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#but to be dismissive to getting caught 4 times cheating then saying you think you still love her ��� get the fuck out of here
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Reason ~ ch. 3
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Pairing: Female OC x Levi Ackermann
Tropes: Instructor x Cadet, Strangers to Lovers, Male MC falls first
Warnings: angst/slow-burn, strong language, upcoming smut(18+ readers only for those chapters pls 🙈), physical assault/violence, mentions of scars
Brief Summary: This story takes place a few years after the Fall of Shiganshina. Devon Alba is in her final year of the 101st Training Corps (844-847), due to her success as a cadet she gets the chance to meet Captain Levi. She doesn’t think too much of him until he catches her in the midst of doing something that she isn’t entirely supposed to be doing. But surprisingly, this leads to something unexpected...
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11
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Devon ran onto their assigned training site completely out of breath.
She stopped right at Imada’s side. Imada looked as put together as ever—her black hair in a neat low bun with two strands out, framing her face.
“Am I late?” she asked breathlessly.
Just as Imada opened her mouth to respond, Monty responded first. She hadn’t even noticed him right at Imada’s side.
“Nope. You're just on time. Chief Shadis just showed up.”
She caught sight of Keith standing right behind Monty. Their eyes met and a sheepish look passed across his face.
“Captain Levi is here too.” Imada said, a hint of question in her voice.
Devon spun around to see for herself. Indeed, Imada was right. Right beside Chief Shadis stood Levi. He wore a dark gray dress-shirt with a white ascot tie and matching white pants under the typical knee-length brown boots the military always wore. He was already strapped up in ODM gear.
And judging by the expression on his face—it looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
“Good Morning, Cadets. Before I dismissed class yesterday I mentioned that we would be back to doing ODM gear training today so you lot better be prepared.” Chief Shadis’s voice bellowed.
He gestured with his chin towards Levi beside him, “Everyone this is Captain Levi of the Scouts. As you already know, he’s had ample experience with ODM gear so he’ll be very helpful in today’s training. Captain Levi will be with us here and there for the following training sessions due to the postponement of the next Scout’s expedition. If any of you lot want to join the Scout regiment you better be on your best behavior because Captain Levi answers directly to Scout Commander, Erwin Smith.”
A low murmur broke out amongst the cadets.
“Psh, you know why that expedition got postponed? They didn’t get enough funding from the Government—MPs overruled because apparently they needed more money for weapons for god knows what. Anyway, now their next expedition doesn’t start till after we get ranked.” Monty explained.
“They probably need more numbers.” Imada said, thoughtfully.
“How surprising.” Keith muttered.
It really wasn’t surprising that the Scouts were running low on resources. Everyone knew that they only ran on grants from the King but even that could get intercepted at times. And it appeared to be one of those times. Government officials and MPs didn’t like the Scout Regiment. They found them to be a waste of time, resources and people. Truly, the only people backing Scouts were themselves.
“Wait,” she looked at Monty-who was now distracted by trying to swat a fly away from his curly brown hair. “How did you know that?”
Imada reached up and gracefully flicked the bug away in one try.
“Gotcha.” Imada smiled at him.
Monty blushed, “Thanks.”
Devon cleared her throat when Monty began to stare at Imada wiping her hand that had touched the fly on her sleeve.
His head snapped up, “Oh-I-uh-I overheard it from a few MPs on my way back to the barracks yesterday.”
He paused before adding, “Also, I won that race.”
“Yeah, cuz you cheated.”
“Did I say I was done?” Chief Shadis roared.
Once silence ensued he continued, “Today’s activity involves you lot being split into three teams. Levi, Louise and Zameer will be in charge of each team. I hid ten flags within our mock neighborhood. You and your team’s goal is to get the most flags you can and bring it to me. We’ll regroup when I’ve got all the flags.”
“And in case anyone was wondering there is a reward,” Chief Shadis paused, “Your survival.”
“Great. Jus’ fucking great.” Keith muttered. 
Monty snorted, “You honestly shouldn’t have expected anything less.”
“Sue me for wanting to have a real reward.” Keith shook his head.
Chief Shadis continued, “Alright, now go get into your ODM gear and we’ll get started.”
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Devon adjusted the piston-shot grapple hooks around her waist.
Even though she'd worked with ODM gear for almost two years now she still got a little nervous whenever she put it on. The constant tiny thoughts of the equipment malfunctioning or not being able to maneuver properly in a real life situation had a lot to do with it.
If there was one thing she was grateful for it had to be how easy ODM had come to her. She’d been one of the lucky ones who didn’t take too long to get a grasp onto ODM gear mannerisms. As much as skill had to do with perfecting use of ODM gear a lot of it had to do with agility—which not everyone had naturally.
Many trainees had been cut during the first few weeks of ODM gear training.
“This your first day of training or something? Where the hell are your blades?”
She glanced over to see Levi glaring up at one of her teammates.
“S-sorry, sir.” He scurried away to grab them.
Levi shook his head before heading over to where the rest of the team leaders were gathered. Zameer and Louise were both MP officers that were assigned to watch over trainees. They both were actually quite nice.
And yet, somehow she’d managed to get assigned to Levi’s team. Along with Keith-who she still hadn’t talked to yet.
Levi jogged back to them.
“Alright, we gotta get to the edge of sector 4 before starting—so we don’t all overlap in the beginning. Let’s go.”
The mock neighborhood that was used as today’s training grounds was actually an abandoned small town. Thugs had completely ransacked the place so the government decided to make use of it. It’d been split into four sectors for organization purposes and activities like this.
Her group followed Levi into Sector 4. Keith followed closely behind her.
Levi ushered them close, “Alright. Our strategy is simple. Split up to cover as much ground as possible. You see a flag, you bring it straight to Shadis in Sector 1. Zameer’s team starts in Sector 2 so they’ll most likely get to Sector 1 first. I’m expecting their team to stick around Sector 1 and try to steal as many flags as they can for their own, so don’t go to Sector 1 alone. Have at least one teammate with you for back up.”
He pointed at the left side of the group, “You guys go left.”
He pointed to the right side of the group, “You guys head right.”
He gestured to the middle of the group-Devon’s side, “You guys head towards the center and onward.”
The sound of a gunshot rang throughout the grounds.
“Go!” Levi ordered.
Her teammates scurried off to their assigned directions. She ran towards the nearest tall building and used the grapple gun to get to the rooftop.
She walked to the edge of the rooftop to see which buildings her teammates went into. She saw the nearest unattended building and soared through the top floor’s open window. She held her blade out in one hand as she briskly walked through. She kept her footsteps light. Once she searched the entire floor she went downstairs.
Suddenly she heard the sound of footsteps coming from upstairs.
“Shit.” She had to make sure she checked out this whole building before any other team did.
She held her blade out while quickly examining all the rooms on the second floor. She didn’t wait to hear footsteps coming downstairs before continuing onto the last floor.
She efficiently made her way through each room. Just as she swung open the door to the second last bedroom on the floor she spotted a green flag on the floor.
She smiled before snatching it up.
“Hey.”
She swiveled around, her blade outstretched and the flag wrapped tightly around her other hand.
Keith stood with his hands held up. “It’s me.”
She lowered her weapon.
“Oh.” she breathed out, relief evident in her tone.
A subtle smile curled onto his lips as he shook his head, “You always get so competitive during these games.”
She raised a brow, playfully, “You're talking.”
He chuckled, “Listen um..” He ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair. It just hit her that his hair had grown out—it was a little above his shoulders now.
“I just wanted to say sorry about yesterday.” he spoke softly.
His hazel eyes searched her expressionless face.
“I was an asshole—I really didn’t mean to make a scene. I just…” He seemed to be at a loss for words, “I just want us all to be together in the future.”
“Not everyone wants to be an MP, Keith.”
“I get that but is it that bad that I want you to be safe?”
“Is inside these walls really safe?” she questioned.
She knew that question would make him think-especially considering what happened to his home in Shiganshina.
His jaw clenched, “Better in here than out there.”
She walked over to him and took his hand. She placed their interlocked hands against her chest.
She was truly grateful that he cared. There was a point in her life where she would’ve killed to have someone be concerned about her.
“I know that I’m not choosing the easiest path for myself. Trust me, I’m completely aware.” she said.
She squeezed his hand.
“It scares me too but it’s my choice to live with-” she tilted her head, “or not.”
His eyes widened and a smirk split across her lips.
He shook his head, “I can’t stand you.”
She giggled before chucking the flag at him. “You're forgiven.”
Just as he caught the flag, Levi appeared in the doorway. Keith froze in fear when his and Levi’s eyes met.
“Fuck you staring at my face for? Get that flag to Shadis-now.”
“Yessir.” Keith responded before heading out the room.
Just as she was about to step out of the room after him, Levi’s hand shot out—blocking the doorway.
“We’ll leave him be. Might be easier for him to focus on the task instead of chit-chatting.”
She blushed before daring to look Levi in the eye.
They didn’t stand too far apart. Up close she could see the specific shade of dark gray his low-lidded eyes entailed. The fresh scent of eucalyptus soap crept into the air once more.
He dropped his arm from the doorframe and she hastily looked away.
What is wrong with you? Are you seriously staring at him right in front of him?
“Let’s go.” he muttered before heading out of the building.
She swallowed before following him out.
He headed to the next house over and she followed. They diligently checked the house together in silence. She couldn’t help but feel highly aware of herself in his presence and was trying to do everything in her capacity to ignore it.
She smacked herself on the forehead when he wasn’t looking to set herself straight.
She closed the door of the room she’d just examined before frowning when she heard ruckus outside. Her and Levi locked eyes right before heading out the house at the same time.
It appeared that a few of their teammates were blade fighting with a pair of Zameer’s team members, Corinna and Jaden. Jaden could be seen trying to escape with a Green flag but was too busy defending himself.
Levi didn’t hesitate to run over and pluck the green flag out of Jaden’s pocket.
Jaden bellowed but couldn’t chase him due to still being preoccupied in a blade fight. During these practice blade fights cadets weren’t allowed to actually hurt each other but the rule of thumb was to fight until the other lost their balance or blade. If you did either of those things first, you had to stand down.
Levi threw the flag at her and she caught it.
“Go—I’ll back you.”
She didn’t need to be told twice. She used the grapple hook and soared up to the nearest rooftop.
She ran swiftly—Levi hot on her heels. A few other cadets on nearby rooftops caught sight of them and were trying to catch up. A spike of determination entered her system.
No way in hell am I going to let them get their hands on this flag. This one’s mine.
A few cadets from opposing teams ran in her direction ahead. Just as they reached her rooftop, she kicked up—soaring right over their heads to the next building.
She glanced over her shoulder to see if Levi had kept up. To her astonishment, he had. But then again she shouldn’t have expected any less.
She had to double take when she realized that their number of pursuers had dropped down to a few.
“Wha-what did you do to them?”
“I disarmed them.” he said matter-of-factly.
“How?” She didn’t remember him ever stopping.
“Keep your eyes ahead.” he ordered and she glanced back to see that Monty had just made it to the rooftop they were on.
“Hi friend.” he said with a confident smile. Even if they were friends-they were still on opposing teams so she knew not to trust him.
“Hi FriEnD.” Keith said-mockingly-while appearing out of nowhere.
He swooped in and grabbed Monty by the waist. They both went down wherever Monty had come up from.
“KEITHHHH!” Monty roared.
She had to bite her bottom lip to keep from cracking up.
She swore she heard Levi mutter, “Idiots.”
Just then she heard Chief Shadis’s voice somewhere nearby and she swooped off the rooftop onto the ground towards his direction.
There were three cadets from Zameer’s team surrounding Chief Shadis, ready to steal flags—just as Levi predicted.
She held the flag up and darted towards Shadis. Just as she managed to get all three guard cadets to surround her she tossed the flag to Levi.
He caught it easily and handed it over to Shadis.
She smiled in satisfaction but then nearly got shoved out of the way when the three guard cadets ran in the direction of Carter. He held a flag in his hands and was trying to zigzag through Zameer’s team.
Just as she considered snagging it, Imada suddenly swooped down from a nearby building and swiftly grabbed the flag on her way. She tossed it to Chief Shadis before landing next to Monty. They fist bumped. They both were on Zameer’s team.
She glanced over to Levi-who she hadn’t realized was standing next to her. He appeared to have been watching them as well.
“If you’re expecting a fist bump, you're not getting it.”
Her mouth fell open partially before she closed it, “I- I didn’t even say anything.”
The corner of his lip tugged upward ever so slightly. Apparently, her getting flustered had been amusing to him. 
Asshole.
Chief Shadis whistled-signaling for everybody to regroup. After 5 minutes all the cadets and team leaders surrounded him.
“I’ve received all ten flags and the team with the most flags is…a tie! Team Zameer and Team Levi!”
The cadets on the respective teams erupted in cheer and before she knew it she was getting scooped up in someone’s arms. She glanced over to see Keith-hooting and hollering like a wild animal as he shook her.
She couldn’t help but smile before she swatted his hands away.
“Did you bring home the last flag?” he asked.
“No-that was all Imada. She literally stole it off Carter last second.”
He grinned. “Serves him right.”
They both looked over at Carter who was glaring immensely at the cheering teams. He was on Louise’s team, clearly.
“Alright, Alright. You lot can get on with your mid-morning break,” Shadis bellowed, “Be back here in twenty, sharp!”
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tzuu-ii · 1 year
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I’ve done it now…
Myoui mina & Gender-neutral Reader // angst?? Idk
A/N: Thank you if you actually took time to read this!! Im just starting off writing so it’s not great, but im open to any suggestions. Have a great day <3
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I’ve done it now... Had I been mad? No, of course not! I couldn’t have been, but here I was; a dagger in hand, and a corpse lying still on the pavement in front of me. Hands trembling, eyes wide open with tears streaming down my now pale face. Oh, my sweet love! I hurt you hadn’t I, darling? Your precious gummy smile was no longer present. Oh how I missed it already, but it was me! I watched, yes I did! When the light slowly faded from your eyes as the very dagger I’m holding, pierced through your beautiful or dare I even say... enchanting, light skin. I almost couldn’t hear the pounding of my heart as I remembered your torn shrieks who were now ringing in my ears. However, now, the silence was almost deafening. I could only hear myself think. Lost in this void, called my mind, which seemed never ending.
Flashback...
The time read 4:04 PM. Only 60 more seconds until I finally see my stunning queen. 3...2...1...Riiiiing! The long awaited dismissal bell rang! Excitement coursed through my veins as my gaze landed on her. I had always watched the precious beauty from afar, but never this close! Was it possible that the closer I got to her, the more captivating her features became? Ah yes! It must be possible! It is Myoui Mina after all. She was more cheerful than I had ever seen her be. I had even found myself stepping closer to the penguin-looking girl. It was reckless, I knew it was. She could have caught me! But maybe I wanted her to catch me. Maybe I wanted her to know of my existence. It was the rush, the fear of it all! It was what I enjoyed the most. Suddenly, I came to a halt. Another person appeared near Mina. Closer than I could be at the moment. I could see the stars in my beloved Mina’s eyes when she realized who it was. The individual wrapped their arms around her waist and peppered sweet kisses across the smaller girl’s face. Which she seemed to be a little too fond of, I must say.
How could they!? Mina was mine and mine only! The excitement that previously coursed through my veins, was long gone now. Instead, there was hate, anger, jealousy. Then there was the next action! One I only dreamed of being able to do. The person cupped my love’s cheeks and brought her close, before pressing a passionate kiss to her lips. I was fuming with anger. My blood boiled as I could only observe from afar. From there, they pulled away with gay, cheery smiles and bid there goodbyes to one another. She was on the move now, meaning that I was as well. It wasn’t a long walk back to her cozy home which was rather convenient. I trailed quite a few yards behind her to make sure she hadn’t a single thought of me following her. She would have never guessed I was there. I was very clever indeed. At this point, she reached in her bag; pulling out her keys. “Mina! Mina! I called out. She turned around confused, and I couldn’t help but to be mesmerized. I was so close to her this time! I stared in complete awe for a few seconds, when I was interrupted by her soft voice.
“Uhm, do I know you?” She squeaked.
“Well... not exactly, but I do know you, darling.”
Her cheeks showed an adorable red tint despite confusion still written across her face. “Darling?” I heard her mumble under her breath.
“Why yes my love, it's so great to finally see you up close!”
It seemed as though she was processing what I just said. That was when her previous expression had switched from puzzled to fearful. She turned and bolted towards her front door, but I was faster. I slipped my hand in hers and pulled her close. For some reason she continued to try and get away from me. Now it was my turn to be confused. I could offer her EVERYTHING; my love, my attention, my care and this is how she treats me?! First she cheats on me, and now she tries to run away from me?!
“Damn it Mina, can’t you just stay with me?!” “I don’t even know you!” She shrieked.
I grew furious and lost all control I had prior to this event. One second I was holding her in my grasp and the next, I was staring at her deceased corpse lying on the ground. It was me. I had done it now..
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Chapter 13: The Dreams In Which I'm Dying Are The Best I've Ever Had
🎶🎵🎶
Word Count: 1284
TWs: Nightmares, themes of death, references to cheating, arguing, drug mention, themes of neglect
⛤⛤⛤
William tossed and turned in his bed throughout the night, his dreams plagued with uncomfortable imagery and howling regret. Evan’s bloody face, FredBear crawling with maggots, the hand of God himself coming down to crush him out of existence. And a memory from his childhood, his own terrible “mistake.” He had once had an older brother, Barnaby, who would’ve been his children’s uncle if he hadn’t met an untimely death. Barnaby had always been his parents’ favourite. Handsome, athletic, and popular, the polar opposite of William's previously introspective and socially awkward nature. They had always been at each other's throats, when adults weren't looking, and one day William had taken it too far.
He of course knew the path Barnaby would take to and from school each day, and when the weather permitted it, he tended to take his bike. While Barnaby was getting his education, a young William willingly skipped school to tamper with the bike, as well as a wooden bridge Barnaby would later have to cross when he was dismissed for the day. The bridge was on its last legs, with several rotten boards and missing balusters… easy for any young man with the right determination to kick apart. Below the bridge was a shallow creek. While it hadn’t been William’s intent to kill Barnaby, he couldn’t deny he was more than happy to get him out of his life. His brother didn’t come home that day. It was nearly eight in the evening when the police showed up on his parents’ doorstep saying they had found their son dead in a stream- The cause of death was blunt force trauma. It was that experience that made William realize that violence ran in his blood, and one could never know when it would strike.
He gasped as he awoke, fists twisting his sheets tightly as he stared at his ceiling. His wife breathed shallowly beside him, gripping her pillow as if it were him. Attempting to calm down, William glanced at the clock on his bedside table. 4:00am. He sighed, rubbing his eyes and slowly sitting up. He glanced back at his unconscious wife. Even when sleeping she looked exhausted. He might’ve loved her at one point, but now he could only spare pity and contempt for her state of being. He entered their master bathroom and splashed some water onto his tired face, holding the edge of the sink as he stared into the mirror with slightly bloodshot eyes.
“I have to know,” He muttered, shaking his head. Throwing day clothes on over his pyjamas, William once more set out for Fredbear’s. He wasted no time in putting both animatronics into his car and bringing them home, where he relocated them to his basement. SpringBonnie had come home only as a keepsake. He couldn’t bear to part with it, even if he improved on its design. It was a part of him, after all. FredBear was the real star of the show here. So many questions he so desperately needed the answers to.
“Please, Evan, if you’re in there, speak to me. Show your old man he’s not crazy,” William begged in front of the animatronic. “We still have your old things, your room is just as you left it. Are you proof that life persists when the mortal body has failed?”
Slowly, FredBear reacted to his words, its voice croaking to life again. “Papa! Where’ve you brought me??”
“Home, my son.” His hair stood on end again. Though he didn’t want to fear this revelation, it appeared to be an involuntary side effect. “I’ve brought you home.”
“What happened to me?”
William began to explain, and as he did, his disgust with Michael increased tenfold. He had been so caught up in trying to wrap everything up nicely and quietly that he hadn’t had time to feel anger at the perpetrator of the crime.
“He hated me, papa,” Evan whimpered. “Why did Michael hate me?”
“I don’t know, sweetface. Your brother… I think he’s sick. And not with a cold or anything like that, sick with something that isn’t so obvious.” William sighed, his eyes shining. “I’m so happy you live on.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. But was this just a fluke, or could it be reproduced? Why Evan? Why in this way?
“Can I go to bed, papa?”
William frowned. He hadn’t considered that Evan would still long for the activities of the living, even if he didn’t need them anymore.
“I’m… sorry, Evan, but I need you to stay here, in my workshop. Just until your father has a better idea of what’s going on, okay?”
“Okay…”
William stepped toward the stairs. “Goodnight, Evan.”
“Goodnight papa… wait!”
“What is it, Evan?”
“Please… don’t turn off the light. It’s been so dark and so cold…”
“... Give me two seconds.” William rushed upstairs to retrieve an old nightlight from Evan’s room and returned, plugging it into the wall before turning off the lights. “Better?”
“... Better.”
William exhaled, relieved, and returned to his bed. He only got two more hours of sleep in, but with the adrenaline in his system he considered himself lucky. He knew exactly who he was going to talk to about this, but before he could rush out the door after his morning routine, Michael stopped him in his tracks.
“Don’t fucking go,” he insisted in anger and earnestness. “We just buried Evan yesterday. I don’t know where the Hell you go any more, but if my hunch is right, Jesus fucking Christ, can’t you keep it in your pants for another twenty-four hours?!”
William scowled. “Who’s fault is that, again? And I honestly don’t know what you’re talking about--”
“William, look around you! This house is in complete disrepair because--”
“Don’t you dare call me by my first name as if we’re on the same level of respect!” William boomed. “I am your father, you are a child, you should be thanking your lucky stars that I didn’t let you get sent off to juvie with the rest of your glue-sniffing buddies!”
“You’re right, I’m only a child, so I shouldn’t be expected to feed and clean up after Elizabeth on top of my other responsibilities while Magarete snorts until she whites out and makes terrible art, then crashes into bed with a bloody nose and a headache every afternoon!”
“Stop it!” Elizabeth’s voice made them both back away from each other. “Stop screaming at each other!”
“Oh, Elizabeth, darling,” William’s voice went from tearing down walls to a gentle breeze as he beckoned his daughter into his arms. He knelt down and hugged her tightly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Michael stared incredulously at him over Elizabeth’s shoulder, his mouth half agape.
“I promise,” William spoke slowly as he stood back up, Elizabeth still clinging to his leg. “When I come home, I will make dinner and clean the house. Don’t lift a finger while I’m gone.” He took his wallet out of his pocket and handed Michael a few dollar bills. “You can order takeout for lunch.”
Michael crammed it back into his father’s hand. “I don’t want your damn money, I’ll buy it with my own. Lizzy, we’re going over to Henry’s, go pack some small things you want to bring with you in your backpack.”
Elizabeth frowned while William pat her hair soothingly. “It’s alright, listen to your brother.”
She reluctantly let go of him and did as she was told. William and Michael shared a final glare before William left, extremely glad to be out of Michael’s presence. He would keep his word, but in the meantime, he could not keep his discovery to himself for much longer.
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televinita · 8 months
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Reading Triage (??)
I'm in a whirly-twirly-IDK-what-to-read mood and am throwing out TBR plans practically on the daily, so what if I simply made an enormous post full of titles that caught my eye in the last week and which I may or may not read soon.
1. Lock Every Door and/or The House Across the Lake - Riley Sager: I loved Home Before Dark (my thoughts are still percolating; I haven't forgotten your note, @kateschechterxthorwasmyfirstotp!), and I think that one will stay my fave, but these two look almost as appealing.
2. A Paris Apartment - Michelle Gable: because I keep thinking that Lucy Foley's mystery-thriller with almost the same title is based on that iconic real-life news story about the apartment that was left untouched since WWII full of beautiful art and heirlooms, and it's not, but this one is.
(it's not the only one either, but it's the one that got to me first and/or looks best. whether it actually is the best...hm, don't love this MC having a cheating husband whom she retaliates against by also cheating. why can she not be 34 and single instead)
3. The Paris Apartment - Kelly Bowen: this one is also about that! it looks like it is probably better but also. I am just So Tired of dual-timeline WWII novels in Europe.
4. The Apartment - S.L. Grey: I don't know a damn thing about this one or the author. It popped up when I searched Foley's book in the library catalog, because this apartment is also in Paris, but this one appears to be a horror/thriller and I immediately said "hell yeah place request." (update: I peeked at Goodreads. Ratings appear Bad. So...we'll see.)
5. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil - John Berendt: idk what randomly put this book back into my brain, but it's one I remember seeing everywhere in used books for a while, and might even actually remember seeing in the 90s/early 2000s due to its iconic cover. I always dismissed it because "eh, adult book," but today I realized, oh yeah, I like adult books now sometimes, so I read the synopsis and it sounded pretty intriguing actually, and then I learned for the very first time it's actually nonfiction and not a novel?? So...maybe. Seems a good October read.
6?. The Work of Art - Mimi Matthews: I started the ebook assuming I could get the paperback from the library the next day, since it was checked in and reading on a screen sucks, but IT WASN'T ON THE SHELF WHERE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE. I placed a request to make them find it, and yet its status remains unchanged since 9/24, which I can only conclude means they have well and truly misplaced their only physical copy. >:( So fingers crossed they find it, because I simply will not make further progress on a computer screen with a book of this length.
7. Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries - Heather Fawcett: I keep forgetting about this and then being randomly reminded about it in BookTube videos. I tend to like this style of book (very A Natural History of Dragons), and it's one of the few ways a book with a faerie element can appeal to me.
8. The Echo of Old Books - Barbara Davis: Beautiful cover, antiquarian bookseller, sold.
All right, I think that's everything I've just collected or am in the process of calling in from the library...
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24-HOURS-LATER UPDATE: would you believe that only books #2-4 are available to me right now? "Parisian apartments or NOTHING for you, Televinita," says the library, as all the other books are checked out right now (or lost), except #5, whose dense text and snoreful writing style immediately put me to sleep so that's gonna be a no. And I've already read the last book (about Tara) from yesterday's library triage post. I guess I still have Good As Gold... and the hundreds of unread books I own?? nah
48-HOURS-LATER UPDATE: that said... Lock Every Door is now on its way in, as are two books I put on hold ages ago and also two books I just found out about and immediately decided to read.
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mionemymind · 3 years
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Chapter 3: The Harsh Treatment
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Fake Memories
Series Summary: After Y/n is caught cheating on Wanda with Carol, Y/n would do just about anything to get Wanda back into her life. But was it even Y/n’s fault that she cheated? Or was it the new enemy set on revenge?
Chapter Summary: What will happen to Y/n as the team pushes her past her limits? 
A/n: I lied, I decided to be nice and post it now. Honestly, the amount of support that I’m receiving from this fanfic has literally made me smile so much. I really love all of you who read and/or comment. You mean the world to me. Let me know what you think. :) (Not my GIF)
Warnings: Starvation, harmful thoughts, curse words, self-doubt, mentions of blood, injuries, angst
Word Count: 5k
Masterlist
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 |
Y/n abruptly woke up at the feeling of pressurized gas coursing through her body. She quickly sat up, unable to see anything in the white fog. The cold feeling only lasted a couple seconds before F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Fire has been contained.” Y/n hugged herself for warmth as she waited for the fog to disappear. This was the 13th time this month that she was woken up with pressurized gas. At first, it was foam but someone in maintenance had changed the system after the 5th time she woke up. 
Y/n looked at her surroundings and sighed at the damages to her sheets. There were burn marks along with small amounts of frostbite from the gas. “At this rate, I won’t have money for food.” With a grim face, Y/n got up from her bed and proceeded with taking everything off her bed, a routine she unfortunately started to learn. 
Y/n didn’t know when things got worse. If she had to guess, maybe it was after the whole fiasco with Wanda. The team had been on edge ever since then. “They probably thought I hurt her,” Y/n thought at the time, but it was far from the truth. She had wanted to explain herself to the team but dismissed those thoughts with, “What’s the point in trying? I’ll always be guilty to them.” 
As for Wanda, the still heartbroken girl didn’t dare to speak to the team about that night. Even she didn’t quite know what happened. Since that night, she only lied to herself stating that maybe Y/n had done something. It would probably remove the guilt she had when she thought of the blood running down Y/n’s face. But even the lie couldn’t repress the truth from her thoughts. 
After she collected her bedding, she threw it away in the trash can along with the other damaged beddings. Y/n grabbed her wallet off her night stand and opened it. She couldn’t feel it, but her heart dropped at the sight of the lack of money she had. Only a $20 dollar bill as well as a couple ones were left. She closed her eyes and tried her best to keep herself calm, to try and act like the world wasn’t closing in on her. It was a couple minutes later when she opened her eyes and looked at her wallet again. “This was supposed to last me for the rest of the month.” Y/n rubbed her forehead, feeling the overwhelming stress from her lack of funds. 
One might ask, “Aren’t you an Avenger? Shouldn’t you make a shit ton of money.” And at one point, Y/n would say yes, she did. But it all came back to that night. A week after, she had overheard a conversation that went…
“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this to her.” Y/n was about to go around the corner, but decided to wait at the sound of Steve’s voice. “It’s simple Rodgers - unless I have to remind you why we needed to redo the glass in the conference room.” Steve sighed at Tony’s simple minded actions. Y/n could practically feel him crossing his arms in a disapproving manner. 
“Well she did work fair and hard for her money Tony - this just feels wrong.” Y/n heard a couple clicks before Tony replied with, “This is for Wanda. Anything to get Y/n out of here by her own means is worth it. If you have a problem with this, you must not care as much for Wanda as I thought.” Steve sighed again seeing as he was morally put in an awkward position. It was either care for Y/n or care for Wanda. “That’s what I thought.” Tony left with a smug look on his face as he clicked more on the screen in front of him. 
It didn’t take long for Y/n to see the effects of Tony’s decision. Her pay day was the following day and the overwhelming sense of panic and anxiety rose up within her as she only had $400 to survive until the next pay day, which was a month later. Since then, her food portions have been small to say the least. Y/n learned that she only had enough money for the month to eat at least once a day and even that was cutting it. The dramatic changes to her diet had slowly affected her powers but it recently had an exponential increase. 
