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keerysquinn · 7 months

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@cheerscoopscentral’s cheerscoops week 2023 | day 6: reuniting

Title: Knowing Me, Knowing You Pairings: Steve Harrington x Chrissy Cunningham Word Count: 18k Summary: Back in Hawkins for her mother's funeral, Chrissy must face the life she left behind when she went off to college and vowed to never set foot in Hawkins again. CW/TW: parental death, verbal/mental abuse, mentions of disordered eating, minimal smut A/N: If you only read one thing I've written this week, please let it be this fic. I poured my whole heart and soul into this one, and I'm really proud of this fic. Also, apologies in advance for the emotional roller coaster that this story takes you on. I cried while writing it, so I can only imagine what reading it will be like.

Chrissy didn’t know what she was doing at the mall. She didn’t know why she was shopping for several all black ensembles when she already had a perfectly nice black dress that was appropriate to wear for a funeral. But the first thing her dad had commented on when she got out of her rental car was the fact that she was wearing a light blue tee and sweatpants.

“You’re supposed to be in mourning, Christine,” he’d said as she carried her suitcase and garment bag into the house. “What are people going to think if they see you wearing that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe that I wanted to be comfortable for the two days that I spent on a train to get here?”

“It’s disrespectful.”

“It’s not like we’re in Victorian England. I don’t have to wear nothing but black for a specified number of days. My life is allowed to go on.”

That only seemed to upset her father more, and since she decided that maybe it would be best if she didn’t antagonize him when his wife had just died, she was now at the mall looking for anything black that wasn’t too expensive. Screw her own feelings about any of this. She just had to play the part of the grieving daughter for a few days, and then she could head back to Maine and finally put all of this behind her.

With her arms loaded down with a selection of sweaters, dresses, and a few pairs of pants that she thought would most likely work, she was on her way to the dressing room when she heard a voice that made her stop in her tracks.

“So much for never setting foot back in Hawkins.”

Chrissy slowly turned around and found herself face to face with the second most person she didn’t want to run into while she was back in town: Robin Buckley. Luckily, the person she wanted to avoid the most was nowhere to be seen.

“He’s not here if that’s who you’re looking for,” Robin said when she noticed the way Chrissy’s eyes were scanning the surrounding area.

“I wasn’t looking for anyone.”

“Sure you weren’t.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What are you even doing here anyway? The last time anyone heard from you, you made it pretty clear that you’d rather die than ever come back here again.”

Chrissy felt like she was being punched in the chest with every angry word, and she couldn’t help but feel like she deserved this.

“Robin!”

For the first time, Chrissy noticed that Vickie was also there, and now she was pulling Robin away to have a hushed conversation. Robin’s eyes went wide as they darted back and forth between Chrissy’s face and the pile of very clearly all-black clothing in her arms before her shock dissolved into an expression of pure, unadulterated pity. From the look on Robin’s face, her girlfriend was probably telling her that she’d just mentioned dying in front of a girl whose mom had just passed away unexpectedly, and the last thing that Chrissy needed was to feel responsible for Robin's guilt on top of every other bad feeling that being back in Hawkins gave her.

Soon enough, Vickie was pushing Robin back over to Chrissy.

"We're both just so sorry for your loss," she said. "I can't imagine what you're going through."

“Thanks,” Chrissy said, staring down at the clothes in her arms instead of making eye contact. “I should go try these on.”

She started to turn away from them, hopeful that this interaction was finally over, but she was stopped by Robin speaking to her again.

“Does he know you’re back in town?” she asked.

“I don’t know. Not unless somebody else told him, I guess.”

“If he doesn’t know, can we keep it that way? I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces when you vanish again.”

“He wasn’t the only person who was hurt by everything that happened, you know. It destroyed me.”

She didn’t know why she was telling them any of this. Didn’t know if they even deserved to know her side of the story. But, she had to defend herself. She had to try to make them realize that she had to do what was best for her own mental health and wellbeing even if it left devastation in her wake. She wouldn’t have survived if she'd stuck around, and nobody took that into account when they judged her for the choices she made.

“That might be true, but you’re the one who stopped trying.”

“I couldn’t help it.”

“You could have. You just didn’t want to.”

“He’s the one that didn’t fight for me.”

“Only because you told him that you wouldn’t come back here for him!”

Vickie put a hand on Robin’s arm and pulled her back slightly.

“Okay, I think that’s enough,” she said. “I really don’t think that this is the time or the place for us to be having this conversation.”

“I just . . . he’s my best friend, Chrissy,” Robin said, sounding defeated. “I don’t want to see him hurting like that again.”

“Finally. Something we can agree on.”

Chrissy turned and made a beeline for the back of the store, not bothering to say goodbye or listen to anything else they might want to say to her. It was only then, locked away in the dressing room and away from prying eyes, that she broke down and cried for the first time since she’d gotten the call that her mother had passed away.

Seven Years Earlier

“I’m not ready for you to go,” Steve said as he rolled over to cage Chrissy in his arms and trap her underneath him. “Do you think, if I called your school, they’d let you skip freshman orientation and stay here with me for another week? I can be incredibly persuasive. Turn on the charm. Next thing you know, they'll be letting you take all of your classes through the mail, so you never have to leave my side."

“You know I can’t do that. I have to leave tomorrow.”

“Then what if I don’t let you leave?” he asked, tightening his grip around her. “I’ll just keep you here in my arms forever, so you can’t go?”

They'd been playing this game for weeks now. Steve would do everything he could to convince Chrissy that she didn't need to leave to go to college, and she would insist that she had no other option than to go.

Today, on Chrissy's last day in Hawkins, he'd invited her over to watch movies while snuggled up in bed with him, but they hadn't been paying much attention to any of the tapes that Steve had brought home from Family Video. It was hard to care about whatever Tom Cruise was doing in the movie when they were both painfully aware that they wouldn't be getting to see each other every day anymore.

"You know, there's a third option that neither of us have suggested," Chrissy said as she wiggled one of her arms free. She ran her hand through Steve's hair, and he moved to rest his head on her chest so she could lovingly scratch at his scalp. She loved that she was the only person who was allowed to touch his hair and the tiny relaxed noises he made whenever she did this.

"Why do we need a third option when I've already decided I'm not letting you leave?" he asked.

"I'm serious," she told him. "What if you just came with me?"

"You want me to come with you?"

"Of course, I do. Maybe not for the first year since my dorm has already been paid for, and I doubt my roommate would be too happy about some random guy she's never met living with us. This year we'll have to try to make long distance work, but we can call each other every day, and you can visit me whenever you can get time off work. You'll be with me so often that it'll be like I never left in the first place.

"But next summer? We can get an apartment together off campus. You can find a job that actually makes you happy, and I can get something part time for when I'm not in class. We can start our life together a little earlier than we'd originally intended, and after I graduate, we can find a place to settle down that'll make us both happy. I want that forever with you."

"I want that forever with you, too," he told her. "But I think it makes more sense if I stay here while you're at school. It'll be hard to be away from you, but we'll be able to save money in a way that we couldn't if we had an apartment together."

"So we'd be able to start forever without going into debt?"

"Exactly. I want to give you the life you deserve, and even if the distance is hard to deal with at times, I know that being apart is only going to make what we have stronger."

"I love you," she told him. "So much more than I'm able to express in words."

"I know. I love you, too."

"It's a lot for me to ask for you to be the one doing all the traveling just to make our relationship last though. I feel bad."

"I know, but it's something I want to do for you. Besides, you'll be home on breaks, so no one will have to do any traveling then."

Despite being wrapped up in her boyfriend's loving and warm embrace, Chrissy felt her stomach drop and her blood run cold. She'd known Steve for as long as she could remember. He'd been her first friend growing up after her parents had left them to play together while they socialized at the club, and he'd been around for all of her best and worst moments even before they'd started going out. He knew how much she hated it in Hawkins and how she couldn't bear to stay anywhere where her mother could have any influence on her life. She didn't think she was strong enough to survive if she had to deal with that constant criticism any longer.

During her sophomore year of high school, she'd decided that when she went off to college, she was never coming back, and Steve had been the first person she told. He'd always been so supportive of her need to get away and be her own person, but now she was afraid he hadn't really been listening to her.

"But I'm not coming home for breaks," she told him. Her voice sounded so small when she said it like she was afraid of what his reaction would be.

“You’re not?” He lifted his head slightly so he could meet her gaze. “I thought you’d at least be back for the summer.”

“Steve, we’ve talked about this. I can’t put myself in a position where my mom has any control over my life anymore. If I come back home and have to live in the same house as her again, she’ll pick and pry at me until all of the boundaries I’ve set are non-existent, and the cycle will just repeat over and over again until I’m just a shell of the person I was. I can’t do that again.”

“Then what if you live with me on breaks? Your mom can’t control what you’re doing if you’re over here.”

“But what about your parents?”

“What about my parents?” he asked. “They’re barely ever home anyway, and when they are, it’s not like they pay any attention to what I’m doing. They probably wouldn’t notice if I had five other people living here.”

“They’re friends with my parents. They’ll see each other at the club, and my parents will mention they heard that you and I are living in sin under their roof. Next thing you know, your parents will be inviting mine over for dinner just so they can check up on me, and this won’t feel like a safe place for me anymore because my mom will have weaseled her way into another home just to make me feel inferior.”

Chrissy started to try to push herself up into a sitting position. She was already feeling trapped by the downward spiral that her thoughts were taking her on, and it was making the way Steve was laying on her feel almost suffocating.

The moment he felt her struggling, Steve pushed himself up and moved to sit next to her on the bed. He tried to take her hand in his, but she'd already pulled her knees to her chest in an attempt to form a protective barrier around herself. He settled for resting a hand on her back instead.

"I don't know where all of this is coming from, but I promise you that nothing like that will ever happen. I won't let it."

"I know you would never intentionally allow that to happen, but you can't guarantee that it won't, and it's a risk that I'm not willing to take. That's why I can't be in this town. Right now, my plan is to take summer classes so I can stay on campus and maybe even graduate early. Then there would be even less time that we’d have to spend apart. I’m doing this for us."

"Are you really doing this for us?" he asked. "Because it really doesn’t feel that way. What happens to us if you won't come back?"

"That's why I want you to come with me. You know how much I love you. I don't want to lose you."

“But what about my life here? Robin, Dustin, and everybody else? You can’t honestly expect me to never see any of them again.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all. I would never make you choose between me and the other people in your life.” she insisted. “I know how much they all mean to you, and I want them to be a part of our lives, too. They can come and visit us wherever we end up whenever they want, and you’re welcome to go back to Hawkins to see them whenever you want. I just won’t be going with you on those trips.”

“I don’t want there to be parts of my life that I can’t include you in,” he said as he pinched his nose.

Chrissy turned towards Steve and took his hand in hers.

“You can include me in everything. I promise. Even if I don’t come back here, you know I’ll want to hear every detail of what you did while you were gone.”

“That’s not the same, and you know it. There are ways that you could come back to visit without your parents finding out. Different places we could stay. You just don’t want to try.”

“I don’t want to spend our last day together arguing about this with you. This is a hard boundary I’m setting for my own well being. I've been saying that I wanted to get out of here since before we started going out. You just never heard me."

"I heard you loud and clear," he said as pinched his nose again. "I just hoped that if I loved you enough, you'd realize you had a reason to stay. I guess it just never occurred to me that when you said you couldn’t wait to leave Hawkins that it meant forever."

Chrissy dropped Steve’s hand and moved to get off the bed.

“I think it might be best if we both take a little time to cool down,” she said as she headed towards his bedroom door. “Eddie is still planning on driving me to the train station tomorrow. We’re leaving my house at ten. I love you, and I still want to be with you. If you still feel the same, come with us. If not - well, I guess I’ll know when you don’t get in the van.”

The next thing he knew, she was down the stairs and out the front door. Maybe if he'd seen how heartbroken she looked or the fact that she was holding back tears, he would have run after her. He would have promised to find a way to make their relationship work. That's what he wanted.

But he couldn't look in her direction as she was leaving. She just sounded so calm and cold when she got up. He couldn't risk seeing her looking okay when he was struggling not to cry.

When Robin showed up at his house an hour later with her arms weighed down with party supplies, she was shocked to find Steve laying on the sofa.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked as she threw herself down next to him. "I thought you were taking Chrissy out to dinner so I could set up her surprise going away party for you?"

"Party's canceled," he said. He buried his face in one of the pillows and angled his body away from her. "You can go home."

Robin was never one to abandon her best friend when he was clearly upset even if he was telling her to leave. Instead, she flopped over to lay on top of him.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.”

Steve was quiet for a couple minutes, and Robin just let him be. She wasn’t used to seeing him like this, and if she could physically take away his pain and feel it for him, she’d do it in a heartbeat.

“We had a fight,” he said, lifting his head slightly and finally breaking the silence. “She left, and I didn’t run after her.”

“Then call her and try to fix things. Better yet, go to her house and talk it out. I’ll even sit in your car as moral support if you want. You can’t spend her last night in Hawkins apart just because of some stupid fight.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He just buried his face back in his pillow and started crying. He never cried - at least not in front of her - so she didn’t know how to react to this. She didn’t know what he wanted from her, so she did the first thing she could think of. She climbed off of him and pulled him up to sit next to her before wrapping her arms around him in the most bone-crushing hug she could muster. He wrapped his arms around her in turn, and she rubbed his back as he sobbed into her neck. Whatever this fight was, she didn’t think it was something she was going to be able to fix.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked once he’d stopped crying and didn’t seem like he was struggling to catch his breath anymore.

He pulled away from her and wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand.

“She’s not coming back.”

“What do you mean she’s not coming back?”

“When she gets in Eddie’s van to head to the train station tomorrow, that’s the last time anyone is ever going to see her in Hawkins.”

“But you’re here, and she loves you, so she has to come back. She has to.”

“Apparently, I’m not enough of a reason for her to stay. Which makes sense. I’m never enough.”

“You’re enough for me.”

She thought she maybe saw a small flicker of a smile on his face. It only lasted for a second at most, but she knew it was still there under the self-loathing.

"And I'm sure you're enough for her," she continued. "I've seen the way you two look at each other, and when it isn't nauseating, it's actually very sweet. There has to be a way for you to fix this."

"She still wants me to come with her to the train station tomorrow. If I show up, it'll be like today never happened, and we'll still love each other just as much as we did before this fight."

"Then why are you moping around? You can save this."

"Because I don't know if I can do it. She's going to get on that train and go whether I'm there or not, and now that I know she isn't willing to come back for me, I'm afraid that I can't give her the relationship she wants anymore. I can't be the only one putting in the effort to make us work no matter how much I love her. We're just gonna end up back here again, so why bother prolonging the inevitable?"

"I always thought you two were the perfect couple. If you two can't make it work, is there any hope for the rest of us?"

Steve didn't say anything else. He just wrapped his arms around Robin, and she held him as his emotions overwhelmed him, and he began to cry again.

The next morning, he didn't show up at Chrissy's house, and that was the end of that.

Chrissy spent the majority of her time back in Hawkins locked away in her childhood bedroom. Anything to avoid spending time with her brother and dad. She loved her brother, and she tolerated her father when she had to, but she couldn't bear the idea of being around other people. Not when she felt this numb.

The only times she really went downstairs were when she needed to eat. And, for maybe the first time in Chrissy's entire life, it didn't feel like she was going to be vilified for daring to open the refrigerator door.

Whenever someone died, it was customary for everyone they knew to bring food to their grieving family. The fridge and freezer would be overflowing with casserole dishes from friends and acquaintances who wanted to pay their respects. This wasn't the case for Laura Cunningham. Most of the people who knew her and liked her enough to bring over food were the kinds of people who rarely cooked for themselves and probably wouldn't start cooking just because their diet-conscious friend died. Instead, the Cunningham fridge was filled with premade veggie trays from the grocery store. Occasionally, their friends from the club would shake it up and they'd drop off a fruit tray or a deli platter, but those were few and far between. It seemed almost too on the nose to Chrissy that her mother only inspired people to drop off rabbit food.

She was about to make herself yet another plate of assorted veggies and dip when she noticed two very familiar looking casserole dishes on the bottom shelf. Dishes that she'd seen and been served out of at least once a week for pretty much the entirety of her relationship with Steve. She pulled back the tin foil covering the trays and was greeted with the sight of a tater tot hotdish and a chicken and wild rice casserole. Actual comfort food.

"Danny," she called out from her place in the kitchen. "When was Mrs. Henderson here?"

"I don't know," he said as he made his way into the kitchen. "A couple hours ago maybe? She asked about you."

"Why didn't you come get me? It would have been nice to see her."

"Figured you were sleeping or you didn't want company since you were locked in your room. I told her you'd be at calling hours and the funeral if she wanted to see you though."

It was not lost on Chrissy that the two dishes that Mrs. Henderson had brought were some of her favorites from the family dinners she'd been invited to. That woman had always cared more about her comfort than her own mother, and she was desperate for one of her hugs.

But the fact that Mrs. Henderson knew she was back in Hawkins filled her with dread. If she knew that Chrissy was here, Dustin definitely knew. Robin might have been able to keep that fact a secret, but there was no way Dustin wasn't going to tell Steve. It was looking more and more like running into him was an inevitability.

Before they headed to the funeral home for calling hours, Chrissy's father lectured her about his behavior expectations for her as if she were five instead of twenty-five. She was supposed to be polite to anyone no matter what, answer any probing questions about her life that any random person asked, and play the part of a grieving daughter no matter what she was really feeling. She had to keep up appearances and do damage control for whatever her seven year disappearance made people think.

It almost made her mad that Danny didn't get a lecture as well, but then again, Danny had always had a much better relationship with their parents. They were always proud of him no matter what. It was hard for her not to resent him at times for that, but she knew that it wasn't his fault. He couldn't control the way her parents chose to treat them anymore than she could, and he'd only been eleven when she left. Even now, he was just barely an adult, and he was appropriately sad about losing his mother.

So she stood up straight and tried to look somber. She answered every question she was asked about living in Maine and still being single and just generally implying that she was a disappointment to her family by not settling down and starting to have kids immediately. She let every single one of her parents' friends from the club tell her that this was such a tragedy and that they were sorry for her loss. She played the part that she was supposed to play and did whatever she had to do to make this whole situation as painless as possible.

It took everything in her to stop herself from smiling when Claudia Henderson made her way through the line. Neither of them had to say anything for Claudia to know what she needed, and she instantly wrapped Chrissy up in the tightest of hugs. She'd thought that she wouldn't cry at all that day, but there was something about this comforting embrace that had her tearing up.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry for your loss," Claudia said as she pulled away. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm doing okay," she replied as she dabbed at her eyes with the tissue she'd balled up in her fist for show. "Thank you so much for the casseroles you dropped off. We really appreciated it."

"Don't even mention it. You shouldn't have to be thinking about cooking at a time like this." She leaned in and lowered her voice. "And we both know that nobody else was going to bring you any real food."

The pair shared a small smile before Claudia pulled Chrissy in for another hug.

"How long are you in town for?" she asked. "I'd like to have you over for dinner before you leave again. I've missed you so much. We all have."

"I've missed you, too," Chrissy replied. She could feel the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes again. "I'm only really in town for the funeral tomorrow though. My train leaves pretty early the very next day."

"You'll have to come back and visit me again soon then. It would be nice to see you under happier circumstances."

"You're always welcome to come and visit me in Maine, too. I don't see many familiar faces out there."

Claudia gave her one last tight squeeze before breaking away.

"We'll plan something soon. I promise. I better get moving and quit holding up this line, but don't hesitate giving me a call if you need absolutely anything before you head back, okay?"

Chrissy gave her a slight nod before dabbing at her eyes with her tissue again. She didn't really have time to recover before she felt her heart grip in her chest though. Next in line to see her was Dustin, which she had expected would be the case, but she was surprised to find that none other than Steve Harrington was standing beside him.

Dustin barely said anything to her. He just echoed his mom's words of being sorry for her loss before moving on. She figured that he was just another name on the long list of people who were mad at her for breaking Steve's heart, and she was sure that he'd only showed up because his mom told him he had to come.

Or maybe he was there to be emotional support for Steve who was looking about as nervous to see Chrissy as she felt to be seeing him.

There was a shuffle where they didn't know whether to hug or just continue to stand there and awkwardly stare at each other, but then Steve was opening his arms, and Chrissy was stepping into them as if no time had passed and they'd never fought in the first place.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his chest, and she was reminded of how she always felt like this was where she belonged. She couldn't help but feel like she no longer deserved to be there. As she breathed in the distantly familiar scent of his cedar cologne mixed with the calming eucalyptus and peppermint of his deodorant, the tears that she'd been trying so hard to contain while talking to Mrs. Henderson finally started to fall.

"I'm sorry," she said as she pulled away from him. "I don't know why I'm crying."

"It's understandable considering where we are," he replied.

"I guess." She dabbed at her eyes with her tissue again.

Neither of them spoke for a moment with Chrissy staring down at her shoes. She couldn't bear to look at him. Not when she looked so pitiful and didn't know if she'd find any kindness if she looked into his eyes. Especially when she didn't think she deserved any kindness from him.

"Are you okay?" he asked, finally breaking the silence between them.

"I think so." She forced herself to lift her head and look at him. She didn't know if there was any kindness in his expression, but he did look genuinely concerned for her wellbeing.

"How have you been?" she asked.

"Do you actually care, or are you just asking because you think you have to?"

His words felt like a slap to the face. One that she probably deserved.

"Of course I care." Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. "I never stopped caring."

"Look. If you actually want to talk, we should probably do that somewhere else. Whatever needs to be said between us is going to take more time than we have here, and it should probably be said somewhere more private."

"We're done here in about an hour. I can meet you somewhere after, if that's okay? Maybe Benny's? Our old booth?"

"Yeah. Sure. I'll see you there."

As Chrissy watched him walk away, her stomach began to churn. She knew that this conversation was a long time coming, and it needed to be done, but that didn't mean that she would ever actually be ready to have it.

Steve was already waiting in the back booth when Chrissy arrived at Benny's. They'd spent so much time in that booth together - hangouts when they were nothing more than friends and weekly date nights once they had started dating. Steve had even taken a sharpie and written their initials inside of a heart on the underside of the table on one of their dates. It only seemed appropriate that whatever needed to be said was said at that table.

Chrissy slid into the booth across from Steve and pulled her cardigan tighter around her chest. When she'd suggested Benny's, she hadn't realized how exposed and vulnerable she was going to feel having this conversation in public. It was the only neutral spot she could think of in that moment, and now she was going to bare it all under the fluorescent diner lights.

"So, how are you holding up?" Steve asked, skipping the pleasantries.

"I'm fine. Better than most people are expecting me to be actually."

"Are you sure? What you're going through can't be easy."

"Can we please stop pretending that I'm brokenhearted about my mother right now? You should know better than anyone that my relationship with her was terrible at its best."

"I know that, but you were crying at the funeral home, and you're back in town, so I thought maybe something had changed."

"I wasn't crying because of her. I was crying because I'm pretty sure I'm a terrible person."

"Chrissy, you're not -"

"I didn't say that because I wanted you to comfort me or tell me I'm wrong," she interrupted him. "You're the last person I deserve comfort from anyway. After the way I left? You still hugged me even though I ruined us, and I started crying because I don't deserve that kindness. Why did you even show up at the funeral home? I thought you'd be trying your hardest to avoid me the second you heard I was in Hawkins."

"Well, with how much you insisted that you were never coming back, I had to see it to believe it myself."

"That's fair. I deserved that."

It was then that their waitress appeared at the table. Chrissy's stomach was in knots, and she couldn't fathom attempting to eat anything, so she only ordered a coffee for herself. Steve followed her lead and did the same.

"For the record," he started as the waitress walked away, "I couldn't not hug you. Your mom just died."

"And I was relieved when I got that call. My brother told me what happened, and the first thing I felt was relief that she couldn't have an effect on my life anymore. That's why I'm a terrible person.

"But I don't want to talk about her. Not now. I want to talk about what happened with us. I think I owe you a pretty sizable apology, but I don't know if I have the words to express exactly what needs to be said."

“You could try.”

Chrissy could feel the tears prickling in the corners of her eyes. She knew why he was being so cold to her, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. It felt as if the man who had hugged her back at the funeral home was a completely different person than the one who was sitting across from her now, and knowing that it was her fault that he was like this was breaking her. She wanted to run away and avoid having this conversation, but running away is what got her into this situation in the first place.

“First and foremost, I’m sorry for the way that I handled things. I should have told you about my plans a lot sooner than the day before I was leaving, and it wasn’t fair for me to drop that bombshell on you last minute. I loved you with everything I had, but my actions painted a very different picture, and I’m more sorry for that than I’ve ever been for anything else in my life. You deserved better than that.”

The waitress reappeared with their coffees, and Chrissy wrapped her hands around her mug and pulled it closer to her, taking in comfort from its warmth.

“Why did you handle it that way then?” Steve asked, staring down at his own mug. “Why did you treat me like I wasn’t going to be affected by the decisions you were making?”

She didn’t know whether she could tell him the truth or not. She wanted to clear the air between them more than anything, but she felt like the truth would only make them both feel worse. She owed it to him to tell him though. He deserved that much.

“I was scared,” she started. “I knew what my plan was by that Christmas, and I tried to tell you so many times. Practiced what I was going to say and made a concrete plan of what I thought our lives would look like after I went to college. You were included in every part of it, but I was too afraid that you wouldn’t go along with it to share it with you. That you’d push aside my fears and try to convince me not to go through with it.

“So I started dropping hints. Instead of telling you what I had spent so many nights thinking about, I tried to find ways to tell you that I couldn’t wait until Hawkins was just a blip in my rearview mirror, but I know that wasn’t enough. I wish I had been braver. I’m sorry that I wasn’t.”

“Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?” he asked her. “If you’d told me what you were planning sooner, maybe I could have come to terms with what you wanted, but you didn’t give me any time to adjust. You just told me the way things were going to be and expected me to go along with it, no questions asked. You say you loved me with everything you had, and I loved you just as hard. I would have done anything for you, and you still didn’t think enough of me to know that.”

“Steve, I was miserable back then. The only moments where I was happy and didn't actively hate myself were when I was with you. You were the sun shining through in an otherwise shitstorm of bad feelings. I was desperately clinging to the little happiness I had because my mother was doing everything in her power to make me feel as insignificant as she possibly could. My house was a nightmare, and leaving Hawkins for good felt like my only real escape. So, I'm sorry for how my choices affected you, but I did what I had to do to survive."

She'd been staring down at her hands as she spoke, and she could feel herself starting to tear up again, but she forced herself to look at Steve. She was surprised to find that he looked just as broken as she felt.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this back then? I knew your mom wasn't great, but you never told me it was that bad."

"Appearances are everything for the Cunninghams. If I did or said anything that made my mom look bad to anyone, things probably would have been a lot worse for me, and I could barely handle the criticism I was facing already."

"Screw appearances and whatever your mom thought. I would have protected you."

"How? There was nothing you could do. You couldn't change her anymore than I could change myself to fit the impossible image of perfection that she demanded from me."

"You could have stayed at my house more often. You could have moved in permanently if you needed to. Whatever you needed from me, I would have given you. You have to know that."

"Hindsight is twenty/twenty, I guess."

He reached out to take her hand in his, but she pulled it out of his reach. She couldn't handle him trying to comfort her. Not now. Not when she was still feeling so guilty and unworthy of his attention.

"I'm sorry," she said as she got up from their booth. "For back then. For coming back when I said I wouldn't. For being here now. All of it. You don't deserve this, and I don't deserve your kindness."

She didn't wait for him to respond. Just turned and ran for the door. He was up and out of his seat as quickly as he could be, fumbling around with his wallet to leave enough money for their coffees and a tip on the table before racing out the door after her.

“Chrissy, wait!” he called out to her once he’d exited the diner.

She’d had a bit of a head start, but he was faster than she was, so he caught up to her quickly. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her to face him, and his heart dropped when he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.

“I can’t do this,” she told him. “I can’t bring all of this back up and hurt us both again. I can’t do that to you.”

“Please talk to me,” he pleaded. “I just want to understand.”

“Why are you doing this? Why do you still care about me or what I went through? After what I did to you, you should hate me. I would.”

“Hate you? I could never hate you. Yeah, what you did really hurt me, and that hurt is still there, but I still love you. That doesn’t just go away.”

Chrissy lunged forward and wrapped her arms around him as she buried her face in his chest finally allowing herself to accept the comfort he was offering. He wrapped his arms around her in turn and held her close to him, rubbing her back and attempting to soothe her as she cried. No matter what happened between them, he’d still do whatever he could to take away her pain.

“Can we go somewhere else?” she asked after a minute. “Somewhere more private? I feel like we both have more to say, and I think it would be easier if I didn’t feel like everyone was watching me.”

“We can go back to my place if you want. Where’s your car?”

“Back at my dad’s house. We all rode to the funeral home together, so I just walked here afterwards. It was easier than explaining to my family where I was going.”

“I can drive you then.”

Steve led her over to his car, and they spent the short ride over to his place in silence.

When they arrived, Chrissy was surprised to find herself standing in front of Steve’s grandfather’s house. She didn’t know why she had assumed that he would still be living with his parents. Maybe because that was where he lived when she left. But even if she had been thinking that he’d moved at some point in the last seven years, she never would have expected him to move here.

Steve let her into the house, and it looked different than she remembered it. Occasionally, when she and Steve were still just elementary school friends, his Grandma Evie and Grandpa Otis would babysit them there while their parents were spending time at the club together. She and Steve had just started dating when his grandma passed away, and every so often they’d go spend time with his grandpa. The house had been an escape for both of them. A place where they could hide from their parents. She'd spent enough time there to have distinct memories about this house, and she was certain the front room had been painted a different color, and the flooring looked a lot newer than what would have been in a house this old.

Steve kicked his shoes off, leaving them on a mat by the front door, and Chrissy followed his lead and did the same with hers.

“Can I get you anything?” Steve asked as he headed back towards the kitchen. “I know you didn’t touch your coffee at the diner, but I could make a fresh pot here, and I think I’ve got beer and maybe some sodas in the fridge. Or I could get you some water if you don’t mind tap.”

"Tap water is fine," she said as she stood awkwardly in the doorway.

She didn't feel comfortable making herself at home and finding somewhere to sit without his direction, so she watched him instead. He'd rolled the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows, and her eyes were drawn to his forearms. It was criminal that he could still be so attractive to her even after all this time.

Steve moved around the kitchen with the ease of someone who had been living there for a long time. He pulled a beer out of the fridge for himself and then fixed Chrissy a glass of ice water from the tap. When he was finished, he ushered her into the living room and motioned for her to sit with him on the couch before handing her her glass.

"Thank you," she said before taking a small sip. "How long have you been living with your grandpa? I hadn't realized you moved."

"Right after Christmas of '88," he started. "He couldn't really handle a house this big by himself anymore, and you remember how stubborn he was. He was refusing to downsize and move somewhere that'd be easier for him to manage, and my dad wasn't exactly jumping at the opportunity to actually help his own father. I wanted to get out of my parents' place, and he needed the help, so it was a mutually beneficial situation for the both of us."

"It looks different than I remember it."

"That's because I've done a lot of work on the place since the last time you were here." He took a long swig of his beer. "When I moved in, he said that he wanted to fix the place up, and that it was about time for me to learn some valuable life skills. You remember how he used to do home renovations and carpentry?”

“Of course, I do. He made me that beautiful rocking horse to match the one you had here when he saw how much I loved yours. I still have it on display in my living room.”

“Well, I can make those now,” he told her, smiling a little at the thought of her still considering something his grandfather made maybe twenty years ago to be so precious to her. “I don’t think they’re as nice as the ones he made, but I’m getting better at it. He taught me everything he knew, and we remodeled this place together. I did all the physical work, but he sat nearby and walked me through replacing and refinishing the floors, replacing wallpaper and repainting. I redid the entire kitchen and the upstairs bathroom, too. He had me take him to his favorite suppliers that are still in business and helped me find the best deals when we were dealing with people he’d never worked with before.

“Even though he was helping me with everything, he let me make all of the major decisions and made me feel like this was really my project so I could actually learn how to do this on my own. After we finished with the house, he started teaching me what he knew about making furniture. I realized that I just really liked working with my hands, and I liked that I had something to show for my work. It’s what I do for a living now. Custom furniture pieces and home renovations. I’ve got my own little business going, and I’m doing pretty well for myself.”

