#i'm of the opinion that he did it ultimately because he felt guilty for the gohan vs cell even tho it isn't entirely his fault

[t4tadrienette]

Goku definitely wanted to train Gohan for fun, just like Grandpa Gohan did with him, but then he wanted to respect Chichi's desire of him not becoming a fighter. He also spent 4 years of Gohan's life together and living peacefully.

But then he died, and when he came back, he found that Gohan was turned into a fighter by Piccolo, fair, I guess. He didn't see him fight, tho, he doesn't know the story behind him becoming a fighter, just that he was trained by Piccolo.

Then Gohan wants to go to Namek to find the dragon balls because he has to make sure their dead friends come back, and Goku goes wow that sounds like me, he also can't stand to stay on the side when it comes to these things.

Weeks pass, and now he's finally able to reach them on Namek. They have to fight, of course. Things happen. He's the only chance they have to defeat Freezer. Things fall apart now, Goku becomes Super Saiyan and tells Gohan to take Piccolo and get away. Goku is stuck alone on Namek. He saves himself by pure luck. He decides to stay where he is, to learn something new, to be able to also control his Super Saiyan state.

A year passes, and he comes back to earth. News from the future, saying that in 3 years, there's gonna be a new threat. They have to train, Gohan wants to train with him and Piccolo to fight this new threat. The three years have passed, and now there's another threat outside of the androids. Goku finally healed, he gets Gohan and tells him they're gonna train to defeat Cell. Gohan accepts to train with him. Gohan puts his all into that training, and Goku finds out Gohan has so many capabilities than what he shows. That's good! They have a chance at defeating Cell, maybe.

They finish their training, Goku wants Gohan to spend as much time with Chichi, and he wants to spend the remaining days before the Cell games as a family, you never know. The Cell games start, and Goku goes first to study him, to see how strong he is and if Gohan might have a chance. Oh, Gohan definitely has a chance. Come on, Gohan, now is your turn, I can tell you know you're stronger. Gohan is having difficulties, tho, Goku says it's just a matter of time before his fighting instict and anger sets in. But Gohan doesn't like fighting. That knowledge comes to Goku as a shock. He always assumed Gohan was fighting for the safety of the earth and for the love of fighting as well. At the end of the day, how could he think different, he never truly saw Gohan fighting, and at the end of the day, he was just picking up what Piccolo started in the first place. He never truly showed a disliking for fighting, or at least he never told him. He didn't know how in his first fighting against the Saiyans, he was petrified by fear. He wasn't there for the love of fighting, but because he had to, since he had this power.

Goku realises he miscalculated this. He immediately tells Krillin to pass him a bean so that he can get back into shape to go help him. Of course, Cell stops him before that. After Cell started to attack the others, finally Gohan snapped and unleashed his power, Goku was right after all. Gohan was definitely more powerful than him. He was the right warrior to defeat him. Gohan needs to defeat him once and for all, tho, but he doesn't. He says he has to have a slow and painful death. Those are some shocking words coming from Gohan. It doesn't sound like him. Well, now that has brought some problem, Cell is now about to explode and take all the earth with him. Now Goku has to make a decision. He will sacrifice himself. At the end of the day, he was the one to put Gohan in that position in the first place. It's only fair for him to do that. But, his sacrifice is useless, Cell comes back. Gohan tries his hardest, but his arm is broken. How can he defeat him now. But Goku is there to help him find the strenght and the others too. In the end, Gohan finds the strength to finally beat him.

It's time to revive people. There's still the problem of Goku not being able to be resurrected a second time. They think hey maybe we can use the dragon balls from Namek. But Goku stops them. He thinks that Bulma was right. He only attracts threats that put the earth in jeopardy, Piccolo, the Saiyans, the androids, and Cell. Maybe if he stays dead, they will stop coming. Like that, he will not put Gohan in danger anymore, Gohan will not have to fight anymore. So at the end of the day, it's better for him to stay away, rather than him staying with them, after all he was the one to put Gohan in that situation in the first place. In the end, he makes the selfless choice for Gohan. Maybe it's better for him not to have a father, but being safe, than having a father and being put into danger. At least, that's what he thinks is the right thing to do

#i don't know what this is but the goku decides to stay dead because he feels guilty compels me so much and at the end of the day #it doesn't make him a bad dad like many people think i think people also focus too much on the part where he said well like this i can meet #more powerful opponents when i think he was saying that also to not make them feel too bad #i'm of the opinion that he did it ultimately because he felt guilty for the gohan vs cell even tho it isn't entirely his fault #is he really to be blamed fully for not having notice gohan didn't like fighting when gohan never said anything and for a reason or another #he couldn't stay that much with gohan and the only time he stayed with him it was to train him #anyway i love the nuances about goku as a father truly shows him not to be as black and white as too many people think #also i probably changed verb conjugation so many times so pardon but like when i start making long posts i kinda lose track of what i said #previously so it's kinda of a mish mash of very mixed thoughts #dragon ball z #son goku #son gohan #dbz posting

[chaifootsteps]

Hey. I've wanted to send you an anon about this for awhile now, but I've always been too nervous. But given the recent wave of transphobic bullshit you're facing, I want to finally go for it. Chai, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for being so vocal about your opinions on IDW Arcee. It's been genuinely healing for me.

I never gelled with IDW Arcee for reasons I can't get into without trauma dumping, but I still never felt comfortable with the direction he was ultimately taken in. I felt like I couldn't say anything though, lest I be accused of being transmisogynistic. (I'm afab nonbinary, leaning towards transmasc) But it always felt 'off'. It felt wrong. And you put those feelings into words. Genuinely, I wanted to cry when I read through your posts about this. Because I felt validated. I didn't feel crazy or guilty or any of that anymore. Because there was someone else who understood. My time in the Transformers fandom was very traumatic. I still have many emotional wounds that are still healing, despite it being so long ago now. But some of those wounds are healing a little bit faster thanks to you. So thank you. Thank you so, so much. I hope one day I can work up the courage to come off anon to thank you more personally, but until then, I just want you to know that you're appreciated. Hope you have a wonderful day/night.

Thank you for this, Anon. This may sound crazy, but I've often semi-joked to people that when/if I get to the afterlife, I hope someone tells me that the pain and grief of loving a character like Arcee was for a reason. That he had to come into my life when he did, that it had to be this way, that it was all part of the plan.

When I say I'll be keeping this ask forever, and that it gives me a little more strength than I had before you sent it, I mean it.

You have a fantastic night too.

#Anonymous #Arcee #IDW Arcee #Transformers #actual blog post #image reply

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Bpp how have you been handling chapter2? Do you get bored or lose interest in Bts in hiatus? Do the solo rollouts not bother you? Please be honest I really want to know you true opinion.

***

Hi Anon,

Chapter 2 has been rough for you, hasn’t it? At least, based on your ask it sounds like it’s been. Tangentially, did you enjoy yourself this past weekend?

I’ve said this before, but if you ever feel like it’s a chore to remain plugged into BTS or stan culture, please step back. Don’t feel guilty about detaching if you no longer find joy in it. Move on to another hobby or another group if that’s where you’re at. BTS has fans, don’t worry. Don’t feel any obligation to stick around if Chapter 2 isn’t serving you what you want. You can check back in 2026 when the guys are together, or move beyond them completely.

That said, personally, I wonder how you can even ask me this question. Like, what else has Chapter 2 been but a trip? Lollapalooza, Balming Tiger collab, World Cup, Jungkook’s birthday video for Jimin, Indigo collabs, Set Me Free Pt 2, Promise on Spotify, On The Street, D-DAY tour, Yoonmin live, etc.

It’s been a blast. The music is easily some of the best globally this year and last. To illustrate:

...

The song I just listened to is Baseline by j-hope.

*

It's like a drug for me.

I don't think you understand.

I get high... off their music. Like, I don't know why you think two years of irregular releases without their full promotion of that music, will change my underlying sentiment. BTS scratches an itch few other artists can reach for me.

[ The sentiment? BTS is one of the best musicians of my generation. They make music that actually slaps. Any day of the week. Any genre they touch. It's prime good music. ]

Let me walk you through my playlist for the last half hour:

J-hope - Baseline

Baseline is the sauciest hiphop joint out of Korea, ever. J-hope is undeniably one of the most skilled and versatile rappers out of Asia. Point. Blank. Period.

RM, Tablo - All Day

RM's vocals in All Day render me a stupid mess. He's sooooooo... he's kinda nasty. I mean, it's big, he's kinda messy with it, but he ultimately knows how to use it, and he knows you know that he knows. All of this I deduced from his articulation and delivery on All Day. Tablo too, that tease, matched Joon's energy seamlessly. No further comment.

*

RM, Mahalia, Benny Blanco - Closer

Namjoon created a masterpiece with Indigo. It's an atrocity that many people won't admit it. Really. Indigo is the album of 2022 (Hurt by NewJeans being the song of the year, and JITB at Lollapalooza 2022 by j-hope the concert experience of the year.) Closer is an impeccably produced song. I mean it's almost disgusting how smooth the production, arrangement, instrumentation, etc on that song is.

*

Jimin - Alone

The cold clarity in his lyrics. How raw and honest he is, in such a well produced track... people need to show this song more respect.

*

RM - Change Pt 2.

The only song that rivals how brilliant and badass this one is, is Set Me Free Pt 2 by Jimin.

*

Agust D - D-DAY

The entirety of D-DAY album still has me in a vice grip, but something about D-DAY the song, rips to the core. How he manages to slip something rock anthemic into the epic call to arms he made that song into... Yoongi is in a league of one.

And to drive home the point, listen to him on HUH?!

Agust D, j-hope - HUH?!

Still the best song on the album. Undeniably. I mean, if you don't black out when this song comes on are you even alive? /gen. No matter where I am, what I'm doing, I could be exiting my company's underground garage, loading laundry, whatever... no matter what I'm doing, when this song comes on I feel my brain short circuit. It's like a mental reset. I suddenly feel so alert and primed with tension I could kill a person if I felt like it. The grandmas scared about what rap does to teens... songs like HUH?!, really do flip a switch in people's heads. They're right to worry because that's what the genre, drill - the gritty, ominous, and violent contemporary expression of rap - that's what it's made to do. And Yoongi showed an effortless mastery of it in HUH?!

