#rafael barba angst

[detectivesvu]

Emotional Support

Rafael Barba x Fem! Reader

Warnings: None.

A/N: This is a fic based on S15 Ep6!

Word Count: 2.7k

“Maybe we should ditch this city.”

He was quiet. Too quiet. 

Rafael Barba was the most sarcastic and talkative man that you had ever met in your entire life. He could talk about anything and everything for as long as his mouth could open and close. It was only natural of course. He was a criminal prosecutor after all. The majority of his job required talking, arguing, and other various forms of discussion. He would even dare to say that he actually enjoyed talking, and that he didn’t just do it for his career. To sum it up, Rafael was a talker. 

So the fact that he had hardly said a word since he had arrived home from work was concerning. 

It wasn’t uncommon for Rafael to straggle in the door without much sound at first. He was often beat when he returned home from a long day of work, and he was usually pretty sluggish until he was able to settle in at home. He’d walk in and set his briefcase and his pocket belongings by the door to be sure to get them when he was to start the process over the next morning. 

He’d disrobe his blazer and remove his shoes to be able to breathe for a few minutes. He would enter the kitchen or living room first, depending on where you were located at that time. He’d offer you a kiss, some days they were longer than others depending on the kind of day he had. That was when he’d sit and chat with you. He would always take the time to catch up with you 

This was the standard procedure for Rafael. It was a routine that he had become accustomed to, and one that he actually quite liked. He found so much comfort in being able to come home to a calm, serene environment so he could rest his fried brain. He never took that for granted, and that was the reason that you first suspected that something was wrong. 

He entered the front door like a twister. The door was shut behind him just as fast as he had opened it. He whisked into the living room without even checking the kitchen first. He made a beeline for his office (that was originally intended to be a spare bedroom) and sat down at his desk -- blazer, shoes, briefcase, and all. 

You had heard his rushed entrance and his movement to his office. It was an immediate tell that something was up, and you wasted no time investigating. Startling him or worsening his behavior wasn’t your intent. The footsteps that you took towards his open doorway were careful and tender as you approached. He already had a spread of documents and files in front of him that he was rustling through furiously. 

It seemed as if Rafael had evidently brought work home with him, which was something that he tried very hard not to do. Home was home. Work was work. He attempted with every fiber of his being to separate the two. Was it a fruitless attempt? Sometimes. Because it was inevitable that the two would mix.

“Hi, Rafael.” You greeted with the most amiable tone you could sound out.

“Hey, mi amor.” He returned the greeting, but didn’t spare you a glance nor a smile. 

Rafael didn’t tell you much about his cases until after they were over. Some of his cases were sickeningly horrifying, and he felt as if telling you afterwards kept you from worrying so much. 

“How was work today?” You questioned, hoping to get an answer to his demeanor without actually asking. 

“It was fine. Just working on this case.” He replied. 

That wasn’t much of an answer at all. That hadn’t told you anything. It was clear that he didn’t want to talk about it with you right now. His tense shoulders and his stiff frame made that very clear. You backed off for now. There was no sense in pushing him.

“Dinner is almost ready if you want to eat before you get too busy,” You offered. “Only if you want.”

The meek tone in your voice actually made him stop and managed to shine through the fog that had clouded his head. He had been brought back down to Earth simply by hearing your voice. He knew that he needed the break and the nourishment, as well as a little time with you. 

He removed his blazer as he stood from his seat and draped it over the back of his chair. His movements had significantly slowed now, which brought you some relief to know that he wasn’t as frantic now. If he was going to spend all night holed away in his office, it would at least bring you some comfort to know that he had a good meal in his belly.

Rafael took himself to the bathroom to get washed up while you set the table for two. The dinner menu for that night consisted of one of Rafael’s favorites. It was a Cuban dish from his childhood that never failed to satisfy him. His mother had given you a copy of her recipe, and with a few successful practice attempts (and a few failed ones) -- you had mastered it. Something in your chest had told you when you had arrived home to prepare that dish for dinner, and now you were glad that you had listened to your intuition. 

Rafael joined you at the dining table with his shirt now untucked and his belt removed. It also looked as if he had run a hand through his hair to tussle it based on the way that it was sitting more loosely on his head. While he looked relaxed on the outside, you could still tell that he was reeling on the inside. This case must’ve really been something to have him worked up.

Rafael didn’t utter a word during dinner. Dinnertime was usually accompanied with an endless stream of conversation, from both you and Rafael. His reluctance to speak made it difficult for you to initiate a conversation. He clearly wasn’t interested in anything but this case that he was plagued with. It was hard to tell how he was feeling. He wasn’t showing much at all.

His eyes never left the food that was in front of him. He didn’t seem to have much of an appetite, because his fork was pushing his food around the plate rather than delivering it to his mouth. He took an occasional bite here and there, but dinner was the last thing on his mind. 

“If it isn’t good, I can call for takeout.” You spoke to Rafael, and his eyes flickered up to yours.

“No, no. It’s great, mi amor. I’m just not hungry.” He replied honestly and with a weak smile.

He waited until you were finished before standing from the table and clearing his placemat to set his dishes in the sink. Rafael never didn’t offer a helping hand in cleaning up after dinner. This time, though, he made a dash back to his office to get back to whatever he was doing. So much for getting him to eat a good dinner.

Once you washed, dried, and put away your plates -- you returned to your previous position by standing in his doorway. He knew you were there watching him, trying to figure it out without asking. Rafael appreciated that you weren’t trying to pry or push him for answers. But he knew that you wanted them, so he would give them.

“Alejandro.” He replied sternly without any context.

There was a pause between his response and your answer, because you didn’t know what the hell he was talking about.

“What?” You asked.

“I keep trying- I just can’t believe it,” He stuttered. “I’ve known this man practically my entire life. W-we grew up together. There’s just- there has to be a mistake.” 

“Hey, hey,” You spoke, suddenly realizing that he was getting worked up again. “Slow down. Tell me what’s going on.”

Rafael swallowed hard as he continued to scan over the photo evidence that he had looked at a thousand times already.

“Alejandro Muñoz. You know Alex.” Rafael clarified.

You did indeed know Alex Muñoz. He was one of Rafael’s childhood best friends that you had met on a few occasions. Neither you nor Rafael were graced with the chance to see him very often. Alex was all wrapped up in the world of politics. Between being a state senator and now being the front-runner for mayor of New York City -- he was a busy man that didn’t have much time for leisurely catching up. 

Alex had been all over the news lately. The election was just around the corner, and Alex had been doing all kinds of events and press for his campaign. He was a huge advocate for fixing the New York City school system, as well as creating more affordable housing. He was a fan favorite, and his success was looking promising. 

For the most part, this election was expected to be a landslide. You didn’t imagine that Rafael’s upset had anything to do with the predicted winner of the election. 

“What about Alex?” You raised a brow.

Rafael didn’t answer your question, but instead posed a question of his own.

“If I were to tell you that Alex could potentially be involved in a sex scandal, what would you say?” He asked.

“No way,” You replied. “Alex would never.” 

“Right. That’s what I thought.” Rafael sighed with frustration, but it wasn’t directed towards you. 

That was when you decided to press him for real answers, because now you felt involved. You fully entered his office, standing at the side of his desk to make him look at you.

“Raf, come on. Tell me what’s really happening here.” You persuaded him.

Rafael sighed again and sat back into his chair. There was no sense in keeping this from you now. Within the next 24 hours, it would be all over the news and you’d find out soon enough. Rafael started his story from the beginning.

He told you about Alex showing up at his office asking for a personal favor for their childhood friend Eddie Garcia who had been accused of rape. Rafael had begun working with SVU through their investigation, and the situation became worse with the more that they found. 

They discovered that the “victim” wasn’t actually a victim at all, and that she had a history of extorting big, powerful men. It became clear that Eddie wasn’t the target at all, but instead it was Alex. 

Rafael explained the explicit photos that Alex was caught red-handed sharing in the middle of one of his events on a fan page website that Rollins had created. Rafael told you how Alex was caught with sexual pictures from a 15-year-old high school sophomore with no real explanation or reason. It was a shock. A sickening surprise that was tearing Rafael to pieces. 

“He believes that I have a vendetta against him. He claims it’s a Wall Street setup to keep him from winning,” Rafael shook his head. “He could be charged with possession.” 

The churning in your stomach wasn’t pleasant. Never in a million years would you have thought that Alejandro Muñoz would be involved in something like this. Eddie and Alex were both in some very hot water.

“So if you go after him now it’s a political hit,” You crossed your arms, looking over the papers on Raf’s desk. “If you wait until after the election, it’s a coverup.” 

“More or less,” He grumbled. “It’s out of my hands now. I’ve turned the photos and evidence over to a special prosecutor.”

“So you’re still involved because…?” You began with hoping that he’d fill in your thoughts. 

He blinked slowly. He was tired, and you could see it. These kinds of cases were never easy and usually much more complicated than other kinds. The fact that the center of the case was one of Rafael’s best friends only made it that much worse. 

“This isn’t over. I gave him a chance to go free, and he likely won’t take it,” Rafael answered. “He’s been my best friend since we were kids. Mami always told me to stay close to him. I just…I just can’t make myself fully believe any of this.”

Rafael was confused as to how this could’ve happened. He was hurt that his best friend wasn’t who he thought he was. Someone that he was motivated by and looked up to was no better than the thousands of internet perverts that Rafael dealt with almost weekly. He felt guilty for doing this, but he also knew he’d feel guilty if he hadn’t done it. 

Rafael was calm again. It seemed that talking about it and retelling it from the beginning had assisted him in putting it all together. The realization and the acceptance was setting in -- and it didn’t feel good. The room was still. Your voice and Rafael’s voice were both hushed and careful.

“It’s...not the first time that something like this has happened.” You said cautiously. 

“It’s not. It happens more than people think,” He agreed. “Alex was just...I never would’ve...”

“I know,” You replied. “Is there something I can do for you?”

He tilted his head slightly, and he offered a halfway upturn of his lips.

“Yeah. Come here.” He extended his arm to invite you to sit with him.

Your feet carried you the two or three steps that it took to meet him at his chair. It took some maneuvering, but you managed to get settled into his lap comfortably. His arms wrapped around you, keeping your chest pressed against his and your head tucked underneath his chin. He kissed the crown of your head with a hum and yet another sigh. He found immense comfort in having you here, and sympathizing with his situation. 

Maybe he should’ve told you about his cases more often. 

“Maybe we should ditch this city.” Rafael’s chest vibrated against the side of your face as he spoke. 

“Yeah. Sure. And go where exactly?” You snorted with knowing that he was completely kidding. You both had far too much tied up in New York City to just up and leave. 

“Wherever we want. I’ve heard that upstate California is nice.” He said

“It’s also on the opposite side of the country. We’re not made for the West Coast.” You remarked.

“Perhaps not. I think we could adjust with time.” Rafael went on.

“That wouldn’t solve anything. You’d only be running away from it with me as a tagalong.” You proclaimed. 

Rafael chuckled at that. He knew that it wasn’t a serious suggestion. Rafael could never leave New York behind. However, it was nice to dream about it every once in a while. 

“Yeah. I know.” He uttered.

The two of you fell into another silence. There wasn’t much else to be said. What could be said? Rafael had just been backhanded across the face with the cold, harsh truth that his lifelong best friend wasn’t at all who he thought that he was. Someone that he admired and idolized was nothing but a slimy creep. Even as a grown adult, that was hard to take. Everybody had been wrong about Alex, and that was what bothered Rafael the most. 

“I think I’m going to settle down for the night,” You shifted in Rafael’s lap to sit up straight, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “Come to bed when you’re ready.”

Before you tried to get up, Rafael’s hands squeezed your waist as a request not to leave. His eyes sparkled with desire and anticipation when he looked at you.

“Don’t go yet. Please,” He begged. “Just another minute.” 

The pleading in his expression was unmistakable. He didn’t just want you right now -- he needed you. You obliged to his request and you returned to snuggle against the front of his body. Your warmths were radiating off of each other in the most soothing way. If only you could stay like this forever. 

“I love you,” Rafael professed, encouraging you to raise your head so that he could kiss you. “Thanks for always being there for me.”

“Always. I love you.” You returned. 

Rafael was strong. With time and patience, he would be able to move on. He would heal from this and would learn from it. The day would come where it wouldn’t suck this bad. That day wasn’t today, tomorrow, nor the next day. But it was coming. 

You’d take it hour by hour or minute by minute if you had to. His healing was your priority. 

Until then, you’d be by his side.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x fem! reader #rafael barba x female reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x y/n #rafael barba fluff #rafael barba angst #rafael barba oneshot #rafael barba oneshots #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba imagines #rafael barba fanfiction #law and order svu #law and order barba #law and order: svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order: svu fanfiction #detectivesvu

[therapycat21]

Sassy Man

Rafael Barba x OC!Valentina Teller

Series Description:

Valentina Teller is a sketch artist for the NYPD and assists the SVU with cases. Go through this journey with her as she meets the sassy and confident DA for the SVU Rafael Barba.

"Miss Teller could you please explain to the jury what it is you do?" Barba asks from where he stands in front of Val who is seated on the stand. Val takes a small deep breath "my job is to sit with the victims of any crime to help them get a clear image of their attacker for the police." Val explains, Barba nods "and your job is to walk them through what occurred so they can try to identify their attacker?" he asks, Val nods "yes, I guide them through an exercise that allows them to open their mind to their attack" Val explains "could you please explain in better detail on how this exercise works?" Before Val can answer  "objection, why does Miss Teller need to give a step by step on why this exercise supposedly works?" Buchanans loud voice says.

The judge spares him a glance before turning to Val "overruled, Miss Teller please explain the exercise" Val looks at barba, he nods giving her the go ahead to explain "I use an exercise by helping the victim go through the events that occured before their attack which allows their mind to reopen to the trauma that occured in which helps me get a better sketch of their attacker for the police" Val explains looking at Barba again to see the proud smile he gives her while nodding his head.

Buchanan stands up buttoning his blazer giving the young woman what seems to be a condescending smile "miss Teller is it?" Val nods "your job is to basically draw pictures of attackers all day long?" He says condescendingly. Before Val can answer "objection" Barba says from where he sits, giving buchanan a slight glare "I'll rephrase, Miss Teller your job is to speak to victims and try to get a sketch of the attacker correct?" He asks. 

Val nods "yes that is my job" she tells him "okay so whose to say that when you conduct these exercises the victim is just making up their imagination before the supposed attack happened to them" he asks. Barba jumps up and glares "objection!" .

