#but the main conflicts are taken seriously enough to have weight. it feels like a good mix for a lupin movie! also it was really | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jewelleria · 1 month

Text

I don’t usually talk about politics on here, if ever. But it’s been almost six months since the conflict in the Middle East flared up again, and I’m finally ready to start. Here are some of my thoughts.

I say ‘flared up’ because this has happened before and it’ll happen again. Because, even though what's currently going on is absolutely unprecedented, those of us who live in this part of the world are used to it. Let that sink in: we are used to this. And we shouldn’t have to be.

But I use that term for another reason: I don't want to accidentally call it the wrong thing lest I come under fire for being a genocidal maniac or a terrorist or a propaganda machine, etc., etc.—so let’s just call it ‘the war’ or ‘the conflict.’ Because that’s what it is. Doesn’t matter which side you’re on, who you love, or who you hate.

This post will, in all likelihood, sit in my drafts forever. If it does get posted, it certainly won’t be on my main, because I'm scared of being harassed (spoiler: she posted it on her main). I hate admitting that, but honestly? I’m fucking terrified.

I also feel like in order for anything I say on here (i.e. the hellscape of the internet) to be taken seriously, I have to somehow prove that a) I’m “educated” enough to talk about the conflict, and b) that my opinion lines up with what has been deemed the correct one. So, tedious and unnecessary though it is, I will tell you about my experience, because I have a feeling most of the people reading this post are not nearly as close to what’s happening as I am.

How do I explain where I live without actually explaining where I live? How do I say “I live in the Red Zone of international conflicts” without saying what I actually think? How do I convey the fear that grips me when I try to decide between saying “I live in Palestine” and “I live in Israel”? I don't really know. But I do know that names are important. I also know that, due to the various clickbaity monikers ascribed to the conflict, it would probably just be easier to point to a map.

I haven't always lived in the Middle East. I've lived in various places along America’s east coast, and traveled all over the world. But in short, I now live somewhere inside the crudely-drawn purple circle.

If you know anything about these borders you probably blanched a bit in sympathy, or maybe condolence. But in truth, it’s a shockingly normal existence. I don't feel like I've lived through the shifting of international relations or a war or anything. I just kind of feel like I did when COVID hit, that dull sameness as I wondered if this would be the only world-altering event to shape my life, or if there would be more.

I've been told that, in order for my brain to process all the horrific details of the past six months, there needs to be some element of cognitive dissonance—that falling into a sort of dissociative mindset is the only way to not go insane under the weight of it all. I think in some ways that’s true. I have been terrifyingly close to bus stop shootings when my commute wasn’t over; I have felt my apartment building shake with the reverberations of a missile strike; I have spent hours in underground shelters waiting for air raid sirens to stop.

But. I have also gone grocery shopping, and skipped class, and stayed up too late watching TV, and fed the cats on the street corner, and cried over a boy, and got myself AirPods just because, and taken out the trash, and done laundry on a delicate cycle, and bought overpriced lattes one too many days a week. I have looked at pretty things and taken out my phone because, despite it all, I still think that life is too short not to freeze the small moments.

So I'd say, all things considered, I live an incredibly privileged life—compared, of course, to those suffering in Gaza—one filled with sunsets and over-sweetened knafeh and every different color of sand. One that allows me to throw myself into a fandom-induced hyperfixation (or, alternatively, escape method) as I sit on the couch and crack open my laptop to write the next chapter of the fic I'm working on.

But there are bits of not-normalness that wheedle their way through the cracks. I pretend these moments are avoidable, even if they’re not.

They look like this: reading the news and seeing another idiotic, careless choice on Netanyahu’s part and groaning into my morning coffee. Watching Palestinian and Jewish children’s needless suffering posted on Instagram reels and feeling helpless. Opening my Tumblr DMs to find a message telling me to exterminate myself for reblogging a post that only seems like it’s about the war if you squint and tilt your head sideways.

These moments look like all the tiny ways I am reminded that I'm living in a post-October seventh world, where hearing a car backfire makes me jump out of my skin and the sound of a suitcase on pavement makes me look up at the sky and search for the war planes. They look like the heavy grief that is, and also isn’t, mine.

Here's the thing, though. I know you’re wondering when the ball will drop and my true opinion will be revealed. I know you’re waiting for me to reveal what demographic I'm a part of so that you, dear reader, can neatly slap a label on my head and sort me into some oversimplified category that lets you continue to think you understand this war.

No one wants to sit and ruminate on the difficult questions, the ones that make you wonder if maybe you’ve been tinkered with by the propaganda machine, if you might need to go back on what you’ve said or change your mind. We all strive for our perception of complicated issues to be a comfortable one.

But I know that no matter what I do, there will always be assumptions. So, while I shudder to reveal this information online, I think that maybe my most significant contribution to this meta-discussion spanning every facet of the internet is this:

I am a Jew.

Or, alternatively, I am: Jewish, יהודית, يَهُودِيٌّ, etc. Point is, I come from Jews. And, like any given person, I am a product of generation after generation of love.

I'm not going to take time to explain my heritage to you, or to prove that before all the expulsions and pogroms, there was an origin point. If you don’t believe that, perhaps it’s less of a factual problem and more of an ‘I don’t give weight to the beliefs of indigenous people’ problem. But, in case you want to spend time uselessly refuting this tiny point in a larger argument, you can inspect the photos below (it’s just a small chunk of my DNA test results). Alternatively, you can remember that interrogating someone in an attempt to make their indigeneity match your arbitrary criteria is generally not seen as good manners.

Now, let’s go back to thathateful message (read: poorly disguised death threat) I received in my Tumblr DMs. I think it was like two or three weeks ago. I had recently gained a new follower whose blog’s primary focus was the fandom I contribute to, so I followed them back. I saw in my notes that they were going through my posts and liking them—as one does when gaining a new mutual. Yippee!

Then they sent me this:

I tried to explain that hate speech is not a way to go about participating in political discourse, but the person had already blocked me immediately after sending that message. Then, assured by the fact that I surely would never see them complaining about me on their blog (because, as I said, they blocked me), they posted a shouting rant accusing me of sympathizing with colonizing settlers and declaring me a “racist Zionist fuck.” Oh, the wonders of incognito tabs.

Where this person drew these conclusions after reading my (reblogged) post about antisemitism…. I'm not actually sure. But I greatly sympathize with them, and hope that they weren’t too personally offended by my desire to not die.

For a while I contemplated this experience in my righteous anger, and tried to figure out a way to message this person. I wanted to explain that a) seeing a post about being Jewish and choosing to harass the creator about Israel is literally the definition of antisemitism and b) that sending a hateful DM and refusing to be held accountable is just childish and immature. But I gave up soon after—because, honestly, I knew it wasn’t worth my effort or energy. And I knew that I wouldn't be able to change their mind.

But I still remember staring at that rather unfortunate meme, accompanied by an all-caps message demanding for me to Free Palestine, and thinking: the post didn’t even have any buzzwords. I remember the swoop of dread and guilt and fear. I remember wondering why this kind of antisemitism felt worse, in that moment, than the kind that leaves bodies in its wake.

I remember thinking, I don’t have the power to free anyone.

I remember thinking, I’m so fucking tired.

And before you tell me that this conflict isn’t about religion—let me ask you some questions. Why is it that Israel is even called Israel? (Here’s why.) Why do Jews even want it? (Here’s why.) But also, if you actually read the charters of Islamist terrorist organizations like ISIS, Hamas, and Hezbollah (among others), they equate the modern state of Israel with the Jewish people, and they use the two entities interchangeably. So of course this conflict is religious. It’s never been anything but that.

But I do wonder, when faced with those who deny this fact: how do I prove, through an endless slew of what-about-isms and victim blaming, that I too am hurting? How do I show that empathy is dialectical, that I can care deeply for Palestinians and Gazans while also grieving my own people?

There's this thing that humans do, when we’re frustrated about politics and need to howl our opinions about it into the void until we feel better. We find like-minded souls, usually our friends and neighbors, and fret about the state of the world to each other until we’ve gone around in a satisfactory amount of circles. But these conversations never truly accomplish anything. They’re just a substitute, a stand-in catharsis, for what we really wish we could do: find someone who embodies the spirit of every Jew-hating internet troll, every ignorant justifier of terrorism, and scream ourselves hoarse at them until we change their mind.

But, of course, minds cannot be changed when they are determined to live in a state of irrational dislike. In Judaism, this way of thinking has a name: שנאת חינם (sinat hinam), or baseless hatred. It's a parasite with no definite cure, and it makes people bend over backwards to justify things like the massacre on October seventh, simply because the blame always needs to be placed on the Jews.

So when a Jew is faced with this unsolvable problem, there is only one response to be had, only one feeling to be felt: anger. And we are angry. Carrying around rage with nowhere to put it is exhausting. It's like a weight at the base of our neck that pushes down on our spine, bending it until we will inevitably snap under the pressure. I’m still waiting to break, even now.

I wish I could explain to someone who needs to hear it that terrorism against Israelis happens every single day here, and that we are never more than one degree of separation away from the brutal slaughter of a friend, lover, parent, sibling. I wish it would be enough to say that the majority of Israelis (which includes Arab-Israeli citizens who have the exact same rights as Jewish-Israelis) wish for peace every day without ever having seen what it looks like.

I wish I could show the world that Israel was founded as a socialist state, that it was built on communal values and born from a cluster of kibbutzim (small farming communities based on collective responsibility), and that what it is now isn’t what its people stand for.

I wish the world could open their eyes to what we Israelis have seen since the beginning: that Hamas is the enemy, Hamas is the one starving Palestinians and denying them aid, Hamas is the one who keeps rejecting ceasefire terms and denying their citizens basic human rights. Hamas is the governing body of Gaza, not Israel. Hamas is responsible for the wellbeing of the Palestinian people. And Hamas are the ones who are more determined to murder Jews—over and over and over again, in the most animalistic ways possible—than to look inwards and see the suffering they’ve inflicted on their own people. I wish it was easier to see that.

But the wishing, the asking how can people be so blind, is never enough. I can never just say, I promise I don't want war.

When I bear witness to this baseless hatred, I think of the victims of October seventh. I think of the women and girls who were raped and then murdered, forever unable to tell their stories. I think of the hostages, trapped underneath Gaza in dark tunnels, wondering if anyone will come for them. I think of Ori Ansbacher, of Ezra Schwartz, of Eyal, Gilad, and Naftali, of Lucy, Rina, and Maia Dee, of the Paley boys, of Ari Fuld and of Nachshon Wachsman. I think of all the innocent blood spilled because of terror-fueled hatred and the virus of antisemitism. I think of all the thousands of people who were brutally murdered in Israel, Jews and Muslims and Christians and humans, who will never see peace.

My ties to this land are knotted a thousand times over. Even when I leave, a part of me is left behind, waiting for me to claim it when I return. But when I see the grit it takes to live through this pain, when I see the suffering that paints the world the color of blood, I look to the heavens and I wonder why.

I ask God: is it worth all this? He doesn't answer. So I am the one, in the end, to answer my own question. I say, it has to be.

Feel free to send any genuine, respectful, and clarifying questions you may have to my inbox!

EDIT: just coming on here to say that I'm really touched & grateful for the love on this post. When I wrote it, I felt hopeless; I logged off of Tumblr for Shabbat, dreading the moment I would turn off my phone to find more hate in my inbox. Granted, I did find some, and responding to it was exhausting, but it wasn’t all hate. I read every kind reblog and comment, and the love was so much louder. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 🤍

Source Reading

The Whispered in Gaza Project by The Center for Peace Communications

Why Jews Cannot Stop Shaking Right Now by Dara Horn

Hamas Kidnapped My Father for Refusing to Be Their Puppet by Ala Mohammed Mushtaha

I Hope Someone Somewhere Is Being Kind to My Boy by Rachel Goldberg

The Struggle for Black Freedom Has Nothing to Do with Israel by Coleman Hughes

Israel Can Defend Itself and Uphold Its Values by The New York Times Editorial Board

There Is a Jewish Hope for Palestinian Liberation. It Must Survive by Peter Beinart

The Long Wait of the Hostages’ Families by Ruth Margalit

“By Any Means Necessary”: Hamas, Iran, and the Left by Armin Navabi

When People Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them by Bari Weiss

Hunger in Gaza: Blame Hamas, Not Israel by Yvette Miller

Benjamin Netanyahu Is Israel’s Worst Prime Minister Ever by Anshel Pfeffer

What Palestinians Really Think of Hamas by Amaney A. Jamal and Michael Robbins

The Decolonization Narrative Is Dangerous and False by Simon Sebag Montefiore

Understanding Hamas’s Genocidal Ideology by Bruce Hoffman

The Wisdom of Hamas by Matti Friedman

How the UN Discriminates Against Israel by Dina Rovner

This Muslim Israeli Woman Is the Future of the Middle East by The Free Press

Why Are Feminists Silent on Rape and Murder? by Bari Weiss

506 notes · View notes

kingofthewilderwest · 2 years

Note

i think that Stoick's main problem was that he wasn't very good at listening to his son

then again on the other side Hiccup wasn't very good at listening to his dad either. like father like son i guess

It's not for lack of trying, either.

We can consider how HTTYD opens: Hiccup has been clearly trying, for a while, to be taken seriously as a dragon fighter. Both the conversation between Hiccup and Gobber during the battle, and between Hiccup and Stoick afterwards, are not the first time these have happened - Hiccup has been trying to persuade his father (and father figure) to let him be involved. While the other teenagers haven't started dragon training, either, they're part of Berk's defense system. They're included. Hiccup doesn't feel like he is included (but he is - he's a blacksmith's apprentice! making weapons! and talented at it! HUGELY IMPORTANT. That on its own shows Stoick giving his kid value, participation, weight, and voice in the dragon battles. It's just not what Hiccup envisioned).

And we might wonder how much Hiccup's disobedience and recklessness has escalated because he's increasingly frustrated he's not involved in his ideal way. And we might wonder how much Stoick's, "No, don't do that"s have gotten harsher because Hiccup's reckless disobedience has put himself and others in mortal peril multiple times. A good parent doesn't start rebukes at Level 10. They start at Level 2 or 3 or something, and only need to put their foot down more when the kid's continued to act out. Which Hiccup has. Maybe Stoick listened to Hiccup more and Hiccup didn't butt back so bad when this first became a question. But we're in the middle of the conflict, ergo seeing less communication capabilities than we might have at another time.

And then Stoick and Gobber talk. They debate what to do with Hiccup. Stoick knows what Hiccup wants, and he's balancing Hiccup's desires with Hiccup's abilities and safety. This is a man who has heard what his kid wants and isn't callously dismissing it. He's mulling over it to the point he's confiding with his best friend about it. It's important. And Stoick listens to Gobber, too, who's both been calling Hiccup out on stupid acts, and who has heard Hiccup's desires to fight.

The decision made - and this is important - is that Stoick decides to listen to Hiccup and bring him into Dragon Training.

Stoick cared, listened, and acted according to what Hiccup wanted, even if he was scared about whether Hiccup could handle it.

Stoick couldn't have predicted that his son would give mercy to the literal enemy that day, and abruptly decide that what he'd been trying to get for years - to the point of endangering EVERYONE multiple times - was no longer what he wanted.

Yes, Hiccup complains Stoick isn't listening to him when Hiccup expresses hesitance about going to dragon training. And Stoick should have asked, kindly, why Hiccup was suddenly hesitant. Parents need to be able to pick up on their kids's feelings, even (and especially) if the kid isn't expressing what concerns them. Stoick messed up. Stoick barreled through that conversation (which I have done, too, when thinking that I was speaking on the same wavelength as my conversant - Hey, look, you're going to dragon training just as you wanted!! we agree!!!). That's the primary reason this specific convo failed.

But there's a two-way miscommunication going on. Hiccup is actively hiding a huuuuuuge secret (The Dragon!), and is such, he's not expressing his full intentions, desires, feelings, and circumstances, either. It's a different type of miscommunication, but Hiccup not being able to express anything except an all-of-a-sudden, very bizarre, covert excuse about Bread Making Vikings..... I mean, it's not helping his case.

This sets up how the rest of the story goes down. There are explicable factors why both aren't successful communicating. It's not that they haven't tried, haven't tried enough, or Are The Worst People To Communicate Ever. They're struggling with communication problems that are simultaneously complicated and very common to life.

Why did Stoick excitedly come to Hiccup to talk about dragon training and killing a dragon? Because he heard from others that Hiccup was excelling. What was Hiccup doing? Trying to convince people he was doing dragon training "correctly". Stoick believed what Hiccup was trying to project! Again, Stoick had no way of knowing Hiccup had Magically Befriended The Enemy, that would in fact be an unlikely thing to assume, so coming to talk to his son about dragon training funsies was a reasonable assumption. Hiccup hiding he wasn't doing dragon training properly is the reason why that conversation failed.

Stoick came into that conversation to listen to Hiccup. That was the entire purpose. To bond and hear what his son was experiencing! He picked up on Hiccup being awkward and ergo let Hiccup end the conversation short, but there are three thousand explanations for why Hiccup might've been awkward, so it's not like he's going to pick up on why Hiccup was awkward here. He didn't Flunk a Chat here. He in fact did the right thing of noticing verbal cues and body language and respecting now wasn't Hiccup's preferred time to chat. Dad was listening.

Hiccup's primary motive is to hide The Dragon, and you could say, "He doesn't want to anger Dad," but it's not just fear. He's not being rude to Stoick, either. He's not being sarcastic or snippish, which he doesn't hesitate to do towards his father; you might say he's trying to decline the conversation while not dampening his father's spirits. Stoick wants to be happy with his son, and Hiccup doesn't want his dad to go away from the conversation bitter. They both intend well for each other here. They'd both rather be on good terms with each other.

I think you're totally right they messed up listening to each other. That they're not perfect at it. Hiccup blatantly ignored his father's instructions about personal safety; Stoick bulldozed over Hiccup expressing what should have been a parent-concerning reversal of wanting to go to Dragon Training.

But there's a ton of nuance going on here, and I'm not going to get into all of it - we don't have the time. And I'm writing 100% from memory as it is, rushing, during a work break. But I wanted to go into some of this to opine - they're not blanketly bad at listening to each other. I'd say they're average people doing average conversation mishaps. They're in the middle of weird circumstances. And, like all people, they're trying to concentrate on navigating many things - their feelings, the other person's feelings, their perceptions of the other's approval, their perceptions of what is and isn't appropriate to do and say. In the midst of all that, you miss things the other person said, or you have no way of knowing the other factors that person has hiding behind them. Sometimes I'm so emotionally stressed I miss an indicator from my conversation partner. I don't think either Hiccup or Stoick is doing horrible for communication skills. They're not going to be Conversation Life Coaches, but they're in the middle of a realistic tangle of why Communication Is Hard.

Lots of movies it's annoying when you can see the problem being solved if the characters simply TALKED to each other.

HTTYD works because they're trying.

Oh, they're trying so hard.

