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#comic book bible stories
exodus4-12 · 4 months
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𝑃𝑢𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐺𝑜𝑑𝑠...
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balu8 · 22 days
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 Giant-Size Kung Fu Bible Stories #1: Secret Crisis on Ultimate Earth
by Bruce Timm
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bl00dw1tch · 1 year
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We need to start treating christian myths like Actual Myths we NEEEEEED TO START TREATING THE BIBLE LIKE THE COLLECTION OF MYTHS AND MORAL SHORT STORIES THAT IT IS!!!!
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themasthead · 1 month
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The Prophet of Starfall: Episode 96
John Paul Lincoln slipped then caught himself as he hurried down the stairs three at a time. He exploded out of the hospital door and ran into the parking lot. Suffering from a mild panic attack, when the sun and fresh air hit his face he began to calm down. Back in Connor Floyd’s hospital room, when he wished for someone to throw out Pinstripe and his men, Lincoln had felt a rush of power like…
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theunveilingpodcast · 7 months
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foldingfittedsheets · 4 months
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One of my earlier jobs in life was at a little pizza place. I worked there when it was first starting up. It’s the only job I’ve ever been fired from and it was because a new manager came in and cleaned house. Because my state requires a reason to be fired he said I used too much pepperoni. So now on job applications I get to write that I was fired for “excessive use of pepperoni.” Never fails to get a laugh.
Anyway! For this story to make sense I’ve first got to set the stage. This pizza place started out as the Wild West of management but one of the original investors was super committed to work programs through the prison. We hired a ton of ex convicts and they were all, to a one, super hyped on Christianity. Like born again for the sole purpose of lauding Christ with their every breath.
I hadn’t been working there long but I’d definitely noticed the Jesus bug had gone around, and as I’ve never been religious at all I tried to steer clear of the topic for my own safety.
The day our story takes place, I was folding boxes. Anyone whose ever worked pizza can attest, there’s so much box folding. It’s something that happens at every lull, the pizza machine demands box folding on a grand and epic scale.
On my right folding his stack of boxes was a guy wider than he was tall, made of pure muscle, Corey. He was newer on staff, and due to a stutter he didn’t talk much. All I knew about him was that he got hired through the rehabilitation program and had done time.
On my left folding was a tall middle-aged woman who loved to yell at me, Cindy. She and I rubbed each other the wrong way and had nothing in common, leading to a tense working relationship.
We folded boxes in silence. This was really my best case scenario as a quiet Cindy was a Cindy not riding my ass, and Corey intimidated me.
But the weight of the silence grew too much for Cindy, who finally said, “I really want to go to bible school.”
I folded a box. I had less than no idea what bible school even was and I didn’t want to get sucked into a religious topic.
On my right Corey said, “W-why, Cindy?”
“Well, cause I believe what’s in the Bible, but I just don’t know it all.”
He nodded sagely to this.
Cindy continued, “And every time I sit down to read the Bible I get real sleepy. And I know it’s the devil.”
It’s so hard to convey her tone in written format. It was delivered with the emphasis and exasperation of an inevitable inconvenience. Like, I just know it’s the squirrels eating the bird seed.
I froze in place at this pronouncement. My only exposure to Lucifer was Neil Gaiman’s Sandman comics and I was trying to mentally twist into a frame of mind where The Morningstar cared enough about this one middle aged lady expanding her knowledge of the Bible that he followed her around cursing her with sleepiness when she picked it up.
I think I expected Corey to say, “Well that’s silly,” or something to acknowledge what a bizarre thing Cindy had just said.
Instead he said, “Yeah!” In a tone of complete agreement.
I didn’t look up. I tried to keep my face neutral at this development.
But something must have shown. Corey said, “You don’t believe in God?”
I shrugged casually and said, “If I did I wouldn’t talk about it at work.”
“C-cause it’s t-true. If y-you t-ry to r-read the B-bible on unsanctif-fied gr-round the d-devil m-makes you s-sleepy!”
I made a noncommittal sound and fled into the back room.
