#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.

[inkskinned]

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big. #the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort. #but it still feels like... #when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing. #they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly? #and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go) #and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW." #''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.'' #and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

[dibbiedabbiedoobie]

Day 3: Hunt

This is probably the only voretober piece we’ll get done during October. Life has been really hectic lately, and we haven’t had the time for a lot of personal projects anymore. I do hope you like this one, though; James & Ashley are characters of mine from an unrelated book I’m working on. (I did kind of lose it when I realized I was writing vore fanfiction of my own book, in an amused way.)

Word Count: 3592

Tags: Safe vore, non-fatal vore, fearplay, same-size vore

Hunt (v): pursue and kill (a wild animal) for sport or food.

James was hungry. This was not a new phenomenon by any means; he was always a little bit hungry, it felt like. But this was a different sort of hunger, one not sated by ordering Domino's or Panda Express for the 4th time in a week. No, this was for something... larger, and meatier. Living.

He wasn't quite sure how he managed to swallow his meals whole, nor why it was only sometimes that he found himself craving them. It had happened to his father, and his grandmother, and they had no answers either. They'd only taught him how to deal with it, where to go hunting, how to avoid being caught, how to soothe scared prey. Quite a few "how"s, but no "why"s. After his teenage years, the curiosity for the latter had waned. He'd grown up and lost the child-like wonder at why he could do what other people couldn't, too busy with the daily toil to care. Between work, debt, and life, he had come to much appreciate the relative simplicity of "how" compared to "why."

Of course, it was a relative simplicity. This James was very aware of as he stalked the darkened streets. He was tall-ish, about  5'10, and of average build; not the most threatening, but still a big enough man to be avoided this late. His dark, oversized hoodie probably wasn't helping either, but he didn't mind that. He just kept his head down, heightened senses on the lookout for prey. In this part of town, with the seedy bars and even seedier strip clubs, it shouldn't be hard to find someone wandering alone.

It was in the alley next to a busy bar that he saw her, a young woman alone, leaning against a wall and vomiting. Her hair was swept back in beautiful auburn curls, complimenting her tight blue mini dress, white stilettos, and pale clutch. If he'd met her inside, and if he weren't so hungry, he might have tried to take her home. It made his skin crawl, taking advantage of her vulnerability like this, and he could really only hope she wouldn't fight him too much.

He crept up on her slowly, mindful to stay in her blind spot as she wiped her mouth and rubbed her face. From what little he could see, her make up was smudged, mascara bleeding in a way that looked like she'd been crying. Biting back an apology, James grabbed her, pulling her flush against his chest and clamping a hand over her mouth.

"I promise I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered, a little bit frantic. "I'm going to scare you, but I promise I mean it."

Then, before she could react, he shoved her head into his mouth. She fought him surprisingly hard for all the shock he'd assumed she was in, but the angle was too awkward for her to gain much leverage. He worked steadily but quickly down her body, pulling in her shoulders, then chest. Her hands opened to claw at nothing, and her clutch clattered against the concrete.  

Around her hips, James reared back, bringing her flailing legs into the air to allow gravity to plunge her downwards - one particularly strong kick sent one of her shoes flying behind him, bouncing and landing on the ground with a dull thunk. Her clothes were rough against his tongue and throat, but her skin was sweet and smooth; he wished he could have spent more time savoring it.

Instead, her legs quickly disappeared past his lips, and he plucked her shoe from her foot preemptively; he wasn't particularly keen to see what she could do to his insides with stilettos of all things. Then, with a final swallow, he brought the last of her down into his gullet. His fingers found his way to his throat and brushed against the bulge as it worked down, disappearing beneath his collarbone.

Then, James allowed himself to pause, huffing out the breath he'd been holding. He braced himself against the wall with a hand as his stomach swelled out with the last of the woman. The hoodie, to him, did very little to disguise the writhing, person-sized bulge beneath his skin. He drowned in the fabric, contrasting oddly with the way it stretched more tightly over his middle. But it only had to pass as vaguely normal to strangers, and it had served him well in the past, even with meals writhing harder than the woman already was.

Tenderly, he ran a hand over his oversized stomach; he didn't like the way she fought him, but he was so full. He often found he would forget how this completed him, with how infrequently he found himself partaking in live meals, which meant each time felt like rediscovering new heights of pleasure. Something primal in him was sated, and now he simply wanted to sleep.

Unfortunately, to do that he would have to get home. He still didn't like the feeling of his prey still struggling, but he liked the idea of being caught in an alley talking to his stomach even more. He had no idea if she had friends expecting her, so he gathered her things and set a casually hurried pace to his car. It wasn't far - he didn't like to go more than a couple blocks from it, not when he's be hauling a hundred, maybe a hundred-fifty pounds back with him. Tonight, he was lucky enough that his return was uneventful, and he slid back into his Honda Accord.

Here, behind tinted windows and a locked door, he truly relaxed. He'd adjusted his seat before he left to accommodate his gut, so he only had to sit down and settle in. Sighing, he ran a hand over his stomach again; his prey had stopped squirming at some point on the walk to his car, and now she simply sat, curled up and breathing. He could feel how tense she was, bracing herself as best she could in the soft, shifting environment of his belly. By now, he imagined she'd realized she was safe now, after being stuck inside of him without thinning air or tingling skin, not that it would make her feel much better about being eaten in the first place.

Gently, he prodded at her back. "Hey, are you okay in there?"

Unlike most of his catches, Ashley didn't start squirming again now that he was giving her attention. He'd expected it; they often would start fighting him and demanding freedom once they realized he'd actually talk to them. Not her, though. Instead, softly, she replied, "Yeah. Cramped, but okay."

"I can't really fix that part, sorry."

She snorted. "I'd suggest letting me out, but I imagine if that was going to be an option, you wouldn't have eaten me in the first place."

James cringed, though she couldn't see it. "Ah... yeah, no. But I'm really not going to hurt you. I'll let you out in the morning, okay?"

He tensed then, expecting the flurry of movement that usually came with people realizing they'd have to spend the night tucked inside a stomach. But again, she didn't do anything more than shift a bit. "Could I at least get your name?"

"Ah, James. My name's James. What's yours?"

"Ashley."

"It's good to meet you, Ashley." Absently, James began to stroke her back. "...You're taking this really well."

Ashley sighed, squirming a bit. "I'm too tired to freak out right now. Maybe in the morning, I'll lose it, but right now I can't bring myself to care all that much if I'm not going to die."

She sounded sad, weary almost. James found he didn't like that tone of voice from her, and he frowned. There was obviously a longer history to her, but he was far from entitled to hear it if she wasn't going to share - he didn't even know her last name.

"Well... I got your things, by the way. So you don't have to worry about that. And I should have some things that fit you back at home." James bit his lip, thought about her bleeding mascara and her sad eyes, then added, "I know this is probably not the time, but I've been told I'm a good listener."

Softly, Ashley chuckled, her voice a bit less weary than before, and a bit less sad. "Maybe tomorrow. I think pouring my heart out to you would be a little easier once I know what you look like."

Right. She hadn't actually seen his face. Usually, that was for the better; he found it easier to deal with the moral and instinctual quandaries with the knowledge that he was just some faceless, oddly benevolent predator. They'd see him afterwards when he let them out, of course, but it's not like they stuck around very long given the chance. Now, though, he was feeling rather regretful for it. There was an odd loss of intimacy that he hadn't even realized he was missing, and he ached for it.

"Tomorrow then." James sat up a bit more, then settled himself in to drive. It was definitely awkward and uncomfortable, but he had plenty of experiencing maneuvering with and around an engorged stomach. It was an uneventful commute, thankfully. He's had to explain himself to a cop once, earlier in his career as a hunter, with a belly full of prey that had been particularly feisty and had only just settled. In his panic to get home, he'd been speeding and had been caught for it. Luckily, he'd gotten off with a warning, but now he followed every single traffic law perfectly after a hunt.

By the time he was home, Ashley had gone more or less limp. He wasn't sure if she was still awake or not, but feeling her relaxed made him feel relaxed. Now, he really just wanted to sleep, even more because his prey seemed to be dozing inside of him. It was his favorite part of the night, the time when the person in his stomach finally settled down and passed out. Even if they had flung vitriol and fought him to exhaustion, they always would seem so delicate and vulnerable like that. It was a softness that he doubted many people would be privy to, and for all that had come before, James still found himself respecting that privilege.

He truly didn't want to hurt anyone. It made him feel terrible, having people struggle until they couldn't anymore. It clawed at him, even long after his prey of the night was gone. He knew they wouldn't be reporting him to the police - "someone ate me, but didn't kill me, then let me go after giving me breakfast and clean clothes" wouldn't exactly fly on a police report. But he did know them as people who probably would never want to see him again, and would avoid him given the chance, and that felt horrible.

If he had a choice, he really would try to find someone he knew to eat on these odd occasions, so they wouldn't be so frightened of him. It was what he'd done for years until he'd been forced to move. With no friends in the area and an unwillingness to risk his job by eating a coworker, he found himself stalking around areas with people he'd probably never see again anyways. He did his best to remind himself that he didn't ask to be born like this, but it was hardly helpful when people wouldn't look him in the eyes in the morning. He hoped Ashley wouldn't be like that.

James hung his keys, then locked his door behind him. The wall clock told him it was around three in the morning; not bad time for heading out around twelve. Then, he pulled off his sweatshirt. Beneath, he could make out Ashley's form more clearly, the way she was curled up within him. He traced the contour of one of her arms, hidden beneath a layer of tanned skin. His shirt rode up, not nearly big enough to reach over his gut, and he pulled that off, too.

With a bit more force, he pet Ashley's head. "You alright in there?"

In reply, Ashley wriggled weakly, muttering something soft enough that James couldn't hear. When she didn't move again with more gentle prodding, he let her be; it'd be rude to wake her up now. Instead, after setting Ashley's purse on his entryway table and her shoes beneath it, he waddled off to his bedroom. Then, he wormed himself out of his jeans into a pair of sweats before burrowing under the covers on his bed.

Despite tonight being comparatively calm, James still found himself drowsy. A full stomach always made him sleepy, even when it wasn't full of a person. When it was, though, it was a foolproof way to knock him out. With Ashley relaxed, too, he had no particular interest in trying to keep his eyes open. He really could only hope she'd be as calm in the morning as she was now.

He slept deeply that night, and dreamlessly. He woke in the morning, to the sound of birdsong and to light streaming in through his window. Yawning, he stretched, pulling loose all the muscles that had stiffened over night. Then, he groped for his phone, which told him it was around ten-thirty in the morning.

He pushed himself upright, scrubbed his eyes of gunk, then turned his eyes downward. "Good morning, if you're awake." He prodded at at Ashley's side.

She wriggled strongly, though not with panic. "Good morning." Her voice was brighter today, and he wondered if she'd been awake all that long before him.

"Freaking out yet?" He rolled out of bed, stretching again to a few satisfying cracks from his spine, then lumbered off to his bathroom.

"Not too much, no." She pressed out with a hand now, in a gentle sort of way he'd not felt before. "Could do with a stretch, though."

"I had the same idea, actually." With a grunt, James sat on the side of his tub. "Please don't fight me here; it's not going to be comfortable, but it'll be over as fast as I can manage."

Then, he clenched his stomach muscles, pushing and squeezing Ashley up and out. Obediently, she didn't struggle, but that didn't make the process particularly pleasant, only easier. He'd felt like he had turned himself inside out by the time he was done, hunched over and panting.

"You know, I'm not quite sure what I expected you to look like. I guess I had someone bigger and buffer in my head."

James glanced upwards. Ashley was analyzing him, clearly taking in his appearance. Between the bedhead and the shirtless, sort of disheveled look, he almost wished he'd had the time to make himself a bit more presentable. Granted, she was currently soaked in his spit, hair and clothes all in disarray, so maybe it was fitting.

Her brain seemed to catch up with what she said, and she hurriedly added, "Not that you look bad. It's just that you were so strong, I'd thought you'd be... bigger."

For a moment, he stared, then chuckled. "That's... probably one of the better reactions I've gotten. Not that I really blame the other people, either."

"I'm the odd one out when it comes to a lot of things," Ashley laughs, and James thought he really liked the sound of it.

He stood up, stretching again. "There are clean towels in the drawer opposite the toilet, and you're free to use anything you find. I'll leave the clothes outside the door, okay?"

Ashley stared at him, tilting her head. "You're awfully nice for a guy who eats people."

"It's the least I can do, I think." James said, and then he left, closing the door behind him.

Back in his bedroom, he dug through his closet and found the simple shirt and set of basketball shorts he'd started keeping around. He set it outside, neatly folded, then made his way to the guest bathroom with his own change of clothes. He showered and dressed quickly, then made his way to the kitchen to start breakfast.

Unsure of her diet, he put on eggs and toast, then diced up a few fruits. The sound of the shower had long stopped, and by the time he was setting the table, shuffling footsteps had started towards him.

Ashley emerged from the doorway significantly more put together than before. Her hair, now clean and dry, sat in a messy bun, and the clothes were only a little bit baggy on her. She seemed surprisingly at home for being in a stranger's house. "Breakfast, too?"

"Eggs, toast, and fruit. I wasn't sure if you ate meat or not. And like I said, it's the least I can do."

"I do eat meat, for what it's worth, but it's probably healthier for me to skip the bacon today," she snorted, then made her way to the table.

"Are you a coffee person or a tea person?" James asked as he grabbed orange juice from the fridge. He was both, personally, but didn't particularly care for either today.

"Usually coffee, but I don't mind some juice today." She glanced around at the sparse decor and furnishings, then said, "Do you live with anyone else?"

"Just me." James set down two full glasses, then the juice carton on the table.

Ashley hummed, then took a sip of her juice. "I guess it would be hard to explain the whole 'I eat people' thing to a roommate."

James snorted, sitting down opposite her at the table. "You'd be surprised. Well, surprised at my last roommate, anyways."

"Another oddball like me?" She raised a brow.

