#i love the disabled community and i care for each and every one of you in one shape or form

[pax-has-thoughts]

Anytime someone mentions "quality of life" I want to scream. Disabled people's lives are of quality. You don't need to devalue us to acknowledge our struggles. Stop telling people their lives aren't worth living if they can't be lived the way society expects.

#i know a lot of disabled people do feel like life isnt worth living because of our disabilities #i feel that way sometimes #its hard #but your life does have value #no matter how much you struggle #you are loved and valued #even if you dont feel like it #i know i love you #i love the disabled community and i care for each and every one of you in one shape or form #pax's thoughts #actually disabled #disabled #disability

[atierrorian]

| Glad it's you | — R.H

PARING: Rook Hunt x Deaf!reader

SYNOPSIS: All your entire life, you knew silence. But—it isn't as bad as people make it out to be. Because even with your biggest flaw, he still chose you.

˗ˏˋGENRE ´ˎ˗ — Romance, fluff, angst/comfort

˗ˏˋCW ´ˎ˗ — Rook is already a warning. Ooc, mentions of bullying, stalking(It's Rook, duh) horrible poetry.

˗ˏˋNOTES ´ˎ˗ — Wow! It has been a while and I am so sorry for not making anything in quite some time, I've become so busy nowadays that writing has barely crossed my mind, so I'll make most of my free time writing this!

✎| Masterlists|Navigation |

♡ "Are you really willing to accept me?" ♡ "I've accepted you a long time ago."

People always pitied you for as long as you can remember now. Frequently assuming it must be hard not being able to hear. And yeah, sometimes—but it isn't as bad as they make it out to be, if anything, you find solace in the silent world you have lived in all your life. Sure, there were times when it was hard to understand people, especially if they didn't know sign language.

Luckily, you mostly used poems to interact with them. Though, it was amusing to see them struggle to grasp your poems—that's what makes it fun anyway.

And so, making use of your skills, you swiftly wrote down another poem for a certain hunter. He's one of the few people you've known who could actually decipher what your poems meant. And it's not to say each and every time you show him your masterpiece, he always seems to be on your level when it came to writing back to you.

It always makes you feel giddy inside when he writes back to you. Re-reading every syllable. Caressing the ink that was clearly carefully written with such consideration with each word he used, you couldn't help but feel as though he was hinting to you about something.

You scoffed; shaking the thought away. Who were you trying to fool? This was the Rook Hunt you were thinking about! He's like this with everyone. Besides—why would he go for someone who had a defect? To say the least, you weren't insecure with your disability but, thinking about the blonde hunter who seemed to always cross your mind whenever you wrote—you couldn't help but feel your heart tightening in your chest from such thoughts.

In the end, why would he choose you? You're nothing special, far from it anyway. You're just someone who could never hear and someone who just writes to communicate. But, even then, you were still wrapped around his fingertips. And besides—it doesn't hurt to hope, right?

You felt a hand placed on your shoulder, you froze. You had never stayed still like a statue so fast in your entire life until now. What? Millions of thoughts were racing through your mind right now—was it another of the students who were here to once again chuck balled up papers again? Take your poems away from you and ripped them to pieces or flames it until there's nothing left but ashes?

"Awww, what's this? Another one of your silly stories?"

"Look! It's another one of their love poems!"

"Pathetic if you ask me."

You didn't focused on them, you never even knew what they were saying, and you could care less what insults or degrading comments they were spewing from their filthy mouth. Your knees on the ground while clutching onto what was remains of the paper you once cherished. And they tore it all up like it was nothing.

Shuddering from the memory, you closed your eyes and continued to look at your lap; prepared for whatever torture they were gonna do to you again. Tore your poems? Throw paper at you? Mocking at you while you cry in tears because they had nearly killed you? What else did they had in store for you?

You gripped the paper even harder, shutting your eyelids even tighter if that was even possible. You were scared.

Huh.

You felt a piece of paper slid onto your lap, hesitantly, bit by bit, you forced your eyes to open to see what it was. Was it an insult written in a letter? If so, then you're surprised that they were even intelligent enough to finally realized that you had a hearing disability instead of using their vocals to try and insult you.

But no, it was not anything you expected or thought. Instead, your vision was blessed with a familiar handwriting. Subconsciously, you read what was was written on the white letter that graced your sight, and goodness it always doesn't fail to make your blood rushing through your face. By the sevens, how does he always make you feel this way?

Why such a blue face? You don't need to be ashamed of such a heartache; If you need someone to wipe your tears, my heart will gladly volunteer; What you consider flaws, is what I consider perfection —

Mon Cherie, you are the belle of my dairy heart, You, sweetheart, have me wrapped around your fingertips; I will never let go of the string that wraps around my wrist; That connects me, to you.

My heart beats loudly; even you could hear it— If your heart longs for anything, Mon cherie, just write to me; And tell me all your silly sorrows. -Rook Hunt

Though it was short and simple, you couldn't help but re-read the words every now and then. You smiled seeing the words written on the paper. How could you not? His words sweet like candy, it was addicting in a way even you were worried you wouldn't get enough of it. Or maybe it's too late for you.

Your heart started racing so fast you thought even you could hear it. The more you examined the poem the more it started to look like a love confession. But it couldn't be that, could it? You so badly wanted to hope that you had a chance but you didn't want to get your hopes up.

You, sweetheart, have me wrapped around your fingertips.

Those lines, shit, you couldn't help but swoon over them. Clutching the poem, you finally gazed at the author with wonders and hope. He smiled at you and signed those three words you've been waiting to see.

"I love you."

Was it even possible for your heart to be beating faster than it was before? You held the poem closer to your beating heart, trying to conceal it; worried he might hear it. It felt like your heart was about to leap out of your chest. You sighed dreamily and thanked your heart for choosing him.

Meanwhile, Rook chuckled seeing your flustered expression. He found beauty in all things whether it was considered good or bad to others. But he found you the most beautiful of them all. He won't lie, he fell for you hard when he saw you. Because even when he learnt about your flaw, it didn't matter to him; you were still the fairest of them all. You weren't able to hear his words—but that's alright; he'll gladly write thousands or more letters if it meant to show you just how much he loves you.

He'd gladly and happily dance in hot and burning shoes if it meant to show you his devotion to you, just to show how much he cares for you. And if anyone were to make you doubt? Let's just say they wouldn't be coming closer to you anymore if they caused you pain. But before that, he'd come and comfort you, with words written on paper just so all your worries would go away.

Even if his fingers start to go numb and bruises appear, he won't stop until he finally sees you smile. He's glad that his heart chose you.

END

Wow! Uhm, heyy ik it's been awhile but I finally found enough inspiration to make this! Again sorry it's been awhile I've been so busy that I barely found any time to write at all, but I do hope you guys liked this!

#atier's works✎ #rook hunt x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst fluff #twst scenario

[pickypickypeak]

So I FINALLY got the art of wish book which is so so good and? I’m honestly a little surprised that the only things that got leaked online were the starboy and evil amaya concepts when it’s literally filled with gems? Here’s a few but first let me tell you, the art alone makes it worth it. It’s amazing

THE HAMLET! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE HAMLET!! Apparently in an early draft Asha and her community had left Rosas and started living hidden in the forest so their wishes could be safe from Magnifico. This hidden place was called “The Hamlet” and it still exists in the final movie, though it’s just a part of Rosas and doesn’t have the original lore. I really hope this trope gets reused for a future Disney movie because it’s a really cool concept!

Live action Valentino??

Some Sakina dump because I love her (also meet Tomás)

Oh and you know the wishing tree in the movie? It’s based on Walt Disney’s own actual wishing tree?? Wtf???

Also there’s a whole 2 pages about Dahlia explaining how much effort and care were put into her creation as a character with a disability. They actually had consultants making sure that ANY form of representation felt authentic and positive. They did not just made the cast multi-ethnic, they actually did their research so that any culture was well portrayed, all the way to the littlest details like textures on their clothing or even each character’s way of greeting.

And about the animation not being fully 2D… Haters conveniently forget mentioning that the movie is expressly made to celebrate both the past AND future of WDAS. Then like it or not, but you can’t possibly celebrate all of Disney without CGI animation. CGI is also Disney. Tangled and Frozen and Moana became instant Disney classics. I would die for a traditional animated movie, but when you put it this way, it makes perfect sense to me that they went with hybrid style for this movie specifically. It just feels right.

Also going through these pages… you just feel the love the producers and animators put in every single reference to older classics. Animation techniques were literally inspired by actual frames from Snow White, Pinocchio, Fantasia, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Peter Pan. So were coloring techniques, lighting, cinematography… There was a breathing effort of paying homages to these movies with tremendous talent in them, while also creating something new. So hate on this movie as much as you want, but mind you calling it “AI-made”. It’s not. It’s made by humans.

Oh, and finally, Starboy. Well, yeah, I fell for it. People literally made it all up. There’s zero indication that he was gonna be Asha’s love interest, let alone be the one singing At All Costs instead of Magnifico. From what the book says (there’s literally two short paragraphs about him, before Star comes in) I think they didn’t even have a plot then, they were just exploring ideas and made some brainstorming sketches deciding how Star could have been. Same with evil Amaya! That one pic that leaked of her with Magnifico is all we got. There’s no indication that it was gonna be “a better movie” because there is no plot for that lol

#wish #wish disney #wish 2023 #the art of wish #disney #asha #king magnifico #queen amaya #star wish

[maximumsass]

Green Eyes of Envy Pt. 4

Synopsis: It’s yours and Mel’s first happy hour with the Abbott crew as a couple. You still haven’t told anyone but of course are discretely touching and glancing at each other every chance you get. But of course the night doesn’t go quite as planned and you have to decide whether you’ll defend the redhead’s honor or if you hold back and let her defend yours. Let’s just say it gets physical possibly in the good way and the not so good way. What will go down at the Abbott happy hour, keep reading to find out!

Author’s Note: Hi my lovely fanfic village! So I was inspired to write this because we all know how Melissa is already ready for a fight but what happens when the situation arises where she could fight for the reader or the tables are turned and the reader fights for her. I think it’s an interesting story because so far we’ve seen the really sweet, petite, cutesy, and caring reader and this possibly puts the reader into a don’t fuck with me or my girl role. But will Melissa even allow that??!! It was a lot of fun for me to write. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Let me know what you think! And please send me any requests that you have! Lots of love and all da hugs! 💜

Warning: I use handicapped as a slur. I want to preface this by saying that I am not trying to offend anyone or upset anyone. Please don’t come for me or cancel me. I promise I mean no one any harm. I myself have several physical disabilities, so I’m seriously not trying to upset the disability community. I’m purely using it for the plot. I hope y’all understand.. Also SMUTT and of course as always FLUFF!

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Word Count: 3.75K

You and the Abbott crew had gone out for drinks after school. It had been a few weeks since Mel had ended things with Gary. You and the redhead were trying to take things slow but given the fact that you two couldn’t keep your hands off of each other whenever you were alone together made it very challenging to say the least. Okay fine…you two had participated in some adult extra cirricular activities. But hey as we teachers say it has helped make us well rounded individuals in that aspect of our lives.