*

Agust D - tour medley

I hope people who weren't able to see Agust D in person, were at least able to see him in the livestreamed concerts. Many times since I saw him in California, I've come back to some fancams from his earliest days of the tour. This one by rogrog is a favourite. Yoongi is a master of his craft who loves to show off his virtuosity. And in his D-DAY tour, that's what he does.

*

j-hope, J. Cole - On The Street

Jung Hoseok just casually produced this timeless classic and dipped to the military. No fuss. No sweat. No excuses. He just did the thing, had J. Cole spit some of the sickest bars of his career on that song, then said, "see you later."

Things like this are why he's my bias.

He's a consummate professional.

*

Unpopular opinion, but I have no real issues with their solo roll-outs. I'm not unsatisfied with too much and frankly, I'm so greedy for new music I wouldn't mind another cluttered roll-out. I hope Joon's music follows soon after JK's because God knows I'm not sure I can stand the wait much longer. Joon makes a lot of 'BTS-style' music and so whatever he drops will serve as the perfect complement to Seven / JJK1. And Vmin will likely drop new music in the next year as well.

Chapter 2 has been kind of a blast.

That's my "true opinion", Anon.

#bts rapline #bts rapline bias #bts #yoongi #min yoongi #jung hoseok #jhope #namjoon #kim namjoon #jimin #park jimin #bts chapter 2 #kpop #kpop music #music

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ok so I guess I kinda want to lay out why I'm more willing to forgive Ed's actions at the end of Season 1 than I am to forgive Izzy's even though Ed made murder attempts and Izzy didn't. It has to do with the morality of the show and the way that they've treated every other murder attempt up to that point. Stede and Nigel, Jim and Lucius, Ed and Stede, Izzy and Stede, Spanish Jackie and Geraldo, Mary and Stede, Buttons/Roach and The Swede all of these are treated with comedy and either immediately forgiven or breezed past or (in the case of Nigel) felt guilty about but ultimately treated as not that big a deal aside from the inner turmoil it causes Stede. With the exception of Calico Jack and Karl and Chauncey and Stede, literally no one gives a fuck when murder happens in this show. They just repeatedly try to kill each other with a like a 30% success rate and they keep it pushin. Death is, of course, an unavoidable part of a pirate lifestyle. All this to say that show by episode 10 has established I world where murder attempts aren't that big a deal and can usually be sorted out with a conversation if they can't be ignored all together, and that's the world in which Ed pushed Lucius overboard. That's the world in which Ed leaves the crew on a desert island. I still think he should have to answer for those actions of course, but it's not out of left feild or completely unforgivable.

Izzy on the other hand, his action have all come from a place of trying to control Ed and keep Ed stagnant. This show has character growth and self actualization set up as it's highest moral good. Izzy doesn't just try to kill Stede, that's not what makes a villain in Our Flag. Mary and Ed both make attempts that are forgiven immediately. What makes a villain is trying to keep other people from realizing themselves. Nigel and Chauncey do it to Stede by bullying him and insisting that his father was right and hes a bored little rich boy who will never amount to anything and refusing to accept him as a real pirate. Calico Jack does it to Ed by holding their shared history over his head and by insisting that pirates don't have friends. Izzy, in my opinion, is the worst offender by far here as he makes a deal with the fucking devil (the British Navy) in order to regain control over Ed. He insists that Ed is better off dead than happy. He breaks Ed down and refuses to let Ed be more than what he is on pain of death. He is straight up enacting abuse. If he has to sacrifice a toe to drag Ed down to his level than so be it, so long as Blackbeard is himself again. And before anyone says "if murder isn't that bad then why is threatening murder so bad" it's not just that he's threatening murder it's that he's enacting psychological warfare against Ed's very being. And on top of that he's doing it when Ed is already at the lowest he's ever been. In this way I think that Ed's greatest crime at the end is not what he did to Stede, or to Izzy, or to the marooned crew, or even to Lucius, it's actually what he did to Jim. By keeping Jim on after they gave up their revenge quest, he's unintentionally forcing them back into a life of revenge and violence, and by separating them from Oluwande he's keeping them from their chosen family. This is unintentional so I think it's more redeemable than an Izzy or a Jack or a Badminton (and it must be because Ed is still the love interest, he still plays the roll of the protagonist. He is not a villain, he will never be a villain no matter how edgy he dresses or how many murders he commits or how many evil evil montages he has set to Leonard Cohen songs) but it is still a crime that I think he'll have to answer for.

So yeah. In the morality of the Our Flag Means Death universe marooning and throwing people overboard for no reason are bad things, but they're not as bad as I think a lot of the fandom has made them out to be. And I think we have simultaneously forgotten just how fucked up Izzy's actions are.

#ofmd #our flag means death #blackbeard #edward teach #blackbeard ofmd #edward teach ofmd #izzy critical #izzy hands #jim jimenez #ofmd meta

[lordoftherazzles]

Hi! First of all I love your writing 💖 I got curious about the trope wheel, and I got Soulmate AU and Scars! Quite a lucky spun in my opinion! Hope it inspires you if you are in the mood for writing 💖

Hello hello!! First and foremost, thank you so much for your kind words, and of course for spinning the wheel!! :) I'm sorry this took so long, January decided to be a really mean month, but I'm slowly crawling out of my funk.

Anyway, I knew when I saw this message that I had to dive back into one of my plot bunnies that is actually a soulmate au! Whether this scene makes the final cut of the fic, or gets an overhaul, or whatever, who knows. But I wanted to convey the soulmate part, while dealing with literal scars. I hope this will suffice for your trope wheel spin!!

→ Heartstones (plot bunny)

To say that Bilbo felt guilty would be an understatement. How foolish he had been to drift too deep into the water all to check out a glistening stone at the bottom? He felt for these dwarves, and while he didn’t quite understand the whole ‘heartstone’ explanation, he understood enough. It was similar to his own plight of being an unclaimed bachelor of Hobbiton. His need to help Thorin find some mystical gem knew no bounds, and it almost caused him to drown.

Luckily, that wasn’t the case.

Laying on the grass and looking no better than a drowned rat, Bilbo was sure his face was soon to catch on fire with how red it was. Staring upward towards a water-logged dwarf who had fished him out of the water as soon as he’d sunk beneath the surface, Bilbo wasn’t sure what it was he could say. A simple ‘thank you’ wouldn’t suffice. Instead of something remotely intelligent leaving his mouth, the bubbling gurgles of a “why did you do that?” spewed from Bilbo’s mouth as he tried to hack up water that had rudely infiltrated his lungs.

“Why did I do that?” Thorin wheezed, sitting back and shaking a bit like a dog might after playing around in puddles. “Why did you do that?” It was obvious by Bilbo’s flailing that the hobbit had no idea how to swim, which had made him sink that much faster. So the question remained. What had possessed Bilbo to wade deeper into the river and drop to his knees of all things? It was foolish, just as it was careless, and Thorin hadn’t been prepared to just…drop into the water to spare Bilbo the misery that was drowning. But he’d done it. He had to.

“I thought I saw something.”

“And risked your life–” Thorin winced, and his hand instantly went to his shoulder. There was a tear in the fabric that ran deep, and as he pulled his hand away, there was the light staining of red against his palm. 

This made Bilbo pop up a lot faster than he should have, and instantly the world spun in protest. “You’re hurt,” he observed, moving his way around Thorin who sat on the ground looking pouty and uncomfortable. “Let me see.” The tear through Thorin’s coat was enough to tell Bilbo all he needed to know. Sometime in that rescue mission of Thorin’s, he must have caught his shoulder against some sharper rocks or branches that held little mercy regardless of one’s good intentions. As if Bilbo hadn’t felt guilty enough…

“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” Thorin insisted sternly, easing away from Bilbo’s touch to negate any further pain, but the hobbit wasn’t having any of that as he firmly tugged Thorin back into place.

“I most certainly will worry about this. You got this because of me, and now I’m taking care of it, regardless of your stubborn pride. Now hang on.”

Bilbo was shuffling from his spot where he’d been examining the tear in Thorin’s coat, and ultimately his shoulder, and was moving for a hilariously large bag that he had brought with them when leaving Bag End. “A good hobbit always prepares for any adventure, no matter how big or small,” he pointed out proudly while digging through the various items he thought necessary for today’s excursion.

Trotting to the water to carefully dampen a cloth and then work his way back to a dumbfounded dwarf, Bilbo made a wild gesture with his hand towards Thorin’s…everything. “Off with that coat.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can’t tend to your wounds with that on, now off with it.” The tone was bossy as if one were dealing with a gaggle of ill-behaved fauntlings, and much to Bilbo’s delight, Thorin complied. He was a bit grumbly about it, but the dwarf was moving and shedding his thick layer of leather and furs, only for a pesky tunic to be in the way. “And that too. We’ll need to take care of this properly back home with medicine and what not–”

“I thought good hobbits were prepared?” Thorin snorted in mild annoyance, but also amusement.

The sigh that left Bilbo’s left could have contended with the wind with how heavy it was. At least Thorin was trying to crack a joke in the face of his obvious discomfort. Or that’s what Bilbo chose to believe anyway. “Anyway…” Hazel eyes rolled, but came to a grinding halt as Thorin was struggling to get his tunic over his head with how poorly his shoulder felt, spurring Bilbo into action yet again. With the tunic removed and Thorin pulling his hair out of the way, the two fell into silence.

The sight that Bilbo was met with was enough to cause him to pause, and not because there were a few intricate designs decorating Thorin’s back and nape, but from the damage his foolishness had caused his dwarven guest.

A few moments ticked by, and as Thorin remained seated on the ground with Bilbo staring at his back, it was as if the dwarf could feel that gaze burning into his skin more than any scar ever could. “Is there a problem?”

Bilbo’s ears wilted, as he tentatively rubbed his fingertips at the reddened skin around that scar, careful not to touch the actual wound itself. His cheeks burned with a fierce blush, and now that he was staring at the injury, how was he supposed to tell Thorin the truth? How was he supposed to tell the dwarf that what had nearly ended him was on his behalf? Something in his chest had practically possessed him to act, and yet there was no solid explanation as to why. “I did it for you,” Bilbo mumbled, hoping desperately that Thorin’s ears were too water-logged to hear him, or pay him much mind.

“I beg your pardon?” Thorin had started to turn, peering over his shoulder at Bilbo’s reddened face and look of dismay with uncertainty of his own.

