#i'm not the one in the hospital please don't panic if you read the tags before the post

[adventuringblind]

Entitled To You (3.6K words)

Norstaptri x Reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: An incident with Lance sends the boys into a frenzy. She just wants to do what she loves.

Warnings: Explicit depictions of r@pe, injury descriptions, panic attacks, Oscar plots a murder, Lando throws hands, Car crashes, Author doesn't know legal stuff, Head trauma and blood.

Notes: This one is a request from @Lily234566 I know this wasn't the original pairing but I was struggling to fit the Ferrari boys in there so I had to scale it back... I'm sorry and I hope you still like it! T_T

Side Note: Sorry to the Lance girlies reading this. AND obligatory message of I don't know these people and this is purely FICTION! HEAD THE TAGS! DONT LIKE THEN DONT READ!

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

“Max!” She peeks her head into his driver's room. The bright beaming smile she receives in return after their 1-2 nearly kills her. “They want me for a media thing, apparently.” HIs smile drops into a pout. The sad puppy eyes might convince her to stay. 

“Again? Don’t they know we have plans!

“No, and why would they care anyway?” She looks him up and down and whines because he’s standing in front of her with no shirt on. “Just - I’ll meet you guys back at the room. It’s something to do with being a female in F1… again.”

“I’m starting to think they have nothing else to talk about.” 

She shrugs as she walks out of the hospitality, waving to Christian on her way by. The goal is to get past the Mclaren garage without seeing Lando because otherwise she is not going to the interview. His pout is worse (better?) than Max’s. 

To her pleasant surprise, Laura is the one conducting the interview. “I’m sorry about this being last minute! They said they wanted you to do it with someone else next week and I offered to do it now.” 

The interview passes with ease and thankfully doesn’t take long at all. The banter in-between is also entertaining. 

She’s exhausted when they finish. Ready to go back to the hotel and fall into bed with her boys. Hopefully They’ve ordered food - and dessert. 

The paddock is nearly empty as she makes her way through. Maybe, had she been paying more attention and not focussed on her aching body, she would’ve caught on to the footsteps behind her. 

They are heavy, she assumes possibly a mechanic still packing up to continue on their way to the next circuit. That’s what she still thinks when the hand on her bicep yanks her around the corner. 

If she weren’t as exhausted, then fighting would’ve been a possibility. However, that seems out of the cards as he pins her against the nearest wall. Her forehead hitting the surface hard enough to make her dizzy. 

“Not so confident now, huh?” 

The fuck- “Lance? What are you?-” He slams her head again and cages her body against his own. She flails, only to be slammed again. “Would you stop doing that please?” 

“Not after that stupid stunt you pulled today on track.”

“You mean the one where you showed you don’t know what brakes are?-” Again, her head is sent into the hard surface. She can feel her nose starting to bleed. “Must you?!” She decided to shut up when he does it again and everything starts to go fuzzy. 

His fingers dip beneath the waistband of her fireproofs. The cold evening air hits her bare skin and she panics more than before. Her head is too cloudy to fully comprehend what’s happening. 

“I feel like I'm entitled to a bit of compensation after that stunt.” 

“You’re entitled to nothing. You took yourself out!” She hisses through gritted teeth. Still, Lance continues to get her clothes lower. And slams her head again harder - you know - because she wasn’t disoriented enough already.

“Would you shut up?” She doesn’t say anything this time. Her mouth feels numb and her ears are ringing. Her exposed lower half is met with the bare hands of someone she doesn't want touching her. 

It's - well - it hurts. He's groping at her thighs, ass, even her tits which she isn't sure how he's managing. His hands are everywhere they shouldn't be. 

And then nothing. 

A vague awareness of what's happening seeps through her veins and invades her senses. She tries to scream. Attempts despite the sheer pain of the snap of hips she didn't ask for. 

His finger beat her to it. A hand encloses around her throat and cuts off her oxygen. The black spots dance around her vision. She wants them to stop moving; they are making her dizzy. Or was she already dizzy? 

“See, it's not so bad. Don't you feel less guilty for ruining my race now?” No, she doesn't. She wasn't guilty before. 

She blacks out. 

~~~♡~~~

Waking up with sore limbs and a killer headache is not how she pictured this night going. She tries to yell for help, but a mere creaky rasp escapes. 

When did she lose her voice? The thought makes her panic more. The sob she lets out hurts more than there is sound. 

Her face and hair is sticky. At least Lance had done her the courtesy of not finishing inside of her. 

Still - what the fuck even happened? The fragmented memory is trying to come back to her slowly. Each small piece remembered is another broken cry. 

She can't move. 

It's dark again. 

~~~♡~~~

The anxiety between the three boys is certainly not something they are used to. Oscar can pinpoint the exact moment Lando started overthinking and Max had to bear hug him so he didn't pace a hole into the cement of the parking lot. 

The fourth seat in their car remains empty and their messages have gone unanswered. It's getting more concerning with each passing minute. 

“Max, she always responds.” 

“I know Lando.” 

“She always calls if she's going to be longer.” 

“Lando?”

“Yes?”

“Would you feel better if we went and looked around for her?” 

The Brit nods his head in a fashion that might give him whiplash. It's better seeing him feel helpful then sit helplessly. Though Oscar can't help but agree with Max's original point. that they should wait there at the car just in case since that's where they were supposed to meet. 

Granted, it's only been twenty minutes. It's still long enough to be murdered. 

They Methodically peer around corners and wave at the mechanics who give them skeptical looks. They were supposed to be out for post race celebrations by now. 

Oscar freezes when he sees it. The human shaped lump lying on the ground. He rushes over with long strides. The closer he gets, the more familiar the person on the ground becomes. 

“Max! Lando! I found her!” The other two boys come sprinting in his direction. He's on the ground trying to clear her hair from her face only for it to get stuck in the sticky substance coating her features. 

“What the fuck?” 

Her fireproofs are still on, but it's obvious what happened. The handprints on her neck, the blood trickling down the sides of her face. “We need to bring her to a hospital.” 

Max hoists her up in his arms. Mainly because Lando is on the brink of tears and struggling to breathe through his panic. He loves deeply and with his heart on his sleeve. Oscar just hopes he can keep the Brit calm until they find more help. 

“Can we at least clean her up?” Lando pleads with him. Big Hazel eyes brimming with tears. 

It's always a struggle to tell him no. “We can't, not if it can help us figure out who did it.” The tears start right after that. 

“So that’s what happened then? Someone really-” Oscar has to maneuver the puddle of tears that is his boyfriend into the passenger seat of their rental car. Max tosses him the keys, opting to be with her in the back and keep her comfortable. 

The tricky drive to emergency is more because Oscar is too far in his own thoughts to pay attention to the traffic lights. He can hear Max moving her around, attempting to put pressure where blood still flows freely. 

Oscar doesn’t bother with parking. He pulls off into some empty area and helps Max shoulder her weight inside the doors while Lando runs ahead to find help. 

It’s fast after that. They take her away and start patching her up while the three of them are forced to sit in the waiting room. Oscar and Lando are left to their own devices while Max paces about on the phone with Christian. 

He feels like a knife is being driven through his chest each time his mind tries to come up with what could’ve happened. Who would do something like this? Unfortunately, a lot of people. The question is more of who could’ve done it and gotten away. Someone with access to the paddock this late. Security, perhaps? Maybe even a sleazy mechanic? A driver wouldn’t make any sense… right?

“When will they let us see her?”

“When she wakes up, most likely.”

He’s not sure when he falls asleep. The exhaustion finally hit him like a truck despite his persistence. He’s awoken by Max’s constant shaking and aggressive whispering of his name. 

“-She’s asking for us.” 

He’s up faster than Lando when Jon threatens an ice bath. They follow the nurse down the halls with an uneasy anticipation. They creep inside the sterile room and find her staring at the wall. 

Lando doesn’t hesitate to move further into the room. Always having been more in touch with his emotions then the other two boys. “Hey love, can I come closer?” 

She looks at him. The bandages plastered over the sides of her head and around her face now visible to them. She returns Lando’s gaze with glassy eyes. It’s damn near shocking when she tries to pull things off her body in a desperate attempt to reach for Lando. 

Lando gets to her before she can get everything off, specifically the IV, and catch her arms. Oscar and Max finally pull themselves together and manage to get her to lay back down with some coaxing. 

She’s shaking violently. Her grip on Lando’s arm is sure to leave bruises. “Who - who f-found me?”  

“We did, schat. We got worried when you didn’t respond.” Max drags the two chairs in the room closer and pulls Oscar down into one.  Lando, against all odds, manages to wriggle his way into bed with her. 

“I know who it was. I - well - does anyone else know?” 

“Just Christian and us.” Oscar can feel the fight Max is putting up to not ask her more questions. The way he’s grounding himself with a hand on Oscars knee instead. 

“You don’t have to tell us.” He attempts to reassure. Maybe calm her mind by giving her an option. “Just know we’re here, alright?” 

“I don’t want it to be a big story. It’s already going to be since I can’t be in the car for the next four weeks. Oh fuck - everyone is gonna know-” Lando hushes her; gets her to somehow hold him tighter.

“Christian said it’s up to you, whatever happens.” Max nods at her encouragingly. “We go at your pace.” 

“They did a rape kit. They’ll know who it is. It was all over so it couldn’t have been hard to get DNA - oh fuck” 

Her heart rate picks up. The nurses rush in. They send her back to sleep. 

~~~♡~~~

Max wants to know who it was who touched her. The rage simmering underneath her skin is almost too much to keep contained. 

On the more fortunate side, they were allowed to stay since she wouldn’t let go of Lando. Then when he did have to get up, they rotated. 

The doctors and nurses learned to approach her like she’s a scared animal. The heavy footsteps seem to set her off and there is now a sticky note on the door saying to tiptoe when entering. It’s endearing to see her doctors and nurses trying so hard not to startle her. But seeing as they’ve now had several incidents where she’s panicked, they are taking more caution. 

Oscar and Lando have meandered away in search of food. Max opted to stay put and made the promise to bring him back cheat foods. He’s too stressed to not eat something of comfort. 

Her physio is supposed to come by today with the stuff she left at the track and get an update from the doctors themselves instead of Max’s botched attempts at repeating back. It will also be nice to see her comfortable, as the one blanket that travels with her everywhere will also be dropped off. 

“Max?” He tightens his hold to show he’s listening. “It’s not fair… You, Lando, and Oscar make a mistake on track and nobody does that to you. I - It wasn’t my fault.” 

The thing is, Max is smarter than people give him credit for. The only incident on track was with Lance. An incident that was his own fault. “He’s at fault, not you. None of this is your fault.”

“They are going to say I was asking for it or something.” 

“In those fireproofs? The only ones asking for it are me and Oscar… for obvious reasons.” He chuckles proudly at his little self compliment. 

It also manages to get her to crack something of a half smile. “Are you complimenting your own ass?” 

“And what if I am?” 

She doesn’t eat anything despite it being sat in front of her. Soft foods are the only thing she’ll be eating. Her throat, albeit not as bad as it could've been (thank you F1), is still damaged and needs to rest as much as possible. 

They had to keep her for observation due to where the head wounds had been. It’s been a rough thirty-six hours, but they are managing.

Despite the hectic situation, Max has come to learn that the female lying in the hospital bed is a better person then the rest of them. Oscar was detailing a full proof murder plan while she was telling him not to make it a bigger deal then it is. To which Oscar politely put his ten step plan with four contingencies down and told her that it’s ‘what he had coming to him’. 

Max has not had to stop someone from assassinating a rival before, but Oscar seems like a reasonable guy. “Death is too good for him.” 

“Mm, you’re right, I’ll just make sure he doesn’t die then and can’t see my face.” 

“Or, we make his life a series of inconveniences! I feel like daddy’s money could get him good therapy. It can’t solve every minor problem.” Lando has a gleam in his eyes. 

Him and Oscar start pouring over ideas once more. The girl simply shakes her head and goes back to eyeing her pudding like it’s assaulted her. “I don’t want to leave here, Max.”

“Why not? I’d assume you want to go home? Sleep in a comfortable bed?”

“Out there, they can get to us. Here is safe.” 

He considers how to reassure her. Only, there is nothing he can think of. The truth is that outside of this hospital room, there is no guarantee they won’t run into trouble. 

“I can’t promise that we'll never have something bad happen again. But-” He looks to the McLaren duo brainstorming ways to make the Aston Martin garage regret existing. “We’ll be there for each other. We’re here for you. When you want us and when you need us, yes?” 

“Pinky swear?” She extends her pink to him. 

Max accepts and curls his pinks around hers. “Pinky swear.” 

~~~♡~~~

It’s not fair really, that they had to leave to go do things. Lando would prefer he at least stayed with her so she isn’t alone. Alas, they are preparing for her discharge and he had to run around getting things together for their trip back to Monaco.

He comes back to a partially opened door and smiles at the other two boys being able to get back before him. Then again, as he gets closer he can hear the angry tone. One that Max uses when he’s pissed off about something. 

Lando panics and rushes inside. Only to be met with the sight of the last person he wants around right now. 

Now - he wouldn’t say he’s prone to violence. Lando prefers to keep the peace when it comes to conflict unless he’s trying to piss someone off on purpose to get a reaction. This is not one of those times. 

Lando’s knuckles collide with the Canadian’s jaw faster than he can fully become aware of what he’s doing. Lance stumbles backward and holds his jaw, glaring at Lando like he’s the one in the wrong here. 

“Get out!” 

“We were just talking-” 

“I said. Get. Out.” He’s seething. The thudding in his chest becoming louder with each second Lance remains in this room. 

He’s not prone to violence. 

Really, he’s not. 

Yet the second crack of knuckles into Lance's chin gives him some sick satisfaction. Isn’t there something about equilibrium? Can he pin this on restoring the balance or something? Regardless, he isn’t going to dent the fact that it feels good. 

The nurses come running and start asking questions. Max and Oscar have to drag Lando away kicking and screaming. 

Worse is when they try to tell him that there are pictures out on social media. Christian has been calling Max non-stop. Oscar has been dealing with Zak. Their relationship isn’t a secret and neither is their current location.  

“They're sending us a different car to see if we can’t get out discreetly.” 

“What happened with Lance, Lan? Are you alright?”

Everyone is panting. Their eyes trained on the door. “I punched him. I restored the equal-brey-um… thing.” 

“Equilibrium.” 

“Yeah that!” 

He’s not sure how they get on the plane. He’s still amped up about the whole punching thing and running purely off adrenaline. 

They’ve been sitting in silence, mulling over their options. Creating statements they can put out. It’s hectic and they keep trashing them because nothing fits. 

The female has been apathetic. The last thing she wanted was for this to get out and now it has. Seemingly everything is flashing before her eyes. Her career will be gone soon enough, so what’s even the point? 

“Don’t post anything. We don’t have an obligation to confirm or deny the rumors. If anything, we can say that you were just driving me to the hospital and being good friends or whatever.” She won’t look at them. Still - Lando can hear how upset she is, the waiver in her voice. “I’m going to be kicked out anyway.” 

