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ocean-cloud · 9 months

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Crowley: A realist, an avoidant and a lover

A somehow even longer analysis of Crowley's core traits, his trauma, issues, growth and choices in season 2 (and a little bit of season 1, my treat)

Here's Aziraphale's version (Aziraphale: an idealist, a problem solver, a denier and a protector)

As we know, they are polar opposites to each other, in almost every sense of the way, yes in the obvious sense but also in their philosophy over time. While Aziraphale believes in the good in everyone (an idealist) and is a problem solver, Crowley is a hardcore realist, self aware and often pessimistic and avoidant. While in the future this could provide a much needed balance in each other's life, as of now this only causes clashes and inevitable miscommunication.

It is to be noted that while Aziraphale is a problem solver he is often in denial over issues relating to heaven, hell, god and sometimes Crowley (due to his idealism, indoctrination fear etc etc) So often times, Crowley is the first to notice the problem due to his realism and constant vigilance. But he fails to solve the issue because he wants to avoid it, never in denial but always running away from the issue at hand, he hates the thought of losing what he loves, time after time, because he cares to much. This is most clearly seen in the entire 'mystery' of s.2 and also the Armageddon of s.1. Crowley knows there is a problem and he knows the issues and worst case scenarios, with that information at hand all he tries to do is run. When he finds Gabriel he is scared, scared of losing the life they've built, scared of losing Aziraphale. But all he can think of is chucking Gabriel away, while Aziraphale is trying to solve the problem. And this is his fatal flaw, he cannot come to terms with the fact that he cannot run away forever, he needs to step up and confront his issues. He's far more self aware and realistic than Aziraphale, but he cannot for the life of him use that information. This causes them to fight, argue, miscommunicate, and its actively hurting their chances of freedom. Unless he confronts these sides and solves the issue (Armageddon, Gabriel etc) they would have come back to hurt them twice as hard.

At his core he ironically just like Aziraphale, he wants to live in a delusion, a fantasy, a dream. He runs away from the feelings of pain, of hurt, of suffering that comes from heaven, god and now Aziraphale, he refuses to confront it and move past it. He refuses to confront and move past his fall, his trauma. And this is where all his problems stem from.

The First meet:

They meet as he creates the nebula, and he's happy, he is so happy. This is what we get to know of him: he's powerful, he loves what he creates, he is happy. He has a purpose. But then he learns of god's plan, gods plan of taking all that he creates, all that he loves, gods plan of ripping it all to shreds. This is the first time he loses something. And obviously he questions, its ridiculous right? why create this nebula just to destroy it in 6000 years. And Aziraphale warns him, warns him not to question, but why? what is wrong with questioning, what's so wrong in asking a few questions? So he moves on. it's fine, he can convince god, the idea is insane anyway, god isn't that cruel, right? She can't be.

This is the first and last time he trusts god.

The Fall:

the beginnings of trauma, pain and self loathing.

While we don't know why he fell, it's clear how deeply this point in his life affects him, it is his major source of trauma. (I 100% believe that a major point in season 3, will be us learning why Crowley falls)

This is the source of where all his trauma and pain comes from, first he learns he will lose his creations in a mere 6000 years, then he loses his angel-ness. This is the point that changes him entirely, unequivocally, and permanently. He will never trust heaven, god or even hell again, because at this point he's already realized that its all the same. Their just on opposite sides of the same coin, he has already learnt the hard way that god is cruel, god is unfair and god is ruthless. and this, this leads him to become what he is today.

But this causes irreversible trauma, he avoids being vulnerable, he avoids dealing with problems because he knows just how big the issue is so he doesn't even try. Because of it, he grows to loath himself, he treats himself as if he isn't worthy, he simply isn't good enough, his entire being is not enough, not enough for Aziraphale, not enough for anyone. Yes he knows that his fall couldn't be his fault but he still treats himself that way, that somehow because of it he deserves nothing, a common response to a traumatic situation.

This becomes a foundational character trait of him: self loathing. It shows up in many ways, the way he refuses to associate himself with kindness, niceness and being good, his disposition to heaven and his own feelings of being 'unforgivable' makes him this way. Even when he clearly is doing a good thing, he refuses to acknowledge it.

Even if he believes heaven isn't good, it doesn't dispel the feelings of inadequacy, the fear that he will never be good enough for Aziraphale, that because he fell, he is not deserving of love

The Garden of Eden:

This is the second time he meets Aziraphale, a new being, one with experiences that he will spend the rest of his lifetime trying to protect Aziraphale from learning. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that this is the moment Crowley falls for the angel he will meet for another millennia.

He takes an immediate intrigue onto an angel who chooses to disobey god indirectly for the benefit of humanity, he watches an angel who thinks for himself, seemingly unpredictable, and treats him with kindness. He offer shelter of rain he does not understand without a thought, he offers safety, comfort and kindness to a demon. A demon who does not value himself, and yet he treats him like he deserves it. This is how Crowley knows, that there is an angel who isn't like the others, isn't like heaven, an angel that will do what's best for humanity. This one act of kindness is what Crowley will spend the rest of eternity paying back for.

The Flood:

If he had any semblance of trust in heaven in doing 'good' this is the point where its unequivocally gone. While he does see the fall as something not of his fault, a small part of him thinks the opposite even if logically he doesn't believe, but watching god ruthlessly kill off a multitude of people, of children that's his last straw. He cannot fathom the idea of hurting people, people who've done nothing wrong. It ironic really, the 'unforgivable' one has a far greater understanding than god and heaven and even Aziraphale for that matter.

2500 BC: The Story of Job

The beginning of a new dream, of a new side

After watching the flood, his animosity towards heaven only increases day by day but this, this instance exacerbates it. Now not only does heaven kill those who've done nothing wrong, now they want him to punish a man who has done nothing but be faithful to god by killing all that he loves and cares for. time and time again, he is forced to do the dirty work of heaven, just to prove a point.

But this time, Aziraphale is on his side, he questions the morality of this, he in the end goes against god, not indirectly but outright disobeys god. Here, for the first time Crowley sees an opportunity, that maybe, maybe with time and effort they could be on their own side, no more hell, heaven just them (not just the potential agreement, this is the first time he feels like he doesn't have to be alone)

"I'm a demon who goes as far along with hell as I can" -- "But what am I?" "Your just an angel who goes as far along with heaven as you can" "that's sounds um." "Lonely?" -- "But you said it wasn't" "I'm a demon, I lied."

In these two conversations he see's how both of them are so much more similar than they realize, how neither of them fit into either sides of the argument, they are just trying to do their best for humanity, and yes its lonely for him, but he see's how Aziraphale is just like him, he see's that maybe, just maybe there's a chance that they could be together, on their own side. He won't have to lie anymore about being lonely, because Aziraphale will be there.

1827: Edinburgh

At this point there's multiple instances of Aziraphale showing 1 dimensional viewpoints and moving backwards from his thinking and so Crowley tries to change his opinions, in a thinly veiled spectacle, he tries to show Aziraphale that not all 'bad' actions are truly that bad and that if we force humans to be at unequal footing the system just doesn't work. And it does change him a bit, but it can't rid the foundational problems that Aziraphale has, and his denial of heavens issues, that is something he needs to learn for himself, something that Aziraphale will become painfully aware in season 3.

Armageddon and Today:

In the face of Armageddon, he does what he knows best, he tries to run away, away from it all, a place where he and Aziraphale are safe and can be happy. But they wouldn't, they wouldn't be happy, he doesn't realize that he cant run forever and Aziraphale would be miserable if he knew that he could have changed things, and he wouldn't either, he would have to watch as he loses his creations. When he loves something (humanity, the stars, Aziraphale, his Bentley) he loves deep. He prioritizes it over anything else, it makes himself fiercely loyal, protective and immensely caring but also vicious to those that choose to hurt what he loves. And this is a recurring theme, Crowley loses what he loves, time and time again, he was about to lost humanity, he lost Aziraphale (temporarily) and In the end of season 2, he loses Aziraphale again. And this might finally change him, for him to realize he can't just avoid and run away, he needs to deal with his problems head on, he needs to move on from the fall. his own avoidance becomes selfishness and prevents him from helping humanity and solving issues that he understands and empathizes frankly better than Aziraphale. (re: grave digging incident 1827)

And just like running away from Armageddon, he needs to realize that without them spending time away from each other to grow and deal with their personal trauma head on instead of avoiding it, they won't be happy together. This is what will push him to grow, to change.

Growth, the way forward:

In the context of season 2 there is undeniable growth, he becomes far more emotionally vulnerable (which is in stark contrast to Aziraphale who becomes more physically vulnerable, initiating physical intimacy far more in season 2, makes it all the more heart wrenching when Crowley initiates it in the ending, it gives all the wrong reactions, the moment Aziraphale desired the entire season broken because he wanted it to be a happy moment).

In terms of his emotional vulnerability, he obviously finally communicates his feelings and desires for the first time, not with any hidden meaning, or indirectness, just pure honesty, his glasses casted away (a continuous metaphor to how open he is to a character), and also communicating when problems arise (when hell attempts to break in). And while his conversation with Gabriel alone, was all over the place and deeply emotional and frankly manipulative, it has to be said that he is finally showing how he feels, its unlikely he's told anyone this story, to protect Aziraphale.

But he lets it out, he finally lets himself feel the anger and recognizes his own pain, which is a big improvement from "Mr. I didn't fall i just vaguely sauntered down and never gonna talk about it because even I don't really know the reason but it definitely hurts"

He also shows subtle growth in terms of his own self esteem, he moves away from nearly exploding every time someone calls him nice to a more 'eh not really', he allows himself to think that maybe he is capable of being nice, the 4 years away from either side has allowed him to finally start viewing himself as worthy of Aziraphale, that he is enough as he is. So to see the ending from his perspective to see how he interprets Aziraphale asking him to be on his side is heartbreaking, all he can think:

"he wants to change me, I'm not enough, I need to be an angel to be worthy of him, I'm not enough."

In this heightened emotional state he doesn't think of stating actual facts like informing Aziraphale of their actual plan which historically at least stops him in his path to think. But he can't, it hurts to much so he throws anything, every feeling just to hope that Aziraphale will understand. But nothing works, and this might just be the last time he sees his angel, so he kisses him. Frantic and painful trying to show him just how much he feels. Its a desperate act, part of it to convince it but part of it is just selfish, because this might be the last chance he has to do it.

But all he gets is:

"I forgive you.." "Don't bother."

Even in his weakest state, thrown back into his feelings of inadequacy, he does not back down. The "I forgive you" line played through the centuries doesn't seem to mean forgiveness in a literal sense. Its Aziraphale's coded speech he loves using, to forgive is a disagreeing with him but not talking about it, pretending it didn't happen, a distancing tactic, yes I feel it too but lets pretend. His fear only lets him use code, when he flirts, its subtle. This is one of the many dances they do with each other. But this time, Crowley walks away, he finally ends this century long waltz around around each other.

He refuses to apologize for his feelings, for his opinions. And that is such an evident moment of self growth, that he will no longer apologize for being a demon and not wanting to be an angel, for refusing to change who he is and his feelings.

Season 3 will be undeniably hard on him, after losing everything (from the beginning of time to now) it will be the push he needs to stop avoiding his problems (which leads him to become selfish and unable to help humanity) and make a real change, he will confront his own trauma and finally be able to move past it. It will be hard but the reward for it will be worth it, finally they can be together.

note: Pt.2 on the fall, the trauma, coping mechanisms and thinly veiled metaphors coming tomorrow (hopefully)

Note 2: might make a post on 'forgiveness' from Aziraphale, because it is a tactic to distance, sometime remind that he still loves him and not leave any animosity but also he must be aware that it hurts him (and it could be on purpose)

#good omens #gos2 #aziraphale #good omens 2 #crowley #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #far too long and honestly a disservice to call it a shitpost #there might be one more post about the actions to each other #more to come in the next post about him because CLEARLY 2.5 k words ISNT enough #he might just be able to finally move past his trauma that he realizes his plants are a thinly veiled coping mechanism.#More details on trauma and coping mechanisms coming tomorrow (hopefully)#“everyday I'm getting closer to talking a bath with my toaster” - Crowley 2023

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forever--darling · 2 months

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summary: after three years spent away from home because of nasty divorce between your parents, you finally come back & realize that this time you might not be able to keep sam monroe away any longer.

pairings: sam monroe x reader

word count: 1.6k

warnings/notes: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of past feelings, mentions of childhood trauma, divorce, daddy issues, allusions to sex

masterlist

There was a lot of things you could attest to even only at twenty-one. After experiencing everything you had under one roof, it wasn’t hard not to grow up fast. To learn just how horrible it is loving someone because of what it can do to you. Something that still remained true even if both of your parents remarried because everything still sounded the same within that forsaken house.

The walls spoke the same languages that your parents would as they whispered, which eventually would become yelling. The indents still lingered with chipped paint near where your height marks resided in the doorframe. It was just as it had been at six and then eleven. Yet at twenty-one, having come home for the first time in over three years, to a house that now only is full of your father’s stuff, it only felt more vacant. More sad and debilitating.

Your sister never seemed to really accept any of that though, instead choosing to ignore it in favor of the free meals your father cooked or the platinum credit cards he would hand over. Something you were sure would pass along to you as well, anything to try and make you forget it all. But you didn’t. You couldn’t.

Which was why you still hadn’t ever been in a relationship, let alone ever hangout with anyone long enough to form an attachment. It was the only real reason you had never made a move on Sam Monroe when you were seventeen and in high school. Even as you both sat on a dusty couch littered with weed and beer in some abandoned basement. Even as he stared at you the way he had from behind, the black eyeliner and shadow, blue eyes practically undressing you, almost pulling you forward by a string. You had been a little high and a lot drunk, and yet, you still couldn’t. Not even after having had a crush on him for well over three years. Three years and you left that basement without one kiss or his fingers even tracing along the inside of your underwear.

Seventeen and even then you couldn’t let yourself like someone let alone get to the point of loving them.

So, how would it be any different? Sam Monroe stood in front of you that afternoon, under the hot sun, just outside the new house he and his father had built. Sweat stuck to his shirt, dark hair still present but void of blue dye. His piercings were there but left empty, and you couldn’t see any makeup. It hadn’t even looked like him at first.

But it was, and the shirt gave him away, that in the way your stomach immediately clenched, the familiarity of him enough to make you fall back into that last summer spent in that town before you left for college.

“Y/N?” his voice was deep, deeper than you had remembered, a sudden twang of confusion filling your ears as he processed your presence.

Standing in your father’s driveway, boxes scattered at your feet, hair pulled back messily out of your face, and beads of sweat appearing along your shoulders and neck. Still beautifully you.

“Sam, hi!”

You were just as surprised as him. Even more so as he seemed so different and yet still completely Sam; just taller, broader, even more like his father than you were expecting.

“You’re here.”

It sounded so much more like a question than a statement.

“Yeah.”

“Like you’re here in your dad’s driveway.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, “Yes.”

“It’s been three years.”

You stiffened, feeling as if your bones would break like they really did feel how long it had been and how much time had passed. It really had been that long. “I know. It’s been a while.”

“Too long, really,” he admitted, and somehow it had never sounded so charming before than it had then. That sudden shock seemed to melt away, and what only remained was a softness you hadn’t seen in him before. A teasing smile appeared as he took you in again.

You felt the lump appear in your throat, somehow matching the tightness in your chest. It was only Sam who could ever make you feel that way, even after three years.

“How are you?” he asked, stepping forward, his hand extending almost as if he wanted to touch you, possibly pull you into him. You didn’t know, but some part of you wished it would be the latter. A part of you craved a touch you had never met before.

“I’m good. Really good, actually.”

“Yeah, it looks that way,” he replied, enough to stain your cheeks with a newfound pink. “How in that time did you manage to grow up?”

“Me?” you giggled, pushing him lightly, your fingers lingering where they touched his forearm, “Look at you.”

He chuckled, that glint evident as ever, “What about me?”

“You have a house, Monroe. An actual house that I’m sure you pay taxes on with a job.”

“Yes.”

“And college?”

“Online classes, yeah,” he confirmed and you coudn’t deny the wide smile that appeared.

Almost like a swell of pride had formed — a sudden amazement that he really had done it proved everyone wrong in that fucking town.

“That’s great, Sam. It really is,” you smiled, that urge to touch him again appearing, but it somehow waned at the thought, “I was sorry to hear about your dad.”

He cleared his throat, the light diminishing but only briefly as his eyes danced across yours, almost trying to find something in them, “Yeah, thanks.”

“I can’t assume it was easy.”

“No.”

“I wish we could’ve been here for the funeral. I wanted to, but my professors wouldn’t let me reschedule my exams.”

“It’s okay, I understand. Both your parents sent very kind letters to us. I really appreciated them.”

You nodded, not knowing a response to it other than you should have done more. Texted, called, or tried to come back earlier, earlier than now, when you were only moving home for the summer. It was Sam. The way you felt about him was everything, really. Yet you were too consumed in the comfort of the distance and hiding. That was what you had focused on for so long.

Your head bowed, eyes unable to meet his, instead finding comfort in his sambas, and the green grass. Inhaling, you glanced up at the house. The house you never even saw complete until then. You took it in. “It truly is a beautiful house. You guys did a great job.”

“Yeah I think so too. Plus, it looked like it needed an adult to live in it.”

You looked back at him, the teasing demeanor having completely taken over his expression in the form of dark knitted brows and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth. “Adult?”

“Yes, since you think I’m so grown up.”

“You are, and I never thought I would see the day, Monroe. But, it seems I have.”

“It seems so. Finally, Y/N Y/L/N is home.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, somehow feeling a small sliver of the universe realign. Perhaps by the way he was looking at you or the reality that would become of you because of him. Feelings you were sure never really left in the first place. “I will say not much has changed around here. Well, except for one thing.”

His brows furrowed, lip lifting in interest as you took in his clean face.

“The black eyeliner. I'm not lying when I say I might miss it.”

��Really?” he chuckled.

“Yeah, it was totally working.”

“Working?”

