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justfandomtings · 3 years

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Character study of William murderface

Cw: child abuse, ptsd, trauma, internalized homopobia,ect.

Throughout the show, murderface has been presented as a shitty person that is untalented, leeches off of his friends/ fame, and honestly just seem to have gotten lucky when getting into dethklok.

Which is true, but I want to look in a little deeper why he's like this. (Note:this might be kinda head cannonish. I have some examples from the actual show but since we never got a deep backstory for murderface or get many murderface centric episodes I'll be filling in some empty spaces.)

Murderface in the show

Murderface is extremely self loathing and has had moments where he just goes so hard in on himself.

Season 1 episode 1

We see this in the very beginning when he refers to himself as the 'fat one.'

It could've been played off as a simple joke, which it was in the show for the audience watching. But in the show's universe and for the character, this will be an occurring thing.

This continues in

Season 1 episode 3

It's murderface's birthday and the boys throw murderface a party. During his party murderface is shown complaining and being stand-offish. You would think the last thing he would want is a party, yet he still sends out invites to his bandmates. (Note: noticed how the invites were sent right after murderface left the room? Idk it just seemed like he was embarrassed or scared his bandmates would laugh at him for wanting a birthday party. He even tried to act non chalant when the invite said "come if you want, who gives a piss." when they did throw him a party he still came)

When the boys pulled a little, kinda mean but harmless prank on him, literally giving him the gift of nothing. Murderface was fucking hurt, like genuine tears almost left this man's eyes when he come into his room to get his thing's and 'run away'.

Of course the boys did give murderface an actual gift, which honestly had a lot of thought and effort put into it. This makes murderface cry a tear. (Of blood but you know still a tear)

This is the example of the boy's showing they care for murderface. But even after this big gesture murderface will continue to believe the opposite.

The show continues and we get the first and honestly only backstory for murderface.

Season 1 episode 6

When the boys get a band therapist, we find out the tragic murder/suicide of murderface's parents. His father killing his mother then himself with a chainsaw, this whole thing happens while murderface as a baby sits in his highchair unaware while eating his cereal. This flashback makes murderface kinda sit there in shock as he pisses his pants.

(Note: murderface has said in the show that his appearance was the reason his parents are dead. If that really was the case, why didn't his father kill him or at least killed him after he killed his mother? Why did his father just kill his wife and himself? Never laying a single hand on murderface? Will get back to that later.)

Season 1 episode 9

Bringing up this episode may be confusing to some for bringing this up since it doesn't focus solely on murderface. He doesn't even get that much screen time this episode. But I would like to point out his actions in that episode.

In this episode the boys adopt a young teen boy they name fatty ding dong and raise him as their son for probably couple of weeks. While the boys all had their...interesting way of raising him. Murderface had the most physical fights with fatty ding dong. Mostly when we misbehaved. Like hitting him, shocking him non stop with a tazer, beating him for eating his civil war boots ect.

I just like to point out that murderface was raised by his grandparents. We'll come back to more of that later in the post.

Season 1 episode 11

The band gets reunited with their families and what we see from murderface and his family is that they are very violent towards each other. Murderface tries to choke his grandmother when looking in at her mouth as she chewed. Pickles and Nathan had to snap himself out of it, murderface apologized saying it was his fault for looking to deeply.

Like that was some kind of trigger from his past that made him black out and get violent.

He was also highly against buying his grandfather a wheelchair, only doing so because the boys agreed to be nice towards their family to get them to leave.

Even when they were spending time with each other, they never touched each other William kept his distance. Only ever touching if it was fight related.

In the same episode we see why, Stella was so physically abusive towards murderface, spraying fucking pepper spray into his eyes when he did..nothing? He wasn't aggressive or was even part of the issue. She just attacks him because she had to change his diapers?

This belittlement and physical abuse continues everytime they are together on screen.

So to bring back up season 1 episode 9. With how murderface treated fatty ding dong we can assume that's how we was being treated while under the care of his grandparents. Children soak up things like a sponge. Whether you think they remember it or not. Many psychological reports has shown that children will mimick and repeat behaviors and actions their caretakers do. If it's right or not, children will do things because that's what this adult dose. That's what they see at home. It's normal to them if that is the environment they grow in. Even if the child feels like something is off or wrong. They won't know exactly what is wrong or why because it's all they know.

So if this is how murderface was raised, which highly may be the case since we see Stella physically abuse murderface even as an adult. He might have actually thought this is how you raise a child, this is what you do to a child when they misbehaved. Nobody in his life has corrected murderface or explain to him that this way of discipline isn't ok or even discipline to begin with, it is abuse.

So, we are to believe with the information we have now. Is that murderface was most likely abused as a child, probably all the way up till he was able to get away from them and join dethklok.

With this information we can apply this to his behavior in the show. A side effect from child abuse is suicidal behavior. Throughout the show Murderface would now and then casually commit about hurting or killing himself.

Season 1 episode 2

Murderface casually states if it'll be brutal enough for him to just take his life after Nathan deltes another record. Or when the boys kindly ask him to stop eating beans, he gets oddly emotional and says he'll just starve to death then.

Another effect from child abuse is eating disorders and obesity.

You already know this a big part of murderface's character. There are times where he's seen constantly eating junk food, to eating nothing and just drinking coffee, to the doctor pointing out the back of his teeth are decaying. And murderface informs him it's from throwing up his food.

He also gets teased for his weight being called chubby and fat, ect. Murderface has a hard time with his weight, his excessive eating may even be seen as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

Other effects such as aggressive behavior, low self esteem, dissociation, ect. Is also shown within the show.

Season 1 episode 15

Murderface gets into a motorcycle accident and is sent into the hospital. This near death experience gets him on a religious journey. Maybe to find answers to certain questions or possibly wondering where he was going to go if he did die? Is he a good person, why do certain things happen to people, what's the meaning of life?

He asked the guys if he really deserved to live. Does he really deserve to be brought onto this world, being a part of a pretty good and rare type of life.

The boys being emotionally closed off don't really answer his question. They honestly brush it off but they do go along with murderface on his spiritual journey.

He eventually chooses no religion, but I feel that near death experience stuck with him. He either decided that life was too short so might as well live it, or a more cynical view on life. That it's meaningless then who cares if he died?

Season 2 episode 11

This is probably an episode where murderface was the most sad and self loathing. (This and another episode I can't wait to get to) after his concert, he felt pretty shitty with the outcome and had lead him to feel that he does not deserve the life he has now and wonders why he even shows his face. Just wanting the spot light for one.

Which is really interesting. Because comparing season 1 with the other 3. Murderface in season one had...fans. There were people who genuinely liked him. The prime example is his birthday episode.

When he had a solo, just like in season 2 episode 11. People were cheering his name. Practically screaming at the rooftops for him. So what happened?

We already know that murderface is the least liked member of the band, but even then he still had fans. Hell people committed terrorists attacks just for him on his birthday.

Maybe it was just a loud minority? Who knows, but if in the show as time went on less and less people had him as his favorite or even just liked him would probably get him really insecure.

After the concert failure, Charles let's him host a Nas car event. Which I'd think would've gone actually well if you know, the dethklok curse wasn't a thing.

Also as murderface was planning the event people around him didn't really support him or help him out. Which is mostly murderface's fault, he has a lack of focus and doesn't really plan things through. This is a good reason for partners and others outside wanting to work with dethklok not want to work with murderface. It costs money and a lot of time to do all the things related to dethklok. And murderface's flakeyness is a valid reason for business and others to not have faith in him when related to these things.

BUT! (This is a little bit of projection here) as someone who also has a lack of focus and hard time to get things done. That doesn't mean I don't want to do said thing, that doesn't mean I want to waste others time. I simply have a hard time focusing, I need structure and that little reminder to get things done. But the difference between me and murderface is that I'm not a billionaire.

I am not apart of a popular metal band, with all the money in the world, with a manager that will clean up every little mess I make.

I have more risk, whatever I fuck up will effect me. I will suffer the consequences. Murderface won't. (Also he's a fictional character..so reality won't have any affect on him lol)

But yea, I believe if murderface would suffer from his consequences then he'd be a bit more on things. Also I feel murderface's mental health issues play a huge role in things.

His fear that he's not good enough, eating disorders, ect. Can really mess up your focus.

So, now to the infamous episode. Dethvanity.

Season 4 episode 8

In this episode Murderface in nominated for the most brutal looking award and this. Fucks. Him. Up.

So much so that he actually hallucinates his bandmates and Charles calling him ugly and other things that they never even said.

When he goes to the plastic surgeon, he tells him. A complete stranger, that he hates himself. For murderface to actually admit this deep issue that he's been keeping deep down. For him to show vulnerability to a stranger is pretty sad.

When he goes to Nathan to borrow money, he tells a story of a 'boy' that was so ugly that he's driven his parents to murder suicide. Again he's calling himself ugly and blaming himself for his parents death. (Were going to get back to that too.)

After murderface gets the surgery he days dream about what would happen if he was beautiful. Finally being accepted and able to say fuck you to all those that were shit to him.

Of course, it doesn't end like that. He's face gets infected and is even more ugly than before.

This episode was pretty messed up. Murderface didn't get what he thought would give him validation, he looks down on himself more, and he is humiliated front of 100s of people.

This whole shit show probably validated all the negative thoughts he had for himself.

Next we'll talk about his internalized homopobia. Murderface...is definitely..not straight. He's not gay either he does have sexual attraction to women but his uncomfortably and very interesting moments and visions say he might like more than just that.

Season 2 episode 5

Murderface has a weird thing with eating 'penis' shaped objects or watching other eating said shaped objects.

He has a lot of weird moments where he gets really close to one of his bandmates and just whispers something in their ear. Specifically Pickles and Skwisgaar.

He just said fuck it and tried to bang toki while they were in the submarine.

Had hallucinations of cutting between women, men, animals, even his own grandmother and was distraught when he had a small moment of admitting he way gay.

There's no real specific reason why or how murderface is this scared of being gay. But I feel it may also be with how he grew up. He was probably been told it was wrong to be gay and how immoral it was to like men and you'll burn in hell if you do. Also being gay wouldn't be 'brutal' or 'manly'.

And not to shit on metal heads but you know. They're not the...most..exclusive group of people.

I think murderface is scared to accept he's gay because his grandparents made him feel he would be a bad person if he was or get kicked out of the band if he was.

So, after all I laid on the table, let's wrap this up. Back to the blaming himself of his parents deth. I believe, Williams parents didn't kill/murder themselves because he has ugly. I like to think the opposite, I believe his parents actually dearly cared for him. I think his father had some serious mental issues or something else pushed him over the edge.

It could be anything really, maybe his dad was crazy, maybe it had something to do with the curse. I like to think they both cared for him his dad just..idk snapped.

I'm assuming murderface's grandparents are his dads parents. And seeing how they treated murderface they most definitely treated his dad the same.

Or, it wasn't murder/suicide at all. Buckle in because it's all tv theory over here. I have a hard time to believe that murderface remembered, in such detail in fact. How his parents died, in the flashback he looks to be 7 to 8 months? Traumatic event yes, but there's no way a baby can remember such a thing.

I think, Stella lied to murderface about how his parents died. I think it was just some evil twisted thing she said to make murderface feel terrible about himself. His parents probably unfortunately died in say a car accident or health related issues. But the main thing is how guilty murderface feels, how terrible he feels that he thinks he was the reason he killed his parents when that's far from the truth.

It was either an unfortunate accident or his father killing themselves. But it is not murderface's fault.

The physical abuse from his grandparents, the guilt of believing he's the reason for his parents death, his aggressive internalized homopobia, lack of support, the bullying from his bandmates, body issues/eating disorder, and it just keeps going.

It's no fucking wonder why the man is like this. Don't get me wrong, murderface is an asshole and is responsible for most of his actions.

But that's still a lot of shit for someone to go through.

That's all I have, this is really long. But I hoped you like this little thread. There's still more to his character but this is long enough.

#metalocalypse #william murderface #dethklok

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samuel-de-champagne-problems · 3 years

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It's Delicate: Part III

Summary: Spencer Reid finds himself at a gas station at 2:00 am, thinking he’s only leaving with a cup of crappy coffee. But something taped to the door catches his eye. Spencer leaves the gas station with more than he intended: the chance at a friend, and maybe something more along the way.

Word Count: 3.9

Author’s Note: Here's Part 3!! This was super difficult for me to get out, but I think I'm happy with it. I rewrote it like 3 or 4 times

It's Delicate: Part III

Spencer notices everything. He’s been trained to notice the slightest change in his environment. He supposes that his profiler training has helped him be more comfortable in social situations. But still, Spencer feels like a fish out of water as he pushes the door to the bookstore open. He knows he should feel at home when he’s in a bookstore, but his heart seems to be racing. Spencer tries to quiet his nerves before he can feel himself running away.

Thinking that it might be a good idea to distract himself, Spencer walks over to the bookshelf filled with books from the floor to the ceiling. He runs his fingers along the spine of the books. Some are old and used, and others are well cared for with their enabled and embossed writing on the spines. He recognizes some titles, but others aren’t too familiar. There’s a whole world of books out there that Spencer has yet to explore. There’s a couple other patrons in the store, an older woman who sits on the soft rocking chair in the back corner and a young woman who already has a pile of books tucked under her arms.

Looking around, Spencer walks towards the back of the store where a glowing sign directs him to the restroom. He goes into the Men’s Room and locks the door behind him. Spencer looks at his reflection in the mirror. He wouldn’t consider himself a vain man, nor would he consider himself aloof about his appearance. He’s very much aware of the deep lines that collect around his eyes and the dark bags underneath. Spencer runs his fingers through his hair, wondering if he should have gotten a haircut. He likes the way his longer hair looks. It took so long after getting released from prison to get his curls back. His hair is the one part of his physical appearance that Spencer can say he likes; the rest he’s a little less than indifferent about on a good day.

Spencer shuts the light off in the bathroom and heads back to the front of the store. He approaches the store clerk, who sits behind the counter. She’s talking with the young woman who had the pile of books tucked under her arms. Spencer looks around the store, trying to find a sign for where the book club meets. He realizes that he doesn’t even know what Y/N looks like. He decides to take out his phone to text Y/N that he’s here. Spencer walks to the short stories section of the store and looks for the “P”s. Once he finds the book he’s looking for he takes a photo and attaches it to the message.

Spencer: How have I not discovered this place sooner??

He doesn’t expect for Y/N to text him back right away, so he tucks his phone back into his pocket. Spencer walks to the front of the store. The display highlights the books of the month with different authors, genres, and themes. It’s a quaint little store and Spencer wonders why he put off visiting so long. The young woman finishes with the clerk and brushes past Spencer, her face buried in her phone. Spencer walks towards the shelves of True Crime books. He sees Rossi’s latest release about the Golden State Killer. Before Spencer can pick up the book, he feels his phone buzz in his pocket.

Y/N: Ooooh a man after my own heart :) I’m guessing you’re here too

Spencer: Yes...I just realized I don’t know what you look like?

Y/N: Well, I guess that means you have to find me

Spencer looks around at the patrons in the store. The older woman and the younger woman seem like the only logical candidates. The young woman doesn’t look up when Spencer brushes past, her attention is intently focused on the book across her lap, while the older woman swipes on her e-reader.

Spencer: You know I could just call you and your phone would ring

Y/N: That’s like cheating

Y/N: Turn around

Spencer turns around and is greeted by the young woman who brushed past him before. She smiles up at him and Spencer can’t help but grin back at her. He didn’t really give much thought to what Y/N looks like, and he can only hope that she didn’t think too much about him in that way. Spencer has to stop himself from that spiral, and remind himself that it’s not a date.

“You’re Y/N?” Spencer asks, hoping that he doesn’t sound too nervous.

“Yes, and I really hope you’re Spencer,” she says, “you’re nothing like I pictured,”

Spencer’s face must have shown his shock because Y/N’s hand comes up to gently touch his upper arm in an attempt to quell his worry.

“No, nothing bad, Spencer. You just text like a grandpa so I figured you were a lonely old man. I’m just surprised that you’re pretty...young is all,” Y/N finishes her voice climbing up a couple of scales making her nerves evident.

Spencer nods in agreement, used to people thinking he’s older than he actually is his entire life. He supposes that’s because of his intelligence coupled with his social ineptitude.

“Well, judging by your texting, I predicted that you would be around my age, or younger,” Spencer says he’s always had difficulties keeping conversations going, yet right now his mind is swimming of different things he can tell Y/N.

“So you ready for your first Book Buddy meeting?” Y/N asks. The corners of her mouth turn upwards in a playful smile. Spencer likes her smile and grows disappointed that the only time he’ll be able to see it is when they meet together. As much as he is technology adverse, he wouldn’t mind being able to see her smile through her emojis and snarky messages.

“I’m still not too sure what we’re supposed to do, but at least I’ve got you to show me,”

“Come on Book Buddy virgin,” Y/N says winking at Spencer as she walks past him to the staircase that leads to the store’s basement.

Spencer tries to ignore her comment, but even with his brain power he can’t stop his ears from turning pink. He’s always blushing around people who listen to him, especially when those people are so enthralling to watch.

In the basement, there’s shelves and shelves of books lining the walls. A couple of couches and sofas are tucked in the corner with a table and lamp. The soft light is warm and inviting. Spencer’s eyes can’t help but to scan the various titles in the collection. Y/N flops down on the couch and taps the seat, signalling for Spencer to sit next to her.

Sitting down next to her, Spencer wonders how much space he should put between them. He doesn’t want to sit so close and have her think he’s only here to make a pass at her. Nor does he want to sit so far away, because the scent of her peppermint and eucalyptus perfume threatens to mesmerize him.

Y/N brushes her hair from her face with her right hand, that’s adorned with a ring and a couple gold bracelets. She looks over at Spencer apprehensively and he tries to give her a comforting smile back, but he’s afraid that he just looks awkward. He suddenly is very aware that his breath tastes like stale coffee and his hair is wild, pointing out in several directions.

“So Spencer,” Y/N says, “usually we meet in a big group to do these Book Clubs, but this year the store decided to do this Book Buddy thing. Reading and picking out books for someone can be a very personal thing, so I’d like to get to know you a little bit better if that’s alright?”

Spencer’s eyes steady the woman before him. She looks over at him, her eyes never breaking from his. Psychology shows that holding eye contact is a sign of confidence, for a litany of reasons, Spencer has always had difficulties maintaining eye contact. He sighs loudly. It’s almost a mix between exasperation and confusion. Even though Spencer has spent a good portion of his adult life surrounded by very forward people, he still feels slightly nervous when he comes across those types recreationally. Especially when those types seem to have smiles so contagious that they throw every scientific study on germs out the window.

“You want to know about me?” Spencer repeats. He can feel his ears flush, and is thoroughly reminded that he hardly knows who he is.

“Yes, I want to know all your salacious stories Spencer,” Y/N says with a sly smile.

Spencer chokes out a strained laugh before he tries to think of an answer. He can’t remember the last time someone wanted to get to know him. Or maybe he does, and just wants to pretend that those memories died with her. But he can’t, because they are painful and real.

“I’m an FBI Agent, uh the Behavioral Analysis Unit specifically. We track down serial killers and other time sensitive cases,” Spencer says, used to giving the speech about his job on the rare occasion he does talk to another lonely soul at a random bar in a city.

He looks over at Y/N, ready for the reaction he usually gets. Sometimes it’s pity, other times it’s awe. But it all tastes the same with a shot of whiskey.

“That must be an incredibly exhausting job, Spencer. It takes a special kind of person to do that,”

That’s strange, Spencer thinks. Her words aren’t full of pity or awe, but almost understanding. It’s strange, but Spencer likes strange things, after all.

“It is,” Spencer says. He doesn’t feel the need to fill the silence with useless words that he knows are stale and meaningless. Somehow the silence doesn’t feel awkward.

