#gonna be able to grieve openly at all but we are grieving and she doesn’t even.. like idk. maybe it just hasn’t occurred to her that we are. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bookofmirth · 3 years

Note

I haven't read ACOSF yet, and tbh I'm rather rusty with the characters but it was really interesting to read your opinion on Elain! I feel there's a lot of complexity to her. And how she presents herself as well because as you said we literally have no chapters from hers or Lucien's POV and I think that's the important point to note because right now we're all just guessing and assuming her to be like Feyre, but she's not. People deal/show their traumas in different way and l think people expect Elain to deal with it as Feyre did. But, Feyres trauma and Elains are very different!

I don't really know what I'm saying. But I read your answer and it made me go 'oh... Huh!' in a good way, it sparked my curiosity! So thank you! But I think Elain perhaps is the most complex person with their trauma. I know people say 'oh Nesta is so different' but (I specialised in drama therapy so I love psycho analysis) and what Nesta did is self destructive to prevent relationships to avoid hurt or more emotions that she doesn't want to acknowledge (in my opinion!)

Elain just shuts down. She doesn't drink, she doesn't screw, she just remains in her garden which in itself says a lot! That's a very grounding way to handle trauma and not a lot of people are aware of that side!

So yeah I don't know what I'm saying but I think it's a really interesting discussion!

I have so many thoughts about Elain! This took me a few days to get to because i knew I had a crapton of thoughts. So this is basically me using this ask to explain the way I see Elain post-acosf!

There are three important scenes in acosf off the top of my head: when Elain talks with Nesta and they fight, and then with Nesta and Feyre and she gets mad and leaves, and then Feyre and Rhys talk about her in their chapter. We’re getting a lot more information about her, and for me, it wasn’t so much about who she is, but why we don’t know who she is.

So far, what we’ve had is Feyre’s and Nesta’s POV. Even when Feyre and Lucien tried to help her in acowar, they were unable. So we’ve never had anything about Elain from someone who didn’t grow up with her and experience the same trauma (such as becoming destitute, their mother’s death, their father being beaten, the Cauldron, etc.)

The sisters do handle it very, very differently. And I think that at this point the fandom consensus is that Elain runs away from her problems, but I actually disagree, and partly because of what you mentioned - that she isn’t using those self-harming, destructive coping mechanisms. Nesta was avoiding her problems, hardcore. It’s absolutely possible that Elain avoids things, but I don’t think that she just runs from all of her problems because:

Elain grieves her father. Openly. She tries to accept the fact that it wasn’t her fault and that she couldn’t do anything about it. (See: her going to his grave in acofas, her first talk with Nesta in acosf.) Elain does not run from her grief, she doesn’t pretend it doesn’t exist, and she doesn’t hide it from others. As one of the most defining events we’ve seen her go through in the series, that’s a pretty big deal.

Elain does not cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. There could be ways that she does this that we are unaware of. She does seem like the type who would be really, really good at making people think she’s okay, all while she’s silently imploding. But we don’t know that yet?

Elain does not isolate herself.

However, Elain definitely needs to deal with some stuff! She definitely needs to deal with Lucien, and she needs to have an actual talk with Nesta because I don’t remember a single satisfying resolution between those two in acosf. Not like Nesta had with Feyre.

I have this idea that is purely based on Elain’s line in acosf:

“I went into the Cauldron, too, you know. And it captured me. And yet somehow, all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” (pg. 233)

And then Feyre tells Nesta that yes, Elain was right.

This is so so so sossosososos important. I cannot emphasize it enough. Elain is used to putting on a fake, smiling face because she doesn’t want the weight of her sisters’ concern. She has been pretending to cope for so long - and tbf, she seems to have been doing better than Nesta - that people not only forget that she has suffered, but she doesn’t feel like she can even express that suffering.

Emotional labor often means negating one’s own feelings in order to acknowledge or tend to someone else’s. And that is Elain’s major role, in the series. Feyre has been caring for everyone’s physical wellbeing (hunting), while Elain’s role has been to care for everyone’s emotional wellbeing. But, like with most emotional labor, it has gone unnoticed.

I’ve made posts about emotional labor in the past (four years ago!!!!) but I’m gonna spare you the link because a lot of it was about a ship that’s no longer a ship, so here is the relevant content:

What I am talking about is the regulation of emotion - any time that you give comfort, are especially attentive to someone’s needs, stop thinking about how you feel in order to focus on how someone else feels, try to cheer someone up, make sure that they are taking care of themselves, try to allay their insecurities, etc. Basically, helping them with any sort of emotional distress.

You know those posts you’ve seen, about women protecting men’s egos constantly? Or about making time for self-care? Or about recognizing toxic relationships? That tell you “if X is being demanded of you in a relationship, get out”? Those are ALL about emotional labor, broadly speaking. They are warning you not to do more than you can handle, more than you need to do, because it can be harmful to you.

If you have ever been expected to make a person or people feel better any time you are around each other (including when they are angry, upset, anxious, ill, frustrated, insecure, etc.), you have performed emotional labor. Pretty much everyone has done this at some point, unless you are a completely insensitive jerk.

Notice, though, that I said expected to and any time you are around them – this is where the problem comes in for YOU. This is not about just being there for a friend.

Making loved ones feel better is fantastic. Seeing people be polite and kind to one another makes my heart shine. That is not a problem in and of itself. That can be seen as emotional labor, but there are no requirements on you in those circumstances. This is something you are doing of your own free will.

The problem, again, is when this is expected, constantly, over time. Now, in my experience, the expectation is not necessarily coming from the other person. One of the problems with this type of labor is that not only do others expect women to perform these tasks, but women expect it of themselves.

It’s super easy to see this – who is expected to take care of a child when they fall? Who is expected to baby-sit? Who did you want when you were sick as a child, mom or dad? Who is expected to be sensitive and pay attention to others’ emotions?

For more info on this idea specifically, read Of Woman Born by Adrienne Rich. As a woman, I realized how much work I had been performing and how much it was harming me and I just… got real upset. She comes at this mostly from what a woman’s role is expected to be within the family, and might actually be a bit outdated in that respect because I feel like family structures and dynamics are shifting (that is a totally un-academic evaluation of the situation, don’t quote me on that), but still, it’s really informative.

While I was doing some research for this post I came across a peer-reviewed article about nursing and basically, high amounts of emotional labor led to anxiety and burn-out in those performing it. It literally will cost your mental health – not to mention your time, energy, attention, and it often requires you to ignore your own needs (this last part came from me, not the article). On the other hand, high levels of emotional intelligence (being able to recognize your own and others’ emotional states) meant less emotional labor (and therefore less anxiety & burn-out). One of the most important things to realize is that while you are taking care of someone else’s emotional needs, your own are frequently unmet. That is why it’s important to recognize this in yourself, not just in these characters.

So where does Elain fit in? Elain is the #1 emotional labor provider of the family, and she is about to freaking SNAP. I know, because once I realized how my trauma was hidden in order to spare someone else its consequences, I fucking SNAPPEd. I’ll also spare you the personal details, but Elain hasn’t been “okay”. She hasn’t been “boring”, or “nice”, or “chosen” Feyre over Nesta. She has literally been unable to express herself because (and I am NOT blaming Nesta or Feyre or her father one bit) her family’s emotional state has been so fragile, there hasn’t been room for Elain to feel or express her emotions in years.

In the feysand short, Rhys says:

I wonder if everyone has spent so long assuming Elain is sweet and innocent that she felt she had to be that way or else she’d disappoint you all.

And that completely tracks. Everyone has gotten used to Elain being not just “nice”, but being the emotionally predictable one. The one they know they can go to for a smile. The one they can count on for never, ever making them realize that she has been through Some Shit Too. And being that person is exhausting.

When Feyre thinks about Elain not using Lucien’s gloves, 1) she still has them, otherwise she couldn’t think about Elain not using them, and 2) I like to see the gloves as something that she will come to use, once she realizes that she can feel and express those emotions without it causing a breakdown in the family. Right now, she just wants to feel. And she can’t do that emotionally, so she’s doing it physically. Once she heals and finds a better balance, she won’t need to resort to physical pain. (Which, lowkey has me thinking some other thoughts, but.... maybe later.) But anyway, once Elain does go through her very own special journey, I fully expect her to welcome those gloves. She won’t need physical pain to feel anymore.

Not to mention my completely unacademic and non-professional opinion that people will judge a nice women harshly for being rude once, but accept a woman with a history of rudeness for just “being that way”. It’s another way that Elain may feel trapped in her “nice girl” persona. I think she started out that way - kindness and light and generosity is 100% in Elain’s character in the first place. It’s not as if she went into the Court of Nightmares and suddenly Cassian thought, “wait, she fits right in to this shithole of depravity”. No, he still thought the literal opposite. It’s just that once people get used to you doing all their emotional labor, they will continue to take advantage of it, even if they don’t realize its cost.

#elain #acosf #acosf spoilers #spoilers #ask #PHEW I needed to get that off my chest too #midnight-wonder

90 notes · View notes

xz1005fanblog · 3 years

Text

2021-02-27 Some things I want to say

WARNING LONG POST

Context first, translation of his post above will follow:

Disclaimer: I have no interest in other artists other than Xiao Zhan, and I am merely explaining the situation of the fandom in China that led us to the fiasco in March 2020. I do not care for bjyx, I ship WangXian but I do not ship real people as a basic principle.

My opinion as an international fan of Xiao Zhan and as an AO3 user (yes, I am not Chinese nor do I live in China, I just happen to be able to read Chinese) is that C-entertainment industry is TOXIC and celebrities are not free targets for you to cyberbully. They are human just like you and me.

Everyone needs to learn a bit more about compassion.

I am sure all of you read about the cyberbullying Xiao Zhan went through last year. There were multiple factors that started all of this, most of which XZ doesn’t talk about in this letter because of how sensitive the topic is in China. I’ve never explained entirely what happened because I personally thought that this is not something overseas fans should worry too much about. Especially since most of you don’t have a wb or db account, there’s nothing you can do about it anyway. But since Xiao Zhan himself decided to post a letter to respond to this subject, I’ll put in my 2 cents just that so everyone is on the same page.

Basically, after The Untamed aired in China, the show fandom split into 3 groups. XZ fans, WYB fans, and CP fans (or bjyx, whatever you wish to call it, those who love shipping these two real people together - not just the characters in the drama). Of course there are still people who would watch the show without becoming a fan of the actors.

At the beginning, most people thought they were good friends with each other, with all the short BTS clips from The Untamed. However, fans slowly discovered that it wasn’t the case. Some unofficial BTS clips emerged where WYB said XZ was shooting multiple dramas at the same time = 轧戏 (which is very frowned upon and a disrespectful thing to say to an actor), whereas in reality, XZ only asked for a couple of days days off during the shooting for The Untamed because his scenes in Joy of Life had to be redone and he was bound by contract. On the contrary, WYB had to ask for most weekends off because he was participating in Produce 101 at the time. Other clips shows them fighting about somethings WYB said about WWX, which made XZ mad. So this broke a lot of CP fans’ image of their relationship, and they either stopped shipping/became XZ or WYB fans only. This angered WYB’s fans, of course, which made them blame XZ for the entire fiasco.

Other incidents continued to happen after the show which increased the friction between these 3 fan groups. XZ fans and WYB fans would fight about various voting charts, and fight with CP fans because they don’t like seeing the two actors together. In the meantime, CP fans continuously feminize and weaken XZ in order to ship the 2 actors together (it’s rather an unhealthy trend in China, I’ve been in multiple other western fandoms before - not real person shipping - but we rarely glorify weakening/feminizing the bottom of a ship, because of the underlying prejudice against real homosexuals, who are not synonymous to transgenders).

Some incidents added oil to the fire afterwards. It’ll take me too long to explain everything, so I’ll just put here the main ones to explain why there’s so much bad blood between these 3 groups of fans.

On XZ’s birthday, some CP fans found XZ’s parents’ apartment building and yelled BJYX is real. This angered a lot of XZ fans, because of how disrespectful it was towards the old couple and the clear breach of privacy. WYB fans and some CP fans were also angry that XZ didn’t reply immediately to the birthday wish on wb that WYB sent at midnight (??? XZ was busy shooting a drama, can you blame him for not being on wb at midnight? Give the guy a break.)

In November 2019, WYB filed a lawsuit against some of XZ’s fans (instead against of his own haters!) for dissing him (although I’ve never seen any proof, and a few of those fans remain active on wb now, one of whom has even defended WYB's portrayal of LWJ before...). This angered a lot of XZ fans and CP fans who didn’t understand how he could have done this to his “friend”, and further proved that their relationship wasn’t that fantastic to begin with. WYB fans felt justified in hating XZ and all XZ fans as a result, and openly bullied XZ fans on the grounds of the Nanking CQL Concert.

In January, The Untamed was named to Beijing Journal Drama award. CP fans and WYB fans were unhappy that XZ was named to the Best Male Lead category and WYB was named to the Best Male 2nd Lead. They attacked the award committee wb by spam commenting all their wb posts and the entire drama was pulled from the nomination afterward. XZ fans were especially angry that they started all this only for the nomination to be pulled out - because the only possibility was one Male Lead per drama, and anyone would agree that if chosen between WWX and LWJ, the character with the most scenes and importance in the story is WWX.

Yadda yadda yadda, fast forward to February 2020, it started with a fanfiction written by a CP fan that depicted XZ as a prostitute transgender woman and WYB as a highschool kid (UNDERAGE) = AKA very sensitive material in China. It was posted on AO3, but the author posted the link of said fic on wb and a lot of CP fans broadcasted it around, so much that XZ fans became aware of it. Due to how sensitive the material is and how badly it would taint XZ’s image for his future roles, some XZ fans started reporting the wb post that contained the link (NOT AO3) and the author’s wb page. This is common practice in fandom on wb, usually done to get the wb posts taken down. This caused panic in the CP fans crowd because they thought XZ fans were reporting AO3 and that they were gonna lose the website (which is impossible, because AO3′s servers are in Sweden and not subject to Chinese laws anyway).

Because of how sensitive AO3 was in China and how haters tried to pull in antigovernmental into their crowds, the subject quickly became too dangerous for XZ fans to get involved in. Official fan groups in China unanimously decided to ask all fans to stop participating in the online debate and stay within the fan group circle only.

Someone on AO3 made a commentary about this incident that you can find here. She dug up a lot of info on the companies feeding money to the trolls online, but as I am an overseas fan and cannot really verify her info, I will not comment on those statements.

Sometime in the middle of this fiasco, someone started spreading the notion that XZ fans hated fanfiction and were trying to report anything that goes against their image of their idol... And subsequently people who were not CP fans or XZ fans became aware of this problem when they couldn’t access AO3 suddenly because too much curious fans where trying to access it and they crashed the servers. However later on, people could access the website without any problems. I am not personally in China right now so I can’t verify these claims of the website being walled or not for real, but I know from various reliable sources that on March 1st it was only an overload of the server, and people could still access afterwards.

With this however, haters (which include previous CP fans, WYB fans, and other idol’s fans) attacked XZ for not telling his fans to stop reporting, for not saying anything. They attacked XZ’s endorsements and spammed hate speech on the products he was promoting. They would rate 1 star in all his dramas and songs on db, and then buy accounts to further rate 1 stars (yes that thing exists in China, everything can be bought in China, don’t ask me why.) The reason why I believe that all this wasn’t coincidental, is that barely the day after the fiasco started, someone posted on db the exact list of all his sponsorships, detailing exactly who to call to protest, what words to spam in the comment sections of various official brands’ wb accounts. This entire thing was too well planned to be just a normal fandom fight.

Whether it was other actors’ fans who organized this to cut down competition, we will probably never know for sure. The following year was laden with fake rumors, hate speech blasting from multiple directions. They attacked his personality, saying that his polite manners are just for show (when the reality is that he has always been a gentleman even when he wasn’t popular). They attacked XZ for faking donations to Wuhan, forcing him to show his donation certificate to prove himself. One of his friends couldn’t stand the cyberbullying anymore and revealed publicly that his grandfather recently passed away (the date on this drawing is 2020.03.03, he couldn’t post this last year).