And they're both doing some things right and some things wrong and notice some things and respond to the other kindly and then miss other things and make the other feel uncomfortable for what they missed and on and on and on and on and on.

They're TALKING. They care. They're just struggling to meet in the middle. Lots of weird circumstances make it HARD to meet in the middle.

That's why the movie works.

#long post #Haddock puts in three thousand unnecessarily adverbs and sentences because Haddock cannot write briefly without edits #analysis #my analysis #httyd #How to Train Your Dragon #Hiccup #Stoick #Haddock family #ask #ask me #awesome anonymous friend #anonymous

286 notes · View notes

spartanguard · 2 years

Text

most wanted (9/11) [CSSNS 2021]

Summary: Killian Jones has been tracking Emma Swan, notorious cat burglar, across the realm as she’s wanted for murder. The sooner he finds her, the faster he gets back to his daughter. But meeting an enchanting lass in a small village—along with Miss Swan’s feline familiar (perhaps too familiar)—definitely affects his plans; this case might not be as open-and-shut as he’d like.

A/N: Well I had planned to get this up a week or so ago but *life*. Hopefully these last few chapters will go up a bit quicker! Thank you for sticking around! As always, thanks to the best beta ever @optomisticgirl and to @cssns for putting on the event each year, even if I am woefully late with this one.

As much as Killian had romanticized the mattresses at Granny’s, he was pleased to find his own was far more comfortable than he recalled (especially compared to his bedroll and the hard-packed dirt they’d camped on the previous nights).

He slept in a bit later than he normally would have, even though he went to bed roughly the same time he always did, shortly after he’d tucked Alice back in. Belle had retired nearly as soon as he’d rejoined them, most likely so she could have some more time to read on her own, but she’d given him an arched eyebrow as she headed to her room that he couldn’t quite interpret, though suggested she was leaving him alone with Emma intentionally.

There hadn’t been much for them to say, however, other than show her the way to the little-used spare bedroom and wish her a good night. He did apologize for the relatively spartan state of the room—it was truly just a bed and a nightstand, with threadbare curtains barely covering its windows, but Emma waved him off. “Compared to some places I’ve slept, this is luxury,” she assured him. “Probably the nicest I’ll have for a while.”

That was a sufficiently awkward enough note to end the conversation on. He could only hope sleep had found her as swiftly as it had him.

Now, though, as he lazed under the covers, glancing around the familiar trappings of his room and smelling the first whiff of sausage from where Belle was already working in the kitchen, he found that sleep had rested his body and brain, but not his conflicting thoughts and feelings.

But they only needed to lay low for a couple of days—just enough time to let Neal lose their trail and for them to come up with some semblance of a plan for exoneration. He could handle that.

He hoped.

And while he was sorely tempted to whittle down that time by hiding away in his room further, his stomach grumbled its own desires, so he slowly got up, dug some fresh clothes out of his musty wardrobe, quickly cleaned up at his well-loved wash stand, and headed out to the main room.

He was glad that Belle was the only one up—and that she already had a fresh mug of coffee waiting.

They shared quiet good mornings as he grabbed the cup, took a long pull from it, then went about setting the table per usual while exchanging simple pleasantries, like asking how he slept, and how she was liking the new book. Comfortable silence eventually settled on them as they continued their morning routine, but once he took a seat—while Belle was plating pancakes—she addressed him a bit more seriously.

“Killian…I know you know what you’re doing, and I trust your judgment, but…please be careful.”

“I always am,” he assured her. It had only taken one close call with a wanted pirate he was bringing in for him to exercise more caution while working, lest anything potentially take him away from Alice. (Though it wasn’t as obvious an injury as that to his left arm, the scar leftover from the bullet graze he took in that encounter carried almost as much weight.)

“You know what I mean,” she admonished, giving him a stern look. “I’m not talking physically; I’m talking emotionally.” He opened his mouth to protest, but she wouldn’t let him. “Don’t try to deny anything; I know you well, Killian Jones, and I read your letters.”

He’d long since learned when to argue with Belle and when it was a losing battle; the current discussion was the latter. Instead, he took another drag of his coffee to gird himself for whatever she was building to.

She busied herself at the stove for a bit, letting tension build in the quiet (though he could hear the creak of a bed frame somewhere in the house). But after she’d set the platters of food on the table, she put her hand over his brace—more specifically, over his blunted wrist. “We’ve both been there, Killian,” she cautioned, concern in her blue eyes. “I don’t want you—either of us—to get hurt again.”

“I know,” he sighed, reaching over to pat her hand where it rested on his arm. She’d always had an uncanny way of reading his worries better than he did. “I know.”

She gave him a sad half-smile and then a peck on the cheek—but then both jumped at the sound of the squeaky floorboard in the living room being stepped on.

“Oh—sorry,” Emma apologized, averting her eyes. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Nothing to interrupt,” Belle waved off and moved back toward the stove. “Coffee?”

“Please,” she practically moaned, drawing a chuckle from the others. Almost instinctively, Killian stood and pulled out a seat for her, which she accepted, albeit cautiously—as though she was afraid she might break something or commit a faux pas.

Until the mug was in front of her and she pounced on it, draining it in one gulp.

“Did you sleep alright, love?” he had to ask.

“Oh, best I’ve slept in a while,” she answered. “Almost too well. Is that mattress magic? Because I could very easily fall back into it right now.”

Belle laughed and refilled Emma’s mug. “No; it’s exceedingly normal. But probably better than sleeping in the woods.”

“By far.”

The three of them started in on breakfast—Alice wouldn’t be up for a bit—and made light conversation, but he could tell something was bothering Emma.

So could Belle. “It looks like a question is caught in your throat,” Belle said to her. “You can ask.”

(He wasn’t sure what it meant that, despite her reservations, Belle seemed just as comfortable around Emma as he was.)

Emma briefly worried her bottom lip while glancing between the two of them. “I didn’t mean to overhear, and if I’m prying, you don’t have to answer, but…what you were talking about when I came in. Where exactly is it you’ve been before?”

Killian looked over at Belle, who had also sought out his attention. Even though his own history had been nagging at him the past few days, he’d hesitated to share it with Emma, for what were hopefully obvious reasons. But Belle’s tale wasn’t his to share—even if, he now realized, they had discussed it in part. Still—it was a fairly loaded question and he’d need a boost of confidence from Belle to be willing to divulge it.

The far-too-casual shrug she gave was enough.

“I haven’t told you about Alice’s mother, have I?” he started, facing Emma again.

“No,” she confirmed. “But I got the impression she was out of the picture.”

“Aye, and with good reason.” Belle was already topping off his mug, knowing he’d need the extra fuel; he swallowed it down and began the story:

After Milah died, after he’d lost his hand, and early in his bounty hunting career, he was still an angry young man but no longer quite so rebellious. That said, he still enjoyed his fair share of vices—most notably, booze and women (and the combination thereof).

He was no stranger to dive bars as both a place for recreation and information, and found himself in one such locale on a quest for news of the Dark One—one of the most sadistic criminals the kingdom had yet known. He wasn’t just after riches; he was after power—of the magic variety. It wasn’t uncommon to find a wake of bodies with their hearts ripped from their chests in his trail as he sought the magical objects that would grant him what he sought.

One of those bodies was Milah’s, though that one was obviously a bit more personal.

When Killian’s less-than-legal pursuits of the demon proved fruitless, Nemo had offered him the chance to do it the right way—and he’d jumped on it. Granted, there were some bits of procedure and bureaucracy back then that he found pointless (and, if he was being honest, still did), but he was certainly making more progress than his previous attempts.

That night in particular had ended up being a bust; whatever tip Graham had passed along to him was a dead end, so he decided it best to salvage the evening any way he could. He started by ordering a bottle of cheap rum from the bartender and quickly downing a few shots, which apparently drew the attention of another patron.

Her name was Eloise, and though he couldn’t recall her opening line, he remembered being charmed by it—as well as her strawberry-blonde curls and the bit of wildness in her smile. They began to exchange words and shots, until they had a hearty buzz going on. He made up a story about still being a sailor; she told him she worked as a maid for a local aristocrat. In hindsight, he should have known she wasn’t being forthright when he wasn’t either, but he didn’t rightly care in the moment.

She invited him to her room above the bar. He accepted. And they spent one very pleasurable night together, before bidding an amicable adieu in the morning.

Though he wouldn’t have minded seeing her again, he wasn’t naive enough to expect he ever would—especially as the chase for the Dark One picked up. He’d honestly forgotten entirely about her as he worked towards, and eventually succeeded in, taking down the demon in the next few months.

It wasn’t until several months later, when he was tasked with bringing in a con artist named Eloise, that the memories of her and that night began to trickle in—but it was a fairly common name, and he had no reason to assume the two were the same. She hadn’t struck him as the type to prey on others under the guise of an expectant mother in need of help, only to rob them blind and disappear.

Not until he actually tracked down the mark to where she was operating, in a town not far from where they’d met, and the woman on the other side of the door at the address given to him by her latest victim proved to be none other than his past paramour.

They were both briefly stunned, but he recovered sooner than she did. “Well, hello again, love. Should I be flattered that you didn’t steal from me, too?” he asked as he quickly handcuffed her.

“It wasn’t me,” she protested, albeit weakly; even she knew the jig was up. “I’m just an innocent young mother—”

“Sure you are,” he sneered, glancing her up and down as he slipped the magic-blocking cuff on her wrist and took in the noticeable lack of belly; he had to assume it had been an illusion and he wasn’t about to let her use any power she might have to escape. “You’re not even actually pregnant.”

“Not anymore,” she scoffed.

“What?” That made him pause, but the subsequent wails of an infant from farther back in the room drew his attention.

“Yes, I really had a baby,” she continued, sounding more annoyed than happy over the event. “No thanks to you.”

“What?” he repeated, further in disbelief.

“She’s yours. Go on, look.”

A pit had formed in his stomach, and his instincts warned that she could be lying. Although—he thought back to the date of their tryst, and the math did add up.

Cautiously, he stepped toward the bassinet in the middle of the bare-bones room. The babe’s cries picked up in intensity, and he was overcome with the need to comfort her. But he remained wary.

However, he knew it was true the moment he stood over her. Her features were unmistakably similar to those of his mother, most notably the slightly pointed ears he had also inherited—a trademark passed down from their elfin ancestry several generations back.

“Can you take her?” Eloise asked. “Honestly, I was about ready to give her up.”

Fire quickly replaced shock. “And you weren’t going to tell me?” The idea of any child being abandoned like he was, let alone his own flesh and blood, was horrifying.

“How would I have?” she spat back.

She had a point; they’d only ever exchanged first names. But she couldn’t truly expect him to be thinking rationally at the moment, not with the weight of the information—and responsibility—she’d just dropped on him.

He swallowed, and then turned his attention back to the babe, and carefully picked her up, careful to keep the sharp end of his hook away from her. She quieted nearly as soon as he pulled her against his chest, and looked up at him with her big blue eyes—and that was that.

Thankfully, he’d been working the job with Graham, who soon arrived to see what was taking so long. Graham took over from there, after Eloise assured him that she wanted nothing to do with the child. “She’s all yours. Good luck—she’s a screamer.”

“And then I took her home, and, nine years later, here we are,” he concluded. “It’s not something I’m the most proud of, but I wouldn’t trade Alice for the world.”

“Wow,” Emma sighed, but the way she was staring at the table and seemed to be hunched in on herself told him she was feeling a bit of shame. He hadn’t told her the story to make her feel bad, though there were some obvious parallels in choice of careers. “What happened to Eloise?” she asked timidly.

“She went away for a while,” he answered simply. “Unfortunately, I heard that she passed a few years ago. Though, if I’m being honest, it was something of a relief—I didn’t have to worry about her changing her mind about Alice anymore.”

“It’s her loss,” Emma told him. “Alice is amazing, and you’ve done a wonderful job with her.”

“Thank you,” he replied, blushing per usual. “But Belle gets a lot of the credit, too. Although the look of shock on your face when I arrived home with her is still seared in my memory,” he chuckled, glancing over at Belle.

“How else was I supposed to react? You didn’t even send a letter to warn me!” she chided, but she was laughing, too. If they hadn't been able to find any humor in the things life had thrown at them, gods only knew how insane they’d be driven by now.

“I guess that partly answers how long you’ve been living together,” Emma continued. “You said you were siblings, or sort of?”

He and Belle exchanged another look that probably only served to confirm their type of relationship to Emma, even though it was a fair bit more complicated than that. “Well,” he started, but wasn’t sure how to continue without getting into Belle’s story, and he didn’t want to be the one to share it.

Thankfully, she took over. “Actually, that’s where my own tale comes in,” Belle started. “I’ve been with him since the take-down of the Dark One…because I was with the Dark One.”

“He had you captive?” Emma gasped.

“No, I was…I loved him.”

The fact that she used past tense didn’t escape Killian’s notice; it had taken Belle some time to come to terms with her feelings towards the man, even if she’d been glad their relationship was over and he’d been imprisoned.

Emma’s eyes widened. “Oh, you’re that Belle?”

Belle tilted her head in confusion. “Beg your pardon?”

Now Emma looked nervous—although Killian was quickly connecting the dots in his head. “I guess I forgot to mention last night that my ex was Neal—the Dark One’s son,” she explained.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Belle cursed. “So I was nearly your mother-in-law?”

“Apparently,” Emma replied, laughing slightly in disbelief. “It always bugged Neal that his dad was dating someone not a ton older than he was.”

“I can’t say I was unaware of the situation, but Neal came around so little, it wasn’t a significant concern on my end.” Belle sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry to hear his life went in that direction, though; I know he didn’t like the idea of following in his father’s footsteps, but it sounds like he didn’t stray as far from it as I might have thought.”

“He hates magic, but otherwise, he’s not afraid to go to any end to get what he wants.”

“That definitely sounds familiar,” Belle commiserated. “Well, I suppose that all was more of an answer than you expected to your initial question.”

“A bit,” she concurred, “but I guess I’m not all that shocked that the world is slightly smaller than I thought it was.” The warm look she gave Killian then suggested she didn't mind that fact.

It was strange for Killian to think that, in another life, they all might still have found their way to each other; it was an idea he was about to voice when Alice practically ran out of her room, shouting her good mornings to everyone.

As she usually did, Alice became the focus of everyone’s attention, and hers was unsurprisingly fixated on Emma, who thankfully had already had her meal or she wouldn’t have been able to eat between Alice’s endless questions.

But as the day wore on, his mind wandered back to his previous thought—had fate actually brought them all together? The overlaps in their lives were too numerous to be coincidental.

Or was he merely grasping at straws in an attempt to justify the feelings that wouldn’t budge? Because if there was one thing he realized while reflecting on his past liaisons—particularly with Eloise, and the memories of Milah that always came up when mentioning the Dark One—it was that, despite knowing he shouldn’t, he most certainly still had them for Emma as well, far deeper than he thought he did.

Belle had been correct in her warning; she usually was. But only he could mitigate the impending heartbreak.

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

Killian tried to keep his distance from Emma over the next couple of days, but the house was only so big, and there was still the matter of determining a plan before they headed for Longbourn that necessitated they spend time together.

To make matters worse—or better; he wasn’t sure—Emma seemed to fit into their little life all too well. She was patient with Alice; she got on well with Belle; and seemed comfortable exploring the woods nearby and lounging on the seashore the house overlooked. She insisted on helping with chores when Alice wasn’t dragging her away to show her something, even though he and Belle both assured her she was fine—but he knew it was old instincts (orphan instincts) trying to make sure she was useful so they’d keep her around, even if her stay had a definitive end date.

Those couple evenings were spent far too casually and comfortably in the great room, everyone chatting, reading, or just with Emma in her cat form curled up and purring in Alice’s lap. Ever inquisitive, that was one of the first questions Alice had begged of Emma after she interrupted their breakfast conversation. (Though they feigned disinterest, the other adults were curious about that, too.)

Emma had shown Alice her tattoo, explaining how it was imbued with transformation magic. “All I have to do is think about it, and then it just…happens.”

Alice traced it with her index finger. “Does it always hum like that?”

“Hum?” The question seemed to take Emma aback.

“Aye—you don’t feel it? It’s like—warm and vibrate-y.”

Emma looked over at Killian with a confused furrow in her brow, but Killian could only raise his and shrug in response. Considering he and Belle were only ever on the periphery of magic use, they had long since learned to roll with whatever Alice said about her own innate sense of it.

“Can you show me?” Alice continued, oblivious to the adults’ bewilderment.

“Of course,” Emma answered, sounding glad for the redirect. She shifted forms right on the chair, and then shifted back, all while Alice stared with stars in her eyes.

“Papa, can I get a tattoo like that?” she nearly begged.

He couldn’t help but chuckle, but had to tell her, “Maybe when you’re older.”

Alice briefly pouted, but then grabbed Emma’s hand and pulled her away on a tour of the house and yard, and that had been roughly the situation for the duration of those couple days.

At night, after Alice was asleep, they discussed the best way to deal with Emma’s predicament and to hopefully deal with Neal at the same time. They’d come to something resembling a plan, and Killian had Belle send a letter to Nemo when she made a trip into the closest village the day before they set to depart—a moment he was both eager for and dreading.

Obviously, he hated to leave Alice again so soon, even if he’d only be gone a few days and not the almost interminable weeks he’d spent chasing Emma. But despite his best efforts, it was far too easy to fall into playing family with Emma there, and more than once, he had to catch himself—from admiring the way the sun hit her braided-back hair while she worked in the yard, hinting at its natural golden color; from grinning at the way she and Alice were giggling and holding hands upon returning from a hike; from realizing just how close their bodies—especially, her lips to his—were while hunched over a map of the kingdom. (She may also have jumped away upon noticing the last one, much to his simultaneous relief and dismay.)

(The number of times one of them caught the other’s eye while trying not to stare was countless.)

At least he had a bit of a respite during nightly story time with Alice, even if the book was intrinsically linked with Emma. Seeing it through Alice’s eyes gave it a different life, though, and he was enjoying picking up on details he had missed in his first furious read-through while also seeing Alice’s reactions. And gods, he prayed she never grew too big to share this tradition with him; even if she was well on her way to adolescence, having her tucked into his side as they read made it feel like she’d always be his little girl—and like he wasn’t missing out on watching her grow when his work took him away for far-too-long stretches of time.

(And he was actively avoiding thoughts of the bounty he’d likely collect when this adventure was all over, considering the cost it was going to come at.)

On that last night of their detour, he had kept reading until Alice was asleep—which didn’t take long, as she’d spent the better part of the afternoon running around in the ocean’s shallows with Emma. When he reached the end of that chapter, he made sure to put the bookmark at the end of the previous one so she wouldn’t miss anything when they picked it back up.

He set it on her bedside table and slowly stood from the mattress, being careful to not disturb Alice too much. She noticed, though, and was blearily blinking her eyes even before he’d pressed a kiss to her forehead and wished her a good sleep.

“Papa, I like Emma,” she muttered sleepily.