He was beaming as he finished speaking, and Chrissy couldn’t help but smile back. This was easy. Learning what he'd been up to in her absence and seeing how happy what he was doing made him. She knew they had more to discuss regarding what happened between them, but she could listen to him talk about his work for hours.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I’m rambling, and you probably don’t care about any of this.”

“Of course, I care,” she reassured him. “I’m really glad that you found something that you love doing. I always knew you would.”

"I'll have to give you a tour of the place. Show off my handiwork a little bit."

"I'd really like that. Won't we wake up your grandpa though?"

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Steve said, averting his gaze and staring down at his beer. “He passed away in April of last year.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” she said as she moved a little closer to him on the couch and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know how close you two were.”

“Thanks.” He moved one of his hands to cover hers on his shoulder. “I think we both knew it was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I’m sorry I missed the funeral. If I’d known, I would have come back for it. I would have tried to be here.”

He pulled away from her at that.

"Would you really?" he asked. "Because you were pretty adamant about never coming back here."

"I'd make an exception for the important things."

"So our relationship wasn't important enough for you to come back for?"

"It's not that simple."

"Then please explain it to me because I still don't fully understand your reasoning here."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

Chrissy could feel herself getting worked up, and she knew that it was only a matter of time before she broke down again. It didn't matter how many years had passed. She still felt so raw about everything surrounding her relationship with Steve, and she didn't think that would ever change.

"I want you to tell me why you wouldn't come back for me."

"But I did come back for you!"

And there it was. She'd blurted out the secret that she swore that she'd never tell, and with that admission, the tears started flowing again.

"What?" Steve just stared at her in total disbelief.

"You heard me," she said as she turned away from him. She couldn't look at him. Not now.

"Chrissy, please." He reached for her hand, and this time she let him take it. "What do you mean you came back for me? I thought you were here for your mom's funeral?"

"Not now. I did come back for the funeral this time." She took a deep breath and turned to face him. She had to look him in the eye when she told him this. He deserved that much.

"This isn't the first time I've been back to Hawkins."

"Why is this the first I'm hearing about this?"

"It's complicated."

"Can you try to explain it to me?" he asked. "Because I'm really confused here, and I'd really like us to unpack this bombshell you just dropped on me."

"The first summer after I left, I came back for one day. I was intending on staying longer, but there was a change of plans."

"You came back for me, but you didn't come to see me?"

"That's the complicated part. After being away for a year, I realized what a huge mistake I'd made. I spent that entire year missing you more than anything. I picked up the phone to call you more times than I could count, but I kept stopping myself because you deserved more than some bullshit phone call. I was seeing the counselor at my college pretty regularly, and we agreed that if I wanted to try to fix things with you, I had to do it in person. I had to go back to Hawkins, face my fears, and tell you that I was willing to do whatever it took to try to fix us because I couldn't picture spending another day without you.

"I psyched myself up, and I went to your house as soon as I got off the train. No one was home, so I figured you were probably at work and headed to Family Video. You were there. I saw you through the front window, but I couldn't bring myself to go inside and talk to you."

"Why not? Why come all that way for me just to walk away and act like it never happened?"

"You were flirting with Rachel P. She had her hand on your forearm, and she was laughing at something you said as you handed her different movies off of the new releases shelf. And you just looked so happy and in your element. How could I go in there and ruin whatever you had going on? After the way I left, I couldn't upend your life when you were so clearly over me. I made the decision to put your happiness ahead of my own, so I left without you seeing me. I got a ticket on the next train out, and I never came back. Not until now at least."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"How could I? Walking away that day was maybe the hardest thing that I've ever had to do. Sitting here and telling you about it now is a pretty close second. It doesn't matter how much time has passed or what happened between us. You're my best friend, and I'm always going to love you. I will sacrifice my own happiness for yours every time, and I feel so selfish for telling you this when you probably have a really lovely girlfriend who treats you right and appreciates you and everything you do for her. Someone who's just an all around better partner for you than I ever was.

"And I hate that I'm the kind of person who hates her for it. I don't even know who this girl is, and I hate her. I hate her simply for existing and for loving you which is so petty and immature. Especially when it's my fault that you and I are in such different places now, and our lives aren't intertwined anymore. But I hate her, and I hate myself for opening the door and letting her swoop in and fill the space I left."

The tears were flowing again, and Chrissy hated herself for crying. She couldn't help that she was an easy crier, but it felt so manipulative in this situation. She had just openly admitted to hating any girlfriend he had just for having the audacity to exist in his life, and now he was going to comfort her because she was crying, and he couldn't stand to see her in pain.

She wanted to get up and run. To leave his house so she could stop hurting him and making him feel responsible for her emotions. But he was still holding her hand, and he wouldn't let go. He was just sitting there in silence, and it was killing her that he wasn't saying anything.

"I should go," she said as she tried to pull her hand away and get up from the couch. "I shouldn't have told you any of that, and I'm sorry I did."

He didn't let go of her hand. Only held onto it tighter.

"I don't have a girlfriend," he said, finally breaking his silence. "I don't remember flirting with Rachel P., and while Robin has tried to set me up with a countless number of women, none of them got past a first date. I've been single since you left."

"You have?"

"I have."

"But why?" she asked. "After that day, I always assumed that you would have moved on. I stayed away because I couldn't bear the thought of seeing you with somebody who wasn't me again. There has to have been someone else."

"I met the love of my life when I was three years old. There haven't been any other girls. It's always been you."

For the second time that night, Chrissy found herself lunging towards Steve. This time, it was to pull him in for a kiss. Her free hand moved to caress his cheek, but she was pulling away from him far too soon for either of their likings.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No," he said as he leaned back in. "You definitely should have."

He let go of her hand only to grip her hips and pull her closer to him, and she wrapped her arms around his neck for the same reason. He initiated their kiss this time, and as he did, he moved to reposition them on the couch with her leaning back against the cushions and him hovering over her.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" she asked, smiling against his lips.

"We wasted the last seven years. I'm not wasting another second."

He moved to kiss her neck, relishing in the way she gasped when he grazed her pulse point.

"Not here," she said after a minute, struggling to catch her breath. "I feel like we're a couple of a horny teenagers hoping they don't get caught by their parents."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He nipped at her pulse point again, and she squirmed underneath him.

"How about that tour? Maybe start with your bedroom?"

Steve kissed her one more time before pulling her up, and soon he was leading her towards the stairs.

"My bedroom's nothing special," he said as they started climbing the stairs. "But I think you'll really like the guest room."

"Lemme guess. You replicated your childhood bedroom? Plaid wallpaper and matching curtains?"

"Even better than that."

He paused outside of a room that Chrissy was very familiar with. This was the room that Steve always stayed in when he was with his grandparents. When she and Steve had both been very little, they'd shared the bed in there and slept snuggled up together for nap times and the occasional sleepover when his grandparents babysat them. Chrissy would often make Steve sit on the window seat with her while she read chapter books to him because he loved the stories but hated the headache that trying to read them gave him. When she was fourteen and Steve was a few days away from his sixteenth birthday, they'd shared their first kiss as a couple hiding out in that room in the middle of a Christmas party his grandparents were hosting.

"It's going to look a lot different than you remember it, but I don't know. I think I did the room justice."

He opened the door and motioned for Chrissy to enter before him. Immediately, she was in awe of the sight before her. The bed was still the same. The queen-sized mattress topped with the floral quilt that had always been her favorite for building the best forts and naps when it was especially cold. But the bed was the only thing that stayed the same. Originally, the floor had been covered in a plush red carpet that had faded in a few places from age and wear. That carpet was gone now, and the original hardwood floors underneath had been refinished in a deep chocolate brown color. The window seat cushions had been reupholstered in a soft cream colored fabric, and there was a matching area rug in the same color on the floor. The walls had originally been beige, but they'd been repainted in a shade of blue that matched the forget-me-nots on the quilt - Chrissy's favorite color. She didn't want to say it out loud for fear of being wrong, but it felt like this room was redone with her in mind.

"Steve, it's beautiful," she said, turning to face him. "Did you really do all of this?"

"It was the last room we tackled, so it's probably my best work in the house. Took me forever to decide what I wanted to do in here, too. I felt weird changing things because it had never just been my room, you know? I just went with what I thought looked nice. Didn't even realize what I'd done until the room was finished."

He didn't have to say it out loud for the meaning behind his words to be crystal clear: when he'd updated this room, he'd done it with her in mind.

"It's perfect."

She turned to him and stood on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek, and from there their hands were all over each other again. She'd barely pulled away from him when he pulled her flush against him. One hand splayed across her lower back, and the other cradled the back of her head as he leaned in to kiss her. It was probably a good thing that he was holding her up because his eagerness made her weak in the knees.

It took her a moment to register that this was really even happening. That the fantasy that kept her awake at night wishing that she felt safe in Hawkins and wishing he still loved her could be real. If she'd only been just a little braver, she could have had this so much sooner.

She hadn't been too far off with her comment about them feeling like a couple of horny teenagers. Of course, this wasn't their first time together, but after being apart for so long, they were both so eager to get reacquainted with each other's bodies that they were acting like they'd never held each other before. Tripping over their own feet as they stripped down and stumbled towards the bed if only because they couldn't keep their hands to themselves a moment longer.

It was so strange to feel so distant from someone who carried so much intimate knowledge about all the things that made her body quiver and her toes curl in ecstasy. And it felt strange for the opposite to be true as well. To know that if she pulled his hair at just the right moment, he'd moan into her folds, and she'd see stars. That once he flipped them over for her to be on top, all she had to do was run her fingers through his chest hair and whisper that he was almost too big for her to handle, and he'd whimper as his fingers dug in to bruise her hips. She knew how to pull the exact reactions she wanted out of him, and he knew the same for her almost as if their bodies had been made simply for the art of pleasuring each other.

It wasn't just the sex though. It was the feeling of being connected to someone who cared about her so deeply and wanted to take care of all of her needs. It was the fact that after laying there for a minute reveling in how phenomenal being able to touch each other again was, he took her into the bathroom and shared a shower with her. That he washed her hair for her and kissed her shoulder before helping to wash her back. That he let her do the same for him and let out the most contented sigh every time she placed a kiss on a spot where her nails had left a mark during their previous activities. That he gave her one of his softest t-shirts and a pair of boxers to sleep in before ushering her back into the guest room for cuddles and stolen kisses. That there was no expectation for her to leave now that they'd had their fun.

It wasn't just the sex. It was that he wanted more than that from her, and he wasn't afraid to make that known.

Once they were back in bed, she moved to straddle his waist. She sat back, and his hands moved to rub up and down her thighs. She didn't say anything. Instead, she was mentally taking stock of all her favorite parts of him. The things that she missed the most about him over the years. His kind eyes and sleepy smile and the way he looked at her as if she was the only girl who ever existed. He still had the remnants of his sun-kissed summer tan, and it only made him more handsome to her - something she didn't even know was possible.

"What's going on in your head?" he asked her after a moment.

"Nothing. Just thinking about how much I've missed this. Missed you."

"The feeling is mutual if that wasn't obvious."

"It was very obvious," she said with a small laugh before leaning down to kiss him again.

When she pulled away, she was back to studying his features, and her focus was drawn towards the moles and freckles that decorated his skin. She'd always loved them. When they were little kids, he'd let her play connect the dots with ones on his arms even though his mom always got mad at him for drawing on himself. She stopped drawing on him as they got older, but she still traced patterns on them with her fingertips whenever she could.

Once they'd started dating, she'd insisted that she was going to kiss every single one of them and shower him with the affection that he gave her on a daily basis, but she'd never been able to actually do it. She'd started on more than one occasion, but Steve got restless every time and flipped their positions so she was the one getting kisses instead. He couldn't handle not being able to reciprocate her affection for more than a minute at the most.

She didn't think she'd get to kiss them all this time either, but she thought she'd at least like to take the opportunity to give him every last bit of the attention he deserved after all this time apart. It couldn't make up for her leaving, but she could show him how much she still cared.

She started with the two on his cheek and then moved down to kiss his jaw. Next was two on his neck that she'd always teased him about being the perfect spot for a vampire bite. She wasn't trying to kiss all of them this time. Just her favorites.

She kissed the one in his ear next, and he scrunched up his shoulder and held in a laugh as her lips tickled his skin.

"What are you doing?" he asked her.

"I'm kissing my favorites of all your moles," she replied as if that should be obvious to him.

"And that includes the one in my ear?"

"Absolutely, it does!" She kissed it again. "I always thought this one was especially cute."

She traced the shell of his ear with her finger and placed another soft kiss on his mole. This time, he let out a breathy laugh.

"Move somewhere else." He tightened his grip on her hips. "You're making it tickle on purpose."

"I am not!" she said, faking offense. "I think you're just too tickly for your own good."

"That's pretty rich coming from you," he teased.

"I promise I won't make the kisses tickle anymore, okay? Just relax and let me love on you for a little bit."

Steve loosened his hold on her slightly, and she moved down to kiss some of the moles on his shoulders. If she was going to kiss all of her favorites, she'd have to get him to roll over, so she could get to his back. She'd often had him cuddle with her in a way that allowed her to run her fingers along the moles that decorated his skin there. They'd both found it relaxing, and she missed that level of intimacy more than anything else.

That kind of cuddling always led to them falling asleep though, and she wasn't ready for this night to be over just yet. She was feeling playful, and she wanted something more than cuddling.

So, she kissed his neck again. She kissed his shoulder. She trailed kisses across his chest. And then, as she went to kiss a mole on his side, she shoved one of her hands into his armpit and tickled the skin there.

Steve flinched and sputtered out a laugh, but with Chrissy sitting on top of him, he couldn't easily get away.

"You promised you weren't gonna tickle," he said between his laughs as he squirmed underneath her.

"I said I wouldn't make the kisses tickle anymore," she teased as she wiggled the fingers of her free hand up his side. "I didn't say anything about not using my fingers."

Steve was always a little sleepy after sex, and while he was batting at Chrissy's hands and trying to push them away, she could tell he was too tired to really fight her off. She slowed her fingers and gave his sides one final squeeze before leaning down to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. He wrapped his arms around her as soon as she was close enough, and she squealed as he rolled them over so she was lying beside him.

"That was very sneaky," he said as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"It's not my fault that you look so cute when you're giggling like that."

"You do realize this means that I have to get you back now, right?"

"I don't think that's necessary actually."

"Oh, but it is. Fair is fair."

When he'd rolled them over, she'd landed on one of his arms. That arm was now snaked behind her shoulders and holding her close to him. His free arm just hovered over her as he tried to decide where to attack, but a wiggle of his fingers in her direction was all it took for Chrissy to start giggling and trying to hide her face in her hands.

A mischievous smirk lit up Steve's face. He'd almost forgotten this game of theirs. Just having his hand flex near any of her sensitive spots tickled her without him having to even touch her. He assumed it was because of the anticipation of real tickles, but she always accused him of having freaky mind powers and being able to tickle her telepathically. He was happy to see that this was still the case.

He decided to just tease her at first. He hovered his hand over her body, occasionally flexing it when it was above her thighs, her stomach, her neck - any spot where he knew she was ticklish. And every time he did it, she flinched and let out a stream of giggles.

"Quit it," she said through her laughter as she tried to bury her face in his neck.

"Quit what, Chrissy?" he teased. "I'm not even touching you."

"You know what you're doing. Please stop using the force on me."

"Well, I guess I can stop since you asked so nicely."

She removed her face from his neck, and he moved to kiss the tip of her nose.

"But remember," he started. "You asked for this."

Chrissy's eyes widened, but she didn't have any time to react before Steve had shoved his hand up her shirt and started tickling the spot on her ribs that always made her dissolve into what he thought were the cutest snort-laced giggles.

He didn't tickle her for very long. Maybe only a few seconds longer than she tickled him. She had always been more sensitive than he was, and he never wanted to push her to the point of being too uncomfortable. So, with one last flutter of his fingers across her stomach and a raspberry blown into the crook of her neck, he ended his tickle attack.

Immediately, she rolled away from him to curl up in a little ball and protect her tickle spots, but he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. Once he'd pinky promised that he wasn't going to tickle her anymore, she relaxed into his embrace and allowed him to press a few soft kisses to her neck.

"You know, we talked about my life, but you never told me what you've been doing since you left," he said as he pulled the neckline of her shirt out of the way slightly to kiss her shoulder.

"I've spent pretty much the entire time in school," she told him. "I got my degree in education, and then I went back to get my master's in school counseling. It took me longer than I would have liked since I was working full time to support myself on top of my coursework, but I'm glad I did it. Right now, I'm just substitute teaching and looking for something to do when I don't have a steady subbing job, but my goal is to be a guidance counselor in a middle or high school. It feels silly, but I want to do something that matters. Give some kids the help and support that I never really got."

"I don't think that's silly at all. I think it's really cool that you chose to do something so selfless, and I'm really proud of you."

She rolled over in his arms to face him and wormed her arm between his arm and side so she trail her fingers up and down his back as she leaned in to kiss him again.

"We should get some sleep," she told him. "I don't want to be tired at the funeral tomorrow. Can't really keep up appearances if I'm falling asleep in the pew."

Steve was quiet for a moment almost as if he was afraid of how she would react to what he wanted to say.

"You could skip the funeral," he told her. "You don't have to go if you don't want to."

"I know," she replied. "But I should go. They'd never forgive me if I skipped it, and I want to be there for Danny. My mother may not have loved me, but she loved him, and I'd be a terrible sister if I didn't sit through it for him."

"She doesn't deserve to have you there."

"You knowing that is enough for me," she said before kissing him again. "Just hold me for tonight. I don't want her memory to taint this, too."

"That I can do."

He kissed her again and moved to situate them so that she was laying flat on her back and he was laying with his head resting against her chest. He held her close to him, and she traced her fingers over the moles on his shoulders and upper back.

Neither of them had to say it out loud for it to be known that there was nothing but love between them in that moment.

When Chrissy woke up, she was cold. She and Steve had rolled away from each other in the middle of the night, and she missed the warmth and comfort that being snuggled up with him provided. She whined as she reached out for him, scooting herself over to his side of the bed.

When her fingers connected with his skin, she draped her arm over his waist to pull herself closer to him and pressed her cheek against his shoulder blade.

"Good morning," Steve said as he took Chrissy's hand in his and kissed her fingers before holding it against his chest. She could hear the sleepy smile in his voice, and it made her smile in turn as she went to press a kiss against his shoulder blade.

"What time is it?" she asked.

Steve reached for his watch where he'd left it on the bedside table the night before.

"Five after ten," he told her.

Their morning cuddles were short-lived as Chrissy shot up from the bed and started collecting her clothes from around the room cursing under her breath.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I need you to take me back to my dad's place right now. We overslept, and the funeral starts at eleven. I'm not going to have enough time to get ready, and my dad is going to kill me. They're going to end up heading to the church without me because I can never do anything right."

As soon as he heard her starting to spiral, Steve was out of bed and at Chrissy's side. He stopped her frantic searching and pulled her close to his chest.

"I know you're never supposed to tell a panicking girl to calm down," he said as he ran a hand up and down her back. "But maybe this can be the one exception?"

"We don't have time for this. I need to get back so I can change for the funeral and stop being the family disappointment for once in my life."

She tried to pull away, but he held onto her tight.

"I'm not going to let you talk to yourself like that, okay? Let me go brush my teeth and throw some clothes on, and I'll take you back to your dad's place. If they leave for the funeral without you, I'll drive you there myself. I promise that everything is going to be okay. Do you trust me?"

She nodded her head slightly.

"Okay. Good." He swiped his thumb across her cheek and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Take a few deep breaths and then get changed. I'll be right back."

Steve rushed through what he had to do to be ready to leave the house. Normally, he might have spent a little longer in the bathroom, but the last thing he wanted was for Chrissy to go into a full-blown panic attack mode. He just got her back, and he wasn't going to let anything ruin that for them - least of all Laura Cunningham.

When he went back into the guest room, he found Chrissy sitting on the edge of the bed. She was dressed in her clothes from the night before - minus the pantyhose that he'd torn off of her in his eagerness - and the clothes of his that she'd slept in were folded neatly on the bed beside her. As soon as she saw him, she shot up from her seat and went to grab his hand so she could drag him down the stairs. He knew that he had nothing to feel guilty about. They’d just fallen asleep together and neither of them had suggested setting an alarm. It was nobody’s fault that they were running late, and neither of them really wanted to attend this funeral in the first place. But seeing Chrissy so distraught about the mere idea of what would happen if she was late made his heart drop. He was going to get her to that church on time even if it killed him.

So, maybe he drove a little bit over the speed limit down residential streets to get to her dad’s house as quickly as he could. Her dad and brother had already left for the church by the time they got there, and that nearly sent Chrissy into another wave of panic. But Steve held her hand and reassured her that they still had plenty of time to get there. He wasn’t going to let her be late.

He waited in the living room for her while she raced upstairs to change into her funeral dress and make herself look presentable enough as to not offend her father by looking less than perfect. As he looked around the room, he noticed that Chrissy wasn’t in any of the photos on display. There were pictures of her parents, her grandparents on both sides of the family, and Danny at all stages of his life thus far, but she was completely absent from their memories. If he hadn’t known that this was her childhood home and that those were her family members in those pictures, he would have assumed that she was a stranger to all of them. He tried to think back to the last time he was in this house and remember if it had always been like that, but he honestly couldn’t remember there ever being any photos of her on display here other than the large family portrait above the mantle. Even now, that portrait was gone. It had been replaced by a new one that looked as if it had been commissioned after she’d gone off to college. She’d left a place that made her miserable, and they’d responded by making it look like she’d never been there at all.

He didn’t have too long to dwell on the anger brewing in his stomach because Chrissy was soon racing down the stairs with her shoes in her hand and urging him to hurry out the door. Today was not the day for him to get into a fight with Mr. Cunningham, and it was going to take everything in his power not to say something dumb when he saw him, but right now, his focus had to be on Chrissy and getting her where she needed to be.

She was shaking with anxiety the entire car ride, jostling her leg around as she continuously tapped her foot in an attempt to rid herself of the nervous energy coursing through her body. Steve tried to calm her down with a comforting squeeze of her knee, but she couldn’t relax until they’d made it through the doors and she was certain that she wasn’t late.

She tried to take Steve to the front row with her. She was still having a hard time believing that she was deserving of his comfort, but she knew that holding his hand through the service would make this easier for her to get through. But, when she tried to enter the pew, her father stopped them.

“Front row is for blood relations only,” he said quietly enough that no one would hear him turning away the Harrington boy who was clearly holding his daughter together.

Steve was ready to insist that he needed to sit with Chrissy, but she stopped him with a hand placed against his chest.

“It’s okay,” she told him. “I’ll be fine. We can meet up again afterwards.”

Steve was hesitant to leave her side. He didn’t want her to have to go through this alone, but he had no other choice than to move back a few rows with her father blocking his path.

Chrissy desperately wanted to move to sit with him, but she knew that her father would never let her get away with that. Instead, she focused on playing the part of the grieving daughter that everyone expected her to play. She thought she was doing a pretty good job of it until the priest started waxing poetic about her mother's life.

"As a stay-at-home mom, her one joy in life was doting on her beloved son and daughter. To lose a mother's love so young is always a tragedy, but I can only imagine how much worse it is when said mother is as good as Laura was to her children."

Chrissy had to stop herself from laughing in the middle of the service. She thought she disguised it as a sob pretty well, but from the look her father gave her, she could tell that she'd messed up.

The priest rambled on for what seemed like an eternity about what a joy Laura Cunningham had been to be around and how she had been such an integral part of the church community. About how it was such a shame that she lost her long battle when she still had so much left to give. He ended the service by saying that anyone who wanted to say one last goodbye to her could join the family at the cemetery for a prayer before they lowered her into her final resting place.

All Chrissy wanted to do was go back to Steve and skip the rest of this horrid day, but her father clearly had other plans for her. He ushered her away from where Steve was waiting and out to his car where she was forced to sit in the backseat while her brother rode shotgun. As soon as her father started speaking to her, she felt like a child being berated for no good reason.

“Your behavior in there was absolutely unacceptable, Christine,” he started. “I asked you to do one thing this week, and you couldn’t bother to do that correctly. I will not let your bad attitude sully your mother’s memory.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh, really? You don’t think you did anything wrong?”

“I showed up, didn’t I?”

“You were barely on time after not bothering to come home last night, and then you walked in with your one night stand and tried to get him to sit in the section reserved for family. What were you thinking?”

“Steve wasn’t a one night stand. You know better than anyone that he means more than that to me.”

“You haven’t spoken to him in seven years, Christine. I highly doubt that whatever you two did last night means anything more than that. The point is that you brought him to the funeral and drew attention towards your sins.”

“I’m twenty-five. I think I’m allowed to decide if I want to spend the night somewhere else. I’m allowed to participate in whatever adult activities I choose and live my life in whatever ways that I see fit.”

“When you’re living under my roof, you follow my rules, and my rules state that what you did was unacceptable. Not to mention the fact that you laughed in the middle of your mother’s funeral! All you needed to do was act like you were upset about your mother being gone, and instead, you had the audacity to laugh when the priest was talking about how much she loved you and your brother.”

“Because she never loved me!”

Chrissy’s outburst silenced all conversation in the car. She could feel herself shaking with rage, and while she knew it would probably be best if she just dropped the subject and stayed quiet, she couldn’t help but poke the bear.

“She may have loved Danny and been a wonderful mom to him, but she never cared about me in the same way. I was never worthy of her love no matter how hard I tried because her love was conditional, and I couldn’t fit the mold of impossible perfection that she tried to force me into.

“So, yeah, I laughed. I found it hilarious that he thought her one joy in life was being a loving mother when it was actually making me feel like garbage. It’s bullshit. This whole thing is bullshit. Everyone saying what a shame it is that she’s gone and that it’s terrible that she suffered from whatever mysterious illness you vaguely alluded to her having because heaven forbid anyone learn the truth about her being a narcissist with severe appearance issues that she tried to force me to have right along with her. Wouldn’t everyone just love to know that she died because the quack she was getting liposuction from messed up and punctured her lung mid-procedure? I may have laughed in the middle of the service, but at least I had the decency to cover it up and pretend I was crying. I haven’t told anyone about how she really died, and I’ve nodded politely and said exactly what I was supposed to say to every single person who’s told me that my mother was just the greatest woman in the world even though everything in me was screaming to say how much I hated her. I did what I had to do to protect the image of this bullshit family that never cared about me in the first place. I played my part perfectly, and -”

“That is enough, Christine!” her father interrupted her. “I don’t want to hear another word about your mother from you. You don’t want to be here, and frankly, the feeling is mutual. Maybe she made some mistakes in how she raised you, but your mother was always looking out for your best interests whether you want to believe that or not. You may have chosen to abandon this family the first chance you got, but the least you can do is pretend that you’re grateful for everything your mother did for you for the first eighteen years of your life. So I need you to shut up and pretend you’re grieving for the rest of the day. You will speak to no one and keep this bad attitude of yours to yourself, or you can sleep at the train station tonight instead of in the house that your mother and I provided for you. And then you can leave and never come back since this town needs you just about as much as I need a hole in the head. Do I make myself clear?”

“Crystal.”

So, Chrissy did as she was told. She stood between her father and her brother at the cemetery and tried to look as hurt on the outside as she felt on the inside. She tossed a flower into the grave just like everyone else even though she felt nothing for the woman in that casket. At the luncheon afterwards, she sat quietly at the table reserved for her family. She acknowledged people when they spoke to her, but otherwise, she said nothing. She barely touched the plate in front of her, mostly just rearranging the food with her fork and never actually bringing said fork to her mouth. It struck her that her mother would have been so proud of her for not eating, and it took everything in her not to scream.

But, worst of all, she ignored Steve for the rest of the day. She let her father lead her away from him at the cemetery, and she said nothing when her father told him that their table was for family only. She didn’t acknowledge him or move when he asked her if she wanted to go somewhere and get some fresh air. She let her dad tell him to go away. She couldn’t see him right now. Not when she knew that she had to leave and break both of their hearts again.

As soon as she was back at her father’s house, she was ripping off that god awful funeral dress and pantyhose not caring if any of her clothes were damaged. She was going to associate that simple black dress with this rotten day for the rest of her life, so it could burn for all she cared. She was never going to wear it again anyway.

Once she’d changed back into her sweats and scrubbed the little makeup she’d put on off of her face, she made her way into the kitchen and heated up what was left of the tater tot hotdish that Mrs. Henderson had made and brought it out to the front porch. She couldn’t breathe in that house, and if she wanted any chance of actually enjoying her dinner, she was going to eat it while sitting on the porch swing and pretending that she was already back in Maine where nothing in Hawkins could hurt her.

She’d barely taken the first bite when Steve’s car pulled into the driveway, and she completely lost her appetite. She should have known that he’d show up to talk to her, but she was too focused on getting away from her dad to think clearly. Now, he was here, and she couldn’t hide from the pain she was going to cause him.

He bounded up the porch steps and was sitting next to her before she had a chance to get away. Her nerves were raw from everything that had already happened that day, and she didn’t have the energy to deal with this, too. Part of her knew that Steve would be on her side if she told him what her dad had said to her. He’d be supportive and caring and angry on her behalf. He’d reassure her that she was wanted, and he’d convince her to stay when all she wanted to do was disappear back into the life she’d made for herself. There might not have been much to her life out there, but at the very least, she felt safe. She couldn’t say the same for Hawkins.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. “You shut me out all day, and I was really worried about you.”

“I’m fine,” she said as she leaned into his embrace. She felt so guilty accepting his comfort when she knew she didn’t deserve it. She felt like she was using him, but she couldn’t help that he was the only thing that made her feel even remotely okay right now.

“My dad and I got into a fight in the car on the way to the cemetery, and it was easier to just shut everything out than it was to be an active participant in anything that was going on.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I can’t think of anything I want to do less.”

She swirled her fork through what was left in the casserole dish, but she made no moves to actually eat anything.

“Is that Mrs. Henderson’s?” he asked her.

She nodded.

“You know, I still go to Sunday family dinner at her house every week. I bet she’d be really excited if you came to the next one with me. It could be just like old times.”

She could tell he was trying to make her feel better. Doing whatever he could to get her to smile and erase whatever pain the events from that day had inflicted. But his kindness was what finally broke her and caused the wall that she'd built to hold in all of the horrible thoughts she had about herself to shatter. She set the casserole dish aside on the small table next to the porch swing to ensure that she wouldn’t drop it and break it as her body shook from her sobs.

Steve’s hold on her only grew tighter as he moved to rub her back. He didn't know what he could have said to have caused this, but she was starting to scare him.

"Please talk to me," he urged her. "I can't help if I don't know what's wrong."

"There's nothing you can do."

"Try me. I hate seeing you like this."

Chrissy wondered if he'd feel the same when he knew why she was crying. He'd probably think she deserved to feel as awful as she did. She just had to rip the bandaid off and tell him the truth. It was the only way.

"I can't go to Sunday family dinner at the Hendersons' with you," she said as she wiped at her eyes with the back of her sleeve.

"Is that what this is about?" he asked, giving her a small squeeze. "We don't have to go to dinner over there if you don't want to. I mean, I don't see any reason why you wouldn't want to go because she's always loved you, and she's probably the best cook in Hawkins, but if there's some weird reason why you can't go over there, we can do something else. It's not the end of the world."

"It feels like it is."

"Then clue me in on what's going on. You're starting to scare me here."

Chrissy took a deep breath. It was now or never, and choosing never felt almost too cruel. She couldn't disappear from his life without telling him. He deserved better than that.

"It's not that I don't want to have dinner there. Nothing would make me happier. It's that I can't be there . . . My train leaves first thing tomorrow morning, and I don't know when I'll be back."

"You're leaving?"

She nodded but said nothing. She couldn't verbalize this any more than she absolutely had to.

"I just assumed that after the funeral, there was nothing left to keep you away."

"I thought so, too, but that fight with my dad made me realize that her being gone doesn't change the fact that nobody wants me here."

"That's not true."

"It is. Half the town hates me for what I did to you when I left, and the other half is going to hate me the second my dad tells them what a horrible, ungrateful disappointment of a daughter I turned out to be. My only choice is to go back to Maine and stop hurting people because that's apparently the only thing I'm actually good at."

"But you leaving hurts me. You have to know that."

He took her hands in his and held on tight as if somehow that simple action could keep her tied to him and prevent her from leaving. He felt like it was seven years ago all over again. The only difference was that Chrissy actually seemed to be hurting this time.