His friend defending him from the cyberbullies, saying that he had plenty of reasons to stay silent. That his grandfather passed away recently and his family has been planning his funeral.

(Sources also said that his mother was hospitalized a few days afterwards. And that haters went to his mother’s hospital to harass her and her nurses)

Haters saying that XZ is using his grandfather’s death to excuse himself (??? is he not allowed to grieve like a normal person???)

Haters wishing that XZ becomes depressed from the cyberbullying and kills himself, wishing that he was dead, wishing that his fans were dead too. Photoshopping his picture into a funeral portrait to curse him

Haters admitting they are cyberbullying XZ, but rejoicing in the fact that they are so many so XZ can’t sue all of them. They have also reported his upcoming dramas for various reasons just so they cannot be aired.

The airplane incident I’ve already talked about here.

A picture antis made to diss on XZ fans: AO3 can be still accessed even if it’s walled, Lofter can be still access even if it’s taken down from the app store. Your gege’s picture are still accessible even if he died.

I’ve only posted here the tamest screenshots, there are far worst ones that I won’t be posting because the amount of vitriol give me nausea just looking at them.

In all this fiasco, antis gave him the tag of “idol who didn’t manage his fans well”. But Xiao Zhan never thought fans needed to be trained, he thought of them like normal people, and their love, something to be treasured and not used. But some people in China still blamed his fans for starting all this mess, and partly him and his studio for not being able to stop it.

Below is the translation for XZ’s letter, posted on the wb post above

Some Things I Want To Say

Today, I have something to say to everyone. I’ve thought of a lot of ways to do this, but in the end, I chose the simplest way to tell everyone about all my feelings and thoughts in the past year. These opinions, maybe they won’t be able to represent anything, nor won’t they be able to change anything, but I still wish to say this today.

On this day last year, the incident happened very quickly, as if a bomb exploded on my face - endless phone calls, never ending message notifications, everyone’s opinions and questions came in like a tsunami. I wanted to say something back then, but I didn’t know what exactly. I was apprehensive of making a statement, afraid that one wrong word, or one wrong sentence would be taken the wrong way and end up adding oil to the fire. This is why at that time, I chose not to say anything.

I never thought that the online fighting would grow bigger and bigger like an avalanche, getting larger crowds involved, and gradually leaving one person’s control. Even though afterwards I made repeated statements to make amends, it could not develop as I wished it to anymore.

This life filled with broken protests and tumultuous noise continued to this day. And I felt I was going through a very dark and never ending tunnel. Unrest, ruminations, turmoil... I have also asked myself what did I do wrong exactly, why did everything after that day became as if it were an uncontrollable vessel.

I spent a lot of time to digest, and then spent a lot of time to understand, understand everyone’s words and actions. Slowly, I started to understand what everyone was criticizing about me personally. The moment that I chose not to say anything, I lost that window of opportunity to reason with everyone. So I was wrong, from the very beginning.

At that time, I wasn’t yet able to clearly understand the entire incident, to understand everyone’s feelings, nor did I know what kind of responsibility I had to carry as a public figure. Thus, I missed that opportunity to communicate with everyone, and wasn’t able to withstand the responsibility of letting these antagonizing feelings grow. Now, I can clearly recognize that throughout this year, this criticism that everyone had against me of “Idol Who Lost Its Voice”, was correct. During this year I reflected upon this repeatedly, as a public figure, I have to not only improve myself within the boundaries of my profession, but also have to carry the social responsibility that comes with my influence. To influence those who like me, who follow me, towards the right worldviews within my capacity. Even though my studio and I have already expressed some opinions through wb and interviews, but scars that this incident that brought such antagonistic emotions between different circles are still difficult to heal.

No matter how late, my own problem has to be corrected. I would like to express my first comment: Xiao Zhan, would like to apologize for “losing voice” towards those who have been affected by this incident. This is my first responsibility towards the public, face the problem and admit my faults.

Also, I would like to use this opportunity to speak with my fans. This is my second responsibility. In one of my interviews last year, I have said, I do not really agree with “managing” my fans (some celebs in China have hired people to manage fan groups in order for them to behave in certain ways for their purposes. Antis tried to spread the false rumor that XZ also had those people and that they directed their fans to start this mess), because everyone is an individual. No matter my studio nor myself, we do not have the authority to “manage” them like some would manage workers in a company. Afterwards, I reflected many times, maybe I cannot use the word “manage” to define my relationship with my fans, but I do have the responsibility to “correctly influence, and actively advocate”. So today, I would like to tell my fans, everyone has the right to like or hate something, and it should be respected and allowed within their own space. Of course this right should be reasonable, should not hurt anyone else, and remain within the boundaries of the correct values and norms. I hope my fans and friends can understand that no matter which profession, no matter what age, one’s own preferences or actions should not cross the line for one’s professional ethics or disrespect basic principles.

(Here he is referring to reports of teachers using his name in class or asking children to say his name to cheer for him. This is a problem that occurred also with other celebrities in China, and for which he has already expressed himself previously.)

No matter online or in real life, everyone should be responsible for their own words. I also hope that we are not represented tags like “xx’s fans”, that we do not set this as the basis of where we stand on a topic nor do we let this determine what’s right or wrong. Everyone have their own hobbies and interest, respect everyone’s choice and freedom of speech. No matter whether they like me or hate me is their own right. Passion, this should be a source of strength to everyone, I do not wish for it to consume or hurt anyone. Perhaps I cannot change this kind of environment, but at least for you and me, today is a new start point.

At last, I would like to talk a bit about myself. Ever since I came into this field, until today, I have always been defined by some tags. But the reason why I originally stepped into this circle was my passion for performance and music. And this is why, I will keep working on becoming a better actor and singer. The sudden criticism of “having lost voice” made me realize that, other than what I have always focused on professionally, I have to also be able to carry the responsibility of a public figure and an idol. I was born in a normal family in Chong Qing, and have lived a normal life, like many other people, for more than twenty years. Today I will also use this opportunity to apologize for the words I have said before as a normal person (I’ve already talked about it here), for the people I have inadvertently hurt. As I work hard on studying to become a better person, I will try to become a better “public figure”, so that these two Xiao Zhan can blend in together, for a better self.

This past year, no matter big or small, I have to be responsible for the incidents that happened because of me. I can demand this for myself, but I have no right to force it on other people, so I can only hope that those who really like me can really listen to me: please be a bit more reasonable for things outside of personal preferences. Live a healthy life, put more time and energy onto one’s real life, and less on the senseless fighting behind fake IDs and unreliable online world. Only to become a better self.

(Here he’s referring to an online fight that an anti called 晨小晨 started. I’ve already explained a bit here. #微博管理员回应晨小晨事件# )

Sorry for any grammar errors, this post was really long to make and I didn’t proofread. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to translate the entire thing for overseas fans since you don’t understand the entire context, and because I wanted my wb records collection tag to be complete, I felt I had to... and I got carried away trying to explain everything. Tried to summarize it as much as I could.

As a fan of Xiao Zhan and also an AO3 user, I would still like to apologize for how this bullshi*t ended up disrupting respectful and peaceful users of AO3. The Untamed tag did not contain hate fics before all of this happened, it is unfortunate that a place where there used to be only love, ended up being tainted by antis and haters.

To the anonymous person who asked me a few months ago if I supported bjyx, this is my answer: You have the right to like whatever you want within your own corner, as long as it doesn’t bother anyone else and isn’t against basic principles. I ship WangXian as characters from a novel, but I have never liked RPS as a principle.

#肖战 #肖战xiaozhan #xiao zhan #xiaozhan #zhan xiao #sean xiao #wb records collection #bjyx #i hate fandom fighting #in the end he chose to say sorry #for the innocent people dragged into this #and for the innocent fans #he chose to carry all the blame #even when none of it was his fault

54 notes · View notes

handonhaven · 3 years

Text

Another reason why the whole “obsession” thing with Hope makes no sense to me is that I don’t even know what people are referring to? At least when it comes to her grieving... I feel like we’ve barely even see Hope grieve? It has been 3 episodes since Landon “died.” The first episode after (3x05), Hope is fighting to find him, as she should, because of course if you love someone you’re gonna try to save them. But talking about just her grief, since it’s an “obsession,” what have we actually seen? At the end of 3x05, when Hope feels she has to accept Landon’s death, that’s when she starts grieving. The next episode starts with her trying to paint in her room and having a flashback of Landon. We don’t know when this took place, but I would assume it was either the day after the end of 3x05 or at least a few days after. Then Lizzie comes in and Hope agrees to help her with the orientation. Which is actually amazing that she was even able to do that after she just lost Landon? So she goes throughout the day trying to help everyone, as usual, (also while somehow being able to put on a fake smile multiple times which is also amazing) but can’t help all the flashbacks she’s having of Landon and how it’s affecting her and her magic. We see her release magic, then we see her painting and talking to Cleo. Then she’s helping Cleo unpack her clothes at the end. Next episode, which apparently was a few days later, she’s continuing on with helping the school and she and Cleo make a sculpture of Landon when Hope realizes she can’t let him go and later finds out there’s a chance she can get him back. And this was literally the full extent of her grieving that we saw. And I would say this happened in no more than week since she accepted Landon’s death. A week. After losing who she considered to be the love of her life, it’s incredible that Hope was able to do any of these things, or to be doing stuff around the school and to be around people. And just because she didn’t feel like talking with Cleo when she’s in the middle of grieving that means she’s obsessed? Did I miss an episode or something? Because I just... I’m not seeing it. I’ve actually been disappointed by how little we’ve seen of Hope’s reaction to Landon’s death. It’s honestly felt kinda underwhelming and less emotional tbh, and out of character for Hope when you look at her reactions to loss in the past. And it’s also been nothing compared to how other characters have reacted to loss throughout tvdu. Other characters could not handle it, collapsing to the floor, sobbing, unable to get out of bed, turning off their humanity and killing people as a result, taking drugs, erasing their memories, like... Hope’s reaction has been pretty minor? Especially compared to her reaction to Landon’s first death in season 1, when she fell to the ground, sobbing, after only dating him for a month or two. I even feel like she seemed more emotional at the beginning of season 2 when he couldn’t remember her than she has been in the last few episodes. I wouldn’t be surprised if the writers felt they had to tone down her reaction this time with the way the Handon hate has grown. Because she shouldn’t seem too affected or too “obsessed”. Because if Hope lost it or was sobbing this time, just imagine how much more people would be attacking her if they saw her visibly and openly falling apart over “a man.” Because that is what it’s come to in this fandom. You can’t love and you can’t feel and you can’t care about someone or mourn them if that person is a man without it being unhealthy. So now we get what feels like, imo, a fairly watered down and brief glimpse into Hope’s grief, which really doesn’t feel like as big of a deal as it should be, yet people think she’s obsessed? Because she hasn’t moved on after a week? It’s honestly so absurd. I know people in this fandom have a real talent for taking the tiniest things and twisting them into something else entirely and blowing them out of proportion to turn them into storylines that don’t even exist, but this is something I wasn’t expecting.

#s3 #handon #text #my posts #yeah i'm at it again with more ranting

22 notes · View notes

ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr · 3 years

Text

Wanda vision thoughts of episode 6 spoliers ofc

It’s startttttinggg I’m so excited I’ve heard good things.

I love the new into im trying to think of what show it’s related too it’s defiantly familiar.

The way it’s filmed like a show with the talks to the camera is making be very happy.

I LOVE WANDAS SCARLETT WITCH COSTUME. Visions too

“I don’t remember it like that,”

“Probably because you suppressed a lot of the trauma,” Now they’re saying it like it is.

“Mom and Dad have been not fighting just different?” Vision is still on edge as he should be honestly

AWW TOMMY IS A MINI QUICKSLIVER THATS SO CUTE.

Ugh now the sword agents are here with the plane and nasty Hayward.

Hayward is trying to pin the whole thing on Wanda again.

“We can’t outgun her and clearly antagonizing isn’t only making things worse,”

He brought up Monica’s mother then quicked the trio off the mission ig.

They took out the sword agents escorting them.

It’s back to the trick or treating and Peter/Pietro said “Raise hell demon spawn,” I may be reading too deep into this but that made me kind of suspicious.

“Do you remember we were in the orphanage after mom and dad died what was the name of that kid who was always trying to steal your boots. He had the... He had the skin thing?” Wanda to Peter/Pietro

“You’re testing me,” Peter/Pietro

“No I’m not,” Wanda

“Hey it’s cool. I know I look different,”

“Why do you... look different?”

Wanda knows this Pietro is different and doesn’t have the same knowledge as the other one which is why she was testing them she just doesn’t know where this version of him came from she’s still clueless to (the multiverse) that world.

This has to be like Uncle Jesse a bit he keeps calling himself Uncle P

“Say it again now all the candy has dissapeared?” Herb then cuts to all the kids looking down cause their candy is gone.

“And now all the jack-o-lanterns have been smashed?” Product of Quicksilver and the twins they’re using powers very openly this episode.

She just found out Vision wasn’t on duty

“Is there something I can do for you Wanda? Do you want something changed?” Herb

She seems caught off by the question I’m assuming that’s her subconscious trying to make up for the fact that vision lied to her and she wants to fix it.

Now she’s confused again.

He sees this woman who is glitching and crying she is trying to put a ghost decoration up over and over again. The she pain she is in is seeping through and I guess the control over her isn’t allowing her to do anything else but struggle to put up the decorations.

“I’m so hungry I’d eat anything,” Commercial snacked on Yo-Magic the kid is too weak to open it and they died. Yo-magic the snack for survivors. Still trying to figure out this commercial

“I got shot like a chump on the street for no reason and the next thing I know I heard you calling me. I knew you needed me,” Pietro/Peter very suspicious it’s a different multiverse Pietro but he definitely has bad intentions. He also brought up “isn’t that what you wanted?” Hinting to Wanda calling the shots.

Tommy had super speed now great now he’s running everywhere after Wanda told him to take it slow because she can’t control him.

“Do go past Ellis Lane,” I’m assuming that’s where that’s where hex cuts off.

The people near the edge are barely moving because they’re out of Wanda magic reach I think.

Also where’d Wanda get all those kids from there were none before.

Monica and the Jimmy and Darcy trio found out Hayward is tracking vision so now they can find out how sus be really is.

Vision is flying up to see everything and he here’s Halloween phrases and he sees a parked car

Should be Agnes from the trailer.

“ Town square scare. Where is it?” Agnes

“Oh, well the Town square I expect,” Vision

Agnes let out a creepy laugh.

“Took a wrong turn got lost,” there are tears in her eyes.

“In the town you grew up in?”

Vision pulls her out of the control.

“You... you’re one of the avengers youre vision are you here to help us?”

“I am Visuon. I do want to help. What’s an Avenger?” I guess Wanda does have some control over him if she was able to make him forget about everything before hand or maybe because he doesn’t have the mind stone he doesn’t have the memories but Shuri said without the mind stone there were so much vision still there. I’m gonna assume it’s Wanda

“What why don’t you remember?” Agnes “Am I dead?”

“No why would you think that?”

“Cause you are?”

“I am what?”

“Dead,” She confines to shout that she is dead.

She has brought up how no one leaves Wanda won’t even let them think about it. Her witch laugh is definitely a sign on Agatha she’s even wearing a witch costume and Peter Wanda and Vision all have their comic costumes on.

AHHH THATS WHY THEY CANT GO PAST ELLIS LANE BECAUSE THATS WHERE EVERYONE STOPS MOVING. They can’t move and it’s almost like they’re dead. There stuck in a cloud of Wanda grief.

I think Monica‘s powers are coming in because Darcy is talking about how her Energy in her cells on A molecular level is being rewritten and it’s unsafe too go back in the hex. In the comics Monica can turn herself into any form of energy I believe she can turn herself into pure energy.

“It’s changing you,” Darcy to Monica

Monica wants to stop Wanda’s grief.

Darcy is trying to breakthrough the into what Hayward is hiding which is the fact they’re trying to weaponize Vision.

“Where were you hiding all these kids up until now?” Pietro/Peter.

"What?” Wanda

“ I assumd they were all sleeping peacefully in their beds no need to traumatize beyond the occasional Holiday episode cameo, am I right?”

