#but he's only known her for two months so honestly this makes more sense to me despite the fact that if there were an emergency | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bunny-xoxo · 7 months

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Take It Slow

MINORS DNI

Yuuta Okkotsu x afab!reader

wc: 4.1k

warning(s): established relationship, friends to lovers implied, heavy petting, fingering, masturbation, oral (reader receiving), choking (reader receiving), instance of breath play as a result, slight corruption kink from Yuuta, inexperienced reader, a single instance of slightly mean Yuuta, reader’s chest anatomy is not referenced/described

a/n: first NSFW piece in a VERY long time, was picked from the poll so here you go! hope you all enjoy :)! Also jus wanna say there is NOTHING weird or wrong about being a virgin at any age just so you guys know <33 🫶 also in case it needs to be said, this is an unrealistic portrayal of participating in kink for the first time! Boundaries and safety should be discussed at length before these things, but this is fiction so just wanted to make that clear 😭🤍 anyways enjoy <3

“Yuuta, stop! I don’t wanna talk about it!” You whined and buried your face further into his chest hoping to spare yourself of the embarrassment from the conversation you’re sure the two of you are about to have.

“Sweetheart, I’m your boyfriend, you knew it was gonna come up sooner or later. Besides, you’re literally the one who started the conversation! There’s no way you’re getting out of it now.” He let out a few boyish chuckles as he tried to pry your face away from him and out of the covers, just to see you pressing your lips together and closing your eyes in protest.

Sure, did you figure at some point the fact you haven’t gone farther than holding hands and sharing a few quick pecks was gonna be brought up? Probably. Especially after 4 whole months of being in a relationship? Maybe. Did you think it’d be right now? No! But is it your fault? Unfortunately, yes.

You’d known Yuuta long before the two of you started dating, having been apart of his friend group since freshman year of high school, and you’ve always had a secret crush on your friend. He was kind, never failed to make you smile, charmingly awkward (so charming you almost thought he faked it), & all things endearing. It wasn’t until a few months ago, now in your fourth and final year at University, that the two of you had confessed your feelings for the other. You had a bottle of tequila and Maki to thank for that.

And honestly, it couldn’t have been more perfect since. He was still sweeter than ever, a complete gentleman always, and even though it’d only been a couple months he’s never failed to make you constantly feel cared for and appreciated. There was only one problem: how were you supposed to tell him you’ve lied about every instance of you hooking up ever? And you haven’t even done so much as grind on someone, let alone fuck?

Maybe you could blame it on Yuuji, he’s the one who brought it up the first time anyways, innocently teasing you about how “you probably don’t even know how to give head”. He was 16, and all 16 year old boys are stupid as shit - besides Yuuta you suppose - so you’ll forgive him for it.

“Fuck you Yuuji, you’re just saying that cause you’re embarrassed you can’t last longer than 10 seconds inside a girl.”

“That literally happened once, and it was my first time! What, you’re telling me your first time was any better?”

It was just humiliating to think of looking at your friends, who definitely weren’t virgins anymore (besides Toge, maybe Toge, you never really trusted his whole story - but that’s beside the point), and tell them yeah no, I haven’t even seen a dick in person!

“No, he was ass, too.” You did your best to not draw attention to the way your palms were sweating profusely, fighting every instinct in you to wipe them off on the denim of your jeans.

“Yep, fits the bill.” Mai rolled her eyes at the thought of her own experience with a man, must’ve been pretty bad.

It’d make more sense to blame it on your age than Yuuji really, looking back it wouldn’t have been embarrassing for more than a couple weeks at most to have admitted you were a virgin when the matter was pressed. But that’s not what past you thought, and now it’s current you’s problem.

“I know, I know, but now I change my mind. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Your lips are pushed out and puckered slightly from the way Yuuta has your cheeks squished together - his best effort at making you smile right now.

He lets go of your cheeks to squeeze your shoulder gently, looking at your face for a moment before speaking softly.

“You know you can tell me anything, right? I’d never judge you for anything, make comments, nothing. Swear on it.” His voice dipped low with sincerity as he dramatically “crossed his heart and hoped to die”, it was a little goofy but that’s okay.

It was hard to speak while he was staring down at you like that, you knew he’d be nothing but gentle and kind, but the thought of actually talking about it made your stomach twist ‘n turn.

“Uh”, your voice trembled more than you��d like to admit and it did nothing to help your nerves, “I guess I asked what you’d do if I lied about not being a virgin cause, I’m, like, a virgin. Yeah.” You might’ve stumbled through your sentence, but you got there eventually.

His hand continued to rub circles on your skin as he spoke, “Well, I kind of figured that much when you first asked that, cause why else would you. Is that all you wanted to tell me though?”

Glancing up to meet his eyes, you were confused, visibly confused. Was that it? Was he really not gonna pester about why you lied, when you lied, or why you’re grown and still a virgin?

You squinted your eyes and hummed quietly, unreasonably suspicious of him - which he could clearly see.

Rolling his eyes playfully, he groaned out your name and pulled your face close to his so you couldn’t escape him even if you wanted to.

“Ya know, I was kind of talking about the first question you asked me. The one before you cut me off and changed the subject with the whole ‘I’m a virgin thing.’ I want to talk to you about that.”

You’re sure you were listening, it’s just that his face was so close to you that his breath was intermingling with yours, and you could practically taste the gum he was chewing while studying earlier. Not only that but his eyelashes were so pretty and doll like from this angle, looking up at him with his hands still on your cheeks. And his hands were so warm and soft - or was your face warm?

“Are you really ignoring me right now?” He wondered where your mind wandered to, cause clearly with the way you were looking at him with hearts in your eyes and invisible stars circling around your head - you couldn’t have been listening to him.

“Huh?”

Yeah, you definitely weren’t listening to him.

“Baby, are you okay with talking about what you asked me earlier? It’s okay if the answer is no.” His eyes were glued to your face as your own darted around the room.

You wanted to speak up but your throat was dry and your face was hot, and honestly it felt like your jaw was wired shut; a simple nod will have to do.

It felt like the room was getting smaller at the lack of a response from Yuuta until you felt him lean just a tad closer and gently press his lips to your cheek, “would you rather me show you how I take care of myself, or tell you?”

Oh.

Goosebumps rose along the back of your neck and down your arms at the soft volume of his voice in your ear and the way his breath fanned across your cheek.

“Both, please.” The tenor of your voice matched his as your hands fiddled nervously with the hem of your shirt, unsure what to with them while he moved to give you a kiss and sit up in front you.

The embarrassment of how you asked Yuuta how to give a hand job from earlier began to fade and be replaced with curiosity and eagerness at the sight of Yuuta reaching down to palm at himself.

It was still embarrassing, staring so shamelessly at his growing bulge in obvious intrigue and desire, but it was Yuuta, and Yuuta would never make you feel bad for having human urges and wanting him in this way.

Hesitantly, once he was ready, he tugged at the fabric of his pajama pants until he was fully exposed. He was happy you were so needy and awe struck at the sight of him, because your undivided attention to the way his cock sits in his hand is making him blush.

He spreads his legs just as much as the stretch of his bottoms let him while he dips forward to drip spit in the direction of his lap, his wrist catching the fabric of his shirt and exposing a tease of his lower stomach as he spreads the spit along the length of his cock. Leaning back into a more comfortable position, you take in the way he’s exposed himself to you, his stomach visibly clenching as he rubs his thumb along the slit at the tip of his cock.

It was firm in his hand, and you couldn’t help but squeeze your thighs together from where you sat watching at the vulgarity of it all. His loud and unashamed whimpering, his leaking and twitchy cock, and the way his eyes were never closed, always watching your face, when you would flick your own up to get a peek at his reactions.

You thought maybe he’d be a little more bashful, slow and careful with what he wanted to show you, but if anything, it seems like he’s been waiting for you to ask.

“You like watching me stroke my cock, hm baby?”

Your clit began to throb at the sudden recognition and reminder that you’re involved just as much as he is, as well as the sound of him speaking, and speaking directly at you.

“Answer me angel, even a nod’s okay. Wanna make sure my baby’s feeling good.” His voice was hoarse, but soft, and the sentiment did nothing more than increase your arousal and send butterflies rampant in your stomach.

Settling further into the situation, and gaining some confidence in return, you make your way over to him slowly as you nod your head.

“Want you to tell me, Yuuta.” Your voice is small, quiet.

“Tell you what, pretty?”

He’s got an air of fake innocence around him as he speaks but you couldn’t care less when you’re so close that you can hear his soft and barely audible panting, and smell the light scent of musk and sweat begin to gather along his clothed skin from his excitement and exertion. You’d give him anything he wants at this point, and you’re certain he knows it.

“Yuuta,”, you whine and move in his direction, hovering over his lap with his cock not quite close enough to press against your covered cunt as he strokes himself, “want you to tell me how it feels.”

The pair of you groan together at the lewdness of it all, both of you reveling in the freedom to finally explore your deep attraction for another, no longer embarrassed or fearful to admit or indulge in it.

“Fuck, feels so good baby. ‘M so hard with you watching me like this. You like knowing you’ve got me and my cock this needy without even touching me?” Whining at his response, you lean into him and sloppily place your lips on his, ignoring the urge to smack him on his chest as he chuckles a, “yeah?”, into your mouth at your eagerness.

You both kiss, messy and loud, as you reach and drag your hand down his torso, lightly drawing circles onto Yuuta’s exposed lower stomach with your fingertips.

A strained groan comes from him at the sensation, sighing into your mouth as he sits up to be impossibly closer to you. It was all too much.

He could feel the heat from your body as your thighs squeeze him from each side, hear the crude noises your pussy makes each time you adjust, and he could just imagine how needy your poor cunt would smell. Feeling his stomach tighten and his head get cloudy, he knew he was close, and he wanted you to watch.

“Fuck, you’re gonna make me come baby.” Yuuta’s lips were soft and slick with spit as he spoke against yours, while you felt a hand slide from the back of your neck up to the top of your head, turning you to face down and stare at the way his fist was feverishly tugging at his cock.

“Want my sweetheart to watch how hard they’re gonna make me come, how good they’re taking care of me and my cock.” His voice was strained and low, out of breath, and if you weren’t desperate to watch his cock get some release, you would have protested at the sudden lack of kissing.

“Please, need you to show me baby.” You whined and wrapped your hand around Yuuta’s wrist gently, moving in time with the way he was stroking himself.

Hearing your voice was all he needed to let himself go, throwing his head back and getting his sternum sticky with cum as it stained his t-shirt. His balls and cock twitched as he slowed down his movements, whining when he rubs the tip once more, not wanting it to be over. If it wasn’t for the way you were still hovering over his lap, he would’ve let himself stay like this for a while longer, catching his breath and resting his eyes.

But he could see how bad you needed him, your chest heaving and your body hot against his.

Pulling you into his chest, he speaks against your shoulder softly between gentle kisses, “Want me to take care of you too, baby?”

Your body jolts at the prospect, nerves riddling your muscles and your stomach, making you feel almost weak. The thought made you self-conscious just as much as it made you feel exhilarated, but you couldn’t deny the way your cunt was throbbing and hot. You needed him bad, and you could trust Yuuta. You always could.

Words were too hard, like they often were with him in intimate moments like this (the thought of your first date briefly crosses your mind), so you substitute a pleading “yes” for another messy, longing kiss.

“I got you angel,”, was all he said before you were leaned back on the pillows, Yuuta hovering above you with soft wisps of his hair tickling the sides of your face.

You knew you could trust Yuuta, he always knows what his baby needs.

Delicate fingers graze across your side until they reach the waist band of your bottoms, running back and forth along the top as Yuuta chuckles softly at the way your stomach twitches, waiting for a sign of permission.

A warm hand tugging Yuuta’s in the direction of your heat is all he needs before sliding his hand between your thighs to rub heavy and slow circles onto your clit beneath your shorts.

“Oh, god.” You breathe out and close your eyes, letting him take his time in making you feel good.

Your hole ached every time he dipped a finger down to tease your entrance, gathering more of your arousal to rub into your puffy clit. He was such a tease even when he didn’t mean to be, couldn’t he tell you needed him inside? Can’t he imagine how empty your poor hole feels? Doesn’t he know how often you’ve fucked yourself with your fingers or favorite toy, imagining it’s really him inside instead?

“Yuuta.”

The desperate call of his name makes his stomach flip, eyes quickly searching across your face for a sign of discomfort, “‘M here baby, what do you need?”

Sitting up slowly, your face stops inches from his as you shimmy your way out of your bottoms. Laying back down, you open your legs wide and spread your pussy for Yuuta to see, another hand rubbing at your clit slowly.

“‘S too empty, baby.” You fight back the hot wave of embarrassment that floods your body at your crudeness and use all your will power to stay still, cunt on full display, as you watch Yuuta’s breath quicken and his hand snake down to tug at his cock again despite the slight sensitivity he’s still feeling.

He doesn’t give you much time to linger on your sheepishness before you’re tugged further down the bed by the grip he takes on both of your thighs, his tongue impatiently shoved into your mouth with a loud whimper. You both stay like this a little while longer than you would have liked, his tongue running along the inside of your mouth before he has yours between his lips, switching between sucking on it loudly and licking at the saliva that drips down onto your chin.

God, he was so dirty.

Unable to beg for more, you attempt to wrap your legs up and around his midsection, hoping he’ll catch the hint, but instead you’re stopped by a firm placement of his hand on your inner thigh.

“‘Scuse me, beautiful.” His voice is hoarser than before as he speaks softly against your neck, leaving hasty kisses on any exposed skin while scooting down the bed, landing with his face between your legs.

You could have cried when you felt his tongue poke and prod at your hole, pushing in and moaning loudly before licking long and slow up to your clit. His tongue flicks back and forth as he keeps your lips spread with one hand, deciding to then take his time licking and dragging his tongue between every fold before coming back to suck on your clit.

A strangled groan vibrates deep within your chest as you tug on his hair to bring him impossibly closer to your cunt, as if he needed to devour you whole, while you no longer fought the way your hips were grinding down and writhing beneath Yuuta’s grip. It’s not until you finally feel a finger push inside, slender and slow, that you begin to incoherently beg and whine for more.

It doesn’t take many half-spoken pleas for him to get the idea you need more.

“Ah, Yuuta!” You whimper and internally battle between trying to squirm away and press yourself even further into his mouth, overwhelmed by the pleasure of his two fingers inside pumping in and out of you with his mouth nipping and sucking at your clit.

He sits up, kneeling between you to watch the way you take what he’s giving you.

“Yeah?”, his voice is uncharacteristically cocky and out of breath, “Feels good, baby?”

He was going to be the death of you.

If it wasn’t for the way Yuuta was placed between your thighs, your efforts to clamp them shut would be working. It was all too much, but so fucking good.

“Ah- fuck, oh, oh my god - Yuuta please make me come. Wanna come so bad!” You arch your back and attempt to sit up to reach him, needing him closer, but a hand on your chest pushes you back down and slides up until it rests wrapped around your throat.

“Mmm, I’ll give it to you baby, just want you stay right there. Wanna see what you look like when I make you finish for the first time.” His hand wasn’t holding tight, it was merely keeping you in your spot beneath him, but you wanted him to grab you tighter.

With a shaky hand, you reached to hold onto his wrist like your life depended on it,

“Please choke me.”

His fingers stopped curling into you for maybe a second before he continued, his mouth parting slightly as a gentle moan fell from his lips.

Did you really just ask him that?

You closed your eyes in bliss when he squeezed gently, instinctually doing your best to grind down onto his hand, but it wasn’t enough.

“T-tighter, please.”

It took everything in you to open your eyes and see his reaction, a slight amount of shame building up in your stomach for requesting something that felt so dirty - but all embarrassment fizzled out where it sat when you saw the way he was staring down at you.

Nothing was said as he squeezed you tighter and tighter until you let out a choked moan, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

“Tap me twice if it’s too much.” You’re not sure when he leaned down to speak lowly to you, but his breath fanning across the side of your neck and face sends chills down your body.

You’re so lost in the pleasure of it all you can only nod when he takes your hand to show you exactly how he wants you to tap against his wrist if you can’t take it anymore.

He sits back up and smiles to himself as he takes you in. You look so.. so.. so pathetic like this. And what, all because he’s got two of his fingers fucking your pussy? Cause he’s the first person to ever make you feel this way?

The latter thought makes his dick twitch and pick up the pace of his fingers until even you can register the crude squelching coming from between your thighs. Thankfully for you, you’re too full of bliss to care - fuck you were so close, and he knows it, too.

Your eyes shoot open when his grip is tightened even more, making it so you can only take in shallow and shaky breaths.

“Gonna have to come around my fingers if you want me to loosen up.” It wasn’t a question of how much you could take, it was a matter of how far you wanted him to go to make you see stars. And apparently this was it with the way he could feel you clench around him at his words, your thighs starting to thrash and shake.

“Fuck, you’re so dirty. My dirty little cunt, huh?” His voice was so misleadingly soft. His register was still high, slightly whiny, but you knew it was all to mock you and your fucked out state. If anything, Yuuta was the one being so dirty, and you were thankful for it.

It was hot, so hot, and you could hear your heart pounding in your head, and you could feel how tight you were clenching around his fingers.

Unable to fight off the feeling and attempt to last a second longer, your body shook as you came hard around Yuuta’s fingers, your nails digging into the forearm of the hand still wrapped around your throat. He kept it there for a brief few moments into your orgasm before letting go to immediately bring his fingers down to your clit, helping you ride out your orgasm for as long as you could handle.

The first full breath you took was loud and followed by an even louder mantra of thank you’s and please’s. It took a soft and slow kiss from Yuuta to quiet your whimpers, and warm, and undeniably semi-sticky hands, rubbing tenderly into your thighs and arms.

You both stayed like that for a while, Yuuta above you with his hands rubbing your muscles carefully, kissing slow and catching your breath while sharing gentle sentiments of love and reassurance. Much to your surprise, you were the first to speak a full sentence as you both relaxed into a more comfortable position.

“Ya know”, your voice had a slight hoarseness to it now, most likely from your earlier activities, “I don’t think I like knowing someone else has gotten to see you like this.”

He brings his head up to rest on his palm with a crooked smile, leaning forward until his lips ghosted over yours as he spoke,

“Yeah? You the jealous type baby?”

This time, you did smack him. And hard.

“Ow?” Yuuta pouts, pretending to be appalled, and rubs circles into his chest as if you had actually smacked him hard enough to feel like anything more than a friendly pat.

His request for an apology is brushed off and amended with a kiss, from which you receive no protest, as you sink further into the comfort of his embrace and, now dirty but once very clean, sheets.

“How about we clean up n get some rest, okay baby?” He sounds distant and quiet when he speaks, his heartbeat louder in your ears than his voice with your head pressed into his chest.

Sighing and shaking his head, he leans down to kiss the top of your head with a small smile. Laundry and a shower can wait a few more minutes if it means he gets to have you like this for even a little bit longer.

——————

taglist: @plutowrites @alert-arlert (I think you asked to be tagged in this??? If not I’m sorry !! This was like a literal year ago I started this so 😭🫶) @touyaz (only cause you liked the snippet 🤭) if you’d like to be added just lemme know!!

#tw choking #tw breath play #jjk smut #yuuta x reader #yuuta smut #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuuta okkotsu x you #yuuta x you #yuuta x y/n #yuuta okkotsu smut

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thebearchives · 1 year

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to live a lifetime with you | CL16

PAIRING: charles leclerc x fem!reader

REQUESTED: [] yes [X] no

WORD COUNT: 7.8k

SYNOPSIS: after twenty-six years together, it only made sense that charles would want to live out the rest of his life with you by his side.