"Even if I stayed, it wouldn't work between us. Your best friend thinks I'm the scum of the earth and all but told me that when I ran into her on my first day back in town. She told me not to tell you that I was back because she was afraid that I would end up hurting you again, and I hate that she was right."

"What about last night then?" he asked. "I thought that it meant something to you like it did to me. Maybe it was stupid of me to think that, but it felt like something was starting up between us again."

"That's the worst part," she said as she stared down at where he was still holding her hands, seemingly clinging to what little hope there was that he could change her mind. "I managed to trick myself into believing that I could be happy here. Last night was a dream that I've had so many times since I left, and I wish I could stay in it forever. But that's the thing with dreams: you always have to wake up and face reality in the end."

"You could be happy here. You're just afraid to try, and once again, I'm the one who ends up getting hurt."

"Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted to do, and I hate that this is happening all over again. That was never my intention, and I'm so sorry that I can't be the girl that you wanted me to be."

For the first time, Chrissy looked into Steve's eyes, and it pained her to see that they were glassy with the tears that he was trying so desperately to hold in.

"Why am I never enough for you?" he asked. "I spent so much time beating myself up over how I wasn't good enough for you to stay, and I refuse to do that again, so the least you can do is give me an honest answer."

"You were always enough for me. You're perfect. I wouldn't change a thing about you, how you treated me, or the way you loved me."

"Then why aren't you willing to stay and try for me?"

"Don't you get it?" she asked. "I'm the one who isn't enough. I never have been. I'm the one who can't live up to anyone's expectations. You deserve so much better than the broken girl that everyone else throws away. I'm not good enough for you."

The tears were streaming down her cheeks now, and there was nothing she could do to stop them. She'd thought that their fight before she left for college was bad, but that pain felt like nothing compared to this.

"I know you said you could never hate me, but I wish you would," she told him. "Learn to hate me, so it gets easier to find someone better. Find that hypothetical girlfriend of yours that I hate so much and let her love you the way that you deserve. Whatever makes you happy."

Steve dropped her hands and got up from his seat. He hesitated in leaving though.

"You've always been enough for me, Chrissy. I'll never understand why you can't see that, but if that's the way you really feel, there's nothing else I can do to change your mind. Have a nice life, I guess."

With that, he made his way back to his car and drove off leaving Chrissy alone with her bad thoughts once more. Before she could fall apart again, she forced herself to get up and head back inside. She took the casserole dish up to her room with her. If she could find her appetite, she could eat while she packed. The sooner she was ready to leave the better.

Chrissy barely slept that night. She was restless, and the fact that she didn't feel safe in that house was making it worse. She felt trapped in a suffocating loop of not wanting to leave Steve and the happiness she thought that she could find with him and needing to get out of this town where she never felt like she really belonged.

She ended up turning in her rental car and arriving at the train station two hours before her train was going to be ready to board, so she found a quiet bench where she'd still be able to hear the station announcements and settled in to wait. She hadn't bothered to say goodbye before she left. She was pretty sure that her family wouldn't have cared if did. She was finally ready to put this town behind her.

She wondered, if she was so ready to leave, why she was spending the entirety of the time she had to wait for this train convincing herself that she was making the right decision in going. Maybe it made her a coward, but she knew she was taking the easy way out here. It just felt like the only choice she could make.

When it was finally time to board her train, she gathered up her belongings and made her way over to the platform. This was really it. She was going to get on that train, and it was highly possible that Hawkins was never going to see her again. She was just about to step on when she hesitated. She thought she heard someone calling after her, but she thought her mind was playing tricks on her.

"Chrissy! Wait!"

The voice was louder this time, and she turned to find Steve running towards her holding what looked like a fully packed duffle bag.

She stepped back from the platform and started to walk towards him. Maybe she'd fallen asleep on that bench waiting for the train. Maybe she was asleep right now, and she'd dreamed him up. That was the only explanation for why he'd be here right now.

"Steve? What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I'm coming with you," he told her.

"You are?"

"I am. Just bought my ticket and everything."

"But why? After yesterday, I assumed you were done with me for good."

"Maybe I should have been done with you. I don't know. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe this is the stupidest thing I've ever done in my whole life. I don't care. I made the biggest mistake of my life when I didn't run after you the last time you left, and I refuse to make that mistake again."

"But what about your life here? You have your business, and all of the important people in your life are here. I can't ask you to leave all of that behind. You'd be giving up your life for me, and I won't let you make that kind of sacrifice."

"Here's the thing," he said as he took a step closer to her. "I think you're running away from any potential happiness you might have because of whatever your dad said to you yesterday, and I need you to know that he was wrong."

"You don't even know what he said to me."

"I don't need to know what he said to know that he's an idiot, and he's never been right about anything. Yesterday, you told me that the whole town hated you, and you're wrong about that. Maybe you upset some people when you left, but if I don't hate you for it, I don't think any of them can hate you either. And anyone who would take your dad's side in this isn't someone you want in your life anyway."

He set his duffle bag on the ground and moved to take Chrissy's hands in his.

"I couldn't sleep, so I was up all night thinking about this, and this is the way I see things going. I'm going to go back to Maine with you, and we'll spend a few weeks there together. I don't have any big jobs lined up right now, and I've got enough money saved, so I think I'm deserving of at least two or three weeks of vacation time in coastal Maine with a beautiful woman. When those few weeks are up, you'll move back to Hawkins with me. You told me that you didn't have a steady job out there, and we could find you something that you love doing here until a counseling position opens up at one of the schools. We could make a life here together just like the one we used to dream about."

She could feel the tears starting to prickle in the corners of her eyes. She couldn't believe that he was really here and asking her to stay. She wanted to say yes more than anything, but she still had her hesitations.

"Where will I live?" she asked. "I can't go back to my dad's house. Not after everything that was said this week."

"I mean, I thought it was obvious that you'd be moving in with me? But if that's moving too fast for you, we could keep separate bedrooms at first. I kind of have a pretty nice extra bedroom, you know."

"And what about Robin? I don't think she'll ever forgive me for leaving you before. I don't want to come between you two."

"She'll come around eventually. Once she sees how happy you make me."

"But what about -"

"Stop trying to come up with reasons to stay away," he interrupted her. "You told me you'd put my happiness before yours every time, remember? Well, you're what's going to make me happy. You coming back here with me will make me happy. Why can't you admit that this will make you happy, too? You deserve happiness, Chrissy. Screw anyone who's ever made you feel otherwise."

"That was really sneaky," she said as her tears finally started to fall. "Using my words against me like that."

He dropped her hands and moved to cradle her face, wiping away her tears with the pads of his thumbs.

"Gotta use every available weapon in my arsenal."

"It won't be easy, you know. Convincing me that I deserve to be loved. I'm kind of a mess."

"And I'm up for the challenge."

"There might be days where I feel like running away and hiding from the world under that quilt I love so much."

"Then I'll hide there with you. It'll be you and me against the world."

"I like the sound of that."

"So is that a yes?" he asked. "You're choosing Hawkins?"

"No," she told him. "I'm choosing us."

Steve dropped his hands from her face and moved to wrap his arms around her waist. He lifted her into the most bone-crushing hug, and she burst out in laughter as he spun her around. When he stopped spinning, it was her turn to cradle his face in her hands as she leaned in to capture his lips in the first kiss of their new relationship.

When they broke apart, Steve's face was lit up with what was maybe the biggest smile that Chrissy had ever seen grace his features.

"I love you," he told her.

"I love you, too," she replied. "More than I'll ever be able to express in words."

"You've got two days on a train to start."

"And then for the rest of our lives?"

"I can't wait."

So, with Steve's hand in hers, Chrissy got on the train, and for the first time in a long time, the idea of having to eventually go back to Hawkins didn't sound so bad.

#cheerscoops #my writing #cheerscoopsweek23 #steve x chrissy #stissy #chrissy x steve #harringham #chrissy cunningham x steve harrington #steve harrington x chrissy cunningham

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wheretheresaway-theresawilliam · 4 months

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Chapter 15: Death of A Mother

Word Count: 565

TWs: Death, overdose, animal death

⛤⛤⛤

After that afternoon, things started going back to normal in the Afton household, even “without” Evan. William kept the house neat and tidy, cared for his children as much as he allowed himself, and quietly worked on both his experiments and the future of Fredbear’s. He’d already penned a new name and had optimism about expanding the brand; Fazbear Entertainment Company, owners of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. He had been crunching the numbers when someone began pounding on his office door.

“What, what is it, is the house on fire--?” William asked, equally startled and annoyed as he opened the door.

“Margarete’s not breathing,” Michael spoke breathlessly. “I-I tried CPR since I couldn’t hear her heart, either, b-but I think it’s a no-go, dad…”

“Jesus,” William exclaimed, pushing past his son, “Where is she?”

“Her studio.”

William rushed to the other side of the house, but it was clear from the scene she had finally overdosed, slack-jawed, glassy-eyed, and completely unresponsive.

“Don’t let Elizabeth see,” William commanded as Michael appeared behind him. He turned very seriously to his son. “Are we both in agreement that Margarete will be dealt with much swifter and more quietly than Evan was?”

Michael swallowed. “Meaning?”

“Preferably, there won’t be a funeral, and we won’t let this burden our lives any more than it needs to.”

“You’re a cold, cold bastard, dad…”

“Don’t tell me you had an ounce of affection for her…?”

He shook his head.

“That’s what I thought. Distract your sister while I call for an ambulance.”

With Margarete gone from their lives, the Aftons were set on a new path. William felt more pressure than ever to distance himself from this dark spot on his timeline, and he was reaching the end of his rope with Evan. While he proposed the new business venture to Henry and worked on plans with him in the daytime, he found himself buying rats from the local pet store to experiment on at night. He always made sure Evan was “asleep” before he killed the poor animals, trying to recreate whatever caused his son to become one with this machine. He hadn’t had any luck yet. Did it have something to do with the animatronic itself? Surely intelligence had nothing to do with it, for where was he going to get his hands on something more intelligent than a rat? Perhaps it was the size of the vessel, then.

Through the winter and into the spring, William made quick work of missing pets and strays. He was almost having success with some of the dogs, but it wasn’t quite the same. The animal souls could make the animatronic parts move, but didn’t seem to have much interest in the matter… or perhaps they weren’t strong enough, whatever that meant in terms of souls.

Freddy’s was about halfway finished with being built and had been a great success in getting people’s minds off of what had happened to the youngest Afton boy and Mr. Afton’s wife. William never felt more accomplished in his designs. These were flawless, with never-before-thought-of safety features. All new characters to appeal to new demographics; Bonnie the Bunny, Chica the Chicken, Foxy the Fox, and of course the overarching face of the new restaurant, Freddy Fazbear himself. And with plans to make Norman Verne his personal assistant and secretary, nothing could possibly get any worse than it had.

#short chapter since my creative juices just weren't flowing today #i'm distracted by other ideas #fnaf #fnaf au #fnaf fic #william afton #accursed heritage au

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nightowlfandom · 3 years

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Billy Loomis and Stu Macher x Reader- 27 (Part 3/Finale)

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Alright you weenies, here’s the last part of 27....

I realized I’ve also made an error, I forgot that they already killed her other boyfriend, so let’s say the ex they killed in the previous chapter was a different ex.

leggo

...

Today was the day and you were excited.

Vengeance, the cherry on top, the final piece of this damned puzzle. You had snapped. You were completely bloodthirsty now and you WISHED someone would try to stop you. You had come a long way. A VERY long way. It was safe to say both Billy and Stu rubbed off on you a tremendous amount and you were absolutely fucking ready!

It didn’t help that you had two killers hyping you up to all hell. From Billy whispering how many hours were left in the day to Stu commenting about how hot he’d think it would be to have sex in a pool of blood.

When it came time to leave, the boys offered to walk you home.

“So who you gonna get first?” Billy held your hand as Stu stood your opposite side with an arm around your shoulder.

“Definitely the old man.” you declared. “I want to watch the life leave his eyes. He’s the reason behind all this.”

“How so?” Stu asked.

“He’s convinced I’m not really his child, he’s been trying to get me out of that house since I turned 12...” the guys noticed your significant mood change. “Nevermind that.” you shook your head. “My mom can fuck off with the rest of them, her and her can-do-no-wrong, perfect home bullshit.” you seethed. “I’ll explain while everything’s going down.”

...

“I’m home...if anyone gives a shit.” you grumbled the last part. You walked in to see your mother and father along with Hannah’s mother and father. They were all sitting at the table. Hannah’s mom and dad were bawling their yes out while your parents comforted them.

“Y/N...I’m glad your here.” you father spoke up. “We were talking about funeral arrangements.”

“For the daughter you wish you had instead of me? Not interested.” you rolled your eyes. “If you need me, I’ll be doing homework. Parentals, friends. Friends parentals.” you shortly introduced Billy and Stu to your folks.

“Nice to meet you.” Billy managed to express. Stu put on a fake smile and waved.

“Keep your door open so we can hear you!”

“Why would I close the door? You guys would just kick it open anyways.” you grunted.

You had no reason to be cordial with your family anymore, just because they wanted to put on a show for your guests, you’d give them a damn show.

“Y/N don’t talk to your mother like that.”

“Then I’ll talk to Hannah’s family.” you turned to the two mortified adults.

You could see Billy and Stu out of the corner of your eyes, both looking like they were about to burst out laughing.

“Y/N we have nothing against you.” Hannah’s mom wept. “We knew Hannah could be a bit much.”

“Hannah was much? Oh No Mrs. Doyle. Your husband screwing around with your teenage secretary was much.” you crossed your arms. “Your daughter was a fucking nightmare and I’m glad no one has to put up with her shit anymore.”

You wanted to see just how far you could take this before your parents exploded.

“Y/N L/N!” Your father rose from his seat, ready to storm over.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Stu was first to stand in front of you. “Mr. L/N with all due respect, I’d advise you against that.”

“And just who do you think you are?”

“The man whose about to be responsible for your funeral if you take another step.” Billy stood next to Stu, the both of them making a human wall, separating you from them. “Geez Y/N you weren’t kidding.”

“You should see our security camera footage.” you scoffed.

“Well this has been a lovely chat but we really must be going.” Mrs. Doyle stood to her feet.

“Oh nononono~” Billy sang with conviction. “Sit your asses down...let’s play a little game.” (I know Saw hadn’t been made yet, just go with it.)

...

Watching back the camera footage hurt a lot more than you thought it would. You couldn’t imagine how everyone else was feeling. Both of Hannah’s parents were tied up with blindfolds over their eyes. Stu had knocked out your dad and tied him to the table while Billy handled your mom, duct-taping her hands and wrists to a chair...

“Look at that. An innocent little girl...” Billy shook his head as he listed to your parents berate you to your face. You blocked everything out while you watched. How Hannah and her would smile in your face all the while being your biggest tormentors. How you couldn’t tell your mother or father because they never believed you the first ten times you tried.

It was all crashing down on you now.

There was an eerie silence as your crying voice filled your own ears. You were used to crying yourself to sleep by that time. All of this happening a little before you met the boys.

“Y/N, whatever you have to tell us, we don’t have to involve them.” your mother sobbed.

“Mommy....you’re crying.” your voice broke as you opened your mouth to speak for the first time in a couple of hours. “But what about when I was crying?....What about when I was in the hospital scared for my life? What about when you guys were threatening to ship me across country....” much like you did with Hannah, you kicked the chair sending your mother falling back.

“And you.” you turned towards your dad. “I know you don’t believe I’m your biological daughter...and guess what...I hope I’m not either.” you growled, staring down at the now cowering man. “You are pathetic...both of you.” you turned back towards the TV screen. A video of you in your bedroom (since your parents didn’t believe in privacy) was playing. You were on the phone with your friend Kyla.

“No, no I know Ky.” you laughed. You had a much different laugh than you do now. “...I don’t know, it’s hard to trust cute faces like theirs.”

Your eyes widened as you listened to what you were saying. Before you could go to turn it off, Stu had taken you in a hug. “Oh no princess, don’t be rude...let the video play!”

“Do I like them?....Maybe...okay totally!” you watched yourself squeal as you threw the pillow you were hugging across the room. “Kyla I wish you were here to see them THEY ARE SO-” you covered your mouth to stop from shouting too loud. “They are so cute and so hot and they wanna be seen with me!...of all people! No I’m not gonna make a move on them.”

“Awww Y/N has a crushy wushy on us!” Stu gushed. “We love you too baby!” Stu abruptly kissed you, right there. You almost forgot Billy was standing there.

“Woah...” you almost lost balance.

“Young lady! How dare you-” You father tried to said.

“Oh shut up!” Stu took it upon himself to finish the job.

(OKAY SHEILD YOUR EYES NOW)

Stu wrapped a hand around your dad’s neck and applied pressure, so much to the point where his face went blue within a mere 5 seconds. Stu laughed maniacally, only seeming to tighten his grip while Billy continued to antagonize your mother, laughing in her face while she watched the horror happen with her husband.

“Y/N...why?” your dad choked as he struggled.

“Why not...and while we’re here.” you shrugged. “I killed Hannah.”

“WHAT?”

You almost forgot Hannah’s parents were in the room, listening to everything go down.

“Oh yeah.” you shrugged. “Bitch had it coming...the better question is what should I do to you two.” you crossed your arms as you thought.

...(Time skip)

“Pretty isn’t it.” You gazed up at the stars.

“Not as pretty as you.” Billy flirted, using his sleep to wipe your face. As you all sat on the front steps of your porch, ambulances and cop cars lined up the street for many blocked.

“I agree.” Stu wrapped an arm around you waist. “Be honest, how do you feel?”

“I feel free.” you replied, letting out a large sigh. The cops had just finished questioning you. Your story was clear. Your dad lunged at your mom first and Hannah’s parents saw too much...then he accidently tripped and hung himself. Perfect crime. Billy and Stu were walking by when they heard your cries for help and they hopped in.

As to how you three managed to escape unscathed, they got you out of there in time just as he was hanging himself. As for the tapes playing on the T.V...they were watching old videos to find something to ground you for. (Something they usually did anyways.)

“Good.”

“I just don’t know where I’m gonna live now. My aunt lives the next city over and that’s a long drive.”

“Hm...just gonna have to live with us now!” Stu shrugged, we’ll all be like a married couple!

“All...as in-”

“Yes, the three of us.” Billy grabbed your attention. “Lucky you, eh?” He pecked your lips when the officers wasn’t looking just as Stu planted a smooch on the back of your head.

“Young lady.” the officer walked up to you three. “You’re lucky to have escaped them, that psychopath stabbed your mother 27 times...who does that?!”

You paused before you gave your answer. “I guess he was just fed up, officer.”

Stu tried hard to contain his laughter while Billy coughed into his hand, you all knowingly shared a look.

Yes...fed up indeed.

(So...I guess this slasher stuff might be a regular thing...I kinda like it)

#slasher imagines #slasher fan fiction #imagines #slashers #slashers x reader #billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #stu macher x reader #ghostface imagines #billy x reader x stu #scream imagines #billy loomis imagines #stu macher imagines #horror imagines #polyghostface

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years

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Seasons of PD: Season 2: Will’s Back...and There’s a Bomb (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

Your age: 14

Jay's age: 28

Will's age: 30

"Spoke to Dad," Will said to Jay as the two brothers were sat in Jay's apartment sipping their respective beers. "Said you two barely talk. Said if it wasn't for Y/N, you probably wouldn't see him at all."

"I mean, he's not wrong." Jay shrugged.

"Care to elaborate on that?"

"Not really, but you should've been here. You should've been home. Mom was dyin'. You were off partyin'."

"You left," Will said as he set his beer down and leaned forward on the couch.

"I left to fight a war. I came home. And you know why that was?" he asked rhetorically. "It was because my humvee hit an IED and me and Mouse were the only two who survived! And because Mom was sick! I came back for Mom and I came back traumatized! Nothing bad even happened to you in New York and you left two fucking days after her funeral, man!"

Luckily Will hadn't been holding his beer or he would've dropped it right then and there. "Jay, I- I never knew it was so hard for you to come Stateside again."

"Forget it. You weren't there then, what makes me think you're gonna be here now? You're probably taking off in another few days anyway, am I right? Not even gonna go see Y/N? Even though she always wants help on her math homework from you and you don't even have the decency to answer her phone calls!"

"I'm sorry that I don't have my phone on me when I'm performing surgeries, Jay!"

Jay's phone rang, stopping the argument in its tracks. "Speak of the devil," Jay mumbled and then answered the call. "Hey, Y/N, what's up?"

"I don't understand this stupid homework," you groaned from your desk in your bedroom at home. "Why do I even need to know the equation of a line, anyway? It's not like I'm even gonna use it in life anyway."

"Y/N, like I've told you numerous times, I can help you if it's a single variable problem, but anything more than that, I forgot how to do it. Not really helping your teacher's case for actually using this in life, am I?"

"Yeah, not at all. I guess I'll just try and call Will...he's not gonna answer anyway, but I guess it's worth a shot."

"Wait, how about you FaceTime me?" Jay suggested.

"Why? You already admitted that you can't help me."

"Just do it."

"Okay, gimme a few minutes. I gotta switch devices."

"Oh yeah. You don't have an iPhone yet, only an iPod and a slide phone. Sucks to be you."

"Well, I'm sorry that I don't have a grown-up job and can buy my own stuff, Jay."

"And with buying your own stuff and having a grown-up job comes bills. So, be glad you can't legally work yet."

You rolled your eyes. "I'll call you back in a few minutes. And, whatever this is, better be able to help me with this homework since math is my first class tomorrow."

"It'll help. I promise."

"Hmmm, sure." Then, you hung up and switched to your iPod, and hit the FaceTime icon.

"You look like- you look tired," Jay said when he accepted the FaceTime call. He almost said that you looked like hell, but he figured he shouldn't say that.

"Thanks," you replied sarcastically. "You would be, too, if you've been staring at the same problem on your homework for the past hour."

"What's the equation you have to work with?" Jay asked.

"Y=mx+b," you answered.

"Yeah, vaguely remember that. Don't know what it means, just remember hearing it a bunch. Will, you know what that equation is and how to do it?"

"Will's at your house? I thought he wasn't getting back for another week."

"I thought so, too. And then I got called to a bar today because he was being stupid--"

"Hey, I was not stupid!" Will protested.

"Fine. He was being dumb and tried to break up a fight. And, now I think he's got a job at Chicago Med because he got fired in New York--"

"Y/N," Will butted in, "you said you needed help with your homework?"

"Yeah."

"Jay, can you please give me the phone so I can help our little sister with her homework please?"

"Uh, fine. She'll know why you left New York eventually," Jay said as he passed his phone to his older brother.

"Eventually. But not tonight." He turned to Jay. "Can you get me a piece of paper? I'd grab it but I have no idea where you keep stuff in this little bachelor pad of yours."

"Like you didn't snoop through my stuff when I was at work," Jay joked and stood up to get Will a piece of paper.

"Y/N, for Christmas I'm getting you a subscription to Chegg so you don't need to call me for this."

"I'm holding you to that one."

***

God, I hate running on the track. It's literally just running in circles and seeing the same things over and over, no variety in the scenery whatsoever. I wish I could run with Emma, but she's way faster than me, so she's ahead of me by like one or two laps. Uh, this song sucks! I gotta skip--

"Run lockdown! Run lockdown!"

What? Run lockdown? What is the high school cross country coach talking about? Maybe it's just something that the high schoolers have to do for their drills because I sure have never heard of that one.

But then, you saw Emma jogging toward the bathrooms a few yards away from the track.

What the hell?

You ran towards the bathrooms a few yards away from the track and didn't stop until you'd caught up with Emma. "What's going on?"

"No idea. Something about a lockdown."

Once all of you and your coach, Mrs. Rivers, were safely in the bathroom with the door locked, did you get any closure about what was going on.

"There's been a bomb threat."

"What? A bomb threat?"

"What?!"

"So we can't leave?"

"Girls, I need you to be quiet, okay? The police are looking into it, but for now, the campus is on lockdown and we can't leave here until I get the all-clear. The school's already notified parents, so if someone else is picking you up today other than your parents, you need to call them. Just ask and you can use my phone. Everything's going to be okay, though. We have nothing to worry about. We just need to sit tight until I'm told we can leave." Her phone buzzed and you all held your breath. "Looks like Miss G got stuck in the boys' bathroom with all the stinky football boys."

"What if we walk home?" you asked quietly.

"If you walk home, a parent or someone else will have to pick you up since they don't want anybody walking home because, as of right now, they have no idea who did this."

***

"How's your brother doing?" Erin asked as she and Jay were standing around the coffee pot in the break room.

"Pretty sure he's going to quit the new job he just got at Med even though it's his first day," Jay answered.

"What? He got a job at Med?"

"Yeah. Apparently, they were looking for ER docs and he got the job. But, for some reason, now he wants to quit. And, he was late today. Decided to bitch to me about only having almond milk and not having any regular milk in my fridge. Like, dude, you're staying with me. You can deal with a bit of almond milk."

"I don't blame him," Erin laughed. "Almond milk is disgusting."

"But it's better for you...and cheaper."

"Of course that's your reason for getting it."

"Halstead!" Antonio yelled. "Your phone's been ringing off the hook for the last minute. I think it's important."

"Be right there!" Jay quickly poured himself a cup of coffee and then rushed over to his desk.

"Shit," he muttered.

"Who was it?" Erin asked as she emerged from the breakroom, holding her own cup of coffee.

"Y/N," he answered as he fiddled with his phone. "Called me three times in the past minute."

"Any idea what it's about?"

"No, but I'm about to find out."

"Jay!" you whisper-yelled from the other end of the line.

"Y/N, what's wrong? Why are you calling me so much? Are you sick? Do you need me to--"

"There's a bomb."

Jay almost dropped his phone. "A bomb? Are you sure?"

At the mention of a bomb, everyone's heads snapped towards him.

"Yeah, we're hiding out in the bathrooms near the football field right now until they get the all-clear," you told him. "But, they can't let people walk home from school today and Dad's not answering and it's Will's first day, so I was wondering if you could pick me up?"

"Yeah, yeah, I can do that. Do you mind if I put you on speaker for a quick second?"

"Why? I'm fine Jay, really. Just needed to know if you can pick me up."

Innocent fourteen-year-olds, Jay thought to himself. Of course, she just called to pick to see if you'd pick her up. She hasn't grasped the gravity of the situation, and she's probably thinking that this is just another story to tell. Not that if there's actually a bomb at her school that she could be dead any second if it goes off.

"You're sure you don't want me to stay on the phone with you?"

"You can go."

"Okay. Just, listen to the adult that's in there with you, okay?"

"Okay, okay. Bye."

"Bye I love--" He was cut off by the beep which signaled that you had hung up. "--you."

"What's going on? A bomb?" Erin asked, but Jay was already making his way down the stairs.

"Sarge!" Jay yelled as he made his way to the front desk.

"Well, hello to you too, Chuckles. If you're looking for Voight, he's just meeting with a CI and should back soon," Platt told him.

"Sargeant, all due respect, I don't give a damn about Voight right now. I just need to know if you have any idea about the bomb threat at Central Chicago's high school and middle school campuses?"

"I know that they sent someone from bomb squad and some patrolmen over there to see if there's anyone who seems suspicious--"

"Why wasn't Intelligence notified?"

Platt's jaw dropped and she stared at Jay for a second before speaking. "Because last I checked, detective, those schools weren't in our district--"

Jay slammed his hand down on the desk. "Jay," Erin said and grabbed her partner's arm. "I need you to calm down for a second, okay?"

"I don't need to calm down, Erin," Jay spat. "I have every reason--"

"I understand, but being pissed at Platt here isn't going to fix anything. Go back upstairs and I'll be there in a second."

Jay ripped his arm from Erin's grip and stalked upstairs, not without slamming the gate when he was safely inside the Intelligence Unit's area of the 21st District.

"What's his deal?" Platt asked. "I have half a mind to write him up for insubordination for that little scene he just caused."

"Sarge," Erin started, "the school that called in the bomb threat, that's the school Y/N goes to, Jay's little sister."

"What? I thought that only elementary school kids were at school right now?"

"That's true unless there are sports practices."

"And Y/N's in a sport, so she's at school right now." Platt put the pieces together.

"Yeah. And, I know that family isn't supposed to work cases, but could you maybe make an--"

"Erin, go grab Halstead and Dawson, get down to the school. I'll send the information upstairs to Atwater and Ruzek and they can see what they can get. I'll also call Voight and tell him to meet you there."

"Thank you, Sargeant!"

Erin jogged upstairs and into the bullpen. "Jay, Antonio, we're heading to the school! Kev and Adam, Platt said that you're working the case from up here. Voight will meet us there."

"Copy that," Kevin answered.

Jay holstered his gun and was halfway down the stairs before Kevin even finished his sentence.

***

"Kev, what do we know?" Jay asked as they were driving over to your school.

"Uh, I pulled footage from the high school's office and apparently an unknown dude walked in, asked a question, and then walked out all in the span of less than a minute," he answered.

"Can you run facial rec?"

"Nah, not a good enough angle."

"Description?"

"Dude looks Indian or Middle-Eastern to me. He's got short, black hair. Some stubble, not a ton, but it's enough that you can see it even with the bad angle I got. He's kinda chubby, too. Wearing a tan jacket. That's all I got."

"Thanks, man. That helps. Anything from bomb squad?"

"They haven't located a bomb yet, so I guess that's a good sign, right?"

"It is if there's no bomb," Jay replied. "But, just because they haven't found it, doesn't mean there's not a bomb. Whoever the hell did this could've just hid it really well or do whatever a psycho does when they want to blow up a school full of kids."

Jay relayed the information to Erin and Antonio who were also in the car and then hung up his phone. "Any word from Voight or anyone else when I was on the phone?"

"No, you want me to go to the middle school or the high school?" Erin asked.

"Wherever you can get in."

"Jay, we have badges, we can get in anywhere."

"Middle school then. I'm assuming that's where Y/N is."

"Okay."

"Wait!" Jay exclaimed, almost causing Erin to slam on the brakes. "When I was talking to Y/N earlier, she said that she was in the bathrooms near the football field so we need to go to the high school."

"You're sure it's that field? Isn't there a football field at the middle school, too?"

"That's just a shitty practice field," he answered. "Anyway, the high school football field is the only one that has bathrooms near it so that spectators can go to the bathroom when they go to the football games."

"I shouldn't have to tell you this, Jay," Antonio started, "But you can't just burst into the locker rooms and try to get Y/N out of there. No parents are allowed in or out to pick up their kids. And, you're no different. You have to wait for the all-clear to get her out of there."

Jay hated it, but Antonio was right. No matter how much he wanted to get you as far away from this campus as possible, he couldn't until the bomb squad made sure that there wasn't a bomb anywhere near here. If his time in the Rangers had taught him anything, it was that one misstep, and the whole place could get blown up in a nanosecond.

Erin started to pull into the parking lot of the high school near all the cop cars, when one turned on their sirens and pulled in front of them, effectively stopping them from getting any further.

"I know you're worried about your kids," the patrolman said once Erin rolled down her window, "But we can't let anyone in or out until this is all sorted."

"We're not parents." Erin pulled out her badge. "Detectives Lindsay, Dawson, and Halstead from the 21st District's Intelligence Unit."

He looked at the officer next to him. "Desk Sergeant from the 21st said that there'd be some detectives coming." He pushed the button on his radio before anybody could tell him otherwise. "I got the detectives from the 21st here right now."

"Copy," the person on the other end said.

Jay wanted to jump out of the vehicle and strangle that patrolman with his bare hands. "Are you fucking insane?" he yelled.

The one who keyed his radio stepped out of the patrol car, and Jay did the same. "Are you Dawson or Halstead?"

"Halstead. But you, you must be new here because if there is one thing you absolutely do not do when there's even the mention of a bomb is key your radios."

"No offense, detective," the patrolman in the driver's seat started, "but everyone here has been using their radios since we stepped onto this campus."

"There's no bomb," Erin muttered.

They all knew what the patrolman's statement meant: if they had been using their radios the entire time they were here and a bomb hadn't gone off, then there was no bomb to begin with.

Antonio and Erin both stepped out of the car now.

"Who's your sergeant?" Antonio yelled.

"Why? Why do you care?"

"Because of what he just said! You can't key your radios when there might be a bomb, so I think your whole district might need to go back in for a mandatory re-training!"

"I'll call Voight," Erin said.

"Fucking idiots," Jay muttered as he pulled out his phone.

As soon as he was about to dial your number, a call came in from Kevin. "There's no bomb," Jay said as soon as he answered, not even giving Kevin time to tell him anything.

