#even if this is not real then it's still funny

[spaceman-earthgirl]

“Did you see this?” Lena asks, holding her phone out towards Kara. “It’s about your cousin.”

Kara’s instantly worried. If there’s a news article about Clark, there’s only two things it could be. One, he’s been in a big fight or something else dangerous has happened, or if it’s about Clark, and not Superman, then that could only spell bad news for Clark and his secret identity.

Kara’s heart actually stops for a moment when she sees “Clark Kent” in the headline, but lets out a sigh of relief when she realises it’s not a Daily Planet article, but an article from an online gossip magazine.

Lois Lane and Clark Kent, Metropolis’s Hottest New Couple?

Kara quickly scans the article, which is nothing but gossip, and two photos, one of Clark and Lois holding hands, another of the couple leaning close at a restaurant.

Kara smiles as she hands the phone back to Lena. Despite the lack of privacy some papparazi have, Kara is happy for her cousin.

“So, it’s true then?”

Kara nods. “It is. Clark called me last week. He was so happy they’re soulmates. Anyone with eyes could see they belong together but it’s nice to have it confirmed.”

And nice for Kara too. She’d always wondered if it was still possible that she could have a soulmate, one not from Krypton.

Turns out it is.

“That’s-“ Lena cuts herself off. “Wait, confirmed? What do you mean?”

Kara’s eyes widen as she realises her slip. She’s thought about telling Lena in so many different ways, at so many different times. But fear has always stopped her. What if she told Lena the truth, what if they kissed, and she finds out Lena isn’t her soulmate?

Kara’s never felt this way about anyone before, doesn’t think she could ever feel like this about anyone else either.

“I…do you believe in soulmates?” Kara asks, stalling slightly.

“No.” Lena replies. “Or I didn’t, until you just implied that soulmates are real.”

read the rest on ao3 or under the cut

Kara sighs. There’s no getting out of this. “They’re not real, at least not on Earth. Or not usually. Lois is the only human I’ve seen or heard of that has a soulmate. Clark and Lois are soulmates. All Kryptonian’s have one.”

“Are you…” Lena narrows her eyes. “You’re being serious?”

Kara nods. “The legend goes that Rao picks your soulmate, the person whose soul matches yours, the one most suited to you. But he doesn’t tell you who it is, you have to find that person yourself.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, they just find each other.” Kara had lost hope, with no one but her cousin left on Earth. But then she’d found Lena. Even before Clark had told her about Lois, she’d wondered if Lena could be her soulmate. “And then after your first kiss, a mark appears on your skin with their name, and that’s how you know they’re the one.”

Kara can see Lena’s mind working. “Does that mean Clark and Lois now have the other’s name written on each other?”

Kara laughs. “Yes. It was actually pretty funny when Clark called me, he’d had to explain to a very confused Lois why she now had a tattoo of Clark’s name.”

“So, you have to kiss someone to know?”

Kara nods. “I’m not sure why. I think it gives you a chance to get to know someone before you find out you’re destined to be together.”

“Have you found your soulmate?”

Kara shakes her head, though it feels wrong when she’s pretty sure her soulmate is right in front of her. Not that she knows for sure. “Not yet.”

“Do you wonder, every time you kiss someone, that they’ll be the one?”

“Yes and no. When I was younger, I’d hoped, just to prove I wasn’t alone. Sometimes I know they’re not the one, but now I know there’s someone out there for me, and I just have to wait.”

Lena lets out a little laugh. “I guess it puts more pressure on a first kiss, like there isn’t enough already.”

Kara laughs too. “It really does.” She can’t help but wonder, that without this extra pressure, whether she would have already told Lena how she feels.

“Who knows,” Lena says, still smiling. “It could even be me.”

Kara chokes on nothing. The hand that appears at Kara’s back, soothing up and down as Kara tries to catch her breath, doesn’t help at all.

“It…it could be,” Kara finally manages to get out.

Lena looks amused, clearly enjoying Kara’s struggle, and Kara suddenly wants to do nothing more than kiss that look off of Lena’s face.

Lena shrugs. “We’ve never kissed so you never know.”

“I haven’t kissed a lot of people,” Kara points out unnecessarily. “It could be any of them too.” She’s not sure why she says it, except for the fact she wants to point the focus of the conversation away from Lena and kissing.

“Well, you’re not getting any younger, you need to start crossing people off that list.”

Kara rolls her eyes and suddenly everything feels back to normal, she’s just talking to her best friend, the person besides Alex she trusts most in the universe.

“Are you hungry, we could-“ Kara starts, assuming the conversation is over, at least for now, until Kara can work up the courage to tell Lena how she feels, but Lena isn’t done.

“Kara,” Lena cuts in, looking suddenly serious. “I don’t know if I’m way off here but I know I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about this.” Lena reaches out and takes Kara’s hand and Kara’s breath catches in her chest. “Please tell me you feel this too? Please tell me I’m not the only one who’s fallen in love with their best friend? I didn’t even believe in soulmates before today but I’ve always believed we found each other for a reason, that we belong together. And maybe this is why.”

There are tears in Lena’s eyes by the time she finishes talking and Kara’s own heart is racing as she reaches up to catch a tear before it spills down Lena’s cheek.

And then she doesn’t even think as she leans forward, capturing Lena’s lips in a kiss she’s dreamt about too many times to count.

Lena’s breath catches as their lips meet and now Kara’s crying too as Lena’s hand grips her shirt, holding her close.

The kiss is brief, only because Kara’s forgotten something crucial and she has to tell Lena. “I love you, too,” Kara says as she pulls back, the words brushing Lena’s mouth as she does.

Kara’s whole body is on fire as green eyes meet hers, still so close. Kara doesn’t even need to look down to where her arm is tingling, to know that Lena’s her soulmate. She’s pretty sure deep down she’s known since she first laid eyes on her.

With great effort she does look away from Lena, only because she wants to show Lena the words now written on her skin.

Kara pulls up her sleeve and there it is, in black ink, undeniable against her tan skin. There is Lena’s name, and Kara is crying again.

“That’s going to be tough to hide,” Lena says, and it’s meant to be a joke but it comes out too breathless to be anything but awe. Lena lifts her hand, runs her fingers gently over the name, and Kara’s knees go weak.

“Do you…” Kara asks, because now she wants to see it, needs to see her name on Lena’s skin too.

Lena turns, and she must have had the same feeling as Kara because she lifts up her shirt and there it is, low on Lena’s back, ‘Kara Zor-El’ written clear as day.

Kara reaches out, thumb ghosting over the spot her name is written.

“It is there?” Lena asks, voice filled with such hope that Kara places her hands on her arms, spins her gently until they’re facing each other again.

“Yes.” Kara lifts her hands, cups Lena’s cheek, thumbs catching more tears as they fall. They both know they’re happy tears. “I love you,” Kara repeats, because she can now. She’s going to say it so many times, Lena will get sick of it.

“I love you, too,” Lena repeats, her smile so bright Kara’s knees go weak again. And then Lena leans forward and kisses her again and Kara is lucky she manages to stay upright because Lena’s mouth feels so right and perfect against her own.

---

Two days later, in the CatCo gossip column, there’s a picture of the two of them kissing in Noonan’s, with the title:

Lena Luthor and Kara Danvers, National City’s Hottest New Couple?

#supergirl #kara danvers #lena luthor #supercorp #supercorp fanfic

[yuri-is-online]

Hi hi so can we have an expansion of middle school Floyd completely being his unfiltered self around yuu (maybe even octotrio going like "Oh please don't believe that merculture is like this" because middle school Floyd is embarrassing them in front of their crush) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Hmmm

So Floyd says morays are cowards right, but my experiences with little kids tell me that they don't always have the best sense of self-preservation. I picture little Floyd as one of those kids on crack. He thinks this human is cute! Especially because they don't have the sense to be afraid of him at all and are calling him cute, that's real funny. What if he just takes a big chomp outta ya, will you still think he's cute? As for the embarrassment, well...

Azul

It comes from how blunt little Floyd is.

He's got even less patience for Azul's plans than big Floyd does, and the complete inability to see the value of waiting for the pay off. He's actively getting angry at him and throwing temper tantrums every time Azul tries to smooth things over with Yuu.

"No you can't get the ability to breathe underwater from kissing a mermaid Floyd is making that up. And no not all merfolk are obsessed with legs that's just a him thing-"

"Nah Azul really likes your legs and pretty much everything you do with them!" Little Floyd is loud enough that other people than just you are looking at him in confusion (Azul is convinced it is overwhelming judgment) because he's choking on a mixture of spit and air because how did he pick up on that already?!? Azul thinks he's so subtle when he admires you, he's got to be so you don't think he's weird.

He can't wait for this to be over, he can handle being made fun of by the twins now since they've got a good rapport and he can give as good as he gets but little Floyd is like a sea otter with a clam, he just won't let this go because he thinks octopus courtship is boring and he's not above saying that. Outloud. In front of you.

Jade

It's from how willing he is to throw Jade under the bus.

Floyd knows Jade pretty well, even if it's a younger version of him so he knows just how down bad stupid Jade is within 15 seconds and he is determined to "help."

Said help is mostly just humming a very specific song while swimming around you in circles and doing little tricks to "set the mood." Or asking you what you think about Jade when he thinks he's out of earshot, something he's never once been since little Floyd got summoned.

He thought this would be fun, Floyd is always so delightfully unpredictable and now there's two of him! But instead of bothering Azul he's decided to torture Jade and ruin his carefully cultivated image instead. He sort of gets why Azul was so determined to get rid of all his childhood photos now, you're never going to look at him the same after this.

When his efforts don't work because Jade is too much of a coward little Floyd starts just telling you a bunch of stuff they got up to as kids in an effort to embarras him. It clearly works from how quick Jade is to shove him to the side but you're polite enough to keep the laughter to a minimum. For the most part

Floyd

It comes from how much of a coward he is.

Floyd is waiting for the right time to speak with you, when he's extra sure that you feel the same as he does. When he knows you'll accept everything he wants to give you and more.

But no. Little him has to say everything that comes into his mind. "Are your legs soft? Why are you leaking seawater? Do all humans really only have ten toes and can I count them-"

If you find this funny, I think it might depress him somewhat. He wants you to see all the ways he's smart and not brush him off as an unserious joke. If you think it's cute, well that's a mix of emotions. He doesn't want you to see him as cute now, but it's ok if you find morays cute, and even nicer if you find baby morays cute. That thought alone perks him up.

Until little Floyd starts telling Yuu he thinks they're cute. Then he gets possessive and starts competing with himself like a looser. Probably by picking Yuu up and carrying them away since his legs are longer and he can get away faster.