WARNINGS: mentions of death (jules + charles' father), mattia being a decent human being at the end (sorry its for plot only), probably so many sentences that make no sense, time skips galore, me writing about love without having ever experienced it, french translations

as always, don't be a ghost reader!

to say that you and charles were childhood sweethearts would be an understatement, really.

you and charles had known each other since the two of you were born basically, with your parents moving in next door to the leclercs not long after your birth. charles had only just started standing on his own two feet at seven months, while your own six-month-old self had discovered the art of scooting your bum around to get from one place to another.

at the time, lorenzo was absolutely obsessed with all things relating to his baby brother, and when he saw the new neighbours walk into the empty house with a small baby girl nibbling on a cookie, he was ecstatic, running up to his mom and telling her that they could set up play dates for charles and you. honestly, if it wasn’t for lorenzo’s insistence, you were sure that you and charles would not have been where you were today.

it helped that your parents and charles’ parents became fast friends. growing up, your families did everything together. vacations, celebrations, holidays, anything and everything you could think of. the two of you grew up sharing everything, from toys to food, and everything in between. the only thing you hadn’t shared with one another was the fact that charles had a brother, and you did not.

when arthur was born, you had cried to your parents every day and night about wanting a baby sister. as a soon-to-be three-year-old, you had no idea that your parents were unable to have more children, receiving nothing but sad smiles when you continuously asked for another sibling.

nonetheless, you had quickly taken to arthur leclerc. and much like lorenzo had felt for charles, you and charles felt for arthur. instead of playing with charles, you were now focused on the new baby in pascale’s arms and how tiny he was. looking back, pascale would always reminisce how you and charles were horrible for her heart when arthur was a baby, always handing the small boy even smaller toys. arthur himself would always bring up the times the two of you tried to “kill” him as a baby, always finding it funny how you and charles defended yourselves.

you’d learned quite early on that charles was a strange kid. and rude, if your four-year-old self were to add. the two of you would always play together, and while you two shared all your toys with one another, charles drew the line at your barbies.

on his fourth birthday, pascale and hervé had bought charles a remote control car, and he had instantly rushed off to go play with it, pulling you along. he had run over your barbie doll that day, after having fought with you about how it was his birthday and he didn’t want to play with girly dolls. a few days later, charles had ‘accidentally’ ripped ken’s head off of his body, leaving you in a mess of distressed sobs and tears.

lorenzo could still remember the way you had knocked and entered his room, fat tears rolling down your chubby cheeks as you presented the headless figurine to him and jules who had been hanging out with the eldest leclerc. you had begged either of them to fix it, and while jules took the doll from your hands, lorenzo went off to find his younger brother and scold him for ruining your toys. instead of in his room, lorenzo found charles leaning over arthur’s crib, explaining to the youngest how cars were much cooler than your barbies. arthur, of course, had no idea what his brother had been telling him, too focused on figuring out how he could eat the plastic car in his hand.

since then, however, charles had been a lot more willing to play with your dolls, and soon enough, the driver’s seat in his remote control car was filled with your new ken doll that the leclercs had bought for your own birthday. charles would drive his car up to your small dollhouse, and then the passenger seat would get filled as well, with your favourite barbie doll sitting next to ken as they drove off to charles’ racetrack set up.

life was always filled with compromises and balance for charles and yourself, and as you two got older, your friendship became stronger and less of the cat and mouse relationship you had when you were four. when you two started school, you were lucky enough to be put in the same class, and at every parent-teacher conference, your teacher always said the same thing to your parents; vos enfants parlent toujours entre eux, jamais aux autres. your children are always talking to each other, never to others.

the two of you became attached at the hip, so one can imagine the turmoil you felt when charles decided to take up racing like jules, and left you all alone at your shared desk while he karted along the tracks of france. you were even more upset when charles came back talking about a french boy named pierre. you had decided then, with both jules and pierre taking charles away from you, that you hated french people.

during the time that charles began karting, your parents were often asked to house either lorenzo or arthur, sometimes even both, while pascale and hervé took the middle child to his races. you’d grown especially close to arthur and lorenzo during those times, and your parents had countless pictures of you and the youngest leclerc playing dress-up before bedtime.

when you met pierre, you had given him the cold shoulder, much like you had been giving jules whenever he came to visit. you were especially angry when pierre had been invited to join your vacations, but you couldn’t help but feel bad when charles looked at both of you with a sad look on his face. he wanted both of his friends to be friends too.

more years passed, and the resentment you had towards both frenchmen faded as you realized just how happy racing made charles. and when arthur started joining his brother some days, you never gave yourself the chance to feel upset, already begging your parents to let you miss a day of school so you could watch both brothers race on the same track.

you were twelve when you decided that you wanted to be involved in charles’ racing life. having grown up with hervé leclerc telling you and his kids stories about his own racing days, and having seen the leclercs and the gasly boy race on many tracks, it felt almost inevitable that you would follow a route in a similar field as them.

you had been sitting in your science class when you had your epiphany. you had listened in on jules and lorenzo talking about racing and the physics behind racing the night before, and when your teacher mentioned the word physics during the lesson, you realized that maybe, instead of racing yourself, you could join charles behind the scenes.

as charles made his way up the ranks in racing, you put your head down and studied hard to get the highest grades in your class. long gone were the days when your teachers would complain to your parents about you and charles talking so much, instead, they now focused on how you excelled in science.

the leclercs had been just as happy for your accomplishments as they had been for their own family members. if anything, lorenzo couldn’t help but feel protective over you, going as far as to sit charles down and help him realize just how much of your life you were changing to fit in with his lifestyle.

after that talk, thirteen-year-old charles spent hours in your room asking you if you were sure that engineering was what you wanted to do, and that he didn’t want to ruin your dreams just because of his own. you had giggled at his ever so slightly puberty-ridden voice, explaining just how sure you were that your future was going to be in engineering.

when puberty hit the two of you, your relationship dynamic changed ever so slightly. no more sleepovers in the same room, or talking about everything that happened to one another. suddenly, you’d find yourself laying in your bed, a science textbook laying next to you haphazardly as you wondered if the shock you felt from charles’ fingers brushing against your arm was static electricity or if you were experiencing the same feelings as the girls in the books you read did. charles himself, wasn’t fairing all too well, blushing from time-to-time when pierre would call you his girl friend–yes, with the space.

but alas, the two of you were oblivious to the growing and changing feelings between you two, brushing it off as just friends being friends. your parents had all exchanged glances when they caught you two sharing shy smiles, and lorenzo and jules couldn’t help but feel excited for the younger boy. arthur had gone as far as asking charles why his cheeks were red after you had left to go to the bathroom. the youngest leclerc had been pushed off the sofa and could be seen with teary eyes and a bruised elbow in the pictures from that barbecue night.

you were sixteen when you realized you harboured feelings for your best friend. you watched from the sidelines as charles transitioned to single-seaters, won races and made podiums with fortec. your realization had hit you while you watched him land his first podium, hugging pascale in absolute elation. the mother of the boy would later go on to tell you she could see the look on your face that day, and how she knew instantly that you knew you were in love.

you never reacted on your feelings, not wanting to ruin your relationship with charles. to him, you two were just best friends, and you would rather be his friend than lose him altogether. after all, losing him didn’t just mean living life without charles by your side.

losing charles meant losing all the leclercs; pascale, hervé, lorenzo, and arthur. losing him meant losing pierre. losing jules, the dumb frenchman who was smart enough to figure out how you felt for the leclerc boy. the one that always pushed your buttons yet was there to help you out just like he had done all those years ago with your broken ken doll. and yet, even without telling charles how you truly felt, you ended up losing jules anyway.

that day, you’d been at the leclerc household like always, watching the japan grand prix with the whole family. as tradition, you and charles had been wearing the team shirts that jules had given everyone at the start of the season. your eyes had been stuck to the screen as you watched jules’ crash, heart instantly plummetting to the bottom of your stomach as everyone let out gasps.

that same night, you had begged lorenzo to let you go with him when he left to go see jules’, but he had given you a sad smile and told you that he’d call you as soon as he was with jules so that you could talk to him as soon as he was able to. neither of your parents said anything when you followed charles into his room at night, holding his body tightly as you prayed that jules would be alright. no one said anything the next morning when they noticed the dark patches on your shoulder, or how your shirt had been crinkled as if someone had been holding onto it all night.

on july 17, you had decided that you would forever keep your feelings to yourself. losing jules was like losing your older brother, and you were sure that you would never be able to handle his loss along with the loss of charles. as you stood in your black dress, you had cried silently, apologizing to jules for going against his wishes and hiding your feelings once more. your heart ached when charles cried beside you, reaching a hand out to hold his.

charles and yourself never went back to normal, for normal included lorenzo and jules picking at the two of you while your cheeks flushed red, or sending an unsuspecting arthur to spy on you two to see what you guys were doing. instead, the two of you had found a new normal, one that involved sharing sleepless nights reminiscing in your memories with jules, falling asleep in each other’s arms.

days turned into weeks, which turned into months and years, and your feelings for your next door neighbour continued to grow. charles, however, remained entirely oblivious, both to your feelings and his own. he had been making big moves in the racing world, winning the title in gp3, and moving onto his first season in f2. you’d celebrated his entry into the f1 world as a haas developmental driver, and in turn, he celebrated the completion of your first year of university.

things were finally starting to look up, and then hervé fell ill. you watched from the back of the hospital room as his eyes lost a little bit of life every day. you watched as charles would hide his tears and smile at his dad, hoping to see him back in good health.

for your entire summer break, you’d find yourself staying at the leclerc household for multiple hours a day, sleeping over most of the nights. charles distanced himself from you, focusing on his racing, recounting his races with hervé for hours until a nurse would come in and tell him he’d have to leave. you couldn’t find it within yourself to be upset with him, knowing that right now, he didn’t need you, he needed his dad.

during this time, you had gotten exceptionally close to arthur, finding him sitting in his dark room crying silently as he thought about his dad. you would lay with him at night, letting the youngest wrap his arms around you while he shared how scared he was. you wished you could take his pain away, but you knew you couldn’t, instead opting to wipe away his tears and kissing his forehead.

you watched charles waste away, wishing you could reach out to him every time you saw him. he had lost his smile, the shine in his eyes dimming with every hour he spent watching his father whither away. by the end of the second week, you had decided you couldn’t simply watch him from afar, letting yourself into his room one night when you heard loud sniffles.

he didn’t move when you rested your hand against his back, and he didn’t resist when you pulled him into your side. at the feeling of your arms around him, his sniffles turned into broken cries and he sobbed against your clavicle. you stayed quiet, letting the boy blubber out words about how he tried so hard to stay strong but that he couldn’t anymore. you didn’t tell him it would be okay, you knew it wouldn’t. hervé was getting sicker and you feared that you would all experience loss once more.

when he had calmed down, the two of you laid down in his bed, charles’ head resting against your chest. his fingers fiddled with the bottom of your shirt, touching the skin of your back every so often.

“je lui ai dit que j'avais signé avec ferrari,” his voice was quiet, barely louder than a whisper. i told him i signed with ferrari,

your hand found its way to his head, twirling the strands with your fingers, “comment a-t-il réagi?” how did he react?

charles’ voice broke, “il était si heureux pour moi,” his arms tightened around you, “mais je lui ai menti.” he was so happy for me, but i lied to him.

“maman est contrariée, elle a dit que je n'aurais pas dû mentir,” he sniffled, “mais je lui ai dit que j'avais signé pour 2019. je ne voulais pas mentir alors je me suis donné du temps. je veux que cela se produise.” mom is upset, said i shouldn’t have lied, but i told him i signed for 2019. i didn’t want to lie so i gave myself time. i want to make it happen.

“tu as le temps, char,” you used your hand to pull his head back, “tu as deux ans pour en faire une réalité.” you’ve got time, char, you’ve got two years to make it a reality.

his eyes glistened with tears, “mais c’est ferrari.” but it’s ferrari.

“je suis un fils horrible,” he looked away, “je lui ai menti.” i’m a horrible son, i lied to him

“tu n'es pas un fils horrible, charles,” you moved to hold his face in your hands, “tu ne l'es pas.” you are not a horrible son, charles. you’re not.

“je ne veux pas qu'il s'inquiète,” his tears slipped under your palms, “je veux qu'il parte en sachant que je peux subvenir aux besoins de notre famille.” i just don’t want him to worry. want him to leave knowing i can support our family.

your heart broke for him, “charles.”

“je veux juste qu'il soit fier de moi.” i just want to make him proud.

you leaned forward and placed gentle kisses against his closed eyelids, “il est et sera toujours fier de toi.” he has and will always be proud of you.

a week later, you stood a few feet away from charles, tears spilling from your eyes as you wore another black dress. hervé had passed away with his family by his side, telling his boys to look after their mother. your own parents stood silently beside you, tears slipping down their own faces as well.

after the service, you sat with the leclerc boys on the porch outside. charles’ arm pressed against yours, while arthur sat between your legs, head in your hands where you combed through his hair. lorenzo sat near the front door, keeping an eye out for his mother who sat on the couch, resting against your own mother. not a word was shared, all of you mourning in silence.

your relationship with charles turned delicate, walking on eggshells whenever you wanted to talk to him. charles was stuck in his head, he had a job to do. you had pushed and pushed to tell him to not race in baku until he exploded, yelling at you for not understanding.

“je n'ai pas le temps de ne pas courir, y/n!” his hands were tugging at his hair, “je lui ai promis que j'avais une place chez ferrari mais je ne l'ai pas. je ne peux pas me permettre de ne pas courir, je dois aller chez ferrari.” i don't have the time to not race, y/n! i promised him i had a spot in ferrari but i don't. i can't afford to not race, i need to get to ferrari.

and so you watched him race his heart out in baku, joining the leclerc family on their trip to azerbaijan. you watched as his sadness and despair poured into his racing. he was fast, enough speed to win the race he had dedicated to his father. his eyes had met yours while he stood at the podium and he felt himself look at you differently for the first time, his father’s words ringing in his head as he watched you smile at him with teary eyes.

it had been a couple days after charles had told hervé about his signing with ferrari when hervé asked charles to sit down and talk with him. his voice was weak and his hand shook as he reached out to grab his son’s hand.

he had smiled, “mon garçon, maintenant que tu as signé avec ferrari, pourquoi ne pas enfin te poser?” my boy, now that you've signed with ferrari, why don't you finally settle down?

“se poser?” charles had been confused, “papa, je n'ai même pas encore 20 ans.” settle down? dad, i’m not even 20 yet.

“l'amour n'a pas d'âge requis,” hervé’s laugh turned into a cough. love has no required age.

“je ne suis même pas amoureux, qu'est-ce que tu dis?” charles helped his father drink water. i'm not even in love, what are you saying?

hervé leaned back, giving his son a fond look, “mon garçon, tu es amoureux de ta meilleure amie depuis que tu l'as laissée jouer avec tes voitures télécommandées.” my boy, you have been in love with your best friend ever since you let her play with your remote control cars.

charles had since waved off his dad’s words, blaming them on his sickness. he had got it all wrong, you were his friend. nothing more, nothing less.

yet as he stood there, looking at you for the first time since you had fought about this very race, he realized that there was something about you that made him feel like no one else could. is this what love is, papa?, he had asked as he held the trophy over his head.

less than a month later, you found yourself sitting in your room, smiling down at your phone. charles had sent you a picture of himself, dressed in ferrari red, ready to participate in the mid-season testing. charles was almost there, another step closer to his dreams.

another month passed and now, you were preparing for your move to university dorms, third year looming around the corner. charles asked if you would like to go to mala beach with him. you’d agreed and the two of you sat in front of the bright turquoise sea, a comforting silence between you two.

“j'ai été signé,” charles had broken the silence. i got signed.

you whipped your head to him, “to ferrari?!”

charles let out a small laugh, shaking his head before looking back at you, “sauber, i’ll be starting with them in the new season.”

“c'est incroyable, char,” you gave him a wide smile, “you’re finally in f1.” that’s amazing.

charles returned your smile with one a bit smaller, “just hope i can make it to ferrari next season.”

“you will, i believe you can do it,” you leaned over and nudged me, “save me a spot in the pit wall, yeah? i’ll be waiting on your call for the 2020 season.”

charles had laughed, “of course, i will. lorenzo would have my head if i didn’t.”

“lorenzo is a smart man.”

the conversation died and you two focused back on the view in front of you. charles was nervous. he had invited you to the beach to do more than just tell you about his career. he wanted to confess to you.

the last few months had been painful— hard— but you made it better with just a single look. after the race in baku, charles realized that he had loved you for a lot longer than he had let on. he loved you when you wore his shirt to school, running late after a sleepover. he loved you when he walked in on you and jules talking about the physics of racing. he loved you when he watched you help arthur with his math homework. he loved you when you had held him close and kissed his puffy eyes, and every single time you told him you were proud of him.

he loved you since the moment he realized what love was, even if he thought it was platonic at the time.

a finger pressed against the middle of his eyebrows, “vous réfléchissez très fort, perceval.” you’re thinking quite hard.

charles’ brows unfurrowed, but a pout graced his lips at the sound of his middle name. ever since you learned of his full name, you had taken to calling him by a different name for certain situations. perceval was for when you were teasing him. he had complained many times that he hated it when you called him that, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t find it endearing all at the same time. he reached up to grab your hand and pulled it between both his hands, turning so that the two of you were sat across one another rather than beside.

he let out a small sigh, eyes focused on your hand in his, “je veux te dire quelque chose.” i want to tell you something.

you, noticing his nerves, didn’t say anything, only nodding.

you squeezed his hand and he continued, “je veux te dire quelque chose, mais j'ai peur.” i want to tell you something, but i’m scared.

your grip tightened slightly, “pourquoi as-tu peur?” why are you scared?

“j'ai peur de te perdre après avoir dit ce que j'ai à dire.” i'm scared i'll lose you after i say what i have to say.

you felt your heart race at his words, hands growing clammy. for years, you had repeated those same words to yourself, vowing yourself to silence regarding the topic. did he finally feel the same?

you willed yourself to stay calm, “you could never lose me, charles. jamais.” ever.

he gave you a nervous smile, eyes meeting yours for the first time since the new conversation rose. you gave him a soft smile, encouraging him to go on. you needed to hear him say the words first.

“quelques jours après avoir dit à papa que j'avais signé, il m'a dit qu'il était temps pour moi d'avouer mes sentiments,” charles looked away from you, “à l'époque, je n'avais aucune idée de ce dont il parlait.” a couple days after i told dad about me signing, he told me that it was time for me to come clean about my feelings…at the time i had no idea what he was talking about.

“il m'a dit que j'étais amoureuse,” he told me i was in love. charles spoke and your heart went wild. was this really happening?

“et quand j'ai demandé avec qui, il a dit que c'était toi.” and when i asked with who, he said it was you.

you blinked at him. charles’ eyes darted back to your face, his hands squeezing yours.

“et depuis, j'ai réalisé qu'il avait raison,” he gave you a soft smile, “c'est toi. ca a toujours été toi.” and since then, i realized he was right. it's you. it's always been you.

you felt like the small waves lapping at the sand in front of you suddenly turned large and splashed down on you. you felt like your world had just gotten a thousand times brighter. a weight you never even realized you were carrying, lifted off your chest. you felt like you were breathing right for the first time.

“y/n l/n, i love you. looking back, i have loved you from the moment you filled my memories,” his eyes searched yours, “tu as été la seule constante dans ma vie, et ce que j'ai ressenti pour toi a toujours été le même.” you've been the one constant in my life, and the way i've felt for you has always been the same.

“je sais maintenant que c'est de l'amour, et j'ai vraiment besoin que tu le saches avant que nous passions au prochain chapitre de nos vies.” i know now it's love, and i really need you to know that before we move on to the next chapter of our lives.

it was as if his words had been kissing you, leaving you breathless the moment he pulled away and stopped talking. charles had just told you he loved you. charles marc hervé perceval leclerc had just confessed to you.

a beat passed and he lightly tugged on your hand, the hopeful look in his eyes dimming slightly. you realized you had not responded.

“you love me?” after nearly five years of hiding your feelings from him, charles had just told you that he had felt the same. you couldn’t believe it.

he nodded slightly, “i do. je t’aime beaucoup.” i love you a lot.

you let the words sink in. he loved you. he loves you.

charles opened his mouth, “it’s okay if you don–”

“i love you, too,” you had let out a breathless laugh, “mon dieu, charles, je t'aime depuis que nous avons seize ans, quand tu as eu ton premier podium avec fortec.” my god, i have loved you since we were sixteen, when you got your first podium with fortec.