"I mean, yeah, I was callin' to tell you that the bomb squad just declared an all-clear."

"Thanks."

"How'd you know before we even got the call here at the district?"

"They were keying their radios the entire time and nothing happened."

"Yeah, that'll do it."

"We should be back at the district soon."

Jay hung up and made his way to the bathrooms.

You were sitting in silence with Emma next to you when a banging was heard coming from outside causing you to jump.

What if that's the bomber and he's got a gun and wants to kill us before the bomb can get to us? It was irrational, yes, but it was still possible.

"Chicago PD! This is the all-clear."

It was as if everyone in the bathroom let out a collective breath at hearing that there was no bomb or that the bomb had been dismantled.

"Alright girls, you heard the man, we are good to go," Mrs. Rivers said. "Let's head back to the middle school so you can grab your stuff and start getting back to your parents. Was everyone able to get ahold of someone to pick them up? Because I can bring people home if necessary."

All of you filed out of the bathrooms and into the crisp fall air. You were barely onto the sidewalk when you got pulled into a bone-crushing hug.

"Who the--" You looked up. "Hi, Jay."

"Oh my God, you're okay. You don't know how worried I was--"

"Jay, I'm fine," you squeaked out. "But please let go. You're crushing me."

"Sorry, sorry," he apologized and then let go, not without looking you over for injuries even though you promised him that you were in fact fine.

"50-21 George, 50-21 Lincoln, 50-21 Frank, and 50-21 Squad, assistance is requested at Chicago Med for a 10-34. Are you able to assist?"

Jay's eyes went wide and his breath caught in his throat.

"Jay? Jay?" you asked. "You gonna answer that?"

"This is 50-21 Lincoln, hold us down on that 10-34 at Chicago Med," Erin's voice said through the radio.

"Halstead! We gotta go now!" Antonio yelled.

"Jay, what's going on? Will's at Med. What's happening?"

"Come with me," Jay said and then started ushering you towards the car.

"Shit," Erin said when she saw you. "Antonio, you wanna go with Voight, and then me and Jay will drop her off at home? We can't exactly bring her with us."

"Yeah, good idea." Antonio turned to you. "Glad you're safe, kid."

You nodded as he jogged off to find Voight. Then, you turned back to Jay. "Why are you going to Med? Whatever it is, I wanna go with you because what if Will's hurt? I wanna go!"

Jay got in the passenger seat without answering you and you got in the backseat. Erin started driving to the middle school so that you could go get your backpack from your locker.

Once inside school and connected to the wifi, you took out your iPod and pulled up google.

What does 10-34 mean?

The answer almost caused you to drop your iPod on the tiled floor.

10-34 is a police radio signal that means that a bomb threat has been called in.

You ran to your locker and with shaking hands, put in the combination. How was Jay so calm? How was he so calm when you were silently freaking out? And, to make matters worse, he got to work the case while you were going to be stuck going home and just waiting to see if Will (and Jay for the matter since he would no doubt be in the vicinity of the blast zone) was safe, just waiting to see if your oldest brother, who you just got back, would make it out of his new workplace alive.

You hustled out of school and then got into the backseat of Erin and Jay's car. "There's a bomb threat at Med?"

"Who told you that?" Erin asked, turning around in her seat.

"I googled what 10-34 meant. Jay, please, I wanna go with you. I don't wanna go home!"

"No! I know you wanna make sure that Will's safe, and I do too, but you gotta understand that it's not safe for you there, Y/N," he pleaded.

"It's not safe for you to be there, either!" you argued.

"Y/N, I know you're scared, but I'm trained for this kind of stuff. You are not."

"Please," you begged as your lip began to tremble. "I-It'd be faster for you to just go to Med from-from here instead of dropping me off at home."

"She's got a point, Jay," Erin said.

"What? No way, Er! There is no way in hell she is going in there with us!"

"She doesn't have to go past the tape with us. Just somewhere close by." Erin turned back to you. "Would that make you feel better, Y/N? Being somewhere close by?"

You nodded as you wiped away a tear.

Jay sighed. "Fine," he relented. "We'll drop you off at Mama Garcia's to get your homework done since it's a half-block away from the hospital."

"Will's okay, right? You checked in with him?" you asked.

"I haven't yet, but I promise you when I do, I will text you. I just need you to stay calm and focus on yourself right now. It's no use worrying about Will when you can't do anything about it."

"That's what Mom used to tell me when I was worried about you when you were in Afghanistan. She always told me that it's no use worrying about it since none of us were there with you."

"See, you gotta trust what Mom always told you, kiddo. She was a smart lady after all."

***

"Tell me you're not in there," Jay spoke into his phone as he and Erin walked into the police tent-like structure equipped with fancy tech gear outside of Chicago Med's emergency department.

"I am," Will answered, causing Jay's stomach to drop. "Listen, the guy who blew himself up in here, said he had something worse than Ebola."

"What, like he's spreading it since he blew himself up?"

"Yeah, so essentially, every single one of us in here has been in contact with him."

"Who was he?"

"No idea. But do us all a favor and find out."

"Son of a bitch," Jay muttered as he pocketed his phone and entered the tent-like structure where a bunch of people, including the FBI, were sitting at computers.

"Talk to Will?" Erin asked.

"Uh, yeah," Jay answered, "he says he's in there. Apparently whoever the hell blew himself up in there was infected with something that he said was worse than Ebola."

"So if these people get out before we figure out what it is and if it's treatable, we could have an epidemic on our hands?"

"Exactly. Damn, Er. With that mind of yours, you should've gone to med school."

"Very funny, Halstead. You're looking at someone who barely graduated high school and didn't even go to the academy because being in the back of cop cars on the eastside for half my childhood was more than enough experience to qualify me for this job right here."

"I'm gonna start making some calls." Jay turned his attention back to the situation at hand. "Apparently traffic was a mess earlier and Voight and Antonio got called to headquarters to brief some higher-ups about this."

"Fat chance of them knowing anything right now. They've gotta just be trying to keep all the info away from the press." Erin's phone rang. "Speak of the devil."

"I'll call HQ and try to get some more back up to control the situation," Jay said to no one in particular.

***

You kept fiddling with your slide phone, just opening and closing it as you tried--and failed--to focus on your homework as you sat in one of the far back booths at Mama Gracia's. The news was of course playing on the tv in front of you and all the headlines were about what was happening at Med.

"Again we have word of an event at Chicago Med," the news anchor read from her script. "The CFD was able to contain the victims to the ER, but Ebola was mentioned."

Ebola? That was the disease that wreaked havoc on Africa last year.

You knew Will was a doctor and that he was smart, but if he became infected and it was in fact Ebola, what if he died? What if, since Jay was close to Med that he somehow became infected and he died, too? What if you lost both your big brothers in the same amount of time because of some psychopath who decided it was a good idea to blow himself up and put innocent people--innocent first responders--in danger.

"Ay, cariña. ¿A dónde vayas?" Mama Garcia asked as you stood up and made your way to the door, intent on exiting the small restaurant.

"¿Qúe? No entiendo," you answered. You had started taking Spanish this year, so you only understood one word of what she had said to you.

"Sorry, honey. Where are you going? Your brother said to make sure you stayed here."

You and Jay were both pretty close with Mama Garcia. Seeing as it was very close to Med, when your mom had been hospitalized for cancer years ago, you'd always come in here to get dinner. It was here that Mama Garcia had taught you all the words of the toppings that one could put on their tamales, tacos, or burritos, shocking your Spanish teacher when you told her you could tell her in Spanish exactly what you would put on your tamale when you learned about food in class.

"I'm just going for a walk," you answered. "I need some fresh air."

"Okay, don't go far," she warned.

Once out the door, you breathed a sigh of relief and started to walk towards Chicago Med.

When you got close enough, you saw a big white tent and a bunch of fire trucks. You crept to the side and started walking around the side of the building, where there were barely any people and only one cop to keep people at bay. You smiled at him and watched the scene in front of you.

You had seen of those firefighters before on a rare day that you were at the district waiting for Jay and one of them had to walk the firehouse dog, Pouch. He was super cute and all the firefighters were really nice and let you pet him!

"What is it Casey?" a deep voice bellowed.

You knew Casey! Well, you knew of him at least. He was the one that Hermann always said would write him up if he was gone too long with Pouch, so that was always the excuse he gave you when he had to leave the district to go back to the firehouse.

You couldn't hear what Casey said on the other end, but you could hear whoever this guy was talking to Casey. "Okay, we're gonna need to get some CO2 extinguishers inside."

"You mean you're out of fire extinguishers?" a woman next to the firefighters asked.

"Afraid so."

You turned on your heels and sprinted back towards Mama Garcia's. You were a girl on a mission.

"Mama Garcia! Mama Garcia!" you shouted as soon as you were inside.

"Y/N, ¿Qúe pasa?" she asked as she stuck her head out of the kitchen where she was preparing a bunch of batches of tamales.

"They're out of fire extinguishers at the hospital, do you have any that I can bring over there?"

"You are just like your brother," she said, "super sneaky."

"When you live with older brothers and have to steal their Halloween candy, you learn how to be sneaky, Mama Garcia," you joked.

"I'm not even gonna ask how you know this. There's one fire extinguisher back by the bathrooms and I've got two back here I can give you. Esperes un minuto."

You went and grabbed the fire extinguisher from the spot where it was stored in the back by the bathrooms and waited for Mama Garcia to come out with the other two.

"Thank you!" you exclaimed as you took the big bag from her which contained the two other ones. She had put them in a bag for you since they were super heavy.

You slung the bag over your shoulder and carried the other one in your hand. You knew you couldn't run because these were really heavy, but you knew you had to get to Med to help them. Both your brothers were there! And you'd get there, even if it was a lot slower than you had originally planned when you formulated this plan when you were sprinting back to the restaurant five minutes ago.

***

"Is there a detective Halstead here?" a patrolman walked into the tent-like structure and asked.

"That'd be me," Jay answered as he raised his hand and turned away from the computer screen he had been looking at.

"There's a girl outside, Y/N I think she said her name was. Said you're her brother and that she's looking for you. Said she might be able to help."

Jay turned to Erin. "Go," she urged him.

Jay followed the patrol officer to where you were standing and to say he didn't look happy would be an understatement.

"I thought I told you to stay at Mama Garcia's!" he yelled over the crowd of people and the firefighters shouting out orders to each other. "It's dangerous for you here!"

"I know and I'm sorry! But, I came here to see if Will was outside, and I heard that one firefighter talking into his radio thingy, and then the lady next to him said that they were out of fire extinguishers."

Jay crossed his arms in front of his chest. He was not impressed.

"So I ran back to Mama Garcia's and I grabbed these." You held up the fire extinguisher that you had set on the ground next to you because you had been carrying it for a while now and you thought it was going to rip your arm off because of how heavy it was.

"Let her in," Jay declared.

He grabbed the extinguisher from you and then made his way over to the firefighters.

"Chief!" he yelled. "I've got some fire extinguishers here!"

Chief Boden cocked his head to the side. "How?"

"Apparently my little sister was here and she heard Ms. Goodwin say that you were out of extinguishers. So, she ran to Mama Garcia's and these are from her restaurant."

You set down the bag that contained the two fire extinguishers. "Geez, those things are heavy!"

"That they are. Thank you for these..." Chief Boden trailed off, not knowing your name.

"Y/N," you answered.

"Well, thank you Y/N."

"You're welcome, Chief. Please get my brother out of there safely."

"We're doing our best. And, call me Wallace."

He nodded at Jay and Jay placed a hand on your shoulder to lead you back to where he had been working alongside everyone else who wanted to figure out what the hell had gone on in there. Behind you, you heard the other firefighters volunteering to go inside the hospital.

"You're not making me go back to Mama Garcia's?" you asked Jay as you walked.

"No," he answered. "It's gonna get dark soon and I don't need you sneaking off from there again."

"So, I'm staying here so you can keep an eye on me?"

"Precisely."

***

You were sitting in a metal folding chair, scrolling through your iPod--wifi courtesy of Jay's hotspot--when three people entered the tent-like structure.

"Detective," Sharon Goodwin said as she entered the area where everyone was working. Jay looked up from the computer he was working at. "The parents of..." she trailed off, allowing you to assume that these were the parents of the man who had blown himself up.

"Alright," Jay said as he walked over to them. "Please, have a seat."

His voice was monotonous, not soft like when he was talking to child victims and not angry like when he was trying to get a hardened criminal to break. His voice, it was just...there.

"Is there anything you can tell us?" he asked once the parents had sat down.

"He was a smart boy," the man started, "always nice...and helpful. This country has given us so much. How could this have happened?"

"He claimed to be infected with something similar to Ebola."

You felt like you couldn't breathe. So, what the woman on the news had said was true. Your brother--and everyone else in the hospital for that matter--could be infected with something similar--or god forbid, worse--than Ebola.

You couldn't take another funeral. You couldn't take losing another family member before you even learned how to drive, hell before you even got to high school.

Your mind flashed back to when you were four years old. Will was in college and Jay was in his senior year of high school. It was springtime and the weather was just starting to get nice out.

You woke up from sleeping and realized you were thirsty. Seeing as you didn't think it was super late yet, you hoped that maybe Jay or Will would still be up and they'd give you a cup of juice. They were on babysitting duty tonight because your parents had gone out for a date night and knew they wouldn't be back until the early hours of the morning.

With Beary gripped tightly in your hand, you walked down the hallway and towards the kitchen. You saw the living room light on, and then it was quickly turned off.

"Mommy? Daddy?" you asked.

The only light now was from the hallway and you were starting to get scared. Monsters would come out if it was too dark!

Suddenly, the light was flicked back on.

"Y/N, what are you doing up?" Jay asked as he walked towards you.

"I want juice," you told him. But, then you looked at what he was wearing. He was wearing one of those shirts that he had to wear when you and your mom went to his soccer games at other schools. Jay always said that if he didn't wear this type of nice shirt, that he and his team would have to run suicides. You didn't know what those were, but they didn't sound nice. "Why you not in your 'jamas?" you asked. "You have a game? In the dark?"

"Uh," Jay blanched. He couldn't exactly tell his little, very talkative sister, that he was sneaking out to go to a party. "Let's get you some juice."

"Okay!"

Jay got you some juice and started to take your hand to walk you back to your room and tuck you back in when you turned to look at him. "So you going to play soccer? Or you going to see Allie?" He always wore those kinds of shirts when she came over in one of her really fancy dresses. And, Jay would give Allie a flower bracelet, too!

Jay crouched down so he was eye-level with you. "Y/N, you know what a secret is?"

"Yeah! It's when you can't tell somethin' to somebody. Mommy said secrets are bad," you told him, while you swung Beary back and forth in your little hand.

"Well, they're not all bad," he told you. "So, if I told you a secret, you'd be able to keep it?"

"And not tell Mommy or Daddy?" He nodded. "I dunno. I don't wanna get in trouble and have to go in time-out, Jay Jay."

"You won't get in trouble, I promise. And, if you promise not to tell Mommy and Daddy and Will, I'll get you a big pack of Oreos."

"I get Oreos for not telling Mommy and Daddy and Will?"

"Yes, you get Oreos if you don't tell them."

You'd do just about anything for Oreos!

"Okay, I keep it a secret. Where you going?"

"I am going to a friend's house to hang out."

"Okay." You didn't know what was so bad about that, but you wanted to get your Oreos, so you'd keep your mouth shut.

"Alrighty then, let's get you back to bed. Because, if I'm not mistaken, princesses need their beauty sleep."

He tucked you back into bed and got out of the house safely. Now all Jay had to do was to entrust you with the secret that he had snuck and went to a "friend's house", which was code for going to a party.

You had almost fallen back asleep when your door creaked open.

"Y/N," Will whispered.

"Will?"

"Yeah, it's Will," he answered and flicked on your bedside lamp.

"Were you talking to Jay a few minutes ago?"

"No," you lied. You wanted your Oreos!

"Are you sure about that? Because I could've sworn I heard you say Jay Jay."

"You wrong," you told him defiantly.

"Oh yeah? Because I heard him mention Oreos."

"No, no Oreos. He only got me juice."

"So you did talk to him."

"No, I didn't."

"Then who got you the juice?" Will knew you couldn't pour yourself a glass of juice without spilling it everywhere. He also knew that the glasses were up high enough in the cupboard that you needed someone else to reach them for you.

"Uh, uh, the-the juice fairy!"

"The juice fairy, huh? I've never heard of her. Because I could've sworn I heard you ask him if he was going to play soccer and he told you that he was going to a friend's house."

"No, he didn't!" you protested.

"Tell you what, kiddo, if you tell me where Jay went, I will give you Oreos, too."

You furrowed your eyebrows. Will was gonna give you the same thing and Jay might be mad at you. You needed something more. "Oreos and Sour Patch."

"Deal. Sour Patch Kids or watermelons?"

"Kids," you answered.

"Okay, it's a deal. Now, where is Jay going?"

"He went to a friend's house. But he was wearing one of those shirts he wears when he has to go to other schools for soccer," you answered.

"He's going to a party," Will muttered.

"A party? Like my tea parties?"

"Something like that." Where the tea is beer, Will thought to himself. "But, now you have to wait for Jay to give you your Oreos, and then I'll give you your Sour Patch Kids and Oreos."

"Then I have two Oreos?"

"Exactly. Now, time to go back to sleep."

The next day, Jay gave you a family sized-pack of Oreos that you hid in your room. The day after that, Will came home from studying at the library with a family-sized pack of Oreos and a big bag of Sour Patch Kids for you that you also ended up hiding in your room. And, that night at dinner, Will told your parents that Jay had gone to a party. He was grounded until the end of soccer season. But, Will had successfully taught you how to blackmail someone.

"Y/N." Erin's voice broke through your memories of being a little kid and being taught blackmail by your oldest brother. "I need you to breathe for me. Can you do that?"

"W-What if Will-- What if he gets the--"

"Y/N, match my breathing."

She took a deep breath in and you tried to follow. It took a few tries, but your breathing eventually evened out and returned to normal.

"Will," you heard Jay say.

Before you could even think, you had jumped off your chair and were barrelling towards Jay. "Will? You're talking to Will? Is he okay? Is he gonna come out soon?"

"Y/N," Jay spoke calmly, "we just need to ask him some medical questions. Go back to where you were."

"Is he okay?"

"Y/N's here?" Will asked from his spot in the ED. "Why? How?"

"It's a long story. But, I'm gonna put you on speaker so that you can tell her that you're okay and then I need you to answer some questions."

Jay put the phone on speaker.

"I'm fine, kiddo. Really. You wouldn't want to see me right now anyway. You wouldn't want to come in here either because it smells really bad."

"You promise you're fine?"

"I promise. Now, I think I need to answer some questions?"

"Yeah, yeah," you heard Jay say as you walked back towards Erin. It was quiet in there now, as everyone was listening intently to what Will was saying.

Apparently, Antonio and Voight had looked up where this psycho worked and had figured out that he was the same guy who had walked into the high school's office earlier that day, which he probably did for a distraction. Now, they just had Will on the other end telling the infectious disease specialist in the ED all the chemicals that he had been working with so that she could test for them.

***

"Jay! Why'd you turn off your hotspot?" you whined as you pulled up google.

"Because you heard the bacteria and the strain and I know you. I am not letting you go down a google rabbit hole to look this up and try and figure out if Will's gonna die."

You sighed and put your head in your hands. Jay was right, of course, he was right, he's a detective for crying out loud!

"But what if Will's gonna die?"

"Y/N." Jay walked up to you. "He's not gonna die. He's gonna be just fine."

"But you don't know that!"

Jay's phone rang. "It's Will."

"Put it on speaker."

"It's not contagious," Will said.

If you weren't sitting down, you would've fallen to the ground in pure relief.

"So, you're good?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Everyone's good. Whatever he had, it died with him. I've got some patients that need work, but I'll be out soon."

***

Everyone from the hospital, the police, and the firefighters were all currently packed into Mama Garcia's. You, Will, and Jay had snagged a booth because your backpack and homework were still there from earlier.

"That's one good thing about being the middle child I guess," Jay stated after he had taken a bite of a tamale. "Not having to be the victim in one of these bomb situations."

You knew he meant, here, today, in Chicago and not overseas. And, you weren't about to wreck his joke by mentioning that.

"Yeah, but you had to work it," Will pointed out.

"Technically, you did, too, man. I think Y/N was the only one who got out of this without a payday."

Jay's phone rang. "Why's Dad calling me?" His eyes went wide. "Oh shit! I didn't tell him that I picked you up from practice." He threw his phone to Will, who narrowly caught it. "You talk to him!"

"Me? Why me?"

"Because he likes you better!"

"But he's calling you!"

You swiped the phone from Will's hand and answered it. "Jay? Do you know where Y/N is? I came home from work and--"

"Dad, it's Y/N. I'm fine. Jay picked me up from practice and I'm assuming you got a phone call about what happened at school and then he had to go to Med to work that case."

"Med? As in Chicago Med? Where Will just started working?"

"Yes, Dad, Chicago Med. And, we're fine. We're just a Mama Garcia's getting dinner."

"It's ten o'clock at night!"

"I know, and we should be home soon. I promise I won't complain about getting up in the morning."

"Okay, well, I'm glad you three are safe. Just next time, tell Jay to call me."

"Okay, Dad. Bye, love you."

"Love you, too."

You hung up the phone and passed it back to Jay. "He didn't disown me, did he?"

You laughed. "No, no he did not."

"Y/N, right?"

You looked up at the sound of your name to be met with a firefighter.

"Yes, and you are...?"

"Matt Casey." He stuck out his hand for you to shake and you did so. Despite hearing about him, you'd never actually met the lieutenant. "Chief Boden mentioned that you were the one who ran down to Med with all those extinguishers."

"Oh, it was no big deal," you told him shyly. "They're actually Mama Garcia's. I just heard you needed them, so I asked if I could run them over to you guys. It's her you should be thanking."

"Well, you played a big part in that. So, if you want a dessert, on behalf of me and all the guys at 51, it's on me tonight."

He handed you a ten-dollar bill. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it. You made up for your brother almost black-tagging Severide."

"You did what?" Jay practically yelled.

As for you, you had no idea what they were talking about. "What? What's black-tagging?"

"You know what? Never mind," Casey said. "Thanks for all your help today, you guys."

"You were the ones who got them extra fire extinguishers?" Will asked, flabbergasted after Casey walked away.

"Yeah. Jay here wasn't too happy about seeing me over there, but when I told him why he calmed down a bit."

Erin slid into the booth next to Jay and he gave her a kiss.

"Ew, guys! Child in the room!"

Jay stuck his tongue out at you.

"I think he's the child in the room, Y/N," Erin said as she thumbed at Jay.

"So, Y/N, anything else interesting happen today? How'd you do on that math homework I helped you with last night?" Will asked.

"I did really well on it, but that's not even the craziest thing that happened at school today."

"Oh, yeah? Then what was?"

Oh man," you sighed. "Where do I begin? I think to tell you that story I'm gonna need to go get me some Flan."

You picked up the ten-dollar bill Casey had given you and slid out of the booth. If someone would've told you that you'd be buying Flan at Mama Garcia's at ten o'clock at night on a school night, you wouldn't believe them, but it would be plausible at least. The rest of the day? Well, you weren't sure that anyone would believe that you and Jay had been at the location of not one, but two bomb threats in the span of a few hours.

Once you got your Flan, you settled back into the booth. "So, it started out like any normal practice except we had to go to the high school to use the track..."

A/N: Guess who cranked out more than 5k words to get this finished today? That's right, me! Anyway, thank you for almost 8k reads! I know this technically wasn't a PD episode (It was Chicago Fire Season 3 Ep 19), but it had both Will and Jay, and the timeline made it so that it was season 2 of PD, so I thought it was fitting. Finally, please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think about this one!

If you’re in the taglist, please tell me if it worked, I’m new at this!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox

#chicago pd #chicago med #jay halstead #will halstead #halstead brothers #halstead bros #halstead sister #jay halstead imagine #will halstead imagine #halstead brothers imagine #chicago pd imagine #chicago med imagine #fancfic #fanfiction #writing #imagine

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yukidragon · 3 years

Text

Our Life Snippit - Fish and Flirting

Soooo... who’s ready to read another clip of the first draft for my Our Life: Beginnings & Always fanfic novelization? This time, let’s take a slice of Step 2's moment, Dinner.

I’d like to thank everyone for enjoying my writing. All of your likes, reblogs, and comments are the fuel that drives me to share more of it here. I’m thankful for the feedback my fellow fans of the game and especially its creators @gb-patch! You are all just so sweet. Thank you!

...

The crunch of sand against the mat beneath her sandals was a familiar welcome for Jamie as she entered his bedroom. Cove didn’t care if he brought a little bit of the beach home after every visit there. Cliff never scolded him for it like her moms would if she adopted such a lackadaisical attitude. This left sand to accumulate all over his personal space, but he never minded.

That was just how Cove was - a little bit of a mess.

Cove didn’t waste time getting comfortable, taking a seat on the edge of his extra large bed. “You can sit wherever you want.”

There weren’t actually all that many options. The desk chair was the obvious choice, as it was the only place to sit besides the bed, but Cove rarely used it for that purpose despite claiming her desk chair as his preferred spot whenever they hung out in her room. Jamie knew from experience that his chair was nowhere near as comfortable as hers, and it had a squeak to it that set her teeth on edge. She could deal with a stiff chair, but the noise it made ensured that the first time she sat in it was also the last.

This meant that the only options left were to stand, sit on the sandy floor, or…

Jamie fought to keep the mischief on her mind from showing on her face. Well, Cove did say that she could sit wherever she wanted.

Although Cove had hoped Jamie would take his offer as an invitation to sit on his bed with him, he was shocked that she took a seat right beside him. She was so close he felt her knee briefly brush against his as she made herself comfortable, all the while flashing him a cheerful smile that sent his heart pounding. He had hoped she would sit close to him; he just didn’t expect she would sit this close.

Not that Cove was complaining.

Jamie noticed Cove tense up, his back going stiff as he ducked his head away. It reminded her of how he would react whenever she hugged him, especially when he began to blush and tried to hide the way his lips curled into a trembling smile.

“Oh my God,” Cove whispered under his breath. The words slipped out of him without realizing, spoken so softly that Jamie might not have heard it if she wasn’t sitting right next to him.

The reaction thrilled Jamie, and she couldn’t stop herself from beaming at Cove. He was just too cute!

Cove noticed the shift in Jamie’s expression out of the corner of his eye. With how close they were, it was impossible not to notice each other’s every move. He couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at her, wondering why she seemed so happy all of a sudden.

Jamie noticed the silent question in his eyes. Before she could seriously consider playing coy, her real feelings came bubbling out. “You’re adorable!”

The compliment, delivered with such enthusiasm, seemed to come right out of nowhere for Cove. He stiffened again, his eyes flying open wide as his mouth hung open in shock. “I… what?”

Jamie watched as the blush deepen on Cove’s face before spreading to the tips of his ears and all the way down his neck. He wasn’t the only one blushing, as her cheeks grew rather hot as well, but since she already said it… “You’re adorable,” she repeated, trying to look and sound much more confident than she felt.

That got Cove’s mouth trembling again. It was a wonder how he could still look Jamie in the eye with how much his insides were fluttering. He gripped the blanket underneath him, feeling like he might just fall off the bed with how weak his knees were at that moment. “I’m not. That’s…”

It was almost too much for Cove to take. How could Jamie say stuff like that to him so easily? It wasn’t fair how easy it was for her to send his heart into overdrive and turn his mind into mush.

Cove shifted nervously in place as he scrambled to get his mind working again. Jamie was flirting with him, right? She had to be. Unless he was mistaken. Then again, this happened often enough that it couldn’t be all his imagination, right? Except this was Jamie - she was nice to everyone. Of course, she was nicest to him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t reading too much into things.

Should he flirt back? What would he say? What could he say? Should he call her cute? Jamie was definitely cute, and nice, and thoughtful, and fantastic and…

But what if that made things weird? If Jamie was just being nice and not thinking too much about this stuff, Cove might make things awkward. And if things got uncomfortable between them…

It was all too much for Cove. He did the only thing he could do - he fled the subject of romance completely.

“Did you see my fish?” Cove blurted out, latching onto the first non-romance-related topic to pop into his head. “I’ve got some. In a tank. Right there.” He threw both arms out in front of him in an almost desperate gesture to direct Jamie’s attention away from him to something else far safer with less world-shattering ramifications.

As happy as Jamie was to make Cove so flustered, she could see she had overwhelmed him. She wanted to drop hints about how she felt about him, not make him uncomfortable. Despite how poor the change in topic was, she granted him mercy and allowed it.

Cove bit back a sigh of relief when Jamie directed her gaze away from him. He closed his eyes and tried to focus on getting his rapidly beating heart back under control. At the same time, he couldn’t help but feel just a little disappointed with himself.

The fish in the tank were fairly varied, all of them bright and colorful. The way Cove had so dramatically pointed them out, one might think that Jamie had never seen them before. She knew that Cliff had gifted him the tank and pets not long after the father and son first moved to Sunset Bird.

Fondly, Jamie recalled the excitement that always shone in his eyes whenever Cove proudly introduced her to his newest pet. He always made sure she was the first to know, and it always made her feel special.

Jamie was also always the first one Cove went to whenever a fish unfortunately passed on. Those occasions broke her heart to see him so sad, and she did whatever she could to comfort him. Despite the sad memory, a small smile tugged at her lips as she recalled how she had come up with the idea of giving the fish funerals, and she officiated over them as best as her childish self could without having any real experience with funerals prior. As sad as they were, they did help her best friend heal from the loss.

Returning her focus to the tank, Jamie inspected it and its occupants with increasing interest. Although she had no experience having pets of her own, she had learned what it took to take care of fish from listening to Cove talk about his pets. She helped him out wherever she could as well, be it with checking to make sure the tank’s thermometer was accurate by comparing its reading with one her moms owned or looking up information he struggled to find by himself.

Cove was very serious about the care of his pets, and it showed. The fish were healthy and energetic as they swam through the crystal clear water.

The smaller fish zipping about were interesting, but Jamie found her eye drawn to the especially big one because of its dazzling multicolored scales. A thought suddenly occurred to her, and she felt dumb for never asking a very simple question before. “What are their names?”

Although the question was innocent enough, Cove found himself growing a bit bashful. “I don’t name them,” he admitted. “Well, not really.” At seeing Jamie direct a raised eyebrow at him, he gave her a lopsided smile. “I mean… Mostly, I just call them things based on what they look like. ‘Squirt’ for a small one, ‘Tangerine’ for a really orange one. That sort of thing.” He let out an awkward chuckle. “I’ve had a lot of fish, and I’m not that good at coming up with names…”

The answer tickled Jamie. She hadn’t known about that little weakness of his. It was always such a nice surprise whenever she learned about a new side of Cove that she had never noticed before.

“Oh,” Cove said, as a thought occurred to him. “A couple of them have other types of names.” He pointed towards a small orange-red fish. It was off on its own away from its tankmates. “My dad named her Dreamcatcher.” He paused for a moment before pointing at a more yellowish fish that just darted out of the fake log. “And that other one’s Mark. Mom came up with that one.”

Jamie focused on the two particular fish before turning back to Cove. He was still looking at his pets with a more relaxed smile on his face. For a moment she just admired how the glow from the tank reflected in his eyes before snapping her focus back onto the conversation. “You let other people name your fish?”

“Yeah,” Cove said happily. “It’s nice.” He then turned to Jamie as an idea popped into his head. He tilted his head to the side, considering the thought for a moment before deciding to go ahead with it. “Do you wanna name one?”

Jamie’s eyes lit up at the offer. “Yeah I do!”

Cove’s smile grew a little at her enthusiasm. “Cool. There’s a few who don’t have names right now, the newer ones. You can pick which you wanna name.”

Jamie waited until Cove pointed out each of her options. The first fish was the smallest in the tank. It was orange all over and zipped around the tank so fast that it was lapping the others. The second was red and just slightly bigger, with a tail dotted by black spots almost like freckles. The last fish was the largest one in the tank that had caught her eye earlier. Its multicolored scales practically glittered under the bright light of the large tank as it slowly glided through the water.

It was an easy choice for Jamie to make. “The biggest fish.”

Cove nodded, a little amused, as he waited for Jamie to decide on a name. He had a feeling that would be the one she would pick. She did like rainbows after all, and that particular fish was practically a living rainbow.

