#i have a lot to say but i can’t Englisch right now

[moonilit]

They are not leaving my brainn

#Voted best three character designs #By me i voted #Listen their color palette is just *chef kiss* #Dear god kaeya give others a chance #He destroyed the competition #The hue the colors #It work off of his darker complexion #Kaeya #hu tao #candace #gensin impact #i have a lot to say but i can’t Englisch right now

[your-denki-kun]

Things Said

Kirishima Eijirou x Sibling!Reader

A/N: This was inspired by a youtube video, but I changed it up. I’ll put the link at the end of this A/N. Anyway, requests are welcome, no smut, but I do write one-shots/fanfics and headcanons. You can also send in questions if you want to, I’m bored. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I have dyslexia and Englisch is not my mother language. The video is an ASMR video btw in an age regression setting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UIhcHeAupU&t=670s

What: Angst, Fluff, Screaming, Being wrongly accused, Crying.

Word count: 2668

~3rd person pov.~

A few days ago Eijirou lashed out on you, saying some nasty things. Of course he apologized, especially when he found out it was a misunderstanding on his part, but you've been acting off ever since.

You're less cheery and the sparkles in your eyes have dulled significantly. It worries him, but he doesn't know what to do to fix it since he isn't entirely sure what caused your odd behavior, he has a hunch, but he isn't sure.

Right now you're up in your room and Eijirou's is on his way to his own room. As he walks past your room he hears you faintly talking, which is confusing cause the conversation sounds one sided.

He walks over to your door and slightly opens it. Peeking around the corner and into your room he sees you sitting in the middle of your room. It seems you're talking to something or someone, but it's hard for him to see because your back is facing the door.

''Do you think I’ve been behaving good enough, Mister Fluff?'' He hears you ask softly and the name you used informs him you're talking to the stuffed animal he got you a few years ago.

He had bought it for your fourth birthday and it's been your favorite since. It's a bright red, fluffy dog that is about a meter from head to butt.

''Nii-san seems happier with me, but I don't know if I've been good enough. I should probably try harder, be better. Maybe I should start saying yes or sure instead of okay.'' Your voice sounds sad as you speak and it breaks the redhead’s heart. ''I think I should do that. Maybe it'll make nii-san like me again.''

Eijirou's eyes tear up at that last statement as his heart shatters inside his chest. unconsciously he walks into the room carefully and over to you, he crouches down and wraps his arms around you from behind, holding your small figure close to him as he buries his face in your hair.

A startled yelp leaves you as soon as you feel his arms around you, but once you notice it's your older brother you relax and let him hug you, staring down at the red dog plush you have in your lap, petting the fabric gently like it's a real dog. You can slightly feel Eijirou shake, but the movement is so small you aren't sure he actually is.

''I never stopped liking you, Little Shark.'' He mumbles causing you to freeze up once again.

''....Don't lie. Mommy says it's bad to lie. Ever since the fight you've been acting different around me, I know you don't like me anymore, you said so yourself.''

~Flashback~

''Little Shark! Did you touch my laptop?!'' Eijirou calls as he walks over to the living room where you're watching TV.

''No nii-san. You said I can't touch it unless you give me permission, so of course I didn't. Why?'' You ask, looking away from the TV and at your angry looking older brother.

''Because it's broken and you and me are the only ones home. Now be honest and tell me, did you break my laptop?''

''No, I didn't nii-san.''

''Liar!''

''I'm not lying! I didn't come into your room, I swear!'' You exclaim shocked as you get up and walk closer to him.

''Stop lying! You know you can't lie!''

''I’m not lying!''

''Than how did it break!''

''I don't know!''

''So you did break it!''

''I didn't!''

''Ugh! You can be so annoying and bothersome!'' He exclaims in annoyance as he stares at the ceiling and runs his hands down his face.

''But I didn't even touch it.'' You whisper with wide eyes.

''Just stop lying! Just admit you broke it!''

''I didn't, I swear to god!''

''Don't swear to shit when you're lying! God I hate you so much sometimes!''

''....What?'' You whisper so softly he barely hears.

''I said I hate you, that you're annoying and bothersome! You're the worst sibling someone could ever have! What did I do to deserve having you as my sibling?! Why can't you just ever tell the truth and do as told?! Why do you always have to cross the fucking lines?!''

''Nii-san yo-''

''SHUT UP!! Go to your room and don't you dare come out ‘till you can tell me the truth!''

''I am! I didn't break it!'' You exclaim as a single tear falls.

''GO TO YOUR FUCKING ROOM!!!''

You shrink back at how loud he yells and scramble up to your room, tears blurring your vision as they stream down your face like waterfalls. Reaching your room you run inside, slam your door shut and sit in the corner as you hug Mister Fluff close and sob into his fabric.

Downstairs Eijirou releases a loud, frustrated sigh before he heads up to his room, stress organizing it to try and calm himself down. As he's cleaning he finds a note with the handwriting of the female who cleans the house, asking him to call her when he finds the note. Frowning Eijirou grabs his phone and dials her number.

''Ah, Eijirou, you found the note. Thank god.'' Yumi's familiar voice sighs in relieve as soon as she picks up.

''Hey, I did find the note. Is something wrong? Did something happen?'' Eijirou asks, confused as to why he has to call her.

''Do you remember my grandchild?''

''You mean Takumi? I remember him, did something happen to him?''

''No, but I took him to work today because his parents were at work and I had to babysit him because no one else could.''

''That's fine, sometimes that happens. I thought mom and dad said you could?''

''I know, but you know how boys can be curious and touch things they aren't supposed to.''

''I do, I myself used to do that a lot.'' Eijirou frowns, not really knowing what Yumi is getting at.

''Well, he went into your room and broke your laptop. He wanted to ask if he could use it and picked it up, but he dropped it when he tripped over his laces. I'm so sorry. I'll of course cover the cost and everything.'' She cries over the phone.

''I'm sure you will.'' Eijirou says as his eyes widen in shock.

''I'm sorry. He's just so clumsy sometimes.''

''It's fine. Things like that happen.''

''I'll pay for everything and I'll make sure he's punished.''

''Hey, it's okay. We can go over what we'll do with costs later, but accidents happen. Just, tell him to be careful with other peoples stuff and that he shouldn't pick up things that aren't his unless he has permission.''

''Of course, I will do that!''

''Now, I have to go. We'll talk later.''

''Is something wrong? Are you mad at him?! I can punish him! You don't have to spare him because he's my grandchild!''

''It's fine, Yumi, I'm not mad at him, I swear. I just have a little situation over here which I need to fix. We'll talk later, okay?''

''Okay.''

''Bye Yumi.''

''Bye Eijirou.''

''Shit!''

Eijirou throws his phone onto his bed and speed walks over to your room, hearing sobs which grow louder the closer he gets. Reaching your room he opens the door and his heart breaks at the sight of you sobbing your eyes out as you shake uncontrollably.

''Little Shark....''

He feels his gut twist and heart break even more at the way you flinch and try making yourself smaller, trying to muffle your uncontrollable sobs. Carefully he walks closer and crouches down in front of your small figure.

''Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Yumi told me what happened, I should have believed you. I’m so sorry Sharky.'' He whispers, reaching out to but halting his movement when you move away from his touch. ''Sharky....''

Eijirou feels his own eyes tear up at the sight of you sobbing and moving away from him, as if you're scared off him. He sits down on the floor, staring at you helplessly as he tries figuring out what to do to make it up to you.

''I didn't mean the things I said, I swear. I..... I should have believed you. You're always good and never really lie about things like this. I was just so mad my laptop broke, seeing I use it a lot for school and really need it. I'm not mad anymore though, not at you at least.'' He rambles as he tries locking eyes with you, but failing.

''Can you please look at me, Little Shark?'' You weakly glance at him and he wobbly smiles at you. ''There those beautiful eyes are. I'm really sorry, I should have never yelled at you or said the things I said. I've just been so stressed. I have a lot of tests soon and I can barely sleep. That's no excuse, I know that.

I just wanted you to know. God I fucked up so bad. I really hurt you, didn't I, Sharky? Oh who am I kidding, of course I did. I'm so sorry, I'll never yell at you like that again, okay? I-I'll buy you something you really want to make it up to you. We can go get ice cream or watch a movie or anything. Just stop crying please.'' He rambles in a pleading tone as he flails his arms around.

''Do you really hate me?'' You sniffle softly after a bit.

''No! No, I love you with my whole heart. I could never hate you, Little Shark. You're the best sibling I could ever wish for and I hate that I just told you all those awful things I didn't even mean.''

You stare at him, searching his eyes as you slightly uncurl yourself. The action causes a smile to appear on Eijirou's face as he moves closer, opening his arms hesitantly, silently asking for a hug. Slowly you move closer and hug him tightly, burying your face in his chest. He's quick to wrap his arms around you and hold you close.

''I'm so sorry, Little Shark. I didn't mean anything I said when I was mad. I love you.''

You don't reply and silently sit in his lap, letting him cradle you as you feel your eyes getting heavy and closing against your will.

~flashback over~

''I didn't mean that, Little Shark. I was just mad because I thought you broke my laptop and were lying to me, saying you didn't.''

''But you said you hate me and that I am the worst sibling ever and that I'm only a bother and annoying.'' You whisper as your eyes tear up, remembering how he had yelled at you with so much hate in his eyes.

''And I'm sorry, I didn't mean those things. I thought we cleared this?'' Eijirou whispers as he lets go of you and goes to sit in front of you, seeing the tears about to spill from your eyes.

''We did, but I know that deep down you meant what you said, that you thinking I broke your laptop was just an excuse to say what you really think.'' You say, looking him in the eyes as the tears fall from your eyes.

''That's not true, Little Shark, not at all. You're the best sibling ever and I love you.'' A gentle smile adorns his face as he reaches out to wipe away your tears as your figure shakes. ''I explained why I said what I said, didn't I?''

''You did.'' You mumble as you look down at your lap.

''And you forgave me, right?''

''I did.''

''So why are you saying you need to be better and that I did mean the things I said? You are perfect the way you are and all the mean things I said weren't true.''

''Because your eyes looked so angry and... And like you meant it and....... It hurt me. It made me think you hate me and don't want me as your sibling and then you keep acting so off, like you just apologized to make me feel better and that you didn't mean it and that....... That you do hate me.'' You softly sniffle as you wipe at your eyes.

''Little Shark........''

''Is it true? Did you only apo-ologize to make me feel bette-er?'' You softly sob as you look at him with broken eyes.

''No! I apologized because I meant it. I..... I just feel so guilty for what I did that I don't really know what to do to make it up to you. The way you acted and looked at me that day made me realize just how much my words affected you and I knew it would leave marks. I want to make it up to you so the marks are as small as possible.'' He explains as he pulls you onto his lap.

''Maybe I should have communicated that, that I want to make it up and that I love you. I.... I just feel so bad, I don't..... God..... I really screwed up, huh?'' He asks as the tears fall from his eyes and his hold tightens.

''I always thought I..... I always believed that I was a good guy, that I would never hurt people like so many hurt me, but... I just hurt you just the way others hurt me. I said the worst things I could ever say to you and..... I just know they'll hunt you for ever, that the words will never leave. That a part of you will always believe those words are the truth.

I regret every single word, but.... Just saying sorry won't fix the damage I made. I.... I said I hated you, my favorite person in the world. I...... I said you were the worst and that you can't do anything right. I don't know why I said that, I wish I never said those things. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from saying any of the things I said.

I am the worst sibling. I hate myself for what I did to you. You're only eight and now I'll be the reason you'll doubt your own self worth. I'll be the reason you will hate yourself in the future. Why can't I do anything right?'' He sobs as he holds you close and shakes violently.

''Nii-san?'' You whisper softly, both in shock and confusion.

''Hmm?''

''You're a good nii-san. You always think of me first, you're super strong and manly and you're always here for me. I'm not mad about the things you said to me, they just hurt. Cause I know nii-san can be really stressed from school, so I try to not be that much of a bother and to make sure you can relax when at home.

When you said those things I..... I thought I failed at that part and I still kinda do, but I guess deep down I know you didn't mean what you said, but the words have been said and they hurt. I know you're sorry however and regret what you said. So I forgive you. I just need to heal in my own way. I love you nii-san.''

''I love you too, Little Shark, so much. And you always do such a good job and making me relax, it just spilled that day.''

''I know.'' You whisper as you cuddle up to him.

The two of you sit there for a while, Eijirou holding you close as you just let him. Loosening his hold he leans back slightly and smiles at you before kissing your forehead, making it linger.

''Can we do something together nii-san?'' You ask as he pulls back.

''Of course, what do you want to do?''

''Uhm.... Can we play together?''

''Sure, what do you want to play?''

''Heroes! And I'll be the strong and manly Red Riot who saves the hostage which is you!''

#bnha #bnha fanfic #bnha fanfiction #kirishima eijirou #eijirou kirishima #kirishima #eijirou #kirishima x reader #eijirou x reader #fluff #angst #kirishima angst #kirishima fluff #older brother kirishima

[unikittythings]

hey, I hope this isn’t overstepping - I saw a post where you were questioning whether you were a lesbian and got kind of piled on for how you worded things, and I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry, lots of lesbians have EXACTLY that experience of wondering whether they’re kind of secretly gay while also feeling like that can’t be true (including using language that isn’t necessarily perfect), and that I hope you can keep questioning things and find an answer that suits you. it took me a really long time to figure out I was a lesbian - I was coming from a very homophobic background - and whether or not that’s the right descriptor for you, there’s absolutely room for you to question and wonder, no matter what assholes on the internet say. hope you’re doing okay.

Thanks for the sweet message. I deleted the post because there were some not so nice comments on it and it made me a bit anxious. I didn't want to undermine the experiences other people are going through and just wanted to vent a bit in my post. Englisch also isn't my first language and I picked it up mostly through the internet. So I'm sorry if some of the wording was offensive.

Yes, I am questioning myself for 2 years now and haven't really found an answer. Maybe some day I will.

Thank you again for caring about me. I'm doing ok. I hope you're also doing okay.

[sweetestrequiems]

New Day, Same Queen

Summary: The queens have been reincarnated into their new bodies. They have a lot of emotions and they are confused by what’s going on. Some of them are more emotional than the others. Welcome to the modern age, Queens of Six.

Part Four of Six: Anna von Kleve (Eng.: Anna of Cleves)

A/N: Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 -Cleves is kinda angsty and that’s my fault, but like... Cleves is always given fluff and I’ve nothing against that. Yeah, this has an okay-ish ending, but this is arguably one of the more emotional parts. Howard’s is the most emotional, in my opinion. 

Tag List: @aveasorae | @watercolored-lemonade | @boombiotch | @patdfobmcr-yt | @everything-insanity | @silverpetals97 

––––––––––

October 22nd, 2019.

Mornings were no longer truly quiet in what was to become the Tudor household in the next few days.

The downstairs level of the residence was quite lively. The first, second, and sixth wives of the late king of England were pretty much having a casual conversation over a cup of tea. It was almost as if nothing had really happened between them in their past lives. A few laughs could be heard here and there, but mostly it was chatter that wasn’t discernible. A groan came from (quite unironically) the red queen. The fourth wife of Henry.

The German, Anna of Cleves.

Sitting up, she ran her hands through her hair and yawned. “Alive again? Maybe this is all just a bad dream.” And so, the woman laid back down and closed her eyes. But this immediately backfired when she shot back up with a realization. “WAIT A SECOND. I DIED ALREADY. THIS CAN’T BE A DREAM.” Fear began to sink in as the covers were pretty much ripped off of the bed and she hurried to the closest mirror. It was no joke, she was alive. With her hands on her cheeks, she just gave one good look at herself.

“I’m alive again? How? This isn’t possible, it has to be witchcraft or something. Maybe this is all a fever dream, right?”

The chatter from the lower floor was telling that this indeed was NOT a fever dream.

“I’m actually alive. This looks like the future, I swear…”

Well, Cleves, you’re not wrong. You’ve found yourself in what’s the future to you, but modern day to the rest of the world. This isn’t old age England anymore. With a sigh, the fourth wife finds herself a bit defeated. “The possibilities of this happening are… next to none. Wait… Amalia!” The thought of her sister came rushing into her head. Amalia had to be alive if she was… right?

The fear began to set in.

Amalia of Cleves surely had to be alive.

Her beloved sister surely had to be alive with her. Why would Amalia not be with Anna?

Opening the door to her room, Cleves almost frantically began to look around the top floor. Aragon and Parr were the names on the other doors. The hope was slowly beginning to drain from her eyes. Could it be so that her sister wasn’t alive after all? It took a sinking moment, but her chest immediately collapsed under its own weight. The tears silently fell from the red queen’s eyes, her hand tightly gripping to the railing of the stairs. A few sniffles were the noise she let out. Angry was a good way to describe her, but saddened was another one. The Cleves sisters, both sought out by the king, and Anna was the one to have gone to England.

“N-Nein, das kann nicht wahr sein! Amalia kann nicht tot sein…”

A bit of a broken voice. While she was happy to have been given a second chance at life, this… this was not what she wanted. “Sie kann es nicht sein, oder? Aber… vielleicht ist sie es. Und vielleicht kann ich nichts dagegen machen.” In a dark way, she was right. There wasn’t much she could do about being the surviving Cleves sister. And while this broke her heart, the fourth wife had to buck up and compose herself. She needed to investigate the noises coming from the bottom floor.

The slight rustling from the stairs got the attention of the other wives.