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #floyd leech x reader #jade leech x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #I'm writing this on my phone so apologies if there's any typos #I'm thinking about getting soup #or pizza #... probably just gonna have some cereal though

[moondirti]

sorry to the soft simon lovers but i am fixating on the idea of him being too abrasive for greater society. no, hear me out. he can't be normal after what he’s been through. after what he's done.

cw: dead dove. sadism. inferred sexism and stalking. punitive harassment. idk guys he's gross. 18+ MDNI

he's just a little too odd, grim, ugly, cruel, rude. he stares too long and makes jokes that strike the wrong chord in most. he's into things that are not as sexual as they are humiliating to his partners, and can not be satisfied by any relationship his therapist would deem as healthy. even physically, he's torn in all the wrong places. his scars aren’t rugged but almost painful to look at. his hands are huge and calloused and 60 grit sandpaper against soft skin. his nose is crooked. his hair is shorn short. he has a mean smile, watery eyes.

the one thing keeping him from being completely ostracised is the flag on his arm, the one he fights for. but it's like putting a tarp over some horrible, disfigured mess – you can still see the general shape of it underneath. most shrug it off as fine, go figure. you teach a soldier to kill and they cope by being killers. it's funny because simon's issues began way before he enlisted – he spoors it back to conception, when his father gave him a part of himself that can never be scoured clean. the military is just where he resides to conceal the stink of miasma he'll never rid of. piss over piss. putting a reason to the barbarity.

for a while, it's enough. he sticks to the corners. for all his sadism, he's not keen on subjecting the general public to his complications. he's smart enough to separate good from what makes him feel good. he only interacts with others like him – price, mostly, who's better at playing pretend but has issues that bury their roots just as deep. or maybe he's able to see simon for what he really is, and the novelty of not having to bite his tongue is enough to form a gossamer bridge of friendship. he sleeps with masochists who don't know what's good for them, all of them men (though it never pays when they're into what he's inflicting). in between missions, he'll disappear to his shitty apartment that he pays for in cash and drink himself to oblivion as he scrolls through a deprecating XXX site.

if he gets inebriated enough, he'll open up tinder and swipe through the birds advertising themselves, as if he were the holy arbitrator of what's attractive. safe because he made it so that no one would match with him; his profile is blank. no bio, no age. Riley as his first name and a picture of a shutterstock german shepherd because having one photo was a requirement.

the lifestyle probably exacerbates his problems.

maybe that's why he reaches a point of no return when he gets a text late one night. he doesn't give his number to anyone, so the only app it could be from–

your dog's cute. what's his name?

it's to his sloshed astonishment that someone swiped right on him. not even him, but a barebones, dodgy profile he curated to keep everyone at arms length when he chooses to indulge in his destructive habits. you're cute too, suspiciously darling and a whole open book – five pictures, a colourful description and your city of residence. you cannot be short of options, certainly not enough to drive you to a point of desperation, so there's no mistaking what this is.

you're setting up a little pet project. something to bat at like a cat does a ball of yarn, with no intention to commit or ever see him in real life. perhaps you chose him because there’s nowhere to go but up. or because his disinterest seems glaringly obvious, and a simple risk assessment told you that you wouldn't suffer an obsessive stalker if you ever chose to ghost him.

unfortunately for you, that couldn't be further from the truth. that simple question is enough to push him over the edge.

he's tired of holding back.

#tldr: what if big man falls for girl who wants nothing to do with him #revolutionary i know #simon riley #ghost #simon 'ghost' riley #x reader #tw stalking #tw noncon #ddne #simon 'ghost' riley x reader

[thatonegaybrit]

; you ever just stare at yourself in the mirror a little too long and suddenly your transmasc ??? lh/srs

#queer humour #trans humour #lgbtqia+ #nonbinary #trans #transgender #transblr #lgbtq #transmasc #transmasculine #funny #real #But not literally #There was much thought behind this #Years of thought even #coming out #right now #genderflir #/ #genderfluid #still #But also transmasc #yay #<3

[klownedmilk]

Slightly baked and thinking about how the ratgrinders would try and fail to find connection with eachother

Kipperlilly sending random pretty images she takes to the group chat but not having the words to strike up a real conversation because she's focused so heavily on succeeding she's forgotten how to really talk. You can't mastermind every conversation you have and it's something she'd struggle with

Mary Ann reacting to messages with hearts and no real reply, shes interested. She knows she is, but she doesn't like to talk all that much, she likes to listen. But all they talk about anymore is the plan

Buddy not knowing how to fit into this dynamic. Texting an enthusiastic "good morning!" Only to occasionally be met with oisin giving him a polite "morning buddy" as if he hadn't seen the other insult him just the day before to ivy.

Ivy doesn't care. She doesn't care. She only frequently texts oisin and there's always this air of "are we going to end up like she did?" She's seen Kipperlilly mourn Lucy, should and could she mourn oisin like that? Or would her sadness beat her rage.

Oisin, oh oisin. Working oh so hard to improve himself and there's still this anger. Anger at what he is and will always be. The descendent of a monster and he couldn't even live up to her successes. He talks to ivy yet dreads the day he betrays her too.

Ruben. By far the loneliest. He checks his phone. Hoping Mary Anns sent him a funny meme or something. Or maybe Wanda went out to find him. Maybe someone wants Ruben. Maybe someone will put in that effort first for him.

A bunch of teens just. Aching to connect with each other but unable too

#the rat grinders #dimension 20 #mary ann skuttle #ivy embra #oisin hakinvar #ruben hopclap #kipperlilly copperkettle #buddy dawn

[iridescentparkers]

lavender haze •.˚⚘ ⋆.*.ゞ

a/n - i thought this was so funny as i was doing this exact thing! no warnings just fluff.

“INFUSED WITH LAVENDER AND CHAMOMILE,” Peter announced in your bathroom, reading the container of your eye gel patches you used before bed each night. “Whatever, these don’t work.”

“Who told you that?” you giggled, using the jade roller to set them on your face as you looked at Peter in the bathroom mirror. 

“Science,” he said confidently, looking at you in the bathroom mirror. “Companies try to fool you with big words and cutesy smells.” 

“Well, these big words and cutesy smells make my eyes less puffy and relax me before bed.” You laughed. 

“You don’t even need this dumb stuff,” he informed, dropping the packaging. “You already look stunning.” 

He stood at your side and wrapped his hand along your waist as he peppered kisses around your face before nuzzling into your neck, “I’m going to get some sleep, and you should start investing in some real sleep remedies.” 

AFTER A LATE NIGHT, you dragged the balls of your high heels to your apartment door, opening it before throwing down your painfully cheap heels that needed to be trashed. 

You were still sober despite the rampant club scene you left and trembling at your bedroom door. 

Swinging the door open, Peter was sleeping deeply on his side of your bed. His suit was still halfway on, and he had barely made it under the covers. He was lying on his stomach, his cheek squished into the pillows, and his mouth hung slightly open.

Giggling to yourself, you sat next to him, rubbing a hand on his back to let him know you were home. Mid circle, you stopped, looking at the bright purple stripes underneath his eyes. 

“What are these,” you whispered, tapping the two lavender stripes. 

He didn’t move but spoke up softly, “Fine, you were right.”

“About?” You asked sarcastically, pursing your lips upwards as his eyes remained shut. 

“I got home at 12 and was headed to bed before I saw them lying on the sink.” He began, opening his eyes and wiping the slight drool before he came to a seated position. “I put these on just to test them out, and I guess.. I passed out.”

He gestured towards the eye patches, and you giggled at his frown accompanied by his tired expression. “It’s just the lavender smell, I swear.” 

You kissed his cheek before moving to your bathroom, “Maybe, just this once, science was wrong after all.”

#peter parker fic #peter parker x reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker fanfiction #peter parker #spiderman x you #peter parker smut #peter parker fandom #iridescent blurbs #peter parker spiderman #peter parker imagine #peter parker au #peter parker fanfic #tasm spiderman #tasm peter parker #tasm!peter parker #tasm!peter x reader #tasm 2 #the amazing spider man #tasm!peter x you #spiderman homecoming #no way home #the amazing spider man x reader #the amazing spider #the amazing spiderman #the amazing spiderman 2 #the amazing spiderman fic

[cloudedgalaxies]

Three Nights Remain

Leona Kingscholar loves sleep more than anything else in Twisted Wonderland. So he is determined to continue sleeping all through the night when he has to host two freshmen crashing in his dorm for taking a rather stupid deal he had nothing to do with. It wasn't his problem.

Yet for some absurd reason, the three nights that the prefect stays in Savanaclaw, he doesn't get a wink.

Second Choice, Last Place

(part one) (part two) (part three) (read on AO3)

Word count: 4.5k

The moment Leona saw one of his freshmen bringing the herbivore and the weasel into his dorm, he knew that it was going to be trouble for him. He tried to avoid it as much as he could. Anything that didn’t involve him wasn’t his business, and wasn’t about to become his when it meant more work added to his plate he kept purposefully empty.

But here he was, watching his dorm get humbled by that very same freshman and strange package deal, where one wasn’t anything more than a pipsqueak and the other didn’t have a drop of magic in him. Here he was, finding that strangely enough, the person he thought would be dead last in a fight seemed oddly good at throwing down when the need arose.

Here he was, in his room, with two extra freeloaders on his couch that were much too loud and much too foolish for his taste, if they had gotten into a situation dire enough that forced them to stay here of all places. “Thank you again for letting us stay here,” the prefect said, as he made sure for the umpteenth time that his and Grim’s bags weren’t taking up any more space than they had to like a good little student.

Leona just hummed, making himself comfortable on his bed. “Don’t make me regret it.” Out of all the reactions that could have gotten out of him, the herbivore laughed. It made Leona crack open an eye to peer at him. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Yuu sighed as he shrugged out of his uniform jacket, still trying to be as unimposing as possible as he draped it over his bag. “Usually I’m the one regretting things. Like this deal, for example.”

“Getting cold feet now?” Leona taunted, almost more a leer than a real question. He couldn’t help but smirk just a little. “You made your bed, herbivore. Now you gotta lay in it.”

Yuu huffed lightheartedly, the faintest hint of a smile etched on his lips. “Grim’s already taken care of that, I’m afraid.” He looked down at where the thing was already conked out, spread out on enough of the couch that it’d be a pain for the freshman to fit, too. Maybe that was the reason why he sighed, glancing down at bare wrists revealed by scrunched-up sleeves. “You wouldn’t happen to have a first-aid kit, would you?” he asked, that smile turning into something of a frown.

Another hum, as Leona eyed him through the slit he had to see through. “Didn’t know the herbivore was so easy to knock around.” He didn’t look all that beat up, but Leona could smell the tang of metallic blood in the air. Somewhere, skin had been broken. Wherever it was, he did a good job of hiding it, he’d give him that.

Maybe Leona was being a little mean. Something in him paused when the prefect’s eyes flickered, a dimmer thing flashing in them. “Didn’t know the lion took such pride in playing with his prey,” he shot back, making Leona’s second eye open as his eyebrow raised. “What a catch I am. ‘Doe-eyed and dimwitted,’ I think you put it. You must be flaunting me to everyone who’d listen as your best hunt.”

So the herbivore still had guts, even after facing beastmen full of snarling teeth and crackling spells. Leona smirked this time, tail flicking from where it was next to him. “Finally decided to drop that little act of respect, huh?”

Yuu grinned back, something twisted and dark and just evil enough to make Leona wonder if this frosh was really as out of place in this school as he originally thought. “Not at all.”

Doe-eyed, dimwitted and cheeky, he mentally added, a little more amused than he should’ve been to find out that the prefect had claws beyond just physical fights. “If I got anything, it’d be in the bathroom,” Leona finally said, trusting he wasn’t blind enough not to miss the door.

“Thank you very much, Housewarden Kingscholar.” He almost didn’t let the laugh that got out of him be anything more than another hum, but it did when Yuu somehow schooled his features to look as prim and proper as physically possible. He didn’t know how to feel about it. He could be asleep and yet here he was, laughing at some forgettable freshman’s joke.

Leona decided he’d sleep now, letting his eyes shut again. It wasn’t his problem that he had been foolish enough to make a contract with the cephalo-punk, and it wasn’t going to be. The only thing that he would contribute and take from this was a temporary lodging and a new, equally temporary servant. 

But then little noises kept coming from beyond the wall—clinking and ripping and the shuffling of clothes—and he found that it was enough of a distraction to keep him awake. “Knock it off,” he called with a lazy snarl, turning onto his side. There were days that he didn’t mind his heightened senses, and then there were nights like now, when he almost wished he was as deaf as a human so that he could get to rest.

“Sorry. I’m almost done.” Leona’s ear swerved as he picked up something else. A faint gasp, the sharp inhale of a hiss. He felt a growl rising in his throat when he heard it, though he didn’t know quite what it was directed at. Irritation that he was still awake, he decided on, when another of those breaths were sucked in.

Leona dragged himself off his bed, stalking over to the doorframe. Yuu almost jumped when he saw him, making a little flash of predatory satisfaction run through the housewarden. It was accented with the smell of blood, sharper now, since the wound was exposed to the fresh air instead of covered like before. It was a gash on his arm, still weeping a thin stream of scarlet.