You nodded, a teasing look of your own apparent, “Yeah. It was hot. Hm, just never thought you would be so different.”

“Different?” he scoffed, the words somehow completely wrong as they left your lips, “I’m not that different, Y/N. I’m still me.”

“Right,” you nodded, eyes following how his chest rose and fell, the t-shirt alone catching your attention, the bright yellow words somehow something you would expect to be said, “Well, I’m glad some things stayed the same.”

He smirked, following my gaze to the front of his shirt. It was black with bright yellow bolded writing which said, ‘I’m good in bed. I can sleep all day.’ The same type of fucking shirt that seventeen-year-old him would wear, seeming unable to part from the looks he would get when people would read them.

“God, you wore stupid shirts like this all the time.”

“Hey! I find them pretty funny. They’re charming if anything.”

“Charming?” you laughed, the word fitting Sam exactly though you were sure no other girl would have described it that way back then. “It can only be charming if it’s true.”

“True?”

“Yes,” you replied, the word a mere mumble as you truly noted how it felt with him standing so close, looming over you.

“Well, how about you can be the one to decide if it’s charming. Let you tell me if I am good in bed or not. Would make for an interesting summer, wouldn’t it?”

You knew then you were fucked. So completely and inevitably because you had waited that long. Since you were seventeen sitting in that hot gross basement, him only a few inches from you. You had waited, and suddenly Sam seemed so much more tantalizing, enough so you would maybe give in. Just this once.

#inbox #anon inbox #💌 asks #anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #hayden christensen #hayden christensen x reader #blurb #sam monroe imagine #sam monroe x reader

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matan4il · 1 year

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Buddie 616 meta

Maybe I’ll start with Eddie confirming something I’d already discussed in my meta posts more than once before, most recently in my 614 meta, which is that he married Shannon because she got pregnant. He heavily insinuated this to Bobby back in 217, but now he said it explicitly, to everyone, and without the same kind of weight which we saw from him in the past. I think this change is indicative of how he IS healing from the trauma of how badly his marriage failed and how guilty he’s felt over it, now that he’s capable of talking about it more lightly than he did before. I love that for our boy. ~~

Speaking of these men actually being boys, moron husbands, partners in dumbness, we got Buck and Eddie sharing one brain cell and NOT putting it to good use. Even though in the overall scheme of 911 things, that might not seem that significant, I have to say I just love seeing them like that. It’s FUN seeing them being morons who support each other in the way they try to deal with Chim thinking that just popping the question to Maddie is enough, or in Eddie supporting Buck’s dumbass suggestion of a flash mob, or just being pressed together in the fire truck ‘coz they never have any personal boundaries with each other and they don’t understand why those would even be needed (seriously, don’t think too long about how all of a sudden five people had to squeeze in the back instead of four, and OF COURSE it would be Buck and Eddie rubbing thighs together, because no other pair out of the whole team is as comfortable with each other’s bodies). This may not be the deepest part of their bond, but it IS a part of it, a consistent one, the daily partnership that’s the foundation for the big, important, profound parts. ~~

Once again, we get a demonstration of how the way Buck and Eddie are with each other is different to how they act with their other friends. Even when Eddie is exasperated with Buck, he never actually gets upset, he just tries to get Buck to focus, like we saw him in 516. But with Ravi, Eddie does kinda snap.

Buck as well, when he hears some unpleasant truths about Madney from Hen, there’s no fondness underlining their talk, as much as we know that they DO love each other and have a sibling-like relationship. But compare that to how insufferably affectionate the glances that Buddie exchanged in 504 were as Eddie did essentially the same thing for Buck. ~~

And then of course, we see how Hen has Chimney’s back in this ep, putting his well being first, but she does end up hurting him. They talk it over, and within the same ep she apologizes, he forgives her, everything is resolved, and they move. It’s lovely, but think about the difference in intensity between this and what Buddie went through back in s3. Buck files the lawsuit that would stop him from seeing Eddie in 304. Then the very reserved Eddie has a public meltdown, in the middle of a store, and right in front of his colleagues, because he can’t deal with Buck not being in his life. In fact, that’s the final straw that makes Eddie turn to street fighting. Not only that, because the intensity of his feelings overwhelms him, he doesn’t even directly express his hurt, he uses Chris to convey how much Eddie himself is missing Buck. When Buck realizes just how much pain he unintentionally caused, he wants to apologize, but Eddie is too hurt to be able to hear him out right away. It’s only in 306 that they finally talk, Eddie forgives Buck and then we get the beauty of their hug. But this is STILL not the final piece, no. The show will get back to this in the kitchen scene in 309, where Buck shows Eddie he’s worth apologizing to a second time (even though he’s not even asking Buck to), and the final shot of this is the domestic image of Buddifer on the couch, playing video games together. This is when we know that all is TRULY forgiven, when we get to see them once more as a family unit. Because that’s what they are on top of being best friends, like Hen and Chimney. ~~

I’ll point out that Madney and Buddie paralleling is not new. This has been an ongoing theme since Buck and Chim’s new love interests were both introduced in 201, and since Madney got their onset in 206. The very fact that Maddie thinking Chim’s cute is revealed through a dialogue between the Buckley siblings that also indicates Buck sees Eddie in the same light says it all. I have also gone on about how Buck and Maddie served as truth tellers, voicing their sibling’s crush back to them, I have talked about how Madney were friends first, incredibly domestic friends with their own intertwined routine, before they became explicitly romantic, I wrote a whole meta post about the parallels between Madney and Buddie in 512, and now I can add to this. Because Madney easily fell into the comfort of domestic life, Chim told us this week that got in the way of them stopping to make their commitment official. That’s in a sense Buddie’s story, too. They’ve been building their lives and family unit together without even clocking that they can and should stop to figure out what this thing between them is, and commit to it.

~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)

~~ ~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.

~~ I’m so thankful to the amazing @whosoldherout for the meta gifs she does each week! They’re always challenging, and you always manage to knock it out of the park!

~~ Thank you to anyone supporting these meta posts. I could never express enough how grateful I am and that they continue to exist thanks to you!

#buddie #911meta #buddie meta #911 meta #9-1-1 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 #buddieedit #911edit #madney #911 spoilers #wm #buddie gifs #buddie edit #911 on abc #911abc #911 abc

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strongheartneteyam · 7 months

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[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to @cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems

Part 4

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: sexual language, angst, past relationship trauma, touching in a sexual way, commitment issues, mentions of sex, trust issues, neteyam is head over heels for reader, fluff, a bit more about when neteyam and reader would see each other around before the beach party, mentions of drinking too much, reader is allergic to romantic feelings (but it's actually just her trauma talking), confessions of feelings, yearning, sexual tension, some funny vibes, heartbroken neteyam. Not sure if there's more. If there is, pls, tell me <3

Hi, hunny bunnies 💕 I'm really tired and sleepy rn (as I always am, right? lol) but I got inspo and finally got a break from my writer's block so I just rushed to wash the dishes as fast as I could and as soon as I finished it I ran to finish writing this chapter (a part of it had been sitting on my Google Docs for a while lol) and now I'm posting for you guys 🥰 Hope y'all like it and I'm so sorry for any mistakes or some parts that might not make total sense (if there are any lol who knows). I'm so sleepy that idk if I'll be able to proofread it completely now. But I will soon! Leaving comments down below will make this writer as happy as a kitten drinking milk teehee 😸 I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH kiss kiss ‼️💌

Slightly proofread.

Part 3: I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

𓇼

My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

Midnight Rain (Taylor Swift)

𓇼

You woke up with a ray of sun shining way too bright directly at your eyes. You realized with a startle that you were in Neteyam’s arms and as you slowly became aware of your surroundings and your memory became clear… oh, shit… You had sex with him last night. No, no! Why did you drink those three glasses of champagne last night? Everytime you drank too much you ended up doing something stupid. Of course last night would not be an exception.

You could feel his slender, soft but toned legs intertwining with your much smaller ones. You felt his warmth, his strong arms holding your tiny in comparison figure, helping you stay warm even if the ocean breeze was chilly so early in the morning in Awa'atlu.

Neteyam's heart was big, very big when compared to the one of a human male, so, as he peacefully slept while embracing you, you could hear his heartbeat extremely clearly. It was soothing, though. A little louder than the human guys you had been intimate with previously and had slept by their side but it was calming. His embrace felt comfortable, like a place you could… call home…?

You felt a stab in your heart. Anxiety. Nervousness. Almost like a fight or flight feeling. No, you could not be getting attached.

His scent was good, cozy and you could easily get used to having it all over you, to wake up to that, to smell it on your clothes so very often.

And that thought scared you. Saying you had commitment issues was an understatement.

You felt Neteyam moving behind you. He was slowly waking up.

"Morning, oeyä sevin syulang" (my beautiful flower) His voice was hoarse as he had just woken up and he had a heavy na'vi accent when pronouncing the "R" in "morning". His accent lured you in way more than you liked to admit.

You hated how much Neteyam could make you feel vulnerable. You did not like the feeling of vulnerability.

Everytime you let a guy get on your vulnerable side before, you ended up sobbing while sitting on the floor, listening to a stupid, sad break up song and, sometimes, stuffing your stomach with chocolate, ice cream or pizza. And that was when you were able to eat. Sometimes the lump in your throat was so big you couldn't even swallow without being reminded of the pungent ache in your heart.

"Morning." You said nervously. It sounded dry. You did not mean to sound rude or distant but you ended up sounding exactly like that.

“Did you sleep well, tawtute?” Neteyam asked, his eyes still half lidded and he was smiling tenderly at you

Damn, you had to admit he was freaking cute when all sleepy like this. Just like a house cat waking up from a good deep sleep…

Ok, stop it!

“Uh… yes. Yes, I did sleep well. Thank you.” God, how awkward was that?

It seemed like Neteyam was too mesmerized by you to even notice your awkwardness.

“You’re beautiful. My sevin tawtute.” he said

“Wait, what?! Yours?!” you protested, a frown on your face

“Yeah.” Neteyam smiled, a bit sheepishly “Did I make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” his expression looked like he was being sincere

“It’s okay.” it was all you said

“I wanna tell you something.” Neteyam said, smiling softly though he was afraid of your reaction once he said what he wanted to say

“What in hell could he want to tell me? Oh, God…” you thought

“I…” he hesitated for a while. Was he getting shy? “I’m in love with you, (y/n).”

“You’re what?!” You sat up on the hammock in a swift motion

“See?! I should have never come here to meet him in the first place. That’s what you get for following your instincts and not your rational brain.” those words ran through your anxious mind

“Hey.” Neteyam said as he sat up too, trying to calm you down as you truly seemed alarmed. He smiled but you could tell there was tension all over him too. “Hear me out, please.” He pleaded. His tone was as calm as he could manage to keep it. “I just didn’t want to tell you because I could tell you’re afraid of falling in love. I’ve heard you talking to your girl friends about boys, about your lame ex boyfriends and how they made you want nothing to do with relationships anymore.”

“Were you spying on me?” You said, incredulous

“No, tawtute!” Neteyam chuckled at your accusation “It’s not like we’ve never been close to each other before the party. I know you’ve seen me before when you came to my tribe to conduct your scientific researches. I always made an effort to be around you, I just never approached you but I never tried to hide the fact that I had a crush on you. I was always staring at you. And I know you noticed!” He chuckled “One time you caught me staring from afar and met my gaze but you soon looked away and after that I started feeling like you were avoiding looking in my eyes again. Was I right?” he questioned, with his brows furrowed but he still didn’t seem to feel defeated. Even after you had reacted like you were afraid of his words, Neteyam still had his lips curled up in a slight smile.

You looked at him with eyes that let him know you were trying to conceal your embarrassment. You did know Neteyam had noticed you had been trying to avoid him at all costs as soon as you noticed he seemed to be attracted to you but having him throw that fact in your face felt surprisingly uncomfortable and your cheeks did get a little pinkish.

“Maybe I was.”

“Of course you were. Everybody noticed. Lo’ak even made fun of me for that.” he shook his head from side to side while chuckling at the thought of his younger brother teasing him

"I'm sorry." You couldn't help but laugh a little bit

"Don't apologize. It's fine. I like a challenge." He smirked at you in a flirtatious way

"Neteyam, I think we should-"

"Just let me tell you everything I need to, please!" He interrupted, almost begging you

You sighed "Okay…" You sounded tired and a little annoyed

"After I got a good chance to talk to you last night, at the party, I fell for you. Hard. It's not just a crush anymore." His pretty face looked happy while he confessed his feelings for you, even if there was a little bit of angst inside his chest "I didn't bring you here to my hammock just to fuck you. I brought you here to make love to you. It wasn't just sex for me. I wanna ask you to be my mate. I hope you don't run away scared now… 'Cause that would kill me, my sevin tawtute. You're so perfect... I wanted you last night and I know I will want you forever. Please, please, let me be your mate. Or your husband, as you humans say. I know it's unexpected and it seems too soon, but this is our way. My people don't necessarily have to know someone for a long time before choosing them to be their mate." He explained to you "I don't want to ever be away from you. I couldn't. Not now that I have talked to you, laughed with you, laid next to you…" He brushed his warm hand through the outer part of your thigh, moving it upwards "Felt your pussy around my cock, so soft and inviting, so warm and wet inside, all for me..." Neteyam's breath was a bit labored, his hand still touching your skin, while he whispered those dirty words to you, remembering what you two had done while it was still eclipse "Please, be mine."

"It'd be great." You said. Neteyam smiled widely, not being able to grasp the real meaning of your words "But it could never work. Not between you and me. Not between a na'vi and a human. I'm so sorry. I have to go. My friends must be worried about me. I didn't tell Adeline where I was going before I left last night. She must be worried sick. See you around. I guess..." You said, as you got out of Neteyam's big hammock, as fast as you could, feeling the warm beach sand covering your toes as soon as your feet hit the ground, leaving Neteyam confused, still trying to wake up from his wishes and touch reality.

He knew you were afraid of committing to a lifelong relationship but he thought that maybe you would say "yes" to what he was proposing to you. Or that you would at least ask for some time to think. Neteyam did not think you would reject him so fast and bluntly like that. Especially since he was used to having girls crushing on him and throwing themselves at him all the time. Not only na'vi girls, there were many human girls who tried to seduce him as well but even though he did feel attracted to some of them, he felt that there was always something missing. Neteyam did value personality a lot, even if he was just going to mess around with the girl, and none of the other human girls had a personality that he truly liked. But you did. And of course you would be the one to reject him. His ego was screaming like a spoiled little brat at that moment as he laid back at his hammock, throwing his body with full force against its surface and exhaling strongly in frustration.

There was a lump in his throat and his heart was hurting like never before. No girl had ever made Neteyam feel that way. All he wanted was for you to accept him, to want to be with him.

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003 (you left a cute comment on the last chapter so I figured you'd like to be tagged ♡ lemme know if I'm right in the comments pls lol)

@lala-1516 (you also left a nice comment on the last chapter so I'm tagging you baby <3 lemme know if u want me to keep tagging u)

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

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mysadcorner · 1 year

Note

Titans series characters (both boys and girls if you could write) think they only care about reader friendly but end up realize they’re in love with them. And confessing hcs please 🙏 🙏

Titans Confessing to Reader Headcanons

- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in requests -

Masterlist Navigation

Dick Grayson

• Dick would probably be oblivious to like you when he first starts to catch feelings, but that's mainly because he hasn't gained an instant crush on you, he's gotten to know you and like you for who you are deep down. Because of this he'll just feel drawn closer to you before he realizes what he's feeling.

• Dick would become very protective of you before he confesses, and this will cause others to gain a little understanding about how he's feeling about you. Especially once he tries to give you roles where you'll be kept the most out of harm's way.

• He would feel nervous about ruining his relationship with you when he finally realizes how he's feeling, and he certainly doesn't want to spoil it. So it might take him a while to confess, but after a while, he'll commit to it and speak to you about how he's feeling.

• Confessing would be slightly awkward for Dick, since he usually doesn’t need to go out of his way to form a relationship with someone. But for you, he’s more than willing to and will try his best to get you alone and in private to confess.

• After confessing Dick would be very impatient about whether you feel the same way, he wants to know but he’ll come across like he’s fine with waiting. In reality he’s dying inside, and won’t feel any form of relief until you’ve responded to his confession.

Jason Todd

• Jason would get pretty flustered around you when he first realised he liked you. He’d hate how easily his feelings affect him and might even get frustrated about it, causing him to avoid you at first so he doesn’t snap or embarrass himself.

• Before he realised that he liked you, he would have just thought he got jealous and protective of you easily - wanting to keep people with bad intentions away from you. Once he realises what he actually is feeling it all makes sense, and he learns how to behave less protective around you so that you can feel more comfortable.

• Jason may need to confide in someone before he’s able to confess you you about his feelings. He’d need to be reassured because of how self conscious he is deep down, but he knows that you’re unlikely to reject him because of how close you are to each other.

• Jason would leave the confession until you’ve found yourselves in a sentimental and meaningful situation. Maybe when he’s opening up to you about his past and the trauma he’s trying to move on from will he confess to you since he’s finally allowed himself to become vulnerable about his feelings.

• After confessing, Jason would feel fine with leaving you alone so you can take time to think about his confession. He’d probably end up leaving completely for a while from the team if you rejected him, but if you felt the same way about him then he’ll give you everything in the world.

Rachel Roth

• She would subtly start to spend more time with you once she realises that she likes you. She doesn’t want to say outright that she likes you, so will slowly wait to see if you give her any hints first.

• Before she realised that she liked you, Rachel would just assume that you two had gotten very close together and had formed an incredible bond. Because of this, most people notice that she likes you before she does herself.

• Rachel would spend a lot of time by herself thinking about whether she should confess to you, and after this she’ll seek the advice of people she trusts. Only then will she decide whether confessing to you is a good idea.

• Rachel would want to confess to you in a very relaxed and comfortable situation, probably when the two of you are spending some quality alone time together like watching a movie or just hanging out. She doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable by confessing to you in front of other people, so she’d keep this moment private.