“You asked why I had so stupidly ended up dunked in the water, and now I’m telling you! I did it for you.” By this point Bilbo was pressing that damp cloth to Thorin’s shoulder to occupy his hands, as well as stunt the bleeding as the dwarf seemed a tad tense beneath Bilbo’s touch.

“For me?”

“Yes! Because ever since you and Frerin arrived to Bag End, you’ve been this pitiful and miserable thing, wallowing on and on about heartstones and heartcrafts and not having a purpose, well guess what, you’re not the only one!” Bilbo griped, his eyes blazing and a courage in his chest that felt like it was being blown away just by the look of shock that Thorin sported. “I know what it’s like to feel miserable. To be unwanted and not find that which you seek most, and I thought for a second that maybe if I found the stone you were looking for…”

Maybe it would help both of them. Thorin’s heart could be full of hope in knowing that he did belong somewhere, and Bilbo could take the warmth in his own heart to know that he’d helped someone claw their way out of such self-depreciation by finding a simple soul-calling rock.

Silence fell between the two of them once more as Bilbo tended to the scar that lined part of Thorin’s shoulder. It was unlike both of them to be without words, and for a time Bilbo had assumed his outburst had simply scared the dwarf into his silence.

“I don’t mean to pry, or to assume you feel the same as I do, but this feeling of judgment that everyone passes my way for not finding my heartbloom…I wouldn’t wish it on anyone,” Bilbo quietly explained as he dabbed that cloth before pulling it away to place some bandages against Thorin’s skin. “Make no mistake, I am content on my own, but a part of me wonders if there’s anyone out there for me. Someone who makes me feel…” and as Bilbo continued to press his hands to Thorin’s skin, a bubbling warmth began to bloom in his chest, just like it had when first meeting the dwarf, though it wasn’t a small tingle of a feeling.

It bloomed like a vast field of wildflowers, and that feeling cut him off abruptly.

His head felt like it was in a fog, still drowning beneath the water’s surface as that feeling in his chest intensified. It was alarming, but warm and comforting, and Bilbo wasn’t sure how to explain it. He mentally had to curse the world at this cruel trick that was plaguing him. Was it a joke that he was suddenly feeling so warm and cozy in his heart now of all times with a dwarf seeking his own soulmate of all creatures? Or was it merely a trick of the mind?

“Thank you, Bilbo.”

It was Thorin’s low voice that pulled the hobbit from his delight, as well as his agony and urged him to finish up. “It’s my pleasure, Thorin. I just want to see you happy.” Was this what dwarves felt when they found their heartstone? Bilbo had to wonder, but part of him didn’t want to know.

“I assure you, Bilbo, I am happy.”

And oh how those words and that warm tone moved Bilbo more than they should, but it was best to focus on finishing patching up Thorin before Frerin and the rest of the dwarven gang came looking. 

#the hobbit #bagginshield #thilbo #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #january trope roulette #thorin x bilbo #bilbo x thorin #razzledrabbles #razzywrites #fic: heartstones #why are you so happy thorin hmmm???

[jump-in-my-spideypool]

Sorry but I have to get this of my chest, I enjoyed "Demo Paranormal" for what it was, it was a bit a cliche but it was entertaining and got me hooked to keep reading at least but the way you treated Dahlia was fucking atrocious like Jesus, like she was left disabled because she was trying to help her fucking ex and his new boyfriend and they decided to abandon her in a hospital like Demo could at least be there for her as a friend but oh no Zak might feel jealous :(( so fuck her I guess.

Hey, this was sent to my main account, not my IF account.

Anyway, having an opinion is fine, and bringing up something you think was, as you put it, "atrocious" is fine. But I feel the need to go over a few things you brought up, if not only to clear up what happened, but to understand if my intention was clear...

They stayed with her for a few hours, making sure she was ok enough to then leave. And Zak and Demo felt extremely guilty for what happened, and stayed with her as long as they could, so I don't really understand you thinking they abandoned her? Because they weren't camping out in her hospital room? Zak lives in a completely different state, he's not exactly able to just stay with her with the rest of her life. Also, Zak was running against the clock for his life, so he also really didn't have time to hang out in a hospital for however long it takes to heal from your eyes being gouged out. I left it a little open-ended, but I assumed the reader would think that Dahlia has some friends or family that would have taken care of her after they found out what happened, especially since I stated that her, Demo, and Zak came up with a coherent story about her having a mental break.

Also, Zak wanted Demo to go be with her. Not like wanted wanted, but he knew it was the right thing to do. Demo chose to stay with Zak because 1; Dahlia told him that part of the 'payment' she wanted from helping Zak was to never see him again and 2; he knew she'd be ok. He literally says that 'she'll figure it out, she always has.' I wrote it this way so the reader can assume that she has others she can rely on, not just her demon-ex-boyfriend, and that she'll be ok despite what happened to her. Also, Demo leaves the hotel room after everything with her happened- I left it open-ended, again, so people could either assume he goes to visit Dahlia, or not. Maybe I could have put something about her in the epilogue, but considering the 1 thing she wanted from Demo for all her help was for him to leave her alone, I decided that her story would end where it ended.

Like, I'm sorry that what happened to Dahlia upset you so bad, but ultimately Dahlia was just there to advance the plot- not to be liked, not to be hated... Just to advance Zak's story. [This happens multiple times throughout the story...] What happened to her wasn't fair, but I tried to make it blatantly obvious that the demon in Zak is extremely dangerous, and that he didn't care if what he did was fair or not. I didn't mean to make it seem like they abandoned her, but her whole situation isn't exactly normal, so I'm unsure how to change it, and unsure if I want to.

I hope this didn't come off condescending or anything, I'm just rather confused about it.

[schneereggen]

Who do think guren lover more- shinya or yuu?

And please dont give answer like-" he lover both eaqually", I really want to know.

That one is a tough question. So thank you for asking, I love tough questions that are not easy to answer. Sorry for taking so long. I had this one on my draft for ages and I just wasn't able to edit it properly.

Frist of all, it's not easy to say what loving someone more exactly means. Especially if each love for both persons has a different nature. And Guren loves both Shinya and Yuu, just in other ways.

So, maybe we can approach this question by starting to look at how Guren's love for them is different.

Different types of love

Guren loves Yuu like a son. He's proud of him, he loves seeing him grow, seeing him happy. I bet Guren projects a lot about himself into Yuu. By teaching Yuu and helping him grow, Guren put a part of himself into this boy. Yuu is Guren's mentee, and Guren feels really responsible for him.

Yet Guren send to be okay with using Yuu whenever he's for good use for his plan.

Shinya on the other hand is on the same level with Guren and they compliment each other instead of staying similarities. Guren trusts Shinya, honors his different opinion and likes his company. He knows that he could always turn to Shinya though Guren never actually does involve Shinya in his problems because he doesn't want to or rather can't at that point (crumbling to dust, we all know).

How to determine which love is more important

As the way Guren loves both is very different, we need a way to compare them. The classic way is to all the question, who would Guren save when he would have to decide between both. Which one would he save and which one would he let die. The problem that comes with this choice is that I think it differs depending on the situation and the state Guren is in. Because Guren even though he's a character mostly driven by feelings, he also can make rational choices sometimes. Even though there would be pain for himself involved.

For example in a life death situation, I can see Guren deciding against Shinya, maybe because it might be the right choice in a situation even though it would hurt Guren awfully to decide it. The opposite also with Yuu.

Seemingly this method won't work because as I see it, Guren decides who he loves more mostly on the circumstances and most of all by the factor how much the other person seems to need him.

How Guren loves people by guilt

When we look at the books the person Guren is most attached and drawn to, always seems to be the person he feels needs him the most at that moment. What I mean it's that Guren is most attached to Mahiru during Catastrophe at Sixteen. He feels responsible for her, he feels he's the only one that came save her and he feels guilty for not being able to.

But when she dies, Guren doesn't think about her anymore. It's almost as he's freed from the guilt of trying to save her because he failed.

At the same time he feels guilty now for letting his friends die. Though Guren never actively felt he needed Shinya. He now wishes to have him and the rest of his friends back. To not feel guilty and and to be with them again.

So, I think, the same would apply to Yuu. Yuu is most important to Guren when he feels Yuu needs him. If Yuu doesn't need him, Guren would always choose others over him. The same way Guren often chooses people over his friends and Shinya as long as he feels they would get along quiet well on their own.

Is there really someone Guren loves most?

When we look at cabin events until now, Guren loves his friends and Shinya more than Yuu. He did a lot for them. He triggered the ultimate sacrifice to get them back. And here tires to put them out of danger.

On the other hand, he put Yuu in danger, he's ready to use him. But that doesn't mean he didn't love Yuu. Their relationship is different.

And things might change in the future. I'm not sure if Guren would cost his friends over others a second time. But in the end they are his family. The same as Yuu as kind of his son is also his family.

#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #guren ichinose #yuu hyakuya #ons #anon ask #analysis #meta

[melishade]

Another banging chapter !!! Thank u for the recent chapter in this tiresome day I have several questions for this one 1. Erwin against genocide ? Hmm, I thought he fully support Rumbling, dont judge me, I only follow trend if Erwin lived instead of Armin, he'd beside Eren trampling the world. Elaborate your opinion, cause I dont get it. 2. Why in the backward earth didnt Megatron and his co tell about Eren situations and his ability ? Everyone could've prepared for the worst if they tell Survey Corps about them, especially OP, Hanji, Levi, Armin, and Mikasa. Hell, maybe they will try to convince Eren, or maybe sorry ass beat up in Levi case. Nah, it wont change Eren to change him unleashed his bullshit shitstorm. I have a prejudiced about Louise freed Yelena and the rest of Extremist Restorationists from jail. Oh maybe you can make OP and Megsy realized there is a trigger for Eren ability (Cough cough, Historia) 3. Wil you make Kenny meet Levi and tell him that he is in the good side now (sort of) ? Cant wait for trio Ackerman in action, Kenny and Levi bickering, Mikasa tired for their shit and tried to stop it, it would be hilarious IMO

OK, I think thats all. Huff, thats quite a lot to ask. Thx :)

So these are spoilers for Attack on Titan and Attack on Prime chapter 82, so go read it if you haven't.

