#i think its mostly a Dont Want Hair In My Eyes choice

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

short hair 13 but in a way that makes it clear shes doing this manually. regenerates with longer hair, wakes up on the sinclairs sofa and after nuking ryans phone goes "come on lets catch an alien! no hang on" and then shes like "grace do you have scissors" "yeah here but wh-" already has choppily cut off half her hair

at the end at the funeral it looks like someone (we dont know who) (it was yaz) tried to tidy it up a bit to make her look presentable. then it's short for the rest of s11 and s12 until revolution where it's like past her shoulders. then flux until the end it's short again

#small purposeful timelord gender choices #you can even do different types of short #you can have her have a buzzcut in halloween apocalypse i wouldnt complain #you can even dye it if you want more exact timings #like bright blue one ep faded the next you can tell how long its been approximately #dimitri is this just so you can timekeep the time between seasons/episodes #maybe so! #but mostly its about small purposeful timelord gender choices #though of course whether its a gender choice isthe question #i think its mostly a Dont Want Hair In My Eyes choice #which is more valid than gender anyway #but i do think that like doylistically its a gender choice #so maybe its small purposeful writer gender choices more than timelord gender choices but it woudl reflect......Something #idk

[nastyburger]

Please say more about the awful Asian designs in Danny Phantom. I'm not Asian but I'd love to have a rundown on the elements that make them offensive so I can avoid and critique those elements in other works. And also you deserve to speak your mind about it

im gonna mostly talk about southeast asian designs since thats what i am and the most familiar with and also what i feel are the show's worst transgression with their casual depictions. tw for racist imagery im gonna link pictures.

there's not much to say about the designs aside from, you know, everything but things to note are the unnatural yellow tone for the skin and closed slanted eyes. veggie burger (fan name for the bg character in the middle) also suffers from the huge nose that sometimes shows up in racist depictions. the straight edge/cut hair as well is somewhat stereotypical. this one isn't as bad but in conjunction with everything else its not ideal. i will give the smallest molecule of credit that at the very least dp never gave any of these bg characters buck teeth.

some depictions are better than others, but theres still missteps happening in one aspect or another. kwan's eyes in a lot of shots/episodes can be too skinny and even too slanted, the girl in the middle is almost perfect but her skin is too yellow (she looks kinda okay on my computer screen but i remember when watching dp on my tv she looked real brightly yellow), and principle ishiyama (who was weirdly forgotten about pretty early on in the show and was replaced by lancer doing most of the school stuff despite not being principle?? which is a whole other issue with how dp treats its poc characters) the same usual notes about the slanted eyes but also the upturned nose is pretty reminiscent of racist japanese art during ww2. again it is not the worst way to draw a nose but combined with everything else in this show's depiction of asian characters its not great, they are on thin ice man.

not to mention, principle ishiyama is the only character here with brown eyes. this is a problem that extends to all poc characters in dp and to my knowledge i think ishiyama might be the only one with them tbh. this is, again, a whole other issue though.

i think the thing that bothers me most about these designs though is that dp is very clearly aware that these depictions are bad. the only difference between the first set of characters and the second is one singular thing: they have a clear speaking role.

suddenly when theyre not stock background characters, dp knows how to act when drawing them. i cannot for the life of me find the image of it, but the last jock guy in the first set gets a speaking role in reign storm (he's cosplaying phantom) and he is drawn with proper open eyes! (theyre also blue but whatever) it just makes me sad that this was a clear choice they made.

the show also went in a different direction in the final product, but early development stuff was really drawing from a lot of japanese/asian influences like danny was originally gonna have a motorcycle (pulling from ghost in the shell) and was even referenced in the show via the akira motorcycle reference (which i once again, for the life of me, cannot find. danny took johnny 13's motorcycle and did the classic akira slide i think it was in million dollar ghost?? idk whichever one where the giw are trying to blow up the ghost zone). danny's name was originally gonna be jackie, named after jackie chan, this i assume was given to jack fenton afterwards. and i think the show having a more martial arts direction with the action was also gonna be a thing? that one could be wrong dont quote me on that, there was an episode where danny and vlad have like a weird ninja fight though im pretty sure.

either way my point here is that they wanted to pull from all these influences and it was prominent enough during development that they sprinkle references to it throughout the show and yet their portrayal and treatment of asian characters in the show is so abysmal it just feels Bad™, you know? i cant really put it more eloquently than that, like its very take and no give with it.

it overall just puts a bad taste in my mouth, and its sad that it still affects people years later. like i mentioned in the tags of the post that started this discussion with that whole old trend of putting yourself into the bg of dp screenshots, i felt alienated by that. and its not the people who participated's fault obviously but most of the people i saw participating were white fans (going off of how they drew themselves) and it made me a bit mad that they were able to enjoy the style of the show in a more carefree manner than i ever could. i didnt want to ruin anyone's fun obviously, but a small part of me wanted to bring to light how i wasnt on equal ground with them in that situation.

#seance #considered putting this under a read more but i decided i dont want to give people the choice to just not look at it

[marcmorrigan]

finally delivering on the princess tutu headshots i promised... love these dysfunctional teens 🩰💖💕

LOTS of notes about headcanons/design choices under the cut! like. a lot. dont say i didnt warn you

starting with my specialest guy fakir:

i had a suuuper clear vision for fakir, and i couldnt be happier with how he turned out, he looks exactly how i imagine him! trying to translate his Bird-Shaped Hair into my style gave me SERIOUS homestuck flashbacks. my affinity for knights with Problems knows no bounds...

adding the hyperpigmentation around his eyes and his acne scars is what really solidified this for me-- i put those in and was like oh!!! there you are!!! my boy!!! and you can tell because i gave him acne scars + thick eyebrows that he IS my boy... there are very clear trends among my headcanons for my faves lol. big noses, thick eyebrows, skin imperfections, heavy eyebags, long dark hair... and fakir truly has it all 😤 he is so Ideal Character Design to me

i think fakir is actually pretty self-conscious about his appearance tho! we see characters like pike and lilie say hes handsome to ahiru, but i dont know how often he actually hears that? and im sure its hard not to compare himself to mytho, who is straight out of a fairy tale; being a regular teenager dealing with regular teen body stuff is hard enough without your roommate being a magically beautiful eternally youthful storybook hero. i think he probably internalises more that people see him as scary and angry, and that the girls who do have crushes on him always frame it in contrast to mytho, who is Good and Kind and Handsome, implying (or sometimes outright stating!) that fakir is Bad and Mean and... Well...

fakir is very sensitive but quiet about it, so i think its a very private point of self-consciousness. i think he puts a lot of semi-secret effort into his appearance; canonically he has a lot of very funny and clearly customised clothing, and he chooses to keep his hair long and in a very particular style (i have a whole breakdown in my mind of how he achieves that style and it involves a surprising amount of pins and an unsurprising fuckton of teasing. i think his hair is a little fried from heat damage!), and i think that probably extends to other things, too, like manicuring his eyebrows and doing a lot of very Teenage Skincare that doesnt actually help his acne much lol. i think he probably has a lot of self-injurious habits and BFRBs like skin picking and chewing, mostly at his acne and around his nails (both of which he hates, because he knows he shouldnt but does it anyway). i think if he does it enough that theres noticeable evidence it feels, like, world-ending for him, ESPECIALLY if anyone asks what happened lol. do not perceive him except in the very specific ways and contexts he approves of THANKS

on to the narratives favorite princess, mytho:

again, i had a pretty clear idea of the vibe i wanted mytho to have going into this-- i want him to have, like, extreme prince charming vibes, very Classically Handsome without necessarily being 'conventional.' i thought a lot about 'the happy prince' story while i was working on this, and really wanted him to look like a cross between how the prince statue looks in my head and a porcelain doll. and also a cross between jonny brown and brigitte bardot? lots of very direct influences for him lol. so! lots of gold tones, gemmy eye color, cute little tooth gap, quivering wide-eyed thousand-yard-stare doe eyes and big ol dolly anime lashes, which were the very last thing i added because i was NERVOUS about pulling those off lol. they turned out cute tho! ive only done a handful of pieces for this series and i can already tell princess tutu is gonna make me up my lash drawing game considerably, these kids all look like they blink and cause a hurricane from the gale force wind of their falsies

also wait i lied the very last thing i did was add his freckles/beauty marks because he needed that little extra oomph and those were It. i think he probably has some on his hands/wrists too 💕

i was a little unsure if my idea for his hair would translate with this flat-color approach but im pretty happy with it! its supposed to be afrotextured hair (somewhere between 3b and 4c i think? wide range of potential i knowww but im still kind of hammering out my headcanons okay, this is exploratory lol) thats been rolled and finger-styled into his little feather shapes. i think loose, chunky twists would be another fun way to interpret his hair and twists are one of my fave styles to draw do i might draw him like that at some point too...

i guess fakir is the one who styles his hair for him before mytho gets his heart back? i imagine fakir is pretty meticulous about maintaining mythos health and appearance, even at the worst stages of their relationship. i think itd be hard for fakir to frame the way he treats mytho as For Mythos Sake if he wasnt doing some level of actually beneficial care for him, so being really fastidious about things like mythos diet and sleep hygiene and hair care and such gives fakir an outlet for his 'you just have to do what i tell you' thing that helps him convince himself it really is helping, no really, hes doing this for mythos benefit and he just has to be strict with him because mytho doesnt UNDERSTAND he needs PROTECTING and fakir is the ONLY ONE who can do it so mytho HAS to let him because if he doesnt then why does fakir even EXIST, if he cant manage this then what is he good for, and--

yknow. the usual complexes. and their relationship is so complex!!! but also so simple, but like. in a good way. fakirs behavior is complicated but his motivation regarding mytho is SO straightforward which makes that downward spiral into harm really easy to map out... i wont go much into that in this post since this is about visual/appearance-related headcanons but just. augh. i love this show and i love these characters!!! and i hope its apparent in my work that i do love them so <3

im hoping to do a set of these for the girls next!!! i have some other stuff to finish first but hopefully... Soon... Some Birds...

#princess tutu #fakir #mytho #prince siegfried #my art #i had sooo much fun playing around with style in these... the super strong white highlights + underpainting combo looks SO lovely #i should take this approach more often i almost never do!!! it rules and is fun to do #i was listening to my fakir playlist nonstop for DAYS while working on this and still intermittently since... #it feels like ive been sitting on these for a month but its only been 5 days omg. crazy... good to know tho #anyway i love themmm theyre everything. SO fun to draw i really hope i can do more art of them. i Want To... i have Ideas >:o) #btw is putting notes on my thoughts under a cut like this interesting for yall? its fun for me but idk if yall wanna read all that #i will probably continue regardless bc i love to hear myself talk esp abt my design choices but #im curious if my notes on my thought process are interesting to anyone else #if not oh well! thats what the cut is for 😤 nobodys gotta read it if they dont wanna im doing this for Me #full color

[calware]

I love your young!Rose design with the braids & hair beads, it reminds me of the Black girls i knew in elementary school (2005-2011), so its deffo “period accurate” and also a delightful choice. The way you draw the human kids in general is really nice, youre really good at conveying specific features with minimal lines (like her & Mom’s nose shape). Do you have any tips for how you draw faces to make them not same-face or repetitively “white” features, especially when drawing in a less “realistic” style (i dont wanna say your style is cartoony but idk what i would call it tbh)? I took a life drawing class back in 2019 but we mostly drew the same two models or our classmates, and it was both a limited pool of features plus feels hard to translate into art that isnt attempting to be 100% realistic.

Sorry if this is rambly. Congrats on 10k. Love ur new icon, tho i miss the Horb. Do you take commissions? I think i asked this before but i forgetful af.

thank you for the ask :)!! i'm really flattered that you think i'm good at avoiding same-face syndrome because i am VERY LAZY when it comes to drawing and i could definitely be doing a better job ;^^ i'm also not the best at drawing people diversely(?), it's just something i have to get better at. there are people way more qualified than me to give advice about this... but i can try giving some tips

the first is that, like with anything, if i'm not confident that i can accurately portray something or a specific feature i will usually look up a reference. i like paying attention to things like the position of the browbone, height of the cheekbones, shape of the chin, shape of the eyes, length/width of the face, width of the nostrils, shape/position of the bridge of the nose, roundness of the cheeks, etc. when i draw characters (specifically the homestuck characters i like, because i think about them a lot) i have an idea in my head of how they look and how they differ from one another. for example i see jade with a longer diamond-shaped face while rose has a shorter heart-shaped face, so i do my best to depict that in my drawings

(idk if this illustration makes ANY SENSE bc like i said i think that i also struggle with pushing myself in regards to this and i think i still have more to learn/practice)

i think it comes down to paying attention to the proportions/types of specific facial features and adjusting them each to create a unique face

that said when it comes to stylizing what you see from photographic references, i understand that it can be tricky to simplify it. i really don't have any advice for this.... i just play around with it until it looks good while also being recognizable as the specific thing i'm trying to draw.......... so in that case i think it helps to use other people's art as a reference too! i don't really care about sticking to one "style" so i don't mind drawing in a slightly different way if i want to do something another artist is also doing. so for example if you're struggling with drawing 4c hair i recommend looking at other people's drawings of characters with 4c hair that you like and playing around with if you can incorporate their techniques into your own art.

i hope this all made sense ;^^ there are definitely a lot of tutorials out there that are way more informative than this one

also, to answer your last question, i plan to open up a few commission slots next week! (as long as i have enough time to that is)

#ask #madam-melon-meow

[royalwriteroftheuniverse]

Holiday party with Andy

Mostly fluff tiny bit of angst some anxiety Andy Barber slightly older than his girlfriend and fluffyness but 18+ just incase

Comments & reblogs welcome no reposting or publishing

Special thanks to @cevansbrat0007

"Hey sweetheart you don’t have to be nervous look-"

"It’s not that I just I want to make a good impression on them"

"I don’t give a shit what they think from a 2 hr party with an introduction that lasts 3 minutes. I’m not going to break up with you just because someone goes 'I don’t like her.' Because  I love her and that’s all that matters beautiful" he kisses my head. 

He said he loved me he never said that before I wonder if he realizes he just said that 

“Hun you hear me.”

“Yea,"

 "If you don’t want to go you don’t have to go.”

“You kidding let all those women and men around you with alcohol in their systems and their work guard down. Hell no. I gotta steak my claim.”

"You steamed your claim"

"Um not to them. Now either I go or I give you a giant hicky"

"Either, or can't be both?" 

"Andy"

"What? It’s a valid question."

I roll my eyes.  

"Ok pants or dress"I swear I can see his eyes darker. "That’s not why I asked  I meant and that’s not happening."

"Spoilsport"

"You need to stop watching "The Good Fight." 

"Pants I know you feel more comfortable than the dress even though I like it better." 

I get a kiss on my hair. 

"Yea but it's cold"

"He smiles you can wear your velvet one."

He hasn't seen me in the velvet one it barely covers my butt, but then again slightly tispy jealousy Andy is fun to play with, "Hey we're taking a Lyfy tonight, right."

Yea why?

 "Just wondering"

Why plan on getting drunk on eggnog? 

I roll my eyes 

"One time it was one time and didn't it didn't taste like alcohol how was I supposed to know-"

"Mhm This is not a trial Missy." He grabs my hips bringing me close to him. 

"Don't missy me," I pout "I don't like being made fun of."

"I'm sorry babe you know I love you," he says wrapping his arms around my neck giving my temple a soft kiss. That's the second time he said he loved me in an hour. 

"Ok red velvet dress it is. Only cause you asked so nicely. " But if I get sick-" I point at his. 

He throws his hands up in surrender 

"I will take days off and nurse you back to health."

"Good boy" 

"You trained me well."

We get to the restaurant and I am suddenly regretting my choice of outfits and why does everyone here look so old i mean I know late 40s and 50s but they look like… God I can hear the jokes now about me looking young i feel bad about the jokes they might make to Andy about him and me being a good digger there's only a few years That's not fair its not his fault I look young he shouldn't have to-"

"Hey what's got you so worried Princess? Your coat."

"Oh yeah," I shrugg it off. "Are you sure I can uber home I mean they everyone is and I'm and you don't deserve."

"Hey relax no one is going to make a joke  and if anyone teases you you come get me and ill fire them." 

"K." I can't help but smile "But then who wouldn't want to make up an excuse to try to get you to dump me and date them?"

"Well it wouldn't work." He kisses me.

I give him a smile and then another piece of anxiety hits my brain. 

"I dont know any people he works with what if I seam so stupid and they just think I'm clingy and  I-

"Hey no one is going to think you're stupid. And I like having my arms around you as long as you do"

"Wha- did I say that outloud?"

"No you have different faces for different anxieties."

I groan as he wraps his arms around me. 

"I only noticed cause I pay attention sweetie  and- did that- was that dress always that short?"

"Yes I was wondering why you wanted me to wear it."

"You are not picking up anything this whole night."

"Andy if something falls-"

"I'll pick it up"

"Andrew you started this" 

He pulls me in front of him in a tight hug and then leans in and whispers "and I'm going to finish it." I can hear the smirk. All I want to do is crawl onto bed and sleep. 

"Well if it isn't the love birds."

I relax seeing Duffy.

"Hey nice to see a familiar face."

"I was hoping you two were going to make it. That's a short dress. I don't want to be arresting anyone tonight."

"It was Andy's idea."

"I didn't know the dress was that short." He says with an honest tone his voice raising up at the end defending himself. "But as long as no one touches her there won't be a problem." He says very matter of factly.

"I get a bit of a shiver  and move my shoulders forward at that mention

"Sorry sweetheart i didn't mean to-"

"No its my fault Andy I'm sorry. I "

"It's fine, I'm just glad I have Andy here and you if he gets out of line. " I wink. " plus I don't know anyone besides you two. You should come over soon for dinner."

"I'd love to."

"Do you like steak? Andy bought some for some cookout this fall that we never did and we need to use them or their worthless. I meanz God. didn't mean it like that. Sorry."

"No its fine and I absolutely do love steak."

"Next week?"

"What day?"

"Friday? 7?"

Still in his embrace I look up at Andy who nodded.

"Friday sounds great."

We part ways and we go to get a drink. 

"Oo eggnog."

"No." He laughs

"Why what's in there?"

"Vodka probably."

"I like vodka."

"I know but your migraine meds-"

I took them early afternoon so I don't take them tonight so its not an issue. And its just a cup. 1 cup Andy.  I know you mean well sweetie but trust me I got this." 

"Ok I trust you."

He gets me a cup and he holds my hand or my waist as we talk to people and by we I mean him because I am really really nervous and know no one. I end up playing with his hand a lot.

"Be right back sweetheart I have to go to the bathroom" I not as he says it into my ear and then kisses my temple. 

I intended to go straight to the bar to sit but I get intercepted but 

"Hi I'm Niel"

Andy's fried turned arch nemesis. He's ikier looking in person.   I introduce myself with the kindest I hate you smile I can muster. 

"I haven't seen you around  the office.Are you new?" 

This is his best lines ugh. 

"Uh no I'm here with my boyfriend."

"And he left you alone thats not very boyfriendly."

Neither is hitting on someone like this And I'm getting major creep vibes. 

"Well he-" 

Someone knocks into Neil and the drink accidentally spills on me a bit 

"I am soo sorry" a genuinely-genuine reaction forms on his face and  like a kick almost he changes attitudes to appologize 

"It's fine I'm fine " I back away before he can get napkins and I back into Andy. I know thst body anywhere.  I sigh and close my eyes for a moment of relief knowing he's there. I'm ok and he'd kick ass if I needed.  

"Babe what happened? You ok?" He looks up 

"Niel" he girts out 

"This is your boyfriend-"

"Yes I'm her boyfriend. What happened here? Neil."

"It was an accident." 

"It really was Andy."

"Niel." He growls out.

"Okay. Now that introductions are done. Andy, sweetie" and nope can't break their eye contact so I step in front of him. Bringing his eyes back to me "Why don't you come with me to the bathroom and help me get this out ok." 

"Yes lets." He takes my hand and then I see him give one last menacing look at Neil. 

I go into the women's bath. 

"Hello, anyone here my boy friends helping me with a stain."

No responses so I lock the door."  With a sigh as I lean back on it.

"Hey hey what happened what did Neil say ?"  his voice is soft but his eye furrow and its slits but I can still see his hands being forced out of fists by his own mind. At least he's trying. 

"He was just being a creep and someone bumped into him and thats why it spilt but-"

"How creep did he get?"

"The normal I'm used to. nothing I can't handle but I just, I missed you. The minute I bumped into you I knew everything would be ok "

"You knew that was me?"

"Honey I know your chest anywhere."

"What a coincidence I know yours anywhere too." I smile and laugh as my head drops down but when I look back up 

He is still looking at me with sad eyes he knows I'm not telling him everything but he's not pushing. 

"Honey any level of creep is not something you should be used to." His finger brushes my cheek softly.

"He was just hitting on me claiming you weren't being very boyfriendly enough." 

I think I said too much. 

"I'm fine." 

He sighs and wraps his arm around me.

"Are you sure. We can leave."

"And miss out on all that good food?" 

"Anytime you want to go I'll nick Neil out."

"Oka-wait what?"  I laughed. He kissed me and brought me in for a hug. I snacked my hands around his waist. 

"I love you sweetheart" 4th time today makes me smile "I love you too Andy."

He didn't even blink…."You calm enough?"

"Me. Yes?  You. What about that stain?"

"Oh it'll wash out."

I somehow get in a conversation with some wives and he makes sure I'm ok before he goes off to a different conversation himself.  We are ever so in tune and overprotective of each other, probably him more than me knowing I'm nervous we give each other little nods to signal the other is ok.  

When my group breaks up I find Andy immediately even though his group moved a bit.  its like this weird spidy-sense  we have for eachother. I wrap my arms around his waist and he puts his hand over mine. Its the little things that mean the most with us. The little touches the little glasses the little sift kisses.