“fortec?” his eyes were wide as he realized how long it had been, “je suis un tel connard. tu as caché tes sentiments pendant si longtemps.” i am such an asshole. you've been hiding your feelings for so long.

his eyes looked watery with love, his forehead coming to rest against yours, “je suis désolé qu'il m'ait fallu si longtemps pour réaliser mes sentiments pour toi.” i'm sorry it took me so long to realize my feelings for you.

you smiled at him softly, your own eyes tearing up just as much as his, “mieux vaut tard que jamais.” better late than never.

to say your relationship with charles changed drastically after the confession would be a lie. the two of you spent the rest of your day at the beach wrapped up in each other’s arms, and charles had kissed your forehead before he drove the two of you home. the entire night you felt like you couldn’t sleep, and instead you spent your entire night texting charles with your curtains pulled shut, not wanting charles to see how wide you smiled with every text.

and although you two had confessed, you had neglected to discuss what would happen next.

charles had texted you at half past midnight the night before you left for university, asking for you to come outside. when you came out to your porch, he stood there with a smile on his face and an offer to go to the park you two used to play at as kids.

you were on the swings when he had asked you, sitting side by side and swinging back and forth slowly. you had been focused on the movement of your feet, trying to swing just slightly higher than charles.

“tu dirais oui si je te demandais d'être ma petite amie?” would you say yes if i asked you to be my girlfriend?

whenever charles reminisced this moment, he would say that the look you gave him when you registered his question had been the cutest doe-eyed look ever. your eyes were wide and your eyebrows had raised slightly. your lips were parted in the smallest of round shapes, and you blinked before responding.

“je pense que oui,” you slowed your swinging slightly, eyes bright with excitement, “veux-tu l'essayer?” i think i would. do you want to try it?

charles had given you a cheeky smile, slipping out of his swing and resting on one knee in front of you. he had gotten down wrong with his right knee kissing the ground, but you said nothing as your lips quirked into a smile.

“y/n l/n,” he reached for your hands and you let him grab them, “me ferais-tu l'honneur d'être ma charmante petite amie?” would you do the honour of being my lovely girlfriend?

you pretended to think about it, the hum turning into a giggle at the way charles’ face dropped in annoyance, “j’aimerais.” i would love to.

and much to the annoyance of charles’ nosy brothers, you two hadn’t kissed to set the new relationship in stone, instead wrapping each other into a tight hug, one where your feet left the ground, before charles placed a gentle kiss to your temple.

the two of you had been dating for four months before you finally had your first kiss. charles had asked you out on a date on christmas eve, and had been rather disappointed when it began raining halfway through. it was cheesy, you knew it, charles knew it, and anyone and everyone who watched you tug charles out from under the canopy and into the rain knew it too, but neither of you seemed to care.

charles’ cheeks and nose were slightly rosy from the mixture of cold raindrops and wind, and you were sure you weren’t fairing much better. your hands had wrapped around his neck as his found home against your hips.

“i’ve dreamt of kissing under the rain ever since i watched ‘a cinderella story’,” you had laughed, throwing your head back into the rain.

charles had pulled you closer, “well, ma princesse, i’m here to make your dreams a reality.”

sharing a kiss under the rain was cold, obviously— you couldn’t help the shiver that travelled up your spine when charles’ cold lips pressed themselves against your own— but at the same time, it was so warm. you felt like someone had lit a candle inside of you, warming you up from the inside out. when you pulled away, the two of you couldn’t help but let out soft laughs, hearts racing faster than any car charles had ever drove.

the two of you had spent the rest of the year laying under warm blankets, with a cacophony of coughs and sneezes being your main form of communication.

your third year in university was split halfway between studying or taking exams, and watching charles’ races or crying to him over facetime because engineering was already so hard. as much as you had wished to be there attending charles’ every race in f1, you were nearing the end of your second semester and were swamped with finals.

your first f1 race had been the 2018 monaco grand prix, and you’d spent the better part of your evening with your arms wrapped around him as he promised you that the next races would be better. the season had been rough for charles, but you had celebrated every good result, no matter how small.

it was your second holiday season as charles’ girlfriend when both of your worlds changed entirely. a couple days before christmas, charles had asked for you and your parents to join his family for dinner. when you had all settled around the dining table, charles stood up with a wide smile on his face.

“j'ai signé avec ferrari.” i signed with ferrari.

to this day, that dinner had been one of your favourite memories. the amount of smiles and tears shared, and the sheer pride that filled your chest when you looked at charles was something you had never been able to forget.

that night, you and charles found yourselves sharing a bed, hands intertwined between the two of you. his eyes were glossy as he looked at you.

a tear slipped out of his eyes when he closed them, “i didn’t lie.”

your free hand moved to wipe the tear away. your mind rushed back to the night you two had shared a week before hervé’s passing.

you leaned forward and kissed his closed eyelids much like you had done the previous year, “no you didn’t. you’ve done well, mon amour. i know he’s so proud of you.”

on christmas morning, lorenzo had surprised you with a letter from the ferrari engineering academy, offering you an intern position to gain trackside experience for your final semester of your engineering degree. you had cried and thanked him profusely, while he laughed at your blubbering figure. later that night, arthur and charles had fought over who you’d be a race engineer for, with the youngest pointing out that he would soon join the ferrari driver academy himself.

and so 2019 began, with charles driving for ferrari, while you gained experience working with the ferrari engineering academy. by the end of your final semester, you had been offered to continue your internship with the academy which you had accepted immediately.

2019 was also the year that your relationship became public, a series of events causing fans to go crazy. pictures of charles in a suit had gone viral after some of your classmates caught sight of him at your graduation, and while you weren’t in the pictures, fans were quick to theorize that his girlfriend was one of the students who was graduating.

speculations and theories about who you were had only just started when you made yourself known to the general f1 public, joining charles at french grand prix. it hadn’t been the plan, but after watching charles finish the race in p3 behind the mercedes, you couldn’t hold yourself back from wrapping your arms around your boyfriend and sharing a sweet kiss, unbeknownst to the cameras plastered everything to the big screens.

for the rest of the season, you made appearances on random race weekends, work being a lot more lenient than your university deadlines had ever been. fans had joked that you were his good luck charm, with charles ending up on a podium in every race you went to.

the belgian grand prix was a race weekend you could never forget, for more reasons than one. you were there to see anthoine’s crash, hand clasped with charles as you watched the scene pan out. you felt like you were eighteen again, sitting next to charles as you watched jules on the tv.

you had met anthoine quite a few times as you grew up for he, pierre, and charles had always been a tight-knit group. the frenchman had always been kind to you, and you found it hard to believe that he would no longer be cracking jokes with you about something pierre and charles had done while you were away.

both pierre and yourself had cried watching charles receive his award and dedicate his first win to anthoine. you wondered if he and jules were watching charles from above, smiling proudly for his accomplishment.

t was a home race that charles had won next, and the amount of people you had come across at work asking you to pass on a congratulations to charles was insane. you couldn’t complain though, you were proud charles was finally getting the recognition and love he deserved.

it was in italy where you celebrated your second anniversary, also. charles had gifted you a pretty necklace with his racing number on it, something you had worn ever since.

in late 2019, you had been given an opportunity to join prema racing as an engineer which you had happily accepted. as you all sat around the dinner table for christmas, you shared the exciting news. arthur had been ecstatic, explaining how he would be driving for prema racing starting 2020.

“stop pouting, charles,” arthur had rolled his eyes, catching sight of his brooding older brother, “je t'avais dit qu'elle serait mon ingénieur de course.” i told you she would be my race engineer.

charles gaped at his younger brother, “woah, woah, woah. qui a dit qu'elle était votre ingénieur de course?” who said anything about her being your racing engineer?

“cela doit arriver,” arthur had smirked, dodging the hand that charles has attempted to slap his head with. it’s bound to happen.

and so, you debuted as a racing engineer during a pandemic, something you had never imagined yourself saying. much like how you hadn’t imagined saying that you would be the racing engineer for one arthur leclerc.

much to charles’ chagrin, you remained arthur’s racing engineer for as long as he stayed in prema racing, which had been a total of three years. when it was revealed that arthur had signed with alfa romeo racing for the 2023 season, you had received multiple offers from other f1 teams to join as an engineer for their drivers.

charles himself had jumped at the opportunity, conducting a meeting with mattia to consider switching xavier out for you, presenting him with all of yours and arthur’s stats from the previous years. when word got out about you possibly becoming charles’ race engineer, ferrari fans from across the globe demanded that mattia offer you the job. at the end of the 2022 season, scuderia ferrari had released a statement that stated how you would be replacing xavier padros as charles leclerc’s race engineer for his future ferrari seasons.

it was christmas yet again, the sixth one since you had started dating charles, and said boyfriend couldn’t help but taunt his younger brother.

“je t'avais dit qu'elle serait à moi après tout.” told you she would be mine after all.

arthur waved him off, “oui, oui. elle était mon ingénieur en premier. et pendant trois ans, laissez-moi le dire.” yeah, yeah. she was my engineer first. and for three years, let me just put that out there.

you rolled your eyes, smacking the back of charles’ head before reaching over and tugging on arthur’s ear, “depuis quand suis-je un objet que vous pouvez posséder et faire circuler?” since when was i an object you guys could just own and pass around?

both brothers winced and avoided your eyes, mumbling a quick sorry before stuffing their mouths with food. pascale had laughed, always entertained when her boys got scolded by you.

the start of your first season with ferrari had gone amazingly, with both charles and the season’s car performing exceptionally well. charles had managed to secure a large gap in the points for the driver’s championship, leading the championship with two wins worth of points.

and that leads us to now, the final race of the 2023 season. the fight for the title had yet to be over, with charles and max flipping positions every few races. at the moment, max had been leading the wdc with only five more points than charles, said ferrari driver currently leading the race with the dutch driver hot on his tail.

“alright, char, we’ve got two more laps, you can do it. push, push.”

the sound of your voice had never failed to bring a smile on charles face, no matter how stressed he was when you spoke over the radio, “how’s it looking?”

“you’re quicker than max in all sectors but the last,” you read off your observations, “ideally, you’d want that last sector to be the quickest so that there’s no chance of him overtaking you. can you go any faster?”

you could hear the smile in his voice as he pushed his car to go faster, “of course, i can, cherié.”

you tsked, “no flirting on the job, leclerc. one lap remaining.”

the radio stayed silent for the next minute, charles focused on staying ahead of max who continued to put pressure on the monégasque from behind. you could see the red ferrari at the final turn, unable to keep the smile from growing as max’s tires locked up, increasing the gap between him and charles.

the mechanics began cheering loudly, rushing to the pit wall to cheer for your boyfriend who crossed the finish line first.

you had laughed loudy, “and that’s a checkered flag, mon amour! you are the 2023 world champion!”

charles exclaimed loudly over the radio, car slowing down for a cooldown lap. he let out a few whoops before settling down to give a quick message to the team, “excellent job, guys. wow, congratulations everyone. thank you for all of the hard work this season. today marks not only my first driver’s championship, but also our first constructor’s championship win since 2008.”

he continued to thank a few more people before letting out another ecstatic laugh. from across the pitwall, you could see arthur’s red and white car cross the finish line in fifth place.

“amour?” charles’ voice called out to you, “you there?”

“of course, champ. what’s up?” you gave mattia a confused look as he smiled at you.

“tu dirais oui si je te demandais d'être ma femme?” would you say yes if i asked you to be my wife?

your breath hitched in your throat. you felt like you were thrown back into 2017, twenty years old sitting on a swing while charles sat in the one next to you.

“je pense que oui,” you repeated, eyes beady with unshed tears, “veux-tu l'essayer?” i think i would. do you want to try it?

charles had rushed to you the second he parked his car, pulling you close to plant a kiss against your lips before he was whisked away rather quickly to complete his post-race duties.

in front of the cameras, charles expressed his absolute elation regarding winning the grand prix, as well as coming first in both championships. the interviewer congratulated the monégasque on getting most votes for driver of the day as well, before moving on to the question he knew everyone wanted an answer for.

“so, we all picked up on that last radio message there. can we expect to receive any happy news in the near future?”

charles had smiled and shrugged, “i guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”

for the final podium of the season, as his race engineer and team principal, you and mattia would be joining charles. even after 26 years of being around him, your heart still raced when you saw charles join you two on the podium.

with the awards distributed, you had waited to get drenched with champagne, looking around confused when no one popped a bottle. charles got off his step, making his way towards you.

unlike his cheeky smile six years ago, the smile on his face today was tender. the crowd beneath the podium screamed loudly as he kneeled on his left knee. he did it right this time, you couldn’t help but smile.

just like he had done six years ago, he uttered your name, “y/n l/n,” instead of grabbing your hands this time, he held his hand out to mattia, who handed him a ring box.

charles opened the box and presented it to you, “me ferais-tu l'honneur d'être ma charmante femme?” would you do the honour of being my lovely wife?

and just like you had done six years ago, you pretended to contemplate, your smile peeking through as charles rolled his eyes at you playfully. you stuck your left hand out, wiggling your fingers, “j’aimerais.” i would love to.

the champagne bottles popped the second charles slipped the ring on your finger. you didn’t even care as the sweet champagne sprayed against your face and body, too wrapped up in the loving gaze of your fiancé.

and then, just like you had done for the first time under the rain six years ago, the two of you locked lips under the showers of champagne.

2K notes · View notes

paradisedumpling · 3 months

Text

Lucky

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TROPE: non-idol!hanni x non-idol!reader; best friends to lovers; summer trip

SYNOPSIS: you and your friends go on a trip to spend summer at Minji's family lake house and hanni has a peculiar gift that'll soon make all the sense to you

CONTENT WARNING: one double meaning joke that's too cringe for it's own good honestly; synopsis suck pls trust the story; but other than that it's all pure fluff!!; not proofread

A/N: heyyy, guess who's back? hahaha I wrote half of this last year and the other half right now so if the writing style changes halfway through don't mind much!

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"Alright guys! Are you all ready?" Minji's dad clapped his hands together after he closed the truck of his car.

"Yes!" You all agreed with excitement. The six of you, plus Minji's family, are going to spend the first week of summer break at their lake house and you were all very excited about it.

"Dani unnie, come sit with me and Minji!" Haerin unlaced her arm from yours and pulled Danielle in her direction as she hurriedly entered the car after her girlfriend.

You looked at their disappearing figures with betrayal all over your features. You knew exactly why she did that. A warmth sensation started spreading over your face when you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders.

"Ready to go?" You didn't have to look at Hanni's face to tell she had a smile on her face. You simply nodded at the girl and followed her inside the car, avoiding eye contact with her as you did so.

As soon as you entered the car and closed the door, you turned around to give Haerin a panicked look. But she only smirked at you, eyes traveling to Hanni beside you and wiggling her eyebrows. You sighed in frustration and turned around, feeling your face warm, hoping Hanni wouldn't notice your face and how stiff you were beside her.

The thing is, you had a massive crush on your friend Hanni. It had been a couple of years since you'd known her and had slightly different feelings for the vietnamese girl compared to your feelings for your other friends. But it had only been recently that you had realized what your feelings for the girl at your side were and now everytime you were with her you'd become a blushing mess.

Haerin, being your ride or die, and also a very observant person, was the first one to know about your crush on Hanni, although you were pretty sure she told Minji since the two of them started dating a few months ago. The older girl always gives you two suggestive glances whenever you and Hanni are together. And the cat-like girl has been trying to set you two up at any moment she got. Including right now. On this five hour car ride. Where you'll spend all of this time sitting beside Hanni. The thought made your face get even more warm than before, fingers playing with each other at your lap.

"You okay? Your face is all red." Hanni looked at you in concern as Minji's dad started the car, putting her hand on your forehead and then on your neck, frowning. "You're warm." You swear you heard Haerin snickering at the backseat.

"I-I'm okay, Han. It's just the weather. You know how I am during the summer." You mutered, trying your best to send her a smile that didn't look awkward. She looked at you for a few seconds, but seemed satisfied with your response as she nodded and turned to talk to Hyein.

You occupied yourself with watching the street, leaning your head on the door and taking deep breaths in hopes of calming your lovestruck heart.

It worked for a few minutes, until you felt wind being fanned in your face and you looked around confused, seeing Hanni smiling at you as she fanned you with a paper fan.

You blinked for a few seconds, feeling yourself getting flustered again at the kind gesture. "Thank you, Hanni. Won't your arms get tired though?" You looked at her hand. She was fanning pretty fast. "I can do it myself if it's too much for you."

"Nonsense!" She simply smiled at you and you failed notice how her eyes sparkled at the cute way you were looking at her. "My girl's hot and I'll gladly cool her down if I can." You knew she didn't mean it that way, but your mind short-circuited at her words and this time you knew for sure Haerin was laughing at your red face and dazed expression.

You only hummed, avoiding eye contact and leaning down to lay you head on Hanni's shoulder, half wanting to get her gaze off of your face, and half hoping with this new angle she would get some of the air on herself. The weather was indeed warm and you weren't sure if the air-conditioner would be effective with seven people in the car anytime soon.

"You're cute." Hanni giggled as she booped your nose, turning her head to bicker with Minji about a comment she made you honestly didn't hear. The only thing you could hear was your heart pounding in your ears.

You closed your eyes and took deep breaths, once again trying to calm yourself down. Hanni was still your friend and you didn't want to make things weird, specially because you knew she would eventually realize you only reacted that way with her. Hyein was already taking notice of your exclusive behavior around Hanni. It wouldn't take too long for her to realize too. And you didn't want to ruin your friendship over a stupid crush.

You felt your phone vibrating inside your pocket and you opened your eyes to grab it and unlock the screen, seeing a message from Haerin. You looked back at the younger girl before going to answer her.

bro's a cat 🐈: You're such a fool in love

You rolled your eyes at the text, looking back at her once again to give her an annoyed face before quickly replying.

You: Said the one that would blush and giggle everytime Minji looked at you before you became official

You smirked to yourself as you pressed send, suppressing a laugh as an answer came only seconds after.

bros a cat 🐈: I DID NOT GIGGLE

Was the reply, alongside an angry cat emoji. It made your smirk get bigger, the tip of your tongue between your teeth as you felt mischievous with the opportunity to tease your friend back.

You: YES YOU DID

You quickly typed something else as the three dots signaling Haerin was replying appeared.

You: I bet you still do

You: Minji has you wrapped around her fingers so bad you don't even listen to people's opinions anymore

You: Only baby Minji's

You heard Haerin gasp from the backseat, turning around to catch her with an embarrassed face and red cheeks.

"What's with you two?" Danielle asked as you and Haerin shared looks, laughing at the catlike girl's clear embarrassed face at whatever you texted her.

"She's teasing me!" Haerin's squeal got the attention of the other girls as she pointed at you accusingly.

"You started it!" You were quick to defend yourself, looking at Minji's questioning face, one of her eyebrows raised. "She called me a fool, Minji!" This time, you were the one pointing at the other girl.

"Let's not fight in the car, girls!" Minji's dad yelled from the driver's seat, looking at the six of you through the rearview mirror.

"Dad's right." Minji said with a sigh. Although she knew you two never fought and just bickered, she didn't want to stress her dad any more than he already was. He wasn't exactly happy about being the one driving the six of you alone, since her mom was in another car with her brother, sister and grandma. "Rinnie, stop teasing her. You know that's mean and she's trying her best." The three of you shared knowing looks at her last statement. "And you stop teasing my girlfriend! She's only trying to help." Minji pulled Haerin closer and planted a kiss to her temple, making you and the others groan at the PDA.

"Geez, go killing the mood with your couple stuff." Hanni rolled her eyes, nudging your shoulders to get your attention. "Can you believe them?" She whispered to you. "Wasn't Minji the one to establish a 'rule' to not do couple stuff around us?" You giggled between yourselves, leaning against each other as you tried not to laugh loudly and get caught by the older girl.

"You're all just mad you're single." Minji teased and you had to hold Hanni back from firing back, glancing at Minji's dad looking nervously between the rearview mirror and the road.

"Let's see how you guys will be when there's a new couple in the group." Hyein said, laughing to herself as the five of you looked at her in shock.

"You're not crushing on anyone are you?"

"You know you're not allowed to date, Hyein-ah! You're too young!"

"Who's the person? Sorry, kid. I need to have.... a conversation with them."

"You're not allowed to date, end of debate."

"Absolutely not!"

Hyein blinked as she stared at the five of you after being bombarded with your disapproval of her dating anyone. "I wasn't talking about me though?" And then she looked at you.

"Glad you weren't. Cause even if you were, we wouldn't allow it." Hanni said, clueless as the other girls caught on Hyein's eyes on you, also staring as your face grew red again.

The car was silent for the next seconds, only being filled with Hanni asking Minji's dad to put a playlist on. You could feel all the other four girls staring at you and now you knew all of them knew about your crush on Hanni, except the girl in question.

