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reidsqlick · 2 months

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You’ll be back, right? || (S.R)

pairing(s): Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

summary: Spencer and you had been close friends, but due to an unexpected, sudden reason that friendship had fallen through, and led to what seems to be a rivalry.. what happens when you confront him of this?

warning(s): (MDNI 18+), softdom!spencer, unprotected sex, p in v, swearing, I don’t believe there’s any more but if there is please enlighten me 💔💔.

word count: 3,7k

Working for the FBI was a challenge, everyone who looked into the FBI, or had been an agent would tell you the same. As an agent, you’ve definitely come close to death many times throughout your career, you had known that’s what came with the job, and you more than ready for that. You were quite honestly ready for whatever this job could bring your way. Ready to tackle each obstacle with such ease, so much to the point you didn’t even care what could be thrown your way.

That’s what you thought until you had met Dr. Spencer Reid. Being transferred to this unit of yours was something you had no issue doing. Ready for whatever it brought you, whatever new challenges this career brought you. Nothing, and I mean nothing was going to get in the way of that mindset of yours you were so, ultimately set on.

Unfortunately, that mindset hadn’t met Spencer Walter Reid. The genius of the BAU. Mr. “187 IQ”. Once a twenty-four year old kid prodigy who knew more than most at that age. Now, obviously not twenty-four, and not quite a ‘kid prodigy’ anymore.

The man had gotten on your nerves since the day he chose his ego over you. Not cause he was necessarily a bad guy, he was actually friends with you. However, the shit that got on your nerves was the fact he was open about disliking you, his ego slowly becoming more important than your friendship sometime during your duration of working there.

Forever you thought about what you had done. At first, you two were oh so close, as close as one can get with Reid, at the time he at least could have tolerate saying more than at minimum, five word sentences to you in passing, or because Hotch had asked you two to pair up to go check things out.

He always teased you at work. Either making some snide comment about your intelligence, or critiquing the way you had gotten your part of the job done. God, it was aggravating to say the least. With each snide comment that was said in passing, the more he pissed you off.

You really hadn’t hated him. You had hated the way he was so rude towards you. You truly never got it, never understood how he could be so nice to you when you had joined, talking to you more than a friend should, but, hey.. he probably talked to everyone like that, right?

One day it snapped. He just… started being an absolute piss poor son of a bitch who couldn’t get enough of himself. Wafting in every comment of some girl on a case in passing, it stroking his ego. God, the man was so aggravating in every way possible. You just couldn’t understand what changed with him.

Yeah, okay. If we’re being honest with one another, I liked him, okay? I more than liked him. I kind of slightly loved him. When I first joined the unit, I had clicked with him the most. It was almost instant. Your shared love for ‘Doctor who’, and books. Most of all, you listened to him ramble. Not many do that, and when they do they always tease him for it.

Now he’s teasing you? Jesus, you couldn’t get over it. The man you once let into your heart, expressed your interests to him, let you be yourself around him, becoming such an asshat. That was beyond what you could’ve expected. Especially since it was so out of the blue.

Life is very against you as of late. You and the team are out on a case in Boston, where you’ll have to be staying in one of the “lovely” hotels there. The issue is that the team actually had gotten done with the case early. The hotel had been booked for a whole extra day.

So, due to Penelope Nagging Hotch so much to the point he actually gave in, you’re all going drinking. The hotel bar, obviously. Can’t stray too far from one another, yes we’re all FBI agents, but… safety first, always.

You weren’t one for drinking if you were honest, but it was a team thing, so you’d go. This case had ended up being much more stressful than it let off, and you kind of needed to cool off, and with the people you considered family.

You hadn’t dressed up, Jesus, no. Never. You aren’t one for dressing up. Yeah, you’re feminine.. just, sometimes dresses aren’t the comfiest, that’s one. Two, for fucks sake.. this is a hotel bar. It’s truly not serious enough to dress up for.

Just your leisure wear you brought, jeans, and a t-shirt. Don’t even get me started on the “Pick me” or “You’re so basic” shit, it’s just leisure wear, at a hotel bar. Fuck if I care, I’ll dress how I please.

Leaving your hotel room, you walk up to the elevator, pressing the ‘down’ arrow. Awaiting the elevator, to your surprise the one and only Spencer Walter Reid decided to waltz to catch it as well. Jesus Christ. He’s really not one for drinking. I know I’m not one for drinking, but he isn’t last time I checked.

The elevator dung open, and you stepped in, Spencer walking in behind you. You click the ‘one’, and wait for this ride to be over. You look around, trying to ignore the fact he was here. You look over at him for, what? A split second, and he catches your eyes.

Fuck. That was accidental… oh, what? He’s still wearing his suit. Jesus, you’d think the man would get into something more comfortable, yet… he’s Spencer Reid. He’s not getting more comfy than this.

Shit, this elevator ride is longer than you remembered it being. Yeah, you were on the twelveth floor, but why is it taking so long. You speak up, hating the silence. Might as well embarrass yourself more than you already had, mhm. Great fucking idea!

“Didn’t take you as much of a drinker, Boygenius.” You said, loud enough for him to hear you, but not quite loud at all. “You don’t know me, (Y/LN). You can’t ‘take’ me as much of anything.” He said, obviously annoyed. Shit.. why’d he have to be such an asswipe about everything he did. Jesus Christ you can’t say anything anymore, can you?

“Actually I do-“ he cut you off, “You do not know me. You think you know me, and I hate to break it to you, but you don’t know me. Don’t know why you somehow think cause we were close years ago when you first started working here, that you know anything. You don’t know me enough to classify me as a drinker, that’s one. Even if I wasn’t before, people change (Y/LN).”

Before you could even add, you were disrupted by the ding of the elevator. Thank god. But, seriously? Where does he think he gets off? You both leave the elevator, him in-front of you now. Walking to the bar, you were greeted by the rest of your team. Penelope enveloping you in one of her hugs.

Chatter between the team had went on for an hour or two, you hadn’t gotten drunk, but you were… tipsy to say the least. You really, seriously weren’t one for drinking, but Spencer being there, and his snarky ass comments from earlier truly set you off. You decide it’s better to go to your room before you get shit-faced drunk, so you say your ‘goodbyes’ to the rest of the team.

Pen pulled you aside, “Hun.. what’s up? You’ve barely spoken a word tonight. You’re just away from us, the group. Did we.. do something on the case that we missed? I can make someone apologize, cause (Y/LN)… I’m not gonna let stuff like that slide-“ you just sit silent. Giving her that look.

She looked confused. “(Y/N).. who,” you cut her off “Spencer. It’s nothing. Just.. we got on the elevator together and it got awkward again. Pen, you’re so lucky I love the rest of you cause I’d have already left cause of Spencer ‘I’ve got a stick in my ass’ Reid.” She and I chuckled.

She nodded, waving you goodbye. Telling the rest of the team about your departure for the night. You left the bar, walking towards the elevator, and clicking the ‘up’ arrow. It dinged not too long after, you entered, and clicked number twelve. As the doors were close to shutting, a hand came between them, forcing them to open back up.

Cause life hates me, who else could it possibly be except Spencer goddamn Reid? Jesus. Why’d we have to leave at the same time, why’d we have to get stuck in the same elevator again!? The ride was silent, well… for a while it was, until he decided it was just lovely to open his mouth, yeah this is just what you needed right now after your previous six drinks.

“Didn’t take you for much of a drinker, either (Y/L/N).” He chuckled, opening up the topic of conversation started just hours ago. “Hah, very funny Reid, I’m really not one.” He shrugged. “No? You didn’t sit at the bar and consume six too many drinks? That wasn’t you? Guess I’m imagining someone else as you.”

You sighed, staying silent. Not wanting to speak to him anymore than you already have tonight. You’re intoxicated, scratch that, you were more than intoxicated, and this really is NOT the proper setting for this. “Don’t wanna talk? Oh, wait.. you don’t want to speak to my face? That’s right. Okay, (Y/LN). I see, you can easily just tell people I have a “stick in my ass” and yet, won’t respond to me? That’s fine with me..”

Those words lingered.. oh they’re pissing you off. You looked at him, he was already looking down at you with the most aggravating smirk on his face. “You do have a stick up your ass. There? What do you want me to tell you!? What can I tell you? Last I remember I ‘don’t know you’ so how will I speak to you if I don’t even know you. Oh, and what can I say? Hmmm? Enlighten me, Spencer. Every time I do something you don’t like, you start running your mouth. Last time I checked, that’s the only time I’ve spoken about you behind your back, so you obviously need to get a grip, Reid.”

“You need me to enlighten you, do you?” He began, “Let me enlighten you, (Y/LN). You can say whatever you want, that’s fine with me, you simply just don’t bring me into it. We got that clear? I don’t need my coworkers thinking im some sort of dick cause you’re butthurt,” he looked at your eyes carefully “and intoxicated.”

“Why don’t you like me anymore,” I let out quietly. “Hm?” He said, clearing his throat. “Why. Don’t. You. Like. Me. Anymore!?” I said, louder. Tears violently threatening to spill. “What’re you talking about?” A tear rolled down your face “What am I talking about!? Jesus, how many times do I have to say it. We were friends, Reid. I liked you,” he was taken aback “I loved you. Jesus, did you forget about our friendship? I know it’s been a while.. but how many girls have to flirt with you to forget your friend? God, Spencer.”

He didn’t even say anything. You stood there, unaware of what was happening, obviously intoxicated. Tears spilling out of your eyes slowly. He looked over at you, looking at you, reading your expressions. He took two steps, making you two mere inches apart. He then leaned down, putting his forehead on yours.

You sniffled, “Reid, what’re you doing-“ “Can I kiss you, (Y/N)? Please say yes..” you nodded. “I need you to tell me I can kiss you, need you to tell me you want me to kiss you.” “Yes, Reid,” before you could even finish he grabbed the sides of your face, pushing his lips onto yours.

You kissed him back, with just as much eagerness as confusion. Don’t you hate him? What’s happening? Before you could even think properly the elevator dinged, you’ve made it to your floor.

He then moved his hands to your waist, leading you out of the elevator, lips still on yours, you pulled away. “Reid. What’re you doing?” Then, it came out. The years you wanted to know what happened, and he’s about to tell you. “I love you, too.” Your response? You pulled his lips back onto yours, walking backwards, finding your room.

You broke the kiss for a second, turning around to unlock the door, reaching for the keycard in your pocket, as Spencer wrapped his hands around your waist. When the door unlocked you basically ran into the room, closing the door behind you two. Once you turned around, your lips were already back on his.

You might be asking, why aren’t you talking this out? Why aren’t you asking what this is? His lips are telling you all you need to know, and you weren’t mad at all. Stumbling around the room, you made it to the bedroom and closed that door, as well. His hands still firm on your waist, he then pushed you against the bedroom door.

His mouth moved from your lips to peppering kisses on your jaw, to then sucking down onto your neck. You were letting out small whimpers, nothing too loud, but it was making him absolutely crazy. As he was marking your neck with visible bruises that weren’t going to be gone anytime soon, he moved his knee between your legs.

You began to grind down on this knee to create some form of friction. Fuck, you were getting louder. Seriously, (Y/N). I mean… seriously? You hate him. You hate how snarky he gets, hate how he makes snide comments, hate how good his lips feel traveling down your neck, hate how good his knee feels against your already aching cunt.

He then started to move his leg with the movements of your hips against him. Jesus. You’re putty in his hands, aren’t you? You’re done for. He then moved his hands under your shirt, starting to ride it up, asking you a question “Can I take it off,” he asked, all you could do was let out sorry whimpers as you were essentially getting yourself off on him, he stopped the movements of his leg, his grip on your hips tightening again “Hm?” All you did was nod, giving him your approval.

Once that was gone, he went back to working on your neck, sucking small bruises, moving down to your collarbone, receiving whimpers and low moans from you. He then moved his hands to the buttons of your jeans. “Can I?” He asked, you nodded again. “Can I?” He repeated. You speak up, “Mhm-“ he nodded, beginning to unbutton your jeans, and then unzipping the zip on them, causing them to fall to the floor.

There wasn’t much light in the room, only a lamp in the corner illuminating the dark room. Enough light for him to be able to see the wet spot in your underwear. He smiled, “You’re already so wet.” He said, circling small circles on your clothed clit, making whimpers fall from your mouth so desperately.

“You know,” he said, pushing your panties to the side, gathering up your arousal on two of his fingers “I love you. It’s why I ignored you so much,” he said, bringing his fingers up and down your slit, “too distracted to do my job sometimes, you know.” He said, inserting one finger into you, causing a breathily gasp leaving your mouth with such ease.

“Just thought if I ignored you, it’d help me from getting distracted with my job.” He said, moving his finger at a slower pace, curling it so every so often to get a reaction out of you. “It didn’t help much, though-“ he said, “I was still getting distracted, all the time. Couldn’t even focus on work, princess.” He added another finger, stretching you out even more. “You know what happens when I can’t focus on work? I get upset, love. Wasn’t even you I was mad at, I was mad at myself, for getting so fucking pent up over you.” He said as he continued his pace, curling his fingers every so often.

He then pulled them out, a soft, disappointing whimper leaving your lips. “Shh, I know. Let’s get you comfy, yeah?” He said, moving you onto the bed, beginning to fully undress you, leaving you exposed. “What about you…” you chimed in nervously. He chuckled. “Oh, right. Sorry, princess. Let me just,” he said as he begun to rid himself of his own garments.

When he rid himself of his prior clothing, all but his boxers, he then hovered over top of you, beginning to gather up more of your slick, rubbing your clit in small, tight circles leaving you an absolute mess. You then began to grip the hand he was using to prop himself up with, needy with greed, your eyes practically begging.