"Sorry doll this is a private conversation don't think you'd under-."

"Excuse you but my girlfriend is welcome."

"And I just so happen to well  practiced  and versed in constitution law  and since it is a free country with the right to congregate you  can't discrimination against me being a woman as I was invited to the party."

It takes everyone in me not to roll my eyes at Andy who I know is beaming that  A) I remembered my constitutional law class from forever ago and b) the talented way I spin my words i said I was well practiced and verses. Not that it was my job.

A few minutes later I feel a hand slide down my hip I look at Andy and then I follow gaze and to the side of us Neil is in a conversation but obviously staring at my ass. 

"Doesn't he know I'm with you. "

"You ok with my hand there?"

"I didn't move it did i?"

"I love you. I really do. Love you. I don't know if you heard me the last 5 times."

"Actually this was the 5th time."

"So you did hear me," he teases."

Taglist

@nana1000night @sapphire-rogers @coltrainbat @hawkeyes-queen @patzammit @sparklybarbarianninja

#captain america #chris evans #avengers #ransom drysdale #steve rogers #andy barber fluff #andy barber x female reader #andy barber fic #andy barber fanfiction #andy barber #andy barber imagine #andy barber smut #andy barber x fem!reader #chris evans x plus size reader #ari levinson imagine #ari levinson x female reader #chris evans characters #steve rogers fanfiction #chris evans comfort #andy barber x reader #andy barber x y/n #andy barber x you #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #christopher robert evans #ari levinson fluff #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hanson x reader

[danepopfrippery]

All of it so good! I spotted the freddie writers i think broken up in a few credits (theyre freelance so makes sense). Clearly death threats worked…dont learn from that.

If somehow ur reading and dont get spoilers coming well they are so its on u at this point. Random thoughts below

*Loved Derek’s fashion choices! Also his lil bat jazz hands flourish srsly a+.

*Nandor…incorrectly…thinking its Guillermo’s bday and throwing him a dinner and buying him a gift was very sweet…despite being book ended between insults about never turning him and Nandor not seeming too worried if he died

*my sis and i clocked right away how he wouldnt let guillermo sit next to him at guillermos special fake bday dinner. Nandor u ho. U make him reas u bedtime stories AND brush ur hair but wont sir next to him cuz horny? I refuse to believe any other reason

*WHERE IS THE HELL HOUND?! I MUST HAVE THE HELL HOUND! And i will be angrier than freddie ep if hes gone.

*is it weird Guillermo went to you…gene and the sire for turning advice after learning its forbidden? Also im choosing to believe this is a new superstition cuz they didnt seem arsed by it

*rip neighbor dude. Ppl are right its plot holey look its still the freddie writers in there ok?!

*sooo much bad turning in these two eps it was srsly keystone cops style and i was laughing my ass off despite being like derek irl

*nadja u bitch. Making nadjita dance and show her pussy is MEAN! You drunken slut. I dis enjoy taint that can write checks tho

*another plothole: it always seemed nandor was as shit at laszlo as hypnosis and i always took it of all 3 he was the worst (nadja the best). Animal control anyone? Well now he gets to be a pig amongst guinea pigs he’ll brag of this forever

*’cuz his brains fucked’ had me rolling. Also laszlo u liar u hypnotized him when trying to kiss him got u nowhere

*i was off my face w drug blood was also a good line

*colin didnt do much here but his waiter job and greek bit were great

*i am glad despite pussy showing nadjita has more movement finally

*laszlo has no god damned right to look that tasty

*the shit and fart jokes were mostly flat. I was waiting for laszlo to say he thought guillermo was hitting on him or something. That said seems we get jealous nandor next week and thats all i want

*poor guide, poor sean. Mikey u cunt

*the quebecois thing delighted my sis who studied there (france ppl hate ice right? But $8 wine is primo so u know)

*poor guillermo. Hes clearly a slayer vamp hybrid and very sad about it. Cant wait to see Nandor learn this. Also u will never convince me he could kill guillermo. Other than his eyes watering Guillermo has beat his ass like a rented mule twice now. Cheating or not (i say not)

*seems death threats also made note of make nandor better cuz hes followed a hippy self help book. Its kinda sweet cuz thats where his minimal kindness to guillermo comes from. I dont believe he ever through benji a bday dinner let alone convinced the others to come along

*colin seems aware hes been out of the job game for awhile but makes no indication if he knows why. Laszlo treats him basically same as always and vice versa

#wwdits #what we do in the shadows #wwdits spoilers #nandermo #nadjita #nandor the relentless fanart #laszlo cravensworth #guillermo de la cruz #the guide #nadja of antipaxos #colin robinson

[ruiineedsfood]

Ruii's twts OC dump (will be updated)

So in order from top left

Yona Stone

Note : ignore how badly drawn the wheelchair is because i haven't made an updated rendered version hshsh

She's inspired by medusa in greek mythology, I know she appeared like 5 seconds in the disney movie, but like how can i not put such an iconic character??? also, medusa is quite villainy in the mythos, so i feel like it fits the twst theme yknow.

Nickname : Yona , Yonyon

Grade/class : 2-B

Club : Honestly, idk maybe board game or magift

Birthday : she's giving leo vibes idk what exactly but leo 100%

Homeland : Shaftlands in the big city area

Favorite subjects : Alchemy and Defense magic

Hobby : darts, swimming(used to be)

Talent : Good eye in fashion

Favorite food : seafood

Least favorite : beef

Bellaire Witcher

So her inspiration is basically a mix of the cheshire cat and mad hatter. she's a tortured artist, so not exactly based on a disney character i just find it fun to make a very wild and artistic character. now i don't know if i should keep her clover design maybe I'll change it because i gave her a clover bcs i thought it looked cute lmao.

Ruth Burn

I just wanted a fox oc lmao. I thought omg twst doesn't have foxes, and then fellow popped up, and I'm like, welp. So personality wise, Ruth is a very responsible person, but she has a cheeky side that is kinda like ruggie in a way. Her motivations are more social rather than self-preservation like ruggie. i didn't really base her on any character from disney i just knew i didn't want her to be text book cheeky fox character, wanted her to be more of like a normal teen with bits of fox like slyness in her.

Mielin Schoerin and Mimi Schoerin

They're kinda inspired by the twin cats in lady and the tramp. The first two that i designed, actually.

Mielin (dark hair) is the oldest between the two, and she's the most developed character in the cast because i just fell in love with her LMAO. Mielin's name came from a part of a cell in the nerve system cmiiw, so its main job is to protect, and i was like, hell yeah, that name sounds cool. So she's the more mellow twin takes things more seriously than her sister. She's usually seen to be very uptight and awkward by the other students but that's mostly because she's just quite dense with her surroundings. funfact but i like to imagine she's the girl crush of campus bcs i want to give her so much love shhshsb

Mimi (blondie) is the younger one, and i like to think she's the more energetic of the two, but she is more analytical than mielin. Mimi has this aura of being more laid back of the two, but she has the sense of being all knowing of things. kinda like floyd but not as wacky as floyd.

Naima / Zahra (can't decide but im leaning towards Naima)

Honestly, she's my fav design, but i have no clue on her background yet. I'm leaning towards her being a passionate dancer whose roots are from traditional dances from her culture, or i could go the other route of her being an ex athlete or ex idol. since the story i want to tell through her is to be her own self and come to terms with her choices because, like, what if our choices are just not right for us? Im trying to make her into a character that isn't similar to the existing cast in twst, idk im finding myself making her into a jamil 2.0 and im putting more thought into her to not be like that. the disney movie doesn't really have a character that i want to adopt to be her so im still thinking about it.

Melissa (Mel)

so diasomnia's book is still ongoing, i dont have any fixed plans for her involvement with the existing cast yet. but my plan is to make her a race of beings opposite to faes in a sense, since her magic doesn't come from her but the magic of others around her. so, like sucking the life out of them and repurposing it to be her own type of thing. Malleus finds her abandoned in the forest as a young kid with all the magic in the surrounding area gone. She gets adopted, but lilia refuses because she can be dangerous with her inate powers that can weaken malleus and endanger silver since in my head, they found her after lilia took in silver. so they came to an agreement to take care of mel with the condition she stays away from silver and malleus before learning to control her powers. Now, what makes mel okay with this treatment in her head is because she remembers everything from her birth and how her mother abandoned her and stuff so she feels like its normal and devotes herself to Malleus as a guard as a sense of gratitude for letting a monster like her in. Her arc is realizing that she's not a monster that she was made to believe. Instead, she was a neglected kid who wasn't taught properly. Honestly, i just feel really sad about her, and initially, i want her to explore lilia's character since he's one of my favorites but after concocting this i just want to give mel a hug.

Also, her OB-ing would be cool

#twst oc #twst oc lore #twisted wonderland #ruii babies

[wondero28]

Beach Day w/ 4*Town

My first ever request! It still means so much to me, i hate that i can’t link to the original ask

————

Also i uh- I don’t really go to the beach often?? I hope these trips are ok?? I dont think I’ve been to a beach maybe 5 times. Some of these run a little long though- im sorry-

————

Robaire

- Robaire going to the beach seems like an innocent trip- but its quickly something that’ll turn into him trying to show off to you & make the most romantic possible trip

- Even if going to the beach was a spur-of-the-moment choice he’s already thinking of ways to make you smile and laugh at the beach. If its a planned trip then he’s going to work up so many romantic & cheesy displays

- He doesn’t spend much time shopping for the occasion, he’s mostly good to go regardless

- He wears simple green swim trunks & has a muscular body! He’s not ripped or anything- but Robaire works out & it shows so enjoy the eye-candy on the beach trip

- You both visit a beach that sits behind an expensive hotel & is somewhat private because of that. Robaire doesn’t really disguise himself but fortunately he doesn’t really need to since the beach is never too busy

- When you both actually get to the beach, Robaire is going to follow you around & let you have plenty of fun before trying anything too romantic. The first thing he’s going to WANT to do though- is just swim around in the more shallow water & play around with you. He see’s it as a good excuse to hug & give playful kisses (and if given the chance will absolutely smother you with affection). But if you both swim & his foot gets touched by a fish or washed up kelp??? The man is screaming like a gull & flopping over in a panic

- His real goal for y’all’s trip though?? To have a nice little dinner on the beach towels and just enjoy one another’s company. He brought a lot of your favorite snacks & a tiny radio to play music while you both rested & ate. He’s going to use the little dinner date to get close to you & compliment you on just about anything. And he does! It’s honestly super romantic until a seagull tries to steal some of his food- you’ve never seen Robaire flinch so hard (or watched anyone try to punch a bird before)

- Ultimately its a very fun trip, you come back tired but feeling loved from all his cheesy antics. If the other guys are there- he most certainly gave them death glares & explained prior to not interrupt his day w/ you

- Aaron Z & Aaron T definitely interrupted the both of you regardless because: A. rivalry & B. T screams so fucking loud its unsure of whether he’s dying to a shark or loosing at a game of beach ball

————

Jesse

- I’m not saying he’s gonna make it a big deal- but he’s gonna make it a big deal

- No seriously Jesse treats y’all’s trip to the beach like y’all are preparing to fight a god. He’ll take you out shopping to get some new swim/beach clothes, new towels, sunscreen, a nice umbrella & cooler etc etc. its a fun day honestly, he makes it into a fun lil date for y’all

- the entire time you guys prep for the trip Jesse is absolutely ecstatic. He loves time like this with you and is hyped about getting to show off his body & new swim trunks

- Speaking of his beach body & beach wear- Jesse is a thick guy. Not necessarily got any pudge but he’s not a super masculine or thin guy. And he bought the most tacky ass Hawaiian floral swim trunks. If you tried to convince him to buy otherwise he’d be dramatic & fake upset, if you joined him in wearing tacky shit?? He’s grinning ear to ear

- You both attend a normal beach, probably later in the day so its less busy. He has sunglasses on & his hair up in a tiny ponytail to avoid being noticed or bothered (which works ridiculously well like ??? Wtf ??? How??)

- When y’all are actually at the beach, Jesse had hopes to try a lot of various activities but in all reality he just ends up lounging around and following you. He’s willing to try just about anything with you but if its left up to him, the both of you are going to snuggle up on a towel & probably lazily float around in the waves a bit later

- He compliments your beach clothes & flirts with you endlessly. It ranges from him telling you how much he loves how you look in the sunny rays to him using bad pick-up lines on you (like y’all Arent already dating 😒)

- His favorite part of the day is honestly probably going to swim in shallow water with you because he just wants to hold you close to him & be your floaty. It doesn’t matter if you’re bigger or smaller then him in any way- the man is insistent that he holds you and lets you relax in his arms while y’all swim around

- Later in the trip Jesse will 100% serenade you while yall are relaxing. He presents to you: a bag of chips and a little paper plate of food from one of the shops on the beach✨. You didn’t expect it to be as good as it was- you both promise each other you’ll need to visit the shop again. But oh? OH! He also got you a gift! While you’re eating Jesse pulls out a pretty little bead necklace with a shark tooth that he snagged from one of the beach shops

- “So you don’t forget about our first beach date!” He cooes, he’ll put it on you & says he doesn’t really expect you to wear it all that often but that he hopes you enjoy it regardless (if you wear it often after the trip- Jesse is filled with so much pride & joy)

- Ultimately its a very chill trip. Its full of a lot of kisses & loving touches, you both have fun (unless the rest of the band is there- then it’s probably a nice trip + a lot of hoots & hollers from the boys WHICH HE IGNORED SURPRISINGLY WELL?)

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Tae Young

- Going to the beach with Tae? I think you mean bird watching & animal hunting

- Not animal hunting as in like- hurting them. But animal hunting as in Tae wants to find a lot of different beach animals & get pictures of them

- Going to the beach with Tae Young was probably a spur-of-the-moment type trip so the two of you are wildly under prepared & probably visit a very public/busy beach. You both likely buy snacks & drinks from random shops set up along the beach, he’ll buy you both matching bracelets that have tiny animal charms in them. He also feed you freshly made goodies from random shops & makes sure you’re never too thirsty or hot on the beach! He’s a sickeningly sweet significant other >:0!!

- He tries to keep his identity hidden with a big ass sun hat & glasses- it works but there were 2 really close calls & he almost cried about both of them

- Aside from the hat & shades, Tae Young is sporting some swim trunks, a beach shirt with various tropical animals on it, and some on brand crocs (😎). You dont see much of his beach bod unless you drag him out to swim but he’s not super toned or anything. He’s got a little bit of pudge on his tummy from the snacks he consistently eats but its mostly unnoticed

- Y’alls day consist of what you’d imagine. A LOT of finding animals & getting pictures. You both actually end up staying on the beach well into the night because new animals started to emerge after the sun set. You guys see sea gulls, 1-2 pelicans, a lot of tiny hermit crabs, various lizards, some random unidentified fish that was hanging out in the shallows, and at night you even saw some moon jellyfish wash up!! Which Tae Young insisted you help him toss back into the water. The entire trip was filled with so many fun animal facts & an ecstatic Tae

- Speaking of the animals- Tae Young was 100% doing what no one should do on the beach. He was feeding the gulls. It was really chaotic but when he got you closer to him & had an arm around you while you both fed & watched the gulls?? It was honestly really sweet. And if you express wanting to try other activities with him he’ll do whatever you want in a heartbeat. He doesn’t want to make the trip about himself or his own fun- he just forgets that not everyone is buck wild for animals sometimes

- Also I didn’t mention prior but Tae Young PROBABLY invited the others. So for most of the day you can expect Aarons T & Z not far off because the both of them are trying to catch the animals they come across (ever seen 2 grown ass men trying to catch a pelican? It ain’t go well)

- Later in the night, Tae Young is going to lay around n cuddle up with you on a few beach towels. The two of you can just stargaze & talk. And honestly i think a lot of today made you both tired so Tae 100% offers to let you nap in his arms for awhile while he just gently rubs your back & peppers your face & hands with kisses

- Ultimately?? Super fun trip. Maybe not the most normal beach day/night but it was a unique adventure for you both. And y’all had the best cuddles and laughs that day

- Also jesse got a video of T being absolutely beaten down & bitten by a pelican. Its viral & the both of you are just standing in the background as Tae young shares a fact about how pelicans are scary because they try & usually do eat anything smaller then them (T cries abt this)

————

Aaron T

- Ok so a trip with Aaron T, is really just a trip with Aaron T + Aaron Z. But a trip with Aaron Z? Is really a trip with Aaron Z + Tae Young. And a trip with Ta- ok you get it. The entire gaggle of boys is there with you guys unless you explicitly tell Aaron T he’s not allowed to invite anyone else

- Whether a beach trip w/ T is spur-of-the-moment or not- he doesn’t prep much. He loves visiting the beach & already had what he needed (or he thinks so at least)

- He dresses up with bright orange swim trunks, some sandals, and a long sleeve swim shirt that hugged onto him very nicely 👀. You didn’t directly see much of his beach bod (though hes willing to show you if you ask *wink* *wink*) but Aaron T is pretty thick and lean. Not really got a lot of defined muscles but he’s strong

- He takes you & the others to a public beach WITHOUT ANY DISGUISES because he “promises privacy” so naturally until he reveals y’all are actually sneaking over a natural rock wall to a more secluded part of the beach- you’re all awkwardly trying to hide faces & avoid fans. Sneaking over the rock wall seemed so casual for T, honestly no one else really expected to be sneaking anywhere so a few of you fell over & hurt y’all’s asses

- But once over that wall?? The beach was absolutely gorgeous. It was clean & almost completely empty aside from maybe 1-2 groups of surfers who had the same smart idea

- This was one if the few times when T was actually pretty quiet too, while you & him were setting up your own little spot on the beach, he was just calm & at ease. If you ask him about it, he’ll say he’s quiet so he can listen to the waves. Turns out our lovable and energetic boy is immensely relaxed by the sounds on a beach. Its cute really, you caught him sitting in the sand with his eyes closed just listening to everything around him. This kind of threw the other guys for a loop but you knew better

- Now if its up to T, the two of you are going to do surfing or boogie boarding. He will 100% use this as an excuse to wrap his arms around you (or be wrapped up in your arms) and be close to you while he explains how to use the board. If you’re not a particularly strong swimmer? You both boogie board & he will be close by. Anytime you fall or wipeout he’s laughing & cheering! Giving you kisses & hugs after every try

- If you both actually go surfing (cause yes he got a board appropriate for you & your size) the both of you are going into get a bit of friendly competition between you, T, and Z. And hey! Who knew? Aaron T is ridiculously good at surfing! And he’s having a ridiculous amount of fun. You’ve not heard such a strong belly laugh out of him in ages. He tells you outright that he’s super thankful to share this with you- that this was one of his favorite old hobbies he had to leave behind for the band

- If you don’t care much for the water he doesn’t mind at all, he’ll happily sit around with you on the sand. He convinced you & Tae to help him bury Jesse in the sand & then not help the blond out. Also he 100% forgot to bring food so he’s going to climb over the rock wall & come back with food. He brings the both of you some bags of snacks & while it isn’t SUPER romantic- the both of you share some chips & play the pocky game with them. It was goofy & awkward but it was so worth it

- Ultimately? A trip with Aaron T to the beach is filled with a lot of laughter, not even because of jokes. Just because of fun, and that was pleasant

————

Aaron Z

- Unlike T, a trip with Z does not involve him inviting the others. So the both of you actually sneak away from the band one day to have a nice beach date. It was probably planned but- honestly he doesn’t mind being drug out to the beach at random. Not if its just you two

- Speaking of- Aaron Z really cherishes alone time with you, he had an easier time opening up & being more himself. So you can expect him to be more chatty and giddy on this trip then he is normally (its not that he’s uncomfortable around the guys- he just has an easier time being himself when its 1 on 1, and has the most fun being himself around you)

- Z dresses very casually for the occasion, hes wearing a black t shirt with some black swim trunks that have purple accents. He didn’t bother bringing shoes so he buys some crummy flipflops right before y’all head out to the beach (he only trips in the sand 1 time 😎) he intends on taking off the shirt for swimming- and his beach body?? Absolutely beautiful ✨ he has a classic beach bod with some decent muscle definition all over (if you make a comment on it you get to see him grin and blush)

- Also he’s similar to to Robaire if y’all got to plan. He got you both a nice hotel room that was out by a private beach, and you both end up visiting at one of the less busy times

- Beach activities for the day are completely up to you unless you force Z to choose something. So take the day to do whatever you like! He’ll be asking you questions & chattering away. You hear a lot of chuckles and snickers out of him, and he’s regularly keeping his hands on you. But not in a pervy way! He just likes physical contact so he’ll be holding hands, wrapping his arm around you, be sitting close, giving regular cheek and temple kisses etc.