“Christian said-”

“Damn what Christian said! He knows this isn’t going to get any better and if I say who it was then Daddy’s Money is just going to pay his way through.” She's hyperventilating now. Her body collapses against her seat and Oscar makes an effort to get her to lean against him. “It’s not fair!”

lando Can’t help but share her feelings.

~~~♡~~~

She stays holed up in the Redbull garage the next weekend. The appearance is hard, people want to ask her questions. Her boys had been caught in the middle of the riptide and haven’t come back to shore yet. 

At least she’s here. She’s trying her hardest to look stronger than she is. On the inside things are falling apart. 

The team knows to give her space and not ask about the ordeal. She takes refuge in Max’s room when things are too much and the other drivers keep their distance. 

They know it was one of them. She’d been adamant on not saying who it was, but it’s obvious there are sixteen who it could have been, given her partners insistence that none of them go near her garage for the time being.  

She just wants this whole thing to blow over. She wants to lay in bed with her lovers and not flinch when they go to touch her. 

She knows, however, that until she deals with things that healing can’t happen like it should. Or at least, that’s what her therapist says. The one she is now required to see. 

Things get worse when she’s back in the car. Her media duties are limited so she can focus on driving and ‘listening to her body’ as her physio likes to say. 

She can’t hear her body over the sound of her mind going staticy as Lance closes in on her. The catalyst for everything. She panics and ends up in the wall. Not the worst crash ever, but certainly hurts her pride more than it has already.

The thing is, it keeps happening. Even as she’s able to let her boys back in. As her podium finishes start to come back. Her fireproofs (which they’d gotten her all new ones) start to feel comfortable again and she doesn’t feel the need to be out of them the second the race is done. Still, Lance is using this to his advantage. 

Finally, after he almost killed her on track (again), she’s had enough.

The trial goes better than she thought it would. Despite the money differences, Lance won’t be able to race anymore. It’s not some grand spectacle either, just an announcement like usual. It’s more the closure she needed versus the publicized drama it could have been. 

She wins the next race. 

“If I ever see him again, it will be too soon.” 

“It’s been over a year now, Lan. I’m getting better.” There is a genuine smile on her face. The car awaits to take them back to the hotel. It was here that it happened. She almost considered not racing because of it.

“Lando got a taste of blood and now he’s feinding for it.” Max has a comforting hand around her waist. A grounding presence. 

“I mean, I never threw away my murder plot…” 

“You’re a genius Oscar!”

She shakes her head. It’s not like any of this has been easy. It never is. Still - her boys are here and they’ve been so patient. 

“There’s her smile.” They all beam at her. 

She smiles back.

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[appocalipse]

hi!! could you please do a steve drabble with 60 & 70? and congratulations on 600!! <3

thank youuuu 💘 i love your writing btw <3  also i turned this into an exes to lovers, i hope it's okay and to your liking 💋 | “You were never my second choice” & “They're not you” with Steve Harrington.

“I think we should stay a little bit more, just to be sure,” he says. “What if you have a concussion?”

Steve Harrington is standing by the bed, shoulder resting against the white plain wall like he's all calm and relaxed — though his expression is anything but that.

He was at work when he got the call; now he could honestly thank his mom for something: when the local hospital called, she picked up the phone at home. She even went as far as to call him at Family Video and let him know the reason behind the call: your girlfriend, she'd said, she's in the hospital.

Steve didn't even acknowledge the fact his mom didn't know you two had broken up — though it has been a few months now — because when she repeated your name, he felt as if the world had stopped spinning. He mumbled a few almost unintelligible words at Robin — Y/N, accident, gotta go. But he thought she somehow understood, because she nodded her head vigorously and said go, watching as he clutched his keys tightly, running as if his life depended on it. 

Well, not his life. 

Your brain now registers his arms crossed over his chest, a familiar crinkle of worry between his warm brown eyes; he straightens his posture and stares down at you with utmost intensity. 

“I don't have a concussion,” you guarantee, your voice small. You're exhausted, yes, but his presence, his proximity, keeps you alert. 

You shift on the bed, about to get up, and he rushes to your side at lightning speed. 

“Hey, hey, what are you doing?” Steve nods at your ankle — on a cast — and the crinkle between his brows deepens when he turns to you once again.

You're painfully aware that he's touching your forearm — gently, respectfully, only in hopes of keeping you steady should you need it…but still touching your forearm. Not completely unlike all the times he’d touched this exact same spot before, in a completely different situation, an utterly different dynamic... 

“I'm going home. They said I could.”

“They didn't say you should.”

“It's just a sprained ankle, Steve. I'll live.”

You stand. He looks about ready to panic, hand firm on your arm.

He's wearing his Family Video uniform, you notice. Stripes under the vest, even that little name tag. Up close, he smells like good memories and heartbreak, like lazy mornings and sweet words and all the things you wish you could forget. 

But you can't. 

“Were you at work?” you ask.

His gaze is soft. He can read you like a book. “Don't worry about that.”

“They shouldn't have called you,” you insist, too quickly, too embarrassed. Too familiar. “I'm sorry, I completely forgot you were my emergency contact. I should have-”

“I don't mind.”

“I don't want to bother you.”

“You're not bothering me.”

“Steve,” you try to adjust yourself to the additional weight of the cast on your left foot. He stares at your face as if he is afraid you might break. “You should go back to work. I don't want you to get fired because of me.”

“I won't be fired. Robin will cover for me. Are you sure you don't want to stay a little longer just to be sure?”

“Steve.”

“I can't just leave you here. Let me drive you home, at least.”

His tone is almost pleading.

“You don't have to,” you say, well aware that every minute this close to him is a new opportunity to make a mistake. “I can call-”

Who? None of your close friends have a car, you recall, maybe a bit late. You couldn't lie; he would know in a heartbeat. Steve also knows that your father is normally out of town this time of the month, and so all your excuses die down your throat.

All but one.

“I could take the bus,” you shrug. Sounds silly even for you.

Steve frowns. “Don't be ridiculous.”

Later, when you reach your front door with his arm around your waist — for support and nothing else, you assure yourself —, you’re not really sure of the hows and whys, and maybe it’s better that way. 

There are memories coming to the surface; you try to push them to the back of your mind as he leans down to grab the spare key. It’s under a small vase beside the porch, but he remembers it on his own. You don’t have to say anything.

You both enter. The house feels oddly warmer.

The sun is setting outside, painting his silhouette golden against the doorframe. “Are you hungry?”

He gently hands you the crutches you got from the hospital, making sure you have a firm hold on them before letting go. 

“I’m not gonna break, Steve,” you say. As if his concern doesn’t make you feel all warm inside.

“I know,” he’s biting the inside of his cheek. Anxious. Not looking at you at first, then staring like there was no other choice. “So, are you? Hungry?”

“I don’t know. Not really.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

He takes your silence as a bad sign.

“I”ll make something for you,” he says.

“Steve-”

But he’s already moving on to the kitchen, towards the fridge and the cabinets. He knows where everything is.

You half walk, half limp towards him with the help of the crutches. He watches your every movement from the corner of his eyes, trying to be subtle — but failing. He looks like he’s experiencing physical pain just from seeing you hurt.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Sit down and rest. Please?” Steve indicates a chair nearby, hands quickly sorting through everything you have in the kitchen — not much other than a bunch of ramen and a few carrots, he notices, defeated. And worried. How are you even alive eating like this?

He’ll lecture you about that later. Maybe he can even convince you to let him go grocery shopping for you.

Steve settles on a canned soup he finds stored in the back of the cabinet after checking if it’s not expired. He is halfway through warming it up when he glances over his shoulder and catches you staring back at him.

An eternity seems to pass between the moment your eyes meet and when you open your mouth and say, not particularly thinking it through before doing so, “I heard you had a date tonight.”

He’s taken by surprise, that much is clear. “I…Who said that?”

“Dustin.”

Steve rolls his eyes, turning his back on the soup once he’s sure it’s safe to leave it on its own. “Of course he did.”

“It’s okay,” you say. And it should be.

He’s silent for a moment. Then he sits down across from you, leaning back on the chair with his arms crossed. So close yet so far. 

“Is it?” he asks.

“Of course.” No, it’s not.

His proximity is suddenly suffocating, his gaze suddenly heavy. Your eyes prickle and you’re not sure why.

“It smells good,” you stand up, not bothering, or remembering to, grab the crutches as you start for the stove, not one bit interested in the soup but pretending to be so. 

Steve is up in no time. Which is good, because you trip almost immediately, and his hands on your waist are the only thing keeping you from falling over unceremoniously.

But now he’s close. Closer than before. Closer than he’s been for the last few months you’ve spent apart.

“Careful,” he says, not moving an inch.

Your traitorous, traitorous eyes end up on his lips. You don’t want to get away from him, but you must. 

And yet, you don’t move.

Then, unexpectedly, almost unintentionally, he lets out, “You know none of these dates will ever lead anywhere, right?”

You’re not entirely sure you’re breathing now.

“Why not?”

“Because,” he whispers, taking his time, “they’re not you.”

Or maybe you’re breathing too fast. Is there such a thing? Suffocating on too much oxygen?

Maybe more like on too much love.

“Steve,” you mumble. He leans down, closer, the sound of his name on your lips pulling him in. 

Then….

“We broke up.”

“No,” he says, lips brushing against yours as he speaks. “You broke up with me.”

He tilts his head to the side, too close, and your breath catches in your throat. 

“Steve.”

His voice is nothing but a whisper, “I miss you.”

Your lips part. You wanna reply I miss you too, so much, but you’re breathing each other, his hands now hugging you tighter, closer, more desperate, and there’s a voice in your head saying you should probably remember why you broke up with him on the first place.

So you do.

“I can’t do this. We can’t do this. You’re…”

You step back, not half as gracious as you’d hoped, but still — out of his reach. He lets you. No resistance, arms falling back to his sides.

His eyes tell a different story, though.

“I’m not the one you’re missing,” you say, your own eyes prickling with tears. “Not really.”

“Y/N-”

“I don’t wanna be your second choice, okay? I won’t.”

“You were never my second choice!”

He sighs; licks his lips, runs a hand through his hair. Steve’s a mess; he wants the words, the right words this time, but he feels like he can’t think straight, like you’re slipping through his fingers once again.

It’s complicated. Everything is so complicated. 

He wants to make it simple.

He takes your hands in his; gentle, familiar, comforting. Your touch anchors him, his thoughts, his feelings — here, where he wants to be.

“There was never even a choice to make, Y/N,” he brings your hand to his chest, movement gentle, and places it over his heart; carefully, in no rush, finding the exact spot where you can actually feel his heart beating under your palm. 

For you.

Maybe he’s being cheesy, he thinks. But he's helpless; Steve couldn’t care less if he does.

“It has always, always been you, from the moment we met, this heart has been nothing but yours, all yours, Y/N. And even if you don’t want it- even if-” he gives your hand a gentle squeeze, eyes wandering everywhere as he tries to grasp the words once again. “I was yours long before I had the guts to let you know. I'd rather be here eating canned soup with you then anywhere else with anyone else.”

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington oneshot #steve x reader #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fic #stranger things #stranger things drabble #stranger things oneshot #stranger things imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n

[covencupid]

We've Never Met

CW/TW: Violence, stalking, manipulation, amnesia/memory loss, minor character death, harassment, police mismanagement, eventual smut.

Pairing: Danny "Jed Olson" Johnson X F!Reader

Tags will be updated as needed.

Summary: They called you the "Miracle of Lily Lake" after you woke up from your month-long coma. You were alive after a brutal attack on New Years by a vicious killer that had targeted the residents of the sleepy town of Lily Lake, Texas. They say it's a blessing not to remember what happened that night. After several futile attempts to aid authorities, and countless therapy sessions that ended equally fruitless, you concede to the loss of your memory. Maybe it is better that you don't remember. He's gone after all. After you were found, there were no other murders that followed. It ended with you.

It was time for a change. Lily Lake held the remains of a life you could hardly return to. No one knew how to treat you, everyone wanted to be the one to wrestle a memory out of you. When the opportunity arises for a fresh start you welcome it with open arms and make your way to sunny Florida to give yourself a chance at a normal life.

Lily Lake was too much of a close call for Danny. The bitch totally went off script. It was time to ditch Texas. People were far too neighborly, and these state troopers hid in the long stretches of uninhabited land like lions in tall grass. Nope, fuck that.

Danny has started over in Roseville, Florida and everything is going peachy-fucking-keen. His job at the paper allows him to have one hand on the crime and the other on the reporting. Everything is coming up Danny in his new habitat, until he spots a far too familiar face, back from the dead and slinging coffee in his favorite coffee house. What the fuck?

A/N: Before you begin I would like to thank y'all for the support. When I say I'm rusty, I'm rusted, sat unused in a shed rusty. I will try to be diligent about tagging, but please don't hesitate to bring up anything you'd like tagged. I hope y'all enjoy. This chapter is pretty much all exposition, but we're getting to the meat soon. BIG HUGE FAT THANKS to @mamamemequeen for feeding me with inspo and reading this first. The title and this story is inspired by the Neko Case song of the same name. Listen to Neko. She will change your life.

We've Never Met

I

February 1991

        The cold chill of a soul snakes its way up the breathing tube into your lungs. With a lightning rod of pain electrifying your senses from within, this is what it feels like to be born. But there are no awakening cries from you, only a blearily shifting gaze that seeks to make sense of the blurs and sounds that are developing around you. As the soft edges harden into complete shapes, you pick up on the chorus of bell tones and chimes that heralded your arrival into this room. The world seemed to form beneath your weight that felt at once painfully dense and nearly ephemeral. While your senses flickered to life, your mind began to take stock of the room you found yourself in. 

       Your eyes scanned the clean, clean room. The blinds have been drawn closed but thin ribbons of light streamed into the room. The realization that you were in a hospital room hit at the same time as your throat felt the tube hitting its walls. The panic at the sudden awareness of your senses made your heart race. With a chorus of bells, two nurses burst into the room. There was a moment before they rushed to help you where they seemed to be just as shocked as you were to be in that room. 

What followed was a stream of questions that made you feel like an alien being interrogated after landing on Earth. Every answer you gave seemed to disappoint and prompt another question. After your back and forth with representatives from Earth you were left alone in the clean room for some time. You could hear excited chatter outside the door. Through the windows you could see the scrambling, scattering movements of the team of nurses that were previously fussing over you. They dispersed like a swarm of insects would under the flash of a sudden light. The moment of peace that followed was punctuated with an encroaching feeling of dread, but you couldn’t exactly place where it was coming from. As it stood, finding out the source of your anxiety was the least of your concern when your body felt like the meat had been wrenched from the bone and put back together in the wrong places. The dim light still felt like it shone too bright. You looked down at your arms to find them littered with cuts and bruises in the places not covered by a cast. The more you looked at them, the less you felt certain that they truly were your arms. 

Did your arms always look like this? Underneath the injuries, did they always look like that? What did your arms look like before? Before? Before what exactly? Something had to happen. If it did, and it most certainly did, you had to remember. You would remember, right? You could not possibly forget something that made you feel as though you were turned inside out. But where was the memory? Your mind desperately tried to grab at nothing. You tried to refer back to a blank space in your head. There was nothing to pull from. There was nothing but the clues of your wounds to make sense of. The click of the door being opened broke you from your steady spiral.

You looked up to see three men eyeing you with what looked like a mix of reverence and trepidation. The man in the clean white coat, the doctor, walked ahead of the two other men. He wore a warm smile and spoke in a measured, reassuring tone. 

“(Y/N), my name is Dr. Ortiz. I’m very glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?”

“Uh, I’m ok.” The pleasantry rolled off your tongue without thinking. No, definitely not ok. “I’m not, I mean-” you took a moment to process what exactly you wanted to say to this doctor. Of the millions of questions racing through your head, none came to mind. Each complaint and doubt that bubbled in your mind died in your throat. You stared blankly at the doctor hoping he could look at you and just know, as a doctor, what was wrong with you and how to fix it.

“It’s ok, you must have a lot of questions, and we’re here to help.” Though you felt a bit more at ease at the warm reassurance from the doctor, that nagging dread kept ebbing in from the corners of your eyes. The doctor turned to his left and gestured to the man closest to him. “This is Detective Keller,” the detective responded by flashing a tight smile that did not reach his eyes. “And this is Lieutenant Garza,” the doctor gestured to the man on the detective’s left who opted to sport the same rigid smile while eyeing you closely. The doctor pulled a chart by your bed and flipped through the pages before exhaling a breath he didn’t seem to know he was holding. “What is the last thing that you remember?”

