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doriandrifting · 2 years

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Stranger Things x A Nightmare on Elm Street 2 Parallels = Byler

This is going to be a long one, but I promise it’s worth it!

So if you’ve watched Nightmare on Elm, you’ll know that Vecna was heavily inspired by Freddy Krueger. Freddy attacking children through dreams and using their trauma against them vs Vecna entering their minds and using their trauma against them. Vecna’s long hand is very reminiscent of Krueger’s knife glove. There’s also the fact that 001’s father is played by the same actor who originally played Krueger, Robert Barton Englund. There’s also like a million other reasons why this is connected but that’s just some background to make a bigger connection.

What some people may not know is the the second elm street movie is basically known as the gayest horror movie of its time. The entire movie was queer coded, but just barely tbh. And it actually created a lot of problems for the main actor who was closeted at the time.

^ Jesse is the main character in the movie and he is coded as a bisexual, or gay person depending on your interpretation, struggling to come out. Freddy exploits these struggles throughout the movie.

So the movie opens up with The Walshes (…The Wheelers… lmao) living in the house of the previous main protagonist of the first Elm Street movie. Her name was Nancy (!!!)

Now Jesse has a love interest, Lisa (…El…) but every time he tries to pursue her, his nightmares keep getting in the way. (The equivalent being Mike trying to be with El, but him being unable to say he loves her, hindering their relationship. Also, there always being a convenient plot every season that keeps Mike/El apart).

During the movie, Freddy keeps possessing Jesse in very queer ways, sending him to a gay bar, materializing when Jesse is trying to physically engage with Lisa, and eventually Jesse shows up in the middle of the night in his male friend/crush’s bed and asks him to watch and see if he gets possessed. Basically the whole damn thing is one big metaphor about his running from his queerness.

At the end of the movie, Lisa begs Jesse to fight Freddy. And she gives him this big declaration of love that allows him to break free and become his hetero self again. (I mean…this is just the inverse of the piggyback scene.)

Here’s Jesse btw:

Here’s Mike this season:

Basically there’s the scene that’s supposed to lend itself to Jesse being a bit eccentric, and queer, and he puts on the above ridiculous outfit to dance (…roller skate…). Cue everyone giving Mike a funny look and Argyle making note of his outfit.

Since we know the Duffers were referencing Elm Street this season, isn’t it strange that Mike is the one being paralleled and dressed like Jesse, not Will, the main character who’s arc this season is about being queer?

Definitely will not be surprised if Mike is Vecna’d next season and his queerness is subtextually or explicitly used while he is taunted by Vecna. But unlike in Elm Street 2 , I think this will lead to Mike coming to terms with himself once he is saved.

#stranger things #byler #mike wheeler #will byers #fan theory #season 5 #nightmare on elm street #queer coding

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abbersreads · 2 years

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Coming out

Coming out as bi to Charlie Spring

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Tw: a bit of angst? I think? And fluff

Woo it’s pride month, this school year has been all over for me. But as of rn I am bi and gender fluid. That’s why I’m making this. Also there are like no Charlie x readers (like give me what my gay heart wants please)

It’s he/them pronouns btw cuz Charlie is gay and it’s wrong to have a girl with Charlie.

Anyway carry on with the story

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Y/n pov

It was June 1st me and my boyfriend were in my room, just watching a movie. I can’t remember the name of.

I had been thinking about this day all of May.

I was going to come out to Charlie as bi. I have already said that I was queer or unlabeled, but I think I’ve figured it out.

After Nick came out to everyone I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I mean hey I find Charlie attractive, same with Imogen… ok yes she’s annoying but you can’t tell me she’s not pretty.

Carrying on

I have done a lot of tests with all of them basically pointing to bi.

All I have to do is tell him

Oh my god why is this so scary

Me and him have been together scene year 10. I probably know him better then he does.

Why is this so hard ugh

I put my head on the backboard of the bed. Being as quite as I can. I didn’t notice I was crying till I felt water on my hand.

I quite wiped it of on my shirt.

Charlie must have noticed because he sat up.

“Hey are you alright? why are you crying? What happened?” He quickly sat on my lap wiping my tears with his hands.

“I- I” I lost it. I wept into his chest.

“I have to tell you s-something” I said into his shirt

“Oh what is it, you can tell me anything you know that” he said to me with a small smile.

“I love you, you know that” he said right after

“I know it’s just, I have been thinking a lot lately about myself and-“ he was watching me. Listening to me.

“I’m bisexual” I said quietly. Looking down.

“Really? Thank you for telling me.” He aid lifting my head up to kiss me.

We pulled away

“I won’t ever see you differently okay you know that right” he said into my eyes

“Right, I love you so much” I brought him into a hug.

“I love you too, now lets watch the rest of the movie. It’s kinda interesting” he pulled me into the covers of the bed. Cuddling up with me.

I couldn’t be happier.

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I just wanted to write something for pride I hope it’s fine.

#charlie spring #heartstopper #charlie spring heartstopper #charlie spring x reader #bisexual

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dballzposting · 2 years

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Can u plz enlighten us with some of ur gohan and videl Truths they are my#favorite

O.M.G. BUT I HAVE NOTHING NEW THO.... I LOVE THEM AS WELL but I havent thought about them in a while ...!

Well I think that they are awesome. And I've already posted about how they're both fucked up and they can smell the blood on each other and they are the only ones for each other and so like I dont need to say all that again...

They agree on many things and they also have many many polite disagreements. For example they will read books and take totally different things from it ... and then they'll have polite discussions about it becasue they really value differing viewpoints.

What's more they really believe that a marriage is a partnership of equals, and maybe it's easy to think that it's the classic Wifey-Owns-Him thing, but Videl really believes that they should be equal so she makes a point OFTEN to get him to voice some goddamn opinion. Becasue Gohan is pretty passive and hes honestly comfortable taking the backseat often (depending on context) becasue it takes the stress of making decisions off of him. And so she makes him opine becasue she doesnt want to walk all over people.

She likes to sharply voice her set-in-stone opinions BUT they're not really set-in-stone becasue she loves to have discussions with you, and (depending on context) she doesnt want people to just buckle. She wants to express her strength of character without having to hold back and she wants people to meet her strength with enough of their own to not only handle it, but to generate some new energy and life from the exchange.

Pan was 100% an accident btw. We know this by the way that when Videl got pregnant she didnt want to tell Gohan straight away and she hid it for a while. If they were trying for a kid then she would have been like OH MEIN GOTT GOHAN well no she wouldnt say it like that shed be like GOHAN-KUN (she still calls him -kun even after theyre married) ("babygirl" is an easy and acceptable substitute) IT WORKED.

But she didnt say that so ........... They werent planning on having kids but they seemed pretty happy about it so it worked out. But they also didnt have any more. Becasue again they were not planning on it. And Pan was an accident.

BTW Gohan had a homoerotic moment with Shrapner in the locker room of high school once and he never says anything about it ever until one night he and Videl are watching a movie together and the movie ends and the credits are rolling and the room is completely dark save for the TV screen and they're both too comfy to get off of the couch and Gohan opens his mouth and begins rambling about that moment he had with Shrapner in the locker room.

And Videl is really into the fact that theyve known each other for like 5 years and they can still completely surprise each other. Videl has a bit of an interest in homoerotic moments btw. She doesnt know much about "gay theory" (as she calls it) (respectfully) (she learns more later it think... Like she starts reading books) (she already knows more than she thinks she knows though) (she assumes she doesnt know bc she assumes that she couldmt know so shes very dutifully keeping an open mind about her ignorance) (she knows some terms and labels tho) (that's going to come up later in this sentence get ready) but shes into homoerotic moments and the nature of it and shes had some attractive, fleeting moments with some women before and when pressed she'd consider herself "heteroflexible" and she'd offer her opinion on how bisexuality is a viable natural state for a human to be in.

Gohan doesnt know much abt all of that and even after years of he and his wife keeping each other's minds open and reading books and stuff, Gohan would still default to his mother's values when conversing with others becasue it's tried and true and easier. Whereas Videl develops sex-positive politics, with her own caps and strictness roping it into something unique to her. She believes in the individual's right to not only do what they want but to express it, make art of it, sing it to the world; but also she's with Gohan in that The Act Should Be Kept Behind Closed Doors and probably shouod not be discussed openly. But also she wants to introduce a woman into her and Gohan's marriage but that's probably never gonna happen...... MAYBE MY SAIYAN OC BULRUSH COULD GIVE THEM A HAND..? No... she is so not either of their types .. Plus that is just not the relationship I want them to have. I want Gohan and Videl to view her as barely-relevent family who lives within distance so that's why they know of each other but they're not close .. bulrush is an easy talker so the one time in 9 years that she visited she had lots to say .. But it was all sort of draining.

Oh and of course Gohan is okay with her cigar smoking becasue that's not going away. Hes not a fan of the scent but he manages to remain rigidly neutral about it for the rest of his life. One time she got into fun flavored cigars and he much preferred that. But it didnt last long.

And shes mostly OK with his Chuzzles addiction becasue it's not really an addition hes just really into spending hours every single day playing Chuzzles. They're in the car coming back from some place and Gohan does a goofy shudder and goes "Ooh! I gotta go home and get on the Chuzzles!" (How to refers to playing chuzzles) and then they drive home so that he can do that ...