“How long have you been in the FBI?” Y/N asks. She’s curious, but cautious to proceed and Spencer appreciates that.

“Since I was 22. I’m 34. I’ll be 35 soon,” Spencer says, still not fully believing that he’s spent nearly 13 years at the BAU.

“22, that’s a baby. I didn’t think that the FBI would recruit that young,”

Spencer grimaces, realizing that sooner or later this conversation would arise. He figured it would have come up when he got through the books in an hour or two. Spencer hates having to tell people about his intelligence. He never wants to make someone feel inferior about themselves because of his brain chemistry and genetic lottery.

“I’m kinda smart. Technically I’m a genius but I really hate that term. The idea behind intelligence testing has a very sexist and racist background. Besides, I don’t think true intelligence is accurately quantifiable,” Spencer tells her, repeating his speech usually reserved for arrogant detectives.

“That sounds like something a genius would say. You’re a humble genius. That’s a rare breed, Spencer” Y/N says, that contagious smile turning up the corners of her mouth and threatening to take over Spencer’s.

“I think that’s a compliment,” Spencer says “what about you? Tell me about yourself?” Spencer says, trying to remember the points of the conversation books he used to read as a kid in hopes of making a friend.

“Let’s see, you already know the boys. I don’t have any siblings and my mom lives in Florida, so we don’t see each other too often. I’m a Funeral Director in Alexandria, took it over after my dad passed a couple years,” Y/N says.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Spencer responds. Y/N smiles again, clearly a little tense to be talking about a sensitive topic.

“So Second Cat, I take it you’re a Poe fan,” Spencer says, holding to help ease into a more pleasant conversation.

“I like his short stories the best, but Emily Dickinson poetry will always have my heart. There’s something so ordinarily beautiful about the way she writes. She was so brilliant. And her and Susan, that’s a tragic love story,” Y/N finishes. She plays with the hem of her jacket absentmindedly almost like she wants to say something more.

“I first read “The Tell Tale Heart” when I was around 5,” Spencer starts, he rests his elbows on his knees to tell a story and he can’t help but feel a little excited when Y/N leans in a little closer to listen in, “I checked it out from the library and brought it home to read. Now it just so happened that I got a chemistry set. I will not incriminate myself but I may or may not have used the set as the directions intended,” Spencer says, holding up his hands in innocence.

Y/N scams him with a calculated stare, it’s not mean or judgmental, but cautious and careful. It’s like she’s deciding if she can trust him or not. He supposes she does when she winks back and says, “I’m sure that’s true Agent Reid,”

“It’s actually Dr Reid, but I’ll get there another day,” Spencer says quickly, eager to get back to his story, “so the chemistry set had some chemicals, the kind that won’t hurt kids. But I stole some sodium chlorate from the local gardening store and a pack of gummy worms from the Mini-Mart. Then I got back home and took out the chemistry set. I drop some of the sodium chlorate and gummy bears into the test tube and it starts to glow!” Spencer says, his voice gets excited when he remembers the experiment. There’s very few happy moments of his childhood, and this is one.

Y/N, listening to him eagerly, wears an excited expression as Spencer continues with the story. He’s forgotten what it’s like to have someone so interested in what you have to say.

“How does Poe fit in?” Y/N asks. Spencer’s fingers make a “1” as if to tell her to be patient.

“So I do the experiment and there’s pieces of molten gummy worms in my hair and on my clothes, but then I hear my mother walking up the stairs so I panic,” Spencer says, he’s an animated storyteller and Y/N is a captivated audience. He tries to not pay close attention to how her eyes hardly leave his or how they seem to be looking at him with wonder. But it’s hard to ignore that when you’ve never been looked at like that before.

“I scramble into my bed and shove the experiment under the bed, and it’s still smelling like burnt chemicals and gummy worms, mind you. And I pretend to read, but I’m reading The Tell Tale Heart, which you know is about a man who’s trying to cover up a terrible deed but literally shoving it under the floor. You know I think my 5 year old mind exploded that day,” Spencer says, he leans back so his head rests against the wall.

“It must have made quite an impression on you at what 5? How on Earth did you read Edgar Allen Poe at 5 years old? I didn’t read that until like Freshman year of high school,”

“I told you I was kind of smart,” Spencer replies, hoping that it would suffice.

“Yeah, but like a child prodigy that must have been very lonely,” Y/N says in a voice that tells Spencer she knows a thing or two about being intensely lonely.

“No one ever says that,” Spencer says in a hushed tone, “no one ever gets that it’s a lonely thing being a genius,” he finishes, putting air quotes around genius to show his discomfort with the term.

Y/N nods, “I’m not a genius by any means, Spencer, but I was an only kid. Part of me thinks it’s my fate to lonely,”

“I’m an only kid too,” Spencer says, “when I asked my mom why they didn’t have anymore kids she just told me why mess with perfection. I know it was meant to make me feel better, but part of me wonders what it would have been like to have a built in friend,”

“Tell me if I’m overstepping, I tend to do that, but do you want kids?” Y/N asks, she twists a ring that’s wrapped around her finger over and over like it’s a bad habit. She looks at him, expecting an answer, from the corner of her eye.

“I did,” Spencer says in a quiet voice, terrified that he’ll reveal too much to this enticing woman with eyes that never seem to want to look anywhere, but his.

“So did I,” Y/N tells him. Her voice mirrors his in it’s guarded, yet scared to reveal too much tone. Spencer is too busy hiding his own worry to recognize Y/N’s.

“I was thinking,” Spencer starts, determined to end the stale silence that settled between them, “of what book I thought you’d like. It’s actually a personal copy of mine. I had know clue how these things work, but I thought we could write notes in the margins. You know our thoughts and ideas about the book,”

Y/N gazes over at Spencer intently, as if she’s trying to think of how she’ll respond. Spencer notices the way Y/N pauses to think before she speaks, he tries to subdue the profiler training that ebbs to the surface, but he can’t control what his instincts tell him. He knows that Y/N is holding something back, but then again, so is he and who is he to judge.

“You’re okay with writing in a book?” Y/N asks, “I know that could be touchy for some,”

“Most of my books have little writings in the margins. I always thought that a book is a love letter from the author to the reader. You get to see inside their mind and to me that’s incredibly personal,” Spencer says, rubbing his palms that grew sweaty on his pants. It’s useless, because they just slide off.

“Well, you’ve convinced me, I brought a book too, but it doesn’t have notes,” Y/N says, “but if this works out, I’ll do it next time?” Y/N asks him, the hope in her voice apparent.

“I’d love nothing more than that, Y/N,” Spencer says, wanting nothing more than to reach out and brush his fingertips against Y/N’s. Her hand keeps on creeping closer to Spencer’s, he thinks that she’s trying to send him a signal, but Spencer feels too wounded, too raw to take that first big leap.

“So,” Spencer starts, he decides to clasp his hands together to avoid this new predicament, “what book did you decide on?”

“Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, it’s one of the few books that is perfect,” Y/N says, putting emphasis on the “perfect,”. Spencer thinks that he can grow to be eager to wait each week for the hour or so he’s able to watch Y/N speak with such passion and love.

“I’ve heard about, but I generally read technically books and other that it’s mainly just books that aren’t in English,” Spencer tells her, he rummages through his bag, looking for his book for Y/N.

“Close your eyes please,” Spencer says, he hides the book behind his back, he smiles as Y/N’s absurdly contagious smile grows.

“Come on Spencer, I don’t like being teased,” Y/N whines, faux pout and all.

Spencer grabs her hand and guides it to the cover of the book, The Goldfinch. He lets go of her hand; his practically stinging from the way her fingertips pressed up against the back of his hand, even though it was only for a couple of seconds.

“The Goldfinch” Y/N says, “ooh how on Earth did you know I love Donna Tartt?”

“Lucky guess, I suppose,” Spencer says, a surge of confidence bolstering him enough to wink at Y/N.

Spencer watches as Y/N flips through the pages of her book. Spencer read it a couple of weeks ago and loved the way the author intertwined the mystery to create a riveting story. Spencer checks his watch, realizing that nearly two hours have passed since he and Y/N sat on the couch.

Just as Y/N goes to say something, Spencer’s phone rings, ripping him from his modest paradise. He gives Y/N an apologetic look and mouths “work” as he steps away from Y/N.

“Reid,” he says, he forgot to check the caller ID, a little too excited to finish this call and get back to Y/N.

“Is that seriously how you greet your favorite person in the world?” the voice, presumably Garcia asks.

“Garcia,” Spencer says, unable to hold back his slight annoyance.

“I know it’s time off, but I guess like male serial killers don’t respect women, they don’t respect our time off either,” Garcia quips.

“I’ll be there in 20, I’m out and I’ll need to get my go bag,” Spencer tells her, preparing for the inevitable.

“I know exactly where you are, Spencer. A little birdie told me you’d called him in panic. I really hope your lady friend appreciated your lavender shirt,” Garcia says. Spencer can hear the click of keys as she talks.

He rolls his eyes, but knew that this was to be expected, “Later, Garcia,” he says, hanging up the phone call. Spencer walks back over to Y/N, whose face is buried in the book. She twirls a pen in her right hand, like she’s thinking about what she’ll write in the margins.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N, but I have to cut this short, work emergency,” he explains to an Y/N understanding Y/N, who nods her head.

“Don’t worry, text me that you got home safe, please,” Y/N tells him, looking up at him with genuine worry in her eyes.

“I promise, Y/N. I’ll see you soon,” Spencer says, grabbing his book and making his way up the stairs. He reaches the top flight when his phone buzzes.

Y/N: I mean it :)

Y/N: It was nice meeting you officially….

Spencer reads over the messages as he walks, replaying the interaction in his head. It’s strange to have someone care if you make it home say. The only people on Earth, besides Spencer’s mother, that care if Spencer makes it home are the people that risk their lives with him as well.

Spencer shoots a quick message back.

Spencer: I promise and I hope you like the book, it’s very special to me.

Y/N: I’m sure I’ll love it! Now go save the world :) :)

Spencer smiles to himself as he reads the message, amazed that her contagious smile can make its way through the string of code from his smartphone. As he drives off, Spencer thinks about the way Y/N actually listens to him or the way her hair sees fall perfectly into place. He thinks about her laugh and the way she almost makes him feel safe in the short time he’s known her.

But all those good thoughts amount to nothing, when the biggest thought on Spencer’s mind revolves around the shiny ring that sits on her left hand on the finger between her pinky and pointer finger.

A wedding ring.

-TAGLIST- (Comment to be added or if I forgot to add you)

@shemarmooresfedora

@april-14-blog

@willowrose99

@calm-and-doctor

@spideygenius

@measure-in-pain

@nomajdetective

@spencerreid9

@saspencereid

@laurakirsten0502

@thatsonezesty13 (I'm trying what's wrong with this tag)

Thank You For Reading

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fluff #dr spencer reid #spencer reid x you #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid angst #spencer reid comfort #spencer reid x reader series #criminal minds fanfic #it's delicate #spencer reid it's deicate

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obeymeluv · 3 years

Note

Could I please request an MC who has two male Doberman, who wondered in the Devildom somehow and found them? They are both very aggressive and protective of their owner, following them around RAD and anywhere really. Also I imagine them smelling MC and having the brothers scents on them, and they don’t like it so they start rubbing their scent over MC instead, and becoming territorial over them. Thank you and I love your work!❤️

I’m not sure which characters this was for since there weren’t any tags so I just did the bros. Enjoy! School is starting to kill me but I’m also trying to get ahead so things don’t get as messed up as they were last semester. The likelihood of it messed up is very high and out of my control and I’ve yet to come to terms with that. Anyways, enjoy :)

Lucifer:

He quite likes dogs so when these two wandered through the portal on accident, he wasn’t against letting them stay.

They look like proud, tough dogs. He’s a fan. They look like they could make some serious faces and he’s quite amused

Almost makes him sad that he can’t have Cerberus close like that

Did NOT expect them to be so aggressive and protective over you

Good boy statements retracted for the BOTH of them!

Super salty they see him as a threat (HIM? HOW DARE THEY?!) and will actually growl back at them and flare his wings if no one’s around and it’s on the wrong day

They are CONSTANTLY rubbing up on you and making efforts to separate you and he hates it

They jump up on the furniture and stretch out on it so obnoxiously! It’s ridiculous! One of them even took his chair when he got up to get something and you didn’t make them give it back!

His only reprieve is spiriting you away to his study and even then, they whine until you come out

Tries to be very subtle about spraying you down/wiping you off if he thinks you smell too much like them. He’s starting to hate the smell.

Mammon:

All pets are good pets to this one (birds are just the best).

He might be planning to steal your dogs. They look regal and badass and perfect for someone like The Great Mammon, you know?

Wants to play with them and is very sad when they want nothing to do with him, and borderline get aggressive with him.

Boy is super offended. HE’S THE GREAT MAMMON!

Mammon goes to you for comfort (TAKE THAT, YA DUMB DOGS!) but has another freak out when they thread themselves through his legs to separate you.

He somehow accidentally ends up straddling one and it tried to bite him in the Grimm (and he’s not talking about his wallet!). He backs up so fast he trips over one of them and tails go waggin’ as they smugly snuggle up to you and he gets smacked with puppy tail

All of his openings to sit or wiggle his way next to you have been replaced with puppy face. Or they’ll lay in front of the space and growl at him when he moves towards it

They’ve basically trapped him in the hallway outside your room because they just sit in the doorway and growl at him

He pouts and goes to complain to his crows

Levi:

Didn’t trust the dogs when they came in, and his sin animal isn’t even a prey animal! They make him skittish and he’s not sure why.

They just look loud and he’s not a fan.

He gets very flustered when they stand between the two of you, growl, or give those airy barks.

Levi usually triggers his demon form to protect himself and has wrapped himself in his tail

The dogs sometimes run him into the wall if he tries to walk down the hall with you. You try to wrangle them and keep them on your side only, but one has broken off, fallen back, and come up and nudged him in the back. He nearly hit the roof!

They don’t seem as focused on him as his other brothers, so he’s grateful for that. In fact, the worst thing they ever did (besides pretending to bite but not actually getting close enough to do so), was farting in a space HE wanted to sit in! AND OF COURSE SOMEONE CAME IN AFTER AND THOUGHT HE DID IT! HE DID NOT!

They seem to steal all your pets and affection and it definitely send him into a muttering spiral in his room.

Satan:

Also admires these proud looking doggos, although he’s partial to cats

Probably has the worst relationship with them out of all the brothers because he KNOWS what they’re trying to do and is ready to play this game

What’s this? A ball? GO GET IT! Given how demons can throw, the dogs may be gone for a while

100% reads about animal psychology in his spare time. Anything about canine or pack dynamics, too. He WILL speak their language and make himself acceptable enough to hang out with you like before they came along. If they do not accept him, they will submit to him.

If they make angry noises at him, he makes angry noises back. It’s not childish, it’s training them! He and Lucifer have the most success with this ‘backtalk’ because of the aura they give off

These are not dumb dogs. They will get back at him, too. It’s very much a ‘2 vs. 1, distract him!’ where one of them grabs a book and leads him on a chase while the other snuggles up to you and takes his spot

He may stay away from you a bit after that, nursing his precious book

If they watch you leave from the House of Lamentation during school days, he makes faces at them as you leave. Of course, he doesn’t know Diavolo gave you and Lucifer clearance to bring them to RAD so he hears the door open across the yard and just starts booking it because they’re coming for him (he has no regrets).

Asmodeus:

How could anyone (or anything) hate him? Have you seen him?!

Definitely compliments them before he realizes how territorial they are. Admires their shiny coat

Asmodeus can negate most of the bad blood with his charming gaze but it does get exhausting. The dogs always seem on the cusp, even with it

Still cuddles up to you and snuggles with you but does so sparingly because it takes a lot out of him to use his charm on animals (harder than people), especially when he can’t feed to keep his energy up

Starts telling himself things that make it sound reasonable for not being around them (”I don’t want to smell like dog,” or “I don’t want to ruin my outfit.”)

Thinks their territorial behavior is cute but also annoying. He already has to deal with his brothers and now he has to deal with DOGS, too? Ugh...

Realizes he can outsmart them with some basic demon transportation and often uses that to steal you away. He’s grown up in a house full of brothers so he can block out some whining. It’s fine.

Asmo: 1, dogs: 0.

Beelzebub:

Would any animal actually hate Beel? He seems like such a cinnamon roll soul that I can’t really any animal hating him. He’s basically a Disney princess in a demon body

These dogs may be territorial but he thinks they’re more bark than bite

They may make an exception for Beelzebub because Beelzebub = food.

Do they stand in his way or try to herd him away from you? Beel honestly thinks they’re playing and will pick them up and move them, too.

The dogs are kind of stunned after that. HE JUST PICKED THEM UP?! Their confidence is shaken

If they bark at him, he’ll make a noise back. May get a little too into it and turn it into a ‘who can make the biggest noise?’ thing. He wins that, too, not realizing demon vocals are different for dog hearing.

All the dogs really have to their name when it comes to Beelzebub is that they can make it into your lap faster or that you’ll stop what you’re doing to scratch their head if they put it on your leg. That’s it.

Beel is the only one they don’t really bother because they’ve tried and lost that fight too many times.

Belphegor:

He is the failed Beelzebub prototype. Where Beel succeeds because of his strength and mannerisms, Belphie cannot. He’s too quiet and passive.

Honestly, he scared the dogs as much as they scared him. He was probably asleep when they came through the portal one day after a quick trip back home

The dogs literally start barking and prancing forward. Belphie is annoyed. Too much noise. Cracks his tail like a whip to make it stop.

The dogs honestly don’t even track him that much or make a fuss when he shows up because he’s gone most of the day. It’s a constant ‘forgot you were here, you’ve done me a frighten!’ with Belphie

He’s definitely scared them so bad they’ve peed on the floor (but he’s only done it twice). The first time was when they tried to take his pillow from him, and the second time was when one of them bit his tail and tried to pull him off the couch after you’d slid in beside him

Overall, these dogs have learned not to mess with Belphie.

