#don't say i never add any angst okay | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daegall · 8 months

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☆ drunk confessions.

➷ in which a drunk person's words is a sober person's thoughts.

pairing: (opla!)zoro x (implied fem!) reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, slight crack, mutual pining, friends to lovers!AU (ish..?)

warnings: lots and lots of alcohol, none after that but if you find one i can add lmk!! (+ lots and love of love for smiley zoro!!!!)

word count: 3.4k words (SHEESH)

a/n: requested by @acupnoodle !! tysm bae for the request, i hope you like it!!!! my inbox is now open for requests for opla (mostly zoro tbh LOL) if anyone would like to request ^^ (make sure its sfw as i am a minor!!!)

This is sick. This is just so sick.

Okay, maybe Zoro could be exaggerating. But what else is supposed to think, when you, the you who he has feelings for, is in the kitchen with Sanji, the annoying cook who he bickers with at least 5 times a day?

And especially since the day Sanji got him to blurt out about his feelings for you while he was drunk?

Zoro never thought he'd say it, but maybe he should lay low with the booze.

The swordsman can only grumble and huff as Luffy goes on and on about something—he hears something about Shanks. But all Zoro can do, is replay the memory of you sitting on the counter, right next to Sanji, who was peeling a few apples, and with a small frown on your face at that.

First, he thought maybe the cook had hurt you in any way. Then he realized it couldn't be, you'd be marching away from him. Then he assumed it could be you, with some personal trouble. But then you would always, without a fail, go to Zoro for help in that case.

Then, Zoro came to his final conclusion.

He had hurt you in some way.

But how could he? He'd never even consider the thought—he'd kill anyone who'd hurt you, because he cares—

No.

There's no way.

Sanji didn't tell you about his feelings... right?

Indeed he didn't. But Zoro doesn't know that.

What he also doesn't know, is the fact that you went to Sanji to talk about your best friend himself.

"He's been avoiding me," You mumble out weakly, picking at a few crumbs left on the counter. Gross, but hey, it's a pirate ship. There could be much worse things than a few specks of food. "I don't remember if I did anything wrong,"

Sanji knows you didn't. In fact, it was all his fault that Zoro was avoiding you. At the moment, having the usually stoic, cold swordsman admit his feelings for you with a dopey smile, the most loving tone as he describes every little thing about you, it seemed like the best thing on Earth. The man who everyone thought would never break, broke, all because of you.

But now, Sanji thinks it's stupid. He thinks it's stupid that Zoro's avoiding you because one person knew about his feelings. How cowardly could he be? But then again, he has absolutely no experience in relationships.

Sanji offers you an apple slice, his voice comforting and soft. "I don't think it's you," He smiles when you take the apple, taking a bite. "you could never wrong him."

"Then what is it?" Your voice is laced with such helplessness, a tone of worry and guilt buried underneath. It breaks Sanji's heart to see you like this. You play with the bracelet on your wrist, something Zoro had bought you when you were at a small town. You hadn't taken it off since, and it's been 3 months.

3 months marks your feelings for him as well.

"Why don't you ask him?"

At this question, your head whips to Sanji's direction, shaking instantly. "No! Hell no, it'd make him hate me even more!"

"Y/N..." Sanji's hands are suddenly on your shoulders, his eyes glistening with genuine care. It shocks you how serious he is about the whole situation. "he doesn't hate you. You might be the only one he genuinely feels safe with, you hear me?"

It's silent for a moment, as you bask in his words, the words in which hit you unexpectedly deeply. Yes, there have been times you've patched him up after a particularly harsh fight, yes, you both have shed tears together, and yes, he lets you touch his swords and lets you use—holy shit, Roronoa Zoro does care about you!

You decide to ask him, just as Sanji had suggested you do.

Zoro, on the other hand, has a different plan.

Despite the wallowing pit in his stomach, occupied by the green monster labeled as jealousy, Zoro knows you wouldn't go for Sanji. He's like an older brother to you.

But alas, he cannot control his emotions. And so, he's come up with possibly the worst plan ever.

Roronoa Zoro is going to flirt with you. The same way Sanji flirts with Nami.

It's stupid, he knows it's stupid, but Zoro is desperate. He's never felt this way towards anyone, ever, and his pride is way too big for him to ask advice from anyone on the crew.

"Zoro!"

Said man's heartrate doubles the moment he realizes it's your voice, your sweet, sweet voice calling out to him. Oh, how special he feels now, to have you by his side, to have you care for him and make him smile, how has he not realized how blessed he was just in your presence?

Okay, maybe Zoro was exaggerating.

He glances over his shoulder, attempting to act cool with a neutral face, as he murmurs. "What is it?"

As cold as ever, his gaze pierces yours. But... there's something different in it. It's colder.

Of course, this wasn't Zoro's intentions, clearly just trying to act cool and not confess his feelings for you right then and there, but the ice in his tone, his gaze, his aura, has your heart sinking.

Maybe he really did hate you now.

"Do you mind if we could talk?"

God, just the thought of having a chat with you has Zoro's heart soaring, his whole mind and being flooding with tenderness knowing that you'd always talk to him.

"What's up?" He sighs, fully turning around to you. His body language is the usual, calm and collected, the usual hand on his swords. Zoro is thankful you can't get a look inside, you'd be seeing a whole zoo and his running thoughts about how pretty you look today.

You step closer to Zoro.

"Did... did I do something wrong?"

This time, Zoro's heart twists in confusion.

Wrong? You? How could you ever think that?

"Because if I have, don't hesitate to tell me—"

"—your face."

What?

Holy shit, Zoro thinks you're ugly?

"...Is this your way of telling someone they're ugly?"

To be frank, you're kind of glad it's not about anything that you did, that would break you.

However, him directly telling you you're ugly? You never really cared if anyone called you ugly, but Roronoa Zoro? The only man you'd every trust? Your own crush?

Your heart twists in pain.

"No! No, that's not what I meant,"

Zoro's heartstrings tug at the sight of your pained face, the frown curling on your lips, he should never open his mouth ever again.

"I-I just meant that... you..."

He feels his cheeks warm up. Is he blushing?!

"you look really pretty today,"

Those were the very last words you would have expected coming out of Zoro's mouth.

A silence envelops the air. It's... awkward, to say the least, but a little endearing, with the both of you shyly looking away.

Zoro thinks you're pretty.

Absolutely stunning with your pursed lips trying to contain a smile, the glint in your eyes known as relief, and a little hint of mischief.

"Thanks," You mumble quietly, shrugging, though you're a far cry from casual.

Zoro mirrors you, leaning his hip onto the ship railing. "Don't mention it."

And you don't. Not for the next few hours, at least.

To say Zoro's plan of flirting with you failed, was quite the understatement. Sure, he finally got to say what he's been holding in for months, but he was expecting Sanji level flattery, the teasing smiles and confidence, not whatever the two of you went through.

Zoro feels like an idiot.

You, on the other hand, quite enjoyed it. it was genuine, and unlike Sanji's flirting, it's left you thinking about the moment for hours after it's passed. It seemed so genuine, carefully thought out (though it wasn't) and soft, something you didn't know Zoro could be.

You like Zoro's flirting much more than Sanji's. Though, that may be due to the fact that you have feelings for the swordsman.

The sun sets, leaving the pirate ship quiet (for once) and calm, just like the ocean, with it's soft waves and tranquil energy.

What isn't tranquil tonight, is you.

Instead of going to sleep, you've decided to have a drink. Yes, you may have stolen from Zoro's hidden stash in which he only showed you. Yes, you may have had more than one drink.

3, to be precise.

Why? Well, how are you supposed to go on the night? Simply thinking over and over about Zoro's words? His words that have left a permanent place in your heart? Your mind and soul?

How are you supposed to spend the night thinking about a man who you were sure hated you, who called you pretty and set your heart on fire, without a drink?

Besides, what's the worst that could happen?

Maybe the fact that Zoro wants a drink tonight as well.

Okay, yeah, he did say he was gonna lay low with the booze. But bad habits die hard. He's bound to drink a little here and there.

The moment he gets to the kitchen, Zoro is shocked at the sight of you, sitting on the counter, with a bottle of his beer in your hands. Your eyes are droopy, almost sleepy, a stupid lopsided smile spreading on your lips. The bottle has Zoro's name on it, written on the tape and pasted lousily over the brand name, and seeing you eye the writing and mumble his name has Zoro's heart pounding, filling with such unexpected fondness for you, ready to burst as such a volcano would.

"That's my booze,"

Your eyes blink tiredly, with no energy, as they trail to Zoro, and when you spot him, he can't believe the way your frown completely transforms into a bright grin.

"Zoro! Hey! Yeaahh, it has your name on it,"

He's shocked when you extend your hand with the bottle in it, shaking it side to side lightly. "Wanna sip?"

Your 'p' pops, and Zoro can't help but find it utterly endearing.

"Don't mind if I do," He murmurs with a small smile, wrapping his fingers around the bottle. He doesn't miss the way you maneuver your fingers to brush with his, catching your smile once they've made contact. His fingers are warm, and slightly rough.

Life of a swordsman, you suppose.

When he takes a sip of the bottle, you scooch over on the counter, tapping the space beside you. "Come join me!" Under the low light of the moon shining through the window, you look unexpectedly elegant, despite your tipsiness, the rays settling on your cheek just right.

Zoro complies, but simply leans against the counter. He takes another swig. "Any reason as to why you're here alone? Drinking my booze?"

"Been thinking," you say simply, reaching over to fiddle with a bandage on Zoro's forearm. The action is an abrupt source of serotonin to him.

His voice is laced with care and curiosity, as he asks you, "Thinking about what?"

"You,"

Oh how you never fail to get him shy. His eyes grow wide, but with the little alcohol in his system, he supposes it could work as liquid luck for tonight.

"Yeah? What about me?"

You chuckle, drunkenly, your eyes flitting from the bandage on his arm to his own eyes, no hints of hesitation or doubt. "How pretty you are,"

"You think I'm pretty?"

"Mhm," You nod. A hand is placed on your cheek, as you lean on it and continue to gaze at Zoro, almost dreamily. "your smile is pretty,"

At the mention of his smile, it appears almost instantly, and causes you to swoon even more, if it were possible. "You like my smile?"

You sigh, your own grin joining his. "Always,"

You decide to elaborate even more, deciding your sober self will have to deal with the embarrassment of rejection later.

"And you've got these freckles on your cheeks and nose, from all the hours in the sun, I always tell you to use sunscreen,"

It's true, you do.

Zoro only chuckles lightly, growing fonder and fonder of you every time you speak.

"and I love how ambitious you are to become the worlds greatest swordsman. You're always the best. To me, at least."

God, Zoro might kiss you right then and there.

"And you're so caring for everyone on the crew, don't deny it, I always see the way you do! Helping Usopp clean the ship and tie knots, listening to Luffy's nonsense rambling and storing all the maps for Nami, even for Sanji! Always buying the right ingredients for him," You breathe out a soft laugh. "and you care about me too. I think. I mean, you're always there when I have a problem personally or not, sometimes I think maybe... we could have some connection, you know? And other days... it seems like you despise me."

What?

How could you ever think he could despise you? Sure, there are some instances where you disagree with each other, but he does not hate you. He could never even think about it.

Before Zoro could comment on it, you carry on, voice growing louder and louder.

"Did I mention I love your smile?"

Zoro can't help but chuckle, reaching over to brush a few strands of your hair from your eyes. Wow, that took him more confidence than he thought.

"Yes, you have, Y/N."

"Oh... then let me mention it more," A sheepish smile grazes your lips, as you lean in close to observe his smile once you realize he is.

"And your lips. They're pretty too,"

Your eyes squint as you lean in closer, so close that your noses brush against one another. Zoro doesn't find the will in him to lean in, neither to pull back either. He simply sits there, his heart growing softer and softer when you purse your lips and tilt your head, shaking it.

"they look lonely," you state. "wanna meet mine?"

Oh, you're cute.

With the confident, almost cocky smile on your lips, eyes growing wider and wider as Zoro starts laughing.

Through your drunken eyes, seeing him smile is one thing. One thing enough to set you rambling and rambling about how much you enjoy it. Hearing him laugh? You could talk about it for hours, but you'd have too many things to say at once, you'd be left speechless. And that's exactly what happens at the moment, as you're left gaping at the sweet melody of his laughs, simply keeping your loving gaze on him.

"I'm not kidding, Zoro." You mumble. "I love you, I do."

For months, Roronoa Zoro has been so unsure about himself around you. Is he enough? Will he ever be enough? But now, hearing you state that you love him, he's sure. He loves you too, more than he could ever comprehend, and he won't doubt himself anymore.

He leans in, bumping your foreheads together clumsily. Though it hurts for a moment, it's fond, caring, as he smiles softly at your drunk state.

You could just be drunk right now.

None of this could be true.

Zoro doesn't care. If it's true or not, there has to be a reason you're telling him this. He'll ask you when you're sober.

Speaking of, "I won't kiss you," He says.

Your heart plummets to the ground, you can feel it deep in your chest, crashing through the base of the ship and sinking to the bottom of the sea, buried under such hurt hearing his words.

It lifts a moment later, however, as he places his lips on your cheek lovingly, a kiss to your forehead following.

"not when you're drunk. Don't wanna take advantage of you,"

"But you're not—"

"—I know, but it won't feel the same,"

Really, all Zoro wants to do, is place just one kiss on your lips, your lips that pout as you look up at him, hold you so closely to him, finally accept his feelings and make a move.

But, he'll wait for the morning. He'd wait forever just for you.

And as he leaves, warning you to stop drinking his booze, you're left... with a half heart. Half full with love, knowing Zoro could very much feel the same way for you, half empty, sad to have made so much effort (getting drunk should not be the way to confess to your crush) just for him to leave you hanging.

That's on you, you suppose.

He makes a very good point about the whole 'taking advantage' thing.

You guess you'll be too much of a coward when you wake up sober, too scared to fully confess, too scared to even look at him.

Zoro could not disagree more. He swears, the moment the sun has risen and you're awake, he's going to make you his. All his to hold, all his to take care of and protect, all his to love.

And as the day starts, both your minds are instantly flooded with thoughts of the other. The moment you see him, yawning as he listens to Luffy's rambling, your heart starts racing.

You don't remember that much from last night.

All you remember is the feeling of Zoro's warm lips on your skin, his caring gaze, and the ridiculous amount of alcohol you had drank. Sure, it was a far cry from how much Zoro would usually drink, but it's still a big amount to you.

Zoro has last night's events imprinted in his mind, every lingering glance he sends your way, every shy smile the two of you share, the way you scurry away quickly with an embarrassed scrunch of your nose, it takes him back to the night.

And finally, some alone time.

You find Zoro in the kitchen, checking on his booze stash, the one you had invaded the night before.

"Sorry about that, by the way," You call out, announcing your presence.

Zoro's heart soars just at the sound of your voice, small, almost guilty, and when he turns around, seeing you sit on the counter, just as you had last night, he can't stop the smile from tugging his lips upward. "It's no problem," He shrugs. "you'd never bother me,"

Roronoa Zoro, the lone wolf, the harsh swordsman saying that to you says a lot.

He approaches your figure slowly, growing more and more confident once he's realized that's exactly what you want. It's exactly what he wants too.

Finally, he's stopped right in front of you, your knees brushing slightly against his shirt. You look down at your hands placed on your laps, too shy to say anything, nor even look up at him.

"Hey," A sudden touch at your chin shocks you, and you eventually melt against his hold as he tilts your head up to meet his eyes. Like a magnet, you grow closer collectively, up until Zoro has both his hands sitting by your hips, your noses once again brushing.

This scene seems familiar.

You conclude it's what had been done last night, when he had kissed along the skin of your cheeks.

"I'm not drunk anymore," You whisper out.

Zoro chuckles, causing your entire being to wave with warmth of safety and comfort. "Yeah, I can see that."

"So you gonna give me that kiss or—"

Zoro's lips feel much warmer than you expected. They feel complete, pressed against your softly, almost hesitantly. The moment your fingers graze against his jaw, he relaxes, leaning in deeper to not only kiss your lips, but your entire soul, with love and solace, finally coming to terms with his feelings.

God, does Roronoa Zoro love you so much. He loves the way your hands creep up to mess up his (already disheveled) hair, the sigh you let out against his lips, the way you chase his lips once he's pulled away.

"What exactly did I say last night?" You mumble against his lips once he's pulled away, grabbing at his hand to play lightly with his fingers.

"Well, you mentioned how much you loved my smile," Zoro chuckles. There he goes once again, with his pretty smile and laugh, leaving you speechless and starstruck. "like, a lot."

"Did I mention that I love you?"

Zoro feels a warmth bubble from his stomach, feeling it envelop his chest, his arms and fingers when you finally intertwine your hands in a lock, his cheeks as they redden, and his lips as he finally gives you one last flash of the smile you claim to adore so much.

It's love.

"Yeah," He leans in to press your foreheads together. "I think I love you more,"

#roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #zoro #one piece #one piece imagines #one piece x reader #roronoa zoro imagines #zoro imagines #one piece live action #opla #roronoa zoro live action #zoro live action

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usereddie · 17 days

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hi, y'all. for those of you who don't know, rio grande do sul, one of the southern states in brazil, is facing the worst tragedy in the state's history. heavy rains have caused flooding, bridges are collapsing, the people are without power, without internet, without access to safe housing, food, or water.

over three hundred cities have been affected. there are countless still to be rescued who have no way of searching for shelter because the roads are ruined and they have no way to get in or out of the floods.

i wanted to do something to help. this is my country, these are my people.

i'm going to do donation based fic commissions, inspired by gotcha for gaza @911actions which you should also support. i'll be signing up for that as a fic writer as well.

this is my ao3 in case you want to take a look.

the dollar is worth 5x the brazilian real at the moment. if you donate just $5 that's already 25BR. a $10 donation is 50BR. and it's going to a group of people who really need it.

after you donate, send proof of the donation and a oneshot prompt. for the most part, i'm okay with writing any trope, but i'll add a list under the cut.

brazilfoundation is currently accepting donations for the fundo luz alliance. all of the donations will be going towards helping rio grande do sul and the people there.

i can't promise i'll get to everything very quickly, but i will do my best to. either way, this money is going towards helping people.

thank you.

i write primarily for buddie and like writing them best romantically, but i will accept other ships if i have written for them before (and madney, because i've written for them and just never posted lol). gen relationships are good too. i'll write any of the firefam as friends, diaz siblings, buck and chris, etc.

tropes:

fluff. i love fluff i'll write it no problem. i can't think of a fluff trope i'm against.

doesn't have to be set in canon, either. i love an au.

should go without saying but no racism towards any of the poc characters.

no misogyny, either. i will not vilify any of buddie's girlfriends.

angst is good for the most part but i don't do main character death. in light of 7x07, infidelity — especially emotional infidelity — is something i really enjoy.

for smut, i don't like writing really intense scenes. d/s is great, feminization is great, crying, cock warming, breeding, overstim, edging, things like that i'm game.

i will not do graphic violence. so no physical abuse and no rape. it's very difficult to write for me.

if a prompt has something i don't know how to write/don't feel comfortable writing, i'll reach out and see if there's a different prompt or a different way to go about it.

my asks and dms are open :)

thanks so much.

#911 abc #buddie #rio grande do sul #brasil posting #my post

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norrisleclercf1 · 6 months

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You Can't Leave Me

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Female!Reader x Lando Norris

Rating: R

Words: 2.6K

Warnings: Pure and utter angst, some humor as a coping mechanism, hospitals, crashes, medical talk, it's just heartbreak guys I'm sorry

Our Boy Series Masterlist

Synopsis: Monza. Rain. Nothing could go wrong at the Temple of Speed

"You can't act up when sitting here, do you understand?" Elijah groans as his Dad points at him. Elijah should've said yes when his Papa asked him to sit at the Red Bull pit wall instead. "Dad, I'm 18. I think I can act like a big boy and sit on the pit wall." Lando tightens his glare as the rain pours down around them.

Monza. The temple of speed and the track everyone loved for the hard racing, especially this year. The battle for the WDC was tight this year, facing off between his Dad, Uncle Max, and Uncle Oscar, who was still killing it at McLaren. Charles wasn't having the best season, as he was there but not where he wanted it to be.

Charles never once complained, as he loved watching Lando race and showing everyone how amazing he was as a driver. "Elijah, don't give me lip," Lando grumbles as he fixes Elijah's jacket. "Dad can do it myself." He laughs, not caring that he is getting drenched in the rain. The fans would eat up his wet and wild look right now. "Elijah, just let him." Charles pops up behind his son, pulling him in for a kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, but I'm not a baby anymore." He groans, seeing the 3 of them on the big screen. Charles chuckles as the fans go wild and nods to the camera that quickly looks away. "Doesn't matter. You're our baby boy, and you'll get treated like it." Charles reaches out and pinches Lando's cheek, who slaps it away.

"The rain is letting up," Lando looks up to the sky, the rain dripping down his skin, and Elijah makes a face seeing the lovey-dovey face on his Papa's. "Yep, how about you two stop bullying your son and get ready." Elijah turns, smiling brightly, seeing his Uncle Max and Christian. "Hey, good lucky kiss?" Lando asks. Charles rolls his eyes and quickly dips, and they kiss with Elijah's body, blocking out any cameras.

"Oi, you too." Lando juts out his cheek, and Elijah whines loudly, shoving his Dad away. "I'm 18, Dad." Lando gets this look on his face but quickly wipes it out with a smirk. "Yeah, alright. I'll go get a kiss from your sister and brother anyway." Lando waves as he runs off into the garage. Charles looks Elijah up and down before shaking his head.

"Love you, Ducky," Charles whispers, entering the Mercedes garage. Turning, he sees Max slightly glaring at him. "What?" Max sighs and pulls Elijah into a side hug. "You should still give him kisses, Elijah; you never know when it'll be the last one." Max pats him as he yells back at GP he's coming. Rolling his eyes, Elijah slides on the RB headset and settles in for a long, wet, crazy Monza race.

"There's my girls," Lando beams, approaching you and Cecile. "Daddy!" Cecile beams as she hugs him tightly, Lando savoring the moment. He had this feeling. He couldn't explain it. Usually, he would be quick with his hugs and kisses, but this time, he let each one linger more.

"Everything okay?" Lando pulls away from Cecile, meeting your worried expression. "Yeah, of course, love." Lando makes a face at Callum, who giggles loudly with the large headphones on his head. "Just nervous," Lando adds, kissing you gently and then Callum on his cheeks. "Daddy!" Callum claps happily.

"Yes, buddy," Clearing his throat, he takes the 3 of you in before shooing you off to see Charles. "See you after the race!" "You better!" You tease back as one of the team members throws up an umbrella, leading you to the Mercedes garage. Lando takes 3 deep breaths, remembering his breath techniques to calm him down. Sliding down into the cockpit, he smiles at the little picture of his family and touches it softly. "Alright, let's go." He says into the radio, getting a reply.

"You know the last time you sat here, you were 8 and watched your Papa win." Christian talks into his headset, which has Elijah turning and smiling. "Yeah, I don't know who was happier. Ferrari or Uncle Max." Christian laughs, knowing all about Lestappen and how close they are. "Yeah, never seen a driver happier to lose a WDC, but here we are." Elijah chuckles. The picture of Max and Charles crying as they hugged was hanging up in their house. It was a gift from Max to Charles.

"Hey, are you sure it's okay for them to race in something like this?" Elijah wasn't one to worry about rain during a race, but something in his head told him it wasn't right. "Yeah, kid. They're okay. It's a Saftey Car start anyways." Christian waves off Elijah's worries, helping ease some of the younger one's tension. "I know, but….still," Elijah grumbles, looking at the screen as his Dad pulls up to the P2 spot behind his Uncle Oscar. "It'll be fine, besides," Christian moves and points to a button with his last name lit up. "If you get nervous, hit them, and you can talk to your Dad." Elijah gives him a tense smile and gently hits the button.

"Dad?" Letting it go, he waits for the familiar clicking and sighs, hearing Lando's voice fill his ears. "Hey, Ducky. Miss me already?" He jokes Elijah, smiling at the stupid nickname. "Be careful, old man or Uncle Carlos will jump down your throat." Lando shakes his head, the camera zooming in on the motion.

"I'm not old. That's your Papa." Lando lets go of the radio button and smiles, that feeling from earlier easing. The lights go out, and Lando follows the blinking lights of the Saftey Car and Oscar. He knew this track well. It was the first win for McLaren and a track he's always been great at. He had nothing to worry about.

"He's doing great, kid!" Christian laughs as the rain continues to batter the drivers and fans alike. Elijah was slightly glad he didn't have to race today. This rain was horrible. Clearly, not if the FIA was letting the race go on. "Dad, you're currently P1. Piastri is .2 behind you." Elijah, let's go of the button just once in a while, giving him an update. Glad that Christian was letting him do this.

Looking at the track map, he sees his Papa is battling Russel and the new rookie in McLaren for P4. But, sadly, they wouldn't be fighting for a podium too far back from his Uncle Max. Elijah smiles, clicking on the radio again to talk to his Dad, but the sound of screams has him looking up at the screen quickly.

There on the screen, through the thick clouds of smoke and rain laid in a bile of metal, was his Dad's car. Elijah doesn't know whose screams are louder, those in the stands or in the garage behind him. "Dad?" Elijah pleads, hoping that Lando will answer. "Dad? Are you okay?" It's static silence on the other end, Elijah choking on a laugh. This was some sick prank. Lando had to be okay.

"God dammit, Dad! Answer me! Are you okay?" Elijah rips his hand away as he pulls at his blonde locks, praying for some click of the radio or anything. The mechanics and everyone else around him were scrambling as the smell of burnt rubber and oil filled his lungs. "Daddy? Please, you've got to answer me." Elijah whimpers, finger white from how hard he pressed the radio button.

Strong arms wrap around Elijah's middle and pull him back. "No! No, Daddy! No, stop; I have to make sure he's okay! Daddy!" Elijah screams; people stop and stare as the arms pull harder, Elijah fighting. Another pair joins as they rip him away from the only comfort he's got. "No!" Like a wounded animal, Elijah roars as they pull him into the Red Bull garage. "Elijah, hey, it's me. Elijah, it's me!" He doesn't listen as he sobs, pulling at his hair as he tries his best to get back to the radio.

"Ducky," A broken whisper as Elijah finally looks up, seeing the grim look on his Papa's face. "No, no. Don't." He begs, seeing it was Carlos and Max holding him back. "He," Elijah chokes and sputters on spit as he breaks. People yell, rushing the cameras out as Charles moves to your side. Elijah couldn't bear to look at you and Cecile. His Dad had to be okay. He was okay. He is okay. "Eli, come on," Cecile whispers, pulling his hands out of his hair.

Cecile was stone cold; no emotion showed on her face. "Cece," she hauls her brother to his feet, with his weight supported by her two uncles. "The race is canceled. We're coming with you." Max leaves no room open for a fight as he grabs the keys out of Charles's hands.

Elijah doesn't remember the drive; one moment, he's in the garage screaming, and the next, numb in the hallways of an Italian hospital. Cecile was holding Callum as you were curled into Charles, sobbing loudly, Charles hiding his face in your hair. Max and Carlos caged Elijah to ensure he didn't bolt.

"He didn't answer me," Elijah whispered. Charles looked up at his son but could not comfort him. "He was probably unconscious. It happens." Max replies, playing with Lando's hat. "Not like that," You whimper; Charles shushes you as you release a fresh wave of sobs. "I'm going for a walk." Cecile blurts, handing the sleeping toddler off to Carlos.

"Cece, wait." Elijah reaches out for his sister, but she pulls back anger in her eyes. "Just let her go," Max whispers, watching as Cecile rounds a corner.

"Um, loved ones of Lando Norris-Leclerc?" Elijah stands quickly as the others just look at the nurse. "We're his loved ones. I'm his son." The nurse sighs and looks over their shoulder as a haggard-looking doctor walks over. "Is there an adult I can talk to?" The accent was thick, but Elijah understood him perfectly. "I am an adult! I'm 18. Look, can you tell us," "Ducky, stop." Charles stands and walks over, stopping next to him.

"I'm Charles Norris-Leclerc, his husband. Just," Charles takes a deep breath, gathering himself. "Is he alive? Is," Charles's chest shakes as he steadies himself. "Is my husband alive?" Elijah stares at his father, seeing the man who is usually so strong, broken before him. The doctor looks Charles up and down and rubs the back of his neck.