It wasn’t just that one place, he realized, when his eyes slid to the hand gingerly letting his bunched-up shirt fall again. There was a bandage already on his abdomen and a bruise budding on his hip, only the very edge visible from where it dipped below his pantline. Leona supposed if he looked closer, took in a deeper breath, he’d find hints of even more blood and blue on his body.

That growl returned. “You really are easy to rough up,” he scowled, eyes smoldering as he looked at the prefect. Yuu averted his for a moment, but then thought better of it, staring right back with a face that said how unafraid he was. Leona’s glower grew. He was too bold for his own good.

“I’ve managed just fine until now,” the herbivore reminded, going back to his wounds as though Leona was nothing but a shadow on the wall. He didn’t make a sound when he dabbed some sort of ointment on the cut, biting the inside of his cheek to muffle it. But Leona still caught the faint scent of pain, something just as sharp and thick as though he was feeling it himself. If he looked close enough, he could see the way the herbivore’s eyes squinted, in annoyance and exhaustion and a list of other things Leona didn’t want to list, because he shouldn’t be thinking about it anyways.

What a pain. 

Yuu opened his mouth as Leona stepped closer, undoubtedly about to shoot another quip at him, but he stopped when he noticed that the housewarden had swiped a roll of bandages, ripping off just enough to wrap around his injury. His wrist was thin, Leona found himself musing when he felt the way Yuu’s heart skipped and thudded from his vein. It was almost impossible to see what he really looked like, thanks to the uniform that was at least three sizes too big for him, but even then, he wasn’t nearly as brawny as he’d imagined, to be able to take on the number of his dorm members he had and win. Then again, he would have to be small, to avoid the spells that seemed to follow him like fire streaking through dried grass.

He didn’t say anything, even as Leona tied the bandage ends together, keeping it there to cover the slice on his skin. “Thank you,” Yuu finally murmured, when Leona dropped his hands and leaned back, eyeing him a bit more. He really was puny. He couldn’t imagine that he’d be close to a filling snack to the menaces that were the Leech twins, let alone himself.

“Just stop making noise.” Yuu sighed, but the hints of a smile were on his face. Leona almost scoffed at it. The prefect started to put back together the supplies, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen into his face back again. That was when he saw it, able to look at it without distractions like other people or fights that he’d started. 

Leona had known that Yuu got hurt from when he’d overblotted, but he had never been able to see just exactly what he’d done. It was the first time he was seeing it from so close up—taking in the claw marks that spread from the side of his head to the corner of his jaw, still red and still fresh, even though the tournament had been some time ago now. With how big and long the four scratches were, Leona was almost surprised that the herbivore still had an ear on that side. But miraculously, it was still there, only with a few nicks and tears to speak of. 

It was healing as nicely as it could, but even so, it would no doubt hurt like no one’s business if it was put in saltwater—like the very sea he was going to dive into. That silent growl returned, but now Leona knew what it was directed at. 

“You’re staring,” the prefect mused, not looking over at him as he crouched to put the kit away. “I’m done now, I promise. You can go back to sleep.”

He felt something whisper inside him, like mounds of sand were forming to weigh him down. “Change into something else,” Leona grumbled, despite the way something putrid covered his tongue like rotten meat. “Your shirt’s bloody.”

The prefect blinked, and it almost looked like he was noticing that for the first time when he caught sight of the crimson stain on its front. Leona fought the urge to make that growl audible. “I don’t really have anything else,” he admitted, looking a little embarrassed as he did.

Of course he didn’t. Whether that was because the eels didn’t give him enough time to pack, or he just never had enough clothes in the first place, Leona didn’t know. He sighed either way, feeling the telltale drag of drowsiness start to pull him back to his bed. If he didn’t get to go back to it within a few minutes, he’d be angry. “Take something of mine then,” he ended up saying, trying to make this go faster so that he could get to sleep earlier.

“Are you sure?”

Leona just eyed him in return. “Anyone with half a sense of smell in this dorm would catch a whiff of it. They’d be on you in seconds if they knew it was from you.” 

It wasn’t a lie. The members of Savanaclaw were more feral than they should be some days, and it ended badly for anyone who was foolish enough to show their weakness off for others to exploit. If they knew that Leona was housing a wounded defect instead of just a defect, things would get bad for the both of them.

Only, he wasn’t either of those things. Leona didn’t know what to think as he watched Yuu tentatively open his closet while he stalked back to his bed, taking out the first shirt he thought Leona wouldn’t mind him wearing. This was a person—a herbivore—that had somehow taken him on at his stupidest, weakest, but still most powerful moment, something that he still didn’t know all the details of and didn’t want to, and won. Out of everyone in this school, Leona could count the people who were capable of that on one hand.

And yet, he still got pushed around like he was the weakest in the pride, beaten and used like a chew toy. Every time Leona had seen it, when those little spats had taken place in the botanical gardens for whatever reason, he had seen how the prefect had never fought back. He just defended himself with a look of set grimness on his face, and once his assailants were satisfied, he just went back to his day like they did. Maybe it was because he didn’t have magic. Maybe it was for some other reason, but all Leona knew and cared to know was that that was the way of the world. Those not favored were always second choice, and those not gifted were always last place.

Leona’s eyes narrowed as the prefect reappeared again, gently scooting Grim away for him to have enough space to curl up. Except, he didn’t. He reached down for his bag, pulling out a stack of documents thick as Leona’s wrist.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded, a snarl in his voice. It was too far past when he should have been asleep. It was too far past when the prefect should have been asleep, if Leona cared, but now he was starting yet another thing to keep them awake.

Yuu gave him a smile. Even in the dim light, Leona could see how it was strained, speaking of how desperately he wanted to drift off, too. “You can turn off the light. I won't disturb you.”

“That’s what your words are sayin’, but that’s telling a different story,” Leona countered, shooting an icy look at the papers. There was no reasonable way that a freshman should have that much of anything, homework or dorm responsibilities or anything else. 

He didn’t put them away, much to Leona’s annoyance. He couldn’t read the text on it from his position, so he couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but he had a sneaking suspicion about it when Yuu sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “They have to get done by the end of the week,” was all he told Leona, an apologetic tone woven into his voice. Leona met it with an unimpressed stare. “Pretend I’m not here. I’ll be quiet as a mouse.”

Leona’s eyes narrowed. Yuu tried to give him a sheepish smile, and that was finally the thing that made Leona relent, rolling his eyes as he let his head fall on his pillows. “You’d better be.” The last thing the prefect did before Leona made the light go out with a wave of his hand was put a finger to his lips, already displaying how silent he could be.

It wasn’t his problem, and it wasn’t his mess to clean up. So Leona let his eyes close, nestling just a little further into his bed to get comfortable. But he found himself keeping his ears alert, pricked and swerved just the right way to pin down the herbivore’s every noise. He really was quiet, Leona would give him that—the only thing he could pick up for the most part, even with his inhuman hearing, was the faint scribble of a pen and the occasional louder exhale of a weak sigh. 

At one point, there was something a little off. The air changed in a way Leona couldn’t quite place, making everything smell and sound and feel different. Then there was the sound of a cork uncapping a bottle, a whispered swallow, the rustling of a jacket as something was taken out or put back into his bag. Everything changed to normal a few seconds later, as though the strange abnormality had never happened. Leona chalked it up to his half-asleep state playing tricks on him, when he wasn’t quite sure what was real and what wasn’t.

But the sounds continued. Every time Leona thought that he was finally done, as a silence dragged out for long enough that he felt himself slipping into complete sleep, something would always break it. The resuming of writing on paper, or a little murmur so breathy Leona couldn’t even call it a whisper.

Finally at his wit’s end, Leona let his scarred eye open, peering through the night to catch a glimpse of the herbivore. He doubted that the prefect had moved from his position in all the time they’d spent in darkness. If he had, Leona couldn’t tell—he still was hunched over his papers, pen moving as though it were the last thing keeping the world from ending. He’d gotten through a good portion of it, at the very least. The stack at his feet that Leona assumed were the finished ones was thicker than he’d expected it would be, especially when he could hardly see in the dark as well as Leona could. Efficiency seemed to be one of his strong suits, if nothing else.

Yuu stopped as he finished the sheet he’d been working on, staring down at the ones on the ground with a dull look in the eyes that otherwise glowed like two ghostly blue stars. Leona could practically hear the gears turning in the herbivore’s head, screaming and clicking from the lack of oil rest would give them. And then he stopped, listening to his mind's pleas by joining the two stacks together before storing them back in his bag. Leona breathed a sigh. 

Only for the prefect to pull out another stack of papers. 

Enough was enough. “What,” Leona hissed, making Yuu jump at how a single emerald fire was aimed at him from the dark, “are you doing.”

“My homework,” he answered, too surprised to lie. It took another snarl from Leona to finally make Yuu come to his senses, albeit if he had any. “I thought you were asleep.”

“You can see just how right you are, can’t you?” Leona could hear the way Yuu’s breath hitched when he lifted his head, raising up to glare at the freshman. “Wasn’t that other stack it?”

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “No. That was— that wasn’t.” Yuu seemed scared. Good. It reflected in his eyes as Leona sat up further, silently demanding a better answer out of him. “They’re from the headmage,” he admitted, fidgeting with his hands under the housewarden’s smoldering gaze.

“‘Course they are.” It almost sounded like Leona wasn’t convinced, with the venom starting to seep into his voice. He was more surprised that the birdbrain would trust a job like that to a freshman with no place in the world and no magic to his name. Maybe that was exactly why, he realized, as he remembered that Crowley was the reason why the herbivore had even been investigating him in the first place.

It clicked then, what Yuu's role was in everything. Of course—he was someone unnoticeable and disposable. And Leona’s anger surprisingly changed to a new target, as he recognized just how little say the student in front of him had in anything. But no one in the room had to know about that. “Put them away,” he ordered, giving the papers such a heated look it wouldn’t be surprising if they spontaneously combusted. Yuu opened his mouth to speak, to no doubt argue with him, but Leona stopped it with another hair-raising snarl. “Now.”

Yuu gave him a look that only seemed half-annoyed, with how worry and fear was taking up the rest of his brainpower. “I’m sorry. I—”

“Stop talking.” Yuu immediately listened, closing his mouth without another word. So now he had some common sense. “Lay down ‘n sleep,” Leona told him, narrowing his eyes more for every second that passed where he didn’t. “I’m not askin’, and I’m not saying it again.”

Leona watched with eyes that didn’t miss a thing as Yuu did as he said, making sure there was no way for him to worm his way out of it again. Maybe he should start calling the herbivore the weasel instead of the pipsqueak, he thought with an almost sarcastic tone. He was small and slippery enough to be one.

Finally, the freshman seemed like he was done. So Leona laid back down again, hoping for sleep at last. “Sorry,” the herbivore mumbled, not-quite-quiet enough for Leona to miss. 

His eyes opened again from where they had almost closed shut, feeling those sand dunes press down on his chest again.  “Go to bed,” he answered, in a voice that was not quite as harsh as before. 

The prefect shifted one more time, readjusting the blanket draped over his body for one final last noise of the evening. “Good night.” 

Leona sighed, forcing himself to stop staring at the ceiling and listening to the prefect. Some sleep he was getting.

Once Yuu and his gang of freshmen disappeared from campus, Leona returned to his room instead of his regular spot in the botanical gardens. He’d been tipped off by the herbivore’s frantic studying to know that there were going to be one too many classes there for him to stomach, so he returned to his room instead, peacefully and blissfully quiet without his two extra roommates.

And yet, he did not sleep. For some strange reason, Leona dug through his possessions, without rhyme or reason, trying to remember where it was that Ruggie told him he’d stored a particular group of stuff. Of course, he’d been falling asleep, so he hardly remembered what the sophomore had said to him. At the time, Leona hadn’t cared in the slightest, but he supposed he was a little ticked off at his past self now, when he’d rummaged through enough places and thrown enough things around that he wanted to just stop and get in his afternoon nap.

