#i should have known this movie was gonna make me an emotional wreck because of it's starting

[shaunthesheesh]

The audacity of them to start the movie while Creep by Radiohead plays in the background and Rocket is singing along!

#guardians of the galaxy #guardians of the galaxy vol. 3 #like why would you do this to me #that is like my favorite song #im a wounded soul #i didn't need to see another wounded soul sing along to that song #i should have known this movie was gonna make me an emotional wreck because of it's starting #i was not mentally prepared for this #i was not emotionally prepared for this #i cried so much for that bloody raccoon #i love you rocket #i keep remembering all the scene in the previous movie and rockect's behavior to certain things and now it makes sense why would he do them #rocket raccoon

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://www.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/711355362608119808/httpsattumblrcomlets-talk-spiritualityhttpsa?source=share

I’m on my iPad so I hope I spell everything right and I’m visiting my family and we’re having a early st pats party. Are you doing anything for st patty’s day? But they gave me a good pear martini. I’m chilling on the couch and it’s so coldddd and the martini is hitting me. I’m a light weight. Like no joke one drink and I need to lay down.

Paul McCartney is my favorite Beatle too. The one member I can’t stand is John Lennon. Like I did a deep dive on the history of the Beatles one day and the more I read about Lennon and read his interviews I just can’t. Like I understand his contribution to music and I feel terrible about the way he died. But he kind of turned me off from the Beatles.

Aww I’m sorry to hear that happen with that guy and that it bought up those emotions and past trauma etc. I wish I could be like the fairy godmother from Cinderella and Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo a good man for you or offer some sage advice. But I’m sending u hugs, light, and love across the globe. ⭐️⭐️⭐️ hey maybe u fix that car up one day soon and find that special person on the big open road. Just maybe watch out for any hitchhikers. We want a love story movie not any horror movie crap, Yo have you ever watch the hallmark Christmas movies ? They’re like my guilty pleasure. 

I feel like watching some real cheesy romance movies. What’s your favorite ? 

But I saw these quotes 

https://perfectfeelings.tumblr.com/post/709991056494755840/when-it-rains-look-for-rainbows-when-its-dark

https://www.tumblr.com/onyx-collective/711406050866266112/quick-reminder-from-edwin-youre-a-main-btch?source=share  you da the main bi*ch ♥️ 

Also that’s really cool that you saw Venus and Jupiter in the sky! Do you have star filled sky’s where u live? It’s my dream to see the stars one day, all we can see in our sky is satellites and planes. Some people claim alien lights. Omg I’m remembering this song https://youtu.be/Aebgf1_iryI.

Even tho it’s hard to see the stars we always get the moon and last was cosmos moon 😉 let me know if u know which movie that’s from. 

But when I’m home home I’ll check out those music links. Thank you for sharing them. I didn’t bring my headphones with me. :,,,,/

I think I saw you like to build stuff? U built a bookshelf correct? What other stuff have u done? I’m a bit of a flipper and builder myself. I love flipping old furniture. I’m dreaming of a backyard again one day where I have my she shed and I can use my spray paints again. 

Also do u like to cook and/or bake? I tried making some sugar cookies and the recipe was trash, I should have known when I saw how low the liquid ingredients. I’m like why is this sand!? :,/

Omg my family gave the five minute warning before dessert. I’m not gonna lie I was thinking about swiping some cookies before but I behaved. But I saw sugar cookies and ice cream cake. It was so hard. 

But please have a wonderful weekend and I hope you feel better soonnn 🫂 I’m going to go wreck some cookies and my diet 🍪 

🎶

I know it’s taken me so long to respond! But I know you get me :)

I decided to be anti social for St Patty’s Day because I felt I was becoming too dependent on the social interactions with my friends. I could go for a pear martini, that sounds delish. I love pomegranate martinis too.

Yeah when I learned he abused Yoko I was very turned off. People try to sweep that under the rug and I understand having compassion but we should use it as a way to talk about why abuse isn’t okay.

Omg! Yes I love the hallmark ones and I’m dying. That’s exactly the type of meet cute I would have as a free spirited type. I mean I met this recent dude doing mushrooms at the beach. I have always romanticized hitchhiking myself so maybe that’s another meet cute :) 😂 My favs? I like how to lose a guy in ten days (maybe I like a little antagonism in my dynamics 🤭) , ten things I hate about you (when she stands up in class! And also it’s based on my favorite Shakespeare play) one day (I cry every time) a walk to remember (you’re my only hope) Yeah that feels right.

Thanks for those quotes! I’m always looking at the sky :) and I know! I’m a main bitch but I’m not acting like it. Sigh. I’ll get back there.

Yes I do! Light pollution is less in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I googled it but I don’t think I’ve seen that movie.

I’ve decided to be a handy bitch! So I built my bed too and a clothing rack. I actually don’t do much crafting or stuff like that because I move all the time so I don’t want to invest in buying things I can’t transport. I keep it light. Maybe one day tho! I watch those videos a lot and am mesmerized.

I can cook but I don’t do it because it’s just me. I just buy a lot of vegetarian or vegan frozen meals or eat out!

#🎶 anon #music anon

[kalinawtokilig]

S/O who gets into fights

Pair(s) : Sugawara Koushi x Reader, Yaku Morisuke x Reader, Akaashi Keiji x Reader, Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader, Semi Eita x Reader 

Ohoh, boi good luck. 

Summary: 

It’s not uncommon for you to get into a fight, as you don’t look nor act the type. You don’t ask to get into a fight nor provoke, you simply attract trouble, (Oh, a problem child,,) But if this person (or people) are talking smack about you, you bet your bum that you’re gonna sit down and let them. Nah, you put’em up. Warning? You ARE the WARNING. 

Sugawara Koushi x Reader

((I love and pimp him. Pimp pimp pimp)) 

He hears it from Yachi. More like, the team does and Nishinoya and Tanaka are ready to throw some hands.

During practice, Yachi, the sweet girl, poor her; she sees you having an intense argument with two other third years when she comes to refill on water bottles. 

She knows you, talking to you a couple of times. You were always a sweet upperclassman, kind and soft to her and the team, even Kageyama and Tsukishima showed you respect in your presence. 

But when one of them swung the first punch to your face, you bet she dropped everything and hauled ass to the gym to call over your boyfriend. 

Sugawara. Ah, yes, the duality of this man. I would say unpredictable, cause some say he’s the responsible type to stop the fight by finding a teacher and others say he’ll unleash Tanaka and Nishinoya. 

I say, he’s the type to KNOW who you are and WHAT you are capable of. Yes, he can join in the fight, but last time he saw you fight someone he was unaware and baffled that you are able to land solid one punch (( WANNA BE SAIKYU HEROOO)) and knock’em out. Nah, he’s the type to collect the aftermath and try to bury the evidence ((What a sweet boyfie <3 )) 

“Suga-san! (Y/N)-san i-is in a fight a-and I think they need help!” She screeches, catching the attention of the team members. 

“Ah, I’ll be back. Gotta collect the corpses.” 

Asahi, Hinata, and Yachi nearly pass out when he says that. “Corpses? (Y/N)-san killed them that quick? And Sugawara is the accessory???” 

When he finally reaches you, though he knows you’re capable of standing your ground, he can’t help but worry the bruises and cuts on you. You may be able to keep standing, but that doesn’t mean you can avoid ALL their hits. 

When he sees your figure, his fingers dig deep into his palms. “(Y/N)?” He calls out to you. You’re huffing and you straighten your back, turning to face him you smile lovingly to him. “Yes, Darling?” 

He may simp for you but that doesn’t mean he can’t lecture you. 

Sighing, he crouches to the two fools who decided to provoke you and talks to them in that tone where you can’t speak because you’re scared of what they’re capable of. He says that he’ll be watching them closely and that if they mention their S/O beating them up, not only will they all get suspended but Sugawara will make sure they’ll never face pride or regain their HONOR back. (ayye zuko wassup ?) 

Standing up, he looks to you and holds your hands as gingerly as possibly, observing the irritated redness on your knuckles and the splotches of small red bloody dots. His nose scrunches cutely as one hand lets go of yours to cup your face carefully because of the now forming bruise on your pretty face. 

Sighing, he smiles, brows furrowed, “Sugar, next time, go easy on them. I don’t want your pretty hands to be so messed up. I love you and I don’t mind bandaging them up and kissing them to make you feel better, but I feel the more you punch the more your hands’ll fall off. Then who am I supposed to hold hands with?”

You can’t help but crack a joke, “Ah yes, losing Daichi and me in the same year, my poor Darling~!” You coo to him. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” 

“Oi!” 

Yaku Morisuke x Reader

((Babie,, cat babie ,,, dangerous babiee,,)) 

While the fiery, third-year, libero of Nekoma dislikes Lev, you absolutely cherish the tall boy and found him cute.

Kuroo makes fun of Yaku saying you should date Lev instead

then you retorted to the rooster head saying that it’ll be weird cause Lev is basically a little brother you’ve always wanted.

One day, after school, while your boyfie was at practice, you were on cleaning duty and overheard some students talking about your two favorite people.

They made fun Lev and then Yaku. They absolutely insulted him for his height and his plays while they made fun of Lev’s intelligence and lack of plays. 

And they chose D E A T H 

“Hah? Whatcha say?!” 

Commence a brawl 

You could’ve used the broomstick by breaking it in half and shanking them but you wanted them to know not to die JUST yet.

You were able to leave satisfied yet still pissed. The other students didn’t speak a peep, as to know not to mess with your temper and if they were a snitch, well, snitches get popped. 

for the ones who talked smack, you both came to the conclusion to say that you guys were playing too rough with the cleaning supplies 

When practice was over, you waited by the gate for your boyfie 

Seeing him, you smiled at him and he came up to you, flicking your jaw

“Ow! Love, what was that for? You’re not give your soldier a loving and tender hug for defending you and our child’s honor?” You pouted cutely to him. 

His eyes widened a bit,  a pink blush on his face until he squinted his eyes at you. “You got into a fight, again.”

“All in good nature, babe!” You stuck out your tongue to him, surprisingly he stuck out his tongue, to lick you with his own. 

“Wha-”

“As much as I love you, you’re lucky that I wasn’t there or I would’ve killed you too to get rid of the evidence.”

“...Aw! You love me so much that you’ll clean my messes, I love you too, Morisuke!” 

“...I love you too, you frickin idiot.” 

Akaashi Keiji x Reader

(Ayyeee back at it again, Akaashi-kun, how ya doin?) 

Akaashi may be a patient man, but this man can hold his patience with a sharp knife and cut it instantly 

It was your movie date and while you waited for Akaashi to get popcorn and snacks, your saw one of your best friends. 

You went up to say hi until you heard them talk bad about you, saying how Akaashi is only dating you to keep an eye on you or how you’re too naive that they obviously don’t want you cause you’re too clingy

with the cold, freezing, slushie, you ‘accidentally’ trip and spill it all over your now ex-bestie

like your bestie, that two-faced bih doesn’t go down without a fight

so basically this was your break-up fight

As he bandages your hands, you were too nervous to speak to him

You weren’t afraid of anything, not failing, not teachers or authority, nor suspencion

Though, you were very afraid of Akaashi’s silent temper

“Ah, Love-”

Pretty boy looks at you so quick you flinch for the upcoming lecture yet he says nothing which makes it even more scary for what he’ll say

“Are you mad at me?” You ask cutely, pouting and looking through your lashes while your head is down in shame

After a couple of minutes waiting for his answer, he sighs

“Blossom, you know how concerned I get when you get into fights. It...” He looks away, “hurts me to see you hurt...I love you a lot that I’m mad at myself that I wasn’t there to help you.” He confesses with a red tint spreading to the tips of his ears. 

Oh dear LORD this man continues to speak heavenly got ME swooning- 

“I should’ve known that friend of yours wasn’t true to you...I’m sorry I couldn’t see that. If you want, we can have Kenma pirate the movie and send us the link. Better than going out, right?” 

((THIS MAN HAS THE AUDACITY TO SMILE LIKE A FRICKIN GOD AHW I HATE IT HERE))

Your eyes sparkle and you launch to hug him, he lets out s strangled yelp as he falls back onto the bed 

Though easy to get into fights, you were easy to cry, as you were emotional to these kinds of things

“AGHAAHHSHI I LOVE YOU I FRICKIN HATE YOU CAUSE YOURE SO PERFECT UWAYWHH” ((omg me))

Chuckling, he buries his head into the crook of your neck, one hand on your side and the other petting your hair

“I love you too, blossom” 

Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

((YEES YES YES YES I  STAN AND I PIMP ,, PIMP PIMP PIMMP))) 

((LOOK AT HIM LOOK AT. HIM.)) 

What a cactus. Don’t we stan? 

I stan. I totally stan. 

When you get into a fight this man KNOWS he’s most likely gonna watch to see if there is any bih to try to hit you while you’re busy fUCKING UP WITH OTHERS WHO MESSED WITH YA

Iwaizumi is literally the chillest ngl 

Will probably join if some CUNT ASS BIH  decides to pull ya hair or pick up some petty stick to beat you with it

((the more i write at 4:30 AM, the more my mind expands to more fight scenarios ohohhhh get ready my friends)) 

Literally the toughest couple

no cap, no one will mess with you unless they’re tryna get f’d in the a in the most unpleasurable way (omg that rhymes) 

Oikawa makes funny and teasing jokes about how you both look so intimidating that you’ll get wrinkles on your faces

“Keep barking, Oikawa, cause I can make sure my kicks can knock off that bitchy attitude <3″

“Why are you and Iwa-chan like this.” 

“Lmao get wrecked Trashykawa.”

Sometimes you act like Oikawa’s guard too, the fans know of your rep around school, so they don’t bother Oikawa as much which means Iwaizumi doesn’t have to spike volleyballs at his head so they can head to practice without any distractions ((Though Iwa still does it when Oikawa gets too flirty when thanking you)) 

Omg I can go forever with Iwa holleeeeemolleee 

I feel,, that when he’s bandaging up your face, your cleaning the cuts on his....chest.... n’ biceps,,,oof to be you... 

I feel like getting into fights can also count as a date

how fun would that be

talking about your fight date with him in front of other ppl who don’t really know you

I imagine you and iwa-babes talking and you’re like, staring so lovingly at his face and reach to touch the cut above his lip and you’re reminiscing 

“Babes, remember when we fought those two losers at the parking lot of a Target?”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. That dickbag got his ass handed to you, nice right hook by the way.”

Then the strangers RUDELY overhearing are like ‘Wth??? is this?? real?? did they actually fight two people?’

You did.

Oikawa posted it.

Semi Eita x Reader

((Grey haired babes hit different, y’know?)) 

he’ll just be >:|

I can’t say he’ll be mad at you, but more like, concerned that his face looks mad

The same with Akaashi, you’re waiting for him to lecture you, but he’s quiet when he’s...worried,,concerned

You got into a fight because some BIHS from another sports team talked shit about the volleyball team, SPECIFICALLY your boyfie (how convenient for the plot) 

You may be smol but you have HELLFIRE

“AYE WANNA SAY IT TO MY FACE MUTHA-”

Long story short,,, you may have won the battle, but you are unsure if the war will reign supreme, by war I mean you’re preparing for Semi’s scolding

Waiting in his dorm room, you played the soundtrack he made for you and patiently waited until he came back from practice

When HE DOES come from practice, he opened the door to see you sleeping on the floor, back against his bed and when he was going to quietly coo at how cute you look, he gets a closer look at the split lip and bruised knuckles

...You have...a tampon shoved up your nose? 

“Muse. Bubs.” He cups your cheek, then patting it gently. 

When you wake up, you jump back

“BUBs, beh, listen, I, may have done something to someone out of provocation and insults whereas I also defended not only myself-” You wince at he narrows his lovely eyes at you, peering for you to go on (omg you frickin simp)

“I have protected you and your team from their,, falsehoods”

(Why are you talking like that lmao)

He blinks once. twice. going to his bathroom, he gets the first aid kid he ALWAYS had to restock because his babes CANT STOP GETTING INTO FIGHTS so he can patch you up 

“I love you, but we can take their idiocy, it’s just your idiocy I’m worried about...” He continues on, then he starts to listen to the music you’re playing

you’re playing one of his playlists he made for you

specifically, “When I’m with You <3″

He becomes flustered and you wonder if HE’S okay 

“Sh-Shut up, stupid! Stop getting into fights!” 

#akaashi x reader #akaashi x you #akaashi keji x reader #sugawara x reader #sugawara x you #sugawara koshi x reader #yaku x reader #yaku morisuke x reader #yaku morisuke x you #iwaizumi x you #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi hajime x you #semi eita x you #semi eita x reader #semi x you #semi x reader

[watchmegetobsessed]

And I always will - Tom Holland

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

week 3 babies! it’s been so long since i last wrote for Tom and this story just screamed for him when I made up the plot. so here is some cute friends to lovers christmas edition! updated the fanficmas post with next week’s fic and added another one for the 24th, check it out if you are interested!

word count: 4.2k

masterlist

It’s not a date, it’s not a date, it’s not a date!

That’s your mantra for the evening and the closer the time is coming when Tom is picking you up, the louder you’re shouting it in your mind. Well, while it was sure he was nowhere near your apartment you physically kept telling yourself, heart pounding in your chest with each passing moment, but when he texted you that he’d be there in five you shut yourself up.

Stepping to the mirror you take one last look at yourself in your simple black dress and red blazer, a simple but fitting look for the annual Christmas party of the company you’re working for. You tug your hair behind your ears to make your earrings more apparent, they are like little red Christmas ornaments, the perfect touch up for the occasion and you also happen to know Tom loves how you wear them around the holidays every year.

This whole thing started a week ago when he was over for a movie night, something you often did when he was in town and you whined about having to go to the company party alone again and listen to your boss comment on how she was already married at your age. She is a very old school woman with strong beliefs that a woman should be able to catch herself a man at an early age if she doesn’t want to end up alone for the rest of her life.

You were only twenty three, not at all in rush to settle down, but you hated the teasing and commenting every year. It happened all through the year, but it was the worst at the Christmas party, because then she had the time to talk to you without the distraction of work, so she was able to touch on more personal topics as well.

Tom listened to you patiently, letting you rage about the irritation even the thought brings to you every year before proposing his idea.

