#i mean i have but only up until they uhhh get yeeted to a different dimension in the apocalypse | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

quotes-of-dreamland · 3 years

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Mod Lor, *please* take this as an excuse to ramble, what you've written is *awesome* so far

Mod Lor: OH BOY ok in that case I'll explain sorta what happened after RtD and Lor's relationship with Magolor because it's what I've thought about the most... I mean I did write what was technically 2 ficlets about it, but they're the same event from Lor and Magolor's perspectives. However I'm nervous so I haven't posted them anywhere outside Discord...

Anyways, so. I already mentioned that Lor woke up after/during the collapse of Another Dimension. I say that because it's the first time Lor is seen acting on her own without any influence from Magolor, because he fucking died and dead people can't tell a strong and independent boat what to do. That isn't to say living people can, because Lor still does whatever she wants, and it just so happens that maybe sometimes what she wants is what she's being told to do.

So, this leads to one of the more interesting times in Lor's life, which lasted maybe a couple weeks to a few months. I'll get to that later.

She's been woken up in an unfamiliar place, and also in a completely new era by this point. See, Lor was initially put in the Haldera volcano somewhere around 100 years of age, probably a bit younger. By this point she's closer to 30,000 years old. To get an idea of that sort of time frame, Nova is closer to 70,000 years, while Galacta Knight is only a few centuries older than Lor.

So, as someone's Dark Meta Knight very eloquently put it in an rp, she's old as balls.

However, she's barely spent any of that time conscious. She wasn't aware of how much time had passed until attempting to go back to Halcandra with Landia, and the first thing she noticed besides "wait what the fuck, Landia has visibly aged" was the fact that Egg Engines was visibly degraded and rusting over. Now, that wouldn't have meant much to most; exposed metal rusts when exposed to rain over time. Simple oxidation. Here's the thing, though:

Lor was put in the volcano before that island of Halcandra had a proper water cycle. She'd been unconscious long enough for the place to develop weather patterns.

So, that was a pretty big shock. Then Landia basically explains "yeah so, uhhh, funny story, you can't live here anymore, times have changed and not for the better" before they go back to their roost. So, y'know, that's just great, and Lor goes back to Popstar to try and figure out what to do with her life. She's alone, everyone she ever knew is dead except Landia (but they don't count because they've now had a whopping single one-sided conversation), and she doesn't even know where she is beyond the name of the galaxy and planet.

That's where she finds herself for a bit of time following RtD. But then, a very interesting thing happens. Lor's chilling, still coming to terms with Everything, and then suddenly an unconscious egg she's never seen in her life just. Manifests in her equivalent of the living room. You know, because that's just a normal Tuesday occurrence apparently!

She initially doesn't really grasp the severity of the situation, because she doesn't know this is Magolor and that he's been dead for as long as she's been awake post-volcano. After sorting out the mutual feelings of "what the fuck?", Magolor passes out again, and Lor realizes "oh wait this kid ain't doing too great" and gives him medical attention. Which is good, because if she hadn't, he probably would've met Morpho again and maybe not been yeeted back into the world of the living for a second time.

So, initially, their dynamic is pretty different from what it is now.

Lor looks at Magolor as suspicious, but she has standards and isn't just gonna abandon him while he's still recovering from some event he can't even talk about without panicking. Basically a reluctant "ok fine you can live here and I'll look after you until you get better and we can figure things out after that". There was some confusion about the fact that apparently everyone seems to hate him for no apparent reason, but she took it as him being in a similar situation to her where he just didn't fit in with what society wanted from him.

Magolor doesn't really know how to feel about Lor at first. She wasn't exactly the most polite when he woke up, but wasn't really mean to him either. Interestingly, she also didn't seem to remember him at all or know about what he did. He knew things that she didn't, and he wasn't really able or willing to tell the whole story.

He wouldn't be until years later, and even then it was because he was put in a situation where he didn't have much of a choice. Thanks Meta Knight! Needless to say, that was a rough time for them both.

Still, it didn't take super long for Lor to go from reluctant caretaker to "I've decided this egg is now my son because he accidentally called me mom once when he was really tired and on pain medication" and Magolor subsequently deciding maybe the real source of limitless power is the found family he got along the way.

Also if you asked Magolor about any of that he would deny it. His mom is NOT a boat, no sir, this relationship is purely for mutual benefits, and not because he doesn't have any way to go back to his "real" family but still requires love and care from someone he can trust and be open with. Pay no mind to the affectionate nicknames Lor gives him like "my little peach boy" or "resident hazelnut" because they mean NOTHING to him and do not help to fill any type of emotional void. This is all extremely true, he is not lying, he has never told a lie in his life, he doesn't even know what that word means.

Needless to say, it doesn't take much to see through that. Even if your vision is as bad as Lor's.

Lor cares he and there's nothing he can do about it. Not that he would do anything about it in the first place. Again he wouldn't admit that.

However, all of this does lead to shenanigans. Despite the age and life experience difference, Magolor gets to take on the role of being the voice of reason, while Lor, being a research ship, likes to test things, like Meta Knight's patience, or Magolor's sanity, or the law... you get the idea. She might be a parental figure now, but that doesn't mean Lor's become wholly mature or stopped being impulsive.

#not quote #mod lor #anon ask #long post

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normallee · 3 years

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They Were Roommates || Notia and Norma

TIMING: Before Christmas LOCATION: Norma (and Notia’s) Apartment PARTIES: @humanmoodring and @normallee SUMMARY: How to be a Human 101

“Hello, roommate! I have arrived home!” Norma called out as she hung her pirate hat onto the coat rack inside the door. The entire apartment looked bare to her. Nadia had been pairing down her belongings and attempting to make it appear more human. She wasn’t convinced she was doing a very good job but the ghost in a mortal’s body was the authority on these matters. She supposed she’d have to trust them. She stepped inside and looked around some more. “Did you leave Tom on the porch again? That’s not very nice. We need to keep him until Christmas. I heard it, too, requires a turkey. And I cannot imagine having two of them running around.” She went to the sliding glass door and let the turkey back into the apartment. It was big and smelly but she had grown strangely fond of this large feathered creature. Maybe it was because it reminded her vaguely of a shriken. She wasn’t sure. “Are we going to have more lessons today?” she asked. “I have a pen and paper and everything this time. I’ve been told that is what students bring to classes. They also always have gum in order to make bribes of friendship and annoy teachers.” She reached in her back pocket and pulled out a pack, holding it towards her roommate. “Would you like some chewing gum?”

The lack of loud colors in the apartment meant nothing when there was a loud turkey and an equally loud Norma running around, but Nadia had been nursing a cup of coffee long enough that she only flinched a bit when Norma walked in. “Hi, Norma,” she said, a bit too tired for a proper greeting. She wasn’t sleeping much, these days, and… she wasn’t cold, she didn’t get cold, but her body sometimes reacted like it was, shivering for hours before she could get it to stop. She was fine, now, but it came and it went. “Tom?” The fucking turkey. “Oh, yeah! You know, it’s actually proper etiquette that, between the holidays, the holiday turkey is kept out of living spaces. Turkeys need plenty of fresh air, you know. And grass. Keep ‘em inside for too long and they get interior depression.” The turkey thing had been Norma’s idea, sure, but Nadia was rolling with it because, fuck, it was funny. Annoying as hell, but so, so funny. “Yeah, I’m down for more lessons.” They were pretty fun, especially when half the shit that came out of her mouth was made up. Sure, she gave Norma a few good pointers; she didn’t want the woman to get caught and end up killing this body because of some bad advice. “Yes, perfect. It’s always good to take notes. You’ll be quizzed on all of this, later.” She took a stick of gum. “Thank you. See, politeness. A very useful tool.” She popped the gum in her mouth and settled in for the inquisition. “So, what do you wanna know today?”

“Yes, Tom the Turkey. He informed me that was his name through a series of gobbles.” Norma started scribbling notes already as the turkey started to follow her around. “I think he also says that he much prefers the indoors, but we will take your advice into consideration.” She sat on the couch, sitting on the edge with rapt attention with her pen in hand, ready to learn. She would have to take good notes if there was going to be a quiz. Did she need a highlighter? She saw most people studying used one of those and they looked like fun. Oh, right. She had to pay attention. “Well you rearranged my apartment and I’m still not sure as to why. So more about that, please. And as well, I need to understand how a book of faces works. And why toks tik. And what a yeet is. And what humans shop for. There are so many shops and strange items to purchase, I don’t understand the value structure. Did you know that some rocks cost more than others? Why? They’re all rocks. It’s very odd.”

“You… understand the turkey.” It wasn’t a question, but Nadia still cast a doubtful glance towards the creature, looking into its beady eyes for a sign of intelligence. It, Tom, whatever, stared back. Even though the turkey blinked first, Nadia felt like she’d lost a battle of wills or some shit. “Well, thank you both so much for your consideration.” She looked around the apartment, grateful that it wasn’t in the same state that it’d been when she arrived, though it was still a bit odd. The flamingos had been allocated to outside, and she’d managed to get rid of most of those damn trophies. The furniture was better put together, though she didn’t have the patience to really build shit, and she’d short circuited the fucking apartment twice putting things together, but it looked less like an alien lived in the joint. Instead, it looked like an alien and their human roommate lived there. “Okay, so I rearranged things to look, like, more human. Yeah, yeah, all the shit here was very human, but too much human stuff makes you look… less human and more human impersonating. Also, some of that shit was old and obsolete. You don’t need it. Now it looks more liveable, you feel?”

Nadia chewed thoughtfully on her gum. “Okay, so a book with faces on it’s like one of those people from Game of Thrones that’ll steal your face and pretend to be you, but a Facebook is a website, like that town forum thing but with more videos of cats and babies. Uhhh, toks tik is, like, a clock metaphor, and to yeet is to projectile vomit, I think. Humans are dumb, but they typically make purchases for necessity and amusement, in that order if they’re smart.” This was something that she knew about. “Necessity’s like food, water, booze… Toilet paper and hygiene stuff. Amusement’s literally anything to keep them entertained for their short, short lives.” And she knew all about that, didn’t she? “Most of the stuff you’ve got here’s amusement purchases. You need more necessities. Some stores specialize in certain things, be it necessity things or amusement things. And the rock thing is all about rarity and aesthetic. Some rocks are more valuable because they’re prettier, shinier, or because they’re so damn hard to get a hold of. Then, of course, there’s paper money, where someone just wrote a number on a piece of paper and the rest of us are supposed to go along with it like chumps.” Nadia snorted. “Don’t get me wrong, I love money, but it’s fuckin’ useless.”

“Well I can’t be completely sure but he’s easier to understand than most humans, I will say that much,” Norma said. Tom gobbled in agreement before waddling off looking for seeds. The entire apartment felt oddly empty now that Nadia had rearranged it and had removed some of her belongings. They had all been meaningless but she had come to enjoy them and the sense of familiarity they brought. “Old? None of it was very old. All of it was from the last century at least. That is very recent, let me tell you. Nothing has even started to rust yet.” There was barely any dust, too. She had been very proud of this fact. Humans were always so dusty. As Nadia talked, Norma scribbled furiously, taking as many notes as she could. They were in a few different languages, mostly something that just amounted to furious scribbles. She wasn’t entirely sure what note taking actually entailed but it seemed like she was doing it the same way she had observed. It’s not like she needed to read these later anyway. “Food, water, booze. Booze? This is alcohol, correct? That is necessary? Interesting. I do find humans more tolerable when inebriated.” It made them drop their inhibitions and without those, they were far more prone to chaos. She did very much appreciate the improved hygiene over the years, she would say that much. Her face scrunched up in confusion again. “Wait, money is useless? Then why is it so often considered valuable and a thing that mortals will both risk and waste their lives on?”

“Seriously?” Nadia asked, marginally curious. “What does he say?” She watched the turkey, completely confused by the dynamic that he and Norma had going on but, really, it wasn’t the weirdest thing about her roommate. Norma was odd as hell, and that was saying something because some of the fuckers Nadia had worked with over the years had been strange. “Anything older than, like, twenty years is considered old. Some old things are good. Old might mean that it’s worth more, or is considered vintage. But, sometimes old is shitty.” She paused. “Phones older than, like, three years are very shitty.” She peaked at Norma’s notes, frowning at what looked like a mess of squiggly lines. What the fuck? Some of that couldn’t even be an actual language. “You gonna be able to study those later?” she teased. But then she sobered up. “Booze is alcohol, yes, and it’s absolutely a necessity. The drinking kind, not the medical kind. That kind’s not important. But it’s vital that humans have alcohol at least once a week, unless their lame and abstain from that kinda thing. But yeah, most people are way better to be around drunk.” It made them more fun and easier to manipulate. Nadia was a fan of doing business in bars. “Because people apply a fictitious value to slips of paper, and people think they’ve got to work themselves to death to get it, which is dumb. It’s just paper. Just, like, take it.”

Norma thought that Nadia’s question was very strange. “He gobbles a lot. And makes strange clucking noises. Your ears function, yes?” She shook her head. Did she think the turkey spoke in English? That was very silly. Tom made another gurgling noise and she nodded. “You’re right, Tom. Humans are simple minded.” She made a mental note (and a scribble in her notebook) to get Tom more grain. He seemed to enjoy it very much. “Twenty years?!” Norma shot up and practically dropped her pencil. “That’s so recent! Like a blink of an eye!” She let out a huge sigh and reached down for her writing utensil. “How am I supposed to remember what’s recent? That’s such a short time span, the next twenty years are almost here.” She broke the tip of the pencil at her next eplatantion. “Three years? Why do you bother having these gadgets if they are immediately outdated? Why bother? This is silly! That’s no time at all. Do you all really think a year is a long time? Like it matters? This is exhausting. How do you all live so slowly and quickly at the same time?” This felt hopeless. She threw her pencil away, behind the couch. It didn’t matter. “So all humans need alcohol to survive and I can just take their paper money. What about their plastic money? That one is mostly unlimited, right? The currency that is allowed on the small rectangular cards? I ran into some issues the other day but I think I resolved it.”

“Yes, my ears fucking function.” Nadia sighed. “I don’t think that the turkey speaks English. I was wondering if you spoke turkey. How the hell do you understand him?” Asshole. But she didn’t call Norma that, didn’t want to come off as too much of a jackass, even though Norma was the one to start the name calling with that simple minded shit. “Yeah, twenty years is pretty recent, I guess. In the grand scheme of things,” Nadia mused. “But not all of us live for… how long have you been around again?” She was hoping, maybe this time, Norma would say. She was beyond curious about her seemingly ancient roommate. “Technology upgrades at a rapid pace. New stuff comes out every few months, each thing better and more technologically advanced than the last. We’ve come a pretty long way from the invention of the wheel.” She laughed a bit bitterly. “Good question! I did the smart thing and just upgraded bodies when the old one expired.” She took a sip of coffee, glad that Norma was at least absorbing some information. “Yes, and you can, but you’ve got to be sneaky about it. It’s not taking so much as stealing. And you can steal the plastic money, credit cards, they’re called, too, but you gotta be especially sneaky, and you can’t use them for long, or you’ll be tracked. Credit cards are pretty simple: you use one, and they charge you for it. Not immediately, but eventually. I don’t use ‘em. I don’t trust banks.” They were only good for being robbed.

“I don’t speak turkey, I just understand the turkey. It’s very different.” Norma gave an exasperated sigh. It was far less complicated than being human was so it was strange to her to get such pushback about it. Tom agreed. She could tell by the ruffling of his feathers. “I lost track,” Norma said nonchalantly as she doodled severed heads and some intestines spilling on the floor, along with some nice bleeding hearts with knives through them. “Based on your current calendar, quite a few centuries, I believe. But there have been other calendars and other systems of time so it’s all rather subjective and silly.” She added some more blood splatters around the heart with a flourish of her pen. “The real solution would be to get a better, less human body,” she said, mostly to herself, with another sigh. “Can you upgrade bodies like technology? That’s only a ghost thing, correct?” She had a feeling if humans could, they would. They tried so hard as it was to appear less old and feeble as they progressively aged. “Stealing. That’s a thing that is against the human laws, right? Most of them seem to be very against that. I know there are many in different places but that one has always been frowned upon. Humans are very possessive despite the fact their goods and money does not go with them to death.” Her next doodle was a man dying by way of a small plastic rectangle. ‘What’s not to trust about banks, though? Is that not where the money lives? Which you need. Please explain.”