Oh my GOD he LOVES Chuzzles SO MUCH UGHHHH. She wont touch the stuff because the few times he got her to play it felt like it might be a comeback of her old PacMan addiction and SHE'S TRYING TO MOVE ON FROM THAT ......

Thanks for asking. Anytime man

#dballz posting #dballz asks #long post

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sluggishslugcrimes · 3 years

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More Souyo headcanons because I sold my soul to the fox guardian to max out their soul link. But like,,, adding more of the friends and the ships I ship with them lol

Yosuke and Yu have their own sets of nightmares, Yu needs skin-on-skin contact like holding a hand or resting his forehead on Yosuke shoulders (Yosuke wears loose shirts so his shoulder is always showing), as where Yosuke just needs grounding words and sometimes to be hold.

Their friends have their own ways of going through all of the things they went through with the murders, tv world, and such.

Though Yosuke's confession went off the plan, Kanji finally building up the courage to ask out Naoto in a cute but painfully awkward way, but none of them has anything on Chie's confession to Yukiko was... Memorable. Chie had lost her ability to speak due to the fears of ruining their friendship (even though everyone who helped her practice said Yukiko actually liked her back and to go for it), became frazzled, yelled she loved steak, ran away, it started to rain, Yukiko chased after her, multiple people in the group slipped on their asses, and then chie did confessed finally in the rain however leaning down for a kiss Yukiko loses balance and both get covered in mud, goes to the inn for everyone to wash up and the next day they all caught a cold except for teddie.

Their sexuality and gender identity (my opinion, if yours is different that's cool please share 🥺)

Yu- Pansexual because of course he didn't see gender, he saw husband material in the trash, and Genderfluid because I don't care that cross dressing moment awakening this part of him and like terrible timing in the middle of a murder cases but gender identities don't come in good timing. Pronouns: he/she/they mostly he and they.

Yosuke: this man is bisexual, first nobody calls their friends partners ironically unless you are not straight and don't bring up cowboy movies into this there are gay cowboy films, v-necks all season long, talks about yu a bit much, headphones, has zero balance, his room being a mess, in mostly all of Yu's dancing scenes and his dance scenes too, your affection, and lastly he rolled up his sleeves. He's a disaster bi and I will die on this hill.

Kanji- pansexual, I know him being straight and liking stuff that normally label you as gay and I got to agree with that like whatever you want, however I love him as pan because it feels right to me.

Naoto- Demisexual, I am a firm believer that Naoto is Demi and when getting to know Kanji they fell in love with him. They are non-binary, pronouns are she/they tho since she/they are not called they as much I'll be referring to them as that because my reasons.

Chie- lesbian. I ain't got to say much, she's totally a lesbian and is in the middle of butch and femme presenting.

Yukiko- also Lesbian, I'm sorry I can't see her liking a guy and like,,, we all saw her's and Chie's shadow scenes and them rescuing each other like,,, not a hetro explanation to be seen.

Rise- graysexual, she felt attracted to Yu but like she could see how much Yu liked Yosuke but little hurt feelings she's fine, beside she doesn't really need any partners as badly as she puts on sometimes her friends and family are more than enough! She's also mtf trans because fuck you I say so let me just have my trans babies!

Teddie uhhh well Teddie is Teddie he doesn't have a sexuality if you are pretty or even handsome he'll flirt with you, also I am sure he has no gender but he present male because it feels right and like he was really comfortable in the cross dressing moment so like he just exist to be a one-of-kind Teddie.

Speaking of Teddie, this man lives with the Dojima's to protect Nanako as a big brother! Yu is very proud of him and grateful for him wanting to protect his little sister/cousin.

Yu, Yosuke, and now Teddie can sing the Junes store theme by heart. It's still Nanako's favorite store and yes she's disappointed in her big bro and Yosuke getting banned for one.

Kanji becomes a fashion designer and he makes his friends wedding attire and clothes for Nanako and send them to her because she deserves cute dresses for her family and damnit she's so cute and when he visits he goes to her and just makes her look even more ADORABLE and send pics of her new outfits to Yu and Dojima and listen okay, these two have been seen crying at their phone because NANAKO IS JUST SO CUTE AND HAPPY AND THEY JUST WANT HER TO PROTECT HER PRECIOUS SMILE AND JUST SHUT UP NANAKO DESERVE TO BE SPOILED AND HAPPINESS FOR YEARS AND YEARS AHHHHH

Yukiko and Chie's cooking has gotten better, Yu are Kanji helped them not make anymore mystery food x again. Yosuke stutters at the utter mentioned of that name.

Yu looks calm, but he's holding back his pure feral rage. He keeps it inside him and then he'll die.

Kanji and Yosuke 🤝 getting bolder around their loves

Yukiko and Yu have thrown movie nights in where they kidnap their friends, use teddie to get through the tv world, and watch movies together and nobody else question it.

Rise came out on her being tran, and Yu became her bodyguard because he saw half the hate by some fans and like she has some already but no he literally placed a hand on her shoulder and said "I want to go with you." and he did went and broke a few knee caps and def met Ryuji and yes in pq2 he def remember Yu because you can't forget someone with a silver bowl cut busting someone knees (Ryuji is trans too btw, because) ((also no knee busting, he wanted to but legally he couldn't... Lol new au delinquent! Yu the true delinquent but yeah he was just there making sure Rise tour was safe so he didn't have to worry about her))

Yu is a mama bear, he calls up everyone ever once in a while and kill not think twice about murdering you if you decided to choose violence towards his friends.

Yu also takes being an uncle seriously, he has Dojima has an uncle he has standards to meet.

Kanji saw Rise new costumes line and he said "these are ugly give me three days" and now he makes her costumes.

Kanji also personally tailors Naoto's clothes because they are still so short-

Naoto gets top surgery, shut up let me self-project here.

Chie also gets top surgery, she loves her chest flat she's more confident and like,,, men shirts,,, a new possiblity.

Yu unironically sings the little mermaid under the sea while cleaning and nobody knows why.

Everyone makes Naoto eat because they just forget to being so deep in a case.

Yosuke and chie 🤝 sleeping in weird and almost uncomfortable looking positions

Yu and Yukiko 🤝mildly worried about their partners.

Kanji reads to Naoto as a thing that relax them and like cuddling with Kanji is like heaven (get it?)

Yukiko has a Halloween type of stuff for the inn's to gain more tourist but like there's three levels of being scared. 1. Very small that won't cause heart attacked, 2. Middle scare, 3. HOLY SHIT level.

Yosuke can draw but like only his friends know this, and like in the crushing years there's a sketch book that is just Yu, everything Yu, and like Chie found it and like impressed but also like felt it because she has written C x Y since like middle school okay.

#yosuke hanamura #yu narukami #souyo #kanji tatsumi #naoto shirogane #kannao #rise kujikawa #chie satonaka #yukiko amagi #yukichie #teddie #p4 #p4g #my headcanons #nanako dojima

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tkc-info · 2 years

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19th century characters in the 21st century

Basically a paja mental about characters from the 19th century randomly waking up in current times (next gen).

AARON

He fucking tears up when he sees the 21st century and Madeleine living in it

He's had to fear for his life (because homosexuality was a crime under capital punishment) ever since he found out he was gay so seeing how society has changed (as he said it would) moves him to tears, he full on wails

The first thing he does after meeting Madeleine is going to pride (let's say it's June lol) and no one understands why this random dude is simply staring on with an odd face but Aaron's simply basking in the knowledge that the times had changed, that he in some way contributed to it by uplifting any queer people he met while in his timeline and that the struggles he and the others like him were worth something and look those two men are kissing

That being said, he is a Victorian man and is a tad bit (read: very) shocked by the kink side of pride

Aaron is general is shocked by the 21st century because he didn't expect to see pictures of near-naked people on the streets nor the types of clothing people wore

He hates being gay. Straight-up hates it because *points at Gaylord* call him gay and die he'd much rather be called a homosexual and that's how he calls himself

Sydney and him get married FAST and they choose to hyphenate

Onto the kinship lol

Finding out Madeleine is the biggest relief of his life, but relief is too small a word to encapsulate what he feels

Seeing that Madeleine was able to get married to a woman? Yeah he's happy beyond description and adores Diana instantly

It takes him a long while to stop referring to Madeleine as his fiancée (and Madeleine also struggles)

He fucking adores that Madeleine named her daughter after his mother (aka what Daniel would've named had he been a girl) and is 100% willing to hear Adelaide after Coraline

Btw Aaron loves Cal for reasons I can't say because *spoilers*

Aaron tries to be the best uncle to Marcus and Adelaide

Aaron spends a lot of time trying to understand the lgbt community because he sees Marcus being omnisexual, Adelaide being bisexual, Aaliyah being aroace, and Yeah being non-binary and there's a momentary short-circuit in his mind trying to process how little he knew and how much he has to learn

Also Aaron *loves* how accepting straight people (particularly Saz) are of his homosexuality, he meets Hunter, Arash, I was going to say Sohrab lol, Sekros, Cal, Atalanta, etc and is just so happy that a good chunk of the population is treating him like a human being with inherent worth and not someone unnatural. He loves the straight people in mirror

His overall satisfaction with the 21st century is 10000/10

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SYDNEY

Mostly like Aaron but in a more calmed way he doesn't cry much

But he kisses Aaron in the middle of the street and feels this power and freedom coursing through him when the knowledge of 'I can do this again and again and I won't have my employer (Aaron's father) legally murdering me' sinks in

He's also very happy that poor people aren't that poor as frequently and that (the UK) has stuff like public healthcare

He also hates being called gay

After marrying Aaron, the next thing he does is getting an education to have chances of becoming an author

He and Hunter are good friends idk why but they are they just have that vibe

Unlike Aaron, Sydney doesn't have the time for Adelaide's crush on Coraline. Not in a bad way, he just finds it too funny and Adelaide's struggle to find 'the right clothes' too nonsensical

He loves seeing Madeleine's life in the 21st century, he thinks motherhood and having a wife suit her

Also he was the one who tended to the wounds Gaylord inflicted on her, so he's at awe at how calm and happy Madeleine is now

Listen, Sydney had trouble understanding the technology behind corsets, he does NOT understand computers or phones or whatever

The first time he saw a movie he got very alarmed because he thought there were real, tiny people trapped in the screen

Then he saw Marcus watching a film were two guys were having sex and nearly faints because 'yOuR sOn iS cOnSUmInG pOrNoGrAPhY mAdeLeInE'

(ofc hearing Marcus --and Yrah-- talk about people he finds attractive leaves him like this :0 because Marcus is already dating someone and in Sydney's time admitting you were attracted to other people was something people did not do openly)

Really he loves how open people are compared to the Victorians but he could do with much less nudity, the only one he wants to see naked is Aaron (his husband!!!!!!)

