#i don't have a good relationship with her so I'm trying to be empathetic but it's tough

[imreallyloveleee]

bit of an update on me in the tags if you're interested

#i am in.... Pennsylvania 😑 #my mother in law is not doing very well health wise so we flew from laos to singapore to dc over the last 48ish hours #we're flying back to the philippines in march to continue our trip thankfully #but it is a bummer #i don't have a good relationship with her so I'm trying to be empathetic but it's tough #anyway...i'll probably be posting more nonsense on here for the next few weeks lol #in the meantime i'm laying on a very comfortable bed and it's really playing with fire because im incredibly jetlagged #the one upside to this is we're staying in my parents house while they're down in Florida the whole time #and i forgot how stupidly huge and luxurious it is lol #their bathroom floor is heated like what the fuck guys

[damianwaynerocks]

the funniest thing about the batfamily is that they're so smart but they all have zero introspection skills.

the batfamily is smart. so smart. and they deal with the mentally ill population all the time. and most of the time they treat them good! they help them!

i find it absolutely impossible that bruce isn't educated on psychology. there's no way he isn't. no way he hasn't studied psychology, whether it was to understand the joker or any other villains, whether it was to learn how to instill fear, practice for going undercover, hostage negotiation, how to tell the difference between mental health issues and just violent criminals (because he wouldn't know which ones he could talk sense into without understanding why they were doing it), whether it was to learn better methods of interrogation, or even just an interest in how the brain works.

and i guarantee most of the other batkids are too. bruce had to have taught them that so they could learn how to go undercover or how to tell whenever violence is necessary or if you can just talk them down.

dick has a law degree, which means he had to do undergrad. i think it's insane to think that he wouldn't have taken a psychology class. he also was able to understand damian and how to handle him, and he wouldn't be able to do that if he wasn't aware of how his upbringing would've shaped his neural pathways.

tim has a genius level iq. no way he doesn't understand how the brain works. also, he was able to tell that bruce was in a terrible mental state just by observing him as batman, where bruce does everything in his power to hide his emotions. he's also, several times, shown to be one of the only if the not the only batfamily member to understand why jason acts the way he does.

damian likely isn't terribly empathetic to mental health issues. probably a little more now, but not very. but like. he might not be empathetic to it but there's no way he doesn't understand how it works. how the frontal lobe works. how the amygdala works. how to manipulate someone.

stephanie was in college, and just like i said with dick, i find it hard to believe she wouldn't have taken a psychology class.

cass is cass. enough said.

also!! they all have a pretty good relationship with leslia thompkins!! a psychologist!!

all this to say: how on God's green earth do none of them realize they need therapy.

and like i get why. bruce has suppressed his emotions so much that he genuinely think he's fine. dick is too focused on being a support for everyone to worry about himself. jason and stephanie push it all down. cass, and this is not a diss because i love her, would realistically be very emotionally stunted. damian wasn't raised to be empathetic to the mentally ill and even if he was, he's 15. his frontal lobe is so not developed. plus the trauma they've all endured? the training they've had from bruce, who probably wasn't that concerned about teaching them self care and most definitely taught them to put their emotions aside. so like i get it. but also.

they know all this stuff and??? don't for a single second (except for tim that one time) be like "hmmm i could benefit from CBT and EMDR"

except duke.

how is duke the only one who's like "yeah. you guys aren't okay." duke knows. he tries to reason with them and has several times been like "you guys are crazy. why are you chill with this."

which is all to say. i'm convinced that at some point duke is going to try to sit them all down and be like "you guys need therapy. please go to therapy. I'm begging you."

#i know that the whole “duke is the voice of reason” is kinda more fanon than anything bc he has to be crazy too to be a vigilante #but im convinced he's self aware of it #and is like wow #you guys are #so traumatized #batfamily #batfam #dick grayson #nightwing #damian wayne #robin #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin

[tumb1rprincess]

Okay, I just binged the rest of the Hazbin Hotel episodes.

Carmilla and Zestial are hot. And Carmilla is so interesting. I loved her and Vaggie's song. I actually didn't expect them to reveal who killed the angel so quickly. But I love how they're showing that even some of the top overlords in Hell care. The only question now is what Alastor is going to do with this information.

I love Vox. He has a great voice and his rivalry with Alastor is hilarious.

Sir Pentious is such a fucking loser and I adore him.

Nifty almost reminds me of Little My from the Moomins with her little gremlin energy. I don't know if we'll get any serious moments with her like we have with the other characters, but I guess we'll see.

I love how Alastor's room is a literal bayou/swamp. And him eating the whole fucking deer was hilarious.

I didn't expect for some of the others to find out about Angel and Val's toxic relationship so quickly, but I did like how it showed an uncommon angle: how trying to save someone from an abusive relationship can make things worse for the victim. I can't think of any other media off the top of my head that shows that kind of thing. But with Charlie and Husker knowing about this (and Cherri Bomb if we're counting Addict as canon), how long before everyone else finds out? And what are their reactions going to be?

I haven't been the biggest Angel/Husker shipper, but holy hell, am I on board now. Husker once being an overlord and pretty much implying that he sold his soul to Alastor much like how Angel did with Val was a development I didn't expect, as well as drawing parallels between his addiction to gambling and Angel's addiction to drugs. Hell, I really didn't except this angle they took with Husker. We only saw his bitter attitude in the pilot, and we still get plenty of that here, but I didn't expect him to also be a good people reader and being able to see how the other characters really are and what they're hiding. He's almost empathetic in a way.

All of the songs are fucking bangers, Poison especially. I listened to it once before the show and I liked it okay, but seeing it in context, it hits you ten times harder. I almost cried.

The show is so good at making the viewer feel so uncomfortable with how Val treats Angel, it's almost too hard to watch. I've seen shows tackle abuse before and they've done it well, but this was very raw and in your face and it makes your insides twist. And I love it.

Looking at the show's cast, Vivzi got so many people with Broadway experience and I love that. I feel like a lot of popular media nowadays just like to cast popular actors regardless of whether they can actually sing or not (I'm looking at you live action Disney remakes). But every actor who's sung so far is fucking good at it and it shows.

So far, I am in love, love, love with this show. I remember first watching the pilot when it was causing some controversy and I fell in love with it immediately. It almost became a comfort thing for me for a while. I was watching it over and over during 2020 when Covid was running rampant and everything was shit. I'm so proud of Vivzie and everyone else for their hard work and dedication and love. This show is so different from everything else out there. I hope now that it's out, even more people can fall in love with it.

#spoilers #carmilla #zestial #vaggie #alastor #vox #sir pentious #nifty #angel dust #valentino #charlie morningstar #husker #cherri bomb #vivziepop #hazbin hotel

[demaparbat-hp]

the audacity you literally have to make a GENOCIDE SURVIVOR (whose entire culture was decimated by the fire nation) proudly work for the imperial fire nation army in some fuckass au? zutara shippers are never beating the colonial apologism allegations.

Woah, okay, I wasn't expecting this. I'm a firm believer that people should, first and foremost, treat each other on the basis of respect, so I'll do my best to explain this to you, clearly, and with the benefit of the doubt in mind, okay? I'm a nice person like that.

First of all, I'm working under the assumption that you haven't read these posts, and thus don't have all the information I've shared about the AU. I've been as clear about this subject as I can be, especially in my replies but, for the sake of fairness, I'll say it once again again:

I do not condone nor find it moraly correct to justify a victim of war joining the side of the ones responsible for her people's genocide.

I try to view this AU, and war in general, through a mature, realistic lense. Turning Katara into a victim with glorified Stockholm Syndrome isn't really my style. It's honestly insulting and deeply disturbing for me, as a creator, a woman of color born in a country that has a very, very long history of colonialism, and an empathetic human being, that anyone would believe me capable of thinking like that.

That being said, I know I really shouldn't, but would you like me to give you a step by step response?

(...) proudly work for the imperial fire nation army (...)

Okay, like I said before, I'm going to assume you saw only the artwork, didn't read either the tags or the two separate, in depth posts about the characterization and plot in this AU I made literally twenty four hours ago, and drew your own conclusions instead.