“You close already, princess?” He asked in that cocky tone of his, smirking. If he hadn’t been making you feel this good, bringing you this close to release, making you feel better than you could ever do yourself, you would’ve already hit him upside the head. You then nodded, moans leaving your mouth the easiest they ever had. He had then removed himself of his boxers, his cock springing up and hitting his chest, glistening with all his pre-cum.

Your mouth all but fell to the ground in shock, it was so pretty, he was so pretty. Looking down at you, he had begun alligning himself with your glistening cunt, gathering your slick, finally positioning himself at your entrance, “You ready for me, princess?” You bucked your hips, nodding quickly, “Are you ready?” He asked again, the need to be in you was strong, but the need for your consent was stronger. “Yes, please Spencer—“ He smiled, “Good,” he said, slowly sinking into you, disappearing into you inch, by inch.

He fully sunk into you with a low groan, and slowly begun thrusting into you, warming you up for him, he had then moved his hand between your bodies, and began rubbing your clit in painfully slow circles, watching your face contort with a dumbfound smile on his face. He had then began to move faster, causing you to get even louder than before, and then he finally found his pace, the perfect pace, the pace that hit that spot of yours so well, the spot you were sure never existed, as the men before him were never able to find it, let alone you.

But, fuck. You had to admit, it felt so good. “Spencer— fuck… keep, keep going,” you were putty in his hands, you were his to mold, “yes— like that! Fuck…” he couldn’t help but let out small grunts, and groans. He never knew he could have such an effect on you, he had played this moment so many times in his head, but he’s so, so thankful for his eidetic memory so he can actually remember this moment exactly.

“Feel good doesn’t it, Angel?” He groaned, “Hits where it’s supposed to,” your whimpers got needier, his thrusts got sloppier, “ts’ like this cock was made just for you.” that was it, that was truly it, drunk off his words, his every moment, “Spencer, I’m—“ he got even sloppier, faster, rubbing your clit with such speed you could explode right then and there, your legs began to shake around him.

“Let go, princess. I know you can, ‘know you want to, let it all out for me,” he said, groans getting louder, getting close to his own release himself, two more strokes and you were a dead woman, your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave, head thrown back, moans louder than ever.

“Fuck, Angel..” he said, pulling out, stroking himself fast, needing his own release, and seeing you like this, cum dripping out of you, it’s just what he needed, it’s the prettiest thing he had ever seen, and now it was ingrained in his mind forever. “Where do you want me, I—“ you whimpered, he was so pretty like this, fucking his hand, head cocked back, groans leaving him.. “T-tummy’s fine—“ and there it was, leaving his cock just seconds later.

His body plopped next to you, hand finding your cheek, caressing it softly. “You did so good for me, Angel..” he smiled softly, you giggled at his compliment, words more innocent than the action you had shared just moments earlier. “Hey, hey let’s get you cleaned up, don’t need you a mess, now do we?” He chucked, leaving the room to grab a washcloth, and coming back with it, wiping his cum off your stomach.

Once you were cleaned up, he had grabbed clothes from your go bag, dressing you slowly, not wanting to overworked your already tired self, “Thank you, Spencer—“ you said softly, almost a whisper, he smiled with pride, “No need to thank me, princess. It wasn’t a favor.” You couldn’t help but giggle, “Mhm, I know— just thought I should thank you, mm never felt that good before, thought that was worth a thanks.”

Once you were in comfy clothes, he had lied next to you, caressing your face, “Angel..” he started, “I’ve gotta go back to my room..” he trailed off, not wanting to leave you like this, sleepy, and alone..

Before he could even finish what he wanted to say, you interrupted him “Don’t—!” He chuckled softly, “I don’t want to, I promise you.. I just need to grab something, okay?” You nodded, but a low groan left your tired lips.

He had gotten up from the mattress, it springing up due to the loss of his weight. Once he reached the handle of the door you yelled out to him, “You’ll be back, right?” your voice drowsy, dripping with tiredness.

He looked back for a moment, smiling softly, “Right.”

A/N: oh my god this is my first published smut my teeth are jittering, hands shaking… please please PLEASE tell me how I did if you could cause I actually can’t tell how bad or good this is. but yeah, I tried. P.S: this smut has been sitting in my drafts for over a MONTH.

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lillysilvermoon · 1 year

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What your Future Spouse will admire about you?

Pile 1

Your reading is SO BEAUTIFUL Pile 1, really😭😭

First of all: you have a very feminine energy (high priestess) which is like kryptonite for man🤣😁. You see, the hight priestess have a profound connection with God/Goddess. She believes everyone has their own inner guidance to lead them to their true potential. And you do this! You trust your intuition, follow your heart and your instincts and this makes your s.p just go crazy, I feel like he is very logical and he admires your away of leadership, in your own away (doesn't matter if you realize this or not) you are a leader, you inspire people without even realizing it. With you, he feels healed, you just bring so much peace, calmness and joy to him. And talking about joy: you have a childlike personality, you inner child is very happy and free, you know when it's time to be silly (happy dance) and he admires this in you, you bring his child side and makes he feels comfortable to play and just be silly with you. I feel like my heart will explode of joy right now so I think that's how he feels with you, and this makes he admire you a lot because at the same time you are a very elegant, femine and wise, very responsible you ALSO are fun to be with, you know how to play and you have this magic to him. (He loves you so very much I just can't 😭💗).

And you are confident, I feel you have the mindset of "what is mine will find me" so if something goes wrong you just drive to overcome the obstacle in a positive way. When you have a goals, you work with very fierce energy to bring them to fruition (but the thing is: you do all fo this in a very feminine, gentle and fun way, and he just admires you incredible for this).

Signs: jupiters placements, Gemini, cancer and aries and number's 6,9,5 and 8 (I think cancer's placements are important because cancer's symbol looks like a 69 and you had this two numbers. Cam also be dates or months), books, library, education, parks, lakes and flowers. (And music!!!!!! Omg I think it's important to youu or them, maybe he'll communicate his feelings by songs)

P.S: I was going to pile two but I just heard this: you help them to heal his inner child in some way, and this is something very very important to them and by extension to y'all relationship.

P.S²: I was again going to Pile two- but here it is: he admires you for that because, I feel like this problem with his inner child maybe has affected in a negative way his others relationships and you, somehow, handle this really easy, you don't even realize actually (and I just saw he looking to any place in particular think about this and feeling genuinely happy)

Blonde and redhead for some feel here.

Pile 2

Finally I'm here, hello pile 2♡ let's get into your reading shall we?

Calmness. You are so calm, even in the worst situations, you maintain a sense of peace (or try your best to!). I see here that you have multiple interests and you try to balance all of them and other areas of your life, but you don't stress yourself with this. It's like, if doesn't work it's fine, cause you are adaptable and flexible (and he REALLY admires this because I feel like your future Spouse has a tiny-bit-tittie problem with control (wink nod) and you are kind of the opposite lmao, he see you having all this interests and priorities but... it's not a obligation like "omg I HAVE to do ALL" no. You want to do all, but it's okay if don't work some days, he admires you organization and the way you management your time and schedule. I feel your s.p like calm and stable people, he doesn't like unnecessary drama in his life and you just have this flow, if something doesn't work you just be flexible and this is important too: you think before make decisions! 100% not reactive, you think and go inwards before choosing anything. And you have a introspective side that he just loves too much.

I feel like you are someone who brings them peace love and very good advices when needed (after all no one likes be with someone who just complains, fight for every minimal thing, always need to be right to feel "respected" etc, he admires the peace bring with you.) I feel he deals with a lot of stress in his work place and when he sees you... it's too good, like a oasis.

Signs: poems, tea, wind place, scorpio, leo, sagittarius, venus, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune placements are important, numbers 7, 11 and 12 (can be days, months or house in astrology; 7 represents love and commercial partnerships and our relation with public, 11 it's ruled by Saturn and Uranus (definitely a lot of air sign) and talks about flow, strong thinking and important of expansion and 12 it's the house of our unconscious, fears, dreams and spirituality)

Pile 3

I feel like you give a lot of importance to material possessions, you don't act like "Oh money isn't important blablabla" you know money is important, you work to have a good life, to you things like good education, good house in a great neighborhood, travel to have fun but to also acquire culture and knowledge, good clothes with quality. This are important too you (is giving me old money mindset vibes and if you don't know about it, and I'm NOT talking about the "old money" from Tiktok - I highly recommend the "The Old Money Book: Living better while spending less" to you, it's very short has 158 pages) but you don't live FOR money, the money is your servant not your master!

He admires how you always seem to have a behavior like "this is only temporary and shall pass soon" when something bad or uncomfortable happens, and he really admires this. You have a very outgoing personality, full of energy and optimism (and you have some kind of sex appeal but in a elegant way), you are not afraid to work to have the things you desire, your energy is very positive and uplifting (I feel like your future Spouse enjoys SO MUCH talk to you, he loves to see you so determined to get the things you want and he has this feeling that you two will evolve and grow together.

Also: you are a generous soul, with money and with your time, love and affection and wisdom. Maybe you are into some charity, you are very loving and loyal and this... big turn on to them, I think it's honestly the thing he admires most about you, your personality, your values. You like a rare jewel to them.

Signs: VERY strong water placements, pisces, scorpio and cancer, moon, sun and Mars placements (makes so much sense because mars rules goals) numbers 6, 5, 4 and 8 (can be days, months or house. 6 its concrete and practical knowledge, it's also associated to cleanse, maintenance, work capacity and routine service's (again: makes so much sense, you guys value quality and take care of what you have so last longer, don't have need to buy new things), 5 it's you creative side, what gives you pleasure, 4 it's what we have most profound in us and 8 transition of life and things, ending of cycles).

Hope y'all like this reading, it's my first reading related to love and I'm so happy, I had so much fun doing this and hope you guys too. See you in the next reading.

Xoxo

- Lia

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actuallysaiyan · 23 days

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The First Time(Aka How Nanami Kento Lost His Virginity) Chapter One: A Lesson In Kissing

Chapter One: A Lesson In Kissing

warnings: kissing, exploring sexually, fluff, mentions of IRL creative licenses/pop culture references pairings: Emo!Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader summary: after a few weeks of getting to know the shy and stoic Nanami Kento, you invite him over to your dorm to watch some anime. as things progress, you realize that you have taken his kissing virginity...

taglist: @beneathstarryskies @seireiteihellbutterfly @benkeibear @kenpachisbrat. @gennaray

MDNI banner and Support your writers banner by the lovely benkeibear!!!

Masterlist

Classes had begun fairly well and you were getting into the full swing of things. Moving to a different city and going to a prestigious university hadn’t been your initial plan, but when you won the bursary and the scholarship, you found yourself unable to say no. Your parents had encouraged you to go, praising you for your high grades and your charismatic nature. So with that in mind, you had been very excited about the prospect.

You had worked in a bank a little bit during your last year of high school. And it completely changed your mindset about money. You decided not long after that that you were going to study to become a financial advisor. You wanted to be able to help people with their money. You wanted them to see that they could make good, fiscal plans with their assets.

And taking classes in business and finance could open a lot of doors for you. Even if the financial advisor job fell through, you could make your way into a job in stocks. Anything in the financial and business field would make you happy.

This is where you met Nanami Kento. He’s shy, sullen and stoic. He hides in the back of your shared classes. You swear he’s not paying attention whatsoever, but he’s acing the tests and the quizzes. He’s at the top of the class, no matter the subject. He’s got his nose buried in a book or his notebook most of the time.

It was his amber eyes that drew you in. Most of the time you only got to see one as he covers the other with his bangs. He rarely smiles, which also draws you in. Everyone else is dressed in business attire, whereas Kento wears business casual. And he’s very heavy on the casual side of things.

But due to his academic successes and good grades, nobody is batting an eyelash at him. Seemingly you might be the only person in these classes that is even remotely interested in him. One thing that really caught your eye was his collection of pins on his jacket.

You approach him one day after class, and he shoots you a confused look. Everyone is leaving the classroom, but you wanted to get to know him more. You wanted to approach him. And the minute you do, you notice not only does he have a look of confusion on his face, but he’s also blushing.

“You’re Nanami-san, yes?” You inquire, even if you know the answer.

He pulls his bag over his shoulder, “Y-yes. That’s me.”

You introduce yourself and extend your hand out to him, “Nice to meet you. I really like your pin.”

When he doesn’t shake your hand, you point at the cute little GIR pin on his lapel. Not many people you know have watched Invader Zim. He sort of looks at you in shock for a minute before turning away.

“Thanks, see ya.”

And you don’t approach him for another few weeks after that first encounter. You wonder if he’s just shy or if he’s abrasive. He seems so cute in your eyes. So you push yourself to make an effort to talk to him more.

The second time, you invite him out to lunch. He doesn’t outright say yes, but he also doesn’t say no. He begins to follow you to the cafe just outside of the campus. You both order a coffee and sit in silence for a little bit.

“How’d you find the test?” You ask him, taking a sip of your coffee.

He shrugs, “It was fine.”

“You must be very smart. You’re at the top of our class.”

He blushes and shrugs once more, “I don’t know. It’s just not too hard for me.”

The conversation dies down before you head over to the counter and order two sandwiches. Then you return with the two plates and Kento is confused. It’s been a long time since anyone has bought him lunch. He’s really not sure why someone as beautiful as you would even bother with him.

“Do you like the band The Used?”

Kento’s eyes widen, “Y-yeah! You like The Used?”

You nod. “Love ‘em! They are so awesome.”

This begins an acquaintanceship between you and Kento. You spend the lunch hour chatting about your favorite bands, your favorite manga and anime and of course, your favorite tv shows. You both discover very quickly that you have so much in common.

By the time lunch hour is over, you’re both upset that you’ll have to end the conversation. You see Kento in a whole new light, and him…he realizes that there are still some good people in this world.