His overall satisfaction with the 21st century is 9/10 (he really does not like technology)

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MARCUS

When he learns that Madeleine named his son after himself, he is overcome by an overwhelming wave of relief and happiness

Also he loves that his nephew's partner is genderqueer. Marcus loves Yrah

He tries really hard to build a relationship with Madeleine to get to know his older sister (he also tried to apologise but Madeleine would have none of it because he was a fucking child)

He's as excited about LGBT rights as Aaron and specifically tries to learn everything about trans people to the point where he could do a test (the Spanish version, not the multiple choice thing they have in America) and ace it

He's very happy about what it could all mean to Camille and makes clear he'd be there for his husband regardless of what he wants to do

That being said, Camille and him have Talks. Since their marriage was arranged so that Camille could have a space he could safely express his masculinity in, and he technically doesn't need that safe space anymore. Marcus wonders whether Camille would want to get a friendly divorce and find himself a husband

In the end they decide they still want to stay married. They're two bros in a marriage because they're straight (yes, Yrah, Yitian, and Marcus (Zubairu) joke about that constantly)

(Marcus tells them that marriage means different things for different people, and to Camille and him it is just the expression of the height of platonic love --Odhran and Aaliyah overhear that and tell him Camille and him are in a qpr)

(Marcus acknowledges that Camille and him are in a qpr but 'thank you very much I'm still going to call mine a marriage')

Technically, Marcus could date if he so wanted to but he refuses to flirt with anyone nor be flirted on (sOrRy i'M mArRiEd tO mY bEsT fRieNd AnD i fEeL wEiRd aBoUt ChaNgInG tHe dYnAmiC)

When random people see him in the street, they think he looks like an asshole because he looks like a certain German's wet dream but whoever talks to him realised in an instant that he's super respectful in the same way a gentleman ideally should be and always calls out people's bullshit

But really he acts like a gentleman, Marcus is The Gentleman™ (and then you've got his nephew lol)

He's horrible with technology and he's always asking Camille to help him even if Camille is as lost as him

His overall satisfaction with the 21st century is 10/10

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CAMILLE

His first reaction is to support Marcus through everything he's going through with meeting Madeleine because what type of husband is Camille if not the best?

When Marcus is a bit better the realisation of what the 21st century entails for him hits him like a truck

At first he's in shock because Camille has as much faith in humanity as me in Spain's economy

It's all very overwhelming in a good way because he couldn't even have dreamt about it (really, I can't really explain how much of a hardcore pessimist Camille was)

It takes him a while to let his true gender identity through when he's meeting random people but when it does, his mental health improves a lot

Now, I can't discuss Camille without talking about Yitian

While I was researching about trans people and their experiences, I watched a video in Spanish where an (old) man said "Whenever I see trans boys, I get jealous in a healthy way because they're strong, they've begun their hormone treatment sooner, they go to the gym, etc" that is how Camille feels about Yitian because they're the opposite sides of the same coin (Camille could never start hormone treatment, Yitian could; Camille is not cis passing, Yitian is *very* cis passing; Camille's parents would've never supported him, Yitian's parents literally sat by his side and helped him choose his name --I have this headcanon that Morgan vetoed the first one for personal reasons a little boy should not be told but that is a story for another day)

Camille is just at awe at Yitian and very happy for him (Yitian --and Yrah-- has a lot of respect and admiration for Camille, too)

Camille and Yitian's relationship is beautiful and Yitian tells him about hormone therapy and stuff

Camille *thinks* about all that stuff and talks to Marcus about it (rubber duck debugging? Marcus is the duck)

Like Marcus, he treats dating like the pest

Aaliyah and Odhran tell him about QPRs and he begins philosophing (it has just come to my attention that that isn't a verb in English, well idc) about platonic love to the point where Aaliyah and Odhran, who just wanted to share their type of relationship, end up with these (✿☉｡☉) (╬☉д⊙)⊰⊹ฺ faces, get a headache, and refuse to speak about QPRs for a good week

Were he not with Marcus, Camille would dream of marrying the creators of YouTube

I mean, the moment he discovers channels like jubilee or those educational channels that teach you about philosophy/history/politics/etc he becomes obsessed because that's basically free education and if loves learning new info

Just picture him sitting cross-legged on a sofa with his husband laying his head on his lap while Camille watches a YouTube video on some random philosopher and that's a good portion of how he spends his evenings (Marcus, ofc, understands nothing but is happy just seeing his husband so interested)

Aside from YouTube, he hates technology. With a passion

(everyone is just happy he lived long enough to see cars and planes otherwise it would have been impossible to get him to travel via human ways)

Idk Camille is just like the wise man everyone who knows everything and is super cool and collected

His overall satisfaction with the 21st century is 9'75/10 (read: Sydney)

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GAYLORD (I had to)

He's the pest

He's considered a criminal in Mirror from the very moment he opens his eyes

In the event he escapes Aboveground, he'll quickly be recognised as the groomer that he is and sent to prison

Bye bye Gaylord we hate you here

#idek why I wrote this #anyways this won't ever happen but whatever

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vidavalor · 3 years

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SamBucky people... a balm for the broken-hearted here...

About what the producers/directors, etc are saying...

I’m not going to say that their approach to this does any service to anybody-- *including* the studio morons who can’t see that they could make $ by having more LGBTQIA characters in their stories (and that seems to be their primary motivation so...)

The thing is, once the people involved in the show define a character’s sexuality, they are also doing something else-- they are also specifically saying what a character *isn’t*. If the producers say that Bucky is bisexual, then there are fans out there who are going to feel betrayed. I’m fairly certain there are maybe like I dunno five? fans who actually think that Bucky is straight (lol) but fans tend to ascribe whatever their wishes for a character are onto that character. They project far, far more than what a show’s canon actually suggests. Think about how, as SamBucky shippers, if the producers said in an interview tomorrow that Sam is asexual, you’d be disappointed because then it would feel in violation of canon to ship SamBucky in the way you already were. (BTW, if a show doesn’t make *some* character asexual at some point soon.... grr.) Would it still be a great show? Of course! Would we still love Sam? I would hope so because Sam is awesome! But you can see my point which is that confirming one thing eliminates something else. Producers don’t want to do that because they don’t want to alienate fanbases. They want as many people as possible to watch their stuff so they traffic in vagueness with most characters, with only cishet ships really getting any daylight as canon because that is still how the majority of people identify. Is this good? God, no...

Marvel is also really the worst with it. The comics, often written decades earlier, were often more progressive than the MCU is. But this doesn’t mean that there is a lack of *intent* in how something is made. As a writer, I can tell you that TFATWS is written with romance beats-- not the story beats even of a buddy cop drama. That could maybe get you through the first two episodes. Past that, it’s a romance. More than that, it’s a damn *Hallmark* romance, minus a Christmas tree. TFATWS is one cookie baking scene away from Sam & Bucky having made out under a gazebo at the Delacroix Dancing Reindeer Festival or something. The actors are clearly acting with intent-- this isn’t just Stan & Mackie’s “natural chemistry” or what have you. There is no universe on earth in which the actors, the director, the producers, the *studio*, looked at the dailies (early rough cut of filmed scenes) for the boat scene where Bucky reaches for Sam’s hips and went “oh, this will definitely come across as Bucky isn’t the slightest bit interested in men”. There is no way that a scene of two guys rolling in a flower field was not meant to contain a heaping dose of homoeroticism. And those are just two of the examples-- if I went on and got into actual subtle ones, I’d be recapping *every single Sam and Bucky scene* in TFATWS and you all saw it.

