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ashcal99 · 10 months

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Collarbones : Jasper Whitlock Hale IV

Chapter Four

"I can see your collarbones and baby I'm scared, Never thought I'd be so unprepared"

Summary: Camila Johnson was only 16 when she was diagnosed with leukemia. By the time she had turned 17, the doctors had tried everything to save her. Her family is close to giving up hope when they hear of a doctor who may be able to help her. The only problem is, he lives on the opposite side of the country. The small family soon decides to move to the small town in Washington, in efforts to prolong her life. In doing so, her life changes forever.

Warnings: Eventual smut (18+ only), mentions of death, depression, violence, descriptions of disease and weight loss, general angst, slow burn

Words: 7.4k

A/N: Please lmk if you'd like to be added to the tag list. Hope you enjoy. Made this chapter extra long for the wait x

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Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

——————

January 29th, 2005

Camila sat there, frozen in time, for what seemed like an eternity trying to process what Jasper had just admitted. So, Jasper sat there, unmoving as well as not breathing. He wasn’t sure how she was taking the new information and suddenly found himself wishing that he held Edward’s power in that moment, willing to give everything just to know the thoughts that were going through her mind. Second best, he knew that she, remarkably, held no fright towards the admission, and he couldn’t help but wonder if she lacked the simple instinct that humans should be born with. The instinct to run away screaming when someone tells you that they’re a monster and could easily kill you.

At the end of the day, he knew that was what he was. A monster. He may have changed his diet and tried to appear human, but he was far from it. He had killed people. Innocent people. He couldn’t even make the argument that his family had done the same, because their body counts were minuscule compared to his. He had fed off of human blood for nearly eighty-five years before Alice had found him. Even with his new found vegetarianism considered, he still slipped up. More than anybody else, and even though he knew that Camila was safe around him, he also knew that she had every reason in the world to fear him, and it confused the hell out of him that she didn’t.

He couldn’t help himself as he spoke, the silence eating away at his resolve. “Can you please tell me what’s going through your mind?” He asked, nervousness gripping his throat as he croaked the words out.

Camila’s eyes flashed over to him, eyebrows creased in… confusion maybe? “I don’t know… I feel like I know I shouldn’t believe you, but for some reason, I do?” She said, eyes tracing his serious expression. “Can you prove it? N-not the vampire thing, I guess, but something to prove any of it is true?” She asked.

Jasper’s mind reeled for a moment trying to think of something quickly, when an idea popped into his head. “Remember how you said I’m really good at reading emotions? Like an empath?” He asked, waiting for her nod before continuing. “It’s a little more than that. Some of us, when we turn, we get… gifts. When I was changed I could not only feel people’s emotions like they were my own, but manipulate them too.” He explained slowly, trying to find the right words.

Given the situation, he figured this was his best bet in not freaking her out any further. Eyes scanning her face to make sure that she was okay with what he was about to do, he pushed a wave of happiness towards her. He watched as the corners of her lips curved upwards, the crease between her eyebrows smoothing as her heart filled with overwhelming joy.

She didn’t know nor care why she had become so suddenly happy, but as soon as the emotion was ripped back from her, the pieces clicked together. The smile slowly dropped from her face as her mind returned to where had been just moments before. “Holy shit.” She huffed out. He was telling the truth. As soon as the feeling of joy had hit her, it was gone.

Her eyes widened suddenly. Maybe this was the explanation as to why she felt so strongly towards him. Maybe it was him all along, manipulating her feelings. “Y-you don’t do that to me often do you?” She asked nervously.

Jasper shook his head quickly, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “No. I’ve never with you before.” He rushed out, hoping to whatever god that she would believe him.

Letting out a sigh, Camila let her shoulders drop as she let herself relax back into her seat. She had no reason to think he was lying. From what she could tell, all of her feelings and emotions involving him were genuine, no matter how much she wished that they weren’t there to begin with.

“So, is the whole thing about garlic true?” She asked trying to lighten the mood. Everything had suddenly gotten much too daunting.

Throwing his head back with a bark of laughter, Jasper ran his long thin fingers through his golden curls. How in the world was she taking all of this so well? The ball had to drop at some point, right? There’s no way that everything would go this smoothly. Surely after she learned about his past and how much of a monster he really was, surely then, she would run away screaming. But that admission would have to wait for another day, because in that moment, he would give anything keep Camila as far away from that part of him as possible.

——————

January 31st, 2005

The rest of her day with Jasper had flown by, and before Camila knew it, it was the start to her second week at Forks High School. After the exhaustion of her first week, and hanging out with Jasper on Saturday, the rest of her weekend consisted of sleep and cramming in the remainder of her homework. When Monday finally came around, she was well rested, at lest as well rested as she could be.

Camila had just joined the end of the line in the cafeteria, Eric talking her ear off behind her once again, when her eyes finally met Jasper’s across the crowded room. She hadn’t seen him since he had dropped her back off at home Saturday night. Like a perfect gentleman, he had waited, car pulled against the curb and watched her figure until she had successfully made it fully inside her home, before he drove away.

Now that her eyes had met his for the first time since she had been given the opportunity to fully, well mostly maybe, process his confession, she felt a weight leave her shoulders that she wasn’t even aware was there in the first place. The rest of their night on Saturday had consisted mostly of more light hearted conversation, so now that she had been given the time to think of more questions to ask him, she had began to grow anxious of waiting.

She knew the questions would have to wait, however, but seeing his face, that alone, eased that stress and anxiety from her. Everything had happened so quickly that her mind didn’t know how to calculate what his confession actually meant, and over the remainder of the weekend her mind had time to wander. He was dangerous, that much was apparent, but somehow, she also knew that he wouldn’t hurt her. That she was safe with him.

It felt almost like a fever dream, everything happening so quickly. They had only just met, but suddenly, she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt so comfortable with another person. So comfortable with being vulnerable, and content with sharing with him what she had been so keen on keeping from everyone else. Clearly he felt the same, that much she could gather herself, given his blatant honesty with her.

Eric’s voice broke her from her thoughts as he continued his ramble on about how their trip to La Push Beach had gone and how she ‘had to join them next time’. She had to stop herself from cringing, not looking forward to coming up with another excuse in the future. She turned to him, attempting to give a reassuring smile. She didn’t want to come off rude, especially with the wide grin that was stretched across his face. He was just trying to be friendly, and that’s what she wanted. So, even if his persistence slightly annoyed her, she was still happy to have him around.

Chills ran up her spine as icy fingertips brushed lightly across her lower back, bringing goosebumps quickly to the surface of her skin. She knew who it was, of course, before she looked up, having already gotten used to the feel of his touch, but that didn’t stop the flutter of her heart as her eyes met Jasper’s once more. He had sensed her unease from across the room and had decided to come to her rescue.

“Will you sit with us for lunch today?” He asked, giving her a quirked eyebrow as well as a small smile. Alice had been pestering him since his return on Saturday to spend more time with the girl. As usual, she would get what she wanted, she already knew that of course, but that didn’t stop her from reminding him at every chance she got.

Jasper watched as the gears in her head began to turn, slowly processing his invitation, her heart sputtering at his touch. He couldn’t help his smile from growing bigger across his face, enjoying hearing the reaction he had on her heart. “S-sure.” She stuttered out, turning back to the lunch lady to pay for her tray of food. She sent a small wave and smile to the boy, Eric, and fell in stride by Jasper’s side, his hand ghosting the small of her back as he lead her to the table that held the remainder of his family.

Eric stood for a moment, mouth agape as he stared at their retreating figures. What was it with the new girls and the Cullens? Why was that family suddenly so sociable after a year of barely speaking to anybody? From across the cafeteria, the two were beginning to attract the stares from the rest of her friend group, and when she finally made it to the table, Jasper pulling her chair out for her to take a seat, the majority of the overcrowded room was practically ogling them. A fact, in which was doing nothing to ease the anxiety that had settled in the pit of her stomach.

Setting her tray down, she slowly dropped into the hard plastic seat, shoulders tensing as she took in the perfect faces sat in front of her. Camila had of course met Alice the week previous, but she had yet to meet Jasper’s other siblings. She wasn’t sure if she should feel more or less comfortable meeting the pale strangers now that she knew their secret, but the fact was, she knew and nothing would change that now.

Feeling waves of anxiety and stress radiate from Camila, he decided now would be a time to use his powers, one that he hoped she wouldn’t be mad at him for later. He hated seeing the worry in her eyes and knew that her stress was unnecessary, so he did what he could and pushed feelings of calmness and comfortability towards her as he settled into the seat next to her.

As the anxiety lifted from her shoulders, a polite smile formed on Camila’s lips. Jasper cleared his throat from beside her, gaining the attention of his siblings. “Camila this is my family.” He gestured towards the group. “Alice you met already.” He said pointing to the pixie haired girl on the other side of Camila.

The whole family already knew of his admission, and given the circumstances he was more that content with their reactions. He hadn’t exactly known what to expect from the situation, never having dealt with anything like it before. Carlisle and Esme had been happy for him, and though this slightly unnerved him, he knew it came with good intentions. He knew what coming clean to Camila could mean for her future, for their future, but he still refused to get his hopes up. Her knowing and having the choice to ‘live’ on had no guarantee that she would make that decision, and as much as it pained him, he knew that he would never be able to make that choice for her.

Alice’s teeth shown brightly as she smiled at the girl, squealing lightly as she pulled her into a tight hug. Camila’s eyes widened, the immortal girl’s antics still surprising her despite already being on the receiving end previously. Before she was given the time to process and reciprocate the hug, Alice had pulled away and had returned to her comfortable position in her seat.

Alice was of course ecstatic, even though she had seen the whole thing happen already, because now she was free to develop their friendship. She had seen the whole thing play out and knew just how close she would grow to Camila, and like a child on Christmas morning, was practically bouncing with anticipation when he had arrived home Saturday night.

Jasper continued, stopping to roll his eyes at his sister. “This is Emmet and Rosalie.” He said, gesturing to the couple sitting at the opposite side of the table. Emmet gave a ginormous half smile half smirk to the girl, while Rosalie attempted the give a polite smile as well.

Emmet was of course laid back about the whole thing, only giving him a little bit of shit for finally finding his mate. Rosalie was surprisingly at ease with the situation, unlike her feelings towards Bella. Of course, Jasper knew why. She had always resented her immortality, having her humanity ripped away from her the way that it had been, and she wouldn’t wish that on anybody else. He knew her calm demeanor had to do with the fact that, unlike her human life, Camila had no chance of growing old. No chance of starting a family.

His heart ached at this knowledge, knowing that he would give anything he could to see Camila age into her beauty. To see her grow and start her adult life. To see her get married and have children, even if he wasn’t the one to give her that future. Unfortunately, maybe because God or whatever higher power was cruel or had a sick twisted sense of humor, she had no hope for that life.

It had been an unexpected punch to the gut to meet her mother. She was such a perfect reflection of her daughter that it was almost like he was glimpsing into that impossible future. He knew that this would be how Camila would look, given the chance. But she didn’t have that chance, and that was his best guess as to why Rosalie had refrained from giving him the same shit she had been giving Edward.

“And this is Edward.” Jasper said finally, turning to look at displeased expression of his adopted brother.

Edward had seemed slightly bitter about the situation. He obviously knew the differences between the two girls, but couldn’t help but feel slightly jealous at which the ease Jasper came by with telling Camila the truth. He himself would never wish the future of immortality onto Bella, but only wished that he didn’t have to suppress his want for the girl. He knew it was best to stay as far away from Bella as possible, hence why he had been avoiding her to the best of his abilities, but his resolve was beginning to waver.

Jasper didn’t have to deal with any of this, despite having his own struggles. Camila already knew the truth about them, and soon she would be making that decision on her own. Hell, he didn’t even have to worry about his thirst around the girl, a fact that he couldn’t help but be bitter about. Edward had always had what he considered decent self control with human blood, something that he couldn’t say the same for with Jasper, and the one person that it truly mattered for, he was at his lowest point with self control. It was cruel irony.

Despite not being able to read Edward’s mind like he could his, Jasper could feel his emotions, and he could fill in the rest himself. He didn’t want any animosity between him and his brother, but he knew that whatever Edward was feeling wouldn’t stop him from growing closer to Camila, and definitely wouldn’t stop Alice from begging him to let her spend more time with her. So that was why he had decided it was time to introduce her. What better time and place to break the ice between Camila and the rest of his family than the controlled environment of a school cafeteria? He had thought, and now, seeing the slight glare on Edward’s face, he couldn’t decide whether or not that had been a bad decision on his part.

As thoughts of anger rushed through Jasper’s mind, Edwards eyes flickered over to his. Edward’s glare softened as he processed Jasper’s internal dialog. He knew that it wasn’t his fault and he knew that it wasn’t Camila’s, but he couldn’t help how he felt. He was jealous and he was finding it difficult to hide his emotions. His eyes flitted across Jasper’s face, neck, and arms. The scars littered across his skin were a reminder to not push things with him. The crescents, nearly invisible to the human eye, were a gigantic red flag to any vampire. Neon lights that flashed bright as a warning to everyone around him to stay back or else. Although he knew that his brother would never hurt him, he also knew not to start a fight, because it would most definitely be one he would lose.