You both are on high alert to keep the PDA to the barest of minimums in front of your coworkers. You feel Melissa’s hand intentionally slide down your back, making sure not to miss your butt, and dropping her hand right next to yours and hooking her pinky with yours.

You give her a big smirk and chuckle quietly to yourself. “Hi I’ll have a Sour Monkey and she’ll have a Victory classic, please. And then whatever else she orders, please put in on my tab.” You hand the bartender your card and smile. “Thanks so much, I appreciate you.” You say to the bartender as she hands you your drinks. You hand the redhead her drink and lift up your own. “To having a great night with the most gorgeous woman in the world. Cheers.” You say as you look at her with immense affection.

“Cheers pretty girl.” She says to you with a big cheesy grin on her face as she squeezes your hand as you clink glasses.

“What’s got you smiling so big Melissa? I didn’t even know you were capable of looking like that!” Ava teases as she slides in beside us.

“None ya business!” The redhead quips at Ava, the big smile totally gone, replaced by her infamous today is not the day and I am not the one death glare.

Ava looks at the redhead cleary trying to decide whether to poke the bear more or not. To keep that from happening you jump in with a funny antidote that happened with one of your kiddos this week. And thankfully the conversation stays civil. You are trying to pay attention to what’s being said and throw in your two cents here and there but you can’t take your eyes off of Jessica Rabbit, it’s like you’ve been hypnotized and whenever you’re even in the same vicinity as each other your brain turns to silly putty and you become this little drooling love sick puppy. It makes you cringe just admitting that to yourself.

You hear a deep loud voice in the background and it snaps you back into reality. You look around and you see Gary talking to Gregory. Weird you think to yourself, maybe it’s just a coincidence that he’s at this bar. You look at him a few more seconds before focusing your attention back on Ava and Melissa.

“There you are!” Gary exclaims to Melissa. He has somehow managed to get right next to her. “I just wanted to come and see for myself.”

All three of us have a what the hell is he talking about look on our faces.

“What are you talking about Gary?” Melissa asks in an exasperated tone.

“Well I have people who have been telling me they’ve seen you around with someone. And I just had to come see for myself. And here she is right in front of my very eyes. You picked a handicapped bitch over me. Figures you’d pick a charity case for your next go around.” He practically declares to the whole bar.

You scoff in disbelief that this is actually happening right now. “Ava, hold this for me please.” You say as you take off your earrings and hand them and your ring to her. “Excuse me, what did you just call me?” You say as you cut in between him and Melissa and give him a little shove to get him away from her. You step towards him with your arms crossed. Gary looks stunned at what you’ve just done.

“What’s that matter? Are you just now realizing how offensive what just came out of your mouth was? Oh my gosh I just remembered what you said. I believe you called me a handicapped bitch who’s Melissa’s charity case. A very colorful description if I do say so myself. But here’s the thing just like you just stated she picked the handicapped bitch of a charity case over you, and I bet that just nearly demolished any ego that you had about yourself. Here’s the other thing big guy she’s been screaming my name every night since she left you…how long has that been? Oh yeah three weeks. And I bet it made you feel really proud of yourself when you got her to do that with you that one time. So I’d say when we compare the two, she made the right choice to choose the handicapped bitch of a charity case. You’ve seen us, now get the fuck out of this bar. And I advise you to not use that disgusting, hateful language towards anyone else.” You say inches away from his face.

You turn to walk back to your place at the bar when you hear him go. “What did you even just say to me? I didn’t understand a word.” And then proceeds to talk gibberish as he imitates your speech impairment.

Meanwhile back at the bar Melissa is squaring up Ava.

“Melissa, I’m not denying that I’m scared of you because we both know I am, but I have several inches on you and will use them. If you try to get involved in what’s going on over there. I cannot have two of my people getting involved in a bar brawl, especially a beloved veteran teacher such as yourself.” Ava says quietly to the redhead while getting as close as possible to her in case she needs to grab her if she tries lunging towards you and Gary.

“You heard what he just said to her, he needs to know that no one talks to her like that and lives to see another day!” Melissa exclaims with fury in her eyes and she is about to do whatever it takes to make Gary pay.

Thankfully Barb magically appears by Melissa’s side. “You need to get ahold of yourself and walk away. I don’t know what is going on between you and (Y/N) but the way you two have been making love eyes at each other for weeks now I assume has something to do with why she’s taking on Gary. She’s made her bed and now she has to lie in it, the best thing for you to do is to come with me so that you are able to take care of her when this chaos ends.” Barb says in a low voice so only Melissa can hear. Despite the fury boiling in her right now, Melissa knows that Barb’s right and she goes still and lets the brunette lead her to the other end of the bar.

You pause and scoff to yourself and then you are not in control anymore and you see red, you whip back around and proceed to punch him as hard as you can square in the jaw and he immediately drops to the floor. You scramble to him and straddle his chest as one hand is on his throat and the other is gripping his face forcing him to look at you. “Stay the fuck away from her! Got it big guy?!” You scream at him. You push his face away forcefully as you get off of him and stand up and take a few steps out of his reach. You look around you, it’s like the bar had frozen in time, everyone in the bar was staring at you in a collective look of disbelief, and silence that covered the place like a gray smog.

“Sorry for the commotion y’all. I will just close out my tab and let y’all enjoy the rest of your night.” You announce to the bar, you hold up your hands to gesture you mean no harm.

You walk back to your place at the bar. “I’m so sorry about what happened. Honestly I wasn’t on planning on getting physical with the guy. But whew he took me back to childhood trauma with the playground bullies. And as Mel says my fight or fight response was triggered and I guess that was the end result. I totally understand if you don’t want me to come back, and I will respect that.” You say to the bartender as you tip and sign the receipt.

The bartender reaches for your arm. “Honey if I was in your shoes as soon as he started saying that filth to you, he’d been knocked out. So I respect the level of control you had during the confrontation. If anyone is getting banned from the bar it’s that dirt bag. You are welcome back any time. Now go take care of that hand.” The bartender says to you.

You turn back towards your coworkers, they were clearly talking about what had just went down, not so subtly eyeing you as they talked amongst themselves.

“Danggggg (Y/N)! Look at you being a little secret MMA fighter! That man hit the floor so fast, you could’ve blinked and missed the sucker punch that you dealt out!” Ava exclaims.

“You good (Y/N)?” Gregory asks as he looks at you concerned.

“Not doing so hot currently, but I’ll be okay.” You say giving him a small smile.

“If you need anything you just let us know. We got you.” He says and then pats your shoulder gently.

“Thanks man, I appreciate that.” You squeeze his shoulder with your good hand.

“Oh my god (Y/N)! You had me literally speechless! Which speaks for itself obviously!” Jacob exclaims.

Before you can respond to Jacob, Janine engulfs you in a hug. “I was so worried about you (Y/N)! Are you okay? Is your hand okay? Is it hurting you right now?” Janine asks you rapidly.

You hug Janine gently back to encourage her to let you go. “Thanks for the concern Janine. I am not doing so hot right now. I think my hand’s broken to be honest. And yeah it doesn’t feel great right now.” You answer Janine’s questions, just talking about your hand makes you realize how badly your hand hurts. You need to get the fuck out of here and to the ER you think to yourself.

“One more question for you (Y/N). Does this mean that you and Melissa are a thing?” Jacob asks excited.

“Oh honey that’s a question for Ms. Schemmenti to answer.” You say to him with a smirk. He gets this look of horror on his face.

“You know what, it’s none of my business. Forget I asked.” He says nervously.

“Have a good rest of your night you two.” You say as you move past them.

At the end of the bar you see Barb and Jessica Rabbit herself, Barb has her arm around Melissa’s shoulder. To the average observer you’d think that the brunette is trying to console her friend. But you know better, she’s actually gently restraining the redhead from moving from her seat so that she doesn’t do even more damage to Gary as well as create another scene in the bar which has just gotten back to normal activity.

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for Melissa’s reaction then you walk right up to them. “Ladies! What a lovely evening it’s been, don’t you agree?” You tease with a small nervous laugh. Both women look back at you with deadpan expressions.

“Okayyy, too soon to joke about, noted.” You say.

“Young lady what on earth were you thinking?! Oh wait, obviously you weren’t thinking! You little girl are 100 pounds soaking wet and that barbarian is probably 3 times your size and could’ve easily severely injured or killed you! We were worried sick about you! Not to let the cat out of the bag but this woman is head over heels in love with you. And she would’ve been beside herself and never would forgive herself if anything happened to you!” Barb scolds you.

“Barb you heard what he said to me, no one gets to say such hateful things towards me and be spared of my wrath. Besides if I wouldn’t have stepped in, she would’ve and we both know I’m the one with more restraint, she would’ve probably ran out to her car and got her bat and then we’d be looking at murder charges possibly.” You defend yourself.

“That’s so not true!” The redhead exclaims.

“Oh come on babe! Be honest with yourself!” You tease as you nudge her playfully.

“Fine… there might be a possibility that might’ve happened.” She grumbles.

“There ya go! Barb if it makes you feel any better I’m pretty sure I broke my hand when I decked him so I am suffering the consequences of this shit show. Also I’m head over heels in love with your best friend and will protect her no matter the cost. It’s also nice to know how much you care about me.” You say as you smile at her. You step closer to Mel, you inhale her sweet but savory perfume and then you stroke her hair as you lean in and kiss her temple. You lean your head against hers and get full body chills. God I really do fucking love her you think to yourself.

Melissa wants to cuss you out in all of the Italian ways she knows how. But hearing you say that you love her and feeling your touch on her, she just wants to cry with relief that you’re not more injured than you are. God damn it Barb being right for the second time that day, she fucking loves you, just feeling your head on hers brings a wave of calm that she should not feel in this moment.

“Well I’ll leave you two love birds alone. Melissa, you take care of that girl and make sure she’s okay. And you miss little MMA fighter, behave yourself and make sure she doesn’t go after that man! I’ll see you both at school on Monday.” Barb says with a wave as she walks toward the other teachers.

“Are you trying to scare me to death by putting yourself in a situation where you could’ve been killed?!” Melissa scolds you but she can’t hide the tears that are pricking her eyes.

You pull her into hug and hold her tight. “I’m sorry angel. As soon as I heard what he said to me, it was over and no one could’ve stopped me from defending myself and you. I’m okay though and I’m right here and just thankful to be in your arms.” You say to her softly.

After you break away from each other. She gives you a concerned look. “Let me see your hand.” She says softly.

You give her your hand that is now turning black and blue. She gently touches it to see what the damage is, you can’t help but let out a little hiss because oh my god does it hurt. She gently kisses it and lets go.

“I’m gonna head over to the University Hospital and have them take care of me. I don’t want you to waste your night with that. I’ll text you when I get released.” You say in a matter of fact tone.

“No no no, you are not gonna do the whole Miss Independent I’m fine and I don’t need anyone thing! If you think for five seconds that I’m not going to be right beside you through all of this, you have another thing coming! I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this but you’re stuck with me taking care of you and making sure you’re okay when it comes to anything that life throws at you, even when you make boneheaded decisions in which you fight men three times your size! Which by the way I’m making you swear you’ll never do again!” She says in a there’s no debating this tone.