Jamie squinted at the tank, hamming up an exaggerated show of taking this sacred duty of naming a pet fish seriously as she stroked her chin and let out a low hum. She was rewarded for her theatrics when Cove noticed and let out a chuckle. She barely kept herself from grinning or doing more than glimpsing at him out of the corner of her eye as she tried her best not to break character.

Eventually, Jamie straightened up and turned to Cove, maintaining her solemn expression the entire time. “Gil.”

Cove couldn’t help but laugh unreservedly at not only her choice, but her antics as well.

Finally, Jamie broke character and allowed herself to smile and enjoy how she made Cove laugh. The affectionate sound was music to her ears.

“I could’ve come up with that,” Cove chuckled.

“Well, it was the second name to pop into my head,” Jamie said almost a little too innocently.

Cove caught on that Jamie wasn’t quite done with the bit yet and raised his eyebrow, playing along. “Oh yeah? What was the first one?”

“Cove,” Jamie announced, grinning.

With that, Cove broke into another round of laughter. “What? You thought about naming it after me?”

Jamie shrugged, doing her best to appear casual. “A little bit, but I couldn’t help it; your name is always the first one to come to my mind.”

Heat bloomed in Cove’s cheeks as his laughter turned bashful and trailed off. He was pretty sure Jamie wasn’t flirting with him this time and was merely joking around, but it still felt a little too good to hear her say something like that. “I-is it? Oh, well… uh…”

Jamie gave Cove a moment, feeling satisfied that her attempt at flirting got such a positive reaction. Those tips from Lee were paying off.

When Cove shook off the flustered feelings, he gave Jamie a bent smile. “Alright, it’s Gil.”

#Our Life Beginnings & Always #Our Life #ourlifeba #Cove Holden #Jamie Last #Jamie Leimomi #My Writing

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years

Text

By Your Doorstep (Part 8)

Summary: The reader and Sam try to find a way to ensure John leaves them alone while Dean has a sweet moment with Tessa...

Pairing: Doctor/Neighbor!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 3,700ish

Warnings: language, bad parenting, past child abuse, manipulation, angst, fluff

A/N: Parts of this series are told from two different POV’s. Dean’s POV are written from limited third person. Reader’s POV are second person (like a typical reader insert). Enjoy!…

_________

Reader’s POV

“Hey, Mr. Valens,” you said when he came into the reception area about twenty minutes after you’d left the house with Sam.

“Y/N! Everything alright? You’re not in trouble are you?” he asked, giving Sam a look. “You look familiar.”

“I work on opposing counsel for the Druman case,” he said.

“You’re that son of a bitch that got a delay. That was good work,” he said. “A friend of Y/N’s is always welcome although I have to ask what exactly is going on that you’re here after seven?”

“Mr. Valens this is Sam Winchester. His brother Dean is my boyfriend. They knew my dad years back. He might have kept a file on them and I was wondering if you might have it since I know you took over my dad’s stuff?”

“Well I can’t allow you to go looking through the file cabinets and certainly not a lawyer from a rival firm,” he said. You frowned and he smiled. “Sam, you wouldn’t mind waiting out here. I’m sure you understand considering our prep is going on right now.”

“Of course. I’ll hang here,” he said. You walked through a set of doors into some offices, walking down the familiar hall.

“You guys renovated,” you said.

“A few months back. We wanted a little more modern touch. Your dad’s idea actually. Finally got it going,” he said.

“He always had a thousand things going at once it seems,” you said. You walked into his office, Mr. Valens going to a file cabinet in the corner. He dug around in the bottom drawer and pulled out a folder.

“Winchester boys. I’m guessing this is them,” he said. He took a seat at his desk and opened it up, lifting his head after a minute. “Y/N. Why do you want this file?”

“Mr. Valens. Let me have it,” you said. “Please.”

“There’s a reason your father never escalated this to law enforcement,” he said, shutting the file. “What are you involved in?”

“Mr. Valens. You were my dad’s partner and best friend and Tessa and I haven’t heard from you since two weeks after the funeral. You helped me get access to our trust but you left. We needed help. I needed help. You’re a lawyer. You could have made life so much easier. But you wouldn’t pick up the phone. The least you can do is give me that file.”

“You weren’t a child when they died, Y/N.”

“It doesn’t mean I wasn’t devastated. It doesn’t mean I was ready to change my whole life to become a mom to my sister, my very hurt baby sister. I just needed a little bit of help with paperwork and you couldn’t even do that for your best friend’s kids. I want that file, Mr. Valens.”

“You should stay away from those boys,” he said, handing it over to you.

“Why?”

“Their father is an ex-cop. Why do you think your father never escalated it? He needed hard evidence to make that kind of accusation,” he said.

“Can you help them?”

“Y/N, why are you digging around in the past.”

“He came to our house and hurt Dean tonight.” He shut his eyes and ran his hand over his face. “I’m tired of people I care about getting hurt. Is there anything we can do to get them to leave us alone?”

“I’m sorry but unless he does something and you report it, I can’t do anything without hard evidence.”

“I have a recording of him beating up Dean.”

“He could very easily walk on that charge. My suggestion would be to get you and Tessa out of that house and away from those two for good.”

“You’re a dick,” you said as you rolled your eyes. You started to leave and went past a conference room, wide eyed when you saw John Winchester walking out with another lawyer. “What are you doing here?”

“None of your business,” he said. Mr. Valens cleared his throat and pulled you back into his office, shutting the door behind him.

“He’s right next door and you don’t care to mention that?”

“He’s a client for another lawyer.”

“No, I was stupid to come here was all. You don’t care about anyone or anything except money. You’ll work with a guy like that and let him keep hurting his kids as long as you get paid. I’m glad my father didn’t have to see you for who you really are.”

“Do not put words in my mouth,” he said, staring you down. “I said he is a client. Plenty of people need lawyers, including bad ones. I did not say I knew about his past with his sons. I do not condone that and that is exactly the kind of person I enjoy putting in prison. As a lawyer, I’m telling you that you either need very, very hard evidence of something he can’t get out of or you need to not antagonize him and hope he stays away. As someone who has watched you grow up, get you and your sister away from those Winchester boys. You do not know what he will do and that is dangerous.”

“Dean’s in danger. Sam’s in danger. Tessa and I aren’t leaving them.”

“You need to think of your sister, not your boyfriend.”

“She loves them like they’re her big brothers. She is happy, the happiest I’ve seen her since the accident. We’re not walking away from our family. We’ll figure this out ourselves.”

You went to leave when he caught your arm.

“I’ll do some digging. He’s no longer a cop but if he did something dirty, it might be enough.”

“Thank you.”

“Be careful, Y/N.”

You left and walked down the hall, John waiting by the doors out to the lobby.

“You Sammy’s girlfriend?” he asked.

“Dean’s,” you said.

“Your boyfriend going to keep up our arrangement?”

“Why don’t you just leave them alone,” you said.

“I do.”

“Tell that to Dean’s face.”

“He understands that the arrangement-”

“You got nothing on him and we all know it. We will let the past stay in the past as long as you never come near them again. I’m friends with the senior partner here so if you want to try something, I have a very good lawyer waiting in the wings.”

“To tell you the truth,” he said, leaning down to your ear. “It was never about the money. Sure it was nice but I mean he’s so pathetic he never even realized there was no proof. That’s what I get for letting him spend all that time at his uncle’s place. You do realize you’re dating a dumbass don’t you?”

“If it’s not about the money then why did you go to our house?”

“You saw the look on his face,” he smirked. “Fancy ass doctor is nothing more than a little bitch that-”

“Fuck you,” you said, slapping him in the face. You went to leave when you felt a shove from behind. You turned and glared, catching Mr. Valens coming down the hall.

“What the fuck is going on here?” said Mr. Valens.

“She tripped,” said John.

“Oh well now you’re officially on the top of my shit list,” he said, walking over and getting in John’s face.

“Exciting,” said John. “I bet that’ll work out well.”

“Y/N, leave,” he said. You ducked out the door, Sam sprawled out on the couch.

“How’d it-”

“Let’s go. Now,” you said, both of you turning when you heard the doors open.

“Sammy,” said John, Sam swallowing as he stood up. John glanced over at you and smirked. “You know Dean’s been paying me for years to-”

“Go fuck yourself. With a cactus,” said Sam. John smiled and cocked his head.

“You Sam, you always had that fight in you Dean didn’t. I didn’t have to toughen you up. It was just there already. I’m just sorry to have to be the one to tell you that Dean...he doesn’t really love you. He only took you because he couldn’t stand the thought of being alone. I mean he abandoned you. You remember when you called us to help you out cause Dean was too busy partying at school? You remember who took care of you?”

“Sam. He’s just trying to fuck with you.”

“Dean’s human. He’s allowed to have fun and I called you as a last resort. I would not do it again,” said Sam.

“Funny. I don’t recall ever once laying a hand on you. I mean did you ever see me ever put a hand on Dean?”

“You were such a dick. Just because I didn’t see it doesn’t-”

“You know he got bullied right? Blamed me for that. Blamed us for all of his little problems. Then he took you. I can’t forgive him for that. But you had no choice and who knows what lies he’s been filling your head with for years.”

“Sam.”

“And this one. Dean her knight in shining armor? She’s just using him and you know it. For all you know she did that to him. Go back to your old city Sammy. Get out from under his thumb. It’s what’d I’d do.”

He left the building and you put your hands on your hips, Sam giving you a glance.

“Do not look at me like that,” you said. “I watched him beat up your brother tonight.”

“You did almost hit that yoga woman.”

“Because she hurt Dean,” you said quietly. “Your dad literally just shoved me in there. He knows he’s got nothing left except getting you to hurt Dean too. He’s so controlling Sam. That’s all he wants to do is control the two of you and making you fight means he wins.”

“Dean gives you everything,” said Sam.

“I love him.” He seemed to stop whatever he was about to say and you looked down. “And I love you too and I didn’t want to love anyone ever again so that’s a really big deal for me. He makes me happy Sam. I’d never hurt him. He’s my best friend. He’s your best friend too and he has gone to hell and back for you since he was a child. Please don’t listen to John. Believe your brother.”

“Dean used to say to me that he got wailed on but I got the manipulation worse. I think he had that pretty spot on,” said Sam, closing his eyes. “You love Dean?”

“I haven’t exactly told him yet,” you said with a shrug.

“Pretty sure the dork knows,” said Sam. “Just like you do.”

“I hope so. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s head home.”

“Do you believe him?” you asked.

“You know every morning, every morning, you make Dean a cup of coffee and you either put it in his thermos or a cup for him. Every morning you do that.”

“So?”

“You wash out his thermos every night because you know it’s his favorite. On the weekend you put it in his blue mug and have it ready for him along with a cheese danish that you picked up the morning before on the way to work. That’s just one thing. You care about him and he lets you take care of him and Dean doesn’t do that. I’ll always pick my real family over my parents any day. I’m never gonna turn my back on my brother.”

“Thank you,” you said.

“Did you make any headway, on anything?”

“The partner is gonna look into him but hopefully he just stays away from now on knowing he’s got nothing left to hold over you guys.”

“I hope so too.”

Dean’s POV

“Tessa, I’m fine,” said Dean, wincing as she put a fresh cold ice pack on his ribs.

“I guess it’s true. Doctors are the worst patients,” she said. She hopped up when the doorbell rang and Dean sat up. “It’s just the delivery guy.”

“Tessa I can-” said Dean before he ran off. Dean sighed, Tessa coming back a few minutes later with some styrofoam containers. “You need to be more careful.”

“You think your dad is gonna punch me? A high school girl?” she said.

“I don’t like testing that theory.” Dean scooted back against the headboard, Tessa handing him some utensils and one of the containers. She sat on the other side with hers, watching the TV and eating up some pieces of chicken. “Tessa.”

“Hm?” she hummed.

“If you want to go over to Jack’s that’s okay,” he said. “I didn’t mean to ruin your date.”

“I think my sister put me in charge of you. Jack’s cool with it. We’ll hang out tomorrow,” she said, eating more of her food.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m not the one that got punched in the face.”

“Still. Things can be triggering,” he said.

“I don’t get why you didn’t hit back I guess. I would have.”

“I’ve spent most of my life afraid of my dad. I still am a bit unfortunately.”

“Well you’re obviously not like him. At all,” she said. Dean smiled and started to eat, Toast licking his toes every so often. “He knows you’re hurt. He does that when he wants you to feel better.”

“Animals are very intuitive like that,” said Dean. It was quiet for a few minutes as they ate, Tessa shifting in her spot eventually.

“Dean.”

“Yeah?” he asked, mouthful of macaroni.

“Do you love my sister?” she asked. Dean swallowed and set his food down in his lap, smiling at it.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Why not tell her then?”

“I think she knows just like I think I know that she loves me. I think we’ve both been through so much already that it’s not always in the words how to say you love someone. Actions, those are as important, more important in a way. Your sister is kind and good to me in a way I never thought I’d have. I love her very, very much. I love you too.”

“She smiles again,” said Tessa. “She’s a better person around you.”

“She was always a good person. She just needed some else to lean on for a moment. That’s what a relationship is. It’s why she’s pissed as hell right now and standing up to someone I couldn’t.”

“I know you took Sam away from your parents. That was badass too,” she said.

“Maybe.”

“Are you gonna marry her?” she asked.

“Also a maybe.”

“Do you want to?”

“Would you be okay with that?”

“Yeah. Are you asking like my permission or something?”

“Well, I’d still ask no matter what you say but I’d like to think you’d be alright with it.”

“I’m confused.”

“I’m not asking right now...but maybe hypothetically I will ask in the future.”

“Oh,” she said with a nod. “I got you. When you’re done being shy be sure to let me know.”

“You’re a little shit, you know that?” asked Dean with a laugh.

“It’s one of my best qualities,” she said.

“Sure it is,” he said as he reached over and ruffled her hair.

“Dean?” she asked when he picked up his food again. “I know she’d say yes, whenever you do decide to do it.”

“I said maybe I recall.”

“Maybe it’s not always in the words but the actions,” she said, smirking at him.

“Got me there,” he said. “Let’s not tell Y/N about this though. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Reader’s POV

Three Days Later

“Hey, Dean,” you said as he stirred awake beside you. He smiled and snuggled into your side, covers tucked up under his chin. “Sleep good?”

“Yeah. Better,” he said. You carded your fingers through his hair and he slowly opened his eyes, sleepily watching you. “I don’t think he’ll try anything. It’s been a few days and it’s been quiet.”

“Me either. Like Sam said, he’s an asshole but he’s not nuts,” you said.

“No, he’s not. But I do wonder sometimes...about my mom.”

“You don’t talk about her much,” you said. You started twirling short strands and he started to wake up more but didn’t move around.

“I just...I don’t know if he broke her down after years and that’s why she is the way she is or if she genuinely doesn’t like us,” said Dean. “I don’t know whether to feel sorry for her or not.”

“Well...I think there’s a difference between her failing to protect you and her actively hurting you. Only you and Sam would know what really happened there.”

“Going off of that logic she’s not a good person,” said Dean. “Our grandpa wasn’t so it makes sense in a way. I don’t understand why they hated Sam and me so much though.”

“I don’t understand how anyone could ever not want you either.” He smiled and you bent down, kissing his cheek and then his lips, Dean humming when you moved back.

“Well, I got more than enough people that want me in my life now,” he said. He reached up and kissed you as you sunk back down in bed. He put his hand on the back of your neck and you grabbed his hip, Dean smirking beside you. He was starting to breath a little harder, pants filling the air, when you heard the door creak open.

“Guess who made...seriously,” said Tessa. You both turned and saw her with a tray and some food on top.

“Your sister’s hot, Tessa,” chuckled Dean. You smacked his chest lightly as you both sat up, Tessa setting the tray down on the end of the bed.

“Might want to knock from now on before you get a view of something mentally scaring,” you said.

“I’ll remember that,” she said. She turned to go when Dean tsked her. “Guys. Have morning sex or whatever you were doing.”

“A little kissing never hurt anyone,” you said, picking up a cinnamon roll from the plate. “This looks yummy.”

“What’s the occasion, Tess?” asked Dean, grabbing one himself without a wince, his ribs looking a lot better.

“I figured I could make breakfast,” she shrugged.

“As a doctor, this isn’t the healthiest thing I’d consider for breakfast. As myself, excellent choice,” said Dean. She started to go and he chuckled. “Tessa. Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, Toast trotting in and hopping up on the bed. “No Toast. Your food’s downstairs.”

“While I got you girls both here, I was wondering what you guys would like to do for Christmas?” he asked. “It’s only a little over a week away.”

“Oh,” she said before she looked at you. Dean raised an eyebrow and you shrugged.

“Well don’t everyone be too over excited,” he said with a chuckle. “Come on, anything in the world, what do you guys want to do?”

“Y/N not have to work,” mumbled Tessa.

“I know for a fact she won’t. I also know for a fact that our offices will be closed aside from the doctor that always works that week anyways. All of our lab work goes out that week so a certain someone is going to have her first week off in a few years,” said Dean.

“Wait I get the whole week off?” you asked.

“Yup. We all do and it doesn’t count against vacation. It’s something that’s always been done as a treat to the employees. So. Everybody’s got the week off, even Sammy. I say us and Toast all go do something really fun.”

“Like what?” she asked.

“Well...would you guys be interested in going up north a bit to South Dakota? The past few years our friends all chip in to rent a big house and we celebrate up there. There’s snowboarding, skiing, a resort spa nearby. What do you guys think?”

“Can we afford that?” Tessa asked you.

“Yes we can and I think it sounds great,” you said. “You guys wanna go?”

“We can even get Toast a little jacket so he doesn’t get cold,” said Dean. “Jack will be there…”

“Shut up,” she said, pushing on his shoulder. “It sounds alright.”

“Just alright?” he teased. She rolled her eyes and got up, spinning back around and giving him a hug.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

“For what?” he asked quietly.

“I was starting to hate Christmas was all,” she said. He chuckled and reached over to his nightstand, taking out his wallet. He took out a few hundred and handed it over. “Uh, what’s this for?”

“Why don’t you go get yourself some winter boots and snowpants. My treat.”

“Dean.”

“You don’t have any and you need it for the trip. Besides, Y/N’s going with you after we finish making out,” he said with a wink.

“You’re so gross,” she said. She hugged him again and he plopped back in bed, stretching out wide as she left.

“Dean. I know what you got her for Christmas,” you said. “You can’t give her money all the time.”

“Boots and pants and lunch for the both of you is gonna be a few hundred. Have a girls day. I have my own shopping to do for you anyways,” he said as you lay back.

“Dean I have a good job now. I can pay for those things.”

“Y/N. I make an assload. A day of you two going and having fun like sisters do is more than worth two hundred dollars to me,” he said. “This guy did it for me and Sam once. I’m actually just paying it back so really you can’t say no.”

“Fine,” you sighed. “But after we makeout.”

“Oh you’re not getting out of this bed without that happening,” he chuckled.

_______

A/N: Read the Final Part here!

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #doctor!dean #au!dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #spn reader insert #supernatural reader insert #dean #winchester #dean spn #doctor!dean x reader

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backtobackbakubabe · 3 years

Text

Speak Easy Part 18

Dabi x Reader, Bakugo x Reader

Words : 4276

Masterlist

Reader has a siren quirk and has spent the past several years of her life as a captive being experimented on by “heroes” Now that she’s out she needs protection and safe place to heal. Who will be the one to put her pieces back together.

Words with ‘this’ is dialogue written in her journal rather than said out loud and and words with ~this~ is dialogue said in sign language rather than out loud.

**********************************************************************

It’d been a little over a week since Shoto promised to go to the doctor with you and you were getting a little nervous. At first you were just waiting for the doctors to get settled in, but then Shoto was busy helping get things up and running and evacuating people to the bunker. Now you’ve just been chickening out.

Your period was a few days late, which wouldn’t be concerning if it weren’t for your current circumstance.

You woke up this morning and made a cup of coffee before taking Bravo out for a stroll around the bunker. He loved being able to run around and meet new people. He was a hit with the kids. They loved playing with him almost as much as he loved playing with them. The only downside was, there was only two places in the entire massive bunker that he could go to the bathroom. The farm and a small animal relief area near where the trash is dumped.

Needless to say, neither smelled great, but the farm was considerably better. So here you were, sitting on a small platform that oversees the crops with a cup of coffee and a book. Bravo sitting next to you keeping watch.

It was always a little chilly down here, which you honestly preferred. It just meant you could wear lots of hoodies. The more you could hide your body the better. Ever since leaving Dabi’s house you felt like you were always being watched. You felt so exposed and you just wanted to blend into the background.

Today you wore a new hoodie that Izuku had gotten you. It was probably one of the softest things you owned, and it was the prettiest shade of blue. The blue reminded you of a certain someone’s eyes… of the beautiful blue flames they were capable of creating… but then you’d shake the thought from your head and pull it closer around you.

You were enjoying your new freedom. Not that Dabi’s house had been a prison… but you hadn’t realized how much you missed doing things on your own. You had thought being alone would be hard, but you were thriving. It was never being alone that bothered you before, it had been his absence.

Against Katsuki’s wishes… Shoto had shown you the photos of what was left of Dabi’s car. And he hadn’t been exaggerating. You had almost passed out looking at how much blood soaked the driver seat and even the road around it.

You had been so lost lately. You didn’t know how you were supposed to feel. Your heart ached. You thought you had finally found your home. You had finally started to feel your pieces come back together. Now you felt like that would never happen. He took the last few pieces of your heart with him and you felt like you would never be whole again.

Dabi had been your comfort, your safety, your home. Now you were lost.

You hated that you felt this way. You should hate him. You should curse his fucking name. You shouldn’t be crying yourself to sleep over his death.

His death…

Was he dead? You weren’t convinced. It was too convenient, and there wasn’t a body. You wanted proof. Until then you’d go on believing he was still out there.

You closed the book you were reading. You had been on the same page for the past 10 minutes.

There was no way he wrecked his car like that. You had been in the car with him twice. Yes, he drove a little fast… but he wasn’t reckless. Either it was an elaborate cover up, or someone was after him. Or maybe… someone had been after you and he had gotten stuck in the middle as collateral damage.

“You look like you’re thinking too hard.”

Shoto came and took a seat next to you. “I’d ask what’s on your mind, but I’m pretty sure I already know.”

“Am I that obvious?” You leaned your head on his shoulder.

He leaned his head on top of yours. “It’s normal. I’d actually be surprised if you weren’t torn up over it.”

You let out a shaky breath. “I can’t stop worrying about him. I keep wondering where he is. If he’s okay. If there’s some grand explanation for his shitty behavior.” You shrugged. “I’m just finding it hard to grasp that the same man who held me during my panic attacks was also secretly planning to breed me… It just doesn’t add up.”

“Guilt does weird things to people.” Shoto’s hand found yours and gave it a squeeze. “I know he’s my brother, but I have no doubts about who knew him best. I only know a version of him. I only knew what he wanted me to.” He sighed, “It was obvious you meant a lot to him, and I could see him becoming more… I don’t know… human? For the first time in years he was showing emotions that weren’t rage. It would make sense if you were starting to make him question what side he was on.”

Your eyes narrowed, “So what? You think he did some shitty stuff and decided to help me… because he felt guilty about it? That doesn’t make any sense.” You pushed away from him to look him in the eyes. “Dabi only does what Dabi wants to do. That has been clear to me since day one. So what the fuck did he want out of this? None of it makes sense. Was I just a possession to him? Was I a bargaining chip? Was I just some broken pet that he got validation from nursing back to health? What?!”

You could feel your hysteria building and Bravo put his head in your lap in an attempt to calm you down. You took a few deep breaths. “He better fucking be alive… so I can kick his ass myself.”

Shoto chuckled, “Touya doesn’t stand a chance.”

His eyes looked distant and sad. You nudged his shoulder with your own, “Hey can I ask you something?”

He blinked away whatever far away memory he was thinking about, “I don’t see why not.”

“What was he like? Touya I mean… Before he became Dabi.”

Shoto’s lip turned up just slightly, “He was the best big brother I could have ever had. He was always there to help me when our dad was too rough with me. My dad tried to keep us separated… didn’t want me mingling with what he considered to be his biggest failure.” You flinched at the casual way he talked about the abuse they endured. “But Touya would sneak into my room at night. He taught me how to handle my burns and would bring me cold soba on bad days.” His eyes glassed over, “I was devasted when he died. Well… when I thought he died.”

“I blamed my dad, we all did. So, when he came out of hiding, it was like this enormous weight had lifted off of my shoulders. I hadn’t even realized I was carrying it around, but I had never truly gotten over his death.” He chuckled, “So I went looking for him. I didn’t care if he was Touya or Dabi, I just wanted him in my life again. I’d take what I could get. So, I settled for our don’t ask don’t tell relationship.”

You felt a tear that wasn’t yours hit your lap. Of course this would be hard on Shoto, he’s potentially lost his brother for the second time. “If it makes you feel any better… He admitted to me that he loved you.” You smirked, “Well actually he told me he used to hate you which contradicts your story quite a bit. But he said he always wondered if things would have been better for you if he stuck around.”

Shoto laughed, “Sounds like him. Trying to act like the tough guy who didn’t give a shit… Just like how he was with you. I can’t tell you how many times he called me when he was gone checking on you. Texting me every single time your vitals spiked. He would check the cameras and send me voice memos about how he was going to beat my ass if I didn’t keep my hands where he could see them while we were sparing. But then he would deny it when I asked what going on between the two of you.”

“Hey, come on, I have an idea.” You stood and walked over to the corner of the field behind a small tool shed. You picked up a massive rock and moved it so it was hidden from view. “Can you burn his name into it?”

Shoto eyes darkened, “You want to have a funeral? We don’t even know if he’s dead…”

You nodded, “You’re right we don’t… but I think it’ll make it easier. We can have a place to morn him in private. Weather we mourn his death… or the death of who he could have been.”

Shoto’s shoulder slumped and eventually he nodded. His hand heated up and with his finger he wrote on the rock, “R.I.P. TOUYA”

You both sat there for a while just staring at the rock. You felt too cold standing here in the shade of the tool shed. You gripped your hoodie closer to you and held back the tears that you desperately wanted to shed. You knew you shouldn’t, but you let yourself think of Touya. You thought about what he would have been like if he had gone to UA. If he had become a hero. If you had met him under better circumstances. Would the two of you still have ended up together? Without your mountains of combined trauma would you even be the same people?

“You ready? We should head out soon or we’ll be late for your appointment.”

You rubbed your eyes and sniffled, “Yeah… let’s get this over with.”

Bravo wasn’t allowed in the medical side of the bunker, so you made a quick detour to your room to drop him off. Shoto quietly following behind you. “So how are things with you and Bakugo?”

You groaned and rubbed your temples.

Shoto chuckled, “That good huh?”

“He’s been hovering over me like I’m going to shatter into a million pieces at the slightest inconvenience. I appreciate what he’s trying to do… but it’s just too much. I told him I needed space… and we had a fight. He hasn’t spoken to me in two days.”

Shoto whistled, “I never thought I’d see the day that the two of you had a real fight. Sure, you always bickered like an old married couple growing up. But on anything serious he always caved to your every wish.” He paused at your door, “Wait. So, are you the reason he’s been extra grumpy lately?”

You blushed, “I don’t know… Maybe?”

You gave Bravo an extra scratch behind his ear before closing the door. At that same moment you heard the door next door click shut. Your eyes snapped up to meet Katsuki’s. “Oh hey… I didn’t know you were back from the surface yet.”

“Got back early this morning… I was actually on my way to see you. You have a time to get an early lunch? I want to talk to you about something.”

You played with the ends of your hair, which was an immediate give away that you were nervous. “I actually have some plans with Shoto. But I’m free after that. Shouldn’t take too long though.”

His eyes narrowed at your nervous posture and you cursed how well he knew you. “Oh yeah? What are you guys up to? Maybe I’ll tag along.”

You began to stutter but thankfully Shoto interrupted, “Clingy isn’t a good look for you Bakugo. Like she said… it’s not going to take long. Just wait here and she’ll be back soon.”

You saw Katsuki bristle and decided to step in before he picked a fight with Shoto. You stepped over to him and put your hand on his shoulder. “Hey, I just dropped Bravo off. He’s had some pretty bad separation anxiety lately so why don’t you go to my apartment and hang out with him while I’m gone. Make some coffee, pick out a movie or something. I’ll be back soon, and we can talk then.”

His posture softened as he looked you up and down. It was obvious to him that you were nervous. But he was trying his hardest to give you the space you wanted. He pulled you to him as he sighed, trapping you in his arms. “Okay fine. I’ll babysit the mutt. Can you do me a favor and bring back some migraine medication from the medical ward. My heads killing me.”

You nodded stiffly, hoping it was just a coincidence he needed something from the medical ward. “Not a problem. I have the weighted blanket you gave me on the couch if you want to take a nap while I’m gone. You look like you could use one.”

He squeezed you tighter to him. “I’ll be fine.” He leaned his head on top of yours. “I’ll be better once we stop fighting about stupid shit though.” He pressed a quick kiss to the side of your head, “I’ll see you when you get back.” He released you and looked to Shoto, “Try to behave. The two of you hanging out makes me nervous.”

Shoto chuckled, “Good. You should be nervous. If you don’t figure your shit out soon, I’ll be taking your best friend spot… Kacchan.”

You snorted as you pulled Shoto away. “Are you trying to get your ass kicked? You know only Izuku gets away with calling him that! Well… and me when he’s in a good mood. But even that’s pushing it.”

“Oh, he’ll get over it. He needs a reality check. He thinks the world revolves around him.” He led you down the hall. “He can be such a pain sometimes. But I will admit he’s so much easier to be around now than when we were in high school.” He bumped your shoulder, “In a way it’s thanks to you. As sad as it is, when you went missing, he matured. It was like out of nowhere he realized there were more important things in the world then him and his hero status.”

Something about talking about Katsuki’s emotional vulnerability while walking to the clinic to check if you were pregnant with Dabi’s child made you feel slimy. “Can we talk about something else. Literally anything else. How are you and Izuku doing?”

“Good… we settled into our room. It’s a nice enough room… but it’s right next to my dad’s room. Apparently he’s thought all this time that we were just roommates.” He threw his hands up and scoffed, “Honestly! Did he think we were both professional heroes, making tons of money, but couldn’t afford to live on our own?”

You giggled, “That sounds awkward. These walls aren’t exactly thick.”

“Oh believe me I know. And I don’t care. Poor Izuku though can’t even look my dad in the eye now without blushing.”

You laughed so hard you had to wipe away a tear. “Aw poor Izuku… He’s too innocent for this world.”

Shoto scoffed, “Innocent my ass. That man is a freak in—”

You held up a hand. “Stop, stop, stop! I don’t want to know. He is a pure innocent little muffin who used to braid my hair before workouts.”

“I thought Bakugo was the one who braided your hair? I can’t imagine him being okay with Izuku being that close to you.”

You laughed. “Oh he wasn’t at first. But mostly because Izuku was better than him at something. Kats liked to braid my hair in private while we watched TV.” You shook your head at the memory, “He actually got to be really good at it eventually.”

Shoto had succeeded in distracting you long enough to make the trip to the medical ward, but now that you were here the anxiety was creeping back in.

You paused before crossing the threshold. You knew it was important to find out once and for all if you were pregnant. But you were also enjoying living in ignorance. The fact that you didn’t know meant that you could live your life as normal. If you were pregnant… it would flip your entire world upside down. You would have a life you would be responsible for, a little human that would constantly remind you of the love that almost broke you.

If you weren’t pregnant then… you didn’t know how you would feel. Would you be relieved? Would you mourn?

Your hand found your flat stomach and clenched your shirt. You took a few steps further into the ward and was hit an overwhelming sterile smell. Your breathing hitched and your knees shook. It was too clean. It was too white. It reminded you too much of the lab.

Shoto’s hand took yours and gave it a soft tug. “Hey. It’s fine. You don’t have to do all of this. I can go in and request a pregnancy test and we can go back and do this in your room. Would that make you feel better?”

You shook your head, “Katsuki’s there…”

Shoto’s shoulders sagged, “At this point I think he’d be more upset at you hiding this from him. I’m not telling you how to live your life. I think you’ve earned the right to do whatever the fuck you want. But if it were me… I’d want as big of a support system as I could get…”

You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought about it. Did you want Katsuki to know? How would he react? What if you were pregnant? Would he be disgusted with you? Would he want to help? Your head was spiraling down a rabbit hole of what it and it was starting to make you dizzy.

