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hangovercurse · 3 years

Text

Thesis

After a bad day, Colson comes over to take care of you, only to find out about a secret you’ve been keeping from him.

Request: “I was wondering if you could do a Kells fic where he's dating the reader and finds out she is c*tting, and helps her. Its total ok if you aren't comfortable writing this though 🖤”

Colson X Reader

Warnings: discussion and depictions of self-harm, cursing, angst

A/N: Gonna get really serious with this one: If you are struggling with self-harm (in all forms, not just those discussed in this text) or issues with your mental health, please reach out to someone! Family, friends, anyone. I know it’s hard and you may feel like no one cares, but I promise someone does. If you don’t feel comfortable telling someone you know, message me. My page is a safe space and I will never judge you. I promise you, the world is a much better place with you in it and you deserve to take up space, you deserve to be happy.

On that note, do not read this if you feel it may be triggering to you, please.

Word Count: 2457

You sighed as you read the email subject Re: Y/L/N Final Thesis Revised 2. Every time your doctoral advisor sent you an email in response to any work on your thesis, it wasn’t good.

Ms. Y/L/N,

I regret to inform you that the corrections that you have made are still not adequate enough for submission to the board. Please read my notes attached for further work to be done.

You didn’t even bother reading the rest of the email, instead choosing to slam your head down against your wooden desk. “Fuck!” You yelled to your empty house.

You had rewritten your doctoral thesis 4 times already and submitted for approval twice, both of which were rejected. Your advisor was trying to be patient with you, but you could tell his tolerance was running low. “What am I doing wrong?” You whispered to yourself, closing your eyes as you let your head rest against the wood.

Maybe you’re just not smart enough. That unhelpful voice in your mind chimed in, making you groan. Seriously though, if you were smarter, then you would have been approved already.

Your chest started tightening and you felt nauseous, tears coming to your eyes. You reached around for your phone, hearing Colson’s voice in your mind. “If you have a bad day, text me. You can always talk to me.”

Hey

You texted him, hoping he would respond soon. Your breathing was getting heavier and you just wanted to talk to someone that wasn’t the voice in your head.

Hey, I’m in the studio rn, everything ok?

My thesis got rejected

Again :(

I’m sorry babe

Wanna see you

Colson didn’t answer for a few moments, and you had a feeling he was letting out a frustrated sigh. You hated bothering him at work, it always made you feel like a nuisance to him.

I can’t leave right now

You’ll be okay

It’s just a paper

Now it was your turn to let out a sigh. Colson didn’t exactly understand why this was so important to you. Every time you got upset after it didn’t turn out well, he told you the same thing, “It’s just a paper, you can just rewrite it.”

But it’s not just a paper. It’s currently the only thing standing between you and a doctorate degree. And you’ve rewritten it four times before.

He’s just sick of you whining about it.

You annoy him

He doesn’t care about you

You got up from your desk and made your way to the bathroom, not sure if you were going to throw up or do something worse. The voice kept speaking, her incessant words running through your head.

You know what’ll make you feel better.

And you did. You had been trying to stop, and you were doing pretty good until a few weeks ago. Up until that point it was rare, a few times a month. Now it was 4 times a week; more days than not.

You reached under your bathroom counter, pulling out the small, inconspicuous makeup bag. You brought it over and set it on the edge of the bathtub, sitting on the floor next to it.

The zipper felt familiar under your fingers as you pulled it, the metal coming into view. Your secret stash of hellish paradise.

You pulled one of the razers out, feeling the coolness on your skin. Pulling up the sleeve of your sweater, you placed the sharp edge against the fragile skin on your wrist. You took a deep breath as you slid it across the skin, not even wincing at the pain. The blood rolling out of the wound was beautiful to you, a therapy in itself. You laid the arm over the bathtub, taking another slice at your wrist.

You had to be careful not to go too close to the hand or else the sweaters you wore could ride up and expose you, and you couldn’t make too many cuts or someone would be bound to notice.

Once you had made 4 slits in your skin, you stopped. The razor fell to the edge of the bathtub as you watched the blood drip down your arm, gravity pulling it towards your hand to pool in your palm. As fucked up as it was, you liked the view. The pain barely registered to you anymore.

It felt like all the fears were draining from your body with the blood. You knew it would all come back eventually, but in this moment, you felt peace. Your stomach stopped turning and your chest loosened. And for just a little while, the voices in your head were gone.

You laid there for probably 30 minutes, the peaceful silence engulfing you. Eventually you came back to your senses, realizing the mess you had made. You sighed, standing up and turning the faucet on. You watched the blood that sat in the tub wash away before running your arm under the water. It stung a bit, but the blood disappeared from your arm, leaving you with the visual of 4 dark red cuts.

Once the tub was clean, you moved to the cabinets under the sink again, this time grabbing a package of band-aids and covering the marks that were bleeding slightly after the water pressure opened them up again. You ran the blade under water from the sink to clean it before throwing it back in the bag and hiding it. Satisfied that all evidence of your sins was gone, you pulled down the sleeves of your sweater and made your way to your couch to watch a true crime documentary.

A little over a half hour later Colson texted you.

Picking up your favorite food :)

Be over in 10

You smiled at your phone for a second before guilt crept into your mind. How could you think that he doesn’t care about you? He’s never done anything but love you.

You are the world’s worst girlfriend.

You bit your lip, trying to make the thoughts go away. You didn’t want to be upset when Colson got there, it would spoil his whole night.

It didn’t quite work, but you were able to put on a fake smile when he got to your door. He set the bags of food on your coffee table before flopping on top of you on the couch. His face buried into your neck, pressing soft kisses onto the skin all over. He did this whenever he knew you were sad, it made you laugh.

He sat up, looking down on you, “how’s my girl doing?” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“Better now that you’re here.” You mumbled, throwing your clothed arms around his middle and pulling him back against you. He chuckled and flipped you around so his back was against the couch and you were resting on his chest.

You smiled at him, you don’t deserve him, the voice screamed. You ignored it, burying your head into his shirt, the smell of him filling your nose. “What’re we watching?”

Your voice was muffled by the fabric, “The Vanishing of Elisa Lam.”

He looked up, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head, “of course we are.”

“We can watch something else.” You mumbled. Colson chuckled and sat up, pulling you with him to rest in his lap, your back against his chest.

His long arm reached to grab the food off the table, setting one box in your hands. “Your weird true crime show is fine, babe. You choose tonight.” He kissed your cheek, making you smile and sink further into his chest.

A little while passed and you had both finished your food, placing the empty boxes on the table. Colson’s arms were around your waist and you moved to hold his hands. You had tried wrapped your palm over the back of his hand, but he flipped his hand so his palm encased yours. As the documentary played, he began to rub circles into your skin subconsciously, moving down your wrist slowly.

In his arms you momentarily forgot about your session in the bathroom from earlier, but when his thumb brushed against the bandage on your arm you were shocked back into reality. “What’s that?” He mumbled, chin resting on your shoulder and looking down to the shirt sleeve.

“Nothing, I cut myself doing dishes earlier.” You lied, it being second nature at this point.

Colson’s hand moved to the edge of your sleeve, moving to roll it up. “You’re so clumsy sometimes.”

You yanked your arm out of his hand as you felt the fabric moving up, “what are you doing?” You asked, holding your arm closer to yourself subconsciously.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “I was gonna kiss it better.” He mumbled.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to.” You sighed, turning your attention back to the TV. He didn’t like that answer and based off of your reaction, he could tell something was up.

He reached to hold your arm again, and you relaxed into his touch, thinking he would just hold your hand. Instead, he dragged your sleeve up your arm, exposing four band-aids on your wrist and older, exposed scars.

“Colson!” You yelled, standing up and wiggling out of his grasp.

He had a shocked expression on his face that slowly turned into a mixture of concern and hurt. He tried to form words but was struggling. Finally, he got out a whispered “why?”

You bit your tongue, arms wrapped around your body as you faced away from him. Your breathing got heavy and you could feel tears coming to your eyes. He’s definitely gonna leave you now.

When you didn’t respond he stood up slowly, walking towards you and wrapping his arms around you. His lips met the top of your head briefly before replacing them with his chin.

The feeling of his embrace was enough to send your walls crashing down, tears finally falling down your face. You shook in his arms, your knees buckling under you. He whispered as he held you up, “hey hey hey hey, I’m here, baby. I’m right here. You can talk to me.” He led you back to the couch, pulling you back into his lap. You turned towards him and buried your face into his chest. His arms wrapped around you tighter than they ever had before.

Your sniffles filled the room, followed by your quiet “I’m sorry.”

Colson shook his head, taking your face in his hand and moving it away from his skin so you were forced to look at him. “You don’t have to be sorry.” You nodded and he slowly wiped the tears from under your eyes. The soft motion made you calm down ever so slightly. After a few minutes of being held, your sobs stopped, tears not falling as hard. “Can we talk about this.”

You sniffled but nodded your head, your eyes not meeting his. “I’m not gonna be upset with you, or angry. I just need you to be honest with me, okay?” He asked, his blue eyes searching your face. You simply nodded again, turning your head all the way down so your nose was parallel to the floor. The top of your head pressed against Colson’s chest.

“How long?” His voice was a whisper, but it held an infinity of emotion.

You mumbled out a response, “a while.” You could feel how fast his heart was beating, “Before I met you. It’s just gotten a lot worse lately.”

He nodded, sucking his lips in. “Why didn’t you talk to me? You know you can always talk to me, darling.”

New tears fell from your eyes. “I tried to.” You whispered, feeling guilty. His hand moved to tuck a piece of your hair behind your ear.

He took a few moments to remember what you were talking about before he sighed. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that you were so upset. I didn’t know.” He whispered, “But I know now, so from now on you gotta tell me if you feel like doing this to yourself.”

You nodded against him. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that. Don’t be sorry, why are you sorry?” He asked

You shrugged, “sorry you have to deal with me.”

He grabbed your face again, this time forcing you to look him in the eyes. “Don’t ever say that again. Okay? I fucking love you. You’re going through some shit right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop loving you. I don’t want you to ever think that.” As he spoke his harsh tone got softer, quieter.

“I just don’t feel like I’m good enough, for anything.” You slumped into him, your head laying on his shoulder.

His arms pulled you further into him, “Y/N, you are the smartest, most amazing, most beautiful person I’ve ever met. You’re literally about to become a doctor! That’s fucking incredible. I am so proud of you.”

“’m not really gonna be a doctor.” You mumbled, “I can’t get this fucking thesis approved.”

He sighed into your hair, “You are going to get through this. You have worked your ass off to get here, I know you’re not gonna let a stupid paper get in your way.” He pressed a kiss into your hair and you looked up to him, a pout still on your face. “Baby you aren’t just good enough, you’re better. I know it feels shitty right now but you’re gonna get through this. And I’m gonna be right here with you.”

He leaned down and pressed a deep kiss to your lips. It took a second, but you kissed him back. “Thank you.” You whispered when you pulled away, reaching up to wipe your tears away with the sleeve of your sweatshirt.

“I love you.” He whispered, “do you think we could throw your blades away?” He asked softly.

“I might need your help.” You whispered. He nodded, lifting you off his lap and standing up. He grabbed your hand and you led him to your bathroom. You found the bag and handed it to him. “I can’t…” You whispered, trying to stop the tears you felt behind your eyes.

Colson nodded, taking it from you and opening it, frowning at the metal inside. “I don’t want to throw them away here, because you could get them out of the trash later. So, I’m gonna take them back to my house tomorrow and I’ll throw them out there.”

You nodded, hand squeezing his. You moved closer to him, resting your free hand on his shoulder, and pressing your cheek against his chest. “I love you.”

He smiled down at you, wrapping his arm around you, “I love you too.”

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk angst #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson baker angst #colson imagine

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maddiwrites · 3 years

Text

Secrets of the Shore

Pairing: Pogues x OC, eventually JJ x OC

Summary: This is just my rewrite of the show Outer Banks with my own twist by adding another main character which also happens to be John B’s twin sister.

Note: Thank you so much for all the nice things you guys have said about chapter one! A couple people have asked to be tagged for every update so I started a tag list. If you would like to be tagged, please message me! I hope I got everyone who asked and if I didn’t please let me know. Next chapter, you’ll learn more about Marleigh and her personality so bare with me (: Gonna post updates every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday (:

Another Note: Apparently my hashtags didn’t work the last time so I’m reposting this. I don’t know what happened. Sorry! Let me know if they worked this time (:

Word Count: 7.9k

Warnings: None

Chapter One

I wake up to the rustling of John B walking through the Chateau, kicking over empty beer cans and muttering to himself. He mentions something about service, but I can barely understand through the fog in my own head that's still heavy with sleep.

"Yo, JJ," He says and I hear a slap against bare skin. "You been outside?"

"I have polio, bro," JJ grumbles into his pillow. "I can't walk."

I peek one eye open. The sunlight coming in through the window blinds me for a second. I'm curled into myself with my back to JJ. He's sleeping on his stomach, his left arm slung over my side.

I groan as I pull myself up and lean against the back of the couch. Stretching my arms, I turn to look out the window. Even with just a quick glimpse, I can see the mess in our back yard Hurricane Agatha made. A wash of frustration runs through me when I think about all the work we're going to have to do to clean it up. Not just here but on Figure Eight too. No way those Kooks get their hands dirty for this.

I swing my legs over the mattress and follow my brother outside after hearing JJ mumble something about me leaving. His morning voice sends a rush of warmth to my chest and I have to hold back the grin that's fighting it's way on my lips.

The first thing I see is the giant tree that now lays across our yard, ripped out of its roots. Had the wind been blowing the other way, it would have landed on our house and we would have been screwed.

"Damn," I whistle, still scanning the damage. John B's pulling branches out of the HMS Pogue. Somehow our small boat has managed to survive the storm. I look over to the chicken coop that's to the side of our home. The roosters are crowing which means they're alive too.

"Agatha did some work, huh?" JJ says from the porch door. He already has a beer in his hand as he studies our yard. I know he's already thinking about the labor he'll have to put into other people's yards too.

"Yeah, she did," My brother says, looking out into the water.

"What you thinking?"

John B looks back with a smirk on his lips. "I'm thinking that storm surge pushed all the crabs out on the marsh maze. All those drum are gonna chase the crab."

"What about the DCS? Wasn't that today?" JJ asks, looking between my brother and I.

He shakes his head. "Nah, they're not getting on a ferry." He hops down from the boat and approaches us. "Come on, think about it. It's God tellin' us to fish."

JJ smirks back at him. "Yeah."

"Let me get changed first," I tell them before turning back into my house.

No lights turn on when I flick the switch on my bedroom wall. Now I know what John B was muttering about when he first woke up. I pull up the blinds on my windows to let some kind of light through my room. Then I hold up two bathing suits in my mirror, trying to pick between the blue one or the floral one.

"I like the blue one," JJ says, welcoming himself into my room. I swivel around in surprise. I thought I locked my door. I glare at the intrusion but he ignores it, his smirk only growing. "Matches your eyes and if I remember correctly, the bottoms are more cheeky than the other ones."

I throw the floral bikini top in his direction, which he skillfully dodges. I don't know if it was JJ's opinion or if I was already leaning towards the blue bathing suit, but that's the one I choose.

As JJ ruffles through his duffel bag on my dresser, I go to the bathroom to change. I throw on another pair of jean shorts and a T shirt and follow the boys out to the dock where they're already getting the boat ready.

Its kind of routine when the Pogues have a boat day. We make our way through the marsh, first picking up Pope and then Kie, who will more than likely have a cooler packed with drinks and snacks. We'll stay on the water for hours, getting sunburnt and drunk until the sun goes down or one of us wants to go back to surf.

I look over the damage that Hurricane Agatha as tortured onto our side of the island. Everyone's yard looks just like mine. Fallen trees and branches litter their back yards. Some boats have sunken into the water, and not a single house looks like they have power.

"Good morning!" John B yells to the residents as we drive by. Always the friendly face he is.

"Sure hope Guffy's boat didn't sink," JJ says, standing on the front of the boat, looking into the yards. "He doesn't have insurance."

"Yeah."

"Hi, Miss Amy!" I wave to the woman raking the leaves and picking up sticks. She looks up at us and waves back, taking a break from the yard work. "You guys get through it?"

She motions to her yard and shrugs her shoulders. "Still here!"

She goes back to her yard work and JJ immediately turns around and looks at John B with a proud smile. "She totally looked at me."

"I saw it." John B smirks back, playing along.

I roll my eyes and lean further back into the boat, pulling my sunglasses over my eyes and muttering the word 'idiot.'

"Dude look at this place." JJ whistles. "Agatha what did you do?"

"She is a crazy lady."

"Hard-core Hurricane surge. We'll be cleaning this all summer."

"That's my nightmare."

"Well, look who we have here," JJ says, making me look up at the dock we're closely approaching.

I make my way to the front of the boat to stand next to JJ as we get closer to Pope's dock where he is standing with his father already on clean up duty.

John B talks into his shoulder like a cop radios his partners and changes his voice to sound like he's speaking through a megaphone. "We have a safety meeting. Attendance mandatory." He even mimics the static noise those horns make.

Pope looks at us defeated. "I can't. My pop's got me on lockdown."

"Come on, Pope!" I groan.

JJ does the same thing as John B and talks into his shoulder, using the same voice. "Your dad's a pussy. Over."

Heyward approaches the railing of his deck and points at JJ with a glare. "Oh, I heard that, you little bastard."

I can't help but laugh at the interaction.

"We need your son!" I add.

"Yeah, and island rule. Day after a hurricane's a free day," JJ says.

"Who made that up?" Heyward continues to glare at him.

"Uh, Pentagon, I think. We have security clearance." JJ pretends to check his pockets. "I have a card."

"Think I'm stupid?"

Pope turns to his father with pleading eyes. "I'll do it tomorrow. I promise. Tomorrow."

Immediately his father shakes his head. "You think - no. No." Pope looks at us, silently conflicted. "Hell no," His dad says, reading his son's face. "You doin' it right now."

Pope looks back at us. When he finds my eyes I nod my head and wave him closer to me. "Come on. Get in the boat."

"Make a run for it," JJ says too.

Heyward glares at us. "Boy if you get in that boat -"

Pope doesn't wait to hear the rest of that sentence. He's already taking off towards us. JJ's there, ready to help him in before his dad can catch up to him. I clap my hands and wrap my arms around his neck in a tight hug when he makes it in. John B immediately starts driving away.

"How does that feel?" JJ says.

Pope can't even enjoy the moment completely. His dad yells at us as we float away and he's waving to John B to drive faster. "Go, go, go, go."

"Bring your ass back up here!" Heyward continues to yell at us.

Pope turns to yell back at his dad. "I promise I'll do it tomorrow, Dad."

"You're gonna clean shrimp, clean fish -"

"Love you pops!"

"Love you pops!" I repeat, falling back in my seat at the end of the boat and laughing up at the sky.

"We'll bring him back in one piece!" John B yells. "I promise."

"And I don't like your friends!" Is the last thing we hear from him.

A couple minutes later, we're driving down Kook land. Kie is already at the edge of her dock, holding a cooler like I knew she would. Her curly brunette hair falls behind her shoulders. I wish I had hair like her's.

JJ walks to the side to help her in. He holds out his hand for her to take. "Oh, top o' the mornin' to ya."

"Good morning," She says, moving to the end of the boat to take a seat next to me.

"Morning," John B and I say.

"Whatcha got?" Pope asks her. "You got some juice boxes?"

"You know, just some yogurts and carrot sticks," She replies sarcastically, using her shoulder to shove me slightly when I scoff.

"How about my kind of juice box?" JJ says, falling on the seat on the other side of me.

"Yeah." Kie pulls out the bottles of beer and hands them out. The three of us cheer when we pop the cap off. I let the carbonated bread water, as I like to call it, slide down my throat. Beer always taste better in the boat in the summer.

John B and Pope switch seats, leaving Pope behind the wheel.

"Brace for impact," Pope says as he picks up speed now that we're past the 'No Wake' zone. My hair flies behind my shoulders as the wind rushes past me.

JJ stands up and holds out his hands in the air, basking in the breeze and morning sun. "Bet you can't do this. Party trick." I narrow my eyes at him, glaring through the beaming sun. "Hey, Pope. Can you go a little faster?"

"Here we go. I'm movin'," Pope says.

John B shakes his and watches JJ hold out the beer in front of his face. "Doesn't work."

"We've tried this like six thousand times," I say through my laugh. I look back down at Kie who is also rolling her eyes playfully.

"I got this. It's gonna work," JJ says.

JJ tilts the beer bottle towards his mouth letting the momentum and the wind pull the beer out of the bottle and splash on his face, barely hitting his open mouth like he intended it to. The excessive beer splashes down on mine and Kie's skin.

"You're getting beer in my hair!" Kie complains, moving to the other side of the boat next to John B.

JJ doesn't stop. He keeps moving his head to catch the liquid but he will never move fast enough to catch the mess he's creating.

"All right. All right. You're done." John B says.

"All right, stop!" Kie says, everyone somewhat annoyed that they're going to smell like beer for the next twelve hours.

Before JJ could even consider listening to any of us, the boat comes to a complete halt, jerking us forward and sending JJ flying off the boat. I slam onto the floor of the boat on my side. A small groan escapes my lips as a dull pain shoots through my hipbone.

"Jesus, Pope!" Kie yells. When I look up, she and John B are also on the floor. The steering wheel broke Pope's fall.

I pull myself up and fall back on my original seat. I twist my body around to look for JJ in the water. John B calls for him, asking if he's okay. His head peeks out from the water's surface and squints back at us with a grimace.

"I think my heels touched the back of my head."

I laugh at the exaggerated statement.

"Kie, Mar, you guys okay?" John B asks.

I look back to see Kie pulling herself off the ground and falling next to John B in the seat next to him. He rubs the skin on her back comfortingly. She smiles at him gratefully and nods her head. I keep my stare there for a few more long seconds. Recently Kie and John B have been hanging out more closely with one another. Obviously, they're best friends like the rest of us, but they're always picking the seat that's next to one another. Touches linger on the other's skin, and even Kie is laughing at John B's not so funny jokes.

"Pope what did you do?" JJ swims back to the boat.

"Sandbar," Pope says, looking out into the water. "Channel changed."

"No shit."

"This is probably gonna mess this whole place up," John B says.

"Hey, I saved the beer, though."

A sarcastic scoff blows past my lips and I shake my head. "Congrats, JJ."

"Guys..." I look back over at Pope who's fixated on something in the water as he stands on the side of the boat, unmoving. Barely blinking. "I think there's a boat down there."

"Shut up. What?"

"No way."

"No, no, guys. I'm serious. There's a boat down there," Pope says.

I follow the others to the side of the boat to find what Pope is staring at. I'm ready to tell Pope he's seeing things and needs to get a couple more hours of sleep, but to my surprise he is right. A couple feet below the murky water is the silhouette of an overturned boat.

"Guys...is this..." John B says slowly.

"It's a boat!" Kie says.

I'm the first one to start stripping out of my clothes, curiosity overwhelming me. I want to see what's down there...if someone is down there.

"Guys, wait up!" I hear Pope yell as soon as I dive into the water next to JJ.

I swim deeper into the water, ignoring the thudding pain in my ears as I sink further into the marsh. The salt water slightly stings my eyes, but it isn't anything I'm not already use to. You kind of get use to it after wiping out in the ocean every time you surf.

The boat's bigger than the water's surface made it out to be. I don't think it's real until I feel the smooth exterior under my fingertips. I push myself a little deeper before I run out of air. I try looking through the open bars into the driver's seat. A part of me is afraid of what I might see, but I have to know. I have to make sure there's no one in here. Trapped and decaying all alone. My biggest fear is that my dad is somewhere in the middle of the ocean submerged in that same position.

However, I'm relieved when I don't see a dead body floating around the steering wheel.

When I feel my chest tighten, I push myself up to the surface. I gasp for air the second the cool breeze hits my face.

"You guys saw that?" JJ pants.

"Yeah!"

"Yeah I did!"

"Yeah!"

We swim back to the boat. John B climbs up first then holds out his hand for me to take. JJ is right behind me and pulls himself up.

"See?" He smirks at me when John B moves to help Pope and Kie up the boat. "Cheeky."

I shove his chest back with two hands. He falls back into the seat I had originally occupied, laughing to himself. I roll my eyes and throw my jean shorts back on when my legs are dry.