"Most would call him crazy, I think." James sighed. "I'm.. obviously not human. I'm not really sure what I am, honestly. I just know that sometimes I get really hungry. For people."

"For people."

Her tone was amused and not unkind, and he laughed. "It sounds worse when you say it out loud."

"As opposed to when you just eat the person whole?"

That got a belly laugh out of him, and he smiled softly. "I guess it's a lose-lose situation. I told my last roommate - Aaron - and he didn't really believe me until I proved it."

"And I take it that he didn't run?"

"Not even a little. He freaked out a bit, but... well, we'd known each other for years by that point. I guess that helped. If he'd done the same to me, I'd like to think I would give him the benefit of the doubt, too."

Ashley smiled around a piece of honeydew. "He sounds like a good guy."

"He was, yeah."

If she caught his phrasing, Ashley didn't show it. "Thanks for this, by the way," she poked at her half eaten eggs. "I... had a rough night last night. It feels nice to be cared for."

James didn't reply, only giving her his full attention.

"My partner and I split recently. It was... bad. Probably part of why you found me throwing up in an alley alone." She nibbled a bit more at her food. "I really just wanted to get wasted and into a stranger's bed, but I guess I had too much too fast. This was probably closer to what I really needed than a one night stand, though, as strange as it was."

James had never been all that good at verbal comfort, so he reached across the table and offered a hand. She took it, smaller fingers wrapping around his, and they sat like that for a moment before she pulled back.

The rest of breakfast went by over safer conversation topics, like work and hobbies. All the same, James enjoyed her company, and it took Ashley pushing herself back for him to realize that it was probably time for her to leave.

"Let me call you an Uber." offered James as picked up the dirty dishes and carted them to the sink.

Ashley shook her head." It's fine. I scheduled one for myself and it's just about here."

James blinked, feeling oddly disheartened. "Oh."

"I would have loved to stay, really, but my cat probably misses me by now." Ashley smiled. "He's always been clingy."

James smiled back. "Then at least let me escort you out."

He followed her out into the hall, where she grabbed her purse and slipped back into her heels. Then, she turned back to him and hugged him. He startled, then hesitantly hugged her back. He still wasn't so sure about any of this, but it seemed to be working out okay.

Out of the window, he saw a car pull into his driveway, and Ashley pulled away from him. "That's my ride," she said, pulling open the front door. "Maybe we'll see each other again sometime."

James waved as she left. "Fingers crossed."

That odd bereft feeling came back as she closed the door behind her, and as he locked it. He would miss her the most, and could really only hope they really did see each other again.

He turned to make his way back to the kitchen, and caught sight of a note he didn't remember leaving on the entryway table.

Written neatly on it was a phone number, and a message: "Call me. Maybe we can get drinks inside the club this time. - Ash."

Maybe he really would be seeing her again.

#dibbiewrites #derekposting #safe vore #nonfatal vore #same size vore #v.ore #v0re

[aprillikesthings]

lol yet another nostalgia post, I never did have a tag for these

Summer used to be my favorite season in Portland because I was outside doing things constantly (especially group bicycle rides, the kind that were parties or had themes and started or ended at food carts and beer) and we had the windows open 24/7 so it was like living outside, we would just shut the blinds on whichever side of the house was getting full sun and that was enough to keep things comfy for all but like a week or so of the summer. You'd fall asleep to the sound of the breeze and the trains and cars going by and sometimes people walking outside and chatting to each other, and you'd wake up to birds and the sounds of the city.

(worth noting: due to the low-ish humidity around here it's perfectly comfortable up to 85f/30c if you're in the shade with a breeze/fan, and it often cools off to 60f/15c at night)

You'd go out for a walk just because it was nice out and everyone else would be outside, too; it seemed like. I would walk to the store and someone would be playing the banjo on their front porch and I would love the sound even though it made me feel like my neighborhood was a Portland stereotype (spoiler: it is. or was). I would pass by free piles and poke around and maybe find a book I'd been meaning to read. Or maybe a shirt in my size. A house down the street from me used to be full of Burners (aka people whose lives revolve around Burning Man) and someone in that house wore the exact same size I did and was constantly putting clothes in their free box that fit me and that I liked. They also used to have huge plywood things on their porch they were painting for that year's burn.

A house across the street from the former Burner house is for sale right now. Daci and I walked by on the way to Los Gorditos last weekend and I said, "guess the asking price," and they guessed right: nearly $700,000. (Hah, the asking price went DOWN 20k, that's a good sign.)

I wonder if I still have any of the clothes from that bin?

But now I'm always too tired to do anything outside or too worried about covid or it's too hot.

It's often just too hot. ;_;

Look: I hate air conditioning. I hate it. Don't get me wrong, I love walking into an air conditioned space when it's hot as balls, but I hate needing it. I hate feeling like the house is shut tight even in the summer. I hate the weird refrigerated air. I hate going outside and there's literally nobody outside and all you can hear is the whirr of dozens of air conditioners.

If I wanted to live that way I'd move back to the east coast, quite frankly.

We probably won't stay here. I keep saying that. So many of my friends from that era of my life have left anyway. But my family is here, so I don't know.

I look up other places to live in the Pacific Northwest, maybe further north? a little closer to the ocean?, and it's the same story, over and over. Every halfway decent smaller town* is already getting an influx of people from the larger cities and causing the same problems there: rising housing costs, wages that don't keep up, gentrification. People in those towns are pissed about it. And sure, some of their anger is tinged with a kind of localized xenophobia, but nobody likes watching their home turn into a different place over a handful of years.

Which is, ironically, why I think about leaving Portland.

But also: no place stays the same for long.

(*which is to say: not full of right-wing nutjobs. I have a lot of sympathy for folks brave enough to move to those places anyway, but as a polyamorous quad of queers, three of whom are trans, that's not something we want to do. Otherwise we'd all just live in bumfuck North Carolina, where Pan is from.)

#my life #portland

[viperbarnes]

The Tie That Binds – [Three of Eight]

[B. Barnes, Soulmate AU]

Summary: HYDRA took everything from you, your life, your future, they even burned off your soulmark to make sure nobody would go looking for you. Now the man they forced you to fix reappears in your life, to make amends and to be ‘of service’.

You know that they made him do all those things, that James ‘Bucky’ Barnes is not The Winter Soldier, that he’s innocent. You don’t blame him.

But that doesn’t make seeing him again any easier.

Warnings: Panic attacks, language, talk and depiction of home invasion and abduction, canon level violence, HYDRA levels of torture, angst, fluff, slow-ish burn, friends to lovers.

Note: This is entirely un-beta’d so all mistakes are my own. Thank you for reading!

<- Prev / Next ->

You’ve just stepped out of the grocery store when you’re half-barrelled into by something big and solid. Instead of falling, like you expect, when the moment passes, you realise not only are you standing upright, but that your arms have been relieved of the two heavy paper bags you’d previously held.

It takes you second to fully process the situation, but when you do, you find yourself blinking up at the smug face of Bucky Barnes, your load now tucked easily under his arm, looking a whole lot smaller than when you’d struggled to pick them up.

“Wha– I thought you were away?!” You let yourself gasp in belated surprise, resting a hand over your heart momentarily. He wears sunglasses, which you find odd considering it wasn’t exactly bright out, but you’re still a little too taken aback by his sudden appearance to really make note of it.

“And miss our shopping trip?” He asks, voice filled with mock horror.

“You can’t shake me off that easy. I stick.” The smugness melts from his features, replaced by something softer as you shake your head at him, beginning to walk.

Almost a whole month and a half of these regular, strange meetings, and the two of you had fallen into something that felt a lot like friendship, but crucially, wasn’t quite. Usually he’d help you with your groceries, sometimes you’d corner him at a cafe and seemingly quiz him on aspects of HYDRA and your capture. It was… comfortable, and you hated to admit it, but you’d sorely missed actual human interaction.

Bucky moves to walk beside you on the footpath, and you eye him. You understand why he wears sunglasses now, at this angle you could clearly see the large purple and black bruise around the ring of his eye, and when you take a closer, less subtle look at his clothing, you realise he’d simply thrown on his heavy winter coat over top of what looked like a blue motorcycle jacket.

“You know I would have been just fine if you had somewhere else to be…” You venture, shifting your eyes away from him as you speak. Bucky glances down at you, and then at his attire.

“Just got back.” He says shortly, though you’ve come to know that was just his way sometimes.

“Most people might go take a shower… get some sleep… not go help some lady with her shopping.” You muse.

The slight smugness returns to his face and his gait and he swings his head to look down at you with a corny grin, only added to by the shades.

“Most people aren’t me.” He tells you cockily, leaning down slightly to emphasise this. He leans back again moments later, as if considering you, and you squirm a little under his gaze.

“Besides, I think you like having someone do the heavy liftin’.” It’s still part of his act, something halfway between a shadow of himself from a different time, and a romance lead perhaps.

You noticed he fell back on humour, on sarcasm or this faux personality whenever he felt like his true response wouldn’t be acceptable. Maybe most people wouldn’t notice the shifts so clearly, but you do. You did the same thing any time you had to interact with another human being.

Still, the way it makes butterflies appear in your chest sends you off kilter every time, not just because it was him, but because it had been a solid amount of time since anybody spoke to you or flirted with you like you were a halfway decent option. Especially someone who looked like Bucky.

You weren’t blind, you’d recognised his objective attractiveness long ago, somewhere in a dimly lit room, where tracing his jawline was a distraction from whatever else.

But it was different now. He wasn’t just the tragically beautiful assassin you were forced to work on, he was… Bucky.

An almost friend.

Bucky.

You scoff at his display, and at any fleeting notion that he’d even really look at you twice, and shake your head.

“I can’t say it doesn’t help on the days my hands shake too much… Lost one too many cartons of eggs to that.” You chortle at your own past predicament.

You miss the way Bucky’s smile falters, and his shoulders drop, and he forces himself to look away from you for several seconds.

“Where were you, anyway?” You ask, changing the subject as you come to a set of lights. Bucky shifts your groceries to his other arm and cocks his head at you.

“I’m pretty sure our deal was that I answer questions about what I used to do. Didn’t think my current shenanigans were on the table…?” You see an eyebrow rise above the lens of the glasses, and roll your eyes.

“Fine. I didn’t want to hear about your sidekick stuff anyway.” You turn away from him slightly only for him to step into your view again.

“Sidekick? You call me a sidekick?” Bucky sounds almost genuinely offended, and you scoff, leaving him trailing behind you when the walking light turns green and you make for the other side of the street.

“Please, you’re basically a professional sidekick.” You can’t keep the grin from your lips now as Bucky hurries to catch up with you, his brow now in a deep set frown.

“That’s unkind. That’s hurtful.” He tells you, truly, honestly pouting.

“I’ll have you know my sidekick stuff is extremely interesting.” He continues, sticking his nose up a little now. You shrug.

“Probably, but you didn’t wanna tell me about it so…” You spin to face him as you speak, stopping on your apartment buildings stoop.

Bucky still pouts as you blindly buzz yourself in, taking towards the stairs right away. Bucky follows, and you realise a little too late that he never usually came inside with you. He’d usually hand over your things at the door. Truthfully, as dismissive as you were being, you were actually rather glad he’d shown up, and you weren’t quite ready yet to part ways.

The rest of the climb to your floor is filled with Bucky huffing about how cool his job was, and you internally wondering if it was too weird to invite him inside. Your fear of the man had all but evaporated, despite the frequent dreams you’d been having, but you wonder if letting him into your home would change that.

Your apartment was your sanctuary. You had escape routes mapped just in case, you’d organised your things so that there was always some kind of makeshift weapon available to you in every room… considering these plans were made with his last break-in in mind, you’re not sure how your subconscious might react to having him physically within your space again.

You act as natural as possible, and when you do reach your door, you force yourself to steady your hand as you unlock it. Bucky had stopped even his playful whining, and you know he isn’t ignorant to the current situation.

Stepping inside, you hold your door open with your hip and casually jerk your head in the direction of your kitchen.

“That can just go on the counter.” You say, cursing the slight shake in your words. You continue ahead of him quickly, even as you hear your door close shut behind you, depositing your purse and coat on the sofa.

Bucky does as you say, and you turn in time to see him step back from the countertop, his eyes darting around the space quickly.

A different kind of anxiety rolls over you then, and you regret having not tidied up a little before inviting him inside.

“It’s a little messy…” You apologise, sweeping some dust from the nearest surface and scrunching your nose. Bucky blinks at you and frowns, opening his mouth, but you accidentally cut him off as another thought hits you.

“And I’m sorry about the cold… The window keeps breaking.” You gesture to the main window in your living space, rolling your eyes a little.

Bucky’s face morphs into a frown as he looks past you to the window in question, a plastic bag duct taped over a portion.

“Your windows broken?” He asks, concern filling his voice.

“It keeps happening. My landlord employs the cheapest handyman in the city, I swear to god…” You roll your eyes again and try to brush it off with a laugh, but Bucky’s face doesn’t change, even as he looks back to you.

“It’s the middle of winter.” He states, and then before you can reply, he straightens, his frown of displeasure shifting into one of determination.

“I’ll fix it.”

---

Bucky replays the clips on his phone one last time, making sure he properly understood the instruction, before he moves to copy it.

A short trip to the hardware store later, he’s back in your apartment, sat awkwardly on your windowpane as he finishes up replacing the lower piece of glass. He’d made sure the piece he’d bought was hardy, and unlikely to cause you future problems. He can’t imagine how cold it would have gotten in your place with a broken window, and tries not to scowl.

You linger nearby, having put your groceries away and offered him coffee, you now sit on your couch pretending that you weren’t watching him.

He doesn’t blame you for eyeing him just as nervously as you had on his first few visits with you. Seeing each other out and about was one thing, but he doesn’t underestimate the amount of trust you were showing in allowing him into your home. Hell, he doesn’t even think he’d be extending such liberties if he were you.

But he’s glad for it, if not only for selfish reasons.