“Did somebody else wake up?” Anne Boleyn raised an eyebrow, the mug of tea in her hands being set down on the table. Catherine Parr and Catherine of Aragon both exchanged glances, unsure of who was the person coming down the stairs. When they saw the fourth wife, all three of them raised their eyebrows. Anne Boleyn was the one who managed to get anything out. “That’s… that’s the other door on your floor. This must be another one of his wives.”

“Wo bin ich?” She knew English, she however, did not want to actually speak it until she was sure that the three ladies in front of her were to be trusted. Catherine of Aragon’s face immediately dropped upon the realization that this was the other wife that she and Anne had discussed just the day she woke up. The German wife. With a sigh, Aragon shook her head.

“Do any of you speak German, by any chance?” Catherine Parr pulled on the collar of her shirt. It was a safe bet to say they did not speak German.

“Was sind eure Namen? Mine Name is Anna von Kleve.”

“Cleves. Anna of Cleves! That’s the fourth wife of us. So, we’re missing… the third and the fifth, apparently?” Boleyn’s eyes look the woman up and down. “Cleves is your last name, right?” A rather simple “Ja.” was the response.

“Do you speak any English, Anna?”

“Nein, ich spreche kein Englisch.”

“She doesn’t speak English,” there’s a defeated sigh from Catherine Parr. “We have a problem. We can’t talk to her if she doesn’t–”

“Es war nur ein Witz!” The German let out a laugh. “I do speak English, I’m just pulling your leg. I’m Anna. But I did want to know, who are you ladies? You seem to be good friends.” A bit of a smile from the German. Anna knew she had to hide the fact she was grieving over her sister’s death from centuries ago.

“Catalina de Aragón, but I’m called Catherine in English. I was the first wife.”

“Anne Boleyn, and I speak French, not German. I was the second wife.”

“Catherine Parr. I wrote books, psalms, and meditations. I was the sixth wife.”

“We all share one thing in common then. We’re all Henry��s wives. I was the fourth wife. Shipped over from a foreign country to marry the man. A surprisingly interesting experience. Anyways, where exactly are we? I’m a bit lost.” Anne motioned for Anna to join them, and she did. “We’re in modern day London. Everything is… so different. We have a Queen, and she’s seen more as a figurehead and not a political influence. Can you believe it?”

“It’s crazy how things change in such a span of time. But, the best thing of it all… is that we get a second chance at life!”

“It’s truly a miracle. I might be able to write another book.”

Cleves seemed to remain silent. Her mind was quite fixed on the fact she did not have her sister. The sudden positivity in the room became worry as the red queen said not a word, and the blue one was the one to spark up the conversation. “You seem like you have something bothering you, Anna. Almost like you’re not too excited to be alive.”

“I didn’t exactly think I’d be coming back to life without my younger sister,” her gaze looks up. Cleves did look quite defeated in a sense. Boleyn herself nodded, sharing the sentiment but on a different scale. “I only thought about myself, I’ll be honest with you. But I didn’t realize Elizabeth wouldn’t be alive, either. I miss my daughter, really…” The look in her eyes sympathized with Cleves. “But I read really, really great things about her. And… it’s the fond times that matter, Anna.”

Aragon was not as lucky to say her daughter was… as good as her sister. Parr just pulled on her collar and looked away. She was having a moment herself.

“We all have one thing in common aside from Henry, and that’s the fact we all have someone we miss. And life is going to suck without them, but… y’know, I think we can always move along with it so long as we remember those people in our hearts, right? That’s got to count for something,” Boleyn’s expression began to turn into more of a smile. She stood up, and gave glances to the other three women. “I know! How about we all go out today and explore London? See how the place has changed and maybe if we find where our loved ones are buried, we go pay our respects?”

The other three ladies seemed to have perked up at that idea. Even Cleves, despite the fact that she’d have to head to Düsseldorf a day on her lonesome.

“And Anna, where did your sister live? In Germany?”

“Amalia? Yes, she did.”

A smile from Anne Boleyn, and smirks from the Catherines. “We’ll go to Germany one day. And we’ll go visit her resting place. All of us! We’ll go as a group and be there for you. How does that sound?”

The German queen just smiled, feeling at ease with her newfound friends. “Das klingt wunderbar.”

Welcome to the modern age, Anna of Cleves. A woman of rather humbling circumstances and power. Now, that woman is here to show others how to keep trucking through the hard times. Two of you remain to wake up. Will the mother to the throne, Jane Seymour, be the one to arise? That answer is to come soon. But, you all have such an important and greater purpose in this life. You’re one of a kind, no category. Too many years, lost in history. You’re free to take your crowning glory for five more minutes. You’re SIX.

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six ff #anna of cleves #catherine parr #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn

[telltalia]

wuɳɗɛʀรcɦöɳ, PT 1

Wuɳɗɛʀรcɦöɳ, Germany x Reader

Word Count: 3,253 

Written back in 2017 during my crazy Germany phase and when I was just starting my German lessons. Now, I’m starting my 3rd year of the German language. Wow. Time is an illusion. It might be a bit cringey because I had just begun writing at the time, but I was really proud of it and still do kinda like it.

-December 23-

'Shit, shit, shit.’

You were currently wandering, lost, through a city miles and miles away from your hometown- scratch that- your home country! Such a good idea to try to navigate through a foreign country without knowing a speck of the language. Well, other than simple high school education. How did you end up in this situation again? Oh yeah, your sister. Your sister's boyfriend, to be exact.

Your sister decided to move to Germany with her boyfriend Gilbert a few months ago, and she wanted you to come to visit. Of course, you've always wanted to visit a foreign country, but sadly, this meant leaving your safe, warm house and heading out into the cold foreign lands. You still remember that phone call. "Hey, (Y/N)! Gilbert and I think it would be awesome if you could come to visit us over Christmas! We'll even send you money for a plane ticket if you need it!" After a lot of persuading, you finally gave in and promised to come as soon as you could. "Awesome!" Gilbert had answered. "When you get off the plane head to the train station! I'll have my brother pick you up from there." They were strange instructions, but Gil was a strange person. So you packed a duffel bag of the essentials, and here you were, a few weeks later in the German city of Munich. It was quite beautiful, but sadly you were too busy focusing on the cold. You knew it'd be cold, considering its winter, but not this cold! You made a mental note to kick Gilbert once you saw him again. Furrowing deeper into your coat, you looked up to the sign once again with determination. What does it say? It can't be that hard to figure it out. "Damn it..." you muttered softly. If only you could use your phone to translate it. But sadly, you didn't have Wifi, and you were stupid enough to forget to download something beforehand to help you. Now, here you were with only a heavy coat and a stressed mind, standing in the soft winter flurries. All you needed was the train station. But sadly, you didn't recognize any of the words on this sign. Sighing deeply, you stepped back and moved to the side so that other people could read it, not noticing the pair of soft blue eyes that followed you gently. Spotting a small bench, you brushed the snow off of it and sat, discouraged. It was only a few moments until: "Entschuldigung, ist alles in Ordnung?" You jumped a bit and glanced up to make eye contact with a sturdy man, who immediately glanced away shyly. "Es tut mir Leid. Es geht mich wirklich nichts an." He continued talking, and you panicked. ‘Okay, okay, think!’ You ordered yourself. ‘High school German class, come back to me!’ "U-uh. I-Ich... sp-spreche kein... or is it keine? No... shit." The young man glanced back at you with a patient look in his eyes, and under his soft blue gaze, you felt even more shy. "I-Ich spreche kein Deutsch." You finally managed, though it sounded more like a question than a statement. The man ran his hand through his slicked-back blond hair, raised his eyebrows and nodded in understanding. Both of you seemed a little bit awkward. "Oh? Englisch?" You nodded, finally feeling a glimmer of hope on this trip. Maybe he could help you. "Do you know any English? I-uh... I mean... sprechen du... I mean Sie! Sprechen Sie Englisch?" Your cold cheeks practically lit aflame when the man let out a stifled, barely noticeable chuckle at your attempts. "Yes, I know English." You never thought you could fall in love with a voice, but that low German accent speaking in English was the nicest sounding thing you've ever heard. God... you don't even know the man and you're imagining what his voice would sound like whispering words of endearment. It sounded so gentle the way he spoke. "Well..." You began with a sigh. "That's a relief." "I... um," the man stumbled over his words a bit. Maybe it was because he wasn't used to speaking in English, or maybe it was simply because he was shy. Either way, you found it cute, almost endearing. "It may not be my business, but you looked a bit stressed. I suppose it's because you couldn't read the sign back there?" "Yeah." You nodded shyly, feeling silly. "I was, uh, looking for the train station and I couldn't tell what the sign was saying. I'm surprised I got this far." "I could get you to it if you want." Quickly, you shook your head. "I don't want to inconvenience you! I'll find it eventually!" "Nein, nein. I was on my way there anyway. I'm supposed to pick someone up." Suddenly, something hit you. Metaphorically, that is. You knew there was something familiar about his face. As strange as it seemed, you felt as if you had seen this stranger before. And you had. When your sister first met Gilbert, she would send emails and messages every night. Some of these messages included photos of her and Gilbert. Most of the time it was just her showing something stupid Gilbert was doing- drunk or not- and other times, it was both of them, pulling a prank on Gilbert’s poor, unsuspecting brother. You always thought that he was kind of cute but, if this was him, he’s certainly more than you expected. "I, uhh." How could you word this that doesn't make it sound creepy? "You wouldn't happen to know a Gilbert, would you? Beilschmidt?” The man’s face twisted up in confusion. “Yes, I do. He’s my brother.” “Well. Then I think you’re the person I’m looking for.” You stuck out your hand for him to shake. “I’m (Y/N). My sister is dating your brother.” You cringed a bit at the last line. ‘Wow, what a way to introduce yourself. Smooth.’ “Well, that’s convenient, isn’t it?” He shook your hand, eyeing you in curiosity. “Ludwig.” He introduced himself simply, nodding. After introducing himself, he pulled his hand away and ran it over his smooth hair again. This seemed to be a habit of his. Maybe he was nervous- or just shy. He continued analyzing you, with a soft look of bewilderment on his face, making you feel all the more uncomfortable. You took the quick chance to inspect him as well. He stood quite a few- and I mean many- inches taller than you, and behind the thick winter coat, you could tell he had a sturdy and firm build. He must definitely work out. He had light blonde hair slicked back on his head and adorned with a few unmelted snowflakes, and baby blue eyes. Eyes that met yours. After only a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, he looked away quickly, focusing his gaze on the ground with a blush on his face. “You’re different than I thought you would be.” your cheeks lit up in embarrassment. Did that mean he was thinking about you? What did he think you were going to be like? And why did something as little as that matter to you? “What did you think I’d be like?” “Well, your sister is quite…” he paused, looking for the right word. It was obvious he didn’t want to offend you or your sister. “Annoying?” For the first time since you’d met him, Ludwig let a small smile span across his face. “Annoying, ja. Almost as much as my brother. But you on the other hand.” He paused again, “You seem like a nice woman. Smarter than your sister. More modest. And a lot smarter than Gilbert, that Dummkopf. It’s nice to know I won’t have another idiot in my house.” That complement left you flushed, not in embarrassment, but in satisfaction. “O-oh.” you smiled at him. “Thank you.” “Bitte.” Another moment of silence followed his response, and you decided it was time to go. “Do you have a car? We should probably get to Gilbert’s house. Or is it your house?” “He lives in my house. But I have Gilbert’s car right now.” he waved his hand in a 'come along' fashion and turned towards where the car apparently was. He opened the door and motioned for you to get in. "I can put your bags in the trunk if you wish." He suggested hesitantly. It was obvious he didn't talk to girls frequently. "T-thanks." You smiled at him, and he quickly looked away, putting your bags away and then sliding into the driver's side next to you. As he started the car and began the drive, you tried to strike up a conversation. "So... how far is your house?" "Ehhm, nicht weit. Not far. Just outside the city. About 10 minutes." Silence once again. You gazed out the window a bit, taking in some of the passing houses. This was such a pretty town. "This is such a pretty city." You sighed dreamily. "Ja, it's one of my favorite places in Germany." Ludwig responded. "How many other places have you been?" You glanced over at Ludwig and met his gaze. He immediately looked back to the road with a blush. "Well, mein Bruder and I lived in Berlin for most of our lives. We came here for Oktoberfest one year and he liked it so much he wanted to move here." He let out a soft scoff and you couldn't help but imagine Gilbert drunk off his ass and begging to live here. "I prefer the North. Although Munich is sehr schön." You almost melted at the way the German word rolled off his tongue so naturally. He glanced aside at you awkwardly. "S-So... how long are you staying?" "Just three days. Until Christmas evening. I don't have much family at home so when my sister called I decided 'Why not?' Just a few days won't hurt." "You don't have any family at home?" "Well, you know. Everyone is too busy to celebrate Christmas with me. So I'm usually alone on Christmas." A slight look of pity crossed Ludwig's eyes. "How long have you been living alone? You don't look that old." "No, I'm only 20. I've been on my own since I turned 18. I was pretty good financially, so as soon as I was done with high school I moved out." "Well, this year I'm sure Gilbert and (S/N) will make sure to have a big celebration." He glanced at you reassuringly. "It sounds like them." You laughed. Looking out the window a bit, you noticed Ludwig pull into a driveway surrounded by trees. "Are we here already?" "Ja, come on." You hopped out of the car and went to help Ludwig with your bags. "Nein, (Y/N). I've got them. Go tell them we're here." You gave Ludwig a small nod of appreciation and turned towards the house. It was nicely sized, and made of stone. You stepped up the steps to the door and knocked, from inside you could hear several bodies scrambling to the door. Suddenly, the door was thrown open and you were surrounded by different sounds, feelings, and smells. "(Y/N)! (Y/N)! OH MY GOD, YOU'RE HERE." Before you even noticed the dogs, you were stumbling backward into a sturdy chest. Ludwig held you protectively and quickly got the dogs to back down. "Aster, Berlitz, Blackie! Halt! Runter!"  You glanced at Ludwig and he at you for a few moments before the three dogs sat obediently in the doorway, moving aside so that Gilbert and your sister could tackle you with hugs. "Man! I haven't seen you in so long! This is awesome!" Your sister examined you, taking in the slight differences. "How'd you like my lesser awesome little brother?" Gilbert. Separating from Ludwig, you gave Gilbert's shoulder a light punch. And laughed. "He was nice. Stop it." "Ow! (S/N), she's abusing me!" "Come on sis, I'll show you where you can put your stuff." You took your bags out of Ludwig's hands, glancing up at him in thanks once again, before following your sister. As she was walking you through the halls, she nudged you gently. "Sooooo... what do you think?" "About what?" Your sister snickered softly. "About Luddy." A blush lit you face up quickly, and your sister immediately noticed. "Aha! You like him." "N-no! It's not... It's not like that. He's really nice!" "And hot too, right?” Judging by the embarrassed look that spread across your face, she continued “Come on. Even if you don't like him, you've gotta admit..." you stayed silent for a few moments, before deciding it was useless to argue with her. "Okay... yeah, I think he's kind of hot." you smiled softly, instantly regretting it when your sister let a wide grin spread across her face in a “ha-ha, I got you.” kind of way. "Oh man, you do! You're in lo~ove." “What?! But you just said-” your sister cut you off, arriving in an empty room. “Okay, (Y/N). You wanna know the real reason I wanted you to come over here?” “Because you miss me and wanted me to experience traveling to another country?” you asked dryly. “Well, that too. But mostly, I wanted you to meet Luddy. I mean, he’s perfect for you! Plus, both of you are lonely as shit. So I wanted you to get to know each other.” you turned bright red. "You mean the only reason I came here was that you wanted to set me up?" "Okay, I can understand if you're mad. But seriously. Ludwig's just your type. You even said he's really nice." "I think a lot of people are really nice. It doesn't mean I want to date them!" You sighed and set your stuff down on the bed. “Is this my room?” “Well, it's actually mine. But you can sleep in here tonight. I'm gonna be with Gilbert.” she winked at you suggestively and you groaned. “God, please keep me out of your sex life.” “That's gonna be hard to do tonight. It's gonna be a bit loud.” Before you could attack your sister, Gilbert burst into the room. “Yo! We made food!” “You mean I made food!” Lud’s voice boomed from down the hall. "Was? Come on, I helped!" Gilbert then turned to (S/N) and they started intensely making out. You stood quickly and walked out. "Tell mein Bruder we won't be having dinner for a bit." Gilbert said, as he and (S/N) made their way to his room. You groaned and Ludwig came down the hallway in a black tee-shirt and sweatpants, an apron draped over his shoulder. "Aren't they coming?" You have him a look, and he suddenly understood. "Ugh." He shook his head. "Well, you're still a guest, and you must be hungry- " As if on cue and trying to embarrass you, your stomach grumbled softly, and you blushed. "Ja. Really hungry." He turned and you followed him to the kitchen, where he motioned for you to sit before setting a large bowl of food in front of you. "It's just some soup." Ludwig explained softly, now seeming embarrassed himself as he set some food down for the three dogs and then sat across from you at his own bowl. "It's good." You stated simply. You couldn't help but feel awkward around him now. You thought you were making a friend, and then your sister had to tell you she wanted to set you two up. You couldn't see him any differently now. You glanced up at him discreetly. His smooth blonde hair was still slicked back, and his blue eyes were closed as he swallowed down some soup. Your observation from earlier had been correct. He was muscular; he definitely works out. But at the same time, he wasn't bulky. Now wearing short sleeves, you could see his strong arms and through his sweatpants, you could see his muscular legs, and you could just drool at it. He looked... amazing. Soon you were both done eating, and you offered to help him wash the dishes. "No, no, no. You're a guest." "Well, I can't let you do them alone. I don't want to feel like a burden." After a bit of persuasion, you were drying the dishes for him, and you couldn't help but think back to what your sister said earlier. Why would she want to hook you up with him? You'd only be here for a few days, and she knew you weren't the kind of person to have quick flings with people. As much as that was true, if you weren't just visiting... if the circumstances were different... you definitely thought Ludwig was a good person, so... It would be an understatement to say that you blushed at that thought. Your face completely lit up bright red. "Hallo? (Y/N)? Bist du da?" Ludwig's low voice snapped you back into the moment. "W-what?" "You were spacing out." "Sorry." "I was wondering if- um... if you were planning on doing anything the next three days?" "Well, really, I was just going to try to survive with both my sister and Gil in the same house." Ludwig smiled at your honesty, looking away slightly to try- and fail- to hide it. "How about I show you around München? You seemed so interested earlier. I-If you don't have anything else to do, that is..." "You'd really show me around?" Your eyes lit up in delight. "It's kein Problem. I'd be happy to show you around the city. You just seemed so amazed by it earlier." "What are we gonna see?" You could no longer contain your excitement. You were in Germany, for Pete's sake! "I mean, I am in Germany. I may as well do something fun." "I actually don't have any ideas yet. We could visit the Christkindlmarkt and you could get (S/N) a gift." Ludwig rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "That would be great, thank you!" In the joy of the moment and the idea of spending the day in a Christmas market with a potential friend, you wrapped your arms around his firm midsection in happiness, momentarily forgetting who you were talking to. "Thank you so much." You felt Ludwig's entire body stiffen up noticeably, and you heard a dish crash into the sink. When you came to the realisation of what you did, you pulled away quickly. "Oh God, sorry! It didn't break, did it?" "Was?" Ludwig was extremely flustered as he looked back towards the sink and the broken plate. "O-oh. Ja..." "Oh, God... I'm so sorry." "It's fine, (Y/N)." "I've barely been here an hour and I already broke something." "(Y/N). Keine Bange. That plate wasn't important. Ich verspreche." Carefully picking the pieces out of the sink, he gave you reassuring glance. "I'll buy you a plate tomorrow then!" Ludwig simply sighed. "If that'll soothe your conscience. Go ahead." Standing there for a few moments with an embarrassed blush on your face as he cleaned up a mess you had caused, you decided to head to bed. "I- um, I'm going to get to sleep now. Jetlag and all..." "Alright." He replied, not meeting your gaze. "Gute Nacht." Quickly, you left the kitchen and found your way to your sister's room. Thankfully, she and Gilbert were still... ahem, busy, so you had the room to yourself. You changed into your sleep clothes and slipped under the warm covers, letting sweet dreams of Ludwig fill your mind.