For an example of how this attitude can exist and not be kind of toxic to a fandom, anyone who hasn’t seen it already should go check out Good Omens. If you think SamBucky is a love story, wait until you watch an actual enemies-to-friends-to-married couple that includes a 6,000 year slow burn and is one of the most romantic stories ever filmed (all while being insanely smart and funny at the same time.) There’s no overt declaration of love, no kiss but there is also absolutely, positively zero doubt that this angel and this demon (who are each a little of both, really) are over the moon crazy in love with one another. When this is put to the co-writer of the novel & producer of the series, Neil Gaiman, he affirms that it is a love story-- that Crowley and Aziraphale love one another. Even though the vast-- and I mean vast-- majority of people watching it will see it as a romantic love, the Good Omens fanbase has people who see different things in the relationship. There are a lot of fans who are into the potential asexuality of the characters. (Personally, I don’t think this works-- not because I have an issue with asexuality because I don’t but because there’s some fairly overt examples of sexual attraction between the two. Anyone who has seen it or will see it... Aziraphale in the Bastille. Enough said.) Anyway, the point is that there are fans whose interpretation differs from the others and, in a spirit of a state of being supportive of the freedom to be who you are which is really a major Good Omens theme anyway, the producers will simply say that it is a love story and that the two male-presenting leads love one another. Sound familiar?

It’s what Marvel is trying to do with TFATWS and SamBucky. The difference is the tone. Good Omens is a community full of positive LGBTQIA representation and love for all people and everyone involved with the writing of the novel and the production of the show really reflects that attitude. Marvel.... doesn’t have the best track record with this stuff. Granted, these are not comparable things. Good Omens is the ultimate in niche-y stuff-- it’s a long-running and large fanbase but compared to Marvel, it’d fill a thimble. Marvel is trying for a big tent approach to its movies and tv shows-- to have something for everyone eventually-- but the problem with this is that it doesn’t really give anyone much of anything that is well-defined... and that’s kind of their goal. They want you to be able to see what you see in things. It doesn’t mean that they aren’t actively trying to create things for you to see but it does mean that most of the stuff they make that is not a cishet relationship could have an entire romantic arc for characters-- and TFATWS does-- but it’s also going to leave open doors all over the place to try to attract the most viewers.

By that definition, TFATWS is shockingly gay. There are an enormous amount of tells built into the story to lead the viewer in that direction. Bucky didn’t want to go on the one date he went on with a woman and ran out of it in the middle, after talking about guy profiles on dating sites. Sam has been in 89 pieces of canon and other than a howyoudoin? at Black Widow that goes nowhere-- in front of another guy who was from the 1940s-- Sam hasn’t blinked at a woman. Neither of them get actual love interests in TFATWS but for one another. They spend the entire series proving themselves to themselves so they can prove themselves to one another. The list is endless.

No matter what they’re saying Bucky’s sexuality is or isn’t or what Sam and Bucky’s romance is or isn’t, they’re just dancing around things to try to keep from becoming “the gay Marvel show” in the media and keep viewership numbers up because, sadly, there are still too many people who won’t watch a show about hot, gay superheroes for some reason I do not understand...

So if you’re feeling a little faint of heart, just keep in mind that you can believe your own eyes and these two are in love, no matter what crazy verbal gymnastics the people who made this show for you are doing to try to pretend they didn’t just write you a six-hour long gay superhero Hallmark movie.

#sambucky #captain america #the falcon #the winter soldier #the white wolf #sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #marvel #mcu

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prismhibiscusrosemary · 4 years

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the owl house characters described by my friend @thelostbiscuits who has never seen toh(all this was over text and i copied it word for word btw): the bold is me noting significant things in the conversation

luz: enby lesbian uhhh theyre probably assertive, confident, painfully gay, lives off of strawberry uncrustables and peace tea they’re nice tho

king: what is the dog doinnn he and enby lesbian are friends, he's comedic relief, pretty chill eda: you thought you could just show me catras grandma and get away with it catra but shes old and tired? willow: she is baby, she isnt that smart but she tries and we love her- very nice :)) she cares about people

gus: he's friends with glasses chick(willow), he also cares a lot but he gets into a lot of trouble amity: oh i know her too because your gay ass reblogs all their ship art shes gay for enby lesbian (lmao they aren’t wrong). she's tough but like you get to know her and shes not that tough? tsundere but not anime lol. OH i feel like shes like pearl from su a little bit lilith: okay first of all im in love with them. she's serious- basically a trad goth girl from the 90s, chill but takes no bs viney: hmMMmMmmm mom vibes, probably gives really good advice. i cant think of much else for her ooP- she looks exactly like my stepmom sjhdfh- jerbo: he reminds me of greg heffley but idk are hints allowed HDJKD- (i gave them the hint of “plants vs zombies” at this point lol) hmmmmmmm i feel like he's a closeted bi. just gives off those vibes, also kind of a nerd? he might be really smart. he might also just be a straight guy that im looking too deep into the soul of i cant tell barcus: what is the dog doingggg (i told them he’s a witch on the boiling isles hoping it’d clear it up a bit and it kinda worked) prophet cat hyena dog,,,,, im thinking he's pretty wise is he friends with blue haired bisexual queen(lilith)? i feel like he might be (i told them he’s friends with jerbo and viney) oh i see that! wait are they siblings?? (i said no they’re classmates) and they were classmates edric: bro he has to be related to blue haired queen(lilith) uhhhh just judging on the face smug as all hell. annoying but we love him anyways emira: why the fuck do they all look related uhhHhhHHHHhh (i told them that ed and em are siblings) she's giving me very much older sister vibes (which she probably is older than teal haired boy(edric)), confident, has her shit together (i told them ed and em are twins) hmmm she might be mischevious too but a little less so than the dude

boscha: evil >:D she's kind of like the one princessy villain from the power puff girls, maybe kind of pretentious, the others really do try to be her friend tho hooty: HAH- how do i even judge him hes just. he. uhhhhhh he baby honestly, i love him a lot principal bump: god that man is so fucking dusty uHHHhHHHhh salad fingers but a man- "i cRaVe rUsTy sPoOns". he's staring into my soul im sorry i can't rate him ive been stunned to my core (it was at this point that i lost my shit and started cackling into my pillow) look at his fucking finger omg emperor belos: ��👁👁” as a,,,, being?????? what is it?????????and like,, theyre super mysterious. i love how we started off with like soft characters and we've descended into purgatory with salad fingers and the grim reaper

mattholomule: oh cool neville longbottom uhhhhh he is also dusty, you wouldnt know him but he kind of reminds me of upchuck from daria(for context i haven’t watched daria). i dont trust him he looks like he would steal my money. the hair is what gave me neville (i told them i thought they’d say he looked like a child drug dealer) HE DOES LMAOOOO- kikimora: oh look its me we are soul siblings i relate uhhhh theyre like a little rat but not in a bad way,,, scuttle-y and kind of quiet warden wrath: WHAT THE HELL DUDE,,,,,,,, LMAOOO NOT A WHOLE ASS PLAGUE DOCTOR THAT COULD FIT INTO A HORROR MOVIE how do i eVEN RATE H- i cant even s e e them,,, what do they even do does he even go here? OH he works for grim reaper guy (i confirmed this) does he kill people for him that would be cool (i told them he does occasionally and that he runs a prison) wow i-

tibbles: he's a merchant :)) pretty good salesman HE'S A CAPITALIST PIG HAHA but yeah he's good at his job and nice owlbert: The Owl Of The House.he is small but he knows things, many things (i asked if that was it) ,,,, yes he has seen many tragedies

the bat queen: WHAT THE HELL IS THAAAAT (i legit just said “the bat queen”) NO FUCKING WAY THIS IS THE SAME DAMN SHOW LMAOOOOO evil ass goth humpty dumpty she would kick your ass and that concludes @thelostbiscuits‘s summary of the owl house lmao

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blood-and-poetry · 4 years

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Can you tell us your opinion on the new Rebecca? I have still yet to see it (I know the plot ofc) but as much as I was hoping for a good adaptation, I was fearing it was going to be poor (bc, well...Netflix...)

Hey there anon. Well I'm very opinionated so take this with a grain of salt and it's totally fine if people enjoy the movie (I like a lot of objectively "bad" movies too so I don't judge lol) or disagree with me. Don't want to fight, just saying my opinion. Spoiler warning for everyone who doesn't know the story.

First of all I want to start with something a bit less terrible but still something that bothered me: I think the overall mood of the movie is kinda... wrong. To be precise: there isn't really a mood. There is no sense of darkness or thrill or drama. I especially didn't like the costume design. The visuals are beautiful for sure. It wasn't terrible but it didn't make me feel something either.

Much more troubling to me: The narrator and Maxim were miscast in my opinion (the actors are fantastic! No hate for them, only for the casting director) or at least the roles are very poorly interpreted. They are sweet and lovely and nice and gorgeous. Which fits perfectly into what this 2020 adaption wants to be: a sexy, cutesy love story.

But it doesn't fit into the relationship from the book/other adaptions that should be more influenced by the narrators insecurities, class differences, the age difference (which doesn't exist in the movie btw) and her being "plain" (in comparison to the ever present Rebecca). Maxim really is a nice gentleman and so in love with the narrator from the beginning. There is no questioning it, no hesitation, no insecurity. The power dynamic between them is barely visible (if there is any) and all of that sets the entire movie into a whole other mood from the start. This movie wants to be a love story so bad.

And then there is my beloved Mrs Danvers (might get really subjective here). To make it short: a lot of gay coding got erased. I know this has been said by others on here before but HOW can a 2020 movie be less gay than a movie from the 1940s (and both were directed by straight men)? I already see new Rebecca/Mrs Danvers and narrator/Mrs Danvers fanfiction coming in and that's great. Yay Rebecca fandom, the director couldn't erase all of the gay vibes. But we could have had so much more! If it wasn't for the straight male director. I need to be *that* person and point that out because that's basically what this movie is: watching/reading Rebecca from the viewpoint of a straight dude who doesn't know nuance and doesn't care for the context of the piece of art he is interpreting. We could have had a movie that got a bit more daring, that dared to speak and show what could only be whispered for years and years.