- If you make Z choose the activities for the day, he’s probably going to ask you to go swimming with him & maybe surf if you feel comfortable. He’s not as into surfing as T is but he still likes & wants to show off his skills to you on the board! Ultimately though Z wont really have many ideas. Similarly to Jesse- Z just wants to laze around with you. He just enjoys snuggling up and talking

- If you’re not a huge fan of the water though, you can expect ALL KINDS of stupid little competitions between the two of you. Be it playing a game of beach ball, building a tiny kingdom out of sand, seeing who can find the coolest sea shell or sand dollar, playing tag etc. Z is competitive by spirit & adores watching you try to beat him. And as a bonus?? Winner gets to be peppered with kisses and love

- He definitely let you win a few games just so he could smother you with love & compliments. Its so rare to see him so consistently with a smile, but its what having such a wonderful S/O does to a guy 🥰

- The both of you keep some cool shells & sand dollars to remember the trip. And little do you know but Z has a TON of pictures of you from this trip. Selfies & some secret ones- his home screen is a new picture of the both of you in a selfie with him kissing your cheek

- Overall? A relaxed and pretty playful day at the beach, he probably wasn’t super assertive and thats fine. He was yours the entire time & thats what we care about

#4town #4townie #4town x reader #4town imagines #aaron t #aaron z #4town jesse #4town robaire #4town taeyoung #4town aaron t #4town aaron z

[bloodsoaked-gown]

Pheonix

𝐏𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐱 - Random facts about yourself:

I dont have one permanent teeth(its a story), i love to cut my own hair and have a moment of silence for the poor choice i made with that, people call me funny and cute all the time, im actually just weird, i love to eat yet i dont want to eat, my family Jokes A Lot About my appearance so i hate someone talking about my body and what should i do, even in good way, im very stubborn and i will do what i want in the end mostly when it comes about myself,i have an unusual body mistake which made me have two extra certain body part i wouldnt say publicly, its very funny to me, i hate saying sorry when im not wrong but i have to for sake of authority, i care about people a lot but at a limit? like there is a boundary where my care ends and i wont bat an eye about them even if i care about them, weird. I hate being an elder kid, but im a good caretaker, unless im in bad mood. i get annoyed and angry way often but i dont show it on others, sometimes it gets off on my brother and then i feel very guilty cause it shouldnt have been like that. im tall very tall so fucking tall that finding clothes and footwear are like a sport to me, and yeah getting joked about it? oh please- but im not insecure about me im more like i could look better but i love how i look even now mostdays, i would love to kill a certain set of people by mistake but i would hate and cry if i think of them dying because im like that?

#this sounds more of a rant lol #its too long #but it is what it is now #sorry

[eurydicees]

so. about platonic atsuiwa........

i believe they would have that weird kind of friendship where they don't know each other's favorite color but do know about their deepest trauma lol

like, atsumu will constantly rant about his love life (or lack thereof) and iwaizumi will listen with full commitment but pause him to ask things like, "wait, who was that guy again?" or "huh what high school were you from btw?" "what was your brothers name?" etc.

(and somehow its not awkward at all. atsumu answers and they move on)

i might be a bit obsessed with iwa's mom friend energy but can you blame me. he needs to take care of other people all the time or he will die. and with oikawa living overseas now he needs a new brat to take care of, you know.

but its not the same as it was with oikawa, because atsumu gets offended when people try to be caring with him. so iwa has to be sneaky about it, too. like instead of outward saying "don't overwork yourself" he has to go out of his way to invite him to do stuff when he knows the little shit's gonna spend the whole weekend at gym practicing serves again. and atsumu always agrees when iwa asks to hang out because he's a friendless lonely bastard who cries when people show him the slightest bit of love and attention

also atsumu calls iwa to rant about how much he hates samu twice a week. iwa tried to tell him once that he actually loves his brother very much and it's obvious but atsumu brushed it off by saying iwa wouldn't understand lmao

for iwa, tsumu is mostly a brat who needs him but he's also one of the most understanding people on earth. when iwa rants on the phone about his work or his family, he feels like he reaveals too much at the end and tries to cover it like "i mean i dont even know why i get so damn depressed over it this is so stupid" and atsumu will be like "nah i get it. want me to drop by with ice cream?"

and he does!! everybody wants to eat ice cream and cry sometimes!!! iwa needs to be babied too, thank you very much

tsumu's way of caring isnt as clear as iwa's but iwa gets it. instead of dragging him outside (like iwa does) tsumu will come over to his house, order pizza and put a random episode of friends or gilmore girls and sit silently with him and iwa it will be more than enough for iwa.

i feel like this is getting too out of the canon storyline and sounds more like an au but idk

one time iwa said he wanted to try dying his hair and they did it using grocery store hair supplies and at the end it looked so horrible that they both laughed until their eyes watered and the next day they went out to buy brown hair dye to fix it. then atsumu messed something up and the dye didn't work, iwa decided to get a buzzcut..

one time they sent a selfie to oikawa and he was.....not happy about it :D

iwa teaches atsumu how to cook some basic meals and atsumu tries to show off to samu with them

the first time iwa remembered atsumu's birthday and got him a little present atsumu cried and then said a bug got into his eye

they make fun of each other's choices of men

they go to gym together and atsumu always listens to music as he works out so one day iwa asked him to share a link to his gym playlist and it was just full of anime opening and some female kpop bands

i think this is all i have. its like 1.30 am rn so i think i'll go to sleep. hope you like these xx

oh my god yess yesssss yess YESSS !!!! i am YELLING !!!!!!! loveeeeeeeee all of this oh my god. gym buds atsuiwa is so good. iwaizumi teaching atsumu to cook (osamu is deeply offended that atsumu didn't ask him). atsumu forcing iwaizumi to watch romcoms and tv shows of the like (oikawa is deeply offended bc iwa refuses to watch telenovelas with him, but he'll watch friends with atsumu miya).

you're also so right that they literally know about each other's worst fears but atsumu would not be able to tell you what "aoba johsai" is if a gun was put to his head. iwaizumi could tell you the worst memory of atsumu's life but absolutely could not tell you what his favorite animal is.

like, atsumu: yeah i know iwaizumi best out of the whole national team we go to the gym together all the time

kageyama: what middle school did he go to then.

atsumu: ....

hinata: kageyama you went to the same middle school, that's cheating. atsumu, he went to kitagawa daiichi btw

atsumu: i'm quitting this team

and you have the way iwaizumi takes cares of atsumu vs oikawa so right tbh, like oikawa can get the tough love yell at rant kinda thing going on, but atsumu gets a more subtle kind of care. so true. man. i'm obsessed w all of this THANK YOU

#ask #atsumu miya #hajime iwaizumi #ALSO THE HAIR DYE STORY. SO GOOD.

[zellen420]

Warning ⚠️ meaningless rantings

Ok so. Abit about me, I have had clinical depression since I was 9 years old. It doesn't exactly go away or get better. Cupple that with ADHD the inattentive kind, and dyslexia it's hard to feel that people understand your train of thought.

So I've seen councilors, psychologists and psychiatrists. I've even been on antidepressants. Wall I feel that those treatments are grate. I've had enough poor experiences that I'm kinda at a point where dealing with a professional would course me just as much issues on its own that it doesn't feel exactly worth it. Especially as history has dictated that the moment I felt stable and confident enough in my care to stop hiding and open up. I would be met with some circumstance where my providers would ternate treatment. Or it would become immediately clear that this person is not a safe provider.

So hear is my problem. I have a hard time being motivated to do much more than exist. I feel it has hurt my relationships and stunted my life in general.

You see I know there are things, techniques and "strategies" that work for me and I should be using .. I'm not. Becouse making sure I take my medication is such a challenge that there are many days where that is realistically all I've accomplished.

I hate this

I hate that I can't seem to sleep without headphones becouse if I let myself lission to the silence of my own breath my inner voice rears its head like a ugly hydra prepared to grow louder on more violent with every attempt to quiet it's yamerings of every bad thing, sad moment, disappointment, let down, broken promise , short coming, or interaction that I've ever had. So without a numbing I don't sleep

If I don't have other people to feed I can go all day without thinking of food. And frankly I tend to eat mostly out of routine to avoid my hand shaking and my cat getting mad at me. But with that I do tend to have safe foods that I eat over and over that are frankly tarrable for my system.

I want to be more active.

I think if I move more it may help

My back if fucked

But I'm afraid to walk in my nabourhood. Partly becouse I'm embarrassed to be seen. Mostly becouse of dog owners who don't understand that some people don't want to see your dog. Yes even if you think it's well trained and cute. Your dog isn't something I want to interact with, especially when it is off leash running towards me on a trail marked "on leash only"

But yah know. That makes me the asshole right. Because your choice to brake the rules and let your animal run up to me, where I should be able to safely expect that these owners have control and care for there animals, made me feel unsafe and triggered a anxious shutdown.

I hate leving me house.

I have nowhere to go.

I have no friends that I see regularly.

I can't afford to join a class .

I'm afraid to meet people. Becouse that tends to go badly.

Part of me just wants to go to sleep

But I can't

The thoughts keep me up

They tend me be my mother,

But it's not just her voice

"welp.. you have a multifaceted personality."

"if you don't stop eating you'll always have a rotund figure"

"just try harder"

"You have a unconventional face"

"you have no idea how hard it is to find a dark haired doll with blue eyes. Blue eyes just seem to come with blonds"

"if your eyes are blue then so is a elephants ass"

"dont touch her it's probably contagious"

"why would I be friends with a girl that looks and sounds like a boy"

"you only have long hair so people think your a girl"

"we all know your not a real girl"

"no feaks or foureyes"

"what's the skirt for? Hiding your fat cock?"

"Holy shit it has tits!"

"I'm so glad Im not ******"

"why are you with her?"

"yah know now that I've actually talked to you. Your really easy to get along with."

"you know I can't let anyone know we hangout"

"why should I ? My partner Is more important than you (ther child)!"

"smile"

"never mind. Umm don't smile"

"come take the photo for us. Thank-you !Perfect then everyone will be in it"

"I thought he only had a step daughter"

"your the first born?!"

"I didn't know _____ had a older sister. They never mentioned you"

" youed better be good at something"

"your brother will naturally be more successful than you"

"meeting/getting to know you had been.... 'interesting'"

"fat girls need to give good head. Otherwise who would date them?"

"I figure my face is only a few centimeters above my titts. I'm sure if I can get the focus up from there long enough they won't see my belly"

"if all your friends are hot, and your not conventionally attractive, well we all know what that means.. right"

"she's grate to have around the creeps run when they see her with us"

"why would anyone give a sit about your birthday?"

"you should totally sell this online! I bet If youed try it would work !"

"just do it"

"oooohh your _____s kid?. Damn"

"I promise"

"ignorance is bliss"

"if only we had met another time"

"you only have titts becouse your fat"

" we thought you where ace."

"your interests are.... Unique"

This is the lullaby my brain sings to me each night . I just want to not hate myself thank-you

Like youed think I would have fetishised this by now.

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. used to work at a restaurant, now a full time mother of one and is getting gray hairs lefty eyebag 😅 you did pretty good, I like my nickname hahaha

Oh no, if you want you can rant about your day to me. Do your anxiety attacks come pretty often?

I still have this really bad headache. I don't like it, I hate headaches because then it makes my eyes hurt too.

You sound so organized. I remember doing fifo when I used to work at a grocery store. Do you like watching videos of ASMR where the people are stocking their pantry and organizing it all nice and pretty?

Nooo I really don't know my type anymore I swear! I mean some traits haven't changed but it's hard to explain. I don't wanna ramble and bore you haha

Emily has good taste in her favorite princess lol second favorite is definitely Elsa and if I had a third, it might be Jasmine.

Don't apologize for rambling I don't mind knowing more about you and stuff. So when you say raspy, like Scarlett's raspy voice?

The word that makes me cringe is "moist", it's so awkward. That and the R word that people would use to describe others who are mentally ill or autistic. I can't even say or type it because it makes me mad to think about it.

Hahahahaha I love that clip! STELLAAAAAAA. He is so funny as Cam. Do you know that one episode where they were going to watch the eclipse? And Cam was all slathered in lotion and dressed in all white??

- CuriousGeorge

Hahaha yaaay im glad you like your nickname from me. lol.

oh its okay. It's just a living situation with my father in law. We have been having some disagreement and argument for a while, regarding parenting. remember when i told you that it takes a lot for me to get real mad or dislike somebody? well this is the example. haha. The anxiety I was talking about was kinda related to the issue. It's a long sorry, i dont wanna force u listen to me. don't wanna scare u away. lol

oh no, that sucks. headache always annoying. Are you gonna take medicine at all? maybe something like tylenol or motrin or something?

haha no, not really. I'm organized in certain stuff. Sometimes i can be unorganized too. :D

well, i'm not as organized as people who does asmr to their pantry but if i see something really organize, i guess it gives me good feelings. sometimes seeing even a little things that really not match or organized can "tickle" me in an annoying way.hahaha. i dont know if i have OCD or not. maybe i do but not that bad. im not sure about it.

For example, my husband mostly let Em to pick what she wants to wear but sometimes it bothers me if it doesnt match or something. So I always pick her clothes or give her choices that I already set up for her lol. Even for her pajamas or clothes she wears at home which nobody really see it. lol. He always said "It's okay, let her pick n wear what she wants." and I always say "No, it doesnt look good, i dont like it." or "no, it doesnt match / it's too much going on and it drives me crazy." hahahahaha. but dont worry, i dont force it, if after I try to give her choices n she still pick her own, I let her.

Or I like my hangers faces the same way, or my money in my wallet, i like them facing the same way from biggest number to the smallest. lol.

I'm like this with how arrange while loading my dishwasher. I prefer loading it than unloading it. I load my dishwasher like I'm playing tetris game. lol.

The same with our beddings (especially pillowcases). I have an assigned pillow cases for each pillow. lol. like, i want a certain pillow case is put on to certain pillows. so everytime we wash all of our bedding and he helps with putting on the sheets and everything, he doesnt do the pillow cases because I want to do it n i ask him not to do it. lol You probably think "damn, she's weird" right now. lol.

haha it's okay, you wont bother me with your ramble about ur type. I'm all ears or all eyes now. lol.

hahaha those princesses u like are Em's top favorites.

yes, something like Scarlet's raspy or Lizzie's raspy. I think Lizzie's voice is kinda raspy sometimes. I think their raspy voice is sexy.

Hmm.. i'm a little confused why moist bothers a lot of people. I mean i gues it sounds a little weird but i dont know if it's THAT weird.

haha yeah, when u type "STELAAAAAA" i read it with Cam's voice. lol. n yeeeeees! I remember that episode. Cam was on antibiotic medication or something n it says avoid sun exposure and he took it to the next level and then the "dress" that he wears got stuck on the boat's propellers. lol and he had to go to the small store. n i remember when it's dark from the eclipse, he says "hello darkness my old friend." lol.

Speaking about that episode, I have been to that hiking spot where Phil and Claire went. The view was sooooo gorgeous. I remember that there was a huge tree collapse there, it's so big that i had to climb it n i could stand on it and took a pict.

That lake where they were at was called Emerald Bay. It's in South Lake Tahoe.

Next questions?

Cheerio!

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

[oops-supercorptrash]

when kara gets back and lena quietly celebrates before slipping out the door when no ones looking. She books a flight—somewhere, anywhere, she doesnt really care. Just not here. It’s first class, of course, she may have lost access to l-corp’s private fleet but she didn’t lose her hatred of flying (unless its in kara’s arms).

The plan lands late in London. Lena stays overnight in a hotel overlooking the Thames and the London Eye, jet lag making her stay up all night sipping tea and watching the city lights flicker over the water and the dew slowly forming on the light posts and handrails. She tries not to think about what she left behind, about the lack of notifications on her phone. No one noticed she was gone, no one thought to check up on her. Without L-Corp, her phone was painfully devoid of emails, calls, and updates. She didnt miss the monotony of board rooms and kissing ass to men she didnt want or need, but to feel needed, to feel wanted was a longing that was so deeply rooted in her chest that it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

But it’s better this way. National City has its hero back. L-Corp is under the control of her demonic brother, but Lena doesn’t worry about him anymore. She knows Kara will protect the city and the world from whatever lex has planned. National City has nothing for her except a graveyard reminder of her sins. Sins she has to stop trying to atone for.

Maybe she’ll move to switzerland. It’s a nice, neutral country. No one will recognize her there. She can work at the large hadron collider or start her own tech company from scratch, just like she and jack had always planned. She could do real good get a fresh start away from her family. She had thought metropolis to national city was enough, but she was wrong. A luthor couldn’t share her home with a kryptonian after all.

at dawn lena falls asleep, tea mostly empty on the table beside her window seat. an immeasurable amount of time passes before a soft knock on the door wakes her. Half asleep, she uncurls herself from the ball she had rolled into to get comfortable in the too small chair. The knock comes again.

“god, im coming!” lena snaps at whoever has the audacity to wake her up at such an hour.

she half stomps to the door and flings it open. “i thought i told reception to—“

theres kara. at her door. at the door of her hotel room in london.

kara holds out a white cardboard box. “theyre fresh.”

lena stares at the box of what smells like scones like kara’s just handed her a bomb. kara herself looks like shes about to jump out of her own skin, fingers trembling as they grip the side of the box, hair in tangles like she didnt even bother to brush it when she changed out of the supersuit.

“you found me.” lena states.

“you left.” kara retorts.

lena takes the box of scones from kara’s still outstretched hands. “come in.” lena moves out of the doorway to allow kara to step inside. lena feels her own hands tremble; her body is alive with electricity, like just being around kara is making her synapses short circuit.

“why did you leave?” kara asks at the same time lena says “how did you find me?”

the both stop, each awkwardly gesturing the other to start talking. when they interrupt each other again, lena huffs a laugh and gestures for kara to finish.

“why did you leave?” kara asks, a sadness in her voice lena cant quite name.

“we both know i had to.” lena replies quietly.

“did someone say something?”

“dont patronize me by assuming that my actions depend on the opinions of other’s.” lena scoffs. “dont you see, kara? im not like you. im not like you or alex or brainy or nia. you all, you’re good. you make the right decisions. you save lives and dont hesitate to put others first. kara, i was ready to sacrifice national city—hell, the world— to get you back. If alex hadnt taken the tracking device from me...i dont think i would’ve made the decision to let you go.”

“lena.” kara stepped closer to her, taking one of lena’s hands gently in her own. “i know how it feels.”

“do you?”

“when we made that lead diffuser device to save the world from the daxamites. i made the choice to send mon-el away. i chose to poison the atmosphere and make this planet uninhabitable for him.”

“i dont understand. thats just you making the right choice again.”

kara chuckles softly, fidgeting with lena’s fingers as she stares down at their enjoined hands. “dont you remember? when edge put you on that plane with those chemicals to poison the water supply. i couldn’t let you go. i was fully prepared to let national city’s water be contaminated as the cost of saving you.”

“kara...” lena whispers, and kara looks up and meets her eyes.

“i need you to understand, lena.” kara cups lena’s jaw gently, so gently and pulls her in until their foreheads are touching. “if i was asked to sacrifice the world or you, i wouldnt choose to save the world. i would sacrifice anything, but not you. never you.”

lena feels a tear running down her cheek but makes no move to stop it.

“come back to national city.” kara pleads, voice barely above a whisper. “come back to me.”

lena reaches up and grips the hand that is still holding her cheek like a lifeline.

“always.”

#supergirl spoilers #supergirl cw #lena luthor #supercorp #supergirl #supercorp endgame #fanfiction #ficlet #not you/never you #kara danvers

[filipinoizukuu]

class 1-a hcs based on science and shit: part 1

u cant tell me any of these characters smell completely normal. or good in a way u can make candles out of them. this is my hc list and i am RUNNING with it. @emogaeness this 1's for u, my dude

Aoyama: one of the only 'normal' smelling ones. he defs uses french parfum but also he probably smells like heated metal and cheese all the time. Energy doesnt really have a smell til it interacts with gas so i think he probably just smells like however he wants to.

Mina: IM SORRY TO SAY BUT MISS MAAM IS STINKY AS HECK. mina is an acid producer and therefore smells acidic--and going by what we know of acid, she smells PUNGENT. dairy-like but also sour. BUT her body is probably evolved to be antacidic and she's a gymnast. after reading like, 2 research papers, gymansts chalk (magnesium carbonate) neutralizes acids (caus its 10.5 ph) and so i think while she does kinda smell, it wouldnt be AS bad even if she's training. its possible for her to wear perfume if she wanted, since usually they're around the 7 pH range.

Tsuyu: Oh. wet grass. and just. damp. she probably smells like marshlands or just nature in general, because thats part of camouflage. she probably also has an underlying sweet scent from venom? idk. on the normal she'd probably just smell neutral if a little musty.

Iida: ok i had to wiki this but i dont think he smells like much? he faintly smells like exhaust--but when he overuses his quirk and inevitably combusts whatever engines he uses, the chemical reaction creates sulfur which would make him smell like rotten eggs. otherwise he smells like orange juice (his choice of 'fuel'), sweat, and cologne.

Uraraka: I think she just smells like mochi lol. gravity doesnt really alter her body so i think ochako's normal--if a bit sweet bc she generally seems to like sweet stuff in canon

Ojiro: OK HES JUST GOT A WEIRD LUMP OF FLESH ON HIS BACK FOR A TAIL THO LIKE?? IDK HE SMELLS NORMAL?? maybe a bit like spray-on shampoo and deodorant, but that's it. does a third limb of pure muscle smell like anything? no? godspeed, mashirao, godspeed.

Kaminari: he smells like ozone. He's probably crazy static since he generates the electricity inside of him constantly and is canonically a terrific electricity conduit, so unlike aoyama he'd definitely smell like frying electricity. also. (minor manga spoilers) he bathes enough to be able to call midoriya stinky, so he definitely has basic hygiene. other than that i think he smells like sweaty leather bc of his hero costume and candy.

Kirishima: not quirk related but he probably just smells like sweat. and like, meat. maybe dirt. i love this boy but i'm also a sheeple bc i believe in the hc that he smells like axe body spray. and really good conditioner bc of how fucked up his hair would be by now if he wasn't taking very good care of it.

Kouda: smells like animals. like. bunnies and hamsters and birds and stuff. its not bad per se, but he definitely smells like he's constantly hanging out with the city's local rodent and avian population. other than that he probably just smells neutral/like nothing, since that's more approachable to the prey animals that he seems to favor.

Satou: baked goods and candy.

Shouji: I think Shouji is probably the most hygiene-conscious of all the kids in 1-A. Because of the amount of open/accessible body parts like eyes, nose, ears on his limbs--he probably takes very good care in showering and all that stuff to prevent random infections or just generally damaging any of his senses. Dude's chill--smells like mild soap and laundry detergent.