• After confessing, Rachel would want to talk about what you’re thinking or feeling about her confession. She wants to make sure she hasn’t made you uncomfortable, and even if you don’t feel this same way her talking to you about it makes sure you can still have a good friendship.

Garfield Logan

• Garfield would be very obvious when he first starts to like you. He can hardly contain his excitement to see you every day and will turn into a blushing, stuttering mess if you also notice his liking to you and decide fluster him a little bit.

• He wouldn’t really have any feelings in between pure friendship and liking you because he moved between the two stages so quickly. Instead he would just be trying his best to feel comfortable around you again without making a situation flustered or embarrassing for himself.

• Everyone would be hyping Garfield up to go and confess his feelings to you, mainly because he does start to doubt himself when it comes to actually telling you how he feels. But with enough encouragement he’s able to tell you and be honest about how he’s feeling towards you.

• Actually confessing would be a big deal for Garfield and would have been very hard for him to do. He’d want to ease you into it though and make it easy for himself too, so expect him to do it in a private but very casual and comfortable setting.

• After confessing Garfield would be very anxious, especially since he doesn’t want you to reject him. But once you reassure him that this isn’t going to happen he’s ecstatic and unable to contain his joy in the moment.

Kory Anders

• Kory would make it known that she likes you because she has the confidence to do so and hates to waste time. She lives a dangerous life, so there’s no point in denying herself the things in life that will make her happy.

• She probably always knew that she had feelings for you a little bit deep down, but may not have wanted to act on them if you were in a dangerous situation or place in your lives at the moment. Either way she’ll show you how much she cared for you and try to put her feelings across without making you uncomfortable.

• She wouldn’t need to hype herself up about confessing to you because she knows that when she feels something it’s best to just get it out. She doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable too, so if you don’t feel the same way back she’ll give you space until your friendship together has evened out.

• Confessing would be very short, sweet and to the point for Kory. She doesn’t want to drag things on for a while and always wants to be completely honest with you, because of this she’ll always be open about how she’s feeling.

• After confessing, Kory will give you space if you ask for some but she’d mainly prefer the two of you to talk about how a relationship may progress (and if there will even be one). She’s fine with whatever you decide, but rejection will obviously make her feel down for a while.

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pjohoo-reclists · 9 months

Text

30k+ Completed Percy - Centric Fic Recs

Request: Anyone have any good, long, finished stories that focus on Percy? Really any variation, other than him killing everyone. No Percy/Nico, Percy/Jason or Percy/Rachel.

Here's a few. Just a heads up, a couple of these fics are completed but their series aren't. Posted 11/8/23. Enjoy!

I am not what I expected (The poison just didn't take) by dcninja for Sappho_of_Space

M | 30k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Hermes, Percy Jackson & Hades, Percy Jackson & Poseidon, Percy Jackson & Kymopoleia

Post Second Giant War, Powerful Percy Jackson, Ascension, Hermes is a good friend

After the War against Gaea, Percy finds himself struggling in the life he worked so hard to get back to. The more he tries to fit back in, pushing down his powers and emotions after the war, the more things seem to fall apart. As Olympus prepares to officially reopen at the Winter Solstice, Hermes takes notice that something is off with the Savior of Olympus. But when he asked for help from Hades, none of them could imagine what Percy’s trip to the Pit led to and what it will mean for the hero. Or Percy finally reckons with the consequences of challenging Akhlys with a little help from his immortal family, who he might be around for a lot longer than he thought.

Of Gods and Men by plottingalong

T | 40k | Complete

Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Paul Blofis/Sally Jackson, Paul Blofis & Percy Jackson

Post-Tartarus, Immortal Percy Jackson, Sad Percy Jackson

The order of things are changing. Old rules are shifting, old gods awakening. Percy Jackson must come to terms with his own mortality, or rather, the lack of it.

Trading Tomorrow by Darkmagyk, loosingletters

T | 44k | Complete

Luke Castellan/Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson

Time travel fix it, Luke Castellan Redemption, Childhood Trauma

Percy Jackson arrives at Camp Half-Blood bruised and bleeding, with the knowledge that he's the son of a god and his mother is dead. His little display with the Minotaur has caught the attention of the camp. But he’s not sure it is good attention, yet. Only the Hermes Cabin's not-quite Co-counselor Theseus, ‘call me Theo,’ doesn't treat him like a fascinating zoo exhibit. Which would be a relief, except he looks exactly like Percy: same green eyes, same trouble making smile, same black hair. The only differences are the fact that Theo is six years older, covered in battle scars, and the black tattoo on his arm. A trident and the letters SPQR. Theo is eighteen, powerful, and unclaimed. And his resemblance to Percy could set a dangerous precedent.

We shall meet again in the morning sun by iwillpassthis

T | 55k | Complete

Percy Jackson, Chiron, Gods and Goddesses (Percy Jackson)

Time Travel, Ancient Greece, Post-Canon

Percy is eighteen when the gods disappear. Percy is not even born when he has to save them. OR Of Percy's journey to Ancient Greece. Saving the world is a trial and error process isn't it?

Bloodlines by peachsocks

T | 61k | Complete

Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo & Thalia Grace & Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-The Blood of Olympus (Heroes of Olympus), Angst with a Happy Ending

After a year of avoiding Camp Half-Blood (and his friends, and everyone, and everything) in the aftermath the Giant War, Percy returns. He quickly realizes that the gods never change, running from the past never works, and family is the one thing that might make all of the nonsense worth it.

Camera Shutters by nlpiersee

T | 66k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Apollo, Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood

Post Trials of Apollo, Coping, Moving on, Percy opens up

Percy is working in a cafe, living that demi-god college life. Or trying to. He's still not certain what he's going to school for just yet, but he's enjoying the swim team and being able to see his friends in a place he doesn't really have to worry about monsters. But he catches the attention of a photographer who thinks that Percy is what the world needs to see. And since Percy is impulsive, he decides, why not?

Fishing in Alaska by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle

G | 112k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson & Triton, Percy Jackson & Poseidon

Family Feels, PTSD, Triton is a Good Sibling

[Note: fic was deleted from ao3. Link is to a google drive copy. The hassle is worth it].

"This... this would qualify as a mental breakdown right?" Triton asked, frowning over his shoulder to where Percy was still fuming gin the corner. The lady at the counter curiously glanced over before lifting a questioning brow. "My brother - half brother, technically, I have much better breeding - decided to run away from home to where our father can't reach him and now he won't leave. And now I can't leave unless he leaves," Triton continued. Percy opened his mouth to object that wasn't what happened at all, but the tyrant only waved a hand to silence him. "He's seen war or whatever, so if you could maybe just drug him and I'll throw him into a suitcase and we can be out of here by the Summer Solstice!" Silence. Finally, the woman cleared her throat and turned to Percy. "I'm guessing he's the one you want checked into the metal hospital?" She asked. Triton gasped as Percy punched the air in victory. "Aha!" Or Getting in trouble works a little differently when your parent is an all-powerful god. Sometimes you have to escape to the land beyond gods and get your immortal brother turned human to drag you back so you can be exploded into a million pieces. You know, normal teenage stuff.

Hold Tight and Pretend It's a Plan by Rynna_Aurelius

M | 112k | Complete

Annabeth Chase/Percy Jackson (Past), Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson & Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson & Triton

Time Travel fix it, Dysfunctional Family, BAMF Percy Jackson

Olympus has fallen. The second Gigantomachy has ended far differently than the first, and in Gaea's triumph, the world has been torn apart. But the Fates have seen what ends their failed meddling have brought, look on at the dead—and undo what should never have happened the only way they possibly can. Perseus Jackson, son of Poseidon, is returned to his twelve-year-old self, memories intact and determined to save everyone he can. But he is not alone. The Moirai underestimated the strength of the Lord of Time when stealing his power, and there is something about this particular demigod brat that intrigues him. . . Perseus Jackson came roaring to life with a violent gasp, green eyes wild. After a moment of panicked flailing and struggling to breathe, his fear-filled gaze settled upon a girl with blonde hair and stormy grey eyes, her face stern and unimpressed. "You drool in your sleep."

Stars on the Water by liketolaugh

T | 116k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Thalia Grace, Percy Jackson & Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson & Annabeth Chase & Grover Underwood

Percy Jackson Goes to Therapy, Past Child Abuse, Percy Jackson Needs a Hug

"I dunno, I just think it would make a lot of things easier for a lot of people," Percy said to Thalia, when she just stared at him. His cheek rested in his hand, a rare pensive look leaving his eyes distant and unfocused. "Mom has Paul now, so it’ll be easier on her if she doesn’t have to worry about me mucking things up. Dad won’t have to keep threatening war every time Zeus gets his toga twisted. The prophecy’s done, so I won’t be bringing it down on Nico. And no one will have to worry about me blowing up another volcano."

Who Would Dare? by PunkFlame

T | 120k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Triton, Percy Jackson & Poseidon, Poseidon & Triton, Amphitrite & Percy Jackson

Extreme Medical Trauma, Prince Percy, Seafam

"Listen." Triton's voice cut through Percy’s haze "We both know you're hurt, but you don’t have to play the hero. Now let me see your damn wound." Percy nodded, opening up his stance and allowing Triton to approach him. He lifted the hem of Percy’s shirt carefully, to reveal an inch deep gash that stretched from the top of his shoulder to his upper thigh. Triton froze, eyes widening in disbelief, but he remained silent. He reached out but stopped himself just short of touching the wound. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and grave. "Tell me who did this to you... Now." ________ Triton, at Poseidon's request, goes to seek out Percy; however, he finds him on the brink of death, and brings him back to Atlantis in an attempt to save his life. What will this mean for them, what will this mean for the royal family as a whole, and who would dare to have done this in the first place?

Green Day, Aerosmith, Vitamin C (and other cliches): Stories from Senior Year by No2Ticonderoga

M | 200k | Complete

Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase

Post Heroes of Olympus, High School, Sally Jackson is a Good Parent

Percy and Annabeth navigate the second half of their senior year, sweating out their grades, avoiding hallway hoodlums and the occasional monster. And there's that constant worry that something's gone wrong out west, since nobody seems to be able to communicate with them from out there. But it's not all bad. They finally get to do some normal high school-ly things. Like prom! And graduation! Still, they've got a lot on their minds. And nosy parents. Of both the mortal and the godly variety. A mostly fluffy look at their post-BOO relationship. Cameos by lots of folks. Rated mature, because high schoolers use bad language in real life. Shocking I know. *fans self like Hazel* And they get up to things when they're alone. Also, some nightmares and post-Tartarus trauma to deal with, in later chapters. See chapters for specific content warnings.

Nothing to make a song about but kings by iwillpassthis

T | 201k | Complete

Percy Jackson & Amphitrite, Percy Jackson & Poseidon

King!Percy, Undersea politics, Atlantis

Percy knelt before Atlantis’ throne, feeling the ancient power of the sea run through his veins in an uncoordinated dance. You are the sea now, it whispered, and the sea is you. A crown of gold and emeralds was placed on his head. Long live the king. Long live the king. . It’s a fortune that Poseidon has a mortal son, because when an ancient curse hits his kingdom and all the sea gods disappear… well, someone must rule.

alone at the edge of a universe by Sarcastic_Metaphor

M | 281k | Complete

Annabeth Chase & Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson & Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson & Poseidon, Percy Jackson & Grover Underwood, Nico di Angelo & Percy Jackson

Chaos!Percy, Powerful Percy Jackson, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence

The sea is not unlike the abyss; it is deadly, destructive. It hides secrets in its depths and threatens even those that know it well. The sea easily swallows life with no trace left behind. The sea can be quite similar to oblivion. But when the mood strikes them, both the oceans and the abyss can be tempted to create life instead. Or, a complete AU rewrite from pre-canon through all five PJO books: Percy is born a little less human and a little more otherworldly than healthy. With powers he was never meant to have, and a third parent he never wanted, the plans that the Fates originally made for him will be torn asunder.

85 notes · View notes

cariantha · 9 months

Text

A Kiss on the Hand (Part 3️⃣)

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Sawyer Brooks) Rating: General Warning: None Category: Hurt/Comfort; Angsty Fluff Word count: 2.9K Series Summary: After realizing just how much they mean to each other, Ethan and Sawyer express their love through a sweet hand gesture. A/N: Artwork by the incredible @/artbyainna on Instagram. This is a three-part series. Part three inspired by 400 Trillion by Justin Jesso and Like I Need You by Culture Code & Elle Vee.

Part One: Soulmates / Part Two: Always Three Times

Part Three: I Know What You Mean

It felt like a scene from a movie, where the character stands still as the world around them moves in fast motion. Sawyer was that character. Frozen in place as the emergency room swirled around at light speed.

Megan, the nurse who received the dispatch from EMTs, darted down the hall to inform Dr. Edwards, the Head of Trauma. Other nurses jumped into action preparing the available trauma room for the inbound patient. And remaining staff members turned their heads and gasped as Ethan's name traveled between the exam curtains.

Dr. Edwards soon appeared leading a team of gowned and gloved residents to the ambulance bay. As he strode past, he instructed the desk supervisor to page the Chief of Medicine. Jackie was among the group. She noticed the look of shock on Sawyer’s face as she rushed by and pointed at her.

“Hey, Brooks, you good?” she called.

At her friend’s voice, Sawyer snapped to attention and lied with a nod. She shook the haze from her head and followed Jackie to the ambulance bay, grabbing a paper gown and a pair of gloves on the way.

She stood behind the others who waited in suspense, poised to spring into action as soon as the ambulance arrived. Sawyer barely managed to unfold and glide her arms into the gown. Her hands trembled violently, making it impossible for her to hold them still long enough to put on her gloves.

The crash of a metal door slamming against the wall startled her. When she looked over her shoulder, she saw Naveen hurrying in their direction. He shook his head in disapproval when he spotted Sawyer.

Meeting her watery, pleading gaze, Naveen took the gloves from her shaking hands and pulled the paper cover down and off. After tossing them into a nearby receptacle, he took her hands and held them between his own.

“As hard as it might be, Sawyer, we are both going to sit this one out and let the others take care of him. Okay?” He patted her hands, then looped her arm through his and held on tight. Naveen, though wise and level-headed, seemingly needed her support as much as she needed his.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity, the sound of a siren and flashing red lights announced the arrival of Aid Car 23. The trauma team dashed out into the rain, returning seconds later with a gurney and an EMT calling out vital signs. Sawyer only saw the blur of a bloodied face as Ethan was wheeled past. His jacket and shirt had been cut open, and someone was using an Ambu bag to ventilate him, squeezing it over his mouth every few seconds.

No longer needed, the EMT stepped back. Sawyer threw her arm out to stop her.

“Holly, do you know what happened? How he got hurt?”

“They were at the scene of a car accident on the bridge. A woman was trapped in her car, and Dr. R was trying to stabilize her until the fire department got there to extricate. Nick said a large truck sped toward them. When the driver finally decided to hit the brakes, he hydroplaned and slammed into them. One of the officers said the truck driver was on his goddamn phone and not paying attention.”

Sawyer’s hand covered her mouth as she tried to process the information. “Oh my god … is … is Nick okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. He had gone back to the rig for supplies and wasn’t hit. He was able to call for back-up.”

“And the person trapped in the car?” Naveen inquired. “Are they on their way?”

Holly shook her head no. “Nick said she was already in critical condition before the second impact. She was pronounced on scene.”

Another dispatch came in on Holly’s radio and she excused herself.

Sawyer turned to Naveen. Unable to keep her composure any longer, she collapsed into his open arms. “I begged him not to go,” she cried into her grand-mentor’s shoulder.

Naveen softly patted her on the back, then pulled away to look her in the eyes.

“Sawyer, you know better than anyone … Once Ethan sets his mind to something, it’s difficult to convince him otherwise. Especially if it means saving lives.”

Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he led them to just outside the trauma room, where they watched the team assess Ethan's injuries through a sliding glass door.

Inside the small room, there was organized chaos.

“Hemopneumothorax,” Edwards called out. “Prep for a thoracostomy and get Dr. Emery down here for a neuro consult. Stat.”

A minute later, he inserted a tube into Ethan’s chest wall. The vitals on the patient monitor began to improve, but Ethan was not out of the woods yet.

“Dr. Edwards, he’s awake!” one of the residents trumpeted a few moments later.

Ethan had opened his eyes. Confused, he surveyed the room as Dr. Edwards informed him that he had been in an accident.

The rest of his body immobile, Ethan’s eyes darted around the room, scanning every face.

“Soe?” he mumbled underneath the oxygen mask.

“Ethan, you’re at Edenbrook…” Dr. Edwards continued explaining.

“Soe?” he managed, his trembling voice a bit louder this time.

“We're treating you for a hemopneumothorax, and it looks like you took a nasty blow to the head.”

“Soe?” he asked again and again, each time a little more agitated than before.

The staff all looked at each other with concern before Ethan closed his eyes and drifted off again.

“Dammit! Where’s neuro?” Dr. Edwards vented.

Harper arrived a couple minutes later with Bryce, who was on her service for the week. One of the other residents provided a quick rundown of the case so far, including the fact that Ethan had been alert but incoherent. The neurosurgeon carefully inspected the laceration at his hairline and ordered a CT scan.

“Ethan, can you open your eyes for me?” she asked, getting her penlight ready.

Ethan slowly fluttered his eyes open.

“Good. Do you know who I am?”

She shone a light into his eyes and checked the dilation of his pupils.

“H-Harper.”

“Hi there, friend. Do you know where you are?”

“Hospital.”

She asked him a couple other simple questions to which he gave correct, but slow one-word responses.

“You did good, Ethan,” she laid her hand on his shoulder. Turning to Bryce and Jackie, she spoke softly, “Get him to CT right away.”

Ethan scratched at her hand, trying to get her attention. When she looked at him, he moved the mask away from his mouth.

“Where’s … Soe?” he tried again, hoping his friend would understand.

“Soe?” Harper repeated.

The others in the rooms shrugged their shoulders and shook their heads.

But not Bryce. On the other side of the glass door, he saw Sawyer nervously chewing on her thumb nail. He met her anxious gaze and smiled as he immediately understood.

