#i just !!!! always imagined myself single. and would Say Stuff about not wanting anything like that but now im a big clown JDJDJDJJDDJ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stateswscarlet · 5 months

Note

hi this is the 3p person. how do i stop feeling like im doing this to change the 3D? can i acknowledge that it will change the 3D? im just confused. this manifested really fast but ive fulfilled myself with the state of being with him a bunch so why didnt that reflect like this? idk. im just scared im gonna imagine and enjoy it and nothing will reflect. i was thinking of getting coaching with you because idk what to do anymore. i hate my 3D. i just miss sp.

you need to give up on the 3D fully. you need to accept and acknowledge you (all of us) CANNOT change the 3D, we do not have the free will to do that as our free will ends in imagination. you must really sit with this and decide if you'd rather be trying to chase a shadow world and be frustrated, or would you rather 100% enjoy your imagination and feel good and be stressfree? hopefully the latter. we don't do anything to change the 3D as imagination and who were are is CONSTANTLY reflected, even before you knew about this stuff. we cant make it or un-make it reflect as creation is finished hence why we shift states. knowing the 3D changes is very different than chasing it and doing things for the 3D. the 3D will never fulfill you, only YOU choose how things fulfill you or if they even do at all. you need to understand you only want the feeling, not the actual; physical desire.

its like your shadow, do you only walk and move just so your shadow moves? or do you move because you want to? your 3d is the same, you're not constantly thinking of your shadow when you're doing things because the LAW is that its always there anyways. the law shouldn't be a comfort factor for you because it just is.

as i said in the previous ask about your situation. I'm pretty sure you haven't been fulfilling yourself as much as you think you were, and you were fulfilling yourself for stuff that wasn't even your end goal.

youre relying too much on the 3D and seeing this as smth you have to do to get them back and that is exactly where you're going wrong, you need to give up on changing the 3D completely, as edward art says you need to imagine as if there was no outer world bc the outer world has never fulfilled you and never will.

i get missing sp and those feelings are valid, but you need to realize that your life isn't going to end if you're not with them. manifesting an sp shouldn't be something you need, its something you CAN have and definitely shouldn't be approached from a desperate/needy mindset because that will lead to codependent (not saying you are like this but I'm putting it out there in case there are others). please stop revolving your life around an sp and put your crown back on. YOU made sp special, YOU are the secret sauce, they're just some random who YOU decided means something. you need to realize that (manifestation stuff aside) you will 10000% will ok if you don't be with them because you're more than content on your own and can date anyone else. i say this with love but as someone who was in your shoes and knows how it feels, you will only be running in circles if you don't approach this from a healthier mindset. work on your self concept (don't tie it to manifesting ur sp at all) and LIVE your life, do things that you enjoy, have fun/date around with other people (if you have the chance to bc remember that you're not pretending, you are single in the 3D), and stop trying to get back someone. give yourself the feelings of your dream relationship first and how it makes YOU feel, then add sp into the equation. you don't want them back, you want a fulfilling relationship. how would you feel if they came back tomorrow yet the same issues happened as they did back when you were together before/theyre just not good/the relationship sucks? that isn't what you want, you want the fulfilling relationship so focus on aspects about that and give those to yourself. you don't want their physical body back bc it means nothing to you unless you get the feelings you desire.

117 notes · View notes

yesiknowimshort · 1 year

Text

this is how i imagine… TIM DRAKE

the bitch is back…. i mean me not tim, but tim is also a bitch.

thank you so much to my followers (i love each and everyone of you <3) for waiting so patiently for me to get myself together (still shaky, so again, posts might be scattered but i will be posting!!).

i wanna start a series where i do these long form character headcanons for the batboys (and maybe girls one day, i’ve just not thought about it aha) and so i obviously had to start with my favourite character of all tjme; tim drake.

obvisouly i’ve already done a suuuuper long analysis of his actual character which you can read here, but i want to do a more theoretical one that’s not necessarily wholly “canonical” but still in character.

a lot of this is also canon/inspired by canon - however, these are still my headcanons.

- to start off with: fuck the uwu-fication of tim drake. he’s a badass who happens to also appear soft sometimes but that does not equal wimp. you can have anxiety and depression and not be a an uwu baby.

- absolutely obsessed with star wars.

- has forced everyone to individually binge the series with him at least once.

- but also love island (he won’t watch the winter season tho) and the real housewives are definitely his guilty pleasures.

- overworks himself on such little sleep that his body giving up and him fainting is a scarily regular occurrence.

- but it’s not for want of trying. oh no. forgot to eat because he was distracted so his limbs are barley holding him up when he runs? ignores it. keeps going.

- he stands up too quickly, collapses, and gets right up and walks it off like he wasn’t just on the floor (p.e teachers would love him).

- absolutely insane martial artist -which people (like most things he can do/does) completely overlook or just don’t care about. this is also canon btw.

- my boy’s only scraping average height -he’s gotta have something to back him up that’s doesn’t rely on being massive n buff.

- he can easily knock anyone to the ground in a second, yet because of his small build and mmmm relatively unhealthy state, it goes unnoticed and sometimes unused -depending on the situation’s needs.

- people always overlook him because of his public persona (and in real life online it’s usually because of uwu tim), but he would be so cruel sometimes.

- seriously -please remember and use his pettiness!

- like he’d punch jason out cold for picking up his stuff and holding it over his head… put itching powder in dick’s boxers and bed for hiding the cases he was working on… roofy damian’s nightly hot chocolate so he’d miss family movie night because damian was pissing him off… true slytherin.

- but just like a lot of the things he does, it goes unnoticed/un-delt-with most of the time so he gets away with it. middle child tings.

- not to mention he literally stalked batman and would run around solving murders and dropping off the evidence to gordon before even being a robin.

- he was on the CIA’s watch list for crying out loud!

- doesn’t break the unassuming facade often, but if he went off the deep end, he’d be gone, and wouldn’t stop until he’s satisfied -or restrained (but that would be near impossible).

- scarily persuasive -some would say manipulative, i would say ambitious. i mean he did wiggle his way into the position of robin with sheer willpower.

- i think one of the reasons i love tim so much and am so fascinated by him is because of his capacity to be a villain so easily if he wanted.

- the guy has considered murder way too often.

- clint barton’s “i could do it!... no one would know!... but i won’t” quip about quicksilver is literally tim’s relationship with villiany.

- like if he decided one day to turn on everyone… in an instant he has control of a multimillion dollar company, can easily gain control the police, has dirt on every single person, and access to anything he decides he wants: and yet he chooses to do good.

- remember -he chose to be a hero. and he repeats this fact a lot.

- he could easily have the world on their knees, and yet people still decide to fuck with him because of their naivety.

- villain tim would be terrifying.

- his childhood and a openly loving and attentive family setting was stolen from him. he was always made out to be “mature for his age” and “quiet and sensible” when in reality he was just neglected and bored.

- being a gifted child always comes with its downfalls. like being so unstimulated by his schooling and classmates that he acts out a little bit out of boredom and a craving for attention from his parents; not to mention the social rejection because he’s too far past his peer's antics.

- he’d be super socially unaware for his age group as a child (kind of like damian i guess). being an only child surrounded by adults (yet forever alone and isolated) would’ve prevented him from ever connecting with fellow kids and their interests.

- (anyone else relate to not ever finding kiddy humour funny in primary school?)

- so now he likes doing a lot of random “childish” things like skating down the halls in the manor, having a gamer chair as his office chair, playing his nintendo switch in his wayne ent. office with his feet rested on the desk when he’s bored, having bento box lunches filled with sugary cereal and roll-ups, having a mini fridge in his office exclusively filled with yakults, iced coffee cartons and redbull, being fully versed in gen z lingo (which he uses correctly don’t worry) that he uses to talk to people he works with and interacts with at galas etc etc.

- likes to leave little notes in library books for the next person to find; often mildly threatening like “i know what you did”, for no other reason other than to have a little gremlin cackle to himself when he thinks about it.

- definitely has nearsightedness, though he hardly ever wears his glasses “because they’re impractical and contacts are torture devices” (bruce practically has to strap him down to get the camera contacts in for patrol).

- when he’s not drinking coffee, he’s chewing gum or mints to counteract the coffee.

- ambidextrous, but favours his left hand meaning his already inconceivably messy quick notes are also smudged by his hand.

- hands are always cold and numb (leading everyone to believe he probably has rayynaud’s syndrome).

- he gets really nervous and tries to avoid people being able to touch his hands, like when they’re handing something to him, or makes sure handshakes are firm and quick -but still respectful- etc (but he loves hand holding, he just worries no one would want to).

- really good at taking in information and his surroundings quickly.

- often points things out to people that would otherwise go unnoticed like “your eyes look really pretty today” or “your freckles have darkened from the sun” or “they ordered two sugars with their coffee… they always order three” etc.

- he doesn’t constantly say the things he’s thinking, but they come out a lot more when he’s losing his filter from fatigue.

- he’s always apologising offhandedly for pointing out things (more annoyed at himself than anything) bc he thinks they’ll think he’s weird or become uncomfortable.

- tim is allergic to almost all nuts except for almonds (wog runs through my veins, i refuse to believe he can’t eat almonds).

- he’s not like epipen allergic, all he needs is some cetirizine.

- bc of this “relatively low risk” (as he would say), if he accidentally eats a nut he’ll usually just not tell anyone while his throat is closing over and his mouth feels like it’s been attacked by mosquitoes.

- he’ll just silently slip away to buy some cetirizine or get some from his pocket/bag.

- this sweet old lady at a charity bake sale once offered tim to try a free slice of her baklava, which of course, has walnuts in it.

- and he was too anxious to refuse so he took it and finished the whole thing in front of her.

- it took him about 20 minutes and to the point where he was crying and his lips looked like they had fillers that he whispered to bruce he was having a reaction.

- bruce was hysterical.

- like- national news “funny internet clip report” hysterical.