First of all: Katara doesn't proudly work for the Fire Nation army. That's her cover, as it is Zuko's. She joined Zuko and his crew, all traitors to the throne and good, honourable people, under the pretense of hunting the Avatar. Truly, they're destroying the Fire Nation military from within. And are, most definitely, not proud soldiers of the Fire Lord.

Katara hates the Fire Nation. But if joining a Fire Nation crew is what she needs to do to end the war, she will do it.

And, honestly, these are not excuses. But context is important, and it's not healthy to draw conclusions from the title instead of actually reading the book, if you know what I mean. It could get you in trouble some day.

And, please, I'm begging you—this has been talked about a lot, and I don't really like drama all that much, so I won't even rise to the accusations of condoning a non consented, colonialist and abuse apologist relationship.

That's just rude.

#dema answers #zutara #hunters au #I apologize if I ever insulted anyone with this AU that I've stitched together painfully and lovingly in long weeks of my time. #I probably came across as rude once or twice in this... #I try to be patient and understanding but sometimes you just have to swallow your moral superiority and go for the kill I guess #I hold no resentment towards Anon. I truly don't. #It's this whole situation that infuriates me #But it's okay #I've got experience dealing with stuff like this irl #So expect an artwork about this very same AU soon #I owe it to myself

[galesdevoteewife]

Some thoughts on Act 3 cutscene, endings and the line “To know you love me for the man I am"

[ Gale romance spoiler all the way to the epilogue ]

In my vanilla playthrough, the particular act 3 cutscene dialogue which Gale wanted the crown caught me off guard. It was one of the rare bg3 moments that stirred complicated feelings within me. (to a point I was considering maybe I should romance Emperor lmao) The structure of his proposal felt thoroughly planned and scripted. Every question I raised was met with a well prepared answer.

Too ambitious? It's not for myself; it's for us, for the greater good. Too dangerous? What have we done that wasn't risky? We're up to the task! Power corrupts? Just a means to an end. I’ll still be me, just an improved version. Now I only need a kiss.

I viewed it from the perspective of him hard-selling the player a difficult decision, and the entire conversation felt strategic. Topping it off with the famous line, “With you, I forget my goddess. I love you.” Such a powerful, attention-grabbing statement delivered with utmost sincerity. It's likely that the player would remember only this line, also making it more difficult to reject him. While I don't doubt his love for them, his motives were a question to me.

One of the things that makes Gale's darker path unique is that everything looks beautiful—voyage through the galaxy, kissing lovers, his voice, so tender and sincere. There's no eerie light, no violence, no bloodshed.

Some thoughts on his true intention and how insecurity is the must-solve in Gale's romance arc

In my opinion Gale’s main emotional knot in relationship is the insecurities he harbors. He holds a logic that he is loved (or tolerated) because of his power. Gale Dekarios wanted to be seen and loved but he "holds a poor figure next to Gale of Waterdeep". While there are exceptions like Tara, his mother, and perhaps Elminster, who love him for who he is; it's not his default to believe that people would appreciate him without his power/achievement/service.

With that in mind and let's circle back to why he wants godhood.

If the player reject him in the boat scene, his instant reaction is: “But I could be so much more to you.” If they reject godGale: “I achieved everything we hoped I would, and still I'm not good enough for you?” –Not a word about the better world. I wasn’t convinced he wanted the godhood “for the betterment of all”.

Instead, what he truly wants is the player’s heart... and I think he believes that obtaining the crown and godhood can win them over. Awkwardly, he would need their help to get rid of the elder brain and he is trying hard to convince them.

Some argue that godGale quickly transforms into the type of passive deity he despised, but I hold my opinion on how deeply he cares about the world in the first place. True, he could sacrifice himself to save the day, but he always says "it's the right way/fate" with nothing empathetic for the general folks. I am suspicious that he says it to dismiss the player's concern.

A bit of addition to this theory. Seeking godhood is not a new ambition for him, according to Elminster's epilogue letter. In my canon, he desired it for Mystra if not for the player, attempting to draw closer to her as an equal.

Gale, the god of ambition

Ascending without resolving inner conflicts is like thrusting a dagger into redemption Durge's hands, potentially exacerbating the situation. The ascension path strengthens this twisted logic. Looking at the godGale romance ending cutscene, he gets to dress the player in matching outfits, hold them in his arms, in his realm, in his symbol. They are finally his, and he would believe it’s the power that made it happen.

However, this would lead down to a never ending thorny path with an insatiable hunger. As a god of ambition, it's in his nature to desire more, continually pursuing additional power because it's a viable all-purpose solution in his mind. He will work his way up to the god rank, might even consume a few, "bringing chaos that even trembles the heavens" —according to Raphael. And guess what? In the dnd universe, there are even superior beings above AO.

Nonetheless I hold hopes and optimism towards the godGale romance. I don’t see anything stopping the player from starting to make things better and nudging him into better use of his godhood. Ambition is not necessarily a bad thing. However, at the point where the game ends, this path is a dimmer one.

Some thoughts on the line: “To know you love me for the man I am, and not the magic I command... None have loved me so purely before.”

When I first saw this line and my tav reacted with a sad face I thought she was thinking “Huh? But i love you for your magic too??” xD

It just doesn’t make sense if he is drawing a conclusion that the player would love him for a 0 magic muggle Gale. He is a wizard. His alliance with the player was built on him contributing to their journey with his magical ability, and their romance was sparked by a shared moment through the weave.

My interpretation is that what he meant by “the magic I command” was referring to the mighty power he used to possess, and “the man I am” was everything he showed you—his love for magic, nerdy side, witty jokes, cooking… things that he thinks define who he truly is. In my canon, he probably went through a long period where his title/talent was all that mattered to people, for his portfolio was way too strong (if I read my dnd materials right, lorewise he could be a legendary character even. I will make a post once I put my findings together). The Chosen of Mystra (among the 22 known chosen in more than a thousand years, some of them are even Mystra’s daughters), the prodigy archmage with the gift to conduct the weave. He could have experienced hurt multiple times as people showed little interest in his personality, then he fell back to conceal Gale Dekarios behind the Gale of Waterdeep fortress. However, this consequently blocked him from building real friendships/relationships.

His circle is small, yet I suspect it's partly because he wouldn't let people come close enough to see Gale Dekarios. Even in Act 3, he still wants to keep it between the player and himself. At the beginning of the journey, he denied the player's attempts to know anything other than his profession. If the player is a wizard, he would even play authority and "apprentice" them. By the by, here's an interesting reading about how he might be masking.

Professor Dekarios of Illusory school

Lastly, my favorite path for Gale! Ugh, it just melts me to see him smile that wayyy (How can Tim and the team be so genius and make the expression distinctive???? I mean, he has been smiling all the time, but especially sweet in the epilogue???) He is content. He knows he doesn't need the mask, nor power, or godhood for the player and him to be each other's. From my point of view, it's an arc of self-acceptance and unknotting. He is convinced power isn't everything, and he chooses to teach illusory magic (gotta admit, destruction-force wise it’s almost a harmless school) for he is the one who wants magic for realizing imagination and the one who shed tears over burned roses.

The path in which Gale Dekarios believes that he is seen, understood, loved, and finds peace. Nothing I would like him to have more. I hold true love for this fictional 3D man *wipe away joyful tears*

Sidenote [1]: Some hate Gale for thinking he's only “pretending”. I personally think he is a well-layered character, for there are so many ways to explain him and plenty of room for ambiguity, making it fun to think about his thinking.

Sidenote [2]: I inevitably project some of myself onto him. The concept of “you don’t need to try so hard, pretending to be someone else to be accepted by the world. you only need to find the right band.” is a kind thought that’s so cozy to me.

#baldur's gate 3 #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #gale romance #bg3 spoilers #bg3 gale #bg3 act 3 spoilers #bg3 epilogue spoilers #bg3 datamine #And NO bombing him is not even an existing option for me #Galeology #not fixing but loving

[liminalpebble]

Today I defended a boundary with a "friend" who had treated me badly (if you all remember, this is the one who ruined my birthday).

(This is just personal rambling, so feel free to ignore if you prefer to or need to for yourself. I get it and understand 💜).