Over the next week it drove me crazy though. The logic of it wouldn’t leave me alone so finally one day when it was just Corey and I in front, and the restaurant was empty, I said, “Hey man, I have a question.”
He shrugged and listened.
“I really don’t mean this with any disrespect, I just genuinely want to know about the logistics-“
“J-ust ask.”
“Okay, so if Cindy gets tired when she reads any book, is it only the devil making her tired when it’s the Bible?”
His face went purple with fury and he yelled, “F-fuck you!” at my retreating back as I fled once more into the back room.
It will forever remain a mystery.
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fantastic-nonsense · 5 months
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I have a fun [citation needed] hypothetical for you. Say you have been granted the authority to make FIVE editorial directives for DC comics that will be followed for at least the next five years. What are you demanding?
No company events.
No major events with ten thousand tie-in comics.
No big crossover events.
No big gimmick events.
No event comics.
Okay, I kid, but only slightly. I'm actually going cheat slightly and give you five plus an extra one that needs a bit more explanation:
No company-wide crossover events or gimmick events that derail major ongoing stories in individual books shall be made. If an event comic is published, any tie-ins will be published separately from the character's ongoing/mini (for reference: like the Blackest Night tie-in specials).
Institute a lore consistency team within the Archives department. Mandate that every single creative team MUST read and utilize a character/story bible before writing any scripts. The scripts will be looked over by a member of the lore team as well as the book editor before being approved for publication.
The Young Justice generation is finally allowed to grow up and, where necessary, get new hero names. In particular, Tim Drake finally gets to age and stop being Robin. He picks 'Blackbird' as his new name, gets a cool new red-and-black costume, and stars in a rebooted Young Justice book alongside his friends.
Barbara Gordon has to formally retire from the Batgirl role and become Oracle full time again. This is handled in a way that is respectful of her character and her disability. Cassandra Cain will be Batgirl full-time again while Stephanie Brown goes back to Spoiler; Cass gets a Batgirl solo ongoing while Steph would join a rebooted Gotham Knights team book that includes her, Kate, Helena, Luke Fox, and Jean-Paul Valley.
Wonder Woman's established lore is acknowledged, respected, and re-emphasized. Diana is a clay baby again, Cassie is Zeus's daughter again, The Return of Donna Troy is acknowledged as the definitive explanation of Donna's multiple-choice backstory (while the fire origin stays the definitive origin), Artemis gets her original origin back, etc. Full acceptance of the Rucka Rebirth retcon to reset Diana's origins and childhood back to the post-Crisis status quo. No references to the Zeus origin or the New 52 Amazons are allowed to be made except in context of Rucka's "it was a lie" explanation.
In priority order, those editorial mandates probably fall out to be something like 2>1>5>3 and 4 in a tie; 3 and 4 are kinda interchangable since they collectively would fix a wide swath of what's wrong with the Bat books right now.
My "extra" mandate would be that writers must utilize existing characters where possible for their stories. No new "major" heroes are to be introduced unless a writer can prove that a book needs a new character to fill an identified gap. Prioritization should go to a) characters who used to be used on a regular basis in a given book but have not been seen in 10+ years and b) characters introduced within the past 5-7 years.
I'd want this one for two reasons: one, there's a ton of pre-existing characters who used to be staple or regularly recurring characters who have failed to get regular appearances since 2011, for a variety of reasons. Forcing writers to use them instead of creating new characters would allow DC to rebuild some continuity, bring back old favorites, and provide closure to lingering storylines that were cut short or never followed up on. Two, there's a hell of a lot of new characters have been introduced and discarded without actually building them out properly the last few years. I would honestly only put this one in place for around 3 years...long enough to force DC to actually flesh out the underutilized newbies and provide some closure and new beginnings for some old favorites.
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irrealisms · 8 months
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diptych || a c!crimeboys web weave
[sources and IDs under cut]
The first collage is a collection of 14 images.
Image 1: A human hands a raccoon a gun. It is the same image CC!Wilbur sent CC!Tommy with the caption "Me passing the dirty crime boy title to you."
