#rafael barba one shot

[smuttyfantasyrecs]

Rafael Barba

🦋 new year's resolution 🦋

@storiesofsvu

🦋 more more more 🦋

@slytherbun

🦋 too much of a good thing 🦋

@svuwritings

🦋 drunk in love 🦋 birthday imagines 🦋

@navalcriminalimagines

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #svu smut #rafael barba smut #rafael barba one shot

[megalony]

Reliving the dream- Part 4

I suddenly felt inspired to write for Rafael Barba and SVU again, I hope you will all like this part. Any requests and comments would be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr​ @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss​ @sj-thefan​ @omgitsearly​ @luckytrashgooprebel​ @scarsout​ @deaky-with-a-c​ @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac​ @vousmemanqueez-blog​ @jonesyaddiction​ @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms​ @saint-hardy​ @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls​ @mrsalwayswritex​ @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @crazylittlethingg​ @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod​ @ceres27​ @thereisa8ella​ @qardasngan​

@a-brignac​​​​

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) and Rafael had to recover from losing their baby 2 years ago, but their lives start to change again when (Y/n) finds out she’s pregnant again.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smile wormed it way onto Rafael's lips and he paused in his ministrations of undoing his tie when he felt a pair of warm arms securing around his middle. He shivered when he felt (Y/n)'s face pressing between his shoulder blades and her hot breaths fanning against his skin through his dress shirt.

"Hello mi amour," His voice was soft as butter while he threw his tie onto the bed and kicked off his shoes. He had only just walked through the bedroom door and (Y/n) automatically clung to him like he had been gone days instead of hours.

"Hi baby." (Y/n) closed her eyes and inhaled his scent before she tightened her arms around him, not wanting to pull away just yet. She could feel him chuckling quietly and he reached an arm behind him to hold her hip before he slowly turned around in her arms.

With a growing smile, Rafael cupped (Y/n)'s face in his hands and pressed a longing kiss to her lips and he swore she melted against him into a puddle. "How was your day?" He spoke quietly in between kisses and he slowly walked (Y/n) back until her knees hit the bed and she sat down.

Even though she had seen him this morning before work it felt like the hours had dragged until he walked through the door. (Y/n) wasn't ever so keen on being home alone, when they were both at work it was okay because she was busy and around people but if Rafael was working and she wasn't, (Y/n) felt at a loss for what to do. All she wanted was to be wrapped up in his arms lately and the moment he let her go she felt empty.

It didn't dawn on (Y/n) that she was only in her bra and underwear until she watched her husband rake his eyes over her frame and his smile turned into a catfish grin that made her stomach flip. She had been in the process of getting changed after a bath when Rafael came home.

A curious look came across Rafael's lips as he leaned over (Y/n) with his hands resting on her hips and his legs stood between her thighs. He watched intently as she took hold of one hand and moved his palm until it was pressed under her growing stomach. Silence enveloped them and he waited patiently and confused until he felt a small wriggle against his hand that made his face light up.

They were at twenty weeks now so it was about now that (Y/n) would start to feel the baby moving and soon she would feel them kicking and she knew the moment it started, everything would feel real. Up until now she still couldn't get her mind around the fact that they were going to have a baby. That she was going to have a baby.

All she could think about was their baby girl and a repeat of history that would render them childless again.

The chances of having another miscarriage or stillbirth were very slim and extremely unlikely but it didn't make it any easier. (Y/n) wanted to be the kind of woman who could go out and look at baby clothes and buy some in advance without panicking that if she bought even one outfit, she would tempt fate and then she would suddenly have a miscarriage. It didn't feel safe to buy anything or get the spare room set up and decorated, (Y/n) didn't want to do anything until their baby was almost born.

If she was being honest with herself, (Y/n) would rather not get anything ready until she'd gone through labour and was sure they would be able to bring their child home at the end of it all.

Going through labour and ending up with no child at the end didn't even come with feelings, it left (Y/n) and Rafael hollow. They were able to see, hold and cuddle their baby for as long as they wanted but it wasn't the same because they had to savour her touch because one touch had to last a lifetime without her.

"They know their Papi." Rafael smiled charmingly before he pulled back and began to unbutton his shirt.

At their scan next week they would find out if they were having a boy or a girl and though Rafael was excited, he knew (Y/n) was apprehensive. If they had a girl, it would feel like they were replacing Bella and he knew (Y/n) would just be waiting until the day she thought she would miscarry. If they had a boy maybe she wouldn't be so panicked but he wasn't sure.

He wanted her to enjoy the experience like last time, he knew (Y/n) had loved feeling the baby move and watching her body change to look after their baby. He would feel a lot better if (Y/n) was calmer and excited rather than panicked and worried.

"Your mum came round today," (Y/n) slowly rose from the bed with one hand rubbnig soothing circles over her stomach. She made her way over to the chair in front of the window and held out a box to Rafael.

"From mami?" He questioned befoe he took the small blue box from (Y/n)'s hands and set it down on the bed to take a peek.

His breath suddenly got stuck at the back of his throat and he felt himself tense for a few seconds as he looked into the box. Rafael's hands were subtally trembling when he slowly pulled the hand-knitted blanket out of the tissue paper. It was a lovely cream colour with rows in squares and two rows or purple and green bordering around the blanket.

"It's lovely, I cried when I opened it." (Y/n) couldn't speak without her voice breaking and it made tears well up in her eyes.

The blanket was beautiful and it was hand-made which made it all the more special but it hurt.

(Y/n) felt awful when her mother-in-law came round and gave her the gift because she couldn't help but cry when she looked at the blanket. It was touching to have something so lovely that must have taken hours to complete and it would be very special to her child when they grew older. But that was the part that made (Y/n) cry. She didn't know if the baby would be okay or even alive to appreciate this gift.

When they told his mother last time that they were pregnant, she had been over the moon and she made a similar blanket which was champagne white with pink flowers and pink ribbon sewn around the edging. She also made purple slippers for their baby as well but they had been made in vain.

"She's been dying to make some outfits since we told her." Rafael gently folded the blanket back and put it back in the box before he turned towards (Y/n).

"I know, and I want her to make them but we didn't even keep the last blanket she made, we b... I can't do that again."

(Y/n) rubbed at her tired, sore eyes before she sat down on the bed and flopped to lay on her side.

Deep down, (Y/n) wished she had that baby blanket his mother made for them. It might have been something she could hold onto and cuddle when she yearned to have their baby in her arms. It would have been a good source of comfort for them both but they didn't have it anymore. When they lost Bella, they had dressed her in the only outfit Rafael's mother had managed to make for her with how premature she had been and they wrapped her up in the same blanket she had made. Bella was buried with the blanket so she was warm and comfortable.

(Y/n) couldn't go through picking an outfit out and swaddling their next baby up in this blanket to be buried in the ground. She couldn't do it again.

"Querida, we won't have to do that this time." Rafael sat down on the bed beside her and moved his hand to smooth over her stomach. "You can feel them moving about now and we know they're okay. We're gonna have a baby who will be perfect."

A grin broke out on (Y/n)'s face despite the few tears still leaving her eyes and she slowly carded her fingers through Rafael's hair when he shuffled down so that he was level with her stomach. She wasn't sure what he whispered but whatever it was made the baby within her stir before he kissed her stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey hun, you want something to eat?"

Amanda's voice broke (Y/n) out of her thoughts and she tiredly looked up, trying to look around for the blonde who was sitting on her desk across from (Y/n). She had a Chinese takeout pot in her hand and chopsticks in the other that she was clattering together like a crab's pinchers which made (Y/n) smile despite how rough she felt.

Nothing she had been eating recently had stayed down long enough to digest, everything came back up and (Y/n) was feeling worse for wear because of it. She just prayed that Rafael wouldn't come down to the precinct today because she promised him if she didn't manage to keep breakfast down then she would stay home. But she didn't want to be home alone, if anything happened to the baby she didn't want to be alone and work was the best place to be when she was around her friends. It wasn't like she was doing any hard work either when she was bound to desk duty for the foreseeable future.

"No, thanks I'm good." It was tempting, (Y/n) was always partial to some noodles but she didn't want to take the risk. It would be better to fast for the day and let her stomach settle than risk eating something and throw it up later.

"You sure (Y/n)? There's some rice or some plain noodles if you want." Carisi perched himself on the edge of (Y/n)'s desk and held a container out towards her with a bright smile and a fork in his hand because he couldn't work the chopsticks properly.

"No... w-what have you got?" (Y/n) couldn't help the way her lips pulled into a frown when the smell hit her nose like a truck.

It never normally affected her but even the simplest food seemed to smell so horrid to (Y/n) now she was pregnant and it was making bile rise in her throat. All she wanted to do was eat, her stomach was growling with hunger and it was making her head spin but she couldn't when throwing it up again later felt so awful. Her throat burned from the acid when she was sick and her stomach seemed to turn in knots.

Starving herself until she was better would work because she had tried to eat little and often but it only meant she was sick more often. Even water wasn't staying down recently either.

"Sweet and sour chicken, want some?"

The moment Carisi moved the container towards her, (Y/n) leaned back and held her breath so she wouldn't smell the food and she pushed it back towards him, hoping he would get the hint and move it away.

"Sorry Carisi but it smells, could you...?"

"Yeah, yeah sure, sorry. Why don't you try some crackers?" He could see she was feeling a bit queasy and he also knew she hadn't eaten anything for lunch yet. Going without wouldn't be the best idea, at least some crackers would line her stomach and be easier to hold down.

It felt good to eat a few prawn crackers, (Y/n) could feel the tension leaving her body and her stomach- and the baby, seemed to settle a bit more when she ate a few. It was so tempting to gorge out and eat the whole bag but (Y/n) knew better than to do that because it wouldn't help and it was daring to want to try some rice and noodles but she had to pace herself and take it slow. Maybe this afternoon she could try and eat something else.

That was a mistake.

(Y/n) pressed her palm to her forehead and closed her eyes, trying to take a few deep breaths but she could feel the panic bubbling up in her stomach. Eating had been a mistake and it had barely been twenty minutes since she had those crackers and they were churning in her stomach already.

She was going to be sick and she knew it. Pushing herself up onto unsteady feet, (Y/n) tried to smile and walk slowly but she broke out into a sprint for the toilets when she could feel bile rising at the back of her throat and bubbling up into her mouth.

She didn't make it to the toilets.

Her knees caved in next to the water fountain that held her weight for her as she clung to it and heaved onto the floor. Even the cup of water she had managed to have this morning came back up with vengence and everything spilled out onto the floor until she was coughing and spluttering. Her skin was burning against the cold fountain beside her and (Y/n) could feel her body beginning to shake.

"(Y/n)?"

"Fuck," (Y/n) choked on the word as well as the water that was still trying to escape her lips.

(Y/n) tried to lift her head to see her husband hurrying towards her but her head felt like it was suddenly full of lead and weighing towards the floor. Even her eyes burned when she looked up through hooded lashes to see a blurry image of Rafael coming at her at full speed.

"Querida, look at me." Rafael's voice was gently but full of worry when he reached her side. He dropped his briefcase to the floor and in an instant his arms were around her waist, keeping her to his side. "Come on, mi amour." His voice was soft and gentle and he let her lean her weight onto him and guide her slowly down the corridor to the toilets.

The moment they got into the toilets, (Y/n) felt like the room had spun on its axis and the only thing keeping her up when her legs caved in was Rafael's arms that swooped under her armpits and hoisted her up so she didn't collide with the toilet.

"Fuck! Sweetheart, you still with me?" He wasn't sure if she had fainted or if her energy had dwindled but when she buckled, he held her back to his chest before he slowly lowered her down to her knees in front of the toilet. Sighing in relief when he heard a small whimper from her lips before her head flopped on the toilet rim and she threw up again.

With a deep breath left Rafael's lips before he kneeled down in the small cubicle with her and gently pulled her hair away from her face.

She didn't look well. Her skin was blotched with sweat and she was burning up and her tired eyes could barely stay open and even though she had been sick, her lips were clearly dry and chapped telling him she hadn't been drinking enough.

It broke Rafael's heart when (Y/n) started to cry mixed with choked breaths when she felt like she could barely breathe at all. If he'd have known she was this bad he wouldn't have gone to the office this morning, he would have stayed home with her and made sure she either ate something or went to the hospital to be checked up because this wasn't good.

"Alright sweetheart, it's okay let it out. I'll talk to Liv and take you to hospital."

(Y/n) didn't want to be like this, she didn't want to be or feel like a burden because she should be able to look after herself and the baby, Rafael shouldn't always have to come to her rescue but it was good that he did. She didn't know where she would be without him.

It took a lot of effort for (Y/n) to push herself away from the toilet and lean back into Rafael but she instantly felt better and relaxed when she leaned into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. She could feel him kissing her damp forehead and muttering something in Spanish against her hair but she couldn't work out what he said, all she could hear was static in her ears. Her head snuggled further into his chest and a murmur vibrated against her throat but she didn't know what she was trying to say.

"What?" Rafael leaned his chest back and tilted his head down to try and look at (Y/n) to work out what she said but his body tensed and his muscles tightened when she went limp against him and her head lolled against his chest. "Oh, sweetheart."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Rafi?"

"How do you feel, Querida?"

(Y/n) leaned into his touch when his hand smoothed over her cheek and he moved to sit on the edge of the bed she appeared to be laying in. She stayed quiet for a few moments, trying to work out what was happening and remember what she was doing before she woke up here.

She could remember throwing up at the precinct and being in the car with Rafael but everything else was made of cotton wool and clogged up in her mind.

"W-what...?" Her hazy vision looked down at her hand but she shuddered when she saw a needle stuck into her vein on the back of her hand connected to a drip. What were they giving her?

"No, no Querida leave it in, please." Rafael was quick to grab both her hands and hold them on his lap to stop her from trying to take out the IV. He couldn't have her rip it out like he'd seen her do before, there would be blood everywhere and it would only serve to hurt her. It was there to get her fluids up and to get the anti-emmetics into her system so she could start to eat properly without throwing everything back up again.

"How long have we been here?"

"About three hours I think. I brought you to the emergency room and they brought you up here, you're on an IV for fluids and some anti sickness meds so you can start to eat soon. They want to keep you in overnight and make sure you actually keep something down before we go."

He hadn't expected her to remember what happened this afternoon, she had seemed very out of sorts the few times she woke up.

He managed to get her in the car with the help of Carisi and she briefly woke up and then again when they were waiting downstairs in the emergency room. When she woke up again when they moved her into this room Rafael had pinned her down so they could put the cathiter in her vein and since then he'd made a few phone calls and waited for her to come back around again.

"I don't want to stay, Rafi, baby please-"

"You can baby me all you want but we're not leaving until they say you're ready." The way he rose his brow and quirked his lips made (Y/n)'s stomach flutter before she suddenly moved both their hands to rest on her tummy. It only now dawned on her that something may have happened or gone wrong with their baby. "The baby's fine." It was as if he could read her mind and see all the worries floating around and he wanted to quell each one to make her feel better.

He would burn the world down if she asked him to.

His smile suddenly softened and (Y/n) could see his eyes glossing over before he leaned closer until theri foreheads were touching.

"They did a quick ultrasound to double check everything was okay... we're having a baby boy, Querida."

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba one shot #imagine #law and order #law and order svu #Olivia Benson #sonny carisi #Amanda Rollins

[storiesofsvu]

Bruised Ego

Rafael Barba x fem!reader Fills the “Be Kind” by Halsey & Mashmello square on @thatesqcrush ‘s vday bingo Warnings: Language, angst.

Letting out a weary sigh you poured what was left of the bottle of wine into your glass, your eyes darting to the rack on top of the fridge to ensure there was a back up one there, it had been a long night. Rafael was late, too late, so late in fact that he’d stood you up. You had the restaurant pack up your order and brought it home figuring you may as well at least be at home if you had to eat alone.

When you first got involved with Rafael you knew he was a busy man, that work kept him doing crazy hours, all nighters, and occasionally sleeping in his office. You were okay with that, you were an independent woman, you valued your own time, you also knew the value that your time had and you weren’t about to share it with someone who didn’t deserve it. Lately, Raf had been falling into that category, hell, today? He was number one on the list of that category.

Usually he’d text, or call, unless he was so wrapped up in work he simply hadn’t realized the time and when your name would flash on his phone he would be a world of apologies. He’d also always make it up to you. You’d gotten used to the occasional failed date, you still loved each other, you moved in together, yet, two years later (to the exact date) you were starting to feel like you weren’t even his second choice anymore.

You sunk back a large gulp of wine, trying to reason with yourself, trying to ignore the part of you that was worried something had happened to him, but you knew if that was the case, Olivia would’ve called. Right as you were about to say fuck it and grab a second bottle of wine you heard his keys in the lock, the door shifting open as your eyes darted to the clock.

“Two thirty a.m? That’s a new record.” You greetly coldly. Rafael glanced up in your direction, the small stumble as he dumped his coat confirmed your suspicion of him being drunk.

“Why’re you still up?”

“You can’t be serious.” You sighed, grabbing the fresh bottle of wine to pour yourself a glass. Your movement brought Rafael’s attention to the dress you still had on, how elegantly you were done up and he silently realized he’d missed your anniversary dinner.

“M’sorry.” He mumbled.

“You’ve been saying that so much recently it’s lost its integrity.” You corked the bottle, taking a swig, “where the hell were you?”

“Working late.”

“Really?” You cocked a brow, “‘cause when I called Carmen at seven she said you never came back after court.”

“We lost the case, I felt horrible…this poor girl”-

“You sure it was the vic and not the bruises on your ego that make you go wild? You realize you get annoying as fuck everytime you take a hit, right?”

“It was a tough case, I just needed to vent, calm down for a bit.”

“So you chose to go out drinking with Olivia rather than attend our anniversary dinner? Chose to ignore your phone? I know it’s hard for you, but it’s not fair! You can’t just stay out all night everytime you have a bad day.”

“I’m sorry. Carino I’m so sorry. Oliva just…understands it in a way you don’t.”

“Because you keep me completely shut out Rafael! If you ever bothered talking to me about your work I’d be able to understand.”

“I don’t want you all wrapped up in that world, you know that! I can make it through without dragging you down with me.”

“Is it that? Is it that you don’t think I can handle the gruesome crimes? Or is that you don’t want to let yourself be vulnerable in front of me?” He balked at that and you knew you’d hit the nail on the head, “I already told you that I’m right here.”

“I don’t need you to baby me!” Great, now he was getting defensive, this was headed in a wonderful direction.