I both love it and hate it when JJ makes comments like that. It makes my heart flutter every time and fireworks explode in my stomach. But every euphoric feeling I get dissipates within seconds when I remember that the two of us will never happen. Because he's my brother's best friend. Because he's my best friend. And I can't ruin that like I ruin everything else in my life.

JJ turns to the rest of our friends and runs his fingers through his wet and tangled hair. "That's a Grady-White. A new one of those is like 500 Gs, easy. That's a primo rig."

"Yeah. That's the boat we saw when we surfed the surge." John B says, catching my attention. "Maybe it hit the jetty or something."

The memory of last night sprints to the front of my brain. The boat. I should have expected it to sink, but shouldn't have someone been behind the wheel? Whoever it was, I hope they made it out alive. I can't help but feel a small sliver of hope for that person since I didn't find them trapped inside the boat. With that sliver of hope came the reminder of my dad's disappearance like a slap in the face. Maybe if something had happened to him, he could have made it out alive too.

No. He is dead, I tell myself.

"You surfed the surge?" Kie's voice brings me out of my head. Her voice is strong and laced with disapproval.

"That's my boy. Pogue style!" JJ cheers.

"Why are you only looking at me? It was Marleigh's idea!" John B points an accusatory finger my way, hoping to take some of the blame off of motherly Kie.

Kie turns to glare at me. "What the heck?"

"Pope was there too!" I follow John B's lead by pointing my finger at someone else. This in return earns Pope a glare from our curly brunette friend.

"They guilted me into it! Said if they didn't have another pair of eyes, they'd probably drown and no one would be there to save them," Pope says with a glare. "They're lucky I was there. I was the one who saw Mar go under."

"I was fine!" I roll my eyes at Pope's dramatized version of events.

"Wait, wait." JJ interrupts the bickering. "Do we know whose boat that is?"

John B shakes his head and walks to the back of the boat where JJ and I are standing. "No, but we're about to find out."

"Dude, it's too deep."

"Oh, for the weak and feeble, JJ."

JJ makes his way to the opposite side of boat next to Kie and Pope. He digs into the cooler for another beer and takes a long swig. "Well, I'm not resuscitating you. I'm just making that clear up front."

John B pulls the anchor up and untangles it from the chains. "That's fine." He holds the anchor close to his chest, using the extra weight to drag him down further into the water. He catches Kie's disappointed glare and sighs. "What?"

Pope looks between the two and brings his hand up as a salute to my brother. "Diver down, fool."

John B nods. "Diver down."

JJ walks up to him and shoves him in the water by his chest before he can change his mind. "Yeah, he is."

John B's body disappears behind the muddy water. No one says anything as we wait. Kie bounces anxiously next to me on her toes. Her hands grip the edge of the boat until her knuckles turn white. I want to say something to her, to make her relax, but I don't want to embarrass her in front of the other two idiots on the boat.

"Should we go get him?" Pope asks after it's been a minute.

Before Kie can jump into the water, John B resurfaces, coughing water out of his mouth.

"Oh my God." Kie scowls. "That took forever."

I shake my head with a small smile on my lips and take the anchor from his hands.

"Any dead bodies?" Pope asks.

"Looting potential?" JJ follows up.

John B pulls himself into the boat. I hand him a towel.

"No. No." He shakes his head but holds something small in his hand. "But I found this motel key."

"A key," Pope says with no emotion, clearly not as excited as John B.

"Yeah, a key, Pope."

"Great!" JJ snags the key out of his hand and looks at it. "We salvaged a motel key."

"Guys, we should report the wreck to the coast guard," Kie says.

I agree with Kie. "Maybe we'll get a finder's fee."

"Yeah and not work all summer," JJ says. "Thanks Agatha, ya batch."

John B drives us back to the shore, but we don't go to the Chateau. We go to the coast guard to report the boat.

I'm not surprised to see the coast guard's post surrounded with people, shouting complaints and concerns. There is no designated line for people to professionally line themselves up. At least, if there is, no one is following the order.

I decide to wait with Pope and Kie in the boat while John B and JJ try to report the sunken boat. I rest my legs on the cooler and bask in the late morning sun with the spare couple of seconds I have in silence.

However those seconds are short-lived when I feel someone kick my legs off the cooler, almost knocking me off my seat.

"What the -"

Then I feel an upward slap to the back of my head. "The surge!"

"Ow, Kie!"

"You could have died out there!"

"But I didn't." I offer a guilty smile. When she doesn't smile back, I sigh and sit myself up straighter. "It's fun, Kie. You'll never know until you try it. You should come out with us next time."

"Your brother would have never let you do it, let alone join you."

Her words make me pause. It's true John B use to be more responsible. Out of the two us, he was always the one to keep us both in line. Sometimes he would be like a second father to me. He always protected me, bandaged me up, and took the fall for mistakes I made. Now he is following in my footsteps. Taking more risks with an act-now-think-later mentality. All of our friends know he's doing this to deal with our dad's disappearance. Unlike Kie, I don't think what he's doing is wrong. He's having more fun, and he's not going to kill himself doing it.

It's better than what I was doing when I tried forgetting about what might of happened to my dad.

The boys return with blank faces. I can already tell that the coast guards couldn't care less about their problem, let alone if they even listened.

"Well, that went well," John B says.

"So what's the plan?" I ask, ignoring Kie's deadly stare on the side of my head.

"I know how we're gonna find the guy who owns that boat." John B holds up the key with a mischievous smirk.

"We don't know who's room that is." Pope is quick to try to stop him. "It could be anyone."

Shockingly, Kie doesn't take Pope's side. She slaps her hands to the back of his shoulders and giggles. "Come on. I'll be lookout."

After JJ unties the boat from the dock, John B steers the boat in the direction of the motel.

"Finder's fee," John B shrugs. "Just saying."

"And hey, at least you'll only be an accomplice," JJ says as he stands next to John B, smirking down at a disapproving Pope.

"Man," Pope complains.

"Come on, bubba," John B laughs.

A couple minutes later, we pull up to the dock outside the motel, in front of the parking lot. I've seen run down motels before, but this one looks like it could be used in a horror movie. The wooden siding is peeling off, littering the pavement below. The railing on the balcony looks less than stable, most slabs even missing.

JJ whistles. "I thought the Chateau looked bad."

"This place is a shit show," John B agrees.

"Motel or meth lab?" Kie says.

"You be the judge," says Pope.

"Doesn't look like a place somebody with a Grady-White stays," I say, confused as to why a man living here had a boat as expensive as the one we found.

"No. Looks like a place someone with a Grady-White would get killed," Pope says.

JJ walks to the edge of the boat to tie us to the dock. I come up behind him to help.

"This is your captain speaking. HMS Pogue comin' in for landing," JJ announces.

"We good?" John B asks as I tie the last knot.

"Yeah, we good," JJ replies.

I get out of the boat first and flip my sunglasses on top of my head. There's only two cars in the parking lot, which is good news. Less chances of us getting caught.

"All right. Here goes nothin'," John B says, hopping out of the boat next to me. JJ follows.

As we turn to walk away, Pope calls out for us to stop. "Hey!"

"Yeah?" John B asks.

"Don't let them do anything stupid," He tells my brother, nodding towards JJ and I with his head. I stick my tongue out at him but he doesn't acknowledge it.

JJ wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side. "Oh, we will."

I laugh and shove him off of me.

John B laughs too before turning to Pope. "I'm not making any promises."

"Yeah I know," Pope finally sighs.

"Hey!" Kie walks to the side of the boat that's next to the dock. Neither John B or Kie say anything for a moment. They both just stand there, looking at each other for about two seconds too long. If I were any closer, I'd be able to see them blushing like crazy. "Uh, be careful." She looks over his shoulder at JJ and I who are watching them with raised brows and amused expressions. "I mean it."

"Yeah," John B chuckles and follows JJ and I out to the stairs that will bring us to the second floor of the motel.

The smell of the motel is almost as bad as it looks. Like a sweat box drenched in urine with a hint of cigarette smoke. Stacked on the side of the building near every room is a bare mattress, not one of them without a yellow or brown stain.

"Why are all these mattresses out?" I ask.

"After a hurricane, they ditch 'em 'cause they're moldy," JJ answers me before turning to slap his hands on John B's shoulders. He raises his voice an octave higher to mimic Kie and pretends to fawn over him. "Just be so careful, John."

John B pushes him away and rolls his eyes. "God, you're so weird."

"What was that about?" JJ continues.

"I don't know. Maybe she wants us to be careful." My brother plays dumb. It makes me roll my eyes. I don't know if he's just trying to avoid the conversation or if he's just that blind.

"Since she heard you're being threatened with exile, she's just been, like -" Again JJ raises his voice and clings onto John B's arm. "Oh be careful John B."

John B pushes him off again. "Get off."

JJ continues, "Oh, give me that John D already." He drops his voice back to normal. "When are you gonna swoop on that, man?"

I roll my eyes and lead the way. Most of the curtains are pulled down on every window. The doors lining the walls look thin enough that I could fall through them and accidentally whip them open. Even the wood I'm standing on doesn't seem sturdy enough. I feel like I'm going to fall through it with every step.

"Bro, you know the rule. No pogue-on-pogue macking."

"Yeah, trust me. I know that rule."

I look over my shoulder at the blonde boy, only to find him staring straight back at me. He quickly winks at me before I turn back around. Something flutters in my stomach.

"You're the one always hitting on her," John B retaliates.

"Of course I'm always hitting on her," JJ says. And just like that, the flutters are gone and replaced with something that more resembles nausea. "She's a super-hot, rich, hippie chick slumming with us. Why? I can't figure it out either, but who cares, bro? I know that door's locked because I've tried it. Have you?"

"You need help."

"You both need help," I say, keeping my eyes on the numbers on each door. We're getting close.

"Not a little help, you need a lot of help," John B continues, ignoring me completely. "It's like every girl who just has a heartbeat, you're like...'Uhh.'"

We finally reach room twenty nine and I turn to look at the two knuckleheads with a glare. I love being their friend and all but sometimes the bro talk needs to stay within the bros.

"What? It's not a big deal," JJ says more to me than John B which only makes me roll my eyes more. "You do the same thing."

"Shut up. This is us. Twenty-nine," I say.

JJ sighs and walks to the other side of me to peek into the window. When he doesn't see anything he knocks on the door. In an even higher pitched voice he says, "Housekeeping." I look behind us to make sure no one is looking.

"Should we try it?" John B asks.

"Yeah," JJ and I say at the same time, taking a step back so John B can use the key to let us in.

"No power. No security cameras. No one's gonna know," JJ says as a final push to invade this guy's privacy and ransack his room. Find out why he has a Grady-White and how we can get equally as lucky.

The door opens with a loud creak. The inside looks just as bad as the outside. Musty, dirty, and smells like the actual housekeepers haven't visited for weeks. Maybe months. As suspected the power is out and the windows are so dirty that barely any natural light can peek through them.

On the full size bed is a small green duffel bag and a pack of cigarettes. Next to it is a pillow I would not trust laying my head. Dirty laundry surrounds it on the floor and if I listen closely, I'm pretty sure I can hear a mouse squeaking away in a corner.

"Check the bag. See if there's a name on there somewhere," John B tells me.

I grimace as I reach my hand below the zipper. I don't know what I'm going to find in there but my mind immediately thinks there's a severed head laying in the bag. In a motel like this, the idea isn't far fetched. But instead, I pull out a coat.

"A jacket," I tell them. Nothing special but at least it's not a head.

John B holds up a pair of shoes. "Denim slides."

I look at the tag and run my fingers through the pockets. There's nothing that tells me who it belongs to. "No name on the jacket."

"It's a nice jacket though," JJ says, walking up next to me and taking it from my hands to look at it. "Definitely over 50."

John B holds up another pair of shoes. "He's got New Balances."

JJ finds a small map on the night stand and holds it out to the light. "Yo, dude, come here. Maybe this is where they were fishing."

John B grabs the map to look at it. "Let me see."

"Right there." JJ points at the part that's circled in red pen.

"No, that's off the continental shelf. That's Big Swell. Nobody fished there."

John B tucks the map in his back pocket and moves to the other side of the room. He picks up a cup and sniffs it, immediately pulling it away with a cringe. "Coffee?" He offers me the mug.

"Yeah," I reply sarcastically, turning away to shuffle through the random pieces of paper on the nightstand. Just a couple of receipts from the donut shop down the street. Nothing that has a name on it. Plus a piece of paper that has random numbers on it.

"Standard. Tissues when you get lonely," JJ says from the bathroom, tossing anything that seems invaluable over his shoulder into the dirty bath tub behind him. "Oh!"

"What?" I look up at him, hopeful that he found something that we actually came looking for. Although, I don't really know what that is yet. "Did you find anything?"

"A really awesome Dopp kit your brother won't let me steal."

John B smirks at him. "Yeah, 'cause we're not stealing shit."

JJ groans and throws the kit over his shoulder with the other crap he's not taking.

John B opens the cabinet under the TV stand. He drops to his knees when he finds a small safe with a padlock protecting it. I walk up behind him and squat next to him, narrowing my attention at the codes he's trying. I roll my eyes at the first one. "One-one-one-one." The safe beeps at the incorrect password. Then he tries "One-one, one, two." Again the safe beeps at us three times.

"Punching shit at random. That will...definitely work," JJ says behind us. He bends down to pull the map back out of John B's pocket to look at it.

"Wait a second," I say, turning back to the nightstand with the paper that had the four random numbers on it. It suddenly makes sense. "Here."

"I don't know. I don't know about the second one," JJ says, more to himself because John B and I are more focused on the safe. "These coordinates, they...wait. My cousin said you could catch swordfish here."

"Six, one, six, six, six," John B mutters to himself.

"Six, six, six. That can't be a good sign," I say.

"Nah, that wouldn't make any sense," JJ shakes his head to himself. "What about a surf spot?"

The safe's lock clicks instead of beeps at us. The metal door pops open, inviting us in. John B looks at me with a proud and giddy grin. I can't help but let out a breathy laugh and open the safe completely.

"Holy shit," John B curses when we finally see what's in the safe. My eyes grow wide at what we find. Stacks of one hundred dollar bills and a gun. The find only confuses me more. If this guy had money like this, why was he staying here? "Uh...JJ."

"Hm?" JJ finally hums after having a long conversation with himself.

"You're gonna want to see this," I say, smirking up at him.

I stand up from my spot so JJ could get a good look. He crouches down next to my brother and the smile on his face is similar to a child on Christmas morning.

He reaches in and instead of grabbing the money, he grabs the gun. I can't say I'm surprised. This is JJ we're talking about.

"You grabbed the gun," John B scoffs but can't hide the grin on his face.

"This is a SIG Sauer!" JJ exclaims, holding it up in the air and admiring it.

"Put the gun back, JJ," John B says.

"This is a fucking spendy gatt, man. Just..." JJ points the gun in front of him and pretends to fire it. "Bam! Bam!" I duck out of the way. I know he's just pretending but I wouldn't be surprised if he accidentally shot it because he was too excited. "Bam! Bam!"

"Jesus JJ," I hiss. "Quit it."

"Hey, think about it! Bam! Bam!"

"We're not stealing anything," John B says.

"Just take a pic of me. Right here," JJ holds the gun to his chest and points it up at the ceiling, posing with it.

"You want me to take a picture of you?" I purse my lips and raise one brow at him.

"Yeah, like..."

"Make our own incriminating evidence? Is that what you're talking about?"

A light tapping from the back window stops us all from our tiny bickering match. All three of our heads turn to the window, confused.

"Wait what was that?" John B says first.

JJ and I follow him to the window. He pulls the curtain to the side and presses his face against the dusty glass. Pope and Kie are jumping up and down and waving their hands like two idiots and pointing at a car parked in the lot. Their voices come through the glass quietly, but just loud enough for us to hear them say, "Cops! Cops! Cops!"

"Shit," John B pushes off the window.

"What is it?" JJ asks.

"Cops."

On cue, there's knocks coming from the other side of the door. "Kildare County Sheriff's Department!"

"Shit," I curse to myself and push myself in front of the boys. The only way we are getting out is through the window. JJ and John B climb out first. JJ holds out his hand for me to take right as the door knobs squeaks.

The jump is too high. All three of us would break our ankles if we tried. The only option we have is to stick it out on the roof and hope the cops don't look out the window.

The roof is small since the window sits on the side of the building. The only way the three of us will fit is if I'm pressed against the siding with JJ pressed behind me. Which is the exact position we're in. My right foot dangles off the side of the roof to make as much room for JJ as I can so we're as flat against the building as possible. I can hear his racing heart against my back and I can't help but wonder if it's from the adrenaline rush of being caught by the cops or being pressed up against me.

I know why my heart's beating like mad.

I try to even my breathing so I can listen in on what's happening inside. The cops' voices are muffled through the walls. I glance at John B who is trying to peek inside. His brows furrow together in confusion at what he's seeing. When he looks up at me, I mouth "what" but he only shakes his head.

JJ tries to shuffle around his footing, which only makes him fumble more and lose his balance. I can't help the gasp that escapes my mouth. I grip on to both JJ and the corner of the wall so neither one of us fall. Unfortunately, as I try to save both of our lives, the gun slips out of JJ's pocket and creates an even bigger scene.

I squeeze my eyes tight and press myself deeper into the rotting wooden siding of the motel, praying that the police think it was only a bird or a squirrel. When I peek one eye open, I see John B grimacing against the building too. He shakes his head again for me and JJ not to move.

Minutes feel like hours as we wait, but eventually we hear the door close and the voices of the police officers on the balcony outside.

I exhale a deep breath and just about dive back into the room head first.

The boys follow me out the door the cops just walked out of and we meet Kie and Pope back at the boat. When they see us approaching, they both let out a sigh of relief.

"Well, that was fun," JJ says as we step back into the boat. My safe spot with nothing but water if we fall off.

"Could have warned us sooner," John B says lightly.

Kie rolls her eyes. "We would have except Pope was on the math team."

JJ turns to look at our geeky friend. "You were on the math team?"

"The cops took everything," John B says before another bickering fest could erupt between JJ and Pope. I turn to look at John B. That's what he must've seen in the room. "Like it was a crime scene."

"Did you guys find anything?" Pope asks.

"Did we find anything?" JJ says with a smirk. "No I don't think so." He holds up the gun and a stack of one hundred dollar bills. His smile grows wider. "Oh, yeah, we did."

Of course he stole them.

Pope and Kie jump up from their seats and look at JJ like he's grown two heads.

"What the hell?" Pope says in awe.

"What the hell?" Kie scowls.

"Dude, chill. Come on," JJ says, relaxed.

"Why take that from a crime scene?" Kie asks. She looks at me for some kind of explanation but I only shrug in response. I don't know what goes on in JJ's head.

JJ shrugs. "Better than cops having it."

"You serious?" Kie looks at John B who only gives her the same response I do.

Pope sits back down with his head in his hands. "I'm going to lose my merit scholarship."

JJ walks over to him and wraps his arms around his shoulders from behind him. "Hey, hey, shh, shh, shh. At least you have us, right?"

"I'm living the nightmare."

I laugh at Pope's theatrics even though I know he's genuinely worried about losing his scholarship - the only thing he has that will get him off of this damn island and make a name for himself. A selfish part of me hopes he loses the scholarship so he's forced to stay here with the rest of us, but I know that will never happen. Pope is the smartest guy I know and deserves to go off to a fancy college and be successful. The scholarship is going to give him that out we all desperately want. He's not going to lose that scholarship. I've already made sure so.

He just doesn't know it.

~ ~ ~

We dock our boat in town to grab something to eat before going back to my house. I am craving fish tacos and no one is going to stop me from getting them. As we wait outside with a couple other kids I recognize from school a couple years younger than us, paramedics and cop cars show up. Another boat pulls into the dock. A coast guard. Four men haul a stretcher off of it and wheel it up to the waiting ambulance. A sheet is drawn over the body so I can't see who it is but a sick thought races through my mind.

"Who's that?" John B asks the girl sitting near us.

"It's Scooter Grubbs. He was out during the storm," She says. I ignore the look John B casts my way and look at the girl's phone as she holds it out to us. "Check out this pic I got." She smiles sickly at it. "Dead body."

"Insane," I mumble, suddenly feeling sick and not in the mood for fish tacos.

"Holy shit." My brother says.

"What kind of boat did he have?" JJ asks her.

She puts her phone away. "Somehow, that dirtbag copped a brand new Grady-White. Everyone's out looking for it."

As soon as Kie walks out of the store carrying our food, we book it out of there. JJ tells her what happened on the ride back to the Chateau as I sit and think about how screwed we are if we get caught with the gun and money. They might think we killed him!

"So, um...we didn't see anything," Pope says as we walk into the Chateau. "We don't know anything. We need to have total and complete amnesia."

I fall on my couch and lean forward, biting my nails until I reach the nub - a nervous habit of mine. The smell of my tacos makes me queasy. They could have been swimming near that dead body yesterday. Who knows.

"Actually Pope's right for once," JJ says, plopping down on the seat next to me. He takes my hand away from my mouth and leans into the side of the couch, still staring at Pope who looks at him with raised brows. "See, I agree with you sometimes. Deny, deny, deny."

"Guys, we can't keep that money," Kie says.

"Okay, not all of us can afford unlimited data plans, Kie," JJ says which only makes Kie's scowl deepen.

"We have to pass that off to Lana Grubbs," Kie continues. "Otherwise, it's bad karma."

"Bad karma to be implicated in a felony, too," Pope adds. "We gotta go dark."

JJ shrugs. "If that means we get to keep the money, then I agree."

"I don't agree," John B finally pipes up and looks between all of us.

"What? Why?"

"Just think about it," John B says. "This is Scooter Grubbs we're talking about. Same dude that's buying individual cigarettes at the Porthole. Shit, one time I saw this dude begging for change in the Save-A-Lot parking lot because he needed gas. We're talking about a dirtbag marina rat who's never had more than forty bucks in his pocket, and all of a sudden, he's got a Grady-White?" He shrugs and holds out his hands in surrender. "Just saying."

I don't know what to think but I'm leaning towards JJ's idea. We should keep our mouths shut but roll around in the money that we risked our lives for. Finder's keepers isn't just a saying that dies when you've reached your teenage years.

John B continues, "All right, so think about it Pope. How does a marina rat get a Grady-White?"

Pope inhales sharply. "Prostitution."

"Square groupers, bro," John B says. He looks at JJ who will understand where he is coming from. "Okay, flying under the radar, no aerial surveillance. They don't do that stuff during a hurricane. What does that mean? JJ?"

JJ smirks. "They were straight smugglin'."

John B snaps his finger that's pointing at JJ, "Smuggling. And I guarantee there's a serious amount of contraband in that wreck."

"Hell yeah!" JJ stands up and slaps John B's hand in the Pogue handshake. "Fish on!"

Pope speaks up, "For the record, if that is a smuggling ship with illegal contraband on the inside of it...it probably belongs to someone else."

"Minor details."

"They could come looking for it," I say, not exactly taking Pope's side but just mentioning the risk so that everyone knows what we're up against. We don't know what kind of people could be looking for this shit too.

Pope nods. "Taking it would be catastrophically stupid."

JJ bends down so he's face to face with Pope and holds out the money in front of his face. "Right. Well, stupid things have good outcomes all the time."

"I wouldn't say all the time," I say, grinning when JJ looks over his shoulder to glare at me.

"All we need to do is figure out a way to get into the cargo hold of that wreck. Until then, we just lay low. Just act normal."

"Right. And how exactly do we do that?" Pope says.

When his eyes meet mine, a light bulb ignites in my head. My frown is turned upside down into a smile and I lean forward so everyone can see how exciting I am.

"Kegger?"

Tag List: @notyourcupofteax @acvross-the-universe @jjmaybankzz @jeeperky @realistic-breadstick

#jj maybank fic #jj x reader #jj fic #jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank one shot #jj maybank imagines #outer banks rewrite #outer banks imagine #john b routledge #outer banks #outer banks fic #outer banks imagines #kiara carrera #kie carrera #pope heyward

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sinsetcurve · 3 years

Text

JATP FIC RECS

Oneshots-

All Those Little Moments- A series of the individual, chronological threads that make up the tapestry of the love of Julie and Luke.