His heart skipped the same beat it’d been hopping over for the past few days. But he responded as casually as he could. “I’m glad to hear that, starfish.”

“Do you like her?” she asked innocently.

“Aye, I do. That’s why I’m helping her.”

“But do you like-like her? Like how Westley likes Buttercup?”

He sighed. It was far too late into the evening to even try to give that a proper answer. “I…I don’t know, love,” would have to suffice for now.

“Well, you should,” she told him, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

He had to chuckle at her bluntness, even if the statement reminded him why he didn’t want Alice getting attached to Emma in the first place. Ah, well—he could deal with the fallout from that later, whatever it ended up being. “Good night, Alice,” he farewelled, tucked her in with a kiss, and turned down her lamp. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Papa,” she replied—at least, it sounded vaguely like that, as she was well on her way back to sleep.

Emma had already turned in when he went back out to the main room, and he probably should have, too, but Belle was staring into the fire with a pensive look on her face that usually meant she wanted to talk.

“Well,” he started as he eased down into his chair opposite her. “What lecture do you have for me now?”

She rolled her eyes at his bluntness, but then her expression turned soft. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he deflected, though it was more for his own benefit than to get her off his case.

“Killian David Jones,” she chided. “You know what I mean. You always do.”

“Isabelle Colette French,” he threw back, but didn’t have much more of a retort. “Aye, I’ll be fine…eventually,” he conceded. “I’ll have to be. Though I may brood for a bit.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything else.” She stood and stretched, yawning audibly, then rested her hand on his shoulder. “And it’s a bloody shame; I really like her. You’d be so good together.”

His jaw dropped in shock; that was quite the opposite of her position just the other morning. He looked up at her to see whether or not she was being serious, but she was already walking away to her room. She wasn’t one to tease in matters of the heart, though (well, other than mocking over the occasional pass made at him by the Widow Feinberg in the village, but the older woman did that to any man under the age of 40).

As good as the validation of his feelings felt, there wasn’t much to be done about it. He still had to get Emma to Longbourn—she was still a wanted criminal. He sighed heavily and scrubbed a hand down his face in something resembling exasperation, though more with the situation than anyone in particular.

He stared at the dying embers in the fire for another long moment, before deciding it best to head to bed himself; they were planning on setting off by midday, and there was still packing and other chores to be done before they could leave, so he’d need his rest tonight.

Of course, it wouldn’t come. Anxiety and anticipation for whatever was to come the next couple of days wouldn’t let him rest, along with the ongoing uncertainty towards how he should approach his feelings for Emma.

Should he just give in, and enjoy whatever they might have for this brief time? Or start pulling back and brace for the inevitable withdrawal? (He’d experienced that a couple times in this life, purging alcohol from his system, and it hadn’t been pleasant; while this might hurt less physically, the emotional toll would probably come close.)

He tried all the tricks he normally used when sleep evaded him—listing off constellations, making lists of what needed to be done, even simply counting his breaths—but any time he managed to drift off, it wasn’t for long; he was far too consumed by nervous energy.

Finally, some time near sunrise, he gave up altogether and threw the covers off in a fit of exasperation. He got up and grabbed his dressing robe, stepped into his slippers, then tiptoed outside as quietly as he could manage, lest he disturb his sleeping housemates.

He wandered out to the beach, hoping the gentle waves and rising sun would give him a chance to calm his erratic nerves, only to find he wasn’t the only one with that idea. Emma stood near the edge of the shore, arms wrapped around her as she stared out at the horizon. A slight breeze blew her skirt around her legs and her hair into her face, and she shivered; apparently, he was the more prepared of the two of them.

“You should be asleep,” he said softly as he wrapped his robe around her. “Or at least dressed more warmly.”

She had jumped when he spoke, evidently not hearing his approach, but relaxed when she saw it was him and didn’t hesitate to pull the robe tighter around her. “So should you. And I guess I forgot how cold it can get by the ocean; I don’t remember it being this chilly in Storybrooke.”

“We’re a bit farther north, and Storybrooke has some natural insulation from the wind with the way its harbor is shaped. Your skirt certainly doesn’t help,” he added lightly.

She had borrowed a dress from Belle to wear while her cream gown was being washed; it fit, but she had a good few inches on Belle and it left her lower legs uncovered. There wasn’t much light but by the way she was standing, he had to assume her skin was covered in gooseflesh. (His certainly was, but he was also more accustomed to the temperature. Still—he was grabbing a sweater when they went back inside.)

“I’ll survive,” she brushed off, but the way she seemed to nestle even further into the robe showed her appreciation. As did the genuine “thank you” that followed.

“I’d be a piss-poor host to drag you all this way and then let you die of a chill in what's supposed to be a haven. But you’re most welcome.”

They fell silent, watching the sky and sea as the waves lapping at the shore tried to drown out the unsaid words between them. The horizon was just beginning to lighten, slowly hiding the stars that hung low in the sky.

“So, why couldn’t you sleep?” Emma asked quietly, her eyes staying forward.

He hummed in thought—not because he didn’t know the reason, but because he wasn’t sure he wanted to confess how much of it was her. “Just…a little bit of everything,” he settled on, hoping that was equal parts vague and descriptive enough to define his mental state.

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” she replied, sighing a bit. At least he wasn’t alone in that.

She seemed very intent on rolling a stone around under her boot, so he didn’t say anything to interrupt her, but he did notice that she seemed a bit restless. It wasn’t surprising, really, when he thought about it; not only was she on the cusp of going to prison, most likely, she also hadn’t taken a chance to really pause in the last couple months. He had chalked it up to life on the lam, but it was just as likely she enjoyed being constantly on the move. Before Alice, he’d much preferred constant motion, lest his ghosts catch up with him, and goodness knew Emma had a few of her own.

But…she was still here. So he had to ask, “Why haven’t you run away?”

She stiffened a bit at the question, but wasn’t outright offended—which told him he’d hit close to home. “I thought about it,” she said, sounding almost disappointed. “Even this morning, I debated just transforming and making a break for it. But I couldn’t.”

“Why not?” His voice was far more unsteady than he intended.

“It’s kind of like you said,” she shrugged, eyes still on the pebbled ground. “It’d be incredibly rude of me to take advantage of your kindness only to make my own escape, and probably end up getting you into trouble in the process. There’s been enough collateral damage around me lately; I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to you, too.”

The familiar stutter of his heart allowed the breath he was holding to escape. He hadn’t doubted that she cared for him, but hearing that was somewhat bittersweet: she cared enough about him to not hurt him, even though it was coming at the cost of her own freedom. And he didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I…I appreciate that, greatly,” he eventually told her. He also finally dared to look over at her, only to find her giving him a small, slightly sad smile that he both understood and returned.

Another shiver took over her then, so he stepped closer and wrapped his arm around her. Only then did he realize that he hadn’t put his brace on, but if she noticed his blunted left wrist resting on her shoulder, she didn’t acknowledge it; all she did was rest her head on his shoulder, bringing them ever closer.

They stayed like that until the sun fully rose, bathing everything in its orange light. It wasn’t hard to imagine starting the day like this more often than not, but such daydreams were moot at this point.

A shudder wracked his body; it was his turn to feel the effects of the cool temperatures, even if the sun was warm on his face. Emma only chuckled, though, and stepped back, but reached for his hand. “C’mon; let’s head back in. Do you have any cocoa?”

“Maybe?”

“I hope so. Let me make you some.”

Thankfully, they did, and she made it with care. He was mildly amused when she dug out some cinnamon from the pantry to put on hers, but when he tried it for himself, he immediately understood the appeal: sweet with just a hint of spice—much like the woman sitting across from him at the dining table. (Belle and Alice seemed to enjoy it, too, when they eventually rose.)

While he would have much preferred that morning be the first spent in a similar manner, if it had to be the last, he would take it.

◇─◇──◇────◇────◇────◇────◇────◇─────◇──◇─◇

thanks for reading! tagging some (let me know if you do/don’t want a tag!) @kat2609 @xpumpkindumplingx @shipsxahoy @shireness-says @ohmightydevviepuu @profdanglaisstuff @thisonesatellite @winterbythesea @mryddinwilt @cocohook38 @annytecture @wingedlioness @word-bug @distant-rose @wellhellotragic @welllpthisishappening @let-it-raines @pirateherokillian @its-imperator-furiosa @fergus80 @killianmesmalls @thejollyroger-writer @ineffablecolors @laschatzi @ive-always-been-a-pirate @nfbagelperson @stubblesandwich @phiralovesloki @athenascarlet @kmomof4 @ilovemesomekillianjones @whimsicallyenchantedrose @snowbellewells @idristardis @scientificapricot @searchingwardrobes @donteattheappleshook @jrob64 @the-darkdragonfly @itsfabianadocarmo @stahlop @klynn-stormz @resident-of-storybrooke @deckerstarblanche

#cs ff #cssns 2021 #cssns21 #wish kj ff #most wanted #my ff

30 notes · View notes

cacti-are-like-flamingos · 3 years

Text

The Golden Hand

° Assassin’s Creed Odyssey Imagine °

Chapter 4

Fem! Reader

Central Masterlist | The Golden Hand

You gazed upon the piece of parchment as though it had told you the ugliest truth. Your brows furrowed and wrinkled as your eyes displayed the world’s most intense confusion.

Just what the hell did Alexios write?!

Allow me to explain, you had woken just a few minutes ago. Your legs sore from yesterday’s horseback riding and your eyes swollen from a night’s crying session. It was only after you had searched all over the house and near fields that you came to the conclusion that your only guide had gone off, most likely either in search of new employment or finishing one.

You sighed, “Most likely it just says he’ll be back by ---what? Sundown? Yeah, sounds reasonable enough.” You spoke to no one but yourself.

Situating yourself back onto your bed, you allowed yourself to relax. Leaning your back onto the cold stone wall with your eyes closed, you took a deep breath in. The memories of the day before still fresh in your mind. You could still hear their screams...the pain in that little girl’s voice as she cried out for her parents to come and save her.

“Argh!” You yelled, dragging your hand down your face as you forced yourself to push down the knot that was quickly forming at the back of your throat.

“Alexios?” You jumped at the sound of a new voice. Peeking through the spaces of your fingers, you caught sight of a familiar young girl standing by the doorway. A small smile playing on her lips as she entered, “Ah! You are the pretty lady from before! Uhh...” You felt the ends of your lip contort upwards into a smile of your own upon hearing the innocent compliment. You quickly added, “(Y/n).”

“Yes (Y/n) --- wait, you have such a strange name. Are you not from here?” You chuckled, “No, no I am not. And you are Phoibe.” She nodded, “Then where are you from?” Thinking your answer over, you decided that being vague was your best friend, “I am from a land very far away. Now, you are looking for Alexios, no?” Phoibe nodded her head once more, “Yes, have you seen him?” Shifting over so that you sat at the very edge of the bed, you shook your head. A small frown hanging low on your lips, “No, but he did leave this. Are you able to read it?” You grabbed the parchment before handing it over to the brunette. Skimming over it, Phoibe quickly responded with, “Sorry but I can’t read. But it most likely says that he’ll be back soon.”

“Oh. Well, okay then.” A silence bloomed between the two of you. It was somewhat of an awkward sort considering that you had just quite actually met if one were to exclude the events of the day before. It was then that the young child called for your attention once more.

“You are not familiar with Kephallonia, right?” She asked. An excited look in her eyes. Narrowing your own slightly, you slowly nodded your head, “No I am not...why?” The child grinned.

“Would you like to go on an adventure with me?”

...

“Malakas!” Exclaimed the seasoned warrior in annoyance. The palm of his hand slapping the skin of his forehead as he sighed in exasperation. Arching a single brow, Barnabas leaned closer to his newfound friend and companion. His eyes posing the question his mouth offered to ask.

“What seems to be the matter, Alexios?” The older male inquired.

Sighing once more, the Spartan gazed back upon him, “I have committed the stupidest mistake. I shall be traveling with another and so I had left for them a message on a piece of parchment; however, it has just dawned on me that they most likely do not know how to read the language. What an idiot I am!” Barnabas roared in laughter. His calloused hands coming to grip the cloth on his stomach as he desperately tried to compose himself. All which earned him a mighty stern glare from Alexios himself.

“Do not laugh at me!” The man cried before soon he, too, began to chuckle at his own stupidity.

“Ah, Alexios, I am enjoying this friendship more than I thought I would; however, do tell me of this companion of yours,” Barnabas said, continuing to walk along the path to Sami’s Harbor where the Adrestia was docked.

“There is not much to tell. I had only met them two nights ago.” His words earned him a reaction from the other, “Two nights ago and you decide to sail with them?” “I met you not a minute ago and I am sailing with you.” Alexios retorted, a smirk tugging at his lips.

Barnabas chuckled, “Quite true. Why are you to sail with them, may I ask?” This question, however, was briefly answered with a moment of silence as Alexios pondered how to word his actual answer. Perhaps it was better to avoid the truth for now and only speak partly of it.

“She saved my life, and in return, she asks for me to take her home,” Alexios answered at last.

“Oh? A woman?” Alexios nodded, “Yes. I owe her my life. Although, I know not of the ways to get her home.” The silver-haired probed, “And why’s that?”

Licking his lips, the misthios gazed upon the nearing vessel that was to be his ship, “Let’s just say, she is quite far from home.”

...

You never would have thought that when Phoibe mentioned an adventure, that the adventure would mean walking all across the main island. Like damn, your feet really hurt. It’s genuinely unbelievable how the people walk miles in literal sandals. Panting heavily, you watched with tired eyes as Phoibe continued to move forth with grand energy.

“Hurry (Y/n)! I have to finish this adventure so that Markos can give me another!” The scrawny little girl exclaimed, climbing over some well-sized boulders not too far from where you had taken a rest stop.

“If...you’d had informed me that this...adventure was actually just you running...errands---ugh, how I miss my bed.” You cried.

Rolling her eyes, Phoibe jumped off from the large rock and instead jumped onto your figure. Groaning loudly as your body stumbling backward with the additional sudden weight, “Phoibe...!” In the spur of a moment, she turned around and began to run down one of the forks in the path, yelling, “I’ll be back!”

You went to chase after her, shouting out her name in protest for her to come back, but unfortunately, her small body allowed her to be faster. And so, soon enough, her figure fell out of sight and you were, once again, left alone and to your own devices.

How swell.

Taking a moment to calm down the painful drumming of your heart, you groaned as you shifted your weight to your other foot. The feeling of pins and needles digging into the flesh of your foot being too great for you. You seriously needed to rest somewhere. And it had to be NOW.

Quickly moving towards the boulders, you threw yourself onto the one closest to your height, a sigh of pure instant relief escaping past your lips. You stayed there for a moment, slowing down your breathing to a proper pace. You breathed the fresh sea air into the depths of your diaphragm, allowing our blood to enrich itself with precious oxygen before breathing out the remainder. You could feel yourself instantly loosen up. The tension in your shoulder’s soon disappearing away as if they had never been there in the first place.

It was in this brief moment of peace that your thoughts became muddied with worry and conflict. Yesterday plagued your mind unlike any other memory you stored. It was strange, you know? The fact that you tore yourself apart at the remembrance of how you sent a family to their deaths whilst you bore almost no remorse for the man you helped kill upon your arrival. Was it because you did it in an effort to save someone? Is that why you felt nothing about it? But then again, you didn’t really send that family to their deaths...wait, but by doing nothing, you did.

Is this really the right time to question your mor-

“Oh my, I must say that such a horrid expression is quite unbefitting of such a beauty much like yourself my dear.” You snapped your gaze up to the face of man you were unfamiliar with. There stood man, much older than you, wearing a look of curious upon his aged features. A gentle smirk sitting about his shaven face as his eyes sparkled with the faintest glint of intrigue. You had to admit, something about him didn’t sit quite as well as you had hoped with you. In your eyes, he was much like a snake. Hidden in the grass and ready to bite.

You smiled bashfully, “Thank you...?” “Elpenor. I hope you do not mind the sudden intrude, it’s just that to see such a lovely creature as yourself with a look so conflicted as that was quite troubling to me. People who have been blessed by the goddess Aphrodite should always bear a fruitful smile.”

...did this motherfucker really just tell you that you would look better with a smile but just in a more eloquent and polite manner?

Huh.

You huffed at his words, “I wouldn’t go that far but, nonetheless, I thank you for your kind words Elpenor.” He smiled at your humbleness.

“Might I intrude some more and ask for your name?” You smiled, “I don’t see the harm, my name is (Y/n).” You introduced, presenting your hand to shake his own but only to have the male guide the appendage to his lips, which he used to lay a gentle kiss upon the skin of your hand.

Oh. Okay. Right.

H u h.

“It is a pleasure to have met such divinity,” You could not help the flushing of your cheeks as he continued to compliment you. Not when he spoke them with such apparent truth. His voice honeyed as to deflect any doubt of his true nature, you noted. He continued, “Judging by the weariness in your gaze, I am held to believe that you are quite tired from your travels. Perhaps you would like to accompany me...?” He gestured over to behind him. It was then that you noticed the small carriage that stood not too far, the coachmen looking away from the two of you.

“Oh. Wow. I did not see that...how...” Chuckling amusedly at your surprised expression, he repeated, “How will you answer?”

Now I know your mother always told you don’t talk to strangers and most importantly don’t get in the car with strangers but you could say the situation was rather different right now.

Thinking back to your blistering feet, you made your decision instantly. Grabbing his hand, he smiled joyously as he led you to the entrance of the wooden carriage, helping you up the steps before joining you. He sat across from you, the beautiful purple fabric he wore bundling into his lap.

And as the carriage began to move you realized something.

Where the actual fuck am I going?

...

(A/N): Got a sudden spur of inspiration lol.

Hope you enjoyed!

122 notes · View notes

macgyvertape · 3 years

Text

Castlevania kinda had a pacing problem

spoilers for all of Netflix’s Castlevania. I haven’t seen much analysis for the show on tumblr, im honestly curious if discussions I had with irl friends mirror what fandom talks about

tldr: Castlevania seems inconsistently paced from season to season, and within season as well, leads to a lot of characters motivations feeling unclear so characters repeatedly explain why they are doing something while they’re doing it

overview of the seasons:

S1 I know somewhat of a test for Netflix but it has good main trio character establishment and sets the scale of the conflict

s2: pretty complete emotional arc for most characters and resolves the plot of killing Dracula while setting up additional characters to continue the story. Isaac, Hector, Carmilla all established with the audience as characters whose story would continue

honestly I would bet this is the most popular season

S3: s2 did a bit of worldbuilding, but this season really fleshed out the world with both a wide range of locations and exploring the question of “what now, Dracula is dead but vampires and night creatures remain”.