“I’m not trying to baby you Rafael! I’m trying to remind you that I don’t need you to be strong enough for the both of us, you’re allowed to have an emotional side! You’re allowed to break down, even to me, especially to me!”

“You’re saying you don’t need me?”

Selective hearing of course, only hearing what he wanted to, what he could pick an argument with, something to focus in on and ignore the actual root of the problem. Like always.

“Well I’ve been doing pretty damn fine without you these past few weeks.” You shot, taking another sip of wine your eyes began to glass over, your voice softer the next time you spoke, “maybe this isn’t even worth fighting for…”

“Are..are you saying you want to end it?” His entire demeanour shrunk, worry etching across his face as he watched you wipe away a stray tear.

“I’m saying that despite the past two years…you refuse to let me in. Some days I feel like I don’t even know you at all.”

“I love you…”

“Yet you chose to bury yourself at the bottom of a bottle of scotch rather than celebrate our anniversary. You activelyignored me today, and that hurts a hundred times more than just being forgotten about. It doesn’t even feel like I have a boyfriend most days, so why even bother?”

“What about Valentine’s Day?” You nearly snorted at that, gulping back more wine.

“You care more about a commercial holiday than our anniversary, why am I not surprised?”

“But..the Gala…” he protested and your jaw went slack as you shook your head at him.

“I can’t fucking believe you. Here you go again about how your work functions are important enough to never forget, that I have to go to only to be ignored once we’re there? You do realize there’s more to a relationship than being arm candy, right?”

“I’m”-

“Save it.” You glared, standing from the island. “Give me five minutes to change, I’ll sleep in the guest room. We can discuss this when you don’t smell like a distillery.” Swiftly moving past him without a second glance you disappeared into the bedroom, returning to the hall a few minutes later only to vanish into the guest room, the door slamming shut hard enough to make Rafael wince.

Truthfully, when your name flashed across his phone earlier that evening he knew exactly what day it was, he knew what time he was supposed to meet you at the restaurant. The first couple of texts he at least read, the friendly happy reminders to not work too late, that you couldn’t wait to celebrate. Little texts that wouldn’t come off as nagging when they slightly were your way of saying ‘don’t fucking forget this’. He’d checked the time, made a mental note, but continued drinking with Liv and Fin. There was a sense of camaraderie, they all worked the same kind of job, saw the same kind of horrors, they understood it on a different level. Sure, he could have tried to open up to you about it, but he didn’t want to, especially on your anniversary. Before he knew it, it was well past your reservation time and he figured he may as well stay out and keep going until you were hopefully passed out at home.

You were right…he had actively ignored you tonight. Not just forgotten.

*

When you awoke the next morning you weren’t surprised to find the apartment empty, at least Rafael had scheduled the coffee to brew a fresh pot around the time you usually got up on your days off. Your phone had no messages, there wasn’t anything scrawled on the pad on the fridge, it seemed he had given up just as much as you had at this point.

You gulped down the coffee, munching on some toast while you thought over what you wanted to do. Although you already knew what you needed to do, you couldn’t stay in something like this, it wasn’t healthy, for either of you. As much as you loved him, you needed someone who actually showed up, who made your time as valuable as theirs was to you. It was with a heavy sigh that you wiped away a tear, turning back to the bedroom to start to pack up the essentials, you could come back later for anything else.

Raf surprised you by coming home halfway through the day, lunch in hand, potentially as an apology. He stalled at the sight of a couple of bags stacked up in the entrance way, hesitantly calling out into the apartment. You cringed at the sound of his voice, wishing you had a few more hours to prep before having to have this conversation, but it was now or never. Padding down the hallway you emerged into the open kitchen/living room, a slightly nervous expression on your face.

“You…made your choice?” Rafael greeted quietly.

“Uh..yeah.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, “I’m sorry Raf, I really am…but I can’t keep doing this.”

“You don’t have to go…stay in the guest room until you figure things out..maybe we can work through this?”

“No…” your voice wavered, “if I don’t go…we’ll just be reliving this a few months down the road, and it’ll be much worse.”

“Are you sure?” His eyes glazed over, voice shaking slightly at the thought of you turning your back on him to never return.

“Yeah.” You sighed, “I love you Raf, I really do, and I know you have the potential to make a very lucky girl incredibly happy one day, but that girl isn’t me.”

“What if I want it to be?”

“Then it’s too late.” You wiped away a tear you weren’t sure where it came from, “I need more than you’re currently willing to give me and I’m done wasting my time waiting for you to be ready.”

“What…what can I do?” Rafael wasn’t sure at this point if he was asking what would make you change your mind, or what he needed to change in order to have a successful relationship in the future. Though, maybe they were both combined, maybe he’d be able to focus on things enough that he could win you back further down the road. You sighed heavily, leaning against the back of the couch.

“You need to be more present Raf. I get that your job is demanding, and that you suck at remembering things not work related, but a partner deserves their time with you to be spent actually with you. You did a decent job at that during the first few months but it started to slip as you got comfortable, when you were finished with the charming stage, that you knew you had me. You need to keep that going.” He nodded at your words, slowly realizing all the times he’d placed other things in front of you on his to do list, he was starting to wonder why you’d put up with him as long as you had. “But I think the most important thing is that you need to be open…”

“I…thought I was..”

“About us, yes.” You countered, “but I mean about you. You lock everything up inside, you shut everyone out of your emotions when you start to feel down or struggling. You need to be able to talk about that, to cry about it, and when you love someone, you should be able to bare your soul to them. Not shove them aside for a bottle of scotch when all they want is to help you.”

“I’m sorry..” he mumbed.

“I know…” you took a deep breath, “you’ll figure it out someday. You’re a brillliant man Rafael, I know you’ll break down that wall, I’m just sorry it couldn’t have been with me.”

“Me too.” Tears glassed his eyes at the confirmation that it truly was over, mirroring the ones in your own as your phone buzzed.

“That’s Kelly…she’s outside.” You glanced up at him, “you know how she is. It’s probably best if you pretend you’re not here.”

“Of course.”

He dropped the takeout on the counter, urging you to take it with you so it wouldn’t be wasted. Then he made the bold move of pulling you into a hug, though you returned it with just as much tightness. As much as all of this was breaking your heart, there was still a part of you that loved Rafael, that hoped he would learn from this and grow into an incredible partner.

You knew that in the long run, it wouldn’t be you that would be able to help him, but someone would. It stung, having to collect your things from the apartment, to start to build a new life for yourself, but at least this way you weren’t sitting alone getting hurt on the regular basis while you pretended everything was okay.

While Rafael Barba being in your life had been a very important part for those two years, as time went on, you knew it wasn’t endgame. He’d helped you grow, and you could only hope that you’d done the same for him. You both deserved it.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #law and order svu #svu #law and order #rafael barba fanfiction #rafael barba angst #rafael barba one shot

[nygmcbblepot]

RAFAEL BARBA X GENDER NEUTRAL READER 

Writing Prompt #7- “Is that your seventh cup of coffee?”

This is my first short story so please be patient with me <3

Rafael was sitting in his office doing paperwork as you walked in. It was 11:00 PM on a Tuesday night. He had been hugely busy with cases. “I brought take out and a coffee.” On the way there, you had stopped at a new Mexican restaurant that looked (and smelt) amazing. Of course for the coffee you had to stop at his favorite New York coffee shop and order his usual order.You sit his food down on the desk and move over to the couch that he has in the office. You had barely been inside of his office. You had only been there  few times just to drop stuff off. His office was packed with books and was very neat..Other than his desk that was covered in a variety of papers and partially filled trash next to his desk. “ Thank you, mi amor.” Rafael said, picking up his coffee. “When do you think you’ll be home? It feels like I haven’t seen you since last week.” You say eating your food. Rafi looks up from his work,”Y/N, you know I’ve been extremely swamped with all of these new cases.” He sighs and continues doing his work. You missed being able to hang out with him. All he ever did was work.Why couldn’t he just take a small break to spend time with you. For christ sake, you were his partner after all. You craved attention for weeks but he was constantly doing work in his office. You  started taking a closer look around his office and notice a few off things. One of those things being that his waste bin had many of what seemed to be empty cups so you decided to count them. 1…2…3…4…5…6.There were six empty cups of coffee. You knew that had just been todays amount because his trash gets emptied each night. “Hey babe, is that your seventh cup of coffee?” You ask as he nods his head. 

#rafael barba x reader #raúl esparza #svu x reader #rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba one shot #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba fluff #my first story #my first fanfic #writing prompt

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

When universes collide.

Warnings: canon typical violence, reference to Avengers: Infinity War and Endgame and jealous Defender Strange.

A/N: This is a little plot bunny that was racing around in my head and I hope you enjoy it.

Rafael Barba had experienced his fair share of mysteries as an ADA and while he was able to solve some of them; the ones he couldn’t solve haunted him.

The mystery that was currently confounding him was how you dealt with situations where your two lives collided.

The SVU squad all knew about your status as an Avenger. Rafael had been meaning to reach out to you and offer support because he could see how much Thanos’ Snaps had affected you. Every time he tried to talk to you about it, there was either a case the squad needed to deal with or a supernatural crisis that you had to resolve.

Today proved to be no different. Rafael had planned to talk to you before the trial but he’d overslept. Then, when he was in the middle of a cross examination, a multi limbed monster crashed into the courtroom from out of nowhere and began flailing around.

Many people screamed as they processed what was happening. You, Liv and Sonny were among the few who remained somewhat calm. Liv and Sonny hurriedly escorted the people out of the courtroom while you called out to the Judge.

“Do what you need to do, Detective (Surname). Just don’t make a mess.” He shouted as he too was escorted out of the courtroom.

At that moment, three men stepped out of a large, golden circle that also appeared out of thin air. Two of the men looked uncannily similar; the only difference between them was that one had a ponytail and the robes they wore.

“What’s your plan?” One of the men barked. With a jolt, Rafael realised that it was Doctor Stephen Strange who had spoken.

“Containment spell mixed with a deaging and shrinking spell,” you yelled back. You lit up your hands with magic and the men did the same. Moments later, your spell slammed into the monster. A clear prism formed around it and as it shrunk, so did the monster until the monster had shrunk to a miniature size.

Rafael identified the moment the spell ended. The small monster zoomed into your grasp and you gazed at it almost fondly.

“You know, when it’s not striking out with its limbs, it’s kind of cute.”

“You are not keeping it as a pet. It could be dangerous in ways we don’t know about.”

You unwillingly handed the monster to Stephen, who grasped it gingerly.

“Wong will fill you in. I’ll go put this back.” Stephen disappeared in a whirl of colour.

“We must depart.” The man named Wong stated gruffly. “At Kamar-Taj, we can begin to unravel the mystery that brought this Stephen to our world.”

Rafael’s jaw dropped open, “Two Stephen Stranges? This world can barely handle one.”

Rafael’s eyes met yours. He wanted you to reassure him that it’d be okay; that you wouldn’t be walking into something you weren’t prepared for. The more rational side of him knew that you couldn’t realistically promise that.

“The Judge’ll be impressed. The courtroom is minimally damaged.”

The other Strange moved to stand opposite you, blocking Rafael’s view of you and ensuring you focused on him.

“The longer I stay here, the greater the probability that a tear in the multiverse occurs and destroys both our worlds.”

Rafael heard you exhale heavily.

“Tell Liv and Sonny…”

“I will,” Rafael promised, knowing what you were going to say. Despite his desire for answers, he knew that he’d have to wait to get them.

A third portal appeared and you stepped through it. Rafael caught a glimpse of an old building before the visiting Stephen shifted to face him. There was something chilling in his gaze, like a warning to Rafael to stay away from this part of your life because he would not be able to understand it.

Then the portal closed and Rafael was left standing in the courtroom alone.

#my writing #my fics #law and order svu x marvel #female reader #rafael barba #stephen strange #olivia benson #defender strange #sonny carisi #defender strange x reader #rafael barba x reader #reader is an avenger and detective #maybe this a one shot #who knows

[whoevrwhatevr]

For @generousobservationkryptonite’s barisi advent calendar 🥰 Day 5 - Sonny & Rafael find themselves the last ones remaining at the holiday party

#barisi #barisi fanfic #ao3 fanfics #they’re in love your honor #wake up besties new fanfic just dropped #barisi holiday advent calendar #barisi holiday advent 2023 #rafael barba #rafael x sonny #sonny carisi #short one shot

[fatecantstopme]

Better Together

Pairing: Rafael Barba x reader

Summary: Barba acts like he hates you because it's the only way he can keep his cool in your presence. Things come to a head and you call him out on it...

Warnings: cursing, Rafael is a bit of a dick at first. Use of nicknames (baby, cariño, querida, etc.). SMUT, oral (M and F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V)

A/N: Spanish translations in brackets/italics after each sentence.

cariño/querida: sweetheart/dear/darling/baby/etc.

por favor: please

qué: what

hermosa: beautiful/gorgeous

"Right...and what makes you qualified to make that determination?"

You glared at him. "Eight years of education and ten years of practice."

"Fine, but how long did you actually talk to him?" he countered.

"Four hours."

"So now you're an expert in his mental health?"

You groaned. "He belongs in a psychiatric facility, Barba. Not a prison."

"I disagree. He raped and murdered five women."

"I'm not defending his actions, but I'm telling you he's incapable of understanding the consequences of his actions."

"She's right, counselor," Olivia Benson cut in. "I got the same feeling she did when I first talked to him."

Rafael Barba let out an annoyed huff. "Fine. What do you propose?"

"Offer him a deal," she suggested. "Send him where he can get the help he needs."

Barba nodded, expression still slightly annoyed. "Fine." With that, he walked out of the precinct, presumably to go write up a deal.

As soon as he was out of ear shot, you turned to your friend and colleague. "He argues with me for ten minutes straight, but you tell him the same damn thing and he immediately agrees?"

Olivia shrugged. "You know how he is."

"Pompous, arrogant, rude, and downright insulting?"

She laughed. "All of the above, but he's also a pretty damn good ADA."

You sighed. "I would absolutely love to disagree with you, but you're not wrong. Part of me hates that he's so good at his job. And I hate his smug face and his attitude and those damn three piece suits he looks so goddamn good in," you finished your ramble with a groan.

"Maybe if you told him you thought he was hot, he'd be nicer to you," Olivia said with a wink.

"I hate you."

She laughed. "No you don't."

"Fine, I don't, but I will do no such thing. He quite clearly despises me."

"Does he?"

"Does who what?" Nick Amaro asked as he entered the squad room.

"Does Barba hate (Y/N)?" Olivia asked.

Nick chuckled. "Without a doubt."

"See?!" you said smugly.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "One of these days you're going to have to talk to him. Tell him off for being such an ass to you all the time."

"Now that I agree with," Nick cut in.

"If he pushes the right buttons, I will."

**********

Little did you know that two days later, Barba would push the exact right button.

Olivia, Nick, Amanda, Fin, and yourself were gathered in the squad room discussing your latest case. You had two dead girls in two days and 1PP was already breathing down your necks.

You were going over the profile with the team when Barba walked in. "I know it sounds crazy, guys, but I believe the perp is a girl...probably the same age as the victims."

"Why?" Fin asked.

As you started to explain your reasoning, to include the lack of sexual assault, the relationship between the two girls, and the anger clearly present in the attacks, Barba cut you off with a harsh laugh.

"You think a 10 year old girl is capable of inflicting that kind of trauma?" he interjected. "There's no way."

You took a deep breath in through your nose and exhaled from your mouth before responding. You needed those ten seconds to calm yourself so you didn't murder him. "Were you ever a 10 year old girl?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Obviously not."

"Are you a forensic psychologist?"

"Again, no."

"Have you been working violent sex crimes for 10 years?"

"No..."

"Then be quiet and listen," you finished harshly.

You'd never snapped at him quite so intensely before and he was taken aback. He was also very aware that he may have taken it a little too far this time. He'd made it a point to keep you at arm's length (or farther) for the past 6 months, and he was belatedly realizing he may have been too cruel.

You finished your profile, answering the questions posed by the rest of the squad, before everyone went about their assigned duties.

Barba announced he was going back to his office to update the DA and you were thankful to be rid of him.

"Maybe you were right, (Y/N)," Olivia said softly. "He either hates you or he hates shrinks."

"Likely both."

"I'm proud of you for clapping back," Amanda said warmly. "Someone's gotta put that guy in his place every once in a while."

You smiled mirthlessly. "Once this case is over, I may have more to say to him, but for now, let's focus on finding the person who killed those girls."

**********

Three days later and you had your suspect in custody. You'd been right in your assessment of the perp...it turned out to be a 10 year old girl who had been relentlessly teased and bullied by the two victims for an entire year. The girl finally snapped and killed them both in a blind rage.

After hearing all of the terrible things that had been done to her, you felt sorry for the girl. You understood why she'd killed those girls, even if you didn't condone it.

"Hey, (Y/N/N)," Fin called. "We're going out for drinks. My treat."

"I think I'll take a rain check guys...I've got something I need to do."

"Awww no fun," Amanda teased.

Olivia gave you a look, but you smiled at her reassuringly. She took it to mean you were okay, so she followed the others out.

You'd decided to pay a very special visit to a certain ADA...

You arrived at his office 20 minutes later, and you belatedly realized you probably should have checked to see if he was even there still. It was already after 6pm, but you hoped since he was a workaholic, he would be unaware of the late hour.

When you reached his office door, you found yourself taking a deep breath. You started to question yourself and whether this was a good idea, but then you thought about the way he'd been treating you and you got a burst of courage.

You knocked on his door and waited. You heard a slightly annoyed "Come in", so you opened the door and stepped into his office.

Barba looked up from the paperwork he was buried in, a look of surprise ghosting over his face. "Dr. (Y/L/N)...to what do I owe the pleasure?"

You shut the door behind you and took a step towards his desk. "Do you have a problem with me?"

"Excuse me?" he asked in surprise.

"Do you have a problem with me, specifically, or is it psychologists in general?"

"I don't have a problem with psychologists."

"So it's me, got it. Do you mind telling me what the hell I did to you?"

He had the grace to look sheepish. "You didn't do anything to me."

"Then why do you treat me like I'm some sort of imbecile?"

"I...I never intended to make you feel that way," he said honestly.

"Really? How did you intend to make me feel? You belittle me, insult my abilities and my intelligence, you're unnecessarily rude to me in front of my colleagues..." you trailed off.

He rose from his seat and came around the front of his desk. His expression was unreadable, but his shoulders had slumped slightly. If you didn't know better, you'd think he actually felt bad for the way he'd been treating you.