It’s Always Been You (Even if it’s fake)- Julie Molina is not an idiot. She’s insanely smart and extremely talented. But, she does tend to do idiotic things. The most idiotic being telling her family that she's dating Luke Patterson and is bringing him home for spring break.

Ray and Rose and that Guy Trevor- Ray's POV on Rose's friendship with Trevor, through the years. (In which Trevor is kind of guilty but also kind of innocent.)

Head Over Knees- That one time Alex had an existential crisis over his knees.

Wrap Me Up- Julie is absolutely miserable. She’s caught a nasty flu and is so busy pretending to be fine that she’s totally pushed away everyone who could be taking care of her. Luckily Luke is more than prepared to step in.

Promises Kept- This is a missing scene from the fic We Found Wonderland. You need to read that first to really understand what's going on here. This cover's Luke's reactions to major events towards the end of We Found Wonderland.

I’m Still Breathing- Julie has asthma and when he was alive Reggie did, too. So, Reggie helps her out and cements himself as her big brother.

I’ll Love you There, Too- In her heart, Julie knew that Luke was going to propose eventually, she just didn’t know that it would be so soon, or how nervous he really was to do it.

This Hurt that I’m Holding’s Gettin’ Heavy-When Carlos got home from school Tuesday afternoon, he wasn’t expecting to find one of Julie’s bandmates in his bedroom, studying his bookshelf.

Come Again Bright Days- Julie and Luke haven’t spoken since they graduated from high school. But one night during their senior year of college, they find themselves in the exact same bar for the exact same reason: they were dragged there by their friends in an attempt to make them feel better after their respective break ups.

But Suddenly from somewhere out of the blue, I see a different light around you- Julie and Luke, family friends, end up sick together. While cooped up sick at Julie’s, a little conversation leads to a lot of secrets.

Like You Could Love Me- Julie hadn't slept in almost 48 hours. Luke was waiting for her on the porch when she gets home. Exhaustion + unspoken feelings and things are about to get interesting.

Not So Secret Relationship- Alex and Willie have been secretly dating for about a month and they've had yet to tell their friends about it. Alex decided he's finally ready to come clean to them.

There’s one thing on my mind- home didn't seem like home anymore for luke patterson, and so he was desperate to find a new place to write music. after an especially brutal fight with his mother, he finds himself in front of l.a. books. he isn't expecting to get much out of it, it was solely a last resort. but then he sees her, julie molina, and he ends up coming back every week just to keep seeing her. bookstore au

I’m Gonna pop some tags- Alex thinks working at Julie's family's thrift shop over the summer is going to be a good way to make money while also hanging out with his friends. Good. Easy. Fun. He isn't prepared for the skater who ran him over to be Ray's new hire.

Always- Luke is in love with Julie, and she loves him too. But it's not meant to be, he's been dead 25 years and she has a whole life to live. He wants to know why they can't just rewrite the stars, and eventually she finds a way.

He’s a little into it- Willex Hockey AU where Willie and Alex are on opposite teams.

Do a Kickflip!-It's Spring 1995, and Julie wants to spend some time at the new skate park. Unbeknownst to her, five boys are waiting to turn her summer (and life) for the better. Or! 5 times Julie ran into Sunset Curve, and 1 time she met with them intentionally.

Multi-Chaptered-

This is Where I want to Be- Luke is going through heaven and hell in his life and things take a turn when a especial someone drops unannounced into his life making him question his sanity. OR: Luke has a wicked beauty as his guardian angel and loses his mind

I’ve Got This Crazy Feeling This Isn’t our First Time Around- One second he is rocking the night away, the next he wakes up bloodied and battered in an alleyway. Found by a frantic curly-haired girl, he comes to realise nothing makes sense. He doesn't know where he is, who she is or how he got there, but one thing's for sure: It's not 1995 anymore.

Walk a Mile in my Doodled Shoes-The one where the boys use their newfound possession abilities to help Julie out of jams.

If I was you (I’d wanna be me too)- When Carrie wakes up, the morning after Julie and the Phantoms play the Orpheum, her father is gone. When her father has a breakdown, Carrie is forced to move in with Julie's family, and must confront some uncomfortable truths - about her family, her life, and herself. A house full of ghosts just comes with the package.

Time Of Our Lives- Alex, Reggie and Luke have been given an unexpected new chance at life. Will they fulfil their dreams this time?

We Found Wonderland- At the end of season one Julie isn’t able to save the boys and they are jolted out of existence. But what if there was another way? Julie finds herself back in 1995 with a chance to stop the boys of Sunset Curve from ever dying at all. But will she able to find her way home afterwards? Will she want to? Or has Alice really gone down the rabbit hole this time...

Midnight at Mona’s- Julie Molina expected many things on her impromptu road trip to Texas. She expected Flynn to be confused but ultimately supportive; she expected to relax and gain a new perspective; and she expected (or at least hoped) to rediscover the music she’d lost over the past year. What she did not expect was to be bunking with cranky rancher Luke Patterson, or the mysterious (and quite possibly magical) karaoke bar that would lead them on an adventure full of new friends, dangerous enemies, fun music, and a whole lot of love.

How Wonderful Life is While You’re in the World- Red, White & Royal Blue but Willex.

Our Life is a Playlist- They were best friends, they were family, and Julie had come to believe that they were soulmates. By the time the kids had turned thirteen, life had started teaching them the hardest lessons.

That’s Life- Julie Molina feels invisible most of the time. So what happens when she finds herself unexpectedly "married" to her handsome, popular, longtime-crush, Luke Patterson? She is about to find out. When she and Luke are randomly paired up to work on a project together for their Reproductive Health class, they have to learn to navigate the world of adulthood side-by-side for better or worse. All while dealing with the reality and drama of high school. Julie quickly discovers she's not as invisible as she once thought she was, especially to Luke. Does extra time spent together mean sparks will finally fly between them, or will it all go up in flames?

Don’t forget to support authors by commenting on their works

#please read tags #please comment on these fics!!!#and check out my first rec post. if you guys like these ones you can send requests for fics or even request another list #let me know if there are any mistakes in this list #please tag the authors on here if you know their accounts :)#support the authors!#julie molina #Reggie peters #flynn jatp #alex mercer #ray molina #jatp #julie and the phantoms #carrie wilson #luke patterson #willex #juke

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pfreadsandwrites · 4 years

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Kakashi NSFW Alphabet

18+ CONTENT AHEAD - NO MINORS - ANY MINORS CAUGHT INTERACTING WITH THIS POST WILL BE BLOCKED

Okay, attempt 2 - That’ll teach me to try ever posting from the mobile app. This is a rewrite from scratch and I’m way too tired to reread and see if it makes sense or if there are typos, it’s probably not a good thing this is longer than the original though.

No one asked for this, no one at all, and I know everyone’s done these but hey, it’s Kinktober, and you can never have too many Kakashi headcanons, right? Right? Right. I hope you enjoy these!! Goes without saying that these’ll be smutty. It’s also about 6.4k words. There is some real filth ahead, very nsfw, seriously, the thirst is so real. (I hate myself), so, this is 18+ only!

Also, I'm tagging @allthingskakashi because she asked me to (i really hope these aren’t disappointing)

Side note: This is all written from the view of an established relationship. I can kinda remember most of what I said, so these will be still be very long despite being a rewrite from scratch. Apologies for any rambles and tangents I might go on, since I was rewriting this, my brain got weird and tired, but I wanna take you through my thoughts. I’m also very concerned about keeping things in character and not self-indulgent/self-projecting of what the writer’s personally into so I won’t be doing that here... You’ll see what I mean as I go on. But I still wanna make it hot so i’ll try lol. I’m new to writing but I’m even newer to writing dirty stuff so i’ll try my best. And with this post goes my dignity

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Straight after sex is one of the rare times where Kakashi feels completely at ease and relaxed. He’s pensive, often quietly mulling over what you two have just been doing and trying to come to grips with it, his hands gently running through your hair or along your back. He’s probably at his most affectionate here too. Expect gentle, lazy caresses, little kisses here and there, soft, easy conversation. He might not always be the most talkative, but post-coitus is where you’ll most likely hear him say something earnest and romantic compared to other times. You’ve gotta understand, you’re a miracle, and you being in his arms is like heaven, but he can’t really believe it? But he’s also overwhelmed and tired to let it bother him too much, so he’s able to let his doubt and restraints go a little easier and just breathe. He feels safe, he feels at home and that’s a rare thing, so he’s really just happy to bask in the afterglow and the quietude of it all. It’s the safest, easiest thing in the world for the both of you.

If he’s been on the rougher side, he’ll definitely make sure you’re alright and be more gentle in comparison. and he’s generally more attentive than usual. He’s usually nice about cleaning you up, too, a gentleman lmao.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Kakashi quite likes his upper body, or his torso more generally. He’s lean and broad, but not in an overbearing or obvious way, and he really likes the reaction he gets when you actually do get to see him shirtless. He’s also a little sensitive on his back (and he doesn’t mind if you end up scratching it). But if you rub his shoulders or massage his back or chest, he’s putty in your hands.

When it comes to a partner? So the fandom seems to be consistent in thinking of Kakashi as an ass man, and I’m inclined to agree. He just loves to grab it, slap it, just look at it tbh or whatever, but even if you don’t think your ass is that great, there’s very high probability that he does anyway. But honestly I think he’d have a hard time picking a favourite part of your body.

Some other body parts he definitely loves that don’t get mentioned though: he just loves your waist and how it curves in and out into your hips. He’s mesmerised by it.

plz imagine Kakashi’s nice big hands running gently running along your waist while he thrusts into you deep and slow, your back arching and then they settle on your hips?

Also, he loooooves legs, how they feel wrapped around him, the soft thighs omg. When you wear stockings or heels or other things that accentuate them, ahajhfkaj have mercy on him. Also, wrists and ankles? They’re so pretty and delicate he’ll just grab them where he can. If you both are in some kinda position where he can, he’ll definitely give you lil ankle kisses. also wear an anklet to see him blush

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

So uh, I’m really doing this, huh?

Soooo hear me out. Kakashi’s diet is impeccable. I don’t take criticism here lmao, it’s been mentioned multiple times how much he hates deep fried stuff and sweets (yeah yeah he’s one of those weirdoes that enjoys healthy food most, Kakashi we get it) and he’s always feeding Naruto veggies (or trying to). My point? His cum would taste good, okay? Or at least, not strong or bad at all, very neutral if not good. (You have zero problems swallowing)

Also, he cums a pretty good amount. He tends to try and hold back his orgasm so when he does come it does build up. Coming inside you is his favourite, just the intimacy of it, of filling you like that.

But…. he’s pretty ashamed of it at first, but he does love coming on his partner. Whether it’s on your face (ughhhh when you lick up some of his cum around your mouth after a blowjob), or your breasts, or your back, or wherever tbh. He doesn’t know whether it’s the visuals, the eroticism of it or even a territorial aspect? He doesn’t wanna ponder it too much it’s just hot okay.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

So this one was hard… because, unpopular opinion, I don't see him as into anything too crazy or depraved?

But here’s what I came up with: he’s totally fucked in the Hokage’s office. It’s only a dirty secret because of how improper that is, how inappropriate it is that the man in charge of the whole village is having sex in the very epicentre of where he’s supposed to be doing that, when other Hokage have been in that room before him… but it’s also why he’s into it.

Also, he’ll die before he ever admits to you exactly how many times he’s jerked off to the thought of you. And after you got together into a pair of your panties when you were away and he missed you too much

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Short version: Kakashi’s not as experienced as you might think, but this doesn’t translate into lack of skill in any way.

The long version: Ahhh so I go back on forth on this but I’ma attempt to think this through here. Okay, so, fandom has generally two sides when it comes to Kakashi and this topic. He’s either the completely suave, smooth ladies’ man who has all the one night stands or on account of his issues he’s a passive, stuttering virgin who’s constantly flustered.

Neither of these are that accurate. So I do get ladies man Kakashi to a point. It comes from the fact that he is quite smooth? And women do seem to like him quite easily in the series. And Kakashi definitely has the capacity to be a charmer, and is quite good at flirting when his job requires it or it’s a stranger etc. He’s good at reading people and winning them over. This is more complicated when he’s faced with someone he’s attracted to, or that has the potential to mean something to him. He still might be charming, but he’s very good at using this to keep you further from him, so you can’t really get to know him or get close to him so it’s not quite the same. It’s his way of controlling the distance between you.

Now, when it comes to experience, I don’t think Kakashi’s incapable of using casual sex as some kind of a coping mechanism (it’s not the healthiest), but if he was going to do this, it’d be during the latter part of his ANBU years. I can see him having sex as just a means to forget and remember he’s alive, and quell an urge, with basically faceless partners, or maybe complete strangers on missions. This does make him feel even lonelier after a while though, and it’s not really what he wants. Eventually having sex with women he’ll never see again serves to make him more miserable, and I think by the time we see him at the beginning of the series he doesn’t really do this anymore. So I wouldn’t say he’s completely inexperienced sexually at least, though he definitely is romantically.

Generally after that, Kakashi’s gonna reserve sex for someone who he has a deep emotional and physical connection with, but God forbid he ever calls it what it is - a relationship. Basically, if he’s sleeping with you, he pretty much loves you whether he knows it or not. And if he’s comparing that to his past experiences, he really feels the difference and cherishes it all the more (but it still scares him and he won’t admit it to himself.

So here’s how I see it. There’s always been a sexual chemistry between him and you, and a physical and romantic attraction. But of course Kakashi is Kakashi so he does absolutely nothing about it and doesn’t want to let you do anything about it. Still, you’re surprisingly persistent, and you do become close to each other in a friendly capacity, in whatever way Kakashi’s able to participate in that. Eventually, ( I haven’t thought this through quite yet) you do end up fucking and Kakashi tries to convince himself that he can just do that, that he can keep up having great sex with a great friend and that you don’t mean the world to him. You try to do the same, for his benefit, but you’re in deep and neither of you can’t deny there’s a bond and your connection is so strong that you’re basically in a relationship - and you kinda are by the time you start having sex - but he doesn’t really have the balls to actually call it that till after the 4th shinobi war. (I have some thoughts about how the war impacted Kakashi’s psychology but it’s generally then when he’ll genuinely feel comfortable enough to fully commit himself to you and see a future for himself, which he’s never really had before, and a future with you to boot).

To bring it back to this (I’m sorry what a fucking tangent), Kakashi’s maybe not had sex with a large amount of women, but he’s a quick learner and has natural skill. He also learns your body and what you like quickly. So whilst he’s not as experienced as he seems, he’s definitely more skilled than he has any right to be.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

When it comes to positions there’s very little he wouldn’t enjoy tbh. He does have an affinity for positions like doggy style, just the visuals and the power it gives him. It’s easy for him to get a bit carried away though, but that’s his go to when he’s feeling rougher.

When it’s more romantic and slow and sensual, he also loves variations of missionary, because he loves the intimacy of the eye contact, and how your body is so close he can hear your heartbeat but his absolute favourite positions are missionary variations where your legs are on his shoulders, or where he’s spreading your thighs as perpendicular as possible and really testing your flexibility are probably his favourite cuz legs, and he can go even deeper and get an amazing angle.

But he definitely likes it when you ride him too, whether you’re facing him or away, it just feels too good when you’re bouncing on him like that. Also it’s nice to relax a bit and not have to do more of the work… plz take care of him from time to time…

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely has the capacity to be a fucking dork, as we know, and this has the potential to translate to his sex life. It’s a sign of complete ease if he can laugh and joke with you during, and he loves to have fun and play around with you, but at the same time, he does prefer to be serious most of the time. This means a lot to him and he’ll make sure you know that. He’s also gonna get a bit exasperated if you don’t seem to be taking it as seriously as him, or if you’re too into jokes and giggles for his liking that day. Probably will try and shut you up one way or another.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

(Ughh okay so the idea of Kakashi with a silver happy trail leading to a messy shockwave of hair down there really does things to me okay, I’m sorry, I’ll see myself out)

Okay so… Have you seen how Kakashi manages his hair? Spoiler alert: he doesn’t. I don’t even know if this man owns a hairbrush. So I can definitely see him not being assed about shaving his bush. It’s probably kind of wild, or at the very least more on the unkempt side.

But then again he’s assed enough to keep his face clean shaven so he can wear his mask, so maybe he does, like I do head canon that he’s a very clean person and he probably feels like it is a *bit* cleaner that way but I’m leaning towards nah he just leaves it alone, but will trim it from time to time when it gets too wild or if it bothers you. I do think he probably has slightly more body hair than you’d expect tbh, but his hair is so light especially against his complexion so it’s not really noticeable. Oh and obviously, the carpet matches the drapes. (Idk why this made me imagine Kakashi with a ginger bush.. LMAO there’s a thought)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It does depend on the mood between you, what kinda day he’s had, what position you’re in etc but he places a lot of value on sex in your relationship, for the intimacy and emotional bonding, not just the physical pleasure. So there are a lot of times where he’d be super intimate. Kakashi’s a man who chooses his words and actions very carefully in normal life and during sex he allows himself to let all that go. His actions really convey the depth of what you mean to him, what being with you like this means to him. He’ll hold you close to him, running his hands all over your body just to feel you everywhere, kiss you everywhere you can whilst he moves, bury his face into your neck, breathe you in - he just is very overwhelmed by this and there are times during your most intimate moments where he’s so in awe and so happy that he could die right there.

That being said, if he’s fucking you over his desk in the hokage’s office and it’s rough and fast, it’s a little harder to feel the intimacy and the romantic connection. Still, it is underlying every moment between you too. You’re the only ones that see these sides of each other, and make each other feel that way, and he really values that. He’ll still make it feel tender somehow and not just mindless fucking (no matter how blank he makes your head feel)

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don’t see him as being a particularly frequent masturbator tbh. He strikes me as disciplined and he can probably go a while without it, especially if he’s busy, but more than just that, he kinda sees it as an inconvenience he just has to do sometimes? To blow off some steam, or when he’s not had sex in a while or something got his mind racing and it’s a distraction because he literally can’t think about anything else. He’ll probably use his books, but he prefers to use his imagination tbh, though the books can start as a seed for that.

He also doesn’t like having to put too much effort into jerking himself off? He doesn’t like to overcomplicate things when it comes to his sex life, and especially when it’s just jacking off.

He just kinda wants to get it done so he can move on to something more productive or fall asleep or something. So he’s just happy to pump himself off until he gets there.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Okay here’s where I’m gonna lose some of you.

Kakashi’s just not that kinky. Or maybe not kinky by tumblr/fic standards. Like I said in the previous head canon, he just does not see the appeal of making his sex life more complicated than it needs to be and his kinks aren’t gonna be too crazy. He just wants to feel good with you and he’s not that difficult to get going. With that in mind, here are some things he likes:

Spanking ;)

Teasing

Face-fucking

Dirty Talk (to a point, anything too stupid sounding or too dirty might make him laugh or take him out of it…)

clothed sex (where you are so horny for each other you can’t even wait to get undressed properly)

semi-public sex (he would hate the idea of actually being seen but the idea of *almost* being caught is kinda hot to him, not that he’ll ever let that happen if he can help it),

body worship (is that a kink)

LIGHT dom (I’ll mention it more later but he’s not too extreme into this stuff, but if you call him Hokage-sama or captain he might get a little too into it… not that that’s bad) I heard someone call him general during the war arc and that shit SENT me

he maaaay do a a threesome with shadow clones (either two of his if you want that, but two of you seem kinda hot… that being said, this might delve into that ‘making things too complicated’ so Idk, this might just be hot to me cuz I would like two Kakashis to rail me and I do think he’d enjoy it if two of you focused on him),

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

The bed is fine but that’s really what he associates with either morning sex, or romantic, intimate lovemaking type stuff. When it’s more raunchy and playful, he really likes bending you over stuff tbh, his desk, kitchen counter etc most surfaces work well. He likes the shower too. Also, one time you both were just so hot for each other and didn’t make it to the bed and went at it on the hard floor and it was so wild and rough.

But he really loves fucking you up against walls, doors, mirrors, etc, Wall is his favourite, it’s just so intense and he gets animalistic and yeah it’s so good.

WAIT, how did I forget, sex in front of the mirror?! This is something he enjoys more with a more flustered or shy s/o who’s not used to looking at themselves. I have been thinking about writing something for this

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Kakashi’s more on the traditional side in terms of what he likes but it’s really not that hard to turn him on. He loooooveeees when you wear lingerie for him, anything pretty and lacy but also stockings and all that. But then there’s something about when it’s simplistic too, like when you’re just wearing his shirt and nothing else? That’ll get him going too. But yeah, plz surprise him with a sexy outfit when he comes home from a long day of work and he’ll love you 5ever.

I dunno why I’ve always thought this, but I also think he’s turned on by subtle, understated signs of femininity? It’s just such a contrast to what he’s used to and he really appreciates it and is just mesmerised by you tbh. It’s things that are natural, the way when you sit down your hips get that crease where they meet your thighs, you might sometimes look down when you smile softly, the way you walk, pretty hair. If you have a really classical, elegant/sophisticated kind of style he loves that. Kinda hard to explain what I mean with that but like, say a dress or skirt that shows off your curves but isn’t too revealing? It really gets his mind racing. That make sense? (No worries if that’s not your style either, like I say, it’s not that hard to turn him on) But I also think he kinda likes when you wear jewellery? Like nothing too ostentatious but if you’re naked beneath him and the only thing you’re wearing is a necklace or some fancy earrings he just thinks you look so beautiful.

He also likes the comfortable, gentle teasing and flirting in the conversations you have, the jovial aspect to them, the connotations they carry. You could say one comment and not mean a whole lot by it and it might get his mind racing. He’ll think about you all day.

I mentioned before but offering to massage his back/chest/shoulders is his favourite, and if you kiss his jawline or neck even innocently it might not be innocent for very long ;) just when you’re generally affectionate and gentle with him.

He’d definitely enjoy it if you were confident, but I also feel like he’d like a shyer s/o too? If you were a little easier to fluster than he is, he finds it much easier to be confident and make you feel that much better ;) he likes making you blush.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Okay, here’s where I’m definitely gonna lose some of you. But hang with me.

Short version: He doesn’t really like BDSM, be nice to him and let him be

Long version (I’m sorry guys):

By the time Kakashi’s in a loving relationship with you, he’s shown you his vulnerability and he trusts you, and he’s happy to try things within reason, but he has boundaries. And he expects you to respect them, just like he respects yours. You’re gonna frustrate him and make him close off if you’re wanting to push him to try new stuff or go out of his comfort zone. He can be set in his ways. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. So if that’s not cool for you, that’s a turn-off.

He’s not into role-reversal. This is a tricky one to explain (and I’d explained it better in my first version of this that got lost to the void but alas this is where my memory is getting hazy), but though he’s a man with a lot of power and responsibility and control, these things aren’t necessarily things he’s insecure about or that come unnaturally to him. They’re not a persona or things he’s necessarily putting a lot of effort into being. He just is. He’s self-aware of his own abilities and strengths and he’s very a-matter-of-fact about them. I guess what I’m saying is, the more masculine attributes of his personality and demeanour that make some people say he’s DaddyAF and others say he’s probably not like that sexually, are just who he is naturally. He’s not putting effort into being these things and does not see the appeal of working to reverse this in the bedroom, or better yet, doesn’t really understand it. It’s way more effort for him to do that than it is for him to just be who he is. I could go way more into the psychology of this but this thing is long enough already but part of that accepting him for who he is is just letting him be. I’m saying he’s in no way a sub, basically.

But he’s not a huge dom, either. He’s actually really not into anything hardcore when it comes to dom/sub or bdsm stuff like at all. Like he’s not gonna be your daddy or your master or anything like that. He really values ease above all else and is happy to just enjoy the two of you and your body without adding extra layers of extreme power dynamics and kinks on top of it. He’s happy to be more on the authoritative side, which is why I say light dom, and it’s more natural for him to take the lead, but he’s not thinking about it too hard. I also don’t think he’d be averse to some mild power play - in that mean he likes it when you get a little cheeky, tease him, you can make fun of him, there’s a bit of cat and mouse between you, but if you’re too much into control or power that actually might bring out his rougher dominant side a bit more than normal. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not incapable of lying back and letting you do your thing.