Then, finally, in the last few seconds Leona had grumbled to himself he’d spend doing this, he found it, left to gather dust in a box in an unused room. Anyone without magic or muscle would have been doomed to get buried in all the discarded things, which was why Leona had held off looking in there until he was completely sure that was the only place it could be. It really was for the best that Yuu and Grim roomed with him, Leona found himself thinking, before he threw the thought out of his head.

He’d done more than enough for today, Leona decided. So he haphazardly threw it onto one of the many piles of things scattered amongst his floor and slunk back to his bed, hoping to catch a few winks before Ruggie came looking for him for lunch.

No one at this school pulled any punches, Yuu found, even for those younger and weaker than them. Any other day, under any other circumstances, she would have respected that. But now, when she was tired and cold and sore, Yuu just wanted to go back to her moth-eaten bed and let the world crumble around her.

“You’re not done yet,” Ruggie chimed, noticing how Yuu and Grim were about to fall back onto Leona’s couch and pass out, even though it was littered with mess. “We gotta clean, then you can conk out.”

Of course. Yuu sighed, grabbing Grim by the scruff to pick him up again and set him on the ground, too tired to speak. “This feels messier than last night,” she mused despite herself, knowing it was probably a little rude, but exhaustion removing her filter.

“It always seems that way when it’s your job to clean up.” Yuu hummed, grabbing any and all laundry nearby to throw in the hamper. If nothing else, she could try to be quick. Then she could get to the mountain of paperwork she still needed to do, between her homework and the papers Crowley had assigned to her.

The last few rays of sun trickled in through his balcony, and Yuu couldn’t help but pause for a second, watching the great ball of fire descend to the horizon. She only had two more days to achieve the impossible. It would have been difficult enough with a month, but with only three sunsets given to her, Yuu had half the mind to just curl into a ball and let herself give up.

But she couldn’t. Yuu wasn’t the only one standing to lose something now. It was the mess she’d told her friends she’d help them get out of, so it was her burden to bear. Yuu sighed, rolling her shoulders to hopefully shake some of the aching soreness in them from swimming the entire day, and got back to work. Leona did nothing but watch with half-lidded eyes, lazily following their movements as the two of them cleaned while Ruggie oversaw.

Once the rest of the room was devoid of things haphazardly tossed around, Yuu moved onto Leona’s desk, seeing that there was clutter still near its surroundings. She hadn’t meant to pry, but when she carefully took the blanket that was draped over the table into her hands, folding it absentmindedly, her eyes dragged across the words of the opened book below.

And then they widened. “Leona,” she called, feeling a spark of hope ignite in her for the first time in weeks, “are these your textbooks?”

His eyes had closed, and they did not reopen at her query. “What’s it matter?”

It wasn’t a yes. But it wasn’t a no, either. “Could I borrow them for tonight?” Yuu asked, glancing down at Grim when he made his way over. Hopefully he didn’t miss the silent plea she’d given him to start reading, just in case Leona suddenly got up and snatched them away.

Not that he'd do that. Or maybe he would. After last night, Yuu wasn’t really sure where his boundaries were in what did and didn’t make him mad. But the housewarden just hummed, not bothered enough to give her a proper answer. It wasn’t a no. “Thank you,” she breathed, taking them in her hands as though they were the most fragile glass and bringing them back to her makeshift bed.

“You’re still doin’ homework?” Grim exclaimed, the hint of disapproval in his voice. “We’re not even goin’ to class, minion. There’s no point.”

“We’ll still have to learn the material,” she countered, only half present in the conversation. The last of her attention on her surroundings disappeared when Ruggie snickered, echoing in her ears like the whispers of sand grains shifting against each other. Maybe tonight, she could finish her homework before such an unreasonable hour.

And Leona watched through that one hardly-opened eye, as the last of the light disappeared from inside his four walls, and yet the prefect still worked.

#first time posting fic on tumblr so fingers crossed the formatting is okay!! #this is both so much easier and so much harder than doing it on ao3 #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x yuu #twisted wonderland x mc #leona kingscholar #yuu #twst yuu #leona kingscholar x yuu #leona kingscholar x reader #three nights remain #cloudedgalaxies

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to Crazier Bastard's Chapter 294

Brief summary: Cale wonders if Exion is an enemy or not. Cale meets the great elf, and talks about the WT and the impending end of the world.

==========

Is Exion an enemy or not? That was the question Cale had after this chapter. Frankly, I would like it if Exion joined Cale's side instead of the Dragon Lord's. All ten dragon gods were considered villains, so it would be nice twist if he switched sides.

Exion was someone who pretended to be a human. He started it as a play he did for fun. But as time passed, 200 years to be exact, the play became real. It became his life.

He fell in love and married a human, a princess of a fallen kingdom. He created a fiefdom, calling it a Grand Duchy, and became the Grand Duke. He accepted humans as his citizens, and treated them well. And now, he was about to become a father and expecting a child soon.

Exion wrote to Cale in a letter that he really wanted to protect his family, even if it meant betraying the Dragon Lord or destroying the world. Of course, there were suspicious parts to his story.

Was his good treatment of humans genuine or just an act to govern them efficiently? And how old exactly was his human wife? Why was she still alive and young-looking after all these years? Was her secret to youth and long life the thing he was offering a solution to Pope Kesilia's limited lifespan? At the end, Cale thought that he really needed to talk with Exion to figure him out.

Cale's meeting with the great elf though was quite funny. 😂

Clopeh: *knocks on the door* Great elder: *opens and sees Clopeh* Great elder: ...There's a crazy bastard here who overcame brainwashing. *stares at Clopeh as if he was a strange creature* Later... Great elder: *talks about the doom and destruction of the world and the WT* Cale: *counters all the doom talk with his plans to save the world* Everyone: *looks at Cale in shock* Clopeh: *feels proud as he looks at Cale* Great elder: There's a crazier bastard here.

We finally know who the two the chapter title were referring to. 😂 Clopeh was the crazy bastard, and Cale was the crazier bastard. 🤣🤣🤣 Clopeh was "crazy" because he resisted the brainwashing of the guardian knight's sword. Cale was "crazier" because he planned to completely reverse the impending doom and destruction of Aipotu.

Ending Remarks The Exion part surprised me, and made me look forward to Cale's meeting with him. Next chapter would be Cale meeting the World Tree which was... suicidal?! Or to be exact, it was willing to sacrifice itself to save the world from destruction even though it was "immortal". Could this WT still be saved? I'm excited to know what Cale's plan for the WT would be.

#tcf spoilers #trash of the count's family

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

There's a snake in my pants - K.MG

🤠Who; Kim Mingyu (Seventeen) x gender-neutral reader 🤠What; Crack/humour. Some fluff. Established relationship. Himbo Mingyu! [I love himbo Gyu] 🤠Word count; 2.3k 🤠Warnings; Profanity. Critter mentions (literally the word critter plus snake but uhhh not the animal). Misuse of a lasso, bad Mingyu, but it's funny dw. And no one gets hurt. Mentions of pervert/voyeur Wonwoo but it's not plot relevant. Very suggestive in general but no smut or actual sexual actions. Reader wears lingerie.

Although there isn't any smut, this is definitely an 18+ fic so Minors do NOT interact. I WILL block any account that interacts without an age indicator in the bio.

Summary; Your boyfriend wants to try a new sexy roleplay idea, it doesn't go well.

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N- This goes out to @ourdawnishotterthanourday , I hope you enjoy reading this as if you don't already know exactly what's going to happen anyway from my screaming about the himbo cowboy collective (omg series idea???) Thank you for encouraging me to live my best crack life, sweetheart 💖 And big thank you to @wonuvs for helping me so much with the header, I know it must've been hard to look at shirtless Mingyu so much 💖

Approximately twenty minutes ago, your lovable idiot of a boyfriend told you to go and wait on your bed for him, gave you a wink then skipped off with an excited giggle. Which, cute, yes, but also very very worrying.

As much as you adore Mingyu, you are very aware that he has some rather questionable ideas in general, what with him being what you would call a Class A Himbo; and unfortunately, he has brought those questionable ideas into the bedroom on more than one occasion. There is now a strict rule about no balloons in the bedroom and likely not for the reason you think.

So although you do go to your shared room and get dressed down in a lingerie set you know that he likes, you truly can't say that you exactly have high hopes for whatever your boyfriend has planned.

When the door creaks open, you're confused because all you see is Mingyu's hand appearing from one side to nudge the door open as wide as it can go. It takes a few pushes of his fingers before the door does actually swing open and then his arm darts back. A second later, Mingyu gallops into view and you don't know if you want to laugh or mentally log out more.

Because gallop isn't even an inaccurate description of the way he enters. Like a child pretending to play cowboys with one of those long wooden poles with the plush horse's heads set on one end with attached reigns. You can't tell if the fact he has one of those children's toy horses makes it worse or not. You can't even admire the way his thick thighs, showcased by just the tiny pair of boxer briefs he's wearing, are pressed tight around either side of the thick wooden pole to keep it upright with both of his hands barely fitting on the tiny little loop of faux-leather that makes up the reigns.

All Mingyu is wearing are those tiny little dark boxers that don't even fully cover his asscheeks, a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. Oh, and there's some thin dark rope looped diagonally over his bare chest. That can't be good.

"Howdy partner." Mingyu starts, entirely serious in his roleplay and doing his best to put on the 'cowboy voice' you know that he and his friends have been practising together to be 'real cowboys'.

Even though you're still trying to figure out exactly how you feel about this particular roleplay choice of your boyfriend, you can't help but at least humour him. He's far too cute and sweet in general to not try, at the very least, to play along. "Howdy, cowboy," You reply, a little dumbstruck yet Mingyu lights up brightly all the same.

He wiggles slightly in excitement, forgetting himself a little in his joy, then remembers he's supposed to be a 'sexy, serious cowboy-man' and schools his expression. He doesn't even notice the amused twitch of your lips at his slip. "I'm new to town and I hear you're the person to come to when there's trouble."

"Oh, there's trouble, is there?" You hum and shuffle to sit up against the headboard. You're internally very relieved when he removes the horse and props it against the wall. It's much easier to take him seriously when he's standing there in all his ridiculously handsome glory.

"Yes, ma'am." Oh, you could get used to him saying those words in that voice, pitched slightly lower than normal and a little rough. Maybe their 'cowboy meetings' have been more successful than you've realised. Because Mingyu, nor his friends, have improved very much in the actual horse riding aspect of being a modern-day cowboy. But at least the voice is getting good.

"Sounds serious."

"It is." He steps a little closer, hands on his hips and you can't tell if it's intentional or not but it draws your eyes to his crotch in those tiny boxers leaving nothing to the imagination. Not that you need to imagine what he's packing underneath when he's always so willing to let you see, and feel, and taste. "Do you think you can help a cowboy out, ma'am?"

"Keep calling me ma'am and it sounds pretty likely." You mutter and lift your gaze back up to his face. He's smirking at you now, well aware of how much you love his body. "Tell me, what's the issue, cowboy?"

"Well, you see, it involves a certain critter," You try not to giggle at him using the term critter, you can't help it when all you can think of is the endearing way he and his friends will call any living animal or insect critter; often in a loud screech when a bug flies too close to them.

"Ooh, I see. You have a critter problem."

"That I do, ma'am."

"And a big strong cowboy like you can't handle a single critter?"

"I'm more skilled with the bigger critters."

"So this critter is small?" You wonder how many times the two of you will use the term critter, it really does not help set the mood, just amuses you honestly. This situation has already devolved in your mind and Mingyu hasn't even noticed, he's still very serious about his big-boy cowboy role-play.

"Yes," His face drops. "Wait, no! It's not." He pouts a little, barely a little protrusion of his bottom lip.

"So it's not big enough for you to handle yourself, but it's not small?" He nods and slips back into character. "How big is it exactly?"

