doing here?
“Who are you?” asked Corporate One, audibly unimpressed.
“Theodore Gregor; I’m the band’s executive producer,” Gregor introduced himself smoothly, handing Corporate Two a business card. Their eyes widened at whatever was written on it. “My clients have another engagement to get to tonight, so you can understand why it’s very important they be allowed to leave promptly. Additionally, their contract stipulates that they’re only obliged to perform for your company until-” he made a show of checking a gold watch, “-nine-thirty P.M., after which time we’ll need to bill you for every additional half-hour. Will your supervisors be signing off on the additional expenses?”
Corporates One and Two were visibly thrown by the torrent of information. Krejjh made a noise that was hastily stifled, while Arkady did her best to look bored and important.
“I… no, let me just contact my superior to get you the all-clear,” said Corporate One, reluctantly. “Johnson will help you to load your equipment into your…” She eyed the band’s battered van, visibly out of place in the parking lot full of sleek cars. “…vehicle.”
“Great!” Sana said brightly, handing the amplifier to Corporate Two, who took it and staggered slightly. As Corporate One spoke into a walkie-talkie, Sana and Red Gregor strode quickly ahead, the rest of the band trailing behind. Arkady lengthened her steps to catch up with them so that she could hear their quiet exchange.
“…doing here? Did Campbell send you?” Sana was asking Red Gregor.
“In a manner of speaking,” Red Gregor said. “He talks about you so much, I wanted to come and hear what all the fuss was about. Love the new line-up – you guys sound completely different to when I last heard you play.”
“It’s kind of a new thing,” Sana admitted. “New as of… today. I can fill you in, it’s just a long story.”
“I can’t wait to hear it,” Red Gregor said, and Arkady remembered that she’d liked him, the couple of times that they’d met. She could see why he and Campbell were good friends. “But let’s focus on getting you out of here. I’m guessing you need an exit?”
“And fast,” Sana agreed.
“Well, fast’s your speciality,” Red Gregor said with a grin. Sana smiled back at him, and Arkady wondered if Red was basing this off stories from Campbell, or if he and Sana knew each other better than Arkady had realised. It was a strange thought to have in the middle of everything.
Sana unlocked the van and slid open the back door. While Krejjh, Jeeter and Liu loaded their items into the trunk, overseen by Corporate Two, Red Gregor pretended to help Arkady and Sana with their instruments.
“So what now?” Arkady asked Sana. “I think I can probably take Johnson.”
“Arkady, you’ve already been in one fight today,” Sana said, disapproving.
“What’s your point?”
“I have a more bloodless suggestion,” Red Gregor said. “You’ve got a few pieces of equipment left in the venue, right? I’ll go back inside with Johnson to ‘collect’ them, say we’re going to check their supervisor has given you the go-ahead, and you guys make a break for it. I’ll bring the equipment in my car and meet you at the dive bar, half a mile down the road.”
“Are you sure you’ll be able to get away? What happens when they realise we’re gone?” Sana asked.
“I’ll come up with something,” Red Gregor assured her. “Just focus on getting yourselves out of here.”
He walked over to Johnson, who was slightly bemusedly watching Jeeter and Liu (who were clearly stalling for time) rearrange pieces of the drumkit in the trunk, and took him by the arm, steering him back towards the building and talking rapidly all the while.
“As soon as they’re out of sight, everyone needs to get in the van quickly,” Sana instructed. “And hang onto something. Okay? Now!”
Krejjh slammed the trunk of the van shut and everyone piled into the back without a word of protest. Arkady jumped into the front as Sana slid into the driver’s seat, reversing out of the parking space like a shot and executing an alarming hairpin turn to get them onto the road. Liu cried out in alarm, not used to Sana’s driving, and Arkady hung grimly onto the handle on the inside of her door.
“Everyone okay back there?” Sana asked, peering into the rearview mirror.
Arkady looked back to see Jeeter and Krejjh scrambling to put on their seatbelts, each of them having thrown an arm over Liu to keep her in place. “Oops, sorry, I forgot we don’t have a seatbelt for the middle!” Sana said cheerfully as they thudded over a speedbump. Liu closed her eyes. “There’s normally only four of us.”
“It’s not far to where we’re going, right, Captain?” asked Jeeter.
“Just a half mile down the road,” said Sana. “Red Gregor’s going to meet us there with the rest of the equipment, as soon as he can get away.”
“What was he doing at the gig? Did Campbell tell him where we were?”
“I think so. He said that he wanted to come and hear us play,” Arkady said, watching buildings blur past on either side of them. “I guess it was lucky he did.”
“We would’ve figured something out,” Krejjh said confidently.
“Uh, who’s Campbell?” Liu asked, cautiously opening her eyes again.
“He’s our… manager? Kinda?” Krejjh replied. “He doesn’t tell us what to do or anything, but he has a lot of contacts, so he gets us most of our gigs.”
“Contacts in the music industry? Or contacts in like… events venues, bars and clubs?”
“Yes,” Krejjh said helpfully.
“He just has a lot of contacts,” Jeeter said with a smile. Arkady smirked at Liu’s look of consternation.
“Tonight’s gig did not come through Campbell,” said Sana, spotting the dive bar Red Gregor had specified and indicating to turn off the road. “We got it through an agency, Fowleys. I guess that’ll teach us not to go outside Campbell’s network.”
“Hey, it worked out!” Krejjh said. “We got a new drummer out of the deal.”
“Well, for tonight, at least,” Sana said, now reversing into a parking space. “I gotta say, Violet, the way you fitted in with our sound? That was amazing. Our set sounded better than I could’ve imagined.”
Liu blushed. “They were great songs,” she demurred, as the van came to a stop.
“Too bad it was wasted on IGR Corp,” Arkady remarked, undoing her seat belt as they all climbed out of the van.
They got a table in the corner of the dive bar, which was pretty full and made it easy to blend in. As Sana went to get them all drinks, Krejjh and Jeeter started up some kind of nonsensical word game. Arkady and Liu glanced at each other occasionally, but otherwise sat in awkward silence.
Finally, Arkady asked something that had been on her mind since she intervened in the confrontation between Liu and Seiders, though it had taken a back seat to more pressing concerns. “What was it you were trying to get from that computer, anyway?”
“Sorry?” Liu asked, looking away from Krejjh and Jeeter, where she’d been listening in on the game with a slightly baffled expression.
“In the CEO’s office,” Arkady clarified. “I saw you take a flash drive out of the computer. What were you trying to get?”
“Oh,” Liu said, drawing out the little drive from inside her blouse. “Yeah, I was… trying to copy some files onto it. I’m not sure how much I got, though – I had to pull it out before the transfer was complete, and I think they’re encrypted.”
“What kind of files are they?” Arkady asked, thinking that she could probably break the encryption in an afternoon. Maybe less.
Liu hesitated, and Arkady narrowed her eyes. “You’re not still trying to protect your company, are you? In case you don’t remember-”
“No, no,” Liu said quickly. “I just – I’m not sure if it would be safe to tell you. Safe for you,” she added. “Right now, you have plausible deniability if anyone questions you. You genuinely don’t know what’s on this flash drive. So maybe it would be better to keep it that way.”
Arkady was a little bit pacified by that, but still – “Considering I’ve already aided and abetted you, I think that ship has sailed,” she pointed out. “No-one is going to believe I did it without having any idea what you were up to. Which I’m fine with,” she added, as a guilt-stricken look crossed Liu’s face. “I made a choice to help you, and so did the others. But I may as well know what the stakes are.”
“Yeah, that’s… fair,” admitted Liu. Next to her, Krejjh was doing a fairly poor job of pretending not to listen in. “They’re blueprints. My company – the company – has been developing… do you know what IGR Corp does? What kind of a company it is?”
“Some kind of a tech company?” Arkady said. She vaguely remembered Sana saying something about that when they got the gig. She hadn’t really been paying attention to the details.
Liu nodded. “Smart technology – specifically, smart home technology. We produce – I mean, they produce things like smart security systems, smart doorbells, systems that can detect when someone has a medical emergency. Systems that are designed to help keep people safe.”
Arkady had to work to keep from grimacing. She wasn’t sure that being monitored by a computer 24/7 fitted everyone’s definition of ‘safety’, but maybe Liu had never had cause to doubt that the people with power had her best interests at heart. Lucky her.
“But then,” Liu went on, her voice bitter, “I found out that the latest product we were developing – the one that was supposed to make everyone’s lives so much easier, so much better – is being created as a surveillance device. To eavesdrop on people and send their data back to the company. And I know that a lot of smart devices have audio capabilities, but – this was hardwired in. Impossible to disable. And this weird, secretive new division of the company has been set up to process the data.”
“What are they gonna do with it?” Arkady asked.
“Who knows,” Liu said. “They could be collecting it for the government, but – I think it’s more likely they’re just planning to sell it on to the highest bidder.”
Arkady’s eyes narrowed, and she wished that Sana had brought the drinks already so that she’d have something to down.
“You know,” Liu said, her voice suddenly much softer. “I, uh. I still haven’t thanked you properly for, uh, well-”
“O-kay!” came Sana’s voice, loudly, as she finally arrived at their table carrying a small tray laden with glasses. “Sorry for the delay, guys, there was a heck of a crowd up at the bar. Also, the bartender was really interested in talking to me while he pulled these drinks.” She made a wry expression, her dimple deepening in one cheek. “Cheer up, ‘Kady, I’ve got your favourite-” She slid a pint glass of raspberry ale in front of Arkady.
“Thanks,” Arkady mumbled, not looking at Liu.
Red Gregor arrived not long after, having apparently evaded IGR Corp by pretending that he was going outside to look for the band, and then driving off with the equipment before anyone realised what was happening. Sana passed him a drink from the tray; no-one asked how she already knew his preferred drink order.
“So look,” said Arkady, after they’d done some small talk and toasted to a successful getaway (Sana’s idea, of course). “Not that we didn’t appreciate the save earlier – you had pretty good timing – but why’d you go to all the trouble of coming to an IGR Corp function just to hear us play? How did you even get in?”
“I know a lot of people,” Red Gregor said mysteriously, with a fluid shrug. “As for why I came – you probably don’t know this, but I’ve been getting into the music biz lately.”
Arkady tried to remember what ‘biz’ Red Gregor had been in before, and couldn’t. He was one of those people who seemed to do a bit of everything.
“That’s awesome!” said Krejjh, looking delighted. “Are you going to start a band? Or manage one?”
Red Gregor smiled. “Actually, neither. I’m starting a record label,” he said. “And I want to sign you guys to it.”
Liu choked on her drink; Jeeter said, “Wow, really?” and even Sana looked taken aback. Clearly this hadn’t been the answer she was expecting.
“Us?” she said, as if Gregor could have meant anyone else. “As in…” She gestured around the table, including Liu.
Red Gregor nodded. “Look, your new sound is like nothing I’ve ever heard from a band before,” he said. “Campbell has always spoken highly of you guys, and I really liked your originals the last time I heard you perform. But with this new line-up? I think you could become really big. If that’s something that you want, of course.”
Sana sat back in her chair, looking thoughtful, while Krejjh looked practically ready to vibrate out of theirs with excitement. “That would be a pretty big step for us,” she said. “Not that we wouldn’t love – more exposure, better opportunities-”
“Gigs in legal venues?” put in Jeeter.
“More above-the-board performances,” agreed Sana. “But we’ve only played once with this new line-up. We don’t know for sure if we can replicate that – and I mean, we’d be asking Violet to just drop everything and join us full-time-”
Red Gregor held up his hands. “Like I said, it’s completely up to you,” he said. “I’m not here to pressure you into something you’re not ready for. But don’t underestimate yourselves. I wouldn’t be offering if I didn’t have faith in you guys.”
Sana looked around the table, taking in the mixture of expressions, ranging from Krejjh’s eagerness to Liu’s uncertainty to Arkady’s… Arkady didn’t know what her face was doing. “We’ll have to put it to a vote,” she said, predictably. “And if any of you need more time to think this over-”
“I’m in!” Krejjh said instantly. “We rocked tonight! I want to keep on rocking that hard. And we should totally record an album.”
Jeeter smiled fondly. “I’m on board with anything that will let me keep playing the keytar,” he admitted. “And I thought we sounded pretty awesome, as well.”
Sana looked at Liu. “Violet, you’re the one who this would be the biggest change for,” she said. “The rest of us are already playing in a band full-time. Well, with the odd side gig,” she added, because yeah, they did not yet make enough money from performing to cover the bills. “You barely know us, and you’re not under any obligation to stick around – or to switch careers.”
Liu gave a slightly broken laugh. “Well, I don’t really think I can go back to my old one,” she said. “That option evaporated as soon as one of my colleagues pulled a gun on me. Not… sure I’ve really had time to process that yet.”
Sana nodded. “If it’s too soon-”
“But no amount of processing is going to make my situation any different,” Liu went on. “I could try to get another job in my field, but… IGR Corp is a pretty well-known company. Word’s going to get around that I’m untrustworthy, especially if they put it about that I tried to steal corporate secrets.”
“They can’t do that,” Sana said immediately. “I used to do some union work; whistleblowing is a protected activity, and it’s against the law for them to blacklist you – to make it more difficult for you to obtain future employment.”
Liu smiled slightly. “I don’t think IGR Corp are too concerned with breaking the law,” she pointed out. “I appreciate it, but… this isn’t my first experience with a hostile work environment.”
Okay, so maybe Arkady should take back her earlier thought about Liu never having had cause to distrust the people in power.
“Besides, I haven’t even blown the whistle on them yet – I’m not sure if the information I have is worth anything,” Liu said, a little grimly. “And anyway… I think it’s time for a clean slate. So, if you’ll have me… I’m in.”
Which just left Arkady. She could see how pleased Sana was that Liu was willing to join the band full-time, even though she was trying to hide it. Krejjh and Jeeter, too, were excited – and not just at the prospect of getting better gigs and earning more money (though that was a very appealing prospect).
The fact was, Red Gregor was right – they’d sounded like a completely new band during their performance. Arkady had always liked their stuff (of course she did; she’d even co-written some of it) but the new sound gave it a flair she hadn’t even realised it had been missing. As much as she couldn’t help thinking of the dozens of ways this could go wrong, she wanted them to keep sounding like that. She wanted to see what else they could do.
“‘Kady?” asked Sana.
Arkady took a deep breath. “Sure. Let’s do this.”
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tsrookie · 3 years
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Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.
So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.
1. ...Ready For It?
No one has to know
Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.
In the middle of the night, in my dreams
You should see the things we do, baby, mmm
In the middle of the night, in my dreams
I know I'm gonna be with you
So I take my time
Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.
2. End Game
Big reputation, big reputation
Ooh you and me would be a big conversation
These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.
Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long
And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song
For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease
For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities
Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌
I hit you like bang
We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't
*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌
I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me
Perfect for our chaotic MC😌
3. Don’t Blame Me
Do I... really have to explain this one?
For you, I would cross the line
I would waste my time
I would lose my mind
They say she's gone too far this time
Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?
And baby, for you, I would fall from grace
Just to touch your face
If you walk away
I'd beg you on my knees to stay
He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️
4. Delicate
This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me
Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
Commitment-phobia🙃
Sometimes I wonder when you sleep
Are you ever dreaming of me?
Sometimes when I look into your eyes
I pretend you're mine, all the damn time
They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.
5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)
What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.
6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)
MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.
Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine
You've ruined my life, by not being mine
We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!
You're so gorgeous
I can't say anything to your face
'Cause look at your face
And I'm so furious
At you for making me feel this way
But, what can I say?
You're gorgeous
Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.
And you should think about the consequence
Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)
Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺
Ocean blue eyes looking in mine
I feel like I might sink and drown and die
No explanation required.
You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah
There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have
You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad
The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓
7. King Of My Heart
I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own
I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone
Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.
And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for
King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa
And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go
King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa
This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺
Late in the night, the city's asleep
Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep
Change my priorities
The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury
This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.
Is the end of all the endings?
My broken bones are mending
With all these nights we're spending
Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.
Up on the roof with a school girl crush
Drinking beer out of plastic cups
They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅
Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff
Baby, all at once, this is enough
We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺
8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied
My, my love had been frozen
Deep blue, but you painted me golden
Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.
I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted
This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes😬 (but love each other anyway🥺)
The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)
9. Dress
Our secret moments
In a crowded room
They got no idea
About me and you
I mean... pretty obvious😌
Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me
And I woke up just in time
Now I wake up by your side
My one and only, my lifeline
This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁
10. Call It What You Want
I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)
11. New Years Day
Don't read the last page
But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away
I want your midnights
But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day
MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)
I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe
Or if you strike out and you're crawling home
The above explanation for these lines as well.
Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere
Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.
You and me forevermore
These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.
——————————
If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.
Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.
The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙
Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie
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jamesbucketbarnes · 4 years
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SAVIOR
Tumblr media
not my gif, all creds to the owner ☺️
bucky barnes x avenger!reader
PLOT: you and bucky are trapped in a HYDRA base and about to be killed. or maybe not...
warnings: violence, minor language, creepy HYDRA dude, a bit cliché :)
a/n: hello!!! this is my first little story on tumblr. if you are reading this, i hope you enjoy. have a good day!!! oh and if you’d like to request, go ahead. i’d be so happy to write a one shot for anyone. i’ll write for anyone in marvel. 🥰
y/n woke up in a room she didn’t recognize. the lighting in the room was limited to one singular dim lamp mounted on the ceiling.