Well fuck.

Your mind went back to grasping at unseen straws. You had memories. You knew the sky was up, the ground was down. You… worked. Yeah, you worked, you had a job. At… somewhere. You remember your mom, her yelling at you before a winter dance your sophomore year of high school, her making you an easter basket of alcohol when you turned 21. What was in between? You remember drinking coffee with your sister when she bought that fancy espresso machine. That machine, she bought it with her bonus money. She got a bonus because… what did she do? She sold stuff? No, she wrote something? Advertising! She wrote copy, and she’s really good, and that year your old jeep broke down on the highway and you called your sister scream-crying about how much you loved her and how scared you were. Right, you loved rides in that thing. The Jeep. You remember going inside the car while it was raining hard. There was something wrong. It smelled wrong. Strong cologne, a presence you can taste. But there was nothing after or before. When did that happen? You held loose pieces that weren’t enough to give a satisfactory answer.

“I remember things, like my family and stuff. I don’t remember how I got here, if that’s what you meant.”

The men exchanged looks, a whole conversation had before you with eyes only.

“(Y/N), we know this is probably all very confusing, and we will answer any questions you have about what I’m going to tell you,” the detective inched closer. His tone was soft, but his face remained cold and speculative. “You were attacked in a home you were housesitting. We believe it was an assailant that we suspect is tied to a string of break-ins and murders around Lily Lake. What we know is that there was a struggle starting on the ground floor that moved to the second floor balcony. Is any of this sounding familiar? Any details you remember?”

Attacked. Assailant. Murders. Struggle. Balcony. Nothing.

“I was housesitting? For who?”

The men exchanged looks again. Silent disappointment shared between them.

“Kenneth and Delilah McGary. They told us you’ve house-sat for them before. We have reason to believe that you were not the intended target for this attack. Mrs. McGary had reported strange, threatening phone calls in the days leading up to the attack. The McGary’s believed that Delilah McGary was being targeted so they decided to make a sudden trip to the in-laws for the new year out of fear for her safety.” The lieutenant finally spoke up.

The names did not sound familiar, nor did any of the details that they claimed you lived through. Still, you felt a tug of resentment knowing that it shouldn’t have been you. It should be whoever Delilah McGary was. She should be the one that is lying broken in this bed. She should be the one trying to piece together her life. There were no words that would properly translate the rage you felt towards a woman you at one point knew, and the person that wanted to kill her. The person that existed in the shadows of your memory, sheltered in the dread of whatever it was that you lived through. Instead of words, a blur of tears muddled your vision before falling freely down your cheeks.

The men spoke in their silent language for a moment before the lieutenant took a seat by your bedside. “This is a lot. I know.” Lieutenant Garza’s face broke from its neutral demeanor to shift to a weary gaze. You hate the look of pity he gives you. “But if there is anything, anything at all, that you recall from that night. No matter how insignificant it may seem. Any stray detail you may remember. It’s ok if nothing comes up now-” you cut him off.

“The new year- you said it was the new year. When it happened, I mean.” You couldn’t remember the holidays.  Who had you spent them with? Why did thinking about the new year make the hairs on the back of your neck rise and make you feel as though your brain would come to a head through your skull and spill out. 

10…9…8…

“Yes, we believe that the perpetrator used the commotion of all the fireworks and parties on the block to cover his attack.”

Right. The fireworks. 7…6…5…

“Thankfully you had been found not too long after midnight after a neighbor happened to see you on the ground from their second floor window following your fall off the balcony.”

The fireworks. The balcony. The fireworks. The balcony.

“The witness had said that she had seen you holding onto something, possibly a hood or a type of mask, but we were not able to find what she saw. Maybe the perp retrieved it before fleeing the scene?”

4…3…2…

Balcony. Fireworks. Mask. Balcony. Fireworks. Mask. Balcony. Fireworks… that smell. Someone on the block had started their fireworks early. It scared me, but at that moment I felt something else. I smelled it first, that overwhelming presence. Cologne, just like the one in the jeep.

”New Years alone and nothing to do...”

1…

“Poor bunny.”

#danny johnson x reader #danny jed olsen johnson #dbd ghostface x reader #dbd ghostface #ghostface x reader #ghostface smut #ghostface fanfic #danny johnson smut #danny johnson x y/n #ghostface x you #ghostface dbd #ghostface x y/n #danny johnson x you #SoundCloud

[safeplacesnupin]

Snupin Fanfic Year in Review

Hey friends! So I really want to start promoting more amazing Snupin fanfics and I thought this might be a good way to start. I'm going to go through my bookmarks and select one (or two, or three) Snupin fics I read for each month and bookmarked and recc it in this thread :D Sorry if I don't tag every author but if you know their tumblr PLEASE tag them! *disclaimer* I didn't get an AO3 to bookmark until July so the first few months are just ones I had favorited in my browser until I got an AO3 LONG post ahead! A bunch of Snupiny goodness!

🦔 January - Triquetra by Contrarian_Hedgehog 🦔

Summary on AO3: With the war fast approaching, Snape is forced to rely on Lupin and Black in order to secure his place in Voldemort's circle. Can they get past two decades of hostility? After a month of cohabiting, being around each other gets easier yet so much more difficult. Notes: This is actually a Snackin fic! A poly relationship between Remus, Severus, and Sirius. It has such a fantastic 'I don't want to do this but I have to' into a full blown relationship and it comes with such spicy art and scenes. 16 chapters total. Read: Triquetra

⚔️ February - Lily's Boy by SomewheresSword ⚔️

Summary on AO3: Before his third year of Hogwarts has even begun, Harry faces three whole weeks of unsupervised time in Diagon Alley. In that time he takes a trip to Gringotts - and that changes everything.

Burdened with the knowledge that Dumbledore has been blocking his family magic, and manipulating far more than he ever thought possible, Harry doesn't know who he can trust; but he knows he can't keep going that way. There's a whole world of lore and politics and history to catch up on, and the more he learns, the more Harry realises his true place in the world, and how much is being kept hidden from him. All the while, Dumbledore's twinkling eyes are constantly watching, and Harry can't let on how much he knows.

With help from unexpected places, Harry starts on a journey to end the war, and reshape the wizarding world. With how much he looks like James Potter, people have forgotten one important thing about him - he is Lily Evans' son, and she was one hell of a witch.

Notes: Buckle up for a long, fantastic fic my friends! Lily's Boy is 109 chapters! This focuses a lot on Harry as I'm sure you could guess (Drarry specifically), but Snupin is a huge focal point in this fic and I would not call it background. It's brilliant worldbuilding earn it this February spot!

Read: Lily's Boy

🧁 March - Have Your Cake and Eat It by Cunegonde 🧁

Summary on AO3: Lying in hospital after the Battle of Hogwarts, Remus Lupin has a lovely lucid dream that he's gone back to his school days at Hogwarts. Only the day passes, then another, and another, and soon he must face the terrifying possibility that it isn't a dream — that he has irreparably altered the events of the past.

Please be advised, this one contains Adult Themes. Just, not so much in the fun flirty way, more in the midlife existential crisis way.

Notes: Primarily following Remus around as he gets transported back in time to his school days?! And how he falls for our lovely Severus Snape while trying not to mess up reality. YOU WILL CRY. Bittersweet ending warning on this one but so worth the read. 33 chapters

Read: Have Your Cake and Eat It

🦡 April - For Once Seen by diandrastrikesback 🦡

Summary on AO3: “Get the shutters,” he said stiffly. 

“Want to see you,” Lupin whispered into his hair. 

Snape’s panic rose. He fumbled with his words as his heart beat up his throat. “No. Erm…oily hair…you know, bad skin,” he stammered quietly. 

Notes: A short drabble and first ever time something of mine inspired anything. ToT <3 Set in the summer, Remus sneaks over to Sev's house to have some fun. Sev isn't confident in his appearance though.

Read: For Once Seen

🐍 May - The Heir to the House of Prince by A_LoveUnlaced and elphi13 🐍

Summary on AO3: Summer of 4th year and Harry's all alone, dealing with his grief and the sudden revelation that James Potter is not his father. Support comes in a strange form. The form of Theo Nott, son of a death Eater. A strange friend who says he'll help him find his true father, whoever this Lord Prince might be.

Notes: Back to the long fics; 87 chapters AND this is a part of a currently ongoing series. Sev is actually Harry's father and wow is that a shock to Harry! This fic features Snupin and a Theo/Harry pairing and does a brilliant job focusing on both. Extremely compelling read. Severitius.

Read: The Heir to the House of Prince

🩺 June - Not Quite What the Doctor Ordered by Arionrhod and McKay 🩺

Summary on AO3: Severus Snape is a brilliant diagnostician, but it turns out that Remus Lupin is a very difficult case, in more ways than one.

Notes: I'm not usually one for super AU fics but this one takes the cake. Severus is charactarized fantastically and the story is so very good! This is completely non-magic and the relationship between these two is just chefs kiss! 4 chapters.

Read: Not Quite What the Doctor Ordered

🥇 July - With Every Step I Rise and Fall by @miffmiff 🥇

Summary on AO3: After the war, Remus thinks that all hope is lost of ever reconnecting with Severus. He may be in for a surprise though.

Notes: So I have this secret extra ranking I call 'The Golden Shelf.' It's the best of the best, and while many of these fics in this list hold that rank, THIS is the fic that inspired me to make that ranking at all. The very first fic on my golden shelf! This takes a look at how Severus and Remus grapple with the past and embrace each other. Charactarization feels real and so spot on. 1 chapter.

Read: With Every Step I Rise and Fall

Honorable Mention for another fic I read in July: Because He Really Knows Me by flyfreewithme776 is an AU fic where Remus is a cute barista and Severus is pining even if he keeps making his drinks wrong!

🎁 August - The Great Hogwarts Christmas Gift Exchange Debacle of 1996 by Snegurochka 🎁

Summary on AO3: Ron wants Luna, but Luna wants Ginny, and Ginny wants Harry, and Harry wants Hermione, but Hermione wants Lupin, and Lupin wants… Snape? Oh, what tangled webs we weave, when Dumbledore sets up a little seasonal fun for a group of hormonal teenagers spending their Christmas at Grimmauld Place – with two angsty thirty-somethings who have quite enough of their own problems to be getting on with.

Notes: This was a very long 1 chapter fic that was such a delight to read! The summary doesn't do it justice and I'm not sure that my little notes can either, but please give this a shot! In August like me, or right now; perfect for the holidays! Hilarious misunderstandings and a wonderful ending await you.

Read: The Great Hogwarts Christmas Gift Exchange Debacle of 1996

Honorable mentions for a few other fics I read in August:

Batten Down the Hatches by @diandrastrikesbackk is a heartbreaking, fantastic little fic that pays homage to many other Snupin fics. A look at the life of the Snupin fandom as seen by the duo themselves <3

Drifting Satellite by the_throwaway_account is a slight AU with an angsty Remus trying to cope with his lycanthropy with no supportive family or friends. Enter: Sev

🛶 September - I Lie In Your Charms by KALA @kalainthecanoe 🛶

Summary on AO3: When Severus Snape banked on being dead at the end of a war, it was as much of a shock as a burden to find out he was very much alive. He'd rather welcome oblivion and be known as a hero, than watch himself become a listless ghost of his former self. He never expected his Life After Death would contain much but living an isolated, quiet, life. Instead he somehow ended up returning to Hogwarts to teach, becoming involved in student affairs he'd rather stay far removed from, and most importantly, having copious amounts of sex with his old childhood enemy- Remus Lupin.

Recovery is a fickle and long road, and he certainly didn't expect his would involve accepting Remus as part of it.

Notes: KALA is an incredible writer in every fic they craft, but this is one of my favorites. As the summary suggests, spice fest! But this is no plotless hotness by any means. Who doesn't love using sex as a distraction from trauma? Wonderfully written 12 chapters.

Read: I Lie In Your Charms

🎂 October - October 1984 by @bluesundaycake 🎂

Summary on AO3: Severus knows something is wrong at Hogwarts, but he can't quite figure out what.

A story built from the daily prompts for Snapetober 2022. Accidentally snupin.

Notes: So I loved this one so much I had to draw art for it. Seriously I can't say enough good things about this fic! Snape has an adorable crow friend and has to figure out what the heck is going on at Hogwarts while also pining for Remus. Rumored by BlueSundayCake to be a part of a series! :o 32 chapters.

Read: October 1984

Honorable Mentions for fics I read in October:

A Door Left Ajar by Hera_Invictus takes a great look at Sev and Rem's past when Remus comes to Hogwarts to teach during POA. I don't know if they invented the word sexpilogue but uh, yeah...

Fuel the Pyre of Your Enemies by DivinityInMotion took the 'paired for school project' hook and sunk me in a fantastic story with slow burn Snupin.

🐺 November - Artemisia Absinthium: The Wolf and the Moth by Gertrude_Crow @princeandcrow 🐺

Summary on AO3: When Severus Snape uncovered Peter Pettigrew as a traitor before Voldemort attacked the Potters, it changed the course of many lives - his own included.

Relationships are forged and broken, as those that survived the war now have to learn to live, find new paths, and build new futures. And though their leader is gone, not all of the Death Eaters are willing to accept defeat.

Notes: Part 2 of Gertrude_Crow's Artemisia Absinthium series; READ THEM ALL! This is an AU during the first wizarding war focusing on Snupin with intriguing other relationships. Drama, intrigue, and a few dark spots make this series an incredible read. Part 2 is my favorite, coming in at 30 chapters.

Read: Artemisia Absinthium Series

💰 December - The Inheritance by Shadowycat 💰

Summary on AO3: Things hadn’t gone well for Remus Lupin since the end of the war, so he didn’t think he could afford to pass up an unexpected inheritance from someone he’d never met. Of course it turned out there were a few strings attached, including having to share his surprise windfall with Severus Snape. Not that Snape was particularly happy about that...

Notes: It's a 'we have to live together and go on a treasure hunt and now we love each other' fic! Not going to lie, the writing reminds me of a modern day Jane Austin and the story line is so compelling. A little mystery and some great reading! 24 chapters.

Read: The Inheritance

Horoable Mention for another fic I read in December:

Ne'er-Blue-Well by @diandrastrikesbackck was written for a prompt I gave, but it took my usually serious, not a fan of comedy self and had me laughing out loud with a truely genius string of puns said by Severus Snape himself after a potion accident.

WHEW! Hope you find a new fic to enjoy! This was just whenever I read the fic, but did you have any you read this year that should be on next years list? -or- are you a writer working on one?! Leave them in the comments please! Here's to many more in the new year!

#harry potter #snupin #severus snape #remus lupin #prosnape #pro-snape #pro snape #fanfic #fanfiction #fic rec #harry potter fanfic #snupin fanfic #year in review #2022 #wolfprince

[futuremrsdrcullen]

Heyyyy. I have some requests if you don't mind!!

you get into an accident and Carlisle finds you. You wake up to Carlisle working over you. Carlisle gives you the option to be treated at his house. He gives you the option to be changed. You are super nervous and he is super sweet and gentle and walks you through everything.

You are a friend of the Cullen's (especially Alice). You go to their house to hang out and you start having a panic attack but try to hide it. Carlisle and Jasper find you and help you through it!

First, let me say that I am so, so, SO sorry this took actually forever to write. This was the first time I was writing of my I'm Always in this Twilight comfort blanket and oh boy did I feel lost at first.

I'm not kidding when I say I wrote this 3 times, with three different settings lol

But I finally settled with something I'm content with and here it is!!! I decided to only write the first one, BUT stay tuned because I do have something like the second one planned for my version of Eclipse <3

Anyway! Enough from me! Thank you so so much for sending in such creative requests.

Thank you for reading and Enjoying my work <3

Much love

~Claire <3

Masterlist

Blurb title: Burning

word count: 1457

So many WARNINGS: Car accidents, blood, dying, pain, burning (but not actual fire just the feeling of burning) prolonged pain, wishing to die, sad.

I Promise it does have a happy ending <3 being turned into a vampire is not an easy process. Carlisle is the sweetest softest boy around.

THIS IS NOT CANON TO IAITT and will not be added to that masterlist. It's also why I didn't tag the normal taglist. Thanks again <3

Everything felt like slow motion. I took a turn too fast. I hit a patch of ice. I lost control. I don’t think I even heard the glass breaking. I couldn’t even tell what song was on the radio.

But I knew I was dying. 

I knew my car was resting on the driver's side door somewhere off the road. I didn’t think the passing cars would even know I was down there. I squeezed my eyes closed and hoped I would just fall asleep. 

I don’t know how long I stayed there, but I could feel the cool air surrounding me.I heard his voice before I saw him, I thought I imagined it.

“Y/n?” He sounded frantic, I didn’t open my eyes. “Y/n, please, sweetheart can you hear me.” 

I still didn’t open my eyes but I tried to nod my head. I didn’t think I could will my voice to work.

“Dove, I’m going to pull you out of the car, okay? Tell me if anything hurts too much.” I nodded again. I didn’t really feel anything but cold. Then I was out of the car and in his arms. Only then did I allow myself to open my eyes.  There was so much pain in his features.

He knew I was dying too.

He spoke softly “I- I can take you to the hospital…” I’d never heard him stutter, it broke my heart. I shook my head, not knowing if I would even make it there. “I can take you home.”

I gave him a look, he knew what I meant without it needing to be said. I was running out of time. “Carlisle…” His face twisted in pain. “Change me…”

“Y/n. You can’t make that choice right now.”