Image 2: Question 4 of 15 Do you love your brother? Answers, please choose 1
Image 3: WILBUR: This isn't just a silly river delta to me anymore, it's got a name, it's got a story, it's— it's L’Manberg, and it's … to me it's, it's you.
Image 4: A painting of Cain and Abel. Cain holds a club in one hand and Abel's wrist in the other as they walk forward. While it is in the background and mostly covered by the other images, their faces and hands are visible.
Image 5: Question 5 of 15 Liar. You feel guilty, don't you? Answers, please choose 1
Image 6: A screenshot from The Fall by SAD-ist. Wilbur has his hand on Tommy's shoulder and is leaning forward to speak to him. Tommy looks anxious.
Image 7: "Am I my brother's keeper?"
Image 8: A piece of paper pinned to the wall, reading "Someone is looking up to you. Don't let that person down." In the context of the collage, it is pinned onto Wilbur's sleeve/upper arm from the SAD-ist screenshot.
Image 9: Question 6 of 15 But you're the one that left him. Answers, please choose 1 [check mark next to the selected answer] I wanted to and I wanted it to hurt him so he could let go of me.
Image 10: WILBUR: I’m glad, Tommy! You know what, I’m glad! Because me and you were never good for that server. We just weren’t!
Image 11: When I close my eyes I'm climbing in the dark Trying not to fall apart Sometimes I get so high Falling is the only out I see And I don't wanna take you down with me
Image 12: a softer world comic. the text reads "At my worst, I worry you'll realize/you deserve better./At my best, I worry you won't."
Image 13: Question 7 of 15 Do you think your brother loves you? Answers, please choose 1
Image 14: WILBUR: Tommy, come over here, please, I— Tommy, I was scared I wouldn’t see you again if you didn’t forgive me. And I didn’t want to not see you again.
The second image is a collage of 11 images.
Image 1: WILBUR: You love it, don’t you, Tommy? You love… L’Manberg…
Image 2: a softer sea comic. the text reads "You're my brother and I love you./That's it./No punchline."
Image 3: A painting of two men standing next to each other. they look similar. the one on the right puts his hand flat above both of their heads, sheltering them; the one on the left has his hand up to touch the hand of the one on the right. the painting is titled My Brother's Keeper.
Image 4: I will stand in the dark for you I will hold you back by force I will stand here right outside your door I won’t see you disgraced I will protect your name and your heart Because I miss my friend
Image 5: A screenshot from Final Waltz by SAD-ist. Wilbur has his hand on Tommy's shoulder. Tommy looks up at him.
Image 6: In essence, the entire Bible is written as an affirmative response to this question.
Image 7: TOMMY: I believe that everyone’s got a little bit of good in them. And I know that Wilbur had good in him. Alright?
Image 8: This is no garden. This is my brother and I need a shovel to love him.
Image 9: A collage of an open book with forests, butterflies, etc. the text reads: i care for you still and i will forever.
Image 10: A painting of two young boys wading in the ocean and holding hands. The smaller one has spiderman swim trunks.
Image 11: TOMMY: It’s not about chances, Foolish. It’s about making sure you don’t give up on the people you care about.
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motherstone · 1 month
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What was lost | Faces, faces | From one mother... | What remains
Additional notes:
Page 1-2: Gulfen was suffering a drought at that time, and Trellis’s mother and her brother were hoping to seek help from Valcor to get some water in their village. The elven elder Trellis is talking to has a birthmark, and it’s the same man on page 4.
The Western part of Gulfen is more of a desert because of the mountain ranges. The Eastern part is more diverse in terms of biomes.
Page 3-4: Some of the poses here are referenced from the Children’s Bible Story Book, because I was going insane. I’m drawing this for fun, not profit, so I had to make my work as efficient and as fast as possible while maintaining its quality.
The two soldiers are a commander and her 2nd-in-command. In elven pan-culture, nicking, cutting half, or cutting off the entire ears is to indicate that that person is a criminal, depending on the severity of the crime. A variation of the punishment is also cutting off the nose in some areas.
The Elf King took several prisoners off of death row and life sentences to further bulk up his army with vicious people, and the commander was one of the few officers willing to take that criminal under her command.
