#despite crowley's insistence lol

[azusawrites]

The Headmaster continued, blind to the exchange. “But! Because Miss Hightower has no magic to speak of whatsoever, being just your average, run-of-the-mill, boy-crazy, fashion-conscious teenager girl with a great fondness for her Honourary Uncle–” It was impressive how much he could get wrong in just one sentence. He made it seem like an art form. “–thing are different for her! It’s that very ‘ordinary’ quality of hers which makes her stand out! After all, being so acutely paranoid of the outside has made Miss Hightower be very, very observant in a variety of ways! Not to mention quite adept in a variety of fields! Has it not?”

wip: mirror marchen

fandom: twisted wonderland

wc: 4435

next chapter sneak peek

#azusaprogress #mirror marchen #twisted wonderland #it's the return of proud uncle crowley #kore's biggest enemy #simply because he's delusional and embarrassing #and they're not even related #despite crowley's insistence lol #but this time he comes with a nice message #which she does appreciate #even though for the moment she's just stunned #baby boar is not used to complements the poor sweetie #so she needs time to process them lol

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

Nerdy “Aziraphale and Crowley are super in love” Analysis time! (Filmmaking and acting edition)

(Very late but I promise it’s worth it)

Imo the moment Aziraphale realizes he’s in love with Crowley is Ep 3 when the Apocalypse is looming and Crowley flippantly says, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you”

Aziraphale gives the look

And it all changes

From an acting perspective, Crowley takes a confident and almost defiant stance. Despite walking away, his arms are wide open. He constantly shrouds himself in being aloof and bad, so this exaggerated gesture is the way he shows his true feelings. This is the world I can provide you. Please take it.

From a filmmaking perspective, this is a wide shot, showing Crowley and Aziraphale's physical and emotional distance. Crowley is in focus, pointing out to the right. In Western filmmaking, characters moving left to right indicate progress

This doesn't apply to countries where they write right to left or up and down. Anime flows up and down for this reason, but that's another story

Crowley has his back to the camera because his reaction doesn't matter here. He knows what he wants; his needs are clear to himself and the audience

Aziraphale's reaction here is massive. As a new viewer (still 3 eps to go,) I first interpreted their relationship as an unusual companionship. The montage at the beginning of this episode shows their progress from having a mutual agreement to an alliance to a friendship

But this look

That’s the change

The camera pushes in as Aziraphale realizes what Crowley is implying, and he's overwhelmed to the point of burgeoning tears. It's not quite a Hitchcock/Jaws zoom, but it similarly presses the subject closer and tighter into the camera claustrophobically.

Subconsciously, as the audience, we now feel his feelings pressed into him

Part of Aziraphale's reaction is his high moral standard of being an angel. While here he calls Crowley a demon, he has previously insisted, because he is a fallen angel, there is hope for goodness still.

He sees his future as a possibility in Crowley, which would destroy his known world. His moral code however is much more malleable than he would like to think, but to admit that would be failure of doing his duty as an angel

But just this acting choice, his quivering palpable fear, this reaction is much more than, “I don’t want to kill a child/not be an angel.” If he agrees to go with Crowley, the ‘side’ he’s picking isn’t good or evil, it’s love

As the characters are asexual/nonbinary (I think?,) I don’t think canonically the fact that it’s a homosexual relationship is necessarily the issue. However, the metaphor of choosing to walk away from everything you know and believe and the rigid standards of goodness, and instead choosing to be with someone who will inevitably lead you to be cast out from your world, is (unfortunately) a universal gay experience, especially considering the source material is from the late 1980’s

Crowley’s reaction to this rejection is straight up anger played off as a totally reasonable, “C’mon man, we’re best buds,” but his eyes are covered by glasses. Eyes are the windows of the soul and he certainly doesn’t want to break right now in the face of rejection. His eyes are blocked in a very emotional tight shot of him which mirrors Aziraphale's.

Now his reaction matters and we don't really get to see it

I don't know where this goes from here (well uhhhhh I did see The Spoilers ™ but I ain't gonna talk about that lol,) but this just feels like a massive turning point, and the acting and filmmaking really enhance it. From an outsider's perspective, I didn't 'get' this ship at all, but now in context, it completely makes sense. This scene is utterly devastating

This has probably been talked about to death for 4+ years now lol, but just wanted to point out some acting/filmmaking choices that really brought the oh shit moment to light <3

#good omens #good omens season 1 #good omens season 2 #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #ineffable dumbasses #crowly x aziraphale #good omens analysis

[heartscrypt]

Do you have any headcanons for transfem Riddle

OH BOY DO I EVER. sorry this is going to be a HELLISH long post i have been saving all my thoughts

- before riddle realizes she's a girl she does the thing of like. "mother i want to be like you" and mimicks her mother a lot (this is because her mother is the only female figure in her life and riddle doesn't Actually want to be her mom she wants to be what her mom Is which is a WOMAN). her mother, being an overbearing control freak, is far too pleased by this (because she enjoys the idea of a child who is a second version of her)

- never goes as far as trying to wear her mother's dresses or putting on her mother's makeup because touching her mother's personal items feels like a death sentence regardless of how badly she wants to dress up. instead settles for encouraging her mother to buy them matching clothing so that riddle can dress a little more femininely while also flying under the radar

- she realized she was a girl around the time she started sneaking out to see chenya and trey. mostly because they would start talking about themselves when they were playing. chenya especially has always been ambiguously gendered even as a kid (and occasionally i think of trey as transmasc) so they were kind of her gateway to the concept of "you don't have to be the gender you were assigned at birth"

- she grew up with a very black and white view of gender though so she initially refused to come to terms with the fact that she was transfem when chenya + trey brought it up as a possibility. denied it adamantly and insisted that maybe it wasnt true for them but She was confined to the gender she was at birth despite however she felt

- in response chenya just started referring to her using she/her anyways. lol. sending this girl into a crisis by using her proper pronouns before she even comes to terms with the fact that those are her proper pronouns

- approached the subject of wanting to be a girl Once with her mom. her mom reacted like ?what and riddle got scared and immediately backed down

(note: this is because riddle is terrified of her mom's reaction to literally Anything that doesn't fit her vision of what riddle Should be, not necessarily because riddle's mom is transphobic. it's an easy route to say she's transphobic since she's. You know. The Worst. but i have to remind you all that you can be a shitty person even if you're not transphobic and also i think transphobia hcs in fictional universes where transphobia could plausibly not exist are cornyyyy boooooo why would you want transphobia to exist in canon /hj)

- socially transitioned as soon as she came to nrc. like marched up to crowley's office as soon as freshman orientation was over and demanded to change her gender on all school documentation. girl relax its been like an hour

- has not had the means to medically transition yet (her mother has complete control over her medical records) but has been researching the effects of hrt on her own time. it's part of her "studies to be a medical mage" (wink)

- in her freshman year she's still not used to being socially out despite having charged into it at full speed so. she uses heartslabyul rules as a cover of sorts so she can justify to herself things like putting on eyeliner and wearing heels (because that's tradition for the heartslabyul housewarden, not because she wants to. Obviously). fighting invisible demons

- the last time trey saw riddle was when she was still trying to fit into her assigned gender at birth so she's so incredibly nervous meeting him again this time with the knowledge that she's a girl. she knows he'll be accepting because hes. Trey. but it still feels strange. however he is her biggest supporter 🔥🔥🔥 one of her first gender euphoria moments is when he introduces her to cater as one of his childhood best friends and uses the correct pronouns the entire time while referring to riddle's past closeted self. she nearly cries

- deuce (cis) is way too enthusiastic about being an ally. he wears his he/him pronoun badge with pride. addresses riddle as ma'am. drinks his respect women juice. maybe puts a little Too much emphasis on riddle being a lady to the point where riddles like Ok this is too much.

- riddle and vil are baby transfem + elder transfem solidarity. this is honestly just canon if you read the halloween riddle vignette. but im gonna take it one step further and say vil helps riddle gradually feel more comfortable with her identity without feeling the need to justify her actions with some arbitrary rule. also instructs her on how to do makeup because riddles never done anything like that pre-nrc

- cater (genderfluid, loves to experiment on both sides of the gender spectrum when it comes to fashion) definitely regularly insists on taking riddle out to buy cute clothes and dresses. riddle bristles at the idea of being so frivolous when the only thing she Needs to wear at nrc is the uniform but she actually finds herself enjoying the little outings. after they go shopping they'll go to a nice cafe so that riddle can get a cute sweet treat and cater can post it on his magicam without actually having to consume anything sweet himself. they are friends :')...

- ohhhh thinking about their shopping trips is so </3 i love them so much. riddle has old lady fashion taste (tfw your middle aged mom is the only female figure in your life for 16 years and all she wears is dresses that look like theyre from the 17th century) and cater is just a little appalled. says the clothes riddle picks out aren't even vintage they're just Old. riddle retorts that the clothes cater picks out make no sense style-wise. she thinks things like crop tops and ripped jeans are stupid as a concept ("where's the rest of the shirt?" and "why would you want to buy damaged pants?" are common questions cater must endure when shopping for any type of modern fashion with riddle around)

- ace (transmasc guy) likes to torment riddle with gender-affirming misogyny. it's a joke that it is only funny to him. like he'll go "girls 🙄 all they do is nag" (he says its funny because he used to be a girl ok he's allowed to say that) whenever riddle starts bossing him around and riddle gets sooo fucking madhdDGDHHFH

#twisted wonderland headcanons #twst headcanons #twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #jamie talks #txt post #the public forum #holy shit this is fucking LONG #sorry guys. if they didn't want me to post paragraphs about transfem riddle they shouldn't have made her transfem #idk what to tell yall #thems the breaks

[det2x-fanfic-dump]

YUU-SONA/ YUKI-SONA SKETCH DUMP 02

MORE OBEY ME x TWST FeMC CONCEPT ART. FeMC 's name is Yuki.

I like to draw the uniforms for some reason.I colored the clothes nicely but not the hair and eyes cuz coloring with layers and shadows is tedious for me.

Disclaimer: I tend to lose motivation doing full bodies, complex poses and full on shading.

A. NRC Uniform: 1. Grim's Ribbon Without an official band and badge like the rest of the seven dorms, Yuki made a ribbon similar to Grim to classify themselves as part of Ramshackle House. She bought or asked Sam the fabric pattern that is closely similar to Grim's. Having been enrolled in an all boys school, Yuki was given a uniform that is very big for her. Crowley must have forgotten to alter the right size using magic.

2. Hints of Royal Academy of Diavolo She was wearing RAD's uniform at the time when she woke up in the floating coffin during the orientation so she improvised, wearing RAD's undershirt and belt to at least look decent. If you asked, why not sew or clip it on the back to make it look fitted or asked someone to magically alter it for her... her defense...upon seeing Vil's black undershirt and Ruggie's rolled up sleeves and pants or Jamil's jacket under his school coat and etc. she realized maybe... the school isn't that strict with uniforms. B. RAD's Uniform:

Horn Accessory

Being a human representative at RAD, every demon probably wants to have her as a meal. Hence, she always have those croissant-shaped horns as disguise to make herself look like a demon.

The horns also have some magic essence to fend off hungry demons.

2. White Ribbon

A magical item given by Lucifer along with her DDD upon arriving at the Devildom. It changes color if she ever wanted to call one of her pact demons. Multiple colors can appear depending on which demon she called in her DDD or in general.

3. Bell Pin

Yuki have two bells in possession. One from Lucifer when she arrived at the Devildom as an exchange student for the first time and the other one is from Satan when he and Yuki reunite in Twisted Wonderland after Riddle's overblot.

Satan gave it to her so that Yuki can still use summoning magic in times of need since she lost her magic abilities when she arrived at Twisted Wonderland.

Janitor Arc Prologue

What's underneath that thick leather RAD coat lolol...I swear seeing the uniform looks so hot (in terms of heat lol)) to wear.

Yuki has no extra casual clothes when she arrived in Twisted Wonderland and being in a world with an actual sun and the fact she was hired as the janitor by Crowley, she got no choice but to roll up her sleeves and clean.

She had that red scar thingie from RAD's uniform to be used to tie her hair since she be cleaning.

This can be her casual clothes at her first few days in NRC.

CASUAL CLOTHES IN THE DEVILDOM

The Devildom is a cold place so she always wear long sleeves and skirt. Didn't draw it but she also had her boots and black leggings

Witch Hat

Yuki owns a blue witch hat when she took a part time job in Akuber.

Solomon's Coat //gasp

Solomon gave one of his extra coats and insisted that it's a uniform to symbolize that they're student and mentor even though they're both exchange students in the Devildom.

Yuki would wear the coat during their study sessions and going outside. She doesn't mind matching clothes with Solomon despite the brothers' protests at first.

I also drew this cuz sheep mc is so cute and I'm surprised Grim is like 2'2... I wanted to draw Grim but I can't make him cute so need more practice behind the scenes lol

#concept art #obey me headcanon #obey me mc #twst yuu #twst oc

[vintage-bentley]

Aw tumblr killed an old ask about nanny Crowley and my response…but because I had Things To Say I want to make a post lol

Anon made the AMAZING point that it’s weird that nanny Crowley is considered good gender representation, because it’s literally a man disguising himself as a woman to gain access to and “corrupt” a child. Which is exactly the stereotype that trans activists fight so hard against.

And I never thought about it that way, but it’s so true. And I firmly believe that if a woman had written this, she’d have been absolutely vilified for it. It would’ve been considered a metaphor for “TERF views”. But since Gaiman is a man, everything he does is going to be interpreted favourably—as we’ve seen with nanny Crowley. It’s pretty obvious to me that this is just a case of a straight man (who has a history of writing homophobic jokes into the story in question) wanting to write a “man in a dress” joke. He’s said that wasn’t his intention, but he only said that after receiving praise. He just got lucky that people chose to interpret it that way, because his fans are incredibly loyal ass-kissers.

Anon also said it’s odd that people tend to interpret nanny Crowley as actually being a woman despite him just crossdressing and still being played by a male actor (when technically, he could’ve changed into a woman if so desired), and I agree. It really goes to show how embedded gender roles/stereotypes are in the minds of so many fans, that they can’t seem to separate gender from clothes. Crowley dressed a certain way, so he must’ve changed his gender/sex to match. It’s ridiculous! Clothes are just clothes!