She confronted me to chew me out for barely engaging with her or this friend group for the last six months, but I didn't apologize. Frankly, I think I'm right not to, and I think I owe them nothing. They did not treat me well, and I deserve not to be put in a position to be hurt and used up again. Also, I was otherwise busy with living my life, trying to do good work, handling my own shit, and trying not to make my problems anyone else's.

I explained simply and clearly that I don't have the empathetic bandwidth to take care of anyone else right now because my own shit has been, honestly, really difficult. Even so, I'm not putting my problems on anyone, nor am I taking on anyone else's. I can't right now. It's that simple. I wasn't mean. (I think I would have had the right to be, but I wanted to take the high road).

She told me I'm being selfish and acting as if I'm the only one with problems...selfish for not centering her and everyone (which is what they were used to). She told me she doesn't tolerate one-sided relationships. I didn't say it, but all I could think was "you didn't mind it the whole time I was the only one giving."

Anyway, this feels so weird because I'm feeling that shitty uncomfortable fight or flight response from this...but weirdly...not the self-inflicted guilt...(maybe a little guilt for not feeling guilty?) I dunno. I don't know what to do with this feeling. There's anger there, too. Anger that she's misrepresenting events, anger that she's trying to shame and manipulate me. I've never known what to do with anger.

I just wanted to get it off my chest, and to let you all know that I finally stopped being a doormat. Thank you for believing I had it in me. I took it to heart @roach-pizza ❤️ and all of you who encouraged me to stand up for myself. And thank you for listening to me now. It means so much that you all had my back, especially you my irl homegirl (you know who you are ❤️‍🔥)

@sweetsigyn @gigglingtiggerv2 @goblingirlsarah @littlespaceyelf @loz-3 @jennyggggrrr @coldnique @acidcasualties @mochie85 @muddyorbs @smolvenger @ladyofthestayingpower @leelei1980 @hellfirenacht @unfocused81 @loopsisloops @azula-karai-27 @glitchquake @lemongingerart @elegantkoalapaper @alexakeyloveloki @veemoon @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl

#peb's thoughts #personal rant #peb's rambling #lovely mutuals #lovely fanfic friends

[jesncin]

Do you have any favorite books or comics that you'd recommend?

Superhero comics or in general? I'll go in general, haha:

Our Dreams At Dusk by Yuhki Kamatani

This is the book series I'm most obnoxiously recommending people. It's influenced me ever since, Lunar Boy is a direct homage to this short series in many ways. It talks about the lived realities of being queer and Japanese in Japan- the queerphobia, the mental health struggles, the relationships (romantic and platonic) in an in depth way. It opened my eyes to what the queer narrative can be, and I'm forever grateful for it. This story is so good it actively ruins all other queer media for me, haha.

Superman Smashes the Klan by Gene Yang and Gurihiru

This is the book I most successfully recommend to people. What can I say that I haven't said many times before? A reimagining of the classic Klan of the Fiery Cross arc from the classic Superman radio show, empathetically revitalized. A story that actually acknowledges and understands Superman as a direct immigrant allegory?? Where he relates to a Chinese American family being targeted by the Klan?? I love it, and many people have picked up how I'm influenced by it! You don't need to know anything about Superman or his lore, this is a very accessible story for newbies. If you want to know why I love Superman, this is it. This story is so good it actively ruins all other Superman media for me, haha.

Salt Magic by Hope Larson and Rebecca Mock

One of my recent all time favorite graphic novels!! This story is everything I love about fairytales perfectly told in the graphic novel format. When a mysterious woman curses a family farm by turning their water supply into entirely undrinkable salt water- Vonceil must embark on an adventure to uplift the curse that hangs over her family history. Also Rebecca Mock's art is INCREDIBLE.

Homunculus by Joe Sparrow

Shortbox, the publisher for this comic, is retiring soon so order this book now! Or any books from them that you fancy (discount code here)! From the indie scene, Homunculus is a beloved short comic about a machine with growing sentience witnessing the end of the world, and what comes after. The style is lovely and the story is deceptively simple! It's heartbreaking by the end.

Berrybrook Middle School Series (Awkward, Brave, Crush, Enemies) by Svetlana Chmakova

This series is the reason I wanted to make middle grade graphic novels, and is in my humble opinion- the best in the business. Each story is self contained, with a cast of recurring characters that all go to Berrybrook middle school. It covers a wide variety of young experiences in an empathetic way that doesn't feel like you're being talked down to. It's a book series that nurtures the children it's for. I cried reading Brave, and Crush is such an important book that I'm ecstatic that kids get to read.

The Weight Of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf

If you liked my Who Is Superman: A Private Interview with Lois Lane comic and want to learn more about the historical context behind it- I recommend The Weight Of Our Sky by Hanna Alkaf. It doesn't cover the same history (this book is about the 1969 race riots in Malaysia), but it's such an eerily similar incident that I felt myself reflected in it. Hanna is an incredibly vivid writer, and she handles so many topics with sensitive care. She highlights that historical events like this need to be remembered, and how fictional stories can breathe new life into an increasingly forgotten history. Also Hanna is so nice.

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (original idea by Siobhan Dowd)

One of my all time favorite novels, with hauntingly beautiful mixed media illustrations by Jim Kay. I love how this book covers grief in such a messy and fantastical way- showing how its young protagonist has larger than life feelings he's trying to contain from the looming eventual death of his mom's illness. This book is special because it was conceived originally by Siobhan Dowd as she was going through terminal cancer, in collaboration with her editor and Ness. It feels like an intimate experience, and this heavy feeling of grief carries the whole book in a memorable way.

Those are my fav books off the top of my head! Happy reading :>

#askjesncin #booklr #longish post #i miss having time to read novels i should do that again before work piles up #[proceeds to read cape comics instead]

[caseylicious]

Hello again! Hope that you’re having a great day! If it’s alright with you, can I request another rise!donnie x gn!reader where Donnie is such a simp for reader?

Like Leo would tease him about it but he would deny it because of his “bad boy” image. But then reader enters the lair and Donnie is just 💜w💜.

Thank you!!!

Simp.

Summary: Donnie being a simp (more of swooning) for the reader.

Character: Donnie.

Reader: GENDER NEUTRAL

Relationship: CRUSH

Warnings: Leo and Donnie having this whole on sibling moment, but that doesn't affect the silly teasing that'll happen-

Words: 3312

Tags: @ath3nasc4f3 , @anxietyishere

A/N: My dear, there is no problem with requesting another time! Your requests place a smile on my face. I'm in love yet so hesitant with this one- because I don't want it to be to remind anybody of 2012!Donnie being whole on OBSESSED for April. With some serious thought, This is Part 2 of the Mad Scientist!Reader piece. (Read for context)

The story may be a bit wack... but im trying so hard to juice my brain for plot. (currently in writer's block.) As well of trying to follow the basic idea of your request, but overall I like this piece a lot! A few things first! I see Leo and Donnie as TWIN BROTHERS. There's just a lot that heavily implies it in my opinion! and I just imagined that one scene from Aladdin with him just swooning for Jasmine. You get me? Yeah.

I love your ideas. Come around again < 3

As always! Please, Enjoy 💐

[ If you have any constructive criticism or corrections for any of my English do let me know! :) ]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

Waving the brothers goodbye from your introduction, you began climbing up the manhole with April. To your surprise, you've gotten along quite well with each one of them. Even with your "normal switch" off. You've noticed in your time with them that each one of them were different in their own way. Leo was cheery while funny person. Raph was a strong sharp, yet loveable and empathetic. Mikey was one of the loudest people you've met. And Donnie... Before you could continue with your analysis of the whole day you had. April spoke, "Well.. whatcha think man?" You thought for a second on what to say. "I need more context to that question O'Neil." She chuckled, "Of the whole meet and greet! You seemed to get along with most of them."

"Hmm.. I'd say it was a success." April's groan echoed through the sewer hole. "That means I liked them all; your friends." You assumed April grinned and was pleased, because you heard a pitter patter on the bar below you. That would've been the end of the conversation before April opened her mouth once more. "How about Donnie?" You suddenly stopped moving forwards. Which made April bump onto your calf. "What about Donatello?" She snickered. "Pfft- Opinion on Don? There's no way you'd forget him man."