“I could go with you and pretend to be your boyfriend.”

The words rolled off his tongue so easily, like it was nothing at all, when in reality it put your stomach into a knot immediately. It might have not mean anything to him other than just a friendly request but it meant so much more to you, being in love with the man for years.

Cliché, right? Falling for your best friend and keeping your emotions bottled up because you’re too afraid to come clear and possibly ruin your friendship. It sounds like a horrible teen movie, but this is the truth. It’s not something you can just blurt out without having to overthink about all the possible outcomes that would send you into a rabbit hole of the worst case scenarios until you are scared to talk about your feelings for life.

You were hesitant about his idea, but like every time, he managed to talk your ears off and convince that it would be a great idea.

“Lots are already thinking we are a couple, it would be easy!” he assured you, and he gave you a sly, cocky smirk, one you can never resist. So naturally, you said yes at the end and that brings you to this evening, when you’re nervously waiting for him to arrive to pick you up so the two of you could go to that stupid party together, pretending to be a couple.

You keep pacing back and forth in the small hallway as you wait for him to arrive and when you hear the knock on the door you jump.

It’s not a date, Y/N! Just pretentious!

You keep telling yourself your little mantra as you stride over to the door and open it for him. And there he is, handsome as ever, wearing black dress pants and a nice, crispy looking white shirt under his wool coat, the top buttons of the shirt left undone to let your greedy eyes a little hint of his toned chest underneath the fabric. You need to stop yourself from sucking on your breath, he looks so great, not just now, but all the damn time, making you feel lightheaded with just a simple smile.

“You look beautiful, girlfriend,” he tells you, putting a teasing tone into the last word and though it was just a joke, it made your heart flutter for sure.

“Thank you, boyfriend,” you shyly smile, the word tastes so sweet on your tongue, but there’s some hidden pain behind it.

“Ready to go?” You nod and grab your coat and purse before shutting the door behind you and locking the door.

The ride is short, but feels like forever. You’re anxiously chewing on your bottom lip, heart pounding in your chest and you fear that Tom might hear it and question you about it. This is so nerve-wrecking, and so not how you imagined to be his girlfriend for the first time.

Though it’s the closest you’ll get to the title, probably, you tell yourself, stomach churning at the thought.

“Hey,” Tom’s soft voice grabs your attention when he stops at a red light. “Nervous?”

“Just a little,” you nod shortly. “I just… want to my boss to take me seriously for once,” you lie, because there’s absolutely no way you are telling him it’s him that makes you shit your panties.

“I’ll be right there with you and we’ll charm the shit out of that woman,” he smirks making you laugh at his words.

“Hope so,” you mumble with a sigh, turning back to stare out the window.

Tom parks down in an empty spot near the venue that holds the part and he helps you out of the car giving you a hand, but he doesn’t let go of it once you are standing on your feet, holding your hand and even lacing your fingers together. When he gives it a gentle squeeze you peek up at him and notice that he is looking down at your with a warm smile as if he is trying to tell you that it’s gonna be alright without words. You try to swallow your anxious thoughts and hope he doesn’t find your hand too sweaty as the two of you head inside.

You work for a huge marketing company, one of the biggest ones in London. You landed an assistant job two years ago, fresh out of college and worked yourself up to be a fulltime graphic designer, mostly working on visuals for smaller campaigns running in the company, but you were proud of your work and enjoyed it to the fullest. One of the lead designers is rumored to retire sometime next year and you were hoping to be considered for his spot, thought there are quite a lot who has been working there for a longer time, but you felt like you have proven yourself to be suitable for the job. Tonight you are praying to charm your boss so she would move your name forward in the process and earn you a few good points at the admission, but this meant that you have to make her believe you are the definition of couple goals so she would get off your back and finally see that you are trying your best to move forward in life.

The venue is one big ball room, several tables set on the sides with the department’s name on the table to let people know where to sit, the luxurious decoration making the whole place appear like Winter Wonderland straight out of a fairytale. There’s a stage at the very back with a DJ already playing and a dancefloor in the middle, some guests are busting their best dance moves there, while others are enjoying the open buffet that runs along the two sides, tables filled with the most delicious looking meals.

A waiter greets you both, offering you champagne and you gladly take a glass while Tom shakes his head with a soft “I’m driving, thank you”.

Looking around you see some familiar faces but there are a lot new ones. The company has a whole office building with five floors and one usually stays on their own floor throughout the working days, you don’t interact much, so it’s hard to tell who you are working with on a wider level.

“Do you know where we are sitting?” Tom asks leaning closer to your ear so you hear what he is saying over the music and as his hot breath hits your neck it sends a shiver down your spine.

He is so close and his hand feels so warm on mine, you think to yourself while your eyes scan the place, trying to find your colleagues. When you spot them you pull Tom in their direction, plastering a nervous smile on your lips.

“Hi everyone!” you greet them arriving to the big, circular table. You work with a team of ten designers, some of them are older, but there are two around your age. Sally is twenty-five, her desk is right across yours and you’ve become closer, eating lunch together almost every day, and then there’s Owen, who is basically the office’s gossip source, always knows what happened to who and he makes sure to give the word away to the right people. Your older colleagues find him nosy, but you think it’s funny how he can still get any information from anyone even though he is known to have a big mouth. There’s just something about a tall, gay dude who approaches you with a sly smile, it’s like he puts a spell on people and they magically start talking. He often joins you and Sally for lunch, the three of you forming a club of young, ambitious people, holding each other up so you don’t get crushed by the judgy thirties.

When Owen looks up from his cocktail he almost spits it out seeing Tom standing next to you, holding your hand firmly.

“Little miss Y/N?! What is this supposed to be?” he gasps dramatically and you just chuckle shaking your head at him.

“This, is my uhh—This is my boyfriend, Tom,” you nervously introduce him and he waves around politely.

“Hi, nice to meet you all,” he calls out and most just acknowledge him with a nod and a hello, but Owen is over the roof that you just appeared with Tom Holland by your side.

“Why haven’t you tell me you were fucking Spider-Man himself?” he continues to rage and you almost choke on your own saliva hearing his words. Your cheeks start to heat up, but seemingly Tom doesn’t feel as uncomfortable as you, he just chuckles lightly, before pulling out your seat to help you sit before he takes the seat next to you.

Sally, who is sitting between you and Owen just slaps his chest in a warning manner.

“Control yourself!” she scolds him, but it only earns her an eye-roll.

“I’m sorry, but I feel offended I didn’t know about this,” he explains pointing at you and Tom.

“I hope you understand that I like to keep my private life, well, private. So it’s my fault Y/N hasn’t been bragging about us.” Tom rescues you from making up some stupid lie and you’re happy you didn’t have to say a word, so you just chug down half of your champagne in hopes it would ease your nerves a little.

Surprisingly, Owen backs off immediately, giving you a knowing look, as if he understood so well the life of a well-known actor even though he was far from being one.

“Oh, totally. I get it, don’t worry about it, Tom. Though I’m sure she’s been dying to talk about you all along.”

“Has she?” Tom teasingly looks down at you and you just let out an awkward chuckle nodding.

“Yeah. Exactly,” you mumble finishing off your champagne and putting it to the table. Tom can easily tell how nervous you are, so he puts a hand to your knee under the table and gives it a gentle squeeze, leaving it there afterwards, but it just rises your anxiety level. You are highly aware of every touch and look, as if your senses became hypersensitive all of a sudden, but only to Tom.

“So how long you two have been together?” Sally asks with a warm smile, trying her best to steal the opportunity from Owen to talk so he doesn’t say anything inappropriate and you are endlessly thankful to her for that.

“Um, couple of months,” you say the first thing that comes to your mind and from the corner of your eye you see Tom just nod along your words.

“And how do you know each other if I might ask?”

“We’ve been friends for a long time, actually,” Tom speaks up this time. “Y/N’s dad used to work with my dad when we were younger and we sort of became friends. I was always in love with her, though it took me a long time to grow the balls to ask her out.” You are stunned at how easily he is talking about something that’s not real, as if he has been building up this story in his mind for a while, but that can’t be the case of it.

“Oh, this is so cute! And did you feel the same way?” Sally asks you. Licking your lips you glance over at Tom.

“Yeah. Loved him all along,” you softly say and it’s the truth, however he will probably never know about it.

“It’s like in the movies!” Sally gasps, holding her hand to her chest.

Tom’s eyes still hold yours and he gives your knee another squeeze that makes you take a deep breath before you tear your gaze away from him, feeling giddy and lightheaded.

You stay at the table a little longer before the two of you head to fill your plates before everything is fully gone. It’s kind of a relief to get away from Owen and Sally, you hated lying to them, but you had no choice.

“Everything alright?” Tom asks, brushing a hand against the small of your back as the two of you stand at the buffet, looking at the food.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you nod with a weak smile. “Just a little nervous,” you admit.

“Don’t be, we are doing just fine,” he smirks and leaning down he kisses your forehead gently. It’s nothing new, he often does this and the gesture always manages to pull you out of your boiling thoughts and it has the same effect this time as well. You feel like you can breathe again after holding it in for a long time.

You carelessly glance over your shoulder as you wait for Tom to finish packing his plate up with veggies when you spot your boss talking to a guy who you recall works as an accountant on a higher level. Her eyes move just enough to meet yours and you suck on your breath when she spots Tom next to you, right when he reaches out mindlessly sliding a hand to your waist.

“Oh God, she saw us,” you mumble under your breath as you watch her excuse herself from the guy and head in your way.

“Hm? What?” Tom lifts his head and his eyes quickly find the tall, lean woman walking towards you with ambitious and confident steps. Mrs. Winston is the kind of woman that could easily intimidate any high power man in the industry, and she worked hard to be where she is now. However, you don’t necessarily always share her beliefs of the world and life, for instance her vision of a woman marrying a man as young as possible.

“Y/N? Who is this handsome man you brought tonight?” she asks right away, eyes landing on Tom who has put his plate to the table behind him and circled an arm around your waist. Before you could even get a word out, Tom extends his other hand out for her, with a charming smile.

“Tom Holland. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Winston. I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.”

Oh God, you’ll never get used to hearing him say that and you’re amazed he remembered her name even though you just mentioned it earlier.

“Nice to meet you too. Call me Carol,” she smiles, seemingly already loving Tom and honestly, you can’t blame her. “I saw that you were bringing a plus one, but I was expecting a relative,” she comments finally paying you a glance and you can feel the sharpness in it, how she partially meant it as an insult, but you just smile at her widely.

“Oh, no. Hope you don’t mind it.”

“Not at all. So tell me, why do you look so familiar, Tom?”

“I’m an actor, you might have seen me in movies.” It takes Mrs. Winston to put the picture together, but when she eventually does, she gives you a highly approving look.

“Well yes! Now I remember! I think my son in law is a big fan.”

“Give him my best wishes,” Tom nods with a warm smile.

“You know, I’m happy to see Y/N finally with a worthy man by her side. I always told her to grab herself a good one before she runs out of time,” Mrs. Winston starts her usual sermon.

“Oh, I think Y/N is perfect on her own, I think she is an amazing individual,” Tom replies and your and Mrs. Winston’s eyebrows rise at the same time. “I don’t think a woman needs a man by her side to make her complete and I admire her strength as a person on her own, not just in a relationship.”

“Don’t you think a woman needs the support of a man to succeed in this man dominated world we live in?”

“Not at all,” he shakes his head confidently and you feel him pull you closer to his side while you listen to his words curiously. “I think women deserve the recognition of them and their work and not to have it overshadowed by any men. I’m proud to be Y/N’s boyfriend and I’ll support her through everything, but I would never let anyone think of her as just a part of our relationship, or the person connected to me, because she is so much more than that and I want everyone to recognize that.”

You are at a loss of words, you knew Tom was a feminist, supporting women’s rights passionately, but you never heard him talk about it in a close relation with you. His words twisted your heart in the best possible way and though tonight is all about faking, something is telling you that these are his genuine thoughts, except the part about your relationship, but he could easily mean just your friendship under that.

Mrs. Winston seems stunned at the honest and forward answer, though you can tell it surprised her that someone went against her beliefs. However, it doesn’t seem like she is upset about it, more like she appreciates the balls that someone spoke up.

Her eyes fall back on you and there’s a small smile tugging at her red lips.

“He is a keeper, Y/N,” she simply tells you before walking away.

“Holy shit,” you breathe out when she is far away. Tom gives your waist another squeeze as he glances down at you with a smirk. “It’s like you put a spell on her!”

“I’m a charming bastard,” he shrugs smugly before grabbing his plate from the table and the two of you make your way back to the table.

Following the little talk with your boss you feel a lot more relaxed, knowing that Tom charmed the shit out of the woman. Now you are starting to enjoy the party, laughing with Sally and Owen and you’re happy to see that Tom is getting along with them pretty well too.

When the DJ starts playing All I Want For Christmas, the whole room cheers as one and most guests rush to the dance floor, that includes you and Tom as well.

He keeps you close, twirling you and moving around with you to the song, even singing it just like most people around you. Looking around you spot Mrs. Winston dancing as well, a lot more reserved than you, but she looks like she’s genuinely having a good time. She winks at you when your eyes meet and she sees Tom wrap an arm around your waist. You feel yourself blushing and you turn back to him, earning a sweet smile from him as he is enjoying the party.

When the song ends, the DJ slows it down a few knots playing Christmas Lights by Coldplay, people start to leave the dancefloor, only couple staying to slow dance to the song. Your eyes meet Tom and you thought he might want to go back to the table, but instead, his arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you to his chest, starting to sway to the rhythm.

You try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as you feel his body pressed against yours, his hands holding your waist firmly, and you cheek is next to his, occasionally brushing in the motions. You run your hands up his broad shoulders and rest them behind his neck, a shiver running down your spine when you hear him sing the lines into your ear:

“Like some drunken Elvis singing, I go singing out of tune, saying how I always loved you darling and I always will.”

You lean back just enough to look into his eyes, feeling like the words he sang were a message addressed straight to you and you needed to see it in his look. When your gazes meet your heart skips a beat when they validate your thoughts. He sang those lines on purpose and he wanted you to hear them, but still, you can’t bring yourself to say or do something. You just stand there, wrapped in his arms, eyes lost in his, swaying gently to the song.

He brings a hand up to your face and tugs your hair behind your ears, his yes fall to your earring and he can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips.

“I don’t know if this is the right time, but I feel like it is,” he softly starts, seemingly having a hard time to find his words. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?” you breathe out faintly.

“I love you.”

The words almost push you out of your balance, and you feel like you are falling down in a deep, endless hole. He said the words you’ve been aching to hear from him for so long, he really said them and he is looking at you with eyes you’ve only seen in the mirror when you were thinking about telling him about your feelings. But this time the look belongs to him and he is breathlessly waiting for you to say something in return.

“I love you too,” you softly tell him, brushing your fingers gently along his jawline. He breaks a relieved smile, but then furrows his eyebrows in a serious expression.

“Just to make it sure, you are not talking about a friendly love, right?”

You can’t help but let out a chuckle, shaking your head at him.

“No. Not friendly,” you assure him and he sighs in relief again.

“Great, because it would have been really awkward.”

You bite into your bottom lip, shyly staring up at him, a little lost about what should be said or done next, when you hear Owen call out from behind you.

“You guys are standing under the mistletoe! Kiss!”

First you turn to look at him and then you follow the direction where he is pointing and you see that you are in fact standing under a little mistletoe, hanging from the ceiling. Turning to face Tom you shyly smile at him, while he looks way more confident in himself.

“We can’t break the rule,” he chuckles teasingly, making you laugh as well before leaning down he captures your lips in a sweet, breathtaking kiss.

You feel like a teenager again, the butterflies are going wild in your stomach and you’re pretty sure your hands are shaking, but you couldn’t care less. All you could think about is Tom and that you were finally kissing him. Teenage you would lose her mind knowing you finally got to kiss him, after all those years of secretly dreaming about it.

Tom kisses you again and again until you both are breathing heavily, so he pulls back a little, resting his forehead against yours, his hands keeping you close to him.

“Wanna get out of here?” he breathes out and you nod your head eagerly.

“Fuck yes,” you chuckle making him laugh as well before he grabs your hand and pulls you back to the table to grab your stuff and then head out.

You don’t bother to say goodbye, or tell anyone you’ve left, you were busy feeling Tom’s hands touching you wherever he could, his lips finding yours every other minute. You both are a hot mess in the car on the way home and when you finally reach your apartment, you turn on the Christmas lights in your room, before Tom pulls you down to the bed and makes love to you all through the night.

-

general/forever taglist for Tom Holland

i do separate taglists for different people, but not for different works of mine! if you ask to be on my Tom taglist, you’ll be tagged in all of my Tom fics!

@zaahidahhh @shawn-youth  @wildflower-cth @imaginashawnns @haute-shawn  @learning-howto-be-myselfx3 @cutepenguin1 @madatmendes @harrysleftchelseaboot  @sarcasticallywitty15 @dontworrysunflower​

if you’d like to be taken off or added to the list, please let me know!

#tom #holland #tom holland #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland au #tom holland fluff #tom holland oneshot #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fictions #fanficmas #fanficmas2020 #fanficmas 2020 #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas #watchmegetobsessed fanficmas 2020

[ahkaahshi]

stay here [iwaizumi hajime x reader]

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x fem reader

genre: smut (18+) and fluff

warning(s): explicit sexual content, penetrative sex, a bit of dub-con (bc of the fact that alcohol was involved), alcohol consumption, swearing, brief mentions of toxic relationships

word count: 3.5k

overview: a post break-up night at the club with your best friend ends a bit differently than you’d expected

notes: a commission for the lovely @devlovesiwa-channn​! sorry this took so long bb but I hope the wait was worth it! thanks for supporting me ily ❤️

The heavy bass pulsating through the club shakes every bone in your body as you sit at the bar, head propped up by your hand and fingers tapping against the side of your face to the beat of the song playing. From where he is beside you, Iwaizumi watches you breathe out another, long sigh with furrowed eyebrows.

“Oi,” he barks, drawing your (e/c) gaze to his dark one illuminated by the bright lights flashing from the ceiling, “Quit thinking about that jerk, would ya?”