The next time you two meet, you invite him to your dorm room. He’s never been invited to someone’s dorm since he enrolled, so he’s a little nervous about it. Not to mention the fact that he thinks he’s developing a crush on you. This coupled with the fact that he’s entirely a virgin scares him. Nevertheless, he makes his way to your dorm and knocks on the door. In his other hand is a bag of snacks and drinks to share with you.

“Kento-kun! Nice to see you! Come in,” you greet him in such a sunny way. Your demeanor was beginning to remind him of someone from his past.

He smiles shyly, “Thanks.”

He makes his way into your little space. Despite it being small, you’ve managed to make it feel so nice and cozy. It’s well decorated with band posters, comfy furniture and even a little kitchenette area. He’s surprised that you could make such a small place look so much like a home.

“Sit down,” you motion to the couch. “I’ll get us some cups.”

You return to the living room area of the room and join him on the couch. On your little TV, you have some old anime playing. Kento is immediately sucked in. You find the drinks in his bag and pour the drinks. Your fingers brush against his when you pass him the cup. He shudders from the sudden contact, hiding it by returning his attention to the TV.

“You like this?” You gesture to the TV.

He nods, “Yeah, this is Ninja Scroll, right?”

“Yeah! I didn’t think anyone was still interested in this sort of stuff.”

You and Kento begin a conversation about anime and the movie that’s playing. You both can’t stop talking to each other. It’s just like the conversation continues to flow so naturally between the two of you. The more you conversed., the more you found yourself liking him. He’s cute, knowledgeable and not like a lot of the other guys you’ve met.

As the conversation dies down, both of you sit in a comfortable semi-silence. The movie comes to a point where the romance is noticeable. You feel your heart pumping a little faster when you look at Kento again.

He’s blushing as his eyes lock with yours. He’s never even kissed before, but he’s not stupid. He knows where you want to take this relationship, but he’s so damn scared to fuck it up. There’s got to be some sort of false confidence he could display.

Yet the minute your soft lips press against his, he knows you’re going to be able to suss out his inexperience within seconds. He doesn’t know how to kiss you back, so he sits there stunned. His hands are shaking as you sit even closer to him. And then when you pull away, you notice the look on his face.

“Shit, I am so sorry, Kento. I thought…well, I thought maybe you wanted to make-out.”

Kento’s cheeks burn even more, “I-I do, I just… Idon’tknowhowto.”

You can barely make out what he’s just said. But the sentiment is there and you pick it apart. He’s never made out before. Your brain turns this information over a few times and then it clicks. That was probably his first kiss. You begin to blush and apologize profusely.

“I am so sorry, I thought that maybe…”

Then he surprises you. He kisses you. It’s sloppy and harsh, but you appreciate it all the same. Your hand reaches out to cup his face, and he shudders again. You’re so soft and you smell so good and the feeling of your lips on his makes his heart race. When he pulls away, he’s the one apologizing.

“Don’t even say you’re sorry. That was a sweet kiss.”

Then the two of you turn to face each other. The tension could be cut with a knife. You reach out to cup his face again, pulling him even closer. His hands shake as he tries to caress you, but he’s just not even sure what to do. You lead him through another kiss, this time you deepen it just a bit more.

His fists stay clenched at his side for the first part of this kiss, then you gently reach out to intertwine your fingers with his. The minute you do this, he melts into the kiss.

Then you pull away, leaning your forehead against his. Your hands are so soft against his face. He nuzzles his face into your palm before he leans in once more. This time, Kento takes the lead which surprises you. He pins you down on the couch with his body weight.

The kisses that follow are so tentative and slow. He’s learning how to be less sloppy and more precise. He’s gaining confidence the more you two explore, and soon you feel his hands on your sides. He caresses you so softly, almost like he’s afraid you’re going to slip away and end up being some figment of his imagination.

“You’re a good kisser,” you compliment him when you both pull away to breathe.

“T-thanks…you were my first.”

You cup his cheeks, “I know that, baby.”

Then your lips meet in another sweet kiss. But this time you surprise him by gliding your tongue along his bottom lip. Kento freezes for a moment, then he parts his lips.

‘So soft, so sweet…tastes so good.’ His mind is racing with thoughts like this. ‘Wanna taste her even more…’

Your tongues rub and roll together sensually. Soon you feel him grinding against you and you notice just how hard he is. His erection is poking against your thigh. And as much as you want to keep going, you think it’s probably for the best that you pace these things out.

So you pull away, leaving Kento panting and looking so dazed. He’s so sweet like this. This is the cutest look on his face you have ever seen. His lips try to chase yours a little, but you pull back just enough. Then you caress his cheek.

“Let’s slow this down, yeah?”

He swallows hard. “Oh uhm…yeah okay.”

You notice his disappointment, “I just don’t want you to rush into this. Let’s make this something special,”

He finally nods and smiles. His heart feels full of affection for you. This was exactly what he needed after all the trauma in his life. You were truly someone who cared and you were looking out for him.

You kiss his cheek. “Don’t worry. I really like you. I’m not kicking you out.”

He smiles shyly, “Okay cool. Can we maybe cuddle?”

You wrap your arms around him and bring him even closer. His head rests on your chest and you two fall into the blissful happiness of cuddles.

#bacon.writes #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x y/n #kento nanami x reader #kento nanami x you #kento nanami x y/n #jjk nanami #jjk nanami x reader #jjk nanami x you

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deakyjoe · 14 days

Text

Pattern Breaker

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd x Reader (afab)

Category: smut, fluff, friends to lovers, idiots in love

Summary: A love confession turns to more once Bob knows you’re interested.

Warnings: 18+, smut (!!), protected p in v sex, f receiving oral (pussy eating king), vaginal fingering, grinding/dry humping, handjob, kissing, groping, scratching/marking, Bob fucks, love confessions, fluff, talks of bad dates, reader described as having hair and being shorter than Bob (but nothing else), swearing/cursing - let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 7.1k (it kinda ran away from me)

A/N: My humble contribution to the Bob Fucks Agenda 🫡

Consider buying me a coffee :)

Bob Floyd was head over heels in love with you.

Yet he had no idea what series of mistakes had landed him here. In the Hard Deck. With you. Sat next to him. In a tight booth. Your thigh pressed up against his. Tracing patterns with the tip of your finger on the back of his hand. Many would argue that this didn't seem like a bad thing. Why would something so intimate with someone he was in love with be a mistake? Well, the issue was that you were doing it in a totally platonic way.

You were doing it mindlessly too, as you engaged in idle conversation with Phoenix opposite you, which almost made it worse. Bob Floyd's brain was whirring at a million miles per second over something you were doing without even thinking about it. It took every ounce of self restraint to stop himself from moving. Closer to you or further away, he didn't know. But he tried to stay still. So very still. Just so you'd keep doing it.

He was also desperately trying to pay attention to the story you were telling Phoenix, about the latest bad first date you'd been on. It appeared to be a regular thing with you. A string of first dates where you knew before you'd even ordered the entrées that they wouldn't be the right guy for you. And you always had valid reasons, at least in Bob's opinion.

"He told me he doesn't like sunsets." You groaned. "Like, who doesn't like sunsets?"

Bob personally loved sunsets.

Phoenix frowned at you. "Did he give a reason why?"

Bob imagined that Phoenix was feeling a little guilty about the whole thing. After all, she was the one who'd set you up with this guy. But he was thankful for it. He didn't know what he'd do with himself when you finally managed to find the right guy and it wasn't him.

"Something about the day ending and having a mindset about being on the grind I think, I don't know." You sighed, pausing your finger's movement against the back of Bob's hand for a moment before carrying on. He almost had a heart attack when you pressed your cheek into his shoulder and started leaning against him as well.

"Sorry it didn't work out. I can find you another guy maybe, umm..." Phoenix trailed off with a thoughtful hum.

But you waved her off. "No, it's okay. I think I'm done with blind dates for now."

Bob's head snapped towards you. Oh?

"If you're sure." Phoenix started to rise from the table, pressing her hands into the wooded surface. "I think I'm gonna call it a night. See you two tomorrow."

"Goodnight, see you tomorrow." You smiled at her, nudging Bob with your elbow when he stayed silent.

He flinched away from you. "Ow! What? Oh. Yeah, goodnight."

Phoenix's eyes flicked between the two of you, an amused huff leaving her mouth before she gave you both a mock salute and left the bar.

There was a silence between the two of you for a moment as you relaxed against Bob's shoulder a little more.

"What about you? Ready to call it a night?" You asked, turning to rest your chin on his bicep so you could look up at his face.

He glanced at you briefly, turning away again when he realised how close your faces were in that position and cleared his throat. "No, I'm good here for a little longer. If you are?"

You nodded and sat up, extracting yourself from his touch completely. Bob almost sobbed at the loss of contact.

"Yeah, I'm good." You paused to take him in, how he wasn't looking directly at you. He did that sometimes. You always figured he was just a little awkward about eye contact. Which was a shame considering his eyes were your favourite shade of blue.

Bob did flicker his eyes towards you then, wondering why you were staring at him silently. "Are you okay?"

You shrugged. "I kinda wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah?" He turned to face you properly, knees angled towards you to show that you had his full attention. "What about?"

You looked at him for a few seconds too long, enough to make him anxious and you think that maybe you'd given something away with your eyes. "You know how when we met we just clicked?"

Bob was surprised at that question. But he knew exactly what you meant. So he nodded. "Yeah."

You scrunched your nose and looked away from him for a second. "Well, I'm not clicking with any of these guys I'm going on blind dates with."

He knew that, you’d said as much. So he really didn't know where you were going with this. "Okay...”

"I just wish it was as easy as it was with you. Like we just work together so perfectly, I don't even feel like I'm trying with you."

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, looking sideways at you. "Uh-"

Your eyes widened and you were quick to clarify, hands held up in apology. "And not like I don't put any effort into it with you but just like I don't feel as if I'm constantly trying to make it work, y'know?"

He nodded again. "Sure."

You sighed frustratedly. "Do you get what I'm trying to say here, Bob?"

"Not really." He shook his head and gave a weak, apologetic smile.

You chuckled. "I'm trying to say that I've never clicked with a guy like I have with you."

"Right." He straightened up.

"But we're just friends." You said slowly.

He hesitated. "Mhm."

You squinted at him. "To cut it short I'm trying to say that I think I'm in love with you."

Bob could have fallen out of his seat.

"Oh!"

Now, that caught him really off guard.

"Well, I'm trying to figure out my feelings for you. Because they're certainly more than friendly!" You laughed quietly. "Which isn't really fair. To me or to you. But it's gotta be done because I'm sick of not clicking with men and being on dates where I'm just constantly thinking of how much easier it would be if I were sat across from you instead."

Bob ignored most of your rambling, fixating on one little statement. "Why's it not fair?"

Your face crumpled momentarily. "It's going to make it awkward for you if I am in fact in love with you. And it's unfair for me because I might be in love with a guy who only views me platonically."

Bob looked at you for a moment, eyes wide and almost pleading, and uttered your name softly.

You frowned. "What?"

He gave you a meaningful look.

"You do view me platonically, right?" You leant backwards. "Right?"

He glanced away from you before looking back, giving a short and sharp shake of his head. No.

The world shook around you.

"But- but you never made a move. I thought that you..." You trailed off into distressed thought.

"Oh, I made moves. Just not very obvious ones apparently." He cleared his throat with a quick cough, scrunching his face momentarily in embarrassment.

"Why did you never just say?"

"I guessed that you weren't interested since you never seemed to reciprocate my- my moves." He scratched at the back of his neck, feeling embarrassed at the thought of his moves.

"But I'm all over you!" You exclaimed. "I'm so touchy!"

He froze and turned to you stiffly. "I thought you were just like that. With everyone!"

"Have you ever seen me touch another human being half as much as I touch you?" You said monotonously.

"Well..." He thought about it. He hadn't. You gave hugs, sure. But you certainly didn't stand with your head resting on anyone's shoulder, arms wrapped around their bicep like you did with him. You didn't sit next to anyone, legs resting over their thighs, like you did with him. You definitely didn't trace patterns on the back of anyone's hand like you had been with him earlier.

You let him think about it for a few moments before interrupting his thoughts. "You didn't answer my question. Why didn't you just say?"

Bob looked deep into your eyes, recognising the look of regret he could feel within himself. "By the time I had the courage to... the friendship was already solidified. And I thought it would ruin it."

"Oh, Bob." You smiled widely at him. "You should've said something. I had a huge crush on you when we first met."

Have a huge crush. Have.

He perked up slightly. "You did?"

No. Do.

"Yeah! I buried it after a while because I figured you weren't interested. And now I'm realising that I'm probably in love with you anyway." You found it almost funny how the two of you seemed to be in the exact same situation and yet had no idea how the other was feeling.

He decided to be honest. "It would certainly brighten my day if you were."

You had a thought suddenly. "Walk me home?"

Bob felt a sense of whiplash from the rapid change in topic. But didn't question it. "O-okay."

You grinned at him and motioned for him to get up, following him out of the booth and grabbing his hand once you were stood next to him. Not having to worry about closing out a tab with Penny since you'd been paying for drinks each time you ordered, you didn't hesitate in dragging him behind you out the back door of the Hard Deck and onto the beach.

You took a glimpse at Bob next to you, finding him already watching you. "Figured we could do the moonlit beach walk on the way back to my place."

He just nodded, not missing the way you were still grasping onto his hand as the two of you started walking in the direction of your home. The moonlight beach walk wasn't an uncommon occurrence between the two of you. You'd done it countless times before, in fact. It was just a nice thing to do that happened to involve some nice views that you both enjoyed. It just felt different this time, Bob thought to himself.

