#i'm so fucking done i hate it here i hate it i hate it

[lilasamaaa]

The night we met | Lando Norris x Reader

Genre | Fluff.

Word count | 2.6K

Warnings | None for once! Enjoy some peace.....

Author's note | This piece is the result of yesterday's poll! Another poll will be coming soon for y'all to decide what's next :)

"I'm really not sure if it's a good idea, Alice," she sighs, looking over at the bed where her friend is seated, behind her.

"What makes you say that?" Alice replies, arching an eyebrow.

"I have a list of reasons, actually," she states, pulling out her phone.

"You and your damn lists!"

"I know you hate them, but they help me clear my mind," she says, clicking on a note.

"Alright, let's hear your reasons then," Alice laughs. "But I'm warning you, I'm going to dismantle them one by one."

"Okay," she starts. "Reason one is : I don't know him."

"That's kinda... the whole point of blind dates," her friend says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you agreed to this. I did not. You know how anxious I get when I don't know people," she says, head low.

"Lando is a really nice guy," Alice says, coming close to her friend and stroking her hair. "I just know he'll put you at ease right away."

She takes a few seconds to think, biting the inside of her cheek. It's not the first time she's about to go on a date with someone she's never met before. Even though she doesn't know him, she's not really worried about Lando. She's more concerned about herself, to be honest. She's not a model of eloquence, doesn't consider herself particularly pretty. She's sure her date will do his best. What she's not sure about, is if she'll be able to overcome her own anxiety about the whole situation.

"Reason two, then," she says, focusing back on the note. "I don't know a thing about racing. What are we even going to talk about?"

"Well, something else. I'm sure Lando would be delighted to talk about something other than work for once," Alice replies, winking.

She wasn't lying, she thinks. She really has an answer for everything.

"Shoot me with reason three, baby," Alice says, letting out a laugh.

"Reason three," she replies, eyeing her friend. "Let's say I don't fuck up, which would be a miracle in itself, and we hit it off. How am I supposed to maintain a long-distance relationship? We're not talking about Brighton or Cambridge, we're talking about another continent. Several times a year."

"Well, I'm glad you're thinking so much ahead," Alice replies, earning a frustrated grunt from her friend. "There'll be plenty of people who are in the same situation as you. You can always ask for advice from other WAGS," she concludes, laughing.

"You're insufferable."

"Was there a fourth reason to debunk, or are we done here?" Alice asks.

"There is, actually. That's the last one," she says, staring at her phone. "Every time I've gone on a date like this, without having seen the guy... They were never really... to my taste," she begins. "So I've never kissed them, never went any further. But if I like him, what am I supposed to do?"

"What's the real question?"

"Am I supposed to kiss him on the first date? I don't want him to think I'm easy. Is it better to play hard to get and..."

"Wow, you're overthinking this," Alice says, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I don't have any answer to give you. Just... Go with the flow. And if you're not sure about what to do, let him take the lead. Okay?"

An hour later, she's walking through the streets of Bristol, trying to calm her breathing, her thoughts, her already racing heart. She's checked the address Lando had sent her about ten times before leaving Alice's apartment. On principle, she takes out her phone, checking one last time. Her phone indicates that the restaurant is less than a minute's walk away, at the corner of the street she's on. There's still time to turn back, she thinks, before gathering herself. No. He doesn't deserve that.

In front of the restaurant, she casts a quick glance inside, checking if he's already there, before remembering that she doesn't even know what he looks like. Well, she has a vague idea. She's seen pictures on Alice's Facebook and Instagram over the years, but his precise features escape her. She remembers curly hair, beauty spots. Not much more. She's not sure if she would recognize him in a crowd.

She pushes the door and slips inside the buzzing restaurant, politely greeting the waitress who welcomes her.

"I have a reservation for two," she says. "The name's Norris."

"Ah yes, he's already here, in the second room. I'll take you to him," the waitress replies, flashing a smile.

Her heart stops. He's already here? She deliberately arrived fifteen minutes early to have time to settle down quietly, to gather herself. To wash her hands if they're too sweaty. This was not how it was supposed to go at all, she thinks, feeling the anxiety rise.

The waitress guides her through the tables to the small room at the back of the restaurant. On the way, her brain disconnects, giving way to total panic. I knew it was a bad idea, she tells herself, biting her lip. I'm going to make a fool of myself. The waitress suddenly stops, saying something that her brain doesn't comprehend before walking away and she looks up, meeting his gaze.

Oh, wow, she thinks, eyes widening. That man is too handsome for his own good.

"Hey, it's nice to meet you" he says, extending a bouquet of white tulips to her. "Alice said those were your favorites."

She smiles, taking the bouquet before burying her nose in it. Alice, you little sneak.

"Thank you so much," she replies, feeling her cheeks flush. "They're stunning."

Lando pulls out her chair before sitting back down, not taking his eyes off her. Feeling his gaze on her, she dives intensely into reading the menu. Or rather, she pretends to, because she's not even reading, just trying to avoid the attention the driver is giving her.

"You seem nervous," he states, still looking at her.

Feeling her cheeks turn red, she holds her menu higher in front of her face, hiding a little more. "Hey," he says, putting his finger on the menu to lower it. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry. I'm just really bad at this," she replies, finally looking at him. "Dates, conversations, one-on-ones. It's not about you, I swear."

There we go, she thinks, head low. We've been sitting for ten minutes and I've already messed everything up.

"Would you like to go somewhere else?" he asks, and she looks up, furrowing her brows.

"What?"

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, that wasn't the intention," he says. "A romantic dinner may be a bit much for a first date. So, if you want to go somewhere else, do something else, it's not a problem."

"But... We're already sitting," she says, confused.

"It's no big deal," he replies, shrugging. "The restaurant is packed, they won't go bankrupt because we leave. We can just tell them we don't like anything on the menu."

She lets out a laugh, covering her mouth, astonished by the driver's suggestion.

"If you could go anywhere, a place where you feel comfortable and safe, where would you go?" he asks, his big eyes detailing her.

She thinks for a moment, looking upwards, biting her lip again.

"If we really had no limits... I'd go to the sea," she replies, thoughtful.

"Let's go then," Lando says, rising up and taking his jacket.

"What? Lando, we can't do that," she says, still sitting. "The good beaches are like, an hour drive away."

But Lando has already circled the table, jacket in hand, extending his hand to her.

"My car's parked outside," he replies.

She doesn't understand what's happening, so for once, she sets aside her brain and listens to her heart, grasping his hand and allowing him to guide her towards the restaurant's exit, the driver only stopping to explain briefly to the very understanding waitress that an emergency has come up and they have to leave, carefully slipping several bills in her hand as a tip - and as compensation.

Outside, Lando leads her to his car, their hands still intertwined, her heels clicking on the cobblestones. He opens the door for her and she slips inside, her heart racing.

"I've never done anything like this in my entire life," she says, staring straight ahead.

"You should never force yourself to do something you don't want to do, though," he replies, looking through the rear window to reverse, leaning indirectly towards her. His scent reaches her nose and she can't help but look at him closely, detailing every detail of his profile. His clear eyes. His beauty spots that remind her of constellations. The curly lock of hair that crosses his forehead.

"Does Ogmore work for you?" he asks, snapping her out of her reverie.

"Ogmore's perfect," she replies, eyes glistening.

They set off, and as the English countryside landscape passes by through the window, she notices that for the first time since she left Alice's apartment, she isn't feeling anxious. Her heart still beats just as fast, sure, but she suspects it's not really because of stress anymore. Lando rummages between their seats and eventually pulls out a cable, which he hands to her.

"I don't mind driving, but you're the DJ," he says, laughing. "Put on some music. Let me know who you are."

She grabs the cable before connecting it to her phone, scrolling through her Spotify playlist. So you want to know who I am, huh? she thinks, blushing again, before clicking on her favorite song.

The first notes of "I'm Outta Time" by Oasis resonate in the car, and Lando shoots her a surprised look.

"I actually love that song," he says, smirking. "What does it tell about you?"

"Well," she starts. "As you must be starting to suspect, I strongly identify with the idea that the sea is the only place that manages to calm me down, where I truly feel free."

"I'm with you on that one," he replies.

"And then... It's quite personal, but to me, the song's about someone who's lonely. Someone seeking comfort, a pillar, someone who can support them through everything. But also someone they'd be willing to let go out of love."

Lando turns his head towards her, and she gets lost in the softness and understanding reflected in his eyes. The song comes to an end, and she clicks on "On Melancholy Hill" by Gorillaz.

"I promise I'm not depressed," she says, meeting his gaze, while he lets out a laugh.

"This one's talking about the sea, again," he states.

"There's that," she says. "And there's this dreamy feeling. It's about frustration, about pressuring yourself to achieve big things, when maybe..." she stops for a second. "Maybe just being with your person is enough. Maybe there's no need for more," she finishes, looking out the window, troubled by the feeling of having said too much.