“ah she wakes!” a man with a heavy russian accent exclaimed while stepping into the dim light.
y/n jerked in her chair, attempting to get away from the man in front of her. she had no idea of what his attentions were and had decided quickly she didn’t exactly want to find out.
“don’t bother. you are tied in pretty well.” the man stated.
he wasn’t wrong. her wrists felt raw from the thick rope that was tied around them. her legs were tied to the individual chair legs. she looked around for anything that she could use to, at least, try and escape. when she turned to search, her gaze was met with bucky tied up in a chair next to her. his pale face resting on his shoulder, still out cold.
the events that happened before y/n was in this chair came back to her.
SHIELD had gotten word that this HYDRA base was low risk and at the brink of collapsing. they sent y/n and bucky in to finish the deed and take down the remaining HYDRA agents in the building. shortly into their mission they were ambushed and captured. y/n wished she would have asked for a source on the info SHIELD had received because obviously it wasn’t quite reliable.
“oh my, i am quite impolite. i forgot to introduce to my friends.”
the head man stepped aside. y/n could see the silhouettes of four people guarding the door. she squinted and saw the red serpent logo on each of their uniforms.
yep, definitely HYDRA.
“my friends, this is agent y/n y/l/n. very skilled and obviously very beautiful.”
y/n held her tongue as he spoke to the other HYDRA agents, still searching around the room and squirming in her chair.
“soldat, you are alive. i was beginning to doubt you’d wake up.”
bucky’s eyes flickered open slowly. as soon as he spotted the familiar logo upon the man’s chest, he squirmed in his chair. his eyes screamed to y/n how terrified he was.
“oh soldat, you know better than that. lovely, over here already tried it.” he pointed to y/n.
bucky’s eyes met y/n’s and she smiled weakly to show him that she was alright, but his eyes were flooded with horror. bucky swiftly turned back towards the man in front of both of them.
“what do you want?” bucky asked quietly.
the leader hummed, “it’s quite a simple request. all i want to know is how SHIELD knows where to find HYDRA. oh and maybe our asset back.”
y/n looked at bucky again. he had closed his eyes in fear and dropped his head down to his chest.
“why would we give either of those things to you? i’m sure as hell never giving bucky back to you assholes.” y/n pressed angrily.
y/n was always very protective of bucky for a few reasons. y/n was one of the few people that bucky felt comfortable talking to other than steve. bucky did talked to the other avengers only when it was necessary. steve and y/n were the only ones that he was confident speaking to about anything.
“soldat, you found someone that loves you after all the ‘terrible’ things you’ve done. how, charming.” the HYDRA agents said walking towards bucky.
“get away from him!” y/n shouted, “i am never doing anything for HYDRA. why the hell should i? you take good people and turn them into pawns using torture.”
the HYDRA base leader pulled a pistol out of the waistband of his pants and slowly walked towards y/n.
“well darling,” he ran the gun down her jawline, “if you don’t tell me anything, i don’t think you’ll like what you get in return.”
the gun landed straight in the middle of her forehead. she looked him straight in the eyes.
“go to hell.” she muttered angrily.
“fiesty.”
the gun was removed from her forehead and the man made his way back over to where he was standing previously, in front of both of them.
“well from my knowledge, i know you’re the one to get the information out of.” he pointed towards y/n, “pretty high up in the ranks. gets to know a lot of the secrets.”
“what are you going to do? torture me? i will never give you what you want.” y/n spat towards him.
the man hums, “we’ll see about that agent y/l/n.”
he waved his hand in the air and a knife was handed to him.
y/n watched his every move as he walked towards her.
“you are going to give me the information i want.” he whispered in her ear.
“no, i will not.” y/n whispered back.
he sighed and grabbed her face harshly, tracing the knife delicately along her cheekbone leaving a shallow cut. y/n gasped and wiggled in her chair trying to get away from his grasp. she felt the blood slowly start to leak down her face.
“yes, you will and you’re not going to like how i do it.”
he stalked over to bucky.
“wait no NO.” she yelled, pulling desperately at the bonds on her hands and feet.
“just tell me what i want and i won’t.” his voice was impatient.
bucky looked over to y/n.
“don’t tell him. it’s okay doll. i’ll be okay.” he spoke quietly to her.
she shook her head with tears flooding into her eyes.
“please don’t look at me while this is happening.” bucky whispered, ashamed.
y/n nodded as the tears cascaded out of her eyes. she turned forward.
she heard bucky begin to grunt in discomfort and the sounds of his struggle.
“you are the one that tells me when to stop agent y/l/n. you speak up, his life is spared.” the HYDRA agent said.
she heard bucky begin to scream in pain, making the tears only fall out of her eyes faster. y/n racked her brain for an escape out of this chair. her eyes widened.
the knife in her sleeve.
since the HYDRA agents were so preoccupied with terrorizing bucky. she had some time to try and get out of the chair she was in.
she carefully shimmied the small pocket knife into her hand and began sawing at the ropes that tied her hands together. she sawed faster and faster, hearing bucky’s deafening screams of agony.
she felt the rope drop from her wrists. she kept her hands behind her back to keep up the illusion that she was tied. she glanced at bucky and saw the blood and tears around him.
she quickly came up with a plan in her head.
“times up hun.”
a gun was held to bucky’s temple.
“NO PLEASE. TAKE ME INSTEAD.” she shouted.
“no y/n no.” bucky said faintly, but sternly.
she heard the clicking of boots coming her way.
“are you sure about this?”
“oh i’m sure.” she said staring straight into his eyes.
as he raised up the gun, she used her free hands to guide the HYDRA base leader’s head straight into her knee. the gun went off, but the bullet only hit the concrete floor
y/n used all the strength she could conjure to jump up. her body weight crushed the cheap wooden chair into pieces. all the attention of the HYDRA agents was now on her. she grabbed the chair legs that her legs were tied to. a guard rushed toward her and she hit him in the head with the chair leg.
“SHIT.” she exclaimed clutching her shoulder where a shot from one of the guard’s gun just hit.
“oh you just made a bad choice.” she mumbled to herself.
y/n rushed towards the remaining guards standing by the door. she knocked one of the guard’s guns out of their hand with the chair leg and began to shoot and hit the HYDRA agents until they were all on the floor.
just as she was about to turn around to grab bucky, a gunshot made her fall to the ground. y/n put her hand on the wound on her lower abdomen. she took it off to see her whole hand drenched with scarlet colored blood.
“you are brave, but it didn’t pay off, did it?” the boss man said, “look at you lay on the floor. bleeding everywhere. i give you credit. you are a fighter.”
“we’re not done.” y/n breathed out.
the HYDRA base leader limped over to her.
“you are crawling towards death. i’m going to finish it and make your little lover boy watch.”
he put his gun above her face. with every amount of strength left, y/n kicked her leg up and knocked the gun out of his hand. she got up and shoved the gun into his stomach.
“don’t you ever touch him again. have fun in hell.”
“hail HYDRA.”
“shut the hell up.”
shot after shot rang out until the mag was out. y/n let go of his body and it dropped to the floor.
“cut off one head, two more shall grow in its place, my ass. i don’t see two more of you running in here to save your ass.” y/n mumbled mockingly to herself.
she limped over to bucky and struggled to untie his arms.
“y/n?” bucky muttered.
“yeah buck. it’s me. what’s up?”
he grabbed her chin and turned her head to face him.
“thank you doll.”
just as y/n was about to answer, bucky’s lips were on her’s. the kiss was rough and desperate. it was a kiss to show appreciation of his life that she just saved by jeopardizing her own.
y/n looked into his eyes. the ones that she had truly loved so many months ago, but not even being a lethal agent of so much versatility can save you from the fear of rejection. and it would’ve hurt a lot coming from bucky.
“don’t you ever do that again, you hear me? you could’ve died y/n.”
“well you would’ve lived. i’d do this a thousand times to see you live bucky. you deserve a second chance.”
bucky blushed and shook his head.
“i love you y/n and i’ve been terrified to say that and it’s probably not the best time considering we are both bleeding out but-“
“i love you too buck, but we need to leave or one of us isn’t gonna make it back home.” y/n signaled to the two gunshot wounds she had and the deep cuts that were littered across bucky’s body.
“i’ll make you your ma’s cookies when we get back.” y/n suggested.
“ooo cookies!” bucky exclaimed like a little kid.
y/n helped bucky up and they left. they left that HYDRA base holding each other up. just like they had been doing for so long.
and just like they would be doing for so much longer.
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walmart-pikachu · 3 years
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An Introduction To: Kioko Aizawa
Hello!
I guess this is my first post on Tumblr. Exciting! This is a series in which I will introduce some of my original characters, and allow you to get to know them just a little bit. First up, we have possibly my oldest (the length of time I’ve had him; not age-wise) original character, Kioko Aizawa!
Kioko is a small, fiery and slightly sassy Japanese-Korean man, who has naturally dark brown hair (though he likes to dye it often), and heterochromatic eyes - the left of which is a shade of brown, whilst the right is a shade of sky blue (Kioko has a condition called heterochromia iridum, where both of his eyes are two different colours. Find out more about the condition here!). He has a height of only 5′4, and has a lithe, somewhat feminine frame. Kioko works professionally as a burlesque dancer for a gay club called Asmodeus (and yes, if it wasn’t already obvious enough, Kioko is gay) and has been doing so since the age of nineteen.
His current age is placed at around 23, though this is subject to change, because a good friend and I are in the process of making a relationship we had in a roleplay between Kioko and one of their characters, Shiba, canon (oh, and do go and check out their page here, they’re amazing!).
As for personality, Kioko (as previously stated) is a firecracker. Despite his small stature and pretty features, he is a man that can stand up for himself in any situation. He is definitely what some would call a brat (ESPECIALLY when it comes to NSFW situations), and has a sharp tongue. He is extremely intelligent, having achieved a Bsc Hons (Bachelor of Science Honours) degree in Psychology. Kioko, although temperamental and vehement, is far from impertinent - in fact, he holds a great respect for the people around him, unless they have done anything to wrong him or someone he loves in the past.
His unpredictable personality relates to the way the male has grown up - born to single mother in rural Japan, Kioko never knew his father. According to his mother, his own father had left before Kioko was born, due to both fear and refusal of being a father. However, this fact doesn’t affect him much past the implication of having mild “daddy issues”, because from what his mother has told him, his father was not a very agreeable man. He was bullied throughout his school life due to a number of factors, though the main ones included his lack of a father figure, his height, and his eyes - the latter two being features he is still somewhat self-conscious about. Kioko’s entire past won’t be revealed here - that will be done in any further stories including him. But, please feel free to DM any questions you have about him in the meantime!
Finally, I’d like to show you what he looks like! His official face claim is San from the K-Pop group ATEEZ, who also doubles up as Kioko’s voice claim. Here he is!
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Anyhow, that’s it for Kioko’s introduction! I hope you like him!
Thanks for reading!
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skybird13 · 4 years
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Ace Ops Theories
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Okay ya’ll, so I need to take a very small break from Tumblr (tomorrow and maybe Thursday or even through Friday) because I am starting to develop a hyper fixation and that is just... not healthy. But as a temporary sign-off, I thought I would offer my thoughts on the whole Five Ace Ops thing floating around and how that might work out. I’ll be coming at this mostly from the perspective of a writer/storyteller using the threads we already have to speculate on where the Ace Ops could conceivably go.
[Slight spoilers for vol 7 episode 9 ahead]
The Traitor Theories
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As far as the traitor theories go (regarding any of the Ops) I just don’t see it happening this late in the volume. At the beginning of the volume and with the proper set-up, I could totally see where people were coming from, but at this point, I’d give it a less than 1% chance of happening (I won’t go all the way to 0% because I’m not CRWBY but... if pressed, I’d put it down at a 0.0001% chance). Not a single one of these people has been set up to be a traitor. There has been no foreshadowing, no hints, nothing nefarious brewing under the surface or in the background where the Ace Ops are concerned. At this point, exposing any of them as an agent of Salem would come out of left-field narratively speaking. 
Closely linked to this point is the fact that there is no mystery around how Tyrian and Arthur have been accomplishing their goals in this volume. If you’re going to have a surprise traitor amidst the protagonists, that mystery really needs to be there with the antagonists. But we never had to wonder how Arthur got his access to the Mantle systems; he wrote the code for it. And once Jacques handed over his elevated system credentials in exchange for Arthur rigging the election, Arthur had all he needed to do everything he has done to this point.
The only other active antagonists are Cinder and Neo and we already know how they got their information: Neo’s infiltration. That alone gave them more than enough intel to wreak all kinds of havoc. Neo is going to go after Ruby and, thanks to Neo’s spying in Schnee manor, Cinder knows that what she needs is at Atlas Academy. They also just showed up on the scene and would be very unlikely to have cultivated a traitor contact already. We have received no indication whatsoever that anyone on Team Salem is aware of the Winter Maiden being housed at Atlas Academy. If that was a piece of intel they had, I might be convinced to bump up my traitor theory score to 3%, but even that by itself wouldn’t be enough. 
Likelihood of a Traitor Amongst Them: 0.0001%
One of Them Will Die
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A possible Ace Ops death is the other dominating theory for how their team will be cut down to four members. I don’t have a whole lot of evidence against this theory, but I also don’t see much in the story that would support it either.
RWBY has a track record for character deaths that have an impact. Pyrrha is the obvious example of this, and even Lionheart’s death had some power to it. Here was a trusted member of Team Oz who had given in to fear and turned on everything he once stood for, and the truly tragic thing about his death was that he died a coward.
There are exceptions, of course. Sienna Khan comes to mind as a character who was introduced only to die. I will admit, I wasn’t the biggest fan of this decision. I know that the whole point of it was to push Adam’s story forward but considering nothing more ever really happened with that plot thread (Adam taking over as leader of the White Fang) there are a number of other ways they could have gone about that. Sienna denouncing and exiling him from the White Fang probably would have pushed him towards the same end.
But for the sake of argument, let’s say CRWBY was going to kill off one of the Ace Ops. 
Clover Ebi seems to take the brunt of this theory but I honestly don’t see this happening either. I am a huge Clover and FG fan, full disclosure, but from a purely narrative perspective, the implications of his character are just a little too big to go to waste. He’s the only other one in the RWBY-verse with a luck-based Semblance, and since he’s been paired with Qrow all volume, he is clearly going to play a massive role in Qrow’s continuing development. I know Qrow has taken a backseat in this volume but his character arc is far from over. He’s sober, true, and that was a major step for him, but all that self-hate and baggage from his past isn’t going to go away just because he stops drinking. A huge part of his character and his attitude has always hinged on his Semblance and on how much he hates himself for it, and that is something he is going to have to deal with at some point. Clover is the only one who can probably help with that, especially since we’ve seen in-show evidence that he has much more control over his Semblance than Qrow does. Add to that the sheer effort CRWBY has put into developing a relationship between them, and Mr. Clover Ebi is not going to be the one to die. 
I think the most likely death candidate is Harriet. True, she hasn’t had a whole lot of development that would make for significant emotional impact, but consider where she is in episode 9: she’s the only one accompanying Ruby  (who has a giant ass target on her back that she’s not even aware of) down into Mantle. They are most definitely alone and, judging from the time between the group jump from the airship and when Ruby and Harriet finally bail, they’re not going to be close enough for team backup when Neo comes. 
However... I still don’t buy this one. Neo is good. Excellent, even. But taking on a fully trained huntress and Ruby, who has only gotten more skilled since their last encounter, wouldn’t be the smartest move on her part, and Neo is nothing if not smart. I think it’s far more likely she’s going to create an illusion to draw Ruby away from Harriet, isolate her, and try to take care of her that way.
I sort of talked myself out of a higher rating for this possibility while writing that, but I’ll still concede that it’s not out of the realm out of possibility.
Likelihood of Ace Ops Character Death: 33%
[[Bonus: Likelihood of Clover death: -111985878% Because... just no. It’s not even wishful thinking on my part. My writer’s soul will literally disintegrate if they waste his potential.]]
Clover Leaves the Ace Ops/Is Assigned to Accompany the Teams When They Leave Atlas
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Yeah, so... not gonna lie, I am extremely partial to this theory and I think it’s becoming more and more likely as the story progresses.
The most obvious reasons that this would work are the ones I already mentioned: he has been very closely tied with Qrow all volume, and very special and careful attention has been paid to crafting every moment they have had together. You don’t generally do that unless two characters are going to be very, very significant to one another. He’s the only one who might be able to help Qrow figure out how to control his Semblance, therefore catalyzing the next sensible major step in Qrow’s character progression. The speed with which CRWBY hauled ass to tie him to Qrow also can’t be overlooked or overstated. They are not going to go through the effort of giving them scenes together and establishing chemistry between them only for it to fizzle out.
Clover is also the only member of the Ace Ops without a complementary partner inside the team structure. And guess what? Because of the nature of his Semblance, he isn’t going to find that partner in anyone but Qrow, and I can guarantee you Qrow will not be remaining in Atlas unless something drastic happens. He’s not letting his kids do this shit on their own.