"Mr. Norris-Leclerc, I'm sorry," "No, no, he's not. He can't." Elijah whimpers, staggering back into his Uncle Carlos's chest. "Say it," Charles whispers, looking over at you. "I'm sorry, but he's in a medically induced coma." You stand, tripping over the chairs as you grasp Charles's arm. "He's alive?" The doctor nods, groaning as he tries to find the right words.

"He's got intracranial bleeding. That means his brain is bleeding. You don't want that. Not only that, he's got multiple broken bones and a ruptured spleen, and we don't know how he is… cognitively. He's in a coma to help us reduce the swelling in his brain and deal with the mountain of injuries. We have a 24-hour window to see if he makes it through the night. Then, he may survive, but there's no promise." Elijah stops listening to the doctor ramble as he collapses against his Uncle, crying.

"Elijah, we can go see him." You whisper, wiping your eyes as Charles gathers Callum into his arms, a death grip on the child. Cecile standing far back. "I can't, Papa. I don't want to see Daddy like that." She whispers; Charles nods and walks over, kissing her before handing her to Max. Walking to the room, Elijah tries to prepare himself, the nurse speaking softly as he heads to the neuro-ICU ward.

"Listen, nothing ever prepares you for this. If you can't handle it, that's okay. But, he's not going to look like himself." The nurse warns them, but you don't care and walk in first. "Lando, oh baby." You whimper and drop into the chair beside his bed. He was littered with wires, tubes, and bandages.

"His curls," Elijah whispers, standing at the foot of the bed. "What, baby?" "Dad's curls, they're gone." It was stupid to point out, and your laugh proved that. "Oh, that's okay. He'll grow them out again." Charles whispers, taking Lando's other side. "I didn't kiss him," Charles looks up, and fresh tears gather in his eyes. "You can kiss him now," His Papa whispers, reaching for him.

Elijah walks over and stops, taking in the battered and mangled body of his Dad. "I should've kissed you, Daddy. I'm not too old; I'll never be too old for you. You're, you're always going to be my dad. And I don't care that you fuss over or kiss me. You can embarrass me for the rest of my life; I'll never be too old." Elijah sobs as he crumbles to the floor, sobbing into Charles's lap.

"You can't leave me, not yet, Lando. We're not ready." You whisper, kissing a cheek as you listen to the gentle beating of the machines. Charles shudders out a breath as Elijah's sobs quiet down, falling asleep from exhaustion. He doesn't know the time, but you're soon asleep on the couch in the room with Callum in your arms.

"Lando," Charles whispers, chuckling at how his hands weren't injured, just a broken toe or two on his feet. "You knew, didn't you? People always say before a disaster that they can feel it. Did you?" Charles leans in closer, resting his head gently over his heart. "You've never been nervous to race in the rain. You're the best in the rain, I envy that. This should be me. You would be handling this better than me." Charles takes a deep breath and listens to the steady thump of his heart.

"Don't leave, you can't. You still have to teach Cecile how to drive. Kiss Elijah some more on camera when all the cute girls are watching. Callum, Callum needs his Daddy. Y/n, she needs you, will kill each other if you're gone, so you can't. Do you hear me? You can't leave me yet, not yet. I go first; that was our deal. Me, not you." Charles sighs, touching the bandages on Lando's head.

"Did they have to shave the curls?" Someone snorts at the door, and Charles turns, seeing Oscar with Cecile standing before him. "He looks like a mummy." Charles laughs, holding his hand out for his daughter. "Yeah, he kinda does." Cecile walks over and sits in Charles's lap, staring at Lando.

"She felt ready, so I brought her here," Oscar whispers, sitting down where you were not too long ago. "Thank you," Charles whispers as Cecile traces the tubes and wire. "He'll be okay." Oscar looks at Cecile, who smiles softly. "No way Daddy dies with a bald head." Charles covers his mouth, trying not to laugh as Oscar fails. "You're right, he'd haunt our ass for letting that happen." Charles takes one last deep breath and wipes his eyes.

Lando wasn't leaving, not yet. And Charles was going to make sure of that. A nurse comes in, but Oscar holds up his hand. "Let everyone in or stay. But we're not leaving." They seem ready to argue but sigh, moving to the side as everyone else files into the room. None of them are prepared for Lando to leave them just yet.

----------------

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sleepdeprivedandinsane · 1 year

Text

Love You Like I'm Never Gonna Love You Again

Evan 'Buck' Buckley x Fem!Reader

angst with a happy ending

summary: Reader gets shot on a job. When she flatlines on the way to the hospital, Buck is worried she won't make it out alive.

POTENTIAL TW : : mentions of gsw, blood, grief, guns? I think? If there's any I missed or should add lmk! Enjoy 🫡

I only have one thing to say for this... sorry 🥲

It was times like this that Buck wondered why he did what he did. Everyone was silent as they sat at the dinner table. No one bothered to try and say anything, and no one looked up either. They all focused on their polished black shoes, not having the stomach to look up and see her empty chair.

He hears people say, "it all happened so fast," but when the shot rang out and he watched the blood spread on her shirt, everything was in slow motion. The shot echoed in his ears. He was too shocked to scream as her body fell slowly to the ground. Realization hit when he felt her blood on his face, and everyone rushed to her aid. It was like someone shocked him, like he jolted awake from a nightmare. Only, when he woke up, she wasn't better.

"No..." He said. "No, no, no!" He screamed, rushing to her.

Bobby and Eddie held him back as he fought to get to her, Hen and Chim working with shaky hands.

"This can't be happening..." He whimpered.

She looked at him, a weak smile on her bloody face, blood pouring from her wound."It's okay. It'll be okay." She muttered fraily.

She nodded, as if trying to convince herself as well.

"Please- let me go!" He yelled desperately, "please! I need to go to her!" His eyes watered as he begged Bobby and Eddie to let him go.

They, too, were on the verge of tears, trying to hold them back for his sake. It wouldn't have made much of a difference, though. All his focus was on her.

Once they got her loaded into the ambulance, they let him go. He ran to her side and sat down. He took her hand, brushing the stray hairs that fell from her braid away from her eyes. She looked up at him with watery eyes, swallowing thickly because she knew it wasn't good. A bullet wound is supposed to hurt. It isn't good when it doesn't.

"Try not to move, okay?" He said shakily.

She nodded, squeezing his hand to assure him. She felt somewhat guilty that she was even trying when she knew she probably wouldn't make it to the hospital. She couldn't bring herself to lie to him. She couldn't find the words to tell him how much she loved him either.

"You're gonna be okay. You have to be." He said firmly, denial dripping from his tongue.

She shook her head. "No." She whimpered. "I'm not."

He shook his head defiantly. "Don't say that. Say anything but that." He said, his voice cracking.

Hen and Chim had to choke back the words 'she's right' because they themselves didn't want to believe she wasn't going to be okay. They wanted to believe she'd be okay like Buck did.

"Okay." She said. "Then I need to tell you something. Before I don't get the chance. I-" She started.

But he cut her off with a shake of his head. "No, you can tell me when you're better." He said.

They all knew what she was going to say, but no one said anything. Everyone, including each other, knew about their feelings for each other. Y/n was afraid of it all going sour, however, and she didn't have the courage to take the plunge and risk losing her best friend. Evan, he wanted to save them both the heartache in case it didn't last. Mostly himself, if he was honest. He knew they'd come back from it, but it'd never be the same. They didn't want to take that chance, and everyone thought it was stupid. Anyone with eyes could see they were crazy for each other. Absolutely head over heels.

"You can't leave me. Please don't leave me." He said desperately, tears streaming down his blood stained cheeks.

She reached up and wiped away his tears, her hand lingering when he leaned into her. "You'll be okay." She said sadly.

"No." He croaked. "I won't." He shook his head, placing his hand on hers.

"You'll have Maddie, Bobby, Chimney, Hen, Eddie, and Christopher. You'll be okay." She tried to convince him.

"But I won't have you." He whispered. "You can't give up yet. You have to fight." He said defeated.

"I'm so tired." She said weakly. "I'm sorry." She said, struggling to get the words out.

"I know it hurts-" He said, but she cut him off.

"It doesn't. It doesn't hurt." She whispered.

"Please, it's not supposed to end this way, I still need you. We still need you." He said.

She smiled weakly, wiping his tears once more. She gasped, her chest heaving, before she stilled, her eyes going blank. For a moment, her hand remained against his cheek, but he knew she was gone. Her smile faded, her mouth agape as blood spilled from the corners. Her hand fell, and Buck never knew silence could be so loud. The constant beep, the solid line, seemed to taunt them. Hen angrily shut it off. Chimney slowly took his hands from her wound where he attempted to stop the bleeding.

"No." Buck said, getting up and starting cpr.

He wasn't ready to give up on her. Henrietta shut her eyes tightly, fighting back tears of her own. Chimney shook his head, determined to see her smile again. To see them finally happy together. To see her in a white gown as he watched his best friends say their vows. To see little baby Buckleys running around with Jee-yun. He reached into her wound, closing off the source of the bleed. Hen sniffled as she turned the machine back on, the consistent beep sounding again. What was a taunt became motivation to them, and Buck continued to try recesutate her.

"C'mon..." He said. "C'mon!" He yelled desperately.

Tears mixed with the dried blood on his face, but he hardly noticed either. Hen tried not to look because seeing one of her best friends lay lifeless on the gurney, while another desperately tried to bring her back, would be too much. She knew that would break her. Break her faith in the job. She needed to try to remember why she did it instead of seeing a reason not to.

As Chimney ran beside the gurney, Hen filled in the doctors and nurses, but Buck didn't hear. He just heard a ringing in his ears, the gun shot echoing in his head. Her lifeless eyes stared back at him, the blood still spilling from her mouth. It gave him a little hope, though, because if she was totally gone she wouldn't be bleeding... right?

"Sir, we can take it from here." A nurse said, easing Buck from his position above her as he tried to get her heart beating again.

Chim was eased into paper blue covers as they rolled them into surgery.

They hadn't been ushered away yet. They could see nurses starting chest compressions and giving her O2. They could see the doctors gently ease Chim's hand from her wound. They could see the blood pour from the wound as a result. As the minutes droned on and her heart didn't start, he felt his own shatter.

It wasn't quick. It was slow. Painful.

Hen could see her blood spilling onto the floor. Her hope quickly diminished seeing the amount.

Finally, Buck could see her heart re-start and her chest rise, and he released a breath he wasn't aware he was holding.

Then, Buck finally broke down. He fell to his knees, sobbing. Hen knelt down with him, pulling him into her embrace, but it offered neither of them comfort. Bobby, Eddie, and Athena rushed to them.

Athena's face fell. "She flat lined. Didn't she?" She said sadly, defeated.

Hen nodded weakly. Eddie dropped to his knees, hugging Buck as well.

"I'm gonna get this son of a bitch." Athena growled, storming out of the trauma bay. "Call me when she's out of surgery." She said as she determinedly walked away.

Bobby hung his head, unwillingly letting the tears fall. None of them could bring themselves to leave. None of them wanted to.

It wasn't until Chim finally returned, covered in blood, and said they wouldn't know anything for several more hours.

It took some convincing, but they finally got Buck to leave to finish his shift. But none of them truly left the ER.

Buck had an empty plate in front of him, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. Not when he saw her blank expression every time he closed his eyes.

Their families all came out to support them, the community coming together to put out candles and figures of good luck and healing, hoping and praying for the firefighter and her family and team. Praying for good news. The sight was bittersweet.

Buck couldn't stand the silence. He stood abruptly and left, heading to the locker rooms.

He had to choke back a sob. He didn't want to live without her. He didn't want to love anyone else but her. He didn't want to do this job if she wasn't beside him.

"Evan, you were made to save a life."

His mother's voice rang out in his head.

He wanted to scream. He wanted to sob. He wanted her back.

He missed her smile, he missed her laugh, he missed the stupid jokes she'd tell to cheer everyone up on a hard day. He missed her warm hugs and how she smelled like roses and lillies: her favorite perfume. Her hair always smelled fruity, and her skin was always so soft. He missed her giggles and the way she'd gently caress his face. He wanted her back.

He wanted to hear from the damn hospital. Wanted to hear them say she made it through. It was nearing six hours after the shooting, and it felt like the longest six hours of his life.

He stood in the locker room, leaning against the metal doors of the lockers, his head down. He squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to think of her in any way that wasn't the lifeless look in her eyes. Even if she made it, that sight would haunt his nightmares. He mentally kicked himself for not telling her he loved her sooner. He knew she knew. Hell, everyone else did too. But he needed to know she heard it. And right now, he was praying for any miracle. He was praying that he'd get the chance to tell her, kiss her, hold her, anything.

He screamed and stood, hitting the lockers to try to ease the pain in any way. He punched and punched, angry and distraught and so many other things. He wanted order. He needed something to ground him. Right now, that was the stinging pain in his knuckles. He punched the doors again and again until his fist was as numb as he was inside. He fell to his knees, crying weakly.

Maddie came in, silently sitting next to him on the floor. She didn't try reassuring him that she'd be okay because truth be told, she was terrified too. She also knew nothing she said would help ease his pain. So she simply laid a gentle hand on his cheek, turning his face to her. She smiled softly, pulling his head forward and placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. He leaned on her, laying his head on her shoulder as he sobbed tiredly.

"I just need to know that she's okay." He croaked weakly. "I just need her to be okay." He sobbed.

"Shh," she cooed softly, "I know." She whispered. She held his shoulders, letting her own tears fall.

"I'm not going to lie to you and say it'll be okay. I don't know if she's going to make it, and I won't try to pretend that I do. But I know one thing: she is incredibly strong." She said, pulling him away just enough to look him in the eye.

"She's got a lot of fire left in her, still got a lot of fight left. She doesn't give up easily, and I refuse to believe that this time is going to be any different. She's too stubborn and bull headed to let someone else decide when it's her time to leave. And I have that to hold onto." She said.

He smiled faintly. "Thank you." He whispered. "That helps." He said, nodding as he closed his eyes.

"You need to go home and rest." She said concerned.

He shook his head. "I can't sleep without knowing she's okay." He said defiantly.

Just then, Chimney ran in, Jee on his hip. "It's the hospital." He panted. "They've got news on Y/n." He said.

Maddie and Buck shot up from the floor, running out to the main floor where Bobby was on the phone with the doctor.

"Here they are, I'm putting you on speaker." He said when Maddie and Buck approached.

"I'm relieved to call with good news. Ms Y/l/n made it." He said relieved.

A collection of cheers sounded throughout the firehouse. And for the first time since she was shot, Buck felt all the tension leave his body. "Thank god." He muttered to himself.

"She suffered slight head trauma when she fell, and with the pain medication she's on, she'll probably be out for a while." He said.

"When can we see her?" Hen asked antsy.

"You can come down now if you'd like. Visiting hours are over, but I'll make an exception this time." He said.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Bobby said.

Before he even ended the call, Buck was running to his jeep. He sped to the hospital, probably breaking several traffic laws on the way, but at the moment, he could care less. All he could think was, 'She's alive. She's really alive. She's okay.' In that moment, nothing else mattered to him. She was alive. That's all that he cared about.

He ran up to the receptionist, and as soon as he had her room number, he was running up the stairs.

The elevator might've been quicker, but the burn in his legs and the sharp jab in his gut as he took the stairs two at a time reminded him that he was awake, that it was real. She was really okay.

He saw her through the large window in the wall, the door slightly ajar. All the air left his lungs. He couldn't describe the immense relief any other way.

He rushed to her side, dropping into the chair beside her bed. The back of her gown was open, the bandages peeking through. Before he even registered it, he was tucking the blanket over her exposed skin. He took her hand in his, feeling her warm skin against his. He sighed, leaning his forehead against their intertwined hands. Up until now, he hadn't realized just how tired he was. His face was probably all red and puffy from crying, but he didn't care all that much anymore. He'd hang the moon if it meant she would be okay. He'd hold the sky up for her if it meant he would see her smile again. He didn't care. All that mattered to him was that she was safe.

She groaned, squeezing his hand in hers. "Hey, Buckley." She croaked out with a dry throat.

He smiled, remembering when she would call him that when they first got to know each other. At first, it was because she was bad at remembering names and relied on the name tags. Then, it became a way for her to tease him because she knew he didn't like it. He would always respond with her last name, too, but it was only her and a few other people who were allowed to call him that. The few other people being Hen, Chim, Bobby, and Eddie. And of course, his sister, but she only really did when he was about to be reprimanded for something. Other than that, no one else was allowed to use his full name. She was even allowed to call him Evan, but she only used it when it was just them.

"Hey, Y/l/n." He responded softly. He gently handed her the cup of ice water from the table beside her bed, helping her sit up slightly so she could take a drink. She nodded when she was finished and he set it down.

She smiled at him fondly. "You were right." She said. "Maybe I was being a little dramatic." She joked lightheartedly.

Maybe he wasn't in the mood, but that struck a cord with him. "You weren't being dramatic, Y/n, you flatlined. You almost died." He said seriously.

Her eyes widened and she sat forward slightly. "I- what?" She asked shocked.

His eyes began to water, and his had shook slightly. "You were dead. I thought you were gone. I was so scared." He whispered meekly.

She frowned, pulling his face to hers. She rested her forehead against his, gently wiping his tears away. "Hey, I'm right here, okay? I'm not going anywhere anytime soon." She whispered.

"You almost died. I didn't know what I was going to do if you didn't make it. I wasn't sure I could live with myself." He said softly. "I need you here. I've never loved anyone the way I love you." He admitted. He wasn't too particularly happy with the time and place, but he couldn't wait any longer. He needed to know he told her. He needed to know he said it.

She kissed him deeply, putting everything she was trying to tell him in it. That she was real, and she was alive. She wasn't going anywhere. That she loved him too.

"I love you. God, I've wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared." He said.

"What made you not be scared anymore?" She asked.

"Oh, I'm still scared. I'm scared if we go all in and it ends badly, that I'll lose my best friend and the best thing that's ever happened to me. But seeing you lay lifeless on the gurney scared me way more. I'm still scared, but not as scared as I was when I thought you died." He said.

Her face fell. "Oh, God, you saw me flatline?" She said, a mix of emotions crossing her face. He just nodded sadly.

"I saw through the window. There was so much blood. It's something that's going to haunt my nightmares for the foreseeable future." He said.

She stroked his cheek gently. "You said I could say it when I was better. Can I say it now?" She asked.

He closed his eyes and nodded. "Please."

"I love you, Evan Buckley." She said smiling.

He smiled relieved. She leaned her forehead against his again. "I love you so much." She whispered. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She said, peppering his face with kisses until he finally smiled. "There it is." She said softly.

"I'm never letting you go again." He said, gently pulling her into his chest to hug her, just wanted to hold her for a little while.

"Well, that's good, 'cus I'm never leaving your side." She said, sinking into his embrace.

Eventually, after a grueling 30 minutes of being stuck in traffic due to a pileup, the team finally made it to the hospital, only to find Y/n and Buck asleep.

Y/n lay back, the bed sitting up slightly, but not much. Buck lay right next to her chest, her arm over his shoulders, and their fingers entwined. It looked like they fell asleep talking and watching 'Gone With The Wind' on some channel. They all smiled at the sight, happy to see the two finally relaxed.

Each one took a seat somewhere and eventually fell asleep themselves. They weren't about to leave without giving Y/n a hug and reminding her how much they love her. Besides, they were all exhausted. Physically, emotionally, and mentally. The hospital wasn't the best place to sleep, but they weren't about to leave their youngest member alone in a hospital room, let alone let Buck be there by himself. And maybe it was to make themselves feel better because they were all worried sick about her. Or maybe it was for her and Buck. All they knew: they weren't leaving her alone again.

#angst prompt #writers on tumblr #911 on fox #911 one shot #evan 'buck' buckley #buck x reader #evan buckley x reader #this is some angst angst

2K notes · View notes

allysunny · 4 months

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Hii, firstly I LOVE ur writing so much, you’re really talented 🌟💘

Congrats on 200 followers, SOOOO DESERVED!!!

I was wondering if you could do 27+r for Bruce 🥰 something like he left to protect her, it hurt him more than anything and he realized that it was mistake and wants her back. Happy ending tho, I’m a sucker for that haha 😄❤️

Thank you in advance, much love! 🫶🏻

“You left me” / “I was protecting you” / “You LEFT me” + Protecting you x Bale!Bruce

Words: 15.8k words

Warnings: Angst, infidelity, cheating, lots of angst, pregnancy, break-up, suggestive themes and one (1) very poorly written and short nsfw scene (it's like 5 lines long I think), one (1) death, Bruce Wayne being a mess (relatable), a lot of heartbreak and pining, not proofread. I literally wrote this in a span of like, one week, and it's not proofread, so oh my god I'm so sorry if there's anything wrong with it...

A/N: Oh my god. Hello everyone. Holy fuck. Okay so, I hope you guys are interested to know what the fuck happened here. I don't want to waste any more time (the explanation is quite big), so I'll add it after the fic, in the final Author Note. Small context: I got two requests that were kinda similar, so I decided to mix the two together!

Just a heads up, due to reasons that I'll expand on at the end, I feel like the end drags on a bit. I did not proofread because I was a bit saturated with this piece, and I think that at some point, I actually cried because I was panicking real hard.

Anyway!!! I love Bruce!!!! I hope you guys enjoy this <3

Bruce knew you were the one after you'd first spilled coffee all over his suit.

You just looked so worried, your pretty eyes wide with fear as you tried to think of what to say to this stranger you'd just bumped into – or so he thought. You, in fact, knew exactly what you wanted to say to him.

"Hey! Watch where you're going, asshole!" you'd exclaimed, looking at what remained of your iced coffee. "This thing was almost 10 dollars, what am I supposed to do now?"

Bruce eyed you up and down, honestly surprised you had the guts to raise your voice at him. Didn't you know who he was? Did you simply not care?

Either way, he was enthralled.

"Hey!" you waved your arms in front of him, trying to get his attention. "Look at me!"

"May I be so bold to point out you spilled your coffee onto me?" Bruce asked with a small scoff. "If anything, you are the one supposed to do something about it."

"This wouldn't have happened if you watched where you were going." You were very pretty, Bruce noted. Your eyes seemed to sparkle, and your arms were crossed over your chest, making his eyes dart towards it.

"And what am I supposed to do?" He replied.

"I don't know! Give me my money back or something, that coffee is super expensive! It's my special celebration cup!"

""Your money back?"

"Yeah! You're dressed up all nice, I bet that suit costs more than my rent."

"Oh, really?" Bruce was amused one. You were feisty, clearly. "And what makes you think that?"

"No one walks around Gotham dressed like that, unless they're rich, powerful, law agents, or I don't know, Bruce Fucking Wayne."

"Bruce Wayne? Does he dress like this?"

You scoffed, shaking your head and gesticulating a lot with your arms.

"Probably! I mean, it's not like anyone has ever seen the guy, but let's be honest, he probably dresses in expensive as fuck silk, or like, placenta that's fed to and then shat by babies or something."

You only seemed to get better by the second.

Bruce placed a hand on his chin, truly intrigued by your line of thinking.

"Placenta that's fed to and then shat by babies?" He had to admit, this was pretty amusing. Did you have any sort of filter? If so, he never wished that you turned it off.

"Maybe – I don't know – It's Bruce Wayne, so who actually does know? Maybe he's running a society of baby-shitting placenta. It's Gotham. One day we have masked vigilantes jumping off roofs, and the other, bomb threats. Regular Tuesdays for us Gothamites. But the real question here is," you jabbed an accusatory finger into his chest. "What are you going to do to repay me my very well-earned 10$ worth of iced coffee?"

Bruce was just about to reply, when a very familiar voice spoke up behind him.

"Ah, Mr. Wayne!" Lucius's Fox deep timbre was unmistakable, and Bruce turned around to offer him a polite smile. "I'm happy to run into you, there's a few things – " He took one good look at his boss's shirt and grimaced. "Hell, Mr. Wayne, how'd that happen?"

The younger man turned around to glance at you. Poor, poor you, with eyes even wider, and a matching mouth. You blinked several times, looking from his shirt to his face, and from his face to his shirt.

"Oh, that's right. I almost forgot to introduce myself," he put a hand forward, offering you what you thought was the most dazzling smile ever. Geez, women must basically throw their panties at him.

"Bruce Wayne. Baby-shitting-placenta cult leader."

You blinked a few more times, wishing the earth swallowed you whole. You'd literally never done anything wrong in your life. Sure, you talked trash about Suzy Carpenter's sweater in 8th grade, but it was warranted – it did look like vomit – and you had stolen a yogurt from a coworker once, but surely that did not warrant running into Bruce Fucking Wayne of all people, spilling coffee all over his clothes, and accuse him of eating placenta. Maybe Suzy still held a grudge.

"Mr. Fox, how about I stop by your office later today? I'm quite busy this morning. Have something to do."

"Of course, Mr. Wayne. I'll be patiently waiting." Lucius gave him and you an acknowledging nod, before walking away.

You were still staring at Bruce, completely at a loss for words. What were you supposed to say? Was there anything at all you could say?

"I – Mr. Wayne, I – Well, I'm – I," you stuttered and stuttered, and Bruce could only chuckle, before shaking his head. He looked to his left and took a few steps, opening a door before him.

"After you."

Confusion took over your expressions. What was he up to? Where was he going?

"I promise not to kidnap you into a placenta cult," he chuckled, nodding towards the door. You looked at the name written in green letters on the glass. "Coffee House". "I believe I have a cup of coffee to make up for?"

He offered you a very subtle version of that dazzling smile of his, and you couldn't help but return in kind.

"I'm not going to apologize or kiss your ass or anything," you told him.

"That's fine," Bruce shrugged, "I didn't want you to."

You pondered your options.

You didn't know this man. But someone had called him Mr. Wayne, and now that you take a good look at him, he does look like the face gossip magazines and tabloids love to splatter on the cover. And he really did not look like he meant any harm.

And you really wanted a cup of coffee. "Alright, Mr. Placenta Cult Leader."

It did not take long for Bruce to fall in love with you, with your kindness, with your looks, with your beautiful personality. You always maintained that feisty attitude of yours, refusing to treat him or anyone in his world differently simply because you were now a part of it.

And Bruce loved it.

Loved how you couldn't care less what other socialite families thought of you, eating chocolate covered fruit after chocolate covered fruit at fundraisers, loved the way you latched onto him and "claimed" your property so to say whenever other women approached him and tried their luck (not that it would've worked, this man was whipped for you), telling other, more arrogant seniors off whenever they made judgements on yours, or Gotham forbid, Bruce.

But above all, he loved you,

And he made sure to show you just how much whenever possible. He wasn't the best with words, never had been, so he tried to show his devotions through actions. Breakfasts in bed, gentle caresses while you cuddled together on the couch, copies of your favourite books, soft kisses pressed against the hollow of your throat while he brought you to a climax with his fingers. Bruce would never stop showing you his love, for as long as he lived.

Alfred was very fond of you too.

The two of you had gotten along very well immediately after your first meeting, with Alfred telling you all sorts of embarrassing stories from Bruce's childhood. You laughed and replied in kind, and the two of you sort of teamed up to make his life a living hell (in the best way possible), teasing him to no end and cursing him with the worst jokes known to mankind.

Alfred too could see you were the one for his boss.

Saw it in the way Bruce looked at you, like everyone else in the world was gone and the only thing that mattered was the shine in your eyes. Saw it in the way he bent over to whisper sweet nothings into your ear that made you giggle out loud, just the way he saw Thomas Wayne do with his wife.

Saw it in the way Bruce paced holes into his study, pondering on what ring to get you. He bothered him to exhaustion that day, wondering about the colours you'd prefer, what size and shaped rock to get you, how, when, and where to propose.

"It has to be perfect, Alfred," he muttered, shaking his head and sighing incessantly. "I can't just pick any ring. It has to be meaningful. Her birthstone? No. No, absolutely not, that's lame. It's lame – it's dated. She wouldn't like it. Maybe she doesn't even like her birthstone. A diamond. A diamond! No. Out of the question. What if she doesn't like diamonds?"

"If I may give you a piece of advice, sir?" Alfred asked. However entertaining it was to see the mighty Bruce Wayne freak out over an engagement ring, this man was still his boy, and he couldn't bear to see him distressed. "If I recall, it was in your mother's will that her ring was to be stored and kept locked away in the possibility of her passing. I believe it is stored away in her old jewel box, as she was never buried with it. She wanted you to have it."

Bruce's eyes softened, as they often did at the mention of his parents.

"My mother's ring?" he asked to which Alfred nodded dutifully.