Bryce was familiar with the moniker. He had heard it before when working out with his friends at the hospital gym.

He stepped forward so that Ethan could see his face. “She’s here, buddy. She’s right outside in the hall with Naveen,” Bryce answered, putting the mask back in place.

They saw relief wash over his features before he closed his eyes once again.

A short time later, the residents prepared to take Ethan up to surgery, and Dr. Edwards and Harper updated the chief.

“...X-rays confirmed he has several broken ribs, which caused the hemopneumothorax. We’re taking him up to surgery to repair the damaged tissue. Tanaka’s already scrubbing in,” Dr. Edwards reported.

“He also has a small brain bleed that requires decompression. I should be able to resolve it with a simple burr hole procedure,” the neurosurgeon added.

Harper put her hand on Sawyer's arm and gave it a light squeeze. “He was alert and responding to my questions. He was asking for you,” she said with a polite smile. Looking back to Naveen, “He’s in good hands. Tanaka and I will page you after the procedures.”

As the attendings took their leave, Jackie and another resident wheeled Ethan toward the elevator. With a tilt of her head, Jackie gave her friend permission to walk with them. Sawyer caught up and took his hand in hers.

“Ethan, it’s me. It’s Sawyer,” she said as his eyes cracked open. “Hi, I’m here. And I’ll be here when you get out of surgery. I’ll be here the whole time.”

As they waited for the elevator to arrive, Sawyer bent down and kissed his hand three times.

“You know what I mean, right?” she searched his eyes for understanding.

Ethan gave a slight nod and whispered, "Yes."

A lone tear escaped from the corner of his eye. Sawyer quickly swiped it away with her thumb and kissed his temple.

When the elevator chimed, Naveen pulled her back. “Come dear, let’s go back to my office and call his father. We can wait there for further updates.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

It was just past 8 a.m. when Ethan was finally transferred to the intensive care unit. Throughout the day, Alan, Naveen and Sawyer received updates from Harper and Dr. Tanaka. The surgeries had been successful, and so far there had been no complications, but the next twenty-four hours would be critical.

As day turned to night, Naveen offered to drive Alan back to Ethan’s apartment. The older men insisted Sawyer go home and get some rest, but she refused, wanting to be there when he woke up.

Finally alone with him, Sawyer stood at Ethan’s bedside, drawing lines up and down his arm with her finger.

“Hey you … it’s time to wake up now … even if just for a few minutes."

"I know you’re probably exhausted, and that you need the rest, but I really need to hear your voice and know that you’re okay."

"So … I’m sorry not sorry for what I’m about to do … and that’s to be a colossal pain in your ass. I’m going to stand here, and talk your ear off, until you wake up and tell me to shut up,” she let herself smile.

Sawyer took a moment to look him over. He looked so out of place lying in a hospital bed. He was meant to be the one standing next to it.

“You know … I wasn’t just kissing your ass when I told you I was your biggest fan. I meant it. I own three copies of Diagnostic Principles. I have a Google drive full of research papers and journal articles that you’ve authored. I even have a playlist of conference talks and podcasts,” she shook her head in self-amusement.

“Your approach to patient care … your forward-thinking techniques … the unbelievable diagnoses … all of it inspired me to become a doctor.”

She cupped her hand over his as if to soften the blow she was about to deliver.

“Though I have to confess … During my first week at Edenbrook … the saying ‘never meet your heroes’ came to mind several times. Geez, you were such an asshole,” she revealed.

“I also thought you were the most attractive man alive, but an asshole nonetheless.”

“Then … you let me see another side of yourself … I still don’t know why … but I’m grateful because I got to know the real you. I got to see you as Dolores’ friend … and Tadpole’s godfather … and Naveen’s adopted son … and then as my friend. And what I learned was that you are actually quite softhearted under all that armor. You are also generous … and loyal … honest … passionate … and protective … Oh, and don’t even get me started on that snarky sense of humor. Nobody makes me laugh the way you do.”

She exhaled a deep breath, gently squeezing his hand before continuing.

“Despite your best efforts to prevent it … I fell for you, Ethan. And not just head over heels … it was more like a ‘leapt from a steep cliff, rolled down the side of a mountain, bounced off every boulder, splashed into the ocean, and drowned in you’ kind of fall.”

“Hey, I saw that! I saw you roll your eyes underneath your eyelids," she chuckled.

Sawyer moved to sit on the edge of the bed, trying not to jostle him. She leaned forward and stroked his cheek ever-so-slightly.

“Do you remember that TED Talk where they mentioned that we have a one-in-four-hundred-trillion chance of being born?”

She took a quick peek out the window, looking up at the night sky.

“I can’t help thinking about that … against those odds, we never really stood a chance of ever meeting. But somehow … I stumbled upon your book … and my application to Edenbrook landed on your desk … and we were in that lobby at the same time.”

She bowed her head and wrung her fingers.

“Our … our fight yesterday … that’s basically the root of it. We’ve overcome these impossible odds and found each other. And … and I’m so scared of all the ways that I might lose you.”

“Then you add another, going out in that storm and getting hit by a truck!” she cried out, taking his hand again and holding it in her lap.

“You and I both know the past two years have been far from perfect … but that’s us. That’s our brand. And I wouldn’t change a thing. If it was all that we’ve been through, or nothing, I would want it all … because I need you,” Sawyer’s voice cracked as tears rained down her cheeks.

“I need you, Ethan,” she wept. “I know you would say that I don’t, but I do. I would have thrown in the towel so many times if it weren’t for you believing in me. Fighting for me. And I’m not just talking about my career … you were there on my darkest days. You wouldn’t let me give up, and you never gave up on me. I could never, ever express how much that has meant to me … how much you mean to me … but I want to try. So you really need to wake up soon.”

Carefully leaning over him, she placed a barely there kiss on his forehead.

“Babe … please … come back to me,” she whispered.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Sawyer dozed off in the armchair with her knees tucked under her chin. Sometime during the night, a thoughtful ICU nurse draped a blanket over her.

“Soe,” said a low raspy voice.

It sounded like her family nickname. Ethan learned of it when he met Sawyer’s siblings, following the attack. Lately, he had been using the pet name more and more often to call her when they were alone together. Thinking she either dreamt it or misheard one of the nurses talking outside, she shifted a little and tried to fall back asleep.

“Soe … Sawyer?”

There was no mistaking it that time. She opened her eyes to find Ethan looking at her, his hand outstretched beckoning her to come close.

She threw off the blanket and sprung to her feet, grabbing his hand and giving it a tender squeeze.

“Hiiiii,” her eyes welled with tears once again.

“Hi,” he stared back.

Sawyer looked at his bruised and battered face, and the bandage wrapped around his head. "How are you feeling?" she asked. "Do you remember what happened?"

The corners of his mouth turned up in a slight smile, “I feel like I got hit by a truck,” he half-joked.

“Give me one sec … Harper will want to know you’re awake.” Sawyer poked her head outside to inform one of the nurses and then returned to his side.

He tapped the bed, inviting Sawyer to join him. Perched on the edge, she could no longer hold back the tears of relief that streamed down her cheeks as they gazed into each other's eyes.

Ethan slowly lifted her hand to his mouth, kissing it three times.

“I know what you mean when you do that.”

“I surmised as much. When did you figure it out?” he wondered.

“You let it slip the night you got drunk,” she smiled, recalling the sweet moment.

“I see.”

Sawyer looked down at their clasped hands, Ethan's eyes following suit. They each steeled themselves to speak. To say those three little words.

It was Sawyer that worked up the nerve first.

“God, Ethan, I was so scared,” her voice shook. “I was scared that I was going to lose you and never be able to tell you how I feel. I’ve felt this way for a while, but I didn’t want to scare you away, or pressure you.”

She carried on, barely taking a breath.

“Had I figured it out sooner … had I realized you felt the same … I would have reciprocated. I would have said it back … out loud … and told you every day. So I’m going to do it now, and I don’t care if you–”

She was taken aback when Ethan pulled his hand away and pinched her lips shut to silence her rambling.

“I love you, Sawyer,” he voiced with a grin.

With a hint of laughter, she cried in relief.

Swatting his leg, “You just had to steal my thunder and say it first, didn’t you?” she laughed through her tears.

“Well, technically, I already had,” Ethan smugly shrugged his shoulders.

Sawyer shook her head and brought his hand to her lips.

“I love you, Ethan." One kiss.

"I love you too." Two kisses.

"I love you so much.” Three kisses.

#open heart #open heart choices #open heart fanfic #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #ethan x sawyer #choices stories you play #choices open heart #playchoices #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week

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anthurak · 1 year

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"Likely cared about her the most out of her teammates. Given how she’s clearly taken Summer’s loss far harder than Qrow or Tai." Its literally been a major plot point since V2 then Summer's disappearance caused Tai to completely shut down for actual years. Straight from Yang. How can you possibly ignore that to make a claim that Raven cared more? I know your a Rosebird truther to the extreme, but come on your ignoring the words of characters who actually were there

So this is a great example of what I’ve been saying about how much of the fandom’s idea of the background of Team STRQ is based on some major assumptions. And many of them drawn from sources that are not entirely reliable.

To the point, IS Tai ‘shutting down’ after Summer’s disappearance really a major recurring plot point? It’s only been brought up twice in any kind of significant way, and more notably is something we’ve only ever heard about and never actually SEEN. Now that’s not to say that Yang has been lying or somehow wrong about Taiyang’s grief, rather that the only place we have actually seen that grief is through the effect it had on Yang and Ruby. Whereas we have thus far seen basically nothing of that grief from Tai himself. Seeing as how we have never seen him so much as speak of Summer, outside that one episode of Fairy Tales of Remnant that only had an inference of his grief. Simply put, the narrative of RWBY has treated Taiyang’s apparent grief-stricken breakdown as a key aspect of Yang’s backstory and character development, rather than part of Tai’s own character.

And more to your point: How can I claim that Raven cared more about Summer and took her disappearance harder that Tai?

Simple. Just note the past tense in ‘Tai completely shut down for years.’

Regardless of how hard Tai apparently took Summer’s disappearance in the past, when we look at him in the present, it’s clear that he has been able to heal and move past that grief and overall looks to be in a pretty good place now.

Contrast that with Raven who is clearly still wracked with grief and trauma over whatever happened during that mission and whatever happened to Summer.

Reading between the lines, the show has made it pretty clear which among Team STRQ took Summer’s disappearance the hardest: On the one hand we have Qrow and Tai, who after all these years, seem to have coped with their grief fairly well, all things considered. And on the other hand we have Raven, who is clearly still a complete fucking wreck.

What I think much of the fandom is missing is that there is a slowly growing disconnect between what we heard about Team STRQ’s backstory and what we are actually SEEING play out.

Back in Volume 2, we took everything Yang told Blake at face value and assumed that she actually knew everything she was talking about and was right about everything.

When in reality it’s becoming more and more clear that there is a LOT about her parents’ team that Yang, and by extension Ruby, have had NO IDEA about.

With how consistently RWBY has utilized the ‘unreliable narrator’ trope, especially when it comes to our heroines’ parents and mentors, when it comes to formulating theories, more and more I’ve taken to putting MUCH more stock in what we SEE of our characters over what we might simply ‘hear’ about them. Especially when it comes to characters as shrouded in mystery as Team STRQ, and particularly after what we saw in the Volume 9 finale which flat out TOLD Ruby ‘there’s a BUNCH about your family that you have been completely wrong about’.

It’s not that I think Summer didn’t care about Tai and Qrow, or that she and Tai weren’t very close. Ruby’s vision from the Tree proved that pretty conclusively. Nor do I think Tai isn’t or hasn’t been a loving, caring father to both Yang and Ruby. Again, the story has shown that quite definitively.

Rather, I think there is a LOT more going on with Ruby’s and Yang’s parents than we realize. And that a LOT of what we have assumed base on what characters told us in the show’s early volumes is going to turn out to be either VERY incomplete or even outright wrong.

Like when the story has told and shown us basically nothing of Summer’s relationship with Tai, while at the same time leaving more and more narrative breadcrumbs about Summer’s relationship with Raven, or in the case of the V9 finale, clubbing us upside the head with a wholeass baguette, it gives more and more of an impression that THIS is the relationship of most narrative significance and consequence among the team. And that some things both we and Yang and Ruby assumed were not actually the case. Say for example, Tai not actually being Ruby's biological father...

#rwby #rwby ask #anon ask #rwby analysis #rwby character analysis #rwby fandom #rwby theory #Raven Branwen #Summer Rose #Taiyang Xiao Long #Yang Xiao Long #Ruby Rose #Team STRQ #rosebird #rosebird parents #rosebird parents theory #i do appreciate an ask that gives me a good prompt like this

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mediocreanomaly · 10 months

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Legato falling for you HCs

Authors Note: I’m so sorry I’m a Legato apologist so of course my first post has to be about him lmao I am for sure not proof reading this so apologies for any mistakes

• First off, he’s got alot going on. So it’s most definitely going to be a bit of a slow burn for him to really like you, much less love you. Don’t be deterred though! Patients is key... •When he first meets you he’s pretty indifferent to you. I’d imagine you’d have to meet him through the Gung-Ho-Guns so he mostly just wants you to stay out of his way. •Main way to get him to warm up to you? Food. They say food is the quickest way to a mans heart and that's especially true for Legato. Don’t make a big deal of it but if you just happen to have extra snacks laying around for him? Who is he to say no? •Eventually, he might even start to unconsciously seek you out knowing where you are there's a snack to follow. •Slowly, the two of you even begin talking, small words exchanged between meetings, you sit and nod while he quickly complains about what ever is currently not going right with the other Gung-Ho-Guns •Now eventually these quick talks turn into full conversations. Legato isn’t exactly nice but he’s also not completely rude either as you talk. He silently listens and might add a snarky comment along the way but he secretly has begun enjoying listening to you, not to mention he can’t stop watching your mannerisms and notices you need a hair cut soon and- uh oh. •If you’ve managed to stick it out this far congrats! You’ve actually begun to get somewhere with the man. Now once Legato begins realizing he has feelings for you it’s a lot to unpack. He’s been through a lot and trusting someone is hard for him so give him some time and space as he mulls over how to handle the situation • Once the two of you start dating not much changes admittedly. For one he does not want you to initiate any touch. He has a ton of trauma regarding it and one wrong move will have him pushing you back with his powers before you can say “Bluesummers”. • The second thing you have to understand is Knives Millions comes first. Every. Time. It might take some getting used to but the man is devoted. If you can stick with him through those two things it’ll actually bring you a lot closer to him. Not many people would be understanding of that. •Legato does try to show he cares in his own ways though. Bringing you things back from towns he visits (destroys), giving you books he likes, ect. It’s small but it’s the best he can do to thank you for still being by his side. **Very slight spoilers for manga** •Now. I do actually believe you could get this man away from Knives but it is a very long, very tedious process. Don’t ever shit talk Knives around him, don’t beg for him to leave knives for you, and don’t tell him knives is bad for him. He’ll leave just like that, instead go for a softer approach •Legato doesn’t know how to live without someone commanding him. He’s never known kindness or love until he met you, so it’s up to you to slowly show him he can live without a collar around his neck. •It’ll be hard I won’t lie, but do domestic things with him in the rare time he has away from Knives. Show him how to cook, take walks with him, fold laundry with him, show him that life doesn’t always have to be a fight. Sometimes you can just...be. • If he opens up about his past? You’ve got him. He doesn’t share that information with anyone, and you are suddenly very aware of why he acts the way he does. Don’t pity him, but show compassion. Listen to everything he has to say and assure him he’s come along way since then. • At this point despite how devoted he is to Knives...I think you’d be able to finally drag him away. I think the main reason he’s so loyal to Knives is that he doesn’t know how else to live. Knives is honestly just another form of his abusers, another iron fist, another collar, another cage. But you? You’re like a small ray of hope, the first good thing to ever bless his existence. He won’t say it out loud, but he isn’t sure he deserves you, but he’s thankful he has you anyways. •For the sake of fluff we are going to assume you managed to get him out of the Gung-Ho-Guns, maybe you got him to reluctantly join Vash’s cause (unlikely) or maybe the two of you are now in hiding in a small town (more likely) either way it’ll be a bit easier to get Legato out of his shell, although don’t expect a huge transformation he’s still working himself out (but he’s trying!!!) •Eventually he get’s used to a life without someone looming over him, it’s weird for him at first, but not completely bad. He also starts to get more use to touch, your hand in his, his hand pressed against the small of your back, your fingers tracing his face. There will always be a limit to how much he can take before he needs a break, his trauma isn’t going to disappear over night but he’s trying everyday to be someone worthy of you love. Besides, when he gets to wake up suns still just peeking over the horizon your sleeping face catching a bit of the golden rays that sneak in through the blinds...he can’t help but think that all his suffering was worth it, as long as he get’s to keep waking up next to you.

#legato x reader #legato bluesummers #trigun x reader #sfw #legato x you #trigun x you

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alexfierroaf · 10 months

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You know, the more I think about the finale (which is basically all I’ve been doing since it came out), the more I realize something.

The further and further I got in Miraculous up until this point, the deeper the sense of dread and nihilism I got. Because every time Marinette and/or Adrien made any significant step forward, they were “rewarded” with either a bad end or an undo button. Chat Blanc and Ephemeral are obvious examples, but there have been plenty of others too -- all the times Marinette ~almost~ got to confess to Adrien, their identity reveal in Oblivio, the few moments of happiness Adrien had with his father, etc. Even Kwami’s Choice (one of the very few moments of actual happy plot progression that we get) bends to this rule, because they were so relieved to be free of the Miraculous, but in the end, that freedom was doomed not to last.

It made me more and more anxious the more I watched. I got the feeling that no matter what happened, these kids might never get their happy ending. Even when the series ends (I’m assuming on a positive note, but after this finale nothing can be taken for granted) Marinette will eventually have to pass on her Guardianship, which means she’ll forget everything -- including not only Adrien, also Alya and all the rest of her loved ones that she met after learning about the Miraculous. Her memories (to my understanding) will revert back to what they were at the point just before becoming involved with the Miraculous. Which means her journey of personal growth and working through her trauma will also be reset. Either that or her entire memory is wiped. Neither option is happy. And then of course there’s Adrien, who will have to grieve their past relationship, supposing he’s still alive when she gives up the Miracle Box.