It’s funny to be that despite Crowley still clearly being male during this scene (which was the intended joke, unfortunately, that straight normie audiences pick up on in my experience watching with my family), the fandom insists that he changed into a woman (never mind that they apparently believe males can be women, yet in order to see Crowley as a woman they give him a female body). And then they usually proceed to fetishise nanny Crowley.

It’s even worse when they make a point of how irresistible Aziraphale apparently finds female Crowley. Because they just cannot stand the thought of a gay character and must represent heterosexuality, the notoriously underrepresented sexuality.

#pressed post and the app crashed lol #my ramblings #asks #anon

[eisforeidolon]

(includes some spoilers for Good Omens) I wonder how hellers are gonna react when the ineffable husbands (every) and dance and are canon tomorrow, because hellers have been awful to that fandom, spoiling things and comparing Crowley and Aziraphale to destiel and nov 5th when our characters and angel are actually canon. Its gonna be hilarous to see their meltdown when we get a k**s they desperately wanted for Dean and Cas lol They lose every single day

Hellers do have a certain tendency to both insist literally every other fictional relationship is just a pale imitation/parallel of their totes amazing so canon ship ... and also whine and cry about how they were robbed and deserved it more when any other fan-popular fictional ship gets actual canon content.

And yeah, they've already been assholes to GO fandom, because even without any future canon content? Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship is the center of that canon and those two characters' stories in a way they desperately envy and tried to magically meta into existence for Dean and Castiel - despite everything about SPN canon and those two characters' stories. So of course they're going to take the new installment of GO canon as rubbing salt in their "wounds" and rail about the ebil CW all over again. Doing otherwise would necessitate finally realizing that watching a show for something it was never about instead of going off to find a canon they'd actually like was their own mistake, not some grievous injustice perpetrated against them.

#askboxery #anonymous #destiehllers #not keeping up with the speculation so #potential #Good omens spoilers

[avistella]

Do you have a profile for your twst mc? They look super cute!! And I love your art-style! A little bit of a tangent here but,, I wanted to come out and say, your writing for feh in your previous blog. I didn’t have a tumblr account back then but I do now, and I want to say that I absolutely adored your writing for the fandom. The passion in your pieces, it was amazing to read everything. I during that time was flitting in and out of the fandom and honestly wasn’t in the best head-spaces then. But now I’m back in FEH hell :,) You and so many authors on this site inspired me to write fanfics and pieces. So, thank you for writing, and don’t feel bad for indulging yourself! It’s your blog, do what makes you happy at your own pace. Thank you Avi for everything you do truly. Even if you didn’t realize it, you helped me go through tough times. ❦

Ahhh, you're so sweet, thank you so much for the kind words! I'm really happy that my works were able to help you through tough times and that they inspired you to create content yourself. ;;

Speaking of FEH, I do have more FEH fics in my backlog that I plan to upload!! It's just that I'm trying to finish up some overdue writing trades before I do so because it just doesn't feel "fair"(?) asdfhjkl;

As for my twst MC! I technically have a profile for her; I just haven't written it down yet LOL. But I do plan on sharing it once I do! In the meantime!

Her name's Lunaliya, but she's usually just called "Luna" or "Liya" by the other students. She's an adult and absolutely horrified at the fact that she has to go through high school all over again. She and Grim are considered "one student", but her role is moreso of Grim's supervisor than an actual student since she herself can't use magic. (Think of her role as something like Ortho to Idia; he isn't technically a student, but he's still allowed on the premises and participate in events (and sometimes classes, whenever possible))

When she first arrived at NRC, at orientation, almost everybody (except for those with keen insight and/ or sense of smell (so like, Jack, Leona, the tweels, etc.) believed she was male since you have cute and pretty boys like Epel who often gets mistaken as a girl. After she gets accepted as a "student" alongside Grim, however, Crowley called a meeting to the housewardens and vice housewardens to explain that due to certain circumstances he could not disclose, she would be attending the school despite the school being exclusive to just boys. For a while, she attended the school with the standard uniform with pants, but after seeing how the other students took "creative liberties" with their uniforms, she insisted to Crowley that she be allowed to wear a skirt as she finds it more comfortable.

Her relationship with the students are mostly platonic or familial. She has a few queerplatonic relationships (like with Silver, Lilia, and the tweels), but she's especially close with the tweels (Jade, in particular). She jokingly calls herself NRC's "unpaid therapist". She says it a joke, but she really does feel like it sometimes. She isn't too bothered; she's happy to help the other students, but she has her own emotional baggage.

I have more to say about her, but I'll leave it for another time bc I realize this is getting long asdfhjklasfj;

Thank you very much for the ask!!

#avisanswers #sherbet-shark

[brightstrangeworld]

i'm writing a fic that's a little gay and i think it's pretty cool. i'm the slowest writer ever though so be patient with me.

Best Kept Secret (WIP, 3/10 chapters so far)

Rated E, pairing Aziraphale/Crowley, no major content warnings.

i'm a sucker for the trope of a person telling a lie out of necessity but ending up in over their head with it. there's also a lot of sex in it.

progress updates under the cut.

Feb 2: lol fuck

Dec 30: hey elliot why are you starting chapter 7 instead of working on 4. hey elliot why are you starting chapter 7 instead of working on 4.

Dec 25: *laughs evilly*

Dec 19: mental breakdown hours so

Dec 14: it's now "hating myself bc i haven't written in over a week" hours and also feeling like i should be writing right now despite the fact that i'm very unwell from booster side-effects. emotional brain thinks body not working isn't an excuse for not doing mental work despite logic brain's insistence otherwise.

Dec 4: making actual decent progress but help i am suffering i don't know how fancy restaurants work. how many forks are there?? do you get a menu, or is it so fancy that they expect you to know the lore going in? sex is so much easier to write than this.

Nov 29: one of my deadlines is out of the way, so i'll have more time for this now. hopefully all of the other ideas competing for space in my brain won't overpower it too much. also, this lol. credit to @/ao3commentoftheday

Nov 22: progress is... happening. slowly. i know it's been more than a month since i've updated but it's been a heck of a month. i had a number of busy things and seasonal depression has been kicking my ass. i also have a couple of upcoming deadlines for things that will take priority. but i'm making progress slowly but surely!

#good omens #good omens fanfiction #ineffable husbands #aziraphale x crowley

[twstdreams]

I've loved your non-romantic/platonic content that you've done so far! Adding on to that list, could I please request a short story surrounding MC, Ace, and Deuce? An accident occurs which ends in MC turning into a little kid and now it's up to the two boys to put their differences aside and babysit their friend until she's back to normal. Girl pronouns plz! Lol I can only imagine the chaos that would ensue. If you don't feel comfortable with this ask you can skip it! Thx for reading :)

I am always up for platonic content and shenanigans! Long story, so the rest is under the cut!

Warning: Minor spoilers for side stories (briefly alluded to)

Length: ~2.3K

“It’s this one!” Deuce declares with unfounded confidence.

“No, it’s not!” Ace rebuttals despite not making it past page 10 in his textbook.

“It’s mine!” Grimm shouts even though he most definitely does not understand the experiment at hand. 

The magicless student can only sigh. Deuce and Ace suck at potions. So when the two bicker about what to add to their cauldron, the prefect doesn’t even blink an eye. Deuce mispronounces an ingredient, Ace corrects him, but neither are even talking about the right thing. She can practically sense Crewel’s glare despite her eyes remaining on the cauldron, cautiously waiting for bubbles to appear so she could add the indigo milk cap mushroom. 

What is added next to her cauldron is not the mushroom in her hand but a random root Grimm throws in. In Deuce’s haste to catch the gremlin, he spills over his own cauldron and some of their potion spills into hers.

“What are you doing?” she asks, but it’s too late. The mixture in her cauldron is boiling profusely and suddenly envelopes her in a cloud of smoke.

“Funya! MC, are you okay?” Grim inquires. Deuce and Ace also call out her name but there is no response. When the smoke clears, everyone in the room is left speechless.

The potential beast tamer hasn’t moved but an inch but she’s at least two feet shorter and with rounder cheeks and wide eyes. 

“WHAT?” she screeches in disbelief, suddenly too short to even reach the cauldron, “Fix this!” 

And this is how the group’s long catastrophic day begins.

Adventure 1: The beginning

“What?!” Grim shouts. If looks could kill, Crewel’s glare would have toasted the monster.

“Yes, it is hard to predict when MC will return to normal because you carelessly threw together that potion. It should wear off in a day, but there’s no guarantee,” the teacher explains through gritted teeth. The bell rings but the quartet barely registers it.

“Go to the headmaster! It’s not my problem anymore,” Crewel declares. 

Unfortunately, as most meetings with the headmaster are, the conversation is fruitless.

“Hah? We’re supposed to babysit her?” Ace asks.

“Yes! It’s your fault, is it not? Take care of her until the spell wears off,” Crowley declares.

“Isn’t there any way to break the spell?” Deuce inquires while nervously glancing towards MC.

“It’s hard to tell because you added in unknown amounts of various ingredients,” Crowley answers before muttering, “It takes too much time! I need to know what happens next in my novel.”

“Tch, what a lazy adult,” MC comments with a bored expression. She figured this would happen. She can’t even recall a moment when the headmaster had actually been helpful.

“What did you say?” Crowley demands. Deuce immediately picks up MC and heads for the door.

“Nothing! We’ll take care of her! See you later headmaster!” Ace explains while the two boys dash out of the office. They book it out of the hallway and then set her down on the ground.

“Hey! What was that about? It’s usually Grim saying stuff that gets us in trouble, not you,” Ace comments.

“Don’t tell me…Now she acts like a little kid too?” Deuce wonders.

Adventure 2: Stranger Danger

“Oh? Ramshackle prefect, you seem to be caught in quite the predicament.” MC glares at the Octavinelle dorm leader in return. Ace and Deuce are in the midst of calling Cater and Trey to ask for advice, giving Azul the perfect opportunity to approach her.

“I have an offer for you,” the second year begins.

“No.” MC is firm in her answer and has no intention of making any deals.

“Are you sure? I treat children well,” Azul adds but it only results in her frowning. There’s suddenly a glimmer in her eyes but before Azul can deduce what it means, MC begins shouting.

“STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!”

“Stop that!” Azul insists but his wide eyes give away his flustered state. With a smile that looks a little too much like Chenya’s, MC continues her call for help. Soon enough, Deuce and Ace rush to her side.

“Stranger? That’s Prefect Azul! Have you forgotten him?” Deuce inquires with a look of concern. MC decides this is the perfect time to practice her puppy eyes and simply looks up at Deuce, wide eyes and with a pout.

Azul silently admits defeat as he forms a tight-lipped smile accompanied by some false pleasantries before exiting the area. 

“I’m hungry!” she announces before anyone can question her further. 

“Yes! Let’s go eat!” Grim agrees.

Adventure 3: Sweet Dreams

Getting lunch is a surprisingly painless affair. Though Night Raven College students could be quite self-centred, even they balked at harming a little girl. MC easily orders her favourites before sitting with her friends, though she has to sit on her knees to be at a comfortable height compared to the table.

“Wow! It’s true!~” Cater chimes while taking a seat at the table.

“How are you feeling?” Trey asks.

“Okay! It’s kinda weird but at least it was easy to get lunch,” she replies while taking a bite of her food.

“Now you really look like my minion!” Grim declares. MC shoots the monster a glare but doesn’t give him a response.

“You’re actually a little kid, huh? So, what do you wanna do when you grow up?” Ace teases.

“I want to control all the ghosts and have an army,” MC answers nonchalantly as if she had been discussing the weather.

“What?” Trey asks, slightly taken aback. Wasn’t this the person who was gullible enough to think that oyster sauce went in tarts?

“A ghost army,” she repeats confidently.

“Anyway! Aren’t you lucky? You get all these handsome guys to help you today!” Cater interjects, not wanting to unpack why the prefect wanted an army of the dead. 

Her gaze scans the table before looking up at Cater, eyes wide and expression void of malice, and asks, “Where?”

Grim howls with laughter while the four Heartslabyul students try to recover from the blow to their ego. It’s definitely going to be a long day for them.

Adventure 4: Smiles and stares

“Hey wait!” MC whines. One disadvantage of becoming short is that her stride decreased accordingly, thus her struggles to keep up with her classmate’s pace.

“Just walk faster or we’ll be late for class!” Ace retorts, glancing up ahead to see how far away the next building is. 

“AHH!” Ace turns around to see MC a couple of meters behind him face-first in a patch of grass. 

“Uwah! Are you okay?” Grim asks while flying above the fallen girl. Ace groans at the predicament. Deuce ran ahead to warn the other teachers of MC’s unfortunate condition so the redhead was the only babysitter at the moment.

The situation only worsens when MC begins to sit up, knees scraped, eyes glistening with tears, brows furrowed, and lips pressed tightly together. Ace’s eyes widen at the sight.

“Please don’t cry,” he mutters under his breath before trying to think about how to soothe kids.

“Oh my, that was quite a fall. You’re okay now though, right?” Jade asks while extending a gloved hand. His face is calm, showing no signs of concerns or worry with only a placid smile to demonstrate any emotion. MC stares at his face, analyzing his expression for a few moments. After finding the answer to her unsaid question, she accepts his hand and quickly sniffles before nodding. 

Ace watches in amazement as all signs of pain and panic vanish from her expression. He decides not to question her mood change before ushering the prefect to their next class.

Adventure 5: What came first? The egg or the chicken?

“You have to!” Deuce insists.

“NO!” MC shouts back, sitting firmly on the ground. Deuce is startled by the force of her words but stands his ground.

“It’s for your own good! Kids need exercise!” Or at least that’s what Cater told him before going to light music club.

“You can’t move me an inch!” MC retorts.

“I’m older, you should respect your seniors,” Deuce adds, doing his best to retain some level of patience.

“At least I know where chickens come from!” she rebuttals and Deuce feels at a loss for words. It is certainly not honour student behaviour to yell at a young girl but the first year is at his limits. He came to NRC to learn about magic, not dealing with children!

“Let’s play tag,” Jack suggests. Being the only one with little siblings, he is quickly enlisted to help. While disappointed in Deuce and Ace’s carelessness, he didn’t want to risk MC’s safety by leaving her in their care. Thus making him a reluctant member of the babysitting team.

“Tag?” MC echoes before a bright smile forms on her face. “Can it be teams?”

