thehmn

[thehmn]

Most days as a cleaner are pretty chill. You go to work. You sweep the floors. You go home.

And some days you go to work and there’s blood splatter everywhere and a bin filled with blood soaked towels that you’re just expected to clean up.

I’m not going to post any of the pictures I took but every so often I just randomly enter a splatter horror movie at an awkward time in the story.

#my heart goes out to the cleaners in hotels/motels #at least I never find dead bodies

[thehmn]

Random rant.

I was telling my mom about yet another random middle aged guy who insisted on me paying attention to him (you know the type who gets super angry if you don’t respond to them saying hi or whatever, either because you didn’t hear them or didn’t know they were talking to you, instead of just letting it go like a normal person) and I was like “I’m sorry but it’s always guys your age”

I expected her to defend her fellow man but instead she responded “Oh my god yes. They’re the WORST”

Talk about Karen’s all you like but no group of people are more entitled than middle aged men. I hope it’s just those generations because I never experience it with guys my age and younger. But we’ll see in a few years. I’m close to middle aged myself and perhaps people just lose their fucking mind at a certain age.

Best part of being a cleaner is that if I don’t respond to those types of guys at work they just assume I don’t understand what they’re saying. I can hear them get all worked up at which point I start to ignore them out of spite and eventually I’ll hear someone say “She’s probably an immigrant” and they cool off. Yeah buddy, that’s the only explanation. It couldn’t possibly be because I don’t want to talk to you because you’re acting like an entitled dick.

At this point I’ve made it my mission in life to piss those guys off. I always pick up after my dogs but more than once some middle aged guy started ordering me to pick up as I was getting the bags out. I love the look on their face when I call them shit-sheriff and curse them out for thinking they can boss random adults around like that. And they never have a comeback because they never expected anyone to challenge them. I had a shouting match with one older guy who tried to push me over while I was riding my bike slowly past him because he felt I was trying to run him over for some reason but it ended real fast when I told him to fuck back to his retirement home because they forget they don’t get my respect for free. Same if you call them ugly. They have no idea how to respond to that because they never had to worry about their looks before.

So to anyone reading this, just be cool if people don’t respond to you and don’t act like you can order random strangers around. Niceness will get you anywhere with strangers (unless they’re assholes themselves)

#humontalks #rant post

[thehmn]

Watched The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent yesterday and because Nicolas Cage is playing himself I never assumed there was more to his and Javl’s relationship than a platonic bromance but I can’t be the only one who felt like the ending was off. Yes, the movie started with Nick’s ailing relationship with his daughter and ex-wife but most of it was about his and Javi’s friendship so to have it ending with him bonding with the daughter and ex felt kinda flat, no?

Like, I would have ended it with him bonding with all three of them at a dinner table or something at the very least. They always say an ending can make or break an entire story and I wouldn’t be surprised if the ending was responsible for some of the lukewarm reception. I for sure was laughing my ass off for the rest of the movie and overall had a great time but was left with a weird meh feeling at the ending.

Also, I’m convinced the scene of Nicolas making out with his younger self is only there because they knew how homoerotic the whole thing was but because they couldn’t have Nick and Javi make out they tried to release some of the pressure by having Nick make out with himself.

#the unbearable weight of massive talent #to be deleted #as always

[thehmn]

This is about a Danish podcast about Danish Christian cult “Ruths Hus” by Third Ear but I’ll write in English because I know if I write in Danish you’ll just run it through a translator so let’s skip the middle man.

Anyway, Ruths Hus (Ruth’s House) is about the leader of a Christian cult formerly known as Faderhuset (Father’s House) named Ruth. They never talk about it in the podcast but I’m deeply fascinated by the cult’s former name being Father’s House but not only is the leader a woman, for ages the second and third most important people were also women, Ruth’s “spiritual daughters”.

Her husband Knut used to be the leader but on the night of one of Denmark’s worst storms she declared herself the new leader and he just stepped down and hung around for years, putting up with Ruth telling everyone what a sad and lousy husband and man he was. They couldn’t just get a divorce because Ruth is strongly against divorces…until she met a rich man named Lars. Suddenly God was okay with Ruth getting a divorce and she even made Knut walk her down the aisle and hand her over to Lars AND Knut acted as the priest who wed them. Afterwards Knut wrote a post about what a sad excuse for a man he is and how happy he is that Ruth found a real man who can satisfy her.