"You're right," he admitted. "I have treated you entirely unfairly."

It was your turn to look surprised. Out of all the things you'd expected him to say, an admission of guilt was certainly not one of them.

"I don't want you to think, for even a moment, that I don't think you're brilliant. You are the sharpest woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and you're downright phenomenal at your job."

You opened your mouth and closed it a few times before you could formulate a coherent response. "How in the hell was I supposed to know that?"

He blushed and cast his gaze to the floor. "I suppose there was no way for you to know, given the way I've treated you."

"Why, then?" you asked softly.

He sighed deeply and ran his hand over his face. "It's--complicated."

"Enlighten me, Barba. I've got time."

His green eyes raised back up to meet yours and you found yourself nearly breathless--and not for the first time. His eyes were beautiful, typically sparkling with whit and mischief; but in this moment, they shone with emotions so complex you couldn't begin to comprehend them.

"I never intended to be cruel to you, only distant. But I found that being aloof wasn't enough to keep you at bay--I needed something stronger. So...I started treating you as if I hated you. It was just easier, and perhaps safer."

"Safer?"

He nodded, but neglected to clarify. "Keeping you out of my life has become a necessity, Dr. (Y/L/N)."

His formality annoyed you, but you didn't comment on it. "Then why didn't you just tell me you didn't like me?"

He groaned and turned back to his desk to pour himself a glass of scotch. "Because it's not true, and I'm many things, but a liar isn't one of them."

"Okay, but you want nothing to do with me?"

"Exactly."

"You do understand how contradictory that sounds, correct?"

He took a long drink from his glass and leaned back against his desk. "It sounds moronic, yes, I am aware."

You debated your next words with care. You knew if you said what was on your mind, you might regret it, but you also knew if you didn't say it, you would regret it.

"When I met you, I was instantly intrigued by you," you began. "It was obvious you were highly intelligent, but you were also funny, charming, and impeccably well-dressed. It's a rare combination."

You crossed your arms and sighed. "At first, you were friendly and I quite liked you, but things between us turned icy in an instant. I didn't understand it then and I don't understand it now, but what I can tell you is it hurt me. It hurt me deeply, Barba, and it still does."

If he'd felt like an ass before, he felt 1,000 times worse now. "I never intended to hurt you," he said quietly. "You're a kind and loving soul...and you don't deserve to be treated the way I've been treating you."

"You're right," you whispered. "I don't."

He winced slightly and downed the rest of his scotch. "I am truly sorry, (Y/N). More than you'll ever know."

His use of your first name was not lost on you. You could count on one hand the number of times he'd said it and you'd reacted the same way each time. Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, your breath caught, and your heart began to speed up.

Rafael had never noticed before...had never really paid attention to you the very few times he'd said your name, but he saw your reaction this time. For the first time since he'd met you, he began to wonder if you shared his feelings...

You quickly recovered yourself--praying he hadn't noticed. "I appreciate your apology." Your voice was slightly off pitch and you wanted to kick yourself for letting any emotion show.

"May I ask you something?" he said suddenly.

You nodded, not trusting your voice in the moment.

"You said what you thought of me when we first met--what do you think of me now?"

"Do you really want to know?"

He nodded.

You swallowed thickly. "Everything I said is true. You're a brilliant man and an even better lawyer...and you can be funny and charming, when you want to be. But that's not the Rafael Barba I get. I get the one reserved for the criminals and defense attorneys you dislike. The ones that make your skin crawl. You're pompous, arrogant, and cruel."

He closed his eyes tightly. Hearing you say what you really thought of him was much more painful than he'd anticipated.

"But I don't believe that's who you really are," you said so softly he almost didn't hear.

He looked back up at you in surprise.

"I think it's a facade you put up--a mask you wear to hide behind."

"What makes you think that?"

"Call it intuition, or perhaps training," you said with a shrug. "Either way, I am certain you really are the man I met in the beginning--not the man you've been the past several months."

"How could you have that much faith in me? After the way I've treated you..."

"Perhaps it's foolish...or maybe I just want it to be true."

He stared at you with a strange look on his face. It was as if he was trying to decide if you were playing him or being sincere. His expression slowly morphed as he realized you'd meant every word you'd said.

"May I be honest with you?" he asked.

"I want nothing less."

"Truthfully, I'm terrified of you. Absolutely, 100%, completely terrified."

Your jaw dropped slightly. Once again, he’d caught you off guard.

"You got under my skin the moment I met you and I haven't been able to get rid of you since. I've never felt like this--like I can't control my own actions or my emotions--and it's petrifying. I thought pushing you away would change how I felt, but it only intensified it. I think that's why I became crueler over time--I was angry at myself and angry with you for making me feel this way. It's not fair to you, I know, but it's the truth."

You were once again shocked to the core. You almost couldn't believe what you were hearing...if you weren't so good at reading people, you'd be convinced he was lying, but as it stood, you knew it was the raw, painful truth.

"You can't control everything, you know," you said quietly.

He laughed harshly. "God, how I wish I could."

"What are you so afraid of?"

He took a moment to answer, but once he did, the words poured out of him. "I'm afraid the way I feel about you will ruin both of our careers. I'm afraid that once you see the man behind the mask, you'll run and leave me broken. I'm afraid that we'll fall apart...that we won't stand the test of time. I'm afraid of falling so deeply in love with you that I lose myself completely. But most of all, I'm afraid that I've already screwed this up beyond repair."

For all your education and all the eloquent words you've learned in your lifetime, you found yourself stunned into complete and utter silence. No words came to mind, no coherent thoughts emerged. You stared at him and he stared at you, as the silence dragged on.

After what had to be an eternity, Rafael spoke again. "Please say something. Anything. Tell me you hate me. Tell me you never want to see my face again. Tell me you'd rather jump off a building than be with me--"

"Stop!" The intensity of your demand silenced him. "Just stop talking…I…I can't find the words I want to say, but I do know one thing: I'm not afraid."

Out of all the things you could have said, all the beautiful sentences you could have strung together, those three words were the perfect response. Fueled with sudden courage, Rafael crossed the space between the two of you in three long strides, coming to a stop a few inches from you.

With a shaking hand, he gently stroked your cheek. "May I?" he asked quietly.

Your pretty (y/e/c) eyes met his and you softly begged, "Please."

He leaned into you, lips pressing against yours with soft insistence. The kiss ignited something within you--a desire so deep and powerful it almost frightened you. You grabbed ahold of his suspenders and tugged his body closer to yours as you deepened the kiss.

Rafael moaned softly against your lips, tongue pressing forward, requesting access. You obliged, lips parting to allow him entry. His hands traveled down your soft curves until they landed on your hips. He used his gentle strength to pull you flush against him, his own body backed up against his desk to support him.

You could feel his need for you in his kiss, in his touch...and in his pants. His growing erection was pressed against you, so close to where you wanted him, yet so far away.

Rafael broke the kiss for a moment. "Carmen left for the day."

"Mhmm," you hummed in response.

"But I don't want our first time together to be on the couch in my office."

"How 'bout the desk?" you teased lightly.

He groaned. "Don't think I haven't imagined it, but I'd like to take you home...do this properly--in a bed."

You stared at him for a moment. "If we stay here, it can be casual, unassuming. If I go home with you...that changes everything."

"I don't want casual. I don't want a fling. I want you--and everything that comes along with that."

You studied him closely before responding. You noted the sincerity in his voice and his expression and decided to--for once--allow your heart to lead your decision. "Take me home, Rafael," you whispered.

He breathed deeply, as if trying to control himself. It appeared that you had the same effect on him as he did on you when you called him by his first name.

He didn't say a word--you weren't even sure he could have if he'd wanted to. He simply grabbed his jacket, took your hand, and practically dragged you to the elevator. Once outside, he hailed a cab and helped you into the backseat before sliding in beside you.

As the cab began to move, you rested your hand on Rafael's thigh. He glanced at you, but didn't say anything. You were feeling bold, so you slid your hand slowly up his thigh, inching closer to his evident arousal.

When your fingertips brushed against his clothed cock, he hissed slightly. He leaned over to whisper into your ear so the cab driver wouldn't hear. "Careful, querida. O puedo perder el control [Or I may lose control]."

You inhaled sharply--something about his tone mixed with the hushed Spanish words, sent a jolt of pure arousal straight to your core.

Your reaction didn't go unnoticed by Rafael. He smirked as he discovered one of your kinks. He tucked the knowledge away for later use.

You managed to behave yourself for the rest of the short ride to his apartment, but once inside the building, all bets were off.

His lips were on yours the moment the elevator doors slid closed, pressing your body firmly against the wall. Your fingers tangled in his hair, messing up the perfect locks.

As the elevator dinged and the doors began to open, you reluctantly pulled away from each other. You saw the desperation in his beautiful green eyes and you knew the same look reflected in yours.

He wasted no time guiding you to his apartment and the moment you were both inside, he had you spun around and pressed up against the door.

“Querida,” he whispered hungrily against your lips, fingertips dancing under your shirt.

You moaned softly as you tugged harshly on his suspenders, pushing them out of the way so you could remove his shirt.

Within moments, your clothes and his were strewn across the house as he carried you to his bedroom, nothing left between you but underwear.

Rafael tossed you gently onto the bed before climbing on top of you. He eyed you hungrily—sprawled out beneath him, desire evident on your face.

“You are perfect, hermosa.”

You blushed. “Rafa…”

He groaned. “Fuck. Don’t do that.”

Confusion clouded your expression. You didn’t think you’d done anything wrong…

He’d closed his eyes and his face gave away the internal struggle he was experiencing.

Realization suddenly crossed your features and you grinned. You gently raked your nails down his chest as you murmured the nickname again, “Rafa.”

His eyes shot open and he rutted his hips against yours, mouth pressing wet kisses to your heated skin. His teeth nipped at your neck and collarbone, leaving love bites in his wake.

He was taking his time with you. Wanting to explore every part of you, taste every inch of your skin, catalogue every detail in his mind.

You whimpered softly, not used to such attention, nor such deliberate slowness. “Rafael, please.”

He looked up at you with his trademark smirk. “You ever been with a Hispanic man before, Cariño?”

You blushed and shook your head.

His smirk widened. “We like to take our time, make sure our lady is properly loved and appreciated. This is about your enjoyment, (Y/N/N), not mine.”

“I want you to enjoy yourself too…”

He kissed you gently. “You keep making those pretty sounds for me, querida, and I promise you, I’ll enjoy myself.”

You found yourself unable to respond as he continued his slow descent towards your core. Each gentle caress of his lips against your skin seemed to set your nerve endings on fire--the need within you growing exponentially.

You whined prettily, hips shifting upwards, desperately seeking his lips where you needed them most. "Please," you begged.

You didn't know it yet, but Rafael would never deny you--not in the real world, nor the bedroom. The moment he heard your soft voice begging, he glanced up at your face. You already looked so far gone--your hair was a mess, your lips swollen, your cheeks flushed, and your breathing was ragged. He smiled to himself as he lowered his head, giving you no time to adjust as he dove into you with abandon.

You gasped as the pleasure threatened to overwhelm you. As skilled as the man between your legs was in the courtroom, he was even better suited with his mouth hungrily devouring you.

In the span of mere minutes, he'd turned you into a gasping, moaning mess--every one of your senses overwhelmed with feeling.

"Rafa--I--I'm close," you gasped.

He hummed against you, lips wrapping around your clit to increase his assault. His fingers dug into the flesh of your hips, holding you in place as he sped up his ministrations.

Your jaw dropped as a flurry of sounds--some of which were intended to be his name--slipped from your lips. Your orgasm sent wave after wave of intense pleasure through your body, but that pleasure soon turned to sensitivity.

"Rafa, too much--" you whispered as you tried to pull away from him.

He laid his arm across your lower belly, effectively holding you in place as his mouth continued to work you. His eyes flicked up to yours to check if you really did want him to stop, but your head was already thrown back, chest rising and falling rapidly as the familiar knot tightened in your stomach.

The moment your cries turned to moans and pleas to continue, Rafael stopped and lifted his head. "Did you want me to stop, querida?"

"No!" you cried loudly, fingers grasping his hair in an attempt to guide him back where you wanted him.

He smirked as he complied with your direction, lips and tongue once again sending you into a spiral of pleasure you'd never experienced before.

As you came down from your second high, Rafael finally slowed his assault and allowed you to pull his head up when it became too much.

He placed soft kisses against your heated skin, gently soothing you as the aftershocks shuddered through your body. His lips traced the curves of your face with gentle affection until your breathing had begun to normalize.

Rafael kissed you deeply, desire evident in the action. In response, your hand slowly descended down his chest and abdomen, until you reached his throbbing cock. You lightly ran your nails across the still clothed member, enticing a groan from the man above you.

You teased him for a few more seconds before sliding your hand beneath his boxer briefs and palming his cock in your warm hand. He groaned loudly--hips rutting against your hand instantly.

"I wanna taste you," you murmured against the shell of his ear.

"You don't have to..." he said softly.

There was something in his voice that caused you to pull away so you could see his face properly. He looked worried and perhaps a little apprehensive.

"But I want to," you reassured him.

"You do?"

You nodded. "It's something I enjoy very much, Rafa, so if you're okay with it, I would really like to suck your cock."

His eyes closed briefly and he moaned softly, forehead dropping against yours. "Por favor," he begged in a broken voice.

You grinned ear to ear. "Stand up."

"Qué?" he asked in confusion.

You nudged him gently and tilted your head towards the edge of the bed. "Stand up, handsome."

He did as you asked and watched in surprise as you lowered yourself to your knees on the floor in front of him. He felt like he needed to remind you again that you didn't need to do this for him, but when he saw the hunger in your eyes, he fell silent.

You slowly dragged his underwear down, freeing his cock from its constraints. You were a little surprised by his size--he was longer than average and quite thick--but surprise quickly turned to hunger.

You looked up at him, a playful smirk dancing on your lips, and all his worries faded away. It was obvious you wanted this...perhaps just as much as he did.

You wasted no time in wrapping your mouth around his cock, taking as much of him into your mouth as you could, eyes never leaving his face.

You gagged slightly as he hit the back of your throat, but you pushed past it, determined to provide him with as much pleasure as you could muster.

As you began to move, his fingers intertwined in your hair and his hips stuttered forwards occasionally. You knew what he needed, but it was clear he wasn't going to do it without some prodding.

You pulled off of him with a *pop* and waited until his heavily lidded eyes met yours. "Rafael, I want you to enjoy this."

"I am, cariño," he said in confusion.

"Not as much as you could be." You licked the tip of his cock for emphasis and his hips jumped slightly. "I want you to use my mouth for your own pleasure, Rafa. That's what it's there for."

He shook his head rapidly. He'd been expressly told not to do that by several women before you.

You rubbed his thighs reassuringly. "I want this, baby. Please," you begged. "Please fuck my mouth."

The moment the words were out of your mouth, you sucked his cock back into the warmth of your lips, hoping he would take you seriously. You pressed yourself forward, pushing past the gag reflex to take his entire member into your mouth.

Without hesitation, you began to guide his hips, urging him to give in and take what he wanted--what he needed.

You flicked your gaze up to meet his and nodded your head as best you could, hands still encouraging him to move. He very tentatively began to move his hips and you smiled, fingers digging into his thighs.

When you didn't pull away, he started to put a little more force into the movements. When you still didn't pull away, he sped up, fingers wrapping in your hair to keep you still.

You let him take control, eyes still trained on his face. He slowly began to thrust in earnest, fucking your mouth like it was his favorite place to be. You watched his head fall back, moans of intense pleasure leaving his lips.

You held onto him and focused on breathing as you let him use you. A few minutes passed before his hips began to stutter and you knew he was close.

You prepared to swallow everything he had to give you, but he surprised you by pulling away, your mouth coming off of him with a *pop*.

His breathing was ragged and his eyes were wild--pupils blocking out the brilliant green. "I need you," he said, voice raw and husky.

You understood his meaning and quickly crawled back onto the bed. He was on top of you almost immediately, lips latching onto your neck, teeth nipping at your flesh.

His cock rubbed against the outside of your pussy and you both groaned.

"Fuck," he mumbled. "Do I need a condom?"

"Pill," you gasped as you shook your head. "Wanna feel you fill me up, Rafa."

He let out a low growl and his eyes turned even more feral. He gave you no warning as he plunged his cock deep inside of you, stretching you in ways you'd never been stretched before.

"Rafael!" you cried out at the sensation.

Normally he would have forced himself to give you time to adjust, but his mind was too far gone. He set a brutal pace almost instantly and you were simply along for the ride.

There were so many new sensations that you were having a hard time staying focused. Everything just felt so incredible.

Your pussy throbbed around him, pulling him in even deeper. "Te sienetes muy bien, querida." [You feel so good, sweetheart.]

You moaned loudly, nails digging into his back as you arched against him.

"Te gusta cuando te hablo español, ¿no?" he growled into your ear. [You like it when I speak Spanish to you, don't you?"]

"Yes!" you gasped.

"Chica sucia," he chuckled darkly. [Dirty girl.]

"Rafa, please--I'm so close."

He groaned. "Quiero que vengas conmigo, cariño," he mumbled. [I want you to cum with me, sweetheart.] "Can you do that for me?" he asked in English.

You nodded your head rapidly.

"Esa es mi buena chica," he praised. [That's my good girl.]

You moaned lowly, preening at his praise. He smiled and picked up his pace, not wanting to stop until he felt you fall apart. "So close," he mumbled.

"Don't--stop!"

He knew you were close--could tell by the way your pussy fluttered around him--so he whispered, "Cum for me, baby."

You cried out as your orgasm hit you with more force than either of the two you'd had earlier. Rafael groaned your name as he spilled his seed within you, filling you up as your walls milked him dry.

You both began to come down from your highs, the intensity of your orgasms taking the wind out of both of you. Rafael pulled out and collapsed beside you, completely spent and satiated.

"That was pretty decent," you said between breaths.

He snapped his head in your direction and started to laugh when he saw the mischief in your eyes.

You grinned and joined in on his laughter, allowing him to wrap his arms around you and pull you closer to him.

"Very decent," he muttered against your hair.

You laughed again. "'Fucking incredible' would be a more accurate description."

"I couldn't agree more." He sighed softly. "I don't wanna move."

"Who says we have to?"

"We probably should...we do have work in the morning after all."

Your body tensed slightly and he felt it, realizing how his previous statement may have sounded. "I want you to stay, querida. I'm just saying we should probably get up and shower before we fall asleep."

You relaxed. "You may have to carry me."