Gay coding in old movies and books is such a passion of mine. The LGBT community has been so drawn to Rebecca since the book but mainly since Hitchcocks movie adaption and more so after the musical adaptions. My gay and lesbian friends alike consider it a "classic" and it's such a huge part of lesbian and gay culture/media. Daphne de Maurier was at the very least bisexual and already uncomfortable with being a woman at that time but even more so with being a woman that's attracted to other women. As someone struggling with internalized homophobia and misogyny myself I always felt like she was expressing these things (maybe subconsciously) in Rebecca and especially with Mrs Danvers.

I would have loved to see a movie with as much depth as the book, with all the nuance it had. But yes, I would have also loved something a bit more... gay. Something that would make a modern lesbian/wlw audience feel the same excitement and "oh is she...? Were they...?" that an earlier audience felt with the first movie. But instead it feels like the little subtext, the little gay coding we got was not even an after thought. In this movie it just feels like something that slipped in by just filming scenes from the book without giving it any thoughts or thinking about implications. There is no depth to it, no feeling, no implications.

Kristin Scott Thomas as Mrs Danvers was amazing (yes I will reblog lots of gif sets because hot damn). I don't doubt any actors in this movie but she was actually great for the role she had. But Mrs Danvers almost felt out of place. Some people explained it better than I can but... When you don't understand important aspects of the story, the author, the societal norms of that time, the implications, the cultural meaning of du Maurier... Then you can't write or direct Mrs Danvers right. And that's what it felt like to me.

I don't like to compare old and new adaptions of books because a new take on something isn't automatically a bad take! I'm very open minded about media and I also enjoy a lot of "bad" movies or shows. But this wasn't just a different take. This was tone deaf, completely ignorant regarding historic and societal context and plain boring.

So yea my very personal opinion: the movie was boring. There are much more thrilling, exciting adaptions out there (not even mentioning the great source material itself) and this movie just felt unnecessary to me. I'm sorry this got so long and again: I don't want to attack anyone who liked the movie. (Especially if you are gay and will write fanfiction... Please enjoy the movie further so you can write more ff i can read lol).

This is just an expression of my disappointment.

#i just dont want men to do movies anymore #thank you for coming to my ted talk #sorry this got messy #anon #rebecca 2020 #mine #mp

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thehmn · 5 years

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There are a lot of alien races in the Marvel Cinematic Universe but we know very little about most of them at this point. We do visit a few of their home worlds though, so I thought it would be fun to take a look at how they each treat gender and sex. Keep in mind, I will be going by movie canon, but with an eye on the comic canon if there’s anything in the movies to support it.

The Sovereign

This race doesn’t exist in the comics. Adam and Ayesha were created by rogue human scientist so there’s no culture to speak of. The only thing that’s a little interesting about them with regards to gender is that Ayesha was originally a man. He broke out of his birthing pod too early and appeared as a silver man, then re-podded himself and reemerged many years later as Ayesha. That would imply that all people created this way spend a stage as silver men, then turn into golden men, and if left long enough in the pod becomes golden women.

The movie makes up a society from whole cloth. We often talk about how gender is a construct, and that seems doubly true for the Sovereign. They create all their members in birthing pods and consider sex dirty, so they have no reason to continue making men and women. They could make one perfect, sexless gender but for some reason they consider it important to keep up the appearances of gender, even though gender seem to play a very small part in most Sovereign’s lives.

But there is one small thing that hints to gender inequality. They say that fighting and physical conflict is degrading and below them, so it’s interesting that all their guards are male and at the top of their community sits a woman (we know she answers to someone but not who they are). On all other levels of society men and women seem equal, even dressing largely the same, but women won’t lower themselves to the level of physical fighting, only remote controlled space battles. Again, if it’s because men are stronger they could just make stronger women, but no. That implies men are considered to be slightly lower than women.

With regards to sex, it’s implied that they want to be asexual but for some reason haven’t been able to breed out sexual desire completely, so they probably have a very shame based culture where they shame each other into staying “pristine”.

Xandarians

This race is very human in both looks and culture and are what I’d call “soft fascists”. They are benevolent and love their interracial nuclear families but rule with an iron fist, politicians and soldiers wear the same outfits, and while everything appears good on the surface they also run a barbaric prison which they know is an overcrowded hellhole filled with rape and murder but continue to put people in it anyway (Btw, did anyone else notice that even though they lump men and women together in the prison, the men still direct their sexual violence at each other?). Their head of state is a woman so women can clearly make it to the top, but they are seemingly required to wear dresses and high heels, and we don’t see a single female guard, soldier or police officer.

Frost Giants and Dark Elves

A quick one. I lump them together because we never see any women from either race. We know there are female Frost Giants and Dark Elves in the comics but like I said earlier, the movies have their own canon, so that could mean any number of things. Maybe they don’t have women and are created some other way. Maybe women and men look exactly alike. Maybe women have no rights and are locked up somewhere. Maybe they are like the Sovereign and women stay far away from the battles. I’m sure you can think of even more possibilities.

Kree

In the comics the Kree as a race are queer. They are encouraged to explore their sexuality with as many men, women and all genders in-between as possible and doesn’t like categorising sexuality the way humans do. Interestingly, the few Kree from the comics who have decided to identify as anything all chose gay/lesbian/bisexual/pansexual and the common denominator for all of them is that they grew up with other races, outside of Kree culture.

Kree in the comics only care about biological sex in regards to breeding and it’s a crime punishable with prison to create offspring with other races. This is why pink Kree are all lower-class (they are the result of interbreeding in the distant past) with the purest blue Kree at the top of society.

They don’t often bond emotionally but when they do they bond hard, though they often continue having other sexual relationships on the side.

We see hints of this in the movies. Men and women largely dress the same, treat each other the same, flirt with each other regardless of gender, they have lots of female soldiers, and doesn’t know toxic masculinity the way we do because they don’t see women as lower. While living with them Carol was put though many things but sexism wasn’t one of them.

When it comes to emotionally bonding, the people behind the movie have said Yon-Rogg has genuent feelings for Carol which was why he just gave up instead of dying in battle against her like an honourable Kree should.

Also, this is how the two major Kree characters were introduced:

Ronan strolling around butt naked with zero shame, and Yon-Rogg who couldn’t even be bothered to properly close his kimono-thing when answering the door. I think it’s safe to say that Kree are pretty laid back when it comes to nudity.

Skrull

The Skrulls are a bit harder to say anything about because they’re very different from the comics and we’ve been told Talos’ people aren’t even the standard for Skrulls in the MCU. Some groups rival Ronan in brutality, others are saints compared to Talos’ men.

But from what little we’re shown we know the men aren’t afraid to take on the appearance of women, and they form close emotional and physical relationships with each other no matter gender, and “kiss” by touching foreheads. But surprisingly, despite how many Skrull soldiers we see not a single one was female.

Asgardians

Gender clearly means a lot to Asgardians. Women are very revered and respected but also seen as distinctly separate from men. So much so that even though both men and women are capable warriors they are separated into different armies that have strict rules for which genders can join (Poor Thor had his childhood dream of becoming a Valkyrie destroyed). Men and women wear very different styles of clothes that put emphasis on their masculine or feminine features. The women especially like to show off their breasts.

The importance of gendered clothes is so strong that Loki, who is canonically non-binary in both comics and movies, stands out because his clothes very noticeably doesn’t show any gender and could easily be worn by either men or women. Even his most masculine outfit to date from Thor: Ragnarok isn’t gendered. Where other Asgardians have lines that follow their curves and muscles, Loki just have angular lines that tell us nothing about his gender (He loves shoulder padding almost as much as a 80’s business woman though)

There’s just one tiny detail that hints to Asgardian culture being patriarchal. Look at how the royal family is depicted in the first picture.

All the men look at the viewer, but Frigga is depicted as holding on to Odin with her gaze downcast, despite wearing her warrior outfit. This might suggest that young and unmarried women are free to live their lives but once they get married they should devote themselves to their husbands.

That’s all I got for now. Yeah I know the Marvel movies are just mindless entertainment and a lot of these could be answered with “Because the writers wrote it that way”, but if nerd boys can make hour long YouTube essays about the symbolism of Civil War let this nerd girl have her own fun.

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu #long post #marvel meta #marvel analysis #captain marvel #loki #ronan the accuser #yon rogg

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lildevyl · 5 years

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I Came Out To My Family: I’m Bisexual

Tw: Bisexuality, mentions of LGBT+, mentions of the LGBT+ Community, mentions of struggle of identity, coming out.

If any of things bother you, feel free to don’t read. If you have a problem with me being bisexual then please unfollow me! I will not have the kinds toxicity on my blog!

To all my readers/followers, if you’re not ready to tell your family or you’re not ready to come out to them. That’s okay. You have plenty of time. I’m 35 years old and I just came to my family. Don’t rush. And if you ever need anyone to talk too, rant, scream or just need an ear/soundboard. My inbox is always open.

Well, like the title says, I came to my family of being bisexual. Here’s my story!