Huffing in irritation, Edward pulled out his chair, rushing to leave the cafeteria. He could try all he wanted to be civil and not start a fight, but he wasn’t about to sit there and take this torture. Over time it would get easier for him to cope, but in that moment, the wound was fresh and he needed to be far from the reminder.

Jasper sighed in annoyance, rolling his eyes once again as he let his defenses fall back down to their normal level. “Ignore him.” He muttered to the girl beside him, slinging his arm protectively around the back of her chair.

——————

“So what’s with you and Cullen?” Tyler blurted out suddenly. Camila’s head fell to look at her boots that thudded along the hallway towards their last class of the day. She could feel the blood rushing up to her cheeks and knew that it would do little to help her case if he saw the growing blush.

“What do you mean?” She asked, feigning confusion. It was a matter of time before someone started the inevitable conversation given Jasper’s display in the cafeteria that day, but she had hoped she would have a bit more time to prepare herself.

Tyler stuffed his hands into his pockets awkwardly. “Yeah, you two seemed… cozy today at lunch.” He muttered.

Camila raised her head, quirking an eyebrow at the dark skinned boy in stride beside her. “Cozy?” She asked, a hint of humor tinting her voice. Tyler was clearly bothered by this whole situation, a fact that she found humorous given the circumstance. From the fact that Tyler had asked her to prom just a few days previous, she could gather herself that he was most likely jealous of Jasper. Not that he had any reason to be. Camila had every intention to stick to her plan of staying single and as much as she was beginning to care for Jasper, she didn’t see that changing.

A scoff sounded from the boy by her side as he rolled his eyes at her teasing. “Yeah. Cozy. You sat with his family at lunch instead of us, and he was practically all over you.” He argued.

Camila laughed lightly at his words. “He was not all over me.” She argued. In fact, like usual, she had been hyper aware of every touch from the pale immortal. As usual, he had shown to be very hesitant in touching her, only giving the slight graze of his fingertips along her covered back as he lead her to the table. She of course was also extremely aware of the arm that he had slung protectively around the back of her seat after Edward’s whole display, but he had been very precise in not letting his cold skin actually touch her in any way.

Tyler groaned frustratedly. “Whatever it was, I don’t like it.” He complained.

Camila’s eyebrows knitted together. What was it with people at this school being assholes to them? The Cullen’s kept to themselves, sure, but they were never anything but polite to anyone they came into contact with. At this point, all these little comments that everybody kept making were beginning to piss her off. “And why should you not liking it mean anything to me?” She asked incredulously. Sure, she wanted to make friends, and be nice, but she was starting to become defensive over Jasper and she wasn’t just going to stand there and take everybody’s bullshit. Because that’s what it was. Complete and utter bullshit.

Tyler’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He hadn’t expected her to respond in that way, never seeing her angry before. “I mean, he’s kind of creepy isn’t he? I’m just trying to look out for you. He doesn’t seem… good.” He said trailing off towards the end as he took in the expression of anger growing more and more prevalent on her face.

She had to bite back a snide remark as she tried to process how she could respond without sounding like a total bitch. An awkward silence rung between the two teens before she decided that she didn’t really care anymore. If he was going to give unsolicited advice to her when he barely knew her then she would respond accordingly. “No offense Tyler, but I didn’t ask for your shitty advice. I’m a big girl, I can look out for myself, thanks.” She said finitely.

Pushing her aching legs to move her forward at a faster pace, she let out an internal sigh of relief as the door to her calculous class came into view. Lunch had gone well, all things considered. Despite Edward’s little display, the rest of Jasper’s family had welcomed her with open arms. While the conversation mostly consisted of small talk and them asking her questions about herself, she could tell that they were all genuinely nice people.

Alice had invited her over for the following weekend, in which Camila had immediately agreed to without thinking. Now that she had been given the time to think about the implications of the invite, she realized that she would be meeting their adoptive mother and seeing Carlisle. While she knew Carlisle fairly well, given meeting him the week prior, she realized how nervous she was to meet Esme. Jasper had talked the woman up so highly, but she couldn’t help but feel her nerves eating away at her. She would be meeting his mother soon, ‘adopted’ or not and it was only natural to have that kind of reaction.

Jasper, as usual, was already seated at their assigned table by the time she had arrived to the classroom. Camila flitted to the back of the room to her seat, letting her body drop into the confines of the cool plastic, as she let out a heavy sigh.

“Are you okay?” Jasper asked, concern lacing his voice. It was normal for her be exhausted by the end of the school day, but he could also feel her anger and frustration. The feelings set off warning bells in his mind and he was immediately on alert to what had upset her.

Camila rolled her eyes, raking her slim fingers through the long dark strands of her hair. “Tyler Crowley is an asshole.” She said simply, annoyance still evident on her face as she recalled their conversation that had just taken place moments ago.

His eyes flickered over to where said boy had just entered the classroom, narrowing as he took in the sight. “What did he say?” He asked, immediately defensive over the girl.

“He apparently has an issue with you and ‘just wants to look out for me’.” She said, yanking her workbook and and pencil case from her backpack and slamming them down on the desk.

Jasper’s shoulder’s drooped at her words as he hummed in reply. He couldn’t even be mad. What Tyler said was clearly justified, whether or not Camila had realized. She should be warned about him. Just because he didn’t thirst for her blood didn’t mean that he wasn’t a danger towards her. Didn’t mean that he couldn’t hurt her, even if it wasn’t intensional. Didn’t mean that he wasn’t a monster at the end of the day.

Hearing his near silent response, Camila turned her head to see him looking down slightly defeated, eyes refusing to meet her own. “Jasper.” She said, trying and failing to get him to look at her. “Jasper.” She repeated, grasping at his hand that laid in a tight fist at his thigh.

Electricity shot through her fingers as they brushed the marble skin of his clenched knuckles, but she pushed on. “Can you look at me, please?” She asked, her soft voice contrasting the anger that had filled it just moments ago.

His amber eyes flickered up to meet hers. As much as he wanted to sulk in that moment, he wanted more to give her what she wanted. Her eyes softened as she saw the pain that filled his. They were always filled with pain, but this was different. More of an inner torment and seeing it made her chest ache.

She turned his fist over in her palm, nudging the fingers apart so she could intertwine them with her own. “He’s full of shit, Jazz. I know you would never hurt me.” She said, voice softly ringing in his ears.

The pain in his heart grew at her words. He didn’t deserve her. She was too perfect for his damned self and he knew it, but that didn’t stop him from being grateful that she was there. It didn’t stop him from selfishly wanting her. He pulled their intertwined fingers up to his lips were he laid a soft kiss on the back of her palm, thanking her for her kindness. Thanking her for her comfort.

The touch of his chilled lips on her skin sent her heart into overdrive, and knowing that he could he hear his effect on her didn’t help the blush that was creeping onto her cheeks. She had expected him to drop her hold after that, but instead, their hands remained, bound together and laying gently in his lap.

Class continued, the two working together on finishing the next page in their worksheet. Jasper of course could finish the work in less than a minute, but anything that gave him the excuse to talk to Camila he would gladly do. She sat there, eyebrows furrowed as she worked over a particularly difficult problem on the sheet. Normally, she would have no problem solving the equations, but today her mind was wandering too much. She sighed, giving up as she let her pencil clatter onto the chipped veneer of the desk.

“Do you want to come over to my house today?” She asked suddenly. Clearly seeing that she had caught him off guard, she continued. “I have more questions.” She clarified.

Jasper groaned internally. As much as he would love to avoid the inevitable conversation, he also knew that it had to happen at some point. At least he would get to spend more time with her, a definite plus. “Sure, I can just drive us after class if you’d like.” He offered. Alice had told him to drive separately to school that day, and now it was clear why. He would have to thank her later.

Camila nodded, pulling her flip phone from her bag and trying to discreetly type a quick text to her mother letting her know that Jasper would drive her home. Doing so was a bit difficult to do one handed, but she wasn’t about to take her other hand out of his grasp.

The remainder of the class trudged on slowly to Camila’s dismay. Now that she knew that she would be able to ask all of the questions that had been racing through her mind, she couldn’t seem to clear her head of them. Finally, a bell rang shrilly throughout the class, signaling the end of the school day. An unspoken agreement stood between her and Jasper as they both proceeded to pack away their belongings without undoing the grip on each other’s hands.

She wasn’t sure what the hand holding meant to him or even herself, but she didn’t exactly care. She already had to constantly remind herself of her promise to keep any romance at bay, but hand holding didn’t necessarily have to mean that. It was comforting, having his cold palm pressed against hers, and despite her internal screaming at herself that it was a bad idea, she didn’t want to pull away. So there they were, walking down the hallway, hand in hand, attracting even more stares than usual.

Camila let out a sigh as they reached the parking lot, the cool air feeling nice on her feverish skin. Puffs of vapor swirled in front of her mouth as steady breaths of hot air left her parted lips. Jasper had to rip his eyes away from the sight to make sure that he was walking in the right direction. He needed to pull his shit together. Kissing her hand had been bad enough, but he had to stop himself from thinking too much about her lips. Her soft warm plump lips. Jesus Christ, STOP.

He wished so badly in that moment that he could’ve kissed her. Regardless of the numerous bystanders. However, he knew that it wasn’t safe. He didn’t trust himself enough not to end up accidentally hurting her. He didn’t even know if she would’ve kissed him back for fuck’s sake. And here he was feeling like an absolute creep again.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he pulled the passenger door of his car open for her. Reluctantly, she let loose of his grasp, immediately feeling an emptiness without it’s presence. She settled into the plush bucket seat, pulling her bag into her lap as he shut the door softly behind her.

Flitting quickly, or as quick as seemed human, to the driver’s side, Jasper slid in and turned the key in the ignition. Shifting the car into reverse, he backed out of the parking spot and shifted back into drive as he sped out onto the street. He internally thanked his past self for buying a manual transmission before reaching over to grasp Camila’s hand once more.

Camila let her hair fall in front of her face, hoping that the curtain of dark strands hid the smile that she couldn’t wipe away. For someone who was so adamant on not dating, she kept finding herself being giddy whenever he touched her. What was she a twelve year-old? He was just holding her hand, she shouldn’t feel like a swarm of butterflies was flying around in her stomach.

The drive to Camila’s home hadn’t taken long, and by the time they arrived at the small house, he mother’s mini van was still absent from the driveway. She had replied earlier letting her know that she was going to go grocery shopping since she had time before she had to go to work, and Camila was happy to see that she hadn’t returned yet. One less awkward interaction with Jasper and her parents would always be a good thing.

As they stepped through the threshold of the home, she found herself wishing she had cleaned her room. She hadn’t thought of the mess she had left behind before she had invited him over, albeit a small mess. Either way, she couldn’t help herself but try and hurriedly pick up the few pieces of clothing scattered around the room once they made it through the doorway.

Once she was content with her ‘cleaning’ she shut the door softly behind her and plopped down on her mattress, the springs squeaking slightly in protest. Scooting backwards until her back met the wall, she patted the empty space beside her, gesturing for Jasper to join her. On one hand, she almost wanted to sit out on the couch in the living room, as it would probably seem less intimate that way, but she also didn’t want to be interrupted by her mother when she inevitably returned home from the store. So there they were sitting side by side awkwardly on her worn out used mattress and now she didn’t know how to start the conversation.

Sensing her hesitation, Jasper spoke up. “So, you have questions.” He said, wanting to end the torture of waiting any longer. If she was going to run away screaming, he would rather it be sooner than later, because the anticipation was slowly eating away at him.

Camila sucked in a breath. “How old are you?” She blurted out. Jasper groaned, rubbing his hands down his face. He should’ve expected her to jump right to the point, but, somehow, he hadn’t. “You said it was a conversation for another day. It’s another day now.” She reasoned.

“I know. I know.” He said with a sigh. “I’m just really old, Darlin’.” He said, hoping the nickname would distract her. It didn’t.

She scoffed. “That’s not an answer.” She said bluntly.

Jasper closed his eyes, sucking in a breath as he braced for the impact of her reaction. “I’m a hundred and sixty-one.” He muttered lowly. Utter silence followed.

Camila didn’t know what she expected, if the age he had given was younger or older than she had thought it would be, but hearing him say such a precise age made everything seem way more real. She couldn’t find the words to say in response, so instead, she reached over to grasp his hand once more, letting him know that she wasn’t disgusted like he had thought.

“Will you tell me your story?” She asked, not being able to help her intrigue.

His bright gold eyes met her emerald irises. “It’s kind of gruesome.” He warned, trying his best to prolong the inevitable admission of his past, but knowing that it was just that. Inevitable.

“I want to know.” She said simply. “If you’re willing to tell me.” She clarified.

Jasper was fucked and he knew it. Anything that she wanted, he would give her in a heartbeat, but she would hate him after this. “I didn't have quite the same upbringing as my adopted siblings.” He said, reaching his free hand over reluctantly, to roll up the sleeve on the arm that she held.