He chuckled and dragged himself out of bed, pulling you along with him. He scooped you up despite your protests and carried you to the bathroom, placing you on the counter while he started the shower.

"I was kidding, Rafa!"

He smiled. "If my girl can walk immediately after sex, then I did something wrong. I'm always happy to carry you."

You smiled back at him, realizing he was completely serious. You watched him quietly, completely lost in thought.

"Where's your mind, querida?" he asked softly.

You shook your head, clearing your thoughts. "I'm happy...that's all."

Rafael kissed you gently. "Me too, hermosa. Now come on, let's get you cleaned up."

Once you were both clean and dry, he carried you back to his bed and laid you down gently before crawling into the bed beside you. He tugged you in closely against his chest and you sighed contentedly.

"Go to sleep, cariño. I'll be here in the morning when you wake up."

Somehow he seemed to know exactly what you needed to hear. Knowing he wasn't going anywhere and feeling his strong arms wrapped around you, allowed you to feel a calm peace you'd not felt in years.

Within minutes, you'd drifted off to sleep in his arms. Just before he fell asleep too, Rafael kissed the top of your head and whispered, "Te adoro con locura." [I adore you madly.]

#rafael barba x reader smut #rafael barba x reader #barba x reader #rafael barba smut #law and order svu #law and order svu smut

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

Kinktober Day 8

Day Seven | 🌹Kinktober Masterlist🌹 | Day Nine

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Rating: Explicit - 18+ Only. Any minors interacting with ANY of these Kinktober prompts will be blocked.

Warnings: Cockwarming; restraints; spanking; impact play; Dom/Brat dynamics; choking; rough sex; oral sex; vaginal sex; cum shot; cum play

Your thighs ached where they were stretched across Rafael’s lap in a straddle. Your hands hooked together behind his back, your arms curled around his shoulders. You had only just managed to lull yourself into focusing on your breathing, not in the feeling of him tucked between your thighs.

Oh—no. The reminder made your pussy throb around him, your body going warm with muted embarrassment. He gave a questioning hum at the feeling, and you shook your head just a little, your chin making a soft shushing noise as it brushed against his shirt and suspenders.

"Sorry," You mumbled. "Won't happen again."

"Yes it will." He didn't say it meanly, and you didn't take it meanly, either. It was just a fact. It happened every time you did this. It was an inevitability.

"You alright?" He added.

"Mhm."

"Your legs asleep?"

"Mmm..." You curled your toes, giving your legs a gentle swing. Your legs felt strained; your thigh was beginning to cramp just a little. "Getting there."

"Color?"

"Green," You insisted, crushing your body closer against his. Rafael chuckled softly. You heard him turn a page, felt his arms shift against your sides as he took up a pen and returned to his work.

"Alright," He soothed before he fell silent again, refocusing on his work. You took in a deep breath, letting your eyes slide closed. Just focus on your breathing. Focus on your breathing, and not on the warm body pressed up against you. Focus on your breathing, and not on the feeling of his breath against your bare shoulder. Focus on your breathing, and not on the—

You bit your lip, fighting back a whimper as you felt Rafael's cock hardening.

"Rafa," You mumbled weakly.

"I can't help it," He purred, nuzzling into your neck as he lowered a hand to rest on your lower back. "You're being so good for me."

Your cunt clutched around him again, and you gave an experimental roll of your hips, but Rafael tutted softly, stilling you.

"Did I tell you to move?"

You pouted as you sagged into him.

"No," You grumbled.

"So what exactly do you think you're doing?"

"...Alleviating a leg cramp?"

"You're an awful liar."

"Am not."

"Are you sure you want to start down that road?"

If you wanted to cum, the right answer was no. If you wanted to annoy Rafael, the right answer was yes. And sure, you'd been on his lap for nearly two hours, but Rafael had come home early just to burrow into his office to work. What else were you supposed to do, just wait for him to be finished? 

"I'm waiting," He added. Ugh, he was so impatient. Damnit, you wanted to cum so badly, and if you just kept your mouth shut—

You leaned back, your body almost syrupy as you shifted fully for the first time in two hours. You fixed Rafael with a stern gaze as you propped your elbows up on the desk behind you, arching a brow. Rafael's expression remained neutral, but you could see the twinkling of mirth in his warm, dark eyes. As good as his poker face was, he couldn't seem to resist trailing his eyes covetously over your naked body, drifting over your breasts, his tongue darting out over his lips as his gaze settled on where the two of you were joined.

"I am not an awful liar," You insisted.

"Sweetheart, if I got you in front of a grand jury, they would vote to indict."  

"On being a shitty liar?"

"Mhm."

"Evidence?"

"This, right now, right here."

"Not enough to build a case."

"You want me to establish a pattern?"

"I would love for you to, but you have jack shit, Barba."

"When I asked you who ate the last yogurt last week?"

"We only thought it was the last one. You found another behind the eggs."

"You still pretended that you hadn't eaten what we thought was the last one."

"Because I knew, deep down, that it was not."

"Deep down isn't going to be enough for a jury."

"Neither is this weak sauce."

"Fine. Your cousin's engagement."

"Expand on that."

"You told your cousin that you had no idea when she was being proposed to—"

"Right."

"That you hadn't seen a ring—"

"Correct."

"And knew of no plans that her boyfriend had."

"Correct."

"All lies."

"Yes, but all lies for a greater good. And, may I add, all convincing lies. She had no idea that it would happen and thanked me for keeping the secret once she knew the truth. Your case isn't holding water here, Barba."

"Really."

"Swiss cheese. Full'a holes."

"Tell me this, then."

"Mm?"

"Is your leg still cramping?"

You bit down on the inside of your cheek, keeping your gaze steadily on Rafael's.

"Maybe."

"It's a yes or no question."

"Ish."

“Yes. Or. No.” 

Your smile widened as you feel Rafael’s cock twitch inside of you. 

“Is this turning you on, Mr. Barba?” You shifted against the desk, giving a subtle roll of your hips as you did. He groaned lowly, hands raising to grasp your hips and still at you. You grinned as his nails dug into your skin. 

“You are wading into dangerous territory, little girl.”

“Little girl,” You repeated with a chuckle. “You are pissed off.” 

“I’m supposed to be working.”

“You’ve been working all day, and now you’re dreaming up my imaginary indictment. That is a lot of work.” 

Rafael didn’t answer for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly. 

“You told your niece that she couldn’t have any of your ‘grape juice’ when it was not in fact grape juice,” He offered.

“Doing the opposite would’ve classed as endangerment.”

“You cheated on your high school spanish final.” 

“I told you that in confidence. And besides, I got away with it. I am an amazing liar….Which is not to say that I was lying to you earlier.” 

“I don’t believe you.” Rafael’s hands snaked around your back, thumbs sweeping tenderly over the base of your spine. 

“Well, I can’t help that. So?” You wriggled in his lap. Rafael’s smile widened before he slid his hand back around, slapping your hip. 

“Get back in position.” 

Your smile fell swiftly, brow furrowing. 

“But I thought—”

“You thought wrong.” 

“You’re not playing fair.” 

“Yes, I am.” 

“Rafa—” 

“You know the rules—” 

“Oh, come on—”

“And you know the consequences.” 

You did know, and the reminder made your skin tingle. You were already set for a walloping for moving without his permission. You weren’t sure what you’d get for mouthing off—you didn’t think you’d even have to atone for that one tonight. Knowing Rafael, he’d have you writing lines on nightly for a week. It was one of his favorite punishments, and you were certain that it was because he knew how much you disliked it. 

If you leaned back into Rafael now, your punishment would probably be fairly minimal—but not an absolute zero. You’d already committed two indiscretions. You swallowed thickly before you shrugged, giving your hips a blatant shove against his. 

“Care to refresh my memory, counselor?” 

-- 

“Hands behind your back.” 

The order was chased by the clanking of his belt buckle, and a hand nudging you toward his bed. You knelt up on the bed, tucking your hands behind your back, a thrill running through you as you felt the leather being looped, then tightened around them. He gave you another push, bending you forward onto the sheets. You rested your head against them, biting your lip as Rafael smoothed his hand up over your bare backside, then rested a steadying hand on your lower back. You could feel him watching you, waiting for you to call it off. He always gave you a little grace period when things were headed toward the rougher side. 

“Color?” He asked.

“Green.”

You’d hardly gotten the word out before Rafael’s hand came down on your backside with a deafening crack! Your eyes slipped shut, mouth falling open as you leaned into the sting. 

“Count,” Rafael ordered, sliding his hand over the heated flesh. You swallowed thickly, managing to croak out, “One,” just before the second blow fell. You shivered, feeling his fingers brush against your flushed cunt as he drew away. 

“Two.” 

Rafael leveled blow after blow after blow, giving you just moments to catch your breath and count aloud before his hand doled out its punishment again. By the time you reached twenty-four, you could hear Rafael panting behind you. He drew in a deep breath, murmuring, “One more.” 

“Yes.” 

The hand came down, bypassing your hot, tender ass, and landing across your plumped, slick pussy. You yowled, turning your head to quiet some of the sound as your cunt throbbed, sending a ripple of pleasurable pain through you. Fuck, the bastard knew what he was doing. 

“Twenty-five,” You finally mumbled, tongue thick and heavy in your mouth. You heard a thud and glanced back just enough to see Rafael on his knees. He grasped your hips, tugging you back until your legs dangled off of the bed. He dove in, tongue laving your slick opening. You whimpered at the hot slide, at the feeling of him moaning against you. He leaned back and spat, trailing his fingers through your juices before replacing his tongue. You could hear the filthy sound of him grasping his cock, jerking it as he feasted on your pussy. 

“Rafa,” You mumbled, pushing your hips back against him. “I need you inside me—Fuck, fuck that feels so—mm…”

You glanced back as Rafael drew away, standing. His hair had sprung from his neat coif, a few strands bowing over his forehead as he grasped his cock. He caught your eye, holding your gaze as he thrust into you . The two of you both cursed as he sank into your wet heat, feeling you clench around him. He reached down, using the belt around your wrists to tug you into kneeling on the bed. You wobbled, widening your stance to steady yourself as he began to pound into you. He curled his arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest, groaning and growling against your skin. His hand came up, tweaking and slapping your nipples. Each little sting brought you closer and closer to the edge. 

You rested your head back against his shoulder, grinning as his hand snaked up to your throat. You nodded, breathing, “Yes,” As he tightened his grip. Rafael nipped your shoulder as he hammered his hips against yours, using the grasp on your neck to guide your body down against his thick length. 

“Can you cum just like this?” He murmured. 

“Yes, Rafael.” 

“Go on, then,” He urged, “Tighten up on that cock—Fuck, that’s it, just like that.” 

You whimpered, hands grasping together as you came harshly, hips bounding against his. Rafael’s hold on your neck kept you from hinging forward and landing in the sheets. He kept thrusting as you came down from your high, pace as rapid and strong as before. You were startled when he pulled out and took hold of your arms, ordering, “Get down.” 

You let him guide you to sit on the floor beside the bed, gazing up at him with cock-drunk eyes. He stood over you, panting, his hand jacking his cock with a filthy squelch and slide. You opened your mouth sticking your tongue out and waggling it back and forth. He groaned, his head tipping back as spurts of hot cum covered your face and mouth. You sighed softly, leaning up and lapping at the head, then giving it a light sucking kiss that made his hips jolt.

Rafael braced his hands on the bed behind your head, carefully lowering himself to sit on the floor beside you. The two of you sat quietly for a few moments, watching one another. He reached up, gathering a few stray drops of cum and holding his finger up. You opened your mouth, sucking the finger between your lips, and smiling as he grinned and chuckled. 

“You dirty little thing,” He murmured fondly. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he reached behind you, undoing the belt holding your wrists together. Your aching arms sagged once they were released. You rolled your wrists, raising your hands and eyeing the indentation left by the leather. You needed to move, and soon. Your ass was throbbing viciously—though the cool wood floor felt nicer than you'd thought it would. Rafael gathered you into his chest, pressing another kiss to your temple. 

"We should get cleaned up," He urged.

"Mm...In a minute."

"Alright. Are you feeling okay?"

"Mhm."

"Hungry, thirsty?"

"Both. But don't move yet, please."

"Okay."

“...Rafael?” 

“Mm?” 

“My leg wasn’t cramping.” 

“Prosecution rests.”

Tag list: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight ; @recklessworry ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @phoenixhalliwell ; @wild-rose-35 ; @daisyslibrary ; @informally-liz ; @andrastesflamingtitties ; @muchacha-encabronada ; @nerdygirl0414; @elen-aranel ; @ohbee-whatcanyoube ; @kmc1989 ; @quietpainter ; @thedreadandthefugitivemind ; @kaletastrophes ; @nyx2021

#Rafael Barba x Reader #Rafael Barba x You #Rafael Barba/Reader #Rafael Barba/You #Rafael Barba fic #Rafael Barba imagine

[nophunleague]

Rafael Barba Appears at the 16th Precinct Again

Rafael Barba x gn!reader

warnings: angst, grudge holding.

You all but crash into the conference room at the 16th, anxious to tell the squad that Mickey Davis had gotten some hot shot attorney, that you had heard courthouse gossip about it. The door swings open and you're met by Kat, Fin, Rollins, and Rafael.

His green eyes almost darken at the sight of you. He's not shocked that you're here, it's just the shock of not having seen you in years that strikes him. Taking in the crowd in the room you barely blink before spitting out at Rafael, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, you just look like someone I used to know," before spinning on your heel and storming back out into the squad room. You don't even look up at Liv and the deputy chief as they pass you. Amanda follows after you after Rafael is pulled into Liv's office by the Captain and Deputy Chief Garland. You're sat at your desk, head up in a thousand yard stare.

"Well I think you definitely hurt his feelings, if that's what you were going for," you're broken from your gaze by her speech and you look up to her from your seated position.

"After what he put me through I think what I said was fairly tame."

"You might be right about that, but maybe think about what he's been through too. He nearly threw his entire career away and had to leave you in the process," she tries to reason with you but your eyes narrow as she keeps talking.

"He didn't have to leave me and he should have talked to me first. I showed up to work one day and he was gone. The man I loved left me without a single word. It felt like my life fell apart," you seethe. Amanda looks over your shoulder to see Rafael standing behind you.

"That's very mature of you," she says before walking away, he walks up behind you and gently lays a hand on your shoulder. But you hadn't notice him yet so as he makes contact with your body you jump to face him, hand on your holstered weapon.

"Woah," he throws his hands up, "its just me," you scoff but remove your hand from your hip.

"Just you? Just you?" You start to pace back and forth in front of him, searching for the words to tell him off. But deep down you're glad to see him, he looks healthy, the beard he's grown compliments him.

"We should talk."

"Oh you want to talk now? But you didn't want to talk four years ago when you left," you all but shriek, your voice sparking the attention of those in the precinct. "You pulled the plug on someone's baby, were charged with murder, acquitted, and then you left me. And you didn't talk to me about any of it. We were supposed to be together and you left me out of it," your voice continues to raise as you takes steps closer to him, ending up in his face. His eyes search yours trying to find the person who he had once loved, but all he find is someone who has undoubtedly been incredibly hurt by his actions. The tears are threatening to spill from you eyes but you stay strong. Your raised voice causes Liv to step outside of her office.

"Both of you, take it outside. Now," you glance between Rafael and Liv before turning on your heel and storming out with Rafael following close behind. You meet again in the elevator where this time you stay silent.

"I didn't know how to tell you I was leaving, so I just left," he says quietly. "It wasn't the right thing to do, you didn't deserve that, but I needed to leave here. I was suffocating," the both of you stare at the elevator doors, not daring to look at one another. You reach up and hit the elevator switch, stopping the elevator in its descent.

"No, I didn't deserve that," a tear escapes your left eye at last, but you don't wipe it away. "You threw me away like I meant nothing to you. I would have went with you if you had just talked to me."

"You meant everything to me. I just couldn't let you throw your NYPD career away to come with me on the campaign trail. You were just getting to the point of being on the precipice of making sergeant," his eyes are now glued to the side of you head while you keep looking at the doors. You take a second to think about what you're going to say before raising your voice and making direct eye contact.

"Yeah well I failed the sergeant's exam twice since you left so I'll only ever be a detective now," Rafael can feel the holes your eyes are burning in him, his breath kicks up and he's uncharacteristically speechless for a moment. You huff and flip the elevator switch again allowing it to continue its descent. The doors open on the ground level of the 16th and you start to take a step out when he speaks.

"The day I did what I did to Baby Drew I was meant to pick up a ring. An engagement ring," he hangs his head, not looking at you.

"Oh so one day you were thinking about getting married and then next you were throwing everything we had together away? I don't know why you came back, but I don't think there's any fixing this. Not right now anyway," you shake your head as a few more tears fall.

"Liv and Fin called me," he admits.

"Oh even better, you didn't even come back for me. Tell Liv that I'll be back in a little bit," you storm out of the precinct. Rafael runs a hand through his hair as a tear now escapes one of his eyes. He composes himself quickly then presses the floor number of the squad room to go back up.

"I really fucked that up," he says to himself.

#law and order svu #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba #svu #svu imagine #rafael barba imagine #raul esparza #special victims unit

[cissyenthusiast010155]

Alexandra ‘Alex’ Cabot Masterlist

Mommy… Master List

Approach at your own risk… smut =* extra smutty =**

One Shots

Late Night Submission ~Cabenson*

Daddy’s Bunny ~Daddy!Alex Cabot xFem Bunny!Wife!Reader ~Holiday Bingo*

Not Without You ~Casey Novak xFem Wife!Reader (Olivia Benson x Alex Cabot) [MATURE]

You Go Too Fast for Me ~Dom!Rough!Alex Cabot xFem Sub!Lover!Reader*

She’s Been to Hell And Back ~S13!Alex Cabot xFem Wife!Reader(feat. Casey, Rita, Liz, Liv, & Amanda)[MATURE]

My Guardian Angel ~Broken!Rita Calhoun xFem Younger!Investigator!Reader (Liz Donnelly x Alex Cabot) feat. Rafael Barba & Olivia Benson

Taking It From the Best ~Mistress!Narcissa Malfoy x EarlySVU!Alex Cabot xFem Pet!Younger!Reader**

Evidence of Obedience ~Sub!Alex*

Suspension Tension*

Tell Me What You Need ~Inexperienced!Shy!Sub!Alex Cabot xFem Soft!Dom!Reader*

Oh and I take Requests, so hit me up with your ideas 😉 Requests & Prompt-List

#cissyenthusiast010155 Masterlist #Alex Cabot #alexandra cabot #alex cabot x reader #Alex Cabot smut #Alex Cabot fluff #Alex Cabot angst #Cabenson #Olivia benson x Alex Cabot #Alex Cabot x Olivia benson #Cabenson fanfiction #Cabenson x reader #Cabenson fic #stephanie march #conviction #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order fanfiction #law and order fic #law and order x reader #law & order #law & order svu #law & order special victims unit #svu #l&o svu #svu fic #svu x reader #svu fanfiction #SVU smut #svu fluff

[malevolent-muse]

What is SVU? A Random Synopsis

One time I had a reader tell me they had never watched SVU ... this was my response:

Wait.... what? You've never watched SVU?!!!! OMGosh! Okay, SVU. Let me tell you about how amazing it is.