Jirou: Ah, not gonna lie she probably smells a bit like burnt electrical wires. She's a bit like Kaminari in terms of smell, except her's have that more 'metallic' and burning sharpness whenever she uses the stunning part of her quirk. Other than that... probably also leather because of her hero costume, or just like the inside of an instrument shop (wood, ivory, brass, etc.)

Sero: Packaging type. you know when you pull like, a large strip of tape and--? yeah? that. smells like tack. other than that, excellent hygiene! bergamot and pine or whatever.

Tokoyami: he smells like bird, but only faintly. dude mostly smells a little musty caus he probably never airs out his room. Dark shadow is described like "dark energy" which, similar to aoyama, kaminari, and jirou, probably makes the air around him smell different bc thats gas interacting with energy. Aside from that, he most likely smells neutral. (... maybe with a bit of leather and metal because thats just how his fashion probably works)

Todoroki: Sweat, but not like, a lot. He definitely doesn't smell bad after battles because steam kills bacteria like, fairly effectively, and would eliminate most foul odors. I think he'd smell like Expensive herbal soap or whatever most of the time. He doesn't seem like the type to be unhygienic.

Hagakure: ????? fuck dude she probably tries her best to smell like nothing, caus if her whole schtick is being invisible then its probably best if she just smelt like nothing. imagine being a villain and then promptly getting kicked in the nuts by a gust of wind that smells like strawberry peach.

Mineta: i cant explain it but just... warm grape juice. his... orbs. have oily/sticky like substances to act as adhesive and ill be damned before u tell me he doesn't smell like anything even remotely artificial-grape-flavoring adjacent. he also smells of like,, axe body spray but stronger.

Yaoyorozu: herbal tea on a normal day. most likely the digestive kind just because i think thats the most practical tea to have with a quirk like hers thats reliant on eating large quantities of food. other than that, i think she smells like basic weaponry-grade materials like iron, polished wood, copper, and gunpowder.

Bakugou: stinky boy. canonically, his hygiene's great but that's likely for a reason. he sweats a lot and excessively, and while his sweat is described as 'nitroglycerine-like' it doesn't mean it smells like caramel. the common description for nitroglycerine according to the brittanica encyclopedia is that it's toxic and has a 'sweet, burning taste'. the sweet scent is described as sharp at best--so while its totally okay if you wanna think of his sweat as caramel-like, i just wanted to clear up the misconception that thats what it factually is. ASSUMING his sweat still has a similar molecular makeup to nitroglycerine and has nitric dioxide, it would smell sickly sweet, if slightly neutral due to the nature of sweat itself being odorless when clean. other than that? bkg is definitely just a smelly, smelly boy. smells like sun and smoke and teenage body odor and burnt plastic.

Midoriya: SMELLY STINKY. deku sweats like, a lot. not only does ofa expend a ridiculous amount of energy and probably strains his muscles like crazy (forcing him to expel all that lactic acid in the form of sweat), but he also spends a lot of time just outside in general. science slightly aside, deku smells a lot like grass and dirt and just,,, the outdoors in general. he, like kaminari, smells very strongly of ozone (clean, chlorine-like) because of the sheer amount of energy output OfA has. Not expounding past the manga, Black Whip is described as a quirk that produces tendrils of pure black energy. This probably creates the same effect/smell as an area struck by lightning.

#oh boy tags here we go #mha headcanons #mha fluff #aoyama yuuga #ashido mina #asui tsuyu #iida tenya #uraraka ochako #ojiro mashirao #kaminari denki #kirishima eijirou #kouda kouji #shouji mezou #jirou kyouka #sero hanta #fumikage tokoyami #todoroki shouto #hagakure tooru #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #momo yaoyorozu #im TIRED

[sunsents]

Content 2/2 - F.W (M)

Empty Chapter II

IT'S. OVER. Holy shit, this took way longer than I expected it to be. Yes, it’s 20k mf words and what abt it. Don’t look at me like that. I warned ya’ll 🙄. Now, I definitely made up some words while writing this. Like a shelved corridor, the heck is a shelved corridor?!?! Please tell me it makes sense…please for the sake of my sanity. The smut is kinda tame so I’ll whip out the chains on the next one.

CROSS POSTED TO WATTPAD HERE

Summary —> Years later you find yourself face to face with the person that caused your ruin - yet this time, somethings different.

Pairing: fredweasley x fem!reader

Word count: 20k... honestly I completely get it if ya'll wanna sit this one out

Warnings: *deep breath* a poor attempt at humor / gingers / pining idiots / normal idiots / excessive cursing / fred weasley in slacks / alcohol consuming / very little angst (its mostly just overthinking) to fluff / minor character death / smut / oral, (fem) / fingering / cum play / sexual mf intercourse mfs / protected sex (dont be silly protect your willy) / dirty talk / sappy stuff

Rating: 18+

DON’T REPOST MY WORK

tagged: @opalsheart @ronsbadidea @uselessmoonlight @boxofbadaddiction @lovenonymously @sergeantkilowog @rudypankowisdaddy, @nobutfredweasleytho some names didn’t come up when I tried, so what do we get from this? I can't properly use Tumblr <3

Five Years Later, 2003

"____, will you just calm down." Aleyna lets go of the book box full of bathroom supplies and they clink together, to which you wince because these are your stuff and you’re in a far too dangerous position to lose more money.

"How can I calm down?!" you exclaim dramatically, tossing your wand on the nylon wrapped couch. "It's all Stacey's fault."

Aleyna quirks a brow, "Whose Stacey?"

"That one chick from Magical Catastrophes who always has lipstick on her teeth."

"I don't think her name is Stacey though."

You send Aleyna a look that screams, stop being reasonable at a time like this. No, this was when you overpaid your TV cable to air The Twilight Zone and drank cheap wine while cursing out your boss who cared about your well being. Hermione had become The Minister of Magic, and of course you were proud of her. Though, this didn't mean she could let you have time off work whenever something insignificant happened.

"Probably not," you mutter, opening your fridge and coming face to face with the painful truth that it’s empty, and you’re hungry. Your hand unintentionally flies to graze over your scar as you survey your options, a small pack of ketchup and left over chips. "Suits her though, feels good to say 'Goddamnit Stacey' when something goes wrong in my life."

Stacey deserves it because Stacey doesn’t refill the staplers on purpose.

Aleyna snorts, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. "What did Stacey ever do to you?" Then she wheels across your new apartment to retrieve more boxes from outside.

You’re grateful for the support of all your friends, but the pitying looks they give you whenever someone mentions the words house and fire is enough to fuel into your secret want of setting their houses on fire. It was an accident, you were just trying to make the delicious recipe Molly had sent you, ignoring the small fact that you didn't know how to properly use an oven. The savings you lost from your bleeding bank account were not worth pasta with tomato sauce on it.

Though, your new apartment is big, bigger than your first because after making a name for yourself as an Auror money came easily. Wide walls for a projector TV, long tail shaped couch standing firm on varnished wood floorings, and two bedrooms that have their own - kind of unnecessary - bathrooms. Not to mention the giant kitchen with an island, only rich people had islands, where you could make plenty of Italian recipes and not worry about burning the house down because Aleyna fool-proofed it for you.

The flat was at the top floor of the new bar she just built, and she was kind enough to let you start renting the place. The residents of Diagon Alley had been fighting for this apartment for months, and you were proud to have snagged it before anyone could even offer.

Gripping the last two boxes, Aleyna pushes the front door with her foot and navigates herself backwards through the other dozen boxes you had just tossed on the floor. "These are the last two, are you sure you don't need anymore help?" she offers.

You shake your head, "I can just use magic, not in the mood for pursuing the muggle lifestyle right now."

Aleyna frowns, this reaches her eyes though. "That bad huh."

Simply nodding, you don’t bother getting into an in depth rant about how a simple fire didn't mean you had trauma, and that you didn't need to stop working for a few weeks. Not that being an Auror was hard, your work days have been quite uneventful if you didn't count a few "Revalutioners" sticking a muggle's head in a toilet.

"I know what will cheer you up," Aleyna chimes, already clad in her pea coat and sneakers. "Dinner, and it's on me."

You couldn't possibly say no to free dinner, also making food for yourself was probably not a good idea right now. Stay clear of ovens, you reminded yourself.

After getting snug in your coat and fluffing your hair, you fall on step next to Aleyna as the two of you chat.

The London cold is brutal, shivering whomever until their noses turn red and making their hands feel itchy when sudden warmth overtook. You’re used to it, as is anyone in Diagon Alley. People are crowding the stores, chatting loudly and waving their wands around at stores to reserve whatever crappy gifts they were going to buy for their family's.

You hate the holidays, refusing to go back to America and visit your own family. Your mother couldn't cook, nor could your father. Though, that didn't stop her from insisting every year and giving you, your father and the Burke's food poisoning.

After three years of sitting through awkward family dinners where everyone ignored the fact that you were almost Head of Aurors, and focused on Eva's collapsing career of Healer only to praise her, you had about enough and stopped attending. It had been two years since then, they didn't bother to write. Your dad occasionally sent you money in a horrible christmas card with an even more horrible pun written in red glittery letters that also sang Run Run Rudolph.

"Ugh, everyone's crowding the joke shop aga- oh." Aleyna pauses. "I'm sorry."

She knows about your past with Fred Weasley, considering whenever you rant about work it ends up with you cursing him and Eva out. He had such a blame-able face, just like Stacey from Magical Catastrophes.

You give Aleyna a look. "You act like I'm not a grown woman who can't get over something that happened eight years ago." you say, shaking off the small snow particles that begin to lightly fall. "You should be like this with, I don't know...my relationship with Theo! We broke up last year, why aren't you fragile with him, hmmm?"

Aleyna claps your back in a friendly manner all the same. "I know I know, but come on. This is childhood trauma we're talking about."

"Now that I think about it, seeing Eva's coochie was traumatic." you grin, and Aleyna's jaw gape even if she heard the story hundreds of times before. Not that Eva's...modesty was bad per say, just not a pleasant sight seeing as you guys grew up together.

Other than that fact, you hadn't talked, even seen Fred after the war ended. Sure, you occasionally stole glances at their very successful joke shop, but there was no point in dwelling and trying to fix an already withered away friendship.

You had fixed your relationship with Ron and Harry, having had no choice since the three of you worked together. "You were right ____, we were assholes. You don't need to apologize." they had told you, and that was that. The two families and well, you did weekly dinners and enduring the two men for Ginny and Hermione got easier as days passed, finally ending up in a good friendship like old times. It was casual between you, easy when no one mentioned how abruptly your friendship ended. No one dared to either.

Also, Harry was your boss and him remembering that you called him a drama queen wouldn’t do you any good in your career.

People bump at your sides as the two of you squeeze your way towards Sacree Fleur. The end of Voldemort brought a new, reformative era in the Wizarding World. Diagon Alley expanded, new buildings were built and culture grew. You were happy to see that Ollivendar's Wand shop renewed, along with other crumbling buildings that needed desperate attention.

Bandits lessened, and the utter arrogance some parents had by not sending their children to get magical education faded, partly because there was nothing to fear, and partly because more job opportunities arose, like said, money came easily.

Fleur Weasley, your good friend and someone who had done the impossible and won over a Weasley brother - though she was gorgeous and possibly the sweetest person you've ever met, so really they were perfect for each other - had decided on a whim to open a french restaurant. Bill couldn't say no to his wife, the rough man you had met years prior was softened with age and the struggle of raising children.

Good wine, deliciously soft steak that melts in your mouth and warm atmosphere that makes five o-clock feel like midnight. It’s by far your favorite restaurant and you'd much rather spend your Christmas Eve curled up next to a warm candlelit dinner on a terrace.

"Bonjour!" an obscenely attractive woman, Fleur greets the two of you when the revolving glass doors are pushed, and you break out in a wide smile seeing your friend at the door. "____, Aleyna! Come here, give me a big hug!"

"Fleur! What are you doing here?"

With dopey smiles, the three of you embrace.The door closes on it's own, and you shiver unintentionally, just now realizing how cold it is. Usually the big marble fireplace keeps Sacree Fleur warm, but even that seemed not enough and the restaurant is adorned with small muggle heaters, floating up above the ceiling and adding to the red light of the candles.

"You'll see. Came at a most amazing time too, silly girl always knowing when to show. Saw all the juicy drama when you were younger..." Fleur continues to joke lightheartedly, pulling away and leading the two of you through occupied tables as she faux scolds. People are content, it feels warm and almost soft. Conversation seems to flow easily and the unease you feel for the Holiday melts. Almost.

You blech whenever someone brings up the line ‘love is in the air’. It never made sense to you, because love was simply a fairy tale that would wither away with time. Also, how could love simply float? Of course, unless you count Amortentia fumes - which yours always smelled like sweat and crushed hopes. So frankly, you prefer expensive Dior perfume in the air rather than love.

Though now you find yourself doubting whatever you engraved in that well protected head of yours, love is truly in the air at Sacree Fleur. All kinds of love, mothers lovingly wiping food off their children's mouths, happy newlyweds clinking their wine glasses together with nothing but adoration in their eyes, friends enjoying sharing a simple dinner far more than should be done.

"My family, they're upstairs having dinner. The kids like the ice cream here, Mr Fortescue provides it well."

"Family? Ginny and Hermione are here?" you ask, lazily climbing the steps to the second floor to reveal the more, private part of the restaurant. Now, instead of wooden chairs with red cushions attached at the middle, there stand long booths with comfortable blankets and pillows with empty, eerily clean tables - except one.

The long table near the terrace is much livelier today, people sitting there whom you consider your own family. The three post luster that hangs low from the ceiling is turned on - it’s the first time you’ve seen the glamorous glass orbs in action. Its light ricochets off of several bright orange heads, simply calling it a lamp does no justice. The hue is yellow, low and it reminds you of the Christmas Eve fantasy you planned.

Said orange heads turn at the noise of delight you let out. "Oh Fleur! This is gorge- oof-"

"Auntie ____!"

A pool of orange locks squish into your stomach, snug in the soft fabric of your coat and you let out a chuckle. You can’t help it, even if you would never admit, he’s your favorite by a small number that-

"Well well, if it isn't Teddy Lupin."

The small boy chuckles, hair matching your black coat like a chameleon sticking itself on a flower and absorbing the color of the petals. You ruffle Ted's hair as the orange fades, he’s delighted to see you, and so are you yet your attention is quickly cut off by several disembodied voices thrown your way.

Bill Weasley is standing up, wine glass on one hand while grinning wide. “Look who my dear wife brought in!” his tidy yet visible scar stretches when his face brightens, you remembered again that day, just how much love you have around you.

“Hey everyone, hope we’re not interrupting.” you apologize, wincing but Bill quickly shakes his head and pushes his chair back.

You waddle your way towards the marble table, Teddy following suit with his face still smushed in your coat. He grips you tighter and you have to peel his small little limbs off your legs.

Aleyna scoffs, arms crossing together as she surveys Ted. “The blatant favoritism!”

Teddy rushes on his little legs to jump in Aleyna’s arms, and only then are you able to acknowledge the other - a little less important - people in the room.

“Happy holidays!” echoes around your head as several people embrace you all at once, and you have to simply stand and awkwardly loop your arm around whoever you can get a hold of.

Once the formalities are over, Ginny throws her arm around your shoulder. The red tresses of her dress hike up her leg from her slightly bigger stomach, and you can see the small broom tattoo on her thigh that she loves to display like a trophy. “You should’ve told us you were coming! We would have saved you a seat.”

A round of yes’s resonate around the room, and you take a quick moment to scan who’s afternoon dinner you’ve just interrupted. Hermione, hand resting on her very pregnant belly, is smiling warmly at you, and Ron quickly shoots up from his seat and wipes his mouth to catch up to his wife. Harry follows in his friend's wake, his hair has a white streak at the front and you furrow your brows.

“Age catching up with you Potter?” you grin, rubbing Ginny’s back fondly before she separates from you and greets Aleyna. “Or is it the pregnancy?”

Harry scoffs, pulling you in his embrace for a quick friendly second. “Always the charmer ____. I’ll have you know I’m handling it wonderfully, right Gin’?”

Ginny pauses, “Erm, yeah…”

Harry’s face feigns faux disbelief, and it quickly melts as you bombard the man with questions about how Ginny’s first trimester is going. You mentally take note of asking Ron about Hermione’s as well, your two best friends are fucking pregnant. It’s almost too happy, and slowly the anxiety creeping up from your spine wraps around your throat, ready to suffocate you whenever.

It was always like this, the past ready to make it’s deathly move, because nothing is perfect. Happiness doesn’t come this easily.

And you’re right, because not only a minute after the warm embraces of your friends comes the voice of the person you’ve been dreading to see.

“____?”

And then, you’re suffocating.

He’s a man. Of that you’re sure, because now his muscles stretch well over his broad shoulders, maroon satin shirt loose on his frame, tight around his biceps - properly sculpted of course - portraying defined collarbones.

His eyes are somewhat duller, though the same glimmer of loveable mischief he always had is evident. It will never go away, even after all these years, yet it’s tamer. That mischief caused him quite the trouble back in school, and now it seems he knows when to act, when to speak and when to stay silent.

His silhouette catches you off guard, his features are sharper, much sharper than how much Harry has matured. His biceps bulge obscenely when he rests his - also generously sized you might add - hand on the table, and the table suddenly doesn’t seem that long.

His forearms, on display with his sleeves rolled up, glistens under the soft lighting of the balcony. Your eyes fall on his bracelet adorned right wrist, one of which in particular catching your attention.

He’s still wearing the bracelet you gave him.

His face, always glowing, wears a large expression displaying his set of perfect teeth. He’s awestruck, you think.

You watch him push his large body out of the small chair, and wow chest, is your only thought. Then further down and...god damn thighs. Burly thighs - probably very comfortable too - squeezed in black tight fit jeans, however he managed that you don’t know but it was nice to imagine.

He’s leaned back, casual as he strolls towards you in two large steps, his long sculpted legs never disappointing.

Fred Weasley is genetically designed to ruin you and your insides with just one look, and you’re ashamed to have realized it all too late because when he speaks again you swear you saw stars.

“Wow - you,” he breaths, walking towards you with slow, unsure steps. “Grew!”

You raise a brow, Aleyna snorts. Grew? His steps should be unsure, because you want him to take them back, sit his fine fit ass back on that chair and pretend he never saw you.

Because this wasn’t your plan for tonight, seeing him wasn’t in your checklist. You woke up today, thinking nothing but coffee and a stressful moving day ahead. Not of the boy - the man you’ve been in love with since childhood, the man you blamed for your problems as an excuse to hide the heart squeezing pain of loneliness, the man you hadn’t seen in so many years you forgot what his voice sounded like.

You could have never guessed, and now you want to go back. Somehow rewind the clock to this morning when you were safe of your tucked away feelings trying to bulge, safe in your own little circle. All your efforts of leaving your house just a little early so you wouldn’t run into Fred seems stupid now. Your strategy ran smoothly for five years, it could’ve ran for more.

You would have continued avoiding him like your life depended on it, and his stupid joke shop, and the way he stupidly looked at you everytime he saw you. You’re reminded again, because no matter how older he looks he’s still Fred, and he still looks at you the same.

“I mean - beautifully! Shit I - fuck.” he groans, and George claps his brother on the back with a chuckle. Wherever he came from, because you were so entranced by Fred that you didn’t see George standing tall next to his family.

“____.” George stops before you, hands in his pockets. it happens too quickly that you’re forced out of your panicked state.

You raise a brow, and only then - Fred’s out of view with George’s figure towering over you - are you able to find your voice. “George.”

He pulls you in his tight embrace, “How come you never visited!” he scolds, chest stretching back to bring you with. “You’d think she’d bloody say hello once in a while! Maybe drop by our shop after 5 years, you quack!”

“George - can’t,” you heave and your legs wobble when he sets you on the ground again. You clear your throat, grinning widely at your...friend?

It would be fair to call him an acquaintance, right? You don’t know where you stand with the twins but you have love for them. This is clear from the way you can’t stop smiling like a sappy idiot - or perhaps it’s because of how contagious George’s smile is. You thought they hated you, but the youngest looks anything but displeased. He gives you a squeeze again before throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“I thought - I dunno. I thought you guys didn’t wanna see me.”

George scoffs, “Because you told us off that one time in seventh year?” he laughs, arms folding and displaying a set of bulging biceps much like Fred’s. “Yeah mate, you’re not that intimi-“

“George Weasley, finish that sentence I dare you!”

His eyes grow wide. “Sorry Ma’am.”

Someone clears their throat.

It’s Frederick Weasley, probably here to beat you to death.

“Hey Fred.” you greet, mouth dry. Get a grip, you scold yourself.

Fred opens his arms, “Well well,” he laughs, pulling you into a hug with a polite smile. His cheeks tint red when you shuffle closer, you would have missed this but you’re a creep, and you can’t stop staring at the beautiful man before you. He displays his beautifully indented smile lines, as if he was saying look at me! I’m perfect and sexy, I also broke your heart that one time, too bad I had no idea!

And it’s true, Fred never knew about your feelings. You kept them well hidden and they ate away at your organs from the inside, there was no reason to blame him. The realization is probably what compels you to accept him with open arms and wrap them around his neck.

You feel him shiver, dismissing it quickly because of the cold.

He smells good. Way too good that you melt in his arms and let him engulf you in his dangerous warmth. Manly, musky cologne, mixing with hints of cigar smoke that lingers on only certain areas of his shirt. You recognize the scotch in his breath when he whispers how much he had missed you, and his nape still has that cinnamon deliciousness he would parade whenever he came out of the shower, you fought the urge to shiver yourself, and it’s not because of the cold either.

It’s dizzying, and before you can start a detailed essay about how good his muscles feel, firm and digging into all the right places, he pulls away.

The past hits you like a ton of fucking bricks and crumbles down the firm foundations of the walls you have been building for eight years. You feel guilty, have you learned nothing? The loud pounding of your heart is a warning, yelling at you to stop getting swept away. Yet you can’t control it, just like how you can never control your feelings.

