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empydoc · 15 days

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that isn’t me. [a “self-aware” angel concept]

“Angel? Have you seen my jacket?”

it doesn’t take a genius to gather if it is or isn’t themselves when they look in the mirror. at least, at face value. nobody shares your face as much as it is your own.

you might have a twin or a sibling that looks like you. they aren’t you, though. they don’t have your blemishes or your teeth. not your hair or your eyebrows. none of those little details.

some people might wake up and look in the mirror and think ‘wow. i look so different today.’ and go about it.

i can’t. that isn’t me. that isn’t my face.

“Angel?”

he opens the door and i look away from their reflection.

“What was the question?” I smile bashfully. He gives me a faux annoyed look- one that feels like it should be gentle, but in some way there’s judgement there. Is that something they’ve come to terms with? Something I should find endearing?

“Have you seen my jacket?” He appears to repeat, his tone softer. I give a general scan of the room, their fingers playing with the sleeves of my shirt before I shake my head.

“No,” I reply, “I’m sorry. Maybe you left it at work?”

He pauses, giving me a look that holds what I could consider confusion. He’s leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms.

there’s a silence in the pause that i don’t like. what did i say that sounded wrong? what would this person say instead? how do you pretend to be other than yourself?

He then interrupts the discomforting silence.

“That’s definitely possible. I’ll look when I go in.”

I nod, thinking the conversation would end at that point, but it doesn’t. There’s only a short pause before he tilts his head to the side, his eyes softening.

my- or, their- heart is pounding.

“Hey. Are you alright?” He asks.

it’s at this point i realise i don’t actually know this man’s name, but it feels as though it’s on the tip of my tongue. i look back at him almost dumbfounded, looking over his face for an answer to a question i hadn’t asked.

“Yeah.” I lie through my teeth, “when’re you leaving?”

“Five minutes?” He responds, before insisting upon the previous question, “are you sure?”

then is when i realise.

“David,” I smile, “don’t worry. I have, like, a little headache. Not even that.”

David looks at me quietly. He doesn’t seem satisfied, but not because of my poor excuse. Instead, it’s as though he’s heard news he couldn’t hear.

“Okay,” he then says, practically a whisper- “rest up.”

He leaves the room and I blink a few times.

there’s an air of confusion to me. a man who calls me angel. david. a person who isn’t me. angel.

i look back at the mirror. it feels a bit clearer now. not a smudge. my hand reaches out and presses fingertips against the surface, leaving prints.

i pull away and whisper to myself words i don’t speak.

“You aren’t me.”

I then respond.

“Pretend to be so.”

#lowercase & uppercase intentional #redacted audio #less than 300-400 words #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted david #redacted angel #empyconcept #redacted fic #📼.txt #notes:#i love self aware concepts #this one plays with the idea that someone who isn’t angel knows they aren’t them #and may be the listener #purely because they know david and angel #but of course it’s also involving angel as a person #lowercase insinuates the listener as a person #uppercase insinuates the listener as a character #one in the same

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vasito-de-leche · 3 months

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;R1999 - Self-Aware AU

Headcanons about an Alternate Universe in which everyone knows they're living inside a videogame. However, Vertin is the only one aware of the entity inhabiting her own mind, the real conductor - the "Player".

this is one of my favorite AUs to slap on whatever media I'm into so here we are <3 not sure if anyone's done this already, but PLEASE PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE link me if you've seen any other ppl write for this AU! this one and any actor AUs are my absolute fave

this is just a word vomit introduction for fun, to get the basic ideas out of my head, so I can start writing for characters individually!

Okay, okay! First of all, some context for the AU before I go deranged overexplaining my HCs!

Aside from the "Storm", there is something else that haunts the people of this world: the fact that their lives are nothing but a simulacrum, part of a game.

The requirements to obtain this "self-awareness" is unknown. Those within the Foundation believe it's related to their respective "roles", that only the main and relevant characters are given the chance to fully open their eyes to the truth. Those within Manus Vindictae claim that one must be strong enough to break through the fog of complacency and their assigned scripts, to have their full potential unleashed and obtain true liberation. Either way, similar to the "Storm", this is a well-kept secret for a very good reason - everyone wants to have the upperhand.