"It has been in your family for more than 6 generations now. Your mother wanted you to have it."

Some mixed feeling akin to grief and love passed through his eyes, and Bruce found himself staring at the floor. His mother's ring. A family heirloom, passed on from generation to generation. And now it was his. And would become yours. A million thoughts could've crossed through his mind. "Should I give something this important to her?" or "Is she the right person for this ring?" or maybe even "This is far too important. I need to think twice before making this decision".

But surprisingly, the only thought that came to him was "There is no one out there more deserving of this ring than her".

It was endearing, really, and Alfred Pennyworth was more than happy to see the boy he'd watched grow and loved as his own become his own man, and finally find the love he so much deserved.

When you got home on a warm May night and showed off your ring to him, smiling from ear to ear, eyes red and makeup slightly smudged from the tears you'd no doubt shed, he hugged you tightly and wished you all the best. He was sure the late Mr. and Mrs. Wayne would've loved you, and his eyes teared up at the thought.

Bruce caught sight of this and made his way towards the older man, worried that something might be wrong, the answer almost made him cry as well.

"It seemed like only yesterday I was patching your arm up after a rough fall, Master Wayne. And here you are today, carrying the legacy of your family, a man of your own, about to embark on this beautiful journey that's marriage. I am so very proud of the man you have become, and I'm sure your parents would too."

The two of them hugged warmly. Alfred was the only person besides you who got to see the more vulnerable side of Bruce – well, rather, you were the other person beside him. Having grown up with only his butler, Bruce saw him as a father figure. Sure, he'd never be able to replace his actual dad, but Bruce looked up and admired Alfred very much, considering him part of the family. No one seemed to care about him as much, and he was forever grateful.

That very night, you three toasted with champagne, sharing stories and anecdotes from Bruce's childhood, your relationship, and making plans for the future. And after Alfred had long retired for the night, Bruce took you in his arms, carried you off to his bedroom and made sure to remind you over and over again just how much he loved you.

After the engagement, Bruce told you about his double identity as Batman. You'd never suspected it – you were both responsible adults, each had your own job and errands to run. Not to mention that Bruce was the CEO of a whole company. To you, it was normal if he had to cancel one or two dates, or if you went a few days without seeing him. Sure, you missed him, and sometimes it made your heart ache, but you were a busy woman yourself, and always found yourself surrounded by things to do; hobbies, errands, work – you always had a lot going on, so Bruce's absence felt normal.

He was afraid you'd leave him, but in true you fashion, it just made you even more in love. The man you adored more than anything and wanted to spend the rest of your life with was the one keeping Gotham safe at night. You begged him there and then to show you all his cool gadgets, teach you how everything worked, and your mouth watered at the possibility of having sex in what you called "the Batcar".

"Batcar?" Bruce asked, cringing.

"No – that sounds terrible. Hmmm... Batengine?"

"It's called the Tumbler, and that's all. No Bat prefixes."

"No – no, it doesn't work like that. It needs a name. Oh. OH – Oh, holy fuck. Okay, get ready for this." You placed your hands in front of you, smiling. "You ready?"

"Just get on with it."

"I was just making sure you were ready. Okay listen. The Batmobile."

Bruce looked at you.

You looked at him.

Bruce looked at you.

You looked at him.

Bruce looked at you.

And then he made your wish come true, carrying you off towards the Batmobile.

Later, when you were curled up in his arms, you grinned, placing a cheeky kiss on his jaw.

"You're wearing the suit next time.”

Your engagement was happily lived.

You and Bruce tried to keep it a secret for as long as you could, wanting to enjoy some time together away from the prying eyes of Gotham, but as soon as one photographer caught you taking a spoon to your lips, and the beautiful diamond ring caught in the light, it was over.

“So much for privacy,” you muttered, collapsing on your couch, gripping the latest gossip magazine. The words “WAYNE HEIR TO FINALLY SETTLE! Billionaire playboy finally tamed!?” were plastered on the cover, as well as a big picture of you hiding your face with your left hand as Bruce brought you close to him. “I wonder if they’ll ever leave us alone.”

“Probably not. You’ll get used to it; it comes with the name.” Bruce kissed the top of your head, handing you a cup of coffee. You smiled and sat up straight, taking a sip from it and humming in delight.

“This is real good. Did Alfred make it?”

“Why is it so hard to believe that I would make a good cup of coffee?” Your fiancé asked, sitting beside you. One hand snaked around your waist and brought you closer, and the other softly flicked your nose.

“You burned the coffee beans last time you tried. I don’t even know how that’s possible, Bruce,” you sighed.

“I did my best.” Was his response.

“Maybe stick to being Bruce Wayne by day, and Batman by night. I love a good alliteration, but you were not meant to be a barista.”

Bruce chuckled and kissed you, tasting the sweet coffee off your lips. He hummed, gazing at you through his dark lashes.

“You’re right, this is good. Most likely wasn’t made by me.”

“It definitely wasn’t made by you.”

“You are such a hater,” Bruce sighed, playfully kissing your nose. “I’m never making you any more coffee from now on.”

Your eyes lit up and you smiled at him jokingly.

“Is that a promise?”

Bruce just shook his head and bent down to kiss you. You smiled against his lips, and he took the opportunity to give your waist a good squeeze, causing you to flinch.

“Stop that! I’m going to spill this all over the couch!”

“Wouldn’t be the first time – I recall someone spilling coffee all over me and somehow making it my fault,” Bruce joked, raising a quizzical brow. You smiled fondly at the memory. It was your favourite story to tell.

“You weren’t watching your step. It wasn’t my fault.”

“You bumped into me.”

“No, you bumped into me because you weren’t paying attention. And then you made me spill your coffee all over you.” You smiled and kissed him again. When you pulled away, you felt him chase after you, capturing your lips with his own once again.

Brushing his lips against yours, he murmured, “And I’m glad I did. I got to meet the love of my life that way.”

“You’re so corny, Bruce Wayne. I wonder what the public would think of you if they saw you like this.”

“I don’t care what the public thinks of me as long as you’re by my side.”

You smiled, and so did he. Truer words had never been spoken.

Now that you knew he was Batman, you worried more often.

What before was considered simply a “busy night for Mr. CEO” was now “night out in Gotham, fighting criminals and possibly getting injured”. You found yourself pacing circles around your bedroom, biting on your nails, and hoping that Bruce would come home soon.

You’d asked Alfred for some tips – how could he appear so relaxed knowing that the boy he treated as his own son was out there, doing what he did? Knowing that he put himself in the face of danger so often and sometimes with no regard for his own life?

“It’s hard, Miss,” he told you over a warm cup of tea. “But in the end, Master Wayne knows what he is doing. And now he has one more reason to get back home safely. Everything will be alright.”

And thankfully, he usually did.

You two had a sort of unspoken deal.

Bruce would always wake you up whenever he returned, even if just to let you know he was safe and home. Sometimes, you’d wake up, insisting on checking him for bruises and marks, and even going as far as patching them up.

“The kitchen has better lighting, c’mon,” you mumbled, voice still coated in exhaustion. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, yawning as you made your way towards the kitchen to deal with his bruises. It was routine, at this point. Bruce sat down, you opened your first-aid kit, you two had a snack and went back to bed. It was domestic, in a way. Not really something a regular couple would do, but you and Bruce had never really been regular.

“You’re lucky that one isn’t big,” you said, pointing towards the purple bruise forming on top of his right pectoral. You’d seen worse – sometimes he came home with bullet wounds, or deep gashes on his skin. Not that this was any more reassuring, but you were just glad that compared to other nights, he didn’t seem to be suffering too much. “It should heal in a few days, as long as you keep applying the cream.”

“What would I do without you?” he asked, with a soft smile. This is how you knew Bruce had truly returned home. Some nights he’d be far too tired to speak, choosing to kiss you and softly touch you to remind you of his love. Others, he would lock himself up in the Batcave, somehow convinced he wasn’t worthy of you. Of course you offered to talk to him, to help carry his burdens, but he never wanted to drag you into that side of his life, so most of the time, he would keep to himself.

Right now, though, he seemed to be doing fine. He told you patrol was rather easy, there were no major criminals out, and that nothing was wrong. His smiles and chuckles meant that Bruce, your Bruce was back.

“I don’t know,” you said, moving to open the fridge. As soon as you did, you turned away from it and gagged. “Shit – that’s disgusting,” you said, closing the door and shaking your head.

“What?” Bruce turned to you. “Is there something wrong?”

“I think there must be something rotten in here, it smells foul. Fuck, it smells so disgusting, I think I’m going to vomit,” you mumbled, moving away from the fridge as quickly as you could. Bruce got up right after and carefully opened the door. Nothing. Nothing seemed to smell rotten – nor it would make any sense if it did. Alfred was always on top of groceries, and never in his life he recalled a moment where something was rotten or went to waste.

“Are you sure?” he asked, turning to you. “I can’t smell anything bad.” Searching through the items, he opened and closed lids, smelling whatever was inside. Everything seemed to be intact.

“Are you serious? It smells disgusting – close that door!”

“Honey, I can’t find anything in here that smells bad. Maybe you’re just sensitive or something.” Bruce closed the door and walked towards you, wrapping you around his arms. “We should go to sleep. It’s late.”

You nodded into his chest and allowed him to carry you back to bed.

As you drifted off to sleep, you thought of how nice it would be if every single day was like this – patrol-wise. Bruce would come home with barely any scratches, you’d take care of him in about 10 minutes, and before you knew it, you’d be back in bed, hugging him tightly against you.

Unfortunately, the future held other plans.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t The Dark Knight himself,” a very familiar voice said.

Bruce turned around and faced the familiar mask of the Scarecrow, the man he knew to be Dr. Jonathan Crane. And he seemed to be in top shape – last time he’d seen the bastard, he was mumbling incoherently and out of his mind. How he’d gotten himself out of Arkham, Bruce had no idea, but he was sure to send him back there in no time.

“Crane.” Bruce said, ready to fight at any time. He knew Crane used a special toxin to induce fear in his enemies, and although he was immune to it, he had no idea what other people he’d convinced to do his dirty work. Had no idea if he should suspect any surprise attacks and did not want to take chances.

“You know, it’s funny that I find you here, especially after all the… studying I was doing just last night.” Crane paced around the alley, trying to get Bruce’s – the Batman’s – attention. “I was thinking, what is the big bad bat afraid of?” Placing a hand on his chin, he pretended to be deep in thought.

“Cut the crap Crane,” Bruce all but spat, “What do you want?”

Crane – the Scarecrow – however, did not seem in the mood to stop.

“At first, I couldn’t quite get it. After all, you’re just a man,” Crane put extra emphasis on his words. Bruce saw right through him. He wasn’t the first one who tried to make him feel helpless. “But then, it hit me.”

The Scarecrow kept walking around, weaving a narrative to get into Bruce’s head. The latter one stood his ground. He had half a mind to slam Crane against the nearest wall and just hand him over to the authorities, who’d already been called and were on their way, but part of him wanted to hear whatever the maniac had to say.

He shouldn’t, he knows he shouldn’t, but something inside him stirred. Crane looked carefree, relaxed. What had he done?

“Tell me, Bruce,” he said the name with a twisted kind of glee, something that made Bruce’s stomach drop unpleasantly. “Does it worry you when you leave your poor little wife all alone in your Manor? Knowing that anyone could get to her, knowing that she’s defenceless without you to protect her?”

What?

How did he know about him?

Most importantly, how did he know about you? Had he investigated you? Put the pieces together? Had Bruce accidentally left any sort of clue that led him to make the connection?

“Ah – right,” Crane said, removing his mask and offering Bruce a sadistic smile, “You thought no one would figure out your little secret, would you, Batman? How unfortunate.”

In about a second, Bruce was close to Crane, gripping him by the collar of his shirt.

“What have you done to her!?” He snapped, anger clouding his judgement.

“Ah, ah, ah! Now, don’t be crass, Bruce, we’re both respected men and can do this the hard way or the easy way. And I would hate for someone to find out your little secret. Wouldn’t you agree?” The man smiled mockingly, making Bruce’s blood boil.

“Who knows!? Who have you told?” he roared. All judgement and common sense had jumped off the window. Bruce remembered his training; remembered how he was told to keep his emotions at bay. Use his head, not his heart.

“This is where things get complicated now, Batman.” Crane spoke calmly. “I’m the only one who’s aware of your little secret.” Bruce almost sighed in relief. “But that can easily change. Help me get what I want, and I won’t tell a soul. Do anything to stop me, and I’ll let the whole world know who’s hiding under the mask. And believe me – every Arkham inmate would like to know.”

Bruce lowered the Scarecrow onto the ground, breathing heavily. Jonathan Crane knew his identity, knew who he was, where he lived, knew who his wife was. If he didn’t play this correctly, you’d be in great danger.

Reaching towards his pocket, Crane pulled out a small phone.

“In here, I have all the information about you, and the Missus. If you cross me, call for backup, or do anything that would sabotage my plan, I’m sending this file to every phone in Arkham City.”

Bruce weighed his options. He had to be careful. Get the phone out of Crane’s hands, lock him up –

A loud gunshot could be heard through the alley, and the man with the mask in his hand fell on the ground. It took a while for Bruce to understand what was going on, but Jim Gordon’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

“I didn’t say you could shoot –“

“Sargeant, we’ve been after Crane for months now, I wasn’t going to let him go this easily!” A younger man in a GCPD office called out, moving towards Bruce and the now dead body lying on the floor.

Jonathan Crane was dead. The Scarecrow was dead. The only person who knew his secret was now dead. Instinctively, he bent down to pry the phone from the dead man’s hands. With a few clicks, he realised he wasn’t bluffing. A message with a large file entitled THE BAT was ready to be sent at any time. Bruce deleted the thing and destroyed the phone with his bare hands.

That had been close.

Too close.

The GCPD had killed Crane, and while normally Bruce would be against the killing policy, part of him kept thanking whatever inexperienced officer had decided to shoot him.

That was too close.

Crane had said no one else knew of his identity. What if he was bluffing? What if the phone was just a means to threaten him, meanwhile, everyone back in Arkham already knew?

“You okay?” Bruce turned to look at Jim Gordon’s worried expression. “It’s not often we see the Batman worried.”

“He knew who I am.”

Gordon took a step back – quite literally – eyes wide as he put his hands on his hips.

“Did he now?”

“He was going to tell everyone in Arkham City should I not help him along with his plan.”

Both men remained silent, staring at each other, before Gordon turned to look at his officers.

“I know you stick to your no-killing policy, but maybe this one was for the – “

The Batman was gone.

“ – Best.”

He’d spent the night at the cave, terrified to return to you.

What was he going to do?

Jonathan Crane had found out about him, so who’s to say someone else wouldn’t? Sure, the average criminal could not simply put together that he was Bruce Wayne, but there were always going to be people like Crane, who held big grudges and had a very high intellect.

It was simply a matter of time before someone else found out about you.

And Bruce couldn’t have that.

He ran Crane’s words over and over again in his head.

Does it worry you when you leave your poor little wife all alone in your Manor? Knowing that anyone could get to her, knowing that she’s defenceless without you to protect her?

He was right. While he was out at night, protecting the city, you were at home, with no one to protect you. He couldn’t bring you along – that was out of the question. And he couldn’t confine you to some secluded area. He knew you’d get upset that he was treating you like a baby, assuring him you could take care of yourself just fine.

You couldn’t.

Bruce had to protect you. He had to keep you safe, out of harm’s and criminal’s ways. Tonight, it was Crane, merely threatening to tell everyone about you. Tomorrow, it could be someone doing good on their promise.

He tried hard to think of what to do.

And the only idea that seemed like it could work, made his heart ache immensely.

He loved you. He loved you more than what he could possibly say. It tore him apart to be away from you, it broke him to simply think of hurting you.

And yet, it would keep you safe.

Bruce loved you.

So, so much.

He loved you so very much, that he was willing to do whatever he had to keep you safe from harm.

It would break his heart, yes. And yours too, surely. But after tonight, he couldn’t risk it. He would go the lengths of the earth to keep you safe and sound. He made his way towards the Manor and thought over his plan.

There was no way you’d believe him if he ever told you he did not love you. No, that wouldn’t work. You knew him far too well to know when he was lying.

He couldn’t say he was trying to protect you either. One thing he loved the most about you, was your stubbornness. If he told you all he was trying to do was keep you safe, you’d laugh in his face and promise you some measly criminals did not phase you. It warmed his heart, in a way, to know you’d stick with him through thick and thin, but it also made him worry.

What could he possibly do to keep you away from him?

And that’s when it hit him.

You had to see it.

It wasn’t an ideal solution – hell, he didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to even think about it. But if it would keep you safe? Bruce was willing to give it a try.

You’d gotten home earlier from work. Bruce knew this. You were supposed to get home around 6 and a half on Tuesdays, but it was currently 6 and you were already hanging your coat by the door.

“Good afternoon, Miss.” Alfred said with a polite nod, hurrying to your side. “You’re home earlier than expected.” A lie. Bruce had spoken to your coworkers earlier, and they’d told him you’d be off work sooner than expected. Alfred was in on the whole plan as well. It didn’t please him one bit, but he knew once Bruce got an idea, he would go through it until the very end.

“I told you to stop with the ‘Miss’, Alfred, my name is fine. It’s been fine for four years, and I’m sure it’ll be fine for the rest of our lives.” You smiled at him. You’d been trying to get Alfred to use your name for all the years you’d been dating Bruce, but to no avail.

“I’m sorry Miss,” he replied. “Old habits die hard. And please, allow me. It’s part of my job.”

“You’re family, Alfred. What would it take for you to call me by my name?”

“A handsome raise by Master Wayne.”

“I’ll see that he takes care of it right away.”

Alfred smiled as you turned to make your way towards the bedroom, and when you were no longer facing him, your expression turned to one of sadness. Was this really what it had come to? Was he about to go on with this?

He didn’t want to, but there was no way he was going against his boss’s rules.

Alfred sighed sadly, before following you.

“I’m afraid Master Wayne is busy.”

“Oh,” you hummed, “It’s okay. I’ll just wait for him to return.” You continued walking.

“No, Miss – he’s in his office. He’s told me not to disturb him, nor let anyone do it, since he’s working on some very important projects for Wayne Enterprises.”

Weird. Bruce never shut you out, even when he was busy. Sure, he might have things to do, but he would always keep his door open should you want to talk to him, or just kiss him.

“Well, that’s fine, I’ll just say hello to him and go take a shower.” You offered Alfred a smile and turned to instead walk towards Bruce’s office. “Did he tell you what work? He never mentioned anything about a project. Is it new?”

“I’m not sure Miss.” Alfred said, his heart beating slightly faster now that you approached the office’s door. He knew exactly what to expect once you opened the door, but it didn’t really make it easier. “He told me he was going to be busy all afternoon, told me not to go in, and closed the door.”

“Weird. Are you sure he’s alright?”

“I suppose so, Miss.”

You furrowed a brow. Odd. And it’s not like he told you anything at all – letting you know he’d be busy or working up until late.

“That’s alright, Alfred. I’ll go check up on him. He must be really tired,” You said, and approached the door. And now, you were even more confused than ever. Weird sounds were coming from inside the office. You could make out two voices – Bruce’s, of course (you’d know his voice from a mile away), and a female one.

What in the world could Bruce be possibly doing behind locked doors with a woman?

You stilled, straining your ears to better make out the noises coming from inside. And you flushed deep red once the realisation hit you. Grunting, groaning, moaning.

No.

It couldn’t be, now, could it? There was no way.

You turned around to face Alfred, whose face seemed to go white as a sheet of paper.

“Y-You said he locked himself inside and sent you away?” You asked.

“Yes, Miss.”

“O-Okay.” You mumbled, facing the door.

The voices got louder. The female voice got higher and shriller, and tears clouded your vision. You mustered up all the courage you could find in yourself, and burst the door open, gasping loudly at the scene before you.

A naked woman was lying on top of your fiancé’s desk, cheeks flushed and hands desperately clawing at his back – Bruce’s back. He was on top of her, hand hidden in the crook of her neck as he groaned, rutting faster against her.

You stilled in your place, completely paralyzed. There were no possible words to describe what you were feeling now. Anger? Heartbreak? Sadness?

The woman let out a loud moan and wrapped her legs tighter around him.

“You like that?” Bruce grunted, lifting his head to look at the woman, who replied with another broken moan and a tug of his hair.

“Bruce?” you said, heart breaking in a million pieces.

He looked up. Really looked up, staring into your eyes. Inside him, something broke as well. He was doing this for your own good. For your safety. He had to keep you away, had to give you the life he knew you couldn’t have as his wife. It was too dangerous.

“Fuck,” he muttered, quickly getting away from the woman on the desk. He stared at you, dumbfounded, scrambling around to quickly get his clothes.

“Hey – hey – what are you doing?” The woman asked, looking at him, before turning to you and her eyes widened. “Oh!”

You scoffed, looking in between the two, and stormed away, tears running down your cheeks.

“Honey!” Bruce called. He quickly managed to put on a pair of pants, and ran after you, heart pounding in his chest. You were mad. This was really happening. He was going to forever ruin the greatest thing that had ever happened to him, and all because of the Batman. He’d betrayed you and broken your heart.

But it was for your own good.

“I can’t believe this,” you said through gritted teeth, walking towards your bedroom and slamming the door shut behind you. Bruce was able to catch it right before it shut closed, and the expression in your face was sure to haunt him forever. Your lovely eyes, usually bright and lively, were dull and red. Your tear-streaked face was something Bruce had never wanted to see in his life – at least not when it pertained to something bad.

“Honey, please, it’s not what it looks like.” He pleaded, walking towards you.

You were quick to move aside.

“Don’t give me that not what it looks like bullshit! I saw you Bruce – God damn it, I saw you with another woman.” You said, trying to remain calm, but failing miserably. “How could you!?”

“Look, darling, if you could just let me explain –“

“Oh! Explain!” You hurried inside the closet, fetching one of your travel suitcases. There was no way you were staying inside this house – his house – any longer. You needed to get out. Needed fresh air, needed to get away from him. “What is there to explain? How you were balls deep inside some woman you’ve found somewhere? Oh, really nice, Bruce, lovely explanation!”

“You have to understand –“ Bruce explained, in between shallow breaths. “You weren’t supposed to find out, you were supposed to be at work.”

“Ah, yes. Of course I wasn’t supposed to find out.” You scoffed and busied yourself with throwing clothes inside your suitcase. “That much I know.”

“I’m sorry – “

“I’m sure you are.”

“I didn’t want it to come to this!” Bruce snapped, and you finally turned to him.

“Come to this?” Your voice was low, frail, frightened. Fuck. What was he doing? What was Bruce doing? Was this worth ruining your relationship over? Yes. Yes – of course it did. If it meant you’d be safe. Everything was worth it if you were safe.

You’d have your heart broken, yes. But in a few months, maybe years, you’d find someone else. A nice, normal man, with no secret identities and no secret life. You’d find a nice man and settle down. He would give you all his time, worship you like you deserved to be worshipped. Would take care of you and love you, and never put you in danger.

And you’d be happy. You’d be so happy; you’d have long forgotten about the asshole Bruce Wayne, who’d cheated on you and broke your heart.

“Yes, come to this.” He repeated. “You weren’t supposed to find out. I was supposed to have ended this long ago, and yet I let go for far too long.” Bruce tried to force some venom, some harshness into his words. He wasn’t used to talking like this to you, nor did he want to – but he had to try.

“What do you mean?” The clothes in your hands were long forgotten, and you just stared at him, like a deer caught in the headlights.

“I just – look, I hate to do this right now, and in these circumstances, but…”

“But?”

“We can’t be together anymore.”

Your eyes widened. What?

“I can’t keep lying to you. I don’t love you anymore.”

These words hit you like a truck.

Didn’t love you anymore?

“What?”

“That’s right.” Bruce sighed, trying to keep his composure. “This relationship is a mistake. You’re holding me back, and I just don’t love you anymore.” His voice was devoid of any emotion, while inside, he could feel everything slipping out of control. He loved you. How could he say such things? How were such words leaving his mouth?

“You – you don’t love me anymore?” You asked, eyes tearing up once more. Your breaths were coming in shallow; you couldn’t breathe, nor believe the stuff you were hearing.

“I don’t. I’ve been miserable – miserable – in this relationship,” He said your name, running a finger through his already unkempt hair. “I can’t keep pretending to be someone I’m not. Propose, settle down, get married – I can’t do it. I don’t see a future with you anymore. Please, you can’t tell me you haven’t felt the same!”

“No! I can’t!” You didn’t sound like yourself. You sounded sad, broken, out of breath, completely terrified. You thought your life with Bruce was going very well. You loved him, and he loved you. Yeah, okay, maybe he had some more work to take care of as of late, but that didn’t warrant a breakup. Did it? “We – we’ve been so happy, Bruce!”

“Fuck – I don’t love you anymore! This, this – this relationship is killing me here! I can’t keep on doing this, can’t wake up and pretend to be your Brucie, or a family man, or God forbid, someday your husband!” Bruce was fighting hard to keep his emotions away from this. Instead, he channelled all that energy into pretending to be angry with you. He put all the anger he felt towards the outside world and every criminal in Gotham, into this fake argument.

And by the look of your face, he was doing a good job.

“How… How long have you been doing this?” You whispered. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know the answer. Weren’t sure if you wanted to know how long your husband had been betraying you, sleeping with some other woman. Or women. It made you nauseous just to think of that.

“I…”

“Just tell me, Bruce!”

Bruce sighed, looking away.

“Three months.”

A choked sob was ripped from your throat, and you grabbed the nearest thing – a shoebox – raising it above your head. There were a million thoughts racing through your head, a million emotions plaguing your mind. But before you could throw the damned box at his head, you ran into the nearest bathroom, puking your guts out.

The whole situation made you nauseous alright.

As soon as you’d puked whatever you had to, you got up, washing your mouth and your teeth. Then, you turned to Bruce. He was standing in the middle of your bedroom, looking at you with a mixture of sorrow, disgust, and something else you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

You couldn’t stare at him any longer.

“I’d appreciate it if you left the Manor until the end of the day,” he said, looking at the ground. “I would like the master bedroom to be clean of your things.”

How could he speak like this? How could he say all of this after everything you two shared? Every word, every kiss, every touch? Had it not meant anything to him? Clearly not, by the way he was behaving.

You wiped your tears (unsuccessfully, since they just kept on rolling down your cheeks), and walked towards your closet, proceeding to stuff your clothes inside the suitcase. Just as you were about to shut your first suitcase, Bruce interrupted you.

“I’ll have someone else take to you the rest of your things. Just take that right now.”

You stood up, turning to him. First, he cheated on you, then he admitted to not loving you, then he broke up with you, and now he was kicking you out at full force.

You sneered.

“Where the hell am I supposed to stay, then? I live here.”

“Lived. Not live. You don’t live here anymore. Just get a hotel room somewhere, I’ll pay for it. But you have to go.”

“Why? So you can go back to fucking your new girlfriend?”

“Precisely.” The bite in his words shocked you.

There were no words. No words beside three little things you’d never thought you’d utter at the man standing before you.

“I hate you. I hate you, Bruce Wayne.” You said, tears cascading down your cheeks and marring your so lovely face. “Everyone warned me about you, but I didn’t listen. I was too in love with you to care about what anyone said.”

Bruce still refused to meet your gaze. He was sure that if he did, he’d break down too. And he was close, too close to let all of this go to waste.

“Should’ve listened to them.” You whispered.

And walked out, suitcase in hand.

“Alfred, make sure you take her – “

“I’ll see to it myself, thanks. I don’t need your help.”

With these words, you were out the door, and out of Bruce’s life.

As soon as you were no longer in vision, Bruce broke down.

He sat on his bed, hiding his face in his hands. You were truly gone. Forever. He’d done what he had to, and now you were gone. It was for the best, yeah, but that’s not to say it didn’t hurt.

Alfred quietly walked into the room. The sight of his boss leaning forward, looking absolutely miserable was a low blow. Finally, he’d found a source of happiness, of peace, of solace. Finally, he’d get to see his boy grow up, start his own family.

But all of that was over now.

He wouldn’t be there to walk you down the aisle and congratulate Bruce on his wedding day. He wouldn’t be there to see him drop to his knees when he found out you were carrying his child. He wouldn’t get to teach Bruce all the little hacks he learned from caring for him as a baby, wouldn’t get to tell your child the charming love story his parents had.

Master Wayne was miserable before you.

He was sure he’d get worse now.

“Master Wayne, I’ve sent Miss Roberts on her way.” He said quietly, standing on the doorway.