- he always carries cetirizine on him now just in case tim does that again.

#dc comics #incorrect dc comics #incorrect batfam #tim drake #batfam #batfamily #batboys #red robin #dc headcanon #headcanon #tim drake x reader #headcanons

242 notes · View notes

fallingdownhell · 1 year

Note

Hello! Nice to meet you!

May I request a quiet and sweet reader getting furious at and punching someone for dissing Noe and Vanitas?

Nice to meet you too, kind anon <3

Thank you so much for requesting something for Vanitas no carte. I never really got around to write for it until now, even though the anime became so much of a comfort show for me. So thank you for finally giving me the opportunity! I really appreciate it!

Word count: 1,6k

Content ahead: I tried making it with a gender neutral reader in mind; little bit of cursing; a bit of physical violence but nothing too excessive; can be read as either platonic or romantic

As always, hope you have fun reading!

Vanitas

I like to imagine that Vanitas thrives with someone who is more reserved and quiet than him

He talks a lot and he likes to hear himself talk, but more than anything, he enjoys the way your eyes sparkle whenever he tells a story or how you intently listen to anything he says

his heart warms up at the sight and he tries to think of even more storys and tales to tell you, just so you would look at him like that again

your quiet and shy nature aside, he also adores the way you care about others

Vanitas is a man that always portrais himself as independent, someone who does not care for others. Yet he deeply appreciates the way that you are the exact opposite, always looking out for others

sometimes though it's a bit unbareable for him when you start to neglect your own needs or your own comfort. Then, he just has to remind you again that you matter as well and that you are allowed to prioritize yourself from time to time

he really thought that he knew everything about you. A sweet little human that could not even hurt a fly.

Well, but as they always say... you can always learn something new every single day..

Since Vanitas has returned from a rather long and taxing mission, he decided to take things a little bit slower. After not seeing you for a while, he thought it would be refreshing to seek you out and spend some time with you again.

So he did just that, finding you in the comfort of your own home, disturbing your peace and quite to invite you out. He took you to a small café he saw on his way here.

On your way there and while you were sitting at one of the many tables he told you all about the stuff that happened on this little journey of his. Your eyes were fixed on his lips and you soak up every word that leaves his mouth.

"That sounds so amazing!", you sigh once he was finished with his tale. "I wish you would take me with you the next time. I really want to accompany you and see all this stuff for myself."

Before the black haired man beside you could respond, a man that was sitting at the table next to yours started laughing.

"Excuse you? Do you have something to say?" Upon hearing your tone of voice, Vanitas froze up next to you. He had never heard you speak in such a cold and dangerous tone until now. His entire being told him to be careful and if necessary, run away from this situation. All that and it wasn't even directed at him.

Yet that man didn't seem to care for it or he just flat out ignored it, because he just kept going. "Oh come on, you can't seriously fall for all that. Everything that boy said is obviously a farce. A scam! And you are falling for every little bit of it."

He started laughing again, not noticing how you got up from your table and positioned yourself right next to him. Vanitas was about to speak up, but you beat him to it.

Faster than he thought you capable of, you leaned down and grabbed that man by the collar, effectivly shutting him up and making him look at you. As he saw the ice cold expression on your face, fear started to slowly creep up inside him.

"The only farce I see around here, is you, you pathetic old scum. Sitting here alone, laughing about other people because your own life is just too miserable for you to bear. I bet you have no one to come home to because no one can stand that condesending tone and personality of yours.

You better shut up about other people and how they choose to spend their lives when your own is nothing special to begin with either.

Now, I suggest you get out of my sight before I completely loose my temper with you and trust me, you do not want to see me any more angry than I already am."

Once you let go of his collar, the man quickly stood up from his table, stumbling a few times on his way out, while you slid back into your seat like nothing had happened.

All the while, your companion watched the spectacle go down and he was surprised, to say the least. He would have never expected an outburst like this from your ususal sweet and caring person. But that just made it all the more better.

"Wow.. I have to admit, I was not expecting something like that from you. But it was definitely entertaining.", he laughed.

"Ugh, please shut up. That was so embarassing."

"Embarassing?", Vanitas laughed as he saw your pained expression. "You just verbally berated that man like you do this for a living and now, after you're done with him, you feel embarassed? Oh, this is gold!" He laughed even more as your expression turned even more.

"Can we please change the subject now? You had your fun, let me off the hook already!", you whined, not wanting to be the centre of attention anymore.

"Okay, okay, fine. So, have I told you about..."

And so, you continued your afternoon like nothing had happened. But Vanitas for sure was never letting you live this down, ever.

Noé

One sweet person combined with another one? Get ready for cuteness overload!

Literally, both you and Noé are so considerate people, always thinking about the well being and the comfort of the other person first before thinking about themselves

it became sort of a habit that you two took care of each other more than you would for yourselves

Noé always asking you if you drank any water today and reminding you to do so, while you ask him how much he has slept and scolding him for messing up his sleep cycle yet again

outside people who don't know either of you would think that you two are brother and sister with the way you were behaving around the other

it didn't bother either of you though. you didn't need an exact label on your relationship as long as you were both happy and comfortable, that's all that counts

although you have seen how Noé behaves when his more... animalistic side comes out, you don't think any less of him for that. He can't really control it all the time and he already tries his best, that's all you can ask of him

he however, has never seen you act out or anything of the sort. And quite frankly, he didn't believe that you had it in you to do so, either

You were enjoying a late night walk with Noé by your side, as you two so often did. The atmosphere was quite different at night and you got to enjoy much more of the city's charme with less people around, so it became a somewhat regular occurence for the two of you.

Often times Noé just showed up unannounced on your doorstep, asking you if you would care to join him for a walk. You had yet to ever turn him down on that offer.

You weren't exactly scared for your safetly either, knowing that the man you were with was more than capable of protecting both you and himself.

Enjoying the cool nightly breeze, you leisurely walked down the path togheter, talking about nothing specific, yet the conversation never died down. It was just so easy to talk to him, like you had known him your entire life.

It was such a calm and relaxing atmosphere, you knew that it sadly could not last forever. And the peace was indeed disturbed as a obviously drunk man came stumbling out of one of the many alleyways onto the main road.

"Be careful, (name).", Noé said in a hushed manner. And although you both made some space for the man so you could walk past him undisturbed, he stumbled so much that he still somehow managed to bump into the white haired man beside you.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!", he slurred, yelling at Noé who kept his composure.

"I apologize", he responded, trying to keep the situation under controll and getting out of it as soon as possible. Yet that man seemed to have different plans.

"I don't care for your apology. You ran into me! How dare you do that!" The man got even louder than before, now starting to shove Noé away from him.

Before any of the two could do anything farther than that, your fist swiftly landed in the mans face, effectively knocking him out on the side of the walkway.

"Don't you dare touch Noé like that!", you said, but the man was already passed out and probably didn't hear you anymore.

Pleased with your action, you turned around to see Noé looking at you like he has just seen a ghost.

"What?", you looked at him, not getting what got him so spooked all of a sudden.

"You.. just... what?"

"I didn't like the way he was treating you. Besides, he is so drunk anyway. He probably won't remember a thing tomorrow."

With that, you just continued walking like you didn't just knock a man out just like that. Noé didn't say anything about that incident, but he now always made sure to never get on your bad side.

#vanitas no carte #noé archiviste #noé vanitas no carte #noé x reader #noé archiviste x reader #vanitas anime #vanitas x reader

216 notes · View notes

osaevsky · 3 months

Note

hello!! congratulations on 100~ followers, i love your works sm ^o^

so, i wanted to request something for the 100 milestone event thingy. what about tachihara with prompt 11 + maybe heavy angst? i feel like it'd work out well ngl, considering his situation and stuff. and if you arent doing angst, you can choose if it'll be sfw or nsfw, thank you so much!

may i be 🦀 anon?

niko's 100 followers event.

i spoil it all by saying something stupid ⠀⠀⚝ after being blinded, tachihara spends some time at the hospital to recover for his wounds, and you decide to pay him a visit. included: tachihara michizou.⠀; ♡

🥮⠀⠀·⠀⠀⚝⠀⠀⠀; word count: 1.8k + warnings: not really proof read. gender neutral reader, unestablished relationship, somewhat angsty, talks of wounds & tachihara's own ideals / thoughts he has after the event, feelings of lonliness and assimilation of trauma, one mention of slashing, and a somewhat fluffy ending.

🥮⠀⠀·⠀⠀⚝⠀⠀⠀; author's note: hi!! and thank you so much ♡ firstly, of course you may be 🦀 anon, and secondly, you've picked one of my favorite prompts from the event lol. i did my best with this, i couldn't really bring myself to do heavy angst since i'm not really capable of doing so (i'm even more afraid of doing tachihara ooc-) but anyway! hope this is to your liking!

Losing is not in anyone's plans, of course.

The idea of losing was far away from him, and although he noticed it got closer in dangerous situations, he still wanted to imagine that failure would never be part of his result. The idea of losing something, losing someone, losing an ability; It was all so unknown that he relied on the feeling of victory.

The comfort and security that it gives a human being to fully trust the idea of winning and cling to it as he stood in front of the greatest uncertainty, the greatest possible danger that someone could face at some point in life.

Taking that a leap of faith to grant oneself a single vote of confidence that others would not have even given. It was all child's play, just nonsense. A “maybe” so poorly pronounced whenever doubts plagued his mind, wondering if it was worth it. As if ‘’maybe’’ was really the last word he could murmur before smiling, boldly facing the danger of each mission.

Although clearly, no actual game resembles the work one had to undergo as a hunting dog, or as a port mafia member at that: not even the pressure of having to carry out something alone, nor the pain, nor the loneliness, nor the loss.

Tachihara stopped being aware due to the adrenaline, leaving behind all the constant flurry of doubts, of the “what ifs”. He was driven by pride, justice and urgency to do the right thing and put an end to a common evil. In exchange for nothing. Precisely for that: nothing.