Nadia blinked at Norma, unsure if this was a topic she wanted to keep discussing. “Okay.” It wasn’t. She cocked her head a bit looking at Norma’s paper with raised eyebrows. Violent. She could get behind that. “Damn, okay. That’s, like, an impressively long time. And you don’t age or…” Norma didn’t look much older than Nadia Diaz’s body. At the most, Norma didn’t look any older than Nadia had been the first time she’d died. “Right, right. Super subjective. Very silly. Time’s an illusion, and all that.” She raised her eyebrows a bit. “I mean, you’re not wrong or anything, but less human bodies aren’t exactly easy to find, you know? Outside of this town, at least.” She kind of liked her humanness, too. It was familiar and useful. So what if she couldn’t light herself on fire or have supernatural strength? She could blend in, and humans were in an abundant supply. They trusted their own, even if they didn’t always realize that other species existed. “Yeah, it’s just a ghost thing. I kinda dig this body, though. She’s worked well for me for, like, over six years, now.” She wouldn’t give up this body without a fight, at this point. Besides, it’d literally die without her in it, now, since Nadia Diaz was gone. “Stealing, yeah. It’s definitely against human laws, but laws are subjective. What’s another person to tell me what I can and can’t do, you know?” She grinned lazily, leaning back. “Doesn’t matter. We like to look good, impressive, for the living. Nothing’s more exciting to most people than being better than everyone around them. Wealth makes them believe they’re better. And banks steal money. They all just work for big corporations and the government, and they’re fucking useless when people come along and take your money from you.” Like Nadia literally did all the time. “Why should a group of bureaucratic assholes be in charge of the value of pieces of paper? It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“Physically? No, not really,” Norma answered, eyes still glued to her paper and the hatch marks she was adding to the spleen sketch to add some shading. “For the most part I believe I look relatively the same as I did when I was last human.” The words always felt a bit like boiling water in her mouth. To admit she was ever anything so plain was shameful and never something she enjoyed advertising to her demonic cohorts. They all thought they were so much better than her because they had never once been mortal but it was not her fault that her near godhood was delayed a few years. It hardly mattered in the grand scheme of eternity anyway. “If you say so. You are right, however. There really is an overabundance of humans. I see why it would be much easier to acquire one of their bodies. But you should really consider a siren. I think it would suit you.” Norma tilted her head to get a better look at her work. She ripped the page out, crumpled it up and tossed it behind her before she started on her next set of illustrations. Norma was unsure if anything that Nadia was saying about these bureaucratic institutions were correct but she found herself nodding along in the appearance of understanding and solidarity, something they had gone over in the previous weeks. Questions were an indication of non human behavior, at least that was what she had been told by her current tutor. “So we steal money to be wealthy and toppled the banks. Very much noted,” she said, letting out a small sigh as she finally looked back up at her current roommate. “This is all very nice. Thank you. I appreciate you. But can you just show me how to find the cat videos in the world wide web again instead?”

“Huh.” Nadia took all of Norma’s information in with interest; it was the first time the other woman had admitted to once being just that, a woman. A human woman, in fact, who had somehow managed to become immortal in a way that seemed way better than any deal the undead got. “That’s pretty fucking cool.” Maybe she could check in to figuring out how Norma had become, well, Norma. It’d be pretty fucking funny if she made this body immortal. Then, if Nadia Diaz’s ghost really was still hanging around, there would be no doubt that she’d outlast it. She laughed, though, at Norma’s next remark. “A siren? Makes sense, I guess. I’ve been told I have a wicked good tongue, anyway. Imagine if it was supernaturally so.” Whether or not Norma actually took her words to heart was irrelevant. Half the time, Nadia was just fucking with her. It was fun. Norma seemed to genuinely believe whatever came out of Nadia’s mouth, as long as she said it in the right tone. And, besides, what harm could it do? It was fun, and, if Norma ended up robbing a bank or something, it’d be funny as hell. She could feel that Norma was losing interest, though, so the cat videos question didn’t come as a surprised. Nadia was only a little exasperated as she finished her coffee and went to grab her laptop. “Actually, this time, you are gonna show me how to find cat videos. Remember, it’s just like I taught you.”

#writing #wickedswriting #chatzy #humanmoodring #nadia #notia #they were roommates

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birlcholtz · 4 years

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you did bittyholtz so now how about bittyrans

bittyrans you say??? this is so fucking long it’s over 2.5k i’ve written full ass fics shorter than this i am going to bED

it starts with the PSLs, as so many things do. (do they???? idk i’ve only had like 2 psls in my life) PSLs turn into rans and bitty having weekly scheduled ‘get coffee and talk about the absolutely obscene lifestyle choices of the rest of our team,’ featuring holster and jack’s wardrobes, the green couch, and shitty’s inability to chew without talking at the same time, among other things

and THEN ‘coffee and bitch’ sessions turn into 'coffee and talk about whatever u feel’ sessions and eventually it just becomes a Thing. saturday mornings are for ransom and bitty. there’s still a lot of 'coffee and bitch’ happening, because it’s not like holster’s adidas slides and socks combo just went away, but they realize it’s not just expensive lattes and a half decent sense of fashion and hygiene that unites them.

they deal with academic pressure in such different ways that it’s almost impossible to notice the similarities until they start talking more and more and realize they both feel that pressure (ransom because everything he turns in has to be perfect, bitty because he has a ridiculously hard time concentrating on things that don’t interest him, like for instance many of his classes), it’s just that ransom has nervous breakdowns that feature a lot of crying under the table and bitty bakes things as therapy until he’s forgotten all about whatever he needed to do.

so what happens when eric bittle (unofficially voted cutest member of smh 80 times) and justin oluransi (the most beautiful man at samwell) hang out a lot?

well, the first thing that happens is that people stare at them a lot as they walk around but ransom genuinely doesn’t notice because this happens to him all the time it’s never *not* happened and bitty notices but he figures it’s just because Ransom. u know.

ransom also finds bitty’s vlog, watches like 8 videos immediately (holster: dude are u ok), and barrels into the kitchen with his laptop in hand like BITTY CAN WE MAKE THIS

and bitty’s like oh sure! and ransom’s like. no. i mean can WE make this. i want to learn to make it and bitty’s like FUCK yeah

over the course of learning to make this dish ransom successfully wheedles bitty into letting him be on his vlog, bitty’s subscribers are Shook at this beautiful man just suddenly appearing when bitty has literally never had a guest before. he and ransom struggle to call each other by their first names the entire time and it’s fun and silly and they DO actually get a decent pie in the oven so it’s a success ('teaching my teammate to bake a _____�� sorry i didn’t think of a recipe lol. fill in whatever u want)

and then the comments on that video blow up, mostly with comments about ransom, some are just about how beautiful he is, some are like eric…. >.> why is this man on your channel when nobody else has ever been. eric do you have a boyfriend and where did you find him

bitty reads all these comments and does Not mention them to ransom but he’s mildly flattered that these people just assumed he was dating rans. because it’s hard to stand next to ransom and still feel attractive oops

BUT he also gets a bunch of new subscribers, which is why he asks ransom if he wants to be on the vlog again a few weeks later and ransom is like oh HELL yes

but it’s too late. bitty’s read all the comments asking if they’re dating. he never thought about ransom in that context before but he’s read all the comments now and he can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to date him. oops

they do the second video, and bitty firmly tells himself that they’re just friends and he’s just overthinking all of those comments, but also ransom smiling directly at someone is a force to be reckoned with and bitty literally cannot stop himself from smiling back (it’s a good thing they’re the only ones in the kitchen because anyone else would probably explode from observing it. bitty smiling is much more powerful than he knows)

okay and like. if bitty thought the comments on the first video were a lot. the sECOND video with justin oluransi?? it blows up. particularly because of one part where bitty catches ransom stealing a strawberry and just gasps and goes “justin” and people lose their minds over it. eric is so appalled. justin grins in a way that is only half apologetic and immediately reaches for another one and eric literally almost yeets the pie down the counter away from him. people set it to music on tiktok (i know tiktok wasn’t a thing while they were in college let me h a v e this)

and let it be known, ransom is also reading the comments on these videos, and he sees all the ones asking if he’s bitty’s boyfriend and he’s like haha wait what and tHEn he goes back and rewatches the videos he’s been in and like?? okay he can see why they think that. bitty puts his hands over ransom’s a lot and ransom slings an arm around bitty’s shoulders a lot but that’s just normal for smh??????? right??????? RIGHT??????????

too late. they’re both overanalyzing every single interaction now

(holster: bro did you see this tiktok of you and— ransom: and bitty losing five years off his life expectancy? yeah holster: nono this one’s set to don’t rain on my parade/the sound of silence/et cetera you have to watch it)

ransom still isn’t in most of bitty’s videos because honestly most of his stuff goes way over ransom’s level of baking knowledge. but he still watches them and it’s kind of nice to watch vlogs where bitty is so obviously in his element? the way he talks to the camera is so friendly and charming and the way he bakes is so efficient and professional. and because he’s a masochist he reads the comments on those ones too and finds a lot where people are asking where justin is. but mostly he’s focused on bitty and how obvious it is that this is bitty’s THING. he just exudes confidence and happiness and it’s kind of hypnotizing honestly

(he also goes back to bitty’s earliest vlogs and is like holy shit BABY BITTY. SO SMALL. and bitty in those videos is still charming but a little less calm and collected— the editing is a little less smooth, and he can’t quite stop himself from adding editorial comments about his aunt’s and his mother’s different techniques. it’s kind of adorable. and like, bitty is still adorable— wait what just crossed ransom’s brain???)

because bitty IS adorable, just a little more put together now. he still gets more excited by discussing types of flour than anyone else ransom has ever met, and he still bops along to whatever song is stuck in his head while he bakes, and when ransom sees bitty after bingeing roughly half of his videos and feels something in his chest lighten, he figures that’s probably going to be his new normal.

and people in the comments clamor for more videos with ransom, and ransom sees these comments, and bitty does too, and ransom seeing these comments is why he pokes his head into the kitchen when he knows bitty is filming, silently waves at the camera, and then leaves again before bitty’s even noticed that he’s there. it makes it into the final cut of the video and the comments section goes wild.

ransom and bitty still hang out plenty outside of doing vlogs together— bitty eventually gets a few dollars in ad revenue from the first video ransom was in and insists that they go on a celebratory unscheduled annie’s trip. (annie’s date energy intensifies)

and while they’re at annie’s/hanging out around campus/bitty has let ransom drag him to the library for some reason bitty can’t help but wonder what it would be like if he was actually dating ransom. he can’t deny that he thinks about ransom in that way now— it’s hard NOT to honestly?? like ransom has been objectively beautiful since the first day bitty met him (and before that, but y'know, not as relevant to bitty’s life) and maybe it’s just his imagination but he thinks that ever since they’ve started making these videos ransom’s smiles have lingered just a little longer and there are more of them, too. and the vlogs have also shown bitty a side of ransom that he doesn’t see a lot, because nobody sees it a lot— ransom trying something he isn’t already good at. throwing himself into it with enthusiasm, actually, and that NEVER happens. ransom is not great at handling failure? but bitty gets to see him cut loose and relax and laugh at his mistakes and he kind of loves it and loves this version of ransom he hasn’t seen before

and ransom, for his part, has been steadily falling for the sheer force of bitty’s charisma when he’s doing something he loves, ever since he first found bitty’s vlog. and as he looks closer he realizes it’s not just the vlog— bitty has always had these depths to him, he just kind of lets them out when he’s baking? and ransom feels kind of privileged to be able to see that side of him so regularly

(also i’m just saying that ransom is very into intelligence and watching bitty fire off answers without even blinking to obscure baking questions where ransom only understands about 30% of the words is a turn on)

but ransom’s become a fan favorite on bitty’s vlog, and he keeps making recurring appearances and even improves a little at baking (which bitty always comments on when he notices an improvement— it’s half chirpy and half genuine pride), and people in the comments BEG them to do a q&a for like. a couple of months. before bitty is like uhhh if i want to make money off of this channel i gotta give the people what they want

so he makes a normal vlog but at the end ransom pops in and they’re like hey we’re gonna do a q&a for our next video where eric answers baking questions and justin is also there since y'all really want him there for some reason??? (but bitty says it nicer and less confused than that)

bitty immediately realizes why ppl want ransom to be in the q&a so bad when about 25% of the comments are about baking and the rest of them are about bitty and ransom. roughly three-quarters of THOSE fully assume they’re dating and the rest of them are just asking if they’re dating.

so bitty is like um ransom?? we should probably address this in our q&a?? everyone really wants to know if we’re dating??

and this interaction is incredibly awkward. i need you all to know that. it’s incredibly awkward because bitty is like 'okay so like YES i like ransom in more than a friend way but this is literally the worst scenario ever i literally can’t believe my subscribers are calling me out for making eyes at him’ and ransom is like 'fuck fuck fuck i want to date bitty but i don’t want to make it weird is it weird??? because of his vlog?????? what do i do??????’

but anyway then ransom is like uh yeah we should address that! and then like. says nothing

and bitty’s like uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh. sooooooooooooo. what do we say

and ransom’s like. :0. um. (the amount of ums and uhs in this conversation are astonishing let me say) well. are we dating??

and bitty genuinely can’t tell if ransom actually meant that as a question or if it was sarcastic and he says as much and ransom is like no that was a real question i actually don’t know if we’re dating or not?

and bitty is like holy shit i can’t believe this is happening what the fuck and he says well. we should um. clear that up. before the q&a

and ransom’s like yeah we should. uh. like. we COULD be dating.

and bitty’s like ….yeah yeah we could. are we?

and ransom’s like do you want to be?

and bitty’s like do you want to be?

and ransom’s like i asked first and bitty’s like damn u got me there. and then he’s like yeah i …. kinda want to be dating and ransom is like swawesome me too glad we cleared that up, how was ur lit seminar and bitty is like HOLD ON JUSTIN OLURANSI because did that just fuckin happen??? we can’t just MOVE ON from that conversation that fast????

so they wind up talking about how basically bitty’s vlog inspired Feelings in both of them and it’s very emotional because ransom is like i love that i feel like i can make mistakes around you and bitty is like i love that you put in the effort to learn about what i care about and they go to annie’s because That’s What They Do and get matching drinks as they always do and smile at each other the whole time (bitty is also literally pinching himself because What The Fuck, how did i wheel JUSTIN OLURANSI) and then they go back to the haus and start picking the questions to respond to in their q&a

ransom does get busier and can’t spend as much time in bitty’s vlogs as usual but he helps bitty plan out what he’s going to talk about when, when to post, the ideal ratio of how-to videos versus just answering questions, and with his help bitty’s vlog starts getting a lot of attention and a lot of subscribers, like, exponentially fast

(it helps that they got memed so early on)

(it also helps that their q&a video where they confirmed they were dating was fucking adorable because they talked about how they got together and how a big part of it was bc of bitty’s vlog and it’s just the sweetest goddamn thing and that video totally blows up too)

(intentional celebrity eric bittle. accidental celebrity justin oluransi.)

it gets to a point where bitty is like. making legitimate money from his vlog and he INSISTS on compensating ransom in some way (ransom: i like helping you??? bitty: and i like making my vlog doesn’t mean i don’t like getting things out of it) so they work out a system where ransom gets some money for helping bitty plan out videos and edit and he gets some more for videos he’s in and like?? they’re icons.

some headcanons:

ransom successfully convinces bitty to wear sperrys

bitty boops ransom’s nose so often that there are compilations of it

bitty also spends a lot of time with ransom when he’s studying for tests because being just like. physically there, like leaning on ransom’s shoulder or holding his hand helps reassure ransom a little

ransom always holds bitty’s face in his hands before kissing him and bitty thinks it’s the best thing ever

there’s an entire swallow issue about them

bitty’s name in ransom’s phone is 'eric butter

bitty tells his parents ransom has been helping him with his vlog before he tells them that they’re together, and coach is like 'nice’ and suzanne bursts with such effusive joy (because ransom is great with parents) that bitty feels himself grinning

the Thesis Battle of 2017 is less increasingly sneaky methods of convincing bitty to write his thesis and more 'bitty read this article on the pomodoro method and then work on ur thesis for twenty minutes so you can bake pie later’ (dex asks ransom if they should cut off bitty’s oven access and ransom is like hmm. well if u do just make sure it doesn’t affect how the kitchen looks because if he can’t even film vlogs answering people’s questions then he’ll be really frustrated)

ransom and bitty shop for clothes together all the time and when it’s winter clothes it’s a constant battle between things that will keep them warm and things that will look cute. they definitely have discussions where bitty’s like 'okay do you think this is warm enough for me’ and ransom’s like 'no that’s warm enough for me you’re from georgia’

both of their snapchat games are INCREDIBLY strong. ransom’s stories are a work of art and bitty is a master of filters and they are constantly communicating via snapchat

ransom also keeps track of all the memes that surface from bitty’s channel and saves them to show bitty later

bitty’s channel gets bigger and bigger and more and more popular and his creative team gets bigger and more complicated to reflect that? but at the same time ransom is always his no. 1

#fun with rarepairs #omgcp #ransbits

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analyzingadventure · 3 years

Text

Oh boy have I not watched Psi for a long time, oh man have I missed out on Some Stuff (I’ve only heard the names of like three Digimon mentioned but oh man did those names alone come with Some Package)

Let’s watch episodes 25-31 then and catch up!

So just to recap, last time Agumon evolved to Mugendramon, fucked some shit up because Taichi totally 100% legit died, temporary evolved to WarGreymon I think (I can’t remember man lmao) and beat the shit outta DoneDevimon

25! Dive to the Next Ocean!

Uhhh who the fuck yeeted ElDoradimon into the sky

This is so bad

They should die so hard

OHHH CLOUD CONTINENT IS IN THE SKYYY YESSS I LOVE THAT

Have I mentioned how much I love seeing the kids interact with their non-partner Digimon (and vice versa)? Because I do, I love this a lot (even if it ain’t much)

Ohhh Mugendramon was so sexy... I wanna rewatch episode 24 but I really need to catch up on this first

ElDoradimon’s gonna die from that fall, right? His joints are gonna get pulverized

Zurumon! :D I love these lemon jelly goops

HIKARI!!!!!! Baby!!

I wish Taichi and co would be like, trying to even think about how they’re gonna survive the fall- like I know Leomon saved them but they couldn’t like plan to just Get Saved, IDK it’s kinda off-putting how they’re so calm

Leomon to the rescue tho! Finally!