There were basically 4 plot threads: 1) Sypha/Trevor investigating the cult & Saint Germain; 2) Hector & Carmilla (also introducing Lenore, Striga, Morana); 3) Isaac’s journey of revenge & self discovery; 4) Alucard sits around the castle and is betrayed.

overall characters roughly feel like they are in the same place if not worse. A big criticism I saw at the time, which hold up after rewatching this before s4 is nothing felt resolved for the main characters

I would say this season is where the pacing issues start to become apparent, juggling 4 plot threads that lack a central theme or even mutual character connection. If there was a central theme it would be “humans are awful to each other”. The Judge doing Hot Fuzz style murders, The Wizard in the tower, Sumi & Taka

S4: it starts with the same 4 plot threads, though upfront it is made clear that the plot theme is “people are trying to resurrect Dracula”, and the progression of the plot works to resolve unrelated plot threads until the main trio reunites for the boss fights. To me and my friends watching it was obvious that the show would reunite the main trio, the question was how and how far into the run time.

Season 4 is why I’m writing this essay, for the past 2 days I’ve been like, yeah that character sure explained their motives repeatedly maybe with some philosophical discussion, but it’s just such a weird place considering where they were in s3

Alucard’s arc:

Where he was left in season 3, it was after killing people he had trusted in self defense and impaling their corpses. It was clearly meant to parallel Dracula’s dislike of humanity. However overall his character lacked a proactive motivating force.

Honestly the most interesting thing I found in s3 was Alucard clearly misses Sypha and Trevor, however they don’t miss him or refer to him

One reason Sumi & Taka betray Alucard is for the secrets and power of Castlevania. After inviting the village including St Germain who Alucard was warned of into the Castle, Alucard makes 0 effort to secure anything, not even his personal childhood room. Guess he really learned nothing

Discussing St Germain, I think it’s funny that they had a several minute flashback sequence for his lost girlfriend (who doesn’t have a name or a voice actor), to remind the viewer of who he is, and to justify how he’s suddenly back and down for murder.

In s4 there is the call to help the village, and the walk back to the castle is a montage of Alucard opening up to Greta and becoming friendly literally overnight. He laughs off the impaling, and basically all of the darker things he went through in season 3, which has me asking what was the point of his season 3 arc then?

Honestly writing this I realize the biggest parallel he has with Dracula is the call to action from a bold woman with a dramatic entrance speech which then leads to a romance

Isaac’s arc:

in s3, with all the other themes of “humanity sucks” I was always unsure if the townspeople were meant to appear irrational while attacking a larger force instead of letting him pass through an leave, or him not caring about how he’s provoking them is meant to show his insanity

ive seen the discussion elsewhere, curious about the Discourse here

is s4 Isaac has the whole monologue about how he now has agency but him gaining that agency was his s3 arc. In s4 he’s already at the point of accepting it. By the end of s4 he’s one of those who comes the furthest from his first character appearance to his last.

s4e5 where of Isaac attacking Carmilla in Isaac’s 2nd appearance had him resolving like 4 plot threads at once (Carmilla, Striga& Morana, Hector, and Isaac himself).

but i do wonder if Trevor, Sypha, or Alucard even know any of these people exist. I think not

I was honestly confused if I missed a scene from his dialogue about building something and what is inherent nature, to “My plan has evolved, my plan is now conquest” because he only conquests the one castle and the rest is left unclear

Upon rewatch the connection there is “killing [the wizard] felt just ... I liked that feeling”, so the show says that Isaac in the end attacked Carmilla for the sake of justice and not revenge.

Isaac in his last conversation expresses the theme of s4 “build something new on these old bones, where people can live for the future”

however, his arc honestly feel scenes were cut, and then dialogue was written around it. He’s the only living character who doesn’t show up in the epilogue and the sentient night creature “what if I could empty hell” dialogue was some of the most interesting worldbuilding. Night creatures with sentience and possibility of regaining memories!!!!

The Council of Sisters & Hector’s arc:

oh I’ve already seen s4 discourse about Lenore/Hector while searching for character analysis, a chunk of it seems to be rationalizing the absolute difference between how s3 ended with these characters and s4. It was extremely confusing for me and my friends; wondering if 1) was Hector showing more emotional intelligence than before and putting on a facade to cover up hatred? Nope 2) did more time pass than 6 weeks for there to be some kind stockholm syndrome? No, Hector seems fine to let Lenore kill herself

The slave control ring: played up in the climax of s3 and easily solved s4. s3 Lenore says if he tries to harm them, flee, or take it off it would cause crippling pain, in s4 Hector just easily cuts off his own finger.

for a control ring that they take time to show a version being on the Rebus, it doesn’t do much controlling of Hector

also guess the definition of “do harm” just refers to direct action

Lenore in s4: has no purpose in conquest, has that useless remarked on by multiple characters, is imprisoned, then kills herself after a genre aware philosophical discussion. This essay is long enough, but what the fuck happened to this character who ended s3 clearly physically and sexually abusive? Seriously this was one of the biggest writing changes to the point where she was treating Hector as an equal. Compare her last words in s3 “shh the real people [vampires] are talking”. The change in the relationship is actually something I would have taken being shown, or atleast told of what exactly caused this change other than the vague “you adopted him”

Striga&Morana get the best arc of the Council. 3 scenes: the tent argument, Daybreak armor fight & argument resolution, declaration of feelings and turning away. You could argue Castlevania is plot to be connective tissue between fight scenes, but for all the dialogue about human resistance in different seasons it was nice to see it. Overall the scenes were short but had a lot of showing what their relationship is not just telling,

unlike Carmilla. For as much hyping up as they did with her, and as much power as she had, she only appeared in 2 episodes and no other group except Isaac knew about her military conquest.

the map scene where she states her motive for conquest of wanting to take things from old men is the key example of how characterization became tell not show. How interesting was that monologue compared to the past seasons flashback to her murmuring the old vampire lord, or all her repeated insults of men/man-children that shows how she judges people??

That monologue had to carry the weight of justifying the Sisterhood bonds falling apart as well as why her motivation changed from building a human pen from Styria to Braila to world conquest. I think it did so poorly

Sypha & Trevor

really Sypha & Trevor have the main plot in the show. I checked and post season 1 the only episode they don’t appear in is s4e6, which is entirely devoted to the Isaac, Hector, and Council of Sisterhood arc. Their partnership and adventures are the main plot of the show.

Its easy to see what Trevor’s arc was over the show: coming to peace with the deaths of his family, taking up the mantle of being a Belmont, and starting a new family with Sypha.

With Sypha I actually had to scroll through tv tropes for what is her character arc, and I guess hers is disillusionment from adventure and life outside the speakers? My friends joke that Sypha’s magic is what the plot demands to look cool in a fight, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tangent: the ending of their arc was easy to guess: as soon as Trevor went to fight the final boss alone I literally said “oh i bet Sypha’s pregnant, Trevor’s doing a heroic sacrifice, theyll use the unexplained magical dagger mcguffin, and 60/40 odds that he goes through an infinite corridor to outright come back vs just the implication he might come back”

I guess my final thought of the show, was overall the SUPER Final Boss got my by surprise. It was a good twist I enjoyed. Not that Death appeared, I had guessed that from the heavy foreshadowing, but I was surprised by who it was, because I had thought I thought the characters involved feeling shoehorned into the plot was just more bad writing. The Alchemist who put St Germain on the path or murder for no discernible motive for helping? Sure gotta move the plot along. New Dracula court member Varney who has a whole introduction with almost every character he meets and banter about his smell? Sure thats basically how all characters talk with a snarky and acerbic voice.

#Castlevania #castlevania spoilers #castlevania meta #castlevania season four #overall i enjoyed the show #id love to find some discussion of the show #this wound up being more of a recap than a persuasive essay #but i think my tldr thesis statement stands

30 notes · View notes

ganymedesclock · 4 years

Text

Given PK is, as one might guess from the blog, a character I kinda really love thinking about and exploring, and also someone where not a lot of his personality is very ‘available’ to the audience so you have to do a lot of conjecture and headcanon about what’s ticking away under the surface, it’s always fun to trace my personal inspirations.

And for the version of PK I write over at Remnantverse, there is definitely a certain amount of DNA from Lord Shen from Kung Fu Panda.

For the unfamiliar- or, for the familiar wondering what elements I’m specifically thinking of- Shen is an arrogant lord and the main antagonist of the second movie. Relatively sickly in an environment ruled by powerful martial artists, Shen pioneered the use of gunpowder as weapons from his family’s background in fireworks, and makes a pretty terrifying display of a famous martial artist who stood against him by destroying the latter’s defenses with his new weapon: a cannon.

It’s also made clear fairly early on that Shen is a testy perfectionist who has not just a practical inventor’s lens on things but a more poetic or theatrical sense that he insists things are strictly to his vision- and it’s a sign he’s going seriously off the rails with stress and frustration when he starts disregarding these fiddly details (insisting “the year of the peacock begins NOW” and simply glaring down a subordinate who points out that by that logic, he’d only get half a year since it’s nowhere near New Years)

But I think the biggest element of “PK Mood” in Shen, is one conversation he has with Po- Po has spent the movie up to a certain point reeling with trauma from a half-remembered incident with Shen’s forces in his early childhood; but when he comes to terms with this and faces it in a visually gorgeous scene, and then comes back to square off with Shen, the latter is flabbergasted that Po no longer seems bothered by it. To recall the conversation more or less from memory:

Shen “I scarred you for life,” Po “Scars heal,” Shen “no they don’t,” Po “yeah, I guess... they fade?” Shen “I don’t care what scars do.”

And it’s in this interesting moment we see, in Shen, not the confident warlord he presents himself as, but the crux of his problem: this is a guy who’s never gotten over anything in his life, to such a point that it feels like a completely alien and ridiculous concept that someone could just... heal. The reality of scars, is they are not static, not as long as we’re still alive. They warp, shift, fade. Our body reassembles itself. We may not be good as new, we may not even be “better” but we will never stay the same.

It’s this sense of someone in a stasis position. And this conversation points out to us Shen’s quite literally fatal flaw. When Po destroys his fleet in the end of the story, Shen is able to witness his ship’s cannon falling towards him. At this point, we know, while Shen is a weaker antagonist, he is absolutely fast and light on his feet- absolutely fast enough to get out of the way.

He doesn’t.

He watches the cannon fall and closes his eyes.

Shen makes a decision not to leave what he knows, what he feels certain of, because while his other qualities create the conflict in the story- his hunger for power and interest in dominating others- what turns his personal story into an ultimately futile tragedy is that Shen doesn’t believe in the ability to heal. This makes his downfall rather brutal, in that the technique Po defeats him with is a weaponized form of basically Tai Chi, that in the setting, is explicitly taught to him as a meditation and he uses said meditative form specifically in his coping scene.

Shen’s mentor, the Soothsayer, who by the time of the movie has turned on a very different path from him, ultimately says “I wish you happiness,” to which Shen grimly retorts “happiness must be taken.”

Now, PK as I understand him is a lot less superficially snappy as Shen; he maintains an air of chilling calm in most situations. But a lot of those major beats are there- superficially, a warlord whose ruthlessness and ingenuity allowed him to dominate much more powerful foes, and someone who prefers to present themselves with a Perfect Image- and, that deeper thread.

Because the biggest thing that haunts me about PK’s canon fate... is that he is undisturbed.

His perch on the throne is precarious. Ghost is able to throw him off of it with about as much difficulty as it takes to break a geo deposit. His robes are rotted in such a way that suggests they simply deteriorated standing still. His guards slump at their posts, dead, only closest to him- every other ‘defensive layer’ in the castle is untouched.

Nowhere in the palace is there any insinuation of the Radiance’s presence. There is precious little of the Void.

PK is, we know, an intelligent and dangerous individual. He had to have been, to have won the initial war for Hallownest and driven Radiance as far back as he did. In a setting where the majority of people of Noted Authority seem like they could kick your ass pretty well, it’s hard to imagine the god-king forged out of a giant monster wasn’t a pretty tough customer at least in one regard or another.

And, yet, PK is dead. And he is dead in such a way that if there was any fight in the throne room, we’d see the aftereffects of it.

There is a deliberate, ringing sense of anticlimax to the throne room. This is a space you would anticipate a boss fight, a final moment, ANYTHING. Anything, to match up to the hype we have felt throughout the entire game, of finally facing The Pale King.

And then, even tipping his body off the throne barely makes a sound. He doesn’t shatter thunderously or let out a great burst of light and presence like the Dreamers do. He just takes three hits and falls to the floor with a sound that is not even particularly loud, or jarring, and a motion that lacks a sense of weight or finality.

And it... in a terrible way, makes perfect sense. If you don’t believe in the ability to heal, you sincerely think that being at your worst means you’ll be at your worst forever, or only get worse. What incentive is there to possibly try and get yourself out of a pit?

“I don’t care what scars do.”

“But you should, Shen.”

And this isn’t delivered like a snappy moment of triumph from Po, as much as, nearly concerned.

But ultimately, Shen makes a cowardly decision.

He doesn’t want to find out what scars do.

#Hollow Knight #Pale King #Kung Fu Panda #Lord Shen #readmore #suicide mention tw

87 notes · View notes

dayables · 3 years

Note

I'm glad you liked my yttd ramble the other day hahsjshsj. And I have some more stuff to say because this game lives rent free in my head.

I love the writing and storytelling from kimi ga shine, I really do but I think the way the later half of the second main game is structured, from a narrative point of view is kinda misleading. The whole focus of the last bit, with the Kanna vs Shin argument is on Kanna. Shin feels unsure and ungrounded so he resorts to interrupting her and abandons his calculated and calm facade he had until that point, which makes sense in a character point of view because it shows how he reacts when he is truly cornered. But it doesn't make sense considering afterwards the game clearly wants you to vote him. Honestly after playing the logic route the first time, the emotion route feels like a fever dream. It's all unicorns and rainbows and is such a contrast to the other option I wonder why we even had a choice in the first place. Unless further down the line there is some type of plot twist where our hope and optimism in the emotion route is punished I don't see why the game pushes so hard to make us feel guilty of killing Kanna in the Shin route. Honestly, after playing a chapter 3 full of internal conflict from Sara and other characters reacting to the traumatic nature of their situation, they seem so naive in the emotion route, idk if I'm explaining myself well enough. Like we fall into this weird bit where they will "for sure make it out alive" and Sara is determined to "bring everyone to safety", everything is "totally gonna be okay" and it just seems so... off? It makes no sense for them to think that right now, especially not after a failed escape attempt and seeing the way the floormasters and dolls can interfere with the game like Gashu did. (And knowing that even if they can take off their collars they will just be killed for desobying the rules from Shin's death)

On Kanna's death "cut scene" Sara literally thinks, and I quote "We need Sou to escape... / I... chose logic... / The worst possible choice..." what???? literally how? The whole point of this choice is that no matter which one it will always be a morally grey answer, there isn't a right or wrong here because either way you're killing one of your allies. And going back to the way the second main game is structured: the focus is all on Kanna so having Shin's death be the final arch for his character seems a bit out of touch. If we wanted that to be his big finale, if he's the one we're supposed to listen to, then why isn't he the one speaking for the majority of the time? The end of the discussion part is all about Kanna, Kanna's sacrifice, her whole speech about Kai's values and hope to defy the game and escape as a group, Kanna's wish to save Sou and Sara like she couldn't save her sister. Then why is listening the Kanna the worst choice? I think they were going for a "double final arch" per say, so you could in fact choose any of the two endings and still have a satisfactory conclusion but why did they have to push so hard afterwards for Shin's death to be "the right choice?". If that's just Sara's guilt speaking why doesn't she feel the same way (or at least the tiniest bit remorseful) for Shin?

And I know it's another level to the whole logic vs emotion, you either get a more satisfying narrative or a happier one but I don't think it had to be that different you know? That and the way the two deaths are handled makes it clear (even if unintentionally) that Nankidai gives priority to the emotion route. And when you can see that to this degree it makes me wonder why is this even a choice in the first place?

In conclusion, I seriously hope the emotion vs logic route isn't the thing that leads the player to a good vs bad ending. Or at least that it isn't as predictable as it seems right now, because if we are doomed right from the moment we chose to save Shin... idk it seems like a cheaper alternative to just have "save the child" as the objectively better ending. And again, I would personally make it so that the whole hero trope, happy-go-lucky nature of the characters in the emotion route would crumble somewhere during the final chapter, they can still have a happy ending but at least make it so that there are some consequences for choosing Kanna over Shin, literally anything at all. Them being suddenly almost unfazed by the deaths of their past allies is so out there it seems completely out of character. Like you said, Sara's stress doesn't come only from Joe's death and Shin's existence, it comes from leading a group of people to almost certain death, why is that no longer a problem? And if the difference between saving Kanna or Shin is more world building and knowledge later on then that needs to be a bigger difference between the routes because right now it's just Kanna good, Shin bad.

Anyways this turned out super long again but I just have. a lot of thoughts. I really do like Nankidai's storytelling, he does a very good job at it but when it comes to this? I think he made some questionable choices, I hope it becomes less linear in the future.

:DDD

Once again, this is my thoughts explained so well, so I’m going to expand with my thoughts :)

First off, the game clearly wants you to vote him. is very true. Shin’s death is nearly too perfect. Happy ending, a character arc wrapped up in a bow, constant praise for killing Shin and an even happier next part. A fever dream is the perfect way to describe the emotional route after playing logic first. Everything about it, seems so off.

What tipped me off, what really tipped me off, was Kanna’s reaction to We hin’s death. Especially when compared to Shin’s. Whether or not it’s healthy is debatable but it is at the very least co-dependant. Kanna was manipulated by Shin. Whether or not she cared for him the same way he cared for her* is up for debate.

*(we don’t have nearly enough context for a clear cut on her motives for her actions in part 2. Shin seems to be more concerned about saving Kanna specifically, while Kanna wants to save everyone including Shin. This can be linked back to her feelings of worthless. Yes, Shin is special to her, she mentions him and Sara. However, if they had not gotten close, Kanna likely would have made the same choice)

Kanna, almost didn’t seem to care that he died, that everyone else might die (from her own perception of what could happen). For someone who is wrecked by grief and death so much, she’s, just as happy as everyone else? It’s so out of character that she isn’t a teeny bit distressed.

See, the oh so happy attitude, part can be played off to Sara no longer being swallowed by self-loathing over Joe. She believes she can do it, and that will drastically affect how the part plays out. Yes, that is not where all her issues stem from. But, even that small weight could make all the difference in those moments. I’m okay with that because Sara is allowed to be unreliable. It’s the others reactions. Everyone is just like her. It’s so surreal how everyone seems have gotten their own Joe AI through someone's death?

The narrative actively pushes that choosing Kanna is the better thing to do logically, while killing Shin is foolish and a choice made from emotions. We are pushed to kill Kanna then rewarded when we save her. It’s all so jumbled. It’s all so wrong. Now from a story telling perspective, it is okay to reward us for listening to our hearts. My issue with the emotional route isn’t that it’s one big happy family, (because how much of that is Sara believing that?). It’s the concept it’s pushed to be better, happier and the ending you want.

As you said: Why is killing Shin a choice if it’s so bad?

Is it to give the player an illusion of choice?