There is one outlier to this whole system. Vertin is not only aware of the truth of this world, but also of her duty as the eyes and hands of the "Player". She must experience it all for their sake. Or rather, whatever she experiences will be the story that the Player will see.

This applies to her suitcase, the place where the Player's influence increases tenfold, bending everything and everyone to their will through her own body and voice. The longer one stays within her suitcase - or within her general vicinity - the easier it is for them to become self-aware.

How does one become "self-aware" and what does it entail?

The requirements and the catalyst for a character to become self-aware are still a mystery. But that's mostly because I specifically wanted to keep them as vague as possible, to allow some flexibility for NPCs and other characters outside of Vertin's suitcase.

The whole process of gaining sentience or self-awareness is mostly described as waking up from a nightmare, or a very, very realistic dream. It's like a switch, something that happens in a second without any warnings whatsoever.

I like to think that most of the people who wake up are easy to spot, because it's a jarring experience and panicking is the most normal reaction - but that they're often taken care of by the Foundation or recruited by Manus Vindictae.

The levels of awareness also depend heavily on each individual - some only know that nothing is truly real, that everything they've done up until that point was just a carefully scripted lie, the most basic realization. Others can understand the rules that govern this game and use them to their advantage, either through observation and study or just inherently.

Overall, the experience of being sentient varies as well, with some describing a disconnect from their body, while others feel exactly the opposite. Again, keeping it pretty vague so that people can fill in with their own ideas!

I'll talk about Vertin's case in detail when we get to her specific bullet point, but the same way the Player is able to experience the "story" through her eyes, she's able to see the same things they do - this includes the UI, the menus and everything you can interact with in-game.

Vertin as a character and a vessel for the Player.

The most common thing I've seen in self-aware AUs in my years of fandom is to turn the player stand-in (the main character that serves for the player to experience the story through and/or project onto, depending on the genre of the game) into an obstacle, one that keeps the characters from truly interacting with the Player, capital P.

The second most common thing I've seen is to simply ignore the existence of this player stand-in and replace it with the Player themself, either through isekai methods or thanks to the customization the game allows, etc etc.

When it comes to Vertin in this AU, I know I want her to retain her role as the center of everything, instead of being sidelined by the Player. She's THE Timekeeper, after all.

There's still some details I'm trying to iron out, like whether she's always been self-aware or if she became self-aware at some point during her childhood at the St. Pavlov Foundation. But I like to think that her relationship to the Player is a parallel to her immunity to the "Storm" - neither of these two things are inherently good nor bad. Surviving the "Storm" is helpful, sure, but it's painful for her. Having an entity like the "Player" haunting her is scary, sure, but it can be an advantage. It's a matter of how she utilizes the assets she was given, since her adaptability and determination are big aspects of her character. Vertin makes up for her mediocre arcane skills with unconventional plans and strategies.

But this isn't to say that Vertin isn't affected by the presence of the Player. Ironically, she's the one person whose freedom is limited. During battles, her skills and Tuning are available to you, they can also prove to be vital to win a fight, but in the end you're still the one calling the shots and choosing when her friends get to attack. You're the one choosing the layout of the Wilderness. You're the one picking which one of her friends deserves to become stronger.

In the last bullet point I mentioned that some characters can understand the rules of the game - Vertin is the most extreme case, as she can see the same UI as you do. She learns the way you like to fight your battles, your own strategies, she can see this and more.

Overall it's a very complex dynamic. It's not as easy as saying that she likes or dislikes you, that she considers you a friend or foe. You're part of her, you influence each other in many aspects and are stuck together for reasons she can't even fathom. While you may be able to read her thoughts most of the time, she becomes invisible once you enter the suitcase - the main menu of the game. Sure, the character you selected to greet you every day is actually talking to her, not you, but she's out of your view and therefore, out of our range. That's when Vertin wonders the sort of person that you are, if you care about her friends as much as she does. Are you playing just to be entertained? Are you invested in these events? Will you be there for her until the end of her story?

Another detail I like to think about is that Vertin is the only one who knows your name. Because at the very beginning, you were asked to input a name and she was there.

[screenshot was taken from this video, since it's the first one I could find that showed this specific part of the game lol]

Well, "your name" not quite right - she knows that whatever you wrote there is the name linked to your account, at least. And that's the name she knows you as.