Page 5-6: Virgil and Luger cameo. I like to think Virgil played a part in why Trellis gets spared, and Luger is the one taking him away.
I will add analysis notes after I posted all the parts, to show further depth in the comic, but other than that, I'll keep it at a minimum, for now.
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incorrectbatfam · 6 months
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Batfam as made-up facts
Dick: The biggest biohazard in public swimming pools isn't the kid that peed in it, but rather the body oil from all the swimmers accumulating over time. Not only is oil not neutralized by pool chemicals such as chlorine, but it also floats to the surface and is the first thing you make contact with when you jump in the water. This is why a lot of public pools ask people to shower beforehand.
Jason: Making new memories is simply the process of our brains creating and reinforcing new neural connections. Traumatic or impactful events see denser myelination in the hippocampus (brain's memory center) and it's theorized that when we die and our "life flashes before our eyes," there's more activity in those denser regions leading to more vivid images of those moments.
Tim: Klondike's Equation is one of the lesser-known unsolved mysteries in math. It's a branch of calculus that takes Olivar's Laws of four-dimensional derivatives and creates a paradoxal equation by which the right half of it cannot be fully written if the left half is unsolved, but the left half needs values from the right in order to be computed.
Damian: The oldest interactive/roleplaying game dates back to the ancient Sumerians, according to records. It consisted of a theater of clay puppets that the audience would chime in with how they should act. It was often performed at bars or taverns during holidays with stories themed around mythical deities or fables.
Duke: In 1982, Bill Watterson brought to Archie Comics a standalone concept of a child hero and a sentient animal companion. However, he was rejected in favor of the up-and-coming Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles story. After shopping around at companies and getting lots of rejections, Watterson finally found his big break with Andrews McMeel Publishing, cementing his place in comic history with the cult classic Calvin and Hobbes.
Cullen: The smallest readable book ever made is 12 nanometers long by 8 nanometers wide. It was engineered by four particle physics grad students at the University of Vienna and contains the first passage of the Bible across six microscopic pages.
Stephanie: Most aerosol cans use both oxygen and carbon dioxide as the aerosolizing agent, which is why you're told never to spray them near an open flame. However, for food (like whipped cream or spray cheese), nitrogen is used instead. This is to prevent perishable food from oxidizing and for preservation as nitrogen helps maintain a cooler inner temperature.
Cassandra: The most plausible explanation for the legendary chupacabra was proposed by a team of anthropologists in Oaxaca. Essentially, it combines the theories of mass hysteria with the existence of a similar creature that went extinct in early Mesoamerican history. As accounts of this now-extinct creature was passed down, the image of it was slowly distorted. The modern chupacabra legend likely arose in a period of mass hysteria during political and economical insecurity.
Barbara: Traditional computer programs can be broken down into a series of if-then commands by which a condition is given and the program must respond according to the parameters. However, machine learning algorithms use an expanded version of this, known colloquially as if-then-but-because-however. The "if-then" stipulates the parameters, the "but" is for modifiers, the "because" is for generating explanations (usually pulled from a database of other works unfortunately), and the "however" is for exceptions that may rise over the course of running the program.
Harper: Ambidextrous people actually struggle the most when it comes to the drums. Most drum setups and tabs (sheet music) are designed with right-handedness as a default. Left-handed people can simply flip it around it for themselves. However, ambidextrous players have been found to struggle with the asymmetry of the instrument. That's why, among professional rock drummers, only 6% are ambidextrous compared to the 18% of lefties and 76% of righties.
Carrie: Although it feels like our lungs are burning after holding our breath for a while, the sensation actually originates from our inflated diaphragm pressing against our lungs. Since there are more nerve endings around our lungs than our diaphragm, we interpret the feeling higher than where it actually occurs.
Kate: During the war of 1812, a group of nine Canadian men known as the False Damsels donned women's attire to act as spies against the Americans. Of the nine, four of them reportedly continued crossdressing after the war and one of them started going by Margaret a few months later and remained unmarried for 20 years until they moved to Portugal with an unknown courter.