“I missed you guys too.” you breath shakily, you have to make sure to keep your distance. For your own good, you tell yourself.

Teddy pulls away your attention, and you silently add buy Teddy an expensively dumb toy to your checklist.

He sticks to your leg and is adamant on staying there. “I grew taller.” he says, looking at you between his eyelashes. “He says I didn’t, but I know I did!”

You chuckle, ignoring how Fred looks at the boy with such a warm expression, ignoring the way your heart nearly catapults out your chest.

“Well, stand straight soldier!” you demand.

Ted immediately lets go of your leg and straightens, hand going to his forehead to salute you. A giggle escapes him when you bend on your knees and act like you have a measuring stick on your hand. “Oh yes yes, seven feet tall and growing.” voice mock deep, you nod sternly.

“By this rate - I’ll pass you! Hah!” Teddy stomps his little foot on the stone floor, little sneakers barely making a sound.

You stand up again and fold your arms, “Well, I grow too you know! You can never pass me.” smirking slyly, you egg him on to see how much he’ll endure before he demands a ride on your shoulders - because that’s how giants saw the earth he told you. You doubt giants compare to a twenty four year old woman with attachment issues

Ted stands on his toes, struggling to tug on your shirt and bring you down. “No, I don’t like this game anymore…”

“Alright alright.” and with that you pick him up and prop the little boy on your shoulders.

Ted happily kicks his feet on your chest and you groan. He’s supposed to be five, not a midget wrestler. “Easy buddy boy.”

“You’re amazing with him, little twerp barely lets me tie his shoes.”

Fred’s voice startles you, only now do you realize that he had been watching you and Teddy. Speaking of, Ted’s busying himself with your hair, small hands pulling and twisting locks and mumbling incoherently.

Ear tips slowly catching fire, you chuckle. “Buy him a broom at four and see how he handles it.”

Fred shakes his head, tongue poking at the side of his cheek and you remind yourself to breathe. “You spoil him then? They say the way to a five year old's heart is money.”

“Damn, I’ll drink to that.”

Nuff words said, everyone soon sits on their designated chairs, and you pull one from another table, being the uninvited one.

Aleyna isn’t slick, you knew she had something up her sleeve the moment she had offered to pay for dinner. Though, this is your fault. You let her without calculating whatever end result was waiting to catch you off guard and ruin your entire life plan to avoid Fred Weasley.

Being the snake she is, snake Aleyna enticed you with nice food, dragged you to Sacree Fleur and did her little snake magic.

Awkwardly angled next to your best friend, you chat with Harry and Hermione while they tell you what you missed from work. (Not that you missed much, actually nothing different seems to have happened other than boring paperwork and Mrs Newersman’s new hairdo.)

Swirling your wine in one hand, the reflection of Fred from the rim of the glass keeps distracting you.

He’s changed, not personality wise though there were tweaks. Nor looks, he’s an adult now and his boyish charm is gone, but it isn’t quite that.

You can’t put a finger on it either, and you watch him laugh, carefree with his sister.

He looks relaxed, or maybe it’s merely the wine. Is it - no, couldn’t be. He looks happy. Genuine happiness and adoration for whomever. Love in his eyes as he looks at - Ah. He’s looking at you.

You jerk your head away and tip your wine glass back to gulp down liquid courage - because you need it tonight.  This is bad, you tell yourself, kick you on the shin and punch to your gut bad. This can’t keep up or else you’re going to end up right back in that hollow pit of empty hope and gooey saturday lasagna.

“So, any plans for Christmas Eve ____?”

Ron’s timbre voice thankfully grips your arms and pulls you away from said hollow pit.

“Uhh what?” you cough awkwardly, setting your now empty wine glass down.

“Christmas Eve, what are you doing? Going back home?” Ron asks, raising a brow.

You can lie but something compels you not to, maybe it’s how warmly they always welcome you, how they’re welcoming you now with open arms and nice food.

You shake your head, answering honestly; “No actually, I’ll just celebrate with Jambo and Christmas movies.”

And that’s exactly how you’ve been spending your Christmas Eve these past few lonesome years. It wasn’t that lonely, you had Aleyna and people loved her bar, you’d drop by and count down with people you didn’t know, at least you got to kiss a random stranger.

“Jambo? He’s still alive?” Hermione chuckles.

“No no, this is Jambo Fitzwilliam the Second, who is also a cat but don’t you dare tell him that!” smiling, you joke lightheartedly to conceal the harsh news.

Your hand reaches to trace around your scar as you speak.You know their eyes follow, and you know they stare at it when you’re not looking. Teddy asked you one day, even after Ginny’s scolding but you happily told him your heroic story and how Bellatrix smelled like piss and rum.

Sighing, you set your hand on your lap.

Jambo had unfortunately passed away because apparently dogs couldn’t live two hundred years, which you were disappointed because clearly Dumbledore could. You had already grieved and mourned, it left you with the happiest memories of your precious dog and you were grateful.

“Poor kitty doesn’t know he’s adopted?” George frowns, banging his fist on the table.

You roll your eyes, “I’m sure he’s caught on by now, he’s three.”

“So, you’re spending Christmas Eve alone?” Fred asks, too suddenly and you flinch. He probably sees this, his effect on you.

You nod, and your friends gasp. Surely it wasn’t that big of a deal, or maybe it’s because of how normal it felt for you to be alone.

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Ginny says, hand shooting out to rub your arm.

“I’ve been trying to get her out for ages-“

“Aleyna, don’t.” you nudge her arm.

“No Aleyna, do!” Ginny protests. “You’re spending it with us and that’s that.”

“Wha-“

George throws up his finger to shush you, “No objections!” he declares fiercely. “We’re having a party at our flat and you both are coming!”

“Oh! Unless you and Blaise have any other plans.” Hermione’s quick to ask, she isn’t being slick though.

Aleyna chuckles, “We had dinner reservations but we can make it.”

Hermione grins, and you watch Aleyna pretend that she didn’t notice her friend ready to snoop in her relationship with an amused smile. Not that it matters - she and Blaise have that kind of love you hoped for as a young girl. There was truly no two other people so perfect for each other.

“How’s Blaise doing by the way?”

Aleyna takes a sip from her almost empty glass and tuts on the bitter after taste. “Amazing, actually. He just got promoted…”

Almost empty glasses are soon emptied bottles, and two steaks turn into a large brownie for the middle. You know that it’s a good meal, because as you stand outside in the midnight cold, arm around Aleyna, your legs wobble and your stomach aches from all the deliciousness you’ve consumed. More like inhaled, you only realized how hungry you were until the second steak arrived.

“Thank you so much you guys!” you wave your arm, overly theatrical, forgetting about what a day you’ve had.

Though, the thoughts catch up as you lay awake in bed.

It had gone by too quickly, and your heart is still beating louder than any chirping of the bugs outside. Your bedroom lacks furnishing, it only adds to your wild imagination. Your mind paints pictures on the blank walls as your eyes dart around, Fred didn’t look in your direction once that night.

Or maybe he did, only you didn’t see.

It’s strange, whenever you turned your gaze his way, he seemed to be busying himself with whatever, whether it be his fork or napkin. How interesting can a damn napkin be? Hopefully not any lesser than you.

And are you just going to ignore that goddamned bracelet? The one you carefully sculpted with beads in such a way that you were sure Fred would suspect at least a drop of your raging crush. He’s still wearing it, that piece of string and glass - the symbol of your love and effort - survived through a war.

Are you reading into things? Surely not, he greeted you as anyone else would. Or maybe he remembered - you don’t dare think of that night.

How can they act so normally, so brazen after everything? It’s been almost six years since you saw them, have they got nothing to say to you? Maybe an apology?

Frustrated, you turn to your side and force your eyes shut.

————————

When night bleeds into morning, every cat has a tendency to quip over to their owners on their cushioned paws - which makes no noise but simple claw scratchings on the floor.

Jambo’s no different.

So, you’d imagine the poor creature's shock when he finds your bedroom empty. If he’d bothered to check, you’re seated on your island stool, pen and parchment in hand and mug of hot coffee (instant given the circumstance) in the other.

You hung your new curtains this morning, and were making use of them by shutting them halfway on the hooks while your window stood half open. You watch the snow flurry outside and gulp. If this week was to go horribly wrong... at least you have nice curtains waiting for you at your ritzy new apartment.

Jambo wraps his tail around your dangling ankle like he always does and you barely hum in acknowledgement. He’s purring, and it brings you comfort even if it’s for a small moment. But your question still remains unanswered, What would a five year old boy want for christmas?

It had been exactly two days since Ginny invited you to spend Christmas Eve together, and you busied yourself with buying them gifts - a tradition you hated because 1. coming up with gift ideas is infuriatingly hard. It’s way too time consuming, nit picking every single personality and deciding what they’ll like and what they’ll pretend to like. Pretend like they’re going to use it, and then never touch it until that one very specific occasion.

Maybe it’s excessive, but you actually like these people. They somehow give you - a sad, lonely sewer rat that’d been a neglected child - joy.

And 2. you feel like those people you make fun of every Christmas. Though, somewhere deep in your heart, you know you enjoy being those people. You would never admit it though.

What? You actually relish in the idea that you belong to a group, and that said group causes you to carry out cliche holiday traditions?

Absolute blasphemy.

Finally deciding, you leave your apartment in warm but cher clothing. It isn’t as crowded this morning - or maybe it’s because it’s seven forty in the crack of fucking dawn. Though, with the amount of caffeine you’ve consumed, it feels like ten.

Would they even be open, you ask yourself, jogging quickly about the streets on your heels to avoid the cold. It’s Christmas, they have to be.

Of course your logic sucks.

Shivering, you round the corner tea shop and fasten your pace. Ass freezing, lip tucked in between your teeth, you realize you have underestimated the morning London cold.

Soon, thankfully, the giant head of George(?) you assume, comes into view. The animatronic is motionless, big porcelain eyes closed and displaying sinister gaping holes. You shiver, and not because of the cold either.

Keeping your eyes low on your feet, you push the glass doors of the shop open. You don’t bother to check the inside from the generous glass displays, it’s way too cold and you don’t want to spend any more time outside with the giant George doll.

A bell rings, a little jingle up above that puts a smile on your face. Jambo’s collar jingled like that whenever he got excited, whether it be a pesky squirrel ready to bum off your house food, or maybe a friendly one showing its face to piss off the house dog.

You sigh, and only then notice the delicious scent of fresh coffee roast. Invading through your nostrils and turning you into a drunkard, and you can’t help but gravitate towards-

Woah, you’ve had your coffee today.

“Who's here so early, couldn’t a man enjoy breakfa-”

You smile apologetically, it’s only natural that Fred just woke up. He isn’t a morning person, after years of knowing him you found out one way or another. In your case, he was mean to you and that’s when it clicked. Fred doesn’t like the early hours of morning, where his hair isn’t as tame and his lips feel like they’re about to pop. You find it charming.

“____?”, the man of the hour comes into view, standing at the top of the spiral staircase. The first step is a rung, rolling on the hinges of the wall's edges. The staircase rattles when Fred steps down, and you quickly jump forward in panic.

Mug in one hand, his fingers rake through his mussed morning hair then settles on the checkout counter. “Morning,” He smiles, and those dang smile lines greets you, as if they’re mocking you again.

“Morning, I know it’s early and-”

“It’s okay, have you had breakfast yet?”

Taken aback, you nod. Disappointment flashes through his face, and before you can analyze he straightens. Taking a sip of his coffee and humming, he fixes his pyjama bottoms. Red and checkered, loosely hanging from his hip and giving you a teasing view of his lower abdomen. “Can I get you anything?” he asks again, adamant on offering you something.

You shake your head no and you watch his face fall. Merlin, you would have come starving if it meant having breakfast with him. The view before you is enough to fulfill your darkest fantasies, and this is enough. Because you know that this is all you could get. His friendship.

But is it though? Is it truly enough? Will it ever be enough?

The questions that linger around your head have an answer that you wouldn’t dare set free. Everything you’re doing right now is wrong, how you’re standing in front of him, letting his delicious scent compel you further into him.

He smells almost alluring - he always does - less piquant than yesterday. Probably the after taste of neglecting a shower, yet his natural fragrance is just as charming. You remember those mornings at the Burrow when Fred stumbled down the stairs, sun early and bright, woken up just like himself. He smelled ama-

Woah, down girl.

Fred clears his throat, and only then do you realize how long it has been since you spoke.

“I need to buy something.” you blurt. Fuck, this couldn't get more embarrassing. “For Ted, his gift.” You finish lamely.

“Ah,” Fred chuckles, giving you a quick lookover. You flush. “You have come to the right place.”

It’s true, the shop is truly...something. A gateway to heaven for anyone twelve or younger. Fascinated, you take your time to linger your eyes on every little nook and cranny that catches your eye.

The shop feels much tamer without the telltale rowdy crowd, it’s almost comforting. You can really see a piece of each twin on each display, Fred’s being the Deflagration Deluxe. ‘A deluxe selection of Weasleys’ Wild-Fire Whiz-Bangs’ read on the big cardboard. You chuckle, he always had a bag full of them that he carried around religiously.

“Those!” he exclaims, scurrying over to the display, “New and improved by yours truly.”

You chuckle, and Fred breaks out into a smile. “Here, I’ll show you around.” he mutters, before you can utter a protest, he takes your hand in his and drags you to a shelved corridor. “This is his favorite section, explosives and quidditch.”

You smile as you scan the heaps of colorful products lining the walls, all engraved with the shop's signature logo. Fingers coming out to touch a few, you subconsciencly swing your encased hands together. “These are real neat.”

Fred smirks, though his palms feel hotter than usual, “Not so much when he’s blowing up the bloody flat.”

You chuckle softly, eyes fluttering to imagine little Ted shaking up a pair of fireworks, unknowingly setting them off and resulting in a giant black mark on the ceiling. Because only that explains the small black stains on the walls of the shop.

“See anything you like?” Fred offers, almost in a whisper.

“No I,” you turn back to him, and something flashes between the two of you. “I’m still…looking.”

The air feels tense, warm, affecting your body. Your breath catches in your throat, Fred’s eyes bore into yours with such intensity that you don’t know what to do. Even your breathing feels on edge.

He moves closer to you and your heart flutters. His exhales hit your ear, only a breadth away from your neck and you flinch. Chills lift up the hair on your arms, “No...erm.” you mutter.

“Alright.” he says softly.

His eyes are hooded, displaying a perfectly long set of eyelashes.

How, is the question. They’re long and thick, and you’re jealous. Yes, you might have ruined yours with your curler but still, if you were born with eyelashes like that you wouldn’t even need a blasted curler.

“What are you thinking ‘bout.” he whispers, long digit lifting to stroke your cheek. So soft that you barely feel it, before he trails it up your cheekbones, to the panes of your face.

The same alarms blast in your ears, and you can’t ignore them this time. It isn’t that you don’t like this, on the contrary you’re ready to jump him.

“Eva!”

Fred takes a step back, face falling. “What?”

You shake off whatever just happened seconds ago and focus on reality. “Gosh, I forgot to ask.” you exclaim, over excited but at what cost. “How is she doing? Is she up there in the flat?”

Fred winces. “Actually-”

“I’m guessing you guys moved in together, after all those years you know. Don’t tell me you guys got marr-”

“____!” he takes a deep breath, “We broke up a few years ago.”

You freeze. “What?”

They broke up? “Why, oh Fred-”

Fred shushes you with a finger. Embarrassed, warmth spreads through you like a tidal wave. “I fell out of love, but it felt nice to have someone around, you know?”

You don’t say anything, yes you know but his loneliness and yours is much too different.

Growing up, Fred had the support of his family, he always had someone there. You knew it was bad to dismiss him like this, but the aching in your heart wasn’t going to allow him to speak like that. He always had someone affirming that it would be okay, someone to pat his back whenever he scored a goal through a hoop, whenever he got a good grade or did a cool trick with his broom. He still had them, even if he was at his worst. He had endless support. You didn’t.

It wasn’t easy after the war, living alone with nothing but the collar of Jambo gripped tightly in your hands. He had died shortly after Voldemort fell, and you had to hang onto the last piece he left until your agony died down. That was your only support.

Ginny, Hermione and Aleyna were there of course, but everyone's way of coping is different, and they didn’t understand yours nor each other’s. It’s worse to try and forget, run away from that fear because it would always catch up with you, and you found that the best way is to sit and feel.

But that doesn't mean your friends weren’t any less supportive. The after effects of the war were way more harsh on you than you let on, you were stuck on autopilot - a painful loop that made your life feel worthless. Work, money, survival - the three main aspects occupying your mind at all times. You didn’t have the love and attention to give to friends or a relationship (maybe that’s why it never worked out) but soon, Ginny and Hermione had reached out to you.

It was a simple letter delivered by their family owl Nebula - a descendant of poor old Errol. You remember tears pooling in your eyes when they told you how much they missed you, they gave meaning to your life. It was no longer the painful loop, they invited you over for dinner, visited every other day after hooking up your house Floo Network, you were always a welcomed guest in their homes.

They made you realize that friendship didn’t need much energy nor hard effort, just being there for each other was enough. Love for someone came naturally, and you didn’t need to extract some of your own self-love to give to others. They were two different things.

Skimming past that, you watch Fred show you three different options of Make Your Own Fireworks kits. You smile solemnly, accept a random one and quietly follow him to the checkup counter.

“So.” he starts, wrapping the product with the paper design you picked. “How about you, anyone special?”

Drumming your fingers on the counter, you shrug. “I dated Theo Nott for a year, I knew nothing would come out of it but like you said, nice to have someone.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Nott? Really?” he frowns. “Can’t believe that tosser managed to-”

You snort, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Shrugging, Fred hands you the package. “Nothing, it’s just that -” he pauses and his eyes look at you like you should know what he’s talking about. As if the two of you have some sort of telepathic connection, Fred was always like this.

He would look at you like you understood a word you said, even though he’s been silent for the past minute or so. He always struggled to express himself, and you’re sad to see that this habit followed him into adulthood.

Nonetheless, you smile. “Just that what?”

“Nevermind,” he sighs. “That’ll be twenty five galleons.”

“Twenty what?” Your eyes widen. “You heartless man!”

Fred gapes at you, struggling to keep a straight face.

“Twenty five, to your oldest pal? Twenty and a stick of gum.”

Fred pretends to think. “How about you keep the gum and give me twenty four.”

“Twenty two.” you narrow your eyes, leaning forward on the counter. “Oh come on, it’s Christmas!”

Fred scoffs,“I am giving you the holiday discount!”

Grumbling, you reluctantly stick your hand in your purse and take out your wallet. “I won’t forget this. You’re in my book.”

Fred gasped dramatically, “Not the book!” he exclaims, “Twenty two then, please for the love of merlin not the book.”

You lift your chin, head tilting to the side to survey him mockingly. “Twenty two it is, you won’t get away so easily next time.”

The two of you giggling, you pay him the money and leave a few sickles. “For the great service.” you say, him pretend-blushing at your words and tucking a strand of his shoulder length hair behind his ear.

He speaks after some time, the laughter has died down and left it’s comforting after taste. “I missed you ____, why didn’t you visit?”

That turns the after taste into pure panic.

How can he ask that when the answer is so obvious. Fred’s still cruel it seems, he doesn’t bat an eyelash as he speaks. He knows the reason.

“Oh you know,” you start after some time, “Work and stuff.” you lie, and fight the urge to cringe at your words.

Though Fred doesn’t buy it, he doesn’t push it either. He simply nods, looking down at the checkout counter. You’re glad he’s avoiding your gaze, because it makes your departure much easier. “See you at the party Fred, thanks for the...uh. Yeah.” you awkwardly lift your bag up and give him a wave before pushing yourself outside. You can finally breathe.

——————

You look good.

Or, at least you think you do.

Blaise was arriving in exactly seven minutes and you barely just put on your dress. You’re sure of this because Blaise is always on time, he even has an unnecessarily expensive watch on his right hand that he obsessively likes to check. At least Aleyna’s into it, frantically trying to strap her heels, she’s wriggling herself towards the front door to somehow track her lover. You don’t know how love works, maybe they can smell each other from a mile away or something.

Shaking your head, you fluff your hair and wipe a hand across your under eye after wetting it with your tongue. You think Aleyna calls for you, you’re not sure because you’re too occupied trying to decide if you’re going to wear lipstick.

“Hey,” you walk out of your bathroom door and scurry towards her, “should I?”

Aleyna raises a brow. You scoff, “Stop doing that, you know I can’t raise mine individually.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

“I’m about to make it your problem too if you don’t help me.”

As reflex, you roll your eyes. You only do this because you know it reminds Aleyna of that one chick from Blaise’s workplace - she knows no boundaries, apparently. It’s a shitty move, but it’s a shitty world.

Aleyna carefully inspects the two products you hold tightly between your hands. A simple shimmery gloss and a nude, almost dark red lipstick you stole - borrowed - from her. “Depends, who are you smooching?”

Throwing her an incredulous look, you hold out the two products on your palms. “I’m not smooching anyone.”

Unless of course Fred Weasley asks, if he does you would pull out makeup wipes from thin air and jump into his arms with naked lips ready to be kissed. Though, that’s only a fantasy and Fred is emotionally unavailable...scratch that, you are.

You’re not sure how tonight is going to end, and you can’t help but be aware of that looming clump of anxiety, clutching on your chest and refusing to let go until you're assured that it’s going to be fine.

“The gloss, just in case.” Aleyna stops your train of thought before it trashes off its tracks and crashes somewhere in Fred McDreamy land.

You nod, making no further inquiries and getting yourself ready as best as you can. Fixing your bodice and giving your scar a quick look, you finally hear the doorbell ring after a few long minutes, followed by Blaise’s deep voice greeting his girlfriend. You give the couple a few seconds to smooch - if you will, before walking back to the living room.