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shoichee · 3 years

Text

KNB OC

Name: Shirobi Arisu

School: Touou Academy

Zodiac: Pisces

Note: I gave it an attempt to draw her portraits in the Production I.G artstyle! Excuse the lazy anatomy and messy sketch lines, er... hope they don’t distract you too bad? Also EXTREMELY long profile, hence the cut! This is a 300-follower special, but perhaps I’ll do something with Shirobi in the future! (Shirobi is her surname, Arisu is her first name)

Appearances

Personality

she is very much described to be “fox-like” in demeanor, slipping in and out of conversations naturally and with ease, being able to show different aspects and sides of her to different types of people

her default persona in encountering new people is a noble, unassuming/demure one in order to gauge how they interact with her before adjusting accordingly // you can see what that looks like here

a very innate actress, but the most cynical description of her would be “two-faced,” though it’s important to note that her personas are not so drastic that they seem like different people (like Akashi’s situation); perhaps if someone was keenly observing her for a while, they would notice

she does subtle shifts in aspects of her personality’s repertoire because of: 1.) becoming more compatible with people, and thus, having the most efficient conversations without having “annoying, unnecessary” conflicts with them, and 2.) studying people in different social settings is interesting to her

as a result of her jumping around and exploring different sides of her to different people daily, she does wind up suffering from mini identity crises and mental exhaustion very frequently

after a whole dismantle of her *mostly harmless* mind schemes (particularly by a close friend or two later on), her “true self” would be a deflective “tsundere-like” character, since her visceral reaction is for her to always slip into a convenient persona for the situation rather than being initially honest with herself and the people around her, and without the security of a “persona,” she gets flustered and embarrassed very *very* easily

hobbies in her free time include either being alone to sleep and not worrying about how to present herself or reading various works of (non)fiction (of many genres)/psychology to study people and how they tick (bonus: became a recent internet junkie after finding greater convenience in just finding articles and blogs instantly with a simple click)

irony: she finds talking to people inconvenient and tiring but she finds it intriguing to study them in all aspects of behavioral, cultural, and social means (so she kind of has to talk with people)

certified ambivert

if she does approach to someone, it’s almost never for the reasons of “making friends;” if there is no intellectual gain nor tangible benefit from talking, then she won’t bother partaking in it

because of her recent upbringing, while she may not show it, she despises arguments and fights, so when situations escalate, she will attempt to either smoothly divert the subject elsewhere and/or trivialize the matter to a degree; if all else fails, she will simply disengage from the conversation (essentially avoiding confrontation) // note: see “background” section for context

Teiko-era Personality

pleasant and friendly, albeit shy

perfect example of a polite goody two-shoes and teachers’ pet but still respected among her classmates for her genuine cordiality

very reserved individual but at this time was slowly breaking out of her shell to try to befriend her classmates to distract her mind from thinking about her home life

post-divorce/3rd year of Teiko: see “background” section for context

*while still maintaining her amiable grace, she slowly detached herself from her acquaintances and classmates, keeping to herself a lot more while critically studying them increasingly as months went by; she began to talk with others only when it was a necessity

*(occurred during her 1st year of Touou) a few months after she graduated from Teiko, she stopped going to the gym after school to observe the first string’s practices and only went to their games for Kōzō’s sake (especially when he fell ill) // her observant skills quickly picked up, even from their games alone, that the Teiko team’s dynamics have completely changed (which she relates this revelation back to Kōzō in the hospital)

*her current personality will hit full force once she enters high school after graduating from Teiko

“Last Game” Personality

reverted mostly back to her genuine, cordial self, but is still very spontaneous in showing different aspects of her personality in different situations, although most who know her can see right through her now (unless she really wanted to fool them, she probably could)

attempts to be more honest with herself and with others, especially in trying to unpack years of compartmentalization starting from her Teiko years

if she’s caught off guard, she will definitely become a flustered tsundere type of person

a happier person now that she’s made friends to rely on (•̀ᴗ•́)و (e.g. Momoi and Sakurai)

Background/Family

her multifaceted personality stemmed from her home life, where her parents became increasingly volatile and erratic when interacting with each other before they finally divorced her 2nd year of middle school

she constantly observed how her parents would initially act romantic on some days, but on many other days, they’d either tiptoe carefully around each other during conversations or they’d immediately fight

*rather than focusing on the discord of her home, she’d observe how they’d interact with each other in every situation and how despite being the two same individuals, they both act differently with each other every time they meet, thus feeding her intrigue on how individuals act in various social settings and cues

her parents would later on (shortly before divorcing) only meet up for motives of financial discussions, decisions on who she would live with for the week, etc. and they would no longer spend time together out of sentiment and love

*this imprinted into her belief that conversations that bring mutual benefit/reward are much better than other casual interactions, since she sees that they don’t provoke the unnecessary conflict/fights like other interactions do (e.g. seeing her parents fight when they talk about anything else)

Kōzō Shirogane (her great uncle, Teiko’s ex-coach) and Eiji Shirogane (a distant relative, Rakuzan’s current coach) are both from her father’s side of the family, hence she attended Teiko on behalf of Kōzō’s request in exchange for him paying for all of her school’s expenses (he wanted to spend more time with his great niece before he fell completely ill)

she and Kōzō would often be on the upper floor to observe practices together, and she would be immersed in studying how players would interact with each other on and off of courts; he was the one that got her into watching sports games (basketball in particular)

she graduated from Teiko a year before the GoMs did but would frequently visit their practices after school with Kōzō (until he fell ill)

she took after her mother’s surname after the divorce

Kōzō Shirogane fell ill shortly after her parents’ divorce

after graduating from middle school, she lives alone in an apartment under Shirogane’s name

she is not close with her parents but goes to visit each of them separately once in a while when Kōzō makes her go see them

she sees Kōzō as more of the father figure and cares deeply for him, and as for Eiji, she respects and admires him, but she isn’t close with him

ever since Kōzō fell ill, she would visit him in the hospital biweekly and update him on highlights from critical games from middle school and later on, inter-high and winter cup

Headcanons

she is the opposite of Kuroko in which she has a huge presence; it could be because of her hair color, hair pins, the many ways she carries herself throughout the day, or all of the above

why does she wear tons of hairpins? we don’t know, but she thinks they look nice and keeps the unruly hair out (for convenience)

sports games are fun for her to watch up close IRL because she can detect/study the mental games and simulations sparking across different players without having to talk to other people at all // televised games are useless because they cut a lot footage and cameras jump around too much for her to discern anything cohesive on the players

(if she ever got to speak with them) the most interesting people for her to converse with and study would be Midorima (because of his oha asa’s obsessions), Imayoshi, Hanamiya, Akashi, Teppei, Mitobe (she can actually understand him), and Momoi (when she doesn’t fawn over Kuroko)

no one knows what to genuinely get her for her birthday, let alone knowing her actual birthday; the closest thing they know is her zodiac sign

*throughout her deduced “birthday month,” different people will approach her with different gifts with what they thought she was interested in (because of her different personas she exhibited with each person): porn mags, antiques, shopping coupons, snacks, comic gags, etc.

*she keeps her birthday on the down low to prevent any chances of people being suspicious of her character when they try to throw a party for her and realizing she has these drastic “hobbies” and “interests” with each person // plus she doesn’t see a point of having a party because she knows how these familiar acquaintances would act in this particular situation

*she’s a fan of attending other people’s parties to observe them without being in the spotlight for once

she could be considered as part of the “uncrowned” generation considering her cognitive/mental skills and deduction (and she’s the same year as them)

*she and riko could be rivals as 2nd years in that sense, along with Momoi when she becomes a 1st year

Role/Skill

if she ever joined a sports club, her critical role would be monitoring and improving cognitive (mental) acuity especially in the following brain functions of: information processing, memory storage, attention, and situational judgement (and how they all respond and handle high pressure), since she’s so keen on studying people and how they act in different situations

she would also study opponents’ levels of acuity especially during huge pressure and high stakes

she will note environmental factors as well as lifestyles on every player; home players would get the according lists of tasks to work on to improve their acuity (which may include diet changes, mental exercises, adjusted sleep schedules, etc.) on their own and get tested on set dates

*will also initially ask home players to do a quick self-survey on possible genetic factors that would affect cognitive performance as well as any prescription/drug history

during club hours, she shows a very professional, polite side that purposefully distances herself from the rest of the team, and she is initially solely there to do her job and get compensations from the coach (until eventually she stays because she actually cares for the team)

Interactions

Kuroko: (Teiko + present)

polite with each other, although both will joke with each other in such a way that others can’t really tell if a joke just passed between them or if they’re being serious

she shifts her personality to be slightly more deadpan and delivers more dry humor when she’s around Kuroko

bonus: she addresses him with the nickname “Kurokuro” with the deadpan delivery, and others don’t know whether to laugh or be concerned

she doesn’t jump from his sudden appearances; while she doesn’t detect where he pops up most of the time, when he does, she just shrugs it off casually or does the dry “ahh i’m scared” or “wahhh you scared me” with surrendering hand motions whenever people around her get a genuine jumpscare from him

Kise: (Teiko + present)

with him she becomes more expressive and mildly snickers at their jokes together

the moment his fans come though, she’ll ditch him no questions asked; their constant interrogations and verbal grillings + fangirling are inconvenient to deal with // she’ll observe their behaviors from afar and take note on fan culture though, so she wouldn’t ditch him per say

she finds the fact that Kise can switch between a serious, determined persona and a flamboyant, energetic one so quickly really intriguing to witness every single time

Kise turns to her for mundane advice because “she’s just smart,” but she finds it really annoying and often gives him vague (but still valid) answers to shoo him away

Midorima: (Teiko + present)

she talks to him the most, mostly because his oha asa obsessions and meticulous rituals and schedules are ridiculously fascinating

she takes on a more serious persona (which is easy since she’s a pretty serious-like person to begin with) and subtly challenges Midorima, poking and prodding with very well-veiled questions to uncover the bottom of his obsessions

she does study up a bit of astrology and arcana books because of Midorima // one day he caught her with an astrology book on hand, and he immediately assumed she was into horoscopes as well, to which she did not deny a thing and let him convinced himself that she was (she’s gotta do what she’s gotta do)

after that ordeal, he gave her lucky items for her sign sometimes back in the Teiko days

just two smart brains having casual conversations about school

in the present day, if Takao was there, her persona switches to the one similar to what she’d use with Kise, and both would make snide remarks about Midorima

Midorima is slightly confused in seeing a subtly different side to her but he figured it was just Takao’s antics

Aomine: (Teiko + present)

when it was the days of “Puremine,” she was a supportive character, being slightly more blunt and more outspoken

she was extremely observant of his talent, and she was one of the first people to notice that he was going to bloom in talent before anyone else while also knowing its consequences // she subtly dropped hints for Aomine to slow down his pace in practicing, playing, etc. and to take a step back from basketball, but the blue-haired boy was an idiot so he didn’t pick them up one bit ((AKASHI DID THOUGH, UH))

with current Aomine, she’s presenting a more indifferent persona while further pushing a blunter side of herself when interacting with Aomine

like Imayoshi, she’s picked up on his dilemma and inner turmoil very quickly, but she wasn’t like Momoi who was actively trying to help him // she wasn’t enthusiastic in exerting effort when she knew that what he really needed to have his conflicts resolved was a definitive showdown on the courts

she doesn’t understand the appeal of porn mags at all, but feigns interest in them especially around Aomine (when they attend Touou Academy) to figure out why are people at her age so enthralled by them; Aomine definitely thinks she’s into them and gets her mags of half naked people for her and he’s extremely smug about it (“because we’re bros together” // “you’re welcome,” as he slaps her back way too hard)

she doesn’t really hang out with Aomine in Touou, maybe sometimes after school when she finds him up in the rooftop skipping practice when she’s in the mood to study how he ticks and annoy him for certain reactions to either prove/debunk her predictions

Momoi (Teiko + present)

she takes on a “girlier” and “cutesy” personality to be more compatible with Momoi to get along with her common interests

doesn’t really hang out with Momoi during the Teiko days unless Momoi approached her first with either data analyses, questions, or pleas to come with her to either: go shopping, drag Aomine, follow around Kuroko, etc.

Momoi addresses to her as “senpai” or “chan”

(during Teiko and present) asks her questions about her “love life” with Kuroko in a way that makes Momoi think she’s someone who believes in romance and lovey dovey things (she’s quite neutral about it IRL)

when Momoi finds out they both ended up at Touou, Momoi pounces on her every chance they get and drags her around because “we’re best friends!” // she goes along with it just to see how things turn out

she ends up being Momoi’s listening ear as she rants about Aomine’s awful habits or her worries about the team

Momoi begs and pleads her to join the team and assist them in some way; she outright refused, but Momoi is also intelligent in which she comes up with new offers everyday to try to convince her

she finally agrees when Momoi asked the coach to pay her a weekly salary (poor guy, but then again he’s rich) for her work and take Momoi’s word that the addition of her would be nothing but beneficial for the team’s success

because they're both on the same team together, they both spend even more time together to do analyses on both their own team members and other schools’ players

attends Touou’s games and only watches from first row seats in the audience in order to conduct naturalistic observations on both teams; she will never be on the benches unless it’s the semi-finals onwards

Murasakibara: (Teiko + present)

there isn’t much to study on this guy; he’s as straightforward as a single-file line

she either acts more of a casual childlike persona (by calling him “Muramura” or “Sakisaki-san”) or exhibits more of a stern, serious side (e.g. the persona used with Midorima) depending on the situation/context

she definitely bribes him with snacks and food to do convenient favors (in addition to using childish nicknames), or she throws the snacks far, gives them to someone else, eats them in front of him, etc. to elicit reactions from the man-child

she knows it’s better for her own good to NOT purposely provoke the scary side of Murasakibara, but when that side does come out for other reasons, it’s showtime for her; she’s going to be observing him with hidden glee

she doesn’t talk with him after graduating from Teiko; the next time she’ll see him is during the winter cup, particularly with yosen vs. seirin // it’s another movie marathon for her just watching every players and how they interact with each other (a LITERAL showdown between Teppei and Murasakibara.... Kagami and Himuro.... Himuro and Murasakibara—yeah it’s a field day)

Akashi: (Teiko + present)

she and ore-Akashi get along swell; she is at her surface self the most when conversing with him, not having a need to adjust herself that much from her initial “polite” persona

lots of theoretical talks and hypotheses in studying people and the world; they both respect each other very much

boku-Akashi is a different story; she starts avoiding him tactfully after his other side awakens

the saying “it takes one to know one” is especially true in this case: Akashi is very much aware of her two-facedness, and she is uncomfortable at the fact of him knowing such an innermost secret about herself

at the same time, she knows about where his “other side” “disappeared” to, whereas no one else hadn’t had a clue

both know about each other’s gimmicks and personalities, and throughout the rest of their years at Teiko, it’s a bunch of mind games and careful maneuverings around each other

Akashi finds it thrilling because it’s reminiscent of shogi

she finds this stressful because what the hell please leave me alone i’m trying to avoid you

after she got over her initial anxiety of this newfound revelation of new Akashi, she carefully treads this game and takes the advantage to study how this new side of Akashi ticks

he DEFINITELY caught what she was trying to do with Aomine in dropping hints; in response, he used his role as captain to push Aomine to try harder in games

she DEFINITELY caught what he was trying to do in pushing Aomine in “motivating” him; problem was, she wasn’t going to sacrifice her effort, wellbeing, and life to go against Akashi

after graduating from Teiko, when she still used to observe their practices and games, she was still very much uneasy and tried to downplay her presence to avoid Akashi’s scrutiny (sadly, her presence is too significant) // she really wished she was a Kuroko

she was able to breathe easier once she finds out later that they’re both going to different high schools; she continues to watch more of Rakuzan’s games after finding out that’s where Akashi ended up attending to figure his dynamics with his team + basketball and then predict his current mannerisms off the courts

when ore-Akashi comes back, she’s suspicious at first, but after confirming his character in person, she’s relieved that the “old him” was back (but slightly disappointed that his other self is gone // she kind of found that side of him more interesting to observe)

he still knows how many personas she has under her disposal, but he isn’t going to snitch any time soon

GoMs together: (Teiko + present)

to not give away the fact that she shows different sides to everyone, when everyone gathers/is nearby, she (at least attempts to) becomes a wallflower to observe everyone and act appropriately in the situation if she’s ever addressed to in the group; her name will always come up in some shape or form so she’s prepared to present a neutral persona without throwing people off

since the GoMs all attend different schools, it’s easier for her to socially maneuver around, however she is still cautious when near crowds (before/after games) and groups of people (such as Touou’s team) because they tend to call her over (but she’ll smoothly pretend she didn’t hear/was preoccupied and she’ll slip away)

Haizaki: (Teiko + present)

dear god, she hoped not to ever directly interact with him

he was a morbidly interesting person to observe, from far away // she’s trying to comprehend how this one middle schooler is already so immoral and violent

he’s definitely tried to hit on her, but she smoothly slipped away before he did anything else

it was a never-ending game of weasel and snake; he fancied her because she was someone who was mysterious and “hard to get,” but she’s always slipping away because he was extremely annoying to converse with and she definitely doesn’t want to end up in a fist fight with this guy

this constant chasing was significantly quashed after Akashi ordered him to quit the team (who’s to say that Akashi hadn’t also noticed that Haizaki was trying to harass her? respect women juice)

Haizaki noticed her outside the stadium before his match with kaijo a year later; she was outside ready to enter in before he blocked her way, but after a lot of sugar coating and sidestepping to try to diffuse the situation (she fooled him by feigning interest in him using a slightly more flirtatious, sly persona), she escaped from his grasp once again // it agitated him and that’s why he continued to prowl around outside before he chanced upon Alex and Himuro

Imayoshi: (present)

this guy is an Akashi; he picked up on her multifaceted personality frighteningly fast

except that instead of being wary and observant of her like Akashi would, this guy openly makes passive-aggressive remarks referring to her personality; no one except her would understand his real intentions behind those comments (they inwardly scare and piss her off)

he also had the upperclassman advantages to openly talk to her very casually and harp on her (on the other hand, Akashi was a year younger than her), so he very much does every thing to get under her skin and rile her up

she employs a more sarcastic persona to match up with Imayoshi, but that just makes him more determine to break her facades; in the end, to keep her cool, she just settled for a default polite persona while still shooting occasional flippant responses at him

TLDR; this guy has the same hobby as she does in getting reactions out of people to study them, except Imayoshi is an actual psychic in deciphering people out; perhaps he’s even better at these things than her

Momoi unintentionally helps her out by always telling Imayoshi to “stop bothering her so much,” and all he does is a mock-surrender, replying cheerfully that it was all in good fun

he definitely makes her job harder by trying to be a smartass when she gives him instructions and lists in how to improve his mental acuity; she quickly shuts his attempts down, and he always calls her an “absolute killjoy”

while she knows it’s beneficial to observe an individual who has a similar hobby like herself to see and compare the similarities/differences, Imayoshi makes it really difficult because his keen senses plus her huge presence makes him able to pick her out most of the time

*she’s only able to safely observe him when he’s on the courts

*other times, she dutifully avoids him unless when she’s doing her job

are they friends? it’s hard to say; they act like they’re familiar with each other but it’s a love-hate relationship // she respects his intuition but she frowns on his personality (it’s the fact that he acts like he knows everything and she knows he also puts up a few “nice guy” facades of his own)

he’s probably the first guy to actually break through her personas completely and get her to snap and yell at him unabashedly one evening when they were walking to a nearby convenience store because he was tagging along (Momoi was with Aomine at the time)

*at that moment, she probably also gave Imayoshi a shock for his life for the first time outside of the games

*she coughed and went back to her polite persona like nothing happened and that just made him so much more amused

they’re frenemies and rivals, trying to outdo the other in poking each other mentally and out-acting the other

Sakurai: (present)

first impressions of this kid: she pities him a lot

sometimes, she says various things to see if he‘ll apologize just to see which trigger words get him in a sweat to say “sorry”

she’ll either be a *gentler* polite person or take on a more stern/serious side (used with Midorima and sometimes Murasakibara); the latter would be used to try to toughen the poor guy up mentally

increasing Sakurai’s cognitive acuity would be the most difficult considering the fact that (combined with Momoi’s data) there’s a direct relationship between his physical and mental stamina; if he’s extremely exhausted, his mental sharpness declines dramatically along with it

he’s not considered the sharpest tool in the shed, and his naiveté tends to show when he asks innocent questions about her and her life, and one day, this guy accidentally hit the nail on the head when he asked about her family out of curiosity, which was her touchiest subject

*she did have a moment of shock and took some time to recollect herself and deflect the subject elsewhere, but Sakurai picked her hesitance up as a sign of offense and spewed a plethora of apologies (to which she had to calm the boy down)

*from that point on, although still curious, he became a lot more observant and cautious of how she acts around other people (at first he was watching so he can learn how to not offend her and overstep his boundaries)

as time progresses (especially after their loss at the winter cup), and the more Sakurai just asks her about many things, she does loosen up around him; he does eventually bring up the topic of family (not necessarily hers, but his own) to try to encourage her to talk about her own

Sakurai would be the type of person to be uncharacteristically determined and blunt in particular situations with people whom he considers his friends: here, he would confront her and asked if she was alright and if things were going okay at home

*out of curiosity in where he got that confidence boost and respect for him being mentally stronger, she does open up slowly one topic/talk at a time spread out for the next few weeks

both of their different curiosities for each other would lead to them being close friends ´･ᴗ･` (she makes him a more self-assured person and he gives her time to be her true self [or at least develop one], and other than annoying her with his occasional sorry’s, he doesn’t overwhelm her with his presence)

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reverielix · 3 years

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Hello✨Which career do you think is right for me? I am a sociology student now and I am also very interested in psychology. Thank you so much alreadyyy ☺️

Hi! First off, I can't say what career is right for you but I can look at your earth houses and other things that might strike my eye. This is what I generally do with these requests so don't expect a certain job recommendation because I won't be providing that haha

Looking at your interceptions at first, you have Libra and Aries intercepted in the 1st and 7th houses while your Sagittarius and Gemini are duplicated on the 3rd and 4th as well as 10th and 9th house cusp. Briefly touching on that, I’ll give you some key information

You might have a lot of inhibitions and hesitate to take action/find difficulty in being assertive and proactively chasing after what you desire as you’d rather daydream, avoid confrontation and be in your little bubble same though lol When you do release that emotional build-up though, it can be that you get yourself into very reckless situations where you can get inappropriate or embarrassed, which only prompts you to keep the quality of assertion suppressed behind the bubble you created for yourself.