“No I dont-”

“You were always the empathic twin. hey don’t get me wrong you’ve handled the ethical considerations of this scenario as best as you could, families and couples stay together, most personalities aren’t far off from what’s underneath, people got better jobs, better haircuts for sure”

“You don’t think it’s wrong?” Wanda

“What, are you kidding? I am impressed seriously it’s a pretty big leap from giving people nightmares and shooting red wiggly-woos out of your hands” Like in age of ultron reaching into the Avengers biggest fears. On the other hand the phrase wiggly-woos is very cute.

He’s telling her how he can’t talk to her. And she said she doesn’t know how she did it she only remembers feeling completely alone and empty. So she was grieving and depressed. She just saw the gunshot wound and the white eyes on Pietro like she did to Vision with his head crushed earlier on. She’s losing touch to this made up world and is now getting glimpses of reality.

Darcy is almost at my into Hayward’s stuff.

Idk if these names are important but they’re in Hayward’s email so I’m gonna write them down.

James D. Gadd,

James J. Alexander

James X-ND Seckler.

James woo wasn’t listed in his contact either. He’s either been blocked or was never there.

Vision is at the edge of the hex HES breaking through now. He’s halfway out. Now he’s all the way out. The hex is pulling him back in and now he’s falling apart because he’s exciting.

THE BILLY CAN HEAR VISION SCREAMING

Hayward doesn’t want to help Vision so he’s handcuffing Darcy too a car.

Y’all really made Vision die again.

“It’s not like your dead husband can die twice,” Peter/Pietro she flung him backwards at that.

He can also see the soldiers and could hear Hayward. The hex is expanding outward to reach Vision and it swallowed Darcy and many other soldiers turning them into Circus performers and clowns. All the cars and shops it swallows turn into things to fit the aesthetic of her town.

I’m not sure if the hex is still moving outwards she opened her eyes so I think that was a signal that it stopped when her eyes went back from red to normal. Guess I gotta wait till next week.

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wanda maximoff #jimmy woo #monica rambeau #darcy WandaVision #Tommy and Billy #Vision #pietro maximoff #quicksilver

18 notes · View notes

mrsgreenworld · 4 years

Text

Sen Çal Kapımı Episode 15 aka Soulmates

I know it's never taken me this long to gather my thoughts on a new SCK episode. But as I mentioned in my previous post Mike Flanagan's shows happened to me 😭😩😱

However, I also think it's because I had some mixed feelings regarding the episode. I guess while I was trying to watch it live (trying being the operative word here) the problems with the live stream influenced my overall first impression. I wasn't able to watch a good chunk of the episode and, of course, it got me annoyed and that, I guess, mixed up with my feelings about the episode. But after having rewatched it with subtitles I have a full and clear picture.

All in all it was a nice episode, very light compared to a much heavier angst of earlier episodes. I liked that light-hearted moments and humour were back. It was also a shorter episode which served it well. However, it felt a lot like a filler episode which, in my opinion, did nothing to move the story forward.

The things I loved / liked:

☑️ Eda: she was a true star ⭐ (ahah, pun intended) and the main highlight of the episode for me;

as a woman I was so proud to see her handle this situation with such strength, dignity and self-respect;

unfortunately, despite the old gender stereotypes slowly dying out, despite the fact that women are becoming more and more independent and aware of their value, we are still often portrayed as a weaker sex; I am not talking about physical strength, of course;

we are the ones left, we are the ones who suffer, we are made to love men with everything we have, we build our whole lives around them, we let our world revolve around them... so, when they leave or we lose them for any other reason - it's the end, everything falls apart, we fall apart; I am so sick of still seeing it on screen; that's why I freaking LOVED seeing Eda not fall apart, or at least she didn't fall apart for long;

I loved that she allowed herself to grieve, to cry, to be angry and to express this anger straight to Serkan's face; I think we saw Eda go through her own 5 stages of grief; but she didn't let depression take away more than one night of her life;

I love that Eda found out that Ayfer had contacted the grandma and, while her reaction might have been a bit too emotional (which is actually normal and understandable given she's still hurting after having had her heart broken and stamped on), I really enjoyed Eda protecting her personal boundaries and basically saying to stay the *uck out of her life - you go, girl!👏💪😎

I enjoyed the way Eda handled herself at the office and how she behaved around Serkan; she wasn't stealing lovesick glances at him or just brooding, she wasn't overly hostile, she wasn't running away;

oh, and when Seyfi brought that box, how she handled that - a standing ovation👏👏👏, everyone bow down to my Queen! 👑👸

speaking of that box where Serkan asked Seyfi to gather all of Eda's things, how he ordered to put away all her gifts - as Eda put it "he's trying to get rid of any trace of me"; in a way she's right; Serkan is trying to get rid of everything that could remind him of her and their shared moments but we know it's not because he doesn't love her (like Eda thinks), it's because he does and it's too much for him; and it's such a contrast to Eda who actually said to the girls that she wouldn't throw away or burn or whatever any of Serkan's gifts or other things that remind her of him and them, she openly said that she's not the one to run away from the memories; and it was so powerful - seeing the writers make a woman so undeniably stronger than a man👌👏

I also liked Eda around Efe, there wasn't anything romantic, I think it was completely professional and it didn't feel or look (at least to me) like Eda was trying to use Efe for petty reasons like make Serkan jealous (but of course our boy was jelly nonetheless 👽😁)

the little moment with Aydan: it was nice to see Aydan trying to comfort Eda (I guess she earned a few points for that) and I really liked the message she was trying to deliver - you can find love and happiness again;

I loved seeing Eda take that in, accept the message, agree that she will be ok one day; and I also liked seeing her not accept Aydan's support which felt a little bit like pity; Eda didn't want to be pitied and she said what she thought to Aydan's face; was it a little harsh? maybe, yes; but I understand where it came from and, given how insensitive, hostile, rude Aydan had been towards Eda in the past, Eda not really buying this whole support thing is pretty understandable;

☑️ Edser: whatever state these two are in - deliriously in love, flirty, pissed off, annoyed, lovesick, heartbroken - if they're together on screen it's always glorious;

do I like seeing them angsty and heartbroken? of course NOT! but the longing between them is SO GOOD!😍🤩

I loved that they introduced this soulmate theme; it wasn't there front and center but rather woven subtly through the episode: first, of course, pretty openly stated at the very beginning of the episode, in the parallel conversations Eda / the girls and Serkan / Engin; then symmetrically at the very end of the episode - the papers with the names of the drivers for the race, then Serkan being the one to notice Eda's absence, him just feeling her and being led by his heart until he found her - not bad for an emotionless robot, huh?😏😉

THE RINGS!😍😍 glad that they brought Eda's💍ring back into the picture; she demonstratively put it on the middle finger of her right hand; obviously she did it on purpose, she even explained the reason behind this decision - from now on it will serve as a reminder what kind of person Serkan Bolat is; but of course I think there's something deeper at play here; Eda could have easily put the ring on her left hand but she went with her right hand instead, with the middle finger which is so close to where it used to be, where an engagement ring should be - on her ring finger; so I think it's also a way for Eda to be closer to Serkan, it's almost like a phantom of what they used to have as well as of all the things they won't have... I am also 99% sure I am overthinking here and the intentions of writers were much simpler 🙈😆

anyway, I loved that Eda and Serkan both noticed and pointed out aloud that the other was wearing their ring; also Serkan's reasoning "to keep other women away" - why don't you tattoo "I am the property of Eda Yıldız" on your forehead, mister?👀🙈😆 could he be any more obvious?

the coffee scene was priceless 🤣🤣🤣 Serkan was so damn confident that Eda poured that cup for him and then him mumbling "for Efe" under his breath... like an offended child 🙈😆

them fighting looked a lot like flirting and the electricity⚡generated during their arguments could easily power their whole office building - I am sure;

the car ride to the presentation and that presentation itself - while I didn't entirely enjoy it and how controlling Serkan was I cannot help but admire the way his mind works; I also think he was doing it for Eda, it was his way of supporting and looking out for her without being too obvious; this way they also get to work together and even if it's just for work he will be closer to her;

Serkan showing up at that sport motivation thing like a boss 😎 and shamelessly checking Eda out 😏 I mean, was he aware there were other people around? and how is it possible that Eda was still buying the emotionless robot crap? the emotions the guy was looking at her with were enough to melt the glaciers 🔥🥵

and finally - that moment at the sea when Eda told Serkan that he wouldn't have apologized if he hadn't feared for his life; his immediate response was that it wasn't about that, "what if something had happened to you?"; when Eda answered with "Does it matter?" I swear I thought Serkan was gonna take her by the shoulders and shake her;

that jaw tick? man, he was pissed 😤

at Eda - for saying something like that, for being so careless with her life;

at himself - for allowing her to think that it wouldn't absolutely destroy him if something were to happen to her;

but the moment Eda left all anger left him and Serkan just looked... defeated;

☑️ Eda and Efe: might be an unpopular opinion but I actually liked their dynamic in episode 15; as I have already mentioned I didn't see or feel anything romantic and while I still don't trust Efe (him being from Mardin - a coincidence? nope, don't think so🧐) I liked how supportive he was with Eda; I think she needed that push to get back to work; okay, there is very likely some ulterior motive here but at least in this episode he seemed pretty genuine and it didn't look like he was using Eda; he wasn't provoking Serkan that much either;

☑️ Selin and Serkan: a short scene with the two of them in Serkan's office and Selin's reaction to Serkan and Eda's breakup; maybe to someone it may seem too strong but I actually liked Selin calling Serkan out on it like that; honestly I half expected her to find excuses for his behaviour;

☑️ Engin: keeps being a loyal friend who doesn't just offer silent support; I like how he always tries to reason with Serkan, doesn't shy away from telling him unpleasant truth;

glad he was there for Serkan at the very beginning of the episode;

loved how he checked on Serkan at the office and then tried to convince our RoBo that it's ok to not be ok and maybe take a vacation;

then the exchange:

Engin: "So, out of sight, out of mind?"

Serkan: "Exactly"

Engin (spotting Eda coming into the office with Efe): "Interesting how that's gonna work out for you" - interesting indeed 🙈😆;

Things I didn't like / was annoyed with:

❎ Serkan: yes, my baby boy made it into this category - there's first time for everything 🙈😆

just to be clear - he is still my cupcake and I love him dearly but here's the thing: we don't always like those we love;

I think in episode 15 Serkan was controlling and childish; and I completely understand where these tendencies come from but it doesn't mean I am gonna turn a blind eye on this or try to justify his behaviour;

that "Efe left but Serkan is here" scene was intented to be funny and endearing I guess but it was highly manipulative; and when during the car ride Serkan commented on Eda behaving like a teenager I was like "excuse me?! have you met yourself, mister?!" because that manipulation to make Eda go with him was worthy of a 12-year-old 🤨;

❎ Selin: when is she not annoying?🤔 while I liked that she didn't take Serkan's side and called him out on his change of heart, unfortunately, she still managed to make it about herself; it never fails to amaze me how selfish and self-centred this character is;

❎ Alptekin: what a poor excuse of a father and a man he is... almost feel sorry for him;

don't apologize on behalf of your son - he's a grown ass man who is capable of speaking for himself;

apologize for yourself, your mistakes and if you're not ready - then don't go to Ayfer just to make yourself feel better 😤😡;

❎ that almost copy-paste from Erkenci Kuş at the end:

getting lost and falling down into a pit in the forest? been there, done that in EK episode 19;

okay, we had beautiful sea views and they placed it at the end to add more suspense but all in all it was awfully similar and also kinda came out of nowhere;

after that emotional scene between Eda and Serkan we were whooshed into "Eda is not here, let's go find her"; I have no problem with the absence of the moment where she actually fell into that pit - wasn't that necessary - but a scene that could have served as a building block to this would have been good - show Eda going for that walk.

And... that's pretty much it.

Gonna get down to episode 16 now

#sen çal kapımı #sen cal kapimi #sck #sck episode 15 #sck episode 15 thoughts #sen çal kapımı episode 15 thoughts #edser #eda ve serkan #eda x serkan #eda yıldız #eda yildiz #serkan bolat

28 notes · View notes

mansionofmuses · 3 years

Text

Alright fuck it I figured it's time to put my nuts in the ring when it comes to writing up rwde reviews about shiddy writing.

I already made a post about how closure doesn't exist in rwby, so that SHOULD trim this a bit. Hopefully.

These last two of seasons of rwby have been ASS and idk even know where to start. So lemme do some character progressions instead of jumping all over the place. Let's start with my fav: Neo. And I'll be as unbiased as possible.

Starting from v6, she came back and teamed up with Cinder. Cool? Cool. Fair enough. V7 onwards she's been treated like a BITCH by Cinder and has visibly shown her disdain for that on screen. And yet she still chooses to hang with her? Why? Like... Genuinely why? Is Neo not like the stealth queen? And the driver of a thousand vehicles? Why does she even need Cinder? Could she not have just jacked an airship herself, flown to Atlas after getting the info from Cinder, and began her hunt there? Instead she's just some minion to her now? Okay fine so let's say their team up makes sense in some odd world. Why the fuck would Neo agree to go to Cinder in the Satan Whale? Why? Why the fuck is she there? After being denied multiple times to get to Ruby and even being treated like shit with visible disdain, she should have absolutely left with a middle finger to Cinder. But nope. We get to see her be visibly uncomfortable in this cult and clearly wants out. Which she does, so good shit. She snatches the lamp and heads out. Fair enough, I guess? I don't know why the fuck she trusts Cinder to go back to her after being treated like shit. After Cinder's doodoo attitude towards her, Neo should be like "wow maybe she's lying to me about roman lemme check with this genie bitch" but no. And don't say "oh well she can't talk so jinn wouldn't be able to answer her." Fuck that. 1. I should hope that the password wouldn't be so ableist against mute people. 2. Neo's resourceful as hell. Text to speech and boom. There ya go. Instead she goes back to Cinder like a lost puppy after being shown multiple times how much she hates her. Why the fuck does she need Cinder to get to Ruby? I have no fucking idea! And then everyone's favorite scene. I know I know she killed Blake's hip atta-- I mean character devel-- I mean Yang. That scene. Was doodoo. And I'll get into more intricacies about it much later. But for now, why the hell was Neo so sloppy in that assassination? Like gurl you revealed yourself so early from, apparently so far away? Pretend to be a passerby with everything disguised (I saw that lamp) impale her and boom. Done. Not sure why she went for a slash either when a thrusting weapons like that would be best for a quicker impale. It would have made any on screen death so much more confirmed instead of up in the air bullshit.

Next we have Ironwood. Oh James. How far you've fallen. I don't really understand what the hell they're doing with this character any more. Like... At all. I fully expect him to turn into the joker and join salem at this point lmfao. At first he was complex, but cool, right? Ok a stern leader who still wants to help people and see team rwby in beacon grow and be successful. Fair enough. Then came v4 and he was like "hey yang. Heard about the arm. Here ya go homie." That was pretty cool to give to a young veteran. Fair enough. But good god once v7 hit, everything just went haywire. He started making the dumbest decisions. Kind of. I understand how he's like "aite let's sack mantle to ensure atlas lives cause otherwise both parties will be dead." except idk why he didn't just make a plan to evacuate everyone to mantle first but whatever. I mean team rwby did it like... In a day? Shouldn't have been hard. Then he started losing his fucking mind. There was an entire thing about trust issues and plans (ngl I didn't care enough to pay much attention) and he ends up wanting to arrest the kids more than actually stopping Salem. Like homie. Why. You have a gang of strong ass hunters on your side, don't just throw that away. They could say "acab fuck the police anarchy reigns" and you should still keep them just to fight literal satan on your doorstep. But he fucking drops everything and resources and materials on arresting them. Like why???? And then he just shoots a child just because? And he goes around full fascist mode and his character is just gone at that point. He literally actively wants to kill the people of Mantle now instead of stopping Salem and I don't fucking get it. He could literally plot with salem about how to nuke mantle and I'd be like "shoulda seen it coming". And then when he gets outta jail he kills Jacques... Just cause? Like why? I understand Jacques let Salem's forces in and eventually led to this shit show, but like... Atlas was falling. Just leave. I don't understand. But I guess it's to show how hateful he is towards those who oppose him, so whatever. Idk I'm so done with him. This man is just so boring I just can't wait for him to get killed off so we can be done with him. I'm sure I missed a fuckload of intricacies about Ironwood but I really don't care at all about this schmuck.