With a roll of the eyes, you retort, “You say that like it’s so easy, Hajime. I did just get my heart broken not even a week ago.”

“And you say that like I’m clueless. Don’t forget who’s spent the past—what is it now? Five?—nights over at your place, watching movies with you and making sure you get to bed at a decent time.” His words elicit an immediate feeling of guilt that wells up inside your gut and makes you avert your gaze to search for the bartender who should be finishing up your drinks any moment now.

What he’d said was entirely true, and you knew it. Ever since you’d gotten out of a relationship earlier that week, you’d been a bit of an emotional wreck. Mountains of snack wrappers and tissues had already been piled up in the trash bin placed in your room when Iwaizumi had first showed up at your apartment after hearing about the news. He’d sat with you every evening this week, huddled beneath the covers of your bed or a pile of blankets on the couch while you’d switched between directing words seething with venom towards your ex and struggling to speak through sobs. He’d made sure that you’d eaten your meals, gone to bed at a decent hour, and had done everything in his power to be the friend you’d needed.

So, to even mention that you’d just endured a heartbreak like he had no idea about the situation was nothing less than a slap in the face to him—and you knew it. However, the noticeable discomfort written on your face has Iwaizumi shaking his head as if trying to negate the harshness of his statement.

“Hey,” he tries again in as soft a voice he can use when he’s having to compete with the music blaring, “all I’m saying is that I’ve seen the hell you’ve been put through because of that asshole, so I want you to be able to take your mind off of it for a bit and enjoy this night out, okay?”

You can’t help but chuckle in a way that reflects how jaded you feel by your predicament but shoot him a small smile anyway as you respond, “No promises.”

“We’ll see about that,” he challenges, a smirk flashing across his lips when the bartender sets down two shot glasses on the metal bar top before you. As if in synchronization, the two of you reach for your drinks at the same time and clink them together in a toast. “Here’s to a good night.”

After downing your shot, squeezing your eyes shut and taking a sharp inhale at the burning sensation of the alcohol traveling down your throat, you state, “Gonna need a few more before we get started with that.” Iwaizumi nearly chokes when you raise your hand to summon the bartender for an instant refill so you can tilt your head back once more to knock another one down. “What?” you question upon noticing his wary gaze, “You said you wanted me to have fun, didn’t you?”

“I’m not hauling your ass out of here if you get wasted, (f/n).”

“Guess our definitions of fun are a bit different, then.” He clenches his jaw and grunts with indignation at your response, and you laugh heartily at his annoyance, reaching over to graze the sleeve of his floral button-up shirt with your fingers. “I’m kidding! I promise I’ll stay conscious.” Another, louder murmur of disagreement that echoes from behind his pursed lips has you rolling your eyes and placing both your hands on his muscular shoulders. “Learn how to take a joke, would ya?”

He huffs, “It’d be easier to if what you’d just said hadn’t actually happened before.”

Sighing, you move your grip from his shoulders to the hem of your skirt, holding it down as you hop off the barstool. “Well, if I have to choose between sitting here, recounting my unfortunate run-ins with alcohol or dancing to this mediocre song, I think I’m gonna head to the dance floor.” After attempting to give your friend money for the drinks that he refuses out of kindness, since your plans for the evening had been made by him to begin with, you offer, “You know where to find me,” before making your way through the throngs of clubbers to the dance floor at the other end of the venue.

Iwaizumi shakes his head as he watches your figure disappear in amongst the sea of people and turns his attention to the empty shot glass he’s taken to tracing his fingers along pensively. As much as he wants to ignore the thoughts that have a habit of returning each time he sees you fall out of love with someone else, he can’t seem to rid himself of them—of the idea that maybe, just maybe, things would be different if you were with him instead. All this time, he’d been sitting on the sidelines, forced to play spectator in the games that other men seemed to enjoy playing with your heart while knowing damn well he would treat you with the respect you deserved.

It makes him a bit angry for you, actually, the way others haven’t known what to do with your heart after you’ve given it to them. He knows better than most that you can’t help who you choose to fall in love with—since he’s felt a natural affinity towards you since the first moment he met you—yet he can’t help but hope, after each of your breakups, that you give him a chance with your heart instead. However, out of respect for you, since you haven’t given him any indications that you might return his feelings, he’s kept quiet and maintained your close friendship.

The nagging thoughts persist, and each time, he shoves them into the darkest corner of his mind so he can help you pick up the pieces of your heart after another man drops it.

But they return when he eventually ventures out to the dance floor to find you after you’d returned to the bar for another round of shots to fuel your agenda of forgetting about your ex and sauntered away once more. Navigating through the waves of gyrating bodies finally brings him within a few feet’s distance of where you stand, swaying along to the music without a care in the world. 

As he watches you with the same admiration he would give the only twinkling star in a dark, nighttime sky, he wonders how your former boyfriend could’ve ever thought to treat you the way he had—with such blatant disregard for your feelings. Anyone who tried to dim your light wasn’t the one for you, and now all he wants is for you to shine brighter than you had before. Whether or not you do so for him doesn’t matter in his eyes. He just wants to see your radiance and happiness return.

Just as he’s about to approach you so he can join in on the fun, the song changes into one he knows well—because it’s your favorite. He can’t count the number of times he’s listened to you belt out the lyrics while driving or caught glimpses of you performing bits of the choreographed routine you must’ve created whenever you hear it played in a public setting, but what he sees unfold before him this time is entirely different to anything he’s witnessed before. 

Even if he didn’t want to look, it’s impossible to ignore you when the thin veil of sweat over your skin makes you shine under the bright, multicolored lights in a dazzling display as you move to the beat. With the way your body’s undulating in cadence with the music, a seductive look on your face while your hands run from your torso down to your thighs, you’ve attracted more than a few hungry gazes. But his is the only one that you meet with your own, silently beckoning him over to you moments before you lift a finger to summon him in a request to join you. His feet carry him across the distance separating the two of you without a second thought.

There’s a gentle, somewhat amused smile on his face at seeing you finally letting loose, but it soon becomes much more serious when he feels your fingers clench around the fabric of his shirt. The space around you is hot and charged, and you’re barely able to tell one direction from the other with the way your head’s spinning in a pleasant buzz from the alcohol, but you know exactly what you’re doing. The heat of his body radiates onto your hands as you run them along his toned torso while singing along to the song’s lyrics, and you relish in the way his dark eyes are traveling along every inch of your skin.

When your hands reach his, you turn your back towards him and place his palms on both sides of your waist. Feeling his hold on you tighten and strong fingers pressing against your skin spurs you to grind your hips against him slowly in an attempt at testing the waters. He encourages your actions by pulling you closer to him and moving in synchronization with you. His acceptance and reciprocation of your invitation has heat pooling in your stomach and your heart fluttering in your chest.

The way your bodies as one, like they’ve been created to fit perfectly together in this moment has any restraint you would’ve normally shown evaporating completely. In your mind, you only want him. You’ve known that. You’ve known that for so long, yet you’d been out chasing down other men who’d inevitably become the sources of your heartaches. Now, you think it’s high time you finally go after who it is you’ve truly been yearning for in silence for far too long.

Once a change in the song brings an end to your fairly explicit dancing, you turn to face him again, (e/c) eyes drifting from his own down to his lips as your hands instinctively find his arms to steady yourself in amongst all the movement surrounding you. He seems to hesitate for a moment, since the two of you stand and stare at each other in silence despite the bass sending vibrations through your chests, but he eventually finds the courage to act on his desires. In an instant, his large hand is moving to cup your face and bring it closer to his so he can press a strong kiss against your lips.

A mixture of exhaustion and utter euphoria knocks the wind out of your lungs, sending soft pants tumbling out of your mouth when he finally breaks the kiss. “Hajime…” you utter, voice barely audible above the vocals bouncing off every surface of the club’s interior.

The distinct scent of alcohol taints the breath that fans across your face when he asks, “Yeah?”

“I want you. I want you so badly. Please.” The confession falls off your lips with such ease that you question why you haven’t been able to say it all this time.

A curse word escapes his mouth in a gentle whisper, and you can feel his hard-on against your body when he pulls you in for another heated kiss. “Wanna get out of here?” he wonders. Your enthusiastic nod forms a smile across his lips, and his arm is wrapping around your waist to safely guide you through the crowds so he can sort out a ride home.

What happens next all feels like a blur to you, since all you can think about the entire car ride back is having Iwaizumi’s hands all over your body the moment you get to your doorstep. It appears you’re not the only one who’s impatient, since he’s caging you against the wall in the entryway with his body moments after you’ve kicked off your shoes and locking lips with you once more. The combination of the booze and the pleasure is making your head spin, but you’re able to take his hand and pull him into the bedroom with you so your back can be against the mattress instead.

The strong, passionate nature of his sloppy, open-mouthed kisses serves as a telltale sign of how long he’s been waiting to experience such an intimate moment with you. All along, he’d thought he would want to take his time in this situation—trailing gentle kisses across every inch of your skin and making sure no part of you is left needing his tender but firm touch. However, in the heat of the moment, he’s quick to abandon any ideals of a slower pace, intent on ravishing you.

Your fingers fumble with the buttons on his shirt so you can push it off his broad shoulders as his hands work on yanking off your little clubbing outfit. You can feel your heart pounding in your chest with excitement at the new, uncharted territory you’re both delving into together. For the first time in the many years you’ve known one another, you’re seeing each other at your most vulnerable states.

A gentle moan sounds from your throat at the feeling of his fingers traveling between your legs so they can slide along the saturated fabric covering your slit. Wrapping your arms around his back and pulling him closer to you, you bring your hot bodies flush against one another so you can taste more of the alcohol lingering on his tongue. He swallows another whimper you release when his fingers shove your panties aside so they can toy with your sensitive clit. The sharp sensation of your fingernails pressing into his skin makes him grunt gently, but also sends a rush through him like a buzz of electricity.

“That feel good?” he murmurs, his deep voice prompting your walls to clamp around his thick fingers as he pushes them inside of you.

Hips bucking at his thumb stroking your pearl and legs already shaking from just how mesmerizing his touch is alone, you nod in response and breathe, “So good.” His lips return to yours for another kiss before forming a smile as they press against your jawline, neck, and collarbone, slowly making their way down towards your breasts. Feeling his tongue drag across one of your hardened nipples has you crying out softly as your hands fly to his head, fingers carding through his dark hair.

The delicacy with which he’s sucking on your pebbled bud sharply contrasts the fast, fervent motions of his fingers thrusting into your warm, wet core, edging closer and closer to your sweet spot each time.

“H-Hajime!” Your voice shudders when his name tumbles off your tongue. “Want you inside of me… please, baby.”

Hearing your voice become so needy and desperate as you beg has him groaning against your skin. “Wanna cum all over my cock, princess?” he suggests lowly, moving his head away from your breasts so he can look down at your eyes clouded with lust.

Your heart skips a beat at the name he calls you in jest being used in this situation instead, and you gaze up at him with a mixture of awe and affection burning in your chest until your mouth falls open again at his fingers kneading your sweet spot. You moan loudly in place of the words you’d meant to say, but continue once you take a breath, “Yes! Please, fill me up!”

The way you sound makes him want to do anything for you, and he withdraws his fingers from inside your core so he can unbuckle his belt and push his pants down. Your eyes widen at the sight of his large dick adorned with beads of precum, which he notices and acknowledges by rubbing soothing circles on your thighs while he rids you of your soaked underwear and spreads your legs further apart so he can slot his torso between them. “You can take me, baby; I know you can,” he reassures you in between gentle pecks to your lips.

You hum in agreement, your gaze focusing on his as he aligns his leaking cockhead with your entrance and pushes inside you slowly, stretching your walls in a way that sends currents of both pain and pleasure shooting through your body. He groans, “Oh, fuck; you feel so good,” while your pussy swallows him inch by inch until he’s fully sheathed inside your inviting warmth. He starts with a slower pace than expected given how quickly he was thrusting his fingers into you just moments earlier, rocking his hips against yours and nudging your cervix.

“Faster, Hajime, please,” you beg breathlessly, “I need you.”

A particularly hard thrust he can’t hold back at hearing your request has you mewling with both surprise and satisfaction. “I’m gonna fuck you so good,” he growls, heavy breaths falling onto your ear as he picks up his pace and intensity, filling your stomach with a familiar warmth, “Gonna be the best you’ve ever had.”

His strong hand gripping your hip, lifting you up slightly to meet the angle of his precise thrusts—despite the animalistic desire that’s overcome him—has your legs trembling where they’re wrapped around his waist. The sound of his skin smacking against yours is barely audible above your own moans mingling with his loud grunts. All you can feel is him. Every inch of his body, every ridge of each muscle beneath his hot skin, and every ragged sigh that fans over your neck. He’s all you want, and you can’t help but voice your desires over and over again in the form of his name.

“H-Hajime, I’m gonna cum!” you squeal when he starts drilling deeper inside of you, sending waves of pleasure flowing over your body with each thrust. Your toes are curling, your heart’s racing, every muscle in your body’s tensing as you dangle on the edge of your orgasm—so tantalizingly close to coming undone.

He seems to know what you need to reach the state of euphoria you’re craving, since he pulls out of you to flip you over onto your stomach. The room tilts around you ever so slightly at the sudden change in orientation, but your head drops to the comforter when he pulls your hips up towards his and slams into from behind instead. More feverish sounds of pleasure and begs of “Don’t stop!” leave your mouth unabashedly when the sensations overwhelming you slacken your jaw and create white spots in your vision.

“That’s it!” Iwaizumi hisses as your pussy spasms around him and you cry out his name in the heat of your orgasm, “Fuck, baby; you’re gonna make me cum.”

Your velvety walls clenching around his dick so affectionately and your hips thrashing against his as you ride out your high has him reaching his as well moments later, and he releases inside of you, filling you to the brim with warmth. His hands on your hips keep them in place while he finishes, and he remains inside of you a few seconds afterwards before pulling out and lying down on the bed beside you.

“Fuck…” you sigh as your chest rises and falls with deep breaths. The exasperated tone in your voice causes worry to bubble in Iwaizumi’s chest for a brief moment until you turn to regard him with a bright smile. “That was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

“Glad you feel that way too,” is his response delivered with a chuckle.

In the darkness only interrupted by pale shards of moonlight seeping in between the blinds, your hand finds his face so you can tilt it towards yours and press another, tender kiss against his lips. “I’m sorry,” you whisper even though your mouths are still connected.

“Why?” His fingers brush your hair away from your face on their way to rest at the nape of your neck.

“Because I should’ve been with you all this time and not those other losers.” There’s a short pause, bathing the room in silence save for the beating of your heart against your ribcage. “I love you, Hajime—and I have loved you—but I’ve just been running away because I’m scared of ruining things like I have with other guys.”

The warmth his lips spread over your body when they return to yours puts you at ease, as does his arm snaking around your waist to pull you closer to him.

“I love you too, (f/n),” he confesses, pecking the crown of your head, “So how about you stop running and stay here with me, hmm?”

Nestling your face against the crook of his neck and taking a deep breath, you sigh, “That’s all I want.”

masterlist ⭐︎ treat me to a coffee!

taglists (see pinned post on my blog for form)

general: @dinablossom​​, @newfriendjen​​, @devlovesiwa-channn​​, @ohbyunhunn​, @aftcrlust​​, @mister-future​​, @kyleclxin​​, @kac-chowsballs​​, @osamusmiya​​, @nit-sir-hc​​, @arixtsukki​​, @shinsurou​​, @ichorizaki​​, @dominikmagnus​​, @yamagucji​​

iwaizumi: @misora-msby​,@lotsoffandomrecs​, @tsumue​, @heyhinata​, @cuddlysoftbear​

#haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi smut #haikyuu smut #haikyuu fanfiction #x reader #reader insert #tw alcohol #tw dubcon #ahkaahshi gets wild #fran writes hq!!

[beigehearts]

The Price of Self Respect

Read part one here! PART II CW: mutilation, gore, puke

 1,729 words

____________________________________________

He’s observing you, every inch of your body. He stared as if you were an art piece, but you begin to wonder what was the true meaning behind it. His grin disappears as if he realizes he’s showing too much emotion. “I never thought the creator would look like this. Though it’s never good to assume.” 

Somehow his comment struck a chord in you, and you aren’t someone to stay quiet. “I never thought the Spider’s Leader was a pretty boy, though it’s never good to assume.” You scoff and shake your head. His eyes widen though you aren’t bothering to look at the man anymore. “Wire me my money- I have better things to do than stay where my mission is finished.” You turn on your heel and click your way out of the room, and Chrollo didn’t try to stop you. 

Laying in bed at 7 pm, watching an oldy cheesy and romantic movie, you bite into a sour gummy worm. You snuggle deeper into the large, soft bed, sinking into it’s warmth and achieving nirvana. Maybe you should go to a bar. You haven’t gone out for a drink in a while, you try not to be intoxicated for a week before a mission. It could slow you down. Seeing as you have no missions, and assuming you won’t for quite a while, you might as well indulge yourself.

After putting on minimum makeup, and a comfortable but cute outfit, you call a cab to pick you up at the front of the hotel. You used the hotel phone of course, not your own to call a cab. Before you head down to the lobby, you quickly draw a thread ring on your finger. If any nen is use within five feet of you, it will snap. This was you don’t have to constantly exhaust yourself by using gyo constantly. 

You are shielded from the rain by the awning in front of the hotel, you hold your arms to your chest as a chill runs through you. It’s quite cold today, you’re surprised that it’s not snowing or sleeting. A yellow car pulls up to the curb and you rush into the back seat. 

“Hi, I’m headed to the Lotus Bar.” You say in a sweet voice, as you do to anyone providing you a service. 

The man in front of you seems cramped in this somewhat small car. He’s wearing a cabbie uniform besides the hat. His hair is in a high pony tail and his head is only a few centimeters away from the roof of the car. He nods towards you and mumbles, “Okay.” 

You try not to think much of it but the hunter in you tells you to worry. You know there are weird people in York New city, and your thread ring hasn’t broken so you should be fine. 

Five minutes into the car ride and you reach the highway, at this time the cabbie starts to make conversation. “You don’t look like you’re from around here.” 

You put on a fake smile even though he can’t see it, “Yes, I’m just visiting for a few days. On business.” 