A second of silence passed before you finally answered, "Well.. he's okay." An audible gasp could be heard. "What do you mean okay?! You talked about so much with him!" You looked away from the bar in front of you as she kept ranting. You enjoyed the turtle's presence, you truly did. He seemed to understand everything you were talking about. And it was one rare moment in your life where you kept up a conversation which you found interesting. However you somehow "knew" that he'd leave you like everybody else.

The foreign memory which you've tried to suppress began to play. How you ate all by yourself, which led to you staying in the abandoned science lab for most of your lunch. How you've practiced normal conversation in the mirror. Researching popular trends which you've tried copying to the point of creating an image of somebody you just weren't. It just all didn't click with you. For some reason, you just couldn't fit in with the crowd of your school. And it became the reason for the bad reputation you had.

Personally, you wouldn't blame him for leaving. Eventually he'd see how you were.. "weird." But... good always lifts from the bad. Would it be really a bad thing for him to notice you being "weird?' Hypothetically, if you tried hard enough to "fit in," you wouldn't have had a great time with the turtle. Ideas which you've suppressed wouldn't have been unleashed. And you would still be complaining about society being awful and needing a fix. A grin made itself onto you for a moment before you felt your head hit a flat surface. Adjusting your focus, you have found the manhole cover on top of you. You began to lift the object, moving it to the side. Hearing the metal fall, you then climbed onto the ground. Reaching a hand inside for April who was still ranting on how you and Donnie got along so well. "You understand though- Right, Y/N?" You blinked for a couple seconds before patting her back. "Yes. I agree completely. Let's put a pin on this discussion and come back to it. How about it?" She agreed walking down the street with you. Before the both of you separated due to her route being in a different location. Watching as April ran off, you sighed in relief.

You made your way back home, unable to stop thinking about that encounter you had. That special conversation which made you open up. Where you felt normal. But that's silly, right? Out of every logical and fictional existing thing in this universe, a turtle seemed to comprehend anything of what you said. Who was this "Donatello?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

💜 Donnie

Brzzt. Brzzrt. Brzzrt-

A hard slam landed on the device. It was around 6 in the morning and two tired eyes opened. The tired figure slowly sat up, stretching from side to side. A robotic yet humanoid voice spoke, "It's too early to wake up dad.." A chuckle could be heard. "Shelldon, you understand we have work to do. Acquire yourself some coffee and I'll get some bolts ready for you." As odd as that sounds, the purple drone swirled in a circle before exiting the room. It has been about exactly 4 months and 27 days since your introduction.

In those 4 months you both had been interacting with one another nonstop. Mainly on electronic email and/or text. It contained random ideas and topics which you both enjoyed immensely. He couldn't help but feel a genuine boost of optimism seeing your username and email. Especially on random facetime calls the two of you had. How you showed off your school AP textbooks to Donnie, and how Donnie showed off his battle shells explaining each function. And the best part? You listened and seemed to be genuinely interested in his work. It was strange, but he liked it. a lot.

Before he chose to finally get up, he waited for the hot coffee. Which arrived in the matter of seconds. Taking a sip, he let out a sigh of relief. "Ahh.. That's good." He whispered. The soft-shelled turtle walked over to his desk. Inspecting the blueprints in front of him, his eyes noticed a doodle in the corner of the sheet. Donnie groaned, while a smirk quickly formed. It was probably his younger brother Mikey. He was always one to enjoy doodling on his brother's stuff with or without permission. "Did Mikey touch my work?- I swear... alright, let's see what on earth he drew this time-" What Donnie saw made him shut up. Which was rare for somebody who seemed to love explaining everything he knew and believed in. But what did the young turtle see? No, it wasn't anything inappropriate. And no, it wasn't anything hateful. It was something quite far from any of those things...

It was your name traced over in the blue paper. With what seemed to be hearts surrounding it- and was that a cloud? Whatever the doodle was, he was speechless. Silence filled the room before suddenly he felt a cold hand on his shoulder. "Yo D what are you do-" Donnie quickly grabbed his screwdriver. "EAT LASERS INTRUDER!!-" His brother quickly raised his hands above his face, "Hey-! Chill- it's me Leo!" The purple turtle stared at his twin brother for a couple seconds. Before his face became red, flicking his forehead. Leo quickly whined in pain holding his forehead with one hand. "Scoff! Learn to knock next time brother. What are you even doing up this early?" Leo chuckled poking Donnie's plastron with his finger. "I should be asking you that... but you're always up early. So I won't ask!-" Donnie quickly wore his bandana, glaring a little at Leo. "That doesn't answer my question Nardo'."

"Woahh! Chill, chill. I just got up to the sound of Shelldon making coffee... anddd.. because we're-" For a few seconds, Donnie really hoped Leo had a different reason. "Please, don't say it."

"Because we're twin brothers Donnie~" His drawn-on brows furrowed together. "That isn't a proper reason." A grin formed on his brother's face, "Oh, but it is now! Anyways back to me." He paused. "What's that you're working on?" Donnie should've rejected Leo, he knew clearly it was a trap for some sort of teasing. However could he resist to explain one of his creations? No, he could not. "Well- if you insist. I'm working on a suitcase which can hide weaponry such as my staff. So next time we ever choose to go out in disguise, I won't be held back for a couple minutes for silly reasons such as "illegal weaponry" and-" Leo quickly snatched the blueprint out of his hand, "Hey!-" He browsed the paper for a couple seconds before aggressively pointing at the corner of the paper. "And thinking about Y/N! There's no way!!-"

His eyes widened- "Leo, could you at least lower down your voice!" Donnie watched as his brother giggled for a few minutes on the sight. He tried remembering when or why he chose to write your name multiple times on his own piece of work. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't. There was no collection of him daydreaming about you. As the laughter died down, his brother spoke. "So- what is this? You got a crush on them or something? Lord-"His cheeks flared up, blinking aggressively down to the floor. "Man! This is almost as bad as you and Atomic Lass! Ha! You and Y/N??" Expecting a snarky comeback, he was responded with only silence. Donnie glanced down. Looking away from Leo with shame, genuinely unsure on what to say or do.

Leo frowned, gently placing his hand on his shoulder letting him sit. "Uhm.. You don't gotta talk about it if you don't want to. I know how you are with stuff like this. My bad." He didn't respond, tension filled the room. "Errm..Want me to leave?" Donnie opened his mouth, but closed it. Trying to find the words. Leo waited for him to figure out what he wanted to say. "..N- no. It's fine, don't leave... I'm sorry just.." He took a quick sip of his coffee. "I don't really know if I do. Is i-.. is it okay to feel like this? I've never felt like this and-" He paused, not knowing what to say. "Well, yeah. It's okay to feel like this man! I'll listen if you really want to talk about them." Donnie blinked a couple times, staring at Leo in disbelief. He hasn't had a "heart-to-heart" moment like this with him in a long time. For obvious reasons. He slowly grinned with a nod.

"Well... Y/N- where do I begin. Oh okay.." Leo pulled out a stool, sitting on top of it. Donnie closed his eyes imagining one of the special calls he had with you. "Well, their hair. It's this color that just looks so nice in the dark and light. They have these eyes that just shine like gems found in the deepest caves of the world- and wow their voice. Their voice is a whole conducted symphony Leo..." His brother nodded his head, listening in. Surprisingly not making a comment. "Uh huh- and? What else? That can't be it." He placed his hands on his cheeks, trying to remember one of his favorite voice calls. "We like so many things- Our interests just match! It's as if the constellations aligned perfectly in one part of the world. They just know so much that I know- which is just so mesmerizing..." A short but long 'hmmm.' came out of Leo.

Donnie watched as his brother placed his own hand on his chin. "Well? What is it Nardo?' Leo empathized with his twin brother, mainly on how he spoke about you. He spoke as if you were a holy deity, a treasure, maybe even a blessing! He just seemed to understand how Donnie felt. Even if he wasn't a touchy feely sort of person. "You really like Y/N that much, huh?" Donnie nodded, covering the lower half of his face with his hand. "Well honestly, expect me to tease ya." Before Donnie could scold him, Leo spoke again. "But go for it. Nobody is stopping you from being with them. And I'll be cheering from afar."