Alfred: In 1757, the British government attempted to train livestock, such as cows and chickens, to spy on domestic threats (such as anti-monarchists). However, this project never took off due to a regional outbreak of avian flu combined with the takeoff of the Industrial Revolution and new inventions that rendered animal labor obsolete.
Selina: Coffees and wines contain a bitter compound called tannins, and the ability to taste them is genetically determined. Capsaicin can be seen analogously. Some people inherit a gene that allows them to detect capsaicin fully, so when they eat a pepper, all they get is the heat and little to no flavor. Conversely, others have a gene where the heat is "muted" and they can better distinguish the flavors between two spicy foods.
Bruce: There is a correlation between one's taste in food and expectation of others. According to a 2019 Harvard study, people who reported preferring more simultaneous flavors in their food were 26% harsher in an activity where they had to grade students' mock essays.
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artbyblastweave · 2 months
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Hey so, thought exercise, how do you think Taylor would fare if she got dropped into the invincible universe? For the sake of mechanics let's say she literally gets dropped in via doorman portal or something.
So one thing about Invincible is that I think it's setting is protagonist-centric in a way that Worm's isn't. To the extent that Invincible's setting has worldbuilding- worldbuilding that isn't, like, ported in from the books's early association with the confederated Image Comics shared universe- it's worldbuilding that exists to convey the impression of a big-two-flavor universe. Here's our spin on the undersea kingdom, here's the riff on the Martians, here are our riffs on SHIELD, on Gotham, on Themyscira, on 70s blaxploitation-adjacent heroes, and so on. This is the entire ethos underpinning the Guardians of the Globe in particular- piggybacking on pre-existing audience affection for the Justice League to convey that it's a Big Fucking Deal when the guardians get blendered in issue 7.
You have flashbacks demonstrating that there was capital-S Superhero Stuff going on in the seventies and eighties, or as far back as the thirties with Immortal, you create the impression of a status quo, a big pond in which Mark is a little fish. And to Kirkman's credit, some effort clearly went into making sure that the non-Mark capes are sufficiently fleshed out that you can believe that they've got other stuff going on in their lives. But at the end of the day, it's the Invincible universe. You don't see a lot of people talking about the Guarding the Globe spinoff. Many of the most interesting characters- Cecil being a big example here- are interesting because of the ways in which they bounce off Mark specifically, the ways in which he chooses to deal with them. The universe is less of a character in the story the way that Earth Bet is- it's just the place where Mark's story, specifically, is happening. If there's a codified setting bible, I'll eat my hat.
Now of course the world of Worm is, in many ways, equally Taylor-centric, because that's what it means to be the protagonist. But owing in part to the themes of the story, and in part to the sheer number of false-start protagonists Wildbow played around with before settling on Taylor, it's very good at conveying the idea that there are many stories happening in this setting and Taylor's is just the one this particular work happened to focus on. There's an actual point to doing OC worldbuilding for what the superhero scene looks like in Wormverse Denver or Seattle or whatever- whereas you can come up with superhero teams for Invincible-verse Denver, but what actually ties them to that universe? What are you getting out of putting them in Invincible specifically, that you wouldn't get from whipping up a barebones MASKS setting to support your OCs? Anyway. This is a really long way of getting to my real point, which is that I think the question is less "how does Taylor bounce off the Invincible setting" and more "How does Taylor bounce off Invincible the character, around whom the setting orbits even when it pretends not to."
This I'm unsure of, because where do you stick her in his life where you get an interesting dynamic? One thing that's interesting here is that Mark's overall character arc already involves learning a lot of taylorisms- the strategic ruthlessness, the shift from a good-evil dichotomy to a helping-not-helping dichotomy-so what about his arc is going to change if they spend time together? Why would they spend time together? Given the different power levels on display, what would differentiate her, in his experience, from the dozens of filler capes that exist for him at the level of "vague acquaintance?" This is assuming she's active as a cape at all, which she might not be if this is Post-GM. Mutual association through Cecil and the Global Defense Agency might be a hook- maybe they're paying for her new arm or something- but would she latch her cart to Cecil's wagon in the first place, barring some obvious crisis situation? Hard to say. If she's depowered, and present in his life somehow in a civilian context, well, that's a fast-track to not being part of the story anymore either, given how Mark's civilian connections slowly fading away was kind of a quiet plot point.