Buchanan givers Val a smirk "withdrawn your honor" he walks and takes his seat again. "okay we will reconvene tomorrow at 9am sharp, dismissed" the judge slams the gavel before leaving the room. Val is met halfway by Barba as she walks away from the stand. "Did I do okay? you think?" she asks him, Barba smiles at her rubbing his hands down both of her arms briefly "you did really good Val" she nods before turning to face Liv as she walks up to the pair "so what happens now?" Val asks the both of them.

Liv sighs "for now, we all go home and rest until tomorrow" she says before smiling at patting Val on the arm "you did amazing up there, thank you for doing this" she tells her before leaving the courtroom. Val lets out a deep sigh before checking her phone,seeing the time "shoot, I gotta go, my babysitter is texting me, apparently she has to hurry and go to some party tonight" Val tells Barba, laughing at the end of her sentence. Barba laughs "lets go, I'll give you a ride home" He tells Val.

Val looks over to him confused "you can drive?" she asks, Barba shakes his head with a slight laugh "no, I have a car service" he tells her, gaining a belly laugh from the girl "oh my god, I am not surprised" she tells him before the pair both walk out of the courtroom into the car and go on their way to Val's apartment.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

The pair pull up to Val's apartment complex. Barba looks over at the woman next to him "wait you live in this complex?"he asks, Val nods "yeah why?"she asks confused "my mami lives her too" he tells her, Val nods "oh what's her name?" she asks curious. "Lucia Barba, she lives in apartment 3c" Val covers her mouth as she starts to giggle and shaking her head in disbelief "no way, your mom is Miss B?" she says, Barba starts to get confused "Miss B?" he questions, Val nods "yeah, she comes over to eat dinner with me and Amelia every thursday night" she tells him. "so that's why she says she's busy every thursday, because of you?" he question.

Val nods, still giggling slightly "yeah, to be fair Amelia loves having her over, I can't believe she is your mom" Val tells him smiling before she opens the car door. Barba does the same earning a confused look before he gestures to the building "I'm gonna stop in on mami and say hi,she already berates me weekly for not doing it" he laughs,Val nods and the pair enter the complex and using the stairs to the third floor.

As they hit the third floor, Val gathers her keys and starts to open the apartment door and peaking over at Barba to see him walking towards his moms. He knocks before turning around and waving Val goodnight. Val enters her apartment to see the babysitter jump from the couch in a hurry seeing the woman walk in the room. "So sorry, but I really gotta go" the college student tells Val, Val nods as she is taking out the money for her, handing it over "here you go, thank you for watching her, where is she?" she asks. The girl nods her head over to the room in the back "in her room, she's sleeping" she says before rushing out of the door without so much as a goodbye.

Val throws her belongings on her couch before walking silently towards the room door that is ajar, she pushes it open fully seeing Amelia cuddled on her bed with her favorite weighted dinosaur plushie. Val smiles at the young girl before reaching over and lightly touching her hair and bending down to kiss her forehead. Val walks back into the living room gathering her stuff and heading into her room to get ready for bed. Val is finally settled in bed after taking a nice shower and changing into comfy clothes before plopping under her covers with another romance book for the night before dosing off, only to wake up and face another day in court.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

Val is abruptly women up from her alarm, groaning after realizing its another day in court but also a little happy knowing she can see Rafael in court again. Val gets up and throws her slippers and comfy sweatshirt on before heading to Amelia's room to see her just waking up, she smiles heading over to the young girl and gently shaking her to awake her "hey lovebug, want some french toast?" she asks gently, the little girl smiles brightly from seeing her mom before nodding eagerly at the thought of the syrupy goodness. The pair walk hand in hand towards the kitchen. Val places Amelia in the high chair and starts making breakfast while also waiting for Miss B aka (Barba's mom) to come over and babysit Val as she works. As Val is plating the food, making an extra for Lucia, there is a knock at the door, Amelia's eyes jump toward her mom asking for permission, Val smiles before nodding her head, laughing as the younger girl races to the door flying it open and jumping into the older woman's arms.

"Ah Mi bebe, oh how are you my love?" Lucia asks, holding the girl tight to her body,hugging each other. Amelia is placed back onto the floor "it was okay, yesterday the babysitter was soooo boring! but I get to see mommy this morning and have french toast and hang with you today!" the little girl says enthusiastically as the older woman stands and smiles in adoration. The pair walk into the kitchen to  Val sipping on coffee and smiling at the pair. Val walks around the counter to greet and hug the older woman "Hi Lucia, thank you for doing this! it really means a lot." she tells the woman. Lucia shakes her head "you don't ever need to thank me for hanging out with my favorite person ever" she smiles at Val and Amelia.

Val smiles before turning towards Amelia "why don't you go pick out your clothes for the day,so I can talk to Ms.B? Okay?" Amelia nods, rushing of into her room leaving the woman at the kitchen counter, Val looks over at Lucia "so, I have some interesting new for you" Val smirks at the woman, Lucia looks at her in interest "oh yeah, what happened now?" she smirks back, Val shakes her head laughing slightly "I had the pleasure of meeting your son, the other day." Val says taking a sip of her coffee. Lucia stands there slightly shocked before coming to realization "I forgot he switched to SVU, I guess it was bound to happen." she shrugs, before they can conversate more Val's phone starts to chime, she sees a message from Liv about needing her asap at the precinct.

Val sighs, downing the rest of her coffee and putting her cup in the sink "well, duty calls Luc, Liv needs me asap apparently " she tells the older woman "go, you know I got this, but if you could, could make sure Rafael eats something other than drinking cups of coffee?" Lucia asks Val. Val laughs before nodding "absolutely, I'm gonna go say bye to Amelia then I'll be outta here okay?".

Val walks towards the back room to say her goodbyes to Amelia before grabbing her belongings and heading out to work for the day.

#rafael barba #rafaelxoc #rafael barba fluff #rafaelbarbaxoc #rafael barba angst

[storiesofsvu]

Bruised Ego

Rafael Barba x fem!reader Fills the “Be Kind” by Halsey & Mashmello square on @thatesqcrush ‘s vday bingo Warnings: Language, angst.

Letting out a weary sigh you poured what was left of the bottle of wine into your glass, your eyes darting to the rack on top of the fridge to ensure there was a back up one there, it had been a long night. Rafael was late, too late, so late in fact that he’d stood you up. You had the restaurant pack up your order and brought it home figuring you may as well at least be at home if you had to eat alone.

When you first got involved with Rafael you knew he was a busy man, that work kept him doing crazy hours, all nighters, and occasionally sleeping in his office. You were okay with that, you were an independent woman, you valued your own time, you also knew the value that your time had and you weren’t about to share it with someone who didn’t deserve it. Lately, Raf had been falling into that category, hell, today? He was number one on the list of that category.

Usually he’d text, or call, unless he was so wrapped up in work he simply hadn’t realized the time and when your name would flash on his phone he would be a world of apologies. He’d also always make it up to you. You’d gotten used to the occasional failed date, you still loved each other, you moved in together, yet, two years later (to the exact date) you were starting to feel like you weren’t even his second choice anymore.

You sunk back a large gulp of wine, trying to reason with yourself, trying to ignore the part of you that was worried something had happened to him, but you knew if that was the case, Olivia would’ve called. Right as you were about to say fuck it and grab a second bottle of wine you heard his keys in the lock, the door shifting open as your eyes darted to the clock.

“Two thirty a.m? That’s a new record.” You greetly coldly. Rafael glanced up in your direction, the small stumble as he dumped his coat confirmed your suspicion of him being drunk.

“Why’re you still up?”

“You can’t be serious.” You sighed, grabbing the fresh bottle of wine to pour yourself a glass. Your movement brought Rafael’s attention to the dress you still had on, how elegantly you were done up and he silently realized he’d missed your anniversary dinner.

“M’sorry.” He mumbled.

“You’ve been saying that so much recently it’s lost its integrity.” You corked the bottle, taking a swig, “where the hell were you?”

“Working late.”

“Really?” You cocked a brow, “‘cause when I called Carmen at seven she said you never came back after court.”

“We lost the case, I felt horrible…this poor girl”-

“You sure it was the vic and not the bruises on your ego that make you go wild? You realize you get annoying as fuck everytime you take a hit, right?”

“It was a tough case, I just needed to vent, calm down for a bit.”

“So you chose to go out drinking with Olivia rather than attend our anniversary dinner? Chose to ignore your phone? I know it’s hard for you, but it’s not fair! You can’t just stay out all night everytime you have a bad day.”

“I’m sorry. Carino I’m so sorry. Oliva just…understands it in a way you don’t.”

“Because you keep me completely shut out Rafael! If you ever bothered talking to me about your work I’d be able to understand.”

“I don’t want you all wrapped up in that world, you know that! I can make it through without dragging you down with me.”

“Is it that? Is it that you don’t think I can handle the gruesome crimes? Or is that you don’t want to let yourself be vulnerable in front of me?” He balked at that and you knew you’d hit the nail on the head, “I already told you that I’m right here.”

“I don’t need you to baby me!” Great, now he was getting defensive, this was headed in a wonderful direction.

“I’m not trying to baby you Rafael! I’m trying to remind you that I don’t need you to be strong enough for the both of us, you’re allowed to have an emotional side! You’re allowed to break down, even to me, especially to me!”

“You’re saying you don’t need me?”

Selective hearing of course, only hearing what he wanted to, what he could pick an argument with, something to focus in on and ignore the actual root of the problem. Like always.

“Well I’ve been doing pretty damn fine without you these past few weeks.” You shot, taking another sip of wine your eyes began to glass over, your voice softer the next time you spoke, “maybe this isn’t even worth fighting for…”

“Are..are you saying you want to end it?” His entire demeanour shrunk, worry etching across his face as he watched you wipe away a stray tear.

“I’m saying that despite the past two years…you refuse to let me in. Some days I feel like I don’t even know you at all.”

“I love you…”

“Yet you chose to bury yourself at the bottom of a bottle of scotch rather than celebrate our anniversary. You activelyignored me today, and that hurts a hundred times more than just being forgotten about. It doesn’t even feel like I have a boyfriend most days, so why even bother?”

“What about Valentine’s Day?” You nearly snorted at that, gulping back more wine.

“You care more about a commercial holiday than our anniversary, why am I not surprised?”

“But..the Gala…” he protested and your jaw went slack as you shook your head at him.

“I can’t fucking believe you. Here you go again about how your work functions are important enough to never forget, that I have to go to only to be ignored once we’re there? You do realize there’s more to a relationship than being arm candy, right?”

“I’m”-

“Save it.” You glared, standing from the island. “Give me five minutes to change, I’ll sleep in the guest room. We can discuss this when you don’t smell like a distillery.” Swiftly moving past him without a second glance you disappeared into the bedroom, returning to the hall a few minutes later only to vanish into the guest room, the door slamming shut hard enough to make Rafael wince.

Truthfully, when your name flashed across his phone earlier that evening he knew exactly what day it was, he knew what time he was supposed to meet you at the restaurant. The first couple of texts he at least read, the friendly happy reminders to not work too late, that you couldn’t wait to celebrate. Little texts that wouldn’t come off as nagging when they slightly were your way of saying ‘don’t fucking forget this’. He’d checked the time, made a mental note, but continued drinking with Liv and Fin. There was a sense of camaraderie, they all worked the same kind of job, saw the same kind of horrors, they understood it on a different level. Sure, he could have tried to open up to you about it, but he didn’t want to, especially on your anniversary. Before he knew it, it was well past your reservation time and he figured he may as well stay out and keep going until you were hopefully passed out at home.

You were right…he had actively ignored you tonight. Not just forgotten.

*

When you awoke the next morning you weren’t surprised to find the apartment empty, at least Rafael had scheduled the coffee to brew a fresh pot around the time you usually got up on your days off. Your phone had no messages, there wasn’t anything scrawled on the pad on the fridge, it seemed he had given up just as much as you had at this point.

You gulped down the coffee, munching on some toast while you thought over what you wanted to do. Although you already knew what you needed to do, you couldn’t stay in something like this, it wasn’t healthy, for either of you. As much as you loved him, you needed someone who actually showed up, who made your time as valuable as theirs was to you. It was with a heavy sigh that you wiped away a tear, turning back to the bedroom to start to pack up the essentials, you could come back later for anything else.

Raf surprised you by coming home halfway through the day, lunch in hand, potentially as an apology. He stalled at the sight of a couple of bags stacked up in the entrance way, hesitantly calling out into the apartment. You cringed at the sound of his voice, wishing you had a few more hours to prep before having to have this conversation, but it was now or never. Padding down the hallway you emerged into the open kitchen/living room, a slightly nervous expression on your face.

“You…made your choice?” Rafael greeted quietly.

“Uh..yeah.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, “I’m sorry Raf, I really am…but I can’t keep doing this.”

“You don’t have to go…stay in the guest room until you figure things out..maybe we can work through this?”

“No…” your voice wavered, “if I don’t go…we’ll just be reliving this a few months down the road, and it’ll be much worse.”

“Are you sure?” His eyes glazed over, voice shaking slightly at the thought of you turning your back on him to never return.

“Yeah.” You sighed, “I love you Raf, I really do, and I know you have the potential to make a very lucky girl incredibly happy one day, but that girl isn’t me.”

“What if I want it to be?”

“Then it’s too late.” You wiped away a tear you weren’t sure where it came from, “I need more than you’re currently willing to give me and I’m done wasting my time waiting for you to be ready.”

“What…what can I do?” Rafael wasn’t sure at this point if he was asking what would make you change your mind, or what he needed to change in order to have a successful relationship in the future. Though, maybe they were both combined, maybe he’d be able to focus on things enough that he could win you back further down the road. You sighed heavily, leaning against the back of the couch.

“You need to be more present Raf. I get that your job is demanding, and that you suck at remembering things not work related, but a partner deserves their time with you to be spent actually with you. You did a decent job at that during the first few months but it started to slip as you got comfortable, when you were finished with the charming stage, that you knew you had me. You need to keep that going.” He nodded at your words, slowly realizing all the times he’d placed other things in front of you on his to do list, he was starting to wonder why you’d put up with him as long as you had. “But I think the most important thing is that you need to be open…”

“I…thought I was..”

“About us, yes.” You countered, “but I mean about you. You lock everything up inside, you shut everyone out of your emotions when you start to feel down or struggling. You need to be able to talk about that, to cry about it, and when you love someone, you should be able to bare your soul to them. Not shove them aside for a bottle of scotch when all they want is to help you.”

“I’m sorry..” he mumbed.