The other half of the interception suggests that you have difficulty developing relationships with equal “power distribution”. One might always be more demanding, more needy and more loving. In this case, I see you more as the “servant”, so the person on the giving end when it comes to power-dynamics and unbalanced relationships. People who you are in close relationships with may seek advice from you and always wring you dry of your readiness to help.

Concluding: there is a conflict between the self and relationships.

Looking at Mars and Venus, though, and seeing as Mars is even the most elevated planet in your chart, you definitely have options to “unlock” those interceptions and learn to overcome those hardships. (Just to touch on something here tat caught my eye: Venus in the 5th degree in Leo in the 5th house gives you the ultimate Leo placement lol Leo decan, Leo degree, Leo house and Leo as the sign sigsihsb wow)

Onto the duplications, the heavy Gemini and Sagittarius influence suggests a very big curiosity you have to learn and analyze new things which you then fabricate into the basis or pattern to understand other things that are foreign to you. You take what you know from home, so the speaking patterns of people around you or other behavioral observations and turn them into a blueprint to understand foreign concepts better as you probably even have a career to do with a lot of research or gaining new knowledge/learning from new experiences. You seem to be very fascinated by what you learn about, which with the Mars in that 9th house can help you "unlock" that Aries interception, since you've got that undeniable thirst for hunger that fuels motivation already strogly present within you, especially in the field of exploration and development of personal wisdom.

Looking at your 2nd house in Taurus, I also want to touch on something to do with houses in the sign of their rulership. With the rising in Libra, for comparison, there is a lot of tension between the houses and their respective sign. The extremes created by the oppositions need to be balanced by the Libra rising. But for the Aries rising, it’s about the conjunction: every sign feels too close to their house, because they’re too near to be comfortable. Here, the problem of the Aries rising is that there is no change or conflict implied within the houses, so the Aries rising seeks to approach things all the time. Aries’ natural child-like curiosity and head-first attitude can break this uncomfortable closeness and awkward harmony between the signs and the houses, but for you, since Aries is intercepted, you might have issues breaking free from this inner desire to start new things for your own growth because you’d rather live in dreamland to distract from your inner desire to catalyze process as this can be complicated for you like I already explained in the beginning of the post. Now, considering that, Taurus in the 2nd suggests that you’re good with dealing with finances and probably earn money by using your finances or doing something in the direction of finances/business administration or others in that department, but at the same time you can be very withdrawn as you dislike impatience or energetic people around you while you study or work. You’re rather secretive about where your money’s from and trust yourself rather than others with your business affairs. Putting all this information together, it can be hard for you to actually start a project or actively participate in group projects because you are always fixated on the routine, persistence and self-sufficiency personally associated with long-term success. You strive for wealth and luxury, and in your mind it could be that you’d rather do everything by yourself so that you can have all the money that you earned for yourself in order to be the only responsible one over it: you can’t be told what to do with it and can manage it by yourself as you desire control over your status and possessions. (It’s also possible that you base your worth on the materials you own, which can be considered a motivation for your probably very calculated approach to finances and desire for more.)

Leo in the 6th house shifts this picture again, but you still stay true to your self-sufficiency. In your work place, you carry over the themes of wanting to do things your way and rarely compromising. Since, instead of a trine, your 2nd and 6th house rulers are in a square-relatioship, it's possible that your working process and what you base your identity on (I feel like with that Sun in the 6th and also in its domicile, you might feel like your identity is rooted in how hard you work and how your routine looks like. You probably make your work like a big part of you and are generally very aware of changes within your routine, which mostly rub you the wrong way lol) refuse to adapt to each other. So, essentially, you work your ass off and put your whole self into the work you're very passionate about, just to then lack financial reward. This I think because Taurus is sparing with its energy and rather economical in comparison to Leo, who gives away a lot of energy and does things with a burning passion. Mercury in its domicile in Virgo in the 6th can, like the Taurus placement, mean that there needs to be some type of breaking free of that strict virgo placement. It suggests a highly head-fixated mentality with a lot of overwhelming thoughts and inhibitions of letting them out. The themes of the Aries rising continue, but this time in the work place and implied into your routine. With the conjunction to the descandant in the same degree, it's also very likely that you overthink relationships or tend to be rather logical when it comes to them/have a hard time opening up (which can be connected with your Libra interception I've mentioned earlier and fuel the conflict between the self and relationships). Finally, it's likely that you're a big perfectionist in the work place, yet have difficulties communicating your visions to co-workers, which then leads to you just doing it all yourself.

Onto your empty 10th house in Sagittarius, it adds a want for exploration and natural curiosity to your career path and demands adaptation. Since almost all of it is in Capricorn though, I would go as far as to say that it suggests, again, a pattern to break free from because, like many placements in your chart, this placement is too “strictly” one sign with the corresponding house/planet/degree. Too much of the same thing is not preferable and can lead to problems, especially bundled up. With Capricorn and Sagittarius in the 10th, especially in the context of your chart, it can be that you look out too much for outer sources of exploration or other’s opinions on you when it comes to your work and career path. You want to reach many, but harm your own work in the process, because essentially what you need for receiving your desired material status is right there in the 2nd house with Taurus + the Aries interception. Allow yourself to be selfish and act out of your own wants and needs as you work toward your goal and plan the next step ahead.

You might also want to refrain to giving in to others’ expectations or making others do that for you as well. Be selfish on your own account and for your own goals, but when it comes to others, you can’t expect them to do things exactly your way. Accept help when you are in need but also don’t become too needy, same thing goes for others: don’t let them become too demanding and work on cutting clear lines and boundaries (coming back to Pisces/Virgo opposition and the heavily illuminated 6th house/Mercury/Virgo + the Pisces ascendant that rules the Aries interception).

The key is to form a healthy relationship between the self and the perception of it (looking at the sun and 5th house) and others and their needs (Venus is worth it to look at here and keep in mind that Leo can have a lot of self-esteem issues along with giving too much and expecting that in return, seeing as the archetype of Leo does not correspond with modern society’s stereotypes).

I hope this was insightful and can add perspective to your chart in hindsight to career as well as the reoccurring issue of the self vs relationships. Please note that this post is narrowed down to small parts of your chart and would look different if I were to interpreted the whole thing, which I won’t lol

Anyway, have a nice day and stay hydrated!

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spidercakes · 4 years

Text

Have a starker serial killer AU featuring dark!Tony/Peter.

Warnings: murder (obviously), vague descriptions of violence, unhealthy relationships (also obviously- don’t date serial killers), mentions of domestic violence.

Tony feels bad for Peter and, in his defense, Tony is stellar at being charming. Its amazing what he can get away with because people find him attractive and witty and that’s when he’s not trying. When he is, well. It wasn’t all that difficult to make Peter fall in love with him when he was starved for positive attention and Tony feels... well, something for him. He’s not sure he feels things exactly right, but he does know he feels. Psychologically he has no idea what that means but he also doesn't put a lot of faith into the field of study. Too easy to convince people they’ve seen what they wanted to instead of what’s actually there. The problems with trying to observe people’s behavior when you’re limited by the same things your subjects are, he supposes.

Peter, for his part, doesn’t look nearly as freaked out as Tony thought he would. He looks more like he’s in shock and Tony dislikes this stage in normal feeling, where the situation hasn’t sunk in yet. The closest he’s ever felt to that was when his parents died and even then he’s not sure if it was his mother’s loss or the drinking that did that. The downside is that he knows this is going to lead to an emotional outburst of some sort later and what that means for him will depend on how Peter loses it.

“How... you did that so easily,” he says and Tony is aware of how smart Peter is. He didn’t just kill Quentin easily, he did it with experience and Peter hardly needs to be a murder expert to know that.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” he tells Peter. He knows how much he hates stupid questions because, contrary to popular belief, there are stupid questions. He dislikes when people ask a question not because they don’t know the answer, but because they do and they don’t want to admit it out loud. Peter is aware of that too.

Peter looks down at Quentin, dead and bloody, at Tony’s feet, and then he looks to Tony’s hands. He’s still holding the knife. No need to set it down somewhere and leave more evidence for himself to clean up, and he knows Peter won’t miss the fact that he’s wearing a glove on one hand- the one holding the knife. Suggests premeditation and he wouldn’t be wrong. Tony heard them arguing and he knows Peter’s history, he’s had more than one run in with Quentin himself but Tony never told Peter about that. Quentin isn’t stupid either, he sensed pretty much immediately that whatever kind of fucked up he was Tony was about a hundred times worse, and he happened to be a hell of a lot more controlled. He’s certain the fact that he’d only tried to intimidate Tony twice, both times resulting in him being deeply unsettled, was due to him coming to the correct conclusion that if he decided to push it he wouldn’t be the one walking away.

So when he’d heard Quentin in the house he knew he purposefully chose to target Peter when he’d be alone and that didn’t sit right with him. And if he was determined enough to risk Tony finding out about it this was probably the kind of escalation that would result in Peter getting hurt or worse to he’d made a decision. It wasn’t even difficult to kill Quentin, he’d never even seen Tony coming and the knife was duller than Tony would have liked it but it cut his throat just fine. The mess will be a bitch to deal with but he’s gotten good at cleaning up his mistakes so even that won’t be an issue.

“But wh- how- why?” Peter settles on.

Tony snorts because that’s easy. “Was he not about to attack you?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

Its definitely not a proper reaction to his actions but he’s not about to deal with denial, Peter saw what he saw and he needs to process it and figure it out so Tony can plan how to deal with this. Peter looks back down at Quentin and at least he hasn’t screamed, not that it would matter. No one would hear him with so much land between him and his neighbors but it’d be unpleasant to deal with. “He isn’t the first person you’ve killed,” Peter states, not asks.

That’s the only reason Tony confirms it, “don’t ask for a body count, I won't give one to you.” The less he knows the better. When Tony gets caught, and it is a when, not an if, then it’d be helpful if Peter didn’t actually know much. Makes it easier for him to lie. Assuming he sticks around that long.

“You’ll kill someone in front of me but you won’t tell me how many people you’ve killed? Enough to be good at it,” Peter says, giving Quentin another horrified look. God, its like he’s watched a train wreck and he can’t look away or at least that’s how Rhodey describes looking at wounds. Tony mostly thinks its kind of gross because the blood gets all over and he doesn’t know what kind of shit that person might have. He doesn’t want to find out by getting some disease either. But he doubts that’s what Peter’s immediate thoughts are.

“Why would I give you details to more than just the crime I committed in front of you? Seems pretty stupid,” he points out, “given that you already know too much.” Peter seems to realize that late and his go wide, “if I wanted you dead, you would be. You saw how easy it was to kill him,” Tony says, guiding Peter along a little helpfully. Sure he wants a specific result here, but ultimately how this goes is up to Peter.

The fact that he relaxes is a good sign. The fact that it doesn’t last long isn’t. “Why haven’t you killed me?” he asks.

He wants to tell Peter not to ask stupid questions again but in his defense he just watched Tony kill his ex in cold blood. “I’ve never lied to you about how I feel, none of that was made up. I’m not that good of a liar,” he admits. He has a tendency to overdo it and every time he takes a step too far he realizes it too late.

Which Peter doesn’t believe if the look on his face is any indication. “You’re clearly very talented at lying,” he points out. “Because I would have never seen this coming.”

“No one sees dating a serial killer coming, Peter,” Tony says, giving him a look. “And the trick to a good lie is to avoid ever lying at all. The more you do it the more details you need to cover your ass long term and the more tedious it becomes. Tell the truth and the details don’t run the risk of changing because you’re not making things up as you go along. And there is no way I am capable of just faking an entire relationship. Believe me, I’m a terrible actor.”

Its landed him in trouble a few times but he’s smart, far smarter than most of the people around him and he’s thankful for it otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten out of as much as he has. Not, he thinks, that it’s going to come in handy now because he can’t think of a clever way to get himself out of a relationship crisis with a dead body at his feet. At least Peter isn’t in the splash zone, that would have made clean up a little messier.

Peter laughs a little, “pretty sure you’re wrong about that.”

Tony frowns, “then why wouldn’t I have just acted shocked and appalled at what I’d done and told you I was good at it because I’m a genius- I could have done the math on the angles I’d need to cut his throat at and the amount of pressure I’d need to do it that fast, you know that. Would have been an easier way out of this than all but telling you I kill people for funsies in my spare time.”

Its also a massive lie that requires a ton of acting and a huge amount of upkeep if he were to tell it, which is what he just told Peter he likes to avoid so he’s hoping he’ll put that together. That isn’t the kind of lie Tony can maintain for any length of time so he wasn’t about to try it- he’s good at not getting caught because he knows his limitations. He knows the laws he needs to in and out, he knows the science behind how to get rid of a body and all the cleanup methods he needs to know, but he’s shit at making things up. Actually, he’s pretty shit with people as a whole if he has to deal with them on a long term basis and that’s why he has so few friends. And one of them lives half way around the world from him permanently, which makes things easier.

The draw of Peter is that it never felt like work to feel things around him, he seems to naturally pull it out of Tony. That, and he genuinely likes spending time in Peter’s company and that’s rare. Even Rhodey knew something was up and they only talk on the phone a couple times a week. Peter, if he chooses to believe him, will have to see that.

Instead of giving Tony something, anything, to go on he blinks a few times rapidly before he sighs. “I need some time,” he murmurs.

Methodical might be the best way to describe his actions and by now he’s keenly aware that Peter is... curious. When he said he’d need time Tony didn’t think he’d stick around to watch the clean up even if he hasn’t moved from the living room. Probably best that he didn’t follow Tony into the garage anyway, and technically it gave him space to think.

But he’s back now, tearing up his carpet and he’s kind of pissed he’ll have to replace it. If Quentin would have just minded his own business like Tony told him to he would have a living room carpet. “You didn’t hesitate,” Peter says softly and Tony looks up. He probably looks ridiculous to Peter considering the protective gear but he’s not tracking more evidence around not wearing it.

“Didn’t need to,” Tony tells him. He knew what he was doing, he’s killed someone like that before and he also didn’t have the time to hesitate.

“I don’t think he even knew you were there,” Peter says, looking a mix of confused and haunted.

“Ideally they don’t.” Doesn’t always work out that way and Tony has learned what to do when he fucks something up.

“And you killed him for me?” Peter asks.

Its a question Tony doesn’t expect and its not one he has a ready answer to. He frowns, straightening up for a moment because he’s not totally sure. No, he is actually, its just that he didn’t realize it until now. “Yes. Yeah, I think I did,” he says, returning to his work.

Peter returns to silence, frowning now as he continues to watch Tony work. He leaves Peter to it, more concerned with the amount of blood he’s going to have to clean up.

Tony looks over the living room and decides its fit enough to leave. There shouldn’t be anything left behind and Peter seems to be surprised from his spot in the hallway. “Are you always this thorough?”

“I’d have been caught by now if I wasn’t,” Tony says. Peter wanders in, casting a suspicious look around but there’s no evidence of a murder here. Well, there is, but finding it would be a pain in the ass now and the cops would need to know exactly what they’re looking for. He’s learned murder scenes are a little like technology- its not often you can cover your ass totally and completely, but you can make it difficult for people to find what they’re looking for.

“Will you tell me how long you’ve been doing this?” Peter asks. He looks more comfortable now and Tony is unsure what to make of that, if anything. He knows people react in weird and extremely varied ways.

“Since I was 17,” he says. Peter seems surprised by that and Tony figures he should be. That didn’t feel young to him then, but it does now. It took him some time to do it again though, not that Peter knows that. He’s pretty sure it was the death of his parents that made him that ballsy to begin with.

He nods though, taking another step closer. “I keep ending up with people like you,” he says and Tony makes a noise of offense.

“I had nothing in common with that filth,” he says, defensive.

Peter frowns, “you kill people but you’re judging Quent?”

Tony rolls his eyes, “there are people in this world that deserve to die, no one deserves domestic violence.” That isn’t even close to the same, Peter has to realize that. Hell, even the state understands that murder is necessary- why else have a death penalty? Or soldiers ready to kill for you, at that. There aren’t reasons why hitting your spouse is fine, there are no exceptions to the rule.

“This is a moral thing?” Peter asks, head tilted to the side.

“Of course it is. I might be reprehensible but I’m not like that.” He’s not like his father. Sure, he and Howard are both monsters of some kind but they aren’t the same breed and Tony has learned to take pride in that.

“Maybe you are bad at lying,” Peter murmurs, frowning as he looks at him.

“Which I told you,” Tony points out.

Peter sighs. “Fine, I keep ending up with people who are... damaged. Beyond repair kind of damaged and I thought maybe it was something about me. Then I spent a lot of time denying it but I think I was right,” he says, shaking his head.

Tony tilts his head to the side, “yeah, how so? Because you don’t seem damaged beyond repair to me.” If anything he feels so untouched by the world, so bright and optimistic. Funny, too. In his experience that’s not how damaged acts.

“Not like that. I mean I... guess I have a dark side too,” he says and oh, oh. Tony recognizes that look, he’s seen it in the mirror a million times and worked hard on learning to hide it. And, he realizes, its not the first time he’s seen it either. Maybe that’s why he’d been so drawn to Peter, why things felt so easy with him. He wouldn’t have to act so much around someone like himself.

He smiles a little, “can’t say I saw that coming.”

Peter grins too, “I know. You really are a shitty lair,” he says as he steps into Tony’s arms. “Teach me how to kill like that?”

#starker #tony stark x peter parker #serial killer au #starker serial killers #alternate universe

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erin-bo-berin · 4 years

Text

Darkest Storms & Brightest Rainbows (Part 1)

MASTERLIST

Part 2

Part 3

Hard Love (unoffical part 4)

Finally, the first part of my “Cat fic” is here! I kept some lines and plot lines from the show, but I also added some different elements. For example, there’s a lot of scenes/references from Entropy and Date Night later on, but I didn’t include much from Red Light. You’ll soon see why.

I began this at the end of last year and didn’t think it would see the light of day as it wasn’t going anywhere. But after some inspiration, I finally finished it. I decided to break it into three parts in honor of the three Cat episodes. Besides, if I had wrote one long fic it would’ve probably been around 15k words. Anyway, this way I can leave you guys hanging in suspense for a little bit (mwhaha 😏). Lastly, I just wanted to say I chose this title for this 3-parter because the characters go through some dark storms but also experience some bright rainbows along the way throughout this story. Enough of my rambling, I hope you all enjoy. 🥰

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (part 1 only has some angst)

Word Count: 4,143

It’s truly fascinating how one small drop can create a ripple in the water.

That was what meeting Spencer Reid was like.

It was a typical day at work at the coffee shop you’d been employed at for almost a year. Life had slowly been getting somewhat back to normal for you. It had been a hard previous year when you lost both parents to a car crash. Living alone was difficult, but you were making it work.

It was like a breath of fresh air to find work in a DC neighborhood cafe. You loved being able to form relationships with some frequent customers and hear about their days; it was surprisingly very cathartic to connect with so many people after feeling so much loss.

There had been a small breather between waves of numerous customers when he had first appeared at your counter for a coffee.