He nods while keeping his eyes on the road, “What kind of business? Are you an auctioneer?”

“No no, I’m just here meeting some coworkers. It’s more of a business vacation than it is a business trip I should say.” Rain hits the windows as if trying to break through the glass and hit you. Car lights are blurred because of the heavy rain and you wonder if the cabbie would be able to see clearly enough out of the front window. 

The cabbie pulls over to the side of the highway and sighs.  “Is it raining too hard to see?” You ask innocently.

He turns in his seat towards you, he has a crooked nose, and deep deep eyes. His frown doesn’t falter when he says, “We’ve reached our destination.” 

The ring on your finger snaps.

He lunges at you, grabbing you by the throat and punching you impossibly hard in the gut. Your body begs to cough violently but the hand around your throat prevents you to. You punch him in his crooked nose and he loosens his grip on you. You contort your leg to kick him in the neck, and he goes flying into the dashboard. 

Blood splatters all over the car’s shitty leather seats when you cough so hard that you become worried your organs will be coming out next. You scramble for the car door and leap out head and hands first. Right as your hands feel the cold and wet road, he grabs your ankle. You glance back at him and his lips quirk upwards, “Nice try. “ The cabbie grabs your thigh and calf, with brute force there’s a loud crack. It takes a moment to register in your mind- but not long. You scream out in agony, and slide out of the car and onto the road once he lets go of you. You flip onto your back and see it, your leg is bent in a way that no leg should be bent. The sight of it causes bile to rise in your throat, and you turn over, everything that was in your stomach forcing itself out of your body. Once everything has left your stomach, you flop back down on your back and grit your teeth in pain.

The man steps out of the car, and picks you up, throwing you over his shoulder. Your foot digs into his rib cage, simply because it’s been forced into an unnatural position. You feel a buzzing coming from the man’s pocket and he grabs his phone and answers it, as if in no rush at all. 

“Nobunaga. What’s taking you so long?” 

You conjure your pencil and begin sketching in the air.

“I’m on my way.” 

It’s starting to come together. A ferocious creature.

“Chrollo told you to be here ten minutes ago. Did you sit down and have a damn drink with the girl?!” 

The incredibly large dog begins to form into a physical creature.

The man, Nobunaga, groans and growls into the phone, “I’ll be there soon.” He hands up and puts his phone back in his pocket.

Nobunaga stops and turns when he hears an eardrum shattering bark. His eyes widen but he’s not quick enough to stop the feral dog you’ve created. It sinks it’s fangs into the back of Nobunaga’s leg, and takes a chunk out of him. He screams in pain, collapsing, unable to stand at this point. Things begin to go black, the pain becoming too much for consciousness. You reach out for the dog and as it stretches to grab you gently, to run away with you, it whimpers loudly. It begins to dissipate into dust. Someone had attacked your dog with nen. Above you, standing in the ashes of your large pooch, is Chrollo. 

“Come on, let’s go y/n.” 

Your mind is fuzzy, sounds are nothing but unintelligible nonsense, and your sight has already gone. At least the pain would be gone for a while, if you woke up. 

Who knows how much time has passed, certainly not you. It’s quiet, deafeningly quiet. You peel your eyes open. which requires a lot of effort. Your body is fighting you to stay down but you sit up with much pain. Your stomach feels as if a wrecking ball has slammed into you. You pull the shirt that is not yours up and see a black and blue bruise blooming on your stomach with sprouts of yellow. Speaking of, who’s clothes are these? You look down at your legs, wearing sweatpants much to big for your frame. You feel down to your knee and wince, it seems to be back in place, and wrapped carefully with some kind of nen. 

A sigh escapes your lips and you take in your surroundings. It’s dark but your eyes have adjusted to it already. You lay on a makeshift bed, with a light sheet covering your bare feet. The floor is concrete but so are the walls. The room is maybe, 10ft by 7ft wide. The only light in this small, claustrophobic room comes from the moonlight through a hole in the ceiling. 

Your eyes wander towards the entrance of the room, a man sits on a wooden chair that looks incredibly uncomfortable. His eyes don’t even look up from his book when he says, “How are you feeling y/n?” 

“Well, my leg is broken and I’ve been kidnapped. So not bad.”

He closes his book and chuckles, then gently places his book on the floor next to him. “You put up quite a fight. It was wonderful to see you create something so beautifully.” Chrollo sits on the floor at the end of your makeshift floor bed. “It truly was delightful.” 

You look down at your hands in your lap, “How is Nobunaga?” 

“He’s okay, he’s been through worse.” 

“Whose clothes are these?” Suddenly you have many questions that you want answered.

“They’re mine.” He states. Though the statement surprises you, you could never imagine Chrollo wearing sweatpants and a white t shirt. 

“So what am I here for. Information? You gonna torture me? Go ahead, you guys already broke my leg.” You say as if he’s the one who broke your leg.

Chrollo stares at you in wonderment. “You have quite a lot of questions. I can’t blame you.” He looks up to the single light source and nods to himself. “I’ve been observing you for quite a while. 

Once the words reach your ears, a red tint covers your cheeks. How could you not have known he was watching you? How long has he been watching you? How much does he even know about you?!

“I’m a specialist as well. I’ll let you know what my nen ability is.” For some reason this makes your heart pound, do you want to know what his ability is? 

“I take other people’s abilities, so they can no longer use it, and I can use as many as I take. That’s why I tracked you down. Your ability is quite unique.” He looks at you with a genuine smile, “But then I began to like you too much to just take your ability. So instead I took you.”

#chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #yandere chrollo #hxh #hunterxhunter #yandere #phantom troupe #chrollo x reader #yandere chrollo x reader #y/n #self insert

[saint-gerard-of-arc]

I'm a fucking wreck rn I haven't been sleeping for a week and I'm getting some rest from the bullshit factory that is my brain only now, but I just wanted to say that last year for me has been saved by tumblr and all the friends I made along the way.

Before you go below the cut, a special thanks goes to the Bee Movie Anon, who, rightfully, I can't tag so I have to say it here in the hope that they'll see it. Your hunger for chaos made me feel a lot of emotions, and I'd have never in any time or space thought that the Bee Movie would be such a prominent part of my life as it is now thanks (read it with a note of sarcasm) to you. Thank you for providing us an infinite amount of both entertainment and suffering, hell, some of the friends I made were because of YOU. I'm still not sure what was your drive to go and start this absurd crusade for the bee movie in the 80s metal fandom, but I don't know, I don't think bee so, I'm not gonna question your ways.

@arnold-layne being the first in line, you kept me sane somehow in the first phases of quarantine and dedicated a lot your time to talk with me and helped me enormously with creativity. If it wasn't for you, that Cyberpunk Comic That Is Kinda Inspired By The Crüe and Shout At The Devil would've been already down the drain. I would've given up probably, because I didn't know how to exted the concept and have an actual plot. A dream that I've been having for literal years wouldn't even have such cool characters with a rich storyline if it wasn't for you. I know I kinda left it after a month or so of intense brainstorming with you, I was literally drained at that point both physically and mentally, but oh boy I haven't forgot about the characters that WE created. How could I after all? Russ being the wreck of a tormented junkie protagonist that he is, Dylan the happy-go-lucky fuck up that seems to do nothing right but with the best intentions, Frankie the runaway sassy and wary androgynous teenager whose gender is a mystery even to themselves, and the epitome of the found family trope, ex gov agent part Japanese, part Russian, part cyborg Vik, whose story isn't still clear yet but we'll give him a very good one, eventually.

You gave me the curiosity to read fanfiction again after literally NINE YEARS of being distant from that part of the fandom and honestly I don't regret it one bit. In fact, I discovered literally my favorite writer in fanfiction. That is you, Arnold. I don't care how frequently you write, I don't care if sometimes you can't do your best. I'll always be there waiting for the next chapter and I'll always think that your art is sublime. I'll have to admit, I don't read your works as often as I should. But it's because I love them so much that I want to always save for later. It's like a drug, or a delicious cake that you want it to last as long as possible so you can enjoy it for much longer (I should be reading your fic more often either way tho like, at least so I can make more art for it. I'll make sure to change that this year and give you the recognition you deserve 🖤).

Everytime I make art, everytime I make a post, I always wait for your name to pop in my notifs. And fuck if I'm happy when I see it, and I rush to read your tags and it always makes my day. Like seriously, you mean so much to me and I admire how you can still be any amount of sane with all you're going through. You're strong as hell, keep going. 🖤

@i-dont-like-rice dude, how can I explain it. You're my best bud here. You're my chaotic sibling from another mother. The other braindead I share the single braincell I have with. The Nikki to my Tommy. Or the Tommy to my Nikki, I'm still not sure which of us is which (I guess I'm Nikki and you're Tommy? lmao it's ironic how even them are an italian and a balkanian) but you get the point. Every interaction we have, I laugh my ass off till my whole body hurts every time. I think I worried my mother and annoyed my sister at least a couple times for bursting out laughing for five minutes straight out of the blue, especially if it was late at night, and all the times, I swear it was because of you. You are as chaotic as you are kind, and it's always so disarming to see you worry or take care of others when you are definitely in a worse situation. Please, be more selfish, goddammit. For your own sake. And be more confident of your art. Draw shit and post it. Who cares if it's not perfect and you hate it and you don't want anybody to see it, it's tumblr, nobody will ever reblog it or give you the well deserved recognition anyway! So it's worth a try isn't it?

@no-stone-no-bone seriously, I'm so glad I met you. You're like the third element of chaos that holds me and Andi together. All three of us are literally unstoppable. You're extremely sweet too and I wish you the best, and DON'T HIDE SHIT IN THE TAGS GODDAMMIT 😂

@white-lightning-625 @viiinceneil I know we really haven't talked much, and we met through unfortunate times, but I'm so glad that something good came out of the chaos and drama, which is being able to talk to you and getting to know you both better. And the fics. My god, the fics. Frankie, I already told you this but MY GOD. I still find it incredible that I've read a fic about a band I didn't even know what they looked or sounded like and I was HOOKED from start to finish. And Katie, I should definitely read more of your works because I love what you've got going on. You're both very sweet and talented with a very distinct, beautiful way of writing and I can't wait to sink my teeth into the pulp of your work, because I know that by now I only scratched the surface.

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands Bruh, conoscere una fan su tumblr the parla la MIA STESSA LINGUA (e che ha pure il mio stesso vero nome lmao cosa sta succedendo)??? Che concetto innovativo!!! Le nostre conversazioni sono sempre disgiunte, ma non importa, adoro ogni nostra interazione. Sei seriamente una delle persone più dolci e gentili che abbia mai conosciuto. La tua creatività stimola sempre la mia. Le tue moodboard sono sempre 👌👌👌 e ogni volta trovo sempre qualcosa che sì, ci avevo pensato, ma mai nel modo in cui lo poni tu, e di solito sono una persona che resta vicina alle proprie idee, ma tu riesci a farmi alterare prospettiva, e trovo questo meccanismo mentale molto affascinante. Ti ricordi lo swapped instruments AU, con Tommy come cantante, no? Giuro che è un concetto a cui penso ancora dopo mesi. Spero di avere la capacità mentale per tradurre quell'idea in arte il prima possibile, perché cazzo, lo adoro troppo

@tattooed-lies thank you for providing the fandom the best gifs in the fucking platform and thank you for giving us the vinikki content that everyone, even if they're not aware, deserves and needs. Thank you for being the only Vince stan that I know. Thank you for being the sweetest person alive 💖

@nbtommylee honestly, I wish I was cool like you. Your sense of humor is impeccable, much like your critical thinking. I have never read something from you that wasn't a valid point. You don't talk shit and that's extremely sexy of you, y'know? And having a "gender dysphoria buddy" to be jealous of our Rockstar Gender Of Choice with is always fun to have, so that's definitely a plus. Can't wait to see (and read!) more of your art, I just love your style so much and you deserve to be Known

@metalmelkor @emometalhead @polka-dot-duff I'm always so happy to see you in my notifs and y'all are oh so very sweet and cool, we haven't talked much but I love every interaction we have, sorry for having the social skills of a stale piece of white bread 🖤

A special thanks goes to @awesomgrlgr8job bc you're literally one of my very first mutuals since I made the decision to make this dumpster fire of a blog and holy shit it's crazy to think about that. I don't even know if we ever interacted that much but it's always such a joy to see you around, ily and I hope you're doing well and thanks for putting up with my clownery for so long 💖

Like seriously, thank you all. I don't even know where I would be without you. Here's to another year of chaos, but only of the good kind 💖

#witchy.txt #I didn't think I would've rambled so much ahshdhjfjf I'm so sorry you have to go through all that #there are a lot of people I could've mentioned but we never really talked so I wouldn't have much to say #but believe me when I tell you that I love seeing you on my dash and in my notifs #I really mean that #and I hope y'all are doing well bc ily 💖

[astrologista]

Kristoph Gavin Character Analysis I

Part 1 of... fucking infinity, I hate this bitch so much lmao.

Well, it's Halloween time and I just thought, why not. So let's answer this question.

What makes Kristoph Gavin a scary character/villain? A soft spoken gentleman with a deadly secret... the Devil, who lives in his hand, that crazy evil scar thing, his creepy music theme... damn, he’s a scary dude. But scariest of all? His psychology, as we all know. (This is mostly gonna be headcanons. but ya know what, I have a license (hands you a piece of paper that says ‘i can do what i want’))

Kristoph seems like a person who is very aloof, particularly when it comes to personal relationships. At first he kind of just seems like the typical anime glasses guy whose main emotion is like whooa he does the glare thing with his glasses sometimes. But... what is he really about?

You know, let me digress for a moment, what's really interesting to me about the AA characters is how much depth they have in their writing. Case in point, Adrian Andrews. There's a character who you assume is just going to be the typical "anime glasses girl" who is a career woman who don't need no man, and is very aloof, cool, and as she says, not concerned with irrelevant topics or things. Later you learn about the true depths to her personality. The fact that she is codependent, that she needs other people telling her what to do in order to survive. Just because she masks these emotions doesn't mean they don't exist. I felt that really gave a lot of depth to her character and added another dimension that stories in this genre don't often address as boldly or fully (especially when it comes to a female character). So the quality of the writing is always really top notch with only a few exceptions. Take this as context...

Now getting back to Kristoph Gavin. Typical anime glasses dude, right? But no, though. One of the reasons why he's so interesting to me is how his emotional understanding of personal relationships really works. Or seems to, anyway. Based on the endgame testimony and his crimes, Kristoph Gavin is extremely dangerous because, should you get involved with him in any way, he will never, ever let go of you, ever. Once you are entangled with him he wants you to stay entangled, not unlike an overbearing parent who refuses to let you go. It's partly that he thinks he knows what's best for you (that is, to stay completely loyal to him). And also partly... because he is pretty dependent on what other people think of him. So he needs to keep them around him closely.

Kristoph's biggest fear was his lying being exposed for what it was. That Phoenix was really the honest, straightforward attorney, and not him. Kristoph would do anything to perpetuate his own false reality. He kept it going for seven years. His absolute worst fear of all was losing his reputation. Being seen for what he truly was in front of others. He could never accept that. That fear drove all of his murders. Fundamentally, he sees himself as benevolent... when nothing could be further from the truth of how he was hurting everyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.

Kristoph has a need to perpetuate this false identity of himself above all else. A very adjacent second goal to that is to keep all of his personal associates very close and under his control in order to keep the first goal intact.

Reject him and he will stalk you until you are dead. By his hand, or otherwise. Slight him, and he will get you at the first opportunity, case in point, Zak Gramarye. (He only had to get a quick glance at the guy and his fate was sealed. Turnabout Trump is a chilling case.) Replace him, and he will tear your life and livelihood up into little itty bitty pieces. He will then continue to stalk you aggressively for seven years while pretending he is your best friend. Case in point, Phoenix Wright.

Create false evidence for him and you become a loose end. So does your daughter. Like I said, just don't get involved with him. If he feels threatened, Kristoph Gavin will not hesitate to end you. It's definitely an obsession. I mean the first word that comes to people's minds when it comes to Kristoph usually isn't "obsessed", because he gives off the aura of being calm and uninterested. But he is, he's obsessed. You have to be obsessed to do what he did. This shit consumed his every waking hour, and that's what he won't admit. That he was so sick, he completely lost the plot. Phoenix was already living in his head rent free the day he ordered the forgery. And even though Phoenix wasn't physically present at the Misham trial and was only watching everything by video camera, you can bet Kristoph was seeing Phoenix. Hallucinating him, images of him. Probably multiple images of him. That's how obsessive. Imagine letting something or someone control you to that extent. Imagine thinking that you're so important, that Phoenix taking Zak Gramarye's case at all was meant to be a slight against you personally. (It's funny because Phoenix mentions not even knowing Kristoph at all until after the disbarment. So Kristoph's own logic in thinking that Phoenix was just out to shame him absolutely doesn't track. Ob-sessed, dude.)  

It's actually pretty astonishing that someone like Apollo made it out alive. On a side note, I really think Kristoph enjoyed having someone to mentor. He sought someone like Apollo out. Someone naive and new to the field for him to indoctrinate. And maybe I have a post about that later, cuz that's a whole 'nother barrel of monkeys right there. (It kind of involves Apollo’s naivete (also, daddy issues, hello.) being a huge reason why he would gravitate towards having a mentor known for having a “caring” personality. And I think Apollo genuinely liked that about him, which makes the end result so much more awful for Apollo to deal with because to him, that was real.)

But now think of Klavier, right. Being forced to grow up with that. To live with that your entire life. To have a familial relationship that is that smothering, that suffocating, that strangling. That controlling, to criticize every single thing that you do or say right down to the way you say it. And remember... He's never letting you go. I would go on a world tour as a rock star, too. Anything to be anywhere he isn't. This is horror movie tier stuff. (now im imagining a horror movie trailer for aa4 focusing on gavins stuff... eep!)