“Did you pay her?”

“Yes.”

“Enough?”

“She won’t tell a soul.”

The two men remained in silent for a while. Alfred did not know what to say. He understood where Bruce was coming from. He’d tried to talk some sense into his young master’s head, but to no avail – Bruce was going through with this madness and that was it. He’d tried telling him it wouldn’t matter; you loved him and would remain by his side forever, but he wouldn’t hear it.

In his head, this was the only solution.

“She’s going to be fine,” Bruce mumbled, dropping his hands, and looking at the ground.

“You’ve broken her heart, sir.” Alfred replied.

“She’ll be fine, Alfred,” Bruce retorted harshly. “She’ll go on with her life, forget about me, and she will be safe and that’s why we’re doing this – so she’s safe!”

The older man closed his mouth. There was nothing else he could do or say. It was done, and there was no turning back.

“Will you be fine, Master Wayne?” he asked at last.

Bruce did not answer right away. He shook his head, and Alfred swore he could make out the shape of his shoulders shaking ever so slightly – was he crying?

After a few moments, Bruce finally managed to calm himself. He took a deep breath, quickly wiped away any tears that might’ve escaped, and nodded, still avoiding his butler’s gaze.

“I will be. All that matters is that she’s safe. I’ll learn to be fine.”

“Is there anything you wish, sir?”

“No, you’re dismissed.”

And so, Alfred walked away, leaving Bruce to think the last few minutes over.

He’d lost you, sure.

But he would keep an eye on you from afar. Protect you from a distance. Make sure you were doing alright and that no harm had come to you. He’d be a silent protector.

And although he was hurting, he would bottle up his emotions.

Nothing else mattered, as long as you were safe.

But keeping tabs on you had proved to be quite harder than what Bruce expected.

You’d gone completely off the map, off-grid. You’d forsaken social media and most electronics and were doing a fantastic job of keeping away from his prying eyes. He knew for a fact you’d left Gotham, but to where, he did not know exactly. His sources told him you’d probably changed your identity, not wanting to be seen as Bruce Wayne’s ex-girlfriend anymore, wanting a life of your own.

At first, Bruce was terrified.

If you changed your identity and moved away, how was he supposed to protect you? This whole thing was meant to keep you safe – how was he supposed to live without knowing if all of his and your suffering had been in vain?

“Master Wayne, I understand your concern for the Miss’s well-being.” Alfred had told him one night as Bruce was drowning his sorrows in some very-expensive liquor. “But sometimes, we must respect the choices people make for their own safety.”

“What if something happens to her, Alfred?” Bruce asked, voice raspy from exhaustion and the drink. “What if she’s in danger and I can’t reach her? What if this whole thing was for nothing?”

“Sir, part of caring for someone is respecting their decisions. Dr. Jonathan Crane is long gone, and you yourself told me the information he had died with him. There is no one after you or the ones you love anymore. And most important, there is no one after her. If she’s changed her name, it only means she’ll be safer.”

Bruce sighed. Alfred was right to some extent – as he usually was. Crane was dead, and he hadn’t told anyone about you. Changing your name and your identity would probably keep you even safer.

“I loved her, Alfred. I still do.”

“I know, Master Wayne. I did too.” Alfred sighed, placing a comforting hand on the young man’s shoulder. “But you did what had to be done, now, didn’t you? You said it yourself. She is safe, and that’s all that matters.”

Bruce tried to follow that mentality.

For months, he tried to forget you.

Unfortunately, not only had you wormed your way into his heart, you’d done the same thing to his mind. He would wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, swearing he could feel your lingering touch, hear your heavenly voice.

During meetings, all he could think of was how you’d usually send him funny texts and memes you found on your lunch breaks. He no longer got your calls, telling him all about the gossip you’d heard at your workplace, and how much you missed him.

The manor felt empty without your touch, your laughter, your presence. Just the mere existence of your toothbrush was enough to calm him down, to remind him you were there, and real, and his.

But he was left with nothing.

You’d gone, and with you, taken his heart.

And yet, despite all the pain, all the heartbreak, life went on.

Days passed; seasons changed.

The daily cycle continued, interrupted.

The sun rose and the sun set, a small reminder that life waited for no one. Alfred told him many times that he couldn’t dwell on the past, and while he tried to, it was hard.

Winter became spring, spring became summer.

And Bruce Wayne’s heart remained unmended.

He tried to move on – really, he did. But he wasn’t quite sure he’d achieved it. He didn’t think of you as much anymore, but he also didn’t think of much else. It was as if he was numb to the outside world, going about his daily routine as Bruce Wayne and his nightly duties as Batman automatically.

It was as if he was on autopilot. Charity galas were boring without you to make fun of everyone, fundraisers sucked if you couldn’t talk to whoever was interesting and get him to have a good time.

Life went on, but it was as if his had paused.

Alfred did his best to keep him in check. Did not allow him to go without any meals, made sure he attended whatever events he had to, and patched him up after rough patrols. He too missed your presence but knew better not to mention it to his boss. All he wanted was for the young master to go back to the person he once was.

One day, he was on his way to Wayne Enterprises. It was late in the morning, but as the CEO of the company, he could afford to be late once or twice. Not only that, but it was also only natural for Bruce Wayne to be fashionably late – even if it was to his own job.

The car suddenly came to a halt. Something underneath Bruce seemed to deflate, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Alfred?” he asked, closing his newspaper.

“I’m sorry sir, there seems to be something wrong with the tires. Perhaps you could go out and check?” The butler replied with a cheeky grin.

“Don’t I pay you enough for that?”

“Not nearly, sir.”

“How unfortunate. Well, I’m quite comfortable here, so why don’t you check it yourself?”

Alfred nodded with a small smile and exited the car.

After around 5 minutes, he looked inside the limo and sighed.

“I’m sorry sir, but we have a flat tire. But we also don’t have a spare one in the trunk, so I’ll have to call someone.”

“Really?”

“Really, sir. I’m sorry.”

Bruce shook his head, waving his newspaper dismissively. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just go by foot.”

“Are you sure, sir? It’s still a few blocks away. Perhaps we should wait until someone comes to fix it. And what if something happens to you?”

Bruce gave his butler a pointed look, raising an eyebrow, to which the older man just sighed.

“Alright, fine, you stubborn, stubborn man.”

Bruce chuckled and exited the limo, quickly making his way down the street.

It would be good, clear his head of all the torment. Walking gave him peace, made his mind feel at ease. It was as if a burden as lifted off his shoulders, even if momentarily.

Unfortunately, this respite did not last long.

He was busy looking around himself – eyes trailing the balconies of older Gotham buildings, taking in every person, every door, every window, every life that lives inside each apartment – to notice the figures before him.

But once he was content with the things he’d seen (and decided to organise some sort of charity event, since his city needed him, especially the older streets, with decaying buildings and lives he were sure must be hanging by a thread), he looked up.

And what he saw stole his breath away.

You were standing a few meters away from him, pointing at a shopwindow that had caught your eye. A friend stood by your side; arm linked with yours. He couldn’t care less about her, eyes focused on you, on the big summer hat resting on top of your head and providing shade to your face, on the beautiful smile you wore, on the way your lips moved as you spoke animatedly, on the lovely white dress you adorned.

But most importantly, his eyes were focused on the pretty swell of your belly, and on how one of your hands cupped it lovingly, and the other trailed circles on top of it. He eyed the swell of your breasts that had grown larger, the way your entire being seemed to glow. Not from the sun, just entirely from you.

Bruce stopped dead in his tracks.

You were back. Back in Gotham, back in his life, back to him.

Don’t be an idiot – surely, she’s not back for you.

And how beautiful you looked, hand protectively over your belly. How dazzling, how breathtaking, how shining.

Without even realising it, Bruce stepped forward, eyes glued on your figure. You didn’t seem to notice him, still paying attention to the store in front of you. He could make out the small chatter you were having with your friend – and how much he’d missed the sound of your voice, the lovely musicality of your laughter – it made him feel lighter, fuller, happier.

“I like the blue one,” you said, turning to your friend, “And it’s rather big, so I’m sure he’ll grow into it.”

Your friend seemed to agree with you, “It’ll last for a few months, yeah. But the yellow one is pretty too, don’t you think?”

“Please. A Batman onesie? The last thing I want is my son to wear one of those. He won’t even know who he is, anyway, it’s not like I’m raising him here.” You scoffed.

The girl you were with chuckled, and only then did she notice Bruce, standing far too close.

“Um,” she poked your arm, and you turned to him.

It was as if the whole world faded away.

Your whole story played on your head. Your first meeting, spilling coffee all over his shirt, having a coffee bought by him, the countless dates you went on, dating, moving in together, living what you thought were your happiest years ever, getting proposed to, and eventually finding your husband fucking someone else.

You quickly dropped your gaze to your stomach before looking at him once again and taking a step back. It was stronger than you, an instinct to get away from this man as soon as possible.

"Hey," the words were tumbling out of Bruce's mouth before he could control himself.

When you didn't reply, he took another step forward, making you step back again.

"I have nothing to say to you," you mumbled, looking at your friend. You whispered a quick "let's go” to her and turned on your back to leave. Before you could do it, the man called out your name. You could hear the desperation in his voice, the worry, the heartbreak, the grief.

Tch, you thought, what is there for him to grieve? You're the one who lost your relationship, your home, the chance for your child to meet his father.

"Please, listen to me," he said, and you saw in his face such vulnerability it scared you. You didn't remember the last time you'd seen Bruce like this, face looking as if he was holding on by a threat.

You were that thread, Bruce thought to himself.

"Did you not hear her?" Your friend came to your rescue, hand protectively over your shoulders. "She doesn't want to talk to you. Now leave it."

Bruce wondered if she knew him. If she knew what he'd done. Had you told anyone? Had you kept it a secret? Might've been hard to do so – after all, tabloids had loved to exploit his breakup, plastering it all over every cover of ever magazine in Gotham. He'd paid them off to spare you from the spotlight and public eye, but it was too late. People had already begun talking; and what they were saying wasn't polite at all.

"You need to listen to me," he said softly, "You need to listen to what I have to say."

What was he doing? What was he saying? He shouldn't even be talking to you, should be keeping his distance like he'd been doing the past few months. His head told him to stay away – to turn around, go back to the pain and the sulking and the sleepless nights between empty sheets. But his heart was reaching towards you, hoping so desperately that you'd reach out too and save him from the torment he'd been living.

He knew he had no right doing this. He'd hurt you terribly – but it'd been for a good reason, no? He'd kept you safe long enough, hadn't he?

Was it selfish of him to want you back?

Because he did – desperately so. He missed your warmth and your touch. He missed your smiles in the morning and your giggles in the evening. He missed the way you scrunched your nose whenever you took a sip out of his coffee – black with one sugar. He missed the way you walked around with nothing but his shirts on when Alfred was out, teasing him to no end and relishing in the way Bruce's breath hitched when his eyes landed upon you.

But most of all, he missed the way you always comforted him and promised everything would be alright. He missed your tender touch and your warm embrace. Missed your love, and the effect it had on him.

He needed you back.

That much was certain, and he had no doubts about it.

He couldn't bear to be without you any longer. He would keep you safe – God damn it, he would, even if it was the last thing he ever did, but he couldn't be without you anymore. He couldn't live his days inside a Manor that seemed so dull without your shine, eat at a table that seemed so quiet without your chatter, and sleep in a bed that seemed so cold without your body next to his.

Your voice broke him out of his thoughts.

"There's nothing you could say to me that I would possibly want to listen," you said. But your heart was hammering in your chest, and you were sure if he were to strain his ears just a bit, he'd listen to how fast it was racing. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have places to be."

Bruce's heart fell. He was about to lose you again. He couldn't. His hand dropped to yours, and he held it tightly in between his palms.

"Please," he all but begged, "Just listen to what I have to say. And if you don't care about it, if you don't like what you hear, if you want to go, I'll let you."

"I don't care. Happy? Now let me go."

"Please."

The way he said it made your heart churn. His face was the epitome of heart break, eyes sagged, with deep dark bags under them. You knew Bruce hardly got any sleep as Batman, but this seemed too much. And there was something about the way he looked at you, as if you were some sort of mirage that could disappear within seconds.

You couldn't quite tell what it was. Perhaps it was your hormones feeling nostalgic. Perhaps it was curiosity, making you wonder what the hell he had to say to you that's so important.

Your brain yelled at you though, telling you to stay away from him. This man had ruined your life, used you and thrown you aside. You had no use for him. You deserved better.

And yet, your heart still yearned for him. You couldn't lie – as soon as you laid your eyes on him, it did a little flip, at it usually did.

As it used to do. Not anymore. You're not his anymore.

"Fine," you mumbled, shaking your head. "But not now. I'm busy."

"Yes, yes, of course," he said, nodding desperately. "When can you meet me? Tomorrow? Is tomorrow okay? Is it too soon?"

It's not soon enough, you thought. You really did not have anything else to do today but thought it better not to tell him. You couldn't give him all you wanted at once – you were afraid your poor heart couldn't take it.

Still, something inside you couldn't hide how much your heart still wanted him.

"Tomorrow is fine."

"Great, great. 4 in the afternoon? I could have Alfred pour us something? Maybe a few biscuits?"

It was endearing, how desperate he seemed to get you to sit with him. It was cute.

Stop it. He's not "cute", he ruined your life and tossed you aside. You just want closure. That's it – closure. That's all you want from him.

"Fine. Can I go now?" You asked, before shaking your head and rephrasing. "I'll be going now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait – Should I send for a driver?"

"Unless the Manor has disappeared and teleported somewhere else, I think I can manage." Saying this, you walked away, leaving Bruce at a loss for words, mouth gaping like a fish. There you were, in front of him, and just as quickly as he'd spotted you, you were gone. You were every bit as beautiful as he remembered you. He thought of your pregnant belly, and a shiver ran down your spine.

Whose baby was that? Was it his? Were you carrying another man's child? And why were you back in Gotham? Whatever reason it was, he silently thanked the heavens. It'd brought you back to him, and that's all that mattered. With a newfound sense of determination, Bruce ran back to his limo, where Alfred was still waiting for someone to fix his tire.

"Call the company," he exclaimed, out of breath and panting as he reached the older man. "Cancel all my meetings. Today's and tomorrow's."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. What the hell did his boss get into this time?

"May I ask why, sir?"

Bruce beamed.

"We have company."

Alfred had mixed emotions about you coming to visit.

On one hand, he was more than glad to see you. He missed you terribly, his book club pal, his gossiper, his nearly adoptive daughter. He looked forward to hugging you again, speaking to you, asking you how you were doing and learning how these past few months had been going for you.

On the other hand, he was positively mortified. He knew Bruce hadn't dealt very well with your absence, and he was afraid of what his young master might do now that you were here and willing to listen to him. And what would he say anyway? He knew Bruce was suffering and had never stopped loving you, but he didn't expect for him to actually try and win you back as soon as he laid eyes on you.

Sighing, he adjusted the tray on top of the kitchen counter, smiling when he heard the doorbell. Walking towards the entrance, he fixed his tie – he too wanted to look presentable for his favourite young lady – and opened it. Your sight was enough for his smile to grow wider. He took you all in, and his eyes got larger as he spotted the large bump on your stomach.

"Hey Alfred," you said, sporting a soft smile and another summer dress – this one, light green.

"Hello Miss." He replied, tears in his eyes. It made him emotional, you with your hands slowly supporting your growing stomach. He'd wanted to see this sight for so long, and while it was endearing, and you looked radiant, it was also heartbreaking that he hadn't been there to see most of it, and that neither had Bruce.

The very same question passed through his head: Whose baby were you carrying?

"You've got room for a plus one?" You asked, eyes dropping to your stomach.

"I think we can manage."

You walked inside, and hugged Alfred tightly close to you. You too saw him as family, and it had broken your heart to cut contact with him. At first, you thought about keeping his phone number and calling him occasionally; but after learning how everyone wanted to get their eyes on you, you decided that perhaps it was for the best if you ceased contact completely.

"I missed you so much, Miss. The Manor is not the same without you," he whispered, rubbing your back comfortingly.

"I missed you too, Alfred," you replied, tears forming in your eyes aswell. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I'm so sorry, I – "

"It's alright, Miss." He pulled away, looking into your eyes with that kind, warm, parental gaze of his, "I understand. I'm just glad I got to see you again."

With this, he led you towards the living room, where Bruce was already, pacing back and forth. It almost made you chuckle – big bad Bat by night, reckless playboy by day Bruce Wayne was pacing circles inside his living room, visibly worried sick.

"Master Wayne," Alfred said, signalling your arrival.

Bruce looked up and you'd think you had just offered him the cure to eternal life or something by the way his gaze held yours.

"Hey," he said, walking towards you, but thinking better of it and standing a few steps away from you. He held forward his hand, hoping that you'd somehow shake it. You did not, and he dropped it.

"Would you like something to drink? Alfred prepared coffee."

"I don't drink coffee. It makes me nauseous." You softly placed your hands on your stomach, and Bruce got the hint immediately,

"Yes – yes, of course. I'm sorry." He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. By the look of it, tousled and unkempt, you figured he'd been doing that quite a lot for at least the past half hour. "Is there anything else you'd like, though? A cup of water, perhaps some tea?"

"Tea would be fine, thank you." You turned to look at Alfred when you said these words, although Bruce could tell immediately they weren't for him by the way your voice was coated in sugar – something he knew he hadn't earned just yet. "You still know my favourite?"

"Of course, Miss," Alfred nodded politely with a smile, "I'll get it for you right away," and made his way towards the kitchen.

You and Bruce remained in silence for a while before he seemingly broke out of a trance.

"Please, do sit down."

You did so, carefully tucking a pillow behind your back, you stretched your legs ever so slightly and sighed in relief, hands resting on top of your stomach. "There, there", you mumbled, "All comfy, aren't we?"

Bruce eyed you and your stomach. There were so many things he wanted to ask you, and yet he did not know where to begin. Should he address the elephant in the room? Should he let you speak about it? What if you did not want to talk about it? Maybe the child wasn't even his – you could've moved on and started a life without him. He has no right to ask.

"You're looking..." he began. You waited for a continuation, and it surely came, seconds after. "Beautiful. Radiant."

"Thank you," was your polite response. You looked around the room – nothing had changed. Still the same paintings up on the walls, still the same portrait of Thomas and Martha Wayne holding a very tiny and very happy Bruce, still the same scent of lavender and books.

Still home.

"How have you been?" he asked, sitting down on the couch positioned next to yours, and trying his best to relax.

"How have I been?" you repeated. He wanted to catch up? Really? As if everything you had together in the past had meant nothing?

"Yes," he nodded, gesturing towards yourself. "How have you been these past few months?"

You scoffed. Fine. If he wanted to do this, then he would see it through until the very end.

"Oh, I'm doing just fine, Bruce." You said, venom evident in your words, dripping off them. "In fact, these last few months have been the jolliest of my life. The man I was in a relationship with, who's also the man who had proposed to me broke up because he said he did not love me anymore, and was fucking some random woman when I walked in on him, then he kicked me out of our home, had to go live in a hotel room for a few weeks before I finally got a place far, far away from his prying eyes, cutting edge technology and vigilante alter ego, then I have to deal with gossip magazines wanting to photograph my face and get some sort of statement from me, going as far as to trying to break into my house just to find out what truly happened."

Bruce winced at the harshness of your words. You'd had some terrible couple of months, clearly, and he didn't know what to say.

"But hey! How have you been, Bruce? How's life?" You were being sarcastic – that much was evident, and although he did deserve every ounce of cruelty you gave him, it also hurt.

"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head. "You can't imagine just how sorry I am... And how much I regret what happened."

"Ah," you sneered, twisting your face in disgust, "Is this why you invited me here? Because you regret hooking up with whoever that was back then? Got into a mess you couldn't undo? Miss me, oh so much, and need me back?"

Each word was like a dagger being plunged into Bruce's heart. Had heartbreak turned you so bitter?

No, not bitter. You were right, after all.

"I'm sorry," he said your name softly, sighing deeply. "I need to tell you something."

"And I'm sure I can't wait to hear whatever it is." You scoffed. Alfred quickly entered the living room, placing a tray with two mugs on the coffee table in front of you. He carefully handed you one of them, before walking away. Bruce's nose scrunched. Ouch.

"Thank you," you smiled at the butler, took a sip out of the mug, and sighed contentedly. "This man makes the best tea I've ever drank."

"He really does. But as I was saying, I need to tell you something."

"Bruce, I don't want to hear sob stories. I didn't come here to hear you whine and moan and complain about your life. I'm sure you suffered a lot, but I am not really interested." There you went again, sarcasm coming naturally to you and your words.

"I just need to tell you what really happened."

Another sneer.

"I saw what really happened Bruce. Stop it with the bullshit."

"Just – " Bruce took another deep breath. "Please. Just listen to me without any interruptions, please. If you want to scream at me and yell and slap me and punch me after, then that's okay."

"Tempting."

"But please, just let me speak."

"Okay."

Bruce looked at you in surprise. Okay? Just like that? So willingly?

"That's why I came here, isn't it? Please get it over with."

The man before you nodded. He wasn't going to sugarcoat things. It was time for you to know the truth.

"Back when we were engaged," he began, "There was this one night I went on patrol. And everything was going fine, until I ran into Crane."

You furrowed your brows. "Crane?" Then, you remembered what he'd said about interrupting, and muttered a quick "Sorry, go on."

"I ran into Crane."

It was almost as if Bruce could see the whole thing playing before him. The darkness of the night, the faint smell of the Scarecrow's fear toxin, the one he was immune to. It was all so clear in his mind – after all, that night was the beginning of the end.

"He started talking to me. Trying to get into my head, as he usually did. But that time was different. He... He started talking about me, my own personal life, my identity. And then he mentioned you." His gaze fell on you, and you were met with hopelessness and despair. It was heart-wrenching.

"He knew you. Knew you, he knew who you were, knew who I am. He threatened to tell Arkham City residents our identities. He threatened to hurt you if I didn't help him."

Your face was pale with worry.

"And what did you do? You didn't help him, did you? It's Crane!"

"The GCPD intervened and killed him on the spot. Some rookie officer convinced it was the best thing to do. Crane was holding a phone in his hand when he died. It contained files, files about all those close to me. I got to delete everything just before he sent it."

You listened attentively. No one had ever gotten as close to unmask Bruce. Well, no one until Crane. You had heard of his death, but only thought it was a good thing that such a criminal was out of the streets.

"And I..." Bruce hesitated. This was the hard part, telling you what he'd done, the hard choice he'd made. "I thought... It was unthinkable to lose you. I just couldn't. Crane had gotten too close. I was terrified darli – " he quickly corrected himself, switching to your name. "I couldn't lose you... I barely slept that night, thinking of what could've happened to you."

In your face, Bruce could see some recognition. Were you putting the pieces together? Did you know?

"I thought..." he continued, "I thought I had to keep you safe. And in my mind, you'd never be safe if you were with me. As long as you were associated with Bruce Wayne, you'd be in constant danger."

"No..." you mumbled, shaking your head,

"And you're so stubborn..." Bruce's eyes shed with unshed tears, voice carrying an amount of emotion you weren't familiar with. "You'd never listen to me. You'd stick by my side and argue that you loved me and didn't care about the danger..."

"You didn't..." you covered your mouth.

"So, the only plausible explanation was driving you away."

The tension shifted immediately in the room. Bruce couldn't tell what was going through your head, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"I paid someone to put on that little show with me, that day. I knew you were coming home early. It pained me so much to do it, I swear..."

"I can't believe this..." you stood up, attempting to do it quickly but failing because of your stomach. "I can't believe you would do that."

Bruce remained sitting, not wanting to distress you any further.

"Please, you have to understand – everything I did was for your protection."

"So you cheated on me to drive me away!?"

"We were going to get married! If you shared my name, you'd share your enemies, and I promised I would never drag you into my other life. I promised to keep you safe."

"Yeah!" You threw your arms up in the air in frustration. "So! You could've taught me martial arts! Gifted me a taser! Taught me how to throw a punch, give me a gun or something! Instead, you thought the brightest idea was to dump me?"

"It hurt like hell; it really did. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat – I was in hell without you." Bruce was getting desperate. This is not how he wanted things to go, not how he'd pictured it going. You were freaking out, understandably so, but some part of him was hoping you would understand. Would you ever?

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" You were getting angry now. This whole conversation was pissing you off.So Bruce had broken your heart because he wanted to protect you!? "We're two responsible adults, Bruce! You could've told me what happened."

"I couldn't. You would've never agreed to stay away from me."

"Exactly! Because I love you! I'd have stuck with you through thick and thin!"

Bruce was so engaged in the argument; he missed your slip. Love, not loved. Present tense.

"And that was precisely what I didn't want to happen! I didn't want to come home one night and found you dead on the ground or kidnapped! I was doing it all for you!"

"By breaking my heart."

"It had to be done."

"It didn't.

"I was thinking of you."

"How old are we, Bruce!? 16? 17? Why didn't you just talk to me?"

Alfred had tried to exit the perimeter. He didn't want to be anywhere near you two, but decided against that decision. Someone had to be able to step in and protect the young master. He was positive that given the chance, you'd throw something at him, and that was sure to leave a mark. He didn't doubt your abilities.

"I'm so sorry," Bruce pleaded, "But once again, please understand. I was just doing what i thought was best."

"You left me!"

"I was protecting you!"

"You left me, Bruce!" You yelled, unable to fight back your tears. Once again, you didn't know what got you so agitated. Maybe your hormones, maybe the lingering feelings you deep down still had for the man sitting down before you. "I loved you; I needed you by my side, and you left me! Because you thought someone was coming after me? You said it yourself – Crane did not send the files to anyone. We were safe. We were fine. And you went and destroyed everything we had because of some fear you had?"

It was Bruce's turn to stand up, defensively placing his hands in front of his chest.

"I couldn't lose you. Please, please, you have to forgive me. I was such an idiot, I shouldn't have done it, I know. I miss you – I miss you so much, I have for the past few months, I can't live without you."

"I couldn't live without you either and had to make do! I still have to!"

"There was an uncomfortable silence as the last few words hung in the air. It was then that Bruce decided to finally ask the question he'd been meaning to ever since he first saw you on the street.

"Is the child mine?"

You widened your eyes, looking away from him. Your hands instinctively went to your stomach.

"You have no right to ask that."

"Please. Just... Is it mine?"

You thought it over. There was no use in hiding it. The child would most likely grow up to look like him, bear his eyes and smile, scrunch his nose in the way his father did when confused. And for all it was worth, Bruce deserved to know. He wasn't a bad person, and you knew he'd be a good father.

"Yes," you mumbled, softly.

Bruce didn't hesitate to ask his next question.

"When did you find out?"

"A few days later. I was all by myself, and so scared, Bruce..." Sitting down, you looked at the floor, finding a sudden interest in examining your shoes. "It was the hardest thing I've ever done... Bearing this child all by myself, without you... As soon as my stomach started showing, I had to get out of here. Tabloids were going crazy, and I didn't want you finding out. I just wanted a normal life for him."

"Him?"

"Yeah. I know for sure, it's a little boy. I love him so much already..."

Bruce sighed, raking a hand through his hair. He knew he'd screwed things up the first morning he woke up without you by his side, but this was simply too much.

"I love you." The determination with which he said it took you by surprise. "I always have. I never stopped. I'm sorry for what I did. Fuck, I'm an idiot. I knew I would put you through hell, and I still did it because it would be the best for you. I'm so sorry."

These words did not fall on deaf ears. You were listening, hung up on every word. Bruce was right there, right in front of you, apologizing and confessing he still loved you. And didn't you love him back? Hadn't you spent countless nights crying over his absence, wishing it were his fingers wiping away the tears that refused to stop, wishing that he was there next to you the moment you realised you were pregnant, wishing he would hug you tightly, kiss your forehead and assure you everything would be fine? That it had all been a very bad nightmare and you were back at home with his body wrapped around yours?

"I... I don't know how I should feel," you said. Which was partially true. Some part of you did still love him, but he'd put you through too much heartache. You weren't about to just forgive him and kiss all his worries away and pretend nothing had ever happened. "You really hurt me, Bruce... I don't know if I can go through that again. What if someone else gets a hold of my information? Of your identity? Are you going to push me away again? Push our son away?"

Bruce looked at you, eyebrows furrowed, and in one quick motion, was down on one knee, hands desperately wanting to rest on top of yours. "I promise," his voice was soft, and it reminded you of your sweet Bruce, of the man you'd fallen in love with and were ready to love forever, "It won't happen again. I'll do better next time. Hell, there won't even be a next time. I promise. I can't live without you."