"Wait." Hanni suddenly said, Perfect by One Direction now playing in the car, turning to look at the youngest in the group. "If it wasn't you then who was it?" You stared at Hyein and shook your head violently, silently begging her not to say anything too obvious.

"Hm.... No one!" She squealed. "You're just all old enough to date and Haerin unnie and Minji unnie are already dating so it's only a matter of time until the rest of you find someone too that's what I meant!" She rambled quickly, giving you and the vietnamese girl an awkward smile. You mouthed a 'thank you' to her, which seemed to calm her down a bit as Hanni only shrugged her shoulders and nodded at the girl.

"Oh! I love this part!" Danielle chimed in, starting to sing the song in hopes of changing the subject and making everyone's mood more bright. You felt grateful for that and you were sure Hyein was too, after almost spilling the beans about your apparent not so subtle crush on Hanni.

"This girl, I swear." Hanni mumbled to you, giggling quietly to herself before joining Danielle on the song.

You giggled nervously, looking at her as you got mesmerized by the image of her singing passionately to her favorite band. You just hoped no other close calls would happen in this car trip....

---------------------------------------------------

"Alright, kids! Go to the bathroom, relieve yourselves and wash your faces! We'll meet in the restaurant over there to have lunch!" Minji's mom clapped her hands together to gather all of your attention as she spoke.

You had made a stop at a gas station to fuel the cars, go to the bathroom and eat.

Stretching your arms above your head you let out a loud sigh, watching as everyone dispersed to do their necessities or buy snacks at the gas station convenience store.

"You're not coming?" Hanni's voice startled you, thinking she had followed Danielle and Minji's sister, Minyoung, to the bathroom. You turned your head to look at her, smiling unconsciously.

"Yeah, just getting my limbs awake again." She laughed, imitating the stretch you were doing seconds before. "Thanks for waiting, Han. You didn't need to." You pressed a peck to her cheek, skipping ahead as she stared at you with a dazed smile on her face. "Last one to get there has to eat a spicy apple!" You laughed as her expression turned into a dumbfounded one, turning fully to run to the bathroom.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Hanni ran after run, not caring if the people around you were staring or not.

After doing your necessities, the six of you plus Minji's siblings found yourselves at the trinket store by the restaurant while you waited for the food to get ready.

"Oh, look!" Minji's older brother, Minhyuk, turned around with something on his hands, making a show of suspense before revealing a funny looking wooden bear. "I found Minji over here!"

"You ugly man–" You quickly walked away laughing as Minji and her brother began bickering, not wanting to be in the middle of their harmless siblings fight in case they got in trouble with the store's owner.

Walking down a section you haven't seen yet, you spotted many different keychains and fridge magnets on sell and decided to carefully inspect them, wishing to buy something to take home for your family when you're back.

Picking up a cute little bee keychain, you smiled to yourself before you felt a familiar hand slipping on your free one and a weight on your shoulder.

"Do you like it?" You turned to show the item to Hanni, watching the girl bring her free hand to hold yours and inspect the bee keychain, her head never leaving your shoulder as she did so.

"It's cute." She concluded, smiling at you. "Who's this for?"

"You." You giggled as she shoved you away in embarrassment, turning her attention to the items on display to pretended to be unfazed. "You don't want it?"

She mumbled something you didn't understand, still not looking at you. But as she laced her arms with yours once again you knew she liked it.

You became distracted watching Hanni's beautiful concentrated face as she looked through the souvenirs, mindlessly nodding along to whatever she was saying as your cheeks began hurting with the amount of time you stayed smiling at her.

"I'm getting you this." She stated suddenly, shoving a keychain in your face as you blinked away confusedly. She giggled, knowing you were distracted.

Finally inspecting the item she still had close to your face, your eyebrows furrowed at the four-leaf clover. "Thanks?"

"Don't be silly." She tugged you to the cashier, passing through Hyein and Minyoung with a basket full of things to buy you weren't even sure they had space to store. "It fits your vibes."

"I didn't say I didn't like it!" You dropped your things at the cashier, greeting the store owner quickly, pulling your credit card out to pay for it all. "Why a clover though? I got you a bee because you're Hanni."

"And you'll understand my gift soon." She smiled at you, and was about to say something again when some loud knocks startled you. The two of you turned to see Minji's father in patiently ushering you all from outside the door, signaling the food had arrived.

Everyone quickly payed for what they got, all of you splitting the bags of things the two youngest girls bought as it got too heavy for just the two of them.

But before getting to sit down at the table to eat, Hanni pulled you to her, whispering in your ear. "Oh, by the way." She says her next words rather seriously. "When we get there, I wanna talk to you in private."

You whipped your face around alarmed, but the vietnamese girl only smiled at you and sat down, engaging in an excited food talk with the other girls.

---------------------------------------------------

The rest of the car trip was calm, with most of you sleeping the rest of the way while you and Hanni silently listened to music on your shared playlist.

Her words never left your mind, an additional nervousness in your chest besides the usual one from being this close to her.

When you finally arrived at the Kim's lake house, you barely had any chances of bringing and leaving your luggage in the room you were staying as Hanni dragged you away from the house.

You only managed to catch Haerin's questioning gaze and shrug before you were both out of the door and heading who knowns where.

"Hanni?" You tried to ask but she only shushed you, tugging your hands as she ran with a big smile on her face.

And you couldn't help but appreciate the moment. The way Hanni's black hair flowed gracefully down her back as the wind hit her. The big playful smile that only seemed to get bigger each time she turned to look at you, which in turn made your face warmer each time. The laughter both of you began letting out at some point mixing together with the gentle chirping of birds and the oh, so present water sound from the lake. And the realization you had every so often in simple but magical moments like these that everything felt so perfect and in place with Hanni. So belonging. So right.

Being in love with your best friend was certainly one of the best feelings you could ever feel and you were forever grateful for having her in your life.

When you arrived at the lake pier, Hanni hurriedly sat down and pulled you with her, bringing you flush to her as she pointed to the ducks peacefully swimming in the water.

"Do you think they ever think about life?" Despite her eagerness to arrive here, she asked you quietly, possibly trying not to disturb the animals.

"Maybe?" You carefully watched as a trio of ducklings played in the water. "I'm sure that their worries are very different from ours, though."

"You might be right." Her voice came out a bit shaky and you turned around to look at her with concert, shying a bit when you found her intense gaze already on you.

"H-Han?"

"What are you lucky for?" Hanni suddenly asked you, barely blinking as she brought both of your hands to her lap.

"What?" You tilted your head to the side, trying to understand what the meaning for all of this was. "What are you on about? Why are we here anyways, Hanni?"

"Just answer it, come on!" She tugged your hands impatiently, still looking directly into your eyes with an intensity that was making your heartbeat quicken in pace each second.

"Hmm, I don't know. Not failing school?" You shrugged, caving in and looking down to your conjoined hands on her lap.

She laughed nervously, taking one of her hands away to grab something in her pocket before shoving it on your now free hand.

You opened your palm to see the four-leaf clover keychain she had bought hours ago was now there. You looked up to question her again, but she cut your words with an information that left you speechless.

"Well, I for one I am very lucky to be in love with my best friend."

You blinked dazedly at her, not knowing what to say or to do as your mind slowly processed the words that left her mouth and what they meant.

Hanni shyly turned her gaze away for the first time at your silence, but still kept one of her hands firmly on yours.

After long seconds you definitely had to apologize for later, you blurted the first words your brain could come up with to her.

"You're so cheesy, Han."

"Hey!" She whipped her head back to you, the both of you blushing as your gazes met.

"But I don't think I can say much neither." You mumbled, chewing on the inside of your cheeks as you gathered courage to mutter your next words. "I think I'm in love with my best friend too."

"Cool." She smiled with relief, leaning closer as a confident sparkle now adorned her eyes. "This means now I can do this." You closed your eyes in surprise and expectation once you realized what she was doing.

Her soft lips met yours in a sweet, gentle kiss. The both of you not being able to hide your smiles as she but a hand on your cheek, drawing you closer and prolonging the kiss.

Once air was necessary, you pulled away and simply stared at one another, smiling like fools in love as the gentle sounds of the lake water made the moment feel even more special.

But a crack noise disturbing the quietness made you both pull away further, looking around in confusion until your eyes landed into four familiar teasing smiles.

Your four friends stood a bit further away from the pier, both Danielle and Hyein carrying cameras on their hands while Minji faked disgusted upon being noticed and Haerin's smile grew bigger at being acknowledge.

You gripped Hanni's hand tighter, ready to get up and bolt towards them before they could go running to Minji's family with embarrassing but definitely cute pictures of the two of you kissing.

"Look who's giggling now!" Haerin shouted before you and Hanni got up, turning to run immediately as you and your hopefully soon-to-be girlfriend shouted back at her.

"KANG HAERIN!"

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thank you for reading!! <3

a/n: the end was a bit abrupt but I didn't know what to do and I didn't want this to be super long 😭

#Spotify #newjeans x fem reader #newjeans x reader #gxg imagines #hanni pham x reader #newjeans hanni #hanni x reader #hanni pham

207 notes · View notes

cevansbrat0007 · 1 year

Text

The Lonely Hearts Club: Part Two

Summary: Full Story! Breaking up with Andrew Barber is hard to do. You of all people should know, considering you just tried. Now what? Read Part One.

Warnings: Mature Themes, Angst, Discussions of Break-ups, Fun with Exes, Jealousy, Andy Being a Menace, Confident Reader, Eventual Smut, Cursing, Expect Additional Future Warnings, Minors DNI

A/N: Dedicated to @atkissoflife, @that-one-anxious-mango, and @piscesmermaidprincess. This multi-part fic features a combination of requests from the likes of @writer84, @lexivass, @moejdaw, and several others. It is also, part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

___

February 15th - 12:25am - Los Angeles, CA

Wow. Just...wow.

You stare down at your phone as you wait for the bartender to bring you your check. While you had initially been prepared for Andy to be upset over your note, as well as your pretty abrupt departure, you certainly hadn't expected this.

If anything, he seemed almost...unbothered. By all of it. Granted, it was sometimes hard to gauge a person's tone via text. But you'd also been in a relationship with the man for the better part of six freaking months! At this point, one could argue that you were practically fluent in Andrew Barber and all of his fucking moods.

The guy was up to something, without a doubt. Which meant that you were now officially on high alert. Because your man - your ex - had never been the type to play fair.

Especially where you were concerned. You should've known that it was gonna take a hell of a lot more than a handwritten letter and a box of artisanal muffins to knock some sense into his stubborn ass.

"Argh! You are such a fucking ogre, Andrew!" You groan, burying your face in your hands. "Why can't you ever make things easy?"

The next time you look up it's to see the bartender returning with your credit card. She goes to hand it over, only for you to interrupt her mid-sentence.

What was her name again? You could've sworn it started with a "D".

"Sorry, I know I said I was ready to close out. But since men are stupid, I think I'm gonna need another margarita. Quite possibly two."

Delta gives you a sympathetic nod before pocketing your card once more. "You got it, sweetie. Still want sugar instead of salt?"

"Yes, please." You mumble, reminding yourself that it was okay to feel annoyed. Because you were. This was supposed to be your time, damn it. You deserved to take some space for yourself!

Even if it meant sitting alone at a hotel bar, missing the one person you loved more than anything, the day after motherfucking Valentine's Day. Cheers, bitches.

___

Two Weeks Later – Somewhere in Downtown Boston

Andrew Barber stares blankly at his computer screen, mindlessly tapping his index finger against his temple as a fresh wave of anger courses through his veins.

He’d been so good the last two weeks. So patient and understanding. He’d given you your space, just like you’d asked. Never intruding with the exception of the text he shot off that night.

Even when he’d come across your latest Instagram post from a few days ago showing off your apparent date with another man. Some pretentious looking fucker who went by Russell Cromwell. You two had looked real cozy while sharing a plate full of Birria tacos. And then you’d posed outside of the restaurant with your arms wrapped around his waist.

But the real kicker had been the last photo in the carousel. The one where you’d kissed him on the cheek – when you’d done the “knee thing” that actresses used to do in those old black and white movies you loved to watch so much.

Oh yeah. The two of you would be having a discussion about that one real soon. His wayward Baby Girl could count on that shit.

Honestly, you had no idea how hard falling back had been for him. It had been a real struggle. Because at his core, Andrew Barber was a man of action. He was well-known for his cunning and mental prowess. This was a man who had graduated at the top of his class, who had then gone on to become the youngest District Attorney in the city of Boston’s history.

And in times of crisis, he was someone you could count on to remain calm and collected while you worked towards a solution. Nothing could shake him, save for the trial and media circus that had briefly surrounded his late son.

After that particular tragedy, Andy had resigned himself to being alone. Forever. He often tried to convince himself that he preferred it that way. Andrew Barber didn’t do love. Not after what happened with his ex-wife, Laurie. He was better off living a life of no commitment.

Even if it meant a lot of lonely nights filled with a seemingly endless revolving door of meaningless one-night stands.

And then he’d met you.

Yes, you.

The woman who had somehow, against all odds, brought magic back into his life. Your laugh, your smile, your very presence – it colored his whole goddamn world. He told you that all of the time, and yet it was almost as if you didn’t believe him.

At first, he was convinced that you were too good to be true. Although he’d been quickly dispelled of that notion when you’d had the balls to walk out on him during your very first date. It’s quite possible that he’d fallen for you right then – because you were the type of woman who knew her worth.

By then, Andy had become convinced that you were a gift from the universe. The way he saw it, after everything he’d been through, he was owed you. You were the woman of his dreams – his very salvation – all wrapped up in a curvy little package. And when you ran that night, it called to the primal part of him that felt compelled to give chase.

Just like now.

But what you had yet to understand was that, once a man like Andrew Barber had deemed you his forever, there was no going back. There was no letting you go. No means of escape.

At most, he’d been granted you a temporary reprieve. You both needed time to assess the situation, survey the damage, and then calculate your next move.

And sweetness, you’d already played your hand when you’d left that little note skipped town under the pretense of taking a fucking business trip.

Fine. Now it was on him. And while you still held most of the cards, that certainly didn’t mean that Andrew Barber was walking around without an ace or two in his back pocket. And you had better believe that he was more than ready to play his own.

But first…he needed some fucking coffee. And lucky for him, he knew just where he could find the perfect cup – shot of chocolate, dash of cinnamon, hold the whip.

___

Forty Minutes Later – Monarch Media Group (20 Minutes Outside Downtown Boston)

You lean back in your chair and rub your tired eyes. For the life of you, you simply couldn’t seem to focus today. Or any other day for the matter.

Even though it had been almost a week since you’d returned from your trip to L.A., you still felt just as conflicted about things with Andrew Barber as you did before you’d left. And not only that, but you also found yourself feeling on edge about the entire situation.

Because after your brief text exchange the morning of February 15th, he’d left you alone. The most impatient man you’d ever encountered this side of Boston had actually found it within himself to respect your wishes.

No calls. No texts. No emails. Not even so much as a fucking smoke signal.

And while part of you was pleased with that particular development, there was no denying the fact that you missed your Big Man.

You could be woman enough to admit it. You missed the hell out the handsome, grumpy-faced district attorney who, up until recently, had been a major mainstay in your life. But after some serious soul searching and a generous amount of tequila, you’d come to the conclusion that it was important for you to get your mind right before moving forward with anything.

You owed it to yourself to figure out who you were outside of your relationship with Andy – needed it even. Because that man was a force to be reckoned with. He could be so dominant sometimes, his personality so completely all-consuming that it was easy to lose yourself in him.

To allow yourself to become so entirely eclipsed by his brilliant shadow. Which is something that could absolutely happen the moment you stopped paying attention to your own wants, and needs, and desires.

And if that ever were to happen, part of you wondered whether or not you would be able to find your way back. Honestly, you had no idea.

Because after all of this, if you chose to be with him…it would mean that you were all-in. There was no other option with him.

That beautifully stubborn man didn’t have a lower setting.

However, the last thing you’d ever expected was for Mr. Andrew “My Way or the Highway” Barber to go quietly into that good night. Well, suppose you shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Because if anything he could very well be planning–

Your inner musings are interrupted by Anya, your favorite receptionist at Monarch Media Group. Granted, she was also the only receptionist at the company you’d worked for over the last several years, but that was neither here nor there.

Anya gives you a knowing look before taking a seat on the edge of your desk. “Hi, friend.” She lightly pokes your shoulder. “How ya doin?”

“I’m okay.” You blow out a breath and then decide to exit out of your Outlook. “What’s up?”

“Oh…nothing much.” You watch as your friend and coworker helps herself to a piece of chocolate sitting in a nearby dish.

“Okay.”

“I just stopped by to tell you that your coffee has arrived.” She dutifully unwraps it before popping it in her mouth.

“What?”

You hadn’t ordered any coffee. You didn’t usually even drink the stuff this late in the day. Unless…

“Yep. And just so happens, it was hand-delivered by the handsomest door-dasher I ever did see.” Anya pokes your shoulder again. “I would’ve accepted it on your behalf, but the guy insists on giving it to you himself. Probably angling for a tip if you ask me.” She throws you a conspiratorial wink for good measure.

Speak of the devil. Hello, Mr. Andrew “Check Out My Shit Timing” Barber.

“Ugh.” You bury your head in your hands to muffle your cry of frustration. “Can you please just tell him I’m not here?”

“I’m afraid I already let that cat out of the bag. But by the look on your face and the way you’re rocking back and forth like a human pinball, I take it I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No!”

“Did you and Andy like…break up…or something?” Anya pauses as she reaches for another piece of candy, her hand hovering in mid-air.

No, Anya. I always feel like jumping out the nearest window. I’m fucking squirrley like that.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” You wail. “It’s just…it’s just really fucking complicated, okay?”

“Gotcha. So…about the coffee…”

“I’m going. I’m going.” You stand up in a huff, wishing you knew where you put the ponytail holder that had been on your wrist just this morning. “But if he pisses me off, I’m dumping that shit on his shoes. Hot or not. I do not care.”

“Okay, but if it comes to that can you please try to do it off company property? I’m all for you handling your business, but I’m also thinking about all the paperwork I’m gonna have to do if you accidentally injure one of the city’s hottest attorneys.”

“Fuck you.” You grumble as you stalk towards the front of the office to confront the annoying asshole who also happened to be the love of your life.

“What can I say? I’m a selfish bitch.” She chirps, blowing you a kiss.

“Your words not mine. And stay the hell out of my chocolate, you mooch!” You call out as you turn the corner, fully intending to give the Boston D.A. a piece of your mind before you politely, and very firmly, shoved him out the door.

Because if that man thought that he could just waltz right into your place of business and act like he owned everything and everyone, then he was sorely mistaken. You were going to prove to him, and whoever the hell’s job it was to oversee this whole godforsaken cosmos, that you knew how to stand your ground.

The sight of him standing right there in the lobby is easily enough to temporarily rob you of all reasonable thought. His back is to you, giving you the brief opportunity to give him a thorough once-over. His tailored white dress shirt is rolled up at the sleeves, exposing his brawny forearms. But what really draws your attention are his slate gray slacks, which only serves to highlight his perfectly sculpted backside.

He looked good. Nobody deserved to look that damned good, least of all your ex-boyfriend.

Wait. Is that – is that what he was now? Is…is that how all of this worked? Fuck!

You note the lack of tension in his broad shoulders. All things considered, he seemed pretty relaxed. But the real question was…how long could it be expected to last?

Andy picks that moment to turn around, his bright blue eyes locking with your own as an eager grin slowly spreads its way across his handsome features. You take a steadying breath and choose to ignore it.

“Andrew.” You exhale, trying your best to appear unaffected by his presence. It was a lie, of course. But if you managed to keep this unexpected interaction short and sweet, you just might be able to pull it off. “Wh–what are you doing here?”

“Hi.” He cocks his head to the side as he drinks you in, almost as if he’s amused by your disgruntled demeanor.

“Hello.” You cross your arms over your chest, wishing that you had chosen to wear a different sweater today. Andy loved you in this color, especially because of how it paired with your particular skin tone.

“Happy Wednesday, baby.”

God, he really needed to lose that stupid smile. Otherwise, how on earth were you supposed to maintain your composure?

“Sure.”

“Brought you something.” Andy holds out one of the cups of coffee he’s carrying. “Figured you might be able to use a little pick-me-up.”

“Thanks, but I’m good.” You tell him with a shake of your head.