“You’re cute when you’re annoyed at me.” You say with a chuckle. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand gorgeous.” You say as you kiss her softly.

You drive to the hospital in silence, only the music from the radio filling the car. But Melissa throughout the whole ride makes sure to have one hand resting on your thigh every chance she gets.

She finds a spot relatively close to the emergency room entrance. She stops the car and then looks at you. She has to know if you really meant what you said to Barb.

“I need to know if you really meant what you said to Barb about me.” She says and you can see the vulnerability on her face.

“When I said that I love you?” You ask to clarify that’s what she means even though you know that it is.

She nods looking at you expectantly.

“Well it’s definitely not how I planned on saying it. I was going to do it after a romantic date or after an amazing night of pleasing each other. But of course I meant it Mel. I really do love you.” You say as you reach over and caress her cheek.

She leans towards you and you share a slow passionate kiss. “I love you so much (Y/N).” She says softly when the kiss ends.

You both just gaze at each other lovingly for a few moments, soaking in this memory that you’ll both cherish forever.

You go into the emergency room and get checked in and are taken to a room. You both snuggle together as you sit and wait for the nurse to come in.

The nurse comes in. “Hi, what brings you into the ER today?” She asks you.

Before you can explain what happened, Melissa jumps in. “Well this googootz thought it was a smart idea to punch a guy three times her size.” She says giving you a teasing look.

“Too bad you already said how much you love this googootz.” You tease back giving her a playful nudge. “But yes ma’am that is what happened and I think I broke my hand.” You answer the nurse.

“Damn if a broken hand is all you walked away with, I’d hate to see the other guy.” The nurse says.

You and Melissa give each other a look and then chuckle to yourselves.

Turns out you did have small fractures throughout your hand. They put a cast on you and refer you to a doctor to come back and see in a few weeks.

Melissa drives you home and insists that you go straight to the bedroom. You reluctantly follow her orders.

She climbs into bed with you. “I’m not going to lie seeing you defend my honor really turned me on.” She whispers in your ear. “And I would seem ungrateful if I didn’t somehow show my gratitude for my knight in shining armor.” She says in her husky seductive voice.

She then proceeds to undress you with head spinning speed and then starts at your breasts as she bites and sucks and teases clearly marking her territory. Just by that alone she’s already making you wet.

She’s not teasing you tonight, she wants you to know how hungry she is to please you. She gets to your folds and with one motion licks the juices off that she’s created. Your whole body shudders and you let out a little moan.

“Let me hear that beautiful moan of yours pretty girl.” She says in her husky seductive voice.

She slowly glides her fingers up and down your folds until she finds your clit. She rubs it slowly and gently at first, watching you unravel with every touch, she then penetrates you with two fingers and then starts eating you out until you are so tight around her fingers that she knows it’s just a matter of seconds until you reach that orgasmic bliss. She turns her attention back to your clit and rubs fast and hard and just like she thought you break open like a dam and she drinks up your cum like it’s the best drink she’s ever had.

She watches you in awe as you ride out your orgasm high. You look so fucking beautiful she thinks to herself. When you slowly come down she leans over you gazing down with adoration and a loving smile.

“Let me clean you up.” She whispers. She gets off the bed and is gone for a few minutes. “Let me know if this is too hot for you and she puts a warm towel on your leg.

“No baby that’s good.” You say still trying to catch your breath. And then proceeds to clean you up with a warm towel! What is this the platinum sex experience you think to yourself.

After she’s done she climbs back into bed and takes you in her arms.

“Now don’t you dare think this means that I condone this behavior!” She teases you with a playfully nudge.

“I know! I don’t. But can I say it was the best showing of gratitude I’ve ever experienced!” You say with a chuckle.

“Good amore mio.” She says softly as she kisses your head.

“Look at you speaking Italian to me! What does it mean?” You ask as you look at her with genuine curiosity.

“My love.” She whispers softly in your ear.

You look at her with tears filling your eyes.

“I love you Melissa Schemmenti.” You say softly and then you gently kiss her.

“I love you more my knight in shining armor.” She says with a smile.

You two lay there and just bask in the warmth of each other and the love that you share. Until you have to break the silence because the joke you just thought of is too good not to say.

“I wonder if we could make money off of me being a charity case.” You say laughing quietly.

Mel rolls her eyes and then pulls you close and kisses you softly, until you’re on the brink of falling asleep on her chest listening to her heart that beats just for you.

#abbott elementary #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti #wlw #lesbian #queer #pansexual #biseuxal #fanfic

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for coming out as bi to my girlfriend and voicing my concerns to her

I (18M) have been dating my girlfriend, L (20F) for three years now. our relationship has been great so far, we were attracted to each other from the start. she has always been very flirty and tbh that's how she won me over at first, because teenage hormones are gonna teenage hormones y'know, but when I got to know her better as a person I realized my feelings for her weren't just sexual - she is kind, gentle, overall really sweet. I was, and still am, attracted to her in every way. L is also openly bisexual, fully out, and idk I've always felt so safe around her because she doesn't judge others, I think she's so beautiful inside and out. she has been my first girlfriend ever so I always do my best to be supportive and make her feel loved.

a few months ago I realized I'm bi. I thought, hey, since she always speaks about her own bisexuality I think I can tell her I'm bi as well. she was, as usual, very non-judgemental but she said something that I didn't like, something like "you see how much I love and trust you? someone else would've been like OMG YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST GAY AND YOU WANT TO CHEAT ON ME WITH A GUY". I was,, confused bc 1. I think supporting your partner when they come out is the bare minimum, 2. she is bisexual herself and I don't think shes gonna cheat on me with a girl, I never acted like I was great for supporting her and 3. I know I'm not gay because L can do whatever she wants with me so I dunno what that comment was for. I've enjoyed my intimate encounters with her too much to be gay and she knows this.

I was a bit annoyed but still grateful that she was supportive. I noticed our sexual activities increased after that and a part of me wondered if she was trying to make sure I'm not gay. which made her look like a bit of a hypocrite because she never had to "prove" to me that she's not gay. not complaining tho - I just found it odd? I think it's a weird double standard, but then again I know women are always putting up with double standards so I feel like I can't tell her abt how strange her comment was. I just don't want L to think I'm not attracted to her and I started feeling like an asshole for telling her I'm bi.

but she got actually upset over something else that has nothing to do with us being bi - when we first started talking, she was dating another guy. I knew this, so I was respectful, I thought that L being flirty with me was some kind of joke until she told me she was serious and she couldn't stop thinking about me. L didn't cheat on him, she broke up with him before she started dating me, and recently I told her "hey... I won't be that guy one day, right? I trust you and I know you won't cheat on me, but I remembered how our friendship first started and if you ever stop loving me I would like to know before you feel ignored enough to start flirting with other guys". she got very visibly upset, she said I was right, said she felt cheap and like a whore and ???? NOT AT ALL WHAT I FUCKING MEANT. I was trying to tell her I want us to have communication, because I love her and I want our relationship to work out.

I feel like a shitty person and boyfriend, first for telling her I'm bi even though it wouldn't have an impact on our relationship, then for trying to voice my concerns and accidentally making her feel that way.

I've apologized a few times and we're good now but she introduced me to her best friend and,, this girl just started talking abt how she will guide me so I can properly take care of L? it made me feel really stupid. I felt like a child tbh. we are bi but not poly (I respect those who are, just giving you context) so idk why she felt she had to insert her friend into our relationship. am I really so bad that my girlfriend has to ask her friend to teach me how to be good to her? I would understand this if L had some sort of disability but her friend just talks to me about BDSM and doms/subs and like ??? I feel like L being a sub has fuck all to do with our argument, but I still feel terrible. pls help me make sense of these things. I want to know if I am the asshole.

#aita #am i the asshole

[heliza24]

Being a physically disabled Dimension 20 fan breaks my heart sometimes

I’ve been thinking about this since last Wednesday’s episode when we finally got a real scene with Lydia, one of the few physically disabled characters in the entire canon of the show. It was nice, but it was really just a lore dump. An excuse for exposition. A moment for Kristen to look good by expending sympathy/pity. (I’m a little frustrated about how that interaction went down. Extending the help action was nice but patronizingly touching the neck of a full-ass adult without consent was not. It was weird and not something she would have done to a nondisabled character).

I have watched almost all of D20 (still missing a couple of seasons) and as far as I know here’s where our list of canon physically disabled characters stand: Lydia Barkrock, Jan de la Vega (who feels pretty problematic to me, maybe more on that in a later post), one of the Dwarven statues in the temple in The Seven (who is not given the dignity of being brought to life like Asha), and Pete’s coworker in TUC2 who is in exactly one episode and is so unimportant I have forgotten his name. I guess you could make an argument that Gunny is disabled, but I don't feel that Lou or Brennan really talk about him or play him through that lens. So in terms of canon physically disabled PCs-- that leaves us with 0.

We do a bit better with neurodivergent characters and characters with mental health problems; Ayda (my beloved) is very well developed and Adaine is a PC. There have been some openly neurodivergent players, like Omar and Surena, whose characters also read ND to me. But that isn’t labeled or discussed in canon, so it's hard for me to know where to class that. I am going to focus the rest of this post on physical disabilities, since that is my area of lived experience. If another fan wants to write about their perspective of neurodivergence rep in the show, I would love to hear that, and will happily amplify.

There has never been a character with a sensory disability or a limb difference or a chronic illness (not a fantasy one, a real one) on Dimension 20. The only NPCs we have are nondescript, similar wheelchair users. And there has never been a physically disabled player at the table. On the flagship show of Dropout, a company founded on diversity and inclusion. It feels extremely pointed to me.

In fact as far as I can tell there has only been one (1) physically disabled performer on any of Dropout’s shows. (Shout out to Brett, you were great on Dirty Laundry.) Obviously I haven’t seen every episode of everything they have produced. If I have missed someone, please do let me know in the comments/reblogs. But it’s a problem. And Sam Reich even agreed with this criticism when I asked him directly about.

I do really hope they’re working on it, as Sam says. But why has it taken so long?

Dimension 20 has had trans and nonbinary and queer players. It has had players of many different races. I’m not saying that the diversity here is perfect; there should always be more POC in the dome, more queer people. We should keep pushing for that. (And we should also push for performers at the intersections of these identities!) But we’ve seen the ways this diversity has expanded and improved the different seasons, because diverse players create sensitively drawn, diverse player characters. They add details to their PC’s experiences that make them feel rich and alive. I’m thinking about each of Ally’s PC’s incredible capital G gender and Aabria “all my characters (even the stoats) are Black” and how excellent they all are. D20 would not be the show it is without this input.

And yet. And yet.

There are 1,000 interesting and complicated themes to explore around disability. Dealing with access. Dealing with ableism. Dealing with compassion and community care. Dealing with none of it and just being a cool fantasy or sci fi character that happens to be disabled. We don’t get any of it.