"Bruce, I... It's not as simple as that..."

"You don't love me anymore?"

"That's not what I said."

"So you do?" A hint of a smile.

"Gosh, Bruce, stop it! What you did was terrible – it destroyed me. Those were the worst months of my life, you have no idea how it felt to be me, alone and pregnant and scared! You can't just waltz back into my life and tell me you love me and are sorry. I don't trust you anymore. It's just not that simple."

"I understand."

Bruce sighed and stood up.

"I just wanted to tell you the truth, anyway. You deserve it. I'm really sorry for what I did."

Once again, you're basked in silence. This time, it was you who broke it, with a question of your own, one that had plagued you ever since he told you everything was staged.

"Did you sleep with her?" Your voice was meek, fragile. Did you want to know the truth?

"No." Bruce answered with determination. "We didn't have sex. I wasn't really naked."

Your eyes widened.

"I guess you were too mad to notice." He smiled sadly.

You looked away at the ground.

Somehow, it did make you a little more at ease that he hadn't really had sex with that woman. It didn't erase all of your pain but gave you some slight respite.

"Have you been with anyone, after..."

"No." He answered again. "There was never anyone else. Never could be. There was only just you. There's always been just you."

You nodded thoughtfully.

"Would you like to feel your son?"

"Huh?"

"He's kicking. Would you?"

Bruce gave you an enthusiastic nod and sat beside you, allowing you to guide your hands to the exact spot the baby was kicking him. Sure enough, he felt something press against his hand repeatedly. He chuckled, automatically leaning forward to feel it better.

"Hey there, little guy," he whispered. "I can't believe you're real."

You stood there for a while, him by your side, hand on top of your stomach. It felt weird, but in a comforting way. It was just you and Bruce and your unborn child, and you somehow felt like things were okay. Everything was fine.

"I've never stopped loving you either," you said after a while. Bruce turned to you, allowing you to speak. "When I found out I was pregnant, all I wanted was to call you, let you know we were finally going to be parents...

"I can't promise that things will return immediately to the way they were. I can't promise I won't be mad at you, because I am, I really am."

You shifted in your seat to face him better. Your eyes trailed his face; how you missed it. The lovely cheekbones you loved to trace on lazy Sunday afternoons, the forehead you loved to kiss on clingy mornings. He looked just as bit as handsome as he did the last time you'd seen him. His eyebags were deeper and more sagged, but that didn't stop him from being the most handsome man you had ever laid your eyes upon.

"But... I'm willing to try."

Bruce's head shot up.

What?

"You really hurt me, Bruce. I thought I’d never be happy again, thought my life would be ruined forever. I thought I'd lost the love of my life." Your voice failed. "But... although your idea was just terrible, you might have had the best intentions in mind. I just... Wish you'd have spoken to me first."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It killed me inside, it really did. But everything I do has always been for you. You must know that. Must know that every decision I take, good or bad, light or not, is always with you in thought." This time, Bruce did not avert his gaze. He was done looking away, done hiding, done being without you. Should this be the last time he ever saw you, he lingered on your face, committing it to memory. Your pretty eyes, the beautiful shape of your nose, your slightly parted lips. Had anyone ever been this beautiful?

"I know," you replied, giving him hope. "Which is why... Why I'm..." It took a deep breath and a few circles rubbed on top of your stomach to calm you down. This was a huge decision to make. Allowing Bruce back into your life could either be the greatest thing you would do, or possibly the worst. There was no middle-ground, and it scared you. You needed a middle-ground, needed a safety net, needed something that did not put your unborn son's life at risk.

And yet... You couldn't help but still want Bruce. You knew it. Your heart knew it. It still beat for him as loudly as it did the first time he'd kissed you, the time he'd asked you to be his, the first time you woke up with him by your side. You knew his intentions were good. His idea was terrible – fucking terrible – and it had only cost you pain and sadness. But you also knew Bruce made reckless decisions when it came to you. He was in love, and he was extremely protective. He had no one aside from Alfred and you and knew damn well he couldn't get rid of the old butler even if he tried; but would try his hardest to get rid of you if it only meant you got to live another day.

It was both endearing and soul-crushing, as things often were with Bruce.

"Which is why I'm willing to give you another chance."

Bruce released a sigh of release, and dropped his head to his hands, unable to say a word.

"Again, I can't promise I'll forgive you over night. I've just had the worst few months of my life. I won't fall back into your arms immediately. But I want to give you a chance to make things right."

It was only when you saw his shoulders shake, that you realised Bruce was sobbing. You placed a tentative hand on his shoulder and felt him shake his head.

"Bruce?" you asked, "Please talk to me, are you alright?"

He looked up at you and smiled. You quickly realised they were tears of joy.

"I love you so, so much. And I will spend every day of my life for as long as I shall live showing it. I'll make things right. I know I can't take back these past few months, and I know I can't magically take away the pain – nor can I wish for your forgiveness all at once. But I'll make it up to you. Forever. That is my promise to you. Because I love you. Fuck, it's insane how much I love how much I always have. You're my family, and I never want to be parted from you. Ever again."

He reached towards your face, his fingers wiping away something wet. Were you crying? Surely tears of joy too.

"I love you too, Bruce. I never really stopped."

He nodded and leaned closer to your face, eyes dropping to your lips. It was a small question, but he wanted to be sure.

"Is this okay? Can I?" he asked, eyes never leaving your mouth. "Please?" The last question was whispered so softly, you were actually not sure if you'd actually heard it, or just imagined it.

You replied in kind.

"Please."

And without missing a beat, he pressed his lips against yours.

His kiss was familiar. It felt like home. Bruce kissed slowly, taking his time. He was learning you all over again, tongue playfully fighting with yours. His hand cupped your cheek, and he brought you closer to him. It felt nice, it felt familiar, it felt like home.

You still perfectly in his arms, and the thought made Bruce smile into your kiss, pouring even more of himself into it. You gave back tenfold, pressing against him and wrapping your arms around his neck. You missed this. Missed him. Missed not knowing where you ended and he began, missed feeling the soft beat of his heart against your chest, missed the soft groans that rumbled in his chest, missed being enveloped by him.

When you two eventually parted for air, he did not rest, kissing every inch of your face, until you were smiling and giggling and holding his face in place so you could look him in the eye.

"I love you." You spoke.

"I love you too," he replied, before caressing your stomach. "I promise I'll be here for him. I love him so much already. I'll spoil this boy rotten, give him everything he ever needs."

You smiled.

Your life had taken quite a nasty turn after Bruce had "cheated" on you and dumped you. Back then, you thought it was merely because he was, after all, the billionaire playboy everyone accused him of being. Now, you knew it was only because he loved you more than anything and wanted to keep you safe. Yes, he had hurt you, and you wouldn't forget that so easily – but it had still been an action out of love.

You'd been so lost the day you found out you were pregnant, crying on the bathroom of a hotel, clutching your stomach, and feeling like shit.

But right now, with Bruce by your side, his hands on your stomach and cheek, and his eyes regarding you with such tenderness, such warmth, you knew all would be fine.

You'd finally found each other again.

A/N: Whew!!!! We made it!!! Yay!!!! Okay so, in case you've made it this far and are interested to find out what the hell happened to me, just keep on reading!

So, as I mentioned before, I just got back to uni. It's killing me. It's kicking my ass. I've been sleeping less than 5 hours per day, and am currently losing my sanity. I don't have the time to sleep, to study, to write. There's so much to do and it's only the second week, and I'm really sorry for the delay, but things have been hectic. I can't remember the last time I slept more than like, 5 hours.

So, this fic is a bit longer than my other 200 Followers Event one. Here's the thing: I got a lovely request from @xxemmarldxx, but in my mind, it was far too big, and far too ambitious for a short 2/3k word drabble (which was the point of my event). So I told her I would do it properly some other time, because it was just too good, but would end up being way too big.

A few days later, I get this request. And they're very similar. Like, really, really similar. So I was like "You know what. Let's combine them. How about we combine the two, and write a big ass drabble the way I wanted to?"

This is the result. I've been writing this for the past week, and to be fair, it was KILLING ME. I was writing in every possible break, using every free space possible to get a few words in, and at some point, I started seeing it more as a "chore" than something I wanted to do. It became "the fic I need to finish", sort of like a burden. And it's not the requesters fault!!! It's just, I was so busy that, in the middle of everything, I couldn't find joy in writing because I was so stressed.

I'm sorry if this piece is bad. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think I've done much better in the past, and this is not my best work. The word count got away from me and by the end I was just freaking out because I couldn't write anymore. And that was a real bummer because I love writing and I loved this request so much.

I hope you guys liked reading it and enjoyed it! I really do! I think that for a while I won't be able to write Bruce hahaha, I got a bit tired.

Anyways, I hope you're all having an amazing day!!! <3

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne x y/n #bruce wayne x you #bale!bruce wayne #bale!batman x reader #bale!batman #bale!bruce wayne x reader #the dark knight #the dark knight trilogy #nolanverse #the dark knight fanfiction #the dark knight fanfic #nolanverse fanfiction #bruce wayne fanfiction #batman fanfiction #batman x reader #batman x fem!reader #bruce wayne x fem!reader

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personasintro · 8 months

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Mutual Help | #42

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.7k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢

The first time you've stepped into the apartment, you could notice the lingering smell of take-away in the air. Chinese, you'd guess while taking off your boots. To be honest, it had been your way of not focusing on the person standing in the same room while watching you. The smell of food hasn't been the only thing lingering in the air, you're sure you could smell the awkwardness and tension in it too from the moment you've stepped through the front door.

You've never been here before. You've always hung out at your place, knowing there won't be anyone disturbing you. And there hasn't been the right time for you to come over and meet Haneul's roommates, since one of them has always been here and this place had been barely empty and free of his nosy roommates.

But it's different now. There is a complete silence in here and it feels like it's just the two of you. You and Haneul.

After Jungkook drove you home, you found another message from Haneul suggesting you could meet the next day, saying he can come over or you can come over, not forgetting to add there won't be anyone at his place. You thought about it – weighing the pros and cons of the unavoidable situation and conversation you're about to have. If you were doing this at your place, you'd probably feel more comfortable because you're home. But if anything goes downhill, it's always better to leave than to be the person who has to kick someone out. You'd like to avoid that and that's why you've agreed to come meet Haneul at his place.

It's not very different from what you've imagined it to look like. There are random things laying on the floor, not necessarily a mess. There are three skateboards – two in the entryway and one in the living room, leaned against the wall. A few clothes are just laying here and there as Haneul curses silently at his roommates while he takes the clothes and tosses them into one of the rooms.

"I'm sorry about the mess." he tells you as he finally joins you and sits on the opposite side from you, who's sitting on the couch, while he sits on a chair that's angled towards you.

You finally take the courage to look him in the eyes, feeling a slight pang in your chest at the sight of him. You're not sure what's the cause of it. Whether it's the bags under his eyes and clear sight of him being tired, or his soft features that you've always admired but then you're reminded what happened and what he said that it all fades away. You don't know.

There's a still fresh bruise on his cheek and jaw, looking way worse than Jungkook's knuckles. The bruise being a reminder of what happened too. It looks painful, Jungkook definitely didn't go easy on him with that punch.

The only thing that feels right is for you to clear your throat and sit straight, features clear out of any emotions. "I didn't come here to see if you and your roommates clean this place," You almost don't recognize your voice – how cold and stern you sound. "I came here to talk about us."

Haneul is surprised, you can see it from the way his eyes slightly widen as he slowly nods. "Of course." he murmurs, awkwardly shifting on his spot.

He just sits there, not sure what to say and you just wish he'd take the lead, but you both have a lot to say. Taking matters into your own hands, you clear your throat again as you focus your eyes on the game controller for a minute.

"Okay, I'll start," you say, not wanting to beat around the bush. "I'm sorry it ended this way, I wasn't planning on that to happen. But you need to know that one of the things I planned, was telling you about me and Jungkook,"

You see the way he tenses at the mention of Jungkook, the topic clearly still sensitive.

"As much as I've tried to understand your point of view, and I think I understood some of it... I think you need to try and understand me too. We've been dating for a month. What happened between me and Jungkook is such an intimate and personal topic, I don't go around and tell everyone my private business. I know you're my boyfriend, or was I don't even know--"

"I am, I didn't break up with you." he cuts you off with a slight frown, not really liking how you suspect him of not being your boyfriend.

"Listen to me," you scold him through clenched teeth and he shuts his mouth immediately. "I know you as my boyfriend deserve to know about this. I wanted to tell you once I was hundred percent sure about us. Don't be mad at me, but dating someone for one month isn't a long time. I didn't feel comfortable telling you about it and I feel even more uncomfortable to know I wasn't the one telling you and that you didn't hear it from me. I've a right to feel uncomfortable talking about such an intimate and private thing, you've to realize this happened before I even met you. I didn't cheat on you, I didn't lie to you and I was planning on telling you. Some part of me knew once you'd know about me and Jungkook, you would see him and us in a different light and I was right,"

You take a deep breath, looking around for a few seconds before you continue.

"I wanted you to see me and Jungkook as friends, I knew the truth could and would eventually mess up your perspective. I wanted you to understand our friendship which I knew from the start wouldn't be easy. Me and Jungkook have always been close, whether you like it or not. Way before we had our deal. But it hasn't affected us the way you probably think it has. I can't blame you for that, at least not that much. There are a lot of people who just don't get us just because we're a woman and a man. They didn't get us way before our deal happened and they don't get us after,"

You realize there's a certain sexual tension between you and Jungkook. Your dreams and own mind is reminding you that often, but it doesn't happen to the point you'd even consider something more. The two of you have your own lives, even though you're involved in each other's life very much.

"I understand it must be uncomfortable for you to know about us. To suddenly question our every interaction and see something more behind it, but it's not like that. I know you've been questioning our friendship and some part of me understands that too. But what I told you about our friendship with Jungkook is a complete truth, I warned you we're close and I asked you to trust me. You told me you trust me."

"I trusted you," he speaks up, frowning a little. "I trusted you and then I found out you slept with him."

"Slept with him before I even knew you and we were both single. With whom I slept with before our relationship is technically none of your business." you snap, taking a deep breath to calm down yourself.

"But he's not just anyone. He's your best friend, someone you hang out with almost every day, you're in touch with him every day."

"I get that, I know it's weird but this is where the trust comes. You sound jealous."

He scoffs at that, looking away which just proves your assumptions. He is jealous.

"So what?" He finally admits it. "What's so wrong with being jealous after finding out my girlfriend used to sleep with her best friend?"

You scoff at that, shaking your head. "Because I told you to trust me and that there's no reason to be jealous. If me and Jungkook wanted to date, we'd do that a long time ago."

He stares at you, a frown slowly fading away as he lets his thoughts take over for a moment before his features soften.

You're not sure how to feel about this. About him. You've barely started and you feel even more conflicted with each second. One second you look at him and are just reminded of all the good times you shared with him, even though there haven't been that many but you remember that feeling of excitement – how excited you were to spend more time with him, to let your relationship grow. And you just want to go up to him and cuddle him, be close to him again.

But the other second you're reminded of the mess that's been created, how much he hurt you. As much as you think you're not innocent in this, you're definitely not the bad guy here either.

"Alright, I was insecure too," he admits, letting out a shaky breath. "After finding out about you two, I was just reminded of how good you get along. And Jungkook is... well, he's him and I can't possibly compete with that."

"You don't have to compete with anyone, Haneul," you remind him, also understanding that this is where his insecurity is coming from. "Jungkook is amazing but I chose to date you for a reason. Jungkook is completely in love with his girlfriend."

"Yeah... but... I felt like an asshole there. I was so embarrassed in front of everyone."

"Not everyone knew, I'm not sure how many people know about it but I guess everyone probably knows by now. Thanks to the scene you caused," You don't mean to sound so accusatory but you can't help it, the bitter feelings are coming back.

His scowl is prominent and you know he doesn't like you accusing him of it being his fault.

"I wish you'd handle things more maturely. We should've talked about it, sit down like adults and discuss it and even though I understand you needed a space, you didn't have to leave so suddenly and leave me there practically without anything, not knowing what will happen with us."

"I told you I'm not breaking up with you." he remarks.

"Yeah, after I asked you because you were too immature to talk to me like an adult," you bark, "But I've been understanding about that too,"

Now it's your turn to glare at him, making sure he sees the way your features turn cold and angry.

"What I don't understand is, how dare you to slut-shame me? You did it in front of everyone but even if you didn't, how dare you do that?"

Haneul gulps at your suddenly loud and angry tone, opening his mouth before he closes it again.

"How dare you bring Jimin and Taehyung into this? How dare you assume I slept with them?"

"Y/N..."

"You hurt me, you made me so embarrassed and mad for saying that," You hate how shaky your voice is starting to sound, but you need to say this. If you don't, you know you'd just regret it later. "I thought I knew you but you completely shocked me. That wasn't like you at all. Or maybe I never knew the real you. One month is a short time to get to know someone perfectly, isn't it?" Chuckling bitterly, you shake your head at yourself for having so much trust in him.

"No, Y/N... please, it's me. I'm sorry, I was just mad and hurt too. I didn't mean it."

"You don't slut-shame someone just because you're mad and hurt!" you exclaim, voice cracking as you feel your eyes getting watery. Oh, get it together Y/N. "That was the last drop."

"W-what does this mean? You don't want to be with me?" It's almost funny how scared he suddenly seems to be at that thought. When you were the one crying and begging him to stay to talk it out with you, he left like a coward. But you still had excuses for him. He's just mad, hurt and heartbroken by the news. And then he said what he said.

Up until now, you've been a little conflicted about how your relationship will end up. That's why you wanted to meet him and see for yourself how you feel about him, about the two of you. But the more you talk and the more you've him in front of you makes your decision more clear. Nothing is final yet though.

"Tell me Haneul," you start, ignoring his question. "If I told you and you knew it from me... would you react differently? Be honest."

You're not sure if he will be honest with you. He could easily lie to you and tell you that yes, he'd act differently. You see him looking at you with those brown eyes, his lips settling downwards as he slowly shakes his head.

"I don't think so, no," At least he is honest which makes you nod appreciatively. "I'd still be insecure and jealous. Mad and hurt..." he trails off. "Listen Y/N, I'm so sorry for reacting the way I did. I'm sorry for saying... slut-shaming you." He winces at the mention of that.

"Sorry doesn't cut it for me." you snap at him, giving him another glare as he sighs, scratching his cheek but wincing immediately when he realized he scratched the bruised one.

"It's a start, I've to apologize. I know it doesn't change what I said. Like you said, I should've been more mature, I should've talked to you about it but at that moment it felt like something impossible. And with my grandma... I just felt like I needed to leave,"

You're not sure if he purposely brought his poor and sick grandmother into this, but you're not about to find out. There are more important things to be dealt with.

"I got a punch I deserved."

"You definitely deserved that," you snap, "If I wasn't so shocked, I'd slap you instead."

"You can slap me now." he proposes innocently, causing you to roll your eyes as you dismiss him with a wave of your hand.

"I probably should but you already look like you're in a lot of pain, deserved pain." you comment sassily, scoffing a little as you cross your arms over your chest and glance at him.

"I can show you how much I'm sorry, if you gave me another chance." he almost whispers, sounding too insecure and almost scared to propose that. A little part of you maybe feels bad for him, you are not going easy with that glare on him. You know you probably look crazy and intimidating.

"I'm not sure if I can..." you murmur, glancing down at your lap as you start fiddling with your fingers but not before you notice the way a real fear crosses his face. He realizes that he's losing you.

"Isn't a relationship about compromises?"

You frown, "What are you talking about?"

"We should be more understanding to each other, I should trust you more, I'm sorry I didn't. I thought I did but... you know what I'm insecure about and I'm pretty sure we could change that too. We both need to make some compromises and sacrifices."

Sacrifices? And then it hits you...

"Jungkook," you whisper, Haneul slowly nodding. "What does he have to do with this?" you frown, seeing Haneul sigh.

"Do you think any guy will be completely understanding towards your relationship with him?" He raises his brow, surprising you by his audacity as you're ready to lash out at him but before you can do that, he's already continuing. "No man will ever understand that you're so close to another man, closer in ways you're not with your own boyfriend, whether that's me or someone else."

That definitely hits a sensitive spot and even though he doesn't sound completely bitter, keeping his voice nonchalant and honest, it still irks you and makes you glare at him even more, practically making you fuming.

"You're asking me to choose between you and Jungkook?" you ask lowly, giving him another chance to think about his answer before he says it as you glare the hell out of him.

However, he doesn't look too bothered by your evident anger.

"I'm talking about a certain boundary between you and him."

He can't be serious.

"You're asking me to change my friendship with him?" you exclaim, staring in disbelief at him and you grip the edges of the beige couch tightly. "Not happening." you snap.

"See? You're not even willing to work this out," he exclaims, "I'm just asking you to be respectful towards me and keep a boundary between you and him. You're too close to him."

"You're crazy," you breathe out, standing up which surprises him because he does the same. "You're so insecure and jealous that you don't even see what I've been talking about. I'm not changing anything about me because this is irrelevant to our problem. You're insecure, it's your problem."

"That's not fair, Y/N and you know it."

"You know what? Maybe if things were different, I'd be able to think about it. But I know why you're saying all of this and you'd constantly have a problem with something, with anything that has to do with Jungkook. I'm not sacrificing my friendship with Jungkook for an unhealthy relationship, for someone who slut-shamed me and disrespected me like that. Maybe I made a mistake, even though I know I had a right not wanting to tell you so soon, but I definitely don't deserve someone treating me like that," you bark at him, your features twisting to a hurt and disgust.

"I deserve better. When I came here I didn't know what to expect, I spent two days trying to figure out how to solve this and thought about possible outcomes. But now that I'm here, now that I've talked to you... I just know I don't want to be with you, Haneul."

His mouth opens, eyes watering immediately as he shakes his head trying to get closer to you but you outstretch your arms to stop him. "Please, don't do this."

"Jungkook asked me if I love you. I told him I'd be able to, before any of this happened. It's too soon to talk about love anyway. But now I know, now I'm sure breaking up with you will be the best decision for both of us. It's not easy, trust me, it pains me too."

"Then don't leave me." he begs, trying to reason with those brown puppy eyes as you shake your head, surprised that you're already not crying.

"Don't put this on me Haneul," you laugh bitterly, "You were the one who left me."

"I-I was just-- I told you I needed some space."

"You were the one who made this decision for me, Haneul. From the moment you disrespected me by slut-shaming me, bringing my friends into this. I was just too naive to think that maybe there's a way to fix this. I wanted to see you to be sure, but deep down I knew."

"Y/N, come on. I love you!" he says hurriedly as if those three words would change anything and it does make you laugh a little.

"You don't love me," you disagree, "I'm just your first serious relationship. I'm your first in a lot of things and I know you'll find someone else. Whoever that is, treat them better. You're not a bad guy, Haneul."

"Then be with me!" he exclaims and you see the panic in his eyes. He's not making it very easy but you're already determined about your decision. It doesn't feel the most comfortable but you know it's the right one.

"We wouldn't work," you shake your head, giving him a pained smile as you brush past him. "Bye, Haneul."

He stands there, luckily does nothing to stop you because you're not sure how many more minutes you'd manage to be here. You're quick with putting on your boots and jacket, not waiting for him to properly say goodbye to you, you're not sure if he even wants to. So you open the door and get past them, closing them with a thud that must've alarmed him you already left. You feel slightly empty on your way downstairs to your car, not fully processing what has just happened and you don't plan on trying to do that.

You've to focus on the road and driving in your scrappy car. If something happened to you, Jungkook would be the first one to kill you.

It still hasn't totally come upon you. Not even after being almost for an hour home. Somewhere in the back of your mind, Haneul still lingers there and so does your conversation with him. You're trying to busy yourself by tidying your place, cursing at yourself for taking care of your clothes and unpacking all of your stuff once Jungkook drove you home. You had to distract yourself then too but now you definitely need it more.

Jungkook must be on his way to Seoul or is in Seoul by now. He texted you in the morning, checking on you very subtly which proved to be not as subtle because you could see right through him. He looked unsure once he parked in front of your apartment complex and helped you with your stuff upstairs.

"You sure you don't want anything to drink or eat?" you ask him once you see him getting out of your bathroom, after he went to use it.

"Ah, no thanks," he answers, giving you an appreciative bunny smile as he scratches the back of his neck.

He sees you sitting on your couch, suitcase laying in front of you fully opened as you start putting out your dirty and used clothes. You notice him standing there, remembering that he's probably waiting to say goodbye so he can drive back to the cabin.

"You sure you will be fine?"

As most of the time, he beats you before you can say or do something. Sighing, your shoulders slouch a little.

"Kook, I wanted to come here for a reason," you tell him, raising your brow at him but he just stands there standing at you expectantly. You know what he wants. "Yes, I'll be fine."

It's his turn to sigh, slowly making his way towards you as he sits next to you. You know as soon as he's out of that door, you'll be left alone with your thoughts and feelings. You could use some company but you're not stupid enough to say that to him, knowing he's willing to stay. It wouldn't be fair to him. He has a girlfriend he has to get back to. He has his stuff there too and it wouldn't make too much sense for him to stay here. Plus, you'd feel guilty for keeping him here.

There's no way Jungkook hears your thoughts but well, he's Jungkook and he's worried about you. That much can be told by the way he keeps watching you unsurely and hasn't left yet.

"I can stay here for a bit," he proposes, ignoring the way your head snaps towards him and a little scowl makes its way on your face. "To keep you company."

"That's a stupid decision and you know it," you tell him, "Just go back, Kook. I'll be fine..."

The truth is, Jungkook would really like to stay over, to slouch lazily over your couch like many times before, and eat some junk food with you while watching some random movie. He's tired, not something he'd admit out loud knowing you'd scold the hell out of him. But he also knows he has to get back. He should get back but if you let him know you need him here, he'd work something out. So far, you look very determined on him leaving and he knows it's only for his own sake. Selfless as always, he thinks as he stares at you with a soft look.

"It's already dark outside and you still have a four hour long drive," You try to reason with him, seeing him nod but not seeing him moving from his spot. "Jeon, otherwise I'll kick you out."

"That's mean," he comments, chuckling when you do the same but give him that stern look. "Alright, but I'm one call away if you need someone to talk to."

"I know, you told me like a hundred times, so did Jimin and Tae."

"Pff, Jimin and Tae," he scoffs, playfully rolling his eyes. You know he's doing that to distract you, to make you laugh. "They're nothing compared to me." he jokes, standing up as you roll your eyes at him.

"If they heard you, they'd kick your ass." you point out, seeing him puff out his chest cockily.

"We all know I'd kick both of their asses easily."

"Alright, you macho man, your turn to leave," you laugh, ignoring the dramatic gasps he lets out. Reaching for your wallet, you pull out a cash and hand it to Jungkook who stares at your hand with a frown once he realizes you're handing him something. "For the gas."

He keeps frowning, touching your hand as you think he's taking it from you, already thinking this was easy but not until you realize he's done it to push your hand away.

"Keep it," he tells you, "And my car is electric, it doesn't need gas."

You roll your eyes. You obviously knew that, how could you when he spent hours talking about it? It's his second love, right after Kiko of course.

"You know what I mean," you mutter, "Just take it. You drove four hours here to drive me home and you're driving another four to get back. This is the least I can do for you."

Jungkook scoffs, shaking his head and pushing your hand away again when you try to hand him the money. "I said keep it,"

You ignore his deep and stern voice, insisting on him taking it as you keep shoving your hand and the money to his face. He grabs your wrist, scowling at you. His touch is not too tight, he's making sure he's not actually hurting you.

"Consider this as your Christmas present."

You let your hand fall as you groan at him. "That's stupid. You already gave me Christmas presents."

"So? Can't I spoil my best friend?" He cocks his brow at you, pursing his lips as you chuckle at him.

"No, you can't--hey!" you exclaim when you're enveloped in a tight hug, Jungkook's arms tightly around your frame before he lets you go.

You barely recover from the sudden and surprise hug, seeing him walking away from you with his face turned to you as he waves at you. "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Jeon!" you yell at him, groaning when you hear him putting on his boots and grabbing his jacket. "Drive safely!"

"Alright, mom!" You hear him yell from your entryway, making you snort.

"Idiot!" you yell at him, the laugh can be heard in your voice as you hear Jungkook snicker.

"Brat!" he calls back.