“What? Since when?” He rears back before offering up a playful pout. “We always get coffee together on Wednesdays. It’s our thing…our little afternoon delight.” This time you’re treated to a wink.

“Shh!” You hiss, bridging the distance between your bodies to slap a hand across his mouth. “Don’t say that!”

The last thing you needed was someone to overhear that and think you two used to sneak away sometimes in the afternoon to…to well…you know. Some of the people you worked with possessed very vivid imaginations.

And besides, that whole afternoon delight business had only happened once or twice. Okay, quite possibly four and a half times – and then one more after that.

Amusement sparkles in his gaze as he stares you down. And then you feel the faint flick of his tongue brush across your palm. When you don’t react he does it again, this time following it up with an exaggerated groan.

You immediately jerk your hand away as if you’ve just been burned. Knowing that things were only bound to get worse, you snatch one of the coffees before grabbing his arm and dragging him outside and into the unseasonably warm weather.

Thank goodness for small favors.

The smell of spring was definitely in the air these days, but all you can focus on is the sound of Andy’s laughter trailing behind you. Frankly, it’s enough to set your teeth on edge. Even still, he allows you to lead him down the street. At some point there’s a slight shift that results in your relinquishing his arm so that he can lace his fingers through yours.

But you'll allow it if it means that he’ll behave for as long as it takes to make it to your destination. Which just so happens to be an empty bench located at the edge of a nearby park.

To his credit, the attractive buttface at your side doesn’t say anything during your impromptu power walk, but he also doesn’t need to. Because after two long weeks without you, the man was probably venturing into serious touch-starved territory.

You knew it. And so did he. So part of you didn’t see the harm in giving him this one, small thing.

Relief fills you when you finally reach the bench. Of course Andy sits first before pulling you down with him – but thankfully not onto his lap. Although you’re positive that the thought was there.

Eventually he lets go of your hand. Unsure of what else to do, you finally take a sip of your coffee. The rich, slightly bitter flavor of chocolate and mocha bursts onto your tongue, followed immediately by a quick hint of cinnamon.

Mm. A perfect cup.

“I’ve missed you, baby girl.” Andy’s large, lightly calloused hand cups your face – the roughened pad of his thumb caressing the curve of your cheek. “It hasn’t been a very fun couple of weeks.”

“I know.” You whisper as you lean into his touch and your eyes flutter closed. Perhaps you were just as starved for affection as he was. “I’m sorry.”

“Did you miss me?” His tone is gruff, but there’s no mistaking the emotion behind his words. Or the pain in his eyes for that matter.

“I did, Andy.” So much.

“But you still left. Tried to break up with me before hopping on a plane and running off all the way to L.A. to share some chips and queso with good ol’ Rusty.” Your eyes fly open as Andy’s hand drops away. “Or did I read that wrong?”

How the fuck had he known where you where? You hadn’t included anything about your intended destination in your letter…

“I saw it on your Instagram, in case you were wondering. Was actually able to use that stupid account you set up for me after all.” His teeth sink into his bottom lip as he narrows his gaze, trying to read your expression. “Couldn’t really get much else, although I enjoyed those pics of you at the beach.”

“It was a work trip.” You remind him, suddenly feeling defensive. “And Russell is an old friend, nothing more.”

“Hm.” Andy quirks an annoyed brow. “Are we talking about the kind of friend who also accompanies you to the beach so you can show off your brand new bikini? Not that I’m complaining any about that gorgeous, sunkissed glow you’ve got going on, princess.”

His big body is certainly tense, but there’s no ignoring the feral gleam in his eyes. Almost as if he’s dying to undress you and spend the next several hours checking you for tan lines.

And he would, too. It’s not like it would be the first time.

“I went alone. Russell stayed behind for that one.” You roll your eyes at the sight of his nostrils flaring. “Jesus Christ, dude! I know you may not believe that I’m a big girl, but I am. And if I wanna go hang out at the beach by myself, then that’s exactly what I’m gonna do!”

Which was exactly what the fuck you’d done. And it had been positively marvelous.

“Fine.” He grunts, raising his palm towards the heavens. “God forgive me for having the sense to worry about my girl, especially since the last time I checked, she still couldn’t swim for shit.”

“Whatever, Andrew. This girl does whatever the hell she wants now, so you had better get used to it.” Your mouth is set in a thin, firm line while you silently dare him to disagree.

“I’m not quite sure how that’s different from any other day with you, but alright.” Andy tries to calm himself by playing with a stray curl that’s fallen free from your bun. “You’re still mine, sweetness. Even when you insist on being a brat. Or did you somehow forget that part?”

You swat at his hand instead of responding, hating that steady feeling of warmth that was currently pooling in your belly.

“Did you?”

You make a show of ignoring him in favor of enjoying what was left of your coffee.

“You know, they say that sometimes silence speaks louder than words, baby girl.” You find yourself resisting the urge to clench your thighs together at the sound of the dark chuckle that rumbles through his chest. “It’s alright, though. Guess I’ll just have to remind you again once we get past this little wall you’re trying to put up between us.”

He gifts you with a flash of his pearly white teeth. Andrew Barber was the type of man who would only let you get away with so much before he put his foot down. And you would do well to remember that.

“Pretty sure you meant to say “actions”, jackass.” Apparently he finds your acerbic wit funny as well.

“Eh, I’ve heard it both ways.” Andy shrugs before going back to toying with your curls. “But I think you should know that I’m not very happy with you, baby. And I’m trying to be patient here, but it’s kinda difficult when I can’t even get you to talk to me.”

“I was going to call you…” That wasn’t a lie. You had just been trying to drum up the mental fortitude you knew it would take to pick up the phone and actually dial his number. Sometimes, dealing with Andrew Barber could require some serious patience.

“Were you now?” He doesn’t believe you. You can hear it in his voice.

“I was.”

“Okay, then have dinner with me tonight.” He releases your curl, watching the way it bounces as it springs free.

“Andy.” You let out an exhausted sigh.

“Meet me at my place. I’ll swing by Imperial Wok and pick up a few of your favorites so we can eat. And then we can talk in a quiet, private setting without any interruptions. How does that sound, princess?”

“Wonderful.” The word slips out before you can catch it. “But I–I can’t.”

Andrew Barber’s excited smile dies on his lips the moment that phrase reaches his ears and registers in his brain. As much as you hated to admit it, being alone with this man wasn’t a very good idea right now – especially behind closed doors.

Because while you’d never seen the man in court, you’d definitely heard plenty of stories about his ruthlessness. And you knew firsthand just how persistent he could be when he was determined to get his way.

When Andy wanted something, he didn’t stop until he got it. Not only was he relentless, but he also wasn’t above using every tool at his disposal – including sex – if it meant having you back in his life. It wouldn’t matter all that much to him how it came about.

The same way he wouldn’t care if whether or not your desired reconciliation only happened because he’d lured you into his bed before fucking you back into submission.

“The fu–why the hell not?” He growls, his hand grips the arm of the wooden bench so hard his knuckles go white.

“Because I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” The pronounced tick in his jaw makes it clear that he’s beyond frustrated by your refusal.

Unfortunately, that was too damned bad! By the time this was all said and done, your handsome ogre was going to have mastered the art of having some goddamned patience. At least you hoped that would be the case…

“Both.” You offer your Big Man a small apologetic smile as you rise from your seat. “Let’s plan for sometime next week. Maybe we can shoot for Monday. I’ll, uh, send you a text or something and we can find a place to meet. But I really need to get back to work now.”

Andy stares at you for what feels like a full minute as his impressive brain works overtime to figure out his next move. And then he stands up before taking your empty cup and discarding them both in a nearby trash bin.

“Alright.” He mutters with a nod in your direction. “I guess I’ll just have to wait for your message then. Now, let’s get you back to your office.” A lump forms in your throat when he wraps a muscled arm around your shoulders as you two begin walking back the way you came.

Fuck, you really hated this shit. But if this relationship was ever going to have a chance of working, you had to continue standing your ground. Even though it hurt like hell.

“I, um...I know you said that we probably won’t be able to sit down and talk until next week. And I suppose I can understand where you’re coming from with that, but while I have you now…” He lightly coughs into his elbow.

You glance up at your hotshot attorney, trying to figure out where he was going with this so that you could potentially cut him off at the pass.

“I at least wanted to say “thank you” in person for still agreeing to help Lydia with the charity gala this Saturday. I’m sure that it wasn’t an easy decision for you, especially given how things have been between us lately. But I really do appreciate it. And, frankly, I’m sure the kids at St. Augustine’s do too.”

You feel the blood drain from your face as the reminder of this weekend’s event all-but smacks in the face. “Shit!” You hiss, pulling away from Andy as you reach your building. “It’s this Saturday? Are you sure?”

“I am.” He confirms, his eyes filled with surprise. “I just spoke with Lydia yesterday when I–”

“Fuck!” You exclaim as your hands fly to your hips, uncaring that you just interrupted whatever it was he was about to say.

In all of the chaos, you’d completely forgotten that you had agreed to help the wife of one of Andy’s colleagues with her annual charity ball. Starting by arriving at the hotel early Saturday morning to aid in the event setup, before heading up to your room to get ready for the evening's festivities.

A room that had been booked during a time when you and Andy were on much better terms.

“She did mention that she sent all of the volunteers an email a couple days ago with a list of instructions. Maybe it got buried in your inbox, baby.” He rests his hands on your biceps, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “But she is definitely expecting you and I’m afraid it’s probably too late for you to back out at this point.”

Deep down you knew he was right. And quite honestly, you wouldn’t even dream of doing something like this close to the actual date of the gala. But there was still the issue of having to share a hotel room with your ex.

Closing your eyes, you force yourself to take a deep breath. “I–I wouldn’t do that. I’m not that big of an asshole. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to share a room…” You trail off, hoping that he would at least be somewhat understanding of your current plight.

“Ahh.” You can see the moment when realization finally dawns. “Right. Almost forgot about that.”

No, he actually hadn’t. But since Andy didn’t feel as though there was any real need for you to know that, he was going to keep that particular tidbit to himself. Even he was capable of showing some restraint every now and again.

“Like I said…” You find yourself anxiously bouncing on your toes. “I don’t think –”

“I get it, sweetheart.”

Wait. He did? Just like that?

“You do?”

“I do.” His words are accompanied by a lopsided grin.

He didn’t. But then again, you didn’t need to know that either.

Andy’s hands leave your arms so that he can tenderly cup the sides of your face instead. “You just leave it all to me, baby girl. I’ll call the hotel and change the reservations.”

“You will?” You place your smaller hands overtop of his own. “You…you don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” Andy leans down to press a sweet kiss to your forehead. “And I promise to be on my best behavior Saturday night.” He gives you another kiss, which you allow. “If you want, I’ll even send over the updated confirmation info.”

“Thank you.” You murmur, wishing that you could give-in just a little more and offer up your lips for a kiss. A real one this time.

But you couldn’t afford to do that. Not even when Mr. Andrew “Give Me A Gold Star For Being Helpful” Barber was acting sweet. That would only throw everything off balance all over again.

Andy’s heated gaze drops to your mouth before he slowly pulls away. “Don’t work too hard, okay?” His husky voice sends one last tiny flutter through your belly.

“Same goes for you.” You tell him as you begin to head into the building.

“Goodbye, baby girl.”

“Goodbye, Andrew. See you Saturday.”

He waits until you’re safely inside and out of sight before turning on his heel and proceeding in the direction of his car. Oh, you’d be seeing him on Saturday alright. And he would be on his best behavior – depending on just how much patience he could muster.

You two would be sorting this shit out then, whether you liked it or not. When it was over, you’d both spend the rest of the weekend making up for lost time. And Andrew was going to do everything in his power to ensure you enjoyed every fucking second of it. Just like he planned to enjoy getting reacquainted with that delicate sweetness between those luscious thighs. But first…

He needed to go make a call.

END

*Part Three Coming Soon...*

___

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sports-on-sundays · 28 days

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hiee, could you do a pau x reader where they've known each other since middle school or so and started dating in high school and are best friends before anything else. but as he starts to get famous and known in the group he gets his head in the clouds and starts neglecting her and is embarrassed by her (?) she tries to save their relationship but gets sick of it and breaks it off and gavi has to knock some sense into pau. (pls make it angsty 😭) i love your writing so much!!

love and fame / Pau Cubarsí

Summary: Pau x girlfriend!reader - In which the fame starts to get to a certain teenager's head.

Warnings: angst, neglect, crying, censored cuss

Requested?: Yea

Author's Note: This is a very good, well thought out request; thanks for the great idea! And honestly it makes me so happy to know you like my writing so much; thank you! Also I don't know if you meant it to be a romantic relationship, but I made it that in the end and only realized you may have meant something different once I was finished, so I'm sorry if I misinterpreted that, and I hope you like it still, either way!

It's like you knew what would happen before you even knew it.

"Wow, Pau," you had grinned, high-fiving your boyfriend after a game. You gave him a short hug, patting his back. "You're getting pretty famous, huh?"

"Yeah," he had laughed a bit. "It's crazy. Months ago, I felt like, you know, just me. Just Pau. Now people know me. They're asking for my autographs more and more. Someone wanted me to take a picture with their baby!"

Your nose had crinkled up, but also you laughed a bit at that. "Whoa." You lean back to look up at him, crossing your arms. "Well, you've always been 'just Pau' to me. Cute Pau, who plays football, and who my friends all tell me has a crush on me."

"Yeah, until I confessed it," he said with an eye roll, feeling as though he'd heard this a million times, but still enjoying hearing it, regardless.

But for right now, he looked at you with meaning, and pride. "But aren't you impressed? You know, that I'm going big?"

You grinned. Right now, for now, he cared about what you thought. He cared to make you proud.

Still.

"Hmmm... Ask me again after you've won some silverware," you had teased lightheartedly, obviously proud of him.

He grinned back and claimed confidently, "It's only a matter of time!"

Then you had started walking together, with his arm around your shoulders. You hesitated, pondering for a bit on your words, before casually commenting, "Just don't let the fame get to your head."

"What do you mean?" he had asked, eyebrows furrowing.

"You know... I just hope you'd never put it before me. Or before any other people you love, for that matter."

But he laughed, brushing it off right away. "Of course not, Y/n. No need to worry about that!"

And by the way he said it, you believed him. That sounded so genuine. As if it was silly for you to worry about such a thing. So you trusted him.

Now you see he should've given that comment from you a little bit more thought before openly denying it could ever be a possibility.

Because now, scarily enough, it looks like a very likely possibility.

You're visiting family in Seville, and planned it that way so you'd be able to surprise Pau by meeting him at his game. You weren't exactly expecting him start the game, but when you saw he was, that made it even better.

Or so you thought it would.

Well, it was a great game to watch. Anyone could say that much. A 2-4 win with a hat trick from Ferran- you're happy this is the away game you were able to plan to come to.

Now you laugh and exclaim when you see Pau after the game, all dressed in street clothes again with a few of his teammates- the two goalscorers themselves, and Iñaki Peña. But when he looks up and sees you, he suddenly looks-

uncomfortable?!

"H- Hey, Y/n," he quickly says, glancing to his teammates.

"What's your problem?" you demand, promptly shoving Ferran a bit in order to get to your boyfriend and stand in front of him with crossed arms.

"Nothing... Just, come on..." he says, grabbing your hand and starting to walk quicker down the hall. You see him eyeing both his teammates and a camera in the hall very nervously.

"Is something wrong...?" you inquire.

"Nope! But yeah, great game, no?" he says as you exit the hallway. He seems to be keeping a strange amount of distance between you and him.

"Right... You did great..." you respond, nodding slowly, your thoughts now completely elsewhere.

"Why?" you demand, crossing your arms. You were all ready, wearing your backwards flat cap, football jersey, and shorts. You were just tying up your hair, sitting across from him in an ice cream parlor, when Pau dropped his stupid little suggestion. "Why can't I come to training with you?"

"Be- Because it's not for you!" he argues. "It's for me. You're not a part of the team. You're not even a guy. It's not fair for you to just show up."

You frown. "What, did someone tell you that? Or did you just make that up on the spot, because there's some other reason why you don't want me coming?"

After knowing each other for five years, you and Pau have pretty much figured out how to catch if the other is lying or not.

Pau's face lights up pink embarrassed, proving your suspicions to be true.

You frown. "Pau, your whole team loves me! They don't mind if after training I kick the ball around with them a bit! What, is that the reason? Are you jealous?"

"No... no. That's not it," he shakes his head slowly, before suddenly looking at his watch. "Oh, God, I've got to go now, otherwise I'll be late!"

"I'm coming with!" you demand, standing up.

"No, no!" he says, gently pulling you away from the door. He forces you to look him in the eyes and mutters, "Please?"

You frown deeper. Hesitate. You sigh and mutter, "Whatever. Sure. But we're going to talk about this later."

He nods, seeming a little too relieved for it to be normal, before he walks out of the parlor, shutting the door behind him with a jingle of it's bell, leaving you standing alone in there, looking like an idiot.

You sigh, trying to process all this, but not understanding any of it one bit.

When you see Pau again, he somehow manages to avoid that talk you promised him by just being the sweetest with all his cuddles and compliments. You don't realize it was forgotten before he's gone, and it's too late now.

You sigh, deciding to brush it off. Convincing yourself it's nothing.

But then it goes weeks. No communication, or very little. It's strange, and extremely unlike Pau, who has always been one to always respond. Always spam rants. He always has the last word.

So to be suddenly sending short, dry, infrequent texts? And not inviting you to any dates or events?

It gives you a bad, bad, sinking feeling.

"Hey, Pau!" you attempt at smiling when you finally see him again. "It's been... too long, love..." you start. It's after a home game, and you wanted to catch him.

But he sort of just...

Puts you aside.

"One second, Y/n. I've got to finish something. And, uh, can you not just show up at a game like this...? You're kind of...?"

"I'm kind of... what?!" you demand, grabbing his shoulder, forcing him to give you his attention.

He hesitates, before muttering, "You're kind of dragging me down."

Your mouth drops at the same time as your heart does in your chest. "I'm- I'm what?" Your eyes are wide.

He blushes and mutters, "I guess I just... I kind of want to have you and my... my football life, my fame, separated."

You glare, crossing your arms. "Since when have you wanted me separated from anything in your life? What is this all of the sudden?"

He frowns, blushing deeper. "I don't know... I just... I don't know."

"Okay," you snap. "Whatever." And you walk off in anger, just like that.

He doesn't call you back, so you suppose you're leaving, just like he wants you to.

"So?" you stare across at Pau, unimpressed. You invited him to your house, and now you sit at your kitchen table with your hands resting on it, crossed.

"What?" he sighs, looking guilty.

Well, he probably is guilty. He's super guilty. This conversation is just a matter of figuring out what he's guilty of.

"Why have you been ignoring me? Why have you seemed embarrassed any time I'm around? Are you ashamed of me?"

He frowns. "Uh..."

"So you are ashamed of me?" just the question of that sends a pang through your chest.

"I-"

"Why? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing! It's just... Y/n, listen. I'm famous now. You're, like, just Y/n. You're just a regular girl... I just don't..."

"You don't want it being known you have just a regular girlfriend?!" you fume. "You said you wanted to be 'just Pau'! You said you didn't mind that!" You stand up. "But now you can't have your girlfriend being 'just Y/n'?" you jab in a mocking tone.

He takes your hand and says hesitantly, "You can be my girlfriend... I just..."

"You just don't want anyone seeing me, ever. You're ashamed of me," you confirm, pulling your hand away from his. You hesitate, before saying, "I'll give you a chance. If you can get your head out of the clouds, do it, because we have something that isn't worth losing over this."

He looks up nervous. "You would break up with me?"

"If you don't fix this, Pau. I love you, but I won't-" your voice falters for the first time. "I won't stay with you if you don't fix this. You can't expect me to put myself through that."

He suddenly stands up and hugs you, but it doesn't feel right. It should feel more comforting than it does.

But you swallow. You need to trust him. You should trust that the boy you've loved for years wouldn't throw away your relationship so easily.

He wouldn't, right?

You lay awake at night, laying on your back, staring up at the ceiling. Tears run softly, slowly down the sides of your face, onto your pillow, sinking into it.

Disappearing.

"Pau," you whisper into the empty, stuffy, lonely dark room. "What is it about me? Is there another girl you like more? Am I really that much to be... To be ashamed of?" You groan.

Great. Now I'm talking to myself, because I know I couldn't say this right ot his face.