Patamon is so chumby, v good

Holy shit Leomon punches HARD, a single punch just straightened out ElDoradimon in one go, holy fuck

Finally they’re worried about dying from the fall

What happened to the Agu and Gabu being too exhausted to fight (I’m sorry this is just a massive pet peeve for me, ‘esp cause there’s like no reprecussions for the Digimon for pushing themselves here)

(Like it’d be one thing if they managed to evolve out of desperation but this ended up being like bad for them and force them to take longer rests later or IDK kill them, but when you’re just like “I’m too tired to fight- oh wait my friend is slightly in more danger now than before, I guess I can fight again”)

(This is an issue with most MotW shows and even some shounen series (I’m looking at you Bleach) so it’s not unique to Psi, p sure Adventure had this issue to some degree too, but still man, it’s a massive pet peeve and bothers me so much)

26! Break through the sea monster barricade!

God I love that the Cloud Continent is actually in the sky

Quality content (slightly cursed maybe)

Seadramon! Honestly I really love Seadramon?? Like it’s such a simple, minimalistic design but... IDK man I love Seadramon, it’s such a cool Digimon

OH SHIT IT EVOLVED! :O

I’m sorry I am just so not interested in the real world crisis (in the show), it’s... I’m sorry it’s so Mundane and I’m here for the Fantastical

WARUSEADRAMON! THE SLIGHTLY MORE GOTH SEADRAMON!! YEAAHHHHH

God I wish Psi just had perma-evolution, so many of my issues would be solved with perma-evolution

Aweeee yeah, MegaSeadramon’s here too, now we got both of them, yeeeeee

I love how Hikari is just quietly judging the other kids

Y’all okay with talking about Taichi being in a different world right in front of Hikari? I mean She Knows Things and they all just got taken to back to that world but still like, should you try to be more inconspicuous maybe

Oh my god how many times have they used that clip of Falcomon throwing bombs in this episode- four? That’s a lot yo

Taichi’s gonna get vored again, press F for him

The water is so deep how is Zudomon standing- oh I need to stop asking these things

HIKARIIIIII SHE’S HEEEREEE YEEEEEE

27! To the New Continent!

"Hikari, who called you?” “I don’t know :)” Honey that is so ominous I love you

AGUMON COMFORTING HIKARI AAAAAA I LOVE THAAAT

YESSSSS I LOVE THIS

This image has heavy Digimon Kaiser energy in it

I love how Psi!Jyou is like a try-hard in trying to help (while OG!Jyou was always struggling with figuring out what the right thing to do was etc)

Is... is the enemy a Tortamon? Oh yeah it’s Tortamons

OH WOW THERE’S A LOT OF THEM

OH SHIT IT’S AN GROUNDDRAMON! OH GOD THIS IS GRUESOME

Ikkakumon’s gonna get vored, F

You know I never thought Grounddramon would be so chomby based on the Bandai art but I guess Groundramon’s a real chomper

“Everyone, give Angewomon your power!”

GIGA DESTROYER AAAAAAAAAA

OH IT’S THE BASTARD!! DARK KNIGHTMON!!! THE SEXY BASTARD!! The one I’ve heard an interesting theory about... But I ain’t saying anything fornow

PATAMON EVOLVES??? (On command which is kinda bs)

ANGEMOOOOOON YEAAAAAHHHHHH

NEW ENDING TOO, YAY

Ohhh this ending has such nice, soft but jolly energy c: Also yay Tailmon

28! The Children’s Fight for Survival!

BTW Patamon with angel wings was a lowkey hilarious visual, 10/10 would laugh again

Still don’t like how we just got Angemon on demand like that

Oh yeah, out-of-context I heard a theory that DarkKnightmon is Tailmon and hearing Dark Knightmon’s voice, yeah I can see that (not to mention their facination with Hikari)

Oh man those are some Big Wings

Whu happen, did the kids get yeeted back to the Human World?? Oh no they’re still here

I bet Angemon’s dead again lmao

LMFAO JYOU FINALLY GETS TO CATCH A BREAK--

NANIMON NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Oh Patamon’s okay- REALLY TIRED (thank you Psi) but okay

I NEVER DISLIKED NANIMON UNTIL THIS VERY MOMENT

I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE

PLEASE GO AT LEAST 500 METERS FURTHER AWAY FROM JYOU, PLEASE

Hikari being worried for MetalGreymon ;__;

Aweee yeah HIkari’s special Evolution Powers are still here! GET ‘IM WARGREYMON!!

Whoop Hikari got spirited away, F (she’ll be fine, SkullKnightmon ain’t gonna do shit to her, I’m sure)

Hikari volunteered to go... ;_;

29! Escape the Burning Jungle!

THERE’S MORE OF THEM

I mean at least they’re all just chillin’ and enjoying the bath instead of just staring at Jyou. I’ll considder that an improvement

YEAHHHH MEGADRAMONS!!

Ooooo a single lil Lopmon, I wonder if this will be an important character later

I like Woodmon, Woodmon are cool and chill

YEAH, DEFEND THE SMALL AND INNOCENT!

WOODMON NOOOOOOO ;A;

NOOOOOO A BUDMON DIED!!! NOT THE BABIES!!!

What do you mean MetalGreymon hurt when the tiny Allomon bit him ON HIS METAL ARM

I- I need to stay quiet or else I’m gonna end up with too many questions. I mean I already have too many but the less I question it the better

Woodmon, Budmon, I love your energy, please aim for Tankdramon’s eye, you could blind that fucker with ease

PARROTMON?!

30! WARGREYMON AAAAAAA

Man I have been quiet through this entire episode so far lmao

ANYWAY CROSSMON! HELL YEAH have we seen Crossmon animated before?

GIGA DESTROYER AAAAAAAAAAA anyways I think this is the first tme we’re seeing Crossmon animated (unless my memory is garbage, which it might just be)

Aaaand Taichi is dead

OH, HIS CREST IS THERE

WHAT’S THIS

Agumon....... I love you..........

Man this animator is making Crossmon look vaguely too humanoid for my taste.... And MetalGreymon’s super fucking jacked yo

NEW SONG YEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

OH THAT’S SOME SEXY SEXY ANIMATION

OH WARGREYMON’S HUUUGE BRO

HOLY FUCK GAIA FORCE ANNIHILATED ALL OF THEM (but didn’t cause any environmental damage? Handy!)

Lopmon’s totally like Cherubimon or something, right? Reborn Cherubimon, right?

31. MILLENNIUMON

HERE IT IS, THE HEAVY PACKAGE I MENTIONED, THE EPISODE TITLE THAT MADE PEOPLE LOSE THEIR MINDS WHEN IT GOT ANNOUNCED

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING PSIIIII where the fuck are you going yoooooo

God WarGreymon’s so fucking big holy shit

OH YEAH LOPMON’S TOTALLY LIKE CHERUBIMON OR SOMETHING (I mean it’s not a plottwist by anymeans lmao)

LMAO Skull Knightmon looked away when Hikari noticed them looking at her lmao tsundere ass fucker

Wait the temple was also on Cloud Continent??? Like that whole area was still a part of Cloud Continent?????????? The geography of this world confuses me yo

BAKEMON!!! THERE’S BAKEMON!!! I LOVE BAKEMON SO MUCH!!! GIMME THE GHOSTIES!!!

NOOO MILLE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY BAKEMON BABIES!! FUCK YOU LEAVE MY GHOST BUDDIES ALONE

YESSSS CHERUBIMON

OH IT WAS MILLE WHO STARTED THIS ENTIRE FUCKING MESS IN THE FIRST PLACE, HUH

WAIT FUCK MILLE IS BEHIND THE ENTIRE BS IN PSI

...AGUMON CAN EVOLVE TO MUGENDRAMON, WHO IS LIKE, KEY COMPONENT #1 TO MILLE

OH GOD WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

AGUMON EVOLVING TO MUGENDRAMON WASN’T JUST A CUTE REFERENCE TO THE DARK MASTERS, IS THERE GONNA BE THING WHERE AGUMON IS USED TO RECREATE MILLENIUMON??? (And they have to get Agumon Out Of There like they had to extract Tailmon (and Meicoomon until they gave up) out of Ordinemon in tri.???)

ANGEWOMON!!! THERE SHE IS!!

PSI SAYS OFANIMON RIGHTS

Oooo we’re on Eternal/Mugen Continent... Oooo :oc

I like how Sora is the Dedicated Character who will be there when we get like Backstory lmao

METALFANTOMON?! :O YEEAAAHHHH (Ngl when I saw the pink scythe for a moment I was hoping for Jokermon.......)

Oh wow that’s a lot of MetalFantomons

Man Kabuterimon sure is flying quietly (I mean adding the flying sound effect probbaly wouldn’t add much here but... It’s so quiet)

OH SHIT WE’RE GOING TO ULTIMATE ALREADY

I am gonna say, because Psi is constantly moving, like there’s constantly an oncoming threat and the characters never get to take a fucking break (that’s longer than 5 minutes), it just... Because there’s no contrast between danger and peace, it makes the non-stop danger feel far less dangerous imo

DOGGO DIGIMON!!

KOMONDOMON!!

OH SKULL KNIGHTMON HAS MILLE

OH FUCK DUDE

There is one more episode out but sadly I can’t watch it yet because region lock. I do know there’s an interesting, familiar face in there tho and I’m excited for that!

I... I... I can’t believe he actually said that...

“They’re cool pants!” KOUSHIROU LMAO

Anyways, episode preview!

Aaaand nothing of value was seen there. I mean I do know what Patamon probably evolves into because I do follow the Digimon Twitter so like, I saw the relevant art they shared but ye

Anyways a lot of these episodes were dull as usual, I didn’t feel like I missed out on much tbh aside from the sexy animation and the lore

This really drives it home to me how not having a villian of somekind just constantly present and active really makes a story so much more flat for me... Like I ain’t gonna argue Devimon or MetalSeadramon were interesting villians, but even just seeing them planning their next moves outloud and talking to their minions drove home what kind of people they were, and they weren’t even the most Packed-With-Personality villians in Adventure. And while SkullKnightmon is there... they’re just kinda standing around. I don’t know much about them really and it makes me sad

(Look I’m sorry I’m a filthy villian-stan and not having interesting villians to stan makes me sad)

Anyways, as always, I am definitely looking forward to whatever the fuck Psi is planning on doing because 1. Holy Shit It’s Milleniummon and 2. Holy fuck we got WarGreymon and it’s only episode 31, what the fuck are they planning on doing with the rest of the series and indeed 3. Patamon evolves into what

#Psi reaction

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l1ana · 6 years

Text

Imagine being able to hold Thors' hammer

Summary: Yeet, idfk I'm in a car thinking this up so yEAH—

———

You were the main one to usually tidy up after the messes that the rest of the avengers made in the tower; that included repairing destroyed parts of it. After all, it was the least you could do to repay Tony for letting you in as one of the family. Unfortunately, being let into the family also meant being the main target for idiot or cruel pranks cast upon you by the rest of the team. It was hard to get used to at first, but you eventually made way to accept that everyone were just as goofy and carefree on the inside as they were on the outside— They never meant you any harm.

Today was no different. Long story short: some idiot tried to attack the tower, lots of collateral damage to the tower, you going to clean up the tower. “[Name], you know I have money for a reason, right?” Tony asked, walking underneath the ladder you stood on with a coffee mug in hand. “Yeah but fixing things is my specialty. Consider it a second hobby besides helping you guys kick the shit out of bad guys.” “Language.” Steve groaned, relaxing into the couch. A smirk graced your face. “Figured you'd say that.” Tony took a seat at the dining room table.

“That guy was... Tough.” Clint exhaled an aggravated sigh. “Yeah, tell me about it.” Natasha added. “Are you all okay? I can fix you some cup of tea if you'd like.” You said, waving your hand upwards to have a multitude of tools make their way to the walls and initiated the cleanup. “No, no, [Name]. It's quite alright.” Bucky dismissed, still wondering how you could be in such a happy-go-lucky mood after what the hell just happened.

You reached your left hand downwards, expecting one of your tools to fly into hand. “Uhhh, I can't seem to find my hammer. Can someone get an extra from the closet?” At those words, an idea popped into a certain gods mind. Now he sure enough wasn't the mischievous type compared to his brother Loki, but Thor did enjoy teasing you as much as everyone else did. Clint stared at him with that knowing look in his eyes, fully aware of what the deity had in mind. It was quite obvious to everyone what Thor was thinking, and most of them groaned in dismay or laughed in agreement.

“You honestly can't find any other way to act smooth, can you?” Tony remarked with a sip of his drink. Unlike the others, the capabilities of Thors legendary hammer Mjolnir hadn't been leaked to you at all. And since you hadn't the slightest clue to whatever Thor was brainstorming, this only worked to his favor. “Of course he can't. The only way he knows how to is by telling his long tales of being a god and whatever.” Sam stated with a wave of his hand. To elaborate on what they were saying— Thor may have developed a small l̶a̶r̶g̶e̶ liking towards you. Just a little bit. But honestly, he wasn't the only one.

“You guys just can't leave the poor girl alone for one minute, can you?” Wanda laid back into the recliner while making said comment. “Hey, I'm not the one thinking it up.” Bruce waved his hands around in defense. “Nor am I.” Clint added before doubling with a, “But just in case, 30 bucks saying she'll hold it.” Que the loud and obviously ticked off groans from Steve. “That's a really low move,” He grumbled, throwing his left arm atop of his face. “..... 50 saying she will.”

Bucky threw a pillow at his companions stomach, scolding him for indulging in this idiot plan to make you swoon for Thor. “10 on her not holding it.” Until giving in himself for why not sakes.

Before they knew it, the team was all making quiet bets deciding whether or not your palm could properly wrap around the handle of the legendary hammer without falling. The good news if you couldn't hold it was that Thor could catch you —due to the weight of the hammer knocking you off balance and sending you quickly gravitating towards the floor— in one arm and his hammer in another, looking dashing and being seen in your eyes as ‘hero’. And even if you could hold it, to which he HIGHLY doubted, he'd be getting paid. It was a win-win on either side.

Snickers and moans, followed by a few discouraging comments courtesy of Sam, flew around as Thor aproached the ladder you stood at with Mjolnir behind his back. “[Name], I have the hammer you seek-” Once he turned his eyes up, he immediately dragged them back down to the floor with a crimson stroking his usual pale skin, not wanting to come off as ungentlemanly for staring at your rump. A cough came from his mouth as you opened a free hand and held it out, expecting the hammer to be set into your palm. “Thank you Thor.” Oh goodness your voice was like catnip to a catnip-starved street feline. He absolutely adored it with his entire heart and soul. Almost made him feel bad for what he was about to do. “E-ehem! You're deeply welcome, my dear [Name].” He said, pulling his weapon from behind him and holding it by the base, setting the handle within your palm. His head clocked back towards the team, who either gave a look of affirmation or one of disagreement to his action.

Thor sighed, his fingers releasing grip of the iron block and opening his arms out, ready to catch you.

Nothing happened.

It went dead silent in the tower, the only sound being you hammering the nail into the wall to finish hanging the picture. The amount of jaws that dropped was immesurable. Thor turned his head round to witness the shocked expressions written over his team mates faces. Oh yeah, they looked like all hell had been loose. Deciding to dart his gaze upwards to where they all directed their sights, he joined the rest of the avengers in this awestricken state.

There you were, twirling the hammer in your hand innocently as you wiped the sweat glands forming on your forehead. “There we go. Good as new.” You remarked with a chirp, pushing the picture frame to be straight and neat. You slid down the ladder as the tools fell back into your small toolbox, the top closing itself instinctively with a satisfying snap. “This is quite the odd modeling for a hammer. But nevertheless, thank you for the help. If I had moved, it might've been raining wrenches and iron bits, heh.” A gloved hand, your hand exactly, scratched the nape of your neck as you giggled nervously. Due to your close-eyed grin, you were unable to catch glimpse of Thors' undescribable expression that painted his face.

“I’ll get going to the outside now. Y-you all have fun!” With that you dashed through the living room on your way to the balcony, opening your eyes and taking notice of everyone's faces. “What's wrong? I can always lend an ear if need be.” You chuckled, leaving them all in wake of those words.

“She held it.” Clint was the first to speak up amongst the group, putting a wall between the quietness. “She actually held it.” His mouth was wide enough to stuff and entire pie in as he said that. “She actually held it.” Sam took a long hard stare at his drink, eyes furrowing. What the hell was in it? He wasn't drunk right now, right? Oh well, whatever was in it -or left in it- was gone, down his throat. Natasha just smirked in a know-it-all fashion, retorting “That's what you all get for underestimating the power of [Name],” “Aka the power of unrelenting kindness.” Wanda and Nat did a little fist bump. “Name's worthy... Totally didn't see that coming.” Steve said sarcastically with a smug look. He already foresaw the hammer within your threshold long ago after witnessing what a charismatic young lady you were, always willing to help whenever.

“See, this is the part where I wake up because I know I did not just let a 200 go to waste.” Tony said, pinching his cheeks. Everybody was stuck in conversation, dishing out surprised comments or bragging about the money they got simply from the bet. However, Thor wasn't making any comments at all. No gasps, no inhales, nothing. Just nothing. It was blatantly obvious that he was the most stunned of all. Bruce smirked. “What's the matter Thor? Someone finally picked up the claimed ‘unholdable’ hammer and now you're quiet?”

“To be honest, [Name] is probably the worthiest of us all.” Peter said. “I mean, she has a heart of gold. Literal gold.” He fawned over how much of a sweetheart you absolutely were. Pietro nodded in agreement. “She's a gracious girl with nothing but purity within her.”