Next on the shitlist is the entirety of team rwby. Just to compact it all into one. Ruby has been getting on my nerves SO much. She is so holier than thou and always right. If she had just openly talked with Ironwood about all these secrets and shit, none of this would be happening. Yeah there would be panic, but homie what's the alternative? Fight in secrecy against the police and Salem?

"hey Ruby I noticed that lamp you keep hanging around. What is that?"

"oh uhhhh definitely not a grimm magnet HAHAHAHAH"

Like no shit everyone's gonna be pissed when you lie to them and keep these secrets. Also these plans are dogshit. "We gotta get a message out." To who??? The rest of the world is gonna see some lil kid be like "hey Ironwood's gone crazy and some evil witch bitch is here tryna kill us all." Like who are they gonna believe? A random girl or the fact that ironwood is the head of the largest military state in the world? For all they know it's just some prank and it's totally unbelievable.

Team RWBY sippin team for v8 and doing nothing all volume? Nice. "But they needed to protect Nora." You mean to tell me Ruby, May, Blake, and Weiss all had to be there to protect someone. The Grimm attacked once and that was it. You guys have no medical history. At all. All you did was wrap her up and drink tea during the volume where there's a literal war happening outside. You don't just "wait for help" you ARE THE HELP you're hunters you fucks! Go out and get shit done. Have like one person stay behind just in case shit goes wrong. Preferably Weiss so she can have those meaningful conversations with her family members she never fucking had. But whatever. Ruby and Yang get into... A fight? That lasts for five seconds when they leave and then when they see each other again it just doesn't matter so I'm not sure why the fuck it was brought up at all. It had no impact whatsoever. And there's a ton more I'm sure I'm just burning out at this point. But let's just talk about the big shit. Yang's death. Everyone's saying she'll come back because plot armor but I'm in the "I genuinely think she's dead" group. She turned to Dust as she fell. I mean who knows maybe Deus Ex machina rears it's convenient head. I hate hate hate how that scene was done. That was such an unbelievable death. Weiss, Ruby, and even Blake all have ways of catching her. Easily. Weiss has like fifty ways of catching someone between summons and semblance. Ruby can teleport around the world. And Blake can just shadow clone jutsu her way there but WHATEVER. I guess everyone was too busy being nerfed and sucking ass. Again. And the reactions? Dog shit. Even when she sacrifices herself for Ruby, it's still all about the bees. It's so genuinely annoying. Ruby just whispers her sisters name and that's pretty much it aside from a >:( face here and there. Weiss doesn't even grieve she just comforts Blake who's losing her shit. And I don't know why Weiss doesn't grieve cause SHE WAS HER HOMIE TOO LIKE C'MON RT LET'S SEE SOME UGLY SOBBING DAMN so now everyone's gone feral (except Weiss who just doesn't give a shit about Yang apparently.) And despite Blake saying "yo let's not kill people aite Yang?" She's gonna say fuck that and have it out for Neo and Cinder out of revenge. Alright I guess. That's fair honestly. Challenging ones own morals based on emotions. Good enough. But god I just wished we could see more from Ruby and Weiss during that. Also I'm so sick of the "oh this character fell are they dead are they not?" Thing that rt keeps doing. Just have Neo impale her and go. Easy as that. On screen confirmation. I'm sure team RWBY has a fuckload more to crit but I'm done with this topic.

Winter. Bootlicking to the extreme that she casts aside her own sister and doesn't care if her friends die. Nice. No closure at all after she turns back to being a good guy I guess. I'm done with her. Not a whole lot to say.

The aceops are just so dumb. I'm done with them. Everytime they talk about genocide for the good of atlas I'm just rolling my eyes. Just say you're fascists and move on. And idk why the fuck harriet is gonna bomb an empty mantle. Atlas is already falling on it, you literally have no reason to do this. And this plot point is stupid as hell. Next.

Cinder. I'm not sure why they decided to randomly drop her background story into the mix. Like I don't think anyone gives a shit after all the crap she's done. I'm so sick of rt trying to make her some "uwu woe is me" woobie after doing so much shit and killing so many people. Her uwu crying moments are just stupid. Honestly watts is one of my fav characters just for telling her how crappy she is. Next

Hazel. Homie is dumb as hell. He hates Ozpin because his sister died in a mission. Fair enough. Why the fuck would you ever join Grimm Hitler when Grimm are what killed her in the first place??? Like??? Just hate him on your own time dude, jesus. And he is consistently hypocritical and it's so stupidly funny how bad this character is.

"HOW MANY MORE CHILDREN WILL YOU HURT OZPIN" as he beats the piss outta Nora, Ren, RWBY, Oscar, and probably some random five year old on the street while shouting OZPIIIIN to the skies. It also didn't take a whole lot to convince him how stupid he was thank god. His character was so cool in design and in theory but good god he got executed soooo fucking poorly. Kinda glad he's dead just so we don't have to deal with his stupidity. Next.

Emerald. This bitch. I can't. I LOVE how easily rwby just forgave her. It was so stupidly funny. "oh but yang was ready to fight her at first and snatched her weapons" yeah for five fucking minutes. Then came the part where she helped stabilize Penny and gave a half assed speech about switching sides. Meanwhile everyone's just magically forgiving of her like OH THAT EMERALD AHAHAH like she didn't help orchestrate the fall of Beacon, the death of many, including Penny, and all the terrible shit that's gone down. No resentment from RWBY except for my favorite line delivered this volume. It was Weiss's ever so beautiful "SHUT UP" LOL (I play Smite and I love how her VVGQ Quiet voice line sounds the same. So when I heard this line, I thought of Smite and immediately laughed. Kudos to you Weiss.)

Salem. The hound attacked Penny in the mansion... Why? You already established connection with Watts in jail. Did he not tell her "ay she cool with us." And in turn did she not tell him "ay she cool with us don't hit her"? I guess not? Cause the hound and penny shoulda bounced together the second they met up lmao. Other than that, salem's done nothing this volume except try to be scary and get her ass beat by hazel. She could easily just go out in the field with her grimm and blasts some people or SOMETHING GOD so far our main villain is just so boring and unimposing that literally every other villain, including her subordinates, feel more like threats than her.

Now I'll just talk about scenes.

The scene with ambrosius was COATED IN CONVENIENCE. Apparently Ozpin didn't tell the gang about the WinMore button they could just fucking walk to until now because??? Idk. I LOVE how team rwby just assumed that penny would be okay when they took her robot parts out. Realistically she should just be a floating husk of aura and nothingness. Like she never had organs. I don't understand how she's a real person now? Which, by the way, I'm pretty fucking insulted about how they handled that. Why make Penny human? She was already a real girl and accepted by her loved ones. Like shit, she was a character that a LOT of transgirls, myself included, could relate to on a personal level and we LOVED how Ruby handled it in v2. It was cute! It was sweet! She said she was a real girl back then and it made all of our collective kokoros go doki doki. Fun stuff!

But now? It feels like none of that was validated until she got an actual human body. Like damn I wish I could just get my ideal body within seconds. Shit. I've seen and heard a lot of upset from my fellow tgirls about how doodoo that scene was, because it's implying penny wasn't a real girl until after she got her human body and that's probably how most of the rwby fandom is gonna see it too. "oh wow penny's a real girl now!" And just forget Ruby's cute speech in v2. So annoying. Minor nitpick, if she's got the aura of a black man inside of her (her father), and her robot body is gone, why the fuck isn't she black? Like? Idk minor nitpick I guess. But anyways back to ambrosius scene. I love how rwby had the answers for everything within the hours worth of planning they were given by Ironwood's motive. Totes believable. And yet the "one way ticket to vacuo" thing was the simplest shit they could have avoided lmfao. Like THAT is what you trip up on? Not the portals you're trying to make or the assumption that penny lives without her robot parts? Insane. (side note: how did oscar have a flashback to that scene if he wasn't even there?)

And now everyone's favorite scene. Yangs death. Already covered it early I just wanted to add more on. This scene is insane. Like... If they actually go through with killing her (i don't see how she could have survived turning into dust) then roosterteeth is dumber than I gave them credit for. Like... They have to realize the shitstorm they're gonna receive right? First they kill off clover, an lgbt+ coded character. Next is Yang? A main character who is WIDELY loved by all. Apart of their most pandered ship in existence: bees. (Both the ship and the character make them so much money in merch btw so this was stupid from an objective standpoint.) You can't just kill a main character that is heavily lgbt+ coded in THE most popular ship in the show. Like... How dumb can they be? They're gonna lose so many fans at the very least. Sales? Down. Death threats? Way up. It would be astonishing if they weren't up to their necks in shit in backlash by that decision. Bury Your Gays trope strikes again folks. But this time with everyone's favorite! Like I just... Idk that decision was stupid and that scene hardly was given any real pomp or circumstance it deserved. She's a major title character and that scene lasted like a minute lmao. It's gonna be RWBY without the Y. RWB. As in rt is a bunch of rubes for making that decision. A cynical part of me thinks they did that just because they want an excuse to off Neo, another really loved character. (Well if everyone hates her now we can kill her off cause god knows we don't know what to do with her), but I'm not gonna make this about her. I honestly don't know how to feel about this death tbh. On one hand it's shitty and *points to essay above*. On another it lets Blake be her own character for once. We get to see who she is on our own. And we can finally shift gears from The Bees Show featuring Some Plot to RWBY without the Y. But again that scene was done horribly with doodoo writing already explained up above. They're gonna use this as some edgy excuse to have the heroes start killing again or grieve or whatever bullshit shock value.

(now that I think of it tho, Neo shoulda killed yang in v2. How the fuck did Raven know she was finna die again. Lmao)

Anyways, that's my two cents. I'm sure there's so much more I forgot. Love or hate my ramble idc these are just my thoughts. I'm sure I made doodoo arguments at some points so feel free to call me an idiot and point them out. Imma bounce. My fingers fucking hurt lmfao

#rwde #rwby spoilers

9 notes · View notes

starprincecas · 3 years

Text

What was the point of it all?

Now that I’ve had a few days to sit with my feelings about the series finale, I think it’s time I got this out. This is something that needs to be said.

I hate that a lot of the rage and anger about the ending is being treated reductively with “destiel shippers are just mad their ship didn’t go canon”, as if that’s the only thing to be angry about.

Let’s be frank here, even with people being hopeful and positive and meta-ing about episodic and character beats for the past 10+ years, using their eyes and critical thinking and going “hmm, this... isn’t straight”, how many people sincerely thought they’d get openly queer characters, queer main characters and ones who have romantic feelings for each other no less, from a show that’s so notoriously bad with queer representation as a whole?

I certainly didn’t.

Did I want it? Absolutely. Was I hopeful about it? Sure, but I don’t think I actually expected them to go beyond the wink-wink nudge-nudge of plausible deniability because that’s what they’ve done since the very beginning. 15x18 honestly surprised me because I wasn’t expecting them to have the guts to go through with it even though they’d both laid the foundation and reinforced that that was the only direction it could go for Castiel.

Now, here’s where I’m mad; not about the final, final tease of something they’ve been baiting us with for literal years (like I said, tempered expectations), or even entirely that they clearly used it to increase their viewer count (fuck them especially for that one), but that the finale was a spit in the face to the characters and to us. Honestly, I’m more sad than I am mad. I wasn’t crying and grieving these last few days because “my ship didn’t go canon”, I was grieving because the people I love were treated so badly and I couldn’t do anything about it but watch it happen.

SPN, for all its flaws and problems, have spectacular characters. I love almost all of the characters (both bit and main with a few exceptions) a lot and have for years. I love them almost like they’re my family.

I’m grieving Sam, Dean, and Cas, and their found family, because they were my found family too.

None of them got a happy ending. Sure Sam lived on, but he was miserable the entire time; he was mired in his grief for the rest of his life. We’ve seen him try to leave hunting before, twice, both times unsuccessfully, before he realized it wasn’t something to run away from. Maybe he’d retire or semi-retire eventually like Bobby did, but he’d come to terms with it and found happiness and satisfaction for himself and with Eileen. But in the end we don’t even know whether she was even brought back after Chuck had snapped her and everyone else away because none of them speak of her again. None of the other characters are spoken of again either; we just have to assume Jack brought them back along with everyone else and that no one thought to reach out to anyone else just to be sure, to reassure themselves and each other that they’re safe and in one piece, that they’ve all finally won their freedom from being chess pieces on Chuck’s cosmic chessboard of milking Winchester AngstTM. Sam lost so many people in quick succession before they defeated Chuck; he lost his entire family of Cas, Jack, and Dean within a few weeks of each other.

The finale has him running away from his past, from hunting, from everything in his life, just to make a point of showing he’s grieving Dean and will forever grieve Dean. Does his blurry wife in the background even know about the grief he’s bearing, or did he package it away like he did with Amelia? There’s no indication he has any support system left, that he was ever able to move forward from that, because having him grieving Dean was the only thing that mattered to the writers/show.

Dean was given the worst ending. He’s lived his entire life for the sake of other people, chiefly Sam, and the moment he’s “finally free” to live his life he dies, terribly and cheaply. Maybe it was meant to hint at how death can be sudden and unexpected, to remind us that hunters live a life where any hunt they go on could be their last, but screw that. It was unfair. Just because he always expected to die bloody didn’t mean he had to, he deserved to live. To have a chance at living for himself however that turned out to be; whether that meant continuing hunting, or hanging it up for a normal life, or finding a balance between the two. And no, just because he went to Heaven doesn’t mean it’s a happy ending either, because he spent it alone. The only person he sees in Heaven is Bobby, who hints at his parents and Rufus and his girlfriend staying just around the corner; Cas and Jack get a passing mention to explain how/why the heavenly system got changed, and that’s it. None of their friends were worth a mention, not even Ellen, Jo, or Ash considering they’re in front of the Roadhouse (I can’t decide if this is more hilarious or sad). Dean barely spends more than a few minutes to get this mini info-dump from Bobby before he decides to go driving forever into the open roads of heaven to wait for Sam. For a man who loves and loves deeply, apparently no one else mattered at all (which, ha, try to convince me of that in another life where I haven’t seen him grieve and rage over losing said people). Oh, and to be clear, I’m not saying he shouldn’t be waiting for Sam, I’m saying he didn’t have to wait alone. I don’t know about you, but being alone for the interminable eternity of Heaven waiting for someone I love as much as Dean loved Sam doesn’t sound like Heaven to me.

I don’t know how anyone can love Sam and Dean and say they’re happy about this ending for either of them.

And of course we can’t forget about Cas. Castiel has spent almost his entire life trying and struggling to do what’s right. He’s been treated as a hammer and a weapon, a conduit for heavenly power, all the while trying to escape from what he’s been pigeonholed into. He’s suffered so much and for so long right alongside the brothers, for their sake, for the world’s sake, and been taken for granted even by the people he loved for much of it because of how useful he is/can be to them. Sure the Winchesters loved him, we know that, but he doesn’t; he hardly ever got them expressing as much to him through actions let alone words (seeing as they struggle to manage it in the latter even between each other). He deserves to have that just as much as anyone else does. Beyond all that, he deserved to be grieved over when he died. Except for a comment or two in the last two episodes, he wasn’t grieved at all.

I’m not even entirely happy with Jack’s ending either because he was a literal child in an adult’s body. He barely got 4 years of a life before he had to become the new God. But hey, it was necessary to resolve the final large plot thread (like there weren’t other alternatives they could’ve taken) so I just need to shut my mouth and accept it, right?

We get a shoddily cobbled together goodbye for Team Free Will 2.0 and no one else. No goodbye for Eileen, Jody, Donna, Charlie, Kevin, Rowena... the list goes on. Oh, but we got Bobby in Heaven in the end for a hot minute, so that’s good, right?

What the show tried to tell us with that finale is that no one really matters, not even Sam and Dean, because grief is more Edgy, more Meaningful, more Poignant, and happiness doesn’t matter worth a damn.