I tried to pull myself together enough to sound confident. “It’s what I would have chosen anyway. I want this.” I took one more steady breath. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet…” It was barely above a whisper.

I think he wanted to cry. He hid his face in my hair and just breathed me in. “I need you to be sure.”

I nodded. I am sure. I wanted to tell him but the words wouldn’t come out. My heart beat felt like a timer. He looked into my eyes, he cupped my cheek, he kissed my forehead. I don’t think I felt any of it.

His voice was still shaky, but he sounded far away. “Okay- Okay. I’m gonna bite you here and-and then I’ll take you home, alright love?” I think I nodded. “Stay with me just a bit longer.” I felt his lips on mine. I held on to the feeling with everything I had left. I felt him whisper “I love you, Y/n”

As I closed my eyes, I felt his lips on my neck; The action alone made my heart quicken, I hoped that was a good thing. Then a sharp, shooting pain. Then nothing. 

~

I could feel time passing, but I couldn’t judge how much. I was out for some time, enough time to get home, but eventually the pain woke me up. I screamed and thrashed and prayed- for the first time in a very long time- that the burning would stop. How much more of me was left to burn? How was I anything more than ash?

“I’m so sorry, Y/n” His voice was broken. It pulled me to the surface, if only for a moment.

Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle.

I could hear him pacing. I tried to cling to the sound. Tried to use it as something to ground me. I could hear him. I wasn’t dead, though I very much wanted to be. I wanted to hold my hand out to him; I must have held it out to him. I felt his cool fingers intertwined with mine. I tried to squeeze him. He squeezed my hand.

It could have been seconds, hours, days, later, but again his voice pulled me to the surface. The pain didn’t feel as deep. I didn’t regret asking him to turn me, I just wanted it to be over.

“It won’t be long now, Cara” I think I nodded, though with all the screaming and thrashing I doubt anyone noticed.

I didn’t let go of his hand.

More time passed- Probably.

I let him let go of my hand but I still felt him in the room. Eventually I could smell him in the room- Eventually I could hear him once I was able to stop screaming.

He was caught somewhere between doctor mode and husband mode. He gave me soft encouragement. He promised it wouldn’t be too much longer. I really wanted to believe him. I honestly think his presence was the only thing keeping me sane. 

I heard paper shuffling, I counted how many pages turned. I wondered if he was reading, or working, or taking notes on my transformation. I counted 388 page turns. He set whatever it was down 28 times, usually followed by a sigh, usually followed by a soft touch I hardly felt. His hands got warmer. Or, I guess my skin got colder. 

If my heartbeat felt like a timer before; Now it felt like an alarm.

All of the pain slowly moved from the tips of my fingers and toes. It still traveled through my veins but I could feel it leaving. As it moved, the limbs felt normal- no pain, no heat. I almost wanted to try breathing again. I didn’t.

Unfortunately, all of the burning moved closer and closer to my heart. Each inch it moved in my veins sent my heart wild. 

Then my chest was the only thing burning. And my heart beat as fast as butterfly wings but in heavy stomps. 

This is it… I thought. It has to be. 

I cried out once more…

Then it was over. Everything was so still. I didn’t move, so afraid the if I even wiggled a finger I would burn again. 

Breaking the silence, Carlisle’s voice called to me. I didn’t think about it, I just wanted to find him. I opened my eyes and was stunned by the light. More than that, I was so overwhelmed by absolutely everything in the room. I sat up faster than I would have ever been able to.

Then Carlisle’s arms were around me, like he was there to steady me; I had never felt more steady in my life. 

“Careful, Dove. You’re alright.” This time I was stunned by his voice. It was clear and smooth and intoxicating. It always has been, but this felt like the first time I had ever heard it clearly. 

I wanted to speak, but I had no air to carry my voice. I would have to breathe to speak and somehow that was terrifying. I didn’t know how anything could be scary after everything I had just felt. 

Instead I studied his features. His eyes were so bright and golden. He placed a soft hand on my cheek, and when I didn’t feel the chill of his skin, I took a sharp breath. Breathing wasn’t as scary as I expected, though it did hurt. 

I remember from Bella’s transformation that newborns woke up thirsty and though it had been explained to me, I never could have really imagined what that would feel like. I had never experienced thirst like this. Everything was so dry and hot. I was almost convinced I’d swallowed a lit match. The air that filled my throat fed the flames. I wanted to scream again. 

Instead I looked at him, my eyes catching his again. I let the pain pass for another moment.

“Carlisle…” I knew I whispered, I wanted to whisper it, but it felt so loud. I didn’t recognize my own voice. His smile widened. I wanted to kiss him.

“Y/n…” 

“This is all real?” I knew it was. I had to ask anyway.

He laughed softly. “It’s very real.” I nodded though I wasn’t sure I believed him. I didn't really know how to believe him. Everything happened so quickly. 

Only then did I notice the others giggling too. 

Almost all of them were there. Alice and Jasper, Rose and Emmett, Edward and Bella, they all watched me in complete wonder.

And Carlisle.

Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle. 

He was real and he was here and we could live happily ever after. It probably wouldn’t be as graceful as Bella’s transformation, but with all of them by my side, I could do this. Everything would be alright. The pain was over, but my life was new.

What I thought would be the end, was actually my first steps into forever.

taglist: @a-not-so-poetic-poet @jakanddexter67 @bridge597 @gaymazinglula @arg888cam

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #carlisle cullen #not iaitt #carlisle cullen x reader #twilight fanfic #car crash #car accident #near death experience #dark #happy end #not I'm Always in This Twilight

[hyah-lian]

@skyloftian-nutcase fanfic, for your Healthcare AU? It's more likely than you think.

I hope it's ok to post it and tag you like this ;;;; that one post yesterday got my brain goin. I hope its not too out of character for your boys or too off base on the situation lol

--------------------

The staff section of the cafeteria had been cleared of tables and filled to the brim with CPR mannequins, gym mats, and a small army of staff in various locations around the space. 

A few, like Wars and Time were pacing through with other educators brought in for the training exercise. Others sat, stood, or laid with index cards; acting out or reading off their cards to the handful who were on their turn for acting as triage and treatment.

"Oh oof ouch, I am dying. My sats are unreadable. Oh no," Legend deadpanned from the blue mat on the floor while one of the hospital's newer hires rocked from foot to foot above him.

"Don't panic, breathe," Time raised his voice a little over the din of the emergency preparedness practice.

"And- and check the leads if they are there? And- or call a code for help?" Time nodded and the new hire ran through the motions.

"Cool, alright Wind, so what is the next step?" Twilight grinned and pulled the young respiratory-therapist-in-training's attention back to the scenario at hand.

"Oh, yeah. Geeze, it's pretty loud and busy."

"Emergencies tend to be. You don't have to get it perfect, that's why we do the course."

"Right," Wind nodded and rechecked the card with the scenario information, "well then, uh, little mister bus crash. Your arm is probably broken and my what big bones you have for a second grader."

"Ha-ha. Take it seriously, please."

"I am. Reading the room, this kid wouldn't take kindly to coddling and lying from what I've heard. Plus it's not a red level emergency so-"

Wind laid Twilight's arm on his own legs on top of his folded up sweater. With slow and purposeful movements he held the hand still gently with one of his own, while the other went for the splinting materials in one of the tubs to the side.

"Your arm is going to get a, uhm," Wind furrowed his brow when Wars and another one of the course leaders walked by, "special jacket that'll hug it and help make it feel better until a doctor can get you a cast."

"My card just says 'inconsolable crying', I'm sure you can imagine what that is like."

"No, no Twi- do it right!" 

Legend was propped up on his elbow staring back at the two of them, oh so casually sipping his energy drink while his caretaker was tearing through the provided bins and listening to Time talk them through their panic.

"I'm not taking advice from an unconscious body with an untraceable rhythm that is somehow sitting up and drinking that crap."

"For all you know I'm asleep with detached leads," he stage whispered before slurping obnoxiously.

"I'm going to tie this here and here to help make your arm feel better," Wind half shouted over the other two.

Twilight flipped his behavior card around to show both Wind and Legend the underlined block lettering saying 'inconsolable crying' and shrugging. 

Wind rolled his eyes and the motion took his whole head lolling back on his shoulders in exasperation. Legend, the bug, just snorted. Then, of course, Wars looped back around to watch.

"Okay, one knot," Wind spoke as he continued, "and two. How brave! Quick, Legend! Wiggle your fingers!"

"Wha-"

"Flex those fingies! C'mon!" 

Legend flexed all of one at Wind's smiling face.

"Watch it!" Twi shouted before catching the glare from Wars. "Thats a swear finger. Tsk tsk."

"That's right! You should show him how to properly wiggle your fingers, kiddo," Wind, to his credit, avoided the patronizing tone most of the others put on when working with younger patients.

Sneaky Wind, trying to score extra points. Twilight lifted the splinted arm ever so slightly and wiggled his fingers in a little wave at Legend. One knot slipped and pinched his arm between it and the splint.

"Good use of age appropriate distraction. Mind the location of the knots on the cravat," Wars smiled and made a note on the clipboard he carried.

"Thanks. Patient is breathing fine, and I'm guessing you still standing here is like, another doctor showing up to take over? Or that I just did enough? I'd still try to sling it for real though, right?" Wind asked.

"Yes, a bit of both. If this was a true mass MVC once you got to this point and had the child safe and supervised, I would suggest you move on to other patients after retying the knot to avoid pinching. Sorry to shove you along so fast, looks like you're all having a great time but we need to keep this moving. Here is your next patient, over there."

Wind took the paper slip and his eyes followed Wars' motion. He slapped his palm into Twilight's hair and gave it a thorough messing-up before moving on.

"Watch it-!" Twi called after him, undoing the splint and resetting the bins for the next waiting person.

"Legend," Time's voice, a warning.

"Okay, okay!" He laid back down, "Ah, oof. I am so unconscious. My breathing is shallow, it's there but shallow, ok? You don't need to crack my ribs for real this time."

"Worst actor, isn't he?" Wild dropped off another bin of equipment and handed Twilight a new stack of cards for the next scenario before moving on to deliver other equipment to the different stations.

#lu in healthcare fanfic #skyloftian nutcase's AU #questionable medical accuracy #not as questionable as the other one i want to try writing some time but that is questionable on purpose #if u want me to take it down or send it to u via ask instead or anything just let me know!! #i just am having a lot of fun reading your au and thinking about it #and learning stuff too. medical stuff is something i dont think i would ever be tired of reading or learning

[yun-fangz]

2:17 a.m. | C.JH

pairing(s): jongho x fem!reader

wc: 2.2k

warnings: HEAVY ANGST? Mentions/descriptions of severe injuries, almost death, cursing, crying... lots of crying, hopeful ending, hurt/comfort? idk if i missed anything lmk

a/n: hiii here's a quick little blurb i wrote after crying really hard ❤️‍🩹 i was projecting a lot so im sorry 😭 also said event is not mentioned so feel free to imagine any near death experience.

THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD (it's 5:41 am im not doing it..)

if you can read, you can rb so please..

feedback is encouraged (pls)

tag list: @earth-to-leiki unable to tag: @vanafics

Jongho couldn’t breathe as he sprinted into the hospital.

lungs burning as he frantically pushed himself past people, desperately trying to find you. He halted a reception, stumbling over himself, asking a million questions.

“Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down. Take a deep breath, please.” The nurse told him, not able to understand the panic-stricken man. He stopped for a moment, closing his eyes and taking in a shaky breath.

“I-I’m looking for y/n..” he finally said after a couple of breaths, panic still evident in his voice. “I need to see her… please.” he pleaded, getting agitated as the nurse was taking her time.

After a couple seconds too long for Jongho’s liking, the nurse finally spoke up once more. Her voice was almost monotonous as she replied, “I’m afraid you won't be able to do that sir, she’s not in a stable condition.”

Jongho felt his heart drop to the floor, the panic in his body only multiplying by a tenfold. “What do you mean? Is she alright? what’s wrong?” He was almost spiraling at this point, mind overcome with too many thoughts of what could possibly be going on.

“I’m sorry but I'm not allowed to relay any of that information to you without confirming your status with the patient.” The nurse replied, an expectant look on her face as she waited for jongho to tell her who he was to you.

“I’m Choi Jongho, her f-finance.” he stumbled over the lie. It wasn’t a complete lie though, he has been planning on proposing for a long time. The nurse simply gave him a curt nod at that, Gathering some paperwork in her hands before standing up and gesturing to jongho to follow.

Immediately he trailed the nurse, letting her lead him into a conference room separate from the public. He entered the room and sat in one of the chairs, the nurse closing the door before she read back one of the papers.

“She’s in severe condition, the doctors don't know if she’ll make it.” If jongho weren’t sitting, he’s positive he’d have fallen to his knees at this. He simply sat there, a grim look plastered on his face as he waited for the nurse to continue.

“She was completely unresponsive when we found her, she was cold. Her heart had stopped for 7 seconds… it's a miracle she’s still alive.” He almost couldn’t breathe, your heart stopped. it fucking stopped. For 7 seconds, and he wasn’t there, wasn’t there when it happened.

He couldn’t stop himself after the first choked sob escaped his lips, the nurse only giving him a sympathetic look as she took a moment before continuing.

“Our doctors are doing everything they can to get her stable once more. If you’d like to stay and wait, you’re more than welcome to Mr. Choi..” She said, standing up and placing the manila folder on Jongho’s lap, turning back to the door.

“It says in the report there’s still brain activity, it seems your fiancé is a fighter Sir. Please don’t lose faith.” The nurse finally excused herself, leaving jongho and the medical documents to their own accord.

It was then where jongho fully let his emotions overtake him, once small sobs evolving into all out cries. Cries of desperation, of fear, of grief. He didn’t know what to feel. He was utterly terrified at the thought of losing you.

He placed the folder on the chair across from him, unable to open it and read the contents inside. He just sat there, cries shaking his body up. He couldn't help but have his mind wander, what happened? Everything was ok? Why did this happen to you?

He couldn't fathom what could've led to this, a seemingly normal day turned horrific. He still remembered the call he got while at work, a bit on edge as it was an unknown caller id. Little did he know, it was the local hospital, informing him of the identification of his girlfriend, unresponsive, and how she was currently on her way to the emergency room for treatment.

He didn't believe it at first, thinking it was just an April fools prank; it was December 30th. Immediately he dropped what he was doing, nearly sprinting out of the building and into his car. He knew he was speeding, almost pushing 90 in a 55 zone. He didn't care though, too worried about you and your well-being.

that didn't matter now though, he was here now, tear ridden as he waited for any update on your condition. He sat there, for hours, not moving from his seat. He listened for any sounds, any sounds of someone approaching the door.

Eventually it opened again, the same nurse from earlier showing herself. A water bottle and a pack of gummies in her hand. Silently, she placed the items by the puffy eyed man, the same sympathetic look from earlier gracing her features.

“Here's a bottle of water and a pack of some electrolyte fruit gummies, you’ve lost quite a few these past hours.” she starts, keeping her distance from the disheveled form on the chair.

“We haven't received any updates about your fiancée, but once we do we’ll led you know right away Mr. Choi.” Unable to trust his voice, he simply nodded his head as an acknowledgment. She took that as a sign to leave, giving a curt nod and exiting the room once more.

Some more time passed before Jongho finally reached over, taking some of the gummies and drinking down the water. He took this time to ground himself as well, telling himself that everything will be ok and not to worry..

God he wished everything would be ok. He wished this never happened to you, that it was him instead. You didn't deserve to go through this, you didn't deserve it at all.

He let himself wander again, getting lost in the guilt until a door slammed open, causing him to visibly flinch as the nurse who was there not even 30 minutes before stood there. Eyes wide and she stared at him.

“It's y/n-” Jongho immediately shot up, fear coursing through his veins at the mention of you.

“What? What about her? Is she alright?” he asked frantically, eyes pleading.

“Please Mr, Choi calm down, s-she's stable now.” The nurse said, stumbling over herself. Once more, jongho broke, a sob of relief tumbling off his lips.

“Oh my god, oh my god..” he wailed, his footing suddenly feeling weak. He felt like he could collapse at any moment, the relief washing over him like waves thrashing in a storm.

“Is there any way I could see her? Please, I need to see her… i need to see her please..” he said through tears, not caring about how he looked. He just needed to see you’re alright.

“Yes, you can see her. Not for long though, the doctors must take her into surgery before her current condition becomes worse.” she replied, but jongho had stopped listening. He was too focused on the fact you were ok.

‘you're alive, you’re alive, you’re alive…’ is all he thought to himself as the nurse led him to another floor, passing many hallways before stopping in front of a room with the door closed.

“She’s right in here.” the nurse said, gesturing to the door. “I'm not sure how much time you have before she goes into surgery so please, don't take too much time.” she finished, stepping back to let jongho enter the room.

The moment he saw you he was unable to move, knees finally giving way as he saw your tattered and bruised form. He stood there on his knees just watching, almost unable to recognize your body with all the bruises and bandages covering your form.