“Sure,” Jack agrees nonchalantly. 

“Jack and I are on the same team! We get to chase Deuce and Ace!” she declares gleefully.

“Huh? I didn’t agree to this,” Ace interjects.

“We need even teams!” MC responds with puffed cheeks.

“Too bad, so sad!” Ace replies without remorse.

“This is our fault Ace. Plus we promised the headmaster to take care of her. As Heartslabyul students and men, we can’t go back on our words!” Deuce declares. Jack’s firm gaze and Deuce’s blazing spirit give little room for negotiation and Ace sighs in defeat. Ace really does hate alchemy class from the bottom of his heart.

Adventure 6: Idiots, all of them

MC closes her eyes and enjoys the breeze while resting. Deuce and Jack had gone to the cafeteria to get drinks for everyone after several rounds of tag while Ace lay on the ground to catch his breath. It was quite entertaining to see the fastest first years engage in a game of tag and even more fun to watch Ace try to avoid his inevitable fate. Agile as he was, Ace couldn’t run fast enough to outdo Jack with his insane stamina and speed. She giggles at the memory.

“Bonjour petite princesse!” Rook looks down at the little girl with a shining smile. Her eyes snap open and follow the source of the cheerful voice. 

“Isn’t it delightful to see a new side to your friends? Like escorting someone on their first dance, like watching a lazy lion transform into a beast for the sake of the hunt, like observing night flox bloom under a full moon!” Rook beams but MC merely shrugs in response.

“Yeah but I’ve also seen Ace fall off his broom, Deuce compliment plants, and Jack mistake onions for a chemical leak.” 

“Oh? Is it not like having several princes tend to you?” he inquires. 

She scrunches her nose in thought before replying, “If my prince got stuck in a tree and I had to go save him.”

“Dear me, and I thought you were une petite princesse mignonne [1]! Perhaps that was a misunderstanding,” Rook remarks though he doesn’t seem displeased with the discovery.

Adventure 7: Mandatory nap

“Let’s go to the infirmary,” Ace suggests, “MC needs a nap and it’s the closest building with beds.”

“I’m the one that needs a nap?” she asks while side-eyeing her tired friend.

“She hasn’t even run for 3 hours,” Jack comments.

“Kids need naps! Plus, who knows what the side-effects of the potion are?” Ace adds, “We shouldn’t take any chances with her health.”

“You do need proper sleep to grow strong!” Deuce concurs.

“Sure, sure,” she concedes. When they arrive at the infirmary, there is no staff in sight. Ace guides her to a bed with an expectant smile.

“Well, go to sleep now!” Ace announces.

“It doesn’t work like that. I’m not sleepy,” she responds.

“Just lie in bed and close your eyes!” Ace insists with a huff.

“Shut up. You’re so noisy,” a voice growls. Leona appears on the other side of a room divider. Jack lets out a sigh, disappointed but not surprised by his dorm leader.

“I was having such a nice nap and now I’m… hah?” His sentence trails off as he eyes the little girl before him.

“Well,” you launch into an explanation of what happened, Leona shooting a judgemental look towards Deuce and Ace midway, before concluding, “It should wear off by the end of the day.”

“Tch, what an annoyance. I’m going back to sleep, don’t be loud,” Leona warns before flopping back onto the bed.

“How do you fall asleep so fast?” MC inquires. Leona glares at her, lips pressed together to form a thin line, but he lets any threats die in his throat.

“It’s nap time. Count sheep like a good herbivore until you fall asleep,” he instructs before turning his back towards the group. More than she’d like to admit, her small body requires rest and what better excuse than this? Besides, it’s not like magical history homework was particularly appealing, so she plops onto the bed to rest.

“I’m exhausted. Taking care of kids is tiring,” Ace says before falling onto another bed.

“It’s been a long day. I’m glad MC is okay, though. Haaah…I’m sleepy,” Deuce murmurs before resting on a different bed. Jack doesn’t comment but quietly begins his homework while keeping watchful eye on the little girl, not that he’d admit it if asked.

Adventure 8: The End. For now, anyway

She stretches after waking up, pleased to find her body back to its normal size. Ace snores lightly, Deuce’s mouth is agape, and Leona is nowhere to be found.

“Are you feeling okay?” Jack asks.

“Yeah, I actually feel pretty good!” Their conversation awakens their friends.

“You’re finally back to normal! I’m relieved,” Deuce interjects.

“You’re a lot of work for a minion, ya know? You’re lucky I’m so great,” Grim comments.

“That was a pain! You owe me big time!” Ace adds. MC shakes her head and wonders if she has the greatest or most chaotic friends.

[1] une petite princesse mignonne = a cute little princess

#writing Rook and Deuce are hard #Rook is so extra #and Deuce's speech pattern is something I'm not used to #hope you enjoy #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #deuce spade #ace trappola #leona kingscholar #jack howl #rook hunt #cater diamond #trey clover #wow I cannot believe this is 2K

[mattzerella-sticks]

metamorphosis

Chapter 1 (ao3)

Prologue (ao3) (tumblr)

What if, when Jack was born, he stayed a baby?

A retelling of season 13, with a few key differences.

No planned schedule, will update when I finish chapters lol

Chapter 1 - Dean I

           “Cas?”

           Dean waited, watching Cas’s lips. He waited for his name to be spoken, said in that same mixture of fondness and exasperation and gravel that ticked the tempo of his heart up a notch. He waited for his angel to smile, then tell Dean that he’s fine; that it wasn’t more than a scratch, that he’s still here.

           Any minute now.

           “…Cas?” Dean’s voice sounded scratchy, raw, like a needle ripped through a spinning record. He blinked back his tears, embarrassed, because Cas might wake soon and see him break, see him not be strong enough. His gaze broke from Cas’s bluing lips, staring at the starless sky above. He saw night begin its transition to early morning, a sun sliver dipping into the horizon, and wondered how long Cas will play with him like this. How long will Cas pretend to lie there? How long will Cas insist that he’s –

           “Cas!” Even with the extra help from gravity, Dean couldn’t stop the pinprick tears tracing their way down to his ears, wetness setting his skin aflame. He choked on a sob, the rubber band of his body snapping and recoiling into itself. His shoulders shook. He squeezed tight to his stomach. Dean closed his eyes, but inside that shuttered darkness was Cas, emerging from the portal. Cas with the blade in his hand. Cas with a blade, poking out his chest. “Oh… oh, God…”

           He’s really gone. He’s gone and Dean hurt. Dean hurt so much.

           Dean cracked one eye open, then another. In his periphery, he saw the tips of Cas’s limp fingers lying in the dirt along with the rest of his body.

           It was something he has wanted to do for some time now. Dean noticed what happens halfway into its journey, his trembling hand hovering over Cas’s. He lowered it cautiously. When there’s barely an inch of space separating his middle finger from Cas’s knuckles, Dean stopped. Dean couldn’t close that final gap. He stared at the emptiness between them, small but terrifyingly infinite, and was frozen in terror.

           “Dean!”

           Sam’s call stirred him from that horrid trance, urgency reminding Dean of all else that happened. Of Crowley’s sacrifice, of the portal closing, of mom on the other side; those events crashed into him like a terrible wave, washing him out into a roaring sea that denied him any sense or reason. Standing, legs ready to give out on him at any moment, Dean stumbled towards where he last heard his brother.

           He forgot about the steps. Sam caught him, guiding him past the threshold and into the cabin with lumbering haste. Dean’s vision returned to him soon, though. He drew Sam further to his side, for a loose hug, then shoved his brother’s oafish frame off of him. Dean supported himself using the wall instead. “What?” he asked, growling, “What is it?”

           Sam tried to speak but got cutoff by a shrill cry coming from another room. Sam shrugged, jerking his head to where, Dean guesses, the crying originated. He’d also take a stab at who’s responsible for crying, too.

           Kelly’s son. Lucifer’s son. The whole damned reason Dean’s life lay shattered in the clearing out back.

           Hearing those whines and sobs rattle the cabin’s chilly silence helped harden what remained of his heart, enough so that the baby’s shrieking echoed in the hollow chambers of Dean’s chest. It made what he must ask next much easier. “You didn’t kill him yet?”

           Sam visibly startled, jaw clenched that familiar way Dean knows meant an argument brewed within; his brother’s puppy dog features deceived, hiding his true feelings. Again, as Sam readied to speak, the baby took his cue and interrupted with a damning wail. Sam pressed his lips into a thin, mangled line while he waited his turn.

           A minute passed, and it’s doubtful the little guy would lose steam soon. Dean sighed. He pushed off the wall, passing Sam as he followed the noisy little bastard. Sam stayed right behind him, heavy footsteps and chiding tone mixing with the crying to shred Dean’s nerves into oblivion. “You are not doing this, Dean,” Sam hissed, tugging on his elbow, “we need to talk about it first –“

           “Who can talk over all this racket!” He wrenched his arm free, storming into the baby’s nursery while Sam dawdled under the doorframe. Their entrance meant little to the newborn, who continued crying despite their entrance. “And I’m not killing him –“ he kept his yet stored in the barrel of his mouth, unfired, conscious of how it will be received in the moment – “gonna shut him up for a while, s’all…” Dean punctuated his claim by grabbing the baby, Jack if the painted name on the crib meant anything, and tucking him into the crook of his arm. He bounced him like he did Sam decades ago, like he would for any normal baby, cooing sweet nothing that tumbled out of him as if they were sand in a broken hourglass, shards mixed within. Dean spied a rocking chair in the corner and, with Sam’s piercing gaze studying him, Dean collapsed into it.

           That seemed to work. Dean’s gentle rocking, paired with a hummed lullaby cherrypicked from his past, put the hellion in his arms at ease. Jack stared up, transfixed by what Dean guessed is the tall lamp casting a gentle glow on them both; a lamp Sam, now in the room and by his side, flicked on after Dean sat down. It must be the center of his focus, because Dean wouldn’t believe the baby looked at him like he did; like he’s a bright and beautiful thing, deserving of attention, of being the center of his known universe. He didn’t want that, especially from him.

           Dean swallowed a curse and ended their contest, sure if he looked into the baby’s eyes any longer, he would damn the consequences and wring the life from this tiny body nestled in his hands. He waited for Jack’s fit to tamper lower and lower, rising only after a moment of uninterrupted silence. Dean carried Jack back, returning him to his crib. He added another mistake into the column of ever-increasing errors and glanced at Lucifer’s kid a final time. He examined him, searching for little horns or a tail or tattoos of sixes; he found nothing. Nothing that proved he’s more than a child, innocent and carefree.

           Sam hung by his shoulder, buzzing halo bothersome in Dean’s ear. “I think he likes you.”

           Dean huffed under breath, “I wish I could say the same.”

           He left. Sam trailed in his wake; tread heavy from being constipated with a smug righteousness Dean dreaded will be shat all over him when Sam had the chance. He was silent until the kitchen, then Sam struck. “His mother just died, Dean.”

           Dean shrugged, “So did ours.” He expected that to feel weird saying, but it hadn’t. Sam gaped at him, like it had. Maybe Dean’s in shock. Maybe he was too used to having a dead mom. Dean carried on regardless. “If you think a sob story’s gonna convince me of anything, try hitting me when the kids got enough pages to fill a book larger than Moby Dick’s, or ours. Right now, he’s a table of contents and not much else.”

           “Exactly,” Sam needled, poking Dean’s chest. Dean swat him away with the refrigerator door, creating a makeshift barrier to protect himself from Sam’s crusade. He dug around for something to drink, something boozy, as Sam prattled. “Look, Dean, we… I know our thing is – our thing is killing monsters but, Dean, he’s a baby. He – he didn’t do anything –“

           “He was conceived,” Dean said, “that’s enough for me.” His groping fingers pushed aside the carton of milk for a third time; he still couldn’t find the beer.

           “That wasn’t his fault.” Sam rested his hand over Dean’s where it rested on the refrigerator door, pleading for Dean to look at him by touch alone. Dean relented, darting his eyes for a fleeting glance. Sam’s brows were drawn in like a steep hill, and he appeared absolutely ghastly because of the refrigerator’s light. Dean fell back to his mission. “Lucifer… he set this in motion, and we’ve dealt with him.”

           “And what did it cost us?”

           Sam sighed. “Everyone we lost knew what this was about,” he told Dean, “knew how it might end. They were ready to risk their lives for this.”

           “We were here to take down Lucifer, end of story,” Dean spat, knocking items onto the floor in his fervor. He tore through like a whirlwind, throwing food everywhere. Eggs, lettuce, ketchup and pickles – no beer though. Dammit. “And with the kid kicking, we haven’t even finished our mission.”

           “Jack is not Lucifer!” Sam squeezed Dean’s wrist, begging for more attention. Dean’s spiteful, rigid glare burned a hole in the back of the fridge. He refused to move even an inch. “He’s a baby, and we… we kill monsters. We kill the ones who have no chance of being saved. He was just born, Dean. He had no choice in that.”

           “Who’s to say that he won’t choose to be a monster, once he’s old enough?”

           Sam strangled his wrist, now, Dean’s fingers numbing because of his brother’s impassioned grip. “We’ll make sure. We’ll raise him right.”

           This drew Dean out of the refrigerator. “We?” he laughed, bitterness churning in his gut. “We, really? You think…” Dean didn’t finish, speechless at the insanity Sam presented. He and Sam, raising Lucifer’s kid? He and Sam, sheltering the baby who ruined their lives? He and Sam… “I hate to break it to you, Sammy,” he continued, his voice returning, “but this ain’t the nineties. We can’t have it all, clearly. And we are not taking that kid in like some muddy stray.”

           “Cas wanted to raise him.”

           Dean gagged. The toxic rush of seconds ago disappeared, spilling out from the seam Sam pulled loose.

           Sam, at least, was aware enough to briefly mime an apology. His face contorted into a pained expression, exaggerated to better mangle his earlier fury. However, that’s smoothed and replaced with sterner features as he detached himself from his words, and the ugliness that they inspired. He stood tall, committed to the outburst, and from the curl of his scowl, Dean wouldn’t expect him to take back what’s been said. It will linger like the other ghosts.

           If that was how he wanted to do this.

           “Sure,” Dean agreed, “and that got him what, exactly?” He slammed the refrigerator door, startling both of them and the baby. Jack’s wailing picked up where he left off, although sharper and more annoying. Dean pushed into Sam, instinct urging him to soothe like he did earlier. Dean stopped himself, hesitating. He spun on his heel, leaving where he came in.