He had to ask. "Your last blind date, did he really not like sunsets?"

You looked at him, delighted by the seemingly random question. "Yeah. How off-putting is that?!"

"Very." Bob mumbled. "Y'know... I really like sunsets."

Ah, you saw what he was getting at.

"I know." You chirped. "I'll never forget the sunset on the day we met when you explained that the reason they're so colourful is because of the way the light scatters through the atmosphere. It was very purple that night."

His eyebrows shot up. He'd forgotten he'd told you that. But you were right. It had been very purple. He'd watched you take about thirty photographs of the sky. And knew then that he was in trouble.

The rest of the walk back to your place was quiet, a few passing comments made between the two of you as you pointed out a cute dog and Bob showed you where new flowers were beginning to blossom on a tree you regularly saw. Your hands stayed intertwined the whole time, swinging gently between your bodies.

It was easy. Just how it should be.

Silence shrouded the two of you as you approached your front door, wondering what was supposed to come next. Bob was still hung up on your sudden abandonment of your conversation back at the Hard Deck as you stopped at your door. Why had you dropped it?

The question escaped him as you suddenly tugged him a lot closer, so your chests almost touched, and lowered your voice.

"Come inside."

It wasn't proposed as a question, or even a request, but as more of a statement. Like you were telling him that he should follow you into your home to find out what happens next. Because of this, Bob could only reply with one thing.

"Okay."

There was no turning back now.

You beamed at him and rushed to unlock your door, flicking on a light switch once it was open and ushering him in behind you. Bob had been to your place countless times before, even crashed on your couch once or twice after nights there had run a little too long, but this time felt different. Just like the walk on the beach had.

He supposed it was because of what the two of you confessed earlier that night. But he still couldn't shake the thoughts about the fact that the conversation hadn't carried on to a point where he knew what was going to happen next between the two of you. Bob wanted answers. And he guessed that they were hidden in the depths of your home.

You guided him to your kitchen, offered him a drink which he politely declined, and stopped suddenly in the middle of the room to turn on your heel and look at him.

"Do you know why I asked you back here?"

He stilled a few paces in front of you. "Honestly? No."

You smiled at that. "Because I decided that I am."

Bob was even more confused. "Am what?"

You barked out a laugh like you suddenly realised you'd left out half of your sentence and that what you'd said had made no coherent sense. "In love with you. Absolutely head over heels. One hundred per cent.”

He said nothing in reply, sensing that you had more you wanted to say. He was right.

"And I wanted to be able to explore that possibility for us without prying eyes. In the privacy of my home." You huffed, slightly frustrated. Bob took a single step towards you. "I don't- I don't know how to say this."

He closed the gap, hands resting on your arms to reassure you. You'd never struggled to tell him anything and he certainly didn't want that to start now. "It's me. You can say anything to me. You know that. It's okay."

When you met his gaze again, your eyes were slightly glassy with tears. But you blinked them away. They were angry tears at yourself for taking this long to get to this point with him. It should've happened so much sooner.

Your eyes flickered to his lips. Bob knew what that meant, he was feeling it himself, but wanted you to say it.

Letting out a slightly shaky laugh, you composed yourself. "You might need to let me spiral and talk for a minute."

He smiled softly, surprised he wasn't doing his own spiralling and talking in this situation. "That's okay."

You nodded and sighed. "Okay, so. I don't want things to change between us. Well, I do. But, like, not everything. I still want us to be us. I still want to be able to tell you everything and have easy conversations and just go for walks on the beach and talk about meaningless things and have you explain stuff to me that you think I'll find interesting and sit close to each other just because we can not because we have to."

You stopped for breath and Bob felt like he was having to restrain his heart from bursting out of his chest.

"We'll still just be me and you and things will be easy between us. Like they always have been. But now... instead of sleeping on my couch after late nights, you'll- you'll sleep in my bed. And we'll kiss and, god, have a lot of sex I hope."

Bob chuckled at that and you joined him, happy to see that he wasn't freaking out at everything you were saying.

"We'll still be me and you but just... evolved. Right?"

Bob had started the evening knowing he was head over heels in love with you. He couldn't believe the night was ending with that love somehow growing even more, combining with yours to create some force that defied the laws of nature. The room was practically swimming in it, he could feel it prickling at the surface of his skin and taste it on the top of his tongue.

He nodded firmly at you. "Me and you but evolved."

You visibly relaxed under his hands and smiled giddily up at him. "Great, can you kiss me now?"

You didn't have to ask Bob twice.

The kiss started off sweet, almost innocent. A few, slightly open mouthed, pecks as the two of you giggled against each other. It was something new for the two of you. So even thought it felt right, it was still new territory to explore. But it didn't take long for it to take a turn. As soon as you opened your mouth fully to lick gently against Bob's lips, it was like something in him snapped.

An arm snaked around your waist and tugged you flush against him, chest to chest, and his other hand tangled in the back of your hair. His nose crammed into your cheek, his glasses falling slightly askew, as he licked into your mouth hotly with his head angled down to meet you halfway.

Your head whirled with the thought that he was good at this. Bob Floyd was an extraordinarily good kisser. Why hadn't you done this sooner?

You let out soft moans to encourage him despite him not even seeming shy about the idea anymore. In fact, Bob had no sense of restraint left in him. He'd waited so long for this, for you. And now he was lost in the feeling of your skin against his and the sounds you were making in reply to what he was doing. Which is why he let his hands drift across you more, not anchoring his touch to any specific place.

You felt like you were on fire, no time to breathe as breaks for oxygen were mere fractions of a second long. You'd never imagined him being capable of making you feel like this so quickly. Your lower abdomen burning with desire and your panties already practically soaked through. And he hadn't even touched you intimately yet. You could only hope that you were having half the same effect on him.

Bob's hands lowered themselves slowly, tracing along your ribcage, circling your waist, gripping at your hips, before he tentatively let them rest on your ass. You hummed in motivating appreciation and pushed yourself up even more to kiss him impossibly harder. He took that as a good sign, fingers digging into the flesh beneath them and rocking your pelvis towards his. Where you found that he was hard.

A noise rumbled in your chest, leaking out as a high pitched whine directly into his mouth.

Bob pulled away with a slight look of concern in his eyes which now held almost no trace of the blue shade you'd come to adore, pupils blown wide enough to engulf his irises. "Is this too much? We can slow down."

You shook your head, slowing down being the last thing you wanted. "No, I'm just surprised that you're so... handsy. I always thought you were a gentleman."

"Oh." He blushed a deep red, the colour reaching the tips of his ears. "I'm just eager, I guess. We can wait. I mean, I can wait. If it's too much."

You leaned back in closer to him, lips brushing across his. "Don't you think we've waited long enough?"

He did.

Somehow the second round of kissing was even more searing, almost consuming, than the first. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand gripping tightly onto his hair and tugging occasionally. Bob didn't let up squeezing at your ass after he'd realised that the sound you'd made previously was one of pleasure and not pain, rocking your hips into his a couple times more for good measure.

When his lips moved to trail a line of kisses down your jawline and onto your neck, your eyes practically rolled back into your head. This was too good to be true. You were stood in your kitchen, at almost midnight, and Bob was sucking a hickey into your neck. How was this even real?

You realised that if you didn't move soon then the two of you were going to end up fucking on the kitchen floor. And whilst you weren't totally against the idea, you figured you should at least offer him the comfort of a bed for your first time together.

"Bedroom, Floyd. Now." You gasped, grasping his hair to pull him away from your neck. But when you got a good look at him, you almost abandoned the idea completely. His hair was ruffled from where you'd been pulling at it, his glasses sat crookedly on his nose, his face was flushed a rosy pink, his lips were swollen and kiss bitten, and his eyes were darker than you'd ever seen them. He was a sight to behold.

You snapped back to reality, fixed his glasses so they sat correctly on his face, clenched your legs together, and grabbed a fistful of his shirt to tug him behind you towards your bedroom. Bob, of course, had no complaints about this and followed you very happily. After watching you kick off your shoes as the both of you scurried down your hallway, he did the same. Not many thoughts were occurring in his brain at that moment, not any clean ones anyway, but one thing was certain as he looked at you: he'd never wanted someone more.

The bedroom door slammed shut behind him and before he had the chance to take in any of his surroundings he was pressed up against it and your lips were on his again, your hands desperately clutching at the bottom of his shirt to untuck it from his pants.

"Why- do- you- always- wear- your- uniform?" The question was asked between fiery kisses. Not that you were complaining. You loved to see him in his uniform. But he always looked so formal.

Bob waited until you were too distracted trying to unbuckle his belt to kiss him so he could get his answer out fully. "You once told me I look handsome in it."

You paused and tilted your head up to look at him. Taking in his open expression, you could tell that he was being honest. "God, I fucking love that you listen to me."

He laughed momentarily before his jaw snapped shut and he swallowed thickly as you began fumbling with his belt buckle again. "Your hands are shaking."

The observation was simple but had you freezing anyway. "Care to help a girl out then?"

Bob could tell that you were getting anxious, nerves suddenly overruling the initial excitement and lust. He could understand. He was currently running on the high of you dragging him to your bedroom. Maybe you also needed something like that to keep you going.

He glanced over your shoulder towards your bed and nodded towards it. "Lie down."

Bob watched as the fire quickly re-ignited in your eyes and you did as you were told, bouncing on the mattress as you sprawled yourself across it. Undoing his belt completely, he took a few steps towards you until he stood between your open legs.

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows to watch him eagerly. The mattress dipped as he knelt on it and crawled across it until he was hovering over you.

You hummed quietly, teeth sinking into your bottom lip. "Hmm, I like this position."

He leaned in close, as if going to kiss you. "I thought you might."

His voice was low, rumbling deep in his chest. It was a tone you'd only had the privilege of hearing a few times before. During late nights when he was tired and could barely keep his eyes open as you continued to talk his ears off with meaningless nonsense but did so anyway just so he could listen to you talk. When he'd held you close to him during crowded nights at the Hard Deck and spoken directly into your ear so you could hear him over the sounds flooding the place. Moments that were intimate between you both but you'd been too oblivious to see as more than platonic.

It was the voice that Bob Floyd used to flirt with you.

You pulled back, wide eyed, to get a good look at him. "Oh, my god. You have made moves."

His brows scrunch for a moment, a confused laugh bubbling out of him. "Yeah, I said so earlier."

"I know but that voice." You poked his chest accusingly. "It's your flirty, sultry, bedroom voice! You've used it on me before!"

"It's not my-" He paused, thinking about it for a second, and then shrugged. "Oh, yeah. Maybe you're right."

"I like it, it's hot. Do it again." You giggled when he rolled his eyes, reaching your hands up to start unfastening the buttons on his shirt.

"And what would you like me to say?" His voice dipped back down to the low tone and you had to suppress a shiver.

"Anything. I just like hearing you talk." You reached the last button and helped him slide the shirt from his shoulders, revealing a white undershirt that you knew always resided underneath. The brown uniform shirt was discarded somewhere on your bedroom floor.

"How about how I think it's time for you to start removing some clothes? Since my shirt's off and my belt is unbuckled." His raised a finger to trace along the neckline of your t-shirt.

You whined. "Not fair. You're not even showing any skin yet. If I take my shirt off then all I've got is a bra on underneath."

Bob chuckled, low voice lost for a moment. "Is my white t-shirt not the equivalent of your bra?"

You pondered it for a moment. Maybe he was right. "Depends if you like the way my tits look in this bra as much as I like the way your biceps look in that white shirt."

He took a quick glance at his arms which were caging you into the bed, hand planted on either side of your head. "My biceps, huh?"

"A weakness of mine, I admit." You shrugged and sat up, pushing at his chest to give you some room. "Have to stop myself from biting them when I rest my head on your shoulder."

"For the record, I'd totally let you."

With a laugh you took Bob's hands in yours and guided them to the hem of your shirt, giving him a nod of confirmation. "You would now but let's be honest, it would've been a little unusual of me to just suddenly bite you before."

He tried desperately to keep eye contact with you as he pulled your shirt over your head and tossed it aside. "Maybe, but I wouldn't have said a word of complaint."

"I'll remember that for the future." You paused and noticed his frozen stare. "You're allowed to look, y'know?"

He knew but he was holding himself back with the knowledge that he'd probably go feral once he saw you without a shirt on. Just below his eye line he could tell that the bra you were wearing was lacy and pretty much see-through. He took a deep breath before looking properly and let out a very low groan when he saw that your nipples were hard and very visible through the fabric.

Bob's dick twitched in his pants at the sight. He feared he wouldn't last very long once the two of you actually got going.

You leant back on your hands and watched him look over you. It was kind of entertaining and certainly a confidence booster for you. "Like what you see?"

His eyes met yours again. "Shut up. You know I fucking do."

That sent a ripple of heat through you. Despite knowing him for so long, you'd never heard Bob curse. He'd let out the occasional damn at big inconveniences but never anything more than that. You figured it was part of him being such a gentleman and the fact that he loved to point out that his mother raised him right.

"Careful, Floyd. That dirty mouth will get you in trouble." You flattened your back onto the bed again, pulling him down on top of you by a handful of his shirt.

"If by trouble you mean with you underneath me then I'm willing to take that risk." His voice somehow got lower, a raspy edge being added to it. It's like he knew exactly how to break you.

You grabbed his face in your hands and pulled him down to kiss you again, you'd gone too long without feeling his mouth on yours, and you revelled in the grunt he let out against your lips.

This was a whole new side to Bob that you were seeing. And you were loving it. Somehow it was still so easy, the two of you continuing to just bounce off of each other and the sexual chemistry was luckily just naturally there as well. You thought it may have been slightly awkward between you but you'd never felt so confident about sleeping with someone in your life.

Bob realised he should probably check something before the two of you got any further so pulled away momentarily. "Do you have a condom?"