He was snapped out of his trance seeing movement and a wince leave your mouth. He bounced right back up to his feet, rushing to your side, fully taking you in.

“y/n..” he said quietly, as if speaking any louder would break you.

He panicked a little bit when you didn't respond to him, calling out to you a little louder. It was then when another wince left you, eyes fluttering a bit before cringing in pain.

You don't know where you were, but your body was in so much pain. You could hear a voice calling to you but you couldn't recognize who it was, you needed to open your eyes and look but the room was too bright..

“t-to brigh-bright..” soy wheezed out, feeling as if someone had just gutted you moments ago. Jongho was stunned for a moment, unable to move at hearing your voice before he scrambled to turn one of the lights off, rushing back to your side right after.

He sat there patiently as your eyes fluttered once more, eyes not cringing as much. You were awake, my god you were awake.. Jongho tried to suppress the shaky sigh that left his lips, you heard though, trying your best to move and see where the sound was from. You winced as you moved, craning your neck as far as it could go to see.

You sat there for a moment, a confused look on your face as you tried to register who you were looking at. Jongho couldn't help but grow worried once more, why did you look so confused? Did you not recognize him? He opened his mouth to speak but before he could, your hoarse voice spoke up once more.

“J-jong-ho..” you stammered out, bloodshot eyes glossy as you finally registered the man sitting next to you. “Jongho..” you repeated, tears finally falling down your bruised and scratched face.

Jongho broke, he couldn't take it. His head immediately fell to the bed as sobs racked through his body, unable to hold his composure any longer. He sat there by your bedside, sobbing as you stared at him, unable to move and comfort him.

It was a little while before he looked up again and when he did he was met with a tear stained face, fresh ones still flowing. He reached up as he delicately cupped your cheek, gently wiping your tears.

“shhh, it's okay. I’m here, I’m right here darling. Please don't cry..” Jongho said softly. This only made you cry harder, the weight of everything you felt earlier crashing down on you. You sobbed into his palm, the feeling of his warm palm against your skin almost too overwhelming.

“Jongho..” you said in between cries, “i was so scared..” Guilt nipped at him at your words, you were scared, and he wasn't there to save you…

Tears welled up once more as he continued to wipe your tears. “I know… i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry” he couldn't stop apologizing, he felt so guilty.

He moved closer and pressed his lips on your forehead, giving you a slow and reassuring kiss. “I'm here now, I'm not letting you go okay?” he said while pulling away, becoming eye level with you once more.

All you could do was nod, unable to speak as you cried and cried into his palm. He let you stay there and sob, not asking any questions about what happened and how. all he needed to know was that you were safe, he could worry about everything else later.

The soft moment wouldn't last long though as a group of doctors and nurses almost busted through the door, startling you and your lover. The doctors stopped upon seeing his presence, almost as if they weren't expecting him to be there.

The room was silent for a moment or two, before one of the doctors cleared his throat and introduced himself as Dr. Ken.

“I'm so sorry to interrupt but we need to take Ms. Y/N into surgery now.” he said curtly, other medical assistance entering the room and working on getting your bed moving.

Jongho panicked for a bit, he didn't want you to leave him again.. what if something went wrong? As if on queue, he felt you grab his hand still resting on your cheek, bringing it to your lips and giving it a kiss and using all the power in your body to give him a reassuring squeeze.

“I'm g-gonna be ok-kay..” you wheezed out, almost unsure of yourself. However, you stood strong as you held his hand, his gaze still worry-ridden.

He held your hand throughout the trip to the other side of the hospital, stopping once you arrived at the surgery wing. This time it was him that gave the reassuring squeeze, looking at you once more.

“You’re going to be ok.” he reminded, searching your eyes for any sign of nervousness. You didn't say anything to this, only nodding and taking a deep breath.

“I love you.” you said, voice wavering slightly. Taking a deep breath, Jongho bent over to place a delicate kiss directly on your lips, lingering for a moment as if he wanted to engrave the feeling.

“I love you more..” he replied, taking a step back as the nurses rushed around, preparing for the oncoming surgery.

He watched as they wheeled you past the operation room doors, staring as long as he could before they closed. Once you were out of his vision, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

As he made his way over to the waiting area, he couldn't help but worry some more.. Was the surgery going to work? no, the surgery was going to work, you’re going to be ok.

You’re alive, You're alive, You're alive..

i hope you enjoyed <3

© 2022 yun-fangz All Rights Reserved.

#cjh.works 🍵 #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez ff #ateez fics #ateez imagines #jongho x reader #jongho angst #ateez angst #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #seonghwa angst #hongjoong angst #yunho angst #yeosang angst #san angst #wooyoung angst #mingi angst #Spotify

[ellieauthor]

15 Questions | 15 People

Rules: Answer these 15 Questions, then Tag 15 People

tagged by the wonderful @eggbagelsjr !!

have never participated in a Tumblr Thing, I'm sure someone will let me know if I'm doing it wrong lmao

Are you named after anyone? no bUT I was going to have a different middle name until my mother realized that (government first name + intended middle name) was also the brand of maternity underwear the hospital used so she panic changed it while in labor. which is not the question asked, but is a story I don't get to tell very often so

When was the last time you cried?  I cry about everything bc any strong emotion (sadness! happiness! anger! hatred! frustration! fear! severe boredom! overstimulation! etc etc) triggers a teary reaction. and (somehow) even more embarrassingly, the answer is this morning, while writing a gift fic for a Valentine's day fest.

Do you have kids? hard no, hard never. or, well. hard probably never, anyways.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? less so than I used to I feel like????? but still not....no

What’s the first thing you notice about people? how they....interact with other people?? or make people feel?? like if someone is really inclusive in a group setting, or attentive, or going out of their way to make someone else feel uncomfortable, thats always how I remember people I meet

What’s your eye colour? hazel or green or something

Scary movies or happy ending? no scary movies bc I don't love gore visuals or jump scares but I will read anything dark or happy or angsty pending mood!

Any special talents? just uhhhhhh the attempt at writing thing

Where were you born? London, whilst my parents did a couple years of Living Abroad

What are your hobbies? will try anything once, will probably not ever finish it. but that first like 42% of learning any new skill is fucking thrilling

Do you have any pets? one dog, I love her endlessly. I tell her every morning that the day she dies my life is over. it's a v healthy dynamic.

What sports do you play/have you played? ?oh god. lacrosse! field hockey! soccer! softball! distance running! plus dance stuff at a v young age and also lots and lots and lots of horse stuff. only stuck with dressage through college tho, everything else petered out sometime in highschool

How tall are you? 5'4 apparently, after living 30 years believing myself to be 5'2 on a Tall Day

Favourite subject at school? English in hs, rhetoric and logic classes in undergrad, organizational behavior in grad school

Dream job? do not dream of labor etc etc

I don't think I know 15 people on here. I don't even think I know 15 people in...general...?

I think @rattlebag and @katsiperennial Tumblr on occasion?? and also likely lots of people I've forgotten bc I'm generally bad at memory related things. anyone who wants in please feel free!!!!!!

[writerfae]

Incorrect Quotes Tag

Rules: use this quote generator & list as many quotes as you like using characters from your WIPs, then tag as many people as quotes you listed.

I was tagged the first time by @saltysupercomputer a while ago! Thanks for the tag and sorry that it took a while! ^^

Leaving an open tag for this one!

I always have way too much fun with these xD so here’s some quotes about the main gang (mostly under the cut)

Halea: I just found out that humans are capable of fitting a light bulb into their mouth with ease but can't take it out without shattering it, and now I have to physically restrain myself from putting a light bulb in my mouth

.

Aiden: Caw caw, motherfuckers.

.

Talon: The only thing keeping me from running away and hiding from society for the rest of my life is spite. I could disappear forever, but there are some bitches whose downfalls I have yet to witness, and I wanna be around when that happens.

.

Maya, making coffee tea: This is going to fix everything.

.

Maya: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Halea, Talon, & Aiden: Okay.

Maya: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Halea: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Talon: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Aiden : Bold of you to assume I can die.

.

Maya: I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Halea: Um.. Neat.

*later*

Halea, lying face down on her bed: I said "Neat," Aiden. Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because l'm fucking stupid.

Aiden, reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Halea. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Talon confessed his love for me?

Halea: Didn't you thank him?

Aiden: *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked him.

.

Halea, watching Talon & Maya panic: What's going on?

Aiden: Talon is having a midlife crisis and Maya is just having a crisis.

.

Halea: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Aiden: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Talon: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Aiden: But I heard a siren.

Halea: That was Maya.

Maya: Sorry, I got nervous.

.

Talon: Die.

Aiden: Please don't die!

Talon: DIE!

Aiden : PLEASE DON'T DIE!

Maya, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?

Halea, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Aiden wants Talon to accept it as their kid.

.

Talon : That's ridiculous, Aiden doesn't have a crush on me.

Halea: Yes he does.

Maya: Yes he does.

Aiden: Yes I do.

.

Maya: I am convinced Aiden and Halea share a brain cell.

Talon: And it's not in use very often, it seems.

#writer speaks #writeblr #wip: the knights of the alder #tag game #incorrect quotes

[jiirens]

Hey y’all.  I’m still here...  Life is just dumb.

To sum up, my grandfather has been in the hospital for almost a week now.  He started at a local one, but he needs to have a procedure done that they couldn’t do at our local VA hospital, so they were going to send him to another hospital in town, but they didn’t have any beds.  So now he’s at another VA hospital four hours away...  They got him there and the doctors decided his heart wasn’t strong enough to do the procedure he needs, so they have him on meds to try to strengthen his heart so they can hopefully do the surgery, but in the meantime he’s hanging out in a hospital four hours away and still sick.  My grandmother is up there with him, and their kids have been taking turns going up for a couple days to stay with her and make sure that she’s okay and help her navigate the hospital... But this is very likely the beginning of the end for grandpa and I think we all know it.

So...  Yeah.  I’m here, just...  Lurking mostly because I’ve been in weird moods.

Of course, my weird mental state means I’ve gotten muse for like three more people, so I’m probably going to turn the Heisenberg blog I literally just built into a multi lol.

#I won't accept defeat; OOC #tw: hospitals #tw: health #i'm not the one in the hospital please don't panic if you read the tags before the post

[munstysmind]

OVERACHIEVER - Maddison - An Original Story

WARNING/S: Medical

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE USED IN ANY CAPACITY

Divider by @firefly-graphics

MAIN MASTERLIST

MADDISON MASTERLIST

please let me know if you would like to be added to a tag list

Maddie lets out a loud groan, she’s going to kill Sebastian for being so fucking loud. And why the hell is it so bright?

"Mads" she hears him say, he sounds worried. Confused, she opens her eyes, blinking as they adjust to the light.

Not recognising where she is she panics, quickly sitting up which causes her head to spin and she flops back down.

"Hey hey, you’re OK" he says, giving her hand a squeeze. Finally realising she's in hospital, she looks around again and sees Sebastian sitting on a chair next to her bed.

"Wha...." she starts, looking at him confused

"You passed out" he says as he shifts from the chair to the edge of her bed

"Oh god" she groans, covering her eyes "how bad?"

"Pretty bad. Your blood sugar was dangerously low and you have one of the worst cases of dehydration the doctor says he's seen in years" he tells her, fussing with her blankets.

"What can I say, I'm an overachiever" she says with a small laugh, shrugging slightly.

"It's not funny Mads. You scared the hell out of me" he says. He’d spent the entire ambulance trip close to tears, silently praying that she would be OK.

"Sorry" she whispers, looking down at her lap. She hasn’t stopped to think about how worried he must have been.

"Hey" he says softly, taking her hand and giving it a gently squeeze. She looks up at him, smiling a little when he brings her hand up to his mouth and presses a few gently kisses to the skin.

"There’s something you need to know" he says with a sigh as a frown appears on his face. She knows that look. It's not good.

"What?"

"Jared called"

"Please tell me you didn't say anything"

"Mads…"

"Damn it Seb"

"I'm sorry. He wanted to see if you were OK, you weren't answering his messages and he got worried. He heard the emergency room noises. I wasn't about to lie"

"That's exactly what you should have done. How much does he know"

"Just that you're getting fluids because of the dehydration. I didn't say anything about you passing out. I'm not that stupid"

"I beg to differ" she snaps before quickly sitting up, panicked "I'm gonna be sick"

He gets a barf bag under her just in time. Her throat burns as she brings up nothing but stomach acid.

Laying back down, the last three days become too much for her and she starts to cry, tears rolling down her face.

"I can't do this anymore Seb" she tells him. She's exhausted. She's been having nightmares again and has barley slept since being sick "I don't want to do this anymore"

"I know" he says, looking at her sadly. This isn't like when she's anxious or scared, he's able to help when she's like that. Right now there's nothing he can do and it's hard. He's never seen her this sick before.

She shifts on the bed before reaching for him, making grabby hands in the process, and he knows what she wants. He's just about to lay down next to her when his phone rings. He pulls it out of his pocket and looks who it is, making a face as he shows her the caller ID.

She gives him a small nods and sighs as he answers. She can hear Jensen on the other end of the call. He doesn't sound happy.

"sebastian, i swear to god..."

"She's OK"

"sebastian, she's in the hospital. that doesn't sound very ok to me"

"Jensen, she's exhausted. She hasn't been able to keep anything down for days. They needed to get fluids and electrolytes into her and the fastest way to do that is with a drip. The doctor wants to keep her in overnight as a precaution, that's all"

"why didn't you tell me she was this sick?"

"Because she asked me not to"

"sebastian"

"Look, she asked me not to say anything because she didn't want you to freak out and get in a plane to New York which we both know is exactly what you would have done. And you know how pissed off she gets when she's sick so I wasn't about to go behind her back and do something that would make her punch me in the mouth"

"can I talk to her?"

Her eyes almost come out of her head as she starts to panic, she really isn't in the mood for a Jensen Lecture but Sebastian doesn't miss a beat

"She's asleep"

"ok... look, i gotta go. can you please get her to call me in the morning?"

"Yeah"

"thank you"

Sebastian hangs up and puts his phone back in his pocket before looking at Maddie.

"Thank You" she says quietly, giving him a small smile

"You know I've always got your back" he tells her, giving her knee a gentle squeeze

"You're too good to me"

"I know"

"I'll still punch you"

"Oh I know, just not the face. We start filming in a few weeks"

She lets out a small laugh and shakes her head at him.

"OK, face is off limits" she says as her eyes start to get heavy and she fights to stay awake.

"It's OK, Mads. Just rest. I’m not going anywhere" he says, ruining his hand over her forehead

"Love you" she mumbles as she quickly drifts off

"Love you too" he tells her, gently kissing the top of her head before settling back into the chair beside her, feet up on her bed and dozing off himself.

TAGLIST

@aussieez

#original series #original character #maddison original series #sebastian stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan angst #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #jensen ackles #jared paladecki #misha collins #supernatural #marvel #captain america #anxiety #PTSD #panic attack #slow build #domestic violence #domestic abuse #assault

[castiel-barnes]

Request(Marcus Moreno, if you do Marcus Moreno)-After being badly beaten up, bloody, bruised and battered(Both his face and body) with his clothes torn and bloody as he is held hostage by his archenemy(His archenemy beat and tortured him) for 5 days, Marcus is rescued by the Heroics and he is rushed to the hospital to get the surgery immediately to save his life. When the surgery's finally over successfully, Marcus' in the ICU with his 2nd wife by his side. His 2nd wife tearfully pleads him to wake up because she loves and needs him so much. 6 days after the hospital visits, Marcus finally wakes up and comforts his 2nd wife with letting his silent tears fall down freely on his cheeks.

I'm awake now.

Pairing: Marcus Moreno x wife! Reader.

Warnings: Blood. Torture. Angst. Eventual comfort. Do not read if you don't like this type of stuff. Swearing.

Wordcount: 1.8k

A/N: I will try my best with this, cause ive not watched the film. But thank you for the request.

Tags: @scribbledghost @prideandpascal @phoenixhalliwell @frankiemoraleswifexo

Marcus had been missing 5 days now. The feeling you had in your stomach, the panic that was getting to you. Missy had seemed more calm than you, until she came to you crying one night.

"Y-y/n?" Missy came into your room "is dad gonna come home?" She asked quietly wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve.

"Oh sweetheart of course he is, come here." You open up your arms, and Missy instantly climbed into bed and hugged you starting to cry.

"Your dad is gonna come home, and we're gonna be our little family again okay? He's gonna be fine." You stated not quite believing yourself.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