It was easy for Bucky to pretend he didn’t know your status to one another. He’d ignored the little black mark long enough, ignored the urge to seek you out (before he knew you were you) so it really wasn’t that different for him. The only problem, and it wasn’t really a problem just yet, was that Bucky liked you.

He liked your jokes and your sass, he liked the way your expressions spoke louder than your words ever could, and how you didn’t even seem to realise you were making them half the time. He liked that you always seemed to have something interesting to add to a conversation, even on topics he wouldn’t have thought had much interest.

You were smart, and funny and cynical in all the same ways as him, and Bucky liked spending time with you. If he didn’t think it would make you uncomfortable, he’d hang around you a lot more.

Being friends with you was easy, in the same way that being friends with Sam was easy. He didn’t have to hold back certain information, or pretend he was something he wasn’t. You knew everything already, and for some reason, had decided you were okay with him sticking around.

“Do you think you’re going to find your soulmate?”

The question nearly makes him jump, as if you’d been looking right into his thoughts.

Bucky stops what he’s doing briefly and looks up at you. Your lips are pursed and your eyes move from his exposed wrist to his face. He coaches his face into what he might consider normal if the situation were different, and hums.

“Why wouldn’t I?” He clears his throat, and watches you shift your position on the couch, tucking your feet underneath you.

“I don’t know. It’s not really something I have to consider, so I guess I was just thinking about our situations… How it would feel.” You frown as you speak, and Bucky already knows you’re unsatisfied with how you’d answered. He stops completely and faces you, giving you his full attention.

“What do you mean?” He prompts. You think for a moment.

“I guess I just don’t know if I would.” You state, still frowning, though this time for an entirely different reason. Bucky feels something in his chest tighten.

“I don’t know. I’m not exactly the most normal person in the world… and I know your soulmate is supposed to be your perfect half, but there’s still choice involved, right? Not everyone chooses to be with their soulmate in the end…” Your eyes turn down to your lap, where you fiddle with your fingers nervously.

“I’m just not sure they’d want me.”

Bucky’s stomach drops at your confession, something an awful lot like hurt shooting through him.

He wants to hurry and reassure you that you were wrong, that you didn’t have to worry, but he stops himself.

He reminds himself that your fears were his own, only he knew for a fact the answer.

“I don’t think you should spend your time worrying about that.” He says carefully. You stop fidgeting and look up at him. He swallows thickly.

“Your soulmate will want you, regardless of if you’re the most normal person in the world or not. And if they’re worried about your past, or the way it affects you now, then they probably don’t deserve you anyway.”

Bucky shrugs, and tears his eyes from yours to continue in his task, but stays fully aware that your gaze remains trained on him.

“If you found them, I’m sure they would want you.” He adds, almost anxiously, his mind buzzing with a million thoughts.

From the couch, you let out a short laugh, the tension in the room lifting a little. He spares a glance at you, unable to to stop the smile that creeps onto his face at the sight of your own.

“What?” He asks, and you shake your head.

“Just never took the Winter Soldier for a romantic.” You tease, making him roll his eyes.

Bucky puts the last touches on your new and improved window and takes a step back.

“Would it shock you to learn HYDRA didn’t count it as a useful skill?”

If you like and enjoy, a comment or a reblog would be greatly appreciated!

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes/reader #bucky barnes/you #story: tttb #soulmate au

[anxioussweasley]

Request lol if you have time bc i love ur writing with my whole heart. Basically i need me some angst with George with a happy-ish ending in my life rn. Maybe angst prompts 1 and 2? if you don’t have time that’s totally cool there’s just not enough happy ending angst with george lol

1.when we’re you going to tell me

2. I’m not going to argue with you

Warnings: swearing, angst

Word count: 1.2k

A/n: hi love! So sorry this took me so long to write! I hope you still see this, and you like it! Thank you for the request.

Arguments

You weren’t even sure how the argument started. It was all playful in the beginning. But now as you and George, your best friend, shouted back and forth in the middle of the common room, you realized this was anything but playful.

“Well maybe if you and your brother weren’t always running around causing trouble, we wouldn’t have been stuck in detention.”

“Well maybe if you would stop pissing people off me and my brother wouldn’t have to go around causing ‘trouble’ pranking people for you!”

“I never asked you to do that! I can take care of myself! And you know what I don’t remember ever pissing digory off so I guess you pranked him for no good reason!” You shouted back.

“Oi, I had a reason!”

“Oh, really? What was it then? You know he hasn’t talked to me since that little stunt you pulled!” You seethed.

George stopped. He couldn’t possibly tell you why he had pranked Cedric. He couldn’t possibly tell you that he was burning with jealousy at the mere sight of you next to golden boy digory. How was he supposed to look one of his best friends in the eye and tell them that he loved them? George scoffed, “It doesn’t even matter. I’m not going to argue with you.” With that he quickly turned making his way up the stairs to his dorm.

The few people in the common room that had been watching the argument started at you, before Fred cut in, “Oi, you all mind your own business! That was awkward enough without all you gits listening in!” With that everyone went about their business, some people making their way out of the room, Ron and Harry continuing they’re game of Wizards chess, Hermione turning back towards her book.

“I- I don’t even know what just happened,” you mumbled.

Fred gave you a concerned look before nudging your shoulder assuring, “hey you know how he is. can be a little hot headed sometimes, that one. That’s why he’s so good at quidditch,” Fred chuckled. “Don’t worry I’m sure he’s not angry with you, just give him some time, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay.” You answered, still staring at the door George had just disappeared through.

“Why don’t you come by later, I’ll talk to him and we’ll get this whole thing sorted,” Fred suggested, putting his hand on your shoulder to reassure you.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll um- I’ll see you later.” You didn’t know how to function. The whole argument had you confused, and the embarrassment of fighting in such a public setting was starting to sink in. So without another word you turned and made your way to your dorm, slamming the door behind you before letting out a frustrated sigh.

A couple hours passed and you were feeling restless. You had tried to distract yourself with homework, reading, a nap, but nothing had worked in keeping your mind of George. Then again… nothing ever did.

You sometimes find it impossible to stop thinking of the ginger. Everything about him made your heart race. He was softer than Fred. He was an amazing quidditch player. His jokes and sarcastic comments always made you laugh for minutes on end. It had taken you a while to realize you were in love with him. But now you were in a fight, a petty argument that made your stomach twist with nerves. You knew it was irrational but you couldn’t stop worrying about if you would lose him over this. It was pointless anxiety but nevertheless a sick feeling made its way into your stomach.

You wanted to end this, to go back a few hours when you and George were laughing together happy as can be. So you got up out of bed and made your way to the boys dorm. Surely Fred was right, and George just needed a bit of time to calm down. But as you approached the door the sound of Fred and George’s shouting voices made it clear that this wasn’t going to end quickly. You tried not to listen, tried to walk away but Fred’s voice caught your attention.

“Why didn’t you just tell Y/n the truth? This is getting ridiculous, George!”

“What do you want me to say Fred? Yeah, Y/n I had a good reason to prank digory! It’s because I saw that prat put his arm around you and I was burning with jealousy because I’m in love with you?” Your breath caught in your throat as your heart raced faster than it ever had before. Surly you had heard that wrong.

“Yes! Anything would have been better than storming out!” Fred answered.

“I can’t do this right now, Fred.” Came George next words and suddenly the door was being pulled open, and there wasn’t time for you to react. George and you stood there for a minute wide eyed.

“George-“

He scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief before quickly sliding past you and making his way down the hall.

“George!” You shouted after him, finally breaking away from your initial shock.

“Shit, Y/n,” Fred swore, making his way out the door and down the hall.

“Fred, wait! I’ll take care of it,” you rushed quickly moving past him and running down the hall after George.

“George! George, wait! Please?” You shouted after the boy. Hurrying to catch up with him.

“Leave me alone Y/n,” was all he replied with, making his way through the common room and out the portrait hole.

“Can we please talk?” You questioned as you had to jog to keep up with the ginger's fast pace, as he led you into an empty corridor.

“Y/n, please, just go away,” he sounded desperate, continuing to walk away from you.

“No, George! When were you going to tell me?” You pleaded. George stopped dead in his tracks.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “never.” He sounded so uncertain, you had never seen him like this so… defeated.

“Is- is that really why you pranked Cedric? You were jealous?” You questioned.

George scoffed, turning quickly around to face you. “Yes Y/n! I was jealous! I was jealous because I’ve been in love with you for years, but you are never going to feel the same way about me! Because I’m just George, I’m not like golden boy digory or Fred, I’m not the outspoken one or the popular one I’m just everyone’s second choice!” George let out a sigh, a single tear falling down his face, before whispering, “even yours.” Tears started falling down your face, your heart shattering with George’s words. How could he be so blind?

“No, George. Don’t you get it? I love you! Me and Cedric are just friends. I don’t care about that kind of stuff. I don’t want Cedric or Fred, I want you.”

George stands wide eyed, not fully allowing himself to believe it.

“You-“

“I’m in love with you,” you finished the thought for him, tanking a step closer and grabbing his hand.

“Y/n, I am so sorry for everything I said today. I was such a git.” George apologized, squeezing your hand and pulling you closer to him.

“It’s okay Georgie, I’m sorry too.”

#fred weasley #george weasley #weasley twins #weasleys #fred and george #fred weasley fluff #fred weasley imagine #george weasly imagines #hp imagine #fred weasley x y/n #george fabian weasley #george weasley angst #anxiousweasley writes

[amaryllisblackthorn]

a lot of people have this idea that Annabeth's been like, a Luke apologist and in denial since the very beginning but it's not really true?. Annabeth was angry at Luke for his betrayal in the end of Lightning Thief and during Sea of Monsters. It's only until the end of The Titan's Curse that she starts the 'Luke really isn't that bad' kind of thing.

the end of Lightning Thief:

"I can't believe that Luke..." Annabeth's voice faltered. Her expression turned  angry and sad. "Yes. Yes, I can believe it. May the gods curse him...He was never the same after his quest."

"When I get back next summer," she said, "we'll hunt down Luke. We'll ask for a quest, but if we don't get approval, we'll sneak off and do it anyway. Agreed?"

 She was really angry at him during Sea of Monsters. Her vision from the Sirens does indicate that deep down she may believe she's able to save him, or at least wants to, but it doesn't diminish the hurt and anger she does feel.

"How could you?" Annabeth sounded so angry I thought she'd explode. "Thalia saved your life! Our lives! How could you dishonor her--"

"Liar!"

"I understand you want to destroy the camp!" she yelled. "You're a monster!"

"Because you have none of your own [intelligence]!"

"That's disgusting!" Annabeth said.

"You're insane," Annabeth said.

"Go to Tartarus," she said.

All those above are on the Princess Andromeda with Luke. Then later, to Percy:

She shook her head. "We made a dozen safe houses like this. I doubt Luke even remembers where they are. Or cares."

Even in the beginning-ish of Titan's Curse, she doesn't trust him. When he's struggling under the sky and asking for her help, she's hesitant. It's only when the sky begins to fall  that she goes to help hold it.

Annabeth had tears in her eyes. She reached down like she wanted to touch Luke's face, but at the last second she hesitated. "What happened?" she asked.

"Why should I trust you?" Annabeth asked. Her voice was filled with hurt.

Then the darkness above Luke began to crumble, like a cavern roof in an earthquake. Huge chunks of black rock began falling. Annabeth rushed in just as a crack appeared, and the whole ceiling dropped. She held it somehow--tons of rock. She kept it from collapsing on her and Luke with her own strength.

However!! There's a shift in her feelings by the time Percy and Thalia rescue her and I personally think it's because she's aware that Luke 'saved' her life for the time being after Atlas ordered him to kill her after Artemis took the sky -- even though he was super complicit in her being in that situation in the first place. Compare:

Luke hesitated. "She--she may yet be useful, sir. Further bait."

and

"We'll bring Luke back," Annabeth pleaded. "To Olympus. He...he'll be useful."

I don't think it's a conscious parallel on Annabeth's part per se, but Rick Riordan using the parallel to indicate the connection. I think that's when Annabeth discovers that Luke does still care deep down, and that deep down the person that she knows is there. which is fair, because before this point he hadn’t given her any indication seeing as he literally directed  Oreius to eat her. that’s a whole ‘nother write-up, though, i think. i digress.

Once she knows this, she starts to view him as someone being manipulated and taken advantage of by Kronos, someone who was able to manipulate Ares, a god, in the first book, -- she's not wrong! He is being manipulated. That doesn't absolve him from his horrible behavior especially towards her, but she understands that Luke is a troubled, traumatized young man being taken advantage of by the evil King Titan, and she's also aware that literally no one else cares enough to try to save him.

like, the language Annabeth uses to describe Luke in the end of Titan’s Curse is the same that Percy uses to describe the demigods on the  Titans’ side in Last Olympian. 

"You don't believe me about Luke," Annabeth said, "but we'll see him again. He's in trouble, Percy. He's under Kronos's spell."

vs

I tried to wound his men, not kill. That slowed me down, but these weren’t monsters. They were demigods who’d fallen under Kronos’s spell. I couldn’t see faces under their battle helmets, but some of them had probably been my friends.

there’s another callback with the language Percy uses to describe the opposing demigods in Last Olympian. this time, to what Percy says to Luke at the end of Lightning Thief.

“He’s brainwashing you, Luke.”

“You’re being used, Luke. You and Ares both. Don’t listen to Kronos.”

vs

This kid was getting brainwashed—trained to hate the gods and lash out because he’d been born half Olympian. Kronos was using him, and yet the kid thought I was his enemy.

Poseidon put his hand on my shoulder. “Percy, there were only a few demigod warriors aboard that ship, and they all chose to battle for Kronos. Perhaps some heeded your warning and escaped. If they did not . . . they chose their path.”

“They were brainwashed!” I said. “Now they’re dead and Kronos is still alive. That’s supposed to make me feel better?