We’re grieving because we loved them, found someone to relate to with their struggles or saw ourselves in them. So you’re gonna have to excuse me for being mad at them tossing this at us and saying we should be happy with their hollow idea of ‘happiness’. In the end we were just cash cows and a number on their viewer count anyways.

#spn #supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #jack kline #bobby singer #eileen leahy #i'm not tagging the ships because this is about the characters and the show and the shit they gave us #i'd tag all the other characters they don't give a shit about too but that'd just make this too long #again: just to be clear i don't hate the actors one bit #they did what they were contractually obligated to do as best as they could and i love them for all they've given us all these years #but the network and dabb/singer etc.? they can fuck off #you're all more than welcome to come into my asks and ask me for my takes on how they could've shot this different #to *show* that other people existed in heaven besides Sam Dean and Bobby without actually physically showing them due to covid constraints #because it is absolutely possible and you shouldn't let them fool you into thinking otherwise #becca rambles #spn grief coping

16 notes · View notes

shortqueershakespeare · 3 years

Text

ivy - ballum fic (link in reblog)

How's one to know? I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith-forgotten land In from the snow Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow Tarnished but so grand

***

Callum remembers the first time Ben touched him. That was the start of the rest of his life. He can’t remember ever feeling as alive as he did in that park, with Ben’s hands on his body, fiery heat running between them in the freezing night. It’s wrong, he’s in a relationship, but fuck, nothing has ever made him feel so wanted, so whole, so right.

Keeping the secret now he’s admitted it to himself is harder than he’d ever imagined. He thought he’d be able to carry on like he did before, but he knows now, and can’t deny to himself how he feels.

***

And the old widow goes to the stone every day But I don't, I just sit here and wait Grieving for the living

***

Ben’s struggling. He’s grieving a family he never had and wishing he was loved. He knows what he had with Callum is real, but he knows he can’t push him. If Callum wants to live a lie, that’s his choice to make.

He and Lola crack open a bottle of wine after they’ve put Lexi to bed. Jay’s out with Callum, and Ben is pretending that he isn’t jealous. Right.

He and Lola are still awake and sharing tears and laughter when Jay comes home. His heart aches when he sees Lola and Jay set eyes on each other. He had that kind of love, once. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever have it again.

***

Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you

***

Callum is still trying to play a role that just isn’t him. He sees Ben and his pain and confusion gets a little easier, until he goes back home. It’s like walking underwater, he can’t breathe and Whit’s like a mermaid, embracing the water. He can’t get Ben out of his head - Whit’s lying on his chest, and all he can think is that he’s never felt more alone.

He breaks Whit’s heart and he hates himself for it, but she makes the hard choices for him and stands by him when his dad openly ridicules his identity. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve a friend like her.

***

I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed He's in the room Your opal eyes are all I wish to see He wants what's only yours

***

Ben doesn’t know how he’s ended up with Callum. How could someone so full of light fall for a man made of shadows? He loses himself in Callum’s glittering eyes, shining like precious gems. He could spend forever in Callum’s gaze.

Of course, he doesn’t. He has Callum’s fragile heart in his hand and in his panic he squeezes it and it shatters. Now Callum’s eyes are glistening with tears and Ben has to go, before he changes his mind and ruins Callum forever.

***

Callum's half-drunk and rambling, long limbs sprawled across Whit's sofa, dangerously close to pouring red wine into her lap. She'd been talking about the guy she was seeing, and Callum is so so happy for her, he seems like the real deal, and her eyes light up when she says his name, like they used to when she looked at him.

Callum hears about Whitney falling in love again and it just all tumbles out of him. They sat on this sofa months ago, engaged to be married, and his heart already belonged to Ben. Callum blurts out everything that's happened with Ben and Whit consoles him, holds him while he cries about the man he left her for. She truly is the best friend.

***

Clover blooms in the fields Spring breaks loose, the time is near What would he do if he found us out? Crescent moon, coast is clear Spring breaks loose, but so does fear He's gonna burn this house to the ground How's one to know?

***

He told Cal he didn’t feel bad for his part in hurting Whit, but of course he did. He’s sitting on the floor of his living room, drinking beer while Lola and Jay put Lexi to bed. He’s just opened another bottle and doesn’t hear his little whirlwind of a daughter come into the room. She spots the tear tracks running down his face and in her innocence asks if he misses Callum. He almost breaks down right then and there, because he hadn’t meant to take Callum away from her. He knows she adores him and he feels so guilty for hurting more than just himself with his actions. He puts on a brave face and gives Lexi a hug before Lola takes her hand and leads her back to her room.

Jay comes in with drinks for him and Lola and settles with his back to the sofa, his foot just knocking against Ben’s, enough to let him know he’s not alone. Jay is content to sit in silence until Ben comes out with it, knowing it might take another couple of drinks before Ben’s ready to talk. Lola has no such qualms, planting herself between her best friend and boyfriend, taking a long swig from her drink and prodding Ben.

“Out with it, we haven’t got all night.”

Ben talks and talks, spilling every feeling he’s been keeping bottled up, not knowing the subject of his heartbreak is having the same conversation just across the square.

***

I'd live and die for moments that we stole On begged and borrowed time So tell me to run Or dare to sit and watch what we'll become And drink my husband's wine

***

It turns out that when the most important and determined women in Ben and Callum’s lives get fed up of their bullshit, the boys have little choice but to agree to hash things out. Especially when Lola sees that Ben’s having second thoughts and sends in the cavalry. He never could say no to Lexi’s puppy dog eyes.

So now Cal and Ben are drinking and laughing, as tentative friends, drinking wine Whit bought him as a sip of courage to mend their broken fences. Callum is talking about Whitney and what they had and he knows they’re only dancing around what they really want to be saying.

Ben would give anything to be back in those moments he had with Callum, but their new friendship is too fragile to touch again. Callum is trying to be grateful for having Ben back as a friend, but it hurts when he wants to take Ben into his arms and never let go.

So they sit, drinking wine in a fragile happiness, wishing one of them had the guts to push it to breaking point.

***

Ben sees Callum, he sees him for who he is, and that’s so rare. They’re unbearably in sync, still catching the little cues that no one else picks up on. Ben takes Callum’s fear and pain and he soothes it in a way no one else can. When Callum hears a car backfire and begins to shake, Ben is at his elbow, guiding him gently out of harm’s way, talking softly to draw his focus back to reality. He comes back to himself sitting in Ben’s chair in the car lot while Ben sits on the desk, holding out a bottle of water, a steadying hand on Callum’s knee.

Callum tries to forget what that touch could lead to, tries to stop looking at the lips he wishes would devour him, but when the fear of his past is gone, it’s replaced with one thought reverberating around his brain. He’s in love with Ben.

***

So yeah, it's a fire It's a goddamn blaze in the dark And you started it You started it

***

Ben has tried to sit on his feelings, be a good friend, but he just can’t. He’s in love with Callum, a flame that started flickering with that first handshake and was fanned into a blaze by their first kiss. They’re sitting in his living room, watching a movie after putting Lexi to bed, the house empty but for the three of them.

Callum laughs at something on the screen and turns those maddening blue eyes on Ben. And suddenly he can’t help himself any more. He’s closed the distance between them and before he knows it they’re kissing, Callum kissing him back as if it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. Callum is above him, his hands all over him and Ben has to stop, them both gasping for air.

Callum looks back at him with confusion before understanding dawns on him and he leads Ben up the stairs, then takes him apart with practised devotion.

***

So yeah, it's a war It's the goddamn fight of my life And you started it You started it

***

Working through their issues isn’t easy. Sometimes it feels like life is pulling Callum away from Ben in every way it can, but he’s not letting him go again. He can’t lose what they have, not this time. He works harder than he has on anything in his life, and Ben meets him every step of the way. Callum is a part of Ben’s little family now, dragging Whit into the mix as well, knowing she’ll hold him accountable. He’s fought hard to get here, but looking around the house and seeing all the people he loves, gathered together for him, makes it all worth it.

***

Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered In you, in you Now I'm covered in you In you

***

Ben never thought he’d fall in love again. Not after Paul. But Callum is inescapable. His love and brightness is everywhere, and Ben is well and truly smitten. He can’t imagine ever being without this man who has shown him that dreams can come true.

#writing #my writing #fic #song fic #ballum fic #ben x callum #fic writing #ben mitchell #callum highway #taylor swift #evermore #ivy

4 notes · View notes

jackalopefreckles · 3 years

Text

I feel like Ive aged at least 6 years since covid started. Im angrier. Less adapted to being outside then I used to be- which is saying a lot. This time last year I was?? Actually healthier mentally then I had ever been and looking forward to having the house alone for a month which?? Was the most freedom I wouldve ever had.

A lots fucking changed. I drove halfway across the country- all 30 hours at once with my big brother AND two elderly dogs, plus my cat. All animals on too many drugs (the vet said they couldnt overdose, and then failed to give any further instruction) cami peed on herself twice, unable to move. I had to waterboard her in Phoenix, a truly terrifying hell city where all the roads are raised and overlapping and its a hot as shit cause its?? What june?? Time was so fake this year I mustve just been stoned the whole time till I ran out of weed, and since moving its been a relief to be able to turn off the spinning anxious thoughts for a few hours

my big brother joined us. He brought a new dog with him which?? Is always a lot, plus I have this pack of dogs now cause the puppy wouldnt leave the super cancer ridden dog alone, and Im able to get her cbd regularly here, so shes always comfortable now instead of just?? Sometimes which is a lot nicer. We didnt think shed make it to chrisrmas. I thought shed die with me home alone to take care of everything, like always. It was almost a relief, I wouldn't have to coach my brother through the grieving process at least, and I had already finished. Its hard now even, for me to realize she might even have another christmas (but I wont hold my breath)

I feel safer going outside here then I did in Austin. I only went out a handful of times in texas, for the last few months I was ordering almost all groceries, and only going to the store once mask mandates were mandatory (theyre not anymore. Im so worried for texas. I missed a huge freeze by mere months. I dont think my elderly dogs wouldnt survived it. If I was alone with them, Im not sure I woudlve.

My parents took my brother to mexico with them. I begged them not to go, told them how irresponsible it was to travel across boarders. To visit an island and take all the plane germs with. I told them that even if my mom and brother were staying at home all day with me, my dad was still going to work and he didnt know what his coworkers were doing. That they wouldn't know what the people on the plane were doing. That at any point they could become the stupid americans that killed half an islands population.

They left a week after today last year. The boarders were closed the next day. Their friend has been traveling back and forth ever since. I have no idea how, except for the fact shes white and rich and wont hesitate to destroy a child, so I can only imagine how shed treat costomer service.

I will no longer allow this angry aggressive woman to ever make me feel bad, and I will allow myself to finally fight back. Im an adult, maybe not all the time (cause lets be real I'll always be a bit too eccentric for most) but when I get angry and allow myself that anger, it's not a bad thing. Anger doesn't have to make me feel like Ive done something wrong. Im usually very just in my actions, and I wont allow my parents influence to tell me all anger is misdirected and hurtful for reasons I couldnt understand. Its okay for me to be angry.

I think being alone with animals for months is at least reassuring that my childhood was unreasonable if nothing else. Which of course is a silly polite society term for pretty fucked, if nothing else.

My aunt had to gall to say weve had a good 2020 cause our family wasnt hurt, and I had to walk away from the zoom call. I haven't attempted communication with any of them since, not that I normally do. Of course none of us died, all rich old white people, most of them retired and able to stay home all day (not that all of them did, I learned about my grandfathers routine and just.. Im honestly surprised no one got it yet. Of course I knew from the beginning if anyone was gonna get it and die, it probably wouldve been me. Hence the 8 months of solitude before the move.

Was the move in August?? Im so unsure about time. Even with 2020 vision.

I tried to date when I moved here. Strictly on tinder. What was the point? On and off testosterone due to the wonders of texas, hadnt changed my body nearly as much as they should've a year after being on them. I look much more handsome now. Im also allowing myself to toss gender aside completely. He/him doesn't mean man, and they/them dont mean nonbinary, so why not mix them since Im?? Not really either.

It wasnt even a thought process like that to start. Much more "this is nice" which I think more gender should be allowed to be. Dont gotta be deep just comfortable.

I wont ever allow my parents to forget what they did. I ended up with three dogs I didnt want (I was so looking forward to not having any dogs) and I ended up taking care of my brother. Again. Its easier without my parents at least. Everything always is. My dogs are even happier. Cami finally isnt anxious 24/7. Again, a sad reminder my childhood wasn't great. Daisy is healthier. Trauma can be stored emotionally or with health issues, often both. I think the cancer dog getting better and?? Surviving and thriving so much longer then the vet said (how good was my old vet?) Is another unfortunate nail in thay proverbial coffin.

Im not as soft and openly loving. Im even more touch starved somehow. Harsher. I still want to choose love and compassion, but Im not letting myself fall into the trap of being so nice people wont be nice to you. Fighting back is something I wont feel shameful about, because it never stopped me from doing it completely anyway.

I was already reaching this on my own though. This was just more coffins, more nails. This didnt need to happen. We know our government let this happen. Its still letting it happen. Im not sure when Im getting my vaccine. My big brothers sick of quarentine and keeps trying to get us to go out. Sometimes I yield, and we go to a park, or the top floor of the parking garage. I get a vegan hotdog from nearby. We talk and laugh and were genuinely just. Boys being boys.

I shouldn't have to deal with parent shit anymore. I do though, especially since two out of three are unemployed and we can really only afford to live here cause of them (they owe me if anything though. Especially with my brother and these animals) I hope I can get a job soon. Or maybe even go back to school. Im lucky I had so much saved up (for top surgery, which I guess wont happen before Im 25 like I really tried for. I wouldve done it before now, but texas waitlists and rules kept holding me up. I literally went to an appointment in dallas, a 4 hour drive, just to found out the surgeon canceled on me for the second time)

Its incredibly depressing, and I know Im lucky to have had that stash. So many people didnt have anything and lost so much. People lost people. Half a million at this point. I remember when it got to 300,000 and I just?? Felt so awful it was so close to how many people we lost to AIDS. Its over that by so many now. It doesn't really stop, does it??

Is that catholic guilt?? Or maybe just irish guilt in general. Is it something I inherited or earned through all the end of the worlds and once in a lifetime recessions Ive been through. Im not sure how many off the top of my head, theyve been coming since I was so small and its always more and more. Im not even catholic anymore. I cant stop being irish though, even though the brits tried (and succeeded. Weve lost a lot. The current royal cotastrophy is bullshit as well, the only person who deserves a royal title is from Meniappolos

My home is decorate all inside for st patrick's day. My big brother loves it so Im going all out, and its def making me feel much more irish then usual (which is a lot Im over half)

I think I just wanted to say Im not the same. I hope I can still be happy an obnoxious is public. I wonder if I remember how

#TIRED #happy covid anniversary #time to post this without reading it lmao #long post #rambles

2 notes · View notes

florchis · 3 years

Note

For FFWF, can you share some of your favorite lines of dialogue you’ve ever written? 💜

Oh, thank you for asking! It gave me a great excuse to go roaming in many of my fics! Under a cut, because I couldn’t choose.

From this drabble (Romantic Fitzdaisy):

“Because being away worked great for you.”

She swallows hard. Just because he doesn’t use it against her often, it doesn't mean that they don't know each other bare and that what often is a strength, can be a weakness too.

“It didn’t work for me because I ran away from my problems. You staying here would be doing exactly the same. Pretending that you are okay. Pretending that you are not wounded. Pretending that there is not a voice eating at the inside of your brain.” He winces, and she dares to take a step forward. He doesn’t retrocede. “I know it was not the same, and we are not gonna get in a competition of who got it worse, because who fucking cares. But I know a little about what it feels like when someone messes up with your brain.” Her clothes are completely wet by now, and taking another step into his personal warmth gives her chills. “And I don’t want you to end up the way I did.”

From Take this sinking boat and point it home (Romantic Maydaisy):

“You left because you couldn’t do the good you wanted to do from within S.H.I.E.L.D. And because you were grieving and weren’t acting consistently.” It’s an affirmation, not a question, and Daisy shakes her head the entire time she is stating it.