But even outside of the purview of Fair Game and Clover’s relationship with Qrow, there are still logical reasons for why James might end up sending him or giving him the choice to go with the teams when they leave Atlas. 
Episode 9 was a huge obstacle tackled for James. He not only loosened the death grip he had on everything, but he also learned the truth about Salem and took it in stride (still so proud of him!). In order to continue his theme of learning to let things go a little, it is completely plausible that he would send one of his people to be with the teams to help them along. It won’t be Winter because she has too many established ties to Atlas, especially if she becomes the winter maiden. Same goes for Penny: too many deep ties to Atlas and she’s still the official Protector of Mantle. The only one that makes sense is Clover.
Then you also have the fact that Clover is the elite of the elite in Atlas, and therefore highly skilled. I just don’t see James sending the teams off into the world to find the other maiden and reach Vacuo without some assistance. James himself is going to stay in Atlas because that’s his place, but he can certainly send someone he trusts completely to help them out. Again, Clover is the one who makes the most sense for this. Not because Clover is the only one James trusts that much obviously, but because he has been narratively set up for it.
There is also the slightest hint of foreshadowing to this outcome in episode 3 when Clover catches the Dust and says “What would you guys do without me?” I don’t think he’d go without some initial hesitation, but I think his team would ultimately be supportive of the decision. 
So how high do I put this on the scale?
Likelihood That Clover Leaves with the Teams: 90%
Yes. That high.
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cherry-valentine · 3 years
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Winter 2021 Anime Season:
What I’m watching:
Log Horizon season 3 is all about the politics. Of all the “trapped in a video game” anime I’ve seen, Log Horizon has always been unique in the way it focuses not on the drama and action (although there is some of that), but on the world building of the “game” the characters find themselves stuck in. It’s less a game and more an entirely new world, one that the players, called “Adventurers,” are keenly aware of their influence on. The show focuses much more on the politics, economics, history, etc. of this world than it does on battles or romance. This sets it apart from things like Sword Art Online and the .hack franchise. Season 3 so far seems to be focusing on how the hub town of Akiba will be governed, with an actual election taking place. The Adventurers have to form good business relationships with the “People of the Land” (NPC’s, who in this world have their own personalities and lives and are just as developed as the players). The series goes into things like power systems, food supply, the politics of arranged marriages, and so many other things that make this world so interesting. Because of this, I’ve seen people calling the show boring or slow. I can understand how it could be seen that way, but I honestly find it fascinating. When the show does focus on action, it really nails it. So far season 3 has had pretty much zero action, but I’m guessing we’ll get some in the later part of the season. The animation is nice, with tons of characters sporting various designs. The music is great too. While I do miss the “Database” opening theme from season 1 and 2, this new one is pretty good. Watch Log Horizon if you’re into fantasy world-building. Avoid if you think a few episodes without a fight makes a series boring.
Beastars season 2 is a delight. I didn’t watch the first season as it aired, so I quickly caught up on Netflix before season 2 started, and I’m so glad I did. The show is definitely something I didn’t think I would enjoy, but everyone seemed to agree it was fantastic, so I gave it a shot. I intended to watch the first episode one evening to see what it was like and ended up watching the first eight in practically one sitting. For those unaware, Beastars is about a society of vaguely human-like animals (almost all of them walk upright on two legs and wear clothes, for example) and the conflicts between the carnivores and the herbivores (many of whom live in constant fear of being eaten, even though eating meat is illegal). The core of the story is about a wolf, Legoshi, falling in love with a rabbit, Haru, and all the complications that arise from that. Apparently, inter-species relationships are allowed, but frowned upon (I guess? It’s never explicitly stated either way). What makes this relationship interesting is the fact that the wolf is shy and awkward (and just generally a sweet guy) while the rabbit is more experienced and worldly. Something that struck me as interesting is that the rabbit Haru is sexually active, and has been with several different male characters. While the other characters, naturally, have things to say about this (calling her a “slut” or a “bitch” - the main setting is a high school after all), the story itself doesn’t condemn her for it. In fact, the story presents her in a positive light, sexual history included. The fact that she sleeps around is never portrayed as a negative aspect of her character, and Legoshi is very much aware of her activities. It’s a surprisingly sex positive take. Of course, this positivity doesn’t extend to the audience. Avoid comments sections on episodes of this show unless you want to see some rampant slut shaming.
I ended up talking mostly about season 1, but I didn’t get to do a write-up about it so there’s that. Season 2 is so far very good, dealing with a plot thread that had been left dangling in season one: an herbivore student was murdered and eaten in the first episode, and the mystery of who the killer is was pretty much dropped in favor of character development and world building. But season 2 is addressing that mystery in earnest, and it’s been exciting to watch Legoshi pursue the case. Overall, it’s an engaging show that I regret sleeping on until now. The opening and ending themes are real bangers and the animation looks great.
Dr. Stone Season 2 was easily my most anticipated series this season. It was my favorite show during it’s first season and is my favorite overall this season as well. The show is just so fun. The very quick and basic plot setup is that humanity was turned to stone in the modern age and, thousands of years later, the earth has been retaken by nature. A teenaged scientific genius named Senku breaks free of his stone shell and decides to save everyone and bring science and technology back to the world. In conflict with him is Tsukasa, a physical powerhouse who wants to destroy all the stone adults and create a utopia for the youth. Season 2 leaps right into the war with Tsukasa’s army, with Senku and his allies actually building a primitive cell phone to communicate over wide distances. The charm of this series has always been in its mixture of science facts and methods (all based on real-world science and theoretically possible) and dramatic action between well developed characters, both presented in equally exciting lights. It’s just as much fun watching Senku and his friends gather materials to make a vehicle as it is watching the various skillful warriors battling it out. The art style is something often commented on, as the character designs take a little getting used to, but the animation itself is very nice. As per usual, it has amazing opening and ending themes, with my favorite opening of the season.
The Promised Neverland Season 2 is a bit of a mess. I don’t follow the manga, but I enjoyed the first season of the anime very much and, just by virtue of being on Tumblr and being aware of the series, I ended up hearing about some major plot points from the manga that had me excited. So season two started and the first few episodes were great. But then things started seeming rushed, or just not quite right. A glance at the comments on the episodes revealed that entire story arcs had been skipped, and it really shows even to someone like me who hasn’t read the manga. And one major event I had seen so many images of from the manga is clearly being done in a completely different way in the anime (one that lessens the scene’s impact quite a lot). So... I’m not sure how to feel about this series. It was one of my most anticipated shows this season, but now it’s dropped down toward the bottom, and that’s disappointing. I guess I’ll finish this out and then consider picking up the manga, since apparently this is so different it won’t be spoiling much.
World Trigger Season 2 was a bit of a surprise. I only found out about it a few days before it began airing, and I honestly hesitated when deciding whether or not to watch it. When the first season aired, I loved it. I was sure it would be a new favorite. But then the filler arcs started, and they were almost unbearably boring. I dropped the series and always wondered if the show went back to its former greatness. So when season 2 started, I wondered if this was more filler, or if the filler arcs had ended in season 1 and I’d missed out on some content that I’d need to watch to understand season 2. Plus, my memory of season 1 wasn’t so great. With these thoughts in mind, I decided to watch the first few episodes of season 2 and see if I could make sense of it. Luckily, all of my concerns flew out the window pretty quickly. By the end of the first episode, I was enjoy it so much that I didn’t care about any of the things I’d been worried about. Sure, I might not have remembered all the names or all the details, but the important stuff was coming back to me.
The thing World Trigger does best is juggling tons and tons of characters. I know a lot of anime have large casts, but few of them have so many characters active in a single story arc, and even fewer of them handle those characters so well. Even though it’s been a few years since I watched season 1, and there were dozens of characters popping up in the first few episodes alone, I remembered most of them as I saw them. This is because all of them are memorable, well-designed, and interesting. I think it says a lot about the cast that, in the first several episodes, the three main protagonists are completely left out of the action, and we only get a brief glimpse of them. And this did absolutely nothing to hinder my enjoyment of the show. The supporting characters are so strong (both in-series and in terms of the writing) that the protagonists were not even missed. And I’m not dunking on the protagonists here. They’re great, fun characters. Aside from all this, the show has simple yet attractive art with a ton of variety in the design work. The music is nice, with one of the better opening themes of the season. The action is well choreographed and it’s just a fun series overall.
Sk8 is one of only two totally new series I’m following this season, and it’s a blast. Following a handful of eccentric skate boarders who engage in one-on-one races, the show is equal parts funny and exciting. The main focus is on two skaters, the energetic Reki and the Canadian snow boarder Langa, whom Reki is introducing to the world of skate boarding. The first thing you’re likely to notice about this series is just how colorful it is. It’s like the show itself is in love with color. It makes the art very striking and pleasing to look at. Honestly, it’s worth watching for the eye candy alone. Luckily, the series has other things going for it as well. The budding friendship between Reki and Langa is humorous and sweet, with very little of the usual “rivals who act like they hate each other but are actually friends” shenanigans we see so often in anime. They’re just two nice boys who are nice to each other, and that’s refreshing. Another high point is the gloriously flamboyant villain, Adam. He’s a real treat whenever he’s on screen. The show has an overall light-hearted feel, with enough emotional moments to keep it from becoming too silly. I don’t know much about skate boarding, but this anime makes it look awesome.
Kemono Jihen is the only other new series I’m watching this season. It primarily focuses on a small group of mythical creatures (or half-human/half-mythical) living in Tokyo, operating a detective agency for cases involving creatures like them. The protagonist is Kabane, a young boy who is half human, half ghoul. He’s apparently immortal, to the point that severing his head doesn’t even seem to cause pain. Due to being neglected and mistreated by his adoptive human family, he lacks social skills, but his earnest attempts to make friends and help his companions make him an endearing character. While this type of “urban fantasy” story isn’t new, it’s executed rather well. The characters and their abilities are varied and interesting, the art is competent, and the music fits. There’s a bit of a gross-out factor, with at least two cases involving insects, so be aware. It’s not my favorite show this season, mainly because it doesn’t seem to bring any new ideas to the table, but it’s entertaining enough to keep a spot on my watch list despite me being absolutely brutal when trimming that list down this season. Worth watching, for sure.
Carry Over Shows From Previous Seasons:
Black Clover
Jujutsu Kaisen
Best of Season:
Best New Show: Sk8
Best Opening Theme: Dr. Stone Season 2
Best Ending Theme: Sk8
Best New Male Character: Langa (Sk8)
Best New Female Character: Kon (Kemono Jihen)
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Rapunzel and the Lost Lagoon
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As soon as I heard about this book, I put it on my birthday wishlist. But alas, my birthday had come and gone. No Lost Lagoon. Apparently my mom didn’t see it on the wishlist, so that’s why. Flash forward to Christmas Day and I held the book in my hands, which were trembling with excitement. Not really, but you get the idea. I had been waiting to devour this book for months on end and I did. So without further ado, I will present to you this handy-dandy post that encapsulates my thoughts on Lost Lagoon before, during, and after reading. I thought it would be fun to record my expectations and compare them to what I discovered. If you’ve read Lost Lagoon, what did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts! ❤️
Before Reading
honestly, I’m not quite sure what to expect. All I know is that there’s a lot of moments between Raps and Cass and I am ready for them!
maybe it explains how Cass came to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting? (I hope so because I’ve always wondered this...)
I think I’ll like the book as a whole (I’m hoping I’ll love it)
I’m guessing that it is cute, funny, serious, and adventurous all in one
maybe we’ll learn more about Cass?
will Raps tell Cass about her life in the tower?
what will be the ratio of lighthearted to serious moments? Am I more likely to laugh or cry? Probably both 😅😂😂
this book’s design is absolutely gorgeous! 😍😍😍 I literally just stared at it for a while beginning to read it
During Reading
Rapunzel’s hair hasn’t grown back yet? Oh, it’s her first week in Corona. Okay...
“Something was missing. I was hoping painting would help me find whatever that was, or at least help me end the afternoon on a happy note.” (is this relatable or what? I know not to chase after the elusive beast referred to as happiness, but I do often strive to end the day on a good note because I feel like Satan wins if I don’t)
Friedborg is Arianna’s lady-in-waiting? That makes more sense now. I always feel bad not knowing much about her or her background. I hope she makes some appearances in the book (no sooner did I type this than I look down and skim the scene where she teaches Raps how to sit. Crazy, right?)
Eugene referring to Rapunzel as “my girl” (so sweet 🥰)
“Eugene’s warm brown eyes and mischievous smile are irresistible from any angle” (she’s head over heels, ya’ll 😂💕😂)
first look at Cass 🥰 That’s my girl! Not only does she want to be part of the guard, but she wants to succeed her father as Captain! Go after your dreams, girl! I support you ❤️
“I’d rather shovel sheep dung than mend clothes and gossip.” Mood 😂😂
she recently discovered a hidden spot by using maps of an ancient underground tunnel system? How cool!
okay, but Cass’ animosity towards Raps is fair. And the fact that she refers to her as “that girl”? Priceless
names of nearby nations? Like, yes please!
the irony of Cass piquing Raps’ interest in her by leaving as soon as she can after throwing the shot put 😅😂😂
Cass worrying she got herself in trouble by practicing shot put. Poor thing!
the angst Cass feels towards her dad because he wants her to be a lady-in-waiting when she clearly doesn’t... so relatable (it’s tough when a parent’s expectations and our own dreams/desires don’t match)
I didn’t realize Cass created the maps herself! She’s so determined to prove herself to her dad, it hurts 😭😭
I wonder if the pools in Yultadore are what make up the lost lagoon...
“Her enthusiasm was so shiny and bright I had to squint” (I totally understand this)
pretty boy Eugene and his quips 😂😂
Cass trying to keep her distance from Raps by calling her “Princess” and firmly saying “Goodbye” before shutting and locking the door behind her
So that’s how Cass and Eugene met... okay, cool. Nothing too crazy or weird. I don’t know what I expected but it’s nice to know how their battle of wits began
I’m noticing a pattern in the words used to describe Cass: knowledgeable, brave, etc. I think that’s cool because I feel like her pessimism gets a lot more attention in the series. It’s nice to acknowledge her other qualities as well.
Arianna chose Cass to be Raps’ lady-in-waiting. I always wondered how she got the position. I’m loving how many little things this book is explaining 🥰
Also, just noticed the bird illustrations on the page of every new chapter. I wonder if there’s a pattern...
OWL!!! 😍😍 he literally “senses her distress”. I wish we got to hear about how they met
I wanted to cry for Cass. Poor thing just wants to follow her dreams. I like the way the finality of the decision was described. It’s so tragic 💔
“When Cassandra saw him [Eugene], her face clouded over like a stormy afternoon” 😂😂 I love how Cass doesn’t try to hide her feelings about people. It’s true that she keeps personal things close to her chest, but not when it comes to what she thinks of others. Honesty is the best policy, right?
I love how Cass continuously prompts Raps to keep reading the poem. She’s like, “Yeah, yeah, just get to the good stuff” 😂
about that poem... maybe it’s from Herz Der Sonne’s perspective. Could the “truth sealed in precious stones” be a reference to Zhan Tiri’s disciples and how they were trapped within stones? And what about the three gems? What’s the emerald tapestry supposed to be? Does it reference Saporia? I HAVE TOO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS
“A few times I thought I heard some rustling behind me, but I kept going” (me: yeah, Raps is definitely following her) 😂
me when I realize the “emerald tapestry” is grass: 🙃
why is Cass so fearful around water? Did someone try to drown her? someone please tell me who is responsible so I can PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE 😅🤣
painfully ironic how Rapunzel can swim despite being locked in a tower all her life and Cass can’t
Raps nonchalantly offering to teach Cass how to swim just warms my heart 🥰❤️
okay, so Cass is responsible for her fear of water. That’s almost worse because it invites shame and self-hatred, which makes it more difficult to push against that fear or overcome it 😔
the importance of Raps agreeing to help Cass even after realizing she doesn’t want to be her lady-in-waiting is HUGE. This is something I feel like should have happened throughout Season 1 but never did (Raps supporting Cass and trusting that she has a good reason for things even if she doesn’t understand)
“But now I have to teach you which fork to eat your waffles with and stuff” 😂
the first time they call each other Cass and Raps 🥰😍🥰😍
woah, I didn’t expect there to be a time jump. I should have known because I kept wondering why they would depict Rapunzel with her blonde hair on the cover if this takes place before it comes back. Anyways...
I forgot to take notes as I read the majority of part 2. I’m currently a chapter or two away from part 3 and all I have to say is that something bad is about to happen. I can feel it. Dahlia’s definitely shady and so is Marco. I suspected Marie earlier but now I’m not sure. She wasn’t obvious until she was but now she’s not again so maybe she is guilty after all? Either way, Raps is making dumb decisions and I’m over here yelling at her to get her life together before she gets killed or kidnapped (whichever comes first, I guess) 😅🙃
Cass is absolutely roasting Rapunzel and I am here for it! Don’t mind me just munching away on my popcorn over here 🍿
Cass said she’s finally gonna leave Corona so I bet Raps will fess up and tell her that Dahlia’s been helping her with the painting for Cass so Cass will let her guard down and think Dahlia’s okay after all. But... she won’t be and they’re gonna realize she was the bad guy after all 😎
didn’t think Cass would get attacked 😅 also, the fact that she is highly skilled and powerful yet trips and twists her ankle is such a mood. Like, that’s literally me in a nutshell. She is beauty, she is grace, and she falls flat on her face 🤣🤣 while I’m here, I’m guessing Marco is her attacker because he probably has a rough voice
Okay, so I guess Dahlia really is innocent then... idk, I still think she could be up to something
I WAS RIGHT!