It makes the emotion route so fever dreamish after finishing the emotion route. So jumbled. It makes it less satisfying but I believe it is for a reason.

Right now everything is too linear. We either have the most important player in this game dead, or against us. It’s not like the Reko/Alice choice. This was so major, so why is it so linear?

It’s unnerving, how happy the game is when the exact same thing is happening but bleaker when you save Shin.

It’s terrifying. Everything is the exact same, but it’s not. And it’s something i’ve seen no one else who played emotion first get. Because I don’t know if you can exactly grasp how unnerving their happiness is (I obviously didn’t play emotion first but I’ve never seen anyone point it out despite most of tumblr playing emotion first) at first.

I am terrified of the emotional route for their being nothing bad. Because they’re are bad things and good things. in the logic route.

Why is one route so happy and the other realistic? Why Nankadai? Why?

I have belief that this is purposeful. I believe a game that creates dread so easily (look at how we’re all terrified of main games, Midori, part 3b) and horror (just look at the deaths) is not creating the terror unintentionally. Especially when it’s so easy to miss.

The fact it can be taken down to Kanna good, Shin bad, is a build-up for a crash. This game built up Kai surviving longer than the first game so well and look at how that went. It takes one slip and the happiness of emotion crashes down like glass. The logic route does not need to end happier, but all Shin needs is a push and the bleakness of Logic cannot hold up.

These routes are resting on a needle. It takes so many mistakes (more than can be made in a single route) to unintentionally put them there.

There is a lot of room for this to go wrong. You’re right, it’s bad writing right now for the routes that are so linear to be so different. It’s worrying, jumbled and does not make sense. I agree with you! The choices here are questionable. ^^, I just believe these are purposeful, especially when we don’t know what’s coming next

3 notes · View notes

phukao · 4 years

Text

roasting my faves part two: oxygen

This criticism is less serious than my MGYG post, but still.

All thoughts are under a cut because these are negative thoughts and not everyone wants to see negativity on their feed/in the tags even if it is only joking/out of fondness. Also, please remember I love these shows a lot. That does not put them above criticism.

Again, hit up my Ask or reply to chat about this!

Firstly, I am not going to discuss the heterosexual nonsense that is Petch and Khim. I am officially skipping their parts unless I see Khem because Fourwheels is my baby carboy. Also, Perth deserves better. The end.

Let’s be real, SoloGui move at the speed of light. Now I would like to preface this by saying that I have not read the Oxygen novel. I do not find SoloGui compelling enough to want to but this means all of my opinions are based on series only. I actually love how quickly they caught feels rather than the usual period of denial/conflict we see in other stories, but I agree with the people who joke about how WEIRD it is that Gui agrees to move in before they’re even in a relationship. It’s probably so they can pack the next episodes full of drama, but it’s still hilarious.

Where is the FRIENDSHIP? A major strength of the author’s work is that Solo, Jedi and Kao have a really awesome friendship and support each other numerous times during both Oxygen and Nitrogen. The series is almost completely glossing over them. We saw a SMIDGEON of them in episode five, but they are supposed to be constant. For example, Solo and Jedi are supposed to rescue Kao when he’s being beaten up, not Phu. Phu is supposed to be at work, as he says. How the fuck did he end up at the school? The world may never know. The “Stay away from my bunny!” line was supposed to be said during the scene where Phu’s classmates are about to fight with Kao. The writers probably thought it’d be better for Phu to be the rescuer, I guess? I didn’t mind the change but I miss the friendship!! I feel like the series is more focused on the two pairings than anything around them.

Combining two different timelines is HARD and WEIRD. PhuKao is not supposed to happen at the same time as SoloGui. During Oxygen, Phu is in the UK for the year off he took after the fighting incident. So when Kao starts pursuing Phu, SoloGui are already together. I think this is why we see the friendships take a backseat. It’s hard to tell both stories without messing with the timeline and affecting events. But this also makes it hard to predict what exactly they will be able to cover this season. I predict everything from book one of Nitrogen with happen to some extent, and then season two, which actor Phu confirmed will be called Nitrogen, will be book two of Nitrogen. It’s just weird because we’ve had a beach trip already, but there’s ANOTHER faculty trip to Khao Yai in Nitrogen that I think will happen because Nut mentioned a waterfall? Again, not a complaint so much as a perpetual state of confusion.

The experienced actors outshine the newbies. Of the main four, Boss is the only one who’s acted before. Yes, I am biased, but I do think his experience is clear compared to the others. I find Petch and Nut’s delivery rather monotone, and though I will cheer my baby Phu on forever, I think he struggles playing character Phu. A couple specific examples of this point are below. The actor who plays Petch also comes off more naturally than the others, which makes sense because he’s actually acted before. I definitely think we’ll see them grow over time, but at the moment I find Boss is the only one whose acting I can say I love.

THE REST OF THIS IS JUST ME DYING INSIDE FROM LAUGHTER, PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.

Forget the husky comparison, Solo is a cat meme, I will hear no argument. As I mentioned above, some of the line delivery is killing me. I have decided that Solo is very much the cat from this meme:

Need proof?

THE FIGHTS? NO THANK YOU. I am not capping anything because I can’t take it. Can we just skip the fights if we aren’t going to bother we good choreo? Both fights have taken me out of the story. I get that this is a romance and plenty of other series have had cringe fight scenes, but I really can’t take it anymore.

If we are going to include a hurt/comfort scene, let’s have it make sense. I was so excited for the PhuKao post-fight scene and I honestly can’t watch it. I tried rewatching episode six and found most of it really cringe which I have NOT felt about the rest of the series. Here’s a list of what’s wrong with that scene:

Phu has a bed. One of the ~Roger Film Excusive Extra Scenes Which I Can’t Figure Out How to Fucking Pay For~ is Phu and Kao sleeping in bed later. JUST DO THE WHOLE SCENE IN THE BEDROOM SO IT MAKES SENSE.

Kao was supposed to be REALLY FUCKING BEAT UP and all they did was give him a little lip cut and a cheek bruise which somehow didn’t get worse the next day. There was no reason he even needed to take his shirt off and get wiped down. His shirt wasn’t even dirty.

CHANGE HIS SHIRT BUT NOT HIS PANTS?

HE DIDN’T EVEN TAKE OFF HIS DAMN SHOES?

WHY DOES PHU JUST PULL UP A DAMN CHAIR AND SIT AND STARE AT KAO AWKWARDLY? JUST HAVE THEM SIT ON THE DAMN BED LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE.

Phu is supposed to be a workaholic. Now, granted, they have made some attempts to show this. Phu comes home with lots of papers, Phu mentions he works so hard he gets sick, he kind of? brings up he has a separate work phone which makes him sometimes forget his personal phone. But in the story one way you can see how much Phu is starting to care for Kao is that, despite all of his work, he lets Kao stay with him. PHU WORKS FULL TIME FOR A COMPANY IN A DIFFERENT DAMN COUNTRY WHILE ALSO FINISHING HIS LAST SEMESTER OF UNI HOW ARE WE NOT SHOWING THIS. Phu sitting up in bed working on a computer with Kao sleeping next to him is how the post-fight scene is SUPPOSED to end, and it becomes something they do often. I feel like their relationship loses some of its weight when you don’t see how much Phu already has on his plate when he decides to let Kao into his life.

THE STANCE, THE FUCKING STANCE. Like Cat Meme Solo, this is just an observation. Someone needs to help baby Phu learn how to stand. Just... stand. I mean..... look at this:

I’ve literally started shouting STANCE!!!! at my screen now. You can see, though, how much more natural Boss is by comparison.

Am I still allowed to say I love this series? BUT I DO! I can’t wait for Saturday so we get more to swoon over or laugh at, depending on how you feel!

#oxygen the series

7 notes · View notes

laulink · 4 years

Text

I love everything about Radiant, but one of my favourite aspects of it ? The characters, their relationships and how said relationships help them grow. It is nothing like what your usually see in shonen battle mangas.

- Seth and Alma’s relationship is a complex one with various layers. Yes, Alma often looks and sounds annoyed at Seth, but Seth never doubts or questions Alma’s affection for him and she encourages him in all his endeavours, only reigning him back when he’s about to do something clearly stupid that will end in disaster. If there’s a chance he’ll make mistakes with little long term consequences that will teach him something, Alma will let him go. Strong mothers in most mangas I read are usually one of two types : not caring for their child or caring but doing things all wrong, which usually results in conflict in the relationship and the child having to either forgive or forget what they went through in order to move forward, the weight of their blood family lifted from their shoulders. In Radiant’s case, Alma isn’t perfect, but she has enough insight to learn how to best support Seth and give him freedom while staying more or less close to him as a security net. Things were obviously harder when Seth was little, but the most recent memories we got between the two show how close and caring they’ve always been toward each other and it’s super cute !

- Seth and Doc are an interesting duo because, by all means, Doc is old enough to be Seth’s father, but Seth sees him as an equal and a friend, like Melie and Ocoho, and Doc, despite hating the danger Seth pulls him into, grows to be fond of the boy and caring for him as a friend as well. And we can see in later chapters, more specifically the latest volume, that Seth’s friendship with Doc has influenced our little old man a lot and taught him that there’s something more important than self-preservation : protecting your friends. I like that Doc’s cowardice, while being treated as a flaw, isn’t one that Doc is trying to completely overwrite to be more like Seth. Doc is still himself : he’s still cautious, still fears for his life, but he learns to work around that fear by making strategies to defeat an enemy without having to fight and by using his run away skills efficiently to save and protect his friends. Seth inspired him by his bravery and sense of sacrifice, but he is not a goal Doc wants to reach or someone he sees as better than him ; he just gave Doc the push he needed to realise his own shortcomings and decide to work around them to protect what is truly most important to him : his friends.

(look at this baby about to make the first brave thing in his life !)

- Seth and Melie look like your typical “main character and attractive girl following him around”, but the way they are portrayed when interacting together is really cool to me because, for once, there’s never a single hint of attraction or romantic interest between the two of them. They are their own person, are friends without ever thinking of or seeing the other any other way, are treated as equals and treat each other as such, etc. The way they handle conflict is also great I think because in a lot of mangas, when one friend goes alone on a quest or distance themselves from others, the other friends (and usually the main character and/or the love interest most of all) will follow right behind to try to bring them back because the power of friendship can save anything ! ... But in the Caislean Merlin arc, after Seth left, Melie didn’t follow him. Instead, she was cold to him, refused his apology, didn’t want to talk to him. The author didn’t make the friends follow the loner to teach him the power of friendship, he made the loner realise how abandonment hurts your friends. Valente also didn’t make Seth promise he’d never leave again (something that’s admittedly a bit cheesy) because Seth still strongly believes that it’s better for him to leave than potentially kill his friends or get them in trouble. Instead, Seth has worked on a way to control the power and not hurt his friends and his make-up with Melie is basically just them realising they are stronger together and working from that. They didn’t apologise for how they acted or promise to change, they still have their own beliefs and are their own person, but they found a way to work with those differences. It’s a nice change of pace from other works.

(look at this. It would have been so easy to add some romantic element to it, but the author didn’t. No overdone romance, their friendship and respect for each other is all they need and want, which lets them grow as characters for themselves, dealing with their own stuff instead of having them grow for each other. Love it !)

- Seth and Ocoho are in a similar situation in terms of relationship that, in other works, could be seen as romantic, but there’s not a single hint of it in Radiant. I can think of quite a number of works where whenever a girl joins the party, especially after seeing her love interest’s powers and strong moral values, she doesn’t take long to develop some feelings for the guy, be it the main character or another guy hanging around. Even when it doesn’t go like this, you’ll have a guy in the party developing feelings for her. But there’s none of that in Radiant. Even better, despite being the most recent addition to the team, Ocoho is already very at ease with the other three, even Doc, and has taken charge of things more than once, not just because she’s now a Princess, but because she’s a born leader and knows how to efficiently use her friends’ abilities. Her position in the team and her relationship to Seth are not tropes, they directly stem from who she is as a person and I think that’s something that’s very lacking in a lot of other works.

(Name ONE other manga where you can have a male and female characters being so close, in that sort of position, without it feeling even the tiniest bit romantic. Name ONE.)

Seriously, finally a manga where there’s not a hint of romance between any of the main characters. And you know what else it lacks ? A RIVAL.

Fairy Tail, Naruto, My Hero Academia, all of them have the main character be someone’s rival or choose himself a rival he needs to overcome to reach his goal but not Radiant. Seth has a goal to achieve and doesn’t care if someone’s stronger than him, just like no one cares about competing with him, they just want to take him down. No senseless rivalry and no “I need to get stronger than him to punch some sense into his face”, it’s all about having better control over Fantasia, over the dark force in Seth, finding information about Radiant, convincing other people to do the right thing (notice how the convincing never comes from a punch in the face. Even with Diabal, fighting put up a wall between them, only when they stopped fighting and started talking did Seth manage to convince him to help)... The characters are already strong, they just need to control that power better and use it accordingly. It’s no wonder that Seth’s main power-ups so far have been “learn how to control your Fantasia”, "learn how to control that dark power inside you”, “learn how to be in tune with the world around you” and “learn how to connect with others and communicate with them despite the distance”.

I need more works where the characters are so well thought-out and personalised without the usual and tiring rival and romance tropes added. Please.

#my post #wow that became a lot longer than intended #... It's just a really good manga ok ?#give it a chance #radiant #seth #melie #ocoho #doc #alma

63 notes · View notes

blackcatmanor · 4 years

Text

RWBY V7 Ch11 Photo review (spoilers)

A really great episode showing a lot of good strides made by the crew as storytellers! Pictures below

Story stuff that was good:

Fights- Both action and the fighting in Ironwood’s office was well done. So much, in fact they deserve their own mini-breakdowns:

Combat fights:

Ironwood vs Watts- I appreciated the apparent disparity between their combat styles. Ironwood was clearly a stronger, more aggressive, and overall better fighter, but Watts used his smarts and ability to manipulate the anti-gravity fields to help gain an advantage (I called that- yay!). I am really glad how this fight played out because it shows that the crew really thought about it and didn’t just make it a generic match between two opponents. The setting and dynamics of the anti-gravity field were also great and I think this will end up being one of the top fights of all time in RWBY. 10/10

I hated watching the end, though but for the right reasons: Watching Ironwood peel his skin off to get free from the shield was excruciating and awful to watch, which really matches the tone of the scene. Watts just sort of standing there flabbergasted was even kind of appropriate, because you could tell he expected to trap Ironwood and did not expect the lengths Ironwood would go to in order to free himself. Some of the dialogue was a bit hammy, such as “You don’t want even MORE parts of your body made of metal,” and Ironwoods “I will sacrifice WHATEVER IT TAKES to stop her” but it wasn’t too distracting.

Tyrian vs the Qrow, Clover, and Robyn (aka the throuple).

This fight was very well choreographed but it was overall a bit of a mixed bag, mostly good but unexpected when considering what was teased in the opening cinematic. The opening cinematic promised a lot more interaction of Qrow and Robyn, with Robyn engaging Tyrian hand-to-hand, but Robyn literally stayed on the sidelines taking pot-shots and just got the final takedown by chance. If Tyrian had just dodged that last arrow, she wouldn’t have had the takedown and cool one-liner moment at all. Clover similarly was somewhat sidelined but he definitely had way more involvement in the fight than Robyn.

However, despite my criticism that Robyn and Clover were somewhat sidelined, I actually liked how Qrow was the main force behind the fight, because it gave him a chance to get revenge for his poisoning in Vol. 4, and he landed a lot of really good punches and kicks. It’s a nice callback even though the fight was slightly muddled by the different tone previewed by the opening cinematic, which promised a lot more cooperation rather than a Qrow vs Tyrian re-match.

Fights (verbal)

The fight in Ironwood’s office was great. Some of the dialogue was a bit wonky at times but overall it had the perfect impact: I felt re-invigorated in rooting for our girls and I wanted to punch the Ace Ops in the face! The clash of ideals was awesome and shows a great juxtaposition between our idealistic huntresses who never back down from a fight even if they may not win and the Military/Strategic and Tactical style from Atlas, with Huntsmen and Huntresses willing to sacrifice lives for a greater victory (losing the battle to win the war).

I think they did a good job of showing subtle differences in Ace Ops, as Vine and Harriet seem more in-line with Ironwood, Marrow seemed super conflicted (bordering on miserable), and Elm was somewhat in the middle. However, as they are the military, all of them fell in line at the end, showing a possible struggle between RWBY and the Ace Ops.

The conflict between ideologies carried into the Throuple as well, and it was a great show vs tell moment where Qrow and Robyn are allied in the idealistic paradigm, with Clover literally on the opposite side.

Basically:

Ruby is Captain America, Yang is the Hulk, Weiss is Ironman, Blake is Spiderman.

Cliffhangers

The cliffhanger in this volume is much more natural than volumes 5 and 6. In the previous two volumes, the last few episodes simply chopped up existing fights and stretched them out, pausing the combat to just resume a week later. This episodes’ cliffhanger was spectacularly done. The two main combat fights of the chapter are finished, but there is still plenty of conflict set up for later, and the ideological battles seem like they will escalate naturally in the next part. I expect the next part to have a Cinder vs Winter fight, and Neo vs Oscar/his team, but I am honestly more excited to see how the ideological conflicts escalate, with RWBY/Qrow/Robyn conflicting with the Ace Ops.

Interestingly, this style of cliffhanger also fits well with the Military style of combat, which ties into Atlas as our setting: The battles of this chapter are over and won, but it’s clear a greater war is still raging, and the next batch of battles are just around the corner.

Story stuff that was bad not as well-executed:

Overall I have a few minor complaints- one larger than the other

Oscar’s shopping spree: Oscar has a serious addiction to take out that many robots just to disappear and go shopping again. In all seriousness though, it would have been nice to see Oscar fooled and taken, since it was teased that Neo would use her semblance to disguise as Ruby to get to him. We already knew explicitly that Neo was going after him, so the “reveal” of him being gone at the end wasn’t a reason to skip the cool part of Neo tricking him and overwhelming all the robot guards. The amount of stuff that happens with Oscar off-screen is maddening.

Ironwood’s plan has a pretty big hole in it: This one is my larger complaint. Ironwood wants to take Atlas into the sky, but everyone knows Cinder is there on campus, and Ironwood even explicitly says “For all we know Hazel’s here too.” So, why would you try to get yourself high away from Salem’s forces when possibly two of the strongest foes are hanging out right there? (ok from what we’ve seen Cinder is not the strongest, but in-canon with the Maiden powers she is supposed to be one of the strongest).

I suppose Ironwood wants to get them high enough before reinforcements can arrive, because it’s better to deal with a few saboteurs in your city than wait for Salem to show up, but the fact that they don’t address this is kind of odd. You have an unknown number of people who are actively trying to interfere with your plans and you know they are in your school- so how are you going to mitigate that threat?