Translations

-Hopefully, they’re all at least kinda correct but at the time I had only taken a few basic German classes. -

Entschuldigung, ist alles in Ordnung?- Excuse me, is everything okay?

Es tut mir Leid. Es geht mich wirklich nichts an- I'm sorry.  It's really none of my business.

Ich spreche kein Deutsch- I do not speak German.

Sprechen Sie Englisch?- Do you speak English?

Dummkopf- idiot

Bitte- you're welcome

Nicht  weit- not far

sehr schön- very pretty

Halt, runter- stop, sit

Bist du da?- Are you there?

kein Problem- no problem

Keine Bange- don't worry

Ich verspreche- I promise

Gute Nacht- good night

#germany x reader #reader insert #aph germany #ludwig beilschmidt

[awesomejesakuthings]

40 questions

@sussexualtension-blog taged me to answer the following 40 questions. Have fun reading.

1.     What’s something that you’d drop everything to do?

Helping my dad. He’s always there for me and ever since I was old enough to return the favor, I’m doing exactly that. Other than that – if I’m doing something at home and I notice the sun is hitting our balcony I stop doing what I’m doing and I’m off to the balcony to bath in the sun like a reptile.

 2.     If you could pick anyone, who would you spend a sleepover with?

      Probably our chancellor Merkel just to see if she even wears those colorful pantsuits to bed. Lol

 3.     What’s your favorite mobile game?

I’m a candy crush junkie!

 4.     Do you have a crush right now? What are they like?

I was kind of going in the direction of developing a crush on a co-worker. But my contract with the firm I was working for didn’t get renewed So I probably will never see him again.

 5.     How do you define your own aesthetic?

I’m not sure I really understand that question, since English is not my mother tongue. Is it about what I like to wear? Maybe I’ll answer that when someone explained it to me.

 6.     What style do you wish you could pull off?

Mini skirt and high heels. I just look ridiculous in it with my short, thick legs. But I don’t really care about style and fashion.

 7.     If you could pick any fantasy creature to be your pet, which would you pick?

It isn’t really suitable to call Baby Yoda a pet, so I will go with a Porg from Star Wars.

 8.     What’s your favorite song at the moment?

Hard question. I don’t listen much to current music. I kind of like Blinding Lights – by The Weekend

 9.     What’s your favorite album at the moment?

Don’t have one. Haven’t bought a new album in years. I mostly wait for the singer/band to publish a best off album.

 10.  What place makes you feel nostalgic?

The quarter I grow up in. Always full of fond memories when I return. Even if so much has changed since I was young. Still can’t believe the branch office of the bank where I got my first bank account is now a veterinarians practice.

 11.  Do you like wearing makeup?

I hate it. It makes me feel like my skin can’t breath.

 12.  What’s the most magical place you’ve ever been to?

Yellowstone NP – a beautiful force of nature. And of course, Disney World when I was a kid lol

 13.  Would you rather have wings or a mermaid tail?

Can I have both?

 14.  What’s your favourite kind of pasta?

Finally, an easy question. Fettucine Alfredo! If the sauce is made right you can fill a bathtub full of it for me.

 15.  Do you identify with your star sign?  

Not really. I would have to combine a few character traits from all signs to make it fit to me.

 16.  Do you like rollercoasters? Do you have a favorite one that you’ve been on?

I loved them when I was younger. I enjoyed all roller coasters on the strip in Las Vegas.

 17.  What’s your favorite emoji?

All kinds of smileys and the x-mas tree. When I see it, I know my favorite time of the year is there.

 18.  Do you take a lot of selfies?

No. I tried a few times, but I just can’t get it right. I always look stupid in them.

 19.  What’s your favorite part about yourself?

I like my arms and my eyes, even if I can’t name the exact color.

 20.  How many people have you kissed?

To say it with Steve McGarrett’s words – It’s classified.

 21.  Do you prefer movies or shows?

I watch a lot of shows but only a few movies a year can get my attention.

 22.  What’s your favorite thing to doodle?

I’m bad at arts. I like to draw the Minions though.

 23.  Have you said “I love you” to anyone in the past 24 hours?

Yes

 24.  What’s your favorite book genre?

All things crime. Love Tess Gerritsen.

 25.  What’s something you find overrated?

Most Oscar winning movies.

 26.  What’s your favorite meme right now?

Had to google what a meme is. Does that answer the question?

 27.  Do you have a favorite comedian?

I have a few. But they are only known in my country.

 28.  Do you play video games? What’s your favorite?

No, I’m not into video games.

 29.  Do people consider you funny?

The people I’m close with – yes.

 30.  What features are you attracted to?

Definitely not the typical attributes. I’m a face person. There has to be something remarkable in their face.

 31.  Do you prefer more muted colors or bright pastels?

Pastels are great for wall color. In clothes I match dark and bright colors.

 32.  Fairy lights or neon signs?

Fairy lights! I love how a bunch of Americans decorate their houses for x-mas.

33.  Do you think your appearance matches your mind?

No.

 34.  What skill are you most proud of for having?

I’m a quick learner and I have a broad general education.

 35.  Do you have a sweet tooth?

Yes. Sadly, I also like salty snacks. Bad combination. 😉

 36.  Who inspires you?

Musicians of all kind.

 37.  Are you more left brained or right brained?

I would say I appear more left-brained but wish I was more right-brained.

 38.  What’s your favorite word?

In German it is “Fischstäbchen”. I don’t have one in English. But the Englisch word I hate the most is probably “immediately” I always have to check ho to spell it - argh!

 39.  What’s your favorite card game?

UNO. When I was about 8/9 I went on a camping trip to Canada with my parents. On the camp side next to us were a bunch of kids the same age as I. In that summer I learned Uno and the first English words.

 40.  Do you believe in fate?

Our fate is in our hands.

#about me

[bergens-adventure-tours]

First Impressions

Europe is simply beautiful.  The colours of the quaint little streets that are filled with so much history in every detail; A uniqueness that can never be replicated.

My first impression of Hildesheim has definitely been filled with pure excitement and awe by the new surroundings; and while this still continues today as I wander the streets to get groceries, to visit Doug in the older part of the city, to going to the shops on the other side of town (which is only 2.5km away), I’ve been able to observe and progressively understand this new way of living.  

The town The town itself is seriously amazing.  As I’ve mentioned in my first post and on social media, I’m living in a small city called Hildesheim, located in Lower Saxony (Northern Germany).  My apartment is in one of the newer parts of town, but it still has that quaint and colourful vibe.  My place is only a 5-10minute walk from school, which has been an amazing change from the 50+min. drive I have to take to BCIT every day.  Everything here is so close! You’re at most a 25-30min walk from wherever you need to be.  So I think it’s fair to say that these past 3 weeks have already collectively made up for the lack of movement during my 3 years at BCIT…

There’s so many cute cafés and restaurants and shops which have been really fun to check out.  Definitely already found some favourites, which I’ll talk about in future posts!

One of my favourite walks has been to Doug’s house. The street he lives on is one of the two streets that survived the bombs during World War II, so he is currently living in a house that was built in 1511.  There’s cobbled stone streets everywhere (some which are more fun than others for biking down…), slanted houses, old brick and woodwork, so many unique doors, and beautiful garden spaces all around the buildings.  There’s lakes and forest paths all around the outskirts.  Everywhere I go feels like a new discovery, even when it’s the same street I walk down every day.

The people Honestly, my first impression of the people has been nothing but positive.  Everyone has been so kind, welcoming, and super helpful; and although English isn’t as common as I was told, they still try as much as possible to accommodate, no matter what their level of English is. They’re also very modest, in the way that every time I’ve asked “Sprechen sie Englische?” (do you speak English), about 80% have said a little bit, 15% have confidently said yes, while the other 5% don’t speak it at all – But as soon as that 80% begin to speak, they quite often have more than decent English, and are able to help with almost no problems of communication between the two of us!

Transportation It’s a whole new way of getting around for me which I’ve come to really enjoy.  You never feel like you’re in a rush to get anywhere (except when you’re running late for a train…).  Everyone walks or bikes around town for everything, and what would seem like forever of a walk for back home, seems silly to want to drive to here (even if it’s the EXACT same distance).  It’s made me think a lot about how I live daily back home and how much I’ve convinced myself I need to rely on a vehicle for simple things… I may be bringing home some new habits…

Walking and biking are definitely the most common.  I’ve yet to take the bus around town, because honestly, often it’s faster to just walk.

The train system between cities is also really great! (but make sure you translate the messages on the boards RIGHT AWAY… or else you’ll probably miss your train… because their station was switched…something I’ll definitely tell you all about another time, along with information I’ve gathered about the train systems here!).

Shopping Okay, specifically grocery shopping has been a huge switch for me.  There’s no such thing as buying in bulk, owning a freezer that ISN’T a tiny box in your fridge is unheard of, a separate floor to ceiling closet we like to call a pantry to store food? Nope. Not a thing either. Space is much more limited in most European homes, meaning groceries you purchase are only meant for that week (maybe even only that day…). So when you show up to the grocery store purchasing more than one loaf of bread because you’re going to keep some in the freezer for later on top of all your fruits and veggies, you can guarantee you’re going to be holding up the line. Oh yeah, and the cashiers are LIGHTNING fast when they scan through your items! You bag your own things, so keeping up is near impossible, and by the time you’ve bagged half your things and paid, the things the person behind you is purchasing is now mixed in with yours… it’s like a game you have to master.

Which is another thing, EVERYONE carries their own bags for groceries, which I think is absolutely wonderful! Definitely inconvenient at times when you’re already out but didn’t pack an extra bag with you. But I love it because it trains you to always be mindful of your bag usage while eliminating the need for plastic grocery bags.  It’s something we try to encourage back home, but here it feels more enforced.

The prices are also deceiving…being in euros, you think you’re spending only $20 on groceries but you’re actually spending $31.  I still haven’t quite figured out if the prices are cheaper, comparable, or more expensive as a whole, but I think for the most part things are relatively comparable in price – you’re definitely not finding big bags of anything to last you a month though...

Shopping as a vegan though…I’ve been in dreamland.  I know back home there’s many vegan options of things in the grocery store, but when moving to a smaller town in a different country, I definitely wasn’t sure what to expect… and when I went shopping the first time, it was definitely overwhelming and I felt like I was going to have to survive off just quinoa and sautéed veggies. But let me tell you!! I’ve found so many great vegan alternatives and really tasty snacks (later on I’ll do a post about “travelling as a vegan,” but on the topic of shopping and first impressions, I felt this was important to include), but I can happily say that I’m not living off a stereotypical University student diet of instant noodles, bread, cereal, pizza and peanut butter (except for the bread… bread consumption may have increased…).

A few other surprises:

The weather? If you thought Vancouver weather was strange: visit Hildesheim… within a single day we experienced (in this order): blue skies, down pouring rain with wind storms, sunny with fluffy clouds, intense winds with sun, intense winds with rain, black clouds, white clouds, spitting rain, sun, down pouring rain, cloudy, AND THEN SNOW!  It’s changing constantly, and you’re a fool to not prepare for all for seasons when walking out the door. (Climate change is real guys).

Paying for water! Okay, I was already pre-warned about this one, but it still blows my mind. I’m going to leave it with this meme my boyfriend found which perfectly sums it all up. 

Pedestrians do NOT have right of way. Don’t worry, I didn’t learn this the hard way – but it’s definitely something I’ve noticed when it comes to crossing streets, cars will NOT stop for you at a cross walk, so crossing smaller streets that are filled with cars parked half way on the side walk, you need to always be extra careful when looking around the corners.

 Sundays are for hiding at home. When our friends said everything is closed on Sundays, they mean EVERYTHING is closed on Sundays. So when you’re out of food on a Sunday because you forgot to shop on Saturday, you MIGHT be lucky to find a coffee shop on the other side of town who closes on Mondays instead.

It’s been only 3 weeks since I arrived in Germany, but I already have this feeling of being at home.  It’s a strange feeling to explain, and I don’t quite know whether it’s the town, being here with my boyfriend, or having been excited about moving out for the first time – but everything just feels strangely (and wonderfully) familiar and comfortable. I don’t have a single bad thing to say about it, and every day just makes me more and more excited to be here. I can’t wait to share my adventures with you all.

Until next time…

Stay passionate and curious, Hunter♡

03/20/2019

#people #places #experiences #food

[mercury-imagines]

Hey! :) How would RFA (V+Saeran) react if MC says something really hurtful, because she is stressed out? How would she make it up to them? Sorry for my bad englisch haha :D

Your English is fine :)  Also I finally learned how to use keep reading tabs! Here goes:

Zen:

MC would be stressing, and in trying to cheer her up, Zen would end up being narcissistic 

Saying things like “MC, you have no reason to be stressed out with a handsome guy like me around ;)”

After one too many comments like this, MC would be pushed over the edge

“No wonder your parents hated you.”

It was barely audible, muttered through clenched teeth

But Zen heard it as clear as day

His face just falls, and his hands fall to his sides.

He doesn’t cry often, but his eyes start to water

He walks away silently

Mc just puts her head in her hands, thinking “I can’t deal with this right now”

Once MC calms done and realizes the impact of her words, she goes to apologize, only to find Zen gone

MC checks everywhere in the house, and discovers Zen’s bike is gone as well.

She calls him, but he left his phone at home

Eventually MC falls asleep on the couch out of pure exhaustion 

When she wakes up, she checks the bedroom and finds Zen wrapped in blankets, asleep.

She makes one of the cheesy jars filled with “100 reasons I love you”

She makes his favorite breakfast and gently wakes him up

She presents the gift and the breakfast to him, along with an apology

When MC starts crying, Zen can’t take it anymore

He instantly forgives her

But is still woken up to breakfast in bed and small gifts for at least a week

Yoosung:

He’s already a pretty sensitive guy

So when MC says something about him never trying or making an effort at anything, about him being a failure and that she has to do everything

It really gets to him

He turns into a mess

He starts to cry almost immediately

He runs to his room and throws himself on his bed

He’s not even mad at you, he’s just distraught because he thinks your words hold some truth

Cries himself to sleep, cocooned in blankets

He avoids you, not wanting to be a burden

He stops playing LOLOL

He tries to start studying, but his mind keeps wandering back to your words

When you come to his room with his favorite meal and a handwritten card, he starts to get all choked up

Tells you he’s sorry and that he’s trying to be better

You tell hm he has nothing to be sorry about, you were just stressed out and those hurtful words slipped out

You tell him how wonderful he is, and that your words had no truth to them

He starts to cry in relief and hugs you tightly 

All is forgiven and a cuddling session begins~

Jaehee:

Both of you were stressed about the cafe not doing so well lately

She suggested maybe you work a few extra hours and help out a bit more

Although she said it with good intentions, it ticked you off

You grumbled something about how she was better as nothing but a simple assistant

This hurt her feelings quite a bit, but she didn’t show it

“Ok MC.”