“I know…” you took a deep breath, “you’ll figure it out someday. You’re a brillliant man Rafael, I know you’ll break down that wall, I’m just sorry it couldn’t have been with me.”

“Me too.” Tears glassed his eyes at the confirmation that it truly was over, mirroring the ones in your own as your phone buzzed.

“That’s Kelly…she’s outside.” You glanced up at him, “you know how she is. It’s probably best if you pretend you’re not here.”

“Of course.”

He dropped the takeout on the counter, urging you to take it with you so it wouldn’t be wasted. Then he made the bold move of pulling you into a hug, though you returned it with just as much tightness. As much as all of this was breaking your heart, there was still a part of you that loved Rafael, that hoped he would learn from this and grow into an incredible partner.

You knew that in the long run, it wouldn’t be you that would be able to help him, but someone would. It stung, having to collect your things from the apartment, to start to build a new life for yourself, but at least this way you weren’t sitting alone getting hurt on the regular basis while you pretended everything was okay.

While Rafael Barba being in your life had been a very important part for those two years, as time went on, you knew it wasn’t endgame. He’d helped you grow, and you could only hope that you’d done the same for him. You both deserved it.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #svu #law and order #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba angst #rafael barba one shot

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Holding on For Me ~Rita Calhoun xFem Younger!Partner!GradStudent!Reader (feat. Rafael Barba)

Summary— Rita gets hurt badly and ends in the hospital. Her two closest people, you and Rafael, come running. But you’ve never met each other, and now your partner’s and his best friend’s life hangs in the balance…

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: angst, then fluff, heavily implied physical assault, hospitals, near death experiences, bruising, implied scarring, crying, hyperventilating, implied anxiety attacks, happy fully ending, etc.

Enjoy (;

You rubbed your temples with a sigh as you stared at her dull computer screen and flipped the pages of your extensive notes. You was violently pulled out of your doctoral thesis research by the sound of your cell phone ringing. Eager for a distraction, you swiftly picked up the phone.

“Hi this is is Y/N!”

“Hello Ma’am. I am calling from Mercy Hospital, I have you listed as an emergency contact for one Rita Calhoun?”

Your heart dropped. Rita? What had happened? Was she okay??

“What happened? Is she okay??”

“She was brought in about 30 minutes ago… She’s currently in surgery, pretty banged up. I am just making my rounds and contacting her emergency numbers in case.”

“Ok thank you so much, I’ll be there in 15 minutes” you hastily replied.

As soon as the call had ended, you jumped up from your chair, your heart racing and your mind spiraling. You scurried around her apartment, collecting things that you or Rita might possibly need at the hospital, throwing all the miscellaneous items into a bag before storming out of the apartment. You were swift to hail a cab once out on the city streets, eagerly giving the address of the hospital. Was Rita going to be okay? What if they lose her before you got to the hospital?

The words hospital and surgery made your stomache sink. Your hands felt like they were going numb, and your mind seemed to only be able to come up with the worst possible scenarios on what could have happened to Rita. You bit at her lip anxiously, and you closed her eyes for the rest of the cab drive, too overwhelmed to bear the stimulus of sight at the moment. Did this have to do with Rita’s job? Maybe an ex-client or someone who’d threatened her? What was the last thing she said to Rita…??

As soon as the cab stopped outside of the hospital, you paid the driver and rushed inside the bustling ER doorway. You immediately found a nurse and asked about Rita, who led you to the waiting room for trauma surgery, a separate, more secluded area of the hospital. The nurse had not been able to tell you much, besides the fact that Rita was still in surgery. So you anxiously paced the little waiting room, biting your fingernails and feeling like you wanted to cry. ‘Pretty banged up’, how badly was her partner hurt? Why were you the only one here??

Memories of you and Rita flooded your mind. You remembered when you two first met, it was only a couple years ago, but you had grown so close since. You thought of all the late nights that you two had spent together, laughing and drinking until both of you couldn't keep your eyes open anymore. You remembered how much Rita worked, just how passionate she was about her job. And now in a matter of 15 minutes that could all be ripped away from you? Rita taken from so swiftly, so cruelly?

You approached the nearest nurses station and asked about your partner again. As you were trying to pry any and all information out of this poor young nurse, a man stormed into the waiting area. You had the slightest sense that she knew him from somewhere, but as he was pacing the room furiously, muttering certain choice words in Spanish, you couldn’t quite place it. Then the man came up to the desk where you were standing and spoke. What if these were Rita’s last waking moments…? How could you live with yourself if Rita didn’t make it…?

“Hi. Do you have any information about Rita Calhoun and how she’s doing?” The man asked rushedly.

Now that he was right next to you and after revealing he knew Rita, it clicked for you. This was Rafael, Rita’s best friend from her college years. The two had never formally met, you had seen a picture or two of him in Rita’s apartment (from the many nights that you’d had dinner and stayed over) and you had only heard about Rafael when Rita elected to talk about him. You knew that while they were good friends, there were wounds in their personal pasts, so you never pushed to meet him. Had Rafael and Rita ended on good terms in the last time they talked? Did he know if this was work related…??

“You’re Rafael…” you managed to breathe out.

You were surprised that you had even been able to get out one word with the lump in your throat. Rafael turned from the counter to face you, giving you a quizzical and slightly defensive look. How could this have happened? It had been going all so well, and now with a simple call, life has turned upside down…

“Yes. And you are?”

“Y/N. Rita’s partner.”

Rafael’s brows raised and his eyes glistened with intrigue. He seemed to decide that you were alright, because he sent you a confirming nod, before going back to grilling the nurse for more information. Had Rita been threatened…? Attacked? Taken??

Trying desperately not to cry in front of him or the hospital staff, your knees suddenly began to feel weak. Before you could catch herself, your legs buckled and you collapsed on the cold, hard, hospital floor. Rafael was quick to turn back towards you, giving you his hands to help stabilize your overstimulated state. Your weak form managed to make it to one of the waiting room seats, where Rafael promptly sat next to you. It was then that you noticed how much your entire body was shaking. Rita couldn’t die… No, she couldn't die… It just… She couldn't it…

“I… I didn’t know Rita had a partner.” He stammered aloud, breaking the silence of the two of you sitting in the hospital, both equally nervous wrecks.

You shrugged in response, not having the wherewithal to respond to that at the moment. Silent tears finally began to stream down your face, as you started to let it all out. You curled forward, holding your head in your hands as you sobbed for what felt like hours. How would you ever be happy again? You would never move on. You couldn’t. Rita was your everything… You couldn’t face losing her…

“I don’t know what I’ll… d-do if… If Rita…” you stuttered, not able to finish your statement, as your voice returned to choked sobs.

You felt a soft and gentle touch on your back, making you uncurl and meet Rafael’s own reddened gaze.

“Rita is one of the strongest, hard ass people I know. Ever since school… I have never seen a fighter quite like her. If anyone will make it, it’s her.”

“Thanks” you croaked out.

Awkward silence took the room, the only sound being the hustling and bustling of the hospital. Rafael eventually removed his hand from your back, as it began to feel like he was overstepping. But the second you lost that touch, you seemed to only feel worse.

“Do you know w-what h-happened…? Or w-why…?” You stammered out in a whisper.

Rafael leaned forward, his forearms coming to his knees with a heavy sigh.

“I know that she’s been facing scrutiny and backlash for the last case she took. but besides that I don’t know…” he breathed out.

You pulled your knees up onto your chair, wrapping your hands around your body for some semblance of control and comfort, as you let out a shaky sigh.

“S-so it is work related…?”

“I don’t know, Y/N, I’m sorry… Truthfully, I hadn’t talked to her since she took that case, I was the lead prosecutor and we… we had a bit of a fallout over it…” Rafael gritted out.

His defensiveness seemed to have vanished, all that being left being the vulnerable, close friend of Rita’s. His knuckles were white from how hard he was squeezing his hands.

“Christ the last thing I probably did was yell at her to get out of my office…” he confessed, looking down to the ground with shame and guilt.

“I… I can’t even r-remember what the last thing I said to her was…” you choked out through violent sobs.

Rafael looked up at your wailing and his hand came out, caressing your shoulder lightly. He squeezed your trembling form reassuringly.

“I’m sure you told her how much you loved her…” he softly comforted you.

“I don’t know… I d-don’t know…” you changed in a whisper, starting to rock back and forth anxiously in the seat.

“Hey. Take some deep breaths… She’s going to be okay.”

Your glossy eyes met his reddened ones and you two just connected. All because of Rita. You were so grateful that she had found a friend like Rafael. And Rafael was grateful that she had someone like you to support her as a partner. Suddenly you were both drawn back to the crushing reality by a nurse coming up to you with a file in hand.

Rafael immediately stood and walked right up to her, demanding answers. You couldn’t get yourself to stand, so you merely looked up at the two standing adults with pleading eyes.

“Are you family?”

You both nodded vigorously.

“How is she? What happened?? Can we see her…??” Rafael demanded.

“EMT’s responded to a Good Samaritan call who found her in an alley… The ambulance brought her here to Mercy and she’s been in surgery ever since. It was a little touch and go, she has a concussion, multiple lacerations, a four broken ribs, scattered bruising, and a shattered left forearm…”

Your mouth went dry at the nurses words and you couldn’t think as tears began to stream down your face once more. Your lip trembled as you bit it, attempting to stifle your sobs.

“Can we see here??” Rafael immediately asked.

“Yes you may see her, she’s finally out, and she’s somewhat awake. I’ll take you to her, But take it slow, she has a long road to recovery…” the nurse said.

Rafael let out a sigh of relief and he quickly turned to you. Extending his arm, he helped you up and down the hall towards Rita’s private room. The nurse let you in, closing the door behind the two of you.

Rita looked peaceful for a moment, lying in the bed, but as she began to wake up, pain flooded across her face. Practically all of her exposed skin was bruised and battered, the biggest being her black eye. Her eye widened as much as she could widen them at the sight of you and Rafael.

“Holy fuck…” Rita winced in pain as we tried to sit up.

You immediately rushed next to her, sitting at the edge of the bed. The older brunette leaned back again, giving up the idea of sitting up properly for her moment, instead meekly attempting to reach out to you with her right hand, and you eagerly met her more than half-way, taking her hand and kissing it over and over again as tears of joy steamed down your cheeks.

“Rita Rita… God I’m so glad you’re okay… How are you feeling…?” you whispered, continuing your love and tender assault on her hand.

“Hi baby… I’m… in a whole lot of fucking pain, but I’ll live…” she breathed out in confession.

Rita smiled lightly back. But even that seemed to hurt her, as she winced lightly again. Rafael was standing at the end of the bed with his hands in his pockets as he watched the two of you. His eyes softeners watching your dynamic, he scolded himself for being so goddamn stubborn. Because if he hadn’t been, Rita might have introduced him to you…

“Oh Baby don’t move, stay still. Doctors orders you need to rest. Don’t want you getting more hurt…” you pleaded caringly and with much love.

“She’s a stubborn hardass. Doctor’s orders won’t stop her…” Rafael teasingly cooed, meeting Rita’s gaze.

Rita rolled her eyes at her closest friend.

“Shut up, you idiot… Now come over here and hug me.” Rita shot back with the same teasing tone.

Rafael chuckled, looked down to the ground as he made his way around to the opposing side of the bed, releasing his hands from his pockets, the man leaned over and gave his friend a proper embrace.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I’m so glad you’re alive” Rafael whispered to Rita, before retracting slightly, but staying close and gazing at her caringly.

Rita wanted to cup his cheek and pull him close, tell Rafi that it was all good, but her drugs were at a heavy dosage and soon they began to pull her back into unconsciousness.

“It’s… okay Rafaellll…—” she mumbled before dozing off.

Your gaze then met Rafael’s, coming to an understanding that neither of you would be leaving anytime soon.

~~~

Rita Calhoun Masterlist ~Coming Soon (;

#rita calhoun #Rita Calhoun x reader #Rita Calhoun angst #Rita Calhoun fluff #Rita Calhoun x Rafael Barba #rafael barba #elizabeth marvel #raul esparza #law and order svu #svu #svu25 #l&o svu #svu x reader #SVU angst #svu fic #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order fanfiction #law and order fic #law & order #law & order svu #law & order special victims unit #law and order x reader #law and order fluff #law and order angst #Rafael Barba angst #rafael barba x reader #Rafael Barba fluff #l&o oc

[i-got-ur-nose]

Two Slow Dancers (Last Ones Out)

Rafael Barba x Reader

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol, mentions of a hospital setting, everything is very vague tho lmao

(this is a vent LMFAO)

((sorry not sorry <3))

She could smell the bourbon on his breath when he let her in. Her eyes tracked the way that his jaw clenched and then unclenched— something he did to calm himself down whenever he was on the brink of losing his composure.

This time was different though.

It wasn’t some insolent witness that was just getting on his nerves or a criminal that was too difficult for even him to handle. No. This was different. It was her that was causing him to act like this.

Only she could rile him up in such a way that he was itching to break something. Her and her eyes. Stoic and masked— he loathed to love her eyes.

“You promised that this guy wasn’t going to walk.” she reminded evenly. Rafael scoffed, meeting her gaze with a very specific kind of annoyance.

“Would you like to become the Assistant District Attorney and see for yourself what it is I have to do everyday?” The venom in his voice was clear as day.

“You promised—”

“I know what I promised.” He hissed, bristling anger she had already been trying to stuff down.

“If you would just—”

“Why so you can make me feel worse about myself?” Her mouth dropped open, face radiating nothing but heat.

“You promised—”

“Sometimes promises can’t be kept!” He shouted, cutting her off. The volume of his voice had grown to something that she had never heard before. Her eyes drifted from his screwed shut ones and down to his hands. The tremors were visible from where she sat.

Without saying a single word, she stood up from the leather chair he kept in the corner of his office and glided to the space right in front of his desk.

Right in front of him.

He still had his head down, his shoulders so tense that she was sure he was going to turn to stone. A knot formed in the middle of her chest, threatening to choke her from the inside out. She opened her mouth to speak but he beat her to it.

“You,” He said roughly before taking a deep breath a meeting her eyes. The watery green almost knocking the wind out of her. “You are the single most important thing to me in the world.” His breathing was coming out harder than before. “Nothing else.” He waved a hand in front of his body, the other still holding him up over his desk.

“I-”

“Please let me finish.” He cuts her off again. She swallows thickly, but nonetheless nods for him to continue.

“I messed up. I got too close— too personal.” He admits. “When I saw him, all I saw was you in th-the hospital and I…” He breaks himself away from the train of thought forcefully.

“I fucked it and I’ll never be able to forgive myself for it. But I swear to God, hermosa…” the nickname springs tears to her eyes. “The second the chance is mine, I’ll take it. He’ll never see the light of day again.”

She nods, trying to blink back the tears.

“Can I go now?” She tries to quirk a half-assed smile. Rafael huffs a dry laugh but nods.

“You promised me that he wouldn’t walk.” She started off and Raf looked like he had just been kicked in the gut. “But that means nothing if you aren’t by my side.” She was glad that she was able to get that out before the tears that she had tried so hard to keep down fought their way down her face.

Rafael crossed to her in two strides, crushing her in a hug that could have fed her for a thousand years. One of his hands cradled her neck so carefully into his shoulder, while the other was wrapped firmly around her waist.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He whispered into her ear, softly kissing her temple over and over again. “I’m so sorry.”

She held his face in between her hands and smiled sadly, but not a single ounce not loving.

“Never be sorry for being my hero.”

A single tear made its way from Rafael’s eye and down his cheek. She brushed it away, kissing the skin that it had touched. They were going to be okay.

#law and order special victims unit #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #x reader #svu fanfiction #angst #raul esparza

[the-wandering-wonder]

No Further Questions

Just a fun, angsty oneshot I threw together due to my current Raul Esparza obsession. Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 1,211

Rating: T (angst, swearing)

Chapter: 1/1

Summary: You get called as a witness for the defense, and Rafael has to cross-examine you. And we all know how ruthless he can be, even to the SVU detectives. Hurt feelings and anger come out, and you don't quite know how to handle it.

“No further questions.”

Rafael Barba’s words echo in your ears as you step out of the witness box. You can’t bring yourself to look at him as you walk past the table, anger and humiliation flooding through you. You walk out of the courtroom, Carisi right on your heels. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Carisi calls, trying to keep up with your brisk pace. “That was rough…”

“You're telling me.” 

“I mean, I get that he had to do his job, but damn.”

You stop before reaching the elevator, Carisi nearly stumbling into you. You turn, pinching the bridge of your nose as you let out a sigh.

“I-” You shake your head. “Look, I’m just gonna get back to the station. I’ve got paperwork to finish.”

Carisi looks like he wants to say something, but just gives you a sad nod instead, watching as you get in the elevator. As the doors shut and you’re left alone, you feel your lungs tighten and you take in gulps of air that burn your chest. Your eyes begin to burn and you feel tears threatening to fall.

“Dammit!” You slam your fist against the elevator wall. You’d never cried in the courthouse before and you were not about to start now.