He was tired. In pain. Marcus was struggling to keep his eyes open. He knew he had to, especially since he was sure he had a concussion. There were times when he hallucinated, images of his late wife and you smiling and laughing. Playing with Missy at the park.

Marcus had been taken by his arch-enemy, codenamed: Firenight. They had being fighting each other for years.

And now finally, Marcus had thought it was the end. Firenights henchmen had stripped Marcus out of his jacket, tie and trousers. Just leaving him in his suit shirt and boxers.

The first two days, they had punched and kicked him senseless. He had tried to retaliate, which ended up in at least 3 broken ribs.

The third day, they had poured freezing cold water over the top of Marcus. The shock of the cold water, made Marcus shake violently the affect on his immunes system was taking a toll.

"E-enough please!" Marcus wrasped out,

"What was that? Was that the mighty Marcus Moreno, leader of the heroics begging for his life?" One henchmen hissed,

As the henchmen finished his sentence, Firenight walked in standing tall.

"What did I just hear?" He hissed,

"He was pleading for his life, Sir." Another henchmen stated. Firenight chuckled darkly, the laugh echoing through dark dingy room. He walked up to Marcus and sneered down at him.

He picked Marcus up by his collar.

"You're not going anywhere Moreno. Not alive anyways, I'll make sure your loving family sees what I've done to you." Firenight stated throwing Marcus to the ground. As Marcus hit the ground, his head hit the ground hard passing out.

As he came round, his head was spinning and he was back into the chair. He felt worse, he was struggling to breathe.

The fourth day had come, and it felt like hell for Marcus. They pinned Marcus down and one of grabbed his arm, dislocating it. He screamed the pain was unbearable now.

"Shut it Moreno." One henchmen stated punching Marcus,

And then came the worst pain. His femur had been broken.

He doesn't remember much of what happened after. He just remembers trying not to shut his eyes. Trying to stay awake. For you. For Missy.

He didn't know at this point, but by the time day five had arrived. He was being rescued. Marcus was 100% sure he was hallucinating this time. He could hear Miracle Guy calling his name.

"Marcus, hey come on pal. Look at me." Miracle stated kneeling infront of Marcus, cupping his cheek. Marcus's eyes fluttered open a little bit.

"M-miracle?" Marcus questioned not sure if what he was seeing was true,

"Yeah it's me. We're getting you out of here, just hold on." Miracle replied cutting the ropes around Marcus's wrist. Miracle Guy picked Marcus up, and he noticed how skinny, how bruised and broken Marcus looked. Marcus whimpered as he was held by his friend.

"It's okay, it's okay Marcus we're getting you home." Miracle whispered to his friend.

You had been called late during the night, it was another one of the heroics. Marcus had been found, and he was now at the hospital.

"Missy, sweetheart wake up." You whispered shaking her gently,

"Mum what's wrong?" Missy asked sleepily.

"Your dad is at the hospital, I'm gonna take you to your grandma and then I'm gonna go there." You explained slightly shocked she called you mum,

"What?! But I wanna go with you!" She sat up more.

"No missy, I have to take you to your Grandma." You stated,

"But-" she tried again before you cut her off.

"Missy. Please. They didn't tell me what his condition was. I don't want you to see your father if he is in a bad state." You spoke looking at her pleading.

She thought for a moment and nodded. Missy packed some clothes. You drove Missy to her Grandma.

"Be good, I'll call you as soon as I know something." You said giving her a hug,

"Promise?" She asked presenting her pinkie finger.

"I promise." You replied giving a pinkie promise.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

As you arrived at the hospital. You saw Miracle Guy and Tech-no in the waiting room, their legs bouncing anxiously.

"Where is he? Tech where is he?" You exclaimed the panic still within you,

"He's uh... he's in surgery at the moment. Y/N... Marcus wasn't in a good state when we found him." Miracle explained. As you examined Miracle Guy you saw there was blood on his suit. You now figured that it was Marcus's blood.

You breath stuttered, and Miracle guided you to a seat hugging you.

"He's gonna be okay. He's strong Y/N." Miracle whispered.

It was a few hours later. Finally the doctor had come out.

"Mrs Moreno?" The doctor questioned you,

"Y-yeah?" You replied standing shakily.

"Your husband is alive, he has been put into the ICU. It'll be touch and go for the next day or two. You can go see him." The doctor explained. You nodded and walked to his room nervously, as you looked at him through the window you wanted to throw up.

You ran to the bathroom and threw up. After a minute or two, you went back to Marcus's room.

Concussion.

3 broken ribs.

Punctured lung.

Pneumonia.

Dislocated shoulder.

Bruising. (Majority of the body).

Broken femur.

That was the list of injuries that the doctor gave you. There was a tube coming out of his chest, draining the fluid from his lung. A full leg cast on his leg. Bruises all over. His arm in a sling. And tubes coming out of his mouth.

Your breath stuttered, and you looked at Miracle Guy whose eyes were watering.

Sitting in the chair next to Marcus's bed, You hesitantly held his hand in yours. His skin felt cool, but warm at the same time. But at least it wasn't cold. Besides all the injuries and hospital equipment, he looked peaceful.

"H-hey baby, it's me. You're safe now." You whispered,

Miracle Guy looked at the two of you, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

"He'll pull through." He stated.

You nodded and tried to keep a sob back.

"I-i know." You whimpered.

You stayed at the hospital as much as you could. The spare time you had was spent at the hospital. Missy had came to visit, a few times. She placed a Teddy bear on her father's bed, to make sure that he would feel better.

One night you were at the hospital, you talked to him. Something you heard, was that even though they're in a coma they can still hear you.

"Marcus... baby. C'mon I know you're there. Please wake up. Please don't leave me. Don't leave Missy. We need you. So please, wake up." You cried tears pricking your eyes.

"Please Marcus, wake up." You let with a sob. The nurses that were looking after Marcus looked at you pitifully, one such nurse came in and gave you a hug.

It was days since you had first seen him in this state. He was making small improvements. Swelling had gone down, some of the lighter bruises had gone but that was it.

It had been eleven days since Marcus was kidnapped, tortured, saved and then hospitalised. Eleven days since you had heard his voice, shared a kiss, heard his laughter.

There wasn't any indication that something with him was about to change. You were sat next to him like you had been, reading a book to him just as a pass time.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see his hand twitch but you thought you were just seeing things.

Marcus then abruptly opened his eyes, gasping and panicking. To you his eyes looked liked that of a scared little boy.

"Baby! Hey Marcus it's okay. NURSE! look at me baby it's okay, you're safe. You're safe Marcus." You reassured him, holding his hand gently and stroking his hair back.

After a few minutes of the doctors checking Marcus over, and taking the intubation tube out. You sat with him holding his hand, tears falling softly down your cheek.

"G-god Marcus you really scared me." You admitted quietly,

"I know baby... I'm so so sorry. B-but I'm awake now. I'm awake." He responded voice scratchy, trying to shift. "S-shit." He whimpered.

"Marcus, don't try to move. Y-you were so hurt and y-you had so many machines keeping you alive." You sobbed,

You laid your head carefully on his lap, and Marcus stroked your hair back softly. He shut his eyes for a few moments, and a few silent tears rolled down his face.

"I love you... so fucking much." Marcus let out softly trying not to sob,

"I love you too, I missed you so much." You responded now looking up at him. He wiped your tears from your face gently, and you leant forward kissing him gently.

Marcus pinched his eyebrows slightly, and looked down at his chest. This time it was his turn for his breath to stutter.

"You were in surgery for a while. 3 broken ribs, punctured lung, concussion, bruising, dislocated shoulder and a broken femur." You looked at him sadly,

You placed a hand gently on his chest, just to feel him breathing.

"They had to put like a tube in your chest, b-because they have to drain the fluid out your lung." You continued explaining what the doctors had done to him. He nodded and saw the little bear that Missy left behind.

"I-is Missy okay? Is she safe?" Marcus asked,

"She's safe honey, I promise. She's coming round after school." You replied. He nodded and looked at you in your eyes.

"I'm sorry I left you baby. I'm so sorry." Marcus cried. You cupped his cheek softly and leant your forehead against his.

"Shh shh honey, shh. Its okay now, you're safe. You're safe." You reassured him, kissing his forehead. Trying not to let your own tears drop.

After a while Missy came in and smiled brightly as she saw her dad awake. The two of them talked a little bit, and Marcus smiled at you as Missy called you Mum again. A nurse came in when it was close to the end of visiting time, and Marcus asked for some morphine to help dull the ache and pain he could feel.

Few weeks later, Marcus had been discharged from hospital. Told by the Doctors take it easy and, in a few more weeks to come get his cast off.

#writing #marcus moreno #we can be heroes #asked and answered

[h3rmitsunited-art]

Whumptober 2021 Masterpost

Hey friends!

I am challenging myself to complete Whumptober 2021 this year! I've never participated in any of these like daily writing things, and I've been writing more, and enjoy reading some whumpy stuff, so I figured a fun next step would be joining in and writing some myself, and maybe some art pieces too.

Links to the posts/Ao3 fics are under the read more and will be updated throughout October. Not sure if I will get to every day's prompts, but we shall see!

I'll be tagging posts with #whumptober2021, so if you don't want to see these posts, you can filter that tag!

I'll primarily be writing for DGHDA for these fics.

Link to my Ao3 account

1. All Trussed Up and Still Nowhere to Go: “you have to let go”, barbed wire, bound

Drunken Zip Tie on Ao3

2. Talking Is Overrated: garotte, choking, gagged

The Perks of Working Alone on Ao3

3. Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones, but: taunting, insults, "Who did this to you?"

Just Fix Me on Ao3

4. Trust Fall: "Do you trust me?", taken hostage, pushed

WE HAVE MR. TODD BROTZMAN on Ao3

5. I've Got Red in My Ledger: betrayal, misunderstanding, broken nose

The Tie Between Us on Ao3

6. Touch and Go: bruises, touch starved, hunger

Alone in Gray Hell on Ao3 (dual with Day 20: Lost and Found)

7. My Spidey-Sense Is Tingling: helplessness, numbness, blindness

An Early Grave on Ao3

8. Coughing Up a Lung: pneumothorax (collapsed lung), exotic illness, "Definitely just a cold"

Touch A Nerve on Ao3

9. Rumors of My Death May Have Been Greatly Exaggerated: presumed dead, (blind) rage, tears

A Normal Death on Ao3 (1/2 chapters completed)

10. Oops I Did It Again: hospital, flare up, ice chips

Sick of These Dreams on Ao3

11. Just Keep Swimming: adrift, drowning, dehydration

Adrift Art/Drabble, posted on tumblr

12. It'll Be Fun They Said: torture, made to watch, begging

Share the Pain on Ao3

13. That's Gonna Leave a Mark: "This is gonna suck", burns, cauterization

Burn Art/Drabble, posted on tumblr

14. Under Pressure: crash injuries, beaten, force

Crash Landing on Ao3

15. Feed A Cold, Starve A Fever: delirium, fever dreams, bees

Sick of These Dreams on Ao3

16. On A Need-to-Know Basis: recovery, scars, aftermath

Sharing My Scars on Ao3

17. Field Care 101: "please don't move", hemorrhage, dread

I’m In Bad Shape (Or Bad Shape In Me) on Ao3 (combined with Days 19 and 29)

18. The Doctor Is In: "Now, smile for the camera", doctor's visit, CPR

Partners (In Sickness and In Health) on Ao3

19. Just A Scratch: bitten, bleeding, stabbing

I’m In Bad Shape (Or Bad Shape In Me) on Ao3 (combined with Days 17 and 29)

20. Lost and Found: trunk, trapped under water, solitary confinement

Alone in Gray Hell on Ao3 (dual with Day 6: Touch and Go)

21. That's Where the Blood's Supposed to Be: bleeding through bandages, pressure, blood matted hair

The Blood Is Real on Ao3

22. They Made Me Do It: cursed, demon, obsession

No Rest for the Holistic on Ao3

23. You Break It, You Buy It: auction, ransom, pursuit

Mistakes Were Made on Ao3

24. One Down, Two to Go: self-induced injuries to escape, flashback, revenge

Payment Due on Ao3

25. Hide and Seek: escape, flight, hiding

Don’t Make a Sound on Ao3

26. You Will Go Down with This Ship: fallen, waterfall, trap door

Wings of Fate on Ao3

27. I'm Fine, I Prom...: passing out, vertigo, collapse

Grounded on Ao3 (dual with Day 28)

28. It's Not Just in Your Head: "Good, you're finally awake”, nightmares, panic

Grounded on Ao3 (dual with Day 27)

29. All Work and No Play: "You’re still not dead?", too weak to move, overworked

I’m In Bad Shape (Or Bad Shape In Me) on Ao3 (combined with days 17 and 19)

30. Digging Your Own Grave: major character death, left for dead, ghosts

The Detective and The Ghost on Ao3

31. Hurt & Comfort: disaster zone, trauma, prisoner

Agency Fire Art, posted on tumblr

#whumptober2021 #masterpost #dghda #don't reblog this will be updated through october :)

[pixie88]

Delilah

Chapter 1 - Alone - Third A&E Series.

A/N: I originally posted this on a side blog but I was having trouble switching between the two and I also didn’t want to start again. As I said there this A&E series is a lot more darker, hitting RL subjects I have been through myself please don’t judge me as you can’t make me feel an worse than I have made myself in the past. The stigma around these subjects are real and so many people don’t speak out about them. Friends and family don’t even know the secrets I will reveal in these chapters as I am ashamed and worry about what they will think. I hope this helps even just one person realise they aren’t alone. I hope you like it 😘

I’m not going to annoy people with re-tags, so I’m not tagging in these first two chapters as most my usual tags have read it.

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1905

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Angst & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

A Year and a half after the last chapter of A&E Together.

"She's beautiful, Ellie! A girl! We have a little girl," she looks over to him feeding their daughter. All the panic and worry was worth it! She thought to herself as she's getting stitched up.

16 week's earlier.

This pregnancy had been harder on her than Charlie's, her morning sickness had carried on until 24 weeks, she was in pain with her hips and back. Adam made her give up work at 32 weeks. She was reluctant, but knew he was right, plus at home, she could do more research on shops for sale in London.

By the time she had hit 36 weeks she had found the perfect shop, they had a cheeky weekend away in London to view the property while Ellie's mum had Charlie for them. Being heavily pregnant they didn't do much sight seeing, but they did spent a lot of time tangled beneath the sheets in the hotel room. This would probably be the last time in a long time they would have time alone, so they wanted to make the most of it. 

When they arrived back home Ellie had to sort out the internal and external work. She had put in an offer and was in the proceeds of owning the new shop being, so close to the end of her pregnancy Adam took over all the dealings of the new shop not wanting his wife stressed. 40 weeks Ellie woke on her due date irritated and fed up with being pregnant their little lady showed no signs of wanting to come out.

That afternoon Ellie was in the bathroom when she thought her water had broken, looking down at the floor, she was expecting to see clear waters but instead she saw crimson red puddles of blood. She calls out to Adam who was downstairs soon rushed up to his panicked wife. Shock grew on his face as he saw what had her so panicky. He quickly regained his composure, trying not to worry his heavily pregnant wife.

Adam quickly called her midwife who told them to head to the hospital after dropping Charlie at Elaine's door. He helped an hysterical Ellie into the car. On the way her contractions started they were very close together so when they arrived, he practically had to bridal carry her out to the car with her bag to the labour ward where they handed him a wheel chair. Once in the delivery suite and after a few puffs of gas and air Ellie start to calm down she was so mellow that she wasn't even bothered when the doctor took a sample of her blood, she usually hated blood tests but the gas and air had worked its magic.

When the doctor came in Ellie was completely out of it. Between contractions, she was drifting, those few seconds between each one felt like heaven "Sorry, did you say your name is Doctor Curry? I bet you had the korma taken out of you at school!" she laughs at her own joke, then apologizes when she realised what she had said "Don't worry, I know it's the gas and air talking believe me, I've had worse. We are just going to listen to baby and see how they are! OK?" She nods.

After 10 minutes whooshing the doctor and midwife didn't look very happy with the result "What's wrong?" She asked him. He had that look all doctor have when they're about to tell you bad news "You baby's heart beat keeps dipping" tears started forming in her eyes "Dipping? What do you mean?" He hands her a tissue "Mrs Barlow, we want to deliver your baby as safely as possible and with the fluctuations of their heart beat you have an hour to deliver this baby, or we will have to take you down to theatre for an emergency c-section" her heart sank "But how am I going to have a baby in less than an hour? She just said I'm only 3 centimetres" She looks up at Adam, he's calm which soothe her.

"Well, we need to first break your waters, hopefully that should speed things along a bit. So, I'm going to leave Charlotte here to do that and I will be back in half an hour to see how you are doing" DR. Curry makes his way for the door. "Ellie, after your next contraction I'm going try and break your waters. So, I need you to tell me when it's over, OK?" Ellie nods the next contraction comes and goes. Charlotte successful breaks her waters "That feels so warm!" Ellie laughs just as the next contraction starts to build.

"Oh my god! I feel like I need to push!" She screams as the contraction takes hold. "Ellie if you need to push, then push, but little pushes!" Scared her body is tricking her, she refuses "I can't! You said I was only 3 centimetres. I'm not ready!" She hisses at Charlotte "Hey Ellie, listen to me if that's what your body wants to do then do it. I will keep an eye if nothing happens we will stop! OK? You need to trust what your body is telling you to do!"

The next contraction build she begins to push... crashing Adam's hand in the process until it fades again "You're doing brilliant, beautiful" Adam kisses her forehead "Anything?" She asks her midwife "Well, I can see the top of baby's head..." She's cut off by the next contractions "There's the head" Charlotte tells her "With the next contraction she'll be here" another starts and Ellie pushes again "And here she is 7:43PM welcome to the world little one!" Charlotte says as she cleans her up.

"Ellie, you did it again! She's here!" Adam cups her face and kisses her lips "Skin to skin?" Charlotte asks, Ellie nods "I'll just get Daddy to cut the cord" she looks over to Adam and hands him the scissors. He proudly cuts through the cord before Charlotte moves her to Ellie's chest "Does she have a name?" Charlotte looks at both of them "We're still haven't decid..." she cuts Adam off "Delilah!" Ellie looks up at Adam as the brightest smile appears on his face "Aww that's lovely! Where did you get that from?" She asks the pair.