The next thing you hear is your front door being closed, the laughter dying down as you realize you're by yourself just like you wanted. You're just not sure if that's really what you needed, especially when someone reminds you of themselves in a form of text.

The memory from yesterday makes you smile a little, Lucifer episode running on your television while your thoughts are in another world. You focus on it for a moment, being interrupted by your phone chiming with a message notification which makes you glance at your phone that's tossed next to you. You flip it over to check the screen, not surprised when you see a message by Jungkook.

Kook: just came back

Kook: are you at home?

Opening the message, you start typing.

"yeah"

You're not sure what else to type, so you just go along with this message as you send it. His message came right away and you knew he must've been waiting for your reply. You know he's checking on you again. He knew you've already talked to Haneul by now, you told him you're about to meet him around lunch time. Which reminds you that you've barely eaten since you came back home.

Kook: are you okay?

It's the same repetitive question he's been asking you for days now. It should get annoying by now but you can't bring yourself to feel annoyed, not when you appreciate him worrying this much about you. Jimin and Taehyung texted you too earlier, always reminding you that they're here for you.

Kook: how did it go?

You know he's careful but curious at the same time and honestly, you've no reason to lie. You bite on your lower lip, suddenly feeling sad when you replay today's events and read Jungkook's message. It's not his fault though, it's your emotions that are playing with you.

"I broke up with him" Is all you text, keeping it casual while ignoring the sudden pang in your chest.

What you can't ignore is the rush of emotions when Jungkook's name starts flashing on your screen, notifying you of your incoming call. He probably knows you're not that okay and decides to check it himself. With messages, you can easily type whatever you want but one word from you and he'll know how you truly feel.

You pick it up, sucking in breath as your teeth cage in your bottom lip. At this rate, it'll bleed soon.

"Y/N," Jungkook murmurs, voice worried and pitiful. "Come on talk to me." he tells you softly and that's the final straw.

You're not sure what comes over you but you start sobbing immediately. You've been relatively fine by now, probably because you caged in most of your emotions. But something about hearing Jungkook makes you sob, letting him hear you as you give him an answer at the same time.

"Aw, baby," he whines and you can clearly hear a pout in his voice.

You even cry at the pet name, knowing he doesn't mean it in the way he used to call you, but it's still enough to make you cry as you sniffle into the phone.

"I'm coming over, okay? Wait up for me." he tells you, not declining the call just yet, wanting to hear your answer.

You feel bad for him coming over when he barely made it home. But you can't be more empathic than that because all you can do is nod as you open your mouth.

"Okay."

And that's all that Jungkook needs to hang up, leaving you to your silent sobs that calm down slowly as you cuddle to your blanket. The TV show running on your television is just a white noise that you could care less about, your watery eyes blurring your vision anyway.

By the time you hear a set of soft yet rushed knocks, you've calmed down a little and your heart jumps at the sound. Jungkook is here, you think as you get out of your blanket that's been wrapped around your body as you stand up and make your way to the front door. You barely manage to open the door, met with Jungkook's doe eyes full of sadness before you're enveloped in a hug.

It's almost funny how that simple act makes you cry even more, face hidden in Jungkook's chest as he slowly guides you deeper into the room while he closes the front door with his foot. You feel his cheek pressed against the top of your head, arms hugging you tightly.

"Shhh, it's okay," he assures you, hearing you sniffle. You feel pathetic but oddly calm and at peace because you know you're not alone. Jungkook has a weird sense of comforting others, or maybe it's just you and the fact he's so close to you, being a person who you need most at times like these.

He slightly pulls away after a moment, his hands grasping your face as he gives you an empathic smile. "Let me just take off my shoes and jacket."

Nodding, you sniffle and wipe your cheeks from your tears while Jungkook quickly takes off his black boots and jacket. He neatly sets it to its place before he's grabbing you by your hand and pulling you into the living room, where he's met with a sight of a TV show running and a blanket that's messily crinkled on your couch. He leads you there, urging you to sit up as you're already leaning against him.

He hugs you, pulling you even closer as you start sobbing again while he rubs your back while the other hand caresses the back of your hair.

"Did he say something? Did he hurt you?" Jungkook asks after a moment of comforting you, voice growing alarmed but yet still cautious.

You shake your head, pulling away so you can look at him. His eyes find you immediately, hand brushing away a strand of hair falling onto your face.

"I just realized I don't want to be with him," you admit, your voice coming out weak and sad which makes Jungkook's eyes soften at the sound of it. "Is it stupid I'm crying over him? I mean... I've been dating him for a month only."

"Hey, that doesn't mean you can't be sad about your break-up. You still liked him." Jungkook points out lightly, wiping more tears off your cheeks.

"Yeah, I know," you whisper, "I'm glad we talked, I said things I wanted to say and I got to hear him out which made my decision easier."

"So it went all good?" he asks, reaching for the tissue pack as he pulls one out and hands it to you.

"Thanks," you mumble, embarrassingly emptying your runny nose from all that crying. You haven't been bawling your eyes that much but you've still cried more than you expected to. "I'm not sure good is the right word but it didn't go wrong either. It wasn't very comfortable but that's not surprising considering we were about to discuss all that has happened between us... I don't know. I wasn't as emotional, not until you called. I just bursted into tears after that."

You let out a chuckle that Jungkook quickly follows, chuckling with you as you toss your used tissue onto your coffee table.

"It's okay to cry it out, it doesn't matter how many months you were dating him. You've a right to be sad," he tells you, soothing your saddened heart which you appreciate. "Did you break-up because of us? Because of our deal?"

Now he sounds almost insecure, maybe even worried and guilty when he brings up that topic. You get it, if that was the case it'd mean Jungkook is somehow involved in it too and it's just consequences of your deal. But you don't see it that way. What you and Jungkook did is solely your decision, a decision you both agreed on and you don't regret it. Yes, maybe it did make Haneul's reaction worse but it's not Jungkook's fault.

"No," you say, "No, Kook, it's not because of our deal. It might've started with that but he was already suspicious of our friendship. He told me he was jealous and insecure. There were many reasons why I've decided to end it with him. The main reason is when he disrespected me, slut-shamed me,"

Jungkook mimics your face of anger as his brows automatically furrow into a deep scowl once you mention that.

"He'd react the same way, whether he knew about us from me or someone else. And then he basically made me choose between you and him. He wanted me to keep my distance from you."

"He did what?"

Okay, now he's mad.

"Yeah," you tell unsurely, looking at Jungkook who seems to have a puzzled look mixed with anger. "I called him crazy and basically told him to fuck off." you grin, Jungkook snorting at you.

"That's my girl," He brings you closer to him, cuddling you to himself as he squeezes you tightly causing you to groan. "My best friend kind of girl." he justifies when you poke him in his stomach and pull away.

"Yeah, yeah." you murmur as you wave your hand.

"Anyway, what are we watching?" Jungkook asks, eyes glancing at the television as you stare at him with a surprise.

Does he want to stay over? You don't mind it, you could use a company and not so surprisingly, Jungkook lifted up your mood. Yes, you were crying just a few minutes ago but him being here has helped you so much. At the same time, you don't want to hold him here just because you're going through a break-up. Today is the day he came home, he probably wasn't even able to unpack all of his stuff. It sounded as if he came straight here once he called you.

Jungkook notices your surprise and the underlying guilt on your face as you stare at him with a slightly opened mouth.

"What? Already wanting to get rid of me?"

You know he's just teasing you, silently telling you that he's fine with staying over and not leaving you alone. You don't want to spend the time pursuing him, that this is not something he has to do for your sake, his presence does feel good and you don't want him to leave. So, you're going to be a little selfish about this and not say anything about that.

"You know it's not like that..."

"Great, then do we watch this or something else?"

He dismisses you quickly, reaching for the TV controller as he gives you a grin before he makes himself comfortable next to you. Chuckling, you join him, silently pleading Jungkook to rub your back. He does roll his eyes at your request and mumbles something under his breath, but his hand still reaches for your back while you pleasantly hum.

Even though the actual holidays haven't even lasted that long, you find it slightly weird to come back to your usual life and routine that consists of adult and unnecessary things. Maybe it's because so many things have changed, things that were so different at the beginning of the holidays and now that it's ended, you're coming back to your usual life. But this time, things have changed.

Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin made it their mission to keep you occupied when they had the time, making sure you won't shed any more tears for Haneul and things that have happened between you two. Luckily, there were no tears and if it weren't for the period you got the day after you cried on Jungkook's shoulder, you're not even sure if you'd cry for Haneul at all.

Of course, it hurts you what happened even now when you think about it, and you know it won't go away with a snap of fingers. But you genuinely think it's more from disappointment and your expectation of your relationship with him. Therefore, there are no tears but still a slightly pained feeling in your chest when you think about him.

He hasn't contacted you ever since you walked out of his apartment, which you consider as a better way for you to cope with everything. You're not going to lie, you're actually glad he hasn't tried to fix things. Both of you know it's pointless and this way, you're saved from any other uncomfortable confrontation.

Deep in your thoughts and back to having your morning coffee in a break room before the real work starts, knowing you need that extra caffeine to get through the day, you almost spill it when someone bumps into you from your side.

"Oh, sorry," An automatic apology spills out of your mouth, fully realizing you've been blocking the coffee machine for a few minutes now while being in your own world.

As you look up before you make sure none of the coffee is spilled on your white blouse, you're immediately met with sharp eyes that glare at you.

"Oh, it's you." you let out, your tone dropping as he reaches for a clean cup and starts working on the machine until coffee starts slowly pouring into his cup. Watching him, you take in his appearance and weirdly enough, the scene before you is familiar and it's like nothing has changed.

Maybe it's one of his typical attire for work, black slacks and a casual shirt, but looking at him it doesn't feel like this is the first day after winter holidays.

He turns to you while his cup is still getting filled, lips curved in a tiny smirk.

"Missed me?"

"Not at all." you scoff, scrunching your nose right away as he stares at you amusingly.

You don't think you've ever met someone as annoying as Yoongi is. He really has a special talent for making you annoyed in a second, he doesn't even have to open his mouth. Just one look at his constant and typical smirk, smirk that basically laughs in your face, and you're ready to turn into Hulk. And you're very much aware that's what amuses him and makes him so cocky, knowing he annoys you this much and gets this kind of reaction from you, you just can't help it.

"Bitchy like always." he hums, not surprised by your earlier scoff and reaction.

"Asshole like always." Just like he has expected, you react in a heartbeat, not missing a chance to attack back.

The coffee machine turns off, letting him know his coffee is ready and he takes it, taking a cautious and tiny sip as he pleasantly hums before he stands next to you, leaning against the counter.

"How were the holidays?"

He doesn't even look at you as he asks it, looking ahead of him and at a few of co-workers which makes him miss the way your brows frown in a confusion. That's a huge change from calling you bitchy to asking you about your holidays, you think as you stare at him.

"Good, yours?" you ask shortly, not really minding this casual talk even though you're not sure if he really cares about your answer anyway. Usually everything he says has some ulterior motive.

"Good," Yoongi shrugs, taking a sip from his coffee again. "I spent it at home, safely away from everyone."

Your brows shoot up and the new information before a little snort leaves your mouth. "You spent it alone?"

He glances at you, sharp eyes glancing at you in confusion. "What's the look for? What's wrong with spending it alone?" he asks simply, although you catch onto his slightly defensive tone which makes you shrug.

"Nothing, it just sounds... lonely." you tell him, searching Yoongi's face for any kind of reaction but all he does is just grin amusingly.

"Chill out, I still had to spend Christmas with my parents," Somehow, he doesn't sound so pleased by that and you hold back your laugh when you see his unimpressed face at the mention of Christmas.

Yoongi isn't exactly the sharing type, that much you can tell even if you don't know that much about him. He doesn't talk about his personal life that much, even though you probably know the most about him out of everyone in this company working with you and him. He doesn't interact with others unless it's not something important and work related, or if it's not him having a great opportunity to annoy someone. And unfortunately, that someone is usually you.

Although, you'd lie if you didn't say you witnessed him having sarcastic comments aimed at someone that isn't you. It's usually what everyone thinks but it's kind of impolite to say out loud – well, not for Yoongi. You're still surprised why he hasn't been fired yet.

"How did you spend the holidays then?"

He doesn't sound interested but once it takes you a moment to answer, he raises his brow at you expectantly before you sigh and open your mouth. So, you tell him you spent Christmas back at home with your parents, purposely emphasizing the sweet tone when you talk about them which makes him roll his eyes. You fight the urge to burst out laughing at the face he makes. He knows you've done it purposely and you're glad you're annoying him just as he annoys you. You don't tell him any details, simply saying you spent New Year's Eve at a friend's cabin with your friends.

Thinking you've done a great job at being casual while talking about the trip that has changed so many things for you, you're easily mistaken because Yoongi glances at you and has this weird look on his face. He has caught onto something, you realize as you mentally curse.

"You don't look too pleased though." he comments, suspiciously narrowing his eyes at you.

"No, it was great." You try to assure him, even giving him a smile which you realize you're screwed the moment you see his raised brow.

"Uhm, and you're lying," he waves his hand carelessly, "So, spill it out. What happened?"

You and Yoongi are far from being friends, he's nothing like Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung. So you wonder... are you really like an open book? To be fair, you haven't been totally hiding your emotions even though your mouth and words have said something else. Yoongi is great at observing and he barely misses anything, so it shouldn't surprise you that he called you out on you, lying.

"Why should I tell you?" You don't beat around the bush, not seeing the point of trying to deny it.

"Hm, true but this day is already too boring, so be good and entertain me." he tells you casually, making your mouth open in disbelief as you scoff at him.

"I'm not here for your entertainment, Min." you remind him, sounding offended that he's just using you for his own entertainment. Obviously, you know he doesn't really care but at the same time, funnily enough, there have been times when the two of you had a civil conversation without dissing or annoying one another.

Still, you get slightly frustrated by him wanting you to entertain him.

"You're so boring, fine don't talk to me." he mutters, taking a sip from his coffee before he's about to turn around but you don't leave it just there. As usual.

"And you're annoying, but what's new?" you bite back, not hiding the rising anger in your voice. "Plus, I don't need you to laugh at me."

"Why would I laugh at you?" he asks, sounding confused as he stops in his tracks.

Raising your brow at him, you purse your lips. Is he seriously asking that? Him that takes every opportunity to laugh at you?

"Because you're evil, spiteful, annoying?"

He stares at you for a moment before he cracks a grin that turns into an overly sweet smile that can be recognized as fake from miles away. "That's very generous of you, thank you!"

He just proved your point. You roll your eyes at him. "See? You're annoying."

He shrugs, not even denying it but then he stares at you for a moment and you take that moment to take a sip from your own, almost, cold coffee.

"I know you think I'm a dick," You hum which makes it be his turn to roll his eyes at you before he continues, "But I wouldn't laugh about something that makes you look this terrible."

"Excuse me? Terrible? I've spent half an hour doing this make-up!" you exclaim, glaring at him and his straight-forwardness yet again. Do you really look terrible?

You don't feel exactly happy, more empty and maybe just a bit overwhelmed from what happened, but you've actually worked on yourself and your mindset, thanks to your friends who have been there for you. After all, you don't regret your decision to put your relationship with Haneul to an end.

"I didn't mean it like that." he mutters simply, not saying anything else and you know you probably won't get any details from him.

It's not a big deal, Y/N... you think as you let out a sigh. "Fine, me and my boyfriend, well ex now, broke up. And my New Year's trip was ruined, and oh, Jungkook's girlfriend was involved in that too."

Spilling the news and details to Yoongi doesn't feel burdening, you're slightly shocked how easy it came out.

"You had a boyfriend?" he asks confusingly, remembering how you were whining about the lack of sex in your life just a month ago or whenever you gave him a handjob in his brother's office. He obviously doesn't keep up with your life, but the news of you having a boyfriend is slightly surprising.

"Yeah, for like a month." you scoff at yourself and your failed relationship.

When Yoongi actually snorts at your answer, you make sure you give him a glare for laughing about the short period of your relationship.

"Damn, poor boy gave up?"

"No," you spit, "He actually slut-shamed me in front of everyone before the actual New Year's Eve and then left without talking to me."

If Yoongi seemed surprised to you before, he definitely is shocked now and ignores the bitter tone and glare you aim at him for automatically assuming the other person has to be the poor little guy. You're actually sick of him belittling you and thinking everyone around you poor them.

He clears his throat rather awkwardly, setting his cup of coffee behind him on a counter before he scratches the back of his head. "He did what? Why would he do that?"

Sighing, you put your cup next to his, not even sure if you're in a need for coffee anymore. "He found out about me and Jungkook, from Jungkook's girlfriend."

"Oh," He lets out, which makes you nod. There's a beat of silence for a moment and you're not completely aware of the way your features drop in sadness as you stare at your feet, however Yoongi is there to notice and witness it all. "That doesn't give him the right to do that though."

You look at Yoongi, offering him a slight nod, silently agreeing with him. Yoongi isn't great at comforting other people, the hell, he's not even trying to be. It just makes him feel awkward for some reason but it's very rare to see you vulnerable. You always appear as someone who always stands up for themselves, strong and stubborn to him. The last time you had a proper talk, there was alcohol involved which naturally made it easier to talk to you.

But now, there's no alcohol and you're just a few minutes away from having to go to work. He doesn't know any more details of what really went down that day but from the looks of it, it wasn't pleasant and it obviously affects you to some extent. Yoongi isn't the one asking for details, not when he sees you visibly upset and hurt. He often crosses the line but when it comes down to something serious, he rather shuts up.

"Well," he starts, clearing his throat as he awkwardly shifts his eyes from you to the window behind you. "He's an idiot for doing that..."

It's not like you don't know that, but hearing Yoongi say it and not having a sarcastic remark makes you appreciate it. You let out a slight chuckle which catches his attention and you almost burst out laughing when you give him an appreciative smile and he almost panics, suddenly feeling uncomfortable from the awfully touching moment.

"Thanks?"

"Yeah, whatever," he murmurs, reaching for his cup. "See you later, loser."

And he's already out of the door before you can cuss him out.

"Alright, I'm heading out guys." Jungkook announces, tucking his phone back to the pocket of his jeans after he checked the time.

He catches everyone's attention, using the rare silence to inform everyone about him leaving. He has spent the last twenty minutes listening to Seokjin's and Hoseok's quarrel about a soccer game that's been playing on the television. They all had to listen to it and once Jungkook checked the time to see that it's time for him to go, he definitely had to use that silence.

"Where are you going?" Hoseok asks, slouched on his couch while Seokjin snorts beside him, reaching for the salted sticks to munch on them.

"To pick up Y/N," he answers for Jungkook. "Do you even listen sometimes?"

And there you go again, the two of them start to bicker all over again until Jimin stops it, shutting them up before he asks Hoseok for some more soda. Jungkook knows Jimin is perfectly capable of getting that alone, knowing exactly where Hoseok stocks his drinks and actually has said to everyone to make themselves feel at home.

He catches onto Jimin's doing, rolling his eyes at the younger but he still stands up, looking equally annoyed at Seokjin. Disappearing into the kitchen, Jungkook looks at Jimin who just shrugs with a grin while Taehyung is trying to hold back his laugh.

Idiots, Jungkook thinks but doesn't hide his own amused grin. It's funny how he's the youngest but his hyungs are often found bickering about the most stupid and random stuff. It actually reminds him of the evening he spent at your place, along with Taehyung and Jimin. That time when the three of them made sure you're not left alone and simply just wanted to spend some time with you, just four days after your break-up with Haneul.

"Excuse me!" The shriek that leaves your mouth makes Jungkook flinch, not expecting you to burst all of a sudden but then, he should've expected it when Taehyung started to question the real pain behind woman period.

He's not even sure how you got into that topic. Oh yeah, you complained how awful you've been feeling because of it, admitting that you were more emotional that night when Jungkook came to see you. Everyone laughed at that, until Taehyung had to open his big mouth again and started comparing period pain to--

"Have you ever been kicked to the balls? That pain is unbearable!"

You shoot up from your laid position, sitting upright which makes Jungkook flinch again and he holds you back, staring at you with wide eyes while you glare the hell out of Taehyung. He looks absolutely unbothered, slouched on the other end of the couch, plopping more popcorn into his mouth while you look on the verge of going crazy.

"Come on guys..." Jungkook tries, chuckling a little bit to ease the mood but you completely ignore him.

"Oh, go to hell with your balls!"

Jimin snorts, causing Jungkook to look at him in disbelief as he just shrugs while chugging more beer.

"You know what we women go through while getting our period? It's not just stomach pain, our lower backs hurt too, sometimes we have a urge to vomit and sometimes we do. Oh, our head spins and we feel like we're gonna faint, some women even do! And oh, we get all hot feeling like our insides are burning, we sweat a lot and then in a second we start shivering from cold! There are so many different symptoms too! Can you imagine that?"

You're breathing heavily by the time you're finished, pointing an accusatory finger at Taehyung.

"Okay, but we men definitely know what I'm talking about. Right? Guys, back me up a little," Taehyung glances between Jungkook and Taehyung as Jungkook opens his mouth, earning a stern glare from you as you cock your brow at him.

Jimin silently admits that yes, kick to the balls hurt as fuck but other than that, he doesn't say too much. "See?" Taehyung adds cockily.

"Why do I even bother talking about this to men?" you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest as Jungkook gasps.

"Uh, I didn't even say anything." Jungkook mutters and again, he's completely ignored by you.

"We literally feel period cramps for hours if not longer! You know what? I'll kick your balls repeatedly, so--"

"Alright, alright, time-out." Jungkook interrupts you when you start rising from your spot as you glare at Taehyung who dramatically gasps and covers his crotch with the bowl full of popcorn.

"You're psycho!" Taehyung shrieks at you.

"Hey!" Jungkook frowns, scolding him which makes Taehyung shut his mouth as you stick out your tongue at him behind Jungkook's shoulder.

Today has been your first day working at a club again after holidays and after a few conversations about the trouble your car is giving you (and Jungkook's own persistence), you both agreed on Jungkook picking you up tonight.

He bids goodbye to the guys, making his way to Hoseok's kitchen knowing Kiko is there preparing more snacks for everyone, so he can bid goodbye to her too. She went there a couple of minutes ago, just in time to miss bickering between Hoseok and Jimin, which she unmistakably must've heard anyway.

Jungkook pats the pockets on the back of his jeans to check if his phone and wallet are still there as he hears distant voices that have to belong to Hoseok and Kiko. He can hear Kiko's soft and hushed voice, already confirming his thoughts that she's still in the kitchen making snacks while Hoseok went to grab a soda for Jimin. Just as he's about to walk in, informing them about his presence he hears Hoseok's hushed but stern voice.

"This is not gonna end up good, Kik and you know it."

Jungkook stops in his tracks immediately, just behind the corner so they can't see him as something comes over him and tells him to stop from walking there. He's been friends with Hoseok for years and enough to recognize the rare distress in his voice. He's usually cheerful and even though there are moments when he can be the most serious amongst everyone, there's just something off behind his tone.

"Hobi, please," He hears Kiko murmur in a silent plea. "Don't make this any harder."

"You've made this harder for yourself Kik and you know it," Jungkook can perfectly hear a slight disappointment and sadness in Hoseok's voice. "This is hard for me too. Jungkook is my friend too."

Jungkook feels himself swallow harshly after that, not being able to detect all the emotions behind Hoseok's tone but one thing is sure, he sounds kind of sad and guilty.

"I'm sorry..."

"No, Kik," Hoseok murmurs, shaking his head at her – something Jungkook can't see behind the corner as he remains glued to his spot not being able to move. "I'm your friend, I told you I've got your back. I don't mean to sound as if I'm blaming you... but think about Jungkook. You've to tell him, you should've told him sooner."

"No," Kiko reacts immediately, sounding almost afraid. "No, he doesn't wanna know,"

Hoseok raises his brow, ready to open his mouth to disagree but she panics and grabs his wrists to make him look at her.

"Our relationship is good, Hobi, I can't risk ruining it any further. I'm aware everything is my fault and there is not a day I don't think about it, but I love him. I love him so much and now I finally got him back. Please."

She sounds weak, hurt and sad, settling an uncomfortable feeling in Jungkook's chest. One part of him is desperate to go there and check on her, hearing her voice quivering slightly which indicates she's close to crying. However the other part, the rational part, reminds him of what he's hearing and his feelings have to go away for a second.

"This has gone too far, Jungkook might be okay with it because he loves you... but he deserves to know. It's hard for me too, but I'm not sure how long I can take it." Hoseok sounds determined, even though he keeps his voice kind of gentle. Or maybe it's his whispered tone, not knowing Jungkook is hearing all of this and is standing just behind the corner with uncertain feelings and a huge lump in his throat.

He's not even sure what he should be thinking, it's hard to process anything at the moment and all he can focus on is listening to his friend and girlfriend talking about him. About his and Kiko's relationship while Hoseok is determined to make Kiko tell him everything. Although Jungkook doesn't want to know any details, he's starting questioning everything and wondering if Hoseok is much more involved in this than he thought.

"Hobi!" Kiko exclaims, almost crying out as Hoseok shakes his head disapprovingly yet staring at the distressed woman with a sorrowful look.

"If you don't tell him, I will." And there's a beat of silence following after, Jungkook's heart beating in his ears as he can't seem to react in any way.

Meanwhile Kiko is staring wide-eyed at her best friend, gasping in disbelief as he stares at her with a pitiful look. "You wouldn't do that..." she whispers, voice shaky as he looks away for a second, not bearing to see her teary eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kik. I know I promised you, but this has gone too far. Jungkook is gonna hate both of us, but it's better than him not knowing the whole truth while you're torturing yourself every day. You might think you're happy but deep down, it's always gonna live inside you. And the truth always comes out, the sooner it'll it's better. For everyone."

That's it. Jungkook can't take it and before he can properly think it through, he's already coming out of the shadows and the corner, making himself visible. His presence is known right away, their heads snapping to Jungkook's figure as he stares with empty look at both of them while a loud gasp leaves Kiko's mouth.

Just by looking at his face, seeing nothing but emptiness that slowly turns into anger and hurt, she knows he heard. He heard everything.

Hoseok looks just as surprised to see Jungkook as Kiko does, although he looks much more collected than her. Tears start to stream down her cheeks as she quickly straightens herself and walks around the kitchen island, trying to get to Jungkook. However, she's coming to a halt when Jungkook motions for her to stop with his outstretched arm.

"I can explain," Is what comes out of her mouth, voice breathy and quickened. "W-we were just talking and--"

"I don't wanna hear anything right now." he cuts her off, shaking his head.

"I'll give you guys some space..." Hoseok mutters, sending Jungkook an apologetic look which the younger notices but doesn't react to because his eyes are back on his girlfriend.

"Jung--"

"I said I don't wanna hear anything right now," he mutters sternly, "I gotta go right now but I wanna know everything. No more secrets."

"Jungkook," she gasps again, taking a few steps towards him but she stops when he glares at her and takes a step back.

"No, whatever Hoseok wants you to tell me, you will. Tomorrow."

And with that, he turns around and quickly walks out of the room, still hearing the quiet sob that leaves her mouth as he rushes through the living room, ignoring everyone's curious eyes and the way they all shut up once they notice Jungkook's state.

Hoseok is avoiding Jimin's eyes, grabbing a beer as he takes a large gulp of it but before Jimin can stand up and check on Jungkook, he already hears the front door closing with a loud thud. Once Kiko joins them after a few minutes, bringing the snacks, he notices her red eyes before she mutters a quick excuse of having to get home.

The rest of the night is not fun anymore, the weird tension lingering in the entire Hoseok's apartment even after Kiko and Jungkook left.

#jungkook x reader #bts angst #bts fluff #bts smut #bts au #jungkook smut #jungkook x you #jungkook fake dating #mutual help #personasintro

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bluewhitehues · 1 month

Text

I hate you not ♡

Choi Seungchol × f. reader

|Arranged marriage/ forced marriage |

Genre: Angst,fluff,sort of enemies to lovers.

Summary:Married against their will, seungcheol and y/n end up hating each other.

Part 1 | Part 2

Masterlist

After your shower, you wear your sweatshirt and shorts and go out towards the dining table where he's waiting for you. He was standing there leaning back on the counter. He comes forward when he sees you,giving you a little smile. He comes forward to pull the chair for you..you stop in your track looking at his smile cause this is the first time he's smiling at you.

"You're scaring me seungcheol." You say with eyes wide and round.

"Huh? Why? Because I pulled the chair for you?" He asks raising his eyebrows.

"That too but because you just smiled" you say looking & blinking up at him, eyes still round in surprise.