I watch my favorite show and I see myself in the ace rep and the female characters. But I don’t see all of me. I see a silent but ever present message: you aren’t quite welcome here.

I have this fantasy that I play in my brain sometimes that someday I’ll get to talk to Brennan in person, like maybe if I buy a VIP ticket and risk Covid to go to a live show or we run into each other on the street or something. I am able to look him in the eye and articulate why he NEEDS to include a physically disabled player in an upcoming season. I reference the ways he’s talked about inclusion and writing diversely on Adventuring Party. Maybe I hand him a handwritten letter, or hell, a printout of this post. And because he really cares about diversity and his shows and his fans he would listen to me, and cast a physically disabled performer in the next season.

But I think that might be giving that nondisabled man (whose work I adore, who I respect so much) too much credit. Because he’s had Jennifer Kretchmer, a physically disabled actual play performer, on adventuring academy to talk about access in gaming. He’s hired disability consultants. He knows about physically disabled people, enough to give us shoutouts as inconsequential npcs. And he still hasn’t thought to include us at the table. In over 20 seasons. None of that other stuff matters if we aren't given a seat at the story telling table, and the agency to craft our own narratives equal to other participants in the game.

When Lydia was telling her story in the last episode, I kept wishing for a prequel, where she is more than a plot delivery device and a kind but unimportant parent. I want to know about her adventures with her adventuring party. I want to see a talented, wheelchair-using actor play out the scene when she decides to put the gem in her chest. I want to hear about what happened after. I want to know how she survived. I want it so badly it hurts.

I am in the process of trying to find new indie actual plays that feature more disabled talent. I am learning how to GM myself so I can tell these kinds of stories. But it’s not the same as being a fan of something. Sometimes I don’t want to have to make my own representation. Sometimes I just want to turn on my favorite tv show, the one that I have cosplayed from and written metas about and loved whole heartedly, and see myself included.

If you’re another disabled or neurodivergent fan I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. If you’re not, I’d love for you to reblog this. I would love for the absence of physical disability in this show to be a topic of fandom conversation, at the very least.

#dimension 20 #d20 #my crip media reviews #being a fan is hard sometimes #and being disabled means you get left out of “diversity” all the time #I love this show so much it hurts #I wish it could love me back a little bit more #fantasy high junior year #fantasy high #my meta #dropout #dropout tv #Sam reich

[justalittlesolarpunk]

hi! i have been experiencing The Horrors lately (just general hopelessness about the state of the world and especially in regards to climate change) and i am just wondering - do you have any advice for incorporating climate action into one’s everyday life? i need to do something about this but the problem feels so big that i feel like i can’t, like i am drowning in it and i need to learn to swim

Hi my love, sorry it took me a while to respond, I’ve been quite tired!

So first off, the Horrors are reasonable, it’s a very sensible human response to the state of things around you and shows you have empathy and that you care. I say this because it’s all too easy to shame yourself for despair, but it’s natural that we fall into it sometimes.

In terms of doing climate action a little every day, there’s so much you can get your teeth into. For starters, there are personal choices, like giving up flying or meat and dairy if you can. Sure, these don’t add up to much, but they can really change how you feel and working with a smaller burden of guilt can be life-changing. Similarly making choices like switching your electricity and heating and getting an electric car (or even better, taking the train, bus, tram, your feet or a bus) can help you get into a more positive mindset as you feel like you are ‘doing your part’. Check if you have any savings or pensions invested in fossil fuels and switch them over. Even buying from zero waste shops can help shift your mood, even if it’s too small to shift the whole economy.

Once you’ve got all these little changes out of the way, it’s time to think systemic. Most places will have a local activist group you can join, which usually only involves a commitment to weekly meetings - can you attend XR, A22, Greenpeace or Friends of The Earth gatherings in your neighbourhood? These will usually allow you to start attending protests and keying into wider campaign networks.

Something else you can do is bring the subject up with people in your life, to contribute to a wider cultural shift where climate conversations are normalised, and you can agitate for changes at your job or university/school that will bring the institution’s emissions down.

Try to consume a more balanced media diet, seeking out what is going right in the world as well as what is going wrong. Sites like Positive News and the Good News Network are helpful for this. Supernova is a purely positive social media app if you’re looking for a more uplifting scrolling experience.

But much more important is to get outside and to make real-life community. If there’s a conservation or gardening volunteer group in your area I’d highly recommend getting involved with it - nothing has helped me as much as getting my hands in the dirt, doing meaningful work to grow food to feed my neighbours. A lot of our climate anxiety stems from fear that we won’t be able to feed ourselves or that natural beauty will vanish, so connecting with crops or landscapes is a great way to soothe some of that. Building relationships with neighbours or affinity groups (such as LGBT, POC or disabled organisations) can help you feel part of a more resilient network of people who can help each other out in a crisis. Plus if you get to plant trees regularly I guarantee that will help you feel like you’re contributing.

Solarpunk content is great for improving your outlook too - whether it’s optimistic sci-fi, utopian cityscapes or anarchist politics, it all uplifts you and reminds you of what’s possible. Check out people’s stories of what they’re doing to make the world a little better to remind yourself you’re not in it alone.

If you can afford to, a regular donation to groups working to reforest, re-wet peatland, re-seed mangroves or combat soil erosion is a pretty tangible way to fight the climate crisis. Be sure to do all the obvious stuff like voting and engaging with other political pathways too.

A fun weekend’s activity could be seedbombing with friends or building a bee house - there’s lots you can do that’s crafty or creative that also helps your local environment, even if it’s just growing food or pollinator friendly plants on your windowsill or letting your lawn rewild itself. Taking an attitude of grateful, affectionate kinship with all the plants and animals around you will aid in building a sense of connection with the ecosystem and reminding you that you’re part of a grand, resilient web of life.

Put together the emergency kit I detail in an earlier post, so you feel prepared for facing extreme weather and taking part in mutual aid. Teach yourself to forage or at the very least recognise the common plants in your area. This counteracts species blindness and makes you more considerate of the non-human.

You could even consider altering your career path, if you’re an adult, and re-training to work in the climate movement, though this will not be accessible for everyone. If you’re a younger person you could look into pursuing an educational path that will allow you to join the green sector.

If you can get some, therapy with an eco-informed professional can be hugely beneficial for channeling your very reasonable feelings of terror into meaningful action that benefits you and the planet, though admittedly there’s only so much individualised therapy can do for such a huge problem - perhaps there’s a support group you can go to?

And finally, make sure you take some time every day, preferably an hour if you can spare it, but certainly at least fifteen minutes, to do something you really love, that brings you genuine joy, and has nothing to do with the climate crisis. You can’t pour from an empty cup and you can’t put out fires if you’re burnt out. Rest, regeneration and self-care are prerequisites for sustainable movement building and you deserve to have moments of unalloyed happiness. You are categorically NOT in this alone, you are part of a huge, ever-growing moment full of people who are working towards the same goal even though most of you will never meet. And so while we need you now more than ever, there’s also enough of us that you can take a few minutes to feel better and it won’t cost us the fight. As an older activist said to me recently, even when we sleep our comrades across the world are waking up ready to face the day’s struggle.

Ultimately, a lot of these are just things that have worked for me, and they won’t all be accessible or appropriate to you. Some of them are more about changing your viewpoint than radically altering the status quo around the climate. But I know I fight better when I feel optimistic and well in myself, so these are my suggestions. I hope some of them help, and I want to commend your strength and bravery in reaching out for advice and connection, because that’s how we keep fighting, and that’s how we win.

The Horrors are real, but so are the Wonders. And one of those Wonders is you.

#solarpunk #hopepunk #environmentalism #social justice #cottagepunk #community #optimism #bright future #climate justice #positivity #looking forward #keeping on #activism #sustainability #the wonders

[critter-genfic-events]

This week, we have ten amazing fic recs all about Ashton! Dive in and enjoy some stories about everyone’s favorite punk rock! Check them out under the cut, and as ever, comment or kudos if you like them!

Krook House Family Shenanigans by Beauteousmajesty (5109,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Fresh Cut Grass & Ashton Greymoore & Milo, Ashton Greymoore/Milo Krook (querplatonic)

Snippets of everyday life in the Krook house + Milo dealing with Ashton leaving. Reccer says: All of these fics are amazing, so I had to rec the series. I love the shenanigans they come up with and the care and love they have for each other

A Head Full Of Smoke Leaves Little Room For Pain by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink) (2272,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Ashton & Imogen

Ashton partakes of some smoking - for recreational and painkilling use. They offer to let Imogen join in Reccer says: I love any fics that deal with the bonding between the two chronic pain-havers in the group!

just don't by ivelostmyspectacles (5194,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Ashton & Orym, Ashton & Milo

Early in campaign 3, Ashton finds Orym beat up in an alleyway and tries his best to take care of him. Reccer says: It's a great look on Ashton's early learning how to care about other people again

Trust > Memory by Clare_Hope (2706,Teen) Warnings: temporary amnesia through head trauma Pairings: Ashton & Bells Hells

After a rough fight, Ashton's head injury is acting up. They trust the people who are there to look after him, even if they don't fully know why. Reccer says: It's great hurt/comfort, and deals with Ashton's realizations that they really care for these people, even when he doesn't really remember what they've been through together.

a spark of potential by mousecookie (1189,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Ashton Greymoore & Caleb Widogast

After Ludinus's defeat, Ashton approaches one of their new allies with questions about dunamancy. Reccer says: One of the things I really want to happen is for Ashton to finally learn a little bit more about the dunamancy juice that got poured into his brain - both Ashton and Caleb's voices are pitch perfect here.

And The Pain Descends Like A Thundercloud by Deramin (2473,General) Warnings: Chronic pain and insomnia, described in great detail. Pairings: None

It’s 4 am and Ashton can’t sleep. They lie awake cataloging their pain and trying to describe it, unable to focus on anything else. Reccer says: I wrote this fic. I'm disabled with severe chronic pain, and I tried to describe what experiencing that pain is like poetically. It seems to resonate with other chronic pain sufferers. I think it helps explore a very important aspect of Ashton's life that many fic writers don't have the experience to describe.

Painful hugs by Deramin (1511,General) Warnings: None Pairings:

Ashton reflects on their complex relationship with gentleness, their inner feelings about fucking up, and how they feel about their friend's reactions. Reccer says: The chronic pain and self loathing seem very true to Ashton

Gold Scar by jam_jarmusch (699,General) Warnings: Implied self-harm Pairings: Ashton & Milo

Ashton and Milo in recovery after the Hexum robbery Reccer says: AFAB nonbinary Ashton is something that is very dear to me

If We Hit the Bottom by bluegreenamber (2620,Mature) Warnings: Graphic Descriptions of Violence Pairings:

Ashton has failed the communication challenge, and as penance, he is falling and falling and falling once again. They were not expecting to see what they see in the darkness they fall into. Reccer says: I liked it

To Care or Not to Care by MasterQwertster (313,Teen) Warnings: None Pairings: Anni Aughta & Ashton Greymoore & Milo Krook

Anni notices that Ashton is good at taking care of Milo but not so good at taking care of himself. Reccer says: I liked it

This is one of our weekly communally-generated gen rec lists. Every week we announce a new theme and allow anyone to submit a fic recommendation. Please note that the summary and content notes are provided by the reccer, and may be different than what the author has provided. Please assume good intentions all around. <3

And hey, anyone includes you!