In exchange for helping others, perhaps. He liked to think that from time to time, to camouflage his true desire to find himself. Definitely, his greatest goal had always been to find himself.

Being able to overcome his own fears and achieve success with fervor. But now, did he have anything left? He doubted it, and the pain of doubt was greater than the physical pain, even after acknowledging that his wounds were permanent and would not be cured.

He had been in the hospital for days. Tedious days that did not leave him at any ease; not even in moments of absolute solitude, where he sought to get used to that feeling, and above all, assimilate the situation in which he found himself.

Alone, in the hospital, receiving care without being able to actually believe that everything he had fought for now had been left behind a slash to his eyes. Well, he was able to, but he did not want to; it was different.

He couldn't fool himself either: he wasn't alone... so to speak. It was not truly a deception, he had received visitors. His companions had given him the honor when speaking about what happened, saying he at least tried - he took on a particular hatred for the word after that - to fight on his behalf against a greater evil.

Tachihara received words, hugs, candid touches and some labored breaths, as if returning the favor of the visit, as was the case with Gin, one afternoon who decided to appear in his hospital room, subjected her to immense sadness.

Doctors had informed him that he was going to leave sooner than later by that point. One day less before he could set foot on land that was not enclosed between four hospital walls, get rid of the smell of medications, the feel of bandages, and the effect of imprisonment that was nauseating as the count of days of care increased.

Among the few moments of calm that he could find that afternoon, a sound made him move his head forward, unconsciously searching for the door, following the sound. Knock Knock knock.

He did not answer. He was waiting for confirmation, for the voice of any nurse or doctor asking for permission to enter, but none of that came. Knock Knock knock. He let out a simple “go ahead.”

The discomfort that was brought up during small moments of silence was something he was not used to, but now it was broken by the sound of footsteps that changed the aura that was being created in the room.

Almost hesitant steps, and a second sound, as if some hands were shuffling an object covered in plastic or made of such. It was frustrating not being able to know what that thing or person was that had just entered.

“Hello, Tachi.” A murmur full of inconsistency in the tone, which almost made him second guess if it was the same person he had associated that voice with. ''Sorry for being so late, I stopped to buy something before coming.''

The footsteps were heard again when little by little you approached Tachihara's bed, your presence becoming more and more noticed by the other. Tachihara scrunched up the bridge of his nose as the thing between your hands made a new sound, making his ears hurt. He assumed it was a plastic bag, with several objects inside it.

''Don't apologize, it's not necessary.'' His words came out weak, accompanying his state at that time.

Every second felt heavy, a pressure consuming him from inside every time he couldn't find a way to fill those moments of silence between the two of you.

A hand pulled him out of his thoughts. Noticing how you perched it on top of his, providing mere caresses on the back of his with your thumb. It was as if you had already noticed that something was preventing him from speaking, something was weighing him down among those thoughts that occupied his mind.

“You said you bought something, right?” He cocked his head to the side, guided by the feel of your hand. ''Tell me you bought something to eat. I’ve never liked hospital food and I am tired of always eating the same shit meals.''

He was caught off guard hearing your laugh. He didn't remember the last time he had heard it, but he could discern the feeling of yearning it gave him to hear it back once more.

''I have something, yes. It's really nothing but... I guess it will help. I have some fruit to leave you for later… and I hope you don't mind eating a sandwich and drinking soda for now.''

It was Tachihara's moment to laugh, making a small gesture with his free hand. He waited patiently for you to pick up the sandwiches from their containers, as well as listening to the metallic click of the tabs on the cans, before opening his hand and waiting for you to hand him something.

Upon receiving one of the sandwiches, he put it in his mouth without much preamble, the rest of the rustling and movement indicating to him that you were placing the cans on the table closest to his bed.

''Are they treating you well in the hospital?''

It was a question that, in another context, would have been ironic. Perhaps at another time he would have given the doctors a story to tell to their colleagues, but after the incident, there was little left for him to be able to rebel against anyone. He had no reason left.

Tachihara shrugged, a sigh exhaled through his nose.

''Yes, you could say so. I've already told you that the food is absolute shit, but otherwise... it's good.'' He didn't recognize himself, speaking in a tone so solemn that it even caused him to feel weird. “I want to get out of here and not have to think about this again.”

The last sentence denoted a particular rage, punctuating each word as if he were spitting them out instead of talking it with you. He took advantage of the newly established silence to continue eating, opening his hand in a gesture of request once he finished, showing that he wanted the can.

He felt a caress against his fingers as you brought the drink to him, a chuckle coming from you as Tachihara raised his eyebrows curiously. A certain heat filled his cheeks, and a clearing of his throat made it clear that he was readying himself to speak, moving his head to the other side.

“Can I be honest with you?” Before you could answer, Tachihara continued speaking. ''I didn't want you to see me like that. I guess you didn't have anything better to do, right?''

The bitterness was predictable in his tone of voice, even if he hid it behind a lopsided smile. He was upset, anxious. He felt bad about himself and he was aware of his situation, now more than ever having you by his side, having you to see him like this, and taking care of him as if he were capable of nothing.

And he wasn't, at least not for certain things anymore. He had to hide a fright when you placed one of your hands on his thigh.

''Nothing of that. Since what happened I wanted to see how... how you were doing, you know what I mean.'' An inexplicable sound cut off your sentence before being able to continue properly. ''Well, that... It's not what you thought I was here for, I just wanted to see you.''

Tachihara took a deep breath, the hand holding the can shaking for a second before he tightened his grip, bringing it to his mouth so he could spare himself any more stupid comments. What was he supposed to say? “I missed you too”? ''I need your company.''? “Why haven't you come before?”

He couldn't allow it. He couldn't afford to question you about anything. After drinking, he noticed another shake to the plastic bag where you had brought the food, and a smell permeated the room: something sweet, well known for him and his senses.

''Apart from the food, I brought you something else.'' Your voice was now a whisper, returning to the insecurity that had taken over the situation as when you set foot in the room for the first time. ''I bought you flowers.''

Tachihara was no longer going to hide his doubts from him, at least not given the confusion that statement made him. ''For what?''

''There has to be a reason?''

Tachihara unconsciously wanted to cross his fingers, hoping he wasn't the only one who began to notice another wave of heat crossing his body, invading his face for the second time; although the laughter that was heard was enough to give you away, and make it clear to him that he, in fact, was blushing again. And what came next only accentuated his blush.

''I missed you, Tachi.''

He did too. And perhaps the act of missing you was not so unthinkable when he noticed for the first time how his free hand was feeling the surface of the bed towards one of the sides, looking for you, and offering a sigh of relief when he noticed that you received without offering a complaint and providing a slight tug to his fingers, as if you wanted to pull him closer.

It was a silent ‘’thank you’’, an ‘’I love you’’ without the need for more words exchanged.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd x you #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd fanfic #bsd fic #bsd angst #bsd tachihara #bsd tachihara michizou #bungo stray dogs tachihara #tachihara x reader #tachihara bsd #tachihara michizou x reader #tachihara michizou angst

47 notes · View notes

maweallgotohell · 5 months

Note

Heyyy ik you’re working on something rn, but if you still want to do requests I’d request something fluffy with Jerome… like cuddling or being touchy or whatever. I’m a hoe for fluffy soft stuff, personally :)

Hey hun <3

Thank u sm for your request.

And sorry I’m so late with this 🥲

I literally have 27 story drafts for the Cam character stuff and 3 stories I started to write, and somehow I’m working on all of them from time to time but somehow I need so fuckin‘ long to finish 'em.

But requests are something to distract myself from those if I’m having kind of a writers block on them so here we fuckin‘ go, baby!

————————————

Fluffy Jerome would include:

• him being touchy. Literally all the time.

I’m sorry, but I can’t see this guy ever letting go of you, honey, nah ah.

He is always touching you, in whatever way. It doesn’t have to be holding hands all the time, even tho he loves that. How your small and soft hand fits in his large and rough ones so perfectly - It’s just chef’s kiss honestly.

When you two watch TV and sit on the couch together, cuddled up in a warm and cozy blanket, that’s big enough for the two of you, you mostly lean against him. First with just your shoulder and then with your head.

He doesn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt the comfortable silence while watching some nostalgic disney movie,

but he nearly always puts an arm around your shoulder, laying his hand onto the top of your head, pulling you closer in the motion. Then he just softly caresses your hair with his thumb while smiling to himself when you cuddle yourself up into his side even more. It’s just so cute tbh.

He also can’t stop smiling when you two are literally anywhere and you intertwine your pinky fingers. It’s just so fuckin‘ cute to him. Like a lost puppy. And he does that sometimes too. Jerome holding physical contact>>>>

• yeah, as I already mentioned, I’m hardly convinced he loves watching Disney movies

And I believe that his inner child is obsessed with the Disney princesses. Those movies are his favorite.

When you watch those, he always criticizes if the prince, or whoever “saves“ the princess, does something stupid while trying to save her. He then explains to you, how he would save you in such a situation, which would obv be a way sm better than theirs, because u are his princess and his plan to save you would be bulletproof.

Even tho it’s a joke, he makes up those plans kinda seriously, because he wouldn’t ever risk losing you. Ever.

He‘d also appear randomly and sing Disney songs. I’m fuckin serious darling.

You’re in the kitchen, making pancakes?

Not without musical accompaniment, babe.

The kitchen door swings open and your bf storms in, blasting ‚Be our guest‘ from Beauty and the Beast on full volume while dancing gracefully around the kitchen, acting like Lumière and knowing literally every. single. word and phrase.

He should’ve gone to broadway instead of becoming a serial killer.

First, you always break out in laughter, obv. But then you join in. How couldn’t u, really?

Couple goals, if u ask me.

• okay here comes another thing I literally ALWAYS imagine happening when yourein a relationship with him.

Like, you obv think he’s pretty. Super incredibly pretty. And most of the time he isn’t really insecure about anything but he has his moments where he feels like not being enough for you. Which obv isn’t true.