This was her fourth month of hardly eating when her powers started to flare at night. It has gotten to the point that Y/n couldn’t control them in her sleep leading to F.R.I.D.A.Y having to deal with her fireside. But her powers weren’t the only thing that has changed. If anyone were to actually look, they would see that Y/n had gotten skinnier. Her literal glow was getting duller and duller the more time passed.  
However, Y/n refused to feel sorry for herself. The sentence “I deserve this” was burned into her head. The brain tricks she puts herself through even allowed her to convince that Tony's decision was right. That Wanda didn’t need to tell the truth to the team. That Steve didn’t need to defend her. And that the team certainly was allowed to make her feel like nothing. Because to Y/n, if she didn’t deserve this, then why would you possibly treat a person like this? Just why? 
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Of course, Wanda didn’t notice these changes at all. The girl was trying her best to avoid Y/n as much as possible. She always had exit strategies in place in case she were to be in the same vicinity as Y/n. However, Wanda also didn’t notice that lack of Y/n’s presence. Much to her dismay, Y/n’s efforts were the reason they didn’t see each other much. 
What Wanda did notice though was the slow and gradual decline of snacks in her cubby. It left her to question whether Natasha was done doing these small favors for her. But her reports were still getting done. 
The red head didn’t have much room to think though as she got slammed down on the mat from the other red head. “Take a ten - you’re distracted and we can’t keep going like this.” Wanda grumbled at another failed attempt to flip Natasha over. Hand to hand combat was one of the few subjects that Wanda hated the most. With the help of Natasha, Wanda got up and walked over to the waters on the other side of the room. She was gulping down the remaining when Natasha’s words caught her off guard. “What happened?” 
Wanda cocked an eyebrow while still drinking her bottle, needing more elaboration. Natasha faced Wanda while hundreds of thoughts racked her mind. Luckily for her, Wanda had trained her on how to make them quiet enough that Wanda wouldn’t be able to hear. When Natasha found the right words, she said, “I am not doubting you. I am doubting her…” Wanda closed the bottle and looked around the room to avoid Natasha’s eyes. This had been the first time that anyone from the team had remotely even asked her about that night. To be frank, she hadn’t expected Natasha to be the one to break the ice. Usually it was Steve that would act like the team’s counselor. Guess things change. 
Wanda sighed and recollected her memory for the night that continued to haunt her. “One minute, I left to get a drink from the bar. - she said that she needed to go to the bathroom. The next minute, I come back to see her all over blondie.” Wanda’s grip on the bottle tightened at the words she was going to say next. “I thought it was a mistake - that she could have been too drunk that night - b-but her thoughts were so - loud.” Wanda slammed her fist at the table in front of her, tears already falling down her cheeks. “A-a-and I saw everything-” 
The broken hearted girl didn’t have much energy left in her to continue. She dropped to her knees and sobbed into her hands. Natasha kneeled beside Wanda. She pulled the poor girl into her arms, trying her best to physically comfort her. But nothing could really make Wanda feel better. What could you say to a girl that saw every moment where her girlfriend has cheated on her? Nothing - you say nothing. 
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“It’s quite pathetic actually,” Tony said as he spun the rod, causing his player to score in foosball. He was currently versing Steve as the two decided to quietly speak about Y/n’s actions for the past couple weeks. Going on the defense again, Steve shot back but Tony was quick to block. “She’s probably just trying to get her money back.” Steve huffed from the sudden slap shot as well as Tony’s rude words. 
For the past couple weeks, Y/n had gone from trying to win Wanda back to trying to win the whole team back. The first thing they noticed was all the completed mission reports and the continuation of it. Clint was the first to jokingly comment, “Bruce must really love mission reports.” But the genius bore a confused look before replying with, “It wasn’t me. Even I haven’t had anything to do in my stack for a couple days.” Bruce had a displeasured look on his face. Clint just assumed it was either he wanted to do his stack of reports or the comment was actually true...or maybe both. 
When it was time for the meeting, Clint had asked everyone in the room, minus Y/n, on who was completing the mission reports for everyone. “Well, I’m doing Wanda’s and mine,” Natasha claimed as she sat in her usual spot. No one was able to detect her lie, but then again, Natasha was always good at lying. 
Clint was quick to figure out that the only person remaining must have been the person responsible. With a straight forward voice, he explained to the team that Y/n had been completing everyones, besides Wanda’s and Natasha’s, reports. Still, Natasha sat there, copying the confused looks on everyone’s faces. She didn’t care to tell them the truth, it wasn’t worth it. However, the meeting proceeded with little comment on Y/n’s actions. She wasn’t worth the mention. 
“What if she actually is trying to say sorry to us?” Steve couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty for Y/n, but Tony’s words made the guilt go all away. “Oh - so miss Hydra over here actually wants to apologize - hilarious Steve.” With that, Tony quickly spun the rod and scored the final point, making him win the game. What the two failed to realize was the fact that Y/n had overheard their conversation. She no longer felt hungry for the day and had retreated back to her room, feeling overwhelmingly numb from the confession she heard.
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It was a new and different day for Wanda. She had managed to want to try and sit in the common room with her team seeing as sitting in her room no longer gave her the same satisfaction anymore. Scrolling through the tv, she was about to pull up Bewitched when the following words appeared on the screen:
Bewitched is longer provided on Netflix. Please see related tv shows. 
“What do you mean it’s no longer available?” Wanda frustratedly questioned. And here she was trying to have a good day. “Sorry kid, I guess Netflix took it off their streaming service,” Clint said as he leaned over the couch. “No why would they do that?!” Wanda said with an exasperated look. Clint simply shrugged, Netflix did have an awful reputation for getting favorites removed or canceled. “No clue, but you could try other shows.” Wanda crossed her arms and huffed at his suggestion. “I was really feeling Bewitched today.” Ruffling her hair, Clint left after saying, “Try to feel for something else.” 
However, Wanda had failed to feel anything but angry for the remaining of the day. It wasn’t until she sat in her room for the night, aimlessly finding shows in her room when she noticed Bewitched on her home screen. She quickly clicked on it noticing that all eight seasons are there for her own viewing. Her mood immensely increased for the night as she fell asleep in the middle of season two. 
Outside of her room, Y/n had been cleaning up the compound for the night. It was getting harder and harder to clean the kitchen when everything in her wanted to just take a couple of snacks for herself. Her hunger was constantly on her mind as well as the stupid flashes that have sporadically appeared more and more everyday. But she wanted more than anything to prove to the team that she is a good person. Stealing, no matter how minor, was probably the last thing she needed to be labeled as. 
When she completed for the night, she returned to her room but paused outside of her door when she heard the Bewitched theme song loudly play in Wanda’s room. A small smile appeared on her face as she walked back into her room and slept on the floor tonight.
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“Did it ever occur to you that I love you - like a lot?” The couple were laying in Carol’s room decorated with punk rock posters and pictures of their team. Small plants were placed around the room while Malcolm in the Middle was used as background noise. 
“Nah. I haven’t heard you say it in approximately - 10 minutes?” Carol laughed as Y/n glanced at her watch. They laid on their sides as they faced each other, their faces being only inches away. “Well I do.” Carol cupped Y/n’s cheek as she soon grew mesmerized. 
There are words to always describe feelings with someone but they all felt overused or incomplete. Because everything felt like this daydream colored borders with warm tones and retro filters as she glanced at Y/n. She felt like she was watching a show that she would never get tired of. Even if the show was in color or black and white, new or old, slow or fast, she would watch just to see her. Just her. 
“You do what?” Carol flicked Y/n’s forehead at her response. “Kidding - kidding.” Y/n said as she rubbed her forehead. Carol rolled her eyes and kissed Y/n’s head as she cuddled into her arms, legs tangled within the sheets. “I do love you.” Y/n kissed her hair as she combed it with her hand. “I know,” she whispered, hoping Carol would pick up on the secret reference. Because to Y/n, yeah, she’s worth a whole galaxy. 
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It was the middle of the night when Steve woke up from a nightmare that shook him from his slumber. Rather than staying in bed to force himself to sleep, he got up and headed to the kitchen for a late night snack. 
Heading into the pantry, Steve pursed his lips noticing that Y/n’s cubby had been empty for weeks it seems like. The guilt that was slowly forming inside him kept building and building. Although he knew he could try to do something about it, the loyalty he had to his family - to Wanda. That was something he didn’t want to break. 
The relationship with Wanda and Steve was something similar to a father and daughter relationship. Steve had always wanted a kid of his own and Wanda had lost her father. The irony of it all just happened to work for the two. Even though Wanda nor Steve would admit it out loud, they viewed each other as the roles that needed to be filled in their lives. They needed each other regardless of titles.
But then there was Y/n. The troubled girl that made Steve absolutely nervous with how quick her and Wanda seemed to like each other. It absolutely didn’t help Steve’s case when the whole team found out about Y/n’s past. His anxiety had practically skyrocketed. It eventually led to a one on one talk with Wanda about how sometimes we need to protect ourselves before letting people in. 
But Y/n was still there. Breaking down Wanda’s walls. So just like any Dad would, Steve watched over. Making sure his girl was always happy and safe. So while Natasha may have refilled Wanda’ cubby and did her reports, Steve had carried Wanda to bed during nights she couldn’t sleep. He made her tea for times that she didn’t want to talk, which was often. He tucked her in at night and cuddled with her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. He was just there. 
But so was she. She was there whenever Wanda cried at night. She was there when Wanda would sometimes forget to eat after busying herself all day. She was there to take care of Wanda. She was there when Steve wasn’t. And that meant everything to Steve. So why couldn’t Steve be there for Y/n? 
There were a lot of unanswered questions roaming around Steve’s head. Rather than pondering more about them, he walked around the tower, eating a pack of cookies for himself. Just as he was turning the corner, he glanced towards the conference room to see Wanda asleep in front of her reports. However, the more alarming part was the girl that happened to be right in front of Wanda. Steve quickly grew on high alert and observed Y/n’s actions. However, after a couple minutes of harmless actions, Steve forced his shoulders to relax. “She’s just doing reports - calm down,” Steve thought. 
But he couldn’t calm down. The guilt had maneuvered it’s way back up to his throat as he actually noticed the pale state of the once bright girl. For someone that had literal fire abilities, she lacked the glow of any raging fire. Feeling nothing but guilt all over, Steve felt compelled to say something - anything. But he froze. He didn’t know what to say. 
However, the opportunity soon was lost as Y/n finished everyone’s stack of reports. Steve hid around the corner as Y/n passed him. Hearing a door close was when Steve stepped out of hiding. He glanced towards the direction of Y/n’s room, feeling every need to go to her. But his footsteps led him to Wanda. He picked her up and carried her to her room. Wanda will always be first in Steve’s heart. And nothing could change that. 
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“We have to stop this treatment Tony.” Steve waltzed into Tony’s lab the very next day. For once, he couldn’t sleep for the remainder of the night. Y/n was all over his mind. The guilt was practically eating him alive. 
Tony rolled his eyes at Steve’s dramatic fashion for entrances. “Oh - good morning Tony - how are you - I’m actually pretty good.” Steve rolled his eyes as he stood in front of Tony, a hologram in between the two. 
“Cut the crap Tony - I’m being serious.” Steve crossed his arms. This needed to end. “And you think I’m not Rodgers?” Tony was quick to respond, already growing irritated by the conversation. 
“This isn’t right - none of this right.” Steve wiped the hologram to finally get a clear view of Tony as he grew frustrated by the second. Tony simply swiped it back, not wanting to deal with the issue. “Well maybe if she just quit - we wouldn’t need to worry about anything. It’s not my fault Fury hired Ms. Hydra - and if he finds out I fired her, he would not allow it at all.” 
“But can’t you see that your stupid plan isn’t working? All we’re doing is abusing the girl.” Steve wiped the hologram again but Tony simply walked to a different station and continued his work. Angry with his response, Steve walked around the table and stood beside Tony. 
“This needs to end Tony,” Steve said through his gritted teeth. The man was clenching his jaw so hard, it almost looked as if he was going to break his teeth. However, Tony quickly glared at Steve at the mention of his threat. 
“Don’t you fucking dare. Can’t you actually see that I’m trying to protect Wanda.” Steve tilted his head at the awful reasoning for his actions. “How is this protecting Wanda? Why are you even trying to protect her?” 
Tony slammed his fist into the table, feeling his anger rising by the second. “We - no - I need to protect her Steve!”
“Why Tony? Why?” 
“Because I’m the goddamn reason her parents and her country is dead. I’m the reason that everything she ever loved is gone. I’m the reason for her sadness. She, of all people, deserves happiness. And I sure as hell won’t let anyone else hurt her anymore - no more Steve.” Tony didn’t give Steve a chance as he walked out the facility needing a day drink more than ever. 
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It was lunch time and all Wanda could think about was the need to cook paprikash. She didn’t know when the last time she had actually cooked. And seeing as the majority of the team was on missions, she could actually cook without interruptions or lingering eyes. 
Walking into the kitchen, Wanda tied her hair up and started to take out the necessary ingredients for the meal. It was when she was talking the spices out when Vision had appeared out of nowhere, nearly scaring the girl. “Vision!” 
Sensing a slight rise in her heart rate and anger, Vision had quickly apologized. “Sorry Wanda.” Wanda shook her head and quickly resumed prepping. “I will try to work on making my presence known. If I may ask, what is it that you’re doing?” 
“I’m making paprikash.” Vision’s mind grew curious at the word and quickly searched his database for it. “I see. A traditional Sokovian food.” Wanda didn’t realize it, but she had felt a little annoyed at the synthezoid’s presence. It wasn’t anything he did, but Wanda desperately wanted alone time for herself. 
Before she could ask, Vision had said, “Good morning Y/n.” Wanda’s quickly grew wide as she avoided glancing in Y/n’s direction. She hadn’t stayed in the tense position though as Vision announced, “Oh - it seems she had left before saying hi back.” 
Feeling ever more frustrated with people’s presence, Wanda was about to ask him to leave but noticed the confusion written all over his face and didn’t hesitate to ask, “What is it Vision?” Vision pursed his lips and contemplated his words. It was visibly obvious to see that he was trying to wrack up what to say. “I think...it’s just…” He sighed knowing that this was going to be a sensitive subject to the witch but knowing everything she's been through, lying was not the best option. “It’s just that Y/n-” Wanda quickly cut Vision off in desperation to know what Y/n had done to Vision. If the girl were to even lay a finger on him, she was sure to deal with it herself.  “What did she do? Did she hurt you? I swear-” Seeing her eyes turn red, Vision immediately explained himself. “-No no no. It’s not that, the complete opposite actually.” Wanda’s eyes slowly turned back to normal. When Vision saw that her heart rate was close to normal, he continued. “It’s just that...Y/n’s vitals have been decreasing in a fluctuating matter. Some days it would be a small decrease, but some days it would be a big decrease. Overall, her health has been poor.” Vision looked back at where Y/n once stood. If he hadn’t quickly analyzed her, he wouldn’t have noticed that today’s vitals was record worst. “Although she does have physical injuries, she seems to continue to radiate pain throughout her body even when those injuries have healed. It starts through her head and it spreads like a radio wave through her nervous system. I’ve done my calculations and the leading cause could be migraines...” Vision soon was in deep thought, trying to recalculate just to make sure what he was about to say was correct. “...but it doesn’t make sense.” 
Wanda tilted her head. Processing this information was hard seeing as at her darkest moments, she wanted nothing but Y/n to be hurt. She deserved it for all the pain she caused her to go through. But hearing it now? That was a different story. It was like an internal conflict was going through her. Should she even care about Y/n’s health? “What doesn’t make sense?” Vision looked hard into Wanda’s eyes as he said, “Migraines shouldn’t cause her heart to stop multiple times.” 
Wanda stared at Vision, processing the information that the love of her life is practically dying. “A-are you sure?” Vision slowly nodded. “However, after some calculations, I do believe she will be okay. She only needs a good source of food for her healing regeneration to fully heal this.” Wanda relaxed at Vision’s words. Although she has been through immense pain through these past couple months, having Y/n gone from her life like that would hurt more than anything. 
Before Vision could continue his explanation, F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Emergency alert. All available Avengers please head to the quinjet per the request of Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers.” Quickly, the two headed to the plane as the important part of Vision’s explanation was missed. Little did Wanda know, Y/n would not heal any time soon. 
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The trio arrived on the quinjet and wasted no time trying to figure out the mission that was ahead of them. There was a serious feel in the atmosphere sensing that this had to be bad. There was no way that it couldn’t have been. Because if it wasn’t, they certainly wouldn’t have invited Y/n to this mission. 
Lately, the girl has been assigned to only solo missions. Y/n couldn’t quite remember the last time that she was on a mission with any team member nevermind the fact with the whole team. 
“Backup is needed immediately after touch down. Vision and Wanda, meet up with Steve and Sam at the Northeast corridor. Y/n, you are assigned to the entrance,” Tony stated through the intercom. 
The feeling in Y/n’s stomach worsened. Not only was she hungry and sleep deprived, she didn’t also have a partner with her. It also didn’t help the fact that the flashes have gotten worse. Y/n couldn’t help but pray for a miracle. After all, they were dealing with the very people Y/n hated - Hydra. 
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Y/n couldn’t quite tell when things on the mission got to shit. Maybe it was the fact that as soon as they touched down and went to their assigned positions, Y/n received a massive swarm of Hydra agents. It didn’t help that her health regeneration was not at its peak or these agents actually were decently trained. Or was it during the third wave, that was currently happening, where Y/n tested the limits of her body. 
Seeing the onslaught of agents coming her way, Y/n decided it was time to test out her new ability. She rapidly swung her right arm, building momentum as the fire within her right side blazed. As soon as the enemies were close, she released a fire tornado in their path. It had managed to take out at least half of the wave, but more and more kept coming. 
Pressing her comms, Y/n said, “Can someone send back up my way?! There’s too many for me to handle.” Y/n kicked back the agent that was about to stab her in the back, but was too distracted to the point a different agent was able to cut her leg. “Fuck.” 
Y/n quickly released an ice wall that at first glance, appeared to be the same height as the Great Wall of China. She hoped the barrier would give her enough time for her backup to appear. Focusing all her energy on her fireside, Y/n aimed at any agent near her, using her arm as a flamethrower. 
However, worry immediately grew when no one had responded to her call within a couple minutes. Before she could request again, Nat had spoken bitterly in the comms, “On my way.” Sighing in relief, Y/n continued to fight off the agents the best she could. 
But no matter how hard she tried to buy herself time, it seemed that Natasha was taking forever to come. It had gotten to the point that multiple lashes already appeared. Her healing regeneration couldn’t keep up at all. Not only that, but her body was either giving up from exhaustion or blood loss. It was only during the last couple agents when Natasha had shown up and quickly killed the remainder. 
Y/n glanced at the assassin and noticed the lack of any injuries on her and it was as if she barely broke a sweat. “What happened? I almost got killed.” 
Natasha glared at Y/n as she responded with, “I helped Bucky and Rhodey on the way, they needed it.” Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat knowing the redhead in front of her had practically lied. If backup was needed, it was always voiced through comms. 
Even if Y/n had wanted to confront Natasha about it, she couldn’t. Natasha had already left to head to the quinjet. Y/n simply limped a couple feet from her. When Y/n arrived, it seemed that everyone else was already prepared for take off. Feeling ever more guilty, Y/n simply sat at the closet seat to the entrance that was away from the team. But something inside her broke even more noticing the lack of any questions or concerns from the team in regards to her injuries. 
Not even bothering to buckle up, Y/n sulked in her thoughts when she realized, “Why doesn’t anyone care about me?” 
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An imagine for adeuce please! They hang out someplace in their hometown during vacation but awkwardly run into crewel. I think treys family bakery would be a nice location but the setting is your choice in case you want to limit the dialogue and number of characters
Ps. I personally feel like the game needs more interactions between the students and teachers. Hopefully we can get more in the new event
Teacher-student interactions are so much fun! We definitely got more from Vargas Camp (which I’m really thankful for), and I hope we keep getting more!
So far, my favorite teacher-student dynamic has been Vargas and Azul. I’d feel bad for octoboi if I wasn’t laughing so hard at his flying fails--
I really liked this prompt, so I wrote more than my usual ~1000 word imagine; please enjoy!
***Mild spoilers for chapter 4!***
Imagine this...
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The Rose Kingdom was aptly named for the flowers that bloomed in nearly every corner of its land. In the summer time, they blossomed magnificently, perfuming the warm air with their heady aroma—but in the winter, those delicate rosebuds were banished by a spell of frost. Without fail, a great cold would wash over the region every year, casting their famous red flowers in a thick layer of white.
It was a pattern that the kingdom’s residents had long since grown accustomed to. This was, after all, their beloved home—amid the roses, frozen as they were.
“Oi, Deuce! Hurry it up, will you?!” Ace called, tossing an annoyed glance over his shoulder.
His friend—wearing so many layers that he resembled a moving blueberry more than a human—lagged several paces behind.
Deuce attempted to return the sass, but his words caught in the scarf bound tightly around his mouth, coming out muffled instead. The puffball on his winter hat furiously bobbed up and down, as though communicating his frustration for him.
“If we don’t pick up the pace, they’re gonna sell out of hot chocolate and fresh pastries!” Ace rushed back, grabbed Deuce by the arm, and tugged. “C’mon!! I thought you were in Track and Field Club or something—so let’s get moving!”
Deuce loosened his scarf with his free hand and, glaring at Ace, declared, “No way am I running with the roads this icy. That’s a recipe for disaster.”
“Hah? You serious? I already got wasted enough time waiting for you to dress in your 101 layers of coats,” Ace grumped, gesturing to Deuce’s ridiculous outfit. “It can’t hurt to be a little quicker about it.”
“Mom wanted me to stay warm,” Deuce countered stiffly. “I’m gonna respect that, no matter what.”
Ace rolled his eyes and waves dismissively. “Yeah, yeah, whatever—enough talk, we really gotta get going...!! I’ll be damned if I freeze out here.”
“The Clover Bakery isn’t that far from here, so we don’t need to rush.” Deuce indicated a warm building at the end of the block, which gave off delicious fumes—spun sugar, baked bread, and spices. “Slow and steady wins the race.”
Ace groaned loudly. At this rate, it would take all day for them to waddle on over. He was about to bury his head in his hands when an idea dawned on him.
A mean, but clever, idea.
“Betcha I could make it there faster than you,” Ace chirped, his voice casual.
“It’s not a competition,” Deuce reminded him sternly.
“No one said it was, dummy! I’m just saying I could definitely beat you at your own game.”
“Tough words for someone shaking like a leaf in the cold.”
“Oh yeah?” Ace’s grin was wicked. “Prove me wrong, then.”
“I don’’t have to prove anything. It’d be dangerous to run in this weather, anyway.”
“I bet it’s way more snowy in Pyroxene—and Jack’s probably totally fine with running through it!”
“That’s Jack, and this is me. I said I wasn’t going to rush things, and I meant it.”
“Yeah? Too bad~” The redhead gave an exaggerated sigh and a shrug. “Backing out, huh...? Oh well. Guess if you snooze, you lose...!!”
“Hey, I never said...” Deuce’s voice trailed off, for Ace had shoved by him, darting off in the direction of the bakery. “H-Hey...!! Ace...!! ACE!! GET BACK HERE!!”
He tore after his friend, shouting at him all the while—and Ace, with his (cheating) head start, only laughed in return. Deuce soon caught up (no thanks to his club conditioning), and they were neck-and-neck for first place.
Windchill, knives upon their faces. The biting cold seeped into their lungs, making it hurt to breathe as they hurtled toward their destination. Yet they sailed on, determined to outdo the other.
Both boys launched themselves at the bakery entrance, grasping the handle at the same time.
“EXCUSE US!!” Ace and Deuce yelled in unison, yanking open the door (struggling to cram through the doorway at the same time) and stumbling in.
They were greeted by a blast of warmth and the smells of sweet cakes and toasted breads. The employee manning the counter glanced up, startled at the duo’s sudden appearance. When he saw who it was that had barged in, he sighed and calmly readjusted his glasses.
He looked a little different than usual, wearing a white shirt with green plaid that showed off his broad shoulders. The sleeves were rolled up to reveal thick forearms forged from years of lifting flour sacks and kneading dough. A brown apron was slung over his attire, four-leafed clovers sewn on the pockets.
“If it isn’t Ace and Deuce. How are the two troublemakers of Heartslabyul doing?” Trey asked, his smile lopsided as his underclassmen approached.
“A-Are we really troublemakers in your eyes, Clover-senpai?!”
“I’m just kidding,” he reassured Deuce. “Well, you are troublemakers, but more for Riddle than for me.”
“Geez... thanks for the vote of confidence...” Ace grumbled, casting the third year a cheeky look. “Some senpai you are, huh?”
“Now, now... I’m allowed to have some fun, aren’t I? We’re all ‘off-duty’, so to speak.” Trey said light heartedly. “Anyway, what brings you guys to the Clover Bakery? I’m assuming you’re not dropping by just to say hello.”
“Hehe. Obviously we’re hungry, so we came by for some grub!” Ace held up his index finger. “One large hot chocolate, and a plate of assorted butter cookies for me!”
“I’m okay with a small spiced apple cider,” Deuce chimed in, “please and thank you.”
“Gotcha. I’ll get you your drinks in a bit,” Trey nodded, “but as for the butter cookies, I’m afraid I won’t be able to sell those to you.”
“Huh?” Ace’s face collapsed. “Why not?”
“We’ve only got a few dozen left, and they’re reserved for a client that preordered them. Sorry.” Trey pointed to a neatly wrapped box already set upon the counter, done up in a bright green bow.
Through the plastic window in the box, Ace could see that the cookies had been converted into little sandwiches. Each pair housed a generous dollop of cream, caramelized raisins threaded throughout it.
“What? Who needs that many butter cookies? And why are there gross raisins in them--“
The door to the bakery flung open, summoning a gale of cold once more. A bell suspended above jingled, ringing in a new customer.
“Ah, speak of deville the devil,” Trey said—while his underclassmen balked in terror.
There, in the doorway, was a tall man in black faux leather gloves and a voluminous fur coat—striped, black and white. Beneath that, he boasted a crimson turtle neck and a blazer, half solid white, the other half a black , checkerboard pattern. This, paired with his slicked back hair, steely eyes, and regal face, made him appear as though he had just strutted off the runway, were it not for the leashes he gripped.
Two Dalmatians—one in a blue coat, the other in a red one—stood alert by his feet. They caught Ace and Deuce’s eyes and barked in greeting, but the two boys were far too fixated on the Dalmatians’ owner to gush over dogs.
“Crewel...”
“... Sensei?”
Ace and Deuce glanced to one another, then back at their Alchemy teacher.
“C-CREWEL-SENSEI?!”
“Wh-What’re you doing here?!” Ace demanded, pointing an accusatory finger. “School’s out for winter break...!! You... You didn’t hunt us down to make us do our homework, did you?!”
Crewel snorted. “Spare me your theatrics, Trappola. Your instructors are granted a vacation for the duration of winter break as well. Were you not aware?”
“I-I knew that! I just didn’t know you lived in the Rose Kingdom, too!”
“I thought teachers lived at school...”
“... Seriously, Deuce?!”
“The more you know.” Crewel narrowed his eyes at Ace. “But speaking of homework, I trust you pups are keeping on top of your assignments? Being on break is no excuse to slack on your studies.”
“D-Duh! Of course I haven’t been slacking!” A lie, Ace grimaced, thinking to the piles of homework he had abandoned in his bedroom in favor of hanging out with friends. Whatever, he could just pester his brother for help later. “Right, Deuce? Back me up here!”
“I’ve been diligently studying and working on my homework bit by bit every day, Crewel-sensei!”
“... But have you done it accurately?” Crewel asked, raising an eyebrow. “Simply writing down an answer does not guarantee full marks, Spade.”
“... Errrrrr, okay, maybe I need to work on it a little more.”
“You’ve got your notes and a reliable Science Club member to count on for assistance,” Crewel quipped, gesturing to Trey with a gloved hand. “There is no excuse for why you should not do well. That goes for you as well, Trappola.”
“Y-Yessir!”
“Crewel-sensei, I think that’s enough interrogation,” Trey called, waving for him to come to the counter. Outwardly, he wore a smile, but inwardly, he sighed. For the love of the Great Seven, don’t offer my help for me. “Here, I have your order prepared--oh, but be sure to keep your dogs at the doorway. No pets allowed beyond a certain threshold for health and safety reasons.”
“I am aware, yes.” Crewel’s eyes passed over to the two scared stiff underclassmen. “... Trappola, Spade--come here. Do your professor a favor and tend to my Dalmatians for me.”
“What? You want us to watch your dogs?”
“I’ll do my best, Sensei!!”
“Don’t just blindly agree to it, Deuce!”
“It will only be for a moment,” Crewel insisted, shoving his leashes into Ace and Deuce’s hands. The boys fumbled, but held firm--the Dalmatians eagerly staring up at them.
“... Oi, don’t give me those looks,” Ace grumbled. “You’re... You’re too cute looking and innocent to be Crewel-sensei’s pets.”
The dog in the red coat gave a happy bark, as if pleased with the compliment. Its partner, in the blue coat, panted with delight as Deuce gave it a firm head pat.
Crewel received the box of raisin butter cookies--but allowed his eyes to quickly a scan the glass display case as he strode up. “Do you have dog treats in stock as well?”
“We do.”
“Then add two to my total, please--peanut butter flavor.”
“Alright, you’ve got it.” Trey ducked, retrieved a pair of tongs, and fished out two bone-shaped biscuits. He dropped them into a paper bag and handed them over to his teacher. “That’ll be--”
He was cut off by several bills being fanned out on the counter.
“I’ve ordered enough from your bakery to know the general prices,” Crewel smirked, tucking his wallet away into his massive fur coat. “If there is a discrepancy, you may keep the change.”
“Ah, thanks for that. Hope you and the dogs enjoy--” Trey paused, cut off this time by the sound of several small footsteps from the back room of the bakery. He groaned, already knowing what was coming. “Oh no...”
“Trey-nii!!” A chorus of high-pitched voices piped up, startling Ace and Deuce. “We heard bark-barks!! Did Mr. Fluffy Coat bring back his doggies?”
Three heads of green hair poked above the counter--just barely. One girl and two boys, probably elementary school age, all of them sharing Trey’s mustard yellow eyes.
“Guys, not now. Big bro’s busy with the customers,” Trey warned. He passed an apologetic look to his underclassmen and teacher. “Sorry, my siblings are excitable sometimes.”
“I wanna pet the doggies!”