Next week, we'll be featuring fics focused on Hair Care!

Then, it'll be Pre-Campaign, Crashing A Party, and Calamity Focused!

Any fics coming to mind?  Well, then use this form to submit!

If you're looking for some more, check out some fics written in the critter genfic bingo tag, or the older rec lists! Or you can request your own card and join in on the fun!

#critical role #critter genfic rec lists #gen fic #ashton greymoore #bells hells #cr fan fic #apologies for the late post!

[kiruliom]

you know what mental disorder people make hard to talk about even within communities built on it, besides paras?

munchausens.

and I get the reasoning, its scary. even if the whole disorder's thing being faking another disorder/illness/trauma wasnt doing it, fakeclaimers love to abuse the word until it loses its meaning.

so as someone who actually has it Id like to clear some stuff up

first of all, this doesnt mean Im faking any of my conditions, maybe not all of them are entirely accurate, but thats because I havent been able to find disorders that better describe it. Ive researched each of my conditions religiously, and talked most of them with my psychologist, who we already agreed I shouldnt get a medical diagnosis for because it could literally ruin my future where I live.

we're not "transabled", yes a portion of our community unfortunately does swing that way, but thats because thats the only community that wont immedietly flip its shit when you say "hey I dont actually have this disorder but I feel like I should have it" and thats so fucking sad. Im very anti-transabled and similar things. hell, even I was terrified of bringing it up until now.

its not a delusion, not for me, at least. I know I dont have the disorders I feel like I should have. so its not a mental equivelant of BIID. most of us feel that way because we're neglected, or feel we should have been affected worse, and some part of us grips to the false fact that maybe if we were hurt worse people would actually care, even if deep down we do know better.

it is incredibly rare. rarer than plurality even. so most fakeclaimers who immedietly resort to blaming munchausens for disabled people they claim are cringe, guess what!! that shits even rarer than whatever bullshit you claim cringy teens are faking.

if you believe someone is faking a disorder, let them!! ignore them!!! personally Id let 1000 people get away with faking shit than fakeclaim someone who actually has that disorder you claim theyre faking. and similar to delusions, it often makes us 'get into character' even harder, and just ruins our mood and makes actually disordered people around us insecure as well. there is no 'right' way to be disordered.

me, personally? Ive never gone as far as to fake a disorder, but god damn did I have the urge to and still do. I would be that whole 'he has every mental illness' meme if I didnt have as much self control as I did. but honestly would you even know if I did? I wouldnt tell you. because that means Id no longer get the attention I already wasnt getting because realistically no one cares and those that do are annoyingly pitying about it.

if any of you have questions about this, dont be afraid to ask, as long as you dont accuse me of shit Id love to talk about it. I just want more information on us out there :(

fakeclaimers fuck off or Ill rip your throat out

-Reggie and Velvet

#not flagpost #munchausen syndrome #facticious disorder #actually munchausens #facticious disorder imposed on self #FDIOS #munchausen #actually munchausen #LIOM #liom community #liom friendly #liom blog

[skys-archive]

Solidarity has got to be the best thing I've ever experienced

People who understand my queer identities? Like women but don't date them and oh so incredibly attracted to men and any non woman? People who understand my gender where I want to push to boundaries of gender presentation - be a masculine woman and a feminine man and everything in between but really I am neither I am simply myself and those who understand that truly understand who I am. The alloaces who aren't fully ace. Maybe you want sexual sometimes its just really easy to get uncomfortable. Wanting to give and not receive or receive and not give people who still love romantically and deeply but simply don't fully want the sexual experiences. Polyamorous solidarity? Supporting each other and giving advice and understanding that loving multiple doesn't disregard the love for one. Queer solidarity is truly beautiful and finding people that find the same way as me is so hard but so rewarding

What about cripple solidarity? People who understand spoons and how it's can be so hard to function with the amount of pain and brain fog we're in every day. I love celebrating the little victories with each other the things that are so hard for us but not everyone thinks of. In real life i don't know anyone who's disabled but online I've come to such a wonderful community full of support and love and care and I love all of you. It's so hard to find people that understand and take everything seriously.

Neurodivergent solidarity. Finding other people that struggle with paranoia and hallucinations and delusions. Things that are so horrifying that no one seems to understand. The solidarity between those who understand is incredible. We're there for each other through the pain and sorrow and fear that we can face every single day. Im going to be honest, I don't know anyone in real life or online well that struggles with this. But if solidarity in my queerness and disability has been so wonderful I can only imagine.

Solidarity is the best I can imagine how to feel. To be understood and seen and the care that comes with it.

#disability #physical disability #chronic pain #chronic illness #hallucinations #delusion #paranoia #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #queer community #asexual #alloace #transgender #genderqueer #nonbinary #gay #nblm

[gabessquishytum]

Hello Friend,

With US Thanksgiving coming up I’m feeling really very thankful and feel the need to tell you. You, without fail, make my day better everyday. I read your blog like some people might their newspapers and it can often help me relax after a long day. Even when I am not your target audience I can always see how your writing is so thoughtful, excited, and well-rounded. You just care so much and I know it must take so much effort to reply to all these asks but you do it with such compassion and vigor that I read things I never thought I would. I have discovered new tropes and kinks I enjoy and it’s even helped me get desensitized to some of my previous icks which I am grateful for. But it has also brought me countless smiles and expanded my imagination in so few words. I think sometimes we internalize that horny writings™️ are LESS than others but you have helped me truly get over that internalized superiority complex I had.

You have genuinely brought me so much joy that I sometimes think I love you in the way only a fan can love a creator. I love you in the way a stranger can never express to another stranger on the internet but longs to. Please let me know if you ever get a Patreon or a Kofi or a Paypal even because I feel such guilt in never being able to repay you for the joy you have brought me. Truly, you are one of my favorite fandom creators ever like top 3 (Aria is in there with you fyi).

I’m sorry if this is creepy but you have truly made me unhinged and I am grateful for it. You compel me to think of my own words for fandom which has never happened to me before. You compel me to think more and to love more (and be more of a horndog lol) and you are so special for that.

I hope you have an amazing holiday season and know that you are loved and appreciated (hopefully by friends and family) but especially by strangers on this hellsite.

All the best,

🧶

P.S. I am sorry this got weirdly rambley and maybe borderline creepy - I am just like this lol.

Beloved 🧶 anon please know I am having a little cry over your message. I am feeling so so under the weather and sick at the moment and this is just the nicest thing i could have received.

It makes me so happy and proud to know that my blog helps you relax and makes you feel good. I do love making my silly posts and collaborating with you guys, it really does mean the world to me. I try not to talk about it a lot but I am currently very disabled and as a result I can't work, so I've kinda started seeing this blog as my fun little job that brings enrichment into my life. It makes me happy and gives me a sense of accomplishment and community and I'm so grateful for that.

Every time someone writes to me with a kink they enjoy or a prompt or anything really, I DO feel so much enthusiasm and care for each one and I'm so glad that you guys can feel that in the posts.

I'm so thankful to all of you and especially you 🧶 anon, it means the world to get such lovely feedback on my weird little beloved horny passion project. Love you all.

#🧶 anon

[nixie-writes]

I love the blind/mute one!

If you’re interested, how about something similar with a reader that’s missing an arm? How Charlie, Alastor, and Angel met them/got close?

neato! I don't see a lot of representation for physically disabled peeps in this community. I did platonic headcanons for this because I liked that direction more than a romantic one.

Alastor

-he met you during a stroll to Cannibal Cafe. He initially didn't think much of you but was interested in the fact you were missing an arm. When he asked you about it you were cool with it, you weren't offended. He liked that about you. He offered to pay for your meal and after that you two kept meeting there, him always covering your meal in exchange for learning more about you and how you work despite your disability.

-you grew closer over time and eventually Alastor mentioned the hotel, telling you that while the idea was ridiculous there were kind demons who could take care of you. You took him up on that offer and he brought you to the hotel, where you signed up for a room and took stock across the hall from him. Every night he sends a shadow to your room to bid you a good night.

Angel Dust

-you met late one night, after Angel had done a shoot. He was out in a less populated part of Pride looking for bad news. You'd heard of him and knew he worked for Valentino, infamous for his abuse to his employees. Angel looked beaten and bruised. You approached him slowly and offered to buy him a drink to lift his mood. He laughed sourly and agreed, who would turn down a free drink? After a little time spent in a seedy bar he gave you his number and left. You called him nightly and he updated you on his night and you told him about your life.

-you grew closer with each call. He began trusting you with sensitive details of his work and you trusted him with the less savory aspects of your own life. He eventually mentioned the hotel he was living in to support himself and suggested you check it out if you ever needed cheap rent. You took up his offer and after mentioning him to the clerk you were given a free room to stay in not far from Angel's. He's still a bit reserved but he always makes a point to sit with you at meal time and buy you a drink sometimes.

Charlie

-she's shocked, you poor thing! She met you during one of her campaigns, you were in a small crowd of listening demons. You were the only one who seemed genuinely interested. After the other demons dispersed she asked you about your arm and you explained how you lost it/were born without it and didn't take any offense to her blunt question. She told you that the hotel had some vacant rooms and she could offer you a free place to stay if you wanted, and there were other demons who could take care of you. Since it's Hell and everyone is out to kill each other you took her offer of free residency, knowing you were just considered easy murder fodder to other demons.

-you grew closer as you adjusted to the hotel. You were kind to the other demons, even Alastor, who made you the ass of his sadistic jokes. You loved cooking with Niffty and got along swell with Vaggie, who took you under her wing to protect you. You were friendly to Angel despite his advances. You spent time playing games with Husk and regardless of your skill with a hand of cards you let him win to stroke his ego and put him in an unusually good mood. She appreciated that you were so kind to everyone and loved you for it, you were her best friend! With time you became inseparable and Vaggie considered you more like a sister.

#hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin x reader #alastor x reader #alastor #angel dust x reader #angel dust #hazbin charlie x reader #hazbin charlie #x disabled reader

[404name-not-found]

Vent post about system stuff incoming:

Also if you don't support in-system relationships just fuck off this specific post ok? Not in the mood to hear it

The concept of spending the rest of my life only ever half able to touch my wife (he/they) is fucking depressing. I can feel him because I mainly sit internally, and I know he can, to some degree, feel a ghost of where I'm touching him (not that way I'm referring to cuddling and kissing the rest is no one else's business) but it's not the same.

I will never be able to hold him the way his partner with a separate body can. While I'm not jealous of said partner, it does feel like something about me will always be inferior. I know if I had my body, I would not be able to hear his thoughts and know his feelings so we wouldn't work as well as we do, and probably would not be anywhere near as in love as we are because we don't deal with all the time wasted by misunderstandings and such. But I also know that if I had my body I could marry him legally, and I could be supporting him because my body was not disabled. I could take care of him in ways I just can't as things are. If I had my body, I could fill the roles I can't fill because we share a brain and body.