First question about Erwin I think that Erwin could go either way when it comes to supporting or opposing the Rumbling. You just have to look at Erwin's character as a whole. Because his motivation for joining the Survey Corps was to find out about the secrets of the outside world and prove his father's theory. A selfish motivation. But when he survived his first expedition and watched his dying comrades give heart and soul to the cause, he had to hide his ambitions behind the glory of humanity's survival because he felt so guilty for leading his comrades to his death for his own selfish benefit. I'm sure that some part of Erwin did believe in the survival of humanity when he was alive in the main story, but it wasn't a top priority. Not to mention he was doing monstrous shit and sacrificing his comrades when he needed to in order to achieve his goals. His plans were effective, obviously, but it literally took him a mountain of corpses to get there. So you could factor in Erwin's selfishness for wanting to activate the Rumbling and his desire to do anything and everything to protect the walls and have his plans succeed. If we are looking from the perspective of Erwin's selfishness and him playing his part as a monster to ultimately protect the island, then Erwin would be in support of the Rumbling.

But I think the one key scene that would make Erwin oppose to the Rumbling is his death charge. His final stand. Because Erwin didn't have to go to Shinganshina, but he wanted so desperately to see what was in the basement and prove his father right. But right when the Survey Corps backs are against the wall as Zeke is killing them off slowly, and Erwin confesses his sins to Levi, Levi tells him to die, and Erwin says thank you to him. Erwin's last stand is him abandoning his dream, abandoning his selfish desires and finally fighting for humanity. Erwin's last stand was that of glory and altruism because he was finally doing the right thing for the right reasons.

Mind you, the Walls have always been cruel to him. It was the people in the walls that killed his father, not the people in Marley. It was the people in the walls that scorned and ridiculed the Survey Corps. It was the people in the walls that arrested him and beat him and planned to execute him. He knows just how selfish and cruel humans can be, but he still chose to fight in the Survey Corps. He didn't abandon his own dream, and he didn't abandon humanity despite the cruel treatment, so I don't believe he would allow for the destruction of the outside world because they all hate him and the island.

In AOP, Erwin's story plays out differently. He lives, and tells his sins to Optimus during the coup, and Optimus is understandably angry at Erwin. Erwin's guilt came to the surface when Optimus showed up, because Optimus has always been altruistic in nature, but Erwin hasn't. So when Erwin gets to live and leave the Survey Corps because Optimus said he wouldn't serve if Erwin was in command, Erwin is left with guilt and shame at the lives he let die out of selfishness. Now Eren wants to do that, kill lives out of what is clearly selfishness, and Erwin can't let that happen out of guilt and compassion. Erwin has abandoned his humanity multiple times, but I think when it really comes down to it, Erwin will still find a way to chose his humanity to make up for the cruel things that he's done.

Of course, we'll never know how Erwin would react in season 4. He merely watched from the Paths along with everyone else. But I think the salute at the end signified that he supported Levi and his choice.

Second question regarding Megatron's secrecy.

Megatron's team consists of Erwin Smith, a retired member of the Survey Corps, a civilian who's not supposed to know top government secrets, Nile Dok, someone who is sharing those top secrets to a civilian, and Kenny fucking Ackerman, the guy who killed over 100 MPs, was part of the old government, and was in prison before Erwin broke him out. If Megatron's comes up to them now with this information, they're going to ask how he got it, and he can't bring up their information. If he does, he's in deep shit, Nile loses his job, Erwin goes to prison, and Kenny will be killed. It's the same reason why they had to omit Erwin and Kenny from the report and say that it was Nile, Ymir, and Megatron who suspected Zeke's treachery. Megatron was already mistrusting of Zeke, Nile had info on the wine transportation, and Ymir was a witness. They have to frame it so that information gets told without sounding like a madman while no one gets arrested.

Third question

Kenny and Levi will interact in AOP. It's just way later. lol. But the other stuff I can't answer because that will be too many spoilers.

I hope these answers are to your liking.

#attack on prime #transformers prime #tfp #attack on titan #asks #aot #shingeki no kyojin #send me asks #ao3 #snk #spoilers #snk spoilers #tfp megatron #erwin smith #kenny ackerman #nile dok #megatron #maccadam #macadam #fanfic #fanfiction

[linagram]

[ 𝚎𝚒𝚔𝚘'𝚜 𝚝𝟷 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚍𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚊 ] 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎

eiko's voice drama is here!! it's her, the ultimate girlboss dhjskskssl

i like her character a lot actually? she's so chill compared to kei and writing her vd turned out a lot easier than i imagined it to be, it felt like a nice break from whatever kei's drama ended up to be. doesn't make her any more sympathetic though

anyway, i'm very curious to see how her trial will go! it took me a lot of time to figure out her canon verdict too..

(divider link)

(sounds of footsteps)

Miki: Eiji-san.. Are you okay?

Miki: The last interrogation.. wasn't the easiest one.

Eiji: I'm fine. As long as you let me vote him guilty, I will be fine.

Miki: But are you sure this is the right decision?

Eiji: No matter how much you try to make me change my mind, Kei is the only prisoner that I will still vote guilty. Maybe I will give other prisoners a chance, even though that possibility is small, but Kei is someone I will never forgive.

Eiji: Wouldn't you do the same if you had to judge the person who had ruined your life?

Miki: .. I was that person.

Miki: But out of all the people in this prison, I'm the only one who truly doesn't deserve to be forgiven.

Eiji: .. Don't say things like that.

Eiji: I don't know what you did, but I'm sure that you're not like those sinners.

Eiji: You wouldn't be chosen as a guard if you were just as unforgivable as them.

(door opens)

Eiko: Hiiii!~

Eiko: Wow, you two are even more cute than I've imagined you to be!

Eiji: Ugh, she's just like him.

Miki: Eiji-san, if you need a break..

Eiji: It's fine. I'm fine.

Eiko: You look so tired though.. Interrogating all those scary people all day must be so hard..

Eiko: Don't worry, I'm not like them at all. Actually, I don't think my crime can even be called a crime.

Eiji: Well, that's for us to decide.

Eiji: So you are.. Prisoner 006, Yoshioka Eiko, 23 years old.

Eiji: And you also were a model before arriving here.. You and Kei really would be a perfect couple.

Eiko: Haha, yeah, me and Kei are really close! He's so funny and I have to say, he's kinda cute.

Eiko: You look cuter than him though.

Eiko: I like how these bandages look on you. Sure, maybe you're injured, but it also means you were strong enough to survive all that.

Eiji: ...

Miki: Eiji-san, are you.. blushing?

Eiji: I'm not.

Eiji: A-anyway, about your crime-

Eiko: Oh, you want to talk about that first? So straightforward, I like your style.

Eiko: Keep acting like this and maybe you'll be able to impress us.

Eiji: .. Who's "us"?

Eiko: ...

Eiko: Haha, nevermind. I'm probably just tired, I mean, I did have to wait for you two to come visit me.

Miki: W-we're sorry for being late! The last interrogation was just..

Eiko: You don't have to apologize. Kei's interrogation was a nightmare, wasn't it?

Miki: How did you-

Eiko: Kei is attractive, I have to agree. He's fun to talk to and we're kinda on the same wavelength.

Eiko: .. But I don't think he's "perfect" enough for me.

Eiko: He can be really annoying sometimes. And I don't think our relationship would be as deep as I want it to be if we actually start dating. It's obvious he's just interested in me because of my looks and nothing else.

Eiko: So yeah, I can imagine the last interrogation was hard for you both.

Eiji: .. Finally, someone gets it.

Eiko: Hm? Did you say something?

Eiji: No, I didn't.

Eiko: Okay then. So.. you want me to tell you more about my murder, right?

Miki: Y-yes, please!

Miki: Um, only if you're comfortable with that, of course..

Miki: If you tell us more about your crime, maybe we'll be able to save you!

Eiko: .. "Save me"?

Eiko: Ah, you mean voting me innocent.

Eiko: Well, to be honest.. I don't really care about all that.

Eiji: Really? That means you're okay with me voting you guilty?

Eiji: It's not like I care about your opinion, it's just nice to hear that you won't try to resist.

Eiko: *laughs* If you're the one who comes up with all the punishments, I'll be okay with anything~

Eiko: But also, I just don't think either option is.. how do I say it.. "good enough" for me? I just can't imagine a perfect outcome.

Eiko: If you vote me innocent, that will just mean that you want me to depend on you more and start seeing you as "my knight in shining armor", because wow, you've saved a pretty girl, even though she's a murderer just like all other prisoners, how kind of you!

Eiko: And if you vote me guilty, that will mean that you want me to remember that you're the one who rules this place. Maybe you won't even think that hard about it, because it's so tempting to just make a girl like me beg you to forgive me.

Eiko: Or maybe you just want an excuse to do all kinds of things to me, haha.

Miki: Eiji-san? Um, can you hear me?

Eiji: ...

Eiko: Oh no, I think I broke him.

Eiko: Haha, looks like he's not used to talking to women as beautiful as me.

Eiko: Then you can be the one asking me questions, Miki-chan. Oh, by the way, are you okay with me calling you that?

Miki: Y-yeah, sure.

Eiko: Great. So, what questions do you have for me?

Miki: Well.. I can't exactly ask you to tell me about your victim, can I?

Eiko: Why not? I'll gladly tell you about that liar.

Miki: I knew it- Wait, what??

Miki: You'll just tell me everything like that??

Eiko: Listen, I have nothing to hide. I mean, I do have my secrets, obviously, but they're not related to my crime.

Eiko: So I'm not scared of telling you everything about it.

Miki: Oh.. then, can you please tell me more about your victim? And why did you call them a "liar"?

Eiko: Well.. let's see. That man never kept any of his promises, he lied to me about every single little thing and in the end he turned out to be someone completely different.

Eiko: I knew that a person can be different from their "online self", but still..

Eiko: That difference was just too big.

Miki: Did he turn out to be a bad person?

Eiko: I wouldn't say that. It's not like he was a bad person, it's not like he was evil or anything like that..

Eiko: He was just too "imperfect". He had too many flaws. He was not good enough for me.

Miki: "Imperfect"..

Eiko: Oh, sorry, that probably makes me sound like someone who always expects too much from others.

Eiko: Even though I will admit, my expectations can be a little bit too high sometimes.

Eiko: But hey, I just know that I deserve better! What's so bad about that?

Miki: No, no, I just find it weird how often you say this word.

Eiko: What word?

Miki: "Perfect".

Miki: "Perfection", "imperfect", "good enough"..