Donnie hummed, glancing back at Leo. "..That's actually some smart advice Nardo... Thank you, brother." Leo smirked. "Getting soft on me Don?"

"Don't ruin it."

"Yeah, yeah- You're welcome! Chill!"

----------------

Bzzrt. Bzzrt. Bzzrt-

Your hand quickly grabbed the wire clippers, cutting the wire which was attached to the device. Opening one eye, you glanced to what you have cut. The purple wire. Your eye twitched realizing which wire your hand instinctively chose to cut, which frankly saved your life. again. "Ughh.. What genius am I, if I keep cutting that wire?"

Quickly, you got out of bed, slipping your slippers on. Making your way to your closet, the calendar on the wall of your room was marked. In bold red letters, "HANG OUT. 11:00 AM." That's right! You and your newly made friends made plans to hang out together. Excited as you were. You specifically were excited to share your ideas with one particular person of the group. Donnie.

Mentally you had to slap yourself. It was irritating how he always seemed to be on your mind. Just because he chose to listen to your thoughts? Please. It was almost humiliating how just of one person, you'd be this distracted. You suspected it was because how isolated you were. How you were the 'outsider.' Maybe because he seemed to know about titanium and uranium. Or maybe because he genuinely wanted to become your friend. Your hand reaching for a pen, making a repetitive clicking sound. "Pascal Triangle, prepare yourself to be solved."

You were a fan of mathematics. It being one of your favorite subjects in school. April knowing this information, usually asked you for answers. In which you've always responded, "Giving you the answers isn't going to help your education O'Neil!" "Urgh-! I hate it when you're right Y/N." The thought made you grin, until you looked back down to your paper. None of the pentagons had answers in them. "Wh- what? I thought I was answering these..." Needing reassurance, you flipped through all of the pages in your packet. Expectedly you answered them all. To the questions which required the most simplest distributive property, to having to identify graphs. You didn't seem to second-guess yourself, so you were confident in your work of elimination.

Just.. why now didn't you know what to write? You weren't one to be seriously invested in your grades. Surprising? Yes, however you more focused on whether you knew how to perform the work. Were grades going to help you in the long-run of your "world-domination?" No. They would not, but the Pascal Triangle really shouldn't be this confusing. You didn't want to admit it, but you needed another pair of eyes on this question. Well let's do the simple process of elimination with the friends, or more specifically acquaintances you've made.

April? No offense to the poor girl, but could you really get answers out of somebody who asks you for them? Pass.

Mikey doesn't even know what on earth the Pascal Triangle is. Poor him.

Raph and Leo would give you a detailed look of confusion. Calling over...

Donnie.

Out of everyone on the list, Donnie was the most logical choice. It was obvious he would understand what on earth this was. A groan escaped from your lips. "Can't believe I have to ask him for help on this problem. C'mon Y/N.. you're a mathematical genius! Why can't I solve a simple pattern?" You didn't even notice it, but you woke up at ten o'clock. Due to this one question and overthink, you've wasted another thirty minutes. Leaving you now with... "Oh- SHOOT!" As you launched yourself out of your rollie-chair to change...

Running down the alleyways of New York, you were advised by April to remember the specific manhole which led you down to their quarters. What did the manhole look like again-? You inspected each manhole you passed.

Too Large. Too Small. That isn't the right color. That's a whole pizza dropped on the ground.

Eventually you found the manhole, attempting to lift the metal plate as discreetly as you could. Placing it back as you made your way down. You learned from the last time you visited that it was quite dark. So you turned on the flashlight on your phone, stepping through the puddles, your name echoed throughout the sewer halls.

Finally, what felt like walking in the same direction for so long, you made it to the lair. Nothing seemed to change from your last visit, the graffiti was the same, there doesn't seem to be any new furniture, and.. Splinter seemed to be watching the same commercial like yesterday. Mikey was the first to notice your arrival and waved to you like a kid who just ate a batch of Halloween candy. It was adorable, platonically of course. He ran up to you, a visible grin on his face, "Y/N! You made it!!" You smirked, moving a hair strand behind your ear. "Well of course I made it. I couldn't miss out on a hang-out with you and your brothers."

While Mikey kept speaking with you, you could feel a gaze upon yourself. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it was.. sort of strange. You were the outcast, the 'weirdo' of the school. Who on earth would be staring at you?

.

.

.

Donnie, obviously. He was leaning against a wall, standing near the edge of the skate ramp. A small smile growing as he observed your very movement. You just were able to speak in a way that could make his heart flutter. Donnie suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, jumping in surprise. Realizing who it was, his sharpie-brows furrowed together. "L- leo! Do not creep up on me like that." Leo cackled, noticing that you've arrived. "Checking out Y/N? Gotta say Don, not your sort of thing to do." It was quite obvious for Donnie that his twin brother, wasn't going to ever let this go. An unnerving feeling, he didn't like it. "Aren't you going to talk with 'em? Y'know, make your move?" Donnie frowned unapprovingly, "I wouldn't use that saying, but yes. I was going to talk to them..." His twin brother only stared at him, waiting for the second half of the sentence. Soon realizing, that was it.

"Well! If you are then get down there." Leo moved behind Donnie. He became suspicious immediately, "Nardo- what do you plan on do- ING-!!" He was suddenly pushed down the skate ramp, now rolling towards you like a wrecking ball. Immediately jumping into action, his battle shells' metal claws grabbed hold of the floor. Throwing him back into the air, to land on his two feet. As he was about to glare and scold Leo, you spoke. "Oh my God! Donnie that was- so impressive! Was that apart of your shell?"

To the sight of his shell acting like a sixth sense, your curiosity blasted off from there. Did Leo know you'd react like this? ... Maybe. Donnie wasn't the only brother with smart ideas. They're twins after all. Donnie only blushed, as you began to circle him. In a respectful distance, "What coding did you use for them to do that! Oh my- look at this! Are these compartments for items?" After a few seconds of silence, Donnie coughed, collecting himself. "I- indeed! Well, specifically, more of an Object-Orientated type of programming." The two of you didn't even notice as Mikey left, letting you both infodump. "Really? That sounds like absolute hell! You have to teach me how to code something like that... Oh right! I need some help for this math assignment. Know about the Pascal Triangle?"

Donnie chuckled, "Do I know the Pascal Triangle? Y/N, who do you think you're asking? They're the training wheels to the most amateur of equations." Suddenly he watched as your eyes lighted up. A grin filled with relief and joy. Something that felt so amazing to experience in person, "I completely agree! Mind if we go into your lab? It'd be better to discuss there." He nodded his head as you ran off. A lovesick grin visible on his face. Wow you were... just perfect.

"Ha! Lover Boy-!!" "NARDO."

#morilicious #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt 2018 #rottmnt donnie x reader #rottmnt #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie

[theflyindutchwoman]

Everyone seems to think it was so romantic when Tim said "I can't lose you the way I lost her", but I honestly can't.

To me it implies that he's ok with losing Lucy in any other way, just not in that especific way he lost Isabel.

Like his biggest fear is not losing Lucy, is going through those traumatic events again.

Which is totally valid and understandable, but I fail see romance in that. I just see Isabel's shadow looming over their relationship.

I really enjoy your analysis, help me see what others see. Thanks!

To be honest, I don't know if romantic is the word I'd use either, though I can understand this perspective… I can't speak for others, of course, but what resonated with me is the humanity and the extreme vulnerability that Lucy and Tim portrayed in this scene. This is about them sharing their deepest fears and that is something incredibly intimate and personal. Important too.

To me it implies that he's ok with losing Lucy in any other way, just not in that especific way he lost Isabel. I mean, if you were to take this out of context, maybe… But as it is, this sentence doesn't exist in a vacuum. Never mind that we're talking about the same man who was ready to cross a line when Lucy was missing, who needed to embrace her for a while to reassure himself she was alive… Earlier in the episode, he practically had a heart attack watching her get shot at and was only able to breathe again once he saw she was unharmed. He was still so rattled that it almost cost him his life a few minutes later. So no, this isn't a man who is even remotely OK with losing her, regardless of the way. And I don't think this is what the writers intended to imply.