He narrows his eyes at you,"You are not gonna stop teasing me, are you?" He asks you notice his ears turning Red.

"I was dead serious, i got chills. You've never smiled at me ,last time I saw you smile was at the wedding,when you were forcefully smiling at the guests" You say finally sitting down.

He moves to arrange the dishes infront of you serving you, "Well yeah ..but I'm a human, I do smile ...I don't mean to scare you but you'll see it more often from now on " He says smiling again.

"Did you add anything in the food ?" You're half teasing him now but you're also half serious. You watch his eyes go comically wide "Oh my god, nooo ..why would you-" He shakes his head ,grabbing the chopsticks taking the food from each bowls and tasting it "see-" "nothings in there you can eat it." He says sitting down on his chair infront of you. You're trying to stifle your smile "okay okay sorry"

Well technically it isn't your fault. It's a very reasonable doubt. First he smiled at you, now he's giving you food to eat.

The idea of him being nice to you was too far fetched but him wanting to get rid of you, may be murder you, seems kind of right. Because let's be honest, he has always looked like he has a stick up his ass and whenever he talked it was venom. So your doubt is kind of reasonable.

There's spaghetti, spicy noodles, rice and chicken.

"What food do you like? "He asks you, trying to be casual "I wasn't sure so I just- got this" He says gesturing towards the food.

"This is fine I like rice in my meals , I like chicken too, seafood too, what about you ?" You ask back, glancing at him while eating the spaghetti.

"I like pretty much everything I love food..meat, rice, ramyeon everything.."

He says chewing on his food.

He initiates most of the conversations, it was quite awkward because you were not used to this.

"I always wanted to ask this but..did you have any girlfriend when our marriage was fixed? " You ask wiping your mouth with the napkin, looking at him for the answer.

"No I didn't..though I did think about bringing a fake one so I could break our marriage.."his lips twitch .."but I knew it wouldn't work, my father knows too much about me." He says shaking his head to the side.

"Ohh..I thought you had one that's why you hated me so much."

"Again I don't hate you..I never did,it's just I, i was angry i still am but I've got it now you shouldn't be the one on the receiving end of it ..i wasn't in the right mindset since our marriage was decided. You would know, you didn't like me too you were angry just as much, we almost didn't talk in the first month of our marriage..we avoided each other like plague" He chuckles.

"Well yeah I was in bad state too..it took so much for me to actually build some courage or even hope to actually talk to you , I didn't think you'd react so badly" You chuckle.."I just thought I'm trying so you'd open up to me too. But you were an asshole about it." You shrug.

"Okay say that as many times as you want until you feel better." He says in all seriousness nodding at you

"Daily..for two months atleast..i think I'll feel so much better" You say nodding back at him.

He closes his eyes with a sigh and opens them again "okay you can totally do that. I'm ok with it"

"Great then! Good night." You say getting up from the chair.

"Uhm ya good night ..sleep well." He says awkwardly smiling at you.

It's been a month since seungcheol is being nice to you. You're not as doubtful of him now. You've seen him, observed him enough to know that may be he really has changed, he really is showing his real side to you now, he has started to open up to you and he is making you feel comfortable around him now. You eat breakfast and dinner together these days ..sometimes he even texts you to ask if he could come and pick you up from the work. You wouldn't say you became friends totally but you're getting there with baby steps.

That weird look you saw in his eyes is still there when he smiles at you awfully softly when you say something funny or when you talk in general. You haven't been able to figure out what it is but you will confront him about it. The butterflies you feel whenever he gives you that smile are another topic you haven't been able to understand..don't you despise him? Why does he have those stupidly attractive and adorable dimples? why would you like his smile? You're weird seriously.

It's his brother's anniversary party today and you are supposed to go together. As a couple.

"Y/n" He knocks at your door "Are you ready?"

"Yeah coming just 2 minutes!!" You shout from inside.

When you come out and he sees you, his breath gets stuck..heart skips a beat or two and he's just standing there looking at you. You were fixing your hair, when you look up at him, he's just standing there like a statue his ears are somewhat red. And you would be lying if you say you didn't blush looking at him standing there all handsome and just staring at you. You never denied it, you know you've got a fine as hell husband.

"Let's go?" You ask him taking him out of his trance.

"Uh? Yes let's go." He says smiling you walk behind him towards the door when he turns around and says "You look good."

"Thank you, you're looking good yourself." You say While avoiding his eyes, hoping he wouldn't notice your natural blush along with the make up.

"Thank you." He says smiling.

You're wearing a sparkly glitter off shoulder gown with a slit on the one side of thigh. Hair long and deep berry coloured lips. Seungcheol is wearing a white button down with black pants.

He opens the car door for you and closes it after you sit.

Few minutes pass,you are on your way. Seungcheol is sitting beside you,you're in his fancy car, and Ofcourse he has his own chauffeur.

Seungcheol sighs glancing at you"I didn't want to go. My parents will be there." He says with a frown.

"It's ok we can come back early may be" you say giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yeah" He nods.

"Also stick closer to me even if you don't want it. So many people will be there, the photos might even get out in the press. I already don't like this." You blow out a breath shaking your head.

"Who said I don't want to stick closer to you ?" He asks raising his eyebrows at you.

"You do?" You ask.

"Aren't you my friend? I'd rather stay with you than have to talk with them." He shrugs.

"When did I agree to be your friend? I clearly remember me saying I'll think about it."

"I- ok then." He says nodding and looking out of the window. He's clearly sulking. His hands crossed over his chest, a pout on his face.

You let out a surprised chuckle,"Wait are you really sulking right now?" You ask trying to look at him.

He huffs,"No I'm not."

"Yeah? Say that while looking at me" You poke his shoulder with your index finger and he shrugs it off. He's still looking out of the window.

"Ok ok I was kidding. We are friends, you've proved it by now." You say smiling and he turns to you.

He narrows his eyes at you,"Thank you. You're so mean."

You raise your eyebrows at him"More than you?"

"No" He says in a small voice "but it was in past. I haven't been mean to you since the last month,have I?"

"No you haven't and I hope you continue that cheol."

His head snaps towards you at the speed of light, "cheol? Wait did you call me cheol?" He asks eyes big and a happy smile on his face.

You get flustered for a second, you didn't realise you said that ..so you say "decide one thing do you or do you not want me to be your friend? Friends call each other by nicknames"

"No no I want you to call me that ,you just took me by surprise." He quickly explains.

You get out of the car and he holds out his hand for you. You look up at him,he smiles softly at you. You fight off the blooming blush on your cheeks and take his hand. He holds you so gently. His hand is so warm,it makes you adjust your hand properly in his and hold it by your fingers. He smiles at you again. Helps you on the stairs.

You go inside the venue and notice there really are so many people.

"Let's just go and wish hyung and his wife first then we can go early." He says in your ear. You nod at him, the blush won't leave your face.

"Hey hyung -Noona Happy Anniversary to you both." Seungcheol says smiling at them and hugging his brother. His brother gets so happy seeing seungcheol, that too he brought you with him. You also wish them.Seungcheol nudges you to hold the gift he has been holding in his hand,so you both could give it to them.

He again holds your hand. Guiding you towards an area where you could sit. Just then his old friends call him, they talk to him..you whisper in his ear,"I'll go sit there or else my heels would kill me" You say pointing at the drink and snacks counter where surpringly are very few people. "Ok stay there I'll be there in 5 minutes" He says nodding. stroking your hand with his thumb before letting it go. You go and sit there and order a mocktail. Cheol wants to go to you, he keeps glancing at you but his friends won't stop talking. Just when he was glancing at you he notices a man standing few feets away from you staring at you, cheol follows his eyes going to your exposed leg and instantly feels his blood boil. He clenched his jaw, excusing himself from his friends. He goes straight to you blocking you from the man's view. Putting one of his hand on the counter and the other behind you on your chair,he's standing so close to you.

"Sorry I took so long didn't I? They won't stop talking" He says looking down at you.

You knew it was him,you smelled his cologne as soon as he was behind you. So you don't get startled. You look up at him when he talks to you. You notice him standing so close to you and raise your eyebrows at him. "Well it's ok"

He ignores your silent question and keeps looking at you, "what are you drinking?" He asks.

"Oh ..just a mocktail, I'm lightweight I can't handle alcohol" You give him a toothy grin looking up at him. And god he finds you adorably adorableeee. How can you be so fine and cute at the same time. He has this urge to pinch your cheeks, so he does,very lightly. Chuckling showing his own teeth on full display. Looking at you with that weird look again. "That's ok, I know a few more you'd like ..wait." Then he shifts his attention from you to the bartender, telling him a few names.

As much as you liked him standing next to you, "Aren't you going to sit down?" You ask him tilting your head.

"Oh yeah" He says pulling a chair close towards you and sits down.

You enjoy the drinks he ordered for you complementing him that it really is good. He smiles at you that stupidly attractive dimple smile.

"You want to get out of here?" He speaks in your ear so you could hear him over the music.

"Home?" You ask him with furrowed eyebrows. He shakes his head smiling at you "you'll know let's go" He says getting up. You get up and nearly trip. He instantly grips you by your elbow. "Hey careful.. you ok?" He asks worried. You notice the hook of your heel is undone,he follows your gaze and instantly gets on his knees to fix it for you. Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. And the butterflies? They are tickling your tummy so bad and may be they are sitting on your cheeks too.

You didnt expect him to do that "Cheol you don't need to-" he cuts you off,getting up.

"It's ok, let's go" He smiles taking your hand in his again. God you're blushing and you notice a few people looking at you two.

Seungcheol sees his parents approaching and speeds up instantly. You sigh when you're out in the open air. "Till when you're not going to talk to them. Your mom looked so sad, you should atleast talk to her."

"I don't know y/n ..They need to understand I'm not a robot who's supposed to follow their orders. I've feelings too."

"Sorry I didn't mean to upset you"

"You didn't"

He takes you to a place where it's so peaceful, you can hear the crickets chirping, you hear the water flowing and the best part is the night sky filled with infinite stars. "Woah" you look up in awe. swirling yourself to capture the whole sky in your eyes.

"You like it?"

"Like? Cheol I love it" You say laughing and he thinks the stars you're holding in your eyes right now are even more precious and beautiful than the actual ones.

"I'm glad you love it".. "You're about to love it even more." He says giving you a mischievous smile.

You look at him confused your brows furrowed. He goes to the car taking a white bag from it and bringing it to you.

"When did you even get this?" You look at him eyes wide when he takes out the yummiest looking fried chicken and burgers. "I told hanbin to buy it" He says gesturing towards the car where the said chauffeur hanbin is.

You eat it while sitting on the bench.

You giggle looking at him "what?" He asks cheeks filled with the burger he's eating.

"You look like a four year old baby eating. Look you've got sauce and crumbs all over your lips." You say still giggling.

"Just say I look cute and go." He says narrowing his eyes at you. And he really does look so cute you almost coo.

"And you're no one to talk you've got sauce on your lips too" He says grabbing a tissue and wiping it gently on the side of your lips. You pause eating. Why's he doing this to you?? first he held your hands, then he fixed your heels, he brought you at such a beautiful place and now this. And how can you forget he brought his jacket from the car because he noticed you getting cold, the butterflies, the heartbeats everything has been a mess for you. And him? He seems so casual about it like it's the most normal thing to do, making you feel like you're only overthinking.

You reach home, and your thoughts won't let you be in peace so you hold his sleeves from behind stopping him. He turns towards you,"hmm?" His thoughts were filled with you too, thinking how you'd now go in your room and he can't be close to you, how tomorrow is too long to see you again.

You can't pull him towards you so you step towards him, tightening your hold on his sleeves. "I've questions for you." You say looking him in the eye. And his eyes go a little wide but he's quick to mask it. "Okay..go ahead."

"Why do you look at me like that?"

"Huh?"

"You have been looking at me like that alot these days..are you hiding something from me? " You ask him further.

In one swift motion he removes your hand from his sleeves and envelops it in his own.

"Do you still not trust me?"

"I'm not saying that, I'm asking why are you looking at me like that ..the way look at me it changed..you have been acting so weird since last month and i didnt actually buy it completely when you said you started acting nice to me because i didnt eat dinner and breakfast ..i mean come on that doesnt make that much sense ..look at you holding my hand right now, and do you want me to say every little thing you did today?"

"Will you say anything or am I just crazy?"

You notice his cheeks turning Red.

"You're gonna make me say it, Aren't you?" He whispers.

"Make you say what?" Your own voice not above a whisper as he's looking at you like that

He steps closer to you, hand still holding yours. "Promise me you won't get angry at me or won't forget this past month we spent together?." He says worrying his lower lip between his teeth.

You have not seen him this nervous before."Depends on what you're going to say cheol ..but ok I'll try..what is it" You ask tilting your head at him, for some reason you're nervous too. You liked this past month so much,you don't want to ruin your progress.

"I-" He takes a long breath with closed eyes and then again matches your gaze. "What if I told you I actually like you?"

Your heart starts speeding at his words, "That's something I never thought would be an option ..but do you?" You ask tentatively, your eyebrows furrowed.

"I do" He says tightening his hold on your hand. "I like you y/n."

You keep looking up at him, opening and closing your mouth again not knowing what to say, your brain is covered by fog suddenly.

"Please say something..I'm kind of dying here" He says holding your hand as if you'll go away from him any second.

"Since when?" You ask

"From last two months, since I admitted it to myself. But i think i started to like you even before that,unknowingly. " He tells you, his eyes vulnerable.

" Are you right now saying that was you liking me? Really? I don't understand two months back you were far from liking me" You look at him confused.

His cheeks get warmer again with the embarrassment,"I know I'm sorry that was me being an idiot you know me by now..i- I purposely tried to push you away because I didn't want to give my parents the satisfaction that I did end up liking the girl they chose for me against my will." He says squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment.

"Huh" You huff in disbelief.."Are you saying you made me suffer, let me think of myself as a fool , just because you were in denial and you didn't want to like me?? You idiottt" You say trying to free your hand from his hold and hitting his chest with the other one. "You idiot of a man you idiot" You say hitting him again and again.

"I know..I know I'm sorry ..I'm sorry,just one last time I swear I won't give you any reason to complain again, just one last time ..I'm not an idiot anymore I swear, I'd rather hurt myself than hurt you again ." He doesn't leave your hand(you stop trying after few attempts) and let's you hit him as much as you want, until you stop and your hand drops by your side.

You look up at him with your own vulnerable eyes, they're glossy and seungcheol curses himself all over again.

Your eyes going from his one eye to another and then you're lurching forward to hug him.. You bury yourself in his neck/shoulder, hands looping around his waist, clutching his shirt in a tight hold. You close your eyes, trying to calm yourself and just dissolve in his arms. On the other hand he thinks his heart stopped beating for a second when you hugged him because he didn't expect that, he thought you'll be mad at him again. But soon he holds you to himself again pulling you closer. Burying his face in your hair, taking a deep breath,finally letting out a sigh. He feels like he'll cry any second. He has never felt such intense emotions for anyone before. You do something to him which he can't quite explain. "I'm sorry." He says in a quite whisper,as if it'll break your bubble if he even let's out a loud breath.

You notice the crack in his voice and say,"shut up ..I hate you." Your own voice a whisper too as you breath in his scent,clutching the fiber of his shirt even more tightly.

"Mhm It's ok..I'll take that too" He says smiling to himself. Pressing his lips on your hair,kissing there a few times.

It's like both of you don't want let each other go because you just keep standing there hugging each other.

You think it's been 10 minutes.

"I like this but my feet are starting to hurt." You mumble in his shoulder. He opens his eyes to look down at you, you pull back to look at him too.

"Oh ..you're still wearing your heels." He says looking down, you both are blushing, your cheeks tell it all.

"Sit here" He says, guiding you to the couch with your hand.

He gets down on his knees for the second time today. Carefully taking your leg on his knee and undoing the hooks of your heels one by one..his soft light touch sends goosebumps on your skin. "Oh..you're whipped for me ..Mr. Choi, who would've thought" You say with a teasing smile. Inside you're a blushing mess but you won't leave a chance to tease him.

"And if I am?" He says raising one of his eyebrow and he's smirking Ofcourse. Oh you're gone..cause there is no reason to find this so hot as you're finding it right now. And that brat doesn't stop at that, he squeezes your ankle in his hand pulling it towards himself. You shiver at his touch, and try to fight off the blush on your cheeks but fail so badly, so you just look away from him, avoiding his eyes. He smirks even more then let's out a chuckle.

He removes the other heel too. "You won't answer me?" He asks Standing up. "No" You reply. He chuckles again saying "ok tomato." "Wha-?What kind of a nickname is that?" You say looking up at him with a huff. "Because you look like one right now" He says poking your cheek with his index finger. Dimples blooming fully on his cheeks. "Yeah? Should've looked at yourself a few minutes ago" You say huffing, standing up. Brushing past him,he instantly catches your hand, "let me walk you to your room you're limping ..are you sure you're ok? Does it hurt bad?" He asks looking down at you worriedly. "It's ok it'll go away..just the side effect of wearing pretty heels." You say pouting at your feet.

"I can totally massage them ..or pick you up if you want." He says. You turn to him narrowing your eyes at him. "Just saying" He shrugs trying to stifle his smile. When you turn again going to turn the nob of your door. He pulls you a little making you look at him. "Are you going to come out again after changing? We could talk.." He says nibbling his lip. He just doesn't want to let you go. "Talk about what?" You ask softly, raising your brows at him. "Just..anything" He shrugs. "Ok I'll see." You say ..he let's you go with a sigh then whispering an "ok".

And you're no different you don't want to go as well. So you turn around calling him, "Seungcheol" This time you're the one catching his hand. "Hmm?" He turns around and you go forward, pulling his hand keeping it on your waist and holding both of his cheeks in your hands.. you stand up on your toes and press your lips on his. His eyes go wide, but he's quick to hold you. After a second of glitching he quickly holds your jaw with other hand and turns his head to the side to kiss you better. He walks you backward slowly,pressing you on the door. Your noses bumping with each other. He's kissing you so gently yet so intensely and you're trying to return it as much as possible. You pull back to catch your breaths.

"Guess you're whipped for me too Huh?" He says exhaling above your lips, wiping his thumb over your lower lip.."And if I am?" You say with a smirk repeating what he had said. You watch his eyes go from wide and round to dark and dangerous in a second before he groans and presses his lips on yours again, more harshly this time. "Mhm" You let out and press yourself further in his arms looping your hands in his neck, and his hair pulling and caressing the hair on his nape.

"A-are you- trying to kill me baby?" He asks in between the kiss,pulling back so you could hear him. "Shit - don't- call me that" You say between the sharp exhales to catch your breath. "Youh-you don't like it? " he asks furrowing his eyebrows, removing the hair strands from your face with his fingers and putting them behind your ear.

"Nah..I like it too much.. that's the problem." You say your eyes going from his eyes to his lips. He smiles, again those damn dimples. He chuckles and presses his lips on yours gently, you feel it tickle your lips. "Thank you for telling me that ..baby" He says,talking over your lips. You feel his smile growing. And looking at him that happy and smiley, you laugh too..pressing your giggles to his lips. "I'm not letting you go now..it's all your fault" He says pulling you to himself again kissing you properly.

A/N: so here's the part 2 ..sorry for being late but look it's so long and my hands just kept going 😭😭 they still want me to write more ..if you want that too then reblog/ comment. AND HOW IS IT PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME.❤️

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imabeautifulbutterfly · 3 months

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Ok, this is so fun! Congrats again!

I'll pick...Hunter (shocked, I'm sure.)

How about: "I don't think I've ever seen you smile" and "Oh, don't be cute"/"Wait, did you just say that I'm cute?"

Thanks!!

Carol (@clonethirstingisreal)

Thank you @clonethirstingisreal - I hope you love this Carol, it actually brought a smile to my face as I was writing it.

Enjoy, love oo.

One Meal

Warnings: knife flipping, allusions to loss, slight angst, fluff. I think that's it, if I miss any please let me know.

Main Master List | Star Wars Fic Roulette

Hunter flicked his knife back and forth in between his fingers, as he contemplated the next mission. Things were … different, since you joined. Not good or bad … just different. It been about six months, and yes, the Marauder was cleaner and didn’t have that lingering smell anymore, and yes, the meals had gotten better too, because you refused to just eat the ration bars the GAR provided. And … okay, it was nice to see your smiling face in the morning, compared to the miserable faces of his brothers.

Yet, he still felt awkward around you. He wanted to laugh with you, like you could so easily with Wrecker, to have deep discussion, like you could with Tech, even philosophical discussions like you did with Echo. Hell, he’d be happy if he could just do target practice with you, like you did with Crosshair, but … every time he opened his mouth, he was curt, short tempered, and on edge.

It wasn’t even your fault, it was just him.

He stood from his seat, heading down the ramp and taking in a breath of fresh air. You were cooking dinner, doing your best to teach Wrecker that just because salt tasted good, didn’t mean he had to put in a whole table spoon full.

It made him laugh a little as you tried to explain in your most patient voice possible, that you’d fix the dinner and Wrecker could go help Tech or Crosshair with something else. It was your polite way of saying ‘go away.’

Hunter tried but he couldn’t stop the smile on his lips, as he walked over to you.

"I don't think I've ever seen you smile" you pointed out as he walked up to you. “What’s got you so happy?”

“Oh, I just saw how you were very tactful with Wrecker. It was funny.”

You shrugged trying to fight back your own laughter as you tried to fix the stew, by adding more water, “He tried. I’m grateful he’s willing to learn.”

“Need help? I’m not completely inept when it comes to cooking.”

You looked a little surprised when he asked, not that his offering to help was a real shock, it was the fact you realized this was the first time you two had a proper conversation. “Um … yeah, if you don’t mind using your handy dandy knife there, that you like flipping around so much, to cut up some of these veggies so I can add them, that’d be great.”

Hunter chuckled at your description, as he nodded, taking a seat and getting to work, “Where did you learn to cook?” He asked, hoping to get to know you a little better.

“My mom and grandmother. They were adamant that I learn how to feed an army if I ever needed to …” you chuckled, “I had a big family, back home. Usually there would be around twenty of us for dinner.”

“Twenty? Did you have a lot of siblings?”

“No. It was just me. But I had uncles, aunts, cousins, friends, neighbours, anyone and everyone who needed a meal could always come to our place for dinner. We never turned away anyone in need of a good meal.”

“Sounds nice.”

“It was …” a sadness passed your face, as you thought back to what had once been your home, until the Separatist droid army showed up, and destroyed everything you had held so dear.

Hunter saw your smile slip, it pained him to see that you had been through so much, although he hadn’t heard about it directly from you, he did overhear what had happened when you were talking with Tech. “Well we appreciate all your efforts, especially when you’re trying to teach us neanderthals how to cook.”

You giggled a little, pushing away the sad thoughts that had encapsulated your mind for a split second, “You’re not neanderthals.”

“We’re not exactly proper either. Couldn’t say, we’re exactly suited for a posh dinner.”

You shook your head as you laughed, “You don’t need to be suited for a posh dinner, you just need to show up to eat.” You smiled as you turned to look at him, smirking as you saw how perfectly he cut each vegetable.

You walked over and grabbed the tray of veggies, and dropped them into the stew, “Thanks for your help.”

“Of course. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure”

“Why do you take care of us? I mean granted the Marauder smells a lot better, and the meals you cook are much better than the GAR rations, but … why do you do it?”

You stirred the stew as you contemplated the question, “I guess … because you feel like family to me.” You turned to look at him, truthfully, he was the only one that you didn’t think of as family, you wanted something more with him, something special, but seeing as this was the first time you two actually talked, it might be a bit far-fetched to imagine that could possibly happen. “And, I love seeing how my food makes you guys happy. Wrecker, has the biggest smile on his face, whenever he eats when I cook. Tech has this adorable blush, although he’ll never admit how much he enjoys my cooking. And Crosshair … well he always comes back for seconds; and frankly, between you and me, he needs to eat more. He’s too skinny. I could break off his collarbone if I needed.”

“I enjoy it too,” Hunter clarified as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “I might not say it, but I always look forward to your cooking.” He blushed and turned his head away, not wanting you to see how much of an effect you had on him, and not just because of your cooking.

You laughed at his reaction, "Oh, don't be cute” you teased, “I might have to walk over there and pinch your cheeks.”

Hunter started to laugh, when he realized what you said, “Wait, did you just say that I'm cute?"

Main Master List | Star Wars Fic Roulette

Tag list:

@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24@spicymcnuggies@lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @sprout-fics @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @ulchabhangorm @littlemisspascal @tortor-mcgee @vodika-vibes @clonethirstingisreal

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scribblesofagoonerr · 4 months

Text

Because I can't loose you | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, B- Because I can't loose you

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Thanks for all the love so far on this fic. It's overwhelming to see the response and thank you to those who reached out.

Also, I’d also like to thank @samkerrworshipper for giving me the courage to actually post these fics and not just keep them in my drafts 🫶🏼

Again, none of it's been proof read as I just wrote whatever came into my head right now so I apologise if it doesn't make sense at all.

Here's pt. 2 of inner demons :)

Is this something that you guys would be interested to read more if I turned it into a small fic series to write about the struggles which a teenager has with the added pressure of a professional football career while she is battling her inner demons.

Waiting in the hospital for you to wake up, it's clear to see how much all of the girls love you and there'll always be there through the ups and downs in your life.

TW: heavy angst and talks of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"God, she looks so tiny in that bed" Alessia was the first one to break the silence for the first time since you had been admitted to the hospital.

"She shouldn't be here-- I mean, she shouldn't be here in this... in the hospital right now" Laura struggles to express her emotions as her face sadens while she looks at your unconcious body attached to all the different wires and monitors.

"I... I'm not used to her like this, she's always laughing and joking around. This is different" Kyra says, the Aussie girl has never known you to be like as she is used to your cheeky and vibrant attitude, not the reserved and broken shell of a girl that you had become once again. "She'll be okay, won't she?" she asks quietly as she looks at the rest of the girls around the room.

"She has to be" Lotte states as she nods her head.

"She has us, she's family and we don't turn our backs on family no matter what" Kim tells them in a determined tone of voice. "Whatever her struggle is, we'll be there for her through it all. She's one of our own" she adds.

The last 24 hours had been harrowing for every single one of the girls on your team.

News had quickly spread round to the rest of the team and as soon as they heard, they all made their way to the hospital to join the rest of the girls.

They were all now sat waiting in your hospital room with anticipation for you to wake up.

"We should have realised sooner" Lia speaks up with a certain quiver in her voice.

"Why hasn't she woke up yet?" Beth was the first to ask the question that all the girls wanted to know the answer too as well but were too scared to ask.

"It will take time" Viv replies as she moves her hand to gently place it on her girlfriends' shoulder and give her a reassuring smile.

"But she should be awake by now, right?" Katies' eyebrow's nit together in confusion as she looks at the rest of the girls for any response. "I... I mean, you know, it's been a good few hours now, hasn't it?" she continues to ask.

"I... I don't get it. She was doing better" Steph swallowed the lump in her throat as she spoke up.

"No, no, she was... She is doing better. This is just a slip up" Katie tries to convince them as she casts a glance to your frail body lay in the hospital bed.

"This isn't just a slip up, Katie. This is different" Jen sighs in disagreement.

"You don't know that, we don't know what has happened or what's been said to cause her to do this" Caitlin states while she shakes her head.

"If she wakes up" Katie mumbles quietly, avoiding the hardened glare from the rest of the girls in the room. "I... I mean, it's been a while, hasn't it? She still doesn't show any sign of coming round any time soon" she tells them to defend herself.

"Jen's right, this is different" Steph turns to her fellow Australian as she bites her bottom lip in realisation. "This isn't just a slip up this time, this is... I think Y/N has been suffering in silence for a while" she tells them.

"Why didn't she tell us? We could have helped her with whatevers' been going on" Beth asks confused.

Nobody could know the answer to that, nobody could realise the inner demons that you were battling inside of your head once more.

The somber silence was quick to turn into intense commotion as all of the girls threw numerous questions around the room.

Did you stop going to your therapy appointments? Yes, they judged you on whatever you said.

Did you stop taking your meds? Yes, they made your brain foggy.

Have you feeling like this for a while and we didn't realise? Yes, you kept it quiet to not be a burden to anyone.

Was it something you saw that triggered it? Yes, your not as strong as people think you are.

There was only one person that hadn't uttered a single word in the whole 24 hours since you were admitted.

Leah, the one person who hadn't left your side the entire time.