His order was just as unique as he was; coffee with whole milk and a little bit of honey.

He was cute. He was really cute.

His shaggy brown hair was probably just a touch too long and in need of a cut, but his loose curls made it work and it looked good on him. He had light eyes that would shift from green to brown, depending on how the sun shone through the window next to the counter and a smile so bright it rivaled the sun’s rays.

Something else you’d noticed, he was tall. Possibly 6 feet, if you were to guess. With a lean frame and a slight shyness about him, you were instantly intrigued.

You saw him more often, never managing to get his name, but managing to pick up the tiniest details about him.

There was a slight cleft to his chin, a shadow of a feature that was dominant in some others, but only was fully shown on him at certain angles.

The same went for the chameleon like dimples he sported, only showing up now and then. Every time, they made your stomach flutter, just about as much as he did.

He had a smattering of freckles that you could mainly see only up close. Not the usual freckles that would be across the bridge of the nose and cheeks on an average person, but random ones. A few under the outer corner of one eye, a lone one on the far side of his forehead, one on the side of his cheek, just along his cheekbone, another larger one on the opposite side just underneath his earlobe, plus many more tiny ones scattered everywhere.

Everything about him was unique.

His hands were large and gentle, always carefully handing you money for his drink and taking his order from you.

He was sweet and always polite, asking you how your day was going, wishing you a good day when he left.

He also had these small habits of licking his lips or squinting his eyes just the tiniest bit, without even being aware of the actions.

It was actually a bit pathetic how much you’d learned about this stranger yet couldn’t even muster up the courage to ask for his name.

It was one day, maybe six months after you’d first met the handsome stranger when you decided to take a chance.

He’d come in bright and early before 8 am dressed in gray dress pants, a purple dress shirt rolled up to his elbows and a two toned purple tie. Slung across his body and resting on his hip was his usual tan satchel that you’d seen him with every day. You didn’t even have a clue what his job was.

“Morning,” he greeted with a bright smile.

You greeted him back, automatically reaching for his coffee that’d you’d been in the midst of preparing.

“Large coffee, whole milk and honey?”

“As always,” he chuckled.

Unlike other larger chains, it wasn’t a normal thing to label a person’s drink with their name, so it wasn’t easy to find out his name; hence why you still hadn’t learned it.

You were fastening the lid, about to hand it to him when you asked.

“Um, just out of curiosity, who would this coffee be labeled for?”

The minute the words were out of your mouth you wanted to take them back. It sounded so awkward and weird. Labeled for? You wanted to hit yourself.

A small smile tugged on his lips.

“Spencer. Nice to meet you—” he paused, waiting for you to fill in with your name.

“Y/N.”

He took his drink, turning to leave before pausing.

“Have a great day, Y/N.”

Less than a month later, you’d gone on your first date with Spencer.

•

Three years later, life looked a lot different.

You no longer worked at the coffee shop, but now worked from home. It took a little time, but you eventually found out you had a passion for being a social media manager for different brands. You loved social media and posting content for brands was rather fun.

You and Spencer had hit it off during that first date, considering you’d been dating for almost three years now.

As much as you missed your previous work family, you had a big new family that you’d come to be an (unofficial) part of, within these last few years.

You had finally found out after a few dates that Spencer worked for the FBI in a unit called the Behavioral Analysis Unit as a profiler; a position that uses an art of studying behavior and a lot of psychology to catch killers. It was interesting, but dangerous work. It did come with some good things though, like a work family that was like a real family. You, too, had grown close to his team members through the last few years. They were like the family you had desperately needed since your parents’ passing.

It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows in the BAU between the long hours and dangerous cases, but you were always there for Spencer. You were so proud of him and impressed by how good he was at his job; you were also proud to call him your boyfriend.

Recently, the BAU was dealing with a group of assassins, some that were hired through the deepest parts of the dark web. It had begun with one hit man that specialized in making his hits look like accidents. He had been seeking revenge on his customers and that led to the BAU discovering that there were a whole network of hitmen, each known for their own method of killing.

There was a chemist.

A sniper.

A bomber.

And the deadliest of them all, Ms. .45.

A black widow, Spencer called her.

She’d been the only one to evade capture and Spencer was going to be the one to lure her out.

You were freaked, to put it mildly. Just from what Spencer had told you about this woman, you knew dangerous didn’t even begin to describe her.

Unlike her former “co-workers”, she liked to be up close and personal with her targets. She played her games and when she was done, she’d shoot them without a morsel of guilt to drag her conscious down.

“Spencer, I really don’t think you should do this.”

You were sitting on the bed, watching him loosen his tie as he simultaneously told you about this case and changed out of his work clothes.

“Y/N, it’s better if I do it,” he said, turning to face you, his tie now hanging undone around his neck.

“Why you though?”

It wasn’t often that you argued and you couldn’t exactly count this as a fight, but you both definitely stood on opposite sides of this matter.

“I’m the closest to her age on the team. If anything goes wrong, she’ll be most likely to negotiate with a peer.”

“But Spencer,” you frowned, “I don’t like the sound of how dangerous she is. If she believes that you’re a client, she could kill you.”

“We aren’t going to let it get that far,” he assured, sitting down on the side of the bed, next to you.

“I just worry about you, always being in dangerous situations. I know it’s just a part of dating someone who works in your profession, but what if something happens to you?”

You can’t help the tiny crack of emotion in your voice and he pulls you into his arms.

“Nothing will happen to me, okay?”

You nodded into his chest and he pulled back, frowning at you.

“I don’t like to see you sad. I want to see that pretty smile of yours.”

His fingers tickled your side and you tried to hold back the laugh bubbling in your throat. You were extremely ticklish and he only ever used that against you at a time like this.

“Stop,” you squealed, trying to wriggle away from his touch, but he kept tickling you.

“Nope, not a chance,” he grinned.

You fell back on the bed, laughing and squirming as he continued his tickle torture.

“There we go,” he smiled, satisfied, “There’s that smile.”

You grinned more shyly as he cupped your face with his hand and kissed you gently.

“Just be safe, okay?”

“Always.”

He kissed you again, his lips parting from yours to trail down your jaw to your neck.

“Is this your way of distracting me?” you chuckled.

“Hmm, maybe,” he smirked.

“No complaints from this corner.”

His lips returned to yours, kissing you with such intensity, it left you breathless for a moment. Your lips moved with his, your hands tangled in his hair.

The rest of the evening was spent doing nothing other than a little fooling around.

•

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Garcia asked.

On the screen of her computer you saw Spencer entering the restaurant and speaking to the hostess before being seated.

“I’m sure,” came a moment later.

“We’ll protect him Y/N.”

This statement came from Aaron Hotchner—Hotch for short—, Spencer’s boss. You were grateful that Hotch had even let you be here, yet still the dread twisted in your stomach.

Garcia had hacked into the cameras to allow you three to see what was going on during this take down. Spencer sat facing the camera.

Only moments after he’d been seated at the table did a petite woman walk up.

She was slim with a short, angled cut. Her dark hair seemed to be in perfect place, just like the fake smile she was showing. She was dressed in a form fitting teal, sleeveless dress. The bottom was embellished in some sort of sparkling beads or perhaps rhinestones. She looked harmless enough, but you knew better. Looks could be very deceiving.

“Reid, we have you over her left shoulder. Do you copy?”

You watch as your boyfriend briefly glances straight towards the camera and taps a quick, stealthy answer on the table, with two fingers.

“I already hate her,” you glowered at the screen, watching as her hand lingered on his arm, seduction written all over her face.

“Put the claws away tiger,” Penelope muttered.

“So, how far along is your wife?” the hit woman you now know was named Cat, asked.

You watch Spencer swallow nervously, playing the part of an apprehensive first time customer.

“A few months. Do you, uh mind if we don’t talk about her?”

Cat was quiet for a moment. You can’t see her face, but somehow you just know she’s studying him.

“Let me see your ring.”

He furrowed his brows, but took it off handing it to her.

“You say you’ve been married for four years, right Spencer?” She studies the band, turning it over in her hand.

“Yeah.”

“For a 24 karat ring, it sure looks rather cheap. Apparently she loves you as much as you love her,” she tossed the ring on the table with a clank.

“Also, if it were four years old, it’d look more worn, don’t you think?”

You hear a click over the audio. It sounded suspiciously like a gun cocking and your eyes widened in horror.

Penelope gasped.

“Is that what I think it was?”

“Yes,” Hotch answered her, “She knows.”

“You’re not married Spencer.” Her gun was pointing at him under the table, unbeknownst to the other diners in the restaurant.

“And guess what? I didn’t walk into your trap. You walked into mine.”

“Oh no,” Penelope breathed.

“I’ve got a gun pointed at your crotch right now, Spencer. What’s to stop me from taking you and the little ones out right now? It’d be such a shame; doesn’t Y/N want kids?”

“Hotch,” you growled, “He didn’t sign up for this.”

“He knows what he’s doing. Let him handle this. If it truly becomes a dire situation, we have backup in there with him.”

You pick at your nails, tuning back into Spencer and Cat’s conversation.

He ignored her remark, continuing to stare her down.

“You honestly think I’m dumb enough to waltz in here thinking you’re just another deadbeat asshole that’s tired of his wife? I know way more than you think I do. The BAU is the only one that got this close to us. But I’m still the only one left,” she smirked.

“Doesn’t mean anything. I’m good at what I do,” Spencer retorted.

“Tell me. Are you this cocky with Y/N?”

Your eyes narrowed, glaring at the screen.

“I’d love to shove my foot right up her-”

“Y/N,” Hotch chided.

“Sorry.”

She’d scooted around the booth closer to him, her hand sliding into his suit jacket and down his button down shirt. You couldn’t clearly see what she was doing, but you got the general idea. He jumped when her hand brushed his crotch before reaching into the waist of his pants, pulling out his gun with a smirk.

“So tell me, did you actually knock her up or was that just part of your cover? I mean unless you’re here to put a hit on her which is totally fine by me. I’m not one for commitment either.”

“You leave her out of this,” he growled, glaring at her.

“I bet you’re wondering how I know about her, right? Probably the same way I know that Blondie over there is part of your team, just waiting to take me down. Am I right?”

Spencer stayed quiet, his gaze hard on her.

“Do me a favor and tell her to take a hike will you?”

“Stand down,” Hotch says from next to you. You know enough about the plan to know that the entire team can hear messages from him here at the BAU.

You watched as JJ set the drink she’d been sipping on, down on the bar. She’d dressed in leather pants, a low cut black top with a quarter length sleeved, maroon fur jacket over it to appear as just another fancy dinner guest. She passed their table before disappearing into the kitchen.

“Thanks for playing, sweetie,” Cat smiled at her disappearing form.

“Now, tell me more about yourself Spencer. Why don’t you?”

Cat rested her chin in her hand and watched him, her gun laying by her side where she could have easy access to it.

“Don’t you already know all about me?”

“True,” she made a face, “Then tell me all about me.”

“Well, for one, you’re quite loquacious.”

“I’m gonna pretend that means sexy,” she grinned flirtatiously.

“Gag me with a spoon,” you mumbled.

“Now, like I said,” Cat continued, “Tell me about me.”

“You’re a psychopath that runs a different course than the rest of your fellow hit men. You like to be up close and personal, watch men lie and try to seduce them all before turning on them and killing them. Which in itself speaks to many deep rooted issues.”

“Is that your way of saying I’m just another woman with daddy issues?”

“You said it, not me.”

“So, how exactly did you find me?” She rested her chin on her laced fingers and cocked her head at him.

“Does it matter?”

“Of course.”

“Fine. It all started unraveling when we first took down what we thought was a lone hit man. One who specified in making hits look like accidents.”

You can hear Spencer still talking through the monitor as you paced back and forth behind Hotch and Garcia, your nerves getting the best of you.

You jump when you hear loud feedback from the mic.

“What was that?”

“She muffled the mic. We lost audio,” Penelope grimaced.

On the screen, you can see Cat’s hand on his tie, thumb over the microphone, her mouth moving as she says something to Spencer. He turns in the direction where Rossi was slyly approaching their table.

With a few words that were unheard to the three of you, Rossi backed off, heading towards the kitchen.

“She caught on to Dave being there too,” Hotch mumbled.

“Hotch, this is not going as you planned, is it?”

Your question remained unanswered and by the way his posture remained rigid you knew you were right. That did little to reassure you.

“Entropy reigns supreme in this whole situation,” you grumbled.

You looked over and saw Hotch and Garcia staring at you quizzically.

“What? Isn’t another definition for that, lack of order or predictability or gradual decline into disorder?”

Hotch arched an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe I used it wrong. I’ve heard Spencer use it before. This is why he’s the genius and not me.”

Nothing else was said on the matter as you three’s attention was turned back to the screen where Cat was talking to Spencer again.

“I’ll let that slide considering I learned something important about you.”

“What’s that?” Spencer questioned.

“Your backup. I’ve flushed them out. It’s just you and me now.”

“Guess again, bitch,” you mumbled.

You knew, as well as the rest of the team, that Tara and Morgan were still in there.

“I know you’re stalling, but why?”

“Cause I know there has to be a pretty impressive crowd of agents out front, just waiting to take me down.”

“You’d be correct,” Spencer deadpanned.

“Which is why you’re going to walk me out of here. I get away with no issues and no one gets hurt. If not,” she paused.

She ran her fingertips over the gun that she’d moved to the table, just in his line of sight.

“I have a fully loaded gun that can do quite some damage.”

“You won’t do it though,” he challenged.

“Oh wouldn’t I?”

“No because shooting up a restaurant isn’t your style. You’re more calculated than that. You like less mess, more mind games.”

“So you do understand me, Spencer,” she smirked, “Then you’d understand that I need you to call off all the FBI agents so I can leave quietly.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Spencer shrugged, not breaking his eye contact from her, “I’m not letting you walk out of here if I have to hold you down myself.”

“Would you hold me down and leave bruises that wouldn’t go away?” she purred.

“Is that what you want?”

“I bet that’s what Y/N wants,” Garcia mumbled.

You opened your mouth to respond, not sure if she meant you doing bodily harm to Cat or your wanting Spencer to do that to you.

“Focus,” Hotch reprimanded.

“No, I want the agents cleared.” Her hand tightened on her piece.

“Everyone stand down,” Hotch ordered, “We let her walk. Reid let her go.”

“Well?” Cat pressed.

You saw him bite his lip, clearly trying to make up his mind what to do.

“Reid. Let her go.”

“Spencer?”

Cat was getting annoyed, that much you could tell and you knew she was definitely a person you didn’t piss off.

“Fine, you can go.”

She gathered her things, standing up to leave.

“But you won’t,” Spencer said.

She turned, gazing at him.

“Excuse me?”

“I found your father,” Spencer challenged.

“Reid, what are you doing?” Hotch asked, glancing at Garcia who just shrugged in response.

“Spencer, no,” you whispered, anxiety flooding your senses.

He was playing with fire and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to get burned.

“Tell me where he is,” Cat demanded.

“Sit down and I will.”

You glance at the two next to you.

“This wasn’t part of the plan, was it?”

“No,” came the terse answer from Hotch.

You see her sit once again across from Spencer.

“To prepare for tonight, I had to do my research on you,” he started.

“Is that so?”

“Lewis, Morgan, try to clear out the restaurant as subtly as possible. If this goes wrong, she could start shooting. I don’t want any injuries on my conscience tonight,” Hotch commanded.

You didn’t see their movement on the screen, but within a few minutes there were more than the normal amount of waiters moving along the tables.

“I found your father Cat,” Spencer continued, in effort to distract her.

“You’re lying.”

“Does it look like I’m lying?”

“No, but I know you are because I never mentioned that I found him myself. He’s been dead for years, Spencer.”

You saw her reach for her gun at the exact moment a commotion towards the front of the restaurant broke out. You couldn’t see on screen what was happening, but it was all the distraction she needed.

Hotch was barking orders and you heard Spencer shouting something to Morgan.

It was later you found out that against Lewis and Morgan’s wishes, someone—most likely a waiter—had started freaking out. Whether that caused the following events to happen or not you would never know, but it sure didn’t help them either.

“Oh my god,” Penelope gasped.

Your eyes were glued to the screen and the horrible events that were beginning to unfold.

Cat had Spencer by the arm and her gun was pointed directly at him. She had him in her claws and she wasn’t about to let him go without a fight.

“Get everyone out of here!” Spencer hollered.

You heard the rest of the people fleeing the dining room, Tara aiding them, but you didn’t take your eyes off of Cat and Spencer.

“Well lookie here,” she grinned up at Spencer, “Back where we started. You and me and a gun.”

“We can talk this out,” Morgan said, slowly approaching, his gun still aimed Cat's way.

“I don’t know Agent Morgan,” she smirked, “I don’t like liars. How do I know that Spencer is true to his word? He’s already lied once.”

“Let him go and we’ll talk,” Morgan said.

“It’s too late for that.”

A loud crash came from the front of the restaurant. Distraction number two. You couldn’t tell if it had been planned by Cat or not, either way, it was her perfect moment to strike.

Multiple gunshots sounded.

Time slowed down.

Penelope cried out.

Hotch cursed.

You fell to your knees.

In a split second Cat had shot Spencer and he went down, bright red blood beginning to stain his dress shirt.

Shots were fired from Morgan’s gun. Tara went running after Cat, Morgan went running to Spencer’s side.

There was commotion on the screen. Tara came back in from the direction of the kitchen where Cat had run. Luck must have been on her side because she had disappeared into the night.

Everything changed in one quick moment.

Spencer had been shot and Cat had gotten away.

•

You had no memory of how you’d managed to get from the BAU to the hospital, but here you were, fidgeting in a chair, tears streaming down your face. You hadn’t even had a chance to see him before you got to the hospital and you were wracked with worry with how he was.

The last thing you remembered was falling to the floor, your head feeling woozy as you tried to process what was unfolding before your eyes.

Spencer had been rushed into emergency surgery and you waited anxiously with the rest of the team in the waiting room. You were positive you hadn’t stopped shaking since you heard the gun go off.

The awful sound rang in your ears and every time you closed your eyes, all you could see was Spencer falling to the ground, blood soaking his shirt.

You looked up when you heard the click of heels and saw JJ coming back with an update on Spencer. The look on her face sent a feeling of cold, icy, fear through your body.

“He didn’t make it,” she whispered.

A buzzing sound rang in your ears and you were sure you’d heard wrong.

“What?” you croaked.

“Spencer’s gone,” she choked out.

The guttural sobs that came from deep within you didn’t even sound human. Your anger and your pain melted into one.

Cat Adams would pay for this.

Tag List: @dreatine @reid-187 @groovyreid @reidslibra @suvikamahes98blr @fuckthealarm @whatspunispun @iamburdened @cindywayne @thomasfoockinshelby @tinyminy88 @theitcaramelchick @missprettyboy @hushlilbabydoll @sammy-jo1977 @theonlyone-meeeee @haileymorelikestupid @lemonypink @multifandommandy

#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid gifs #Spencer Reid fic #spencer reid smut #dr spencer reid fic #dr spencer reid gifs #dr spencer reid smut #cat adams #spencer and cat #Criminal Minds #criminal minds gifs #criminal minds fic #criminal minds smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you

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talesofsadhuman · 4 years

Text

words left unsaid: social media au- get to know the characters!!

Reader- grad student (bio) but has to take an english class bc it is a req, and hates it bc she can’t write a paper to save her life. Maybe with a cute professor, she’ll actually try. Works in a lab under Alexander Pierce (he is her grad advisor/supervisor) and also teaches a human anatomy class. Lives with Wanda, Nat, and MJ; loves them to pieces. Likes to bake when stressed out and to destress. Super allergic to dogs and cats but still loves them. If this is how I go, THIS IS HOW I GO. Also, Harry Styles’ #1 fan. Don’t ask.