Percy has sympathy for the demigods manipulated by Kronos to be on the Titan’s sides; he sees them as victims. the reason he doesn’t for Luke, I feel, is because Luke’s betrayal made it personal. I think this is where Percy’s fatal flaw comes into play, honestly, with the personal loyalty. both in regards to the personal betrayal to Percy, as well as Percy’s loyalty to Annabeth (and thus Luke’s betrayal of Annabeth, too). and i feel this also applies, to a lesser extent, to Ethan. but that’s a whole ‘nother write-up, too (one day!)

there is, admittedly, the factor of Luke’s age in comparison to Percy, Annabeth, and most of the other campers. there’s definitely a power imbalance -- especially with Annabeth, which isn’t okay, obviously.  so even though he’s a victim and young himself, that power imbalance in regards to his actions, manipulations, etc is messed up and not okay. 

even so, Luke is still pretty young himself -- not as young as the others, but still young. like, i got into this series when i was younger than Percy and Annabeth were, so Luke, like most early 20 year olds, seemed very old to me in that regard; it’s only as i got older and closer to his are that i started to really realize that heck he was really young. so while Luke is definitely an adult in regards to the relationship he has with Percy, Annabeth, and other younger demigods -- which he should have been mindful of and makes his manipulation etc very messed up and not okay -- he’s also young himself which is something to keep in mind. like, Luke is only around 19-22? in the series. That puts him at a power imbalance in regards to Annabeth and Percy, in which he's very much an adult in the relationship, but outside of that he's still pretty young! he’s a college kid, which when you’re younger seems pretty old but then you are one and realize differently -- his brain hasn't even fully developed yet. but i’m like, seriously digressing. 

my intended point was that i disagree with the interpretation that Annabeth was blinded by emotions and a toxic relationship which led her to make excuses for Luke and unable to see him for what he really was etc,--  because Annabeth was angry at him after his betrayal and had even thought he was different, that he didn’t care anymore. The ‘Luke apologist’ behavior only starts at the end of Titan’s Curse, the third book in the five book series. I just feel like her ... feelings? perspective? position? idk the right word.... is often misrepresented? 

she becomes very defensive over Luke’s ‘inner goodness’ and stuff because she’s literally the only one who wants to save him and knows it. she knows what he’s done isn’t okay, but she keeps driving it home that he’s being manipulated because he is! it doesn’t excuse his actions but it doesn’t have to. by the end of titan’s curse, annabeth sees luke as someone terribly lost and no one trying, willing, or caring enough to save him. and like, she’s right when she sees luke as someone who isn’t beyond saving, who’s extremely lost and being manipulated through his trauma and anger -- it doesn’t excuse what he’s doing but that doesn’t make him someone not worthy of saving. despite what he’s done, luke is still her family and she will fight for him. she sees luke the same way percy sees the other opposing demigods in the last olympian and she’s right. she’s not making excuses for him, she doesn’t think he’s done nothing wrong, she’s just not willing to give up on him and she was right. as the child in the relationship/dynamic, it wasn’t her responsibility to be the one to save him and shouldn’t have been, but she wasn’t wrong in how she saw Luke.

 like, their was definitely a power imbalance in their relationship and it’s definitely important to acknowledge that, but i feel like people tend to like, erase annabeth’s agency, for lack of a better word, and attribute her desire to save Luke as being tragically misplaced? like, Luke has totally wronged Annabeth and mistreated her terribly, but like...I find her not giving up on him mostly admirable and not pitiable, though like I said as the child in their dynamic it wasn’t her responsibility.  i’m rambling though.

mostly this post was made to remind people that Annabeth was angry towards Luke, and rightfully so, until near the end of Titan’s Curse, which is where her defending Luke and insisting he could be saved really started, likely with Luke indicating he actually still cared deep down for the first time being the catalyst.  especially since it seems a lot of people give like the impression they think she’s done it from the very beginning? idk ive definitely rambled a lot and lost my main point sometime ago or something. enjoy this anyway.

#annabeth chase #pjato #percy jackson and the olympians #luke castellan #ab analyzes #i'm kind of expecting this to be somewhat controversial idk #;the last olympian #;titan's curse #;the lightning thief #;i have at least two other related metas i want to write up so hopefully ill get around to that

[bibbykins]

hi ! i love your yandere contents most- i don’t know how i end up loving yandere because most people think yandere is quiet disturbing and not a healthy behaviour, and yours kind of soft-ish mostly so less disturbing. i did read hard yandere just for fun, still i fell kind of uncomfortable though. like kind of feels sicks about it. but yours is nice enough because both mutual pining so it less disturbing.

yet afterall, i realised that somehow i kind of having this yandere behaviour in me. when i’m in relationship before, i really really don’t like it when my partner talk to another girl, like i feel so insecure and i just want him to myself. thankfully that i don’t have that urge to kill or anything oh my god - GOD FORBID- or else that will be so mess up istg. but at the time my partner is like really really a good boy though, he knows that i don’t like he talked to another girl, and after that he NEVER talk to another girl. and yeah, but we broke up though, ironically because i don’t like him being so clingy to ke hahhahahaha what a mess up person i was. then i never been in relationship until then, so i don’t know what kind of person am i if i ever fall in love after this. i hope i can be a normal person that in love with decent behaviour though. hopefully.

oh and my friend, she’s married to her boyfriend since high school, let me tell you. his boyfriend, right now is her husband, he’s super damn yandere in real life though. luckily he don’t kill, hopefully no. but he did get in fight -verbally and physically- with those boys who talk to her. damnnnnn, and he don’t like it when she spends too much with us, her girlfriends like how mess up thoughhh. and we tried to make them break up for few months, less than one month they freaking getting back together. that damn boy begging to her and she loves him so much that she turn blind eye and getting back secretly with him. and now they are married and have one child. damn her story makes me realised, yandere does exist. i just realised about this after giving it some thought.

ugh, goosebumps.

WARNING: DISCUSSION OF ABUSE, TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS, HARMFUL TRAITS

First, I want to say I mean no hate or malice to this anon.

Then, I want this to serve as a reminder for everyone to read my disclaimers above my Seven Princes Masterlist and the Silhouetted Bonds Masterlist as well as the way I tag all fo my yandere fics as unhealthy relationships (pls let me know if I missed one) because I have said this several times, and will say this again: these yandere behaviors are just abusive and toxic behaviors irl. I have always stated the relationships in my fics are unhealthy/toxic and only "work" in my fics bc it is simply fiction. It is in a world that looks like our own in some cases but is not our own at all.

This ask makes me extremely uncomfortable since you, anon, are describing abusive and toxic traits within you and your friend's husband and the fact that there is now a child involved makes me sick to my stomach. This is another reason I don't feel comfortable writing children into my yandere fics bc although it is a world I created, I simply cannot stomach involving a child.

I implore you to seek help for these harmful behaviors that hurt other real people and I hope your friend's husband does the same. I also beg of everyone to read my disclaimers and seperate fiction from reality, understand that dark romance is not the blue print or something that is acceptable in the real world. We can gush about these unhealthy relationships bc it is simply fiction and hurts no one.

I, and often other writers of dark content, write because we know it is fiction and sometimes write to even deal with our own trauma, or have some escapist fantasy of unconditional and undying "love", however that manifests in our stories. Because of this often heavy content, I encourage everyone to read tags, disclaimers, and author's notes.

Yanderes don't exist irl, those are abusers. Yandere, in my opinion, is not a term I feel comfortable using to talk about people in the real world.

I do not write yandere bc I think it would be cute or funny irl, it's a fictional device for a fictional world, and I would never be so harmful to my partner and I hope you all share the same sentiment.

Please do not send me details about your harmful behaviors or your friend's abusive things like this are not only triggering but just plain upsetting.

Again, please understand, as I've stated many times, the relationships I write are not healthy and only "work" bc they exist in a world I created.

I really debated not answering this ask at all but I felt it needed to be said just in case. If any of this has been unclear, please ask me to clarify because this is extremely important to remember when consuming my fics, and for the most part any media in general.

#ask #bibby talks

[mtgc858]

Ok I made a au based on Paul's video's (Shed 17 & Project G-1) were everyone was cured from being biofused and are now humans with the scars from there engine form,This contains spoilers for Paulvids videos and this has extra things that doesn't appear in the videos 👌

Thomas

has stitches all over his body from him being the first to be cured and the fact that he was turned human...ish in project G-1,His one eye is red from him loseing control and attacking Keith and he has basically two personailtys now,His normal personailtys he had when he was a actual human and his savage anger side he showed near the end of that video,Also Thomas has a huge scar on his back from his biofused form in Shed 17 and his scream when in his savage side will be high and load like in shed 17•

Edward & James (there together cause there engines forms were burned together)

They both have burn marks all over there body's from how they were destroyed in here biofused form,James has more scars on his face(Cause his face did melt some in the video) while Edward has some scars on his throat from his whistle broke in shed 17(that people thought he died from),James personality changed some from his normal personality to a more serious,grumpy medium headed one cause he is extremely upset of the fact that him and Edward were basically lied to and we're used for testing•

Henry

He has scars on his back and sides from his crash in shed 17 and has scar marks all over his neck and his lower face from when he was scrapped in shed 17,He is very agressive when someone mentions Sir Topham Hat and can accidentally hurt others around him,Henry personality changed a lot cause he is no longer a shy, soft kind guy but now he is a rough,mean, agressive and a emotionally wreck•

Gordon

Gordon took a long time to be cured due to his body being used to make Project G-1,He has scars around his stomach from his biofused form being crushed from the inside,blurry vision from his eyes getting destroyed and a massive scar on his side from getting hurt by the boulder in his Project G-1 form,He acts similar to normal Gordan but has emotionally break downs and has trouble seeing from his blurry vision•

Marvis

She has burn marks around her mouth from her engine burning in shed 17 and sometimes need eye drops for her eyes,She didn't change much and didn't know what happened to the others cause her biofused body burned up first•

Percy

Percy has scars around his neck and needs to wear a cast around it so his neck doesn't fall to the side,His vision is slightly blurry from his eyes rolling back and when his neck is turned his speech gets muffled.

Percy still is a sweetheart and is very young compare to the other biofused engines (that are now humans again) and hasn't changed much•

Spencer

Like Marvis he has burn marks around his mouth and face from his body being set on fire in project G-1,He didn't change much and still has a small rivalry with Gordon and Scottman man but not as much as in the show•

Duck(Chris is his name in the videos) and Oliver

Duck and Oliver still have mechanical parts to them like wires and robotic arms and scars on there body from fighting in Project G-1,Oliver is nearly blind and needs glasses or contacts desperately due to his vision almost being gone

Duck(Or Chris) feels horrible for hurting his best friend and cry's over it when alone,Oliver forgives Duck,tries to comfort him when he cry's and tells him over and over again that he forgives him and isn't mad•

Harold

He has scars on his back from his wings and is so scared of falling again he started getting a phobia of heights,He did get some burn marks on his body from exploding in shed 17, Honestly he didn't change much•

Donald & Douglas

Nobody knows what happened to Donald..Not even Douglas and Donald covers himself in bandages to cover his scars so we really don't know what happened to him,Meanwhile Douglas skin is very soft and his mouth can extend longer than usual,Douglas's lips also can get stuck together but he can open his mouth full easily,Donald is often quiet and doesn't like showing his scars to anyone cause he doesn't want them to worry and ask him what happened.

Douglas has to eat softer food due to his mouth(He can eat hard food but it takes time) and Donald can only eat in private cause he has to take off the his bandage in order to eat•

Annie and Clarabel

They share the same burn marks from there biofused forms and the fact that one of them is a clone of the other(They lost there connection when they were cured),They act the same as before but they do have flinch when one of them gets hurt thinking that they are still connected.

Diesel(Kevin)

He has some scars around his chest and neck from his sacrifice in Project G-1 and gets some panic attack when stressed,He is very salty when it comes to Sir Topham Hat and is very agressive but he got his wife to calm him down (He is married to Annie in Project G-1 if you didn't know),He is get protective over every cured or being cured biofused and is willing to hurt himself protecting everyone•

Smuger

Smuger can stand upright without losing balance cause of him never moving from one space for years and has a massive scar on his stomach from Project G-1,Smuger is quiet and Is to nervous to ask for help and feels like he is responsible for everybody's pain when he isn't,He also has serious panic attack's randomly when reminded of what happened to him and became very claustrophobic from being trapped in one area for so long•

Cranky

He was one of the most hardest one to obtain the most dna to cure him,He has burn scars allover him from his fall in Project G-1 also having scars around his arm representing his crain breaking also in Project G-1,He has some panic attack's and feels guilty for Smugers Injury's and wants to say sorry but is afraid of bringing Smuger a panic attack(He is the only biofused who knows about Smuger and how he got his scars and panic attacks)•

G-1

G-1 was used to cure everyone and was given a life of it's own afterwards,They act like a bit cat or a big dog(They also have some human intelligence) and are very gentile when you are gentile to them,When experimenting on them they used dolphin training tricks to test there human like behavior side and when they used two pieces of paper with a picture of a gender it picked female so they use She/Her/They pronouns and are able to reproduce offspring without a mate(since they are like a animal and not a human..Idk what I'm doing with this thing XD)•

Diesel 10

Diesel 10 is still in his biofused form and is going around sodor keeping anyone that is trying to take or kill the others out and is willing to attack them if they are not careful,His eyes turn black with red pupils when angered and is very agressive when it comes to protecting anyone but he does have a soft side and is willing to show it when he wants to•

Sir toppem hat

One of the main antagonist of this au and plays a important part of this au I can't spoil just yet cause I might make a comic of this au

Keth

He is the only normal human being that was cured after being killed by Thomas and is now a half Human half cured,He has scars around his lower half and has to have a crutch now,Even after that he still cares for Thomas and the other engines and enjoys visiting them and helping them with there problems,He really hates sir toppem hat but feels like he needs to hold back on his anger cause he doesn't want to end up as some like him,He is also a father figure to Raven,Cassy and Evan(Mostly Raven) and is willing to keep them safe from harm and danger•

(Some Oc's)

Raven(My oc)

She is the main person in this au and the one who gave the idea to cure the engines than to kill them off,She was a young girl who loved seeing the engines but was trapped on Sodor when she was left behind by her neglectful caretaker (she was a orphan who never meet her parents and was raised in a orphanage) and was found by Keth and was taken cared for,Years later when she turned 16 she helped with the cure and was reunited with Keth.