Character stuff that was good

Ironwood- This volume has done a much better job of establishing a morally gray character, whereas the Writers totally face-planted with Ozpin in the past. You feel for Ironwood because he has good intentions, but he has been driven nearly-mad with PTSD, which has given him a hair-trigger and causes him to make irrational and objectively bad decisions. I think the story can go further with his character, with his development arc being his struggle to reign-in his fear and paranoia and redeem himself. Ironwood’s V/A is also one of the strongest, so I think he can handle the possible complexity of the character’s arc going forward.

Ruby- Ruby was really good this episode. The episode had her trying to be a confident leader by telling Salem she will fail, but her speech wasn’t cheesy or ham-fisted. It was also great to see her confidence immediately crumble seconds later with the reveal that Salem was behind Summer’s death. Ruby’s anguish was a highlight of the episode, as it was well animated and pretty well acted (the animation carried most of the weight. Lindsay’s performance was pretty good, but I think it was hard for her to play Ruby’s kid-like voice in anguish. This is another reason why I hope the Ruby kid-voice thing becomes less prevalent in the future).

I was also super stoked on getting a better idea of what happened to Summer. This scene was great and I hope it will have a huge impact on Ruby going forward as she learns to cope with this information and overcome her grief.

Character stuff that was bad:

Watts, we hardly knew ye- RIP To Watts. It was nice to hear Watt’s somewhat deranged motivations, but I’m bummed he’s gone. I think he was an interesting character and it would have been great to delve into his madness more- maybe a conversation with Pietro once they knew Watts was still alive. Pietro could have been a great vessel to explain Watts’ past to the group, and establish his villainy even more. Overall, it’s unfortunate the interesting villains keep getting killed off or sidelined (Hazel where art thou?). That being said I don’t think Tyrian is done yet. I think that Salem coming means she will spring Tyrian out of custody once again, as a poetic reference to his backstory we got earlier in the chapter.

Overall 9/10. The episode was really good with a few minor issues. The fights between people are becoming a lot more thoughtful again, with efforts to showcase individual strengths and weaknesses. Ironwood’s extreme measures are a good way to paint someone with good intentions making the worst decisions, something they failed to do in the past. The cliffhangers are much more thought-out and organic rather than just slicing big fights into chunks.

Is her model’s giant head pasted onto a smoke body? >,< I kind of lol’d when Salem first appeared because of her floaty head but it becomes less distracting as her dialogue goes on.

#rwby spoilers #rwby vol7 #ruby rose #james ironwood #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #oscar pine #rwby salem #arthur watts #tyrian callows #clover ebi #ace ops #this episode was great #rwby #marrow amin #harriet bree

24 notes · View notes

orionsangel86 · 6 years

Text

Episode Review - 14x01 - Want, Everything, Sunshine, and Beyonce

Hellatus is over everyone! Put away the crack memes and shit posts and bring out your meta caps because we are back in business! Oh boy are we back in business!

Right before @tinkdw came over to watch the premier with me, we discussed our expectations and both agreed that whilst our expectations were pretty much in our boots, we would consider the episode a success if it was even remotely meta. We wanted to be able to see clearly constructed themes both as a continuation of what had come previously and as a foundation for a strong season going forward. We were both hoping that at least from a meta perspective, that the episode would leave us happy and thirsting for more.

Dabb did not disappoint us.

It was such a strong episode meta-wise. There is a lot to pick apart that is ripe for discussion and I seriously hope that Dabb will keep a close eye on the other writers to ensure that these themes continue throughout the season. Plot-wise it was a weaker episode, but then again Dabb has always focused on the character emotional arcs more than the actual plot points in recent years, and I am grateful for that. The second half of season 13 felt stagnant to me simply because there was little to no character development and from a meta perspective it was also extremely weak. I went into this hellatus feeling negative about the show simply because I hadn’t actually enjoyed an episode properly since 13x12. However, the season 14 opener was most definitely enough to quench my thirst and get me excited for the coming season. Fingers crossed it goes from strength to strength.

Long review under the cut

Michael!Dean - What Do You Want

Straight in after the introductory Nyoooom of Baby (driven by a grim looking Sam and a pretty impressive swap from title music to diegetic music), we are introduced to the angel of the hour.

8 Things about Michael:

1. I am not sure how I feel about Jensen’s performance right now. He is playing Michael extremely straight and whilst I can see how this cold, calm portrayal can come across quite terrifying, it’s not a carry over from Christian Key’s performance. I don’t want to be too critical, because we only saw him in a few scenes so far, but when I compare it to how Tahmoh portrayed Gadreel alongside Jared, and the way Misha pretty much nailed Mark P’s performance (and greatly improved it), I guess I’m still waiting for Jensen to WOW me in the role. The one thing I will say is that he did terrify me and managed to come across creepy when acting alongside his own WIFE. So he's doing something right I'll give him that. When Jensen wants to have chemistry with someone, he does.

2. I like the fact that Michael’s goal right now seems to be to educate himself on our world. He’s not running around causing terror and mayhem like Lucifer, he’s learning how best to go about “improving” the world. He also appears to be inspiring people with his words: “Holy men, leaders, killers” and we have seen the effect he had already on Kip the Demon - who was inspired to run for King of Hell until Sam Fucking Winchester ruined that plan. I wonder if we will be seeing the fallout of Michael’s specific type of inspiration throughout the season.

3. “What do you want?” Obviously this question is an important one. It was repeated like six times throughout the episode, though never to the main characters. It looks like this is going to be the theme of the season and as far as TFW’s personal journey’s go, this is now the question we are asking them and the question being explored. What does Sam want? Or Cas? Or Dean? This has an endgame flavour to it that has me extremely excited.

4.Michael’s own personal want of “A better world” is a follow on in a way of many of the villains that have come before him. For seasons now we have been exploring this concept of improving the world for the better. We had it first in season 8 when the brothers had the goal to do the trials to make a world without demons, in season 11 Amara’s vision was to destroy so she could reshape the world to her own blueprints that she saw as better than Chuck’s. Dabb era has been even more obvious, first with the goal of the British Men of Letters being “a world without monsters” which was shared by Mary wanting a better world for her boys, and then in season 13 Jack’s arrival floated the idea of “paradise world” to Castiel. I don’t think Michael is gonna fair any better than any of these others, and wonder exactly where all these escalated versions of “a better world” will end up. It's all exploring the notion that nothing is black and white, but in fact a grey area.

5. I already discussed Michael and Sister Jo here. Cas mirrors... Cas mirrors everywhere... I also side eye the "pretty things" line because it reaks of Dean and his whole sublimation thing. In that sense it seems Dabb is making Jo a mirror for both our boys. I'll be keeping a close eye on her from now on.

6. ”Why would he say yes to you?” “Love”. OH DEAN. Just, Dean wasn’t in this episode but my god did we feel his presence RIGHT HERE. And to think there are people out there that still think this is a macho mans show about macho manly men. I’ve never known another character with more heart than Dean Winchester. This show is about LOVE above all things. I wish people would stop trying to deny that fact.

7. Radioactive Pigeon:

Look I’m not trying to be critical okay it’s very pretty and this is the FIRST time they have attempted showing an angels true form and that is amazeballs and all, but still. He has little pigeon wings and a bent halo. Pfft.

8. The Purity of Vampires. I actually love this. I think it comes across a bit silly on the surface, but the whole idea of monsters being pure is a massive callback to purgatory and season 8 and anything that calls back to season 8 makes me happy.

Sam Fucking Winchester

Excuse me while I scream HELL YES. I have been waiting for Sam to take on the leadership role for AGES. Honestly this was always my dream endgame for Sam. To organise and lead the hunting community. There’s your better world guys. It was something that the writers flirted with in late season 12, but at the time Sam only took on the position with Dean’s approval and encouragement to go ahead. Sam has always stepped back and let Dean take the lead throughout the show as the big brother and parental figure. I think this was always a role he was destined to fill and something that has been building in the subtext for a long time (much the same way as the toxic codependency has been shown to hold Sam back.)

What’s of interest here is what will happen when Dean comes back and is fighting fit. Will Sam relinquish his leadership position to Dean? Or fight for it? Will this cause conflict? I read this amazing meta on this which turned into an epic discussion and I highly recommend reading it. My HEART.

Sam’s state in the episode is one of constant motion. He cannot stop for a second, always being pulled from one thing to another. He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t get to change out of his hideous blue and orange shirt (which is officially now my favourite Sam shirt), he doesn’t even get to finish his soup. I know Jared said that Sam had a ‘grief beard’ but Tink and I are adamant that the beard is simply due to the fact that Sam doesn’t get the time to shave. He has taken so much weight on his shoulders and in amongst that has to deal with horribly traumatic things such as face the face of his abuser and actually be a healer to him. Sam doesn't get a moment to himself and spends all his time concerned about others. It's very noble of him, but he's going through the motions.

Sam is the contrast here to both Cas and Dean, who are physically and mentally stuck in their awful situations. Sam is also stuck in a way, stuck with no time to actually contemplate the situation he has got himself in. Stuck without a moment to breath, or to grieve his brother. Stuck holding the weight of the world on his shoulders as every other single character looks to him for support, help and guidance. Sam is the motherfucking Beyonce of the episode, that is for certain.

He is also calling the shots on hell now...

(x)

... I find it amusing that back in the early days Sam's destiny was to be the boy king of hell, and it's almost like he's fulfilled that destiny, not by being king, but by being gatekeeper and in a position powerful enough to scare the demons into submission. This is probably what Crowley intended. Sam probably owns the moon now.

About Nick - Well, first of all, I TOLD YOU SO. I did say that I could tell the guy from the back of his head and I was damn right about that. Learn to trust me guys I am occasionally good at this stuff. Okay, now that that is out of my system, let’s talk about this. Round of applause for Jared in this scene. Because he takes Sam’s hell trauma extremely seriously and made sure that every nuance, every twitch, was picked up by those camera’s. I loved that. Potentially Nick could be a good way to help Sam heal in the coming season, as Sam has finally freed himself from Lucifer’s grasp. Is it fair that he should have to look after the face that tormented him for years? No. Not at all, but could it prove somewhat cathartic in the end? Maybe.

At the end of the day, Dabb must have considered Nick to have a purpose beyond “I want to give Bucklemming something to play with so they don’t fuck up my actual story” and “We need to keep stroking Mark P’s ego for some stupid reason”. Because otherwise I am really worried about how limited his power must be, and refuse to entertain the thought that he was overthrown by Singer and his horrid wife. I can see the potential in Nick being a dark mirror for Dean following his freedom from Michael’s possession. How Nick deals with the post possession trauma could be an indicator to how Dean is really coping even when he buries it.

At the same time, both Sam and Cas have been possessed by Lucifer, and therefore have all the experience between them to help Dean’s recovery without needing Nick to get involved. So I dunno guys. I’m trying to see the positive in something I otherwise despise.

Anyway I thought Jared was fucking superb in that scene and pretty much the whole episode and want to give him a round of applause because it is rare that he truly gets to shine on his own without Jensen by his side.

Now all we need is for Sam to get some sleep. How he is still functioning by the episodes end I will never understand.

Castiel Everything Winchester

(x)

Look at him. So defiant and done. You can almost imagine that fire behind him burning in his eyes as well. He’s such a dom.

Several things about Cas in 14x01:

1. He is 100% done with every demon on the planet and doesn’t give a fuck. Honestly though. The way he says “Oh God” when Kip walks in. The way he rolls his eyes. I wonder if he had Dean’s voice in his head saying “You know who wears sunglasses indoors Cas? Douchebags.”

2. He is making desperate choices in order to save Dean, which is certainly typical for him. The fact that he spends the entire episode stuck in a chair is a fantastic metaphor for his whole feelings on the situation, a metaphor then reinforced through a mirror at the end when he speaks with Jack (we never get anything explicit with Cas do we?). The fact that Cas can’t save Dean right now is weighing on him, but he is determined to do whatever it takes. The conversation he has with Sam at the end is a brilliantly short but important moment:

“I should never have gone to those demons”

“Cas no I don’t blame you. honestly I wish I had thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean I’d work with.. I’d do anything.”

The takeaway here is that actions speak louder than words. Sam HAS been distracted being leader of the hunters and having to face his own nightmares thanks to Nick, but Cas has literally been doing anything he can with a soul focus on saving Dean.

It's an intimate moment between them. In a bunker now bustling with life and movement this is the only time in the episode that it really seems still. The library has always been Sam's private space, where he feels most at home - like the kitchen is for Dean. But here he and Cas sit as equals together weighed down by their shared grief. It's the soft moments like this that I love the most about this show. They are both willing to do anything they can, but the difference is that whilst Sam is being pulled in lots of different directions, Cas’s sole focus is Dean. Note that heaven wasn’t mentioned once. It hasn’t even crossed his mind.

3. Everyone Knows, but Cas doesn’t give a shit.

“How is it you lost Dean, I thought you guys were joined at the... well you know, everything.”

It is an extremely explicit nod to Destiel. It is also the first time a line like this has made it into an episode since season 7 I think. The difference now being that we’ve had years of steady subtext and narrative building on the love story, hence the line has a different weight to those previously. It was very carefully written, careful not to imply that Cas was joined to BOTH Winchesters as the line was specifically about Dean. It was written by the showrunner, who would have known the significance of such a line, it encourages the view that all of heaven and hell have made their own assumptions about Dean and Cas’s relationship, and in case anyone wants to argue that the missing word was “hip” like the saying goes, the gesture and nod by Kip goes to prove otherwise. In other words, there is no platonic interpretation. Which is delightful.

Cas’s completely stoic silence is even more delightful. God I love him.

4. He can’t see demons true faces anymore. Like everyone else, Cas not realising those people were demons really threw me for a moment. Tink and I both agreed that the scene should have had Kip snap his fingers and have the demons smoke in and possess all those people instead - still catching Cas off guard but not making it seem like he is just super unobservant. I personally feel like this was just an error Dabb made. I have no desire to try to meta explain that one and I accept it as the error it is. I do like that it took an entire room of demons and 4 sets of enochian hand cuffs to overpower him though...The fact that he had to sit there and watch his family be beaten and almost killed around him whilst he was helpless again, is an excellent parallel to Dean’s current situation and what he will most likely have to face in the coming episodes, and also a reflection of Cas’s mental state (as mentioned above), Coming out of this episode it seems like this will be another season where Cas and Dean mirror each other and walk similar paths in terms of growth and development - if only those paths would meet with a kiss!

5. He’s the bait. Tink found this line hilarious straight away, where as I had to blink and ask why because I obviously took offence. But once we started discussing it and realised the quadruple entendre it is I found myself applauding Dabb on his genius. Cas IS used as bait, by the SPN PR people. Because he’s Mister Popularity. He’s also the character who causes the most conflict in fandom, with those who love him so much they are bitter and mean and those who simply hate him often complaining about the exact same things but in different ways - leaving the regular fans stuck in the middle (Tink explained this to me with delight - how both anti’s and bitter!cas girls alike will latch onto that line for completely different reasons). He’s also potentially a queerbait depending on how you look at it. But anyway. Cas’s epic eye rolls in this episode were almost enough to rival Sam’s bitchfaces. I am impressed.

6. He takes no pleasure for himself. I am forever going to obsess over Cas’s relationship with human food and drink:

“Coffee has no effect on me.”

“Me either, not anymore. But its like with saltwater taffee or infants, you know I just like the taste”

Although we can argue his refusal is out of stubbornness to not give the demon the satisfaction, even when accepting drinks from the Winchesters he doesn’t usually bother, or will stick with water. Even if he is seen ordering coffee it is usually only to avoid looking suspicious in diners. We know Cas enjoys some food and drink, but Cas rarely allows himself the pleasure. Even in 13x14 when Dean offered him a beer, it remained unopened. A symbolic metaphor for Cas refraining from indulging in other pleasures? This is why I am so so desperate for Michael to ask Cas what it is HE wants. Lucifer stated that Cas was a “pleasureless dullard” and I want to see this theme continue. Cas uses his grace as an excuse not to indulge and I consider this linked to meta about the “sacred oath” of heaven and Cas being duty bound and numbed by his grace. But these are all elements for a bigger meta at another time and the moment in this episode is just another snippet of that.

7. He looks awesome framed in fire. I just really liked the set up of Motown Meats as the new hang out for hell, with its fire pit and orange glowy bar. There is a lot of general symbolism there but I enjoyed the flames framed behind Cas in every shot he was in. Because even though he was mostly stuck in this episode, that fire raging inside him didn’t burn out once. He WILL save Dean. Just as he promised to Jack at the end, even if he get’s battered, beaten and bruised, his determined stubborness to save his husband will win eventually. Cas is no longer the broken thing of seasons 11/12. He well and truly rose like a phoenix in season 13 and now it’s showing through, as it’s a mission fueled by his own passion and love.

Jack Winchester (AKA my nougat son)

Poor Jack, like his father he hasn't had it easy in 14x01. He is struggling with his humanity now, his usefulness, in such a clear mirror to Cas that it kinda hits you in the face. He is desperately seeking guidance from those around him. First in the form of AU Bobby who has clearly bonded with Jack following their experiences together in apocalypse world.

It is great to finally see the Bunker gym! A room we all have ingrained in our fandom hive mind thanks to a 100 destiel fanfics. We all know what's gone on in there. >.>

Throughout the episode, Jack seeks out guidance first with Bobby, which goes badly, then with Sam, which is interrupted, and finally with Cas, which is when he finally gets told what he needs to hear. I am really happy that whilst Jack has so many father figures now, it is Cas who truly holds that torch and is able at least somewhat give Jack what he needs near the episodes end. If only he had damn well given his son a hug!

I loved the conversation so much that I transcripted it here:

JACK: I’m fine.

CAS: You did well

JACK: All I did was get punched. In the face

CAS: To be fair we all got punched in the face

JACK: That’s not - Before when I had my powers I could have done something

CAS: Jack you don’t have your powers, and your grace should regenerate in time, but until then..

JACK: I’m useless. I cant kill demons I cant find Dean and Michael is in our world and I cant stop him.

I can’t do anything. I don’t have anything.

CAS: Oh Jack. That’s just not true. You’ve got me. You have all of us. You have your family.

And we are going to find dean and we are going to beat Michael and we are going to do it together. Because that’s what we do.

This whole conversation was PERFECT. Every line chosen so specifically and weighted with meaning. Urgh Dabb I fucking love you for this.

Jack starts with “I’m fine” which Cas knows by now means you are not fine but he has also learned to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t mean “leave me alone” as Jack was crying out for guidance and support here.

The mirrored “got punched in the face” calls to attention the fact that Jack is a reflection of Cas himself here and everything he has felt both now and in the past.

Jack’s complaint about being useless without his powers is a fear Cas has carried with him since his fall in season 9. It’s something that still weighs on him and whilst Cas now knows his place by the Winchester’s side, knows that they are a family and that he is not just a hammer, I think that fear of losing his power and being cast out is still well and truly weighing him down. It will be cathartic for Cas to see the family accept Jack as one of their own even if he is “useless” and human.

Cas’s “That’s just not true” when Jack says he is useless - his voice breaks and you KNOW Cas has had those exact same thoughts.