You then always take a moment to really tell him how much he means to you.

You also have these random moments where you just realize over and over again how much you love him. Like, obv you know that, but I think we all know these moments where we look at a person we know and suddenly this wave of admiration washes over us? This can’t be only me guys.

Like imagine you two preparing dinner or something and you take a quick glance at him slicing tomatoes but you’re not able to take your eyes off of him.

Eventually he notices and looks back at you questioningly but amused.

„ Yn, you good? Do I have something on my face?“

You shake your head. Then you take a step forward and put a hand on his cheek, tracing his scars with your thumb.

„ What is it then?“

You follow your thumb with your eyes, admiring every single inch of his face.

„Nothing…“, you say, still not looking him in the eyes.

„You’re just so pretty.“

GIRL WHEN I TELL YOU HIS HEART MELTS?

IT‘S DRIPPING ON THE FLOOR.

He loves these moments just as much as you do. Sometimes he still can’t get his head around the fact that somebody, and then even such a cute, loving and beautiful person like you, really genuinely loves him so much.

Sometimes he even shed a tear but psst-

Don’t tell the rest of the league ;)

Jk he wouldn’t really give a fuck if anyone saw him crying. His masculinity isn’t that fragile and those are tears of joy at that so yeah

Our baby is a slaying queen-

Anyone making fun of him could end up with a bullet right between the eyes so there isn’t really a risk of that as well

But he mostly just doesn’t cry. After the abusive time with his mom, he somehow just stopped crying. He shed so many tears through that time, that there kinda weren’t any left.

And if he cries, he just does it in your presence, because you’re his comfort person and he knows he’s safe with you.

It’s so cute-

————————

Hope u like it. I‘ll edit this later if you don’t mind-

And I’ll probably post more of this kinda stuff bcs tf this is cute so yeah.

If anything you had in mind wasn’t in here, feel free to let me know <3

#spotify #wattpad #fanfiction #jerome valeska #fanfic #gotham #jerome valeska x reader #gotham jerome #jerome x fem reader #jerome oneshot #jerome valeska fanfiction #jerome valeska imagine #jerome gotham #jerome x reader #jerome imagine #cameron monaghan gotham #gotham x reader #gotham fanfiction

54 notes · View notes

redditreceipts · 5 months

Note

I've been a very staunch supporter of trans ppl for years. I have learned to swallow my discomfort around some of the things said in those circles. When they said it was transphobic for lesbians to not like dick, I bit my tongue. I told myself, "this is just the loud minority" and to be fair I do think that is the minority but still ... as a lesbian I wasn't even able to talk about people who argued that because "it never happens. No one says that. That sounds like a transphobic lie." And I hate the constant assertions that gender is real, innate, and that everyone feels it. I can't describe my own experiences with growing up as a woman without someone telling me that maybe I'm nonbinary ... no thanks I tried that for a while. I respect everyone's gender, or I want to, but apparently doing that also requires me to put that oppressive structure onto myself and act like it's liberating.

The final snapping point for me was a trans woman telling me that I'm privileged for being a cis woman because I've never experienced dysphoria ... except I have. I grew up with intense thoughts about my body and hating my vagina and breasts. It was never that bad but I would often imagine mutilating. I'm in a better place now but I still feel some discomfort over my body sometimes. And when I expressed this to her, she asked me if I was really cis or was still questioning ...

They act like misogyny doesn't exist or something. I just ... I disagree with a lot of radical feminists beliefs or at least I think I do. But for years I have felt like radfems were the only ones even talking about misogyny anymore so idk

Anyway what I wanted to say is that I really like your posts and perspectives and thanks for this blog. I want to learn more and question more and your blog has become a helpful resource to help me start thinking critically about some things

Hey :) thanks for writing to me and sorry for the late answer.

And yeah, you are totally right. I have also spent such a long time justifying gender ideology because I really wanted it to be right. I’ve excused so much weird behaviour with weird mental gymnastics because I didn’t want to accept that I had been wrong for such a long time.

The entire “that never happens” thing - and then you show them an occasion where it happened, and they say “well, it doesn’t happen that much”. And yeah, people have suggested me being non-binary as well. I mean, by strict gender definitions I am non-binary because I don’t identify as a woman lmao. Just as the “you’re uncomfortable in your body?? what about fucking cutting it up??!!!!” thing.

And for disagreeing with feminist beliefs, the thing is that being a feminist is not a package deal. You are not being some sort of heretic if you disagree with certain things, and I know that I am most probably wrong on a lot of stuff myself. If I wasn’t, I would be the first person who is always right in human history. And yes, even in feminist spaces, there is sometimes some sort of imperative to follow every single belief or you are not a “real feminist”. But being a feminist is not an identity, it is an action. It is an action towards yourself, in the workplace, in interaction with other women and men, in your consumption, in your voting, in how you support women in your personal life and how you do political action. So yeah, I would say that it is less important whether you follow every rule of the radical feminist catechism and more important to support women in your life (which includes yourself). At least, that’s my opinion.

So if you want to learn more, you can look into literally anything Julie Bindel says on Youtube, I really like her perspective. And cool that you’re here!

51 notes · View notes

cat3ch1sm · 9 months

Text

🧚🏾‍♂️~ hello, everyone! i am so so sorry for not writing anything at all and leaving you all for so long. i am back now, though- i promise!! please enjoy these brief Agni black butler headcanons in the meantime, while i try and get back into writing longer fics. also, announcement- i now write for across the spider-verse! check my masterlist (pinned)?for some more info :)) i love you all and thanks for your support, it means the world even if im not the most deserving of it. enjoy agni lovers <33

⇢ ˗ˏˋ fem!reader, slight nsfw ࿐ྂ

𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐩𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐦! <𝟑𝟑

not gonna lie, you definitely caught him off guard. normally he’s the one pampering other people and helping them to feel loved and welcomed- not the other way around.

a little while after you two got together, agni returned home with some injuries to his arms. he was just going to tend to it himself at some point- he didn’t think you’d offer to help him at all. but agni tells you that he’s fine and can take care of it himself- and is again surprised when you just clean up his wounds and bandage his arms anyway, taking great care to rewrap his sacred right hand. he makes sure to thank you profusely and say that he owes you, but agni tells you to not do it again because he can tend it his own injuries, and besides, he wants to be the one doing things like that for you, not the other way around.

he insists over and over again that you don’t need to do anything for him- you make him food and help him out of his work clothes when he’s tired, come to him with breakfast in the morning (somehow always waking up before him just to do this even though agni wakes up criminally early every day), help him get ready in the morning by doing his hair and running a bath for him, etc.

agni feels guilty often whenever you do stuff for him because he fees like he doesn’t deserve it. there was a time in his life where he was greedy and selfish and he still thinks of that often. he doesn’t want there to be a single moment where he isn’t doing something to help someone else. that’s really one of the main reasons he doesn’t like you pampering him so much.

agni has definitely tried to physically stop you from pampering him all the time. like imagine you’re trying to take off his coat for him after work and hang it up for him, and he literally has your wrists in his hands, pushing you away from him (without trying to harm you of course) while insisting that he can do it himself and you’ve had a long day too so you don’t need to do anything for him. these types of disagreements can honestly go on for ages😭

sometimes the two of you will even find yourselves subconsciously competing for who can make the other feel most loved and cared for. none of you ever win or lose- you’re both too stubborn and persistent.

“would you like me to fix your dinner plate for you, agni?”

“ah, i could not allow you to do that for me, my lady. but please, allow me to assist you with the cleaning of the kitchen.”

“oh, don’t worry, i can take care of it myself. but i can help you clean upstairs if you’d like.”

“while i appreciate your kindness, i am able to handle that myself. and i will add downstairs to that list as well, if you do not mind.”

it’s way more passive aggressive in person but also sickeningly sweet.

the only thing agni will let you do without a fight to pamper him is play with his hair while you’re both in bed about to go to sleep. he finds it therapeutic and relaxing.

even though agni does not want to let you dote on him so much, he makes sure to thank you just like you deserve later. he provides you with twice the amount of love and pleasure that you provided him during the day- although not quite in the same way💚

#agni headcanons #anime #black butler imagines #black butler headcanons #kuroshitsuji headcanons #kuroshitsuji x reader #kuroshitsuji imagines #agni x reader #reader x agni #you x agni #agni x you #agni x female reader #black butler memes #black butler fic

90 notes · View notes

melodygatesauthor · 1 year

Text

The Spetsnaz with a Breeding Kink

Spetz Boys X f!Reader

I just couldn't help myself with this one y'all. I had to do it.

Summary: Headcanons for the Spetz boys and they want to put a baby in you...BAD.

Tags/Warnings: NSFW, breeding kink, reader is not on birth control, Spetz boys do not care and will not be using condoms, p in v creampie, rough sex, cum as lube, pregnancy, reader is smol, lactation kink (minor mention)

Word Count: 1.1k

Russian Terms Used:

Printsessa = Princess

Krasivaya = Beautiful

Shuhrat "Fuze" Kessikbayev

Shuhrat is on the quieter side, so the way he enjoys this kink is a bit more subtle than others.

At first he just likes to think about what it would be like to have you carrying his baby, but he won't talk about it yet, he doesn't want to scare you away

When you start having sex, he isn't pushy, but he won't hesitate to fuck you when you even so much as mention it.

He loves to be able to see your face while he does it. He wants to see your eyes roll back and your lips parted in breathy moans while your cunt gushes over his cock.

Even more, he wants to look at you while he comes.

He's frozen when his cock is buried completely to the hilt, shooting hot ropes into you, pumping you full with every drop until he's completely drained.

He wants to make sure his dick is in as far as it can go so you don't lose a single drop.

"Look at how well you take me," he says while he thrusts up into you some more, pushing his seed further inside.

He won't pull out of you until he's fully soft and has no choice. He revels in the way you look on your back with cum dripping out of your pussy.