“I wanna feed’m snackies!”
“I wanna dress them up!”
To the boys’ surprise, Crewel merely chuckled. “No worries. Fellow canine lovers are always welcome.”
“Mr. Fluffy Coat!! Can we feed your doggies?”
“Pretty please with candied violets on top!”
“Please, please, please!!”
Crewel barked with laughter. “Perhaps I can allow it, little ones--permitted that your brother grants his permission.”
All three Clover siblings looked expectantly at their eldest sibling.
Trey heaved a sigh. “... I guess I’ve got no choice. Go ahead.”
Excited squeals filled the interior of the bakery. The Clover siblings nearly tripped over themselves racing over to Crewel’s dogs (they nearly trampled Ace and Deuce’s feet, too).
“Hey, watch it! We’re the ones babysitting these dogs, not you!” Ace cried as the kids descended on the Dalmatians. I’ve only had these dogs for five minutes but if anything happened to them, I’d kill everyone here and then--
“We can share, Ace!”
“Spade is correct. There is plenty of the pups to go around,” Crewel interjected. He produced two dog treats and broke them into smaller pieces, offering them to Ace, Deuce, and the Clover siblings. “Go on, then. One for each of you to feed them.”
The Clovers cheered and eagerly claimed their pieces, holding them out and allowing each Dalmatian to sniff and lick the treats straight out of their palms. As soon as the food was slurped up, the Clovers proceeded to vigorously pet the pups. But the first years hesitated.
“You’re... being awfully nice,” Ace noted, eying him suspiciously. “Are you gonna spring a pop quiz on us as soon as I take the treat?”
“Keep biting the hand that feeds you, and I just might consider it,” Crewel warned with a dark smirk.
“W-We’ll take the treats!” Deuce snatched up two pieces, shoving one into Ace’s hands. “Come on, let’s not worry too much. We’re on winter break, after all. Let’s just relax while we still can.”
“You’re right, you’re right! Let’s not sweat it!”
They exchanged a brief laugh before kneeling and offering up their own dog treat pieces to the Dalmatians. Just as the dogs’ sloppy, wet tongues connected with the boys’ hands, their cell phones went off.
“... Huh? Did you just get a text, Deuce?”
“I think I did. I heard your phone ping too, though. Did you get a text too?”
“I can check. One sec...” With his free hand, Ace fished his phone out of his coat pocket and consulted it. He immediately paled. “Oh, shit.”
(“Hey, language!” Trey shouted--but his protest seemingly went ignored.)
“What’s wrong?” Deuce asked, frowning.
“Check your phone. Check it right now.”
“Is it something seri...” Deuce’s face dropped as soon as he looked at his messages. “Fuck.”
(“I said, language!” Trey tried again, only to be snubbed a second time.)
The distressing text they had received?
SOS SEND HE LP STRAND ED D IN SCAR ABIA CANT GET OUT - Yuu, Grim
Ace and Deuce abruptly stood and bolted toward the exit, much to everyone’s surprise. They paid no mind to the concerned shouts of Trey, nor Crewel, or to the excited barks of Dalmatians no longer held by leashes.
All that remained of where the duo once stood were soggy, half-finished peanut butter dog treats.
263 notes · View notes
drwcn · 3 years
Text
《Without Envy》- concubine/sleeper agent!wwx & prince!lwj
[story board 1]  [story board 2]  [story board 3]  [story board 4]  [story board 5]  [story board 6]
snippets (non-chrono): [1]
snippet #2  →
Wei Wuxian was absolutely rubbish at being a servant, anyone could tell you that. Without mentioning that he was the antithesis of subservient, just the manner in which he was raised did not prepare him for the bullshit of becoming Lan Wangji’s personal attendant. 
Wen Ruohan fed him, clothed him, taught him and trained him, but no skills that was imbued into his young mind had anything to do with waiting at another’s hand and foot. Wen Ruohan had high expectations and accepted nothing short of perfection which Wei Wuxian delivered on all fronts, but at the end of the day, there were servants tending to Wei Wuxian at Nevernight. His maids tidied his room, his footmen delivered his messages, and Nevernight’s cooks were charmed and bribed into preparing his favourite dishes. 
Even at Jiang-fu, after he cheated and lied and manipulated his way past their defenses, he was quickly embraced by the inner family. Well... okay, Madam Yu was still a little frosty, but she gave him a red-pouch filled with silver coins at New Year, so he’d say he had made significant progress.
Long story short: Wei Wuxian may not be a prince, but he certainly was no street rat.
So, this getting up at the ass crack of dawn business was definitely going to be a problem
Though, never let it be said that he, Wei Ying, Wei Wuxian, shirked from a challenge. Since he entered Hanguang-fu, he had been planning to make an impression on Lan Wangji, and what an impression it would be if he could meet Lan Wangji’s every need on the very first day. 
Thus, Wei Wuxian planned, he plotted, he delineated a plan that was foolproof. He had whipped up a modified time tracker that made use of the normal sand mechanism and added an additional function which would trickle a bell when the sand ran out. 
Lan Wangji liked to take a morning bath, according to the servants. Wei Wuxian aimed to rise early enough to heat the bath, prep Lan Wangji’s court robes and have his breakfast waiting on the table by the time the man was cleaned and dressed. Yes... all of this would work out swimmingly. 
 Except of course, Wei Wuxian did not anticipate that Lan Wangji was a complete freak of nature. 
In the courtyard outside of his bedchamber, half hidden in the silent greyness of the moments before dawn, Lan Wangji wielded his bichen through a series of  formations. 
Wei Wuxian stumbled at the round archway, freezing in surprise at seeing his mark already awake. He didn’t like being caught off guard; it didn’t make for a very long lifespan as a spy. 
Lan Wangji was dressed down in only a course white linen robe and grey trousers. Wei Wuxian watched him carefully, observing his movements as he swept across the courtyard, rapid and fluid, like torrents over rocky river beds. 
Perfectly balanced. Impressive. Silent and still, he stood on the sideline, analyzing the prince’s footwork, taking apart his idiosyncrasies,  and memorizing his signature. Unlike so many of their contemporaries whose swordsmanship was more flashy than functional, Wei Wuxian could tell that Gusu’s Hanguang-wang trained to win, to disarm, to kill. 
Lan Wangji...what an opponent you will be. He hid a smirk. Suibian was tucked away in a compartment beneath his floorboard, and a wild part of him itched to take it out and try it on his mark. Lan Wangji would not be an easy foe to defeat, but Wei Wuxian did not care about that; his heart picked up speed just imagining it. 
It helped that Lan Wangji was also undeniably beautiful. 
One day, your Bichen will have to contend with my Suibian - 
OW!
A sudden smack up the back of his head broke Wei Wuxian out of his ruminations. The sudden assault triggered the defensive part of his psyche, which at its core was that of an assassin, and he whipped around in a split second, without taking care to guard his expression. 
Yue-gongong, Lan Wangji’s eunuch and the second superintendent of the prince’s court jolted in surprise, taken aback by the hardness in this servant boy’s face and the heat in his eyes.    
Realizing his slip up, Wei Wuxian immediately slapped on a sheepish smile. “Ah, Yue-gongong, you scared me, haha! I - I -” 
“You lazy ox!’ Easily fooled, the eunuch immediately went back to berating him angrily. “Waking up so late and leaving dianxia without anyone to aid him! Heaven knows why dianxia would favour you to be his attendant!” 
He smacked Wei Wuxian twice with handle-end of the horsetail whisk that high-ranking eunuchs carried. 
When the time comes, I’m gutting you first. Thought Wei Wuxian as he shrank back pitifully in accordance with his continued pretense of being a helpless twink. 
“Yue-gongong.” Lan Wangji’s smooth baritone voice cut through the eunuch’s banshi-esque screech. “That’s enough. It’s Wei Ying’s first day. Do not blame him.” 
Yue-gonggong shot Wei Wuxian one last glare and backed off. “Yes dianxia.” 
“You’re dismissed for now.”  “Yes dianxia.” The eunuch bowed and retreated back to his duties elsehwere.
Wei Wuxian quickly got on his knees and thanked Lan Wangji, “Dianxia, A-Xian - uhm, Wei Ying - Wei Ying apologizes for being tardy. I will go boil water for your bath right away!” 
“No need,” replied Lan Wangji. “I take my morning baths cold.” 
Cold....bath??? Is this another weird Lan practice? 
Growing up under Wen Ruohan’s guidance, Wei Wuxian was raised to think that Gusu Lans were a sentimental bunch, too emotional to be fit for ruling because they could not put the needs of the country before their own. Wei Wuxian knew of the reputation of Gusu’a previous emperor, Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji’s father, who still lived yet had shirked from his responsibility to the throne. He was not the only emperor in history to have lost a dear love, but the the death of his empress had caused him to lose all motivation for ruling, the duty of which he had pushed onto his oldest son. 
Perhaps if Wei Wuxian had been raised by Jiang Fengmian, he would appreciate the depth of taishang-huang’s love for his empress, but the current Wei Wuxian, trained and molded by Wen Ruohan, could not muster up any respect this sentimental fool. A part of him had hoped that Lan Xichen would be different, that he could show Wen Ruohan he was a worthy equal, that Wen Ruohan’s ambition could be culled if only Gusu’s Emperor was just as strong...
 ...but Lan Xichen was just as weak; refusing to provide heirs for the crown after Nie Mingjue passed. 
“Come, stand.” A shadow appeared over him. Wei Wuxian slowly raised his head to see Lan Wangji standing before him with an outstretched hand. “Rise, Wei Ying.”  
Wei Wuxian stared at that outstretched hand, calloused along the palm and along the finger tips: the hand of a musician and a warrior. How strange indeed. Yet, when he dared reach out to it with one of his own and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, he found that Lan Wangji’s grip was warm and gentle. 
Sentimentality is the death of power. 
He swallowed despite himself. 
“Thank you, dianxia.”
“Mn.”
Wei Wuxian didn’t particularly enjoy being a spy, but Wen Ruohan was like a father to him, and he believed in him and in the better future that Wen Ruohan could provide to Gusu if he were to rule.
Wei Wuxian didn’t know it then, but slowly, he would be proven wrong.
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alt-rose · 3 years
Text
waste love - colson baker
colson baker imagine
waste love - you’re in a bad relationship, and your ex, colson, is there for you. 
word count: 5.9K (tis a lot)
WARNINGS: domestic abuse (lowkey kinda graphic), f-bombs?
please don’t read if this is a trigger in anyway, shape, or form for you. 
Tumblr media
long story short, your boyfriend was kind of a dick. everyone knew that. your friend and co-worker, Pete had told you multiple times that your boyfriend Trevor was a pretentious asshole. even your ex, Colson, disliked him, but he honestly disliked everyone you dated.
you had called it quits with Colson right before Eminem’s Kamikaze came for him. you blamed it on lifestyle differences, but in the end, you couldn’t handle him getting wasted every night. you told him that you felt like he was constantly choosing drugs and booze over you, and looking back on it, Colson had to admit that you were right. you had a right to end it, but that didn’t dismiss the feelings you felt for each other.
for Pete’s sake, you and Colson remained friends. together, the two of you helped Pete through his breakup with AG and his struggle with his mental health. however, your friendship began to dwindle after a few months. the guys started to notice you slipping away from them when you started dating Trevor.
Trevor was appealing at first. he had a stable job as a manager for a production company. he stayed out of the party scene for the most part. at the beginning of your relationship, you felt like coming home to him was a break from the world. with your busy career as a cast member on SNL, you worked long and late hours, leaving you with two options: you could let yourself fall prey to the temptations that the New York nightlife had to offer, or you could go home. you tended to choose the latter and having someone to go home to made things less lonely.
by the third month, things had taken a turn. you had pulled away from your friendships, turning down opportunities to go out with them during the week. Trevor didn’t like you going out without him. you stopped talking to Pete and Colson for the most part, but you still saw Pete at work. Trevor didn’t like you hanging out with them. it even got to the point that Trevor didn’t like you talking about them so for your sake, you cut them out of your life.
for Colson and Pete, it was a blow. they missed you, and over the course of your relationship, they watched you change. the style of clothes you wore had changed. you traded in your mini skirts for jeans or loose-fitting pants; your dresses were more modest, always covering your arms and shoulders. you started wearing more jackets and turtlenecks. your skin was always covered, which is not to say that you walked around practically naked before. you were just less daring with your clothing choices now. even your makeup had changed. you were like a reformed version of yourself, looking more reserved compared to your usually expressive self.
unknown to them, you had something to hide. the jackets and turtlenecks weren’t because you were ‘always so cold’ like you’d tell people when they asked. you stopped with your makeup because you already spent so much time covering up bruises in the morning that you would run out of time to do anything else.
Trevor not only was possessive and controlling, but he also had a temper. it wasn’t that bad at first. it started with the comments. he’d comment on your hair. he’d comment on your makeup and clothes. you brushed them off at first because you were an independent woman who could look how ever she wanted to look. the comments were then accompanied by cheap insults taking shots at your insecurities. your tough exterior began to crumble at that when you began to doubt your looks and appearance. your confidence had faded. the last straw was when he had yelled at you for the first time. you were going to a banquet for his work, and he screamed at you for the dress you had chosen to wear, it was just a simple black dress that you thought was a safe option. he thought otherwise. he said you looked ridiculous, pointing out that it made your arms look flabby and that it gave you back fat. you offered to change, but he screamed at your even more, telling you that you were already running late so you would just have to go in what you were wearing. you cried to yourself in the bathroom as you struggled to fix your makeup.
ever since then, you made changes to your appearance because he was right. you started dieting. you stopped wearing your fun and creative makeup because Trevor said you looked childish. you started dressing tamer, only in sweaters and jeans. your spirit was dwindling away.
the first time he hit you was after the Tuesday night host dinner had run late. you were out later than you usually were, and Trevor had accused you of cheating on him. you of course yelled back at him, defending yourself. he responded by swiftly smacking your head into your pantry door and calling you a “lying bitch.” your head rung, and you pulled yourself away from him. you kicked him out that night, only for him to come crawling back to you in the morning with flowers and an apology. he seemed sincere so you accepted the apology, and he told you that he loved you.
the vicious cycle repeated for months. you’d be all lovey-dovey. you were happy, and he was kind. then, something would happen, most likely something small or insignificant that would set him off. then, he’d be angry. you’d fight. he would hit you. you would kick him out, or he would quickly apologize. then, you were in this weird period of walking on eggshells around him while he acted like nothing happened. then, he would do something sweet for you, like buying you a pretty piece of jewelry or making you a fancy dinner. then, you’d be the lovey-dovey couple that you were.
the things that set Trevor off the most was when you would support your friends. Pete had his movies out, and you wanted to watch them to support him. Trevor had caught you watching The Dirt, the movie that sparked Pete and Colson’s friendship, after it had been released to Netflix. Trevor was pissed. he claimed that you were still harboring feelings for you ex. you had argued that you no longer had feelings for the rapper/actor, but Trevor didn’t believe you. in his anger, he ripped the remote from your hand and had thrown it into your TV, shattering it in the process. the next morning, he took you out to buy a new TV, letting you pick it out so he could pay for it. you had learned your lesson from that one. you couldn’t have anything to do with Colson.
the summer was rough for your relationship with Trevor. without the stable routine that you had established with him when you were working at SNL, he began to spiral out of control. now that you were working on two films and couldn’t be in the city all the time, Trevor began to lash out at you to gain some sense of control over you. he grew violent and possessive, and you were grateful when you could travel without him.
at some point, you had ended up at Colson’s album party for Hotel Diablo. you had spent the night out with your friends, finally getting to party with Pete and Colson after months of never getting to see much of them. as strange as it may seem, the man of the hour had himself glued to your side the entire night. he brought you drinks and followed you around instead of celebrating with all of his friends. he danced with you like he had on your 21st birthday, the night that had started your relationship with him. later into the night, he sat with you as you lounged on one of the pool chairs in the backyard of the house that you were partying at. you started making smile conversation with him, now that you could hear yourself think.
             “how are things?” you asked staring up at the sky.
             “getting better, I guess,” Colson responded.
that night he told you about his dad’s prognosis, and you held his hand as you listened to him talk. he listened to you gush about the projects you were working on, and you listened to him go on and on about how proud he was of Casie. you laughed as he told you stories about the things he and his bandmates had done.
by the end of the night, it was safe to say that you didn’t regret going to that party. you didn’t think of Trevor once the entire night, and you felt free. however, problems started to arise once the party had ended. Colson had offered to drive you back to your hotel since he didn’t feel comfortable sending you off in an uber by yourself. you let him take you since he was sober. the two of you had stopped drinking about an hour into the party, and it was about 4 in the morning now.
Colson had his hand on your shoulder as he led you to his purple Aston Martin. you covered eyes as cameras flashed as the two of you left the party. the paparazzi had found you.
Colson quickly opened the passenger door for you, blocking the paparazzi’s view of you as you slid into his car. once you were safely seated inside, Colson closed your door before quickly making it to the driver’s side. he chuckled as he watched you turn on your heated seat and plug your phone into the aux, just like you had done when the two of you were dating.
when the two of you arrived at your hotel, Colson took your hand in his.
             “I’m glad you came,” he softly told you before placing his lips delicately on the back of your hand, a gesture that was foreign to you after the past few months.
             “I’m glad I came too,” you whispered to him.
your faces were so close together that if you took a deep breath, your lips would be pressed against his. part of you wanted to kiss him, and part of him wanted to kiss you. however, you pulled away before you could. you weren’t a cheater.
             “promise me you’ll take care of yourself?” his eyes softly gazed over your features.
he could tell that you were wasting away. despite your carefree attitude tonight, he knew that you had changed. your independent, badass attitude had diminished over time, and he only hoped that you would take care of yourself so you could return to the girl that he used to know.
you only gave him a nod before turning your eyes away from him. turning the conversation back on him, you squeezed his hand.
             “I’m really proud of you, Cols,” you smiled to him. “I can’t wait to hear your album.”
he murmured a response to you before placing another kiss on the back of your hand. with that, you had pulled yourself from his car, giving him a small wave as you entered through the glass doors of your hotel.
--
the next morning, you were on a plane heading back to New York. even though you were broken up and you were with someone else, the pain of missing Colson was still there. it was like something deep in your soul was crying out for him.
this trip was a breath of fresh air for you, and you had clarity now. deep down, you knew one thing to be true: you would rather have a little bit of Colson in your life than not have him at all. you didn’t realize how bad your situation was back in New York until you had an outside perspective. with Colson, you had people who loved you for who you were. no one tried to change you. no one tried to tell you what to do. they accepted you for the person you were, and they loved you unconditionally.
you needed those people in your life. Trevor, you realized, was not one of those people. he had done nothing but feed you lies about yourself that made you doubt your self-worth. he never treated you with respect, and every time he told you that he loved was like a punch in the face. it hurt worse than the ones with his fist.
stepping off the airplane in New York, you knew what you had to do. you had to breakup with him, and if you managed to survive, you promised yourself that you would never let yourself fall prey to a man like that ever again.
with your luggage in hand, you made your way to the pickup line, where Trevor was waiting for you. he insisted that he would pick you up, even though you told him that you could just take a cab.
             “hi,” you smiled to him after you placed you bags in the trunk.
he only gave you a nod of acknowledgement as you closed your door. the air felt thick. your smile faltered the longer you stared at him. you watched his movements carefully. he roughly turned the keys, starting the car. his knuckles were white as they gripped the steering wheel. his other hand picked at his lips. he did that when he was pissed, and it put you on edge.
he began to drive, only addressing you once you were stopped at a red light.
             “how was the party?”
your blood ran cold. how did he know?
             “what party?” you laughed lightly, trying to brush him off.
             “DON’T.” he slammed his hands on the top of the steering wheel before looking over at you. “DON’T FUCKING play dumb with me. I saw the pictures. did you fuck him? did you let him fuck you?”
             “NO,” you shouted back at him.
his fist slammed your head into the cool glass of the window. your head rung as tears prickled in your eyes.
             “you’re such a bitch, you know that?”
you watched the road in front of you. the light turned green. the lights around you blurred, and you let your head rest against the window. the tears ran down your face.
you said no word to Trevor when you arrived at your building. you grabbed your bag and quickly made your way into the building. Trevor quickly caught up with you, roughly placing a hand on your arm.
as you stepped off the elevator, you ripped yourself from his arm before making it to your front door. before you could unlock it, Trevor had you pinned with his hand secured tightly around your neck.
your eyes bulged as you gasped for breath. you began to kick at him, until he let you go. you stumbled into your apartment getting as far away from him as possible.
             “I want to breakup,” you rasped holding your throat.
             “why? because you love him more than you love me?” Trevor laughed throwing his keys on your counter.
             “no, you’re a monster.”
he seethed as he moved to close the gap between the two of you. he roughly snatched you by your arms pulling you close.
             “you are not leaving me,” he growled. “you’re mine.”
             “I am not yours,” you grunted out as you struggled to pull away from him.
with all of his force, Trevor tossed you to the floor. your shoulder slammed into the floor as you landed on your arm funny. pain began to splinter from your shoulder before echoing throughout your body. you moved to sit up, clutching your arm, as his boot collided with your ribs.
you gasped for air. your lungs burned. you took blow after blow, barely listening to the cruel words he shouted at you.
once he finally thought you were down, he turned his back to you. you had somehow managed to pull yourself up from the floor, swiping the bat that you kept hidden under your couch. with your weak arm, you swung at him, only landing a small blow to his back. he stumbled before taking you by your throat and shoving you into the fish tank on the small cabinet you kept in the hallway.
you heard the glass crank from the force of your body. Trevor had thrown you to the floor, and the fish tank came crashing down on top of you. you laid on the floor, covered in glass and dirty fish water. you watched Trevor’s boots as they made their way to the door. he spit in your direction before calling you a slut. the door slammed shut behind him.
your vision began to blur as you watched your beloved fish, the two angelfish that Colson and Pete had bought you, begging you to name them both after them, flop against your hardwood floor.
--
you opened your eyes, wincing at the brightness of your kitchen light. you were disoriented. you felt a buzzing in your pocket. gently moving your arm, you pulled your phone from your pocket.
Pete’s contact picture flashed across your screen, announcing an incoming call from him. you accepted the call before moving the phone to your ear.
             “hey girl,” you heard Pete’s voice flood through your phone. “whaddup?”
Pete could hear your raspy, heavy breathing coming through the phone. whatever he was planning on talking to you about was long forgotten now.
             “(y/n/n), are you okay? what’s wrong?” Pete gently asked through the phone.
his heart beat loudly in your chest as he heard your sobs.
             “I’m sorry,” you whispered to him. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
             “(y/n), what did you do?” Pete began to scramble out of bed, looking for the spare apartment key you gave him. “where are you?”
             “I’m at my apartment. I love you, Pete.” your speech was slurring. “tell Cols. tell him too.”
Pete called your name through the phone waiting for you response, but he was met with none. he called 911 as he ran from his apartment, catching a cab to your building.
the police had made it there before he had. damn, traffic. he stood at your apartment door as he watched the paramedics set you on a stretcher. you had an oxygen mask placed over your mouth and nose, and a paramedic began to tie a tourniquet around your thigh, above the shard of glass that impaled you when the fish tank fell.
as they rolled you out, Pete followed, holding the hand on your bad arm. your eyes found his face as the paramedics took you into the elevator.
             “Pete,” you sighed, moving the oxygen mask away from you with your good arm.
             “I’m here,” he nodded to you, stroking your wet hair. “who did this?”
you barely whispered Trevor’s name before you blacked out once more.
the second time you woke up, you were laying in a hospital bed. your body burned from the pain. your head buzzed. your neck was stiff. your lungs burned as you tried to breathe. your leg throbbed, and a shooting pain erupted from your shoulder. it took you a moment to focus your eyes, but you found your parents sitting in your room with you.
Pete had called them after the doctors rushed you into surgery for your shoulder. he also called the Mulaney’s, who had become your second set of parents. they were someone for you to rely on while you lived in New York City all alone. you could call them at any hour, and John and Anna would be at your beck and call, whether it was shopping for furniture or getting dinner. Pete felt like they would want to know.
he contemplated calling Colson, but today was his album release. Pete knew that part of you would be angry at him for bothering Colson, but he also knew that Colson would be even more upset with him if he didn’t call him. So, Pete made the call, only after you were out of surgery. your parents had arrived about a half an hour after your surgery had ended, and Colson was doing everything he could to get to New York.
you were kept overnight, but they planned on releasing you the next evening, making sure that nothing ended up infected and that your pain was manageable. your parents were out cold on the couch in your room. Pete occupied the chair next to your bed. your parents lied to the hospital staff, telling them that Pete was your brother. you could tell that the nurses didn’t believe them for a second, but no one wanted to argue with them. Pete was grateful that they let him stay, even after visiting hours had ended. after the state he saw you in just a few hours before, he didn’t feel comfortable leaving you.
from your spot in your bed, you watched Pete as he attempted to dose off with his head hanging awkwardly over the back of the chair. you saw his eyes pop open as if he could feel you staring at him.
             “hey,” he whispered sitting up and stretching his neck out. “how long have you been awake?”
             “not sure,” you whispered back as you picked at the hem of the thin hospital sheets you were given.
             “what are you thinking about?” he asked leaning forward to rest his folded hands on your bed.
he could tell that you were deep in thought.
             “I’m think about a restraining order.”
Pete gave you a small laugh.
             “after the amount of evidence, the police gather from your apartment, he might even do a bit of time.”
             “I don’t really care if he does time. I just want him gone, and I want him to pay for the stuff he broke,” you told him, moving your eyes away from the frayed hem in front of you.
             “he will. (y/n/n) will get him to pay for all of it.”
he gently patted the top of your hand resting on the pillow the nurses placed it on to help your shoulder heal. taking a moment to flick through the tv, you grew frustrated before landing on an old concert playing on one of the channels.
             “have you listened to it?” you asked turning to Pete.
             “listened to what?” Pete asked glancing over at you.
             “Cols’ album.”
             “Ah, yeah,” Pete sighed sitting back in his chair. “it’s a banger.”
             “he did good?”
             “fuck yeah, Colson always does good.”
             “good,” you sighed leaning your head back on the mountain of pillows.
             “have you not listened to it yet?”
you shook your head.
             “from the flight and Trevor, I didn’t get a chance.”
             “I can play it for you,” Pete said sitting back up. “do you want me to grab some headphones or something?”
             “no,” you said stretching your fingers out to stop him. “you can just play it out loud. I don’t want to listen to it alone.”
with that, Pete opened his phone before setting it on the table by the side of your bed. he hit play on the first track, adjusting the volume so that it was loud enough to listen to without bothering your sleeping parents.
you closed your eyes, letting the music surround you. you listened to the powerful lyrics in el Diablo and Hollywood Whore, taking in the struggles he had to face after the hate that came for him.
the opening to Glass House had tears prickling your eyes. you squeezed Pete’s hand as Colson sang the part about Nipsey and him. the first set of tears had slipped from your eyes. the tears were falling freely from your eyes when Colson sang about Peep, Mac, and Chester. you could feel his pain through the words he spoke. in this piece, he was completely vulnerable, open, sharing the darkness in his life and the loneliness he felt.
             “I didn't sign up to be the hero but I don't want to wind up a villain. I put my daughter to bed then attempted to kill myself in the kitchen. Yeah, I should've screamed, but nobody listened. So I passed out with the blood dripping. In this glass house, feeling like a prison.”
your breath hitched in your throat. Pete squeezed your hand before pressing his forehead to your head. you let out a few quiet sobs. the emotions from the day were crashing down on you. you were exhausted. you were fucking terrified, and you wanted nothing more than to call Colson. you wanted to hear his voice. you wanted to know that he was okay, even though you had seen him just the night before.
             “I think we should stop,” Pete whispered gently to you as you broke down.
             “no,” you told him. your voice thick with tears. “I want to keep listening.”
             “okay, okay,” he whispered, stroking your hair.
the two of you listened to Burning Memories, your heart clenched at the words he sang about his mother. A Message from the Count caught you by surprise, and you and Pete laughed gently at him and Colson messing around. the break from the heavy stuff was much needed, and your spirits were slightly better. you nodded along to Floor 13. you felt like the song was an appropriate response to the hate he received after Killshot, and you were proud of him for it. a small smile appeared on your face as you heard Casie’s outro for the song.
somewhere in the middle of the Truck Norris interlude, your parents had woken up. they gave you and Pete weird looks as they saw the position the two of you were in. Pete was awkwardly hunched over, resting his head against yours as the two of you bobbed along to Hotel Diablo.
Death in My Pocket had you in tears again. the rawness of the lyrics made your heart clench. you could feel his sadness through the lyrics about his aunt, father, and his relationship with his father. it reminded you of the conversation the two of you had the other night by the pool.
Candy was a bop to say the least, and you knew that that was going to be a fun song to perform. part of you couldn’t wait to see Colson perform on tour, but you knew that you should probably keep your distance from him for now.
Waste Love was another one that surprised you. the lyrics echoed your breakup from almost a year ago. you moved your head away from Pete, looking at him from your peripheral. your reaction had Pete lightly laughing.
             “I knew it,” he nodded at you.
             “shut up,” you whispered back at him.
your mom shot her head up at the two of you quietly bickering.
             “what?” she asked, causing the two of you to snap your heads in her direction.
             “NOTHING.”
--
Sunday afternoon, you sat on the edge of your hospital bed. the nurses helped you and your mom as your mom tried to help you get dressed. now, you sat with your hair pulled back loosely in a scrunchie, wearing a very large pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt that Pete had snagged from his apartment earlier that morning. your arm rested in a sling since you ended up dislocating your shoulder. your thigh was wrapped up, but you could still manage to limp on it. those were your two major injuries. other than that, you only had a few cuts and bruises.
the police had arrested Trevor last night, and as far as you knew, he was still locked up. you were relieved that you didn’t have to worry about him anymore.
now, you were waiting to be discharged so that you could go back to your apartment.
             “ready to go?” your dad asked extending a hand to help you into the wheelchair.
you nodded to him, and with that, a nurse wheeled you to the exit with Pete and your parents following behind. your dad ran to get the rental car that your parents had picked up that morning. they didn’t really want to take a cab back to your apartment.
when you got back to your building, you closed your eyes as your rode up the elevator. you had been silent the whole ride home, listening to your parents and Pete’s conversation. Pete and your dad held you under your arms to support you, so you didn’t have to put all of your weight on your bad leg. they helped you hobble to your door as your mom unlocked it.
inside you could hear the hum of one of your records playing on your record player. your mom set the keys in the bowl by the door as you unlatched yourself from your dad and Pete.
on the kitchen counter, you saw a bouquet of yellow roses sitting amongst a bunch of shattered glass. on the floor, you saw the water stain from your fish tank mixed with your blood stain. your eyes flicker with tears.