"It was my Nan's name" Adam says not quite believing she finally had a name and a name that means something to him. "That's sweet! Ellie do you want to give Delilah to Daddy while we get this afterbirth delivered?" Charlotte places Delilah in a towel passes her to Adam as DR. Curry walks in "How are we do...oh baby is here! Wow how long did that take?" He looks over to Charlotte "15 minutes after I broke her water. She had the urge to push right away!" He looks at her stunned "Whoa! That's amazing have you requested her IV drip yet?"

Ellie looks confused "IV drip?" He looks over to her "We estimated you probably lost just over a pint of blood. This will just stop anymore bleeding" Charlotte smiles at a worried Ellie "Nothing to worry about its just because you've lost more than usually. It's routine"

"I'll go and get what we need. While you finish up in here" DR. Curry says as he leave the room.

Later, Charlotte has shift had ended and a new midwife had taken over "When can I go for a shower?" Ellie asks her new midwife Demi she wanders over checks the IV drip monitor "You have another 45 minutes on this then you should be OK" another midwife walks in and calls Demi out of the room a few minutes later she comes back in "We are going to have to move you up to postnatal ward now" Ellie looked shocked with Charlie's Labour she was allowed to have a shower before heading up.

Her legs were still covered in blood as well as her hospital gown. She got off the bed with her IV drip and into a wheelchair, Adam close behind with Delilah. She gets into her cubicle and take a seat in the chair after the midwife leave, she bursts into tears Adam puts Delilah down in her cot and rushes over to his wife "Hey, what's up beautiful?"

She looks up at him "Everything I'm covered in blood, I'm still in this awful thing. I want get into bed, but I can't sit on there like this! I want to cuddle my baby, but my arms are cover in blood. I feel dirty like I'm a cast member of the walking dead! And from what it sounds like we have a snorer the other side of this stupid curtain" He lifts up his wife's chin "Watch Delilah I'll be back in a minute" he gets up and leaves the cubicle through the curtain.

10 minutes later he comes back with a wheel chair and a midwife "You help her into the chair and grab her bag I'll grab baby" the midwife tells Adam. Wiping her tears she looks up at him "What's going on?" He smiles at her "You'll see now come on!" He lifts her out of her chair and into the wheel chair. They walk down the hall and through a door. Once inside she spots another bed and a bathroom "Adam?"

She looks up at him "This was the last one they had!" She looks at him still confused, he laughs, "£90 a night for a private room with a bath in the bathroom and this lovely lady has said if you've had over 80 percent of that drip she'll take it off you, so you can go for a soak" her eyes well up and she starts to cry again.

"It suppose to make you happy not sad!" He laughs, "Happy tears!" The midwife smiles at them both as she catches sight of Ellie, she shook her head "Oh dear, look at the state of you! They let you come up here like that! You poor thing, let me put her next to the bed and get you off this. Even if I have to put you back on after you can't sit like that!" She puts Delilah next the bed and takes Ellie off the drip before helping her to the bathroom.

20 minutes later all fresh from her shower, she emerges from the bathroom in her own comfortable clothes. Adam is changing Delilahs nappy. He looks up "Feeling better?" She smiles as she nods at him before she gets onto the bed next him. She places a kiss on his cheek, "Thank you!" He looks over to her "Why are you thanking me? You did all the hard work!" He places Delilah back in her cot "You were calm while I was losing it! I crashed your hand and you spent money on a hospital room just to make me happy!"

He laughs, "I did have my own motives! No one, not even me was going to sleep with a motorbike snoring next door!" he pulls her to his chest and pulls over the blanket over the both of them "We better sleep while she does. So, night beautiful!" She kisses his cheek "Night! I love you!" She feels him chuckle "I love you more"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 2.

#a&e #adam x mc #alone #fictionalstory #angst #child birth #pnd

[hyah-lian]

I posted 2,137 times in 2022

That's 2,137 more posts than 2021!

188 posts created (9%)

1,949 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ezdotjpg

@wakingwinds

@transzeldas

@sister-dear

@triforce-of-mischief

I tagged 598 of my posts in 2022

#lu tag - 66 posts

#linked universe - 62 posts

#hyah-txt - 49 posts

#linked universe fic - 37 posts

#lu fic - 33 posts

#ez's bonus links - 32 posts

#fic tag - 29 posts

#bonus links - 27 posts

#lu hyrule - 25 posts

#srb - 24 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#sometimes im like. i need some sleep help. take a melatonin and then im fuckin giddy & bouncing off the walls til 2 am when i took it at 8

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

@skyloftian-nutcase fanfic, for your Healthcare AU? It's more likely than you think.

I hope it's ok to post it and tag you like this ;;;; that one post yesterday got my brain goin. I hope its not too out of character for your boys or too off base on the situation lol

--------------------

The staff section of the cafeteria had been cleared of tables and filled to the brim with CPR mannequins, gym mats, and a small army of staff in various locations around the space. 

A few, like Wars and Time were pacing through with other educators brought in for the training exercise. Others sat, stood, or laid with index cards; acting out or reading off their cards to the handful who were on their turn for acting as triage and treatment.

"Oh oof ouch, I am dying. My sats are unreadable. Oh no," Legend deadpanned from the blue mat on the floor while one of the hospital's newer hires rocked from foot to foot above him.

"Don't panic, breathe," Time raised his voice a little over the din of the emergency preparedness practice.

"And- and check the leads if they are there? And- or call a code for help?" Time nodded and the new hire ran through the motions.

"Cool, alright Wind, so what is the next step?" Twilight grinned and pulled the young respiratory-therapist-in-training's attention back to the scenario at hand.

"Oh, yeah. Geeze, it's pretty loud and busy."

"Emergencies tend to be. You don't have to get it perfect, that's why we do the course."

"Right," Wind nodded and rechecked the card with the scenario information, "well then, uh, little mister bus crash. Your arm is probably broken and my what big bones you have for a second grader."

"Ha-ha. Take it seriously, please."

"I am. Reading the room, this kid wouldn't take kindly to coddling and lying from what I've heard. Plus it's not a red level emergency so-"

Wind laid Twilight's arm on his own legs on top of his folded up sweater. With slow and purposeful movements he held the hand still gently with one of his own, while the other went for the splinting materials in one of the tubs to the side.

"Your arm is going to get a, uhm," Wind furrowed his brow when Wars and another one of the course leaders walked by, "special jacket that'll hug it and help make it feel better until a doctor can get you a cast."

"My card just says 'inconsolable crying', I'm sure you can imagine what that is like."

"No, no Twi- do it right!" 

Legend was propped up on his elbow staring back at the two of them, oh so casually sipping his energy drink while his caretaker was tearing through the provided bins and listening to Time talk them through their panic.

"I'm not taking advice from an unconscious body with an untraceable rhythm that is somehow sitting up and drinking that crap."

"For all you know I'm asleep with detached leads," he stage whispered before slurping obnoxiously.

"I'm going to tie this here and here to help make your arm feel better," Wind half shouted over the other two.

Twilight flipped his behavior card around to show both Wind and Legend the underlined block lettering saying 'inconsolable crying' and shrugging. 

Wind rolled his eyes and the motion took his whole head lolling back on his shoulders in exasperation. Legend, the bug, just snorted. Then, of course, Wars looped back around to watch.

"Okay, one knot," Wind spoke as he continued, "and two. How brave! Quick, Legend! Wiggle your fingers!"

"Wha-"

"Flex those fingies! C'mon!" 

Legend flexed all of one at Wind's smiling face.

"Watch it!" Twi shouted before catching the glare from Wars. "Thats a swear finger. Tsk tsk."

"That's right! You should show him how to properly wiggle your fingers, kiddo," Wind, to his credit, avoided the patronizing tone most of the others put on when working with younger patients.

See the full post

35 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#4

Wind joyfully infodumping about deep-sea horrors and the funky fish and shit from his world

Just blissfully describing a different breed of octoroks that flash colors and are wildly territorial (like a Humboldt squid basically) specifically and getting a collective what the fuck from the group and he just

"OH That isn't even the coolest part- *goes into an indepth history and description of how Tetra and the pirates did research on them bc Tetra is also super interested in them*"

Anyway.

35 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#3

Wild: the last thing for this soup to be perfect is just... hmm... thyme leaves.

Time, sensing the perfect opportunity: *stands and walks away from the cooking fire*

Wild: ???? Your soup?

Twilight: Even when he's got laryngitis he still has dad jokes ugh.

36 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#2

You think I would, now, wouldn't you? (LinkedUniverse fic)

For prompt 1. ‘Do You Know How To Take Care of a Sick Person?’

I felt like trying to take part in sicktember/whumptober 2022

I have a few written so far, but not a ton. I don't know if I will do every prompt/post every day, but why not do some writing and try to have fun, right? I love the cozy feels of ppl taking care of their friends and stuff, so I find this kinda thing cute. Also posted on A03 here

no real warnings, the only distressing thing is someone feels faint for a moment

------------

Legend coughed hard into his elbow. When he pulled back, his shirt stayed hooked over his nose for a second before falling away fully revealing his blotchy red face. And the scowl, of course.

“Do you even know how to take care of a sick person?”

Hyrule winced at the crackling behind Leg’s choppy words. His own face flared red for a moment before he caught himself and took a deep… deep ish… breath.

“‘Cause, I get you’re a great healer. Fantastic-” he paused to clear his throat, though it sounded more like shaking a tin of rocks in chu jelly, “saved our asses more than I can count.”

“Okay. What can I do, then?” Hyrule screwed his face up for a second before letting it go slack again. “What would help?”

Legend pulled his shirt up and turned to cough away from Hyrule’s direction for another long moment. By the time he came up for air, his eyes were watering and Hyrule was squatting beside him with some water.

“Thahsss-” He cleared his throat again, “Thats a good start.”

Hyrule sighted and plonked his head to his hand to pinch and smooth away the tension between his brows. Once Legend had enough, Hyrule took the cup and stood, turning to the low fire with warm honeyed water resting atop in a pot.

“No wonder everyone jumped to go out and try to find out where we are,” Legend stared at his hands in his lap, “Sorry, I’m being kind of an ass.”

Legend could see Hyrule stiffen a few steps away.

“It’s… not okay, but I know you don’t mean it.” Hyrule shifted his weight. Standing still with his back to Legend he continued, “Yer…. feelin’ crummy…”

Hyrule almost sounded like he was drifting away. Legend sat up a bit more, face pinched and voice dry and cracking out before he could say anything.

“Rulie?”

Hyrule staggered a step and crouched down. He plonked onto his ass and turned to give Legend a pale, shaky smile.

“‘M good,” he huffed out a laugh, “Just got lightheaded for a second.”

“Oh my god,” Legend dragged his hands down his face and whined, “we’re cursed. We’ve got to be cursed. You’re sick too, now, aren’t you?”

“What can I say to get you to not worry?” Hyrule shrugged. He started feeling a bit floaty-headed after dinner, and the sore throat and aches blooming throughout the morning really cemented his desire to stick with the veteran at basecamp.

“Grab two cups and get your ass over here and sit,” Legend paused for a moment, “please.”

“Sure thing,” Hyrule stood up more carefully and retrieved the sad excuse for tea and cough remedy, “so, when can I start being pissy and snarky too? It might be fun.”

Legend snorted himself into another coughing fit that kicked off Hyrule laughing and coughing along.

“I would kill to see you snark off to someone,” Legend took the warm cup while Hyrule settled down beside him.

65 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

tumblr lu sexyman contest, but consider: dad bod + farmer tan Time.

plus a no-colour version if u wanna colour it yourself

66 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 14*

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

This chapter literally took me all day, and it's kinda super long, but since I'm only going to 15 it had to be done. Also, I wanted to get a certain part and all the bullshit detail action needs to be written before we get there so I just kept writing to get there. Lulz.

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@mrsrafaelbarba

Okay and can I just say about the Goodbye Love thing it was in my head since I had her say "I need to go away".

This was supposed to be the preview:

Mimi Please don't touch me Understand I'm scared I need to go away

Mark I know a place - a clinic

Benny A rehab?

Mimi Maybe - could you?

Benny I'll pay

And this is for chapter 15: Mimi Goodbye love Goodbye love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Hello disease....

*DUN DUN DUNNNN*

---------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in another room. This one was more lavish and beautiful; the sunset was peeking through green silk curtains with a matching chaise lounge. You were now in pink silk pajamas as opposed to a hospital gown, and you weren’t hooked up to near as many wires. Just a pack attached to your arm linked to your sides.

“What the…?” You cautiously crept out of bed, examining the room.

So many questions flew through your mind at that moment. How did you get here? Where exactly were you? Who the hell changed you while you were passed out? It was too much to imagine. You walked over to the full length mirror and examined yourself. You were still semi pale, but you looked pretty damn good for just having surgery this morning.

You walked back towards your bed where your phone was laying on the nightstand. You went to check your messages when you saw the date-- it had been three days. THREE DAYS?

“What the actual fuck--?” You muttered.

Were you in a Black Mirror episode? How did you lose three whole days of your life?! You began to panic, making you pace the room. Wasn’t there a button you could do? You quickly looked around the room for anything, but all you found was a TV remote.

“Oh are you fucking--” You started to curse the world when you saw a little drawing of a nurse on one of the buttons. You frantically pushed it until a girl who looked like she was a nurse out of a porno as opposed to a hospital came running in.

“Oh my god, I thought you were like, dying or something,” She rolled her eyes and twirled her hair like she was a teenage stereotype.

“Where the hell am I? Why am I---”

“Okay you need to like, chill babe,” Nurse Betty put her hands up. “

“I’m not your babe, mmkay pumpkin? We are not friends,” You pushed her hands down. “Now why don’t you get your little chart and explain to me what’s going on in the Twilight Zone?”

“Alright, well--” She whipped out a mini tablet from her scrubs and flipped through it. “You got here three days ago with an order to keep you in a medically induced coma-- Ooooh, wow that sounds like some soap opera shit. Where your organs harvested on the black market?”

“WHAT?” You grabbed the tablet. That DID sound like some soap opera shit. “You read the tablet, all it said was the details about the coma and then FILES SEALED.

“Can you-- unlock this, please?” You shoved the tablet back in her hands.

“Um no, you need a supervisor for that babe,”

“Can you please get someone to unlock this then, BABE?” Your eye began to twitch from stress.

“Yeah, sure I’ll try,” She shrugged and walked back out of the room. You continued to pace faster now, googling “HARVESTED ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET”, when a doctor came in wearing navy blue scrubs, looking like Derek Shepherd.

“Well hey there, beautiful,” He grinned at you.

“...What is happening?” You muttered, staring at him. He was gorgeous, you’d probably be more flustered if you weren’t so freaked out and pissed off.

“What kind of soap opera hospital is this?!” You scowled.

“Hey, just because we take care of ourselves around here doesn’t mean it’s Grey’s Anatomy up here,” He made a face.

“...Could’ve fooled me, McDreamy,”

“....Just because my name is Derek doesn’t mean I’m that tool,” He frowned.

“Oh my god you’re kidding me right?” You had to laugh at the irony.

“You’re probably just grumpy because you haven’t eaten for three days,” He patted your head. “How about a nice filet mignon?”

“Wha…?” You looked around the room in disbelief. “How about you tell me where I am and how I got here?”

“You’re at Whistling Pines Hospital and Rehabilitation Center in Hartford Connecticut, Miss Y/N,”

“Connecticut?!” You gasped. “Sonny said it was just upstate New York. Jesus Christ he sent me out of state?!”

“Calm yourself,” Derek put a hand on your shoulder. “We’re basically on the state line, Mr. Carisi didn’t send you to Siberia,”

“...And why exactly was I brought here against my will?” You crossed your arms.

“Against your will?” He snorted. “Your paperwork says you requested to be out while you recovered so you wouldn’t be tempted to ask for pain meds or anything. Part of the detox, you understand,”

“Detox?” Your face scrunched. “Seriously? So...so now what, you escort me down to the padded room now that I’m healed?”

“No, no of course not,” He shook his head. “Our rehab rooms are much nicer than this. And yours is all ready for you,”

“....Yeah, alright,” You shrugged, looking around the room.

“Wonderful,” He gave you another 100 watt smile before opening the door and motioning you to follow him. You walked for a while through what seemed like a normal hospital wing, then you came to two large doors that said “REHABILITATION WING”.

Derek opened it and let you go through first, into a beautiful lobby. The walls were made of marble, there was a koi pond with a waterfall in the middle of it, sparkling water stations next to big leather chairs. It was like a spa.

“Wow...” You whispered as you admired it while you walked.

“Yes, I know,” He chuckled. “It’s quite impressive, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” You began to feel guilty; how much was this costing Sonny? This place looked like it cost the down payment on a house to stay in. You followed Derek down a hallway that looked like a hotel room hallway more than a rehab center, until he stopped at a door labelled 312.