Miki: I didn't expect you to be such a perfectionist, Yoshioka-san.

Eiko: .. *laughs*

Eiko: You're right, Miki-chan, I really say words like that pretty often.

Eiko: It's just that I was taught to never accept anything that's not "perfect" or even "good enough".

Eiko: I know, I'm not the most sympathetic prisoner here. Sorry about that, I guess.

Eiko: But I'm sure your partner will have fun coming up with a punishment for me.

Eiji: .. O-of course, I will!

Eiko: Oh, so you can still talk!

Eiko: By the way, I just can't understand the kind of relationship you two have. Are you a couple or-

Eiji and Miki: WE'RE NOT!

Eiko: Haha, okay, okay. You two get along well though.

(bell rings, machinery sounds)

Eiko: I wonder what my video will be like.

Eiko: Oh, it will be a music video too, right? A lot of people have told me that I have a beautiful voice, so I hope you like it~

Eiji: I don't care about all that. Your crime is the most important thing.

Eiko: Hehe, okay then. I hope you have fun watching it anyway.

Miki: But isn't it scary? I mean.. What if we see something that we weren't supposed to see?

Eiko: .. Then I will simply have to accept it. You can start, Ei-

Eiko: Oh, sorry, I meant to say Guard-san.

Eiji: I don't need your permission.

Eiji: Prisoner 006, Eiko, sing your sins!

═════════•°• ⚠ •°•═════════

#I'M SORRY IF IT'S CONFUSING TO READ BECAUSE OF HOW SIMILAR EIKO AND EIJI'S NAMES ARE SHSJSKKZ #so yeah she's kinda like kei but. better in my opinion #ehehe i love dropping small hints of miki lore #we have the sanada family lore. we have miki lore. also shun's parents. akio's class lore. #now eiko just goes “haha what if you manage to impress US” #linagram iceberg? /j #🎤 voice dramas! 🎤 #💎prisoner 006: yoshioka eiko💎 #🗡️guard 001: sanada eiji 🗡️ #🌼guard 002: andou miki 🌼 #milgram #milgram oc #milgram project

[evachuber]

DRDT Secrets predictions!

There will be spoilers for the recent episode (Ch2 Ep10) so read at your own risk.

So, since the new episode came out, We know nearly every secret so far. Some are not confirmed, so I will be discussing all the unconfirmed ones. I won't be using the official descriptions of the Secrets, but most of them are easy to describe in a sentence. With that, let's start.

the few secrets I won't mention are Ace and Arturo's. They haven't changed on MonoTV's screen but have been confirmed. For those who don't remember:

Ace had the eating disorder, revealed by Veronika

Arturo had the leading sister into suicide, revealed by J

Secret 1: Someone blames themselves for the deaths of many. They didn't go and yet they still blame themselves. This one is Xander's secret, as his secret quote was related to Survivors Guilt. Since Xander didn't go with the people who died, he felt guilty how he was the only one who could go on, which I would say is the reason he started Vigilante work in the first place.

I can't remember if someone said Xander was the one who had the killing game being his fault secret, but given how the one who said that secrets holder was David I would imagine he'd lie so no one would suspect the actual person who had the secret, which in my opinion is Teruko which was obvious due to how much is going against her form the very start, which is why I think Xander has this secret and not Teruko.

Secret 2: Someone was in a competitive setting, but poisoning them was going too far. Now, I think this is Min's secret. From what I remember, Min's Korean, and the people who she poisoned were her classmates. The Korean school system is a very competitive field, to the point bribery from parents comes into affect when it comes to determining grades. This causes Min to Poison her class to get ahead, which leads to her ultimate student title.

Secret 3: Someone is harming themselves simply because of the thrill. This is easily Veronika. Veronika in Chapter 2 Episode 10 has said nothing matters to her just as long as she's entertained, which is why she simps for Arturo so much. She would also be willing to harm herself to cure her boredom. Anything to get her out of her boredom, Veronika will do it, even if it's morally wrong.

Secret 4: Someone wasn't OK with dying once, so they tried killing themselves three times. I'm actually going to say this is David's secret. David isn't the manipulator one for two reasons.

The first is that David didn't lie about his secret, he took a shot in the dark and went with one he thought off. He also lied about holding Xander's secret because he wanted to make sure no one would think Teruko is the mastermind, not to fool everyone.

The second is that another character has more manipulative qualities than David. Reasonings I'll get into soon.

But David definitely has issues. I think he's so defensive about it because it's scarring to him that he tried ending it three times and none of them worked. I also doubt he's the manipulator one because while he has trauma, he definitely isn't lying about it.

Secret 5: Someone exists to manipulate people, and that's it. This one is suspected to be David's but I think it more so goes to Hu. I read once on a massive Hu dislike rant that She seems to act like Nico did nothing wrong at all and treats them like an innocent baby at times, despite the fact Nico tried killing Ace. She also has lied about her name before, according to an interaction in the Relaxation room where her name is apparently Julia. She's lied before, she can do it again. Not to mention something is definitely up with her, given her butterfly hairpin went from perfectly in tact, to missing to somewhat broken within the span of 10/9 episodes.

This leaves the final secret: A killer with no remorse. By Process of Elimination, this is Levi's secret. There isn't much to go off of here, but I know a few things that help this stand. Levi has been shown to be violent before, as he has threatened Ace's life in the chapter 1 trial. Whilst he has apologized for it (According to him), Levi still threatened Ace, so it's certainly there. There was also talk of Levi being disowned, which could be either a cover up and he killed his family or his family saw what he did and disowned him out of a mix of fear and disgust.

That's enough rambling, I've brainstormed for a few minutes and this was what I got. There may be a few things wrong but I'm open to other opinions.

#danganronpa despair time #drdt spoilers #drdt theory #drdt

[dil-ibaadat]

Hello. Just curious how chapter 3 of Dowry is coming along and when to look for it. I’ve been really sad about recent Kanthony news (possibly no s3 subplot, no Emmy noms for Jimone) and need my comfort fic more than ever lol :(

aiming to have it posted by this weekend! a return to kate pov, my beloved :D.

i'm sorry you're feeling down about kanthony!

this may not be what you want to hear, but bridgerton isn't exactly the type of content emmy voters look for when nominating their favorite shows. it's frilly froth meant to entertain, nothing more, and this season's story was frankly an incoherent mess saved solely by the chemistry and performances of the two leads. in my humble opinion, it was really engaging, but it wasn't good television, at least not in the classical sense.

now, personally, i think JB did a fantastic job and deserved a nod, but it was a stacked board this season. i mean, succession won 7/12 nominations allotted for guest actors in drama series and a total of 25 nominations overall. that's insane (well, well-deserved, it's a beast of a show, but still). they clearly have their preferences.

but here's the thing: emmy nominations are not the final arbiters of taste. these guys nominated TBBT for YEARS (a show whose writers routinely relied on casual misogyny and jim parsons rattling off the periodic table for laughs) and paid dust to brooklyn 99, bojack horseman, the wire, the office, freaks and geeks (OK, it only ran for a season, but it was a brilliant fucking season, alright?), etc, etc.

so don't feel guilty for liking something because it's not as "highbrow" or critically acclaimed as shows touted in variety or the a.v. club. bridgerton's failure to garner many nominations is nothing but a reflection of the fact that emmy voters simply didn't like the show enough to nominate it. that's it. but for the general audience, season 2 was of major interest! we can see that looking at netflix's streaming stats. in sum, the show is not in danger of being canceled, we will still see bits and bobs of kanthony in the future (even if JB books new shows, as he should), and your favorite actors will go on to have great careers in which you'll have plentiful opportunity to see them on the screen to your heart's content. not having emmy noms is not a big deal, especially for show of bridgerton's caliber and appeal.

and, another, very, very humble opinion of mine:

in my experience, if a show is visually and technically perfect, i won't be motivated to write for it. because the story is finished. it was emotionally satisfying, it was done well. i'm the breed of writer who writes out of rage, who views fanfic as the ultimate 'fuck you' letter to the production of a show that has lost its way. i did not like season 2 - it had some great elements, but overall, the story for me felt unfinished. that's why i'm in the fandom, to read and write about kanthony getting the ending and character development they deserve. a lot of these highbrow shows that have been nominated will more often than not have a different type of fandom, one where fans are more likely to engage in iterative activities (what was your favorite episode, rank your favorite characters, etc.) as compared to transformative activities (as in rage-writing fix-it fanfiction). in my view, season 2's terrible creative decisions did result in a lot of fan engagement with kanthony as a ship. the lack of good content and desire for more is what prompts creators to create. that's a good thing!

imo, we've got a fantastic fictional couple, amazing fans, brilliant writers in the fandom, and enough spite to keep us churning out content for YEARS. so don't worry yet about the kanthony well drying up. we're doing just fine.

i hope this rant makes you feel somewhat better, anon. clearly, i had some feelings to get out as well. :D

#anon #my fic #bridgerton

[anas-tasiaa]

Man, I see you're playing Ray AE. I remember the first time I did. It was my last. The first time I did it felt as if my heart was ripped out of my chest, ripped to shreds and stomped on. But maybe it's because I love V. I barely found the strength to get the good ending. I was just blindly pressing the choices going by the guide.

I'll never forgive Cheritz for what they did to V and to Jumin (he is my second fave, so it's a double heart break) in that AE.

I'll never recover...

I am incredibly sorry to whoever sent me this request. I rarely check it because I receive so few? (Nervous chuckle ;;;;). I have a great deal to say about this AE in general. Let me tell you.

I couldn't give an overall opinion because I had three bad endings (damn you!) and I quit in the middle of day 4. So I was unaware of what happened to V and Rika at the ending? However, here is what I can say about what I currently know. I believe Cheritz portrayed V as a "villain" excessively. Don't get me start about Rika. Yet, she is not in a rational state of mind, so let's focus on V. We are all aware that V would always keep a secret and bear the entire burden by himself. This is what we have all acknowledged about him so far in every way. If it was necessary to protect the RFA, he would shoulder the burden and even make the ultimate sacrifice. This is who he is. He is both destructive and protective of himself. He would have committed suicide to prevent Rika from causing irreparable harm to the RFA. V has numerous flaws, but he would never stab RFA in the back. I have stated in my previous posts that everyone in the RFA, not just V, is OOC at some point. It does not appear that they are being themselves. Let me tell you, my mouth was gaping when V put on the sleeping gas like (??????). Are you indeed V? Are my eyes lying to me? Who the hell are you??? V would never have gone this far? Perhaps the circumstances and gravity of the situation would somehow influenced his rational decision, but it surprises me that he is portrayed as the traitor who betrayed RFA.