"I can't wait to see what you look like with a big pregnant belly." He'd say in a low tone, touching your abdomen with a large hand.

He's not done either, he's going to fuck you every night for several nights until you get a positive test, and then he isn't going to stop telling you how happy he is to know you're carrying his child.

Alexsandr "Tachanka" Senaviev

Alexsandr is a big man, and he's always loved the idea of fucking into your small frame and breeding you with his babies. When the time finally came, he was not shy about it.

His favorite way to take you is bent over, face in the mattress, with his cock buried deep inside your soaked cunt. You cried the first time, but told him to keep going anyway. Secretly he was glad you cried...he kinda liked the way it sounded.

He enjoys looking down and seeing your pussy split over his dick while he pushes in deeper and harder.

When he comes, filling you to the brim with his white heat, he loves the wet sound it makes when he fucks it into you the second he gets hard again, using it instead of lube.

It takes several hours of breeding you until he's satisfied, and you're nearly passed out from exhaustion and overstimulation.

He knows it's not likely to happen, but he's secretly hoping you'll be pregnant with quadruplets. He wants you to be as big and round as possible.

He also cannot wait for you to start lactating. The idea of replacing the crap at the store with your breast milk is what gives Alexsandr life these days.

When you do get pregnant, he's on his knees worshipping the ground you walk on, and he tells you constantly how beautiful you look all big and round with his baby in you.

Timur "Glaz" Glazkov

Timur is anything but a selfish lover, but when the thought of you carrying his child enters his mind, he can't stop thinking about it, and all the things he wants to do to you to make it happen.

It becomes almost an obsession for him, he's painting it, drawing it, it's always running through his thoughts. So when he finally gets to fuck you, you can imagine it's messy.

His mouth is all over you while he stuffs you with his cock. He's kissing you, sucking on your neck, and nipping at each breast until you're whining through each orgasm.

"I'm going to fuck you until you can't walk, printsessa." He would say with his face buried in your neck.

He meant what he said, and he would fuck you relentlessly, taking his usually selfless nature out of the equation. He wants you good and used up, pussy dripping with excess cum.

When he's finished inside of you for the third time, and is frustrated, unable to get himself hard again, he demands that you stay on your back while he draws you like that.

"You look so good, do not move." He'll say. "Keep it inside, don't let anymore fall out."

As he draws you, he gets hard again, but won't fuck you until he's done with his work.

Maxim "Kapkan" Basuda

The usual quiet, calm, and collected Maxim goes completely feral at the thought of breeding you. The moment you mention wanting to have a kid, he's already thinking about all the ways he wants to split you open.

He always wanted to be a dad, and thinking about how good you'll look carrying his child...oh he can hardly stand it.

Like an animal in the wild he's mounting you, face down into the bed. He likes the way you sound whimpering underneath him.

When he's done bending you over every surface in your house, he then likes to take his fingers and shove the cum back into you. Any bit that's dribbled down your thighs is getting stuffed back in there.

"You have such a cute little pussy, krasivaya, so good at taking my cum." He'd tell you while pumping his thick digits in and out of you.

He's also going to have you naked as much as possible, so he can take you any time he's good and ready. You spend most of your time at home either filled with Maxim's cock, or filled with his spend.

When you are pregnant, his hands are on you almost at all times. If he can touch you, then he can protect you. He becomes very overprotective, to a point that drives you a little crazy.

He also can't stop fucking you while you're pregnant though. The feeling of sucking on your swollen tits while your cunt crushes his cock in orgasm has no comparison.

AO3 LINK

Don't know what came over me with this one. Just had to get it out of my system. Let me know if you want me to do the other groups! I don't mind writing m!Reader if one of the groups has a woman in it (GSG9 for instance)

178 notes · View notes

emblazons · 1 year

Text

a post in defense of (a very much alive) S5 Jonathan Byers

under the cut b/c this is more frustrated commentary than strict analysis, and you shouldn't have to read if you don't want to.

I feel like it must have come from the dry spell between seasons, but I have to say it: all of this “Jonathan is gonna die and that means Stancy could happen” stuff lately is not only giving "I just like angst for its own sake," it's lowkey nonsense if you look at it thematically (in context of the Jon/Nancy/Steve madness yes, but especially in context of the Byers family).

—like? Friends.

Given the Duffer’s track record of refusing to fully kill off major characters even when it could have made sense to (cc: Hopper and Max), I don’t think anyone is actually meeting their end, but let’s be SO serious about who is actually likely to get axed: the boy with a mom, brother, step-sister and girlfriend who have been central to every single moment in this show…or the one they've put into a triangle we all thought was over until S4, who they’ve honestly written into a corner, & whose primary drive in four entire seasons was getting a girlfriend and protecting a bunch of teenagers?

I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's just talk Jonathan.

The Duffers (Matt especially) have openly gotten upset at even the notion of Mike dying because "that's depressing" AND "that's Nancy's brother" (showing the familial ties are a HUGE part of what would keep them from ending someone), in addition to them saying they've thought through every imaginable scenario" on who might die—

—and you think its Jonathan whose meeting his end? King of championing "not liking what you don't have to" and the outcasts in all areas from music taste to being queer...after all the Byers have been through and knowing The Duffers write toward championing the outcasts and those who embrace their differences?

That, combined with the fact that the only "evidence" I've ever seen for him potentially dying has been that speech he gave to Will in the SBP somehow being connected to (you guessed it) setting up angst for Will...I'm gonna take a hard and wild educated guess based on the entirety of the rest of the show and say that was literally written so Will could catch a goddamn break, not as a death tag.

The fact that Noah confirmed it wasn't in the Duffer's OG script, was written day of filming + was done because "it was important for people to see will wasn't alone" is evidence enough for that.

Even so, the fact that there are still at least 4 unresolved plots Jonathan is part and privy to makes his death even less likely, because it wouldn't make sense for resolving anything for him to die at all, never mind in the episodes before our supposed timeskip.

Jonathan's messy relationship with Nancy, the fact that he's the only one who actually knows Will is gay, and the fact that he's the only other character who saw & understood the ULTIMATE Chekhov's gun in the form of that painting (on top of also having a longstanding relationship with Mike )should make it clear he isn't going anywhere from a narrative perspective...and I'm not even sure where the idea that he would die popped up, other than fandom warping the canon and projecting onto the plot.

The Duffers have always been clear about not doing things solely for the sake of surprise + not liking things that don't make narrative sense...and Jonathan's death would be both of those things, done solely for shock value.

I just. Be so serious right now. if you want to imagine the weight of Jonathan dying SOLELY for fandom angst DO THAT...but don't pretend like his death in the show wouldn't be the most poorly foreshadowed thing in this entire show, on top of not matching a single theme of the ongoing Stranger Things narrative. ☠️

Put some respect on his name lmao

Bonus: If you really want to talk about character's dying (and not just jump into angst for its own sake): they haven’t given Steve a proper love interest EVER outside of Nancy, made Dustin cry over Eddie instead of staying close to Steve S4, and haven’t ONCE referenced that boy’s family properly more than a few times in passing (and only by Steve himself).

He is the only character who craves normalcy despite this show being about championing the outcast, was supposed to die seasons ago but stayed because Joe Keery was so beloved, and has now been written into a corner where every single person who is central to him (esp Dustin and Robin) either have a new love interest or are worried about something else more than him, which...if you want canonical evidence for a possible death, you're looking in the wrong corner of this love triangle.

#HERE U GO ANON LMAO #my st commentary #jonathan byers #stranger things #he will be alive and well in S5!#single? maybe. but DEFINITELY alive lmao

116 notes · View notes

jaiistg · 10 months

Text

Reader as "im insecure" and Azul ashengrotto as "if you cant love you insecurities then I will."

"When I see your face,theres none of a thing that I would change cause girl your amazing.Just the way you are."

-An very important note,pls read.

Hi! So this is related to what happened to me yesterday.Im already insecure of myself and my guy classmate told me negative things and made me hate myself even more.I know that alot of people are going tru this which is why I made this post.I want to make people feel good and I just wanna say looks don't define who you are.You are beautiful/handsome and perfect just the way you are and whenever someone tells you negative things about yourself thats a lie.They are probably jealous of you which is why they wanna make you feel insecure of youself,plus who are they to say that? They aren't even perfect.Noone is.I hope this post makes you feel better.make sure to drink water and love yourself<33 I love you soo much and Im proud of you.

•Azul is really confused on why your insecure of yourself I mean,your literally perfect to his eyes.

•If only you could see how you look like in his eyes...<33

•Whenever he sees your face he falls all over again for you.

•Since he knows your insecure he tells you everyday how pretty you are, ect so that you can gain self confidence<33

•He will ATTACK people who bodyshames or faceshames you.He dosent understand why people do that,like are they happy that they made someone insecure???? They are proud of doing that shit???

•Trust me,he knows how hard it is being insecure of themselves.He himself experienced it but now its just in the past.A very bad past that is still stuck to his head.

•He dosent want you to feel the way he felt when he was a child which is why he made a promise to himself that HE WILL PROTECT YOU NO MATTER WHAT.

•You tried breaking up with him because you thought that he deserved better,it went likee this.

"Why did you wanna see me?" Azul asked

"Listen,I wanna break up with you."

"W-what why? D-did I do anything wrong? Please tell me,!! We can do better!!"

"No.Its not your fault."

"then why....?"

"You deserve better than me.I don't even know what you saw in me that made you like me.Im sorry if Im an overthinker,im not even pretty enough to be your girlfriend.Which is why im letting you go.You deserve to be with someone much better then me,im really sorry but im doing this for you.Your better off without someone like me."

"No,Y/n,Im not letting you break up with me.I don't ever wanna be with anyone but you,fuck I can't even imagine being with someone else! Your perfect to me.Im grateful to have a girlfriend like you and anyone else would be.I love every single thing about you.Theres no single flaw I see everytime I see you."