She wasn’t sure how she hadn’t noticed them before, but there they were. Hundreds of crescent shaped scars shimmering lightly in the dim lighting emitted from her ceiling fan. Now that she knew what to look for, she could see the scars were scattered across every piece of visible skin. Down his arms, onto the hand that was holding hers, a few up his neck to his handsome face. “Are those… bites?” She asked incredulously.

“Battle scars.” He responded, a small smirk gracing his lips. “I was seventeen when I joined the Confederate Army.” He said, pausing when he saw her grimace. “I know. I wish I could say that I didn’t know what I was fighting for, or against, but I knew enough. I’m not proud of it.” He said hanging is head in shame.

“I was the youngest major in the Texas cavalry. All without having seen any real battle.” He continued.

Camila perked up. “I knew that was a Texas accent.” She said smirking at him, gaining a small smile in repose. Leave it to her to try and lighten the mood as soon as it gets dark.

Still, he pushed on, knowing that it was about to become a much darker conversation. “I was riding back to Galveston...after evacuating a column of women and children. When I saw her.” He said dauntingly. “I immediately offered her my aid.” He continued.

“Maria was creating an army. A newborn vampire army.” He clarified. “Our kind are at their strongest in their first year after changing. Their human blood still lingers in their veins and gives them more speed and strength.” He explained.

“Newborn armies were very common in the South, and cost a brutal battles for territory.” He continued, losing himself in the story. “Maria won them all. She was smart, careful. And she had me. I was the second in command. My abilities to control emotions served her well.” He said, looking down to the warm hand he still had clutched in his own, trying to find comfort in her touch.

“I trained her newborns. An endless occupation since she never let them live beyond their first year.” He said, cringing from the memory. “It was my job to dispose of them.” He said, voice thick with emotion. It pained him to remember what he had done. To remember their pain. “I could feel everything they felt.”

The crease between Camila’s brows deepened. It clearly hurt for him to recall these memories, and she found herself wishing that she could take that pain away.

“I thought what Maria and I had was love. But I was her puppet. She pulled the strings. I didn't know there was another way. Until I found Alice in 1948. Now she'd seen me coming, of course.” He paused, remembering that this would wouldn’t make much sense to Camila.

He gathered his thoughts quickly, trying explain the best he could. “She has visions, of possible futures. They change when decisions are made, but she knew when and where to find me.” He smiled slightly. “She saw you, even though she conveniently didn’t warn me.” He explained.

“I don't know what I'd have become without her. I’d done horrible, unspeakable things, and she helped me get past that. My family choses to feed off of animal blood rather than human blood, but it wasn’t always like that for me. I’ve killed innocent people. I’m not a… good person.” He ended his story with a sigh, unsure of how she was feeling.

Her mind was filled with conflicting emotions that he couldn’t quite place all together. “I completely understand if you want me to leave.” He said, moving to pull his hand away from hers.

Her grip tightened as her eyes shot up to his. “No, stay. Please.” She muttered. She knew how her reaction must seem. In truth, she had almost expected worse. As bad as his story was, at least he didn’t actively kill people. It was a horrible argument, she knew, but after being given the rest of the weekend to let her mind wander, she had tried to prepare herself for the worst.

Her silence was agony and he couldn’t help himself when he asked. “Can you please tell me what you’re thinking?”

Camila sighed, bringing her eyes back to his. “I’m not going to sit here and act like what you did wasn’t wrong, because it was. But I’m also not going to actively try and make you feel any worse for it. You’ve had over fifty years to regret what you did, and you clearly do. I’m not going to judge you for something that you wish you could’ve changed, not when I know you’re a good person now.” She said.

Jasper shook his head in disbelief. How was she this forgiving? It seemed impossible. He was sure she would be disgusted with him, but here she was forgiving him for something he couldn’t even forgive himself for. “How are you not terrified of me?” He asked.

She looked deep into his eyes as she answered. “I’m not scared because I know you won’t do anything to hurt me.” She said simply.

“I could hurt you on accident. Very easily.” He argued, looking ashamed. “I could crush you just by hugging you too tightly. I know you don’t understand fully, but it would be so easy that I actively have to try and not hurt you.” He said, a deep frown on his face.

Camila’s eyebrows furrowed as she brought her free hand down to trace the crescent shaped scars that littered his arm. “I don’t know what to tell you. I trust you, that’s the best answer I can give you, Jasper. You need to try and have trust in yourself.” She answered.

Jasper shook his head, baffled that she had so much trust in him to begin with. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve her. Seeing the sadness still in his eyes, she rushed, trying to find a change of topic to lighten the mood from the darkness that it had reached. “So, if you can manipulate emotions and Alice sees visions of the future, does anyone else in your family have a ‘gift’.” She asked, curiosity peaking once again.

Jasper was thankful for the change of topic, already feeling himself beginning to spiral from the continuous self hatred. “Yeah, Edward is the only other one in our family. He can, um, read minds… I know it sounds ridiculous.” He said, slightly humiliated at how fictional everything sounded.

“Oh god. That’s… embarrassing.” She muttered, her mind beginning to wander. Edward had no doubt read her mind and heard her thoughts of Jasper. Those were thoughts she didn’t even want to admit to herself and now he definitely had knew all about them.

Suddenly her mind went to his exit at lunch. Was that why he had left? Was it something she had thought that had set him off? “What happened with him at lunch today?” She asked.

Rolling his eyes at the memory, Jasper tried to form the most comprehensible explanation. “He’s jealous that I can tell you the truth and he can’t tell Bella.” He said simply.

“Bella Swan?” Camila asked.

Jasper nodded. “He… has a particular interest in her. He’s been trying to avoid her because he knows that it won’t end well, and he’s jealous that I don’t have to do the same with you.” He explained.

“Why is it different with me?” She asked, trying to ignore the implication that Jasper had an interest in her.

His eyes trailed across the bare walls of her bedroom, looking anywhere but at her as he continued. “He has a really hard time with the scent of her blood, while yours is different for me.” He said.

“Because of the leukemia?” She asked.

Jasper nodded again. “It’s more dangerous for her than it is for you because of that. It’s hard for him to even be in the same room as her. Either way it would end badly.” He explained.

“End badly how? Surely it could end in more ways than just him killing her right?” She asked. She knew the subject had to be touchy and sensitive, but she couldn’t keep herself from asking.

Here it was. The scariest topic of them all. If he didn’t handle this just right, if he didn’t use the right words, then there went his chance of a future with her. He gulped, mustering the courage to speak. “He could kill her or he could change her. Both which he doesn’t want to do.”

Camila’s eyed widened. She hadn’t even thought of that. Changing into a vampire. She wasn’t sure why her mind hadn’t gone there, but she hadn’t even considered that a possibility. She couldn’t help it when her mind wandered to what this could mean for her. He had said it like he was trying to imply something else entirely. He had to know the possible endings. Surely Alice had seen.

“Are there more possible endings for me? Futures where I don’t die from the leukemia?” She asked. She had to know. She had spent a year coming to terms with the fact that her life would be cut short, but now she wasn’t sure. She knew that her illness would in no doubt end up taking her human life, but what if she turned. What if she changed into something else where the cancer didn’t effect her anymore? What if she wasn’t human anymore? She had to know, because suddenly, after a year of withering away, she might have another option. She might have hope.

Jasper turned his eyes back to hers. This was the make it or break it moment. He sucked in a breath, feeling a tightness in his chest regardless of the fact that he didn’t need the oxygen.

And he spoke. “Yes… Alice has seen it."

Next Chapter

Tag List:

@jasper-the-beloved @parkchaeyoung1997 @bobaopal @izzyisstuff @itsmytimetoodream @soyeonrai @just-browsing101 @demirunner @dkbj14 @iloveramensm @imyelenasexual @bella7866 @ropickle @may-and-lay @breezybeesposts @emily-a13 @mamajaxx2511 @meyrryme @bertholdtswife @swagcopangeloop @idonotcareaboutyouropinion @honey132 @sakurayuki8655-blog @braveangel777 @illogic-ally @obsessed-with-pychopaths @natsvenom @iamveryholyiswear @too-many-fandoms-tbh @loser-syrus

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isa-ghost · 26 days

Note

Do you have any headcanons as far as Philza and BBHs' relationship? I've enjoyed thinking about that because I think it's one of the few relationships on Philza's side that's actually a bit more complicated? But also Philza saying that BBH wouldn't lie is the funniest thing ever.

Or if no headcanons about Philza and BBH specifically what about Philza, Bad, and Cellbit as a trio in charge of the order because I really loved that

OOOH this is gonna be an interesting challenge because I don't watch a lot of Bad :0!

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Obligatory they're both thousands of years old mention. There's some things they can talk about and relate on that no one else on the island can. MAYBE Foolish, but Foolish tends to just focus on the present and vibe. Phil and Bad though, in the right conditions, they could and will have deep conversations about the past and their experiences.

On that note holy fucking shit these two would be terrifying teamed up together. If the Feds ever do something harmful or permanent to the eggs, god help them when these two decide they're armed enough and hatch a plan. They'll rain hell on the entire island and then some. And every other parent will be more than willing to join them. Do Not Piss Off The Immortal Murder Dads.

Phil could tell clearly that Bad is part demon. Finding out he was part reaper was a surprise. Honestly with how much of a lil trickster Bad is, Phil is surprised he isn't part Fae or something.

Phil takes one look at how Bad goes "no idea what you're talking about, nothing happened :D" about stuff like him Literally Dying and is like [uncanny Mr Incredible] "at least I'm not that bad." Phil just (very poorly) hides things and says he's fine. He doesn't straight up deny anything happened (and couldn't convincingly act like nothing is wrong the way Bad can if he tried)

Missa is a reaper. Bad is a reaper. Phil wants to see them talk about reaper things together. Or see them both in action. He himself can also carry small conversations about it since he's learned so much through osmosis :D

Actually that's kinda why Phil feared Bad so much during Purgatory. That was him in action. And he never wants to be on an opposing side of it again.

He doesn't resent Bad for Purgatory btw he just jokes like it sometimes. Same as with Tubbo (or anyone else for that matter), he blames the Watcher for trying to destroy their friendships.

Has straight up looked Bad in the eyes like "are you aware you are raising the most terrifying egg. Are you." He genuinely thinks if Dapper wanted to, he could kill Phil in his sleep. Every time he sees Dapper, he's learned something new and insane.

Tbh Phil sometimes envies how full of whimsy Bad is. He's seen infinitely more horrors than Phil for sure, yet he always ironically seems like a little ball of sunshine despite being a literal shadow lookin demon. What The Fuck is this man's secret to staying so silly.

Phil is endlessly fascinated by the extent to which Bad can come up with more and new protections for the eggs. He thinks of stuff not even remotely on Phil's radar. See, Phil's a safety expert as a survivalist, but most of his skills involve using what's around you and your wits, because survival is largely about relying only on yourself because you rarely have any other choice. Bad on the other hand will not hesitate to seek out new tech, other people, or tinker and experiment until he discovers new ways to use anything and everything he can get his hands on. Phil admires how intuitive he is.

Also Bad is really good at making bases and Phil enjoys seeing how balanced the aesthetics and practical parts are. Bad can make something look cozy and lavish as hell while also putting like a billion farms and gadgets into it.

I wonder how a conversation about possession would go. :) Surely Bad has some insight on it as a demon?

Something about how the two of them have arguably the most horrific egg death nightmares. I don't know where to go with this but goddamn would Crows and Ghosties be feasting.

Actually wait shut up, I just realized something kinda cute. In the same way Phil can talk to birds (particularly crows ofc), Bad can talk to the dead/undead (particularly ghosts). Imagine the sillies that could come out of that. It's said that animals can see the dead, what if Phil's murder conspires with the ghosts that follow Bad around ;D

The moment Phil would use his wings if they were healed, Bad would clock that he's the Angel of Death. I'm not sure he saw Phil flying during Purgatory, but if he did, he knows. And that would lead to many interesting conversations. :)

#qsmp #qsmp philza #philza #q!philza #qsmp bbh #qsmp badboyhalo #badboyhalo #q!bbh #q!badboyhalo #qphil headcanons

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magicpumpkin3 · 2 years

Note

May I request HCs of the Dorm Leaders (Separately) with a [S/O] [Gender Neutral] (Romantic) who can curse out in their native language whenever they get angry? Like in one scenario: [Y/N] got so fed up with the One-Brain Cell gang (First Years) that they willingly cursed out in their mother tongue to the group, giving them an earful of a lecture like an angry mother who found their kids caused trouble at school. How would they react to their partner who can speak in another language? (Examples: Korean, Russian, Spanish, etc.)

(Note: Scolding in any language is lethal.)

(Note 2: Ignore @//swiftyangx12)

- @sanctum-of-ramshackle

Note: *laughing in bilingual* Oh dear, It's going to be such a delight to write

Note: It took almost a year...Well, that was something -

Riddle Rosehearts

I see Riddle as a person that thinks, that curse words are forbidden and that no one should use them well, at least not around him.

So, let's just say, when reader cussed out because of the stupidity of the holy trio, I think it was for the best that no one had a single clue what the hell they were saying, because otherwise Riddle would've collared them.