…But he is still a bit of a control freak at heart and he doesn’t want to feel like something could go wrong, so if you make him feel like he can’t do anything about the situation or having no control at all is likely gonna be a bad experience for him.The other thing is that Kakashi doesn’t feel like he’s had control over his life where it counts, and he still feels pretty shitty about himself a lot. He’s not gonna wanna relinquish all control during his sex life, no matter how much he trusts you. He’d hate feeling completely passive, and if you humiliate him you’re just gonna make him feel shitty. He doesn’t wanna humiliate you either. So what I’m saying is, he’s just not into femdom or extreme male sub stuff or anything like that, sorry not sorry. He’s felt shitty enough in his life for you to turn it into a kink. He’s a pretty chill guy, but he still has his comfort zone, and he trusts you enough to be vulnerable, don’t take advantage of that. Be kind to Kakashi Hatake 2020.

With everything I’ve said so far, he’s never gonna let you peg him. It’s not something that really appeals to him visually or psychologically, plus any kind of receiving anal stimulation is just not really his thing. Leave Kakashi Hatake’s asshole alone 2020. Also, he doesn’t like the plastic/artificialness of toys in general, he’d much rather genuine skin on skin contact and feeling your body and you his, and just yeah you having to use toys on him will turn him off or seeing you in a way, that’s you know, not you, with an artificial appendage is just, a big no for him. Probably has the exact opposite effect you’d want.

He’d also never wanna hurt you, or be into you hurting him. If it doesn’t trigger his PTSD or his tendency to self-loathe like all the other things I mentioned, he’s been getting hurt his whole life so he’s likely not gonna enjoy this in the bedroom, it’s either banal to him or a complete turn-off at the least. He’s self-aware enough to know it’s not gonna be the healthiest thing for him to sexualise it. He’s also hurt too many people to do something that could potentially hurt you, so no weapons, ninja techniques, things like that. I don’t think he’d even be into choking you. He just wants to relax, and enjoy himself and being with you in a way where he can feel safe, but not passive, and he loves having a partner that can allow him to do that.

So a partner being too dominant to the point of making him feel shitty and weak would be a turn-off, or just generally one that’s impatient or unkind. You’ll need to be empathetic and warm to get anywhere with him anyway, or at least you’ll struggle otherwise. Also, he wouldn’t ever want a threesome. It’s taken so much out of him to build up trust and intimacy between you, he’s sure that introducing another person, even if it’s only a one time thing, would ruin it. He also doesn’t want anyone other than you to see him in that way, or vice versa.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

So I don’t know why but I feel like Kakashi sees eating you out as such a special, intimate act? It’s a big deal, and this is something he probably wouldn’t do with someone he doesn’t have a strong connection to, or not as much. But when he does love you, your responses and the whole act are just mesmerising to him. Maybe it’s how vulnerable delicate you seem, how your moans are more gentle and delicate compared to when he’s fucking you, how he’s up and close against your most private parts, how he’s the only one that sees you like this… It really gets him going tbh, but it also takes a lot out of him? It just ends up meaning more to him than a blowjob might mean to you. So he might actually end up receiving more than he gives, despite the fact that he enjoys it and is very good at it. I don’t mind I’ll suck his dick 25/8

Like most men, he’ll be putty in your hands if you give him a good blowjob. It’s one of those things that never cease to amaze him or drive him crazy, no matter how many times you’ve done it, the sight of you on your knees, sucking him down. He’ll feel guilty but he face-fucks you sometimes, and it feels amazing, but he honestly might let himself get carried away. So he’ll sometimes grab your hair or clench his fist instead, otherwise he’ll just try to gently guide your ahead along sometimes. His moans during blowjobs are also damn hot as well. Like guttural groans and moans, he’s louder than normal.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends with Kakashi! Whether it’s a quickie, the position, where you’re doing it. He has a penchant for slow and sensual though. He wants to savour you, the sensation, the moment, the sights, everything. He really wants to bask in the intimacy of what’s going on and go as deep as he can and take his time. He likes taking it easy.

But there’s always gonna be moments where he can be pretty damn animalistic and rough and he’s pretty good with that too. Though, where he has the time to do so, he likes to build up to it? Occasionally he’ll be too pent up/frustrated or too short on time to really do it but like if time and space allows he doesn’t wanna start ramming into you like right away, he wants you to adjust, and will slowly fuck you until you’re really want it as crazily as he does.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He likes a good quickie, or rather, they’re his only option sometimes. He’s a busy guy who can’t always plan his schedule, and this goes tenfold when he becomes Hokage. So whilst his favourite will also be something longer where he can take his time and enjoy your body, you’re gonna have to accept that there will be periods where all you’ll get is quickies in his office, or in the morning before he has to leave.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

So despite all that stuff I listed about all the things he won’t do, he’s willing to try a lot of stuff with you. He does enjoy experimenting and he thinks it’s fun and brings you guys closer together, but within reason. He doesn’t wanna do anything too complicated or too strange by his standards, but he’ll be up for new locations, new positions, and he is risky in the sense that he won’t mind doing some stuff in public, or semi-public at least.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

So it’s definitely better when he doesn’t have his sharingan constantly sapping his energy anymore, but not to the point that you really noticed there being a problem before. He just puts a lot of effort and concentration into not cumming before you, and he’s pretty good at that. Depending on how pent up he is, he can last a decent amount of time. But if he has lasted quite a long time, when he finally does cum, he might not be in the mood to go again.

I see him going for like, one short round and one long one. Or if it’s shorter his recovery time’s pretty decent. But if you get ever happen to get three or more rounds of him in one go you should definitely praise him or take care of him cuz that’s pretty difficult and his dick might be broken for the next few days.

The only time his ability to hold back his orgasm goes to shit is when you’re having his way with him by riding him or sucking him off. You’re just too good have mercy on him But he’s better able to control that stuff and slow down and take breaks when he needs to when he’s the one leading things.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Nah, this harkens back to the whole thing about him not wanting to overcomplicate things and just have fun without thinking too much. He can’t be assed with toys and won’t use them on himself. I also mentioned earlier that he doesn’t like the fakeness/artificiality of toys, just the gimmicky-ness of it, the plastics... Nah. He wants to feel something real. Besides it’s canon how crazy this man’s physical skill is, his hands, his fingers… He’s completely satisfied with just his hands. And you are too

If it means a lot to you, he can use toys on you. But let’s be honest I really don’t think you’ll feel the need.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Kakashi is a little shit, we all know this. He loves to tease and edge, and he just loves seeing how frustrated you get, your scolding, knowing that you still can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do, your annoyed little whines and huffs… But he always more than makes up for it later.

He is so bad at receiving teasing though, he cannot withstand as much as you can, which is lame, considering how much he can put you through.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He’s not that loud, though there are times he can be. When he’s getting close to cumming, when he finally does are probably his loudest. But generally, his noises are so so nice. He makes soft little grunts and pants mostly, but he’ll growl and groan, whisper your name.. But sometimes you can get a semi-loud moan out of hiim and omg it’s so so hot.

He’s a little louder when he’s tired, or first thing in the morning? He’s more sensitive. When he’s not having to concentrate so much or think too much about what’s going on, he’ll get a little louder. He’s also louder when you’re riding him than in other positions.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You know what I’ve gone in so deep with this head canons that I can’t think of a random one and I can’t remember what I wrote yesterday.

So Kakashi really appreciates just physical contact with you, wherever it might be. It doesn’t necessarily need to be sexual either but it makes him feel at ease. I said this already too, but Kakashi loves the comfort of just being vanilla. Nothing special, nothing elaborate, no gimmicks, just him on top of you, with your legs around his hips, as he drives into you. It’s literally just you and him in the world and that’s all there needs to be and nothing’s ever felt more right than that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It’s canon Kakashi is big need I say more. Okay I’ll say more. So it’s pretty long and thick. It’s not like monster huge but he’ll definitely take some adjusting. Probs uncut, and the same girth all the way down. Also kinda veiny, there’s some big ones on the underside. You’ll definitely feel him throb inside you. But his body is nice too, but we been knowing that. He’s lean, and muscular, but in an understated way. He also has really nice legs? Like his thighs are good. The only time I saw his legs was in ep 101 of og Naruto but I was very pleased tbh. Like they’re well-trained but not crazy muscular like those men who work out a lot get… do you know what I mean? The round calves and stuff? He doesn’t have that. He also has a very nice ass. Gets flustered if you stare at it or slap it. Please do though his reaction is so cute.

Anyways, back to his dick, the colour is slightly darker than the rest of his body and the tip a tad darker than that. I remember seeing a picture on twitter and omg I couldn’t like it cuz I need some semblance of keeping my twitter professional but omg I saved the link, this is it though, the artist gets him perfectly.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s high but nothing ridiculous. He’s controlled enough where he can go a while without it, but this is harder once he has a partner.

Once you guys have settled into each other and grown comfortable, he’s probably up for it 3-4 times a week, but depends on you and both of your schedules too. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes less. But he’s a busy guy and has tons of things going on so as much as he’d like to, he can’t think about having sex extremely frequently. He’s also gonna have periods where he physically can’t see you that much, so the times you do see each other might be spent having sex so it might feel like it’s crazy high, but it’s more that he’s making up for lost time.

As he gets older his sex drive does decrease slightly, but not by much tbh. He’s very adaptable to your needs too. If you wanna fuck a lot that’s all great but if it’s like twice a day every day then calm down dang you might need to satisfy yourself. But if yours is a lot lower than is, he might struggle, but eh, he can manage.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sex definitely depletes him and makes it easy to sleep, but he’ll normally wait for you to fall asleep. It’s a control thing and a protective thing, but he just feels a lot better about sleeping once you’re already there dozing off in his arms, and after sex is one of the rare times where he feels relaxed enough and his mind is empty enough where he can get a good night’s rest without any issues.

#kakashi #hatake kakashi #kakashi x reader #kakashi headcanons #kakashi smut #naruto #naruto imagines #naruto headcanons #kakashi hatake #kakashi imagines #pfthinks #pfsins

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autisticandroids · 3 years

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would you i include anything about dean and sam’s obvious alcohol and repression issues and maybe ptsd in either your good season 6 au or good season 7 au because if nothing else i would love for them to at least have addressed their serious problems w any of those things a little more seriously. i know it’s the cw and there’s only so much you can do but still i feel like there’s a way they could go about it and you are a phenomenal writer i just got through your s6 au so i feel like if anyone could make it work it would be you

okay so i saw this and i thought it focused specifically on alcoholism/addiction issues so that's the question i answered in my mind.

also the thing about trauma and repression is that i watch supernatural to see my favorite little dolls get traumatized and then repress their emotions about it, with maybe the occasional cathartic breakdown.

and i don't think dean is going to get a cathartic breakdown in the 6/7 of the good s6 au. he will be pushed to breaking points, but more in the "snap and do something terrible" type way, rather than anything that will encourage him to work through his issues. like he will probably get there eventually but in 6/7 i don't think he will because i don't want to push him in the right ways. also i kinda have no idea what dean is doing in the good s7, like my last really strong ideas about what he's doing in the good s6 au end with the mindwipe (when i post my mindwipe rewrite. then you will realize.) so i'm not sure what i'm going to do with him in 7. i am very compelled by his total nihilism in canon 7x01 like i'm very very into that, but i'm not sure if it works in my s7 because i would like to stretch 7x01 into 5-10 episodes and i don't know if maintaining that mental state for dean over that length of time is effective, practical, or interesting.

in sam's case, he might get pushed into a cathartic breakdown because i need to figure out how exactly i'm going to handle hallucifer. i'm like obsessed with hallucifer it's maybe my favorite sam arc, possibly JUST because of 7x17 which i'm OBSESSED with and like, yes that's because cas is back and deancas reunion and etc etc etc but also SAM HUNTING A CASE IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL WITH ABIGAIL HOBBES?????? like genuinely the only sam thing more compelling to me than sam gently mentoring a teenager is sam like. trapped in an prison or institution of some kind trying to work around the constraints in order to furtively accomplish tasks. anyway. i'm obsessed with hallucifer. also i'm hoping to insert some themes about the loss of specifically mental autonomy, because canon s6/7 has those but they're not connected or explored (soulless sam, sam not remembering being soulless, cas breaking sam's wall, hallucifer, dean asking cas to wipe lisa's memory, cas being semi-taken over by the souls and leviathans, cas losing his memory, cas taking on hallucifer) and i would like to explore and expand on those events and the connections between them, as well as adding a few of my own (introducing naomi in s6 instead of s8, changing the lisa mindwipe from a single event to an escalating pattern). so maybe sam will have a cathartic breakdown over that as a sort of climactic even in s7.

ANYWAY re: addiction: i think that s6/7 is probably not the right place to handle any issues with substances that sam has, because in s6 he's soulless for most of it, which is like. most of the issues sam has with substance abuse imo come from a combination of the fact that sam fears his own hedonic tendencies and so therefore overindulges when he indulges, and the fact that even though he doesn't do it as ostentatiously as dean, he still has a tendency to drink his feelings. soulless sam has neither of those problems. and then like, in s7, sam is dealing with hallucifer, and there is like... that's kind of not the time to try getting clean? like any substance abuse problem is going to be rendered pretty moot by the much worse problem of having the devil in your brain. like anything he took during the period where he was dealing with hallucifer would have been necessary and possibly life-saving self-medication. although now that i think about it it would have been interesting to see as part of his hallucifer recovery a recovery from an addiction he developed in an attempt to deal with hallucifer. like, he started drinking heavily and constantly in an attempt to put himself to sleep and also numb out hallucifer, but now hallucifer is gone and he's developed both bad habits re: alcohol and a physical dependency. like that might be worth poking into.

in terms of dean..... i think dean might actually be better about his drinking in season six because he's gonna have lisa watching over him the whole time? like she would prevent him from drinking too much just by like, watching him. he has to perform not-being-an-alcoholic for her, so he does. then post-mindwipe, once we've entered godstiel territory, dean would probably get much worse again as part of his rolling over and giving up. but i think he would just get worse, i don't think there would be any cathartic breaking points for dean in 6/7, and that includes wrt his drinking. save that shit for season eight.

#alcohol cw #drugs cw #spn #asks #anonymous #good s6 au

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 3 years

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I liked your ava post, do you have more aboout usm. The WHOle usm team?

I can’t say I have many many hcs but I’ll give you where I think they might end up after SHIELD, and two songs that fit them if that works.

Peter: I don't know why but I feel like Peter would want to look for his parents once he leaves SHIELD and while doing so, he ends up in a lot of team ups and building up more of his rogues gallery. Basically I imagine stuff from the comic with spider clones, dating MJ, briefly rejoins the Avengers then leaves. Yeah I don't have much for him since comic history leaves people to choose what they want. Imagine Dragon's Beliver because he does have such a heavy pain inside, but that's the thing, he keeps it inside until he snaps them into his fight for justice. "First things first, I'ma say all the words inside my head. I'm fired up and tired of the way that things have been, The way that things have been.Second thing second, Don't you tell me what you think that I could be. I'm the one at the sail, I'm the master of my sea...Taking my message from the veins. Speaking my lesson from the brain. Seeing the beauty through the pain!"

Danny: I'd like to think that he stays in NY to start Heroes for Hire with Luke as soon as they leave SHIELD. They're bros, and he justifies the absence that New York needs Iron Fist more than K'Lun for the moment. He also tries his hand at getting Rand Industries back on track. I also think he does return to K'Lun eventually as King and mystical head. After his work at Rand Industries, he feels more confident as a leader and is willing to stand up to the monks when it comes with changing some of the old ways. Allowing him to travel back to NY to see his friends while keeping the mystical origins of K'Lun sacred. I think Nature Boy rather fits him, soft and melodious and Danny learning he is not alone sort of. "There was a boy. A very strange enchanted boyThey say he wandered very far..Very far over land and sea. A little shy and sad of eye. But very wise, was he." Les Miserables’ Who am I mainly because I imagine Danny has some identity issues between feeling worthy of the Iron Fist, feeling torn between the US and K'Lun. Ideally, he would end up learning being one does not give up the other part of himself. As one would say they can coexist in a balance. "Who am I? Can I conceal myself forever more.. Pretend I’m not the man I was before?....How can I ever face my fellow men? How can I ever face myself again?"

Luke: As said above, with Danny, when they leave SHIELD, they create Heroes for Hire, they ride or die forever. Together they clean up their part of New York and Luke comes to terms with some of his past and the people he dealt with in jail. He also meets Jessica Jones during this time and she becomes his new partner (in more ways than one) when Danny leaves for K'Lun. He sometimes does freelance work for SHIELD, mainly at the behest of his parents, sometimes as a favor to Fury. He also sometimes comes by the Helicarrier to be a surprise mentor to whatever new hero they pick up. He is the main instigator of team reunions.

Adam Levine’s If I got locked away totally fits him after the time he spent in jail and scared of being seen as weak, it really fits him and his insecurities. "If I got locked away And we lost it all today. Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same? If I showed you my flaws. If I couldn't be strong. Tell me honestly, would you still love me the same?" One call away also fits him simply for his caring nature and how he'll do anything for his friends, "I'm only one call away. I'll be there to save the daySuperman got nothing on me. I'm only one call away/ Call me, baby, if you need a friend. I just wanna give you love...No matter where you go, know you're not alone. I'm only one call away."

Ava: I think once Ava leaves SHIElD, she has some trouble with the amulet whether form being on her own, knowing SHIELD isn't there watching her every move or just cockiness that she can handle it now. Either way, I see her as taking a break from the amulet. Reasoning her father wanted her to keep it safe, it didn't mean she had to put it on and be a hero. Ideally, she goes to therapy to work through all these issues before ever putting it on again. I imagine she goes home to PR too. I think she could go into bounty hunting, it's more freelance, she helps put baddies away and she can put her investigative skills to good use. Eventually she'd be White Tiger again but for more superpowered threats than every day patrolling. Just breathe from In the Heights not only for the spanish influences but also the utter fear of returning a failure, "Straighten the spine. Smile for the neighbors. Everything's fine, everything's cool. The standard reply: Lots of tests, lots of papers. Smile, wave goodbye and pray to the sky, "Oh God!" And what will my parents say? Can I go in there and say, "I know I'm letting you down..." Alyssa Greene from The Prom. The lyrics speak for themselves of the utter perfectionism and drive, "The hair has to be perfect. The As have to be straight...Trophies have to be first place. Ribbons have to be blue. There's always some competition or hoops for jumping through. Just have everything perfected by the time you reach eighteen"

Sam: Admittedly I don't know much about Nova lore or backstory as the others but I think he'll go back to space. Not necessarily as part of the Guardians because honestly I think they had enough members without him. Maybe as a solo act before he finds the other Nova Corps. I definitely see him as becoming a trainer there, finally being the leader he always wanted to be. I also want him to reconnect with his family so he does travel back to Earth to visit them and then swoops by NY for some reunion with his old team before heading back to space.

Bieber’s Lonely fits Sam because at the heart of it all, I think that's what he is. Lonely, he's still young and trying to navigate these powers and his place in the world and space and what his identity is. And no one else can quite get that. "Everybody knows my name now. But somethin' 'bout it still feels strangeLike lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself and seein' somebody else. And everything is not the same now. It feels like all our lives have changed Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down. But it's killin' me now. What if you had it all, nut nobody to call? Maybe then you'd know me 'cause I've had everything. But no one's listening and that's just f- lonely." Shawn Mendes' Wonder works for similar reasons. Mainly I imagine him singing it to his missing father who inherited so much but knows nothing personally about him, "I wonder why I'm so afraid of saying something wrong, I never said I was a saint. I wonder, when I cry into my hands. I'm conditioned to feel like it makes me less of a man and I wonder if someday you'll be by my side and tell me that the world will end up alright. I wonder..I wonder." And then a party song for each

Sam: All I do is win by DJ Khaled "All I do is win, win, win no matter what. Got money on my mind, I can never get enough ('Nough) And every time I step up in the building Everybody hands go up And they stay there And they stay there, up, down, up, down, up, down 'Cause all I do is win (Win), win (Win), win And if you going in put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there"

Luke: Finesse by Bruno Mars, "We out here drippin' in finesseIt don't make no sense Out here drippin' in finesse You know it, you know it We out here drippin' in finesse It don't make no sense Out here drippin' in finesse You know it, you know it"

Peter: Another one bites the dust by Queen "nother one bites the dustAnother one bites the dust And another one gone and another one gone Another one bites the dust Hey I'm gonna get you too Another one bites the dust"

Danny: Normally, I don't think Danny would be into party music, too much cursing, too much noise to distort the mind, that stuff. But Rihanna is catchy. "I wanna take you away, let's escape into the music, DJ, let it playI just can't refuse it, like the way you do this Keep on rockin' to it Please don't stop the, please don't stop the music I wanna take you away, let's escape into the music, DJ, let it play I just can't refuse it, like the way you do this Keep on rockin' to it Please don't stop the, please don't stop the, please don't stop the music"

Ava: Woman by Ke$ha "I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, alright I don't need a man to be holding me too tight I'm a motherfucking woman, baby, that's right I'm just having fun with my ladies here tonight I'm a motherfucker" This other cool blog is much more into USM and has tons of hcs if you want more of this stuff, @im-rewriting-ultimate-spider-man

#ultimate spiderman #usm #peter parker #spider man #ava ayala #white tiger #danny rand #iron fist #luke cage #power man #sam alexander #nova #my hcs #my headcanons

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batskulldrag · 4 years

Text

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

Trigger warnings for abuse mentions, I still don’ t know how to link my chapters

chapter eight, i’ll be honest, there are no Oc’s in this thing. everyone is gonna be a youtuber or a dream daddy character. if you look up dream daddy, you’ll see who cameos where.

Chapter Eight: Gives You Hell by All American Rejects.

Virgil looked around the office. This totally looked like a child therapist’s domain. The walls were littered with posters and every flat surface had a figurine or a plushie of some cartoon character. He absentmindedly pet the stuffed bear that shared the couch with him.

Ok, I’m calling it. He concluded in the silence. I’m just gonna get one of my uncles. There’s no shame in that right?

Yes, there is.

Damn it, you again. That voice was starting to sound familiar.

“Hey-ya Virgil.” The shrink beamed as he walked in the door. “I’m Dr. Picani, we’ve met.”

“Yeah,” Virgil sighed. “You prescribed the anti-anxiety meds.”

“How are those working out for you?”

“The valium makes me tired. But they said that it might.”

“Are you having to take it a lot?”

“Uncle Logan gave me one a couple of nights ago. They don’t really let me decide when to take them.”

“That’s fair. It’s pretty habit forming.” Picani nodded. “Like Krabby Patties, but drugs. Why did Logan give you one of your pills?”

“I…” He looked around, could he trust this guy? “What happens to this information after we’re done?”

“The society of the blind eye erases all of it.” Picani smiled. “I’m not going to tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about. That’d breach my doctor/patient confidentiality.”

“That applies to minors?”

“I mean, I have to tell your guardians. But I’m sure they know what you know.”

“I had a nightmare that night.” Virgil focused on the stuffed bear. “I woke up screaming.”

“What was this nightmare about?”

“Stuff.” Virgil pulled his legs to his chest as a barrier. “The uncles burst in for some reason.”

“I’d wager because you were screaming.”

“Yeah. Anyway, they couldn’t calm me down. And honestly that’s all just a blur to me. But they couldn’t shut me up, so Uncle Logan gave me one of the pills. It was all kind of surreal.”

“In what way?” He held out a hand like he was giving Virgil the question. “It sounds like they handled it really well.”

“I wet the bed.” Virgil said harshly. “Like a fucking toddler.”

“That’s some pretty strong language there. Sounds like you had quite the nightmare.”

“That’s what Uncle Patton said. And that’s all he said.” He mimicked Patton’s voice. “That must have been a doozy of a nightmare kiddo. If you wanna talk about we’re right here, but if you don’t, we’ll just get you cleaned up and you can go back to sleep.”

“And that upset you? Do you feel like he was patronizing you?”

“No.” Virgil yelled, frustrated. “I feel like I still have bruises from last time my dad caught me wetting the bed!”

“And you’re upset because Patton keeps catching you off guard?”

“Yes. I don’t know what he’s gonna do. I-I think he’s probably gonna keep being nice, but what if he doesn’t?”

“Virgil, I like to equate my patients to cartoons to help them understand this.” Picani said, tipping his folded hands towards him. “And you are very much a Raven.”