"I get it," he says, still looking at the road ahead.

"You do?" she asks.

"Of course. I'm not the last one to have dreams and goals, as you can imagine. But at the end of the day, when all that's over, what's left? What do you turn to?"

The rest of the journey goes on in the same way. She plays a song, explains why she likes it, what it makes her feel, what it reminds her of. Lando listens attentively, interweaving her narrative with his own anecdotes, sharing his thoughts, his fears. That's much more intimate than a restaurant, she thinks. But somehow, she doesn't mind.

Forty minutes later, a sign indicates that Ogmore is the next exit, and Lando turns onto the narrow road, which soon becomes a path. They leave the car in a parking lot, where only a few cars are parked before embarking on the sandy trail. Before them, the sun has begun to set, tinting the sky with orange, pink, and violet hues.

"Just in time," Lando says before plopping down on the sand. She sits beside him, closing her eyes. Absorbing the healing sound of the waves.

"Thank you so much for this, Lando. You have no idea how much it means to me," she says, feeling emotional.

They both lie there, side by side, without saying a word, lulled by the sound of the waves.

"Do you remember the night we met?" Lando suddenly asks, looking at the sky and the stars that the onset of night begins to reveal.

"What do you mean?" she asks, turning on her side to look at him.

"It was last year," Lando starts, as she furrows her brows, completely lost.

"I'm not sure I understand," she replies, confused. "I've seen you in pictures... But this is the first time we meet."

"Alice's birthday, in London," the driver specifies, and she dives into her thoughts, trying to rewind time. "You were wearing a black dress. Backless."

"I... I remember the birthday, and the dress," she begins. "But I don't remember you. Well, I remember Alice saying you had something come up," she continues, lost.

"I had a work function, couldn't get away. But I still stopped by, dropped off Alice's gift," he explains.

"I'm sorry, Lando," she says, embarrassed. "I don't remember seeing you."

"We crossed paths in one of the hallways of the bar. You were leaning against a wall, talking to someone... Jeff? Greg?" he says, closing his eyes as if trying to remember.

"Jeff? My boyfriend at the time?"

"Yes, that was him. You two were arguing about something, I can't remember what. The tone started to escalate, and you walked off towards the restroom."

"I remember that."

"I found myself in front of Jeff, and I told him, "You shouldn't argue with a pretty girl like that. She deserves better". He told me to fuck off, to mind my business, and left," he recalls, laughing.

"Wow, I had no idea," she says. "Him and I broke up like, four months after that anyway."

"I know. Alice told me."

"Why would she tell you that? It must not be of much interest to you."

"I'd mentioned to her that I found you beautiful. In fact, to be honest, I think I said you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen," the driver says. "So one morning, she texted me. Said something like... "She broke up with Jeff. Time to grow a pair."

"Wow," she says, laughing in shock. "I didn’t know that."

Silence falls. Neither speaks for several seconds. He, wondering if he's said too much. Her, wondering what she should conclude from the driver's words.

"So..." she starts. "When Alice told me that she had planned a blind date..."

"It was my idea," he says, meeting her eyes. "But we couldn't say that."

"Oh, my god," she says, laughing again. "I can't believe you two."

A particularly turbulent wave crashes at their feet, making them yelp and quickly stand up. They're suddenly face to face. Wrapped in a heavy silence. One that cannot last.

"So you did, then," she finally says.

"What?"

"You grew a pair," she replies as he bursts out laughing.

"You're not angry at me, are you?" he asks, taking a step forward.

"I'm... quite surprised, I won't lie. But I'm not angry, no. I've never had a first date like this," she confesses. "I've never felt so listened to, so understood... In so little time. It started off badly, and yet you... you made me feel like I could be myself."

"You can," Lando says, taking her hand. "That's all I want."

"Will you think I'm moving too fast if I kiss you?" she suddenly asks.

"No," he says, coming closer until their breaths meet. "I won't."

#f1 #f1 2024 #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 #lando norris #lando norris x you #lando norris x reader #mclaren f1 #mclaren

[oracle-of-dream]

Sweetness #4

Minors DNI

Summary: This is a continuation of Sweetness #3, you catch Shotaro with his pants down. It's only right that you help him pull them up, right?

Warnings: Male Reader, Handjob, Multiple Orgasms, Unprotected Sex, Riding, Biting, Praise Kink, Hella Good Boys, Shotaro is a people pleaser

Wordcount: 2k

You spent the night exhausted but well-satisfied with the lovely treatment you'd been getting from your friends. There was a tinge of guilt that you felt about fucking your friends, but in the end, everyone was consenting–so no harm was really being done. Sungchan, Anton, Eunseok, and Seunghan all approached you for sex. Some think you were hypnotized into it, which just made it sexier for you. Seeing how they'd treat you when they thought they could make you do anything. Listening to their voices, and seeing their faces, all to slowly make them realize you were aware the whole time made it all the sweeter. Why not try and go for all seven at this rate?

You thought about what Seunghan told you last night. Shotaro and Sohee would be the most difficult to have sex with because of how polite they were... And Wonbin wouldn't be tricked by you since he already knew your plans. You needed a plan of attack for the three of them, and the snowstorm would give you the perfect time to plan it all out. Between the two of them, Shotaro seemed like the next best target. Sohee had been nervous around you since Riize had their meeting about you last night, maybe to avoid spilling the secret to you.

It was early in the morning when you got out of bed. Maybe 5 AM–whatever time, you needed to use the bathroom now. You crept out of your assigned room, down the hall, to the bathroom. You could hear Sungchan snoring and Anton groaning in their sleep. It was probably a part of their punishment that they had to sleep in the living room to let the others sleep in their beds. 

As you got to the bathroom, you noticed the light was on. The only other bathroom was across the apartment–and you didn't want to walk that far. More interestingly, you heard something come from inside the bathroom... a voice?

Your voice!

You peeked under the door, trying to see without getting caught. You saw Shotaro sitting on the toilet, stroking his hard cock while watching a video on his phone. As you listened closer, it was your voice playing from his phone. But you didn't recognize where... Until you heard yourself say, "I love you, Sungchannie..."

 Shotaro recorded it when you gave Sungchan a blowjob!? He must've–unless someone else did. And he was jerking off to a video of you, probably wishing that it was him in Sungchan's place. You smiled to yourself. Why not give Shotaro his wish?

You stood up, messing with your hair a bit–looking like you'd just woken up. Then let out a deep breath before entering the bathroom while you rubbed your eyes. You could see Shotaro jump as the door opened but pretended not to notice. You turned on the faucet and started washing your face.

"Y-Y/n! I'm here!" Shotaro whispered loudly at you.

You put a towel over your face to dry it off. "Huh?" You got a better look at him after washing your face. He was red in the ears, his pants around his ankles, and a look of embarrassment all over his face while he covered his dick with his sweatshirt. He also turned off his phone so you couldn't see anything he was watching. "Relax Sho, we're all guys. It's not like you're doing anything bad..."

"You should knock!"

"You should lock the door!" You turned and locked the door, trapping you inside the small room. "See? Easy. Now just pretend I'm not here." Shotaro didn't know what to do with you in front of him. His mouth tried to form words, not knowing what to say. You look at him again, the way his lips parted cutely made you want him more. "Shotaro, it's not that bad with me here, right? You must hate me..."

Shotaro shook his head. "N-No, it's not you! It's me, I'm just a private."

"We're close, aren't we? We should be comfortable." You walk to him, leaning against the wall before him, leaving him nowhere to go. "Am I making you uncomfortable? I've always been the most comfortable with you."

"No! It's just that I didn't think you'd barge in here. I was caught off guard." You could see the print of his cock twitching against his sweatshirt. He was thinking about you, what he could do to you. He just needed to do it!

"Since we're so comfortable, can I ask you a question? You can say no if it's too weird?" You asked.

"Sure! Anything!"

You tried to think of something to get the ball rolling, but nothing good came to mind. "How big is your dick? I'm kinda curious how I measure."

"My huh–"

"Too weird? If you're shy, I can share first!"

"Share!?" You nodded as you unknotted your shorts, dropping them and your underwear together. Shotaro used both hands to cover his eyes from seeing you expose yourself but also released his cock. It sprang free from its fabric prison, jumping for joy as it pointed toward you. You took action immediately, grabbing it.

"Whoa! You're so huge!" Shotaro stifled a moan as you touched him curiously. You teased him as you let your cold hands run across him, faintly stroking it. "It's like seven inches, right?"

"Seven and a half," He whispered, keeping his face covered. He was so cute, too embarrassed to look at you but so needy that he wouldn't stop you from touching him.

"Really? It doesn't look like that much," You say as you watch him closely, still touching him.

"Y-Y/n, can you not squeeze it?"