~~~~~~~~

You knock back the shot of whiskey, feeling the burn in your throat and grateful to feel something besides the aching knot in your stomach. You’d left the squad at their table, preferring solitude at the bar. You fight back a tremble as you push your glass towards the edge of the bar.

“Another for the lady.”

Barba’s annoyingly smooth voice floats over the noise of the bar and you turn to see the A.D.A. sliding into the chair next to you. You feel your heart racing as memories of the day flood through you. The green of his eyes are almost swallowed in the dim light of the bar and you can’t help but remember the fire that had been in them as he ripped you apart on the witness stand. Or had that been hurt…?

“Look, about today-”

“Today?” You interrupt Barba, turning to glare at him. “Today fucking sucked.”

“Listen-”

“I’ve got nothing more to say, counselor.”

You spit out the title, taking notice of the pinched look in his eyes at your vitriol. You’d begun to trust Barba, but maybe that had been a mistake. You zip up your jacket, shoving your hands in your pockets as you push away from the bar. Swinging by the table, you give the squad a nod.

“I’m gonna call it a night,” you say quickly. “I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Barba turns to watch you stride out of the bar. Tossing back his drink, he moves to follow you, stopping when Carisi moves to block him.

“Hey, man,” he says, his hand resting on Barba's chest. “I don't think you-”

He glances over Barba's shoulder, letting his words die as he sees Olivia shake her head softly. He steps aside, letting Barba follow you out into the brisk city air.

“Detective, wait!” He calls, frowning as he watches you walking away.

You ignore him as you continue down the sidewalk, and you hear the scrape of shoes on pavement as he follows behind. You stop short as he calls you by name, his voice cracking. You stop, pausing for just a moment before turning to face Barba.

“I’m sorry about today,” he says briskly, placing his hand on your arm.

You jerk your arm away, not missing the hurt that flashes across Barba's face as his jaw tenses. You sigh, feeling your chest tighten as the corners of your eyes begin to burn. You open and close your mouth, unable to form words that won’t end with you crying in front of him.

“You have to know that I didn’t enjoy that,” he continues, “it’s just…it’s my job.”

“I know what your job is,” you reply. Your voice begins to shake and each swallow feels like broken glass lodging in your throat. You let out a shaky sigh before continuing, “and I know why you did it. But it fucking hurt me. It blindsided me.”

“If I could have given you a heads up, I would have.” Barba lowers his head. “But I couldn’t risk accusations of tampering.”