And Kristoph Gavin markets himself as someone who simply doesn't care. He's the coolest defense in the west and he doesn't care for what you may think about it. Except... he does care. It totally consumes him. Your perception, your opinion, is everything to him. He has shitty self esteem, deep down, because he knows Phoenix is better than him. And tries to mask it with narcissism as the two duke it out. Appearances are everything, evidence is everything. What people think is true is the only thing that matters, truth doesn't. And it makes sense that his closest contacts and associates are the targets for his constant narcissistic abuse and gaslighting. Their opinions matter even more than the common crowd - of course, Kristoph hates them. Which makes it even worse for him when the jury decides unanimously that Vera is innocent (and by implication, he is therefore guilty). The jury verdict was kind of like the ultimate confirmation that guess what, the evidence doesn't matter. The common and boorish masses have passed judgement, no matter how "mindless, emotional and irrational" they are, even they can see behind his crappy little facade. Even a blind woman like Lamiroir can see that insecurity; even a common person can understand it just by looking at the facts. That's what absolutely wrecks him... that his “poker face” couldn’t hold a candle to Phoenix’s. And he loses the “hand” again (because of his “hand”... get it??).

The identity that he needs to maintain is part of how he sees himself in his mind. As Phoenix's protector, not as his stalker. As Klavier's benevolent big brother, not as his abuser. As Apollo's teacher and mentor, not as someone guiding him into ruin. He lives in a false reality.

Try to bring this up in any way, shape, or form and he will write it off. You're just imagining things...

Because at some level, Mr. Black Psyche Locks himself doesn't even realize. (I feel like that might just be basically canonical fact, based on Pearl’s explanation of how black psyche locks are supposed to work.) That’s pretty freaking terrifying.

At the end of the day this is a big part of the reason I think his character is just so interesting. In a very messed up way, Kristoph is one degree away from being such a good person. He could've been obsessively protective of Klavier - the way a big brother is supposed to be - instead of abusive, could've actually been very caring of Phoenix instead of manipulative. Terrible people can have good traits, just as good people can have awful traits. His attention to detail and understanding of psychology (like getting Vera those gifts she would like so much) could've been used for genuine good. He could've been someone who cares deeply about other people because he does care deeply about other people. But only in terms of their relation to himself, what do they think of him, how are they useful to him.

Maybe this is why I kind of like his character. Intelligent, semi-neurotic protective characters are just my ish. But, no, he has to have a narcissistic bent that skews everything into complete abuse. That’s what makes him awful... that he’s devoid of a moral compass or true compassion for other human beings.

So in closing, fuck off, Kristoph Gavin.

Postscript, he's also such a good foil for Phoenix for this reason. Kristoph does everything for himself. Phoenix does everything for Trucy, because he's a dad and he understands the weight of what it means to really care for someone. Kristoph couldn’t understand motives like that. And Phoenix can't help it if he's an order of magnitude smarter and more mature than Kristoph is. He was just born like that. Classy as fuck. You know what, Kristoph Gavin is like the dollar store version of Phoenix Wright as an attorney. Has many of the same functions but actually doesn't have a leg to stand on and will fail you when you need it. And is revealed to just be a cheap knockoff of the real thing.

#kristoph gavin #aa4 #apollo justice ace attorney #im just thinkin thoughts here #dont know why im in such a creepy mood right now #maybe halloween has something to do with it #srsly i need to do some analysis on some other characters lol #and ignore this rat man #btw im totally up to analyze specific characters and interactions #lmk #maybe nahyuta? #or phoenix and trucy #or phoenix and apollo...aaa

[perfectlywrongformend3s]

That Should Be me- John B. Routledge

Author Note's- The one and only John B everyone. He is also one of my favorites from the show. Another lyric imagine.

Song- That should be me

Written- Justin Bieber

  -Samantha

-----------------------------------------------------------

'Everybody's laughing in my mind, Rumors spreading 'bout this other girl, Do you do what you did when you did with me?, Does she love you the way I can?, Did you forget all the plans that you made with me? Cause baby I didn't.'

Your POV

I was standing on JJ's right side while Pope was sitting on the chair arm rest that he was sitting in. Kie was laying across the other chair John B had on his porch. We were waiting for John B to come back because he told us he needed to get something. Now you my be thinking how I know these guys well let me tell you.

We will start with JJ himself...

JJ and I known each other since second grade. I was just standing around on the playground when he accidentally bumped into me. He apologized right away and then we just clicked together.

Kie and I met when I needed a job. I walked into the Wreck one day looking for a job and she said she would ask her dad for me. We both also bonded on saving the plant and sea life. We both wanted them to have a clean place to live in.

Pope and I met when I was exploring the island. I saw him delivering groceries to the kooks and asked him if he needed any help. I think he was glad to have help. He's like a brother to me.

John B and I met in third grade which happened to be when JJ met him too. I grew a huge crush on him by the time we reached the end of eighth grade. We ended up getting together in our freshmen year. I was in love with him until something happened and he broke things off in the end of our sophomore year. I cried every day until JJ picked up my broken pieces by being there for me.

I smiled at the memories until I got snapped out of them when Kie yelled...

" No effin way!"

I looked up to find my ex boyfriend arms around the kook princess. I tried to block out the yelling but it got to be too much. I was about to walk into the house until I felt a hand grab my arm softly. I looked to my left to see JJ. He then pulled me over to him. I was pulled on to his lap where he wrapped his arms around me.

" Kie you're my best friend. Sarah you're my..." John B started

I knew what was coming next and i didn't like it one bit.

'You said you needed a little time from my mistakes, It's funny how you used that time to have me replaced, Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies?, What you doing to me, you're taking her where we used to go, Now if you're tryna break my heart, it's working cause you know that.

I need to know should I fight for love or disarm, It's getting harder to shield, this pain in my heart, ooh.'

When John B said that she was his girlfriend I got off JJ's arms and ran into the house to lock myself in the spare bedroom. I finally let the tears out. I know John and I broke up but it's been a month how am I still getting sad over this. I heard a knock on the door, but I was to scared and sad to go see who it was.

JJ's POV

I could tell Y/n was getting upset over how John B had Sarah over. Before she could walk away I grabbed her and pulled her into my lap to give her some kind of comfort. I was listening to Kie and John B yelling at each other when I felt Y/n get up and run inside. It got everyones attention. Sarah asked...

" What was that all about?"

Before I could say anything John said

" Nothing. She's just being her normal self."

Pope, Kie and I were all shocked he would say that because he knows for a fact he was the one who broke her. I got up to check on her while both Kie and Sarah left for different reasons. I followed the quiet sobbing coming from the spare room which is were I sleep when I am over. I knocked and waited for her to come to the door.

Your POV

'That should be me holding your hand, That should be me making you laugh, That should be me, That should be me feeling your kiss, That should be me buying you gifts, This is so wrong, I can't go on, 'Till you believe that should be me, The one making you laugh, Oh baby, Oh that should be me, That should be me giving you flowers, that should be me talking for hours, That should be me, That should be me, That should be me.'

I knew JJ would not leave the door until I opened it. I got up slowly and made my way to open the door. Once the door opened I fell into his arms and cried once again.

" Shh Y/n/n, It's going to be okay." He whispered softly

We lied on the bed for a while so I could calm down. JJ never left my side, he stayed with me helping me relax more. What I didn't know was that just outside this door to the kitchen was John B feeling guilty about leaving my heart to break into a million pieces.

' Never gonna let you go, I'm never gonna let you go, go, oh, That should be me, Never gonna let you go, I'm never gonna let you go, go, oh, That should be me, I'm never gonna let you go, oh.'

I know that I may never get over my broken heart or my first love, but I am going to try to push my emotions aside to be there for John B. I looked up at JJ to find him already looking at me. I gave him a general smile.

" I think I'm ready to fave them again." I said calmly

He nodded and helped me up. We both made our way to the kitchen. I told myself that I was going to be okay.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Enjoy the long imagine...

-Samantha

#john b routledge #john b imagine #Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #jj outer banks #John B outer banks #mine #john b x reader #John B x y/n #kiara carrera #sarah cameron #pope heyward

[nico-di-genova]

The Plus Side to Food Poisoning

Prompt: “What the hell are you doing on the bathroom floor at three in the morning?” 

Carlos gets sick, TK’s there to help him feel better. 

Warnings: Sexual content (implied) and (kinda?) detailed throwing up.  

     “What the hell are you doing on the bathroom floor at three in the morning?” TK grumbles when he comes stumbling into the room. He’s groggy, wiping at his eyes with obvious exhaustion, and not aware enough to realize the sweat beaded on Carlos’ forehead, let alone his dinner in the toilet bowl.

     The man had come over a little past eleven, a simple ‘you up?’ text sent thirty minutes before that. Carlos had been going over some paperwork, long enough that he was beginning to get a headache from staring at documents for so long, so he’d ignored the small part of him that told him he was mad at TK, and texted back. There hadn’t been much conversation for the rest of the night. Last week’s dinner fiasco was never discussed, he spent most the time insanely turned on or trying to force down the quiet voice that told him he was making a mistake. TK didn’t want a relationship, that was fine, it was fine.

     Nausea rolling through him in waves, he leaned his head back against the wall, turning slightly to meet TK’s bleary eyed gaze, “I don’t think my dinner agreed with me.” He tried to smile, a small twitch of his lips, just to add some humor to the situation, but his stomach rolled dangerously, and the smile vanished as soon as it appeared.

     TK at least looked a little concerned, which was more than Carlos had been expecting from him. He shifted from one leg to the other, shoving his hand in the pocket of Carlos’ police academy sweats. They looked annoyingly good on him, low enough on his hips that Carlos had a hard time not staring at the bit of hair that peeked above the waistband. For a hookup, he was getting far too comfortable wearing Carlos’ clothes.

     He considered the offer; some company would be nice, but he knew TK was only asking out of politeness, “nah, I’m okay. You can go if you want.” 

     He’d judged from TK’s previous behavior that the man was trying to keep this strictly sexual. Anything that could be considered affectionate seemed to be outlawed. Nursing your sick booty call back to health on the floor of his too small bathroom seemed like a step too close to relationship territory. The last thing he wanted to do was scare TK away, the guy was kind of the best sex he’d had in years. And, he was still holding on to the idealistic hope that one day they’d actually be able to sit down and talk about something other than how good Carlos was at blowjobs. Pathetic, yes, but he’d always been a bit of a hopeless romantic; especially where doe eyed boys with emotional issues were concerned. 

     TK seemed to consider his options, biting on his bottom lip and looking at Carlos with something akin to pity. His hair is a mess, sticking up at odd angles. They’d been pretty rough tonight, more so than usual. Maybe, not that he would ever admit this, Carlos was mad. He’d sucked hickeys into TK’s skin a bit too aggressively, nipped at the underside of his jaw, pulled at his hair until the man was hissing in pain. It had been hot but looking back he couldn’t help the shame that unfurled low in his gut. It didn’t help his already upset stomach. 

     As Carlos considered his behavior over the past week, TK had arrived at his decision. 

      “Hold on,” he said, then turned on his heel and left. 

     So that was it. This is what he’d gotten himself into. Twenty-seven, single, hooking up with the son of the fire captain, and still somehow deluding himself into thinking that this was anything more than what it had been from the beginning. He’d go back to work tomorrow, probably exhausted and feeling worse for wear, do his job and maybe, if he was lucky, run across TK on a call. They’d make awkward eye contact, and that would be it. At least until nighttime came around and the man found himself wanting some company, and, like a dumbass, Carlos would let him crawl right back into his bed. He should be smarter than this, he usually was, but something about TK was magnetic. He couldn’t seem to get away. 

     Another wave a nausea came, this one enough to send him lurching forward, barely managing to get his head over the toilet bowl before retching violently. By now, there wasn’t much left in his stomach, just the last of his meal and the stomach acid that burned as it came up. When it was over, leaving him shivering and wrecked, he fell back against the wall. Exhausted, and desperately wishing that he had enough strength to at least go get a blanket from his room, he let his eyes close for just a second. 

     He didn’t even hear when someone came back into the bathroom, too tired to focus on anything other than the fevered heat of his skin and the buzzing from the lightbulb above his sink. 

     “Hey, Carlos? Are you okay?” TK’s voice was laced with clear worry. Carlos wasn’t sure what shocked him more, the fact that he’d actually come back or that he seemed to be genuinely concerned. 

     Opening his eyes he was met with TK balancing a glass of water, a small container of TUMS, and a blanket in his arms. The sight was almost enough to make him cry; TK seemed to have read his mind. He hadn’t left. That seemed like something. 

     This time when he smiled, weak and grateful, it stuck, “you’re staying?” 

     TK eyed him quizzically, “of course. I can’t leave you like this, dude.” 

     He was here out of obligation then, nothing else. Of course he was, he was a first responder, trained to handle medical issues. So Carlos was a patient. He couldn’t even feel hurt, not when he was too busy accepting the stuff from TK with a quiet ‘thank you’. The blanket was like an anchor, keeping him from floating off further into his subconscious and immediately warming his chilled skin. He was still in nothing but boxers, and he’d always had the bad habit of keeping his thermostat in the 60s.

      TK stepped further into the room, sliding down the wall to sit next to Carlos, and offering him the glass of water with a soft smile. Even in the too bright light, dark circles under his eyes, and the darkening patches of skin on his neck that stood out in stark contrast to the rest of him, TK looked like a dream. He was maddeningly cute, in the way that only boys from movies were. 

     As Carlos sipped on his water, and chewed on a few TUMS, the pills turning chalky in his mouth, TK watched him. There was something weird in his gaze, some tenseness that seemed to worsen as the silence stretched on. 

     Finally, he said, “my dad used to do this for me.” 

     If there was one flaw to TK, it was how frequently he would bring his dad up in conversation. It was a bit of a mood killer. 

     Carlos nodded, “what? Help you deal with a stomachache?” He held up the container of antacids, “seems like he really knew what he was doing.” 

     TK laughed, but it sounded too forced, too tight. He turned away from Carlos, distracted by a loose thread from his sweatpants. Carlos watched as he picked at the fabric, anxious and unsure. He’d cuffed the legs of the pants, probably because he was shorter than Carlos, it made him look even more like a small child. Like he was a kid who was about to get scolded by the father he mentioned far too much. 

     He huffed out another laugh again, “no, uh-. With withdrawals actually.” 

     The words hung heavy. TK didn’t explain further, just let the weight of what he’d said sink in. Carlos couldn’t lie, he was kind of shocked, and it probably showed in his expression. He’d known TK was hiding something, it was clear in the way ran away from anything he couldn’t control, but Carlos would never have thought it was something as serious as drug addiction. 

     “Oh.”

     “Yeah,” he’d pulled even more of the thread loose and was beginning to twist it around his fingers. 

     “Are you-?” 

     “Clean? Yeah.” 

     It’s here that Carlos is confused. Was TK expecting him to respond to this news terribly? Call him a junkie, or kick him out? He was too quick to answer, too scared to actually meet Carlos’ gaze. It made Carlos ache for him, for whoever had treated him so terribly that he felt like he had to act this way. 

     “Actually,” he presses, “I was gonna ask if you were okay.” 

      TK pauses, fidgeting fingers stilling for a moment. When he looks at Carlos it’s with a bit of shock and confusion, “oh um-. Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. It was a few years ago, and I relapsed in New York before we left, but I’m good.” 

     It didn’t sound like he was good, not really. But Carlos didn’t want to press the issue. If TK wanted to talk to him, he would. Carlos wasn’t going to force more out of him and make him uncomfortable. It was enough that TK had trusted him with this, it was more than he would have been willing to say just a week prior. Plus, as much as he loved getting to know this city boy, with the enigma and mystery wrapped around him like layers, Carlos was also tired and felt like absolute shit. The floor of his bathroom wasn’t really the place for heart to hearts. 

     “Okay, well, thanks for telling me.” 

     TK nodded, pressing his lips together, “no problem.”

     It was such an awkward exchange, the sign of two men that had absolutely no idea how much they could trust the other yet. But it seemed significant, a shift in the dynamic, a sign that TK was a least willing to make this more than the occasional hookup. 

     With the medicine and the water in his system Carlos was beginning to feel minorly better, he at least didn’t feel like he was going to vomit at even the slightest movement. The blanket was working wonders as well, warm enough to have him beginning to lull off, head beginning to slump down toward TK’s shoulder. He might have fallen asleep like that, completely content to have TK as a pillow, not at all caring about the crick he’d have in his neck by morning. But TK, ever observant, noticed his situation and of course had to comment on it. 

     “Why don’t I help you get to bed?” He was already beginning to move, shifting so he could stand. 

     Carlos grumbled in annoyance, pulling an amused smile from TK. 

     “C’mon tough guy. There’s no way you actually want to sleep in here.” 

     There was no arguing with that logic. He accepts TK’s outstretched hand and lets the man pull him to his feet. When he started to waver slightly, still nauseous enough to have no sense of balance, TK was there. Solid and sure, he kept one arm wrapped around Carlos’ waist, the other pressed to his chest, and guided him back to his bed with ease. 

     In his sleep addled, sick muddled, confusion Carlos reached out for him again the moment he was lying in bed. He just managed to catch TK’s wrist, warm and even thrum of his heartbeat beneath his skin. He held on tight, even though TK never tried to pull away. 

     “Stay?” he asked, just barely managing to find the man’s face in the dark of the room. TK looked conflicted, and Carlos braced himself for the inevitable rejection. He’d pushed too far, expected too much too soon. 

     “Yeah, okay.” 

     His voice is laced with clear surprise when he says, “yeah?” 

     “Yeah. My dad would probably lose it if I went back home this late anyway.” 

     It sounds juvenile. Something a boy would tell him in high school, but he doesn’t even care because TK’s actually going to sleep in his bed for once and probably still be there when he woke up. Who knew food poisoning could actually be a good thing? 

     When TK curls up next to him, snaking an arm around his waist and pressing a quick kiss to the back of his neck, Carlos thinks he’s probably just dreaming. Even if he is he’s too content to care. TK Strand seems to have a heart after all, under all the secrets he hides himself under. Dinner may have failed, something that came on too fast, but maybe they don’t have to be just about sex. Maybe there’s hope for them yet. Carlos is sick enough that he lets himself dream, and he falls asleep with that hope clutched tightly in his hand, and TK’s breath warm on his back.

#idk why i enjoy writing for these two so much #but they've quickly taken over #I wanted to write some more carlos focused stuff #kind of how he might be viewing tk since he doesn't know much of what's going on with him yet #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #911ls fic #911 lone star #my fic

[contextualizd]

You love me… Why the hell do you love me?