             “shit, I’m sorry,” you heard a voice from the sink in your kitchen. “I meant to cover that up before you got back. I talked to your landlord. he’s got a guy to fix that.”
standing in front of you was one of the only people you wanted to see. your 6-foot-4 blond giant friend. he had gloves covering his hands, and a bucket was filling in your sink.
hobbling forward, you pressed your head into his chest as you balled your good fist into the fabric of his black t-shirt. you could hear Colson take the gloves off before he wrapped his arms around you. you sobbed into his chest as he lightly stroked your back.
Colson gave Pete and your parents a look. they gave him a small smile, and your mom mumbled something about finishing cleaning up. around you, your dad took the bucket from the sink before moving it to clean your blood from the floor. your mom vacuumed your couch cushions to make sure there was no glass left behind. Pete pulled out a bottle of febreze to mask the scent of your dead fish.
you pulled yourself from Colson to laugh lightly at Pete. Colson gently wiped the tears from your face.
             “where are my fish?” you ask him softly.
             “they were too big to flush down the toilet, so I have them sealed in a zip lock bag for now,” he said gently. “figured you might want to do the honors.”
             “thank you,” you murmured to him before hugging him once more. “your album is really fucking good.”
you could feel him lightly laugh as he wrapped his arms around you again.
             “glad you liked it,” he murmured into your hair. his hands traveled up your back to cup your cheeks. “why are you crying?”
             “I don’t know,” you laugh using your good hand to wipe away your tears. “thank you for being here.”
             “always,” he smiled at you. “come on, I cleaned up your room. let’s get you off your leg.”
Colson helped you hobble to your room, helping you take your sling off before you laid down. he situated you on your pillows, propping your shoulder up and apologizing as you winced. he set your laptop up for you, giving you your headphones. he sat with you while you weakly scrolled through Netflix before finding the movie you wanted. The Dirt.
             “you suck,” Colson smiled at you, causing you to laugh.
             “I haven’t seen it yet. cut me a break.”
             “alright, alright.”
he pulled himself up from your bed, placing your favorite blanket over you. as he moved to leave your room, you reached your good arm out to grab his hand. with your hand wrapped around his fingers, he turned back to you.
             “did you write that song about me?” you ask him softly. your voice was so quiet that he almost missed what you said.
Colson gave you a small smile before raising your hand to his lip, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.
             “of course, it’s about you.”
             “did you mean it?” you stared into his bright blue eyes, searching for an answer. “did you mean what you said?”
             “(y/n), I will always mean it, and I know now is not the time to tell you this,” he paused to sigh. “I never stopped loving you, and I will probably always love you. and, I know I fucked up. I fucked up our relationship. I wasn’t around, and I was always wasted. and, I am so sorry for that. you deserved better than that, and I’m getting better. and, when you’re ready, I want to talk about us because I don’t want to live without you anymore. this year sucked without you by my side, and I don’t want that anymore. I want you in my life, and I don’t care how long it takes for you to get there. I will always be here, waiting for you.”
you had tears streaming down your cheeks. he sat back on the bed to wipe away your tears.
             “you kinda suck,” you laugh as you used your good hand to wipe your eyes.
             “I’m sorry,” he sighed avoiding your gaze.
             “I missed you too, Col,” you said reaching up to trace his cheek. “it’s gonna take me sometime to get there because I want to get over this mess before I jump into something else, but I feel the same way. I don’t want to live without you in my life anymore.”
Colson smiled at you before moving to kiss you on your forehead. a knock on your door pulled you out of your little moment. Pete stood in your doorway with his jacket on.
             “hey, Colson,” Pete began, causing Colson to turn toward his buddy. “we gotta go now if we are going to make the store.”
             “okay, I’ll be there in a second,” he nodded to Pete as he got up from your bed once more.
             “where are you going?” you asked him still holding his hand.
             “we’re going to go get you a new tank. tomorrow, we’ll go get some new fish for you,” Colson said.
             “but, you can’t just buy a tank-”
             “I know,” he smiled back at you. “your dad made Pete and I a list. enjoy your movie.” he winked at you, closing the door lightly behind him.
--
the next morning, you stood in Randy’s Pet Shop with Colson and Pete, staring up at the multiple tanks of fish in front of you. like little kids in the candy store, the two of them made sure to pick out the craziest looking fish for your tank, begging you to let them name them. you of course agree, and the three of you left the store with Kevin and Barracuda, your new gold and blue gourami fish.  
you knew that it was going to be a while until you were going to be okay again, but at least you had the guys in your corner. no matter how far you strayed from them, they were always there for you, and you were forever grateful for that.
life could only go up from here.
.
.
.
i know this was a bit darker than usual. feel free to send requests - rose xx
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aiden21 · 3 years
Text
Video Games. Spinner x gn!Reader
Word count: 3.5k+
Slow days were a common occurrence for the League. Flashy, grand missions didn’t come by easily and most of the time the bar was empty except for Kurogiri. Most members of the League had homes—or at least places where they could sleep—and so, when Shigaraki dismissed everyone, most people just up and left the place. You were not one of those people.
Having lived under a bridge before joining the team of villains, the bar was the only place you truly had. Your possessions consisted of the clothes on your back and the small bed in one of the rooms upstairs, and that was it. You were thankful, always had been, that Shigaraki had been gracious enough to give you a place to stay, but that didn’t mean you didn’t get bored all by your lonesome from time to time.
You sighed, sinking deeper into the couch. The bar was deserted, Kurogiri having left with Shigaraki to meet with some person of interest, and the silence was pressing down upon you like a weighted blanket. You stared at the door longingly, putting all your mental strength into willing someone to open the door and join you. But if the past hour after returning from the store had taught you anything, your mental powers were absolute shit, and you were doomed to spend the rest of the day by yourself.
You knew a few people had some things strewn around the place, but nothing had truly caught your eye. No one read books that you found interesting, no one was childish enough to leave a board game lying around, and you valued your life enough to know that using the small handheld PSP that belonged to Shigaraki was out of bounds. You changed the channel on the TV once more, huffing in annoyance. God, you were so bored.
You glanced over at the clock on the wall, grunting when you realized it was only 4 in the afternoon.
“Screw it, I’m taking a nap.” You finally told yourself, shutting off the TV and getting up from the couch. You weren’t tired or sleepy, not even a little, but you figured that trying to rest a little was your best option at the moment. You dragged your feet up the stairs, already wrapping your mind around the fact that today would just be a very slow day and cursing yourself for not having a phone or a laptop or something to keep you entertained. But alas, you mourned as you reached for the doorknob of your room, you had no money of your own and you knew nothing about using technology in general.
“Goddammit!”
You stopped, your hand outstretched still. The voice had come from the end of the hallway and you were sure you weren’t imagining it. Was it a voice you recognized? Oh, who cares, you told yourself. You’d take a police officer at this point. You walked all the way to the end of the hall and knocked on the door to the common room the guys sometimes hung out in, fully expecting to get no answer, since the room was usually locked when Shigaraki was out; he valued his game consoles and trusted almost no one with them. Keyword here being almost.
The muffled noise of, well, something, stopped and you heard a hesitant ‘Yes?’. You cracked open the door, narrowing your eyes at the darkness and artificial lights that met you.
There, in the dark and with a game controller in his hand, was Spinner.
“Oh. Hi.” He said awkwardly, his face illuminated only by the glow of the TV in front of him.
“Hi,” You called back, glancing around the room but finding no other forms laying on the couches and chairs that adorned the game room. “I thought I was the only one here.”
“M-me too.” Spinner admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.
There was a brief silence, Spinner not unpausing his game and you not quite coming inside the room. You two had never found much common ground to really sit down and talk, even though you both, unknowingly, wished you were closer.
“So… What’cha doing?” You asked, leaning against the door frame.
“I’m… playing video games.” Why did that sound so much like a question?
“What are you playing?”
“Grand Theft Auto.” He said, the name meaning absolutely nothing to you. You blinked once and Spinner sighed in defeat, his shoulders dropping. “It’s a... crime game, I guess.”
It was no big secret that Spinner was a massive game fan, a passion he only shared with Shigaraki. They’d both attempted to, sometimes, engage the other members of the League in conversation about their games (Spinner much more often than Shigaraki) but no one really understood a word of what they were saying. Toga said they weren’t cute, Dabi said they were boring, Magne always had better things to do, and Compress couldn’t use a computer to save his life. Still, Shigaraki loved games and movies and all that jazz, and thus one of the rooms on the second floor of the bar had been deemed the ‘game room’, furnished with comfortable seats, a massive TV, and various gaming consoles that anyone could use if Shigaraki was present, even if no one ever did. No one other than Spinner, Shigaraki’s only trusted teammate that had his own key to the room.
Because yes, villains can also have hobbies, hang out, and also share their gaming stuff with their friends. Or coworkers. Or whatever the League was to one another at any given time.
You hummed, balancing back and forth on your feet. You had no idea what the game was or how it was played, having never played a video game once in your entire life, something that Spinner didn’t actually know. He just believed you found them boring. He looked almost defeated, the way he always did when he asked one of the others if they wanted to play with him before getting rejected, and you hesitated at the door.
“...Can I stay here and watch you?” You asked in a soft tone, your expression hesitant.
It would probably be like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles, but it seemed like a better idea than just locking yourself in your room and staring at the wall for hours.
Spinner blinked once, twice, a bunch of times, his eyebrows going higher and higher up his forehead with each passing second. He fumbled around in his seat, mouth opening and closing, before abruptly speaking in a high voice.
“Sure! I mean it’s a room for everyone, right? Y-you don’t need to ask me or anything. I can go if you-”
You giggled, making his eyes go even wider, “It’s fine. I’m actually kinda curious about this whole ‘video game’ thing.”
You stepped into the room. The couch was big enough for four people to sit side by side comfortably, and you sat down around the middle, a polite distance away from Spinner. He was tightly pressed against the armrest, his once crossed leg now stiffly placed in front of him. You settled down and grabbed a cushion, hugging it to your chest.
It took a few silent seconds, but Spinner eventually unpaused the game. You blinked, your eyes following the tiny man in the middle of the screen as he walked around some unknown city, a few other things popping up on the screen.
“What’s that?” You asked, pointing at one corner of the screen. Spinner followed your finger, looking both amazed and scared.
“My money and health.”
“And that?”
“The map. So I don’t get lost, know where my missions are.”
“Do you have a mission right now?”
“Not right now. It’s an open-world game and you can pretty much choose the pacing of the story and such and…” He stopped himself, surely realizing that he’d already lost you. He cleared his throat and then, slowly, “We can do whatever we want, basically.”
“Anything?”
“Yeah.”
You looked at the screen, watching as the little avatar ran along the sidewalk, people and vehicles all around him. You eventually nodded towards the screen.
“Can you steal that car?”
“Which one?” Spinner chuckled a little, raising a brow.
“That red one, the one at the traffic light.”
Spinner nodded, his eyes far more serious than the situation called for. His avatar approached the vehicle and then opened the door, promptly throwing the driver out onto the street and easily taking the car. You laughed a little as Spinner drove away, curses from the car’s owner growing fainter as he made his escape.
“You fiend,” you teased, earning a proper laugh out of the mutant. “That was way too easy, though!”
“Well, then give me a challenge.” Spinner said, giving you a glance and a small smile.
“Steal a plane.” You said confidently, but Spinner scoffed.
“You’re thinking too small.” He said, relaxing back into his seat. You realized for the first time that he had none of his usual gear on, only a pair of black jeans and a white t-shirt, his hair pulled back in a very messy ponytail. You rarely saw him like this, chill and confident and secure and you found yourself really liking the way all of those things looked on the usually shy mutant.
You spent the next hour watching as Spinner attempted (and usually succeeded) whatever idiotic, ridiculous idea you could conjure up. You had him running from one side of the map to the other, stealing some things, blowing up a few others, spawning things in places where they didn’t belong, and generally just causing absolute chaos wherever he went.
You laughed like an idiot as you watched him play, your dorky laugh making Spinner laugh in turn. You didn’t know it, but every time you had a fit of laughter, his chest would swell with happiness and so he kept the antics coming one after the other, each stunt dumber and flashier than the last.
You were honestly enamored with just how many absurd things you could get away with in the game, and so your eyes stayed mostly on the screen. You pointed and things and made up dumb scenarios for Spinner to somehow accomplish, your smile only fading when you focused on trying to understand what he was doing at any given moment. Spinner’s eyes though? He kept glancing your way, thankful that he was familiar enough with the game to be able to look at you for a second or two without dying.
He was currently driving, having just explained to you how cheat codes worked, an explanation that you listened to with rapt attention even if you didn’t get all of the things he told you. He was excited and you were giddy with laughter and the both of you were honestly having a great time together. You settled back into the comfy couch with a dumb smile on your face, a small giggle escaping your lips.
Spinner paused the game, stretching his arms in a wide arch.
“I’m gonna go get some water, you want anything?” He asked you, already getting up from the couch.
“Water is fine,” You responded, smiling appreciatively up at him. He smiled back, suddenly unable to keep eye contact. He half-ran out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
You still had the small, soft cushion in between your arms and you started running your fingers through its fluffy, black surface. This cushion had been brought home by Toga after one of her shopping sprees with Magne. It was soft and warm and you and Toga always fought over the damned thing on the rare occasions that you two watched movies together in the game room.
After a minute you stretched like a cat, groaning and readjusting your position on the couch to be more comfortable. Unknowingly, you’d scooted closer and closer to where Spinner had been sitting, and as soon as you noticed, you blushed, thankful that he wasn’t in the room at the moment.
Suddenly very aware of your surroundings, a light sense of anxiety came over you and you grabbed the closest thing you had in an attempt to distract yourself. Sure enough, it was the game controller. It was still a little warm, something that made you blush a tad more, and you turned it in your hands to examine it.
Truly inexperienced when it came to these kinds of things, you watched the object in your hands as if it was an ancient artifact of unknown origin and purpose. The buttons were marked with symbols and there was a light shining in the middle. You gave one of the triggers a try, liking the small clicking that came from it, and then, feeling braver, you pressed one of the buttons at random.
The game immediately unpaused, the scene going right back to where Spinner had left it before he left. You cursed, eyes wide in panic, as you attempted to pause the game again. But you couldn’t manage, and you were left with no other choice‪‬󠀥 than to try and control the car in the game. It was just a game, there was no need to act as if the world was ending, but the car was in the middle of the highway and you honestly didn’t want to look as useless as you felt in front of Spinner.
You guessed, correctly, that the little nub on the left of the controller steered the car, but you weren’t able to figure out how to make the damn vehicle accelerate for the life of you. The car behind yours crashed into your car and you cursed louder, feeling like a total idiot. Then you pressed who knows what and the little man on the game got out of the car and you wanted to throw the controller at the screen. Well, you told yourself, at least you could easily figure out how to walk in the game. This wasn’t that embarrassing a scene, in all honesty. Your confidence lasted all of three seconds before you were brutally reminded that the character had gotten off the car in the middle of a concurred highway, a semi plowing into the little avatar and sending his body flying through the air and into the other side of the road.
The image on the screen slowed and desaturated, the word ‘wasted’ flashing on the screen as, in the background, your character was run over by yet another car. The text was still on the screen when Spinner walked back through the door, his eyes immediately landing on your grand failure.
“What… happened?” He asked carefully, hyper-aware of your panicked expression. He placed two glasses of water down on the coffee table but didn’t sit down just yet.
You pointed at the controller as if the thing had committed murder, your voice getting higher and louder by the word.
“I don’t know! I pressed something and the game started and I couldn’t pause it and then the little guy thought it was a great idea to walk into traffic and he died and-”
Spinner snorted. He couldn’t help it, though he did have the decency to wave his hands in front of himself apologetically when you glared at him.
“Don’t laugh at me! I’ve never played a game before!”
“You never played one of these when you were a kid?” He asked, sitting on the armrest of the couch. He, too, had noticed how much closer to his spot you had gotten and he wasn’t quite confident enough to just sit down by your side.
You paused for a moment, bitterly self-conscious despite not wanting to be. You tapped at the controller with a fingernail, suddenly much quieter than before.
“I’ve… never played a video game before. Like, ever.”
Spinner’s eyes widened a bit, but it was soon replaced by a frown at your change in mood.
“Nothing?”
“We were too poor to afford anything when I was little, and then my parents kicked me out and well… I’ve never really had the chance.” You admitted, your eyes low. You tried not to bring up much about your past with the rest of the League, in part because you were a bit ashamed and in part because you knew most of them had had way worse childhoods than you. You honestly just didn’t like complaining, not now that you had so much to be thankful for. Those things were in the past, after all, and there was no point in being sad anymore, right?
You offered Spinner the controller once more, attempting to shake off your feelings to not ruin the mood. He took the controller from your hands but he didn’t sit back down, instead walking over to the TV. He paused the game again and shut off the PlayStation. You immediately started telling him that it was okay, that you were sorry, but you shut up when he threw a different, much smaller controller at you. The screen was only dark for a few moments before a different console was turned on and Spinner took his seat by your side with only a light blush dusting the skin under his scales.
“Let’s try something we can both play, shall we?” He asked you, already pressing around at the blue controller in his hand.
“You sure? You were having fun with the other game.” You pointed out, a weird feeling growing in your chest at the thought that you’d ruined Spinner’s fun. He chuckled, swallowed, and then looked at you for the briefest of moments.
“Well, I mean, it’s a good game, but… I was having fun with you, not the game, in particular, so yeah...” The last words were said in an embarrassed mumble and the feeling in your chest fell down into your stomach, turning warm and fuzzy. You smiled widely, settling down on the couch and crossing your legs. Your knee was resting on Spinner’s leg and, while you both noticed, neither of you said anything.
“What’s this one about?”
“You’ll see.”
--------------------------------------
Shigaraki and Kurogiri warped back inside the bar, the young leader of the League of Villains wanting nothing more than to lock himself inside his room, play some games, and then fall asleep. He turned towards the stairs but was met with an… odd sight if you will. Toga and Magne were standing at the foot of the stairs, both of them giggling like little girls.
“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, frowning as both women shushed him without any regard for who he was. He cursed under his breath and approached them.
“What?” He said, not as loud as before, but the answer presented itself before either woman could say anything.
From some room upstairs, he heard a clear scream of joy, followed by voices and laughter. He narrowed his eyes, glancing over at the two blushing morons at his side.
“We heard them when we got here ten minutes ago.” Toga giggled, her face more flushed than usual.
“Someone’s having a lot of fun up there~” Magne added, no attempt at hiding the implications of her words. Another high-pitched scream came from above and both women squealed.
Shigaraki moved a lot faster than he had in a while. He jumped the steps two at a time, following the loud noises of ecstasy and pointedly ignoring how Toga and Magne cursed him in your name, not quite managing to stop him. He flew down the hall like a demon out of hell, throwing open the door to the game room so hard that it bounced off the wall and left a small dent where the doorknob collided against the plaster. His red eyes were glowing with rage, his hands more than ready to turn whoever was fooling around in there into dust, but the scene that greeted him wasn’t quite the one he expected.
You were jumping on the couch, your arms raised in victory and a Switch controller in your hand. Spinner was sitting next to you, laughing carelessly and looking at you as if you were pure sunshine. On the screen, Yoshi had just won his first star in Super Mario Party.
“Did you see that!?” You asked Spinner, laughing as the mutant nodded, “I just got a star!”
“What the…” Shigaraki said, his stance deflating immediately. You turned towards him, a face-splitting grin adorning your face.
“Oh! Hi, Shigaraki! We’re playing Mario Party!” You pointed out, rather obviously. When Shigaraki didn’t react, you shyly got off the couch, assuming that he was angry at your outburst of energy. Behind him, Toga and Magne peeked into the room and started giggling like idiots.
“You wanna join? We’re almost done with this round.” You offered hopefully, plopping back in your place right next to Spinner, adding an inch of air between you two now that there were other people in the room. Likewise, Spinner removed the arm he’d had on the back of the couch, one that had been rather close to wrapping around your shoulders more than once.
“I wanna play!” Toga said cheerfully, running past Shigaraki and landing on her favorite beanbag, though not before reclaiming her cushion from your hands.
“Oh, me too! I wanna be Rosalina!” Magne said, choosing one of the reclining chairs near the back of the room, giving Toga a knowing look as they both left the couch only for you and Spinner.
“I call Princess Peach!” Toga added childishly, which made you laugh.
Shigaraki sighed like a man with no future, turned around, and promptly locked himself in his room for the remainder of the evening.
------------------------
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btsmosphere · 4 years
Text
Crossfire | KTH
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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8
Moodboard Masterlist
~summary: The night your life blew up sent you on a collision course with the campus bad boy, Kim Taehyung. Though you were well aware of his reputation, it was his doorstep you ran to when you were bleeding with nowhere to go.
~word count: 5k
~gang!au, mafia!au, college!au, angst, fluff, action, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers
Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating (warnings apply to each part individually, please read them)
~a/n: this week our gal gets some shit done and comes to a realisation due to Yoongi... also I am once again thanking everyone for supporting this story💜💜love you all,, n for those of you who haven’t heard I’m going to be posting a spooktober story soon so stay tuned...
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“I want to help.”
Tae paused in the doorway, a steaming plate in each hand, staring at you with a dumbfounded expression.
“Huh?”
“I want to do something to help, you know, with the plan,” you eagerly pressed on.
“Oh,” Taehyung nodded, but a pout remained on his face as he kicked the door shut gently behind him, “the plan with Shinhyuk?”
“Yep.”
Nervously eyeing him as he shifted onto the bed, you waited for him to speak. Instead, he just passed you one of the plates and began to tuck in.
“Taehyung?”
“Mmm,” he hummed indistinctly, looking up at you, cheeks full of food.
“So… can I help?”
For just a moment, his bewildered stare  was all that greeted you and his chewing slowed.
“Mmhmm,” he nodded, as if it was obvious.
“Oh. Okay.”
Admittedly, you hadn’t expected it to be that easy. As you began to eat yourself, Taehyung quickly went back to devouring his own meal without a second thought.
For once, the two of you were inside together during the day as it was the weekend and he wasn’t required for anything except a meeting, which was happening at his place anyway. With him here, you didn’t really need anything else to pass the time, but he had still vowed to bring you some more books soon, given that you had worked your way through the first pile completely now.
After last night, and if you were honest with yourself, even before that, any worry about being around Taehyung had faded away. Not only could you easily pass the time chatting, you very much enjoyed your time with him.
However, once you had both finished your food, it wasn’t long before there was a knock on the door announcing the arrival of the boys and the start of the meeting.
Only four had come as Jimin and Yoongi were out, doing ‘something’. You didn’t ask for details.
Taking the seat furthest from the window, hopefully hidden by Taehyung who sat beside you, you simply stayed quiet for most of the conversation. They didn’t need your input anyway; the plan sounded like it was progressing as well as it could be.
First of all, Jungkook and Namjoon confirmed the first members of Shinhyuk’s group they had managed to pick off, including the leader of a base inside his territory, though the rest were low-level: drivers, informants, dealers, fighters. Not enough to make his gang disappear by any stretch.
Not yet anyway, as Namjoon kept saying in encouragement.
As they resolved to keep digging through rival members, the real challenge was finding an in within Shinhyuk’s immediate circle – the ones who apparently were mainly stationed at what used to be your house.
“All I have is names,” Jungkook sighed, “even though I’m one of them, no one reveals anything about themselves.”
“Even the names might be fake,” Jin reminded him.
“I know,” Jungkook jammed his hands through his hair, “and there’s one – Jintao – he really doesn’t trust me. Makes it difficult for me to do anything. Always has his eyes on me.”
“Y/N can help,” Taehyung cut in then, causing four heads to turn sharply in your direction. You refused to squirm under their glares.
“Tae…” Jin was the first to speak, “it’s dangerous. I’ve been staking out Shin’s clubs and I’ve almost been caught so many times trying to talk to people-“
“She doesn’t have to go out on missions,” Tae reasoned, “a lot of snooping can be done from inside, and since she doesn’t have much else to do…”
“We have access to hackers, Tae,” Namjoon dismissed.
Biting your lip, you looked down. Since Tae had accepted your request to help so easily, you weren’t exactly prepared for this analysis. Perhaps it was stupid to think you would be able to assist these boys.
“She’s just as much a part of this as we are,” Taehyung surprised you with the ferocity in his voice, “she’ll be able to help. And I’ll let her even if you guys don’t.”
Namjoon in particular looked shocked by the younger boy’s unwavering words, but you watched in relief as he gave his assent with a nod, the others raising no further argument.
“What raids are coming up, Jungkook?” Hoseok brought the meeting back on track, prompting Jungkook to relay all the dates Shinhyuk had deals or attacks planned.
You listened as the boys decided which to focus on, though again they were frustrated by their lack of progress. Until Jungkook felt safe again, they weren’t going to counter any attacks, but they could make sure no one would be in the target properties to keep their allies out of danger.
Overall, the meeting left each of you feeling unsatisfied. This war with Shinhyuk was like having an unbearable itch while your hands were tied behind your back. You could only hope their careful preparation would eventually lend them the upper hand when they felt confident enough to retaliate.
With restless minds but nothing to do, Taehyung asked his friends to stay and a movie was agreed upon. As you had observed before, the boys relaxed remarkably quickly, and you were soon laughing with Hobi and Tae as you poured out snacks in the kitchen.
As you collected the packets, Hoseok returned to sit down. You and Tae had barely set foot around the corner when Hoseok let out a yell.
Startled, your head whipped around to find Yoongi standing silently in the doorway, leaning against one side, arms folded and a murderous expression.
“I didn’t see you there,” Hoseok breathed, laughing with a hand over his heart.
Before you could stop it, a snort escaped you, barely choked back, remembering exactly what you had said about Yoongi the night before. Luckily, you weren’t the only one, as you heard Taehyung beside you laughing through his nose, more successful at suppressing the sound.
“I hope there’s good news from the meeting,” Yoongi glared at you two, “I’m going bloody insane dancing around Shinhyuk like this.”
Everyone switched straight back to business mode around you, but you made the mistake of glancing over at Taehyung.
As soon as you made eye contact, neither of you could control yourselves and you had to fight to keep in your mirth. The dark warning glances from the other boys did nothing but fan the flames. Taehyung bit down on his lips as they threatened to break out into laughter; your cheeks ached.
Sinking onto the sofa, Taehyung looked pointedly away from you, shoving his fist into his mouth, shoulders still shaking.
With the tears brimming in your eyes, you didn’t care to listen to Yoongi as he talked about whatever he and Jimin had just come back from. When Jimin came in, a strangled laugh leapt from your mouth before you clamped it shut again, but you had set Tae off again.
The orange-haired boy across the room stared at you both like you were crazy.
“What’s your problem?” Yoongi’s sour face only made it harder to remove him from the ridiculous cartoon stereotype and Taehyung finally broke, guffawing loudly with his head thrown back, before falling against you and clinging to your shoulder, tears running down his face.
Shocked to find Taehyung’s head suddenly pressed into the crook of your neck, your breathless laugh was finally cut off. All you could do was stare down at him with a smile as he pulled himself together, wheezing dramatically the whole time.
At last, he seemed to realise himself and abruptly let go of your shirt. Pulling back, you were face to face for a second, expressions reflecting each other’s surprise, before he closed his mouth and turned back to Yoongi with a flawless poker face.
“Nothing.”
And then you were laughing again.
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The prospect of Yoongi almost definitely hating you now didn’t bother you anymore. In the days following the meeting, you had begun to work through the list of names Jungkook had scribbled down of the members of Shinhyuk’s current inner members:
-Gi Beomho- has a Gwangju accent?
-Chaewon/known as Seb
-(Lee?) Minho
-Soonjae
-Jintao
Taehyung had told you his laptop password and you began trawling through the internet for any traces.
Though you were by no means a hacker, one of your friends at college, Jake, had once showed you a few things he knew how to do from his course in computing. Not to mention you were able to stalk someone very efficiently on social media from investigating the hot guy Lisa had seen on the street, or finding Soo’s mysterious girlfriend she refused to introduce to your group.
Now, though, there were no friends laughing around you as you tried to take apart the gang that was living in your house.
After your first afternoon of searching, nothing fruitful came up. When Taehyung had come back in the evening, you were more than happy to abandon the task and join him in your usual dinner routine, falling asleep soon after when you settled down together to watch a film.
But as the days progressed, you became more determined and frustrated in equal measure as you came across few things. You had worked your way through 3 people, giving up only after you had exhausted every avenue you could think to investigate.
Lee Minho took you even longer than the others to rule out, though you suspected from the beginning it was an alias since he shared the name with the famous actor, meaning there was an immense amount of unrelated material cluttering any path to finding the gang member, no matter what you searched.
Slumping back against the headboard, you set the laptop aside and flipped it shut.
Your attempt at working your way through the newest stack of books Taehyung had brought you was much slower than the first time around. Until he came back home, you barely took in the words.
At your side, a notebook containing the few possible leads consistently stole your attention instead.
You had managed to gain access to a couple of police reports on a Gi Beomho in Gwangju, but you would have to verify with Jungkook whether the photo was of the right person, or if you were barking up the wrong tree entirely.
When Tae finally arrived, you anxiously greeted him. Today Shinhyuk had planned his largest attack yet, on a shop that was a front for gang activity, and you knew all the boys had been on standby.
Taking in the scattered books, paper and laptop on the bed, his shoulders slumped.
“Nothing yet?”
“No, sorry,” you confirmed with a sigh.
“Don’t apologise,” he reached out and rubbed a hand along your upper arm to your shoulder. There it lingered, fingers slowly massaging for a moment.
“Were you hurt today?”
In only the short time since he came in, he had only squeezed out a smile once as he tried to reassure you.
At the shake of his head, you felt a knot in your chest release. But he still wasn’t happy.
“So what happened?”
“We didn’t go in at all. It was a lost cause,” he sat on the bed and kicked his shoes off without energy, “he shut the whole place down. It’s done for.”
With another huff, he fell back to lie on the bed. You did the same.
Weighty silence hovered over you both.