Cassy

She was one of the Biofused engines that didn't get destroyed and doesn't have any physical scars on her,She helped with the cure and was willing to have them use some of her body for the cure,She reunited with her twin brother and loves takeing care of the other engines when in need•

Evan

Evan was used and experimented on with how the engines can't stand sugar and another if he could stand falling from a high drop,The first experiment was putting sugar in is fire box which cause him to keep throwing up randomly for a hour and the second experiment he was pushed off a high rock surface and was badly broken and exploded shortly after.

After he was cured he was given scars around his back and side and some patches of burn marks on his body and he hates sugar now cause of that one experiment,He takes care of the other engines and is good friends with James,Edward,Gordan and Percy.

Now some small facts about my au

The cured biofused have the scars of when they were engines and how they were destroyed or killed and they have memory's of when it happened and most of them either try to forget it or ignore it and keep moving on

There heights are a little taller than normal humans and they have louder screams and whistles

Sodor has been fixed and is a sanctuary for the cured engines and is home for some humans that are helping them/takeing care of them

The humans that were killed by Project G-1 or another engine were also cured and have there own medical bay separate from the cured biofused

The stuff to make biofused engine are still there but noone knows we're it is like somebody or something took it

The cured biofused are almost impossible to kill and have massive healing cells from the cure

They are much stronger than normal humans cause of here biofused body's but can control it so they don't hurt others

Oof that is alot and took awhile,I hope you like the au and I plan on making a askblog for this au called Ask the Bio-Cured au

:)

#ttte au #shed 17 #Project G-1 #Monster G-1 #ttte au headcanons #Ttte Bio-Cured au

[justapoet]

and when i break, it's in a million pieces

He got used to closing doors, turning off the lights, shutting off the blinds, and keeping quiet when someone else could hear him.

TK got used to the pain.

After a while, if being honest, it wasn't something that would make him cry every single night. The weight on his chest eventually became familiar, and it would only ache too much when something, somehow, would hit a nerve ― these were the nights he would spend crying and the days he would avoid existing.

Maybe if he could convince himself he didn't exist anymore, people would forget about it too.

That was probably why TK never saw it coming when Alex stepped into his life.

Or,

A bowl falls to the floor at the firehouse, and the glass isn't the only thing to shatter apart.

8.0k

read it on Ao3

Trigger warning: Past abuse.

We shouldn't, but we get used to it.

We get used to doing the dishes every day after a while, and Mom doesn't need to ask for it anymore. We get suited to making the bed after waking up, no matter how much the brain tries to argue that it's pointless if someone it's going to lay down again. We get used to closing the doors, turning off the lights, closing off the blinds, and keeping quiet when someone else speaks.

We're supposed to, so we get used to it.

Growing up, TK would learn that soon. It was natural, anyway ― he was a kid, and kids are supposed to absorb everything their parents have to teach or not, growing up to be, usually, what they're molded to. It was plain, ordinary, trivial ― it was it, just like that.

He got used to getting up alone and taking off his pajamas before leaving his room in the morning. He got used to kissing his Mom goodbye and hugging his dad hello on the occasions their busy schedule would match TK's kid one. He got used to choosing his clothes alone, hiding the mess quite nicely, and going to sleep without a goodnight kiss.

As the years passed, TK got used to learning new names and faces every time Mom fired a babysitter for reasons she would never explain. He got used to being kind, quiet, and sweet ― even with Dianne, who he was sure that didn't like being there for a second.

He got used to the silence and to see his parents on occasion. He got used to asking for some attention and being ignored when a phone call popped up or that loud-ass alarm ringed off around the station in the few times Owen took him to work, promising it would be a good time between father and son. TK got used to choosing his clothes, buying his food, and cooking something so he wouldn't be starving to death ― he got used to being alone.

At a young age, TK got used to the silence and to the absence of people only to be surprised, after a few years, with loud noise and the way-too-heavy presence of his parents. Suddenly, the quietness wasn't too quiet anymore, and the vacancy was far better than fights, shouting, and yelling ― it took him a few times, but he got used to it too.

He shouldn't, but he did.

Then, when he was nine-ish, he got used to being in two different houses. His father's apartment, where things wouldn't change much, and his Mom's new residence ― where he would always find Enzo. There, he learned to get used to snores ― Enzo would deny fiercely ― and waking up to crumbled eggs and pancakes that had a definitely weird shape but tasted good. He got used to it, but not too much ― it never lasted, after all.

Then, in his teenage years, he got used to too much all at once. To the pain, heaviness, and the pounding headache he would always get after the numbness, which he wished he had more time to get used to.

He got used to closing doors, turning off the lights, shutting off the blinds, and keeping quiet when someone else could hear him.

TK got used to the pain.

After a while, if being honest, it wasn't something that would make him cry every single night. The weight on his chest eventually became familiar, and it would only ache too much when something, somehow, would hit a nerve ― these were the nights he would spend crying and the days he would avoid existing.

Maybe if he could convince himself he didn't exist anymore, people would forget about it too.

That was probably why TK never saw it coming when Alex stepped into his life.

Alex ― against all TK tried to do ― acknowledged his existence and made sure TK did the same all the time, too, making him constantly self-conscious and agonizing over himself. The firefighter didn't really know if it was on purpose or not ― he didn't want to think about it, not then and not now ― but Alex noticed his existence and made it far too real ― and TK assumed that the pain was a mere side effect to it.

When it got physical, he just didn't want to see it anyway. He got used to it because that's just what we do.

He got used to getting used to everything around him.

And maybe that was why he was pretty much freaked out when he and his father firstly got to Texas ― TK could get used to all of it, but he was terrified of doing so. Not because it was a new state or another station, but because, for the first time, he wanted to get used to it.

He wanted to get used to the warm breeze in the morning and the subtle chill as the sun goes down. He aspired to get readjusted to walk to the station without worries and wave hello to the new faces that would soon become familiar.

He wanted to get used to the hang-outs to bars and clubs and even to Judd's big-brotherly bothering every time TK did something reckless or stupid. He wished to get used to Mateo's ramblings about Thor and Marvel and Marjan's bets with Paul over a game he wouldn't watch.

He wanted to get used to his father getting better and Michelle's constant teasing over anything they'd do. He wished to get customary to Grace's visits to the firehouse and Judd's jokes over Owen's coffee machine.

And he wanted, far too much, to get used to Carlos.

It was something new, and that was pretty much terrifying because the weight over TK's chest was prevalent and natural and familiar, but the lightness of Carlos' touch was something way too fresh and far too good to be freely given to TK.

But he wanted to get used to it, and so he did.

It took him a while, and TK would still have to try most days ― the pain on his chest was still there, settled, but it wouldn't spread to his bones, and even less would get over his skin. He was getting used to Carlos' touch, and his smooth and calm voice, and that smile that would flip the world around.

He would get used to wake up to the smell of bacon and waffles and go to sleep curled up on the man's side. TK would get used to the hugs, and the comfortable silence, and the peace ― he would get used to a few reasons to get out of bed in the morning fighting against the familiar grief inside his soul.

And Carlos, too, would get used to TK's nuances ― and fall in love with each one of them. He would learn how to read the new yorker and understand when he was supposed to say something or just carry the silence for a little while. He would get used to the silent mornings and bad days, in which TK would pace around like a ghost. And would get even more familiar with those afternoons in which his boyfriend looked like a sugar-high kid after a birthday party.

He would get used to it and to the pain that he knew TK carried. And TK would get used to not understanding what would go on inside Carlos' head.

They would get used to their moments of bitterness, just to be surprised by the next second they would love each other even more.

But, sometimes, getting used to something doesn't make it any easier to deal with the consequences; and TK knew that. He knew but chose to mostly ignore it, maybe because he was too scared to face the demons he wasn't seeing every day anymore, perhaps because TK wished he had never gotten used to it in the first place.

Because it was only a bowl.

Or it used to be, for now, it was shattered, in pieces, on the floor.

It was funny to think about just how the tiniest things could turn into a downfall.

Read the rest on Ao3

#tarlos #tarlos fic #911 lone star #carlos reyes #tk strand #tk strand x carlos reyes #my fic #my writing #tw: past abuse #carlos reyes x tk strand #anatomy of a broken heart (and its pieces) #911 lone star fic

[deanwanddamons]

My 2K Celebration Masterlist

This is the Masterlist for all the wonderful entries I have received for my 2K followers celebration. Thank you to everyone who submitted. I still have some more to come in, so I will be adding them as I receive them. Dean also loved reading them, and he hopes you enjoyed his comments! He was hard to control, but I think I reigned him in! 

Entries under the cut. 

Don’t Tell The Elf - @little-diable - Summary: Dean always gets rather distracted as he’d watch lotr with the reader, turning it into a metaphor of their own. Warnings: smut, 18+, unprotected sex, oral (male receiving)

Miracle on 34th Street - @jawritter - Summary: Time doesn’t heal all wounds, sometimes it just drives them into our bones and festers there, until forgiveness is a four letter word, and it’s to late for second chances. Warnings: Language, fluff, mentions of past heartbreak, multiple viewpoints, I think that’s about everything for this one. It’s pretty much flooff lol

Way Down We Go - @smol-and-grumpy - Summary: Watching an online concert with Jensen. Naked. I don’t know how to summarize. Warnings: NSFW, oral, fluff

No Place Like Home - @missjenniferb

Always Remember Us This Way - @deangirl93 - Summary: Maintaining the facade of a normal life while hunting was harder than Dean had imagined. Warnings: Swearing, Some fluff, Smut: Brief dry humping, Dirty talk, Unprotected sex (wrap it up before you tap it, people), ANGST, Tears, Sadness, Dean’s self deprication rears it ugly head.

Perfect - @thinkinghardhardlythinking - Summary: After a hunt Dean and Y/N are forced to have a conversation about their relationship. Warnings: Angst. Flangst. There are allusions to abuse and bad relationships/domestic violence in the Reader’s past. I’d say it’s not really explored but consider this a potential TW anyway. Show level violence. Anger.

Composure - @katelynw93 - Summary: Dean and (Y/N) take their shot at a normal life and settle down. Over the years, they have a few kids. Things are good. Until they’re not. What will Dean do when his past comes back to put an end to his happily ever after? Warnings: ANGST! Descriptions of blood. Mentions of breaking and entering. Kidnaping. Show level violence/outbursts of anger. 

Work Perks - @wonder-cole - Summary: None. Rating: M for Mature

Constellations - @there-must-be-a-lock - Summary: None. Warnings: Smut. Incredibly fluffy smut. 

Lie To Me - @jensenswinchester - Summary: The classic truth spell trope with a wicked twist. Warnings: Dean’s an asshole. Angst makes the world go ‘round. Insecurities briefly mentioned. Did I mention Dean’s an asshole? Fluff if you squint.

I’m Done Being Scared - @waywardbaby - Summary: You tried many times talking to him about how you felt and failed. Will your final attempt pay off? Warnings : Angst, second guessing choices to be made, a surge of self confidence towards the end along with a fluff-ish conclusion and an adorable Dean bean.

Remember My Name - @anaelsbrunette - Summary: Y/N can never move past that night, constantly feeling nothing but the need to avenge the poor soul lost, but with a new person running lose in Gotham, she may just get the chance to take a new plan into effect. Warnings: BATMAN/SPN CROSSOVER! Dean is Jason Todd!, murder, angst, death, grief, arguments, light fluff, cussing, violence, plotting murder, implied smut, making out

Eight Years - @440mxs-wife - Summary: Reader goes to Kansas City for a ‘Girls Weekend’ with her friends, while the guys decide to have a weekend of their own in the bunker. But, the guys get bored and decide to join the girls, which has everyone paired up except for Dean and the Reader. Will true feelings finally come out, or will it be Friend-Zone City? Warnings: Mutual Pining, a smidgen of angst, mostly fluffy though.

Home In A Motel Pool - @herstarburststories - Summary: Dean and you have some fun in the motel's pool. Warnings: sex in the pool, p in v, dirty talk

Racing Hearts - @waywardnerd67 - Summary: In between saving people and hunting things, Dean Winchester races his Baby down the streets of whatever town he may be in. After catching a case in Oklahoma, the Winchesters run into a familiar face who shares the same needs as Dean for speed. Warnings: Fluff/Street Racing

A Losing Game - @tvdspngirl314 - Summary: When the girl he always loved confesses her feelings for Dean, unfortunately he can't show his true emotions for her. Warnings : angst (a lots of it), unrequited feelings (maybe), broken reader, broken dean

Irresistibly Yours - Chapter 1 - @msmarvelouswinchester - Summary : Y/N Y/L/N moves to NYC in hopes for a fresh start after a nasty breakup. There she meets her neighbor, the cynical lawyer, Dean Winchester. A love-hate relationship starts evolving between them ever since they met in the elevator one morning but a desperate situation and a string of lies forces the two friendly rivals to go on a date or rather a fake date. Will sparks fly between them when Dean gets to know Y/N real and up close? Will Y/N finally find her Prince Charming in the grumpy, workaholic, divorce lawyer? Warnings: None for this chapter.

Choices - @themrsdeanwinchester - Summary: None. Warnings: spoiler-is for season 15, violence, hurt, demon, major character death, language

Ride - @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad - Summary: Dean and you go on a sleigh ride date. Warnings: Almost Christmas, Dean being a softie romantic kind of boyfriend, unestablished relationship, fluff, flirting, romantic sleigh ride.