Yesterday was a very emotional day. I told my family that I’m bisexual and to amazement they were alright with it. My brothers, my Mom and my Dad, all were alright with me bisexual. I can’t tell you how much of a relief it is to tell them that I’m bi and for them to be okay with it. My Mom told me that she’s alright with it. That it’s who I am and she supports me wholeheartedly and she also told to be careful because there are going to be people out there that basically think that I’m making the “wrong choice.” But I’m alright with that.

Growing up, I didn’t really have anything to go by. All there was for me to see were a Mom, a Dad and the kids. Whether is was Step Parents or the original parents that’s all I saw and what I grew up believing with my friends and all. Then I started hearing about GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian [I don’t remember what the rest of the letters stand for sorry]). So, naturally, I assumed it was either you were gay (same sex couples) or you were straight (opposite sex couples).

I didn’t really have anything for Bisexual which sucked for me! Because when I hit High School, that’s when I started to notice that I might like girls. So, obviously I kinda started to freak out a bit. And started to question what my sexuality was. Again, didn’t really have anything back then. I graduated in 2002, YouTube wasn’t even invented yet! Or Facebook! Or Twitter any of these cool Social Media where you connect and talk to other people.

Sorry, back to the story. So, basically I was trying to figure out if I’m straight or if I’m gay, because like I said I didn’t really have anything to go by. And here’s why I’m saying that.

The Media’s Definition of Bisexuality:

Female: You’re secretly straight but pretending to be gay because you’re curious of being with another women. OR. You’re secretly gay and are pretending to be straight so that you will accepted.

Males: You’re secretly gay pretending to be straight so that you will be accepted.

You see what I mean? And this was all I had to go by growing up! You were straight or gay, because by Society’s and the Media’s (TV, Movies) Definition, that’s it. And if you bi you were one or the other. So, you might be able to imagine my struggle.

And it went on for a while. I even went on a few dates with some girls. Mostly being a plus one to a dance or movies but yeah. I’m attracted to girls. I went out with a few guys and had couple of boyfriends before I met my husband. Yeah, I’m attracted to guys. So, what does this mean? How can I be attracted to both genders? (please don’t comment just yet about genders!). Then about 2006, YouTube launched and Facebook with MySpace. So, I had a few places to look things up about my questions.

YouTube I didn’t really get into just yet. But when Twitter and few others launched. That’s when I found out what Bisexuality really is! What the real definition is! Bisexuality: You’re attracted and into both male and female. Finally, I got it! I was so happy and relieved! And very scarred at the same time! How can tell my family this? I really was scarred to tell my family. I was more close to my Dad then my Mom but both of them were very overprotective and strict. Not in a bad way but they strict about somethings.

So, I told my boyfriend (husband now) Rayden that I’m bi. And he was completely alright with it and supported me 100% So, that definitely wasn’t a problem. But I struggled in trying to tell my family. I kept talking myself outta of it because I kept having these worst case scenarios play through my head and if they didn’t accept me for being bi I didn’t know what I would do! I couldn’t really stay at a friend’s house if it came to that.

So, I didn’t tell them for the longest time. It wasn’t until I was financially stable, about to get married and had a place to move out to that. I decided to come out, at least to my brothers. BTW, this was 2,013 when I did this. Both of them were okay with, actually they didn’t really bat an eye. My youngest brother, actually said that “Yeah, I know.” Apparently, I didn’t really hide as well as I thought I did.

Fast track to today or yesterday. I finally, decided to tell my parents. Trust me, I was ready to burst into tears at just thought of coming out but I did it. And they’re alright with it. I can’t tell how much of relief that is! But yeah, after 17 years of struggling, I came out to my family of being bisexual.

Oh, and before I forget. The reason why I said don’t comment yet on the gender thing? That’s because before I joined the JSE and Markiplier Communities I didn’t know what non-binary or genderfluid or what asexual is at the time. But, if your bisexual and attracted to someone who’s non-binary or genderfluid or ace. Well, at least for me it still accounts.

#personal #lgbt+#lgbt+ community #bisexual #bisexuality #coming out #i came out to my family #and they're alright with it.#non-binary #ace #genderfluid #gay #lesbain

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chillafqueen · 5 years

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When I was 12 years old, I was sexually assaulted by someone younger than me. It was my friend(a female), at the time,'s younger brother. He was a couple years younger than me. Whenever I went to this friend's house and her younger brother was home, and we were in her room, where their father couldn't see, he would force me on to a bed, and he'd dry hump me. On my side, or from behind.

I was a quiet girl, rather shy. I didn't ever want to get in trouble.

And my friend told me not to say anything, don't scream, don't tell on her brother, because we'd all get in trouble and she'd be grounded, and we wouldn't be able to hang out.

So when he would get on top of me, I didn't make a noise. I thought it was just some kid playing around. He pretended to be a dog, humping anything it saw and he'd do it to her and then me. She would shrug him off and then he'd go to me. When I could no longer keep him off, I ignored it. It’d eventually be over.

He was bigger than me. He weighed more, he was taller, he was stronger, so even if I really fought back, I was stuck either way.

But I didn't make a noise. I didn't tell anyone.

And it happened multiple times. It didn't feel wrong, it didn't make my instincts kick in. Until the day i felt his dick, hard against my butt. That day my heart stopped, my mind panicked and I finally had enough. I finally realized this was wrong. That he was doing more than playing around. I cried, I squirmed around and shouted for him to stop. Their father wasn't home that day to hear but my struggle was enough. He got off me and called me a bitch, a crybaby, a drama queen. "He wasn't hurting me" but it was enough to get him to stop.

Sometime later, me and that friend stopped being friends. It wasn't until more recently (the last two years) that I stopped trying to disprove my own assault.

Although, I've forgotten a lot of it

Looking back at it, and remembering details, I can only see it out of body.

Though, I have bad ADHD, and I can't remember anything. I can't remember my childhood. I can remember names and places, but that's it. I can't remember anything I'm detail that's over a month old in memory. And even then I over think and doubt my own memory.

I can't tell you word for word dialogue, or play by play action. I can't tell you what month it was. I was in 7th grade. I was 12 years old. I was sexually assaulted by a kid who was still in elementary. I only recently told anyone, being it be two friends, and my grandfather when we got in a heated argument about the Ford vs Kavanaugh. And my grandfather doesn't believe Ford btw. He also believes if a person doesn't immediately report their incident to law enforcement, they're promoting rape, but that's another story.

When my grandfather found out, he wanted names, dates and details. I panicked. I then told him no more. I don't want law enforcement involved. I want nothing more than the guy who attacked me to feel the same pain and shame I do. I just want him to know that what he did was wrong and to never do it to anyone else. I also never reported it or ever want to because I still try to convince myself that it wasn’t really wrong. That it wasn’t anything more than a kid pretending to be a male dog being territorial. I already question myself enough, I don’t want people questioning me, digging up details, or tell me that it wasn’t real or it wasn’t sexual assault. I don’t want to be judged.

I try to down play and disprove my own trauma.

I should've fought back before. On the first time. I should've told someone. I mean, at that point I'm asking for it, right? It wasn't really sexual assault. Others have had it worse.

I can't remember my assault for shit. It couldn't have been that bad. Others have had it worse. I was lucky that was it. My mind is constantly telling me this.

I saw him more recently. He used to be my neighbor, until he moved to South Carolina to be with his mom. But he still visits down here during the summer.

I see him every summer. He is friendly. I added him on Facebook when he sent the request. He doesn't bring it up. Neither will I. He tried to talk to me. I was polite and responded. Until he become a bit more forceful and suggestive in the conversation. I would then block him.

He is now 16/17. I am now 19, turning 20 in 33 days. The incident happened over 7 years ago.

And only months ago did I realize what happened.

Not long after that happened, I got into a relationship with my first girlfriend.

We were friends. We were the same age, lived close by each other, went to the same school. She was new that year, and we became friends through the friend from above. We used gmail’s chat feature to talk.

She got me into emo stuff. My Chemical Romance mainly. Youtube, tumblr, sexuality, politics, emo culture.

We liked a lot of the same stuff. She introduced me to most of the things I am about now. My personality is a lot of because of her. I mean, sure, I think eventually, I was going to go down that rabbit hole eventually. But she helped speed up the process.

Now, I didn’t understand my feelings for her. I didn’t even know I liked her. In fact, anything besides heterosexuality was as imaginary as the Easter Bunny. It was on tv. In movies, tv, and books. But only for comedic, not to be taken serious, effect. But here in Nebraska, in a conservative family, being gay wasn’t real. I didn’t know anyone who wasn’t a “normal” person. I guess my family was really good at shielding me from anything that could shift me.

Being gay, or even bi, or pan, wasn’t something that even popped into my mind. At that point, I only ever liked boys. I never liked a girl.

But eventually, I sort of gravitated to her more than my other friends. I craved her touch. She was my new sunshine.

February 26, 2012. She suggested that we be in a relationship. And that was like someone showing me the light. A new door opened to me.

Me? A girl dating a girl? Unbelievable. That didn’t happen in real life, did it?

But it answered a part of a question I didn’t know I had.

We hung out a lot the time. We mainly were in her room. And in the span of a month or so, came events that gave me more questions than answers, to this day I can’t even fathom to ever find answers for.

We dated in secret. Because, even though, at this point, I just found out that I was at least bisexual after finding out liking anything besides the opposite sex even was real life. But I knew that this was “wrong”. I knew my family, and hers wouldn’t approve. I didn’t know exactly what the consequences would be, but I thought it couldn’t be good.

We held hands, kissed, cuddled. Normal things. I thought everything was fine.