When Ruth talks about Lars now it’s obvious she doesn’t see him as an equal and refers to him as her follower who worships her like people worship Jesus and he just smiles and nods. But of course she thinks women are below men because the Bible tells us so. And naturally her followers still aren’t allowed to get divorced either.

Ruth also expect her followers to call her Ruthemor (Mamaruth) and now she wants them to call Lars Larsefar (Papalars) and together they’re called Mamifar (Mamidad)

Now imagine them running a cult in a small Danish village for a few years where they own most of the stores and a big hotel until they suddenly leave in the middle of the night and the first thing people notice in the morning is that there are no children left (all children were part of the cult) and most of the stores doesn’t open. The cult moved to the Czech Republic where they started over, buying up farms and mansions and recruiting the locals to acts as spies for them so nobody knew who they can trust.

Most recently they moved to South Africa so the madness continues. If you understand Danish you should give Ruths Hus a listen.

#cult

[thehmn]

Advice nobody ever asks for but every time I tell someone they find it extremely useful:

If you want to get rid of ants in your house mix a cup of icing sugar and a cup of potato starch 50/50 (dry, no water) and spread it near the holes where the ants get into your house. They won’t be able to separate the sugar and starch and will feed their larvae with the mixture. The starch will kill the larvae. So you won’t see results right away but if you keep it up you’ll get rid of them over a few weeks. I make a batch every summer to combat ants in my kitchen.

Because the mixture is non-toxic to humans and other mammals it’s perfect if you have children or pets. God knows my dogs eat anything on the floor and this way my only worry is they might get cavities if they get into my pest control powder.

#advice #pest control

[thehmn]

Idea for a relaxing 2D scrolling game.

I went to a natural beach with my elderly mom and my chihuahua where we constantly had to traverse small mud slides, climb over or under fallen trees and at times around them where we had to time it to the small waves from the sea to avoid getting wet shoes. Most of the trip my dog could take care of herself by walking under logs we had to climb over but at times we had to pick her up to place her on a recent mud slide at which point she could take it from there or we had to help her down from an edge. A few times I had to pick her up to carry her over a small steam or around a tree so she wouldn’t get wet in the sea. At one point she got a drink of water from a tiny waterfall and regained some energy.

I mean come on. How is a slightly challenging walk down a natural beach on a sunny day with a chubby woman, a tiny dog and an elderly woman where you have to time your way forward to the waves of the beach not perfect for the most relaxing game ever? We even ended at a small traditional hut where we took a rest before driving home. The only game over would be wet shoes.

#game idea #nature hikes

[thehmn]

So I’ve been learning a lot about horses lately for horrible reasons (LINK) and why didn’t anyone tell me horsegirls and boys understood the concept of more than two genders (even gender neutral genders), even if only in horses, long before it became a widespread topic?

Admittedly a lot of them have to do with life stages or wether or not a male horse has been castrated (you even have a word for an improperly castrated horse) but you decided to call it genders.

#humontalks #gender

[thehmn]

Though I’m sure they’re out there I’ve never seen any Jewish people complain about the use of golems in fantasy. In fact, I’ve never seen any Jewish people talk about the use of golems in fantasy at all and I’m curious what your thoughts are on the subject if you’re Jewish.

As someone who has Jewish roots that were completely lost during WWII not because my Jewish family was killed but because they hid their religion and pretended to be Christians even to their own children to keep them safe, going so far as to claim our dark hair and brown eyes were due to a single Spanish ancestor, I’m always deeply fascinated by the use of golems as an allegory for Jewish heritage, but I also thought the use of golems as moving gardens in Dungeon Meshi was unbelievably cute. However, while I relate to gentile characters with lost Jewish heritage I don’t consider myself Jewish and wouldn’t dream of giving my opinion on anything as a Jew, which is why I really want to know what Jewish people who grew up in a Jewish culture feels about the use of golems in fantasy like Minecraft and Dungeon Meshi.