"Big enough." You think you understand what he's trying to do here. But you're willing to let it play out at least.

"Okay, give it to me."

"Give it to you?" His eyes round out a little with the excitement those words bring him.

"I mean, tell me what it is." You correct and try not to giggle at the disappointed little oh he lets out, understanding the miscommunication there.

Though, once again, he gets right back into character and locks his serious, sultry gaze on you as the tips of his thumbs hook into the waistband of his boxers without removing his hands from his hips. "There's a snake in my pants." Yup, that's about exactly where you thought he was going with this.

"I can't believe you've defiled my childhood like that, Mingyu." You deadpan, unimpressed. His arms drop along with his expression.

"What? What did I do wrong? It's just a line!" He whines. "Wonwoo taught it to me!"

"Wonwoo?" You sigh. "Baby, what have I told you about listening to Wonwoo where sex is involved?"

"That he's wrong that sitting in the tree outside our window with binoculars isn't a natural biology lesson no matter if he takes notes." He replies in very much the tone of a man who has had those very words drilled into him many times.

"I…well yes, that is a very good one, thank you for remembering." Mingyu perks up a little at your approving response. "But that's not what I meant."

"Uhm," He thinks hard. "That he's wrong that you have to bark during doggy style." That particular memory sends shivers down your spine, you had hoped to forget it.

"Also very correct and please don't bring that up again."

"I'm sorry, I really thought he knew what he was talking about!" Mingyu defends quickly. "He's so smart, baby!"

"Uh," You don't know how to respond. Wonwoo is not smart, he may look scholarly with his glasses and cardigans when he's lounging around, but he is, like your boyfriend, just another pretty himbo. All four of the group are and you still can't tell who's the worst of them. Still, you adore the four and would never change a thing about any of them, even if their dumbassery has caused a lot of trouble since they moved to town. So you move on. "The point is, Gyu, you shouldn't listen to Wonwoo's sex advice, ever. Remember that?"

"Oh, right, yeah, you've said that before." He nods slowly in understanding, looking kind of dejectedly down at the bedframe. He looks like a scolded puppy, it pulls your heartstrings enough to want to try and salvage the situation.

"Was this whole roleplay Wonwoo's idea?" You wonder. Mingyu looks up at you and shakes his head, lips pouted cutely at you and eyes big. "Yours?"

"Yeah. And Seungcheol's. You've never told me not to take sex advice from him!"

Okay, you have to admit, Seungcheol is probably the only one from Mingyu's three besties that you think would give pretty decent sex advice, you know he at least has active ongoing experience with a friend of your own and they've always sung his praises. Wonwoo is…well nobody knows for sure if Wonwoo has ever actually had sex. He kind of gives off horny virgin energy, honestly whenever sexual conversations come up but he's always been pretty smooth when flirting so it could go either way. And the fourth of their group is precious, naive Seokmin; you know he has experience himself but he's a very sweet guy and always seems scandalised when anything out of vanilla is mentioned.

"Okay, then I'm willing to pick this back up if you really want to try it, sweetheart."

"I do!" Mingyu beams and suddenly looks as if you've offered him the world on a silver platter, drizzled in sweet syrup ready for him to slurp up. Oh, does that remind you of another one of his slightly less questionable bedroom surprises. But that's an entirely different story. "Okay, okay," Mingyu takes a few breaths to calm his visible joy, it's so cute watching him bring his hands up as he inhales deeply then turn and push them palms downwards to the floor as he exhales.

He may have some very odd ideas, but man, did you score an adorable sweetheart of a boyfriend who you hope will never change and always remain this way. You've not even been together that long, just a handful of months really, but you're pretty sure he's it for you. Your forever. The one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

When he's collected himself, he turns back to you and decides to entirely bypass the whole snake in his pants section, wisely so you think, and starts to remove the ropes from around his torso. He only knocks his hat off twice, though you barely notice because now all you can think about is the fact that it seems like you won't be the one to have to bring up bondage.

While you're wondering if your big beefy boyfriend is about to hogtie you and have his way with you, Mingyu gathers the long rope in his right hand and then takes one end into his left. It's then that you notice the very distinct large loop in one end.

Horror spreads through your body as you realise that Kim Mingyu has brought a fucking lasso into the bedroom. "Gyu-" You start in warning yet he's already pulling his arm back and launching the rope in your general direction. You yelp automatically, expecting to get hit in the face, yet it doesn't touch you. There's a loud crash on your right so you look over only to find that the only remaining one of the pair of bedside lamps is now in pieces on the hardwood flooring, the loop of Mingyu's lasso caught around the shade. It's like the balloon incident all over again. And now you have no bedside lamps, thanks to Kim Mingyu.

There's pure silence for a tense few seconds as you both stare dumbly at the mess on the floor.

Mingyu's whisper breaks the silence "Fuck." And then you burst into howling laughter. "Babe!" He whines but you can't stop, toppling over onto your side on the bed with the power of your laughs.

The whole situation has been a mess from start to finish. It's a miracle you lasted this long without some kind of breakdown. You're just glad it's the laughing kind and not the mental kind.

It takes a minute of poutily grumbling about working him hard on the scenario, learning how to tie a lasso knot and modelling endless hats and boots for his friends so they can help him pick the right ones before the humour of it all actually hits Mingyu.

It starts with a little giggle and then he looks between you and the broken lamp a few times and has to flop across the bed as he laughs along with you, uncaring that his hat falls off.

Slowly, both of you stop laughing and calm enough to look at each other. You're still grinning like fools and there are tear tracks down your cheeks from it, but you're happy. He's happy. That's all that matters.

Mingyu shuffles over to you in a manner that makes giggles bubble out of your throat until he's on his side close enough to lean in and press a soft kiss to your lips. "I love you," He informs gently when he pulls back to look adoringly into your eyes. Your expression softens and quickly melts into the mirror of his own as you brush your fingertips over his cheek.

"I love you too." You reply, smiling as he lays his hand over the back of yours to hold it in place as he turns his head to kiss your palm, planting his love right there where you can keep it safe for as long as you want to. And then he looks back at you and holds your palm to his cheek. "Just no more lassos in the bedroom,"

Mingyu laughs and nods in agreement. "No more lassos in the bedroom."

"House in general. Indoors. No lassos indoors."

"Okay, baby," He giggles and kisses you once more sweetly before getting up and picking his hat up off the mattress to plop on your head when you sit up. You adjust it so that you can watch as he crouches down beside the broken lamp to begin cleaning up the mess you made. And as you watch him, there's only one thought on your mind.

Yeah, he really is it for you.

A/N- Believe it or not, the original idea that caused this one has a much higher crack content and I may have to write that too. This story can be considered a spin-off of that, or one in the collection of the same universe focused on the 4 himbos and their adventures.

#wkcnet #svthub #seventeen x reader #seventeen fic #svt x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen crack #svt fluff #svt crack #svt fic #seventeen mingyu x reader #seventeen mingyu fluff #seventeen mingyu crack #seventeen mingyu fic #svt mingyu x reader

[muirmarie]

tos mcspirk red string of fate au:

Where McCoy makes a smart remark about not believing in soulmates (and even if soulmates & red strings of fate are real, HE certainly doesn't have one) to some powerful being that decides: lmao, I know what would be really funny, and the three of them get dosed with something that (temporarily) makes their strings not only visible but also PHYSICALLY PRESENT. They can't wander too far away from each other because they become a tripping hazard. The strings grow or shrink depending on their proximity so when they're nearby their arms are getting tugged when someone reaches for something, because for all intents and purposes they're physically tied together.

McCoy and Spock trying different ways to break/cut/dissolve the string, but absolutely nothing works on it. Meanwhile the strings keep getting caught in the door and making them fall on their butts.

McCoy still valiantly trying to pretend that these red strings mean Absolutely Nothing, No, They Are Not Cosmically Bound Together By Destiny, Thanks.

They divert to Vulcan because Vulcans have studied the red strings in depth, and the Vulcan High Priestess is losing her mind because usually Vulcans have to go through some special rituals to prove they're the Vulcan-iest Vulcan in order to gain the ability to even see the red strings, and Spock is trying to pretend he's not Smug about it (he is failing badly).

Kirk is feeling Extremely Sappy but is trying to hide it.

McCoy is losing his mind about trying to perform surgery while attached to these two, and also at the fact that Kirk has unilaterally decided it makes more sense for them to all just sleep in the same bed in the meantime, and also the Knowing Looks the entire crew is giving them, and also -

And also everything about this situation, tbh.

Comedy ensues, is the point.

#mcspirk #star trek #star trek tos #james t kirk #leonard mccoy #spock #tos writing ref #st:tos #mine #i'm so worn out from this weekend lmao i'll check and see later if i can fit this into any of my empty slots for my mcspirk bingo card #or my belated mcspirk month lmao

[saras-almanac]

Being under the assumption that both Eddie’s and Bobby’s storylines will feature heavily in the last few episodes of the season with fallout and some consequences set up for season 8, I have some thoughts about what I want to see for the show since I’m procrastinating doing anything today…

Bobby – Having to actually physically face someone from the fire, I want that to be a big sign for Bobby to actually start working through his trauma and guilt in a way that doesn’t necessarily lead to a potential relapse story, but some tension with Athena because she can’t understand what he’s going through, how he feels really (similar to when he was helping that drunk driving woman after the pileup from Blindsided). Another thing I want is to see him taking more of an active role in his AA meetings—I want him to really start focusing on that so he can have friends outside of people he’s Captain of, plus it’ll help set up what his endgame should be: focusing on his meetings and helping people who have been at or are at rock bottom because he is someone who can really understand. And he doesn’t need to be a first responder to still help.

Athena – I literally just want her to interact more with Buck. (Though I literally want Buck to interact with everyone so much) If his apartment does burn down or he moves, maybe Athena offers him to stay at their place since Maddie and Chimney are dealing with their own stuff, Eddie’s off on his own, and it’s a bit too soon to fully move in with Tommy). But just imagine the talks they could have over tea late at night, both of them being night owls. They could talk about their careers, how to know when to keep trying for advancement or when it’s okay to be content where you’re at. Plus let’s say Athena gets drafted to help on a case of some sort, bringing home some files along with her notes, only to wake up in the morning to see Buck on his third cup of coffee and a full red string makeshift pinboard set up on the table going through all the potential theories. (Athena wants to be annoyed but also, maybe he’s on to something? And it’s not like he went out and started doing his own sleuthing and digging through someone’s trash so… )

Buck – Obviously next season I just want him and Tommy to still be together and their big storyline is working on continuing to build their relationship, especially allowing Buck to really be there for Tommy in a way that we’ve already seen Tommy do for Buck. I want their relationship to be settled and steady, even with the bumps and hiccups, but ultimately something that settles Buck so he can really focus on his career and what he wants outside of being a firefighter. (Obviously my endgame for Buck is being Captain at a different firehouse, or well on his way to actually being Captain). But there’s so much angst and humor to be had in the background where Buck/Tommy doesn’t have to take up too much space. Obviously the angst of if Tommy gets hurt or just learning about his past (which I have lots of thoughts about) and Buck learning to cope with that, still growing and getting better at direct communication. Which could lead into a funny runner in an episode where Buck goes around asking everyone (Bobby, Athena, Maddie, Chimney) how they handle it when their partner is hurt and how is the best way for him to comfort Tommy after a rough shift because he obviously wants to do it the best way possible because Tommy is the best and always seems to know what to do and Buck just wants to be the same for him—only for him to get his real answer from Karen (because I also want more Buck with Karen and Buck and Hen being siblings next season). Plus Buck could be in random scenes because he’s obviously getting kicked out of Bobby and Athena’s house at least twice a week for their roleplaying nights that Buck doesn’t want to really ask about but accidentally knows too much about, which also leads to him showing up at May’s one night when everyone else is at work or busy and they have that weird “do you know what I know about mom and dad” conversation about what their parents are getting up to. (Plus leaning into May and Buck developing a relationship could also show us a lot of both of those characters because it’d be in different roles than we’ve seen them—May as the younger sister, Buck as the older brother) Plus I absolutely need to see Buck and Carla being friends again.