It goes without saying that this whole idea of ‘worthy’ didn't define as much to everyone as it did to Thor. So many roads were being laid out before his very eyes revolving around you. This had so many different meanings, so many different futures. You could take place as a ruler of Asgard. You could possibly transend and become a goddess. The head attached to the mop of blonde hair was sent into a ditzy. He was in this state of rethinking literally everything that's eved occured in his life. His emotions were a mix of shock, rage, joy, and so much more— all of them swirling n him and creating a feeling he didn't even know existed. There was no way to even give it proper words. “Hey, Thor.” Rhodney snapped his fingers, eliciting the other to awaken from his daydream. “Oh, yes?”

“So, whatcha gonna do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“[Name] held your hammer. This obviously means something besides the fact that she's boiling with love to spread.” Bucky said. “Isn't there something more to it...?”

“I have to marry her.” Thor said without hesitation. “What?” Everyone in the room perked their heads up. “Asgard must be ruled over with those the hammer deems worthy, and [Name] is without a doubt worthy.” Oh how Steve was happy that he didn't pull the hammer off the table that time when they were all drinking. “Awww, so you finally get a shot to kiss wittle old [Name]y-waymey.” Tony mocked, making fake smooching noises. “He wasn't ever going to make a move on his own, I think it's good that the hammer got involved.” Pietro commented.

“Jeez it's blazing hot out there.” Speak of the devil, there you were, emerging from the outside with sweat running down your body, your clothes almost soaked in the substance. “I could use a drink right about now.” Waltzing your way to the fridge, you bent down and picked out a small glass of water, chugging it down in one gulp and releasing an ‘ahhh’ of satisfaction.

Thor felt something hit his head; A pillow. Glaring at the one who threw it, the god sighed at Clints childish act yet got the message. He inhaled, mustering all the courage he could and walking up to you. “Uhm, lady [Name], I could really-” “Hey Thor. Here's your hammer back.” You turned and greeted, opening his palm to place the hammer in it. “W-wait, you knew this was mines...?” He asked questioningly. “Yup. You always walk around with it after all,” A light laugh emitted as he took the time to process this. “It's pretty light for a hammer that only gods can pick up. Does that make me a goddess?” Everyone overhearing this in the living room snickered. No doubt about it, Thor was going to go crazy.

“Wellll, I guess since it's your hammer, that technically makes me your goddess!”

thor.exe has crashed

2K notes · View notes

5sosbitchfest · 5 years

Text

Why Crusty is the Legit Worst: A Masterpost

So I mentioned a while ago in an ask that I could make an entire masterpost dedicated to why Crusty is the legit worst... and here it is. This is going to be a very long post, so bear with me.

Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?

1. The racist/fatphobic/xenophobic tweets

Much before 5sos was involved, Crusty was one of those wannabe LA influencer/model people who tweeted shit like this:

Now, apparently she’s claimed that these tweets were faked and never apologized for them, but then again, when does she ever sincerely apologize? Oh wait, never. So, were these tweets faked or not? Well...

There are responses to the tweets on the left. Here are the responses to the top left one:

Jac Vanek was one of Crusty’s old friends. They’ve been photographed and tagged in the same photos together. So, sure, people could have found out they were friends and faked the tweet/response to the tweet. However, 1. how and why would anybody go that far, and 2. if you look closely, the screenshot with the other deleted tweets and the screenshot with the response look like they were on different phones (the emoji, font, spacing between the letters/lines). Two different phones, eh? It’s almost like the tweet was real and could be seen on multiple platforms! Wow!

In addition, the tweet was sent out on February 8, 2013. Here’s another response to the supposed fake tweet:

Same date, eh? And only less than an hour later! Who would go through so much trouble to fake the tweet, the responses, and even get it down to the dates that the responses were sent out?

Back to the first screenshot of all of her tweets:

The bottom left one had some responses too! Here they are:

Same date, a couple minutes later. Seriously, who would take the time to fake the responses down to the dates and times? It’s almost like... the tweet was real! *gasps*

Now, this response could possibly be one to the bottom right tweet:

The only reason why I’m unsure of this one is because the time the response was sent out was three hours prior to the actual tweet, not to mention the month of the tweet isn’t really distinguishable in the screenshot. Even so, the response looks pretty nasty, and I’m sure it was to an equally nasty tweet from Crusty.

Now, I can’t find proof of the top right tweet being fake or real, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, considering she has no problem saying “sleazy foreigners.” Of course, obviously, these tweets were deleted, which brings me to my next point.

2. She deletes tweets whenever she gets backlash, doesn’t apologize, and plays the victim card.

So back in September, she had a pretty epic Twitter meltdown (which is still up, she didn’t delete it), where she basically guilt tripped her entire audience, whether they “hated” on her or not.

Uhhh... sure. I agree that you never know what someone is going through, but 1. these “trolls” you see are usually fans with valid opinions and reasons as to why they don’t like you, 2. the constant use of ‘do you want to do this’ or ‘do you want to be that’ is playing the victim card so hard and blaming literally anyone who reads the tweet, making them feel guilty, otherwise known as guilt tripping. Y’know, something that emotional manipulators/abusers do? Yeah, that, and 3. she just HAS to make the whole thing about her. Notice how she says “your words affect me” and puts "and any other person you’re bullying” in parentheses. Notice how she says “you don’t know if I’m depressed, going through trauma, etc.” Notice how she says “do you actually want to inflict pain, hurt, tears, & hate onto me & others?” She tried so hard to be inclusive... and failed. The whole thing is about her, and she just kinda threw in some other terms to make it seem like some kind of positive message for everyone, when in reality, it’s just her being a whiny brat.

Not to mention she just threw Messy into the mix and shaded Arz. Which, lol. Arz was literally her PR client. It’s actually very likely that she was the one who put Arz and Luke together. Hm.

There was the time she pissed off a bunch of Kpop fans when she tweeted this and automatically tried to patch it up:

She probably saw how pissed people got and tried to fix it and make it seem like it was just a joke. Even still, people saw it as being quite fishy, and rightfully so. After all, it probably wasn’t a joke. And then shortly after, like a few weeks or something, she posted a link to a BLACKPINK song or something saying how good the song was. Ooookay.

Then we have the magazine fiasco:

Basically people were angry because a magazine cover came out that featured mostly Luke and the other boys were kinda off to the side. Colliscool is some weirdly famous 5sos fan who is another wannabe LA influencer chick, and of course Crusty is kissing her ass because it makes her look nice. Anyway, if complaining about a magazine cover is “standing up for what you believe in,” what about actually important issues, like racism or homophobia or poverty? It’s a fucking magazine cover. And while it’s hard to hear, Luke is the lead singer, so it only stands to reason why he would be the main feature, tbh. But once Crusty compared fans to Trump, she received backlash, deleted these tweets, and never spoke of it again.

Let’s not forget how a few days later, the whitewashed photo of Calum came out, and people were angrier about that and thought it more important than the magazine cover (which I agree with), and Crusty didn’t say anything on the matter. People were pissed that she complained about the magazine cover and not the whitewashed photo of Calum, but those fans gotta understand that unless it involves Michael, she doesn’t give a shit. I mean, with the past xenophobic/racist tweets... her not saying anything makes sense.

Then there’s the more recent ordeal with Cardi B:

She really thought her backlash was about Mac Miller not winning. And when a fan tried to explain why Cardi B is problematic, she went ahead and played the victim card again. For comparison, here’s how Debby Ryan, Josh Dun’s fiancee, responded:

Not only did she acknowledge her lack of knowledge, she handled the situation by engaging with the people who were educating her, asking them for more information, and thanking them for educating her. Meanwhile, you have Crusty, who’s all like “WELL HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW I’M ONLY HUMAN” and... yes, Crusty, we’re all fucking human, but not all of us are assholes. She likes to tweet, delete, and yeet, as I like to put it.

And I’m going to put this out there for people who might try to argue with me: yes, I spent a good hour scrolling through her twitter to try to find any ounce of proof that she’s a decent person. I did find some rt’s and threads of her talking about mental health and racism (she was talking about the movie the blackkklansman and how it’s revolutionary or something along the lines of that), and she took part in that whole campaign last year to get young people to vote. Here’s the thing: yeah, those are good causes. But it’s really easy to seem like a good person online. It’s so easy to say things and not mean them. Also, just because someone may have liberal viewpoints or morals doesn’t necessarily make them a good person, especially if they don’t outwardly show it, which brings me to my next point.

3. She’s an asshole to fans.

That’s kind of a well-known fact, at least, to the people who can see past her bullshit. She will literally enter group chats with fans, get the twitter names of people who talk bad about her, and block them on her and Michael’s accounts. But of course, because she’s interacting with the fans, she’s seen as a saint because she’s just so sweet!!! And whenever people don’t see that, well, they get blocked. She checks her indirects, obviously, so if you so much as mention her name in a negative way, she and “Michael” will block you. Which is so fucked.

Remember when she was rude to some fans in Bali a few years back? If not, here’s the video. When people saw the video, of course she played the victim card again:

Oh yes, because coming up with a bunch of excuses, mentioning the fact that you’re “crying in lax,” and using a thousand emojis really expresses how guilty you feel. Kiss my entire ass.

But that wasn’t the end of that! When Crusty went to Bali earlier this year, she met up with the very fan she was rude to after she sent the fan this DM:

And of course, the girl fell for her bullshit because she got to meet Michael. She just had to make herself look like such a sweetheart before the big engagement! And sadly, it worked, the fan was happy, and Crusty was seen as a saint once again:

She’s even a bitch from southy’s account:

Like... what that person said wasn’t even that bad. Them breaking up is a perfectly plausible situation (if they were actually dating, lol), and yet Crusty literally cussed them out for bringing that up. Oof yikes.

4. The nature of her “relationship” with Michael.

Their first public interaction on Twtiter was back in 2014, when Michael was 18.

This was right before Michael turned 19, so Crusty was 29-30ish (?) at this time (who the fuck knows, I’ll get to that later). It’s not exactly known if she was 5sos’ PR manager, but she was ATL’s, and since 5sos and ATL had worked together, it wouldn’t be surprising if she actually was/is 5sos’ PR manager.

So before Michael, Crusty had been dating a guy named Spencer. Crikey’s timeline starts in January of 2016, where Michael posted this photo of them:

They were “dating” at that time, but neither of them went public until January 2017. However, Crusty continued to consistently interact with her ex Spencer on ig, all the way from January 2016 to May/June 2016, and it started to slow down after that, though she still liked some of his posts here and there. There was even an instance where Spencer sent her flowers in April, which... why would your ex send you flowers???

My belief is that Crusty was still with Spencer at the time she started “dating” Michael, technically cheating on him, and I have an idea in my mind that he probably got sick of it and finally decided to drop her. Which, good for him. After all, she left to be with someone eleven years younger than her just to gain money and fame. Yikes. And apparently there were rumors of her sleeping with Jack from ATL (when she was still with Spencer) when she was their PR manager... she liked to fuck her way to the top and didn’t give a shit about cheating on her boyfriend, I guess.

Now, I know the age gap is a heavily-debated topic, but here’s my stance on it: if the younger party is a full grown adult (I’m talking late twenties/early-mid thirties) when they start dating a person several years older than them, then sure, whatever. They’re basically full-fledged adults who are capable of taking care of themselves and have matured enough to a point where they can make rational decisions for themselves. Michael was twenty years old when he started “dating” Crusty in 2016. People make the argument of “he’s a mature adult he can do whatever he wants!!!” Um... in legal terms, yes, Michael is an “adult,” but twenty is nowhere near the age of maturity. I’m 19, and I know several people around that age, younger and older, who can’t make rational decisions to save their lives. Early adulthood is still a time for growing and figuring things out, and just because Michael is a famous musician doesn’t mean he isn’t still figuring things out. Also... do people know how Michael acted when he was 20? Watch him in interviews, I dare you to call him mature. I’m sure he’s mature in some aspects, but overall, he’s still a young adult who is still in a stage of developing maturity-wise.

So what does this have to do with Crusty? Well, with Michael being 20 when they started “dating,” that would make her 31. A 31-year-old woman dumping/cheating on her boyfriend (who was actually within her age range) to chase after a barely-legal dork from a decently famous pop punk group. Doesn’t that sound sketchy? In my eyes, she took advantage of everything in that situation: the fact she was a PR manager, the fact that Michael was young and naive, the notion that she would get more money and notoriety, and that Modest was probably in need of a beard, well... I’m sure she didn’t hesitate. For her, it’s a win-win-win situation. Just look at her! It doesn’t even look like she has to work that hard anymore, like she’s gone full LA influencer who gets sponsors up the wazoo and gets paid to be a beard. Her fucking dog is a walking advertisement (just look at southy’s ig page, it’s pretty much all sponsors). And no, I’m not saying she doesn’t work, but it seems like social media has taken up most of her life. And she barely even uses it for good/actually important issues. So there’s that.

Fun tidbit: she’s been working in the whole PR/entertainment realm since 2002. Michael was 7. Let that sink in.

Anyway, yeah, my point is that her “relationship” with Michael is pretty creepy. If the roles were reversed, that the younger was female and older was male, people would see it as creepy rather than “they’re both mature adults who can make their own decisions!!” 1. No, that’s a huge double standard, and 2. any time an older person goes after someone who is several years younger, regardless of sex, will always be sketchy in my (and a lot of other people’s) eyes.

5. She is a massive hypocrite in pretty much every way.

Oh, the positivity and sunshine her stans claim she spreads is more like a nasty downpour of hypocrisy and bullshit. Let’s start with this whole ‘spreading positivity’ thing she’s all about.

Crusty stans always say she’s all about spreading positivity and loving yourself and fuck the haters and blah blah blah. I already showed an example above of how she guilt tripped the fuck out of her audience, whether they support her or not. It wasn’t her trying to prove a point, it was straight up guilt tripping, especially because of how much she inserted herself into such situations. She could’ve worded it much differently that shed light rather than guilt.

And this whole being positive/loving yourself thing... well, that brings me to the age thing.

No one seems to know how old Crusty is. 34 is the mostly-agreed upon age, so let’s roll with that. It’s no secret she gets treatments, I mean, just look at this post:

She literally admits to it. And unfortunately I can’t find screenshots of her raving about the intravenous vitamin treatments among other things, but I do remember seeing them (if anyone has them, let us know!)

And it’s been shown she loves to use photoshop (not just on herself either). I mean, how could you go from this:

to this:

She doesn’t even look like the same person! If anything, it looks like she’s gotten younger instead of older... oh wait.

And she always does that pouty-lip thing, and I have a friend who says she thinks she sees lip fillers, which wouldn’t be that surprising. I mean, just look at this old picture of her:

Yeah, keep telling yourself that those lips are all natural.

Seriously... in pretty much every photo of her on her ig, she’s jutting her bottom lip out like it’s some duck face selfie from like, 2011. Please.

And her ass, well.

Here’s what we see:

And here’s some reality:

Bruh even Luke has a bigger ass than she does.

She posted a video on her twitter of her in the first picture saying something like “to all the people who think it’s photoshopped,” but y’know, it’s like... videos can be edited. Camera angles and poses can make an ass look bigger. Okay sis.

Fun fact: she deleted that picture of her by the pool, probably because people were making fun of how she literally had her bathing suit stuck in her ass. I mean, that’s what she gets for trying to make it look like she has one when she doesn’t.

Aaaaand here’s the heavy hitter:

When my friend saw this photo, she said that if she didn’t know Crusty was Michael’s girlfriend, she would’ve thought she was his mom. Y I K E S.

You can see the age literally everywhere. Her entire face, neck, and even the skin on her elbow in the second pic (it’s one of the first things I noticed tbh). And this was literally back in Bali 2019. You know, not even four months ago? Like damn, the sun really did her dirty lol. These pics are why me and many others question her actual age. She seriously looks like she could be in her forties in these photos, which, if she is, then her “relationship” with Michael gets even more fucked up.

Oh and she doesn’t just photoshop herself. You have this monstrosity:

Like what the fuck? Who are they trying to fool here????

And then this:

That’s a really... interesting ear.

So yeah, what part of Crusty’s face/body/everything is real? Not much! So, if she’s all about positivity, loving yourself, embracing your flaws and "fuck the haters" and whatnot, why can’t she practice what she preaches? You’re getting older, get the fuck over it and start acting like it, maybe start accepting it and stop getting treatments that will probably eventually backfire (like in the Bali pic).

Moving on from her looks, her entire attitude is just extremely hypocritical. I saw how she tries to preach online about mental health and how important it is to take care of yourself, and then she does shit like this:

So you’re just going to make fun of someone who’s struggled with severe drug addiction and eating disorder like that? She’s said on her twitter that her father was an addict, yet she’s going to make fun of someone who struggled with the same issue?

She’s considered a role model because she speaks out about this kind of stuff, including feminism, but let’s examine this a bit. This is her pinned tweet, and has been for a while:

Good message, yeah? Oh, but then she interacts with disgusting trash like Musty Collins:

Musty Collins, who puts on this whole sad boi~ act and then name drops 5sos to prey on underage girls. If Crusty’s so keen on empowering women, WHY DOES SHE INTERACT WITH A LITERAL PEDOPHILE WHO PREYS ON YOUNG GIRLS. Literally two of the most emotionally manipulative people in the world of 5sos. I guess that’s how they get along so well. They should just get together, but they wouldn’t because they’re too old for each other.

And of course it circles back to her fatphobic tweets. So much for empowering women.