“True. But mostly, I thought of myself as something cursed and evil that could only draw tragedies.” She doesn’t even register she is using the past tense until her sentence is over, and that makes something settle inside her stomach. “And I didn’t want any of you to get caught in the orbit of my misfortune. So I left. Because I wanted you all to be alive and happy more than I needed to have you in my life.”

“You don’t get to decide who cares about you, Daisy.” May’s tone is harsh, and Daisy almost recoils at hearing it. But she has become versed enough in May’s body language during the last three years and particularly during the last few months, to understand that the fierceness comes from passionate caring and not from resentment. “We are teammates, and we have the right to choose whether or not you are worth the risk.”

“Thank you.” May turns her head around so quickly that it must have given her whiplash, and Daisy almost feels like smiling at being able to surprise her. “Thank you for using the present tense.”

From for all of my days (Fitzskimmons):

“Sooner or later, there is no denying the fact that I am dying, Jemma.” He makes a pause, looks at them both, daring them to deny what they all know is true. “I am dying, and I can’t stand to think that you will be left alone with your shame and your regrets, knowing that you loved her and she loved you and you gave her up. And for what? For them?” He gestures to the door and Jemma’s face hardens while she takes a step back.

“No. Not for them. For our children. I can’t put the weight of us on their shoulders.” Jemma’s words are sharp despite the tears that are now falling openly down her cheeks. Daisy drives her nails on her palms to repress the instinct to walk to her.

“Instead, we are depriving them of a happy family to grow up, and for all inheritance, we are leaving them our shame. Outstanding parents we are.” He is not looking at them anymore but at his bedside table, where there is still a picture of Margaret, James and Anthony smiling. Dais's eyes linger on the picture too: her beautiful boys and the precious girl she considered a daughter that she hasn't seen in four months. When they all snap out of the spell, Fitz looks so much older than before. “I said my part. I have nothing else to add but a piece of advice: Jemma, if you love her, you should tell her before it is too late.”

From two words colliding (Kasinara):

“You were in the hospital for a few days, and I knew then. I needed no singing. I knew that I couldn’t live without you.”

The same way he has been enveloping her with his words, he has been pressing her against the wall, now both his hands framing her face, so close that she almost chokes on his cologne.

“You over-dramatic bitch,” she says, and it comes out more like a whimper than an insult.

“Yes.” His words are just strokes of air against her lips and Sinara is grateful for the wall because she is not sure her knees could hold her up on their own. “But yours.”

Fanfic Writer Friday

#reply #ffwf #fic asks #treaddelicately

3 notes · View notes

thedaveandkimmershow · 4 years

Photo

28 years married... you change a lot. Not only as a couple but as individuals. And all the things they don’t tell you about being married?

You find out all that stuff too.

It’s both wonderful...

And terrible.

And everything changes. I’m not just talking about obvious plot twists like global pandemics, shuttered economies, tear-gassing pepper-spraying fire-setting bottle-and-rock-hurling randomly-grabbing-people-off-the-streets riots, or the fact that we live in a country with a population that clearly doesn’t share a common understanding of reality.

I’m not just talking about those things because that was all this year.

But travel back with me twenty-eight years ago, when we got married, and you’ll notice right away how there were so many things that didn’t even exist. They hadn’t been invented let alone conceived of. In fact during the course of our marriage the iPod was invented and became obsolete. Replaced, essentially, by the phone in my pocket that does everything the iPod does plus... it’s also my camera. And my desktop computer, too.

A.I. also sprang to life, by the way. Artificial Intelligence somehow working its way into every day life. In ways we never imagined.

And cars started driving themselves.

Then social media. It burst into existence, fixed itself into every part of our lives, and then turned into Godzilla rampaging through downtown Tokyo setting everything on fire with his breath.

Politics looks nothing like what it was in 1992. Neither does religion, for that matter. And people, too, aren’t who they used to be.

28 years.

Time and experience have done a job on us, too. In wonderful and terrible ways.

For example, at this point in our lives, things that were once daunting and nearly impossible to navigate are simple To Do’s on our lists. We’re capable of so much more than we used to be. You can’t even imagine.

Heck. I couldn’t have imagined when we were just starting out.

The thing is... we gained these abilities — like boundaries, like advocating for ourselves — we gained these abilities, learned all these lessons, the hard way. Straight up... the hard way. For sure I would’ve preferred the easy way... but the hard way does have it’s own methodology of revealing what’s important and what’s not. What’s a priority and what’s not. What’s a right now thing... and what’s not.

So yeah. There are more things than there used to be that aren’t... what? That aren’t important. That aren’t priorities. That aren’t right now things.

Gosh. There are so many more things that aren’t our things, you know?

You do you, we’ll do us, and it’s all whatever it is. No harm, no foul.

Now I’d love to say we’ve become wise human beings over the years. Of course I would. But while it’s absolutely true that we’re packing more wisdom than the twenty-something versions of ourselves, that’s less a product of intentional inner discovery than it is a product of surviving life’s challenges and plot twists, trap doors, white water rapids, and category 5 hurricanes.

What can I say? You learn a lot getting roughed up and surviving getting roughed up. You learn a lot about how not to step on landmines and how to recover when you do step on one and it blows up.

So yeah. We’re waaaaaay more capable today than who we were back then.

28 years.

And what do we have to show for it?

Maybe some insight. A touch of understanding. Definitely a lot of experience... bumps and bruises, scars that are left over from a long time ago, bunch of photographs, tons of memories, and a few awards.

Oh yeah. And one helluva life.

For example, twenty-eight years is absolutely the best of what we imagined marriage would be. It’s also the most specifically terrible stuff that surely must’ve been concealed from us in the fine print. We didn't, after all, embark on wedded bliss inside a bubble that would actually shield us from the world. So death?

Yeah, death showed up in our lives. A bunch.

Suicide?

Yeah, suicide was there, too.

Teen suicide?

Took my breath away. It was, in fact, one of the very few times my daughter ever saw me weep openly.

So that happened.

It wasn’t all matters of life and death, of course. But there was sure stuff in there that wasn’t what we expected.

We struggled through confrontation. We weathered depression. We were assaulted by unemployment.

And money problems?

Dude.

We did that one first.

Dysfunctional relationships?

They turned up every year, near as I can tell.

Pies in the face?

Same deal.

Betrayal and abandonment and indignity?

Yes. Yes. And yes.

And other stuff, too.

Lots and lots of other stuff. Too.

But what about love? What about the big L?

Well, love’s definitely propelled us through nearly three decades. It’s certainly sustained us this long. So yeah... love breathes life.

But love also makes life harder, my friends. Meaning the more people in your life that you love, the more hostages to fortune you’re carrying. The more you bear the weight of everything that comes gunning not only for you… but for all those who are dearest to you.

And yeah. Not only have we taken it in the teeth, the people we love have taken it in the teeth. Repeatedly.

And we grieved their circumstances just as surely as we grieved our own.

We grieved all of it.

So.

Along the way I took to documenting the fun and funny in our lives. Most of it was small things, tiny things sometimes. Quick laughs, easily forgotten. Ephemeral in their own way. I took to documenting that stuff because the negative threads running through our lives so easily stained our perceptions and memories. Suicide. Unemployment. Dysfunctional relationships. There were times when these were the only things we could remember.

They colored everything black.

Seriously. The year a young friend of ours took his own life, I woulda sworn that whole year was a no good, terrible, horrible, very bad year.

Except...

It wasn't.

Because when I read over all the stuff we'd actually done that year, all the stuff that happened to us and, incidentally, all the stuff I’d forgotten…

Well, it really wasn't shrouded in darkness at all. Not every day. Heck, not even every month.

There was life in there, always. Light. Laughter. Love. Adventure. Between the cracks, sometimes, but always there.

Always there.

I wish I could tell you why that is.

Are we made this way? Are we just lucky?

No idea.

For real. No idea.

But at the very point reason abandons me, there's this, irrefutable fact. The woman I married is badass. She's funny. She's smart. She’s creative. She thinks out of the box in ways that produce answers, results, improvements... plus it’s a skill that’s seriously billable. She’s a renaissance woman. She's talented like crazy. She's beautiful in ways I couldn't imagine when we got married. She fills and fulfills my life in myriad ways. She surprises me.

Think on that for a moment. Almost three decades later…

She still surprises me.

For those of you shopping around for a future wife or husband, I would say Friendship's gonna be number one with a bullet. Badass and Funny are definitely near the top of the list. Also keep a keen eye out for Compassion, Grace, and an ability for Peace. 'Cause you will run into terrible things, the both of you. And it takes more than graduate and post-graduate degrees, sometimes, to get through a single day, or even recover from one moment.

Passion... that's another one. And not just sexual, by the way, although that does make sex way more fun. ;-) But passionate about life. Passionate about people. Passionate about the things that are important to them.

Seriously. 'Til death do us part is longer than you think when you're a twenty-something. It completely helps when you both have the ability to never be bored. And be able to engage damn near anything.

It helps when you’re both compatible in ways none of us thinks about when we think about Love. When we think about Romance. When we think about Forever.

It’s important to think about those things, though, because Forever is a very long time, my friends.

And you can’t do that with just anybody.

I couldn’t do that with just anybody.

Which is why I said, "I do". Which is why she said, "I do". And which is how we were able to navigate the life that both unfolded and unraveled after that. A life that’s been breathtaking in wonderful and terrible ways.

And yeah of course we’re thankful for the Wonderful.

But when it comes to the Terrible…

We’re Thankful for each other.

:-)

#marriage #married #wedding #relationship #friendship #forever #love #laughter #wisdom #experience #learning #wonderful and terrible #wedding anniversary #things we learned #change #learning to deal #I do

4 notes · View notes

darkpoisonouslove · 4 years

Note

Faragonda and Griffin. All of them. And Griffin and Valtor. All of them. (Please?)

I know I said I’ll do both ships but... I’m just gonna be honest here, I really don’t feel like doing the questions for Griffin and Valtor since a lot of them are kinda obvious when it comes to those two and the rest require too much thought as I’ll have to craft some AUish scenarios for them, and I have leftover exhaustion from uni and a ton of fic ideas on my hands and, frankly... I just can’t make myself do them. If I feel like it at some point, I will do them and tag you, but for now have some Griffin and Faragonda. It’s long anyway.

1. Do they have a lot of arguments? If so, over what?

They have some arguments. Mostly because now that they're together so often they witness a lot more of how they act in different situations and since their philosophy on some things differs, they can get into some pretty heated fights.

2. Who apologizes first? In what way? Is it hard for either of them to apologize?

It is usually Griffin who apologizes first actually since she won't even hear anything from Faragonda until she's calmed down. And when that happens, she usually finds where she was wrong so her first step is to approach Faragonda and apologize. She does it verbally because she wants to get used to the feeling. And since the fight was verbal, it makes sense for the apology to be, too. The words themselves aren't that hard to say. The hard part is reaching the conclusion that she needs to apologize. She's so used to the world giving her crap that she considers the shit she does payback which means no apologizing for her actions. It's sometimes hard to remember that with Faragonda it's different but she always does because she loves her too much not to.

3. Which one has more insecurities? Over what?

Griffin has more insecurities over her temper, stubbornness, impulsivity, pride, inability to forgive and so on. She's afraid she may be too "dark" for Faragonda which is ridiculous since they've been best friends since forever but, alas, here we are.

4. Who gets more riled up? Do they show their anger?

Griffin is the more temperamental one. Faragonda prefers it that she get her anger out (as long as she doesn't let her magic destroy everything around), though, rather than keep it bottled. Firstly, because that's healthier for Griffin and secondly, because it's better to yell it out than to go the silence treatment route. They have enough of an experience with that one.

5. How do they hide their pain when they’re upset? Do they try to hide their pain?

Griffin may sometimes try to hide her pain if she feels like she deserves it. Faragonda begs her not to do it since it's not healthy for her or their relationship. It's always better to talk things out instead of letting them fester. Griffin usually tries to listen but she still has her moments and tries to act like nothing's bothering her even though Faragonda can easily tell that's not true. She tries to be careful and gentle when she nudges her to share, though, and it almost always works out. Faragonda does have her own moments of hiding her pain as well because she's afraid Griffin will just start loathing herself if she finds out she's hurt her. Griffin calls her out on it, of course, and tells her to take her own advice. They should be able to communicate everything, including things that may not be all that pleasant and easy to accept.

6. Who tries to make up first? does it work?

Griffin is actually the one who tries to make up first because she is the one who usually needs longer to cool down and Faragonda knows that so she gives her enough space and time, knowing that she'll seek her out when she comes around.

7. Would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? If they had a falling out?

Not really but it has happened once or twice. They were arguing and Faragonda reached for Griffin to snap her out of it but Griffin grabbed at her arms and slammed her into the wall telling her not to touch her. Which she did, of course, and it ended up in angry sex that left them both with a lot of marks. Those Griffin left were more painful but the ones that Faragonda left on her are somehow more possessive. And it was Faragonda who ended up on top even if it cost her a lot of energy to hold Griffin down since she didn't stop struggling and retaliated by clawing and biting at Faragonda. Especially when she came in order to keep herself quiet. (I have half a mind to write this (at a point where my schedule isn’t so full) so feel free to nudge me if you’d like to read it. ;))

8. Do they hold grudges? Is it hard for them to let go/forgive each other?

They don't really hold grudges. They've learned from the past and they always try to fix what they broke when they calm down enough to think clearly. They don't want to lose the other one again and they can see that when they aren't under the affect of strong emotions.

9. Is there something big that could potentially tear them apart if it was revealed?

No. They know each other inside out and there are no secrets between them.

10. If something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? Is it even possible?

Well, we've already seen this one, haven't we? They can't live without each other even if they sometimes need a little nudge in the right direction to remember that.

11. What’s their favorite pastime when they’re upset?

Griffin reads a book hidden in bed. She'll let Faragonda under the covers and to curl up at her side (sometimes even if it's been Faragonda who upset her). It makes her feel better to feel Faragonda's warmth. Faragonda focuses on helping others when she's upset. She'll come up with ways to make the school experience better for students and teachers alike or she'll be making small gifts for her friends until Griffin goes for an intervention because it's too late and Faragonda has to go to sleep if she wants to have any energy in the morning.

12. Who do they confide in when shit hits the fan (besides each other)?

Faragonda talks to either Griselda or Saladin. They are her closest people after Griffin and she trusts them. Besides, Griselda gives surprisingly good relationship advice and Saladin knows Griffin well enough to help her too.

Griffin talks to Ediltrude and Zarathustra who are supportive even if their ideas aren't exactly the best, considering they can't handle their own arguments. They do put in perspective how much more important the positive is than the negative since they are as close as ever and sometimes they can't even remember what they were arguing about five minutes ago.

13. Is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? If so, is there any way that can be resolved, even in the slightest?

Not really. Any difficulty is coming from the feelings themselves and their own insecurities rather than because they are afraid of the other's reaction. They do their best, though, because they value each other and want to be open and honest.

14. Who grieves more when the other is away?

Griffin is impossible when Faragonda can't be with her for whatever reason. She gets irritable and starts making everyone miserable by turning even more pedantic than usual. Zara and Ediltrude do their best to keep her occupied which sometimes involves lots of wine and chess.

Faragonda definitely handles separation better by doing things that will make her feel closer to Griffin like reading Griffin's favorite book or tending to the plants. It doesn't mean that she doesn't miss her super much, though.

15. Who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more?

They both think about each other a lot, especially when they're stressed out since thinking about the other helps them relax.

16. Do either of them have a special item (an article of clothing, a necklace, a book) that they use when they miss the other? If so, what is it? What do they do with it (read, wear, look at, smell)?

I already said that Faragonda reads the stories Griffin takes to heart to feel closer to her. She also has a necklace that Griffin gave her. It used to be cursed but Griffin broke the curse on it which turned it into a lucky charm. Griffin says the gem used to be black when she first got it but now it's a shade between dark blue and purple and Faragonda loves it. It reminds her of how much Griffin loves her and what she's ready to do for her and she doesn't let it out of her grasp when Griffin isn't there with her.

Griffin has stolen a shirt of Faragonda's that's a little short but too loose for her. She sleeps in it when Faragonda isn't there to hug her. It smells like her and remembers the softness of her skin and is Griffin's lifesaver when Faragonda can't with her.