•You had a mental breakdown because someone said negative stuff's about you and god,Azul couldn't take it anymore,he had a talked with the guy.

"You have no right to tell Y/n that,are you perfect huh? Ofcourse your not, there's not a single human being that is perfect,so tell me.How do you feel? HOW DO YOU FUCKING FEEL AFTER TELLING HER THAT???? YOU MADE HER INSECURE OF HERSELF AGAIN JUST AS SHE WAS STARTING TO LOVE HERSELF AGAIN! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR HER TO LOVE HERSELF AND WHEN SHE FINALLY LEARNED TO LOVE HERSELF YOUR JUST GONNA FUCKING RUIN IT?! FIX YOURSELF!"

•Everytime you started to feel insecure of yourself Azul is always there to comfort you.He loves you so much :((<33

#Spotify #azul ashengrotto x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #childe x reader #genshin smau #ajax x reader #kazuha x reader #xiao x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #comfort #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst x you #twst x y/n #twst x mc

69 notes · View notes

anomanlyarchives · 2 years

Text

Grindr weirdos

Believe me when I say dating apps can be really dangerous, much more than you may think. I never believed people who told me so, but I learnt this lesson at my own expense.

It all started last Saturday.

I was wandering on Grindr to find some fun. I was home alone and I had nobody to hang out with, so it seemed a good option. I've always been lucky with guys on Grindr, as a single photo of myself convinced them that I was worth a hookup. And I have to admit, I couldn't really blame them.

That day I didn't get any attention from muscular hung guys, though. All I could get was some unwanted message from people I would never even hang out with, let alone hooking up. There was a specific guy, that day, that kept texting me insistently. He was an overweight, thirty-something man, both too fat and too old for my standards.

At first, I tried ignoring him. After all, I was used to this kind of stalkers, and I would normally block them straight away. But, as I was quite bored and I couldn't find anything else to do, I decided to have some fun with him.

"You're a fucking big guy, you know?", I teased.

"Oh yeah? You like it? This belly is waiting for you to feed her 😏". He sent me a bunch of photos of his fat frame squeezed in tight clothes.

I couldn't believe he thought a guy like me could like a being like him.

"I know exactly what I could feed you"

"What? 😜"

I sent him a picture of my body.

He liked me, of course. A lot.

"Well I'm home right now, if you want you can come over 😏"

"For what?"

"To feed me with all that cute, sexy stuff you have there of course"

I giggled. It was my turn.

"What? Oh no, I was just showing off a body you could never have. I should feed you with humility, how can you even imagine I would accept to meet an old chunk like you? You would probably eat me"

"What the fuck man? It's not me the one who needs humility lesson, get over yourself"

"You can't even fit your own clothes, what do you expect? Just buy clothes twice larger, you need them. And stop bothering normal people with your sick kinks. You must be thirty or something, grow up and go work"

"Wtf?? You serious? Okay you may not like me, but it doesn't mean you can treat me like shit. Be more respectful"

"Yeah, sure. You should be grateful I even replied to you. A fat slob like you probably has never seen a dick in his life, these photos are the best thing you will ever get. And I'm being too kind to share them with you"

I sent him all the photos I could find. I wanted to show off my body a little more and make him envious.

My lecture apparently worked. He didn't text me back, and I had spread some awareness about online harrasment. I hate people who think they can do whatever they want, especially if they obviously can't.

I thought it was over like that, as other times. But I was terribly wrong.

The next morning, as I woke up, I had the worst surprise of my life.

Even before I opened my eyes, a strange scent invaded my nostrils. It was some sort of damp, sweet and acrid smell, and it was everywhere in the air.

As I finally open my eyes, I was greeted by an unknown room. A weak sunlight entered through the shutters - even though I had never had shutters. The walls were completely white, opposed to my brightly colored room, and all my posters and frames had disappeared. My led lights had been replaced by a dull, cheap light at the center of the ceiling, which was quite old and could probably fall off at any time soon.

My vision was a bit blurry, so everything felt like a dream. While I was still processing all my surroundings, I heard a somehow loud noise and the room was shaken. It was probably a train passing by.

I was extremely dizzy and confused, to say the least. I felt like I had just been on a roller coaster. But still, I was pretty sure not to be in a dream, and I needed answer.

I groaned and stretched. I felt terribly heavy, and I felt like I was being all squeezed up. It was not a bad feeling, it was almost pleasant. But it was weird. I tossed a little bit, but the feeling didn't go away. I stretched an arm, I moved it to my belly to scratch it, and then... I felt it.

A flaccid, hairy mass of fat was attached to my stomach. It was real, it was breathing. And it was mine, it was part of my body.

I shook in fear, and I quickly looked down. Instead of my tonic, lean body, a pair of bulky moobs and a round belly were bulging out, preventing me to see my own crotch and feet.

That floppy mass was bouncing in response to my own breath. Luckily, I didn't get to see my fat torso completely naked, as a grey t-shirt was trying to cover it - even though it didn't really do well, as it was too small to contain it. Half of my belly was still hanging out of it, covered in a thin layer of hairs.

I was completely astonished. I poked my body to check if it was true. I felt my own finger sinking in the fat. It was... Shocking.

I tried to get up, but my new weight prevented me to do so. My fat made me much heavier, and getting up was a challenge.

When I finally manage to sit, I was completely soaked in sweat. It was the same sweet and acrid smell I had smelled before, and while it wasn't the worst, I really didn't like it. While sitting, I could feel my hefty gut pressed against my thick legs.

I pushed hard to get up on my feet, and almost tripped over myself. Not only was I more than twice my former weight, but I was considerably taller too.

I looked down once again. The bulging gut was still there. I grabbed it tight, as I couldn't believe it was true, and I clumsily wobbled towards a mirror I had just noticed. Every time my large, chunky feet stepped on the ground, I could swear the apartment shook. I felt like a fucking gorilla.

As I arrived in front of the mirror, my heart skipped a bit. A bearded, plump face of a thirty-something year old man was staring back at me. It was the guy I had texted the day before on Grindr, and he was even worse than I remembered. He was wearing a ridiculously tight Grey t-shirt that let a good chunk of flabby gut hanging out, and a pair of equally tight black shorts. Just like me, he was holding his half-naked gut, and just like me, he had a horrified expression depicted on his face.

I got closer to the mirror, still shaking in disbelief, and he did exactly the same.

I shook my round belly, and he mimicked me.

I lifted my Grey t-shirt, and he did it too, revealing a jiggling ball of fat. Disgusted, I immediately pulled the t-shirt down, and so did he.

I curled my arm to strike a pose, and he did it as well, showing off his chubby, but quite thick, biceps.

I did a spin, squeezed my meaty thighs and glutes, and he mimicked me.

My eyes were almost flooding with tears. That was me. I was him. What was going on? It was his fault, there was no other explanation.

I looked around myself, and noticed a phone on the bed. I rushed toward it and fell on the bed with a low tud. For a second, I almost feared the bed would break under my weight.

I unlocked the phone with my fingerprint and quickly opened Grindr. The chat with my former self was still there. And it was online.

"What have you done?", I texted.

I received an answer almost immediately.

"Oh, look who's back! What are you talking about?"

"Stop fucking around. Turn me back to myself, now."

"I don't think you are in a good position to be so aggressive 😜 first take a nice photo for me, then we can discuss"

"I'm not playing. I'm ruining your life."

"Oh yeah? And how? No thing's gonna change until I decide so. Now be nice and send me a photo, I remember I was wearing a very nice outfit yesterday night😁"

I was raging inside, but I couldn't really do much. I looked at myself in the mirror. Because of my anger, I was breathing so deeply that my belly kept jiggling up and down. Disgusting.

I took a photo.

"Woah, are you this fat for real? No wonder you don't get any dick 🤣"

My blood was boiling in rage. How did he dare? "I don't know what you want from me, but I'll give you one more chance. Swap me back and get lost. Now."

"Your clothes don't even fit your fat belly, you should wear your oversized clothes. Or did someone throw them away? 😜"

I rushed towards the wardrobe. It was so difficult to control my movement, as I felt incredibly heavy. I was also considerably taller, which didn't make things better.

I opened the closet. There were only a few clothes, all of which were clearly too small to fit me. The ones I was wearing were probably the largest ones, and still they were so tight it was almost painful. And somehow arousing.

"You are a fucking bastard. You can't do it. If you want to have sex with me, fine, we can, but this is not how things work. You can't always have what you want, and you'll learn it."

"I guess being squeezed by those tight t-shirts makes you soo horny, huh? I can't blame you, I know how it feels. But sadly I know you don't really like me, so it would be unfair to force you in doing something you don't want to 😢 also, I think you are a little too old for me now"

"You're a fucking hypocrite! You're stealing my life without any good reason. Yesterday I just told you what is true, not what you wanted to hear. Even if I hadn't you you're a perverted fatty, you would still be one. I was just honest."

"No, you were completely rude and arrogant. I'm sure spending some time as a "perverted fatty" will help you realize that everyone needs to be respected, even you 😘"

"I'm coming to my place. Let's talk face to face, I guess you're not so brave in person."

"Oh no, don't bother. I'm not there, I knew you would come so I took a nice vacation that will last for... Uhm, I don't know, could be forever. Oh btw I hope you don't mind if I used your money. You know, I had this nice spell that let me access your memories, so I thought it would be nice to now your bank account credentials while I'm you. And don't worry about my bank account, even if you knew my credentials, I don't have rich parents like you, so it wouldn't make any difference. And I also got fired last week, so... Meh 😢 BUT I know there is a very large community of weight gainers and feeders on OnlyFans that could help you earn some money. "

"FUCK YOU! Go die!"

"Ooh, one day I will. I will die in this beautiful body 😍 You, on the other hand, well... I hope your coffin will be big enough 😘"

I felt helpless. "Please, please, swap us back."