Considering that spreading positivity is what she’s known for (besides being with Michael, yikes), it surprises me that she say something like this that goes against her entire spiel:

Uhh... sis, you are a fake ass public figure trying to get people to like you by saying random regurgitated greeting card BS online. Her ig stories are always screenshots of positive~ messages that are usually found on pinterest or some shit (not shading pinterest, don’t worry lol). That’s some greeting card BS regurgitation right there. Basically what this comment is saying is that she’ll only be nice to people who she thinks worthy of being nice to. A “realist” my ass. I’ve already gone over how “real” she is.

And then you have these ridiculous tweets:

“People are people no matter who they love or how old they are” “When did I say I was all about positive vibes?” Alright then.

I love how these tweets just SHOW how much of a hypocrite she is. Her entire “relationship” with Michael is shown through photos. Literally any time there’s a camera, she will take advantage of it and come up with an excuse to show off her relationship. Where’s the “human connection” you’re going on about? Oh wait, it’s not there, because their relationship isn’t real. Oops.

The second tweet.... just oof. She’s just tweeting about herself lmao.

I love how her excuse for her fucking up is just “I’M A HUMAN BEING WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!!!” Girl, in case you haven’t noticed, we are ALL human beings, just not all of us are assholes when we fuck up. And then she goes on about how “we are all just human beings and we should all love each other!!” Yeah, it all comes back full circle, one of hypocrisy.

And this isn’t really a reason why Crusty is the worst, just some tweets I saw that kinda made me laugh:

“Luke who?” Oh I don’t know, the guy that your fiance’s actually in love with? HA. She wishes she could be Luke. It’s hilarious how jealous she is of him, how, whenever Lemon content comes out or the spotlight falls on Luke somehow, Crusty has to post about her and Michael’s relationship/engagement to get the attention back on her. Let’s be real, she’ll never be as gorgeous as Luke is, and Michael will never love her like he loves Luke.

So, in conclusion, Crusty is just a fake lying hypocrite. No amount of “this was in the past!! she’s changed!!” excuses will ever change my mind. After all, a lot of things in this masterpost were fairly recent. She might not tweet those horrible things anymore, but her old self shines through sometimes in the form of “I’M HUMAN I MAKE MISTAKES!!!” If she’s really changed, why doesn’t she show it?It’s because she really hasn’t, she’s just gotten better at controlling her social media presence. And that, my friends, is why Crusty is the legit Worst™.

#peach #crusty #crustemort #crikey #sketch

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hxnjisxng · 6 years

Text

Snowdrops || Han Jisung || The Language of the Flowers AU ||

So idk i haven’t written in a really long time but i’m really excited for this so !! This is also my first time ever writing bullet thingie so,, yeah,,, not all of these will be in the bullet format I just felt like trying out smth new !! and to stay true to my ult Han Jisung i will write about him first. In this like,,, kinda cute little series thing. Every theme will kinda just relate to the flower meaning so,,, yeet !! Also, s/o to my one and only bub @chenle who told me to tag her when my first official writing thing happened so here !!!

Genre: Bad Boy!Jisung x Piano Player!Reader au; bulleted scenario

Warnings: none !!

Word Count: 3.2k

{picture not mine, credits to owner}

Snowdrop: (noun) A European flower which bears white flowers and blooms in February/early March, it signifies the end of winter and the coming of spring. Represents hope, purity, warmth, and new beginnings.

Ever since you were little you’ve known you’ve wanted to be a pianist

It all started when you were younger and you went to see an orchestra with your parents

They 100% expected you to fall asleep in the first,,, like,,, five seconds after you came into the theater

What they did not expect is for you to sit there starry eyed staring at the person playing the piano for a whole 3 hours

They were,,, sister shook,,,,

But they didn’t think much of it, you know, like yeah they just like classical music

You know, as one does

But the second y’all got back into the car that was it

You wouldn’t stop talking about how pretty the music sounded

How much you liked the sound of pressing keys and the sound of the pedal lifting or the sound of the mallets and strings inside of the piano

You loved it

It was as though you had just found your one and only true love, y’all know, the yee to your haw

The ying to your yang

The chris to your weed

Sorry back to the point

You just couldn’t explain it, little four year old you just knew the fluttering feeling in your heart was a good one

So your parents signed you up for piano

They said they would find you the best teacher they could, one that could make you great

So that’s what they did

From a week after that concert, you started piano lessons

And you only fell more in love with the piano as time went on

So, after this little bit of context, flash back to reality

oop there goes gravity oop

there goes rabbit he chokes

Sorry okay eminem is my calling

So it’s the end of winter, it’s been a really cold and bitter winter, but it’s around the end of february and somehow it just HaS noT gotten any warmer

And here we meet our boy jisung

Our chipmunk, our squirrel, our boi yk

But he’s a little bit of a hooligan

A bad boy if you will

You know, the leather jacket, the messy hair, the snarky attitude, the cocky jokes and the cute smile you knOW and he always always ALWAYS has a lollipop

A pink lemonade lollipop to be exact

It’s his favorite flavour

Any who, he’s one of those guys, the type of guy that almost everyone either wants to be him or with him

He’s also a part of a trio of you know bad boys at your school, the other two being his best buds Chan and Changbin

They call themselves 3RACHA

They’re as tight knit as can be, they do everything together

Skip class, hang out, throw parties

You know all that bAd bOY stUfF

He also has a slight reputation to get into fights every so often

Maybe not only so often

Maybe vERY often

But he’s trying his best okay those people just get on his nerves when they poke fun of one of his friends or his music

“I’m just a little misunderstood, okay I didn’t wanna break his nose it just sometimes happens, you know, my hand just kinda lost control of itself and hit him in the nose really really really hard. I swear.”

“Mr. Han, I distinctly remember you telling him to shove a stick up his, excuse my language, ass, and then proceeding to punch him.”

*them sitting in a perfectly silent office* “hM sorry it just got really loud in here, pardon???” :))))))

Real footage of Jisung last week after breaking some guy’s nose

He also loves loves LoVES music

Loves all music

Except for classical and country

He’s always despised classical music, it just seemed so boring

There’s no pounding beat

No lyrics to scream along to

He just found everything about it depressing and irritating and just monotone

Well one day, as he was wandering through the school

You know, as one does when their friends were busy doing who knows what during lunch

He stumbled into the music hall

Now this was an accident

He didn’t really want to be here since the only courses your school offered in terms of music were classical ones

And again

Gross

But for some weird, strange, odd-ball, out of this world, sister shook reason

He felt like he needed to be here

That’s when he heard it

tHE hiLLS aRE aLiVE wiTH

The sound of music

Not the kind of music he liked

It was definitely classical music, so y’all, it’s disgusting

‘I should go, the music is starting to make me depressed already’ he mumbled

But his feet wouldn’t move, his body just kinda froze

It felt like something was just pulling him to that room, to that ugly boring nasty music

And it’s not like he’s never listened to classical before, he had, but this time something was weird about it

He still didn’t like it, it all still sounded the same, nothing interesting

But something for some weiRD REASON was telling him to go to that room

Like something was a little different about the way it was being played

‘Maybe,,,, I should just look for a couple seconds and,,,,,,, tell the person to stop playing that boring stuff,,,, or maybe I could just listen for a bit,,, but like obviously no that’s nasty,,,,’

The door was slightly ajar, so the music was just drifting through the air

Just calling him over

Jisung slowly walked up to the door, and peeped through the window

And there you were

You, reader, in all of your piano classical music glory

Sat there playing your heart out to the world

In that moment when he saw you with your hair slightly drifting over your face

Your eyebrows slightly scrunched up in concentration as your hands ran across the keys

His heart was screaming

Literally just like

dabdikajbksbfkajbDNBDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

He almost forgot about the fact he hated classical music if he could just watch you play it all day

Wait,,, what no,,,,

Gross,,,,, the Han Jisung doesn’t like people that easily,,,,,, nuh-uh thats def not him folks

And he got so scared by that feeling

The one inside of his chest

He was scared of how it made his hands feel tingly and it made him feel like he stood up too fast because his head felt so rushed and light

It felt like he was flying, but also crashing down to earth at the same time

And when I say scared

I mean terrified

This boy is mortified of catching feelings

Definitely not because in the third grade the person he liked stomped all over his heart because they wouldn’t give him a cracker,,,,, no who even thOughT tHaT hAHa

Just the thought of him truly giving his whole heart to someone ?? unacceptable

Like in this economy ?? liking someone ?? unreasonable

So he did the only logical thing

He ran away

Far back to the other side of school

And he was so out of it for the rest of the day, he just couldn’t handle it

He even went back to class next period because he was so out of it

“W-welcome Mr. Han take a seat, it’s a pleasure to have you finally join us.”

“mm-hmm”

He didn’t pay attention all day though, his mind was only occupied by you

Cheesy, I know, but it was

Even when he went to hang out with Chan and Changbin

“Bro,,, where were you during lunch ?? you kinda just disappeared”

“I was uhhh,,,, in the library,,,”

“The library ?? are you good ???”

“Yeah,,,,, im fine it’s cool,,,”

“Dude, you alright you seem a little weird.”

“Yeah,,,,,,,,, im just thinking”

Jisung thInKing ??? unheard of

So, this terrified Chan and Changbin because whenever Jisung thinks it’s never good

But it’s been three days since he saw you

And he’s still thinking about you and he’s kinda emo about it

Because, of course, you occupied his thoughts, the song you were playing stuck in his mind on a loop

This is so cheesy please forgive me

It was so bad that he started hearing it everywhere, it even started placing itself into his music and the lyrics he was writing somehow all revolved around love

He’d sit there for hours writing lyrics until he realized all of it in some way tied back to you

It was bothering him

Like a lot

So now it’s been a whole six days, and trust me he’s been counting and he thought he could take it,,, you know not see you,,,

Until he’s had enough

He needed to go see you again otherwise he felt like his head would explode

And it wasn’t because he liked you or anything,,, he just wanted to see you so he wouldn’t write any more music about you,,,,, because this was just SuPeR gRoSS

So he went to the same hall, the same room, the same time, and there he saw you

Still working on the same part of the piece

It was just as beautiful as the first time he heard it and he honestly was in awe of how your hands moved across the piano as though they were as light as air

Anyone even from a million kilometers away could tell you were frustrated with this part

He wanted to tell you that you didn’t have to worry because it was beautiful

He wanted to just go in there and tell you that your playing is amazing and hold your hands and just comfort you

But he just couldn’t say anything

And he could always say something, he never stopped talking

And his heart was still doing the same flippity flop screaming thing in his chest

Big surprise, i know

But then,,,, he had a genius idea,,,, like spectacular,,,, like nobel prize winning idea,,,

“Maybe if i see them all the time,,,,, my heart will get used to it and it won’t flippity flop anymore :’D,,,,,,”

wow ,,,, genius i know you don’t have to tell him

So instead of saying anything, or ignoring you any longer, he decided

I’m just gonna come here and watch them play every day because as long as I see them and never talk to her,,,, eventually whatever weird heart thing i have will go away !!!!!

So that is exactly what he did

Every single day for the next coming three weeks,,, he would disappear during lunch and go and watch you play

Changbin and Chan were getting suspicious but they never asked,,, so Jisung thought he was so slick you know

So it’s been weeks of him doing this

It’s now around the end of February, and he planned on doing smth for Valentines day,,,

Not,, because he liked you or because it was valentines day, but because he just,,, somehow planned to do it for February 14th

He was really counting on his genius 10000+ IQ plan to work

But, surprise surprise, his plan was failing

It was almost as though he liked you APPRECIATED !! your playing even more after seeing you play :))))))

Just seeing you just so cutely hunched over the piano

It made his heart hurt wiTH APPRECIATION FOR YOUR ARTISTRY NOT L O V E

Haha obviously,,,,,, not love,,,,,, who even said that y’all hear summ ????

And he realized maybe he just ReaLLY REALLY reAllY wanted to be your friend !!

Really really close friend !!

And that’s why he wanted to talk to you !! And hold you !! Like F R I E N D S do !! haha !!

And you know this mentality was really working great, until one Thursday

It was near the beginning of March when it was getting a little warmer and all that green good grass was kinda appearing from under the snow,,, these little white flowers peeking out from under the melting snow and it was just so pretty that day

And all Jisung could think about was how beautiful you would look today outside

Holding his hand

In a totally PLATONIC and FRIENDLY way because he obviously just liked you as a friend

And maybe today he would tell you how much he wanted to be your friend :D

But that lunch you just didn’t show up for half an hour ??

He was confused,,,, like really confused

And also concerned ?? where were you,,, you were always here on time,, he even makes sure to show up 5 minutes after your usual arrival time so he could calmly sit outside of the door without getting caught

But today you weren’t there and he was about to leave and chicken out until he felt a hand on his shoulder

‘AHHHHHHHHHHHHH’

Istg he jumped like fifty feet in the air

“Hey,, you’re that guy who always sits outside when I practice !!! Han Jisung right ?? Sorry I was late I needed to talk to Mr.Park about a science assignment I have that’s due next week,, ”

Jisung.exe has stopped working

First of all,,,

yoU kNeW ?!?!?! and he thought he was so slick

Not only that you knew his nAMe and apologized for being late ??? did you like ??? cARE ABOUT HIM A LITTLE BIT

And he also just,,, kinda loved the way you just said his name

It made him UwU in ways he didn’t understand

In a friENDLY WAY

Oh who was he lying to at this point

Maybe he did like you just a LITTLE more than like a friend would like a friend

so what,,, sue him,,,,

He was so caught up in the million and five thoughts that were racing through his mind that he almost forgot to respond, so he managed to choke out the following charming and very expressive line:

“U-uh you know my name ???”

,,,,,good one Jisung,,, real smooth,,,,

You let out a light giggle and just kinda looked at him with this really soft expression

“Ofc I knew !!! I heard your foot tapping every single day and you also sat in front of an open door so,,, I kinda saw you the first day,,,”

SORRY NOT ONLY HAS JISUNG.EXE STOPPED WORKING HE JUST CRASHED ??? LIKE EXPLODED

Your hand,,,, was still on his shoulder,,, and you giggled again,,,,, how are you,,, so cute

Little did he know you freaked out the exaCt same way you saw him the first time in the hallways with his eyes closed and head leaning against the lockers

And not only that,,, he was just super pretty,,,

With the winter light perfectly hitting his face

His jacket slightly too big and it loosely drooped over his shoulders

I’m actually ruining myself imagining this wow thanks m e

So when you finally asked around after a couple days one of your friends told you who he was

The Han Jisung

The resident bad boy at your school, who liked to get into fights and allegedly also liked to play around with peoples hearts

Which didn’t exactly scare you well maybe it did a little bit but we’re not here to expose ourselves

First of all you’d like to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s probably just like any of us ?? people just kinda put him on a pedestal so you felt like you didn’t really need to treat him differently from anyone else

And with every time that he would sit outside of your practice room and listen you felt a little bit of that fear melting away because when he looked so relaxed and so pretty that his face just screamed UwU

But you gotta play it cool reader,,,because you’re slick and all that,,, you know

So you just kinda turn around and head into the music room without saying anything else

Which again gave him shock number 37429387129837 of the day

He was expecting you to do something,,, say something,,,,, but instead,,,,

You just smiled at him, and turned back to into the room, now sitting at the piano bench

He was confused

And mayhaps just the littlest bit disappointed

He knew that everyone knew him, and that’s usually not the kind of reaction he gets, usually he gets a whole OH mY iT’s HaN jiSuNg scream or an angry disgusted look from people who didn’t like him

But no

Not you

Yet, what could he do

He was going to just,, sit back down in the hallway in his usual spot, or maybe just get up and leave since his cover has been blown and you probably think he��s super creepy

When your voice called out for him inside of the room

“Are you gonna come in or what?”

A small smile spread on his face as he stood up, and he noticed you had already set up a chair for him next to you at the piano

“So,,,, do you like classical music?”

“Um,, not really,, no.”

“Then,, why did you sit outside every day ??”

You asked confused, your eyebrows slightly furrowing staring at him with intent

And he just found that so cute

So so so cute

So cute that it just made any confidence he had just disappear

“I-I justreallylikethewayyouplayitsoundsnice.”

He just really wanted you to stop looking at him like that it was going to make him actually just explode

You gave a breathy laugh at his cute antics,,, what was there not to like about this boy,,, I mean what a softie

Maybe he wasn’t too bad, ya know

Nothing to be afraid of

“You wanna hear me play one of my favorite songs?”

Jisung nodded his head, his hair lightly flopping on his forehead, kinda covering his eyes

Oh how bad you wanted to brush it out of his eyes and just pinch his cheeks but, alas, it shall not happen

Or will it ;);););;;;))))))))

So you with a light inhale you began playing on of your favorite pieces, it was strong and domineering, with an edge of superiority

If ya wanna check it out it’s actually one of my favorite pieces it’s Rachmaninoff’s Prelude in G Minor, Op. 23, No. 5

As soon as you started, Jisung was already in a trance, the way your hands moved, the sound of your breath hitching every huge chord or octave jump

Damn Jisung was whipped

When you smiled at him after you finished the piece

With your eyes so bright, finally breathing normally again, and just a light pink blush that swept across your face

He felt his heart beat fast again

But this time

Mayhaps he didn’t want to run away

“So, what did you think? Did you like it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like classical music maybe a little bit more now ??”

You asked with just the biggest grin on your face

“Hmm,, no i don’t think so,,” Jisung responded with the cheekiest smile known to mankind

“Then,,, I think you’re gonna have to come back here tomorrow so I can change your mind about that” ;)));))))))

WOWOW,, alright reader do y’all ever get tired of being so cute ??