"Oh, yeah! Wait, hang on-" You slid away from him, hanging over the edge of the bed to rifle through a drawer in your nightstand. Producing a small box, you waved it triumphantly at him.

"Hoping those blind dates were going to be successful, huh?" He teased, reaching out to grab your waist to drag you back underneath him. He was relieved you had the box but if you didn't then he knew it wouldn't have stopped him from doing other things to you until you were able to buy some condoms.

Your jaw dropped. "No! Just never underprepared."

"I applaud your readiness. I'm sure if the apocalypse hits then we'll be thankful for your supply of condoms."

"If the apocalypse hits then we'll be tasked with repopulating the Earth and have to have lots of unprotected sex to do so." You bit back playfully, glad to see when his eyes fluttered shut momentarily at the mention of doing it raw. "Oh, you like that thought, huh?"

"You caught me. Guilty." He raised a hand in surrender before gesturing at you. "Now let's get naked so we can have lots of protected sex."

You had to fight back a surge of laughter but let a few giggles escape when you found Bob looking at you with an amused look of his own. You were glad that the two of you were still able to joke and be you even in an intimate moment like this, relieved that it didn't suddenly become serious.

Clothes were discarded and quick kisses were exchanged as the two of you inched closer and closer to where you both really wanted to be. After your bra had been unclasped and thrown into the void with every other item of clothing, and Bob had thoroughly explored your chest with both his hands and mouth, you fell back onto the bed with him on top of you for another round of kissing. It's like the two of you couldn't keep your lips separated for longer than necessary.

His bare chest pressed into yours, a sheen of sweat gliding between you, as he rocked his hips against you, grinding his hard length into your clothed pussy.

If you'd told Bob at the beginning of the evening that this was how his night would end then he would've laughed and told you he didn't believe you. But now that he was here, he couldn't have imagined it any other way. That's what made him realise that enough was enough.

He suddenly broke the kiss and sat up again, kneeling in between your legs. Hooking two fingers into the waistband of your panties, he made eye contact with you. "May I?"

You nodded vigorously.

Bob shook his head. "Words."

You could've orgasmed right there and then. "Yes, you can."

He took that answer and started to slide your panties down your legs slowly, helping you to lift your hips to get them off easier. Once they reached your ankles he plucked them off and cast them aside, planting a quick kiss on your calf before lowering your legs either side of him again.

You reached for the condoms to pass them to him, aware that you were only the one step of removing his underwear away before he'd finally be inside you.

But he pushed your hand aside, choosing instead to slide his palms down your thighs. "In a minute."

"We haven't got forever, y'know. Get on it." You laughed, curious as to what he was doing.

"Gotta get you ready first." He mumbled, pushing your legs apart so he could see better.

Oh? "I can assure you that I'm plenty ready and wet and would like your dick inside me now please."

"So polite." He hummed with a smile on his face. "And I can see how wet you are. Just gotta make sure that you're relaxed enough to take me."

"Somebody's confident about their size, huh?"

He laughed as he shook his head. "Would you rather me not go down on you?"

As much as you were teasing him not to, you very much wanted him to. "Fine, if you insist." You replied with a sigh and an exaggerated roll of your eyes.

Bob almost chuckled, but when he looked up into your eyes again he was met with an angelic vision. You were stretched out on the bed, naked, for him. All for him. He reminded himself to thank the universe at some point. But, before that, he needed to thank you by making you come.

He shuffled back on the bed, moving your legs over his shoulders as he did so, and laid flat on his stomach before you. And got to work.

Bob practically devoured you.

You writhed underneath his grasp, one of his arms thrown across your stomach to keep you in place, as he licked and sucked at you. Your clit throbbed against his tongue as he flicked it from side to side over the sensitive spot. One of your hands flew to tangle in his hair as your legs trembled on either side of his head.

"Oh- oh, my god." You panted, chest heaving with laboured breaths. You looked down at him to see that his glasses had fogged up. You let out a slightly strangled laugh at him as he decided to slide a finger into you at that moment.

"Fuck me. Fuck, fuck, fuck." You gasped and collapsed back onto the pillows.

Bob moaned into you and you let out a cry at the feeling of the vibrations running through you. His finger pumped in and out of you. Slowly at first before he increased the pace and then, once you were somehow even wetter, introduced a second finger.

And with two of his fingers inside of you, bending slightly to hit that sweet spot inside of you, along with his tongue making tight little circles on your clit, it didn't take long for the pressure to build in your lower abdomen and then suddenly explode through you. Your body shook with pleasure, a tidal wave of profanity and primal noises escaping your mouth.

Bob gave you no time to rest though, surging up your body and kissing you again, giving you a taste of yourself which had you moaning into his mouth. When he pulled back again, you smiled. His glasses were still foggy.

"Can you even see through these?" You asked, reaching up to take them off of him. Wiping gently at the lenses with your bedsheets, you awaited an answer.

"Not really. I usually take them off for this kind of thing. But I forgot. In the excitement." He looked away from you, embarrassed. Funny how he could still be shy despite having just eaten you out like no one else had before.

You hummed quietly, taking his face in your hands to direct him to kiss you again after you'd placed his glasses down on your nightstand as you wrapped your legs around the backs of his and bucked your hips up towards him. "Are we going to do something about you now? Because I know you've been hard since we first kissed."

"I was hoping you hadn't noticed how quickly that happened." The low, raspy voice was back and you felt yourself melting a little on the inside.

"Difficult not to when we were practically dry humping in the middle of the kitchen." You trailed a finger down his torso over his, extremely sculpted, abs and stopped at the waistband of his boxers, hooking the tip of your finger inside.

He watched what you were doing. "I did get a little carried away there, granted."

You paused, asking him the silent question of approval to carry on, before slipping your hand into his underwear and grabbing him. His skin was soft and velvety under your palm and, before you even had the chance to start stroking him, his dick twitched in your hand. "Mmm... so sensitive, Bobby."

He whimpered quietly, squeezing his eyes shut.

You reached for the box of condoms again, realising this probably wouldn't last very long if you did much else with your hand, and pulled one foil wrapper out. Quietly uttering his name to get him to open his eyes again, you pushed the condom against Bob's chest. "Put it on."

He didn't reply, didn't need to reply, just followed your instructions and did as he was told. Straightening up again into a kneeling position, he flailed around a little in an attempt to kick his underwear off. You tried not to laugh. When he succeeded, he ripped the packaging open with his teeth and rolled the condom onto himself in one smooth motion. And then he positioned himself over you, notching the tip of his length at your entrance.

He looked down at you for confirmation to go ahead.

You had one last teasing comment. "Your confidence in your size was warranted."

He huffed out a laugh. "I'd be insulted in your lack of confidence if I didn't love you so much."

Warmth bloomed through your chest. It had been implied several times throughout the night but hearing the words come out of his mouth meant so much more. He loved you.

You beamed up at him. "Glad to know that your love for me overrides any possible offence. I'll be using that to my advantage in future. Now please fuck me, I'm going crazy here."

Bob adored the way you were able to flip a conversation so easily. But he was glad you'd said it as he was beginning to experience his own temporary insanity being on the brink of having sex with you but not quite being there just yet.

He pushed into you slowly at first and then all at once, not being able to hold himself back. Once he'd bottomed out he paused for a moment, a choked groan leaving his throat. You whined at the stretch, glad for the previous orgasm prepping you for this.

"Just- just give me a second." Bob warned you, hanging his head as he took deep breaths.

Patiently, you waited.

Thankfully, it didn't take long for him to get a grip of himself as he eased out of you before slamming back in again. You gasped at the sensation. He set a pace, a steady yet almost brutal one. The loud sounds of sex filled the room and you hoped your neighbours were long asleep.

Bob buried his face in your neck, using his elbows to keep himself from smothering you. The noises he let out into your skin were heavenly and you were thankful that they weren't too muffled. You clawed as his back, making scratches that you'd have to apologise profusely for the next day.

"Fuck, harder please. Please harder." You didn't think it was possible for him to go any harder, the way he pounded into you already making the headboard shake, but you begged him to anyway. And somehow he found a way.

Your skin prickled with a burn where he slapped against you, one of his large hands sliding down to grip harshly at the flesh of your ass in order to pull you impossibly closer to him. He continuously hit that sweet spot inside of you, your eyes rolling back in your head at the feeling. The pressure was steadily building in your stomach, getting tighter and tighter with every thrust of Bob’s hips.

You clung onto his shoulders tightly as you plummeted off the edge, your thighs locking in on either side of him to lock him in place. Bob paused his movements for a second, feeling you clench around him as your throat formed a silent scream that came out as a gasp, and only started up again when you relaxed beneath him.

He pulled away from your neck to look down at you, finding a giddy smile on your face. He kissed you, all teeth and tongues, as he pumped into you a few more times before spilling into the condom. And then he collapsed on top of you.

The two of you stayed there for a couple of minutes, both catching your breath.

“I’m glad you had so many failed dates.” Bob whispered into the glistening skin of your chest.

You laughed quietly. “Me too.”

He eased himself up slowly, pulling out of you with a hiss, to dispose of the condom. “Do you think Phoenix purposely set you up on bad dates so you’d admit your feelings for me?”

You thought about it for a second. “Probably. She knows I’ve had a crush on you for forever. And I can’t think of any other good reason that she’d set me up with a sunset hater.”

Bob pulled back the covers on the bed and gestured for you to get in, crawling in beside you. “Can’t believe that guy.”

“I know!” You laughed and turned on your side to look at him. “Wished she’d done it sooner then we could’ve been doing this for a lot longer.”

He joined in on your laughter. “Trust me, we’ll have plenty of time now to be doing this a lot more.”

You smiled. “I’m glad.”

He smiled back. “Me too.”

You scooted closer to each other, limbs tangling together into one big mess, softs words of love exchanged between you as you drifted off into a peaceful sleep in each other’s arms.

A/N: this is the longest thing I think I’ve ever posted as a single thing… hope you enjoyed!

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ohno-the-sun · 9 months

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Spoiler heavy fnaf ruin dlc rant up ahead

I am so fucking proud of steal wool they really took every criticism from the original game and fixed it and even added more

Like Cassie actually acts like a human being?? And like her knowledge of the original characters and cute little comments on every item are so endearing there is so much detail going into this.

The fact that they expanded on one of the fan faves Roxanne and giving her a great arc I’m in love I’m so happy

They honestly gave more depth to all the animatronics too like we finally see Bonnie’s design and get and get a taste as to what happened, also that poster Freddy gifted him I’m crying they are so cute and gay I love them

😭😭😭

Also the whole dark ride section with Monty is so fascinating like is that narrative kind of true or is it just fabricated by fazbear inc to cover up the decommissioning of Bonnie

Why replace Bonnie with Monty?? Why not make a new Bonnie model?? With the prototype label on Freddy it may be confirmed that they make multiple models (well we already kinda knew that with Freddies comments but oh well)

Also Freddy?? Like is that our Freddy or a different one?? They very clearly highlighted the prototype label so they want to emphasize it, but then the head is still missing like in the princess quest ending so what is the truth??

Feel bad for chica fans tho she really was sidelined hard

Aaaaa and my baby boys!!! There’s 3 now aaahaga

I was really not expecting eclipse to be the way they were, very… normal? Is that the right word?? Like obviously a little delusional on when the daycare is gonna open again, but in the right mindset of like this child needs to leave this place is not safe. It is interesting to me that both he and Roxy thought that it was Cassie’s birthday, maybe that was the last day before she left the plex? Or maybe that was the day the plex caught fire? Or maybe most depressingly we are playing on Cassie’s birthday so the animatronics have it in their systems what her birthday is and wish her a happy one (if they are in the right state of mind lol)

Some peeps are upset moon is a little too villainous

I think you can still say it was mainly the virus but I would argue even if it’s not the virus I feel like moon is kinda justified here. Like sun has been shutting him away for a long time before this (if the books are to be believed but also in general) so when he finally gets a chance to roam free of course he’s gonna take it. And idk about u but if my alternate personality was constantly trying to shut me out and I finally got control, I probably too would try and keep my control for as long as possible. Also from what I have seen so far, not even moon is all that aggressive? Like he grabs you at the beginning, but I think that’s just his very ineffective way to get kids to sleep and other than that he just kinda stays away

Poor sunny baby is stuck in the ar world 🥺🥺 I didn’t notice at first but yeah everytime you talk to him it’s only in the ar world. And the end part where you switch them out for eclipse if you do that in the ar world, he says not for me it’s for moon.

I will say though I noticed the voice acting for them changed a little this game, like both have a higher pitch and are more goofy sounding? Like more gremlin energy than evil villainy. I wonder if that was on purpose? Both of them sounded more like the other so maybe that was the reason? Interest interest

Also their mouth moves?? Sort of?? That’s so silly to me they have a whole working mouth system and their face mask doesn’t work with at all 😭

Does give me lore intrigue tho cause like why do their mouths move but not anymore?? Did something happen?? Are they just not maintained enough?? They also move outward instead of up and down (at least from what I saw) so is the mechanism different?

Also the way that sun and moon talk about eachother is so interesting. Like moon says the light hurts “us” and sun says “no the other me” like they seem to almost consider eachother more connected than we first thought, like they’re not just coworkers or strangers they are almost like two sides of the same person. It’s very interesting and I wonder where people will take this.

Overall great job I’m so excited to comb through the game and find every little secret (especially regarding the dca) aaaa

Ok ok update moon does have a jump scare but it’s ridiculously hard to get and I’d still argue he’s not as vicious as he was base game. I mention in another post but eclipse being as kind as he is and being (presumably) a combination of both AIs, gives even more evidence moon is supposed to be kind and caring like his posters suggest but something went wrong. Also Cassie’s comments on their plushes show that there were kids who truly liked the daycare.