She just walked away, grabbed a cup of coffee, and popped in a Zen disc

She sat on the couch with her back towards you

After awhile, you tried to apologize

“Jaehee, I’m sorry. That wasn’t kind.”

No response came, so you continued on with your apology.

Still no response

You sighed and went to sit next to her

Only to find her eyes watering, tears threatening to fall

Jaehee rarely cried

You hugged her tightly, and didn’t let go for a long time

You held her as you both drifted to sleep

In the morning, you woke up before her and made coffee and breakfast for her, and made sure to help out more with the cafe

707:

You were stressed out, and Seven being Seven, kept making jokes and being goofy

He was trying to cheer you up and relieve some of your stress, but it only ended up irritating you

You just weren’t in the mood for his jokes, and it finally got to be too much for you to handle

“This is why Saeran hates you.” You grumble through gritted teeth

Of course you didn’t mean it, but through your blinding irritation, it slipped out

He stops whatever he’s doing, stops mid joke

His eyes start to water and his chest feels heavy

He whispers an inaudible “I know.”

And he leaves

He takes one of his cars and leaves before you can try to stop him.

He speeds, and doesn’t drive with any caution

You stay awake all night, worrying about him

He comes home at around three in the morning

You rush to him as soon as he opens the door and embrace him

You whisper and apology over and over again 

After a few minutes, he returns your embrace, and wraps you in his arms

He starts to cry while you gently stroke his hair

You pull him into bed and hold him until he falls asleep

You wake up early and let him sleep

You make him all of his favorite foods, and write reasons you love him on sticky notes and put them all over the house

He’s still a little down throughout the day

But he keeps insisting you don’t have to do this

despite his protests, you try as hard as you can to make it up to him

At night, You tell him he means the world to both you and Saeran

He tells you he forgives you as you cuddle in bed, drifting off to sleep

Jumin:

Jumin as a hard time being sympathetic sometimes, and is often overly analytical 

He’s really just trying to ease the stress and show you that there’s nothing to be stressed bout

He always tries his best to be perfect for you

So when you yell at him for being an emotionless robot, it stings

Ironically, he chooses not to show that it affects him

Tries to carry on as he normally would, but you can tell he’s being more distant and colder than he usually is.

Looks up how to show his emotions on wikihow

You finally apologize the next day

You tell him you know that he feels quite deeply inside, and that your words held no truth and were only said out of momentary anger, falsely directed at him

Jumin smiles and forgives you, and tells you he’ll take more of an effort to be sympathetic

The next day, there are lots and lots of new ties laid out on his bed as an apology, similar to the way he lays out new things he buys you 

Happy boy

V:

He tries to help you feel less stressed

His intentions are pure, but his actions do not have the desired effect

He hovers over you, constantly asking if he can do anything to help

He comes off as really clingy, and in your stressed state, it bothers you

You mutter something about Rika

That you see why she left him

And how its pathetic that he can’t even get over her

You regret the words as soon as you see his expression

His eyebrows are knit and his eyes as glossed with tears

His voice trembles as his whispers an apology

He says nothing more as he walks out of the room

You feel so terrible for what you said

You want to apologize, but where do you even begin after saying something like that?

You know he was only trying to help

An hour or so after the incident

You sheepishly creep to V’s bedroom door

His door is cracked open, and you stop immediately seeing his position

He is sitting on the edge of the bed, his back turned to you

You can see his shoulders shake with each muffled sob

Your heart aches when you see the picture he holds in his hand

A picture of you, carefully encased in a frame

After a moment, you silently crawl onto the bed and wrap your arms around him

You both sink down onto the soft covers

You choke out a soft apology

“Im sorry, V…”

“I know.”

He holds you tighter

You stay there until you both fall asleep

When you wake up, its almost as if nothing ever even happened

Until you realize all the traces of Rika have disappeared 

The last photos, trinkets, everything

In their place is only a note

“Moving on. You’re the only one I love.” -V

Despite the things you said, after the whole thing was over, V seemed more at peace and was on the path to forgiving himself.

There is no Saeran because I haven't played his route yet. I haven't played V’s route either, but I wrote this before his route was even out, which just tells you how long my damn hiatus was. mega oof.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #headcanon #v headcanon #request #jumping han #jumping han headcanon #jaehee kang #jaehee kand headcanon #yoosung kim #yoosung kim headcanon #zen #zen headcanon #707 #707 headcanon #MC says something hurtful

[therealpolyglot-blog]

5 things I wish I knew before learning Dutch

Learning Flemish Dutch by total immersion has been one of the greatest challenges I have come across while learning languages. Before I left the comforts of my country to embark in a Dutch adventure I had no idea what I was getting myself into. All I learnt before I left was “Hallo” and “Ik heet Mari”. Now it sounds very unlike me to be unprepared, but before my exchange year I didn’t knew the importance of languages. Luckily, after a year I learnt a great deal of Flemish Dutch and was able to communicate fairly easily. Here are the 5 things I wish I knew before learning this language:

Photo by Kristaps Grundsteins on Unsplash

1. Long vowels and special sound

As a native spanish speaker the idea of having different vowel sounds is unbearable. Even though I grew up speaking english and I knew how to produce this sounds, understanding the concept of them was a little confusing. In fact my host sister’s name is “Kaat” and for at least 6 months I called her “kat”, which means “cat”. Natives were nice enough to teach me differences and between long and short vowels. Now, the special sounds were something else that took me quite some time to get use to. Saying “onion” (ui) was impossible, and I always thought it was weird that “oe” will make an Spanish “u” sound and in English a “oo” sound as in “balloon”. Surprisingly enough, once I got used to them it was really easy. I only wish I knew this beforehand so I didn’t lose time learning them during my exchange.

2. So many dialects

Before I left I only knew “flamenco” (“Flemish” in Spanish) to be a famous spanish dance and “Flanders” to be a character of the Simpsons. So Flemish Dutch was completely unknown territory for me. I did expect that they spoke a little different than the Dutch, but I never expected there to be so many dialects in such a small piece of land. The accent and dialect from Brugge has nothing to do with the one from Antwerp that at the same time is very different to the one in Limburg. So many little differences confused me, I would try to learn AN (Algemeen Nederlands / Standard Dutch) and then go outside and here all of these words that made no sense.

3. The structure is just weird

The structure in Dutch is very special from a Spanish speaker’s point of view. It is what they call a SOV (subject, object, verb). Understanding where each word should go was no piece of cake. I still get confused with this matter and honestly find it really hard to speak with a natural structure.

4. Combine words

You can basically mix and match words until you get the result that you want. This can be helpful sometimes and confusing at others. But overall is a fun thing to do. The hardest thing for me is compound verbs like “oppassen”(to be careful), which will be used in the present like “pas op” and in the past participle as “opgepast”.

5. So irregular

Where do we start… “Het” and “de”, two articles, no explanation why or when to use it. They tell me it’s just something you kinda feel when it is right to use. There are some rules but they don’t apply to all. Then all of the irregular verbs. The plurals are confusing. I just CAN’T. Learning Dutch is real fun and I will say the best way to learn it is by speaking with natives and making a lot of mistakes. Take in consideration that people in the Netherlands and Belgium will often want you to speak in English so they can practice. Let them know nicely that you are learning Dutch and they will automatically switch and help you. Heel veel succes! Mari

5 cosas que me hubiera gustado saber antes de aprender holandés

Aprender holandés en una ambiente inmersivo total ha sido uno de los grandes desafíos lingüísticos que he tenido que enfrentar. Antes de dejar la comodidad de mi hogar para embarcar en una aventura con este idioma, no sabía a lo que me estaba enfrentando. Todo lo que aprendí antes de irme fue “Hallo” y “Ik heet Mari”. Se que no parece que hablara de mí cuando digo que no me preparé pero antes de mi año de intercambio no conocía la gran importancia de los idiomas. Afortunadamente después de un año aprendí muchísimo holandés y ahora soy capaz de comunicarme fácilmente. Aquí te dejo 5 cosas que me hubiera gustado saber antes de aprender holandés:

Photo by Kristaps Grundsteins on Unsplash

1. Vocales largas y sonidos especiales

Mi lengua materna es el español, por lo tanto la idea de tener diferentes sonidos para las vocales es casi absurdo. Incluso tomando en cuenta que he hablado inglés toda mi vida y que soy capaz de producir estos sonidos, el concepto de estas era un poco confuso. De hecho, mi hermana de intercambio se llama “Kaat” y estoy segura que al menos por 6 meses la llame “Kat” que significa “gato”. Los belgas fueron super amables y me explicaron las diferencias entre las vocales. Luego están los sonidos especiales, los cuales tarde un poco en entender. Decir “cebolla” (ui) fue todo un reto y siempre pensé que era un poco raro que la combinación “oe” sonaran como la “u” en español. Sorprendentemente, una vez que me acostumbre a esto todo fue super fácil. Solo hubiera deseado saberlo desde antes para no haber perdido tiempo aprendiendo esto durante mi intercambio.

2. Demasiados dialectos

Antes de irme de intercambio para mi “flamenco” era solo un famoso baile español y “flanders” un personaje de los Simpsons. Así que la idea de un “holandés flamenco” no era lo que esperaba. Siempre imaginé que por naturaleza las personas de la región flamenca de Bélgica hablarían diferente a los holandeses, pero nunca imaginé que hubieran tantas diferencias y dialectos dentro de un país tan pequeño. El acento de Brujas no tiene nada que ver con el acento de Amberes que a su vez es muy diferente a la forma de hablar en Limburgo. Todas las pequeñas diferencias me dejaron confundida, yo intentaba aprender AN (Algemeen Nederlands / holandés estandarizado) pero luego en la calle decían todas estas palabras que no podía entender.

3. La estructura es simplemente extraña

La estructura en holandés es bastante extraña para un hablante nativo de español. Es lo que se conoce como sujeto - objeto - verbo. Saber en qué parte de la oración debe ir cada palabra puede resultar confuso. Honestamente este es un error que todavía cometo.

4. Palabras combinadas

Básicamente puedes mezclar y unir palabras hasta crear la palabra que necesitas. Esto puede ser muy útil en ocasiones pero un tanto extraño a la vez. Pero en general es algo divertido de hacer. Lo complicado son los verbos compuestos como “oppassen” (tener cuidado), que se usa en una oración en presente como “pas op” pero en el pasado participio como “opgepast”.

5. Las irregularidades

Dónde empezamos… “het” y “de”, son dos artículos, no se sabe porque hay dos ni cuándo se deben usar, a mi me dijeron que si suena bonito lo usas como que es natural saber cuando se usa cada uno. Hay algunas reglas al respecto pero no aplican realmente. Luego están todos los verbos irregulares. Los plurales que son confusos. ES DEMASIADO. Aprender holandés es divertido y yo diría que la mejor manera de aprenderlo es hablando con nativos y cometiendo un montón de errores. Toma en cuenta que las personas en Holanda y Bélgica querrán practicar inglés o español contigo, diles de forma educada que estás aprendiendo holandés y veras que inmediatamente cambiarán de idioma y te ayudarán. Heel veel succes! Mari

5 Dinge, die ich gerne gewusst hätte, bevor ich Niederländisch gelernt habe

Den Flämischen Dialekt des Niederländischen zu lernen, durch totale Immersion, war eine der großartigsten Herausforderungen, über die ich je gestolpert bin, während dem Sprachenlernen. Bevor ich die Behaglichkeit meines Landes verlies, um mit meinem niederländischen Abenteuer zu beginnen, hatte ich keine Idee worauf ich mich einließ. Alles was ich zuvor gelernt hatte, war “Hallo” und “Ik heet Mari”. Jetzt, hört es sich so gar nicht nach mir an, unvorbereitet zu sein, aber vor meinem Austauschjahr kannte ich die Wichtigkeit von Sprachen noch nicht. Glücklicherweise lernte ich nach einem Jahr sehr viel flämisches Niederländisch und es war mir möglich, mich ganz einfach zu verständigen. Hier sind 5 Dinge, die ich gerne gewusst hätte, bevor ich die Sprache gelernt habe:

Photo by Kristaps Grundsteins on Unsplash

1. Lange Vokale und spezieller Laut

Als ein spanischer Muttersprachler ist der Gedanke daran, verschiedene Vokallaute zu haben, untragbar. Obwohl ich damit aufgewachsen bin, Englisch zu sprechen, und ich wusste wie man diese Laute produziert, war es etwas verwirrend das Konzept zu verstehen. In Wirklichkeit ist der Name meine Gastschwester “Kaat” und für mindestens 6 Monate nannte ich sie “Kat”, was “Katze” bedeutet. Die Muttersprachler waren nett genug, um mir den Unterschied beizubringen, zwischen langen und kurzen Vokalen. Nun, die speziellen Laute waren etwas Anderes, an dass ich mich gewöhnen musste. “Zwiebel” (ui) zu sagen war unmöglich, und ich dachte immer, dass es komisch ist, dass “oe” einen Laut darstellt wie das spanische “u” und in Englisch ein “oo” einen Laut wie in “balloon”. Überraschenderweise, sobald ich mich an sie gewöhnt hatte, war es sehr einfach. Ich wünschte nur, ich hätte dies vorher gewusst, damit ich nicht meine Zeit während des Austausches, damit verschwendet hätte, sie zu lernen.

2. So viele Dialekte

Bevor ich ging, kannte ich nur “flamenco” (“Flämisch” in Spanisch) als bekannten spanischen Tanz und “Flanders” als Figur von den Simpsons. Somit war flämisches Niederländisch total unbekanntes Terrain für mich. Ich habe erwartet, dass sie anders sprechen als die Niederländer, aber ich habe nicht erwartet, dass es so viele Dialekte in einem so kleinen Stück Land gibt. Der Akzent und Dialekt von Brugge hat nichts mit dem von Antwerp zutun, welcher zur gleichen Zeit sehr unterschiedlich von dem in Limburg ist. So viele kleine Unterschiede haben mich verwirrt, würde ich versuchen AN (Algemeen Nederlands / Standard Dutch) zu lernen, und dann raus gehen und all diese Wörter hören, würde das keinen Sinn machen.

3. Die Struktur ist merkwürdig

Die Struktur im Niederländischen ist sehr speziell, aus der Sicht eines spanischen Muttersprachlers. Es ist, wie man es nennt, SOV (Subjekt, Objekt, Verb). Zu verstehen wo jedes Wort hingehört, war kein Honigschlecken. Es verwirrt mich immer noch und ich finde es ehrlicherweise schwer mit einer natürlichen Struktur zu sprechen.

4. Wörter kombinieren

Du kannst im Grunde Wörter so lange vermissen und kombinieren, bis du hast was du möchtest. Das kann manchmal hilfreich sein, aber manchmal auch verwirrend. Aber im Großen und Ganzen ist eine spaßige Sache, die man machen kann. Die schwerste Sache für mich sind zusammengesetzte Verben wie “oppassen” (aufpassen), welches in der Gegenwart so genutzt wird “pas op” und im Partizip perfekt so “opgepast”.

5. So unregelmäßig

Wo sollen wir beginnen…. “Het” und “de”, zwei Artikel, keine Erklärung wieso und wann man sie nutzt. Sie sagen mir, es ist etwas, das man fühlt, man weiß, wann es richtig ist es zu nutzen. Es gibt einige Regel, aber sie lassen sich nicht auf alles anwenden. Und dann all diese unregelmäßigen Verben. Die Plurale sind verwirrend. Es geht einfach NICHT. Niederländisch zu lernen, macht echt Spaß und ich werde sagen, dass es wohl der beste Weg ist mit Muttersprachlern zu reden und viele Fehler zu machen, um zu lernen. Denke daran, dass Leute in den Niederlande oder in Belgien sich oft von dir wünschen werden, dass du Englisch sprichst, damit sie üben können. Sage ihnen einfach nett, dass du Niederländisch lernst und sie werden automatisch dazu wechseln und dir helfen. Heel veel succes! Mari

#dutch #flemish #belgium #abroad #languages #language learning #language blog #polyglot #therealpolyglot #german #english #spanish

[peanutbutterjelly-pie]

This is a HUGE Thank You for 3k followers!!

You're amazing and awesome and so beautiful and I actually don't know what I did to deserve you >.< I hope you may find some stories in here you haven't read yet and I will update this post regularly, so stay tuned for that!

Have fun with our two favorite idiots falling in love over and over again :D

Also watch out for the other two parts:

Alternate Universe

Alternate Universe: Supernatural Elements

CANON!VERSE:

In Which Dean Frogs Up by almaasi

Dean transforms himself into a frog by mistake, bang in the middle of Charlie's Moondoor tent. Only true love's kiss will put him back to normal. But who the hell is Dean's true love?! Since it's not Charlie or Sam, maybe Cas can shed some light.

(Words: 6k)

Lost in Words, Hand In Hand byhallowgirl

"I-" and Castiel says the words quickly. "I could always read you some other pieces of literature" and the angel looks away as if he expects Dean to run out of the room." Dean would be the first to admit that he's not a reader. Castiel has a way to remedy that. It involves a lot of reading aloud. And a lot of lying on the same bed. But that's just an accident.