Even though he was blinded by love, this is not the V we knew. Yes, he felt guilty, but choosing Rika over the RFA is not something I'm accustomed to seeing. Sure, V lied about Rika's death and Saeran being a hacker for everyone; he did so to keep Rika "pure" in the eyes of the RFA. However, the fact that he went on to betray the RFA (without hesitance) is absurd. Cheritz was so intent on making V Rika's accomplice that I do not believe we are looking at the same V. Perhaps it was for the plot itself, which is flimsy. (Shrugs). To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely pleased with how Ray AE is taking the lead; it feels too cliche and cheesy for my tastes. Even Rika and V are so OOC. (Everyone however though) I'm grateful that Cheritz has finally completed everything, but I'm not entirely satisfied with the outcome; I had hoped for something different and better. Oh, I forget, I love V too so when I first saw his CG during the meeting, I was like WOW OMG, I went straight to make an edit! Haha.

Yeah man, I knew how it feel to see your character turned out to be not how you want it. I feel the same towards Saeran GE *cough*

Well. Let's just think that, this an AU and Original Story is the true one, since both Casual route/deep route and "Another" story are separate universes, on it own, so let's just focus on what making you feel at ease. Okay? Muah. 😘❤️

#Anas ask #yay a long ass post #I wrote this for 30 minutes LMAOOOOOOO #sorry though #I wan to rant some more but I think it would end up a war lol #so let's just keep what make you happy

[iaintyourbro]

Hello I hope you're having a nice day! :) I'm just wondering, have you read Case of Tifa and seen ACC? If so, I'm curious on what you think of Cloti there. Are they in a romantic couple there? Are they together? Are they sharing a bed? For me, I'm certain they are together, but then CAs always argue that they aren't. They say things like he has his own room and that he wanted to be with A in his dying moments. I'm just interested to hear your opinion. Thank you so much!! Stay safe!

Hey there!

I have not read all of Case of Tifa. I have seen excerpts online. It seems to end in a romantic sense, based on Cloud saying he knows what it now means to have her.

I watched AC... Probably 14 years ago. I didn't like it. It was dark and drab. It didn't make much sense to me at the time, and it aggravated me. If did feel like they were a couple having some issues, and Cloud going to talk to Aerith threw me off. They made the movie extremely depressing and it felt like all that progress cloud made in the OG got thrown out. I was also a teen, and like many of us, didn't fully grasp the OG OR AC.

I just ordered AC Complete and it should be here next week. I plan on watching it again as an adult. The geostigma/terminal illness mentality makes a lot more sense to me now since my father had terminal cancer and tried to distance himself as well. It's a pretty normal reaction, though heartbreaking.

Cloud also became obsessed with saving Denzel. This was driven by the guilt of, in his mind, letting Zack and Aerith die. These types of obsessive behaviors can make it seem that he's not interested. Why do I know this? Cuz I'm the same way. I hyper focus on things and can seem neglectful in other areas, even though I do still care.

When Cloud himself gets geostigma, he's afraid he's going to give it to the other family members, he knows there isn't a cure, thinks he's gonna die and he runs away to try and soften the blow to them.

Tifa, on the other hand, is obviously distraught over this and how he's acting. She doesn't run away, instead, she hides it. Bottles it up. Her confronting him about everything was a huge step for her. He does listen.

Once he does get to talk to Aerith, it's not to tell her he loves her, it's to ask for forgiveness, which she's like why? She never blamed him - his blame stems from the Mt Nibel incident and his own issues with thinking he can't save anybody.

ACC added Zack. I think CC was part of the reason to clear up the relationship with Aerith and Zack. Also to show hey Cloud feels guilty about both of them.

I'm looking forward to watching ACC again. I would say that yes, they're in a relationship. Her sleeping in the kids room seems to be alluding to her being scared that they're missing. It makes sense, parents do that.

Personally I think they were careful on making it too obvious by having them sleep in the same bed or outright saying they're a thing. I've also seen folks that know a lot more about Japanese culture than I do talk about this being a pretty standard thing.

Seeing how upset Cloud is when he finds Tifa in the church is also indicative that she means a lot to him. How he reacts to her being stern with him shows he cares.

I do not think he wanted to be with A in his dying moments. He wouldn't have called her Mom when he is in the Lifestream. Also it'd be a bit awkward with Zack hanging around... I actually did watch the scene with him in the Lifestream on YouTube and thought it was cute. Especially since Zack and Aerith were acting like parental figures, but ultimately, he was too big for them.

It's also been stated multiple times by the devs that Cloud was very happy with Tifa and the kids, which created fear in him. The Charlie Brown thought of...

"I think I'm afraid to be happy because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens."

So, I'd say the building anxiety, the reminder of Aerith's death, the geostigma on Denzel, and then him, he cracks.

However, he was happy. He's happy again in DoC and working closely with the gang. AC is the look after he falls into a deep depression, unfortunately. So that's what we see.

#cloud strife #final fantasy 7 remake #cloud x tifa #cloti #tifa lockhart #ff7r cloud #ff7 advent children #advent children

[96thdayofrage]

Convicting a murderous cop has its consequences. The integrity of a juror in the trial of former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin is being called into question because the juror attended a march for Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. last August, CBS-affiliated WCCO reported on Tuesday. Floyd’s family spoke at the March on Washington, which was intended to commemorate the 57th anniversary of the civil rights leader's famous "I Have a Dream" speech. It also included a voter registration rally, which Brandon Mitchell, the juror in question, told WCCO was the reason he attended. His attire at the event, however, is now being scrutinized after he was photographed in a T-shirt with King's image and the words, “Get Your Knee Off Our Necks,” and “BLM,” which Mitchell explained were broader references to the circumstances of 2020.

“It was huge to get people geared for voter turnout, so being a part of that, being able to attend, you know, the same location where Martin Luther King gave his speech was a historic moment,” Mitchell told WCCO. “Either way, I was going to D.C. for this event, even if George Floyd was still alive.” Floyd is not alive, and don’t for one second let Chauvin’s apparent desperation to get away with murder obscure the fact that Floyd is not here to see his daughter grow up because of Chauvin. Not Mitchell or any other member of the jury.

Chauvin, who is due for sentencing at 2:30 PM ET on June 16, was convicted of second-degree murder, third-degree murder, and second-degree manslaughter last month. Several clips of witness video presented at trial showed him kneeling on the neck of 46-year-old Floyd for more than nine minutes on May 25, 2020, outside of the Cup Foods corner store in Minneapolis. That video went viral and ushered the case onto an international stage, fueling anti-racism and anti-police brutality protests.

Still, Mitchell, juror No. 52 in the trial, told CBS This Morning co-host Gayle King he didn't feel pressure to reach a guilty verdict "at all … And I don't think any of us felt like that. I for sure did not. I for sure did not feel like that,” Mitchell said. “The pressure more so came from just being in the room and being under stress. But it wasn't pressure to come to A guilty verdict." He told King he was stressed about having to come into the courtroom and watch a Black man die every day. “That alone is stressful,” he said. “Coming in each and every day and having to watch somebody die is stressful enough by itself. So anything outside of that was secondary, just because as a human, it's natural to feel some kind of way as you're watching somebody in agony.”

Chauvin's defense attorney, Eric Nelson, brought up the question of just how much outside opinions of the case might be affecting the trial when he didn’t like how Rep. Maxine Waters answered an interviewer's question about what demonstrators should do if Chauvin isn't convicted. “We’ve got to get more confrontational," she said. "We’ve got to make sure that they know that we mean business.” With that, Nelson brought up the possibility of a mistrial and said the jury should have been sequestered from the start of the trial. “My phone gives me alerts on things that just happened. I mean you can’t avoid it, and it is so pervasive that I just don’t know how this jury can really be said to be that they are free from the taint of this,” Nelson said. “And now that we have U.S. representatives threatening acts of violence in relation to this specific case, it’s mind-boggling to me judge.” Judge Peter Cahill admonished Waters but ultimately ruled that her remarks weren’t grounds for a mistrial.

Civil rights attorney Ben Crump, who represents the Floyd family, told TMZ that Mitchell's interview "completely obliterates" any claim from the Chauvin defense that public opinions outside the courtroom influenced the jury.

Rachel Moran, a law professor from the University of St. Thomas, told WCCO an important consideration in the case is whether lawyers did their job in investigating jurors. Mitchell said in a questionnaire WCCO obtained that he never took part in a protest about police brutality and that the phrase Black lives matter simply means Black people "want to be treated as equals and not killed or treated in an aggressive manner simply because they are Black.”

“If he had been asked about it and he tried to hide it, that could be an issue,” Moran said. “But at this point, I don’t see anything, any evidence that he tried to hide it.”

The attorney added that “it’s really important for the viewers at home to know it’s really hard to overturn a conviction, and courts are especially reluctant to interfere with the jury deliberation process.”

Read the transcript of King’s interview with Mitchell from CBS News:

King: 31-year-old Brandon Mitchell was known only as juror #52, and he joins us now. Brandon, we're really glad to see you because all of us wanted to know what happened. So I'd like you if you could, please take us inside the room. I think we were surprised that you're 12 strangers, you didn't know each other, you go in the room — what's the process, and how were you able to reach a verdict so quickly? And good morning!

Juror Brandon Mitchell: Yeah. Absolutely. Good morning to you. First, I want to send my condolences to the Floyd family.

King: Yes.

Mitchell: But when we walked into the deliberation room, the first thing we did is we voted on whether or not we wanted to have our mask on. We made that kind of an ice breaker to get going. We voted to not have our mask on. We took our masks off. We voted for a foreperson, and from there we went straight into the manslaughter charges and took a preliminary vote before doing a final vote on those charges.

King: What was the preliminary vote?

Mitchell: The preliminary vote was 11 of us were already — we were already on board for guilty for the manslaughter. One person was still unsure. And we just went over it as a team, as a group. Each person kind of went down the line on why they thought it was guilty. We did another vote maybe 40 minutes later after we went through everybody, and everybody was on the same page for the manslaughter. It happened really quickly.