The blonde just sat there with, a numb expression plastered on her face and her hand clutched onto your own tightly, afraid to let go.

Her sunken eyes were a enough to certify the blonde hadn't slept at all, instead she fought to keep her eyes open while she kept her eyes focused on your small vulnerable body lay in the hospital bed, where the wires were connected to the monitor that showed the slow, steady rhythm of your heart.

You shouldn't be here, you were doing so much better. You should be on the football field, partaking in the training session ahead of the game.

Why was that not the case?

"Girls, stop. None of these questions are helping right now" It was your Arsenal captain, Kim to speak aloud in her usual stern voice that quickly got the attention of the room.

"Yeah, you're right" Katie exhales a sigh and bites her bottom lip.

"How about we go and get some coffee? The doctors will round soon to check her vitals" Kim suggests to them all, a subtle way to get them all out of the room to take a breather from the tension in there.

"That would be a good idea" Steph agrees with the Scots' women and slowly moves to stand up from her seat in the room.

Most of the girls get the hint and exit the room until it's just Leah, Lia, Beth, Viv and Katie.

"Kims' right, it would be a good idea to stretch our legs" Beth states as she glances at the remaining girls in the hospital room.

"Yeah" Katie is a bit more hesistant to leave you but goes to stand up.

"Leah--" Leah begins to speak to the blonde.

"I'm not leaving her" Leah broke her silence for the first time since you had been admitted, a quiver in her voice that spoke for itself of how run down she was. "I'm... I'm not leaving her, Wally. I have to be here when she wakes up" she adds in.

"That might be a while yet" Viv admits quietly.

"It might be good to get some fresh air, Le" Beth's hesistant to suggest to the blonde incase she snaps at her.

"No" Leah was quick to decline.

"You haven't moved from the chair since you got here, Le" Lia says as shows her concern for the blonde defender.

"No. I'm not... I'm not leaving her" Leah's voice shakes with fear as she continues to stare at you. "I can't leave her" she tells them.

Knowing it wouldn't be any to try and fight her decision, the girls all begin to exit the room slowly as they turn back to look at the blonde with apprehensive looks as if they were hesitant to leave her.

"We'll be back soon, we have our phones on us if you need anything" Viv rests her hand on the blondes' shoulder as she starts to walk out.

As soon as it was just the two of you in the room, Leah let out a shaky breath as she let her vulnerability show.

"You need to wake up, Y/N/N" The blonde cries as she moves to bow her head down on your bed as she still keeps a tight hold of your hand. "Please, Y/N. Wake up, I can't... I need you to be okay" she continues to sob freely.

The noise of the monitors was soon drowned out by the loud wails' of the blonde, her whole body trembles as tears continue to spill down her cheeks.

She couldn't lose you, you were more than just her team mate to her.

You were her family, whether it was flesh of blood or not.

You were a part of her life, she couldn't watch you die.

#arsenal x reader #woso x reader #arsenal women x reader #leah williamson #woso #woso imagine #woso fanfics #heavy angst #leah williamson x reader #arsenal wfc x reader

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meaningofaeons · 1 year

Note

Hi!! I just started reading your stuff and I really like it!! I was wondering if I could request some headcanons with the HSR boys (your choice but I would appreciate one with Jing Yuan) with a reader who is part of the Stelleron hunters and their role is to clear up any clues they may have left behind not on purpose, the boys caught them in the act and they made a break for it, but after the event the reader finds themself to be looking after the boys more (you can decide whether they know or if they find out due to a coincidence) and they confront the reader about it.

- 🌙 Anon

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈ stellaron spy

⊹ character(s) - dan heng, jing yuan ⊹ word count - 1.7k ⊹ notes - gn!reader, stellaron hunter!reader, a bit of angst, fluff, mystery, intrigue, oh my!

hi 🌙 anon!!!! omy my first named anon (₌♥ᆽ♥₌) I'm so glad to hear you enjoy my writing!!! I was very tempted to add sampo to the mix here but as the stellaron hunters were not involved much with anyone in belobog I decided against it. but who knows?! maybe a p2 for this will come out! anyways, thank you for the request my lovely!!! I had fun with it! (๑✪ᆺ✪๑)

post editing katze here - I'm so sorry these read more like scenarios than hcs but all my hcs kinda do </3 I hope you enjoy nonetheless!

⊹ Dan Heng

Your assignment was simple: Clean up the Stellaron Hunters' presence in the Herta Space Station, and leave no trace of your own visit.

As a member of the highly skilled group, you were more than prepared and qualified.

And of course, Kafka and Silver Wolf saw fit to leave a mess behind for you as always.

They never did anything beyond Elio's allowance in order to guide the universe to the correct future, and it's not as if they had anything against you, but you still somehow ended up with a large workload each time.

A stray piece of Silver Wolf's code here, a bullet with Kafka's insignia on it there.

Nothing out of the ordinary, and all seemingly meaningless in the pursuit of the ideal future. Things that would be cast aside by the average person, if not missed entirely.

And yet, that's why you were here—those very "meaningless" pieces of evidence were specific items ordered by Elio that could cause the single tip of a domino should they be found and investigated. The most insignificant things could completely restructure the path you were on, and by extension, Elio's plans.

Of course, Destiny's Slave didn't tell you everything.

Specifically, he neglected to mention you literally bumping into a member of the Astral Express Crew.

On the way into a restricted section full of monsters.

Just perfect.

"Ah, I'm terribly sorry!" You were flustered, yes, but it served as a good cover considering your disguise as a researcher.

The man before you looked indifferent by nature, but something about you caught his eye, and he put his arms out to steady you.

"It's fine. Why are you heading into a restricted zone?"

"Ahh, I'm okay! Just grabbing some of my research materials! If you'll excuse me..."

He didn't seem content to leave you to do as you wished considering your disguise, but then he caught sight of the bullet you held. Kafka's bullet, signature carved into the side and all.

He put two and two together, his blue eyes widening.

"You—"

Before he could say anything further, you had vanished, hearing his footsteps chasing after you after ducking into an alcove. He came and went, and you found yourself alone again.

Well, there goes a smooth mission... He's surely off to alert security.

As the days passed, you continued your task. Of course, Kafka had given you a predictable answer when you confronted her about the run-in with the black-haired man.

"That would be Dan Heng of the Astral Express Crew. Don't worry. You were fated to meet. As I'm sure you know, your foresight on meeting him would have ruined the future."

Of course.

However, the young man intrigued you, and you eventually found yourself watching over him more and more.

He went to get lunch? You would subtly switch your disguise and be in line right behind him.

He took a walk around the station? You weren't far behind.

He entered a restricted zone to assist? You cleared out a couple of monsters ahead of him to make his job easier.

It's all for the mission, you'd justify. Just monitoring him to ensure he doesn't throw a wrench into Elio's plans.

Eventually, your little side-mission caught up to you.

"I really should just turn you in."

A pale hand had reached over your head, grabbing the information tablet above you, and you paused.

Compared to your previous meeting, you were a lot more calm. After all, as Kafka had said, you only needed trust in Elio and his future.

"Then why haven't you?"

The dark-haired man couldn't provide an answer.

"Are you here to stir up trouble again... Stellaron Hunter?"

"Just the opposite, really."

Dan Heng was perplexed, yet intrigued—two feelings he didn't experience often.

"I really should...—ugh. Never mind. For now, I won't do a thing. But I'll be keeping an eye on you."

"I will do the same for you."

"I've noticed."

"Then I'm sure you've noticed the gift I left in your pocket."

As soon as he looked down, you were gone. Still, you weren't lying—there in his pocket lay a piece of paper with your contact information... along with an alias.

Dan Heng didn't know what to feel, but a strange warmth filled his cheeks, and he ran a hand over his face.

What... just happened?

You, meanwhile, having completed your mission, met back up with Kafka in only a few hours' time.

"Your number, hm? Smooth, Y/N. I didn't think you had it in you. Should I consider this a betrayal?"

"Hush up, Kafka. You know this was bound to happen."

"Astute as always."

You had to hold back your groan along with your own reddened cheeks.

⊹ Jing Yuan

Being a Stellaron Hunter meant trusting Elio no matter what, even if it seemed to be at your own peril.

Even with his indifference towards his own and your lives in the face of the necessary future, Destiny's Slave had assured you and the rest of the Stellaron Hunters that you were not to be expended for the cause.

At least, not for a very, very long time.

So why is the General of the Xianzhou Luofu in front of you right now?

This wasn't in the plan! Only Kafka and Blade were meant to be arrested!

Your momentary panic caused you to forget the obvious—

You're not on any wanted lists, you have not been seen associating with either detained Stellaron Hunter on the Luofu, and you're posed as a completely ordinary Xianzhou Outworlder.

On top of that... Kafka had secured you a (fake) position somewhat close to the General for intel-gathering. For all intents and purposes, you were meant to be here.

But that handsome face honestly made your brain run on empty at the most crucial moment. And besides, your false position wasn't that high up!

Unless it was, and the information was withheld in case you got captured...

You wondered if Elio could laugh, and if he could, whether he was amused by your current blunder. Surely, all according to the plan of destiny.

"Goodness. I knew I had some level of charm somehow, but to think I'd evoke such a reaction."

You froze up upon General Jing Yuan moving his face even closer to yours, inspecting you carefully.

"Or perhaps you're just intimidated by me?"

Focus, Y/N, focus!

"Not at all, General," you were quick to respond, impressing even yourself at the steadiness in your voice. "I was simply stunned that the General would greet me, a mere advisor, personally."

"Well, mere advisor, I find you enthralling. Please report to work tomorrow directly to my desk. I'll have you assist me with my paperwork."

...Huh?

That's how you found yourself roped into being Jing Yuan's personal assistant.

The incident with Kafka and Blade progressed naturally, but you found yourself with more and more work.

All to keep up the cover of a simple employee trying to earn your daily wages, you supposed. Not to mention, the closeness of it all allowed you intel on Jing Yuan that you never would have acquired otherwise.

It made sense that this was Elio's plan all along, but you were still a bit bittersweet about your circumstances.

The sweet part being... Well, the General was nice to look at, and he wasn't a bad conversationalist, either.

And of course, the intel. The intel was good. You were certainly still focused on it.

When he ate, when he took walks (casual ones, he assured you when you were forced to join him, but you knew it was a guise for patrolling the Luofu), and when he trained with Yanqing, the Cloud Knight Lieutenant.

Everything went straight to Elio's ear.

The bitter part... Everything else.

Every day, you wondered if the General knew your identity and purpose. Yet he never spoke a word of it.

And his requests were getting more ridiculous by the day!

"Y/N, would you be so kind as to keep me company while I finish my paperwork?"

"That would be highly unprofessional... I must clock out for the night."

Another night, it was something else.

"Y/N, how about a game of chess?"

"We're working, General."

"Call me Jing Yuan, would you? 'General' is far too uptight."

"That would also be unprofessional!"

"Isn't it more unprofessional to deny your superior's request?"

Now you were sure of it. Elio, along with Kafka, Blade, and Silver Wolf, and every single one of the other Stellaron Hunters...

They were watching this all like a horrendous, slow-burn, romantic sitcom, and they were laughing their heads off at you running yourself ragged. That had to be it.

However, all good? things come to an end. It was only a few months in that you were called to clean up yet another Stellaron Hunter operation.

And with that, your resignation was plopped on Jing Yuan's desk in the dead of night, with you and him being the only two souls in the entirety of the Seat of Divine Foresight.

"...So, that's it?"

"I'm afraid so."

That smile of his made you want to stay, though you'd never say it aloud.

"Well, I suppose Stellarons are present in many different worlds."

Your jaw could've dropped. It was a miracle your face remained stoic.

"Do come back and visit me, though? Or better yet, desert them entirely and stay by my side?"

The tone was teasing, but the longing was still buried beneath it all.

When your face hardened, his smile softened.

"Of course not. I understand the feeling of being unable to abandon your comrades, your cause. Still, I do hope we meet again."

With a laugh at your silence, he unclasped one of the blue tassels from his uniform and put it right into your expectant hand—instinct on your part at his gesture.

"Return that to me soon. Don't make me wait too long. After all, without it, my coat is asymmetrical. Not a great look for the General of the Luofu, is it, my dear?"

"...No. I suppose it isn't."

It took you less than the space of a breath to vanish from his office, and you knew you likely wouldn't be back—not for a long time, that is—but Jing Yuan's tassel remained in your belongings nonetheless.

#jing yuan x reader #jingyuan x reader #dan heng x reader #danheng x reader #hsr x reader #honkai x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #honkai #hsr #jing yuan #jingyuan #dan heng #danheng #🌙 anon

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daichiduskdrop · 3 months

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

• Chapter 38

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: more angsty than usual, mentions of self worth, abandonment

Words: 3557

Taglist: @thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashionstyle-blog @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragonsflare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae @plexcaffeinate @strawblueberrys @massivelyfullenthusiast @iimichie

I might have forgotten someone, please let me know and I'll add you, the list is open :)

So sorry for such a long break I took. I can't make any promises about updates until my finals, but I hope all is well with you. Please let me know if I'll forget any details in the chapters upcoming ;-;

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„I wasn't sure which you'd prefer cub, so ...I got many.” The man of usual confidence spoke subtly, scratching his arm as he observed your wide eyes at the array before you.

The large plushy bed had different packages of all colours and styles laid on it; there had to be at least 20 different pieces to choose from—colourful, bold, minimalistic, and more simple cuts—all available.

You knew Jin was thoughtful and truly a caring man, an alpha of the right mind, and seeing all the different options he allowed you to have, just for the sake of your comfort, hit you deeper than you would expect.

You cried so much that day; you were exhausted from doing it over and over, and even as you wished you could just stop with these bothersome happenings, you couldn't help the small tears that brimmed your eyes as you looked at the nervous man.

The shiny eyes you gave him worried him immediately. Did you not like what he chose? Has he chosen too little or too much? Were you overwhelmed?

„Cub, baby, no, no, don't cry, I-”

As he reached for you, his arms grasping at your shoulders, you looked away, quickly wiping at your eyes as you sat at the side of the bed, the alpha doing so too right away.

„I'm sorry, Jin.” You oh so quietly whispered as you watched your hands on your lap, the alpha's hand coming to cover yours, his thumb rubbing over the soft skin.

He gulped away the slight shock of you using just his plain name instead of the honorific you seemed to prefer, though he would be a liar saying he didn't like it either.

„...What for? You don't need to apologise; you never did a thing wrong, you know that, right?” The worried gaze of the older man, as he softly spoke, searched yours, but to no avail.

"I'm sorry, it's so complicated with me.”

„What? Sweetheart you-”

„No, I mean it, Jin, I'm sorry that.. that I cry so much and I require all of these things you would never have to worry about before hand, that I'm so sensitive and closed of, that I bother you too much... I'm just sorry, okay?”

The drop that happened this afternoon took a toll on you; all could recognise, but the eldest didn't expect this—he didn't expect that you would start to apologise.

Apologise for the things they never would mind about you—all that could only strengthen your bond and help it solidify. Let them care for you. Did you not understand how much they needed you? You should depend on them; let them, for once in their lives, truly freely indulge in the option to care for someone else, fill their needs, and stop holding back.

„Y/N, don't ever say sorry for something that isn't to apologise for, okay?” His voice was soft, his palm squeezing yours gently. But you didn't answer, only a small shrug leaving you.

„...You know, when I was younger, before we debuted, it was so difficult to be an alpha, I mean. We would train all the time, have no time to create relationships, and hardly had time for our family packs, yet our relationship wasn't as strong as it is today, as you can imagine... It was a mess, a true mess.”

The low timber of his voice washed over you as you allowed yourself to listen to his calm voice. He wasn't fretting over you, staying serious and communicative instead of letting the sometimes overwhelming mindset of his second gender take over, much like they usually would when it came to you.

„Jungkookie was just a boy back then; he still went to his school, but I think it took the toll on him the greatest—me and the olders like Yoongi and even Minnie and Tae all already started to grow more self-sufficient; we all stopped being so dependent on our family packs, making the transition smoother, but gosh, ...Kook-ah was just too young.”

You recognised the regret in his voice, the way his voice lightly shook as he looked at the ceiling, blinking rapidly—he too was about to cry, you could tell. Yet as you were about to reach your hand from his and console him like he has done so many times for you, Jin looked over, a small yet smiley, watery frown on his face.

„No peaches, let me finish telling you about this; it's so important for you to know,” and you could only nod slightly, this time your fingers tightening upon his „about how much you help, I think you don't even realise.”

„He barely presented when we started as trainees, and we were all alphas, BigHit mostly highers alphas and betas only, especially for idols, so Jungkook hardly ever got to care for someone, anything really, and I regret ever letting him do it to himself, god, you don't understand how much I do.”

As one of the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen shed their first tear, the elder too was quick to wipe them away, mimicking just what you had done a while earlier.

„We could never fill that role for him; I could do so much for him—act as an older brother, be there for him during his graduation ceremony, and whatnot—but he was just so desperate to have a soul to care for... that, that we could never give to him.

And we needed one like that too, but no matter who BigHit would hire, gosh, it was just so uncomfortable, you can't even imagine. But that was the most we could ever get, unless we would have someone sign NDA's and other bullshit you just don't bring up on the first date, you know?”

The alpha sighed, reviving the old memories he had buried so long ago.

„Sometimes we would unintentionally just start coddling Kook too; he was the youngest, and it just happened on its own, but then later, as we got older, he would snap at us, all valid though looking back at it now...

I just... Y/N I just want you to know that we had never ever, and I promise you, I've met many, gotten around to such a precious gem like you are. Whatever we do with you just feels right, and you must understand, please, that you are far more precious to us than you'd ever think you are. And I'm so sorry we don't let you know enough.”

Jin looked your way, his eyes once again searching yours, now with much more vigour and need. He needed you to know just how well you filled that deep hollow carved in their chest throughout the years of disappointment and sadness.

„Jin-”

„I'm serious, Y/N. I would never lie to you about this. How could I? I know people didn't treat you the way they should; I know you are hurting deep inside; and I know one conversation like this just won't smooth the hurt away, and I'm so, so, very sorry it's that way. I'm sorry they hurt you, my precious cub, and I promise I'll never let you hurt alone again. Just let us be there for you, truly.”

This time, his voice was firm, his eyes holding yours until they blurred with tears. You felt sorry for them, for Jungkookie being so lonely, and you felt sorry for them, for you believed they deserved so much better than you could ever be there to offer.

And so you could only reach out for him, your hands clasping to his shoulders as the alpha lifted you over to his lap, letting both his and your tears cascade, soft sniffles and sobs filling the room.

The eldest held you like you were just the finest, most perfect work of art he was blessed to lay eyes upon. With care and the upmost love the man could offer, you deserved it all.

He let his chin rest upon the top of your head, and as you hid in the crook of his neck, your nose resting close to the scent gland offering a mean to calm you, you noticed a sad undertone you didn't recognise that well there, too close for your comfort.

Jin was upset; he was upset at how little you thought of yourself, how complicated your life has been, and how terribly the people meant to cherish you would treat you. He was so upset and just wished to take all the hurt you so delicately stored in your heart away and just heal you in his arms.

„...I just am s-so scared of getting attached... and losing you, oppa.” Your gentle voice against his ears, the reality of all the issues, drops, and tears shared with you and the pack downing on him.

You didn't want to let yourself be comforted deep inside, letting their words heal just the surface of the problems while the calm waves above hid the true storm below.

Gosh, he should have realised, Jin cursed himself as he held you just closer.

„Oh, Y/N, we would never leave you, sweetheart, never... Have you not seen how much we grew to you over time? We need you so much, Y/N, you can't even imagine.”

The man known for his confidence once again seemed to have lost his words, though his actions spoke louder as he just held you closer, letting the tears fall as his soft tears turned into loud sobs, holding you to his chest.

You let your legs wrap around his slim waist, the alpha answering by squeezing you even more, as if you were to disappear, to hurt when he wouldn't be there to offer his hold.

Not many times were offered for you to learn to comfort and console someone, but with them, it felt different, open, and never uncomfortable to do actions you'd never even think you'd ever even try with anyone else.

And so, you allowed your second gender tendencies to guide you, your own cheek flush against his neek and jaw as you rubbed your scent over the scent gland, sending distressed waves through the room.

Just as you were in the middle of the scenting, hopefully helping the alpha calm down, a soft knock sounded on the doors, followed by a deep voice you grew to recognise easily.

„Hyung? Kitten, is everything okay?”

To be truthful, the man sensed something wrong all too long ago, and so as he, Jungkook and Hoseok were preparing the little snacks like popcorn and drinks to have during the movie night, he felt his heart strings twitch.

But all seemed well around the kitchen and so in the living room, as Jimin and Taehyung argued about whether they should watch the first movie with Japanese dabing or Korean dabing with Japanese subtitles.

He couldn't see Namjoon, a soft frown settling upon his smooth complexion. Though he heard the close doors shut, he could smell the pack alpha approaching, just with a package in his arms, the two younger alphas gasping upon seeing him.

And so, that only left you and Jin, and after a while of the slight distress going through the bond, Yoongi grew worried the others would pick upon it too.

Not that he didn't want them to not know whatever was going on, but if it regarded you, he noticed how the large group could be just too much sometimes, and so he abandoned the softly popping popcorn, letting Hobi take over as he went to investigate.

As he came closer to Jin's bedroom, only then could he recognise the alpha's upset scent, shocking the younger. He realised he had only seen the eldest cry a handful of times and heard the soft sobs coming behind the room—no, that wasn't the sweet omega they grew to pamper over time; that was his hyung, an alpha who holds back his tears until the very last strength he holds, until he crumbles.

And for once in a long time, the usually calm and composed man grew unsure of his next steps. Should he let him be, or should he come in, one or another? But the moment he heard your sniffles, he decided to knock.

After his voice, it was quiet for a bit, and when he got no response, Yoongi gently cracked the doors open, a sudden heavy, distressed, and sad scent clouding his senses.

The man's eyes widened, yet he didn't peer into the room, choosing to face it sideways, as if to give you privacy. He wasn't there to giggle at your sadness; he wasn't there to oogle at you and tease you both later. No, he was there to help.

„Hey,... Hey, is everything okay? Should I go grab someone?” The slight unsureness of his voice made it easy to decipher that he did not know how to approach the situation. His hyung was an alpha after all; it would only do more damage if he started comforting him, and neither did Yoongi necessarily want to do so.

„N-No, it's okay, you can come in.” You had never heard Jin stutter, and the soft and defeated voice he held squeezed your heart.

The doors shut soon after, and it took a few seconds for the younger to compose himself, seeing the dishevelled older alpha and how softly you were scenting him. Even in the darkened mood, Yoongi saw the light; you looked comfortable, comforting the older. Another step towards the hopefully near future.

„...What happened?” He asked softly, coming closer with shuffling steps, his loose sweats, and a hoodie matching the sluggish movement of his.

The man too sat down next to you both; instead of hugging the elder, he chose to let his fingers gently comb through your hair and instead put soft eyes over the pair. Only then did you stop the profound scenting; your glossy eyes, too glossy for the alpha's liking, took hold of his worried gaze.

„...It's okay...me and oppa talked about some stuff.;” It was you who spoke up as Jin's soft sniffles quieted down, his hold lightly loosening as he sat up better.

The teary soft smile he gave you was heartbreaking, but you understood well what his eyes said: „We would never abandon you, never in a million years.”

And you felt comforted. You trusted the man with all you had; the littlest amount of trust you could offer was all theirs.

„I'm sorry, Yoongi-ah, I didn't mean to cry like this.” The bitter chuckle that left the elder had the other alpha in slight shock, his cat-like eyes widening.

„Hyung, I don't..." yet his sentence didn't follow, the man choosing to stay quiet, his palm falling upon the elder's arm in a small squeeze, possibly to comfort, acknowledge, or both.

Yoongi would lie if he said he didn't feel like crying at least once because of the hurt you stored in your fragile heart. He had never felt that way, which confused him slightly. He would have never cried because someone took their problems out on the one he grew to care for. Sure, he would have been angry, but not in the same way as with you.

„...Let's talk downstairs, okay? That way, you don't have to repeat anything uncomfortable.” Jin's lightly raspy voice sounded, and the softest peck imaginable landing just at your temple. A last squeeze was shared between you two as you slowly climbed out of bed. The other alpha was quick to take hold of your left hand as the eldest held your right.

And as you came closer to the living room, full of soft and sweet ruckus, the first to notice the reddened cheeks on Jin was the youngest, the doe eyes widening as he gasped a soft „Hyung!” abandoning the chip packet and approaching quickly.

Your eyes also shined too much for his liking, but before he could voice any distress, the second-eldest shushed him already.

„Let's all talk together, Koo.” Yoongi's voice was firm, shutting any questions about to spill as the others worried glances fell upon both Jin and you.

It didn't take long before you all took a seat upon the couches; all could be dispersed yet sticking together, your seat between the olders. Hobi was quick to offer you both a tissue or two, his distressed eyes set watching closely, as if to seek a way he could allow himself to help once.

None of the others were any better, just wishing to hold you close and never have to worry about anything wrong coming your way ever again. God, they'd do anything if it meant you'd be safe and sound.

"...Me and Jin oppa had a talk, and I...” Your soft voice, starting confident, seemed to grow colder and more shaky with each passing word, dying out too soon for their liking.

But with the men's fingers holding yours closer if possible, you continued, describing just how sorry you were for all the worry you put them through whenever they would take you out and how difficult you were, voicing your worries and distress.

"...I'm so scared, so scared of how much I rely on you, and I'm just so worried you'll be gone soon, and I just don't want to be alone again.” You didn't dare look up for the entire time of your rant, thought before you knew it, just before you an alpha fell to his knees.

Jungkook, his bright eyes shining with tears as he too softly cried, much like many of the others.

„Y/N, baby..” The gaze of pure heartbreak he gave you had you looking away, his hands holding your cheeks to make you look back at him again, tears welling up in both his and your eyes, hands trembling with emotion. The pack members exchanged pained glances, realising the depth of your fear of being alone.

"I know... I know you all care for me. And that's what scares me the most—the thought of losing this, losing all of you. I don't think I could live again."

The youngest too broke into sobs just as the elder had before, his arms taking you from the pair as he gently pulled you to his lap, his nose hidden in the very crook of your neck, his body tense with sorrow.

He could never forgive himself for not being there for you when you needed them the most.

The entire pack mourned with sorrows, and even after the others calmed down over time, the pack alpha, the quickest to recover from having to constantly blink his tears away, would envelop you both in his embrace, the softest shushes leaving his lips as he promised on his life that he would never leave you.

„...alpha would never lie to you, my sweetest love; you know that, right? I'll always be here, for all you need.”

And soon after, Namjoon pulled both of you back onto the couch, letting the youngest latch onto you, the omega he grew to desire and need over the time shared, as the packalpha rubbed the small of your back, a touch of comfort.

You didn't cry; just a few sniffles left you ever so often, yet you shook like a feather in the wind realising how open you were about yourself after such a long time.

Years it took you to be vulnerable with someone other than your throughts, and years it took for you to find someone in your life who didn't take advantage of you even then.

And so, as it dawned on you just how purehearted the pack was, you allowed yourself to truly relax and be truly assailable yet with no fear, a luxury you never realised was foreign.

When Jimin leaned over to softly ask you if you still wanted to watch the movie, you nodded, sending the man a reassuring smile. The alpha smiled back, gently wiping away any tears astray on your cheeks as he held out a blanket for you to cuddle under, a soft thank you leaving you, letting the older tuck you under. Jungkook was quick to shuffle under the warmth too.

Not long after did all the alphas rest into comforting places, though to be truthful, all in the end unconsciously formed around you, your soft body closely held in the very centre, like the most precious gem, just as Jin described earlier, laid in the deepest of the dragon's lair.

When the first Harry Potter movie started playing, the Japanese subtitles turned on, even if you didn't need them, for you was a thought that mattered; the alphas took you into consideration, and you appreciated it more than you'd allow yourself to think you'd do.

Hobi would lean over, whispering soft, teasing comments about how each character was a bit too silly to begin with, telling you about your house, a true Hufflepuff he claimed, and joking around softly with the new words created in the universe. And deep down you knew he was trying to cheer you up.

You grew to like the story of the movie, not even realising how much time has passed, tiredness coming over you when your eyes fluttered shut, the last memory of the night of Jungkook's arms gently wrapped around your waist, his chest warming up your back as he whispered into your ear with a soft timber:

„Sleep tight, bunny. I love you so much.” Sealing his promise with a soft kiss to the top of your head.

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