There's this cop, his name is Elliot Stabler. He's an ex-marine with a wife and a bunch of kids. He's partnered up with this smoking HOT babe. You know her, Olivia Benson. The sexual tension is REAL but that doesn't stop them from having a great dynamic and the shows is basically a buddy cop adventure with people getting raped... and Ice T! But he's a good man and doesn't cheat on his wife. In fact, Elliot and Cathy separate for a bit and he still does NOTHING with Olivia.... Instead, he gets his estranged wife pregnant and they get back together. Everything is great until the actor did not renew his contract and the whole show devolves to revolving around Olivia.

Now, don't get me wrong. I LOVE HER. She is my favorite. But since she has to carry the whole show, the writers turn her into a saint. So no more hooking up with hot guys, no more flipping out on bad guys... instead she gets her act together, gets promoted, and adopts an orphan. Yeah... she's a saint. Blah blah blah.

Then Carisi joins the squad and that character pretty much SAVES the show. He came on and we were all like... oh no, here's another character that will be around for a season or two and then gets shot or arrested or killed. But no, not Carisi. He's so sweet and naive... But thinks he's tough. He has a terrible New York accent. He's cute but sucks at knowing how to attract women. He is smart and gets his law degree. He has CRAZY sexual chemistry with Rafael Barba (the SVU assistant district attorney) but of course Barba is a man... And Carisi is "straight" and catholic so it's basically queer-baiting but we all love it anyway.

What else can I say? I LOVE SVU :D

#svu #law and order svu #synopsis #queer baiting #olivia benson #elliot stabler #sonny carisi #rafael barba #random

[megalony]

Courtroom Chaos

This is my first time writing for Rafael Barba but I am so excited to post this and I hope I can get some requests to write for him.

I have been on a break from writing for a while but an glad to be back again, I hope you all will enjoy.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @ambi-and-sunflowers @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @thereisa8ella @qardasngan​

Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) and Barba are in a relationship and are working on a tough case. When they are in court, a fight and chaos soon breaks out.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What's taking so long?"

(Y/n) cast her eyes over to Nick who was taking to pacing up and down in front of the doors to the court room. His quiet grumble had been heard by them all but no one gave him a response. They could all feel his worry radiating off of him and mingling with their own, this was a high priority case and without it being hard enough, their star witness had just been taken to hospital.

"Barba's trying to get a continuance, the judge won't take it lightly." Olivia leaned her head to the side as she folded her arms over her chest.

They all knew Rafael had tricks up his sleeves and he had a very direct yet sarcastic way about him that was hard to resist or say no to. (Y/n) knew her ADA would be pulling out all the stops to make sure that this trial didn't go down the plug and that they could still have a chance of winning. But that didn't stop (Y/n) from biting her thumb in panic as she leaned her shoulders back against the wall and tipped her head down.

Their star witness in this murder trial had been fine for three weeks leading up to this trial. (Y/n) had spent almost every day with her, Rafael had been with her in his chamber going over and over her story to make sure there were no inconsistences and coaching her of what to say when questioned by the defence. Everything was going great, but her nerves had gotten to her and she had drank too much.

She was having her stomach pumped at the hospital and if all went well she could be on the stand by as early as tomorrow afternoon. But Rafael needed to convince the judge to give them a continuance so the trial could still go ahead and their witness could appear tomorrow instead of today.

"So?" Nick clutched his hands on his hips and sped over to the rest of his colleagues when he saw Barba walking down the corridor advancing towards them.

Rafael had his usual confidence expression on, one hand was tucked into his trouser pocket and his other hand held his briefcase. (Y/n) watched the way he advanced over to them, he wasn't hurrying with the haste of needing to prepare a plan B and he wasn't frowning or biting his lower lip which meant he must have gotten what he wanted.

"We didn't get a continuance, but Tina can appear on the stand tomorrow instead. The trial moves forward, (Y/n) and Olivia will be on the stand today instead of tomorrow, we're all good."

Rafael turned his head in (Y/n)'s direction, a certain look in his eye to silently ask his lover if she was okay with that. He knew better than anyone that (Y/n) didn't like to be questioned formally like this and he had seen her the last time she had been on the stand. Someone pointing a gun at her didn't terrify her as much as being on the stand had done, it sent her panic through the roof.

He watched closely as (Y/n) nodded her head but didn't say a word, keeping her eyes glued on the floor to try and calm herself down.

(Y/n) wasn't afraid of suspects, she had a gun strapped to her hip for security and added intimidation, she had her colleagues with her and there was little a suspect could do to harm her unless she was undercover.

But Rafael knew that the suspect in this case had her rattled because he had tried to strangle (Y/n) when she stopped him from attacking their witness. For her to take the stand and tell the court he had done that, added to the facts they knew when they had arrested him and what they knew of him, (Y/n) was all but condemning him and he would be there to watch. Confrontation wasn't (Y/n)'s strong point if it involved her, if she was simply a cop confronting a killer it was fine. But explaining her own actions and thoughts made her feel vulnerable.

"You'll be fine, you'll be answering my questions first just as we talked about." Rafael tipped his head down and his brows rose to silently ask if (Y/n) understood and to make sure she knew she didn't have to panic about this.

He could see the look in her eye that made his heart yearn for him to reach out and wrap his arms around her and tuck her into his chest and to take her far away from this mess, back home where they had hardly been these past three weeks. But he couldn't whisk her away, nor could he do that kind of public affection right now when everyone was starting to pile into the courtroom.

It was no secret to the detectives that (Y/n) and Rafael were in a relationship but if people knew and then watched him question her they would be whispering about how professional it was even though he was allowed to question her.

So instead, Rafael settled for cradling the back of (Y/n)'s head and kissing her temple for a brief second before he slowly untangled himself from her. He would have to go into the courtroom soon and set up ready for the case to start up fresh again today.

(Y/n) could feel her nerves going haywire but she tried to swallow them down and forget them for now. Her eyes scattered around the busy hallway but her eyes soon latched onto a figure she was dreading to see.

Liam.

The defendant who had somehow got himself out on bail and was allowed to stalk the streets looking for another victim to snatch. Of course he was going to be here today but he should have been here earlier and the look on his face told (Y/n) what she had dreaded. He knew Tina wasn't showing up today.

They had all hoped that they could keep him from finding out so that when she didn't turn up as a witness he would be confused. Tina was on 24 hour surveillance to keep her safe so Liam couldn't intimidate her but he tried his luck wherever he could and they knew he would try today to find her.

(Y/n)'s eyes locked with Olivia who seemed to be thinking the same thing, for she made a beeline for their other witness and made quick work of ushering her into the courtroom so she couldn't be intimidated.

Spinning on her heels, (Y/n) moved the bottom of her jacket to make easy access for her gun in case she had to be prepared for him to start a fight. Her heart pounded in her ears as she advanced down the corridor towards the man who was coming at her like a train. His hands were clenched at his sides, his face bursting red from the blood pumping underneath his skin and his pupils were blown wide from adrenaline.

"Where is she?!"

"Mr Casey you need to calm down and go into the courtroom the trial will be starting in five minutes."

"Where is she, my Lawyer just told me she isn't here today. Where is the bitch?"

His eyes were rabid like those of a madman, constantly diverting from one angle to another trying to look through all the onlookers and find Tina in the sea of faces to confront her and scare her away from testifying.

"If you don't calm down you'll be escorted out. She isn't on the schedule for today-"

"Bullshit, what's wrong, has she recanted?" The look in his eyes was like a dark glimmer passing over his pupils, it was like he had just gotten exactly what he wanted if that question turned out to be true. He had done his best to intimidate Tina into backing away and he had strangled (Y/n) when he knew he was helping Tina and pushing her to do this.

They all knew that if Tina didn't make her statement in court then the case would eventually fall apart and Liam would be a free man allowed to commit more crimes because he knew he could bend anyone to his will.

"Tina is rescheduled for tomorrow, that's all."

(Y/n) took a calculated step back and hovered her hand over her holster, her head ticking to the side to warn Liam she was going to pull the weapon on him if he got worse. His voice was raising and full of anger and his hands were balled into fists, he wouldn't care if he had witnesses around him seeing him attack (Y/n) or anyone else, he would do it if he was angry enough.

"No, I've told that bitch more than enough times she isn't testifying and you're not covering for her and making her either. Get out the fucking way and tell her she's done for."

Liam's hand swiftly reached out and pushed at (Y/n)'s right shoulder shoving her back a step before she regained her balance.

"You need to leave. Security."

(Y/n) waved her hand around for the security guards near the entrance to the courthouse to come and help. She wasn't having him going in like this because he would cause a scene and they didn't need that today on top of everything else. There had been many times during this trial that Liam had been told to leave and they had recess because he couldn't control his temper which the Jury had seen first-hand.

"Shit!"

A round of curse words left Rafael's lips the moment his head turned just as he was about to enter the courtroom. His eyes latched onto the back of (Y/n)'s figure before his hand let go of the door and his briefcase was dropped at his side, his feet skidding on the polished floor as he bolted.

His eyes focused on (Y/n) but his ears focused on Nick's voice who was hurrying along with him, shouting threats at Liam to stop what he was doing.

Just as Rafael got towards the pair, Liam swung out at (Y/n), effectively knocking her backwards until she collided with the bench behind her and tumbled down to the floor.

Nick made quick work of tackling Liam to the ground along with the security guards who approached the scene as Rafael focused his attention on (Y/n). His knees harshly thumped against the hard marble floor but his hands delicately moved to cradle (Y/n)'s face, his thumbs brushing against her flushed cheeks as he felt breathless.

"Querido? Querido, you with me?" He tilted her head back a little, feeling relief washing through him when he saw her eyes flicker open, tremoring side to side as she tried to focus on looking at him.

"Hmm, I- I'm alright, just winded."

Pushing her head forward, (Y/n) rested her temple against Rafael's shoulder and clamped her shaking hands down on his wrists to comfort and steady herself. She could feel him kissing her temple and she could hear his heart beating horribly fast causing him to shake too.

"I'll go talk to the judge, get a continuance-"

"No, no Raf I'm okay, we can't risk losing this case." (Y/n) knew she didn't sound very convincing and she was rather breathless but once she caught her breath back she would be okay. There wasn't a lot of questions she and Olivia had to ask anyway, once they were done it was over for today. They weren't losing this case and they weren't postponing it if they didn't have to either.

"You promise me you're okay?" The tone he used reminded (Y/n) of how he spoke to their victims or witnesses when asking them something they couldn't dare lie about. But it was the look in his eye that made her insides melt and set alight at the same time.

The moment she nodded, Rafael pressed another kiss to her temple before he moved into a crouching position, holding his hands out so he could help her to her feet. (Y/n) felt him tense the moment they stood up and she took in a sharp breath to stop from making a sound of pain. His arm wound around her waist like an iron bar as a sign that she needed to tell him if she wasn't okay but (Y/n) just patted his chest. She was okay.

The air had been knocked out of (Y/n) when her side collided against the arm of the bench. Her lungs had become paralysed before suddenly restarting again and it made her chest tight and her lungs burn for oxygen but she was okay. If she needed to she would get checked out after court, (Y/n) was no strangers to bruises and her ribs felt bruised.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"My next witness is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)."

Rafael's voice sounded so quiet and distant in (Y/n)'s ears but when she took a very deep but painful breath, she could feel herself coming back to reality. She lifted her head and tried to blink through the foggy feeling that had been building up since the confrontation with Liam outside the room.

(Y/n) had been thankful to both Rafael and Olivia for deciding that Olivia would be his first witness called so that (Y/n) could have a little while to calm down and prepare herself before she was called up. But now she was wishing she had gone first and got it out the way. Her chest was tightening to the point she felt like her lungs were going to pop and her head was pounding like a drum.

But she couldn't go back on her words now and ask the judge if she could testify at another time so she could get checked. She had said she was fine so she would have to give her testimony and then go to the hospital. Besides, she would be able to see Tina and tell her how things were progressing if she went after she answered the questions.

She could feel Nick's hand resting on her elbow to steady her when she stood up and tried to compose herself, ignoring the shivers running up and down her spine as she focused on walking over to her counsellor.

(Y/n) could feel her skin prickling with heat as she slowly and unsteadily advanced towards where Rafael was stood beside his desk. She couldn't see the worry in his eyes as he watched her, knowing something was deeply wrong from how disorientated his partner looked as if she had been drugged or she was sleep-walking to him.

Rafael tipped his head to the side as his eyes narrowed on his beloved. His lips parted to let out a small whisper to ask if she was okay but the words never got past his lips before a grunt replaced them. The moment he saw (Y/n)'s eyes start to roll back and her footing stuttered, his legs moved of their own accord.

His body jumped in front of (Y/n)'s path and as she fell forward, her head crashed onto his chest, bouncing back and then resting on his chest before the rest of her body and weight was thrown onto Rafael. His arms clutched to her waist and he went back a few steps to steady himself and he was suddenly shouting for help.

His right hand moved to cradle the back of (Y/n)'s head before he bent his knees and slowly lowered himself down to the floor, easing (Y/n) down until she was sprawled across his lap.

A string of curse words in Spanish left Rafael's lips before he looked across at Olivia who was already on her radio to get an ambulance to them.

"Querido, mi amour... open your eyes." Rafael smoothed his thumb over (Y/n)'s cheek, noticing how her eyes were moving behind her eyelids showing she was somewhat partly conscious in his arms. He knew he should have made her to and get checked out, he saw the way she collided with the bench and then tumbled down to the floor and Rafael heard the way she breathed when she stood up. But everyone was so anxious to get this case finished and won that they both ignored her pain and carried on.

It felt like seconds had ticked by rather than minutes whilst Rafael knelt cradling (Y/n) in his arms, a soft expression on his face as he continued to bring her round and keep her awake, whispering to her as the court was adjourned and evacuated except for them and Olivia and Nick.

Rafael wasn't as panicked as Olivia thought he would be in a situation like this considering she had seen the way he bolted for (Y/n) earlier and let his vulnerable side show. But then again, (Y/n) was awake and though her breathing was harsh and laboured, she was still breathing okay and her pulse wasn't drastic.

(Y/n) was barely coherent nor properly conscious but she could hear the paramedic at her side saying she had broken some ribs and she had some trauma to her lung. She could see the look her lover was giving her, Rafael had one eyebrow cocked up and he was biting the corner of his lips that were tightly pressed together. That told her that her condition clearly wasn't too bad or drastic.

She was still in Rafael's arms so she let her mind wander as he spoke to the paramedic, as long as she was in his arms she was safe.

"Her chest cavity is clear, there's no blood or air trapped, she probably has trauma to her lung. An x-ray to be sure and get her checked out and she should be fine with some painkillers."

(Y/n) wasn't unconscious, she was still breathing and her lungs were clear as was her chest which meant nothing serious had happened. If she had an x-ray to make sure her lungs were clear and got checked over she would be fine. The shock of hitting the bench may have just rattled her chest and lungs and sent shock through her system.

Rafael nodded, relief surging through his veins and when he looked down at (Y/n) in his arms, their eyes locked for a few long, loving seconds. His lips twitched into a small smile merging with a smirk and (Y/n) could see he was about to shake his head at her before he leaned down and hovered his lips against her ear.

"We're gonna get you checked out first, but we will be talking about this when we get home, Querido."

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba x you #imagine #rafael barba imagine #rafael barba one shot #barba x reader #law and order #law and order svu #rafa x reader

[storiesofsvu]

February Phone Call

Rafael Barba x fem!reader Warnings: language, implications of smut. Covers the “Blue Sunny Day” by Johnathon Coulton for @thatesqcrush​ ‘s Vday Bingo

*

The chilly February air seemed to be seeping through all the cracks, finding its way into your previously warm apartment. You put on a fresh pot of coffee and pulled out a spare hoodie that had been lying over the back of the couch. Grumbling you scanned through the fridge, a few probably way too old take out containers, some wilted spinach, a case of pop you’d bought when you were babysitting your nieces, and condiments. Yeah. You definitely needed to go shopping.

It was still early enough you opted to order some breakfast right away, using the waiting time to put in a grocery order for the next afternoon while you sipped on fresh coffee in an attempt to warm you up. Making sure the heat was ticked up a few notches, you grabbed your delivery from the door and bundled yoruself on the couch, brooding over mindless t.v while you ate. You were incredibly thankful that Oliva had approved the few personal days off you’d asked for.

Not that the entire team hadn’t been going through a gong show of a month and a half, Barba of all people ended up facing a trail as the defendant after turning off Baby Drew’s life support. Then you had to adjust to having a new A.D.A who was the one who prosecuted Rafael. It was the middle of winter and it was safe to say you all needed a break. Rafael had come to say good bye to you before he left New York, it was a complicated situation, and neither of you really knew how to handle it or how to feel about it. He was going through a rough patch already, trying to figure out how to reroute his entire career this late in his life, realizing that the things he was so passionate about upholding may not be as important as he’d previously thought.

About a year before the incident, the two of you had casually starting sleeping together. One drunken night of post trial drinks lead to waking up at his apartment. Thankfully there was no awkwardness, even as you returned to work the following Monday, you were able to keep your secret. Then it happened again, this time after only one drink, and you spent half of the next day together at your apartment ordering take out and lounging. You became better friends, often turning to each other during tricky or rough cases, but all of this was still kept relatively private. Everyone thought and believed that you were just friends, even Amanda didn’t pry into any of it.

Anything that did happen between you was spontaneous, never planned, there were never any fancy nights out or homemade meals for date nights. It was usually a series of texts leading to you meeting for a drink, or just needing a friend, whether those nights ended tangled in each other’s sheets depended on the mood. You never put a label on it, there were never really any feelings past sexual attraction and companionship, it just worked.