You had no idea how long you merely stared up at the ceiling, paralysed, before Taehyung moved. Slowly, he reached his hand out, fingers finding yours. As he intertwined your hands where they lay between you, you simply let your eyes slide shut, squeezing back.
“I know you’ll find something.”
Though you appreciated his support, he said it to assure himself as much as you.
Whether he could see or not, you nodded.
Just then, Tae’s familiar ringtone chimed in the silence. Pulling his phone from a pocket, he held it above him, checking the caller. Deciding it was worth it, he reluctantly pulled his had from yours to push himself up as he swiped across the screen and held the device to his ear.
Sitting up too, you could hear Jungkook’s voice crackling out from the phone.
“Hyung, I think I-I messed up-“
“Woah, Jungkook, what happened?”
“I was in Shinhyuk’s car, and I saw a file in there, he was looking through it, and it had you guys in it! It was labelled ‘bangtan’ and it’s full of information on everyone- I didn’t know he had that, but I just- I panicked, and I stole it, and now I have it but Shinhyuk’s leaving before me and he’ll notice it’s gone and- fuck-“
You caught Tae’s eye as you both listened in horror to the scared maknae.
“Where are you Kook?” Tae demanded, eyes breaking from yours.
“Um, at Y/N’s,” he replied, “the others are just packing away-“
But before he could finish, you had reached over and pulled the phone right out of Taehyung’s grasp.
“Jungkook,” you hissed into the receiver, “there’s two loose floorboards under my wardrobe at the back, they’re pretty quiet to move, can you hide it in there?”
“Uh, yeah,” the boy responded, “thanks.”
You lowered the phone to return to Tae, but suddenly brought it back to your ear.
“And don’t look at any of the stuff that’s already in there!”
“Oh- okay,” the boy sounded startled, but Tae seemed to find your miniature panic hilarious as he took the phone back and hung up.
Saying nothing, he wiggled his eyebrows and smirked at you.
“Oh, shut it,” you ignored the heat rising in your cheeks and shoved him lightly back onto the bed, where he only laughed louder.
“It’s not even- oh you are ridiculous,” you cried as he pulled you down on top of him, only making you turn redder.
In your embarrassment, you tried to wriggle away from him, pushing on his chest, but he grabbed your wrists, bringing you back down, grin ever-present on his face.
“Hey!” you protested, and then, “Ya! Stop! Tae-“
His hands reached down to tickle your sides, and you squirmed away from him again, only to have him follow, ending up on top of you as he mercilessly continued his attack, enjoying himself far too much.
“Ohmygod, ahh, Tae, please, aaaahahaha…”
Struggling, you writhed around, legs kicking out as you shrieked in protest before you finally reached his sides and exacted your revenge. He curled in on himself, giggling and apologising to get you to stop. You did, eventually, only to throw a pillow right at his face, though he easily caught it in the hands he had held up in surrender.
Both collapsing back onto the bed, you turned your head to one side, but you found he was already looking back at you. His laughter had dissipated into a smile which you returned.
“Thanks for helping out Kook,” he said earnestly, eyes boring into yours, “I told you that you would be helpful.”
This time, your heart soared with his praise.
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You weren’t hopeful about finding ‘Soonjae’, or anything that could bring him away from Shinhyuk. Having gone through half the list already, the remaining two were the people Jungkook had the least information on.
Trudging through the morning, you were reluctant to take to the computer and be met with more inevitable defeat. Today you felt particularly tired, which didn’t help.
It was strange since you had slept for a long time, waking only after Taehyung had gone, leaving you missing his presence, even if you barely touched him while you shared a bed.
Nonetheless, you found yourself sifting through links and articles online, far from the first page of Google filled with celebrities and international news. With the little information you had on the man, you ended up reading through anything and everything containing the name Soonjae. Facebook profiles, comments on newspaper articles, a GoFundMe page…
Taking a sip of water, you scrolled idly to the bottom of the GoFundMe, which was for a child after all, no gang member, and read the ‘recent’ donations (the most recent being over a year old) and comments. Nothing.
Clicking on ‘show more’, you pulled up the full comment list and scanned through. For what, you weren’t sure. Most donations were small bits and pieces, but among the ones from three years ago, one was a little more sizeable. Along with it came an interesting comment: a woman called Sara was apologising for her ‘previous words’ and wishing the boy well.
You frowned as you read it. Though it was almost certainly unrelated, you were undeniably curious as to what she might have said to target an ill child.
Clicking next on the woman’s account, you decided to try and log in. After employing the password tricks Jake had showed you, you made it. The account had been created the same day as the donation was made on little Soonjae’s page, and appeared untouched since. You supposed this tangent had come to nothing, though you were certainly pleased with your skills after getting into the account.
Closing down the tab, you searched next for ‘Soonjae GoFundMe’. There was the campaign you had already seen, followed by a few that proved to be unrelated as well. You selected ‘next page’ with little hope.
Then something caught your eye.
About halfway down, the name Sara.
Quickly selecting the page, you found yourself on Facebook instead of GoFundMe, but what you found was certainly interesting. It was the same woman from the earlier page. This time she had posted a status:
If anyone on here donates to Soonjae’s fucking gofundme get ready to be cut out of my life XD cheaters don’t deserve your pity
That was certainly interesting. No wonder she had apologised to the boy – it also explained her big donation – probably given out of guilt.
But re-reading the status, you realised she couldn’t possibly be talking about the boy. Unless by ‘cheater’ she meant that he had cheated on a test in school, but you suspected that was not the case.
You clicked on her profile.
Her profile picture showed her holding a little boy that must be around ten, standing on a beach. Flipping through her older profile images, they stopped three years ago. Perhaps she had deleted all previous ones?
Only friends can see Sara’s photos
Only friends can see Sara’s timeline
“Not just friends…” you muttered, getting to work.
Unluckily for Sara, she had used the same password as on her GoFundMe, so you logged in easily.
The first thing you saw was that she reportedly lived in your city: a promising start. Scrolling through to three years ago, you saw only one other post close in time to her attack on Soonjae and his fundraising page:
Sara is feeling: heartbroken X(
That lead you nowhere, so you made your way back up her feed, seeing photos of her son and meals with friends. Few stuck out as anything but happy, all possibly related to the mysterious events of three years ago.
That’s right, delete your fucking facebook. I don’t need to worry about blocking you now XD
Sara is feeling: defeated☹: Just got out of court. Nrs
What was the point in all this? Just to prove something? Well you did, you proved I was right all along
Now you really were intrigued. You needed to find out what was going on, she was definitely linked to a Soonjae in your city, so you had reason to investigate further. Still, as you clicked on the messages icon, you felt very much like a trespasser.
Searching for ‘Soonjae’ at the top, two conversations were pulled up, both from three years ago. One with ‘Park Soonjae’ and one with ‘Help Soonjae’.
First choosing ‘Help Soonjae’, recognising the profile picture as the same image used on the GoFundMe, you read the exchange of messages.
Sara: What the fuck is this?
Sara: I can’t believe you’re pulling the pity card after what you’ve done
Help Soonjae: Excuse me?
Sara: You know what I mean
Help Soonjae: Ma’am, I don’t know you but please calm down. I will block you, this page is only trying to raise hospital funds for my son. I’d thank you to explain how this is ‘pulling the pity card’
Sara: Wait… Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!
Sara: I can’t apologise enough, I thought this was my husband’s page, he has the same name as your son! I didn’t check the page before messaging, I didn’t mean to offend you or your son
Sara: I’ll make a donation to your page to make up for this. I wish your son the best
Read 15:47
And that was the end of that. Wincing with second hand embarrassment, you quickly moved on to ‘Park Soonjae’.
Soon, you realised that the message history was long, but it all ended three years ago. You gave up on scrolling your way to the top, seeing that most messages consisted of ‘I love you’s and reminders to buy milk. The final conversation, however, gave you a lot more information.
Sara: What the fuck is this?
Then followed a screenshot of a GoFundMe page: Help Soonjae win Custody
Sara: You cheated. Maybe you should write that in your description.
Soonjae: Sara, I’ve told you I’m sorry
Sara: And I’ve told you that’s not enough. We are over
Soonjae: I can understand that. I just can’t understand why you want to keep my son from me!
Sara: HOW CAN YOU NOT TELL?!?!
Sara: I never want to see you again, and I don’t want kai to either
Soonjae: How can I make it up to you without going to court? I can’t afford the fees and you know it
Sara: You can’t ‘make it up’ to me. And it’s not my problem anymore if you can afford it or not. I’m blocking you
And that was it.
You wasted no time in opening Soonjae’s profile in a new tab, before taking a screenshot of the messages and logging out of Sara’s account.
Soonjae’s account was indeed deleted, confirming him as the target of Sara’s earlier status update. One search for new profiles under the same name showed no one promising. Your ‘breakthrough’ seemed more trivial now you had taken a step back from it. Without a picture of the Soonjae you had found, you couldn’t confirm if you were on the right target.
You had one last option, and searched for the GoFundMe Sara had sent a screenshot of. At last you found it, though it took a while as it had been declared finished and was from so long ago.
But, once you opened it, it turned out Sara’s screenshot hadn’t included the full photo at the top of the campaign. It had only showed a baby cradled in someone’s arms, but on the site, the full photo extended to show the man’s face.
This time, you did not scroll down.
You just stared.
There would be no need for Jungkook to verify if this was the right man. Those eyes had stared at you before from underneath a hoodie in your own bedroom not so long ago. And the hands that held his son had given you the wound in your side.
“Holy shit…” you breathed, taking a screenshot when you recovered from your shock.
Then you proceeded to scroll down. And it seemed like you had hit the jackpot.
The description had been updated, and the last lines read:
Thanks for the generosity. This page will be deactivated as I have now sourced funding from a private benefactor. Will update those who donated on the court result.
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“Tae! Oh my god-“
You froze on the stairs.
On hearing the door opening downstairs, you had presumed Taehyung had returned, but instead, Yoongi stood in the hallway.
“Hi,” he said coolly.
“Sorry,” you murmured, but didn’t retreat back upstairs. Staring back at him, laptop and notebook clutched in your arms, you felt the need to share your breakthrough.
After a few seconds glaring at you, Yoongi moved away down the hallway. Taking a breath, you followed.
“Um, sorry, I thought you were Tae,” you spoke from the door.
“Ok,” came his short reply as he rooted in the fridge.
“Actually, er,” you pushed, making the boy at least turn around and acknowledge your presence, “I wanted to show him something. But… I can show you instead. You know how I was searching up Shinhyuk’s closest members, well, I think I found something.”
His unimpressed face vanished at least a little, and he nodded, taking a swig from the drink he had picked.
“Okay,” you placed the laptop on the island and opened the screenshots you had saved, “so I found this woman’s messages with a Soonjae in the city, they were getting divorced but he couldn’t afford the legal costs to fight for custody of their son.”
Yoongi leaned forwards to read the screen and you stepped aside, worrying your lip. Watching him read, you leaned against the counter to support your tired legs.
“Bastard,” he muttered.
“Pardon?”
“He cheated on her,” he said simply, gesturing towards the screen, drink in hand.
You hummed in agreement and flipped onto the second image.
“He set up this GoFundMe, but see how it says he then received funding from elsewhere.”
“Could be Shinhyuk, definitely,” Yoongi agreed, “I can send Jungkook this guy’s picture-“
“Actually, you don’t have to,” you cut in, “I, er, I recognise him. He was one of Shinhyuk’s that broke into my place.”
“Shit,” Yoongi breathed, turning to take a look back at the man on the screen, “good catch.”
“Thanks,” you couldn’t help but smile, “so… what now?”
Setting his drink aside, Yoongi bent over the counter and opened a new tab, sending the images to his own email, along with a final one of Sara’s details on Facebook.
“I think we have enough to work with. We can use the details for leverage and approach him.”
“Nice,” you couldn’t keep yourself from smiling. Even if only Yoongi was around to see it, you were just proud to have hopefully helped bangtan get another rival under their belt, and get closer to defeating Shinhyuk.
It seemed Yoongi had finished with the laptop, even though he hadn’t yet left the kitchen or even picked his drink up again. Awkwardly, you stepped closer to shut the laptop and slide it off the counter.
Taking a stride back towards the door, you hesitated.
“Well, erm, thanks, I’ll just- yeah.”
“Wait.”
You turned back around, surprised at just how small Yoongi’s voice sounded. Not knowing what to say, you waited as he stood shuffling his feet.
At last he cleared his throat and spoke.
“Listen, I’m sorry for, you know… trying to kill you that time,” he said. His voice was quiet, as if a lower volume would allow him to pretend he never said it.
“Well there’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear,” you chuckled.
“No, I really am,” he spoke stronger this time, actually looking at you, “I know I haven’t been the nicest and-“
“No, it’s okay,” you flashed him another smile, “I know you were just trying to protect Tae.”
He fell silent again for a moment, and you thought that might be it. But something was still on the tip of his tongue and he looked down, one hand coming to scratch his ear.
“I want to tell you I’m happy for you guys. You seem… well, really nice, and I know Tae thinks so too, and I trust him, so… yeah.”
Gulping, he looked up at you, trying to hide his mortification at the barrage of emotion he had just released. You just stared back at him, lost for words.
Maybe he had said something wrong?
“A-and, thank you for doing this work on Shinhyuk’s gang, it’ll really help us. What you did was really impressive-“
“I-I’m sorry,” you finally spluttered out, “what did you mean when you said you- you’re… you’re happy for us?”
Looking back at you, his eyes widened.
“Shit, are you guys not-“
You tried to swallow down any signs of how flustered you were, clutching the laptop tighter in front of your chest. Perhaps he didn’t mean what you thought he might-
“I thought you guys were dating. Shit.”
You couldn’t agree more with that last sentiment.
Just as you opened your mouth, without knowing what you planned on saying, you were saved by the bell. Or rather, the door.
Tae had finally come home. It would be an understatement to say he was surprised to find you and Yoongi together, in conversation too apparently. Hopefully Yoongi had finally quit his tough act and exposed his softness that Tae had insisted you would find eventually.
Yoongi was quick to inform Tae of what you had dug up on Soonjae. Taehyung put his hand on your shoulder, sending you a proud grin that made your heart race as he told you he knew you could do it.
The whole time you were aware of Yoongi watching the interaction, and you excused yourself as soon as you could, leaving the boys to themselves.
Practically running up the stairs, you were left panting as you closed the door to the bedroom. Just one short burst of speed had knocked you out, but that concern barely crossed your mind as you surrendered to the mattress, thinking only of what Yoongi had told you.
He thought you were dating? Ridiculous…
But then why had the suggestion got to you so much? Sure, you shared a bed with the guy, and you enjoyed being with him, and liked it when he held your hand or hugged you…
Fuck.
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BBC Merlin 4x05: His Father’s Son
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Here's a round-up of my main observations from BBC Merlin's "His Father's Son" (4x05).
1- MERLIN AS A KNIGHT 
I have to admit that Merlin as a sorcerer and trusted adviser appeals to me the most, but I did write a lengthy post analysing how Arthur had turned Merlin into an excellent fighter. This refutes claims that Merlin gave more to Arthur than he received in return. 
At the beginning of 4x05, we see Merlin selected to play a new role: that of knight. How did this come about? Arthur Pendragon is best known for his skills as a warrior, but he deserves more credit for his military tactics. These destroy the popular yet false idea that he is unintelligent. More on the latter in a forthcoming post.  
One of Arthur’s favourite tactics is using decoys. Previous examples of him using decoys include: The Castle of Fyrien (3x07), when Arthur used Merlin as a decoy to entrap Cenred’s soldiers; Aithusa (4x04), when Arthur used himself as a decoy to get Sir Percival to safety; Arthur’s Bane Part 2 (5x02), when Arthur uses Merlin as a decoy to enrage the slave traders before they escape-- by far my favourite example. 
All things considered, I don’t think it takes long for Arthur to choose Merlin. Furthermore, this decision may have taken place before they reached their selected location, as Agravaine later mentions a previous attack by Caerleon on the border. This choice demonstrates that Arthur has higher confidence in Merlin's abilities than he does of in his knights-- else he would have chosen them. We must conclude that Merlin is Arthur's best fighter, though at first glance, we wonder why an unarmed man follows trained knights into battle. 
Merlin is sharp, fast, has high stamina, and is incredibly resourceful. Most of all, however, he is incredibly brave. In fact, when rewatching 1x02, I was surprised to see Arthur acknowledge that Merlin was "braver than you look." This despite Arthur’s frustration that Merlin did not try hard enough during practice ("Come on, Merlin: I've got a tournament to win!"). 
What’s more, in that same episode, Merlin complains about his first day, but later on, we see his fascination wth the ongoing tournament. Then he admitted to Gaius that working for Arthur (in the context of said tournament) "isn't totally horrible all the time." It took one day for him to change his opinion! 
Sure, Merlin would continue to treat the fighting as pointless violence, and Arthur as having nothing more in his head than a desire to knock "the seven bells" out of other people (3x04). However, even in 1x02, when he applauds Arthur's fighting, his actions tell a different story. We associate this habit of liking something whilst pretending otherwise to Arthur, yet Merlin has it as well. 
As I have said before, Merlin and Arthur have profound differences, yet are profoundly alike. 
2- MERLIN AS A SERVANT 
It comes as no surprise that Merlin would return to serving after the beginning of 4x05. However, what that change represents sets the tone for this entire episode: Arthur dismissing Merlin's counsel repeatedly in favour of listening to his uncle. 
When Arthur says, "so please, stick to what you do know," you have to wonder whether Merlin remembered being entrusted with the role of knight. Now, Arthur puts him back in his place. 
Here's another example: "My conscience is clean, which is more than I can say for my room, so just... do your job, will you?" Yet just yesterday, that job involved Merlin risking his life against enemy forces by dressing as a knight. 
By the way, you can tell that Arthur doesn’t believe his own excuses, because he keeps using the passive voice to justify killing Caerleon: “...a show of strength was necessary… an example had to be made… My conscience is clean…” 
Merlin’s face after Arthur claims he doesn’t need anyone is self-explanatory. 
3- NEW THOUGHTS ON ANNIS
Is Queen Annis a good person? Actually, no. 
First of all, she knows and approves of her husband invading foreign kingdoms to plunder their wealth. Such invasions naturally cost not only the lives of Arthur's men, but her own, too. 
Furthermore, despite accepting Arthur's offer of a fight by single combat, she is prepared to cheat by enlisting Morgana's power. Perhaps if Arthur had died, too, she would have felt some remorse. Yet she still takes a monumental risk with Arthur's life in blatant violation of the knight's code. One has to wonder about her reaction had Camelot plotted against her armies in the same way. 
Then we have Annis calmly ordering Merlin’s execution without giving him a chance to explain himself. The lack of emotion in her voice suggests she has done this before. 
Speaking of cruelty, Annis’ champion seems to enjoy inflicting pain on his enemies, yet the Queen claims that he “served my husband well.” I dread to think what she means by “served”. 
I will also note that Queen Annis disdains magic, referring to Morgana as “witch”. As I have said before, Uther did not begin prejudice against magic; sorcerers were disliked and feared elsewhere, too, including by those who disliked Uther. Many sorcerers caused this prejudice by engaging in manipulative, violent, and wicked deeds. 
Examples include High Priestesses using Fomorrohs to enslave people’s minds (4x06); Cornelius Sigan using his power to change day into night and acquire vast wealth (2x01); sorcerers using special blades to murder people (3x04), and so on.
None of this takes away from Annis’ complexity, nor does it undermine her immense humility when she accepts defeat and withdraws from Camelot. After all, much of Annis' rage and desire for vengeance stems from intense grief over Caerleon's death, so we can assume her marriage was a happy one. 
Forgiving the man who destroyed her domestic happiness (as well as leaving her people without a king) shows tremendous nobility on Annis’ part. I think Arthur sees that, for he is always humble and respectful before her. 
4- LONG LIVE THE KING 
Few people respect Arthur more than Merlin. So when he doesn’t join in with cries of “Long live the king!”, you know something is wrong. 
5- CONTROL YOUR FEAR 
Episode 4x03 has a hilarious scene where a drunk Arthur claims he isn’t even a little bit scared, because, “I’m a warrior. You learn to control your fear.” Then Arthur walks smack bang into a pillar. Never fails to make me laugh. Minus the drunkenness, Arthur was telling the truth about controlling his fear.
You can see this at least twice in this episode: first, when he sees how many men Annis has brought against Camelot, and secondly, when he sees the size of Annis’ giant. In both cases, Arthur harnesses his fear into determination, which is another sign of a great warrior. 
Next up, we have a fascinating scene where Arthur watches his men joking by the fire. It's a great way of showing Arthur’s care for these men, as well as his guilt that impending war will end their lives. In a sense, Arthur has to control his fear yet again. 
6- TRUST IN MERLIN 
After the above scene, Gwaine asks Merlin if Arthur is all right, and the fact that Merlin can describe Arthur's feelings without even questioning the King once again shows the unique nature of their friendship. Merlin sees Arthur's expression, and he just knows. And Gwaine knows that, hence why he does not question the King himself. 
Listen to the silence after Merlin's response. Nobody questions Merlin's judgement: they just reflect. Given the way Arthur has repeatedly dismissed Merlin's advance in favour of his uncle, I think he could have learned something from his own knights. 
I wonder whether the knights would ask Merlin something about Arthur in this way, whenever the king was absent. In ancient kingdoms, kings had advisers, and in order to earn the monarch's favour, you spoke to the latter first. Did Merlin ever play that role for the knights?
7- MERLIN’S IDIOCY 
Now, I have a problem with Merlin telling Arthur that 1)- he would have taken any other option but to face war with Annis, and 2)- his decision to kill Caerleon “was made in the best interests of Camelot.” 
Sorry, but it wasn’t. Merlin knows that. I understand that he has to rally Arthur’s spirits so that they can win against Annis, but I am glad that Arthur knows full well he has done wrong. Both Merlin and many fans do not give Arthur enough credit for recognising his own errors. 
However, even these foolishly optimistic statements pale in comparison to Merlin's reckless and self-righteous interference when Arthur negotiates with Queen Annis. I burst out laughing when he trips and falls headlong into the tent, a metaphor for his impetuousness.  
Merlin eavesdrops outside Annis’ tent, gets caught (so he didn't conceal himself), and then has the audacity to say, “Sorry about this!” to Arthur! Not only that, he got angry over being called a “simple-minded fool”, when he couldn’t even walk in a straight line to follow the king, got himself caught and almost killed by enemy soldiers, and made Arthur look as though he were double-crossing Annis! 
I completely agree with Arthur’s anger: “Oh, I was being kind, believe me: you almost got me killed in there!” Correct. Merlin simply could not trust that Arthur knew what he was doing, and decided to interfere. Instead of apologising for getting Arthur into trouble, Merlin remains on the defensive, claiming without evidence that Arthur was “doing a pretty good job of that yourself!” 
This is untrue. Arthur surrendered himself to Annis’ men. The most injury he received was a slap. He asked a favour. That isn’t risking your life. In fact, Arthur was trying to save lives, and if Merlin had been listening properly (or just stayed in bed), he would have seen that. Only after Merlin’s sudden entrance did Arthur face serious danger from Annis. 
Now, Merlin’s explanation for this is, “I’m your friend! I was looking out for you.” I don’t doubt it. But once again, Arthur is right: “I appreciate that in your very confused way, you’re only trying to help, but please: don’t do it again.”
Condescending? Of course. But this time it was Merlin who provoked him into this anger. 
8- MORGANA 
Despite all her power, Morgana still has to defer to non-magical kings and queens. After all, she requires their military assistance to take over Camelot. 
You can also see how Queen Annis detects Morgana’s hatred, greed, self-righteousness, hypocrisy, and bloodlust. In one glance, Queen Annis begins questioning the wisdom of working with a sorceress she does not trust, not least on account of Morgana being a sorceress. 
In fact, Arthur’s prowess as a warrior impresses her more: “You have as much to lose as I if Arthur wins…” Fascinating scene. 
9- THANK YOU, OLD FRIEND 
It’s ironic that arguably the best scene in 4x05 begins by showcasing Arthur’s cynicism. No guesses why Arthur did not tell Merlin about breaking off his relationship with Gwen earlier. That speaks volumes. If he had told Merlin, I think they would have had an argument similar to that of 4x11. 
Only when Arthur realises that he may die does he ask Merlin to pass his ring onto Gwen with an apology. You can see the guilt etched onto his face as he refuses to make eye contact. Interestingly, Merlin does not ask any further questions. 
Arthur’s entrusting Merlin to look after Gwen in the event of his death says a lot. For example, that ring is technically royal property, yet Arthur gives it to a servant for safe-keeping, rather than his next-of-kin, Agravaine. Despite claiming to need his uncle’s advice, Arthur will not trust Agravaine with such duties. Has Arthur made a medieval will or testament? Obviously, I have no idea, however, this episode already shows Arthur’s reliance on Merlin to deal with family matters. 
Another interesting aspect to this scene is Merlin’s silence after Arthur makes an indisputable point. This dispels any idea that Merlin’s advice was always correct. On several occasions, Merlin had to defer to Arthur’s judgement, because he saw the truth and wisdom behind it. “I don’t know what will happen. But for the first time since I became king, I know in my heart I’ve made the right decision.”
Got to love Arthur’s half-amused, “You’re not about to start crying on me, are you?” He expects Merlin to be either in good spirits or confident, because that is how he, too, remains confident. Arthur is an optimist, yet Merlin becomes a pessimist, so the king must pull Merlin together with light and yet serious teasing. 
Needless to say, Arthur calling Merlin “old friend” implies that they have been friends for a long time. So why do some fans still think that Arthur had trouble admitting that Merlin was his friend? Also, the word “old” in this context can imply reliability, constancy. Arthur chose that word to describe Merlin’s value, as well as the length of their friendship. 
The great thing about Arthur is that while he makes some serious errors, when he does repent, he does so well. Not only does Arthur graciously thank Merlin for his concern, but he makes it clear to Agravaine that he relies on Merlin’s judgement prior to entering battle. This supports my earlier statement that Merlin is Arthur’s best fighter, as well as right-hand man; Arthur does not leave for the fight until Merlin has confirmed his readiness. 
On top of this, Arthur later admits that he might be a cabbage head. “I should have listened to you, Merlin. Just this once, I think you were right-- even if you are the worst servant in the five kingdoms!” 
By implication, Agravaine is wrong. Arthur won’t say that, of course, but we saw Merlin’s sound advice competing with Agravaine’s lies for this entire episode. We can only conclude that regardless of what he says, Arthur trusts Merlin more than members of his own family. 
And this is a theme which will continue and grow for the remainder of Season 4. 
FURTHER POINTS:
Merlin’s fighting skills
Paradoxes of Arthur and Merlin’s friendship
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mirismuffins-ovo · 3 years
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Plant Palace Pt 4
A woman with dyed blonde hair answered the door,she was decently short. Shorter than John at least, “how’s your cat?”,it was the code for this household. The woman gave a smile and stepped aside for John to come in “your Johnathan Prince ain’t ya?” The small women shut the door behind her as she faced John,who was standing politely to the side.”And your Dr.Hanon?” John felt embarrassed she knew who he was,but with his family history he wasn’t surprised. “What can I do for you?”
John quickly explained his symptoms to the woman who led him down to the basement. It was filled with medical equipment,she had him lie down on a small couch like chair as she pulled some gloves on. “I’m going to lift up your shirt and take a look” she spoke in a soft tone and John nodded. She gently pressed on John's swollen tummy, “seems a bit too solid to be just overwatering” she said, a bit confused. Dr Hanon pulled out a small monitor and put a cool gel on John's tummy,causing him to get a shiver.The rest went as you could expect,the doctor explained to John what the cause could be for his pregnancy but John was in a state of shock.
He’d come home and was still in a mix of emotions,when he walked into his house seeing Eddie sitting on the couch with Bitty in his lap.
He heard the door open, true to his word, John was home. Bitty jumped down and wove herself in and out of John’s legs, purring, happy he returned. John ignored her. Eddie got up to greet him but the look on the younger man’s face was one he wasn’t hoping to see. He had a feeling that it was going to not be good.
“John… How’d it go?” He waited in anticipation as he watched his boyfriend’s eyes begin to water. “Come here.” He opened his arms which John walked into, hugging him. Worry flooded over the taller man. He guided them over to the couch, letting the other sit while he went to make tea.
Eddie returned with two hot cups of ginger tea he had found in the cabinet, handing a cup over to his boyfriend. He waited in silence, waiting for John to be ready to talk.
John took the cup mumbling what seemed to be a thankyou. Putting the hot cup to lips while taking a sip while he tried to gather his thoughts “Eddie…” his voice was a hoarse whisper,he looked up with his worried eyes to his boyfriend sitting next to him. “the doctor, she said I’m..pregnant” His voice was almost inaudible when he spoke. John couldn’t stop thinking about it,all this time,why he’d been sick and his growing tummy. He was unable to look Eddie in the eye,he knew that it was germination,he wasn’t sure if Eddie would understand that.
Eddie stilled when he heard the words leave his boyfriend’s mouth. Pregnant? What? He could feel the mug slip from his hand but he caught it when hot tea poured on his foot. He yelped before rushing back to the kitchen to find something to clean up the mess John got up to make sure he was alright. He found towels to wipe up the water, dismissing his injury.
“I.. uh…” He looked up at John. “We haven’t had sex yet!” His voice cracked as he also didn’t mean to shout that.
John felt his face get hot with embarrassment “I know I know..Eddie I promise I’m still a virgin” His voice shook as he said this. “the doctor said it might be caused by germination,I promise I haven’t seen anyone but you” John didn’t know how to tell Eddie that it wasn’t just one. “Um...Eddie one last thing..” He rubbed the back of his neck and his voice faltered when he spoke again. “She said that there’s three..” John had to sit back down on the couch when he admitted it. It still had him in shock,but Bitty took this opportunity to get comfortable on John's lap resting her head on his round tummy.
“I never accused you of cheating, but since now knowing you’re an Abbie, maybe I gave off something or…”
He was trying to wrap his head around everything. He already had a busy morning finding out his boyfriend was an Abnormal, then turns out he’s growing three little water melons- wait.
“DID YOU SAY THREE!?” He shouted again, staring at John with wide eyes.