Realizing this made me think: How will they get out of this? How will they ever be okay? Are they just doomed to fail and suffer tragedy on repeat for the rest of their lives?

Yin and Yang. Creation and Destruction. Joy and Grief. They are all natural cycles -- forces that cannot be avoided. And none can exist without the other.

In season five, we got one of the greatest joys (and steps forward) that we’ve received in the entire show -- Adrienette finally becoming canon. And staying canon, despite steep odds. We also got the single greatest loss in the series to date, and that’s Gabriel succeeding in making his wish. Going out on his own terms, with the knowledge that he got what he wanted. God, it makes me sick.

At first I was shocked. Upset. Disappointed, a little bit. Because of course we all expected something different. Something involving them beating the odds, no matter what.

But this ending....it’s the natural conclusion to the Bad Vibes (TM) I’d been getting from this series for a while now. That sense of hopelessness, of inevitability....All those times I thought to myself, “How are they ever going to break this cycle? What will they be able to do differently that will allow them to win?” The answer was already in front of me. And that answer was: They can’t. Sometimes tragedy is unavoidable. Sometimes, despite all your best efforts (and an absolutely badass performance by Bug Noire) you still lose.

And hasn’t that been the whole point of the series thus far, when you think about it? Making mistakes and knowing how to fix them. The entire setup of akumatized victims is a picture of this. We all have negative emotions, and we all make mistakes. But in the end, they can be fixed, and life moves on. Maribug makes all kinds of mistakes too. Little everyday ones that get episodic focus as well as life changing events like in Risk. She obsesses over her mistakes -- tries so hard to be perfect -- but no matter what she will continue to mess up, and do her best to make it better.

She’s made a massive mistake this time by choosing to extend an olive branch to Gabriel. The world is forever altered, and it’s unclear if anything can be done to fix it. But just like always, she will do everything in her power to make things right. It’s the natural evolution of a story with this theme, to, after rectifying so many errors, finally come to one which can never be undone. It’s even more dire than loosing the Miraculous last season, since at least those could be reclaimed. But life goes on, regardless of what happens in the past. All Marinette can do is learn from her experiences and do better next time.

Mistakes are inevitable. Pain and grief are inevitable. But so is growth. So is joy. So is life.

I predict that the end of Miraculous Ladybug will come when Marinette is finally comfortable with her ability to mess up and recover from it. When she accepts that sometimes bridges need to be burned, and that failure is a part of life. When she’s comfortable enough with herself to admit that, she’ll be ready to take on the new Butterfly holder and, with Adrien by her side this time, finally make a decisive victory.

Who knows what will happen after the final credits run. How the cycles of Creation and Destruction rear their heads in their lives. But by the time that moment comes, they’ll be prepared to square up and face it head on.

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mayrose713 · 2 years

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We'll Always Have Each Other (pt 1)

Steve Harrington x fem!reader,

slight Best Friend Eddie Munson x fem!reader

Summary: Eddie knows about Y/n’s past of living in an abusive home and her self harm. But he can’t help her by himself anymore.

Warnings (Pls DONT read if any of these are triggering for you or makes you uncomfortable): Swearing, abuse, depression, self harm, panic attacks, trauma, ptsd, drugs, smoking, a bit aggressive Eddie (he just wants to help)

Word Count: 2387

Pt2

A/N: First time posting anything on here and writing anything Stranger Things related. Pls don’t hate. Most things that I write are based closely on my own experiences and traumas, this way I can write a better and happier ending though. If you go through anything similar please know you are not alone and you are always welcome to message me if you need to talk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loud banging on the trailer door annoyed the shit out of Eddie. Who would be knocking at eleven o'clock at night?

“What the hell do yo…” He cut himself off after seeing the girl in front of him. “Y/n?”

“Can I come in?” She asked, not looking directly at him while fidgeting with the charm bracelet around her wrist and watching her surroundings as if she's worried someone might be watching her.

Eddie nodded his head before moving to let her in then shutting the door behind them both as he watched the girl carefully who still wouldn’t look at him.

“Are you okay? You don’t normally show up here so late.”

“Is Wayne here?” She asked first while looking around.

“No, he’s at work.” He moved closer to her, grabbing her hand lightly to make her look at him but to no avail. “Y/n/n what’s going on?”

Just then she finally turned to look at him, tears brimming her eyes threatening to fall, her cheeks already tear stained, probably from whatever happened that caused her to walk to the trailer park so late at night by herself. But what really shocked him was the cut on her left cheek that was starting to form a nasty bruise.

“Who did this to you princess?” Eddie got angry but gently cupped her other cheek and placed his other hand under her jaw so he could properly inspect the injury on his best friend's face. “Did Harrington do this? Did he hit you? I swear if he hurt you I’ll...”

“Steve didn’t do this Ed’s, you know he would never lay a hand on me like that.” Y/n pushed him away before playing with her bracelet again, specifically the baseball bat charm, Steve’s charm.

After everything with the upside down everyone got little charms to represent themselves to give to everyone in the group to remind them they will always have each other when they look at the charms. Charms like a baseball bat, guitar, camera, skateboard, the number eleven and so on. All the girls wear theirs as a charm bracelet or necklace while the guys keep the charms on their keychains or walk talkies for those who still can’t drive.

“Your step dad.” Eddie realized his mistake.

Y/n nodded before letting out a loud sigh and looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“Can we…” She trailed off but he knew what she was asking, she was wanting him to let her get high.

“I don’t think that’s a very smart idea, princess.” He once again used the nickname he gave her after she joined one of his dnd campaigns where she was practically royalty having been the only female to partake in the Hellfire club.

“Please Ed’s.” She grabbed onto his arm. “It’s better than what I could do instead.”

Eddie looked down at her arms where he was able to see some of the angry red lines and not so faded scars that peek out from under her sleeves that came up a bit when she grabbed his arm. He knew that he was the only one who knows about what she’s done to herself. He’s tried to help her but he can’t just force her to stop and she’s started taking up smoking weed as an alternative.

“I think we should maybe call Steve princess.”

“No.” Her eyes went wide squeezing his arm tighter.

“We don’t have to tell him about everything, just let him know you’re not okay right now.” He soothes her. “I’m just worried for you.”

“Please Eddie, don’t call Steve. He had to work late, I don’t wish to bother him.”

“Okay.” He sighed, unable to resist her puppy eyes and motioned to the couch. “Sit down and I’ll get the stuff.”

“Thank you.” She mumbled and moved to the sofa while he went to his room.

After shutting the door to his bedroom he let out a loud sigh while rubbing a hand on his head. He didn’t want to supply her with anything while she was like this but he knew if he didn’t the harm she would do to herself would be a hundred times worse.

Eddie still remembers the day he found out about her self harm like it was yesterday. It broke him to find out his best friend did that to herself. He had given her a Hellfire shirt after the others really enjoyed her company and accepted her into the club. She had changed in the bathroom but refused to come out at first, it wasn’t until he barged in that Eddie understood why she didn’t want to come out. The sleeves weren’t long enough. He saw the many lines of red that littered the beautiful skin of her wrists. He thought the sleeves would be fine considering he thought the only reason she always wore long sleeves was because of her anemia, causing her to always be cold. He never thought it could be anything like this.

After he begged her why she did this to herself did she finally give in and explained everything that happened at home. Her alcoholic mother who would threaten to kick her out every other day. Sometimes actually kicking her out for a few days where she would stay at his place, or Steve's and sometimes Nancy’s. Though the latter two were only ever told that she forgot her keys and her parents were out of town so she couldn’t get in. And her step dad who would beat the ever living shit out of her, telling her how worthless she is. Eddie couldn’t count how many times she came over with bruises riddling her arms and torso. And he’ll never forget the time she came to him with a broken rib. But this was the first time her step dad ever left a mark on her face, always careful to mark her where she could easily cover the bruises up with clothes. It’s why he thought someone else hit her.

It wasn’t until he got sucked into everything with the upside down that Y/n finally told him the whole truth. The nightmares she’s cursed with almost every night, the panic attacks she has when she hears certain sounds that reminds her of that horrible place. The worst of it was the couple days after fighting Vecna when she faulted herself for Eddie and Steve getting hurt by the demo bats. And Max being hospitalized with so many broken bones and comatosed.

What’s worse is she begged him not to tell her boyfriend, Steve Harrington, about all of this. Said something about he has his own shit to deal with. Steve knows about the nightmares and panic attacks at least, he has them himself sometimes and knows how to help her with them. But she says she doesn’t want him to see her as weak, or weaker than she already is. But no matter how much Eddie reassures her that he won't see her that way she still refuses.

But Eddie knows what he has to do now as he grabs the phone off the wall in his bedroom, quickly dialing the one number he thought for the longest time he would never know, let alone have memorized as he starts rummaging around for his personal stash.

“Hello.” A groggy voice was heard from the other line.

“You need to come over, now.” Eddie hissed into the phone just low enough for only the other to hear and not alert the girl in the next room.

“Munson?” Steve yawned. “Why are you calling me so late?”

“I’ve got our Y/n/n here and she’s not okay.”

“Got it.” Steve said and Eddie could hear rummaging through the phone. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

With that they both hung up and Eddie continued taking his sweet time “looking” for his stash wanting to buy some time for Steve to get there.

“Eddie?” Y/n’s voice traveled through the trailer. “What’s taking so long?”

“Sorry princess, I seem to have misplaced my stash.” He lies to her.

After a few minutes lights went by the window causing Eddie to sigh knowing it was Steve’s red BMW pulling up. Eddie quickly grabbed a few joints as to not alert the girl of any suspensions before opening the door and going back to where Y/n is sitting.

“I was starting to think you actually ran out.” Y/n sighed when she saw him reappear.

“Had to make new hiding spots for it after everything with the police.” He says placing the joints on the counter. “Even though my name was cleared by the government I still got some of the cops on my ass for no reason.”

“That sucks.” Just then frantic knocking came from the door causing the girl to go stiff in her seat. “Who’s here?”

“I don’t know.” Eddie shrugged playing it off. “Don’t worry, I’ll make them leave.”

She nodded her head as she watched her best friend open the door slightly but she couldn’t see who was on the other side.

“How is she?” The voice made her freeze in shock.

Eddie just shook his head before opening the door more to let him in. Steve looked around for a second before his eyes landing on the one person he was looking for. His eyes softening when he saw she was okay but then went to concerned after scanning her over and seeing the cut and bruise on her cheek.

“What the fuck Eddie?” The girl yelled, quickly crossing her arms over her chest as she curled up in her seat not happy with the situation. “You promised not to tell him.”

Steve looked at the other male confused for a second before moving to sit next to his girlfriend.

“Princess, I didn’t tell him anything.” Eddie explained with his hands up.

“He was worried, baby.” Steve reassured her. “Said you aren’t okay.”

She just continued glaring at the long curly haired man in front of her.

“You need to tell him.” Eddie gave her a stern look.

“Tell me, please.” Steve cupped her injured cheek gently making her look at him, seeing the sadness in his eye as he rubbed his thumb over the forming bruise. “Who did this to you?”

“No one.” She whispered, pulling away from his touch.

“Bullshit Y/n.” Eddie yelled, now clearly frustrated. “If you don’t tell him, I will!”

“Eddie.” Her eyes went wide in fear.

After a few moments of silence, Y/n and Eddie glaring at each other with Steve looking between the two friends confused, Eddie finally sighed turning to Steve.

“It was her step dad.”

“Eddie.” She hissed but also not able to believe her best friend broke his promise right in front of her.

“This isn’t the first time either.” He continued as Steve’s eyes went wide at what he was hearing. “It’s just the first time he left his mark in a visible spot. She’s come here a number of times bruised, even a broken rib one time.”

“Shut up.” The girl now stood up angry.

“And all those times she said her parents were out of town and she locked herself out of her house was a lie.” Eddie looked at Y/n for a second before continuing. “Her alcoholic mother kicked her out. Threatens to kick her out permanently like every other day.”

“Eddie stop.”

“There’s more.” He glared at her.

“Eddie, don't.” Her jaw was set.

“You tell him or I do.”

Then Y/n turned around to face Steve whose face showed a mix of emotions; fear, anger, sadness and so much more. “I want to go home.”

“What?” Both of them yell, looking at her like she was crazy.

“I want to go home.” She repeats and tries walking to the door but they both grab her wrists, causing her to hiss and pain but neither of them let go.

“There’s no way in hell I’m taking you back to that bastard.” Steve scoffed.

“I don’t want to be here.” She glared at Eddie before giving Steve pleading eyes.

Steve sighed, letting go of her wrist looking up at Eddie for a second who clearly had so much more to tell him. But Steve looked back at his girl and nodded his head.

“You’ll stay with me tonight.” He tucked some hair behind her ear then handed her his keys. “Why don’t you get in the car baby girl, I’ll be right out.”

“I’m sorry Y/n.” Eddie said as she started to leave. “I only did this because I care about you.”

“Bye Eddie.” She mumbled before going out the door and to the car.

“At least she said bye.” Steve pointed out. “If she absolutely hated you right now she would have stormed out without a word.”

“True.” Eddie slightly nodded his head but still seemed sad. “I’m sorry this is the way you had to find out.”

“I’m glad you told me man.” Steve patted his shoulder. “How long have you known?”

“Not even a year. I practically made her tell me after I saw her…”

“Saw what?” Steve was even more concerned now.

“She needs to tell you that.” Eddie sighed. “But all I know about what happened tonight is what's on her cheek. I have no idea if there’s more anywhere else or exactly what caused it to happen.”

“Thank you for calling me. You’re a great friend to have kept your promise for so long but this isn’t something you need to help her with alone.” Steve placed a hand on his shoulder seeing that Eddie was beating himself up about all of this in his head. “You did the right thing.”

“Thanks man.” Eddie took a deep breath in. “Take care of our girl and update me in the morning on how she’s doing and the plan for everything.”

“I will.” Steve nodded. “She’ll be okay. We’ll make sure of it.”

The two shared a quick hug for a brief moment before Eddie walked Steve to the door and watched as he got in the car and waited until he couldn’t see them anymore before going back inside.

He hopes he did the right thing and didn’t just ruin his friendship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pt 2

194 notes · View notes

writing-reaper · 1 year

Text

Bound Through The Force

The Bad Batch x f!OC Mara

Description: Finally put in a corner, Mara has no choice but to tell them everything. Ready for them to despise her, their response turns out surprising.

Note: Mara explains her past, so it’s a shit ton of dialogue. Feel free to just skim through, I’ll have something else at the end.

Warnings: trauma dumping, mentioned death, mentions of abuse, cult, breeding, mistrust and then forgiveness and fluff

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four |

Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven (here)

“What do you think it means to live?” Mara asks, looking toward the Jedi sitting cross legged across from her. She hums, keeping her eyes closed.

“I think it means to enjoy the things around you, to find the light in things.” Shaak Ti answers. “Why do you ask?”

“I heard once that if you’ve taken a life, that you could never live one.” Mara answers. “I’m simply curious, if I’ll ever be able to live. Do I even deserve to?”

“I do not believe you’ll accept any answer I may have for you. Though I ask you consider this.” The Jedi begins, finally opening her eyes to look at Mara. “That girl that follows you around—”

“Omega.”

“Yes, Omega. You care for her, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then care for her. Enjoy the every moment she’s in your life. When it rains, look out the window and smile. When it doesn’t, still smile. For living means appreciating every moment of time and every person you meet.”

Mara sighs and looks out the window. For the first time since she’s been there, she smiles. And when it finally falls from her face, she opens the door to her room and smiles once more.

“Omega.”

Mara raises her brow at the man holding the ice pack to her head. Her hand grazes over his as she grasps the ice pack, slightly adjusting to move away from his reach.

“Everything…” she hums, laying on her side to face him better. “Everything is… a lot.”

“I know.” He answers. “But nothing about you is making any sense. We need answers.”

“Fine.” She sighs, a tear leaving her eye as she visually slouches. Her heart felt like it was being crushed by the weight of it. “There’s no use in hiding things any longer. The truth will inevitably reveal itself. Perhaps it is best to hear it from me.”

“That’s all we want.” He states, trying to remain unfazed by the tears in her eyes.

“My mother was born of a cult. I only recently learned of her existence, as I had always been told she abandoned me. However, like many children of the Hye Society, I had been abducted to become one of their weapons, a mindless toy, made to destroy their enemies.” Mara begins, eyes glued to her feet as painful memories ache in her head. “Priya had been an older child of this abduction. If it wasn’t for her, I think I truly would be the mindless doll they expected me to be.”

“The friend you named your Tooka after?” Mara nods.

“Priya told me about her parents and how she was raised before they died. Maybe it was the idea of some day having a normal life is what kept me the slightest bit sane. She showed me compassion and warmth before I could completely despise it.” Mara wipes her eye at the falling of a tear. “When the final trial began, we learned that our relationship wasn’t as secret as we hoped because we were put against each other. We had made a prior agreement that if it would happen, we’d come to a draw then strike the same, leave the first drop of blood to chance. I didn’t realize just how prepared Priya was to die.”

“Did you kill Priya?” Her heart throbbed when he said her name, so much so she wanted to scream.

“I might as well have. She was dead either way. The elder killed her when I hesitated. For that, I was punished. Everyday I’d train, and every night for a month after I’d be whipped till I bled. If you need proof you can still see the scars.” Mara shifts up right, turning from him and raising her shirt.

“Kriff!” A startled shout left him at the sight. She releases her top and lays back down, finding it harder to meet his gaze. Perhaps because of that pitying look on his face.

“I’d train, then they’d tell me who. Who was in their way, who I had to kill. And I’d do it. I didn’t think there was a way out. Every opportunity I had, it felt like I was being tugged back to them on a chain. I thought if I did what I was told that the pain would go away, that the guilt would whither with their praise, but no matter what I did, I was doing something wrong. Then they told me to burn down a town. I don’t remember where, I just remember the warmth.”

