#i feel that way sometimes

[roosterbox]

Me, scrolling through my dashboard and seeing cool artwork from that one fandom my mutual likes that I haven’t been able to bring myself to blacklist yet:

Ah yes.

The goth lesbians.

#lol #that’s the reason I haven’t yet #the fanart is nice #I feel that way sometimes #sometimes there’s a ship that I just CANNOT with #and I’m about three seconds away from blacklisting it #but then #I see nice fanart #and they are safe for another day #good fanart can go a loooooong way #towards warming outsiders up to your ship

[pax-has-thoughts]

Anytime someone mentions "quality of life" I want to scream. Disabled people's lives are of quality. You don't need to devalue us to acknowledge our struggles. Stop telling people their lives aren't worth living if they can't be lived the way society expects.

#i know a lot of disabled people do feel like life isnt worth living because of our disabilities #i feel that way sometimes #its hard #but your life does have value #no matter how much you struggle #you are loved and valued #even if you dont feel like it #i know i love you #i love the disabled community and i care for each and every one of you in one shape or form #pax's thoughts #actually disabled #disabled #disability

[variksel]

i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media

#sorry but genuinely sometimes i feel like we live in a fucking dystopia #i get ads of chat bots designed to look like cute girls who will listen to your problems and it. god #its so unbelievably strange in some indescribable way #how am i supposed to explain that the word unalive makes me want to tear my hair out #vent #rant #idk

[redysetdare]

Sometimes...characters being in a romantic relationship is worse.

#text #sometimes it's the most boring way to have characters interact #sometimes it's worse than the chemistry they have as literally any other kind of relationship #sometimes their platonic dynamic is better #sometimes their hostile dynamic is better #sometimes their dynamic is better if it's anything other than romance #because maybe them falling into generic romance is how you ruin their characters. #aro #aromantic #aroace #i only tag these because it feels relevant to why i feel this way

[broh3m3]

"I-It's a matter of life or death!"

#twisted wonderland #twst #jamil viper #ace trappola #kalim al asim #brohemeart #drawn sometime last year #everytime jamil says he hopes theres no bugs in the guest room i feel a little bad cause theres no way ramshackles not infested

[ale-arro]

been going a little bit insane about this sentence from Ace by Angela Chen for the past week

#replace this with any other type of significant relationship too #also! this book actually rules btw i really recommend it #i didnt read it when it first cane out bc i was like. well i am already pretty familiar with asexuality and not rly interested in 101 stuff #but it turns out it doesnt feel 101-y at all its a super awesome piece of queer theory and also chen has Good opinions #and not weird watered down ones that i am sometimes wary of in aspec communities (frankly especially ace ones) #i think maybe if more people approached asexuality the way chen does (including and maybe even especially ace people) #i would be more inclined to still ID as ace #but anyways! #aro #aromantic #<- tag selections that reflect how i personally engage with this quote #also #described in alt text #also also #j tag #:/ #aro media

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

different POV of this comic

x

#ethan winters #karl heisenberg #wintersberg #resident evil #resident evil fanart #rebhfun #resident evil village #resident evil 8 #re8 #i dont think karl would ever be the kind of guy to outwardly verbally say “i love you” #not to say he DOESNT love ethan #he just has a lot of trouble saying those three words out loud lol #he shows his love in a different way but i think its hard sometimes #had a conversation with my friend and i think if ethan and karl were to get into a argument karl woul definetly not apologize #he would definetly feel bad and sulk a lot #but i dont think he would ever bring himself to say hes sorry #hes a little too arrogant and emotionally stunted to do that #sorry i like thinking about all the aspects of relationship dynamics #hed apologize by making ethan a robot that kills people who r mean to him IDK LOL

[barghest-land]

red dead

#nothing too deep i got inspired by fish tail on the horse.... #i hate red color by the way #and i dont like using it in my art much #but i gotta admit it feels right sometimes #barghestland #rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #art #artists on tumblr #rachel the horse :))))))) i love her sm

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

christ sometimes I just wanna. steal a time machine & go back & sit down next to my 9-year-old self and just like. let them pull out their pokemon card binder & gush about their holographic gyarados or whatever. I'd just smile & ask questions about motherfukcing bulbasaur & tell my kid self that I thought they were a neat person, & someday they'd find other people who thought so too.

like i'm a grown adult who honestly finds most kids stuff boring, but. damn if i could go back & hang out with my baby self & listen to them ramble...just so they knew someone was listening. i would in a heartbeat. thinking about u kid

#wouldn't roll my eyes or check my phone or get bored or nothing #I'd just listen to that little dork & smile & encourage them & let them explain how their favorite gameboy games worked #i was the kind of kid my adult self would find annoying & uninteresting but like #most of the actual adults in my childhood felt that way too. including my dang parents. #and ya know sometimes they showed it. a lot of times without realizing it. and that messes a kid up #if you don't make an effort kids WILL recognize your disinterest and lack of attention. #kids deserve to have caregivers who show interest and engagement #even when it's over stuff that adults find boring. especially then maybe #your kid doesn't have to be fun or interesting or easy or well behaved to deserve positive attention #they deserve positive attention because they are YOUR KID #if love is unconditional then DISPLAYS of LOVE and AFFECTION must also be unconditional #not something that must be earned #telling your kid that you love them is not enough. that is step one out of like a thousand #if you just tell your kid you love them but you don't demonstrate affection and interest and patience and warmth and etcetera #your kid isn't gonna feel loved! I Love You will just become a trite phrase that they regard with mistrust! #bitch you gotta FOLLOW THROUGH