John flinched slightly at the loud voice of his boyfriend. Doing his best to not cry again,but his eyes were brimmed with tears. He tried to stay calm,but struggled speaking with a frog in his throat so he just silently nodded. John failed to keep the tears in and began to silently sob into his hands. He feared that this was enough for Eddie to leave him and he didn’t know how he’d deal with this on his own. John heard Eddies confused panicked muttering continue but he couldn’t help but cry. Not a lick sure what to say to calm his boyfriend.
Eddie could see the tears starting to run down John’s cheeks. He stood up, leaving the towel on the floor.
“Ah!” He got up to get close to his boyfriend and remembered the last time he did that, vines wrapped around the man. So he stopped close enough.
“I’m not mad! I’m not upset! I’m just shocked!” He ran a hand in his hair, rubbing the undercut. “Most of all I’m worried about you. We just started going out and BOOM! Babies! I’d be freaking out if this were me!”
He cleared this throat, lowering his voice again. “What do you want me to do?”
John shook his head still at a loss for words. He was freaked out for sure but he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. “I dunno”He whimpered softly wiping away tears from his wet cheeks. He put a hand on his stomach. “I've never done this before” He shrugged and was still shook that there’s three other life forms growing inside him. His stomach was already so big in such a small amount of time,he tried to think about what he could’ve germinated with and he remembered when the puff of spores sent him into a coughing fit. John tried to keep from crying more “it’s not like I can just get rid of them” He whispered curled up in the corner of the couch.
“Woah woah, I would never ask you to do that.” Eddie joined him on the couch, seeing relax enough to approach. “I just hope this is something you want to do. But there is that option, right? Or do Abbies not have an option…” He placed his chin in his hands for thought.
“Anyways,” He shook his head. “For now, we’ll be going a few notches ahead of this relationship. Franky I’m more traditional: Date for a good year at the least, marriage, then kids, but we can work with this… Anything you need, I’ll get it, or do it. But we’ll need to know a few things first.” He pulled out his phone opening up a word document.
“We need to research how this germination pregnancy works. I assume this started from a plant seeing as we didn’t do it. We do know a few things,” Eddie started to type. “Usual fatigue, nausea, increased water intake, hyper growth since plants do grow fast… Am I missing anything?”
John thought it might be helpful if Eddie knew that if John chose to,he could slightly speed up the pregnancy if he chose to. “Maybe uh...this” John hovered a hand over his belly and put a bit of energy forward. He made a small noise as his belly swelled a little bit more than it was already. The slight growth only became known when his sweater seemed to lose a bit more space around his body. He looked uncomfortable after doing this,he’d even felt his chest get a bit heavier. “The babies are definitely plant-like” His voice was tired and he was still stressed out by his fragile mind. John seemed more tired even though it was barely afternoon. He felt bad for pushing all of this on Eddie,he’d never meant for this to happen. “the doctor said they’re growing pretty quickly,I’m at a normal human's 12th or 13th week of pregnancy for triplets” John had only felt sick for barely over a month,he still couldn’t help but feel guilty about being knocked up.
It surprised Eddie even more as John had somehow made his stomach grow more. He looked up at the man with sympathy. “Well don’t force it if it’s that uncomfortable.”
He started to gather more notes. He had found enough before coming to a conclusion. So basically what John was going through was like a hyper germination pregnancy, carrying more plant-like rather than human babies. John was a Botany Abnormal specializing in plants. He was a literal green thumb.
“What happens when an Abnormal becomes pregnant? How is an Abnormal pregnancy different from a human’s?”
But another thought clicked in his head. The shop. How were they going to manage the shop as John’s stomach grew? What explanation would they give the customers if John decides to continue to work?
“What are we going to do about Plant Palace?”
John thought for a moment and sighed “I have to keep working,it’s not like I can stop out of nowhere” he brushed his fingers through his hair “I don’t think most people know what I am,I’m sure you’ve seen me in more feminine outfits.” He placed a hand on his puffed tummy gently squishing it to feel the babies, “I probably won’t be able to work after a certain point though” he looked up at Eddie,John hadn’t expressed to Eddie his concern for the babies looking more abnormal than human. He feared what’d happen if they looked inhuman, but he shook the thought “ big clothes could work too,i've actually never met other abnormals who’re pregnant” he shrugged and looked at Eddie still searching for a trace of anger but he’d only found concern and sympathy.”most prolly find it too dangerous to have children while living in a regular town,the risk of the baby having anomaly in their hair face,or eyes is high.”
Eddie frowned, not really happy with the answer. It was odd but a wave of protectiveness was washing over him. He would rather John deal with this behind the scenes. He could take care of the place while John was ‘at his parents’. But it was his boyfriend who kept the shop alive, brought smiles to their customers. He hated the thought of any pregnant person working. He’d seen too many women at retail stores looking miserable on their feet having to deal with almost popping and still working.
“Fine, but if you feel anything wrong and I mean anything, you’re going on rest. I’ll take care of the shop. I’ll skip band practice to take care of you. I’m in the middle of writing an album and those take months to compose.” He made clear.
John nodded, kind of nervous about this switch in his boyfriend.
“You’ll have to appear feminine to pass this off. Unless we tell them your trans. We do know that one elderly lady is super nosy. But honestly it’s what you’re comfortable with. I won’t try to force anything about that on to you.”
He had to think. “We’ll cross the bridge when we get closer to the birth. What I need to know is the dangers of keeping them, since they are more than a full Abnormal. Because if we’re keeping them, then we’ve got to baby proof the place and get supplies.” Eddie continued to mumble, trying to figure out what they would need for three babies.
John nodded listening to his boyfriend.“Eddie...there’s a good chance they won’t be able to blend into human society” He felt shitty admitting that fact,he’d never willingly want to give them up,John wasn’t that kind of person. But he didn’t want them to be taken by the government for experiments. John placed his hands on his tummy rubbing it gently,he looked worried but more sad than anything. “I wouldn’t get our hopes up” His voice wavered for a moment,Bitty had hopped up on the couch again and lied next to John in an attempt to comfort him. John just needed some kind of comfort,still feeling uneasy about it all.
Eddie sighed. This really was difficult. What he was going to ask next was going to be hard. He didn’t want to ask, but they also needed to talk about it before it was too late or they would forget.
“Say we can’t keep them because they won’t look entirely human. I mean, I wouldn’t mind helping you raise them...”
He paused for a moment, feeling something odd in his chest. Well two things. One he knew right away as sinister. The singer had shocked himself that he would even feel this way. The other was harder to pinpoint.
“But if they couldn’t blend in, would there be a safe space for them to grow? A place you could visit and still see them as their parent?”
“I could try to find a safe haven for them,most abnormals escape America by going to Canada,it’s safer there and we don’t have as terrible discrimination.” He thought about how far away they lived from that type of network “I wouldn’t want to just abandon them,and would you really be okay with helping me raise them?” he kept rubbing his belly with concern. “I know some people who took care of me for a while kinda close,after...some family stuff happened when I was a kid” he cleared his throat and looked away “guess you could say my godparents might be able to take care of them” Johns stomach growled loudly and he blushed at the reminder he hadn’t eaten at all today,he sipped his ginger tea again. He pulled the cup away from his lips when the babies began to squirm a bit,and John stared at his tummy, partially delighted,but worried.“it looks like their active right now” John mumbled softly to Eddie “can we maybe discuss this later?...It’s already a lot to take in eddie” His tired eyes met Eddies,Johns pleading for some kind of distraction.
Eddie heard John's stomach grumble. Right! Everyone needed to be fed.
"Of course I'll be here for you. But for now let's put this on pause. I'll cook you something to eat. After, I gotta run to my place to grab my music notebooks and guitar. I'll be back after that. Then we can enjoy the rest of our day off before returning to work." He leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's cheek before getting up to cook what John requested.
He also ate a little bit before taking his keys and running over to his apartment for a moment to grab his stuff. He made sure John was comfortable before he left for a moment. The singer let out a shaky breath as he got into his car and drove 10 minutes down the road to his place. His hands were shaking as he drove, his brain going so fast trying to process everything. Parking in his driveway real quick, he gripped the steering wheel, inhaled, then let out the biggest and most painful scream he has ever voiced.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" He shouted. "BABIES!? I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A DAD LET ALONE HOW TO DEAL WITH-" He pointed in the opposite direction "THAT!?"
Eddie breathed heavily, trying to wipe the tears out of his eyes. He shouldn't be the one having a breakdown right now. John was more terrified. He was an abnormal having plant babies. Three of them. Eddie knew for sure he would never ever leave, but he really needed to express his human feeling without scaring his boyfriend further.
"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" He hit his steering wheel before turning off the truck and getting out.
One thing he was uncertain about was this anger out of nowhere. Maybe he was a little upset that John didn't tell him sooner, but he also couldn't blame him for it. He was upset because he felt that John was the one. So eventually down the line they could get married and adopt a few kids. But seeing as John can get pregnant, and is pregnant by a plant he can't help but feel jealous. He wanted to have kids with John first. Instead he lost to a fucking flower.
Inside he grabbed his sheet music, guitar and shot a quick email to his band saying he's taking a break for the next couple of months to work on the album before getting together to practice. His new focus was on John. After all this new album was dedicated to him.
He paused. The new song he came up with the night before. It wasn't just John's heartbeat he heard. It was also the babies. Now he really had to write that song just in case something did happen. That way John would have something to remember them by.
"Don't worry John. You aren't alone in this. I'm going to be the cool dad."
John was still sitting at home,he’d eaten and he felt slightly better but it wasn’t enough. He started the shower,locking the door and shakily letting out a breath as he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He lifted his shirt up to reveal his tummy.His stomach bulged out from his torso,he lightly slid his fingers across his skin. He became overwhelmed with emotions,he let out a soft whimper as warm tears fell from his chin. He threw the shower curtains open and stepped into the stream of lukewarm water,sitting down in the tub. John covered his face with his hands before letting out a heartfelt cry. “I’m sorry” He kept muttering and over,curled up in a ball as he sat in soaked clothes. Plants began to grow off of John, small vines began to cover the walls and covered John's skin. Little flowers blooming off of him and the vines “I can’t do this…”he yelled sullied by the sound of the shower.Not realizing that Eddie had just came through the front door,John couldn’t stop the tears;he’d wanted a family for so long but not like this. He felt like Eddie said he’d stick around just out of pity, he’d ruined their relationship. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d ruined it all. He snapped out of it when he felt the babies shifting around and it hurt this time. He feared he was stressing the babies out.
Okay so Eddie took a detour…. Maybe two detours, but it was so going to be worth it… maybe. He finally pulled up to John’s place and got out. He slung his guitar onto his back and grabbed the bags that held the surprise.
But when he stepped out, he felt something was off. The plants outside were looking wilted and dry. He quickly locked the truck and went inside.
“John?” He called out to nothing.
Bitty came running up to him meowing up a storm as if to scold him that he took too long or that something was wrong with John. He went with both. Quickly setting the bags down and taking off his instrument, he followed Bitty to the bathroom. He could hear water running and long gnarly looking vines popping out from under the door. Eddie panicked. He tested the knob and thankfully it was unlocked but then he opened the door he was face to face with a wall of dark vines.
“John? Where are you? I’m back!” He called out, hoping that he could get to his boyfriend.
If he knew that the man would get this upset, he wouldn’t have left and waited until he got home. He tried to reach out to tear the vines but they had thorns. Cursing under his breath, he had to think of something. The water was too loud for the occupant inside and the place was getting steamed with the hot water. It could wilt them further.
“Bitty, what do I do?” He asked the cat.
She murped at him again before going back to the door, rubbing up against his guitar case. A lightbulb went off inside his head.
“I hope your dad grows catnip because you deserve it.”
He ran over to his case and pulled out his guitar. It was a practice one, but electric like he usually used. He ran into the living room to find the sheet music he wrote down and started to play.
The soothing sound of guitar filled the living room as he inched closer to the wall of thorns. He remembered the melody of John’s heartbeat as well as the babies. It was one good skill he had that was music memory. He continued to play, leaning across the wall from the bathroom. Eddie held his breath as the vines started to unwind. Strumming the tune over and over, putting meaning to the melody, the little house started to come back to life. The plants were looking lively and wiggling around, as if they were dancing with his song.
Finally, after a few choruses, everything was back to normal except for a very tired and stressed out John. He was soaking wet in his clothes and his eyes were red with tears. Eddie set down his guitar and stepped into the bathroom, rushing over to turn off the water and find a towel. At this point, he didn’t care about seeing John naked. He needed help and he was going to do just that.
John didn’t say a word as he was helped out of the tub and stripped off his clothes. Eddie kept his mouth shut but still showed the frown of worry. Once John was dried off, He let him stand for a moment as the singer went to get clothes. John was finally dry and warmed back up after 10 minutes. Eddie wasn’t going to even bring up another upsetting thing. It was their day to relax.
“I’m sorry I’m late.” The dark haired man tried to keep his frustration in. “But I had to make a few stops.”
He left John alone to dry his hair as he went to get the bags. He set one down and pulled out a bunch of John’s favorite candies. “I know you love your sweets and now I know why, which means the babies do too. So I wanted to give you a congratulations gift in a way feeding all four of you.”
The second bag he set down and pulled out a very large maroon hoodie. It was lined with a warm fleece and looked very baggy. “Since you keep messing with your clothes and fall is around the corner, I assume you’ll be getting colder sooner because of the vegetation you have mixed in your blood. It should hide the pregnancy for a long time, and you look really hot in dark red.”
John gave a small smile at the comment and looked up at Eddie. “Thankyou Eddie” He’d finished drying his hair and was pretty pleased at the small gifts that his boyfriend brought home. “Listen I’m sorry about all of this” He sighed after putting on the large maroon sweater,it was comfortable. John had seemed a bit more calmed down,he adjusted the hoodie and sat down on the bed “but I guess we're just gonna have to deal with it” John motioned for Bitty to come up to him and she hopped into his lap. He picked her up and cradled her like a baby,thinking about the ones to come “I figured if we ever got far enough to marriage then we’d have kids,but..you know” John walked over to Eddie and leaned on him “I liked your song by the way” John loved the little family they had already with Bitty and Eddie. “ I’m lucky I have you and I’m grateful you chose to stay” John did have a fear that Eddie had decided to leave him,and that’s why he was gone so long.
Eddie relaxed, so relieved that John was calming down and accepted the gifts. They sat close, enjoying each other’s company. He blushed a little when John talked about marriage and kids.
“We can talk about details later, right now I’d want to focus on what we have now.” He let out a sigh.
His heart warmed when John complimented on his song. It melted further when John thanked him for staying. Eddie wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, bringing him closer for a kiss.
“I told you I wouldn’t leave. I’m not a deadbeat. I’ll help you in any way I can.” He smiled. “As for the song, I have to thank you and your little trio. The beats I heard last night are the base for the song I played. It’s going to be a work in progress but once i’m done with this project, I hope it’ll become your favorite.”
The two were blushing mad and once again, John’s stomach growled with hunger. The two ended up laughing, Eddie pulling out his phone to order a rich meal. John on the other hand snuck a few of the sweets while he watched his boyfriend order them a feast.
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helahades · 3 years
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the sexiest wip list
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alright! reminder that this is a dark fic blog. dark fics are not just noncon, but uncomfortable subject matter and questionable thought processes and unreliable povs. control your media experience and read warnings carefully! they’ll be updated when the actual story releases, but these are wips, and i don’t know them all bc I simply have not finished these stories!
some darker warnings on this list include: threats of sexual violence, obsession, death, and previously mentioned unreliable povs from obsessive characters who justify themselves.
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final reminder to read warnings! some of these are intense.
1) Jealous Thor (Untitled)
warnings: cheating, mean!reader, angst
You’re falling for Steve right under his nose. Each day, Thor feels you pull farther away. Each night, he squeezes his eyes shut as you lie asleep next to him, and tries to forget the way you lookat Steve these days with hunger and adoration that you once gave to him.
“He is earthly. For all his body’s and mind’s possession of unnatural experimental growth, he is earthly and limited, so Thor can’t understand why you’re drawing away from him, and telling Steve the jokes, giving Steve all the looks that had him hooked. The lingering eyes and touches… they ride the line of decency.”
2) Heimdall Angst (Untitled)
warnings: major character death, grief, existentialism, out of body experiences
Connected by incredible wisdom and duty to fate, you and The Gatekeeper of Asgard are pulled together by the unique pairing of your mutual seeing abilities—made for greatness, and destined for tragedy.
This story stretches from the moment that catalyzes your meeting, across the years of loving him, to the moment you lose him.
“A fateful tragedy. He sees an arrow through a dove.
He wonders how he missed your encounter with him in the whispers of the cosmos.
“—They’re star deaths,” you say abruptly, “the ones that move and change color. They speed up when you watch them—show their whole life to come...I read about them. Most can’t ever see them life this”.
Turning to where you stand beside him, his eyes swirl with the magic of knowing you, of your destinies combined. He sees you stare at his stars like they’re new.
“Only us.”
3) Away from the Party - Steve Smut
warnings: smut, dubcon, roughness, manipulation, unintentional exhibition
Steve hates these parties. After a mission, the work has just begun, and he fumes at the impossible way that Tony covers all problems in diamonds and pearls. Some things aren’t meant to be pretty.
You are. You’re soft, and kind, and you coax him gently away from the party—the source of his frustrations, with promises of leaving early, of calming down. Oh. He’ll calm down. And you’re just the toy to help. In a closet a corner away from the government’s finest, America’s golden boy has a hand on your throat and one demand.
“Keep quiet.”
“Of course, you both ended up at the party anyway, but with you swirling cool fingertips at his aching temples and rubbing softly over the stretch marks on his chest, he couldn’t find anything in heart to disagree with you then.
Even now with his erection pressed to you through barriers of clothing, with scarcely retrained and monstrous lust, he is steadily calmed by your presence. This rush, the secrecy—it excites him. And you pull him through the haze of it.”
4) Monster Thor Headcanons
warnings: wound and gore descriptions, some sadness
The fantasy of it all. Aesthetic, Lifestyle, Behavior. Some talking points include: hair, horns, hints about how he was influenced by a soft and charming lover many years ago, general horniness. Also spoiler that I’ve decided that He is 8ft tall
“Thor is...ancient. he is a being of war and folklore and raw energy and he’s earthy and elemental and connected. and form follows function. (and also whatever horny thoughts we want )”
5) The Call
warnings: voyeurism, death threats, obsession, implied sexual assault threats
When Frank comes to visit you, you beam like a sunflower. You’ve rearranged your room, and you’re excited about it. He would like to revel in the moment with you...but he’s caught up in one detail. Your bed is pushed against the window...and he can’t convince you to let him move it.
After a night of sin and wild lovemaking, you lie asleep bathed in moonlight, and Frank wakes to a call. Billy. He’s set up on a rooftop miles away, and he’s got things to say about Frank’s girl and what he’d like to do to her. A red dot on his chest means he can only listen. To your gentle snoring, and to the twisted fantasy of a brother unhinged.
“Black silk pajamas. Hair wrapped up in satin. Yellow light almost like sun stretches to the ceiling, but not quite over the rolling hills of your silhouette turned away from him in quiet sleep.
Frank’s hardly got the time to wonder why he’s awake, because his phone buzzes slow again. Pulls the moment he realizes he will have to break this magic peace to molasses and he half fills his lungs before huffing it out and flipping the phone open and tucked between his ear and shoulder.
“What.”
“She’s a reaaaaal pretty one, Frankie boy. You sure know how to pick em.”
6) Loki Longing (Untitled)
warnings: pregnant!fem reader, angst
On the Eve of the birth of Asgard’s heir, Thor is away. In a bath of flowers and magic to ease your pain, maidens worry over you, and Loki rescues you away, letting you rest in bed, and dreaming of the days when you were his lover instead.
“I’d like to rest…in my bed now, please.”
The ladies look to each other. It hasn’t been long enough for the herbs to take effect.
“My Queen,” the eldest starts—
“She is certainly your queen,” a silky silver timbre interrupts, “I’ve learned it’s best to mind her.”
His eyes fall to your form, and some blocked conflict—some guarded affection rests there. Some longing tucked in a pocket like an impossible secret.
7) With Child - Obsessive Steve
warnings: pregnant!fem reader, obsessive Steve
Watching you content, and very pregnant, as you gaze adoringly at your husband Thor from where you rest, half in his lap, Steve can’t help but fantasize. He thinks about impregnating you, the mechanics of sex with a pregnant woman, and being the god who does it all.
“Do you have to lie on your side? Is Thor just behind you, spooning you, fucking with desperate thrusts because you drive him so crazy this way? Steve has heard—and he doesn’t know where—that women get wetter when with child. Steve can’t help but wonder...does Thor need to hold one leg up for you—to save your back that’s so often heavy with the weight of supporting his legacy?”
8) Dean’s Girl
warnings: unreliable pov (john), voyeurism, masturbation + voyeurism
John notices the way you avoid him. You always seem to leave a room just as he’s coming into it. He’s living in the bunker now, and having to realize a lot of things that have changed for the both of his sons.
For example, his oldest, the last he’d ever think would fall in love, has got a pretty girl that dismisses her practical father in law with pointed boredom. She’s protective—how can he blame her after all that he’d put Dean through?
She’s pretty, and John is only a man, and can’t stop himself from just...looking. It starts with a convenient bend as she unloads the dishwasher...then he..can’t help that the door was open and she happened to be changing right there. He also can’t help it the next time when he’s just a little too obvious, pleasuring himself to the smell of her pretty lace panties.
9) Operator, Operator - Steve Smut
warnings: smut, financial troubles?, mentions of creepiness against and danger to sex workers, exhibitionism via phone call
Underpaid and overworked, you along with your roommate/secret crush/ best friend Steve have trouble making ends meet on minimum wage + his art commissions. When you start picking up calls on a phone sex line, he’s able to reason. It’s quick cash, and Steve is mature enough to keep his thoughts appropriate...at first.
One day, he wakes to the sound of breathy moans and a faked orgasms. He wonders how you would sound if only you were high on real pleasure...and there’s no time like the present. Don’t hang up. This call has only just started.
“By the time this year—junior year—swung around, Steve realized he was only catching glimpses of you. He would hear the shake of your keys when you tossed them on the counter, your backpack when it thudded to the floor, and most recently—your moans.
You must not know he’s home. Ever since you started online sex work, specifically being a phone sex operator, you seemed to also make the silent choice that more graphic calls would be saved for when he’s not around.
He gets it. You both split the rent, and Steve has done jobs he’d rather not mention in desperate times, when commissions came short. Still, sometimes you can’t tell when he’s here, and despite his best efforts to push down his arousal, to tell himself you’re his best friend...he’s an artist, and he can’t help but listen, and certainly not the wandering of his imagination.”
10) Professor Steve Medfet - (Untitled)
In an alternate timeline, a washed up Steve Rogers starts a new life in a run down city as an art / anatomy teacher. A class of hungry college students is filled to the brim each year, expecting the unspoken promise of their favorite hands on lab. You.
You keep his class sated, in turn giving the professor job security for funding his simple life out of the public eye. Each year when he calls, you come. Each year the students find a new way to tear you embarrass and degrade, much to the pleasure of the professor.
“Same speech. Same meaningless words. Focusing on the stillness of your skin and how it feels to be alone, you can almost drown out the way his tone edges toward excitement, the way the chairs shift and squeak—the anticipation.
Pretending your heart doesn’t send heat and cold flashes through you and run your breathing shallow, you look at the nicks in the door and try to guess their stories.
But then the metal frame clicks, the door unlatches. Professor Rogers wears a gentle smirk. It doesn’t ease your mind one bit.”
11) Swelter - Forest God Thor
warnings: sexual scenes, time limited conflict, religious themes
With a sickness overtaking nearby villages, yours is next, and has decided to sacrifice you to the cause of foraging for preventative herbs. You venture into the ancient woods after a rare vine of flowers, but leave with much more after encountering Thor.
After disturbing him where he lies cooling in the bank of a stream, you vow to prove the true intention of your soul—that you aren’t a hunter, or witch after his form or faculty, but a pious girl, also needing to escape the heat.
“You’re in the old woods now, and aside from the trees and the mossy nature tangled around them, there is only Him. Thor.
God of the harvest, bringer of land’s wealth, fertility, and vitality. You know of the sacrifices, of the woods where He is rumored to live in an unseen form, of livid white fire in the sky if He is severely displeased.
His name must not be spoken outside of prayer or ritual, and even now, you stutter to think it, and wonder if you are alone in your thoughts.”
[...]
“The frustration and the fear in your dilemma disturb the air, disquieting the otherwise enduring peace of the old woods, which rouses a large form in the cool muddy bank of the stream. It is only leaves shifting at first. Faded pumpkin and dried oak scatter—and suddenly the air smells like rain and your mouth sets around the tastes of copper and sage. Then, the leaves tumble off of a beast of a mass that rises slowly, and you note that it felt like the atmosphere changed to accommodate its awakening.”
12) Halloween Party - Thor Smut (Untitled)
warnings: smut, heartbreak, depressed!reader
An exclusive and mysterious Halloween party is still on this year—and you’re invited. It’s meant to be so extravagant and flashy an Avenger will one day attend, and all attendees decorate themselves in costumes inspired by the heroes, hoping to be noticed.
Fresh after a breakup with your boyfriend Brock, you take one half of the preordered couples costume and dress up as a goddess, determined to have a good night with your friends, find some excitement, and most importantly, a new god to match.
“Standing solemn, floor to ceiling windows allow in a few milky rays reflected by the moon, but they’re all the gems of your bodice need to gleam to a suitor's eye. Tonight, while you plan to rid your soul of another, you are welcomed with open arms and careful consideration as the final offering at an altar. You are seen by a god.”
13) Grief
warnings: dead!reader, guilt, grief, scary science, how do i say this... smut that is borderline necroph—there’s a replica of you, dark!steve, tony lives, pepper dies
Steve’s world is upside down. He’s lost the light of his life, and is completely in the dark. Luckily for him, Tony is back in the business of reality rejecting technology, and has found a way for him to be with you again.
At an abandoned cottage, Steve brings an armful of your scents to give the Tony’s invention sensory data, and faces the strange reality of what’s always been his worst stage...his worst trait. Denial.
“Dozens of test bottles full of manufactured scents, the kind of thing you smell borrowing a sweater, or with your face in the crook of someone’s neck. Essentially, the sort of organic thing that cannot be recaptured.
Steve’s got an armful of perfume and body wash. Of conditioner and deodorant, of all the elements he can think that make you smell the way you would—the way you do.
He wills the thoughts to be present tense. If he pretends you are alive, maybe it will look like it is you only sleeping. He wonders how well Tony knows the texture of your hair suddenly, because if it isn’t right, the experience will fall to shambles. It currently walks a plank over shambles. One wrong interpretation or surprise, and Steve will find himself spinning and burning with the fall into a new and uncharted taboo.”
14) Night Drive - Dean Smut
warnings: road head
On a long overnight drive, your back pressed into the seat of the impala makes you miss lying in bed with your lover, makes you miss his gentle caress right next to you...so you remind him how good it is to be close.
“You think about it when he hums a little tune. When he hums the song he wishes would play and thinks will come up next, it is eerily soft, and eerily similar to the soft contentment he sighs when you kiss on his neck.
When he reaches for your hand to hold, it makes you consider the shortness of the distance between you, and you think of pulling his cock out right here, giving him head that melts him here on this endless road.
Looking at him, he senses your interest—he turns his head to meet your eyes, throws up a grin of boyish charm. He’s happy to be here with you. These night drives are fine. He’s never minded them. But they’re even lovelier when in your company.”
15) Shadow - The Bucky Mystery
warnings: stalking, injury, sexual assault, canon typical hydra torture, mentions of bucky being forced to assault people, traumatized reader
On the run from Hydra, there aren’t many things that Bucky can remember. Inside his mind, there aren’t many feelings that make sense. Mostly, he feels guilt. Horror.
Following you to the gym where you practice ballet alone in the nights is all that makes sense, and for reasons he can’t explain, he feels drawn to you.
As time goes on, Bucky feels more enticed by his desire, you start to feel eyes staring from the walls, motivations and traumas are revealed, and in a horrible symphony, you both remember your connection.
“He’s a matte shadow against the noir shine of metal walls—an observer in the unlit quiet on his side of the room.
And he feels his unimportance. It’s humbling. Holds up the room like chunky beams and high rafters, dressed in the same layered neutrals. Framing the same cotton candy dancer, silent as the pad of her slippers when she turns her weight onto a straight leg, other coming up with her ankle pointed to the bend of her knee.
She spins, she spins and she whips her head around with each one, but it’s Bucky who gets dizzy.”
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send an ask with any questions, or for more details about a particular story!
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myinconnelly1 · 3 years
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A Life Unlived: Life Goes On Pt 4
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Masterlist / Previous
Word Count: 1708
A/N: Season 4 - 5 good luck don’t murder me  Emily.... don’t fucking murder me; this is the end of Life Goes on
Warnings: smut, themes of cheating, canon gore, angst- oh so much angst, implied character death (canon), misuse of god/goddess from other religions (canon)
June 2009
“Dean?  Where’s Sam?”  Myin asked as she opened the motel room door to see the beaten down hunter.  “Did you find him?  Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,”  Dean said, not moving from the doorway.  I found him, but I was too late.  Myin I failed.  I didn’t stop him.”
“The Devil?”  Myin whispered before pulling Dean in the motel room and hugging him tightly.  “I don’t think you were ever supposed to succeed.
“Fuck destiny!”  Dean shouted causing Myin to let go and take a step back.  “Sorry.  There is more,”  He said quieter.  “The horsemen of the apocalypse came with the devil from Hell.”
“Wait,”  Myin said looking around.  She seemed unphased by the news of the horsemen.  “Where’s Sam?  Is he…”
“He’s alive,”  Dean said realizing the Myin had started crying.  He pulled her against his chest and held her there.  “After killing Lilith I don’t think he thought the other hunters would let him live.  He left, he’s hiding.  Oh,”  Dean pulled a letter from his pocket.  “He gave me this for you,”
“So what now?  Are you going to hide too?”  Myin asked as she put the letter in a drawer by the bed.
“No, I’m going to keep hunting.  I can’t stop now that Lucifer is out in the world free to raise hell,”  Dean flopped unceremoniously onto the motel bed.  “Can I stay here with you?”  He asked quietly as the bed dipped and he rolled next to Myin.
“For as long as you want,”  She replied and kissed his hand before holding it tight to her breast.