So, let's Imagen a scenario, where Riddle found out what the bunch of gibberish words ment. He is soo not pleased, the dorm leader really thought that reader was better, then that. Of course there was some scolding and ect, but at the end of the day, he kind of get's it, it's Deuce, Ace and Grim after all. But that's still not an excuse!!!

He's also really interested in learning some basic words in readers native language. Even those cuss words sounded beautiful.

Leona Kingscholar

So, like Riddle, he has no fucking clue what you said. Well, he gets that it's probably something like cuss words but he's not quite sure.

Now, let's clarify that he gives zero shit if you cuss or not. Like, he gets it, shit happens, let's move on. And to be fair, I'll lie if I say I don't think he's the type to use cuss words in he's day to day life.

So, when you let all your anger flow in the middle of an overbolt fight, he's all in for it, even the overbolt kid was stunned by the nonsense you said.

Does Leona want to learn the language? Fuck yeah he does, it would make so much easier for him to cuss and make fun of other people, omG. Overall, he thinks that you're hella cool when you speak your native language.

Azul Ashengrotto

So, I don't think I need to say it again, he has no idea what you said, he has some suspensions but he's quite sure. Azul new that sometimes your brain just glitches and some words happen.

To be fair, I'm not sure how he feels about cuss words. I think he's okay when there's some used, but not like fuck fuckedy fuck fuck fuck.

So, when you started screaming at the trio, he thought it was one of those days when your brain farts some words. He haven't even thought those could be some inappropriate words. Twins on the other hand...oh yeah, they knew-

When he found out, Azul was quite impressed. He hadn't heard anyone curse so passionately, so boy couldn't even be mad at you properly!

As for the language, he finds it mesmerizing. Does he want to learn it? Oh hell yeah! It could be your secret language that only both of you could talk on~

Kalim Al Asim

First of, this is a child. But in all honesty, I think he dislikes cuss words, but not as passionately as Riddle. But still, don't swear around him plz

He is truly curious about you knowing another language, especially when you speak it! It sounds so beautiful coming from you, he is definitely into learning some words. Lemme tell you, the way he was staring at you, when you rained hell fires apun the idiot trio, was something.

Now, we all know that he had no idea what you said, but let's pretend someone told him God help that poor unfortunate soul

He is shocked to say the least, I think he would just froze up with this face 0_0, like. He doesn't blame you, but at the same time it feels wrong to him to hear you cuss in your native language.

Vil Schoenheit

Okay, I feel like he's kind of like an Azul when it comes to the adult language, doesn't mind it, but when it's too much he'll ask you to stop.

Now, you speaking 2 languages is interesting, but at the same time he knows it's semi-normal to be so fluent He has Rook by his side, like c'mon

He would love to learn your language, but I feel he'd actually just learn the basic set of words and of course speak without accent bc perfectionism

Vil is no idiot and he sees with whom you're dealing. He understands, no judgement, yell at them all you want, he will just watch and might trow some disapproval glance in their director, just so they could feel the fault.

Idia Shroud

First of, he's a fortnighter. He's a gamer for crying out loud, I bet when he's comfortable he swears at least once in 3 sentences. So yeah, you can swear all you want, he's not amused.

As for the language, he's quite fond of it. It sounds very majestic when you start to talk on it so to speak. He simp-. And let's be honest here, the fist words that he'll ask to learn are the cuss once, we all know it.

So when he heard you scolding the trio he makes a few mental notes 1)Ask for the translated version. 2) Don't get on your bad side 3) That was hot-. Idia is really amazed how good everything sounded, almost got hypnotized there.

He wants to learn the language not only because he can then swear around people and be unnoticed or at least around himself, but he also wants it to be a semi-secret language between you too, so you can talk about whatever you want without being afraid of someone ears dropping.

Malleus Draconia

Okay, so yet another child. It's like dealing with Kalim but this one is a bit sly. He understands that cuss words have their place in the world but Malleus doesn't feel the need to use them or at least around you.

Malleus has great interest in learning your other language, he thinks that's it's going to be your aristocratic language thing, which he also finds quite romantic.

When he overhead you cussing in your mother tongue at the trio he was amused. Malleus in all honesty found this hole situation hilarious and interesting.

And yes, even knowing cuss words in your language he will not use them just to make you a tab bit mad~

#twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #malleus draconia #twst x you #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x you #riddle rosehearts x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #kalim al asim x reader #vil schoenheit x reader #idia shroud x reader #malleus draconia x reader

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deadlyflames · 3 months

Text

This is a playlist I made for a fic I'm working on to explore an au post 3x09 where Klaus actually reacts to the MFG recruiting Mikael to try to kill him. And things go down hill for everyone from there.

This is definitely a dark (kinda toxic) version of Klonnie, but I like dark ships ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Let Me Crawl Inside Your Veins

I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Choke ~ "if I could burn this town, I wouldn't hesitate to smile while you suffocate and die"

MILCK - Devil Devil ~ "to think I would ever settle for that devious dance between you and me"

Scissor Sisters - I Can’t Decide ~ "I can't decide whether you should live or die"

Melanie Martinez - Tag, You’re It ~ "little bit of poison in me, I can taste your skin in my teeth"

Shinedown - I Own You ~ "strip down, show me flesh and bone, cause now I own you"

Nicole Dollanganger - Dog Teeth ~ "you draw blood just to taste it, you hold bones just to break them"

Depeche Mode - Corrupt ~ "you'd be calling out my name, begging me to play my games"

Florence + The Machine - Seven Devils ~ "I've come to burn your kingdom down, and no fires and no lakes can put the fire out"

Sickick - Mind Games ~ "once I grip onto your mind and soul your brightness starts to dim"

Ellise - Nightmares ~ "so sick of thinking of all the things you need from me, who you think that I should be"

I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Bleed Magic ~ "to drain you, and bleed your magic out"

Blood Red Shoes - God Complex ~ "you left me high and you left me dry, then you fed me to the wolves"

Shayfer James - Villainous Thing ~ "cause youre a villainous thing, and I don't think anyone knows"

Digital Daggers - The Devil Within ~ "I'm gonna make you suffer, this hell you put me in, I'm underneath your skin, the devil within"

Muse - Undisclosed Desires ~ "I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart"

Valerie Broussard - A Little Wicked ~ "to that king I will bow, at least for now; one of these days a-comin', I'm gonna take that boy's crown"

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan ~ "but you can't be free, cause I'm selfish, I'm obscene"

Blue Foundation - Eyes on Fire ~ "and I'm not scared of your stolen power, see right through you any hour"

Rosenfeld - I Want To ~ "your on my mind, been there all night, I've been missing seeing my midnight queen"

renforshort - mind games ~ "taking up my headspace, sleeping in your brain, I swear this boy is deadly, he loves these silly games"

Air Traffic Controler - This Is Love ~ "you could kill me and you should, I'm an idiot for thinking this was anything but blood"

BANKS - Beggin For Thread ~ "strapped down to something that you don't understand, don't know what you were getting yourself into"

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You ~ "I hate everything about you, why do I love you?"

Halsey - Hold Me Down ~ "I sold my soul to a three-piece and he told me I was holy, he's got me down on both knees, but it's the devil that's tryna hold me down"

The Bravery - Hatef - - k ~ "I will show no mercy for you, you had no mercy for me, the only thing that I ask, love me mercilessly"

Florence + The Machine - Howl ~ "drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart, my fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in"

Troye Sivan - BITE ~ "you can coax the cold right out of me, drape me in your warmth"

Daughter - Landfill ~ "'cause this is torturous, electricity between both of us, and this is dangerous, 'cause I want you so much, but I hate your guts"

Super Pipo - I Wanna Be Your Slave ~ "I wanna make you quiet, I wanna make you nervous, I wanna set you free but I'm too fucking jealous"

girl in red - bad idea! ~ "you pushed me up against my wall, threw my clothes down on the floor, 'darling, are you ready for more?'"

Nine Inch Nails - Closer ~ "I wanna fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed, you get me closer to God"

Halsey - Young God ~ "there's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs, and if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight"

SIAMES - The Wolf ~ "out of my head, of my heart and my mind, 'cause I can feel how your flesh now is crying out for more"

Lana Del Ray - Once Upon a Dream ~ "yet I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem, but if I know you, I know what you'll do, you'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream"

Dutch Melrose - RUNRUNRUN ~ "run for your life, gonna tear out your heart, it'll always be mine, oh, there she go losing my head, say you'll love me to death"

Melanie Martinez - Toxic ~ "with a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride, you're toxic, I'm slippin' under, with a taste of a poison paradise, I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?"

Aesthetic Perfection - Big Bad Wolf ~ "because, my dear, you look so good, you're good enough to eat, I'll never let you, once I have sunk in my teeth into you"

AURORA - A Dangerous Thing ~ "something about you is soft like an angel, and something inside you is violence and danger, I knew from the moment we met, you are a dangerous thing"

Reignwolf - I Want You ~ "I get the feeling that you just don't understand, I'm crying wolf and I'll always be your man"

BANKS - Waiting Game ~ "what if the way we started made it something cursed from the start? what if it only gets colder? would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart?"

The Brobecks - If You Like It Or Not ~ "oh my girl, just give me a chance, I don't want to explain, I just want to dance on the graves, on the graves of every girl that I knew before you, they're all dead to me too"

Zella Day - Shadow Preachers ~ "I close my eyes, just close the door, you want a minute, I'll give you more, maybe I don't want you either, we're both unsettled, nighttime creatures"

Neon Trees - Your Surrender ~ "I got close to your skin while you were sleeping, I taste the salt on your hands, I reached out to touch you, the morning light disarms you, won't you let me in?"

Charli XCX - enemy ~ "you’re the only one who knows the way I’m really feelin’, now it’s really clear to me, you could do a little damage, you could cut me deeper, maybe you’re my enemy"

Sleeping At Last - Dark Horse ~ "So you wanna play with magic, girl you should know what youre falling for, baby do you dare to do this"

Billie Eilish - ocean eyes ~ "I'm scared, I've never fallen from quite this high, falling into your ocean eyes"

The Neighbourhood - A Little Death ~ "I want you to touch me there, make me feel like I'm breathing, feel like I'm human"

Of Monsters and Men - Silhouettes ~ "a thousand silhouettes dancing on my chest, no matter where I sleep, you are haunting me"

Hozier - NFWMB ~ "give your heart and soul to charity, 'cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey, belongs to me"

Melanie Martinez - Carousel ~ "and it's all fun and games 'til somebody falls in love, but you already bought a ticket and there's no turning back now"

Muse - I Belong to You ~ "How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole? You're my guiding lightning strike"

Billie Eilish - hostage ~ "let me crawl inside your veins, I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain, it's not like me to be so mean, you're all I wanted, just let me hold you like a hostage"

BOBI ANDONOV, Son Lux - Smoke - Son Lux Remix ~ "now you got me where you want me cause I'm on the ropes, baby, don't make me rush, 'cause I only wanna save you slow and breathe you in like smoke"

Taylor Swift - Wildest Dreams ~ "Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down, he's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad, but he does it so well"

The Civil Wars - Poison and Wine ~ "oh, your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine, you think your dreams are the same as mine, oh, I don't love you, but I always will"

Stateless - Bloodstream ~ "I think I might've inhaled you, I could feel you behind my eyes, you've gotten into my bloodstream, I could feel you flowing in me"

Beyoncé - Crazy In Love - Remix ~ "it's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you, but I still don't understand just how your love can do what no one else can"

Måneskin - FOR YOUR LOVE ~ "I wanna be a good man and see you smile, and I wanna swim between your thighs, I wanna fuck you 'til you scream and cry, I wanna hold you in my arms tonight"

Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love ~ "The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, you've left me in the dark, no dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight in the shadow of your heart"

Fall Out Boy - The Last Of The Real Ones ~ "I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision, but only for you, my head is stripped just like a screw that’s been tightened too many times, when I think of you"

Paris Paloma - the fruits ~ "As you eat it up whole, my body and my blood, you've claimed it now, so come drink up"

Tamino - Persephone ~ "indeed, it's wrong to keep you near me, one could call me cruel and deceiving, but in your sacred air I am full of light, your loving arms are the true delight"

Halsey - Graveyard ~ "it's funny how the warning signs can feel like they're butterflies, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper, I won't stop 'til I get where you are"

Tom Odell - Can’t Pretend ~ "oh, feel our bodies grow, and our souls they play, yeah love I hope you know how much my heart depends"

Lana Del Ray - Dark Paradise ~ "every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise, no one compares to you, I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side"

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine? ~ "satisfaction feels like a distant memory, and I can't help myself, all I wanna ever say is, 'Are you mine?'"