"Why not? It's cute!" You squeezed his cock, making an actual moan slip out. You take your hand off him. "Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't mean–"

"Sweetness," Shotaro muttered. "Please, help me cum." He took his hands off his face, looking at your face as you played your part. You placed your hand around his cock again, earning a welcoming moan. Stroking him with intent this time made it so much more different for him. You squeezed when you moved up and released as you went down, changing the pattern every few strokes. Shotaro watched you work him over, his hands gripping his thighs tightly. You couldn't help but giggle watching him. The way his abs flexed from his hips bucking up gently, his head falling back and his eyes shut as he enjoyed your touch. Now for the best part...

"You're so cute, Sho. Even your cock is adorable..."

Shotaro's eyes shot open as his head snapped to you. "Say that again?"

"You're. So. Cute. Shotaro." Shotaro's brain registered the situation but his body couldn't care less. The boy of his dreams was stroking him into heaven while praising him, it couldn't get any better! "You're so cute, I can't wait to ride you, pretty boy."

"R-Ride?" Shotaro's voice trembled.

You nodded playfully. "You'll let me ride you, right?"

He nodded furiously. "Whatever you want. Use me, please. However you want me, just please touch me."

You straddled him. "Sure, I'll ride you until I'm satisfied. No matter how many times you cum..."

Shotaro shuddered. "O-Okay."

You lined yourself with his cock. "Look at me while I do it. No hiding." Shotaro forced himself to look at you as you sank onto him. The way his eyes lost focus, you knew he was close, you needed him inside you before he came. "Sho, are you still with me?"

He nodded, moaning a "yes."

"I need you to hold me tightly, and push up into me. Can you do that? If you do, I'll praise you so much." Shotaro didn't need to be told twice. He was the one who seemed hypnotized by the way his hands gripped your hips. He shifted so only the tips of your toes were on the floor, almost lifting you, as he pushed his cock completely into you.

"You're so warm..." Shotaro's body shook as he tried to hold himself together.

"Cumming?"

He nodded. "Do I pull out?"

"No, baby. Your reward for listening so well, you can cum in me. Since you're my good boy." As soon as Shotaro heard "good boy" come from your lips, describing him, he pulled you in close as he convulsed in pleasure. His orgasm made his body tense and relax rapidly as each wave passed through him and shot into you. You waited for him to calm down, his head hiding in your neck as he sobbed into your skin.

"I've never cum that hard..."

You giggled. "We're not done yet. I haven't cum yet..." You could feel his cock twitch inside you, ready for more even after just finishing. "I want you to slide me on your cock like a fleshlight. Can you do that? Shotaro kept trying to collect himself, too tired to answer. "Or maybe I'll ask Sungchan to do it, his cock is huge and I know he's strong enough."

Like a fish on a hook, Shotaro took the bait and tightened his grip on you. "Don't leave. Please. I'm not done either, please let me make you happy." You rolled your hips, signaling what you were waiting for. He lifted you by your ass as you stabilized yourself on his shoulders. "Just hit me if I'm doing it too hard."

"Too hard? What–"

Shotaro gave you no time to ask for clarity as he slammed you down, also thrusting up to meet with your hips. You saw a flash of white as he punched your prostate. Your body vibrated as Shotaro fucked up, rolling his hips with precision and sharpness–just as you'd expect from him. He was more focused than Anton, but not as rough as Seunghan and Eunseok. He was considerate but gave you what you asked for. His cock wasn't as big as Sungchan's but the way he used it made it irrelevant. He had you melting in his hands in only the first few thrusts.

"Oh, fuck! That's it, baby! Keep doing that–good boy!" You moaned as you bit into his neck.

Shotaro used one arm to hold you, his hips continued to thrust into you, and the other cradled your head gently. "It's okay, bite harder, I can take it."

Your eyes rolled back as you bit down more on his neck. It would leave a mark but that was a problem for you to worry about. The cock was that destroying you was driving you up a wall and biting Shotaro was the only thing stopping you from screaming his name

"I'm gonna cum again. Inside you. I love–" You kissed Shotaro as you felt him finish inside you for the second time that morning, you came at the same time–spraying cum all over your lap.

"I know you love me, Shotaro," You whispered, pulling in for a second kiss.

Once you calmed down from your orgasms, the pain in your legs started sinking in. Shotaro was able to lift you off him with minimal pain and placed you on the toilet. "About what I said, I didn't mean to..."

"Don't worry about it." You felt warm, and not just from the cum leaking out of you. Your heart fluttered from hearing Shotaro confess to you. You knew it was likely that each member had a thing for you, but you never thought about it deeply before... "Can you stay with me? And help me back to bed?"

Shotaro nodded, smiling up at you as he sat on the floor. He cleaned your body before carrying you on his back to your room. "Have a good night, y/n. I hope that your plan goes the way you want it to. And I'll keep your secret... It's only fair you get something over us after we took advantage of you." The look on Shotaro's face told you more than he said. He didn't like you fucking the other members, but if it made you happy to get your revenge then he'd play along for as long as you'd want. "Before I go... Do you think that you could ever date one of us? After this is over?"

You replied softly, "Maybe... I'd need to think about it."

Shotaro's smile crept back onto his face, a glimmer of hope for him. "Good night, y/n. I'll see you in the morning." Shotaro rushed out of the room, closing the door behind him, leaving you to drift off to sleep with thoughts in your mind...

#oracle of dreams #kpop x male reader #kpop x male reader smut #x male reader #kpop male reader #x reader #x male smut #riize shotaro #riize #riize x reader #riize smut #shotaro #shotaro riize #shotaro smut #shotaro x reader

[notbecauseofvictories]

Longtime follower and I love seeing your insights, so wondered if you had thoughts or advice on this:

I live alone and I'm not in a relationship, though I do date. I'd say ninety percent of the time I really enjoy my life, seven percent I'm a bit sad or annoyed about not having a partner yet, and three percent I get tossed into the Pit of Despair. That three percent can be tied into hormonal cycles, bad timing, etc - even when I know the cause, it still needs to be lived through. Has that happened with you? If so, how do you manage it? I do okay, but it feels like I could do better.

Ah, but the Pit of Despair and I are best friends now. I've sent pictures from the Pit, all featuring me with an absolutely humorless, rictus grin, which does make me wonder why no one else has noticed yet. I have a timeshare in the Pit of Despair. I spend some time there every six months or so, standing in the middle of my impossibly overgrown, dingy garden, and thinking to myself, how did I get here? how do I get out?

And then, as though endurance isn't enough...then your timeshare in the Pit ends. You emerge in the daylight and immediately forget how grey and hopeless that garden was, the weirdly stained, collapsing furniture in the corner and the crooked yellowing plants and that mean laughter you could sometimes hear over the sounds of waving grass. You think to yourself: that will never happen again! I am free! I am cured!

(This will feel so much worse, the next time you're shoved back into the stupid garden.)

That said, I don't think you're going to like my answer to your next question. This is because I don't like my answer; unfortunately, it remains the only answer I have to this question.

I think having some unsettled sorrow, just a touch of existential despair, is the best we can hope to do in this life.

I think that with both rueful humor and deep, deep disgust, which is typically the combo I bring to musings about being a person. Of course it's a little funny---look at the monkey, it's got anxiety!---and of course it's also frustrating, unspeakable outside of bitter cursing, a problem that will not be fixed because quite frankly it's built too deeply into us to be cut out cleanly and thrown away.

(Look at the fucking monkey, you can tell yourself through gritted teeth, standing in that horrible garden with weeks of dirty dishes in the sink and an inbox of emails and friends blowing up your phone with plans you hate to even think about. It's got anxiety.)

I do not have a cure for this. I manage it with the same sort of humor and ruefulness and bitterness that I mentioned above---I don't beat myself up anymore, when I realize I'm standing in the horrible garden again. I know it too well. Sometimes it has an okay wifi connection? I watch some movies. I get done what I can, and forgive myself the rest. I have been here before; I will get out again. I just need to be patient.

Once I'm out, there will be a whole world, I know there will---full of music I haven't heard before and stories that won't make me cringe and emails I will respond to with ease and conversations where I can be light, amusing even. There is a world beyond the Pit. There is always a world beyond the Pit, I just can't find my way back sometimes.

In the meantime, I take another terrible picture in front of the stained furniture, and caption it "Hello from the Pit!!!" with a bunch of exclamation points to indicate that it's a joke, even though it isn't.

I wait.

#there is no experience of being human without suffering. even the most blessed happy person you know suffers. #so the question becomes: how do you fit suffering inside of you. how do you deal with it. #I sit in a horrible garden and pretend not to listen to the weird disembodied laughter #knowing that this too shall pass. #it will suck in the interim! but it will pass. #sarah gives advice

[oneofstarkskids]

don't say that (part 3)

part 1 , part 2

pairings: bucky barnes x reader

genre: ANGST

summary: sad, beautiful, tragic by taylor swift

*not my gif*

you walked down the cold street with a note buried deep in your pocket. it held all the words you wanted to say, but didn't. you could only hope that it wasn't too late.

you knocked on the door softly, your heart racing. the locks clicked one by one from the other side until it finally swung open. "hi," you whispered.

the red-head looked down, she didn't know what to say to you. she preferred not to say anything at all.