Marco’s the bad guy and things just escalated quickly cause now he’s got a knife against Cass’ throat 😳😬😵
so Dahlia’s innocent after all... I thought she or Marie might be working with Marco but I guess not (kinda disappointed to be honest)
okay so this Dahlia chick is exasperatingly hilarious 😂😂 she legit took part of Raps’ bookcase to use for an art piece. Like, who does that?
“Pascal shook his head, totally fed up” me too bud, me too 🤣
After Reading
so I did get to see how Cass and Raps first met (also how she first met Eugene as well)
I like how they combined their talents and passions at the end to create the map painting
There were a bunch of lines that made me laugh, although there were just as many that hit me like a knife to the chest (pretty much anything angsty from Cass’ POV) so I like how it made me feel all the feels (I felt like an investigator trying to figure out who the bad guy was and that was a blast 😆)
overall it was pretty good. I did feel like the characters were off (Arianna seemed like she swapped personalities with Frederick at times and Eugene apologized for joking Cass- as if!), but other than that I enjoyed it. There were a bunch of new characters being introduced so it was somewhat hard to tell who was bad and who wasn’t but I guessed correctly in the end. I was hoping there would be more than one bad guy but oh well.
I’m glad I read it because now I know a few extra things about Corona and its surrounding countries (plus I can finally read through all the Lost Lagoon related tumblr posts I saved for later... I was waiting until I read the book and here I am!)
If anyone needs me, I’ll be going through LL tumblr posts. I should definitely be sleeping but that’s not important 😅😂😂
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Laughter, Love, and Other Products of a Quarantine
Yay, I’ve gotten around to actually posting it on here! I’m so lazy and I can never figure out how to get the italics to transfer because I copy from google docs so I copied it from there to word and then copied it again and pasted it here but THEN it kept all the weird indents that look icky on Tumblr so if anyone knows how to get rid of all these annoying issues I’d really love to know
I’m absolutely interested in taking prompts if anyone has something Captain Swan they’d like to see...as I’m sure you could guess, I definitely have the time. For those of you reading Even If It’s A Lie (first of all, thank you, I love you), I’m hoping to update that soon too. If you haven’t read it but you’re interested, here’s a link to that.
@coffeenotess​ made this lovely moodboard for my fic:
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summary: Emma Swan has been roommates with Liam Jones for years, but hates his brother. Okay, so she's met him once and it was a brief encounter, but still. But of course he's visiting for the week when the mandated quarantine happens. And of course Liam just happens to be out of town for the weekend when it does. 
word count: 8,716 (yes, it got a little out of hand)
rating: M, entirely because of language
also read it on: AO3 | FFN
Emma sighed at the knock on her door, pushing herself off the couch to open it. She knew who would be on the other side, and it made her blood boil to think about it.
“Swan!” The dark haired, broody, eyebrow wiggling man exclaimed as soon as the door was open.
“Jones,” she managed to grunt, turning to find her place on her comfy couch for her current Netflix binge. She so desperately wanted to ignore him for the entirety of his stay at her apartment.
 “Liam is so lucky to have such a charming roommate, love,”
“His bedroom is the second door on the left,” she said instead of making a snarky comment about his usage of the nickname ‘love.’
She really didn’t have any reason to truly hate him. In fact, she’d only met Liam’s brother once before, but there was just something about him that rubbed her the wrong way. Maybe it was the smirking, or the innuendos. Either way, she wasn’t exactly thrilled when Liam offered him lodging while he was in town for work. And of course Liam just had to have a weekend trip planned for him and his girlfriend. Emma absolutely adored Elsa, she even introduced the two, but she mildly resented her friend for taking her roommate away and leaving her with Killian Fucking Jones.
He left her alone for an hour or so, probably unpacking and making himself comfortable, and of course she could not care less about what that man was doing. Except when he decided to interrupt her show.
“Would you like some tea, Swan?”
Okay, so it was a polite interruption but still. This was an important part in her show. “No thanks,” her voice quick and rather icy.
But then she felt rude, so she tried to make up for it with conversation—he was Liam’s brother, after all, and she didn’t want to cause any unnecessary friction between the brothers. So she reluctantly got up from the couch and moved to lean against the kitchen counter in an attempt to be mildly civil. “So um, I’m surprised your work still has you traveling, you know, with the pandemic and all,”
He chuckled lightly, and she was glad her snark hadn’t wounded him permanently. “Me too, but it’s all about the money, of course.”
She struggled to recall the conversations Liam and she had about Killian and his life. “What is it you do again?”  
 “I’m a strategy consultant for publishing companies along the east coast,” when she couldn’t stop the raising of her eyebrows, he laughed. “What, expecting something more befitting of a scoundrel such as I?”
She rolled her eyes at his drama. “Well, Liam said you enjoyed sailing, maybe I thought you were a pirate,”
“Alas, such a profession is frowned upon by societal norms. Plus, I wouldn’t get benefits with just a ship and a crew.” He took a tea bag from the jar of Liam’s favorite Irish breakfast tea. He paused, “Are you sure you don’t want any, Swan?” He was way too considerate for her liking, but she tried not to let it fuel her bubbling hatred. He would be with them for a little while, and she didn’t want it to be awkward.
 “I’m good, I promise. I will, however, make some hot chocolate.” She went straight for the cinnamon, extracting it from its place in the cupboard before grabbing the mix and her favorite mug. She’d just finished stirring her drink when she was interrupted by her phone ringing. “Hey, Liam,” she greeted.
“Emma, where are you right now?” His voice was a little panicked, a little hurried.
“I’m at home with your brother, why? What’s going on?”
“Turn on the news. Now.” She rushed to change from her Netflix show to the local news channel.
“Breaking news for the Boston area: we are going into a mandated lockdown. The lockdown begins at midnight tonight, so I hope you have stocked up on all your essentials. There will be limited officials who will be able to deliver supplies upon request, but unfortunately it looks like we will be stuck for at least two weeks. Stay tuned for the latest—”
Emma stopped listening, trying to figure out how the fuck she was this unlucky. One more day, and Liam would have been home. But no, of course he couldn’t be. Now she was trapped with his smirk-happy, younger, more annoying (and more attractive, though she wasn’t quite ready to admit that yet) brother.
“Emma?” she’d forgotten that she was on the phone.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m here. I just heard,” she was trying very hard to remain calm. “Are you sure we’re not just being pranked right now? Like maybe this is some new reality TV show thing that they’re trying out and they’re trying to convince everyone the world is ending,” she knew it was far-fetched and absolutely ridiculous at this point to hope it wasn’t real, but it was easier to process than her present situation.
“I really don’t think that’s it, Emma,” he replied, and the way he said her name reminded her that she needed to relax.
“You’re right,” she took a deep breath. “I’m fine, look, I’m gonna go figure out how we stand on supplies. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Call me anytime,” he replied, and she was struck by the fact that she had people now, but it was not the time for that brand of breakdown.
“Looks like we’re stuck together,” Killian joked once she was off the phone, but she could see that the smirk didn’t quite reach his eyes. There was a bit of fear behind them, and somehow it made her feel better.
Her panic was still fresh, and she needed to get away from that room and that man. “I’m gonna...go see how much toilet paper we have left,” and she left as fast as she could without actually running.
It wasn’t that she was worried about her health. She was fine, and David, Mary Margaret, Ruby, Liam, Elsa, Anna...her family was all in good health. A lot of the world would be okay, and a lot of the world would not be. But that part was surreal, far away. And also out of her control, which wasn’t exactly something that made her jump with joy. What she could control and worry about was her new roommate for the foreseeable future.
Killian was somehow simultaneously easy and hard to hate. Somehow. His tendency to flirt with anything that breathed and the fact that he could see right through her like he knew her...that made it easy to hate him. But she had also seen, not only in the last twenty minutes or so but also in Liam’s infinite stories of him, that he had that bad boy with a heart of gold thing that just so happened to be her fictional character ‘type.’
It didn’t help that her mind was at war. One side of her, the instinctual, foster kid side, told her to run. Avoid him like the plague. Ironic, really. She wanted to hide in her room for two weeks or a month or however long they’d be stuck in her now-too-small apartment.
But the other side, the side that came directly as a product of spending years in the company of her friends—no, her family—told her to open herself up to him, take advantage of the time she’d have with him and try to really get to know him, to see the man Liam had raved about for years.
Needless to say, Emma had a headache.
She spent ten minutes or so just pacing in her room, before deciding to actually check to see how much toilet paper she had in her personal bathroom. Once she’d calmed down enough, she returned to the kitchen, only to find Killian rifling through the pantry.
“What are you doing?” She hoped it didn’t sound like an accusation, but an innocent inquiry.
He didn’t seem fazed by it and simply replied, “I’m trying to determine how long we can survive without supplies,”
“And?” She’d succeeded this time in making her voice much more inquisitive than sharp.
He moved to face her, done with his assessment of the cabinet. “And, we have plenty of alcohol, a good amount of coffee as well as a few other beverages, and on the food front, I think we’ll be okay for about two weeks.”
“Good, good. I’m sure we’ll be able to get groceries before then,” she said, although there was no way she could be so certain.
 She cleared her throat anxiously, “Look, Jones, I think we should be friends.”
“Friends?” His stupid eyebrow was doing that thing again.
“Yes, friends. We’re stuck together, so we might as well make the most of it. I think if either of us would like to retain a single shred of sanity by the end of this, we have to get along.”
 “I wasn’t aware that we weren’t already friends, Swan,” his gaze made her stomach turn.
 “Oh really? You think I’m just this warm and bubbly to all my close pals?” She joked, then added, “Do you think we can just start over?”
 “Of course, love,”
 She held out her hand, and he took it. “I’m Emma Swan,”
“Killian Jones. It’s lovely to make your acquaintance, Swan,” he grinned.
 She rolled her eyes once more at his drama. “Now that that’s over with, what should we do now that we have all this time?”
“Well, I do have one idea…” his voice was so suggestive and seductive it should be a crime.
 “Woah, woah, woah,” she held up a hand as if she could force his train of thought to come to a stop.
 “Come now, Swan, I was going to suggest a movie. I don’t know where your mind went, but my idea was entirely innocent,” he assured her, although the teasing in his voice made her positive of what he’d intended her to think.
 “Ah, yes, a movie. Of course,” she nodded, crossing the room to take her place on the couch. He joined her tentatively, taking Liam’s usual seat on the other end of the sofa. “Any suggestions?” She asked, and he looked thoughtfully for a moment.
“I’m not sure, do you have a genre preference?”
Her lips ticked up a little, “Well, lately I’ve been on a rom-com marathon, but I’m not sure how much you’d enjoy that,”
He feigned offense, “I am always in the mood for a romantic comedy, Swan. I’m insulted that you would assume otherwise,”
She put her hands up as if in surrender. “Okay, okay, I shouldn’t have assumed. But do you have any ideas?”
“Well, what do you have?”
After showing him her extensive movie collection that she was extremely proud of, he selected one of her favorites and they settled in.
What shocked her more than the fact that Killian Jones enjoyed romantic comedies was that he also got rather worked up when the characters did something he didn’t agree with. Maybe it shouldn’t have surprised her very much, given his tendency for drama in his life, but it was still jarring to have him yell at Jude Law.
“Come on, mate,” he muttered, exasperated. When she looked at him curiously, he exclaimed, “Well, he’s just letting her go!”
But all was well, of course, because Cameron Diaz decided not to leave, and as always, everyone lived happily ever after.
Once the credits rolled across the screen, Emma excused herself to go to bed.
“Sleep well, Swan,” his voice was unusually soft.
“You too, Jones,” she called over her shoulder as she headed towards her room.
It was annoying how often he crept into her mind as she went through her nightly routine. He was a baffling man, and it was getting harder to hate him. Especially after seeing him call Jack Black ‘blind.’
“He’s been in love with her since he laid eyes on her, Swan,” he’d said.
She looked forward to seeing more rom-coms with him in the coming weeks, and that kind of freaked her out. She’d never say it out loud.
Emma woke to the smell of bacon, and it startled her. But as soon as she remembered the night before, one Killian Jones, Mr. Would You Like Any Tea, she really should have known. She didn’t mind in the least, as her usual breakfast was just toast or cereal, or if she was going out, a good bearclaw.
“Good morning, love,” he greeted, just as cheery as his brother at that time in the morning.
“Is it a Jones family requirement to be a morning person?” Emma was famously grumpy before 11 o’clock, even more so if she didn’t have a warm beverage in her hand.
He just laughed, and placed a mug of something in her hand. When she stared at him questioningly, he told her, “some hot chocolate, Swan.” With an eye roll, he turned to flip a pancake.
She took a sip carefully, mostly because her brain was still trying to figure out what the hell was going on. She looked down at the drink she was holding. “This has cinnamon in it,”
“Aye, that’s how you like it, isn’t it?” Although he faced the stovetop, she knew that his eyebrow would be raised.
“Uh, yeah, I’m just trying to figure out how you knew that,”
“You made some for yourself last night, Swan. Remember?” He told her, as if it were the most obvious thing.
“Oh yeah,” she muttered. He noticed. And remembered.
At this point, to say that she hated Killian Jones would be an outright lie. This charming, annoying, thoughtful man was making her breakfast and he remembered how she liked a drink she made in front of him one time.
In fact, if she were a different person, she might even say that she liked him.
“It’s ready, Swan,” he said.
She watched him as he took two plates to an already set table. She would not let this freak her out, she promised herself. She knew how important it was that they both try to have fun and relax during this extremely confusing and anxiety-inducing time.
So instead of obeying that voice in her head that was yelling at her to run, Emma took a seat across from Killian at the table and smiled at him.
After breakfast, they brainstormed activities, then got to work. Although, it was much more like play.
Emma beat Killian at Wii bowling, but he kicked her butt at tennis.
“Oh, come on! How are you this good?” She cried after he scored on her yet again.
“I don’t know, love, I guess I’m just a very skilled man,” he told her with a wink.
They got a little too competitive once they started playing baseball, and they decided it was better to stop playing than to potentially cause permanent damage to any furniture.
“We could reorganize the kitchen,” Killian suggested.
“Are you kidding? That sounds terrible,” she grumbled.
He chuckled at her childish attitude. “It’ll be fun,”
She wasn’t sure how that worked, but somehow it did. They reorganized the pantry and all the cabinets before she started whining. “This is horrible,”
“Fine, Swan. What do you suggest we do?”
“I’ve been meaning to change the light bulbs in my bathroom for like six months,” she said.
He rolled his eyes. Maybe she should start counting. “Okay, and after those five minutes?”
“I’ll let you know when we get there,”
It did take five minutes, but then she decided to find a new mop on Amazon for the one she’d been thinking about replacing for a year. Killian very harshly judged her shopping methods, claiming that she shouldn’t buy it unless she is able see it and touch it herself, but she reminded him that they couldn’t exactly go out.
They ended up going back to the Wii, this time playing Wii Sports Resort. He complained that basketball was a stupid game when she won, and then proceeded to kick her ass at swordplay.
“Swordplay? Really?”
“Come on, Swan, you yourself called me a pirate,” he teased.
She shook her head, “I did not, I only said I thought you might be a pirate.”
“Same thing,”
She sighed, “do you think it’s lunchtime yet?”
He looked at his watch, groaning. “It’s only been an hour and a half,”
“What?” She almost screamed. “How is this even possible? I thought it had been like four,”
“Unfortunately not,” he sighed. “But don’t lose heart, Swan. I’m sure there’s lots more we can do,” he said, and thought for a moment. “Do you have any board games?”
“Oh hell yeah,” she led him to their game closet, and he immediately went for Monopoly. “That’s a dangerous game, Jones,” she warned.
“I’m well aware, Swan.” He met her wild eyes, “And I do so love a challenge.”
“You’re on,”
They played for three hours, and they were quite equal opponents. Neither let the other hoard all the railroads, and they were good at snatching up the last of a color before the other could have a monopoly.
But then Killian landed on Park Place. He already had Boardwalk.
“No!” Emma cried, but of course he purchased it, and began piling on the houses.
It was a long time before Emma landed on either property, but she did. It didn’t damage her bank too much, but she knew she wouldn’t survive a second payment.
Sure, in a typical game, Park Place and Boardwalk weren’t really the smartest investments. They take up so little space on the board, it’s complete luck to have a player land on it. But because they were both so strategic throughout the earlier game, neither even held a monopoly until Killian got ahold of Park Place. And in a game of just two players, trading wasn’t going to happen.
She cringed when he added a hotel, and just hoped she wouldn’t have to find out what the rent on that one was.