Avril Lavigne - I Fell In Love With The Devil ~ "got me playin' with fire, baby, hand me the lighter, tastes just like danger, chaotic anger"

Hozier - Sunlight ~ "I had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight, oh, your love is sunlight"

Fleurie - Love and War ~ "broken pieces of the night, sing like hollow lullabies, you and I, always in disguises; lover, hunter, friend and enemy, you will always be every one of these"

Tamer - Beautiful Crime ~ "take what you need, say your goodbyes, I gave you everything and it's a beautiful crime"

The Crane Wives - Pretty Little Things ~ "but trust is now something I make people earn, so I'm not inclined to just give it away to a pair of blue eyes with some nice things to say"

alt-J - Breezeblocks ~ "please don't go, I'll eat you whole, I love you so, I love you so, I love you so"

Billie Eilish - Bored ~ "givin' you what you're beggin' for, givin' you what you say I need, I don't want any settled scores, I just want you to set me free"

Steve Lacy - Dark Red ~ "why I feel this way, I don't know, baby I think of her so much, it drives me crazy, I just don't want her to leave me"

Melanie Martinez - EVIL ~ "took me way too long to put this to bed, lovin' you was lethal, guess that makes me evil"

Set It Off - The Haunting ~ "no one will love you like I did, will touch you like I did, so good luck finding something better"

Olivia Rodrigo - Can’t Catch Me Now ~ "I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground, you'll see my face in every place, but you can't catch me now"

Ramin Karimloo - You’ll Be Back ~ "when you're gone, I'll go mad, so don't throw away this thing we had, 'cause when push comes to shove, I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love"

Taylor Swift - my tears ricochet ~ "and I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home, and you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones"

Arctic Monkeys - 505 ~ "when you look at me like that, my darlin', what did you expect? I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck, or I did last time I checked"

Olivia Rodrigo - vampire ~ "I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes, six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise, I loved you truly, gotta laugh at the stupidity"

Taylor Swift, Bon Iver - exile~ "we always walked a very thin line, you didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out), you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)"

The Neighbourhood - Baby Came Home ~ "baby just came back around, told me she's leaving this town, said she needs time to explore, she said I can't love her no more"

Taylor Swift - Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve ~ "I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep, the wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time"

The xx - Fiction ~ "were we torn apart by the break of day? you're more than I can believe would ever come my way"

Paramore - Interlude: I’m Not Angry Anymore ~ "I'm not angry anymore, well, sometimes I am, I don't think badly of you, well, sometimes I do"

Black Math - Flesh and Bone ~ "this bleeding heart that's in my hands, I fell apart, I walk alone, beside myself, nowhere to go, my flesh and bone"

Penelope Scott - Feel Better ~ "of course I don't wanna feel better! can you fucking imagine?! no one's ever gonna love me like that again, I don't wanna get over it, I wanna rip the stars to shreds"

Coldplay - The Scientist ~ "come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are, I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart"

Florence + The Machine - Shake It Out ~ "and it's hard to dance with the devil on your back, and given half the chance would I take any of it back? it's a fine romance, but it's left me so undone, it's always darkest before the dawn"

#klonnie #Tvd #the vampire diaries #klaus mikaelson #bonnie bennett #klaus x bonnie #playlist #Spotify

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otherloser · 4 months

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Romance Starts With The Stomach

Okay, so this is kinda my first story, like, EVER, on Tumblr, so please don't shit on me if it's bad, I am very aware of that myself, thanks 👍

Anyway, I basically came up with this story because I recently had soup (it was so good like holy crap), there's soup in BaTIM, and I remembered the line 'the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach' that Tiana says from Princess and The Frog, so yeah, I thought it would be cute :]

Fem!Reader x Ink!Bendy

Story: Y/n and Bendy have ended up accidentally making a magical contracting bond between their souls, meaning that they can't hurt each other and are sort of stuck together in the abandoned studio. They've been sort of ignoring each other for the main part up until now, but there's some bad news; Y/n is getting hungry, and she needs to eat…

~~~~

"Grooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwl..." A noise resembling much like a distant thunder strike rumbled and echoed through the corridor. A dusting of blush crept up onto my face, placing a hand on my abdomen and pressing down hard to try and muffle the complaining my stomach was making in the absence of the food it so desperately desired. This only made it worse however, appearing to instead push my middle into making even more sounds of winging and whining. The ink demon himself finally seemed to notice, his tail whipping at the air elegantly as he turned and blinked with inky and gooey eyes.

"...'S tha' you, lady?"

"Y-yeah, sorry, I haven't eaten in a while..." I mumbled apologetically, reaching into my satchel at last. "We've been running around so much, so I haven't had the chance to have a snack break."

"Figures. You humans are always hungry fo' somethin' or othah." He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms in a snarky tone. He'd maintained this attitude for basically the entire time. Like a fed up teenager being forced to go shopping with his mother. It was frankly pathetic, but hey, he was a demon so there wasn't much I could do, unless I wanted to be mildly inconvenienced with his unholy rage. As I rummaged around for even something small like a chocolate bar or a biscuit, my hand became more frantic, until I quickly realised. I had nothing left. My middle roared again for food.

"groooooooowl!!!"

"Uh oh.."

"W-whaddya mean 'uh-oh'?"

"I'm out. I have nothing to eat!" I explained, showing Bendy my empty bag as he leaned in and inspected it closely, grumbling to himself as seeming much more peeved with each second that my stomach called out in starvation. He brought his hand up to his face, using two fingers to massage the area between his eyes where a nose should be.

"Well that's just peachy."

"Groooooowl!"

"This is a really sticky situation 'ere."

"Grooooowwl!!"

"Bendy-"

"Seems you've gone an but the dust!"

"GROOOOWL!"

"Dude! Stop using those words, it's actually making my stomach hurt!" I exclaimed, making the demon sigh exasperated lying and lazily raise his hands up in surrender. Suddenly a very comical light bulb physically appeared above Bendy's head, taking me be surprise.

"Follow me, I know a place to grab somethin' to bite, toots!"

"Leave my toes out of this, Bendy."

~~~~

"Come on, just try it!"

"Ew! Hell no!!" I argued, using a plank of wood to keep Bendy and his suggestion away from me; In his arms he carried a really old and raw slab of meet, clearly infested with diseases I very much did not want to risk the chance of catching.

"Oh, don't be difficult, Y/n! It's just a day or two out of date" He rolled his eyes and held up the meat towards me, visibly causing me to gag and drop the plank, jumping back and hiding behind a support beam and peeking out at the ink demon cautiously.

"Yeah! 'A day or two OUT OF THE QUESTION'!" I stated, shooing him away as he grumbled to himself in cartoon speech, before chucking the meat slab to the side impatiently, to which I sighed in relief.

"I mean honestly, you mortals are so sensitive." He sassed, turning his back on me and kneeling down to inspect the drawers closely. "If you won't eat meat, you'll have to eat greens! Let's see, we have...broccoli...mushy carrots...-oh hey, an apple with a worm!"

"Gross." I whined and stuck out my tongue, watching in disgust as the inky creature scoured the cupboards for veg that was definitely as dry as wood by this point. On and on he went, listing what was there and what he liked about their staleness. I rolled my eyes, sniffing once as the air as the pangs of hunger in my stomach grew louder, only to catch a whiff of something. Something nice, veggie, meaty, brothy, edible! I sniffed the air a few more times, feeling my tummy react positively to the smell as well. All my sniffing also caught the attention of Bendy, who stood up and looked at me with a confused brow.

"Uh...are ya synisus actin' up, doll?" He asked.

"I smell something. Something..." I paused, closing my eyes and taking a long smell, before grinning brightly, "...delicious!"

And like a bullet, I was off, shooting down the corridor towards the room where the treasure was to be found. Following behind my, Bendy staggered behind, seeming to find a little trouble in keeping up with me (which was a first). Past countops and cupboards I weaved myself through the rooms, skipping down hallways until I finally came across a singular storage room that claimed host of the tempting scent. A storage room, filled with barrels, most likely filled with the most deliciously untold delicacies if it smelt this good alone! I hopped forwards and stopped in front of a barrel, opening it up hurriedly, only for my grin to drop at the sight of tin shining back up at me depressingly. Cans. A barrel full of cans. Picking up a can, I examined the label along the curve: 'Bacon Soup'.

"What'd ya find, Y/n?" Bendy asked, finally having cought up to me as I stared at the soup can, confused.

"I...what the shit is this?" I turned to him and asked, shoving the can into his gloved hands as he blinked in shock to my profanity, observing the can briefly, only to ah in realisation.

"Ah, it's bacon soup." He repeated.

"Yeah, I know what it is- why would anyone come up with it!?"

"Well, hey, I doubt there's anythin' else here, toots! You followed it's scent like a dawg, so you must like i' so SOME degree!" He defended, handing me back the can forcefully, to which I held it and opened another barrel with my free. But unfortunately, he was right, there was only more cans of bacon soup on the second barrel. I sighed in disappointment, looking back at the can in my hand, debating what to do. "...At least try i', yeah?" Bendy suggested.

"Grooooowl!" My stomach moaned. I sighed, truly defeated as I opened the can, shut my eyes tight, and took a good sip of it's contents...

...-

And within SECONDS, I was gulping down the rest of the can's delectable brothy heaven as if it were my life support! It was gorgeous, like a work of art, painted by god himself. The god of soups! I felt the smooth, syrupy texture slide down my throat and deep into my core, warming me up a pleasant amount, despite its unheated state. Finally, I removed the can from my lips and groaned loudly in pleasure to the soup's aftertaste.

"Oh my god, that's so good!" I rasped, grabbing another can and ripping the lid open, beginning to swallow the contents once more, unable to get enough! It was sooooo addictive.

"Well heeeeeelloooooooo! Y'know, I do appreciate a lady who can eat~" I heard Bendy's voice flirt with me, clearly finding my sudden addiction the the soup an amusing thing to tease me with. I couldn't give a crap though, I was just so immersed in the sanctuary that was this seductive soup.

"Ah, shut it, Satan, I'm in heaven!" I exhaled after finishing the second can, reaching for a third and sitting down on the floor with it in hand, my back pressed against the barrel surface so that I could relax. Again, I opened the can and began to wolf down the angelic and tasty substance, my life up till this point feeling almost dull compared to the very moment where I was finally rewarded with the one thing i had been missing out on this entire time: BACON SOUP! But of course, all good thinfs have to come to an end. Consuming the last of the soup from the can, I gently placed the empty tin on the floor and took a second to relax and briefly digest what saintly thing I had just experienced, my hand placed gratefully onto my belly which now remained still and silent, proving just how satisfactory the soup was in this conundrum of hunger.

"Well then, toots - are ya still hungry~?" The smirking ink demon purred, a smug grin plastered onto his face as I basked in the happiness the food had brought me, finding it impossible, for the first time ever, to even be mad with him and his teasing!

"Oh, 'hungry'? I don't recognise the meaning~" I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I enjoyed the company of the ink demon for the first time. He looked amused and happy that I was so happy after a few helpings of soup.

"Dang, tha' must've hit a reaaaaaal good spot in your stomach; you're all...smiley and stuff! Y'know, you have a nice smile, dollface~"

"Yeaaah, don't ruin it."