Tommy – I absolutely want him to stick around and for them to start filling in the gaps of his life a bit more because he is a really friendly person and has buddies and people to hang out with, but he’s also really lonely and I think that’s why jumped all in with his friendship with Eddie and putting his best foot forward with Buck. Just want him around lol

HenRen – My most beloved ladies. I just want them to keep going and having them face outside challenges together, as a team. So next season could be them wanting to officially adopt Mara but it’s their first adoption (where the kid is not a baby) and they want to do this right, not making Mara feel pressured or like she has to accept this. Obviously them juggling Mara and their still complicated feelings about Denny reconnecting with Nathanial behind their backs is a really good story for them, and then what happens if they get more kids, or another case similar to Mara where it’s a slightly older child and it upsets the balance a bit more? I just love the idea of them as foster parents and want to keep exploring that, even if it is “repetitive” because it’s wonderful to see such amazing parents who are actively trying to be the best they can be and making sure to put their kids first. (Endgame for them, adopting a baby girl, which doesn’t make them love their other children less, but it’d be a really nice full circle moment of them with Denny and Nia, to this full-scale family) Would also love to see Karen interacting a bit more with people—I think at least starting with Chimney and Buck would be a really quick and easy way—Buck could be babysitting a bit, coming over for game nights, showing up randomly. Just a way to start getting Karen more featured because she is literally sunshine and I think it’d be really cool to see her talking about her job and Buck’s excitement and how he’d be super interested in it. (And maybe she’s starting to question if she wants to stay at her job, now with the kids and she’s not sure if she’s as excited about it anymore, or maybe she hasn’t fully been herself at work since the explosion… anything for Karen that’s not sad or too angsty because I can’t handle it. Or one of her brothers comes to stay for an undisclosed amount of time causing hijinx.)

Madney – Oh my god… These two need much less angst and just pure happiness forever. But obviously, that’s not going to happen. So what I would love to see is their storyline centered around the next steps for their family, namely whether or not they want more kids. Jee was a happy accident and they’d never not want her, but it does bring up the question of do they want more children? They both have some issues surrounding parental relationships, and while they’ve been working through them and are incredible parents themselves, would they feel ready or able to have another child or more children? Not to mention physically, for Maddie, would she be willing and able to put herself through that again? I don’t know. It’s something that could really give them a lot of meat in a story while not being needlessly overdramatic—Like my hopes for HenRen, I want them to face things as a couple and still support each other.

Eddie – I need him to be getting help. I want to see this story completely blow up in his face because he doesn’t really have a lot of storylines that deal with the fallout of his actions. And this will hopefully be something that is just him making the worst possible decisions ever and then seeing him lash out at people would be peak writing for this character, to watch him build himself back up and really allow him to have relationships outside of Chris and Buck. I know they’re all friends, but Eddie literally doesn’t really interact with anyone else. Would love to see him and Buck on the outs for a bit so they could both have scenes with some other people. Plus I’d love this story to lead to a happily single Eddie, realizing that he doesn’t need to have a partner just for Chris’s sake and that he’s not really interested in dating right now, despite the fact it feels like everyone in his life (his family) keeps pushing that on him. He honestly needs to do a lot of work on himself to be ready and able to be in a romantic relationship because Eddie is actually the worst in relationships—and whether that’s only because he’s still dealing with Shannon’s death and the way he’s clearly romanticized their past or because he genuinely doesn’t want to date or doesn’t know how to date, we can explore. I want to know more about Eddie because from the beginning he’s basically just been Single Dad Veteran and I don’t feel like they’ve really given him much else until this season. Let Eddie be alone so we can actually learn who he is more before he gets into another relationship—or crazier yet, allow for Single Representation Eddie where he ultimately decides he’s happier alone and doesn’t need anyone.

Josh – My endgame for Josh is obviously him taking over Sue’s position at the Call Center—which would obviously lead to Maddie officially taking over Josh’s spot. But like Buck, I want Josh to have a little more stability in his life so he has stuff outside the call center to help balance himself when he does take on that role. Could be a really great way to sort of mirror Buck and Josh—both of them knowing what they want to do and being really great at it but having no real idea of what to do if that’s taken away. Josh sort of stumbled into this job and excelled at it immensely, but sort of at the expense of his own personal life (plus the trauma of his last “official” experience with dating). Whereas Buck’s never really set aside his personal life for his job but hasn’t ever really found that balance of both with someone who really gets him. So there could be a lot to explore with them as an option. I just want to see a bit more of Josh and maybe he gets a boyfriend or at least starts to date again.

Ravi – I have no idea what I want for him other than for him to be around. In my ideal endgame, he’s obviously taking over Buck’s role at the 118, so maybe just keeping him involved in the crew more. Maybe he has a big dramatic storyline for season 8, dealing with his past or getting injured or showing how he withdraws very quickly. I don’t know he’s sort of a blank slate so they could really do anything with him. I just want to see him around more.

Basically I just have a lot of thoughts and wanted to write them all out here because why not.

#911 abc #evan buckley #bucktommy #henren #madney #bathena #bobby nash #athena grant #chimney han #maddie buckley #hen wilson #karen wilson #tommy kinard #josh russo #ravi panikkar #911 thoughts

[nkogneatho]

okay since you said yes.

toji never failed to charm women with the minimum effort. he would always notice signs of flirtatious behavior and tones that women reciprocated back. that was before me.

after he fell in love with me, he had nothing on his mind except the word "pasi". i am convinced. the smart assassin has actually incorporated himself to being stupid at times. he couldn't notice how people ogled at him when he walked looking so fine. but i did. and i hated every second of it.

look. i get it it's one thing to try and flirt with a handsome man you met at a supermarket. i mean shoot your shot girl. but it is another thing to keep on trying even after noticing the wedding ring on the man's finger. it made my blood boil. and you know the worst part? this 6'2 tall dumbfuck that i was in love with did not even dismiss her. because he is so oblivious now. he doesn't pay much attention to women other than me, let alone their playfully sweet tone. and that is what made me more mad. i scooped closer and overheard him giving stew tips to her. he said something witty along the lines that barely made me chuckle but her grazing her hand over his arm as she laughed too loud and long, made me want to kill her. get your dirty hands off my man.

before i could swoop in, toji had finally caught onto what was happening. he moved his arm away from her and looked at her with an ice cold expression laced with a little bit of disgust. i liked it. "excuse me. i gotta go find my wife." unaware i was just a few meters away from him, faced away but still peeking.

"how about we exchange numbers?" is this bitch for real? i thought. god i was already fantasizing about slamming her head into a wall.

"funny how we just met and yet you disgust me. whore yourself out to another man." he walked away as he saw me. i was a little mad earlier (a little? pfft— sure) but his coldness towards others turned me on even more. knowing he just melts for me fills my panties with wetness and short circuits my brain. fuck. i could be a titanic and he could be an iceberg but i had already melted the heck out of that iceberg before it could drown me. but...i wanted him to drown me in him. i wanted to sink deep into him.

#well would you look at that??? you know i will reblog the hell out of this because i love this sm #°🖇᭡ “ tojisi ” #tojisi on top mfs #toji fushiguro #pasi.txt

[acourtofthought]

This is the new argument from e/riels:

"Yes Lucien was feisty and powerful and sassy and funny in the first book, and that personality slowly started to fade in book 2. This happened because Lucien was originally supposed to be Nesta's mate, but then SJM changed her mind. Lucien slowly became a shadow of his old self to the point where he barely exists in the story. Yes it can partially be attributed to trauma, but he had lived through immense trauma already at the start of book one and still managed to be his foxy, witty self. This is because he will not be a lead in Elain's book or any book. SJM is purposefully downgrading him because he is not meant to fill the role of MMC. She realized that Azriel and Elain have much more chemistry, hence the famous statement about how sometimes she puts two characters together and they just won't work. She left readers a hint about the fact that she was doing this: 'Why make them mates? What if that is what she needs?' using Feyre's words."

What are your thoughts on this?

My thoughts? There will be many 😂

Feyre also said Az would probably never stop loving Mor.

Feyre also told Elain that Lucien cared for her and that he was a good male.

Feyre also once considered Ianthe a friend.

I don't think Feyre's word is one they want to get hung up on.

Lucien did experience trauma in book 1 however the majority of that trauma, the things that impacted him on a bone deep level, happened to him centuries prior. Lucien's main source of trauma in book 1 (to me) was not when Amarantha permanently scarred him but when he lost Jesminda and was chased out of Autumn after having spent years being tormented by Beron and his brothers. But he found some semblance of peace with Tamlin. Was he truly content? Not really but he had a friend, a place in Tamlin's court, the people of Spring looked to him to set the example (friends and purpose, sounds familiar, right?). Despite his past he had still had enough time to settle into his sassiness because his life was somewhat consistent.

However book 2 changed all that. Tamlin and his court began to suffer as a result of what happened during and after UTM. There was the added fear of what Rhys was possibly doing to Feyre and how that affected both he and Tamlin. The stability (illusion of?) he had grown accustomed too (even during Amarantha's reign), began to crumble and the threat of a war was pressing down on them all.

Should Lucien have remained sassy while worrying his friend and his other friends fiance was being tortured? Should he have been feisty knowing they were preparing to ally with the KoH in order to try and get her back? While his friend had taken to threatening him? While his friend was falling apart? While being sexually harassed by Ianthe than having to perform the Rite with her? It's funny how they claim Gwyn won't be ready to leave the library in her book or for sex with Az years after her SA but expect Lucien to be an absolute hoot while his was going on.

Should he then have been sassy knowing that Feyre was plotting the downfall of Tamlin in book 3? After finding out that his lost mate wasn't actually his mate and that his real mate had been taken by his enemy? Should he have been cracking jokes after his magic was stolen and he nearly died trying to fight his way to Elain's side to make sure she was alright? Should he have then been the life of the party while surrounded by multiple characters treating him like dirt in the NC?

Should he be witty and fun and snarky upon the realization that he had no place to go except the human lands after the war? When Tamlin gave him a black eye and cut lip?

SJM isn't putting Lucien through all of this so Az can lead a book with Elain. SJM is putting Lucien through all this so he becomes the ultimate underdog story. In an interview, someone specifically asked SJM if we were going to see the return of sassy Lucien and she said something along the lines of, "I hope so, he's going through a lot right now." The author knows exactly what she's doing with his character and it's not because he's being downgraded. Downgraded men don't get an upgrade to their father and Court they belong to. Downgraded men don't have the author confirming (after ACOMAF had already been written, the book she made Elain and Lucien mates) that Lucien has always been one of her favorite characters. Downgraded men don't school Cassian in his own book with a single word.

"Easy," Lucien said.

Cassian snarled.

"Easy," Lucien repeated, and flame sizzled in his russet eye. The flame, the surprising DOMINANCE within it, hit Cassian like a stone to the head, knocking him from his need to kill and kill and kill whatever might threaten -

If the author wanted us to believe that Elain and Lucien have no chemistry than she would not have had any reason to have Elain ignore him. Instead they would have shared many conversations on page and we would have seen that lack of chemistry playing out in real time. Instead she had Elain cut off communication with Lucien the second she no longer mourned for Graysen to the extent she once did. That's because a single Elain is an Elain that's going to fall in love with Lucien way too quickly, an Elain who shares very obvious chemistry with him and that can't happen before their book.