Those who take residence in Vertin's suitcase or spend prolonged amounts of time with her, growing closer to her and all, end up becoming self-aware. This is a direct side-effect of your presence.

I like to think that characters who reach the 100% Bond can begin to sense the Player, to see the world in a similar way as Vertin does. Maybe even feel their presence EXACTLY like Vertin does whenever there's a battle. There is someone else on the other side of this screen, the fourth wall, who watches over them.

To some, it's hard to differentiate Vertin from the Player, as they just go hand in hand - but Sonetto, for example, has the easiest time telling the two apart.

On the subject of freedom and acting out of script.

The Foundation, Manus Vindictae, Laplace... It doesn't matter if they're self-aware and acting outside of what their script dictates, because they're missing one key ingredient: you. No one else but Vertin and her group knows about your existence, after all.

They don't know that the only story that matters is the one that Vertin is part of. The one that the Player gets to see and read and experience. And because the game gives you a very limited view into the lives of these characters, you don't know what neither Arcana nor Constantine do behind the scenes. You and Vertin don't see that, therefore, it never truly mattered.

Those most likely to start "acting out" are the troublemakers within Vertin's suitcase. Characters who are too curious for their own good, who are more susceptible to supernatural entities, who are just too impulsive - they would start to test the limits and see how far they can go, how much they can interact with the Player. Can the game be broken should they end up shattering the fourth wall? Is there a way for the Player to communicate with them? What will happen to Vertin?

I like to think that Vertin probably supports this, as she's rather curious herself, prone to questioning everything. She would also like to learn more about the Player, to truly tear into the game and see the full extent of your influence and her freedom.

Sometimes, Regulus and X will change their usual voicelines, just enough to be noticeable if one pays enough attention. Characters like Sotheby or Leilani might slip up and address the Player, rather than Vertin. Lilya, Pavia, Bkornblume have new animations and different expressions, ones you've never seen before - they stare ahead, as if searching for something, and then smirk or hum to themselves, deep in thought, like they realized something you're not privy of.

Sometimes, if you leave them as your selected assistant on the main menu, you can catch them muttering to themselves - idle quotes you never heard enough, about the outside world. Diggers does this the most, it's almost embarassing how easy it is to catch him talking nonsense, followed by Sonetto. If you leave Medicine Pocket alone for too long, you might come back to a screen covered in weird scratch marks.

On the subject of these characters being curious about the outside world and all, I think that a good chunk of them are generally content with the way things are?

We have to remember that in-universe, they're arcanists displaced from their respective eras. Their best chance at surviving is siding with Vertin, and if Vertin is content with the way things are, then there's no point in trying to disrupt what they have right now. They're curious enough to prod, but only as far as Vertin allows it.

And I think that's it for the word vomit!

There are some details I didn't know where to fit in, like the possibility of the fourth wall slowly dissipating the more time the Player invests in the game, leading to some characters being able to directly hear you if you talk while playing and whatnot. Or what would happen should someone outside of Vertin's suitcase figure out the existence of the Player, let alone interact with you in some way.

Or the concept of death being meaningless, unless it was pre-established by the game itself.

In Borderlands, there's this game mechanic where you can just be revived over and over and pay a percentage of your money as a fee, even though the canon that's established is that you play through the whole story without dying a SINGLE time - because the revival mechanics aren't canon. There's the divide between story and gameplay. That's pretty much the standard. But what about the deaths in battles in R1999? The amount of times I died to 1.3's UTTU's Flash Gathering is insane. How do self-aware characters feel about this, now that they know that they're bound to die over and over and be brought back because you have to do your Pneuma Analysis or reach the final stage of Limbo?

But that's pretty much it for now, I think I got most thoughts out of my system! Thank you for reading!

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #self aware au #'mod six what are you going to do with this AU?'#probably write more reader inserts for FMN and pavia lmfao #i just wanted it out of my brain and onto a post #i like to think about things in-depth but thats it #and just like the hanahaki nsr au. feel free to fuck around with this concept! discuss it or make up your own HCs!#tag me if you wanna bc i love to read. but no need to credit me

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lovesickeros · 3 months

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☆ love; heretical and divine

{☆} characters tsaritsa {☆} notes cult au, yandere, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood {☆} word count 0.8k

To love a God is heretical. It is an act of blasphemy– it is to drag them down from their throne of hollow gold, to topple the pedestal the worshipers uphold on their shoulders like lambs at the herders heel. It is the act of forcing them to their knees and ripping that beating heart of glorious gold and beautiful, cruel divinity from their chest, so pure it burns.