Hunter remained silent as he watched her with uncertain eyes, her head tilting to the side as she stares toward the window.

“It didn’t come from the flames, but this little boy. He ran to me, hugged my leg and he begged. He begged me not to hurt his family. And then I realized that my suffering would never end, so why should others suffer? The town will burn, but I could save the people who lived there.

“I didn’t save many with half the town already turned to rubble, but I managed to save some from the destruction I had already caused. When I returned, I earned my name: Mara the Wyvern. A dragon for the fire, but a wyvern to convince their mindless followers I served them by choice because all I had were my wings and my two feet. Wings to fly away if I needed, if I ever had wings they were clipped before I knew what they were used for.”

“Did you manage to save anyone else?” Hunter questions, thinking of the relief in her voice when she said she realized that she didn’t have to kill anyone.

“At any opportunity.” She states firmly, red tracks running down her face as he realized just how much she’d been crying despite her steady voice. “There was a short period of time where I didn’t kill anyone. Three months. And then the breeding program began and the only person I wanted to kill was myself.”

“A breeding program? You don’t mean…?”

“I don’t remember much from that time period. Only one of my partners sticks out in my memory because he was beaten half to death when he asked me if I was ok. The only other thing I remember was being ill. Between what was expected of me and constant panic attacks, I had to be chained to a medical bed, once I was put on life support because I tried to scratch myself open.

“When they finally gave up on me, they looked for other options. Luckily, they found them and I was no longer required to participate, no matter how many of my traits they wanted their future slaves to carry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ve been suffering long before you were even created.” Mara shifts to face him, happy he didn’t flinch when she placed her hand on his cheek, as Omega had done to comfort her before. “I am grateful to have met you when I am actively trying to be my best self. I may be broken, inside and out, but at least I get to choose what to do from here on. And I’d be forever more grateful if you let me continue to figure things out with you all than without.”

“I know you’re a good person, Mara.” He states firmly, sending a shiver through Mara’s heart. “Do you feel comfortable continuing?”

“I must admit, there’s not much else. I saved more and more people, mostly children, but eventually I was caught. When I was caught, I was ready to accept my fate. I finally got to take pleasure in my acts of rebellion, spit in the face of the ones who wronged me and then simply waited for that blade to chop off my head in a single fatal swoop.” Mara begins once more. “And then… I didn’t want to die anymore. My tormentor revealed a truth I didn’t realize would gift me so much courage. They told the crowd I would be given my mother’s name of exile. Mara Deoradhán. I was told my mother had abandoned me, not that she had been exiled. Suddenly, I had a reason to live. I didn’t know how I stopped the blade till I met Shaak Ti. But as soon as I had escaped the execution stand, I found a supply ship and wound up here on Ord Mantell in this very Parlor.”

“What happened when you came to Cid’s?”

“I told her who I was, and that I’d do anything she needed me to so I could break the shell that had been created.” Mara answers. “She complained that I was too skinny and that I wasn’t very social. When I opened up to her, I told her about my self loathing and gave me some half assed excuse of why I should love myself and I’ve been clinging onto it ever since. And then, just as my body was going out of survival mode, Shaak Ti arrived.

“She recognized me and still talked to me like I was a person, not a dangerous killer. It was scary, like she looked straight through me. I still don’t understand why she scared me so much. Even so, I followed her blindly when she told me she could give me answers about myself, answers to questions I never bothered to ask. She took me to Kamino and helped me get to a healthy weight and taught me how to relax. She called it finding peace, but I despise myself too much to achieve that. And then I met Omega.”

“I’d say I know where things go from here, but you haven’t exactly explained that either.” Hunter comments, earning a small smile from Mara.

“I appreciate you turning the comm on, because I would not have been able to do this with all of you in here.” Mara answers, watching his face shift to one of surprise. “Omega wasn’t allowed to be around me. A rule I tried to follow because I didn’t want to be sent back to Ord Mantel as I got super sick in the healing process. However, she was incredibly persistent.”

“She is extraordinarily persistent.” He agrees with a chuckle.

“Hey—!” A quick shush follows and Mara smiles at the comm device.

“Eventually, I let her start following me around and talking to me. While, Shaak Ti was certainly helpful, her company was rarely… enjoyable.” Mara hesitates at the last weird, grimacing at how awkward it felt.

“I understand.” He reassures.

“I have a difficult time socializing, but she spoke enough for the both of us. Of course, I eventually found it in myself to respond and we bonded quickly afterwards. But after that… I left. I didn’t know where exactly I would end up, but I eventually wound up with Elliot. I had went to an underground market I’d traveled to many times to find a ride to the outer rim. He was crude, but he was easy. Act oblivious, don’t show you’re offended, and he gave chase. He was only supposed to take me to where he was delivering his next shipment. Unfortunately, his experience didn’t match his intelligence and I had to get us out of a dangerous situation.

“Apparently the misunderstood bad girl gone good only made him more interested in me. He’d insist upon random stops, faked problems with his ship and his efforts became more and more desperate the closer we got to my location. Then he faked a crash and we were ‘stuck’ on a moon for a few days. I let my guard down under the impression no one was ever going to come. So I told him about the only good thing in my life, the only person I had who was waiting for me. I don’t know why, but I told him more about myself until he assumed I was at my lowest and made his move. My assumption is after he got what he wanted the ship was going to miraculously start working again and he’d finally decide to move on with his life. Instead, I rejected him and the next morning he came up with the idea a necessary part of the ship had broken off in the crash. When I went out to get it, he flew away. Got lucky that a supply ship made a pit stop and eventually made my way back here.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here and not stuck on that moon.”

“Thanks for hearing me out.” She replies, brushing her hair back and to the side. “I don’t want our relationship to change after what you’ve learned about me and I really don’t want your pitiful stares. I don’t expect you to be any different toward me, nicer or otherwise. I just want to be in Omega’s life, as long as I can, because I have nobody else to live for.”

“Don’t say that!” Omega’s voice comes through the comm once more and Mara winces.

“I forgot she was also listening.” Mara whispers, not wanting the comm to pick it up.

“She is right.” Mara shakes her head and brushes out her hair with her fingers. “You have your life to take back.”

“Every experience that is supposed to be enjoyable has been taken away from me. There’s nothing left for me to take.”

“You’ll find something, we’ll help you.”

“Thanks.”

“Hunter? Can you give Mara a hug for me?” Omega asks through the comm. Mara felt her heart skip a beat and her face turn red at the child’s suggestion.

“Omega, you can come up here—” she was cut off at Hunter’s sudden embrace.

Suddenly, she felt weak. Weaker than before as she leaned into his welcoming embrace, returning his hold. The hot tears filled her eyes once more and she turns off the comm right before a sob leaves her lips.

Mara let go to move away, but his embrace just seemed to tighten, keeping her in place as another sob left her lips and her head rests on his shoulder. When he did let go, she apologized for almost breaking down on him. If he wasn’t already so flustered he probably would’ve pulled her back in.

“You should get some rest.” Hunter says, his own cheeks flushed as he rubs the back of his head.

“C-can… can you stay with me…? Just a little longer?”

“Sure.”

Hunter left when Mara finally fell asleep. He found his brothers how he’d left them, still sitting at the large booth with Omega. Tech was examining the bottles from the bag Mara had requested, and Omega was listening to him as he rambled on about the different liquids, their origins and their uses.

“How’s she doing?” Echo asks, sounding concerned.

“She’s asleep.” Hunter answers, not quite sure of her actual emotional state as she fell quiet and held the purple Tooka. When he had met her gaze, she’d smile and her face would flush, and he could only assume the poison would result in a fever. “Omega, you knew that Mara was an assassin?”

“Nala Se told me before I met her because she didn’t want me around her.” Omega answers. “She said that she was dangerous, but after watching her for a while in the training room with the cadets I couldn’t see her as dangerous.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well… she never really worked with the cadets, she’d always just watch Shaak Ti train them. Then there was this one cadet, who wasn’t doing well. He fell and just didn’t get up. Some of the others seemed to laugh at him, but she laid down beside him.” Omega explains, thinking back to the day she saw Mara’s true colors with a small smile. “I don’t know what she said to him, according to Nala Se it was the first time she’d spoken since she’d arrived, but he was encouraged again and she helped him throughout the rest of the training.”

“Do you know why?” Echo asks, sounding rather swayed by the story.

“I never asked, she didn’t talk to me for a month.” She answers with a shrug. “And when she finally did, it was because I asked about one of her scars.”

“She’s still weird.” Crosshair scoffs, earning a laugh from Wrecker.

“I like her!” Wrecker declares before elbowing him. “You can’t deny she’s been fun to hang out with!”

“I’m sure you can forgive her behavior. From the sound of things she’s never been allowed to conduct herself in a proper manner.” Tech comments. “Furthermore, individuals who have been victims of abuse so early in their youth tend to have childlike tendencies and underdeveloped brains. And while Mara certainly acts an adult, she still portrays a childish behavior, especially around those she trusts, such as Omega and Cid.”

“Shouldn’t you add Crosshair to that list?” Omega inquires, earning a look from all five of them.

“What do you mean?” Tech questions, adjusting his goggles.

“She did that drinking game with him, Mara usually refuses alcohol from people. Even the medical volunteers on Kamino could never get her to join them.” Omega explains.

“Does that really make a difference? She just told Hunter something she clearly didn’t want to.” Crosshair scoffs.

“I guess it could’ve also been because of Tech. She seems to hang around the two of you more until Hunter talks to her.” Omega reevaluates aloud.

“I’ve noticed that as well.” Echo comments. “Whenever Tech’s fixing something, she’s always nearby watching and when you start making some sort of comment she’ll smile and participate in the conversation.”

“Didn’t think you’d be paying that much attention to her, Echo.” Crosshair quips with a smirk.

“Sh-she just doesn’t make any sense to me.” Echo stammered, his face flushing in embarrassment. Maybe he had been paying a little too much attention to her, especially when trying to trust her.

“Maybe Mara likes them more because they treat her like a normal person.” Omega suggests, quickly earning a look from Hunter and Echo. “Then again, that doesn’t explain why she doesn’t spend much time around Wrecker.”

“It’s probably because I grabbed her that one time.” Wrecker admits with a frown, scratching the back of his head. “She looked pretty freaked out.”

“I’m sure she’s already over that.” Cid scoffs, approaching the group. “How long were you going to wait to tell me Mara left?”

“The bars empty, besides those two. Didn’t think it’d be a big deal.” Hunter answers. “Mara got poisoned so she’s resting upstairs.”

“Uh huh, not a big deal, I’m running a business here. Someone’s always got to keep an eye out. Mara’s a grown adult, she can handle herself.” Cid scoffs, annoyed knowing they probably didn’t even realize when a new customer had come in.

“Sorry!” Omega apologizes for the group, seeing as it would’ve only taken them a second to grab Cid.

“Anyway, I got another mission for you boys, but we’ll discuss the details tomorrow. I want Mara to join you.”

“But she’s been poisoned—”

“That’s like saying Tiny here scraped her knee. Why do you care? Considering what Mara told me about that client, he wouldn’t want to kill her.”

“Why’s that?” Hunter questions.

“Because whoever hired him wanted to make sure she was alive. Mara may have “told him everything” but every assassin knows not to disclose their sanctuary.” Cid explains. “That means one of these customers gave out her location.”

Taglist

@mybigfatspoonielife @gjrain20-starwars @goddess-of-congeniality @redpool @chxpsi @stardust9905

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #tbb wrecker #tbb x oc #x oc #oc #tbb crosshair #tbb tech #tbb omega #tbb echo #star wars tbb

42 notes · View notes

talesof-old · 2 years

Text

i don’t wanna live like this | e.m.

pairing: eddie munson x afab!fem!reader

warning(s): 18+, some angst, more towards the beginning, possibly ooc Eddie (i’m still trying to figure out how to write his character), the reader laughs at inappropriate times, injuries, blood, mentions of death, ptsd, some mentions of touch aversion, a (probably inaccurate) panic attack, smut, mentions of suicide ideation towards the end and trying to heal from that, kinda edited kinda not

word count: 6.5k

request? yes or no

masterlist

watching your boyfriend almost die over spring break was not how you envisioned your year going

now, you struggle to connect

reblogs & feedback are greatly encouraged and appreciated!

+++

By now, you were used to the sounds of Eddie sneaking out of bed. In the aftermath of the failed plan against Vecna, after you’d all but dragged Eddie back through the now large gate and shoved the keys into Dustin’s hands, you’d managed to get him to the hospital just in time. Once one of the nurses began to eye your boyfriend with an all too familiar look of fear, you’d forced yourself to stay awake until you could get a hold of Dr. Owen’s FBI friends. It wasn’t until a week ago that you’d finally stopped jumping at every noise, when that feeling of panic was no longer a constant, though you still considered it a frequent visitor.

Once Eddie was cleared to leave the hospital, you’d taken him to your place. Your parents argued a little at first, but upon seeing whatever grief stricken and terror filled expression that had taken up residence on your face, they relented. The late night escapes started three nights after that.

It was also around that time that Eddie confessed that he’d like his own bed, instead of sleeping with you in yours. You’d agreed simply out of fear of accidentally hurting him in your sleep.

You blinked slowly into the dark. Eddie’s figure quietly opened your door and disappeared down the hall, leaving you alone in your room. A sigh escaped you before you were crawling out of bed, tugging on your clothes to make sure nothing was showing before following after him. From what you could tell, the reason he couldn’t sleep was the same as yours: nightmares.

They plagued you in a way that left you restless and uneasy, never able to close your eyes without seeing Eddie’s bloodstained and tearful smile. You gnaw on your inner cheek and sneak past your siblings’ rooms, all the way to the front door that was now unlocked.

Slipping on a pair of shoes, you stepped out onto the porch and shut it behind you, sitting on the edge of the step next to Eddie. He had his arms crossed over his body and a haunted look on his face that nearly brought you to tears. His cheeks were flushed even in the dim light, though you assumed it was due to the summer heat and his refusal to wear anything but long shirts and pants.

“You didn’t have to come out here.”

His voice was low, raspy as he spoke. You nodded, turning your gaze to the sky. Stars twinkled above you, their light flickering in the inky darkness. It reminded you of that night. When you’d finally emerged from Eddie’s wrecked trailer, and the smoke hadn’t yet clouded everything.

“I know.”

You kept your eyes on the sky. The last time you did this, you’d argued. Eddie said you were suffocating him, preventing him from moving on in your desire to talk about what happened. It was a hard pill to swallow, the trauma of what happened. You both had gone through something life-altering. It wasn’t surprising that you felt like different people, perhaps a little more fractured, a little more broken than before.

It might’ve been a harder pill for you to swallow that your boyfriend might not want to be that anymore. After almost losing him completely, you’d realized that you really didn’t want to have to learn how to live without him. You could, you’d done it before. But you truly and certainly didn’t want to.

Your hand twitched with the desire to reach out and hold his hand. It wasn’t worth it, you reasoned. Last time, he’d flinched upon contact and was tense for as long as you’d touched him. You frowned before wrapping your arms around yourself. It was understandable, you reasoned. Touch reminded him of what happened.

“I really don’t wanna talk about it,” his words were sharper than you were prepared for. You find yourself curling farther inward, nodding at his words. Speaking was hard some days, your voice cracking whenever something reminded you of spring break. It was difficult to form words at times, to explain yourself in a way that seemed true.

“I know.”

There was movement out of the corner of your eye as Eddie turned to look at you. You squirmed a little, still keeping your eyes forward. He sighed heavily and began fiddling with something on his wrist. Your gaze darted to his hands before you could stop yourself, and when they did, your heart lurched before a knot formed in your throat. It was the friendship bracelet you’d made for him ages ago, presenting it to him mostly as a joke, though he had absolutely refused to take it off once you’d put it on him. The black and white thread was faded and stained with age, and you gnawed on your inner cheek to keep from opening your mouth.

“You’ve been uh, distant lately, y’a know?” Tears pricked at your eyes but you blinked them away. It was true, you’d been distant ever since that argument a month ago. You’d thrown yourself into checking up on your other friends, particularly Robin and Nancy. It wasn’t hard to convince Dustin to check up on Eddie either. Since then, the two of you had rarely interacted outside of getting ready for bed. You were gone by the time he woke up, and normally didn’t make it home until late in the evening. The feelings of fatigue from constant social interaction had been creeping up on you, but you’d tried your best to ignore it in favor of giving Eddie the space to heal.

“I just wanted you to feel more comfortable, like I wasn’t smothering you or something.” You tried to keep your tone light, airy in an attempt to avoid any conflict. Eddie shook his head at the reply, a bitter scoff leaving his lips. You bit at your lip.

“You can’t even look at me, can you?” Your frown deepened and you finally let yourself look at Eddie. His under eye bags were more prominent in the soft porch light as he stared at you like you could solve all of his problems. There was a hint of desperation in his eyes, and it broke you to see him so unsure. Your eyes flickered to the fading scars on his face, the skin slightly raised and pink. Acid swirled in your stomach.

“I miss you,” he muttered your name afterwards like a prayer, and you nodded again.

This time, you gently reached out, skimming your fingertips along the side of his hand. He froze and you went to pull away, heart aching at the idea that your touch made him uncomfortable. A you should’ve known better danced across your mind. He started at the possibility of you retreating again, reaching out to snatch your hand and gripping it tightly in his. Your brain short-circuited at the first Eddie-initiated contact in weeks.

“Come on, let’s go lie down. We both need the sleep.”

You kept your voice at a whisper, soft and slow as if Eddie were some kind of wounded, wild animal. He stared at you, his face guarded before he nodded in reply, letting you pull him up and back into the house.

As the two of you made your way back to your bedroom, you noticed his hand beginning to tremble in yours. You paused, glancing back at him and loosening your own grip on his hand. The trembling doesn’t stop.

“What’s wrong, baby?”