#fnaf ruin dlc spoilers #ruin dlc #ruin dlc spoilers #spoilers #fnaf spoilers #ruin spoilers #fnaf dlc spoilers #fnaf ruin #fnaf dlc #sundrop #moondrop #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf #also please please pleas if someone wants to discuss #or just have me rant to them one sidedly #please I’m bursting at the seems aaaa #thoughts

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mapoeggplant · 1 month

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skip to loafer and the "i love you as a person" message

skip to loafer general spoilers

one thing that i'll always be very grateful of skip to loafer is really how they highlight so much the "i love you as a person" mindset — and how that is present in all the narrative, not only on shima and mitsumi's relationship.

this is not only important for the story's target audience, but it also opens the door to a discussion about the value of platonic relationships, which are often "denied" because they are not as "important" as romantic love. and this happens not only when mistumi tells shima that she will like him no matter what happens or who he is — the message spreads to other characters as well.

one of the examples i love most is the moment mika confesses to shima. throughout the chapter, all of her insecurities are exposed and she tirelessly hurt herself saying things like how she doesn't deserve to have someone who likes her in any way (a reflection of the way she was treated throughout her adolescence). this dissolves when shima refuses to throw away the valentine's gift she made especially for him and thanks her for all the care she took with it — an affirmation that her hard work has been recognized and appreciated. this shows mika that she is a person who deserves love and to be valued. for the first time, mika understands that she is being seen as a person, as someone who deserves to be treated well and be recognized.

i know that many people must be thinking that there was an intention for a romantic development in this scene and yes, i agree. after all, mika went to him to confess her feelings. but the way in which the scene was handled makes me think that being seen as a valid person to have feelings was worth much more to her than having her romantic feelings reciprocated — and this, in my opinion, comes back to prominence in chapter 54, when nao, once again, recognizes her pain and connects with it (the appreciation of the "self" when you find someone who understands where you’re hurt).

(...)

(this part wasn't included on the original analysis, but later on I decided to add:

oh my god i was so focused on some very specific scenes for mika that this one slipped my mind and i feel so bad for that! this moment is one of the most important for mika’s development and it also highlight the first time she was seen as a person (by no other than nao). since that day, mika holds nao to a very important place in her heart. i feel that she, at that time, said exactly what mika needed to hear to feel validated and to feel comfortable enough to just go back and spend the night with the girls. if it wasn’t for nao at that time, mika would probably go home and regret ever making this decision — and this ties directly to chapter 54.)

(...)

the second character i want to talk about is yuzuki and all the times he had his identity erased thanks to other people's selfishness.

since the opening of chapter 38, yuzuki talks about how she was always seen as someone whose time was numbered: there was a countdown until the day she achieved "true beauty" and began to be an object of desire, no longer a person. this not only happens thanks to the disgusting adult men that surround you, but also thanks to the friends she tried to make in middle school, one of the most important times of a child’s life, phase where they are beginning to recognize themselves as a person.

yuzuki is simply seen as a object of status to the boys in her class, while to the girls, she’s someone who was only interested in "diminishing others with her beauty" — something she never did, but never even had the chance to defend herself.

Thanks to that, yuzu is forced to grow up without having an identity of her own, but one forced on her, causing her to rebel and refuse to open up to new people. she had her feelings denied, being defended only when there was a sexual/romantic interest in the mix and forced to believe that she was being selfish for denying such a privilege of being "spoiled" and "admired" by everyone, all the time.

yuzu gets her chance to be valued as a person when she enters high school and meets mitsumi and the other girls. she is, for the first time, seen as a person, seen as a yuzuki, seen as someone who has the right to impose herself and be selfish, something she has never been able to be before. her feelings are not diminished or seen as "not valid enough” but most importantly: she’s finally heard.

and then, i think we have one of the most important “i love you like a person” moment: the breakup chapter. chapter 46 is a huge twist to skip to loafer’s romantic narrative, which i myself appreciate a lot. kind of a personal twist here, but it’s a breath of fresh air for someone like me, a demi girl, who always had a little trouble with understanding love when i was their age — and now, basically ten years later, mitsumi’s words not only reached shima, but it also reached me and other thousands of readers who needed to hear something like that.

but well, let’s get back on track. chapter 46 is one of the first times we see shima talking about his past relationship with other people and going a little more in-depth with his relationship with his mom. the core message of it all and the core line that guides all of his personal connections is very simple and highlight why shima have so many trust issues: no one ever saw him as a person, but only as a status object, as someone who was there to be used for their own benefit. shima was used by his mother when she forced him to keep on acting, was used by his peers in a situation a little similar with yuzuki (ofc not completely equal, because we need to remember that gender roles also have a huge influence on how both stories developed (see ririka, for exemple. i have a whole thread on her as well, but this is another topic), when both felt like they were nothing but puppets to the ones around him.

when shima is sitting by mitsumi’s side, he starts to wonder if he really deserves all of that, if he really deserves someone like mitsumi near him. he doesn’t understand his feelings as a whole, because he was never given the opportunity to really explore them and try to dissect it all — this is brought up once again on chapter 53, when he starts to discuss with mukai what it means to love someone in a romantic way (and why loving them as a person isn’t enough on society’s eyes).

he’s not, at any point, using mitsumi or making fun of her feelings. imagine if you were never allowed to think for yourself and then, suddenly, you have the freedom to do so. how does one express something they never had? how does one understand what it means to have a feeling, any feeling, if all they ever felt was guilt?

and that’s when the bigger bomb hits the scene: mitsumi, seeing how troubled he is, shows how important he is and how she values him as a person. it might seem silly to a lot of people, but just hearing someone saying “i will always like you as a person, no matter who you end up being” when all you ever heard in your life was how useless you were, makes you whole world crumble on the spot. he was seen, he was heard, he was understood. mitsumi valued him to the point of assuring him that a romantic relationship wasn’t more important than the platonic one they had. isn’t that beautiful?

to finish it off, i think the conversation the girls have on chapter 57 is also extremely important to the narrative and to the overall message. by not wanting the girls to see shima in a terrible light, mitsumi is, once again, putting their relationship as friends above any other romantic relationship they could have. she shows how much she values him and how much he is important to her — she sees shima as a person, not as an object.

and then, makoto comes to picture with a beautiful speech about how loving someone (any kind of love, not one or another) is to hope that they are happy, content, being taking care of and being comfortable with their own feelings. by forcing someone to feel anything you selfish want, you’re not valuing them as a person with their own feelings and insecurities, but only seeing them as a way to satisfy yourself.

of course, i’m not here to defend everyone and say that they never hurt anyone. yes, shima did hurt mitsumi and she still not completely over it, but she’s way worried with losing him as a friend than forcing something out of a relationship that both don’t feel very comfortable with. mitsumi herself is also someone who is slowly understanding her feelings and understanding what it means to love romantically — but never putting the platonic side aside, since there is no right way to love someone.

thank you so much for reading!! i hope i was clear about the points i was trying to bring up, but i'm always open to discussion!!! 💛

#skip to loafer #skip and loafer #iwakura mitsumi #shima sousuke #mika egashira #yuzuki murashige #nao iwakura #me having flashbacks of my own self discovery #this manga is just a gem #i will never get tired of talking about it #duckmetas #skip to loafer spoilers #skip and loafer spoilers #stl spoilers

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 4 months

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Sun houses and fathers pt2

Yoshitomo Nara

take what resonates, leave what don’t 🎀 you don’t have to necessarily identify with it.

*I use whole sign system -house system- for more certainty

1H: he could be narcissistic? or really confident in how he is or approach to things. In some point of your life he could have been wanting or controlling your life on some way. his family roots have something to do that impacted in your life. he could be described as intelectual and somehow formal, polite? these people could have been raised or influenced by someone who has a strong personality and who’s unpredictable; that’s why suns 1H are more conscious about their environments -and how their attitudes impacted in others-.

4H: your dad could seem distant when’s about to a understanding your mental health or aspects of your life that are seemed as untraditional for him -too specific-. he could be seen as someone who provides for his family, your mom could be a housewife or someone who’s not the “principal provider” -idk how to explain it, someone who doesn’t bring a major amount of money to the family?-. he could be distant and if he observes a problem in the family dynamic, he’ll play dumb? he would only act as someone who provides economic resources. lack of emotional intelligent? or approach to solve an emotional problem. the mom could have being not present in certain way, that’s why your dad could have tried to be both OR your mom could be the one that’s seems more affected by your behavior -take it how would like to-.

8H: he’s a very important and influential person in your life. you could be were you are bc of him -economically, geography, social life, etc-. for example: he moved to the country you were born or he was friends with a family and that’s how you met your wife -too specific ik-. it seems that bc of him you have “everything” in your terms. you could be really thankful and if he died you could smile and laugh while you’re remembering him. he has a unique personality, in every aspect. he may seem secretive, mysterious? there’s something they don’t talk about or they have a serious and intimidating aspect?

2H: the one thing you admire about him is how he manage money, that’s for sure. you could have grown up seeing how your dad works and manage things, his attitude towards material things. your dad could have give you stuff so he won’t feel bad about not having quality time or a continuous son-father dynamic. that’s why the main characteristic that caught your attention was the ethic of work and money management? that he seemed occupied? you lack an emotional security but you have financial security? or you seek security in every aspect bc you felt insecure and your father has something to do with that?

3H: screams something to do with communication. he influenced the way you think/mindset and how you communicate. his siblings are important to him or his family. he could have thought you about brotherhood? about union. also, you could be really perceptive and conscious about the words you use or just conscious about how you can influence others bc of the example you had. your dad could have supported you on the artistic stuff you were interested. also his love language/how he shows he cares is words of affirmations? or does he needs constant reaffirmation or reminders?

7H: your relationship with your father could be really tight. he influenced how you act and think towards relationships in general. that’s why you could think they’re really important or the base of life/your philosophy? you dad could be a dreamer or idealize things continuously or something he did/how he is makes you like that. you could feel pressured by your dad of having ideal friends and partners, to have a balanced life. he could not tell things straightforward/not being direct. he could have a thing for looking presentable and he thought you that constantly.

♡ Based on personal experience and I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astro placements #astro notes #sun #birth chart #7h sun #3h sun #1h #whole sign system

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alexxncl · 14 days

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‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 34 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | lesson 33 | lesson 35

i might be getting ahead of myself here, but are we lilith ?? like is that what's happening rn ??? he's not saying mc's name, and raphael doesn't day their name in the next scene...if so then that's actually really fucking sad 💀

it makes sense though, belphie not wanting mc to go into his head bc he's still clinging to the past and doesn't want to lose them forever like he lost his little sister forever, especially since human life is so finite compared to that of a demon or an angel or a reaper

also it's obvious by his choice of words that despite him looking older, belphie is very, very young in his mindscape, just like mammon was. i feel like this also shows how close mams and belphie are even if it's not shown much on screen in the game, or at least how much belphie takes after mammon's, if not all of his older brothers traits, for better or worse

well nvm...i still think my theory is valid though. belphie wants to go back to his old life and end up not losing lilith, but still have mc with him

i wonder how similar mammon and belphie's bond in the celestial realm is to their bond in the devildom. is belphie still as reluctant to ask for help and advice openly? is the banter still the same? are there less insults? how does the age gap here cause them to treat each other differently if at all? or the lack of angelic status?

oh i'm gonna cry

big brother mammon will always have my heart and i need more of him

we know belphie's love of stars and constellations and the night sky in general started when he was in the celestial realm, and seeing it manifest in mammon in his mindscape makes my heart happy, even if mammon isn't the reason he became interested in astronomy (was it michael? lucifer? idk i don't remember)

i also think it's very interesting how belphie's brain is actively working against him "wanting to hide from mc". he literally said "i don't want you to see the inside of my mind" and is hiding away from them. i think, in reality and in his mindscape, he's running from the fact that he has to face his feelings about the idea of mc leaving to go to the "human realm" and the possibility of losing them forever like he lost lilith

this was (obviously) not beel speaking, but his inner thoughts in the shape and voice of beel. circling back to belphie having the best and worst traits of his brothers, his insecurity and need for reassurance rivals levi's, and we don't get to see it as blatantly because he masks it way better than levi does

ok so we're here in the timeline...interesting. how much time passed between luci and dia's first meeting and the celestial war? how much time had passed between the celestial war and mc's initial arrival to the devildom? how much had belphie aged?

angels and demons age different than humans do, and belphie doesn't feel any older than like...10 or 11 at the most, but beel seems older than that. maybe its his mind warping things to make himself seem and feel younger, but maybe he really was that young. was lilith even born at this point? how old was belphie during the time of the war ?????

also i'm mad we didn't get to see michael bc i wanna know what he looks like but oh well 🧍🏾

oh baby :((((

i'm not the biggest belphie fan AT ALL, at least canon belphie, but i think it's necessary to acknowledge how his trauma severely affects the way he acts. he went from blaming himself, to blaming an entire race of people for his sister's death. he feels like he should've been the one to die, even if it meant leaving his twin without him

now, if he got a proper redemption arc after lesson 16, THEN we could talk. i think the devs fumbled his character in that regard, but my hcs about his redemption will have to suffice for now

he didn't want mc to see this dark part of himself because he hates that he still has this mindset, that he's trapped in a cycle of "what ifs" and wishing it were him instead of her, constantly ruminating and letting his anger and grief fester without ever dealing with it properly and letting himself heal. he not only thinks he doesn't deserve to heal, but that he doesn't deserve to live long enough to see himself heal, that he doesnt deserve to live at all

WHY ARE YOU BEING DIFFICULT????

i mean i knew this would happen since its only lesson 34 and there's still 6 more to go...but damn

i love and hate the fact that he's so smart. like, they could easily just ask barbatos to send them back to the human realm if it was that serious. he's clearly taken a liking to them. lucifer knows something's up, and he won't forge a pact with them until he gets to the bottom of whatever's going on

initially, i thought it was a spell to bring them back since he'd been the one facilitating the trips into the brothers' mindscapes this whole time, but this is wayyy more interesting

i feel like the barbatoses communicate across timelines, or that their lives intermingle with each others' somehow, so whatever they feel for one person in a specific timeline is felt for ever version of them in every timeline. we know barbatos, at the very least, knows that kayden is an important person in the grand scheme of things, whether it be because of the way diavolo feels about them or because they play a large part in the obey me version of a canon event

if it's more than base level importance, we can assume that there's a level of trust and love that barbatos feels for mc that stretches across time (callback to the login screen's dialogue)

maybe he gave us the piece of the grimoire for a reason outside of belphie's mindscape escapades. what if this is how we gain lucifer's trust? if a demon as powerful as barbatos can give mc a piece of his grimoire, then he should be able to make a pact with them, seeing as they're trustworthy enough to be in cahoots with THE time demon

anyways barbatos is nightbringer and you can't tell me otherwise. unless you think it's michael. then i might hear you out...i'm stuck between thinking either of them is the titular character simply because of the simultaneous lack and abundabce of emphasis on michael's importance

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lgbtlunaverse · 7 months

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Life as a JGY stan is so hard because sometimes I want to make posts about the ways his very justified paranoia turns against him sometimes, rare moments where I think being more trusting or vulnerable would have helped but he felt like it couldnt, or talk about how his brutal survival instinct intersects with society's existing bigotries in a such a way that most of his violence is actually aimed at people lower on the ladder than him, with people like Jin Guangshan being the exception not the rule. Because he's a fascinating character and these parts of him are interesting!