To love a God is to make them sin. To make them painfully, horribly human.

To love a God is to sin.

The love of a worshiper is no love at all, brilliant in its raw purity, untainted by sin. It is fear and obedience masked by adoration so overpowering it corrupts. It makes the lamb so unquestioning in it's faith it will never question the knife that cuts, the teeth that rip, the claws that tear. If the Creator deemed them unworthy of the very life crafted by their hands, then they must have committed a sin so grave there lay no salvation for their horrid soul.

But she is no worshiper– her lips speak of heresy as easily as she breathes, her words nothing but lies, cold and cruel like the ice that crawls along her skin like webs.

She loves a God like a lover should.

A damned sinner reaching longingly for the heavens.

She loves a God in the subtle brush of their lips, their muffled voices behind closed doors as they indulge in curiosity untamed. She is a sinner through and through, but she feels herself fall further with every brush of her hand across their cheeks, every touch she bestows upon them like a lover. She memorizes the imperfections of their body like memorizing a map– every scar, every mark, every line drawn on their body like a canvas, her touch the brush that stains the pristine white.

No devoted lamb shall ever see the painting they create in these stolen moments– it is for the eyes of a heretic so vile it makes them shudder, their body dirtied by the love of a woman so vile even their divinity is obscured by the ice.

The lambs may be satisfied with fleeting glimpses of gold and empty words from lips that guide them to the jaws of the wolves, but she is not. Her hands crave them like a starving hound, aching to touch that imperfect skin hidden by the veil of gold that obscures the painfully human body beneath. She longs to free them from the golden cage that binds them– to see their wings blot out the sky, their divinity tainted by sin and making them all the more beautiful for it.

It is a longing that leaves a festering wound that cannot heal, will not heal. Even if it could, she would not let it.

For as much as she tries, deny it as she may, she is no better then the blind lambs following the herder who holds a blade in their hand, glittering like gold in the sun, stained by dull red.

She is a fool, and what a fool they make of her with the touch of their hands against her skin– so cold it leaves frost on their fingertips. Yet they do not fear the cold, mapping out every inch of her imperfections, carved into her body by her own hands.

She has always been a heretic, cursing the divine until she could speak no more, but if divinity can be found in them – in this love that consumes, that burns her hands and her lips – then she is a Saint, praying at the altar until her throat bled.

But in the end, she has and will always be a cold woman with hands stained with blood. Until it is all she can taste, until it is all she can smell, until it is all she can feel. These hands of hers, heretical and divine, will bleed the God from their veins– she will become the wolf to their lamb until the rivers of Teyvat run gold with their ichor, until the gold bleeds into red, the taste of their divinity on her tongue.

Until she drags a God from their lofty throne and makes of them a monster.

There is no greater triumph to the heretic then to love a God into sin. To make a God sin to love.

To love is to be human, and they are no God.

Even if she must tear the gold from their very being until all that's left is something human. Even if Teyvat crumbles and decays, even if it begins over and over again..

She will do it again and again, until the gold can bleed no longer. Until her sins grow too great for Teyvat to contain.

To love a God is to devour, and be devoured. An endless cycle of sin that dulls the glow of gold into something new– something horrifying and divine, in it's own right. Something just as horrid as her, just as divinely corrupted by the sins she carries on her shoulders like a trophy, as gold as the sun and as cold as ice.

Divinity, carved into something human by love all consuming, until it all bleeds away and they begin their dance anew, for as many cycles as it takes.

An eternity, if she must, of dooming this world of theirs to fire and decay for a glimpse of the being snared by their golden shackles.