Drug of Choice - @calaofnoldor​ - Summary: A night of drunken rambling leads to an unexpected change in your relationship status the next day. Warnings: angst, language, alcohol, feelings of inadequacy, very slight allusions of alcoholism/talk of drug addiction,   reader likes the sound of their voice a bit too much when drunk,   fluff, implied smut

Leather and Heels - @downanddirtydean​ - Summary: It’s Dean’s birthday, and you decide to gift him one of his bedroom fantasies. Warnings: fluff and smut, light bondage, use of handcuffs, blind fold, riding crop, and ball gag, oral sex (male receiving), rough-ish sex 

The Librarian - @winchest09​ - Summary: Y/N had been The Bunker’s own librarian ever since the Winchesters had found her one fateful night. Weighed down by her books and knowledge, fed up with the same routine day in and day out, she strived for something new. But there was one man standing in her way. The same man who had stolen her heart. Dean Winchester. Warnings: Swearing, angst, drinking, smidge of blood, arguments, confessions, fluff, kissing.

Up On The Rooftop - @justagirlinafandomworld​ - Summary: It’s one week to Christmas and something is amiss! Santa’s sitting on the rooftop, lost in his thoughts. Maybe a secret you’ve been carrying will cheer him up! Warnings: Whimsical. Rhyming. Fluff. I’m working through some serious writer’s block, so that’s also a warning.

A Game - @chocolateheart​ - Summary: Apparently, you like to play with food not only in the kitchen. Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex (please, wrap it before you tap it), oral sex (female and male receiving), FOOD PLAY, Dean's lips, Dean's jaw, Dean's tongue, Dean's teeth, Dean's fingers, DEAN in general, biting, teasing. I don't know, eating? Friends to lovers.

#deanwanddamons2kcelebration #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction

[relenafanel]

Squats For Thots - Geralt/Jaskier | PG-13.

This is mostly one long dick joke I wrote as an excuse to use “Squats for Thots” as a title. It’s also mostly foolish men with crushes objectifying each other’s asses. #whoops. 

“The Countess likes her men a little more thicc, you know?” Jaskier said, burning through the starting set Geralt had given him surprisingly well. Well enough that he continued talking, though Geralt wasn’t sure the man ever stopped. “Likes something to hold on to.”

Most of the men Geralt saw at the private club thought targeted exercises were a quick way to improve what they considered to be small problem areas, like there was a cheat sheet to looking like a Hemsworth that wasn’t partially genes. Most of them thought they were a personal trainer away from movie-star abs, and Geralt wasn’t there to disabuse them of the notion.

“I figured,” Jaskier continued, breathing through his final 20, “if I found the trainer with the best ass in the place they’d be the person to show me how to turn this slab into fab.”

“Do you ride?” Geralt asked, making a note to make Thursday’s session more intense.

 “Yeah,” Jaskier said, finally sounding out of breath. He batted his eyelashes and Geralt also made a note to recommend the man invest in a sweatband if it was going to make him blink like that, especially since Jaskier didn’t seem to be perspiring hard yet.

 “How many times a week and for how long?” 

 Jaskier opened his mouth. Closed it. Looked flustered and then flummoxed, though Geralt pretended he didn’t notice since he couldn’t figure out why. Then Jaskier laughed. “Ohh, you mean a horse,” he said. “Not often, not since adolescence, though I can still manage a decent seat when needed. Why? Should it be part of my training? I can’t say I’ve noticed all equestrians have a juicy booty but I don’t know if I’ve been looking for the trend.”

 “Hm,” Geralt answered, aware it wasn’t an answer at all. “My job today is determining your limits.”

 “Yeah,” Jaskier agreed, probably because they’d already been over this before starting. There was also that flirtatious lilt to it that Geralt was realizing he should have been able to identify from the start. 

 Fuck.

 Jaskier was one of those people who stopped by the club a few times a month and spent more time off to the side drinking smoothies and watching the people around him than he did exercising. It was a surprise he was able to keep up with the exercises Geralt had designed to easily break him. “Your lower body is better developed than I assumed.”

 “Thank you for the compliment, even though I think what you really mean is you assumed my fitness level is the same as a 3 year coma patient and tested me accordingly. I don’t think I’m even insulted by that. Though we could have saved some wasted time if you’d ever seen me naked.”

 Geralt leveled him with an unimpressed expression designed to ask ‘why would I want to do that?’

 Jaskier flushed but didn’t look particularly embarrassed or emasculated, which was maybe the first thing he’d done in his favour. “I don’t know,” he said with a shrug, “why does anyone?”

 ****

 “I hear you’ve taken on the Viscount de Lettenhove as a client,” Lambert said, looking far too relaxed against the bar. 

 Geralt shrugged. He had six new clients since the last time he’d spoken with Lambert and the name didn’t sound familiar.

 “Lord Julian?” Lambert continued. “Has a reputation for being very generous in bed, both generally and -“ he made a vague gesture to his dick. “A good third of the people at the club have either already had sex with him, want to have sex with him, or a combination of both. During your session last week, Rodgie said Lettenhove fucked him so well he thought he was gay for another three months, like he’d gone temporarily blind to the charms of women it was so good.”

 Geralt scowled. 

 “I’m just repeating what he said. Don’t pretend you’re beyond gossiping about this.”

 “I can’t place the name,” he admitted instead of answering that. Beyond gossip? Apparently not. Seeking it out? No. Especially about someone referred to as Lord Julian.

 “Really? Tall-ish. Handsome-ish. Good with his hands. Treadmill squad can’t seem to take their eyes off him. Was in on Thursday.”

 New client. Thursday. “Jaskier?”

 “Yes,” Lambert agreed with a snap of his fingers. “That’s the name he uses. Rich people, eh?”

 Jaskier?

 Lambert shook his head. “I can’t tell if you just don’t notice people or if you genuinely aren’t into dick, sometimes.”

 ****

 Geralt was into dick.

 Sometimes.

 ****

 He noticed. 

 Not anything different about Jaskier. The man still talked his way through whatever exercises Geralt threw at him, far too flirtatious for comfort, and never really seemed to notice that he was being openly appraised by almost every single person on exercise machines. 

 But Geralt did. 

 ****

 It wasn’t that Geralt noticed Jaskier, it was just that Jaskier was standing at the smoothie bar on a day they weren’t scheduled to work together and he noticed the incongruity of seeing Jaskier on a Friday morning.

 Wearing shorts.

 It wasn’t really the shorts that kept his attention, it was the same thing about Jaskier that he’d noticed from the first moment they’d started working together - Jaskier’s damn legs and those calves that told of a less sedentary lifestyle than Jaskier pretended.  Geralt didn’t understand why someone would stop by the gym in a health club only to lounge around doing nothing if they obviously spent a lot of time working out their legs (at least).

 It took him a bit longer than it should have to realize he was gawking just as badly as Jaskier’s damn treadmill fanclub. He turned his back and pretended he was very interested in something else. Anything else.

 “Hey,” Jaskier said, handing Geralt the second smoothie in his hands. Geralt was sure the person overdoing it on the rowing machine wilted in jealousy. “Are you in a session?”

 “Technically,” Geralt said and took a sip of the smoothie. It tasted like summer. 

 Jaskier grinned at him. “No show?”

 “Sauna.”

 “That’s an option?” Jaskier asked, but looked more amused than anything. “And here I’ve been exercising like a chump”

 “It’s an option.”

 “Of course, I wouldn’t leave you out here fully clothed. Seems like a waste.” He grinned at Geralt, sly in a way that included Geralt in the joke.  “Maybe you could advise me on the best ways to steam it up.”

 “It’s an option,” Geralt repeated.

 “I…” Jaskier started to say and then closed his mouth.  “Really?”

 “But if you do, you won’t make any progress.”

 “In my butt or with you?” he blurted out.  “And yes, I can hear that sentence is one finished thought away from a dirty joke but I’m going to be the bigger man here.”

 Geralt seriously doubted that.

 “Oh my god. Are you one finished thought from making that into a dick joke?” Jaskier looked delighted.  “Yass, Geralt.”

 The sauna door opened, and Geralt prepared himself to finish the last five minutes of the hour, which consisted of making sure his client was hydrated before sending him on his way, rather than continuing this conversation with Jaskier.  

 “Wait,” Jaskier said, with a hand on Geralt’s arm. “Is there something I can make progress on?”

 Geralt shrugged.  There wasn’t NOT something, which he knew wasn’t an answer either. 

 “Ok, so, that’s not a no. I acknowledge it’s not a yes, but it’s also not a no, and you’re not someone who has trouble with the word no. So.” Jaskier waved his hand, spraying smoothie from the top of his straw.  “That’s cool.”

 That’s cool, Geralt repeated in his head as he walked away. He probably should have said no just to save himself the pain of hearing that’s cool.

 ****

 “There’s a rumour you’re about to get laid,” Lambert said on their bi-weekly meet up for beer. 

 “That’s cool,” Geralt said with a shrug.

 Which, honestly, was worth it just for the look on Lambert’s face.

 ****

 “Ok,” Jaskier said on Monday, which also wasn’t one of their scheduled meetings. He showed up like some kind of annoyance mirage wearing a brightly coloured shirt and shoes meant for lounging. Geralt was in the middle of helping the Earl of Something’s second son work off his weekend bender. The man had run off to puke twice already and Jaskier’s shirt wasn’t helping any. Neither was the way Jaskier snapped his fingers in front of his clammy face. “Off you go, you’re looking a little peaked.”

 “Thank you!”

 Jaskier rolled a yoga ball over with his foot and perched on it, crossing his legs. It occurred to Geralt that Jaskier was like a male peacock posturing, with his vibrant clothes and stupid pose. It also occurred to Geralt that he shouldn’t be into it.  “We should go out for coffee and stuff.”

 “Fine.”

 “What?” Jaskier said, losing his balance and almost falling on the floor.

 “Coffee and stuff. Fine. Let’s go out.”

 “I…” Jaskier opened his mouth. Closed it.  “Expected more of an argument and to maybe leave disappointed.”

 Geralt shrugged.  “Why?”

 “I don’t know!” Jaskier threw up his hands and then stood.  His movements had an ease to them that they wouldn’t if he didn’t fucking exercise somewhere. Geralt was going to figure it out because he was pretty sure if he asked anyone they’d say it was from sex and life didn’t work that way. “Because you asked me if I ride and meant a horse!”

 “You stop by the smoothie bar, grab a lounge chair for a few hours, and take a nap whenever you come in.  Something needed to account for your legs.”

 Jaskier started laughing.

 “Don’t say it,” Geralt told him with annoyance.

 “You noticed,” Jaskier stressed. 

 ****

 “I hate that I know why you look so relaxed,” Lambert grumbled.

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #geraskier

[miekasa]

do share your thoughts on the SnK final chapter and ending if you read it! <3

OKAY!! Here are just some of my thoughts, none of which are uniform lmaooo and are subject to change if I think about it long enough <22 lots of stuff I haven’t completely figured out or reconciled with yet, but here we go 

Eren’s death

I wanted him to die, and one way or another, he was destined to die; so this is kind of the ending I asked for. 

I wanted him to die for a few reasons, most of which revolve around my desire for him to finally rest and not have to shoulder all the burdens that have been put on him for any longer. So, his death definitely did that for me, and I wouldn’t change it. 

BUT it was heartbreaking to see that, for once, he genuinely did not want to die, and wanted to have time to spend with Mikasa after everything. Eren has asked to die multiple times in the past, and his death was inevitable at some point in time; so to see that in his final moments, he finally said/realized he didn’t want to go made it so bittersweet. 

The thing I’m happiest about the most is that he achieved his original goal: to kill all the titans. As a titan himself, he was always a part of that plan, so, again I’m okay with his death. But it’s a twisted, beautiful sort of tragedy that in wanting to kill himself to achieve his dream, he found a sense of personhood that made him think life was worth living [even if his goal wasn’t achieved]. 

Another important reason I believed he needed to/should have died is because I didn’t want him to have to suffer at the hands of any other government or empire again. Even if none of the shit with Marley or the other nations happened, and he found away to “free” everyone without murder, the government of Paradis wouldn’t have trusted him. They never really did. 

Eren has been locked up and/or under constant supervision since he was 15. And when he wasn’t, it’s because he was kidnapped and somebody else was preying on his death. Even when he desperately pleaded to help and showed that he wanted to use his titan to help, he was treated like a criminal, and less than human.

You can’t... you can’t treat a kid like that and expect him to turn out normal 😭😭 or to not want to go to extremes, or to become a pacifist, or to spinelessly hand over his own life and ambitions. (Honestly... think he should have started with murking a few people in Wall Sina, but whatever 🙄)

This is all to say, that if he continued to live, free of the 13 year curse, he wouldn’t have been free in any nation. He probably would have been executed, or at the very least, locked up until he died. So, I’m happy that he was able to die at his own hand (and Mikasa’s, too). 

Eren’s character

I obviously still love his character, and I don’t think his actions in the final season ruined him for way. There’s a lot to come to terms with, but I like that about him. I’ll work through all the details one day, and I’m okay with that. In fact, I don’t think Eren even ever got the chance to figure himself out independent of his titan.

His secret keeping was questionable, but not out of character. He’s always ruminated until he figures something out, or gets stuck and needs help—he’s always had the whole thing about doing everything on his own. 

Until that one conversation with him, Mikasa, and Armin after the fight with Jean in s3. I’d always read that as him beginning to understand that he didn’t have to everything on his own, and that he was going to be relying on his friends from thereon out. But, sometimes, I feel like that realization got erased...? I don’t know, maybe the more I think about it, the more it’ll make sense, but that’s one part I’m still working through. 

The only other thing I didn’t understand is how he got so smart LMAOOO. His plan and actions required quite a bit of thought, foresight, and sacrifice that he’s never really shown before; at least not to this degree. Like I said though, if you factor in how his was treated, and how his life always had an expiration date, it begins to make sense why he was so quick and insistent to act, so it’s not completely out of left field for me—and I could even make the argument that he wasn’t really that smart and was just as impulsive (ish) and hot-headed as he’s always been; but like I said, I’m still figuring it out. Not sure what it was that awakened his braincells but I’ll get there LMAOOO

Eren + Mikasa

Fuck y’all I like Eremika goodnight. I can’t help it, I’m a simple bitch: I see childhood friends to lovers, and I fold. You should too smh.