Let's get back to what Tim says : 'Listen, I need you to take it seriously if I ever sound the alarm about something. Otherwise, the pain of what I went through will have been for nothing, and I can't lose you the way I lost her'. There's something so profoundly human and relatable in how he is trying to find a meaning behind his pain. To convince himself that what he went through must have been for something. This is how many react after a tragedy or a trauma. And for him, the meaning is related to Lucy. In his mind, if his experience can help her avoid some of the pitfalls of undercover work, can ensure that they make it through, then his pain wouldn't have been for nothing… He's trying to find a way to turn a traumatic experience into something positive.

Like his biggest fear is not losing Lucy, is going through those traumatic events again. See, I understand this part a bit differently - I think his biggest fear is to see LUCY go through something like that. To lose HER that way. Watching the people you love lose themselves and their light fade away while being powerless to stop it, is soul crushing. It's brutal. He barely survived it with Isabel… Going through that all over again, with Lucy, who is so empathetic, who has been his light from the start, would be completely devastating. This isn't just reliving his trauma that terrifies him… It's reliving it with Lucy. And this fear is particularly tangible in that moment… Because Isabel just came back into his life. Everything is a bit more tender, more raw. Especially since they spent time talking about her time as an undercover agent. That had to stir up some memories. You can't erase life experience. And a few days later, Lucy had to go undercover… where she could have died. Tim can be very good at compartmentalising, but not so much when it comes to her. By the time they made it back to her apartment, he was reaching his boiling point. And fear took over.

I do think it was important for Lucy to make sure he understood she was different. Otherwise, it is unfair to her. And they needed to have this conversation. To set some boundaries. But I'm not really sure Isabel's shadow is looming over their relationship either… Until that episode, he had never said anything to indicate such a thing - with the exception of his outburst in 3.06. And notice that this was pre-relationship and right after his friend ODed. Other than that, he has been nothing but supportive, even going as far as encouraging Lucy to go to UC school. So it's not like there is a pattern. Yet. Who knows where this storyline will go.

The way I see it, relationships are not about perfection. It's about communicating even when it's hard, it's about choosing someone with all their flaws, not despite of them. It's about finding someone who can help you carry your baggage and who you can help carry theirs. Because we all have baggage. Some bigger than others, but we all do. And this is where I can see the romantic aspect. Because none of this is new to either of them. Lucy knew all about his hang-ups and Isabel and Tim knew all about her choice of doing undercover work. And yet, they both chose to take that leap of faith, they both believe that the other is worth the effort and the risk. They choose to communicate, even when their instincts would be to pretend that everything is alright. They choose each other and help each other when it's hard, when it gets uncomfortable… And that's romantic to me. I can understand if you feel differently though. I hope this answers your question :)

#ask & ye shall receive #the rookie #chenford #tim bradford #lucy chen

[imaginealotofthings]

Imagine you find out Chibs is seen with another woman.

"Y/N, they were together."

"We saw them"

"He's moved on!"

.. The old ladies & croweaters- the ones you considered friends, even maybe family now; kept telling you Chibs had moved on. You and Chibs weren't officially a couple, so you had to act like you didn't give a shit, but in reality - you fell in love with the man the first time he spoke to you.

Were they just trying to hurt you? Protect you? Who knew.

All you knew was that it hurt like hell! You had fallen so hard for Filip Telford over the past few months since moving to Charming - you really thought he was the one but you knew everything was too good to be true.

You sat at the bar with the girls in the clubhouse - they told you how much of a piece of shit Chibs was and that I deserved SOO MUCH better... The boys sat in a huddle, keeping out of the way - which seemed out of character for them.

You kept drinking...and drinking. I nodded along but didn't agree with a word they said. To be fair, I never thought Chibs would do this to me but he definitely wasn't a piece of shit & I definitely didn't deserve better. You didn't want better. You wanted him. You want Chibs.

You drank a lot by this point. "Thanks girls, I'm just gonna go out for a smoke."

"But Y/N, you don't smoke." one of them spoke over the others.

"I do now!" grabbing the packet of cigarettes and lighter you head outside.

Leaning against the wall, you lit the cigarette. This was the first one you'd had since quitting 5 years ago. You were ashamed, but you smoked as if it was going to cure everything. Blowing out the cloud of smoke a hand appeared yanking the cigarette from your grip.

"What the fuck are you doing lass?" Chibs face concerned.

"Hey, give me that..." you stumbled. "You don't get to take stuff off of me, like that bitch whore has..."

"What are ya talking about Y/N?" Chibs more confused than concerned now.

"That woman you've been seen with all over town, the girls have already told me, so save it Chibs. I hope she was worth it." Chibs scratched his brow with frustration and realising what was happening.

By this point the girls and the rest of the Sons had come out to see what was going down. A few of the boys took the girls back inside to talk.

"Y/N, the woman is no bitch whore. I can assure you! It was your sister."

You stare at him, tears leaving your eyes. You waited for more answers.

"I asked your sister, Y/S/N into town for lunch - I wanted to ask for her blessing on behalf of your family. I wanted to seek approval to ask for your hand in marriage.... Goddammit." he began to get angry.

You began to sob, so hard shoving your face into your hands.

"I can't understand why you'd believe them, Y/N. I can't believe you think I'd do that to you! And smoking again after how hard you worked to quit. This has to be a fucking joke." Punching the wall, he storms off out of the Teller Morrow lot.

You fell to the floor in tears. Juice and Tig sat down to comfort you.

"Hey man, you can't blame her you know what them crow eaters are like, they'll do anything to keep us boys from serious relationships. It'll all be fine man." Jax says before patting Chibs on the back.

"Just the thought of losing her kills me, Jackie Boy." He looked at Chibs with an empathetic look. "I'm in love with her."

A smirk appeared on Jax's face. "Stop fucking about and go get her, she's in love with you man."

Chibs wipes his face and bounds up to wear Y/N sat on the floor in her drunken state.

He reached down and lifted you up. "Y/N, come on. Lets go." You nodded. He swept you up and put you over his shoulder. Taking you to his room and laying you on the bed.

"Asif you got this drunk with worry - I can't believe you think I'd leave someone as amazing as you.

I'm going to kiss the worries away.. all over your body. Ok lass?"

"Okay Chibby.."

"And then tomorrow, I'm gonna ask you to be my wife..."

Credit to gif/image owners

#imagine #imagines #imaginealotofthings #chibs imagine #chibs soa #imagine chibs telford #chibs telford imagine #imagine sons of anarchy #tommy flanagan #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy imagine #sonsofanarchy #soa chibs #chibs telford #chibs x reader #chibs smut #chibs sons of anarchy #celebrity imagine #filip telford #soa #samcro #reader x character #cute #love #relationship #jax teller imagine #jax teller #tig #tig soa #tig trager

[shadowsandsunset]

I wish nothing but good things for Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr.

They gave us such an authentic, gentle, tender experience. I've watched the clip of that kiss several dozen times now.

Oliver, especially, has been amazing in his interviews and social media posts, empathetic and honest and sweet. I don't know his sexuality and I don't speculate in real people's sexualities, but regardless he seems like a true ally. He seems to Get It.

As someone who came out later in life** it really touches my heart what they're doing.

9-1-1 has always seemed to try to do good by their queer characters and I really appreciate that.

Hen and Karen have always been a fantastic and very real feeling example of a wlw relationship.

This show is doing amazing. I wish nothing but good and happy things for the cast and crew who make this happen.

**Under the cut is my coming out/self acceptance story if you're interested.

Tw: repression, self harm, drug use, shitty relationships both familial and romantic.

I tried to come out as a teenager in the early 2000s after I kissed a girl for the first time. It did not go well.

My mother was a complicated woman and she loved me very much, but when I told her I was bi (I prefer pan now but at the time I didn't have that word) she told me it was a phase and that she was disappointed, that she would always love me but that it was wrong in the eyes of God and she couldn't accept it.

Disappointing my mother was worse than her being angry. It felt like my heart was carved out of my chest. I feel like if she had been angry or openly cruel I could have fought back, but her sadness destroyed me. I was 16 then and I continued to live at home until I was 24. I'm in my mid/late 30s now.