"Alrigh', I'll le' you have this momen' to ya'self, darlin'~"

~~~~

I mean, technically it's romantic, because Bendy's flirting the entire time? Eh, I'm counting it--

#bendy and the ink machine x reader #Food #Soup #Bendy #BaTIM #BaTDR #Bendy x Reader

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landwriter · 1 year

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Heya, I love your writing and taste in things.

I’ve finished (and loved) everything you’ve posted <3

Are there any sandman fics that have tickled your fancy lately?

Thank you so much!!! I sadly do not have time to read near as much Sandman fic as I'd like, but I have scoured both my memory and my bookmarks on AO3 (all twelve of them) and dug up some absolutely wonderful stories - hope at least one or two of these is new to you?!

I am probably a bit weird in this, but I don't bookmark fics I love (which is really nearly all I've read) insamuch as fics that have done something in particular that I think is so well-executed or clever or inspiring that I want to be able to study it like a creature in its own right. Usually these are stories that have the traits I admire most in fiction: economy of language, being very fucking funny, making me viscerally uncomfortable, or outright haunting me.

I loved reading all of them but your mileage may vary! Caveat lector like more than half of these are smut and/or violent so please check the tags against your own preferences. Several long-winded recs with excerpts and explanations under the cut:

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The Birthday of the Beast | @slythernim | Dream/Hob | T | 3.3K

Father Almighty, though I have long not been your servant, I remain your unmanageable son. Here on Earth, closer to Hell than to Heaven, as I celebrate perhaps the least holy of holy days, I must imagine myself like unto Lucifer more than as Michael, that he and I might together make of the darkness a place for humanity to grow. He blows out the candles.

Hob turns 666. Extremely fun fic by Nym that features incredible characterization within a very short space, Catholicism, Lucifer, and of course, gets a very special birthday gift. But you shall have to read the fic to see what it is. Read everything of Nym's, actually.

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New Mistakes | Anonymous | Dream/Corinthian | M | 3.2K

Dream slid his thumb into the Corinthian’s mouth, the one he shared with most, the one with which he commonly spoke. “Well?” he asked. “Are you fed?” The voice that came from his left-eye mouth buzzed like locusts. My lord, we are. The voice that came from his right-eye mouth dripped like honey. My lord, we can always be fed more. Dream pulled back, looking at the Corinthian expectantly. The Corinthian swallowed, running his tongue along his teeth. There was a faint blush on his cheeks, and Dream was unaccountably flattered. “My lord,” he said. “I wish to be good.”

Have read almost no Corintheus but this fic hits on so much that I find distantly intriguing about the pairing. Perfect dialogue, gorgeous rhythm. Wonderfully visceral. Absolutely bonkers nuts for repetition in threes, as I'm sure you know, and I love how it was used here.

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Lucy Locket | Anonymous | Dream/Hob and Dream/Hob/Corinthian | E | 17K

Five chapters (now with a new threesome added in late April, much to my delighted surprise!) of just fantastic roleplay smut that in-between all the sex is by turns incredibly funny and tender. Alternating Dream and Hob POV. As somebody for whom sexual roleplay has been my literal bread and butter on a professional basis, it shouldn't be surprising I am so fond of this fic - but it catches me out every time! Like a blow from behind, and I am winded. It is ridiculously hot and distressingly perfect all-through, and I would absolutely marry the author about it (sorry author if you're reading this). No excerpt because I cannot choose and will simply suggest that if you're up for kink that you go read it all at once.

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Public | @softest-punk | Dream/Hob | E | 1.1K

"Oh, darling," Hob murmurs, fingering the edge of Dream's delicate lace knickers. Dream feels his smirk against his jaw, bites his lip at the brush of a kiss under his ear. "You forget how old I am. I learned to fuck with an audience."

Every day I get closer and closer to needing to write Dream and/or Hob with vulvas; this may have been the fic that sealed the deal for me, I think. Ridiculously hot, and enshrined in my head forever for the line above. I learned to fuck with an audience. God! How good. A masterclass in the slutty drabble that nevertheless retains peak Dream/Hob characterization (I would argue that sex is in fact one of the best narrative vehicles for characterization and exploration of interpersonal dynamics...this bias is probably why nearly all these recs are so horny.) One day I will learn how to write proper smut in media res like this and not preface it with gratuitous plot.

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worship like a dog | @thewalrus-said | Dream/Hob | E | 2.5K

“Is it so inconceivable that I might love you?” Dream murmured, running his manicured nail down Hob’s cheek. Hob tried to speak, swallowed, and tried again. “No one ever has before,” he said. “No one but God.”

Hob is a priest. Dream is a demon, except he's not. Dizzyingly hot for so many reasons, with a delightful canon dialogue echo. And again, must stress this: Hob is a priest. Hob is a priest. Hob is a priest, go read it.

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Safehouse | Anonymous | Hob/Corinthian | E | 5K

“I need a room. One without a door.”

The best execution of the sex pollen trope I've ever seen, with the worst men. Very, very good fic with a brilliant premise and unerring execution. World-building is done in such brief but vivid strokes - it feels like a 50K fic whenever I remember it, and I'm always surprised how short it actually is. Haunts me in the best of ways.

---

As well - these fics are well-known and well-loved - but some stories that are utterly wonderful and contain lines that haunt me weeks, sometimes months later - stories that rearranged my soul, lurched me closer towards writing for Sandman, and warrant mention even though I am SURE you have read them, include:

@moorishflower's iconic and beautiful Odyssey fic, maybe sprout wings was the first fic I commented on with my AO3 account, and among the best fics I've ever read in any fandom; slightly deeper cuts from Heather's oeuvre (if, for some reason you are not reading everything already) that I am obsessed with and have reread multiple times: vowel shift, most vain devices, an act of faith. Genius stuff and unbelievably gorgeous language. Just go read it all, honestly

@softest-punk's Shelter is one of the first Sandman fics I ever read, and is beyond lovely; if you have not read their entire deep and profoundly lovely back catalogue, I recommend Catching Up (quintessential Cecil deep tissue emotional massage), Delayed (or: my favourite kink and favourite Endless); Ferrous (vampires! bad men! ahh! ooh!); and I would of course be remiss and ungrateful to not mention self-abandon, and the confounding effects thereof, a 10K fic that perfectly answered my general question of how the three lads would actually get together once the Corinthian and Hob had started fucking (as narrative foils that deserve such treats)

@xx-vergil-xx's Hounds is an ongoing epic that has singlehandedly caused me more emotions than humanity has language for; it is ambitious in scope and sticks every landing. The world is alive and lovingly-detailed. The language is a poem. It is so smart, so beautiful, and so well-researched and built. It is a TEMPLE unto itself, and appropriately worthy of worship

I will also suggest you read absolutely everything by @that-banhus because she literally cannot miss and writes the loveliest, cleverest worlds. All of it.

#asks #gloam's sandman rec list #this is basically my fic rec masterpost lol #unfortunately i flatter myself about my good taste and cannot stop going on about what i love and why once given the barest excuse to start #the sandman #dreamling #corintheus #hobrintheus #COB #fic recs #it's not that i exclusively read fic ppl feel the desire to publish on anon #it's that what people publish on anon FUCKING SLAPS #spent far too long enjoying drawing this up and it still feels woefully inadequate #but it's a start #into either remarkable sandman fic or my id really

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wolfoftheblackflames · 1 month

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Thank you guys, I'm glad I'm keeping my fellow Chaggie shippers well fed. (There's alot of ship names for these two ha!) Here's what you've been waiting for, enjoy the meal my misfits!

Dancing with the Devil: Pt. 2

To say the next few days after helping some ungrateful sinners was awkward would be an understatement. Back in heaven, Vaggie did have a crush on her superior Lute, but that dwindled upon seeing her being an asshole when Vaggie beat her kill record. Sure, the other exorcists were nice to her and followed her lead for a time, but now that she was here in Hell, she found herself not missing the dagger like glare Lute always gave her, or the sexist remarks Adam would often spew while slurping so noisily on that stupid straw in his soda cup.

Vaggie was brought out of memory lane with a slight jolt in her shoulders. She grumbled, taking a painkiller for her phantom back pain, yet it wouldn't go away that easily. "Are you ok?" It was Charlie's turn to ask that when she spotted Vaggie looking miserable at breakfast. "Is it your back again?"

A small nod was Vaggie's answer. Though today was hers and Charlie's fancy ball date, the ex angel cursed Lute for ripping the wings she once took pride in off. She looked bitter and annoyed. Though that changed when she felt those gentle long fingers on her shoulders. "Wh-what are you doing?”

"Giving you a shoulder massage silly. It's the least I can do since you did take care of me during Extermination Day." Charlie smiled warmly, her voice turned into a hum as those fingers gently kneaded those aching muscles. "Ah fuck..." Vaggie uttered melting into that touch.

The giggle and the fact Charlie was literally right behind her didn't help Vaggie at all much as she was trying not to be awkward. It was a crush, which could turn into more since Charlie was not subtle at hiding her feelings. She swore the princess would often find an excuse to be near Vaggie. "If it gets too much, I can always cancel going to the ball." Charlie spoke, her voice sounding concerned.

"I'll let you know if it does ok, hon?" Vaggie stated then blinked. How in hell did that last part come so natural to say? This plagued Vaggie's mind that she missed the small blush that arose from Charlie's cheeks.

It was later that day the two women were getting ready for their date, Razzle helped Charlie while Dazzle helped Vaggie. "You sure I look ok? Oh my gosh I'm so nervous..." Charlie gulped, trying to straighten her hair.

"Baaaap!" Razzle replied with a thumbs up, bringing some relief to Charlie's racing heart. How could she not be nervous? This was her first date in a while, and it's with the cutest, sweetest, most thoughtful woman in hell! Charlie swooned a little, wondering how Vaggie looked. The princess didn't have to wait long as she gulped nervously, knocking on the guestroom door.

"I'll be out in a bit!" Vaggie replied, though yelped as Dazzle tried to shoo out the angel. "Hey!"

"Baaap bap baap!" Dazzle replied in a more reassuring but scolding tone.

Charlie chuckled lightly, hearing the two bicker, however her eyes widened once the door opened. Holy shit, she was so beautiful. Charlie's throat felt dry as her heart just picked up the pace, threatening to burst right out. "W-wow..." Was all the princess could get out. Which she mentally kicked herself for.

Vaggie blinked, standing in a gorgeous black gown that had a night sky theme going on with its small gradient of purple mixed into it with her regular eyepatch on, plus a pair of beautiful deep purple heels that seem to sparkle. She blushed a bit since she had tied up her semi-long hair in a simple low ponytail. "Cat, got your tongue, princess?" She teased with a giggle.

"What n-no, I just didn't expect you to look so..." Charlie gulped as the next word left her lips with ease. "Beautiful." The princess looked away a little playing with some of her blonde hair.

Vaggie just blushed a bit harder. "You look nice too, hon.." She answered as she lightly moved back some of her greyish-white hair. She was thankful for the looking away since her cheeks were tinted a soft shade of gold right now. Charlie's outfit looked especially stunning as well, the way the off shoulder styled black and white blouse hugged her torso, the simple yet flattering black dress pants that compliment long legs and finally some adorable black dress shoes. She also noticed Charlie having an elegant braid instead of the usual dual hair ties, plus the cutest looking golden chain necklace. "Dios mío..." Vaggie whispered lightly, tugging at her own matching chain, but then she shook her head. "Shall we go?" She asked, making the blonde look back at her.

"Y-yes let's.." Charlie said a little too quickly as Razzle handed her a nice black suit jacket. "Thanks Razzle." She patted the goat body guard on his head.

"Baaap!" He replied, looking pleased.

Soon, the two headed to the limo with the goat bodyguards close behind, taking their place upfront. Charlie smiled and politely opened the door. "Your chariot awaits m'lady." She grinned, trying to make Vaggie laugh. It worked as the smaller woman rolled her eye with a chuckle.

"Why, thank you." Vaggie humored her date and played along doing a small curtsy, which made both of them have a fit of giggles.

The limo ride felt long as Vaggie noticed Charlie fidgeting again. “Huh?” Worried ruby eyes met concerned ivory. “Sorry it's been a while since I've seen the other royals..” The princess muttered a little uncomfortable.

Vaggie reached over and gently placed a comforting hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Don't be sorry. Though I am curious as to your outfit choice.” The angel asked, trying to change the subject since it bothered her hellborn best friend.

Charlie blinked a bit and smiled a little at the attempt. “Is it bad?” She asked, being a little shy. “No? Why would it be?” She heard Vaggie reply. Charlie chuckled softly and lightly took Vaggie's free hand into her own giving it a light squeeze. “Well I.. The nobles see Charlotte Morningstar the daughter of Lucifer Morningstar King of Hell and Lilith Morningstar the Queen of Hell. But to tell you the truth, it really feels suffocating to me to be referred to as such.” She started to ramble, her eyes falling to the floor of the limo.

Vaggie nodded, since the first few days she had been staying with Charlie, the princess was adamant on being called Charlie, and not her full name or title. And when she spoke about her parents, the demoness also seemed aloof when she spoke about them. “You do know I can just punch some asshole in the face for disrespecting you right? All you need to do is say the word.” She replied, earning a soft chuckle.

“Vaggie, you're really sweet, but even if you do, and fuck some of those jerks could use a good whack, it's not really worth it.”

“Te juro que eres demasiado agradable a veces…” (I swear you're too damn nice sometimes) Vaggie muttered, shaking her head. “You could use some of your authority to get people to listen to you?”

Charlie shook her head at that comment. “That's so mean though, besides I don't want people to see just the Princess of Hell part, I want them to see me, Charlie. A girl who cares about her subjects and wants to make life in Hell better.”

“Baaap!” Razzle spoke up signaling that they were here.

Charlie groaned softly but gulped since she was seeing some old friends, and one big jerk she never wanted to see again. Vaggie lightly took Charlie's hand again when the latter reluctantly released it. “We're on a date, remember?” She stated with a cheeky smirk which made Charlie's heart flutter as the two stepped out of the quiet limo and into the loud bustling ball grounds.