A few turns later, she landed on Boardwalk. “Pay up, love,” he was absolutely beaming, and instead of handing over the cash, she just started throwing hotels at his head.
They called it off after that.
 “Tell you what, Swan, I’ll think about forgiving you if you help me make lunch,”
She considered it for a moment, but decided it was for the best. “Fine, just don’t make me do anything difficult.”
They just had grilled cheese and tomato soup (unfortunately there were no onion rings on hand), but it was the best damn grilled cheese she’d ever had. She hoped it had more to do with a secret ingredient Killian had somehow added when her back was turned, rather than the person who made it.
They decided to try to do some work, but it was short lived. Emma studied the information she had on her current skip for a little bit, but there was no further she could go without actually tracking the guy down.
Killian was also unable to get very much done, because as he discovered shortly after opening his computer, the company he was working with at the moment had temporarily shut down. He couldn’t exactly strategize without a company to work with.
“Well, that’s unfortunate,” he declared once they both realized there was no work to be done.
Emma just stared out the window for a few minutes, never before wanting to go out more than in that moment. Wordlessly, she got up, searching in a drawer beneath the TV.
“Ah ha!” She held up the treasure she’d just located.
“Fuck yes,” Killian jumped to turn the Wii back on.
She laughed at his enthusiasm. “Just to warn you, I am a pro at Mario Kart.”
“Of course you are, Swan,” he smirked.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re a very talented woman, love, and I’d never claim otherwise.”
“But?”
“But, that’s what you said about Monopoly. And we saw how that turned out...” She smacked him playfully on the arm at the reminder of her painful loss.
“No, no, no, Jones. I never said I was a pro. If I remember correctly, I only implied that I was good.”
“Fine. We’ll just have to see who the true champion is, won’t we?”
She was good; ‘pro’ wasn’t an easily-earned term for Emma. Killian couldn’t deny that she was extremely skilled. They played for an hour, and Killian had only won twice. He admitted defeat, which was a difficult thing for him to do.
She bowed at his recognition, secretly very proud of herself at beating him after not playing for like three years.
Emma left after a little while to take a shower, surprisingly sweaty after Mario Kart. She used her time under the hot water to release her tight muscles in her back and shoulders. She was sure they were a product of her tensing over the remote, absolutely determined not to let him win.
She tried not to let her mind drift to him as she attempted to relax, but that was proving more and more difficult as she spent time with him. It certainly didn’t help that she was pretty much only spending time with him. But that was inevitable.
She took her time brushing her hair out and getting dressed, trying not to let her newfound sense of calm to slip away.
She was just considering returning to the living room when a Skype call came through on her computer.
“Emma! How are you? Are you okay there by yourself?” Mary Margaret asked, the worried mom-friend as usual.
“I’m fine, I’m great. And I’m not alone, Liam’s brother is here, remember?”
She cringed at David’s sudden appearance next to Mary Margaret. “Oh yeah? And how’s that going?” David asked, a hint of something with an edge in his voice. Accusation? She wasn’t sure.
“It’s great. I promise,” she hoped her words would calm him. It’s a good thing he was married to the mom of the friend group, because he was definitely the dad. “We’ve mostly just been playing Wii. I just destroyed him in Mario Kart,” she told them proudly.
Mary Margaret laughed, and David added, “Attagirl,” as if she were actually his child. Ridiculous, but it made her smile.
They chatted for a little while, catching up on all the personal life things they’d been missing the last few days in an attempt to do some social distancing.
“But I guess the party’s canceled now. I hope this is all better by the Fourth of July, or I’m going to be very grumpy,” Mary Margaret nearly pouted, and it made Emma laugh.
“I’ll let the authorities know that it’s gotta be finished before then, okay?” Emma teased.
“Swan?” Killian called, knocking on her door. “May I come in?”
“Yeah, what’s up?” She asked as he cracked open the door, just his head peeking in.
“I was wondering what you’d like for dinner, but I can come back later, I can see you’re occupied.” He moved to close the door, but she stopped him.
“No, no, it’s fine.” She gestured for him to come in, and then angled her computer a bit to introduce them. “Guys, this is Killian, Liam’s brother. Jones, this is Mary Margaret and David. They like to think they’re my parents,” she grinned at their objections.
“It’s nice to meet you, Killian,” Mary Margaret said once she was done reprimanding Emma.
He shifted nervously, and he had this look on his face that she couldn’t quite read. “It’s lovely to make your acquaintance.”
He was the pinnacle of manners, and she should’ve seen it coming with the way Liam was.
“I heard that Emma kicked your ass in Mario Kart Wii,” David said, pride dripping from his voice. It made heat rush to her cheeks.
“Aye, that she did. It was a well earned victory,”
Once again, Emma was surprised at Killian’s words. Although it was more the tone that confused her, the hint of pride that matched David’s. It was rather unexpected.
Dinner was an interesting affair to say the least. Emma tried to help, really, but she wasn’t one for cooking. Luckily, he’d noticed that from her attempt at assistance when they’d made lunch earlier, so he was prepared.
“All you have to do is stir,” he told her.
“Are you sure?”
This made him laugh, and she caught herself watching as his eyes squinted and his head was thrown back in the movement. “I’m positive, Swan.”
Killian put together the most gourmet spaghetti and meatballs she’d ever seen, and it was fascinating to watch him flit around her kitchen, adding this and that, completely focused and in his element.
The stirring he’d tasked her with was a homemade sauce, which she thought was a little crazy, considering you could just buy some in a jar at the store. When she mentioned this, he shook his head.
“Sure, you can buy the premade sauce, but why do that when it’s so easy to make your own, plus, it’s so much better,”
She bit back a laugh at his passion for anything homemade. It was adorable.
She froze for a split second. The thought had just appeared in her head without warning. She returned to her mechanical stirring, but she remained in her head, trying to find the root of the thought. Did she really think he was adorable? She must have, or else the thought wouldn’t have been so instant. But really, you’d have to be blind to miss the attractiveness in his features, and claiming otherwise was what they called denial. Maybe it wasn’t such an important thought after all.
“It’s ready,” he informed her as he opened the fridge and pulled out an unopened bottle of red wine.
“Good thing we reorganized the kitchen earlier, or else you wouldn’t know where the corkscrew is,” she grinned.
“You’re so right, Swan. A wonderful idea on my part,”
They enjoyed their meal in a comfortable, companionable silence. It was kind of funny, how completely opposite their relationship was from just the night before. She’d dreaded his arrival for hours, and now she was starting to think that perhaps she was trapped with just the right person.
She was surprised she didn’t choke on her food when the thought popped into her head. She hoped maybe some conversation would distract her from her head.
“You’re a wonderful cook,” she commented.
“Thank you, love. I learnt the importance of a well cooked meal from my mother,” he told her, fondness in his voice.
Liam never really talked about their mom, but she knew she’d died when they were young. “That’s what Liam usually says,”
“Aye, he was lucky enough to learn a lot from her before she passed, and I was lucky enough to have him to teach me when I was older,” he said, his smile much softer than before.
“He’s a good brother,”
“Aye, too good to have to put up with my shit,” he agreed, but she could hear the hidden meaning in his words.
“You know, Liam’s spent the last five years or so talking you up. Always telling me how great you are, how proud he is of you...it got pretty annoying after the first few times,” she tried to make it casual enough that he wouldn’t be uncomfortable with her confession.
His eyes got slightly bluer somehow, and his smile turned into a smirk. “Well, how could he not boast about me?”
She decided that her mission was successful, and it eased a weight around her heart to see him accept this new information.
After a second glass of wine, she helped him clean up. He washed, she dried, that was the system, and a good one at that. They made quite the team.
They chose another rom-com from her collection, and once again Emma enjoyed Killian’s comments, although this time most of his anger was directed towards Justin Long. “Does he really think he’s not completely in love with her? That’s ridiculous,” he huffed.
She grinned, “I don’t know what to tell you, Jones. Men are blind, I guess,”
He shook his head. “Not all men are that blind, love, I promise.”
She tried not to think about his words as she climbed into bed. She was exhausted after all that competition and emotional energy. There were so many little things she’d picked up on over the course of the day, it was no wonder she was so good at her job.
She didn’t hate him, and probably never did. He was far too thoughtful to be real, too considerate. He read her like a goddamn book and she had no idea how to deal with it. She just hoped their understanding of each other would be to her advantage and not cause her harm.
Over the next few days, the two of them fell into somewhat of a routine. Killian would make breakfast, then they would goof off and play games until lunch. After that, they tried to do something productive, but as the days passed that got a bit harder, especially after they’d deep cleaned the whole house. On day four, they prepared what Emma called ‘niche powerpoint presentations.’ It was a good way to kill an hour or two, especially when Killian created a literal Ted Talk about why Peter Pan is actually the villain. It made Emma laugh so hard her stomach hurt.
After their productive time, they’d give each other some privacy for whatever they needed or wanted to do. Emma usually just showered and Skyped her friends, although one day she took a nap.
Then it was dinner, which Killian would make, and then Emma would help him clean up. They finished off their days with a rom-com that usually had Killian annoyed at this character or another. It was funny (and adorable) every time.
On day five, Liam and Elsa Skyped her, and Emma brought her computer out to sit on the coffee table so they could both talk.
“So Emma, how are you getting along with my little brother. Is he giving you a lot of trouble?” Liam chuckled.
“Younger. Younger brother,” Killian muttered, arms crossing his chest like a four-year-old.
“No, he’s been feeding me, so that’s good,”
“I was a bit worried you might starve with me gone for so long,” Liam teased.
Killian rolled his eyes. “You know I’m perfectly capable of cooking, Liam,”
“Oh of course, of course,” he agreed too quickly. Emma was no expert at sibling relationships, but she was pretty sure that he was implying he was the superior cook. He wasn’t, but she was afraid she was beginning to become biased, so she didn’t trust herself to say it.
“Emma, have you been talking to David and Mary Margaret much?” Elsa asked.
“We Skype just about every day. They’re so parent-y, still,”
“That’s definitely not a word, Swan. ‘Parent-y,’ really, that’s not even creative,” Killian shook his head in feigned disappointment.
“I’m sorry, but I momentarily blacked out and forgot the word parental. Are you happy?”
“Overjoyed.”
“At least I don’t have to worry about you two destroying the apartment,” Liam said.
“What are you implying?” Emma raised her eyebrows.
“I figured that by now you would’ve murdered him, Emma, but you’re more tolerant than I thought,” he said.
“I can’t say I haven’t considered it once or twice,” she ignored his call of ‘hey!’ and added, “but I would’ve been left with the mess, plus it would’ve just been me for two weeks and that doesn’t sound fun,”
“That’s understandable,” Liam nodded seriously.
“We’re so proud of you, Emma,”
They ended the call a little while later, and all was well until Elsa called her just after she’d gotten out of the shower.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“I just wanted to talk to you, uh, alone,” Elsa said.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“No, no, everything’s fine. Sorry, I realize how that sounded. No, I mean...you and Killian seem to be getting along really well,”
“Oh,” that made her pause. “What makes you say that?”
“I kind of thought you still hated him, but, well, you guys were very much flirting while we were on Skype, Emma,”
“Oh.”
She’d gotten so used to his company and their playful banter that she didn’t even realize what had been right in front of her. “Oh,” she repeated once it sunk in. “Well shit,”
“What are you going to do?”
“I have no idea. I’ll, um, I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Emma, are you sure—”
“Bye, Elsa,” she hung up before she could finish her sentence.
Over the course of the next few minutes, Emma’s brain became what she liked to refer to as a Shit Tornado. It was just...shit. Flying around, spinning, going one hundred and fifty miles per hour and destroying everything in its path.
She liked him, like liked him. Yes, the official middle school definition. She actually cared about him, and she had no idea how it happened. But did he also care? She should’ve figured that one out days ago, really. The hot chocolate that first morning? It was so obvious. There were so many looks she tried to ignore, on both ends, actually. Many comments she pretended never happened. God, she said that men were blind, but holy shit! She might as well donate her eyes, because she clearly hadn’t been using them.
She wasn’t sure how long she let the Shit Tornado ravage her brain as she sat on the floor of her bathroom, but there was a knock on the door.
“Swan?” His voice was soft and sweet and fuck.
“Go away,” she muttered, absolutely in no state to see him.
“Love, what’s going on?”
He was so goddamn nice it made her want to cry. “Nothing,” it was a blatant lie, they both knew it, but she didn’t care. There was silence on the other side of the door, and she wasn’t sure if she was more relieved or disappointed.
But after a moment, he said, “I have rum,”
She sighed, going against at least half of the cells in her body and reaching up to open the door.
He was extremely polite and didn’t mention the fact that she was just in a robe, and he moved to sit beside her on the floor. Wordlessly, he unscrewed the cap to his flask and passed it to her.
She took a few sips and returned it to him. He didn’t pressure her to speak, and at this point that didn’t shock her. He wanted to wait until she was comfortable.
“Do you remember when we first met?” She asked.
“Of course,”
“I was a little rude,” she said quietly. “Do you know why?” He just shook his head, letting her continue without interrupting. She smiled. It was a weak one, but it was still a smile. “Something you said really freaked me out,” she looked at him.
His eyes found hers, and she could see that he was searching his memory.
“You said, ‘try something new, darling. It’s called trust,’”
“I sounded like a jackass,” he mumbled.
She laughed, “That’s not what freaked me out. What freaked me out was that just before you’d said that, I wanted to trust you. I felt like I could, and I’d known you for like ten minutes. Everyday, when I’m working or whatever I’m doing, I listen to my gut. That day, it was telling me to trust you, to open myself up to you. But I couldn’t risk being wrong, and it was so startling to want to trust someone, and I just-I couldn’t handle it. So I pushed you away,”
“That makes perfect sense, love.”
She sighed. “But this funny thing has been happening. I don’t want to push you away anymore,”
A smile tugged at the corners of his lips. “I’d like to not be pushed away,” he told her. “But I also want you to be comfortable, and happy,”
“I know, but I realized today that I am comfortable. So comfortable it scared me,”
“Look, Emma, I know you’ve been hurt before. I know that it takes a lot to earn your trust, and I want you to know that it would be very much worth the effort, for me.” He shifted to face her properly. “I don’t do things part way, Swan. You should know that. If you’re willing to give this a shot, I’m ready to go all in,”
She stared at him for a moment, as if she were expecting to wake up from a dream or snap out of some sort of hallucination. “I’d like to try to give this a shot,” it was just a whisper, but the effect it had on his whole being was massive. His grin alone created a fire that warmed her heart.
Emma awoke with that childlike first-day-of-summer hopefulness, ready for all the joy and possibilities that lay in front of her.
But once she was out of her room and staring at him at the stove, she realized that she had absolutely no idea how she was supposed to act or even feel. She had a new tornado in her brain, but this one was the polar opposite of the Shit Tornado, this was a...Joy Tornado? It was definitely not something she’d experienced before.
 “Swan! I trust you slept well,” he said, handing her a mug. Her favorite mug, as usual, the yellow handmade-looking one that she used everyday, the one he discovered after that first day when she’d mentioned it offhand. Every day after that, that was the mug he would hand her as soon as she stumbled out of her room, hands rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
 “Your breakfast is on the table,” he informed her. He looked almost as excited as she felt, and it was really cute.
He joined her a minute later, his usual place at the table passed over for the seat beside her. She tried not to let it distract her, but unfortunately the Joy Tornado was picking up speed.
There was a different ease between them, something that had been a result of their conversation the night before. She caught herself watching him in a way she hadn’t allowed herself to just twenty-four hours earlier.
They made cupcakes for some reason, maybe because they discovered there was absolutely nothing else to do, and Emma couldn’t remember a time when she laughed more.
“Swan, try this!” He called, handing her a spoon with a bit of the chocolate batter.
It was heaven, and not just because she hadn’t had cupcake batter in years. When she gave him back the spoon, he tried it himself, and she couldn’t help but watch as the dark batter touched his lips.
Once he noticed she was staring, his eyebrow did that thing again, although this time the feeling in her chest wasn’t anything related to annoyance. In fact, she found it rather alluring. “See something you like, Swan?”
“Nope, not at all,” she said, a smirk creeping onto her lips.
“You’re a terrible liar, love,”
Emma caught herself far too many times thinking things that would make old Emma puke. Although ‘old’ more meant ‘a week ago.’ But she couldn’t find herself to care one bit.
They were crafting, yes crafting, with some random supplies they found hidden away in a box shoved into a corner in one of the many closets. It was pipe cleaners and stickers and children’s glue, but it was entertaining.
They’d made it a competition, of course. Whoever made the best picture in twenty minutes won, though there was no prize other than bragging rights. So naturally, the entire twenty minutes was spent throwing insults at each other, promising that their picture would be better than the other’s.
When the buzzer went off, Emma was embarrassingly proud of her creation. It was an extremely abstract landscape that reminded her of one of the places she’d lived as a foster kid. Sure, the forest was made up of pieces of green and blue pipe cleaners, but it was the best damn thing she’d ever made.
But Killian presented his masterpiece, and she almost lost it.
It was a swan. Aboard a pirate ship. Damn him.
“I think yours is brilliant, Swan,” he said, pride in his voice.  