           Sam shouted, “You can’t just run away Dean!”

           “I’m getting some air, is all!” he yelled back, ripping the door off its hinges in his haste to leave.

           A terrifying gust rammed into him almost immediately, giving him the very air he craved. Then, a second wind blows in the opposite direction; stealing his breath as his gaze landed on the body of his angel, immobile, with black skid marks in a shoddy recreation of what might be wings splayed beside him like oddly bent branches. Dean blindly descended, too focused with Cas’s form than the stairs. When his feet reached solid, uneven ground, Dean slowed to a glacial pace. Cas didn’t react.

           Dean tried not to, too. Hand at his cheek, wiping some more stray tears, Dean failed.

           He ripped himself away, jogging from the backyard space towards the front where his true escape was. Dean white knuckled his keys, jagged teeth biting into the palm of his hand. Pain kept him from spiraling, from thinking, from staying there. And when he couldn’t use pain, key nestled in the ignition instead of his hand, Dean had the next best thing – open roads.

           The engine roared, overpowering the blood rushing past his ears. Dean demolished the speed limit easily, bulleting across the asphalt, pedal his trigger. It’s early enough he needn’t worry about highway patrolmen or wayward pedestrians. He drove fast, loose, and recklessly. Fuck Vin Diesel, Dean thought. Vin had nothing on him.

           Kelly’s cabin was a blurry spot in his rearview mirror, a speck he might scratch off with his nail if he pleased. Trees became indistinguishable from each other. Not that it mattered, Dean’s tunnel vision blocking his periphery. His eyes remained fixed ahead of him, uncharacteristically so. It took most his focus to keep like that, hands cramping on the wheel from throttling it. He counted dash after dash and tallied potholes as he hit them, stuffing his mind with senseless figures other than the lone one he abandoned in the field.

           Soon, Dean reached a nearby town. The greenery became sparser, leaves and wood replaced by buildings and city blocks and lampposts and streetlights. He hit his first light, a blip of red flashing for attention. Thoughtlessly, Dean flattened his foot against the brake; Baby’s tires squealing as she fought momentum. Dean knocked against his dashboard from the force, falling back only after his car fully stopped. He couldn’t see the streetlight dangling above. Dean knew he sat over the line, his Baby’s hood hanging in the intersection, asking for an accident.

           A second later, and what he was driving from caught up to him.

           Dean gasped, curling in on himself, hands glued to the wheel. His body seized with sobs that bruise, each tremor punching his gut. He used what little strength he had and glanced at his reflection. That speck on his rearview, that he foolishly clawed at, didn’t disappear; it was caught in his bloodshot eyes.

           He couldn’t continue driving like this.

           Red light, green light, it didn’t matter now. Dean crawled along to the nearest lot that belonged to a tacky chain eatery. Parking inside, Dean threw his car door open and spilled free of his Baby. He fell to his knees, hissing, denim ripping on impact and gravel scratching his skin. Dean staggered to his feet. Blood trickled down his leg from the open wound on his knee. He walked forward, dazed, while Baby idled at an angle, keys trapped in her ignition. If it were later in the day, someone might steal her. If Dean were acting like himself, he might care.

           He didn’t go far. Dean slowed as he approached the fast-food joint, stopping inches from the backdoor. His bottom lip wobbled, Dean raking his hair with twitching fingers. He stared at the door, at the wooden sign hanging by a single, rusted nail. It depicted a stereotypical pirate, with hat, beard, and eyepatch, painted on a blue background and encircled by cartoonish rope that framed this pirate’s face along with an oblong addition underneath of the word ‘BUCCANEERS’. The pirate glared ahead, at some far point, as if Dean weren’t there blocking it.

           But he was. Dean was here, while everyone else – everyone he cared about…

           “Why me?” he muttered, “Why’s it always… why do I have to deal with it, with the after, with picking up the pieces of someone else’s mess.” Dean growled, head bowed, eyes unflinchingly locked with the pirate’s. “Mom… Crowley… Ca” – he stuttered on his name, wounds still too fresh – “you’re gonna bring him back. You’re gonna bring them all back. After everything I’ve done for this shithole, that I’ve been through, it’s the least that I’m owed. I deserve to… I – I don’t deserve this.”

           The pirate ignored his pleas, it couldn’t answer him. And Chuck, apparently, wouldn’t answer him.

           “…Okay.”

           Dean launched himself at the pirate, picturing a brown beard instead of black, and a grayish blue eye where a black one was painted. He smashed it with one punch, face splintering and spraying everywhere. Dean continued wrecking it, nearly destroying the door in his fury. Aiming a final blow, Dean hit the sign off the nail and sent it flying from view.

           Exhausted, knuckles as bloody as his knee, Dean collapsed near the stacked crates and leaning pallets.

           A shudder traveled across his body, from the top of his head, dragged along each vertebra like a sharp, clawed finger, and finally making his legs seize and stretch out in front of him. Dean vacuumed in a deep breath, chest ballooning to contain it. He won’t release it willingly.

           “Dude…”

           Coughing, Dean glanced up at some teenager standing nearby, gaping at the scene. He wore a large brown jacket a shade lighter than his skin over a deep blue polo that matches the visor currently worn like a headband, so his bangs wouldn’t  his face. A ring of keys dangled in his hands. Keys that, Dean guessed, were for opening the very door he pummeled as if it were a punching bag.

           “Hey, man,” the teen asked, glancing between Dean and the wrecked door, “are you… like, good? Do I need to call someone?”

           A repairman. The teen’s manager. Neither would do Dean any good, but both will need to know about the damage he did to the property.

           Dean groaned, climbing to his feet. He swayed with the breeze, a lone willow in this blacktop clearing. Some of the blood from his knuckles drippled like morning dew would off its leaves. He advanced, the teen tensing as he moves closer. Their shoulders brushed, the younger of the two stumbling back a few inches, cowering in Dean’s presence. Dean thought he should say something, let him know there’s nothing to be afraid of.

           That felt like too much of a damned lie, so he caught the words in his throat and swallowed them down.

           He returned to his car, starting it like nothing happened, like his skin hadn’t torn and tears weren’t drying on his cheeks as he refused to wipe them off. Dean tapped the pedal and drove off. He drove the same path he took earlier, only in reverse. He drove to Kelly’s cabin, and all that waited for him there.

           Dean parked sloppily, again; however, pocketing his keys this time as he left Baby. He didn’t acknowledge the front door, shuffling into the backyard for another glimpse of Cas’s body.

           Cas was gone. His wings were still there, and Sam was, too.

           Sam dropped a stack of branches onto a large pile he must have begun gathering after Dean fled. He rubbed at his neck, steadily avoiding where Dean’s gaze was by looking at the pile. “I moved him,” he explained, “I figured we might as well start on the… on the pyres for him, and Kelly.” Sam paused. He grabbed a lone branch, snapping a twig from it. “I didn’t do anything else. Figured you would want to…”

           “Yeah.” Dean blinked, then imagined the shadows burnt into the ground rising and rising, flapping determinately, until they vanished. He blinked. Those wings hadn’t moved an inch.

           Dean headed into the cabin.

           He spied Cas’s body immediately, laid atop the kitchen table. Sam rearranged him during transit, closing his eyes and setting Cas’s arms at his sides. If he weren’t thinking about it constantly, weren’t reminded of Cas’s current state with every beat of his own heart, Dean might believe Cas was asleep. Or, at the very least, imitating it, since angels can’t sleep. They can’t eat. There’s a lot they can’t do. And Cas won’t ever not do any of that, not anymore.

           Sighing, Dean circled the table while tracing the edges of it with his fingertips. He reached the other side, where a gauzy pair of curtains hung. Dean swung his arm outward, going through the motions to free them. It’s quick work.

           Wrapping Cas with these curtains will take a lifetime.

            Dean started by lifting Cas’s head and slipping a strip underneath. He cradled him, unnaturally soft tufts of hair tickling his fingers. Holding Cas in such a manner encouraged further action, tempted Dean to do more. He succumbed to these voices, the fast few hours since they last sung weakened his resolve. Dean ran his bloodied knuckles across Cas’s face. He stained deathly pale skin red. He hissed, stubble like sandpaper against his cuts. He left no wrinkle untouched.

           Finally, Dean switched to his thumb and pressed it just below Cas’s lips.

           It’s maddening, touching Cas like this, like he always wanted. He dreamt of being able to for longer than he could remember. Daydreams and fantasies of Dean, curled into Cas’s side, leisurely and lovingly memorizing every inch of the other’s face. Those moments were always pretend, too human to ever be real, to expect from an angel like Cas. Now, as his thumb swept along the bow of Cas’s lips, Dean paid his respects to the thousands of imagined mornings and nights that would not be. Dean worshiped Cas in a way he never wanted to, but in the only way he’d ever be allowed to.

           “I’m sorry…” Dean placed a featherlight kiss to the corner of Cas’s mouth. Then, unable to bear looking at him, he wrapped the curtain over his face.

           He shrouded the rest of Cas’s body with military precision, robotically completing his ritual. Dean hovered at his side, tightly clutching the final knot in Cas’s wrappings. His head hung listlessly, the foundations of a prayer forming on his tongue. He gnashed his teeth together, smashing it, and the sentiment’s remains tumbled backwards. It ripped apart his insides like glass. The only person who would listen, who’d care, who might heal this hurt, couldn’t.

           Cas was –

           Dean let go, marching into the backyard. Silently Dean joined Sam, amassing wood in his stead while Sam assembled the pyres.

           Together, they completed their duties by sundown. It might have been sooner if Sam didn’t slack off to play nursemaid to Lucifer’s kid. He ran off at the slightest bit of static coming from the garish, incongruently colored baby monitor clipped onto his belt loop, dragging their duties out because of intermittent breaks. When they finally set Cas and Kelly on their respective pyres, the sky darkened to the same shade it was that they lost both of them.

           Dean handled the fire. He struck two matches from a box buried in a kitchen drawer, then tossed them into the kindling. Sam, meanwhile, held a very fussy baby that showed no respect for ceremony. His piercing shrieks rung out clearly, somehow amplified by the open space. And as Jack’s cries mixed with the roar and crackle of flames, along with Sam mindlessly grunting back in a desperate plea for Jack to stop, Dean gave in. He stole Jack from Sam, nestling the baby against his chest.

           His temper lessened while in Dean’s arms, and Jack soon quieted.

           Dean felt Sam’s stare on his profile once more, an uncomfortable heat much different than what radiated from the cremating bodies before them. He hated it, being gawked at like some zoo animal. Yet Dean refused to turn, to bark at Sam that this momentary lapse meant nothing.

           He’s only exhausted. Too tired to shutter the devastation on his face, every crack of Dean’s heart was on full display. He’s not in the mood to fight with Sam, either, aware he needed him more than he needed to lash out. He’s broken and couldn’t even manage the energy to toss Jack into the fires like he imagined himself doing.

           Instead, Dean embraced him. He watched the smoke of his angel’s body drift upwards, Cas leaving him for good, forever, and rested his chin against the small, soft head of Cas’s destroyer.

Tagged List:

@llamasdumpsterfire

#supernatural #spn #spn13 #dean winchester #castiel #destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #sam winchester #jack kline #baby jack kline #widower!dean #canononical character death #spn chapter fic

[cryptid-jack]

So, I had an idea today... and that idea involved Aziraphale having to basically go undercover as a human for his own protection against the Dominion Cassiel who Heaven sent to wreak bloody justice on the traitor after management’s attempt failed six months before.

Backed up against a wall and seeing no other alternative, Aziraphale pulls a Doctor Who (The Family of Blood episode in series 3 haha) and essentially seals everything he is as an angel into his ring, which he leaves behind for Crowley to find at his shop. This leaves him without his memories and under the impression that he’s a completely human librarian that just started a new job at the university and he goes about his new life none the wiser. Inconvenient to be sure, but essentially molding himself into a new person leaves Aziraphale not only nigh un-trackable by Cassiel, but technically an innocent, meaning she can’t lay a hand on him even if she does find him.

It’s a clever ploy, but conceived at the last second as it was, that leaves no time to tell Crowley, who arrives at the bookshop to find it empty with the exception of the ring he knows Aziraphale hasn’t taken off once in the entire history of their knowing one another... and no way to know what happened. It’s a horrifying realization, but the demon has no idea how to figure out where the angel has gone, so he turns to the only neutral occult party he knows for help: Anathema.

Needless to say the witch is surprised when he shows up unannounced on her doorstep in the middle of the night looking truly desperate and asking for help. When a basic scrying can’t reveal the angel’s location, she decides to do a more advanced one using his ring, but that takes time and a full moon, meaning Crowley has to linger around the cottage for the better part of a month (mostly as a snake) until she’s able to perform the spell.

Meanwhile, Aziraphale, currently under the impression that his name is, in fact, Alexander Zachariah Fell (friends call him Az... if he had any), settles into his new job and pokey little flat. It’s a pretty good set up, but he finds himself constantly plagued  by a vague sense of something missing, as well as an odd habit of running his thumb along his pinky finger, as if in search of a ring he doesn’t actually own.

Crowley and Anathema finally manage to track Aziraphale down, though it takes both of them a hot minute to spot him in the library and they both stare when they finally do. Gone is the short cropped white hair and the old fashioned suit, replaced by salt and pepper curls, modern (if not particularly fashionable) clothes, and a beard. It doesn’t take them long to realize that something is amiss when Aziraphale doesn’t react on seeing them, and they’re both horrified when they realize something is seriously wrong after talking to him and realizing he’s under the impression that he’s human.

They go back and forth on what to tell him, but Anathema eventually wins out when she insists that revealing everything to him, or trying to, might destabilizing whatever kind of magic Az is clearly under in a dangerous way. They have no idea why he’s like this, after all, so the witch goes back home to do research and Crowley decides to remain and keep an eye on his erstwhile angel.

He miracles his way into a lecturing gig at the University as an expert on history (he was there for most of it, so he figures that’s more than enough qualification) and spends a great deal of time in the library.

Crowley wasn’t certain what it’d be like spending time with an Aziraphale that didn’t know he was Aziraphale, but he expected it was going to be difficult. And it was. It was hard to look at someone you’d spent the better part of six thousand years with and see no recognition in their eyes... what he didn’t expect was to fall in love with him all over again.