Which it why when suddenly he was on trial, you weren’t sure how to feel, aside from worried as a coworker and friend. And when he made the decision to leave the city, why he was hesitant about turning up on your doorstep to say goodbye. It hadn’t particularly been painful, you exchanged best wishes, you reminded him that he was worthy, and that he’d find whatever calling in life was out there for him, to not come down to hard on himself. He reminded you to try to keep Carisi in line while he wasn’t around, to stop drinking such crappy quality coffee, and that he would miss you the most.

Halfway through the day, right as you were dumping a pack of ramen noodles you’d found stashed in the back of a cupboard into a pot, your phone went off. You prayed it wasn’t work, and your brow furrowed when it was a number you didn’t have saved. Although that probably meant it was work, and even worse, was a victim or witness you’d given your card to.

“Detective Coulter, special victims.”

“Well that was a much nicer greeting than I usually get.” The voice teased from the other end, you pulled your phone back, double checking the number before you spoke again,

“Rafael?”

“Oh c’mon, I haven’t been gone long enough for you to forget what my voice sounds like, have I?”

“Oh please at the amount you talk I’ll never be able to forget it. The sarcasm will drip from your words forever.”

“Good.” He teased back, then sighed slightly, “hope I’m not interrupting a busy day.”

“No,” you pursed your lips, stirring at your pot of noodles, “I’m off for a couple days right now. You’ve caught me in the middle of wishing I’d actually gone shopping so I don’t have to eat the lunch of a broke college student.”

“Spaghetti with butter?” You laughed,

“Close, found a pack of ramen from probably months ago.” There was a slight pause while you scooped out the noodles with some of the water, stirring in the flavouring, placing the bowl on the coffee table to cool for a moment.

“How’s the city?” Rafael asked, a hint of yearning in his voice.

“Bleak.” You replied, wrapping an arm around yourself as you stared out the window, “it’s freezing, been snowing for weeks. Basically since the day you left the weather always feels this way. Work’s not much better.” You groaned, dropping down on the couch, pulling the blanket back around you.

“Stone giving you guys too much crap?”

“More like the entire squad won’t even give him the time of day. I swear Liv spends half her shift glaring at him harder than the perps.”

“Ah..you’re all taking it personally, so…nothing’s changed.” He quipped and you snorted over a mouthful of noodles.

“How about you? Where even are you? I don’t know that area code.”

“Iowa..” he sighed, “some law school friend knew of a couple positions down here. With the election coming up in the next couple years it’s the easiest place to get work.”

“Ugh..politics.”

“Don’t remind me.” He chuckled, “there’s some big dinner gala tonight. I’d be there to see it but I can’t get out of bed.” Your face fell at his words, shoulders sinking at the thought of him all alone out in Iowa.

“Raf…” you heard him take a heavy breath on the other end of the line, “are you..holding up okay? I mean…that was a lot to go through, now you’re…not here.” There was a moment of silence before he replied,

“I’ll survive.”

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.” You knew he hated opening up, but he had a few times in the past to you, and he was the one who picked up the phone to call you after all.

“I think…part of my coping was to move away. Even if this is just temporary, I just…need to sort my thoughts out, figure out if what I was doing was what my life’s calling was or if I should try something else for a little bit.”

“Understandable.” Your eyes flicked up to the t.v where the afternoon news had taken over. They were covering a Valentine’s Event going on in Time’s Square and your brow cocked, “did…you purposely call me on Valentines Day?” He laughed softly at that.

“I missed you. But I can’t say my intentions were completely pure.”

“At 11:30 in the morning Raf!” You barked a laugh, “I mean I’m not against the idea but right now the only thing I’m stuffing my mouth with is noodles.” He laughed heartily at that and it warmed you to hear him sounding more like himself again for once. Suddenly your call waiting beeped, “shit, hold on, it’s Liv.”

Rafael waited, silence filling the phone while he started to pick through his own lunch. He figured if Liv was calling you’d have to cut your conversation short, even if you were off for the day. He did truthfully miss you, he missed the city, his Mami, the whole squad. He was still mentally coping with a lot, glad he had some money saved up to help him slowly slip into things in Iowa while he took a bit of a vacation to try and get his head on straight again.

“Hey, sorry.” You suddenly cut into his thoughts.

“I guess this date is over?”

“Yeah.” You huffed, “Carisi ate shit trying to jump over a fence, he needs a bunch of stitches but should be fine otherwise. I’ve gotta meet Rollins to cover for him.” Rafael couldn’t help but laugh a bit at the detective’s misfortune, picturing the lanky man taking a painful tumble while in pursuit.

“Okay. It was nice to talk to you.”

“Right back at you.” You smiled, “I’ll call you tonight? Completely impure intentions?”

“Mmm…that does sound enticing.” He smirked and you could hear it nearly drip through the phone.

“Course it does.” You moved off the couch, flicking off the t.v, “Happy Valentines Day Raf.”

“Happy Valentines.”

#rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba one shot #law and order svu #svu #law and order #rafael barba fluff #rafael barba hurt/comfort

[thatesqcrush]

These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends

Mafia! Rafael Barba x f!reader AU.

NSFW (thigh riding, language, talk of violence, use of term daddy).

AN: looking to make this an ongoing series of one shots.

WC: 1.3K

Rafael hated these meetings.

He sighed irritably as he kicked up his legs on his desk listening to his boss on the speaker of his cellphone. He gently swirled his drink before taking a sip. By day he was ADA extraordinaire but by night, he was the underboss to one of the most prolific crime organizations in all of NY.

Playing Jekyll & Hyde with the law was exhausting, but it made him a very wealthy man and also helped put the “true” criminals away - pedophiles, rapists, abusers, dirty politicians and the like.

When Rafael joined the DA’s office, he was a pretty green attorney. When he met with McCoy, he learned the true nature of the DA’s office. McCoy was The Boss. Rafael knew the dangers and the risks and he could have taken a generous bribe to walk away and look away, but he decided to stay. He quickly rose through the ranks of organization, securing the utmost trust and loyalty.

McCoy was on a rant and Rafael nodded along as he took a long drag of his drink, finish it. He swung his legs off the desk and made his way to the bar cart, refilling his glass. As he closed the top of the bottle, he scanned his knuckles which were gashed, but scabbed over. In his position, rarely did he ever have to resort to fists but there was a rat who infiltrated a lower level and they needed to be handled.

The door to his office was open ajar and you poked your head through, looking around. Rafael met your eyes and he smiled, beckoning you in with a crook of his finger. You walked in and stopped at the cart, fixing yourself a drink. Rafael took your appearance in and his eyes darkened with lust. You were wearing his Harvard hoodie and thick thigh high socks. He felt his pants tighten and inwardly willed the phone call to finish.

Rafael sat back down and when you walked over he pressed a finger to his lips, motioning you to be quiet.

You nodded and sat on his lap, facing him. You began to press soft kisses along his cheek, jawline, and throat relishing in the feel of his five o’clock shadow pricking against your lips. Traces of cologne clung to his shirt, woodsy and masculine and you let yourself get lost in his scent. Rafael’s eyes closed as your lips trail along his skin before sucking against a pulse point.

“I am on a call,” he warned you.

You shifted your head to his ear, nipping at his lobe and pulling a harsh intake of breath from him.

“But I’m bored,” you whined. Your hand drifted to the bulge in his pants, rubbing. “Your call is taking too long.”

“Fuck,” Rafael muttered. It was growing more difficult to focus on what McCoy was saying.

You grasped Rafael’s hands and placed them under the sweatshirt and along your hips. Rafael is pleased at the realization that you are in fact, completely bare.

You unbuttoned his shirt more, revealing more of his throat. You nuzzled your face against him before you pressed more kisses along every inch of exposed skin.

“Having fun?” he growled in your ear.

“I am now,” you purred, rolling your hips.

His hands slid slowly down and over your hips and he shifted you until he had you flushed against him. His thigh is wedged between your legs.

You gave a purposeful roll of your hips against him. You gasped at the sensation of your bare pussy along his denim, gripping his shoulders tightly as he rocked your hips on his thigh. The meat of his muscle is a fantastic solid mass to drag against.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, princess,” he warned. His voice is gravelly and thick with lust.

You ignored him and continued to slide over his thigh, pressing down harder.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” His voice is soft and quiet. “Do you wanna cum baby girl?” His question was followed with a growl into your mouth, a needful sound that found its echo in the space between your legs. His eyes were dark with desire. He tightened his grip on your hips, his fingers digging, helping to drag your pussy along his thigh.

“Yes,” you whined desperately.

His mouth is on yours, hot and demanding. His tongue traced against the seam of your lips and you opened your mouth to let him in. You easily lose yourself in the pressure and warmth, in the mingling of breath. Your tongue slid along his, urging. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you two continued to kiss.

A hand swept up to your breast, squeezing softly, before twisting and tugging on your pert nipple. Another slipped under the sweatshirt, sliding up your back, before sliding back down. His nails scraped your skin and you shuddered and groaned in response.

Your hands move back to his shirt, grasping and fisting, curling around muscle. There’s so much of him, and still not nearly enough. You continue to fuck yourself against his thigh, your eyes fluttering shut as your mouth opened slack, breathy little sighs escaping. Your motions grow more frantic as your clit drags against the slightly rough denim.

“I’m going to come,” you choke out.

Rafael pulled back enough to see your face, watching as you fell apart for him. Your lips tingle, your toes curl, and all you can hear is blood rushing in your head.

“That’s it baby doll. Soak my thigh.”

Your breathing is still heavy as you come down from your high. Your fingertips scraped the back of his neck as you pulled him closer and ghosted your lips across his. He felt the warmth of your juices soak his pants and his cock twitched.

“Let’s take care of you,” you murmured against his lips, as if reading his mind.

In response, Rafael hoisted you on top of his desk. You moved to remove the thigh highs, but Rafael grabbed your wrists. “Leave them on.”

McCoy is still blathering on but Rafael no longer cares. He unbuckled his pants and pushed down his boxers, his hard cock finally freed of its prison. He grabbed your legs, placing one on each shoulder.

You look up at him, a dreamy smile spreading on your face as the blunt head of his thick cock pressed inside of you.

“Take me. I'm all yours, so take me."

He thrust forward, your walls burning and stretching to accommodate him.

The moment was ruined as Rafael’s name was called by McCoy.

Rafael pressed a finger to his lips again and took the call off mute.

“Yeah Jack, I’m here.”

You struggled to keep quiet, your hands gripping the edge of the desk for dear life as your McCoy’s voice filled the room again.

“Will you be able to cut the deal?”

Rafael snapped his hips forward hard and you whimpered.

“When have I not been able to do so?” Rafael’s thrusts slowed a little and you knew that was your cue to be silent again. “I always close,” he continued, no hint of the fact his fat cock was stuffed into your cunt in his voice.

“Good,” McCoy affirmed. “You know our fuckin deal…”

Rafael rolled his eyes and began to fuck you, but careful not to let the backs of your thighs meet his body, so there was no slap of skin on skin to give away what you were up to. Your eyes were screwed shut as you felt your orgasm fast approaching and you knew you couldn't warn him vocally while he was talking to McCoy.

The realization made you cum hard around him, pressing your first into your mouth as you tried your best to remain silent.

“I got it,” Rafael snapped. As McCoy turned his attention to someone else, Rafael hung up the phone. He gave you a dangerous smile as he started to fuck you harder and faster.

“It’s daddy’s turn now.”

FIN.

Tags:

@mgarner1227 @madpanda75 @beccabarba @melk917 @beardedbarba @detectivebarba @detective-giggles @plaidbooks @storiesofsvu @qvid-pro-qvo @adarafaelbarba @witches-unruly-heart @mrsrafaelbarba @tintinxtintin @dreamlover31 @zoeykaytesmom @itsjustmyfantasyroom @sass-and-suspenders @a-brignac @mommakat32 @greeneyedblondie44 @bisexual-dreamer02 @bananas-pajamas @pieceofshittytitty @i-justreally-like-cats-okay @blueberryt @garturbo @amelia-song-pond @berniesilvas @whoamelinda @chasingeverybreakingwave @averyhotchner @whatisthislife28 @jazzyjoi @rachelxwarren @its-just-me-chey @ottosuricato @neely1177 @youreverycolor @emandems10 - anyone else, just ask. Sorry if I didn’t tag you - working off an old tag list.

#mafia!barba #rafael barba and reader #rafael barba x reader #mafia!rafael barba #rafael barba imagine #Rafael Barba smut

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 59: Fearing the Unknown

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @averyhotchner​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @abzidabzy​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @hellofutur​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989 @midmourn @choosejoyangel​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message]

Montserrat made a mental note to replenish the bottle of scotch in the kitchen. Granted she was sure that Rafael was responsible for drinking most of it but since she took the last pour, he would definitely blame her.

He's lucky I like him enough to buy another bottle for him. She smirked to herself. She supposed it was fair in these cases. He bought her tons of sweets. She was expecting her bag of desserts to be arriving any second now.

When she heard her phone buzzing on the counter, she presumed it was Rafael apologizing for being so late. She answered the call, though did notice it was an unknown number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Montserrat Novak?"

"Yes, who is this?"

She should have never asked. One moment, she was drinking scotch and the next she was almost having a heart attack. Scotch abandoned — spilling over the counter — she was bolting to the hospital. An outright mess, she yelled her questions and demanded answers at the front desk in the E.R. room. She couldn't possibly think one coherent thought at the moment, not until she knew what exactly was going on.

The nurse behind the desk, bless her heart, remained absolutely at ease. She was used to it. "Ma'am, you need to calm down," she told Montserrat.

But such a suggestion was out of the question.

"I got a call telling me that my boyfriend was shot and he was taken here! SO WHERE IS HE!?" Montserrat's fists came down on the desk, rattling a bowl of pens on the side and yet none of that fazed the nurse. She was about to pull her shield out if that were to make things move faster when someone cut in.

"Scuse me?"

Montserrat's head flipped in the direction of the voice, immediately spotting a young woman trying to approach her. She didn't blame the woman; she probably looked horrific right now. The woman's blonde hair was pulled into a low ponytail and her face seemed as disconcerted as Montserrat. What the latter noticed, however, were the dry stains of blood on the blonde's shirt and thighs.

"Are you the girlfriend who likes sweets?" the blonde asked cautiously.

Montserrat had no idea what the hell was going on but now she understood even less. She turned away from the desk for a moment, nodding her head at the question. "Who the hell are you?"

The blonde cleared her throat, one hand coming up to rub the side of her neck. "I'm Clara, um…I'm the one…I made the 911 call. I think he was your, uh..."

Montserrat's eyes widened. Screw the nurse. She ran up to Clara, startling the woman when she yelled. "What happened!?" She practically shook Clara as she begged for answers. She ignored the nurse behind them calling for calmness.

"Um, he, your boyfriend, he was, um…he was buying pastries and we were, um, we were talking about blueberry champagne donuts and then suddenly…" Clara's eyes shined with tears, the fear still etched across her face, "This man came in with a gun…he was going to rob us but…" She shook her head, "He told me to get on the floor so I did. I heard them talk for a bit — Rafael hit him or something, I didn't see — and then he told me to make the call. I was in slow-mo so he went for his phone instead. It was at the other end of the room. The guy shot him."

As far as that story went, it wasn't the worst one Montserrat had heard in her line of job. Clara seemed more than traumatized but she was still able to retell the story of the incident decently.

Montserrat was always a cop in these situations. She had a clear mind of what protocols looked like and what she should do. Right now, she couldn't remember a damn thing. "O-okay," she nodded her head, turning away from Clara. Now she was shaking. "Oh…okay…okay…"

"Ma'am, you need to sit down..." The nurse hurried over as Montserrat's legs started buckling.

Everything was ringing in her ears at the moment. How she managed to get to the hospital in the first place was beyond her. "I-I-I don't understand h-how…I don't understand…" Montserrat couldn't finish her sentence for lack of air and thoughts.

The nurse and Clara sat her down in one of the waiting seats.

"Ma'am, you might need to see a doctor," the nurse said, but Montserrat didn't hear.

"We were going to have dinner…dessert…" She swallowed hard. Her eyes shifted from side to side, taking in the busy room. "He called me..." That call couldn't have been more than half an hour ago. What happened?

"Ma'am, let's get you to—"

"No!" Montserrat pulled her arm back as soon as the nurse tried making her stand.

"But you're—"

"I said no!" Montserrat snapped. "What I want is to see my boyfriend! What I want is to know why the hell he was shot! There's many things I want to know and seeing a damn doctor is not on that list so GO!"

Clara watched the nurse let out a frustrated sigh and retreat to the desk. She was sure that once Montserrat calmed down, she would probably apologize to that poor nurse.

Montserrat rested her elbows on her lap and leaned her head into her hands. Clara felt awful.

"Yeah, I was there," she sighed, "I froze. I have lived in New York my whole life and I've never even been mugged. Tonight…I almost saw God."

Montserrat finally glanced at Clara. She seemed very young now. Her eyes fell down to the stains. "The blood…"

"Oh," Clara looked at her stained jeans, "Um..." she was very hesitant to explain, even though Montserrat was pretty sure she knew what Clara wanted to say. "Uh, it's...it's his. I'm sorry."

Montserrat felt very sick. It had been a long time since she threw up but tonight might be the night she went through it again. "Wh-where did...where was the bul...?"

"The bullet went near the stomach and kidney, I think. I needed to stop the blood until the paramedics got there. I'm in medical school…" Clara let her head hang low, "Fat lot of good that did "

"You stopped the blood," Montserrat put a hand on Clara's arm. "He's here, isn't he? That's because of you." And that is what she was clinging to right now. Rafael wasn't gone. He was still here, somewhere in a room.

"They took him into surgery," Clara said, "I...I haven't heard anything."

Montserrat nodded. She took in another breath — several ones — to calm herself down. She looked at Clara again and the stains on her clothes. "Have you been checked?"

Clara nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I...nothing happened to me."

"Yes it did," Montserrat said. "You're not physically hurt but mentally? Have you called someone yet? For you? Parents?"

Clara shook her head. "No, I, um, I didn't even think about it, honestly."

"You should, at least so you're not alone."

"I'm not alone," Clara offered her a small smile.

Montserrat couldn't really manage any kind of chuckle. She felt like right now she could only focus on continuing her breathing. She could only do one thing at a time. "Well, you should rest, then. I'm not...I'm not going anywhere." No way in hell she was going anywhere. She always thought she would never have to be anything related to the word 'victim' again, but somehow this felt a thousand times worse than the last time.

"I'm going to stay with you," Clara said, "They only gave me so much information and since you're his girlfriend, they'll tell you more. I can't leave without knowing if he's going to be okay. He saved my life."