She rolled her eyes, “You made a pirate ship, Jones. You win.”
“Well, if you insist. But I do plan on hanging both up on the fridge,” he said, and then actually got up and put them front and center, moving the magnets until they were sturdy. “There. Now, are you hungry?”
Emma spent their entire dinner trying to figure out how this man was even real. He was so considerate, and he always knew just what to say. He remembered all those little details and made her feel important. He never teased her in ways that actually inflicted any damage; it was like he knew which areas to avoid. All of this led her to one conclusion, one that she should have determined a long, long time ago: Killian wasn’t Neal.
In fact, the entire week she’d been pushing away thoughts of comparison before they could take form. When he made her hot chocolate, she’d tried not to remember how Neal could never get any of her orders right. Coffee, Chinese food, whatever, he could never get it right. Killian also never insulted the things she cared about, and took interest in the things she enjoyed. They were making the way through her rom-com collection, after all. Killian wasn’t pushy, he didn’t pry. He didn’t expect things from her that she wasn’t ready to give. It was a lot to process.
“We’re very pensive this evening, aren’t we?” Killian asked with a small smile. He too had been quiet.
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind,”
“No need to apologize, Swan,” he said, and it reminded her of another reason he wasn’t Neal. Perhaps she should start making a list.
“There’s something I’d like to tell you about,” Emma began once they’d finished eating, “but I think we’re going to need something a little stronger for this conversation,” she picked up her empty wine glass in show.
Killian nodded, moving immediately to take a bottle out of the cabinet. Rum, of course.
“Last night, there was something you said,” she told him, watching as he poured the alcohol for them. “You knew I’d been hurt before, and I think you should know about it,”
“You needn’t tell me if it makes you uncomfortable, love,”
Emma sighed, “That’s the thing, I know that I can share it with you. And I want to,” he didn’t reply, which she took as a cue to continue. “I met Neal when I was seventeen. I tried to steal a car that he had already stolen,” she laughed, and he raised an eyebrow. “I lived a much different life back then. Anyway, we fell in love, or so I thought, and we were together for a while, stealing what we needed to survive, planning to run away together after we’d had enough money. But Neal wanted to steal something bigger, some expensive watches, and when he got caught, he framed me. I went to jail for his crime,”
The silence that followed her story was deafening, and she shifted uncomfortably for a moment. “So that’s why I don’t do the whole ‘trust’ thing easily. I didn’t see it coming, and I should have.”
“Don’t blame yourself for that coward’s decisions, Emma,” his voice was quiet and restrained.
“I don’t. Or, I try not to. I know now that I was just a pawn, but it took me a long time to figure it out.”
“Thank you for sharing that with me, love,” he said, adding more alcohol to their glasses. “Well, while the rum is out, perhaps you’d like to hear my own depressing tale,” he joked, although his laugh wasn’t as hearty as she knew it to be.
“I met my first love, Milah, when I was a young lad. Twenty-three, actually. She was adventurous and a bit older, and I fell deeply in love. I didn’t know she had a husband and a son until almost a year later,”
“Shit,” Emma muttered, and he smiled.
“Aye, my sentiments exactly. But I was positively head over heels—young love and all that—so I stayed with her. We met in secret for a year after my little discovery, although it had really been secret the entire time. And then her husband forced her to move far away, I’m assuming he found out about me, and about six months after that, I’d heard that she had died in a car crash. I’m not sure if she ever truly loved me, or if she just saw me as some sort of rebellious freedom,” he finished.
“Aren’t we a pair,” she said after a few minutes.
“Aye, I believe we make quite the team, love,”
They ignored Emma’s movie collection and just spent the rest of the evening consuming the contents of the bottle on the table, bonding over shared (mostly heartbreaking) experiences. She knew she would regret the last few drinks in the morning, but that wasn’t important. What was important was that Emma now understood how Killian could know her so damn well.
And she couldn’t bring herself to mind at all.
As expected, a headache greeted Emma when she got up, and the light peeking in made the pounding against her skull much worse. She groaned as she pushed herself out of her bed, hoping very much that Killian wouldn’t be as chipper as he usually was in the morning.
A rather familiar green and disgusting-looking drink sat on the counter waiting for her. “Ah, the famous Jones hangover cure,” she mumbled, grabbing it and trying not to think about what she knew it contained.
“So you’ve heard of it,” Killian’s voice was much more subdued than usual.
“Yes, Liam has made it for me many times,” she explained, and he nodded thoughtfully. She downed the glass, holding her nose as she did so. “Gross,” she commented, placing the cup on the counter.
“True, but give it half an hour,” he said, turning off the stove. “I made us omelettes this morning,”
“I didn’t expect you to make breakfast...I don’t even think I could stand up for five minutes right now,”
“What can I say, I’m a creature of habit,” he grinned, handing her a plate full of food and moving towards the table to put down his own. “Besides, I very much enjoy cooking for you, Swan.”
“Why’s that?” She wondered, crossing the kitchen to place her plate directly beside his.
She looked up when he didn’t reply right away, just in time to see him reach up to scratch behind his ear, a nervous habit she’d noticed around day three. “Perhaps it’s because that was the first time I actually made you smile, that first morning,” he said quietly.
She stared at him for a moment, her brain processing his words much slower than its usual rate.
But then her lips were on his, and she couldn’t even remember actually closing the distance between them. One minute he was three feet away, the next minute, he wasn’t.
His body froze for just a fraction of a second before he responded, his hand coming up to tangle in her hair. Emma’s fingers played at the hair that rested at the nape of his neck as she stood on her toes just to be closer.
It was passionate and desperate and Emma could spend an eternity there, but before that could happen, Killian took one step to separate them. She looked at him for a moment, brow furrowed in a question.
“As much as I am enjoying this, love, and I am, I think we should stop before we take this elsewhere,”
She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“I’m not interested in a one-time thing, Emma. It’s important to me that you know that,”
“Oh,” was all she could say.
“Of course I want to, believe me, love. I just...I have a history of one night stands, and I don’t want you to think that’s what this is. One night with you would certainly not be enough,”
She blinked for a second. “I don’t want this to be a one night stand, Killian. That would be really difficult to pull off, too, because we’re kind of stuck here, remember?” She joked.
He chucked. “True, very true.” He scratched behind his ear again, “I wasn’t—I’m not rejecting you, love.”
“I know, and I understand. I also have been known to have a one night stand here or there, and I agree. Maybe jumping right in wouldn’t be the best course of action, here.”
In response, Killian bent down to place a much more chaste kiss on her lips.  
 Emma spent the next few hours reminding herself of his words, convincing herself that he wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t rejecting her. She knew it, it made sense, yet that part of her, that annoying little voice that liked to tell her she wasn’t enough, told her that he didn’t want her. At least, the little voice had been trying to, until Killian’s actions spoke louder.
They watched a movie instead of being productive, and he very neatly tucked her into his side as soon as they sat down. She couldn’t even pay attention as Ryan Reynolds was being yelled at by Sandra Bullock, because Killian kept tracing the back of her hand with his thumb.
 And then when the movie was over, he pulled her up off the couch, dragging her to the kitchen where he made her a hot chocolate. Killian found casual, normal, everyday reasons to touch her, and she loved it. It was the casual intimacy that she’d never had before, and it made her heart so full that it hurt.
“David, will you relax? We are not going to run out of toilet paper. We’re fine!” Emma tried to convince him. They’d been Skyping for about ten minutes in the living room when Killian came out of his (Liam’s) bedroom.
“I can just order you some. Right now. I’m on the site already,” David said, holding up his phone.
 “We have plenty, right Killian?” She asked, and he came over to sit beside her on the couch.
“Yes, mate, we’ve got enough to last us three months if need be,” he told him.
“I told you, David. You’re so dramatic,” Mary Margaret said, but there was so much love in her voice that it was clearly not an insult.
“Yeah, you and Killian could start a club,” Emma nudged him playfully.
Killian just shook his head, grinning at her. She couldn’t help but grin back.
“Emma?” Mary Margaret called.
“Yeah?”
“This might sound crazy, but are you two…is something going on between you two?”
Emma’s eyes widened, and she looked at Killian, no idea how to reply. He just gave this little encouraging nod, and she sighed. “Fine. You caught us,”
“I knew it!” Mary Margaret exclaimed.
“Okay, what? You just...started dating in the midst of a global catastrophe?” David interjected.
“It’s not like we planned it!” Emma said indignantly.
Killian beamed, “No, this was definitely not planned. Although, I couldn’t have picked a better person to be in quarantine with than you, love,”
Emma ignored Mary Margaret’s loud ‘awe’ and replied, “Damn right. You could say that we make a great quaranTeam,”
Killian pretended to be deeply offended by her terrible pun, putting a hand over his chest. “Swan, I daresay that was the worst pun I’ve ever heard,”
“What are you gonna do? Break up with me?” She cocked an eyebrow.
“I would never,” he said seriously, and it made her heart stop.
She was glad that she had an indefinite amount of time to figure that one out.
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wistfulcynic · 4 years
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Self-Promo Sunday: Four Christmases
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Merry Christmas everyone! I wrote this fic last year for CS Secret Santa so I thought I’d share again. Enemies to friends to lovers with family moments and ice skating!  
SUMMARY: When Emma Swan first meets Killian Jones at her sister’s Christmas party, she is not impressed. Over the course of the four Christmases they spend in each other’s company, Killian does his best to change her mind. 
On Tumblr: The First | The Second | The Third | The Fourth
On AO3
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THE FIRST: 
They say first impressions are important, and Emma had always been a believer in this. It was essential for her job; if the skips weren’t convinced that she was there for a date with them, they’d never fall into her honey trap.
Of course, in her line of work she never spent enough time with anyone for there to be a second or third impression, so the first was pretty much all you got.
Her first impression of Killian Jones, formed about two hours into Emma’s sister Mary Margaret’s annual Christmas party, was not favourable. Of course she noticed his handsome face with its bright blue eyes and very kissable lips, but at the moment of their meeting those eyes were fixed on the naked breasts of her friend Ruby as the lips descended to latch onto her nipple and suck it hard as Ruby leaned back against the bathroom sink and moaned.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” shouted Emma.
“Ems!” shrieked Ruby, pushing Killian away and yanking up her dress.
Killian turned to glare at her, clearly displeased by the interruption. “Are you fucking kidding me,” he growled. “Barging in like this…”
“‘Barging in’? To the bathroom of my own apartment?”
He regarded her more closely, interest sparking in his eyes as he took in her habitual honey-trapping outfit of tight red dress and sky-high heels, her blonde hair in loose curls tumbling down her back. (“It’s— maybe a bit much for a friendly Christmas party?” Mary Margaret had said, but Emma knew that if she were going to survive a whole night with her sister’s very friendly friends then she needed her armour very much intact.)
“Ah, you must be Swan, then,” said Killian, his blue gaze now fixed on her as though Ruby and the party and the entire rest of the world didn’t exist.
“Emma Swan, yes.” She resisted the urge to squirm under his intense regard. The accelerated heartbeat and sudden hot flush across her skin she attributed to outrage. She simply wouldn’t allow them to be due to anything else.
“And do you not knock on bathroom doors here in your apartment, Emma Swan?” he inquired mockingly.
“I did knock,” hissed Emma, unconsciously moving closer to him. “You clearly didn’t hear me.”
“Well, I was rather occupied, love,” he said with an arrogant smirk that made her blood boil.
“I am not your love!”  
“No, indeed. Although that could certainly be remedied, should you wish it… Swan.” His smirk turned lascivious as he leaned into her space, his gaze roaming her body. His tongue flicked out to wet his lower lip and Emma actually shivered, suddenly overcome by images of that tongue and those lips on her skin.
What is wrong with me?
“You’re disgusting,” she hissed.
“Bit harsh, love.”
“Coming on to me in front of your— of the—” she gestured angrily at Ruby, who had been watching the interplay between Emma and Killian with extreme interest.
“Chill, Ems, it was just a bit of fun,” she said, “I took the opportunity to get some hot pirate action, but now that you have completely killed the mood, I’ll be getting back to the party. Maybe another time, Captain.”
“Aye, love,” replied Killian, his eyes still locked with Emma’s.
Ruby shook her head and squeezed behind Emma to get to the door, forcing her to take another step closer to Killian, who favoured her with a smile she would have found charming on a man she didn’t loathe.
“Now then, Swan, care to pick up where she left off?”
“I would rather rip out my own fingernails,” she retorted, the breathiness of her voice revealing the lie of her words. Why couldn’t she breathe?
He laughed, completely unperturbed. “I’d heard you were a tough lass.”
“Woman.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Lass means girl, right? I’m not a girl.”
The smirk returned. “That you certainly are not,” he purred, his voice dark and velvety and dripping with sinful promise.
There was that shiver again. Emma ground her teeth, struggling to think over the pounding of her heart, barely aware that she was biting her lower lip and shifting on her feet, squeezing her thighs together in an attempt to quell the tingling between them. What the hell was happening? There was no way she could be physically attracted to this jerk.
Killian closed the remaining distance between them, leading with his hips, one thumb tucked under his belt. With the other hand he reached up to grasp a lock of her hair, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger.
“So what do you say, Swan…” Maybe, she thought wildly, maybe I could… just this once… “…shall we see just how much of a woman you are?”
And the spell was broken.
Ugh, he was the worst, and now she was furious. Furious with him for ruining his gorgeous face by being such an asshole, with herself for being prepared to overlook it. How could she ever have even considered letting him touch her?
Quick as a flash, she grabbed his hand from her hair and whipped him around, twisting his arm behind his back, smiling in satisfaction at his grunt of pain.
“I would not fuck you,” she hissed in his ear, “If you were the last man on earth and the last hope for continuing the human race.” She wrenched his arm higher. “Do you understand?”
“I do,” he replied, through clenched teeth, “You needn’t press the point, Swan.”
She released him, and he immediately stumbled away from her, wincing as he reached up to massage his shoulder. He turned towards the door, twisting the knob and opening it a few inches before suddenly pausing and closing it again.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She blinked in surprise. “What?”
He turned to look at her for the first time since she’d released his arm, his expression free of suggestion or innuendo. Instead he looked… ashamed?
“My behaviour just now, it was… uncouth. Bad form. I apologise.”
“Oh.” She had not been expecting that. “Uh, fine. Thanks. Still not gonna fuck you.”
The smirk returned, this time merely a wry twist of his mouth, an eyebrow slightly quirked. “I’d never dream of suggesting you would,” he said. “See you around, Emma Swan.”
And with a small, slightly mocking bow, he was gone.
She saw him several more times that night, watched him actually, if she was honest, as he chatted and laughed and charmed his way through her friends and acquaintances. She waited for him to slip up, to show them the nasty, leering side of himself she’d seen in the bathroom, but he never did. In fact, they all seemed to love him.
It really pissed her off.
“So who is this Killian guy anyway?” she asked Mary Margaret when they went to the kitchen together to get drinks for everyone.
“Uh, he’s a friend of David’s.” Mary Margaret was distracted, trying to remember all the drink orders.
“Yeah, but how do they know each other? They seem… kinda different.”
“They met during David’s year abroad. You remember he studied in London? Killian was there too, I think they met in a pub or something.”
“Yeah, he seems like the kind of guy to hang out in pubs,” said Emma, wrenching the cap off a bottle of beer with perhaps slightly more force than was strictly required.  
Mary Margaret gave her an odd look. “Killian is definitely a character, but David says he was miserable in London before they met. Killian helped him feel more at home, introduced him to his friends, invited him to parties and stuff. He’s really a nice guy, Emma.”
Emma snorted. Nice guys didn’t come on to strange women in bathrooms.
“David’s been trying to get him to Storybrooke for Christmas for years now, but he’s always busy. He has to leave again tomorrow, actually. Something to do with his work.”
“What does he do?” Why was she interested?
“I don’t know exactly, he works on some kind of ship. Modern piracy, or something, David said.”
Ruby had called him a pirate too.
As she helped Mary Margaret carry the drinks, Emma found her attention drawn back to Killian, who was sitting on the arm of the sofa talking to… well, everyone, it seemed. He was telling a story, illustrating it animatedly with his hands —nice hands, she noticed, damn it— obviously coming to the punch line just as she arrived because the entire room burst into laughter.
Emma gritted her teeth as she handed him a beer.
“Thank you, Swan,” he said, with a polite smile. She nodded brusquely and turned away. She did not stomp off. She didn’t.
“So you’ve met Emma then,” said David.
“Aye, though I fear I’ve made rather a poor first impression,” Killian replied.
“Yeah, that’s not hard to do. Emma can be a bit prickly. She wasn’t my biggest fan at first either.”
“She’s Mary Margaret’s sister, you say?”
“Half sister, yeah. It’s a sad story. Their dad had a fling with Emma’s mom right after Mary Margaret’s mom died. When Emma’s mom found out she was pregnant, she freaked out and ran away. Their dad tried to find her, but she’d completely disappeared. Emma was found abandoned on the side of a road when she was less than a day old, and no one ever saw her mother again. She got swallowed up by the system then, spent years in foster care before their dad finally tracked her down.”
“Bloody hell.”
“You said it.”