In the six months since Armagedd-off, but before Az’s disappearance, the two had been slowly but surely opening up to one another, allowing each other closer in a way they’d never felt free to in the past. It was slow going, 6000 years of habit was not something easily broken, but it was happening.

Here, though, is an Aziraphale with all of the angel’s sharp wit, good sense of humor, and love of the world but none of the baggage that came from millennia of being Heaven’s agent on Earth. He’s still just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing and seeing him so easy and open, no longer fighting his own nature for the sake of what Heaven deemed was ‘right‘ was both beautiful and acutely painful to behold for the demon.

Crowley tries to keep his distance, and, when that fails, tries very hard just to be friends with the witty librarian... but he’s not at all prepared to contend with a human Aziraphale that comes to love him as much as ever, but with none of the angel’s self-imposed barriers to keep him from acting on his romantic inclinations.

The demon tries to pull away when he realizes what’s happened, but he’s reeled back in just as quickly against his better judgement (he IS a demon lol) and kisses Az after weeks of denying them both. The gesture means something, Alexander knows that even if he doesn’t understand what, and he knows he’s probably pushing the peculiar man he’s fallen head over heels for too far too fast but something in him keeps pushing him for more, more, more. It radiates out from his very marrow, powerful as the tide and older than the moon and it leaves them both gasping and tangled in the sheets of his bed without either of them knowing precisely how they’d gotten there.

Without realizing it, though, they’ve broken the protection that human anonymity granted Aziraphale, and it’s not long before Cassiel finds him and nearly kills him. Laying with demons, after all, is most certainly a sin.

Crowley saves Az when he topples from the tower the Dominion chased him up, though not without exposing himself for the demon he is, wings and all as he catches the man before he hits the ground. A desperate, bloody fight ensues and Cassiel is eventually defeated, leaving Crowley and Az uncertain as to where they stand, though at the very least, Anathema’s concern about Az’s mental stability should he be exposed to the truth is dispelled.

Back at Az’s flat, Crowley explains everything and the demon’s reluctance to love the man is finally explained. He’s worried, though, that maybe there IS no coming back for Aziraphale; he mourns at the thought and Az does his best to comfort him. Realizing he has no reason to keep it now, Crowley gives Az his ring back, and despite never having seen it before, something in the man recognizes it, and without thinking, he slips it onto the proper finger and...

Is suddenly himself again. Memories and power in tact, with the addition of those he’d made as a human. Aziraphale sweeps Crowley up and kisses him senseless and the Demon knows the moment their eyes meet that he recognizes him, really recognizes him, and it leaves him totally wrecked.

In the wake of it all, they move back to London and despite all the drama, Aziraphale’s time as a human has left him changed for the better. Gone is the habit of keeping the demon at arm’s length, and, at Crowley’s request, he even keeps the beard. They live together happily ever after... at least until the next time Heaven and Hell get some clever idea.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens ficlet #crowley #human aziraphale #wow that bonus ficlet wound up way longer than i meant for it to hah 8'D #Crowley would be COMPLETELY unprepared for a outright flirty Aziraphale #he'd be flustered amused and totally turned on lets be real ahaha #jolie arts #jolie writes

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #292

“dear god, let’s make this fucking clear: dear god, there’s nothing that i fear”

What internet browser do you use? Chrome. What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) Mom just grabs the Great Value jugs. Do you have a job? No. Are you full-time or part-time? N/A Are you watching TV right now? No. Or are you listening to music? Yeah, "Mr. Crowley" by Ozzy. Such a great song. Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? No. I would NOT survive in jail. When's your birthday? February 5th. I cannot fucking believe I'm almost 25. Thoughts on kids? Too impressionable for me. Even with my niece and nephew, I feel like every single word I say just like... stamps into their brains, and what if I say something that negatively affects them? I feel like it's my responsibility as an aunt to be a fountain of wisdom when I'm definitely not. I just get nervous around kids. Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents? I wouldn't call it a "punishment," but when I skinned the everliving fuck out of my knees and Mom was patching me up while I was just sobbing away, my dad literally roared "SHUT UP!" from my parents' bedroom, and it's stuck with me forever. Honestly, I think it may be a root in my extreme fear of men yelling. Worst punishment from Mom, probably this time where she smacked the shit outta my arm as a kid and left a clear handprint for a while. Are you the type who is completely against abortion? Why? No, I am firmly pro-choice, despite being pro-life most of my life. I don't feel like writing a moral essay, but basically, I absolutely cannot agree with forcing a woman to carry a human they don't want for whatever reason for nine fucking months, endure one of the most traumatically painful things known to man, and then properly and adequately care for that child. That is such a huge fucking responsibility that should be forced upon *nobody*. "But adoption!" Yeah, go tell that to the thousands of children waiting on you. This is leaning on exactly what I said I wouldn't do, so moving along. Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? "I’ve read some books that were phenomenal, but I wouldn’t necessarily go so far as to say that they 'changed my outlook on life'." <<<< This was Johnny Got His Gun for me. Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? No. What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered? I would fucking freak. Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette? No, but I honestly do want at least one, primarily with a deep black and then some nice grays and neutral colors. Do you own a tripod for your camera? Yes. Are your nails always painted? Quite the opposite. What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for? I honestly don't really decorate because I just don't have the motivation, but Halloween is the best. Were you popular in school? Nope. Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion? BANANAS, dark sodas (like Coke or Dr. Pepper), peanut butter can... It's hard for me to tell much now because I have chronic heartburn and am medicated for it. Works great, so I don't experience this much. Is there something you intend to buy in the near future? Yes. Once my tattoo is done (I'm setting the appointment the next time we leave the house, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH), what I have left is going towards Venus' new terrarium. She really needs a 40 gallon. Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? I was the art kid, and family still insist I should be an artist. What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have? Omg, Roman has so many. He nuzzles me all the time, will collapse into my hand to pet him, he insists on being the little spoon at bedtime (no, really), he literally tries to groom me with his teeth, licks my face... He is just a doll. My little buddy for sure. Now onto Venus. She loves to chill next to me in bed or find a cozy place under the covers, and omgggg does she love to slither around the bed doing the periscope thing. So curious. What's the screensaver on your computer? I don't have one. What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I am WEAK for nice shoulderblades/muscular shoulders ok. What’s the sexiest thing about a girl? I am an ass bitch and I will not hesitate to admit it ayyyyyeeeee. Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021? Nobody. Who was the last person to send you a message on social media? My sister Misty. She's planning to surprise Mom (her stepmom, anyway) by showing up in a few weeks with her fiance and all her kids she's never met but desperately wants to. My mom is the only "real mom" she's ever had, and she just feels so bad that she has a by now teenage daughter (among three other younger ones) that has never met her "grandmother." It's just an expensive and long trip, but Misty's finally called it enough and is just driving down here with everyone. Mom is going to fucking sob. ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? Nice timing for this, since her fiercely anti-mask bullshit is all I can focus on about her lately... but there are good things about her. She truly is a very loving, passionate woman that, just like me, feels deeply and expresses it. What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown? Does grimacing count from a sudden bodily pain? Have you smiled at any point during the last hour? Yeah. I'm watching the VOD of Arin Hanson playing Kingdom Hearts 2 for charity, and he went on a total fucking laughing fit. His laugh is so precious, so I just couldn't stop grinning. What was the last thing you consulted Google for? Ensuring "grimace" was the right word for my former expression, even though I was pretty positive it was correct... I don't know if anyone's noticed, but my English skills are degrading, particularly in spelling. It's concerning me. I was an English whiz my whole life up to now. My only guess is it's related to how godawful my memory is also declining. So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? No. When was the last time you were on a carousel? Probably not since I was a teenager being goofy with Jason or somebody. What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? I have a picture on my dA of a beautiful elephant walking RIGHT by its fence at the zoo. It was pretty amazing, considering just how incredibly immense their enclosure is. Have you ever played Halo? No, it's not my kinda game. Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine? Oh, I'm positive I've read sections while in waiting rooms of various places. When was the last time you had a pillow fight? I have no idea. Realistically it was probably w/ Jason since that sounds like some cute playfighting thing we'd do, but I don't remember a particular instance. Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: "Retail works. The horror stories my mom has on the daily is absolutely ridiculous. People can be so incredibly rude." <<<< I absolutely agree with this; what friends and strangers alike rant about is just depressing. Nobody, especially those working through a goddamn pandemic that's killing thousands, deserves the disrespect that comes their way. Have some goddamn decency and know half the issues you bring up to retail workers isn't even their damn fault. Ohhhh, I could rant about this. In your own words, define what the word sexy means. So you mean like, what I think is considered sexy, not just the general definition? If that's the case, uhhh. Self-confidence (but absolutely not arrogance) is very attractive to me as a bitch who lacks it entirely, as well as good manners, being outgoing, and just... charm. I don't quite know how to describe that "charm" other than I'm really drawn to people who are unique and happy with it and just seem to have an aura about them that feels good to be in. What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live? I'm going to look at this question as if you're asking about my state and not general location because 1.) there ain't shit here and 2.) I'd prefer to keep relatively where I live quiet on the Internet. Looked it up and apparently NC's biggest tourist bait is the Biltmore Estate. Never been there myself, but it'd be pretty dope. Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? I'm in my own home and pjs, who the fuck wears underwear with that criteria lmao. Are you any good at volleyball? NOOOOOOOOO. I went to a volleyball camp thing once when I was younger and that shit hurts the hell outta your hands. I didn't stay long. Have you ever had a water balloon fight? Why of course. Do you think some babies are ugly? Quite honestly, probably most, especially newborns. Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I do; going there was one of the most exciting possible things to me as a kiddo. Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? Possibly. I mean they sure are pretty successful and well-known. Do you love stuff-crusted pizza? Eh, it's not my preference, but I'll eat it. Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No, but I really should, given how dry my skin is. What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? I'd like to not think about this. Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Lol definitely not. I think at least one on my older channel hit 1k somehow???? It was a birthday gift I made for someone. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? lol I already have one there. At some point I'm getting it covered, though. Do you like Robert Frost poems? I do! Do you go to church every Sunday? I never do. Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year? No, I don't play that game. You want me or you don't, so I'm not wasting my time on your uncertainty or just our lack of stability for whatever reason. If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Absolutely writing. What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? ?????????????????? i don't?????????????? care???????????????? they're not my tits??????????????? What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I don't know. I avoid trying shit on like the plague. And then it ends up being too big/small. I wonder why. Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes? I've only ever fallen asleep naked once, and accidentally at that, so I really don't remember how I felt about it? Consciously though, I would feel very, very vulnerable so don't have plans to when I have my own place. Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone? HAHAHA Y'AAAAAALLLLLLL THIS WAS DEADASS THE ONLY LUCID DREAM I'VE EVER HAD LMAOOOOO Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? My short-term memory is absolutely atrocious, like to the point it seriously affects my ability to get shit done. You can give me something that needs to be done and I will forget in a heartbeat. Now, my long-term memory is astonishing. I can remember many things from my childhood in incredible detail. Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before? Did you need to have surgery for it? I've had a concussion or two. I can't remember which. I didn't need surgery. Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve? Yeah: chronic depression, crippling social anxiety, generalized anxiety, avoidant personality disorder (AvPD), obsessive compulsive disorder, PTSD, bipolar II, and I think that's it. My head's a mess and a half. What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? About to the small of my back; how it is now, which is pretty much shaved on the left and fades to near my chin on the right. I actually got it cut last month; we've gone to a family friend for years whose shop is just an extra building by her house and very rarely has more than two clients in it. We had masks on, of course. At what age did you start getting gray hairs, if you happen to have any? I don't have any. Somehow, given my stress level at all times, haha. What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it? It's too short to style. I don't use any products in it but obviously shampoo. Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? Probably my mom. I think she was in a rotten mood for one reason or another and just being snappy and generally rude. Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? We do; it's by choice, and it'd be immensely ignorant not to where we live considering it literally gets picked up with the other garbage. Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day? I've never tried carbonated water, and flavored water rarely works for me due to artificial sweeteners giving me beastly headaches. So I'll just take really cold, filtered water. Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? I had to call the ambulance for my mom right before her cancer was discovered because she was literally immobile and in ungodly pain. When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? At my old college, as the newspaper photographer, I took some artsy pics up there. I will probably forever worry that leaving school resulted in the biggest career opportunity slipping through my fingers through that newspaper. Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? I guess about the normal amount you'd see in the country. Some dangerous animals live here, sure, that's probably everywhere, but you very rarely see any. Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? For suicidal thoughts and one attempt, yes. Have you ever experienced a panic attack? Ahhhh, do I know those well. Thankfully, it's been a long time since I had an all-out panic attack. Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID? Nope. Well, besides being a vet, which I haven't wanted to be since I was a kid. Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? No. Because it's apparently a fuckin hoax or not as bad as the government wants us to think. Fucking cretins. Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree? Artificial. Real ones aren't worth the money nor mess. What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn? Caramel corn. Do you drink oat milk? No, but I'm interested in at least trying it. The dairy industry is absolutely repulsive if you look into it, and I'd love to do what I can to take as little part in it as possible... even though I am a dairy fiend. I seriously wish I could go vegan, I am just WAY too picky for it. Do you love thrifting? Oh fuck yes. I've been very few times in my life, but I'mm all about it. Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic? I do find it visually appealing; I like the flow of similar letter height. I never do it for "serious" things, but on places where it's "for the aesthetic," it's likely that's how I'll write something. Do you say “mood?” Way too much lmao. Do you own fairy lights? No, though I would like them if it wouldn't look stupid in my room. Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? ... I didn't know glass straws were a thing. I have a handful of metal ones though, but I always forget I have one in my purse when I go out... Have you made a TikTok? No. Do you own airpods? No. Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I don't believe in a planet's position or whatever having any effect on people. Do you make life choices based on astrology? Definitely not, considering I don't believe in it to begin with. How many pairs of converse shoes do you own? Maybe like, five? Number of jeans in your closet: Zero. What accent do you have? Not really any, but sometimes I sound kinda southern with specific words. Do you have a big butt? Yo I got a Hank Hill ass, so no. Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? In my past relationships, yes, I assigned our anniversary to memory. I don't really... know why, like it doesn't really matter how long you've been together, I just do. Have you graduated? From HS, yes. I dropped out of college three times lmao. Rihanna or Lady GaGa? Ohhh, not sure. Maybe GaGa, but both ladies have songs I love. "Disturbia" doess beat all of her songs, tho. The fuckin BEAT. Do you use fake eyelashes? Never tried 'em. Which was the last book that really captivated you? The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. What makeup brands do you use? I'm not loyal to any, really. I would be if I could afford expensive shit, but yeah, that ain't my life.