(Words: 6k)

Even If It Kills Me by cymbalism

Dean has cuts that won’t heal and bruises that won’t fade, and he’s getting worse. But Heaven's at war and there are people dying in Iowa and Dean’s not fucking dying anytime soon, thank you very much. Except the part where it really seems like he is.

(Words: 7k)

How To Fail At Keeping Your Heart Safe From Sleepwalking Angels by Dean Winchester by EllaWinchester24

"You- you broke my brother!" Sam cried.

OR

The one in which a certain angel sleepwalks and Dean is defenceless against his cuteness. Also, Sam is awesome.

(Words: 7k)

Mine by whelvenwings

Dean and Cas are on a hunt together, searching for what Dean thinks is probably a ghost. However, strange things start happening, and suddenly all Dean's most secret desires seem to be coming true... but is this really who he's been wanting?

(Words: 7k)

Minty Fresh Kisses by almaasi

Dean teaches a newly-human Castiel how to brush his teeth properly. Things don't go according to plan – but for once, the unexpected development actually presents a more promising outcome.

(Words: 8k)

Damn You Auto Correct! by Chiyume

A sore throat is never a fun thing, and being unable to talk is even worse; especially if your name is Dean Winchester.

Left behind at the motel to recover while Sam takes care of their case, Dean is soon hit by utter lethargy, and since he can't speak to save his life, he resorts to texting in order to ease his restlessness.

Castiel is of course happy to oblige, and things appear to be going smoothly until auto correct decides to put its sticky fingers all over their conversation...

(Words: 8k)

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon

No one ever tells Dean anything.

(or: Dean Winchester and the not-relationship crisis of 2014)

(Words: 8k)

Hearts Here to Steal by peridium

“That you and I have been having sex,” Cas says.

Dean’s heart drops all the way to the motel basement. Because the fucked up thing is, they haven’t been. He would remember.

(Words: 9k)

Aim and Ignite by wincechesters

After the angels fall and Cas loses his grace, and with Sam still recovering from the toll taken on his body by the trials, Dean starts a prank war as a way to lighten the mood in the bunker and alleviate his boredom. It might just have some unexpected consequences.

(Words: 10k)

Shatter Me by Slanguage

At the end, there had to be a sacrifice. Castiel bled for the Winchesters before they could stop him.

When Castiel wakes up four months later under an overpass in South Dakota, fate brings him into the path of a set of familiar names in his hunt for the Winchesters, who have dropped off the face of the Earth after his passing. Armed with a sheriff, a troubled teen, a fangirl, and a gangly werewolf, the group sets off to reunite the ex-angel with his missing Winchesters, no matter the overabundance of sarcasm, determined to let nothing stop them; not even a set of angry paranormal creatures hunting for the same brothers. Because death cannot stop true love—it can only delay it for a while.

(Words: 11k)

So, That's How it Starts by por_queeee

After an encounter with an incubus inadvertently reveals Dean's feelings for Cas, Dean makes the decision to just ignore the whole thing and avoid the angel for awhile. But when a cut-and-dry case in Ohio turns into a little more than the brothers bargained for, Dean might have to consider praying for the angel after all- and confronting whatever it is that's growing between them.

(Words: 12k)

The Care and Handling of Angels by fanfic814

When a book about caring for angels shows up on their doorstep, Dean assumes it's just Sammy playing a joke. When Sam claims to know nothing about it, Dean gets curious and takes to secretly reading the book in his bedroom... and maybe trying out a few things on Cas.

(Words: 13k)

Empyrean Glow by shirozora

Post Apocalypse life isn't quite like apple pie, but it's better than Dean expected. And then a bored crossroads demon just has to take an interest in his crush on Heaven's newest archangel.

(Words: 14k)

Critical by maraudersgirl47

Dean receives a phone call that elicits a response he's not so eager to repeat - Seriously a panic attack? Him? 

Cas is in the hospital and his condition is critical. Sam and Dean spent the entire night on the road towards Idaho - Everything just seemed to fall into place after that.

(Words: 15k)

Dead Body Disposal 101 by almaasi

Cas is gonna become a hunter. According to Dean and Sam, that means he needs to learn how to efficiently dispose of dead bodies. Cas is good at it, since he can use his power to help out when he needs to, but he comes to learn that 'being useful' doesn't always mean having a shovel in his hand or angelic spark in his fingertips. Sometimes it just means sticking around instead of leaving.

(Words: 15k)

Leave My Body, Moving Up to Higher Ground by triedunture

Castiel must take a new vessel to return to earth, so he strikes a deal with a woman who isn't as willing as Jimmy had been. But Dean's in a bad way and Leviathan needs to be smote, so what else can he do?

(Words: 18k)

Build a Home by domesticadventures

After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them.

He doesn't.

(Words: 20k)

There's Only One Sure Thing That I Know by leah k (blinkiesays)

Dean doesn't even get halfway through explaining before Bobby starts laughing. When he lets himself think about it for more than five seconds, Dean can almost see Bobby's point: he's faced down demons, witches, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, angels, and Satan himself and now he's been defeated by the God damn Midwest.

(Words: 20k)

The Tunnel of Love by xylodemon

"We might," Cas starts slowly, pausing like he's choosing his words. "We might have to kiss."

Dean just stares at him.

(Words: 21k)

How to Take Care of Angels and Little Animals by remivel

Gabriel is tired of having to listen to Castiel's woes about the Winchesters, so he decides to take matters into his own hands... and turns Castiel into a furry pet for the Winchesters to take care of.

(Words: 21k)

Hurry Up And Wait by MittenWraith

Cas has given up his grace to hunt with the Winchesters, but that's not the only thing that's been a long time in the making. A strange potential case perks Dean's interest, if for no other reason than it pushes every geeky button he's got. An impossible murder committed with a sword from a special collection of weapons straight out of the Lord of the Rings leads them to discover another treasure they've waited far too long to find again.

(Words: 22k)

Okay, Let's Go by Nejinee

Sometimes a hunt goes awry and turns into something bordering on the insane. Sometimes, shit just gets weird.

These are the excerpts, the hunts no one ever talks about, because Dean doesn't like to reminisce about the time he was toddler-sized. And Sam's just gonna bury the memory of the time he was female for a hot second. And Cas is such a dork sometimes, maybe Dean just wants to keep that nugget to himself?

Not every hunt is perfect, but who the hell ever expects them to be?

(Words: 24k)

Après by imogenbynight

When the angels stop falling and Castiel makes his way out of the trees, he finds himself alone and oceans away from the Winchesters. For once, Dean flies to him.

(Words: 24k)

How to Date an Angel in 12 Easy Steps byfourthduckling

It's not that hard to date an angel. All Dean has to do is fight off hordes of vampires, research gay porn, get sucked into a crappy Narnia, endure Sam's comments, creep out on Dr. Sexy, get harassed -- oh, and that's right-- figure out he's into Cas. Easy, right?

(Words: 24k)

That Don't Impress Dean Much by ANobleCompanion

Cas has fallen and he's trying to find a way to impress Dean so the hunter will want to keep him around.

(Words: 24k)

The Mirror bycloudyjenn

When Dean touches a strange mirror, he's whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesn't take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.

(Words: 24k)

Castiel in the Bunker by Athena_Ergane

After giving up on the trials, Sam and Dean find Castiel lost, empty, and human. They take him back to the bunker to their broken hunter family. Kevin is livid. Sam is sick. Dean is worried. Yet, all three men find time to teach Castiel something new about being human. They bond through their lessons with Cas.

(Words: 25k)

If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found by WinJennster

Days after I’m No Angel, Castiel finds himself exiled from the safety of the bunker. The money Dean gives him runs out all too soon. Luck, or perhaps divine providence, lands him on the Amish farm of Jacob and Lydia Bieler. The Bielers take Cas in. Despite the Amish’s general distrust of outsiders - Englischers - the strange man who can understand their language and isn’t afraid of hard work seems a natural fit amongst them. Castiel thinks he might just go ahead and stay - the farm seems like a good place to heal his broken heart, and maybe forget who broke it …

(Words: 25k)

Dream as if You'll Live Forever by MittenWraith

Cas has just sacrificed the last of his reclaimed grace to cure Dean of the Mark of Cain. He held on to the last wisps for as long as he could, but the first time he succumbs to sleep as a human again, he's in the back seat of the Impala while Dean's driving at highway speeds. A strange dream sets off a series of near catastrophic events, from almost-car-crashes to Dean feeling responsible for Cas being human enough to have a nightmare in the first place. What starts off as an apology ends up somewhere neither of them would've hoped for in their wildest dreams.

(Words: 25k)

Framed in a Stranger's Speech by pantheon_of_discord

Dean, Sam, and Cas have finally found some normalcy – and despite all odds, happiness – when an average hunt leaves a powerful witch gunning for revenge. When the dust clears, there’s a crater in the bunker’s walls and Cas’ vessel is lying empty on the floor. But Jimmy isn’t the only Novak out there …

(Words: 27k)

Bittersweet

Dean and Cas unknowingly start a long-distance relationship.

(Words: 28k)

The First and the Last by peridium

The soul bomb doesn't work, and God is going to die, but Amara has a soft spot for Dean. She gives him the gift of time: the end of the world will be slow.

Dean, Cas, and Sam travel the country in the breaking-down Impala to get in one last road trip and help their scattered friends wherever they can. Between looted gas stations and empty motels without wi-fi, monsters even more monstrous than usual, and heat so stifling not even Dean can wear more than one layer, they're fucked.

Unless they're not. Unless Billie the reaper is right and Cas has something amazing up his sleeve. Dean just has to get his head out of his ass and accept that the power of love might not be a total load of crap after all.

(Words: 30k)

Tethered by thestoryinsideme

When Castiel disappears without a trace, along with the Mark of Cain and twenty-four hours of Dean's life, Dean seeks out the help of the only other righteous angel he knows – Hannah.

(Words: 32k)

Everything Comes Back to You by VioletHaze

Dean knew better. Of course he did. But Cas seemed so charmed by the antique-filled bed and breakfast that Dean went along with it when the proprietor mistook them for a couple. Telling himself it gave them a strategic advantage to be so close to the crime scene, he agreed to the weekend special she offered them. When the case ended up being a bust, they stuck around anyhow because hey, the second night was free…

(Words: 33k)

Zenith by anactoria

Season 9 AU. Still relatively new to humanity, Castiel struggles with both Dean’s confusing behaviour and the loss of his angelic faculties. When a pissed-off witch restores his ability to see the supernatural, the curse seems like a blessing. He can help his friends again – and when Dean’s lies blow up in his face and Sam is once again left hovering between life and death, Cas is happy to be useful. But his abilities keep getting stronger, and they might just be more than a human brain can handle.

(Words: 33k)

Bucket List by cheeseburgersmakemeveryhappy

It's time Dean remembered who he is now that the Mark is gone. He wants to try new things, do something different, and realizes he doesn’t want to do it alone.

(Words: 35k)

Our Bodies, Possessed By Light by obstinatrix

Purged of all his souls, Castiel is a changed being, stronger than an angel and too powerful for Jimmy's body to contain. Happily, there's an archangel's vessel on hand, and he could use fixing, too. Dean isn't too happy about the idea of his brother acting as a vessel for Castiel, and Sam can guess why, but it isn't until Castiel gets inside his head and they learn to share the vessel -- and their thoughts -- that Sam realises Cas is as in love with Dean as Dean is with him. It's unfortunate that there's nothing much to be done about it now, but Castiel will get another vessel soon. The Winchesters will make damn sure of that. In the meantime, it's up to the three of them to establish their own strange accord, and Dean realises more fully than ever that it's Castiel, and not his vessel, that he loves.

(Words: 40k)

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing by superhoney

Dean’s life has always been dictated by duty rather than by need. So when Amara offers to give him the thing he needs most, he doesn’t know what to expect, but it certainly isn’t this: a chance to rest, some time away from his life and his burdens. Now he’s trapped in an enchanted sleep, unable to bring himself back to the waking world …

(Words: 40k)

Someone Who's Feeling For Me by ellispark

Dean sees her for the first time in nearly six years in some no-name town in Idaho, and it's panic at first sight.

Lisa Braeden, the one woman Dean ever actually had a shot at a real life with, back from where he buried her in his mind. And her hand is on Cas's arm like it's no big deal, like it belongs there.

Cas, Dean's dorky, sweet, badass, angelic best friend, and he's just standing there next to Lisa and not moving her hand away.

Dean feels the jealousy rising, and it's not directed where he expected it to be.

Because it takes this exact moment for Dean to realize he's in love with his best friend. He's in love with his best friend, and Lisa is looking at Cas like he's the best thing since automatic rifles, and Dean is utterly fucked.

(Words: 46k)

Though The Course May Change by imogenbynight

After a couple who went missing several years ago from an Oregon couples retreat are mysteriously returned on the same night that another disappears, Dean and Charlie plan to go undercover to find the cause--until Dean's foot meets his mouth, and he finds himself fake-engaged to Castiel instead.

(Words: 52k)

The Prophet Must Die by imogenbynight

"What about Castiel? He seems helpful... and dreamy."

Something about the comment just isn't sitting right, and Dean's jaw twitches. He stares at the wall in the dark, and at a quarter past four in the morning, it hits him.

"Asshole," Dean hisses under his breath, sitting up straight, "that sonofabitch kept publishing."

(Words: 54k)

These Violent Delights by Persephoneshadow

A newly mortal Castiel wants to understand humanity, and a little Shakespeare is just the thing to help him. Of course, it takes a little bit of prodding, but soon the Winchesters (along with Kevin and Charlie) are all part of the world's weirdest reading club. Of course, the poetry starts having an effect on everyone...

(Words: 57k)

To Mend The Cracks With Gold by starsandgutters

After almost losing Charlie to the Stynes, and almost losing Cas in the fight that follows, Dean Winchester is ready to do whatever it takes to rid himself of the Mark of Cain. But when the solution turns out to lie in unfinished Winchester business - shutting the gates of hell - Dean begins to realize this is a quest he might not survive.

(Words: 59k)

As Thin of Substance as the Air by Speary

Chasing a nephilim and keeping the world from yet another potential apocalypse leaves little time for the apple pie life. That sort of life is the very thing that dreams are made from, and Dean barely has time for even that. So when Sam hands him a case that takes them into a charming, small town in Virginia where winter never comes and everything is pleasant, he rolls with it, mostly. After all, Cas is with them there, and sometimes they get to live like they aren’t about to die and kiss like they’ve got all the time in the world.

(Words: 59k)

Circadia by imogenbynight

4-01 is a monster undeserving of a name.

In a facility known only as Circadia, he serves a life sentence in punishment for terrible crimes he cannot remember, and is told to be grateful to have forgotten what those he left behind cannot.

Meanwhile, convinced that he is nothing but a poisonous presence in the lives of those he loves, Dean is attempting to track down Gadreel when Sam calls with bad news: Castiel has disappeared without a trace.

(Words: 76k)

Meet You in Idaho by hunenka

Even if Castiel can’t live in the bunker as long as Ezekiel is healing Sam, it doesn’t mean that Dean can’t stay in touch with the fallen angel. So staying in touch with Cas is exactly what Dean does. In more ways than he originally expected.

(Words: 93k)

The Most Important Thing by NorthernSparrow

Jimmy Novak remembers nothing of the last six years. Reunited with his troubled daughter Claire, he's struggling to raise her on his own. The most important thing is to make Claire happy. But why does he keep having these dreams of wings, and of two men in a black car?

(Words: 95k)

CANON DIVERGENCE:

bloody, but unbowed by you_idjits

Sam doesn’t know what to expect when he walks into the courtroom. But of all the possibilities, he would never have imagined this one: his brother, grinning like the devil, in the defendant’s chair.

Or, the one where Sam never goes to Jericho with Dean, but instead pursues law school and a life with Jess. Dean falls in love with a gas station attendant named Castiel.

Six years after they last saw one another, Sam and Dean meet again in a courtroom. A lot can change in six years.

(Words: 10k)

Dean Winchester's Secret (Angel) Boyfriend by reluctantabandon, Winter_of_our_Discontent

Dean Winchester isn't exactly a team player. So when he starts mentioning a new Hunting partner, Ellen and Jo Harvelle aren't sure whether they should be worried or relieved.

But they're starting to get the feeling there's something important Dean's not telling them about Cas...

(Words: 11k)

Equinox by luchia

In which Castiel is the weird time-traveling freak who just might be the love of Dean Winchester's life.

(Words: 12k)

Face to Face with the Skies by quiddative

(Set right after 4.22) Castiel was not killed by Raphael on the night of Lucifer’s release. Instead, he’s sent to the year 1996 and encounters the Winchesters. Unable to return to the present, Castiel resigns himself to traveling with them on their hunts across the states.

Meanwhile in the year 2008, Dean has barely gotten used to being back in the land of the living when he gets the biggest shock of his life; the man he fell in love with when he was eighteen has seemingly come back from the grave as well, claiming to be an angel of the Lord. The thing is, he doesn’t have a clue who Dean is.

(Words: 42k)

Find the River by LoversAntiquities

Barely a month after recovering from the crash that nearly took his life, Dean’s world is rocked once again, this time the result of an even more devastating injury—the loss of his leg. The accident should have killed him, left Sam alone with a car and without his brother. But in the aftermath, Dean finds unanticipated salvation in a gray-suited man who calls himself an Angel and claims Dean’s life is worth more than he thinks.