"i know you probably don't ever want to see me again and so do with this what you will, but i had to get it off my chest." you handed her the slightly crumpled letter. you gave her a hopeful smile. one that simultaneously felt like a goodbye.

with that, you walked away. natasha didn't read the letter until you left and you didn't look back. maybe you would never know if she could forgive you, but you would wait.

you go back to your empty apartment. you would honestly rather be anywhere but here. as you look around, the memories those walls held seem to come to life right in front of you. you almost didn't notice the hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

the way you'd laugh as he spun you around or kissed on countertops. it felt tragic to think about. you often wondered...if things had begun differently, would you have had your happy ending?

it didn't seem to matter anymore. he was gone. you didn't even know where. maybe steve had mentioned him staying with him for a while, but it all felt like a blur. you didn't care where he was if he wasn't here with you.

you cursed yourself for thinking that way. this is for the best, you reminded yourself. but time was sure taking its sweet time erasing him.

your mind wandered back to that night. the night you freaked out on him. the night he left. your hand went up to your heart, trying to hold it together. he probably hated you now. natasha hated you. your friends would never see you the same. and you deserved all of it.

but just for a moment, you had it. the kind of love they say is like magic. the kind that makes your head spin. it really was just the two of you in your own world before that world fell apart.

he called you. just once. you answered, of course.

it ended in a fight.

"just come back home," you begged.

"you wanted space. i'm giving you space," he said harshly.

you rolled your eyes, "you're the one who called me."

"because i still fucking love you. not everyone can just fall out of love at the flip of a switch," he shouted on the other end.

you squeezed your eyes closed as your voice shook, "i never stopped loving you. i never said that."

he continued talking like your words meant nothing to him, "you didn't have to."

"oh my god! would you just try to listen for once!" you cried.

there was a long silence between the two of you.

you took a deep breath and mustered the strength to do what needed to be done. "goodbye, bucky."

he heard a final beep and clenched his jaw as tears pricked his eyes.

it was over.

but then again, how could something be gone if it never existed in the first place?

taglist:

@immyowndefender @ozwriterchick @vicmc624 @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer

#marvel #mcu #fanfiction #avengers #bucky barnes #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes angst #sad fic #taylor swift #sad beautiful tragic #bucky barnes x reader

[lostinforestbound]

Inspired by @slumpsnail 's piece of their Dark Rolan concept! Check out their other piece here!

The Rise or The Downfall of a Wizard's Apprentice?

CW: Blood, Death, Description of Breakdown

The first emotion was shock. Rolan couldn't move from his place on his knees as he watched his master clinging to whatever life he had left. His hands are stained red, settled on his lap while Lorroakan crawls to him, his own blood seeping onto the floor in rapid speed. Rolan can't recall what he did exactly, but it was during one of his usual beatings. Something about being a "failure" and "an idiot who deserved everything he gave to him". The memory is fuzzy now, he didn't even realize he stopped shaking from fear.

Lorroakan doesn't say anything, not that he could from the pain, but he looks fearful. A fear of death, perhaps? What a coward.

His mouth spits blood out, and he looks ready to beg. For mercy, Rolan hopes, because how humiliating would that be, for a master to beg for his life from his student?

His mentor doesn't get the chance before he stops moving, the life leaving his eyes, wide with a permanent terror. Rolan wonders if he's going to one of the Hells, his soul forever tortured.

After the initial shock dies down, he runs his hands down his face, uncaring of the blood trail he leaves on his bruised cheekbones as his eyes shine with glee. He killed Lorroakan, the Lorroakan, and yet he felt nothing but pure joy. Is this how Tav feels when they kill someone they hate? This addicting satisfaction that makes his blood rush with adrenaline?

By the gods, is he going insane? He can't find it in his heart to care, so he laughs.

He laughs and laughs, loud and prominent, echoing in the stillness of the room. What a fool he has been. Was it always this easy to kill someone? Does it matter now? It felt so fucking good. Even as he calms, his happiness still remains. In all honesty, he thought he could have died here. When he first struck his master, it was out of terror. He was going to beat him again, and he pleaded for him to stop. It didn't work, and when his teacher's staff raised once more, he held out his hands and- Bursting into a new, quiet giggle fit, he rests his head on his still-wet hand, staring down at the body with a smile. "Oh how the mighty have fallen, Master Lorroakan. Though, you were not mighty to begin with."

A small part of his breaking mind is screaming at him, wondering what in the hells has he done? What would Cal and Lia think if they saw him now, practically bathing in his master's blood? What would their mother think? What would they think when they realized he it enjoyed it?

It doesn't matter, they're all dead, including the man he once was.

He gets up on surprisingly steady feet, leaning down and grabbing Lorroakan's hair by the scalp, beginning to drag it towards the balcony. "Master Lorroakan, do you believe in karma?"

There is no response, but it's not as if he was expecting one. The body's getting cold.

"I'm not talking about you, oh no, I'm talking about yours truly." He says casually, grip tight. "My parents abandoned me, and when I get adopted into another one, their mother dies. Then The Descent, where I saw prowling devils and undead roam the streets, tearing people apart. When we finally escape, we're exiled by Elturel, our only home. When we finally make our trek to Baldur's Gate from a grove that hated us, Cal and Lia are eaten alive by shadows."

He finally reaches the railing, leaning against it to rest briefly. "Then, when I eagerly arrive to you with nothing, you beat me for saying the wrong answers to nonsensical questions. Yet look at you now."

Lifting the head to his face, he grins happily as he stares into the lifeless eyes of his mentor. "Master, I believe karma is finally on my side, after all this time. This tower is mine now," he snorts, trying not to laugh again, "I suppose I should thank you! None of this would have happened if it weren't for your weakness."

He picks up the body proper now, getting closer to the railing. "Goodbye, Master. I'm sure there's a special place in the afterlife, just for you."

Without thinking twice on it, he throws Lorroakan's body off the edge, watching it fall down the edge of the tower. He can't see the bottom from here, but he can't only imagine the body mangling as soon as it hits the ground. The people down below probably won't recognize who it is, but that doesn't matter.

All of this knowledge in the tower he now has access to, but where to start? He should probably clean all the blood but...no, he'll keep the stains there for a while longer, as a reminder of one of his greatest achievements.

A spineless wretch is what Lorroakan was. A pathetic, greedy human who wanted to keep this almost infinite knowledge and artifacts all to himself. Now it was all Rolan's, the new master of Ramazith's tower.

Master Rolan has a good ring to it, and he's too excited to get started on his infinite studies.

That's when he notices that dwarven man in the corner of the red stained room, shaking like a leaf. Another apprentice under Lorroakan. He saw everything. What was his name again? Ah, well...

He fires his magic missile in an instant, killing the man from where he stood with the brightest smile he's ever had in many years.

There cannot be witnesses, now can there?

#forest-writes #rolan #bg3 rolan #holy rolan empire #rolan bg3 #dark!rolan #rolanites

[mcflymemes]

GONE GIRL (2014) PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

what are you thinking? how are you feeling? what have we done to each other?

i felt i needed to shoot something.

we've never fucked in a bookstore.

you know i have to kiss you now.

sometimes i want to punch us in the face, we're so cute.

when you're upset, you bottle up.

brought you a present.

i need you. now. touch me.

that's very sweet of you and very unnecessary.

pour me a bourbon, would you?

it's a bad day.

i'm so crazy, stupid happy.

i met a boy. a great, gorgeous, sweet, cool-ass guy.

things could get ugly.

whose beer am i drinking?

i prefer men who are funny, not "funny."

i'm the guy to save you from all this awesomeness.

it's hard to believe you. i think it's your chin.

you are way too into that cat.

tell me how it ends.

i'm not someone who hits the panic button, but... it's weird, right?

you mind if we look around?

so what do you do now? for work.

perfect, time for a quick tour of my failings.

i love your parents, but they can be assholes.

people want to hear from you.

i thought that'd be embarrassing.

i am here on a strictly journalistic capacity.