“Ah here we are,” He opened the door and let you go inside first once again. It was an even more lavish room than you woke up in. A nice king bed with fluffy pillows and silk comforters were covered with extra blankets if you needed them. There was a huge sofa in front of a large screen TV, and a little kitchenette with a small fridge, cabinets, a dishwasher, and a microwave.

“....Wow,” You continued to stare in awe at the luxurious amenities this place had.

“Indeed,” Derek smiled. “Now, the TV comes loaded with digital cable and all the streaming services. Our WIFI password is LIVELAUGHLOVE, the fridge is stocked with organic, healthy foods only, but if you’d like to request something you can give our front desk a ring,”

You just nodded as you checked out the room.

“Now,” He cleared his throat. “For the icky part,”

“...The icky part?” You sputtered with a sarcastic smile. “Where did you go to medical school, Sesame Street?”

“Ha ha,” He rolled his eyes. “You will need to stay in your room at all times unless it’s social time, or group time. We do have several common areas such as a pool and a gym, but you’ll need to schedule times to use them, you can’t just walk around on your own,”

“Ah,” You nodded. “So it is a prison, just a very nice prison,”

“It’s not a prison, Miss Y/N,” He shook his head. “Not for you, anyway,”

“Really? Because it sounds like--”

“Your cousin did pay for your residency here, but you’re not under a court order or anything so you’re not confined here. Most of our residents have to be here several months before they’re even allowed out of their rooms at all, you should consider yourself lucky,”

“...Right,” You rolled your eyes. “Where is my cousin, anyway?” You asked. “Is he back at the hospital in New York?”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand,”

“Oh I guess it’s been a few days,” You thought out loud. “He must have gone home by now,”

“...Well I’d sure hope so,” He chuckled.

“So..” You took a seat on the couch. “What am I doing now, warden?”

“Well like I said, I can have food sent up to you if you’re hungry,” He explained as he handed you your own tablet. “We have these for you so you can browse our menu for food and amenities,”

“Mmmkay…”

“Tomorrow’s social time is at 10 am, and your group therapy is at noon,”

“..Uh huh,” You nodded as you absent mindedly flipped through the menu.

“It’s mandatory,” He added.

“...Right,”

“Wonderful,” He beamed. “Now your bathroom is there, obviously,” He nodded to a door on the other side of the room. “It has a shower with three different pressures, and a spa bathtub. I recommend you take a long hot bath and relax, the first night is usually the hardest to get used to.

“Right…”

“Alright well I’ll leave you to it,” He nodded at you with another dreamy smile.

He walked out and left you to your own devices. You walked over to the drawers and pulled them out. They were full of your clothes, how did they get these so fast? It was so bizarre all of this happened while you were out, it really did seem like some kind of episode out of Dynasty or something.

You decided to call Sonny and get some things sorted out. You picked up your phone and dialed his number and let it ring.

“Oh hey...you, how you feelin’?”

“I’m good,” You went and sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m good,”

“Really? Not sore or anything?”

“What? OH-- Yeah, y’know, of course, obviously,”

“...Thanks so much for this, Sonny. It’s gorgeous here,”

“Anytime….sweetie,”

“Is um, is Rafael doing better? Do you know?”

“Uh he’s...he’s fine, I’m sure,”

“...Well that’s good,”

“I’ll be up there next week to see you, you hang in there okay?”

“...Yeah, alright,”

“Night darlin’, you sleep well. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Sonny hung up the phone and glanced over at Rafael who was busy writing his closing arguments for their case tomorrow.

“....Who was that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Niece,” He lied.

“Mmm,”

“...How are you feelin’, by the way Barba?”

“Carisi, we’re not discussing anything personal, ever again. I told you that,” He grumbled, not looking up from his desk. He winced in pain every so often when he pulled on his stitches while writing.

“...Right,” He nodded sadly. He did feel guilty about all of this, but he knew in a few weeks it wouldn’t matter. You’d both forget about each other and move on, it was for the best.

--------

The next day you woke up and felt this overwhelming sense of dread. It was like everything had finally caught up to you, all the memory of how you got here came back to you. You missed Rafael almost immediately, Sonny’s words about how you had traumatized him rang in your head.

You wanted so desperately to call him and apologize, tell him how you would have never hurt him on purpose, and that all you wanted to do was make it up to him-- but you knew you had no way of doing that, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your tablet began to go off, alarms for SOCIAL TIME were set on it. You tried to turn it off, but apparently a counselor had to do it when you arrived. Sneaky bastards. You sighed and pulled on some PJ pants, trying to ignore the blaring sound. You stomped out of your room and down the hall, down some stairs to a huge room labelled “REC ROOM.”

“Welcome Y/N!” A bright and cheery nurse came over and greeted you. “We have lots of activities for you here,” She began to show you around. “We have arts and crafts, several board games, and the Cards Against Humanity rounds get quite rowdy!”

“...Right,” You nodded softly, feeling more and more hopeless as you saw all the other “residents” mingling-- and by mingling, meaning most of them were walking around like soulless zombies. Was this your life now?

----

One Week Later

“Hey…” You saw Rafael laying down in front of you, reaching out for your hand. You took it, not believing this was real.

“I love you, Y/N…” He smiled at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I love you too Rafael..”

You shot up in bed, it happened again. You had been having the same dream ever since you had gotten to Whistling Pines. It felt so real, especially when you touched his hand. And you always woke up alone, stuck in your prison. Never to see Rafael ever again; It was torture. No matter how fancy the prison was, it was still a prison. You looked at the clock on your bedside table- 3:30 am. You wondered what Rafael was doing at that moment-- well, probably sleeping, duh. Or maybe he was up late, working on law stuff.

You wondered if he was thinking about you, if he ever thought about you. He didn’t seem angry the last time you saw him, in fact you were pretty sure you remembered him holding you and crying. Well, like Sonny said he was probably just upset having to see someone like that again. But-- something inside told you that you didn’t leave on bad terms. Maybe you had been too quick to just delete and block his number. But it was too late to do anything about that now. You laid back down and cried yourself back to sleep for the fifth time that night.

=============

Two weeks later

Sonny drove up to Hartford early Friday morning, hoping to get back to the city that night. He signed in at the front desk, muttering obscenities under his breath. He paced the lobby waiting for you, trying to keep his calm. Finally you emerged from the big double doors: You were dressed in a t-shirt that used to be tight, but now it draped on your shoulders. Your hip hugger jeans were more like men’s jeans, hanging off your pelvis. Your hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and you had no makeup on. You walked over to Sonny who crossed his arms at the sight of you.

“Hey, Sunshine…” He pulled you into a tight hug, your face barely moved into a small smile.

“Can we talk?” He asked as he led you to one of the leather couches.

“Sure,” You nodded like a robot as you sat next to him.

“So Sunshine,” He sighed. “They tell me you haven’t uh, been doin’ so hot,”

“Oh, have they?” You mumbled, playing with a hole in your jeans.

“Yeah they said you’re not eating, you skip the group, you won’t talk to anybody,” He put a hand on your knee. “Is everything okay? Is it your new liver? The diabetes kicking yer ass?”

“...No, I’m fine,” You shrugged feebly.

“....Seriously?” He removed his hand, his soft tone gone. “So, nothing’s wrong with you physically? You’re just being a brat?”

“Excuse me?” You suddenly blinked in surprise.

“Here I came up here because I was worried somethin’ was really wrong with you, like you were rejecting the donation or-- or the trauma was too much, but you’re tellin’ me you just won’t cooperate?” He snapped at you.

“...What do you want me to say, Sonny? Sorry?” You snarked back.

“I want you to tell me why!” He tried not to yell but this was ridiculous. “Do you know how expensive this place is?!”

“Oh wow,” You scoffed. “Well I’m sorry my recovery is so expensive for you, Son,”

“It’s not even recovery, Y/N! You’re-- You’re just laying around here like a fuckin’ angsty teen!” He barked. “Why aren’t you trying? Don’t you wanna get outta here and get back to your life?”

“Maybe I don’t!” You yelled and stood up. “Maybe I don’t care about getting out of here, or not. There’s no point anymore,”

“What?” Sonny furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“...Because,” You looked down at the floor.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Sonny threw up his hands, finally standing up himself. “Is this about Barba, really Y/N? You knew him for a few fuckin’ days, gimme a fuckin BREAK,”

“He was wonderful to me, Sonny! He was wonderful and loving and caring and YOU made me go off on him, and then I--” You paused, tears caught in your throat. “I fucking traumatized him. I hurt him so badly he didn’t even want to see me when i was dying,”

“I mean-- how bad of a person am I?!” You tried not to break down in the lobby. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be around anyone anymore, I just destroy things. Hurt people. I shouldn’t be around anyone,”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Sonny sighed. “You need to stop, alright? If you actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t--”

“I don’t want to get better!!!!” You flat out stomped your foot, not caring about making a scene now.

“Y/N, tough love time. You need to get your shit together and forget about Barba, alright? I can’t keep paying for you to stay here--” He put both hands on your shoulders.

“So let me out,” You glared at him.

“....And if I let you out, are you going to stay sober?” He gave you a suspicious look.

“Nope,” You said with a smirk.

“Y/N come the fuck on,” He threw up his hands.

“What?” You crossed your arms. “I’m being honest. So either you keep wasting your money here, or let me go,”

“And what, let you kill yourself?” He asked angrily.

“...Maybe,” You muttered.

“Sunshine, come here--” Sonny went to wrap you in a hug, his t-shirt caught up on yours causing it to pull up on his torso. Your eyes went wide when you caught sight of it, letting go of him.

“....Where’s your scar?” You blinked in disbelief, trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.

“What?” He began to panic.

“Your scar,” You pulled your t-shirt to reveal your own scar from the transplant. “You should have one,”

“Oh, Um--” Sonny began to rack his brain for an explanation, but your brain was moving faster.

“.....You didn’t give me part of your liver, did you?” You pulled away from him.

“Uh well--” He sighed “Not exactly, no,”

“Then who did?” You eyed him accusingly.

“They got you an anonymous--”

“Oh don’t even give me that shit, Sonny,” You stopped him. “This-- this whole thing, when I got here. It felt so much like, like a set up. A soap opera plot,”

“A soap opera?” Sonny laughed. “Come on Sunshine, don’t--”

“Why did you ship me here so fast, Sonny?” You asked, your brain now on a roll.

“What?” He half laughed. “So that you could get started early--”

“No,” You stopped him. “You could have just let me come here on my own, CONSCIOUS,”

“Well I just wanted you to skip the DT’s--” He tried to think of a defense.

“DT’s don’t happen to you if you get drunk ONCE, Sonny!” You raised your voice.

“Well how was I supposed to--” He looked around nervously.

“Who really gave me their liver, Sonny?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I told you, I don’t--” He began to lie again.

“I’ll look it up,” You threatened, making his eyes go wide.

“Y-You can’t do that,” He protested.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to?” You challenged him.

“...Because--”

“Rafael did, didn’t he?” You weren’t letting him think of any more lies.

“Look Y/N, he just wanted to help you out so that you wouldn’t die, like his dad. He couldn’t save him so he saved you. Doesn’t that sound like him?”

You had to admit, it really did. But why lie about it?

“So why didn’t you tell me that, Sonny? Why tell me you did it? Why didn’t you just tell me he did it to be nice, and not that he hated me?”

“I never said he hated you--”

“If you lied to me about that, what else have you been lying to me about?” You put your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“Oh my god…” You started to remember your recurring dream. “It was real, it was real. I know it was real!”

“...What was real?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“I keep having this dream where Rafael is across from me lying on a table, and he tells me that he loves me. And I know that happened I know it did,” You explained.

You were absolutely sure of it now. So many thoughts were running through your mind, you hated that you didn’t remember any of this before.

“What?” Sonny laughed again. “Sunshine it’s just a dream, don’t you think you would remember something like that?”

“They...they gave me something before I went into the OR,” You looked off into nowhere as you tried desperately to recall that morning. “The nurse called it…’giggle juice’,”

“Giggle juice?” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Did you make them give me that too?!” You went for his collar, but a nurse came out of nowhere to hold you back.

“Wha who whoa, Sunshine calm down,” Sonny waved the nurse off of you. “I got her, thanks ma’am,”

“I didn’t tell them to give you anything,” He said softly.

“Yeah, just to keep me out for three days so I wouldn’t ever see Rafael before you sent me here,” You accused him.

“...Not true…” He shook his head.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to talk to him, Sonny?” Tears choked your throat.

“He didn’t want to talk to you--”

“Bullshit!” You stomped your foot, eyeing the nurse who had her eye on you in case you lost it on Sonny again.

“Bullshit, were you scared he was going to tell me what you were really doing? That you were trying to keep us apart?” Tears began dripping from your cheeks. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe you could have been with Rafael this entire time.

“No!” He protested, his eyes darting back and forth. “No, I--”

“I don’t believe you!” You pushed him, the nurse stepped forward but you put your hands up in defeat. “You’re keeping him from me right now, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“That’s why you sent me so far, he has no idea where I am, and he wants to know doesn’t he? He wasn’t traumatized by my ‘incident’, he’s traumatized he lost me!” You hated that you cried when you got angry, it made you so much less intimidating.

“Traumatized is a strong word, Y/N…” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Y’know what Sonny,” You shook your head while you wiped your eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. You bring Rafael here, and I’ll try to get better,”

“...I can’t,” He looked at the floor.

“Wha--Are you serious?” You half laughed sarcastically. “You’d rather me rot in here than--”

“I don’t know where he is, Y/N,” He looked up at you seriously.

“...What?” You asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“He…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He left,”

“What do you mean ‘he left’?” You air quoted left.

“He went on some campaign trail, Hilary I think. He took off across the country, I literally have no idea where he is right now,” He explained.

“Why would he do that?” You asked.

“I don’t know, he said he had to get out of the city--” He shrugged.

“And you couldn’t imagine why?” You gave him a knowing look.

“Oh puh-lease Y/N, he’s not a drama queen like you--” He stopped, thinking about it. “Okay well he might be a drama queen but--”

“You can call him,” You pointed to his pocket.

“I can’t,” He looked down at the ground once again.

“WHY NOT?!” You were getting fed up with him.

“He was….he was super pissed at me for keeping you apart, alright? You’re right. He...he changed his number when he took off, he wants nothing to do with me,”

“So he’s just...gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Sunshine, I promise you. In a few weeks you won’t care about him, and you’re gonna wanna get out of here,”

“Why, you're gonna start adding memory pills to my regiment too?” You scoffed with angry tears in your voice.

“Jesus,” He rolled his eyes. “No, because you’re 22 and you can fall in and out of love like that,” He snapped his fingers.

“No I won’t,” You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to let me out of here or I’ll die in here,”

“God you’re such a--” Sonny sighed in frustration. “I can get them to get you to eat, y’know that right?”

“Do it!” You dared him. “Start treating me like some kind of mental patient, control my life like you think you need to,”

“...I can’t deal with this,” He waved his hands and started to walk away. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, I’m sure you’ll be over this by then,”

“Don’t count on it,” You stomped back into the ward.

-----------------

A week later

You let the night nurse into your room, she brought your meds and a nightly snack.

“Well, are you excited for tomorrow?” She asked, making conversation.

“...What’s tomorrow?” You asked as your downed your pills.

“Your last day!” She smiled.

“...What?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, honey you’re not here on a court order or probation, and your cousin only paid for 30 days. So, you’re leaving tomorrow!”

“You’re just...you’re just letting me go??” You asked in disbelief.

“You’re not happy about that? I’m sure we could talk to your--” She started.

“No!” You stopped her. “No, No I’m totally excited, ready to get back to real life,”

“Good!” She smiled and patted your head. “Make sure you’re all packed, we’ve already filled this room once you leave,”

“...Of course you have,” You rolled your eyes.

She left and you began to frantically pack, ready to get out of here as fast as possible. You would find Rafael on your own, you knew you could.

----------

Sonny’s phone went off while he was out on a call, he saw it was Whistling Pines so he excused himself from the scene and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yes, Mir. Carisi? This is Sylvia at Whistling Pines, we were just checking on Miss Y/N,”

“....Why would you be checking on her? Don’t you have her?”

“...No sir, she checked out a few days ago,”

“WHAT?!”

“Well it had been 30 days and you had only paid for a month--”

“So you just let her leave?! Why would you do that?!”

“Well sir, for one she’s a grown woman who’s a law abiding citizen, she wasn’t committed here by any kind of law enforcement. And like I said you only paid--”

“For a month,” He growled. “That’s all that matters to you people, isn’t it?”

“Well sir, this is a very expensive--”

“Where did she go?”

“What do you mean where did she go? She left with you,”

“Uh she sure as hell did NOT,”

“...Well she got in a car with a man…”

“Oh my god,” Sonny almost dropped the phone. “I swear to God if something happens to her because of you people I will sue you SO fast--”

“Okay no need to get hysterical,” She began to panic. “Why don’t you just come here and we’ll figure it out…”

“No I think you’ve done enough,” He growled before hanging up on her.

Where the hell had you gone? And with who?!

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