#survey #surveys #questions #questionnaire #lyrics: ''battle cry'' by blood on the dance floor

[the-real-anywolf]

Destiel Advent Calendar 2019

Title: An Avalanche Of Fluff

Tags: Established Destiel; Castiel’s Plushie Obsession; Buying on eBay Has Never Been So Much Fun; Fluff; Smut; Explicit Sexual Content; Astroglide Makes an Appearance; Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester; The Plushiepocalypse is Nigh; Battle of the Puppy Dog Eyes, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANKIE!!!

Summary: Even though he’s running out of space, Cas keeps adding to his plushie collection. When Dean buys him ‘just one more’, and Sam is nearly crushed by an avalanche of them, he stages an intervention. Cas might be as good at giving the puppy dog eyes as he is, but he will not be swayed… nope.

Written by: @anyreiart (anyrei), @eyesofatragedy67​ (Eyes_of_a_Tragedy) & @punk-is-notdead​ (tfw_cas)

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765409

Notes: *ahem* It's mugglerock's birthday, people. Let's celebrate! Every time you read the word plushies(1), take a shot, lol!

Any here: Happy Birthday, Frankie! ( @misspoogy ) Day 12 of our Advent calendar is our surprise fic for you! We love you so so so so much and wish you all the best for this day!

Trex here: Frankie, sorry not sorry for the sneak attack, but you're the bestest, and deserve all the plushies(2)! Happy Birthday, bb! Love you so mush! *throws Dean's pink panties at you*

Ruk here: Surprise!! *throws sparkly birthday confetti* Happy Birthday Frankie, we love you loads. Also sorry not sorry… for all the fluff. We hope you enjoy this fic as much as we enjoyed writing it. 😘😘

Additional Note: Ruk and Trex wrote a birthday fic for me earlier this year and this is kind of the follow up chapter. You can read how the plushie(3) obsession started here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20769434

Day 12:   An Avalanche Of Fluff

Ever since Cas had won that giant panda - with lots of help from Dean, of course - his collection of plushies had gotten larger and larger. It had gotten to the point that Dean was worried that one day he would return to the bunker and the plushies would have taken over.

Also, there was the slightly bizarre matter of Cas naming them all after different angels. And not just ones he'd liked either; he had a snake named Naomi, and a skunk named Raphael.

Most of them were angels Cas liked and missed, though. Even Gabriel, who was apparently a hyena.

There was also a squirrel named Dean, and a moose named Sam, and Cas kept them separate from the others, on a shelf in the kitchen. Dean got into the habit of saying good morning to them when he was in search of his morning coffee. He knew it was kind of silly, but it reminded him of a certain King of Hell, who’d ended up becoming one of their greatest allies.

Cas had named one of his plushies after Crowley too; it was a rat, but not a dirty one. Cas treated it almost like a beloved pet, which Dean found quite endearing.

Despite the ever growing number of Cas’s new friends, Dean found himself encouraging his hobby. Dean knew he shouldn’t, but every time Cas got a new one he was so damn happy… and so damn grateful too.

Sam though…

He didn’t seem to be very happy with the plushies turning up everywhere. Cas’s new plush bee, that didn’t have a name yet, had been standing in front of the little container on a shelf in the kitchen. A container Sam stored his teabags in. When he grabbed it in the morning the bee slid from the shelf and fell into his bowl of cereal, splashing the milk everywhere. Sam had given him an impressive bitchface, as he fished the drenched bee out of his milk.

“You better get that milk off him before Cas sees. Hurry up and wash him real quick.” Dean gestured towards the sink, wondering if Sam was going to carry it over, or throw it from where he was sitting.

To his relief, Sam started to wash the bee in the sink, shaking his way too long lion's mane. "He? Does this one have a name, too?"

“Actually, I dunno. I just figured it looked like a ‘he’. Cas is still thinking of a name for this one.”

Sam held up the dripping bee with a sceptical look. "Don't you think Cas has enough stuffed animals by now? They seem to be everywhere."

Dean shrugged. “They make him happy… just like bacon makes me happy.” There was another reason Dean didn’t object to Cas’s little plushie obsession, but he wasn’t going to admit it to Sam or Cas. If Cas kept them all at the bunker, he wouldn’t leave again, right?

Sam put the dripping bee down on the kitchen counter. The antennae were hanging down, giving the wet bee a sad look. “Can you even still go into your room? I mean, how many plushies does he have by now?”

“Er… I actually don’t know. I lost count. But I have to get one more for him; it’s super rare.”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “I’m beginning to wonder if the plushies are your obsession, too.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sammy,” Dean huffed. Sam was kind of right, but he wasn’t going to tell him that, was he?

“Of course you don’t,” Sam said, sarcastically. “But if this carries on, I’m staging an intervention.”

He sat back down and ate his now-soggy cereal, and Dean got the impression that the conversation was over for now.

"Who made you the plushie police?" Dean muttered under his breath. He finished fixing his cup of coffee and walked out of the room. He had an eBay auction to win.

***

Dean was parked on his bed, computer across his lap, staring intensely at the screen. So far, no one had added an additional bid on the beluga whale Dean was trying to win for Cas; but he was poised, ready to up-bid, in case someone tried to snipe him.

With only fifteen minutes left on the clock, the door opened and Cas came in, smiling at the sight of his boyfriend on the bed, laptop at the ready.

“Hello, Dean. Are you waiting for me?” He quirked his eyebrow in that way that made Dean’s breath catch and walked over to the bed.

"I'm always waiting for you, sunshine," Dean smiled and grabbed Cas's hand, tugging him down onto the bed.

Cas found Dean’s lips with his own, and kissed him so insistently, that if Dean hadn’t had the laptop perched on his lap, it was very likely that Cas would be on top of him instead.

He pulled back an inch or two, and sighed contentedly. “There’s a lot more room on this bed now that we moved my plushie collection to my old room.”

Dean laughed. "My memory foam didn't remember me anymore." He cupped Cas's cheek in his hand, brushing that chapped lower lip with the pad of his thumb.

Cas joined in the laughter, laying back and placing his hands behind his head. “What’s on the laptop? Is it a special video?”

"No, babe, I finally found that whale you've been looking for. I'm currently the top bidder, so no distracting me, okay?" Dean mock-squinted at him.

Cas sat upright, his face now a picture of seriousness. “I would be very grateful if you won the whale for me, Dean. I’ll wait with you.” He squeezed Dean’s hand for luck, and kissed him gently on the cheek.

Dean knew where this was leading, as Cas climbed behind him, chin on his shoulder so he could observe the countdown. A new bidder had upped him by chump change, so Dean added $100 to his bid.

"There, that should discourage-" He gasped as he felt a hand snake down to brush over his dick, encased in cotton sweatpants. "Caaaasss…"

Cas licked over the back of Dean’s ear, and growled into it. “Just a little distraction until you’ve won the whale for me.”

Dean bucked up into Cas's tightening grip. "Dammit, Cas! You know this isn't fair," he whined. This wasn't the first time Cas had pulled this kind of move, but damn was it always a wild ride.

“Concentrate on the screen, Dean.” Cas said, as if it was that easy. Then, just to add a little more torture, he slipped his other hand up under Dean’s shirt, and found one of his nipples with his fingers.

"Easy for you to say, you toppy asshole," Dean grumbled. But he stayed focused on the bids, not because Cas told him to - at least, not solely because of that - but because he really wanted to see Cas's face when they won.

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Cas breathed heavily behind him, and planted an open-mouthed kiss on the back of his neck.

His angel upped the torture by slipping his hand into his pants. Dean moaned at the brush of calloused fingers on his cock. "Cas, please?"

“Please what?” he asked, as he began to stroke agonisingly slowly.

"Oh, shit, Cas, please?" Dean rambled, as Cas's strokes got firmer and faster. "Wanna come for you. Spill into your hand, see my come all over those beautiful fingers. Wanna feel you inside me so bad, baby. Please, fuck, pleeease!"

Dean felt Cas shudder behind him; his resolve obviously weakening. “Patience… I’ll make this so good for you once the bidding is over.” His actions didn’t quite match his words, however, as his grip became a little firmer.

"Unh, I hate you so much right now," Dean grunted and turned to nip at Cas's jaw.

“Yeah, that’s right. Get angry… it’ll be so much better when you get your release,” Cas purred. A sudden gasp was accompanied by a loosening of his hold on Dean. “What’s that on the screen? Has someone outbid you?”

Dean turned back to the screen to see the bid now five dollars higher. "Oh, like hell! I need that for my angel.” Dean bid another hundred and glanced at the clock. Three more minutes. He'd be damned if he was going to lose this.

“Focus… we must focus on the task, Dean.” Cas tightened his hold again, and started to stroke once more, and now he was adding a series of little kisses to the backs of Dean’s ears and his neck.

"Fuck, you're killing me, Cas!" Dean's hips thrust up to meet Cas's hand. "Don't you dare fucking stop, 'k?"

“I won’t stop until the clock does,” Cas panted, and grinded the lower half of his body against Dean’s. He was obviously as affected by this little game as Dean was.

With less than a minute left on the clock, there was another increase to the bid. "Oh, fuck that, you sonuvabitch!" Dean typed a much larger number in the window, then reached back with his other hand and tangled his fingers in Cas's hair.

At three seconds, he submitted his final bid - a thousand higher than before; Mr. Robert Plant and Visa could afford it - and waited for the results.

“Two… “ Cas said, as he gave the firmest stroke yet. “One…” firmer still. “Zero… come for me, Dean.”

Fingers tugging at Cas's hair, and hips rocking up to meet each stroke, Dean came hard, adrenaline pumping through him. He glanced back to see Cas staring at the screen in triumph. Sexy bastard.

“You’re so good to me, Dean,” Cas moaned, his groin grinding harder against Dean. “I want…”

"Fuck me, angel. You know you want to. Want it so bad, baby," Dean taunted, hoping for a grade A victory celebration - confetti, parade, fucking fireworks... all of it.

Cas groaned, and Dean could feel him fumbling to undo his zipper. “Lube, now… and get rid of the laptop, and your pants.”

Dean shoved the laptop to the edge of the bed and grabbed the Astroglide out of the drawer. He struggled out of his pants, eager for the pounding he knew his angel was about to give him.

He handed Cas the bottle and heard him flip the top. “What position do you want it?” he asked… He might like to take charge, but he always wanted to make sure Dean was comfortable too.

"Just fuck me, Cas! I need you inside me, yesterday," Dean begged.

“Get on your hands and knees,” Cas commanded then; Dean had given him the green light to take what he wanted. “I’m going to give you what you need.”

Dean whined, "Please, inside me. Now, sweetheart, please?"

“You’re very impatient today, aren’t you?” Cas growled. “I think winning the bid has brought out your baser instincts.” He pushed Dean over onto his stomach and he immediately felt a lubed finger breach his hole. “Mmmm… so tight for me.”

He hated and loved it when Cas teased him like this. "More, Cas, I need you so bad…"

“You’re a very needy hunter,” Cas said, thrusting in and out, but still using only one finger. “I would make you wait for it, but you’ve been so good for me, I think I’ll take what you want to give me.”

Cas had obviously lowered his head, as Dean felt his breath on his cheek, before the brief pain of a little bite.

Dean moaned in pleasure. "I'm ready, Cas. Just do it," he begged greedily, needing to feel his angel filling him.

Instead of feeling that delicious cock pushing inside him, Cas added another finger, and thrust it in roughly alongside the first. “You like that, don’t you?”

Groaning, Dean replied, "Yes! You know I do. Caaassss…" He gave in, accepting that his angel was going to edge him again, but totally willing to play hard ball. "Mmm, more… want all of you, love."

“Oh, Dean,” Cas moaned; Dean knew exactly how to push his buttons. He’d clearly had enough of making Dean wait now, and after removing his fingers Dean felt the head of Cas's cock being pushed inside him.

"Oh, fuck, Cas! You always feel so good." He panted as that thickness penetrated him, slowly and exquisitely filling him. Dean tangled his fingers in the sheets, and muffled his moans in the pillow, pushing back to meet Cas's hips.

Cas started picking up the pace then; slamming in, then pulling almost all the way out, before slamming in again. For a few minutes, the only sounds in the room were the gasps and moans of the lovers, and the sound of skin slapping against skin.

Cas changed the angle of his thrusts and hit Dean’s prostate, making him groan loudly.

"Oh, yes, right there! Cas, please don't stop, baby? Please, I need you so bad," Dean begged, like his life depended on it.

Cas slipped his hand around to Dean’s front and encircled his cock with his fingers. Despite Dean having come already today, he knew it wouldn’t take much to get him to orgasm again; especially the way Cas was hammering his prostate.

He clenched down, tightening around Cas's dick, making the angel moan, and demanded, "Give it to me, love."

“I. Love. You. Dean.” Cas gritted out, punctuating every word with a thrust, seemingly going impossibly deeper each time. “I-I’m going to…” Cas came with a groan, holding tightly onto Dean’s hips as he finished.

Cas orgasming had become Dean's favorite kink, and he followed behind, shouting out his release. "Love you so much, sunshine! Fuck, do I love you!"

He collapsed to the bed, Cas on top of him, just where Dean wanted him.

Cas wasn’t ready to pull out yet; he stayed like that as they both got their breathing under control again. Eventually, he lifted his head and kissed along Dean’s spine, saying, “I can’t wait to see my whale plushie. Thank you for winning it for me.”

Dammit, the angel could still make him blush. "Anything for you, sunshine." He snuggled down under Cas's weight and sighed in contentment.

Eventually, Cas got too heavy and his cock softened and slipped out of Dean's hole. "Plug me?"

Cas reached over to Dean’s night table and opened the drawer. He was obviously trying to choose from the collection of plugs - thankfully not as large a collection as the plushies - but finally he picked one and brought it to Dean’s waiting hole.

The one he’d chosen wasn’t too large, and Cas slipped it in without any resistance, then sat up on his haunches and admired the view. “Beautiful,” he said, running his hand over the swell of Dean’s ass.