[name], you are beyond amazing. you are incredibly smart but entirely unsnobby. you are kind, but never a martyr.

you surprise me. you challenge me.

isn't it time we fixed that?

we're going to take this very, very seriously.

i go there for the quiet.

we're still not sure what we're dealing with.

please don't take that tone with me.

everyone told us... and told us and told us... marriage is hard work.

technically we're supposed to fuck at the next stop.

books, sex, bourbon... life is good.

i knew you shouldn't have moved back here.

maybe i'll teach you a thing or two.

i'm a little drunk.

let's swear we will never be like them.

everything else is background noise.

why are you throwing that in my face again?

it's like you're daring me to be someone i don't want to be.

i'm not that person. i'm your wife.

suddenly i knew everything was about to get worse.

i'm asking you nicely.

everyone is projecting their shit onto me.

i feel like i could disappear.

i've been so worried about you.

i don't want to fight. i just want to be with you. that's all i want.

you fucking lied to my fucking face.

for valentine's day, i thought i'd buy a gun.

you have to fucking talk to me!

i'm not going to be scared anymore.

this man of mine may kill me.

men always use that as the defining compliment, don't they? she's a cool girl.

i will admit. for someone who likes to win, it's tempting to be the girl every guy wants.

we were happy pretending to be other people.

i need to show you something.

see we have the same taste in men.

you're reading it again? you know how it ends.

whatever the hell they found, we have to assume it's very bad.

everyone would hate me.

why are you so good to me?

my defense is the truth.

i've never seen it in my life.

i feel myself fading.

i just said what you wanted to hear.

take off your clothes.

i'm a fighter. i fought my way back to you.

kiss my cheek.

you're not at risk anymore.

you know you can sleep with me, right?

we should hold hands.

you called me a murderer.

i haven't touched you.

i've killed for you.

#rp meme #mcflymemes #rp memes #rp prompt #roleplay memes #roleplay prompt #rp starters #ask meme #ask memes #roleplay meme #roleplay inbox prompts #rp inbox meme #inbox prompt #inbox meme #sentence starter prompt #sentence starter #sentence starters #gone girl #dramatic prompts

[ncsdlr]

Sharing is Not Caring - N.R.

Word Count: 3145

Warnings: being tied up to a chair, degradation, aftercare, spanking, paddle use, restraints, sub!nat, dom!reader

Pairings: Natsha Romanoff x Reader

A/N: This has been rotting in my wattpad drafts fr. It's been I think a year since I wrote this, and I have posted it. I'm trying to clear our my drafts, so you should be expecting a lot of activity from me. Also this is pure smut so....

-------------------

A loud slap echoed in the spacious room where Natasha sat tied to a chair in nothing but her undergarments. The woman standing in front of Natasha at the moment is you.

Y/N Y/L/N. Her beloved.

"Y/N, don't you think you're overreacting a little here?"

"Oh, I'm not overreacting." You grinned at her, looking her right in the eye. "You see, this is what happens when you go around town with another woman and act like a fucking prostitute."

You gently reached forward and grabbed a tight hold of Natasha's hair in the back of her head. "You have anything to say for yourself, honey?"

"Y/N, please. This is all just a misunderstanding. Besides, I'm allowed to have fun with my friends and you doing all this stuff just because of it is making you look selfish."

Within the snap of a finger, you smacked Natasha across the face repeatedly, the force of it all strong enough to make you almost lose the grip you had on her hair. Her cheek was heating up rather quickly with the blood rushing to the spot you would repeatedly hit her which, in this case, was on both sides of her beautiful face. Natasha was panting when you stopped hitting her, so she rushed to speak before you got the chance to continue, but you just had to be a quick little shit and beat her to it.

"Don't call me selfish. I hate sharing, and you know that yet you proceeded to whore yourself out to Maria Hill in front of the world. So now, what we're going to do here is punish you. For all the horrible things you've done to my tattered heart."

You walked away from Natasha, moving to a drawer at the far end of the room. You reached inside the drawer and plucked out a variety of instruments you planned to use on your girlfriend. You could have sworn you heard Natasha whimper. You turned back to Natasha, a faint evil grin present on your face. Natasha was squirming in her seat at the vibrator in your hands.

You were now standing in front of her, a wide smirk settled on your face, thus scaring the shit out of Natasha a hell lot more, which caused her to begin her pleading. "Maria's just a friend, please, you don't have to do this."

"You're pathetic." You pulled her hips towards you and placed the vibrator on her wet core, moving up and down her cunt, the woman panting out heavily in surprise.

"Are you sorry, Natasha?" You turned the vibrator up a higher to a higher setting and stopped moving it, now keeping it still on her clit. Natasha could not speak, then you heard the loudest moan slip past her lips when you pressed the vibrator harder on her clit just right. It was always like this when the two of you had sex. Whatever kind of sex you were having, the infamous Black Widow would be dumbed down into nothing all because of you. Natasha can and would swear that you had godly powers with the way you always fucked her dumb.

"You realize this is all your fault, don't you? You could have avoided all of this if you had just acted normally and not the slut you're only allowed to be when you're with me."

When you harshly pulled her hair back to husk in her ear, Natasha's eyes were mid-rolling to the back of her head, thus making the woman gasp aloud. "You're such a stupid whore, Natasha." You knew your words were falling on deaf ears, but you still proceeded to talk just to be able to reprimand the redhead later. "This feels so good for you, doesn't it? Or are you just not as bright as you were earlier, and that's why you're not talking back now?"

All Natasha could do was breathily moan in your face, too high on pleasure to respond to you with even a single nod. Natasha could barely even catch her breath, so the fact that you were expecting so much of her right now was so unfair to her. I mean, how do you even expect her to respond when you know how your words alone affect her?

"You're being very disrespectful, Natasha. I've asked you three questions, yet you haven't answered at least one of them. You don't want me to prolong your punishment, do you?" That caused the woman you loved's eyes to widen, the fear of you going through with your threats shining through her blown-out green eyes.

"No, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" Natasha rushed to speak, albiet sounding drunk, finally getting the least bit of control over her muddled mind.

You grinned, "That's what I thought, little girl, but if you really are sorry, you would answer all my questions." As you spoke, you were very rudely interrupted by the woman of your dreams warning you of the coil in her stomach nearly snapping.

"I'm so close."

"No." You pulled the vibrator away from Natasha's core and listened to her loudly whimper out a 'No'  at the loss of pleasure. "If I were to let you cum, who would you be cumming for? Are you cumming for Maria Hill," You pressed the vibrator back onto Natasha's cunt only to pull it away again upon continuing, "Or me?"

Natasha was whining, panting, and moaning like a bitch in her seat whilst you repeated the action of putting the vibrator directly on her clit and then taking it all away. Your eyes focused on her face, watching as it went through shock, pleasure, then frustration. In your focus and intense eye contact with Natasha, the woman was not able to form a single thought in her head, her mind being clouded by all three of the results your actions gave her.

You would watch her face contort for the 10 seconds where you held the vibrator against her, then listen to her huff angrily at you and your ministrations - but mostly you. You were mesmerized by the beauty of your lover, so much so that you rewarded her beauty by pressing the vibrator on her clit once more, this time not intending to take it all away at the last second. You watched as she gasped, her eyes fluttering close but fighting herself to keep them open, although somewhat futile. "God, you're so pretty, Natty."

Your soft gaze made her melt, and your faint smirk at it told her you were enjoying her little reactions. "Answer my last question, baby. Would you be cumming for me or your beloved Maria Hill?"

"Only you, Y/N. Only you- Oh, please let me cum, Daddy!" Natasha continued to babble out her pleas, not noticing how you had let go of her hair and was now kneeling in between her smooth thighs. Natasha jerked back and moaned, throwing her head back in the process when you started licking at her tasty cunt all whilst still holding the vibrator against her. 

Natasha stuttered in her moans, her fists bleeding white from being clenched so hard behind her back. Her eyes were tightly closed, and her teeth were firmly pressed together, trying her hardest to spit out a warning before she exploded on your face. But through all her hard work, she still could not get a single word out of her mouth, only breathy stuttered moans, gasps, and pathetic whimpered pleas. 

Natasha could hardly breathe, and when your tongue wiggled around that rough spot within her, her tether broke, her juices spilling all over your mouth and your nose, and even the vibrator that was still firmly pressed against her sensitive core. Natasha was breathing heavily, trying to regain control of her senses, only for you to take her breath away again with a bruising kiss. 

Everything was going well during the kiss, excluding the burning feeling Natasha felt in her chest at the lack of much-needed oxygen. It was only when the redhead felt a harsh slap come in contact with her face, thus breaking the kiss, did she suddenly yelped out. "I haven't allowed you to cum yet, have I?"

Natasha was near sobbing when you started undoing her restraints, already preparing to lose her dignity just to beg for your forgiveness, but then you pulled her up suddenly, carrying her nearly limp form over your shoulder, and guided her to lay down on the perfectly made bed you shared with her. Again, Natasha was going to speak up, but just like the last time, you'd interrupted her again with a ball gag in her mouth, and that was the moment she deemed you to be her worst enemy.

"Oh, Natasha. You really should know better." You walked around the bed just for dramatic purposes and collected a few more items to use on your gorgeous lover. "I thought you would be brighter than this, being a trained super spy and all." You were fastening the harness of your large strap around your hips, keeping your eyes locked onto Natasha, watching as she whimpered around her ball gag with tears cascading down her pretty face. 

You truly were in awe of her. The beauty she possessed was, in your opinion, unmatched by every single person you'd ever come across. You collected a variety of restraints and tightly tied her to the bed like the letter 'A'. You secured a lengthy leg spreader around Natasha's ankles and grabbed both of her hands to tie them above her head on the velvety headboard.