Dean would come and go often for hunts, but Myin was flexible with her life.  She had always planned everything out in the past with Jay, and then with Sam.  But now, she wasn’t going to hurt herself by doing things the way she always had before.  She often wondered why Castiel freed her from her agreement with him, and if it had anything to do with her and Dean getting together, but regardless their relationship had been a byproduct of the situation.
Dean would stay with her at the motel when she was working at the hospital and he would come and stay with her and her kids when she was off from work.  They both new that the relationship had been rushed, but neither of them really cared, and both found it very comfortable.  Dean had a way with Dani and Penny that put her mother in law at ease, and their relationship seemed to flourish despite Sam’s non-arrival after his disappearance.
August 25, 2009
“Myin?”  Dean called from the motel room.
“I’m in the bathroom,”  She responded quietly.
“Listen, I know things have been going pretty well for us,”  Dean said sighing and leaning his head against the wall of the bathroom door.  “But I had a dream- Zachariah zapped me to the end of the world, well after the end really.  I have to go… Myin I can’t stay here.  I have to find Sam.  I have to stop him.  I can’t let the Devil win.”
“I understand,”  Myin said, without leaving the bathroom.
“I’ll come back when it’s over.  Please keep the girls safe?”  Dean said before walking out the motel door.
“I’ll keep everyone safe,”  Myin said staring at the two pink lines on the pregnancy test in her hands.  “Well, kiddo, I don’t know what we’re going to do right now, but we will get through this.”
November 2009
“Myin, have you heard from Dean or Sam?”  Castiel asked as his wings fluttered into her office at the hospital.
“Christ, Castiel, you scared me!”  Myin exclaimed from behind her computer.  “Dean or Sam, no I haven’t heard from them in months.  Why?  Are they okay?”
“They went to Ohio, but I haven’t heard from them in a few days and I was hoping they had called you or something.  You and Dean were close last time I saw you,”  the angel said looking at her with a knowing look.
“No, I haven’t talked with them, since Dean’s encounter with Zachariah.  He was supposed to call me when they were safe,”  Myin said looking at a picture of her daughters on her desk.
“Sorry to bother you,”  Castiel said before disappearing.  Myin looked around her office before sitting down to type a letter for her boss.
“I have to leave, you can send me on an extended sabatical or I can resign,”  Myin said as she handed her letter to her supervisor.  “I’m sorry to say that I won’t be able to give you two weeks notice, but everything is in order that this location can run itself for almost a month with very little maintenance from me, and you already knew I was going to be leaving in a few months.”
“I will accept your resignation under the stipulation that you will come back to work for me when you have your affairs in order,”  Her boss said.  “I’ve never had someone that fit in as well as you did.”
“Thank you, I hope to see you soon,”  Myin said exhaling.
It weeks for Myin to track the brothers.  She started in Ohio, after settling things with her mother in law and her daughters, and finally caught up with them in Massachusetts after Christmas.
“Sam?”  Myin asked as she caught him at a bar in a small town called Housatonic.  He was drinking a frozen fruit drink with a look of astonishment and playing with his hair in the mirror behind the bar.  “Sam?” She had to walk over to him and put a hand on his arm to get his attention.
“Oh hey, sorry.  I was uh… distracted,”  He said looking down at her awkwardly.
“Are you and Dean okay?  Castiel was trying to find you, and we were all worried,”  Myin asked trying to get him to look her in the eye.
“Oh yeah we’re fine, totally and completely fine.  No need to worry about anything,”  He said nonchalantly.
“Uh huh, so you and Dean worked things out then?  You’re okay with me and him.  He told you about the baby?”  Myin questioned, finally seeing his eyes.  She knew they weren’t Sam’s.
“Oh yeah, pfftt,”  He threw his hand out to brush off her statement physically.  “Why wouldn’t I be okay with it.  You guys were made for each other,”
“Right,”  Myin said.  “Where’s Sam?”
“What?”  The fake Sam said eyes going wide.  Myin’s phone rang, distracting her from her interrogation.
“I’ll be right back,”  She told fake Sam firmly.  “Don’t leave.”  She walked out of the bar to answer the phone call from Bobby.
“Would you like to do the sex with me?”  Gary asked the beautiful blonde sitting at the bar near him, and was able to convince her to leave with him.
“Shit, Bobby.  I just found Sam what’s up?  What do you mean I need to get out of here?”  Myin said looking around before realizing the uncomfortable feeling she’s had since she got to this town was the same one she would get when her father would cast magic.  “Alright old man, I’m out of here, don’t be so cranky.”
March 2010
~I don’t know what, something just isn’t right.  It was pouring rain as Myin sat in front of her computer messaging an international friend.
~remember how I told you that you worry too much?  Myin scoffed at way that Emily dismissed Myin’s danger.  She couldn’t blame the woman.  She live in a different world, and it wasn’t like Myin could tell her it was all true.  She rubbed her baby bump wondering for the millionth time if Dean was going to call her that night.  But as the hours crept on, she was starting to feel like it wasn’t likely.
~you know that feeling when someone is there but can’t be real?  Myin typed and sent before feeling power unlike she had ever felt.
“I’m taking pity on you mortal.  Normally, I wouldn’t care what happened to someone like you.  But your friend is very dedicated in her prayers,”  A stunning woman of Indian decent stood in Myin motel room.
“Who are you?”  Myin asked as she stood and dropped her laptop on the floor in favor of a pistol.
“Kali, now put that down before you make a mistake,”  The goddess gestured to her firearm.  “The Winchesters are going to face off against the Devil.  Their plan is foolhardy but it’s the only chance they have.”
“Why are you telling me this?”  Myin asked, holding her belly to soothe the squirming child.
“Let’s just say I owed someone a favor, and I didn’t want it to linger.  You need to protect yourself and your children.  Stop looking for the brothers.  And don’t trust any angels.”  She handed Myin a piece of paper with a weird symbol on it.  “Put this up in ever corner of your home and stay there.  Nothing will come inside that isn’t invited.”  Kali glanced at Myin’s computer.  “She’s wrong.  You don’t worry too much.  You should be thankful to have someone like her in your life.”
“Wait what about-”  Myin looked around as the goddess disappeared from her home.  Then flopped onto her couch and pulled the laptop back on to her lap.
~What the correct way to thank a goddess for saving your life?  Myin asked her Hindu specialist.  She needed to give Emily a hug, the woman couldn’t possible know how much she had just saved her neck.
May 2010
Myin stared at the message on her phone as Jody sat and cooed at the new born baby girl.
~We won, I lost.  I won’t be back.  Dean
Myin wasn’t sure how she was going to get back on her feet now that Sam was dead and Dean was gone.  Jody brought the baby over to her to nurse, and Myin cuddled her daughter knowing in her heart this was the safest thing for her child.  If no one knew that her father was a Winchester that was better.
“What are you gonna name her?”  Jody asked sitting down near her.
“Jenny,”  Myin said, keeping her obscure Disney name trend going to keep suspicions low.  “Jenny Connelly.”
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inkribbon796 · 3 years
Text
I Thought We Were Brothers Ch. 1: Wish I Could Relive Every Single Word
Summary: Marvin and Chase have a lot of unspoken grievances between each other and neither of them know what to do about it.
A/N: For Marvin’s birthday. Chapter title from the song “Brother” by Kodaline.
Chapters: 1, 2
Marvin knew he should say something. Anything at this point was better than the growing chasm opening up between him and several of the Septics. J.J and Henrik were civil on a good day but Chase was a different matter.
It started way before time travelers came came back with grim news, or Marvin first voiced the want to train Chase’s daughter in magic. It began with Robbie.
Sweet, innocent Robbie.
Marvin would never apologize or regret raising the young teen from the dead. He couldn’t.
The magician had looked the young man’s mother dead in the eyes and swore that he’d protect Robbie. Had sworn on his magic and own soul that he would do everything in his power to always bring him back to her alive. And Marvin had done just that, he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he hadn’t tried.
But that night had left Marvin and Chase on unspoken bad terms. Chase ceased trusting Marvin, had started drinking again, and then cleaned himself up a couple months after. The atmosphere, forever spoiled.
After the incident with the Suits, Marvin had ceased trusting Chase as well. Chase now had a part of Clubs forever buried in his soul, and it showed in little ways. His beard was getting trimmed instead of him just allowing it to go wild until he shaved it back. He’d gotten a gun, a real one, and was hiding it in his room in the base. None of the heroes tried to talk about it, but many of them knew it was there. The marksman sometimes made especially barbed jabs at Marvin when he was tired or too exhausted to keep his filter up. Then there was the matter of Dark.
Marvin had seen the look in Chase’s eyes whenever Damien was on the news. Chase was especially anxious whenever Marvin got near any of Dark’s kids. Even if those kids were King and Host. Dark was more willing to hold long conversations with Chase, and Chase had been caught by Marvin on more than one occasion texting Dark.
There was something growing between Dark and Chase and everyone was too busy walking on eggshells to confront either party about it.
Well Marvin was sick of watching his friend group tear itself apart. He needed to talk to Chase, before the guy did something stupid.
Marvin walked into the comms room. Chase was in there with Tommy and King.
“This job always as borin’[1] as shit?” Tommy asked.
King chuckled, “Yeah but so long as you’re listening to the feed you can be on your phone or work on stuff. Logan and Bing once built a transforming roomba from the ground up during a couple comms sessions. It’s why Logan likes to be in here, he gets his little side projects done.”
While King and Tommy were talking, Chase immediately noticed that Marvin had opened the door and was just staring at him.
“Hey Chase, can we talk?” Marvin asked.
“Logic, takin’[2] a smoke back,” Chase scoffed into the microphone and stood up, “King, yeh[3] have seniority, call us if anythin’[4] happens.”
“Yes, finally!” King smiled in joy and threw his arms up as Tommy groaned in annoyance, flopping back in his chair and rolling his eyes. “I got it!”
Without a word, Chase stepped out and quietly motioned for Marvin to follow him and took him out to the little smoking area. There Chase lit up a cigarette and took a deep lungful of nicotine laced smoke, before even acknowledging Marvin’s presence, “What do yeh[3] want?”
“I wanna talk,” Marvin reminded. “Why do yeh[3] think I followed yeh[3] out here yeh[3] bollocks[5]?”
Chase took a seat, “Fine, what yeh wanna go on about?”[6]
“Look, I know we don’t usually talk, but we need ta[7] talk about somethin’[8],” Marvin told him.
The marksman gave an amused chuckle, “Nah, we don’t have anythin’ ta talk about. Just go back ta yer books Marv.”[9]
“Yeh[3] hate me, so we got shite[10] ta[7] talk about,” Marvin told him.
“You murdered Stacy an’[11] the kids, ‘a[12] course I fookin’[13] hate yeh[3]!” Chase ripped the cigarette out of his mouth and stomped towards him.
Marvin flinched and Chase pulled away, “An’ sure yeh didn’t this time, but yeh did the other times, yeh did before they came back. Yeh set an entire city on fire, killed hundreds ‘a people. What am I supposed ta say ta yeh?”[14]
“I know,” Marvin called back, terror in his voice. “I know an’ don’t know what the fook was wrong with me ta brin’ me ta that point. That is hundreds ‘a thousands ‘a people who did nothin’ ta deserve the horror ‘a fookin’ burnin’ ta death!”[15]
“I don’t remember what was wrong with yeh[3],” Chase shot back, still angry. “I got stuck with that fooker’s[16] feelings, not his memories.”
The two of them fell quiet, the air nasty and injured between them.
Marvin felt like poison was bubbling in this throat. “The fook[17] happened ta[7] us?”
“Yer gonna have ta be specific,”[18] Chase asked curtly.
“I wanted ta[7] learn magic an’[11] hunt ghosts,” Marvin raked his hands down his face. “I didn’t want ta[7] save the world an’[11] deal with the fact I fooked[19] the future so bad it had ta[7] be fixed.”
“Yeah,” Chase frowned, before his phone went off. Chase pulled it out to see a text had shown up. It was Mori, in the water, near some tunnels with a fish in his mouth, the photo taken from the shoreline which meant Memento or Tempus had probably taken the picture.
The picture got a tiny breathy laugh from Chase, and a small smile. His kids seemed to be having fun, they didn’t seem to be getting into some big trouble. Yet, at least.
“They usually text yeh[3]?” Marvin asked, trying to make his tone sound less hostile.
“Yeah,” Chase’s expression turned bittersweet, he started texting Dark with an update. “Helps ta have a second pair ‘a eyes on ‘em. They tend ta slip out ‘a the Manor or the warehouses when Dark’s not watchin’. An’ that’s on a day when Wil doesn’t just sweep ‘em away an’ cause trouble with ‘em.”[20]
“Why are yeh in charge ‘a watchin’ ‘em?”[21] Marvin asked, completely confused. “Can’t those two just rise an’[11] repeat what they did with the other six? I mean if yeh[3] can handle raising six fookin’[13] demons in secret, three seem like no big deal.”
Chase paused, his fingers still. They were going to figure it out eventually. King already knew, he’d confided that in Chase already. “Cause[22] they’re mine, Marv.”
Marvin spent the next minute trying to figure out if Chase was joking, and then another minute trying to figure out how that was possible since they were demons and Chase was still human.
But a nagging feeling tickled the back of his head: was he still human?
Logan and the other Sides had been demons since the first moment he had met them and no one had been the wiser. Not even the Sides, and Marvin should have known. He should have taken one look at Virgil and more importantly Remus and known. Chase could be a demon, he could not know, and fly under every kind of test and radar known to magic itself. Hell, Patton and Roman still came up as humans for those tests.
“Do— Does uh,” Marvin floundered for an adequate response, because what the hell was he supposed to say to that! “Does Dark know?”
“Yeah, he’s the one who told me,” Chase was moving his cigarette back up to his lips. “Don’t know if he told the rest ‘a[12] his kids but they all know too. King said as much.”
“So what now?” Marvin asked.
Chase let out an ugly, contemptuous snort, “What about now?”
“Dark’s got yer[23] kids, is there another custody battle comin’[24] up?” Marvin winced at the memory of Chase’s last custody battle, one he had lost handedly.
“They’re Dark’s kids, he’s the most powerful bein’[25] in all Egoton, there’s nothin’[26] ta[7] fight against, Marv,” Chase dismissed, rolling his cigarette around in his mouth.
“Chase, no yeh can’t just roll o’er an’ just—”[27] Marvin spat.
“Calm yer[23] fookin’[13] tits, Marv,” Chase scoffed. “Dark an’[11] I have somethin’[8] set up. I see ‘em[28] more than I see my human kids.”
Marvin shoved his hands in his pockets, not sure what to do with them. “Okay, that’s good at least. So did yeh an’ Dark talk about stuff then. I know that the Clubs version ‘a yeh was with him in the future.”[29]
“I don’t have a future with Dark anymore,” Chase snarled. “He’s with Wil.”
“Wil cheats on him with practically the entire town,” Marvin reminded.
“I know!” Chase slammed his fist on the bench before raking his fingers down his face. “Yeh[3] think I haven’t noticed that bubblegum bastard perched on his arm, being the fookin’[13] shittiest arsehole[30] in the whole fookin’[13] world?”
Marvin opened his mouth but Chase turned and started on a tirade, “Dark is loyal ta[7] him. He fookin’[13] raised those kids almost by himself. An’[11] what does he get in return? The fooker[31] rips his heart out an’[11] leaves. It pisses me off.”
“I thought they said Wil died?” Marvin asked and all the momentum bled out of Chase’s system.
“Yeah he did,” Chase corrected himself. “Fook![17] I did it again.”
“Did what again?” Marvin asked.
“I say weird thin’s[32], I do weird thin’s[32],” Chase dismissed. “Yesterday I made like three different coffees, one fer me, one fer Eef, an’ another fer Dark. Crank wasn’t e’en in that day, an’ why the hell should I be makin’ a fookin’ coffee fer Dark? I was in the base.”[33]
“Wasn’t future yeh datin’ him or fookin’ him or somethin’?” Marvin asked.
“I think he was gonna[34] propose,” Chase admitted.
Marvin just stared at Chase, “What? How do yeh[3] know?”
“I caught myself lookin’[35] at rings,” Chase admitted. “Tryin’ ta find somethin’ that looks nice with red an’ blue. Not that it’s ‘a any use now.”[36]
“How much do yeh[3] remember or feel?” Marvin asked, coming closer and taking a seat next to Chase.
“I don’t have memories, just his feelin’s[37],” Chase frowned in thought. “Frustration, anger, love. Future me was so smitten with Dark that I know he was killin’ fer him. The weight ‘a my guns feel off now. Whene’er I look at Mori an’ Memento I feel so upset ‘cause they’re with Wil an’ they’re so big an’ it eats at me. Wilford fookin’ stole my kids an’ changed ‘em, an’ I’m supposed ta stand by an’ watch his aura keep changin’ ‘em.”[38]
“Have yeh tried talkin’ ta Dark about this?”[39] Marvin questioned.
“An’[11] tell him what?” Chase demanded. “That I fookin’[13] hate his guts an’[11] I wanna[40] take him out on a date ta[7] this nice curry place I saw on my last patrol at the same time. That I think his boyfriend is awful fer[41] him an’[11] I wanna[40] put a hollow point right between his fookin’[13] eyes?”
Marvin was trying to find some way to comfort or calm Chase down as he kept rambling. “Yah know maybe I should march my arse o’er ta his office an’ tell him that I hate wakin’ up in the morning. That when I wake up, I can’t stand it when my bed is fookin’ empty. That someone is supposed ta be in my bed with me an’ I just lay there fer hours ‘cause I can’t leave until he knows I’m there.”[42]
“Yeah, Marv, Dark would love that,” Chase laughed sadly. “Big, powerful mob boss would love some sad alcoholic who can barely hold himself together long enough ta[7] get out ‘a[12] bed in the mornin’[43]. That’ll really get his attention.”
“Well he must’a liked somethin’ ‘cause he was datin’ yeh,”[44] Marvin tried to offer.
“Wil was dead,” Chase reminded. “He’s alive an’ kickin’ now. Dark’s not gonna e’en look my way if Wil’s alive.”[45]
Marvin and Chase went quiet again. Unsure how to help either of them.
Fortunately for Marvin, he didn’t have to. King called them both back in. City hall wanted Average, Marvin, and Jackie to come in for a meeting.
Marvin saw the tense look in Chase’s eyes but he agreed and the two of them set off to meet Jackie at City Hall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Accessibility Translations:
1. boring
2. taking
3. you
4. anything
5. balls
6. Fine, what do you want to talk about?
7. to
8. something
9. Nah, we don’t have anything to talk about. Just go back to your books Marv.
10. shit
11. and
12. of
13. fucking
14. And sure you didn’t this time, but you did the other times, you did before they came back. You set an entire city on fire, killed hundreds of people. What am I supposed to say to you?
15. I know and don’t know what the fuck was wrong with me to bring me to that point. That is hundreds of thousands of people who did nothing to deserve the horror of fucking burning to death!
16. fucker’s
17. fuck
18. You’re going to have to be specific
19. fucked
20. Helps to have a second pair of eyes on them. They tend to slip out of the Manor or the warehouses when Dark’s not watching. And that’s on a day when Wil doesn’t just sweep them away and cause trouble with them.
21. Why are you in charge of watching them?
22. Because
23. your
24. coming
25. being
26. nothing
27. Chase, no you can’t just roll over and just—
28. them
29. Okay, that’s good at least. So did you and Dark talk about stuff then. I know that the Clubs version of you was with him in the future.
30. asshole
31. fucker
32. things
33. Yesterday I made like three different coffees, one for me, one for Eef, and another for Dark. Crank wasn’t even in that day, and why the hell should I be making a fucking coffee for Dark? I was in the base.
34. going to
35. looking
36. Trying to find something that looks nice with red and blue. Not that it’s of any use now.
37. feelings
38. Frustration, anger, love. Future me was so smitten with Dark that I know he was killing for him. The weight of my guns feel off now. Whenever I look at Mori and Memento I feel so upset because they’re with Wil and they’re so big and it eats at me. Wilford fucking stole my kids and changed them, and I’m supposed to stand by and watch his aura keep changing them.
39. Have you tried talking to Dark about this?
40. want to
41. for
42. You know maybe I should march my ass over to his office and tell him that I hate waking up in the morning. That when I wake up, I can’t stand it when my bed is fucking empty. That someone is supposed to be in my bed with me and I just lay there for hours because I can’t leave until he knows I’m there.
43. morning
44. Well he must have liked something because he was dating you
45. He’s alive and kicking now. Dark’s not going to even look my way if Wil’s alive.
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floweryfreelance · 4 years
Text
𝕴𝖓𝖌𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖆 𝕽𝖊𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖚𝖘
CHAPTER FOUR
Table of Contents
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 |
This work of fiction is an original collaborative work between tumblr users @theearltrancy and @floweryfreelance. Its original format was in that of a roleplay, and has been edited to be a more cohesive story. This work was created on 11.10.20 and completed on 11.30.20.
Please consider following each author for more fictional works.
-
Ciel made his way up the grand staircase in the center of the foyer, admiring paintings on the walls as he made his way down the hallway towards his own bedroom. As he walked, growing closer and closer to Alois’ old spare room, he heard voices. Ah, he must have been right. That cocky demon butler of his must be getting a stern talking to. He smirked.
Feeling too mature to stand with his ear against the door, Ciel simply slowed his walking pace, tuning his ear just in case he was able to pick up anything being said inside the room. And what he heard, well, it certainly didn’t sound pleasant.
Inside the room was Alois’ voice quickly reaching a louder and louder pitch. He once saved his anger for Hannah, but the roles had reversed now, the man’s now deeper voice rattling things in the room. He could feel himself getting too heated, but the demon couldn’t feel pain; he was keenly aware. 
“No, I don’t care, you absolute wretch!” He screamed, taking his own shoe from earlier and tossing it at the butler’s head. He dodged, the object smacking the wall behind him. “I will do things in my own time, do you understand? I will not be a pawn for your f*cking problems anymore! Not tonight, not ever!” 
Claude’s response was low and threatening, almost as if he were still disciplining a child. In fact, he seemed to think that’s exactly all he was doing. The dismissive attitude only angered him more. “Your Highness… If you do not have the drive to take that man from that wretched butler, you will only be stuck with me longer. It is beneficial for us both that you complete your contract, and that means you must take the boy.”
“For you! Always for you! I signed that contract thinking I would get something out of it! Maybe a companion, for god’s sake!” Alois screeched, knowing now he could be heard from outside of the room. “But all you’ve done is lie to and cheat me! I wanted you to take me!” 
“You know I cannot do that until you find a way to take him. Even if you isolate him, I can leave. I can make it a pleasurable experience for you.” 
“But that’s not what you really want, is it?” The man retorted, cooling into sass. “Get the hell out of here. And take your god damn attitude too. That’s an ORDER.” 
The door opened moments later, revealing an emotionless Claude if not slightly annoyed, and a simply vicious Alois with his arms crossed on his chest. The demon nodded at Ciel as if nothing had happened, but a peek in the room would show that was not the case. The blonde had been throwing all his things around, tearing his clothes from the closet onto the floor now, a flurry of a man. Though grown now, it was at times as if all he had grown was taller.
Ciel couldn’t mask his searing glare at the butler as he walked past, perhaps partially compensating for just how shaken he felt after hearing their words, particularly Claude’s. He really would give anything to just see him dead, wouldn’t he? As is the nature of such a contract.
Seeing Alois in this fragile state, knowing he hadn’t been noticed quite yet, he quietly stepped into the room, looking at the clothes on the floor. “..You’ve made a mess.” He noted, bending down to pick up a deep purple coat that had been crumpled on the floor. “Did you notice?” He inquired, looking up at the distressed blond man before him. “These clothes, they’re yours from all those years ago. I left them.” He inspected the sleeves. “I’m frankly surprised there aren’t more moth holes.”
In his experience, Ciel knew the best way to approach Alois during these fits of rage was calmly. In fact, his presence typically helped to calm him down regardless.It pained him to see him like this. In the past, he found his tantrums childish and annoying, but since growing to understand him, they just hurt to see. However, he always kept a slight distance until he could tell if he was still in the heat of the moment. And so, Ciel stood still, gently holding the small boy’s coat in his hand while looking at his love.
He took a step closer, standing so that his leg was just brushing Alois’ arm as he sat on the ground. He crouched beside him, still holding the purple coat. His mind wandered, trying to find the right words to say.
“..I.. lied earlier.” Ciel admitted, rubbing the coat fabric between his thumb and forefinger. “I didn’t leave this room untouched. I had it cleaned everyday.” It was embarrassing to admit, he felt, but he wanted to ground Alois. He wanted to remind him he was wanted and loved and desired. He could withstand feeling embarrassed for a minute or two. “The maid dusted everyday, changed the sheets once a week. And by the looks of it, kept your old clothes ironed. How she did all that everyday, I don’t know.”
He stood once again, looking around the room he hadn’t stepped foot into in eight long years. It truly looked as though it was in present use, not a speck of dust or a single stain anywhere to be found. Impressive, he thought to himself. “I remember sneaking in here.” Ciel couldn’t help but smile softly. “On the nights when you were too stubborn to come to my room, and waited here until I grew impatient enough to sneak into yours.” 
The thought brought a small smile to the man’s face, though he betrayed none of that information to the other. He did lift his head, though, taking a look around at the hell he had created. Though his anger had once again caused destruction, he couldn’t help but notice the man was correct - the room was dusted, polished, and comfortable. His old clothing was flawlessly ironed, and he remembered that before he’d been triggered, it was in fact all folded and hung just the way it was when he was a teen. He let some of the tension in his body go, taking one hand from his head to rest his arm on his knee. 
“We took turns.” He recalled, still breathing heavily but coming back to the room slowly, “I liked to play. You made it easy.” He looked his lover in the eyes. “We were so small.” The man sighed, looking away to the clothes on the floor surrounding him, noting he had also made a small dent in the wall behind them with his heel. 
Note to self. Aim better next time.
“We did play.” Ciel agreed, standing and walking to the wardrobe, hanging the purple coat back in the closet. The remaining clothes could be taken care of in the morning, as they were the least of his concerns. The white night clothes set out on the bed caught his eye, though upon closer inspection, he noticed there were two pairs. He smirked, that idiot, he thought, knowing Sebastian must have thought it would be amusing to prepare for what they all knew would happen.
Turning back to Alois, he held out his hand and leaned his cane against the wardrobe. “Here now, stand up. We don’t have our butlers to dress us,” he said sarcastically. “But we can’t sleep in our dinner attire.”
Smiling gently to himself now, Alois took another deep breath and stood up, dusting himself off. He bit his lip, planning his next move, for they were finally truly alone. The man took a good few solid steps towards the other until they were impossibly close. The sudden movement pressed his lover against the closed door of the closet, placing an arm on the other side so that the man couldn’t escape him. 
“I suppose we can’t.” He acknowledged, placing his free hand under the other’s chin. This being the first time since they were young teenagers, he added, “Hm, seems I’m still taller than you.” 
If there were any way he knew how to transition out of an intense emotion, it was straight through another one - lust. Even as an adult, he only had three modes - indifferent, violent, and reveling in sin. 
“So. Dress me.” He ordered.
The cool of the wood door against his back counteracted the heat filling his body. Eight years had passed since he was spoken to like this, touched like this. The Earl honestly thought he would never experience anything like it again, so long as he lived.
His heart pounded in the chamber of his chest, and he wondered if the other man could feel it too. His jaw shifted as he swallowed hard, feeling the warm fingers of his lover caressing his chin. Ciel melted for him, just like he always did. “Don’t order me around..” he protested, the tone of his voice eager and excited but attempting to hide behind a disguise of stubbornness.
Without taking his eyes off of him, Ciel cautiously reached up to Alois’ chest, grasping the buttons of his overcoat and beginning to undo them. His hands visibly shook and he cursed himself for it, it was as if it were the first time all over again. 
“And if I do?” He purred, holding control over himself while he leaned in to press a small kiss on Ciel’s earlobe. His whole body pulled closer, closing even more distance between the two. Leaving just enough space for the buttons to come undone, he leaned back once they were loose, shrugging the coat off to the floor along with his other things. The size difference was notable when the two coats were side by side, Alois now pushing 6′ tall himself. 
In response, he reached back out to his lover’s chest, pulling button after button open. The pale skin underneath caught the moonlight like a modern day Adonis. Just as Aphrodite had done long ago, he would sacrifice his sanity to spend only several nights a year with him if it came to it. Now there was definition to his chest - not quite muscle, but the man wasn’t soft either. Alois smiled mischievously, ducking in for a deep kiss on the lips with no hesitation. 
While the other was nervous and shaky, the taller man was confident and needy. He’d bided his time pretending that positions like this were with his fantasy to begin with. Now that it really was the one he imagined most nights, he’d waste no time. He’d push the subject and get his way - for once, just for once.
“Y..You..” A sad attempt at a protest. He was helpless at this point, as he always was when they played this game. Shuddered breaths escaped Ciel’s lips, his throat and hands and legs beginning to throb with the violent beating of his heart. Hardly even noticing his own buttons being undone, he couldn’t help but stare at the unfamiliar physique of his partner, still just as pale and soft and smelling of lavender, but larger. Of course, he was used to that aspect, as Alois had always had the advantage when it came to physical size. Another reminder they were men now.
A cool breeze crossed his chest as button after button was opened, and he trailed his fingertips down his lover’s abdomen, touching him as if he was still unsure if he was really there. His fingers kept moving until they reached a new texture, his eyes following. A scar. The scar. His thumb gently ran across it, memories of that awful night haunting his memory again.
A distraction. He wanted a distraction. This moment was too sweet to be ruined by those nightmares. Ciel’s hand darted back up Alois’ body, wrapping around the back of his neck and pulling him back in for a deeply passionate kiss, the feeling of his lips on his own bringing him back to the present moment.
Noticing his pause, Alois was pulled out of the moment for a split-second, eyes following the other’s to the raggedly-healed wound on his abdomen. Once upon a time, it nearly killed him. It took months to seal up to the point he would no longer vomit blood. Yet, it served as a reminder to tie the two together. The man had made peace with it, never answering Jean honestly when he asked about it. A fight with a carriage, maybe he’d fallen, sometimes he changed his lie to keep it fresh in his mind. Little did he know about the beautifully composed violent blue boy in London. 