#sagau #genshin sagau #self aware genshin #genshin impact sagau #self aware genshin impact #genshin cult au #genshin impact cult au #fic tag #tsaritsa #tsaritsa x reader #rip 2 anyone who expected like. a normal fic lol. lmao.#im very normal abt the tsaritsa and love its so tasty #i left it very up to interpretation what like. actually happens but. yknow.#i just think tsaritsa being the god of love and not knowing how 2 love without being weird abt it is fun #also wanted to dig into the concept of reader being fundamentally changed by being the creator besides gold blood yknow #but the tsaritsa Knows its changed you and she hates it. she hates it but how does one destroy what is divine?#how do you destroy the very thing that has created you in its hands so cruel and kind?#ive really gone off the deep end huh #this is a warning 2 the normal ppl u might as well leave now. lol #lowkey going for her actually straight up eating u but decided that was too weird for my first fic in a while. had 2 tone it down #i also wanted to add a bit of a concept of the constant resets teyvat goes through and how it plays into the themes #the tsaritsa constantly stuck in a cycle of getting rid of your divinity to be with you as you actually are but teyvat “dies” shortly after #bc obvs ur not the creator afterward so it just croaks and then it all resets again and again #but its the tsaritsa we r talking abt do u think that stops her. NO #obvs still up 2 interpretation go wild this was just what i intended #can u tell i have a lot of feelings abt tsaritsa and concepts of love from her pov. haha. I PROMISE IM NORMAL #i am mentally well why do u ask #what warnings do i add here. dont open this fic ive lost it maybe. yeah #covid rewiring my brain or smth idk man

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girlscapitalism · 10 months

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GIRLS CAPITALISM LOVElution (2023)

#lovelution #triples #femaleidol #femaleidolsedit #*mg #*m #eyestrain tw #i love a self aware concept #some of these ended up so microwavey but they are v crucial scenes so i had to include them...</3 #but i may delete those ones later if they start annoying me enough

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rivalmelty · 10 months

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they are fukuzawa’s boys, adopted twins, and menaces to the yokohama police

(pls do not tag as beast)

#oriondrewthis #bungou stray dogs #bungou sd #bsd ranpo #bsd odasaku #i’m glad everyone likes my extremely self indulgent au #i’ve literally been thinking about it for three years and it’s like free therapy istg #as far as i’m aware there aren’t really any fics about this au #but i could be extremely wrong about that idk i haven’t read too many bsd fics if i’m being honest #i have a personal google doc full of hcs and drabbles that i’ve been adding onto for years #but that’s really about it #i know i’m not the only one who’s thought about this concept #i just have never interacted with anyone who shares the sentiments who aren’t my friends who i’ve forced the concept onto #i will defo be drawing more of them in the future especially considering. canon events currently agskdjdkd #but yeah thank you for the love 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽#they are brothers your honor #oh it’s very important but ranpo is older #by five days but it doesn’t matter he’s older and that’s what’s important #yes i am ignoring that technically in canon ranpo would’ve been 22 in dark era #and odasaku is canonically 23 in dark era #this is my self indulgent au and i make the rules #two pillars au

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writethatdown · 2 years

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♡ hi hi hi if u r in the slightest bit of discomfort today this is your sign to take things slow and mould your routines so that you are not extra hard on yourself k? try to include something soothing when you wind down like a warm cup of tea, your favorite book, scrolling down pinterest or listening to the little songs in your phone. ily ♡

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halluciniwaynia · 3 months

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my other thing I like about DECT is that it’s a very friendly introduction to metafiction literature that isn’t just smarmy fourth wall breaking but also isn’t so intensely layered like house of leaves that someone completely unfamiliar with the concept couldn’t get it

#there’s a lot to love about the structure of DECT and how it plays into a shit ton of concepts. like the illusion of self-awareness by #fictional characters along with the four act structure. Which to me feels like an ode to death given four is #associated with death in Japanese/Chinese cultures.#like with all metafiction DECT gives off the illusion it is aware of the cruelty and tragedy of V2’s fate. But at the same time you can also #tell there is an intense sadness communicated by the author’s intention in unraveling this abrupt truth #which I think is…personally one of the greatest strengths of metafiction. you no longer see into the heads of just the characters #but the one who actually gave you illusion they were alive #DECT #dreams end come true #ultrakill #personal post #v2 #mirage ultrakill #mirage

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user-name-h3re · 4 months

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If Nurf ever does ONE horrible thing or ever so slightly CONSIDERS hurting Preston in the new episodes i'm going to projectile vomit and gouge my eyes out the ENTIRE REASON HE WENT TO CAMP WAS TO BE BETTER WHY IS HE THE ONLY ONE THATS HASN'T GOTTEN BETTER WH-