Natasha's eyes watched you move around the room, watching on as you thought over what you planned to do to her. The possibilities were endless, and so she feared she would not make it out of this alive. I mean her pussy sure isn't. What Natasha feared the most about you doing to her was edging her. She loved it when you edged her, but only to an extent. The thought of you building her up to where she was about to bust only for you to take it all away terrified her even more than your harsh slaps ever had. 

To say Natasha was shocked at your statement would be a huge understatement. Your soft tone threw her off even more, and when you smiled at her gently, her brows couldn't help but come together and form a crease as they met. "I'm allowing you to cum, Natasha. You can cum whenever you feel like it just remember your safe word."

That couldn't be just it, there had to be a catch, but all her thoughts went back to being mush when you ran the tip of your silicone cock through her slit, collecting the juices that had pooled there. Then when you pushed yourself into her soaking cunt, her mind was further melted into a puddle sloshing around in her skull. Your pace was tough, causing her legs to tighten around you- well, as much as the leg spreader allowed. 

Natasha was moaning wildly beneath you, writhing and nearly trembling at the speed of your hard thrusts. Her hands were sore, but not sore enough for her attention to be on it. Natasha tried speaking, but all that was heard were the jumbled pronunciation of her words

Good thing you were equipped with the skill to translate her muffled words. "You gonna cum, baby? You gonna give me all that this slutty pussy can?"

Natasha nodded furiously, her hips rising from the bed with much restraint. She could barely move, but the high she was chasing was enough of an inspiration for her to try gyrating her hips up to yours.

"Cum whenever you like, my whore. If it gets too much, you can always use your safe words."

If your dirty words were any indication that you were planning something epic, Natasha wouldn't have known thanks to the blinding white light that flooded her field of vision when she came. By god, you could swear that her face when she came was that of goddesses'.

"Oh, my darling, you're so beautiful." Your soft words were very stark contrasts to the continuation of your harsh pounding. Natasha didn't even have a minute to come down from her previous high before you were pushing her over another edge.

"Oh, fuck. Fuck!" You don't understand how that sounded very clear, but you were not complaining whatsoever. You could even say that you were impressed.

You stared into Natasha's shining eyes while you plowed her into the mattress. "You're such a fucking whore, Natasha. No wonder Hill was all over you when you decided to go out with her. You're disgusting. I mean, Look at you, the infamous Black Widow dumbed down to nothing by her meager partner."

Your words were enough to tip her over the edge of sweet release. Her legs shook around you while her moans sounded more stuttered and broken, nearing the kind of moans that sounded like sobbing. You stilled your hips, much to Natasha's relief, and pulled the ball gag out of her mouth.

Natasha gasped and heaved in the air. The woman barely even noticed when you pulled out of her, her brain being a little too fogged up to register anything.

Picking up the discarded vibrator from earlier, you pressed it firmly on Natasha's pussy, sliding it up and down her slit. The sound of her sticky arousal echoed around the room along with the incessant vibrator unleashing hell upon your precious woman's sweet cunt.

"Oh, god, Y/N, that feels so good!" Natasha had her eyes tightly shut with her mouth hanging open in a silent scream. Her next words were whispered pleas before she exploded all over the vibrator you held along with your forearm.

"You're doing so good, my princess." You coo'ed climbing off of Natasha just enough to reach the leg spreader attached to her ankles. You freed her feet, grabbing your woman by the back of her thighs only to flip her over onto her stomach.

"We aren't done yet?" You could've cackled at her question if not for the way her gaping cunt was distracting you. Instead of rudely mocking Natasha, you lightly chuckled through your nose, caressing her plump ass whilst also licking and biting at it.

"No, my darling, I'm not done with you yet." You smirked as you pulled away, moving to grab two paddles of the same size, placing them on top of Natasha's ass, using them to caress her skin. "You ready, baby?"

Natasha was panting into the pillow, writhing against the paddles on her bottom as she furrowed her eyebrows, "For what?"

You lifted one of the paddles and brought it back down harshly, making your lover yelp in surprise, watching how Natasha's ass rippled at the impact. "Oh, Daddy!"

You wanted her to be loud in any way possible. If you weren't known to get everything you wanted before, now you are. You brought the other paddle up and then down again much harder than the last. Then you lifted both paddles, bringing them back down with a force that made Natasha scream louder than she ever had before.

Your onslaught upon Natasha's ass was unrelenting, hitting her ass to sadistically watch her skin ripple at the force you were dealing with. You relished in the screams and moans she released, each one bringing waves of arousal to pool in your underwear.  the woman is now full-on sobbing, the pain and the pleasure blending in with each other deliciously within her. She was enjoying this just as much as you were, if not more. She loved it when you got all sadistic about her. It made her feel like she was living on the edge, and she was enjoying the breeze there. 

At the last strike you gave to Natasha's plump ass, her orgasm embarrassingly tore through her, getting past her holds and slipping through her sex. You could have laughed if you didn't have any self-control, but alas, the goodness in your tattered heart pounded through, causing you to feel the need to protect her. 

Now, with the heat of the moment subsiding, your goal shifted from punishing Natasha by making her feel what you felt when you saw her with Maria to shower her with the softest kisses known to man. You hushed your wailing lover, careful with your hands as you pulled the restraint from her reddened wrists.

"Hush, my darling. It's all over now." You planted a small kiss on the top of her head before moving off of your shared bed. "Let me grab a soothing cream for your butt, baby, don't move."

As you gathered what you needed from the bathroom, Natasha used that small bit of alone time to actually think of what she'd done. She reprimanded herself for completely leaving you alone at the party you came to together and ditching you for some other girl.

Truly, her interaction with Maria was nothing more than friendly. They shared talks of their respective life partners and what they've been up to recently, nothing scandalous at all. But now that she'd been punished, she could see how that may have looked from a non-participant-of-the-conversation's point of view. Now that she'd been punished, she felt bad for what she may have made you feel.

Safe to say, she learned her lesson.

A gasp tore through her throat at the cold sensation that rippled across the bruised skin of her bum. "It's okay, hun, it's just a bit of cream." And as you continued to work on her, wiping her down and all that, you spoke, "You took your punishment so well, baby. Have you learned your lesson? Do you understand why you were punished?"

"Yes, Daddy." Natasha responded.

"Tell me why I punished you." It was a soft command, but natasha shivered at it either way, and she shamed herself for it.

"Because I hurt you at the party. I wasn't paying attention to you." You hummed as she listed what she thought could be part of the reason you punished her, then she followed up with, "I'm sorry."

"Ah, it's okay, honey. It's a lesson learned." With a kiss to her now exposed collarbone, you finished up with cleaning and getting Natasha ready for bed. "You're all done now. Get some rest, Natty, we can talk about this more in the morning over some breakfast."

With a content smile and a warm feeling spreading through her chest, Natasha laid her head on your shoulder right as you settled in next to her. She seemed your warmth just as you did hers, wrapping each other up in comfortable embraces and even stealing a few kisses here and there.

#mcu #marvel #avengers #natasha romanoff #lgbtq #a load of smut #natasha x reader #black widow #natasha x you #natasha x yn #natasha smut #scarlett johansson

[chansbabygirlsstuff]

Just a bet Chapter 10

Hey Baby girls

here is chapter 10 plz enjoy

your hand goes up to your lips and feeling the blood in your fingers makes you tremble

"I CAN'T STAND YOU EITHER, I HATE YOU, ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE, AND NO IT'S NOT MY FAULT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU!" you yell back tears streaming down your face

you never yelled back at him, so he was surprised, you left everything and ran towards your room and locked it, you looked at the clock, Chan was supposed to be here in 10 minutes

you called him

it rang once, anxiety crawled through your skin feeling unwell

it rang twice, and you could taste the metal liquid on your tongue

it rang three times, and tears started to stream down your face

"Hello?" he picked up

I try to breathe in to calm myself before talking  to him, but when I sucked in my runny nose provoking a sound

"Are you ok are you crying?" his voice sounds concerned.... shit at least someone is worried about you 

"I'm ok, I just think I won't be able to make it today," you say still cleaning up your wound  with toilet paper

"Why did something happen?" he sounded even more worried than before

" Don't worry it's just my dad again" you say but your voice breaks 

"Did he do something to you?" he asked seriously 

"No, don't worry about it, I just wanted to let you know so you don't have to come all the way here" you sniffle your nose 

"ok, I'm coming over"  he hangs up the phone 

shit.