“Like I eat roadkill? I mean ravens are cool and all, but I don’t follow.”

“Ok, Raven is from a cartoon called Teen Titans, it’s about teenage superheroes.” He explained. “Raven is a half demon born from a terrifying being called Trigon. He plans to use her as a sort of gateway to the apocalypse so he can rule their dimension.”

“Cool.” He perked up. “What does this have to do with me?”

“Well, Raven’s father saw her as nothing but a means to his end and would constantly torture her to control her. Mostly by haunting her mind, and this led her to be very guarded around the other titans. Because she didn’t know who she could trust.”

Virgil felt cold. The doctor suddenly seemed very far away, but still painfully close. Who was this guy? How could he sit there in his round glasses, his button up shirt, his tan cardigan and his frigging pink tie and read his mind? How?

“No?” Virgil whispered, balling himself tighter.

“No, she didn’t know if they would reject her, or betray her or what. Fathers are important and knowing you can’t trust the one person who is supposed to protect you can make you put your guard up. It can even make you try to guard yourself against kindness.”

The power of Christ compels you, get out of my brain!

“So, you can see the parallel, can’t you?”

“I guess,” Virgil pulled up his hood. “I mean, my dad just kind of used me as a prop. Signing me up for all kinds of academic stuff without asking me what I wanted. Because what he wanted was a kid he could show off. Someone who could be seen and not heard. Someone submissive. I signed up for wrestling without telling him just so I could have something that was mine. Something that didn’t fit in with his mold. But he found out. And he put a stop to it.”

“How, if you’re ok with me asking.”

“He went ahead and told the coach and the rest of the team that I was taking medication for bed wetting. Which there is for some reason a medication for. It didn’t work, I think it was a placebo.”

“You were still wetting the bed in sixth grade?” Picani looked concerned.

“Yeah, they all thought it was hilarious too.” Virgil sneered.

“I don’t, that’s a serious sign of emotional abuse.”

“Really? I thought there was just something wrong with me.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno, a brain tumor or something.”

“No, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve just been under a lot of stress.”

Virgil pulled his hoodie down over his legs.

“Are you cold, or do you just not want to talk to me?” Picani smiled.

“I’m not sure yet.”

“Ok, we won’t talk about Payton anymore.” Picani offered. “We can talk about something else.”

“There’s nothing else to talk about.” Virgil clenched his fists. “I only exist as an extension of him. Only doing the stuff he deems proper, only talking to the kids that he allows. Which is a dwindling list. Like I said, I’m just his prop. It’s like, you know when a gay dude dates a girl because he doesn’t want to admit he’s gay. Even to himself.”

“Yes, I’ve seen a lot of those.”

“It’s like that, but one step further. He gets to show off what a smart kid he has, and that somehow validates him. Like his sperm is awesome or something.”

“Well, I’m not here to analyze your dad. We’re here to talk about you.”

“What about me?”

“Well, we know that, like Raven, you feel like you need to have your guard up. But within the show Raven started letting her guard down around her friends and they helped her deal with her issues with her father. They all even defeated him in the end. But the point is that she couldn’t have done it alone. She needed them to help her grow past what had happened.”

Virgil put his feet on the floor.

“How am I supposed to know when to let my guard down? What if I let it down for the wrong person? What if I get hurt again?”

“You don’t have to tear down all your walls at once. And you don’t have to do it for the first person you see. I’m not telling you to make a total change. No one can rewrite their entire personality after just learning something once.”

“Is that from a cartoon?”

“Yes. But it’s true.”

“I guess.”

“It is, and Raven didn’t do a complete one eighty right away either. She let her walls come down slowly. And that is what I want you to do. Ok?”

“Ok.”

“We don’t have to discuss the abuse in detail right away. And you don’t have to tell the whole thing to your uncles just yet either. I just want you to understand that if Patton or one of the others is being kind to you, it’s just them being nice. No motives, nothing you need to protect yourself from.”

“Ok.”

# # #

Patton sat anxiously in his side of the glass. He thought these things only existed on TV. He watched guiltily as a guard brought Payton in. He was dressed in orange and had his wrists cuffed. Patton felt as if something just injected him with ice water. Payton sat down, glared at him through the glass and picked up the phone one his end.

“I figured you’d turn up eventually.” He said coldly. “Let me guess, you want custody of Virgil.”

“I wanted to talk.” Patton dropped his shoulders.

“What could we possibly discuss? The weather? Well, the weather in here is climate controlled.”

“Payton, I want to help you.”

“Bail is going to be set at something you can’t afford. You can’t possibly help me.”

“We can get you counseling or something. You don’t have to be angry.” Patton bit his lip. “You don’t have to lose your son. You can…”

“Change?” Payton finished for him. “That’s the problem. I don’t want to. I don’t see the problem with wanting a well-behaved kid. Or a promising career. Do you?”

“No, but…”

“Then why is the way I’m going about it so wrong?” He cut off.

“Because they’re investigating you for doing illegal stuff from when you were a lawyer. Because you got arrested for child abuse. Because your actions effect other people.”

“There it is.” Payton pointed at him. “By that logic, I can’t put a criminal in jail because being in jail would make him so unhappy. And defense lawyers are Satan because they defend bad people without thinking about the victim’s families.”

“Why is everything always an extreme with you!?” Patton stood up. “I ask you if you want help and you try to deconstruct society.”

“Aren’t you worried that your anger is affecting other people.” Payton smirked.

“Pay, please.” Patton sank back into his chair. “I don’t want to have to do this. I want to help you.”

“I don’t want your help. Serve your papers and go.”

“Payton please! If this is truly just an act, then for the love of God drop it right now! You don’t need to do this to be powerful. You don’t need to be powerful. So, can you at least drop this smooth tough guy thing for me. You don’t have to act like this for people to like you. You can change if you want to. I don’t care that you don’t feel things the same way as everyone else, I just don’t want you to hurt people. You don’t have to be isolated!”

“Too bad you didn’t leave those papers sooner.” Payton said coldly. “Then you could have stormed off after your little speech. But now we both have to sit in it.”

Patton stared at his brother in shock. He felt tears leaking down his face. He was losing it, he was losing Payton, he was losing this argument.

“I’m sorry.” Patton choked. “I’m sorry you feel like you need to act this way. I’m sorry I have to do this to you. I’m sorry you don’t want my help. I’m sorry you don’t wanna be my friend. And I’m very sorry you don’t want to change.” He stood up. “I gave the papers to the guard. Maybe you and me will meet sometime between here and eternity. And you can apologize to me and admit you were wrong.”

Not wanting another snide comeback, Patton hung up the phone and walked away. He sat in the car and cried for a long while before going to join the others. Virgil was just coming out of his appointment as he arrived. Naturally, Patton ducked in and hugged him.

“You ok?” Virgil laughed. “I was only gone for an hour.”

“I just needed a hug, kiddo.” Patton smiled in response.

Logan grabbed Patton’s shoulder knowingly and Roman nodded at him. Virgil looked at them curiously his lips parted slightly and his eyes thoughtful. He clearly knew something was up, but probably not what.

“You ready to rebuild your wardrobe after a whole week of quarantine?” Patton ruffled the kiddo’s hair.

“Sure. It’ll be nice to get out of the house, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit!” Roman slapped him on the back, almost knocking him over. “Now, settle a bet between myself and Logan. Are mummies and zombies the same thing?”

“No,” Patton answered quickly. “I don’t even see a single similarity between a mother and the undead.”

Logan groaned. Not unlike a zombie.

“Ok, mummies and zombies are not the same thing. Like even at all.” Virgil explained.

“I know, zombies don’t raise you.” Patton agreed.

“Are you really going to keep that up?” Logan asked, murder in his eyes.

“They’re both undead though.” Roman objected.

“Vampires are undead, are mummies vampires?” Logan retorted.

“Look, if a zombie bites you, you turn into a zombie. If a mummy bites you, the worst that’s gonna happen is you get tetanus. And you need to hit zombies in the brain to kill them, to kill mummies you have to break the curse or set them on fire.” Virgil continued.

“Between this and the ‘Jack is the bad guy thing’,” Roman pointed at him teasingly. “I’m really starting to not like you.”

Virgil dropped his shoulders and looked shocked. Like, genuinely shocked. He wasn’t just playing along.

“No, don’t get upset!” Roman immediately yelled. “I was only kidding. I was just trying to be funny. I still like you.”

“I knew that.” Virgil blushed and looked at his feet to save face.

“Ok then kiddos.” Patton put his arm around Virgil’s shoulder. “Let’s get going.”

They rode in a pleasant combination of silence and joking around. Patton sighed. They were just like a family.

“Virgil.” Roman sounded surprised. “Someone wrote ‘you’re gullible’ on the ceiling.”

“Joke’s on them.” Virgil didn’t look away from the window. “I can’t read.”

“Roman, if you wrote on the ceiling, I swear…” Logan started angrily.

“I didn’t. The joke is you tell someone that you’re gullible is written on the ceiling, and when they look there’s nothing there. Then you smirk at them because they fell for an obvious lie and are in fact gullible.” Roman explained quickly and tiredly.

“Hey uncle Logan.” Virgil chimed in. “What did this Virgil guy do to wind up as hell’s tour guide anyway?”

“He was in purgatory for not believing in God, but he was considered a perfect person. So, he couldn’t go to heaven or hell. That’s why they had purgatory.”

“What did he do that was so awesome to be considered Mr. Perfect?”

“I believe Dante liked him because he was a poet when he was alive.”

“That’s it?” His disappointment was audible.

“Even I don’t like the writer character concept.” Roman sneered. “It reads like self-insert fan fiction.”

“Isn’t the inferno self-insert fan fiction of catholic doctrine?” Patton asked looking back at Roman and Virgil. The Italians as he would now call them.

“Ok, Patton broke literature.” Roman sighed.

“By that logic, which is perfect.” Virgil began. “All writing is fanfiction. It’s alternate universe fanfiction of real life.”

“No.” Logan stumbled on his words. “I don’t like that.”

“I was wrong. Virgil broke literature.”

“Oh, good we’re here.” Logan sighed with relief.

Patton looked up at the front of the thrift store. It wasn’t too crowded for a Saturday.

“Ok kiddo,” Patton turned around to explain. “I know this is probably not what you’re used to, but we usually find cool stuff in here. We don’t have to replace everything at one place.”

Virgil looked at the store curiously, the back at Patton.

“Can I pick out my own clothes? He had a glimmer in his eyes.

“Yeah, we weren’t gonna do it. You’re a big boy.”

“It’s important to have your own style.” Roman added.

Virgil’s eyes lit up at the prospect of this newfound freedom.

Was there anything you were allowed to do? Inner Patton grumbled.

While they were in the store Virgil hung around Patton. The furthest he ever got away was about three feet. They bumped into each other a lot.

“Virgil.” Patton said softly. “You can go look at stuff. You don’t have to follow me.”

Virgil looked around tensely. He somehow had no idea what to do. Patton turned around and rubbed his temples. This wasn’t right.

“Let’s have the fashion orientated one help him shop.” Roman swooped in. “Nothing against you Padre, but you have three loud Hawaiian shirts and you still wear socks with sandals.”

“Just don’t dress him like Elton John.” Logan prodded, appearing behind Patton and wrapping his arms around him.

“I don’t dress like Elton.”

“You wore a feather boa on picture day.”

“You wore a dress to school once.” Patton added.

“I was Cinderella for Halloween.” Roman defended.

“How’d you find a dress your size?” Virgil mumbled, utterly baffled.

“Large and extra-large.” Roman moved his hands to the beat of the words. “Now let’s find you some new things.”

Roman led Virgil off.

“I thought you might need one of us to rescue you.” Logan explained.

“I’m really upset.” Patton said bluntly. “Virgil either acts like an adult or a little kid. It’s not right.”

“I know.”

“It’s almost like Payton broke him.”

“I know.”

“He’s so skittish around us.”

“I know.”

“It’s like he expects us to hurt him!”

“I know.”

“I don’t know if I’m doing this right.”

“You are.”

“I thought you were gonna say ‘I know’” Patton sighed.

“You knew that I know.” Logan hugged him tighter. “You needed to hear that you’re doing a good job.”

“What about this?” Virgil showed up out of nowhere, holding a purple, plaid flannel shirt.

“Where did you come from?” Logan looked at him startled.

“Virgil,” Patton sighed. “You can pick out your own clothes. You don’t need our approval.”

“What if I come back here with a dress?”

“We already established that Roman wears dresses sometimes.” Logan shrugged.

“That wasn’t a one-off joke?” Virgil leaned back. “He did that more than once?”

“Well, they made an issue about him wearing the dress on Halloween. So, he wore a dress for the rest of the school year.” Patton explained.

“And then more and more people started joining him.” Logan looked at the floor. “Including Patton and me.”

“And Remus started showing up in tight leather skirts.”

“Who’s Remus?” Virgil tilted his head.

“Roman’s twin brother. I told you about him.”

“They named him Remus?” Virgil squinted. “But Roman’s name is Roman. So, that makes them Roman and Remus. Like Romulus and Remus?”

“Hey,” Patton chirped. “You get it.”

“Their father was a history teacher.” Logan sighed.

“And their mom got no say in what to name them.” Virgil smiled sarcastically.

“I guess not.” Patton nodded. “Now, you go off and get some more clothes.”

“I’ll be back with a nice dress.” Virgil pointed sinisterly as he backed away.

“He is cute.” Logan agreed as Virgil left.

Virgil reappeared with Roman in tow. Roman looked a bit annoyed.

“What about this?” Virgil held up a black long sleeve shirt grey flowers going up the sleeves.

“You don’t need to sign off with us.” Logan sighed.

Roman looked at them as if to say, ‘now you know.’

“But is it ok?” Virgil really didn’t grasp this.

“Virgil, I draw the line at lingerie. Don’t come back here with sensual undergarments.” Logan explained flatly. “Aside from that, we trust your judgement on what you want to wear.”

“It’s beautiful.” Patton said blankly. “Go find some other cool things. And don’t worry about approval. Feel free to show us anything cool, but no more asking if it’s ok. Ok?”

“Ok.” Virgil nodded. He smiled at them and pulled up a grey shirt with a raven on it. “Quoth the raven; nevermore.” He recited happily.

“I didn’t know you were interested in poetry.” Logan smiled.

“Poe-atry?” Patton added. “Get it, pun intended.”

“Pun always intended.” Virgil added seriously.

“He’s a poet, and he didn’t know it.” Roman recited dramatically.

“Why must you always make dad jokes?” Logan sighed.

“Oh, lover’s tiff.” Roman teased. “We’d better let them have a moment alone. Come on Virgil, let’s find you some pants.”

The two walked off back into the aisles.

“While we’re here we should get some books on parenting.” Patton said flatly. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“I completely agree.” Logan paused. “On getting books that is. I think you’re doing fine.”

“I left Virgil to try a few things on.” Roman came back to them. “He seems to be having fun.”

“That’s good.” Patton looked at the floor.

“What did Payton say?” Roman said softly.

“He doesn’t want my help. He doesn’t want my friendship. And he doesn’t want Virgil.”

“Maybe that means he won’t fight us for custody.” Logan lied, and they knew he didn’t believe that for a second.

“Logan.” Roman sighed. “We all know that Clod Frollo is going to fight us tooth and nail. Whether he has a chance to win or not. Thanks anyway.”

“That’s just evil.” Patton stared intently at the ground. “It’s not like we’re fighting over a toy. This is a person. A person he’s more than willing to torture just to spite me.”

“What do we think of this.” Virgil interrupted, mimicking Roman’s voice.

Virgil stood before them in a floor length, strapless prom dress. The purple satin flowed off his gaunt shoulders like water. He held the top portion up with one hand as he modeled it cockily for them. There was a glimmer in his eyes that the other three hadn’t seen before.

“I know you’re joking. But you totally work that dress.” Roman’s voice got gayer. “But you probably need something with straps. You’re not as well-endowed as an eighteen-year-old girl might be.”

“Are you saying I can’t wear this because I don’t have boobs.” Virgil took on an effeminate tone and did several hand gestures.

Once he stopped holding the dress up it slid down around his waist. He went red and pulled it back up in an instant.

“I’m gonna go change before someone steals my clothes.” He said quietly.

“Well, it certainly is a good thing you don’t have bosoms.” Roman joked to lighten the mood. “Or you would have flashed the whole store.”

Virgil looked at him, beet red and pointed one hand accusingly.

“Don’t think you can get out of giving me one of those crappy beaded necklaces.” He said, barely holding back laughter.

Virgil walked off and Roman fell to the ground laughing as soon as he was out of sight.

“It looks like he’s gained a little bit of weight since he’s been with us.” Patton observed awkwardly.

“And that rash seems to have cleared up.” Logan agreed.

Neither of them wanted to be the one who was shocked at how skinny Virgil actually was, or to have to point out how many yellow bruises still marked his skin. No one really wanted to mention that he weighed all of ninety-five pounds. Not now, not while he was happy and acting like a kid again.

“I love him.” Roman broke the tension, wiping away tears. “Adopt him faster.”

“I’m glad he’s happy.” Patton smiled.

“We’ll pick up a few books on nutrition as well.” Logan added. “I’d like him to regain the weight healthily.”

Virgil rejoined them with an armload of findings.

“No dress?” Roman faked disappointment.

“It didn’t work with my hair.” Virgil mimed fluffing long hair.

“That’s ok kiddo,” Patton ruffled his hair. “We’ll find you a dress for prom.”

Virgil laughed softly and stared down at his feet. Patton pulled his hand back. These were always the moments when Virgil’s anxiety would pop up. Patton was tempted to think that he had post-traumatic stress disorder. And after thirteen years of that kind of abuse who wouldn’t.

“You ok sweetie?” Patton knelt to eye level.

“I’m fine.” Virgil looked up at him, his eyes were watery. “It’s just kind of dusty in here.”

“Ok,” Patton pretended to buy that. “How about we try to find you some shoes? You and Officer Joan don’t exactly have the same feet.”

“Shouldn’t we wait until I get the cast off?” Virgil rubbed one of his arms. “Otherwise my shoes are gonna wear out at different time.”

“Shoes don’t wear out at the same time anyway.” Roman swatted the idea out of the air. “My left shoe always disintegrates at least a month before the right has any problems. And I’m a dancer, I go through shoes twice as fast.”

Virgil looked at him as if he didn’t know what to say.

“Well.” Logan clapped his hands, which made Virgil jump. “There’s no harm in looking. And whether you choose to wear the shoes before or after you get your cast off is up to you. But you need shoes regardless.”

“I’ll help you look.” Roman hooked his arm around Virgil’s shoulders. “I know it’s tempting to just get the cheapest shoes you can find, but pricier shoes are much cheaper in the long run. Shoes are an investment.”

“Mama always said that if you’re gonna spend money you should either get new shoes or a new bed. ‘Cause you’re always in one or the other.” Patton added happily.

“And Patton says to get the cheapest pants you can find, ‘cause you know you’re gonna take them off as soon as you’re in the door.” Roman teased.

“Not in front of Virgil.” Patton mumbled harshly.

“Why not?” Logan stabbed him in the back. “If you plan to continue taking your pants off Virgil is going to see it at some point.”

Virgil looked up at them questioningly, there was a glimmer in his eyes. Probably hope.

Maybe we should just tell him. Inner Patton suggested. But I don’t wanna tell him and end up losing him. That’d be the ultimate blow. To make that kind of promise and not be able to keep it. I can’t put him through the stress of a courtroom drama. And I certainly can’t give him hope just to take it away. And I really can’t do any of those things in the middle of a thrift store.

“Come on kiddo.” Patton ruffed up his hair, which was very soft now that it was clean. “Let’s find you some edgy footwear.”

They walked in silence towards the shoes.

“Hey Kiddo,” Patton looked down at his nephew. “I bought shoes from a drug dealer. And I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day!”

Virgil beamed up at him and laughed his poor little repressed laugh. Roman sighed; Logan face palmed. Life was good.

“I like that your drug dealer is your go-to guy for shoes.” Virgil smiled. “Is he your sole supplier?”

“Yep, he always gives me good shoes and some drugs to boot.”

“How are his prices? Would you say they had high tops?”

“Some are stiletto sharp.”

“I hope he’s not too Sketchers-y.”

“No, he’s a really Nike guy.”

“Does he know how to shoe the cops away?”

“He sure Adidas.” (Addi-Does).

“I will end you both!” Roman stopped them. “No more dad jokes.”

“Agreed,” Logan added. “That was painful.”

“You two never did get my sense of humor.” Patton pretended to sob.

“Maybe their shoes are too tight.” Virgil offered flatly.

Patton ruffled Virgil’s hair once more.

“Glad to see you’re swimming in my end of the gene pool. The fun side. The side with all the pool floaties.”

Virgil smiled at him in return. Could this be it? The moment he isn’t body tackled by fear when he was with them? Was he finally comfortable? Virgil rubbed his arm and smiled awkwardly. The uncertainty danced in his eyes. Maybe next time.

They reached the shoes and found a familiar figure dressed in gothic attire. His shoulder length black hair draped over his pale face as he examined a pair of boots. Similarly, his black cloak draped around his white shirt and black vest, enveloping him in a shadow.

“Damian!” Roman called out to him happily.

“Salutations fellows!” Damian returned eagerly, holding out his arms. “It has been ages since I’ve seen you.”

Patton darted over and hugged him.

“I know,” He sighed. “We’ve been swamped with things and we were kinda under quarantine. Did you know scarlet fever and strep throat are the same thing?”

“Yes, I did learn that they were one and the same.” Damian smiled. “I was a bit disappointed.”

“Oh!” Patton suddenly looked over his shoulder. “You haven’t met Virgil yet!”

Patton saw that Virgil was standing right where he left him. Virgil stood there, mouth agape and eyes sparkling. He radiated pure awe.

“Looks like you have a fan.” Roman commented shooting a grin in Damian’s direction.

“Virgil,” Logan said calmly. “This is our neighbor Damian.”

“You look awesome!” Virgil yelped. “You look like one of the cool vampires! Or, someone straight out of Henry James! Did you time travel here, or are just awesome in the present?”

“I assure you I’m from this time era.” Damian smiled warmly. “And I am charmed by your appreciation for the gothic subculture.” He bowed with a flourish. “You must be Virgil.”

“I am.” Virgil squeaked, still star struck. “I’m staying with my uncles until…” He looked over his shoulder at Logan, then he looked at Patton. He shrugged. “Until something happens, I guess.”

“Well, I do hope your stay is pleasant. And that this unforeseen event is a good one.”

“I’ve had a good stay so far.” Virgil perked up. “Hey! We have the same color eyes.”

“I noticed. But I’m afraid mine are colored contacts.”

“I don’t think I’d have the guts to poke my own eyes.”

“It’s not quite that bad. And one does get used to it.”

“Say, Virgil.” Roman added eagerly. “Damian has a son around your age.”

“Really?” Virgil looked between the two of them. “Is he ok to hang out with?”

“Well, he has the occasional rebellious teen moment.” Damian said, trying to mask concern. “But he is a really sweet young man. And I’m sure you two would get on like a…” he paused. “I’m sure you two would get on.”

Virgil looked to Patton for permission. Patton smiled and gave him a thumbs up. Maybe he just needed reassurance this time around. Maybe he won’t be like this every time like he was with the clothes.

“Cool.” Virgil turned away from Patton. “I’d like to meet him sometime.”

“Will the four of you be attending Jenna and Julian’s barbeque for Memorial Day?” Damian asked, turning to Patton.

“I hope we can make it.” Patton smiled. “It’d be a good way to introduce Virgil to everyone.”

“That is true.” Logan adjusted his glasses. “Food often softens the blow of social interaction.”

“We’ll make a goth out of you yet, Logan.”

“Maybe you can get some kids to sign your cast.” Patton ruffled Virgil’s hair.

“Yeah, that does sound cool.” Virgil smiled at him, a pensive look in his eyes.

They continued their banter with Damian and managed to find a pair of black sneakers in Virgil’s size. With their clothes mission finished Patton took Virgil for a lap around the miscellaneous section to see if he could find anything to spice up his room.

“Do I need to have stuff in my room?” Virgil asked, trailing a bit behind him. “I don’t know how long I’m gonna be here.”

Patton paused. Did Virgil really think there was a chance they’d ever let his dad get him again?

“You’re gonna be here a while Kiddo,” Patton reassured. “At least as long as I have a say in it.”