I... don’t think the little cottagecore timeline from 138 was out of character for either of them. I see the arguments that it was, and that’s cool, but I see it as something very real and plausible. 

Eren showed that he did all of this to ensure that even if he couldn’t bring peace to the whole world, at the very least, he could do his best to make sure his friends live long, happy lives. An alternate way for that would have been to give Mikasa the opportunity to spend his remaining years with him. 

Eren has always done his best Mikasa and Armin, even if his methods seemed harsh or apathetic. The way I see it, running away with Mikasa in his final year is not only becoming and telling of the kind of friend/person his is, but it would have been his way to atone for being an idiot and not acting upon his feelings [in a more traditional sense] earlier.

He knew either way it was too late, but he also knew that he owed her—and himself—even a piece of peace before it all ended, whichever way it was going to end. And I think that’s a part of Eren’s character that’s often overlooked. 

Mikasa’s ending

I think that Eren ultimately killed himself, but it’s undeniable that Mikasa helped, and I’m glad she did. If Eren was going to die by anybody’s hands, I wanted it to be Mikasa’s or Levi’s. 

I think Levi would have been symbolic, given his speech in the courtroom in s1, about how killing Eren is the best he could do, and that there was no in-between. But I’m happy with Mikasa doing it too, because, in a way, I think she ended up being able to do the one thing Levi didn’t have the physical strength left to do. I also like it as far as Mikasa’s relationship with Levi goes; she kind of becomes him in this complicated way, and it shows how far they’ve come in terms of trust. They’re a pretty good team. 

I don’t see why anyone would give her shit for sitting at Eren’s gravestone. It had been only three years since he died, and regardless of the amount of time that had passed, if it was the anniversary of his death, that’s a perfectly normal thing to do...? So many people hate her for being in love Eren and I don’t get it. She’s just mourning, and she’s well within her rights to do so. 

Actually, I think that Mikasa being shown to have loved and mourned for Eren so outwardly were the most profound displays of bravery in this whole series. 

It takes so much courage to love, especially in her world, but Mikasa has never shied away from it. I would even go so far as to argue that she is the character with the strongest sense of self and self-worth. I don’t think people realize how much it takes to know anything about yourself that assuredly—so many characters are left with unanswered questions about their world, themselves, and their place in it—but Mikasa has always known that she loves Eren. 

That’s an insanely hard thing to know and to do. And she wasn’t blind about it either, nor did she believe her love was unconditional (and if she gets shit for having hope for Eren, then so should Armin, but we know why he doesn’t get the same heat for it). She heard out the concerns of her friends, she let go of the scarf, and she killed him in the end. 

I would have liked to see her talk to Kiyoomi again, and perhaps see her being associated with that nation/country/whatever it was. But she’s still thee baddest bitch and the best girl. 

Levi

WE IN THIS BITCH!! WE ABSOLUTELY IN THIS BITCH!! 

ROUND OF APPLAUSE LADIES AND GAYS AND THEYS FOR THE MAN, THE MYTH, THE LEGEND HIMSELF!! 

If he died, I would have rioted. On god. 

This is the EXACT ending I wanted for him. I’m so happy that he gets time to rest knowing that none of his decision were in vain; and that he shouldn’t regret anything he did.

l know the wheelchair was literal in the sense that he was injured, but I also think it’s metaphorical in that he no longer has to standing on his own two feet, and carry everyone on his back. For once, for fucking once, he can literally sit back and read a fucking book in peace. 

Also Gabi and Falco taking care of him is so fucking cute, I loved that so, so, so much. 

Others

I don’t think Hange needed to die, goodbye. I get why they did, and I’m glad they went out in a way they wanted do, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it BYE. 

Pieck is far too sexy for her titan to have been that ghastly. Porco, too. Speaking of Porcupine, I fucking love him. I didn’t think I would like him this much, but I do, and now I miss him. 

When did Connie get so s*xy

I stand by the belief that this wouldn’t have happened with Erwin around—and for the worse. Yes, I think Hange waited longer than they should have to act; but I understand they were overwhelmed, and had a lot of responsibility, and regret, clouding over them. 

That being said, I think Erwin would have been 10x worse LMFAO with all his secret keeping and mystery. With all the shit going on, all the information being revealed to Paradis, and with Eren’s own secret keeping, I don’t think Erwin’s character and way of planning would have been conducive the new environment. RIP tho Erwin, you a legend for the shit you did, big ups on that my guy. 

I... guys, I like Reiner. Like, a lot. What goes on. 

I still hate H*storia and I think she caused a lot of problems that could have been resolved relatively quickly if she left 😐😐  yeah, yeah, girl power or whatever, but I don’t like it. I don’t like her. Bye. 

I have more thoughts on Marley and the other nations, but that’s a whole separate rant that I will spare you from for now 

#anonymous #snk spoilers #aot spoilers #aot 139 #snk 139 #sometimes.... i have thoughts 😌

[shieldfoss]

Epistemology is funny sometimes

So my mother is a GP, and a really good one.

Right?

Except how would I know that? She tells stories from her clinic about some great successes she has had over the years but after (checks notes) 40 years, even the greatest idiot must have had a couple of successes, even if it’s nothing but pure dumb luck.

Right?

She tells me about other doctors whose fuckups she fixes but

like

listen I have some colleagues who make some really dumb mistakes sometimes and think they’re fixing things, and in turn, I have some very experienced senior colleagues whose mistakes sometimes need fixing. Fixing other people’s mistakes doesn’t mean you’re smarter than them - it doesn’t even mean you’re right, or smart at all.

Right?

So how do I know? Am I just blinded by Filial Piety?

But, hey, funny story time: Back this summer (mid-may to early june-ish?) I took a really bad step and sprained my foot weirdly. It wasn't really the ankle? Like, it felt kind of like in between two bones down in the actual foot itself? And there was no swelling? So I went to my GP and he prodded a bit and couldn't really say what was up, and I had an xray of the whole thing taken and there was nothing visible on the xray and I guess just keep it rested for a little while?

And the pain went away after like a week of immobility so I guess that worked.

Different but related funny story: Back this Tuesday evening on a walk I slipped on a patch of slippery sidewalk (ice? in Denmark in December? Not unlikely I guess) and I didn't fall, but by Wednesday mid-day my foot was hurting and by Thursday morning it was bad.

In exactly the same weird way it was this summer, sort of in between two bones - but without swelling? And I could barely walk on that foot. I could "walk," in the sense that I could briefly use my heel and no parts of my actual foot to take my weight. I did all my Cyberpunk shitposting from bed because fuck getting up and to my desk.

And after spending all of Friday in bed, and all of Saturday, and running out of Ibuprofen and dreading walking to the store to get more on a foot that was already terrible, I called her on Sunday morning - at seven in the damn morning like the most ungrateful child - and asked her to please show up with some pain killer and maybe take a look please?

And I had the exact same problems as I had this summer so I feared I'd get the same answer as I got from my GP this summer - "that's weird" and "keep it rested."

Not this doctor, no.

By Sunday midday, barely three hours later, I could walk on the foot correctly. In pain, yes, but correctly.

But. You know. Placebo is a thing, right? "Your mother paid extra attention to you" sure is a thing that could trigger it, especially if you believe she's a very skilled doctor.

My mother is a GP, and a really good one.

...right?

However: She did significantly more detailed and specific prodding than my GP did this summer, found the exact set of movement that would hurt, the exact place it was localized, exercized that specific joint once or twice. "(X joint) is inflamed" "Don't keep it entirely rested, it'll do you good to get a little movement in it." "Ibuprofen is anti-inflammatory, that'll help"

And I said to her, that Sunday morning before things had improved at all, that I was glad she could find a specific thing, my old GP hadn't been nearly so thorough in examining my foot.

And she said "I hear that a lot when I get new patients with old unexplained pains"

My mother is a GP.

She is a really good at it, too.

Epistemology is funny sometimes.

[thebadchoicemachine]

Cryptid Jon (Blind Eye AU)

An AU where Jon prevents himself from finishing the watcher’s crown. He shut the eye but in doing so kind of resets everything and he gets erased from existence somehow.  

If you wanna do something more with this be my guest btw, write, draw, whatever. Don’t even have to credit i'm just throwing stuff out here.

Things get reset back to episode one basically

Although Jon doesn’t and has never existed there’s no real butterfly effect from this, things are the same but he’s absent.

Archivist!Sasha?

None of the Fears nor their avatars are aware of him, not even the web or eye.

In fact he’s a blind spot for the eye, at least to Jonah.

He’s still got those good good Archivist powers and can fight avatars, it just doesn’t feed the eye like it used to. Just him. They’re HIS powers now.

He decides he should keep his distance because w h a t  t h e  h e l l  he is NOT rushing into this one. Keeping his card close as he can.

Basically tries to secretly help out the Archivist Crew with as much self control as he can. (LOTS of angst from the shadows about Tim, Sasha, Martin)

Lives in the tunnels and chats  with Leitner some before he gets piped.

“accidentally” Fails to mention to Leitner that there’s a pipe with his name on it.

Meets Michael and they’re kinda buds now(?)

He kind of reveals himself preventing the Jane Prentiss attack.

Manages to stop the Not!Them from taking anyone.

Everyone’s just worried and confused like “oh no there’s another monster and he knows all about us?”

except Elias who is kind of freaking out because he has no idea who that is and he can’t See it either what the fuuuuuuu but files it in the back of his head as some weird Darkness Avatar and maybe it can mark Sasha.

Elias is trying to build the watchers crown with Sasha now btw because he has no idea of what happened before.

•••

Well shit, Basira is looking into him now because he managed to still be blamed for Leitner’s murder.

This wouldn’t be a problem if Daisy (currently unchecked avatar of the Hunt) wasn’t helping her GF.

Jon’s out of the tunnels now because the Archive Crew’s exploring. (Not!Them escaped and is staying away from the Eye’s domain so it’s not trapped there. Preparing for the unknowing probably.)

Jon makes some knew friends! (The other Avatars) They hate him! Very Much!

Jon’s actually become a bit infamous among the things of the fears as this (supposed) Avatar to The Eye that just keeps fucking their stuff up.

Micheal is just loving watching everyone pull their hair about this. He’s still taking people though (Helen…)

Peter complains about it to Elias. Elias has moved him up a few spaces on his his concern list.

Meanwhile Sasha, Tim, and Martin have also shifted their focus to that strange man that helped(?) them, supposedly clocked an old man to death, then vanished.

He shows up in statements sometimes and they’re debating on wether he’s a monster or some kind of monster hunter or maybe just a friendly-ish monster...

Tim think’s he’s good because he killed the worms (and stopped a circus mannequin in one statement), Martin’s cautious because he showed up at his house right before the worms attacked him and Sasha’s torn and undecided.

Sasha and Daisy have a fight like Daisy and Jon did but it gets sorted in a similar way except with less Elias hate.

Elias doesn’t face as much resistance in this au so doesn’t let his mask slip as much but he is being thrown so off by Jon.

Elias gets less hate because everyones focusing more on Jon aka strange library man aka Joe Spooky.

But I cannot stress enough how much worse this is for him than cannon.

•••

Melanie and Georgie are on a date or something when they come home to find a stranger petting the Admiral. Freaking out they jump to fight (Melanie)/call the police (Georgie) but the man stands up apologizing they froze.

Having him look directly at them made them feel like he was looking at every layer of them, from clothes to skin to bone.

It felt like he could riffle through their minds like a file cabinet but (even worse) like he didn’t need too. Like he already knew everything he wanted to about them.

He said they clearly didn’t recognize him, disappointed, like they should have, and that he just needed something familiar to be with for a while (gesturing to the cat).

He then mumbled something about recommending they avoid travel for a while and started to walk briskly (almost… awkwardly?) past them to the door.

He paused halfway out the door and mumbled to “stay away from The Magnus Institute, especially the Archivist. Don’t give them anything and whatever you do-”

He turned, and they could feel him seeing something about themselves even they didn’t know, all apologeticness gone from his character. “Do. Not. Give. A statement.”

They knew- they KNEW- with every fiber of their beings that he meant them no harm but would bring it regardless. In that moment, with every fiber of their beings, they knew.

Then he blinked and hurried out before either of them could snap to their senses.

They filled out a police report and tried to forget it but could constantly swear they caught glimpses of him around their neighborhood after that.

•••

Oh Boy The Web Keeps Trying To Wrap Itself Around Jon But It’s Not Working And It’s Pissing It Off!

The Unknowing happens much earlier

Eventually they go to stop the unknowing (guided by Elias) along with Basira and Daisy.

Nikola actually kidnapped Jon because she was obsessed with this “stranger” and thought he’d be fun for the ritual.

Micheal frees him and Helen shows up but they don’t kill each other. 

Micheal liiiives. 

Instead The Archive Crew finds a door opening up and the strange man from the tunnels assures them that the unknowing will fail whether they do anything or not.

He warns Sasha (and subconsciously Tim) especially to stay away from the stranger.

He lets slip a BUNCH more of way more personal information he knows about them to convince them to stay away.

He also warns them to not trust Elias. After Matin went “but Elias said-“

Sasha want to know what The Stranger means.

Tim does not like this. Neither does Daisy. They end up trying to fight Jon. Jon refuses to fight and let’s slip something about The Hunt controlling Daisy then bolts back into Helen’s door.

The Archivcrew end up being stalled enough that by the time they get there the whole place is aflame. (Thanks Jude….)

Tim and Martin have switched opinions of him. Tim distrusts him now and Martin feels he’s an ally, at least. Sasha has decided that whatever he is he’s information and goes on a search to find him with Daisy (uh oh) and Basira.

They end up going to where a break in was reported, nothing stolen and the description of a short, heavily scarred man with long hair matched their spooky man. (It’s Georgie’s house.)

Georgie and Melanie accidentally end up giving a statement which made for a very awkward moment when they said he said to not give anything to the Archivist and Sasha had to clear her throat and mention that she is the Archivist. Oops.

Meanwhile Elias is going nuts because now this blind spot has actively disrupted his plans. Jon has his full attention.