I'd be too scared to know what his answers would be.

I just want him back. The Pau I know. Not this distant, strange thing he has going on. I want the sweet boy who always wanted me around. The boy who could never shut up about me, never stop raving about me.

Now he's ashamed of my very existence, it seems.

Is it really just the money breaking him? The fame, shattering him to pieces?

That's the only solution you can think of, but you don't want to settle for it.

You shut your eyes, convincing yourself that sleep is needed now.

Though shutting your eyes just pushes more tears out of them.

"It's over..." Somehow, you clench your jaw and stare into him. Somehow, you force yourself to look as hard and cold as a rock.

And as strong as one.

But inside, you're being shattered to pieces, and it's only a matter of time before you break.

Like, for real.

"What? Y/n, no- Please!" But his words, and his tone, doesn't match up with the look in his eyes.

Not exactly.

It's like there's two parts of him, inside, battling each other.

One sees the worth in this relationship. One regrets, and wants to amend. One wants to hold on.

But the other more predominant part is ready to let you go. It sees you as a burden, as a girl that's going to drag him down and make him look bad. A girl who isn't charismatic enough, or pretty enough, to be the girlfriend of a celebrity. A girl who just doesn't make the cut.

Now, you can't stop tears from filling up your eyes as you snap back bitterly, "No, Pau. I gave you a second chance. And a third chance. You didn't listen. You clearly don't care enough about me to get your head out of the clouds and actually make a change! So it's over! Over!"

And by the time you walk out, you're sobbing. Tear, streaming down your cheeks. Your legs shake, and everything feels so wrong.

It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair.

We were meant to be.

Forever.

We were suppose to be made for each other.

You sit alone in your room. Pulling at your messy, knotted hair. Feeling unwanted.

You are unwanted, Y/n, a voice in your head screams. He was the one that seemed to love you most, that seemed to never want to hurt you. And he was the one who let go of you, in the end.

You choke out another sob. Your parents were concerned, trying to figure out what was wrong, but right when you yelled when you walked into the house that he's an ungrateful b*tch and you never should have gotten with him in the first place-

You suppose they figured it was Pau.

You swallow back your tears, though you know that won't do anything in the end.

They're just going to keep coming.

For months, it's like you were holding this all in. All these emotions. The hope that things would turn around kept you strong enough not to fall apart.

But now here you are.

Falling apart, because now you see there is no hope.

And it really is over.

You roll over, staring at the wall. Tired, blubbering, whimpering back the sobs that softly escape from you. Staring at the peeling Barcelona posters. Anger boils up in you, and you suddenly reach up. "I don't want anything to do with you and your stupid club that changed you!" you suddenly scream, tearing it off the wall, throwing it on the floor.

You press you forehead against the cool wall, breathing deeply and sniffle pathetically, "I loved you."

And you add as your head pounds from all the confusion and tears in a soft cry, "And I still do."

"Is something wrong?" Gavi quite suddenly asks of Pau during some light warmups.

"Why do you ask?" Pau demands, meeting his eyes.

"You've been... quiet. Seems like something is on your mind?"

"Not really," Pau lies.

"Yeah, right."

"Why do you say that?" challenges the younger of the two teenagers.

"Because I know you're wrong. I know something is on your mind."

Pau frowns, pouting a bit at that. "How could you tell?"

Gavi shrugs casually, stretching out his leg gently. "Just can. But anyway- what is it? Does it have to do with your girlfriend suddenly seemingly disappearing off the face of planet Earth?"

Pau groans, leaning his head back. "How did you know?" he says, sounding more sarcastic and defeated this time than he sounded last time.

Gavi shrugs once more. "Two plus two equals four. So she ditched you?"

"That's a harsh way to put it."

"So she ditched you," Gavi repeats, but this time it's not a question, and more like a confirmation. He waits a few seconds, grabs a ball, then starts doing keepie uppies. After some more time, he passes the ball to Pau in the air as he asks, "So why was it?"

"Why was what?" Pau asks, playing stupid, as they continue passing the ball back and forth, doing a few kick-ups in between each pass.

"You know," Gavi says simply.

Pau sighs heavily. "Ask her, if you want to know why she broke up with me."

"But I'm asking you."

"You're nosy!"

"Okay, sure. Anyway, why did she break up with you?"

Pau frowns. Hesitates. "I don't know. I think she didn't think I was giving her enough attention?"

"Were you?"

Pau glances away.

"Were you?" Gavi repeats.

Pau sighs again. "Probably not." But then he quickly adds, "I just don't know if she was good for me."

"What do you mean? Why not?" There's no judgment in the nineteen-year-old's voice. Just inquiry.

Pau shrugs tentatively. "I don't know... I mean, like, she's just kind of regular."

"Regular?" Gavi asks, and now there's judgment in his tone. Judgment that Pau doesn't particularly appreciate.

"Yes, regular! She's just, like, some girl! I'm getting famous now, and there are so many girls that have crushes on me... like, all over. I mean, you know how it is. Would you settle for some random girl-next-door type, when you have so many options?"

"What do you expect to get?" Gavi demands. "Some girl who looks pretty but has no heart? Some girl that wants your money over your personality? Pau, if I had a girlfriend that I'd have known for as long as you've known Y/n, I wouldn't let go of her for all the money in the world."

"Maybe you're a different person than me, then!" Pau snaps, getting red in the face.

"Of course I am! But I'm just telling you my opinion. She's sweet, and she loves you. She has your interests, she cares, and you already know each other's families. Do you really not love her, or are you just embarrassed that you love her?"

Pau's jaw clenches. "I- I don't know." But something about what he just said, deep down in his chest, seems to hit home.

"And, God, she's pretty. I think you're being a bit too high with your expectations. Seems to me you think you're better than you are." Gavi looks up as he passes the ball in the air once more to Pau. "Maybe you should get your head out of the clouds, step down from the pedestal you've built yourself, and look at things a little bit more rationally to how reality actually is." As the ball lands at Pau's feet, Gavi turns with a wave. "If I were you, I would think about this more. It's clear you're not the same without her. You think you'll be happier without her, but clearly, you're not."

As Gavi walks away, paying careful mind to his knee, he comments, glancing back one more time, "You should think about apologizing. Think about what I said. Because that girl is worth a lot more than you think she is right now."

And Pau is left there, standing. Staring.

And, yes, he has a lot to think about.

It's not too far off to say that you've been a shell of yourself since the breakup. There's a hollowness to your eyes, and silence to your vocal cords, and a constant slight shaking to your hands.

It's like you're holding on my a thread, because at any moment, you could break.

Again.

Sometimes you wonder to yourself why you would let a boy control your feelings so much.

But then you remind youreslef that usually, you wouldn't.

Pau was always just different.

Something about you and him clicked.

Perfectly.

There was never a fear of a breakup with him. You never even expected that to happen. You imagined yourself always to be with him. Someday, you might even get married.

Of course, you had had your fantasies about that.

But now that expectation is crushed, and your heart can't deal with it.

So much so that you had to block is number. And all his socials.

Because it was too much of a temptation to just text him. And beg for him to accept you back.

And you knew that wouldn't do any good in the end.

After all, there was a reason why you broke up with him, and a good one, at that.

But in the end, that makes it harder for Pau, two weeks of thinking and stressing after his chat with Gavi, to talk with you.

So he has to go to your house to talk to you.

No getting out of this the easy way, through a text conversation.

Gavi's words just kind of hit a cord in him. Got him thinking. And now as he walks up to the house with a pathetic bouquet of roses behind his back, he's nervous. He feels emotional, but isn't sure how to deal with the feelings he's experiencing.

He supposes when he sees you, he'll just let whatever comes out of his mouth come out, like he usually does, and he'll hope this time, it's something good.

He knows that's not the best approach to life, but can't think of a better way.

When you hear the doorbell ring, you don't really care. Probably just a delivery man, or your parents friends, or something like that. Something you don't care about. So you continue zoning out on your phone, laying on your bed, wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants.

When your mother answers the door, Pau immediately blurts nervously, "H- Hey... Mrs. Y/s/n. Is Y/n home...?"

She squints hesitantly.

Of course. Probably Y/n trash talked me, Pau thinks to himself. Will she even let me in her home?

But after some thought, she turns and calls into the house, "Y/n! There's someone at the door to see you." She gestures to Pau, beckoning for him to come in.

So she leaves the room, and you enter.

And freeze.

Here Pau is. The first time you've seen him in... way too long. And you're wearing pajamas. Your hair is messy. You probably look so tired.

"Pau?" you barely speak. "Why're you here?"

Suddenly he pulls out a bouquet of bright red roses from behind his back, and blurts, "I'm so sorry, Y/n."

You stare at the roses, before hesitantly taking them. "Uh, I..."

Suddenly he takes your free hand in both of his, wrapping it around his two. And he starts rambling. "Y/n, I'm so sorry... I was wrong; I didn't know what I was doing or talking about. I was stupid... I was putting other things over the most beautiful girl in the world. Your heart is one of gold... I'm so stupid, and it took one of my friends talking sense into me for me to even realize what I was doing,- the exact thing I told you I would never do. So I'm sorry, and I want you to please take me back, because I feel like we are actually meant to be. It feels wrong with you not as my girlfriend, so I, uh... I think I want to try this again and show you how much of a good boyfriend I can be. I can put you above the fame, because I think I really do love you, and my heart belongs with yours. I- Are you crying?"

You sniffle, wiping at your eyes. "P- Pau..." you murmur, your voice cracking. "You... You're so..." You cough a little, and let out a little hiccup.

"You... I'm sorry for making you cry..." he says right away, concern etched into his face.

You throw your arms around him and begin crying softly into his shoulder. He gently rubs your back, as you press the roses against his.

"You made me cry so much," you breathe. "More than you'll ever know."

"Oh, Y/n," he breathes. And there's regret in his voice. Real regret. "I'm so sorry... Please let me make it up to you now."

You sniff, leaning away to look up at him. "You don't care that my hair is tangled right now? Or that I'm just wearing my pajamas?"

"If I did, that would show I really haven't come around. Of course I don't care. I'm just glad you're here... In... in my arms again."

You sniff and nod. "Thank- Thank you, Pau... For everything. And I forgive you. I forgive you," you take in a few deep breathes, before adding, "And thanks for the roses. They're nice. Smell nice."

He nods, his eyes softening even further. "So... you'll give me another chance?"

You hesitate for only a second, before nodding. "Yes, I will."

He pulls you into another hug, wrapping you in his strong warmth.

It feels like true comfort. Like he really does care.

You breathe a breath of fresh air.

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agent-calivide · 8 months

Text

IEYTD 3 Theory

I fully plan on making a full blown theory video compiling all of my evidence, HOWEVER, I am also an impatient bitch who wants to be able to say "I called it" in case this ends up taking a month to make or something like that- so enjoy a new textwall :)

MAJOR IEYTD 3 SPOILERS

In the latest game, you can find seven coins known as phantom coins that are left by a mysterious person known only as the Phantom. Six of them are hidden in each level and then one additional one you find in your main hub that you unlock after beating the game. Getting all the coins reveals a note left by the phantom that reads: “It seems you’re as good as they say, Phoenix. They used to say I was good, too. But I made a choice. And before they get you killed, I hope you realize you have the same choice: to die or to live.”

At the bottom there's a code that reads “I Expect You To Live” when deciphered. There's also notably a line from the Handler where he comments on how the person who gets those coins where they need to be has to be even stealthier than Phoenix, which is impressive since Phoenix is the top agent currently.

But it wasn’t always that way. Phoenix has only recently risen to Agency Fame, there was an agent that was number one before them, and we know who it is. At the end of every level in IEYTD 3, we open in a board room of sorts, looking down at our office in the Babadag EOD base, and to the side of us there’s a wall of portraits, all of various important figureheads of the EOD. The director, the our handler, doctor Prism, etcetera, but one of them is missing. Snoop around, and you find a portrait of a young, brunette woman, V. Vitti, reveled to be Valeri Vitti if you play with subtitles on, and she is labeled as the lead field agent. The previous number one.

Between the fact that she was taken off the wall and hidden, it didn’t take long to conclude that VV was the Phantom, supported by the fact that the star icon that’s associated with the phantom looks like two interlocking V’s. Valeri Vitti.

Now we know who the phantom is, but that doesn’t really do much for us story wise other than maybe the promise of facing our predecessor in a future game, how does a character that’s never been mentioned even in passing until now really pack a narrative punch? Except, the phantom has been there, even if she was never mentioned.

In the first game, in operation Winter Break, we see a portrait of a young brunette woman in Zor’s office. The very same woman who’s in a group photo with all of the other figureheads, V. Vitti. I’ve seen a lot of people conclude that this means that either Vitti is Zor, or she’s working with Zor, but I don’t personally buy it.

When it comes to her being Zor, it doesn’t really make sense. Zor is shown to be very protective of their identity, not only using voice modulators any time they talk to Phoenix, but also using the neutral terms “they/them” according to the devs in the official discord. As far as I know, this has not changed, even if Schell uses “he” on occasion while talking about the game in interviews. Functionally, when talking about the context of the games and what we’ve been presented, we aren’t supposed to know anything about Zor. Race, gender, age, it’s all up in the air, a nebulous void of information. And we’re supposed to think this person? Who has hidden their identity to the point of having a completely blank file with nothing but “confidential” slapped all over it also has a massive portrait of themselves in their office? Not only that, but in their office that’s primed to go off with traps in case an agent gets in? It seems reckless at best, and honestly really out of character to me.

Zor having an egotistical display of themselves in their office is more like something Juniper would do. Zor isn’t one to lavish themselves in attention and make themselves the focus of anything. They only come out of the shadows when things get serious. Phoenix interrupting the peacekeeper, finding their hidden lab where they ran the kinesium experiments that could foil their entire plot, getting to Operation K-Boom and working with Prism to thwart their other major scheme. They wouldn’t just have their whole identity on display and risk losing their anonymity. But you know what it does look like? A photo of a loved one on your desk. It’s quite common in offices, be it corporate or cubical, to have photos of your loved ones to get you through the day, to remember what you’re doing it for while you’re making a thousand spreadsheets and wanting to bash your head into your desk. It’s a way to have a piece of yourself and what you care about at work.

So Zor knows the Phantom but isn’t her, why would they not be working together in that case? After all, the Phantom seems just on keen on getting Phoenix off the field as Zor, isn’t that a good sign that they have the same goals?

Not exactly.

Zor shows such contempt for Phoenix, they want that agent dead, and they want it to be as soon as possible. They don’t want Phoenix off the field by any means necessary, even if that’s a comfy retirement, they want them gone. Out of the picture, they celebrate when Phoenix dies. If you look at the coroner report, there’s a note in the corner from Zor that says they understand if people want to take time to celebrate. Zor, the person who has crummy escape pods for their workers that frequently lead to their Operatives getting killed, has little qualms about dropping their scientists into fiery infernos over who knows how minor of an infraction, has their workers in the mines do inhumanly long shifts and simply won’t let them leave, and in some cases outright lies to their workers and leaves them abandoned at work sites like Ollie in the underwater lab, gives permission for their workers to party, if for a short while, in the event of the death of the Phoenix.

That goes beyond some minor or even major inconvenience, Zor puts their basic fundamentals aside to allow everyone a window of celebration in the even of Phoenix’s death. There is no way they’d leave a note saying they expect Phoenix to put themselves first and take care of themselves, to put themselves before the EOD. Nor would any of their top operatives or moles, everyone at Zoraxis despises Phoenix, and it’s Phoenix in specific. None of these people want Phoenix to go have a peaceful life in the country side, they want to mount the agents head on a wall like a trophy.

But someone who would?

A former agent who was in Phoenix’s exact shoes.

Throughout IEYTD 3, you can flip between Public Radio and Agency Radio. The public radio is mostly just the game soundtrack with a few little advertisements that tell you more about the world, but the Agency radio is much more interesting. Through it, we get updates on the EOD’s world, we hear a handler give run-downs to all of the agents about what’s going on with the Kinesium experiments, what’s going on with Prism, rules about staying a football field away from other agents, things like that. But one of the first things we hear from this agency broadcast is that Agent Phoenix is not just a secret agent. They’re a famous secret agent. One so big that the amount of agents joining the EOD is staggering, and they’ll run out of kinesium for their TK chips at this rate.

A funny little side tangent for sure, but consider: What’s keeping former agents off of those radio waves? Nothing, in fact, we see that the station is compromised in a note left BY the Phantom, and the last phantom coin you get is by entering a code left on your desk by them with said note. So who’s to say Vitti didn’t have access to an agency radio, heard everything that was going on with the Phoenix, and chose to step in. To let them know that there is another option. That Phoenix doesn’t have to keep risking their life for an agency that treats them like a number and a trophy rather than a person. But she didn't want her identity potentially outed, so she quickly took her photo off the wall and tucked it into a hiding space in hopes of Phoenix not finding it.

But Zor does know Vitti. After all, her portrait is in their office. Which leads to my next point, we hear in Operation: Squeaky Clean from the first game that Zor’s not doing these things because they’re just a bad person who wants to watch the world burn. They specifically want vengeance on the agency, but vengeance for what? Sure, it could just be the agency constantly getting in the way of their plans, but what made them start in the first place? What drove them to decide that they wanted to go down this route of villainy? Surely there’s gotta be something other than just “they want to rule the world”, Zor basically already ruled it at the beginning of the series. They’re a corporate billionaire that was able to get away with filling popsicles with enough lead to kill a person instantly, and they didn’t get anything more than a slap on the wrist? They could have done anything they wanted at that point, why make a giant death laser in outer space, they coulda spent that money doing literally anything else?

But who do they aim it at? Not the heads of state. Not a symbol of peace. Not even a test run in the ocean. Their first ever laser strike is aimed at an EOD base. An EOD base with the man that at some point was the lead support agent, someone who knew Vitti personally, Reginald Crane. Our Handler. That wasn’t a random shot, nor was it a scheme to take over the world. It was a personal attack on the Enhanced Operatives Division.

So, jump a few pet sharks with me as I spin a story for you. The EOD is established and has dozens, hundreds of competent agents even, and they’re able to stop international global crisis and villainous organizations by working underground. As time goes on, one agent stands out from the rest, Valari Vitti, an agent so good at sneaking in without a trace, she quickly climbs the ranks and becomes the lead field agent at the EOD.

But people are more than just their work, as is Vitti. She could be a friend, a sister, or, and this is my personal theory, someone’s lover. Their wife. Sure, working at the EOD is dangerous, but that’s just part of it, and if her partner knew, say they too worked at the EOD or Vitti was simply able to open up about her work, then there’d be no secrets. A needed relief from the stress of agency things. No need for a double life, she’d be able to be herself around them.

But as she keeps progressing up the ranks, she realizes things can’t go on like this forever. She can’t keep going to this dangerous job, there are risks! How long until she was hurt? Maimed? Killed!? She can’t keep doing this. It’s not viable, she likely will die if she doesn’t make this decision for herself and leave.

So. She does. She doesn’t resign, doesn’t go through the process of making an official exit, she just disappears. If she simply resigned, her photo wouldn’t still be up, and it sure as heck wouldn’t be tucked away in the pot of a random snake plant. The EOD could have found her a replacement, some sort of backup, anyone who’s worked in business has watched a coworker die and get replaced in chillingly short time, something the EOD doesn’t seem to be above. They can’t afford to be above it, agents die every day.

So there’s no reason for Vitti’s portrait to still be in that frame if she died. But if she simply vanished, then that could explain why she’s still up there on that wall. The EOD didn’t replace her, because they may have still been looking for her. We know that when an agent vanishes, the EOD sends people to try and recover them. The site of the PeaceKeeper is checked for Phoenix’s body, we know it is thanks to Reginald’s recording at the end of IEYTD 2. The EOD always will try to find an agent or what remains of them.

Over time, perhaps they gave up. Went to close the case but never got around to it because the EOD is always busy.

But Vitti’s spouse never forgot. They sure as hell never forgave either. Their wife was gone without a trace, and they had nothing left of her but her photos and an EOD lighter that they keep in a safe in their office. They knew they had to get revenge, they had to make the people that took their loved one suffer. So, they went to work. They established a business and gave themselves the fake name Zor and called the business Zoraxis.

They hunker down, and simply plot and scheme for a while. They claw their way up the social and economic ladder. They cut every corner, take every shortcut, and they hoard as much money as they possibly can and establish themselves as a cruel, immoral person that doesn’t care about the health or safety of their workers on the way up. As time goes on, they start their second half of their plan: Creating an entire establishment with the main goal of taking down the EOD.