“Hey, breathe! Just take a deep breath. Let’s get you out of here before you have a panic attack. Wait outside for me. I’ll get everything we need.

You pushed the wave of anxious nausea down and gave a shaky nod. “Okay… But remember to get some migraine medication for Ka—”

“Yeah. Yeah, I remember. Go sit down outside and try and focus on your breathing I’ll be right back.”

You made your way outside and immediately sat down and leaned your forehead on your knees. You needed to get these invasive thoughts under control. You thought about what Dabi used to do. He would sit with you and try and distract you by talking about random shit. You knew he’d be pissed if he knew his younger brother left you all alone during one of your episodes. The thought of him yelling at Shoto was almost enough to make you chuckle.

You took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds and started listing animals that start with the letter A. When you couldn’t think of any more you breathed out. Then you repeated the process with the letter B, then C. You had made it F when Shoto made his way back to you.

“Okay, so they gave me some weird looks. Which makes sense considering I am a gay man asking for pregnancy tests. But they didn’t ask too many questions. I have two tests, a bottle of water, some Tylenol, and a phone number for a doctor… you know, for if it’s positive.”

You took his outstretched hand and stood up. “Okay… let’s get this over with.”

Every step towards your room felt heavier than the last. You just wanted to curl up under your blanket and pretend none of this was happening.

You hesitated at your door for a few moments before remembering you were a tough bitch and barreled through it full of false confidence.

You expected to see Katsuki lounging on the couch watching something on the tiny TV. Instead you found him passed out with Bravo curled up next to him. The sight of it calmed your nerves.

“Hey Shoto, can you get some coffee going? I’m going to wake him up.” You tiptoed over to him and sat on the edge of the couch. “Hey…” You shook his shoulder. “Kats? Wake up. I need to tell you something…”

Katsuki grumbled and his arm snaked around you, pulling you down to his level. “Shhh, m’head hurts.”

You giggled “Hey stop I’m being serious… I need you to get up.”

One of his eyes cracked open. “What’s up you sound like you’ve been crying.”

You sighed, “I haven’t been crying, but I am… stressed…” He sat up and moved so you were sitting facing each other. He nodded urging you to go on. “So… The reason Dabi uh… locked me in his office was so he could go to the store to uh… buy a…. pregnancy test.”

Your eyes stared at your hands and you heard him suck in a breath. “Are you? …Pregnant I mean.”

You shrugged, “I don’t know… we got some tests from the medical ward today and I’m about to take them. I’m just… a little scared.”

A medicine bottle whistled through the air and smacked Katsuki in the face. “We got you your medicine too. You’re welcome.” Shoto was smirking over by the coffee maker.

Katsuki groaned as he stood up. “One of these days I’m gonna kick the shit out of you, IcyHot Bastard.”

He stretched and held a hand out to you. “Alright, come on. Let’s go piss on a stick.”

You felt a weight starting to lift from your shoulders. “Wait. So you’re not mad?”

He narrowed his eyes at you, “Why would I be mad? I knew what the two of you were doing. It’s not like you cheated on me. As much as I wish we were, we aren’t together.” His thumb came up to brush a tear away that you didn’t even know had fallen. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily Y/N. You being pregnant wouldn’t change how I feel about you. I would even be willing to tell people it’s mine if it makes it easier for you. Just tell me what you need, and I’ll do it.”

It was quite for a few moments, while you absorbed and processed this new development. He was surprisingly calm about all of this, and it was making it easier for you as well.

“God you’re whipped.” Shoto handed the pregnancy test to you but was smart enough to remain behind you so Katsuki couldn’t hit him.

You left the boys to bicker as you entered your tiny bathroom alone. You peed on both of the sticks and set a timer on Katsuki’s phone. The next three minutes were the longest three minutes of your life.

You paced as you tried to think of anything else. But your thoughts kept going back to that night when Dabi held you in his recliner after fucking you. He had asked about you having a baby. He had sounded so hopeful. His eyes so bright at the idea of you having a kid with him. Part of you couldn’t believe that was an act. He had seemed so sincere. You thought about how he would react if he knew you were taking a test right now.

The timer went off.

Shit.

Was your whole life about to change?

With shaky hands you picked up the first test. You held your breath as you looked to the second one to confirm it.

You opened the door with tears in your eyes.

“So, what’s it say? Am I going to be an uncle?”

You let out an audible sob. “I don’t know why I’m so upset right now.” You showed them the tests. “They’re both negative.”

Katsuki wrapped you in a hug and ran his fingers up and down your back. “It’s okay to be sad. Shoto made some coffee, I don’t have plans today. We can hang out here until you feel better.”

You cried into Katsuki’s chest as you watched some cheesy movie. He didn’t say anything. He wouldn’t even know what to say if he thought it would help.

You were grieving a child you never had, and a love that was nothing but lies. You needed to let it out. You needed to grieve so you could move on. And this is how you do that.

By the time the credits rolled your eyes were dry and you nose stuffy. “You said you wanted to talk to me about something earlier…?”

Katsuki stiffened, “Yeah, but I think it can wait. You’ve already had a rough day.”

You shook your head, “No… I want to know. I’m just going to worry about it until you tell me. I’d rather you just rip the Band-Aid off.”

He nodded, “We got word that Dabi may have been seen by your old place. We aren’t sure it was him though. Toga had been previously spotted as well, so it’s more likely that it was her. But either way, it looks like the LOV is sniffing around.”

“W—What makes you think it was Toga?”

He cleared his throat, “We have an informant working in the LOV and he told us the last thing he heard about Dabi was that Shigaraki had sent a team to collect him… but when they came back they were bloody and he wasn’t with them.”

You sighed, “Of course he wasn’t.”

*************

*The Laws* 1. No fucking shrugging 2. No drugs 3. No saying sorry for something that isn’t your fault 4.We work on communication every day 5. Wake up whenever the hell you want 6. No locked doors 7. We eat three full meals a day 8. No means no, no negotiations 9. We work on exercise every day 10. Ice cream must be kept in stock at all times 11. Accept help when it is offered 12. No lying 13. I will not initiate the sexy time without written or verbal consent.

************

Tags: tags: @falling4fandoms @wifunozomi @here-in-never-land @whore-for-anime @klecksstorys @aurorahoneybuns @theunknownrandom @insane-without-delirium @frenchsfryys @officiallydarkgeek @neofixcs @music-is-all-i-need @katsuki-bakubabe@unadulteratedtastemakerpoetry@dabislittlemouse@aimee1602@pinkhatlizzy @kunaigirlx44 @nii-sanfucker@bestgirlb @silver-stardrop@bakubby99 @squichymochi @sarahschance @babayaga67@starenemy

#bakugo katsuki imagine #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #mha bakugou #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #dabi my hero academia #dabi imagine #dabi #yandere dabi #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #dabi x reader #dabi bnha #mha dabi #dabi todoroki #mha fanfiction #mha x reader #my hero academia

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kaiwewi · 3 years

Text

Time After Time: [original]

FORMERLY KNOWN AS SNIPPET#4. I wasn’t satisfied with this version, since it contains head-hopping and ambiguous pov. So, I wrote two new improved versions of this scene. [hero version] [villain version]

“Who died?” A familiar voice asked from behind them.

The hero whirled around, their stomach tying itself into a knot. Today wasn’t the day they’d wanted to face the other. Not here of all places, and certainly not now! They swallowed the lump in their throat and clenched their fists in preparation for the fight that should have followed.

The villain, however, raised their hands in a placating gesture. “Easy!” They said. “I didn’t come to pick a fight with you. Not on a graveyard. I can see absolutely no merit in disrespecting the dead. Seems distasteful, no?”

Slowly, the hero allowed their shoulders to relax. “Ah, right.” They mumbled and lowered their eyes.

“Who died?” The villain repeated, softer this time.

They quietly regarded the hero. Careful and hesitant, almost as if the other was a fragile thing. And maybe they were. They’d known them forever, and yet the villain had never seen the hero like this before. Their childhood friend’s eyes looked red and puffy on that too pale face. They must have been crying a lot.

The villain knew they shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t care. They weren’t friends anymore.

Things were different now.

Things should have been different now.

The hero’s gaze shifted to a fresh grave a few metres behind them, covered with flowers left by people who’d attended the funeral earlier that day. They couldn’t help but wonder whether those were truly meant as gifts for the deceased, or rather a vain attempt at cheering up those left behind.

“My dad.” The hero murmured. “He had a heart attack last week.” They almost choked on the words and had to fight back new tears.

It was a losing battle.

How a few more tears now could feel that shameful a defeat, the hero couldn’t fathom. It seemed odd, considering the many other times the villain had seen them during their most vulnerable moments. On countless occasions, the other had comforted the hero, when they’d been bawling their eyes out over some idiotic things that all seemed so trivial now.

There probably wasn’t a single person they had cried in front of more often.

But somehow that made it so much worse.

“I’m sorry to hear it.” The villain said politely, a sad little frown on their face. “You have my condolences.”

Well, if that didn’t sound petty and hollow...

A few more empty phrases to be added to all those they’d already heard today.

The hero snorted mirthlessly. “You are kidding, right?” They shot the other a critical look. A hint of a dare had crept into their voice. “We both know you never liked my father.”

The villain grimaced. “True, I can’t say I did.” They admitted and smiled apologetically. “But, in my defence, he wasn’t exactly a fan of mine either.”

“Oh, that’s quite an understatement, don’t you think?” The hero remarked coldly and cocked an eyebrow. “My dad absolutely hated you.”

Quite unexpectedly, their childhood friend chuckled. The familiar sound made the hero’s heart lurch. It took them a moment to reign in their emotions and clear their head.

This person in front of them wasn’t their friend.

Not anymore.

And yet the villain still possessed that mellow smile and those cute dimples that formed on their cheeks, which the hero used to find so adorable.

“Yeah, he did despise me, didn’t he?” The villain made a show of rolling their eyes dramatically. A wry smirk spread on their face. “Remember that one time, when we tried to ‘borrow’ one of his chickens?”

As if the hero would ever be able to forget that…

A sentimental smile appeared on their face. “We stole the key to the hen cope. Everything went perfectly according to plan, and then Dad spotted us from the balcony. Just as we were about to abscond with the bird.” They shook their head and huffed what might have been a laugh. “God, Dad was totally furious.”

The villain snorted. “Yeah, at me! First he only yelled, telling me how I was such a bad influence on you,” They met the other’s gaze with an expression of mock incredulity. “And then he tried to murder me!”

“No, he didn’t! He merely-“ The hero bit down hard on their lip, trying to stifle the laugh threatening to spill. This wasn’t funny. Or at least it shouldn’t be. They shouldn’t even have a conversation like this, let alone enjoy the villain’s weird antics!

They shook their head. “You’re grossly exaggerating! He only threw a couple shoes at you.”

“One of his damn boots hit the back of my head! You have no idea how much that hurt!” The villain complained indignantly, crossing their arms in front of their chest. “Plus, stealing the stupid chicken wasn’t even my idea. That was all on you!”

The hero couldn’t argue that point. It had indeed been their idea. Just like pretty much all of the other terrible ideas that had ever landed the two of them in trouble.

Okay, they had to admit, this was funny. A little bit.

The villain couldn’t help but feel a burst of pride at finally getting the hero to laugh sincerely. Laughter certainly suited the other so much better than sadness did. It transformed their tired face, softened the edges, made them look oh so young again.

And just like that, their face was that of a friend, their voice a touch of nostalgia. The villain swallowed.

The hero’s laughter slowly turned into a chuckle. Then they hummed good-naturedly. “That day, we were in such a hurry to get away, we forgot to close the door to the hen cope. Do you remember that? Those damn birds were suddenly all over the yard. It was quite a mess.”

Not as much of a mess as my priorities apparently, the villain thought wryly. They allowed themself a breathy laugh. “Yeah, of course I do! Wasn’t it such a pain to catch them afterwards?”

“It was kind of fun actually, don’t you think?”

A grin tugged at the hero’s lips. So genuine that the villain was sure the other must have momentarily forgotten everything that had since happened between them.

Their eyes suddenly met.

“I miss you!” The villain blurted and instantly regretted their moment of weakness. They hadn’t meant to say that. It didn’t matter that it was the truth. They shouldn’t even feel this way about the hero. Not that they could just force themself to stop caring now, but still…

The hero’s gaze was a question. Their eyes fixed on the villain in an unreadable expression, a slight frown on an otherwise comically blank face.

The villain quickly averted their eyes and took a step back. The scrunching sound made by the gravel shifting under their boots seemed oddly loud in the silence that had suddenly descended upon them.

Shit.

Now they’d done it. What had they been thinking, uttering these silly words that should never have been spoken, least of all in front of the hero? And what a stupid thing they’d said! What a ridiculous situation they’d gotten themself into! Reminiscing on fond memories one shared with their foe? Who in their right mind would do that?!

If only the hero hadn’t looked so sad, so lonely and lost.

Like a friend in need.

Only they weren’t a friend.

This was insane. A foolish mistake.

“Please, forget I said that.” Awkwardly, the villain rubbed the back of their neck. “Sorry.” They mumbled, as they turned to leave.

“Wait!”

Before the hero could take the time to think any better of it, they’d already gripped the villain’s shoulder and pulled them back. When the villain froze, too surprised to offer the appropriate resistance, the hero swiftly wrapped their arms around them, buried their face in the crook of the villain’s neck.

Neither of them moved. The hero could feel the beat of a heart against their chest, quick and excited, whose they weren’t sure.

“Hero, I should go.” The villain murmured and gently tried to push the other away.

This just wasn’t an option.

“Villain, please!” The hero’s voice was barely more than a whisper as they shifted to meet the villain’s gaze. “I miss you too.”

The villain shuddered at the longing in the other’s eyes; the raw, undisguised urgency. How they reflected the villain’s own vulnerability back at them. They cursed the tiny smile that showed on those lovely lips, as the hero leaned further into the embrace. So close, their breath fanned warm against the villain’s skin.

They couldn’t do this, could they?

It wasn’t fair.

Things shouldn’t be like that between them.

“You’re not thinking straight.” The villain tried weakly. “You’ll regret this.”

Please stop!

But the hero only shook their head lightly. They weren’t going to let this go. Because even now, after all those years, the villain was still the same. Always caring and kind toward the hero.

Soft-hearted and tender.

So easy to take advantage of.

“I don’t care.” The hero replied and stole what would be the first of many kisses.

———

For my other stories, visit my [MASTERLIST] ♥

#snippet #heroes and villains #hero x villain #villain x hero #hero #villain #lonely hero #nice villain #childhood friends #foemance #enemies to lovers #friends to enemies to lovers #time after time

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apinklion01 · 2 years

Text

Trailing Along the Dark

Day Eighteen and Twenty-Seven: Spider Lily and Burial.

A03 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34214308/chapters/86994121

<- Previous Next -> Warning for mention of death.

Ji-Ji is a westified background character that a few others along with myself turned into Kwan’s sister.

The sky was gray today, covering up any hint of the sun. While the weather forecast said there wouldn’t be any rain, Kwan kept an umbrella tucked in his arm. He didn’t want to get soaked.

His other arm was busy holding a pot of spider lilies, which were red. Right beside him, Ji-Ji, his younger sister, held another one with golden spider lilies.

“Are you sure it’s okay for us to go to the cemetery?” She asked.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine,” Kwan said.

“But what if a ghost attacks us?”

“As long as we don’t do anything to bother them, they shouldn’t hurt us. Unless it’s that weird ghost who likes boxes, then we’ve got nothing to be scared about.”

The grim appearance of the cemetery was a stark contrast to the rest of Amity Park, its old iron gates foreboding. Ivy creeped up on the posts, and the trees planted inside were mere skeletons without their leaves.

Both siblings stood at the gates, which were unlocked during the day hours. “Well… here goes nothing,” Kwan said as he walked in first, Ji-Ji quickly following behind him.

A few graves had some fresh flowers. Others weren’t as lucky, and had either wilted flowers or none at all. Kwan had made the trip to the cemetery enough times to know exactly where to go.

Finally he stopped near an unusual spot: a small garden near a grave, flowers still blooming nearby. Aside from the dull green grass, it was the only sign of life.

“Hi Aunt Yun,” He spoke gently. “Min-Ji and I came here to see you.”

He remembered the funeral in pieces. His mom and Uncle Yong crying from losing their sister, his dad busy holding Ji-Ji’s hand. Ji-Ji herself was five, but she said she couldn’t remember Aunt Yun at all.

Meanwhile Kwan remembered planting a calla lily close to the grave.

“Aunt Yun liked seeing flowers,” He said to his dad, still saddened over her death, but more concerned that she would miss her garden. “Do you think she’d like some?”

His dad gave a nod. “Not a bad idea, Kwan.”

So whenever it was her birthday or her death day, Kwan would come and plant some more flowers. He didn’t have a green thumb by any means, but some advice from the goth girl, Sam, gave him enough tips as for what new flowers he should get.

“I got you some spider lilies,” He continued. “Ji-Ji’s here to help me. She’s been doing well in school, though she attends a different one than Casper High. I still think she’ll be transferring in the spring semester.”

“No way,” Ji-Ji said. “Classes are hard already, I don’t want ghosts to make studying harder.”

“And you’re getting A’s and B’s on all of them, and they’re AP classes!”

“Well aren’t you going to tell Aunt Yun how you’re doing?”

Kwan sighed. “Fine. I’ve been getting B’s and one C, but only one! I’m hoping to do well on a class assignment and bring my grade up in English by a bit. Football’s going great, you should’ve seen the game we played on Sunday. I don’t think our school’s ever gone this far in the season. Coach thinks we might make it to the championships!”

He smiled, but it was bittersweet. “Mom said she was busy today, but she might come tomorrow to see you along with Dad. Uncle Yong still takes care of your garden, and if I don’t have school work, I come along with him.”

“... I miss you… a lot… hope you’re okay where you are…”

Kwan forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat, but his eyes felt watery. A careful step behind the grave, and he began digging the spot for the spider lilies to grow. Ji-Ji walked over and began helping out by clearing away any weeds among the plants.

“You want to know why I chose these flowers?”

“Why?” “Sam said that they’re often used on graves to make sure nobody tries digging them up, or to guide them to the afterlife. I don’t think we have to worry about the first one, but better safe than sorry with all the ghosts around.”

“...Do you think she’s a ghost?”

Kwan paused from digging. “I don’t know. Maybe? I’m sure we would’ve seen her by now, or she would’ve seen us.”

Ji-Ji gave a thoughtful hum. “Yeah, and I don’t think she would want to scare Mom or Uncle Yong.”

Kwan took out the spider lilies from their pots and placed them evenly apart. They seemed to make the garden more beautiful than before.

“Is it bad that I still can’t remember her?”

He looked at his younger sister, who was looking over the garden and the grave. “I mean you guys talk about her a lot, but I’m not sad. I should feel something, I should be able to say something, but… nothing’s there.”

He patted her head. “It’s okay. It’s enough that you’re here with me knowing she was important to me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah… Awkward sibling hug?”

“Awkward sibling hug.”

Both hugged each other, and then turned around. As they left, Kwan felt a warm breeze, and the scent of jasmine tea. Exactly like the kind that Aunt Yun made.

He paused and turned around. But the scent was gone.

“Bye Aunt Yun,” He whispered and then caught up with Ji-Ji.

They walked silently out of the cemetery but froze when they heard a low rumble. Both siblings jumped upon seeing lightning tear up the sky.

“I knew that the weather guy was wrong,” Kwan muttered.

“Race you home!” Ji-Ji said, giving him a playful shove before streaking down the sidewalk.

“Oh you’re on,” Kwan said, charging up behind her.

#danny phantom #ectober 2021 #ectoberhaunt 2021 #ectoberweek 2021 #ectoberhaunt trick #ectoberhaunt treat #dp kwan

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captainjimothycarter · 3 years

Note

What are Steve's wedding vows to Peggy?

Hey i wrote something since like Saturday. kinda proud of myself despite BAD anxiety over this.

“Are you ready, Steve?”

The question came from Edwin Jarvis, the man sticking his head in through the curtains to smile at the nervous Captain. Steve just held up the bowtie in despair, trying to hide the shake in his fingers.

“I can mull down hundreds of Nazis. I can fight Hydra to the bone and-and nearly be killed by a frozen tundra, but what defeats me is a god dang bow tie!”

Jarvis laughed as he stepped into the small side room, giving him a comforting smile. “You know,” he mused as he started to do the tie. “When I was marrying my Ana, I was so nervous I fainted right as we got to I do.”

Steve felt himself gap, looking the man up and down. He could picture that, not that he would say it. He felt like he might faint before he even got out to where Bucky and Colonel Phillips were waiting for him.

“When I came to, my head was in Ana’s lap and I insisted she was an angel. She practically is - not that I’ll ever insist anything different. She’s never let me live that down, that rascal. The point is, Captain Rogers,” the man smirked as he finished the tie and smoothed it out along Steve’s neck. “It’s okay to be nervous.”

“I’m...Captain America, I shouldn’t be nervous, I wasn’t nervous when-”

“Let me ask you something,” Jarvis spoke over him, patting the guy’s shoulders to get him to sit down. He pulled a comb out of nowhere and started to fix Steve’s mousy hair from his constant fingers combing through it. All Steve could do was look on in the mirror. “When you bulldozed through of Hydra agents or lead your Howling Commandos through countless missions or did whatever you did in what the reports do not say, were you nervous?”

“Of course not, those guys depended on me. I couldn’t afford to be nervous or second think my actions, someone might’ve died.” Plenty of people did, in ways Steve could’ve never stopped or predicted unless he’d been there, but he was one person.

Not that Jarvis was asking about this.

“Exactly. They depended on you. You needed to be ready for anything, to overcome anything Hydra would’ve thrown at you. Yet with Miss Carter, you’re nervous about your wedding? It’s practically a tradition to be nervous. Do you know what that means?”

“That I’ll fumble my vows or drop the rings and it’ll roll into a gutter, never to be seen again?”

Jarvis snorted and lightly squeezed Steve’s shoulder. “No, Captain Rogers, it does not. It means that you love her. You love Miss Carter with every fiber of your being. It means you, my friend, will have an amazing wedding and marriage. Even if you do fumble, you can do no worse than me and fainting.”

Steve covered his face, trying to stabilize his breathing. He did love Peggy - Jarvis was right. There was no doubt about that. He loved her. Loved her so damn much he might explode. He just...was nervous.

“Being nervous,” Jarvis continued as he put the comb away and tilted Steve’s head up to inspect himself in the black and white suit. “Being nervous is a tradition. It means you love her. I’m sure Miss Carter is nervous too.”

Steve’s mouth opened to counter, Peggy couldn’t be nervous - he’s seen her stare enemies dead in the eye and not miss a beat. He’s seen her let herself get shot if it meant saving the hostage. He’s seen her survive countless trails and still stand on top at the end of the day. There’s no way Peggy was nervous. Yet, the second he opened his mouth to say something, Bucky stuck his head through the curtain.

His hair was perfectly parted thanks to his mother’s intervention. He was sure the second his ma wasn’t looking, he would mess it up. The suit he wore was a little on the older side, insisting he got to wear his dad’s suit to this wedding.

“You ready, Stevie? That green isn’t a good shade, bud.”

Steve gently swatted at Bucky’s chest as he adjusted the suit once more, trying to take in a deep breath to calm down.

“Shut up. I’m just...nervous. How’s everything looking? We ready?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be. Ole Phillips is grumbling as ever. Dugan is waiting up there, Angie is ready. We’ve already had to stop the niece and nephew from throwing the flowers everywhere.”

“Oliver and Penny really like those roses, huh?” Steve’s lips twitched into a small laugh at the idea of the kids going haywire with those roses. “And Peggy? Is she…?”

“Ana and Rose and even Howard are in there, it’s alright.” Seeing his friend’s panic look, he smoothed down his suit again, the metallic hand glimmering in the dull light of the chapel. “Let’s get this party started and get you two crazy kids married.”

“Always knew you two would end up together,” Phillips grunted as Steve stood nervously, shifting from foot to foot. “From the second she laid eyes on that scrawny form of yours.”

Steve laughed, a more forceful laugh given the nervous state he was in. He watched Jarvis politely sit down after checking in on the girls, Rose already coming up to stand by them. Bucky clapped Steve on the shoulder, squeezing him too hard.

“Told you,” he chuckled. “You two were meant to be…”

“‘cept you shouldn’t have shown up in the bar when we were having your public funeral,” Dugan interjected. “Not the best idea, Cap.”

“You’re lucky Carter didn’t shoot you on the spot, coming up with a soiled uniform, and half that glass in your chest,” Phillips grunted.

“Wouldn’t have hurt as bad, if-”

Steve stopped the second he heard Ana playing the piano, turning on his heels and towards the door.

He watched Oliver and Penny run through with the flowers, throwing them everywhere but the floor. His little giggle and the laugh through the chapel made him relax a little, but the second he saw Peggy, everything was back in full force.

She was...beautiful, spectacular. A thousand words he couldn’t think to say. His mind nothing but a fine-tuned sound of buzzing as he watched her slowly walk through that door. Ana had worked perfectly on that dress, the trim, the lace, every down to the last details of the pearls knitted into the collar.

Steve could feel the tears burning in his eyes as she slowly stood in front of him, hearing in the corner of his mind, Phillips muttering about sap.

He loved her.

“You look…” Steve struggled with the word as he held onto her glove-laced hands, looking down at them and slowly back to those beautiful hazel eyes that he’d fallen in love with before he even knew what color they were.

“I know,” Peggy finished, squeezing his hands. “You look pretty dashing yourself. We-”

“How about we get this show on the road, huh?” Phillips asked, breaking the silence, and the music slowly melted into the background. “We all knew we’d end up here today. It was just a matter of time and if it was legal or not. I expected you two to just waltz into my tent one day and demand to be married, the laws and logic be damned.”

“Almost,” Steve mused, shrugging his shoulders. Phillips’ grey eyes were trained on him, brow rose as if to ask what. “I proposed to Peggy after she’d been shot during the hostage situation of ‘44.”

“Son.” The tone said all and the Howling Commandos laughed the loudest. Steve glanced over to see Peggy’s side of the family, most with pursed lips. They still weren’t pleased that their daughter was marrying a Yankee.

“We told him to do it,” Dugan interjected.

“Dared him, actually,” Jones added.

“Double-dog dared him,” Bucky said.

“Actually, we told him to do it or we would on his behalf,” Pinky reminded them.

“We-”

Phillips’ look silenced Falsworth on the spot, the man clearing his throat and stepping back in line. “We’re no longer at war, boys, you don’t have to keep defending your Captain under insane circumstances. I’ll never forget about the damn goat incident.”

It was only a few minutes later before Phillips cleared his throat again and nodded towards the couple. “The couple has written their own vows. Ca-Steve, would you like to go first?”

Steve blinked as he felt Peggy’s eyes on him, trying to calm his racing heart down. “Okay, yeah. Yeah,” he breathed, taking the paper Dugan had passed him. “I stayed up till 4 in the morning working on this. Mr. Jarvis had to eventually take the pen from me so I’d sleep.”

“And he didn’t accept my help,” Howard muttered just loud enough for Steve to hear, making the Captain flush.

“Okay, here it goes,” Steve breathed, unfolding the paper and trying not to let how nervous he was shown. His hands were already starting to shake and he was afraid sweat would ruin the ink.

Peggy’s hand gently closed around his wrist and offered him a comforting smile. “It’s okay, darling. Just us. Not a whole platoon of guys to play Star-Spangled Man With A Plan.”

If he wasn’t blushing then, he was now.

“Peggy, I…” Steve looked down at the paper and back up at her. He could hear Jarvis’s voice in the back of his head telling him that when he got up there, he’d know what to say. Fumbling or not.

“Peggy, I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you and I didn’t know it. I didn’t know what the color of your lips was or the color of your eyes or your hair or even your uniform. I didn’t know the true sound of your voice or the smell of the roses on your skin. I didn’t know much then - hell I don’t know much now -”

A few people laughed and Steve lowered the paper, looking dead into his wife-to-be eyes.

“I didn’t know much then. I just knew you were hell on high heels and damn anyone who got in your path. When you first knocked out Hodge, I felt my breath taken away. When you ran for the grenade too, I wanted my last sight to be of you, swore I was goin’ blow myself up to a million pieces. Our first conversation in that car might’ve been one of our lasts and I was glad it was with you, someone who understood me. Understood what it was like to be discriminated against because we’re us… Because I was sickly and small and you were a woman, a girl, a-”

“You still don’t know how to talk to women, do you?” Peggy asked, blinking the tears from her eyes and making Steve give a wet laugh.

“I”m afraid not, how I managed to get you to fall in love with me is a wonder. The point is, Pegs, I love you, from the bottom of my heart. All through the war, we talked about what we wanted after. I insisted on a white-picket fence, a house in some neighborhood, that we’d build the perfect life together and well...you saw where that lead us. Me to a watery grave and you punching me out when I showed up at that bar. Even if I was late for our dance.

I just...I love you. Life has taken us on insane turns from clearing our friend’s name to-to living in LA for a few months. To...to here. To me finally getting the guts to purpose to you. Or more like catching my breath. I need you in my life and I’m lucky to have you. I’m more than happy to sit on the sidelines and let you work, to raise our kids or tend to a home, to do anything you ask. I’m more than happy to just be yours. I just...I need to be yours like I need to breathe. You are my life, Peggy Carter, and I’ll have no other but you. I’m lucky to be your husband, to be by your side through it all.”

Peggy didn’t bother to hide the few tears running down her face, thankful Angie had fixed her makeup just right to prevent the tear streaks from showing. She cleared her face off with the handkerchief Rose had given her and sniffled.

“Sap,” she laughed, shaking her head. “I stayed up late last night but not writing these vows. I...told myself I knew what I was going to say when I got up here, but I’m mistaken. I can only say I love you, Steve Rogers. You are my life. My soul. When I was young, I insisted I wouldn’t marry. I insisted my life was to slay dragons, rescue knights, be a pirate. To be anything but the lady my mother wanted me to be.

I insisted I knew what I wanted for myself. That I-I wanted to be a codebreaker and I was good at it. I-”

“And saved our lives with it,” Howard said, causing them to laugh.

“Yes, Howard, thank you. I am good at it. I’m great at it. I insisted that’s all I could do to help the war effort, to maybe consider becoming a nurse but my mother and Fred forbidden it. I insisted I loved Fred because my mother did. I insisted that I could do some good by staying home, being the good wife, and keeping my head down. I insisted on a lot of things but for myself…

It took Micheal’s death for me to see there was more for me out there. The SSR was life-changing for me. Getting to serve under Colonel Phillips’ here, getting to meet you, even if you were...different.”

“It’s okay, call him a shrimp like I did,” Phillips interjected, making Peggy give a wet chuckle. “Kid got that sandwich after all.”

He swore the man smiled at him - even if Steve wouldn’t admit it.

“You were different. You stood out from the rest and it was because of your good heart. Yes the grenade incident, but you helped the nurses around the base. You helped collect herbs for them when we ran out of pain killers, you remembered decades-old healing practices that your mother taught you. You gave some of the guys, even if they were bastards to you, advice on how to fix their broken shoelaces or how to even hide the knives better in their clothes. You were kind and sweet-hearted and I wanted you from the start.

Even after your serum, you didn’t change. You saved that kid. You saved me, even if I was quite upset about it.”

“You did yell at me a lot for pushing you out of the way,” Steve interrupted, remembering that chaotic day.

“You were running with no shoes on and shoved me out of the way of an oncoming car. I had to yell about something.” She smoothed down his suit and sighed, shaking the veil. “Even after that, Steve, I...I love you. I loved you from the start. During the war, that love only grew. I thought we hid it well.”

“No,” Bucky snorted. “No, you two did not. Everyone knew.”

“Yes, thank you, James,” Peggy huffed, giving her friend a roll of her eyes. “That love for you grew and I’m only sorry we didn’t act sooner, that we didn’t kiss more or-or risk it to just touch each other in blatant public when we needed the comfort because it was a war. I am sorry that it took this long to get here - but we’re here. Look at us. We’re here, sweetheart. We’re getting married after all in a setting of our choice, with our friends and family. It’s worth the wait.”

“You’re always worth the wait,” Steve whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I love you,” Peggy whispered, squeezing his hands. “I loved you then, to now, and forevermore. I’ll never stop loving you, no part of my soul will be complete without you. You are my light, Steven Grant Rogers, as I am your compass, your true star north. You are my light and I want nothing more from you than a life that we paved together.”