Since my favorite show (Brooklyn 99) has started shooting their 8th season recently, I decided to write another fan fiction about it. Also because I love the song Best Part Of Me by Ed Sheeran so much, and it really inspired me to write a story that relates to it. Hope you guys like it!

NOTE: Originally posted here.

Also on AO3.

Plot: The story behind “Every time we get emotional, he says ‘Noice. Smort.’” and the reason why Jake was not able to say I love you to Amy first.

Set after “The Cruise”

Title from the song Best Part Of Me by Ed Sheeran feat. YEBBA

But she loves me, she loves me

Why the hell she love me

When she could have anyone else?

Oh, you love me, you love me

Why the hell do you love me?

'Cause I don't even love myself

Jake opened the door to their suite and started kissing Amy again as soon as they were inside. They just came back from the dancing class and they couldn’t seem to let go of each other. They kissed with so much passion but also with such tenderness. Like they want to pour out the intensity of their emotions that they’ve both been holding in for so long.

“I love you, Jake,” Amy tells him when they broke the kiss to catch their breaths.

“I love you too, Ames,” Jake tells her, feeling relieved to finally be able to say it out loud.

Amy touched his face and brushed her thumb on his skin. And Jake can’t help but smile and lean into the tenderness of her touch. He still can’t believe that this amazing woman actually loves him. She’s too good and too perfect. He’s such a mess and to him, it’s surreal that someone like her could actually love him back. It just doesn’t make sense.

In hindsight, he probably already knew that he loved her even before they said it to each other. He might have loved her long before he even dared to admit it to himself.

Maybe it was too soon to tell, but he’s probably been in love with her since that day she went to his apartment to tell him that they should just “Screw light and breezy”.

He’s probably already in love with her when he decided that he’ll be willing to be demoted if it meant he could still be with her.

But what really made his feelings stronger, were the many times Amy made him feel special.

He’s always been insecure about himself even though he’ll never let it show. Growing up with a cheating father who eventually left, probably did that to him. He became cautious with his relationships. Too afraid to take things seriously. Always trying to hide his emotions behind his jokes and laid back attitude.

He always felt like he couldn’t possibly be a good match for Amy. She’s so put together while he’s just all over the place. But she never made him feel like that mattered. She cared for him like no one did before.

When the Vulture threatened to demote him if he continued to date Amy, she was willing to stay away from him even if it would hurt her. She didn’t want him to compromise his dreams just for her.

She understood him, even if they were so different. Their interests were contrasting, but he saw how Amy tried to acquaint herself in his world.

Watching Die Hard with him till the very end of the movie, even if she’s clearly not into it.

Trying to cheer him up by giving him a sticker just for waking up during that time he was suspended by the Vulture for working a case behind his back.

Buying Orangina for him because she thought it was orange soda and she wanted to buy him his favorite drink cause he clearly loves them.

Enduring his lumpy mattress for a while even when she can’t get any sleep just so she could spend the night with him in his apartment.

Checking up on him from time to time cause she felt guilty when she wasn’t able to come to him faster during that time he had a “Die Hard situation” at the mall with Gina and Charles.

Taking care of him during that time he got quarantined with Holt when they both got the mumps.

Trying to cook for him so he would stop eating cold pizza when they both know that she couldn’t cook anything even if her life depended on it.

And even in this cruise, which he has so clearly messed up right from the very beginning by working too hard on following Doug Judy’s every move instead of enjoying it with her. She wanted to have fun with him and do all the stuff in their itinerary, and any girl would have been pissed with a boyfriend who continues working while they’re on vacation. Sure, they’re cops and the criminal is right in front of them but he has to admit that he may have gone overboard with the Pontiac Bandit thing.

But Amy understood. She even helped him all throughout. Not complaining even if it wasn’t how she expected the cruise would turn out at all. And he appreciates that so much.

She did so many things for him that no one has ever done before. And with every little thing that she does, he falls in love a little bit more.

But he didn’t tell her. Cause he was afraid it might scare her off. They’ve only been together for a few months, and he’s not sure how she would feel if he suddenly confesses that he’s already in love with her.

He was afraid that she doesn’t feel the same way about him yet. They may be together but he doesn’t really think that someone like Amy Santiago would love Jake Peralta.

What if she’s just doing all this because she wants to be an amazing girlfriend. And not exactly for the reason that she loves him back. She’s quite competitive so it could be possible. Plus he thinks that there’s no way Amy would ever love him back. He’s totally flawed. And he knows Amy could easily find someone who’s so much better.

Telling her he loves her could send her running to the door. Just like everyone else in his life. Every time he gets too emotionally invested… they leave. It happened with his dad. It happened with Sophia. And he’s not sure if he can take it if it ever happens between him and Amy.

So instead of telling her how he actually feels, he did what he does best. Hide behind his stupid jokes. Every time he starts to feel his emotions towards Amy get to him, he tries to hide it with a “Noice. Smort.” Which usually ruins whatever emotional moment they have. But he figured that’s probably fine. That’s how they’ve always been. Teasing each other. Making fun of each other. It’s better off that way. Better than being too clingy too soon and assuming that she would actually fall in love with him.

But she did. She loves him. She said so herself.

At first, he thought maybe he’s dreaming.

Did she really say that? Is this real? Am I still alive?!

He was too nervous that he stupidly responded with a “Noice. Smort.” yet again. Then, he realized, screw this! He has to let her know how he feels. So when he said “I love you too”, and he saw the happiness that immediately showed on her face, he just felt so full of joy. Her beautiful smile and her eyes that shone with pure glee is the best thing he’s ever seen. And his only regret is that he never said it first cause he kept holding back.

“I still can’t believe it.”

“What?”

“That you love me.”

“Why?”

“I mean, I’m… me. And you’re… you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just… look at you. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful and smart and so organized and put together. And I’m just… a complete wreck.

I mean, I think I’m beautiful too but that’s probably where the similarity ends.

I’m just kidding about that last part. Or not... It’s up to you really. If you’d agree. I’m gonna shut up now.”

Amy just smiled fondly at him.

“Okay first of all Jake, yes I think you are beautiful. I’m pretty sure I’ve told you that before. But no, you are not a complete wreck. I think you’re amazing and hella smart too. Maybe not organized, but I don’t care. That’s my thing. You don’t need to jump on it.

I love you because you are a good person. Yes, you’re impulsive and sometimes a bit childish but I love that about you. And even if you pose as someone who only cares about himself and doesn’t want to deal with emotions, I know you’re not really like that. I know you care about the people you love and you will do anything to protect them and make them happy. I mean, just look at all your friends. No matter how annoying you try to be, they still stayed by your side.”

“I mean, they didn’t have much choice. We all work together in one place so…”

“I’m just telling you that I love you, Babe. And I really wish you’d believe me.”

“I do believe you, Ames. You’ve been so good to me. You’re absolutely amazing. I just don’t know if I deserve it. And I couldn’t believe that someone like you would actually love someone like me. It just doesn’t make sense. So you know… I kept holding back. I kept trying to control my emotions because I don’t want to scare you off if I tell you how I feel.”

“But you didn’t scare me off. And it does make sense because I love you. And I don’t want you to think otherwise because I will keep on loving you no matter what.”

She kissed him tenderly trying to show him how she truly feels. And he just let himself get lost into it. Why was he even thinking too much about this? He’s with the most beautiful, most intelligent, and most incredible woman he’s ever known. He should just cherish this and be thankful that she loves him in spite of all his flaws. So he breaks off momentarily and lifts her chin so she would look into his eyes.

“I love you too, Babe.”

And they kissed again, somehow deeper and more passionate, making him feel so many emotions he’s never felt before. But this time, he’s no longer overthinking it. Everything is finally making sense… because he’s so fucking in love with Amy Santiago.

Baby, the best part of me is you

Lately, everything's making sense too

Oh, baby, I'm so in love with you

🌹

#fan fiction #brooklyn 99 #brooklyn 99 fanfic #short story #creative writing #jake and amy #best part of me #ed sheeran #writersf4f #follow for follow back #b99 #b99 fic #b99 fanfic #early peraltiago #b99 edit #peraltiago

[cowandcalf]

Writer’s Month 2020 - To Find A Way

Prompt No. 21 - Family Part I

Chapters 1 - 10

Chapter 11

Danny still feels the rush of nervousness when Steve has made it clear he wanted to spend time with him and Grace at the beach, at home where he grew up. This is big. This implies family and a future. Danny wants it. He wants everything. He wants to have days and years ahead of them. This day symbolizes a milestone.  And… and they are only going steady for a week, a week. What a stupid expression but seriously, they're only together for seven freaking days! Good Gracious, but to Danny, it feels as if they'd picked up where they have left off in another life. It must be something like that. Steve shared Kamekona's insanely ridiculous comment after a hot night. In the darkness, sweaty, their legs entangled and with a soft press of Steve's lips to his chest, Danny learned that Kawika and Kame think Steve and he are soulmates.

Also on AO3

Danny's heartbeat tells him he believes in this weird spiritual crap. The way Steve and he go at it just tells that the guys are right about it. This isn't normal. It's not normal how he misses Steve when he's at work. It grazes madness the way he breaks every traffic rule just to get as fast as possible to his man. Gosh, Danny feels like he's sixteen again and so madly in love.

Steve always waits for him at the flower shop no matter the time. When Danny walks through the door Steve greets him by pressing him up against the nearest wall before he kicks the door shut. Danny drowns in Steve's gasps and whispered words. They make love and they fuck on every surface available. They eat in between, feed each other only to end up in bed exhausted, satisfied, and with new bruises and scratches from the various pieces of furniture in Steve's jungle house.

But today is the kind of special that adds a new depth to what they already have.

Today is beach day. Steve has waited for this day from the moment he has told Danny about the color turquoise he plans to paint the walls in Grace's room. The room he plans to put up at his house. All week-long, Steve has been out here to get everything ready for Grace. He has kept everything a big secret. Danny is still overwhelmed by Steve's devotion and the sheer force he makes things happen.

Danny still can't believe how fast everything turns into this let's-spend-the-rest-of-our-lives-together thing. He's not scared. Maybe he should be scared because they've skipped having any date at all only to jump right at fucking each other's brains out to steer toward having a family day at Steve's parent's house where he lives. That's… intense especially for Danny but he's not worried. No, in fact, he's as calm as a sleeping whale. He and Steve click like nothing he has ever experienced. And he loves this guy with almost an angry seriousness and that scares him sometimes. Because at this point, Danny knows there will never ever be anyone else but Steve.

And Danny has brought Grace to the game like from 'zero hour' and that's something he has never done with any of his former dates. Never. As if he had a choice. Jesus. He ran into Steve at the hospital. In a blink of an eye, Steve and his little girl have bonded over doing a game on the seesaw on a children's playground. And Grace has turned into that center from where Steve's world has started to grow into a completely new dimension. Danny isn't a nervous wreck over the possibility his baby girl could get hurt over them breaking up. Danny knows hell is going to freeze over before he and Steve won't make this relationship work. Because that's what this is. They don't name that huge intimate thing that grows every day into so much more. It just is and they know it. Danny would freaking marry this wild beast of a wonderful man on the spot if he asked him. So, yes, his mental health floats in a sphere he hasn't known existed.

"Do you have everything you need?" Danny calls from the kitchen. He washes salad in the sink, standing in Steve's kitchen, and picks the limp leaves to heap them up on the countertop. He dries his hands on a dish towel he has thrown over his shoulder.

Grace runs into the kitchen right up to him. She wraps her arms around his legs. "Steve has bought everything, Danno." She tells him excitedly. "He has sand shovels, a pink sand sifter, a blue pail, a green one, and a red pail for the water. And – and a lot of plastic forms. Big ones and small ones and there is a dolphin and a mermaid and fish." She bends her head back and looks up at Danny. Her face is in awe.

Danny lifts her up to have a father-daughter talk. "He showed me. I guess Steve has bought the best pieces to build the greatest sandcastle of Hawaii just for you. He wants you to have fun. You okay with that, Monkey? To be outside with Steve at the beach?"

"Uh-huh," Grace's head wobbles with eyes big and joyful.

"I stay in the kitchen for a bit and prepare lunch, okay?" Danny knows Grace is going to be fine but he's not so sure he's ready for this challenge. He wants to be though. The vastness of the ocean scares him and all the horror movies with giant sharks roll through is mind. "You call me if you need something or you'll tell Steve, okay? He's taking good care of you."

"Yes," she answers and writhes like a snake in his arms. "I wanna go outside, Danno."

"Where's Steve?" He knows how important it is for Steve to dig around in the sand with Grace, to hear her laugh, and to see her joy. He knows that but still, it's Grace and there are tons of seawater rolling in steadily a few feet from where they want to build the sandcastle.

"He says he wants to get the towels." She runs out of the kitchen but comes right back. "Steve said he bought a turtle for me." Grace shouts breathlessly.

Danny smiles with eyes as big as saucers. "He bought a turtle for you? A living animal?"

Grace giggles and storms back into the kitchen. "No! Danno! A sun umbrella that looks like a turtle!" She's out of breath and leans against the chair.

Danny can't really grasp all the small events that have turned their lives upside down. During the last week, he hasn't slept one night at his apartment. And he spends all his spare time with Steve. It's been a whirlwind of emotional and colorful days.

"Danno!" Grace calls over to him. "I said Steve has a turtle umbrella for me."

Danny snaps out of his reverie. "Sorry Monkey, I got lost in thoughts." He strokes her hair, "a turtle umbrella! Wow! That sounds awesome. Why don't you show me?"

"Okay," Grace plucks at her bathing suit with the flower print. "I'm hungry."

"Do you like a sandwich? Ham and cheese with tomatoes? Yeah?" Danny cuts one of the prepared Jersey sandwiches in half. He hands her the plate. "Here Monkey, one is for Steve. Lunch is ready in an hour. You gonna start with – with what? Digging holes?"

"Come, I'll show you," Grace takes the plate and walks out the door. "Steve said we'll make a big castle and we dig a deep ditch so the water can stream right in. He said the waves will fill the ditch and it's fun to watch."

Danny's heart overflows with happiness seeing his little girl so excited about something. He worries way too much. They'll be fine having a wonderful beach day without him playing watchdog. "Where's your hat, Gracie? And what about your fancy sunglasses? Don't you want to put them on?" Danny follows her into the living room where he has put their luggage.

"Have you found your glasses?" Danny steps up to where his daughter kneels on the floor. He crouches down beside her.

She goes through the sports bag Danny has packed to bring to Steve's house. It's a big house with big rooms but it looks strangely empty and abandoned in some way. Steve spends more time at the flower shop than at his parent's house that is his real home. Mary and Kawika live right next door. Danny thinks it's beautiful to have a sister living so close by, her backyard only a few minutes down the beach. Steve could drop by any minute to have a chat, have breakfast together.

"Got it!" Grace shouts and shoves the pink flowery shades over her nose.

"You look like a beach lady with big plans." Danny takes the plate with the sandwich. "Come, let's go and see what's Steve up to all alone at the beach."

Grace dashes out the door before Danny can ask about the sunblock and the extra shirt.

Steve puts up the second sunshade right next to the turtle one. "Hey, Danno, shall I cream Gracie with sun cream?"

"I don't want it." Grace says, already busy with the buckets. "It's sticky and makes all the sand stay on my arms and knees." She whines a little and picks up the little shovel.

"It's hot out here, Grace. You have tender skin. We can't leave it unprotected." Steve explains with a gentle voice. "Let Danno decide what's best for you, okay? I'll put on some cream too if this makes you feel better?" Steve suggests and bites heartily into a juicy half of Danny's favorite Jersey sandwiches. "Ah, it tastes awesome." He keeps a distance and just gifts him with a smile.

Danny knows Steve's insecure how much affections he's allowed to share in front of Grace. "I take pride in prepping the most authentic New Jersey sandwiches. You're welcome." He winks and makes sure to hold Steve's gaze. "Grace, come do me a favor and put on this shirt. We can't have you catch a sunburn. That hurts and it's not good for your skin. And your mommy wouldn't be pleased with me."

Grace is digging, too busy to even reply. She stretches her arms over her head and let Danny put on the white, light shirt. "That's better, Monkey."

Steve also pulls a shirt over his head. "Look, Grace, partner look. See? I wear a shirt too. It's simple, effective sun protection." He darts another smile over at Danny. "You okay with me and Grace out here, Danny?" He drops to his knees next to Grace where she's busy digging holes and filling the plastic forms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry." Danny bends down and adjusts Grace's hat. He kisses the top of her head and leans over to press a soft kiss to Steve's head, too. Grace doesn't even notice. Steve's warm hand caresses Danny's calf. "I'll be inside and prepare lunch. You'll shout if you need anything." Danny points a finger at Steve. "You take care of my little girl and don't let her be in the sun too long. Take breaks and come visit me some time so I know you haven't been washed out with the surf to God knows where."

Steve gifts him with an epic eye-roll. "Danny, I'm a SEAL and I spent my childhood at this beach. It's Hawaii and I know the rhythm of the tides like the back of my hand."

Danny wiggles with his index finger. "SEAL or no SEAL, you show up at the kitchen after an hour." He juts his chin in Steve's direction. "Is this understood?"

"Sure," Steve answers with a forced chuckle. "Your wish is my command."

"Hey," Danny makes Steve look at him, "I trust you." He emphasizes again.

Danny knows Steve's overeager to get it right for Grace and him. Danny's not as relaxed as he wished to be but he chooses a lighthearted voice to show Steve he's okay with him looking after his daughter. "Good. Have fun then." Danny turns and is about to walk back to the house. He taps the beaten wooden chair lightly and calls over his shoulder. "Steve, don't go swimming without the life vest on. Please?" He can't help it.

Steve gives him the thumbs up but the next second he's deepened in a serious conversation with Grace. They've got big plans. Danny walks back to the house with a warmer feeling in his stomach. This is better. It's going to be alright.