Montserrat nodded shakily. "Thank you." She gulped. She looked at the reception desk, suddenly regretting her treatment of the nurse. With Clara's help, she stood up and walked over to the nurse to ask her (more calmly this time) about Rafael.

He was indeed in surgery and there was no time stamp on when he would be out. The next hours would be agonizingly long and it wouldn't be until Clara asked if there was anyone else who would want to be there with Montserrat that the latter remembered — family.

"Oh God," Montserrat sunk in her chair again, bringing one hand over her hair. "If his grandmother finds out, she'll have an actual heart attack!" She checked the time on the clock on the wall. "They're both probably sleeping."

If anything, she would have to talk with Lucia first to decide how they would tell Catalina. And right now, she really saw no point in getting Lucia out of bed to come down to the hospital to wait on uncomfortable chairs. For the time being, Montserrat settled for calling the others. She went with the obvious for reasons and only because they would notice she wasn't coming home the next morning.

"Montserrat!" Kara exclaimed as soon as she spotted her best friend in the waiting room.

Montserrat raised her gaze off the floor just as Kara and Sonny joined her. She looked exhausted and that was more than when they closed the case earlier.

Kara enveloped Montserrat in a tight hug. "Oh my goodness, how did this happen?"

Montserrat's shoulders slumped together. "I'm still trying to understand," she said weakly. No amount of coffee could stop her voice from shaking. "Clara — the-the barista where he was said somebody tried robbing them. He had a gun…"

The rest was pretty obvious.

"Did the girl get a look at him?" asked Sonny, already in detective mode. It was impossible to turn off, especially when it dealt with their own. Montserrat envied him at the moment because try as she might, she could not go into the same mode.

"I don't know," she said, sounding even more exhausted, "She says he wore a ski mask. She said, she said Raf—he talked to the man…"

"Okay, okay," Sonny knew this was probably the worst time to be talking about what happened. All Montserrat could think of was the pending surgery and that was completely fine. He could take the rest. "I'm going to call Liv, okay?"

"No…" Montserrat barely shook her head, "She's got baby Noah and…it's late."

"She would want to know, Montserrat," Sonny said, "If it was about anyone else, she would want to know. I'm calling her, okay?" Montserrat had no choice but to agree. "And that barista, do you know where she is right now?"

"She's in the cafeteria getting us some coffee. She's the one who made the 911 call," Montserrat sniffed, fresh tears brimming in her eyes, "She tended to the wound…" She had to bite the inside of her cheek to stop the tears from escaping, "She said there was a lot of blood and—" Her hands motioned in front of her stomach. She couldn't say more.

"Oh Montse," Kara took her best friend into another hug. At that point, Montserrat couldn't help from bursting into tears.

~ 0 ~

Kara stayed at the hospital to keep Montserrat company while Sonny took Clara back to the dessert shop. He had already called to inform Olivia and was waiting for them at the crime scene.

"Hey, no one else?" Sonny asked Olivia as soon as he saw she was by herself with the local officers.

"I have Rollins and Finn at the precinct doing security feed diligence," Olivia explained, "I'm giving Amaro a few days to, uh, digest…"

Sonny nodded. He wholeheartedly agreed that Nick needed a bit of rest after the case with his father. "Uh, well, this is Clara," he gestured to Clara beside him, "She was with Barba when everything happened."

Clara gave a bleak wave of her hand. It was clear she would rather be anywhere else than the shop.

"Sargeant Benson," Olivia introduced herself to the woman and shook hands with her. "I'm so sorry about this."

"Not as sorry as I am for your friend," Clara replied, causing a brief exchange of glances between the cops. "I should have done more but I…I was in slow motion. I can tell now — it's why he got distracted. I didn't get the phone so he went for his and that's when the other guy took his chance. If I would have just listened—"

"Hey, no, it's not your fault this happened," Olivia stepped in to clarify. "Let's just focus on what we can do right now and you, Clara, can do a lot for Rafael right now. Can you take us through the whole thing here?"

Clara nodded. She took a few steps towards the counter. "I was over there, waiting for your friend to order. He, um, he was on the phone. He pointed at the things he wanted but he didn't talk to me until after he hung up."

"Okay, alright, and then what happened?" Olivia said as she and Sonny followed her around the counter.

"He said he wanted to buy sweets — his girlfriend liked sweets a lot."

"And then?"

"I told him about the blueberry champagne donuts…" Clara trailed off seeing the infamous donuts on the floor near the counter and a couple still on the counter where she had left them. "We were going back and forth with them. I told him it was a compromise since they're sweets and alcohol. He told me he wanted four so I went to grab a bag…" She paused, taking a moment to force herself to swallow down and not get overwhelmed thinking about what had come next. "And then he came in."

"The man with the ski mask?" Sonny presumed, glancing back at the entry doors. Nothing had been broken. The perp had come in easily and left as such.

"Yeah," Clara said quietly, her eyes falling over the metal tray stand on the floor, "Your friend talked to him. I was on the floor — the thief wanted me there — and they talked for a couple minutes."

"Was Rafael trying to talk him down?" Olivia presumed.

"I think so. He sounded really mad..."

"Of course," Sonny playfully rolled his eyes. Even in situations like these, Rafael would still find something to be mad about.

"And then I heard the metal tray. The guy fell, I think. I don't know, there were a lot of movement sounds after that until Rafael told me to get the phone."

Olivia stopped by the tray on the floor and studied the angle. She positioned herself as accurately as she could be to see how the situation must have gone by. Rafael was at the counter, he grabbed the closest thing to him and used it as a weapon. The perp fell. She'd check in with Amanda and Fin to confirm.

"If he was here, how did he end up on the floor all the way over there?" Sonny pointed to the spot near the glass wall, halfway across the shop.

"I told you, I wasn't moving fast enough," Clara said, feeling even more distressed now that she was thinking more clearly about it. "I should have moved but I didn't. So, he went for his phone."

"His phone was over there?" Olivia tilted her head, eyes gazing the distance between her current position and where the phone allegedly was.

"Yes," Clara nodded, noticing the strange looks the cops were sharing. "Do you guys not believe me?" That was the last thing she needed. "I-I'm not lying—"

"No, no, it's not that," Sonny mumbled. He went to the spot where Rafael had fallen, preferring not to focus so much on the dried blood stain on the floor. "The phone was here — why?"

Clara shrugged. "I don't know, the guy told him to throw his phone away."

"Throw his phone?" Sonny looked back, frowning.

"Yes!" Clara exclaimed. "Do you guys really think I'm making this up or what!? Why are you looking at me like that!?"

"Clara," Olivia started, putting her hands together, "The officers said nothing was taken from the register."

"Yeah, that's right," Clara confirmed.

"Okay, and he told Rafael to give his phone up but didn't take it."

"Yes!" Clara groaned. "Why!?"

Sonny walked back to the two, grim and serious. "This was never a robbery. Nothing was stolen, nothing was even damaged besides what Rafael used. This was all planned."

~ 0 ~

As soon as Olivia and Sonny returned to the precinct, they relayed their discovery to Amanda and Fin in the bullpen.

"You think this was a homicide?" Amanda was surprised and yet, after a couple seconds thinking about it, felt like it wasn't such a stretch. Their search through the security cameras didn't bring up much except for the unfortunate incident. The perp wasn't identifiable either under the mask.

"Attempted," Finn corrected, "Barba's not gone yet."

"What does Montserrat say about this?" Amanda wondered how erratic Montserrat would be with the news. She imagined Montserrat was already past frantic at the moment; this would make it all so much worse.

"We...haven't told her yet," Olivia admitted.

"She doesn't need to know about it right now," Sonny said sharply, intending for that to be the only warning Amanda and Fin needed to keep quiet. "We can take care of the technicalities on our own."

"Alright, so we run with this angle," Fin started, leaning back in his seat, "It doesn't exactly give us a small suspect pool. Barba's processed too many people to count."

Olivia agreed with Fin. "Let's start looking at the ones that have been recently released, if any. We'll work from there."

"Are we even allowed to work this case?" Amanda made the question once the tasks started being handed out. "We won't get IAB or anything?"

"I'd like to see them try," Olivia half smiled. That was a warning all on its own. "Besides, once I get done speaking with the D.A., I'm sure they'll want this seen to the end."

~0~

Kara returned from the cafeteria with two cups of coffee for her and Montserrat. She sat down beside the ginger, expecting the dead silence. It seemed like Montserrat had cried all she needed. Kara sighed and placed the cups of coffee on the side table stacked with magazines. She honestly thought silence was worse than tears.

"Montserrat — hey, stop that," Kara said, reaching to take Montserrat's hands apart. She was back to picking her nails. "You haven't done that in ages."

"I haven't had strong reasons," Montserrat mumbled.

Kara squeezed Montserrat's hands in hers. "You shouldn't. Rafael is not going to want to see your nails like that again."

"He knows why," Montserrat said quietly. At the moment, she didn't care if her double meanings were understood or not.

"It doesn't mean he would want to see that happen again," Kara reiterated, patting Montserrat's hands. "I'll do your nails later." She already saw spots of dried blood around Montserrat's nails.

"Hey, Novak!"

Montserrat's head snapped up, eyes falling on Nick just as he came to a sprinted stop beside their chairs. "Nick? What are you doing here? You've got the days off—"

"Forget about that," Nick said quickly, "Rollins texted me. How's Barba?"

"Still in surgery," Montserrat replied, "We've been waiting for someone to come out and tell us something — anything, at this point, really."

"Hey, it'll be alright," Nick said, bending down in front of Montserrat to hug her. "Guy like Barba — he doesn't go down that easily. I actually pity the fool who did this to him because when Barba gets through with him...yeah…"

Montserrat wanted nothing more than to take refuge in Nick's words. She thought he was right. Rafael was strong. He didn't go down without a fight. It's what he did for a living. But she couldn't find the strength to think like that right now. She couldn't see past the end of the surgery. Until the doctors came out and told her that everything was fine, she couldn't think of anything else.

"Thanks for coming," Montserrat settled for the polite thing to do at the moment. She pulled back from Nick, offering what she hoped was a decent little smile. She knew she looked like a mess right now.

"You said it, we're friends," Nick said, "And I want to be a better company for you than I was earlier. What you said about my father...you may have been right and I'll work on it."

Montserrat appreciated his honesty. "It's a long process, trust me. Still working on it myself."

"Maybe we can work on it together," Nick suggested, causing a small chuckle between the two. "In the meantime, I'm going to stay here with you."

"But your daughter…" Montserrat didn't want him to waste his only days with his daughter before she had to go back to L.A.

"She'll be sleeping until noon," Nick waved it off. "Don't worry." He gave an acknowledging nod at Kara before taking the seat on Montserrat's other side.

From there, the three of them began their collective waiting.

~0~

"Okay, so there were only three recently released convicts that were processed by Barba," Amanda told the others at the conference table. "We've eliminated one because of an alibi. He was working at the time of the assault."

"And the other two?" asked Olivia.

"Fin and I are about to go talk to the second one right now," Amanda said, getting an agreeing nod from Fin beside her.

"And the security feed?" Olivia turned eyes to Sonny who sat one chair down from her. He was engrossed in his laptop, watching the security feed of the dessert shop.

"The guy's in a ski mask all the time," he informed, eyes flickering up from the screen, "But Barba does clock him." He tried his best not to let any amusement slip from him but the fall of the suspect was more than hilarious. "Twice."

"Least the guy will have a mark to identify him with," Fin remarked.

"Anything else?" Olivia prompted them to keep the conversation going. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket and reached inside for it.

"Clara was right," Sonny said, resigned. "The guy makes Barba throw his phone but he doesn't even take it. He doesn't even go near the register. He just talks to Barba then tries to shoot him."

"Yeah, we saw that too," Amanda said. "Robberies don't usually go down like that."

"But without Barba, we can't know what they were talking about," Sonny said, closing his laptop. He'd already seen the shooting and would rather not go for a repeat. "Because whatever they were talking about, it seemed to put both of them on edge."

"We'll have to wait until he's conscious then," Fin said.

"Well maybe we can start now," Olivia cut into the discussion as she looked up from her phone. "Surgery's done. Barba's out."

~0~

The group of detectives met the others at the hospital just as Montserrat was finished talking with the doctor. Her walk back to the group was slow, obviously exhausted, but nobody said a thing. They waited anxiously to hear the news.

"The surgery went fine," she said slowly, "But he's still unconscious. We have to wait to see how his body will react."

"Okay, well, we got past one bad step," Olivia said, hoping that would cheer Montserrat a bit. "He'll be okay, you'll see."

"I was telling Montserrat since Rafael's going to be out for a couple more hours, she should go home and get some rest," Kara said with eyes sharp and fixated on Sonny for backup. "She hasn't slept at all."

Sonny was quick to agree and, thankfully, so were the others.

"I can drive you over there," Sonny offered since he'd driven Kara to the hospital in the first place. "You need to eat something too. We can stop on the way for some take out."

Montserrat shook her head. "No, no, I don't want to leave him. And I'm not hungry."

"He probably won't wake up for a while, Montse," Sonny insisted, "He won't even know you're gone."

"I'll know," Montserrat argued, "I don't want to leave him here."

"How about this," Nick step forwards, "I can stay here while you go home. You rest, eat, shower — take care of yourself before you come back here, alright?"

Montserrat looked at the others. While they didn't outright say it, she was smart enough to know that this fight was lost the moment it started. They were just being kind enough to pretend that she had a choice. If she didn't walk out, they would drag her out.

"I will be back soon," she warned them. "Just...just gonna change and—"

"Sleep," Kara finished for her and wrapped her arm around Montserrat's. "Even just a nap! Sonny, let's go!" She was quick to start walking with Montserrat before the latter started putting up a fight.

~0~

One hour later, Kara was coming out of Montserrat's room with a tray of half eaten food. Sonny was finishing up a call when she joined him. She placed the tray of food on the table with a sigh. "She didn't eat very much."

Sonny made that conclusion with the half eaten sandwich still on the tray. "At least she drank," he nodded at the empty glass next to the plate. "She's sleeping?"

"Yeah," Kara shrugged, revealing a smirk. "I slipped in some nyquil."

Sonny openly gaped at her. "Kara!"

"Well!" Kara threw her hands above her head. "You heard her before we even walked into the apartment! Montserrat was swearing up and down that she wasn't going to sleep. She was only coming to shower and eat and head back to the hospital. I had to do something!"

"So you slipped Nyquill into her drink!?" Sometimes, Sonny couldn't believe half the things that came out of his mouth where Kara was involved. "You — you are insane!"

"Oh calm down, she's sleeping isn't she?"

"Not by choice!"

"She will be fine and well rested. She needs to sleep, doesn't she?"

Sonny knew he could stand there and argue with Kara all day long and still somehow lose. "You — she's going to kill you," he warned Kara instead. "She's absolutely going to kill you."

"It's a chance I'm willing to take," Kara smiled. "And she won't even know about the Nyquill. She'll just think she was so tired that she fell asleep."

Sonny shook his head. On some level, Kara was helping Montserrat out but it still didn't feel right.

"Let's move on," Kara suggested, something that Sonny could agree on given that he would have to leave soon. "What's going on with the case?"

"You know I can't tell you," Sonny gave her a look, one that Kara gave right back.

"Don't even waste time with that. You've told me about other cases."

"Difference being you weren't involved with the other cases," Sonny pointed out, "You are Montserrat's best friend. Anything I tell you, you're going to tell her and she's not up to hear any of this right now."

Kara took a moment to read between the lines. "Wait a damn minute, what can't Montserrat know? What did you find, Dominick?"

"Oh no," Sonny pointed at her, "Only my mother does that. You're not doing that!"

Kara rolled her eyes again. "Can we please just skip through all this!? What did you find out!?"

"Montserrat can't know anything! Promise me you won't tell her!"

"C'mon, we're not—"

"Promise me, Kara!" Sonny demanded. "Otherwise I will not tell you anything."

Now it was Kara who saw herself without options. She groaned. "Fine, I promise! Now tell me what you know!"

Sonny was still reluctant but, because he trusted Kara, he told her what they learned so far. By the time he was done, Kara had already sat down in the nearest chair. Her mouth was open in shock, eyes wide to match. "You think somebody wanted to hurt Rafael on purpose? Why?"

"He's a prosecutor. Unfortunately, it comes with the job," Sonny said. "It wouldn't be the first time a case like this happened."

"Okay, well...now I get why you don't want Montse to find out about this," sighed Kara. "But you do know that she will eventually find out and she'll kill you specifically because you're her partner and you didn't tell her." She reached forward and shoved Sonny. "And then you'll have me worrying about you because you're going to be dead."

Sonny half smiled at her. "It's a chance I'm willing to take." Kara deadpanned him for his use of her words. "I'm sorry. This is just for the better. Montserrat's head is all over the place. This will only just make it worse."

"I see your point but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty," Kara mumbled.

"We'll tell Montserrat eventually, I promise," Sonny said, "But for now, it's best to wait until things are better."

"Okay, fine," nodded Kara. "So what happens now?"

"We keep investigating," Sonny said, "We're rounding up possible suspects but honestly it's not going so well. There's too many to go through. Barba's worked as a prosecutor for a long time."

"Why don't you ask Casey Novak for help?" Kara's suggestion was both startling and puzzling. "Doesn't she work with Rafael on some cases? They're close at work. If anything, she can help you weed out the suspects."

Sonny started smiling widely. "Now I remember why I love you."

"Oh," Kara's voice went sharp enough to make Sonny wince, "So you didn't love me for a moment back there?"

"No, I just meant—" Once she got started again, Sonny started wondering if there was any more Nyquil left.

#ocapp #ochub #allaboutocs #fd: svu #svu #rafael barba #rafael barba imagines #rafael barba fics #rafael barba x oc #svu fics #svu imagines #svu ocs #law and order #law and order svu fics #law and order imagines #law and order svu ocs #oc: montserrat novak #fic: dare to forget me

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

More Precious Than Rubies: Part 5b

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 4270

TW: Angst; end of relationship drama; sharing a bed but no sex; mild allusions to previous sex, so 18+ only just to be safe.

AN: The prompt was "You're overthinking - I'm yours. That's all I want to be."

Amanda knew what people thought of her.  She’d heard the hateful words thrown her way her entire life – trash, slut, dumb blonde, and every variation between.

Truthfully, sometimes being underestimated worked for her.  She solved many cases based on interrogations where she either flirted with the suspect or acted like a flighty idiot, and if it meant locking up some of the worst people she’d ever crossed paths with, well…she wasn’t that prideful.