They take in anyone who will help with their goals, the more deranged the better. A scientist who loves to burn things and wants to create a super laser? Give her the money and tell her to fire her first shot at the building their late wife used to work at. An unhinged fashion designer obsessed with maiming and death? Wonderful, you can deal with all the pains in my side that get in the way. Anything to finally bring down the people who cost them everything.

But the Death Engine didn’t work. Not only did some random pest destroy it, it didn’t even take down one of the people they wanted dead the most, the lead Support Agent. Maybe Zor particularly hates the man who was supposed to be watching Vitti, keeping her safe. And now?

Not only is he alive, but he’s taken on a new agent who’s taking Vitti’s place? Some random nobody who’s been a pest, who should have died ages ago, not only was getting in their way, but was also apparently good enough to replace their lost loved one without so much as a passing glance? No. They were going to take down the EOD one way or another. The EOD’s a secret organization from even the government, maybe if they take hostile control then they’ll be able to take them down. Sure, the EOD survived a laser, but there’s no way they’ll survive nukes, right? Surely, surely that will get them their revenge-

But no. That agent comes back. They come back and ruin everything. By the time Operation K-Boom happens, not only has the Phoenix ruined several of their most complicated plans that were years in the making, but they had solidly taken the position of their late wife. They took the only thing she had left. A legacy. How dare that pesky Phoenix think they can just step in and replace the one they hold dearly so carelessly? So thoughtlessly? They. Had. To. Die.

Of course, it doesn’t work. Phoenix wins, and Zor is back to the drawing board. The only major thing that gets in the way of this is why wouldn’t Vitti tell her partner that she was leaving the EOD? Going into hiding? Well, the IEYTD franchise isn’t a stranger to having agents split off. In Operation Fifth Class, we see Phoenix try to rescue a woman known as Anna Ulanova. Anna says a few things to the agent, but the last thing we hear is her saying she’d try to come find them, but she had a suspicion that they wouldn’t leave their life. They wouldn’t quit fieldwork.

So we’ve seen cases where there’s an agent and someone who’s not quite in the circle but is aware of what’s going on splitting off because the agent can’t stop putting work first. In the same vein, we’ve seen other relationships fall apart due to someone being unable to stop putting work first.

Leading up to the third game, Schell games released a bunch of ciphers and puzzles that lead to minor lore drops. One of them was shawnsdesk, a collection of files made by Shawn in HR about various characters from the franchise. Most of them were important characters. Solaris, Fabricator, Juniper, Zor, but there were two that were notable.

Shawn in HR, and Sam in accounting. Shawn’s is, of course, mostly just him inflating his own ego and talking about how good he is at making files on all of the people at the EOD, but Sam is where it gets interesting.

We have heard nothing about Sam at this point, and looking over the file, it’s messy. Full of snide insults, catty remarks, Shawn filling this report with resentment, but over what? A bad breakup. Sam telling Shawn that he can’t be with him because Shawn won’t stop putting work first. Why would Schell show us this now, during this window of time where everyone's clawing for more lore and content of the third game? Why show a random lover's quarrel in the middle of all of this story relevant content? I suspect that it's because Shawn and Sam's story is lore relevant, it's just not their lore we're meant to be focused on.

This series has a running theme of two people getting along, maybe even being in love or romantically inclined, and then it falling apart because someone can’t stop putting work first. Phoenix and Anna, Sam and Shawn, and now, or rather long in the past, Vitti and Zor. Maybe, the two were in a rough patch, or had gotten into arguments about Vitti's dangerous work. Maybe she was sick of feeling this upset resentment for her partner and decided she didn’t just want to quit the EOD and try to fix things with Zor. She wanted out. She wanted to start over. Completely over. She wanted to live.

#i expect you to die #ieytd2 #ieytd #ieytd fandom #i expect you to die 2 #agent phoenix #i expect you to die 3 #ieytd 3 #ieytd spoilers #ieytd 3 spoilers #ieytd theory

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penny00dreadful · 4 months

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Spies AU - Part 14

Part 1 Part 15 AO3

19th November 2015

The plan was simple.

As simple as a super fucking complicated plan could be.

Get the kids in on it, send them out to protect Eddie’s people, have Robin coordinate them all and as soon as Steve was given the signal that it was safe to proceed, he’d go in and put a bullet in Creel’s head.

At least, that was the farthest that both he and Eddie had gotten in the planning process before they got… distracted.

Neither of them could help it.

It was just so fucking nice to have a… a partner around in his space.

To get lost in kisses or have a body pressed up against his back while he made them something to eat. To sit in front of the television with something on that they both had agreed to watch, only to end up not watching it at all because they just couldn’t stop talking.

The only other person Steve had ever had such an easy time talking to for hours was Robin.

It was like he had never understood how two people could click so quickly before her.

Within, like, ten minutes of knowing each other they were sharing in-jokes and gossiping about their hometowns.

With Eddie it was similar.

Different but similar.

While they had known each other for a number of months now, they had barely had enough time to talk to one another without flirting up a storm or running.

Eddie was so easy to talk to. He was charming and weird and a little childish and sharp and while it was different to how he and Robin clicked, he and Eddie clicked just as well.

Steve honestly couldn’t wait for the day he could introduce the two of them and just stand back and watch, like it was going to be some tennis match, seeing them bounce off each other.

All of that was fantastic.

It was magical.

Steve was…

Steve was so fucking in love.

He figured there was no point in denying it to himself anymore.

He could feel it radiating out through every one of his cells.

He was in love with Eddie Munson and he was so fucking happy to be there.

He was pretty sure his lack of nerves about it came down to the fact that Eddie did very little to hide his own feelings.

Steve could sense it off of him that he felt the same.

They hadn’t said it to each other.

Despite how long they’d known each other already, they had only just had their first date.

If Steve could call an undercover mission to an enemy gala and then having to be snuck out by an enemy assassin that he was in love with a ‘date’, but he figured it qualified.

He couldn’t see a reason why it wouldn’t.

And then there was the sex.

Oh, holy hell, there was the sex.

Though Eddie had been well and truly worn out by Steve the night before, he was too sensitive and it would just be a little too far on the wrong side of painful to go at it exactly as they had, that didn’t mean they didn’t explore each other in the exact ways they had wanted to for the longest time.

But this time they could take things a little slower.

And they could switch it up.

After a conversation, when Eddie strapped him down to one of his dining chairs in much the same way he had back in July, Steve thought he was going to blow his load in record time.

But Eddie had no intentions of letting that happen.

Steve was forced to sit, with his arms tied behind his back, ankles tied down to the legs of the chair with his legs slightly spread while Eddie grinned down at him.

“Are you gonna answer my questions?” He asked, leaning down to plant a hand on either of Steve’s knees.

Steve was a lot less composed than he had been last time, when they had done this for real and so his response was less biting and more breathy than he had wanted it to be.

“Depends.” He exhaled, his hips twitching up. “Are you gonna answer mine?”

Eddie’s smile turned sharp, more of that dark and mysterious energy taking over him again, causing Steve’s heart to thump loudly in his chest and a dribble of precum to spill out, making its way down his cock before Eddie swiped it up with the barest of touches, using just the very tip of his tongue and Steve whined.

“You’re gonna be a handful, aren’t you sweetheart?”

Steve didn’t know how long he ended up being edged for. Light brushes of Eddie’s fingers and scant, fleeting moments in his mouth were all mixed together with biting and flirtatious words, leaving Steve a red-faced and desperate wreck who could barely string a sentence together.

He had the option to tap out if he needed to, of course he did. Both of them knew the rules but Steve had never had it quite like this before and though he was aching with the need to cum, he was going to keep going for as long as he could.

By the time Eddie finally took him the whole way down to the back of his throat in one go and sucked, Steve was at a razors edge and he came so hard he didn’t make a single sound, all of it caught in his throat while his entire body seized up, even his fucking lungs stopped working for a second.

Eddie was the sweetest in the aftermath as well, his hands were gentler than Steve ever thought possible for someone who killed so easily.

He untied the ropes around him with a soft touch, taking his time to slowly knead the muscles in his legs and arms, rubbing down his shoulders, getting the blood flowing again and keeping him cared for, whispering sweet words to him all the while, uncaring for the dampness seeping through his own pants.

After that they ate, they talked, they relaxed together, the both of them trying to ignore the looming shadow of time ticking down until the inevitable moment that Eddie had to go.

They lingered by Steve’s front door for nearly a half an hour.

Every time they let go of one another, it only lasted for a few seconds before they were inevitably drawn back, the both of them finding it much, much harder to say their goodbyes this time than it had ever been at any point in the past.

They had a plan to meet up at a different location in a couple of weeks.

Plenty of time for Steve to organise his mini-spies and send them out to do their parts.

Plenty of time for Eddie to work out Creel’s next movements and report back on where would be best for Steve to strike.

Plenty of time.

And then they would have all the time in the world.

It didn’t make it any easier.

Steve hated the idea of Eddie stepping foot back into that life again, even if it was just for a short time.

He was desperate to get him out, but they couldn’t do anything by halves.

It had to work.

So Eddie had to leave.

He had to go back to that life and pretend nothing had changed.

As much as Eddie hadn’t liked it when he’d said it, as much as he insisted that it wasn’t worth it, Steve swore to himself he’d get Eddie out if it killed him.

20th November 2015

Steve watched with a nervous air as the kids all piled into his apartment, gravitating towards their favourite spots around the room, on the couch or the armchairs like they always did whenever Steve had them over.

He had claimed it was just a usual hangout, some line he’d always give them to have them over but they all sobered up when he opened the door, his body language and expression telling them that this wasn’t their usual kind of hangout, this was something more serious.

Many pairs of eyes bounced from Steve to Robin who was standing next to him, her own face steely and determined, hoping that maybe she would be able to provide some more answers.

But Steve saw her shake her head subtly at them out of the corner of his eye, letting them know that he had to be the one to talk about this.

Steve stood there in silence for what was probably too long, trying to figure out just how to start. Dustin, Max, Lucas, Will, Mike and even El were all here, even though El was not an Agent, but where Max went, El went, only really separating when they absolutely had to and regardless, El was one of his kids. He’d been thinking about suggesting to Robin that she might work in an analyst's position at some point in the future.

As he looked around at all of them, he decided he’d have to start now, whether he’d found the right words or not, otherwise he’d never start at all. He walked forward, standing in front of the TV, facing all of them with his hands on his hips.

“I’m sending you out on a mission.”

“Together?” Lucas asked at the same time Mike said “All of us?” and Dustin frowned.

“We haven’t received any kind of info pack on a new mission.”

Steve held a hand up, both a little surprised and proud when the kids fell silent, recognising that this was more serious than arguing over the remote.

“Not exactly together. Same mission, different locations. Yes, all of you apart from Ellie, obviously. And The Agency hasn’t given you an info pack on this because The Agency doesn’t know about it. This is personal. This is something I’m asking you to do for me, not for them.”

He paused, waiting for questions or demands for more info or outright refusal, but none of it came.

“You can refuse.” He said, making sure they knew it was an option, though he really fucking hoped none of them would. If they did, keeping Eddie’s people safe had just gotten a lot more complicated. “This could go badly for all of us when The Agency finds out, because they will find out, I just hope it’s after we’ve done what we need to do. I don’t know how Hopper will react to this.”

“He trusts you, Steve.” El spoke softly but confidently, having been safehoused with Hopper while Brenner was being hunted down in the year between her escape and his execution.

They’d gotten very close and were still very close after all these years.

Steve felt the corner of his mouth pull up in a little grin despite his attempts to keep things serious. Hopper would probably scream at him until he was blue in the face once all of this was over but at least Steve wouldn’t be losing his head.

Probably.

“Why doesn’t The Agency know?” Dustin asked.

Steve looked at all of them individually,taking his time to read their faces, their posture, their nerves. Like he was expecting to, he found nothing. He knew he wouldn’t. There was no way one of the kids was the mole.

“We think it might be compromised.”

“It’s a spy agency.” Lucas was looking incredulous. “Doesn’t everyone always think it might be compromised?”

“No?” Mike answered, whipping his head around to stare at him. “Do you think that?”

Lucas looked surprised. “Do you not?”

Steve raised his hands again just as Dustin opened his mouth to interject and though he tore his eyes from Mike, he didn’t stay silent as he looked back up at Steve.

“And this potential mole or double agent or whoever is related to this mission you’re sending us on?”

Steve sighed. “You don’t have to do it-”

Max rolled her eyes. “Of course we’re going to do it.”

“Yeah, duh, of course we’re going to do it.” Dustin matched her with an exaggerated eye roll of his own. “But you wouldn’t be hiding this from The Agency if there wasn’t a reason to and it makes the most sense the mole and this secret mission would be related.”

“You’re right, they’re related.”

Dustin gave himself a little fistbump with a delighted grin on his face.

“What kind of mission is it?” Will asked..

“Protection.” Steve glanced around sighing to himself when he realised he’d forgotten to bring them out. “Ellie, there’s a stack of photos on my desk in my office, can you get them for me?”

El nodded, getting up and quietly slipping out of the room.

“There’s four people we think are being watched by the enemy, lying in wait for orders to harm or potentially kill them. I need you to eliminate that possibility.”

“So is it, like, spy versus spy?” Mike asked.

Steve nodded. “Something like that.”

“Do we get to leave America?” There was a little bit of hope in Will’s voice at the possibility of being able to see some more of the world on the job.

“Unfortunately not, bud.” He replied with a grimace. “Kinda the opposite. You’re going to be going to Bumfuck Nowhere Indiana-”

He was cut off by the sound of the photos scattering across the floor and he snapped his eyes up to find El standing stock still in the doorway, white faced and terrified, staring down at the photo clutched in her shaking hand.

“Steve,” she whispered to him and he was over to her in less than three strides, stepping through the other photos on the floor. “Who is this man?”

He looked down, blinking confused and worried because why was this particular photo freaking her out so much?

It was a photo of Wayne, taken through one of the windows of his trailer with a telephoto lens. He was relaxed back in his armchair, hooked up to his dialysis machine, laughing while his nurse Connie grinned at him, warm and easy, her hands over Wayne’s arm where the tubes had been inserted, checking.

There was nothing off about the photo, there were dozens more like it in the stack, video files and audio files on Steve’s computer showing their companionship. They had an ease between each other that told him they’d known each other for a long time. Probably since he first started his treatments. She might have been the first and only nurse he’d dealt with after all.

He looked back up at El’s face, she was staring at him with a kind of half scared, half determined intensity.

“This man,” she said, her voice steady despite the shaking of her hands, “is in grave danger.”

Steve felt his eyes widen, his heart kicking up in speed. How could she possibly know that just from this photo alone?

“The woman-” El swallowed and oh fuck. Was she dangerous? But how could El know her? “She’s… she was… Dr. Brenner…” She shook her head, taking a deep breath in.

It was so difficult for her to talk about her time before, before they got her out, when she was stuck in that place, Steve knew it, he’d seen the nightmares, the panic attacks, the terrors. He felt a small thread of white hot anger course through him at just the name of that man.

“Brenner’s dead, Elllie.” Steve muttered, putting a hand on her shoulder and stooping down to meet her eye. “I put the final bullet in him myself. And then a few more for good measure. I checked. I made sure. He’s dead.”

“I know.” She whispered back, with a small smile on her face. “I know. But he had… There were people working under him. His favourites. The ones he had to do different things for him and…” She tightened her fist around the photo again, crumpling it. “She was his most dangerous.”

“She..?” He looked back down, taking a big breath, trying to calm his racing heart, his racing mind. Most other people would have said El was mistaken. That she was misremembering or had gotten confused but there was no way. El didn’t forget faces. Ever. Especially after the shit she’d been through.

So Connie was an undercover agent of some kind? She must be. But she had apparently also worked for Brenner. And then Brenner’s whole operation had been taken down by Steve himself so there was nothing of it left.

Could she be working for Creel now?

Fuck, how would that have even happened? Did he seek her out? Was she another whispered name amongst the underworld, someone Creel wanted on his side? But then why was she stuck on guard duty, keeping an eye on Wayne?

A very close eye on Wayne.

A very close, very dangerous eye on a very vulnerable Wayne who could conceivably die quickly from some ‘unfortunate’ dialysis complication if she got the call.

Creel must have put her over Wayne because… because he knew that Wayne was the most important one of the four to Eddie.

So he put his best next to him, to watch over him, to keep Eddie in line.

And Eddie had no idea how much danger Wayne had truly been in this whole time.

Jesus Christ, okay.

“Connie Frazier. She was his…” El shook her head. “I don’t know what the word is. She did his big jobs for him, got people to obey, tracked them down or got them to talk… all that kind of stuff. Steve, every moment she’s with him he's in danger.”

“Fuck, okay. Okay. Well I had kinda guessed he was being watched but at least we know by who now-”

“Oh my god…”

He whipped around to find Max crouched amongst the photos, her face slack with shock before morphing into anger.

“What?” He asked, keeping a hand on El’s shoulder as they both moved closer to her.

“What do you mean, what?” She asked, her tone incredulous, her face angry, shoving the photo towards him. He could just make out Gareth’s impressive head of hair and the garage in the background while she shook it around in his face.

“That’s Billy.”

“What?!” He snatched the photo out of her hand, holding it up close to his face to examine it.

Holy shit.

He’d cut his hair and wasn’t covered in double denim like he usually was, but Jesus Christ that was him. Steve had never seen him in person, never met him, never fucking wanted to, but he’d seen his intake mugshot.

What the fuck was this guy doing out?

Max’s douchebag gangland brother, standing there in the flesh next to Gareth, in the same overalls, the same grease and dirt over his hands and up his arms, helping him with the finer movements he couldn’t quite manage anymore because of his hand.

Had Billy dropped the car on Gareth’s hand? Had he been the one to crush it? Make it look like an accident? He would have been there, he’d been at the garage just as long as Gareth had.

How could he have missed it? How could he have missed this? What the fuck else had he missed.

“Shit, okay.” He dropped to his knees, rifling through the photos, getting back to his feet when he had a few of Jeff and Grant sorted into his hands, holding them out to the rest of the kids. “Recognise anyone else here?”

The boys all looked at each other before taking a few into their hands, Robin looking over their shoulders.

“God damn it.” Will muttered, holding up a photo to Steve, pinched in between his thumb and forefinger.

It was Jeff, sitting in the staff room of the school with the [student teacher] at his side. It looked like they were in the middle of some good natured debate.

“That’s James Dante.” Will said, scowling.

“And this,” Mike turned his own photo around, the guy who owned the flower shop next to Grant’s studio was delivering a fresh bouquet like he did every morning, “is Troy Walsh.”

“Are we being targeted or something?” Dustin asked, glancing in between all the photos. “Why are they all related to people we’ve dealt with in the past?”

Robin shook her head. “No, I don’t think it’s that. There’s been some chatter over the last few years about this. Creel likes to have the best under his belt. Other crime lords and gang bosses bitching about the fact that anyone they do approach to come work for them has already been snatched up by him. Once one pillar falls, Brenner for example, he swoops in to take his people and with it he gains their power, their influence.”

“Then why does all this seem to be localised to us?” Mike asked. “And who are these people anyway? What have they done to piss Henry fucking Creel off so much?”

“Because,” Robin stepped around the kids to stand beside Steve who was having a little bit of trouble forming words at the moment, forming thoughts.

Eddie’s family was in so much danger, much more than they’d ever thought and he had no way to tell him, no way to let him know. Fuck, he had to do something. He had to get them out. This was no longer just about Eddie it was about them now too and his skin was practically crawling with the urge to jump into a fucking car or a plane or a god damned helicopter if it got him to them quick enough.

Robin’s hand slipped into his and he was brought back down, just a little bit, just enough to tune back in.

“The people you were all up against before you came to join The Agency were some of the best, or the worst depending on your point of view, in the country.” She continued. “That is why you are such successful Agents and why these guys are the guys watching over our targets. Because you are the best of the best and they are the worst of the worst.”

“Okay.” Mike crossed his arms, a furrow in his brow, thinking. “That makes sense, but again, what the fuck could these small town nobodies have done to piss Creel off?”

“They didn’t.” Steve said. “They didn’t do anything. They’re collateral. They’re being used to keep someone in line.”