After Dean’s miraculous recovery, the Angel leaves him to his own devices with a prosthetic leg and a mission—to find out more about this mysterious ‘Castiel’ and the meaning behind why he pulled Dean from the brink of death, why he thought Dean, out of everyone else that day, was worth saving. And maybe, just maybe, Dean can come to accept it as well.

(Words: 43k)

Season Ticket On A One Way Ride by Darksilvercat

Before Castiel breaks Dean out of the green room in 4.22, he breaks Anna out of prison. With two angels on Team Free Will, the apocalypse takes a different course. Some things change, some things stay the same, and the world is going to Hell in a handbasket, but in the midst of it all, Dean finds a way to hold his family together.

(Words: 44k)

The Law of Equivalent Exchange by awed_frog

“And what’s the point of it?”

“Of love? There isn’t one. Loving is its own purpose.”

(Words: 61k)

A Different Kind of Falling by Lyrial

“I will do it then,” Castiel said with confidence that he did not truly possess. “I will pretend to be a hunter and gain the trust of Dean Winchester so that we may locate Michael’s grace and restore him. I might not be as familiar with humanity as Balthazar is, but I am still a master tactician. I am certain that deceiving a few humans will be well within my capabilities.”

As the humans would say, famous last words.

(Dean is the fallen archangel Michael. Castiel is sent on a mission to restore him to his angelic self. Things get complicated, however, when Castiel finds himself falling for Dean.)

(Words: 72k)

a turn of the earth by mishcollin

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

(Or, in which Castiel gets stuck in Dean’s timeline preseries and Dean kind of hates it—until he doesn’t.)

(Words: 95k)

My Roots Take Flight by KismetJeska

After forty years in Hell, Dean’s more than willing to accept the offer: become a guardian angel and earn his freedom. But his new ward seems destined to hunt alongside Sam, and there are secrets in Heaven that the angels don’t want found out. Dean’s going to have to choose between his duty and the people he loves- and to work out just where Castiel fits in.

(Words: 126k)

#destiel #fanfic #fic #fic rec #rec list #masterlist #canon!verse #canon divergence #fics underneath the cut

[inkognito97]

You are such an amazing writer ! I spent all night on your Tumblr (literally ALL night xD) , discovering all your great works and the more I read you, the more happy I became :) I would love to know what will happen next in your Clone AU (where Qui-Gon survived Naboo and takes Anakin as his Padawan and Obi-Wan left for Kamino) - anyways, I'm sorry for my possibly terrible english, I'm french and have mostly learnt english by myself ^^'

@nessa-oronra

Why thank you, for your kind words. But do tell, did you actually stay awake the whole night? O.o

You can’t do that! Don’t get me wrong, I feel honored, but you need to sleep. Think of your health! :)

Your English is fine, believe me. And by the way, Englisch isn’t my mother tongue either, so it’s fine one way or the other.^^

I hope you enjoy.^^

Qui-Gon was pleased that his Padawan appeared to be calm and serene, even though he could feel the tumultuos emotions through their bond, almost as if they were his own. Anakin Skywalker was sometimes too much, even for him. His connection to the Force was strong and he lacked the finesse that Obi-Wan had possessed. Therefore it came to no surprise that his emotions were intense as well and his shielding not as good as they should be. But there was a reason why the blonde was still a Padawan. He would learn, Qui-Gon was absolutely certain of that. And until then, he would help the younger male as good as he could.

The long haired male dared to take a look around. Most of the seats in the Council chamber were occupied. Three of the Masters were only present via hologram and one chair was completely empty. Qui-Gon did not need to guess long, to whom that particular seat belonged.

“We have received a detailed report from Master Kenobi,” Mace Windu started the meeting without much ado. He was a man of business, with a lot of work, he had no time for much pleasantries. “He stated that Padawan Skywalker engaged General Grievous in a fight. As a result, he got injured and Master Kenobi deemed it necessary to step in to protect Padawan Skywalker from further harm, is that correct?”

“Yes Master,” it was Anakin who answered.

Mace hummed. “It also stated that Master Kenobi was wounded fiercely during the fight and that the clones were able to distract Grievous long enough, for him to escape. Is that also correct?”

“Yes Master,” Anakin repeated in a monotone voice.

Both Master and Padawan were holding their breaths. Surely the dark skinned Korun Master would deliver Anakin’s punishment for recklessness any minute now. The man never let out an opportunity to deal out punishments, which were directed at the unusual pair.

“Well, the Council will accept Master Kenobi’s oral report as sufficient. We also deem it wise for you to remain in the temple, until Padawan Skywalker’s arm is fully healed. If there is nothing else,” he let the sentence trail off.

Anakin’s confusion and surprise was coming clear over the bond, not that Qui-Gon was faring much better. He would have thought that Obi-Wan would take the opportunity, especially since it was presented to him on a silver platter and would make his Padawan pay in order to teach him a lesson. Never would he have thought that the rule-loving man he had trained all those years ago, would lie to his fellow Council members. Then again, ‘lying’ was such a strong word. It was rather the fact that he had not told them everything that had transpired.

“No Masters,” Qui-Gon answered and bowed, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Anakin do the same. With that, the Master-Padawan team escaped the round hall and the scrutinizing glares of the Order’s wisest and most skilled Jedi Masters. 

“That went well,” the blonde grinned and for the first time since the start of their relationship, did Qui-Gon truly see the arrogance and aloofness in his Padawan. And he did not like what he saw.

Despite his better judgement and Vokara Che’s warnings, Qui-Gon found himself standing right before the closed door to Obi-Wan’s room. The ginger haired male was still in the halls of healing, not a good sign.

The long haired Jedi Master sighed. Standing here, would not get him any further, even though he had no idea, what he actually wanted to achieve with this visit. Deciding that he had doubted himself and his actions long enough, he pushed the door open and stepped in, only to be greeted by a pair of keen and intelligent blue-green eyes that seemed to easily see right through him.

“And I thought you were frozen out there,” the corners of Obi-Wan’s mouth were twitching. Qui-Gon immediately noticed that he had shaved. The full beard had vanished to make place for a mustache that framed the man’s mouth and ended it a short beard around his chin. It looked elegant and it suited the young male much better. It did not make him look so old.

“No, I was just not certain if my presence was wanted,” Qui-Gon answered. Obi-Wan did not answer and the older Jedi took the time to truly look at the resting male. His former Padawan did not look good. He was still way too pale and if the bags under his eyes were any indicator, then he must have been totally exhausted.

“What did you want?” Qui-Gon noticed that Obi-Wan was refraining from using titles or names, interesting.

“I came to talk and to find out, why you kept things out of the report.”

An elegant eyebrow rose and Obi-Wan slowly raised his arm to stroke the beard that framed his mouth. “Would you have preferred if I had made your Padawan stand against the wall, defenseless and at the Council’s mercy?”

“Of course not, it’s just,” he stopped talking, not exactly sure what to say.

In this very moment, blue-green eyes looked wide awake, so did their owner and Qui-Gon suddenly realized, why Obi-Wan had gotten his seat on the Council. With such a sure and dominant aura around him, it was truly no wonder. 

“I am a Jedi, I do not seek revenge or anything in that direction. I might not be particularly… fond, of your Padawan, but that does not mean that he is not a fellow Jedi and therefore a part of our society and family.”

“I did not mean to imply otherwise…” he locked his eyes with blue-green ones. “What about the clones?”

“What about them?”

“They are very fond of you, while they seem to despise me and Anakin.” This was one of the mysteries he wanted to be solved this very day.

Obi-Wan actually grimaced and it was not from pain. “That might be my fault. I spent the last few years on Kamino and I told them about my history as a Jedi. I felt like the right thing to do, the right thing to bond with them… had I known that they would become this… protective, I would have thought twice about it.”

That explained a lot. Qui-Gon closed his eyes. Then he and his troops just had to get used to each other. It would work out, he could feel it, though it would take a lot of effort, especially on his part. 

His focus snapped back to the injured man, who had closed his eyes and was breathing in a controlled pattern. His arm was resting loose on his midsection, though his hand was tightly shut into a fist. He was in pain, realized Qui-Gon, but before the latter could do anything, the wave of pain seemed to be over.

Without thinking about it, Qui-Gon stepped closer, until he could seat himself on the other male’s sickbed. He reached out and took a smaller calloused hand into his own, squeezing it.

“I have to thank you,” he said.

“It is my duty,” he was as modest and humble as ever.

“No, it is MY duty. Yet it was you, who protected my Padawan and it had almost cost you your life,” he said in a serious tone. “I don’t know, how I can ever repay you.” He meant so much more then that incident with Anakin and he feared that the message would not get across, but one look in knowing blue-green orbs, told him that the unspoken message had been received. 

Again Obi-Wan remained silent. He was thinking about what had been said and it became clear to the older male that he would not get an answer today. It didn’t matter, he would remain in the temple for some time anyway, so he could wait. Besides, the young Master was reaching his limit, painkillers were taking their toll on the young body.

“It was good to see you again, Obi,” he dared to say. It was strange how certain events, like a Padawan being in mortal danger, could change your view of people and your relationship with them.

“I agree… Qui-Gon,” mumbled the injured, his eyes were already closed again. Qui-Gon waited until the man had fallen completely asleep, before rising silently to his feet. He would come back later, for now, all Obi-Wan needed was rest.

#star wars #obi wan kenobi #qui gon jinn #anakin skywalker #mace windu #council #council member obi-wan #padawan anakin #qui-gon lives #anakin is qui-gon's padawan #injured obi-wan #hurt obi-wan #talk #cloneAU #clone wars #prompt #nessa-oronra

[pagesoflauren]

A Thousand Years (vampire!Jack x reader AU) - Part 7

Part 6 Part 6.5 Masterlist

“Here’s your lunch,” Jack says, handing her a small tote bag with a tupperware, an apple and a juice box. “Have you packed your water bottle as well?” “Yes, mum,” Y/N chides, taking the bag from him and tying it to one of the straps on her backpack so that her hands could be free. Jack puts his hands on his hips, giving her an unamused glare. She giggles, getting on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “You’ll be back at 4:30?” he says, holding her waist and leaning down to kiss her cheek as well. “Yeah, around that time,” she says. “Okay. What time will George be around?”

As if on cue, the doorbell rang.

“Now, I guess,” she laughs, walking over to the door as she slings her backpack over her shoulder. She unlocks it and opens the door to find her friend eating a bagel, cream cheese smeared on his face. “Don’t you look handsome…” she mutters sarcastically. “T’ank you,” he says with his full mouth. Jack comes to the door, avoiding the rectangle of sunlight that comes through the opening. “Oh,” George says, stepping in and allowing Y/N to close the door. “Hey, mate,” he says, reaching his hand out to shake Jack’s. “Morning,” Jack greets, giving him a firm handshake. “Y/N, do you mind if I finish this really quick?” “No, take your time.”

They chatted casually while George finished his breakfast. Jack learned that Y/N and George met during their first year of uni when they were in the same dorm. George moved out of the dormitories after the first year because it was too expensive and has been living in a co-op with some other lads that were still in uni and went to the same school or a different school and others that were working full time. “How many people live in your house?” “It’s a three bedroom house with five guys in it.” Jack wrinkles his nose at the idea. He had trouble living with Socks for a couple years and is still adjusting to living with Y/N; he can’t imagine what it’s like to live with four other people. “It’s not as bad as you think. Though we do have to call some of our girl friends to help with washing or something because we’re so clueless.My first week there I had to call Y/N to talk me through doing a load of laundry.” “Ah, yeah. She had to teach me how to use a Mac the other day.” “Oh, nice!” George says, taking another bite of his bagel and chewing it very casually, “How’s that going?” “Oh, I have no idea how to do anything still. I might just stick with the TV and cooking for now, have her deal with all that.” “Doesn’t sound like a bad combination. How’s cooking, you like it?” “I do, until I have to use garlic or onions.” “Mmm,” George hums, understanding as he stuffs the last bit of his bagel into his mouth. He chews quickly and Jack turns to find Y/N on the couch on her phone. “Y/N, love,” Jack calls, grabbing her attention, “Time for you to go.” “Okay,” she says, getting up and putting her backpack back on and stuffing her phone into her pocket. She hurries over to him, hopping on her toes to give him another kiss. “Have a good day, my love,” he whispers. He turns to George, “Have a good day, mate.” “You too,” he smiles, shaking his hand.

Jack steps back when Y/N opens the door to prevent himself from getting exposed to the sunlight that comes through the door and waves to her when she calls out one last goodbye.

“I’m gonna make a phone call,” Y/N says once George starts the car. She dials the number and brings her phone to her ear, listening as the ringing tone chimes in her ear. “Is this about finding Jack’s friend?” “Yeah, I found their old address in Liechtenstein, so I’m hoping I can find their old landlord and they can give me some information.”

George nods as he lowers the volume on the radio.

“Hallo?” a woman says on the other line after a minute of ringing “Um, hallo…spre-sprechen sie Englisch?” Y/N asks, speaking what little German she retained from her childhood trip to Berlin. “Yes,” the woman replies, “How can I help you?”

She sounds like she’s been speaking English for a long time, and Y/N is relieved a bit. “Hi, my name’s Y/N. What’s yours?” “Lotta. Nice to meet you, Y/N.” “It’s nice to meet you too. Um, Lotta, I was wondering if you could possibly give me information about a former tenant of yours?” “How long ago were they a resident here?” “They left in 1995 and possibly moved in around 1993.” She hears drawers opening and closing and papers being spread across the desk. “What is their name?” “Thomas Morrison. T-H-O-M-A-S-M-O-R-R-I-S-O-N. And, um, Poppy Hollingberry. P-O-P-P-Y-H-O-L-L-I-N-G-B-E-R-R-Y.” “Okay…please give me one moment.”

Y/N waits anxiously as the woman is silent on the other end of the line. She hums and mumbles to herself and Y/N’s heart drops a little when she hears a quiet “No” on the other end. “Ms. Y/N?” Lotta speaks after a few minutes. They’re almost to campus now. “Yes, I’m here.” “Hi. We do have record of a Thomas Morrison. I assume his phone number changed when he moved since it says here it moved to another country, but there is a job description here; a barista.” “Do you know what coffeeshop it was?” Y/N asks, the hope is her voice extremely noticeable. “No, unfortunately there is no indication of which coffeeshop it was. There are a few within a one-mile radius of this building, so I think it’s likely to be one of those.” “Okay. Okay, thank you so much, Lotta. This was a huge help,” Y/N says appreciatively. “Of course. I hope you can get in touch with him. Have a good day and good luck!” “Thank you, you too!” Y/N hangs up as George pulls into the parking lot on campus. “Sorry we couldn’t listen to music.” “No, it’s alright. You found something, though?” “I did! Kind of. I have to do more research, but I think the ball is rolling.” “Good, I’m glad something came out of it.” “Thanks. I really wanna do this for him. And I really hope I can do it before his birthday.” “I’m sure you will. When’s his birthday?” “June.” “Did you do anything this year?” “No! Because I didn’t know, he never told me and I never asked, which actually confuses me because I feel like the first thing you ask when you meet someone is what their birthday is. But I just never did and we never celebrated because ‘he’s had 167 of them, he doesn’t need another.’” “Nah, fuck that! You gotta do something special on birthdays!” he says as he pulls into a parking spot. “Have you got bills for the pay station?” “Yeah,” she replies, unbuckling her seatbelt when George stopped the engine. She hops out of the car and pulls her backpack over her shoulders before fishing her wallet out. They walk to the pay station and she pays half before they begin walking to the science building. “Let’s get this year done!”

“There ya are mate, a big heaping of your favorite food, just the way you like it,” Jack says as he sets Socks’ food bowl down in front of him. He had spent the day cleaning and doing some laundry, killing some time with some more Jeremy Kyle. It wasn’t until 4:00 that Socks began asking for food again, so Jack obliged.

However, Socks doesn’t eagerly dig in, he just stares at the food bowl before looking back at Jack.

“What?” Socks’s tail swipes back and forth across the floor. “Why aren’t you eating?” Socks just stares at him through green eyes. “Mate, it’s your food, the same food you’ve eaten for the past two years since I got you, what’s wrong?”

Socks meows this time, getting up and walking away. Jack is confused when he follows him up the stairs. Socks is, again, sitting in front of Y/N’s office. The door is open this time but Y/N forgot to draw the curtains shut, so sunlight filters through the window there. Jack stays in the dark hallway as Socks gets up and goes in, meowing.

“She’s not in there, mate. She’s at school.”

Socks doesn’t give up, meowing and circling the room. Jack huffs in annoyance, arms crossing over his chest. Why won’t he just eat the damn food? He goes downstairs and sits in front of the TV. He looks over to the stairs when he hears Socks’ footsteps and watches as the feline looks around more before walking back to the food bowl.

He gets up and walks over to him. “Why aren’t you eating?” he asks again. Meow. Jack thinks for a bit, trying to understand Socks’ behavior of not eating and looking around the house. “Is it because Y/N didn’t make your food?” Silence. “Mate, it’s the same food, I make it just like she does. Same amount of dry food and wet food.” Silence. “It’s the same food you’ve been eating for years!” Silence. “Fine! Starve for all I care!” he says exasperated. He huffs as he stands as he and his cat engage in a staring contest. In the back of his mind, Jack is thinking Socks is doing this just to be difficult since Y/N isn’t there to witness his mischief. He looks at the clock on the microwave and sees that it’s 4:15. She could be home any minute.