What in the fucking world did he not understand about Do not come here, he is going to make things worst.

you sit on your bed; worried about something bad happening.

then you hear the doorbell, making a sound all around the quiet place you open your bedroom door to make your way to open the house door but you hear your father opening the door

"Who are you and what do you want?" he asks with an ugly attitude

"Hello Mr. L/n I'm here to take Y/n," Chan says but your father scoffs 

"Yeah, good luck with that one kid she is a total bitch and a whore" he rolls his eyes 

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about her like that" he smiles keeping his anger in him 

"I can say whatever the fuck I want about her," he says getting defensive and looking for a fight 

"ok sir" Chan tries not to start a fight, even if he wishes to punch his face 

"if you excuse me I need to go get her" he grinds his teeth and lets Chan in as he goes to the stairs, being his first guess as he didn't see any rooms on the first floor, but he stepped onto the stairs he finds you at the top making eye contact with you.

he gets closer and whispers so your father can't hear him "What happened?"

your eyes get teary as you make your way to your room where there is the light he follows behind 

he makes contact with your bruised lip and then looks at you 

"he was drunk and started talking down at me so I talked back and he hit me" You try to conceal your tears as you explain, getting nervous and embarrassed at the fact that he is here seeing you in such a terrible state.

way to go y/n, you made a fool of yourself and he probably thinks you're a-pick me for crying, but shit you can't hold it anymore.

 "ok pack your things, we are leaving this shit hole" he rubs his hands in his pants takes a big breath, and exhales deeply 

"what do you mean" You clean the tears that didn't succeed in staying in, your breath getting shaky

"We are going to my place for now but you need to leave this place and it's urgent," he says seriously 

"but.... my dad will be mad, he might find me and hit me more," you say getting scared as  he grabs your forearms which were shaking "Take a big breath for me ok?" you try to breathe looking everywhere but him, at his proximity with you

"everything is going to be fine, we are going to get out of here and then we will see what we can do ok" You look uncertainly "You are going to be safe" You nod and breathe again looking at him, tears trying to spill again but you hold it 

he lets go and starts looking around the place for necessary things" You have a suitcase?" he asks and you nod as you quickly move to your closet taking it out 

"ok pack your clothes and tell me if you need help taking something else but we need to be quick" You nod and take a smaller bag from your bathroom cabinets and give it to him

"you can help me pack my bathroom necessities if you want?" you ask feeling guilty for asking for help, he is already helping you too much by taking you to his place 

"of course let me do that" he goes to your connected bathroom which was a bit unorganized, but hey, life at a university is tough and you barely have time for yourself 

you start packing all your clothes trying to make them small so they can fit, but also working fast. On the other hand, Chan organizes the small bag with your soap, shampoo, and everything you have inside the shower, and then he takes your toothbrush and toothpaste, he then opens a cabinet in front of him and sees different types of pills, putting them all in your bag and finds a little basket with pads, also organizing them ion your little suitcase, thanking heavens all fit in perfectly he closed it making sure he isn't miss anything

you finish packing all your clothes and undies, and now you are looking for your shoes under your bed but Chan comes out of the bathroom "Everything is here, including your skincare and all your necessities so don't worry" he smiles and puts them in his backpack he brought in case of this happening 

after you got everything you closed your suitcase  and nodded to him, confirming that you were ready to go, he took the big bag and carried it to your bedroom door "This has to be quick and quiet so he doesn't see us" you nodded being scared for your life 

he holds the suitcase on his shoulder so he can see the stairs as you take the backpack and quietly make your way down.

he makes sure to look if he is not at the door before opening it as you both get out and head to the car he puts the luggage in the back seat to not make noise and gets to the passenger's seat  seeing you already buckled up, he starts the car and drives away

He drives away from the hell you have been condemned to your whole life 

Your lungs leave a breath you didn't know you were holding 

as you felt free

you felt new.

Heyy yall thanks for reading I swear chapters are going to be longer after chapter 13 love yall remember the tag list is open in the forms in my pinned post

Tag list : @stayceebs97 @foivestarrsketchez @salfetkablog @strayywayy

#skz angst #skz #bang chan angst #bang chan x reader #bang chan smut #skz smut #bang chan imagines #bang chan fluff #hyunjin smut #chan smut

[abearrt]

Listen I just went on a goddamn journey so now yaaay my art is better but I'm also crazier

Anyways here you have some obey me! redesigns because I love them but I hate how they're all otome pretty boys. So here are the three older brothers redesigns.

First born: Pride.

I think redesigning Luficer was the easiest thing I've ever done lol. I like his haircut but I hate how his color is red so I gave him the purple my boy deserved. I made him handsome and confident and gave him little baby feathers around his face and neck and gave him star-shaped pupils, and made sure his skin was perfec, the only flaw being the morningstar on his forehead. Idk I really like him.

Second born: Greed.

I'm still not sure about his haircut but I like this one so I guess it's okay. I like the purple hint on his og eyes but I really wish they really leaned in on the gold for him, gave him more earrings, piercings, and actual ethnic features. I wanted to make him pretty and give him piercing eyes w slit pupils. (The best part of his design it's not showing, but his fingertips, the inside of his mouth and his tears are all gold).

Third born: Envy.

My cute little boy, I just want him to be a weird little guy. He's the one I changed the most out of this bunch. I just really dislike how his og design is purple/orange?? envy is so naturally green, esp with his fish theme, so I really don't get why they didn't chose it for him. Leviathan (og demon) is literally a big fucking fish, so I wanted him to have a BIG fish vibe n face. I wanted him to be really ugly and fish-like, but for him to look like he's trying really hard to be cool n pretty (I love him sm plsss 🥺🥺) he's just a loser lol.

Anyways I will draw the rest of them, but maybe it'll take some time, so I hope you guys like my reading of these weird little guys <3

#art #digital art #fanart #anime art #anime #game #obey me fanart #mammon obey me #obey me mammon #obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #leviathan obey me #lucifer obey me #obey me art #lucifer fanart #leviathan fanart #redesign #obey me redesign #levi obey me #mammon fanart #take a shot everytime i said fish on levis part lol

[james-stark-the-writer]

sigh. alright. after 2 back to back soul-restoring movies in Cathy Yan and Christina Hodson's Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn and Dev Patel's Monkey Man, i feel like i'm ready for some pain. now seated for Wonder Woman 1984 (2020).

i've never seen it, i have never had any desire to, i heard it was really racist and maybe there's some non-con stuff here, but that's about all i know about it. i literally do not care about this movie, but i'm not going into it trying to hate it obviously, you all know i love art too much to do that. i am bracing for the worst (here's to hoping this is actually at least a movie unlike Suicide Squad (2016)? i can't do another Suicide Squad.) but i thought the first one was at least pretty entertaining and kind of well done (until the ending ruined every good thing about it) so here's to hoping this isn't entirely dogshit. if you're curious about my full thoughts on the first one, just look up Wonder Woman on my blog or like check my letterboxd, link in bio.

anyway, same disclaimers as last time apply: Free Palestine; for the duration of this watch, we will be pretending Gal Gadot is not who she is; no antisemitism will be tolerated. alright. let's fucking do this and get it over with so i can have some fun again after it with Gunn's The Suicide Squad.

#james talks #james watches stuff #wonder woman 1984 #wonder woman 1984 (2020) #patty jenkins #dceu

[utilitycaster]

As someone who has expressed that creators should be more hostile to fans (agreed), I am curious about your thoughts on this EXU interlude, now that it’s complete, as a creative move for the campaign. I was also disappointed in the timing, for sure, but I am also deeply annoyed at the fans who are still out here expecting significant changes to CR’s clear strategy of highlighting content outside of the main campaign and diversifying their programming. That this is being lumped in with “everything CR is doing outside of the main campaign like Candela and Midst and EXU is boring and bad" and seeing people be so incredibly frustrated that they dared bring in EXU stuff into the sacred space of the main campaign (something that should've been clear from ep 1 when three of the crown keepers were there) makes me want to defend the decision on principal, but I am torn on if this actually worked or not. Perhaps a few more episodes with Dorian back are needed to solidify an opinion, idk.

(And, FWIW, I don't care if this was a production need or not, nor do I buy that this was to give Sam more time on character creation, I think it was a very deliberate creative choice and should be judged as such).

Hi anon,

I find myself in a similar position:

I think people who act like every off week from the main campaign is an affront (especially when Critical Role usually is very clear in saying so, whether it's for Candela, for a one-shot, or for interruptions like the sick day character creation q&a) fucking suck. It's fine if Midst and Candela aren't your thing - I think they're both excellent but if you don't care for horror or if you have difficulty following podcasts, that's valid - but this is part of Critical Role's programming! I also agree that people who were salty that Fearne and Orym came from EXU are annoying, and I agree that this was a deliberate creative choice and should be judged as such.

I still think, ultimately, this wasn't very well done. The timing was particularly bad as I discussed before, but also, even if the timing were great, I don't like that it was a surprise. Not so much because I hate surprises, but actually I would have really appreciated some time to review the (non-Orym and Fearne) Crown Keepers, who, as a group in some capacity, last were the PCs of an adventure 2 years ago in real time. It's been a hot second. I personally have some difficulty re: investment in the Crown Keepers that I'm going to throw onto a different ask I received and to be honest I wonder if I'm not alone and this was something they anticipated and so did this specifically so that it was unavoidable (or at least, would require effort to avoid). So yeah I don't want to say that experimentation with the format is a bad thing - I want Critical Role to do new and different stuff - but I think as long as you're not shooting down every new choice it is okay to dislike elements of this one.