Killian watched as Emma distributed drinks to the rest of the guests. Although she wasn’t unfriendly, her body language was decidedly closed off and unwelcoming, a clear warning to anyone who might try to get too close. Yet she couldn’t quite hide the yearning in her eyes as she watched the easy way the others interacted. She wanted affection, he realised, longed for intimacy, she just couldn’t open herself up to it, couldn’t bring herself to let anyone in.  
Fascinating.
He wished he could tell her that he understood, that he’d also been abandoned by a parent, and that after his brother’s death followed closely by his girlfriend’s he’d closed himself off from people too. It was hard to let anyone in when your only experiences with intimacy had ended in loss and betrayal, no one understood that better than he. Unfortunately, he feared he’d destroyed any chance to connect with her before he’d even really known he wanted to.
Killian kicked himself mentally for what must be the hundredth time in the past hour for having been such a boor in the bathroom. He didn’t know what he’d been thinking.
Although no, that wasn’t quite true. The problem was that he hadn’t been thinking. At least, he hadn’t been thinking with his brain. With his body already worked up by his dalliance with Ruby and his wits dulled by alcohol he had simply not been prepared for Emma, for the sharp green eyes that had pierced clear to his soul even as her soft gold hair had begged for his fingers to sink into it and pull her mouth to his. Immediately Ruby and the party and the fact that they were in the bloody bathroom had flown right out of his head, leaving only Emma and the hitch in her breath that he could feel on his cheek, the way her eyes had darkened as she bit a bright pink hue into her lower lip completely overwhelming his common sense and all his filters.
Oh, and he was a complete arse. That hadn’t helped matters either.
If only he didn’t have to leave early the next morning, he thought in frustration. Given enough time, he might be able to salvage the situation —salvaging wrecks was his job, after all— but instead her negative opinion of him would only solidify in his absence, and she’d probably spend the rest of her life thinking he was a creepy jerk.
He had no idea why this troubled him so much. All he knew was that he’d never felt so drawn to a woman before; even beyond the sexual attraction he sensed a kindred spirit in her and he couldn’t bear the idea of her despising him. Even if they never saw each other again.
He managed to speak to her once more, as he was leaving the party. She had fetched his coat for him (at Mary Margaret’s request and clearly under protest, he couldn’t help noticing), and he allowed his fingers to brush hers, lightly, as he took it from her.
Her sharp intake of breath and the way she snatched her hand away was balm to his soul. Whatever else, she wasn’t indifferent to him.
“So, you’re leaving tomorrow,” she blurted out, as he was shrugging the coat on.
“Aye. I have to get back to work.”
“On Christmas Eve?”
“Much of my work is… time sensitive. And I’ve no family anymore, so there’s not much point in taking the time off when I’d just be spending it alone.”
He had no idea why he’d told her that.
Perhaps he just wanted her to know that he too knew what it felt like to have no one.
Understanding and a hint of sympathy flashed across her face. “You could spend it with David,” she said, in a friendlier tone. “The holidays, I mean. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”
“Aye, so he keeps telling me. But I don’t wish to impose.” He hesitated a moment before adding “Perhaps next year.” He zipped up his coat and slung his satchel over his shoulder, then turned and smiled at her, offering his hand. To his surprise, she took it.
On impulse, he lifted hers to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Her eyes widened, and she swallowed hard, licking her lips as she did, and Killian cursed the gods and the fates, and his own idiot self for ruining whatever chances he might otherwise have had with this woman.
“Happy Christmas, Emma Swan,” he said.
-
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witchofthemidlands · 5 years
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WHY POWER RANGERS 2017 DESERVED A SEQUEL. In This Essay I Will...
A lot of people are gonna disagree with me on this, but in my opinion, Power Rangers 2017 is a goddam masterpiece. It’s probs my second favourite film of all time. It’s beautiful, it’s funny, I felt that soundtrack in my soul and it has an amazing cast. I adore it, alright? Have done since I brought the dvd, because I couldn’t see it in cinemas at the time, because of those stupid ass exams... Anyway, I’m in a shitty headspace, I kinda want to yeet myself out of a window, I’ve had a drink, so, like the piece of actual garage I am, I am going to yeet myself into the trash can of Power Rangers 2017 & explain, why I believe that this film deserved a sequel.
First off THE CHARACTERS. Honestly, one the best things about this entire film is just these five wonderful characters. I could’ve watched these characters do random shit for a whole twenty four hours & not get bored istg, they’re great & they all deserved the world.
Jason Scott: Red Ranger, leader of the squad. Jason is probably my favourite out of the squad if I had to pick one & that’s not just because he’s played by the absolute legend, Dacre Montgomery. Jason won me over from the minute he said ‘tHat’S nOt aN uDDeR dUDe!’ (how tf did the cow get out of the gym to be in the field when Jason’s driving away though) Jason was completely different from everything I was expecting him to be. I thought he was just gonna be another one of those dumbass jock characters, who would slowly start to get on my nerves, but nope. Unlike what I was expecting, this character showed a great range of emotions. He was loyal, brave, hugged his best mate twice and cared so much about his family & friends. I mean the guy went so goddam HARD for Billy Cranston after only knowing him for five minutes. I stan that level of immense friendship.
Kimberly Hart: Pink Ranger. I adored her, honestly, I loved everything about her. She was played by the gorgeous Naomi Scott & was a really interesting character, because she was a character that had done a really shitty thing, but was trying to do better. What I liked about all these characters, was that they were all flawed in some way & were not perfect like all these kinds of films try to portray their characters, which was honestly, why Power Rangers was such a breath of fresh air, because it actually showed decent characters, that were not perfect and were working to try and become the best versions of themselves, but knew that they had a long way to go before they could do that. Kimberly was a part of a cyber bullying incident & it was great to see that they never tried to excuse the shit she did, but got her to accept that she did do it and that she couldn’t change what she did. When I first watched this film, I immediately expected Kim to be a major bitch, but she wasn’t. Seriously, these characters were so well written istg. Also, I know the kiss scene was deleted & I both agree & disagree about them deleting it (I shipped Jason & Kim, guys. Then again, I pretty much shipped them all at random times. Jason & Kim, Jason & Billy, Kim & Trini, all the Rangers in one big beautiful poly relationship etc) Yet, what I did like about it was how forward Kim was, most these teen based films, it’s always the guy who makes the first move, gives the first kiss etc, but ma girl, Kim WENT for it. I mean, she full on went for it & topped Jason. I have never stanned harder. You go, Kim! Again, I adored her. Enough said.
Billy Cranston: Blue Ranger, honestly the purest of them all. I loved this guy from the second he appeared (screw that asshole who broke his pencils in his first scene I’d have done more than just slapped that bitch istg), he cared so much about his mates, he gave everything into becoming a Ranger, like the guy was so pumped about becoming a superhero. Too pure for this world, I swear & was such a cheerful character, I mean, the poor dude literally died & he was still probs the happiest of them all. His friendship with Jason was literally one of the best friendships I’ve seen in a film between two dudes, they loved each other & were pretty much joined at the hip throughout the film, honestly legends. Again, these writers really wrote some bloody good characters, because they wrote Billy to be an autistic character & it’s rare to see representation of autistic characters, especially ones that are main characters, which is another reason why the character of Billy Cranston was greatly appreciated, because they handled it well. I will always love that scene where Billy is trying to explain his autism to Jason & he’s just like ‘you don’t have to explain it to me.’ Because Jason accepted him for who he is right away. This friendship was beautiful & the fact that we were robbed of seeing more of it in a sequel is a crime against nature.
Zack Taylor: Black Ranger, was honestly my dude. This guy was so much fun, but honestly, the stand out thing about his character was how much he loved his mother! I appreciate how realistically written these characters are, I really do. It was great to finally see a teenage character who was shown to be a care provider for a relative. It broke my soul when Zack said that his greatest fear was coming home & finding his mother dead, as someone who helps care for a relative, that is a very real fear & I appreciated how they wrote Zack’s explanation about his mother. Another thing I liked about him, was that even though he was a tease & flirted with Trini throughout most of the film, he totally cooled it down when she admitted that she was questioning her sexuality. Honestly, a character to stan here.
Trini: Yellow Ranger, an absolute mood. Oof, what a character. I honestly didn’t know that Becky G could act, but she honestly blew me away in Power Rangers. Trini was definitely one of the best characters in the film, she came across as tough as nails, but she slowly started to find a family in the Ranger Squad. Her & Kim were awesome (I pretty much ship all these characters in various ships, but I gotta admit, I got some hella gay vibes during that doughnut scene). She evidently had helicopter parents, but got on well with her siblings, even if one did say that he thought the Yellow Ranger was a dude, honestly iconic. There was an interesting part where she was talking questioning her sexuality & her parents want to use labels, again, these writers really gave it their all with these characters, because that is incredibly realistic & I really felt for her.
Seriously, this is an incredibly talented cast (Dacre Montgomery deserves whatever awards they can throw at him for Stranger Things) & is one of the more diverse casts I’ve seen in a film & the fact that they want to reboot it again without this cast is just wrong. Yeah, the story was a bit patchy in places, it wasn’t a groundbreaking film, but to me it was a masterpiece, because it made me feel things, it made me laugh, it gave me something I could escape to when I needed it. It had fantastically written characters that you could actually relate to and it was just a whole lot of fun. There’s so much shite out there these days that gets sequels green lit that isn’t nearly as half as good as Power Rangers 2017 was. They also didn’t give us a complete ending, what with the post credit scene, where it seemed like they were introducing their proposed version of Tommy Oliver. I wanted to see who they’d want as Tommy, how they’d write the character & how they’d change the character. I heard somewhere (don’t quote me on this I saw it on tumblr) that Tommy could’ve been a woman in this version, that would’ve been epic. They had so much potential there & they just gave up & decided to reboot because of what? Was it because the film did that badly, did the cast not want to do a second film? I totally respect them for that if they didn’t, but it totally sucks ass that they’re rebooting it again, because they had the perfect set up there, they had a banging soundtrack, the best cast known to man & god & PLEASE can someone create an actual Alpha Five? I need a motivational robot like that in my life.
Power Rangers 2017 deserved sequels.
However, if it must be rebooted, my fan cast for the reboot would be.
Dacre Montgomery - Jason Scott
Naomi Scott - Kimberly Hart
RJ Cyler - Billy Cranston
Becky G - Trini
Ludi Lin - Zack Taylor
Bill Hader - Alpha Five
Whoever they want for the rest of the cast.
POWER RANGERS 2017 DESERVED BETTER FOLKS.
✌️
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sleepytoycollection · 5 years
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Fresh Squad Malik, A Review*
*Tumblr Safe Censored Version 
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The Fresh Dolls have been a steadily growing line, and recently introduced some guys to their line up of girls. Fully articulated ones at that, so of course I was interested. Malik here is from the deluxe set and cost $24.99. So how is he? Well we’ll find out.
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First off, I apologize for this lighting, it’s gonna be all over the place during this review. All the same, I think you can see Malik comes in a fairly common form of packaging nowadays, the plastic cover attached to a card board backing.
There you can see the variety of accessories he comes with, and a boast of 13 points of articulation! That’s awesome, articulated boy dolls are getting harder and harder to find in the play doll market.
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On the back we have pictures of various ladies available in this line, as well as two other male characters who were unfortunately not at walmart that day when I bought him.  
I must sadly admit, I have yet to purchase one of their ladies, so I can’t talk about them in this review.
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A close up of Malik with the outer shell removed.
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He comes with a black varsity style jacket.
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As well as laptop, phone, and sunglasses.
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Here’s all his things out of the box. He was extremely easy to remove, no tags in his head, just a few around his waist and legs. I was so relived about that, fearing what would happen to his braids.
There’s a lot to cover with him, so let’s start with his things.
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The laptop is cute, and has a sticker to make it look like he’s on the Fresh dolls website. The phone also uses sticker details.
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The phone is pretty basic, but does have the Fresh logo on the back. (My apologies that it’s hard to see.) Unfortunately it does not have any grips, so he cannot hold it properly without rubber bands or some other extra attachment.
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The laptop can close, and also had the Fresh logo on the back. This piece will likely get a lot more use from me; it’s cute and previously I only had one mini laptop everyone had to share, so I’m glad to have it.
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The sunglasses solid back, and have no painted details.
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Onto his clothes, the jacket is made of a dense knit fabric, it feels very solid and nice. I wish there was a little something to break up the solid color, but on the plus side it will be very easy to match with other pieces.
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And here’s what Malik comes wearing, a white t-shirt, an open plaid collared shirt, and blue jeans. It’s a pretty realistic fashion choice, I see plenty of guys irl dressed similarly.
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The shirt is make of a synthetic fabric. with the design printed on. It feels sewn together well, but I’m not a big fan of it. I like plaid, but this particular pattern isn’t doing it for me, not helped by the stiff, plastic like material. I understand doll lines use it to save money, but it feels cheap.
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Luckily, the shirt under it is much better. It’s a nice feeling cotton knit, Like the jacket is is all one solid color, albeit white this time, but still a good, versatile piece to have around.  
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And speaking of versatility, jeans! Oh Lord am I happy to see a nice pair of jeans on a guy doll again. Shorts are becoming way too common, and when I do see pants they're made specific to one outfit and can’t be swapped around as much as I’d like.
These are fantastic too, and made of a thin denim with realistic sewn details. Very Quality, and my favorite of the outfit pieces.
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Onto the last of his outfit, his shoes, They’re a sturdy, if stiff plastic, though not hard to remove or get back on despite it, with nice molded details in a solid red color. I’m not a huge fan of how bright the red is, especially with nothing to break it up, so they’ll likely get a paint job from me.
Even so, they do what they’re supposed to, and do match his plaid shirt well enough.  
And with all that said....
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Onto the doll himself!
I’m gonna be honest, one of the reasons I have not bought a Fresh doll before were their faces. Not so much the sculpt, but I’m not a fan of their screening style. I would be lying if I said I liked it here.
The eyes in particular lose me, I think it’s the bold shading. It’s not bad, it’s just not my taste. On a technical level, the screening is fine, there’s no smudges, and I didn’t see much wonk among the shelf. So that’s good.
The sculpt is nice though, and with the facial hair especially his face makes me think of Miles Morales’s Uncle Aaron. If Uncle Aaron had braids lol.
Speaking of his braids:
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Wow! I love his hair so much. It’s so looong!! and It feels so nice to the touch too. They did an excellent job here.
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The rooting is good as well, there’s no part, but it’s dense enough you can fake it if you don’t push it too far. It’s fantastic.
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Speaking of fantastic things, that body sculpt! I wasn’t sure what to expect, this was the line’s first boy doll, and I’ve seen experienced doll makers come up with less than impressive things.
But this sculpt? Now this is what I’ve been looking to see.
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It’s so realistic and natural in it’s details, the best comparisons I can even think to it are all from much more expensive collector dolls.  
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I mean just look at that, my pictures don’t do justice at all to it.  I am so impressed.
Well we’ve established the sculpt is good, but how does he pose?
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Well he does sit nice and level.
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His knees go just shy of a 90 degree angle, so kneeling is not going to be his strong suit, but a one-knee pose he can hold no problem.
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His arms and wrists too don’t quite make it to that right angle either, meaning he can’t touch his face, or put a hand on his hip realistically.
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So close.
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He can do full splits no problem.
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Both ways, though not quite as flat to the ground in this direction.
Not bad over all, but just shy of being perfect. Most of his poses he holds very well, not too stiff or too loose, aside from his right hip which flopped a bit.
But for a first foray into making male dolls, I’m very impressed and pleased.
As far as sizing, here he is next to some other bodies I had one hand.
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His body is a touch shorter than collector Ken, and slightly thicker, but not so far off that they can’t share clothes.
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Broad Ken I included because I don’t have any current playline Ken bodies, but he shows the playline height comparison well enough. It’s very close.
Sculpt wise he’s much more in line with my action figure body however.
If anyone would like more comparisons, let me know and I’ll try by best.
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Here he is, once more dressed, and chilling on his laptop. I definitely like his jacket more than the plaid shirt.
So what’s my over all opinion?
At a price of $24.99 he’s on the higher price end of playline, but definitely worth it. His gorgeous hair, fantastic body sculpt, articulation and sturdy, versatile clothing give him more than enough positives to outweigh the few negatives.
And quite frankly articulate dolls of color are near impossible to find, so it makes me very glad to see these showing up in stores where they can be readily available.
I bought him in the hopes of rebodying another doll of mine, but I love his hair so much it’s almost a shame to do so. I can definitely see myself buying more in the future.
I might even have to break down and pick up one of the Fresh Squad ladies. He has my full recommendation and I wish this line much future success.
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stormblessedcastiel · 6 years
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The MCU Generation
So I’ve been thinking about Marvel a lot lately. Specifically Infinity War. And I have some Feelings™, so I just thought I’d share. This is probably going to be long and super inaccurate and cringe-y, I don’t mean to offend anyone, but I just wanted to get it out of my system. BTW there will be lots of spoilers.