“Ok, but I read that kids in foster care normally end up back with their parents.”

“Who said you were in foster care?” Logan emerged from behind them. “You’re staying with us for at least another seven years. That’s the minimum sentence for arson in this state.”

“So, he’s really going to prison?” Virgil looked skeptical.

“Well, he did break the law.” Patton put a hand on Virgil’s shoulder. He flinched and relaxed.

“But don’t people like him always get off with stuff? He a huge list of people that he was blackmailing, and no one caught on. His law practice is dodgy at best, no one said anything. And…” He trailed off. “No one did anything.” He whispered.

Tear started showing in his eyes and he trembled at the thoughts coming at him.

“No one did anything when my grades dropped from A’s to F’s. They just assumed I was stupid. No one did anything when I lost twenty pounds because a can’t eat without throwing up anymore!”

Patton wrapped his poor anxious little baby in his arms.

“It’s ok. It’s ok. You’re safe now.” He soothed, stroking Virgil’s hair.

“What about when he dislocated my elbow?” Virgil’s voice became a sob. “Or when I ‘fell down the stairs’ they didn’t even check if he was lying about the morphine. There was no way he’d know if I was allergic to it because I’d never had it before. They could have checked!”

“Patton maybe you should take him out to the car.” Logan said quickly. “Roman and I will pay for everything and be right with you.”

Patton nodded and gently pulled Virgil towards the door and managed to get him out without a struggle.

#logicality #parental moxiety #parental anological #platonicLAMP #famILY #sanders sides human au #logan sanders #logan x patton #patton sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders

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homesteadchronicles · 4 years

Text

10 Questions Tag

Thank you so much for tagging me, @songsofaleria! You had such interesting answers, and I wanted to ensure that I could give the same enthusiasm with my responses. Buckle up, y’all! You might learn a thing or two about moi.

1. What are you characters favorite foods/snacks?

What’s sad is that I have a hard time answering this solely because I am not a snack person. Blasphemy, I know - I just prefer whole meals! If we’re talking modern-day snacks? Oeden’s chowing down on salt and vinegar chips, Royan would be a Twinkies guy (no jokes, please, spare my boy), Medea’s a cinnamon girl - the kind that scarfs down Hot Tamales like they’re nothing, Carmila would snack on individual pretzel sticks while she works (and is the kind to suck the salt clean off of them because she keeps getting lost in thought while they’re in her mouth), Farukh would be a jerky guy, and Kasumi’s the kind to carry around little veggie packets and dip.

If we’re talking in-universe snacks? Come on. Fantasy worlds don’t have fun snacks! Although I did write one excerpt with Oeden and his mom, Nadielle, chowing down on spiced pufferfish spines which I’m relatively sure are not a real thing...and likely should not be.

2. What playlists do you listen to when writing?

I made a playlist of worship songs for my friends who are newer to my church and I’ve been jamming to that while I write because it’s the only lyric-inclusive music I can listen to that won’t interfere with my writing. Plus, because writing can drain my body and darken my thoughts, I need something positive and godly to revitalize me and keep me centered.

3. Which OC is/was your favorite to create?

There’s one character I’ve talked about in passing, but I haven’t dedicated an entire section to him yet. I don’t know if he’s my favorite, but he has a special place in my heart: Algon. He pays homage to one of my personal heroes and mentors, so there’s always a giddy little part of my heart when I get to write him. Plus, the development he goes through is...well, heartbreaking, but also beautiful over time.

4. What is the first book you read that made you cry?

Oh gosh, I can’t remember! I was a big crybaby when I was little, so I probably wept at the slightest thing gone wrong. Aslan dying in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe always got me.

5. Do you hide any secrets in your books as a way of foreshadowing?

If you read something in my stories, assume it will eventually foreshadow something. I treat my books as a game of I-Spy, wondering when readers will find the most hidden clues I snuck in there.

6. What is the most difficult part of your writing process?

This might sound strange, but knowing when it’s “right”. I’m a perfectionist, an INFJ, and a Type One Enneagram - otherwise known as someone who is paralyzed by the thought of doing something wrong. I don’t just write for fun, I write to do what I believe I’m meant to do in my life. And if something I produced was lesser than what was meant? If I wasted my time or led someone down the wrong path because I did it wrong? Game over for me. I spend SO much time deciding whether I’ve had this character do the right thing, built the world correctly, etc. that it’s...crippling, to be honest.

7. Which of your characters would you liked like to meet/get to know irl?

You know, I had a lot of different answers to this...but I’m gonna go with Kasumi. I have a habit of befriending people who need my guidance or leadership and/or people who make me laugh and are fun but aren’t deep enough to hang with me intimately. Kasumi, while deeply flawed, is someone who would want to help me as much as I help her. She’d listen, she’d advise, she’d protect, she’d spend time making art with me, we could go adventuring when necessary and stay inside when we’re down. I feel like we could be besties in a heartbeat!

8. Was there a situation in your writing that you took from your own life?

There are snippets and themes that I use, as everyone does, as inspiration. But generally, I try to limit that because I don’t want it seeming self-insert-y. However, there are a few specific instances and issues I feel personally convicted to write upon based on my experiences with and overcoming of them. But none of the situations in my stories are one-on-one parallels.

9. Do your characters have reoccurring symbolism in their dreams?

HOO BOY! You opened a whole can of worms for one character in particular: Oeden. I’ve changed what his dreams entail eighteen thousand times, but he always envisions a vault (which is a main theme in my story, and certainly no secret) long before he ever finds it. Lots of other things, too: torn wedding veils, man made into gods, blood poured on white moons, angels in plain sight, and an unknown voice calling out to him. You know, totally normal dream stuff!

10. Which Hogwarts houses would you sort your characters into?

I’ve def done this before, but I don’t remember everyone’s. I think it was: Royan is Gryffinpuff, Oeden is Slytherclaw, Medea is Slytherin, Farukh is Slytherdor, Briggid is Ravenclaw, Kasumi is Hufflepuff, Carmila is...crap, I can’t remember!

Questions for Those Tagged to Answer: 1. When you find a book at the store, what about it makes you decide to buy it or put it back on the shelf? 2. What would your book’s ideal cover look like, should you have access to any artist you’d want and any resources you would need to make it a reality? 3. If you could rewrite one story - be it a book, game, movie, show, etc. - which would it be and why? 4. Have you ever given a story a second chance and liked it better the next time through? What caused your opinion to change? 5. What do you believe endears an audience to a character? 6. What kind of romances do you prefer to read about and/or watch unfold? (Soft and shy, hot and sexy, slow burn, enemies to lovers, etc.) 7. What type of AU’s are your guilty pleasures, be they for your stories or for others? (Modern, High School/University, Coffee Shop, Vampires, etc.) 8. If only one age demographic would ever read your books, which would you choose and why? 9. If you could pay homage to one person in your life through your stories and/or characters, who would it be and why? 10. If every reader walked away from your story having been changed in one significant way, what would you want it to be and why?

Tagging: @rhavencroft, @incandescent-creativity, @fair-folk-nonsense, @stardustspiral, @ardawyn, @lady-redshield-writes, @feathered-quill, @hannahs-creations, @cogesque, @merigreenleaf

#tag #tagged #tag game #writeblr #writeblr community #writing community #write #writer #writing #10 questions tag game

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harry-leroy · 5 years

Note

This isn't a writer's ask but I've been thinking about how much I love all of TEP but especially the backstory elements, I'm really curious what your current timeline for the Gloucester boys' childhood looks like. No pressure if it's not solid or if that's too many spoilers but I'd love to know more about how it's all laid out! Hope you're doing great!

Thank you so much for this, Macy! (This is gonna help me with some of it, just being able to write it out somewhere instead of just having it in my head... which is where it is right now). That being said, it’s not totally solid yet, just because I’m not entirely set on how I want this whole thing structured. I have somewhat of a general idea, but it’s not 100% there yet, so I’ll give you what I have (because these boys absolutely wreck me too so I completely understand). [And I don’t even care about spoilers anymore, I’m just going to tell all because it’s all still in the planning stages, so all subject to complete change hehehe].

- So Edgar’s mother, Margaret, was in her late teens when she married Gloucester, who was in his mid-twenties. They eventually had a son a few years later, Edgar, although he had no name for a year. Lear was off fighting in France and they wanted him to name the child (or at least Gloucester did). I’m feeling (and this might be too clean-cut) that Margaret started calling the boy “Thomas” in private. She didn’t want Lear to name the child, but eventually Gloucester got his way.

- In the meantime, Gloucester and Kent were sent off to France to help aid in the war effort. They both find themselves in a rough area one night, both of them sleeping with women they found on the street. One of those women is Edmund’s mother, Celine. Gloucester impregnates her and essentially leaves her to deal with this child that she has no money to raise. Celine, being a clever politician and knowing exactly who she slept with, persists in getting Gloucester to acknowledge the child and bring the boy back with him to England, much to his shame.

- Once Margaret finds that Gloucester has slept with this woman, and got a child out of her, and brought this child back to England. She is beyond heartbroken (this is when the naming for Edgar takes place, so it’s even worse for her). She becomes violently ill and Edgar is taken in by Christine, Albany’s governess, as is Edmund. She dies not long afterwards.

- The boys are raised together, becoming one another’s best friend as they are raised under Christine’s guidance, and she becomes a mother to them. Gloucester is only slightly involved in their upbringing until the boys get a little older, but he always seems to favor Edgar, and for a long time appears ashamed that Edmund’s in the picture at all. And you can bet that it reaches Edmund in a highly negative way, which makes Edgar upset. Edgar was always protective of his little brother, and would always call him ‘brother’ and nothing less.

- Edgar grows up wildly imaginative, somewhat theatrical, highly empathetic (which causes him to be sensitive beyond belief), kind, poetic, artistic, and eager to please. Edmund grows up somewhat advanced for his age (both of these boys did honestly, just in different ways), smart, also eager to please, also kind when he wants to be, stubborn, but highly capable.

- When the boys reach their teenage years, their duties start splitting. Edgar is taken under his father’s wing, schooled in military tactics, in law, in violence, in leadership (all things Edmund would love to learn). At first, being eager to please, Edgar is perceptible to all of this, wanting to be the man his father was. So he becomes very well read in law and in warfare. He basically has the whole world figured out by the time he’s sixteen. Then he starts seeing all the cracks in the wall, all the horribleness, everything that’s wrong with Lear’s awful regime. He starts spending more time on his own, only doing his duties because he’s afraid of the consequences of refusing. Edmund, in the meantime, is also being educated, but only as far as to join the army when he’s eighteen. It’s not the kind of attention he wants to be getting. Edmund would kill to be in his brother’s position.

- By the time Edgar’s eighteen, he’s anxious, misanthropic, losing faith in God, and when Christine dies, he becomes terrified of the idea of death. He is forced to join the army by his father. Albany promises Gloucester to look after Edgar, but Albany can see that Edgar is terribly unhappy. Edgar proves a terrible soldier, and even though he’s made ‘friends’ in the army, he loathes all of them for some reason or other. It’s also at the time that Lear and Gloucester agree that Edgar should marry Cordelia (the two of them are friends, but have never considered themselves lovers. They agree to go through with it for the sake of convenience).

- One night, around when Edgar’s nineteen, a group of Lear’s soldiers around Edgar’s age are all drunk, they make a petition to kill Lear and overthrow him at his jubilee parade, tired of all of the war and oppression that he’s been inflicting on the world outside. Edgar also signs the petition, but he’s completely sober. The petition ends up in Edgar’s coat pocket, and then it sits on his desk until the thought of this suicide mission drives him into a guilt-driven psychotic break. He spills ink all over his name, and also over his letters to Cordelia. Edmund catches him and calms him down enough to get him to a doctor, although Edgar has long since lost contact with reality. However, Edmund also sees Edgar’s treason, half-blotted out. He decides to save his brother by rewriting the petition without his brother’s name on it. He burns the other one. He hands the note back to one of the soldiers, hoping that they succeed because Edmund too strongly dislikes Lear.

- While Edmund saves his brother, he also betrays him. Jealous that his brother is to be married to Cordelia (and not believing that sickness to be as bad as it was), Edmund takes the ink-blotted letters and shows them to Lear, advising the king against the marriage as his brother is mad and clearly not in love with Cordelia, therefore completely ill-suited to be her husband. Lear agrees. Edmund joins the English army upon his eighteenth birthday. Cornwall takes him under his wing. Edmund enjoys the army, because everyone starts out on the same level and people only move up in the world through merit. He takes a nine-year tour in France, hoping to become a Major by the end (which he does).

- Edgar, meanwhile, recovers in Albany’s care. The jubilee plot falls through, but the group of knights on the new petition that Edmund drew up are all still executed. Edgar is removed from service due to his health. He eventually goes into public relations once he is well enough, working closely with Goneril. She is intensely jealous of Albany’s love for Edgar (which is going to play out in some way, but I’m not set on it yet). Edgar writes to Edmund during those nine years, never completely recovering, but he’s well enough to be on his feet. Edmund never reveals that he saved his brother, nor does he reveal that he was the one who destroyed Edgar’s possible marriage with Cordelia (although it probably would have fallen through on its own).

That’s what I’ve got so far! (Or at least these are ideas- they all need fleshing out and reorganizing, but here they are!) Thank you so much for this wonderful ask, Macy! (And for your constant support on this project - it means more than I can say!) Much love :)

#thank you so much for this macy!#much love #tep #the edgar project #edgar + edmund #my boys #the gloucester boys #my writing #writing #friends!#this was a joy to answer #and it helped me shuffle my ideas around a bit #so thank you so much!#:)

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arthurtristankingsmen · 5 years

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i'm no kind of expert on these things and the example i'm pulling from was talking about art/drawing, but basically when you start producing content (writing, in this case) you start looking at the fics you read more analytically. not enough to churn out essays on the topic, but your brain goes "i want to be better at this thing so i'm going to look at other things and evaluate if I think they're good and if so, how do they do it good." your eye for critique stat goes up (1/2)

much faster than your writing stat. as a result, you look at the things you’ve written and go “oh man, I suck at this.” but you don’t! it’s going to take time to grind out that writing stat so it’s near your eye for critique, and until then you’re going to read over what you’ve written and think it’s crap. so make writing nonstressful, write whatever you want and then rewrite and rewrite and rewrite until you feel like it’s ready. even if you never think it will be, just writing is practice (2/3

and there’s no reason you have to post every single thing you write. want to try some crazy experimental styles? feel like you’re stuck in a mood and want to capture it? maybe even some random ship in some obscure work? go wild! practice is practice is practice–and if an empty document is intimidating, write a bad joke at the top and refer back to it as needed. so long as you’re having fun, you’re doing it right :) (3/3)

// I actually do know what you’re referencing. It goes in waves of your Artistic eye developing faster than your skill, and than vice versa, like a ribbon of progression. But honestly ‘your eye for critique stat goes up much faster than your writing stat’ is my favorite way you could have expressed that ever haha

But yeah! I totally understand where you’re going. I tend to write a lot more on discord- I rp with one or two friends short little things like aus and stuff that are low pressure. But I do want to eventually get back to being like. What feels like an actual writer, I guess? Or writing things I want to. I’ve started tackling dnd character backgrounds to ease in, and once I get the last one I’m on done, I’m gonna try writing more scene style writing like I like. I hope once the metaphorical rust is cleaned off, I’ll just do what I can to improve and persevere. Thank you so much for the advice though!!

#answering things #ooc #tristan rambles #advice #i appreciate it!!#and i'll do my best <3 #thank you friend #Anonymous

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 5 years

Text

Zoophobia Rewrite #3

Disclaimer,

This is not a series meant to critique vivziepop herself as, not sure if you noticed, zoophobia is kinda old. I personally believe that if we find flaws in media we enjoy, it can help us find flaws in our own work, and improve. This series is also my sad attempt to entertain people.

Zoophobia belongs to Vivziepop.

I apologize for wasting your time, and I hope you enjoy.

- ATOUN

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We start off our arc with Cameron attempting to sneak into school without being noticed. This fails as she runs into Malcolm and Percy. After being subjected to their torturous chatter, Zech comes to the rescue, requesting that Cameron come with him for a little chat.

Once they're alone, Zech makes a proposition to Cam; for the next couple months, he wants her to spend one or more days with each of the teachers. This will help Cam become more familiar (thus more comfortable ) with the staff and students. Cameron hesitantly agrees, telling herself she'll have to get used to this place somehow.

Since she's already met her (and thinks she's a human ), Cameron decides to spend the day with Jackie.

Cut to the drama class. Kayla and Zill have their little song, and during it, we get reactions from Cam and Jackie indicating how good they are. Jackie also brags a bit about her two "star students " to Cameron. Cameron, however, is slightly creeped out by Zill. It bugs her to not be able to identify what he is, and she ends up looking around the room for something else to look at. She decides to get some assignment sheets for Jackie, under the guise of being a helpful little assistant. Jackie agrees, sending Cam to fetch some papers for her next class that are located in the back row of the auditorium.

Cam goes to search for the papers, but bumps into....*gasp* everyone's favorite witch, Sahara. Yes folks, we're giving her some sort of introduction. She is sitting beside the papers cam needs, and cam needs to reach over her to get them. Seeing that Sahara is preoccupied reading a spell book, Cam attempts to reach over her without being noticed. This fails, causing the two to make eye contact, which freaks Cam out. Cam instinctively demands to know what Sahara is. Sahara is annoyed by this and basically says;

"Lady, I'm a fucking human. Calm your god Damn tits. What, you gonna give me shit for being a human? "

Of course, Cam reacts with "Oh thank fuck, another human " and kinda hugs Sahara, causing an awkward moment between the two. Cam composes herself, apologises, and asks about Sahara's book to lighten the mood. Sahara coldly explains that she considers herself a witch. To Sahara's surprise, Cam tells her that she thinks magic is cool, and says she bets that Sahara is really good at it. Sahara does brush this off, saying that she isn't actually that good, but she still appreciates the compliment and is even beaming somewhat.

Cam retreaves the papers for Jackie just as the duet between Zill and Kayla wraps up. The couple stare deeply into each other's eyes, totally not making out mentally. Suddenly, Damian materializes on the piano.

Quick thing here. In the Rewrite, there's a bit of an ongoing gag with Damian where he just kinda materializes out of thin air, and disappears in the same manner. Where'd he come from? Where'd he go? Where'd he come from Cotton eyed joe? Nobody knows. Weather he teleports, stealthily levitates around, or is just that good at sneaking up on people is anyone's guess.

Damian makes his bad attempt at flirting with Kayla. Kayla panics and, like the good Christian girl she is, proceeds to yeet herself away from the sinful demon. Zill snaps at Dame, telling him to fuck off, but Dame decides to be a shit and go "Je ne peux pas parler anglais "( I can't speak English ). Zill goes to punch him, only for Damian to disappear into thin air. Zill sighs in frustration and goes off to find and comfort Kayla.

Backstage, Jack, Spam, and Vanex watch what goes down between nacho cheese grape juice and the sinnimon roll from hell. Spam laughs, thinking that Dame's antics are funny, Vanex doesn't even seem to care, and just comments that the singing was "passable". Jack is face palming, and excuses himself to go apologize for Dames behavior. He is suddenly intercepted by the little devil child himself, who, once again, materializes out of thin air. Jack tries to call Damian out on his shit, but Damian brushes it off with his "Christian girls always give into temptation" speech from the OG. Jack respondes by asking Damian why Kayla would ever go out with a weirdo like him. Jack's back is turned to Dame, so he doesn't notice Damian pause for a moment, clearly displeased at being called weird, but he recovers quickly. He asks Jack if Zill is really a good boyfriend, and brings up Zill's womanizing past. Jack tries to tell Damian that Zill is twice the guy Dame will ever be, only for Damian to go "Btw, how long has it been since something fell on you? " Right on cue, a curtain falls on top of Jack.

Sahara rushes out, apologizing, and saying that her magic melted the curtain rod. Here, we get banter between her and Dame. Unlike Jack, Sahara calls Damian out successfully, which doesn't faze Damian in the least. Their banter ultimately amounts to "LOL, I'm a little shit""Trust me bitch, I know ". Sahara drags Damian offstage while Spam and Vanex help Jack.

Zill and Kayla are cuddling in each other's arms a little off to the side. Kayla apologises and says she'd be able to stand up to Damian, but for some reason, he creeps her out. Part of it may be due to his apparent ability to teleport. Zill reassures her that nothing Damian does will affect their relationship.

Meanwhile, Cameron and Jackie are discussing the upcoming talent show. Jackie invites Cameron to come help, and Cameron accepts, saying humans should stick together. We get the same reveal of Jackie being a bird as in the original because I'm not gonna lie, I love that part. And of course, Carrie is watching from the door. The class ends same way it does in the OG

Instead of Cameron's meeting with Carrie taking place a week later, we're pushing it to right now. As Cameron leaves the class, a wild Carrie appears. Here, we get the same convo between the two of them from the OG, however, the excuse Cameron gives is that she has to clean up her office instead of helping with the talent show. Carrie invites her to her part of the school whenever Cameron wishes to come over. We also meet Fabian in the same way we do in the OG.

Now onto the power couple. We get our conversation between Zill and Kayla where they have this dumb misunderstanding where Zill thinks Kayla is taking about the talent show when she's really talking about their anniversary. We all know how this song and dance go, so skip to Kayla's conversation with Vanex. Hold onto your trousers, folks, we're giving Vanex LINES. We're also trying to give a reason as to how Jack appears to be the only one who can tell Zill about this anniversary. When Kayla starts going on about how Zill is so great he could be the real Slim Shady(, so will he please stand up, ) Vanex sighs, and asks Kayla if she's "going to do the same thing she did last year". See, last year, Kayla obsessed over her and zill's anniversary, telling everyone about it and never shutting up about it. This caused Zill to panic while planning that anniversary since he wanted to meet kayla's expectations. This serves as a reflection of both characters.

Kayla admits that Vanex is right, and decides she'll just wait for Zill to surprise her and not put any pressure on him.

Cut to Zill and Jack talking. Jack realizes what's going on here, and is about to tell Zill his mistake. Buuut, somebody materializes behind Jack and keeps his mouth shut. When Zill asks Jack what he forgot, Dame, of course, pretends its about the talent show. However, Zill actually gets a shot in at Dame here. He asks Dame if he really thinks he'd get in with a petty fiddle solo. Now, this was actually Zill making a joke, referencing "Devil Goes Down to Georgia". But of course, as we learn from the Son of 666 film, we know how this would strike a nerve with Damian. For a second, he's outraged at Zill's comment, but quickly recovers, stating that he could win, no matter what he did.

You guys have probably noticed that I'm having a lot of characters make pot shots at Damian in this rewrite. This is because I'm using these moments to build up to Dame's eventual breakdown in the next chapter.

So Zill wanders off, still unaware of his mistake. Jack starts yelling at Damian, and they get in a bit of an argument. Jack, understandably, is pissed, and calls Damian's actions selfish and uncaring. Damian, however thinks the entire thing would be hilarious. He tries to get Jack to go along with the joke, stating that if Kayla was out of the picture, Jack and Zill could go back to the way they were before. Jack asks Damian if he is so inhuman that he can't think of anyone but himself. The "inhuman " comment finally seems to make Damian snap, and he throws Jack into a locker, planning to have him stay locked in there for an entire week.

Later that day, Cameron decides to visit Carrie. This is a conscious decision she makes since she knows she'll have to eventually get used to the place. She mosies on over to Carrie's place, only to get almost killed by Carrie's pet unicorn, Brutus. Cam passes out. Carrie sighs, and begrudgingly carries Cam back home, praising Cam for her efforts under her breath.

Now, hop into your time machines, everyone! Onto next week.

Cameron is neurotic and is looking over her shoulder constantly, believing that Brutus will come after her. Walking into the try outs, we get the Gustav and Mackenzie scene. I'm making it so that Gustav is somewhat discriminatory towards humans (ch5 seems to imply that this sort of discrimination exists ). He greets Cameron rudely, and, of course, kicks Mackenzie off stage, referring to her as an it. Gustav is only discriminatory towards those who are fully human. Shapeshifters or wild Addisons do not count. Just clearing that up.

Nathan acts as the opposite to Gustav's ideas, and it's clear they have some history or relationship with each other, but Nathan is more of a marshmallow, so Gustav almost always gets his way around him.