There was no dry eye around them, even the grisled Colonel was sniffing slightly and wiping at his eyes. He squeezed the book in his hand and gave the couple a warm smile. “Aren’t you two kids sweet? Why don’t we wrap this up so you two can kiss like how you did in the supply closets?”

Steve felt his ears burn, turning back to Peggy and holding her hands. He wasn’t sure how he survived the rest of the ceremony. Of Bucky bringing the rings to them, his ma’s old ring that Howard had cleaned up and engraved with their wedding date on it. Peggy’s father’s wedding band.

He wasn’t sure how he barely got the words I do our before Peggy was jumping on him to kiss him and Steve’s arms found a way around her frame to pick her up and kiss the life out of her.

The wedding they dreamed of and feared that they never had.

A life yet to come with many memories down the road.

#Steggy #StevePeggy #Steggy Prompt #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Howling Commandos #Fluff #Steggy Fic

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fandom-imagines-stories · 3 years

Text

Black Umbrellas

Josh Lyman x Reader

Words: 2277

Part One

Summary: The funeral arrives and everything seems to fall apart. Josh tries to keep his temper in check with Celia, but soon the reason behind their ongoing feud is revealed.

Notes: Josh is definitely one of my favorite fictional characters and it seems like more of you are liking his imagines. As always, comments are always welcome!- Side note: I know that it’s been forever since I posted part one to this, and I’m very sorry. I hope to be writing for more West Wing, including more characters.

It was just like he would have wanted. The morning was bright and sunny and began with laughter. Josh was standing in the kitchen with your mother and something he had said made her laugh, making the rest of you feel a little lighter on a day that would leave a great deal of weight on your hearts. It’s how your dad would have wanted his funeral to start. Not with sorrow, but with the sense of being together.

Your mother made blueberry pancakes for breakfast using your dad’s famous recipe and the three of you had coffee on the porch. Celia and Thomas were still asleep, so there was no danger of an argument breaking out for now.

“It’s a beautiful day.” Marissa hummed, taking a sip of her coffee. Josh nodded in agreement, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, drinking in the morning sun as it rose over the trees.

“How are you feeling?” He whispered as you rested your head on his shoulder. You shrugged.

“Best that I can be, I guess.” He nodded in understanding and sweetly kissed the top of your head.

“I’ll be here the whole time.” You placed a hand on his leg, drawing circles on the denim. You loved it when he wore jeans. It made him feel like he was yours for the day and not rushing off to assist in a national crisis. But even now, he was still the Deputy Chief of Staff.

You probably noticed his pager buzzing before he did. He looked at you mournfully, his tone apologetic. “I’ve got a call from Leo.”

You gave him a small smile and a node. “You better take it.”

He moved out onto the lawn for some privacy and your mother gave your hand a gentle pat.

“You picked a good one.” She smiled. You both watched as he ran a hand down his face, his expression morphing from saddened to angered to calm in a matter of seconds.

“Is he seriously working right now?” Your sister’s shrill criticizing voice emerged from inside the house.

“He’s the Deputy Chief of Staff for the President,” You scoffed, “the world didn’t stop just because he’s here.”

“Sorry, I forgot. Not all of us are lowly small town journalists like me and dad.”

“Are you serious, right now?”

“No, you’re right, I’m sure it’s a matter of national security.” She spat and you stood up from the swing.

“It very well could be!” You shouted. You wanted to slap her. Who was she to criticize Josh?

“Girls!” Your mother finally interjected. You both turned your heads towards her and you immediately felt guilty, seeing the tears welling up in her eyes. “Don’t do this today. Please.”

“Sorry mom.” You both said, hanging your heads. While you could feel everything start to burn up in your chest, you pushed it down. You had to be strong today. Luckily, your own pager went off before any more arguing could occur.

“Hey Sam.” You sighed in greeting, grateful for a distraction.

“Hey, how are you doing?” His voice was sympathetic and sweet. Typical Sam.

“Okay, all things considered.” You laughed lightly, hoping to keep the conversation from getting too emotional. “How are things there?”

“Crazy as usual.” He chuckled. “I just wanted to call and check in.” There was something in his tone that told you there was more.

“Sam… something is wrong with the speech, isn’t there?”

“Well,” He blew out a breath, “Since you pushed it back, we’re speaking after Congress is handing us our asses which means that Toby needed to make some changes so we don’t sound like-”

“Kids trying to start a fight on the playground?” You finished. Josh had said the same thing.

“Yeah…”

You thought for a moment, but couldn’t focus on any one thing. “Just make sure that he sounds like we’re still coming out on top.” It was the only thing you could do.

“We’ll try.” He paused, but you already knew what he was going to say. “And Y/N-”

“I know.” You smiled slightly to yourself. “Thanks Sam.”

You strolled along the wrap-around porch, hoping to avoid Celia for at least a few more minutes, telling yourself it was the stress of the day. She would cool off eventually.

“I hope everything is doing okay.” Your mother’s comforting tone helped to calm you down. You shrugged.

“As okay as it ever is.” She nodded with understanding. She knew how messy the political world was. It didn’t stop because someone died.

Josh came back, the stress clear on his face. When he locked eyes with you, he tried to brighten up, but you could tell that there was something weighing down on his shoulders. You implored him with a look, but he shrugged it off.

“The usual.” He whispered, draping his arm around you again. “Don’t worry about it.” He turned to your mother with a sad smile. “Leo McGarry and The President send their deepest sympathies.”

“I appreciate that.” She nodded and looked out over the orchards. How was she so strong through all of this? You felt ready to fall apart at the seams, but your mother was the picture of grace. She always did everything for everyone else and now she wasn’t giving herself the chance to grieve.

Celia had gone inside to make calls to the funeral home and Thomas was in town picking up groceries. He wanted there to be one less thing for all of you to worry about.

With a few hours until the funeral, all you wanted was to make it through the day without any more arguments. Josh had a few more calls with Leo and did his best to hide it from your judgmental sister but there was still that tension between them. You took a few sympathy calls from Donna and C.J.- both of whom were very kind in expressing their regrets in not being able to make it to the funeral.

It was about noon when the President called. Your mother must have spent an hour talking to him in her office before she came back into the living room, passing off the phone to you.

��Good afternoon, Mr. President.” You started, forcing yourself to keep it together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t catch you the other day before you and Josh left.” He sighed. “I wanted to give my condolences in person.”

“My family and I appreciate it nonetheless, sir.”

“I am truly sorry for your loss, Y/N.” His fatherly tone made you want to cry. Truthfully, you’d always seen President Bartlet as your work-father more than your boss. “Bill was a good man and a good friend.”

“He would have been honored to hear you say that, sir.” There was a long moment of silence between the two of you as you both let those words sink in before he concluded.

“He was always very proud of you, Y/N. I hope you know that.”

Your breathing hitched as you held back a cry. “Thank you, Mr. President.” As you hung up, you tried to keep the tears from falling. Your quiet moment to yourself was interrupted by the sounds of whispers growing into shouts on the front porch. Celia and Josh.

As you approached, their words became more and more clear.

“When are you going to stop treating her like a child?”

“I’m sorry, but I figured I would let her go on thinking that her sister is a crazy lunatic!”

“Keep your voice down! She’ll hear you.”

“Let her hear, Celia.” Josh’s voice became a growl. “Let her hear that after all these years, you’ve just been jealous of everything that she’s been able to accomplish and you couldn’t.”

“I don’t know why we’re even having this conversation.” Celia scoffed. You opened the door a crack and watched her step closer to him. “I’m not jealous, Josh. I’m right. Y/N has had everything handed to her since the day she was born. She doesn’t deserve her job.. And she doesn’t deserve you.”

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Josh ran a hand down his face and turned away, but she was persistent.

“We met first, Josh. We started seeing each other and then you fell for her little charms just like everybody else.”

“You two were seeing each other?” You gasped, finally stepping out from behind the door. Josh let out a frustrated groan.

“No, honey, we weren’t-”

“Is that why you two are at each other’s throats all the time? Because you were together?”

“We were never together!” He exclaimed. He reached to put his hands on your shoulders, but you stepped away, staring down your older sister.

“You really think I don’t deserve my job… my husband… my life?”

She said nothing. Her mouth formed a thin line as she gave you a silent, hard stare. You wanted to slap her. You wanted to scream. Instead, the sky let out a low, tumbling growl of thunder that served as the final straw. You looked up at the darkened clouds as the first raindrop landed on your cheek.

“No no no no no. This isn’t what he would have wanted.” You cried, holding out a hand as more water fell. “It’s supposed to be sunny and beautiful and… and…”

“Y/N,” Josh started, but you didn’t hear him.

“I can’t deal with this right now.” Was all you said as you took off down the steps and towards the road. You didn’t know what to think, but the rain hitting your skin was enough to fuel your fury to hide your sadness.

“Where is she going?” Marissa asked, feeling the tension in every thunder roll. Josh slammed his hand against the porch railing.

“I don’t know. But I’ll take care of it.” He gave Celia a glare that could halt an army before running after you.

You ended up in an old tool shed somewhere in the orchard, your cries drowned out by the rain pounding against the wooden walls. Your clothes were soaked but you didn’t care. There was just an hour until the funeral and the storm didn’t show any sign of stopping. This was all wrong.

Your dad was the only one who could have fixed this mess. Whenever either you or your husband fought with Celia, he was the one that could settle everyone down and make you all laugh until your sides hurt. What if you never laughed like that again?

The rain turned into a soft- but consistent- drizzle and you were sure you heard the sound of a car approaching the shed. You heard your husband calling your name before you even opened the door.

“How did you know I’d be here?”

He gave you a long, sad look. “When you ran off, your mother said it’d be best if I took a car so we’d have someplace warm to sit and talk. She said you’d probably come here.” He opened the passenger door of his car and just waited.

Instead of running into the warm heat of the car, you ran into his arms. While you felt like you had no more tears to shed, your body just shook with silent sobs. After a while, he picked you up and put you in the car, quickly going over the driverseat so he could take you in his embrace again.

“I feel so stupid.” You sniffed. “We’re supposed to be mourning dad and I’m running off like a child.”

“Don’t beat yourself up.” He muttered into your hair. “Grief does something to our heads… everyone has to deal with it.” He pulled away to look at you. “I shouldn’t have argued with Celia.”

“No.” You shook your head. “No, I’m glad I know what she really thinks of me. Of us.”

He pushed a hair behind your ear and gave you a small smile. “You have to know that I would never hide something like that from you unless I thought it didn’t matter. Celia and I got drinks one time before I met you and now she likes to hold it over my head.” He sighed. “And don’t beat yourself up about what she said. You’re one of the hardest working, badass women that I know. You deserve everything that you’ve built.”

He kissed your forehead and you fell into silence again. Without any words, he knew that you believed him about Celia and that the whole thing was blown out of proportions by your sister’s need for attention. He just hoped that you and Celia could start over. As much as he despised her most of the time, he knew what it was like to lose a sister.

“Why don’t we head back to the house and try and dry off before the funeral?” He suggested softly. You just nodded, laying your head on his shoulder as he drove back to your childhood home.

It wasn’t the sunny day that you wanted it to be. Everyone stood with black umbrellas and somber faces and you did your best to keep it together. Josh held your hand the whole way through, his support not faltering for a single second. You knew this couldn’t be easy for him either and yet he was your rock through all of it.

The clouds blocked the sun for the rest of the day but you told yourself that it was okay. They were the cloud-kingdoms your father always talked about. The ones he wrote in those little books tucked away in the house. And you took comfort in the fact that you knew, now, that he was up there with them.

#josh lyman x reader #josh lyman #the west wing #west wing imagines #jed bartlet #bradley whitford #this is kinda a mess #oh well #joshua lemon lyman #angsty #sam seaborn

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wesimpforxiao · 3 years

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Say My Name and I’ll Be There: 3.2

Author’s Note: We gotta add some Bennett to this chapter because he deserves all the love! Totally have a soft spot for him when I rolled him around two months ago.

"Why are we at a winery?" You eyed the standalone building sitting near a body of water. It had been no more than a week since Xiao told you to keep quiet about your 'secrets' even though you weren't sure what they were.

"We'll be getting Diluc's help until Xiao comes back," answered Aether.

Right. Xiao's leaving. You scrunched your nose up in protest but didn't say anything. The yaksha had left the group for a couple days after your 'contract' was made, and the entire time Childe was practically chained to your side. How long would he be gone for, if Aether thought it was necessary to get another person on the team? You didn't want to know the answer.

And Xiao wasn't the only one temporarily leaving, either. Zhongli, the only other person you could supposedly trust, left once Xiao returned a few days ago. Something about trouble at the funeral parlor? Something told you that was a lie.

"Paimon thinks Diluc and Childe on a team would be a disaster," the mascot let out a nervous laugh. "Are you sure it's okay for them to meet each other?"

"Yeah, about that--Childe, can you keep your Fatui side in check?"

"Whatever do you mean, Traveler? I'm sure this Diluc fellow wouldn't be that upset with me. Besides, I don't mind wearing my status on my sleeve."

"Yeah, we know! That's the problem." Paimon crossed her arms and shook her head.

"You'll need to hide it from Diluc." Aether stopped walking and faced the Harbinger. "Can you do that?"

Childe was about to object the idea when you half-muttered under your breath. "I thought hiding things was your specialty?"

His mouth remained open for an extra second, and his eyes narrowed significantly at your comment. He took it as a challenge...or perhaps a type of threat?

Even Xiao was surprised at your sudden confrontation.

"Well?" Aether prompted without having heard you.

"Of course. Anything for a comrade," Childe cleared his throat and flashed his signature smile.

.............................................

"How long will you be gone?"

You somehow managed to catch Xiao alone while everyone was inside the winery. You had thought the two of you had gotten closer since you remembered your past, but it was like he was purposely pushing you away. His replies had only gotten shorter since then.

"I don't know. A few days if I'm lucky."

"Do you have to leave?" Your shoulders dropped in clear disappointment. "What's all the rush even about, anyway? Are you ever going to explain why I have to keep qui--"

"Lower your voice," the yaksha warned. He folded his arms across his chest and glanced around the deserted patio. "I told you, we cannot discuss this. Someone could be listening--"

"But WHO? The least you could do is tell me who!" You stood taller and squared off with the yaksha. He just sighed and turned his back to you.

"I'm leaving."

"Zhongli isn't here either," you continued, spewing the words out more desperately this time in an effort to keep him from leaving. "You said I couldn't trust anyone except you and him. What do you expect me to do if both of you are gone? And how do you expect me do deal with Childe and his stupid jokes? You're scaring me by keeping me in the dark like this."

Xiao hesitated, but walked towards you anyway. He stopped once he was close enough to whisper. "There is a possibility we are both in danger. That is all I can tell you; revealing more would risk losing our advantage to the enemy."

"But...who is the enemy?"

Xiao's gaze didn't reveal an answer, much to your dismay. "Do you remember what I told you back then?"

"Huh?"

"If you're in danger."

"Oh." 'Say my name. Adeptus Xiao. I will be here when you call.' "Yes."

"Good. I'll return soon." He disappeared before your eyes, leaving behind a gentle breeze that caressed your hair much like he did not too long ago.

.............................................

You returned to the group in a somber mood inside the winery. There, you were greeted by a man that couldn't have been more than six years older than you. He didn't appear to be in great spirits either.

"Good. While we're at it, why don't we see about getting the Knights of Favonius to join us?"

"We'll just need Bennett--" Aether defended.

"Relax, I was only joking. I need to check in on Angel's Share anyways. Shall we get going?" The man's eyes landed on you. "So you're the only one without a vision?"

"U-uh, unfortunately," you laughed nervously.

"I've been training her since she joined the team. Her sword skills aren't half bad." Child sauntered over to you and placed a hand on your shoulder. Now that you were without Xiao's protection, you tensed under his grip, feeling that it was somehow more threatening. But this was just his usual display of respect for his teammate.

"As long as we don't run into Fatui, you should be just fine," Diluc assured you once he noticed your uneasiness.

"I don't think we'll have that problem," Childe laughed, much to the annoyance of Paimon. She rolled her eyes and disappeared with a poof.

..............................................

You've never seen someone have so much bad luck in your entire life. From the time of recruiting Bennett on the team to the time the group left Mondstat, he had already found a way to get injured over five times. Your mouth hung agape at this last time, in which you all had walked past some pigeons that suddenly decided to peck at Bennett's head.

"Are you okay?" You swatted the pigeons away before they could peck an eye out.

"Ha, yeah," Bennett shyly rubbed the back of his head. "It's like I said earlier, all I have is bad luck!" Despite this, it didn't stop the boy from smiling ear to ear. "This is nothing, really."

"O-okay. If you say so." You walked along side him, while the rest of the team took the front.

"So you're from Liyue?" Bennett kicked a stone and nearly stumbled. He played it off so that it appeared he meant to walk backwards next to you.

"Yup. I live in Quince Village."

"Nice! I've been there a couple times for commissions. The rice fields are really pretty when the sun sets. The squirrels aren't that friendly, though."

"Does every animal attack you?"

"Not all of them, but I would say a decent chunk of the population has it out for me," he chuckled. "When I'm at the guild, my dads usually scare them off."

"Your dads?"

"Oh! Well, I was found as a baby and brought back to Mondstat. The older men in the guild raised me, so I call them my dads."

"I see." You thought back to your Granny, who was no doubt worrying over the fact that she hadn't heard from you the past couple months. "An old lady, my Granny, took me in when I was a toddler."

"Were you abandoned too?" Bennett asked almost too eagerly, with a hope to finally connect with someone.

"No. I was--well, I can't really talk about it. I shouldn't have said anything."

"O-oh, sorry about prying. I tend to drive people away once they know me, so I was afraid--"

"Don't worry, I'll tell you at some point. I just can't talk about it right now," you gave him a small smile for reassurance. He was practically beaming as he smiled back at you.

That's right, Childe recalled the day he first met you. That old lady was her caretaker. She may know something...

#genshin impact #xiao genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader #xiao fanfiction #xiao one shot

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” & tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me? you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Exhausted paper #final season #Tohru Honda

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vintagedolan · 3 years

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mixtape | track twelve

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

Indy wondered why people in her life seemed to fixate on sunshine, as if it somehow fixed things. When she and Charlie were small and the sun was out, her parents were ushering them outside to get some fresh air, telling them it was good for them. Her first day of high school, when she was nauseous in the passenger seat at the thought of a new place with a new class schedule, her dad had said ‘at least it’s warm today’. The day of Nicole’s funeral, between the sympathetic smiles and awkward glances, Indy had lost count of the amount of people who commented on the beautiful sunshine outside that her mother wasn’t there to see. It grated on Indiana’s nerves, and she found herself enjoying the rainy days more in the years after her mother’s death, when the clouds were heavy and wet, booming with thunder she could feel shaking her floor. She sat at her windows and watched it fall, watched the world have to shift to accommodate a change in the sky, change in a way that it never did for her when she needed it to.

The week before Bekah died, it rained every day.

Monday marked seven days without treatment, and the effects were starting to show. Bekah had lost more weight, which Indy wasn’t even sure was possible. She kept her blankets on her at all times, the Christmas and Halloween ones layers on top of each other.

She still shivered.

The rain fell outside the window, and Indy sat on the sill, thankful for the cold glass against her arm. It kept her in the moment, kept her mind in the room instead of in Los Angeles, wondering what was going through Grayson’s head that made him continue to ignore her calls. She didn’t have the energy to be pissed at him for leaving her abandoned - instead she was just worried, worried about the guilt she knew would overtake him when she finally was able to get ahold of him.

Indiana’s schedule was PRN - meaning they only called her into the hospital when she was needed. She couldn’t tell if they actually did need her and were too nice to say, or if they were fully staffed, but they didn’t call her. Patrick had put his foot down with her hours at Jet’s too, and said he’d keep her on payroll as long as he could so she kept her benefits, but that he wasn’t putting her on the schedule either.

So she put her skills to use for Bekah, and Bekah alone. Anything she needed, Indy knew where to get it on the floor. She funneled every ounce of energy into the girl in front of her, trying to take any of the burden off the Newcombs that she could. If Bekah needed ice chips, she was at the nurses station. In the supply closet to get fresh linens, the laundry to get clean hospital gowns. She helped her get changed, get showered as best she could - it was less mortifying for Bekah to have Indiana help her than her parents, who were nervous enough they would hurt her as it was.

When Bekah was awake, she was trying. Putting on her brightest smile, doing her best to perk up for her parents and Indiana. But when her parents would leave, which wasn’t often - only to go get fresh clothes, or grab dinner in the cafe - Bekah would deflate. She’d sigh and lean back against her pillows and try to catch her breath. They went home that night to eat a real dinner with promises to bring some back for Bekah, and as soon as they kissed her goodbye, she relaxed back and closed her eyes. Indiana watched her for a moment, and reached out to hold her hand.

“It’s okay Beks. They know you’re tired, you’re allowed to show it.”

“Says you,” she muttered. “Haven’t seen you sleep since I went off meds.”

Indy swallowed. “I sleep when you sleep.”

“Liar.”

“How do you feel?” She changed the subject.

“Like I’m dying.”

Indy choked, and Bekah laughed dryly. “C’mon, that was a good one. And don’t say it isn’t, cause you know I’m right.”

It took all of Indy’s strength not to try to coat it all in some toxic positivity, tell her it wasn’t that bad, that she would feel better, that she would get better - the things she’d been telling her all the years she’d known her.

They weren’t true, and she had to be okay with that.

“I really do think it’ll be this week,” Bekah said, picking at balls of lint on her blanket.

“Why do you think that?” Indy kept her tone as neutral as she could.

“I feel it. Feels… different. I want to go in my sleep, if I can. Think it’ll be easier for everyone that way. Is there a way to make that happen?”

Indy put on her hospital smile. “That’s usually how it goes babe, when you let someone go naturally. Your body gets tired, and you sleep, and then you go.”

She pondered on that for a moment, sat with it, and then she nodded, firm and confident.

“Okay. Good. That’ll be good.”

Indy hoped that one day she could have half the bravery of the girl sitting in front of her, with her thin arms and her purple head scarf, her small smile and stern gaze.

“Can we have milkshakes? And watch some of Grayson’s videos before my parents get back?”

Indy swallowed. “Of course. I’ll go get them, you rest.”

She was glad she could pull strings - the kitchen was usually closed to requests after dinner, but Daniel downstairs was always nice when she called. Sure enough, by the time she’d swiped through all the doors and made it to the kitchen, he had two vanilla milkshakes with extra whipped cream, and sprinkles on Bekah’s.

“Thanks D!”

“You’re welcome other D,” Daniel smiled. The hole in Indy’s chest rubbed raw, and she turned quickly before he could think he did something wrong. She breathed, timed her inhales with her steps as she traversed the halls.

It didn’t help, because when she walked into Bekah’s room she heard him.

Only this time, we’re getting sinus surgery

“Ooo, sprinkles!” Beks smiled and reached out a hand, waiting for Indy to pass her the milkshake.

She did, and she settled next to her on the bed with her own, leaning just far enough back so that Bekah couldn’t see her face.

The videos were always harder. He was still all over her social media, pictures and screenshots and people tagging the two of them on tea pages. He was still in her phone too - the outgoing calls, the photos in her camera roll. But the videos were the worst, because it was him. His mannerisms, his eyebrows that curved when he talked, his tongue that peeked through his smile when he laughed just hard enough.

She watched anyways, let the ache fester and make her feel something. She stared at his sunburnt nose, and listened to him talk about his once deviated septum that they didn’t actually fix - he still snored loud enough to wake her up some nights. She missed it.

Bekah laughed at every funny comment the boys made under their anesthesia in the video, and it was music to Indy’s ears, heartwarming enough for her to be able to stomach watching. By 15 minutes in, Bekah had abandoned her milkshake, the whipped cream dissolving down into the ice cream as her head lulled onto Indy’s shoulder and she fell asleep.

With a shaky hand, Indy checked her pulse.

Slow, but steady.

She turned off the TV.

In California, the fight didn’t start until Tuesday night. The house had been full of tension for almost a week, and the usual LA sunshine didn’t help to lighten the mood.

Grayson had become a recluse. He’d fallen back on the earlier method of locking his phone in a box in an attempt to save his sanity, which was even more fragile from the doom scrolling he’d found himself doing as people speculated every single detail of his life online. The black metal cube sat on a table in the living room, and he only saw it on the few occasions that he ventured out to the kitchen for food.

Even in his limited excursions, he felt the awkward energy radiating from his twin and Eden. They’d had their spats in the past, just like any couple, but there was something different about this one that had Grayson glad he was out of the room when Eden finally cleared her throat and looked at her boyfriend.

“Are we gonna talk about this?”

Ethan picked at a scab on his forearm - he’d been longboarding again as an excuse to get out of the house.

“Talk about what?”

“Talk about why we aren’t talking,” she huffed. “You’re mad at me.”

“Correct,” Ethan said.

“Tell me why then.”

He looked at her incredulously. “You have to ask?”

Eden swallowed down her anger, knowing it wouldn’t help anything. She waited. They sat in stalemate for a moment and she watched it boil up in Ethan before he sighed and turned in his chair towards her.

“Being hateful to me when you’re upset is one thing, because I signed up for that. But to my brother? When he’s doing pretty much as bad as I’ve ever seen him? Not okay. At all.”

“Ethan-”

“And I’m all for the tough love approach or whatever, but that was fucked up. He was just starting to do a little bit better and now look at him.”

“Better? You thought that was better?”

“He was eating at least, and still trying to work a little bit. Now, he’s barely able to do the podcast, much less anything else.”

“You all were already going to cut the main channel, that’s not because of this,” she argued.

“I’m talking everything else Eden. The businesses. Figuring out what the fuck we’re gonna do. He said the other day we could split time between here and Jersey, which really means here and New York if we only do the podcast.”

“And he didn’t think of that as an option before he broke up with Indiana? Makes sense.”

Ethan ignored her and kept going.

“At least he’s thinking about the future, which is better than before. I need him. But I need him, and you yelling at him set him back to square one.”

“If you thought he was even close to out of square one you’re blind.”

“Don’t act like you know my fucking twin better than I do,” Ethan snapped, and if it wasn’t for the protective nature in his tone, Eden would have lost it.

“Ethan.” She waited until he looked up at her, and she saw some of the anger leave his eyes when they met her. “He wasn’t getting better, because he was holding on. Fuck, he still is!”

“Telling him to let go isn’t going to make him let go! Have you met him? He’s the most stubborn fucking person on the face of this fucking earth! He already wants to go back, he’s not gonna let go!”

She could think of one person that could rival him for the title, but she kept it to herself.

“He’ll do it if he thinks he’s doing it for her,” Eden explained. “Don’t you see that? That’s why he did all of this. In his head, somehow, he thinks he’s doing what’s best for Indy. But he fucked her over, royally.”

“He knows that,” Ethan said.

“Okay, great! But he has to let go of her, because she won’t. Indy is an optimist if I’ve ever fucking met one, and she will always hope that he’s gonna come back, so he can’t do anything to feed into it. That’s torture, for both of them. And they both deserve better than that.”

Ethan couldn’t find a grip hold for an argument - one of the many reasons he hated arguing with Eden. So he sat in silence for a moment and accepted his defeat.

“You didn’t have to call him a moron,” he added.

“Anyone who let’s Indiana Cross slip through their fingers is a moron,” she muttered, shoulders relaxing as she realized the fight was over. “But yeah, that was probably a little harsh. I’ll apologize for that one.” She sighed, glad that everything was out on the table for the time being, smiling when Ethan patted his thigh once for her to sit on. She climbed up and nuzzled into his neck - she’d missed being so close to him the last few days. She soaked in the moment, running her fingers over the neck of his henley.

“Is it weird that I miss her? I mean, I know I haven’t known her very long, but she really felt like part of the family.”

“I miss her too,” Ethan sighed, pressing a kiss to Eden’s temple.

She pondered her apology to Grayson as she relaxed into his arms, but it was futile.

Grayson had been listening, standing in the hallway outside his door.

There were no tears; just an overwhelming numbness that had settled over him in the last few days. Eden’s words were the final nail in the coffin - he couldn’t reach out to Indy, though it got more and more tempting each day. He’d promised not to hurt her more than he already had, and he was going to stick to his word. Someone important had taught him that.

He retreated to his room and sat on the edge of the bed before he spoke.

“Hey dad.”

He always waited, just for a moment. Just in case. The silence was always loud, but it was deafening as he curled in on himself, staring down at the grains of wood in the floor.

“Dad I think I really fucked up this time,” he whispered. He willed the tears, but they didn’t come, though his eyes still burned. “I wish you were here. I wish you could have met her.”

As he sat, he remembered what his dad had said in those last few days, in the few hours that he was awake, when he fought off the pain and the fatigue to be there for his kids and his wife. I’ll always be there, you can always talk to me. Just say whatever you would if I was right there beside you, cause I will be.

So he did. He spoke as if he could feel the weight of his dad on the bed beside him, feel his arm around his shoulder.

Grayson sat on the edge of his bed and told Sean everything about the girl that he still loved. Her intelligence, her laugh, her smile, the way he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to love someone else. He lost track of how long he talked, run on sentences and gestures that only made it more obvious that his dad wasn’t there to tell him to slow down and take a breath before he talked himself into a pump from his inhaler. When he ran out of words, he did the only thing he knew to do when all else went wrong; turned his shower on as hot as he could stand it, sat down on the bench so the water ran over him, and thought of Indy.

The storm rolled into the city on Wednesday - unprecedented and angry, snarling the clouds in swirls of dark, heavy gray and dumping down over the skyscrapers of New York.

Indiana was watching the monitors. Her eyes jumped with each pulse of Bekah’s heart, which was beating faster than her usual. Her blood pressure was low, her breathing more irregular. Indy could see the textbook page in her head - actively dying. She’d learned the vital signs to look for, and how to fix them, what medicines to push.

But she wasn’t supposed to be making Bekah better, and that was the hardest part.

Thunder shook the room, and Bekah shivered. Mrs. Newcomb wrung her hands, and her husband ran a hand along her shoulders.

“She hasn’t woken up all day,” she murmured.

“She’s resting baby, it’s okay.”

Bekah’s monitors began to beep a bit faster. Her heart rate slowly rose - 82, then 85, then 90. Indy watched, her nerves prickling, eyes darting to the clipboard at the end of her bed, with DNR in bright red block letters - do not resuscitate. Bekah whimpered, her head turning into her pillow as her breathing got quicker, her heart working in overtime to try to keep her body afloat.

Mrs. Newcomb rushed to her daughter’s side, running a hand over her cheek as she began to cry.

“Bekah, sweetheart breathe, just breathe baby, don’t go yet, don’t go,” she pleaded, and Indy bit back her cries. Two nurses showed up in the doorway, waiting. There was nothing they could do but watch, and answer questions if they were asked.

Bekah’s father turned to the corner.

“Indiana, Indiana what’s happening to my baby?” He cried. It was enough to break Indy out of her trance, and she moved over to the bedside, resting a hand on Bekah’s leg.

“Her body is trying to decide what to do. It’s tired, and with her blood pressure going down, her heart is work harder to move her blood around. That’s why it’s faster,” she explained. “She’s not in pain right now, her medicine should still be working. It probably just feels a bit scary.”

Mr. Newcomb took her hand, and squeezed. Indy looked back to the monitors, unable to bear looking down at Bekah. She watched the blips on the monitor start to regulate again, sinus rhythm reappearing, allowing both of them to breathe easier. Bekah groaned a bit and settled into her covers, and a broken sob made its way out of Mrs. Newcomb’s throat.

“I need a minute,” she said, and then she was headed for the door with a hand over her mouth. It was the second time she was sick that day. Mr. Newcomb took her to the cafeteria to get a Sprite, and Indy took her usual spot, perched on the edge of Bekah’s bed. She took her hand, tensing a bit with how cold it was. She rubbed it, bringing it up to her lips to blow warmth into her palm as best she could.

Bekah stirred, and her eyes opened for the first time in many hours.

“Hey,” Indy said quietly, not wanting to startle her.

“What was all that noise?” Bekah’s voice was croaky, but she shook her head when Indy offered her a drink of water.

“Your monitors. They’re loud aren’t they?”

“Yeah. Annoying as hell,” she mumbled, then opened her eyes a bit wider, scanning the room for her mother.

“Language,” Indy teased.

“Why were they going off?”

It took all of Indy’s strength not to lie.

“Your heart rate picked up because your blood pressure went down. That’s something that happens…”

“Oh. It means it’s getting close isn’t it.”