The flap flap flap sound reaches Danny's inattentive ear halfway into cooking his mother's famous tomato sauce. The lasagna sheets and the béchamel sauce are ready. Steve's kitchen smells like an Italian restaurant. He nibs at a spoon full of sauce to check what misses. He tries hard to keep the attention directed to cooking. His gut tells him to go check up on what's going on at the beach. But he stays inside and squashes the itch to act like an overprotective father. Steve's going to do great by being the adult looking after Grace.

Flap flap flap.

Cheese. He has forgotten to take the Parmigiano Reggiano out of the fridge. That's the best cheese to grate on top of the dish once all layers are filled in. Danny talks in his head to distract himself. Some odd worry spreads into his stomach and he can't figure out why. He shuts his eyes and counts to ten before he rinses a spoon and a knife under the running water.

The sound of the helicopter seems to spread wide into the sky, and it's getting closer and louder. Danny lifts his head to look out of the window. He sees a banner with the lettering 'newly married John and Amanda' and a big red heart. Danny watches a moment, seeing how the small airplane crosses the sky followed by one helicopter. No, two. Gosh, three helicopters approach through the sky. Some rich dude makes his kid's wedding a day to remember. Why do they need to fly over this part of the beach? The pilot makes sure the guests get what they've paid for. They fly so close by Danny can read the logo on the birds. Freaking idiots.

Danny's heart jumps to his throat and the cutlery clatters when he drops it in the sink. Helicopters and loud whirring rotor blades. Not good! Steve! Shit, is this…? Danny spins around and rushes through a safety check to make sure nothing's going to burn or boil over before he dashes out of the kitchen. He's not half-way through the living room when he hears Grace's scared and high-pitched voice, filled with dread, shouting his name.

"Danno! Daddy!"

Grace doesn't ever, ever call him daddy unless she's terrified.

"Grace! Gracie! I'm here! I'm coming!" Danny yells. Spiking Fear gives him an instant headache. He tastes blood in his mouth his heart beats so hard and fast. Danny yanks the door the lanai open. "GRACE!"

Danny bolts forward. He sees his daughter's face in tears; eyes wide with fear. She throws herself into his arms. Danny catches her and carries her immediately inside. He needs to check on her first, to make sure, she's unharmed. "Grace-baby, it's fine. Danno's here. Are you hurt? God, what's up, Monkey?" He carries her trembling little body over to the couch and keeps her pressed to his chest. He whispers soothing words and strokes her back to calm her. She doesn't seem hurt. "Are you hurt, baby?" He tries again.

Grace tucks her face into his throat and shakes her head. She's hot and sweaty and pants from running so fast.

Danny holds her in his arms until her sobs calm down. Only then he realizes what she's wearing. A life vest and big towel is thrown over her shoulders like a cape. Two floatation aids are pulled over each of her upper arms. She still wears the hat but her sunglasses are gone. Danny undoes the knot of the towel. His hands shake terribly. He's legs are numb from the shock that something might have happened to his little girl. He still hears the fucking helicopters in the sky. The sound seems deafeningly loud. He feels his heartbeat in his tongue. "Monkey, hey, sweetheart," he kisses her tear-stained cheek. "Baby, where… where's Steve?" He whispers against her hair with his nerves strung tight.

TBC

#writersmonth2020 #h50 #mcdanno #fic rec #wip #ongoing story #cowandcalf writes #yes august is over #but i'll keep going until this story is finished #my last prompt #i thought I could make it with two more chapters #but three it is #this is the first part #thanks for reading guys

[agirlunderarock]

How I accidentally wrote 20 page paper on Boromir for one of my Final Ever University Papers PART 3

 Okay folks so I think we’re a little more than halfway through? I think??? I don’t freaking know this is the exact same feeling I had while writing the paper-

Will I ever come to an end? 

We just don’t know

If you missed Part 1 and Part 2  just click the text and it’ll take you to the link

So where did we leave off last time?

I told you exactly how academics where taking a crap on the goodest boi and so this time I’m going to explain why Faramir is the better character foil. Because instead of using Boromir as foil for say Aragorn or Sam, I say they should be using Faramir. I think specifically I left you guys with this lovely little picture I made myself of their character arcs:

If you can’t read it, I’m sorry its pixilated, thats just how the program gets when you try to make an image that compact to fit on a large presentation poster with an already large image. But anyway the important thing in this image isn’t whether or not you can read the damn thing, no, its that Boromir and Faramir’s character arcs are nearly exactly the same.Boromir and Faramir face political, and familial pressures, and faced with the question of what to do about Frodo and the ring. Both brothers are introduced in places that are supposedly out of their element. Boromir is seemingly described as more prepared for battle and fighting, yet we meet him in a council meeting of all things, and Faramir who is supposed to be #intellectual we meet after he and his men have just conducted a raid on an enemy patrol. They’re later both faced with questions of doubt and what they feel they need to do to protect their people. Denethor asks a lot of them and it takes a toll in some way shape and form. but the main points of their character arc ultimately come down to the conflict of family, country, and the fellowship.

like okay I’m not gonna lie, I really just want to put this picture in here and I have a funny story about how this picture made it in the research project but basically even the movie backs up that Boromir’s real foil is Faramir.

shit what was I saying?

Oh yeah

so basically in this flashback from the two towers we get a good side by side comparison between the brothers. Clearly they look alike, but look at how they’re dressed. Boromir’s in full armor my dudes, sword looks like its partially out of the scabbard- but really the main thing you need to focus on is the costuming in this shot, because the costuming here is, of course a reflection of their roles as military leaders, but also a major reflection of their personalities and really how their character arcs play out as a whole. Boromir is usually on the defensive (note I say defensive not ready to throw down) not just in battle because Mordor is like constantly like “Knock Knock can we come in?” but when he gets the Rivendell too, he’s being defensive because it almost sounds like these people half way across the world are going to forsake his home and the people he loves. So yes, I’d say my boi gets to be a little abrasive and wear emotional armor. He’s got a lot of feelings and he doesn’t get to talk about them because either 1. he’s with his troops or 2 he’s surrounded by people he doesn’t know that well i.e. the fellowship early in the story.

Faramir on the other hand is wearing some pretty light armor. He’s more open than Boromir, and if I remember correctly its said in the book that Faramir had taken to talking with Gandalf often when he was young and stuff- I don’t remember tbh I’m at that point where I haven’t read a book in a year cause I’m so damn tired, and I get canon and fanon mashed up sometimes. But what I’m trying to get at is, Faramir lets himself be open to more ideas, to more people, he’s more trusting of people’s intentions probably that numorian thing that he and Denethor have tbh. So basically what I’m trying to say is the main difference between the two brothers is how they deal with fear and anxiety.

Again Boromir tries to hide and swallow his fear and anxiety- he has to as a military leader shit happens. Faramir, looks for as many plans as he can to relieve some of his fear and anxiety- he’s also a leader shit happens.

So remember back when I said that Aristotle said some bullshit about how betraying your father is like the shittiest thing a person could ever do ever? Or when I said the heroism through obedience is absolute bullshit? If not too bad that was your reminder, though I genuinely don’t remember if I talked about the latter.

Denethor becomes the focal point of how these characters are compared. I say this because there is never a moment in the books were we actually have a conversation with all three of them present, but we know that he makes the same demand of both of his sons, that being find out what Isildure’s Bane is and then find a way to protect Gondor by any means. Not necessarily a bad request, its just HEAVY and the way its delivered in Return of the King is heavy and hurtful. I sir I know your mad stressed but also

YOUR SONS ARE MAD STRESSED SO CAN YOU PLEASE NOT HAVE CONVERSATIONS LIKE THIS:

“‘Your bearing is lowly in my presence, yet it is too long now since you turned from your own way at my counsel. See, you have spoken skillfully, as ever; but I, have I not seen your eye fixed on Mithrandir seeking whether you said well or too much? He has long had your heart in his keeping.

‘My son, your father is old but not yet dotard […]

‘If what I have done displease you, my father,’ said Faramir quietly, ‘I wish I had known your counsel before the burden of so weight a judgement was thrust on me.’

‘Would that have availed to change your judgement?’ said Denethor. ‘You would still have done just so, I deem. I know you well. […]But in desperate hours gentleness may be repaid with death.’

‘So be it,’ said Faramir.

‘So be it!’ cried Denethor. ‘But not with your death only, Lord Faramir: with the death also of your father, and all your people, whom it is your part to protect now that Boromir is gone.’

‘Do you with then,’ said Faramir, ‘that our places had been exchanged?’

‘Yes, I wish that indeed,’ said Denethor. “For Boromir was loyal to me and no wizard’s pupil.” (Return of the King 794-795).

Like thats a big load for two dudes to carry man

Like I get it but thats heavy and I cri for both my bois having to deal with this war their whole life

 But you see what I’m getting at here. Theres a lot of expectations for these boys, and really they just need hugs, and I need a hug rewriting this part into non academic language because it makes me BIG SAD

But whats interesting about the expectation that his sons only be loyal to him, is that in attempting to obey their father, THEY GET FUCKING WRECKED. Boromir ends up scaring Frodo to the point the Fellowship breaks up, and Faramir ends up like almost dying and gets his men wrecked. Now I’m not saying Aristotle is full of bullshit, but he’s full of shit, and I’m gonna learn you why.

So before I say which critic actually puts everyone else to shame by praising two hobbit bois, let me make this clear: Boromir does not die trying to obey his father, he dies actively disobeying him. Instead of trying to find Frodo and still get the ring like Denethor would have wanted, Boromir goes dies defending Merry and Pippin. HE COULD HAVE LEFT THEM IN FAVOR OF GOING AFTER THE RING BUT HE’S A GOOD MAN WHO WANTED HIS HOBBIT CHILDREN WHO ARE TECHNICALLY JUST AS OLD AS HIM TO GET AWAY AND BE SAFE AND HE DIED. Faramir on the other hand nearly dies while trying to carry out his father’s orders and thats tragic but again- shit happens.

According to no braincells Aristotle, one of these is right, even with the tragic outcome and one is wrong and deserved to die.

WRONG

In Ian Romuald Lakowski’s, "Types of Heroism in The Lord of the Rings," he acknowledges that through Merry and Pippin there is heroism in DISOBEDIENCE. For Boromir and Faramir this means obedience or disobedience is not a simple right or wrong choice, and in both of them being disobedient to their father is a more sure sign of their heroism.

I mean think about it, the very action every critic characterizes Boromir for is based off of his obedience to his father. He’s villainized for trying to take the ring from Frodo, when the reality is, the man was struggling with trying to figure out what the right course of action was. ITS THE SAME REASON FARAMIR TAKES SO DAMN LONG TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH FRODO AND SAM. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

So what ends up happening? Faramir is praised a good guy for disobeying, and really in the end the real Boromir comes back when he disobeys Denethor too.

But we’ll come back to some of that in a bit,

Because STRESS is not enough to bind these two as better foils than other comparison that can be made. Because again, critics like to praise Faramir and elevate him and I’m not about to put them against each other.

Like despite their differences Boromir and Faramir’s relationship with one another isn’t characterized by fear or power or even that #stress but genuine love for one another. And this is important, because though no critics ever sighted a page for their reading of Boromir as a greedy little shit, I believe their interpretation comes from second hand accounts of his character. Instead of actually looking at what he says and does to be his true self.  They characterize Boromir by his single action of trying to take the ring from Frodo instead of looking at him as a whole.

Boromir’s relationship with his brother is incredibly important because given the circumstances and everything that they’ve been through and even though they have very different thought processes, they should have a rocky relationship, but  they don’t. They have a very good relationship.The appendices give a nice description of the things we never got to see happen in the book

“…there was great love, and had been since childhood, when Boromir was the helper and protector of Faramir. No jealousy or rivalry had arisen between them since, for their father’s favour or for the praise of men. It did not seem possible to Faramir that any one in Gondor could rival Boromir, her of Denethor, Captain of the White Tower; and of like mind was Boromir” (1032).

Actually

I take it back

Never say never get to see because in the council of Elrond, Boromir literally shows us his relationship with his brother and what kind of person he is. 

“ Therefore my brother, seeing how desperate was our need, was eager to heed the dream and seek for Imadris; but since the way was fully of doubts and danger, I took the journey upon myself,” showing that he willingly put himself in danger to protect his little brother (The Fellowship of the Ring 239).

The reason I bring this up is because I don’t think critics look at what Boromir actually says and does through out the book. I literally don’t understand where or how they would even perceive this as an ulterior motive or that he does anything with ill intent. AT THIS POINT THERE IS NOTHING THAT SUGGEST HE MIGHT BE. BECAUSE LITERALLY EVERY ACTION BOROMIR TAKES IS TO PROTECT SOMEONE ELSE

 Like maybe they take the first description of Boromir to be negative:

“a tall man fair and noble face, dark-haired and grey-eyed, proud and stern of glance,”

But none of these are inherently negative. Proud and stern aren’t negative words. Proud doesn’t become negative until you pair it with the action of taking the ring from Frodo and THATS ASSUMING that he’s taking it for himself to use and that he himself wants power.

BUT HE DOESN’T- and we’ll get to why later

OR maybe they’re trying to take what Faramir has to say about his brother to the extreme end: 

“‘And this I remember of Boromir as a boy, when we together learned the tale of our sires and the history of our city, that always it displeased him that his father was not king. “How many hundreds of years needs it to make a steward a king, if the king returns not?” he asked. […] Alas poor Boromir. Does that tell you something of him?’

‘It does,’ said Frodo. ‘Yet always he treated Aragorn with honour.’

‘I doubt it not,’ said Faramir. ‘If he were satisfied of Aragron’s claim, as you say, he would greatly reverence him. But the pinch had not yet come. They had not yet reached Minas Tirith or become rivals in her wars” (The Two Towers 655 ).

Which I’m gonna be honest is fair assessment.  But like Boromir’s asking these questions 1. as a kid, and as I myself was a child who hated incompetency, ITS CONFUSING AND FRUSTRATING TO BE DOING ALL THE WORK AND NOT GET THE CREDIT? (RIGHT NOW I’M LOOKING AT PEOPLE WHO REPOST FAN ART WITHOUT THE CREDIT- I WILL FIND YOU AND SMITE YOU)

but anyway, yeah you know what that question about kingship tells me- HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE THE FUCKING KING IS???? Like thats not inherently a greed thing- Only if you’re looking at it from like a religious standpoint and blah blah blah Catholic teachings about- but again

Then good boy Frodo looking out for him, I’m gonna cry, points out the obvious- that Boromir respected Aragorn, and Faramir has the nerve to say- yeah but wait until the group project falls apart- then see what happens

and let me just say

Faramir

sir

my boi

YOU CLEARLY HAVE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE A GOOD TEAM FOR YOUR GROUP PROJECT BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU. IF ARAGORN WENT IN THERE AND THINGS STARTED GOING WRONG AND PEOPLE STARTED DYING OF COURSE BOROMIR WAS GOING TO BE PISSED- LIKE THEY WAITED HOW LONG FOR WHAT????

It’d be like if someone you didin’t know came over to your house told you not to make dinner in your own house, that they knew their way around the kitchen- WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW YOUR’RE ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS, proceed to start a fire while trying to fry up some chicken, and then saying they’ve got it under control, but the fire dept can’t put out your oven. I mean thats worst case scenario.

I’m sorry but just the thought of someone I know/am related to coming into my room and touches my goddamn light switch gives me anxiety- BOROMIR HAD TO TRUST THIS STRANGER WITH HIS COUNTRY 

But like the movie tries to get you to agree with the line of thinking, that Boromir is about himself and doing it to glorify himself. take THIS SCENE

You know the one, that shot in Rivendell and Boromir is exploring on his own and casually picks up the sword, you know THE SWORD and kinda low key plays with it for a hot minute- you know, the way you walk by the nerf swords at a walmart and you pick one up to wack your bro with it, but then you remember you’re 23 and he’s 18 and taller than you now so he’ll beat the shit out of you if you start shit. But anyways, Boromir picks up the sword and cuts his finger, is amazed that its still sharp, and then puts it back only to have it teeter off and he walks away quickly like nothing happened. If you’re a small brain critic you’ll see this scene and say “Ah yes, in picking up Narsil Boromir displays a desire for power for himself, and in cutting his finger it shows that this desire is his ultimate demise. He might think he’s ready for power and deserves more, but by walking away he shows that he’s actually irresponsible guffaw” I demand you go back and read that in your guadiest accent. But hear me out. Remember that nerf sword you picked up in the toy aisle, instead of being the grimlin you know you are deep in your soul, you take a few practice swings for your audition fantasy and put it back and start walking away just to realize that the walmart employee had been watching you the whole time and the whole bin of plastic and foam swords comes tumbling down bring with it a Hot Wheels track and collectible cars, and you just look at the employee, and they just look at you, and then you brain just short circuits  and so you keep walking down the aisle away and laugh cry across the store because you don’t know what the fuck just happened. And thtas the energy that scene gives to me.

But I’m getting away from it all because the real arguement against the way this scene is framed is one question he poses right before he attacks Frodo:

“What could not Aragorn do?”  ( The Fellowship of the Ring 389). 

He makes a big speech here about Frodo giving up the ring, but he doesn’t talk about him using it himself, instead he wonders, What would Aragorn be capable of?

Does that sound like a question someone crazed with a drive for power would ask?

I don’t think so

Why even mention Aragorn if he wanted it for himself right?

We’re dissect the fuck out it in the next part don’t you worry.

I think I’m almost done

#Boromir #The Lord of the Rings #character analysis #character development #Character Study #Sierra vs the Academics #I just really love Boromir guys #This one took forever to write and its not the best #Can you tell when I finally hit my beats #I had to stop though because I was about to introduce another major idea but we'll get to it later

[nymphl]

"Ren was not like him. Amirtage thought that if he were force sensitive, the task of killing his own father would not be something to drag him to the darkness. Considering my heritage… it would likely move me towards the light, he thought with a snort." Can I just say how amazing this entire chapter was, and how much I love your characterization of Hux? He's so very intelligent, ruthless, yes, but he's also a very tender side to him... and I just love how you work his insecurities

and write about his past and how it molded him and his wrecked emotional, but at the same time you don't excuses his actions... believe me when I say I’ve seen people do it a lot. I'm so in love with your Hux because you give us a very complex character, which the movies don't deliver in any way? TLJ Hux is a comedic relief and TROS Hux is just pathetic? Idk, I'm just pissed off with TROS and your chapter was just a beacon of light in this darkness called SW canon. Love you. 2/2

Hi, darling xD

First of all, thank you for your kind words. It warms my heart to see such support to my story. It means a lot

TROS has been a disappointment to us all. And TLJ didn’t do much good either when it comes to Hux image. About TROS... I really wish the only problem was Hux, but it’s much more than that. Not that what they did to Hux is forgivable. It isn’t. But considering how little screen time Domhnall had, Hux is just one of the many mistakes in this movies.