#camp camp #cc nurf #the concept of this character is so good but it's so apparent the crew does not give a shit about him #like come ooooooon #i love the show to death and i get that he's not supposed to be cared about because he's a background character #but he really went from a bully who turned out to be suprisingly sensitive and self aware to a steretypical cartoon bully who says #big words sometimes #like i know he wasn't going to get a big amazingly written emotional character development but even comedy wise it's just lazy #the main reason i loved thks character was because he was hilarious and unique and how he's neither of those #i knoooow i'm going to hate him so much during the up coming episodes and i'm bracing myself for that #venting #uuugh

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abyssruler · 1 year

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Sagau w/ an impostor would be so simple with me because the characters can easily tell the fake apart from the real

Mostly because the fake would probably be graceful n shit

Meanwhile the real one keeps picking up every single sweet flower, wandering around to random places and quietly walking past sleeping hilichurls because it'd be rude to wake them up!

Like the characters would have to put up w/ me cooing at the sleeping, snoring hilichurls 😭 like no way am I waking them up

No but really, I can't even ambush the sleeping once, if I need to kill them I at least wake them up before the fight akdhsksj

the thing is that the characters don’t really know what the (creator?) is like, so even if you and the imposter were entirely different people, it’d be difficult to see who’s real and who’s fake because, well, they don’t know you as a person. in fact, because the fake is so graceful and all, people would be more likely to think that they’re the real one.

though because i’m a sucker for drama, i think there’d be factions throughout teyvat, rallying behind you or the fake. some believe that the fake is real simply because they’re more elegant and ‘god-like’ in appearance, so to speak, all intimidating presence and authoritative voice. others believe you’re the real one because only the true god would be so in tune with nature and compassionate with all living beings, benevolent and empathetic and all the good parts that make you human. tho the humanity you have also serves as a double edged sword because it places you down the pedestal of what they think a god should be.

among the archons, the ones i see rallying behind you are venti and nahida. as for the imposter, it’d be zhongli and ei. (though i imagine zhongli would soon see through the fake simply because of how old and knowledgable he is.)

also, you’re a better person than me anon bc i don’t discriminate between sleeping and awake hilichurls. if i see one, i’m immediately throwing hands.

#i like the concept of sagau but sometimes it gets a bit much #also i wish the fandom chose a different name for this trope because self-aware genshin au (sagau) doesn’t fit in this genre anymore #i mean sure it’s what initially kickstarted the whole creator thing but yknow the actual self-aware genshin aus became few and far between-#because of it #that’s really the only gripe about this trope #scratch that there’s one other thing #it’s the over dramatic villainy of the characters when it comes to imposter aus #i mean sure they’d be devoted to the imposter but i don’t think they’d be so needlessly cruel #it just takes away from their character #but it’s all well and good because we’re all allowed to write what we want #this is just an opinion of mine #if anyone reads this mwah send me more asks about my thoughts on sagau bc i love talking about my opinions #genshin sagau #genshin x reader #asks

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strangenessandcharrn · 1 year

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something so personal about the parallel that is travis saying "quit acting like such a saint" to natalie (someone who is constantly being thought guilty of sin- though they never had sex) and shauna loving the saints because 'they were all so tragic' and then eulogizing jackie as a saint (someone who travis had sex with before her death)

they're so who is the lamb and who is the knife coded

#not to mention shauna wanted to have sex with jackie / travis wanted to have sex with natalie but couldn’t bc of societal implications #jackie is thought to be a priss for not having sex with jeff but it was bc she didn’t love him and wanted to save herself #and natalie is thought to be a sl*t bc she didn’t save herself even though she wanted to do it with someone she loved #and she was always going to be thought of as one bc people will make their own assumptions of you #which is the only reason why jackie even stays with jeff #beyond that they’re the perfect example of self preservation over selfishness #or rather it as a concept because they’re both hiding from themselves in the real world and in the woods #(and I love them both for it)#natalie sacrifices herself daily willingly and jackie wouldn't lift a finger at least when stranded for anyone unless she were forced to #bc I think deep down natalie has put herself in danger both for others but also bc she’s suicidal and jackie is rightfully selfish bc she #doesn’t want to die. but we’re not ready for that conversation #natalie indirectly caused the death of another person and jackie unintentionally committed ‘the ultimate sin’ but only one will be damned #just thinking #also this isn’t me saying that having sex or sex before marriage is a sin I’m only referencing christianity/religious imagery in the show #nor is su*cide or thoughts of su*cide #yellowjackets #they are NEVER beating the laura / audrey allegations (and yes I’m aware they’re very different)#natalie x jackie #jackienat #k