"Mhh, I'll see in some days. For now just get used to it. Idk, go eat something, or go shopping for some new clothes... It would be fun to see you walking in the streets with that tight shirt, you know? You could send me a photo 😏 And go take a shower please, I haven't had one since yesterday morning, I can tell you're sweating like a pig from here 🤢"

Before I could even reply, he sent another message.

"I'm switching your phone off for now, bye and good luck xoxo 😘😘"

He couldn't be serious.

I dialed my phone number, but apparently he had really switched my phone off.

I was fucked.

I clumsily stepped in front of the mirror once again. I smelled myself, and he was right, I needed a shower.

Reluctantly, I started taking my clothes off, releasing my chunky frame from all that fabric.

#male tf #male transformation #body swap #Weight gain #male body swap #fit to fat #fat to fit #age progression #age regression #M2m body swap #M2m tf #mine

587 notes · View notes

bi-bard · 1 year

Text

It's Been a Long, Long Time Since I've Seen my Face in Your Eyes - Dick Grayson Imagine [HBO's Titans]

Title: It's Been a Long, Long Time Since I've Seen my Face in Your Eyes

Pairing: Dick Grayson X Sibling!Reader

Word Count: 1,887 words

Warning(s): experience in foster care, feelings of abandonment

Summary: [Inspired by "Brother" by Madds Buckley] An old face finds Dick after searching for a very long time. Once the initial shock wears off, he finds himself ready to do anything in order to make up for all of the lost time.

Author's Note: I don't know why I picked Dick for this imagine. It just felt like a natural choice.

---------------------------

I would love to say that my search for Dick Grayson began with a TV report.

But in all honesty, it started long before that.

I had been looking for him for as long as I could remember.

He had promised to find me after I had been taken away. I guess that I was trying to make it easier on him.

I remember being a little kid in one of my earlier foster homes.

I had been snooping around the guy's office. They had been talking about the papers that they had been given about me. I knew that they were somewhere in the house, so I was looking for them. I thought that one of them may have a record of where my brother was.

They caught me.

They yelled at me for a long time. Stuff about invading their privacy shifted into stuff about them being my family now, so I needed to drop the subject of my brother. I had them now.

They would get rid of me a few weeks later when the wife found out she was pregnant. They couldn't afford both kids and decided which one was more important to them.

That wasn't a completely unique story. I spent a while jumping from place to place.

My search stopped. No one wanted to help me anyways. I was wasting time.

Until this one woman. She was on her own. She had always wanted a kid. There was a combination of bad men and fertility problems that troubled her before she decided on adopting.

She was sweet.

It took me years to finally ask questions about my brother. She stunned me by answering them.

She told me about this billionaire who had adopted him. Not because she had it in some records. She actually only asked because of me. It was apparently a pretty big deal. The guy had lost his parents at a similar age to Dick.

He also had the chance to adopt both of us and keep us together. He just didn't.

Bruce Wayne.

She kept trying to meet with him. He would never accept.

I kept seeing the news. Batman had a new sidekick. Robin. There weren't many images of him, but the ones I saw were recognizable. No one knows someone's signature moves quite like their family. I knew everything that my parents taught Dick.

That was how I spotted him.

It took a long time for me to finally admit that I was too angry to deal with these calls. I had gotten my college degree at that point, I had moved out on my own, and I had yet to get a single call back.

The woman who raised me tried to comfort me. Keep me from losing my mind about the whole thing, but I was angry. Angry and tired. I wanted my brother back.

I found myself on the doorstep of Wayne Manor years later.

I had originally promised the woman that raised me that I wouldn't show up on his doorstep. Not unannounced.

But I did.

It was difficult to accept that I was in my early twenties and still searching for my big brother.

"Hello," the man of the hour greeted.

"Bruce Wayne," I asked. He nodded. "I'm (Y/n)... Grayson. You have my brother."

There was a pause before Bruce insisted that I come inside. I followed him in. We found our way to a living room. He sat on one chair while motioning toward the other one. I hesitantly sat down.

"Where is he?"

"Not here," he explained. My heart dropped. "He left quite suddenly. I didn't get much of an explanation beforehand. I wish that I could be more helpful."

"Oh," I mumbled.

"You can leave your number and I can call if I hear anything."

"You don't have a number for him?"

"Based on his avoidance of my calls, I would assume so."

Or maybe he just doesn't like you, I thought to myself. You did keep his sibling from him for years.

I just nodded.

Bruce handed me some paper and a pen. I scribbled down my number and handed it back.

I left soon after.

I continued searching independently.

And then, the fated news report.

I don't know what happened. Not completely. I just remember watching a story about some kind of natural disaster. In the middle of the reporter discussing some unknown heroes, someone jumped in front of the camera to yell about the Titans being back before he was promptly shoved away.

But I caught it.

The Robin suit.

The one that I now associated with Dick and his new life. However, I knew very well that the man on the news was not Dick. He wouldn't act like that.

It was a matter of days before I got a call.

"Hello," I said.

"(Y/n) Grayson?"

"Yes."

"This is Bruce Wayne," he explained. I froze where I was, placing the pencil I had been writing with on the desk. "I told you that I would call if I received any news on Dick and his whereabouts."

"I remember."

"I know where he is now. I can give you the address."

"What took so long?"

He paused. "It was for your protection. I wouldn't willingly give you his location if I thought that it would get either one of you killed."

"Oh," I muttered. And the other fifteen years or so?

"Are you ready?"

I grabbed my pencil again, quickly finding a fresh piece of paper. "Go."

I scribbled down the address and instructions that he rattled off to me. He made me repeat them back to him to ensure that I understood everything.

The trip to San Francisco was longer than I originally thought it would be.

I had kept sleep to a minimum, focusing on getting to the address that Bruce had given me. I was constantly questioning myself.

What if Dick didn't want to see me?

What if that was why he never found me?

Was it possible that he thought that I would be some kind of burden to him?

I tried to shake those thoughts off but there wasn't much else to do during the trip.

The address was a large tower. It made me pause. This was where Dick was staying?

I checked the paper and the building a few times. Anxious. What else would you expect?

I took a deep breath before walking over and ringing the doorbell.

It took a moment before there was any response on the inside, "Hello?"

"Um, Hi," I greeted. "Sorry, but... I- I'm looking for Dick Grayson. Bruce gave me this address."

Another pause. "What's your name?"

"(Y/n)," I replied. "He... He'll probably know who I am."

There wasn't another response after that.

I was left standing outside for a few minutes before I heard the door click open. I walked inside, making sure to pull the door shut behind me.

I followed all of Bruce's instructions to the letter.

The elevator ride felt like it was an eternity. I had to focus on not letting my breathing get out of control. I was scared. I didn't know what my brother was like after all these years. Or how he felt about what happened. If he was going to believe that I was who I said I was.

It all filled my heart with this strange mix of hope and dread.

Dick was waiting at the elevator when the doors opened. I slowly stepped out as he watched me. I adjusted my duffel bag strap on my shoulder.

"(Y/n)."

It wasn't a question. It was an observation. Like he was confirming it in his mind. Reminding himself that this wasn't a dream or hallucination.

"Hi, Dick," I muttered, feeling tears building in my eyes.

"Oh my God..."

I dropped my duffel bag as Dick stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. My arms wrapped around him, and I tightly grabbed the fabric of his shirt. I closed my eyes and hid my face in his shoulder.

My muffled crying seemed to only make him hug me tighter.

"You promised to find me," I mumbled. "I waited for you."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so... so sorry."

We stayed in the hug for a little while longer.

I kept thinking about the younger version of me. The one that was trying to beg Dick to stay. The one that begged to go see their big brother. The one that started searching for him so long ago.

I let out a heavy breath. It was like I was letting go of some kind of weight. It was nice.

I stepped back, wiping my eyes as I looked at his face again.

He grinned at me.

"Dick..."

He turned around when he heard his name. I stepped to the side, looking at the three people at the end of the hall. I wiped my eyes again, trying to ensure that I wasn't still crying in front of a group of strangers.

"Who's this," the girl asked, her arms crossed over her chest. She seemed nervous.

"This is (Y/n)."

"Oh my God," she mumbled.

I looked back at Dick. Had he talked about me? All these years... had he talked about me?

"I saw you," she said. My confusion must've been more obvious than I knew. "I... I had visions... about what happened to your parents."

I looked at the floor for a moment, fidgeting with my fingers a bit.

"We didn't," one of the guys spoke up, causing us all to look at him. "We're still a bit confused."

"(Y/n) is my younger sibling," Dick explained. "After our parents died, we got separated. I was 12. (Y/n) was 7."

"Bruce only took one of you in?"

We both nodded.

"Um, I'm Gar," the other boy stepped forward and held out a hand for me to shake. I shook it and grinned.

"Jason," the first guy that spoke up nodded at me. I nodded back.

I looked over at the girl.

She blinked a few times like she was still shocked to see me there. "Rachel."

"Nice to meet you, Rachel," I said.

There was a pause in the room.

"I... I'm sorry to be rude, but I am... very tired," I muttered.

Dick reached down and grabbed my duffel bag. "There are a few extra rooms. Come on."

I waved at the other three as I followed him.

I tried to stay close to him as we made it through the halls.

He placed my bag on a bed. I looked around the small room. It was nice. Really nice, actually.

"I'll let you get some rest-"

I stopped him by hugging him again. He hugged me back.

"I'll right down the hall, got it?"

I nodded, still not stepping back for a few more moments.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't find you."

I stepped back and grinned at him. "It's okay."

In all honesty, I didn't blame him. I don't think I ever did. He was a kid just like I was. Not to mention the added pressure that he was facing. In the end, I understood it all. Dick was just like me: doing the best with what we had been given.

I was just grateful to find him now.