As you continued playing the marvelous thought dawned upon Jisung

So maybe he did like classical music just a little bit more now

And,, maybe his heart beat faster with every second you looked at him

And maybe that feeling is not as bad as a thing as he thought it would be

Maybe it’s actually just the littlest bit nice

Just a little bit

380 notes · View notes

evesbeve · 5 years

Note

~All. Of. Them.~ ☺

99 gay-ish asks

… you know WHAT.

FINE.

I’LL DO ALL OF THEM.

LONG ANSWER UNDER THE TAG, HA V E FUN-

1. how tall are you?

I am 159cm aka 5′3ft!

2. what is your body type?

According to the first Google Image result I got, it’s between “Banana Shape” and “Apple Shape”. I have no idea who came up with these terms. But there you go.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

My nails-

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

My hair is brunette, which is also my natural hair color!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I’d like to think I’m outgoing, but we all know the truth rip

6. are you more femme or butch?

Depends on the day-

7. are you tol or smol?

I definitely wouldn’t call myself tol, so smol, I guess!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Sober Mom

9. weird habit?

The door has to be either fully closed or fully open. Don’t fite me on this-

10. favorite meme?

Too many to count, but this is one of my favourites right now-

but also like, most of my faves at the moment are actually memes with pictures of me and my friends XD

11. do you sing in the shower?

Hell yes!!

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

Yep!

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

(Answered here)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nope, but I’ve seen Aladdin’s counterpart to broadway in London! So it’s like, the exact same thing, but in London XD

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes. Do I think it makes them less enjoyable though? Nope.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

It’s a complicated story, but I have!

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

Gooood, it’s been so long since I’ve played CAH! I have no idea ;;

18. last movie you watched?

I think it was Far From Home!

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

I’m usually the one taking pictures and filming my friends (they better thank me in 10 years) but to be honest, I wish they’d take some more pics of me to look back to too. I do enjoy filming though, so I guess behind!

20. favorite tv show?

Right now, it’s definitely The Umbrella Academy!

21. meaning behind your url

My name is Evelina, and I am online

22. reason you joined tumblr

To follow a project I used to like on YouTube ^^

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

I mean, @clumsinessinperson, @xxwhisperapplexx, @hollsheadcanons and @spinharmony started out as tumblr friends, but now we’ve known each other for more than a year and they’re my best friends in the world ;w;

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Olives. Peas. Crocs.

uPDATE: i READ THAT QUESTION WRONG, I THOUGHT IT SAID THE OPPOSITE, I LOVE ALL THESE THREE THINGS

I do hate BBQ sauce with PASSION though-

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

I mean, only when I got my teeth extracted XD

26. have you had sex?

Nope.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

I’ve never sneaked out before, so nah. My phone caught me on my phone at 5am once, does that count?

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

(Answered here)

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

The ocean’s waves clash at the coast. They drown in themselves. They help the boats move. But sometimes, the ocean is quiet.

30. describe your best friend.

Nearly impossible to describe a 100 people in one sentence, but none of them have braincells.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

NOT AGAIN, ANSWERED HERE.

32. how do you feel right now?

Energetic!!

33. what is your biggest fear?

Dying

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

(Answered here)

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Honestly, uploading my stories.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

MANY TIMES. But hey, that’s life. And that doesn’t mean that it’ll always disappoint you. Keep trying, everyone!

37. something you fantasize about.

MEETING MY ONLINE FRIENDS IRL ;W;

38. last time you cried and why

This morning because I had a fight with my mom lmao

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

Me.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Sure do *dabs*

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

@xxwhisperapplexx, @clumsinessinperson, @aesthetically-bitching and my other irl fren who doesn’t have tumblr but he is a dumbass!!

42. the last time you felt broken?

SEE 38, RIP (I’m okay now tho, dw!)

43. are you starting to realize anything?

I wanna be a director or a scriptwriter or something!! Just work in the movies!!

44. are you more dominant or more submissive?

Dominant, but I can be just as submissive!

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if I love you?? Why would I date someone I don’t love?

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

Uhhh look, I’m 16, so the same age, lol. And even if I was older, age doesn’t matter as long as it’s not creepy and predatory, you know?

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

I don’t have a crush at the moment, thANK GOD.

48. do you have any kinks?

Bye.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

(Answered here)

50. how can someone win your heart?

Step One: Stan Ben Hargreeves.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Nop. Never confessed-

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Yes.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

No.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

I mean, I wouldn’t trust someone I just met with my life, but I do have faith in people ^^

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

I do not,,, have a crush,,,

56. is confidence cute?

Everything positive is cute.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

I don’t like someone right now but if it were to happen, I wouldn’t say anything? It’s their life.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Everyone makes me laugh. I must hate the person then XD

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH AAAAA

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

Yes, like a bazillion times.

61. do you want to get married

I’m open to it!

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Honestly, I was trying to think of a serious answer, I PROMISE, but then I remembered that when I was little my parents had pissed me off so badly, and I quoted a Barbie movie that said “You’re ruining my life!” like an angry toddler.

Then they threatened to never let me watch Barbie again because it was a bad influence, anD I MEAN. It was what it was XD

Note: They never banned Barbie.

63. three things that turn you on.

How did you know I was an android.

64. who do you hate?

Hate is a strong word, lmao.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Unironically, it’s “boo” XD

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

I WAS WONDERING IF THERE WAS A QUESTION LIKE THAT, honestly I do not remember. Probably someone from Winx.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both are valid.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

I don’t look, they hit me in the head.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

All. All the girls.

70. are you good at flirting?

Yes, actually XD

71. who was the first person you came out to?

Probably @aesthetically-bitching, I think!

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

yeet

73. is your crush wlw?

don’t have a crush, but used to-

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

I have no idea, I’ve known I was bi since 6th grade.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

Not all the steps you walked on are stableBut that’s okayReaching the top requires a few

76. do you fall in love easily?

I’ve only fallen like in love twice. Crushes are way different, and I’d say kinda…?

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yeah. But I hate talking about it.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep. If you notice I’m sad, I want you to notice I’m sad.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Mhm!

80. what is your “type?”

Ironically, Eudora Patch from The Umbrella Academy is a very good depiction of my type. (Note: Personality wise. Looks genuinely don’t matter to me, everyone is BEAUTIFUL.)

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

I am a little spoon inside and out-

82. tall girls or short girls?

Doesn’t matter-

83. hugs or kisses?

Hugs!! kisses kinda make me uncomfortable most of the time to be honest

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

b O T H

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

Tummy-

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Hairline,,,

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair!!

88. making out or soft kisses?

Soft kisses, definitely. Not that I’ve kissed anyone before, but oh well XD

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Neck…? I’d say neck.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

It took me a while, but I am very confident in it right now!

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies™

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

I have, and I told them absolutely nothing

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

*shrugs* young XD

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

All girls are cute girls. So many things.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

THIS QUESTION IS STRESSING ME OUT, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CHOOSE. Honestly, Alphys and Undyne are a hard one to top, aND ALSO CANON

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“You’re just confused.”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

… I don’t know what to tell you.

98. what is love to you?

Love is complicated.

To me, it’s not about having a partner. Actually, loving someone regardless of romantic feelings is way more important, in my opinion. These things can co-exist, and loving a friend is just as important loving a lover.

The lack of it can hurt, especially being forced out of it. But feeling love? I don’t know. It’s one of the most beautiful feelings ever. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by it.

I really love this article on it! It’s about the 8 types of love the ancient greeks had, and as I greek person myself, I think highly of it. I highly recommend reading it!

99. ask me anything. (bUt since no one specified, I’ll ask myself: Why do this and what did I learn from this?)

I did this because I am stubborn. Also I genuinely liked the questions XD

What I learned from this experience is that I really love answering questions, oops-

If you made it this far, I don’t know what to tell you. You deserve a golden star, my dude.

ANYWAY, NEVER AGAIN.

#evelina nonesense #anon #ask #gayish asks #i can't believe i did this

8 notes · View notes

sureuncertainty · 5 years

Text

A Dark and Stormy Night: Ch 6

Overview: A modern day retelling of Shakespeare’s The Tempest, reimagined as a ghost story in an old mansion in the middle of nowhere.

Words: 2300

Warnings: language

Author’s Note: MORE GAY SHIT YEET Previous chapters: one, two three four five Ao3 link

Fernanda stared at the daunting task in front of her. Shelves, reaching so far up towards the ceiling that it seemed endless. She felt like she was standing in front of the library from Beauty and the Beast, but the problem was that Fernanda was no Belle and she absolutely hated reading. Okay, maybe the shelves weren’t that tall, but to Fernanda they may as well have been Mt. Everest. And to take out all the books and alphabetize them… there had to be hundreds of books on those shelves. This task would take seventy years to complete. Fernanda took a deep breath.

How had she ended up here? The middle of the night, in a mansion on the side of a creepy highway, in the middle of a thunderstorm, alphabetizing books in the library room of said mansion, in order to win the affections of a cute girl she’d just met but also had been making out with earlier. Or rather, because said girl’s very scary mother had commanded her to, once she woke up from her ghost-induced sleep that she’d put her under. And it had all started because she’d been dragged along on a trip she didn’t even want to go on.

She had to admit though, the cute girl was nice. Other than that though…

“I’m so sorry, Fernanda!” Miranda burst into the library, panting as if she’d been running a long way. “I’m so sorry, my mother is… ridiculous, I have no idea why she’s treating you this way.”

“Nah, it’s cool,” Fern found herself saying.

“No, it’s not. Are you… are you in shock? What was it? The ghosts? Ariel’s not mean, but he does whatever my mother tells him to do.”

Fern stared at her. “Ariel? Like… from The Little Mermaid?”

“That’s the part you’re hung up on?”

“He’s a ghost, you said? Uh. Okay.” Fern had a weird feeling as if she was dreaming, like if she pinched herself, she’d wake up immediately, but as dreamlike and strange as this felt, she was fairly positive she was awake. Suddenly another option sprang to mind.

“Oh my god. Miranda, did your mom drug me?”

“What?!”

“That would explain the hallucinations… the fact that I passed out earlier… and now he’s trying to keep me busy while it wears off? Is any of this even real?!”

“It wasn’t drugs, I promise!” Miranda cried. “It was just one of Ariel’s spells. He’s a ghost, and has ghost magic.”

“Oh. It wasn’t drugs. It was ghost magic. Duh.”

“No, I’m serious…” Miranda said. “Trust me, Fern. I’ve lived here my entire life, I’ve seen what these ghosts do. I know it seems weird and crazy but this is my life, this is my normal. I can imagine this might be a shock to you… just like it’s… kind of a shock to me as well to be honest.”

“I mean, yeah, you’ve seriously never seen another person in your life before until me? Like that’s fucking insane.” She glanced back at the bookshelves and sighed. “Well, better get to work I guess. Dunno what other choice I have. Guess it’s not too bad. Not when it’s for you.”

“For me?”

“Yeah, dude, your mom told me I had to do this and I figured I had to build credibility with her, you know? Like so she likes me and stuff. So I can, uh… you know. Be… With. You?”

Miranda stared at her, something in her chest fluttering at the way Fern looked at her. She took a deep breath.

“Oh,” she said in a very small voice. “Um. Do you… uh… need help?”

“No, no, no, don’t worry, I got this!” Fernanda said immediately. “I don’t need help, trust me.”

“Please, here, let me just…” Miranda reached across and grabbed one of the books to check the author’s name and Fernanda shook her head. “No! I got it.”

Normally, Fernanda would complain or just refuse to do such a tedious task, but in this case… it seriously was like she almost wanted to do it. Was this what being a nerd was like?

“Thanks,” Miranda said quietly. “For doing that. I’m so sorry about my mother.”

“You said, uh… you said that you… that this is your life? And that you’ve never… even seen another person besides your mom before? That’s… that’s seriously insane.”

“I’ve read books! But… yeah, I mostly just stay here with my mom and the ghosts. The ghosts aren’t too bad, but they get boring after a bit.”

“The… ghosts. Get boring.”

“Well, yeah! I mean there’s not much for them to talk about, they just hang out here, not really knowing what to do. Not everyone comes back as a ghost you know, and also not everyone can even see them. My mom basically makes them work for her so she can feel like she has control over something in her life.”

“So uh… how… how did you… like… get here? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Miranda sighed, picking up a book and stroking the spine absentmindedly, sitting in one of the large chairs by the shelves to watch Fern work. “I don’t really know. Mom never really explained it to me until… tonight actually. But… I guess Mom had a brother, my uncle, who was really jealous of her, and took the money my grandparents were supposed to give to her. They gave her this house which was, nice of them I guess, but like… even a giant house like this is boring once you get used to it. It’s just me and my mom, and it feels like it’ll be this way forever…”

“Why don’t you just leave? Is your mom keeping you trapped here?”

“No! Trust me, if it were up to her, I wouldn’t even be here. She’s the only one wh can’t go home, but… I… I chose to stay. With her. Until I’m old enough to do stuff on my own at least. I mean, I’m only fifteen.”

“I’m sixteen, but like… I can do stuff on my own. Couldn’t you at least like… I dunno, make a trip into town or something?”

“I mean… maybe… but I don’t know anyone.”

Fern set down the book she was holding and looked Miranda in the eyes. “You know me.”

“Oh. Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“Hey, I know! You should like… come back with us. Just for a bit. Maybe if I find my dad and stuff, I can convince him to let you come back home with us and stay for a while. I’ll show you my house. It’s big but like… not a mansion or anything.”

“Oh… um… I’d have to ask my mom. I wouldn’t want to hurt her.”

“Yeah, but like… what about what you want?”

“I want Mom to be happy!”

“Yeah, but like what would make you happy? What do you… like? What do you love? What’s something that you couldn’t live without! And don’t say your mom.”

Miranda thought for a second. “Uhhh… I really like… painting! I paint sometimes. And listen to music.”

“Holy shit! Music!” An idea burst onto her, and she reached into her pocket to pull out her cell phone. Still no signal but fortunately she had some songs downloaded. She pressed play on one of her favorites, and turned the volume up, setting the phone on the shelf. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that before. Music will make the time go by faster.”

Rock music blared from the tinny speaker of Fernanda’s phone, but Miranda smiled, bobbing her head to the beat. “This is nice! Not really the kind of music I usually listen to, but I like it!”

“Awesome! This is one of my favorite bands. I got a poster of ‘em up in my room back home. Still waiting for them to come through on tour sometime… It’s been a dream of mine to go to one of their concerts for like four years.”

“Maybe if I came to the city with you…” Miranda said slowly. “I could… listen to more music. Or see more paintings.”

“There’s like an art museum nearby. It’s for nerds. Which… I guess you are.”

“But… I can’t,” she said, averting her eyes. “Mom would never want me to leave her. She’d be so lonely. I can’t imagine being here alone with no one but the ghosts for company. Caliban can be funny sometimes, but even he gets old after a while, and Ariel is awfully dull…”

“You must really like your mom, huh?”

“Of course I do. She’s the only family I have.”

“Hm. Must be nice.”

“What?”

“You know. Having someone who like… actually cares about you. And shit.” Fern mumbled into the book she was holding, which she quickly shoved into the stack.

Miranda didn’t say anything for a second, and Fern felt her face flushing. There was something about this girl that made her want to be honest about the way she felt… she barely knew her, and yes they’d kissed a bit earlier, but this was… different. This was a type of vulnerability that Fernanda never showed with anyone, not even her past girlfriends. She’d always been more of a casual relationship person.

“I’m sorry,” Miranda said finally.

“’s all right,” Fern said as flippantly as she could. “My dad’s all right, I guess, he’s just… really busy. So’s my mom. They both work, and they care a lot about making money so they kinda just buy me shit and leave me to my own devices. I’m sixteen years old and I literally still have like… a nanny.”

“What’s that?”

“Oh, you know, like a babysitter. Someone who watches you and keeps you out of trouble. Dad hired this punk ass lady named Stephanie. I used to have a crush on her when I was little. Then I realized she’s wayyyy out of my league. But… she stuck around, for whatever reason. I think she’s the only person who can fucking stand me.”

Miranda was quiet again for a few seconds, and the blare of the music was the only sound. “I can stand you,” she said. “I like you a lot actually.”

Fern’s face heated up again and her heart skipped a beat. “Oh.” She stopped reading the spines of books and stared down at the ground. “Thanks.”

“Of course. You’re… so interesting. So much more interesting than everyone else I spend time with. Even more interesting than my mom.”

Fern burst out laughing. “Oh. Glad to know I’m more interesting than your mom.”

“That’s a huge compliment!” Miranda said, almost indignantly.

Fern looked up at her, and it was as if her heart had melted. She sat there, looking so innocently confused at why Fern was laughing so much, her blue beanie pulled down almost to her eyes, her knees drawn up to her chest on the couch, staring at her through her big brown eyes, and suddenly, Fern was overcome with emotion. But not just… that she wanted to kiss her (which she very much did). It was… weirdly more than that. She wanted to know her better. To spend time with her. It was a strange feeling, unlike how she’d felt in previous relationships or even with previous crushes.

“Miranda, I hope you realize that I’m being serious when I say I’ve never felt this way about anyone else in my life. Not any of my exes. Not any of my crushes.”

“How… do you feel?” Miranda asked, leaning forward on the edge of her seat.

Fern stood and walked over to where she sat. “I think… I’m falling for you? Like seriously falling for you.”

“Oh. Like falling… over?”

“In love.”

“Love? With me?”