After the Mackenzie scene, Cameron is introduced to Gustav and Nathan, and when their done, Gustav calls Next! but there is already someone on stage. Sahara is bored and leaning on her cauldron, texting. When she realizes that everyone is staring at her, she straight up sasses Gustav. She asks is she'll get kicked off for no reason as well by some over privileged snakey fucker who clearly has no fashion sense, and who clearly doesn't have the maturity to handle judging kids who just want to preform. Gustav is insulted, and Jackie cuts in, trying to diffuse the situation by having Sahara do her magic. Sahara asks them to hang on as two of her friends are texting her. Here, Addison is name dropped (and his name gets Gustav's attention ). He's apparently trying to ask Sahara where the fuck Damian went as he's been "acting wierd for the past week"

After Sahara's failure of a performance, Gustav make a snide comment about humans which Jackie reprimands him for. We get the convo between Zill and Sahara where Sahara reveals everything. But how does she know about the anniversary? Because of the other person she was texting. Damian.

See, Damian "just so happened to be passing by kayla's house " and he "just so happened to glance in the window and see Kayla sitting all alone by herself " and he felt "so sorry for her since it was her and her boyfriend's anniversary and he didn't seem to care." So when Sahara sees zill, her reaction is "WTF why are you not celebrating your anniversary with your girl?"

Zill realizes his mistake, but it's too late once he gets to Kayla's home. Kayla is suspicious and asks where he's been and Zill sheepishly confesses what happened. They have there breakup, and Zill walks home sadly.

The next morning we cut to Cameron standing in front of Carrie's door. She's hesitant to come in, and jumps when Carrie suddenly opens the door. Turns out Carrie saw Cameron outside her window and came down to let her in. She reassures Cam that she'd never eat her (she's waaaaaay to skinny to be nutritious) and invites her in, offering some whisky. Cameron declines, saying she doesn't drink, and Carrie asks about the talent show. Cameron actually found the entire thing to be terrifying because animals, but she tells Carrie that it was.... interesting. Carrie says "well at least you enjoyed it. Some people didn't seem to have the same reaction. "

Cue the classroom scene with unhappy go-unlucky boi, sad nacho cheese grape juice and the sinnimon roll from hell. Jack is concerned about Zill, but his comforting is interrupted by Damian's "Oh he's so broken "thing. However, Damian does this in more of a drama queen fashion, basically mocking Zill's attitude. Jack loses it and asks Dame what his problem is and if he is so devoid of empathy that he cares nothing about anyone but himself. Damian pretends to not know what Jack is talking about, and Jack ends up yelling at him in frustration that the next time Damian complains that not many people hang out with him, Jack will remind him of this. This causes the teacher to yell at them so now all three bois are unhappy. Jack however continues to comfort Zill, promising that Kayla will forgive him. Also, in this version, Zill is in the middle so Jack and Dame can be doing a wierd version of Angel on one shoulder, devil on the other.

Cut to fencing class. Kayla is clearly still upset and takes it out on people through fencing, but it isn't just because of the anniversary. Kayla wonders to herself if Zill had found someone better than her to replace her with.

You've all probably noticed that I've been bringing up Zill's past as a ladies man a lot. Since we've already learned in this version about it in the previous chapter, why not do something with it? Have it be something shady Zill regrets doing, but also something that bothers Kayla since it makes her fear that one day he'll find a girl better than her and go back to his old ways.

After class, Zill desperately tries to win back Kayla, but to no avail. Suddenly, everyone's favorite windy bird shows up. Horris demands a duel, but Zill tells him that he doesn't have time and that even if he beat him, no one would bow down and worship some crazy nutcase. Horris, however, persists in his demand and eventually, Zill snaps. Unfortunately, their fighting attracts the attention of Vagenza and Simon.

Meanwhile, Carrie and Cameron are walking outside, discussing some of the acts in the try outs, but are interrupted when Cameron looks up and freezes. Carrie asks what's wrong, but Cam faints. Looking up herself, while we don't see what's up there, Carrie does and picks up Cam and runs off to yell at the students to hide and to warn Zechariah.

Zill is to preoccupied with Horris to realize what's going on. It's only when Horris yelps and hides behind him that Zill looks up and he (and us, the audience ) see Vagenza standing (....flying? ) right in front of them.

Zill panics and zips towards the school to hide, only for Simon to pounce on him and hold him down. He also bites Zill on the arm. Vagenza is about to finish him off when da-duh-duh-DAAAA, it's Super Kayla to the rescue. Using her sword from fencing, she pokes Simon in the nose and distracts Vagenza. After Simon gets off him, Zill hurls a fire ball at Vagenza to keep her off of Kayla. Vagenza is about to attack, but is ambushed by Carrie, who ties her up. Fabian pounces on and holds down Simon. Vagenza manages to elbow Carrie in the face and escape. Simon almost ends up following his mistress to freedom, only for Zechariah to block his path, punch him, and knock him out.

Zech tells Kayla and Zill that the teachers have this under control, and that Kayla should get Zill to the nurse's office. While helping him up, Zill has this "you saved me" moment while Kayla says something along the lines of "well no shit Sherlock. You think I'd let someone kill you?" They stare at each other for a bit, and kiss, making up.

Some of the other students are emerging from hiding. Jack stumbles out of a locker, muttering "the fuck is it with me and lockers?" He looks for Dame, thinking "Oh shit, where's my bratty baby cousin, he was right beside me, this is not a good." Only for Damian to fall out of a trash can because he is secretly trash. They both see Kayla and Zill, and Jack turns triumphantly towards Damian like "haha! Your evil plan failed! " Damian looks disappointed for a moment, but, as usual, recovers quickly. He stands up and just casually says "gee, those two should get a room."

Jack is astonished that Dame can just act like nothing happened after everything. Damian walks off, and the chapter ends with a shocked and angry Jack staring after him.

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Sorry for the delay on this one. This took a while to write. Can you tell I typed some of this in the middle of the night? XD

Be sure to tell me what you guys think. Is there anything here in particular that you liked? Was any joke I made remotely funny? Or what did you not like or think I should add? Let me know your thoughts. Really, I appreciate it!

Thanks for reading.

....

Also, remember how I said to keep your pants on until I posted this and how once I did, we could all collectively rip our pants off?

Welp, y'all know what time it is!

1- wait, do shorts count as pants?

#zoophobia #zoophobia rewrite

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iamartemisday · 7 years

Text

To all fans of Lokiday

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few months, weighing the pros and cons and wondering how you would all feel about this. It was a difficult decision to come to, but I think now is the right time to do a full rewrite of Lokiday.

Below is the new first chapter as I have redone it. You may notice some significant differences between the original and the new version. I would like to know your opinion either in a reblog or an ask.

I understand some of you might not like these changes, but I think if you keep an open mind, you will see why I concluded that it was in the story’s best interest to improve on it in this way.

Thank you, and I hope you all enjoy the brand new Lokiday:

Day 65: Jane Foster

Jane gets a paper cut.

She pauses turning the page of her magazine, and brings her index finger level with her eyes. A neat trail of red blood slides down the pad. She presses her thumb against it.

The wound stings.

She presses harder.

As Shakespeare once said, there's no better start to a story than masochism.

Okay, he probably didn't say that. Would've been fitting if he did, though. Did you guys know he once had a character off herself by swallowing fire? That's almost as cool as when I ran that guy over with the Zamboni.

In case that obvious film reference didn't give it away, this is Deadpool! Here to offer my insightful and witty remarks about this lovely fanfic that is still incomplete despite having begun in 2012. Because what kind of lazy ass bitch does that?

Anyway, lso, as I'm sure you've already figured out, this is an April Fool's joke and she's not actually going to rewrite this fic. Just wanted to clear that up in case some of you are nerds who totally fell for it.

If so, hahahaha! You're the butt of the joke. Ha.

When she's done, her fingers stick together, and she meets slight resistance separating them. Her thumb is stained with blood. She flexes the joints experimentally, lips puckered. Jane kisses the air and sucks in a breath. Then, she's on her feet and off the tall lab chair.

Suspense! I love suspense. I need some popcorn. And a chimichanga.

(OBLIGATORY CHIMICHANGA REFERENCE QUOTA: FILLED)

All around her are half finished equations and equipment strewn around haphazardly. The walls are covered in pictures of various constellations she learned about in elementary school. Those not on the wall stick to her shoes when she steps on them. She hasn't cleaned up her lab in a long time. There's no point in trying anymore.

She reaches the sink and runs cool water over her entire hand. She entertains the idea of rubbing soap into the wound. That would hurt like hell.

Oh yeah baby, you do that. Ooooh yeeeeah! You dirty girl.

Jane doesn't do this, but she does marvel at how far gone she already is for the millionth time in what feels like days.

Feels like, because it really should have been days.

It's not, though.

It's just one.

Just one, single, solitary day that's gone by.

Mmphf! Mmphf! Mmphf-mmphf mmpfh.

TRANSLATION: That's some damn good popcorn. Tastes like chicken if chicken was popcorn.

(OBLIGATORY OBSCURE REFERENCE NO ONE WILL GET QUOTA: FILLED)

Mmphf!

TRANSLATION: I'm on a roll!

Jane snorts and walks back to her seat. She swipes the magazine off the table, throwing it at the opposite wall. She doesn't care, she can't read the damn thing anyway.

SHIELD had been so accommodating when sending her off into thinly veiled hiding. They set her up with colleagues that spoke fluent English, and were fairly close to her in age so they'd have plenty to talk about. Her bed had nicer linens than a five star hotel, and the equipment she'd been given to work with had reduced her to an excited child at Disneyland the first time she saw it.

And yet they still couldn't get her one measly magazine in English. How typical.

That reminds me of this one time when I was hunting down this guy in one of those back alley dive bars, and I caught him, and I was like 'Where the fuck is Francis?' And he was like, 'something something not English but probably in the area of please don't kill me Deadpool something.' So I was a bit perturbed and then he tried to run away. I was like, 'fuck no, compadre!' And then I shot him in the dick. Like right in the dick. Wasn't even on purpose. Just a lucky shot I guess.

So yeah, kindred spirits me and Jane right here.

The useless ream of paper hits the floor with a satisfying 'flop', and then Jane feels an icy chill run through her. She shivers, more at the temperature drop than low, ominous chuckle that follows.

Oh oh! I know! I know exactly who it is!

It's Hawkeye!

"That's not polite."

Jane closes her eyes. She doesn't want to look in that mirror on the opposite wall and have to stare at his smarmy face right now. Maybe if she keeps quiet, he'll go away and never come back. Or maybe he'll just talk more.

Wait no, not Hawkeye. No one would ever not be happy to see him. Have you seen his biceps? So dreamy…

"Someone's going to have to pick it up."

"No one comes in here but me," she says. "Even if they did, what do I care?"

Yeah, Loki, what do you take her for? A neat freak? She's a scientist. Scientists and neat freaks go together like fish and cheese. Like Al and workable eyeballs. Like Francis and life.

He tsks. If Jane were two feet taller and a million times stronger, she'd punch his face all the way in and then maybe rip his tongue out for good measure. Let's see him tsk at her then!

Fuck me, that's hot! Hey, what if we made a few tweaks to this story? Like making it a Deadpool/Jane fic? I'm down with that!

Just need to think of a ship name…

"Now, now, Jane Foster, you don't wear apathy well."

I can think of something better for her to wear! It starts with an 'L' and rhymes with 'schmeather bustier!'

She turns around. She was going to eventually, so she might as well get it over with. His bright green eyes stare down at her, a small smile gracing his features. His stance is calm, collected and arrogant. In short, everything Jane expected of him.

Loki was a lot of things, but never a disappointment. Not to her.

Eat your heart out, Ironman! No performance issues here as confirmed by a reliable source!

Now fully facing him, Jane notices he's in full battle garb. He even has that crazy helmet on. Maybe he's going to fight again, or maybe he's got another trick for her up his sleeve. She'd put neither above him. At least now she has a comeback.

"And you don't wear those antlers well, but it's never stopped you."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!

Burn.

His smile vanishes, and Jane smirks, feeling accomplished. Full blown laughter builds, but she doesn't let it out yet. He exhales through his nose, fingers curling into a ball. A long time ago, this used to terrify her. Now, she just wants to laugh harder.

So what about GunScience? That a good ship name.

Hmm… seems a little plain to me. I'll keep working on it. Back to the story!

She doesn't feel like alienating him further, though, not this time. He hasn't been around for three 'days' and she doesn't care to be apart from him. That just means she has to face the fact that she actually wants him around. It's a feeling equivalent to getting repeatedly kicked in the gut and winded.

Pfft, I could handle him. If you saw what I did to that doucherocket Smith, you'd know.

Hint: It involved narrow appendages being forced in places narrow appendages should not be forced in.

With that in mind, let's make Deadpool/Loki a thing too! Much easier to come up with a ship name.

I give you… FrostMerc! Huh? Huh?

…

Well fine, be that way. I'm not sharing any of my popcorn with you guys now.

Jane moves away from him, walking briskly to the mini-refrigerator in the corner where her endless supply of bottled water is kept. She pulls out two, opens one and tosses the other over her shoulder. She knows he'll catch it.

"So," she says conversationally, as if this super powered mythical figure and potential world conqueror who once almost destroyed her hometown was just another girlfriend of hers. "What's on the agenda for today? You're all dressed up and ready to go. You must have something big planned."

He doesn't answer.

"Gonna cause some destruction?"

He still doesn't answer.

"You know, burn down all the buildings, slaughter all the innocents, kick all the puppies, anything?"

Nothing.

He's still mad that he got burnt to a crisp with that antler's comment.

He got destroyed. Pulverized. Demolished beyond all recognition. The metaphorical narrow appendage is all the way up his-

And now Jane is getting fed up, not to mention confused (definitely not concerned). He's usually way more talkative than this.

Didn't they sew his mouth shut in one of the myths? I think they totally did that once. What a disgusting, reprehensible, unforgivable thing to fucking sew a man's fucking mouth shut.

Amirite? *cough*FuckyouFoxneverforget*cough*

She faces him. His eyes are on her, but his mind is elsewhere. He sees something Jane cannot, something invisible and directly in front of her from the looks of it. She really hates when he gets like that, when he closes off completely and never explains himself. He seems to go back and forth between treating Jane like a person, and like she's just a bug he can squash under his foot. Jane's not exactly in the mood for that today.

When they're still in mid-character development and not sure if they want to be a douchey Not-British Brit, or a dude from that Jane Austen book Not-British Brit.

Just fanfic things.

"Don't tell me you're doing this for me," she says mockingly. If there's one way to get to Loki… "Because I'll be honest with you, you look much better without that helmet on. It's very unflattering."

Oh. My. God. Becky. Like that girl in her plaid and jeans knows anything about fashion.

She blinks her eyes, and he's right in front of her. Jane stares at his armored chest nonchalantly. She wonders when he'll realize the novelty of that trick wore off 'days' ago.

"Do not test me," he growls.

Wait, I got it! AssassinScientist!

…nah, too long. People would just abbreviate it or some shit. I’m not here for that.

Jane tries to ignore the speeding up of her heartbeat and the building heat in her stomach. Of course he has to use that voice when threatening her. Of course he knows exactly what that husky tone of his does to her every single time. And, of course, this whole miserable situation has turned her into a borderline suicidal masochist who just has to keep pushing him.

Accept it, Jane. Accept… and ye shall be free!

And living the dream of millions of fangirls. That too.

"Just admit that you're as bored as I am," she says. "You probably thought about going after your brother and the Avengers today, but then you realized there's no point. There's no point in anything unless we can find a way out of this."

His frown deepens with every word out of her mouth. His eyebrows knit together in a scowl, and his hands ball into fists. Jane could swear his eyes flash red for a second. It excites her about as much as it used to terrify her, and that's a whole other batch of implications she absolutely must avoid dwelling on. She kind of needs what little sanity she has left, thank you very much.

Sanity? Girl, take it from an expert. Sanity is overrated.

Why, if I was sane, I wouldn't be the ultra hot star of the highest grossing R rated film of all time, now would I?

I didn’t think so.

Jane's already seen his Jotunn form twice, which is two more times than Loki would have liked. He still won't explain why he hates his heritage so much. Jane's asked him more times than she can count, and all she gets is silence, or commands to be silent, or screaming and cursing before he disappears to God only knows where for several 'days' at a time. The most she's ever gotten out of him is that the Frost Giants are savage monsters who would rip the flesh from her bones if she gets too close.

They sound fluffy!

She doesn't really get it. He's not all that scary with blue skin and red eyes and no other noticeable changes in appearance. Hell, the blue people in Avatar were creepier looking. If Jane were to fear Loki for anything, it would be the fact that he's a psychotic mass murderer bent on world domination who could tear her head off with his bare hands if he wanted to. That knowledge, like so many other things, had lost its edge a long time ago. Even when he bares down on her like this, so much bigger than her, eyes speaking of dark intent, Jane can't bring herself to fear him.

Yeah, CGI Smurf mutants really start to lose their effect in the face of all that.

Then again, that might be why they keep making those stupid Smurf movies. You see what desensitization does to you? Now studio hacks think people want more of those despicable balls of malformed play-doh on our screens. This is a national crisis! Wake up America!

(PLEASE NOTE: Neither Deadpool nor the author has ever seen a Smurf movie.)

Hey hey! Don't give it away!

She could still fear what emotions he did bring out in her, though.

"You should watch your tongue around me, Mortal," he says with that voice again. Why always that voice? "You might not like the consequences if you don't."

The underlying threat is palpable. There are so many different ways he could carry it out, too. Jane won't pretend not to know what they are. They spill incoherently into her mind all at once. She knows who Loki is and what he is and what he can do. He's been nothing if not eager to show her in the previous 'days.'

I smell a sex scene!

Jane smiles innocently, he hates that. She runs a hand across his shoulder and down his chest, he likes that.

Must get more popcorn.

She pulls herself closer to him, their faces inches apart. She supports her body with one hand on the table. It doesn't slide away from her as it should. Trust Loki to prepare for this. She doesn't see them leaving this room anytime soon.

Mmphf!

(Translation: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, and summer's lease hath all too short a date…)

"Really?" She blows in his ear. He loves that. "Because I think you're all talk."

Happy Groundhog Day!

He seizes her by the arms, pulls her down roughly, and then his lips are on hers, hard and unforgiving. A moan is caught in Jane's throat, she doubts he'll relinquish her mouth long enough for her to let it out. His large hands are everywhere at once. One minute, he's fondling her breast through her shirt, the next he's running them up and down her legs, coming so close to her core that Jane feels she'll come apart at the seams if he doesn't touch her soon.

He does know how to tease.

Hey, ladies out there. You know what I like? What I really really like? *wiggles eyebrows*

Puppies! Puppies are adorable, aren't they?

His tongue forces it's way in. There is no fight for dominance this time, because it's clear who is in control and that he intends to keep it that way. Jane's own hands move across the metal of his armor. That damnable armor he just had to wear today. His casual (in the loosest possible sense) clothes are much easier to remove. He usually steps in with that fancy magic of his pretty quickly. In fact, he should have by now. Is this what he meant by 'consequences?'

Loki snakes an arm around her thin waist, hoisting her up and on the table. As soon as Jane's back makes contact, she is hit by a blast of ice cold from below. It doesn't take a scientist to figure out that somewhere in the millisecond it took him to do all this, he also magicked her clothes off. Jane rolls her eyes and thinks of commenting on this, but then his tongue is in her mouth and coherent thought is but a distant dream.

Kittens are also cute. With their little paws and their ears and the traces of demonic evil lurking below the surface.

He gets up on top of her, never once breaking the kiss. She brings her hands up to his warming face and runs her fingers through his thick hair, down the back of his neck, to the collar of his undershirt and dammit all, why is he still dressed?

He smirks against her lips.

"Frustrated, my dear?"

But you know, bunnies have got to top them all in cuteness factor. I cried for days the first time I saw Fatal Attraction.

Jane wants to slap him so badly right now. Instead, she kisses him harder. He groans in response and raises her up a little so her chest is arched into his. He wrenches his lips away and Jane cries out in protest. She stops complaining when he moves down to her neck, and then her breast. As his tongue swirls around her nipple, Jane struggles to come back to herself.

Have I killed the mood yet?

(Yeah, probably)

Awesome! My work here is done! Farewell, my friends- Wait, what? What do you mean the chapter's not over yet?

There is a digital clock on the wall marking the time as ten after four in the afternoon. This gives them plenty of time to go about their routine. To make stiff conversation, to try once again to find out what's happened to them and how to stop it, to descend into yet another pointless argument about nothing, to threaten and be threatened with death and injury and a bunch of other nasty things, to fuck each other senseless in bed and on tables and on the floor and in the shower and against the wall and on top of the bathroom sink and in the mess room and in her direct superior's office (boy, was that ever memorable).

Then the next 'day' comes along and, like everything else around them, the cycle repeats anew.

No changes.

Okay this time, I know I've got it! Assassin didn't work, scientist didn't work, but you know what does work?

Deadpane!

Get it? Because it sounds like deadpain, and when I'm out there killing all the monsters and murderers and Francis's of the world, I know I haven't done my job right if there isn't lots of pain!

So now that this hypothetical Me/Jane ship has a proper name, let's get back to the story!

*cough*seriouslythoughshippersgetonthat*cough**cough* Boy, do I have a nasty case of the sniffles today!

Jane sometimes wonders what her friends and family would think if they could see her now, naked with her legs spread underneath a psychopathic Norse God.

They'd be like, fuck yeah, you lucky bitch! Score!

Least I would. Have you seen that tight Hiddleass of Loki's? Almost as nice as Wolverine's.

Like Logan gets a 97 out of 100 while Loki is easily a 96.8.

Her mother wouldn't like it.

Erik wouldn't like it.

Darcy… would congratulate her on getting laid.

See? Someone gets it.

Jane can't help giggling. Loki, who has been trailing open mouthed kisses up her neck, bites down hard and makes her gasp. She fists his hair as he licks a hot line back up to her mouth. He re-claims it, pulling her head up slightly with one hand while the other continues to travel.

Her arms are around his waist, and he is still fully dressed.

Bastard.

Yeah, bastard. Strip already!

His lips are relentless, his tongue even more so. She feels deft fingers between her legs, and shamelessly moans into his mouth when they stroke her. She writhes beneath him, knowing that's exactly what he wants.

Loki always gets what he wants from her.

After sixty five days of working for it, you would hope.

'Remember Jane,' she tells herself when he strokes her again, and then finally, with a wave of his hand, is as naked as she is. 'Three benefits to dealing with Loki Laufeyson. Remember them!'

I can think of way more than just three, but we only have half a page left.

Benefit number 1: He is, so far, the only other person in the world who knows what's going on.

Except for the reader. Times like this fourth wall breaking would come in handy. Why is it so out of style among fictional characters? I don't understand the world.

She feels the muscles in his back, lean, but rock solid. He's shifted positions, so that his erection is pressed firmly against her.

Benefit number 2: As the only other person who knows what's going on, and as a powerful sorcerer with a genius level intellect, he's also the only other person in the world who can help find a way out of this.

It's funny because when this was written, I'm pretty sure not even the writer knew a way out, didja?

(Fuck off, Deadpool)

Hey now, this was your idea for me to do this.

He removes his lips from hers again, and Jane immediately attacks his neck, returning the favor with a bite of her own. Loki growls in response, and Jane knows he's going to make her pay for that.

She looks forward to it.

Benefit number 3…

*leans forward in anticipation of incredible revelation*

He steadies her hips with his hand, and uses magic to keep the rest of her restrained. Jane finds she can still work her mouth, though, when he thrusts into her and the friction and sheer pleasure of it all makes her scream.

…He's spectacular in bed.

Six out of ten at best. I am not speaking from experience, it's merely because I am obliged to count myself, and I am an outlier whose sexual prowess would make Zeus feel like an awkward virgin.

Sorry, that's just a fact. I don't make the rules.

And with that, I have completed this little venture of mine. Stay tuned next April Fool's Day, when I review the last chapter of Lokiday!

…HA! April Fool's! We all know Artemis is never going to finish anythi-mmm mm. Mmm?! MMMM! MMMMMM!

(And then Deadpool could no longer speak because he suddenly transformed into the first movie version who got his mouth sewn shut!)

MMMMMMMMMMMM!