I wish with everything in me I had my body and still had the ability to communicate the way we do. I wouldn't have seen him in so many abusive relationships. I wouldn't watch him struggle to get things done and get what he needs. I was able to work in my fictional canon! I made plenty enough to support us! But I can't.

I know a miracle let me literally cover a gap between worlds to let us be together even though here I'm considered fictional. And somewhere deep down I know it wasn't a miracle, it was a world of hurt I wish he'd never gone through. And I know I should just be grateful I have him and we can be together despite how absolutely impossible it realistically is that we managed this.

I couldn't imagine a world without him, and I would never want to take the step back that would come with losing sharing the same head the way we do, but there's just a lot about sharing a body that makes a relationship like ours feel like we're so close to being perfect and the only thing in the way is one missing electrified meatsuit.

Don't misunderstand, while despite all the scientific knowledge I do have, I have no understanding of the science that makes it so he can kiss the air or a pillow using the body and *only* have the same biological reactions as he would with another body if one of us is kissing him in the head at the same time, I am eternally grateful for it. But for once, would like to stop being scientific wonder and be a man and his wife with nothing extraordinary besides the amount we love each other.

There's nothing to say or do to make it better; I'll feel okay tonight when he's laying in my arms since the body dissociates well enough when we're laying down to sleep that we can almost entirely feel each other, but for now it sucks and there's nothing that's ever going to change it. I spend 99% of my time grateful that I was given the chance to know him and love him and be loved by him and I wouldn't risk it for anything, but that doesn't mean I don't wish we could fill that last gap to where this would be perfect for him the way it is for me.

He deserves a relationship that can give him everything someone with another body can with someone who would *never* use that body to cause him harm, not with someone who is in the process of being taught not to. He deserves to kiss someone without flashbacks of that person forcing that kiss a few short years ago.

He deserves to have the whole experience of a relationship with someone who genuinely loves him without any backstory of beating or assaulting him in any way. Instead the closest he gets is always wondering if the only reason I'm safe is because I don't have a body to hurt him with. And I do not blame him at all for wondering that - every non-middle school relationship he's had besides one that didn't end up with that happening has been with those of us in his head. But I want to prove to him that people can love him without causing pain. That he SHOULD be loved in ways that do not cause pain. That no one should be hurting him and calling it love and there is nothing about having a body that causes them to behave that way. That what they did was choice they made and kept making, not inherrent to using body separate of his. Maybe then he'd be able to understand that he deserved better than what he got.

#this is honestly just talking circles #but needed to get it off my chest #because this hits in very painful ways sometimes #and tonight is one such time #sysblr #did support #did system #alter relationships #in system relationship #in system dating #system #system relationships #actually did #did alter #did community #did osdd #osddid #did #hb #vent post

[mrsaguapapi]

Ch 1  Ch 2

Chapter 3

Eyes Wide Shut

The Vibe:

La Llorona-Carmen Goett

I sit on the balcony of my therapist's apartment, I can hear the busy city streets below us and the fluttering wings of birds in the sky. We've been doing this for a few weeks now, and each session brings me closer to healing but it's only an inch at a time to a mile-long worth of trauma.

I sit in my seat obviously unable to see the sun but I can feel the warm summer heat grace my face. My therapist hands me a joint and I take a deep inhale, feeling the familiar calming effect of the ✨jazz lettuce✨. She is definitely an "out-there" professional technically no longer licensed but she continues to work with associates of Japan's underground crime syndicates; she for whatever reason, relates well to us criminals (both past and current). She was a small, unassuming woman who has been described to me as a 'Sweet gal, with tired eyes and a perpetually weary expression'

We sit in comfortable silence for a few moments before my therapist speaks up. "So, Ari, what's been on your mind since our last session? How have the nightmares been lately?" My therapist asked

"They're back," I admitted, throwing my head back and exhaling dramatically "It's like I'm reliving everything again."

She nodded. "Tell me about it. What's been coming up for you?"

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. "It's always the same thing. The night I had to take out the Hive. In my dreams, It's like it's all happening again, and I can't stop it."

My therapist leaned forward, her eyes never leaving mine. "You need to lay it all out on the table, Ari. You can't keep pushing it down and pretending it never happened. It's always going to be there, lurking in the background until you deal with it head-on."

I knew she was right, but it was hard to hear. I didn't want to relive those memories, to feel the pain and the guilt and the shame all over again. But I also knew that I couldn't keep living like this, trapped in my own head, reliving my nightmares every night.

"I know," I said finally. "I just... I don't know how to start."

"Start with the beginning," my therapist said gently. "Just lay it all out, explain it to me as if I have never heard of the Yakuza"

And so I did.

My father was an assassin, a highly skilled one at that. He was on a mission to take out a house of child sex traffickers, most of their victims were between the ages of 10-16. I was 1 years old at the time, I learned later in life that I was the daughter of one of the trafficked children. She died of malnourishment just days before we were saved; they planned to raise me into the sex trade as I was a "Rare Find" in the Japanese child trafficking market, and , not many black children were involved.

Fortunately for me, my father Tanaka found me. All of the children that were saved were going to be home with families in the area except me. I was deemed unwanted by the community because of my color. He without a word took me and raised me as his own.

My father was a man of few words, but his actions spoke volumes. He had been orphaned and living on the streets at a young age but managed to work his way into the yakuza and up the ranks; eventually, he became a respected member of the criminal organization.

He was a solitary man who preferred to keep to himself, but when he took me under his wing, he became a dedicated and loving father. He was tough on me, and he taught me what he knew, albeit not the best practice to teach your daughter the *art* of assassination. When I went blind he was nothing but caring he got me Yukio for additional support, but he did not let up on me one bit, he treated my blindness as an obstacle, not a disability.

Despite his gruff exterior, my father had a deep love for me, I think I was the only one that understood him. He was fiercely protective of me and would do anything to keep me safe. We were inseparable, and even when we weren't working together, we spent all of our free time together. Granted, we did a lot of...questionable things. Assassinations, kidnappings, drug deals. You name it, we did it. But I cherished every moment I had with him.

"You say 'had'?" she questions, "Is he no longer with us?"

I take another hit from my joint and try to hold back some of my tears, "I'm not ready to talk about it yet, is that okay?" I exhale and sniffle a bit

"Of course, would you like to continue, or do you need a break?"

"I'm okay," I say

"Proceed" she gave me the floor once again.

Together we climbed the hierarchy of the yakuza, and he eventually became a boss. There was pushback about me being a member of the Yakuza due to my blindness but I soon proved to be a force to be reckoned with. We ran an empire together for a few years before the night of my merciless execution of the Hive. The night I became Kokushibyō, the Black Death.

The Hive was a clan of assassins from a rival gang in Japan. They were known to be ruthless and cunning, and they specialized in kidnappings and assassinations of rival gangs and political figures in Japan. One night, they kidnapped the daughter of one of our allies, the Yakuza boss called Nomad. As a sign of good faith, my father sent me and my team to retrieve the kidnapped girl the boss.

But things didn't go as planned. We were ambushed and my entire team was killed. It was just me left to finish the mission by myself. I was outnumbered, but I manage to take out nearly 100 men on my own and retrieved the child before reinforcements came.

I killed so many people that night. And the worst part is, I didn't feel anything. I was just...numb. Like I was in a trance," I say, my eyes filling with tears.

That night changed everything for me. I was traumatized by the experience and realized that I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't be an assassin, not after what had happened. So, I retired from the business, much to my father's disappointment. But he understood, in his own way. He loved me, and he knew that I had to do what was right for me. I found a love for cooking so I moved out here and built my restaurant. I'm living a good life, I love my business, and my dog, even this Jujustu stuff is kinda cool, and yet I still feel empty, worthless, and scared.

"Scared of what?" She asks

"That I'm a monster..."

"Ari, you are not a monster. The fact that you feel remorse for your actions and worry about your impact on others shows that you have a conscience and are a caring person."

"But I killed so many people that night. I don't think I can ever forget what I did."

"It's understandable to feel that way, but you have to understand that you were doing what you had to do to protect someone. You were acting in self-defense and defense of others. It's not like you went out of your way to harm innocent people."

"But I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the violence and the power I had over them."

"That doesn't make you a monster either. It's natural to feel a rush of adrenaline and excitement in situations like that. It's important to recognize those feelings and work on managing them, but it doesn't make you a bad person."

I sigh and wipe my tears, "Thank you, I needed to hear that"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Vibe:

Jaded-Ms. White

After another 20 mins, we wrap up our session, and I Uber to Jujustu Tech. I've been at this now for about 6 months and it's honestly not so bad; working with these kids brings me joy, and reminds me of me and my father when we would train together.

Bittersweet

Today, I prepare for my training sessions with the teachers and other sorcerers. It's become a weekly routine for me and just about everyone has had at least one session with me. I take pride in my ability to train others in combat and weapons, despite my blindness.

Atsuyu, however, refuses to come back. I think I may have scared him a bit. He probably thought he would have the upper hand with me since I can't see, but I've become an excellent swordsman through years of training.

Shoko is a regular attendee and we've become good friends over time. She may not be the best fighter, but I've seen improvement in her skills.

Ijichi is another regular attendee who surprised me with his combat skills. He may appear timid at first, but he's actually a powerhouse in combat.

Mei Mei and the principal have also come to a few sessions. It's been fun working with them individually and seeing their progress. Overall, I enjoy these training sessions and the opportunity to share my skills with others.

As for Gojo and Nanami not so much. Gojo claims he's the best jujutsu sorcerer and doesn't need any help or notes. Typical Gojo. As for Nanami, he's been completely silent since our fight months ago. I'm afraid I might have crossed a line with him. He hasn't said a word to me since that day. It's been bothering me, but I don't know what to do about it.

I put Yukio on her leash and stepped out of my apartment, I couldn't help but feel the sun beating down on my skin. It was one of the hottest days of the summer, and I had to come up with a way to combat the heat. I decided to wear a pleated mini skort and white cropped top, paired with a set of white heels that strap around my ankles. The outfit was minimalistic, yet practical enough to keep me cool. My hair was braided up into long box braids, a protective hairstyle for the heat.

On my back was a mini backpack, which had all my training attire inside. It was Sunday afternoon, and I had to make my way to the training rooms. I was so engrossed in my thoughts about the new dish I had been experimenting with that I didn't even notice someone was closely approaching me until almost too late.

I take a deep breath to steady myself as Mr. Nanami's scent fills my nose. Evergreen and lemons. He always smells like that. "Mr. Nanami," I say, trying to keep my voice even.

He seems taken aback that I recognized him. "You knew it was me?"

I nod, even though I know he can't see it. "Your scent is very distinct," I explain. "Plus, I remember your voice from our fight."

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again. "I see," he says, still sounding surprised. "I apologize for startling you."

"It's okay," I say, shrugging it off. "I was lost in thought, so it's not your fault."

I hear him take a step closer to me. "What were you thinking about?" he asks, his voice low.