Until one day she put her tongue in my mouth. She had brought up the idea many times, and I said I wasn’t ready for that, and I didn’t want it.

Then she forced her tongue into my mouth. I didn’t let her continue. I pulled away. My stomach turned, and my mind went into panic mode. I felt wrong.

I broke up her.

But she had me wrapped around her finger. She dangled her life over my actions. If I didn’t want to hang out with her, she would tell me that if I wasn’t there, she would probably end up cutting herself.

(We used to show off our cuts to each other. Yes, we both self harmed around the same time. I first started cutting a year before I met, her. But that really isn’t the point here.)

I had a best friend, who is still my best friend to this day. (10 years this September) While dating this girl, I used all my free time on her. After school, we were together. On the weekends, we had sleepovers.

I was neglecting my best friend. I only hung out with her now, when my girlfriend couldn’t. So I wanted to hang out with her. I choose to be with her one day instead of my girlfriend. She didn’t like that. While she didn’t tell me she was going to cut herself because of me, but she always worded it like it was my fault she was cutting herself. And so I didn’t hang out with best friend.

But anyway, she forced her tongue into my mouth, we broke up.

We got together the next day.

The night between was hell. I was scared out of my mind that she was going to hurt herself. It would be my fault she was going to hurt herself.

But she didn’t apologize. She just asked if we could try again. I said yes, because, well I was 12, I was in puppy dog love with her. When she put her tongue into my mouth, I let her. I got over that panicked feeling, well more, like... ignored it. I never liked it, but I let it happen. It was my own damn fault that I didn’t like it. I would eventually like this, right?

No. I would try to distract her, to divert her attention to other things. She would get closer, I would look the other way, and start talking about random things I saw in the texture of the ceiling paint.

I thought I was just nervous.

About a month into our relationship, I told her I loved her. She declined my feelings. She told me that this wasn’t a serious relationship and she couldn’t love me when we were only in middle school. It hurt, sure.

She would continue the physical part of our relationship. She would kiss my neck, leave hickeys, touch my chest, touch me in between my legs. Even when I told her I didn’t like it, she would ignore it, she would tell me I’d like it.

I never did. I pretended to like it to not upset her.

One day, trying to please her, I experimented, I didn’t know what I was doing, but I was going to try something and see if I’d like it. I touched her instead. I touched her in between her legs.

It felt wrong. She hooked her legs around me, and begged me to continue. I tried to stop. I told her I was done. That I didn’t like it. She held me to her with her legs still and pleaded that I continue.

I did. I hated it. I would eventually have enough of it, and stop.

Our relationship would dissolve sometime soon after.

We were fighting, disagreeing on things. The pressure to fit in was getting to me. I was an outcast as is. No one really liked me. I had no real friends in my class.

Except her. People didn’t like her. Even more than me. And also having our relationship known at school, people would make fun of us. Being 12/13, my reputation meant at least something to me. The pressure would end up getting to me.

We would break up but still be friends. Until one day, in a class, I can’t remember much of. We sat together at our table. Brad, a kid in our class made some kind of joke that was something about something. I think it might’ve been some joke about rape. Now it wasn’t a joke about raping someone, or laughing at someone for rape. I don’t know what the joke was but it was kinda dark. It wasn’t pointed at the act of rape, or laughing at a victim. I don’t know what it was really truly about. But my now ex girlfriend didn’t like the joke.

The whole class laughed at the joke, even me. But she didn’t. She hit me. Right there in class. She smacked me right in the face. It didn’t really hurt that much. I mean, my nose throbbed for a few seconds. I never thought any type of rape or forceful sexual stuff was okay. I knew rape was wrong. I know the joke was something about some sort of thing that gravitated towards rapey?? I don’t know. I just know that her hitting me was not okay. That was the last straw for me.

We stopped being friends.

at the end of 7th grade, she moved away to another state. We didn’t keep contact. We hated each other when she left.

I hated her for feelings that I didn’t understand. I bullied her. Never to her face, but I joked with the other kids, I talked shit about her to my friend.

My best friend, years later would tell me that my girlfriend pulled moves on her when we were still together, or right after. When she was supposed to hate my friend.

I don’t feel good about bullying her, because it is never justified. by ninth grade, she reached out to me. We reconciled. We never have been good friends. We have talked maybe once or twice a year for years to come.

It took me a long time to stop blaming myself for how our relationship ended.

It was my fault. All of it. My mind erased all her manipulation, abuse, neglect and her sexual assaulting me. Because we were both girls. That kind of stuff doesn’t happen in non-straight relationships.

I never thought it was sexual assault of any kind. I should’ve really fought back. I should’ve her stop. I should’ve made more of an effort to let her know that I didn’t like it. For a long time, I thought I was broken.

There had to be something wrong with me for not wanting her in a more physical way.

I’m asexual. I didn’t understand what I was until I was 18. I’ve never felt real sexual desire for anyone. I’m grey-asexual. For the longest time I thought I was broken. That it was just my self esteem that got in the way.

When I lost my virginity to a boy who told me that he’d love me if I let him do it. I hated every moment of it. I pretended to like it because I had to let him continue because he’d finally love me when it was over. He would then tell everyone at school, make up fake details, and call me a whore to my face. When he was the only person I had ever had sex with. I was a whore for letting him have sex with me.

I thought maybe because of that experience that it was just fear that got in the way. But to this day, I’ve never felt pleasure from physical affection. When I’ve forced myself to ignore it, my body and mind went into panic mode. I thought I was broken.

But my sexuality doesn’t make what happened to me okay.

After all these years, I’ve finally found at least a part of an answer.

I was sexually assaulted by two people. A friend’s younger brother, and an ex girlfriend.

I never realized it was anything more than a fleeting thought until I became more knowledgeable. That consent, rejection, and rape or sexual assault was more than black and white. That rape or sexual assault was only just something that happened when a guy forces a girl to sex and when I mean force, I mean, she can’t move, she can’t fight back.

I thought that it couldn’t be assault of any kind. I never was in danger. I’m sure if I put up a real fight that I’d get away, that it’d stop. That it was my fault for not liking it.

I never told anyone. Until more recently.

I downplay my own trauma. I know people who have actually fought back, who were incapacitated and couldn’t fight back. They were raped, or molested in some way, way worse than me.

So i wasn’t sexually assaulted in anyway. Right?

I don’t know. I just thought if I wrote down my thoughts, it would be more real. Just more of a rant, or a proclamation to myself.

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missmeikakuna · 5 years

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Chad and the Incel Chapter 4

Rated: M

Fandom: Original Fiction (but inspired by the Virgin vs Chad meme)

Relationship type: Male/Male with a bit of Female/Female (the lesbians are adorable, btw) and unrequited Male/Female (in other words, the guys are bisexual).

Description: Chad is, well, a Chad, or at least he looks like one. He’s got his sights set on the cool nerd Becky and enlists the help of her shy incel ex-friend Noah, offering to help him get the gorgeous girl (Stacy) he desperately wants. Noah is reluctant to help, believing that he will be stuck in inceldom forever, but Chad’s interest in his life gives him hope. When their plans go awry, they start turning their romantic attention towards each other.

Content Warning: Given the subject matter, you can guess that this story has dark themes in it, such as suicide and self-harm (plus the mental health issues that often cause them), sexism, slut-shaming homophobia, biphobia and transphobia. There is also swearing and some mentions of sex but nothing too explicit (hence the M rating as opposed to an Explicit rating).

4th Post: Incels are the real oppressed group

Going to the local library became a regular occurrence for Chad and Noah. They went there every afternoon after Chad’s detention, deciding not to give up on their romantic conquest just yet. Every time they would start off reading books and discussing plans for winning their respective girl’s heart but they inevitably veered off course and began chatting about whatever they felt like.

Noah told Chad more about manga and recommended some. The list of recommendations was initially intimidating in its length, but Chad couldn’t help but stare with a warm heart when Noah talked about something he loved.

It didn’t take Noah long to notice that Chad wasn’t fully listening, so he came up with a new course of action. He collected a pile of manga from the library and read the blurbs aloud to him. The ones Chad looked interested in were put in one pile and the others were put in a different pile. He pushed the interesting manga towards Chad and suggested he pick one to read for the day. The one Chad picked first was entitled, ‘My Girlfriend is a Giant Robot But She’s Also My Therapist’.

Noah beamed at him. ‘I’ve read the light novel for that.’

‘The what now?’

‘You know, light novels. They’re short novels that usually come in series.’ As he went on and on about this particular light novel with a manga adaptation, Chad paid more attention to the boy’s glowing face than what he was actually saying. That last light of concentration was extinguished when he saw a girl walk past him with a smile on her face.

She had frizzy strawberry blonde hair and wore rectangular glasses that perfectly balanced the roundness of her face. In her thin but muscular arms, visible via a singlet top despite the weather, were three thick books she carried easily. Her lips had seductive curves to them, aided by ample use of apricot lipstick and matching lip liner.

After heading to one of the shelves/lockers, she turned her gaze to Noah, who also smiled at her, and dropped her own smile. However, she didn’t frown. In fact, her expression was neutral and free from judgement. Noah did not see it this way.

He looked at the manga in his hands and used those hands to hide the cover. He hung his head and scowled at the lines in the oak desk.

Chad turned his head and saw Noah’s tense shoulders. He leaned towards him and whispered, ‘Go for it.’