As for whether it worked: what I can say is I enjoy where the Crown Keepers' story ended but I'm also pretty okay with this being the end of them as a party and only seeing them as NPCs or in unrelated scenarios (eg: Fy'ra popping up in a guest battle royale). If they show up as guests in the main campaign, that could be good too, but I'm honestly like...could we get Erica and Aabria on Candela as players and could we get more Anjali in everything always and could we do another totally unrelated EXU sometime soon?

#answered #Anonymous #cr spoilers #cr tag

[wolfiemcwolferson]

Helllllooooo, I was tagged by @duquesademiel and also @vicsy and I feel a bit deranged but here we go.

1. How many works do you have on ao3

I have 73 fics up on my f1 ao3 account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

Please do not judge me for this, god, oh my god - 1,331,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I currently write for F1.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well we can settle down (Maxiel)

I remember when I met you just before September (Carlando)

so take it from me (Carlando)

I will wait for you at the end love (Maxiel)

I feel your body call on me (Piarles)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do not respond to comments and it makes me feel really horribly guilty. To be honest, I did not do it when I first joined the fandom because I was overwhelmed and then I wanted to and it was too long and I think one of the things I want to do is start...responding to comments...I just never know what to say.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's this Carlando. But you just have to read it. Trust me.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't think I can answer that because I am a certified happy ending writer. I have a few fics that I desperately want to write that I won't because they're not happy endings, but if I have to pick...it's got to be the Blue Neighbourhood series. That's a complete circle ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no one has ever left me explicit hate on my fics. some of y'all get wild in my inbox which is why I don't have anon on

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Uh. I don't know how to answer that.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not a big fan of crossovers <- Vicsy is right

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and I made a Wattpad account after Briony had one of her Maxiel fics posted to there for the second time and now I religiously check because I am deranged

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge - wait, once Sol said for exam practice she was translating bits of my fic and I had a little cry about it but it's not posted anywhere.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

HAVE I EVER. I genuinely have too many to individually tag, but I have written with @river-ocean in the past and I am currently posting the Alphabet Dating Season fic with @chaesonghwas and @duquesademiel - and we all know that Sol and I are always always always writing fic together. I have something in the works with someone else and I think it's a secret, so I won't say anything about that. And then @miamierre and I are literally putting the finishing touches on the promised insane fic we cooked up together and I cannot wait for you all to see it. This is the year of collabs for me and I'm loving it tbh

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Despite the stats on my fics

Piarles

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a fic for an old fandom that is languishing away and I feel guilty about it because it was good

16. What are your writing strengths?

I write fast.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I suffer from "can't shut up" and sometimes my fics don't need to be a long fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am so so so nervous about it. everything that I write I double and triple check and I still get it wrong a lot of the time. I think it's fine and people should do whatever the fuck they want.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter because of course

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This answer literally changes every single day. Today it's the sugarbaby fic that I wrote for Phoebe because I am very very proud of that fic and I think if you hold it against the stuff I was writing two years ago, you really see how far I've come as a writer.

Everyone tagged in this that hasn't already done it should do it, but I'm also going to tag @gaynfl

#tag thingy

[rexcaliburechoes]

i want to commit kermit on fire.jpg

#rex rambles #i'm so fucking done i hate it here i hate it i hate it #i'm so fucking tired jfc #i probably should eat something but i have work i need to do first because it's already late #allergies are not helping either #ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[dumplingsjinson]

List of “so… this is how a situationship feels like, and it sucks” prompts 

“See… The thing is, if we ever “break up”, I’d be devastated. Not because we were ever together, but because I’d be wondering about the what ifs and could haves and the potential we could have had. I think that’s what would hurt the most: wondering if we could have been the best thing out there, and not being able to see that come into fruition.” 

“I mean, I’d rather be as we are than lose you entirely.” 

“You’re confusing the shit out of me! Like, do you like me, or do you not? Do you want me or what the fuck? What are we?” 

“You broke my heart, but we weren’t even fucking together in the first place, which makes this all the shittier. You played me, then moved on like you didn’t leave a mark turned scar on me.” 

“So like… Are we just going to dance around our feelings and act like we don’t want something more? Or is it just me who feels this way?”

“I feel like if you truly wanted to be with me then it wouldn’t be so hard for me to have you around me for even just a minute, you know?”

“Maybe you should end things with them? Before you get hurt.“ “Well, I know I’m probably going to get my heart broken at the end of this but I also like to suffer. Actually, to be honest, I’m already hurt, but thanks for worrying about me!”

“I get this rush when I talk to you. It’s a high I chase, and I know it’s unhealthy, but I can’t stop.”

“So apparently I don’t know how to respect myself, because I’m wanting someone who doesn’t want me back as much, if at all.” 

“Some stupid part of me believes one day this could become something more, so then I end up hurting myself because it’s apparently what I do best, because I know this isn’t going to become something more. I’m deluding myself.”

“I say I’m going to get over them when they stop responding for a while, but I damn well know I’d run back to them the moment they hit me up again.”

“I’ve long accepted the fact that we won’t ever move past this stage, but then you do shit like that and it gives me hope, and that fucking hurts.” 

“You want the security a relationship gives you, and everything else it has to offer, but you don’t want a relationship. Well, at least with me. What the hell? You don’t get to string me along like this, you fucking asshole.” 

“Well, I’m sick and tired of this shit. Either we become official or you lose me.” 

#long post #prompts #otp prompts #writing prompts #dialogue prompts #i think this might have gotten a bit personal AHAHAH #situationship prompts #i'm sure i'm not the only one who has felt this way before #angst prompts #i had to log out of instagram to stop seeing his stupid name on my timeline lmfao fucking hate it here #WHY MUST I FEEL THINGSSS i'm so fucKING DONE

[nocek]

Do you want to hear a funny story?

So you know that I was drawing spiderverse comics lately. Because they are fun to do. And I think people like them. I mean the most popular one has like 4K notes? That's lot for me when I usually dwell in tiny fandoms made out of like 3 people and their dog. So it's nice, everybody is having fun and I'm grateful.

but

BUT

I just found out that somebody took few of that comics. Cut them up and run the text through ai reading voice and posted it as reels on fucking youtube.

And it's not even that I'm stumped why even turn 4 pictures into video. First time I see such a time wasting thing but ok. People do like different things.

And even lke some effort was done to erase text from speech bubbles so it appears as the ai spews it aloud but it's not even about it

I had pictures taken and posted somewhere else. Usually without credit. At least this time it was credited? I guess I should be grateful.

What fucking gets me is that those comics have several hundred thousand views and few hundred comments each.

Like fucking seriously.

I don't know what's the point

I don;t know what should I feel about this

I mean unless you can make money on youtube reels? Then I can at least be pissed about it. Nice clean feeling?

Because what gets me is that most of those comments are nice so I should be happy about it? I guess? But I feel like a pathetic peeping tom looking for appreciation that wasn't given to me actually eve if I did the thing

ugh

I'm just tired

this day was already shitty so i guess it's time to give up and take a nap

next comic will be delayed

#to be deleted #rant #text post #sorry i just need to like scream into the void a little #i guess i should just let it go #and be gratefull for the attention im already getting #so many awesome artists that get less #no point in being greedy #and nobody here likes when artists whine for attention #because we should create the content #i fucking hate that word #for like idea #guess what i'm happy creating things because i like creating them #ill just stop sharing #like i recently gave up on insta because i;m done trying to please the algorithm so it may let me interact with people #i like the old fashioned idea from fans for fans #got i got salty #i'm sorry #hopefully nap will fix it #i just need to let it go i guess

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

couple of mello + near doodles

#death note #mello #mihael keehl #near #nate river #meronia #bright colors #eyestrain #been having fun w colors recently :3 #these are the product of me really really really not wanting to do some discussion boards #like i don’t even hate discussion boards but something about them has been filling me with dread i’d rather just do exams tbh #i'm like dragging myself through the rest of this semester but it's different from last semester last semester i was losing my mind #this semester i've been able to sleep more than 4 hours a night and go outside bc it's not freezing but also i'm just so fucking done #with school i've been here too long i'm tired but i'm always tired and will always be tired it's tragic honestly i think i'd be more cool #with school if i weren't living how i am rn w my family but eh i don't have the money to move out so it's whatever and it doesn't really #help that i know i'll have to get at least a master's to really do anything in my field and the though of doing more of this makes #me so tired i think i might take a gap year after i get my bachelors this fall idk #anyways enjoy my doodles or don't if you don't want to i'm not the boss of you