I hesitate for a moment before answering. "A new dish I've been experimenting with," I say. "I'm thinking about adding it to the menu at my restaurant."

There's a pause before he speaks again. "What kind of dish is it?"

I grin, excited to talk about my cooking. "It's a fusion dish," I explain. "A mix of Japanese and Jamaican flavors. Jerk chicken with a miso glaze."

He lets out a small awkward chuckle. "That sounds interesting."

Is he nervous?

"Did you need me for something?" I ask curiously, as I bend down and unleash Yukio. She goes to her usual spot by the window.

"I owe you an apology," he says suddenly. "I underestimated you as a fighter and let my pride get in the way. I've been avoiding you for the past six months because I was ashamed and embarrassed."

I am taken aback by his words. I never thought he would apologize to me. "No, Mr. Nanami, it's me who should apologize. I went too far in our sparring session, and I'm sorry."

He chuckles, "We're both apologizing to each other, it seems. Let's just call it even and move on, shall we?"

I nod, feeling relieved, "I'd like that," I say smiling

"Great," he says, "Well, while I'm here would you mind training with me today?"

"Yes!" I say maybe a little more excited than I should have. I calm down and smoothly say "Uh yea. Just let me change into proper clothes real quick."

He clears his throat, "Of course" he responds

I quickly gather my things and head to the women's locker room slipping into my athletic attire, feeling the smooth fabric against my skin. The outfit is lightweight and easy to move in, perfect for my training sessions. I slip on a pair of sneakers and throw my hair into one giant braid.

When I return to the training area, Nanami is already there, warming up with a few stretches. I take a deep breath and walk over to him, ready to get started. We ease into my training routine practicing our punches and kicks, working on our endurance, and building our core. I take a step back and observe Nanami's form, listening to his movements.

As I stand behind Mr. Nanami, I can feel the tension in his body when he throws his punches. I can sense that his form is wrong, and I can't help but want to step in and help him.

"Stop" I semi command, "Your form is wrong," I say stepping towards him. "Is it okay if I help position you?" I ask gesturing my hands

"Sure" He responds

As I reach out to fix his form, my hand brushes against his arm, and I feel a jolt of electricity shoot through my body. I move him into position, adjusting his stance and correcting his form. As I do, I can feel his body tense up at first, but then he relaxes under my touch.

There's an unspoken tension between us, and I can't help but feel a rush of emotions. I'm not sure if it's the intimacy of the moment or if there's something more between us. But I push those thoughts aside and focus on helping him.

After a few more adjustments, I step back and let him continue the routine. Eventually, we wrap up our training session, and Nanami and I move into a cool-down workout to relax our muscles. As we were stretching, he asked me for some feedback on his performance.

I take a deep breath and think for a second before I replied, "Mr. Nanami, your punches are powerful, but your form is off. You need to relax more, be more fluid." I pause for a moment before continuing, "You're a tense fighter," I replied. "That's great when you're on the defensive, but you need to be more adaptable. You have to be able to make fast, small, delicate movements; adapt to your opponent's movements, not just overpower them. I hope you don't mind me saying this but I think you could benefit from some more regular training sessions," I said, tentatively.

"I agree, Ari. I can see that I have a lot to learn from you. Your combat skills are impressive, it's almost inspiring." he says

I couldn't help but smiles and blush at that little statement, I turn my head away before responding, "Thank you, Mr. Nanami"

We exchanged a few more pleasantries before parting ways

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Nanami left, I spent another hour training with my karambit blades. The sound of metal clashing against metal was music to my ears as I worked on my techniques. However, my concentration was interrupted when I heard a commotion somewhere in the school. It was distant, but it was enough to catch my attention. Weapons in hand I make my way to the commotion with Yukio close behind me.

As the sound of chaos and destruction filled the air, I could sense that something was terribly wrong. Suddenly, I heard screams and the sound of glass shattering. I rushed to the source of the noise, with my blades up in a defensive position. As I arrived, I hear two people in the heat of a vicious fight. From the sound and smell of it, it was Nanami and.

Yuji?

But he sounds different and he smells different.

Could this be the cursed spirit that lives inside him? Sukuna....

Nanami was trying to contain Yuji as best as he could but was eventually kicked into a wall completely stunned. I knew I had to act fast to save him," Yukio Stay' I command before approaching. With a burst of adrenaline, I charged forward and slashed at Sukuna with my karambit knives. The sound of metal clashing against bone filled the air as I fought to keep him away from Nanami.

Despite my blindness, I could feel the tension and power of Sukuna's attacks. But I also knew that I had to protect Nanami at all costs. I could hear him groaning in pain, and I knew that I had to do everything in my power to keep him alive.

For the first few moments, I felt like I was holding my own. I was able to dodge Sukuna's attacks and land a few strikes of my own. But soon enough, I realized that it was a lost cause. Sukuna was simply too powerful.

Despite my best efforts, I found myself getting worn down. He was relentless, and I couldn't keep up. My movements became sluggish, and my attacks lacked their usual precision. It was as if all my training and experience had been for nothing.

Sukuna's attacks were powerful and relentless, and I could feel my strength fading fast. I knew I needed to do something, anything, to protect Nanami. So, I made a quick decision and used my body as a shield while yelling at Yukio, "YUKIO GET HELP! AGHk-" Sukuna's cursed energy hit me hard, and I felt the searing pain of his attack, but I held on tight, refusing to let go. I can hear Yukio running out barking for help as Sukuna continues to attack me several times back to back.

Hopefully, I can buy him some time.

Sukuna surprisingly stops and takes a step back, "I admire your tenacity, little warrior," Sukuna chuckles, feeling the power struggle within Yuji's body. "You fought with such ferocity, even to protect someone who you barely know"

"Fuck off!" I hiss

"Ha! I like your spirit, girl," Sukuna says, amused. "You fought like a true warrior, and I was honored to spar with you."

Breathless and defeated, I lay on the ground, waiting for Sukuna to strike me down. But to my surprise, he stopped and spoke.

"You're quite skilled, for a human. But despite your amazing skill you fight at a disadvantage, you have the potential to be so much more." I hear him grunt in irritation, "Damn brat. I don't have much time doll, I can feel the brat fighting back for control, so before I go I'd like to leave you with a parting gift."

"Keep your fucking gif-" I say before getting snatched up by my hair. I scream out in pain as he forcefully holds my head back. I then hear him bite his hand and hold it over my face. He began to drip blood onto my face and into my mouth. He held me so tight that I couldn't fight back. He then practically throws me down to the ground, I couldn't react in time so I hit the concrete hard. I try to raise my body and stand but stumble back down to my knees as I start to feel an intense rush of euphoria coursing through my veins. It's a feeling I've never experienced before, and for a moment, I'm lost in its intoxicating embrace.

But just as quickly as the feeling comes, it's gone, replaced by a searing pain in my eyes. It's like someone is squeezing them in a vice, and I can feel a burning sensation spreading through my head.

I try to rub my eyes to ease the pain, but it only seems to make it worse; fortunately, the pain finally subsides after a few minutes. I blink several times in disbelief. Colors and shapes begin to form before my eyes, and I realize that I can see. At first, everything was just a blur of colors and shapes. I couldn't make out anything clearly, but I could see light for the first time in years. It was overwhelming and painful, like needles poking into my eyes. I squinted and rubbed them, trying to adjust to the sudden influx of visual information. As my eyes gradually adapted, the shapes and colors began to coalesce into recognizable forms

I looked down at my hands and saw them in a whole new light. I had gotten used to not being able to see them, but now they were right in front of me, and I could see every detail. The lines on my palms, the curve of my fingers, the scars and calluses from years of training. It was overwhelming.

"What did you do," I asked with tears welling up in my eyes starting to freak out from this sudden miracle.

Can you call it a miracle?

Sukuna smirks. "Until we meet again, little warrior" With that, Sukuna's control over Yuji weakens, and he disappears, leaving Yuji in control again.

The Vibe:

YKWIM?-Yot Club

I couldn't believe it, I had my sight back after 10 years. But it was too much for me to handle all at once. The light was blinding and everything was too vivid. My senses were heightened to an almost unbearable level. I could smell every single scent in the air, hear every single sound around me, and feel every single texture on my skin. I was completely overwhelmed and overstimulated.

The taste of blood was still in my mouth and it was even stronger now, like it was amplified along with my other senses. I was hyper-aware of every drop of blood on my skin and Mr. Nanami's as well. I couldn't even stand the sound of my breathing. It was all too much.

Feeling like I was about to lose control, I closed my eyes and covered my ears with my hands. It helped a little, but I could still feel the overwhelming sensations. I needed to take a moment to collect myself before I could face what was happening.

Yuji approached slowly, his voice shaking as he spoke. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyone," he said, his eyes filled with tears. "I couldn't control myself. Sukuna took over."

I could hear the fear and remorse in his voice, but I couldn't bear to look at him, "Please stay back, Yuji," I said, my voice shaky. "Please, just stay back." I tried to stand up, but my legs felt weak and shaky, and I stumbled.

Nanami grabbed my arm, using his other hand to support himself as we leaned on each other. "We need to get out of here," he said, his voice strained. "Yuji, help us." Nanami placed his hand gently on my shoulder, trying to calm me down. "Ari, it's okay. Sukuna is gone now. Yuji is back in control," he said soothingly.

I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes, feeling a little more in control of my senses. I could see Nanami's worried expression and Yuji's somber one. I looked down at my hands and saw them shaking, covered in my own blood and Sukuna's.

"I... I can see," I said, still in disbelief. "It's been so long." Suddenly I hear barking and someone running. I look and see Yukio and Shoko.

Shoko rushes over to us and immediately starts checking on Nanami's injuries, quickly working to stop his bleeding and stabilize him. She then turns her attention to me, I'm still visibly shaken and overstimulated from the sudden return of her sight.

Shoko starts talking to me in a soft, soothing tone, trying to calm me down and assess my condition. She asks me questions about how I'm feeling and what I'm experiencing, and I try my best to answer her, though my mind is still reeling from everything that's happened.

After a few moments, Shoko administers a sedative to help me calm down and rest. As the medication starts to take effect, my senses begin to dull, and the overwhelming sensations start to fade away.

I feel a sense of relief wash over me as I start to relax, knowing that Shoko is here to take care of us and that we're in good hands. After I've calmed a bit I stand and pick up Yukio; as I hold my dog in my arms, tears streaming down my face. Yukio nuzzles into my chest, and I can feel her little heart beating against mine. For a moment, I forget about the chaos that just happened and the pain in my body. It's just me and Yukio, reunited after all this time.

I bury my face in her fur, taking in her scent and feeling her warmth against me. It's a small moment of peace amid all the chaos. And for that, I'm grateful.

Shoko and Yuji look at me with concern, but they don't say anything. They know I need this moment with my dog. After a few minutes, I finally pull away from Yukio and wipe my tears, "Where are the others?" I ask

"Come I'll take you to them," Shoko says

Yuji helps Nanami up and we all walk to regroup with everyone else. We make it to the infirmary where the others were, fortunately, it was only a few of us; Nanami, Yuji, Shoko, Panda, Inumaki, Nobara, Megumi, Ijichi, and myself. No one is dead, just a lot of injuries. Everyone checks in with each other nursing each other's wounds. I stay with Nanami as Shoko attends to Nanami's wounds; she wraps up with him and moves to the next person.