Dean didn't have to tell Cas how much he loved it when he left his come inside him. They'd fucked in every position Dean had ever imagined, and some he didn't know existed. It hadn't taken long for them both to realize Cas inside him in any form prolonged the pleasure.

"You're the best. I love you more than pie."

Cas laid back down beside Dean, giving him one of his extra special smiles; one that made his whole face light up, almost as if he was glowing. “That is the sweetest compliment you’ve ever given me.”

Dean curled into Cas's arms and kissed his left pectoral, over his heart. Nuzzling into his side, he let out a little hum of happiness and held his love tight.

***

Despite Sam’s attempt to curb Dean and Cas’s excessive plushie buying, a new one had been delivered to the bunker earlier that day. He had heard Cas’s exclamations of delight when he opened it (he had, unfortunately, also heard some of Cas’s appreciation for Dean when the item was purchased). Ugh!

Dean hadn’t been able to tell Sam how many stuffed animals Cas had - not even a ballpark figure - but his curiosity was piqued. He would just have to investigate, and find out for himself.

There was no sound coming from Dean and Cas’s room, so Sam easily slipped past it unnoticed. When he reached the door of Cas’s old room, he turned the handle to open it, and was surprised to find some resistance. He pushed harder against the door, and with a creaking sound it shifted, but it seemed to have dislodged something.

That something turned out to be somethings. With a rumble the entire collection of plushies crashed down on top of Sam, and he found himself on the floor, dazed and wondering what had happened.

Scrabbling off the floor, plushies basically raining off him, Sam stormed off to have it out with his brother and the angel; having so many stuffed animals that they filled an entire room was ridiculous. Opening the door without knocking, he was greeted by the sight of Dean and Cas fast asleep in bed.

How sweet , he thought, as he walked back along the hallway, picked up an armful of the furry little creatures, and carried them back to Dean and Cas’s room.

He let all the plushies hail down on their peaceful, innocent, sleeping faces before he stated, “We need to talk.”

The startled reaction of both of them was gold.

Dean sat up and ran his hand over his hair, clearly having no idea what was going on. He blinked up at Sam in confusion, and yawned.

Cas snapped out of his stupor a lot quicker than Dean did, and he looked around forlornly at the toys that were now strewn about the bed. “Sam? Why did you throw my plushies at us?”

"Because you two have a problem that we need to address. This is an intervention." Sam crossed his arms over his chest. "Your whole room is filled with stuffed animals. It is ridiculous. This is totally getting out of hand!"

Cas frowned, and picked up one of the plushies from the bed. It was a koala, and Cas smoothed its ruffled fur. “But they’re so cute. Look at it, Sam.” He held it up, making puppy dog eyes as he did so.

Sam didn't fall for it. He wasn't his brother. "I don't care how cute they are. An entire room, Cas! I opened your door and there was an avalanche. An actual avalanche of plushies. Enough is enough!"

“I… oh.” Cas’s face fell and he glanced at Dean, who now seemed to be fully awake.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go poking your nose into other people’s rooms,” Dean said defiantly.

Sam dignified that with his bitch face. "That doesn't change my point, Dean. I said avalanche. A-va-lanche of plushies. Look," Sam sighed as he carded a hair strand out of his face. "I didn't complain about the plushies I accidentally sat on in the library or in the Dean cave, nor did I complain about the dinosaur and duckling on the backseat of the Impala. I also didn't complain when plushies started to show up in the kitchen... falling into my breakfast... But Dean, an avalanche! It's just too much."

“I’m sorry… I didn’t realise.” Cas looked like he might actually cry. “I promise I will stop.” He laid his head back down on the pillow and sighed sadly.

“Happy now?” Dean scowled at his brother and pulled Cas into a hug.

Sam rolled his eyes. Of course he didn’t want to upset Cas but this had to stop. “I’m sorry, Cas. But this is just too much.”

Dean made a gesture with his hand for Sam to run along, and to be honest, it was amazing it wasn’t a rude gesture, considering what had just taken place.

Sam turned around and left the two of them, hoping he had put a stop to this. They must see that this was getting out of hand, right?

…. :::: :::: ….

Since Sam’s plushie intervention Cas had kept to his word. He hadn’t bought any more, and he’d stopped Dean from buying them too. When Dean had mentioned Christmas, Cas had firmly but sadly told him that he wanted anything but a plushie as a gift.

And although he had stuck to that promise, he felt sad. Because this was it.

He hadn't told Dean or Sam what his reasoning behind having all those plushies had been. Although they knew he gave names of fallen friends and allies to those plushies... they weren't aware why he was doing it.

Cas still carried the guilt of every angel he had killed back when he had been under the control of the Leviathans. It had been thousands. Angels Dean and Sam had never met, but Cas had spent millions of years in Heaven with.

He had a list. It wasn't written down but in his head, reminding him like an engraved wall of every one of his fallen brethren.

And even though Sam described his plush collection as an 'avalanche of plushies' they still weren't enough. He wanted every name on that list be represented in his life.

For some reason, he needed this. Because if they gave those plushies their names, he was able to talk to them. In some way… maybe it worked for him like a cemetary. A place where humans could go and find comfort in talking with their lost loved ones.

There were still so many names on that list, so many angels he wanted to talk to. Who he wanted to apologize to. Or maybe just tell them goodbye.

He noticed that Sam was giving him worried looks throughout the weeks, asking him if he was okay. He assured him that everything was fine, although it was a big lie.

Christmas morning was coming, and Cas wasn’t feeling any better. He sat thoughtfully next to the Christmas tree as Sam handed him two packages wrapped in old newspaper. “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Thank you, Sam.” Cas gave him a smile that he hoped conveyed gratitude, even though he wasn’t sure he would like what Sam had given him.

He carefully opened the smaller package first, finding a colourful pair of socks, decorated with bees. It was really thoughtful, and he held them up to show Dean.

“They’re very you,” Dean chuckled. Turning to his brother, he said, “Nice one, Sammy.”

Sam grinned at them and took a sip of his coffee. “Open the other one. I think you'll love it.”

The package was box shaped, and Cas wondered what it could be. A book? Another item of clothing? He unwrapped it carefully, and sure enough it was a box. Peeling off the tape, he was astonished… delighted to see a plushie! It was a unicorn, and its tail and horn were rainbow coloured. “Sam? You… thank you.”

He clutched it to his chest, feeling the prickle of happy tears in his eyes.

“Dude,” he heard Dean say from beside him. “That’s awesome.”

Cas wasn’t sure if that comment was directed at him or Sam, but he was too happy to care at that moment.

Sam cleared his throat, “Yeah, man, look… You were so down the last couple of weeks… I just… It’s alright. If those plushies make you happy, who am I to stand against it.”

Cas jumped up and hugged Sam tenderly. “You don’t know how much this means to me. And I will try not to cause anymore avalanches with my collection.”

He felt Dean’s arms around them both, and although he was being squished, he couldn’t have been happier.

The End

#Destiel Advent Calendar 2019 #fanfiction #destiel #christmas short fics

[samaraclegane]

Ineffable husbands! Crowley being really clingy and over protective after the bookshop fire and Armageddon that didn't happen. Btw I love your writing and you!♥️

author’s note: ahhhh I love it!! thank you, anon! :) super cute imagine, I can absolutely see this. hopefully my writing in this piece got the image across lol, I’m getting ill again so don’t have the clearest of minds! just had to write this asap, I loved it so very much. & thank you so much! glad you love my writing and me, feel free to pop up and chat if you want! always good to have more ineffable husbands shippers to talk to :)

-”really, Crowley, I think I’m quite alright to go on my own.”

-it’s been about a week, give or take a few days, since the world didn’t end. and, in those six-to-eight days, Aziraphale had found himself completely unable to leave, to go anywhere at any time, without Crowley being two paces behind him at an absolute maximum.

-today, though, he had to venture out alone, as dangerous as the demon deemed it to be. he’d had the shop closed for well over a week whilst he sorted out Armageddon and such, and the last he though people remembered of it was it burning to the ground.

-inexplicably, though, it was now re-erected, and so he officially had a job to go to.

-Crowley, however, is currently pawing at his sleeve like a lost puppy, making his heart so heavy he doesn’t think he can stand from the couch and leave him behind.

-”do you have to?” he asks, sounding meek and truly concerned, “I mean, do you really have to? can’t you get somebody else in for the next, I don’t know, six millennia or so?”

-”no, dear, I can’t,” if Aziraphale didn’t feel so guilty, he might have laughed at the demon’s proposal. “I’m the only one that works there, remember? and besides, it’ll be nice to get out of this flat-”

-”oi!” Crowley playfully hit him, and yet even despite his offended tone, his eyes never lost their desperate sheen.

-”not what I meant!” Aziraphale called as he forced himself to stand up, momentarily managing to rid himself of the dreadful, doubting thoughts his mind had conjured whilst looking at the sad scene of Crowley.

-he dressed himself, ready to go outside and face the newly and strangely cold weather. as he did so, he felt Crowley’s eyes boring into his back and, sure enough, when he turned around to face the demon, he was sat there, staring at him like if he lost focus for a moment Aziraphale would disappear forever.

-”oh, my dear boy,” Aziraphale said, sounding inexplicably maternal, moving to kneel beside Crowley but refusing to sit down beside him again, knowing where that’d end him for at least the next week. “what’s the matter?”

-at this direct questioning, Crowley shied away. he suddenly curled into himself, trying to simultaneously avoid and hold Aziraphale’s gaze, and looked sheepish.

-”you can tell me anything, Crowley,” Aziraphale insisted, sounding certain but not confronting, “surely you know that by now.”

-”’course I do,” Crowley grumbled, but still hesitated before continuing. his exposed yellow eyes glistened, looking somewhere between lost and hopeful, and then he confessed, “I just don’t want to lose you again is all.”

-Aziraphale felt the soft look swoop over his face, painting his features in a pastel shade of love. “you aren’t going to lose me, Crowley. you’ve never gotten rid of me that easily, and it’s not going to start now.”

-at this, Aziraphale leaned up and pressed his lips gently to Crowley’s forehead, who briefly looked relaxed before he saw Aziraphale make to stand again, then scrambled about.

-”where are you going?”

-Aziraphale began to make his way idly over to the front door, resting his hand on the doorknob then turning back to face Crowley, who he found to be following him as he always did.

-”work, Crowley,” he said, firm but not aggressively - never aggressively. “I’ll see you again this evening, don’t fret.”

-Crowley nodded, seeming to resign, realising Aziraphale’s intentions were set, and there was no keeping the man at home for another day. slowly, he said, “alright.”

-Aziraphale gave him a look, an affectionate yet pointed one, one a mother might give her only slightly misbehaving child, then turned to leave. just before he got too far away, though, a hand came to rest on his shoulder and dragged him backwards.

-falling into a firm chest, Aziraphale made a small ‘oof’ sound on the impact, and only after a moment did he realise Crowley’s slender arms had come to wrap around his middle, holding him in place.

-a voice came, to small and muffled that he almost missed it. thankfully, though, he caught just the end of it, so he was able to ask, “what was that, dear?”

-softly, Crowley repeated: “do you promise?”

-Aziraphale smiled to himself, then let his head come to rest atop Crowley’s. he enveloped the demon’s lithe frame in his arms, applying a hopefully reassuring amount of pressure, letting Crowley know he was there, he always had been and he always would be.

-”I promise,” he said, and didn’t think he’d meant anything more in his entire existence.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #writing #ineffable husbands fic #good omens fic #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #aziracrow #mine #prompted work #prompted writing #prompted works #prompted writings #send me prompts #send me anons #send me asks #chat to me!! :) #michael sheen #david tennant #ficlet #fluff

[paradisecost]

Share a random sex fact about each of your muses. [ALL 5000 OF THEM lol]

me, opening up my muse list because despite literally editing it this morning to take off any inactive ones I CAN’T G-DDAMN REMEMBER ALL 27 OF THEM SDKFJNF. 

putting this under a cut because as you might imagine, it’s LONG.

Bla/ck Sa/ils Muses

Flint - Deeply dislikes 69′ing. He’s easily overwhelmed when it comes to sensory things and pleasure as it is, so the concept of trying to both suck someone off and be sucked off at the same time is just like… THAT SOUNDS HELLISH, ONE THING AT A TIME PLEASE. PLUS he likes to be… if not facing his partner, then at least facing the same fucking direction as them.

Silver - Doesn’t have as much of a libido as you might think, especially after he loses his leg - trauma tends to fuck that kind of thing up even when it’s not related to bodily autonomy shit. Postcanon Silver in particular is usually tremendously uninterested in sex, partly because of the lack of libido and partly because G-d forbid he ever form a connection with anyone ever again, even if he has Madi’s blessing to do so. 

Thomas - Just a big ol’ fuckin’ voyeur (though only if the other parties are aware and pleased that he’s watching). Like is he sexually attracted to women? No. Would he gladly watch Miranda fuck a lady and get turned on during it regardless? Absolutely. Same applies to male partners tbh. Thomas vc: LET ME WATCH TRUCK AND JAMES FUCKING, I’M BEGGING YOU.

Madi - Doesn’t particularly enjoy going down on people, regardless of gender; it makes her feel sort of suffocated and uncomfortable, and she’s not a fan of how it feels in general. She likes receiving oral, but will always be very clear with her partners that it’s not something she can reciprocate, and there’s no obligation for them to go down on her if they don’t want to. (One of her favourite things about Silver is that he’s always delighted to go down on her, and equally as delighted to have her hand on him afterwards rather than her mouth.)

Rackham - Tbh canon-verse Rackham is barely interested in sex (which… they don’t know is because GENDER DYSPHORIA but shh) but one thing they do enjoy is just. Tits tbh. They’d kiss and leave hickeys on a lady’s breasts all fucking night if she’d let them (Anne didn’t, because Anne generally preferred to be the one doing the touching - hence why Jack was so often tied up when they fucked, which they’re fine with bc G-D I FORGOT THEY’RE INTO THAT TOO).

Age of Sail OCs

Esther - She’s not a fan of any kind of restraint play, whether it’s giving or receiving. She doesn’t like D/s type things or anything similar and is very much vanilla in terms of her sexual preferences, and calling her by any kind of title would probably make her cackle with laughter. (She absolutely loves laughing and joking around during sex it’s her favourite.)