So I repressed that part of myself for well over a decade and spent a lot of time depressed and miserable. I self harmed and did A LOT of drugs. I'm clean now except for super occasional weed use. I have a lot of scars from self harm.

My mom died several years ago and it wasn't until after her death that I allowed myself to even think about it, any of it. I was in a relationship with a man for eight years that was loving but he was an alcoholic and I had to walk on eggshells around him because of his mental health struggles; he was emotionally abusive but in a way that was only apparent in hindsight. I thought that my relationship with him was as good as I was going to get. We broke up not long after my mom died.

The only family member I am out to is my older sister, who has been amazing and accepting and loves me completely. Without her support I would be lost.

I have now dated/hooked up with women, men, nb and trans people. I have explored my own gender identity (it's whatever, I don't feel like a woman despite having the female equipment and appearing female in body, I feel pretty masculine but not like a man either, and I don't have strong opinions on pronouns, but I feel like I fail at femininity and masculinity in equal measure so I call myself genderqueer. I don't have any desire to take hormones or have any surgeries, I just want to be a person without having to perform gender).

I live in a conservative small city in the US south and I feel disconnected from the wider queer community. I don't know how to bridge that gap. There is a small queer community here but you can't really be openly out and be safe.

I'll be going to my first pride event this June. I'm excited and terrified because I don't feel like I'm queer enough or The Right Kind of queer, which is such a stupid stress to have, but I don't have many friends to talk about this with and I am hoping to get out there and make some but I'm nervous. I'm socially awkward and kinda weird. I'm also single and trying to mingle, lol.

I like who I am now but it was an incredibly difficult road to get to this place. I'm still on that journey, and maybe I always will be but that's ok. I'm finally myself.

#911 abc #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr #being queer #coming out #self acceptance #my life

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hey there! 👋 I just finished reading the latest chapter of Reciprocity and (hope I'm not bothering you) but I wanted to say all of this while it was still fresh in my mind!

Firstly: I love love LOVE how you lightly touched on Splinter and Raph's relationship pre-losing Leo before things got tense between them. It was just SUCH a nice breath of fresh air from how things currently are with them 😭 (hope they'll have that father & son relationship again someday).

Secondly: Love how you're giving us a glimpse into Leo's anxiety. As someone with crippling anxiety myself, I HEAVILY RELATE TO OUR BOY. And did he almost tell Raph about his spiritual connection!? (I forgot exactly what you called/described it as in your fic, but I noticed it!!)

Thirdly: Your overall world building and real-life references are always such a delight to read. You really make the story and characters FEEL believable, like the film was aiming to do! So reading about them receiving fan-mail and art from kids is SO SWEET.

I know this is already long (sorry); but there's one thing I'd like to ask. The part with the little girl wearing the armbrace and bandanna in Raph's colours WARMED MY HEART. So, this may be a silly question to ask, but will that girl ever make an appearance again?

I understand the point was so that Raph realized the importance of them being "heroes" and inspiring people. I just can't help but imagine a scenario where he randomly runs into her again after everything that's happened. (Not saying you have to put this in your story - pls don't do that omw this YOUR baby!!). It's just something I've been thinking about for HOURS - it really stuck with me.

Again, sorry this was quite long! 🙈 Keep up the great work, take your time, and stay amazing! ✨️

Ahhhhh you are SPOILING ME today! First the fan art on Twitter, now this wonderful comment 😭 And it's never a bother to hear from someone!!!

Firstly: I love love LOVE how you lightly touched on Splinter and Raph's relationship pre-losing Leo before things got tense between them.

Glad you liked that! I really wanted to give everyone a glimpse of "the good old days" (if only to make the current state of things even more painful lol)

Secondly: Love how you're giving us a glimpse into Leo's anxiety. As someone with crippling anxiety myself, I HEAVILY RELATE TO OUR BOY.

On the one hand, I am really sorry to hear that. But on the other, I'm glad that more than a few people have said the way the boys are written feels authentic and relatable. The things the boys are struggling with are delicate subjects, and I'm trying my best handle them appropriately and do them justice.

And did he almost tell Raph about his spiritual connection!? (I forgot exactly what you called/described it as in your fic, but I noticed it!!)

Leo was trying to tell Raph about it! At that point, everyone thinks Leo is just a really sensitive and empathetic guy. I don't want to give too much away, but at that point, Leo was beginning to realize that what he was feeling was something more than that. It's freaking him out though, and Raph was the only person he felt comfortable enough telling back then 😭

I haven't actually given it a "name" per se, because Raph still isn't really aware of it when he's awake. I've been using a few different words interchangeably like connection, bond, link, etc. As things progress and we learn more, my plan is to have one of the characters give it an "official" name.

Thirdly: Your overall world building and real-life references are always such a delight to read. You really make the story and characters FEEL believable, like the film was aiming to do! So reading about them receiving fan-mail and art from kids is SO SWEET.

THANK YOU! I just really really love world building, and I especially love the world building of Mutant Mayhem. It feels real and believable. Its just really fun to sit here and think about how this would play out in the real world (even the boring and logistical parts like having to go to the post office or how they're able to pay for things lol).

I know this is already long (sorry); but there's one thing I'd like to ask. The part with the little girl wearing the armbrace and bandanna in Raph's colours WARMED MY HEART. So, this may be a silly question to ask, but will that girl ever make an appearance again?

akjshfgaksdfhdsaf I can't tell you but...!!!! Sort of! Kind of! Not her specifically, but there will be another Raph and "little kid looking up to him as a hero" moment that's very important and a huge turning point in the whole story and it is taking EVERYTHING I have not to give too much away!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T I WRITE FASTER?!?!

Thanks again so much, I love comments and asks!

#reciprocity asks #reciprocity fic #reciprocity au #reciprocity #reciprocity tmnt #tmnt #tmnt mutant mayhem #mutant mayhem #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt mm #tmnt fandom #tmnt fanfic #tmnt fanfiction

[xdreamie]

I think with the vagueness of George's response + him saying he wouldn't reveal anything that Caiti hadn't said yet is making me think that he did touch her chest. But (and I say this fully empathizing with her discomfort) I don't think it changes much. Caiti herself said that she was willing to participate as "the price to pay" and showed signs of non-verbal reciprocation i.e consent. It could have been a light waist touch or a heavy-handed grope — either way, she chose to continue with the interaction.

(apologies for potential TMI, I just want to share my perspective)

I completely understand how Caiti would feel in this moment. Personally, I'm religiously celibate, a virgin, lowkey ace and have dealt with a long term relationship in which my sexual boundaries were continually disrespected. I totally get how it would be hard to say no, or how you might feel intimidated or uncomfortable with being touched intimately for the first time. There were some instances in which my ex pressured or guilted me into consent, but there were other times where I consented even though I was extremely uncomfortable and the interaction made me feel really dirty afterwards. It was my choice to participate in whatever my ex was trying to do to me, and while it haunts me to this day I still need to deal with the consequences of my actions like an adult. The feelings are valid, but demanding that someone respects your autonomy when you aren't willing to assert that autonomy is a choice only you can make.

With all of that, I personally don't see anything wrong with what George did. I hope he's more careful in the future, but I think he did the best he could with the cues he was given and the social bubble norms that Caiti unfortunately wasn't aware of. We can be empathetic to how shitty the situation is, but it's so important that everyone takes accountability for their actions. It's the only way George will grow, and it's the only way that Caiti can heal and use the experience to protect herself moving forward.

Sorry for the ramble + if some of those thoughts weren't connected well. I'm just frustrated as someone in a very similar position to Caiti who had to accept my role in what happened to me and the consequences of agreeing to things I didn't want.

The feelings are valid, but demanding that someone respects your autonomy when you aren't willing to assert that autonomy is a choice only you can make.

very well put anon and i’m very sorry that happened to you. you don’t need to apologize though, it was a good explanation of your thoughts

#ri asks #george situation

[alostlittleriverlotus]

I've been embracing my empathy gaps instead of trying to hide them and it's honestly so nice.

For instance, a big empathy gap for me is around the death of elderly people when it's natural/old age. My friend's grandma died and I'm just there like "Oh." I let my friend know I can't really understand since it is just a part of life, but I'm sorry for their loss. My friend rants a bit to me and I just sit there feeling kind of awkward, but trying my best.