“Please eat, she’ll be home soon, she might get mad at me for not feeding you.” Exactly, Jack imagines him saying. “You’re a little shit, you know that right?” I know. “Please eat,” he says, sitting on the floor, next to him. No. “Why not!?” Because. “It’s the SAME. DAMN. FOOD.” I don’t care. “SOCKS LOWDEN YOU EAT THIS FOOD RIGHT NOW.” Since when was my last name Lowden? “I’m your owner, you have my last name and you will listen to me!” Make me. “Please, please just eat,” Jack says, lying on the floor. The door unlocks and opens and Y/N walks into the kitchen. “What is happening?” “Socks won’t eat and I’m trying to get him to-“ “What are you talking about, he’s almost done.” “WHAT.” Jack scrambles up to look and lo and behold, his cat is digging into his food bowl, his tail straight up and ears perked. Y/N gives Jack a skeptical look. “Your age is showing, honey,” she says, stroking his cheek, “You’re losing it.” “No, no! We had an argument, he wasn’t listening to me, I put the food in fifteen minutes ago-“ “Shhh, stop grousing, it’s okay. This happens when people age, they see things that aren’t actually there.” Jack harrumphs to himself, crossing his arms over his chest and scowling. Y/N giggles as she turns to put her tupperware in the sink. “Lunch was really good, by the way. Thank you.” He doesn’t reply, eyes concentrated onto the floor and Y/N presses a kiss his cheek. “Stop frowning, baby. I like your dimples too much.” He feels a smile through his features, the muscles in his torso relaxing and his hands reaching to hold her to him “Can’t stay too long,” she says, cuddling into his side as his arms wrap around her, over her backpack and around to the other side to rest on her arm, “I’ve got homework.” “Already?” “This is normal, Jack. I’ve got a few chapters to read and outline.” He huffs into her hair and she pulls away, “I’ll be down in a couple hours for dinner, don’t worry.” “Okay.” He watches her go up the stairs with her backpack and hears her office door shut.

Y/N pauses her music after a couple hours of studying, feeling her stomach rumble. She goes to the bedroom to change, pulling on one of her dad’s old concert shirts and sleeping shorts. She grabs a bobby pin and tucks it into her hair so that it doesn’t fall into her face while she’s eating. She hears “My Girl” by the Temptations playing from a speaker downstairs.

“I guess you say, what can make me feel this way? My girl.” She laughs to herself when she hears an extra voice, the one that belongs to her boyfriend, singing along. She stands in the doorway of the kitchen, taking out her phone and opening Snapchat to take a video as the last refrain of the song plays. “I’ve got sunshine on a cloudy day with my girl,” Jack sings and dances around with an apron tied around his waist, using the wooden spoon in his hand as a mock microphone as a pot simmers on the stove. “I’ve even got the month of May—AH!” He jumps when he sees her in the doorway and quickly hides the spoon behind his back. She giggles as she sends the video to some of her friends. “Darling,” he says bashfully and Y/N is sure his cheeks would be turning red if he were human, “You’re early, I’m not quite done yet.” “Did you get distracted getting your boogie on?” “No! I was just, you know, sampling the pasta sauce.” “Mhmm,” she hums, “what’re you making?” “There’s this thing called one-pot pastas, have you heard of them?” “Oh yeah, it’s pretty cool.” “Yeah! You’ve got food for the week now and I only have to wash one pot!”

She laughs again at his excitement over this concept of making pasta in one pot that yields a huge serving. He’s still raving about it as he makes her plate and Y/N just stands there. She stands there and smiles, loving that she’s able to see him get excited over something so simple. She wants to keep showing him things, whatever new inventions and innovations have come out since he fell off the grid. She wants him to be this happy and excited all the time. “…and dinner is served!” he turns to hand her the plate and sees that she’s looking at him. “What?” “Nothing,” she says, shaking her head. She walks to him and cups his face, looking into his eyes. They’re mild and soft, blue like the ocean before a storm. “I love you,” she whispers. He laughs a bit to himself, as if he finds it amusing that she’s telling him this now, “Because I cook for you?” “No, because you’re perfect.” “I’m far from it, love.” “No way.” “I am,” he states, setting her plate on the counter and turning away from her, “Before I met you, I…” “What?”

He closes his eyes and inhales deeply, forcing his lungs to take in as much air to its full capacity. “Jack, you’re scaring me,” she says quietly. She’s not stupid; she’s completely aware of what he’s capable of. Knowing that he might be telling her of some atrocity he participated in or committed frightens her. How could he hide that under his sweet face so well? Had he fooled her for the past eleven months? “I changed a human. And I’ve killed a lot of them too.” “Jack, you’ve told me, you only kill the other that hurt others-“ “I took a woman’s life and watched her become what I am,” he interrupts, emotions bursting forward. He never planned on telling her, he never planned on speaking of that woman again. “And I watched her become this angry, vengeful person that was so angry at me that she killed every living thing in her sight. Carol Grey, have you heard of her?”

Y/N’s quiet as she recollects the memories from her first year of psychology. Carol Grey was the classic example of someone who killed for sport out of anger. She was a notorious 1970s serial killer, acting quickly to kill almost thirty people within a three-week time period. Y/N begins connecting dots: Carol killed to spite a lover—Jack—and was found and killed by the Vampire Police Department of London. Peace was restored, but she’s mostly the reason why humans don’t interact with vampires much. “How could you keep this from me for so long?” she asks. “What was I supposed to say? ‘I’m the reason Carol Grey became a serial killer’?” “It couldn’t have been all you.” “She blamed me. I tried to stop her and she said ‘You made me this way. You’ve done this to me. I can’t kill you but I can kill others.’ Why do you think I tried ending it after we had dinner together for the first time? I couldn’t have you wanting me to change you then turn around and start killing people.” “It’s not your fault. You bit her, but you didn’t make her kill all those people. That was a choice she made on her own and she used you as a scapegoat. She was probably mad at herself for asking you to do it and that’s how she hashed it out.”

He doesn’t say anything, and Y/N thinks this is the most vulnerable she’s seen him since he was afraid to meet her parents. She holds her hand out. “Jack.” He looks at her open hand, but looks away. “Jack, take my hand. Please.”

He sniffles, appearing to reluctantly take her hand, but she feels his tight grip. He’s holding on with everything he has.  She pulls him toward her and wraps her arms around him so that he can rest his head in the crook of her neck.

“What you did and what she did are completely different. I understand why you think it’s your fault, but you need to know that it was a choice she made. You were doing what you thought was right and that’s what happened. It doesn’t make you a bad guy, it doesn’t make you an accomplice,” she whispers, pushing his shoulders gently so that she can look into his eyes, “and it doesn’t make me love you any less. And it doesn’t make you any less perfect to me.”

Jack knows what it’s like to have a crush on someone. But now, he knows what it feels like to look into a person’s eyes and feel their love for him. The stray movement of her finger tips on the back of his neck and on his shoulder spread a feeling of calm over him. The reassuring look in her eyes helps him understand that she doesn’t hold his past against him and he realizes he shouldn’t hold it against himself. He had been angry and upset for so long, almost shutting Y/N out only to let her in when she told him she didn’t want to be like him. He knows what it’s like to forgive himself after forty years of being single.

When he saw Thomas and Poppy together, he told himself that it was very possible he’d be their third wheel for all eternity, their single friend that just never settles down, because he couldn’t let what happened with Carol repeat. Y/N almost forced her way into his life, returning his jacket when she didn’t need to, pulling him into their first kiss, bringing him up to date with the times and showing him that life can be fun. He can’t help but feel so lucky that she came into the pub that night. He’s so lucky that she loves him, which is something he never thought he’d have.

“Sit with me while I eat?” she asks. “Yes,” he says.

They sit at the dining table together, chatting as Y/N eats. Their chairs are close together and Jack’s hand rests on her knee. As he watches her laugh at a joke he made, he realizes that to the dinner table or to the North Pole, he’d follow her anywhere.

.

.

.

lil sneak peek into Jack’s life before Y/N 👀

ALSO HI FROM DISNEYLAND!!! I’m here all day today so peep those picture I’ll be posting!

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Americans and to all of my followers and readers, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR ALL OF YOU!!! ❤️❤️❤️

tagging: @albionscastle

#Jack Lowden #Jack Lowden AU

[chokemetildeath]

A lot of questions to fill up my ask box

1: Full name - /

2: Zodiac sign - Scorpion

3: 3 Fears - Height, Dark rooms, Foxes

4: 3 things I love - Rain, Schoolgrades, Starbucks

5: 4 turns on - good smell, sweaters, pretty eyes, intelligence

6: 4 turns off - bad teeth, bad smell, childishness, unreliability

7: My best friend - @sklavin-der-schattenwelten

8: Sexual orientation - i don’t believe that everyone has one specific sexual orientation 

9: My best first date - /

10: How tall am I - 1,69 cm

11: What do I miss - closeness

12: What time were I born - 1 pm 

13: Favourite color - grey

14: Do I have a crush - Yes

15: Favourite quote - idk

16: Favourite place - New York / Rochester in Autumn

17: Favourite food - white rice with Chicken fricassee, Pasta with brokkoli

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, i think so

19: What am I listening to right now - @lemmingbird‘s voice

20: First thing I notice in new person - hair or eyes

21: Shoe size - 38,5

22: Eye color - green

23: Hair color - blonde

24: Favourite style of clothing - alternative

25: Ever done a prank call? - yes

26: What colour of underwear I'm wearing now? - dark green

27: Meaning behind my URL - nothing special

28: Favourite movie - I guess the old Lol Movie or La Boum

29: Favourite song - Gum - Moose Blood

30: Favourite band - idk

31: How I feel right now - pretty good & chill

32: Someone I love - My Mum

33: My current relationship status - single

34: My relationship with my parents - pretty good

35: Favourite holiday - Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing i have - /

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - Maybe a little cat silhouette

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - I think a friend in 6th grade made me join

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - No

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - Just in conversation

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - Nein

42: When did I last hold hands? - last autumn

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - ~25 minutes

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? -  No

45: Where am I right now? - In my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - idk

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - reasonable level

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - Yes

49: Am I excited for anything? - Yes, gamescom and the Maeckes concert

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - Yes

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - Not often

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - 2 weeks ago

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - i don’t care

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - probably

55: What is something I disliked about today? - my panickiness

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Dove Cameron, @lemmingbird, @asumplicity, Janine

57: What do I think about most? - probably boys or how to be less socially awkward

58: What’s my strangest talent? - /

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - i am scared of foxes

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Depends, atm mostly in front of it

61: What was the last lie I told? - i don’t lie that often

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Just team speak or dicord

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - yes, both

64: Do I believe in magic? - no

65: Do I believe in luck? - yes

66: What's the weather like right now? - cloudy

67: What was the last book I've read? - To kill a mockingbird

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - yeees

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Imi, Kirschi

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - A jumped in a pool in egypt, hurt my knee and it had to be stiched with 6 stiches

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Depends, mostly save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? - Yes

74: Favourite animal? - cat

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - sleeping

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Idk?

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Yesterday - The Beatles

78: How can you win my heart? - make me truely trust you

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - idk, nothing special

80: What is my favorite word? - appreciate

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - @real @irgendwann-mal @heartbreakhur @rain-tea-coffee

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - Could you just stfu for a minute

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - No

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Invisibility 

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - i can’t think of one specific

86: What is my current desktop picture? - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAIGb1lfpBw

87: Had sex? - Yes, a lot

88: Bought condoms? - Yes

89: Gotten pregnant? - No

90: Failed a class? - Not really

91: Kissed a boy? - Yes

92: Kissed a girl? - Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - Yes

94: Had job? - No

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - No

97: Had sex in public? - No

98: Played on a sports team? -  Yes

99: Smoked weed? - Yes

100: Did drugs? - nothing special

101: Smoked cigarettes? - Yes

102: Drank alcohol? - Yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - No

104: Been overweight? - Yes

105: Been underweight? - Yes

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, a lot longer

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - probably as a kid

109: Been outside my home country? - Yes, a lot

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Hell yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - Yes

112: Broken a bone?  - Yes

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - No

115: Been in airplane? - Yes, a lot

116: Fly by helicopter? - Yes

117: What concerts have I been to? - The Pretty Reckless

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - Yes

119: Learned another language? - French, Englisch

120: Wore make up? - Every Day

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - Yes

122: Had oral sex? - Yes

123: Dyed my hair? - Yes

124: Voted in a presidential election? - No

125: Rode in an ambulance? - No

126: Had a surgery? - Yes

127: Met someone famous? - Yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - Yes, a lot

129: Peed outside? - Yes,of course

130: Been fishing? - Ya

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - Yes

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - Nothing actually

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? - Not sure, but I like the name Nick

136: Was I named after anyone? - My Cousin’s Name is Memke

137: Do I like my handwriting? - No

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? - My snowtiger plushie

139: Favourite Tv Show? - Grey’s Anatomy, PLL, Stranger Things, Gossip Girl

140: Where do I want to live when older? - Don’t have any plans

141: Play any musical instrument? - clarinette, posaune

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? - jumped into a pool in egypt

143: Favourite pizza toping? - Brokkoli, Bacon, feta cheese, spinach

144: Am I afraid of the dark? -  just in closed rooms

145: Am I afraid of heights? - YES

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? - Yes, when I was little and sick I ran away

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? - Yes, often

148: What I'm really bad at - social interactions, talking

149: What my greatest achievments are - /

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me - “Your haircolor shows what you got in your head” (I had blue hair)

151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery - tell no one, but probably spend a lot of it, probably traveling

152: What do I like about myself - My taste in cloth

153: My closest Tumblr friend - @sklavin-der-schattenwelten

154: Something I fantasise about - way too much, a lot of situations that’ll never happen

155: Any question you'd like - I’m not creative ohhhh

[theaterformen-blog]

Kein Urlaub ohne Frieden (MARE NOSTRUM)

—see English version below—

Die Lounge unserer Festival-Blog-Redaktion ist direkt neben der Eingangstür zum großen Saal im Schauspielhaus. Die Tür stand in den letzten Tagen immer offen.Seit Dienstag: Musik und Walgeräusche und Stimmen. Zwei Kolumbianerinnen standen dort in einer Projektion von Meer, mit Sonnenbrillen auf den Augen und sangen „Somewhere Over The Rainbow“. Unterdessen hielten wir unsere Redaktionssitzung ab: Jacqueline, Jawid, Million und ich. Million, der einen Arm immer in der Jackentasche hat und mit dem anderen, dem linken, Gedichte über den Krieg in seiner Heimat Eritrea schreibt. Jawid, der eine Frau hat und eine sechs Monate alte Tochter und der davon erzählt, dass er vor kurzem wegen einer Anhörung in Berlin war, wo sein Asylantrag abgelehnt wurde. Und wenn sein Anwalt das Urteil nicht kippen kann, fliegt Jawid umsonst zurück nach Afghanistan.

Ich musste an die Einführungsveranstaltung denken, in der dieser Kulturreferent (Harald Härke - Anm. d. R.) den Theaterformen-Geschäftsführer Malte Wegner auf die Bühne geholt hat, um zu sagen: „Hier, 320.000 Euro sind Ihrs.“ Und dann haben ihm alle zugeklatscht. So viel, sage ich mir jetzt, ist das eigentlich nicht, wenn man überlegt was eine Reise von Kolumbien nach New York kostet – nachdem man einen ehrlichen Schlepper gefunden hat. Das ist im Übrigen beinahe so viel ist, wie von Syrien nach Europa, heißt es im Stück: Zwischen 3000 und 7.500 Euro für ein Schlauchboot und die Weiterfahrt an Land. Das wäre richtig viel, dachte ich, für einen Urlaub.

MARE NOSTRUM und die Einführungsveranstaltung vorab präsentierten auch Zahlen und Fakten und Namen von Parteien, von linksradikalen Guerilla-Banden in Südamerika, die sich ursprünglich aus Bauern rekrutierten und nicht – wie fast überall sonst auf der Welt – aus der Riege der Intellektuellen und Studenten und Studentinnen. Mittlerweile arbeiten die aber mit den Drogenkartellen zusammen und verkaufen nicht den Kaffee, der 75 Cents bringt, sondern Koks, das 1 Dollar bringt. Da würde ich auch Koks verkaufen, dachte ich. Ich würde auch Kaffee kaufen, dachte ich, aber ich hatte in der Vorstellung mein Portemonaie nicht dabei. Ich hätte die Möglichkeit gehabt.

Kurz vor der Aufführung versuchten wir für Million noch ein englisch-sprachiges Booklet zu organisieren, waren aber zu spät dran und er sagte, er verstünde eigentlich alles. Nur deutsch sprechen möchte er noch nicht. Und ich dachte: Der hat also eigentlich auch keine Stimme. Aber dann doch, denn er schreibt Gedichte und die werden im Blog veröffentlicht. Und das ist ja schon ein Anfang.

Auch in MARE NOSTRUM arbeitet die Regisseurin und Autorin stark mit den persönlichen Erfahrungen der Schauspieler, hat sie mir später erzählt. Das Blog-Team war hinterher noch zum Essen eingeladen. Wir saßen im ersten Stock der Cumberlandschen Galerie an einem langen Tisch zusammen mit dem Team des Stücks. Die Götter haben mir eine zweite Chance gegeben, dachte ich. Halleluja. Die Fischsandwiches waren als erstes alle. Jacqueline erinnerte mich, dass ich (wegen des Stücks) keinen Fisch mehr essen wollte. Aber ich kaute schon auf einem Happen Lachs und dachte dabei nicht weiter an die angenagten Leichen, die überall auf der Welt an die Strände gespült werden. Ungefähr diesen Eindruck hatte die gesamte Inszenierung auf mich gemacht. Und ich dachte noch einmal: Danke für das Geld.