Morbés - Is often more interested in the build-up to sex than the act itself; he’d rather make out for hours and flirt and tease than anything else, though he does enjoy sex very much once he’s having it. Likes to have his hands tied, but only if it doesn’t require a key or some shit to free him.

Oisín - THIS MAN HAS NEVER FUCKED UHHH he’d probably be too scared to go down on anyone until they’d been together for a longass time. I feel like he sees it as this Big Scary Thing He Might Be Terrible At, and it puts him off even trying because he’s so fucking repressed and anxious in terms of sex and sexuality in general already.

Be/dlam Sta/cks Muses

Raphael - HE’S NEVER FUCKED!! THIS MAN IS A PRIEST!!! But ALSO he would love manhandling his partner (gently) and nonverbally teasing them when they start wriggling in protest when he doesn’t let them move or touch him yet kdsjsdkfjng. (And also: likes it when his partners control him by tugging on his hair, as long as it’s not too hard.)

Merrick - Come to think of it THIS MAN HAS NEVER FUCKED EITHER. Probably likes to murmur in his partner’s ear and hold them while they get themselves off. He’s very much a giver.

Modern OCs

Ace - This is the biggest trope in the fucking world but LISTEN his wings and back are hypersensitive and that’s just how it is. Touching his wings won’t just like turn him on in general, it has to be while he’s in a sexual situation, but gently tugging and manipulating them and rubbing at the base of them is The Good Shit. He also likes to have them pinned down, because it’s a little in the same erotic vein as having your arms pinned (since… wings are just fancy limbs lbr here).

Knotch - MONSTERFUCKER.

Lyall - Can and will manhandle her partners and just generally show off her strength a whole bunch. She likes to banter and joke around during sex and in most circumstances will get uncomfortable if someone takes it too seriously, unless she’s in like a steady relationship and knows the person properly etc.

Red - I refuse to believe this man knows what a fuck is NO I’M KIDDING OF COURSE HE DOES. Are you a monsterfucker if YOU’RE the monster???? Well, either way. ANYWAY. He absolutely doesn’t sleep with anyone he doesn’t know very well; not because he places a Higher Importance on sex, but because he doesn’t really like touching people he doesn’t know anyway, and he’s not interested enough in sex to really seek it out unless it’s like… a way of bonding with someone he trusts and cares about. 

Sax - Is sex-repulsed and just Does Not Fuck, ever. She gets extremely uncomfortable if people even bring it up around her and will straight-up snap if someone makes sexual insinutations about her in any way.

XMCU/MCU Muses

Charles - Very much more into receiving than giving, though that changes by necessity after his injury; he can’t really feel much down there anymore, so he generally takes pleasure by pleasing his partner and feeling it through their minds (with their consent).

Erik - Will almost never accept oral. Generally doesn’t really like receiving pleasure in general; he’s most often sex-repulsed, but when he does fuck, he generally wants to be pleasing his partner. It’s not uncommon for him to refuse to let them touch him at all, and he almost never removes any of his clothing.

Frank - You know those weird fucking growly sounds Frank makes in DDS2?? Yeah, he fucking makes those in bed too, often without even realising he’s doing it and very often if he’s in subspace.

HP Muses

Remus - Extremely self-conscious about his body and won’t generally remove his clothes. If there’s penetration involved, he prefers to be the one doing the penetration; he isn’t averse to receiving it, he just won’t really go for it unless his partner initiates it first.

Sirius - He WILL make you laugh at a stupid pun while you’re nutting. 

Sta/r Tre/k Muses

Bones - Has a weird thing for doing it outdoors as long as there’s nobody around. Local Georgia man wants to FUCK in a FIELD.

Jim - Compliment his body and he’s yours forever.

Spock - HAND FUCKING HAND FUCKING HAND FUCKING

Test Muses

Aziraphale - This angel FUCKS, because in this house we’re sick of “nonhuman beings are Too Superior to Care About Sex” tropes. He WILL let you ride his dick and call you all kinds of beautiful things the entire time.

Crowley - This demon ALSO FUCKS, albeit significantly less than his angelic counterpart. Has a Music To Fuck To playlist and there is not one single Queen song on it, no matter how much Aziraphale insists he should have Get Down Make Love on there.

Newt - The man is an ADHD/autistic mess and frequently gets distracted during making out or even in the middle of sex because his attention span is horrendous. He can only stay interested/focused for so long, folks.

Credence - I refuse to believe this man knows what a fuck is. If someone touched his dick he’d nut in like a minute because he’s never been touched in his LIFE.

THAT’S IT THAT’S ALL THE MUSES ARE YOU HAPPY.

#asks #[ THIS WAS EXHAUSTING SKDFJN YOU CAN TELL I GOT TIRED TOWARDS THE END ] #eilidhink #desires: flint #desires: thomas #desires: silver #desires: madi #desires: rackham #desires: esther #desires: oisín #desires: morbés #desires: ace #desires: knotch #desires: lyall #desires: red #desires: sax #desires: raphael #desires: merrick #desires: erik #desires: frank #desires: newt #desires: credence #desires: aziraphale #desires: crowley #desires: spock #desires: kirk #desires: mccoy #desires: remus #desires: sirius #desires: xavier

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Raising Hell

So, uh, basically I have no idea why anything in this episode happens or what its point is supposed to be. Having looked up who wrote it somewhere in the middle, I am completely lacking in surprise.

I mean, the first bit pretty much sets the tone.  Chatty Corpsy spouts exposition a mile a minute, then gets killed, and the ghost stands over her and spells disembowel.  Is that actually supposed to be scary?  Funny?  Anything but an absolutely bizarre waste of my time?

A bunch of dudes with basically nothing but FBI jackets and a bullshit story to back themselves up with convince an entire town to camp out in the local high school for two days without anybody figuring out they're full of shit.  You know, what with smartphones existing and all.  Plausible!

Furthermore, I have become convinced that everyone in this writer's room genuinely believes there is nothing scarier than a bunch of random antagonists standing around in a room pontificating at each other.  It's all demons do anymore. It's all angels do anymore.  Oh, fucking look, here's a bunch of goddamn ghosts doing it, too!  A fucking thrill a minute, I tell you.

Also, you know how the episode with H.H. Holmes was actually scary?  Whether or not you think it's in questionable taste for them to use real life serial killers at all, the reason they included him was because the whole murder castle deal and semi-mythical legends about him made for a scary premise they actually used in the episode.  I ignored the thing with it being Gacy before in Lebanon because there was more important stuff going on, but contrast the current writers' choices with him and this Jack the Ripper guy with the use of Holmes.  Here they're just throwing out the names of real life murderers to try and make their villains scary in the cheapest, fastest way possible.  Just like bringing back “Bloody Mary” that just kills whoever, this loudmouthed windbag has nothing to do with the name they're stealing to try and make him scary.

Also, the spell demon guy did is keeping the ghosts in, right?  Sure, it's going to fail, but at the moment, it's supposed to be an impassible barrier, yes?  So why, exactly, is it necessary for Sam to call in his goon squad to join the four of them in wandering into the danger zone to shoot at 'em? Seriously, why?  Shooting them dissipates them for a few seconds, maybe minutes.  They’re not laying out additional salt or iron lines or doing anything that might genuinely help contain the ghosts, they’re just putting themselves in danger because ...?  The mooks could also be better spent guarding the major entrance points to the town and/or the townies and/or doing research back at the bunker into what they're going to try next after the barrier fails.  But those things would actually make sense and prevent the shambling zombie that is the writers’ pathetic attempt at a plot in this episode being pushed into something vaguely resembling action. 

I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that Rowena is now suddenly unable to do something with her powers that she did before.  Hey, remember when she stole that page out of the damned book to make herself more powerful to unseal her full powers (even though they touted her as the most powerful witch ever to begin with) and that was in season 13, well after the ghost-crystal-bomb thing?  But LOL, now she's even weaker?  This is exactly why nothing matters anymore.  Things that worked previously (angel powers, witch powers, the Colt, whatever) suddenly and randomly don't work to do the exact same jobs for … reasons.  The thing that makes it even dumber is they could have said that the ghost containing spell and crystal ghost sucking spell interfered with each other somehow.  Still at a bullshit level of convenience, but it doesn't involve making everyone and everything's powers completely arbitrary just because fuck continuity, that’s why!

Then Ketch shows up to save the Winchesters from their sudden attack of brain damage.  The show has provided an entire. fucking. town. full of angry ghosts straight from hell.  But actually bother to write a scene of Sam and Dean legit getting over their heads in a believable way?  Why fucking bother when you can just make them astoundingly incompetent.  It is literally unbelievable that Sam and Dean would not recognize those people as possessed fucking immediately.  Yet they stand there with rock salt filled shotguns doing sweet fuckall confronted by three fucking ghosts so Ketch can make a big entrance.  Is there a rule on a board somewhere in the writer's room that Sam and Dean have to be made to look incompetent at least once an episode?  Is this some kind of revenge for having to still write the main characters they're so clearly bored with?  Are these idiots just so fucking stupid they don't realize how insulting this is?  Did they run out of money for extras and the stunt coordinator?  

Also, someone explain to me how tiny flakes of metal are going to be less harmful to a human body than rock salt.  I'll wait.  They just really really wanted Ketch as one of the BMoL guys to have some kind of specialized gadget but couldn’t give him something actually potentially useful for the situation at hand.

Again, these writers really want to be writing a bad soap opera with occasional supernatural elements.  So despite that it's the final fucking season, we have time for Rowena and Ketch flirting.  Not to mention that they also give the only major female character even more relationship drama with the Jack the Ripper guy later.  If it's not questionably skeevy, it's not Bucklemming! 

Also, Castiel is not good at inspirational speeches, just like he’s frustratingly almost never good at anything else these days (those healing powers that were working last week? ha! forget it!).  Anyway, why do they keep having him make them?  Are we as the audience supposed to find them convincing though they never work on the target?  Are we supposed to feel bad for all the ~*feelings*~ Castiel supposedly has despite being an angel who isn’t supposed to have emotions the same way humans do?  I guess this particular one is to further show that Dean’s still mad (which I am absolutely 100% behind) but eh, whatever.  Though I guess that still ranks it above most of the episode sitting at a solid WTF, no really, WTF?!

Now we get to the part where they bring Kevin back for no fucking reason beyond that he's a “fan favorite”.  None of it makes a single tiny speck of sense.  Let's skip right past the fundamental absurdity of how Chuck apparently did this for literally no reason just to be a dick when he was actively trying to pretend not to be a dick.  Kevin has a “bad boy” reputation (come the fuck on) because God Himself cast him down - so him being in hell would have to be fairly common knowledge, for it to result in him having a reputation.  Except literally no demon Sam & Dean ran into between 11.21 and now taunted them with it?  Crowley, who was still alive and fucking King of Hell through season 12 never noticed and either told the Winchesters or tried to trade on it?  BULL and SHIT.  This is pretty close to the same scale of insult to continuity and the audience’s intelligence as these two fuckwits suddenly writing Lucifer as the older brother. 

Then in typical fashion, Sam & Dean discuss their plans to totes send Kevin to heaven in front of demon guy just so they can be told OH NOES!  He totally can't go to heaven!  So sad!  The poor widdle woobie!  Fuck off with this shit, show.  Not even to mention that they take the word of a demon as gospel truth when there is no time crunch or clear lack of better options.  It's all those many many hits to the head, I guess.  That I do actually find quite sad.  I mean, I don't actually want Kevin hanging around like a bad smell while they divert from actually important shit to try and get him to heaven where it makes no sense for him not to already be.  But at the end they don't even arrange some way to keep in touch just in case the fucking demon might be (gasp) lying?

Hey, I did actually like the exchange between Dean and Sam over Chuck poking his corresponding wound.  Oh, look, it's Sam's “I'm totally lying” face, followed by Dean's “I totally know you're lying but I'll let it go for now, Sam” face.  It was a great moment that required very little dialogue to work quite well.  It's such a shame nobody's making a show about these two characters!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The absurdity keeps on coming, too.  In the whole two days they've been wasting time in Sunshine Daylightville they never discussed how long the spell would last?  Oh, right, they were too busy wandering into the ghost zone to shoot at 'em for shits and giggles to care about that, I guess.  Not to mention the whole “just cast it again!” is remarkably blasé about it requiring a 'fresher the better!' human heart.

More ghosts blathering at each other.  Yay.  This supposed Jack the Ripper guy is just always in the right place at the right time to hear all the gossip, knows every random thing he could possibly need to, and already has the power to intimidate and attack other ghosts. He's basically ghost!Asmodeus, who also steals AU!Michael's original idea of how to get through the barrier, because we really needed time spent discussing the world's most obvious plan.  Also, we've seen ghosts able to attack and absorb the power of other ghosts, but it was because they had already been doing it for a while.  This guy is just as fresh out of hell as everybody else, but he's more powerful and knowledgeable and totes threatening!!!  Well, I'm convinced and not on the verge of napping from boredom.

Naturally for reasons, Rowena goes into town entirely by herself without protection with their only real hope of containing the ghosts before the barrier breaks down instead of anybody insisting on her going with backup.  That's what anybody with a brain would do!  

Of course no one asks where Ketch has been the whole time.  Or even thinks of trying to test him after he was last seen literally knocked unconscious in the middle of ghost central where we know there are plenty of ghosts angry enough to be capable of possession.  Nope, why would anyone even think to do that?  Everything in this “plot” that happens requires all of the characters to be completely fucking stupid.

I'm going to assume by “you” Ketch meant “you Winchesters” because Mary wasn't there.  It probably didn't, because Bucklemming, but fuck it.  It's the least egregious stupidity in this episode that's a cornucopia of choices for the worst.

I … actually like the scenes with Chuck and Amara?  So, you know, that's something!  

Then the episode ends with the guys looking at all the ghosties still shooting up from hell and wring their hands about what they're going to do and maybe they should get on that!  Again, if Sam's flunkies aren't all dead, why aren't their worthless asses already researching this shit over the past two days?  It's not like it's new news that there was a big open hole to hell at the center of the problem and there was honestly nothing but wrangling some cranky civilians to interfere with trying to think ahead to that.

In summary, this episode is a constant showcase of the problems that result when you set incompetent morons who don't recognize their own inadequacy to write characters who are actually supposed to be intelligent experts at their work.  It's a joke – except not at all funny.

#writer incompetence #anti bucklemming #negativity for ts #negativity all the way down #long post #spn 15x02 #spn season 15