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[mobius-m-mobius]

Loki 2x01 // 2x02

#mobius #loki #lokius #mcuedit #lokiedit #marveledit #loki spoilers #owen wilson #tom hiddleston #thinking about how mobius crowds loki's space as much as possible to ground them and leave no doubt he won't leave their side #and in contrast loki being so so delicate and gentle telling mobius it's okay to let go if that's what he needs sometimes #bc for sure he's hardly had a chance to explore his own emotions and feelings in the same way loki rarely if ever is given the grace of tim #or someone freely giving undivided attention to hear them out start to finish aka i'm insane over them <33 #(also yes i rewatched the manhandling for like half an hour i'm only human after all 😔) #loki s2 spoilers #marvel #owenwilsonedit #dianagifs

[altschmerzes]

gen fic appreciation post. i love you gen fic. i love you serious, plot-heavy gen fic. i love you funny, lighthearted gen fic. i love you angsty whump and h/c gen fic. i love you emotionally complex and intimate gen fic. i love you super long chaptered gen fic. i love you oneshot gen fic. i love you strictly canon adherent gen fic. i love you alternate universe gen fic. i love you crossover gen fic. i love you gen fic about queer identity and relationships. i love you found family gen fic. i love you gen fic.

(edited to add: by ‘gen fic’ this post is NOT referring to rating. it is referring to fic that is not about and does not prominently feature romance, regardless of rating.)

#gav gab #thinking abt the way people talk about gen fic today #and it's often so....... reductive even when they're trying to be complimentary #'gen fic often has so much more PLOT and REAL CONCRETE EVENTS' like sure i guess sometimes #but heavily emotional character relationship based gen fic also exists and deserves attention #it just feels like a reflection of the way people talk about aro people having 'so much more time to get things done' without romance yknow #anyways. gen fic is so many things and i love it.

[dykefaggotry]

that one poll about if you'd be friends w someone who cheated and the comments/tags were an all out blood bath got me thinking so

#infidelity tw #cheating tw #I'm curious bc a lot of ppl on that poll were Very very heated one way or the other #and I'm wondering how that applies to fiction #I myself don't seek it out but I don't mind it and sometimes it can be compelling in a story #it adds some Flavor and it's not like these characters are real yk? #but I get the feeling some people avoid it in a way they might avoid like. dead dove shit

[canisalbus]

do you pencil traditionally and then colour digitally, or do you just have a very convincing digital pencil brush? I really love the organic, sketchy feel of your work.

I always sketch and ink on paper first, then scan the piece and color it digitally.

#haven't quite learned how to do the whole process digitally from start to finish in a way that feels natural and satisfying #I enjoy the physicality and lo-fi nature of pens and paper #and the quick and easy coloring and editing possibilities of digital art #99.9% of my art is made this way #sometimes I go fully traditional but never fully digital #answered #spadefish

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinkin' about Bardaby and his illusion smoke...

#went on yet another bardaby bender. these are only part of it lmao #i am often seized by the fatal need to Draw Barnaby In Some Shape Or Form #but yes. thinking very hard about the illusion smoke #i feel like sometimes he uses it recreationally... mixed with other stuff to dilute it ofc #but it keeps the color! #im imagining that it can act sort of like a Mood Ring! #the core color that he exhales yk yk! #but using it full strength for proper illusions and such #he's gotta be careful about it! it'll fuck him up! #he's built up Quite The Resistance to illusions and illusion magic over his life #but everyone has their limits... #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #IM NOT USED TO DRAWING SMOKE. IT LOOKS BAD LMAO #i'll have to work on that! look up tutorials! Practice! #anyhow i think the other scribbles need their own post #its mainly bardaby and our little warlock... #there are three ways i love drawing barnaby #i love scribbling him angry. i love scribbling him with howdy. and i love scribbling him being soft w/ wally #side note i realized earlier that part of the reason why i love characters who are just so much bigger than everyone else #ex: poppy & barnaby #is bc then its like. they're the smaller guys' personal jungle gym lmao #free bed! free climbing wall! free bean bag! free Getting Tossed Around!!!! #all wrapped up with the wonderful bow of Friend!!!! #...my touch starvedness is showing isnt it. away with ye demons!!!

[uncanny-tranny]

Love disabled people who just lie about their disabilities to nosy, intrusive questions. Sorry, yeah, I lost my arm in the wash one day. It's funny how that happens! Oh, I got back pain from saving nineteen children from a burning fire department <3

#disability #sometimes lying is just. funny. SORRY. #look like... whether you lie about why you're disabled you're still disabled and it shouldn't have to factor into how you're treated... #...if it isn't relevant to your care needs or care plan. #like. if you lost your arm does it matter if you say you lost it in the wash like a sock or tell your actual story... #...like either way you still /do not have an arm/. that doesn't change if you lie or not #anyway. huge defense for a post that probably didn't need said defense #sometimes you just feel like lying in such a grandiose way that people don't know if they SHOULDN'T believe you #i think my lie will be that a powerful necromancer preformed Emergency Bone Shaving on one leg only... #...and he used the bone shavings to raise a skeleton army that looks like My skeleton but only on the legs