Blaise grins when he sees you, he’s wearing a sleek black suit with its first two collar buttons undone - you expect no less class from him.

“Happy Christmas!” you chime, pulling him into a hug and squeezing him tight just enough so you can whisper in his ear. “I hope you picked out the second ring, Zabini.”

Blaise swallows thickly before laughing, you know this because you physically feel him start to sweat. “I swear I did, don’t worry I have a plan.” he winks after letting go.

“I knew you were going to say that,” he loops an arm around Aleyna’s waist and pulls her by his side. “Only the best for my girl.”

Aleyna gives you both questioning looks.

You quickly clear your throat, “Anyways, let’s go before the serenading and the rose petals start.”

The three of you finally leave, the walk down your apartment building feels way too short, and the moment you exit you’re hit with the wonderfully chilly Christmas air.

For a moment, you forget where you’re going.

Lights are hung up everywhere, across shops, tangled through trees and some floating in the air. You can’t see the night sky, Diagon Alley has one of its own, adorned with radiant moons and luminous stars just bright enough for people to navigate themselves through crowds with zero accidents. It feels breathtakingly overwhelming.

Glass ornaments are charmed to fly across, a special show prepared by Madame Mulkin, and Mr. Eyelop tuned in by letting out a few snow owls rest around random trees to add to the warm atmosphere. There’s flavour wafting around the air, you inhale again to identify it better.

Speeding your way through - it hits you, gingerbread and chocolate.

You clutch your bag towards your chest, suddenly you feel disgustingly sappy. Though, you are in public so you decide to shake off that small warmth threatening your heart and continue walking towards Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes.

The walk towards the shop feels too short again, you almost check your watch to see if Hermione’s playing with the time turner again.

You almost turn on your heel, dump the bundle of presents you’ve bought on their front door and leave. You can, in theory, you’ve separated from Aleyna and Blaise midway through and you can just run and never look back.

Tough luck, when you walk through the generously decorated shop and up the stairs, you’re disappointed to see their flat door wide open.

You stare at it, it feels too inviting. Frank Sinatra blares through the walls, you can smell hints of incense, trailing through your nose and tickling you, causing you to sneeze. You were always sensitive towards smells, and it never bothered you until now.

“Bless you!” George Weasley appears, rounding a corridor and greeting you with open arms into his neat dress shirt. He hugs you like you’re family, and if you weren’t holding a sack like Santa Clause with his your jolly ass hanging on by the mere piece of fabric of your dress you would have hugged back.

“Thanks, Happy Christmas George.” you smile when he takes the sack from your hands and weighs it with raised brows.

“You didn’t have to buy anything ____!” he pats your shoulder, hand trailing to your lower back to navigate you inside. “We are the gift givers, you’re our guest.”

You chuckle, walking through the long entrance corridor, “Of course I’m getting gifts you quack.”

George scoffs, “Using my words against me now are we?”

When you gaze up at the famous joke shop as a little civilian in the streets of Diagon Alley, you don’t expect to catch the sight of a flat this large. You knew it was sizable since two grown men somehow fit and live there, but you underestimated just how successful Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was.

The floors are wood, clean with even several shoes stepping around, chattering with wine glasses in their wobbly hands. A bulletin board hangs next to a quidditch rack filled with different kinds of equipment - old and new.

Too entranced by the cozy interior, you don’t bother stealing glances at the bulletin board. The kitchen and living room are connected, yet they still somehow feel like completely different rooms. The den is lit up by a brick fireplace, lightly crackling and making the atmosphere all the more comfortable. The soft fur (faux you hoped, though Mr Weasley did have a muggle hunting rifle phase which you thoroughly discouraged) carpet tickles your ankles and you have to hold onto George’s arm for support

“Bevvy?” he offers you, holding out a pint beer glass and you shake your head, admiring the apartment further.

Most couches are leather yet they still look comfortable, the kitchen is big but not obnoxiously so, you can hear the clinking of a foosball table - commotion makes sense in their apartment - the wide living space narrows through a corridor, leading to what you assume must be bedrooms.

You’re glad Fred and Eva broke up, because you decide then and there that you’re going to visit the twins everyday despite your history, just to step into this apartment again.

“____!”

Angelina’s sweet voice causes your unease to vanish in an instant and you crush her in a tight hug.

“Merry Christmas!” you smile, looping an arm around her shoulder and letting her guide you through the flat. “You changed your hair!”

Angelina nudges you with her hip, “Thank merlin you noticed, George is clueless.”

“Oh? George? You never told me - Hey Cho!”

You’re cut off by several familiar faces greeting you and telling you to make yourself comfortable. And you do, right next to Hermione and Ginny, two pregnant and fierce women that keep bickering with their husbands because of their weird cravings.

“I’m with you on this one Gin’!” you snort, eyeing Harry. You have a wine glass in one hand and the power you hold makes you feel too confident. “If the woman wants sausages marinated with toothpaste, she’s getting sausages marinated with toothpaste!”

Harry grumbles, “Will you please stop fueling this!” he protests, downing his drink and banging this on the table. “Look sweetheart, you wanted onions and mustard just a second ago so I got you ‘em, what made you change your mind?”

Ginny bangs her fist on the coffee table, in addition to Harry’s outburst. It seemed everyone was banging stuff on tables, so you do too.

“You think I know? Sod off or get me my toothpaste!” Ginny yells, banging another fist after you.

Harry kneels down next to the foot of the couch and holds his wife’s hand, gently massaging her knuckles. “We can’t get you toothpaste,” he says calmly.

“Why!” says Ginny, banging another fist.

“I think you know why,” says Harry.

“Stop damaging my property.” says George, materializing out of thin air.

You feel bad for Harry, you truly do but it only lasts for a second because this is even more entertaining than watching Aunt Muriel try to play foosball while shouting ‘Come at me you haired back marys!’

You’re enjoying yourself, the buzz, the warmth, the scent of fire. It’s comfortable and not at all like a party. It’s as if you’re visiting your friends for thanksgiving, homely and welcoming.

Though, the first crack forms when you see Fred, eyeing you from the small bar of their kitchen.

Dressed in navy slacks and a red, turtleneck sweater, he leans against the counter with a glass of Firewhiskey clutched on his big hand. He swirls it as his lips twitch, keeping his gaze set on you. His hair falls on his eyes, mostly pushed back but how strong hair gel can really be?

He looks good, way too good for a party. But it’s not the outfit, it's his entire presence. The way he holds himself, acts, speaks - shit, it’s attractive. He can do anything and he’ll always have that charismatic charm, it makes you feel envious, not to mention incredibly horny.

It’s Christmas, it’s a sacred holiday. You can’t let Fred sexy Weasley get to you, no matter how unapproachable and out of your league he looks.

You’re the bigger person - apparently - and you decide to greet him first.

You don’t know what compels you to do this, but it must be quite a strong force because you feel yourself start to quiver when you abandon your place on the couch. It’s so strong that your wobbly legs carry you while you push through tipsy friends and hold you up all the way to the kitchen area.

“Merry Christmas.” you croak, pulling him in a quick hug which he returns happily.

“Merry Christmas yourself.”  he smiles, gaze drifting lower to your dress only for a second before he swallows.

His signature cologne that you’ve engraved deep in your head this past week bursts out again. You smile softly, relishing in him.

“You look,” he seems to be giving much more thought on whatever he’s about to say, he settles on; “Beautiful, you’re, uh - the dress.” he finishes lamely.

“Oh,” your face falls. The dress is beautiful, not you. Of course. “Thank you, I would say you don’t look too bad yourself but that would be a lie.”

Fred raises a brow, putting his wine glass on the bar with a clink before slowly turning on his heel. “Aw, cheers love.” he says casually, “Wore it for you,”

You raise both your brows, “Is that so?” you fight a grin.

“This little number is my lucky charm.” he smirks, pulling on his shirt. “Made women fall at my feet back in the day, maybe you will too.” he finishes, more bashfully than before. His cheeks are tinted pink and, now, for the first time, you feel clueless.

Your heart stutters when you speak, “Trying to butter me up Frederick?” you say shly, nudging the tip of his shoe with yours.

Fred winks. “And what if I am?” he suddenly straightens, arms folding together. His head bows as he continues with a smile, “I’m joking, got this a week ago for the party.”

You fight the urge to smile, “Ah, so not the chick magnet.”

“Well,” Fred laughs, “It’s still very wolfish.”

“Whatever you say, big ole pussy cat.” you pat him on the shoulder.

Fred scoffs good naturally, “Ah, you hurt my pride ____.”

When you don’t say anything, his gaze falls on you. He takes the time to look at you, really take you in and it makes your efforts feel appreciated for once. He takes a deep breath, head careening left for a moment.

“It’s not just the dress.” he rubs the back of his neck, eyes falling on your scar. “You really are beautiful.”

Your hand immediately flies to your brow, tracing a finger down the gash. It’s not as noticeable anymore and your hair grew back - thankfully - but the knowledge that it’s still there, parading itself to everyone makes you feel much more self conscious than you should.

Fred’s hand closes over yours and you freeze. “You might not think so, but not only is your scar a wicked bedtime story, it’s very attractive.”

Your ears feel hot, “You think I’m attractive?”

It’s a nice compliment - especially when it comes from a man like Fred.

“Do I think you’re,” he gasps, giving you an incredulous look. “Of course you’re - ! I mean you can’t be asking me that - are you, gah!”

A chuckle bubbles from your throat. It’s quite amusing watching Fred Weasley struggling to speak, clearly embarrassed. The knowledge that you made him this way, you were sleeping like a baby tonight that’s for sure.

“Look, ____. I actually wanted to tell you something really important.” he fidgets with his cuffs.

You furrow your brows, “Of course, what is it?”

“I used to, well I think I still do because it never truly went away but - okay, this is harder than I thought.”

You chuckle nervously. “Fred, you’re freaking me out here.”

You hear him mutter something along the likes of what’s wrong with me, until he speaks again.

“What I meant to say was, I wan-“

“Oh my god, ____, Fred!”

When you left your apartment a few days ago, your mind didn’t calculate the outcomes of meeting Fred Weasley.

The impact is so strong that it causes your past to - not flash, because this is painful - slowly start playing before your eyes, like a play you have to sit through because the seats were expensive, and the star of the show, the star of your own life is standing right in front of you.

She’s wearing a gorgeous, gold cocktail dress. The costume design is delicate, it’s the type of dress you flutter your fingers in (the fabric is ticklish and soft, you just had to touch it) before moving onto the next. The rack is full of other suitable options, because you know you can never wear a dress like that.

But Eva can. She was always gorgeous, you couldn’t compare.

Fred’s eyes are wide, the way he’s tugging on your dress makes worry wash over you. “Eva? Erm - who invited you?” His words sound more bitter than he intends them to, or at least you think so.

“Oh, is that how you treat guests around here?” she fucking giggles, playfully slapping his shoulder.

You can’t tell if she’s purposely ignoring you - you’re standing right there - or just forgot your existence after seeing Fred in those pants because sweet merciful heavens.

Fred shifts uncomfortably, “Right sorry well, Merry Christmas!” he’s back to normal, addressing her as he addresses anyone else you can’t help but smirk.

Of course, you immediately jump on this opportunity. Eva may have ruined most of your childhood, she may currently look gorgeous - mockingly so, but you’re not kids anymore. No matter how insignificant you feel, you still have your pride to protect.

“Merry Christmas,” you add, jumping forward. “How long has it been?”

Eva’s expression turns sour, though she conceals it quickly. “____! Oh I love your dress.”

She doesn’t wish you a merry christmas.

“Happy holidays Freddie! Where can a girl get a drink around here?” she squeaks? You’re not sure, her voice is too sweet and you don’t know how to act.

Fred grins, “Right there,” he points to a corner far away from the kitchen. “Lee’s in charge of drinks, I’m sure he can hook you up with something.”

Eva ponders, pausing for a beat. She’s expectantly staring at Fred, though when he shows no intention of accompanying her she gives you a menacing look and leaves.

You didn’t expect a big reunion because you saw Eva a few months ago at the hospital, you had sprained an ankle while training with Ron, and she tried to heal you before the Head Healer cut in and told her to take a walk.

Fred’s weight relaxes as soon as Eva’s out of view, it doesn’t take much to know something happened between the two - it wasn’t a harmless breakup like Fred had told you. You don’t push it though, if he wants to tell you he will.

“Well that was,” you say, and he hums in response, swirling his drink in one hand. You watch the gold hue with him for a moment. “Interesting.”

He snorts, “She drops by every Friday to give me green apples. I hate green apples.”

“How long did you guys date?” you can’t help the words that tumble out of your lips.

He stares at you for a moment, you swear his lip almost twitch in a smile before he clears his throat. “Three years, I thought I loved her for a year.”

“Well what changed your mind?”

Fred looks at you like you just asked the dumbest question a joke shop owner could hear. “You, daft idiot, you did.”

“Wha-” you stammer. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Fred groans. “I need a drink.” and with that, he leaves towards where Eva previously walked on her precious Chanel heels. Leaves you alone.

It wasn’t like you called the man's family a disgrace and cursed his entire bloodline. Confused, you decide that maybe you need a drink as well to survive this night.

Everyone you had talked to so far ended with a disagreement, except George because he probably felt bad for you and your huge red gift sack. Embarrassment fills your cheeks as you walk towards the beverage table, you shouldn’t have come tonight.

The cherry on top gets dropped on the shit sundae when Eva Burke bumps into your shoulder and causes you to spill your drink.

“Oops! Babe I’m so sorry,” She pulls a red cloth from the glass table filled with different types of intoxications and rubs it on the fabric of your dress, further ruining it.

Embarrassment turns into frustration, this turns into pure anger. You see red.

You snatch the cloth from her hands and lightly push her forward, Eva dramatically - and very theatrically - falls on the ground with a yelp.

“Oh get up!” you hiss, throwing the cloth on the ground.

Eva scrambles to her feet, holding her right ankle with dainty, perfectly manicured hands. “Oh, now we’re turning to violence are we? Some things never change.”

You let out a frustrated grumble, stumping your heel on the ground. “I really don’t have time for this Eva.”

“We’re just talking babe, I don’t understand why you’re so upset over this.”

“I’m not upset, I’m tired.” you sigh.

Suddenly with her magically healed ankle she trudges forward. “Is it the dress?” she pouts, bending down to eye the splotch on your chest. “I can pay for it, say...two sickles?”

Your eyes narrow, “How about this, you show me how your career is going and I’ll decide if you can afford a wash.”

Eva barks out a laugh, “How about this, I’ll show you a family picture album.”

Gasping, you hold back the urge to slap her. You never expected Eva to stoop this low, and you know you shouldn’t be upset over it but it hurts. It hurts how easily she can use your family against you with no remorse.

Beyond pissed, insulted and done with tonight, you pull out your wand and get ready to apparate. This time it’s not to run away, nor do you feel like a coward. You feel tired, using your palms to press into your temple and relieve your throbbing headache.

Eva grips your wand and tries to pull you forward with failed force. “Let’s get this straight, Fred’s not interested in you.”

“And you think he’s interested in you?” you laugh, “You broke up remember?

Eva flings her long hair back, “And I’m gonna get him back. No one breaks up with me.”

“So, you're still a narcissistic bitch.” you smile.

“And you’re still pathetically clinging onto whatever I touch.” She takes a step forward, and it hits you then and there that you aren’t going home sooner or later. “Wanna know why we broke up?”

You hold your breath, her perfume is too sweet and you can’t process her words.

“He caught me cheating.” she smirks. “And he still begged me to stay, after all that.”

Your nostrils flare, and you’re about ready to punch her. You’ve never seen someone so prideful, so proud to have done something so obaminable. But it doesn’t surprise you, you pity her.

“Some loser from the bank.” she mockingly wipes a nonexistent tear with her jeweled wrist. “See, that’s the difference between me and you ____. “

You almost scream bloody murder. “Oh do enlighten me.” Your voice is weirdly high pitched but you don’t seem to care.

“He begged me, not you. He’ll never want you. You’ll always end up with the leftovers ____, accept that.” she hisses, taking another step forward.

You don’t know what you’ve done to the woman standing before you with nothing but red fire in her eyes, she looks ready to pull out your hair follicle by follicle, yet it makes you smirk. With a shit eating grin on your face, it hits you. “I knew it.” you laugh.

Eva stutters, “What?”

“Why you’re actually delusional to think he’s taking you back.”

“Oh but he will.” she protests, stomping her heel.

“No, he won’t.”

When you see Eva stay quiet, you continue. ”You grew up spoiled rotten, your parents love you, hell my parents love you, you always had the most friends and always got your way.”

She smirks, you’re tempted not to continue but years of pent up anger is ready to burst through your chest. “Yeah, jealous are we?” Eve mocks, and you quiver as you speak. Stating the obvious doesn’t hurt you anymore.

“No, because you grew up thinking everyone will love you, no matter how wrong you are, or what horrible things you do, you’ll always think that people won’t stop being by your side.” you shake your head, tutting. “But you’re wrong. I guess that’s what too much love does to you - you think a simple sorry will fix what you did? Because no, it won’t.”

“Oh stop it, Fred wants me back, it’s painfully obvious.” Eva speaks, but she doesn’t sound sure at all.

“I’ll make it clear for you.” you smile. “Fred won’t take you back for cheating, you won’t get a second chance in your career, and you sure as hell won’t be getting an apology from me.”

By now, you don’t care who's listening, because they are. Oh, they’re eating this kitty fight up like free dessert Monday at Fleur’s. Your childhood friends are watching you with intense, widened eyes. And somehow, in a cruel, wicked way, you feel satisfaction. The harsh words slipping out of your lips like nectar, in comparison to the way they slap Eva across the face fills you with nothing but disgusting satisfaction.

Sure, it’s immature and yes, you could’ve worded everything much better to be even more impactful, but the way her eyes are bloodshot and vengenceful, it’s enough for you.

Eva grits her teeth, and you know she doesn’t have much to say. “I don’t need an apology from you, ____.” she speaks, and her next words cause you to freeze, because no matter what wrong doing, she’s still right. ”You’re right, I might not be forgiven, but in the end I will always be better than you. People will always favour me more and you can never change that.”

You try to lunge forward, teeth gritter. With harsh impact, you topple backwards. Strong arms are wrapped around your chest, holding you back from gouging Eva’s eyes out with the toothpick from the martini glasses.

“Nice weather we’re having,” Fred says, a deep rumble coming from his chest and against your back. You fight the urge to shiver, though you’re way too angry to be thinking of how good he smells. “Why don’t we sober up sweetheart.” he asks you, whispering.

“No!” you shriek, struggling to move forward. “This isn’t over until I break her nose!”

Eva laughs, “Oh come at me, babe! Let’s see what a traumatized neglected child can do, yeah?” her eyes flash.

A deep, growling of distress leaves you. “Oh let me go! Let’s see what a filthy adulter can do!”

“I didn’t mean to cheat you know!”

You groan, “Heaven’s above let me go Fred.”

Eva takes two steps forward before Lee grasps her arms. “But these things happen for a reason!” her shrill voice causes you to wince.

“Yeah, you!” you cry.

Eva shrieks, lunging forward in an attempt to reach you again, and at that moment Fred seems to have about enough.

“Alright, that’s it.” His stern voice causes you to flinch, muscular arms still holding you close to his chest, he yanks you backwards and starts walking towards the corridor. “That’s enough with the both of you, Lee take Eva outside, get her some fresh air.”

——————

Fred has the decency to take you to his bedroom rather than toss you outside like he had done with Eva.

If the situation was any different, you’d be over the moon right now. Alone? With Fred Weasley? In his big bedded, fireplace occupying, additional bathroom having bedroom?

Said situation did not have you sitting on a leather rocking chair, big mug of coffee in hand while Fred lectures you like a parent. Actually, you wouldn’t know.

You’ve been quiet for the past fifteen minutes, too scared to say anything and anger him further. You knew how much this party meant to him, and you had ruined it with your childish, pent up jealousy. It wasn’t just you per say, but you had let Eva get to you.

“Can’t the two of you act your age for one fucking second,” he groans, hand propped against the brick fireplace. “I know how infuriating she is, but you-” inhaling sharply, he strides towards you. “Say something will you?”

“Why didn’t you tell me she cheated?”

Fred’s expression softens. “What?”

You gulp, you shouldn’t have brought it up when he was agitated, but you can’t listen to him while the words echo around your head. You feel awful, insensitive, anything else to call yourself that makes you feel better towards your lack of judgement. “She cheated, you didn’t tell me. Why?”

Fred pauses, after what feels like a seconds he bends down on his knees in front of you while you watch him, engrossed.

“Been waiting for you to bring it up.” he chuckles, his smile disappearing in an instant. His ginger locks hang in front of you and you realize that his shampoo, like the rest of him, smells amazing. You fight the intense urge to card your fingers through.

“Merlin, I just,” he meets your eyes. “I felt ashamed.”

Suddenly standing up, your hands flail. “Why?”

Fred stands up as well. His stance alarms you, arms wrapped around himself, brows furrowed and defensive. “Not ashamed because of you, because of myself.”

You take a step forward when Fred indicates that he’s going to continue. “I thought you were going to judge me. Bloody coward, can’t even break up with his cheating girlfriend.”

You scoff, “Fred, I’ve known you since I was eleven. Sure we had some tough times but do you really think that low of me?”

Now he scoffs, it’s nothing short of mockery. “Tough times my arse. You avoided us like the plague, ____.”

“I had my reasons,” you raise your voice, wincing slightly and it only fuels Fred’s anger.

“Proper liar you are, you didn’t even write, or even just explain why you suddenly walked out.”

You don’t feel ashamed for what you did, it was for your own good. Though, Fred’s right. You never gave a proper reason other than those childish insults at Hog’s Head. But now, with your head banging, you can’t think logically.