Indy nodded and squeezed her hand. Bekah took a moment to process, and then she turned her head back to her friend.

“Is Grayson here yet?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Well, he better come soon if he wants to see me. Tell him to hurry, since I’m dying and shit.”

“Language,” Indy whispered it so her voice didn’t crack. Bekah played with the edge of her blanket.

“Am I supposed to be scared?”

“There’s no right or wrong way to be right now Beks. You just do what you need and feel how you feel, and we’ll be here the whole time, okay? We’re right here.”

“You need to not be here,” Bekah said, and Indy’s breath caught in her throat.

“Oh.”

“You need sleep, and a shower. I won’t die while you’re gone if I can help it. Promise.” She wrapped her pinky around Indy’s as best she could.

Before she could refuse, the Newcombs appeared back through the door, delighted to see their daughter awake. She sat up a bit straighter in bed and put on her best smile, Indy’s heart tightening at the sight.

“Go,” Bekah whispered through her smile. She squeezed her hand one more time, and then let go, walking up to Mrs. Newcomb.

“I’m gonna go get freshened up and grab some clean clothes, but will you text me if anything changes? I live right down the street, so I can be back here really quick,” she explained, trying to ignore the growing look of pity in her eyes.

“Of course dear. But you go home for the night, we’ll be alright. I’ll call you if anything changes, you need your rest. You’ve been here so long, have a night of normalcy at home and come back fresh tomorrow, okay?”

Indy nodded - it was all she could do. She blew Bekah a kiss and walked out the door, pausing when she noticed something had changed.

A small blue heart had been placed by her room number - a signal that made Indy’s heart sink. Bekah was officially dying, and it was there for every nurse and visitor on the unit to see, to signify they needed to respect privacy and be quiet when they were close by.

It made no sense, for that to be her breaking point. She’d known. She’d seen it, in her vitals and her demeanor and the fact that just their conversation was enough to have her ready to sleep for another 8 hours.

But that little blue heart was her undoing, and she clutched her chest for the entire walk out of the hospital, down the stairs and out into the pouring rain. The thought of her empty apartment, with no Grayson and no Charlie and no Devin was too much - instead, she found herself running down the sidewalk past the lobby to the parking garage, shoes sloshing with water by the time she made it under the concrete.

The valet didn’t ask questions when she passed over her key, shivering as she waited for him to bring her car out. As soon as she climbed in she hit the gas, ready to drive somewhere, anywhere, that wasn’t her home. The road was blurry despite the rapid back and forth of her windshield wipers, but she trudged on, just coherent enough to keep her tires between the white lines as she fled the city. The river was swollen when she drove over the bridge into Jersey, and she let herself zone out, let her mind take her wherever it wanted to go.

She knew where she would end up.

The crunch of gravel was familiar under her tires when she turned off the winding road. It was a comforting sound, though it was muffled by the rain, and it wasn’t until she was close enough to the white house to see that the kitchen light was on that she realized what she was doing.

She put the car in park, ready to shift it to reverse until a small figure appeared on the front porch, waving her inside.

Her earlier words rang in her ears. My door is always open.

She hoped it was true as she flung her car door open and bolted for the protection of the porch.

Lisa was waiting for her, standing in her pajamas with worry written all over her face.

“Indiana? Sweetheart, are you okay?”

All Indy could do was sob. She hated it, and the voice in her head berated her over and over, reminded her she had no place there anymore, that she was putting Lisa in a terrible position. But the feeling of a mother’s arms around her wasn’t something she could fight against, and she crumpled into her and let herself be held.

“Shhh. Shhh, you’re okay,” she hummed, running a hand over Indy’s blonde hair that was soaking wet. “Let’s get you inside and get warmed up.”

Indy let herself be led in, shoulders relaxing a bit at the familiarity of where she was until she spotted Grayson’s work boots in the corner and recoiled back. Lisa sat her down in a chair in the kitchen and squatted down until they were eye level.

“Are you hurt?”

Indy shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself.

“Is everything okay?” Her tone gave away that she already knew the answer, but Indy shook her head again anyways. Lisa patted her leg and sighed quietly, reaching up to brush some of her hair back.

“Does Grayson know you’re here?”

The squeak that escaped Indy’s lips was the only warning before she let out a sob so loud that Gizmo yelled in shock.

“I’m s-s-s-orry,” she choked, crumpling with her face in her hands.

“No, no no shhh, it’s okay sweetheart. It’s alright, you’re okay.” Lisa pulled her to her as best she could, rocking just barely as she held her.

“No, I shouldn’t have come, I don’t want to make things difficult for you with - him.” Indy couldn’t get herself to say his name and Lisa just shook her head.

“Babe I told you that I would be here for you no matter what, and I meant it, okay? I won’t tell him you’re here unless I need to. You can stay as long as you need, you hear me?” She used her thumbs to wipe at Indy’s tears, frowning at the dark circles she found.

“Sweetheart, when was the last time you got a good night’s sleep?”

Indy’s silence was enough.

“Well, it’s late, and I think sleep is the first thing you need. We can talk tomorrow, but right now, you go up and climb into bed okay? They’re all made up, you can sleep wherever you’d like. Do you need anything, or do you remember where everything is.”

“I remember,” Indy whispered, taking in a shaky breath. “Thank you Li.”

“Of course. You’re a part of this family, always. Now, get some rest. You know where I am if you need me.”

She kissed her forehead and disappeared up the stairs. Indy wasn’t sure how long it took to get herself together and muster the energy to climb those same stairs, take a left into the room she’d been in so many times before.

It still smelled a bit like him, and she couldn’t help but to take a few deep breaths, closing her eyes and pretending he was right there, sprawled out in bed with the blanket held up for her like the first time she’d slept over. It was the same blanket when she opened her eyes again, and the thought of climbing into it without him waiting for her made her sick to her stomach. She couldn’t look at the bed any longer, so she turned to the closet, sighing when she saw all the warm clothes that were far too much fabric for LA, even in the winter. It was almost unconscious, the way she found herself in front of his shirts, running her fingers over the various fabric until she landed on a familiar flannel. Checkered, with blue, white and black squares. Thick and warm, he’d worn it once when they went out to check on the progress of the tiny homes, and she’d woven her arms underneath it when she reached around him to hold on as he drove them through the trees.

Before she could stop herself, she snatched it off the hanger and pushed her arms through the sleeves, eyes prickling at the realization that she felt close to him for the first time in weeks, yet he was still so far away. She retreated back to the bedroom, grabbing one of the pillows and carrying it downstairs, all the way to the couch in the living room. The blankets were still in the basket in the corner, and she grabbed her favorite one before she curled up under it on the cold leather, pulling the flannel fabric up around her chin and closing her eyes.

In the kitchen, Gizmo turned on her perch and cocked her head.

“Dee,” she said, but Indiana was already asleep.

It was the best sleep she had in weeks - the peace of knowing that she wasn’t truly alone enough for her body to force her to catch up. Lisa was surprised to see her still curled up on the couch at 9:30 the next morning when she got ready for work as the rain continued outside. She watched her sleep for a few moments, heart tight at the way her eyebrows were still furrowed and her face buried in the collar of a shirt she was sure was her son’s.

She didn’t know the details, but she knew Grayson well enough to put together the pieces. But she also knew he wouldn’t let Indiana suffer this much if he truly knew how she was doing. It had to be bad if Indiana even considered coming out to the house, and it gave Lisa a level of mom anxiety she hadn’t had since the boys had picked up longboarding again. She wondered how he’d let it go on so long in the first place, and after a moment of debating, she scribbled down a note for Indy, went out to her car as quietly as she could, and called her son.

His phone sent her straight to voicemail. She tried again. Voicemail. With the third dial tone she couldn’t help the pit that grew in her stomach, an automatic mom reflex when your child is unreachable.

Instead, she called Ethan. It rang four times and then she heard a muffled groan and rustling before his voice came through the line.

“Ma, it’s 6:30 in the morning,” he grumbled, voice raspy and dry. “You okay?”

“Why isn’t your brother answering his phone? Are you two okay?”

Ethan sighed, annoyed. “He’s fine Mom, he’s just doing a detox from his phone. People were being shitty. He’s asleep down the hall, not dead in a ditch somewhere,” Ethan chuckled. Lisa wasn’t amused.

“Well, wake him up and un-detox him. He needs to call Indiana. Now.”

Ethan sat up in bed.

“Indy? Why, what’s wrong?”

“That’s for him to figure out. All I know is, she’s not doing well and he needs to call her. Now.”

“What happened?”

“Just make sure he calls her, alright? I’ve gotta get to work, I love you.”

“Alright, love you too.”

As soon as he hung up, he was on his feet, rushing down the hallway and throwing Grayson’s door open. He ran to the edge of his bed, shaking his shoulder until he groaned and opened his eyes.

“The fuck do you want,” he grumbled.

“You need to call Indiana, I just got off the phone with Ma. Something’s wrong.”

Grayson felt sick.

“What happened? Is she safe, is she okay?”

“I don’t know, you just need to call her.”

“You don’t know? You don’t know? The fuck do you mean you don’t know Ethan?” Grayson was yelling, but he was on his feet as he spoke, headed down the hallway in search of the lock box. He rummaged through the kitchen drawer until he found the key, hands so shaky it took three tries to unlock the metal contraption.

His phone was dead when he pulled it out, and it took all his willpower to keep from chucking it at the glass doors.

“Yours, give me yours.”

Ethan was a step ahead of him, already having Indiana’s contact pulled up. Grayson snatched it and hit the call button, heart pounding in his ears as he waited for her to answer.

Indy woke up to the buzzing of her phone against her arm where she’d tucked it the night before. Her eyes flew open - it must be Mrs. Newcomb, calling to tell her that Bekah had gotten worse. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes until she could read the name on her screen.

Ethan.

Her heart sank. She’d thought to call him more times than she wanted to admit, but she figured calling your ex's twin when said ex didn’t want to talk to you was crossing some moral line. Though as she sat on his mother’s couch, she figured it was time to get over the morals and do what she needed to do.

She swiped to answer.

“Dee? Are you okay? Are you safe?”

She couldn’t breathe. Her mouth opened and closed again as she tried to find something to say to the only person she’d wanted to talk to in almost three weeks. She hadn’t had time to prep herself, to give her heart a warning.

“Baby talk to me, tell me you’re okay,” he pleaded, and the pain in his voice was enough to snap her out of it.

“Grayson?” was all she could say.

“Yeah, it’s me. What’s wrong, are you hurt?”

“No, no I’m okay, I’m fine.”

Grayson took a breath for the first time since she picked up the phone. Suddenly, he wasn’t sure what to say, the panic dissipating and leaving his brain blank. Luckily, she spoke.

“I’ve been trying to call you,” she said.

“I know. Indiana I’m sor-”

“It’s Beks.”

His heart skipped a beat, and the silence rang in his ears as he clutched onto the back of the couch. Ethan, who had been eavesdropping from the kitchen, moved closer. Grayson waited for her to speak, to say it so he didn’t have to ask.

“Is she-”

“No.” Indy’s voice broke. “But…”

“Oh god. Fuck. Fuck Indy.” His knees wobbled beneath him.

“She isn’t in any pain, we’ve been keeping her comfortable. But it’s probably gonna be in the next few days,” she whispered between sniffles, her voice squeaky and small as she fought to get the words out.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to have to tell you over the phone but... “ she trailed off. “She asked when you were coming to see her, and I didn’t know what to say.”

The tears were burning as they slid down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes closed, fighting the imagery of Bekah in her hospital bed, calling out for him.

“Indy-”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what to say so I just said you’d be there soon. If you can’t come she probably won’t remember, but I just wanted you to know, in case you wanted to be here. To see her, before…”

“I’m coming. I’ll be right there okay? I’m going to the airport now, I’ll be right there.”

Indy was silent for a moment, her eyes flickering to the rain outside.

“Fly safe. It’s storming here.”

“I will. I’ll see you soon okay? Just hold on, I’ll be there.”

“Okay.”

That sat in silence for a moment until Indiana finally hung up.

“I’m going with you,” Ethan said. He didn’t need context - all he knew is his brother needed him. Grayson nodded once, passed him his phone and headed straight for his room. He packed blindly, throwing things into his suitcase without bothering to fold them, just desperate to get on the road to the airport and get back to New York. Ethan was two steps behind him when he finally made it to the door, his phone pressed to his ear as he tried to explain the situation as best he could to a very worried Eden. Grayson loaded the bags as Ethan climbed into the driver’s seat, leaving the charger open for Grayson’s still dead phone. Ethan practically peeled out of the driveway towards LAX, the cab filled with silence apart from the hum of the engine and the quiet sniffles from Gray when his phone turned back on and he saw all the missed texts and calls from Indiana who had been trying so desperately to reach him. The guilt made him queasy, and Ethan’s driving didn’t help as he hopped lanes and sped on, praying no cops were on the road.

Grayson’s knee bounced impatiently as they waited in the line for parking, paying an astronomical amount seeing that they didn’t know when they would be back. Then they were running, dragging their bags behind them on the asphalt and beelining for the front desk. The attendants eyes went wide when they requested the next flight to New York at the exact same time. It wasn’t taking off for three more hours, much to their dismay, but they accepted it and headed towards security with their heads low and phones in hand.

The next flight doesn’t leave until around 10 but we’ll be on it. I’m sorry.

He watched the bubbles appear and disappear three times over, and then her response came.

nothing to be sorry for. I’m back at the hospital with her, she’s resting. I’ll keep you updated. the storm is still really bad here, please be careful

He wished he could reach out and hold her hand, ease her anxiety about his flight. He couldn’t imagine the emotion of that on top of everything else, so he said all he could think to.

I’ll be safe, and I’ll be there soon.

He typed I love you and deleted it before he sent it.

And then, it was a waiting game. The boys kept their hoods up and their heads down in hopes they wouldn’t be recognized. It seemed the universe was in their favor for the time being, no one bothering them while they waited, but it took a turn when their flight was delayed for weather not once, but twice, pushing their departure time to 2pm instead. He apologized again, agonizing over the thought of Indy sitting in the hospital by herself, but her response was the same.

she’s still resting, it’s okay. just be safe.

“We’re doing everything we can,” Ethan tried to reassure him, but he knew it was futile.

“I should have been there. I should have never left her in the first place Ethan, I’m an idiot.”

“You couldn’t have known this was going to happen. You told me she was getting better.”

He thought his brother was still talking about Bekah, and the queasiness returned.

“She was.”

They sat in silence as the hours crawled by. Ethan bought them lunch from a vegan salad shop down the terminal, even got his brother one of the protein coffee drinks he liked. Grayson picked at the lettuce and left it abandoned for his twin to finish. His only solace was his headphones that he kept pressed far into his ears with a constant stream of Cudi to keep him sane. After what felt like an eternity, they called for boarding. He texted her again to let her know he was on his way, and in a cruel play of the universe or whatever it was, Teleport 2 Me Jamie began to play.

His eyes were blurry as he followed Ethan to their seats, climbing in by the window and readjusting his hood so it folded around his face as much as it could, hiding. Ethan leaned forward and acted like he was reading the SkyMagazine he found in the back of his seat, shielding his brother from view as best he could.

They’d been on a flight like this before. January of 2019 - it had been raining that day too, but they had both been crying that day. So he stayed strong for his brother as best he could, got him a gingerale when the flight attendant passed by, and left Grayson alone.

Indy wished someone would talk to her. She wished Bekah would wake up again - it had been hours of silence apart from the beeps of her monitor and the footsteps of the nurses outside the door. It was never truly silent in a hospital after all. But she was glad that she slept despite the loneliness. She hoped it would mean that she had energy for when Grayson made it to the hospital.

Grayson.

Her brain didn’t have the space to process that he would be there in the next six hours. His text that said he had boarded barely even registered in her mind, but her body was aware. Her anxiety picked up ten fold, her leg bouncing until it cramped, her lungs tight and fingernails bit down to the nail beds. The rain was relentless, as if the city were drowning already and it decided to add more for the fun of it, to watch the humans run around like ants in their multicolored raincoats. The universe was sick that way.

Mr. Newcomb returned from the nurses station where he’d insisted on dropping off some cookies he’d bought at the store. He was quiet as he came into the room, eyes on his daughter until he finally peeled them away to look at Indy.

“Do you think she’ll be asleep a little while longer? We were hoping to take some of her clothes home and wash them, so she has her choice from all her favorites for the next few days.”

“I think so. My… friend is coming later. Her other buddy, from the program. We’ll keep her company if you guys need to eat and get some sleep for a few hours. I can text you if anything changes.”

“I’ll see if I can convince Martina to get some shut eye I will,” he laughed, giving Indy a grateful smile and taking one more glance at his girl before he gathered her laundry and left. It only hit Indiana when he stepped out that she had never known Martina’s name until then. Bekah’s father was named Tarin, she knew that much. But she’d never even gotten to a first name basis with Martina. In all the years they’d known each other, and all the hours in hospital rooms and tears shared, she’d never been anything but Bekah’s mom to Indy. It wasn’t uncommon for Indiana to keep mom’s at an arm’s length from her. A protective mechanism she’d never consciously implemented, but it prevailed nonetheless.

She wondered if Bekah would have wanted to be a mom someday. When she was 13 she’d insisted that men were trash and that she’d never get married even if she made it through all her cancer, but as she’d gotten a bit older she loved to talk about all her celebrity crushes. Indy looked in her side drawer and smiled when she found the little picture of Harry Styles she’d given her during her last round of treatment - she’d taken it with her to every room since.

Indy paced the room, her anxiety to high to allow her to sit. She thought of Grayson on a plane somewhere, the metal tube rocking in the sky, cutting through the clouds. When she would get to the window she’d look up, hoping to see the lights from the wing of a plane somewhere, hoping it was his and that it was coming down safely.

She paced for two more hours before her phone buzzed.

Landed. I should be there in about 40. She still asleep?

Indy took in her first deep breath in hours.

yeah, she’s still out. I’ll meet you in the ocean hallway so you don’t have to buzz in, just text me when you’re close.

Will do.

Ma is picking us up so as soon as we get out we’ll head straight there

Ethan is with me but he’s just gonna go home with her for now

sounds good

She didn’t have much to say, her stomach fluttering against her will. Her emotions were too unbalanced for her to even know what was happening. Excitement, and fear and grief and anxiety and anger and confusion, all at once somehow. She wrapped her arms around herself to try to hold it together and went back to pacing.

Grayson was soaked by the time he made it into Lisa’s car, scurrying into the backseat and barking out directions harsher than he meant to.

“I already have it in the GPS. Calm down,” Lisa said, giving Ethan a side eye in the passenger seat.

“Sorry,” Grayson muttered, ringing his hands.

“S’alright babe,” Lisa sighed, reaching an arm back to pat his leg where she could reach. They drove in silence, listening to the rain smack against the roof and the windshield until Ethan spoke up.

“Did Indy call you? Is that how you knew something was wrong?” He asked Lisa. He hadn’t said anything, but he was worried too.

Lisa debated it for a moment, and then she sighed.

“She was upset, and she needed to get in touch with Grayson,” was all she said. “The rest of it, she can tell you.”

Gray didn’t have the energy to be annoyed. Every ounce he had was involved in the visuals flipping through his mind like a viewfinder; Indy in the ocean hallway, Bekah and her halloween blanket, the tiny homes, Indy’s tears in the airport. He hadn’t imagined that the next time he saw her would be like this. He wanted it to be different. Better. He wanted everything to be better.

When they finally made it to the hospital, Lisa pulled to the curb and turned to her youngest son with a serious look.

“You take care of her, but you take care of you too, okay? I love you.”

Grayson’s nose burned and he nodded once before he ducked out into the rain.

Indy stopped walking, and breathing, when her phone buzzed again.

Here. Omw up

She liked the message, fixed Bekah’s blankets and headed out into the hallway and through the doors. The smiles of the marine life were haunting as she waited for any sign that he was close.

Her head whipped up when she heard the familiar clammer of the far doors being pushed open.

He was wearing his yellow Cudi hoodie, but it was the wrong color. The fabric was darker than she remembered, darker than the picture she had of him in it, the one she’d taken in Jet’s once. It didn’t process that it was because it was wet until he was halfway down the hall. His hair was a bit longer than it had been, without Lisa there to trim it up. And his beard was full and scruffy and dark, hiding away his jaw line. She could still tell that his teeth were clenched though, his nerves palpable as he got closer and closer to her.

His shoe squeaked when he stopped in front of her. Neither of them breathed for a moment. They just stared at each other. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets to keep himself from hugging her, from crossing a boundary that he wished he’d never set.

“Hi,” he said.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

“Hey. How was your flight?”

“Long, but not too bumpy.”

Another painful beat of silence.

“How is she?”

“She’s still asleep, but we can wake her up. Meds are coming soon, just stuff to keep her comfortable. Her vitals are still okay, she’s just a bit groggy. But she’s excited to see you.” Indy offered him a small smile, and it had his knees ready to give out beneath him.

“And you? Are you okay?” He asked.

Indy’s smile faded, and she looked at the jellyfish.

“That doesn’t matter right now. C’mon, let’s go see her.”

Indy used her badge to swipe into the door, but Grayson’s throat was too tight to ask her about it. Instead he just followed her down the familiar hallway, trying to avoid the looks of pity from the nurses who recognized him.

Indy caught his wrist before he walked into the room.

“I didn’t… she doesn’t know about… us. I didn’t want to upset her, and it never really came up. I’m sorry,” she whispered. She sounded ashamed, but all Grayson could focus on was the feeling of her hand on his skin again, even if it was just a few fingers.

“Okay. That’s okay.”

“Okay.”

Indy walked into the room, the most hesitant that Grayson had ever seen her.

Beks looked cold. Even cuddled under her blankets she looked like she was freezing, and Grayson had trouble breathing. Indy went to the side of her bed, ran her thumb across her cheek and over to her shoulder where she squeezed gently.

“Beks, hey. Bekah,” she used her most gentle voice until the youngster stirred. “Someone’s here to see you.”

Grayson pulled it together in the last moment before Bekah opened her eyes.

“Earrings,” she sighed, a small smile on her lips. It was the most expression Indy had seen all day. “You made it.”

“Of course I did sweet girl,” he chuckled to hide his pain, moving beside Indy and crouching down so Bekah could see him easier. “Sorry it took me so long.”

“S’okay. We all know you’re slow,” she teased. “Hey, no tears. No crying in Bekah’s room.”

He hadn’t even realized he was until she said it, and he used his hoodie to wipe his eyes.

“Sorry Beks. Just missed you is all.”

“Yeah, well we missed you too. Did you convince my parents to go home?”

“Yeah,” Indy answered. “They’re getting some rest and bringing you some clean clothes.”

“Mmm, good. I think that black hoodie is a good one to die in,” she said, body shaking just barely with a laugh that turned into a cough.

“Pardon the death jokes, you’ll get used to them,” Bekah smiled at Grayson and the shock on his face once her throat cleared enough.

He thought of Sean, how he had pretended everything was fine until the very end, and he smiled.

“Don’t you think a black death hoodie is a little on the nose?” He said, and Bekah laughed. It sounded the most like her real one since she’d been off her treatment, and it warmed Indy’s soul.

“Fair point. Maybe I should go with blue. You think someone will let me into heaven if I’m in blue or will I just blend in with the sky?”

“I don’t think anyone has to let you in,” Indy said with a laugh, crouching down next to Grayson. Their knees bumped together. “Pretty sure you just end up there.”

“I hope so. There’s no one there to find me anyways.” The playful edge was gone from her voice, and Grayson frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m the first one. I mean, I guess my grandma is up there but I never knew her. Everybody always talks about how their family will be there, when they go.” She paused, taking a few deep breaths to get her energy back. She hadn’t talked so much in days, and her heart rate was rising from the exertion of it. The pair waited patiently, giving her the time she needed to finish her thought.

“I don’t have anyone to die for, anybody waiting on me. I gotta find my way in there alone.”

The innocence of it was enough to rip Indy’s heart in half, and she couldn’t find the comforting words that she wanted to give. But Grayson cleared his throat.

“You won’t be alone. I know of at least two people who will be right there waiting for you.”

She perked up a bit, eyes opening wider from where they’d started to close. “Really?”

“Yeah. My dad. He looks kinda like me, but shorter, with a better beard. His name is Sean.”

Bekah smiled. “Whose the other one?”

“A tall blonde lady named Nicole. Indy’s mom. Looks just like her, you won’t be able to miss her. They’ll help you, and keep you safe.” The sincerity in his voice was enough for Indy to realize he desperately wanted it to be true. She turned her head to hide her tears, clinging onto the bed rail to keep herself steady.

“That sounds nice,” Bekah breathed, her eyes slowly closing. “You all want me to tell them anything, when I get there?”

It was Grayson’s turn to lose his voice.

“No babe. We can tell them when we get up there.” Indy answered after a moment too long.

“That better not be for a long time. I gotta have some entertainment. Watch you all grow up and get married and have kids. You better name one after me too,” she sighed, her voice getting quieter as her heart sped up.

“You bet,” Grayson said, leaning forward to kiss her forehead as her breathing slowed and evened out again. It was slower than it should be, and Grayson realized his own breathing was fast… too fast. He brought a hand to his chest, then his other to cover his mouth and keep himself quiet.

“Shh, shhh hey, you’re okay, here, c’mon, you’re okay.” Indy’s voice was in his ear, her arms under his to try and guide him up to his feet, then out to the hallway. She held his arm and pulled him over into a supply closet that she swiped into, letting the door shut behind them.

“Breathe Grayson. It’s okay, just breathe.”

He fell to pieces in her arms, his back curled painfully so he could bury his face in the crook of her neck and sob. They were ugly sounds, wet and snotty and raw and she didn’t care. She just held him together as best she could with her small hands, let him relax into her and get it out of his system. His shoulders stilled eventually, but his arms stayed locked around her like a vice.

Neither of them moved until the motion sensor light clicked off, covering them in darkness.

They didn’t speak. They untangled themselves and let the light turn back on before they headed back into the hallway as if nothing had happened, back into Bekahs room. Her heart rate was perpetually high now, fighting to keep the blood pumping.

Another sign that the end was coming soon.

Indiana and Grayson sat down on the couch beside each other, just close enough for their shoulders to graze occasionally when they shifted. Indy watched the monitors and Grayson watched her, reading her expressions as best he could over what felt like an eternity. He looked at all the things he’d missed - the freckle by her ear, and the baby hairs that sat by her temple and never seemed to grow.

It could have been minutes, or hours. No one was sure. But eventually Indy’s posture slumped slightly, and with a final sigh she leaned over to the left, her head resting on Grayson’s shoulder.

He stopped breathing, only allowing himself shallow inhales that left his torso perfectly still so she could rest. He didn’t know how to feel, and against his will his eyes prickled at the realization that despite the fucked up situation they were in, she was there, leaned against him. Beside him. Something he wasn’t sure he was ever going to get ever again. The way she shifted and mumbled in her sleep let him know she wasn’t comfortable, but he let himself be selfish for a few minutes and soothed her back down so she stayed, relished in the weight of her on him and resisting the urge to wrap his arm around her shoulders.

He moved as carefully as he ever had to press a tiny kiss to her hair.

She sighed and settled down further in her seat, moving her head onto the back of the couch and freeing him.

The angle of her neck looked painful, and he scanned the room, noticing that they’d brought in two recliners, presumably for her parents. He stood up carefully and dragged the chairs away from the wall, lining them up like he had in his dad’s room. He hunted down a few extra pillows from the nurses, blankets too, and brought them in, making little makeshift beds for the two of them.

He felt guilt waking Indy up, but he didn’t want to pick her up without permission. Instead, he shook her shoulder gently until she stirred, panicking for a moment until she realized everything was okay. Her heart fluttered at the realization that Grayson was still there.

“Sleep over here, it’ll save your neck.” He nodded towards the chair and she stood up slowly, groggily moving over into one of them. She sighed as she settled in, exhaustion taking over. Grayson liked to think that she felt peaceful enough, safe enough to sleep because he was there, but he didn’t let himself believe it. So he simply moved her blanket up over her torso before he climbed into his own chair that faced the other way so they could see each other.

He watched her sleep for a moment, and then her hand moved just far enough down the arm rest. She wiggled her fingers until he got the message, slipping his hand into hers before he too fell asleep.

When they awoke the next morning, their hands were still intertwined, and Bekah’s parents were coming in the doorway. Indy woke up first, sitting up straight and squeezing Grayson’s hand.

“Grayson. Gray, hey, wake up.”

He grumbled until he was able to open his eyes, wiping his mouth with his hoodie sleeve as he came to and realized where he was. He was quick to stand, to introduce himself to Bekah’s parents with firm handshakes. His hair was a mess, and Indy bit her fingernails to keep from reaching out to smooth it out.

The day went by, measured by the heart rate monitor beeps that got quicker and quicker, and the rattling of Bekah’s breath as the fluid settled in her lungs. Martina and Indy changed her into her blue hoodie, and fixed her favorite scarf - one with tiny blue lightning bolts - over her head.

Indy and Gray didn’t have the energy or stamina to try to figure out where they stood, so they chose together, for the time being. She kept her arm wrapped around his, the way she used to when he walked her down the street. He traced over her fingers where she held onto him, chewing her lip while she watched her vitals grow worse and worse, all the red flags she would be trying to fix if that was the goal. Around 3pm, the nurse came into the room. The way Indy tensed was enough for Grayson to know something was happening.

“We’re gonna give her a bit more sedation to keep her comfortable. With the current levels of her vitals, it might slow her down enough to let her pass peacefully. There are no guarantees, but it is possible.”

Martina began to cry into her husband’s shoulder.

“So we should say our goodbyes then?” Tarin asked through a tight throat. The nurse nodded.

“We’ll administer it and then give you guys some privacy.”

“She won’t be in any pain, right?”

“No sir. It’ll just be like falling asleep.”

Indy watched as she set up her IV and stepped out of the room.

Grayson and Indy followed her out quietly, giving Bekah and her parents the moment that they needed. Indy’s breath was shaky, and she held tighter to Grayson as they waited in the hallway. He looked up towards the light in an attempt to stop the tears, and a few moments later, he felt a tap on his shoulder.

It was Martina, her eyes red and cheeks blotchy.

“You all are family. She would want you here with her.”

Grayson’s feet wouldn’t move until Indy guided him back into the room.

Bekah’s parents stayed on either side of her bed and held her hands while Indy and Grayson stood at the foot of her bed and watched her take her last breath.

Indy didn’t cry. She stood watch, only moving when the nurses came in to confirm time of death. She went and turned the monitors off, cutting the monotonous tone out abruptly as they removed Bekah’s IV. Grayson’s quiet sniffled and muffled sobs were almost enough to tip her over the edge, but she held it together. She hugged Martina, then Tarin, and then retreated into Grayson’s side yet again.

There wasn’t a signal, or anyone that told them it was time to go. But they found themselves outside in the hallway eventually, and they walked arm and arm. They signed out at the desk for the last time and walked out the doors of the pediatric oncology ward, through the ocean hallway and down the stairs.

The rain had stopped.

They walked the streets in silence, holding onto each other tightly as people passed them on the sidewalk, completely unaware of what had just happened to them. The world continued to turn, the city continued to bustle, and they continued to walk, one foot in front of the other until they made it to the elevator of her building.

Indy watched the numbers go by as it climbed. She didn’t say a word when they got to her floor, or through her door or over to her couch. Grayson sat down beside her and took his shoes off. She stared over his shoulder out the windows, an overwhelming numbness settling over her entirety.

“Indy, why don’t you take your shoes off,” Grayson whispered.

She didn’t look at him.

“Indy?”

He waited. The blues in her eyes were dark, and his heart sank. He knelt down and untied her shoes, sliding them off her feet gently. He took her socks off too - she hated sleeping in socks.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe, it’s okay,” he said, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. She swallowed hard, and that was enough for Grayson to justify picking her up and carrying her into her room. He sat her down and pulled her covers back before he got her into bed.

Once she was settled he stood up, waiting for just a moment before he spoke.

“I’ll be on the couch if you need me okay? I’ll be right here.”

Indy blinked hard, and then she shook her head.

Grayson went to his knees beside her in an instant, ready to do whatever she needed.

“Stay.”

That was all he needed. He circled around the bed and climbed in behind her, coiling his arm around her torso and crushing her back against him, pressing her into him everywhere he could. He willed himself to shield her, from the pain and the reality of what had just happened. He pressed a kiss to her hair and closed his eyes and he held his girl until morning.

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