Now... as for my characterization of Hux.... AWWWW I think I’m gonna print your ask and place it on my wall. Because AAAAAAAAA thank you. Really. It really means a lot to recieve such a compliment, both as a writer and as a Hux fan.

I think other media capture his essence quite well. They give him depth and more to work with. I’ve always felt that SW movies always dealth “in absolutes” with most of its characters.

But I don’t blame the movies too much, there’s only so much you can do with a 2h timeframe. Books, comics, games, animations and so on are supposed to supply us with more information about said characters.

When I think of Hux and when I write him I think of him as just a normal human being. All of us have our hopes, our fears, our anxieties and our past and sometimes very complicated and complex relationships with our families. Armitage and Brendol’s is just a bit more complex. I think JJ and Rian just forgot that? More likely they didn’t care, because Hux isn’t a main character.

Well... I care. And I think it’s my job as a fanfic writer to make him more than the guy responsible for the Hosnian Cataclysm. But also, it would be unfair if just because I like him I overlooked or brushed off something so important as nothing. Killing his father and plotting the murder of entire systems is part of who Hux is. It’s part of his complexity. And accepting it doesn’t mean I condone his actions, but excusing them or saying he didn’t mean it or making him show some kind of empty regret is, imo, of course, very disrespectful to his character and, Idk, to Domhnall as well? And btw, Brendol doesn’t deserve to be forgiven. Hux should never forgive his actions or regret what he did. Maybe killing his father was a bit extreme? Well... but so were Brendol’s actions. He got what was coming to him.

As for his insecurities... I just can’t see him not having several issues with himself. Look at how his father treated him... his stepmother and how everyone in his life treated him... even now he doesn’t get the respect he deserves... a man like that is bound to have a lot of insecurities about himself and to have a wrecked emotional and psychological.

But I also wanted him to be averse to some levels of violence. He’s known every level of violence since a tender age... so I just wanted to show a different side of him we don’t get to see in other media. A man who is deeply wounded and who craves affection, because in spite of what some people may say about themselves, we all crave some affection. It doesn’t matter what kind of affection it is, we all want to be understood, accepted and loved. Hux is no different — at least in my works, of course. Doing that is not excusing his actions, he’s still a mass murderer, it’s just understading that no one is completely evil or completely good.

I think that’s all. Once again, thank you for the kind words and for the support. Love you too 😘😘😘

#ask #anon #tros #general hux #armitage hux #anti tros #hux #domhnall gleeson #domhnall deserved better #hux deserved better #meta #character analysis #jj #lie to me #fanfic #rian johnson #tlj #hux x reader #hux x you #kylo ren #ben solo #sw #star wars #thank you for being so kind #i love you too darling #complex characters #other media

[vampexx]

Uh oh....I used my brain again....get ready lol

DISCLAIMER: I’m going to try VERY HARD to make all this comprehensive and understandable, promise. But when my wheels are turning this fast lol I have a VERY bad habit of not being able to keep up with my own thoughts so please be patient with me as I make an attempt to translate what all is going through my head at hyper speed lol so sorry in advance. Also, for clarity reasons, discussed romantic approaches between adrien and marinette are rated on a scale of 0-100.

OK, so.

That metaphor of how kagami is like a mirror (I mean, I know kagami means mirror or whatever but that’s not what I’m talking about). Ok, well I think it applies to both of them (luka AND kagami) in a literal way. Hear me out.

First: kagami and adrien. Kagami is very strong in her approach when it comes to romance (or anything in general). Very headstrong and blunt, she won’t hide how she feels or what she thinks in any circumstances, right? Now adrien isn’t necessarily that way BUT chat noir is. His approach with ladybug was very....what’s the word....tenacious lol poor thing. He never gave up, which as adorable and as loyal as it sounds to us - the fandom, came off very strong and was received kinda poorly by ladybug to be kinda aggressive I guess? NOT SAYING HE WAS HARASSING HER BECAUSE HE WASN’T! He just didn’t want to lose hope because he was CONVINCED that him and his lady were made for each other MUCH LIKE KAGAMI and her feelings regarding adrien. So, given as of late, ladybug is really the only girl he has fully and openly flirted with. I think that, as he gets closer to kagami, he will at some point take note of her really kinda protective and territorial(?) personality. Like I’m not gonna lie, it comes really close to adriens father and his raising...possessive and territorial  because again, they were raised the same way (NOT SAYING KAGAMI IS LIKE GABRIEL BECAUSE HE IS LITERAL GARBAGE, I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THAT KAGAMI IS TRASH, EVEN THOUGH I’M NOT A FAN PERSONALLY, I WOULDN’T SAY THAT BECAUSE IT’S SIMPLY NOT TRUE) I have mentioned before that their similar raising and domestic circumstances is really something they can bond over, as they should so it will boost their relationship in a friendly way no doubt, but I think that it will likely be their downfall in a romantic way. Allow me to explain...

Yes, her social issues are because of her raising, I understand that. BUT, her raising only accounts for about half of her personality in my opinion, but I’m no psychology expert mind you. I say it accounts for half because her mom is quite clearly the same way so obviously to some degree, it’s also boils down to genetics (again, MY OPINION). Her mom is strict, blunt, strong willed and has such a confidence that it comes off as egotistical (AGAIN, NO HATE INTENDED, DON’T @ ME! BEING HONEST!) Kagami has made some improvements, I will agree with that and I also agree that she has every capability to continue to improve. However....will she ever not be the way she’s known to be? Cut and dry, strong willed and blunt? No. Why? Genetics. It’s the personality she was born with, she just wasn’t done any favors by the way she was raised, which made it worse and made her evidently unlikable and hard to relate to, thus her having no social life or social skills.

Back to adrien. He will take note of how kagami’s approach to romance can be very off putting and intense, seeing how it can rub people the wrong way. I think he will hopefully make the connection in his head, as in he will see how and why chat noir was not successful in his attempts with ladybug, and having an understanding of ladybugs perspective for a change. He will see this and recognize that style of romantic approach isn’t a good fit for him, given how gentle adrien can be on the contrary to chat noir (who yes, is gentle and just as sensitive but is FAR MORE open and flirtatious), and will then make an effort to maybe not just slow his flirting approach from a strong 100 down to a 50 but also see how since he has so many romantic loose ends emotionally, he will continue to insist that he is NOT ready for a relationship given the emotional wreck that is his heart (or at least in my opinion, he should insist because...logic lol, don’t know how else to put it). I mean understand, he has such intense love for ladybug that won’t go away, feelings for kagami that I’m personally not really convinced are romantic (at least, not on his part), and we all know the underlying feelings he has for marinette that he is doomed to have to face sometime soon. It will be nothing short of chaotic, that’s for sure.

To sum up for adrien, kagami will be his mirror for his past romantic approaches as chat noir and will decide to tone it down a bit or just pause completely after seeing the flaws that come with it. But still, it will knock him down from say 100 (give or take) to more like a 50.

Still with me? OK...half way there lol

Second: marinette and luka. Luka is definitely interested in marinette, don’t get me wrong. It’s pretty evident. HOWEVER, as interested as he has shown to be romantically via those couple of times with marinette, literally every other time luka and marinette have interacted, it’s been like 95% friendly, or at least, IT COMES OFF THAT WAY** (hold that thought ok? Remember that). So Luka reads as a confusing character for me because, yes he has made it clear that he likes marinette via small, less intimidating approaches, but he still otherwise kinda comes off to me as also somewhat....disinterested(?)(for lack of a better word). What I mean is this, he said nice things in silencer and felix, I agree with that too, but really that’s all he has done pretty much lol if we’re honest. Like marinette, his romantic approaches however meaningful and sweet they were, were still very few and far between. Otherwise, it’s been seemingly a completely friendly relationship, which THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH (DON’T @ ME OK?). That’s what I mean when I say that he comes off as interested and somewhat disinterested at the same time. Like, to me, it’s this kinda vibe: if you like me, cool / if you don’t like me, cool lol. That’s what I mean when I say disinterested, as in, he could go either way (either being with marinette or not) and he be completely cool with it and HE HAS CONFIRMED THIS in felix. It’s confusing to marinette because he��s not really vying for her attention which explains why she said in the marinette on luka video, that she can’t stop thinking about her feelings for adrien, even with luka (I mean duh, I know those feelings are also never gonna go away) BECAUSE luka’s approach isn’t bold enough in my book to really capture more of marinettes romantic attention like it kinda needs to if lukanette is gonna happen. Does that make sense? God I hope so lol.

Like adrien with kagami, I think marinette will take notes on lukas approach to be like her mirror, seeing how somewhat ineffective it can be. She will see the flaws in her approach however gentle, tender and non-threatening it may be, it just isn’t bold enough to really advocate for herself romantically like we all know she deserves. Like I said earlier, that kind of approach can come off as CONFUSING and mainly FRIENDLY** (there’s the thought I told you to hold onto). That would explain why adrien got mixed messages from marinette, one day he thinks they good friends (*facepalm*) and then the next, she seems so standoffish (granted, mainly from her nerves, unlike luka) that it kinda comes off as, again, DISINTERESTED (the same meaning written above still applies, not really giving adrien solid/ definitive signals either way) again, much like luka. 

She will note all of this and maybe realize that she needs to be a little bolder in her approach in order to properly stand up for herself romantically. She will learn that, yes she has made bold attempts with adrien (*applause*) and will also hopefully see how she may have counteracted them with some not so flattering and/ or just flat out standoffish actions. She needs to learn how to hold her ground and allow herself to be an clear option for someone romantically via not hiding her feelings (like her mom said, never apologize for how you feel) and by being very clear with her feelings from the get go for someone, as in it not being one day essentially, “I like you” to the next day being like, “What? No, I don’t like you. That’s crazy lol.” We have seen MANY examples of that, again it explains adriens mixed signals from marinette. She needs to learn how to let her and her feelings be COMPLETELY CLEAR AND VISIBLE so she doesn’t end up disregarded, confusing and walked all over like a doormat (poor baby, it’s true though). She needs to own her worth and her confidence. SHE NEEDS TO FEEL VALID AS AN INDIVIDUAL AND ADRIEN TOO.

This will essentially encourage marinette to take more risks romantically and to have trust and confidence in herself that she is worthy of love and she is very much worthy to be with who she wants to be with. It will bring her up from say a 0(-ish, like lets be honest, aside from a few certain instances, as far as her outwardly vying for adrien, it has been just her and the crickets lol) to a 50 like adrien.

See where I’m going with this?

With both marinette and adrien both at a 50, as in they both found a balanced and healthy romantic approach/ view on romance in general, they will finally be able to literally meet each other half way romantically. Does that make sense? Let me put it this way if it helps: 50 + 50 = 100?

Marinette taking more risks and having faith in her worth, adrien slowing down and analyzing his heart, also knowing his worth, it will set a solid and clear path for the both of them to meet each other half way romantically, finally. Thus paving the way for the lovesquare to implode/ reverse/ resolve...whatever and then setting up for the movie that is seemingly revolving around ladynoir and their love for each other which will then lead to a reveal (hopefully).

For further personal insight into my theories on the whole lovesquare and love rival dynamic, my link for my initial theory post is here: https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/189482028990/just-a-thought-there-are-spoilers-in-case  Also, I have another post of mine that kinda touches on this subject that I will link next, but to warn you, it is salty. However, it is NOT salty to any one ship, it’s mainly salty towards the fandom so....it’s tagged ml fandom salt or something like that, anyway here is the link if anyone is interested at all: https://vampexx.tumblr.com/post/189856458390/alright-sorry-but-im-gonna-be-salty-real

AGAIN, I would like to remind those that took the time to read this that NO SALT OR HATE was intended in this post IN ANY WAY. I had to be open and honest for the sake of analyzing this mess properly. I apologize if anything has offended anyone but like I said, in order to put this all into words, I really had to be honest.

Hope this made sense, I put a lot of thought and effort into this, so dear God I hope so lol I’m so tired now lmao I KNOW THAT WAS A LOT I’M SORRY! THANK YALL FOR YOUR PATIENCE BUT NOW I’M EXHAUSTED.

Have a miraculous day! Love yall!

#miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ml love square #love square #ramblings about miraculous ladybug #miraculous shitpost #ml ladybug #mlb #ml theory #vampexx

[theyaskedmeto]

all the multi-chapter fics i’ve ever read: a review (i guess)

but like... only positive vibes because there is literally not a fault in any of this amazing writing

so when i started reading klaine fics i was very sensible and wrote them all down so if i wanted to go back to one i could find it easily. so i guess this a fic rec kinda thing by me. (elsie) btw this is in chronological order of when i read them NOT a ranking i’m not mean. i’m also aware that i’m new to the fandom so the things i’ve read are probably very well known already but like don’t judge me pls I’M DISCOVERING STUFF 😎

1. where there’s smoke by stoney - this is hands down the cutest little fic i’ve ever read. it’s got the fluff, it’s got the angst AND it’s got the smut. PLUS it was the first fic i’ve ever read so it has a special place in my heart and it makes me weep. fucking READ IT

2. syrup and honey by LauGS - this fic made me so emotional. i was a wreck. but like in a good way. KURT AND BLAINE ARE SO CUTE AND JUST MEANT FOR EACH OTHER BUT ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO BONK BLAINE’S DAD BECAUSE HE MADE ME WANT TO PHYSICALLY THROW UP BUT LIKE IT MADE THE WHOLE STORY EVEN MORE RIVETING. i just really love broken!blaine and the ANGST was delicious and kurt owning a bakery and fixing blaine with his amazing cheesecakes is a whole ass vibe so in conclusion i would definitely read it again!!

3. a fresh start by pickingviolets - firstly. daddies!klaine !!!! i was a little hesitiant to start reading it because of this but then when i started i was like fuck yeah this is actually amazing. plus their kids are so cute and i love kurt and blaine’s chemistry throughout the whole thing, like their love is so obvious and fluffy and REAL (although i wouldn’t know i’ve never been in a relationship)  and also i love nurse!blaine and doctor!kurt also the drama is so like,,,,,, damn. also the sequel (all we ever wanted, which i read after this one) is equally amazing and beautiful so READ IT NOW!!!! also i discovered the whole ‘read a fanfic as an epub’ thing through this fic because you had to download it so it looked like i was reading a normal ebook so you can hide the fact you’re reading fanfiction and when someone asks what you’re reading you can be like ‘oh just an ebook haha’ which is always a bonus. definitely one of my faves for sure

4. sotto voce by GSJwrites - THIS IS SO FUCKING AMAZING. THE CLASS. THE ANGST. THE WINE. being underage and having an incessant fear of alcohol because it scared me what it does to you i really really really hate wine but... the CLASS of this whole story makes me want to live in the hills of sonoma drinking wine and falling in love. I WAS NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THIS STORY and the ending makes me sob but in a cool way, and when i finished it i was so lost because it was honestly one of the best fanfic’s i’ve read and it was so hard to find one that was even better. i highly highly highly recommend this especially if you like blaine without bowties and hair gel and just generally being hot and mysterious.

5. heteroflexible by pickingviolets - i have discovered (after reading a fresh start) that i love pickingviolets’ writing so i read this one and WOAH it was a rollercoater. the oc’s in this are so cute and i love luke so much. also this one is hella long and the smut is hot like just generally a really happy fic with such a cute ending and you really see how kurt and blaine’s love story progresses and its so :’))

6. crema verse by twobirdsonesong - this is such a cute little fic. FLUFF CENTRAL!!!! the ending is so sweet and the first date and the first i love you and all the firsts really are so sweet. it’s basically like a whole load of oneshots but in the same au where blaine is a barista and kurt works for vogue. normally i don’t like cooper in fanfics but i think that’s actually a lie because every time i’ve read him in one i love it. 

7. in my place by LauGS - omg i didn’t realise until now that this is by the same writer as syrup and honey??? must be why i love it so much!! firstly, wbk i love damaged characters and we get a lot of that here. also kurt’s character development is just.... chef’s fucking KISS and blaine is so in love with him and he goes through so much and like... the whole fic breaks my heart but in the best way and i fully believe it should be made into a movie. ALSO!!!! NERDY!BOOKWORM!BLAINE FUCKING HITS ME IN THE FEELS IN A WAY I DIDN’T THINK WAS HUMANELY POSSIBLE AND THIS WHOLE FIC MADE ME SOB. it’s so fucking miserable and also uplifting but in a good way that just makes your heart ache for the characters because you care about them so much. a masterpiece !!!

8. (currently reading) all the other ghosts by rainjoy - i mean???? i know that this might be a quite famous fic (i think?? it seems v well known) and i’m only 7 chapters in at the mo but wow. THIS NEEDS TO BE MADE INTO A FUCKING MOVIE STAT and i’m not even into the heartbreaking bit yet so i’m not gonna say much on this because i don’t know enough yet and i am fully aware that this will probably hurt me and i’m not ready but i’m also so ready like gimme that angst pls. overall its fucking amazing and if you haven’t read it then pls do because the writing is so fucking beautiful too and it deserves EVERYTHING GOOD!!!!

and yeah that’s it!!! by listing these i’ve kinda realised how involved in this fandom i am now because i only started reading fics in january and 5 months later i’m now on my 8th fic.... but it’s a lifestyle luv x 

yours sincerely, elsie (idk how to end it so i’m ending it like you would in an email) 

#klaine fanfic #klaine smut #klaine #glee #kurt hummel #kurt x blaine #blaine anderson #pickingviolets #rainjoy #LauGS #all the other ghosts #in my place #twobirdsonesong #crema #where theres smoke #stoney #a fresh start #syrup and honey #sotto voce #elsie reads fics #elsie is here #fic rec #klaine fanfiction #klaine fics #glee fanfiction #glee fanfic #glee fandom #klaine fandom