17. Who cries more? Who gets more emotional in general?

Faragonda shows more of her feelings usually but if there is one person with whom Griffin doesn't mind being emotional, it's Faragonda. Don't tell anyone, but Griffin cries over romantic movies if they are well done. The tenderness touches her, especially when she thinks that she has all of that and more with Faragonda. She also tears up when Faragonda surprises her with a gift or does something sweet for her.

18. Do either of them have the other’s stuff lying around their house?

Yes! Faragonda has practically moved into Griffin's room in Cloud Tower and there are traces of her presence everywhere, making the room even more full of things. Griffin doesn't complain, though. Quite the opposite, in fact. She loves it because it makes the room more cozy and fills it with warmth.

19. How about teasing? Do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)?

I don't think so.

20. Do either of them have any vices?

You mean besides criminal passion for tea and murdering people? Hmm... No, not really. I wouldn't say so.

21. What’s the thing they miss most about each other?

Griffin misses the understanding that she could always count on from Faragonda.

Faragonda misses knowing that she can be herself with Griffin no matter what she wants to do.

22. What’s their go-to breakup/angst song?

Okay, so no actual titles but...

Griffin is a drama queen so she totally listens to a super dramatic song that is also somehow still charged with genuine emotion, though.

Faragonda listents to something slow that is more sad than angry and with a nostalgic vibe.

23. Who’s more jealous?

Griffin is more jealous because of her own insecurities about herself. She sometimes can't understand what Faragonda sees in her and that leaves her vulnerable to jealousy. You don't want to see Faragonda jealous, though. Of course, Griffin never gives her a reason to be jealous but if someone makes a move on Griffin and refuses to take no for an answer, it's not Griffin they need to fear and it is in their best interest not to take it to the point where Faragonda gets involved. She'll take them as a threat to Griffin's safety and they'll get a good idea of why they shouldn't cross an overprotective fairy.

24. Who is the first to forgive?

Depends really. Griffin has gotten a lot better at figuring out her feelings and realizing Faragonda is more important to her than pride so sometimes it can be her who comes around faster.

25. What’s the one deal breaker for either of them (lack of communication, fear of commitment, etc)?

I think they both would end things if they felt the other didn't respect them and didn't listen to them. There is no possibility for any of that to happen between them, though.

26. Who would take longer to let go? do they ever really “let go”?

Let go of each other? Hahahaha... NO!

27. Who is more afraid of confrontation?

After what they've been through, they're both afraid of confrontation which doesn't mean they don't argue.

28. Who’s the first to distance themselves (if either)?

Honestly, they don't distance themselves from the other until the argument is over since Griffin is too stubborn and Faragonda doesn't want to give the impression that she's walking away from her even if it would be better for them to just stop fighting and give themselves time to calm down. After they're done yelling, they both isolate themselves until they can get a grip on their emotions and thoughts.

29. Who’s more patient? Is it hard to break that patience?

Faragonda is more patient which just annoys Griffin more sometimes when they are in a fight and she does everything she can to break Faragonda's patience and make her explode. It's an angrier version of Faragonda's preference to have Griffin get her anger out but it's rather done of aggression since Griffin can't stand the thought she's the only one who's so mad and acting like a bitch while Faragonda is patient with her. It makes her even more of a bitch but that doesn't really register until after the deed is done. Faragonda gets hurt by Griffin trying to make things worse because she knows Griffin is self-sabotaging. They've talked about it and Griffin does her best to stop that behavior but it still gets the best of her sometimes.

30. Who’s the first to blame themselves?

I mean... It's obviously Griffin. She has a terrible track record of bad judgment so she's afraid it's all her fault. Faragonda has a better grasp on what she could've done better but didn't. And she also prefers to focus her efforts on not making the same mistakes rather than on blame.

31. Who’s more likely to do something out of spite?

Definitely Griffin. When she's angry, she doesn't really think what she's doing. She has learned to be a little more controlled, though, even when she's being stubborn.

32. Who would be the first to say they hate the other? Would they mean it?

Griffin could say it if she's really reached her boiling point but the moment it leaves her mouth she nearly claps her hands over it and her eyes are wide with terror because she didn't mean it. Her reaction tells Faragonda that but she still gets upset sometimes because it hurts to hear it even when Griffin doesn't mean it. Somewhat atypically, Griffin's focus is on reassuring Faragonda and apologizing instead of blaming herself for letting herself say that. She will reach a point of blaming herself of course but later. At that moment Faragonda is more important.

33. Who worries more?

Faragonda worries more about Griffin and whether she's fine at any given moment.

Griffin is the one who worries more she'll do something that will push Faragonda away. Especially considering her behaviour when she gets too emotional to think.

34. What scent reminds them of the other?

The scent of baked cookies reminds Faragonda of Griffin.

Griffin associates Faragonda with a particular tea that Faragonda introduced her to and it just so happens to be her favorite so she gets reminded of Faragonda every time she drinks it which is super often.

35. Do they have any regrets (regarding the other, or just in general)?

Have you met Griffin? Of course she has regrets. About the whole story with the Coven and the Trix. And of course, the years she spent not talking to Faragonda.

Faragonda also regrets the silent treatment episode and that it took her so long to accept who she was because of the way her family reacted when they found out she was a fairy. She was relieved to finally know why she always felt like she was out of place but there was hidden self-hatred for not being what she was supposed to be.

36. Who’s quicker to walk away if a situation gets heated?

Faragonda will try to end the fight but as for walking away, I don't think she'd do that. (Already wrote about that in one of the previous answers.)

37. Who is more prone to anger?

Is this really a question? Griffin is more prone to anger but you really shouldn't underestimate Faragonda when she's angry.

38. Who cries more in an argument? Do either of them cry?

Not really. If something that's said actually hurts them a lot either one of them will cry (though, Griffin will do her best not to because pride, of course).

39. Does it take a lot for it to get to the point of yelling?

Actually, yes. They have been friends for so long that the respect for each other is rooted deeply in them and they rarely raise their voice at each other (despite me using the term "yelling" in a couple of questions).

40. Who sleeps on the couch? Can either of them sleep without the other?

Since Faragonda mostly stays at Griffin's room she doesn't leave after a fight because she doesn't want Griffin to feel like she's abandoning her. She'd only leave if Griffin asked her to which has never happened. Griffin may not be talking to her currently but she won't ask her to leave their bed. Besides, in the morning Griffin always ends up pressed against Faragonda even if she's kept her distance the previous night.

41. Who’s more likely to protect the other?

Both of them with Faragonda being just a tad more protective. She knows Griffin can take care of herself but she wants to take care of her because she knows what Griffin puts herself through sometimes with her thoughts so she wants to show her how much she cares about her. If that means fighting through monsters or fairy hunters for her, then so be it.

42. If one of them gets injured, who worries more?

Faragonda is fretting more over Griffin but Griffin freaks out more.

43. Who would be more afraid of the other’s death/harm?

Um... Both?! It's like a major fear for both, considering all the shit they go through all the time.

44. Who ends up yelling first? Are they always yelling when arguing, or do neither of them yell at all?

Hard to say. As the fight gets more heated, they may start raising their voices, and when one is at the volume considered yelling, the other is just a step behind so... It doesn't really matter that much.

45. Who would be more likely to save who?

Some of these questions are so similar to each other.

I don't think they save one another. More like they save themselves together. Have you seen their convergence? That shit is powerful.

46. Who stays up at night brooding?

That would be Griffin. Faragonda prefers to do her brooding during the day.

47. Who has more dreams/nightmares about the other?

Eh, hard to say. Going back to the question about who worries more (since worry often manifests in dreams through symbolism), it could be either. Griffin's nightmares are more negative when it comes to herself since her worries include would-be guilt (if that nakes sense to you).

48. Who comforts who after a bad dream/event?

They both comfort each other. Sometimes even without knowing it. They both hate waking the other up when they wake with a start at the middle of the night so they just snuggle next to the other and that helps calm them down.

49. Do they think about each other a lot? Does it affect their performance/schoolwork?

Yes and yes. Not often, but it's happened that they can't focus on paperwork when thinking about each other. Which isn't that big of an issue tbh. Griffin is teaching classes, though, so she has to be careful during those because if a spell goes wrong, it can do a lot of harm. She hasn't had an accident so far and she's trying to keep it that way. She did fail a spell or two, though, since she was thinking about Faragonda and that generated positive feelings which made her unable to power her magic enough to perform the spell.

50. If one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? Would it go well? Would the other person take them back?

We've seen this one as well, haven't we? I think Griffin would be the one to come back since Faragonda could hardly make herself leave her. I think it would go well and they'd get back together. They can't really live without each other.

#winx club #winx griffin #winx faragonda #griffin x faragonda #winx headcanons #headcanons #angsty asks #ask #trashcankitty12

5 notes · View notes

ganymedesclock · 5 years

Text

Clockie unpacks: Team Sincline

Well, okay, here it is, it’s time to talk about it.

So, I went through a lot of emotions with season 8. Some of them were disappointment. Some of them were anger. Some of them were happiness, and, some of them were a kind of relief.

The first is the realization that I’ve been kind of putting the show on an idealized pedestal. At first, that was easy- a lot of its issues were minor and easily overlooked in the face of what was overwhelmingly a lot of good. And even in its ending, it did a lot of good.

But it also did some not so good, and some genuinely frustrating.

And that’s okay. I think ultimately, the verdict is I still like Legendary Defender. It’s been the kicking-off point to get me heavily into the other Voltron continuities and I think out of the continuities I’ve encountered it’s still by far leader of the pack. It did its job getting me to care heavily about all of these characters and a total clown show with no redeeming qualities would not have done that.

That said, it definitely has lobbed the ball right into that particular intense alley where with enough to make me love it, it also has enough to frustrate me and get my little rewriting goblin fingers trembling up a storm, which is about what I’ve been doing in private with my friends since s8 dropped- lots and lots and lots of AUs.

I’m going to be titling and tagging all of these “Clockie Unpacks S8″- specifically referring to me unpacking my thoughts and emotions on the show. This is obviously not meant to be taken as an unbiased judgment from on high, just a dude in his kitty pjs and at some point, other clothes, blogging about cartoons. Also, fair warning, this is gonna have some undertones of bitterness to it; again, I still love the show, but there’s quite a few things they did I am really not wild about.

With that introduction, let’s kick things off. The first topic I’m picking is really, really predictable, because it’s my favorite goshdang characters.

Team Sincline: Ezor, Axca, Lotor, Narti, and Zethrid. Admittedly, this is going to be looking at them from s3 to the end of the show, so, it’s gonna have a lot more than just s8 in it, but, with the show concluding, I want to talk about what I loved and what I didn’t.

The frustrating thing about Team Sincline is that I can go back all the way to s3 and tell that these guys were not intended to make it.

The Lack of Curiosity

Even when we were clearly given the screentime and focus to relate to them, to want them to win, to want them to do well, a certain amount of onscreen attention is not given to how they’re obviously struggling. We know they’re struggling. Their entire thing is they’re a group of disenfranchised minorities within the empire. They act like people who are all quietly used to being desperate, to making cutthroat decisions, from Acxa stonefaced gunning down Lotor (which, sorry, that, was not an act,) to Lotor ultimately getting frustrated at the paladins because he knows it was bad to hurt the colony Alteans, the morality of the action is besides the point, the point is if you didn’t want the cutthroat solution to the problem you shouldn’t have left him in charge, and don’t you show up passing judgment with all of your better resources and actual support after he’s already done the hard work the brutal way-

But as long as they’re Sincline, we just see them in sharp uniforms. We never see Lotor outside of his nice uniform, actually, except when he’s a child.

Lotor has a crew besides the generals, but, we never hear who they are. We just assume a significant part of the empire followed him into exile, even when in practice, we can assume the two fleets Acxa dismissively sets up to be bait for Voltron in s3e3 weren’t any of theirs. Are these more half-galra? Why would they wear standard imperial uniforms? There’s so many questions about how Lotor got half the resources he did, and where he got them, considering he was so obviously cut off from support and holding colonies. If he did obtain other territories for fiscal support, why didn’t he or the generals run to any of them when things went downhill?

The generals themselves have no backstory. Sure, there are implications- all the parallels drawn between Acxa and Keith-

(though Krolia’s comment in s6e2 that Keith was the most important thing to her would seem a bit condemning to the idea she had another child, unless she somehow assumes her daughter is dead, and is thus excluding her on those grounds, much like she would exclude her husband who she knows is dead- likewise, Keith never sees a second child, unless Acxa was born afterwards, meaning Krolia was pregnant when she left and was unaware, which might explain why she didn’t return to Earth to leave Acxa behind, if her pregnancy was only discovered once she was already undercover and there wasn’t an easy way to make the baby disappear back to Earth where she’d be safe)

-there’s Kythra which is brought up as a setting and Te-Osh openly shoved in our faces so we can see how obvious it is Zethrid is galra-kythran, a connection that never appears to go anywhere, not with Te-Osh, and not with Kythra as a planet. We don’t even seem to have any more Kythrans in the coalition even though they help Pidge in her search in s4e2.

There’s Ranveig’s superweapon, which, especially in the technopathy it manifests, strongly resembles Narti and makes it pretty likely where she came from.

And there’s one of the pirates in s7 and s8 who’s seemingly the same galra-unknown that Ezor is, possibly a relative of hers.

But these stories aren’t explored. I’m not saying we needed full backstory episodes from all of them- runtime is limited (although, frankly, why would you introduce these characters and never go into who they are)- but we needed something. Hell, if nothing else, it would’ve been nice to mention and acknowledge Narti’s existence sometime after s4. She became something to condemn Lotor over, and, then, everyone forgot about her, evidently; the paladins never ask about that one with no eyes that gave them so much trouble, they never even have to face or deal with her incredible power.

And especially when we discover Kova was basically Lotor’s only childhood friend, this should have massively recontextualized his relationship with Narti that he would give Kova to her as her attendant. It should’ve meant something serious and concerning that he would just leave Kova behind without a second thought even if we somehow have assumed that Lotor wouldn’t grieve Narti.

Frankly, it should have meant something serious that he’d cut Narti down in the first place, but we have so little answers on how Haggar was able to affect Narti. Yes, we can speculate, especially about the riftbugs and Ranveig’s superweapon, but the thing is, this plot hole shouldn’t be here where we as an audience need to fill it. Did Lotor assume Narti was a willing traitor? Has Haggar done this to him before? Could she have killed Narti on her own?

These questions aren’t answered. And, as a result, the dissolution of Team Sincline feels kind of contrived.

Why did they fall apart?

In s3, it’s clear the Generals are completely trusting of Lotor. Even when that’s called into question, they clearly miss him and want him back. Before s4e3, it seems like nothing’s taboo or uncomfortable for them; and four for four, these are cautious, smart, calculating people. They do not trust blindly. As far as VLD’s own rules about solidarity, trust, and open emotional exchange, Team Sincline does everything right in its first season.

Lotor is emotionally transparent to the generals. Not just in the sense of which plans he tells them about in detail and involves them in the formation of (the majority of them) but that he makes his entire thought process clear to them, to the point that in many ways, they’re comfortable and confident in their ability to read Lotor.

The times that they’re unable to read him, and are shocked by his behavior, frankly doesn’t even work as a contrast to this- because when Lotor surprises them, it’s because these sentiments genuinely are coming out of left field.

The Lotor that screams he’s going to get rid of all of the galra is not talking about a long-term plan, and this is pretty obvious given how earlier in the exact same season, he pulls this face when Allura talks about how they need to protect occupied galra planets. Keep in mind this is Allura- someone who Lotor unambiguously admires and adores.

Keep in mind Allura’s heroic and compassionate nature is pretty clearly one of the things Lotor admires about her.

This is a guilty reaction. This is someone who’s agreeing with Allura’s assessment that they morally have to respond to the Omega Shield- whose objection against it was not that he didn’t want to, but that he suspected it was a trap.

If Lotor’s endgame goal was to make the Alteans into an army and use them to kill the galra, none of his behavior makes any sense. However, if that was never Lotor’s endgame goal but something he landed on in a combination of desperation and power high because he’s been kicked so many times in his ability to trust that frankly the idea that just getting rid of everyone so he can finally, finally stop feeling personally betrayed by everything he gets close to starts to look like an appealing option- makes total sense to his behavior.