(Hope you enjoyed it, I'll be posting the full thing on AO3 under my user name: Wolfoftheblackflames since I had to break it into chunks for easy Tumblr posting)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #cute as fuck #dancing #seviathan von eldritch #razzle #dazzle #starmoth #ballroom dancing #awkward vaggie is fun #flustered charlie is fun #adam mentioned #lute mentioned

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lxrd-ren · 7 months

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Holy SHIT I'm LOVING q!BBH rn

Man's set himself up a 4D chessboard and igniting more and more of the peices as time goes on; but as it's all for his kids, the ends justify the means right?

And yet at the same time he feels guilty both from burning the peices he cares about but also how his kids are missing in the first place. His self-worth has no doubt plummeted, afterall, he considers himself an expendable peice. In hindsight, it's no wonder he's making sure his peice is burnt blue black.

But as the game goes on, the hole that the eggs once filled seems to be growing emptier by the day. He tries to pretend that everything's ok; his kids are with him, what do you mean it's just a picture? However, his reality crumbled before him. Not the best coping mechanism, huh? He'll just go back to torturing himself instead..

He's so calculated with gaslighting and manipulating everyone around him. People extremely underestimate him (perhaps for the exception of Foolish) and, like he has said, "All according to plan.". He has everyone wrapped round his finger; hell even the federation don't touch him. The most he gets is a 15 minute time-out for fucking up their builds but that's kinda it. Not to mention how he manipulated a very high ranking federation employee so that they'd be off his back for, hm I don't know, fucking kidnapping one of their other employees. He can be so so cruel to those he doesn't care about all in the name of getting those he does care about back. His family trumps other families afterall.

But he's also extremely selfless: His self-worth is literally based on how much help he can provide for others. Hell people know him mainly as a kind person who you can always ask for stuff. He is the resident babysitter and has taken care of all the eggs at some point or another. He also blames himself for the deaths of the eggs that have sadly passed on.

He's also so self-destructive. He takes hits and let's himself be hurt and downed so his family isn't. He has purposefully tortured himself to motivate him to find his kids. He'd burn down all his bridges aswell as himself for his family; and that's exactly what he's doing.

It's horribly ironic, isn't it? Everyone else is being destroyed and has trauma from the federation and what they've done. And yet the one person they don't dare touch; the one person who has seemingly escaped their wrath is in the process of being destroyed at his own hand.

(Disfruta la isla my ass, more like disfruta la trauma)

Well that's my take on him :D no matter if I actually understand him or not, I shall continue to enjoy him as a character and I'm excited to see what cc!Bad has been cooking. Cause so far we have been fed, and it's seemingly only the first course :)

#qsmp #q!bbh #qsmp badboyhalo #qsmp bbh #qsmp analysis

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midnightechoes · 10 months

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Okay, so My Adventures With Superman was everything I hoped it would be and more! Clark is a fun, charming, earnest himbo. Lois is a driven, confident reporter with a knack for finding a story and not really thinking of the trouble it'll get her into. And Jimmie is an eager conspiracy theorist who's ready to uncover the truth with his friends.

I honestly love this version of the main trio. They're funny, energetic, and lively and they go together well. And most of the background characters are fun so far. Perry is fantastic as their perpetually tired and fed up with their bs boss. This Ma Kent is FANTASTIC. And this version of Livewire is an interesting (and hot) take on the character.

And I love how immediately into each other Lois and Clark are. Their obvious crushes on each other is refreshing and done really well, leading to a lot of cute moments just in the first two episodes.

So okay, when I watched this, my first thought, after just "holy shit this is great!" was that WOW, for a completely straight show, it just kind of feels gay. Like, it has a very queer vibe to it. Somehow, despite Lois and Clark being a het relationship it kind of feels sapphic as hell in the way it's done. And I'm sorry, but this version of Livewire was designed for lesbians:

So I looked at the credits, and yep, it made sense.

The show was developed by Jake Wyatt, who worked in the animation department for the Duck Tales reboot and Steven Universe. Josie Campbell is the co-producer, who was a writer and story editor on She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. The first episode was directed by Jen Bennett, who directed 17 SPOP episodes, including Princess Prom, Promise, and Save the Cat. And the second episode was directed by Diana Huh, who was a co-director and storyboard artist on SPOP, and a storyboard artist on the Duck Tales Reboot, Infinity Train, and DC Superhero Girls.

My point is that there are a number of SPOP alum working on this show and it shows because somehow, someway, this silly little (so far) completely het show about one of the oldest superheroes and America's boy scout, feels fresh and gay as hell.

And who knows, maybe there'll actually be some queer content down the line. I mean, Kara is supposed to show up at some point. 😏 A girl can dream, can't she?*

My Adventures With Superman feel fun, fresh, and very anime-inspired and I 100% recommend checking it out. It airs on Adult Swim and HBO Max, and the first episode is free to watch on Adult Swim's Youtube page.

Also, I want you all to know that I worked really hard to make this a decently coherent post and not just a lot of squealing about how great this show is and how adorable fucking Clark and Lois are.

*For real, if, against all odds, this show was somehow the show that pulled off Supercorp, I would LOSE. MY. MIND. I know, there is a 0.0002% chance of that happening, but again, a girl can DrEaM!

#superman #clark kent #my adventures with superman #lois lane #kal el #clois #jimmie olsen #martha kent #ma kent #pa kent #john kent #jor el #leslie willis #livewire

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asiandra-dash · 1 day

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Hi i saw u wanna rewrite akikasa hcs PLEASE WRITE ME SOME I BEG /nf /lh

HJKJSKDKHS AKIKASA anyways I was referring to a short story I wrote a while ago but THIS!!! IS (I think) MY FIRST AKIKASA RELATED ASK!!!! I MUST WRITE!!!!!! All I have to do is figure out which thoughts are based on canon and which ones are AUs-

I took 18 days to finally post this because I kept getting ideas and had to force myself to stop because this is way too long 888 words man this ain't fanfiction also if this is illegible I'm sorry none of my headcanon posts will ever be organized no beta or read more we die like my grades after my orchestra field trip

Starting with basic shit Akito is SO so in denial about his feelings and when he's finally fed up with it he chucks it down to infatuation (It is not)

And Tsukasa is an oblivious idiot to everything even though he has a stupid crush on this ginger he just refuses to say anything because he still thinks Akito despises his guts

My guy every little bit of physical contact you make with carrot head makes him look like color hex #ff0000 RGB 255, 0, 0 how do you not notice this

Tsukasa fell first, and they both fell harder >:)

You know Tsukasa'a 1* card where Akito saved the poor man from a spider or something that's when it happened Tsukasa didn't know at first cause like haha who the hell falls in love with someone over something so small I barely even know the guy

If Akito confessed first, after a long moment of awkward silence and Akito wishing the floor would eat him alive, Tsukasa is suddenly hugging him and crying (That's a yes btw)

If Tsukasa confessed first, it would take a bit (probably a few days or weeks) but eventually Akito with the support of everyone finally accepts his feelings for Tsukasa (He didn't tell anyone about the confession btw it was probably Akiyama or one of Tsukasa's friends that told everyone also the threat of Rui was probably another reason he couldn't deny lmao)

Every date, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DATE, Tsukasa will always bring or buy some cheesecakes or pancakes for Akito

And if he doesn't the next time he brings lunch for Akito he'll bring him more cheesecake than he usually does to make up for it

When Tsukasa found out Akito's favorite flowers were sunflowers, he sometimes brings one for him too :D

Tsukasa probably got a pair of sunflower clip-on earrings too (Or whatever they're called)

Tsukasa loves to tackle hug Akito and it never fails to make the ginger laugh <3

Tsukasa borrows Akito's jackets a lot (At least twice a week).

Akito complains about it but let's be honest he loves it when he gets it back and all he smells on it is Tsukasa's scent

Tsukasa loves giving gifts to Akito even if there's no special occasion, usually some type of jewelry like earrings and the next day Akito's most likely wearing it

Obviously, they invite each other to their shows, and sometimes their other bandmates too

During WxS shows Akito's supportive and is internally loud but during VBS concerts Tsukasa is HOLLERING Akito's name and singing along if he knows the lyrics it's embarrassing but if you look closely enough you can tell it hypes up Akito a little more and he tries even harder (An has taken note of this and teases him nonstop about it)

Neither of them are a huge fan of PDA but if you stare long enough you'll probably miss a sneaky little kiss when you blink

That or if Tsukasa's in a really good mood he'll practically cling to Akito (Which is like 50% of the time tbh)

That one post I made on my side blog is real and so is the first tag

Yes Ena and Saki are supportive but holy shit Akito wants to fucking strangle Ena whenever she brings it up (This applies to An too)

Tsukasa helps Akito be more open with his feelings and Akito helps Tsukasa deal with negativity better

Around people, Akito still treats Tsukasa how he would (if Tsukasa isn't being clingy) but once they're alone Akito acts like he's touch starved and refuses to leave Tsukasa alone

Akito sometimes helps Tsukasa with practicing for his shows. He's obviously not as good but he's trying and Tsukasa appreciates his efforts

Tell Akito to say wonderhoy and he'll look at you like you're fucking insane but have Tsukasa tell him and he'll say it as unenthusiastically as he can manage

And then Tsukasa will look at him all :((( and Akito does it with more energy and "jesus fucking christ the things I do to make Tsukasa happy" (It's just a wonderhoy idk why you're so pissed /hj)

I do not understand Japanese and I am not caught up on that one event story with furry Akito so correct me if I'm wrong (about the italicized part) but before Akito gets over his fear of dogs Tsukasa always made sure they would steer clear of them and if one suddenly appeared this blond pink theatre kid is going to protect his pathetic fucking boyfriend with his life

Rui: Is that a hickey? | Tsukasa: No! It’s just a mosquito bite. | Akito, walking into the room: Hey, guys. | Rui: Hi, mosquito.

Whenever one of them stays up really late when staying over. the other tries to convince them to go to bed and cuddle/snuggle with them and it works.

Tsukasa practically begs meanwhile, if possible, Akito hugs Tsukasa from behind and basically just collapses onto him half asleep mumbling into his ear (Can you tell I'm tired it's 1 AM and I got 3 hours of sleep yesterday I'm running off of a power nap rn)

Obviously, Tsukasa can't do anything with Akito like that so he basically carries Akito to the room of whoever they're staying at

Akikasa supremacy WHO'S WITH ME AKIKASA!!!!!!! (I'm dying on a hill please)

Divider / Reply Icon made by me! ( 1 | 2 )

#the brainrot is strong #it is real #(ﾐ ᵕ ﻌ ᵕ ﾐ)┆Wanderer Writes #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #prosekai #pjsekai #project sekai colorful stage #hatsune miku project sekai #hatsune miku colorful stage #akikasa #shinonome akito #akito shinonome #tenma tsukasa #tsukasa tenma #headcanons #pjsk headcanons #I'm gonna die doing as much homework as I can now I haven't been here mentally for the last three weeks I am so far behind

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vannessa010 · 5 months

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I'm making a little something qFit oriented, and just wanted to check if this image is correct, bc as my understanding...

>>Fit is a worker of the Federation >>But, actually, is infiltrated in the Feds to gather information abt it for the islanders (or that's what they think atleast) >>But aaaactually, is secretely working for the Rebellion/Resistance, gathering some info about the islanders but mainly gathering information and acting against the Federation. >>But, he is, ACTUALLY, working for the white 2b2t facelesss person, with the mission to gather player data and more. And to accomplish it, he is using the rebellion and the feds for the player data, and is getting closer to the islanders to fulfill his mission. But, that's only what the 2b2t person may think, if they're observing him. But, qFit has actually been growing closer and closer to Ramón and qPac, and may prioritize them. Ramón already knows part of it, even though qFit was instructed to not tell anyone. So, could the 2b2t person thinks he is a quadruple agent, as he is deceiving 3 different parties alone, working for a fourth, but, in qFit's eyes, a quintuple bc he is also going slightly against the 2b2t man, and thus, deceiving 4 different parties, working for his own benefit (aka for his son and his roomate)? ...Holy hell. I'm not sure if this is correct, but, if it is... People underestimate a LOT qFit, this mess requires so much brain energy to keep up.

#qsmp #qsmp fitmc #qsmp fit #qsmp analysis #fitmc #fitmc lore #qsmp theory

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jpitha · 1 year

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Just a Little Further 17

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17

The moment I sat down on the Throne, something activated. The lights that I turned on in the room became brighter, and there were more of them. Galleries on my left and right lit up, empty now but clearly meant for the residents to see me when I make speeches or proclamations. And most surprising of all

I can see.

Everything.

I can see how many ships are docked - it's 6 counting us. Hah, we're listed as UNKNOWN STARSHIP. Hold on, I can fix that... There. Now we're listed as FarReach - Human/K'laxi exploration Starjumper.

I can see how many people are here - it's 11.5 million - huh, Rapid River Roaring wasn't lying after all.

I can see the food distribution centers - they're offline. What the? How are people getting fed? Clearly something is up there. I won't turn them on just yet until I learn more.

I can see the environmental systems... why are they running at such low output? That doesn't seem right. I think if I push here, and tweak there... There we go. That should help a great deal.

I can see... wait, what's this over here?

I can see the Gate

The Gate is locked.

How did we get through the Gate then? I mean, that means that Ottarn won't be able to get through at least. I'll have to explore that one later.

Turning away from the Gate, I look back at the Starbase. Hmm. It feels like I'm on the edge of something big. If I were to just... let go a little bit... I think I can... see...

I regain consciousness on the floor, out of breath, with Ava kneeling over me nearly in tears from panic. "Melody! Melody! Oh thank goodness you're all right!"