“you’ve got me, you’ve got all of us. You have your family” compared to You’re my family, I love you, I love all of you” compared to “We're family. We need you. I need you.” The difference is there is no ambiguity in the word ME. Dabb turned it around, but had Cas clear it up. It’s the same line every time. The only difference is the placement of each individual statement. If this isn’t yet another clear example that the “I love you” was specifically directed at Dean I don’t know what is. THIS IS A CONTINUING PATTERN PEOPLE.

The determined promise to save Dean at the end, right after he specifies the singular and plural because obviously Dean was on Cas’s mind at that point - Mister I Don’t Get Words Wrong over here knows exactly what he means.

I love this whole conversation, but as I said above, it drums home the fact that whilst the Winchesters and others may be sources of guidance and support for Jack, he only has one true father, and I think Dabb wanted to make that clear in this episode. Remember:

Fingers crossed for more father/son bonding between these two in future episodes.

Mary and Bobby

(x)

Baring in mind I was expecting 1 small Destiel moment in the episode in the form of a line from a demon. You have NO IDEA how happy this moment between Mary and Bobby made me. If anyone saw that inktober pic I drew for premier day of me and Tink gasping in shock at the screen, it was for THIS moment. My face lit up in delight.

I said at the start of this long review that Dabb picked his moments well. With every second counting from a meta perspective. This was one of those.

Tell me, anyone, when watching that moment, would you deny that there was something between Bobby and Mary? As homework I'd like you all to play this scene to your heteronormative friends and family, or even be brave and ask a bibro. Would ANYONE deny that it was intended to be romantic?! I highly doubt it.

And yet there was nothing textually explicitly romantic about it. There was NOTHING in this scene that hasn’t been filmed a thousand times between Dean and Cas. The fact that Dabb chose to write this extremely small seemingly unimportant moment, in the kitchen, and for Bobby to use THOSE EXACT WORDS. As I have mentioned several times already, Dabb doesn’t fuck around when using well known moments from past canon in order to reinforce the importance of a thing. Dabb LOVES parallels. He wrote Bloodlines after all. He also knows the fandom hive mind and the things we pick up on and latch on to. This was a very smart calculated decision to include this in the episode and I am LIVING that he did it. GIVE ME ALL THE BOBBY x MARY/ DESTIEL PARALLELS.

...

I actually really liked Mary in this episode. There is so much discourse in fandom about her and whilst I find Sam Smith pretty cold and wooden, I have never understood the utter hatred of Mary as a character. Hence why I praise Dabb’s genius at this moment:

(x)

Because this line literally sums up her entire arc since her return. Tink and I paused the episode and basically flailed at each other because this is EXACTLY what Mary has been trying to do. She was in HEAVEN, with her BABIES and suddenly she is back on earth with two grown men who are strangers to her, telling her they are hunters and have suffered a life of HORRORS without her. So she ran. Hell, I would have ran too. She shoved herself into hunting because all she could think about was trying to make things GOOD for her boys. Trying to FIX her mistakes the only way she knew how: by HUNTING. She was drowning in the bad. So she found focus in trying to make things good. Like in this episode, she reassures Sam so much that he snaps at her. He doesn’t want to be reassured, and that’s fine. But my god this felt like the first time Mary has truly had a voice. I really weren’t kidding when I said that Dabb made sure every word counted.

OTHER THINGS

I am unsure how I feel about the title card:

Tink called it. I think it looks a bit odd, a bit too clean. I like the title cards to be grim and dark. Black angel wings though! And hey, at least the fiery halos in the title cards are perfectly spherical... so we know they CAN do it right...

*side eyes SFX team*

Kip as a wannabe Crowley was kinda fun for a one off episode but I am glad that they are stressing now that wannabe Crowley’s get killed. The last one we had was Bart in 13x08 who was very much the same flirtatious queer coded demon. I’m fed up with the villainous queer coding by now. It’s been done too often. Give me another Demon like Alastair or Ramiel or none at all.

“Asmodeus Kentucky Fried” DID ANYONE LIKE ASMODEUS OTHER THAN BUCKLEMMING? This made me LOL.

The fight scene at the end was really weird and overly long. I dunno why they decided on so many random slow mo and wooosh shots. the whole Mary slow mo throwing the blade at Sam was cringy. I wish they’d stop being experimental and stick with what they know! You think they’d learn after 13x23!

Maggie was a bit annoying. Why bring her along if she can’t fight? Also the random cuts to her reaction after Jack was angsty had me reeling. simply because in het couples that’s a brewing romance and that is a massive NOPE from me. I like her as an individual character, I DO NOT like her as a love interest to a 1 year old, and I certainly wouldn’t like some pining story for her where she falls for an unavailable guy. It’s not fair on her character. The one thing I did like was the “pointy end” comment. It reminded me of Charlie for some reason.

The throw away line about Ketch being in London looking for the golden egg Lucifer/president extractor. Nice closing of a plot hole there Dabb.

I liked the Jesus weapon expert hunter dude. He seemed quirky. Dead man’s blood bullets are an excellent idea.

DETROIT. Why does everything always happen in Detroit? I swear one day they are gonna reveal that Detroit is like a central universal power hub where the walls between the dimensions are thinnest or something. I could go on about this but I am sure a better meta writer elsewhere already has and this is waaay too long so I’m leaving this here.

If you got this far. Kudos and thank you for sticking around to read my thoughts. Feel free to ask me anything about any of the above. If I could hand out cookies through the internet I totally would right now.

Basically I enjoyed the episode. I have since re-watched it a dozen times and it is really the meta of it all that makes me love it. The story IS weak, and there ARE moments that are a bit odd, or infuriating depending on the way you look at it, but the heart of the episode was classic Dabb. All character driven and full of meaning. I am extremely well fed after this meta feast, perhaps even enough to get me through the horror show that will be Bucklemming’s 14x02.

So long as Cas continues to look like a sexy beast I’m sure I’ll get through it.

I’ll just leave this here:

God he’s such a dom. :P

161 notes · View notes

theonceoverthinker · 5 years

Text

OUAT 4X09 - Fall

Today, our heroes attempt to stop Ingrid’s curse, but find themselves a bit...FALL-ty at it!

...It was a stretch, but it worked!!!!

Anyways, there’s a review under the cut!

Main Takeaways

Past

There’s really not a lot to say about the past segment this time. It’s really good -- filled to the brim with Kristoff, Anna, Blackbeard, and Hans snarking at each other every step of the way and smart and pragmatic moves by all of the characters -- but it’s very much an exposition dump in that same vein. Seeing as it wasn’t especially long and because it was entertaining and cohesive, I don’t really have a problem with that.

Present

Believe it or not, once again, Rumple is the stand-out character in this episode. He gets so many character-rich moments and pieces of dialogue here. From ”You’re usually so confrontational” “I prefer reasonable” showing Rumple’s twisted take on how he views himself and his deals to “If I have to choose between everyone else and me, “me” wins everytime” showing his sense of priorities, he gets just really good lines.

Regina’s speech in the library is fucking perfect and my favorite scene of the episode. For as much as “the third way” that constantly gets spouted out in later seasons is nice to think about, in a situation like this, as leaders, they have to make the difficult choices and because of the ticking clock of the situation, a third way isn’t viable. Someone has to suffer and it’s up to them to choose who. And I LOVE how most everyone is in agreement with this sentiment and that the only person who disagrees, Elsa, disagrees only for personal reasons. This is an outstanding conflict that is perfectly framed. We get what amounts to a real life trolley problem and these conflicts tend to be so good because they let you know who these characters are. Regina looks at this problem like a leader and convinces everyone else to look at it in the same way very easily. And even though a third way is eventually found, the consequences of this decision still take place and are only not further dwelled on because of the he same ticking clock propelling the story forward.

And in that same vein, I like how when Elsa does screw them over, Emma does pragmatically change gears and goes to help Elsa, seeing as how it’s their only chance at this point. It’s also not only pragmatic, but shows how Emma’s growing more hopeful and how she cares for the friend that literally just saved Emma from herself and her fear.

Finally, I like how most everyone works together in this episode. Like in the first half of Season 2 and in moments like the present segment of “That Still Small Voice,” you really get a sense of how Storybrooke is a community. Everyone’s playing a part in keeping the town safe, the fairies converted Granny’s into a lab and are aided by Belle, Leroy’s giving mining advice, Regina and Henry are working with Robin and the Merry Men, Emma and Elsa are searching for Anna, etc. Episodes and moments like this make Storybrooke feel like more than just a town and expose the real magic beyond the Chernabogs, wands, and daggers.

Stream of Consciousness

-”You’re usually so confrontational.” “I prefer reasonable.” This is just Rumple’s entire character in less than ten words! XD

-”You and your ‘sisters’ Elsa and Emma doing who knows what.” What DOES Ingrid hope to do with them?! Are they just gonna chase kites and play with magic all day? ...Damn, Ingrid is so fucking disturbed. Anyone ever see the episode “Baby Doll” from Batman: The Animated Series? Because is so much like the villain from that!

-I like the clever plan of our heroes trying something as pragmatic as just going over the wall.. It’s a solution that Ingrid might not have necessarily thought of due to her powers as well as her disdain for those without them.

-I also like the decision for Henry to go with Regina. The scene shows that Emma and Regina are practicing co-parenting and are still sorting out the kinks, and ultimately, Regina makes a good point: If Emma’s part of Ingrid’s plan and she only wants them alive, then Henry could easily be taken as a short-term hostage if he’s traveling with the people Ingrid’s focused the most on. Meanwhile, being with Regina is just a matter of time management in order to make sure he’s safe.

-In accordance with what I said in “Family Business,” for the gravitas of the secret that Belle his about Anna, Elsa really has no reaction to it. I’m stuck between being find that we don’t have to deal with another conflict and just kind of annoyed because a bulk of that episode’s weight is gone because of the importance of Belle’s resolve to hide that secret.

-Kristoff, I guess you could say that Anna’s...GRASPING AT STRAWS!! XD

-”And I SANG with you.” I love the implication that at the very least, that song was diegetic!

-Oh my Lanta! Kristoff used his ice pick right on that guy’s butt cheek! XD 10/10, best episode ever!!!

-”If I have to choose between everyone else and me, “me” wins everytime.” And here’s Rumple’s character in fifteen words or less! XD

-How did WILL get put in charge of the camp? He’s been a Merry Man again (Although, was he recruited again) for all of a day, maybe, and Robin now has him as a second-in-command? I get that they wanted to use the character, but that was a weird choice. Why not direct Little John to clear the camp and have Will sass off about something? It would make more character sense and remind Robin that he has a best friend who didn’t betray him and only show up in his life again by pure happenstance.

-”The only people who believe in me in this town are Henry and you.” ...You and Snow just had the biggest heart-to-heart! The hell?

-Interesting thing! The True Love spell that helped Snow and David find each other is a potion and it’s very likely that a similar potion was what enchanted what becomes Henry and Ella’s locket.

-”Pirates are better than wizards.” ...I feel like this is the OUAT equivalent of the more mainstream Pirates vs. Ninjas debate! Who’s better? YOU decide!

-BLACKBEARD!!!

-I love that bit of banter Snow and Regina have at the library. “A good mayor checks that these things are kept up to code.” “Yeah, well, if the mayor only has to worry about one villain and it’s herself, that frees up a lot of time for infrastructure.” Not only is it hilarious, but we get to see that backbone and wit of Snow’s on full display!

-I love Belle’s outfit at the diner! The vest and the button-down are cute together!

-...You know, dramatic irony be damned, I would LOVE to see an episode where Blue and Rumple are forced to work together and are on somewhat equal footing-knowledge wise. Their bickering, bantering, and exploration of the differences between light and dark magic would be just a cool thing to witness! I feel like it could go to better lengths to better contextualize these characters’ moralities and issues with each other and while they might not resolve anything, per se, they could have an interesting impact on the story and/or plot in some way.

-CHECK THE BAG! XD But in all seriousness, I do think the storytelling does a good job of illustrating why she doesn’t look in the bag. Emotionally, Elsa is being told she can’t go after Anna and that stings. Showing distrust would just crush Elsa.

-”I should know better than to trust blondes by now.” ...Was that line really necessary? Not only does it call back to a shitty episode, BUT hello! Tinker Bell?”

-”This trunk will make sure you dies without FINterference!” XD ...The arc of puns is BEST ARC!

-”She’s so talky.” You’re just realizing this now?

-I really do feel for Killian. Just look at his face. He was hoping that Rumple wouldn’t be able to get Belle out of there and he wouldn’t have to trap the fairies.

-Ooh! I LOVE how the camera got that mirror shot of Killian walking. Creepy and unsettling as hell!

-I also love the crazy magic stuff Blue’s doing!

-Honestly, the hat scene is shot soooo well. It’s like a horror movie in the way that the shots frame Blue as she hides along the counters of Granny’s.

-And then at the end of it, Killian’s regret and self-hatred is really thick too.

-”I may be immune to the spell, but you can still hurt me.” ...What the hell would you expect Belle to do to you?! XD Throw books at you? Claw at you with her nails? Granted, she’s a scholar so maybe she can fuck with your potions and do something screwy to you! XD

-”I don’t have to choose, thank you. I can and will have both.” I like this line because it heavily implies that while Rumple does love Belle, when pushed into a corner of choosing between the two, he will choose power.

-”Enjoy your last day in this or any land.” Yeahh…..about that…. XD

-”We won’t be able to hurt anyone from in there.” ...Those bars are not narrow enough to ensure that. Like, you and Snow can punch each other pretty easily from there! XD

-Emma saying goodbye to everyone just fucking wrecked me. “Elsa, can you hold my brother.” Just the way that line is said means so much to me! I don’t know what it is, but there’s so much love in the word “brother” and I just tear up when I hear it.

-”It’s [Your magic] what’s going to allow you to take on the Snow Queen and win.” ...I really wish it was that way, at least in some part (But we’ll address that next time!!!)

-I love the pan over of all the characters the moment before the spell hits. That is just gorgeously done and the music is so freakin’ epic. And then the quiet shakiness once the spell hits. Holy crap, is that unsettling!

Favorite Dynamic

Rumple and Killian. Killian and Rumple get a few scenes scattered throughout the episode and all of them work on two levels. First, I LOVE Rumple being a Magnificent Bastard. Robert Carlyle’s charisma for his villainy is so en pointe as it walks the line between dastardliness and likability. Second, it works for Killian as you really do feel sorry for his situation. While Killian definitely did dig his own grave, knowing the lengths that he went to in order to try and right his wrong, it feels undeserved and is appropriately framed so. Killian clearly hates everything Rumple’s making him do as well as his scheme as a whole and with his limited freedom, he lets Rumple know it, giving the sense that Jane really understood his character as she wrote him this time around, something that tends to be a little hit-or-miss for some writers. Hell, he even tries to convince help Rumple understand that his scheme isn’t worth risking Belle for and that he can still walk out of here with her love! Additionally, as I said before, Rumple gets a lot of standout moments in this episode and practically all of them are done with Killian.

Writer

Jane Espenson is our sole writer today and she does a fantastic job here! There’s a lot of plot progression in this episode, but it’s thankfully balanced by really good character work. Regina, Rumple, Elsa, Anna, and Emma are definitely among the highlights, but Snow, Killian, Belle, and Blue really rock in their supporting roles. Not only that, but this episode’s sense of time allows for a continuous feeling of urgency that kept the pace of the episode exciting!

Rating

Golden Apple. This was a fun episode to watch. It’s funny, exciting, actually makes some nuanced points about the difficulties of leadership, and really shows the bulk of the town coming together to stop this curse. Things feel very pragmatic in this episode and everyone has a better idea of the people who they’re dealing with. It makes an episode that’s so focused about plot and exposition exciting to watch, even as it has a pretty foregone conclusion.

Dark Side of the Ship

I don’t like using this segment of my reviews, so much so that the last time I did use it was the seventh episode of the series and here we are somewhere sixty-ish episodes later. And this one isn’t even a ship I think is bad, per se, but just one I find doesn’t live up to its potential and I wanted to explain myself as to why I thought so. So, it gets a little anti-OQ here just as a warning if you want to avoid it. I certainly wouldn’t blame you in the slightest, especially if you’re a fan of it.

Not gonna lie, for all the gravitas put on Regina and Robin’s scenes together in both the forest and the mayor’s office, I really wish they actually had a scene together in the next episode. Not only would it have been payoff for that scene, but a fair amount of this half season as well as the last season and their relationship has been a matter of Regina saying “you don’t know the bad things I’m capable of” and Robin saying that’s not the case while only hearing of what she’s done. I’m not saying that Robin can’t love her and choose to be with her despite knowing about these things (I’d be a major hypocrite if I did considering my own ship preferences). But I also can’t help but feel like this is where the real intrigue of their relationship comes from -- they both love each other despite being through things the other couldn’t possibly understand or easily relate to. And I wouldn’t say this if this wasn’t basically the setup for the entire season with a past consequence of someone who justifiably hasn’t forgiven Regina and matters a lot to Robin showing up and again, given the two conversations in this episode filled with importance over Robin possibly seeing Regina as her worst self. The fact that nothing is ever done with that concept in a meaningful way is why I don’t love this ship. If Outlaw Queen was just a fluff ship in the background like it basically was in Season 3, I wouldn’t be complaining, but I’m giving this ship’s development attention because the show is giving it so much attention.

-----

Woohoo!!! Another great episode!!!! Thank you for reading as well as to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales and the awesome @daensarah! Also, let me know if you want to be tagged in these reviews! See you next time!!!

Season 4 Total (79/230)

Writer Scores: Adam and Eddy: (16/60) Jane Espenson: (20/40) David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz: (30/50) Andrew Chambliss: (14/50) Dana Horgan: (6/30) Kalinda Vazquez: (14/40) Scott Nimerfro: (6/30)

*Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 4x09 #but some people put it as ouat 4x10 #...this is gonna get confusing #eh whatever #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat #anti-oq #anti oq #anti outlaw queen

18 notes · View notes

jant19294 · 5 years

Text

Media's Current Zombie Craze

I feel like I can't be the only one who is getting tired of cliche zombie show attributes.

First, zombie culture has been suffocating our survival horror genre for long enough that most people would behave way differently.

I feel like it should start how it usually does, but have the initial outbreaks be contained, cities evacuated and all. Humans win. Then people start naturally dying and coming back even harder, since everyone thinks it's over. Have that sweep through too fast for our governments to firebomb their cities. Ironically the majority of the "safe places" being whispered about at first will be the cities that were successfully evacuated then contained during the first outbreak.

I want there to be a neckbeard who has been training his whole life and perfecting his zompocalypse survival guide. Katanas and throwables are his preferred weapons, and although his practice does show in performance, he's a bit too high and mighty about it. No one takes him seriously, not because he is wrong, but because his personality is too stereotypical.