“I know you probably don’t wanna be with me. You don’t know me, okay? What you see of me now, this is… a weird part of me, a part of me that’s not… normally me. I’m not… I’m not making sense. I guess… I’m not the type of girl to… alphabetize books. I don’t normally do this. I’m… I’m loud and obnoxious and I talk too much and I’m selfish and entitled and… and I’m not the person for you. You’re quiet and sweet and innocent and I say fuck every other sentence and I…”

Miranda cut her off with another kiss, a very soft one this time, and then she pulled apart, putting her hands on Fern’s sides, and Fern’s face flushed deeper, if possible.

“I don’t care about any of that,” she said. “You’re bold and you’re beautiful, and I like when you say fuck even though I don’t know what that word means.”

I could show you, was what Fernanda wanted to say, but she didn’t. Instead she just giggled slightly and pressed her forehead into Miranda’s.

“Thanks. That… means a lot to me.”

“You mean a lot to me. Do you want to be… like my… uh… what’s the word…?”

“Girlfriend?”

“Yes. That’s it. My girlfriend.”

“Fuck yeah!” Fern cleared her throat. “Uh, sorry, I mean, uh, yes. Yes, yes, I would like that very much. To be your… uh… your girlfriend.”

Miranda smiled, the sweetest smile Fern had ever seen, and she noticed the dimple on one side of her mouth, and her golden freckles sprinkled across her face…

“Thank you,” Miranda said softly. “Sorry for distracting you from your job.”

“Are you kidding me? That doesn’t matter,” Fern said, waving her hand dismissively. “I only want you.”

She leaned forward and kissed her again, and this time it felt even better than the last time, more real if anything. All of her insecurities seemed to melt away.

So it made sense that she didn’t even notice Prospera in the corner of the room, smiling as another part of her plan fell quite neatly into place.

#my writing #the tempest #shakespeare #shakespeare fanfic #here y'all go!!!#the like 2 people reading this #also prospera is a woman now

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naihexiang · 6 years

Text

tagged by @allura-hime thanks so much for mentioning me!

last?

drink: milk. go ahead, you can laugh; i actually like milk phone call: tried calling my friend yesterday bc it was her birthday text message: they don’t tho... (talking to my friend about the hnk gems not having teeth) song you listened to: What is Love - Twice time you cried: fan expo, probably. the vld voice actors walked past me while i was looking for my friend by the washrooms and i was just in complete shock that it was even happening so...

ever?

dated someone twice: no kissed someone and regretted it: no been cheated on: nope lost someone special: uhhh does my stuffed dog count gotten drunk and thrown up: no fave colors? blue, red, black, white

in the last year have you?

made new friends: i think so? fallen out of love: yeah actually laughed until you cried: see my story about fan expo :’) found out someone was talking about you: i don’t think so i think met someone who changed you: uhhhhh i don’t know yet found out who your friends are: i mean, i’ve gotten to know them more so yeah i guess? kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: i only just got on facebook, so no

general

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all my facebook friends are just my family so all of them do you have any pets: a dog named forest and a guinea pig named serafina do you want to change your name: maybe???? i probably won’t tho what did you do for your last birthday: my family got tickets to fan expo, so that was fun. the night of my actual birthday, we went out and ate ramen. it was good. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhh maybe like 4?? but then i fell back asleep and woke up at 7:30 what were you doing last night at midnight: sleeping what is something you can’t wait for: my youth group retreat! we’re going somewhere new so that’ll be fun what are you listening to right now: my computer engineering teacher talking :’) have you ever talked to a person named tom: don’t think so... something that gets on your nerves: in-game ads that are just super repetitive. i mean, it’s the exact same game but with vaguely different names and images! ugh most visited website: tumblr, what did you think? hair colour: black. i have like reddish streaks in it but they’re fading now long or short hair: like inbetween? i want longer hair, but right now it’s just shoulder length what do you like about yourself: my writing’s decent??? i think???? want any piercings: hmmmm i’m not really sure maybe like a few more in my ears? blood type: i have no idea. my mom says maybe A???? nicknames: none, really lol relationship status: single mostly because i’m too focused on my fictional crushes than people irl zodiac sign: Virgo pronouns: she/her fave tv show: uhhhhhhh over the garden wall’s one of them tattoos: none (but i want some. plus, i draw on myself in pen all the time so) right or left handed: right ever had surgery: no piercings: just ears for now sports: dance (ballet), and i kinda wanna go back to swimming. skating and skiing are fun, but it’s not really winter yet lol vacation: tbh i really wanna do like a world tour kinda thing trainers: what do u mean eating: nothing, but i wish i was eating ice cream or something rn drinking: my own spit :’) i’m about to watch: started re-watching the first captain america movie two nights ago, and i’m still working on it. not sure what i’ll watch after... waiting for: the new chapter of houseki no kuni (someone pls help phos) want: the bortz wig i ordered last weekend (i’m gonna cosplay with my friend for halloween) get married: not a big concern rn. i mean maybe it’d be nice but mostly i see myself living alone in a nice house in the middle of nowhere with some cats and a garden career: i want to get into research or archiving hugs or kisses: both! lips or eyes: bOTH shorter or taller: BOTH older or younger: uhhhh idk nice arms or stomach: .....arms? hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: idk maybe both

have you ever?

kissed a stranger: no drank hard liquor: no (i did try alcohol at some point and hated cause it tasted bad but it wasn’t even that much, like just a piece of bread dipped in wine) lost glasses: you have no idea turned someone down: for what tho? sex on the first date: i’ve never gone on a first date so yeet i guess broken someone’s heart: no???? had your heart broken: i don’t remember that ever happening so no? been arrested: no thank goodness cried when someone died: when someone irl died? not really. when someone fictional died? hell yeah fallen for a friend: don’t think so...

do you believe in

yourself: hahahahahaha no miracles: i mean... i really want to love at first sight: kind of kiss on the first date: yeah angels: yeah (at least i hope so)

other?

best friend’s name: marissa and emily eye colour: dark brown fave movie: PLEASE DON’T ASK (i’m kidding it’s coraline) favourite actor: uhhhhhh tom holland is cute. i’m not really into the whole celebrity crush thing... favourite food: at this point in time? tonkatsu ramen extrovert or introvert: introvert, definitely favourite flower: the japanese camellia (it’s so pretty) favourite hello kitty character? i don’t really know hello kitty tbh

tagging @noirfos, @celancestial, @p-greentea, @nana-shiros, and uhhhh anyone else really

#connie speaks #i was tagged

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bolbianddolanhouse · 4 years

Text

BNHA self insert AU [Book 3]

New? Read here! Then here!

Chapter 4: It’s Funny, Because It’s True

*deep breath in* hold for 5 seconds...release “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“What the fuck was that for?!” Tensei yelled from his bed “It’s too early for this screaming shit!”

“But it’s Wednesday my dude” I justified as I levitated from my bed “Big things are happening today!”

“Whatever Iwa” Tensei rolled his eyes as he laid back down on his side “I’m going back to sleep because I don’t want to face my day at 5am like a maniac!”

I hummed as I took my time to get ready, taking up all of the counter space in the bathroom. Today I get to know where I land on the intel class ranking and hero class ranking! I really want to know where I’m at because my parents and Lili were up there in the top 10. So who knows where I’ll be!

To recap some lost time...it’s almost 2 months in this bitch and I’ve been worked to the bone with the training. That one classmate still hates me, Gon-kun and I are friends (I guess, if you count screaming my name in passing or when I’m in the bathroom as friendship) and Beizu is still working on the device. Speaking of that device, I’ve been thinking of some dates to peek into to better understand how my mom was as a student. To be quite honest, she doesn’t like talking about the UA days and I want to know why. Also it was kinda adorable that my dad made my mom lunch as a teen, now I wanna know how things were in the beginning for their love story.

“You seem to be very excited to be early for school” commented my dad as he drove “What’s the occasion?”

I get a little flustered “Well uhhh, there’s just a lot things to tackle today” I managed to say.

“You can tell me! Are you going to meet up with a classmate?” asked Dad as they stop at a traffic light “I’d rush to school to meet up with your mom before class.”

“Why?” I asked, furrowing my brow.

“I liked your mom and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her. I didn’t know it was love until somebody pointed it out” he confessed “She thought I was annoying but I was just trying to get all her attention to get into her heart...if you find someone that you want to be around with always, don’t let go of them like how I did.”

That last part confused me “But you still ended up with mom?”

“Yes, she’s my one and only! But I was stupid when I was teenager” he turned into the main street that passes UA “She slipped right through my fingers and somebody else dated her that seemed like their dream boy. So I didn’t get my turn until I was 23 but I live with the regret that I didn’t tell her sooner. If I did, who knows?! We’d probably have more children or have older children at this point.”

I didn’t say anything the rest of the way to school. I was too busy thinking about the time gap between when they graduated UA to when he started dating mom. That’s like 4 years! Now I’m even more curious on why didn’t he say anything.

“I did the thing!” exclaimed Beizu as he took out the device “want to test it?”

“Sure! We have like, an hour to kill” I got excited “I want to see something.”

I lead them to the hero wing, where the 1-A classroom is. “The hero area?” questioned Beizu.

“Yup, I want to see the day my parents met” I looked around to see if anyone was around to hear “I want to know how it went and who’s story is the most accurate.”

Beizu hands me the device “Here, you can punch in the date on this keypad.”

I look at the keypad “Bei...this is a just a flip phone wired and wielded onto the cube.”

“You try making a keyboard small enough to fit on this!” huffed Beizu “It works just fine, go ahead and try to say I was wrong.”

“Fine, I’m punching it in” I rolled my eyes as I typed in the date “..And- YEET!” I hit the button and the hologram popped up so vividly. I saw young mom walking down the hall, stressfully drinking her coffee.

“Wow, with that hair style, you look just like her!” commented Beizu “She looks so adorable with her little loafers and pink backpack. And that pink coffee cup barely fits in her hand! I just wanna hug her!”

I watch her take a deep breath before opening the door “Dang, I do act like her too.” I keep watching, following her into the classroom “WOAH! Look at those young faces?! There’s Deku! Mr Bakugo and Mr Kirishima! Mr Tokoyami looks pretty much the same...eww I don’t like how Mr Mineta is looking at my mom” I looked at the rest of the class and saw my dad “He’s not reacting to her...then when did he-” my attention shifted to how my mom gave everyone cookies “So the cookies ARE important! Thats so cool!”

“I always thought they were just your mom’s favorite cookies and that’s why your dad made them” Beizu said wide eyed “Your dad is such a romantic!”

We kept watching and then came the after class part “Oop! Look he’s walking up to her!” I watched and followed them to the hallway, where my dad grabs her by the wrist “What the- STOP YOU DUMBASS!”

“What was he thinking?! That had to be so scary for your mom” gasped Beizu “I wanna beat your dad up for this!”

When my mom started crying, that shit HURTED! “Oh no! Don’t cry mom” I felt sorry for her, like she was right here in the present “What a jerk! No wonder mom thought your were annoying, you hurt her!”

“Lets follow him!” Beizu pointed at my dad walking down the hall, toward the stairs “I want to know what he did after!”

We followed him down to the old garden, and that shit looked neglected back then!

“What is he doing?” I said as I saw him take out a little notebook and pen from his inner uniform pocket “writing something?”

We watched him write a list of things but the top of the list was ‘ask Tensei how he made friends’. And the other things were ‘ask for her number’, ‘ask what’s her favorite food’, ‘don’t talk about her quirk’, ‘oatmeal cookie with chocolate chips?’. But what puzzled us was the last part he wrote ‘I want to be friends with Palma-san, she seems really nice but she looks lonely and tired. Maybe I’m too scary looking? Too rough? She’s so small compared to me, perhaps I should be more gentle.’

Beizu and I looked at each other “What in the actual fuck?” I broke the silence.

“So like, did your parents not want to admit they didn’t have a good start?” Beizu questioned “I just assumed it was love at first sight.”

“No, my dad told me he didn’t date my mom until his twenties” the image paused, then fizzled away “Now I want to know why! We know the start and at some point they had lunch together at the tree.”

“Ooh! What if your mom had a harem!” Beizu gasped as we walked to homeroom.

“Nah, she doesn’t have the heart to have a group of lovers that serve her” I scoffed “she hates it when my dad reaches something for her without asking! It was probably a long term boyfriend that got in the way.”

Now that I really think about it, I never heard my parent’s love story! Or if my parents dated other people before they eventually did. I wanna ask somebody for the answers, but who?

“...Take a look at your ranking class!” the sound of Hansai sensei’s voice broke me out of thought.

“Look! I’m in the rank below you!” Beizu pointed out to me.

I look, I’m 6th in the class ranking! Better than I thought!

“You may take all of the rest of homeroom and weaponry to work on your projects” Hansai announced “Master Oleshin had agent work to attend to of high priority.”

“Oh dang, we only have her for 2 times a week” Beizu pondered “hope everything is okay.”

“My mom had to leave very early this morning too, not surprised aunty Mimi isn’t here either” I responded as I flipped to the class packet “If we do our things right, we’ll be done 3 weeks before this is due.”

“That sounds about right” Beizu palmed the device in his hand “wanna look into a different time?”

“Yuh! Lets go to that one creepy hallway” I suggested. We briskly walked to the area, mainly because that’s near where the 3rd year intel students hang out and they’re scary. We stood there and Beizu handed me the device. Without saying anything, I punched in a date.

“What year is this?” asked Beizu as the image showed us a plain looking hallway.

“It’s still our mom’s first year, I just put a date where it would be after the sports festival but before my mom’s practice exam” I say as I watched all the students from the past, pass by like normal. Then something caught my attention “Wait, that’s my mom.” She was...smiling? She just looked happier here and excited to be somewhere? We followed her to the outside patio “Wha- who’s that?”

We watched my mom run up to this tall boy with yellow hair. And they held hands as they walked toward the front gates.

“The scandal! Hand holding with that boy?!” Beizu said to stir the pot.

“Shut up! I wanna hear what they’re saying” I shushed him as I strained to hear.

“...you don’t have to walk me to the dorms!”

“I want to! I’m your boyfriend now...”

“You’re too sweet!”

“Not as sweet as you”

The gasps Beizu and I made when we saw them kiss were unholy and something out of a novela.

“I wish I knew who that dude is!” I growled to myself “he looks familiar!”

“Yo, speaking of familiar” Beizu said as he pointed my head to the far right.

“Oh no” I said in pity, looking at my dad looking from behind a tree “Poor thing, he probably waited for her to walk together.” I watched as my dad sat on the ground and started crying like he was heartbroken. It was kind of hard to look at but at the same time, I know what happens at the end! “I don’t know why my dad didn’t take the chance?! If I found somebody like that, I’d tell them that I like them so they don’t go around like that with other boys.”

Beizu looked at me “I mean...do you have feelings for somebody?”

“What? No, er- At least, not right now” I stammered, taken off guard “Who has time for love when you get mountains of homework like me?!”

The hologram fizzled away “Come on, you can tell me! I’ll tell you who I like.”

“I’m telling you I don’t have a crush on anybody!” I fumed, trying to keep my voice down “serio, and it’s not because I find everyone around me not attractive! It’s because I’m kind of scared to have a crush now that we’re in hero school. Like, what if I’m making a big mistake and repeat what my mom did? Or what my dad did? You saw that they’ve slow burned for YEARS! I want to be sure I’m in love before I jump in. So I just decided to just start dating after high school.”

“But what if you meet them here?” meekly asked Beizu.

“Doubt, but all I can say is that I hope they’re direct” I start walking back to the building “I’m not down for that tsundere shit.”

“True that” Beizu chuckled, following after me.

When I had my hero courses, I saw that I was number 15 in the ranking....ouchies. Guess I have a hell of a lot of training to do if I’m going to be above average. Who knew that I can’t rely on my family history?

“Yo! Iida-kun!” shouted Gon, chasing me after school “I have to ask you something!”

“Okay sure?” I was confused on why it was so pressing to where he had to chase me.

“Lets train together! This weekend?” Gon practically begged “I know it’s Wednesday and we see each other everyday BUT I wanted to ask so you wouldn’t make weekend plans.”

“Oh geez...I guess!” I threw my hands up, giving up the protest before I could start “I know if I said no, you’d just pester me until I said yes. And to be quite honest, I need the extra training” I sighed “I wanna move up to the top 10 in the ranking.”

Gon’s face lit up “Oh my gosh you said yes?! I’D BE HONORED TO HELP YOU MOVE UP IN THE RANKS!” he exclaimed as he held my hands “I won’t disappoint Iida-kun!”

Now mind you, there’s people watching as they pass. And a group of girls from general ed fawned over the display.

“It- its NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!” I panicked “N-no need for this whole display! Gon-kun, please...you’re embarrassing me!”

“Oh right! Sorry” he let go of my hands “it’s just that, nobody has said yes to training with me. I’m kind of a spaz and I don’t have friends here. Everyone in my circle in middle school didn’t want to go to hero school” he said sadly “But you and that pink haired dude look like close friends, it makes me a little jealous that you have a friend in the same program as you.”

My big brother senses kicked in...damn it! I feel bad for him and I GUESS it won’t kill me to have him as my friend in this class.

“Oh me and Beizu? We go way back!” I confirmed his theory “Our mom’s are friends too! I see him as my brother and he’d think you’re a cool dude.”

“Really?!” his face looking like he was about to cry “I’d love to meet him sometime...OH and tell me tomorrow what day and time you wanna train on the weekend!” He turned the opposite way “See you tomorrow!”

I waved him off and went to the intel wing to meet with Beizu. Man did not expect hero school to be like some shit out of a manga.