#pro elucien #elucien #pro lucien vanserra

[nethhiri]

Marooned: Chapter 38

Kid x FemReader x Killer

Warning: Another all smut no plot chappie! (feat. Heat kinda; also feat. everyone's favorite: inappropriate use of devil fruit power)

Sticky Situations

It was only curiosity. You weren't a pervert. It's not your fault sound travelled easily through the walls. You were walking past Kid's cabin when some distinct noises beckoned you to press your ear against the door. Did people do this when me and Kid were...?  Maybe you should bring up the subject of sound proofing certain rooms. There was a string of groans and grunts that sounded like Kid. The other person was Killer, telling Kid to relax. Heat rose to your face listening to Kid's cursing and demands that Killer go harder. You batted your ear, as it was starting to itch. Wait. In a split second, the door opened and Kid was tugging you in by the ear with his devil fruit. 

"Tsk." Kid pointed to your ear, "Might wanna take that off if ya don't want me to know yer peeping outside the door."

Your eyebrows knit together, puzzled. "Why aren't you both naked?" Kid had his shirt off. That's it. And they didn't have time to get dressed before Kid pulled you in. 

Kid barked out a laugh. "Forward aren't we? If ya want us, all ya hafta do is ask."

"No that's not-. I thought you guys were..." You made sex gestures with your hands and moved your eyebrows up and down suggestively.

Even Killer laughed at that. "I was helping Kid get a knot out of his shoulder."

Somehow this was more embarrassing than walking in on actual sex. "I see." Now the noises made sense. "I'll see myself out."

"Not so fast." Kid pulled you by the ear again until you were in front of him. "I know yer avoiding me since Killer spilled the beans that I was gonna yell at ya." 

"Noooo." Lie. You weren't scared obviously. You really didn't want to get sucked into some kind of 'you need to be more careful' bullshit. 

"I'm not gonna yell at ya."

"You're not?" Before you knew it, you were bent over his knee. "Hang on a minute. Let's talk about this."

"We could have if ya didn't avoid me." Kid tugged at your pants until your ass was exposed. "The time fer talking is over," he said with a sinister chuckle.

You played along gladly. The last thing you wanted was a serious conversation. You couldn't stop yourself from giggling. This would be fun. Snooping had its perks.

"Fuck ya giggling about?" Kid cracked you on the ass with his metal hand, hard enough to leave a mark.

You yelped. "I love when Captain Kid is mean t'me."

Killer crouched in front of you. "Count out loud or he starts over." He tapped the chin of his mask. "How many, Kid?"

"I think 10 should do it." Kid added, "Oh and ya can't heal it either or I'm gonna do it twice as hard next time."

Smack!

"One," you still giggled. 

"I don't think you're doing it hard enough." Killer mused.

Smack!

"T-two." Your grin faltered.

Smack!

"Three." 

By the tenth spank, the bottom of your ass was cherry red. Kid's hand was so big its print took up most of the space. Tears pricked at your eyes and you yelped at him even resting his hand on the tender area. It was going to have a nice bruise tomorrow. 

"Not so funny now, is it?"

"No, Sir." He thwapped you again and you yipped. "What was that for?!"

"Fer being a little shit." 

"Eleven. You didn't count that one." Killer looked at Kid. "Looks like you gotta start over."

"Wait that one didn't count! Please don't." You gave Killer your best puppy dog eyes and turned to look at Kid to do the same. "I'll be good. I swear."

Kid tugged your pants back up and flipped you up to sit on his lap, earning a whimper from you. He grinned, "What's wrong, princess?"

"We're not fucking?" Was this not foreplay? 

"This a punishment. Fucking is a reward." Killer patted your head.

You stared at them incredulously. "You're kidding right?" They both had shit-eating grins across their faces. The real punishment was winding you up and doing nothing about it. You stood up angrily. "You wanna play this game? Fine." You were going to get them to crack before you. They wanted you to beg and you weren't going to let them have the satisfaction.

You left in a huff, nearly hitting Heat with the door as you left. You almost walked past him, turning on your heel to see his red face. You cocked your head. "Heat," you started in an accusatory tone, "what did you hear?" It was a bit hypocritical to be mad at him for being a pervert. You weren't mad. But maybe he could help you. Several thoughts went through your head: you could fuck him and get relief that way, he could help you concoct a revenge plan, possibly combine those two things in some way. You didn't want to make Kid and Killer jealous, you just wanted them to crack first. 

"N-nothing." He wouldn't meet your gaze. 

"Are you busy?" 

He straightened up, "No. Can I... help you with something?" He wasn't going to say no to a quickie.

"I need intel." 

It started with you wearing the tiny black leather shorts and the deep red corset top you had bought a while back with Heat. You knew it would drive Kid wild to see the bruising on your ass peek out from the legs of the shorts. Shorts was a strong word. They were closer to panties than shorts with the way your cheeks weren't completely covered. Heat didn't mind helping you. He would win, too, watching you slink around half-naked. You could feel Kid's eyes devour you from wherever he was. Another time, you wore a leather harness adorned with metal accents under your clothes, with panties to match. You knew Kid could sense the metal with his power and feel every curve along with your body heat. It was taking everything in him not to play with the metal bits, he knew he wouldn't be able to control himself. He was about to crack. What pushed him over the edge was the night you wore a metal butt plug and had a matching metallic egg in your pussy to dinner. Heat helped acquire the items from Kid's personal collection. Kid could feel every time you clenched to keep the egg from falling out and every time you squirmed for friction. He had broken out in a sweat on his forehead.

Kid was vulnerable to the obvious things. Killer was more difficult because his expressions were hidden and you couldn't tell if it was working. In the mornings you would ask if he needed to check and make sure you didn't heal the bruises. You took one of the shirts he had let you borrow and made it into a skin tight babydoll crop top with your fruit. You wore that, sans bra, and some little jean shorts once to help him in the kitchen, "accidentally" brushing against him whenever the opportunity arose. Another time, you enjoyed a popsicle when you were sunning yourself on deck while he happened to be at the helm. You about caused him to have a heart attack when one afternoon he came to prep dinner and found you sitting on the counter in a tiny skirt, legs parted just enough that he could see you didn't have panties on. What really got to him, was at the same diner that had Kid sweating, you sat across from him and rubbed at the crotch of his jeans with your feet. Heat let you in on a few fantasies that Killer had. 

What did Heat get out of it? Well, you let him know when the plan was going into action so he could watch, using your fruit to make a tiny peephole in the wall across from Kid's bed. 

Once you knew you had them, you excused yourself and let yourself into Kid's cabin. The smirk never left your face as you ran into Kid's closet to get one of his old feather coats. You were going to strip in the closet but wanted to pay Heat back appropriately. You donned Kid's coat and laid on his bed. You didn't have to wait long, as the door flew open and Kid stepped in with his first mate close behind. You didn't miss the way Kid's eyes widened slightly when he caught sight of his coat. 

"What the hell do ya think yer doing?"

"I don't know what you mean."

Kid grabbed your chin. "Ya know exactly what I mean, doll." 

You hummed with a smirk on your face, rolling on your back so the coat fell open.

Killer made a noise of appreciation before stripping his shirt and sliding behind you with his legs caging you in.

You almost regretted wearing Kid's coat because otherwise you would have been able to lean into Killer's bare chest. Still, you let your head rest on his shoulder, arching your back to push yourself up high enough to put your lips to his neck. The rough skin of his hands running down your body gave you goosebumps. They stopped to knead at your breasts, your hips, your thighs. It was clear Killer had a penchant for the fleshier parts of your body. Small moans left your lips as you pressed them against the skin of his neck, every so often giving him a nip. He moved your legs to rest on the outside of his, spreading you wide open. A thick finger circled your entrance, making you whine. 

Kid sat at the foot of the bed, sans clothing, lazily stroking himself and watching Killer play you like a fiddle, using his powers to alternate moving the egg and plug around. Fuck you looked so good wide open, pussy glistening and Killer had barely touched you. He wasn't going to give in to your teasing until he saw you laid out in his coat. There was no way he could let that image go to waste. As soon as Killer was done finger fucking you, he was going to dive in face first. Kid didn't understand how Killer held out this long without fucking you proper, but if you had taunted him as well as you taunted Kid, he was probably close to giving in.

Killer could feel his dick throb in his jeans, leaking precum. Every time he felt your cunt clench against his fingers, his cock strained against its confines. He could feel you squirm more and more against him as he worked a second and third finger in. The hand that wasn't occupied was lightly closed around your throat. He liked listening to the way your moans get raspier when he added pressure. 

"Killer... please." You rolled your hips into his hand, pressing your clit harder into his thumb. "M'close."

"Go ahead. Cum on my fingers. Cum so your captain can watch." 

The low voice in your ear and the breath ghosting the skin of your neck sent you crashing over the edge. "Oh f-uck, Kill-er." He held your legs open as they threatened to squeeze together. You twitched as he pulled his fingers back, opening your mouth so you could suck the juices from them. You whined when they didn't come, looking down to see Kid cleaning them off instead, leaving red stains at the base of Killer's fingers. You hadn't even felt him climb up the bed. 

Kid yanked you down a little so he could wrap his arms underneath your legs. "M'gonna wear this pussy like an oxygen mask," he said, more or less talking to himself. For a moment he took the time to appreciate the pink, glistening folds before him, engorged with the increased blood flow and the base of the plug snugly nestled between your cheeks. Then he went to work, groaning as the taste of your arousal hit his tongue. He wasn't kidding. Kid buried his face in your sex, dipping his tongue as deep as it would go, greedily lapping up the juices that spilled when you came. He moved the metallic egg in time with his rhythm, driving you insane. It made his cock hurt how badly he wanted to bury in your walls.

Your head rested on Killer's chest so you had a good view. It was a good thing Kid had you locked in place with his grip because you would be writhing all over the place with how intense the actions of his tongue and the use of his powers were. Every time you jerked away, he gave you a noise of displeasure, kind of a weak growl. The only time he withdrew his tongue was to bully your clit with it, making you buck when he grazed his teeth against it. Your previous orgasm made you incredibly sensitive, and he had you on the edge again already.

Killer was throughly enjoying how much you were enjoying yourself as he played with your breasts. He could tell by the way your breaths caught in your throat and the near incessant noises you were making, that you were close again. "Kid, she's gonna cum. Poor thing can't even form the words to tell you." 

You whined, but he was right. It was embarrassing how quickly you melted for them. The wave of tingling heat overcame you almost immediately after he said that. You felt a brief flood of wetness and heard sloppy sounds as Kid worked you through your orgasm. You panted hard and opened your eyes. You saw Kid put his googles back on his forehead, apparently having moved them down at some point. 

Kid saw you looking, "What? I was in the splash zone."

"I can't fucking stand you." You laughed. 

"Hah?! What was that?" Kid tugged you right out of his coat, flipping you onto your stomach. He teased the butt plug and egg in and out a few times, before removing the egg completely and putting the plug firmly back in its place, earning a squeak from you. "Tsk, wee mouse is overstimulated, is she?"

Killer tossed the coat aside and scooted further down the bed. He grabbed you and laid back flat, so your chests were flush. Then you felt Kid on top of you. His weight sandwiching you against Killer was making you wild. If only Killer would take his pants off, it would be perfect. Kid hiked one of your legs up, burying himself in you. You both groaned at the feeling. 

"I can still feel ya twitching on my cock, dirty lass," Kid teased. "Tell Killer how good I make ya feel. Maybe he'll finally let ya have it." 

You buried your face in Killer's neck, moaning, as Kid started to fuck you. "Feels so good to be f-fucked by a big c-cock." You attacked the other side of Killer's neck so that he would marks to match the ones you had left earlier, taking breaks to moan dirty things in his ear. "Don't you w-wanna stretch me out, too?" You rubbed your hand against the hardness in his jeans. "Please. Please let me." You moaned louder briefly at a particularly hard thrust from Kid. "I love w-hen Cap'n makes me cum all over his c-cock." Even your own dirty words were affecting you. "Let me c-um on your cock, K-Killer." After that, you couldn't form any more sentences. Kid's brutal thrusts had you screaming into Killer's shoulder. 