“I know,” you nod your head slightly. “I’m just gonna go home, watch the game, and try to pretend today never happened. Good night, counselor.”

~~~~~~~~

You nurse your glass of wine, wrapped in your blanket as you watch the highlights from the game. Your team won, but you don’t feel your usual joy, instead sinking into the comforting embrace of numbness. You’re contemplating a second glass when there’s a soft knock at the door. You groan slightly as you disentangle yourself from the fabric and shuffle to the door.

You glance through the peephole, feeling a pang of surprise and irritation as you see Barba standing at your door, an almost shameful look on his face and a pizza box in his hand. You open the door, leaning against the doorframe as you look at him. He shifts his weight from one foot to another as he holds the pizza out towards you.

“I-uh, well, I know you like pizza when you watch a game,” he offers, his eyebrows knit as he searches your face for any sign of reaction.

“Game finished 30 minutes ago.”

Barba’s face falls at your words and despite wanting to hurt him earlier, it makes your heart ache slightly. You feel your anger and resolve slowly crumbling as you take in the man standing at your doorstep. He's in his usual fancy suit with a rich, brown overcoat, but his usual cocksure expression is long gone, replaced with a placating gaze and frown etched into his features. 

“I was about to put on a movie,” you continue, pushing off the door frame and walking back inside. “Wine or whiskey?”

“Whatever you have open,” Barba says quietly, taking a tentative step into your apartment.

“Wine it is, then.”

You grab a second glass, nodding at the door as you pour. He takes your meaning and closes it behind him, setting the pizza box on the counter once he reaches the kitchen. He sheds both overcoat and suit jacket, laying them on an empty chair. You hand him the glass and walk back over to the couch, settling into the comfort of the cushions and blanket. Barba stands by the counter, his gaze shifting from you to his glass and back again before he approaches the couch. Your name tumbles out of his lips with a sigh, his gaze filled with a plea for forgiveness.

Glancing up at Barba, you lift the blanket, scooting over to make room for the A.D.A. His eyes widen slightly and you see his posture soften ever-so-slightly before he lowers onto the couch, tentatively settling beside you.

“Today sucked, Raf.”

“I know.”

His arm slides around your shoulder and you instinctively curl into his side, his warmth radiating through your body as you feel his body sighing in relief, relaxing against you.

“It still hurts.”

Barba presses a gentle kiss against the top of your head before resting his chin there.

“I know…”

#rafael barba #reader insert #barba x reader #raul esparza #dominick carisi #olivia benson #slight angst #barba is an ass #but not really #he feels bad #your feelings are hurt #but happy endings abound

[narcissuslecter]

hey babes, it's me, your fave internet menace, will graham smokes truther, writer who has been writing again but very slowly!

i've been crazy busy with work and life but i have also been watching sooo much svu and i started watching house so like... house/hilson fics soon??

anyways, on the writing side of things, i've been writing like a beast but im also self critical as ever so it's a fight! but baby we got as needed chapter 3 coming up soon, some angsty carisi for all u svu babes.

for u hannigram babes we got fics for u too, bunch of songfics bc unfortunately, it's what i do best. lots of music, lots of messy power dynamics, lots of smut <3

and don't think i forgot about u criminal minds babes, there is some stuff in the workssss.

all that rambling aside, send me headcanon reqs, send me asks!

be gay, see u next time <3

#will graham #hannibal lecter #hannibal #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #hannigram #hannibal fandom #fanfic #fanfiction #hannibal fanfic #hannibal fanfiction #law & order: special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order #law & order special victims unit #law and order special victims unit #rafael barba #sonny carisi #dominick carisi #barisi #barisi angst #barisi angst fic #barisi fic #headcanon requests #headcanon #will graham smokes #smoker!will graham #headcanons #will graham smokes truther #fanfic writer

[poetoflawed]

Ok im watching law and order SVU and like I need someone to write a Fic about Barba with the permis of the movie family man. Idk it’s just a storyline I think would work so well with him.

#angst #found family #law and order svu #rafael barba #law and order special victims unit #rafael barba x reader

[callixton]

sorry that the only things i have to write for barba are like five hundred stories abt consent issues and him telling people he’s kinky. unfortunately he’s on Complex Consent Issues: The Show they just hate to acknowledge that

#i don’t know it’s just that it interests me and there are also always five hundred ways to tell the same story #i might make a collection off of fear of the touch w similar themes tbqh #like. i very very much do have other thoughts abt him #just not in the way i can write a plot abt….. #it’s that or the brutal torture but one i’m already doing that and two that’s just like. a default for characters i like he’s not special #also i basically can’t write fluff & def not without some angst #ted talks #rafael barba #svu #idk if this genre of post needs tagged but lemme know

[gi-maeve-rose]

Olivia felt like the air was vacuumed from her lungs. Every muscle in her body went stiff. “Who is this?” she demanded.

The man on the line laughed. “Oh, shit! Is that Detective Benson?” He spoke like they were old friends, adding to their infuriation. “Wait, no. Lieutenant Benson. That’s right, it’s been a while since we last spoke. You really climbed those ranks, didn’t you?”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Monday, October 31st, 7:15PM

Valeria was fifteen minutes early. She thought the traffic would be worse getting back. Would showing up at his door now make her look too eager? Should she wait at her apartment and be fifteen minutes late, or would that make her seem disregarding? If she was on time, it might make it seem like she was too coordinated for this.

At the end of it, she decided she was overthinking it, as she usually did, and went into her apartment to try to mask the stress of the day before heading to Rafael’s. And if Isabella was back home, give her a piece of her mind. But she wasn’t, and that gave Valeria the chance to put on her best cool demeanor while she changed into cleaner, more casual clothes. This was her first real date in over a decade. Rationality said there would be no date if Rafael didn’t already see something in her, but realism reminded her that he didn’t see it all. He saw what Valeria showed him, what she deemed safe to be seen. And it wasn’t much…

Valeria finished off her refresh with dry shampoo, her leather jacket in place of her blazer and jeans in place of slacks. She wasn’t a fan of the “professional” attire rule Liv had in place, but she also wasn’t in a place to question it or fight it. It really wasn’t a huge deal at the end of the day. What was a huge deal, was this first date. She’d almost forgotten it was her birthday until she walked into Rafael’s apartment and smelled the fresh meal he’d prepared.

Rafael poked his head from the kitchen, his smile the brightest thing in the room when he saw Valeria setting her bag next to the door. “Well, shit. You actually came,” he teased.

“Okay, well, if you’re gonna be an ass right off the bat, I can just go and have dinner with Liv and Noah.” She picked up her bag again.

Rafael laughed, setting the food to warm as he went to greet Val at the door with a glass of wine. “Put the bag down, and leave your attitude with it.” He placed a glass in one hand and took the purse from the other. “Leonetti Merlot, 2015.”

She hummed, taking a quick sniff before a sip. “Sounds expensive.”

He raised a brow. “And if it was?”

“I’d complain. A lot.”

“So, what I’m hearing is, never let you find gift receipts,” he summarized. “Thanks for the heads up.” Rafael chuckled as she rolled her eyes and brushed past him, watching her walk toward the kitchen. She moved more gracefully when she wasn’t drunk. Straighter, stronger. It formed a familiar knot in his lower belly. One that he had to actively remind himself to ignore, to not act upon. At least for now. “Arroz con gandules y lechón,” he explained the smell, following her into the kitchen. “Pasteles are still heating up in the pot.”

Valeria’s eyes widened as she looked back at him, her chest feeling warm as the swarm of butterflies got feistier in her belly. “You actually took the time to make pasteles?” That expectation wasn’t even close to being on her mind. At least not this soon into their… whatever they were doing.

Rafael walked past her with a guilty expression, grabbing the wine to top off her already almost empty glass. “For the sake of keeping you impressed and not tarnishing my reputation as an overachiever, we’ll say yes.” Store bought, but still quality made, in his opinion. He would have made them himself if he had the time, but he truthfully hadn’t expected her to accept his invitation to dinner, let alone agree to a relationship with him. He seemed confident on the outside, but honestly? He was freaking out just as much as she was. All of this was almost brand new, and he didn’t want to ruin it.

Valeria chuckled. “Trust me, your effort at all is impressive enough,” she assured, leaning back against the counter. Her stance changed, shoulders shrugging up as if she was trying to hide. She was timid, glancing down into the glass. “You really want to give this a shot, huh?” God fuck— Why did she ask? Why couldn’t she just let it be? Was it really that unbelievable that she could have something good?

It honestly almost broke Rafael’s heart that she had such a hard time accepting that she was worth the effort, but he understood how that doubt came to be. “I do,” he confirmed. “I don’t have a clue what I’m doing, but I’m willing to figure it out as I go, if you’re willing to be patient with me.”

Her smile grew gently. “I’m raising a teenager,” she reminded jokingly. “My patience isn’t a problem, it’s my sanity.”

“I’m guessing Isa finally got back to you?” He sipped his wine before setting it down to tend to the food being prepared.

“Nope, but we traced her phone. She’s at her crush’s house.” She fully expected the concerned looked Rafael gave her, sharing the same sentiment. “I know, but I also know Isa. She’s not gonna do anything stupid. Er… Well… Not anything stupider than what she’s already done.”

“As long as you’re sure,” Rafael encouraged, pulling open a cabinet for plates.

Valeria watched as he plated and served their dinner. How the fabric of his polo moved with his muscles, fitted to his contours. His grip tightening on the plate as it started to weigh heavier when more food filled it. And when he walked to the table… Lord, save Val from these sinful thoughts. Or don’t. “Fucking wild,” she thought out loud, biting her lip.

He glanced back, setting the plates down. “What is?”

“Hm?”

He noticed her eyes cast up to his from his hip region, grinning slowly. “You said ‘fucking wild’. What’s fucking wild?”

She shook her head, sipping her wine. “How when we first met, I wanted nothing more than to beat your ass,” she indulged, grabbing his glass and bringing it to the table. “You were just… so fucking arrogant and snide, walking around like you owned shit just because you’re good in the courtroom.”

“You know, when you talk like that, I get the feeling you still hate me,” he chuckled. Although, it was a very real concern he had, but tried to bury.

“I never hated you,” she admitted. “You just frustrated me. Still do, but for different reasons.”

Curious. “And what are those reasons?”

Valeria finished her second glass, setting it empty on the table before turning toward Rafael. One hand propped against the table while the other rest on her hip. “You’re still arrogant and a pain in my ass,” she said, though voice held a… certain undertone. Her eyes wandered over the features of his face. The hints of silver in his hair and beard, the tired lines from years of fighting in court. Seasoned, but refined. She inhaled a subtly shaky breath in an attempt to settle herself, her hand lifting from the table to straighten the collar of his polo. “But now it adds to your charm. I don’t want to fight you as much as I would rather…” A pause. Valeria bit her lip with a sultry grin. “Something else that starts with an ‘f’.” A quick little tug at his collar undid the loose top button. She left him with that, grabbing her glass as she went back to the kitchen to refill it.

Jesus fucking Christ. Valeria made it harder and harder for him to keep his hands to himself. No matter how much he tried to tell himself to keep it together, his body did the opposite, following her into the kitchen. He stood directly behind her, smirking when her breath hitched at his hands on her hips. “Are you trying to seduce me, Detective?” he asked quietly, lips brushing against her ear.

Valeria tried to keep her composure, but her hair standing on end gave her away. “Depends.” She leaned back against his chest, turning her face slightly toward his. “Is it working?”

She gasped in surprise when he squeezed her hips and turned her, backing her against the counter. The involuntary moan as he pressed his hips against hers deepened a blush on her cheeks. “You tell me,” he breathed, eyes staring hungrily into hers.

Restraint broken, Rafael gave into temptation, claiming Valeria’s lips with his own. Hardly a risk when she so eagerly returned the kiss, her arms wrapping around his neck, hands pushing through his hair. It was the same intensity as the first time, but they forced themselves to take their time, savor the feeling of each other under their hands, explore each other’s bodies, taste each other. No touch was a bad one, lighting every nerve on fire.

Dinner was long forgotten. The only thing on their mind was lust as they stumbled out of the kitchen and into the living room. “You know, I have a rule about not putting out of the first date,” Rafael teased through kisses, pushing Valeria’s leather jacket off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.

Valeria chuckled, pulling the bottom of his shirt from the waistband of his slacks. “Well , excuse me, Princess,” she teased back, kicking off her shoes. “Should I stop?” The backs of her knees hit the arm of the couch and she let out a soft yelp as she toppled onto her back. She stared up at him, warmth pooling in her lower belly and between her legs in response to how he looked at her.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Rafael pounced, laying himself atop Valeria, his hips settled between her legs. He was desperate for friction, grinding the strain in his pants against her, drawing a vulgar moan from deep in his chest as their kisses grew pornographic. This was not in the plan for tonight, but there was no way either of them would stop.

But perhaps they spoke too soon. Valeria’s phone started to ring in her purse, eliciting an irritated groan from her. “Déjalo,” Rafael begged, his lips trailing down her neck.

“No puedo,” she panted, despite her wanting to. His hands tearing off her clothes and his mouth on her skin begged her not to stop. “¿Y si es Olivia?”

“Puedes llamarla más tarde. Puedes culparme.” As enticement, he slipped his hand down the front of her panties, coating his middle and ring finger in her wet before pushing them inside her. “Por favor.”

His fingers inside her and his breathless pleading were electric, ripping a gasping moan from her chest. She drowned out her phone ringing long before it stopped, mind stolen into the moment. “Fuck, Rafa,” she whined, hands gripping tight on his shirt and in his hair. The lower he kissed down her body, the heavier her breaths came. She couldn’t help but watch.

Rafael wasn’t lying when he said this wasn’t something he would do on the first date, but he couldn’t help himself this time around. Every snippy remark Valeria made, every glare she cast toward him, the way she carried herself. The longer it went on since May, the more he wanted her. And the more he wanted her, the more he thought had to push it down. Until that past Friday, at least. He really couldn’t stop thinking about her body on his, her tongue in his mouth. He felt guilty, perverted when he imagined how that night would’ve gone if he hadn’t told her to stop. Even more so when he pleasures himself more than once at the thought.

But he intended to make a dream come true now, his hand leaving her core despite her protesting whines and removing the fabric that covered her. He tossed them onto the floor with her jeans and her shirt, marveling at her statuesque body laid open beneath him. “You’re so beautiful,” he praised, his hands gliding gently over her silky legs. He pushed her knees closer to her chest as he leaned down, laying soft kisses to her thighs, alternating as he dipped lower and lower, closer and closer.

Valeria’s head fell back, eyes shut as she reveled in the expert way his tongue danced over her clit. Sexual partners were far and few between, and when they did happen, it was admittedly nothing memorable. She never experienced what it was like to be pleased like this. They never really cared, but even if they had, she was positive nothing would compare to Rafael. Her hips rolled, begging for more, to which Rafael happily obliged by wrapping his lips around her clit. Valeria’s back arched, her moans louder, surely heard by neighbors through the walls.

Music to his ears. She was so much sweeter than he imagined, so much better. He shifted on his knees to adjust the hardness in the front of his pants. His cock twitched and throbbed, begging to be freed from its confines, pleading for pleasure. If only he cared about his own as much as he cared about hers. Or perhaps it was his name falling from her lips with breathless moans that did it for him, that could easily get him off. He released one of her thighs, slipping his fingers into her again to work in tandem.

The knotting core in her belly burned white hot. “Just like that, baby,” Valeria panted. “Fuck, don’t stop. I’m right there. I—“ Her orgasm cut her words short. She clawed at the couch for dear life as she toppled over the edge, shouting Rafael’s name in euphoric bliss.

It took pure willpower and a half to keep himself from cumming, but holy fuck, was it difficult. Her lust flooded, dripping down his chin and hand as he kept working his fingers, helping her ride out her orgasm. Her legs relaxed, Rafael carefully laying them down as he pressed kisses to her hips. “Good girl,” her purred against her skin, grinning as she twitched from each kiss, every nerve in her body ultra sensitive. “Should’ve figured you’d be a screamer.”

Valeria chuckled between heavy breaths, eyes glazed over with lust as she looked down at him. “Get your clothes off and I’ll show you just how loud I can be,” she challenged, pressing the top of her foot against his cock, strained in his slacked.

She didn’t have to tell him twice. He groaned sharply, his hips involuntary grinding down to add more friction as he sat back on his knees, pulling his shirt off in one fluid motion. “Yes, ma’am,” he rumbled.

•••••••••••••••

8:00PM

Fin had forgotten his phone at his desk, grumbling to himself in irritation as he was now forced to get dressed again to go back to grab it. Phoebe was sure to tease the almighty shit out of him when he got back. He passed by Olivia’s office, attention grabbed when he noticed the lights on. He peeked in to find her at her desk. “Hey,” he greeted in surprise. “What are you doing here?”

Olivia looked up from her computer with a grateful sigh, taking off her glasses. “Dodds needed me to double check that Joshua Fletcher case,” she explained. “Said something about it felt off.” She gave a tired laugh at Fin’s offense. “I assured him you did everything right, but he insisted, so I’m just trying to give him a piece of mind.” But it could wait for now. She had her boy at home and she didn’t want to keep Lucy any longer than she needed to. “What about you? I figured you would’ve been in for the night.”

“I was until Phoebe pointed out that I left my phone,” he retorted, a little embarrassed.

Olivia laughed, standing from her desk to follow Fin out to his. “Fin, if you need a day, all you have to do is say so,” she assured. “You’ve been working your ass off, you deserve it.”