“Again.” you grit your teeth, words spilling between like venom. “I had my reasons.”

Fred quickly stalks towards you, enough so you can reach a hand, grab his jaw and smash your lips against his. But you don’t. “Excuse me for not giving a rat's arse about your reasons, do you know how worried I was!”

His words pull a small gasp from your lips, you refuse to believe him. “If you were so worried, you could’ve spoken to me all those years. How about that summer huh? I stayed over.”

“But I did speak to you!” Fred shouts, and your fists clench. “You were a bitch to me, remember?”

Your groan is filled with contempt. “You take that back!” your fist lifts to smack him on the chest, and you curse his overwhelmingly hard and attractive biceps. Shit, you really shouldn’t be feeling like this during a fight.

“You wanna know why I did all that?” you cry out, tears ready to strain your cheeks but you won’t forgive yourself if you cried in front of him.

“Oh do tell?” he seethes, grasping your fist in a quick motion and holding it beside him before you can smack his chest again. “Merlin woman keep your-”

“Because I was in love with you, you dickwad!”

Fred freezes - second time that night.

Your heartbeat pounds against your chest, you feel vulnerable. Oh so vulnerable and stupid, you shouldn’t have said it.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You should have just kept your stupid mouth shut, dragged your stupid ass back home and took a stupid shower.

But it was too late.

Fred takes a slow step back, continued by several until he’s on the other side of the room with his arms propped against a wall, head hanging low. He’s breathing heavily, you’re finally crying.

“So you aren’t going to say anything?” you yell, stomping your heel on the ground. “Do you know how hard it was for me to watch you and Eva all those years, you wouldn’t even look at me.” you choke on your sobs, remembering everything. The painful memories, the emotions hit you like the Ford Angelia with Ron behind the wheels.

“The Yule Ball, I saw you two together. It hurt so much and I cou- umpfh”

You almost swallow your tongue.

Soft lips, those are the only words writing out in your mind. Fireworks erupting around the letters and causing shivers to run around your entire being. Taken aback, you can’t move until your mind processes that Fred Weasley is kissing you.

Fred groans, opening your mouth with his and grazing his tongue against your bottom lip. It’s so gentle that you doubt you feel it, until his hand grips the back of your head and presses you against him harder. Now you can taste the wet, warm feel of his tongue against yours, the certain flicks of the tip gracing your own.

He pulls back only slightly, panting against your lips and causing your breaths to intermingle intimately. “The Yule Ball,” he starts, going back in for another, hurried kiss.

“She told me, you - closer.” He yanks you in by your waist with his other hand, palm gripping your ass and kneading it with vigour.

“Told me she saw you with someone else,” he pulls you closer when your hands wrap around his shoulders. “It broke me ____.”

“Fred,” you sigh, gripping on his sweater tighter.

“That’s Freddie for you, love.”

Heat curls in your lower belly. His lips are on yours again, begging you for something you didn’t quite know yet. “Freddie,” you chant.

“That’s right.” he chuckles lowly, his rumbling voice against your chest.

You merely shiver, latch onto the tufts on his neck and anchor him lower to your lips until your lungs are overwhelmed with nothing but slow, languid kisses. Fred kissed really good - oh who were you kidding, he was the best kiss you’ve ever had. It’s addictively so, and you chase his lips when he pulls away.

“I,” he breaths, whispering. “I was so devastated by what Eva told me,” he hugs you tighter. “I loved - still love you so much, I didn’t know how to cope.”

“You love me?” Now, there’s more tears. You aren’t sure if they’re of pure joy, frustration or the ache between your legs. “For how long?”

“Since third year,” he murmurs against your cheek, breathing in your scent and shakily exhaling. “I still wear the bracelet, never took it off.”

“I saw,” you nuzzle your head in his chest, your heart feels like it’s about to burst. “It made me so happy, I thought you would have lost it by now or something.”

“Oh Flower, there you are hurting my pride again.”

The nickname knocks all the breath out of your lungs. You only hug him tighter, not daring to mention that throughout these years you flinched whenever someone said flower, or how you simply refused to visit any flower shop. Yes, it did cause problems during holidays and of course, funerals but at least your Disney gift cards contained sentiment.

“I wasn’t with anyone during the Yule Ball.” you mutter.

“I know.”

“Then why didn’t you come back?”

Fred shivers. “I didn’t know back then, Merlin if I had…”

“You’re an idiot.” you chuckle, hurriedly wiping away the drying tears from your cheeks.

“That’s right,” Fred rasps, pulling your face towards his. “I’m a stupid, stupid prat.”

That was, if the loud countdown roaring outside Fred’s bedroom door didn’t ruin the most pleasurable lips you were going to taste - yet again.

Your eyes widen, Fred whines and pulls you back into his arms but you’re already rushing to the closed door. “We’re missing the count down!”

“Oh come one,” Fred steps behind you, hand over yours to grip the knob. You struggle under his hold and try to turn it. “I’ll make you count, hop on the bed, love.”

You have to gulp down nothing but air to keep yourself at bay. God, yes, you would have shouted, stripped naked and let him have his way with you.

But you can’t, not with your friends right outside the door, slightly tipsy and merrily counting down from ten. Speaking of, they’re nearing seven - you have exactly seven seconds to push Fred off and throw yourself outside.

Six seconds until you turn the knob and ignore Fred’s protests, five until Harry and Ginny throw their arms around your shoulders, four until George decides not the comment on you and Fred’s flushed appearance, three until Fred does, two until you’re suddenly pulled forward - one, Fred’s kissing you in front of his friends and family.

Fuck.

It was that one, long second that Ron lets the confetti burst in utter silence while everyone stares at you. It’s a quick yet passionate peck - enough for couples to abandon their new year's kiss and focus solely on yours.

“Finally!” George yells.

Ginny cheers after his brother, “Took you ten bloody years!”

Last of the Weasleys, Ron, gapes. “When did that become a thing?” he mutters, completely oblivious but still happy nonetheless.

If Hermione and Ginny hadn’t swept you away, you would have spent your night glued to Fred’s side, demanding to show him off after all those years of pining.

Your two friends keep asking questions - not overly detailed considering Fred’s Ginny’s older brother. Your lips hurt from smiling by the end of your overly exaggerated story,

The end of the night brings tranquility over the apartment, after presents are ripped open and everyone says their goodbyes, you’re left alone the twins, helping them clean the flat with quick flicks of your wand.

Your watch reads one thirty, you need to leave soon. Aleyna and Blaise hadn’t shown, which only means the proposal was a success. You want to go home and congratulate them, but also spend some time with Fred.

Fred himself is busy wiping pint glasses and lining them neatly in empty cupboards. The both of you keep stealing glances at each other, and it would have been more romantic if George would stop scoffing whenever Fred bashfully smiled in your direction.

“____.”

You hum in acknowledgment, watching Fred’s back shuffle as he washes the dishes.

“Thanks for giving a hand, you didn’t have to.” George smiles kindly, hands tucked in his pockets.

You smile back, “Oh it’s alright.”

“I just wanted to apologize.” he looks down, it isn’t the dorky shyness George casually sports at times, he looks sorrowful.

“For what?” you ask, lips lowering into a frown to match his.

“For being a git all those years back. I was young and a shit head. I’m sorry.” he sighs, leaning his shoulder on the wall.

You chuckle, just the familiar voice of George resurfaces pleasant memories you wished you never forgot. “It’s alright, I’m over it.”

“Really?” he raises a brow. “Because I wouldn’t forgive myself personally. Go on, give me a smack or something.”

“I’m not smacking you George.” you say, you make sure your tone sounds playful to put his mind at ease. “We all had our issues, I probably should have talked to you guys instead of just storming off. Partly my fault.”

George smiles, “It wasn’t your fault, but I’m glad you can forgive me.” He squeezes your shoulder in a way to reassure you, while it feels like he needs it more. You nod fondly.

“And about Eva, we didn’t really like her, y’know. She told us that you needed space, and that we should leave you alone. Just now realizing how rubbish it sounds.”

“Took you long enough.”

He chuckles again, much more genuine like you prefer and pushes himself off the wall. “I better get some sleep,” he glances at Fred, “leave you two alone. And ____, please don’t distance yourself.”

“I won’t.”

Your lie slips so easily.

It’s the welcoming silence that accepts your doubts with open arms - everything was happening overwhelmingly quick, or was it just your fear of being left alone again?

You smile at George when he retires to his room, it’s more of a constipated grimace but George seems to have bought it.

You take this time to finally think, let your protective walls analyse what the fuck happaned in the last five hours because it was too good to be true. Fred couldn’t simply love you that easily, after everything he did. It didn’t explain why he started dating Eva without consulting you first, or how he was with her that night after the Yule Ball. If he loved you this much, why would he bury himself between her legs, abandon you in the hollow halls of Hogwarts? Why would he believe her so easily?

“____.”

Even his voice sounds distant. You can’t tell if it’s him speaking or your past.

“____, darling.”

Nope, that’s definitely Fred. His frustratingly sexy cologne is mocking you like every other amazing aspect this man has.

“Huh?” you snap out of your thoughts. “Oh, yes hello.”

Fred tilts his head to the side, expression softening the moment you speak. “You okay? Something on your mind?”

You tentatively shake your head. Fred sighs and reaches out to stroke your head - you close your eyes but the feeling of his calloused hands never show.

Eyes fluttering open, you realize your fears are coming true. He’s going to tell you that he changed his mind, that he doesn't love you and this is all a big mistake.

“Sorry,” he breathes, cheeks alight. You hold in your breath, ready to face the truth.

Fred’s silent; he’s doing that thing again. The thing where he somehow magically thinks he can communicate with you without saying anything.

“Fred,” you sigh, and his face drops. “Why did you date Eva if you loved me so much?”

There, you asked it. Because if you hadn’t, it would haunt you for the rest of your days, crawl around your heart like an infectious disease. You have enough of those, you don’t want another.

Fred breathing sputters, he looks at you like you know the answer. “Because…it was the closest thing to you I could have. I know it sounds awful-“

“Yes it does, and stupid!”

“I know!” he exclaims. “I didn’t know how to cope, she gave me the affection I longed to get from you.”

Your eyes start to swell, the sentence should make you remotely happy but it doesn’t. “Why did you stay with her for so long?”

“Look.” Fred cups your face, breathing heavily. “Yes, at first it was because I was petty. I thought you were with someone else that bloody night, I was heartbroken and needed a distraction. She was the closest thing.”

“That doesn’t explain the rest-“

“Let me finish!” He sounds earnest, adamant on wiping all your doubts and replacing them with nothing but his love. If only it was that easy.

“I can’t do this tonight Fred-“

“Please just call me Freddie.” he whimpers, kissing your cheek harshly. He stands there, face close to yours like if he let go you would leave.

I“I’m tired, I have a headache and my feet hurt.” you’re crying, again. Nothing out of the ordinary considering you’ve been doing it damn well for the last eight years.

“Stay over the night, it’s late. I’ll make you some chamomile, you always loved chamomile. Please.” Fred begs, lips against your cheek and you can feel the wetness of his own tears. His forehead presses against your temple. “Don’t leave me again.”

Your heart aches, it’s the most painful kind of hurt you’ve been dreading to feel again after all these years. This was worse than the neglect of your parents, the pain that night in the Burrow caused, watching Fred introduce Eva to his mother. This was why you’ve been avoiding him.

Because this time you know what to do, you know what’s for the best and it takes all of the protection you’ve built for yourself to push Fred off. Now, there’s none. Now, you’re standing before him, vulnerable and all your emotions on display.

“Goodnight Fred, merry christmas.”

This time, the door you walk out of feels much smaller and suffocating.

————

It’s ironic how the weather matches your mood for six days.

Saturday; clear skies with a blizzard hidden beneath the clouds. Aleyna’s engagement celebration. Show up with puffy eyes enough to make you blind, sit through nice dinner without crying, eventually start crying when she shows you the ring, act like you’re crying because you’re happy, get snot all over Aleyna’s ring, walk home while the storm finally presents itself and tells you that you’re a miserable piece of shit.

Sunday; small flurry. Spend your day weeping quietly and eating leftover takeout while browsing through your tv cable. Eventually watch a romantic movie, weep more.

Monday; cloudy, soft breeze. Cry more, hug your slightly overweight cat and get dragged outside by Aleyna because she figures out that you didn’t sob in front of an entire restaurant because your best friend was getting married. Sit at her bar, drink beer and stuff your face with cornish pasties while you tell her what happened, until you eventually pass out.

Tuesday; cloudy and dark. Spend your day thinking if you’ll ever be loved again. Regretful, pained, hungover and miserably under caffeinated.

Wednesday; crazy fucking blizzard that catches you so off guard you forget you ruined you chances with Fred Weasley for a moment. Aleyna tells you how stupid you are, you realize how stupid you are, then find out Aleyna is more of a snake than she lets on because she lets you eat a whole pack of doughnuts and that amazing Shepherd’s Pie her mom makes.

Thursday; clear skies. Not a cloud in sight. Your head is unusually clear, maybe too clear because you forget to feed Jambo and take out the trash. You think about running back to the joke shop, tell Fred you love him and that you don’t give a shit about the past anymore. But you don’t.

And now it’s Friday. You’re sitting on your bed, Aleyna in your closet, flinging clothes at you for you to try on because she insists you go out. It’s been a week since you walked out on Fred, again, and perhaps made the biggest mistake of your life.

“Stop wasting away your pathetic life here and do it outside!” she yells, voice getting closer when she comes into view.

“Aleyna, I’m really not in the mood.” you dismiss, laying back on your bed. “I just, should I go to him?”

Aleyna groans, pained. “Merlin forbid, this is the millionth time you ask me. I tell you yes, you don’t do it.”

“What if he says it’s too late, and it is! I don’t deserve-“

“Shut up. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. What matters is that you need to at least try.”

You need to at least try. Aleyna’s voice echoes around your head after she leaves and you're back to your routine. Get up, brush your hair because the tangles bother you more than you let on, (and sometimes your teeth, if you feel like it.) then stay in your pyjamas all day while lazing around your apartment. You’ve started making coffee for yourself again, which is a small step but still encouraging. Plopping down on your couch, you sigh. Jambo follows, leaving fur floating around the air in his wake.

Love To Love You Baby by Donna Summers plays softly in the background, your magic radio is mocking you yet again on how single and sad you are. Especially after how long it has been since you’ve had sex. It’s painful, but you can’t help but think of Fred whenever you try to at least relieve some stress. Of course, this ends with you curled in a corner and crying, it’s frustrating how much he turns you on, and now knowing you can never have him-

Jambo’s loud meow reminds you that you haven’t brushed him today and you slowly get up, striding to the kitchen. You try to relax your mind but your chest feels even tighter with your effort. Your house is an organized mess, you didn’t bother cleaning up throughout the stages of your grief.

You should talk to him. You should go outside, get fresh air, make out a game plan and at least talk to him. Fred’s kind, the funniest, most lovingly stubborn man you’ve ever met. He doesn’t deserve what you’re putting him through. You don’t want to leave things so bittersweet again, you want to keep seeing George, even Fred if time allows.

The pain of your past doesn’t allow you to follow your desires. You hate yourself for it and it’s only a matter of time before you break and go back to your old, quiet self. It’s as if the past got your wrists on lock, holding you back whenever you try to sprint free and love again. You thought Fred would have unlocked the chains and swept you away, but that was before you decided that he shouldn’t.

Gripping the fur comb on your left hand, Jambo watches you walk over to him with big eyes. He looks triumphant, lying on his chubby stomach and readying himself for the brush of his three year life.

Knock Knock

Perhaps this is why Jambo hates Aleyna. You chuckle. “Sorry Bo, give me a minute. She probably forgot her coat again.”

You put down the comb and rush over to the door. Not bothering to check through the peephole, you fling the door open while laughing. “Forgot your condoms or some-“

By the look Fred gives you, you’d think he hits it raw.

“Fred.” you whisper, frozen with your hand gripped on the handle.

He looks haggard, eye bags under his eyes with slightly damp hair sticking out obscenely from the sides. It looks longer, or perhaps it's the way he quickly runs a hand through it and smooths it back. You probably look no different, yet Fred still looks unfairly handsome, eyes dripping with honey and curved bottom lip tucked between his teeth.

Your heart hammers in your chest as you take in his appearance. He’s wearing a simple black pullover with a pea coat messily tucking in the material of his hoodie. You can see the after effects of the snow outside visible on his grey sweatpants, you can’t tell if he came to your house straight after working out for…however long he works out to have thighs like that.

“Can I-“ he gives you a look over and you blush. There’s a hundred different things you want to say, and you merely stay quiet and look at him with hopeful eyes. Coward. “Can I come in?”

You step aside wordlessly. He takes one, big step and he’s inside. Cursing his giant legs, you close the door behind him.

“Wow,” he clears his throat, looking around your apartment. “Nice place.”

“Thank you.”

Fred’s hand twitches when he hears your voice, as if he hadn’t heard it since he was a child. As if he was hearing it for the first time.

As soon as he steps in, his cologne engulfs the air around him - as if he’s marking himself in your house and leaving his delicious after taste. You would tell him he smells amazing but the air between you is too tense to say anything but;

“Fred I-“

“I wanted to-“

Fred breaks out into a smile, and you follow. It looks like a grimace, a hopeful one though. “I wanted to apologize.”

Your heart swells. You know it shouldn’t, because you don’t deserve an apology but the fact that he thought of you makes you feel like you have another chance. Of course you do, the poor man walked over to your house in the middle of a snowstorm. There’s got to be something there, right?

“Fred,-“

“No, let me finish this time.”

You stay silent.

“Been trying to think of the right ruddy words to say this past week but fuck that.” he growls, shrugging off his coat when you offer. “I’m not waiting any bloody longer.”

“I admit that at some point,” he starts, taking a deep breath. “I had feelings for Eva. That’s why I didn’t break up with her. It was well after three months of us dating and I thought I moved on.” you usher him to sit down, quickly following behind. Your legs feel wobbly as he continues.

“That’s why I didn’t break up with her, and I won’t deny that what I had with her was nice, but it wasn’t you. No one ever compared to you ____. I was fine until you decided to stop being our friend.”

“I didn’t decide that, It was something I had to do.” you defend fiercely, sitting next to him on the bar stool of your kitchen island. Damn rich apartments.

“I know that now, but at that time I thought you hated me. I clung onto Eva because I thought - seeing as she was your childhood friend - we’d be friends again.”

You scoff. “Look how that turned out.”

Fred raises a brow.

“Sorry, continue.”

“I started getting over it until that summer happened. It killed me to see you again, that’s when I realized I could never stop loving you. I blamed myself for everything, for fucking up all my chances even though I-“

You put a hand on his shoulder, “Freddie, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Fred pauses, squeezes your hand and gives you a wide, hopeful smile that punches you right in the heart. His head dips down to rest on your shoulder and he sighs. “You called me Freddie.”

“I did.” you smile.

“I wanted to talk to you, but you kept avoiding me. With the war and everything I just couldn’t, especially after that near death thing.”

“Near what?” You gasp.

Fred chuckles, as if it was no big deal. It makes your chest ache. “I got trapped under a wall, Georgie saved me. Owe him my bloody life. Took me sometime to get over it though, those were the times I needed someone the most.” he takes a deep breath before continuing.

“It was around those times that I found out Eva cheated on me. She was acting dodgy the past few months, and I feel awful for feeling relieved when we broke up.”

“But, that’s not your fault.” you sigh, hand caressing his back gently. He relaxes at your touch and a smile tugs at your lip at this. “You don’t owe Eva a damn thing. It’s okay to feel like that, because I do.”

Fred laughs, a small melodic sound that brings you pride that you pulled it out of him. “Oh, is that how it works now?”

“Yep, I said so.” you give him a toothy grin, and he chuckles, further causing your ruin.

But you can’t let things get too comfortable, not before you’re completely honest with him. Here he is, vulnerable and open, telling you his entire life story and you sure as hell are going to do the same - minus some embarrassing parts.

“Do you,” you clear your throat, awkwardly shuffling on your stool. The seat is uncomfortable and it makes everything all the more frustrating. “Do you want to know what I was thinking before you showed up?”

Fred pauses, gaze lingering over your face attentively. Breath catching, you let him look at you. Directly, fully look at you. He flushes, quickly hidden away by his hand when he nods his head slowly and leans on his palm.

“I was thinking of you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I was thinking if I should just go to you myself.”

Fred takes a quick breath. Shuddering because of the cold, surely, his tone is soft and barely above a whisper. “Why didn’t you?”

“I was scared you’d reject me. I was going to apologize to you, get on my knees and beg for forgiveness until you gave me a second chance.”

“Oh.”

You let him grasp your chin and turn your face towards his, he lovingly strokes your cheek, long finger somehow reaching easily. “I’m sorry Freddie, I love you.”

“I’ve waited to hear those words for so long.” his chest heaves when he responds.

“Well, how much of a let down is it?” you smile, nuzzling your hand in his palm.

He leans in and presses a kiss to your forehead, then to your cheek. “Let down?” he tells you, as if he heard the most obscene thing. “It’s so much better than I could have imagined, and I’m sorry too. I hate myself for letting you go through so much pain on your own. If I wasn’t such a clueless git I could’ve done this much earlier.”

“Do what?”

Fred kisses you. It’s not urgent, nor wanton, it’s soft and tender that still leaves you breathless. He leans his forehead against yours, and you ruin the kiss by smiling but he couldn’t care less. Opening your mouth, you let him flick your tongues together until it’s a sloppy, needy mess.

He groans, and that’s when you know the kiss progressed much too far to stop now. The needy ache between your legs pushes you to hover yourself over him, and his strong arms grasp you by the waist. His lips aren’t a perfect fit, it makes the kiss all the more pleasurable and it’s until he’s slowly walking towards your bedroom with your legs tucked around his hips that you break away.