Nat- grad student (legal studies) why don’t you just got to law school? Because there’s more to this system than to just being a lawyer. does want to be judge just so she can have a gavel. Loves her housemates, esp reader bc she is a cinnamon roll. Has history w buck but they ended on good terms and likes to make him uncomfortable sometimes. Is not ready to settle down and dates a lot but don’t judge her. That’s her job.

Bucky- prof (English) likes books, not people. Is best friends with Steve and Sam although he acts like he loathes Sam. Writes on his spare time. Became a professor bc he didn’t know what else to do with an English degree but wants to do more. Lives with Steve. Has a cute lil cat that he takes with him to class. Not sure if students like him or his cat. Nerds out to Star Wars.

Steve- prof (biochemistry) wins trivia all the time bc he knows so much. Nerd. Best friends with Sam and Buck. Tolerates Tony. Loathes Clint. Voted hottest professor on campus by undergrad girls. Saw the poll. Voted for Bucky, Sam was pissed. He works in a lab near reader so they always see eachother. She goes to his lab one day asking for some material and they strike up a platonic friendship. Will sometimes not go home because he is stuck in his lab.

Tony- professor (electrical engineering and computer science) teaches notoriously difficult class and tortures students all year but passes all of them at the end. Babysitter of clown trio (Bucky, Sam, and Steve). Is happily married to Pepper Potts and has an adorable daughter, Morgan. He befriends undergrad sophomore, Peter, and they tinker with stuff together. Unofficially takes reader under his wing as he helps her create a code to make lab life easier.

Sam- prof (physics) also teaches one of the most difficult classes on campus but is great at teaching it, and is loved by students. Best friends with Steve and Bucky although he’s always fighting with Bucky. Believes he’s the cutest of clown trio and not not down for engaging in shenanigans. Lives with Clint but spends a lot of time at Steve and Bucky’s place. Always drags the boys to bars and events to get them to socialize. Is an enabler.

Wanda- grad student (behavioral psychology) got into psych bc she’s into serial killers. Oddly enough, so are many of her peers. Analyzes her friends’ behavior and calls them out. They love/hate her for it. She’s an instructor for an intro to psych class and also interns at a clinic. Got into behavioral psychology bc she wants to be a behavior analyst. Although she is p responsible, she is an enabler and seeks to provide her friends w cheap thrills

Peter- undergrad student (Computer Science) looks up to Tony and is a giant nerd. He befriend Tony and they tinker together. Volunteers at an animal shelter; sometimes fosters pups and cats. In love with MJ. Tags along with MJ and her house bc they love him. Is super smart and helps everyone around but sometimes, bc he is too good to others, he forgets to take care of himself. Which is where MJ comes and does so.

MJ- undergrad student (psychology) unlike Wanda, MJ is a serial killer. Jk. But reads into people and figures might as well put it to use. Read a lot. Like Wanda, analyzes her friend’s behavior and calls them out. Draws and designs for fun. Can’t go out for shenanigans w housemates bc she’s not of age but doesn’t mind it, she hangs out with peter and they watch movies. Looks up to all her housemates and loves them, esp since they took her in when her original housing fell through. Also, in love with Peter but denies it.

Clint-prof (pe) not actually a prof, more like a coach. Is a giant goof ball, loved by students and surprisingly, very good at yoga. Teaches 5 different courses: Yoga, Archery, Tennis, CrossFit, and swim. His classes are always filled with students who think he’s hot and he’s totally oblivious that they’re flirting with him, he just thinks they’re being nice to him. Total gym bro but still great. Spends a lot of time adventuring but hangs out with the guys as well.

#marvel au #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky au #bucky #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers #natasha romanov #wanda maximoff #clint barton #tony stark #sam wilson #social media au #michelle jones #peter parker #words left unsaid #bucky social media au

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rachelkaser · 3 years

Text

Stay Golden Sunday: Adult Education

Blanche is sexually harassed by one of her college professors. The other Girls try to get tickets to a Frank Sinatra concert.

Picture It...

Dorothy is on the phone, trying to get tickets to an upcoming Frank Sinatra concert. She’s almost seen him in concert multiple times and doesn’t want to miss another chance. Blanche enters, upset because she’s failed her psychology midterm. If she fails the course, she won’t get the secondary degree she needs for a promotion. Meanwhile, Dorothy is furious that the concert has already sold out. She, Rose, and Sophia discuss alternate ways of getting tickets, with Sophia promising that she’s “got connections.”

Rose tries to help Blanche study, but it’s obvious Blanche isn’t concentrating. Dorothy comes home, saying she tried ticket brokers, but the only way she’s going to get tickets is to go to a scalper, which she plans to do over Rose’s objections. Blanche tries to head out of the house to go to a bar, but the other Girls tell her to keep studying. Blanche says she’s just not getting the material. Dorothy encourages her to talk to her teacher -- she did it when she was a kid with a speech impediment, and her teacher helped her.

ROSE: Whatever happened to your teacher, Mrs. Lenoff? DOROTHY: Oh gosh, last I heard she retired from teaching, opened a bed and breakfast someplace in Wode Island...…..Rhode Island.

After one of her classes, Blanche approaches Professor Cooper and tries to talk to him about the problems she’s been having. He tells her she’s the only student who failed the midterm and she’ll need an A to even pass the class. She asks if there’s anything she can do to make it up, and he starts to imply she’ll have to do some “hard work.” She says she’ll do whatever she has to, and he gives her his home phone number, and tells her to “use it” if she wants her A while caressing her hand. Blanche picks up on his meaning and is horrified.

Dorothy comes home to Rose and Sophia, and tells them she balked during her deal with the scalper, so now she’s not sure what else to do to get tickets. Sophia thinks she shouldn’t have chickened out. Rose tries to reason that maybe they just aren’t meant to go. Dorothy, on the other hand, is determined to finally see Sinatra in concert.

ROSE: Here we are, Sophia. The perfect after-dinner treat: A nice dish of Jell-O. SOPHIA: I hate Jell-O. If God wanted peaches suspended in midair, He would have filled them with helium.

Blanche comes home and tells the other Girls what happened. Rose and Dorothy are furious on her behalf (Sophia is indifferent), and encourage her to report him for sexual harassment. Blanche didn’t outright refuse him, because she’s not sure if she can pass the course, but they tell her she’ll feel terrible about herself if she gives in. They relate their own stories of sexual harassment: Dorothy was harassed by the principal at her first teaching job (while he was in a corset and high heels), and Rose was harassed by a soda jerk who arranged her sundaes in an obscene way.

Blanche visits the Dean of the school, and he’s swamped, having just started the job. He initially tries to brush her off, not wanting to deal with such a big problem as sexual harassment, but she shames him into taking a report. She describes to him what happened, and he’s aghast, but when she tells him there were no witnesses, he becomes cagey. He says he can’t do anything because it’s just Blanche’s word against Professor Cooper’s, and has the audacity to say, “A man’s career is at stake!” Blanche points out that hers is too, but Dean Tucker dismisses her from the office.

DOROTHY: *regarding Sophia’s tickets* Ma, how in the world did you get these? SOPHIA: Easy -- I called Frank. I told you I had connections. ROSE: You know Frank Sinatra?! SOPHIA: No, Frank Caravicci, from the fish market. He’s always been good to me, never a bad piece of cod. He knows Frank. BLANCHE: Sinatra? SOPHIA: No, Frank Tortoni, the dry cleaner. Tina’s third cousin once removed. DOROTHY: Tina Tortoni? SOPHIA: Tina Sinatra!

When Blanche returns home, Rose immediately starts in with her own story -- she was listening to a contest on the radio, and managed to win tickets to the Sinatra concert. Blanche starts to tell her story, but Dorothy interrupts to say she managed to buy tickets for the concert from a scalper (after convincing the person who was going to buy them that she had three weeks to live). Just when Blanche gets their attention again, Sophia walks in and reveals she got tickets too -- prime tickets in the third row, thanks to her aforementioned connections. Blanche finally snaps and says she’s going to handle this herself and goes to study her butt off.

During her final exam, Blanche stays right up to the end. Professor Cooper not-so-subtly hints that she might have to retake the course as she hands her exam in. She tells him that’s not going to happen and he initially thinks she’s taking him up on his offer. She instead lays him out, telling him she decided to get an A on the final in part to spite him for treating her that way -- and she did. I can’t really capture how good this moment is; see it for yourself:

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Later that night, the other three Girls come home to worried Blanche at 2 am. Turns out Dorothy tried to scalp their seven extra tickets to an undercover police officer. So Dorothy once again missed her chance to see Sinatra. Blanche tells the other Girls she told off her Professor, but unfortunately the promotion for which she got the degree has already been taken by a woman who got a tummy tuck and a butt lift. But, as Blanche says the line that takes us into the analysis section:

“Some day her butt will turn to mush, but I’ll always have my degree!”

Sometimes a Golden Girls Very Special Episode hits you over the head with its Very Special-ness using dramatic music or tear-jerking lines. See, for example, the episode about the break-in. Sometimes a VSE sneaks up on you, cloaking itself in gags and jokes, only to reveal a shockingly relevant message at its core. In this case, the topic is sexual harassment, and the message is that women should push back against that kind of behavior in whatever way they can. It’s a little simplistic, but it gets the job done.

ROSE: At least you’re doing well in your other two courses. BLANCHE: But those are art course. They come easier to me. I’ve always had a great appreciation for arts and... artists. SOPHIA: And carpenters and mechanics, and delivery boys.

Out of all the episodes I’ve thus far reviewed of Golden Girls, it depresses me that this one’s core concept is still so pertinent in the times we’re living. In this, the age of #MeToo, it’s more important now than ever. Everything Blanche goes through here can (and does) happen today, in almost exactly the same way it happens here. It would almost be upsetting to watch, if Blanche weren’t such a badass about the situation -- and hell, even then it’s hard to stomach parts of the episode. Hell, just look at Blanche’s expression in the image at the top of this post, when Professor Cooper gropes her hand after making her his scuzzy offer.

I mean, look at what happens to Blanche in this episode: She’s demeaned by her professor, the person who’s supposed to be helping her, and told she’ll have to sleep with him if she wants to pass the course and get the degree she wants. He even prefaces his offer with, “If you really want that degree,” which just reeks of the same kind of manipulative bullshit I and many others have heard from harassers. Then, when she tries to report him through official channels, she’s dismissed by another man who has the absolute temerity to say he can’t take her word for it because, “A man’s career is at stake!” In what’s perhaps the most progressive moment of the episode, Blanche stands up and retorts, “Well so is mine! Not to mention my dignity!”

ROSE: Look, if the tickets are that hard to get, maybe we just weren’t meant to go. DOROTHY: Maybe you weren’t, Rose. But two weeks from now, I intend to be sitting in front of Old Blue Eyes himself. Live, in-person, middle-aged spread and all. ROSE: Dorothy, you can take off a few pounds by then if you put your mind to it.

In a way, I’m glad the writers had Blanche consider the offer, however briefly. That’s the devil of it when it comes to harassment like this: One party is in power over the other, and manipulating the vulnerability that the lack of power gives them, and because of that the victim might think it’s easier or less confrontational to just go along with it. Blanche, in this case, is on the verge of failing and losing her degree and a chance at a promotion -- she even tells him this, which is unfortunate given his malicious intent -- and so he has the power to both really help and (this is the important part) really hurt her depending on how she responds. And it’s crucial that this vulnerability and the effects of this kind of manipulation be recognized, because -- and I think this needs to be stressed -- even if Blanche had agreed, she would still be a victim.

I am ridiculously proud of Blanche for choosing to get back at her professor by taking the test and keeping her nose clean. I’m pretty sure that, if he tried to ding her score so she didn’t get an A, she could file an appeal and get the test reviewed, and her professor could be then be censured if he graded her unfairly. At least, I’m assuming that’s how it works within the show’s logic, and that’s why she can tell him off without it affecting her grade. We don’t get much resolution, or see the professor get his comeuppance, but sadly that, too, is realistic. I choose to hope for the best outcome.

ROSE: My life will be ruined if this ever gets home to St. Olaf. DOROTHY: What’ll they do, Rose? Revoke your ice fishing license? Take back your helmet with the horns?

That’s not to say this episode is completely above-board with the way it handles the topic, at least not by today’s standards. Some of the ways they try to inject humor into the situation don’t feel especially natural and are even insensitive. Dorothy’s principal wearing a corset and high heels while harassing her is alright, as jokes go. Rose’s story about Nils, the soda jerk who harassed her via ice cream scoops (side note: not “attempted to” harass her, did harass her; important distinction) is very funny, but Blanche bringing it up later just to mess with her felt more than a little mean.

Also, I’m not crazy about the fact that Blanche’s storyline culminates in her losing her promotion to the unseen Sally Folgeson. I don’t want to sound like I’m reaching, but I think the implication is that the museum director promoted Sally because the tummy tuck and butt lift made her more attractive -- meaning, Sally is using her body to get ahead, the same thing the Girls encouraged Blanche not to do. I’m glad Blanche is cool with it, but it kind of punctures the message a bit, doesn’t it? Also, shame on that museum director, because YUCK. If that’s what it takes to get ahead at that museum, then I don’t think Blanche would have wanted the promotion in the first place.

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Probably the most troubling part of the episode to me is that Rose and Dorothy are more helpful and attentive to Blanche when she’s neglecting her studies than they are after she’s been sexually harassed by her professor. I know that’s part of the comedy, but I’m honestly a little offended that they’re so wrapped up in a Frank Sinatra concert that they can’t even be bothered to make sure Blanche is okay after her test. And this is coming from someone who would absolutely hock an organ to go back in time and hear Sinatra live.

Speaking of the B-plot, this episode is very well-balanced, with Rose, Dorothy, and Sophia getting roughly equal screen-time while Blanche handles the A-plot. I love that they’re getting better at this, because it makes for a better episode overall when one character (usually Sophia) isn’t getting reduced down to a handful of lines. They even give Sophia an extra bit where she’s cleaning out her purse and makes a few cracks at Rose on, including the immortal line:

ROSE: Did all that stuff come out of your purse? SOPHIA: No, I was also cleaning out my ears. That’s where the Feenamint and the rain bonnet came from.

This culminates in the great scene where Blanche is trying to get a word in edgewise, only for all of her roommates to come in with their own triumphant stories about acquiring the precious tickets back-to-back. As annoyed as I am with them for not listening to Blanche, it’s an hilarious scene that brings the two plotlines together and lets everyone’s comedic talents shine through, culminating in Sophia explaining how many degrees she’s separated from the family of Frank Sinatra.

I do have a few nitpicks. First, there’s a continuity error in the first scene when Dorothy describes how she almost saw Sinatra when Stan bought her tickets: She says that in the divorce settlement, she got “the house and the kids” while Stan got the tickets. Given that Dorothy’s only been divorced from Stan for two years, her children would have been in their thirties at the time of their divorce, so Dorothy wouldn’t be getting custody of them. It’s never made clear when Dorothy moved to Florida, but I presume she had to sell the house she got in the divorce at some point in order to move in with the other Girls.

ROSE: Oh, you can’t buy from a scalper. That’s a crime! DOROTHY: Well, so is eating grapes at the supermarket, but you do that all the time. ROSE: I have to test them. DOROTHY: Rose, one is testing. Fourteen is brunch.

A little historical housekeeping, as well: Vikings didn’t actually have horned helmets and, to my knowledge, they’re not called “Longenhödden.” Though, fun fact: I went back and scoured transcripts for the show up to this point, and this is the first time we hear that Rose’s hometown is called St. Olaf. So mark this episode as the official debut of the Cradle of Idiocy itself: St. Olaf, Minnesota!

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode:

Blanche’s exasperation with Rose’s story is the best:

ROSE: I was driving down Biscayne Boulevard-- BLANCHE: No. No! NO! NO! Please, I cannot bear that again. *to Dorothy* She was listening to her car radio -- Big Band, not All Talk. There was a contest. Something about a little voice, a lucky number, and a dime in a door handle, then bim bam boom, she won the tickets! DOROTHY:...take a lesson, Rose. That’s how you tell a story.

#golden girls #stay golden #blanche devereaux #sophia petrillo #rose nylund #dorothy zbornak #stay golden sunday #s01e20 #adult education #picture it

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psychologyofsex · 3 years

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The True Story of How I Became a Sex Educator and Researcher

Our professional biographies tend to serve as a “highlight reel”—they only say the great things we’ve accomplished and don’t reveal the struggles, challenges, and uncertainties that went into building a career. To lift back the curtain on this, the Society for Personality and Social Psychology (SPSP) recently asked a number of scholars to submit their official bios along with their “unofficial bios” that reveal an extremely different version of the story with more twists and turns.

You can read some of the examples here. Although I didn’t participate in it, I thought it would be fun to do something similar on the blog. So here goes—I’ll start with my official bio, followed by the real, behind-the-scenes story.

Official Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

Dr. Justin Lehmiller received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. He is a Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute and author of the book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University, where he taught for several years. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar who has published more than 50 academic works to date, including a textbook titled The Psychology of Human Sexuality (now in its second edition) that is used in college classrooms around the world. Dr. Lehmiller's studies have appeared in all of the leading journals on human sexuality, including the Journal of Sex Research, Archives of Sexual Behavior, and The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Dr. Lehmiller has run the popular blog Sex and Psychology since 2011. It receives millions of page views per year and is rated among the top sex blogs on the internet. In 2019, he launched the Sex and Psychology Podcast. It ranks among the top sexuality podcasts in several countries and has been named one of “11 sex podcasts that will help you get better in bed” by Men’s Health.

Dr. Lehmiller has been interviewed by numerous media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, CNN, The Atlantic, The Globe and Mail, and The Sunday Times. He has been named one of 5 "Sexperts" You Need to Follow on Twitter by Men's Health and one of the "modern-day masters of sex" by Nerve. Dr. Lehmiller has appeared on the Netflix series Sex, Explained, he has been on several episodes of the television program Taboo on the National Geographic Channel, and he has been a guest on Dr. Phil. Dr. Lehmiller has also appeared on numerous podcasts and radio shows, including the Savage Lovecast, the BBC’s Up All Night, and several NPR programs (1A, Radio Times, and Airtalk).

He is a popular freelance writer, penning columns and op-eds for major publications, including The Washington Post, Playboy, USA Today, VICE, Psychology Today, Men’s Health, Politico, and New York Magazine. He has also interviewed several prominent authors, journalists, and psychologists about their work for his blog and podcast, including Dr. Sanjay Gupta, Lisa Ling, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and bestselling authors Christopher Ryan (Sex at Dawn) and Lisa Taddeo (Three Women).

Unofficial Bio of Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller

When Justin’s parents asked him what he wanted to study in college, he said “psychology.” He had taken a couple of psychology courses in high school that he found to be absolutely fascinating; however, his parents discouraged him from this because getting into a PhD program was tough and uncertain and, if that didn’t work out, they didn’t see much potential in a Bachelor’s degree in psychology. They encouraged him to pursue a career in occupational therapy (OT) instead because a family friend said “they needed more men in the field,” and also because his parents saw it as a path to job security with a pretty good paycheck.

He applied to a 5-year combined Bachelor’s/Master’s program in OT at Gannon University and was admitted. Incidentally, he was one of two men in the entire program. He spent a year and a half in it and made straight As in every course, including biochemistry and physics—but he wasn’t happy. He recognized the importance of OT to society, but it wasn’t his passion. After showing his parents that he was taking college seriously and earning good grades, they allowed him to switch his major to psychology.

Upon completing his Bachelor’s degree, he only applied to Master’s programs in psychology because he didn’t think he had the chops to get into a PhD program right away. The inferiority complex was strong in this one, so he didn’t even try. He applied and was accepted to Villanova University’s Master’s program in experimental psychology. He was not competitive enough of a candidate to receive an assistantship initially, although he eventually received one after another student dropped out.