I sit up and look around. Ava wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. "I was so scared Melody. After you sat on the Throne, I heard noises like heavy machinery starting up, and then there was this storm of wind, and then your eyes glowed and there was a scream."

"Slow down Ava, a scream?"

"It came from everywhere. It sounded like the whole Starbase was screaming! It sounded like you were screaming. I looked up at you, and you had blood coming from your nose and ears and your mouth was open and you were glowing but your body wasn't making noise. I-I didn't know what to do, so I pulled you off the Throne."

Reaching up to my face I touch my ears, sure enough, my finger comes back wet with blood. I can feel it drying under my nose. What the hell happened?

You tried to integrate with Reach of the Might of Vzzx, but the Nanites weren't ready. You had a partial connection. Ava was correct to pull you off.

But what does it mean? What about all that stuff I saw?

When you sit on the Throne and truly integrate you become Reach of the Might of Vzzx. This is what Builders are.

Wait. Our starbases and starships are operated by AIs. You're telling me that out here they're operated by Builders?

Builders build. They rule. They are.

I look back at Ava "Thank you Ava, the Nanites tell me that you saved me." I return the hug just as tightly. "Builders are the starbases out here. They sit in the throne and become the starbase."

Holy shit. That's the missing piece!

"Ava! I know why everything looks so run down here. They haven't had a Builder on the throne in a long time. Reach of the Might of Vzzx is running on automatic! The wind you heard? The environmental systems were running at a super low setting. I turned up the air and scrubbers!"

Ava breaks the hug and looks at me wide eyed. "You mean that they... don't have AIs here, they have... humans running all the stations? As Builders?"

"Yes, I think that's how it works. A Builder, or a team of Builders lives and works at every starbase and they... become the starbase with the help of the Nanites. My Throne is like a... superpowered version of that. I can see so much more than the Starbase. I was able to perceive out into space, I could see the Gates! Ours is locked by the way, Ottarn isn't going anywhere."

"But, how did we get through then?"

I shrug "Builder magic I guess. As we learn more, we will become more proficient at operating things I think. For now, I'm going to take it easy and just try and get a handle on the basics." I move to get up and get back onto the Throne.

"No Melody! It nearly killed you!" Ava's voice trembles.

I reach for her hand and squeeze it tightly. "It's okay Ava. I know what I did wrong. I tried to go to deeply too early. The Nanites say I'm not ready to fully integrate yet, but I can get on and at least like... read the status log. Find out what needs to be done, and then make plans. I'm also going to try and reach out to FarReach, and let her know what I've found."

"Okay, if you say so." Ava plunks down next to the throne, sitting on the floor. "I'm staying right here though. If you start making the Starbase scream again, I'm pulling you off."

"Thanks Ava, please do that." I smile warmly at her. With the dried blood under my nose and down my neck, it probably doesn't look at nurturing as I meant it to.

Sitting again, I'm more prepared for it, but it's still a shock when I become the starbase again. This time, I reach out for the radio. There, okay, I see how it works. I think about the human system frequency for our Starjumpers and try and talk to FarReach.

There's a pause and a burst of static, then it clears and I hear FarReach! "This is FarReach, joint Human/K'laxi exploration Starjumper, who is this?"

"Hi FarReach!" I say brightly! "It's Melody!"

"Melody? Where are you? What are you doing? I suddenly got flooded with radio until I opened the mic to listen, and then it focused in on the standard channel."

"Sorry, that was me."

"You? Are you at a comm station?"

"Kind of? I'm Reach of the Might of Vzzx right now."

"I know you're on the Starbase Melody, where on the Starbase are you?"

"No no, I mean I am Might of Vzzx right now. I've reassumed my Throne and it turns out when a Builder does that.. they kind of become the starbase.

"Become the-- Melody, What are you doing?" FarReach sounds worried.

"Don't worry FarReach, other than the screaming - that was totally my fault, I tried to go too deep at first - it's fine. It's better than fine actually! I can see everything. I can see the Gates - they're locked by the way, I have no idea why we can traverse them. Also I can see... everything. It's tough to describe."

"Believe it or not, Melody, I have a hunch I know what you mean. You're looking at things like we see them."

"Yes! That's what I was thinking. I don't think they have AIs out here, they have Builders."

"Melody, that's... quite a lot. Is this what being an Empress is over here?"

"I think it's what being a Builder is. As Empress I think I have access to like, a higher level. I tried to access it, but Ava said I made the whole Starbase scream, and she had to pull me off the Throne."

"We heard that! That was you?" FarReach sounds worried.

"Ava said it was. Sorry if I scared everyone."

"And you got back onto the Throne?"

"Well, yes. I am Empress now. This starbase hasn't been managed in a long time. I need to read the logs and figure out how to start affecting repairs."

There's a pause at that. I bet FarReach is talking with the crew.

"So Mei'la was right. Thank you for reaching out and letting us know where you are and that you're safe. Captain Q'ari was worried when Mei'la and Fer'resi came back alone. Ava is with you?"

I look down at Ava, and she looks back up to me worried. I smile down to her and give her a thumbs up.

"Yes, Ava is here with me, she's okay too."

"Thank you Melody. Come on back when you're able. Everyone would love to hear about what you found." and FarReach closes the connection.

Huh. That was odd. She sounded distracted at the end. I wonder why.

The crew told her something she didn't like.

But what, do you suppose?

Many people in the crew do not like your new role and title. Some worry about what it means for them, others worry about what it means for things back home. Still others seethe with jealousy.

No, that can't be it. Why would they be jealous? Why would they worry about what this means for back home?

Melody, you are being naïve again. You are Empress. You can control matter. You can order people to do anything. You rule this side of the Galaxy now, and can easily rule the other again.

But it's not like I'm going to do anything bad to anyone. I'll be a good Empress. A great one even.

Great Empresses are feared as much as they are loved. More so perhaps. We can discuss this later. Look, you are seated upon your Throne. Much can be done here, call up the Gate map.

I think about a Gate map. Springing in front of me is a stylized map of the Galaxy. I recognize the spiral arms and it's actually quite pretty. A small royal blue dot is lit. That must be here.

I concentrate on the map "Show me the location of all Gates."

A flood of yellow dots appears on the map, all over the Galaxy. Far more than we had mapped out, truly there are over five hundred of them.

Wow.

"Show me currently active Gates."

A worryingly small amount of the yellow dots turns blue. Maybe seventy five of them? Interestingly there is a large cloud of blue dots over on the other side of the galaxy, back home. Other than a small swarm around here, that's the largest other location of Gates.

Even after they rejected your rule, they kept their Gates and they are some of the largest group now active. The Nanites chuckle to themselves.

Hmm. If the Gates are connected to each other - and they'd have to be in order to work then I wonder...

"Ping all Gates. Color code replies; Green as working active gates, Yellow as working but deactivated gates, Red as locked but still active gates, and Black as no reply received."

At that command, I can feel it. My... order, my command leaves the Reach and connects to the Gate. There's a sense of spreading as the command reaches out. How am I able to see the Gates so quickly? What am I seeing?

There is only The Gate. All Gates you traverse are... shadows of The Gate that exist in four dimensional spacetime. They all pass through The Gate that exists in a higher plane.

So Gate traversal is instantaneous?

Well yes. You're not moving once you enter the Gate. The Addressing Module directs the Gate where to put you in Spacetime. It takes no time, because no distance is traveled.

Wild. Did Builders make them?

Yes, long, long ago. It was one of our greatest achievements.

Okay, so I have the data, but how to interpret it. Let me try and overlay the results of the Census over the galaxy map. When I look up, my jaw drops.

Way more of the gates are green than I had figured. As in, active, operating and ready to traverse. The majority are yellow, meaning that they're currently not online, but can be brought online. There are only a few red gates, and no black gates.

The Gate system is completely intact.

Wait, what's that red gate over on the other side of the galaxy. There's a locked gate near home. The K'laxi have never reported to us they found a locked gate. I wonder if that's one we don't know about or if...

That's the Gate to Earth.

It's just locked? As in, I could unlock it and open it?

At any time, Empress.

But, we never had a Gate. We explored our system inside and outside and never found any technology - and believe me we looked. We spent millennia thinking we were alone until we met the K'laxi.

I want to unlock the Gate. Pass through it, and show everyone what I found, what I am.

You need only say it, Empress.

No. Not yet. I need to be able to go there in a way that's... befitting me.

Back to the starbase. If it has 11 something million people, then it has to be way larger than what I've seen. Show me the whole thing.

I'm shown. I see kilometers upon kilometers of halls, thousand upon thousands of living quarters, I see gardens, and parks and playgrounds and offices and... I see a whole transit system I had no idea was here! I can't believe there's a train here and I haven't ridden it yet!

Remembering Ava, I say out loud "Holy shit, this place is huge. The parts that we've seen is barely a tenth of the whole place. They have a train Ava! Let's go for a ride later!"

Ava smiles "I'd love that, Melody."

Wait a minute. I turn inwards again.

"Give me a listing of all known Starbases."

A list appears next to the galaxy map. Almost every system at one time had a Starbase at least as large as this one, some had even larger ones.

"Give me a listing of known Planets."

A slightly smaller, but still large list appears. I'm starting to feel faint. What have I dived into? There are literally tens, if not hundreds of billions of people here. Back home there around 15 billion humans spread across space, with 4 or 5 billion K'laxi and 3 or 4 billion Xenni. Combined that's...

That's more people than what I can effectively rule. What am I doing? I don't even know about this whole Starbase, let alone the Galaxy. One person can't rule a Galaxy, no matter how much they want to. What are these Nanites trying to sign me up for?

We need you to understand the immenseness of your task, and understand that we do not intend for you to rule alone. Currently, you are the only Builder known, but that never meant you were meant to be the only Builder. Make more.

W-What? I don't even have a partner! I don't even really know yet if I like men or women or both or neither! I'm barely out of my teen years, I can't make more people!

Sigh. Not like that, Melody. Use us. Use the Nanites to make Builders. You are Empress, only you will have the commanding voice, but other Builders will help you to rule. Start with that one, Ava. She already craves it. She will be a welcome and loyal addition.

I look over at Ava. She's still looking at me worriedly. She really does want to be a part of all this - whatever it's going to be.

There are others too. Q'ari wants to be involved very badly, but we don't know if the Nanites will work on K'laxi. We don't know how we feel about K'laxi Builders too.

Don't be racist. They'd do a fine job.

So you say, Empress. Invite them then.

Ugh. If I'm going to do this, the Nanites are right. I need help. I'll need more Builders. Should I do this? I want to do this, but is that the Nanites talking? Every time I let them off leash I tend to sound... intense. I wish I had some coffee.

I wish I could get some range time in.

I sigh. Am I doing this? Am I really doing this?

I think I am. I have never really wanted anything as much as I want this. As much as I want to show everyone what I can do, what I can be.

I stand up and break the connection. I feel... empty for a moment. I can see how people could get addicted to data streams like that. I stretch mightily and sit down on the floor next to Ava.

"Ava. There's a metric ton of work to be done, and I don't think I can do it all on my own. I don't want to do it all on my own. The Nanites were giving me options and I was wondering..."

As I speak, her eyes get wider and wider and she practically vibrates from excitement. She knows what I'm going to ask her.

"Do you want to become a Builder? You won't get the voice that orders people around, that's an Empress thing apparently, only one person as a time can do that. I can see why too, what happens if we both have the ability and try to use it on each other, right? Anyway. The Nanites say I can make you a Builder, and you can help me out. We'll need more Builders too. I want to try on the K'laxi too, Captain Q'ari seems like she wants in, though I don't know if she'll agree to it. Being Captain is important to her. So what do you say?"

"Yes yes yes yes! I want in!"

I hold up a hand. "This means that officially, your old life is over. It means throwing our lot in on this side of the Galaxy permanently. We can Gate home for visits or something, but it won't be for a while, and it'll be as foreigners. We will be cutting ourselves off from our old lives."

"My old life sucked ass. I want in!"

"Okay, last thing." I take a breath. "It could mean - though I hope it doesn't - that we will be seen as enemies back home. You saw the Marien's ship, it's trying to escape and is taking days to get somewhere FarReach can go in hours. FarReach alone has enough firepower to shrug off any threat we can bring to bear. If the folks back home decide to cause trouble for us, it'll be big trouble. If you throw in with me, it becomes your trouble. Our trouble.

Ava kneels down in front of me without a single bit of hesitation. "I want this, Melody. More than anything else I've ever wanted. I accept all the risks, I happily throw my old life away."

We like her. She gets it.

I stand up in front of her.

Okay then, how do we give her the Nanites?

Give her a kiss.

You are kidding me.

We are completely serious. It's the quickest way to transfer enough of us to begin the process. Plus, it's ceremonial, has an air of regal intimacy about it. Also, she'll love it.

Fine.

I reach down and gently tip her head up with my fingers, bend down and gently kiss her on the lips.

She leans in slightly and melts into the kiss.

Told you she'd love it.

"Rise, Builder."

She stands on shaky legs. "Builder Ava, it will take a day or so for the Nanites to replicate and integrate, but once they do, you will be a Builder like me, and be able to do many of the things I can do. You will be my right hand, and be my voice where I am not. You will carry out my decisions and have the power to make your own. Together with the other Builders I create, we will reunite this galaxy and show everyone our power, our might and our love."

"I am yours to command Empress."

"Excellent. Your first task is to get me my coffee supplies from FarReach, I am dying for a cup."

Part 18

#humans are deathworlders #humans are space orcs #humans go on adventure #humans are space oddities #sci fi writing #writing #humans and ai #humans and aliens #the k'laxiverse #jpitha #just a little further

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