My mom always made me feel so awful for being that way around death that isn't animals or isn't some "dying young or through tragedy thing." To me, death from old age is just something that happens, whatever it may be that actually took them. And especially with older people I don't know, it's like I cannot empathize there at all. They lived a good life, my friend got to talk with her grandma a bit ago.

I was the same way when my grandparents died when I was younger and I always felt so awful for not reacting the "right way" and being confused why my mother was sad over her parents dying.

But I'm allowing myself to experience these instead of shaming myself for them and honestly, having my friend support me is so nice. I just explained why I didn't really care or couldn't find a way to empathize and they understood. All they needed was to talk through their thoughts a bit and me listening.

It's really nice to be able to express this and open up and let myself be the way I am without being shamed or seen as some monster as I've experienced most of my life. I'm hyperempathetic most of the time, but I have gaps cause of autism and trauma as well. And it's genuinely so nice to be able to just let myself be who I am. I love my empathy, but it's also very exhausting emotionally so also allowing myself to not be as empathetic with things is refreshing because then I'm not as anxious or desperate to please or feeling things as intensely outside of my own emotional bubble. In fact my hyperempathy only added to the traumatic event that happened at 16/17 because of how I was. So that's another reason why I have empathy gaps.

Either way, empathy doesn't mean shit in the end. It can help in relationships and understanding, but can also be bad if there's too much of it. Nothing wrong with low/no empathy, nothing wrong with fluctuating empathy. It doesn't dictate shit and there's lots of people who have had it used against em (like me :p) so wherever you fall with empathy, what matters most are your actions, not some arbitrary thing that some people experience and some people don't. Humans are multifaceted and complex, we are different and we all have different strengths and weaknesses, different traits, especially with how trauma and disorders and neurodivergency can affect that.

#empathy #hyperempathy #fluctuating empathy #low empathy #no empathy #personality disorders positivity #trauma #empathy gaps #empathy doesn't mean shit #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #actually autistic #actually borderline #actually histrionic #actually narcissistic #actually avoidant #actually dependent #actually schizoid #actually paranoid #rant #rambles #autistic rant #empathy rant #rambling #my thoughts

[arnaerr]

Bold the Facts OC Tag Game

Tagged by @lucien-lachance thank you so much!! <3

I'm going with Savari, my BG3 Necromancer :3c

✧˖°. PERSONAL

$ Financial: wealthy (she comes from the ancient necromancers' family) / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable ✪ Class/Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

✧˖°. FAMILY

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) (has a younger brother who went into magic science stuff) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / found family / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable

✧˖°. TRAITS + TENDENCIES

♦ extroverted / introverted (but has high charisma, so she can adapt when circumstances need it. Noble life taught her that) / in-between ♦ disorganized / organized / in-between ♦ close-minded / open-minded / in-between ♦ calm / anxious / in-between / highly contextual ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in-between ♦ cautious / reckless / in-between/ highly contextual ♦ patient / impatient / in-between ♦ outspoken / reserved / in-between / highly contextual ♦ leader / follower / in-between ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in-between / highly contextual ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in-between ♦ traditional / modern / in-between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in-between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in-between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown / highly contextual ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown / highly contextual (I think that at her family's home they have a shrine of Jergal of sorts, but they're not highly religious)

✧˖°. BELIEFS

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don't know / don’t care / in a matter of speaking ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes (well, Illithids are real huh) / no / don't know / don't care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in-between / not religious (she says thanks to Jergal sometimes, but it's more like a family's custom) ❀ Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual

✧˖°. SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual ❥ Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless ♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

✧˖°. ABILITIES

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good (despite Savari working as a necromancer detective in the city, her grandma made sure that she can stand in battle and use her staff when the spell slots are used. But she's much better with spells than staff. She has a problem with spells that require healing/creating, so she focuses on the necromancy/any type of damaging and controlling magic) / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good (she's a good dancer 🤭) / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✧˖°. HABITS

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic / former borderline alcoholic turned sober ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gamble

#ask game #savari

[pendragaryen]

Merry christmas, my dear friends, mutuals and followers and all the best wishes for the upcoming new year! 🧡🫶🏻🧡🫶🏻🧡🫶🏻🧡

The last bit of 2022 and the whole of 2023 have not been very kind to my family - and so I'm standing here today, looking back at the past 13 months and finding myself almost back and stuck in the emotional state that I had been in after the separation from my long time boyfriend/life partner in 2009... That was a very dark time. I was trying to live and breathe with a constant black hole in my chest and soul for a couple of years then... I felt so empty and lost. I had a very similar feeling for the span of a couple of months after I had been kicked out of my job in 2017. But nothing, and I mean it, nothing has the rug under my feet pulled away and made me hit rock bottom like the cancer illness of my sister, the death of my grandma and now the fact that my mum is diagnosed with a tumor in her spine, all in the span of just 13 months... Please, we all need some rest in my family so desperately. But now we're all very anxious bc of the surgery my mum has to go through at the 12th of january. It's a difficult surgery. No-one knows for sure at this point what kind of a tumor it is. It causes her legs getting more and more numb and if they don't do anything, the risk of her ending up using a wheelchair rather sooner than later seems very likely. If the tumor should be malignant (please, god, no, NO!) the consequences would be even worse bc it could've spread already... But the fact that the doctors pushed for a fast surgery likely speaks for the possibility that the tumor is benign and seated in just one place... Well you see, this really keeps me busy... We all hope desperately that she will get better after the surgery, and not worse... We have plans! We want to travel together again! To the Netherlands next! Or to Danmark!

Don't get me wrong, there HAD been good things that happened in the last year, not at least the fact that my sister is now considered as cured. We're all so relieved and thankful, I have no words for it! But then... the death of our grandma... and now the tumor and surgery of my mother... I feel like i'm trapped in a constant state of emotional stress, like standing in the dark and screaming into the void with nobody being able to hear me... I can't even begin to imagine how my sister must've felt or how my mum is feeling now. Sometimes I think I'm too empathetic, the way I suffer with and for my beloved ones... that can't be healthy. I'm so tired.

Sorry to bother you with all this. I'm not around here that often anymore. Sadly I have to say I lost joy in many things I once loved or loved to do over the course of the last years. I'm unmotivated most of the time. But now... I have to function, I have to be there for my mum. It'll take half a year at least for her to recover from her surgery (if everything goes well - fingers crossed please!!!) and so I have to be strong - and I WILL be strong! For her! For my family! I hope my sister will support me then... The relationship of her and our mom is a little difficult... Sadly. But she's working on it..

I said I lost the joy in many things I loved once, but one thing I'll never get tired of is, on the rare occasions I visit this site, to read you all at our weekly BFSN, to see the 100 fam still being so creative and devoted, so that our favorite show never really gets forgotten. Thank you so much for that! And please keep tagging me in things! I read you, look at your photos, and I smile, even though I may not answer. This little corner of our fandom is so dear to me, it's almost a little like homecoming when I log in here. A comfort place.

Thank you all for your kind, empathetic, couraging, and motivational words at the last BFSN. I appreciate each and every one of it.

I hope the year has been kind to y'all and that these christmas holidays and the new year will be filled with tons of health, luck and love for you and all of us! Here's to a well deserved rest for us all!

And may we meet again. Here and in words. Maybe one day in person? Who knows?

Always.

Anne

@sunflowerkru: @togetherkru @carrieeve @ninappon @roguetwelve @bellamyblake @jeanie205 @geekyogicheese @natassakar @heartbellamy @okmcintyre @immortalpramheda @igotbellarkeforthat @infp-with-all-the-feelings @isweartobreathe @kizo2703 @travllingbunny @bookwormforalways @lee-em-dee @julibernardo @broashwhat @its-tea-time-darling @delicatebluebirdruins (and each and everyone else I maybe forgot, please excuse me)

#christmas 2023 #christmas #the 100 fandom #new year #christmas wishes #new year wishes #sunflowerkru #bellarke fandom #bellarke fam #my edit #cancer #surgery #depression #anxiety #wishes #photos #advent #candles #decor #decorations #aesthetics #x-mas #the 100 fam