He really wanted to study social psychology at Villanova, but there was only one social psychologist on staff at the time and several interested students. The only option for him was to beg one of the clinical psychologists to let him do a social psychology study for his Master’s thesis.

As he began looking for PhD programs to apply to, he met Dr. Chris Agnew at a meeting of the American Psychological Association. Chris was studying romantic relationships and Justin thought that sounded like a fun thing to spend his life doing. Plus, Chris was a super cool guy who seemed like a fantastic mentor. He applied and was admitted to Purdue’s social psychology program, although he was initially waitlisted (and rejected from all but one other program). Justin’s plan was to get his doctorate and become a college professor. Teaching and research sounded like things he could probably do.

Justin was assigned to teach a Health Psychology course at Purdue during his first year. He had never taught a class before and quickly realized that he was very uncomfortable with public speaking. The class was a disaster. Attendance dropped 60-70% within the first couple of weeks. He had no idea what he was doing and dreaded going to class each day—and he received poor evaluations in the end.

Around the same time, Justin submitted his first academic paper to a journal, it was promptly rejected and came with this review: “This manuscript is fatally flawed and of marginal utility, which is a shame because potentially interesting questions could have been asked given the topic and timing of the research. The tone of this manuscript represents the worst in scientific misconstrual, particularly because the claims are silly, wrong, or not warranted by the data.” Justin clearly sucked at both teaching and research—and if he couldn’t do those things well, how would he ever become a college professor?

He also started hearing horror stories from advanced students in his program who couldn’t find jobs and were sticking around for 6 or 7 years in the hope of eventually landing a job—any job. All of this led Justin to question what the hell he was doing with his life. Maybe he should have listened to his parents after all? Chris encouraged Justin to stick with it, though, as did his friends and mentors.

The next year, Justin got assigned to be a teaching assistant for a human sexuality course taught by Dr. Janice Kelly. It changed his life. He had to lead weekly discussion sections with students and answer their sex questions (a subject he knew next to nothing about, having attended Catholic schools most of his life). He read about sex extensively and instantly knew he had found what he really wanted to do with his career. He saw it as something fun and interesting—but also a way that he could make a real difference. He realized how little most people actually know about sex, and how education can correct so many harmful myths and misconceptions.

An opportunity to teach his own human sexuality class opened up the following year, and he took it. This time around, teaching was different—he was passionate about the subject and the students were, too. He had no problems with attendance. He ended up teaching this course six times before he graduated and eventually received a teaching award for it. He found that he loved being a sex educator.

He also found a solution to his public speaking anxiety: he started taking a beta-blocker (propranolol) on public speaking days, which removed physiological symptoms of anxiety. This allowed him to feel like himself in front of a crowd and, after just a few months, he no longer needed to take the medication—the anxiety had gone away completely.

He started conducting his own sex research, too, including a series of studies with Dr. Kelly on friends with benefits. His research skills improved and his studies started getting accepted instead of rejected.

He eventually landed a job at Colorado State University as an assistant professor, where he stayed for three years and continued his work as a sex educator and researcher. His partner couldn’t get a job in the area and had just taken a job in Boston, so Justin applied for every academic job within two hours of Boston. He was turned down for all of them. As a last-ditch effort, he applied for a teaching position at Harvard but had absolutely no confidence in it. He almost didn’t submit the application, but his partner encouraged him to do so. Justin had applied to Harvard’s PhD program previously and was rejected—if they didn’t want him as a student, why the heck would they want him as a teacher?

To his great surprise, he got the job at Harvard, where he stayed for three years. However, he had given up his tenure-track job in Colorado for a teaching position in Boston with no job security. So he decided to reinvent himself just in case things didn’t work out. In his spare time, he started a blog, wrote a human sexuality textbook, and became a freelance media writer. Communicating about sex science to the public became his hobby and was going to be his backup career in case the college professor thing didn’t work out.

Eventually, Justin’s partner wanted to move to Indianapolis for a job opportunity, so they left Boston. But Justin didn’t have a job at first and his backup plan wasn’t yet enough to be a full-time job. He knew the Kinsey Institute was nearby, so he drafted a letter to the director in the hope of establishing a connection, but he never sent it. He had a severe case of imposter syndrome and did not feel accomplished or experienced enough to have anything to do with what he saw as the premier hub for sex research in the world.

Much to his surprise, the associate director of the Institute reached out to him after he moved to Indiana to explore opportunities for working together. It was actually his hobby/backup plan that caught their eye—they were interested in working together to disseminate sex science to the public and were impressed with what he had done with his blog and social media.

Justin affiliated with Kinsey, but also jumped back on the tenure track with a job as the Director of the Social Psychology Program at Ball State University, which fortuitously opened up about 4 months after he moved to Indianapolis. After 3.5 years, he decided to leave full-time academics and do his own thing. His science communication hobby had managed to grow into a full-time job and it was no longer feasible to do that and academics. Plus, he found that the science communication work was really where his passion was. So, the backup plan officially became “the plan.”

Justin now spends every day finding new ways to help educate and inform the public about the science of sex. He’s still not sure how things ended up this way, but wouldn’t trade his current job for anything.

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for more from the blog or here to listen to the podcast. Follow Sex and Psychology on Facebook, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Image Source: 123RF

You Might Also Like:

How Do You Become a Sex Researcher?

So You Want To Be A Science Blogger? Here’s What You Need To Know

Sex Question Friday: What Is A Sexologist And How Do I Become One?

#sex education #sex research

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toaspireintodarkness · 4 years

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I RUINED MY SEARCH HISTORY FOR WRITING. I PROBABLY SOUND LIKE A PSYCHO

I don't really advise ruining your search history as it can be really suspicious, especially if the people who watch your activity do not know what you exact plans are. But... if anyone writes: here are some potential... credits.

Straitjackets are not really used anymore. For you fans of Hannibal Lector, that was dramatized. The true portrayal of a straitjacket would have a higher chance of being seen in a prison. Unless the mental patient supplies the hospital staff with a true reason to put a straitjacket on the patient (such as harm to self or others or unsafe behavior). The most common forms of protecting a patient are holding them until they are safe, padded room, and/or therapy of some sort.

Illegal drugs, and street drugs. I researched these for a specific character of mine. The list includes: alcohol, over-the-counter medication, heroin, cocaine, marijuana, tobacco/nicotine products, bath salts, Ecstasy, Flakka, Krokadil, LSD, and methamphetamines. Each of these have their own symptoms, but a few common side effects are dizziness, hallucinations, and fast heart rate.

Murder. Murder can be performed.. *laughs nervously* in many different ways. For obvious reasons, I'm not going to list them. But rather, explain. The heart is vital for a persons body to function, as well as the brain. Some nerves in our body (as well as an animals) can cause us to become paralyzed, such as our spinal cord. If the neck is snapped, we can die. We can have several, 50, 100, 150, broken/fractured bones in our body and still live, though we may pass out from pain, or gradually die from the pain. Blood bounces on snow/ice on first contact. It has a different density than pure water, but it can be mixed with water and be mixed fully. Blood can be thin or thick, bright red, blue, purple, and dark red at first sight, but it smears out as red unless pus is in it. You can walk on broken bones but it is extremely painful and can impose further damage. For a bladed weapon to work efficiently, it has to be cleaned after every use and sharpened to reduce full blades. There are certain pressure points in a body that can make one pass out.

If writing a fight, use moves that they may have done, such as Karate and more. If there isn't a specific way, simply describe the movements. Don't add unnecessary detail, it makes it seem less realistic.

TRAUMA *claps* I dunno if this one is going to be longer than the murder section, but here we go! So trauma can affect us in many ways, and there are several different types of trauma. Emotional, physical, mental, and psychological trauma are the different types. Emotional and mental trauma can run in the same category because it can affect how a person thinks of themself. It is constantly remembered, as well as the other traumas. Emotional trauma is how certain situations can cause our emotions to act. Mental trauma is an experience of something that never goes away, such as PTSD or GAD. Physical trauma can be a form of physical abuse. Our bodies remember what happen to us, and per say, one was abused and hit with force. We fear that happening again, so some of us may flinch, cry, etc when someone makes the action. Psychological trauma runs along with mental trauma, but it is also involves the more severe cases that is harder to control. When we witness something so terrifying, or if we break, we will always be thinking of that moment. It can make one anxious, paranoid, stressed, and irrational with their actions. Children are more able to suffer from a form of trauma rather than an adult, as it is their first impressions of the world.

If making a cannibal, the human flesh smells horrible when cooked(via WW2 example, the burnt carcasses would create an ungodly smell) Blood has a metallic smell. Muscles are more tender as well as ligaments. Flesh is chewy. Can cause health issues after a while, and also it can place an effect on the mind. Though studies show that it can be assumed, it is very illegal and you will go to prison for it. Kidneys will be messy and juicy, and they will have different tastes like bitter vs. Sweet, salty etc. Healthy is better, since the individualmost likely takescare of themselves. Stomach has acid in it, so you would avoid eating it. The small and large intestines are like really thick long noodles. Probably chewy. Brain may or may not be slimey from blood flow, and it can be considered like fat.

And that's it! Thank God too.. I hope this was somewhat useful to someone out there. YES I AM WRITING A THRILLER NOVEL, and I needed this information. Badly. I used research organizations and case studies as my sources for information.

#writing #badsearch history #whydididothisforwriting #thriller #writeblr #writers on tumblr #writing tips #writing help #research #case study #god forgive me #iswearimawriter #i promise im writing #i promise im just a writer #study notes #notes

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eusalej · 3 years

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ᵃˡˡ'ˢ 𝓯𝓪𝓲𝓻 ⁱⁿ 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸 & 𝖜𝖆𝖗

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆:

⟨ IVANA BAQUERO. CIS FEMALE. SHE / HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, 𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐀 ‘𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐉’ 𝐆𝐔𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐑𝐎 is actually a descendent of 𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐄. it’s still a question of whether or not the 24 year old 𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 from 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐀, 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐍has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite 𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓 & 𝐀𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄.

𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒:

a wanderer at heart, nomadic to the core ( a mercenary ) who dislikes lingering in one place, perhaps why she’s filtered in and out of the university like a specter for the past five years ; a daughter of aphrodite who wants nothing more than to shirk that title and does her best to ; frequently misidentified as a daughter of ares for her ruthless and often cold demeanor ; uses her amokinesis to sense feelings in people and uses that knowledge to her advantage, but adamantly refuses to use it to manipulate ( and lacks charmspeak ) ; a lover of physical combat, typically simultaneously wielding a mismatched celestial bronze short sword and dagger ; yet also a non-believer in love, seeing it only as a weakness.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘:

— mariana guerrero was a strict woman with a kind heart somewhere deep inside her, endlessly focused on climbing the ranks within the spanish armed forces and shattering that glass ceiling. with a surname name like that, perhaps it was a bit of an inevitability. what she did not think was inevitable was falling in love. with a tough exterior few seldom cracked it was perhaps more like an impossibility, that is until she caught the eye of a certain goddess of love.

— alejandra guerrero was born on an insignificant day in july, sweltering hot and the kind people say is only good for lying around to try not to get too sticky. unfortunately for her mother, she never made anything easy.

— alej was raised in her mother’s image : the model of firm but fair and tough love, fiercely independent and strong. but her mother was often absent at most times of her life due to her service, leaving her to be raised by her grandparents in barcelona.

— she was quite young when her first power manifested : AMOKINESIS. but it was less a matter of control and more a matter of simple observation in her mind and one she simply used to her advantage, viciously teasing her classmates about their crushes. she was rarely wrong, something that put most of her classmates off so sure she was betraying secrets when in fact it was just the beginning of her power manifesting. she wasn’t exactly a bully, but she wasn’t the sweet little girl her face suggested.

— as she grew older, alej was aware she had this odd sixth sense, even if it never seemed to do any good. she did learn to use it more wisely, though — there’s a lot people will do for you just to keep the object of their desire oblivious : a stupid logic if you asked her, but hey, she may as well profit from it.

— she was average in school, but where she excelled was in the study of people, learning what made them tick and how she could use that to her advantage — things that were not so easily taught.

— at twelve, her mother finally disclosed the secret about her identity and in the summer, she began going to a camp in spain. to say the least, alej loved going to camp, or rather she loved learning how to fight. she had little interest in learning to hon her powers to be used as they should be, instead gravitating to all things physical and strategic warfare, hellbent on not being seen as the sweet little aphrodite girl that many still saw her as. perhaps this was her mother’s ideology at work, but somewhere along the road it became her own.

— then began her drive to go on as many quests as she possibly could and as many as the camp would let her on. though she maintained she worked better alone, questing was something she enjoyed greatly in spite of the company of the two other demigods and the danger. she couldn’t have cared less about the actual things they were doing for the gods — it was all about honing her skills and testing her abilities in the real world.

— at fourteen, she began to stay at camp full-time and at seventeen after graduating from bachillerato ( because in spite of her attitude, she ceded education was of critical importance if she ever decided to go to college ), she left to roam europe.

— it was in these years that she picked up some freelance work, hunting down monsters that plagued demigod and mundane establishment sometimes for money, sometimes just because she was bored and felt like it. she was a mercenary in some ways, going where the trouble was and profiting immensely from it ( think almost… a witcher ?? ). this lifestyle suited her nomadic preferences, allowing her to go where she wanted and no one telling her what to do and afforded her enough money to survive.

— people’s perception of her was usually positive, so long as they didn’t have to interact with her awfully long in person. alej could be sweet when she wanted to, and people often wanted so desperately to like her, finding something alluring about her unavailability and callous attitude ( so sure that they would be the one to finally break through ) but if alej didn’t want to like them, then so be it.

— alej’s attitude and arrogance finally got the best of her not long after her twentieth birthday, seeing her get critically injured after dispatching of a trio of monsters that’d been sniffing around the outskirts of athens. luckily, a pair of demigods found her and brought her back to the apollo infirmary at eonia university where she was nursed back to health after a few days.

— the accident did have alej rethinking her ways in that weeks that followed, the two years of travelling with little reprieve finally catching up to her. she eventually decided to stay once the fall semester started. and thus began a slightly new chapter of her life, taking classes at the university until she inevitably became trapped by the boarders that protected her and some danger called to her from beyond them.

— since then she’s nearly always alternated semesters at eonia, slowly chipping away at some degree of a sort ( though she almost always just picked classes that looked interest to her with no specific path in mind ). sometimes she finishes a semester, sometimes she disappears halfway through only to show up two months later. it’s anyone’s guess really.

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂:

— her main weapons are a short and light celestial bronze sword and a dagger that was a gift from apollo upon completion of a quest ( though it is sadly just a dagger ) ; obviously they don’t match but she typically wields them simultaneously, finding their mismatched nature allows her for flexibility within fights. she can wield either in either hand with ease as well. they don’t have any other additional magical properties besides the fact they never lose their shine, but they don’t need to because they’re always holstered at her waist and she doesn’t go anywhere without them.

— her fighting style has evolved over the years and often changes depending on who ( or what ) she’s facing. but one thing that always remains is that she never tries to overpower with pure brute forcing, knowing she typically does not inherently outmatch her opponent pound for pound, but with her skill and slippery way of fighting, she is more than a match.

— ambidextrous : it’s not something that came naturally to her at first, but she trained herself relentlessly at from even a young age until it was because she thought it would be cool. as she got older, she realized just how much benefit that’s given her.

— she’s currently declared as a behavioral psychology major, which is something that she does find interesting, but it’s mostly just because eventually the university said she had to declare and that just happened to be what she had the most credits in. she often loads up on combat classes too, and can be frequently found in the gym or sparring rings. as it stands now, in the four and a half years since she first “started” at eonia, she has about three semesters worth of credits. at the same times, she is in no hurry to finish up.

— alej is quite smart, quick to think on her feet and enjoys a good challenge. it’s one of the reasons she volunteered to so many quests and then transitioned to mercenary work as she got older. however, in spite of her strategic skill, she’s prone to recklessness and jumping before she looks. she’s not against making half a plan and figuring out the rest as she goes ; she thinks she’s smart enough to get away with it, and many times she does ( until she doesn’t ).

— she doesn’t own much : able to pack her entire life down into a backpack with ease. she doesn’t keep much in her room in the aphrodite house, either — mostly items she’s deemed unimportant ( mostly things gifted to her ). her space often has the look of being unlived in even when she is there. alej always had a tendency to leave impressions in people’s minds, not physical spaces.

— she enjoys climbing things and being in high places, especially when they offer her a vantage of large swathes of land. it makes her feel like a bird for a moment ( and means she’s slightly jealous of hypnos kids that can shapeshift into birds — she’s not in the habit of yearning for what can’t be, but it’s really the only godly power she wishes she could possess )

— her languages are spanish, english, greek ( as a demigod ), french ( as aphrodite’s daughter ), and conversational german.

— alej has met aphrodite once. i think she tried to stab her. aphrodite probably laughed and then blessed alej’s weapons to never dull, rust, or lose their shine which she thought was dumb at the time but begrudgingly has since recognized that it’s a useful property since it means she never has to clean her weapons.

— “looks like she could kill you, could actually kill you” on the cinnamon roll spectrum

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘:

— “ all’s fair in love and war.” certainly words alej loves to live by. she has a temper she doesn’t bother to reign in when it shows up, often acting on whims and with a certain reckless abandon that doesn’t take her safety ( and often other’s safety ) into account. alej can be emotionally cruel at times, very love is a battlefield and shit.

— she’s fiercely independent, something that expresses itself as both a positive and negative, often leading her to refuse help even when she desperately does need it. she has few friends. people have to earn her respect to earn her friendship and that’s not an easy thing to do with alej. her few friends are often ones who can spar with her, physically or mentally, and challenge her to ceaselessly be better. earning her trust and friendship is difficult, but once you do you have a friend for life. ( at times, she envies those who are effortlessly kind, but on most days rolls her eyes at them and moves on ).

— that being said alej is an incredibly hard worker. her image is ironically very important to her, and she doesn’t take days off on that. she strives to not be seen as “a daughter of aphrodite,” which she views as a sort of weakness. a more level-headed approach would be to use that underestimation to her advantage, but alej loathes to be seen as weak and incapable in any light, and even more to actually feel that way. because of that, she hates to lose and fears failure. she’s been asked if she feels like she’s overcompensating ; no one ever asks that twice. it’s not uncommon for people unfamiliar with her to assume she’s a daughter of ares, given her brutal, reckless, and trends toward violence — she likes when people do ; to her that means it’s all paying off.

— a staunch non-believer in love : she knows firsthand just how easy it is to manipulate, and even sensing it in other causes her to roll her eyes. she equates loving to weakness, not because of any tragic past or great heartbreak, simply because that’s what she believes. passion, desire, and lust are all more fun in her books, but again still weakness, things that can be easily exploited — something she goes out of her way to do. she hates being seen as a daughter of aphrodite and goes to great lengths to not be perceived as such, from her brutality to her callous demeanor. for the most part, she’s successful in this and many of the people who refer to her as such don’t make the mistake of doing it again.

— she’s not exactly a bully. though no one is safe from her attitude at least once, she won’t often go after the same person twice unless she’s sure they can take it and rarely without cause ( though granted, that “cause” doesn’t have to be much ) — like any fight, it’s the most fun when someone pushes back. some people are so pitiful that they’re not even worth her attention. in general, her mannerisms and attitude are less due to true malice or a desire to harm others, and more due to a blunt and abrasive nature, a cynical worldview, and a low tolerance for bullshit.

𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒:

AMOKINESIS —

�� it’s less of a thing alej really exercises total control over and more a single side-effect of it she abuses to no end. after all, the most potent effects of amokinesis are merely results of blossoming of seeds that are already there. alej doesn’t dabble much in the blossoming or generating feelings, simply in being able to detect the emotions, no matter how small or buried, in people and ( if people are in the right place and right proximity to each other ) just who they’re for. just the knowledge alone is enough for her to twist to her own needs without need for dabbling further — at least with her power. knowledge is power, after all, and if she’s learned anything in this world, it’s that a lot of people like to keep their romantic feelings close to their chest, making it an effective motivator ( not even to mention the number of loveless relationships out there ). there are endless destructive possibilities for her without even having to influence a single emotion.

this aspect of amokinesis is something she’s honed relentlessly since she first discovered it within herself to the point where it’s practically reflexive to her. it’s more effort for her not to sense the respective emotions than it is for her to register them. there are a select few that she makes an effort not to read, but it’s a very select few — there’s not many people she respects enough to do that. she doesn’t dabble much in manipulation, save occasionally to suppress other’s feelings for her if they come to annoy her too much. she can manipulate emotions adequately, but this is more a result of her required amokinesis classes than anything.

being the offspring of aphrodite is also useful in that her siblings’ powers have no effect on her, be it amokinesis or charmspeak ; this is something she is begrudgingly thankful for. the idea of being forced to develop feelings for someone or being forced to do anything against her will are both things of a nightmare in her mind. on the flipside, it means it’s a lot harder for her to get a read on her siblings’ feelings.

ENHANCED BEAUTY —

one trait alej shares with her siblings is her undeniable vain streak. it doesn’t present itself in the need for makeup and frilly dresses, more in the way a wolf can still be beautiful after tearing into a caribou carcass. it’s more of a wild beauty, not one she controls but she never looks like shit no matter what she’s been through, a sparring session or a crawl through a dump truck. she enjoys turning heads of all kinds, and enjoys it even more because she fancies herself completely out of their league.

MISC —

alej notably lacks the ability of charmspeak, though it’s unclear if she simply doesn’t have it or if it’s so weakly developed in her that it goes unnoticed. she still has a way with words and the way she holds herself that she can still get what she wants, the same way any beautiful woman could get what she wants if she puts her mind to it.

she considers herself a daughter of aphrodite only on technicality, not in practice and that includes not actively using any of the powers she gains from being her daughter. that’s why she doesn’t participate much in the control or influencing aspects of her amokinesis ; if she’s going to get something, she’s going to earn it under her own devices and because she deserves it. it’s far more satisfying to her that way ( though some may argue her looks and persuasion skills are also traits from her goldly mother, alej stanchly does not see it that way ).

her time and energy is more channeled towards other things, like physical training — and it’s paid off : her hand-to-hand combat skills are near unparalleled. given her large swath of real life experience, alej is quite talented in the art of fighting and strategy — however, without surprise, her teamwork and ability to work with others is severely lacking.

𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄:

— 5′4″. built like a long-distance runner and extremely agile.

— alej often has a dishonest look about her and a predatory and observant gaze, not unlike that of a wolf. her leave me alone vibes are impressive despite her small stature.

— honestly… just ivana baquero as eretria in shannara chronicles bc it’s such a Look™

— in general she sticks to natural colors : earth tones and forest greens, and clothing that is form-fitting but not so much that it hampers her movement in any way. she doesn’t wear overly baggy clothing, more because it can get caught on things than any real desire to show off her figure ( though it is a perk ). she typically wears light boots of some kind, ones that fit impeccably and have been molded to her feet with time. she hates poorly made shoes and also expensive shoes that are uncomfortable as hell. alej always has an air that she might run off at any second, and tends to dress like it too.

— she doesn’t go anywhere without her weapons, often holstered in her belt. there is also a small silver pen knife sheathed in one of her brown combat boots in case of encounters with werewolves.

— jewelry: black leather bracelets on both wrists ( right is a band about a centimeter wide, the left is a leather string wrapped around several times ) ; three black stud earrings in her left cartilage

— scars: several small scars all over her body related to typical demigod shenanigans, one long scar across her left palm from an accident when she was first learning to use her daggers

— PINTEREST BOARD HERE

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒:

🎵i wanna ~𝘷𝘪𝘣𝘦~ with somebody🎵 🎵feel the ᶜʰᵉᵐ with someboᵈʸʸʸʸʸʸ🎵

— okay but one plot i do want is someone who genuinely did like her / have a crush on her for…. whatever reason alsdkfj. and alej manipulated their feelings and buried them. cld be angsty yknow.

— she’s also frequented / passed through most of the european camps at some point due to her travelling / wandering. so… y’know potential point of connection.

𝐎𝐎𝐂:

hello… i am still ollie and i am back with alej 2 electric boogaloo… she has a real bio now and i have a much better idea of who she is so i think this time will go much better.

#eonia.intro #eu.intro #( what even is the tag #idk i'll do both )#( she's clocking in at 3.2k #so she's no jason but #she's going strong )

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asgardianthot · 4 years

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Flesh And Bones - part 1

Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes

Soulmate AU

In a world where people bond with their soulmates through physical pain, living in the same compound makes the search much easier (or it should, if they weren’t so damn stubborn)

TW: self-inflicted injuries

words: 1742

A/N: this is my first time posting a series on the tumblrs but I’ve had the idea for months so here goes nothing

Series Masterlist

Pain is such human extravaganza.

For your body to react to certain dangers or stimulations that trigger specific nervous patterns, that’s something most living creatures are built with. We are but machines; when you lay your hand over fire and it hurts, your nervous system is alerting the rest of your body of harm and yelling at it to get away from said harm, similar to how old hair dryers would stop functioning when they overheated to prevent explosions.

That, we have a general idea of. Pain is natural and not a construct.

But suffering. Aching from love, or the lack of it… nobody does it better than humans. Super-humans included. Enhanced, hyper-trained, whatever. The pain parade of romance is something so deeply rooted into the dumbest parts of our brains, that that must be the reason behind soulmates.

The point is, it is only logical for such a cruel universe to bond love and pain so tightly.

It’s simple, really. Sometime in the speck of dust of time in which we live, a person will get injured. They’ll bump their toe on a kitchen counter, fall on their butts, cut their finger while chopping vegetables, or maybe get into a chaotic car accident. No matter the damage, when the universe decides that hurt idiot is your hurt idiot, you’ll feel their pain on your own skin. It also didn’t matter if you knew the person or not, only chances were your soulmate was a complete stranger.

At first it comes like a tingle, a small pinch or even the ghost sensation of a scratch. But if your soulmate is nearer than they should without you realizing who they are, the sensation becomes full and the closer they are the more vivid their pain feels on your own skin. It is extremely uncertain, however, if it has to do with spatial proximity, or emotional.

Sam Wilson would eventually sit on the park, after his morning jog, or afternoon jog, and contemplate people. He enjoyed the easiness, the memory of a time before the army, when his life was simple. No PTSD, no Avenging. To be fair, the Avenger life was the cure to the PTSD somehow, for Sam Wilson was a man of action and the more quiet his life was, the more his mind wandered. He loved the agitation, the missions, the feeling of helping people, yet every once in a while, or once a day even, he would simply sit and watch the futility of civilian’s walks around the park.

A woman sat next to him and didn’t offer any sign of kindness. She seemed busy -occupied- in the way that she moved and looked around, which is why he didn’t look at her any longer so she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. However, he then began getting the feeling that she was keeping an eye on him, and when he glanced at her nervous hands, he noticed the poor woman holding a needle to her skin, poking her own hand a few times.

A desperate soul.

On one side of a binary coin, some people don’t believe in soulmates. They aren’t the easiest to spot, and when a couple like that is seen, there is no proof for a simple skeptical individual that they actually felt each other’s pain. There were studies proving the neuronal effects, and were those hard to execute, but not everyone fell for them. Some argued that it was psychological placebo, that the person forced themselves to feel their lover’s feelings, some accused the studies to be biased or false. Some were old and hadn’t found one so why would they believe soulmates were real? They’re not necessary. You don’t just love the person you’ll want to spend the rest of your life with, and them alone, there’s all kinds of love and affection. Then, well… some were simply bitter, covering up their fear of never finding one for themselves.

On the polar opposite, there were the desperate ones. They would inflict harm on themselves in public spaces, expecting a reaction from the passersby.

More than once had Sam seen a man stab their own leg or cut through their palm yelling ‘can anybody feel this?’ as if they feared this was their only shot, forcing the Falcon to run and make them stop hurting themselves along with other civilians. Some couldn’t wait. And Sam never understood why someone wouldn’t be able to enjoy life if they didn’t know their one and only; It made dating much more relaxed and fun and honest. Perhaps that person would eventually become your soulmate, and even though the probabilities of that happening were slim to none, it didn’t need to ruin every romantic relationship in your life.

Therefore with pain in his chest, he addressed the young woman whose eyes were directly analyzing Sam’s hand.

“Hey, lady?” he asked her, earning a big pair of hopeful eyes to find his; yet he had to give her a sad frown to let her know he wasn’t who she was looking for, thus gaining a mimicking disappointed look, “It’s not worth all this trouble.”

Her expression quickly turned into one of distance, like she was trying to protect herself from people who didn’t understand her. She sat back and allowed a smirk to take over her face as she stared into nothingness.

“You’re one of those people who think it’s all a hoax? A construct?” when obtaining no reply, she kept pressuring the Falcon, “Placebo effect? Self-conditioning?”

Sam didn’t give in. He simply took a big breath and sat up from the bench. When he turned to face her, her eyes weren’t as distant.

“No.” He said calmly, “I think yours will come when it’s time. Until then,” he raised his eyebrows a bit, “you’re just hurting yourself for no reason.”

Sam walked away before he could see the young woman’s lower lip tremble.

“I didn’t eat your cereal.” Bucky protested, plopped on the couch that faced a flat screen.

Sam, however, wasn’t buying it. He held his ground, one hand on his hip and the other agitating the skimpy remains inside the carton box, making it rattle.

“It’s empty.” He insisted, in a way that screamed paranoia over being accused of overreacting or being crazy.

Instead of acting in an opposite behavior, he gave Bucky all the more reason to treat him as if he were going insane.

“Well, it wasn’t me.” The soldier replied easily, not flipping through the channels anymore but surrendering to a local news one; after a sigh, he looked at the accusatory, “Maybe Steve did it.”

Sam pursed his lips before turning to Steve with a dead look on his face.

“Steve, did you eat my cereal?” he asked condescendingly, already knowing the answer to be no.

As a matter of fact, the blonde’s shirt had small dark spots where he sweat his morning jog on, his hair was still perfect for a regular person but a bit disheveled for Captain America’s inhuman standards, and he was focused on drinking from a water bottle.

He tilted his head to Sam, who nodded, more agreeing with himself than with Rogers.

“You’re the only one who stays on the couch all morning.” He braked back at Barnes.

He didn’t respond this time, perhaps because he was, once again, being accused of being lazy and not using his time nor his gifts wisely. Perhaps because he was just tired of saying he didn’t eat the cereals in question when he had undoubtedly and decisively eaten the cereals in question.

Paying attention to the random local news he’d landed on, he got the gist of what the reporter was saying. They were presenting a quirky story of a bitter man suing his soulmate. He claimed the only reason he got into a car accident was because he felt a sudden sharp pain in his foot and got distracted, and therefore, was asking for his soulmate to pay off the insurance money. Of course they had to find the soulmate who was allegedly responsible for the crash.

“That’s ridiculous.” Bucky mocked.

Sam sat next to him, already having dropped the subject of the missing cereals. He listened to the reporter interviewing the odd man and let an amused but very quickly evaporated smile.

“People have been pulling stunts like these for ages, you can’t be surprised.”

Barnes glanced at him for a second, then returning to the TV. He still thought it was the stupidest reason to sue he’d ever heard of.

“It’s insane.” He said anyways.

“I think it’s sad.” Sam derailed the commentary on an opposite direction, “Can’t be fun starting your lifelong love story through a lawsuit.”

Steve joined the conversation from behind the couch. “I’m pretty sure it’s just a way of getting their attention. You know, find them whatever it takes. It’s actually kind of romantic.”

Bucky scoffed. He couldn’t stop Steve from being such a hopeless romantic and blindly believe in fairy tales where there was none, but he could still be annoyed by the fact.

“A little convenient, isn’t it?” he raised an eyebrow in judgement, yet not turning around to face the blonde.

“What?” Sam shot defiantly, “You don’t believe in this stuff?”

They both knew he was referring to the soulmates paraphernalia. With his glum attitude and dark observations, Barnes did seem like the kind of people to discard the idea of a soulmate. Love that never changes, souls that bond… it did not sound like James Buchanan Barnes’ cup of tea.

“Not the whole part.” He admitted, “I think there’s a lot of bullshit to it.”

The smirk grew on Wilson’s face, “So you’re one of those wacko conspirationists?”

“What if I am?” Bucky shot back, just to mess with him.

He wasn’t though, or not when it came to soulmates, at least. NASA and the government, on the other hand? The man had seen too much inside Hydra to not believe any crazy theory to be possible. He dropped the subject and became more serious, shrugging a little.

“All I’m saying is there’s lots of rules and conditions, I mean, who makes the calls?” Bucky questioned, almost angry, “Who chooses everyone’s partners? And what if you hate your soulmate?”

“That’s the point.” Steve intervened with his bright optimism, “You won’t. They’re your other half.”

Bucky pursed his lips and picked up the remote to switch channels again.

“Sounds real dumb.”

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sam x bucky #sam/bucky #marvel fanfiction #sambucky fanfiction #tw: self harm #avengers fanfiction #soulmate au #soulmates bond through pain #sambucky au #angst #fluff #the falcon and the winter soldier #ftws #asgardianthot: flesh and bones

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pinkymoone · 3 years

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Savage Garden 🌱 The Gradual Chaos 🌹LEE HYEON-SOOK

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD !!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION

If you’ve kept up with my past posts, I’m obsessed with this manhwa- author LEE Hyeon Sook :) Another excellent story about a bunch of pretty boys in rich-private school with a TON of drama (the way I like it) and that cliche “I’m a girl but I have to go to an all-boy’s school undercover” BUT (don’t click away lol) as the story rolls along there is a gradual state of disorder and chaos from all the drama that happens to violate moral law. LEE took a “shoujo” idea, and twisted it into something much darker.

Rather than romance (although there is undoubtedly a romance between two brothers (Raymond/Euan Kensington) and the main girl, that goes undercover as a guy (Gabriel aka Jeremy) it leans more towards psychology.

Let’s talk about the Chain of Being (most present in Shakespeare). “The Great Chain of Being is a hierarchical structure of all matter and life, thought by medieval Christianity to have been decreed by God. The chain begins with God and descends through angels, humans, animals, and plants, to minerals” (as defined by our trusty Wiki). Now from the beginning of this story, the Chain of Being is already broken. Our protagonist is a poor, orphaned girl who was to be sent to become a maid for the rest of her life. However, her friend Jeremy, who was to have the same fate (but as a laborer) actually turned out to be related to a nobleman. Things were looking up for him, while Gabriel was falling more and more into a pit of hopelessness because of her fate. Yet God seemed to have noticed her behavior, as her life took a turn when Jeremy ate a berry that was actually poisonous.

Which brings us to Gabriel enrolling in a super rich-boy school as Jeremy in a deal with his “mother” (whose not really Jeremy’s mother) to trick her husband into thinking that Jeremy was still alive until she tells Gabriel to stop. So it was a pretty “one-minute of glory” kind of opportunity, but Gabriel can now finally escape her fate in becoming a poor maid. She cheated the whole system of the Chain of Being. Yet cheating such a system leads to serious consequences for the future (You’ll see).

With that, the juicy events of misunderstandings and relationships begin. Gabriel wasn’t actually involved in any until she became involved with Raymond and Euan. Although this story delved more into Raymond and Euan’s backstory, it just ultimately sums up to how Euan (older brother) wasn’t living the life he wanted, making Raymond carry all the burden of dealing with marriage and the troubles his older brother gets in to until he can’t run away from it no more. Raymond had his own share of problems that Euan was trying to keep as a secret and it turns out that Raymond killed his own mother. Their mother was broken from their father that ignored her and hung out with other girls, so Raymond being stressed with his mother’s behavior just saved her from the suffering after a gunshot. They’ve been through a lot... but Gabriel comes back with the several consequences of keeping up her facade.

A rich-boy friend of Gabriel, Arron, was actually dating a maid that turned out to be Gabriel’s friend back at the orphanage. With her friend that knew the true identity of Gabriel, she had to come clean. But it seemed her friend had bigger plans, blackmailing the ‘mother’ of Jeremy for money to escape with her true lover. But that plan didn’t succeed as the couple both committed suicide by eating those darn berries once again, breaking Gabriel’s heart and being in a state of danger now that the “mother” got the impression that Gabriel has revealed her real identity to everyone. Arron was absolutely in disarray, almost trying to kill Gabriel because he thought she was the reason his maid-girlfriend died, and she just seems to accept at this point. Why was she even living as Jeremy? It did very much seem that she was going to die at any point being someone that she wasn’t... however her friend, in shock at this acceptance, didn’t kill her.

But. A hit-man is now after Gabriel, so not very much came out of that mercy. On top of that, she seems to be gathering all the rich boys and making them fall in love with her but the time has come to run away. These empty love triangles, in my opinion were left in that state on purpose to show that some things just over power love- like survival?! Come on she’s about to be assassinated! This theme can also be seen by Will, a side-character that had a whole deal going on as well, but he was born sick. Knowing when he would die, he carelessly threw himself on a maid, showing that love is just pointless at times.The danger of being in love in Gabriel’s situation also just seems to block that route as well. Jeremy’s “father” gave Gabriel a ticket to study abroad, and using that, she takes the opportunity to escape after almost getting shot down by the hit-man of the “mother”. Raymond saved her, found out that she was a girl, and was going to accompany her to the train so that she may escape death. But, guess what? Jeremy’s “father” found out that his son was actually Gabriel, and sent a hit-man to kill her as well. Euan couldn’t accept the fact that Raymond was going to be near death by accompanying Gabriel, so he tricked him and went to accompany her instead. Euan also had feelings for her since the beginning of the series... but he also knew Raymond liked her as well.

Sigh...After all that. After Gabriel successfully escaped, Euan died. In fact, Jeremy’s “father” was responsible for his death that was so sudden. Then the author just ends with Raymond and Gabriel reuniting in the far future.

Many absolutely despised this ending. Was it too rushed? Seemed very thoughtless? But I argue that they just haven’t really thought about it. Being undercover as a poor girl that made her way to the top of an all-boy’s school that seems like an area only reserved for gods can only go so smoothly. Rich boys are still human, and rather wouldn’t they be more unhappy with their lives? Being controlled by their parents, they can’t marry freely, escape from work that comes with money (like inheriting a business?), they can’t get involved with maids or “normal” people for reputation, and they have to be reserved to keep secret of all the scandals and crimes that goes behind the curtains of wealthiness. Getting involved with these rich people can get you into some spicy troubles because wealthy people have the power to control the Chain of Being in which they sit at the very top. Now... Why did Euan die such a pointless death? Well... he was already unhappy with his life from the start. He wasn’t a good brother, he wanted to escape from his parent’s control which could easily be seen by his careless involvement in gay affairs at such a prestigious school (he also had someone that he was to marry), and he fell in love with Gabriel even though Raymond liked her as well. The ending was all for his rest. He accompanied Gabriel instead of Raymond to finally be a big brother and protect his brother as well as Gabriel. Gabriel appeared in front of him as an actual girl before they went to go escape. Euan was just satisfied with that. Love with Gabriel was absolutely impossible with him, so all that he could do was to protect her ‘til the end right? Euan already derailed from the train of his life probably when he first met Gabriel on the ground as he was shot by his ex-lover (he survived due to Gabriel and most likely fell in love with her then because she was a being that was totally unrelated to everything he hated about his life and her innocent kindness showed). Raymond, who was protected from becoming like his older brother most likely because of being too occupied with his own problems (like his identity crisis of killing his own mother, that blinded him of everything that was going on in their rich society) So Euan’s death made sense, he was just a lonely failure that sat on the King’s throne, later to be killed for his actually normal behavior. Really goes to show how being rich, being in high society, doesn’t ensure eternal happiness.

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