And I can’t fault Ezor for being scared of that side of him once it rears its head. Lotor’s breakdown at the end of s6 is not pretty at all, and after Narti’s fate, the generals are all unsure whether or not the Lotor they know is real (though we as an audience have all the evidence it is) or if he’s just been a very successful conman. They’re all, as much as he is, vulnerable people in a bad bargaining position. They’re all going to be anxiously hypervigilant that they weren’t just suckered by someone they felt like they could trust for years.

I can’t blame Acxa and Allura for talking about him the way they do.

I can blame the narrative, however, for giving them those words, for giving them those situations, that response, and never challenging it.

In s8, we do a lot of mooning over Lotor’s fate. In s8 we’re given the most sympathetic flashbacks to Lotor’s lifetime of abuse, neglect, and how many times his legs were basically cut out from under him, how many times he lost everything and had to start over from scratch at Zarkon’s whim, and all the scar tissue that built up psychologically for him.

However, all that s8 mooning is exclusively for Honerva’s benefit. Lotor’s long gone, and they went out of their way to show us, grotesquely, exactly how far gone and not coming back he is. The generals aren’t there. The main time Lotor talks is as a puppet for the riftbug playing on Allura’s lingering guilt and lost love.

This is pretty significant considering Sincline- the symbol of this team, the unity of what they could accomplish together- is stolen by Honerva, puppeted, and then assimilated into her machine.

The feeling is these people were conceived in s3 specifically to be disposed of. They were born to die. Their downfall was planned from the start, and that is the explanation for the lack of curiosity.

I’ve seen the argument raised that they’re supposed to contrast Voltron in terms of their dissolution but if you want to explore a failed team in contrast to our heroes... we already have that, perfectly tailored to the role in a way that Sincline is not remotely. A team whose failure is written in the stars from the moment we clap eyes on them, and whose downfall moves enormous pieces of the plot:

The paladins of old.

If we really wanted to write a drama about the dissolution of Team Voltron, they were right there. We know before we meet Gyrgan, Trigel, and Blaytz that all of these people are dead. We even get to see them in the finale. And they’re, of the three groups of paladins we see, the ones who aren’t underdogs. They were sovereigns of occupied planets. They were confident, bold, enthusiastic about the future and they had very little to fear.

There’s stories to tell there, but, ultimately, they’re the least compelling- what makes them interesting is that sense of a forgotten golden age, the way they were lost to time, and lost to Zarkon’s ambition.

Conversely, Team Sincline is basically a group of vulnerable minorities holding onto each other in the dark. Even when they’re introduced confidently and dramatically...

...We see them stealing around central command like thieves. When they move publicly, they move together; when they talk, it’s lurking around in darkened corners, privately discussing how their duplicity of the larger empire is going well.

These are vulnerable people. Even at the top of their game, they cannot afford making their sentiments open publicly. And even in public, Lotor’s speech to the empire is all about its maltreatment of minorities. It’s all about the underside of their boot, and the people ground into dust beneath it, because it’s a defining characteristic of Lotor, and of the generals, that they are the people who’ve been under the empire’s boot this entire time. They contrast the paladins and Allura as people who’ve been heavily affected by the empire’s cruelty, but largely, distantly, or in ways that did not define their life from the cradle. Even Shiro, who was actually brought into the empire’s hierarchy, only endured that hell for a single year before Ulaz rescued him and got him out of there, and he had a stable childhood and supportive environment to get him through it.

Team Sincline has nothing but each other. And then, starting with s4e3, we see them lose that. Peeled away, layer by layer by layer, as they get more miserable, more desperate, and continue stealing, continue bartering, losing more and more as they keep trying to find some way to make it work because these are people who’ve learned a long time ago their tears are meaningless and the only comfort they have is what they can find in the cracks.

There’s really nothing interesting about their downfall. It’s just sad. And frankly the reason why I was so sure this was going to turn around was the sense that they can’t just leave it like this. They wouldn’t just kill Narti with no saving grace and leave her body there in a way that doesn’t affect the plot at all, even to the end that they want it to- that she could easily have just been there with the other generals and parted ways with Lotor when they did. They wouldn’t just have Lotor lose all his friends one more time. They wouldn’t just take all of this amazing room to grow and explore these characters and flush it down the toilet to achieve basically nothing.

And? If I’m honest? They did.

3/5ths of a happy afterthought

I initially thought people were kidding when they said The Grudge looked like they planned for Ezor to have died in s7e3 and Zethrid perish in an attempt at revenge but oh boy howdy. Sure there could be innocent reasons they didn’t have Kimiko Glenn there in s8- it’s not like all the times they’ve changed Acxa’s VA mean they were planning to off her- but everything about that episode makes what I dismissed as a conspiracy theory sound a lot more plausible.

Zethrid is not a vengeful person. We see from as early as her first appearance that she has a soft spot for small animals and children. She can be talked down from killing people very easily, she likes to fight but talks up fighting worthy opponents- she’s happiest cutting her teeth against something big and strong like her that can hold its own.

Her motivation is also, overwhelmingly, that of a Yellow Paladin. There’s a reason she’s so clearly Hunk’s counterpart. “I will always protect you, Ezor.” We can actively see in s7e3 that when the blast goes off, Zethrid tries to shield Ezor with her own body.

The heartbroken Zethrid we see in The Grudge, not quite taking care of herself, full of anger and bitterness and down to just wanting to make someone else hurt as much as she is- really could only have happened logically if Ezor had died. If Zethrid had felt like she’d failed as a protector for the last time, and was hitting a similar wall to Lotor himself- where after so many people dying or otherwise being lost she just couldn’t take it any more and gave up on trying.

In her post- grudge negotiations with the team, Zethrid is levelheaded and calm. Before being reunited with Ezor, she just looks empty and tired.

The person who’s always been the vindictive one is Ezor, and I don’t say that to demonize Ezor and depict Zethrid as saintly.

Ezor has an obvious edge to her, and, out of Team Sincline, she’s also the one who voices the most doubts and fears. She talks about the fun in torturing someone, and, behind the scenes, she also talks about being personally terrified that they’re going to be hunted down. She’s the one basically panicking as soon as Narti’s body hits the floor, she’s the one who’s anxious at Acxa shooting Haggar (“did you kill her?”)

Ezor is a brittle person- a lot of broken edges and anxiety. This is why The Grudge seems like an odd reversal in roles. If anyone would get overly preoccupied with getting even to the point of losing sight of themselves, it’d be Ezor. If anyone would be the person willing to bargain with enemies because this has gone too far and they’re scared of something going wrong and happening to hurt the other person, it’d be Zethrid. Zethrid who’s always defined herself as Ezor’s protector.

Now, again, being fair, it really does seem like they were backing off from a version of The Grudge that featured a dead Ezor and Zethrid either going to die or simply give up and remain in custody afterwards. But again, it comes back to this sense that Team Sincline suffers a huge amount in a way that doesn’t seem to narratively accomplish much or be particularly meaningful.

When the timeskip happens, Acxa and Matt grow their hair out. Earth builds its way up to a superpower on the footing with other planets and fights Sendak for survival.

Zethrid loses an eye and Ezor an entire leg, which s8 chases with a disfiguring scar for Zethrid and a missing eye for Ezor, too.

Now, I’m all for disability representation. Thing is, if that’s the angle they were going for, they could have started Team Sincline out with these grievous injuries. Hell, you could argue there’s potential evidence Ezor’s had a prosthetic leg all along- after all, in s5e2, she’s able to parry Shiro’s laser prosthetic with her leg and it would contextualize a lot of her fearful attitude and that she’s both romantically and in other ways drawn to Zethrid, who’s probably the warmest and most protective person out of Team Sincline.

As far as an “afterthought”.... Acxa sort of fades into the background in many ways after she starts working with the paladins. Someone who has been incredibly driven, who most clearly seems to follow Lotor out of a sense of higher purpose and something to believe in became a drifter who shows up to help the paladins and then wanders off to the coalition. She doesn’t even accompany them to Earth to help with the journey.

And then there’s their scene in the aftermath. Ultimately, the three surviving members of Team Sincline take their scars and injuries and join the Blade. They become Keith’s subordinates. Is this satisfying for them? Unsatisfying? Hard to say, since we know very little about their past and motivations. Zethrid probably likes taking care of people, but, is this the way she’d want to do that?

Narti stays dead. Maybe she somehow picked herself up, made an Altean suit, cut her tail off and became Matt’s helmeted girlfriend, but, considering how much of a ridiculous speculative long shot that is, I’m not going to cite that to canon’s credit.

Lotor stays dead, and, much like Narti’s death- so much of what led up to Lotor’s demise is rather poorly explained. We don’t know why Lotor harvested the colony, or what his intentions were, or if he planned to heal the podded Alteans, or even how Bandor escaped. With so many unknowns on the table, and so many things left open, we’re left feeling unsatisfied- like, maybe this whole thing could have been avoided, maybe the response was reasonable, we just get the shock- either of Lotor killing Narti or the sight of the lab- and then we’re urgently bustled forwards without analyzing the situation.

Not only that, but his afterlife ghost passed up Allura- his love- and Alfor- his personal hero- to have a loving heart to heart with both of his abusers.

Here’s the thing. Honerva never apologized. She said ‘he deserved better’ after having spent centuries watching him suffer and not just sitting on her hands but actively making it worse. Honerva, the one who has so much to say about her own suffering, has no possible way she could’ve been unaware of Lotor’s misery and the effect she was having on it. No matter what Being Haggar did to her, which seems largely a factor of disorientation and amnesia, you shouldn’t need to remember that baby came out of your body before you care at all that the person it grew up into has just lost everything while you sit there and watch, having more than enough power to stop this.

Zarkon never apologized to Lotor.

Neither of them made amends. Neither of them did anything that warranted Lotor being kind to them.

Neither of them even needed him for their happy ending. He was frankly just a possession to them. Honerva only ever even seems to consider Lotor’s own feelings at a point when Allura forcibly shows them to her. If we wanted Honerva to be welcomed warmly when she steps into the light, you could easily have had Zarkon waiting for her- because Zarkon loved her, because it would give her life a cyclic sense of closure from how we see in s3e7, that Zarkon and Haggar began what happened to them hand in hand, together, and they could end the same way.

We know for a fact Zarkon would be happy to see her. This is even further vindicated in the “happy family” alternate reality- Zarkon’s the one who’s ready to take this woman in as his lost wife with open arms, while Lotor is the one holding back, wary, anxious, “that’s not my mother.”

The only reason that’s unacceptable to Honerva is because Honerva doesn’t want to respect Lotor’s feelings, she wants Lotor to flatter hers. She has major entitlement problems to Lotor, and the finale makes him a prop for her welfare.

That ‘walk into the light’ scene could have been a lot more palatable if they’d simply put Lotor on Alfor’s other side, and had Zarkon alone doing the sweet hand clasp with Haggar.

But that’s our last note on Lotor- the idea that he’s going to be spending whatever afterlife they have here with his abusers. Lotor didn’t get anything he wanted.

And Narti? We don’t even know what she wanted, just that she trusted Lotor, and that somehow, when Team Sincline does trust, it leads to their total dissolution. Sincline itself is gone, having never once actualized. Lotor’s dead, Narti’s dead, and Haggar went ahead and murdered Kova.

The three survivors firmly set that chapter of their life behind them, discarded the Sincline uniforms, became Blades, and, evidently, spent the rest of their lives handing out relief packages to war-torn planets.

I don’t want to take a dump on relief workers here. Humanitarian work is beautiful and important and heroic. But in practice, how they framed it in that show is an afterthought. They’re not suffering but what they’re doing doesn’t really have a sense it’s personally meaningful to them.

I might be unsatisfied with some of the endings VLD did for its main characters, but at least they’re recognized as heroes and get to stay together, or, in the one area that’s not the case, say goodbye and be remembered fondly. But I think Team Sincline absolutely got the rawest deal here, and that’s on a list that includes Alfor, Gyrgan, Trigel, and Blaytz being frozen as corrupted mindscape ghosts for ten thousand years.

Additional Notes: Sincline-Adjacent Figures

I mentioned Lotor’s crew earlier, and, the thing is, there’s a perfect answer within canon for who Lotor’s crew beneath the generals could have been.

What highly diverse group of people,

(because Lotor would put his money where his mouth is in more ways than just with the generals)

Would Lotor logically find at the edge of the universe,

(because he had to have built these forces in exile and without imperial support, since he has them at his disposal at the beginning of s3)

Who would be immediately ready and willing to double-cross and otherwise raise merry hell on the empire, to the point of building rift gates and comet ships behind their back,

(because a single person willing to barter what they knew for a pardon could have fucked up Lotor’s entire operation spectacularly)

Who would also be a pool of talent untapped by the empire so Lotor feasibly could get at least some of the best pickings,

(because you don’t want an uneducated clown putting your interreality gate together)

Who would be an interesting and colorful cast of characters to play off of, and loud and rambunctious because they’re not career soldiers, even if they are career fighters-

(thematically contrasting the regimented and heavily classist, stratified empire)

Who would also thematically lend themselves very well to Lotor’s hit-and-run, evasive, deceptive, adaptive underdog tactics?

A group of people who have traditionally been the enemies of the entrenched government and who have often been minorities?

Pirates.

Pirates exactly like the ones who without any explanation for where they came from, were working for Ezor and Zethrid after the timeskip. Pirates who had their own custom uniforms as if they had some reason to have a sense of decorum. Pirates who are already full of interesting and memorable characters like the nosering pirate, Blofar, the armored giant Coran faced, and the smart-aleck Olkari technician.

Lotor literally talks about desegregating the imperial fleet and recruiting people based on the merit of their skills and not how galra they are back in s3e1. And yes, as a half-galra himself employing four other half-galra, it’s not like he’s a hypocrite about that- but it feels like a serious oversight to just give him the standard imperial-armored subordinates and drones.

The pirates should have been Lotor’s crew. They should have been there from the start playing off the generals and off of Lotor, and that would have helped us flesh out Lotor and the generals so much more. Yes, you’d have to make some adjustments to scenes like s3e2′s fighter ship battle to make it clear they were drones and not imply the paladins just massacred a likable bunch of rag-tag pirate antiheroes but all that would take is some acknowledgement that Sincline, like the empire, uses drone-piloted fighter ships.

Hell, it’d give a sense in s3 besides Zethrid’s offhanded reference of pilots going into the rift in s3e4 (presumably also drones since Lotor has no reason to waste manpower and try loyalties making them throw themselves fatally at a rift) that Lotor and the Generals aren’t just doing what they do in an empty ship.

And you know who else could’ve been there?

Ven’tar.

Sure, her people were massacred and her planet burnt to pieces by Zarkon and that was significant to Lotor character-wise- it marked the decisive, keening death of his intention to appease his parents and try to work with them- but Ven’tar could’ve also have taken significance and motivation from that going forwards. it’s her planet, her people, and, it would make it feel a lot less dismissively killed off.

There was someone Lotor trusted leading the “secret team” constructing the inter reality gate. Someone who’d know things about Quintessence, who would again have a grudge on the empire.

I’m saying, rather than a lost lenore, you could make Ven’tar Lotor’s bitter chief engineer. Sure you’d need some explanation for how she’s still alive but this setting has been basically handing out immortality like candy to a bunch of its secondary cast but I feel like they could narratively find a reason for Ven’tar to be alive.

While we’re at it, you could also have had Dayak there (the one from s6, not the slightly inexplicable other one from s8 given the entire way Lotor introduces s6 Dayak never once implies that the word “Dayak” is not a name, which, the best explanation I’ve heard for that one is that “Dayak” is a surname and the s8 one is the s6 one’s sister) since she’s so obviously enthusiastic about Lotor taking the throne and standing by him, there’s not really a reason she’d hide out until it was safe and then fair-weather return to Lotor’s side when she’s such an aggressive and forwards person about her opinions and what she stands for.

There’s so much to work with, here. We could have explored so much of this. They put this tantalizing information on the table, and, then, just sort of pushed it to the floor without considering it.

#voltron legendary defender #vld #season 8 #Clockie Unpacks S8 #readmore #long post

242 notes · View notes