He waved a hand as he grabbed his phone. “Nah, I’m alright. You know me, I get antsy if I’m not doing something.” The phone buzzed in his hand, dropping his jaw just slightly when he read the caller ID. “Well, well, well.” He showed Olivia, who shared the same expression when she read the name. Isabella. Fin shook his head. “She’s got another thing coming if she thinks I’m not telling Val.” He and Olivia scoffed before he answered on speaker, Fin mentally praising God that he didn’t have any teen girls to deal with. “Girl, do you have any idea how bad your sister freaked out about you? First you skip your classes, then you don’t return anyone’s calls? Val’s gonna be pissed. You got a death wish or something?”

“Funny you should say that, Detective Tutuola.” The voice that responded was too deep to be Isabella’s. Too old. Too masculine. It wasn’t entirely familiar, but something about it pierced hard, making the detective’s and lieutenant’s blood run cold.

Olivia felt like the air was vacuumed from her lungs. Every muscle in her body went stiff. “Who is this?” she demanded.

The man on the line laughed. “Oh, shit! Is that Detective Benson?” He spoke like they were old friends, adding to their infuriation. “Wait, no. Lieutenant Benson. That’s right, it’s been a while since we last spoke. You really climbed those ranks, didn’t you?”

She in no mood for games, grabbing Fin’s hand that held the phone. “Answer me,” she demanded. “Who is this?”

He sighed. “I guess I wouldn’t be very memorable to you, huh? Val doesn’t really talk about me, does she? Not that I blame her. We had a… rocky relationship. I tried calling her so we could talk it out, but no answer.”

Connor Davis. If hell was real… Every horrible thought ran through Olivia and Fin’s minds. Isabella’s behavior started to make sense. It didn’t seem like her because it wasn’t her. Davis had her, and it was sickening to think of what could’ve happened to her in the last eight hours. “Where’s Isabella, Connor? Let me talk to her,” Olivia pleaded.

“No.” Venom laced his voice. He had nothing to hide anymore. Thanks to Valeria, the world knew what monstrous things he was capable of. If it was a monster they saw, a monster they’d get. “I have a message for my ex, and you’re going to make sure she gets it.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N: First and foremost, I want to apologize for this chapter being two days late. I have a day job as a hairstylist, and with Thanksgiving being right around the corner, work has slowly been getting busier. On top of that, my creative writing has been lacking. It took me three days since posting Chapter 6 to even start writing Chapter 7, and even when I started, the creative thoughts just weren’t there. But I managed to finish it, and while I worry it’s not up to par with the first half dozen chapters, I hope you all enjoy it anyway.

All this being said, I will be taking a holiday break from writing. I absolutely intend to continue and finish Marked, but for now, I owe it to you all and myself to give you the best writing I have, which means I need to let my mind rest a bit and rejuvenate. The estimated time of my return can be expected on either January 6th, 2023 or January 13th, 2023. Until then, I actually wanna know your thoughts on what I have so far and what you think will happen! In comments, asks, DMs, however you want to make your predictions! This break would also give me a chance to interact with you all like I have really been wanting to.

Until the new year, my friends!

♥️ Georgie

#l&o: marked #fluff #fanfic #oc #smut #angst #amanda rollins #donald cragen #john munch #law and order svu #SVU #special victims unit #olivia benson #odafin tutuola #rafael barba x oc #rafael barba #elliot stabler #sonny carisi #nypd #16th precinct

[therapycat21]

Cocky Man Pt.2

Rafael Barba x OC!Valentina Teller

Series Description:

Valentina Teller is a sketch artist for the NYPD and assists the SVU with cases. Go through this journey with her as she meets the sassy and confident DA for the SVU Rafael Barba.

"UGH!" Val exclaims loudly before launching her eraser towards the corner of her office and taking an aggressive sip of her iced coffee before her doors abruptly open "The sketch you drew, the man has a deep scar, deep enough from a knife?" an anxious Barba says speeding into the room without much of an introduction, leaving Val blindsided. 

Mouth agape from his small rant she realizes he's still waiting for a response based on his arms crossing and a raised eyebrow. Val shakes her head clearly "Um yeah, she said it had to of been a knife cause of how deep it was and he also the one near his eyebrow" she finally says placing her coffee down on her strawberry coaster.

He nods, his head down in thought before releasing a deep sigh and slumping in one of her comfy chairs that sit in front of her desk. Val raises an eyebrow,curious about the visit from the DA, Val looks at Barba before clearing her throat 

"no offense counselor but why did you come all the way up here if you could have just asked Liv?" she asks giving an almost awkward smile. Barba smirks "well maybe I just wanted to meet you a little better this time around" he says with a cocky smile.

Val blushes under his stare before she breaks the tension by offering him some of her nutter butters she was snacking on "would you like a nutter butter?" she asks pushing the opened package closer to him

he chuckles at the awkward and flustered woman before nodding and reaching forward to snack on the cookie. Val and Barba sat for an hour snacking on the cookies and talking mindlessly about any and everything.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"your telling me that you've never had an iced coffee before?" Val asks shocked at the man in front of her. He shakes his head laughing slightly "nope,never and I never plan to either" Val throws her hands against her forehead "that is gonna change one day, I promise you that" Val says determined to get him to try it. The pair are interrupted by val's office phone ringing.

she holds a finger up before answering, Barba stares in interest before she finally places the phone back down. "that was Liv, they need us both upstairs" she tells him, val watches as the man sighs in exhaust before standing and grabbing the jacket he had shed earlier and his briefcase, Barba stands by the door as Val gathers her belongings and the pair head to the elevator to go downstairs to meet Liv and the rest of the team.

As the elevator doors open and they walk into the the center of the detectives desks, the team all give the pair odd looks while rollins gives val a little smirk. Barba gives the team a sigh in clear exhaustion "okay, what do you need or what do you have?" barba says annoyed. 

Val peeks out the corner of her eye at him with a small smile, gaining a small smirk in return that the squad did not miss. Liv office door opens and she walks out putting her phone away "that was Cassandra walls mother, and she said Cassandra is officially recanting everything she has said about her attacker and does not want to testify in court" Liv stops right in front of Barba and Val. 

Barba huffs in response while val stands confused "I'm confused, why am I here for this?" she asks Liv. Liv sighs "you're here because even though Cassandra isn't testifying you were able to get a clear sketch and you can show the jury that was she told you in great detail is true, maybe this can show the jury that Cassandra is telling the truth and maybe she is being pressured to recant because she may know her attacker personally" Val nods in agreement as Barba stares at Liv 

"you think she knows them personally? how so?" he asks as Liv go to stand by the bulletin board "we did some digging and found a family member of hers that fits her description she gave Val almost exactly, and now all of a sudden her mom is telling us she can't testify anymore, maybe it's because he is family to them" Liv finishes.

Barba nods while thinking "get me a little more about how he is related and try to bring Cassandra in for questioning, in the meantime" He turns towards val "you're coming with me, I need to prep you for the stand and whoever this guys attorney is" he doesn't wait for a response before almost speed walking towards the elevator. 

Val stands in shock from pretty much all of that conversation before turning towards the squad "pre p me? I'm gonna testify?" val asks, rollins nods before smirking "eh don't worry, I think Barba will prep you juu--st right" she laughs before turning back to her computer leaving a flustered Val.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"Ms. Teller, what occurred with you and Cassandra Wall at your meeting to help her sketch out her attacker?" Barba asks standing at the table in front of Val where she sits on the stand in the empty courtroom. Val clears her throat "umm, Miss Wall could barely remember anything about her attacker besides a scar he had near his mouth and eyebrow" Val says, her voice shaking slightly.

 Barba looks up from his file in question "are you nervous?" he asks bluntly and slapping his folder shut and tossing it on the table. Val tries to avoid eye contact from the intimidating man before finally making contact and nodding slightly "very much so, I've never had to do this before" Val tells him gaining an understanding nod from him.

Barba walks up to the stand, placing his hands on the edge "it's okay to be nervous, but If we want to get Cassandra to tell the truth to the jury, your voice cannot shake,I know it's gonna be hard but if you get too nervous just look at me " he tells Val assuringly. Val nods her head with a small smile before her phone rings, breaking the pairs staring contest.

Val hurryingly reaches for her phone seeing a call from her daughters school, Val answers hearing Amelia's teacher calling because she quickly got sick and needed to be taken home "okay, thank you so much Carla!" 

Val tells the person over the phone before hanging up and looking up at a confused Barba "sorry, um that was my daughters school, I gotta go get her, she got sick" she tells him. 

Barba nods in understanding "how old is she?"he asks watching Val gathering her stuff "oh she's four about to be five soon" Barba nods with a smile. Val looks up after grabbing all of her stuff "thank you for prepping me, Just let me know when you guys need me for court" she tells him gaining a nod from him 

"I'll call you when I get the details, see you later" he says, Val smiles "thank you, see you later" Val opens and leaves the courtroom, Leaving a slightly flustered and emotionally confused Barba.

Authors Note: 

Please leave a like and a comment!!

#rafael barba #rafaelxoc #rauleesparza #rafael barba fluff #rafael barba angst

[onefail-at-atime]

I feel like the entire Barson fandom is holding their breath until the finale this week.

#barson #rafael barba #olivia benson #olivia benson x rafael barba #olivia benson & rafael barba #benson x barba #law and order svu #benson & barson #angst

[tinyboxxtink]

I really hate putting this out there especially when I've been gone so long, but things have been so difficult lately health wise and money wise. I recently went into the hospital with blood clots on my lungs caused by my birth control. SERIOUSLY. I knew there was like a 1% chance of it happening but you never think it will be you.

Anyway due to that I'll be in the hospital for a few days/weeks (god I hope NOT, probably days.) And I have had to take off work in the meantime for about two weeks now because of my declining health. And I get paid hourly so no PTO or sick days. Annnnddd now I got hospital bills.... fuck why did that just dawn on me?

If you know me, and my writing, if you could help me out by just giving a dollar, it would be much appreciated. You can even send me a request and I'll fulfill it, I'll have nothing but time now to write.

Thank you guys in advance, I love you all so much!

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things 4 #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson fanfic #rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #raul esparza #Joseph Quinn

[theconstellationprincess]

Small Secrets

Fandom: Law and Order: SVU Characters: Barba & Rita (not slash) Summary: Rafael Barba is an age regressor, Rita Calhoun has known since Harvard. How? This is that story.

Rita muttered curses under her breath as she fumbled with her keys. She wasn’t drunk, but she was certainly less coordinated than useful. She grinned triumphantly as she managed to slot the key into the spot and turned the doorknob, stepping into the apartment she and Rafael shared. The light in the entryway wasn’t on, and she squinted as she locked the door behind her.

“Barba! I brought wine,” She called into the hallway, frowning when she received no response. It wasn’t late enough for him to have gone to bed, but he would have told her if he was going out. She shrugged off her coat and took off her shoes, feeling a bit anxious. As she walked further into their apartment, she noticed the light in the kitchen was on, and she could hear noises coming from its general direction. She squinted at the sudden light and walked towards it, intent on questioning Rafael why he didn’t answer her. She didn’t spot him at first, but she heard muffled tears and it led her vision downwards.

Her entire body softened when she saw him, curled up with his back against the cabinets, pressed as far away from the doorway as possible. Her initial scan didn’t reveal any physical injuries, so she sat down near him. Not right next to him, but close enough that he could feel her presence. He was crying, and he looked… small. Not that he was particularly tall any other given day, but his presence always took up a lot of space. He was passionate, and his showmanship leaked off of him, usually. But there, curled up while doing his best to muffle the sobs strong enough to wrack his frame, he was small. Dim.

Rita had comforted an upset Rafael several times before, he gave his heart away easily and had gotten it broken several times since they’d moved in together, but this was different. This wasn’t a breakup, this was about ghosts, and she hasn’t helped him with those before. She hesitated for a few moments, before she began to talk. She talked about the awful lecturer she had that morning, and why she left the party, and when she ran out of things to talk about, she told stories of her childhood and some random fairy tails she remembered reading as a young girl. She talked until Rafael’s eyes were less far away, his tears slower, and his presence just a little bit larger than it had been.

“Rafi?” She said softly, “Are you with me?” Her voice was a little sore, but she told herself it was good practice for court. Rafael’s gaze slid from between the floor and wall of their small kitchen towards her. He blinked at her a few times, another couple tears falling down.

“Ree?” He asked, sniffling. His voice was equally as soft, and a little high-pitched. She smiled gently at him, and held out her hand as an offer, he took it in his. She squeezed his hand slightly and was relieved when he squeezed back. “Not supposed to be here,” Rafael mumbled, slurring a couple of the words together. She wondered if he’d had anything to drink, but Rafael hated drinking to the point where he was emotional, so she somewhat doubted it. His eyes were slightly widened, and shone with innocence.

“Slumber party got canceled,” She explained, scanning him again. He was acting strangely, and she wasn’t sure why. “Are you feeling okay?” She asked, squinting at his face. Rafael nodded, but swallowed nervously.

“I wanna go to bed,” He mumbled, eyelids drooping. Rita frowned but made a mental note to check on him the next morning. She stood up first, and then helped him up, stabilizing him when he wobbled. She walked him, hand in hand, to his bedroom. He was already in sweats and a t-shirt, so she guided him straight towards his bed. He got in, and reached with practiced ease behind his pillow, pulling out a clearly well-loved stuffed shark. She looked away when he gave it a hug, feeling like an intruder. His desk light was on, and she went over to turn it off, but stopped when she heard a soft noise of protest.

“Do you want the light on?” She asked, tilting her head. Thinking back on it, every time she’d walked in on him sleeping, the desk lamp had been on. Rafael nodded his head silently, looking embarrassed. She left the lamp alone, instead stepping towards his bed. She pressed a quick kiss to his forehead and quickly made her exit, an embarrassed blush rising to her cheeks that remained even as she laid in her own bed after getting ready. Rafael was going to murder her for daring to kiss his forehead, but that was alright, since she was planning on killing him for scaring her so badly. Rita fell asleep to the image of Rafael in bed, shark plush tucked close to his chest, playing in her head.

-

Rita groaned as her alarm went off the next morning, slapping at it until the infernal noise shut off. She huffed, laying in bed for a couple of minutes before shucking off her covers and getting ready for the day. Rafael’s bedroom door was open, but the room was void of the man in question. She strained her ears, listening to the sound of movement in the kitchen, and smirked. She was going to make him pay for the heart attack he gave him the previous night. Rita marched to the kitchen, leaning in the doorway until Rafael stood around and noticed her, jumping. She laughed at his betrayed look, before composing herself.

“We need to talk,” She told him, narrowing her eyes when he avoided eye contact with her, his shoulders raising. “I’m not mad about last night,” She continued, grinning internally when his eyes flicked up to meet hers for a moment before moving away again, “I just have some questions.”

“Of course,” He replied weakly, “I’m really sorry-”

“How long have you been having panic attacks?” Rita asked with a frown, “And why didn’t you tell me about them?” She tacked on, staring at him intently. Rafael stayed silent for a few moments, and then pushed past her position in the doorway to sit on the couch, she followed after him, but stayed standing.

“Since I was a kid,” He answered ruefully, a sad smile on his face. “And I don’t have them often, so it never crossed my mind.” Internally, Rafael was glad that Rita was asking about that instead of anything else that happened. His memory was a bit fuzzy, but he had a decent recollection of the events that had transpired the previous night. Rita was frowning at him, so he tried to listen to what she was saying.

“Last night,” Rita began, pausing for a moment when she saw him flinch, but pushing on, “You were acting… different. Why?” Rita saw no point in dancing around the question like Rafael clearly wanted her too, she would be blunt, and if he wanted to lie he could, but she doubted he would.

“Sometimes I feel like a kid,” Rafael blurted out. Rita blinked at him, but he paid her no mind, continuing on. “Not like in a fun way, but when I’m upset or scared I just- it’s like I’m a kid again and everything is magnified and terrifying. And I really feel like a kid, to my brain I am a kid, and I try really hard to not do that but sometimes it happens and I can’t- I can’t control it when I’m like that.” Rita took a few moments to process everything, nodding to herself as she considered his words.

“Okay,” Rita responded, mostly to herself. “Okay.” She repeated, nodding at Rafael. “When you feel like a kid, what helps?” Rafael stared blankly at her, she stared back until he looked away, a blush rising to his cheeks. He muttered something, eyes flicking towards her, she narrowed her eyes, and he repeated himself, louder.

“I have Finn,” Rafael repeated, still quietly. His blush deepened as Rita tried to figure out what he was talking about. She grinned when it clicked.

“The shark?” She asked, just to make sure. Rafael nodded, ducking his head to try and hide his blush. “That’s a good start, anything else?” She could see him debating with himself, and kept quiet as he tried to figure out what he was going to say.

“I liked it, last night, when you were talking. It was less awful with you there.” He admitted, and before the moment could get too soft, he added, “Especially the forehead kiss,” cheekily. It was Rita’s turn to blush now, and she swatted at his arm as they both laughed.