Noah’s head jumped up. He looked at him like he’d just suggested he commit genocide. ‘Me? Why me? She’s going to choose you.’

‘I wouldn’t be so sure of that. And if it doesn’t work out, you got some practice before trying to get Stacy.’ Chad felt a twinge of guilt saying this, not knowing if Stacy could possibly like a guy, though that guilt certainly wasn’t enough to stop him from trying to encourage his new friend. ‘Put these books to good use.’

With a sigh, Noah stood up and plodded towards the girl. He stood behind her for a moment, mentally preparing what to say to her. He continued standing there for enough time to make Chad make a shooing gesture.

After a few more seconds the girl noticed someone was behind her and turned around. ‘Hi, do you want to talk to me or something?’ she asked after she gave way to him and he stood still instead of looking at the books. Her voice sounded like someone had converted honey into audio.

Noah’s shoulders leapt up and he began to sweat. Even though she was smiling at him, he thought he could sense the stone-cold judgement in her eyes. She hated him. She was disgusted by him and wanted nothing to do with him. He was but a piece of snot that had stuck to her wrist when she sneezed into it.

He turned around and marched back to the desk. Chad gave him the eyes of someone seeing a kitten in the rain. Noah shoved his books and manga away from him before picking up his headphones from the desk and putting them on, taking a few deep breaths.

Inside Chad’s heart was a bit of pain. That bit was the size of a poppy seed and thus relatively easy to ignore, but it was there. What was bigger was the sudden need to make Noah smile again, though Chad didn’t know how.

He decided to use a weakness of his as a strength. His quick plan relied on the strawberry blonde girl’s reaction being the exact same one as every other girl Chad talked to. If not, well, at least he had someone to distract him from Becky.

He stood up and swaggered, or rather attempted to swagger, towards the girl. When she saw him she bit her lip and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

‘Hey,’ she cooed. ‘I’m Luce. You?’

The plan must have been working as Chad felt sweat drop down his back. ‘I’m, uh, Chad.’

‘Hi, Chad. So what do you like to read?’

‘Me? I’m, uh, not much of a reader.’ Luce raised an eyebrow. ‘I don’t mean I hate it or anything, uh, you see, I’m here with a friend and, well, uh…. Why don’t you teach me what books are good?’ She scrunched her nose. ‘Wow, that sounded a little pervy. Haha. I didn’t mean it that way. I’m sure you’ve spent a lot of time with your nose in a book, right? Oh, not in an insulting way, just, you know, you seem really smart with all those, uh, books.’ Luce swapped eyebrows and took a step backwards.

‘Uh, yeah… It was nice meeting you. Maybe I’ll see you here again.’

As she walked away, Chad said, ‘Yeah, totally. I’ll see you some time in the future.’

His shoulders drooped as he headed back to the desk. Noah hesitated before patting him on the shoulder and smiling.

‘There, there. So how exactly are you a Chad? Did your parents have the wrong kid when they named you?’

‘Hardy har har. Yeah, I suck. So don’t feel too bad.’

Noah crossed his arms. ‘Did you just pretend to be awkward just to make me feel better?’

With a shake of his head, Chad said, ‘I couldn’t be smooth to girls if I tried. That was a case in point.’

‘Sure, sure.’

Knowing nothing would change Noah’s mind, Chad instead decided to change the subject, picking up a manga from the desk with the title, ‘Love ☆ Lace’. It had two men who appeared to be very close to each other, one holding a measuring tape that tied the other’s wrists together. His heart beat a little faster. Just a little bit.

‘So there’s gay manga?’ he asked.

‘Yeah. I haven’t read that one since I don’t read that stuff, but I do know it’s for girls. I just grabbed whatever manga I could find here.’

‘Girls? Seriously? But they’re both guys!’

Noah laughed at Chad’s confused face, ‘I don’t claim to understand the average fujoshi.’ When Chad looked even more confused, Noah explained what little he knew about gay manga for women.

After he was done he said, ‘Anyway, tell me what you think about ‘My Girlfriend is a Giant Robot But She’s Also My Therapist’. It’s one of the best manga of the past few years.’ He spoke quickly and made large gestures as he detailed what made the manga so great, and, once again, Chad partially listened while staring at the boy’s ever-growing grin.

Another day, Chad started hanging out with Noah at school. During lunch they would talk about a range of topics from what movies they liked to what conspiracies seemed the most likely to be true. They both liked and felt nostalgic over the movie ‘Beauty and the Beast’, though Noah thought it was a bit unrealistic.

‘As if a femoid would choose the Beast over Gaston. I mean, look at his muscles! And that Chad jaw. How could any girl resist? At least the French movie understood that.’

Chad rubbed his jaw. When he saw Noah’s smile, he realised why he said that. He didn’t thank him for the reassurance but returned the same facial expression.

As for conspiracy theories, they disagreed over whether feminists had plotted to ruin ugly guys’ dating practices, with Chad not convinced that feminists were that powerful. However, they both had their scepticisms about the official JFK assassination story.

Whenever they talked about a new subject, the ratio between things they had in common and places where they differed was pretty even. Despite the disagreements, Noah’s passion during their conversations was enough for Chad to wake up each morning with his pearly whites showing.

During their discussions, people would regularly pass Chad and wave or high five him, interrupting Noah to talk to Chad for a little bit. When the frequency of this became too much for Noah, he put his headphones and listened to music while waiting to talk to Chad again, often posting to Incels.me on his phone about how ugly men were the social class facing the most discrimination.

Over the next two or so weeks, Noah did this less and less, even joining in on the conversations between Chad and other students on occasion. At one point he stopped bringing his headphones into the classroom altogether. He considered grabbing them again when Chad told him how proud he was of him for talking with others, but upon seeing Chad’s gentle expressions, he decided against it. He couldn’t help but wonder how hunter eyes could at times look like the eyes of a duckling.

#chad vs incel #Chad x Incel #bisexual #incel #romance #drama #original fiction #breaking stereotypes #lesbian #Chad and the Incel

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germansandwich · 7 years

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2/4 pages of "new" OCs to show you guys. YO THESE GUYS ALSO TURNED OUT GOOD! MORE CHILDREN! I HAVE SO MANY PFFFFF! Btw, none of these that I draw are exactly at the heights they are compared to each other. Drew: Old pic of him: germansandwich.deviantart.com/… He's always been kinda grumpy, and a little bitch to me honest. XDD Takes after his dad in that aspect. His friends call him "Grumpy Old Man" because of his attitude and his natural grey hair. (He insists that it's silver, but let's be honest that shit's grey and he knows it XP) He likes to dye half his hair black for "aesthetic" purposes. (AKA, make him look less like an old man XDD) He's a pretty okay friend though, but he doesn't like other people, so he rarely makes new friends. Maxwell/Max: Old pic of him: germansandwich.deviantart.com/… He's a precious baby boy who loves movies and TV shows and food! Unlike like the name of the old pic of him, that stuff on his face are not tattoos. In fact, he doesn't really know what they are, his parents have taken him to the doctors to get it checked out, but even the doctors can't figure out what the marks are. They continue to spread across his body over time, but they don't hurt him at all, so he usually ignores them. He's a real sweet heart though and loves to cook! Aidan: Old pic of him: germansandwich.deviantart.com/… The stud who thinks he can pic up any girl and guy at all. (He's Bisexual) He's a big flirt, but rarely ever actually goes on dates. He also likes to try and set other people up together. (Usually his friends) He likes to think he's a great wing man, but low-key, he sucks at it. Aidan also really likes piercings, if you couldn't tell! He also has a tongue piercing! His canine teeth are a bit sharper than they should be, so he bites him lips a lot on accident. He's a pretty funny person to go on a double date with though! Matthew/Matt: (I don't have any old pics of him DX) My super shy and awkward boy. He has to be practically dragged out of the house by either his parents or a friend on a daily basis. He hates talking to most people in general and fumbles with his words a lot. He's had a lot of crushed before, but never had the guts to go and talk to any of them. (All guys, he's gay, just thought I'd throw that out there) Aidan tries to help him out the best he can, but again, he's not the best wing man, and a lot of the time Matt would chicken out. He's my poor child who is socially handicapped most of the time. Olivia: Old pic of her: germansandwich.deviantart.com/… My beach babe! She loves hanging out at the beach, (if you couldn't tell from her tan lines from her bikini) but has a problem with remembering to wear sunscreen so you can almost always see her with some kind of a sunburn. She also does yoga, and she absolutely loves buying new cute matching yoga and fitness clothes. She also loves makeup and is really good at it! (Ignore the horrible job I did on her makeup, she usually does it a lot better XD) Blake: Another pic of her: germansandwich.deviantart.com/… MAH BIG GIRL! *"brick house" plays softly in the back* Not gonna lie, she's a bit of a drinker... okay yeah she has a problem with it. She spends a lot of her nights at the bar near her house after work. She works for a large company in security. She doesn't has a problem with her belly. She use to when she was a kid, but she grew to love her body. (She still got that drinking problem tho) At work she doesn't show it, but when she's off, she likes to wear skirts and belly shirts. "If they don't like what they see, them they can close their eyes, but they sure as hell are missin' out." - Blake. She got a good alcohol tolerance now, not that that's a good thing I guess XD. When she is drunk, she's not super sloppy, she gets very silly though, joking around and such.

#art #myart #myocs #my ocs are my babies #mychilren #my characters #digitalart #Ilovethemsomuch #thistookmesolong #istillhavetwomorepagestodo

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