And truthfully, she’d be the first to admit that her life was a mess.  She had fled Atlanta PD completely traumatized by her repeated assaults at the hands of her captain, and she buried it all deep under booze and sex and gambling until it all became too much.  She’d clean up her act for a while, then relapse, then hit rock bottom. 

It was all she knew, honestly.  She was her father’s daughter, after all.

But she was a good cop, and she tried to be a good partner, and when she saw Carisi come trudging back into the precinct with a fistful of shredded paper, she knew – with her detective’s instinct and her woman’s intuition – that she was somehow the cause of it.

She watched her partner as he sat down slowly at his desk.  He was slumped there, his head hung, and he looked like he had his spirit completely broken in the span of a minute.  He sat the pieces of torn paper on his desk reverently, like they were some sacred relic, and stared at them for a long while.  Then he took an evidence bag out of his drawer and swept them in carefully before sealing and placing in his bag.

Amanda knew how torn up Carisi had been when you broke up with him.  The man always talked about you when you were dating – how he couldn’t wait to get home to you, how you were brilliant and were going to be a force to be reckoned with once you passed the bar.  How you made him laugh all the time and cheered him up when cases got him down.  He made you sound like perfection, to the point where Amanda practically wanted to date you.  She could do with a smart and supportive partner for once, and she would readily admit that you were pretty.

So when you broke up with him, it destroyed her partner.  She tried to broach the subject a few times, but he’d just shrug irritably and change the subject. 

At first, she assumed it was the same thing that plagued all of them:  the job was too demanding and left no room for relationships.  But more and more, she doubted it.

Carisi made a few off-hand comments about how Amanda needed to get her shit together, and she wondered if it stemmed from his breakup.  And then you came back into their lives, and Carisi always jumped away from Amanda like a guilty husband caught with the babysitter. 

And today, when you looked at Carisi with a smile but saw Amanda’s pregnant belly, the blonde detective was able to piece it all together.  It was written plainly across your face as you turned and fled the bullpen.  You thought Carisi was the father, and maybe you had suspected something between then when you dumped Carisi.

Still, Amanda gave it one last shot.  “You want to grab a beer?” she asked as they both clocked out and left the precinct.  “I’m driving.” 

Carisi just shook his head irritably at her before replying.  “No.  I really want to be alone, ‘Manda,” he said.  “Shoulda said ‘no’ more often,” he mumbled, and then he stalked away.

So it really was like that after all. 

-----

Amanda just observed for a few weeks.  Carisi never got less snippy with her, and when you came into the precinct, your eyes glazed over every time you looked in her direction.  And whatever ground Carisi had gained with you – little smiles, small talk – was lost, and then some.

She waited and hoped the two of you would work it out on your own, because she didn’t have any relationship abilities whatsoever, but it never got better.  She took a deep breath, wished she weren’t pregnant so that she could drink some liquid courage…then she marched (more of a slow amble, actually) down to your office.

She had called ahead and pretended to be an ADA who wanted to drop in and chat; she wasn’t going all the way over to your office just to have you no be there.  But you would be in all afternoon, apparently, so she made an excuse to Liv and left alone.

Amanda rarely got nervous around other women, but she’d be lying if she said you didn’t intimidate her a little.  You were smart, and you routinely tore into SVU’s cases, and you flustered Barba all the time.  And Amanda didn’t have any girlfriends, so she had no common ground with you.  Well, no common ground except Carisi.

The elevator was too fast, and before she knew it, she was standing outside your office.  Your admin seemed to be off somewhere else, which meant that you’d be surprised.  Amanda took a deep breath again, felt the acid churn of her now-constant heartburn, and knocked on your door.

“Come in,” you called out, muffled, and she opened the door.  You looked up with a smile but it instantly fell the moment you registered who was walking into her office.

“Get out,” you said, and you stood up and pointed, but Amanda just shut the door behind her.  She looked you over and admitted again to herself that you were pretty.  She could see why Carisi liked you – you had a nice rack that strained your sleeveless blouse just a bit, and you always wore those pencil skirts that made your ass look amazing.  There was documented evidence that Carisi was an ass man.

Amanda gestured to her stomach, playing the pregnancy card.  “I need to sit,” she said apologetically, and she settled into the chair across from your desk.  “And I need you to just listen for five minutes.”

She watched you clench your jaw, but you sat down too.  You slide your phone’s lock screen off and glanced at the time.  “You have five minutes,” you said, and your voice was tight with anger.

“Let’s get one thing clear right now,” Amanda started.  “Carisi is not the father of my child, and we have never slept together.  We’ve never kissed.  The most physical we’ve ever been has been maybe a handful of hugs.”

You cocked an eyebrow at her, but didn’t say anything, so she continued.

“I know…” she started, but she trailed off for a moment.  “It’s hard, being a female detective with a male partner.  There’s an intimacy there because your life is on the line, and you’re expected to protect each other.  But then, there’s girlfriends and boyfriends and spouses who make assumptions.  Sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re wrong.”

She trailed off again and swiped her hand across her forehead.  She was sweating, and your office was small and stuffy.  You looked her over and stood up without a word.  You left your office for a moment, but came back with a bottle of water that you handed her without a word.

“Thanks,” Amanda said, and she was grateful.  She drank half of it in one go, then continued, calmer.

“I know you think that I have designs on Carisi, but I don’t.  Even if I did, I can’t compete with you.  He talks non-stop about how smart and funny and gorgeous you are.  And I’m a mess.”

You looked at her and cleared your throat.  “I don’t believe in tearing other women down to build a woman up,” you said quietly.  “Don’t talk badly about yourself to make me feel better.”

Amanda couldn’t help but smile at this.  “Carisi always said you were kind to a fault.”

You snorted.  “Well, I don’t like you, Rollins, so don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Fair enough.”  But she still smiled as she continued, “Look, I love Carisi as a partner, but I’d never pursue him romantically or…sexually.  And he wouldn’t pursue that with me, no matter how it looks.  He loves you.  He talks about you like you hung the moon, and that day you threw some torn up piece of paper at him…it really laid him low.”

“When we were dating, he was always with you.  Helping you with your life,” you pointed out.

“I know.  I never asked though.  Carisi loves a project, and I’m a project.”  Amanda shrugged.  “I always tried to send him home, but he always told me that you understood because you were always helping people too.  And my family – my momma and my sister – is a complete mess.” 

Your stern face softened a bit at this.  “Family is tough,” you conceded.

Amanda nodded.  “And when he was with me, he was talking about you.  Always.  I know you so well, I feel like I was practically dating you.  I know that you’re a shitty bowler, and that you can’t cook but still try.  You snore and you love to read.  You don’t really drink, but you have a trick of putting Coke in a rock glass with lime so that it looks like you drink, because you hate when people try to peer pressure you into drinking.”

You almost smiled at her.  Amanda could see the corners of your lips twitching as you fought it.  “You should buy me dinner first if you’re trying to flirt with me.”

Amanda laughed at this.  “And you’re funny, and smart.”  Her smile faded, and she looked you dead in the eye.  “And he loves you so much, and when he’s had more than two beers, he talks about how he wanted – wants – to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you.”  She watched your face as you considered this, and she finished the bottle of water and stood up, staggering a bit under her newly unwieldy body.

“Look, like I said, I love Carisi, and I assume you do, or did too.  I want him to be happy.  If you’re over it, then fine.  But I wanted you to know where things stood.”

You stood up too and walked her out to the elevator.  “I appreciate it.”  You turned and looked her over with a considering glance.  “It was ballsy, coming in here like this.  I respect that.”

Amanda laughed and climbed onto the elevator.  “Thanks, but I’m really just hoping you’ll ease up on me the next time you call me to the stand.  Carisi never warned me that you were a fucking Pitbull in the courtroom.”  She waved at you as the doors shut, and for the first time in a while, Amanda felt like she’d done something good for someone else.

********

Sonny pieced your letter back together, taping it carefully and reading as he went.  Once it was assembled, he read it over and over until he had it memorized, and even though everything was ruined with you, he chanted certain lines to himself to cheer himself up.  It started out “Dear Dominick,” which made him smile, because you only called him by his given name when you were mock-angry with him….or in bed.

It continued:

First, I have to thank you for the beautiful letter you wrote me.  It made me feel like some girl in love in an old English novel, and it would have only been more perfect if I could have read it on the moor while the wind whipped my petticoats.  Sadly, I read it in Brooklyn, which wasn’t as romantic.

I don’t want to focus on the end of our relationship either, but I do want to apologize for how I ended it.  At the time, in the middle of it, it seemed appropriate, but as time soothed my anger, I realized how harsh I’d been.  I wish I could go back and change how I handled it.

You know some of my history.  You know about the boyfriend before you, and how I was pretty closed off when we first met.  I wasn’t interested in dating at all, but there was something about you that gave me hope.  You were, like your namesake, a beam of sunshine through dark clouds. 

What you don’t know is my dysfunctional family, my parents’ terrible marriage that ended as badly as any marriage can….I keep that from everyone, even you – when we dated.  But with some time and distance between us, I can admit that you gave me hope there too, that I might live to overcome my parents’ awful legacy.  That I might have real love one day.

I think when we dated I was pretty open about what I loved about you, but I’ll reiterate here:  you’ve got a heart as big as anyone, and I loved that first about you.  How many cops get a law degree to become a better cop?  Not many, I’d wager, but you did – and you did it to help some of the most helpless victims this system has.  Your kindness and consideration shines through in everything you do.  You help everyone – your family, your friends, your coworkers. 

You’re smart.  You put yourself through night school while working ridiculous hours, and you graduated with honors.  I won’t accuse Manhattan’s SVU of being the most buttoned-up precinct I deal with, but I’m certain that the least terrible cases are yours (ha ha).

I could write at length about how handsome I think you are, but that’d be shallow and likely make you feel objectified, so I’ll just say that no matter how much I see you, I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see you again.

But what I love best about you is how you made me feel when we were together.  I never slept so well as when I was with you, falling asleep in your arms.  I always was able to drift off without nightmares, and I always felt safe curled up next to you. 

I don’t know what the future holds.  Sometimes everything seems so inconsequential in our line of work, the constant stream of misery.  But there’s always a ray of hope, I’ve learned, beaming through those dark clouds like a ray of sunlight.  So I live with optimism, and expect better days.  And maybe you’ll be there in those better days.

It was signed simply with your name.

-----

Sonny didn’t see you aside from a handful of times in the precinct, and you looked past him as if he didn’t exist.  He was exhausted and heart-sore and hopeless, but a college classmate was getting married in Jersey, so he took a long weekend and went to that.  Maybe filet mignon and an open bar could help him heal.

He skipped the ceremony outright.  He normally loved weddings, crying with the best of them, but he didn’t have the heart to watch two people commit themselves to each other.  He had wanted that with you.  He turned up to the reception early, some swanky country club that probably cost thousand of dollars a year in membership fees.  He found his seat at a table jammed into the corner, and then he scanned the rest of the tables place cards for familiar names.  And saw yours.

His stomach dipped to see it.  No “and guest” after your name either.  Sonny dreaded the day you turned up at the precinct with a ring on your finger or with a new last name.  He knew now that he was out of the picture, it was only a matter of time.  But for now, at least, you seemed to be flying solo.

You were three tables over from his.  Since he was early, he grabbed a beer from the bar and went to explore the grounds.  He found a quiet spot near the tennis courts, and he sat and drank his beer while he reminisced.

-----

You and Sonny had attended one wedding while you were together.  It was his best friend from high school, and you’d been sweetly shy as he introduced you to all of his friends (and an ex-girlfriend) from his youth.  You’d been nervous but eventually relaxed, laughing and dancing and begging everyone for their most embarrassing Sonny stories, and everyone was all too happy to oblige.  You fit in immediately, as he assumed you would.

You only got cranky during the garter and bouquet toss, and you refused to go to the floor when the rest of the unmarried women went out there.  Afterwards, when Sonny drove you both back to the hotel, you gave him an earful about stupid wedding traditions.

“So you’d never want to get married then?” he asked as he keyed the hotel room door open and held it for you.

“A wedding and a marriage are completely different things,” you pointed out, and you poked him in the middle of his chest to drive it home. 

“So you’d never want to have your new husband sit you in the middle of a dance floor, all eyes on you, as he removed the garter from your leg to some sexy song?” he asked, and as he did, he hooked his own hand under the hem of your skirt and trailed it up over your knee before letting it drift to the inside of your thigh.

Your breath hitched in your chest, and you leaned into his touch.  “That sounds terrible.  Is my new grandma-in-law watching?”

“She is,” he replied.  He leaned in to whisper in your ear.  “And she highly suspects that you claimed her innocent grandson’s virginity before you were married.  So she already thinks the worst about you.”

You huffed against him as you laughed.  “I’ll have to set her straight at the next family holiday dinner.” 

He walked you backwards until you were forced to sit on the edge of the bed, and he knelt in front of you.  He spread his hand under the skirt of your dress, grasping the soft flesh of your inner thigh and letting his fingertips graze dangerously close to his target. 

“I don’t think the garter goes that high, Dominick,” you said, and your voice had a strained quality to it.

“Hmm,” he said, and he pulled his hand away.  “Maybe your new husband would be drunk.  Too many shots on the party bus.  Nervous because it was a big day.”  He pushed your skirt up slowly, slowly.  He glanced up and saw you watching him from under your heavy eyelids.  “Maybe he’d embarrass you by trying to pull the garter off of you with his teeth.”

You had laughed at that, but it was cut short when he pressed his mouth to the inside of your knee, and before long, as his mouth trailed higher and higher, you were moaning and then gasping and then eventually screaming his name.

-----

Sonny finished his beer and then dragged his feet back towards the reception, but it was already crowded, so he took his seat.  He craned his neck and saw you, or your back, at least.  You were in a blue dress, and judging by the way your neck was bent and your shoulders slumped, you weren’t have a great time either.

He got through dinner, and he braced himself with more beers, only going to the bar after you’d gone.  He didn’t want to ruin the evening for you by running into you. 

But you’d obviously noticed him at some point.  He was sitting alone at his table as everyone else danced or mingled, and he saw you approach him in the now-dark reception hall.  You granted him a tight smile and then held out a fresh bottle of beer, which he accepted. 

“Can I sit?” you asked, and Sonny pulled out the chair beside him for you.  You settled in and turned to give him that same, tight smile.

“How are you?” he asked after a moment, and you shrugged. 

“Okay.  Tired.  It was a long week.”  You glanced at him.  “You know how it is.”

He nodded.  “It’s never-ending.”

You both sat in silence and watched the dancing for a while.  “Amanda came to my office,” you finally said, and Sonny flinched.

“I didn’t tell her to…” he started, but you waved him off. 

“I know.”  You sighed.  “I’m sorry I made an assumption, Sonny.”

He turned to face you, and he was pained by how sad you looked.  “I know why you made the assumption.”  He shook his head.  “I screwed up so much and…”

“Stop.”  You laid a hand on his arm tentatively, and Sonny tried to ignore how it felt to have you touch him, even through his suit jacket and shirt underneath it.  “No more of that.”

He just stared at you, completely unsure what to do.  You looked back at him.  Finally, you turned to watch the dancing, but you shifted your hand until it was grasping his.  He turned his palm so that he could properly hold your hand, and you both sat like that for a few songs.

“What song do you think they’ll play for the garter removal?” he asked.

You snorted.  “I think the bigger question is, ‘is the groom drunk enough to try removing it with his teeth?’”

“Only if his judgmental grandmother is watching.”  He turned to look at you, and you had a dreamy look on your face, like you were remembering that time in the hotel after his friend’s wedding.  After Sonny had gone down on you, you’d had sex – or more appropriately, made love.  It had been languid and slow-paced, and as he had moved in you, it was the first time you said that you loved him.  You had been slow to say it, so he had known that you meant it when you finally did.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?” he asked, pleading. 

You only sighed.  “I don’t want to talk, Sonny.  I don’t want to think.  I talk so much.  I talk to clients and prosecutors all day.  I think too much.  I can never turn my brain off.  I just want a good night’s sleep and no talking.”  You squeezed his hand.  “Can we do that instead and talk some other time?” 

Sonny could only nod.  His throat felt so tight that he thought he might cry if he tried to talk.  You smiled at him, and you led him to your table so that you could grab your purse, and then you both left. 

He was quiet in the car ride to your hotel, and quiet in the elevator, and quiet when you unlocked your door and threw the bolt when you shut it.  He watched you wordlessly as you kicked off your shoes and removed your earring and necklace.  Then he watched as you sat on the edge of the bed and looked at him.

“Is this okay, Sonny?” you asked softly, and he nodded again.  He kicked his own shoes off and shed his suit jacket and tie and belt.  He hesitated a moment.

“Do you want to put your pajamas on?” he asked, and you laughed lightly.

“You should know better than anyone that I don’t wear pajamas in the summer.”

He felt a stirring below the belt but willed it away.  “You want my t-shirt?”

You thought about it and then said yes, so when you were finally settled in the bed together, you were in his t-shirt and your panties, and he was in his boxer briefs.  And it, oddly enough, wasn’t sexy – but it was intimate.  There was some clumsy moments, but you eventually settled into a familiar position:  each of you on your side, facing each other, heads close and knees touching.

You peered at him in the darkness.  “Is this too weird?  I thought maybe it might be weird.  I wanted to talk to you, but didn’t really want to talk, but then I thought it’d be strange to pretend like I didn’t see you…”  You sighed and paused.  “I don’t know how to handle this, Sonny.  We broke up and didn’t see each other for a year, and then you wrote me a letter and I wrote a letter, and then Amanda came to see me, and I don’t know what to do or think…”

“This isn’t weird,” he said with a shake of his head.  “I missed this.”  His voice broke on the final word, and he shut his eyes to keep from tearing up.  “And you’re overthinking – I’m yours.  That’s all I want to be.  We can talk later, but that’s all that really matters to me.  I’m yours.”

He felt your hand reach up and stroke his head, soothing him in that way you had.  He had missed your touch, and it had been so long that it felt decadent to have you dragging your nails against his scalp as you hummed at him.

He reached up and stilled your hand, then pressed it to his mouth.  Then he pulled you to him, holding you tight and just reveling in the moment.  He didn’t press his luck – he didn’t talk anymore, and he didn’t try to escalate it your touching to anything sexual.  He wrapped his arms around you, and you sighed contently and hugged him back, and you both fell asleep like that.  Sonny, remembering your letter, hoped that you felt safe in his arms, and that any dreams you had were sweet ones.

#sonny carisi #sonny carisi imagine #sonny carisi x reader #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #tropes and tales