Elias (…Jonah) is patient. He’s waited so long for this, putting plans on hold to stomp out an unwanted rock in the road is fine.

1/? will probably make more of this EDIT: part 2

#tma #tma au #the magnus archives #the magnus institute #magnuspod #alternate universe #head canon #time travel #archivist!sasha #cryptid jon #blind eye au

[mantra4ia]

Debris 1x13 "Celestial Body": rewatch Reaction'd, questions and comments

So if all those people are experiencing emotional convergence, who are they converging from? Who's sending the emotional signal that the debris is channeling, or is it the debris manifesting it's "consciousness" in a way that we can understand it by way of human conduits?

Maddox is clearly trading debris pieces with Irina (perhaps the piece that he took out of storage off the books), and Irina is on the phone with presumably her handler/ boss to negotiate this trade. She gives him lateral (which I assume means latitudinal) readings and then he asks for longitudinal readings which we don't get to hear. They are: Lateral 105, 112, 115, 120, 113, 110, 109

What's the significance of these measures? Latitude goes from 0° to 90° from the equator, so that doesn't track unless the scene is cut wrong and they're meant to be longitudinal (E/W) readings, which go to 180° relative to the prime meridian. That would make more sense, because after Irina is done with the first set of readings, the unknown caller on the phone says "drop to level two for vertical" and latitudes are North/South.

If we're talking Western longitudes, notable landmarks include: Denver, Salt Lake City UT / Phoenix AZ / nearly Sedona AZ - aka where the telesphere went, Las Vegas, Lake Tahoe/ Nevada border, Great Salt Lake, Alberta-Saskatchewan border, and the Utah-Arizona border.

Or perhaps they're not part of terrestrial measurement at all. The act of "lateral reading" could just mean verifying your sources/accuracy as you go, where as vertical reading is reading for content first to see if something is worth evaluating for sources.

However, if they are part of coordinates, then is the fragment that Maddox is trading with Irina a legitimate "mapmaker" piece like George previously said Influx was seeking? Ya know, when he lied to his daughter. Can a mapmaker piece track moving/animate debris akin to the telesphere? Are those black dust cloud beings George is running from made up of animate debris?

Bryan: After becoming a parent you're in a heightened emotional state, emotionally raw.

George: Higher highs, lower lows, the joy of having a child, the postpartum depression, and the fear of getting it wrong.

Me: Are we in a pensive, self-reflective mood, George? Are you practicing your pub trivia Bryan, delivering exposition, or are you speaking from personal character experience? Seriously, how would you know?!

John Noble as Otto, man why does he always make such a good villain?

What is with the cryptic vagueness when Maddox tells Irina, "You know I can't let you leave with that case right? I mean you know that. There's another door for you Irina, one that only you can go through." They seemed almost on good terms in a previous episode, like friends or something more in a past life "nice car, i almost left / no you didn't", he wouldn't kill her, would he? Or is it more like a code between them, a sort of "I'm being watched, take the back exit"?

Hey, so why is it that sometimes George's eye seems opaque and damaged from the debris implant, but then when he's talking to Finola after he distracts Bryan while being Debris whisperer, his eye seems fine? PS: I googled Tyrone Benskin just to see what he looks like when he's not playing George Jones and I didn't know he's a former member of Canadian Parliament. Don't trust the government, eh?

George: "You're such a compassionate person, you always have been. So much of your mother in you." That's the second time that Finola's mother has been mentioned in the series, back from the pilot. Is it a coincidence that the first piece of debris that chose to interact with Finola resonated her mom? More than just Finola's desire being reflected by the debris, but the debris emoting it's first impression of her as someone compassionate that it can trust?

It also raises my heckles that George repeats, almost word for word, something that Finola said in episode 3. "If we can't help people, we do not deserve this debris / if we don't use this debris on these people, we are not worthy to have it." Are father and daughter that ideologically similar, or has he been spying on her progress this whole time, or both?

George: "I took my life to allow myself a rebirth, I paid the price. I want you to know that not one day goes by that I don't think of you and your sister. I want you to know this." This coincides with my initial impression that George staged his death to get away from Orbital after he assessed how his research was being used/abused.

George: "You never wanted to go into the pool, I had to throw you in, and you kicked and screamed, but you always did better that way." Immabout to throw you George, just keep talking!!!! I'm sorry, this charicature of absentee father reminiscing about the good old days really ticks me off from personal experience.

Also, as a person with a disability, I am not particularly pleased with the use of Dario as a plot device instead of a thoughtful character with a backstory at this point in the show for 13 whole episodes now. Pretty pissed off actually, so they better do something phenomenal and pivotal with Christian Rose (Dario) in season 2 [maybe have his character interact with debris in a similar way to Caroline]. But that's another rant about ableism in screenwriting for another angry day....

George: "A telesphere was born yesterday. It came from a pocket dimension inside Orbital. I think it's birth may have triggered the debris." This is perhaps the one-ish episode that I find George remotely interesting and also infuriating, particularly because of the way he speaks, like he's finally taken off the guise of the old, well-meaning eccentric and turned into a sharp, cunning, and at times calculatingly ruthless individual. I find it peculiar that he says a telesphere is born. Makes me think that the debris is not just part of a spacecraft, but a hybrid of the beings piloting that craft.

I get tremendous satisfaction from Finola head-butting people. This should continue.

I'm not familiar with all of the work of JH Wyman to know if this is a running theme or an ongoing joke. But does he keep his writing staff in a constant state of starvation? Is that why pieces of debris are called "Nachos", and why Influx has "Beans" to shield them from debris side effects, and why Bryan is always eating junk food? Should I be worried about the writer's room and start sending them healthy snacks?!? Just give me an SOS in the credit roll.

Speaking of: is the "Bean" that Finola ingested a piece of debris? Similar to the pieces of debris that fused with Anson Ash? Will it impart some physical benefits to her moving forward?

"I won't lose you again...you belong with me." What are you talking about George Jones, you made the conscious decision to leave your family. You didn't lose Finola, she lost you. In this version of reality at least. Or (unscripted backstory) did Jones and his wife separate prior to her death / was Finola brought up mostly by her mother? That doesn't seem the case if she was buying her father birthday presents and took it upon herself to settle his affairs after his death.

Why do the Influx Operatives Otto and Anson have tattoos on their hands, but not Loeb? Is he like the low end of the totem pole FNG who hasn't earned his stripes, hence why Otto gives him s***: aka "Careful you cretin. All the finesse of a butcher."

What is the hierarchy of Influx anyway? Despite being an anti-government "for the people/ elevate the human consciousness" organization they do still seem to have a governing hierarchy and Otto and George seem to be on the same level, pretty high in rank / they talk with confidence to each other like they go back a while.

What is that weird thing that Otto does with his hands to Bryan's head? What are all the weird things Otto does, including his massacre at the petrol station? Ick.

Why is it that Leob and George are freaked out by the black smoke (debris particle?) man, but Anson and Otto aren't? They seem to see them(?), but don't overtly react.

Bryan: "It seems like we're entering some kind of new phase." Gee where have I heard that one before? Oh yeah, the story of "Blackwater grandfather" and the black wind that they're still teasing endlessly while refusing to tether it into some kind of world building lore. Agggghh!

Lololol, Bryan and Finola's dynamic even in the midst of a very serious episode makes me laugh. "Devon Reese / two e's? / Two e's!" "This one smells like baby diapers. Almost as bad as the tech section of the plane/ You mean your section of the plane. / Almost." That zinger 👍

Paraphrasing Bryan: "[recapping, recap, and did I mention recap]...something about George doesn't feel right." Personal pet peeve: I HATE IT when episodes have intentional explanatory lines like this to point out the fact that we as audience are privy to information that the main characters aren't. Not only does it make the main characters seem less intelligent, it breaks the fourth wall a little bit and gives the impression that the audience, which is ahead of the plot, is not as intelligent and needs a reminder that we're ahead. Lackadaisical writing drives me nuts!!! I can't outright say that it's "bad" dialogue, but it's not a choice I would make if I wanted uninterrupted viewer immersion.

Finola: "My instincts are good" Me: You are an emotionally intelligent decision maker with gaping personal blind spots.

George: You belong with me, your father.

Finola: My father died six months ago, and you are not him.

Me: Chef's kiss 👏👏👏

Otto: "It would never have worked out with that girl [Finola], not in any iteration." Definitely makes me lean towards the fan theory that the alt!Finola in (presumably) suspensia in Sedona Arizona got plucked from another reality.

Surprisingly, the ending credit roll has no voiceover as all the previous episodes of the season have. Disappointed that there's no potential teaser to a season 2 if the show gets renewed. But I find it curious that the extras who were demonstrating emotional convergence were credited as: chess board persons. Not sure if that's relevant, but I definitely feel like this show is playing games with me and my emotions.

#nbc debris #debris 1x13 #debris spoilers #george jones #finola jones #bryan beneventi #celestial body #sci fi #high concept sci fi #questionable execution #this show guys #renew debris #but also I need to talk with JH Wyman

[vegetasleftsock]

Ooo matchups? I've never done these before but im intrigued lol could i get uhh platonic DB matchup? I'm 5'2, long-ish blue-black hair and bangs, blind af and wear glasses, also pale af 😂 uhh I'm super introverted and shy but not as much once I get comfortable. Even when I'm comfortable I still prefer to listen rather than talk. I'm really awkward so I never know what to say but I be listening. I also overthink a lot and as a result I get hurt by the most pointless things 😂 let's see uhh I tend to doubt myself a lot, so I really value someone who encourages me to take on that challenge or try that new thing, or that reassures me I did fine when I'm being really hard on myself. I also value someone who can pick up on my "pls help" cues and care enough to check in since I tend to bottle things up out of fear of being a burden. My coping mechanisms hobbies include rewatching the same shows 18373827 times, drawing, and playing the violin. I also love learning things from others, so I like people that don't mind explaining things to me. Uhh I'm not sure what else to add I hope that's enough 😂 thank u friend 💚

Super, my dearest friend. I know what you wanted from this matchup... let me go ahead and disappoint you. Today, I am going to be the mom friend and I am going to give you not what you want, but what I know you deserve.

End thesis.

I’d pair you with...

Gohan!!! Because he’s a freaking sweetheart. Let me explain.

Why

- Gohan loves your personality- and you’re introverted moments are just another piece to his favorite puzzle. Anytime you’re willing talk, he’s all ears. This man will genuinely listen to anything you have to say and he’ll remember it- so your breath will never go to waste.

- BUT he also loves how good of a listener you are. He likes to ponder and go on little tangents about whatever he’s stuck on at the moment. Whether it be philosophy, rules of psychology, politics, science, or just what you’ll be having for dinner that night- he tends to ramble. Gohan knows that he doesn’t have to hold himself back in front of you, because you really can get lost in conversation with him... even if it’s mostly one sided 😂

- Also, I know you didn’t add this because I’m sure it would be too braggadocios for you... but you’re really smart. Aaaaand.... he’s really smart. And big brained biddies need to keep each other company, you know? I think y’all would be really excellent at mentally activating and challenging each other. Nothing is lost upon either of you when it comes to greater thinking and so I think he would be a wonderful partner for you in this aspect.

- The thoughtfulness with this one? A+, absolutely fucking top tier. If you’re ever going through it, but you don’t have the energy to blatantly say, “hi, today I’m dying :)”- he will catch on. You don’t want to talk about it? Fine with him. He’s listened to you when you’ve talked about what makes you comfortable and what makes you happy; so he’s already well prepared to do whatever will brighten your day.

Gohan for you

- Gohan loves that you have goals and ambitions and that sometimes you keep your head down and buckle in to ensure you achieve whatever you’re chasing. He will be your #1 cheerleader. When exams and homework assignments pile up and you feel like you’ve been working from sun rise to sun set, he’ll check in on you ever-so-often. He’ll make breakfast, lunch, and dinner (healthy, but something you still enjoy) so you can focus and perform at your max. You should also expect other sweet gestures like a warm blanket pulled straight from the dryer, water or your favorite drink to sip on, and study breaks filled with naps, snacks, tv-shows, quick walks, and whatever makes you feel refreshed.

- Gohan can definitely be adventurous in the right settings. His training with Piccolo taught him to not be afraid of new things, and that sometimes it’s just better to jump into the water than to give yourself time to slowly adjust. He likes to take that same philosophy with you and he feels like he can really relate to you on that basic level. So anytime you’re interested in trying something new, but you’re too afraid- don’t worry! Gohan will be there for you every step. You might find that your new favorite pass time is trying new things just because of how special this sweetheart makes every experience.

- Any time you feel like you’ve failed yourself, others, or that you have the weight of the world on your shoulders- Gohan is there to take some of that pressure away. He will never let you feel like you’re less than- because he knows that you’re a caring, kind, and genuine person who deserves everything good that comes your way! Whenever you’re sad he likes to give you words of affirmation that make you feel special, needed, wanted, and safe.

- there is not a SINGLE hobby that you have that this man does not get ALL KINDS OF NERDY GIDDY FOR. Obsessing over a show together, sharing bits of writing with each other, and definitely DEFINITELY hearing you play the violin makes Gohan feel like he’s won the jackpot.

A song I feel matches this relationship:

Fly me to the moon - Frank Sinatra

This relationship is just classic, A-tier, reminds me of reading a good book and sitting in a quiet library. Exploration, soft notes, gentle touches, and absolute sweetness.

First date:

Gohan would definitely get take out from a nice restaurant and bring it back to his place so you could enjoy it together in a private & calm setting. After, he shows you he’s set up a pillow fort so you can relax and watch whatever movie/show you’re interested in!

This is no ordinary pillow fort though- this man took HOURS putting this shit together.

Stringlights, sweets and desserts, extra blankets, card games- you name it- he’s thought of it.

....

@supersaiyantist I hope you loved this!!! Thanks for submitting, friend :) 💖

#dragon ball #dragon ball matchup #fruit basket matchup #matchups #bnha matchup #mha matchup #son gohan #gohan