Though the thought didn’t last long until he was to be wrapped in another kiss. The two lost themselves in the texture of the other’s lips, the newfound fullness and softness. For a moment, the blonde forgot that for the other, it had been years since he felt this much passion, for he knew his lover would only accept a partner that could destroy him and build him back up in one night; a challenging love. The night allowed for this kind of depraved waltz. 
Shrugging off his own shirt, he pulled off the necktie he’d chosen for that day, pulling it behind Ciel’s neck and quickly grabbing it tight - cutting off breath for a split-second. The gasp for air would last long enough to make the other slightly dizzy, almost a drunk sort of feeling. While Ciel had been saving himself for marriage, Alois had been learning new tricks in Paris.
His breath caught in his throat as his neck was pulled forward slightly, his eyes widening at the unfamiliar and sudden sensation. He liked it. His hands grabbed tightly at his lover’s shoulders, his body’s initial reaction being to fight for air, until he relaxed and leaned into the lightheaded feeling. As the tightness of the tie around his neck loosened he gasped for breath, heat pooling in his lower stomach.
Ciel’s hand ran up the back of Alois’ neck, lightly entangling itself in the silky blond hair and tugging, all needy and wanting. It was during moments like these that Ciel was thankful there wasn’t a mirror nearby, as he’d never be able to forgive himself for how he looked now- desperate and weak, two traits he prided himself on seldom exhibiting. Meanwhile, his free hand worked its way down to the other’s trousers, his subconscious growing impatient.
A devilish smile crossed the man’s face, a glint of mischief in his eyes as he felt his lover’s hand stray from his chest. In reaction, the blonde grabbed the other by the hips, fingers hooking through the belt loops. Using this guide, he swung Ciel to the other side and walked him back to the bed in the center of the room. 
The soft silk accepted the two into its folds as Alois pressed him down into it, following on top in a straddle. Oh, how long it had been since he had looked down at the real version of this scene rather than the discount. It even made the space worth it somehow, made the taste sweeter. Reaching down to finish undoing all the remaining buttons on his lover’s chest, he took a second to trace the new body. He was certainly well-built, and knowing how many sweets the other indulged in, it made him wonder exactly where it came from. Of course, this matched his fantasy even more so and lit a fire within him.
“I’ve missed the real thing..” He whispered, leaning down to place a lengthy kiss on the other’s exposed collarbone. “You’re worth it.”
Ciel’s hands instinctively fell against the pillows on either side of his head as he laid back, his body remembering how many times he had been pinned down in this position to be toyed with by his lover. His chest rose and fell as he took shallow, nervous breaths, his spine arching ever so slightly as he felt the other’s lips against his collarbone.
This was bliss, it had to be. For eight years he spent every night alone, many of those nights sleepless as Alois’ face appeared behind his eyelids. And yet, here he was. Here they were, tangled in each other’s arms and peppering each other with kisses and nips, their bodies illuminated by a sliver of moonlight shining through the curtains. If he had ever wanted a painting of anything, it would be this.
A hand came up to cradle Alois’ head as he kissed his chest, his other hand sliding up his lover’s thigh eagerly and brushing his fingertips just underneath the hem of his trousers. Lifting Alois’ head so his eyes met his own, he tugged lightly on the fabric of his pants. “Off.”
“Hm,” Alois snickered quietly, smiling against the other’s skin. He’d forgotten all about the past few weeks, even the dent he’d just made in the wall. The man leaned back to stand and undid his belt, allowing the layer to fall to the floor. All that remained now was a pair of not-so-modest undergarments and his socks, illuminated by the moonlight. 
“Since you want to be so demanding,” He purred, leaning back in to speak right against the other’s neck. “You too, coward.” 
The two were as close to heaven as they could ever get. Living in sin left one with only so many options - sink to the bottom, or find a way out. Being that they’d already sold their souls, this love was to be their only glimpse of it. That it was; both were old enough to savor it as such, hardened by the world outside this room. Yet, they were still young enough to allow some recklessness into their doomed sorts of lives. Knowing this fact, Alois rolled off his lover, now sitting on the edge of the bed and gesturing. Up.
He would never admit it aloud, or maybe even to himself, but Alois was more than likely the only person who could order him around, and have it arouse him. His eyes watched intently as his partner continued to undress, noting the way his fingers methodically moved, the way his stomach and chest expanded with every breath; it was exhilarating.
Hearing the command, Ciel moved in carefully calculated movements, as if he could be pounced on at any moment. He stood up, dropping his unbuttoned shirt to the floor before moving onto his own trousers. Button by button, the fabric loosened before pooling around his ankles. He stepped out of them, his hands on Alois’ shoulders for balance. And there he stood, nearly naked and completely vulnerable for the first time in nearly a decade.
The bluenette moved as if leaning in for another kiss but hesitated, leaning away again. He reached behind his own head, grabbing the string of his eye patch between his thumb and forefingers, pulling until it loosened and fell to the floor. There, he thought, off.
Surprised by the sight of both eyes, the man’s eyes locked with the other’s. A soft sound of “oh, love…” escaped his lips, his hand moving up the side of Ciel’s skull to gently hold him there. He took a moment to gaze into both eyes, having all but forgotten he’d only ever seen the one. Even as teens, Ciel was always cautious about how much of himself he revealed even when completely alone. Though he knew the contract resided there, it never really dawned on him that he had never seen it. Recognizing how raw this moment was, the man leaned back until he was flat against the bed, other hand coming up to trace along his partner’s chest. 
It was only moments before he pulled him back in for a deep kiss, filled now with all the longing and pining of eight full years. For a moment, it crossed his mind that this man deserved better from him- he always had. He deserved all his raw moments, anger and joy, sickness and health, fear and confidence. Alois wished he could find a way to give that all to him. If only there were a way, Alois would risk it all. Maybe someday they could play dead and run away, have Sebastian kill Claude, write Lizzie a nice letter - something about market study in the States. 
At least they could sail away in these sheets for the night, he thought. Before he realized it, his hands had travelled to his lover’s waist, pulling them so close together that it would require something earth-shattering to pull them away. His mind was scattered, but his body fell into old patterns, finding it completely impossible not to touch the other. Suddenly, every moment he spent with his ex-lover felt like a paperback book that ended on a cliffhanger- so close to satisfying, but nothing compared to a happy ending.
Vulnerability was surprisingly becoming on Ciel; as someone who prided himself on being completely untouchable both emotionally and physically, he appeared most beautiful in this state, especially in the eyes of his lover. He rubbed his eye slightly, trying to regain the balanced sight of two eyes he had been lacking for a whole day. He wanted to see Alois clearly.
Pulled back in for a deep kiss, Ciel climbed forward, straddling the blond man underneath him with his arms wrapped underneath his neck, pulling them impossibly close. He hummed as their hips ground against one another, as he brought one hand around to lightly trace his thumb across Alois’ bottom lip.
“Let me see yours..” He whispered, his digit pulling down lightly on his lip and brushing against his bottom teeth. The other Earl’s contract seal was not new to him- he had seen it before a number of times, but he had nearly forgotten what it looked like now, the image just a fuzzy memory buried in his mind. This thing, this stupidly complicated thing, was one of the few things that they felt tied them together.
Smiling with his teeth, a rare sight in and of itself, the man was glad he could share this with someone. Jean knew nothing of his contract, making efforts to hide his contract from the lover of his. It was a deep secret once he left the city, one he planned to take to his grave after Claude gutted him for his soul. It was a secret he shared with the man in front of him and in a way, the shared tragedy made him feel like he could be all of himself without effort. 
He allowed his tongue to stick out of his mouth, the inactive pattern still visible despite its faded nature. It spoke to the strength of the bond he held with his demon, or lack thereof. Though it looked like a burn mark when it wasn’t on display, it was still visible. Alois searched his lover’s eyes for approval, insecurity bleeding through his expression.
Sensing his partner’s vulnerability his lips curled into some mixture of a smile and a smirk, enjoying the look on his face though trying to remain comforting. “Beautiful..” he whispered, fingers grasping Alois’ jaw to pull him into another kiss. This kiss was backed with more fire, all teeth and tongue as they savored the taste and texture of one another.
The fire in his belly growing hotter, he found himself subconsciously rocking his hips against the other’s, searching desperately for some sort of friction to release the knot he felt forming deep inside him. His neediness was showing as he pulled down on his partner’s undergarments, annoyed by the thin pieces of fabric still keeping them even remotely decent. “These too..” he whined, clearing his throat as he felt embarrassment wash over him at the sound of his own voice. “Off..”
A light laugh left his lips, finding the desperation completely hilarious. Alois pushed his lover off eagerly, shifting his legs to get the undergarment off and allowing it to fall to the floor. He swiftly pulled the other man back in for a deep kiss, rolling the two over so that he could position himself on top and straddle the other. Now completely nude, the moonlight caught his skin in his moment of pause. 
“You’re so demanding…” He purred, leaning back in and winding a hand behind the other’s head. He locked his fingers in the denim hair, briefly eliciting a light amount of pain. “Though, you’ve been saving yourself.” He added, raising an eyebrow to challenge him. He’d missed just how needy his lover got with him, circumstance leading them to secrecy, and him being the only man unafraid to break that barrier - the only man who held this secret with him.
A soft whine left his lips as his head was pulled back, his Adam’s apple protruding from his throat as his neck arched. His face contorted slightly as he gazed up at the controlling man, brows furrowed and eyes slightly widened as his face flushed a deep rosy red.
He would be lying to himself if he tried to claim he wasn’t at least a bit nervous, as excited as he was. It had been nearly a decade since he had been in this position, this situation, and it had his nerves running rampant. Considering he still wasn’t married, he really hadn’t been physically intimate with another person since he was a young teen, when they experimented with each other’s bodies and memorized every curve and mark.
Ciel swallowed hard, the action difficult with the angle of his neck. “Eight years.. yes..” he breathed, his hands gently running up Alois’ thighs, dangerously close to his core but refusing to touch it. As desperate as he appeared, he liked to play games with him, too.
“Mm…” He trailed, tensing at the touch and biting his lip to stay calm as possible. “All for me, then..” He hummed. He was getting closer to losing his mind in the intimacy, whole body heating up. While he hadn’t had a lack of intimacy by any means, none of it was anything honest. He’d used his ex-lover as a means to an end, a way to spend those eight years not so alone. None of it was true pleasure. 
But this, this most certainly was just that. It was as if he hadn’t been touched in years either, never as nervous with another as he was with Ciel. The man knew every curve and spot by muscle memory, but his passion clouded his mind, rendered just as useless.
Removing his hand from the back of Ciel’s head, he grabbed the hand that was wandering near his thighs. Alois guided it, allowing it to rest directly beside his member, leaving the choice still ever open. Besides, his own hands had become shaky, his eyes having trouble staying open. “Please…” He whispered, opening his eyes for a second to reveal a pleading expression.
Ciel’s lips parted and hung open, his eyes never leaving Alois’ as he carefully wrapped his palm around the other’s member, grasping it gently. He watched his face for a change in expression, enjoying teasing his lover even as he laid underneath him, powerless.
Truth be told, Ciel would stay in this moment for all eternity if he could. Just the two of them; bodies bare and vulnerable, entangled in each other’s arms and legs twisted around one another, just like this forever.
Despite his current position, he couldn’t help but feel a rush of confidence as he touched the other man, his hand slowly beginning to move back and forth, his movements triggered by muscle memory. He grinned, looking up at Alois through half lidded eyes. “I so love that face you make..” He commented, his free hand running up and down Alois’ chest and stomach. “The same face, only older..” His hand squeezed slightly around the other’s member, hoping to provoke a more entertaining reaction from his partner.
Upon the contact, the blonde man gasped loudly, clapping a hand over his mouth in embarassment. Although they were entirely alone, it had been a long time since he’d felt a genuine surge of passion and the sudden vocalization shocked even himself. Confident, my love. 
“Ah-” he attempted, his breath catching, God, it was so hard to speak when handling actual pleasure. His entire body was so hot. “I’ll need to relearn you…” He trailed, eyes closing again, “all over again…” He admitted, his memory of Paris disappearing as the evening turned to deep blue night. 
Like the other, he wished for the time to just freeze here. They were so safe under the cover of night, and they didn’t have to lie to the world here. The blonde could be open with the other man underneath him, mouths and sins combining.
Ciel’s face subconsciously mimicked the other’s, his mouth slightly agape as he felt his lover harden under his touch. He continued stroking softly, tracing his thumb ever so gently around the tip.
“Then start studying..” he whispered, his voice breathy and longing. The knot in his stomach grew tighter and hotter, the friction between the two of them arousing himself as well. “You have a lot of catching up to do.” His cockiness was showing, made even more obvious by the smirk spreading across his lips like melted butter. Ciel spoke teasingly as if he himself didn’t have to relearn his lover’s body.
But his teasing didn’t stop there. He swiftly removed his hand from Alois’ member, placing both of his hands by either side of his head against the mattress. Alois got a taste, now it was his turn. And he would lay here until he got it. Clearly it hadn’t taken long for the two of them to fall back into the passionate and competitive, also quite stubborn, nature of their games.
“Fuck you…” He breathed, sending his lover a dagger of a glare. The man crawled off the bed at this moment, sliding down to the ground on his knees. He didn’t wait for the other man to reposition, but instead chose to grab both legs and tug him closer to the edge of the bed. 
The blonde licked his lips, a glimpse of his contract seal showing as he did so, leaning in now to place his lover’s member in his own mouth. Things like this held double-meaning for him, only ever soiling his seal for the other man. He and Jean’s love life was still a mystery to both; Alois lived in a daze then, and feeling alive at all came at a price. One thing could be said about it, however - Alois never allowed anyone else to touch his tongue in such a way. 
He worked the other to a fever pitch, he himself getting lost as well. Lesson one, he thought, one of many from here on out. The idea that the other was still engaged made him smile, knowing that he was able to prove his own worth on his knees.
A surprised gasp left him as he was pulled, moving to sit up on his elbows to watch Alois sink down to the ground before him. A pretty sight, he thought, though the devilish smirk on his face was quickly wiped away as soon as he felt his mouth on him. His right hand immediately went to the blond’s hair, gripping tightly as his left hand twisted itself in the sheets. His head, suddenly heavy, fell back against the mattress, a whimpering moan pouring from his lips.
Before his eyes, the other man could see his stomach muscles twitching and his chest heaving with heavy breaths as his mind frantically tried to make sense of this long forgotten feeling. Fingers and toes curled, back arched, eyes shut tightly as he felt his member engulfed in wet warmth.
His goal pleasure, the blonde bobbed his head dutifully, lost in the motion. He could feel his lover grow harder and hotter on the walls of his cheeks, a forgotten feeling and one long-missed. Ciel’s moans were a welcome melody to his ears, hands grabbing the other’s legs tightly; he had to be careful not to leave any bruises though he would delve great pleasure from doing so. 
He wished nothing more than to provide pleasure, despite only ever being good at receiving it. It was bliss to see the other’s edges soften right in front of his eyes, his breath quickening and his reaction exactly what he wanted out of the other. The taste of skin and the heat of the room were but a backdrop to their worlds entwining for a night - hopefully, there would be many more.
The two continued without words, only the sounds of whines and moans singing in their ears. Opening his eyes after holding them so tightly shut, Ciel felt as though he were seeing stars. He felt as though he could cry. Eight years of loneliness, eight years of being completely touch starved and wishing everyday so ashamedly that it was Alois’ cheek he were kissing instead of Lizzie’s.
His legs suddenly curled up around Alois’ head, unknowingly squeezing him between them as he felt hot pleasure pooling deep within him. It couldn’t end now, he had to last longer than this. He wished he could last hours doing this, all night if he were able. Gripping the blond’s hair tighter than he meant to, he pulled, lifting Alois’ head from his groin before he fell over the edge.
And what a sight he was. Pink and flushed and sweating and completely out of breath, barely able to hold himself up balancing on one elbow dug into the mattress. Ciel stared into nothing, eyes half lidded and pupils larger than moons, a bit embarrassed at how quickly Alois had gotten a rise out of him, but also trying to come down off of his overwhelming high.
The high was like a drug, a quick and fast hit now and then to stay satisfied. Alois felt like an addict, seeking his next hit from every hallway and dark room until he could come home and get high on his own supply. To compare it, Jean had been like a weak supply, a watered-down opiate that kept him alive but did naught much else. Ciel was the cleanest form of it, one hit could make him lose his mind. 
The contact turned his entire face bright pink and his whole body hot as the fire they stood in front of earlier. He was briefly thankful that his butler had worn him down already, stripped him emotionally so he could feel his lover piece him back together, breath by breath; pure opium poppies to soothe him. The blonde felt dizzy and lightheaded as his hair was grasped, crawling back on top of his love. What a sight that man beneath him was. 
Ciel had grown into a remarkable man, chiseled chest as if by the gods themselves. He took a pause to look him over, messy and unseamed. This was a sight he could behold for hours upon hours, the moonlight through the slightly drawn curtain dancing on them both. Leaning down on his own elbow, he placed a soft kiss on his lover’s cheek, a sweet gesture unusual for the Earl. 
“You’re beautiful.” He mumbled, brushing hair from the other man’s face with his free hand. “All I ever wanted.. right here.”
It was painfully poetic, how the two Earl’s saw each other in exactly the same way, particularly in this very moment. Flushed pink, out of breath and sweat beading up on their foreheads; surely the most beautiful sight they had seen in a long time.
Catching his breath, Ciel looked Alois in the eyes upon hearing his words, his heart clenching. Beautiful, the voice repeated in his mind. It was in moments like these that Ciel struggled to find words, too caught up in the act to think properly, as if he never learned to speak in the first place. He did what he could only think of doing then, and wrapped his arms tightly around Alois and pulled him in close, capturing his lips yet again in a deep kiss. His legs lifted, locking ankles around Alois’ hips, and he trailed one hand back down to his lover’s member, wasting no time in stroking him eagerly. Ciel wanted to capture every one of his moans and breathless gasps.
He needed him. He wanted him. He wanted just as much for it to happen as he wanted the scene to last for hours. “Please..” he whined in the kiss, nearly desperate enough to begin begging. “Alois, please..”
Allowing a heavy breath to pass his lips upon the touch of the other, he closed his eyes in desire. His hot breath released onto his lover’s face, relaxing into a soft smile. Alois opened his eyes to fix his gaze on his face, taking in every sweet second they had right now. 
“Take me however you wish.” He stated, weak and low. “You’re the one who’s been waiting without a placeholder. So… show me what you fantasized about.” His statement dripped with desire and longing, his thoughts still partially distant but his body and world contained in this room. He wondered exactly what the other wanted to see from him, nothing but a circus clown when it came to the other man. Alois knew in that moment, he’d do absolutely anything if it made the love of his life feel some kind of freedom from all the responsibility they both held, knowing none of those fantasies were for the consumption of his betrothed.
With his hand still working diligently, stroking his lover ever so intently, his face froze as he stared up at the other, looking so deeply into his sea blue eyes he thought he might be falling in.
What had he fantasized about? Eight years had passed and Ciel spent every one of those days trying desperately to forget Alois; his scent, his body, the feeling of his skin against his own. When they were young, they spent nights like these experimenting, learning about each other’s bodies and their own; what felt good and what felt right. In fact, thinking about it now, they had probably used almost every surface in this room for sinning. Ciel’s face turned an even darker red at the thought, those memories resurfacing.
But ultimately, he knew what he wanted. “This..” he breathed, bringing both of his hands up to Alois’ cheeks to hold him and stroke his thumbs across his skin. “Like this.. I want to see your face..” Saying it this way made it sound romantic, and while of course it was, a part of Ciel also wanted so desperately to watch the other’s face contort with pleasure as they neared the end of this. That was admittedly his favorite part. “Take me this way..”
He nodded softly, breath catching in his throat at every stroke. Fuck, jean wishes he could. Alois had only ever loved one other like this- his butler never returning the favor, every other man in his bed only ever filling the space. He had nearly forgotten what love really felt like; the passion of such a love never quite matching up. 
He rolled himself over, taking his lover with him since they were locked in such a manner. The man splayed himself out beneath him, giving himself up to the moment. “All of me is yours,” he purred, leaving himself on display for the other alone. His pale skin was hot as a stovetop, arching towards the other in desire. 
It has always belonged to the other man, he thought. No matter what he tried to do to move on, none of it had worked. He knew now that this was due to the fact that having sold their souls, their bodies were forever bound by the lack. They were a match made directly in hell itself, the fires of which came through their bodies when they were alone.
A moment passed as Ciel regained his balance from being flipped over, now hovering over the other young man with his hands against the mattress on either side of his head. He forgot how this felt, being in control. A rush of confidence sparked through him, sitting up straight to look down at Alois, a calm but devious look in his eyes.
Ciel slowly ran his fingertips under Alois’ jaw, placing his first two fingers against his lips. “Open.“ He commanded, slipping his two fingers into the other’s mouth and against his tongue, coating them in slick saliva. “I forgot how lovely you look like this..” He teased, grinning as he pressed his fingers down against the pad of Alois’ tongue, admiring the seal that was barely visible.
Alois heeded the command, parting his lips eagerly. The seal of his contract appeared as if a latent burn mark, branded but inactive as ever as he waited for his lover to defile it. The act was one of disrespect, wanting his mouth to be used to the fullest extent to coat the mark. The man smiled slightly, wanting nothing more than to be used. 
While he always stayed on top in the past, he felt comfortable letting himself loose only with his love. It had been years since they’d been together, years more since he’d been used last like this. While some memories still burned of the old man and his torture, Ciel would be the only one who could take those memories and light them ablaze. Nights such as these served as his only form of therapy, twisting his old memories into new ones and taking their place.
While distracting Alois with his fingers in his mouth, Ciel thought deeply about how he should go about being in this new position of control. He hadn’t done it like this before, and was wracking his brain for memories of things Alois had done to him. This was the perfect opportunity to give his lover a taste of his own medicine.
And suddenly, he had a wonderful idea. He stifled a small laugh, sneering as he removed his now soaked fingers from Alois’ mouth. In what looked like one swift movement from Alois’ love drunk point of view, Ciel scooched down the bed, lifting each of Alois’ legs over his shoulders and pulling him close by his thighs. “Relax for me, love,” he cooed, pressing an eager digit to his lover’s entrance. Remembering the initial discomfort he usually felt during this, he made sure to stimulate him in other ways, squeezing the other’s thigh with his free hand and licking gently at his member. He kept his gaze locked firmly on Alois’ face, studying him for any hint of pain or pleasure as he slowly massaged his finger inside of him, deeper and deeper until he reached his second knuckle.
With a sharp gasp, the man pressed into it, growing dizzy. While painful, no one else ever took so much care with his body. It hurt, but in the best kind of way; pain morphed into pleasure, heat growing in his abdomen. Letting out a soft moan, Alois closed his eyes tightly, breathing through any of the remaining pain. 
The man wanted to lose complete control underneath the other, relaxing as his fingers tied knots of the silken sheets and sweat beading on his chest. Drunk on love was a look that suited him flawlessly, arching his back into it and giving himself up to the mercy of the moment. He grew harder, heartbeats siphoning blood to the region and heard through the silence now only they punctured. 
“F…. fucking hell…”
Watching him carefully through his eyelashes, Ciel left wet kisses along his inner thighs, stopping to bite lightly at the skin. Hearing the other’s comment he couldn’t help but grin, sensing another opportunity for cockiness. “Don’t be so sensitive with me now..” he teased, remembering every time their positions had been switched, with Alois purring in his ear about how sensitive and tightly wound he could be.
Careful not to move too quickly, Ciel massaged in a second finger, this one sliding in a bit easier than the first, He curled them together, gently beginning to move them in and out of the other’s entrance. His free hand ran up, up his thigh and up the side of his torso, eventually finding his hand and interlocking their fingers tightly. “I’m never this quiet,” he smirked, pushing his fingers in just a bit deeper. “Let me hear you..”
Neither am I, he thought, not when I’m faking. That was just it, wasn’t it though. This time, Alois was actually embarrassed by how desperate he’d gotten for this brat. While familiar with the feeling, he wasn’t used to his heartbeat quickening this much, the heat in his stomach growing so much. Everything without him had just been a release, and only satisfied when he could block out Jean’s body. Thank god their faces were similar, but their personalities held different appeal. The man inside him now, for example, was one he loved. 
With another thrust, he was driven close to the edge. A louder moan escaped him, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. Sticky-sweet bliss coursed through his whole body, feeling as though he had been dipped into syrup with how lost in paradise he was becoming. His fingers tightened into the sheets, pulling them off the other side of the bed as he allowed another moan to escape.
“You make such pretty noises..” He hummed, sucking a dark bruise into the inside of Alois’ thigh. He continued twisting and thrusting his fingers into him, curling them and trying to ensure he was relaxed. It wouldn’t be pleasing for either of them if it wasn’t.
Planting a quick kiss on his thigh, Ciel gently removed his fingers, sitting himself up and pulling Alois’ legs around his hips, securing them there. His chest rose and fell as he took deep breaths, trying to push aside the nervousness he felt in this moment. A final look at the blond’s face caused him to relax completely, feeling the heat between their bodies grow hotter. He swallowed hard, leaning in to kiss his lover passionately.
Pulling away so they were just centimeters apart, Ciel gazed into the eyes of Alois, exhausted and aroused. “Stop me if it hurts..” He whispered softly, remembering how Alois always said something along those lines to him when the positions were switched.
Ciel gently stroked himself a few times, stifling soft moans before pressing the tip of his member to Alois’ entrance, moving as slowly as he could as he began to push inside. A low groan melted from his lips, feeling the tight heat surround his member. It was almost enough to send him over the edge just like this, but he was determined to hold on. Steadier now, he placed his palms over Alois’ locking their fingers together on either side of his head against the mattress.
Wincing slightly, he exhaled sharply as he felt the other enter. It did hurt, of course, but he could relax into it in a way he hadn’t been able to with his replacement. It had been years however, since he’d done anything like this, and he was tighter than he used to be. Held down by his palms, he struggled to clear the brain fog that made him feel drunk. 
Eyes watering at the remnants of pain, he let himself ease into the pleasure. The heat in his abdomen grew, placing him right on the edge of the cliff. The man moaned repeatedly at every thrust, leaving his mouth open so as not to worry about it as much as he was prior. The room grew louder and hotter and he felt himself edging so close to release, fingers holding tightly through the other’s. 
After only minutes, Alois felt the pressure burst, arching back into the bed in ever-fleeting bliss. The moment made him feel lightheaded, all the blood rushing to the area and leaving him a succulent mess. Embarrassed, he released his fingers to wind tightly together behind his lover’s back. “Fuck you…” He sighed, an echoing release rocking his body again.
Upon feeling his body relax, Ciel picked up his pace a bit, thrusting rhythmically into his lover. Soft gasps and low groans tumbled from his lips, his brows furrowing as sweat beaded along his rosy forehead.
Only minutes later did the rhythm he found begin to fumble, his thrusts becoming less precise and more desperate. He leaned over Alois’ body, gripping the sheets above his head as the other wrapped tightly around his back. The knot in his lower abdomen pulled, tighter and tighter until the rope snapped, forcing his blissful release inside of Alois. He shuddered, his hips still slowly rocking as he rode out his high, looking down at the mess Alois had left all over his lower stomach.
Ciel barely had any energy left, his muscles quivering slightly as he rested on top of the other man, yet to pull out. He chuckled softly at Alois’ feisty words, peppering the side of his face and neck with soft kisses. “You loved it..” Ciel hummed into his ear.
After taking a few deep breaths, Ciel moved to pull out, both of them flinching a bit as he did so, followed by a relaxed sigh. He knew they had cleaning up to do, but he decided it could wait a few more minutes. The power high he had felt was dying down now as he curled up against Alois’ side, resting his head on his lover’s chest and listening to his heart. It felt as though a part of him had been fulfilled, like an incomplete puzzle finally placing the last puzzle piece after years of being incomplete. Alois Trancy was his missing puzzle piece.
“Mm…” Alois hummed ,closing his eyes and holding his lover close. “Irrelevant.” He teased, looking over. He poked one finger into Ciel’s red hot cheek, causing the other man’s face to shrink for a moment. The expression made him chuckle lightly, all tension gone between the two. It was a childish gesture, calling back to the years they spent apart and tying the time together. It was as if they’d never been apart to being with, the shedded years as irrelevant as the comment.
The taller man turned his head, nuzzling into Ciel’s neck. “I just want you to know,” he began softly, “you have no one to compete with.” 
He wondered just how much his past affair bugged the other man, though he hoped not at all. Jean had looked nearly the same, spoke the same, and shared most mannerisms. Yet, he held the knowledge to be true that the comparison was never truly there. Nights were desperate in a different way, as if he had to prove himself time and time again. Both men had grown up beside Alois, but Alois had never grown out of London, rather leaving a piece of himself here that he was able to gain back in these sickly sweet nothings.
Ciel closed his eyes, nuzzling deeper into the embrace and wrapping his arms around Alois. He wrapped a strand of blond hair around his finger, twisting it gently.
The sudden confession took him by surprise, his eyes opening although he didn’t move. He was surprisingly not angry or hurt in the slightest. The two of them were not only living under different circumstances, one of them actively engaged and the other free to do as he pleased, but they also handled their pain quite differently. Ciel tended to shrink away from the world and wallow in silence, muting any emotion he felt until it passed. Alois would act out in a number of ways, grabbing onto anything he could to chase a new feeling that would distract him from the pain.
“I know..” he whispered, lifting his head to look at Alois, still playing with his hair. “I do, I know..”
The two Earls shared that moment, looking into each other’s eyes and reaching a silent understanding that they would be okay, that the past didn’t matter and whatever happened in the last eight years wasn’t something they could change. They laid there awhile longer, snuggling close and sharing the occasional kiss, before eventually rising from the bed to clean one another. Ciel felt both pride and pity at the sight of Alois struggling to sit up, hiding a snicker as he helped clean him up.
Their bodies cooled down, no longer out of breath and coated in a layer of sweat. They pulled the silky covers over themselves, resting their heads comfortably in the folds of the pillows, still clinging to one another as if they feared the other would disappear before morning.
Tied together, all worries dissipated in the fog of the London night. They were finally alone, even if it were for only a night or two here and there. As grown men, they knew they were both on borrowed time even more so than as teens. Any moment outside this manor or this room could endanger either one, and yet they were perfectly calm. Falling asleep now, the blonde was sure to hide in his lover’s chest, letting darkness cover him completely. Pain from long ago didn’t touch him here, sewing up the lost edges of their love story.
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