Iron Man was released in 2008, and many people including me consider it the true beginning of the cultural phenomenon that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I was eight years old when it came out, man that makes me feel old. I didn’t really know much about/pay attention to/care about superheroes much at that point, but my dad liked those kinds of movies so I had watched things like the Tobey Maguire spider man movies and Christopher Nolan’s batman movies (the first two were out at that time). They didn’t really hold much interest for me at the time. Iron man rolled around and dad seemed excited about it, but it still just seemed like another comic movie that the family would maybe re-watch if it were on TV or something. No big deal, right? Well, time went on and I started to hear talk about a bigger story. Iron man 2 came out when I was 10, and introduced nick fury and Natasha Romanoff. Still, I paid little mind to the film besides casually enjoying it like any other decent action film. Then came Thor. One year later, we got the first taste of the universe outside of Tony Stark, and that universe was much larger than I had anticipated. Looking back, the first Thor movie was definitely not the best superhero film ever made, but it did a lot of things right. Most importantly, it set the stage for more heroes who quickly joined ranks. It’s at this point that I feel the MCU really started to gain traction, at least from what I was hearing. My eleven-year-old self was beginning to view this collection of movies as something with potential, something to get excited about. In that same year, Captain America: The First Avenger hit the big screen. This is where I became truly and totally hooked. I don’t know what did it, but something about the story, the characters, or the message seemed to grab my full attention. This was the movie that had me craving the next installment. It probably helped that at about twelve years old I was starting to enter the social media world, if only in small doses. I discovered Pinterest and quickly realized that other people around my age (maybe a few years older) were talking about these movies, interacting with each other, making jokes and edits and headcanons. If I wasn’t invested in the MCU characters before then, that changed rapidly. Seeing other people’s takes on what the heroes thought or did off camera, speculation about subtext relationships, comparisons and continuations of themes from the comics, all mushed together to bring me closer to this Story than I had ever been before. So I was ready for Avengers. The Big One. The superhero movie that did what no superhero movie had done before. It brought together a cast from multiple movies into one glorious world-saving group. By this point, everyone could see that this franchise would make an impact. It truly was an entire universe, and we had just touched on the surface of this super team potential. Fans were everywhere; people at school, on the street, in commercials had their favorite heroes’ logo somewhere on their clothing or bag. There had never been (or I maybe just never noticed) such a widely spread media infatuation. 
Then came phase two. Iron man 3, Thor dark world, captain America winter soldier, guardians of the galaxy, age of Ultron, and ant man. These came out between my 13 and 16th birthdays. In my opinion (back then and now), none of these movies were quite up to par with those of phase one, but nostalgia may have already been clouding my judgement, even after just a few years. However, they did give us more characters to love, and also let us enjoy learning more about our old faves. I think this phase was Marvel kind of trying to find their footing in this huge undertaking they just opened up, trying to figure out how to write their stories now that they had to feel like they were in such a large universe?? I don’t know, it just feels like Phase One took place in a box the size of a fridge, and Phase Two now had to try (or at least start) to fill out an entire swimming pool. I was still excited with every new movie announcement and was happy to watch them, but after age of Ultron I feel like I lost a bit of steam. So much that I didn’t see Antman at all when it came out. It just didn’t seem worth it.
Phase Three. Civil War. I think this movie is the turning point for the MCU, into a much darker and somber tone. Inner conflicts among the avengers that have literally been boiling for years come to a head, we see so many characters in the same place, see their stories starting to turn in different directions from each other and we, as fans, are starting to get torn apart. Team Iron Man, Team Cap, and social media is stronger than ever, and more prevalent in my life. We don’t even get a solution at the end of the movie. It ends with both sides hurt, betrayed, and with no clue where to go from here, just like us viewers. It’s fair to say that I was re-invested in this universe once more. Though it hurt, I think Marvel needed to introduce some real, lasting damage to its characters. I feel like this movie took itself more seriously as well. That was 2016. After that, we got Dr. Strange, GotG volume two, Spiderman homecoming, Thor: Ragnarok, and Black panther. While these movies were not perfect either, I think they got a lot closer to what marvel wanted to make their universe feel like. They know what they’re doing now, and we fans got some great new characters out of it, along with a fun new take on some old ones (I’m looking at you, Mr. Waititi). I do want to mention a couple little things about some of these. Spiderman was worrisome for me, because the character had had two separate franchises in the last decade or so. That’s a pretty quick turnover. Let it be known that my fears have been quelled, and Tom Holland is my true Spiderman. (Tobey will hold a special place in my heart though. Sorry Andrew, better luck next time). AND THEN. The sensation that was Black Panther. This was when I was really getting into social media; tumblr, youtube, deviantart, all that jazz. It is also when I started college, so imagine that absolute upheaval of perspective. This movie was so important for minorities, and it caused such a stir just as my life was turned 180 degrees on its head. I didn’t know what to think. But I loved it.
Everything was going good. Marvel was hitting its stride again, life was changing, and my mind was expanding and finding out things that I had never considered before. I was 18 years old.
Then it happened. The one everyone had been waiting for for several years. “The endgame.” 
Infinity War.
Let me tell you what it was like when I sat down in the theater that cold spring day. I had heard whispered rumors. About loss, about death. I brushed them off as speculation, trying not to latch onto any spoilers. I wanted to be totally oblivious as to what was about to happen, so I could experience it as mine and only mine the first time. I sat down in that dark theater with my parents, brother, snacks, tissues, and blanket. Mind you, the tissues were for allergies that had been acting up the past few days. I never cried at movies. Never. The trailers played, my family and I whispered to each other about needing to keep an eye out for this or that film when it came out. Then the lights dropped to almost nothing. We settled in for the long haul as the Marvel logo began to play. You know the one, where it shows clips of the past movies, coming together to form the name of the company? Except this one said “MARVEL STUD10S.” Did you get that? There was a number 10 in the name. I was confused for a minute or so, until it dawned on me that the Marvel Cinematic Universe had been making movies for ten. years. More than half my life. I was still in elementary school when the first Iron Man came out. And now here I was, a year into college, about to watch characters that I had grown up with and come to love, in the movie that people were saying destroyed their souls. At that moment, I knew I was in trouble. I was right. Straight off the bat, we lost my favorite villain who really just needs a hug, one who really was instrumental in bringing the Avengers together in the first place. Loki Odinson, in his own words. Right up till the end, he was a trickster, but he loved his family. He and Heimdall were the first hard losses, though seeing all of Asgard torn to shreds was a wake-up call that no one was prepared for the utter destruction that had been avoided until this film. No more clean Disney kid-friendly-ness anymore. Throughout the movie, we got to see reunions, long-awaited meetings, even more characterization and growth (geez marvel, how did you even fit that in? This is the endgame movie? How are you still teaching us new things about these people?) torture, fighting. The tension to the final battle was mounting, and at some point it became clear to me that the Avengers would not be together when this threat arrived. And as anyone who has ever seen a horror movie can tell you, splitting up only leads to death. Now, here’s where my memory gets a little fuzzy. Things were happening so fast, switching from group to group of heroes trying desperately to stave off the destruction of everything we’ve ever known. Things are going wrong all over the place, no one knows where anyone else is or what they’re doing, people we love are fighting each other because they’ve never met before now. What I do remember is when we get to the fight on Titan. Half of the Guardians, Tony, Peter, Strange. Tensions are running high. When Thanos arrives, I have no Idea what’s about to happen. They start fighting, and we finally get a demonstration of some of the more amazing feats the Infinity Gauntlet can pull off. The upper hand swings back and forth so many times, but finally the heroes get their plan to work, they’ve got Thanos on the ground, the Gauntlet is almost off. And Quill… ruins it. What else can he do? He just found out that his love is dead. So he messes everything up. Thanos gets free, pummels everyone into the ground, and then… gets the stone. Strange gives up the stone, even though he swore he would let a child die before he would ever give up such a dangerous object. What the hell Strange???? Was my immediate reaction. I knew it had to be more than just some newfound compassion for these people he met a day ago (was it actually a day?? Has all of this only happened in one short day?) Obviously the doctor has a plan, but this still seems like the worst possible idea. Now to earth. We get some truly awesome moments here; Bucky and cap’s reunion, Shuri showing off her mad science skillz, epic fight moves against hordes of zombie lizards, Thor’s entrance, his little banter with Steve, “I am Groot” “I am Steve Rogers,” Scarlet Witch dropping in at the last second with that massive power move. Everything seems like it’s going ok, and then suddenly, its not. Everything drops so suddenly into Not OK Town that I can still feel the whiplash. People are scrambling to get to each other, calling for backup, getting knocked down and thrown around, and then Thanos makes his entrance. He practically wipes the floor with our remaining heroes. The only thing standing between the universe and total ruin is Wanda. I’ve been preparing for a scene like this the whole movie, but it didn’t hurt any less to finally see it. Vision begs Wanda to destroy the stone, to destroy him, we all know that she has to give in. That’s what heroes do. So she says goodbye to the man she loves and uses her power on him. Now I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’ve seen this scenario play out before. I’m expecting someone to get there at the last minute and just fricken’ knock Thanos out cold, or maybe discover that Shuri had enough time to basically detach the stone from Vision, even if it didn’t look like it. But no. Wanda destroys the mind stone and Vision actually dies at her hands. Even after all the death that’s already happened in this movie, I was still surprised and devastated.
But they couldn’t just end it like that, could they? Marvel Studios needs to drink every last drop of pain from their fans. 
Thanos moves back the clock. He takes the stone. Vision’s sacrifice was in vain, Wanda had to watch her love die for nothing. Nothing that anyone did made a difference. Since Avengers came out in 2012, these characters have been fighting to keep this evil at bay, to protect the stones, even before they knew it. And now none of it matters. Because Thanos the Mad Titan has all the infinity stones. It’s all over in my mind, I wait for the quintessential Villain Laugh™, the gloating, and then whatever evil thing Thanos has planned. But wait! Thor to the rescue with his brand-new hammer-axe! My heart leaps as he skewers the big purple raisin. He gets his revenge for Loki, for Heimdall, for all of Asgard, for us. Except. except. “You should have gone for the head.”
Wait,
snap. .
.
. My body is rigid and I can only stare unblinking in confusion at the screen. What’s going on? What did you do? WHAT DID YOU DO? Thanos disappears. Everything is quiet. “Where did he go?” Steve asks in confusion, mirroring all of our thoughts exactly.
“Steve?”
We see Bucky walking towards us, and then he just…. Dissolves. Into dust. what’s going on what was that My mind is sluggish. I don’t understand.
Wakandan warriors disappear in the wake of the battle. T’challa tries to help Okoye up but then he’s gone. Groot. Wanda. Sam. Mantis, Drax, Quill, Strange.
And oh god. 
“Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good.”  Oh god no.  “I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go, sir, please, I don’t want to go… I’m sorry.”
Gone.
Through this whole thing, it is silent. No music. Just emptiness, confusion, fear.
And that’s where we’re left. The audience is motionless. I do not cry at movies, but my throat is tight like a noose and my sleeves are soaked from wiping away tears.
Like all good Marvel fans, we remain still in our seats. I try to comprehend what just happened to me as the white credits scroll over a void and dramatic music accompanies them. We wait for our first end-credit scene. Instead, what we get is a fading of the music. Avengers: Infinity War shows from the center of the black screen, and a familiar melody plays. A few slow, simple notes on a piano. The triumphant theme of our heroes, earth’s mightiest protectors. It sounds lonely now. The last note plays, and the title dusts. And I almost scream.
If you’ve read this far, wow! Thank you for reading my absolute monstrosity of a garbage post! It’s been a few months now since Infinity War, and I’ve had time to think. What I figured out was this; when I’m older-old enough to be a parent myself-and looking back on my childhood, these are going to be the movies I remember like my dad remembers Star Wars. I was so lucky to be just the right age when this all started to enjoy every single one, and to remember experiencing them all for the first time. I was just the right age to forge a bond with the characters and their world. I think it was a special kind of bond that only occurs when you’re young but not too young, one that weaves webs of innocence and nostalgia through your most transformative years, and grows with you as you become a new person, and stays with you like a friend even as you see things so differently than when you first started out. What I’m trying to say is that I feel like I grew from child to adult just as the MCU did. We grew together. I don’t know if anyone my age feels the same, but these movies feel like the first big mainstream thing that really belongs to my generation. Like they came at the perfect time to shape me. It feels like they were made for me.
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3nlight3n3d-b0y · 6 years
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Learning: Ella Enchanted
Introduction:
I’d like to introduce all of you to a new project of mine.
Come to think of it the concept around my blog is based on absorbing feminine content and not producing it, so I thought some more about it and came up with the idea of reviewing a book with a strong female protagonist. I didn’t really know where to start for my first book of this type considering I’m more used to reading Lovecraft and Adam Smith rather than any books with a feminist spirit. Luckily since I’ve been on Tumblr I made friends with @yourgfdpunk who is really into exactly that type of stuff and who helped me out a lot with this, so go send her some love as well!
After a short talk with her she suggested Ella Enchanted as a good book. It’s meant for kids which I wasn’t used to; even as a kid I didn’t read kids’ books. However I thought it would make a good starting book for this project since it’s pretty wholesome and was probably an early book for a lot of girls out there when they got into reading. I do plan on continuing this “Learning” series as I like to call it, and my next plan is to begin the Lunar Chronicles series with Cinder.
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Overview:
Ella Enchanted was written by Gail Carson  Levine and was published in 1997, which makes the book about a year older than me. The book also shared its name with a very bad movie. It’s meant for kids and early/pre-teens, and the story is centered around Ella, a girl born to a vague level of nobility.She is cursed from birth by a fairy to follow any command, yet despite this she becomes an extremely rebellious and strong-willed young lady.
The story is an emotional roller coaster from the end of the first chapter to the epilogue, and the story truly begins after (spoiler alert, but the book’s 20 years old and it happens in Ch. 1) Ella’s mother dies and her world falls apart, as she and her mother were very close and her father is estranged and ignorant of her curse. The next two hundred pages or so are the trials and tribulations of Ella in her quest to find the fairy that cursed her and get her to remove the curse. In doing so she overcomes challenges from finishing school to hungry ogres.
My Thoughts:
The story is very touching, and if I could find one word to describe it I think I’d go with endearing. The story is packed with an ever-growing sense of anticipation and emotion, and along with the story comes some very humorous writing and dialogue such as:
…. Dame Olga agreed. “Ella is not outfitted in accordance with her station, Sir Peter. My girls have eight trunks between them.”
“Hattie has five and a half trunks, Mother. And I have only—” Olive stopped speaking to count on her fingers. “Less. I have less, and it’s not fair.”
Father cut in smoothly. “It’s most kind of you to take Ella with you, Dame Olga. I only hope she won’t be a bother.”
“Oh, she won’t bother me, Sir P. I’m not going.”
Father winced at the abbreviation.
It’s written for kids in middle-school so I give it a pass for being pretty simplistic is terms of pacing and plot devices, like the prince showing up out of nowhere every once in a while. However that doesn’t stop it from managing to pull your heartstrings as Ella copes with her desires and her own dreams to throw off a curse while struggling with patriarchal expectations being forced on her.
What I Learned:
I wasn’t sure what I was going to learn reading this book when I first got it given that it seemed rather simplistic. However I think this book is filled with subtle commentary and symbolism throughout, starting with the first chapter. For example, the story begins with Ella being born and being cursed by the fairy Lucinda with obedience in order to make her stop crying. Both Ella’s mother and her midwife beg Lucinda to remove the curse and she won’t, and I see this as Lucinda, who is represented as the stereotypical ultra-girly fairy, cursing Ella with the patriarchal societal expectation that women and girls must be obedient.
The fact that the mother and midwife also beg to remove the curse I think symbolizes the understanding and fear that a woman has when she has a daughter knowing the societal and gender norms that are going to try to keep her down. Additionally I think Lucinda fits a kind of “toxic femininity”, at least for most of the story, being a mostly two-dimensional stereotype that goes around making the lives of everyone harder as she reinforces toxic social norms. These aren’t the only points of symbolism that capture society in the book, they’re just the beginning (literally) and this book got pretty deep throughout the story considering it’s for kids. I think I also found points in this book particularly enlightening because as a male I was never raised with issues like these and the book manages to really explain a lot about them while saying little.
Aside from the writing and the background, I also wondered: what did Ella teach me? After thinking about it for a while I think Ella taught that strength can be found on the inside, and girls particularly must rely on their inner strength until they can find their voice and be able to assert themselves. Ella is no knight or assassin or wizard, she’s just a girl, and a small one at that, because girls weren’t allowed to be brought up like that; no, she had to go to finishing school to sew instead. For breaking patriarchal norms it can seem like even more of a challenge for girls in which they are raised to be docile, but Ella teaches that you don’t need to be a fighter or magician to be strong, you just have to find the strength inside you despite the world trying to put you down from birth for your sex or gender.
Conclusion:
I liked the book more than I thought I would. It was simple of course, but it was also very charming. The author’s charisma can be seen in the ink with interesting characters, funny dialogue, and her ability to make us feel endearment and sorrow. The book also packs a meaningful message thinly veiled under its charm about girl power and overcoming misogynistic norms that is neither easy to overlook or ham-fisted.
I’d give the book 4/5 stars.
Will I read it again? Probably not.
If I have kids will I make them read it? Definitely!
I hope you guys like my first real piece of original content! I actually put some effort into this and I hope to do more of them.
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