“It’s a start,” Rita concluded, “But I want you to know that I still love you, as my best friend, regardless.” She looked at him earnestly, and they shared a soft smile. “And that I would love to see this baby Rafa again, he was very sweet.” She finished, laughing as Rafael grew embarrassed once again. “He was!” She insisted as Rafael shook his head, “Just a sweet little boy with his shark stuffy.”

-

Later that same day, Rafael would arrive back from his classes and find a folded blanket in his room. It was a deep blue with a star pattern on it, and incredibly soft. There was a note that read, “Thought this might help too”, in Rita’s handwriting attached to the top of it. Rafael carefully placed the note on his desk and wrapped himself in the blanket, his whole body relaxing as he did so. It was the perfect size for him to cocoon himself in, and he made a mental reminder to buy Rita a thank you gift as he flopped onto his bed, intent on just being cozy for a little while.

#star speaks #star writes #agere #sfw agere #impure agere #(sort of) #impure regression #fluff #hurt/comfort #angst #angst with a happy ending #rafael barba #rita calhoun #besties #law and order agere #law and order svu #age regression #agere fic #barba #my baby

[haunting-venus]

green with desire ↳ rafael barba x fem!reader

content warnings | smut ( minors dni ), canonical svu violence, jealousy, feelings of inadequacy/anxiety ( so, light angst ), dirty talk, fem!dom if you squint really hard, some begging

word count: 6241

Of all of the terrible ideas you’d had in your life, debating punching a police officer in a crowded bar was definitely top three on the list. Your rational mind knew that it would end with split knuckles and an assault charge, while the emotional side of your brain told you to throw rationale to the wind and throw your knuckles across that brown-haired bitch’s temple.

You tried to focus your gaze on anything but the woman inciting your rage, your nails biting into your thigh. Soft light flickered off of the vintage art prints hanging on the wall, reflecting the black-and-white images of famous figures in the history of New York. Pop music sounded against the walls, just loud enough that you could feel the bump in the music at the bottom of your chest. The venue was moderately sized but felt claustrophobic with the amount of casually dressed NYPD officers that teemed at all corners, sipping a variety of beers and leaning against the polished mahogany countertop of the bar.

Leaning against that mahogany bar was a tall, slender woman with tumbling brown hair and doe eyes squinted in delight at the man in front of her. A manicured, unpolished finger circled the rim of her mojito while her other hand rested closer and closer to the man’s rested elbow. Below her fitted purple top rested a gleaming gold badge, saddled on a shapely hip. Her teeth glinted just as brightly as her badge when she giggled, lightly swatting the man’s arm. None of this would necessarily be a problem, if the man the officer was inching towards was not your boyfriend.

Instead of letting your fist connect where it was itching to, your grip tightened on your margarita glass and took a heavy gulp of the sour drink. You were a guest at an unofficial NYPD get-together, surrounded by acquaintances celebrating the recent closing of a corruption case in tandem with an officer’s birthday. Somewhere in the crowd, Detective Sonny Carisi strolled with a beer in his hand and a ‘Happy Birthday Big Boy’ pin gleaming on his breast. Tensions had run so high within the precinct the last few weeks that the need to let loose was nearly oozing off of every civil servant in the bar. The last thing anyone here needed was a librarian they barely knew from Queens assaulting a police officer and disrupting a perfectly civil get-together.

You’d met Rafael Barba while waiting in a ridiculously long line for the new coffee shop that opened down the street from the library you worked at. Caught in your own world listening to a podcast, eyes downcast to adjust a seam on your cable-knit sweater, you had collided head on with the rushing attorney resulting in black coffee tipping onto each of you. The pale blue shirt under his pin-checked brown vest and jacket had suffered the most, thoroughly drenched in hot coffee with a mottled brown stain right across his chest. You’d made a horrified, choked noise and tried to apologize as you rushed across the room in search of napkins, mumbling apologies as you dabbed at his wet suit in vain.

His annoyed gaze had softened slightly as he watched you flit around the shop with pink cheeks and wild eyes, completely ignoring the mess on your own shirt in favor of making amends to a complete stranger. He had eventually chuckled, pushing your hand away from his chest and declaring the suit a lost cause. You’d finally been able to get a good luck at him as you lowered your hands, trying to reassemble some sense of pride as the patrons of the shop gazed after your neurotic display. He was hispanic, not too tall but with broad shoulders outlined pristinely by his tailored jacket, brown hair coiffed and barely out of place even with all of your fretting. His green eyes shone with a hint of amusement even behind his mostly serious expression.

You had insisted on paying for the dry-cleaning of his suit, to which he brushed off the offer with a chuckle, promising that no grudges would be held in exchange for a new cup of coffee. He had been intrigued with your kindhearted (if strange) behavior and the way your cheeks flushed cutely when he smiled at you, prompting him to ask if you’d have time to meet for a real sit-down coffee the following week. You’d been delighted and tense at once, not one to go out on a limb with strangers, especially such handsome and well-spoken ones.

When you had met Rafael for coffee the following Thursday, the two of you had thankfully been able to avoid spilling your drinks on one another, to which Rafael had given a quick joke about in order to break the ice. You’d found yourself easily falling into conversation with Rafael, who you had learned was a prosecutor that worked nearby for the District Attorney’s office. Your nerves were quickly comforted by his easy ability to joke and his unhidden interest in getting to know you, his soft green eyes never leaving your smiling face. It didn’t take long to discover that you shared a love for historical fiction literature and high-end coffee, and you had ended the lunch with entwined fingers as he walked you to the large double doors of the library you worked at.

A few lunches quickly turned into dinners on the rare nights when Rafael was able to escape his office, where he showered you with compliments and wine expensive enough that it made you nervous to drink it. You’d quickly become accustomed to the strong feel of his hands gripping your waist as he kissed you in the entrance of his oak-furnished apartment entryway, heat rushing through your veins at the heated whispers he hissed into your neck. You treasured the quiet mornings in his kitchen almost more than the extravagant dinners. Scrambled eggs and espresso in his brightly-lit kitchen overlooking the city, his hair soft and unstyled as he swayed with you on the tile floor, that peek into this more relaxed version of your usually nothing-less-than-proper partner felt more precious than gold.

You’d never been the type of person that flaunted their relationship, especially since Rafael was such a prominent figure in the New York legal system. There was a prickling fear in the early days of your relationship that you were too plain to publicly be seen with a man associated with such prestige and power, that you would look like nothing more than a sweater-clad bookworm feigning at being worthy of a man much above her standing. When Rafael had discovered this, he’d been quick to quiet your concerns with his fingers in your hair and his head between your legs until you could think of nothing else.

After his many reassurances that he would love to show you off at any time possible, including to his coworkers, you’d become more self-confident. You’d begun to surprise Rafael at work with bagel sandwiches from an artisan bakery in between your workplaces, toting coffee and paper bags through the looming hallways of Hogan Place and barely paying attention to those who spared you a second glance for planting a kiss on the primly dressed ADA. Soon afterward, you had joined the squad of the Special Victims Unit and Rafael for the celebration of the conviction of a serial rapist. You were proud of the progress you had made with Rafael’s coworkers, forming timid friendships with the detectives that he worked so closely with on a daily basis. You were glad that you’d gained enough confidence to hold your own without using Rafael as a fallback in social situations with his coworkers, but it all felt bittersweet now that he’d been approached by another woman as soon as you had gone to chat with Detective Rollins with celebratory tequila shots.

You had gathered vaguely from Amanda that the brunette ogling your boyfriend at the bar was a recent witness in a major police corruption case that Rafael had been handling, Detective Sandra Allen from the Narcotics division. She was a hero and a villain at the same time in the eyes of her fellow cops; a snitch who ratted on her fellow officers who were spending their county-paid salary hours manipulating prostitutes into sexual favors in exchange for staying out of prison. The case made you sick, and the fact that you could feel nothing but disdain for this woman who bravely stood up and testified on behalf of those sex workers made shame burn deep in your stomach.

You didn’t need to be a police officer to notice Amanda’s sly looks between you and the scene going on at the bar, or that she was trying to hold back her laughter from the growing redness in your face that you tried to blame on the alcohol. You had hardly been listening to Fin’s rambling story about how his grandson had been inexplicably angry at the balloons he’s seen in the park because they would not stop floating, no matter how much he asked. On any other day, you would have loved to look at Fin half-drunkenly showing off his adorable lump of a grandson with a grinning smile. Right now, though, you could only hear the deep cadence of Rafael’s laugh as he finished off his scotch, and only see Detective Allen’s beautiful and flirtatious smile directed toward the man you had spent the last several months building a life with.

You were worried that the glass in your hand would shatter under your grip as you set it forcefully on the table. You knew there was no reason for you to be acting this way, feeling so scorned and bubbling with jealousy over the easy way that Allen fawned over your partner. You knew more than anyone the easy charm that Rafael brought to conversations, even when he was being a sarcastic bastard. You knew you weren’t the only woman who admired his passion and his good-looks, but having it shoved in your face like this felt much worse than just knowing it in the back of your mind.

Amanda’s mischievous expression quickly morphed to shielded concern when she noticed just how much you were bothered by the scene in front of you. Her demeanor took on the protective edge that came so easily to all the detectives you had met at the SVU, poised to talk someone down or to throw an elbow into someone’s teeth. “Hey, you want me to go do some crowd control over at the bar? I’m sure the Counselor is just waiting for the best opportunity to get out of there.”

You knew that you should just go over there and put a stop to it. You wanted so badly to have the conviction to strut over to Rafael, straddle his lap and make him moan in front of that woman, to show her just how he crumbled under your touch, how you were the one to bring him to his knees, to receive his hardships and his worship, not her. That display of power, of claim over a man that so many people wanted, would no doubt make her back off. But that wasn’t who you were. You were not the sultry-smiled woman who captured the eyes of every room she walked into, the one who could bite at a woman to back off of what was hers. So, instead, you threw back the rest of your drink, taking a moment to relish in the burn of tequila and the acidity of the lime that buzzed through your veins, and sent a tight-lipped smile to Amanda and Fin.

“I think I’m actually gonna turn in for the night. Too much tequila makes me stupid, you know.” You gave an unconvincing chuckle as you set some bills on the table to cover your drinks and a tip. Amanda opened her mouth to protest, hoping to keep you from leaving, but you were already pulling your peacoat onto your shoulders.

You had only gotten halfway down the street, heaving heavy breaths to lighten your heart rate and the burn behind your eyes, when Rafael called out your name from the direction of the bar. The street was relatively quiet for a Wednesday night, with only a few stragglers walking between the handful of establishments on the block. You steadied your expression before turning on your heel towards him with a shaky smile.

He stepped toward you with a soft look so often reserved only for you, his brows furrowed in slight worry. His black trenchcoat fell beautifully against his broad chest, green eyes accented by the specks of emerald in his patterned tie. Even after months, you still felt yourself melt a little at the kindness behind his eyes. “You ran out so quickly with no goodbye, is everything alright?”

“I’m just tired, and you seemed like you were having a good time talking to Detective Allan. Didn’t want to take you away from the fun.”

His eyebrows rose in question at the unexpected bite in your tone. You had tried to hide your rising feelings with the shit poor excuse, but Rafael hadn’t become a successful ADA by not being able to read people. It was one of the things you loved and hated about him, how he could peel back the layers of what you were feeling to gaze at the very core of you. It made you feel cared for and probed at the same time.

“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I was only being cordial with a witness who put a lot on the line to testify in our case.” He stepped into your space, running a thumb across your cold and flushed cheeks. His voice was steady, his eyes honest but confused. You scoffed lightly, still feeling your anger simmering but being calmed by his steadying touch. His hand dropped from your cheek at your exclamation, steadying a solid look at you. “Look, you know I am not exactly the DA’s office favorite person, much less the police department. She was worried about how her colleagues were going to see her, she wanted advice on how to deal with interoffice conflict.”

“Oh, don’t pull that. The only thing she was worried about was how quickly she could get your hands up her skirt.” The words burned your throat, emerging into the air before you could stop yourself. You knew Rafael wasn’t a stupid man, and you didn’t want him to treat you like you were either.

“Excuse me?” Rafael’s eyes hardened, a muscle in his jaw twitching as you took a step back from him. Your outburst had gained the attention of a passerby who gave the two of you a quick once over, and it only stoked your anger and shame. Rafael guided you with the motion of his hand towards the side of the sidewalk. “Look, I didn’t mean to abandon you, I’m sorry. I was only being polite to a woman who is going through what might be the worst time of her life. She needed someone to reassure her, to ask about her options-”

“So she had to wait until your girlfriend left to ask you about all of that? I’m not naive, you know. I see how women look at you, the looks they have when they realize you’re with me, like you’re settling for something that’s so beneath you. That they could give you something hotter, younger-”

“Stop! Just stop!” He ran a hand across his face, his expression softening as he saw the hurt on your face, the insecurity he thought the two of you had quelled long ago. “We’ve talked about this, I thought we had dealt with this. You are the only one I want to be with. The only one that I want to see in my bed in the mornings or bringing me coffee for lunch or watching tv in my old t-shirts. It’s only you.”

Shame and anxiety still burned deep in your blood as you felt burning behind your eyes. The anger had fizzled like a campfire under rain, replaced with humiliation settling deep into your stomach. A few tears wet the side of your face, and you avoided what you hoped wasn’t pity on Rafael’s face. “I’m sorry, I know that. I just- I just lost my temper and-”

“Look, I only want you. I want you to know that I only want you.” He brushed away the wetness from your cheekbone with a reassuring smile. He pressed a fleeting kiss to the side of your head as he pulled you into his chest, stroking a heavy hand between your shoulder blades. His woody cologne mingled with the salt of your tears, wrapping around you in comfort.“Let’s take a cab, forget about this bar. If you’re still doubting the way I feel about you, I clearly didn’t get my point across last time.”

You pulled back with a surprised laugh, tightening your grip on the sides of Rafael’s neck. A new heat flushed to your face with the intrigue in Rafael’s eyes, your ego stoked that he still found you desirable in the messy state that you were in. You leaned up, capturing his lips in an impassioned kiss, letting the feel of his stubble and the grip of his fingers wash over you like a wave. A shiver ran through your limbs to your fingertips, goosebumps rising as you felt the edge of his teeth against your lips. A heated gasp went through you as your back hit the nearby wall, feeling the solid line of Rafael’s body slot between your legs and against your chest. 

“Let me bring you home, show you exactly how much I want you. Please, hermosa, let me.” His voice was thick and had an edge of desperation that shot heat through your entire body, igniting every edge of your nerves with the brush of his lips to your neck.The lick of power that ran through you at having this man, so powerful and beautiful and respected, begging for the opportunity to bed you sent you reeling. With a nod, you pulled Rafael to the edge of the sidewalk to hail a cab, his hand gripping your waist.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You’d spent the majority of the cab ride from the bar stroking your thumb on the inside of Rafael’s knee, taking long moments to let your eyes linger on the clenching of his strong hands, the swell of his powerful chest beneath his vest, the slow darkening of his eyes with arousal as you raked your eyes over him. In the elevator ride up to your loft, his fingers trailed teasingly along the bottom of your sweater, sneaking underneath to rub at the skin of your hip with fleeting touches that ran heat up your spine and between your legs. You felt yourself wanting to push him back against the mirrored wall of the elevator, to go down to your knees and to hear your name echoing from his lips as you sucked him, but kept your face falsely neutral. This was part of the game, of him letting you know how much he wanted you, how he couldn’t keep his hands off of you. You felt your face flush with the intimacy of the touches, his eyes glinting at your suppressed smile.

By the time you’d reached the entrance of your studio apartment, the buzz of your earlier tequila drinks had worn off in favor of the thrill of Rafael’s touch skating up under your shirt, fingers trailing beneath your clothed breast. As quickly as your jacket slid to the floor, your back was pressed solidly against the entryway wall, your hair pushed to the side to let your boyfriend suck slow kisses into the column of your throat. The nick of his teeth against the cord of your throat let a soft sound rise from your chest, your head falling back to knock against the wall.

Stepping away to remove his trenchcoat, Rafael took a brief moment to admire your panting frame, your cheeks flushed high with want and warmth. His tone was breathy, but serious as he hung up his jacket and vest.“You’re sure that you’re in the mood? I can always bring out some wine, put on that Bermuda Triangle documentary you’ve been wanting to watch.”

His words were sweet, but you could still see the heat burning in his eyes, even as he stood carefully away from you as he awaited your answer. You smiled as you stepped forward, fingers stroking the bulge in his black trousers, a rush of confidence coming from the deep groan he let into the air. “As lovely as that sounds, I think I’ll save that for after I ride you until the neighbors complain about the noise.”