Gerade als ich meine zweiten Runde am Buffett machen wollte, traf ich mit Laura Uribe, der Autorin des Stücks, zusammen. Sie war gerade gekommen und folglich immer noch hungrig, aber ich hielt sie fest mit Fragen zum Thema Schreibprozess. Früher hätte sie versucht fiktional über Probleme zu schreiben. Aber das sei totaler Unsinn, sagte sie, weil es nie so echt, nie so intensiv sei wie autobiografisches Erzählen. Überhaupt beginne sie erst sehr spät zu schreiben. Zunächst bespricht sie die Themen mit den Schauspielerinnen und Schauspielern. Dann werden von ihnen Szenen in freier Assoziation gespielt, sodass die größtmögliche Emotionalität freigesetzt wird. Erst diese Eindrücke nehme sie mit nach Hause und schreibe anhand derer ihre Texte – leicht fiktionalisiert. So inszeniert sie schmerzhaft authentische Biografien im widersprüchlichen Kontext globaler Fluchtbewegungen und Kriege. Geht dort aber (gottseidank, dachte ich) noch weiter und stellt schließlich auch immer wieder die Frage nach der anthropologischen Finsternis in jedem von uns. Und spätestens da fängt es an, noch für den letzten Zyniker unangenehm und interessant zu werden. --

No Holiday Without Peace (MARE NOSTRUM)

The lounge of our festival blog editing team is right beside the entrance to the main auditorium of the Schauspielhaus. In the last few days, the door was always open. Since Tuesday: music and whale sounds and voices. Two Colombian women standing there in a projection of the sea, wearing sunglasses and singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. Meanwhile, we were holding our editors’ meeting: Jacqueline, Jawid, Million and I. Million, who always has one hand in his jacket pocket, while writing poems about the war in his home country, Eritrea, with his other, the left hand. Jawid, who has a wife and a six-month-old daughter, and who tells us about how he was just recently in Berlin for a hearing, where his asylum application has been rejected. And if his lawyer can’t reverse the verdict, Jawid will be flown back to Afghanistan for free. It made me think of the introductory talk, in which this man from the culture department (Harald Härke – editor’s note) called the Theaterformen managing director, Malte Wegner, onto the stage to say: “Here’s 320,000 Euro for you.” And then everyone applauded him. That’s not actually that much, I say to myself now, if you think about what a journey from Colombia to New York costs – after you’ve found an honest smuggler. It’s nearly the same price as coming to Europe from Syria by the way, as they say in the play: between 3000 and 7500 Euro for a rubber dinghy and the rest of the journey on land. That’s quite a lot, I thought, for a holiday. MARE NOSTRUM and the introduction before it present facts and figures and names of parties too, the names of radical left-wing guerrilla gangs in South America, who originally get recruited from poor peasants and not – like almost everywhere else in the world – from the company of intellectuals and students. But by now they work with the drug cartels and don’t sell the coffee that only makes 75 cents, but cocaine, which makes one dollar. I would sell coke too in that position, I thought. I’d buy coffee too, I thought, but I didn’t have my wallet with me at the show. I would have been able to though. Shortly, before the show, we tried to organise an English booklet for Million, but we were late and then he said he actually understands everything. He just doesn’t want to speak German yet. And I thought: so he basically doesn’t have a voice either. But then he does, because he’s writing poems and they’re being published on the blog. And that’s a start anyway. In MARE NOSTRUM too, the director and author also works closely with the actors’ personal experiences, she tells me later. The blog team was invited for dinner afterwards. We sat in the first storey of the Cumberlandschen Galerie at a long table with the play’s team. The gods have given me a second chance, I thought. Hallelujah. The fish sandwiches were the first to be finished. Jacqueline reminds me that I said I wouldn’t eat fish anymore (because of the play). But I was already chewing on a bit of salmon and wasn’t thinking about the nibbled corpses that get washed up on shores all over the world anymore. This is roughly the impression the entire production left with me. And again I thought: thanks for the money. Just as I was about to make my second round at the buffet, I met Laura Uribe, the author of the play. She had just arrived and so was still hungry, but I held onto her with questions about her writing process. She used to try to write fictionally about problems. But that’s total nonsense, she said, because it’s never as real, never as intense, as autobiographical stories. She only starts writing very late in general. First, she discusses the themes with the actors. Then scenes are freely and associatively acted out by them, so that the most intense emotions can be brought up. Only then does she take these impressions home and use them to write her texts – slightly fictionalised. In this way, she stages painfully authentic biographies in the contradictory context of the global movement of refugees and wars. But then (thank God, I thought), she goes further and ultimately again and again questions the anthropological darkness in each of us. Then, at the very latest, it starts to get uncomfortable and interesting for even the worst cynic. -- Text: Alexander Rudolfi Übersetzung: Bochert Translations (Anna Galt)

#theater #theaterformen #Festival #Festival theaterformen #theaterformen17 #hannover #stageblogger #Mare Nostrum #Laura uribe

[buffsquirrel]

70 Questions

got tagged by @monbeboo  (ur a bae ♡)

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? absolutely yes

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? guess I never really said it

3. do you regret anything? sure ^^

4. are you insecure? a lot

5. what’s your relationship status? imaginary boyfriend

6. how do you want to die? happy i guess

7. what did you last eat? noodles yay

8. played any sports? ballett, volleyball, tennis (+ basically up for any sports hell yes!)

9. do you bite your nails? which nails? HA!

10. when was your last physical fight? 8th-9th grade?

11. do you like someone? imaginary boyfriend 2.0

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? I might have

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? *inserts own name*

14. do you miss someone? imaginary boyfriend 3.0

15. have any pets? had...

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment? a bit tired, a bit bored

17. ever made out in the bathroom? lol nope

18. are you scared of spiders? no I’m fine

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Right now no, but if something happens in the future I might

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? in a dream (lol so sad help me I’m desperate) hi kihyun lol

21. what are your plans for this weekend? had my cousin come over, that’s it basically

22. do you want to have kids? how many? sure, 3 sounds nice

23. do you have piercings? how many? does a pair of earrings count?

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? P.E, Englisch

25. do you miss anyone from your past? ma bunnieees

26. what are you craving right now? LOVE (lol jk) but yes… basically

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart? YES *roflrofl*

28. have you ever been cheated on? no, I forbid it (is this the Kim Seokjin??)

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? yes, I’m a bad human

30. what’s irritating you right now? yoo kihyun (AAAAHAHAHA)

31. does somebody love you? might, might not

32. what is your favourite color? black, white, grey, pastel

33. do you have trust issues? jep I do indeed

34. who/what was your last dream about? last one I remember was about making out with Kihyun… I have no idea why though

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? my mooom *sobs* Mommy~

36. do you give out second chances too easily? I rarely give them

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? I really can’t, I’m unforgiving. It’s a scorpio trait ^^

38. is this year the best year of your life? might be the worst

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? kindergarten? elementary school?

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? lol nope (not yet ;))) )

51. favourite food? meat, pizza, gimme that fast food…. NUGGETS

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? no, but I believe in karma

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? thought about how my ideal Kdrama (featuring me ofc) would be like

54. is cheating ever okay? you really shouldn't

55. are you mean? sometimes

56. how many people have you fist fought? maybe 2?

57. do you believe in true love? I do actually

58. favourite weather? shady and cool

59. do you like the snow? I like winter in general

60. do you wanna get married? sure why not

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? it’s a bit cheesy I guess

62. what makes you happy? that I had a conversation with @monbeboo today, it is really nice to get to know you ^^

63. would you change your name? no, Janna is fine

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? I can’t tell since I don’t know who has been the person I last kissed lol

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? I’m a hoe for friends-to-lovers stories so…

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yes yes

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my daaad

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my mooom

69. do you believe in soulmates? i believe in jung hoseok and min yoongi (I will leave it at that, thanks @monbeboo for the great given answer, ur a genius)

70. is there anyone you would die for? too many people, I will die young…

gonna tag: @staerry-sky, @min-high, @katha-xo, @acelululala, @jiminiespinky, @kim-himchan, @tummynho

You can ignore this but it would be interesting to know more about you guys! ^^ Do it or ignore it.

#thanks for tagging me bae #personal #tagged #tag game #answered

[littlekatlizzy]

Rant about the most amazing people

Hello @missikowoman I’m choosing you as my first victim of this post since it’s your birthday today. (By the way, happy birthday) (again) I will just get straight to the point of this whole thing which is basically just me rambling about the stuff I love about you and if I don’t get to it now I’ll probabaly never finish but ANYWAYS: I love you. First things first, okay, I love you so much, holy shit alright I never guessed we would become so damn close because we were hating each other so much??? I love how a single mention of a videogame got us to the point we are at now and seriously I could never be any morehappier. You always say I’m the mom friend but then there’s you, the smol bitch that can roast anything and everyone in the blink of an eye, taking care of me like I was the child in the group. Whenever I’m feeling down you always seem to notice and immediately talk to me and try to cheer me up. When I’m sick you just randomly drop by only to fall asleep on my couch (yes I will forever remember this).We can talk about the naughtiest shit together and I never have to worry about you judging me and that is just something I’m so thankful for, regarding the shit we talked about. You give me advice. You didn’t even call me childish yesterday during the poweroutage where I almost started to cry. You’re the cutest DEAN or Wonho stan I know and whener you see Jungkook do some extra thing like he always does..I just love that dissapointed mom look you have on your face. I love how you love astrology. And that biology is pretty much your life is hella cute to me and I have no idea why, probably because you’re an adorable little nerd. I love your rage quits about your english teacher. I love how you aren’t ashamed to tell almost everyone that you’re kinda gay and that’s SO ADORABLE??? WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE??? I know it’s not much gayness but hey like I always say, you’re the cutest pan I know. (And the only one but AHEAM) Your addiction to Marvel is cute because it makes you even more of a nerd. AND THEN THIS CACTUS ADDICTION LIKE I CAN’T EVEN HAVE ALL CACTUS IN THE WORLD PLEASE! Oh and, yes. You ARE a makeup queen. You slay. You slay me. You slay @mermaiqprincess , you slay life. I love you.

Now to @mermaiqprincess yes hi okay this is awkward. We were best friends for around four years. Had a huge ass fight. Didn’t really talk for..4-5 years? But wow. Okay. We’re finding each other again. I’m still flashed by this, seriously. Please forgive me for not saying a lot about you. But I can happily and honestly say that you are fucking amazing. A cutiepie. Yes, you’re thin. You always were. But I still think you’re fucking beautiful okay bitch you better remember this. We’re not fully back, this might take a while for us to do. But I’m so happy we talked things out and that we’re talking again because it really hurt not to talk to you. Sweetheart, I love you, yeah? And I want to thank you for the amazing shit we’ve been through. And that even though we’re still at the beginning, you’re also trying to cheer me up no matter what. I love you. Thank you. You’re amazing.

@littlxravxn yes hello there. My baddest bitch out there. Fuck I love you. I know we fight a lot. I hate myself for every fight I had with you. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I honestly sometimes think I dont deserve to be friends with such an amazing being like you. You’ve always been my rolemodel. In everyway. You’re so amazing at art. Skilled in english. You can sing so well. You have an amazing style. You slay at makeup. I know this is childish. But I’m always just so envious of you. You’ve gone through a lot of shit that you didn’t deserve. I wish I could have helped you. I wish I could have been a better friend during these times. I wish I would be able to let you feel the love you deserve, because it’s so much more than what I can give you. I know you’re probably wondering why I’m not answering you on whatsapp right now, but I hope once you see this you will know why. I want to thank you. I want to thank you for always taking care of me. For being able to cheer me up in ways that others don’t even think of. I want to thank you for bearing with me when I’m just rambling about stupid bullshit and probably annoy the hell out of you. I want to thank you for coming over, although you have to go such a long way. I don’t do this. And I feel awful about that. I don’t deserve you. I want to thank you for almost 8 years of being my best friend. Thank you for those times we drove away together during vacation. Thank you for falling asleep against the car seat and waking up witht the marks on your face and making me laugh. Thank you for letting me be an annoying clingy little shit, even when it get’s on your nerves. Thank you for brightening up my days. Gosh I’m about to cry right now, I just really love you so much and I hope you know this. I can’t imagine living without you anymore. You’re my sister now. I don’t want to let go of you ever in my whole life. I love you. I can’t say it enough how much I love you. You just mean so much to me and I really,really,really hope that I will be able to help you go through the future. I want to travel the world with you, like you wanted. We’ll do this together, okay? You and I. Maybe the other two girls come along as well. I just want to be close to you. I want to assure you that you mean the world to me. Lexy I really love you. My best friend and sister, I will love and worship you forever. I will always be your little clingy koala. For as long as you want me to. I love you.

Aheam, now that I’ve stopped crying..(I had to wait 5 minutes to calm down)…let’s continue with you @lazyspida Ah, yes, the bias hoe. You’re crazy, You’re good at everything. You’re so fucking smart???? How??? Teach me your ways?? Okay but like..you’ve been my best friend since seventh grade. I think I just got out of therapy at that time right? When we thought everything was over and then had that one person to fuck us up completely. Honestly, I’m still not over it. I’m amazed by your existance. You look so cool on the outside. Back then I literally thought you had no feelings? Like all you ever did was either keep a poker face or smile when talking about spongebob. I remember the time we watched that movie in german class and everyone was crying asthe sister died and you just sat in the back of the class and laughed. You’re amazing. I remember the first time I saw you cry. I thought the world was about to end. I never saw you cry. I was so fucking worried, you have no idea. I remember the latest time I saw you cry. Las year on your birthday. The surprise party we planned. You’re our baby, and the fact that you didn’t know what to do just kind of upset me. You kept talking about wanting to go out and eat but your parents wouldn’t agree..Well… you know what happened. When we were standing in front of the restaurant and took off your blindfolf..it was obvious that you didn’t really understand what was happening. But gosh, I swear, that moment you started crying inside the restaurant, I cried too. I know they were happy tears but whenever I see you cry my world just breaks into pieces (hi @missikowoman ) and I feel like I did something wrong. I’m still blaming myself for the thing you told us in the café. I swear, I didn’t mean it. Please, the next time this happens just slap me across the face. I love you so much baby I would never do this on purpose. Yes, I admit, sometimes when we meet up I leave the room for a minute or two because it’s so loud. But I love you. I would never want to end this friendship. You mean so much to me. I promise to never hurt you like this again. And if I do, you may hurt me worse. I’ll sign a contract for this. I love you Spida, don’t forget that.

We’re almost at an end. Phew.

@bts-exo-seouls . Yup. It’s you my dear. I’m a bit fucked right now. I don’t know where to start. Okay so first of all, wow. Did I already tell you how much I love the way we met? Because, damn, I really love the way we met. We should have met sooner though. Way sooner. Will you still be able to get a hotel in Germany for this year? I hope so. Oh tell your dad I said hi. Now then..aheam. Yes. Sam. Sameeksha. God your name is so cute. I’ve been practicing the pronouncing. I think I’m getting there. Sammie, the one who knows how to kill me the best. I’m so amazed by you. Wow. You’re a pro at editing, writing, make up on point. Your english is PERFECT, just saying. I feel like a noob. I loved our valentines date. You got so flustered, it was adorable. I’m still trying to fix my camera, but I’m getting there. I’m already planning so many different things to pay you back for killing me. Just wait for your birthday. Just wait. OH and please send me your adress so that I can start working on that package aye. Sam, you’re my baby. Yes, I know, it’s just a few months. But I stil love you and want to protect you. You’re a mom frined. You definitely are. You give such great advice. I’m so proud of you. Sam, I love you. Sameeksha, मैं तुमसे प्यार करता हूँ (I hope this was right, if not blame google)

@littledinox Hi there sweetheart. Mal im Ernst ich wusste nicht ob ich auf Deutsch oder Englisch schreiben sollte aber hey, du siehst was daraus entstanden ist. Junge, du bist korrekt. Möchte ich jetzt mal ganz klar machen, okay? Du bist verdammt geil. Bist du sicher dass du später Koch werden willst? Ich meine, die Sache mit dem Reis…ne kleiner Scherz. Eigentlich wollte ich auf deine stories hinaus. Ich muss ehrlich sagen, dass deine Kapitel kurz gestaltet sind, aber ich weiß auch dass es schwer ist bei so etwas viel zu schreiben. In diesem Moment drehe ich halb durch weil ich befürchte bei dir steht am Ende zu wening. Was ich aber eigentlich sagen wollte ist, dass ich übelst stolz auf dich bin. Dass du dich dazu entschieden hast, dass du dich getraut hast mir zu erzählen was in dir vorgeht. Mir von deinem Erknenntniss zu erzählen. Ich möchte ganz ehrlich sein, ich will dass du weißt dass du immer auf mich zählen kannst. Wie in deiner Geschichte. Ich bringe dir auch Decke und Kissen in die Tiefgarage wenn du sie brauchst ;) Mein Freund, ich bin stolz auf dich. Ich hab dich lieb. Und ich hoffe dass du immer so bleibst wie du bist.

So yeah I’m kinda sorry to everyone who reads this because this is really just me being sentimental but I hope that the people on here know now how much I appreciate them and how much I love them.

I love you all

#personal #rant #admin post