There's some configuration of these pieces that could be interesting, but I'm not quite sure what they are. Soliciting input here.
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zahri-melitor · 12 days
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Okay, I just finished The Victim Syndicate in Detective Comics #943-947, and I was struck by a few things when reading this storyline.
I've heard people claim that Steph is not particularly well-written by James Tynion IV. I'm not actually sure that's the case. What I think the major complaint might actually be is "Steph's characterisation in Tynion's 'Tec does not match Batgirl 2009" in terms of what I've read so far.
Because what I saw on the page? That characterisation looked an awful lot like pre-War Games characterisation of Stephanie Brown. In fact, I'd take a gamble and say it's the most in-character writing for Steph I've read since 2004 where 'in-character' means in accord with what the Bat Bible under Dennis O'Neil had for Steph. (And whatever you want to say about Batgirl 2009, it is undoubtedly true that it departs from pre-2004 characterisation for a number of Doylist reasons, due to the multitude of out-of-book issues).
Steph's relationships with Harper and Cass from Batman Eternal and Batman & Robin Eternal and Batgirl 2011 are preserved.
She’s written as stubborn and determined and angry and raging at a wrong she sees. She IS very wrapped up in Tim but to her eye her BOYFRIEND JUST DIED, and Steph's always been fairly obsessive about Tim and measured herself against him, going all the way back to their first meeting. So many of her actions over the years have either been to spite her father, or to get a reaction from Tim.
And she gets her hands on Tim’s protocols from a program Tim wrote and then uses them on her allies, a classic Spoiler move where she's disrupting an authority-figure's plan (in this case Batman) as she doesn't feel she's being listened to, with a move that is reminiscent of you guessed it, the lead into War Games.
Like that SURE IS some Stephanie Brown like behaviour. Mad at Bruce and yelling at him. Feeling hurt and doing something inadvised with specialised information. Determined that SHE knows better than people with more training and experience than she has.
I dunno. It feels like pretty in-character Steph to me. And circular "Steph gets told she's not good enough, Steph tries to prove herself, Steph screws up, repeat" is a classic, CLASSIC storyline for her all the way back to her first appearance.
And here what is happening? Bruce is telling her to take a break due to her emotions over Tim, the situation goes wrong and Steph steps in to help anyway as she's there, Steph gets benched, Steph STILL gets called in after a villain shows up to talk to her, Steph thinks she knows better than everyone else and arrives with a threat in hand to try resolve the situation, including using PROTOCOLS on ALLIES, Steph gets people to stand down but ends up hurt and told off.
...That's a Steph story. That's always been the shape of a Steph story and the sort of actions she takes.
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balu8 · 19 days
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Giant-Size Kung Fu Bible Stories: Enter--Jack Champion
by Erik Larsen; Mike Toris/Nikos Koutsis and Ferran Delgado
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nerdby · 2 months
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Just want to share these interviews with Chuck Palahniuk, the author of the horror novel Fight Club, about his thoughts on toxic masculinity and his book being used as an incel Bible. Long-story short, the dude comes off as a pretentious asshole who is completely devoid of artist integrity -- he doesn't give a shit about toxic masculinity or the impact his work has on society, negative or otherwise. He is the living embodiment of the phrase rich, white, cisgender gays will be the end of the queer community.
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themasthead · 2 months
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The Prophet of Starfall: Episode 95
Nathan watched as Connor Floyd sat up then worked his legs over to the edge of the bed. Caroline tried to hide her fear as her husband struggled to stand. While the nurse encouraged Connor, Elizabeth readied herself to grab him should he fall. Seeing the concern on Caroline’s face, Connor reassured her, “I’m okay. Really.” “Honey, please let them help. If for no other reason than to make me…
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theunveilingpodcast · 7 months
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Listen to Our EPISODES, BLOGS. In our Site
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