---------------------------

Dick Grayson Tag List: @igotanidea

---------------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#dick grayson imagine #dick grayson fanfiction #dick grayson x reader #titans x reader #titans fanfiction #titans imagine #hbo titans x reader #hbo titans fanfiction #hbo titans imagine #imagine #fanfiction #x reader #dc imagine #dc fanfiction #dc x reader

123 notes · View notes

animebw · 3 months

Text

Thinking back on it, I'm realizing there aren't many straightforward idol anime I actually like. Like, Zombieland Saga is lots of fun, but the idol stuff is consistently the weakest part of it and I always feel myself tuning out whenever that's the focus. I guess I liked Heroines Run the Show before it went to shit in the back half? Does Ya Boi Kongming count? Symphogear, technically? Maybe Hanayamata? I dunno, I feel like all those shows have asterisks that keep them from being straightforward idol-y enough to qualify. Meanwhile, by far the most traditional idol show I've watched so far has been Shine Post, and hoooooooo boy did I end up hating that one.

I think the problem is, as I grow increasingly cynical and jaded in my old, withered age of 25 years old, the overwhelming positivity that defines the idol genre starts to feel forced and cloying. It's easy enough for "believe in yourself and try your best" to work as an overall theme if you're sincere enough to pull it off. But the second that theme becomes an obligation or an afterthought, it can very quickly turn a show into the most suffocating, shrink-wrapped piece of sanitized goop imaginable. It becomes a way for a story to avoid being about anything, spouting generic platitudes and cynically designed cuteness with all its edges sanded down and dull. When I look at the weaker idol anime I've watched, I don't see stories that come by their earnestness, well, earnestly. I see coldly calculated, market-tested corporate branding exercises that say nothing, express nothing, and don't dare step a single toe out of line. A plastic smile plastered across an empty styrofoam mannequin, babying its audience with lazy, simplified moralizing because it doesn't think they're capable of anything more complex than Teletubbies, and god forbid we lose a single audience member trying to actually make an artistic statement.

But that's the thing about Juuki Hanada as a writer.

When this man wants to get messy?

He gets fucking messy.

So much of what makes Hanada's writing so powerful, in comedy and drama alike, is how well he's able to let the reins go of his characters and let them crash into each other. Snappy one-liners and comebacks battling for dominance, chaotic personalities setting off fireworks of all kinds through their interactions, but also raw, ugly emotional confrontations that don't sugarcoat anything out of fear his audience isn't mature enough to handle it. Not all of his stuff is a masterpiece- I could spend hours talking about how badly Kyoukai no Kanata's plot falls apart in the second half, Steins;Gate gets more and more exhausting the more I think about it- but even his weakest works carry the unmistakable passion of a writer holding nothing back. And when he's firing on all cylinders? You might just end up with the single greatest coming-of-age tale this medium has ever produced.

And it turns out, that sensibility is exactly what a show like Love Live needs to succeed. Because even the most optimistic, inspirational story imaginable needs that edge to temper itself against. The sheer chaos of its lovable cast bouncing off each other isn't just what makes the comedy work so well, it's what lets these dramatic moments sting the way they need to. Because it's only in recognizing these harsher moments- failure, frustration, despair- that its triumphs are able to be so meaningful. I care about Muse because I've seen what it looks like when they fall short, and I care about Honoka because this show lets me see her at her lowest, at her most human and vulnerable. These characters aren't just plastic simulations of cute girls selling a fantasy; they feel like a real friend group, messy and anarchic and free. Free to express themselves with the full palette of the human experience, even the parts most of us would rather pretend didn't exist. And it makes their successes matter in a way they wouldn't if we didn't have that grounding in the unbearable chaos of being.

Love Live is not a deconstruction, or a subversion, or a dark parody or anything so gauche. It's nothing more of less than a straightforward, inspirational idol show. But it's a straightforward, inspirational idol show that knows it doesn't have to sacrifice its raw humanity to shine with the brightest stars in the sky. And that, folks, makes all the difference in the world.

#anime #tabw #the anime binge watcher #love live! school idol project #love live!#love live #2013 aniwatch

12 notes · View notes

generalchelseamayhem · 11 months

Note

Unpopular Opinion: "Men suffer from toxic (you know what goes here) and Women suffer from sexism" is a fancy way of saying women are allowed to snap from trauma, whereas men should blame themselves and make sure they're never a danger to anyone else.

And boy, does society love that last one. Victim blaming at its finest.

This ask hits kind of a personally relevant note for me, so apologies if this is longer than you expected.

I think there's some kind of logic behind this, like people will say this about a woman on the assumption that she has exhausted every possible avenue of help, and found no help forthcoming, whereas they will say the other thing about a man on the assumption that help has been offered to him and he flatly refused to take it. Men will do anything rather than go to therapy! etc. etc.

And I think what this misses is the ways that everyone, including these same people, can even unknowingly disincentivise men from actually getting help.

I haven't told anyone I know IRL about this, but yesterday, I started therapy. It's costing me money out of my own pocket because Medicare only covers about 65% of the full price of an appointment—and that's if you've already gone to a GP and paid more money to get a referral. I digress. The point is, every single one of my friends I opened up to about my problems was like "Dude. Seek help. Now." It kinda made me feel ashamed for opening up about my problems in the first place, to anyone other than a trained professional. Yes, there was also a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th place, so I can understand how it might have been hard to deal with, but the feeling remained.

Eventually, it reached the point where I could no longer justify my "self-improvement using only myself" regimen against my punishingly restrictive budget. Not only because my ability to cope reached an end, but because my budget finally got a bit more relaxed. So I listened to my friends and booked an appointment with my GP, then with a psychologist she referred me to.

First impressions are everything, and I have to be frank, I don't think I built much of a rapport with this guy. But the main issue was—

If you've ever had mental health issues, what's the one thing that always prevents you from seeking help?

Correct, that your problems are tiny and not worthy of consideration next to the grand scale of human suffering. Why should the psychologist be helping you, when there are actively suicidal people or people in prison or abuse survivors, all with way worse problems than you, whom he could be helping instead?

People around you will insist that all mental health struggles are valid, that there isn't, like, a minimum standard for how desperate you need to feel before you seek help.

I wasn't really sure how to start, so I just told him the story of what happened to me during the pandemic. The way my ex and I drifted apart, the way I sacrificed some of my needs during that time to make sure hers were met, the financial pressure I felt from my parents cajoling me into buying a house, other seemingly close friends (at least 3 of them?) ghosting me without the slightest explanation.

And all he could say at the end, when I'd run out of things to talk about, was "What do you want me to do here?"

I can understand why a question like that might be asked in therapy settings, but hearing it so bluntly like that... it genuinely made me feel like my problems were insignificant on a scale I hadn't imagined. It was said in a way that suggested there was nothing here for us to latch onto, nothing for us to improve upon, just me whining about stuff that happened ages ago. It hurt.

Obviously I didn't have much of an answer to give. If I knew what to do about the things that were making me feel sad, I would have done them myself without paying $60 for a middle-man to tell me to do them. Broadly speaking, I would like the bad feelings to go away and my awkward behaviour in certain situations to stop! Was that not obvious? You're the expert! If you listened to me talk for 40 minutes and you don't think there's a clear and obvious way forward, what does that say about the scope and severity of my problems?

I don't think I'll stick with this guy. My point here is, I think people should be a lot more careful about recommending therapy to men, because they can be so careless about dismissing men's problems out of hand with the other side of their mouth. Whether that takes the form of mocking people for male tears, or chastising them because women aren't your therapists and can't be expected to perform that kind of emotional labour, or any other of a number of subconscious biases that still insist "Your problems aren't actually real."

To be quite honest, I don't even think therapy will be a productive avenue for me. That kind of thing never factors into these conversations though, and I think that's because a lot of "men need therapy" discourse is entirely performative.

#for mental health purposes #men's issues #toxic masculinity #ask

45 notes · View notes

jezmmart · 3 months

Text

Chamomile Comic Trivia #30

#155 - Headphones

I admit, I came up with this joke almost as soon as I decided to have a character who wore a hijab, but I kept it in my back pocket for a good few years because I didn't want her to do anything to suggest she should be defined by the fact so soon.

Layla and Cammie are meeting up at "Café Cake" today, which is a reference literally only for myself.

For some reason, renaming Café Francis to Café Cake using 3D word props in a single stop-motion Kirby movie I made in 3D Movie Maker as a kid was of great amusement to myself and my older brother. It became a tradition that the café must always be renamed that in future projects, and I would be called out on it whenever I didn't bother to in future projects where I began to care a little more about "homebrewed props" being more inconspicious where possible.

#156 - Omelette

A slightly strange one in the grand scheme of the series, as I've never done quite an "out-of-fiction" entirely narrated one like this before or since. It's less obvious if you weren't there at the time, but this was due to the comic going up on Easter Sunday - every year I think "oh I can do an Easter comic this year!" before remembering that Easter moves and there is an opportunity to do an Easter comic EVERY year.

Here's the third panel without the text boxes, so you can see all the lovely things there are to put in an omelette!

#157 - Still

It took a few years but I eventually found myself able to bring myself to walk into a Subway to eat there again after quitting my job at one. Vienna's sentiments here more or less echo mine - I miss being able to make my own perfect sandwich! Just... just lemme go back there, I still remember all the food safety stuff, it's fine!

I can neither confirm nor deny whether I relate to Vienna not paying for her staff meals.

It's fun to see how much my standards for low detail blurry backgrounds increased in scope for this same location in the early comics too. Look at Cammie's table floating in a gradient void there! Simpler times!

#158 - Say

Just a silly cute one (that last panel of Cammie came out just as precious as I imagined it, I'm so glad!) that came from personal musings. It's confirmed here that Vienna has a cat but we've never seen them in the comic! She actually has two and I do have comics planned with them but they're a bit too written with us "meeting them for the first time" in mind, when all the characters have definitely met them at this point since they go to Vienna's on halloween comics and for Daydreams and Dangers sessions. I just need to figure out how to rework them a bit, we'll meet those cats one day.

It's visible in the comic but here's the book Cammie is reading:

[Trivia Archive | Browse from most recent]

#jezmm #chamomile comic trivia #art insight

8 notes · View notes