(Happy April Fool's Day!)

#Lokane #Loki #Jane Foster #Lokiday #fic rewrite

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artificialqueens · 7 years

Text

Not Afraid Anymore Ch.2 (Pearlet) - Columbia

They sat there for what seemed like forever, but it only amounted to a few hours. The two girls had moved so that they were laying down in the middle of the ramp, with Pearls backpack behind their heads. The sun was beginning to set, turning the sky a deep lavender colour with ribbons of orange seeping into it. It was a beautiful scene and anyone who were to walk past, would be lucky to have witnessed it.

They’d spent the afternoon talking about their lives, past and present, and getting to know everything about each other. Violet felt like she was almost reminiscing with an old friend, with the excitement of meeting a new person. It was perfect. “So yeah, it’s been just me and my mom for 3 years,” Pearl said turning her head to meet with Violets eyes. They stared into each other’s eyes for a brief moment, although it felt like the minutes were going by too fast. “Your mom sounds cool,” Violet said finally quietly. Pearl chuckled and shook her head before looking back up at the sky. “The only thing cool about her is the fact she trusts me to have the house to myself for weeks on end,” Violet sat up, not knowing how to continue the conversation and changed the subject. She turned to Pearl who was now leaning on her elbows and looking up at her with her brows furrowed, startled by the other girls sudden movement. “hey what the time,” Violet said.

“Just turned 4, why?” Pearl replied clicking her phone off. Violets eyes widened and she scrambled for her bag, standing up quickly, looking for her phone. “Shit,” she mumbled under her breathe seeing 3 missed calls from her dad. “Hey what’s wrong?” Pearl asked, noticing the sudden worry on the others face. Violet simply shook her head, eyes still fixed on her phone. “I’ll be right back I just need to call someone,” She said walking towards a tree in the distance, talking into the phone after a moment. Pearl stayed there and picked up her bag and jacket patiently waiting for the other to return.

After about 5 minutes, Pearl saw Violet strolling back, with a sour expression on her face. “Sorry about that, I forgot to let my dad know I wasn’t coming home straight away and now he’s pissed” She said shaking her head slightly. “I just don’t wanna have to face him tonight you know?” Violet looked up at her locking their eyes again. Pearl noticed the familiar feeling remembering all the times her rare moments of pure happiness would be subdued by her mother constantly scorning her for doing something even mildly rebellious. Obviously, it had gotten better once she’d gotten a new job because she was never there half the time, giving the both of them a break.

“You can come back to mine if you want,” Pearl suggested hesitantly, wondering whether or not she should get involved in whatever issues Violet was having with her father. When Violet’s eyes lit up from the suggestion, she took this as a signal to continue her thoughts. “Of course I don’t want you to get into even more trouble, and I know that if I was in your position, the last thing I’d want to do is make it worse… not that this would make it worse but-,”

“Thank you, Pearl,” Violet said cutting her off and giving her a hug. Pearl was taken aback by the sudden affection and wasn’t sure how to respond. She wrapped her arms around the other girls, impossibly small waist and let out long breathe she didn’t realise she was holding. They pulled away and started walking towards Violets car.

They were halfway to Pearl’s house when Violet said “I think I’m gonna go back home, its already getting kind of dark and my dad’s not gonna be happy if I stay out any longer without an explanation,”. Pearl nodded, keeping her head down in an attempt to hide her disappointment. She didn’t know what it was but she felt the urge to try and impress Violet, which was an absurd feeling to have considering they had known each other a total sum of 9 and a half hours, but there was something so compelling about her that Pearl couldn’t quite figure out.

Once they had reached her house, Pearl turned to open the door, when Violet grabbed her hand. “Wait, give me your phone!” She demanded as if it was expected. Pearl did as she said knowing exactly what she was doing or at least hoping she was putting her number in. “There” Violet said handing her back the phone “Now you can talk to me about this Kurtis guy without getting embarrassed,” She said with a wink, then turned to go back to the car. Pearl shook her head; a light laugh erupting from her as she actually considered it. She turned to open her door as she heard Violet get into her car. She turned back around to wave her off and saw the brunette wave back with a fond smile before driving off.

Once she was in her house, the echoing silence began to settle in. I guess it’s just me then she thought to herself. Dropping her belongings, she went into the kitchen to make herself dinner; she wasn’t exactly a culinary genius but she could fix something up just for her. Her phone buzzed against the marble counter top, making her jump as she was carrying her plate to the dining table and leading her to almost drop it… almost. She sat down and looked at her phone.

From: Violet 💜

Thank you for today, I thought it would take longer than 3 hours to make a friend. Btw check your jacket pocket ;) xx

Pearl smiled down at her phone, furrowing her brows slightly in confusion. She put her fork down and walked back into the hallway where she’d left her jacket lazily discarded across the floor. When she reached into her pocket she felt a what appeared to be a scrunched-up piece of paper. When she opened it she saw the message Kurtis had written and left in her locker earlier in the day. She still wasn’t totally convinced that his intentions were genuine, but there was a sparkle in her that was almost desperate for that perfect idea of young love. From the stories her parents and even grandparents had shared with her, every word sculpting prince charming. Tales of stolen kisses behind the Ferris wheel in 1954, and sneaking out at midnight to watch the stars pass in 84 through to 92. Pearl was trapped in the nostalgic paradise she craved for herself. She contemplated texting Kurtis but didn’t know where to start; surely it would be hello but what comes after that? She made her way back to the dining room, the note still in her hand, and went back to her dinner although there was something more interesting than food to distract her.

To: Violet💜

I hate you

It was later in the night, almost 9:00, and Pearl was laying atop her bed staring at her phone in frustration. Writing and rewriting the same message but never having the courage to hit send. She eventually gave up realising she wasn’t going to do this on her own. After texting Trixie asking for her advice as she had the most experience with boys out of everyone Pearl knew, and Katya even though she wasn’t expecting much of an answer (and she wasn’t disappointed when Katya eventually replied with an apology and a link to a video of cats being scared by cucumbers), Pearl hesitated asking Violet before deciding against it not wanting to bombard her new friend with her problems out of the blue. Instead of continuing to let worry gnaw at her, she decided to write her excuse note as to why she wasn’t in for half of the day.

Before she could get comfortable at her desk, she heard vicious knocks from her front door. Almost falling down the stairs after being startled several times by continuous knocking, she made her way to the door only to find a rather flustered looking Violet standing there before her with a fist in the air. “Umm… hi?” Pearl said nonchalantly, in confusion as to why the girl was there. “Hey, I’m sorry this is unexpected but I didn’t know where else to go… I.. I had nowhere else to go.. I just..” he began to say before slowly looking down as she began to cry.

“Hey no, shhh, its fine,” Pearl said pulling the other girl into a tight hug, to which she reciprocated quickly. They stood in the doorway for a while, waiting for her to calm down a bit. They pulled apart enough for them to look at each other. “Do you wanna come in? Maybe tell me what’s up?” Pearl suggested in her usual casual tone, but this time it felt sincerer; it had meaning and intension behind it now. Violet simply nods and follows the blonde into the house, grasping her hand.

They make their way to the kitchen and Violet eventually let go of her hand with much hesitation, as Pearl went and poured her a glass of water. She made her way over to meet with Violet as they sat at the table. “So,” She said, “You wanna tell me what’s made you upset enough to ruin your makeup?” Violets eyes widened before she quickly tried to wipe away the slight streaks of grey that had cascaded down her cheeks. Pearl slowly moved Violets hand away from her face as their eyes met again. Pearl quickly looked down at their hands before standing up, gesturing for Violet to join her. “Come on, you can tell me whilst you clean up.” She said and led her upstairs to the bathroom.

Violet patiently sat on the sink counter whilst Pearl retrieved some makeup wipes from her room. She came back a stood in front of Violet, her thighs gently grazing the other girls knees. She began to wipe away her makeup, but still invited her friend to speak. “Spill,” She mumbled quietly, barely audible if it wasn’t for their closeness. Violet simply sighed and stared at the girls face, almost transfixed on the girl before her, before speaking. “I’ve never seen him like that before you know?”

“Your dad?” Pearl asked, concentration prioritised on unmasking Violet, who nodded in response.

“I mean now I can see why my mom left him but…” she bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering but that didn’t hinder the tears that were threatening to spill. “But I just wasn’t expecting to see it so soon, I mean I’ve only been here for less than a fortnight,” She locked eyes with Pearl again, eyes melting with disappointment and sadness.

Pearl quickly wrapped her arms around the girls neck, not knowing any other way to comfort her. She felt Violet snake her arms around the other girls waist and bury her head in her neck as she began to cry.

Once Violet had calmed down and explained her father’s aggressive outbursts and the history between her mother and father, her and Pearl both returned downstairs. “hey, umm you don’t have to let me just because I had a meltdown on your doorstep, but if it’s okay do you think I could stay here tonight?” Violet spoke up expecting rejected but was surprised when pearl simply shrugged and said “Sure,” before making her way into the kitchen. “But wait,” Violet began, “It’s that easy? What about your mom?” She asked trying to hide her excitement. Despite being a rather forward person she wasn’t easily befriended, but it was different with Pearl. She felt like she could trust her; whether it was her serene demeanour or the glint of purity in her eyes that made Violet want to stare into them forever. Whatever it was, she was glad that Pearl was walking down the street this morning and not anyone else.

“I mean what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her,” Pearl said, turning her head and winking at Violet. “Anyway, if we’re having a sleepover, we’re gonna do this properly,” She continued leading Violet into even more confusion.

The two girls were soon sitting on the kitchen floor with a tub of ice cream between them, Pearl filling her in on all the gossip from school, or at least the stories she knew. “I mean it’s not like I even know everyone in the school, I just know who to avoid and who not to avoid,” She said placing the spoon in her mouth and slowly licking the ice cream off. “Do you have any friends?” Violet asked laughing, inviting a playful slap on her arm from the other girl. “I’m just kidding, I saw you with that other girl, what’s her name?”

“Trixie,” Pearl said, “Or maybe it was Katya… Question: what was she wearing?”

“An abundance of pink that probably should be illegal because no human could possibly pull it off-,”

“But she does right?!” Pearl cut in with much more enthusiasm that Violet expected, making her giggle.

“Yes,” she said eventually, “Yes she does,”

“Okay that was Trixie, if you see another blonde girl who looks like she been dragged through a bush backwards, but somehow it looks good, that’s Katya,” she continued placing her spoon back into the tub and sitting back leaning against the cupboard behind her. “Now I don’t know about you but if I eat anymore ice cream and laugh at the same time, I’ll either throw up or it’ll come out of my nose!” She said standing up with the practically empty tub in her hands, after Violet had placed her spoon in there too. “No you’re right, we should probably get changed anyway, it’s like 11:30 and we have school tomorrow,” Pearl groaned at the thought but obliged anyway.

Pearl offered to get changed in the bathroom, to give the brunette some privacy, pointing to her room at the end of the hall. When she entered, she immediately felt welcomed; the lights were dimmed and a comfortable smell of vanilla and lavender filled the air. Violet looked around the room, it was full of things that were fundamentally ‘Pearl’. Her bed was placed underneath her window, with fairy lights draped around, and above that was a beautiful tapestry draped over the wall above, swirling with turquoises and lilacs. Her other walls were decorated with various pictures of her and people that Violet did not know yet but hoped to soon, along with what looked like sketches. Her desk was scattered with an abundance of pencils and opened sketchbooks, revealing unfinished work, some that may never be complete Violet thought to herself. She always loved seeing peoples bedrooms, it always made her see a different and more personal side to a person.

She began to get changed into the clothes Pearl had provided her; an oversized t-shirt with a band called ‘Pulp,’ whom Violet had never even heard of. She was in just her panties and bra when she was disrupted by Pearl barging into the room without warning. If anything the noise made her jump more than the fact her chest was exposed to someone who was a stranger 24 hours ago. Pearl’s eyes widened before she looked down, embarrassed. “Oh, umm… sorry, I should’ve knocked,” She said still in the door way fidgeting uncomfortably. “Its fine, honestly I don’t mind, I’m not embarrassed,” Violet said, although the blush that was rising in her cheeks suggested otherwise. She never normally was self-conscious if someone were looking at her body, in fact she took pride in it.

She quickly threw the shirt over her head, to save Pearl and apparently herself from further awkwardness, and gathered up her clothes from the floor when she noticed Pearl still wasn’t looking at her. “You can look now,” She said giggling to herself. Pearl looked at her quickly to check if she was covered, which she was and sighed letting out a laugh. “umm,” She said not really sure what to say.

“It’s okay, you know?” Violet said moving closer to her, before connecting their eyes again after they’d been separated for a considerably long time. “I don’t mind you looking,” She said quietly, unsure of what the other girls reaction would be. Pearl’s breathe was visibly quickening as Violet got closer and closer. She didn’t know what she was doing but all Pearl knew was that she didn’t want to do anything to stop it. They were inches apart when Violet cracked, letting out a loud laugh indicating that much to Pearl’s relief and disappointment, she was joking around with her friend. Pearl eventually laughed along with her. “Come on, let’s get some sleep,” She said dragging the other girl to the bed.

#au #pearlet #columbia #not afraid anymore #cisgirl au #violet chachki #pearl liaison #rpdr fanfiction #lesbian au #high school au

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hawkingbishop · 7 years

Text

It took me over two hours and constantly drifting off while writing and having to reread the same section a hundred times before I understood it, but I finally copied over the snippet of my TULOMB rewrite into a Word document! Five and a half pages, single spaced.

PS. I’m changing a lot in this draft. For one, you see she’s Persephone now instead of Rebecca. It just didn’t seem right to have the same name. So, she’s Persephone Alexandra Rhodes. She’s a light skinned black girl. She has a darker skinned younger brother.

Marilynn is essentially the same as before, though she’s now a trans girl.

________________________

Persephone found herself staring at Marilynn as she went up to grab their coffee order. She was wearing her curly ginger hair down, with a light blue cardigan covering a pink-blue-and-white striped shirt, a flowy light blue skirt with a white belt, pink tights, and black combat boots.

Persephone was wearing a simple outfit of a jean jacket covered in band pins/patches, over a red flannel, black leggings, and an identical pair of black combat boots.

She had a smile on as she watched her best friend-slash-crush. Persephone’s bright red lips nearly took up her entire tawny face. She brushed her wavy, russet hair out of her eyes. Her smile soon turned to a small frown, as she knew she could never act on her feelings, or else she might lose her friendship. Plus, it’s not like anything would happen anyway, since Marilynn’s straight…

As Persephone was in her little reverie, Marilynn picked up the order of Lattes and turned toward their table. She saw Persephone’s gloomy face, and her own mouth twitched into a half frown.

“Hey chica, what’cha thinkin’ about?” Marilynn asked while sitting down across from Persephone.

That brought Persephone back to Earth. She slid her drink to herself and said, “…stuff.” And then she drank a long pull while looking away.

“Stuff? Ooh, I like stuff!” exclaimed Marilynn. She then took a sip of her drink while waiting for Persephone to respond. Persephone was trying to think of something clever to say, but instead, answered with “oh, normal stuff that normal people think of, you know…”

“Ooh, I see. But, since when have you been normal?” Marilynn joked, holding back giggles.

Persephone laughed at that, then answered “oh, I’m so not. I’m just trying to see if I could pretend to be for a moment. Y’know, thinking about boys, and how I need to lose weight and look good for them.”

Marilynn chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah, totally normal stuff. How was it?” She took another sip of her drink.

Persephone toyed with her cup, sliding it back and forth between her hands. She smirked and then forced herself to frown, making a big exaggerated show of it. She said, “it was awful. I couldn’t do it for more than a second before I realized that ‘yep, I’m totally gay through and through, no doubts about it!’”

Marilynn was in the process of drinking when she laughed uncontrollably, spitting her drink all over her cup and table.

Persephone laughed harder at that and then got up to get napkins. She returned to the table to see Marilynn trying to wipe her mouth clean with just her dry hand. She gladly took some napkins and began cleaning herself off.

Persephone helped, wiping down the table. As she crumpled the napkins and pushed them to the edge of their table, Persephone asked, “so, you excited for your very first college course? You look great, by the way. You’re gonna turn so many heads today!” She winked.

Marilynn looked down at the table and a small smile crossed her lips. She responded, “thanks. I went through, like, 3 outfits before I settled on this one.” She held up a piece of the cardigan. After she released it and flattened it back down, she said, “and yeah. I actually am excited!”

She then reached into her bag and brought out a Mead Notebook. “I have all these new school supplies and I want to use them. My first class is Creative Writing, and I can’t wait to get going… I wanna work on my stories and poems and write new ones.”

Her smile was so big; it took over her whole fair-skinned face. Her hazel eyes were bright and crinkled at the outer edges. Persephone loved how excited and enthusiastic she was when she talked about her writing. It was infectious. Persephone returned the great smile, her own light brown eyes bright and crinkled to match Marilynn’s.

“Good,” she said, “your writing is amazing as it is, but I bet this class will help you write tons more stuff.” She was sitting on edge of her chair, hands on the table, palms down, fingers spread out. Then she pointed to Marilynn with her right hand. “Your professor is gonna love your work… and you.”

Persephone didn’t think it possible, but Marilynn’s smile got even bigger. Marilynn said softly, “thanks, Seph, that really means a lot.” She reached over and touched Persephone’s left hand. She kept it there for a minute before she brought it back to her cup.

During the hand-touching, Persephone’s smile faded into a smaller, sad one, eventually threatening to turn into a frown. It was hard for her—the contact, the closeness. She knew it was a friendly touch, but she wished it was much more than that. She wished Marilynn had felt like her. But, it’s a lost cause; Marilynn’s not into girls.

Plus, she reminded herself, I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship by bringing up my feelings.

Even if Marilynn felt the same way, Persephone was afraid of the relationship not working out, it might ruin their friendship. They had been best friends practically their whole lives.

Their parents were friends, so they always played together when their parents hung out. They were inseparable. They took baths together, played Barbies and action figures, played Legos. They loved each other.

When they started getting older, around 9 or 10, that’s when things changed… Not so much they’re friendship, but their lives; especially Marilynn’s. That’s when she came out to her parents as trans. She always felt like she was a girl, and was now anxious/afraid of puberty. She DIDN’T want to go through male puberty.

And luckily her parents listened to her and wanted her to be happy. It definitely wasn’t easy for them to take at first, but they tried to not let it show. They were always supportive, and after much thought and talking with Marilynn and therapists, they realized they had to let her transition. She had always been kind of feminine, playing with Barbies and dolls, always playing as a girl…

So, much to Marilynn’s delight and relief, she was able to start puberty blockers and living as her true self, a trans girl named Marilynn.

And all along this time, Persephone was right beside Marilynn. She knew her friend was a girl. She was super supportive and always there for her. If anything, Marilynn’s transition strengthened their friendship. Now Marilynn could be included in all the “girl” things with Persephone. Like playing on the girls’ side in “Boys vs. Girls” games at school, shopping for clothes, doing each others’ hair, having slumber parties with other girls. And everyone in their families was really supportive through the entire process.

Also around this time, Persephone decided to come out, as well. Not as trans, but as gay. Persephone always imagined herself with a wife, never a husband. She had crushes on her favorite actresses and musicians. She knew she was a lesbian, and just like Marilynn’s parents, hers went out of the way to educate themselves and be supportive.

The girls went to a Youth LGBTQ Support Group twice a month and were active in their school’s GSA and other LGBTQ activities. They both grew up being completely out and proud. Sure, they had their bullies and disapproving teachers, or other adults in their lives that disapproved, but the girls and their parents confronted each disrespect and tried to quell it.

Growing up together, going to the same classes, working closely side-by-side in the GSA, Persephone eventually realized she had developed feelings for Marilynn as more than just best friends. She wanted to be girlfriends, and not in the way most straight girls use that term.

Persephone wanted to hold Marilynn’s hand, she wanted to hug her and smell her hair; she wanted to grow old with her. But Marilynn had never spoken up about her own sexuality in regards to girls. She talked about boys and Persephone listened and gave her some advice. Persephone talked about crushing on girls and Marilynn would give her advice, but never let on that she was into girls, herself. She was barely into boys, Persephone noticed. Sometimes she thought her talks on boys were forced heteronormativity. But she never brought up her desires, hopes, or thoughts. She waited for Marilynn to come to her. But she never did…

So, Persephone threw herself more into the friendship. And if that’s all they could ever be, that was okay with her. For the most part. Though when times like these happened, i.e. the hand-touching, it was difficult to remember that she’s fine with just being friends. But, as quickly as her frown appeared, it was replaced with a smile again.

“So, what about you? Are you ready for college?” Marilynn asked.

Persephone answered, “Yeah, I guess. I just hope I like my classes. Hopefully they’re not all boring. Remember Ms. Philipps’ AP Calculus class? Sooo boring. I’m glad I like math and read the book ahead of time, or else I would’ve failed for always falling asleep in class.” She chuckled. Marilynn joined her.

“Oh man, totally. Such a snooze fest. And yeah, I’m glad you read ahead too, so you could tutor me.” Marilynn laughed again.

Persephone turned serious for a minute.

“You think there’s gonna be many out lesbians at college? I know college is supposed to be more open and free and it’s where girls supposedly experiment… But I don’t know what happens at a Community College, it’s probably completely different than on-campus life…” Persephone wondered aloud.

Marilynn shrugged. “I don’t know. We should check out the LGBTQ Club in person and see what’s what. I’m psyched to go and meet new peeps in the community.”

Persephone agreed, “Definitely. After our classes today we should head over and talk to the club, let ‘em know we’re here, we’re queer, and ready to get into gear.”

Marilynn smirked at that and said, “You’re so lame,” and then threw one of the napkins at Persephone.

She caught it and threw it back, saying, “that’s why you love me.”

“No,” Marilynn contested while smoothing out the napkin on the table, “I love you because no one else will.”

“Ouch,” Persephone exclaimed while holding her hand to her chest, “Go straight for the heart why don’t’cha?”

“So,” Marilynn started.

She began ripping up her napkin.

“So?…” Persephone asked after about 30 seconds of silence.

“So, I’m kinda scared to start school. To be in this new place where practically nobody knows me. Should I go stealth? Should I be out and proud? I know we’ll be a part of the LGBTQ Club, but everyone won’t know that. They won’t know me. Should I be upfront about it to people, or stay quiet?”

The napkin was now in about 30 different pieces and she was still ripping.

Persephone donned her frown again and said, “well you know I can’t answer that for you, but I will say—just be you and everybody will love you. So what if you’re trans? If they can’t deal, then they’re not worth your time. So, yeah, maybe just go stealth, but if anyone asks, or you want to tell them, do it. Otherwise just live your normal life.” She shrugged at Marilynn before taking another drink of her Caramel Brulée Latte.

Marilynn crumpled the napkin pieces back together and set the mound aside with the rest. “I guess that makes sense. If they know, they know. If they don’t, oh well.”

“Yeah. Just be you and all the suitors will be fawning over you,” Persephone suggested.

Marilynn gave Persephone a skeptical look, “suitors?” she asked, “Really? What are we, in the fifties or something?”

Persephone blew the napkins over to Marilynn and responded, ”Oh shut up, you.”

“Seph…” Marilynn tried to talk.

“Yeah, Mars?” Persephone asked.

“I’m just worried they’ll all judge me and hate me and think I’m an ‘abomination’.”

Persephone reached her hand out and grabbed Marilynn’s and held it with both hands. “Mars Bar,” she smirked. “you are an amazing woman. Smart kid, beautiful, giving, and did I mention beautiful? Everyone will love you, whether they know you’re trans or not.”

Marilynn put her other hand on top of Persephone’s. She couldn’t make eye contact as she spoke, “Thanks Seph. And ditto. You’re the best friend a girl can have.

Persephone winced internally, but replied, “Damn Skippy. I’m awesome. And, hey, so are you. Never forget that. No matter what anybody says. You. Are. Awesome.” She punctuated the last statement by lifting their hands up and then dropping them back to the table in between each word.

Marilynn’s glowing smile emerged again and she said, “Thanks Seph. Really. I love you…”

She stroked Persephone’s hand as she said that.

“And I love you, Mars. Forever and always,” Persephone responded while internally headdesking.

Marilynn looked into Persephone’s eyes, almost peering into her soul. ”Forever and Always.”

#tulomb #becks writes

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