-The next day, Homeroom-

“...everyone’s here, time to announce the next assignment!” Hansai sensei announced “We’re going to do incognito training!”

To spare you of the fuckery Hansei sensei just explained to us...we doin’ drag for TWO WEEKS starting Monday, just so we get the feel of going undercover out in the field. Beizu and I aren’t as excited, it’s bad enough we get confused for our moms, now we have to look MORE like our moms?! Wonder what my mom is gonna do when I tell her?

“I LOVED THAT TRAINING!” squealed my mom when I told her at home “I had a blast being a dude and I kept my male persona after graduation because it was THAT good.”

“I don’t remember you doing that” my dad spoke up “did you do it when you were at the other school?”

The face my mom made went from confusion to big confusion, to ‘are you serious?’ to stifling a laugh.

“Tenya? Are you for real?!” uttered mom “You didn’t catch on to what was going on that week?”

“No...was I supposed to?” dad asked, completely oblivious to what my mom was saying.

“Oh my- well I’m not surprised, seeing how you straight up showed up at my place and begged me to come back” Mom smirked, with a twinkle in her eye “maybe this will trigger your memory” she slid her finger over her molar implants to switch on her voice changer. She cleared her throat before speaking “YO! It’s ya boi, Takeshi T’boone, American bastard! Come here and gimme some sugar!”

I was trying not to laugh at her impersonation but then I looked at dad’s face and he looked like he shit his pants.

“YOU WERE T’BOONE?!” He hollered as he did his fast chops “Why didn’t you reveal yourself to me?! I literally talked poorly about you when we went to the cafe!”

“I thought it was obvious” she responded with the T’boone voice “did you not get it the moment you saw the other two?”

“That one girl and that scary looking male?” asked dad, things still not clicking.

“Yea...that was Jin and Mimi”

“But, the quirk-”

“Copied somebody else’s quirk before going to our class” mom giggled, still in the male voice “Guess I was just that good! You have a lot to work to put in Iwata!”

“Hehehe, it’s like having two dads” I giggled “Okay then, I think I got my story straight! Thanks...Mr T’boone.”

“That’s Mr American Bastard to you!” joked mom before watching me run off to my room “As for you! Do you feel tricked?”

“It’s like you’ve lied to me! Your best friend and love interest!”

She playfully pushed him “Oh shut up! I thought you were annoying.”

“I know, I guess it was obvious when you mentioned the other two” dad chuckled, then turned red “umm, you don’t so happen to remember-”

“The texts? The arcade? Oh hell yea” she finished his sentence “I was touched, kinda made me wanna kiss you.”

Dad turned even deeper red “I had a chance?”

“You’ve had a chance since I told you the secret” she hopped a bit to kiss him “is it not enough we’re married with children? Or that I love you so much?”

“It’s more than I could ever imagine” he kissed her more passionately “...can you change back to your normal voice now?”

“No, you married me, Takeshi T’boone! American bastard and Husband!” she flexed her arms “We’re just two dudes, in a domestic partnership! GAY RIGHTS! I love my power bottom husband!”

“Can y’all not be discostang!” yelled Hanaka “I’m right here!”

I got to work on my story and my name, trying not to be too on the nose. New name is Tati Masarati and my daddy owns Masarati Luxury Vehicles, making me an heiress! I’m at UA to scope out a husband/next up and coming hero to promote the next line of vehicles. My quirk is something to do with my voice...yea, I haven’t figured that one out but heres to winging it! My mom allowed me JUST THIS ONCE to use her luxury and designer clothes. I was so obsessed with my mom’s Gucci collection as a child that I’d throw a fit over not getting a Gucci item in my closet. So the only things Gucci I have are the iconic slides and frosted frame glasses. I got all of the pretty dresses that fit my engine arms and two other outfits. Uncle Jin let me borrow his auburn hair wigs...which at first surprised me to see so many wigs in his walk in closet BUT then I remembered that he’s also an agent. Of course he has a bunch of wigs and women’s clothing. I did some shopping with Beizu after school on Friday to find other things like make up, color contacts and (believable) boobs. I could hardly contain myself to show myself at school, got Uncle Jin to drive me in his luxury car at a certain time on Monday.

“Wow who did your make up?” asked Beizu.

“I did” I flipped my hair “Took a while to nail the eyeliner BUT check out the nails~”

“Sparkly!” fawned Beizu “Oh! Can you check if I put my wig on right, and my lashes...and my boobs.”

“I got you homie!” I started to fix his boobs and wig.

The whole class got their voice changers and the level one earpieces, which mom warned that my ears will get blackheads with them no matter what I do. It was so hard to find a voice to stick with! But I settled for that husky, dangerous woman voice...because why not? Mr Hansai notified Mr Mineta ahead of time of my drag and they confirmed that they won’t give away that it’s me. I’m literally itching to test out my persona! At around lunch, Beizu and I were just minding our business when we got the attention of a few boys. Not gonna lie chief...that felt kinda good to get their attention, rather than a bunch of girls at us.

“Class, meet your temporary classmate” sensei introduced me “She’s just going to observe for the next 2 weeks.”

“Ciao everyone, don’t mind me” I gave my best Jessica Rabbit impersonation “I don’t do all that training stuff, I’m just scoping out for the next up and coming hero.” I turn to sensei “Do I sit there?”

“Yes, go on ahead and take a seat.”

“But that’s Iida-kun’s seat?” protested Kage-san.

“Iida won’t be here for two weeks” sensei fixed his papers “He’s at off-campus intelligence training. He’ll be back, don’t worry.”

“I got some dirt on him” I said as I sat down “heard he’s a rich boy too! In line for the family assets and he’s got two quirks! If only I could see that in action.”

Everything went well...until the end of the day.

“Excuse me! Miss!” called out Gon, chasing me down the hall.

“Yes?” I turned around, hiding my panic because I didn’t think he’d approach me.

“Umm, oh this is embarrassing, I forgot what I was going to say” he said nervously “I didn’t get your name!”

“Tati Masarati, heiress of the Masarati company” I held my hand out “and you are?”

“I’m Ryuusuke Gon!” he bowed fast “I’ve never met an heiress before, must be interesting.”

“Yup- I MEAN” I caught myself slipping character “It’s a drag, I can’t go anywhere without a chaperone! You’re so lucky to be strong enough to just go off on your own like that.” I had to quickly pull something out of my ass because I was not breaking character NOT OVER THIS!

“Then, may I escort you to the front gates?” he said extending his arm “Can’t have you going by yourself! I’ll protect you until you get picked up!”

“Thank you doll” I cooed and internally cringed.

Before turning into the main hall, Gon said “You smell pretty.”

“Oh thank you! It’s Gucci” it’s not but he won’t tell the difference. I spot Beizu and I call out to them “Babylonia! Yoohoo!”

Beizu turned around and tried not to laugh “Oh hey Tati! Who’s your slam piece there?”

“Oh him? He’s my classmate” I said with so much restraint “Isn’t he just a doll? He’s walking me to my chauffeur” my eyes were screaming at Beizu to help me “How was your day girl!”

“GIRL! My BAMBINA! It’s boring” Beizu played along “I just want to leave and go get my nails done.”

“Hi, I’m Ryuusuke Gon” nervously uttered “Ummm are you friends with her?”

“I just met her but we’re both heiresses” he for sure pulled this out of his ass because that’s not part of his story “charmed to meet you! And may I say what a specimen!” he reached out to touch his bicep “Manners AND strength?! You struck gold Tati.”

“BACK OFF HE’S MINE!” I jerked Gon away “I mean- he’s not something to oogle at!” I watched our ride drive into the pick up area from the corner of my eye “Oh look! Our ride Babylonia!” turn to Gon “Thanks for the company doll” I caressed his chin with my hand “see you tomorrow~”

He didn’t say anything as we fast walked to the car.

“What happened to you two?” asked my mom with concern.

“I HATE being a girl!” I huffed as I struggled to take off my bra “It’s a little fun tricking the boys but why do guys just do shit for the pretty ones?!”

“Welcome to my world” laughed my mom “it’s only day one, hope you last.”

“We started drama” chirped Beizu.

“Oooh spill the tea Babylonia!”

Kinda wish it stayed as a one time slip up BUT then came the next day...

“Ooh, look at you Tati!” teased one of my intel classmates “a boy with black hair and gray eyes asked me to give you this.” they hand me a note with my fake name misspelled on it “He asked if I was in your homeroom and got all flustered when I said yeah. Wish I was as passing as you!”

I get the note and start to nervous sweat “Oof this is bad Beizu” I groaned “like what am I supposed to do?!”

“Maybe read the note?” he said before reapplying his lip gloss.

I open it and read:

Mazeratea-sama,

Meet me in the old garden, near the hero wing. At lunch. I want to spend more time with you and be friends.

-Gon

“Bei I think he fell in love with me”

“GOOD! It’ll look like you have a seduction quirk” he said as he checked his face in a pocket mirror “Isn’t that the one thing you don’t have figured out?”

“You know what, you right” I gasped “You can have the brain cell today.”

“I’ll even feed you lines through the earpiece” he added “just because I know you’ll croak under the pressure.”

“You’re my savior Bei!”

I think of ways to steer the conversation as I walk to the old garden. It looks very lush and lively nowadays than it did when my parents came here. Heard it was leftover of the high school that was here before they turned it into UA.

“Over here!” called Gon, waving me down.

I walked over to him “I got your note~ did you miss me doll?”

“I wanted to spend time with you” he gestured to the stone slab bench “allow me to make you a clean seat” I watch him put a handkerchief on the bench “there, so your skirt won’t get dirty!”

I sat down and set my bag next to me “Thank you doll~ why are you being so good to me?”

“Well, I don’t know why but I’m drawn to you” he admitted “I’ve never felt like this before, almost like it’s your quirk.”

Beizu speaks into the earpiece “Say the line bitch!”

I clear my throat “Well that’s because it is!” I give him my best innocent face “my quirk is Seduction, I can make anyone do my bidding or convince them into anything with my voice. Upside, I don’t have to ever lift a finger to do anything! Downside, I don’t know my limits and many accidentally fall in love with me.”

“Oh...” he blushed hard and looked away “does that me I’m-”

“Sorry, I really am” I cringed “I didn’t mean for you to get sucked in and you fell in love with me. I just didn’t expect you to chase me after school yesterday.”

“...What’s going to happen now?” Gon asked me after a long silence.

Beizu whispered “Tell him it’ll take 4 days to wear off completely.”

“Give it four days and those feelings will fade away” I smiled when he looked at me again.

He perked up “And if they don’t?”

“Then those were your own feelings all along” I took out my food “But enough about all that mess, lets eat!”

“I brought you something” he took out a small Tupperware from his bag “I didn’t know what you liked but I figured maybe you’d like some fruit.”

He set it on my lap “Oh? You didn’t have too-”

“I wanted to, because I have feelings for you” he choked on that last part of his sentence, like he didn’t want me to hear them “but I guess if it’s an after-affect of your quirk then I guess it’s not as meaningful.”

Beizu snickered in the earpiece “Oops you made him fall in love, F in the chat! But open the thing, I wanna see!”

I carefully open the lid and it was lined neatly with chocolate dipped strawberries “Oh wow! These look professionally made!”

“My parents have a small sweets shop in Taito and I got the nicest looking berries from this morning just for you” he smiled but then looked down at the ground “You don’t have to accept it or eat them if you-”

“They’re so good!” I exclaimed out of character “erm, I MEAN- ummm” I got red “please don’t tell anyone but I really try to put up the rich girl front to match my status, I’m just a spaz. And I love dark chocolate, thank you doll~”

Beizu cut in again “Save me one! I wanna taste of this drama!”

Gon just turned red like a strawberry “You like it?! I’ll bring you more!”

“No please! I’ll pay for them from now on!”

“This is getting out of hand!” cried out Beizu in my ear.

What in the actual fuck did I get myself into? So much for getting by and being chill. Everyday is some new fuckery that I didn’t ask for.

-Chapter 4, End-

#bnha #mha #self insert au #book 3 chapter 4 #not canon #will update regularly #ask me anything #//Palma-sama Speaks #Yes...Iwata is a break the fourth wall type character and I love him!#Here he starts to peel back to reveal the past in a few important glimpses #and you know I had to bring back the incognito training back! It's important to character development on both Iwata and Beizu #So many callbacks! Basically Book 1 chapters 1-5.#Wheres the fun if I don't add the 'accidentally falls in love with your genderbent self' trope?!#The amount of bad bitch vibes they give in this drag personal is *chefs kiss* like it should be #More to come! Stay tuned to find out about Gon and Iwa!

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malewifeharrystyles · 7 years

Text

I Was Tagged In A Long Ass Thing

I was tagged by @saysweartogod and @ihaveabadreputation and idk how many people I have to tag? 20? But I think everyone I'd tag has already been tagged so I'm tagging anyone who wants to do this!! the last 1. drink: mmmm apple juice. I drink that shit a ridiculous amount.  2. phone call: my friend Catherine  3. text message: "friendship cancelled" to the groupchat with my friend group lmao  4. song you listened to: Guinesses by MF Doom ft. 4lze & Angelika (V GOOD SONG) 5. time you cried: uhhh not yesterday but the day before! Yeet 6. dated someone twice: what does this mean dated someone twice? Wording is weird but I'm currently dating someone so like  7. kissed someone and regretted it: mm not really ever? My first kiss was with a total douche but it was drunk at a party and I wanted my first kiss over with so it's fine  8. been cheated on: never god bless 9. lost someone special: I lost my grandpa (step grandpa technically I guess) just over a year ago and he was really special and kind and treated my Oma (who has dementia and Alzheimer's) really well and he was v special 10. been depressed: hey right now!!! Yeet!! 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: I've never actually thrown up from being drunk!! Surprisingly!! 3 favourite colours 12. Forest green 13. Pale blue 14. Lavender in the last year have you 15. made new friends: Yep!! 16. fallen out of love: never been in love in the first place!! 17. laughed until you cried: literally so many times and it's my favourite thing in the universe 18. found out someone was talking about you: LMAO yep 19. met someone who changed you: mmm yeah  20. found out who your friends are: I already knew :') 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: like Facebook friends list????? I haven't been on Facebook in like a year idk who I have on there anymore but considering I've only kissed two different people I don't think so general 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: uhhh idk majority of them?? 23. do you have any pets: a dog named Winnie :') 24. do you want to change your name: no I like my name!!  25. what did you do for your last birthday: lol I was on a plane home from Alberta woohoo 26. what time did you wake up: like... never. Around noon but I always end up back in bed.  27. what were you doing at midnight last night: I think I was just in bed lol 28. name something you can’t wait for: hmmm GoT tomorrow night? I think my GoT buddies and I are gonna get drunk on rum while watching it lol also I'm going to a cabin with my family Wednesday and Thursday ALSO my friend might visit over winter break. Omg also all the grade 12 graduating stuff I get to do this year yeet 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: uhhh I just took a v solid nap but about 5 hours ago before said nap 31. what are you listening to right now: nothing right this instant but in general MF Doom a lot 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah I know a Tom he was in a few of my classes he's cute and German and doesn't know certain words like "bean" which is weird because he's lived here since he was like 7 lmao 33. something that is getting on your nerves: hmm nothing really #blessed 34. most visited website: unfortunately Tumblr smh  35. hair colour: brown 36. long or short hair: long 37. do you have a crush on someone: lol yeah and I'm dating him yeet  38. what do you like about yourself: hmm I'm creative and very accepting and #woke and I try my best to advocate for the things I believe in 39. piercings: two on each ear but I want more on the cartilage  40. blood type: I have no fucking idea 41. nickname: Lulu, Lu, Loops, a million others 42. relationship status: unofficially dating someone?? Idk how to answer this 43. zodiac: the least Capricorn Capricorn you'll ever meet! 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: game of thrones, breaking bad, broad city, Atlanta, mad men, the get down, a million others?? 46. tattoos: none yet, but i really want to get some  47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: I had jaw surgery like 3 years ago 50. sport: I hate sports tbh but watching the Olympics is fun and basketball is fun to watch and I used to play club volleyball and was really good at it lol 51. vacation: I really want to go to Japan and Holland and I'm going to Holland in march!!!! 52. pair of trainers: idfk I wear the exact same shoes everyday of my life MORE GENERAL 53. eating: motherfucking gnocchi  54. drinking: apple juice or milkshakes lol 55. I’m about to: get off the toilet :) 56. waiting for: tomorrow cause I wanna get drunk and watch game of thrones with my friends and boy 57. I want: mmmm some gnocchi  58. get married: yeah 59. career: film director or author or something in either of those fields  WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: mmm I enjoy kisses  61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: taller 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: mmm arms but not too much  65. hookup or relationship: relationship  66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant tbh  HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: nope 68. drank hard liquor: ya boi 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: no! 70. turned someone down: kind of? Not directly but he was looking for something other than friendship and I was like mmmmm no thanks  71. sex on the first date: nope 73. had your heart broken: not yet but I'm omw woohoo  74. been arrested: nope 75. cried when someone died: yeah 76. fallen for a friend: I mean I guess we started out as friends but it was always on it's way to dating so idk if that counts  DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: eh 78. miracles: nah 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: lmao 81. kiss on the first date: depends!! 82. angels: nope  OTHER: 84. eye colour: bluish green with hazel around the pupil 85. favourite movie: SO MANY uhhhh moonlight by Barry Jenkins, in the mood for love by Wong Kar-Wai, Mommy by Xavier Dolan are probably my top 3

#this was a lot of work #but there ya go folks #this is me

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