#golem #jewish folklore #Jewish culture

[thehmn]

It’s cheesy, it’s corny, it’s straight up schlock, it’s based around some of my personal deepest fears, and you can read the first chapter here LINK

Given the visuals I feel like it’s important to say up front that there won’t be any rape or gore in the story. There will be sex eventually because what is schlock without sex but it will all be between consenting adults (I won’t even be playing around with “dubcon” or Stockholm syndrome) and while there’s plenty of body modification and body horror all the gore happens while people are sedated meaning we don’t see it and they don’t feel it. Besides that this is horror so expect all the triggers. I will be tagging all chapters as “kentauer comic” so you can filter it out completely if this isn’t your cup of tea.

But yeah, this is the fucked-up schlocky horror comic I’ve been talking about. Don’t try to work out the science. It’s less scientifically accurate than Frankenstein’s Monster, which was a huge inspiration for this. What if you woke up one day having lost all rights to your humanity because some mad scientist had decided to make you their newest creation? Not in an attempt to make you better or advance humanity but just because they wanted to test their own abilities, effectively making you worse in the process.

Originally I only planned for this to be ten or twenty pages total so unlike my other comics it will be a contained story with an end.

#kentauer comic #rape mention

[thehmn]

I’m grateful to I Love I But I Hate It for blessing me with the sentence “It’s just not for [insert your name here]”

When they use it it’s the fastest way to say “I recognize that this is high quality work and I understand why so many people like it but for some reason it doesn’t speak to me personally. I have do desire to diminish anyone else’s enjoyment of it but please don’t demand that I should like it because it’s simply not for me”

It’s so handy when someone is showing you a movie or series or a piece of music that just doesn’t speak to you but you know it’s good and instead of going through a whole thing you can simply tell your friend “I see why you like it but it’s just not for [insert your name]”

When I say “It’s just not for Humon” instead of saying “It’s just not for me” it conveys a level of love and friendliness between friends somehow. It feels less dismissive just because we both understand “the code”.

Last time I used it it was about the Good Omens series. It has everything I usually like and it’s well written and acted but for some reason it’s just not for Humon. Couldn’t tell you why but I’d still give it a thumbs up.

#humontalks

[thehmn]

I’m not knowledgeable enough about the differences between American Protestantism and Nordic Protestantism to say anything deep or groundbreaking about it but hearing the way Americans talk about Protestantism makes it sound like an entirely different religion.

To be clear I’m not religious. The only thing that passed for a religious upbringing was my Religions class in high school. Like most Danes I don’t have any strong feelings about Christianity. It’s just there, Christmas is nice and we get days off from work around Easter.

But just the sentence “Protestant work ethic” as a way to explain why Americans are so overworked sounds kinda humorous to a simple Dane like me. Protestantism is the state religion in Denmark (Evangelical Lutheran to be precise) and we have the highest number of Protestants per capita in the world and yet Americans who move over here often comment on how lazy we are. We leave work early, we have an ungodly number of paid days off (most of them religious), all parents get paid maternity leave and we will break our bosses’ arms if they try to make us work paid overtime too many days in a row. I’m not saying that to brag, it’s just to illustrate what the “Protestant work ethic” looks like in the most Protestant country in the world.

This is super interesting and I need to dig deeper into why Protestantism turned out so differently in our countries.

#religion #christianity #protestant #protestant work ethic

[thehmn]

The things you learn about your own family.

Over the years I’ve realized that I have a “sleep button” on my forehead in the area where people usually say the third eye is.

It’s not mystical in any way. I’ve just noticed a real physical pressure in that area when I’ve had very little sleep and feel super tired and perhaps for the same reason I can make myself sleepy by applying light pressure on it.

Every time I tell someone about it I have to explain it to them like I’m explaining it to you now but when I told my mom “Sleep is here” and pointed at the area she just nodded and said “Yes”. Now my mom is not the most understanding person in the world and she usually responds with confusion when I say shit like that but this time she immediately knew what I was talking about and that’s how I learned my family has a genetic sleep button.