As I look at Nanami, tears begin to stream down my face. "Is everyone going to be okay?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Nanami looks at me with a reassuring smile. "Yes, we'll all be fine. We'll recover quickly don't worry" he says.

"Okay," I say beginning to feel nauseous because of the strong scent of blood

Nanami puts a hand on my shoulder. "Ari, are you okay?" he asks, concern etched on his face.

I shake my head, my eyes still brimming with tears. "No, not really. This was extremely triggering for me. The smell of blood is making me sick and I'm feeling pretty overstimulated and a bit manic. I need to go home." I confess.

"I don't think you should be alone right now. I'm worried about you." Nanami responds, "What can I do to help?"

"Can-Can you help me get home?" I ask weakly

"Of course" He raises out of his seat and grunts a little from the pain before standing, "Come" He puts his jacket over me and Yukio while wrapping an arm around me to help me walk, I sense he needed the help too, "I'm taking Ari home," he said with a tone that said don't ask questions. Everyone looked concerned but nodded in agreement.

Nanami leads me to his car and opens the door to the passenger side and help me in my seat; he even went as far as to buckle me in. He then climbed in next to me and closed the door, grunting slightly, and began to pull out of the parking lot of the school. The drive was about 20 min, It's almost overwhelming to see everything in such detail after being blind for so long. As we drive down the road, I can see people walking on the sidewalk, cars passing us by, and buildings towering up to the sky. We arrive outside my home and although the rides calmed me down a bit I couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that I had been carrying with me since my encounter with Sukuna. I didn't want to be alone right now, not after everything that had happened. So, I turned to Mr. Nanami and simply say, "Stay with me? Just for the night? I don't know why but I don't feel safe."

At first, he hesitates to answer but finally just nods yes in response, bringing me a sense of relief.

-------------------------------------------------------------

What should Ari do now that she has her sight back? I think it's time for her to have some fun!

#JJk #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #nanami #kento nanami #jujutsu nanami #yuji #itadori #nobara #fushiguro #tojo #sukuna #nanamin #nanami x reader #nanami fluff #nanami smut #black girl oc #blackgirl #jjk fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction

[manty-monster]

It's always messed me up how manageable some symptoms of BPD could be with the right communication and understanding of the mental illness.

It's a disability, and like many disabilities, there are accessibility options, and there are concessions that can be made, knowledge that can be expanded on. Having a relationship when you have a disability can be work; sometimes, you or your partner may have to help each other. This shouldn't be different for mental disabilities.

So I wanted to come up with some basic practices that can help you if you or your loved one has BPD.

disclaimer - this is one person with BPD's opinion and may not be true for everyone, communication is key, BPD is a complex but manageable illness.

Understanding what a trigger is, neurobiologically. When a person with BPD has a trigger, their brain floods with chemicals, driving them into panic. The things they say and do should be taken under that consideration. This is not to say dismiss what's being said. There is still a conscious mind behind the words and the things and those topics may hint at a core insecurity that should be discussed later, but understand on a conscious level that your loved one may not necessarily be in a clear state of mind.

Stop responding to everything at face value. Building off #1, once you recognize that your partner is emotionally compromised, with a disorder that creates black and white thinking aka splitting, or heightened emotional responses, you can't respond to everything in the same way you would respond to a casual question. If your partner hits you with the classic "Are you mad at me?" that should be a cue to you to try and explore that more deeply.

Initiate open communication. ☆ Which brings us to communication. Open, loving communication has to come from a place of empathy first and foremost. It requires briefly stepping into your partner's shoes in communication. It's not easy to steel your immediate reaction when someone says something untrue or hurtful to you, but it does become easier if you can recognize the emotional meaning behind words as well as the literal meaning. "Are you mad?" becomes helpful inside-shorthand for "Hey, I'm feeling insecure right now. Could you help me manage that?" rather than a frustrating phrase. I had to put a star there because holy shit is it important to understand emotive communication, heightened emotions, and cognitive empathy/perspective-taking when communicating with someone with BPD. This one's gonna involve some metacognition, folks.

Calming techniques. As you learn more about each other, try to include learning what calms you or your partner down. Comforting/soothing actions can help the chemicals from being triggered or splitting to dissipate faster. Learning what makes your partner calm or happy will go a long way towards easy caring management of some symptoms. While things like "Please calm down" can make things much worse, a simple "Can you tell me about [aspect of their special interest]?" "Do you want me to turn my webcam on?" "Can I put [favorite band/show] on?" "Do you want to be held?" are much more personal, show you have an interest in helping them feel better, and can diffuse a situation. Context matters, of course. Sometimes all that's needed is "I'm listening, I love you."

Understand your partner's symptoms. Looking up symptoms of BPD and understanding them is crucial to understanding what is going on. For instance, people with BPD have a warped sense of object permanence, and sending small messages while you're away can be a way to manage this. Rejection sensitivity, which is also seen in other neurodiversities like ADHD, autism, and CPTSD (which shares like 99% of symptoms and cause with BPD), can be managed by establishing a vocabulary together to navigate rejection, trust, and symptom recognition.

Understand your partner. Every person is different, and their history and trauma are unique. Some people with BPD were neglected and abandoned, while others were parentified or victims of other forms of abuse. Many people with BPD have other comorbid neurodivergences. It's important to be curious about your own and your partner's minds. Preventing a trigger is much better than resolving one. Knowing the things that could cause yourself or your partner to split or experience another symptom can allow you to discuss it beforehand, even set up a plan to prevent it. This can include making plans for things to do in your or their absence, having an object to hold to help remember that you or they are loved (such as a bracelet or stuffed animal), or setting an alarm or using post-it notes to remember important dates or schedules. Using self-aids is a good thing!

TLDR: So much of BPD can be almost totally mitigated with empathy, pre-planning, and understanding. Having a partner with a mental illness isn't always easy, but we could be doing a lot better for people with CPTSD/BPD, and frankly, for anyone with a mental or physical disability than we are right now with leave him sis dating culture. Obviously, this whole post depends on both people being able to introspect enough to enact these things. If you have BPD, mindfulness, CBT (the therapy kind), and DBT can be very helpful for consciously managing your way through triggers.

Sources:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35357883/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3182008/

https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/January-2022/Understanding-Mental-Illness-Triggers

https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjc.12216

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parentification

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-ptsd/202006/is-it-borderline-personality-disorder-or-is-it-really-complex-ptsd

https://psychcentral.com/ptsd/how-ptsd-cptsd-and-bpd-can-impact-relationships

https://mark-havens.medium.com/understanding-cognitive-empathy-the-key-to-better-relationships-and-communication-8b3ea7a4370c

https://www.youtube.com/@HowtoADHD

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6026651/

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/affective-perspective-taking

you made it this far heres a cool storm i saw from a plane

#mentalhealth #BPD #CPTSD #relationships #triggers #trauma #empathy #communication. #dont follow me this isn't my usual content #check bio #stop giving up on your partners with disabilities before making accessibility provisions. #idk how long ive had this one stewing in my brain #🔮🔍📑ᵐᵃⁿᵗʸᵖᵒˢᵗ✔️🔮

[zahri-melitor]

DC Universe Holiday Special #1 (2008)

Another of my favourite Christmas Specials.

The Man In Red – Santa Claus. An origin story for Santa Claus, modelled on Clark’s histoy. (Hits all the beats of a Last Son of Krypton recounting)

Somewhere Beyond the Sea – Aquaman! You know who I haven’t seen in any of the compilations yet? Arthur! We’ve had Garth, but no Arthur. In any case this is uh quite a story. Arthur rescues a couple lost at sea in a boat, the woman extremely pregnant. He's guided to shore by his father's lighthouse...only to realise it was a star behind the lighthouse, not the lighthouse itself. When the couple gets ashore they're met by two men 'dressed like kings' (this is the point when I groaned). Yes, Arthur's the third Magi/Wise Man here.

Instinctively, willingly, I join them and knee before her and her unborn child. I look at the other men, who came bearing gifts. I feel ashamed because... "I'm sorry. I have no gifts to give." "No, Sea King, you gave me the most important gift of all." They walk away. I know I will never see her again, never meet her child, I should feel empty, but this is the most special of nights. I fight every urge to join them. Instead I make my way to my one true home, the sea.

Good King Wenceslas – this is a Paul Dini and Dustin Nguyen team, if you need selling on it. It's just the main verses of the Christmas Carol, but it's done as an Elseworlds where the King is the Bat and the Page is a Robin (The peasant is Alfred).

A Day Without Sirens – Commissioner Gordon, Batman, Oracle. The premise is the city bands together for a day without the need for emergency calls or police intervention. Jim gets a little bit of hope (Oracle actually diverted the phones for a day and had Supergirl doing all the work, as a Christmas present for her dad).

Reminiscent of and in conversation with The Silent Night of the Batman from Batman #219.

It’s a Wonderful Night – Nightwing and Robin. This one I know inside and out. Tim goes to a Christmas Eve showing of It’s a Wonderful Life because it was Jack’s favourite Christmas movie. He runs into Owen Mercer there for the same reason, which makes things awkward as their dads killed each other. Dick, who’s been looking for Tim, arrives and gives Tim his Christmas present: one of Dick’s original costumes, a gift that he manages to sneak in RIGHT under the deadline of oncoming events, as Battle for the Cowl starts only three months later.

Christmas With The Beetles – Blue Beetle. The story of four generations of a criminal family and breaking the cycle, through the lens of three generations of Blue Beetle. (It's sweet. It's exactly the sort of ethos I love to see in a Blue Beetle story).

An Angel Told Me – Huntress. 'Teacher!Helena and her students'. In this one Helena lends a hand to one of her students, Alejandro, who is about to be suspended for bullying and who has an abusive homelife. She gets the kid's father locked up for drug possession and illegal firearms, so he'll be placed in care with his grandmother, and gets his suspension transferred to helping her with the 'Reach' program, which is community assistance for disabled students. (The depiction of autism in this is very stereotyped, and it's clearly not the ONLY disability in play)

The Night Before Christmas – Teen Titans. They all go to a Christmas market.

Jaime and Traci are an adorable couple in this.

But the meat of the story is Cassie and Tim, who are both more settled now, after One Year Later has finally fully spooled out, and able to talk about their losses.

(Also I've always adored the art and colour in this story, which is by Michael Dimotta and of a style you really don't see in superhero comics much)

Party Animal – JLA. John Stewart and Roy Harper capture Shaggyman right during the start of the JLA holiday party. Vixen, who's organising it, orders them both up there asap so the two decide to bring Shaggy along.

It's very much an office party.

Let There Be Light – Doctor Light. This is basically a character history piece of Kimiyo Hoshi for people unfamiliar with her backstory and motivations. The villain fight she's in knocks out the Metropolis power grid, so Doctor Light turns it back on.

#DC Santa read along