King: Did you do that with each of the charges? Is that what you did, took a vote on each of the charges?

Mitchell: Yeah, absolutely. Each charge we did a preliminary vote to see where we were at, if there was anybody that was not on board yet or was unsure. Then we would go around the room, everybody kind of speak on what they think is necessary to speak on. We went over maybe a little bit of the evidence. And then we'd come back with a final vote whenever we thought it was a suitable time.

King: What was the one person unsure about, Brandon?

Mitchell: I think it was just like, the terminology. So within the instructions, some of the terminology can be a little tricky, because it's legal jargon. And so sometimes some of the words can be interpreted differently among people. It was just they wanted to do their due diligence and make sure that they were coming out with the right verdict that they believed in. So they were hung up on a few words. We went through the definitions that were given to us and kind of broke it down from different perspectives to get everybody on the same page.

King: Was there any particular witness that moved you and moved the jury that you said, okay, we're deeply affected by 'fill in the blank'?

Mitchell: So I think as a whole jury, I think Dr. Tobin was the biggest, the most influential witness out of everybody. For me personally, Donald Williams was another person. So Donald Williams and Dr. Tobin --

King: That's the fighter, yeah. The mixed martial arts fighter.

Mitchell: Yeah, so him early on, I felt he set the tone for the rest of the trial. And then when Dr. Tobin came, with him speaking so scientifically but also making it understandable for everyone along with the exhibits that he came with, I thought he just broke it down in a manner that was easy for all the jurors to understand. And I didn't think there was any way to — for the defense to come back after that. I was like, to me, the case was — it was done at that point almost.

King: Did you feel pressure because you knew the world was watching? That, you know, we have to reach a guilty verdict here?

Mitchell: Not at all. And I don't think any of us felt like that. I for sure did not. I for sure did not feel like that. The pressure more so came from just being in the room and being under stress. But it wasn't pressure to come to A guilty verdict.

King: What were you all stressed about?

Mitchell: We were just stressed about just the simple fact that every day we had to come in and watch a Black man die. That alone is stressful. Coming in each and every day and having to watch somebody die is stressful enough by itself. So anything outside of that was secondary, just because as a human, it's natural to feel some kind of way as you're watching somebody in agony.

King: Yeah. I can't imagine, Brandon, what it was like to be able to watch that tape day after day after day, the way you all did.

Mitchell: Yeah. It definitely had its impact on me. There was a few days where I was like, I don't know how I'm going to make it in this next day, especially me as a Black man. And a larger black man, I'm about 6'4", 250 pounds. And some of the testimony is like saying how size can be considered like, you know, is it a risk or threat. Whereas me, I'm a gentle giant. Stuff like that, that affects me in a way that — it's weird. I don't know if it affects anybody else the same way.

King: I understand. I understand what you're saying. How did you all feel about Derek Chauvin, the fact that he did not take the stand? Would that have made a difference to you? We'll never know, but do you think it would have made a difference?

Mitchell: It possibly — it possibly could have. We did talk about, you know, the fact that he didn't. Somebody had brought it up, like they wished he would have, they would have liked to have heard from him. But since it wasn't part of the case, it just is what it is. But yeah, I mean, anything brought in or not brought in, it could have possibly affected it either way. Either way I can't say it would have changed the outcome, but it's a possibility for sure.

King: Do you worry about your safety now? This was such a controversial case. We now know your name, we now know what you look like, we now know that you said you're a large man. Do you worry about your safety?

Mitchell: No, not at all. Not at all. I'm a person that kind of thrives in the positives. So I'm not too much concerned about that. Nor do I dwell on —

King: —the what if's—

Mitchell: —on negativity like that. Yeah, the what if's.

King: And he's going to be sentenced June 25. What do you think is the proper sentence for him, for Derek Chauvin? He's facing up to 40 years.

Mitchell: Yeah. I couldn't say what the proper sentencing would be. You know, I think we came up with the right verdict. You know, guilty on all charges. And you know, I'll let the judge do what he does.

King: All right, thank you very much. We really wanted to hear from you today. It's been a fascinating case that we've been watching.

Mitchell: Yes, thank you.

[buddha-in-disguise]

Will this ever end?

Well I woke up to a shitstorm on Twitter and the Supergirl fandom, with David Harewood.

I can't say exactly what was said to cause David to post what he did as I haven't seen posts he might have done - but his subsequent reactions have unfortunately merely seemed to have exacerbated the issue and inflamed it.

My thoughts though before I go further into this. Also remember these are my own thoughts, I don't expect everyone to agree with me. However I hope I can make some kind of sense with what I'm trying to write down here.

Supergirl this season has one character I'm finding hard to relate to. This has absolutely nothing to do with potential storylines and relationship possibilty, but everything to do with what they have tried to do with William Dey as a whole.

I get the reason he came along in regards Russell and so the Andrea connection. That story made some sense.

What hasn't made sense - William being used as a journalist, when Nia is right there! Nia has barely had any screen time, and virtually none as a journalist; you know - her actual job. I'm not sure what the minutes on screen ratio has been this season between the two, but it has felt completely slanted towards William as a viewer.

First instead of Kara and Nia investigating Leviathan after William was 'exposed' in the earlier episodes, now Nia is sidelined again, because they want Kara to team up with William to investigate Lex.

Why? Why do they need that journalistic pairing, when Nia - who as a Superhero, is better placed if danger from Lex occurs. But no, they're making it about Kara having to work with William because Lex threatened to kill him.

They have a Superhero who is also a journalist right there!

Right. There.

Personally this simply makes no sense to me. Plus if I am being honest, William as a character is bringing nothing to the table for me. He feels more like a token male character because James has left.

That brings me to Dansen. While we had some scenes before Crisis, considering at SDCC we were being told how Dansen would strengthen after those events, again we have seen seconds worth of screen time of Kelly, let alone the lack of Dansen.

We accept it isn't the Dansen show and this isn't about that, but again it feels as if it is being pushed way into the background & Kelly is being underutilised. She works for Obsidian North, yet was nowhere to be seen at the launch of the new tech. Sure, it isn't her area of expertise within the company, but you would expect senior employees to have been at such an important launch.

Plus, she is ex-military, but again nothing has been utilised about that part of her character.

The problems with both these issues is these characters are LGBTQ rep on the show. Representation that is already severely underrepresented on TV. Even allowing for the LGBTQ rep on SG (which is above average), it is still well below the ratio percentages that GLAAD show as being the main demographic of viewers.

So LGBTQ fans also look at non-canon representation as well. They have to, because LGBTQ on screen numbers simply don't reflect what the viewer numbers are. I made a post about it to try & highlight this, which I will link to.

But needless to say, LGBTQ fans also generally have difficulties that a lot of people don't have to face.

This brings me back to David and his lack of understanding that many fans were (looking through the comments), trying to explain to him. That criticism wasn't aimed at him per se (at least that I saw), or his directing or acting of that episode. If criticism was aimed at him, that was and is wrong.

The main criticism I saw was being aimed about elements that the writers and producers had done (Winn's wife being another aspect that was problematic). It was unfortunate that it has coincided with David's directorial episode.

Look, David can direct an episode wonderfully, it can have some great aspects to it, but it can also be highly problematic to some fans, & receive valid criticism for it.

For example, the latest episode of Batwoman. The Alice/Beth story was great. The acting superb. What I found worrying was the way they made Sophie feel guilty for legitimate reasons why she had led a closeted lifestyle. That lifestyle is valid, for Sophie and many LGBTQ people, and for good reason, including keeping some people safe from harm. I felt it was a clumsy attempt for Alice to get into Sophie's mind; it could've been tackled other ways, so it felt wrong they used her sexuality as a way to achieve that. Being closeted for many literally keeps them alive. So that was one hell of a poor choice in my opinion. So, great episode, valid criticism.

I personally find it sad that David hasn't seemed to understand this. Especially considering he only recently tweeted about the lack of diversity on TV for black actors. His argument there applies to what the LGBTQ audience have been trying to explain so many times, both with Supergirl and beyond that.

Except for LGBTQ it goes further, as not only are there LGBTQ, there is further intersectionality that runs through us as a group.

So for example, Kelly is LGBTQ, but Black. She is also a woman. All areas that struggle in their own sphere and marginalised in their own right. Added together, and it makes her representation even more important.

Nia Nal is Transgender. And a woman. Also two areas of intersectionality. If we don't listen to all marginalised people, especially when that intersectionality comes into play, we fail.

David is Black.

But also heterosexual, and male, and honestly, seeing his reaction I felt the heterosexual male with no understanding what the LGBTQ audience was trying to explain come through far more than I imagined I would.

Now of course, it could be David had no intention of coming across in that way. Yet the way he liked certain posts also felt as a complete dismissal of the LGBTQ community as a whole. It felt like the reactions from SDCC 2017 all over again.

Without a doubt some fans were taking it too far. I get that. I don't know how often I have written about fandoms and the way some can behave. However, if David is putting everyone in a fandom as all being problematic (as his liking of Tweets seem to suggest), then that is a very poor take indeed by him, and one I hope he considers.

By taking those steps, he has angered some fans more than was necessary in my view. Like Staz the other day, I know we are all human and sometimes react emotionally. Unlike Staz, who tried to clarify his words and apologised for any upset he might've caused, David seems to have gone the other way and doubled down against fans, blocking even respectful tweets to him that were trying to explain a point of view.

Now before anyone thinks I am hating on David, I'm not. I have supported much of his work.

I am though disappointed that for someone who is marginalised himself, has had mental health struggles, he has seemingly failed to understand that LGBTQ are just as marginalised (if not more so) than he is, & that because of the issues LGBTQ people face, mental health problems are extremely high versus the general population. That some of his wording and liking of tweets have felt like a complete slap in the face for many, who have legitimate concerns about Supergirl at the moment.

As I say, I get some fans take it too far, in all areas of the Supergirl fandom. Outright hate towards anyone is absolutely unacceptable. I also understand that we all react at times that is instinctual because we feel hurt, and that reaction is not as good as it could be.

I just hope that rather than it implode more on us, that everyone takes a step back to try and calm down.

As for the issues of queerbaiting that has risen as a result of the teaser for the next episode of SG. Supergirl in earlier episodes of the season, used parallels to show Lena and Kara alongside canon relationships on the show. To then have other people call fans delusional for seeing those scenes as romantically formulated is not okay! It really isn't. That's hateful, because like it or not, those elements are there.