#humontalks #sleep #genetics

[thehmn]

Don’t worry.

The rainbow dog is here to keep you safe.

#please add your own rainbow pets #for extra protection #getting a rainbow window screen was a good idea #no regrets #rainbow #dogs #chihuahua #pets

[thehmn]

My housemate decided I had to watch Wish last night and it was pretty fun. Not in a good movie kinda way but in a make stupid jokes and interpret people’s wishes the worst way way. Man is shown with a wife and two children in his wish bubble? Yeah that’s a man who has three children now and really wants to get rid of one of them. That naturally led to the headcanon that Magnifico used to make all people’s wishes come true until he got a wish from someone who wanted to be a serial killer and was like Jesusfuckingchrist no I can’t make THIS come true and I better make him forget he ever wanted this and it was a slippery slope after that and now he doesn’t trust any wishes including that motherfucker who wants one of his kids dead. Why would you make a story like that, Disney? That’s fucked up.

#wish 2023 #king magnifico

[thehmn]

I’ve been a fool! An idiot! A halfwit!

Ages ago my mother gave me a slow cooker (or crock pot if you like) and over the years I’ve only taken it out sparingly, maybe once a year, maybe only every other year. But now? Now it’s firmly placed on my craft table (because I can’t fit it on the kitchen table) because I only recently realized you can make most things in it so long as you’re not addicted to the crisp. It can make things crispy just not super crispy.

I’ve really come to appreciate that I can start the slow cooker in the evening before I go to bed and have breakfast immediately in the morning or start it before I leave for work and get right to dinner once I get home and still use less electricity than if I had cooked it in the oven for 30 minutes. So far I’ve of course made various stews but also whole chickens, baked potatoes, bacon, rice milk porridge (Christmas dessert), bread, meatballs and banana cake.

I’m mostly making this post for my fellow low incomers or low energy besties who don’t have the time or energy to cook or want to save money. Slow cookers are some of the cheapest cooking appliances you can buy and my ADHD brain sometimes wants to buy another one just because the one my mom got me is bigger than I need it to be. It can seem scary at first to make other things besides stews in it but it cooks so slowly you’ve got plenty of time correct any mistakes. I can’t recommend a slow cooker enough.

#slow cooker #crock pot

[thehmn]

There’s a million horror book, comics, movies and games about men victimizing women written by men, but I’ve noticed when the roles are reversed and a woman writes about a woman victimizing men people immediately assume she must be agreeing with the woman’s actions no matter how hard the author is trying to depict her as a villain.

I was reminded of it because I’m almost done with the first chapter of my schlock horror comic where the big bad is a woman and I’m already well aware that it’ll get that reaction from some people despite her being cartoonishly evil with no redeeming qualities (unless you’re into that sort of thing I say because some people do love a villain)

And when I think about it that’s extremely chilling because that would imply people think men who writes about men hurting women hates women in real life and want to hurt them and that’s just a-okay.

Of course another assumption is simply that we’re used to seeing certain genders in certain roles and we only realize how fucked up they are when the genders are switched or when we see our own gender in the victim role.

I made the villain a woman for several reasons but mostly for the schlock factor. There’s just something inherently schlocky about a cartoon villain of a woman doing whatever the fuck she wants while wearing leather boots. But definitely also just to play around with common conventions because nothing highlights them more than turning them on their head.

I dunno, it’s definitely horror so don’t expect a fun light rump but hopefully people can see what I’m going for. I’m honestly impressed by how chill people have been about Red Prism despite the main characters basically being serial killers, so I trust that most people will trust me to know which characters are villains and who deserves redemption and who doesn’t even if the main villain is a woman this time.

#humontalks #horror #gender roles

[thehmn]

Some time ago I taught my dog to play dead if I pointed finger-guns at her and said “bang”. Yesterday I pretended to punch her with a “dush” sound. She just looked at me. I did it again and suddenly she flopped over dramatically, looking expectingly up at me for a treat. She got one and now she topples over if you pretend-punch her. She just decided that was a trick she wanted to do apparently.

What other tricks should I teach my eager stuntman dog?

#dogs #dog tricks #chihuahua