“Fred,” you sigh when he sets you down against a wall. “I want you.”

He frowns, “It’s Freddie, how many times-“ he gathers your knee in one hand and pushes his crotch against your center with a grunt. “Do I have to tell you?”

You barely respond, clawing at his back. The curve of his thick cock gradually growing, his thighs encasing around your legs feels too damn good and you don’t know how long until you’re fully at his mercy. Fred roughly rolls his hips, a deep grumble leaving him and the stimulation is enough to make you whine. “Again,” you rock your pervis.

“Oh yeah?” he smirks, humping you harder. “You like this? How much? Let me feel.”

You rut against him desperately, trying to get off on the friction Fred barely decides to provide.

True to his word, Fred kisses you again with a groan, this time sparing you no tenderness and sucking on your bottom lip until it throbs. His hips continue to rut all the while his free hand slithers down your clavicle, down the sides of your waist - he makes sure to spread his palm wide to feel you everywhere - until he teasingly snaps the band of your pyjama bottoms. You yelp, relishing in his moans.

“If you like it so much- well shit.” his eyes flutter shut the moment he feels your slick from your underwear. “My love, you’re so wet that I bet I can taste you through your panties.”

If you weren’t wearing your yellow duck polka dot panties this would have been more sexier, and it takes Fred talking about eating you out to realize - oh my god, you’re wearing your duck panties.

“Fred, don-“

Fred has already pushed your bottoms down, revealing the abomination and further causing your face to feel hotter.

“Oh?” he smirks. “Sexy lingerie, all for me?”

You groan, hiding your face in his shoulder while he laughs at you. You feel his chest bob, and you can’t help but giggle alongside him.

“Now, strip.” he commands, and all the humor in the situation vanishes in an instant.

He lets go of your knee and you easily slip out of your bottoms, then slowly said polka dot panties. He grips your thighs, hoisting you up on his hips again and before you know it, he’s stumbling into your room.

His hand is cupping the back of your head, somehow gone there the moments he walked. You wouldn’t know, it’s hard to concentrate on anything else when the heat of his cock between your thighs feels like that.

Fred deposits you on the messily scattered forest you call your bed, and the smell of linen mixed with his cologne is enough for you to grind your hips on nothing.

Fred tuts, pushing a palm flat on your hip. He trails his hand between your legs and palms your pussy, bare. “Babe, you’re dripping. Since how long?”

You whine, “Since the moment you walked through - ah, my door.”

Fred’s eyes glaze over with nothing but dangerous greed. Dipping his knee on the mattress, he manhandles you into submission. “You think you can just get away with saying shit like that?” he groans, eyes fixating on wherever it lands on your body. It’s like he’s trying to take it all in, overwhelmed yet still wanton.

He shuffles to sit against your headboard and pats his large thigh, you waste no time crawling towards him. He quickly grabs your waist before you can approach him. Pulling you against him with your knees propped between his thighs, he’s face to face with your pussy and drooling.

“Such a sweet, pretty cunt.” he breathes, gently kissing your clit. You cry out, knees buckling but Fred’s large palms are flat on your ass and adamant on keeping you up and against his lips. Your center throbs, this is all you have ever wanted - the both of you have ever wanted and Fred has the audacity to tease.

“I know, I know.” He gently sushes. “I need to,” his head leans on your abdomen, desperate. “Need to get you ready for my cock.”

You barely nod, Fred seems to be in battle with himself. You don’t know which side wins, until he starts to suckle your clit with continuous, obscene kissing noises. You grip his shoulder, body bending in half. It feels so good, too good that you can’t hold straight. “Please - Fred,”

Gasping, your pelvis rocks forward. He keeps you still with his muscles digging in your hips, ass, back - everywhere he’s desperately roaming and memorizing.

His tongue finally darts forward - you knew that goddam tongue would be what did it - you nearly collapse, melting forward. It’s wet and warm and god - almost what you imagine his dick might feel like if it ever prods at your entrance.

He’s licking with bold, textured strokes. Your thighs are quivering, it’s the sudden brush of pleasure that meets your cunt every other second that causes this.

“Shit,” Fred pulls back, one hand holding your thighs wider. His thumb circles around your entrance and you cry out in pleasure. “My balls feel so fucking tight ____. If I keep this up, I might just come before I can put my dick in you.”

“Then - ahh Freddie!”

“Don’t get mouthy with me.” he smirks, sliding a finger inside. “I knew what you were gonna say before you opened that sweet mouth of yours.”

He fucks you like this, wet squelching noise mixing with your pants and moans. Working you open, Fred curls a finger inside and your thighs finally give out. “Merlin, you’re gonna get it,” he gives you a sweet kiss on the stomach. “I’m just as desperate to fuck you. Look,”

You do look, very gladly at that. He adds a second finger the moment your eyes fall on the wet patch of his bottoms. He’s rutting against nothing, all the while scissoring his fingers inside you - and from the look he gives you, you know he’s imagining what it's like to be inside you.

“Fred!” you gasp, rocking faster until your legs start to jerk and twitch. You don’t want to come yet, want to savor the way Fred’s fucking you with nothing but two fingers and it’s better than any sex you’ve had.

Your arousal pools between his fingers, dripping down his bracelet adorned wrist, all the way down to his veiny forearms. It’s a sight for sore eyes, Fred watches in a trance, gaze half lidded. You can see his cock twitch in his pants and he moans, “Fucking hell babe, look at the mess you’ve made.”

His thumb presses against your center with his two other fingers working, and he roughly drags it over to your clit to press. He’s licking again, slurping noises mixing with the pats of his tongue quickly dragging across your pussy.

That does it. Whining, and with quick breaths you hurtle towards such an intense orgasm that you swear you see Santa himself and his jingle fucking bells. It’s sudden and weakening, you barely register. Fred’s there all the while, desperately licking every drop of his hard work until there’s nothing. He groans and moans, like he’s having his thanksgiving now.

He’s not like a starved man, or any other cliche line you can think of. No, it’s like he has made a deal with the devil and is captured by the dark vitality of greed. He can’t stop, and merlin, do you not want him to.

“That was,” you breathe, taking a seat on his thigh when he allows.“That was the best orgasm I’ve had.”

“And that was the most gorgeous sight I have ever seen.” Fred smiles, it slowly turns into a smirk. The cocky bastard is way too proud of himself. He should be though, it’s been a while since you’ve had sex - if it always felt like this you would have never stopped.

But you know it never feels this good. No, it’s because of Fred. It’s him, and how much you love him, and how attractive he is - how skilled, amazing, passionate of a man he is. He’s perfect and way out of your league but you don’t care because he’s finally yours.

Said man is breaking out in a sappy grin, kissing your lips sweetly to whisper against them. “Get used to it.” He kisses you again. “I’m going to make you come again, and again, and again until you can’t walk.” he’s lowering you down onto your back, hands caressing your thighs.

“Really?”

“Especially now that I know how sweet and tight you are,“ Fred runs a finger through your pussy and you whimper. “How amazing you smell,” he dips down to lazily suck a hickey on your collarbone. “How soft your skin is,” his hands are lifting your waist up to unhook your bra. “How much I’m in love with you.”

Your gaze softens, and you let him undress you, bra after shirt until you’re left bare beneath. He shivers, his eyes are darting everywhere, to the curve of your hips, up your stomach - and finally, the slope of your breasts. He sucks in a breath. “You,” he rasps. “You had this bikini, that summer.”

“Wha- which one?”

“The white one.”

Your eyes widen. “Oh.”

“We all loved that bikini, especially the days when the lake was particularly cold. Your nipples would be crystal fucking clear.”

You should feel embarrassed, fuck you really should but you knew what you were doing when you bought that bikini. That doesn’t stop you from acting clueless though, “Fred you big oa - oh!”

Fred dips to suck on your nipples, mouth wide open and hungry. “From that day onward, I fucking knew your tits were amazing.” he groans, gazing at them for a moment. “ Shit, was I right.”

You feel his clothed cock rub against you as he speaks - and it finally becomes a problem.

“A-ah, Fred. Clothes,” you barely gesture, though Fred understands you quickly. Sitting back on his heels, he swiftly removes his hoodie overhead.

Of course he isn’t wearing anything underneath.

Of course he has abs.

You curse under your breath - Fred’s chest is well defined, as you expected it to be. Well toned pecs, pert nipples hard and on display, golden skin stretching over his abdomen and six pairs of muscles you’d like to mark. He’s lean yet buff, corded well with muscle and now you know where those enthusiastic years of Quidditch have gone into

You reach for his arm, Fred quickly obliges and lets you guide his palm flat on your body. You breathe heavily - you love how you're he’s feeling you up like this. His hand lands on your breast, and he gives it a rough squeeze before rolling off the bed to get out of his bottoms.

“Are you trying to kill me, doing that? Huh?” he rasps, stumbling slightly. He swings his socks somewhere and gets back on the bed. “Is that what you want?”

When you don’t respond, he chuckles. Slowly, he pushes down his boxer briefs. It’s teasing, this motion. But then again, everything about Fred Weasley is.

His cock slaps against his abdomen - that’s how big it is. You feel yourself salivate, pupils expanding at the thought of such a thick, attractive cock inside you. You almost jump forward and sit on it but when you see the angry red color of his cock, the twitching of his head and the pre-cum that drips, it becomes clear how much he has been holding back.

Fred grips his cock and the head gushes slightly, you feel your cunt flutter. “Come here.”

You let him grip your body and settle you on his lap, entrance inches away from the head of his cock. You’re making eye contact, it’s almost intimidating how intense his gaze is. On your heat, breasts and fucked out face. “Merlin, I’ve been dreaming about this for fucking years. Let me,” he breathes. “I should just take a picture and stare at it all day.”

“Why take a picture when you have the real thing.” you smirk slightly.

Fred groans, “Ohh, you’re such a good girl.”

You smile, “Freddie, please get a condom. Flattery won’t get you that far.”

“Damn it.” he smiles jokingly, reaching for your night stand.

“Wait, shit.” you get off his lap and down your bed, legs wobbling a bit as you stride towards your dresser with hurried steps. Fred whines when you leave but you pay him no mind. “Been a while, here.”

Grabbing the pack, you stumble back on the bed and sit on your knees.

“Well, what are you waiting for?” Fred nods his head. “Put it on, baby.”

You rip the packet open and slowly roll it on him, his cock is already wet and glistening enough for it to be quick. Your center pulses with want as you do this.

Fred pushes you down and crawls on top, centering his cock with your entrance. “No more,” he grunts. “Gotta have you now.”

Gasping, you feel him rub against you. He continues to tease, until the tip of his cock finally pushes past.

You cry out and glance down at where his cock bulges, it’s a type of pain you’d love to feel everyday. “A-ah Fred!”

“I know baby,” he whines, pushing further in with a quick thrust. He strokes slowly to work you open. You cry out, arousal gushing out.

“Such a sweet pussy, taking all my cock so well.” he kisses your jaw, feathering his lips around your throat and lazily sucking. “Feel so good.”

It’s true, it feels so fucking good that you can’t hold in your moans anymore. Not that you were trying to, but the desire to chant his name becomes reality when he rolls his hips against your center. He’s so close to bottoming out and the woozy cloud floating in your head grows. “Oh my god, don’t want you to stop.”

The stretch feels so good that you can’t help but clench around him, pain jerking your hips up.

Fred's balls deep in, his chest heaves and his eyes squeeze shut for a moment. He pauses, letting the two of you adjust to the euphoric feeling of his cock inside. ”Why the fuck would I wan’t to stop?” Your insides are throbbing, and you find yourself arching your back every time he gives you a sweet kiss on your chest. “Why would I ever stop. Shit, baby, I love you.”

“I love you too - oh!”

Fred withdraws, then slams into you with such vigour that you scream. Another shameful flow of your juices gush out as pleasure rips through you. He continues this, another harsh thrust into your cunt that makes you arch in pleasure. “Freddie!”

“Just like that.” he grunts, rolling his hips. “Love when you call me that.”

His hand hooks your leg around his waist, and he speeds up his motion, soothing the needy ache you feel.

lt’s dizzying, how good he can make you feel. Like you’re the center of the universe and all that matters is Fred fucking you open with sweet, yet untetheredly rough thrusts. It’s scary how lost you can get in him, and it becomes haunted when he captures your lips in a kiss and lifts your leg up on his shoulder.

“You’re so tight, oh fucking hell. Look at you, my goodness you’re absolutely perfect.” he murmurs against your lips, muting your moans.

“Fred! Oh god - ah!”

Your cries egg him on, he’s ruthless with the way his fingers dig in your ass to slam into you faster. The angle, his thick cock, how he’s biting down on your lower lip, you can barely take in. You feel helplessly at his mercy, and soon he’s fucking you too hard to keep kissing. “Easy, baby,” he coos when you squirm underneath him. “I’ve got you - my sweet little flower. Feel good?”

The question itself is clearly hysterical, your pleasure is etched on to your face and your thighs quiver underneath him. His mouth hangs open, eyes droopy, yet he still wears that infuriatingly attractive smirk. “Yes! Feel so good - ah you cocky bastar - umpfh!”

He drapes your other leg over his shoulder, your breasts bounce as his thrust turns more languid. Your back arches, mouth hanging open. “Oh my god - Fred!”

It feels so fucking good like this, so deep and good and - fuck, everything else other than him becomes a distant memory.

“Ahh - shit baby. Doing so good,” he grunts, his moans turn more high pitched when you meet his thrusts halfways. “Drown me baby, my flower takes me so well,”

Fred’s hand curls around the mattress as his other grips your thigh. He slams into you, stretching you out so good that your orgasm builds rapidly within. With your legs draped over his shoulder, he bends forward further until he’s sucking in your chest and leaving red marks. “OH - Freddie,” you whine, clawing at his back.

“That’s it my love,” he croons, head thrown back yet still adamant on watching you. His hands tangle in your hair, carding through and gripping them hard. “Come on my cock - make a mess of your sheets. Doing so well for me, wanna feel you clench around me.”

His face contorts in pleasure when your cunt does clench, hair draping over his eyes to cover his glazed, blown out pupils. Fred reaches between your legs to sweetly thumb your clit, squeezing it between two fingers and it’s the final straw until you break.

You arch in pleasure, shuddering violently underneath him. Fred’s letting you ride it out, finally gasping and his hands clench around your thigh and the mattress. Your hand finds his, interlacing your fingers together as you messily grind your hips and finally come down. Ropes of hot cum fill the condom around your sensitive walls. You tighten, aching a little from the warmth that you can’t feel directly from the plastic barrier.

Fred collapses on top with panting breaths. His head rests in the crook of your neck, arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Well shit.”

“Yeah.” you chuckle breathily. The post orgasm clarity makes you realize; fuck, I love this man way more than I let on. You suddenly feel the need to show him, and yet you settle for tenderly brushing his hair back when he lifts his head.

Fred smiles, grin lazy and sappy. After pecking your lips, he slowly pulls out. You whine from the sudden coldness when he rolls out of your arms, then he grins at your noise of distress.

“Hold on love, be right back.” Fred pulls off his condom, ties the top and tosses it to the trash before collapsing next to you - way more dramatically. His arm drapes over you, pulling you to his chest and pressing a kiss on your forehead. “I love you.”

You sigh, content. “Love you too,” you smirk. “Would love you more if you cleaned me up.”

Fred’s eyes flash dangerously. “Oh?”

“Not like that you idiot!” you smile, gently slapping his chest. “Swish your wand or something, I don’t wanna get up.”

“Hm,” he taps his chin. “Give me a tour of your apartment and I’ll think about it.”

You sigh, propping yourself on your arms. Fred whines and tries to pull you back in but you don’t relent. “Alright alright.”

Rolling off the bed, you rush to the bathroom, ignoring the pulsing soreness in your core. “Wha - come back! What about my tour?” Fred yells after you.

You laugh at his eagerness. “You’re not getting it!”

After cleaning yourself up, you practically hurl yourself in his arms. Fred catches you with something between a grunt and a chuckle, leaning against the headboard and letting you rest your head on his chest. Your eyes lull around, begging to give into your exhaustion. “Close your eyes, flower,” he whispers sweetly, gently running his hands across your hair and massaging your scalp.

The snowstorm outside has gotten intense, the wind howls against your sealed windows yet the world feels much brighter from this morning. It’s hard to focus on anything besides the way your heart flutters, and the feel of Fred beneath you. Snuggling closer, his fingers gently trace around your shoulders.

“Freddie?” you murmur, cheek pressed against his chest.

He hums in response.

“You’re staying over, right?”

Fred peers down at you, his brows are etched together and the concern on his face nearly makes you sob. “Do…do you not want me to?” he answers shakily.

You let out a breath. “Of course I want you to!”

“Good.” he smiles, letting out a bigger breath than you. For a moment, you think you broke the man. “Because you’re not getting rid of me anytime soon.”

#fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley angst #fred weasley smut #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley x reader #harry potter fic #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley #fred wealsey fic #hp smut #fluff #angst #hp angst #reader insert #george weasley #ginny weasley #hermione granger #harry potter

[k0kichiimagines]

hhshhckd saeran brain rot time

you can request other characters for this, including other versions of Saeran!

- mod kokichi

[GE] Saeran Choi N$FW alphabet

CWs: N$FW

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Very soft, he usually gets a cloth to clean up and then holds you for a bit, fingers tracing your skin and whispering soft words to you. Sometimes falling asleep.

He'll run a bath afterwards, pretty bath bombs included.

At some point he may question what you enjoyed, mostly if you tried something new.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

At first he doesnt like anything about himself. He starts to love himself through how you love him, starting with his hands.. or more how his hands look on you.

On you ? Everything, but he loves your neck // collarbone when hes more in his Unknown persona, hips and thighs generally. He loves kissing or holding your hands during your moments as well.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He likes cumming inside or on the sheets, you'd have to ask him if you wanted it anywhere else tbh.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Probably when you first entered his life, and for the first time he started getting thoughts about someone. Not just feeling aroused, but feeling it towards someone in particular. Both Ray and Saeran felt nervous you would hate him if you found out.

Also unknown has an exhibition kink, i know this is GE saeran but i have to get it out there.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

No experience, I doubt he watches porn tbh but he did *some* research. He's not innocent on his kink knowledge.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Missionary! He loves having you close to him and having your front view exposed to him, seeing your face and etc. Any position he can see your face he likes.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He might make some light jokes here and there, very soft ones and not common. He might even softly tickle you in a teasing way once or twice. For him, sex is very intimate and loving and he wants to make it feel relaxed and stuff.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Okay i feel like this depends on what you hc happened to his hair. If you take the dye route, then no it's still red. I personally see it as being from the elixir, so i think it'd be white with some red here and there.

Yes i think he shaves every now and then, just trims when he's feeling lazy.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's so intimate and loving in everything you do together, especially so during sex. Even kinker stuff holds intimacy and love for him.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Not really. I feel like he's able to keep himself usually in check, and now he has you he doesn't feel the urge as much. He does a few times though, if you ever caught him he'd freeze for a second, debating how to respond.

He used to, during the Mint Eye and stuff, but even then only very rarely. Perhaps more often once he saw you.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Praise kink!! Orgasm denial.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Honestly anywhere. He prefers private areas, such as your house (again, anywhere. but the bed is comfortable so usually there). He dreams of having wide open fields and gardens, so in a closed off area there is good.

In public? Yeah he's down, not often but the excitement of hiding and keeping both of you silent gets to him at times.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You. Just whisper at him, or subtlety imply something, maybe trace your fingers close to his crotch. He'll get the idea pretty quick.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He would never degraded you or want to be degraded. Teasing? He's okay with it, but both from his childhood and the Mint Eye degradation would make him uncomfortable. Same with inflicting pain or choking.

I think tying him up would only be a sometimes thing, he wouldn't suggest it unless you wanted to and he'd only want it a few times.

Otherwise probably just stuff like vomit, piss, y'know.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Ohhhh he likes spoiling you, he's a giver.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Yes. (Depends on the mood, and what you want. He's a big romantic so he likes the slow mood, but equally having you beg for him to move is... hot)

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He likes them! Just not too often, he prefers sex-sex.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

YEP, depends on what of course but he's down! Just maybe don't expect non-stop kinky stuff with him.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

When he first gets out the mint eye, not more then one. As he heals and recovers he can go for longer and go for more rounds, just give him time.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Owns none, i dont think i need to explain why.

He's not too fussed on toys, if you have handcuffs or whatever you want to try he'll use them, and may even find one he likes, but he doesnt have a big preference for them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's always a tease, even in his after ending he teases you softly. Anything from words, to moving his fingers painfully slow, this man is a tease.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He definitely makes noises, soft whimpers and gasps mixed in with sentences that sometimes trail off (but you know what he means). He'll get a bit loud at times, he might kiss (or bite) you to silent himself.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Your first time having sex together is going to be very slow paced and gentle. In his own words, your his first love, but that also makes you his first everything. Sex including. He has a few nerves of his own, and he would prefer if you two spend time exploring each other the first time.

If you're not a virgin you can give him guidance, but even then you'll be learning together, even more so if you are a virgin.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I've read that circumcision is pretty popular in South Korea, however due to his childhood i honestly don't know if he would have gotten it done. His mother might have, equally she may not have,, i looked it up and apparently its done very young a lot of the time so probably yeah??? man i dunno i dont have a dick okay im out of my depth here 😭

ANYWAYS i think hes 5 to 6 inches or so, not woah really big but equally not small.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Hmm, I feel like he's not always horny but equally he's quick to get in the mood - if that makes sense? He has a good control over his emotions (sometimes), but equally if you push a button he's gone.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Pretty quick, he prefers if you fall asleep together though so he usually waits until you're sleeping.

#saeran x reader #saeran choi x reader #mystic messenger x reader #GE saeran #saeran choi #saeran choi x mc