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izzyspussy · 2 months

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i think a lot of people have never been in a truly desperate situation but think they have, and this causes them to pass really harsh judgment on people who made bad choices when either irrational or having no good choices to pick instead, and i really wish people could get some fucking self-perception and work on their compassion skills and not fucking do that as much anymore

#jack facts #people be banging on about empathy this empathy that #and like sure maybe people have a measurable capacity for it but i can tell you what #that sure as fuck don't mean any fucking one of them ever bothers to make use of it when it matters lol #and i mean on the other hand it's hard to conceptualize how you would feel going through something you've never experienced before #i just wish people would be AWARE of the fact they don't know!#or like that there's a difference between ''i can't afford anything but instant ramen'' and ''i can't get any food or water''#or a difference between being freaked out by spiders and having clinical arachnophobia #or a difference between ''my loved one is sick and i'm really worried about them'' and ''my loved one is dying in front of me''#etc etc etc etc etc #anyway the longer i live the more i'm convinced that empathy is a garbage concept #and actually a more reliable way to act with true compassion is through at least some capacity for relative objectivity #the ability to say ''i don't know how that feels and i cannot understand it through comparison'' and to be able AND WILLING #to take people's self reports on their feelings thought processes or lackthereof in good faith and with sympathy #and also the ability to acknowledge that doing a bad thing for good reasons does not negate the bad thing being bad #but also should and does change what consequences are appropriate and/or most effective #and also like............... things people do in desperation or other irrational states do not represent Who They Are As A Person #or what it's like to hang out with them in a day to day situation #another thing i keep getting more and more aware of is like. if y'all can't even handle an irrational or impulsive choice that does harm #done by an otherwise ''good'' person under short term desperate situations #that they then do their best to reduce the harm of after the situation is over #i can not even imagine how absolutely unforgiving you must be of anyone who has delusions #and i mean real delusions and real psychosis not the hyperbolic babytalk version lol #like i don't think most of you even know what the fuck a delusion even is the way you act about things as simple & straightforward as like #fear. hunger. pain.#absolutely fucking exhausting

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luvcraze · 2 months

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How to glow up on the inside

Glowing up on the inside involves nurturing your emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.

1. Practice self-care:

Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. This could include meditation, journaling, taking relaxing baths, or enjoying hobbies that bring you joy.

2. Cultivate self-awareness:

Take time to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Being mindful of your inner experiences allows you to understand yourself better and make positive changes.

3. Set boundaries:

Establish healthy boundaries in your relationships and daily life to protect your emotional well-being. Learn to say no to things that drain your energy and yes to activities that uplift and empower you.

4. Practice gratitude:

Foster a mindset of gratitude by appreciating the blessings and positives in your life. Regularly express thanks for the things you have, big and small, and notice how it shifts your perspective.

5. Surround yourself with positivity:

Surround yourself with supportive and uplifting people who encourage your growth and well-being. Limit exposure to negativity, whether it's in the form of toxic relationships, social media, or news.

6. Learn and grow:

Embrace opportunities for personal development and growth. Whether it's through reading, attending workshops, or seeking therapy, invest in activities that help you evolve and become the best version of yourself.

7. Forgive yourself and others:

Release yourself from the burden of past mistakes and forgive others who may have hurt you. Holding onto resentment only weighs you down, while forgiveness frees you to move forward with grace and compassion.

8. Practice kindness and compassion:

Be kind to yourself and others. Small acts of kindness and compassion can have a ripple effect, spreading positivity and love to those around you.

9. Connect with your passions:

Engage in activities that ignite your passion and bring you fulfillment. Whether it's pursuing a hobby, volunteering, or engaging in creative pursuits, follow your heart and do what lights you up.

10. Prioritize inner growth:

Make inner growth a priority in your life. Set intentions, cultivate self-love, and commit to ongoing self-discovery and self-improvement. Remember that true glow-up comes from within, and it's a journey worth embracing.

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