You felt Killer grab your wrist and guide your hand to his length, which at some point, had been partially freed. It was still within his underwear, though it was much more manageable when it wasn't under the tough denim. Gripping him through the fabric, you jerked him off. You could feel his girth pulse under your hand. Just thinking about having it inside you made your pussy clench. You whined in protest when Kid repositioned you, tugging your hips up and back, pushing your top half down. You couldn't wrap your hand around Killer at this angle, and with the way Kid was pounding your cervix into oblivion, at the same time playing with the plug, however you could feel Killer's erection against your stomach. Under your own cries of pleasure, you could hear soft huffs from under Killer's mask as the motions of Kid fucking you caused your stomach to rub against Killer. You felt his hips move as he rubbed himself against you even more. There was something so erotic about him so desperate to get off that he was thrusting against your stomach. That in itself caused the coil in your core to tighten, but when you heard him moan and felt his cock throb against you with a sticky sensation spreading on your skin, the coil snapped. 

This orgasm was the most powerful one of the three that they managed to give you. You shook as the pleasure took over your body, cunt gripping Kid so tightly that it forced him to his own climax. He pulled your hips tightly to him and ground his cock up into you harder. Your mixed fluids spilled onto your thighs. You could feel your walls flutter with aftershocks. Rolling  off Killer to the space next to him, you looked down at the mess on your stomach. 

"Damn, Killer," You said, looking at the mess on his own stomach to match. Kid spread your knees to look at his fine work and bent down to press his tongue into your overly sensitive clit. You jumped and he laughed at you before trailing his tongue up to lick a stripe through Killer's semen. 

Kid stood up and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Ya wouldn't get so pent up like that if ya let one of us take care of ya more often." He looked like he was in thought.

You looked up at Killer. Smug with the fact that not only did you tempt him but you did it enough that he let you touch him, too.

He seemed to know what you were thinking and sat up, running a hand over your cheek. "Soon, breadcrumb." 

You were both startled when Kid banged his fist against the wall. "Heat! Ya fuckin pervert!" Kid could sense the various metals that made up his outfit, caught the same way he caught you. He touched the small peephole. Kid squinted. "What's this?" He immediately rounded on you. "Yer a sneaky one. Now I get it." 

Killer cocked his head to the side, intrigued by Kid's outburst. 

Kid continued, "Yer working with Heat!" He looked at Killer. "Heat was helping her behind the scenes and she made it easier for him to watch in exchange!" Kid laughed darkly. "So that's how ya got yer hands on this," Kid used his magnetism to move the butt plug, getting you to yelp again. Kid nodded, clearly thinking about what to do with this information. He looked at you. "Ya wanna wear it so bad? Ya can keep it in until I tell ya to take it out." 

It turned out, Kid had Heat in the same situation as you. Realizing it when you both paused at the same moments during the day when Kid decided to fuck with you, trying to contain twitches and moans. Or at meal times when you both jumped in your seat. One particularly good moment, which Kid was quite proud of, was when he made you and Heat spar, playing with both of you while you fought. He could tell you both went off somewhere together afterwards, probably to relieve each other. He released you from the punishment after that, satisfied with the show he got. 

#I meant to just start the chap with a funny little misunderstanding and then it turned into a whole thing my bad #mini #x reader #eustass kid #one piece #massacre soldier killer #marooned #kid x reader x killer #killer x reader #eustass kid x reader #all smut no plot

[majaloveschris]

That pic is cute but all I can see is when Chris wants to sell something he can, meaning, if people are questioning if his marriage and relationship are real yet we clearly can see he still shows affection to others while unknowingly being filmed, yet he struggles to do that with, the woman with the disappearing ring, when he’s being filmed knowingly and unknowingly, then there’s your truth people. 😎

Remember the park video when he wasn’t aware he was being recorded and his hand went in his pocket as she reached for it once she saw the lady filming them.

Remember the VF video of him seeing the camera and then pretending to be affectionate towards her.

Remember the VF video of him not knowing he’s being filmed and eyeing other women and then noticing the camera and trying to play it off.

Now we seem to have partially returned to the Chris we all came to know and love or he’s just relaxed as he’s in his element. But my thoughts are running rampant so…..let’s discuss.

If Chris was actually in this based on love and not some Hollywood pr, there’d be no questioning anything at least not to the extent it’s gone. There’d be no major plot holes. 🤭

If Chris was cool with said person in some Hollywood PR stunt, maybe things would be done more naturally like ….*cough* Taylor Swift and Travis. (Believe what ya want but I think they are PR and doing a damn good job of it) #TeamTT ❤️ 😂

Now back to Chris….if Chris was against this or the person involved regardless if he initially signed up for it or not, he would probably drag his feet if he couldn’t end things and boy would you lookie there, he’s been dragging his feet like hell even after claiming to be “married”. Meaning if Chris wanted us to believe this were legit, we wouldn’t be here discussing their bs over the past three years.

Imagine being a celeb and KNOWING people are online questioning you and your spouse’s marriage. If he truly loved or gave a damn about her, He’d have shut that down quick.

This is why I don’t bother arguing because in due time this is going to end, he’ll move on and once he’s in an actual relationship, the ones who currently think this is “real” will clearly see the stark contrast between Chris Evans in love vs Chris Evans in some Hollywood bullshit. I rest my case. 👩‍⚖️

They made a red carpet debut and all most could do was laugh. This fandom still rides for this man even when they are mad at him. Yes, this situation is stupid but man the jokes, the pure shade, the letting this girl know we aren’t buying what she’s tried and miserably failed to sell is Icing on the flipping cake!

👏

Also…..the flag mixup will never NOT be funny. 😂 GO LIBERIA!!!! 🇱🇷

Of course, he could sell this whole thing if he wanted to, but he just doesn't want to.

That park video says more than a thousand words. The fact that he didn't want to hold her hands and put his into his pockets when he thought no one was watching says a lot. They do everything for the camera. They are always trying to be sweet and all of that, but they can't keep up the act for so long, which we could see on the VF red carpet. Yeah, they tried playing the happy newlyweds when the camera was watching, when most of the time they were just standing next to each other and talking to other people.

As you said, there are a lot of plotholes. And I know people must be tired of me always bringing the wedding ceremony's location up, but that's my favorite example. Where was it? In Cape Cod? In his Boston-area home? Were the ceremony and party at two different locations? Different outlets mention different places and locations when this should be the easiest one to get, especially since these are all coming from "sources." The same goes for everyone who was at the wedding. Nobody saw them during that one year, yet now everybody is spotting them. Why are they saying they are private when they are putting out video dumps, are at different award shows, and call the paps on themselves?

I think most of the time, when it comes to celebrity couples, especially if one of them is not that well-known, the thought of them being PR is always there, and there will always be people who think certain couples are PR. I'm sure there were couples who were solely PR, and people didn't even figure it out because they were good at selling it. Maybe because they were comfortable around each other, and even if they weren't in love, they liked each other as people or even as friends. However, to me, their fake relationship lacks everything that would make it believable. I don't really think Chris thought this through, and I don't think he is capable of selling a relationship with someone he doesn't have feelings for. I don't necessarily mean "love" (in love with someone) here, but just love (liking the person as a friend, respecting them, wanting to be around them).

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #chris and alba relationship #cevans-love

[shatcey]

Names in IkeVil

All combinations of first and last names I find extremely good. They sound catching and are easy to remember. It has always been a challenge for me to remember the names of new characters, but here… I had only one problem. I've always confused William with Victor. To me, all names that start with the same letter (in this case, they sound like they start with the same letter) are very similar. And here not only one letter, but also the first syllable sound the same. You know… that was tough. It's only then I start calling them by pet names (Willy and Vic) I finally start hearing them differently.

There is a pseudoscience that claims that all words or names can be described in a few words that convey the emotions you experience when you hear them. It called phonosemantics. I cannot say that this is real science, because there is no (and cannot be) proof… everything is incredibly personal. But it exists, and I find the concept very fascinating.

But first let's talk about how I hear their names. Random order. Don't look for deep meaning.

Liam Evans. It sounds very soft and sweet to me, like marshmallows. It's very streamlined and even shapeless, but it's still extremely pleasant to hear and easy to remember. It's a good name for an actor.

Jude Jazza. Juicy. That's the first thought. It sways pleasantly in the mouth, I wanna repeat it again and again. To me, it sounds like a sour candy with a sweet core that constantly hits the teeth with an unpleasant, but for some reason attractive sound.

William Rex. A very loud and strong name. It sounds like the name of a political leader or something. But in the end it softened slightly, so the impression changed a bit. Now it feels like a warm blanket. I can't see him as food. A shame…

Harrison Gray. Another strong name. But it sounds softer, more stable… there are no sharp corners in it. It is strong, but soft. I don't know why, but it feels like something with carrot in it. Not juice, maybe cake… I'm sorry, Harry… You're not strawberry milk.

Roger Barel. I don't know why this name feels like a balm that smooths all problems. It's warm and cozy. It's like sitting by the fireplace with a cup of cocoa. Funny… I don't like this guy, but his name makes the most calming impression on me.

Alfons Sylvatica. Very unusual. I see it as something with a lot of spices, like an Indian food, but the taste is constantly changing. I love it. I like the softness of his name, how unique and very odd it sounds… This name is not easy to pronounce, but there is something alluring about it. I really like it.

Elbert Greetia. His name gave the impression of something big but soft. It sounds strong at first, but in the end it sounds like something small and even shy one… For some reason, he reminds me of cotton candy.

Ellis Twilight. Very soft, very smooth, but somehow cold… For some reason, I see a picture of being outside in the middle of the night (perhaps due of the meaning) in a field of flowers or on the riverbank… perhaps both. It's a summer night, soft and calm, with lots of stars in the sky. It's a little cold, but not enough to feel chills. Compare with food… maybe ice cream. It's incredibly delicious, but if you're not careful all the time, you may catch a cold.

Victor. It feels small (funny, considering the character), but soft, with a lot of cream.

And this is how phonosemantic analysis describes these names*:

Liam Evans. Good, safe, beautiful, rounded, smooth, bright, kind, joyful, simple.

Jude Jazza. Manly, brave, rude, big, strong, mighty, loud.

William Rex. Safe, nice, rounded, beautiful, big, majestic.

Harrison Gray. Manly

Roger Barel. Brave, mighty, courageous, strong, rude, big, loud, majestic, bright.

Alfons Sylvatica. Quiet, weak, frail, dim.

Elbert Greetia. Big, simple, good, beautiful.

Ellis Twillight. Nice, beautiful, safe, big, majestic, rounded.

Victor. There are no pronounced characteristics.

* I haven't found an easy way to get these characteristics in English. There are many articles, but I'm too lazy to read to figure out how to do it myself (and I don't really have time for this). I need a form where I can enter a name and click a button to get the result. But I didn't find anything like this in English. So I used transliteration into my native language, entered it into forms, found the result, translated it back into English (yes, I had time for that!!!). And suddenly I discovered that I probably don't pronounce all the names correctly. The biggest issue was with Greetia. I always pronounce it the way I see it [Gritia], but the translator says it should be [Grisha]. And depending on how it's pronounced, I get different results. Not much different, but still… So I choose the words the way I found it more correct.

I was a little offended because of Alfons, but you cannot change the facts, aren't you? And Victor, as always, is mysterious…

Take a look for yourself. I think there's a lot in common with the characters. So maybe devs are using this "science" when choosing their names. Or it's just a coincidence… Or this thing really works…

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#cybird ikemen #cybird #ikemen series #ikemen games #ikemen villians #ikemen villains #ikevil #liam evans #ikemen villains liam #ikevil liam #ikemen liam #jude jazza #ikemen villians jude #ikemen jude #ikevil jude #william rex #ikevil william #harrison gray #ikemen villains william #ikemen villains harrison #ikevil harrison #roger barel #ikemen roger #ikemen villains roger #ikevil roger #alfons sylvatica #ikemen villians alfons #ikevil alfons #ikemen alfons #elbert greetia