“Your noises or mine, cariño?” He taunted as he pulled your sweater over your head, his hands finding your breasts with a delicate squeeze as you pulled him by the tie towards your bed in the further corner of your studio. His thumbs rubbed against the ridge of your nipple through the thin bra, your bitten lip barely containing your groan. His lips found yours again quickly, swallowing up the breathy noises you made.

“Why don’t we see who makes them come knocking first?” You grinned as pulled firmly at the back of his hair, letting a groan rumble against the seam of your lips. A swell of pride rose in your chest as you pushed Rafael back against the mattress, making quick work of his buttons as you let your ass fall firmly onto the bulge in his pants. His hands gripped your thighs tightly, his fingers indenting your pants with their firm hold. He brought his left hand between your thighs, letting his thumb rub idly against you through your pants as your movements on his buttons stuttered. 

You steadied yourself against Rafael with a hand on his shoulder, rushing to remove your bra with the other hand to feel your skin against him. Your fingers stuttered over the clasp repeatedly, your head falling back at the pleasure that pooled between your legs. An easy smirk graced his handsome features at the stuttered breath you let in at the work of his fingers, sitting up at the waist to pull your breasts against his chest and rub between your legs more firmly. “Getting distracted over there, hermosa?”

The pet name brought a groan from your throat, wetness pooling in your cunt from his deep voice laced with arousal. Rafael’s pressed white button-up hung loosely off his shoulders, and you pushed the rest off with a renewed need to get your hands on his bare chest. His tan skin stretched over a strong chest and corded shoulders that held you firmly, dark chest hair brushed across your skin. You ran your hands down his pecs to run your nails across his stomach near the buckle of his belt, relishing in the shiver that ran through him.

Your tongue licked into his mouth with a moan, bringing one hand to the back of his head to thread your fingers through his salt and peppered hair while your hips moved against his covered cock. The hand over your pants faltered as he pulled away from your kiss, letting you get a look at his wide-blown pupils before he took his teeth to your neck with a moan.“Who’s distracted now, huh?”

You rolled to the side to shimmy out of your cotton pants, taking care to stretch your back to give Rafael a view of the curve of your ass as you turned. He pulled himself to the head of the bed, one hand stroking firmly against his hard cock over his trousers while he held the other near his kiss-swollen mouth. You felt a pang of wetness between your thighs at his lidded gaze, his eyes following each curve of your body like it was a melody he yearned to play. You leaned forward toward Rafael, your hair tumbling over the swell of your breasts as you climbed on top of him. His hands quickly moved back to slide along your body, one pinching your nipple while the other slid underneath the purple lace between your legs, dipping his fingers into the wetness there.

Rafael groaned as you ground your cunt against his hand, letting you seek your pleasure from his steady hand. The hand at your breast lowered to unbutton his trousers, his cock peeking from the edges of his dark briefs. “God, cariño, you're always so wet for me. You like my fingers on you?”

You stuttered out a breath as Rafael’s fingers dipped inside you, the palm of his hand rubbing gently against your clit as he stroked inside of you. The rolling pleasure from both areas of contact had sweat building on your chest, a moan coming high in your throat when you tried to answer. “F-fuck, yes, Raf, just like that. God…so good.”

Your breathy words spurred him on, adding another finger to your pussy. You gathered some composure, gripping your nails into Rafael’s shoulder with pleasure while your other hand went to stroke his thick cock. His rewarding moan was well worth the effort it took to keep a clear head as his fingers massaged inside you, bringing you rapidly to a crest of rising pleasure. Your legs shook even as you brought your hand up in a stroke, tightening your grip around the head in the way you knew made his eyes roll back. Precum dripped from the tip of his cock, slicking the way for your fingers to work faster, to make him feel as good as he was making you feel.

“Fuck, if you keep doing that, I’ll be gone before I even get to fuck you.”

He groaned out your name as he flipped you onto your back, moving your hand from his cock as he moved his thumb to rub firm circles against your clit.You threw your head back in pleasure from his show of strength, his forearms and biceps flexing enticingly each time he drove his fingers into you. The fingers of Rafael’s other hand gripped your ass, bringing your hips up to his hand as he kissed his way down your neck and breasts. He murmured praises of ‘beautiful’ and ‘mine’ that made your blood soar, pleasure cresting low in your stomach as your breath quickened. Your moans pitched, your nails digging into Rafael’s shoulder letting him know you were close. He breathed out a few words of Spanish, letting his teeth sink hard into the junction of your neck as you reached your high. His name slipped loudly from your lips before you bit down on your lip, shaking in his arms as he continued to stroke you through your orgasm.

Your gaze was blurry with pleasurable tears when you faced Rafael, bringing his lips to yours in a messy kiss before sneaking off to the washroom for a glass of water. When you re-emerged from the bathroom with a half-drunk glass of water, Rafael was on his back with a hand wrapped lazily around himself, his cock jumping when he caught sight of your flushed face and the growing bruise on your neck. You crawled atop your boyfriend, letting the wetness of your release drag teasingly over the length of his cock. Rafael’s hair was tousled, strands hanging enticingly in front of his eyes as he gazed hungrily at your body. He looked delectable, sweat edging along the edges of his brow and his cock glistening when it peaked above his fingers. He looked at you like a parched man drinking in the sight of an oasis, like you were anything and everything he needed at that moment. You wanted to see just how far he would go to have you.

Testing your luck, you edged your fingers along the edges of Rafael’s arms, guiding them above his head. His eyes were curious as he followed your lead, raising his muscled arms above his head for you to wrap a hand around his wrists. The muscles in his shoulders flexed as he readjusted himself as he raised a teasing eyebrow at you “Want to have me at your mercy, hermosa?”

What had started as a fleeting idea now struck a new wave of arousal over you as you gazed down at the powerful man underneath you, his eyes soft and filled with hot desire. God, he was everything you’d ever wanted presented beautifully between your legs, gazing at you like he wanted to devour you. An idea picked at the corner of your mind, sending a coy smile across your face as you draped your body over Rafael’s chest.

“Tell me.” Rafael looked at you with confusion now, readjusting his hands above his head. His tongue came out to wet his lips. He was usually the one making demands in bed, bending you to his will for both your pleasure. You felt it might be time to turn the tables.  “Keep your hands there, and tell me you want to fuck me, only me.”

Your words were shakier than you’d wanted them to be, revealing your anxieties about taking control in this way for the first time. However, Rafael quickly relaxed under your touch, a new degree of interest entering his gaze at this undiscovered side of you. He looked you in the eyes as he groaned what you had asked. “God, I want to fuck you, more than anything.” 

“I think you can do better than that.” You teased, licking a long stripe along the side of his neck up to his ear. The words felt foreign in your mouth, but you were encouraged by the twitch of his cock against you as he gasped lightly. He looked up at you with a playful glimmer in his eye, a little smirk playing on his lips.

“Are you asking me to beg?”

The words sent a blazing heat to your cunt, swallowing heavily at his words. Rafael’s eyes lit up in a similar way as when he was cross-examining someone in court, when they gave him the inch of leverage that he could stretch a mile. The proud look he got when he had someone exactly where he wanted them.

“Oh, you like that, don’t you cariño. Me, begging for your pussy like it’s the only thing I’ve ever needed in my life.” it was a statement more than a question, and fuck, the confidence he exuded even when he was under you like this had your head spinning with heady arousal. His words rumbled in your chest, urging another movement of your hips against his cock.

“Only if you want your cock inside me at any point tonight.” The words sounded hollow in your throat, undermined by the breathiness of your voice, you pressed against him again to quell off any embarrassment you felt. He grinned like he knew exactly what his words were doing to you, but let himself play the role you’d assigned him for now. If part of you wanted to try something, all of him wanted to comply, to fulfill your every desire.

“God, you look so beautiful like this. Please, please let me inside you. Let me get you off how I know you like hermosa. Please.” Even though you had a feeling he intentionally raised the whininess in his voice, the breathy tones still sent pangs of pleasure to your cunt. You gasped as the words left his mouth, pressing a desperate kiss to Rafael’s lips as you lined up his cock.

Your eyes slipped shut as you eased onto Rafael’s cock, the ridges of the head stroking the sweetest places inside of you that caused stuttered moans to fall from your lips. You ran the flat of your palm up Rafael’s chest, cupping the side of his cheek as you drove his cock into you. Rafael cursed as you seated yourself on his lap, your head thrown back in ecstasy at being filled, at being fucked. His hands shook above his head with the desire to touch you. He keened as you shifted his full length inside you, circling your hips to adjust to him.

You looked down at him between your thighs, flushed high on his cheeks with nothing capturing his attention but your body moving above him on his cock. Each swivel of your hips pushed his cock firmly into that spot that made you see stars and pushed deep, moaning praises from his throat. You reveled in the fact that no one else could see him like this, could make him moan and beg under them like this.

“God, everyone wants you like this and it’s just me that can have you. Just me that makes you feel this good, right baby? They all wish they could have your cock stretching them like this.” You babbled as your thoughts were overwhelmed with pleasure. You knew you sounded half mad, but you were too far gone to notice, relishing in the pleasure deep in your cunt.

“Fuck!” Rafael, moaned your name, finally moving his hands from above his head to bruisingly grab your hips. He raised his knees behind your back to gain leverage to roll his hips into you deep and steady, moans stuttering from your throat with every thrust that sent his cock deep inside you.

“So sexy, keep making those pretty noises for me, please.” Rafael’s words were near ravenous and you were glad you weren’t the only one overwhelmed with pleasure, desperately voicing every dirty thought that came to your mind when you looked at the man in front of you. Rafae’s grip along the curve of your waist allowed him to get the leverage to pull you down hard onto his cock 

“Aah, fuck, please, Rafael, I-I’m gonna—d-don’t stop.” You didn’t know if you meant him pulling you down hard onto his cock or the filthy words that sent heat reeling through your body.

“God,” one of Rafael’s hands slid up to grasp your breast tightly, your nipple brushing the calloused skin of his fingers and had fire licking up your spine. His eyes were wild as he drank in the sight of you crying out on his cock, your fingers reaching to circle your clit as he pulled you against him. His tone was pinched and loud, ragged with his heavy breathing.“I want you to come, on my cock, right now. Please, cariño, give it to me.”

“Raf, God, you’re making me-fuck, yes” You felt tears brim the edge of your eyes as your pleasure climbed to something primal, each rub of your clit, every brush of Rafael’s hands against you setting you aflame until you felt yourself collapsing around him with a cry of his name. He slowed, but never stopped, his movements as he rocked you against him through your orgasm, soothing the shivers of your body with his warm hands. You panted as he came down from your second high of the night, your legs shook with the effort to remain upright. 

“God, you’re killing me. Please, let me come inside you, fill you, I need-” you cracked your eyes to capture Rafael’s expression, lips parted around a moan when you moved your hands to grip at his hair. Hardly trusting your words, you nodded in your agreement with a whispered plea to ‘do it, please, come for me’. Rafael’s body went taut for a heartbeat, driving himself hard into a last few times as he came. His eyes clenched shut, his hands gripping your hips as he mumbled out praise.

Catching your breath, you rolled off of the bed to grab a towel, taking a moment to wipe yourself off before jumping back onto the moderately clean sheets, taking a moment to admire your boyfriend in his post-sex haze. This could be one of your favorite versions of Rafael, limbless and content, pressing his lips to the crown of your head as you regained your breath together. You pressed a kiss to his chest as you wrapped your arm around him, whatever insecurities you had been feeling before was long extinguished by the solidness of Rafael underneath you, his ragged breathing and the ache between your legs as proof of your mutual want.

You lay in silence for a few moments, his fingers carding through your hair before he spoke. He pulled his head back to look you in the eyes, stroking a soft hand across the back of your head. “Will you promise me that, next time you are feeling the way you did at the bar, you’ll let me know instead of storming off. That way, we can talk it through and maybe have a repeat of this, instead of you feeling awful because your mind likes to tell you lies.”

You gave a chuckle, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth with your smiling lips. “Sounds like we’ve reached a deal, Counselor.”

He let out a rueful groan, pulling you tighter into his chest as you giggled. “Call me that again and I’ll be rescinding my offer.”

“Understood…Counselor.” you whispered, avoiding his playfully stern gaze by heading to the kitchen to get that wine he had promised you.

#law and order svu #law and order special victims unit #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #raul esparza #venus writes

[nophunleague]

Rafael Barba Appears at the 16th Precinct Again

Rafael Barba x gn!reader

warnings: angst, grudge holding.

You all but crash into the conference room at the 16th, anxious to tell the squad that Mickey Davis had gotten some hot shot attorney, that you had heard courthouse gossip about it. The door swings open and you're met by Kat, Fin, Rollins, and Rafael.

His green eyes almost darken at the sight of you. He's not shocked that you're here, it's just the shock of not having seen you in years that strikes him. Taking in the crowd in the room you barely blink before spitting out at Rafael, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, you just look like someone I used to know," before spinning on your heel and storming back out into the squad room. You don't even look up at Liv and the deputy chief as they pass you. Amanda follows after you after Rafael is pulled into Liv's office by the Captain and Deputy Chief Garland. You're sat at your desk, head up in a thousand yard stare.

"Well I think you definitely hurt his feelings, if that's what you were going for," you're broken from your gaze by her speech and you look up to her from your seated position.

"After what he put me through I think what I said was fairly tame."

"You might be right about that, but maybe think about what he's been through too. He nearly threw his entire career away and had to leave you in the process," she tries to reason with you but your eyes narrow as she keeps talking.

"He didn't have to leave me and he should have talked to me first. I showed up to work one day and he was gone. The man I loved left me without a single word. It felt like my life fell apart," you seethe. Amanda looks over your shoulder to see Rafael standing behind you.

"That's very mature of you," she says before walking away, he walks up behind you and gently lays a hand on your shoulder. But you hadn't notice him yet so as he makes contact with your body you jump to face him, hand on your holstered weapon.

"Woah," he throws his hands up, "its just me," you scoff but remove your hand from your hip.

"Just you? Just you?" You start to pace back and forth in front of him, searching for the words to tell him off. But deep down you're glad to see him, he looks healthy, the beard he's grown compliments him.

"We should talk."

"Oh you want to talk now? But you didn't want to talk four years ago when you left," you all but shriek, your voice sparking the attention of those in the precinct. "You pulled the plug on someone's baby, were charged with murder, acquitted, and then you left me. And you didn't talk to me about any of it. We were supposed to be together and you left me out of it," your voice continues to raise as you takes steps closer to him, ending up in his face. His eyes search yours trying to find the person who he had once loved, but all he find is someone who has undoubtedly been incredibly hurt by his actions. The tears are threatening to spill from you eyes but you stay strong. Your raised voice causes Liv to step outside of her office.

"Both of you, take it outside. Now," you glance between Rafael and Liv before turning on your heel and storming out with Rafael following close behind. You meet again in the elevator where this time you stay silent.

"I didn't know how to tell you I was leaving, so I just left," he says quietly. "It wasn't the right thing to do, you didn't deserve that, but I needed to leave here. I was suffocating," the both of you stare at the elevator doors, not daring to look at one another. You reach up and hit the elevator switch, stopping the elevator in its descent.

"No, I didn't deserve that," a tear escapes your left eye at last, but you don't wipe it away. "You threw me away like I meant nothing to you. I would have went with you if you had just talked to me."

"You meant everything to me. I just couldn't let you throw your NYPD career away to come with me on the campaign trail. You were just getting to the point of being on the precipice of making sergeant," his eyes are now glued to the side of you head while you keep looking at the doors. You take a second to think about what you're going to say before raising your voice and making direct eye contact.

"Yeah well I failed the sergeant's exam twice since you left so I'll only ever be a detective now," Rafael can feel the holes your eyes are burning in him, his breath kicks up and he's uncharacteristically speechless for a moment. You huff and flip the elevator switch again allowing it to continue its descent. The doors open on the ground level of the 16th and you start to take a step out when he speaks.

"The day I did what I did to Baby Drew I was meant to pick up a ring. An engagement ring," he hangs his head, not looking at you.

"Oh so one day you were thinking about getting married and then next you were throwing everything we had together away? I don't know why you came back, but I don't think there's any fixing this. Not right now anyway," you shake your head as a few more tears fall.

"Liv and Fin called me," he admits.

"Oh even better, you didn't even come back for me. Tell Liv that I'll be back in a little bit," you storm out of the precinct. Rafael runs a hand through his hair as a tear now escapes one of his eyes. He composes himself quickly then presses the floor number of the squad room to go back up.

"I really fucked that up," he says to himself.

#law and order svu #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba #svu #svu imagine #rafael barba imagine #raul esparza #special victims unit