You gently guided him into your room and clicked the door shut, not wanting your family to become privy to a very much private conversation. He settled on the edge of your bed, never letting you stray far from his side. It was common to see Eddie like this. Frazzled, scared, scarred. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t act the same whenever you caught a glance at his injuries. They’d been bandaged following the incident, but after the doctors said to stop wrapping them, his clothes never came off around you. Even before that, when he had to change them, he’d go to Dustin or Steve instead of you.

You perched on the edge of the bed next to him, shoulders and thighs barely grazing, bodies scarcely touching besides your intertwined hands. The room was dead silent as you let him gather himself. Eventually, his tremors receded and he leaned heavily against you, curling into your frame. You wrapped an arm around him, just holding him until he was ready to move.

It was strange, you used to think. How you could be so comfortable with someone that silence didn’t bother you. Now, you relished in that quiet. It was soothing in a way, far from the screeches of bats in your dreams.

When Eddie fully relaxed into you, you knew it was time to actually lay down. You couldn’t help the dread that began to pool in your stomach as you pulled away from him and stroked his cheeks. His eyes were wide as he gazed at you, that earlier panic of you leaving rising to the surface.

“Let’s lay down, m’kay?”

You shuffled backwards until you could pull your duvet and sheets out from under you, patting the space next to you to encourage Eddie to join you. That sickly feeling clawed its way up your throat when he glanced over at the bed you’d somehow managed to fit inside your room for him.

He nodded again, so unusually quiet, and climbed in beside you. Without thinking, you curled into him, leg thrown over his waist and body slotted into his side. Eddie tensed at the contact, hands stiff as he gripped at your waist. You froze in response, internally debating how to apologize for stepping over another boundary.

“I don’t,” his voice broke as he tried to speak. “I can’t.”

You turned your head to gaze up at him, at his clenched jaw and tightly shut eyes. You sighed and drew your limbs away from him, shifting to lay on your back beside him. Perhaps it was a new fear of intimacy that had taken root in him, an insecurity that you’d run as soon as you saw his scars. Eddie stayed tense beside you as the only contact you kept was the sides of your hands.

“I know, I understand, but all I want is to hold you. I don’t expect anything else, I promise.” It had been months since you’d last been sexually active, and since you shared your room with him it wasn’t like there was a lot of time to take matters into your own hands. Despite that, it hadn’t bothered you like you thought it might. Instead, anxiety and worry took over and seemed to invade all of your senses, inhibiting you from feeling any sense of arousal. It didn’t really matter, you’d thought. Eddie was alive, so if it took years for him to be comfortable with just kissing you, that was alright. That was fine.

“Is that okay?”

It was like those words broke a dam and suddenly he was burying his head in the crook of your neck and entangling all of your limbs. His shoulders shook with silent sobs, weeks worth of pent up emotion finally being released. You let him be, simply running your fingers through his hair and rubbing up and down his back. Nothing could really be said. There was no one you all could talk to except each other. Robin, Nancy, and you would talk each other down often, keeping tabs on each other’s mental states. The same couldn’t be said for the boys, as far as you were aware.

Soon, Eddie’s sobs turned to sniffles and you kissed the top of his head, nuzzling your cheek into his hair. His grip on your waist tightened and you relaxed further into the mattress, his weight a familiar comfort.

It took three weeks after that to finally be able to hold him without any adverse reaction.

You groaned as you flopped onto his bed, face buried in your arms as you thought about quitting your new job and moving to some secluded beach far away from people. Eddie chuckled from his place beside you, hand coming to rest on the small of your back as he poked your arm.

“What’s got you so worked up?” You rolled over, half laying on him as you closed your eyes and hummed. He simply wrapped an arm around you and held you as you figured out what words best described how you felt. A part of you felt as though this was because you had to pretend like everything was alright, like there wasn’t some monster threatening your life. Like you weren’t reliving the worst moment of your life whenever you slept.

“I honestly think I’m just tired of people.” He laughed, a full and hearty sound that sent your heart soaring. You grinned and turned again, reaching up to press a chaste kiss to his lips. He didn’t respond immediately, and you pulled away to lay back down when he gripped the back of your neck and kissed you with a fierceness you did not expect on a Monday afternoon.

You let out a soft sigh when he moved you to straddle him, groaning as soon as you rubbed against his half-hard erection. He bucked up into you and you swiped a tongue along his bottom lip, smiling when he responded by opening his mouth to you. His free hand trailed up and down your side, eventually coming to rest right at your tailbone. He guided your hips to give him some sort of friction, whimpering when the seam of his jeans and the fabric of his briefs rubbed just right against his slit. You moaned at the sound, hips stuttering before resuming their rhythm. The two of you spent the next several minutes reacquainting each other’s mouths, rocking against each other and breathing heavily. Your hands wandered down to his sides, touch feather light as you fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He stopped, wrapping his hands around your wrists and shaking his head. You smiled softly and lifted your hands to his cheeks, pressing another chaste kiss to the swollen skin.

“I love you, Eddie Munson, you know that right?” His cheeks flushed red but he nodded, licking his lips as he stared at you.

“Love you too, princess.” He tugged on the ends of your hair and you swatted his hand away, curling into his chest and pressing a kiss on the exposed scar tissue at his throat. He rested his hand on the back of your head, letting you use him as a pillow as you de-stressed from your job.

It took another two weeks for the two of you to be intimate, a collision of need and desperation, looking to each other as anchors in a rocky sea.

“Bad, huh?”

Your hands trembled as you took in his injuries, taking in the amount of blood that was seeping out of the wounds. For once in your life, you truly didn’t have any idea of what to do. If he bled out here, you’d never forgive yourself. But getting him through the gate would be a struggle even when Robin, Steve, and Nancy returned. A wave of helplessness washed over you and you shook your head.

Clouds swirled above you and seemed to darken the edges of your vision as you collapsed to your knees next to him and pulled him into your lap. The bats screeches still rung in your ears, like shrill bells or nails on a chalkboard.

“No, no, you’re gonna be fine, baby. You’re gonna be fine, we’re gonna get you to a hospital, okay?”

Your voice cracked from the tears already streaming down your cheeks. Eddie stared at you, whimpering in the back of his throat from the pain.

“M’kay.”

You stroked the side of his face, glancing at Dustin who had knelt down on the opposite side of Eddie. He was sobbing, shoulders shaking as he began to look around. It took you a moment to realize he was looking for Steve, the only other person he truly believed could fix this.

You began to shift, motioning for Dustin to help you lift him up. Warm, sticky liquid had begun to stain your own clothes, and you fought back your own sobs in order to stay focused.

“Come on, Eddie.”

You were tugging him up, aware that he was probably in more pain than he led on given his raspy, wet breathing. Your eyes were flitting between each wound as you struggled to move him.

“I-I think, I think I just need a second.” His voice was thick with an emotion you truly didn’t want to analyze, didn’t want to accept. You refused to let him leave you like this. A part of you knew that if he died, you’d always hate him for not listening to you just this once.

Dustin was the one to respond as the two of you set Eddie back down, “Okay, okay.”

All you could do was stare blankly at him, heart racing a million miles per minute as he began to smile a far too bitter smile. Blood coated his teeth and you choked, pressing the back of your hand against your mouth.

“I didn’t run away this time, right?”

The words were like a stab to your gut, like he purposefully twisted the knife so that you’d never heal. Dustin and you were shaking your heads before the words even fully processed.

“No. No, no, no, you didn’t run.”

Tears were falling down Dustin’s cheeks as he comforted Eddie, as he was there for him like you should be. You were shuddering, rocking yourself as you tried to convince your mind that this was all a mistake. A nightmare.

“You’re gonna have to look after those little sheep for me, okay?”

Breathing was getting harder, you could see it in the unsteady rise and fall of his chest. You reached out, grasping his hand right and bringing it to your lips, kissing his knuckles. He glanced at you, a brief look of sorrow flickering through his eyes before he turned back to Dustin.

“No, you’re gonna do that yourself!” He was sniffling now, anger and sadness rushing through him in a storm of grief.

“Nah, man, say I’m gonna look after them.” His voice was raspy and low, though you had to give it to him, he was surprisingly lucid. A part of you wondered if you simply imagined him alive, forced yourself into some sort of twisted delusion to cope with his death.

“Say it.” He was beginning to shake in Dustin’s arms, eyes darting between the younger boy’s face and the red, lightning filled sky. You glanced around, wishing for movement on the forest’s edge that looked wildly familiar. Praying to a God you wouldn’t believe in if Eddie died.

Dustin was sobbing again, “I’m g… I’m gonna look after them.”

Eddie smiled again. “Okay, good, because I think I’m actually gonna graduate.” You jerked your head back to him, ignoring the way your throat seemed to be closing up at the idea. For years, the two of you had agreed that as soon as Eddie graduated, you’d get married and find somewhere outside of Hawkins to live. Now, it seemed that you’d instead be looking for a place to lay him to rest. Tears were in a never ending supply as you cried, stroking the untouched skin on his arm so you wouldn’t cause him any further pain.

“I think it’s my year, Henderson. I think it’s finally my year.” Tears were welling in his eyes, and both you and Dustin were sobbing, Dustin clutching at Eddie like a lifeline. You bit the inside of your cheek, still trying to formulate some plan to get him out of the Upside Down.

“I love you, man.”

“I love you too.”

Eddie turned to you, that comforting spark that was always in his eyes dimming.

“I broke my promise, princess.” You frowned, shaking your head and scooting closer to him. He didn’t need to be thinking about all the things you would miss out on if he died. He needed to be focused on surviving.

“Told you I’d make you a Munson one day,” he choked on the blood gathering in his throat. You couldn’t stifle the sob that worked its way up from your chest. The silver ring he’d given you two months ago was now coated in blood, but you ignored both. It didn’t matter what he promised you if he didn’t fucking live.

“I’m sorry.” Tears finally leaked down his face and his chest began to rise and fall rapidly, that terrible wet, raspy noise sounding from his throat as he struggled to breath his last breaths.

“No, no, no, baby. I love you, stay with me, yeah? You gotta stay with me!”

It didn’t matter. The light in his eyes faded and you let out an inhuman sound, crying out like some sort of wounded animal. The sound of your heartbeat thundered in your ears and it took everything in you not to just lay down and die next to him.

It was dark in your room. You lurched up into a sitting position, a knot in your throat and tears in your eyes. This feeling wasn’t unfamiliar, but it had been a distant memory these past four weeks. It was your fault, getting too comfortable with the lack of nightmares and panic attacks. Normally they occurred when you weren’t around anyone, allowing you the privacy to calm and collect yourself before going about your life.

It took you a moment to realize you couldn’t actually breathe. You choked, a wounded noise that woke Eddie without you realizing. The room was spinning as you tried to ground yourself, but try as you might, you couldn’t. Nothing seemed to be in focus as a heavy weight pressed itself against your chest, constricting your lungs as you desperately gasped for air. Something gripped your shoulders and it sent you further down in your spiral of panic, sputtering and wheezing as you tried to pull air into your lungs. The grip tightened and you blindly reached out, grasping at the person’s wrists. You swayed, feeling light headed from the lack of oxygen.

It took you far too long to see that it was Eddie leaning in front of you, holding your shoulders. He was repeating your name, though it seemed as though it had risen in volume since he started. You choked, the room still spinning around you. He knelt in front of you, rubbing circles into your skin as you tried to ground yourself. You hiccuped, a fresh wave of tears streaming down your face as you slid your hands up his arms and onto his chest. A steady beat thumped under your fingertips and you leaned forward, burying yourself in him as your chest began to open up again. You took in unsteady gulps of air, whimpering at the adrenaline that was coursing through you. It was impossible to tell when you could actually breathe again, but you slumped against Eddie when you could at least draw in a little air, eyes heavy and head pounding. An overall numbness seemed to have taken over.

“Hey, what happened? Are you okay?” Your hands trembled and you shook your head, hating the tears that just kept coming. Eddie cooed at you, rubbing your back and rocking you side to side. It was a good idea to go eat or drink something, but you didn’t know if you had it in you. All you wanted to do was lie in bed, wrapped in Eddie’s arms. You pulled back a little, your inhales still unsteady.

“Can, can I see them?” The words you spoke were nearly lost in the sounds of the box fan in the corner of the room. You refused to make eye contact with him, instead choosing to fiddle with the hem on the collar of his shirt. You wanted to see the scars, see the proof that he was really alive in front of you. Eddie’s hands on your back stopped in their tracks. It was clear to see that your request made him uncomfortable, and your heart broke all over again.

“Don’t worry about it, I wasn't thinking. I’m really sorry.” He nodded and you pulled away further, throwing your legs off the bed and standing on shaky legs. He simply watched you, a frown etched into his face and his brow furrowed. You pressed a kiss to his forehead before walking over to your door.

“I’m going to get some juice, yeah?” The weight in your chest hadn’t lifted quite yet, and you wanted nothing more to curl into a warm, fuzzy blanket and cry until you couldn’t anymore. The floorboards creaked underneath your bare feet as you made your way into the kitchen, opening the fridge with a frown and grabbing the juice on the bottom shelf. Your entire body felt like it was made of Jell-O, your arms weak as you poured the sugary drink into a plastic dup. Leaning heavily against the counter, you sipped on your drink, mind wandering back to your nightmare. At the first memory, your heart began to race again and you closed your eyes, reminding yourself it wasn’t real. Your nightmare wasn’t accurate to what happened. The gang saved Eddie, and that’s what mattered.

A creak of the floor behind you had you whirling around, the juice in your cup nearly spilling onto the floor. Eddie was standing by the kitchen entrance, wringing his hands together and keeping his gaze on the ground. He looked like a wounded puppy, eyes wide and face vulnerable.

“If I show you, promise me you won’t run away?”

You blinked at him, mind reeling. A simple, what, was on the tip of your tongue. It tasted sour as you tried to piece together what the fuck he was saying. The seconds ticked by, Eddie becoming more fidgety as each one passed. You blinked again, the realization hitting you like a bus.

“Oh, fuck.”

He whipped his head up, a look of hurt flashing over his face as he took in your words. He jerked back as if you’d slapped him and you set your cup down and stepped towards him, grabbing his hands and tugging him towards you. He was trembling again. You began to giggle at the situation. God, the two of you were such a disaster. Completely unable to communicate properly.

The look of hurt on his face deepened and you shook your head, biting your lip to keep from laughing again.

“We’re such a mess, aren’t we? Baby, I will never run from you,” you reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear.

“Never.” You pulled him towards you and kissed him gently on the mouth. He whimpered at the action, hands leaving yours to grip your hips, nails digging into the fabric of your shorts. The feeling was akin to a burn, searing your flesh as you pressed yourself further into his front. He shuddered as you reached up and gave a short tug of his hair, grinning as you drew back. It was a nice distraction, you thought, kissing him. He was sweet as honey, a taste you would always find yourself longing for.

The two of you wandered back into your room, hands intertwined and bodies flushed. His hands were hesitant as you closed the door and he played with the bottom of his shirt.

You smiled reassuringly, kissing the side of his neck. “Take your time, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He nodded, licking his lips again and tugged his shirt over his head.

Your heart stopped. It was one thing knowing they were there, it was entirely another to finally see them. Your breath caught in your throat and those wretched tears gathered in your eyes again. Eddie shifted from one foot to the other, cracking an uneasy smile and saying, “Like what you see, princess?”

Reaching forward, your fingertips barely graze the untouched skin next to the bat bites. The skin was pink and raised, uneven in texturing and covering so much of his skin. Your eyes trailed over each cluster of bites, starting with the familiar ones on the left side of his face, down to the one of the left side of his neck. You shuffled forward, pressing kisses to each one. He shook every time you did, tears finally escaping once you reached the ones on his right wrist. “I love you, Eddie, you know that right? I’m with you because I want to be.” He bit his lip and nodded furiously, eyes trained on you as you moved to the scars on his chest and abdomen, the scars less healed here. The wounds right above his hips were the deepest, and you could still remember the amount of blood that gushed from them. You moved lower, pressing one simple kiss to his hip bone, right along the tops of his underwear and pants. He took this as a message to remove his pants, the scar on his thigh immediately grasping your attention.

You placed your hands on either side of his upper thighs, lips trailing over the edges of the large injury. “Does this mean you’ll kiss my foot too?” You looked up at him incredulously, snorting at the thought. “Maybe in your dreams, Munson. But there’s no way my mouth is going near your toes.” He laughed out loud at that, tugging at your hand to pull you upwards and towards the bed. You stumbled a little, the backs of your knees coming into contact with your soft sheets. You grabbed onto Eddie to steady yourself, smiling up at him.

“I love you, too, y’know. I’m always going to be right here with you.” You nodded, tugging him closer and kissing on the soft curve of his stomach. Your fingers skimmed the band of his underwear and his skin broke out in goosebumps at the action. Giggling, and a bit desperate to see his reaction, you kissed down his happy trail and over his underwear, lips skimming over his dick. He jolted, a string of curses falling from his mouth. A warm feeling spread across your chest and you realized it no longer felt tight, no longer hurt to breathe. You scooted back on the bed, knees parting as you guided him to hover on top of you. His physical therapy was helping him strengthen his body, and it showed as his muscles twitched and he leaned forward to capture your lips with his. You sighed into the kiss, body pliant as he ran his free hand up your thigh and up to your rib, grazing the underside of your breast. You moaned, arching into his touch and kissing him harder, using your teeth to nibble on his bottom lip. He groaned, rocking his hips against yours. You steadied yourself with his shoulders, nails digging into his warm, flushed skin.

He pulled back, urging you to sit up so he could remove your shirt. The air conditioning felt nice as he tossed your shirt to the other side of the room, trailing kisses down your neck and stomach, licking and nibbling to leave faint purple marks. You leaned back, shimmying out of both your shorts and underwear, shifting when you remember you hadn’t shaved all that recently. Eddie grinned up at you, and you caught a glimpse of a more healed version of him that nearly had you in tears. “You’re beautiful, princess.”

You let out a hum of appreciation as he went back to licking your skin, leaving darker hickies along your hips and thighs. He refused to move further inward, the anticipation building until a whine left your throat. He chuckled against your skin.