When I have people who don't watch the show asking if Lena and Kara are together because of clips they might see (straight people at that), that isn't delusional.

But, that isn't an issue the cast should address or make judgement on, or fans to insist they do.

It should though be something asked of the producers and showrunners, because if they have no plans to go through with it - it has been outright queerbaiting this season. Up until this year, they've not done things with notable intent to parallel other relationships. This season they have. The shift felt deliberate.

I know ultimately that this show is about Supergirl, but it is also about those around her as family & friends. I understand there are only so many minutes in one episode. What I don't understand is why those precious minutes are going to a character, when they have one perfectly placed to do the same role. Why they have to potentially explore another relationship, when we have one canon relationship & one relationship that while isn't canon in terms of romantic, it is a big story in terms of best friends, both seemingly sidelined. Which brings me to the Kara fighting for Lena's soul aspect. Again, I am not seeing a lot of fighting for anything, except more and more fans fighting themselves and cast.

I will be honest, I had high hopes for this season. I also knew it was likely going to be pretty confusing at times since it was given as 'our Black mirror season' and 'nothing is as it seems.' I accepted that.

However, all it seems at the moment is a jumbled mess from pre and post Crisis. They just doesn't appear to be any cohesion at all, which is making it really difficult as a viewer. Add in the changes post Crisis and it feels even more of a mess.

Of course, they could bring in more cohesive elements soon, but considering that we know episode 13 is 'It's a wonderful life,' and Alex Danvers in a later episode is wearing a Super suit - I just sense this whole 'nothing is as it seems' side we appear to be getting isn't changing any time soon, & with episodes running out, with so many strings running through at the moment, it feels really discombomulated. If by seasons end, they pull it off and you can look back and see how it's played out as a whole, I will be the first to say well done for that part.

I get that as more characters are added to a show, it can make shuffling screen time for those already established characters harder to achieve that will please everyone, especially when we get invested in those characters.

I do though think right now Supergirl feels chaotic beyond expectation, and no end in sight. I feel there have been too many character additions this season (particularly Andrea & William) that is taking screen time away from Kara, Alex, Nia, Lena, Kelly et al.

That is causing confusion for fans, that is also beginning to become frustration. That frustration is spilling over. Add in the genuine and legitimate concerns over the LGBTQ issues that have arisen, and the frustration has built even more.

Again though, that is something we need to be asking of the producers and show runners, and not pulling the cast into it.

Let's all try less to score points against each other, or make generalisations, as none of that is helpful.

If you can't do that, you will get other fans calling you out.

Let's all learn to step away a bit more when it is obviously getting to the point rational discussion isn't working, to let things calm down.

We all need to try and do better.

#supergirl #davidharewood #supercorp #lgbtq representation

[parkchuuya]

Foreword: The interpretation better known as unpopular opinion by the blogger seeks to give the reader another point of view but mainly to share the blogger's thoughts. It does not necessarily mean to disregard other opinions from the experts. The blogger is just a casual fan who in many reasons can't put down a pen. It may or may not resonate with your own interpretation. If it doesn't, I apologize. Just scroll down. But if it does, welcome to the club.

Date Written: June 3, 2020

Atsushi and Akutagawa has always been ride or die for Dazai.

Dazai's kids are more rampaging than Odasaku's orphans. They just don't go well together. In fact, they would be willing to kill each other when lazily pushed. But these two no matter how much hatred they have, they could create a blast when they work together, so yes Dazai being a fan of "teamwork makes the dream work". But it was not that these two were made for each other to be a younger version of Double Black. In fact, their representation to their senior is much more than just a Shin Soukouku. They both reminded Dazai of his past and present and possibly future.

Back in his Port Mafia days, it's always been fight or die so Akutagawa had to be strong or stronger in order to live because that's Port Mafia. Imagine having the power to control the underground, you have to be strict and merciless and more authorative. Akutagawa's health is crucial that's why Dazai had to break his bones before anyone could kill him for good. This rather cruel treatment Akutagawa received from his mentor crafted a somewhat goal to him as his motive to fulfill the standards Dazai had set. It became his ultimate goal that later gone wrong and bloomed a feeling of anger and hatred. This became more intense when Dazai had gone MIA, abandoned his mission, and left Port Mafia. It's as if Akutagawa had lost all strands of hopes he was willing to build to get that approval and of course who wouldn't get hurt like that. He's ghosted.

But did he really not care about his eldest son?

I think Dazai purposely left that kind of impression to Akutagawa so he would hate him and continue to get stronger and one day prove to him how he gotten strong; and that he would match his soon-to-be partner in crime, Atsushi my baby. That's why whilst fighting his own demons, Dazai managed to escape before anyone could notice that he's sinking... and he wanted Akutagawa to apply all he has taught him since day 1 and one day, be able to finally realize what it meant to be "strong".

On the other hand, Dazai had to tame the beast and recruit him to become a member of Armed Detective Agency. While Akutagawa is in the dark side, Atsushi with his naive, innocent and pure posture needs to be on the lighter side since opposite attracts. Dazai knows Akutagawa will do everything to surpass his goals so he thought he should be fine in the Port Mafia- secretly hiding his intention of preparing the two as mini double black version for the bloody battle against Fyodor the rat Dostoyevsky. As a detective, Dazai's treatment to Atsushi is soft compared to Akutagawa who sufferred in a lot of killings. By murdering people, Akutagawa had somehow found a reason to live not for himself but also for his sister, Gin. Unlike Akutagawa, Atsushi was more vulnerable, more tender that if he's been told to kill himself, he would arguably, eventually rather do over a period of unfortunate time. So Dazai had to carefully mold him and build barriers to Atsushi's fragile vessel sans giving him the idea of being "privileged".

That does mean different treatment means biased?

I don't think that's the case.

Dazai Osamu and The Dark Era, Chapter 3

In the Dark Era, when Odasaku asked Dazai about his subordinate Akutagawa I was convinced that Dazai already  "approved" Akutagawa's strength because if not, then there's no need for him to passively invite him in Port  Mafia. There's no need to waste time of hard training without special treatment. And the question still lingered at the tip of my tongue waiting to recall of what we known as an excuse or "reason". I think Dazai saw Akutagawa in him. No emotion at all. Just a powerful stray dog running around the alley slums, doing everything to survive. He's filled with anger and revenge and that's what keeps driving him to hold on. Even if it's cruel, even if it's painful. Back to history, Dazai Osamu appreciated Ryunosuke Akutagawa and he looked up to him so bad that it affected him when the latter committed suicide. This drove the aspiring author to follow the footsteps of his idol. In BSD, their roles are reversed. It was Akutagawa who was longing for Dazai's appreciation and Akutagawa seems not a fan of his mentor's suicidal habits.

The rather odd truth I found by their relationship was simply assuming. The retrospect taught me to look again in another point of view. Akutagawa is Dazai's past self, emotions, feelings, even boredom. He reminds him of what was the smell of bloodlust and violence again before he realized it was too late. It seems he "hates" Akutagawa because he still could not forgive himself for what happened though no one was saying it's easy. But after the exasperating fight with The Guild, he pulled off his mentor status and finally after a long period of time, he delivered the words by himself in person, "You've gotten strong", a few words enough for Akutagawa to realized Atsushi was right all along and his view of the world was twisted and wrong. Dazai knows it was the only resolution to pave a way for Akutagawa's character development and it needs to be him as his superior.

I think the miscommunication between these two were  notably shown. It was like:

For Dazai: Action speaks louder than words; but

For Akutagawa: The pen is mightier than the sword.

Akutagawa's jealousy or should I say, envy as we follow the chapters and the episode was enormous that it blinded him from the very path he wanted to take. The paces became blurry and muddy it was like he stepped directly on a quicksand and he forgot what he should do at times of chaos that killing is not always the right solution. This is why Dazai could not reach him in the first season's ending song. He does not know when enough is enough and because they were both a shadow of darkness in the past, there was only one boat eligible for one person and Dazai chose to save no one nor himself. This could also explain at least for me, when Dazai touched Atsushi's head, Akutagawa cried in blood. The blood represents his anger saturated with confusion and betrayal. Why did it have to be Atsushi and not him. But this could also explain that the both of them were submerging and they needed someone whose heart is strong no ability could ever tear, someone whose soul is pure and innocent. Someone who understands both good and evil but proceeded with kindness. He did not choose between them. He simply sought salvation and by faith, he met Atsushi.

Changing the focus to Atsushi, who's been tortured in his childhood, tormented, and broken, he was way unfortunate than the both of them. For the sake of his mental health, Dazai had to guide him into the light even though it means staying with him in the present. He even let himself captured by the Port Mafia to obtain information regarding the 7 billion bounty put on Atsushi's head. If someone asks me, I think he's already melting the brick facade he built for himself and Atsushi was the only one who notices that he's trying to get better. Atsushi is the living proof of Odasaku's last words, to be on the side that saves the poor because his life will at least get better, that is... if you're trying to live. Why did he obey Odasaku aside from the fact that he was his only true friend? Wasn't it because he felt guilty or he's just sentimental? No. It's because... he actually wanted to taste how living actually is. And he did. Now, things are going to change. For him, for Akutagawa and also for Atsushi.

And for Dazai, he caught himself tangled by Atsushi's healing abilities. He reminds Dazai of the beauty of the world without violence. Atsushi's view might find argumentative but at least it's philisophical. Atsushi always find the right words whenever Dazai talks to him. A simple nod, and "yes" brought a slight suprise to him. It's Atsushi's nature that even knowing the good and evil, Atsushi wish to perceive good and kindness. And to this extent, the rotten past Dazai was trying to conceal felt a permission to be forgiven. It took only one touch in the forehead for him to approve of Atsushi and as he tried to get along with him, he is also learning and developing. Atsushi might open doors for Dazai and also for Akutagawa to completely move forward.

After the war shin sokoukou had gone through, Dazai showed us that these two when guide together, is like a perfect harmony that without realizing, compliment each others' strength and value thus also discrediting his contribution, for us to realize that one does not need any appreciation or recognition to realize your own worth.

You are worthy and it's something you should NEVER ask validation from nor apologize for.

That's all for today, I'm beat, notice me Chuuya senpai ;-;

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#bungou stray dogs #bsd #literary heroes #ryunosuke akutagawa #dazai osamu #bsd analysis