But when I do that I have to live in perpetual fear of the moment that it escapes its target audience and someone takes it to go "Yeah he's a monster who fucked over everyone and is incapable of love! I wish he was killed earlier and his death was a thousand times more painful 🤪"

I mean, take my last example. Due to existing hierarchies it is, at any point, easier and safer for jgy to harm people less powerful than him instead of more powerful than him, even if the more powerful are the ones threatening his safety in the first place. Even knowing how it harms him and while working against it, Jin Guangyao is not immune to internalizing the mindset of the world he lives in. Even when killing Jin Guangshan- one man- it ends up costing the lives of 20 sex workers. You think I can bring up the sex workers in this fucking fandom? You think that will go over peacefully? The well has been so thoroughly poisoned here it feels like any conversation around morality automatically turns into a courtroom to determine a sentence for this fictional fucking character who's already dead.

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #complaining and whining about fandom #does fandom even know you can talk about morality in a way that's not adding up good person vs bad person tally points?#i think it's really fucking interesting how jgy is the person who's saved the most common people in the setting with the watchtowers #a politically unpopular move! this was a passion project he made becuase he wanted to help people!#and yet he's not afraid to take advantage of every bit of social capital he painstakingly gains to harm those below him either #i wish! that i could talk about that!#i also haaaate the 'incapable of love' thing on principle #morality is a choice! people don't need to FEEL love or empathy to not harm others #to use it as shorthand for 'evil' is reductive and fucking annoying #people hurt people they love all the time!#fandom does this in a similar way to nmj also. 'oh he can't empathise with other people' NOT THE PROBLEM. HE HAS A VERY DIFFERENT PROBLEM #what characters feel is very important to me from a 'studying blorbo' perspective but not in a debate about whether they're a good person

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year

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By god do I just need to scream into the ether about the Heart and co. confrontation scene.

First, the tension, incredible. Gemini and Fourth are phenomenal actors. Heart and Li Ming know they are walking in to a very emotionally fraught situation and their hesitation is palpable.

It's scene breakdown time babyyyy! Let's start from the beginning

For a boy who admitted last episode that he has no idea what he is doing, he sure keeps doing things right. He's letting Heart know he's going to talk. Now, granted I don't know what he is saying here precisely if he is just simply saying "I'm going to talk for us/first", "I'll interpret," or if he's saying "I'm going to talk?", I don't think his face moves in any way that would imply a question, but his face is partially obscured. Either way he is at the very least keeping Heart in the know, and at the most asking for Heart's explicit consent to lead this conversation. You can't see it from pictures, but I appreciate the fact that before they cut back to the wide shot, Heart nods, so we as an audience, and Li Ming as the speaker here knows that Heart is okay with the power dynamics at play, with Li Ming talking for both of them.

It's a blink and you'll miss it moment, thankfully I'm obsessed with this scene and therefore have been looping it endlessly, but I feel compelled to point out the way eye contact in this moment goes a long way in conveying how Heart's Mom and Li Ming view Heart. When Heart's mother points to her son she doesn't even look at him. The most she does is cast a downward glance at his bandage, and that's before she even points. And you can argue all you want that she doesn't look at him because she's specifically talking to and addressing Li Ming. But I call bullshit on that because Li Ming is specifically talking to and addressing Heart's mother, and he's looking straight in to Heart's eyes when he refers to and gestures towards Heart. I'm sure that both of these characters believe they love and care about Heart, but of these two characters which one actually recognizes Heart's personhood?

But uh oh! Li Ming stood up for himself and for Heart, and talked back to not just an adult, but a powerful adult. And now she's mentioning past debts, and now there will be more to pay as a result. And Li Ming can only work so much with school and life and everything. He clearly doesn't know what he's getting himself in to, or what he has gotten himself in to. Li Ming and Heart's Mom are both getting angry, tensions are rising, something needs to happen to de-escalate the situation or this might go wrong. Uncle Jim absolutely must intervene (I hope you can hear the sarcasm in my voice). Interesting note: Guess who else doesn't look at their child when making a decision for them. Jim does look at Li Ming directly after this though, but it's to ask him why he did it. It's to place the blame for the accident on Li Ming. "You Li Ming, why did you do it?" "Heart asked me to." "Stop saying that."

Jim is scared, Li Ming is pissed. "He was bored at home" "I said stop!" Jim is used to the way powerful and wealthy people can control and punish the poor. Jim and Li Ming have had conversations before that indicate this very mindset. Jim has mentioned power to Li Ming before and Li Ming's response has always been "what, so we just let them?" "He's a police officer so he can just do anything he wants to us?" to a young adult like Li Ming, this is an absurdity, to an older man like Jim, this is a reality. "he can just do anything he wants to us?" the answer is yes. Which is why Jim is so desperate to get Li Ming to stop talking here. But it just serves as a reminder to Li Ming that Jim thinks he's a child, and that he needs all his battles fought for him. If Li Ming doesn't keep pushing, nothing is going to change (social and political commentary anyone?)

"There you go again," Heart's mother says, and this is Li Ming's initial reaction. This moment of annoyance and anger that this woman who doesn't even know him is once again accusing him of something he didn't do. This woman who is pointing once again to her son without even a glance in his direction "You know that he's mute, so you can say whatever you want?" First of all, even people who are mute have ways to communicate, so it's not like even if he was mute Heart would be helpless. Hell, even if Heart was mute he still has fucking sign language.

The face of a woman who was, in fact, not aware that deaf people dislike being called mute.

GUESS WHO FINALLY LOOKS AT HER SON AFTER THAT!!!! Please please if the writers are kind and merciful, this will be the point in the show where Heart's mother does so deep deep introspection and realizes how much she has fucked up. "He's just deaf," Li Ming says, loudly, and he steps forward, to try to engage Heart's mom in further conversation, in more dialogue. And what does Jim do? Pulls him back, takes him off his even footing "I said stop,"

The face of a man who is very scared for the trouble his nephew might be getting himself in to, and the face of his nephew who is very disappointed that his uncle keeps not only backing down, but forcing him to back down as well. Who keeps asking him, in these small ways to lie instead of tell the truth. To remain quiet, to take the blame, to stick to the status quo.

And then the part I hate (emotionally) begins. Heart asks Li Ming to tell him what they're saying. And I hate it because Heart's parents refusing to learn sign language does not only hurt Heart but it hurts everyone around him, themselves included. But specifically here, it hurts Li Ming, because he has to be the one to look Heart in the face and repeat the words his mother said, knowing that to do so will hurt Heart. Knowing that he has to be the one to hurt Heart.

And this moment is also a great reminder for the audience as well that no one else knowing sign language creates really uncomfortable power dynamics between the person who is able to interpret and the Deaf person. Because Li Ming is hesitant to repeat it. Heart has to repeatedly grab his arm, repeatedly ask Li Ming to tell him what was said. Li Ming has absolute power over Heart right now, to refuse to say it, or to flat out lie. He doesn't, but it also should not be Li Ming's decision whether or not Heart knows, accurately, what was said. Even after we see it in his face that Li Ming agrees to translate, he still hesitates for a few seconds to move, to reach for the notepad, to have to write it down.

And once he writes it down, Li Ming's eyes do not leave Heart. He is honed in on Heart, on Heart's face, on his shoulders, hell even on the back of his head until Heart asks him to translate. And god as much as I hate this moment in the scene for the pain that it causes Li Ming, I hate it even more for the pain that it causes Heart.

He is fucking livid. Rightfully so, because HE'S NOT FUCKING MUTE, HE'S HAD LANGUAGE THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME. He just wants to live his life like everyone else AND HE HAS TO TELL HIS PARENT'S THAT USING SOMEONE ELSE'S VOICE. Because they have refused to use his own. GOD. I'll be surprised if anyone makes it this far down in the post but I just...AHHHH I have no coherent thoughts about this moment, I just....Heart's parents do fucking better. Damn. And the worst part of this scene is yet to come because his Mom tries for like 0.2 seconds, but it looks like she's going to start signing something and Heart just looks SO surprised.

He's so focused on it, he's paying so much attention to it. Is this it? Is this the moment he finds out that his mother has actually been trying? That she has learned and is ready to start using sign language with him? To talk to him, to understand him?

No.

She can't do it. She doesn't know how to. And it's just..it's so easy to see how much hope he had for just a second, how much that one millisecond of effort obliterated all the logic in his head that told him they didn't know it, they didn't care. And how quickly that disappointed anger snaps right back in to place. So Heart starts talking, in sign language, like he has been able to do for years, and he speaks his mind, and his mother still can't understand him. And we see the same dynamic here as with the "mute" comment. Heart's Mom wants Li Ming to translate, Heart wants Li Ming to translate, Li Ming knows how hurt Heart is, and yeah, probably some of his hesitation in voicing what Heart said is because he knows what Heart said will hurt her. But more so because I think it hurts Li Ming to know how much pain Heart is in.

God, poor Heart, literally having to beg to be heard.

"He said you are ashamed of him being deaf,"

His mother shakes her head and says "Heart, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say, dear," and therein lies the problem. She doesn't know what to say, she never has. She has never bothered to learn how to communicate with him since he went deaf. She has kept him locked away. And it doesn't matter if she thinks she did that to keep him safe, Heart feels like he's being hidden away. And she doesn't say "No. No I'm not ashamed. I have never been ashamed." she doesn't know what to say. Because she can't say that. She can't deny that, and it just confirmed everything that Heart has known. So he leaves, because that's too much to handle.

Bullshit 'he'll be fine, honey'. Your fucking son just told you that you never bothered to learn sign language in THREE FUCKING YEARS, and stormed away after admitting that he feels like you are ashamed of him, and you think no need to go after him, he'll be fine??? Fuck you. ACAB.

Does this...

look like...

he's fine, to you?

No. I didn't think so.

I don't really feel like I need to say much about this last shot. It stands on its own so strongly. Mirrors reflecting back, Heart and Li Ming only ever being able to see each other, to be seen by each other. Warm light at Heart's back, Li Ming in front of him, sandwiched between warmth in all of that blue, isolating coldness. All that evidence of how much time and the energy Heart has spent learning sign language. I don't know what the post-its say, I don't know that I want to know.

I don't know if they are notes Heart has written to himself when he was learning, and this is just what remains of his effort. Honestly I hope it's that, because if it is what I think it is, general, every day responses that he might have to give in reply to his parents that he can just pull off his wall and return, that is so much fucking worse. Because then its just the evidence of all the effort Heart has put in to communicate with his parents on their level when they have not put in the same effort to communicate on his. Even if it's something cute, even if it's all the notes that he and Li Ming have passed back and forth to each other over the last few months, serving as a reminder that someone cares, you still are left with the heartbreaking shot of two young men, desperate to be understood by their families, only having each other to hold on to, surrounded by reminders that they are the only two people that can understand each other. No matter how hard they try.

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keiriiz · 10 days

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Chrollo Relationship/Romantic Headcanons

Now for these headcanons, this is where my opinion might really differ from the rest of you guys. Of course this isn’t all but just some of my favorites. I will be putting a clear NSFW warning for when I start to talk about him in bed. 🔞

I do want to add that some of my headcanons would change depending on his partner. If they’re a Nen-user or not, exactly what their ability is, if they’re in the Phantom Troupe, and how long he’s known them, etc. These are just as neutral as possible haha. Even some of what I say here contradicts how I’ve written him in certain ships because I knew exactly how he would act for those specific love interests.

✥ Right of the bat, Chrollo is bi-romantic, having very little preference of gender when it comes to his s/o. And sexuality wise, he’s definitely on the demisexual spectrum.

✥ Chrollo never really planned on being in a long term relationship or ever settling down with someone when he created the Phantom Troupe. It was just another aspect of life he was prepared to sacrifice. So giving a genuine relationship a shot he’d have to really love the other person.

✥ It would take forever for Chrollo to actually recognize he was feeling romantic attraction to another person as the entire thing is foreign to him.