Only time they should run into someone trying to save the zombies is in Amish country where internets are few and far between, and society hasn't corrupted everyone with its "technology"

I would like to see someone with some actual immunity for once too. None of this Murphy shit, maybe some support character who isn't 100% essential for the team's survival, but has their place, hopefully has been favorited by the audience by the time it's revealed. When they get to that "killing off favorite characters" phase have them be bit (after at least one other fan fav has died) but not turn. Days of waiting for the fever to set in and nothing. Zombies ignore them now because whatever "virus" is in their system. And idk if you guys noticed, but said immune character is they/them. Maybe by this time no survivors have any clue what even would go into manufacturing a vaccine.

Some anatomical features should be fixed too. Like if a tendon is cut, that muscle is useless. No cripples getting up after zombified. If most of your calf was eaten, you're not chasing anyone down.

Main story setting should be in one of our extreme prepper zones. Somewhere Midwest maybe so you get the Redneck's "government takeover" prep, Native's (long overdue) assimilate and conquer, and the northern "it's too cold to let any outside get in" mindset. Or some east-rocky desert. Missile test sites and fallout shelters built all over during the red scare. Or literally anywhere in the PNW, they've been prepared to fall into the ocean for centuries, and have been harboring every other type of prepper in the US since 9/11. (Too soon?)

Let's see a corrupt cop that everyone puts on the spot with all the group's moral decisions. He has no clue how to do anything, but it all ends up working out. Have the show full of flashbacks to his shady dealings, and he spends every waking moment working towards redemption. Every now and then have them run into someone he has a past with. Let's not put him in a main leadership role though, don't want another Rick Grimes on our hands.

All of our current "knowledge" of zombie survival should be present too. Kill brain kills zombie. Sound attracts more. Take no chances with dead loved ones. Bites make infections, they kill, etc. Anyone who has seen any of the media should have some idea as to what's what. Maybe even give a shout out to them randomly. Like "I saw this in s(x) of The Walking Dead" or something to explain how they know something.

Let's make zombie energy levels relative to feeding. No running top speed when it has been a week since eating. Possibly some jogging if you ate earlier today. Maybe they're at maximum energy they become docile. When they're starving they're sluggish but can't die from starvation, maybe start eating themselves or each other.

In most media the virus only affects humans. Some silly crap exists like zombear, and some more respectable infections exist (dogs in RE), but I prefer the general humans only. With that in mind, threat levels should be scaled. Maybe our heroes stumble upon a bunch of zombies snapping away but unable to move due to lack of muscle from the pack of wolves that has been eating them. Shiva shouldn't've been taken down by zambies. That being said, domestic animals would be easier for the zombie to eat.

I also get fed up with all the gas hunting that goes on. Someone find a tesla with solar capabilities. Larger transport would need gas, but ideally they get posted up somewhere quick, so only need vehicles for scavanging and scouting.

Also get tired of the tiny group vs small group themes. Main characters should slowly rebuild a city. None of the Savior's or other cultesque communities though. Attempt at a smaller representation of how the American government was originally designed to function. This all being in the "city" out in the apocalypse it's a bit more feudal. There will always be a group popping up with some Mad Max ideas on how society should function, but that conflict seems to drive stories, and therefore ratings.

A more accurate representation of the US education system would be nice too. Schools don't teach wilderness survival or farming. Gotta go to votech to learn how to set up a solar power system, and to learn all the repairs that will be needed after. Things like Home Ec were electives so most won't know how to purify their water or cook their own meals.

They rarely address our reliance on technology. Once all the general tech is down, most of our society will be boned. No further explanation required here...

And I think the main character, should be quirky as fuck. Suicidal because of shit life before, but can't seem to die. Keeps getting saved at the last second and stays unsuspected. When they attempt themselves it goes wrong, and if overseen it's intent is mistaken. Essential characters don't quite see eye to eye with them, but never really care enough about a given situation to dispute. Makes friends fairly easy with anyone else, but that could be some prelude to who is getting killed off next, just piling more weight on the depression scale.

I want to see someone whose native language is not English, and no one can translate. Keep the dialogue relevant and toss some subtitle under them, but no one understands other than the viewer.

Idk. Sure there was more than this floating around my head, but that's too far to scroll on mobile to see what I'm missing. DM me for discussion if you'd like, I'm usually happy to chat.

#zombie #zombie apocalypse #zombie survival #stoner rants

11 notes · View notes

yours-notyours · 3 years

Text

Communicator

THE VALUE OF SPEAKING UP

Speaking up is an important part of communication but it can get awkward sometimes. It may be to clarify an opinion or to ask that an uncertain one be clarified. Or to correct a misrepresentation or set a boundary. Or even to admit what we don’t know but are expected to or to identify what we expect but aren’t receiving--Depending on who we’re communicating with, speaking up can potentially be uncomfortable. But however nerve wracking as it may be, it’s a habit worth practicing. The result of course, may vary, but one welcomed side effect is people have access to what’s on your mind, and with that, are given an opportunity to better understand and engage with you as a person.

None of us are, as of yet, telepaths. But that fact works to undermine the magic of language. Through it, we can share thoughts from mind to mind, we just have to bottle them up in containers called symbols which we speak, write, or sign to one another. The thoughts themselves are also the bottled up approximation of feelings. Which are hard to fully define when there are no words to encapsulate them, as is frustratingly the case when a person speaks more than one language and tries to translate certain words that have no exact equivalent in the other language. Yet somehow, because we’ve isolated noises, scribbles, scratches and gestures to hold collective meaning, we can exchange a nuanced variety of otherwise inexpressible feelings.

For its connective capacity and reach, language was like the internet before the internet. And we would be part-time suckers to not revel in this marvelous invention and utilize it to speak up whenever necessary. But sometimes other factors come into play.

The main one, I think, is fear.

We fear the result. Speaking up, after all, usually happens when something is off. A conflict between our inner selves and an external situation. A crooked line that needs to be set straight but to do so may require a confrontation. A moment where pleasantness is interrupted to point out a mistake or admit one; to feel judged, or humiliated, vulnerable and subject to objections or defensive, and maybe even, unpredictable behavior. And while true, speaking up can just as likely result in acknowledgement, praise, understanding, or gratitude--Our past experiences may make some of us more apprehensive about the uncertainty of how our thoughts may be received.

I wish neither to say trauma is easy to overcome nor that context shouldn’t be taken into account when speaking up. But in some instances trauma isn’t the issue and the context actually supports, rather than discourages, the clarification. For instance, if someone mispronounces your name (or calls you by a different one altogether) you would want to correct them. If you don’t, they would literally be perceiving you as someone you are not. The confusion might vary in seriousness depending on who the person is and where the mistake occurs. At work for instance, you can imagine how this mistake might branch off into a series of further awkward moments like many a sitcom might explore. Is it worth remaining silent to simply spare the initial person the smaller discomfort of being corrected?

There might be some disagreement as to which discomfort is actually the smaller offense to endure. One may also question whether insisting others suffer because one is suffering is fair. And with good reason, such logic quacks too close to eye-for-an-eye. So then 1: Let’s just say both offenses are equal. And 2: Let’s make a distinction between someone hurting you (making you suffer) and someone allowing you to suffer alone. The example of the wrong name, is the latter case in so much as it’s like someone letting you carry a heavy weight for them, up a flight of steps--And despite they’re physically capable of helping, instead proceed empty handed. If you’re struggling with the weight, you can either pretend you’re not (and suffer alone) or ask for help. Speaking up to correct someone about your name is to share the discomfort which has been created and to follow it up by attempting to collaborate in “carrying” the resolution together.

This is why speaking up can seem intimidating because it might require more effort, more steps, more communication. It’s the inevitability of holding a personal truth, in this example the correct name, and having to show up for this truth, if it is in fact true to you. The interaction, the clarifying conversation is an important one to have. The energy you bring into it, as well as how yours is received. It may have been harder than letting things be, but that’s what makes it special and worth pursuing, especially if the easier option involves you suffering alone and possibly harboring resentment toward both the person and yourself.

It can feel very lonely to be judged, ridiculed or dismissed, but it’s also quite lonely to hold your tongue and not express yourself.

To self-quarantine in the subjective spotlight of your mind, from which you swoon the absent audience of an empty theatre with your rapturous soliloquy! The endless observations and definitions pouring like champagne on Bastille Day. The secret performance. Measuring every action, theorizing every future. And starring a self-projection which you aim for; an ideal version of who you wish to be. The ‘higher self’ dressed in all your potential. But this ideal is no more than a shadow, without any real reach or grip of its own on the physical world, other than what we act out with our physical bodies.

As a species we evolved in groups, isolation often meant death. Fear of banishment is still real, and we often use prisons and public shaming as modern effective versions of exile. Retirement homes and asylums also espouse that same energy of places to rid societies of those individuals deemed no longer able to function within it. To be trapped in your head, is itself a type of banishment; a mental prison for which the practice of expressing yourself can continually unlock doors and sneak you past the guards. Hell, it’ll get the guards on your side! But it isn’t enough to do it when it’s easy, it’s actually almost more important to communicate and express yourself when it’s challenging.

This may be to the general point that there’s value in facing adversity. That testing one’s convictions actually strengthens them. It isn’t the only way but there’s something to this idea that standing up against oppositional energy chisels out the confidence to express yourself via words and actions (since communicating requires physical representations of psychic thought). The better you become at this, the more conversations you’re able to have without fear--Ideally counterbalancing the freedom to express yourself with the capacity to also listen, and hold space for those who wish to communicate with you, and speak their truth up.

Despite being good at listening to others speak up, I tend to struggle with doing it myself. Communication will eventually bump into the requirement to speak truthfully. It can be time consuming to give an honest response in every exchange, followed up by a conversation to iron out the kinks. Reserving candor for closer relationships might be more useful than walking around as if you’ve been injected with truth serum. But for me, the habit of omission can trickle into those closer relations at the growing expense of continually misrepresenting myself. And with that misrepresentation, come interactions that keep the doors to the theatre shut, and the mad thespian, shouting monologues from under an iron mask. The thing is, only I can remove the face cage, and open those doors. Only I can raise the volume.

I’ve learned no one knows what you want. It’s not as obvious as you think. Not everyone knows how to treat you or how to satisfy you. You have to meet them halfway. By remaining consistent between internal and external expression of yourself, you’ll manifest who you are and how you wish to participate with the world--And in turn, how the world can make use of you, which I believe it should. The ways in which this self is challenged when forced to speak up, exercises integrity and commitment. Of course, this too can become misguided and abused to speak up in bad faith. That is, not to stand up or clarify yourself but to posture your ego and self-importance. This pantomime tends to drown out who you are on the inside, replacing their heartfelt adlib with an outer persona who’s acting out from fear of not being respected or admired.

What’s dangerous about this, is we tend to believe what we say if we say it often enough, again, a credit to the magic of language.

Words are vessels for thoughts and feelings. They were created by us to transfer ideas back and forth. Culture preserves language to free every new generation from having to create their own symbols from scratch. A tricky endeavor because without language you would have to first realize that such a thing as language is possible.

Communication brings us closer, allowing us to express our emotions and avoid unnecessary anxieties by talking and explaining things out. Our ancestors did this, and brought about a social dimension that often required us to love and teach one another. Children have an obvious curiosity to catch up and figure the world out, their young minds woken by the fires of consciousness. At first they focus on the world at large and how it functions but eventually, having that, on more solid footing, they become young adults and set their sights on themselves and others. We all desire connection and want to understand the needs of those we connect with,...The only catch is they have to speak up...And so do we.

#yoursnotyours #azraelencarnacion

0 notes

divinationcentral · 3 years

Text

General Reading.

Main Energy: Seven of Swords & The Four of Cups

Someone is being deceptive towards you. You should remain firm, and reinforce your boundaries.

You’ve got a lot going on, and right now you don’t need to be inviting any negative energies into your space. Protect it at all costs. You’ve worked way too hard to let someone just waltz in and cause any damage, or sabotage your work or your career with their careless thievery.

If you have ideas: patents/copyrights/trademark. Please. It is your creativity.

If this is about your home - get insurance. If you’re buying something? Protect it with a warranty. Anything you can imagine right now that you’re investing your time and money into requires protection.

If you are a witch (like me), ward negativity, banish evil/bad/unwanted energies, and protect your space by setting a boundary from outside forces (to keep them from coming in and out as they please); no more negativity...

Spread:

King of Swords

Page of Wands

Knight of Swords

Then:

Think quickly, and act quickly. Don’t just rush in for answers, take your time to devise a strategy, and when you speak to this individual - make your intentions very clear.

Leave them no room for errors. They will see themselves out once they realize that you can’t be made a fool of any longer. They’ll have taken a little piece of what was meant for you - but it’s not in its entirety. The rest belongs to you, always.

This person may try to contact you again, but you have made your boundary. They can no longer approach you the way they used to, because you are no longer who you used to be, that is why it is wise that you be discerning: if this individual has hurt you in the past, stole from you, lied, made you feel belittled or unworthy? What’s to stop them from doing that again? Have they really changed? And are you really going to let them into your house, which has been/become guarded /because of them/ (your house can represent anything, metaphorically speaking).

The answer is no. They are not allowed on your premises, and it is something they need to learn to respect moving forward.

The Seven of Swords energy is sneaky. People in this energy wear disguises: “A friendly neighbor,” your “ex coworker,” ANYTHING...even more dangerously “A peer mentor,” a “good, helpful colleague,” a “damsel in distress,” it knows no end. Some people will act like your friends for extended periods of time, just to get at something they wished for from the very beginning.

This is where things become more tricky. But again - people can only get so far without your permission. Today, exercise your agency. If someone is treating you in a way you don’t like, guess what? You have all the authority to say: No, you are not welcome in my energy (not anymore).

And you deserve your self-respect. You are important to somebody, even if that person is only you. You are still another human being.

As stated: be wise and protect what is yours now that you’re moving forward.

Additional:

It’s wise to note that you are distracted by some sorrow or grief right now. Protect yourself right now, please (especially).

It really is time to ward yourself from negativity, so that people don’t use this time to take advantage of the way you’re feeling.

Energy vampires are crazy...they only really know how to feed off of somebody. You can’t expect them to be anything else, if that’s how they’ve chosen to be. And guess what? When you cut them off from their food supply - they’ll just move onto the next.

They may claim “well, you aren’t important.” That’s far from the truth.

Don’t let someone continue to leech off of you by letting them state that you are unworthy of their feeding.

That is some backwards logic, if I’ve ever heard of it.

They clearly fed off you. You have something they need.

That’s like someone saying to you that you are no longer worth stealing from, because they have already stolen all your money/your time/your patience/even your sanity... OR even more backwards: someone claiming they are entitled to stealing from you, because you have no money...you clearly have something they want.

It’s your prosperity. It’s your potential.

It means your life energy is potent with creativity, imagination, passion, joy...anything, anything you can think of that feeds YOU. They want it.

And people who steal from others are willing to get it by any means necessary.

Why? Because they are greedy. It doesn’t need explaining. They have become something they need to manage, tend to. It is not your responsibility to mend the consequences of their life.

They may say things to you like “I can’t do this alone/on my own! You need to help me!” No. No, you don’t. If they can’t be patient, if they can’t be forthcoming, if they can’t say sorry, if they don’t respect your boundaries, or your time, or your money, or your patience, or your schedule, or the conditions you placed down from when you entered this conflict... No. You don’t.

You don’t owe them anything. You offered to help them.

It is not an equal give and exchange when someone comes to you to burden you with their baggage, but is unwilling to pull their own weight or does not even try (at the least). Especially if they are unwilling to take responsibility for it - ever. And especially if they are just consistently careless towards what they are doing.

You’re not in danger. I’m not trying to scare you, but people don’t take these messages seriously. Because they don’t think they are worthwhile or important.

Everything about you is worthy and important. You are a human being, amazing, and full of potential. You must find that potential.

It’s not going to be by letting these people waste your time, energy, or your resources.

Stop this madness from happening. You have all the authority. You need space to think clearly. Get away from all the people who shroud you in negativity, cause you conflict for conflicts sake, or try to weigh you down by making choices for you.

You can make your own choices. Learn to utilize your agency. Learn to master your intellectual capabilities. Learn to use your voice.

Stumble and fall as many times as you need to, but that’s the beauty of taking ownership. You can fix it if you need to. Right now you need practice more than anything.

And practice makes perfect. You will get better at this. Warding negativity, saying no, and conversely and effectively - shielding yourself from toxic people, environments, and energy vampires. It’s a weird term, but, hey...it’s fitting.

You’ll get better at this. I believe in you.

PS.

For some reason I feel like sharing this, but: even some tarot readers will lie to get what they want out of you...it’s a weird feeling, and a weird thing to be saying, since I’m a tarot reader, myself...But I share my experiences and guidance as reference for what someone else is going through that I clearly see a similarity in (I would be neglecting to say something important to my client if I didn’t share with them the knowledge I needed at that moment in time, where I was at a point in my life when I needed it the most - where I know it will make a big difference, where it is integral to my spiritual growth).

Why would someone do such a thing? Easily, they are human. And they are experiencing feelings of greed, envy, and jealousy. Even bitterness, resentfulness, or insecurity...entitlement. The list goes on and on...

You are all a part of my spiritual community. I’m nervous to say such a thing...but even so. I have faith it will reach the right audiences.

This tarot reading is as much for me as it is for you, because it is general guidance.

But I have come across a plethora of tarot readers who are “spiritually awakened to their purpose” or using the “word of god,” to steer people towards very toxic patterns in their lives, and who do not help them with releasing these patterns.

They spit out this fairy tail garnish, and claim to be above certain behaviors from others, and yet can’t be humble enough to understand they are still a messenger, or a vessel for something higher...They create victim mentality in their clientele, because it keeps them coming back for more answers. Some even jokingly calling it “tea.”

Be mindful of who you are listening to. We don’t all have your best interests in mind. And not all of us are “awakened.” Awakened is such a broad term...I don’t claim to be some higher being. I struggle with mental health issues, and I’m not gonna lie: I am currently struggling through an identity crisis.

I think that makes me human, just like the rest of you. And therefore more willing to cater to a cause, because for some reason, I have been enriched by my spirituality and my clairvoyance. And that just...makes me happy.

A gift is just that: it has been given to you.

It is something we can learn to appreciate together.

Someone wanted you to have this reading today, because they care about you vastly.

Someone wanted to gift you with clairvoyance, because they wanted to enrich you and your life, or makeup for what happened in your life that lead to so much instability and pain - so you can avoid it (see clearly when you move ahead into your successes, and so you are not tethered by your insecurities or past baggage, so it doesn’t reverberate in your life forever).

Someone gifted you with talent, because it is meant to lift you above the things you don’t have at this current moment in time.

Your gift is your redemption to put it simply.

I sacrifice myself for these tarot readings...not because I think I’m important, or my message is better than any one else’s...But because I need this guidance, too, and I imagine someone else might be out there who needs to hear it just as badly.

And if today was my last day on earth, I would wish for it to do some good (if my life meant nothing more before then).

#general reading #tarot #guidance #advice #personal

0 notes