You pouted, tugging at his hair and pulling him back up to your lips just to arch your body into his. Just the feeling of him on top of you was dizzying, and you rocked your hips against his hardening erection. He grunted, knuckles turning white as he gripped the sheets, both of your bodies shuddering. It had been so long since either of you had touched each other or yourselves, and it was beginning to show. He felt like he was going to burst with each roll of your clothed cunt against him. He dropped his head to nuzzle against your neck when you wrapped your legs around his thighs, angling your hips to hit just the right spot against his. A strangled whimper left his lips as his damp underwear dragged against the tip of his dick.

“Fuck, princess, please.”

You tangled one hand in his hair, the slight sting enough to have him jerking hard against you, and the other went to cup him over his underwear, rubbing furiously over his slit. He choked, body trembling as he hurtled towards the edge. Your underwear clung to you almost uncomfortably, the wet spot felt on the back of your hand as you palmed Eddie. Back when you first started dating, he’d been a virgin and you’d only slept with someone once. You both made almost a game out of it, seeing how many ways you could make each other cum before he finally lost his v-card. The first time he’d come from just dry humping was something you’ll never forget, the heat pooling in your lower abdomen as he looked up at you with those wide puppy eyes and the most shy expression you’d ever seen. You’d simply kissed him and giggled a, “that’s hot,” before you let him return the favor.

His hips stuttered as you kept at it, moaning into your skin. You cherished the noise, smirking as you felt the familiar pulsing of his dick in your hand. You gave his hair a sharp tug, baring his neck to you as you quickened the pace of your hand, latching your mouth onto the uninjured part of his throat and sucking hard. He muffled a loud whimper by nearly sinking his teeth into your shoulder, releasing onto your hand.

“Oh-oh fuck-”

You slowed your pace, letting him ride out his orgasm until he collapsed on top of you, whining softly and alling limp. You kissed his temple, ignoring the throbbing in your cunt as he shook in your arms. It always took a few minutes for Eddie to gather himself after cuming. “You’re like, amazing.” He mumbled against your skin. You laughed, rubbing his back.

“How do you want me?” You blinked at him before kissing his sweaty forehead.

“Just want you, baby.” He flushed an even deeper red, his dick twitching against your thigh. He whined in protest.

“Can’t just say it like that.” You grinned, slowly shimmying out from under him so you could straddle his waist. He eyed you curiously, brow furrowing as you urged him onto his back. His hands came to rest on your hips as you tugged off your underwear and pushed his down until they were tangled up at his ankles. His dick was already hardening again, and you threw a leg over his hips to grind against him. He hissed at the sensitive feeling, unconsciously bucking up against you. You leaned forward, holding his cheeks in the palms of your hand and kissing him hard, trying to convey your feelings in the action. He reached between you to feel how wet you were, groaning at the slickness as he began to gently rub your clit. You whined, keeping up your pace until he was fully hard. The tip of his dick was flushed a pretty pink, and your mouth watered at the idea of finally feeling full of him again.

Eddie watched you with half hooded eyes, moving his hand away from your clit to guide his dick between your folds. You lifted your hips to position yourself before slowly sinking down on him, eyes rolling to the back of your head and nearly keening. Eddie’s head fell back and he squeezed his eyes shut as he bottomed out. You lifted your hips and then dropped yourself back down, creating a pace that would have the both of you falling apart fast and hard. Eddie nearly writhed beneath you, still sensitive from his last orgasm. You moaned at the feeling of fullness, settling your hands on to the backs of your ankles to deepen the angle. Sure enough, he began to hit a spot that had you seeing stars, starbursts of pleasure bursting behind your eyes as he met your own thrusts.

He reached down to toy with your clit again, body jerking as you clenched hard around him. Your walls were beginning to flutter and he groaned, knowing you were approaching your peak. Eddie began to alternate between circling your clit and moving side to side, loving the way he could make you fall apart. The knot in your stomach was tightening, leaving you to rock your hips against his in reckless abandon. You were desperate, single-minded as you chased your high. The knot inside of you snapped and your walls clamped around Eddie’s dick, thighs tightening around his waist. The feeling had Eddie tumbling over the edge once again. He pulled you to him, smashing your lips against his as you both moaned loudly. Your thighs trembled as you rode out your orgasm, body tingling and mind hazy.

“Love you so, so much.”

Eddie was nearly incoherent, mumbling whatever he was thinking over and over and you came down from your high, and you stared at him with nothing but adoration.

You pressed a kiss to his chin before burying your face in his neck.

“I love you too, baby.”

He nuzzled into your hair, breathing in your smell and sighing in contentment. As he tightened his arms around you, a wave of contentment washed over you, as well as intense exhaustion.

“Promise me we’ll talk more about what happened? We won’t push each other away?” Eddie kissed the crown of your head as he thought about your words. He knew deep down that the two of you couldn’t keep going like this, otherwise you would lose each other. You tilted your head upward, scanning his face as he was deep in thought. The edges of his lips were tugged into a frown and you reached up to cup his cheek.

“I can’t live like this anymore, baby. Please.”

He sighed and looked down at you. An expression of doubt crossed his face before he nodded. “You might hear things that you won’t like.”

You knew all too well what he was referring to. The idea of ending it all had crossed your mind more than once these past few months, but you’d reached out to your friends to help you with it.

“I know. But I need you to talk to me.” He nodded in return and laid back on the bed, relaxing his body as he held you close.

“I promise.”

+++

tagged:

@mattefic

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson angst #stranger things volume 2 #stranger things season 4 #stranger things #st4 vol1 #st4 vol2

124 notes · View notes

melesmee · 7 months

Note

yk while we're talking about cody and juvie's relationships with losers. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW JUVIE FELT AFTER THE END OF EPISODE 20.

like yeah. mini had been lying and manipulating cody since grd but. imagine being juvie. you've just found out that mini has been here the entire time. ofc you have to get over the shock of "holy shit mini has been here the entire time" but that eventually makes way for "okay, maybe things can go back to the way they were before". even more so now that gma is mostly out of the picture.

and then CODY finds out and just completely loses it. like, just completely drops the whole average thing that he's been unshakably commited to for weeks now and suddenly everything is the same as it was before. do you any idea how pissed juvie probably is. like, they're probably not gonna be able to think too hard about it considering there's more urgent cody-related problems at hand but.

(also sidenote, mini getting an entire episode dedicated to confronting and accepting her past and then almost immediately having all her fears realized is so fucked up)

RIGHT ITS CRRAAZZZYYY

like. haircuts are so symbolic in general. and juvie has more symbolism tied to it bcs MINI gave them the hair tie!!! they grew their hair out specifically to honor mini’s memory !! but like. now mini’s back. and they’re…..moving on, i guess? not from loving mini necessarily, but…..it’s been years. they’ve both grown and changed as people. juvie losing their hair (and more importantly, the hair tie) symbolizes kind of like. a new beginning for the two of them. juvie’s done mourning !! they’re ready to get to know the person mini’s become :)

vs cody!! his initial reaction is ‘omg mini’s alive’ and the relief. all the guilt and self torture he’s put himself through for years lifts a little because mini’s alive!!!! she’s not dead and it’s not his fault!!! and the hypothetical scene that plays as codys reaction is like. they both could’ve done things better. they both could’ve avoided hurting each other, but they didn’t. mini left and cody basically let her. and this is where they are now. they’re…..different people. cody’s gotten better through his relationship with pb. he has a better understanding of being a loser, and he’s opened up to someone about his trauma for. probably the first time ever.

meanwhile, mini has been so obsessed with clinging to the past and recreating her childhood, but without the things she didn’t like. she wanted juvie, cody and herself to hang out in chill haven forever, with no status difference or overbearing grandma to ruin it!! she’s obsessed with things staying exactly as they were back then. she doesn’t really account for juvie and cody growing up, and she doesn’t really even realize how much SHE has changed, either.

and that’s when the rejection hits!!! cody’s changed!! he doesn’t want godhood, he’s not sure if he ever really did!! and after EVERYTHING mini put him through- everything she’s put pb through? pb’s not even a part of this! mini dragged in some random loser to be part of her selfish scheme, and the heartbreak they both suffered was HER fault!! she was gonna send pb to the void after all this! isn’t that fucked up? he’s literally a tool to her, to make her idealized world!! so cody snaps!!! he shows that hey! people CAN change! i might have failed you all those years ago, but i will NOT fail pb. i won’t lose him like i lost you.

and i think juvie understands that. i don’t really think they’d be mad at cody for being so angry, as much as they love mini. i mean, this is what they’ve been trying to get him to do for weeks now, man. stand up for something. take some GODDAMN control of his life. of course they’d be concerned for mini, because she’s not being malicious, but like….how could they be mad at cody? he finally did it.

idk. basically it’s what delusional sorikus want kingdom hearts to be (im delusional sorikus :3)

#gonna tag this actually bcs me and neodoodles were cooking #cool kid cody #cool kid cody spoilers #spoilers

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libermachinae · 3 months

Text

apologies for the random Dragon Age hyperfixation 😭 t4t M!Adaar/Casandra hit me like a freight train this morning and I need to be able to function at work tomorrow so this is going up now.

CW: internalized transphobia, religious trauma

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Adaar pressed a hand to Cassandra’s chest. It was warm, just like the rest of him; a quiet reassurance she had become familiar with at some point, though she could not say exactly when.

“Wait, before we go any further,” he said. “There’s something you should know.”

Here it came. The inevitable heartbreak, the one Cassandra knew had to come at some point. Things like this didn’t happen to her. Not people like her; her specifically. The florid romances were things that happened safely just on the other side of a book page, not here in real life, the world of flesh and blood. She braced herself, trying to put on a brave face. She might have been a bad liar, but damn if she wasn’t going to try.

“What?” she asked. Not accusatory, she hoped. They were long past that. Adaar of all people had to know, if she acted with suspicion, it was only because the world at large had proven itself a duplicitous place. Though she trusted this man far more than any other, there was a reserve of herself that would not be convinced, no matter how thoroughly he proved himself. And he had proven himself, time and time again. Why else would she have ventured out here with him?

“I’m not like other men,” he said. “My body is different.”

Cassandra’s mind leapt to some of the more lurid tropes she’d encountered in her reading, but she quickly dismissed the thought. Though Adaar seemed to have an endless stream of quips for every situation, she knew by now when he was speaking sincerely.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“When I was born…” He grasped about for words, then gave up with a shake of his head. “I haven’t actually had to explain this before, the other mercs always just accepted it. Do you mind if I just show you?” He touched the waistband of his breeches, indicating what that would entail.

“...Go ahead,” she decided.

When she had, in moments of indulgence, imagined watching the Inquisitor undress for the first time, she had never pictured herself with feelings of trepidation. He moved quickly, removing first the formal jacket Josephine had pressured him into, followed by the thick belt buckle. There was nothing sensual about his movements, and yet there was no intimacy lost for the way he carefully coiled the fine leather and set it aside. It was vulnerability, she realized. The Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste, the man who had taken her courtship as a challenge, was nervous to undress before her.

That realization was what scared her. She had seen all manner of terrible things done to living bodies, and the idea that such a thing might have befallen Adaar as well was distressing, but not insurmountable. Andraste (and Andraste alone) knew what she had endured. But that was the very reason she felt afraid now. Nothing he could show her now could be so terrible as the secret she herself held. If this, whatever it was, was enough to shake him, she could not begin to imagine how he would react if he ever found out her deepest shame.

She wondered, now, what she had been thinking, following him down here. Bringing attention to the flirting at all. She had known where it would lead, what it would mean for her, and she had allowed herself to get caught up in the fantasy of it, the delight at finally living out one of her most cherished hopes. A suggestion to forget the whole thing was on the tip of her tongue when Adaar dropped his pants.

What she saw there was not monstrous. The basic shape was as she might have expected, and it was handsome in the way miniatures accentuated all the greatest details of a work of art. For a brief moment, all of Cassandra’s other fears were banished, chased out by a far more solvable one: she wasn’t quite sure how to pleasure such a penis.

It was in trying to solve that conundrum that her eyes settled on what should have been the more obvious detail of the display: just underneath Adaar’s member, where she would have expected his scrotum, and covered in a dense nest of hair, were the lips of a vagina.

Cassandra stared. Her thoughts were whirling in a rush, too fast for her to even realize she should say something.

“I know it’s different,” Adaar said. He was still wearing his fine shirt. “It’s all fine, perfectly safe. It’s just my body, and it’s a little different from other people’s.”

“...I’ve never seen magic like this,” Cassandra said. It was a terrible thing to say, and she couldn’t even properly berate herself with how her head was pounding. How could he possibly…?

“Oh, yeah, that’s a good place to start actually,” Adaar said. ��It’s not magic. I take a daily tonic that makes my body… well, a man’s body. I’m not sure exactly how it works. I’ve heard there’s pig urine involved.” He tried to laugh, the sound crashing down before it could fully take off.

A man’s body. The words rung like chantry bells in Cassandra’s head.

“So if you didn’t take it?” she asked.

“Well, I’d look like you,” he said. “I mean, taller, of course. With horns.” He’d been looking down at this genitals as he spoke, but now he looked up again and caught her eye. “Um.”

Cassandra didn’t know what her expression was doing and felt helpless to control it. She turned away, pacing away from the Inquisitor—not back to Skyhold, just away. She needed space. She needed to think. Her traitorous mouth was forming words she had promised herself she would never, ever say, the part of her that had fought to protect her for so long at war with the new part that wished desperately to protect this one incredible, invaluable person.

“Should I leave?” Adaar asked.

“No!” Cassandra snapped around, closing the distance between them too quickly and nearly running into the half-naked Qunari. She took a half step back. “I’m just—I’m trying to find a way to tell you… How do you make this look so easy?”

Adaar’s eyes widened. Realizing what she’d said, Cassandra took another step back.

“No, wait,” she said. “I—I’m sorry, my lord. I am—I never intended to deceive you.”

“Cassandra, stop.” Adaar reached out and placed a heavy hand on her shoulder, ending her retreat. How could that touch remain so comforting, given the enormity of what she had just done? Her secret was out. Everything was over. The life she’d built, the future she’d hoped for—

“It’s okay,” Adaar said. “Just breathe.”

She did that. Willing all her training to her side then, she found her center of balance amongst the cluttered wreckage of her thoughts. She picked it up, dusted it off, and returned it to its rightful place, opening eyes she hadn’t even realized she’d shut.

“I apologize. My emotions got the better of me for a moment,” she said. “Thank you for grounding me. Perhaps you should put your pants back on while we discuss this?”

“Sure, if that would make you more comfortable,” Adaar said. “For the record, I don’t really care either way.”

“It would, but I will keep that in mind,” Cassandra said, and then was surprised by her own laugh. Adaar caught her eye as he pulled his trousers back on, a sparkle of familiar mirth there. Even in light of all this, then, he still had that inexplicable effect on her. She made note of that and set it aside for closer examination later, settling back down in the place they’d started. Adaar joined her so they were facing each other, within reach but not touching yet.

“Just so I understand,” Cassandra said, “if you didn’t take this tonic, you would be a woman?”

“Well, I’d look more like one,” Adaar said. “I’m not actually sure exactly what would happen. I’ve taken it since I was a young man, my entire adult life. Even before that, no one ever would have thought to call me a girl. I don’t know what me but a woman would look like.” His face said he didn’t want to, either.

“Quite different, I’m sure,” Cassandra said. “Does that mean you’ve known since you were a child?”

“Yes,” Adaar said. “As far back as I can remember, honestly. There was never a time I didn’t know who I was supposed to be.”

“That explains a great deal about you, doesn’t it,” Cassandra said. Cautiously, she reached out toward Adaar’s hand. Their fingers interlocked, a much-needed anchor of stability. “I knew, too. Or, I thought I did. When the dust settled in the wake of my parents’ betrayal, I was finally living as a lady, as I had always dreamed of doing. But the reality was nothing like I’d hoped. It was like I was being strangled by all my mother’s fine golden chains. Every day, I wondered if I had made a mistake, and yet I could never bring myself to ask to return to the life I’d led before. It was… terribly confusing.”

“It sounds like it,” Adaar said softly.

“I thought I was an abomination,” Cassandra went on. “A real one. I thought a demon must have been possessing me, to make me want such unimaginable things.”

“Is that why you became a Seeker?” Adaar asked.

“Not entirely. But I would be lying if I said it didn’t influence my decision.” She shook her head, feeling a familiar mixture of remorse, pity, and anger at her past self. “I know now that whatever causes me to feel as I do is not a danger to anyone else, unnatural as it may be. But it is not how one is supposed to be. I do not expect anyone else to understand. Or, that is to say, I didn’t.” She found she could not keep looking at their clasped hands, turning to the still scenery of the mountains around them. “I thought I was the only one like me.”

“Not in this way, you’re not,” Adaar said. Even when he couldn’t get her to look at him, the flirty smile still came through in his voice. “There were women in the Valo-Kas like that too. If you’re interested, they had treatments similar to mine.”

Cassandra tried and failed to hide her alarm.

“Pig urine?” she asked.

“No, no!” Adaar reassured her. “Theirs came in some sort of powder, I’m pretty sure. I knew one member of our company who would take hers as her morning tea.”

Something about the image sent a shiver up Cassandra’s back. Womanhood, distilled down to the contents of a teacup… She had to shake it off before she became too engrossed in the fantasy.

“That certainly sounds like something I would be interested in learning more about,” she said. “Later.”

“Sure, whenever you’re ready,” Adaar said sincerely. “So, what would you like to do right now?” There was a question layered inside that question, a tone of voice that sent another, warmer shiver through Cassandra. But it was a genuine question.

“Could you read another poem?” she asked.

He could, and did, happily. And when he finished, he started another. And when for the third time in a row he succeeded in finding the least romantic poems in a book that had supposedly been banned for its prurience, she at last brought him to a stop with a kiss. A kiss that went on, and on. And when at last she felt his hands on her body, when he gentled and caressed and felt over every (and only) the parts she wished to share with him, she felt the chains start to loosen from every place he touched. And from underneath them, her skin began to breathe.

#dragon age inquisition #cassandra pentaghast #inquisitor adaar #my writing #ficlet

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