✥ This man’s charisma goes out the drain when trying to flirt with someone he’s genuinely interested it. Tapping his fingers as a stim while he awkwardly flirts. It’s painfully adorable.

✥ Before making things official, he may do extensive research on his s/o. Background checks, verifying friends and family members, overall borderline stalking. It’s a safety measure. He doesn’t want to risk falling for someone who works for an opposing group or who might betray him.

✥ In a relationship, his s/o would be a source of comfort, especially if the relationship is long term. He’ll relax in their arms after a heist or cuddle up to them when he has a nightmare.

✥ I said in my last post but I’ll say it again here. Chrollo is a little spoon!

✥ It’s not too often Chrollo will verbally tell someone he loves them, his main ways of showing affection are quality time, and gift giving. And for his special someone, he wouldn’t just give them random things willy-nilly, he’d put thought behind each one. Say his partner mentions needing new shoes because their current ones are really worn out. You bet next time Chrollo sees them he’s bringing two pairs of brand new shoes.

✥ He loves to be able to lay his head in his s/o’s lap and have them play with his hair while he reads. He might even purr if given the right setting.

✥ Chrollo can be touch avoidant in general. If anyone touches him and he hasn’t given that person mental permission he will move away, shudder even. So if he’s actually allowing another in his space it really is a sign of fondness.

✥ This man definitely takes notes from romance novels he’s read when it comes to dates with someone he’s head over heels for. It can be cheesy.

✥ Chrollo isn’t a chef by any means but on occasion he’ll attempt to cook for his s/o when staying in. Might as well put some of his cook books to use after all.

✥ The times Chrollo is with his partner, things can be quite pleasant. However he can still be emotionally distant. He often wonders what he did to deserve all of this. To be able to love and be loved. It’s a mental battle he might struggle with quite often in the relationship and he wouldn’t be too open to communicating that, leaving his s/o confused. Just some general reassurance could go a long ways.

✥ I feel like a lot of people go for the idea that he’d like others with similar interests or are like him in general, and I could see potential in that mindset however I much prefer the “opposites attract” trope. I think Chrollo might have a bigger interest in someone different than him who can really show a different perspective on certain things. Or even test his mindset and show him new interests.

✥ He’s protective of his s/o, knowing with the life he has, anyone might try to hurt them to get to him so Chrollo wouldn’t be one to really “show off” his partner unfortunately. They relationship could be pretty private.

✥ Assuming his s/o isn’t in the Troupe, Chrollo may ghost them while he’s away on the job. He’ll let them know he’s working, but no calls or texts while he’s away. He won’t even give a location. He wants to keep his personal life separate and doesn’t want to risk revealing to an enemy his relationship or possibly get distracted.

NSFW BELOW ‼️

✥ Before the relationship, Chrollo didn’t really like sex (as I mentioned him being demi), he viewed the act as a chore used on jobs to get information and didn’t find it all that gratifying.

✥ With his s/o, Chrollo much prefers to make love as opposed to casual sex. He likes the intimacy of being with someone he truly loves and not just an act of pleasure.

✥ He prefers bottoming though is open to being a verse. Acting as Boss all the time he really just likes to relax in his personal life so in all honesty it wouldn’t be rare to catch him being a pillow prince in bed.

✥ Chrollo’s not the biggest cock wise, probably just reaching average. He’s uncut being from Meteor City but trust and believe he keeps that shit clean with his pubic hair trimmed.

✥ He’ll almost never out right ask for sex, he’s honestly fine if his partner doesn’t have any interest in the act either. Though if they make a move he’s more than happy for a session.

✥ He’s got VERY sensitive nipples. Give them a little tug with your teeth and he’ll mewl.

✥ Aftercare is always a given between him and his s/o. If Chrollo just got done bottoming, cuddles and praise are a must. He’d especially melt if given a massage.

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enavstars · 3 months

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can u also give us fic recs? i wanna read your fic but it's long hdhwhsjs

wanna be in the right mindset

so do u have any?

Here are some fics that I really liked because I thought they were interesting. I loved the way the characters are written, most of them are Kai centered, angst (check the tags for any triggers) and short. Also these are some we used as reference for the characterization of the ninja in Eclipse.

(idk how many recs you wanted so I put a lot)

They turn the light on and it's burning up the sky by Sugarglider_s : very short and poetic Kai analisis angst fic. Absolutely love the way it's written and the interpretation of Kai's character.

Hello my old heart by Bemmiecake : this is a long unfinished fic centered around Kai in the timeskip between seasons 3 and 4. I had to add it because it is definitely one of my favourites, this fic has made me emotional multiple times. It's heartbreaking how Kai has to go through his awful coping mechanisms as the Red Shogun and how he ends up finding a sliver of hope in the process. It also features a well built oc!

What gets out comes around by fruitcasket : this one is Cole centric but explores some contradictions of his character mostly with his relationship with Kai, how despite being a kind soul he acts as a bully towards him quite often.

Too familiar by Maplebreeze : Oneshot about Kai realizing him and Lloyd had similar experiences. Basically RG brothers fluff with some hurt.

Alike, alone by fruitcasket : Morro possesses Kai fic but it’s focused on Kai and Morro’s interactions and similarities rather than actions. It does some character analisis and dives into their mentality.

All of the work, none of the money by ADHDplusCartonnmakesCHAOS : Fic about the ninja learning about Kai and Nya’s childhood. There are many fics exploring this theme but this one is my favourite so far, talking about the subtler things like how costly pads are when you're already short on money to eat.

Fight by Maplebreeze : It describes perfectly how Kai would lose himself to violence (as one of his awful coping mechanisms) again and again and again, to distract his heart from all of those close to him he couldn't save (up until Possessed)

Guilt by Cherry_dynamite : On this fic we finally get closure with Lloyd addressing the fact that he did not see Kai's survival guilt back in the slither pit.

Boiling Point by Salty_Pickle_Bones : It is about Kai and the team being wrecked by Nya's death. It shows just how lost Kai has become, how he's going down the alcoholic rabbit hole again.

Off the deep end by Kiss_The_Cook : Set in the first season when Lloyd is a kid living with the ninja. Kai refuses to get close to Lloyd, despite Lloyd admiring him, because he knows he and Lloyd will get attached to each other and Kai thinks it would be very bad for the kid to do so. Brothers fluff (and some angst), I love how Kai’s mentality is portrayed and of course little Lloyd.

Aftermath by Sugarglider_s : Fluff opposite oneshot. Not really related to the rest but I love it and made a comic about it -> link here.

Feel free to recommend any other fic you like. We are especially interested in those that analyze the characterization of the ninja in depth, more specifically any other character besides Kai (pls let us know, especially ones about Jay, we’re struggling with writing him).

Side note: I know there aren’t many Kai and Nya fics so recommend ones focused on them too pls.

#ninjago #fanfic #fanfic recommendation

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typellblog · 8 months

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The limits of ‘I can fix her’ mindset; or, Why Emiya Shirou is the protagonist

Here's a kinda improptu analysis post created because I wanted to complain about a meme, but I can hopefully use that as a jumping-off point to talk about some interesting parts of FSN as a whole.

Here’s the meme in question. The phrases chosen in each case do bear some superficial similarity to the events of each route, so I won’t fault anyone for just sharing it for the funny, but if you think about it for 5 seconds the whole thing collapses.

For starters, why are the routes backwards? If anything, Saber’s route establishes a dynamic of Shirou trying to ‘fix’ heroines, which is then subverted in UBW (note the parallel date scenes).

But I don’t think ‘fix’ is the correct term in the first place. I would say the shared theme of all FSN’s routes is that Shirou gains self-worth through his attempts to save each girl.

We can see this in the Fate route, where Shirou ends up proud of himself for having loved Saber. He is grateful for the emptiness in his heart that allows him to so easily devote himself to other people, because he wants to devote himself to her.

The hole inside of him is filled by a real, actual person, rather than simply a vague ideal from Kiritsugu. It’s something that he can be happy about, rather than something he bears out of self-castigation and to escape from his past.

Much has been made of their mutual recognition of their own flaws in each other – the way they really do attempt to fix each other - but it should be noted that this is not ultimately successful. Saber is, in some sense, saved in the basement scene, but not from the path of kingship. Shirou can’t give her a life as an ordinary girl because he recognises that the thing about her he finds the most beautiful is that very self-sacrificial and uncompromising nature.

They recognise their own flaws in each other, but, just as importantly, they realise their own virtues in each other. Saber sees in Shirou the way she was when she had just pulled the sword out of the stone. Shirou sees in Saber the end of a life pursuing the same unreachable dream – and finds it dazzling.

The implication of Last Episode is that Shirou never stops trying to be a hero, never settles down to a normal life, never gives up on his dream – because his dream is embodied in Artoria herself. She disappears, at the end of the Fate route, but her effect on him remains forever.

I cannot possibly call this a healthy relationship. They did not fix each other, they just realised they were broken in exactly the right ways to slot together.

Saber is a sword, and she perfectly slides into Shirou, her sheath. You could argue they suit each other the best of all three pairs.

But this site is already full of Saberheads, and honestly that part of the meme is the least inaccurate, so let me get into the juicier bit.

Now, Rin tries to fix Shirou in Unlimited Blade Works, she absolutely does. She takes a very proactive approach to it – but what are the results? Shirou still commits to his path of becoming a hero of justice. He says he’ll repeat Archer’s actions despite knowing the result. He says he won’t regret it, and perhaps not, but the habit of self-sacrifice hasn’t disappeared. What he gains from Rin is, again, a sense of self-worth to go along with it.

One of the best scenes in UBW takes place right after Illya’s death. Rin questions what the fuck is wrong with Shirou, jumping in to try and save her like that. Did Kiritsugu do something to him when he was rescued from the fire? Why is his brain so broken?

Shirou has been wondering about a similar thing himself. He’s always had a vague sense of uncertainty about his ideals of heroism. It’s why Archer’s presence bugs him so much, why he can’t provide a convincing counterargument to anything the man says.

But Rin here, seriously worried about him, has provided the answer. It’s because the people who care about him would be sad if he was hurt. His life actually has some value.

And recognising that, he says, ‘Sorry, Tohsaka,” and continues down the same path.

Tohsaka Rin is always a struggle to talk about, because you can quite easily see her as either a victim of patriarchy with severe emotional repression issues, or a Strong Independent Woman who can handle most problems on her own.

Both can be true, of course, but I’d argue that if you look at the VN as a whole (specifically Heaven’s Feel), the latter is deliberately shown to be a façade she has been putting on for so long that she’s forgotten how to take it off. It’s why Sakura at times finds her so unsympathetic and why it’s so vitally important for her to try and sympathise anyway. They both suffered terribly as a result of Tokiomi’s decisions – Sakura perhaps more so, but Rin still had her entire family taken from her as a young child.

But in any case, reading UBW in this light makes it clear that she really does need Shirou, perhaps as much as he needs her. When he describes her as the kind of person who always gets back up and gets even with her enemies, that’s what gives her the motivation to do precisely that.

To her, Shirou is a strange and intriguing person, capable of sticking with tasks that he knows are impossible. She admires that quality, and we notice her developing it herself throughout UBW as she follows Shirou’s example to continue fighting as a Master despite losing her Servant.

Rin and Shirou end up having significant mutual influence on each other, without changing the core of who they are as characters. Nowhere is this better demonstrated than the end of UBW, where they are faced by simultaneous dilemmas. Rin chooses to try and save Shinji from the Grail, despite knowing her chances of success are very low, while Shirou chooses to stand his ground and not fling himself into the abyss with Gil.

In this way, Rin displays in part Shirou’s self-sacrificing nature and pursuit of impossible odds, while Shirou must avoid throwing his life away at the first opportunity and choose to live for the sake of potentially reuniting with Rin and his other family.

Archer is the one that bails them out in the end, the best and worst of them both.

Shirou and Rin’s dynamic is an interplay between selflessness and selfishness. They leave a drop of each in the other like Yin and Yang, the twin swords Kanshou and Bakuya.

You could argue that they balance each other out the best of all three pairs.

And finally, some brief commentary on Sakura. She’s put first in this stupid meme, treated as the most obvious and easy to understand of the heroines, ascribed the least agency with regards her relationship with Shirou. She was broken, and then he fixed her. The end.

The thing is, this interpretation isn’t entirely wrong. Sakura is a very passive character (we see what it looks like when she finally takes action in HF. It isn’t pretty and she knows this.)

Shirou is driven by Sakura, his actions all revolve around protecting Sakura, but what does Sakura herself actually do?

I would posit that this is a coward’s question. Sakura doesn’t need to do any more than she already does in order to spur Shirou to protect her. Heaven’s Feel is about Shirou realising what Sakura has already been doing for him, what Sakura already means to him, the implications of what Sakura has been dealing with this whole time. We’ve had two whole routes to get used to her and now the rug’s come from under us!

I think you can critique Sakura’s lack of agency in her own route, but what I want to point out is that she nonetheless has the greatest impact on Shirou of any of the heroines.

Because, and this is really the worst oversight in that whole meme, Shirou gets fixed in HF far more substantially than the prior two routes. Gaining self-worth through saving others, remember? FSN is a cumulative experience, we learn more about Emiya Shirou with each route, and this is the one that we learn his ideal has been a lot simpler than he thought this whole time. He simply wants to protect the people close to him.

His love for Sakura and, importantly, her love for him, is what gives him the desire to live. He realises that his life has value because she cares about him, and if he wants to save her, he needs to save himself too.

Fate/Stay Night is the story of Shirou, a sword, learning to become a human. You could argue that Sakura helps him accomplish this the best out of all three pairs.

Now, considering Illya’s role in this . . . will have to wait for another time. Augh. You just wait, I've been laying the groundwork here.

#fate/stay night #emiya shirou #fsn analysis

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