“They’re being threatened?” Max asked, her face hard.

“Yeah. Their lives are on the line and they don’t even know it. This person… I’m trying to get him out from under Creel. But to do that we need to secure his people first. We need to remove the threat over them.”

“Who’s the person?”

Steve looked over at Robin who squeezed his hand and raised her eyebrows. “You’re gonna have to tell them eventually, babe.”

He sighed, looking out at all the kids' expectant faces. Fuck, he kept calling them kids. It was too easy to see them that way, the small thread of anxiety in his stomach at the thought of sending them out, but at the same time they’d been doing this for years. They were competent, they were skilled, they could do this but he didn’t think he’d ever be able to stop seeing them as their younger scared selves, like they had been when he’d pulled them out of their various situations.

“It’s Kas.” He said, feeling the deja vu taking over him, it felt like he’d been through this a hundred times before already.

Mike snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure. Okay.” He looked at Robin, expecting her to be sharing some kind of secret smile with Steve about the joke, or giving it away by trying to keep her face straight but when he found none of that, just agreement in her expression, he faltered.

“Wait, seriously?”

“Super-seriously.” She answered.

“Like… like Kas? The Bloodyhanded?” Dustin’s eyes were bugging out of his head.

“Yep.” Steve nodded. “The Bloodyhanded, the Shadow of Hawkins, the Demon of Dresden all of them. That Kas.”

“You can’t be fucking serious.” Lucas shook his head in disbelief. “Kas is like a… he’s like a fucking ghost story-”

“That’s another of his names, actually. The Ghost.” Steve interjected but Lucas barrelled on.

“He’s real? And he wants to leave? Are you sure… like…” Lucas ran a frustrated hand over his hair, “Couldn’t he take care of this himself? He’s Kas. How do you know you’re not being, like… I don’t know how to say it without sounding like an ass.”

Steve gave him a small smile. He understood. He’d be worried in the same way about the kids or Robin if they came to him with this information but he wasn’t quite sure how to make them all believe he wasn’t being tricked.

“I get it, man. I do. But this is for real. You’re just gonna have to trust me here. These,” he shook the photos in his hand and gestured to the photos in the kids hands, “are Kas’ people. They’re being used to keep him under Creel’s power. We need to secure them, take out the guys watching them before I can strike at Creel.”

“Jesus Christ.” Max threw her arms out in frustration, pinning Steve under her glare. “You don’t do anything by half measures, do you?”

She was worried about him, worried he was getting in too deep, he could tell. And maybe he had. Maybe this was a suicide mission and he would end up dead by the end of it, but as he said to Eddie, it would be worth it if it freed him.

“No, I don’t. And I’m gonna be honest, finding out who has been watching over Kas’ people has changed things. I understand if none of you wanted to-”

“It changes nothing, Steve.” Max growled. “We’re still going in. Because there’s no way you’ll let this go and if we refuse you’ll just try and do it yourself and definitely get yourself killed. We’re not little kids anymore. We can handle it.”

He looked around at the rest of the kids, all of them nodding, all of them determined. God, Steve loved them so much.

“Fuck, okay. Let’s get into it, then.”

4th December 2015

Steve’s leg bounced up and down, rapid and constant as he kept his eyes peeled, gazing around the park.

His nerves were so frayed, his anxiety was spiking and it was only getting worse as the hours passed.

He was freezing his ass off here, the metal bench was painfully cold under him, despite they layers he was wearing but in all honesty he was having difficulty paying attention to the temperature because his mind was fucking spiralling.

He didn’t dare move from his spot.

Even as the daylight began to wane, he didn’t dare fucking move.

He was probably conspicuous as hell.

A lone man sitting nervously on an icy park bench for hours, surrounded by dog walkers and joggers and kids in the playground and skateboarders, never once moving from his perch.

But he couldn’t move until he was sure.

Because Eddie was late.

Hours late.

Steve was desperate to see him.

He needed to update him on everything because so much had happened and Eddie hadn’t been in contact.

Not only had they discovered who exactly was watching over Wayne, Gareth, Jeff and Grant, but the kids had been there for about a week now, observing from afar, learning their schedules, finding their openings to take them out.

All they needed was the go ahead.

But to do that, Steve needed to see Eddie., needed to tell him, needed to talk it out.

And Eddie wasn’t showing.

God, what had happened to him? Was he okay? What if it was worse than last time?

Or what if Eddie wasn’t battered and bruised and broken, coming to him for safety? What if Eddie never turned up?

What if he was locked away somewhere in some deep dark dungeon of Creel’s? Steve would go and get him out, of course. He’d destroy everything in his path to get Eddie back, to keep him safe, to have him here and whole and free.

But what if he wasn’t locked away somewhere?

What if he was out there somewhere, lying dead in the cold? What if he had died on some mission Creel had sent him out on? What if he had been dead for days now? What if Creel killed him?

And Steve would never know.

He’d never know.

He’d spend the rest of his life not knowing.

No, he refused to let it be that, it couldn’t be that.

There was no way.

Creel had to have him somewhere. Or he got caught up in a mission somewhere. That had to be the reason.

There was no way Eddie had just… not shown.

There had to be a reason.

And Steve was going to find it out.

He stood, groaning to himself, feeling the painful cold stiffness in his hips and knees, rubbing his hands together to try and get some warmth back into them.

He was determined, he needed to get back home, back to his office. He needed to track Creel down, track Eddie down.

He needed to find out what the fuck was going on.

“Birdie.” Steve said, shouldering his way into his apartment building and flipping the switch on his communicator.

“How did it go?” Robin asked, “I would have expected you to be more out of breath after all the kissing or whatever it was you got up to in a public park.”

“He didn’t show.”

“Oh, Evie.” Robin’s voice was sympathetic, hurt for him but he wasn’t hurt.

He wasn’t upset that Eddie hadn’t shown.

He was fucking worried.

“Something has to be wrong.” He said, stepping into the elevator and jabbing a finger into the button for his floor. “He wouldn’t just not show up.”

Robin was silent for a little bit, he could almost hear her work things out in her head, trying to decide if he was making excuses for someone who didn’t deserve it or if he knew what the fuck he was talking about.

“Okay.” She said, quietly but firmly.

She always had such confidence in him.

“I need to find out what it was. If he’s caught up somewhere on a mission, that’s fine, I can’t fault him for it.” He shook his head as he stepped out of the elevator, making his way towards his apartment. “But if something has happened to him… then I need to find him.”

“Evie, have you thought this through. I mean, I love you, you know that, but if the case is that he’s been locked away somewhere then this could be super fucking dangerous and-”

“I know, Birdie, I know.” Steve ran a frustrated hand through his hair, placing his hand down on his front door handle and pushing his way into his apartment when the one lock clicked open. “But I can’t leave him out there. I won’t. I promised him I’d get him out-”

“I get that, Evie-”

“Steve.”

Both he and Robin stopped talking at the sound of a third voice coming from Steve’s couch, reverberating around the apartment like a gunshot.

He froze in his tracks, taken completely off guard, like a deer in the road.

He knew that voice, he knew that figure, he knew that hair.

Eddie was here.

But something was wrong.

He was… It was… Steve couldn’t remember the last time Eddie had used his name. He couldn’t remember the last time Eddie had called him anything other than sweetheart.

Eddie turned his head to look at him and it was different from all the other times before.

Different from when he had glared at him from across his bed, feeling betrayed by the discovery of those photos.

Different from when he had looked at him with so much love and adoration the last time they had seen each other.

Eddie was looking at him and his face was blank.

There wasn’t a hint of emotion there.

No anger, no condescension, no mocking pout, no care, no love. He was completely closed off.

Steve blinked, at loss for words, unable to make anything come out.

Eddie stood, turning his body towards him and Steve’s eyes instinctively flicked down.

He was holding a gun, loose and casual in his hand but even from this distance Steve could see the safety was off.

What… What was happening right now?

Eddie followed his eyeline down, looking at the gun like he had only been vaguely aware of it up until then.

“Evie, what’s happening?” Robin asked, her voice was a little panicked. His vitals were probably lighting up her computer screen like a Christmas tree in his panic and confusion.

“Oh. Yeah.” Eddie said, lifting the gun to look at it a little closer.

His voice was completely flat. There was no emotion in it whatsoever.

He looked at Steve and his eyes were dead. There was no warmth there. No fire, none of that beautiful spark of cheeky, mischievous energy.

He was like a fucking zombie. Just empty, cold, closed off. He’d locked every bit of emotion in his body down, shuttered it away.

His eyes were sunken in, the purpling bruises underneath telling Steve of numerous sleepless nights before today.

Steve took a step closer to him, waiting to wrap him up in his arms, hold him close, comfort him, make it all better.

But he had barely taken that step when Eddie pointed the gun at him.

Steady.

Sure.

Professional.

Steve shook his head, more confused than anything.

Eddie wouldn’t hurt him.

Eddie would never hurt him.

“What the hell is going on?” He asked, feeling his heart in his throat.

“This is how it ends, Steve.” Eddie said monotone, the gun pointed directly at Steve’s chest. “This is always how it was going to end for us. I’m not leaving Creel’s syndicate. It was a fun idea, but unrealistic.”

“Evie. Evie, do something please. Does he have a weapon? Evie, please don’t let yourself be killed like this. I can’t listen to you be killed like this.” Robin begged him over the communicator, miles away, her voice cracking.

Steve shook his head, trying to figure everything out.

He just needed a moment.

He just needed to think.

He needed to find a way to get them out of this situation, whatever was going on.

He looked back up, right into Eddie’s eyes and took that step closer, so close that the muzzle of the gun was hovering less than an inch away from him.

“Baby.”

There it is.

Something in Eddie’s bottom lip twitched. Gone in a flash but Steve had seen it.

“Not now!” Robin snapped, pissed off and unsure and not directed at Steve. “Hey! What the fuck- get off me!”

There was the sound of a struggle before a clatter told him her headset had been dropped down to the desk.

“Birdie?!” Steve felt his eyes widen in panic, and he would have brought his hand up to his ear to try and press his communicator closer, but Eddie’s grip on the gun tightened, like he thought Steve might be moving to grab a weapon, so he froze, he stopped moving despite the panic.

“Baby, what is going on?” Steve practically shrieked desperately while Eddie swallowed, like there was something harsh in his throat, though his eyes stayed empty.

“It was fun while it lasted, Steve.” He said, his voice shaking a little, his hand starting to shake too. “I’m sorry it had to end like this.”

Steve could only blink at him in disbelief, finally making a decision.

He moved closer, pressing his sternum into the muzzle of the gun.

“You won’t hurt me, baby.”

Then Steve closed his eyes, deciding to put his complete trust in the man he loved and make it obvious that was what he was doing.

The last thing he saw before he did was the tremble of Eddie’s bottom lip and the pain breaking clear as day into his beautiful eyes.

There was silence in the apartment for a moment, but just for a moment until Eddie pulled the trigger and the sound of a gunshot cracked through the air.

4th December 2015

Miles away, in a mansion with gold veined marble floors and stolen ancient Grecian statues, a man leaned back in his office chair. His fingers tightened at the lip of the opulent mahogany wood desk as satisfaction curled itself around his shoulders, the zing of the control he oh so loved to have lighting his brain up with joy.

A wide grin was splitting his face, revelling in the pain he’d just caused, nearly making him giddy.

He stared at the flatlined vitals of the Agent on his screen. No doubt his analyst was screaming along with them.

Delicious.

He lamented the fact that he couldn’t have been there in person but a hacked communicator was the best he could do under the circumstances he’d been given.

The Agency was good.

They had gotten their hands on it in July, and had only managed to break through recently.

Still.

It had allowed him to overhear the slight shake of his assassin's voice as he was forced to learn his place, relearn who he belonged to.

Heartbreak was always such a fantastic cocktail.

Creel leaned forward again, dragging a finger across Agent Harrington’s flat heart rate on screen.

“Good boy.” He hummed to himself.

Part 1 Part 15 AO3

@geekymagicalpotato @estrellami-1

Divider by firefly-graphics

Big thanks as always to @hbyrde36 for the magnificent beta work and to the @strangerthingswritersguild for their motivation

#steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #penny00dreadful #steddie fanfic #steddie fic #fanfic #pennys anniversary event #spies au #spy steve harrington #robin buckley #guy in the chair robin #cat and mouse spy fic #assassin eddie

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coweye · 9 months

Text

Commitment Issues - Part 9

Pairing: Benjamin Miller x Reader Words: 5.0K Summary: When you try and take your friends with benefits relationship to the next level, Benny’s response isn’t quite what you were expecting.

Warnings: Finally there's warnings again! Slight Angst, NSFW - respect the 18+ pls, cuteness.

So, this fic has always been close to my heart.

I wrote this two years ago about a guy I was seeing but wanted more from. (Full disclosure, he’s no Benny Miller and luckily I didn’t have his baby.) It was a way of daydreaming the way my life could’ve gone. I never could’ve imagined you guys would embrace it the way you have and it honestly warms my heart so much that there are people out here waiting for an update. I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting.

A few months ago (the not-Benny) actually asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Spoiler alert - he’s really not boyfriend material. So, much as I suspected, it didn't work out, because men aren’t written by women in real life. I’m not surprised or sad, I’m happy I know for sure but it feels like I’ve come full circle and I think it's time I give our girl the ending I didn’t get.

I love you all so much and words can describe how much I appreciate your support.

➢fic masterpost

PREVIOUS PART

Life in the past 48 hours had been… surreal.

You had confessed your love for your baby daddy and then found out that he reciprocated those feelings all before doing the equivalent of pushing a grape out of your nostril.

A baby.

A gorgeous baby girl.

Gorgeous didn’t quite cover it, yet finding a word that described the transcendent beauty of the soul you’d brought forth into this world escaped you, as did a name for the said beauty.

For the time being the angel made human was currently known as TBD or more affectionately Tee. The two of you had been trying out names but a new baby and totally requited feelings didn't automatically cancel out a life-time of bickering.

Your problem was there wasn’t a name you’d heard that actually sounded like her and Ben, god love him, had a habit of picking names from a nursing homes register; Ethel, Millicent, Edith - I could go on.

He liked old fashioned names, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though it didn’t lend itself to easy compromise.

So, Tee, she remained with test names thrown in sporadically with hopes that a winner would stick, ideally before her 18th Birthday.

Whilst the name vetoing annoyed the hell out of you there wasn’t any real friction. The name discussion never became heated, if a name was vetoed you moved on to the next accepting the decision of the other person.

It was a healthy co-parenting dream.

Despite the pending conversation that loomed over you both, things weren’t awkward - quite simply because you didn’t have the time for it to be!

Mia (Nah) didn’t leave you much time for it.

Whilst she was a dream for sleeping, the time afforded to you both was spent sleeping or preparing the house for her awakening. She was beautiful, but exhausting - a lot like her father.

So it only made sense that when you got your first minute of peace, after a long nap, now in your own bed and fresh pajamas; that the innermost workings of your heart would come to the surface.

To the backing track of Modern Family, you planned and plotted your conversation word for word. Time allowed for dramatic pauses and longing gazes were of course included. When you began planning his lines you realized enough was enough and rose from your bed.

Sure, after looking in the mirror, you’d had better days for your self confidence - ones where you weren’t rocking an adult nappy. But beggars couldn't be choosers and if you let it run in circles anymore you were afraid your brain would just combust.

There was a huge part of you that was excited after all this was years in the making, but then that small, human part of you was screaming at you to temper your expectations.

How often does someone get everything they want? When did your life become a fairy tale?

You didn’t think Benny would flat out turn you down, but what if he couldn’t live up to what had been in your head.

For the first time, in a long time, you decided to ignore your brain - self preservation be damned.

With a turn on your heel in a matching silk pajama set and a goddamn adult nappy you proudly began your descent down the stairs.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for when you rounded the corner.

There on the sofa he lay, utterly shirtless. You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen him like this, in fact you’d actively avoided his fights after you had ‘broken up’ for this very reason because one look at those rippling shoulders would’ve tanked any remaining resolve or feminism left in your body.

It would also be remiss to add that your daughter lay on his chest for what you assume was skin-to-skin time. Somehow, it both melted your heart and stoked a fire within you - having a child was strange. Since when was being a good Father a kink for you?

“Pssst.” You whispered under your breath, trying to get his attention without waking the bean. It took another two tries before he finally looked up confused and then fixed you with that beaming smile.

“Well… good mornin’, Mama.” His voice was deep from lack of use and he looked utterly exhausted yet his smile was as big as ever.

You couldn’t help your own grin at his words as you pressed your attack and kneeled at his side. For a moment your hand stroked at the valley of her spine, before your palm came to rest on his bare shoulder.

How the hell could two people so clueless make something so absolutely perfect?

After a moment or two spent lost in pure adoration you lifted your gaze to Ben. His eyes hadn’t left your face since he became aware of your presence.

You couldn’t help it.

Now was the time for words not for actions that had made this hole you were currently buried in, and yet …

You let yourself get lost in those eyes and pressed your lips against his.

It was soft.

Softer than anything the two of you had ever known.

Neither one of you pushed for more, you simply indulged in the closeness that had been hard won to come so easily. The hand not cradling your daughter to his chest, rose to hug your cheek as you parted.

“Where did that come from?”

“I’ve been meaning to do it since the hospital, but the nap helped me put my ducks in a row, I guess.”

Benny rose into a sitting position, slowly, mindful of the sleeping infant on his chest.

He laid her in the moses basket at the foot of the sofa and pressed the white noise machine. Mozart began playing softly, lulling her into a deeper sleep.

Finally, Benny turned back to you, his eyes serious. “I wasn’t sure if you regretted saying what you did… if it was the heat of the moment… y’know the fear.”

You contemplated for a single moment.

“I meant every word.”

The problem with you and Benn had always been that you both approached your relationship with one foot out the door, whoever cared the least won. It was the way you both protected yourself.

It was only now you were realizing the commitment issues had gone both ways, for a time at least. It was easier if you played with no skin in the game, there was nothing to lose. But now, you had everything to lose and you didn’t want to waste a single moment playing the stupid games you’d wasted so many years of your life devoted to.

“Every word?”

“Every. Single. One. Especially the ones about your lame singing.” You couldn’t help your grin that snuck out as you teased him.

“Lame? I’m sorry it's that gruff, sexy singing that made your ass love me.”

“God. I wish I could take it all back, but I do Benny, I fucking love you.”

All through your back and forth he’d been advancing. It was as if your words prompted him to pounce. His hands were planted on your cheeks, as he gave you a part of himself in an all consuming kiss.

It was like he was trying to explain all his feelings, all the hurt and frustration and love he’d felt in one kiss.

As his tongue brushed yours and his hands trailed the sides of your body to pull you against him, your hands found his shoulders as you attempted to pull him closer, as if that was even possible.

The two of you had been at war for so long, so afraid to give eachother any part of yourself. The air was thick with emotion, your hormones were all over the place as tears began to leak from your eyes.

Relief, joy, love - you couldn’t name one emotion entirely but it was some combination of the three. With your kisses you promised to start anew, to fix what was broken and forget all the hurt you had caused one another.

You were going to do your best for her, for your Joy.

Unable to stop yourself, you grabbed at the waistband of his sweats, finding the warm skin of his toned stomach. That seemed to bring him back to reality as he grabbed your hands and placed his forehead against yours, breathing heavily through his nose in what you assumed was an attempt to gather his self control.

“Angel, you’re gonna start something you can’t finish, by my reckon… for at least 6 weeks.”

“Let me take care of you.” You breathed, dropping your kisses lower to his neck.

“No, baby. We’re doing this right. I’m not gonna cum in your mouth and then leave you to carry on with your day aching in both ways - at least not till you can return the favor in mine.” He kissed your forehead chastely, as if he hadn’t just promised to eat you out the second your pussy was healed.

“Benny.” You whined.

“I don’t care Y/N. We’re doing this right, I’ve fucked this up too many times.”

“I guess 6 weeks isn’t too long… right?”

WRONG.

FOUR WEEKS-ish LATER

No closer to a name. - LIST OF REJECTED NAMES : Charlie, Charlotte, Catherine, Joy, Ruth, Charlotte, Courtney, Jennifer, Rosamund, Rosalie, Rosemary, Roselyn, Rosalind, Rose, Bella.

5 ADULT Diapers.

64 BABY Diapers.

57 Bottles of Formula.

32 Days of Blue balls.

The newest development since the clearing of the air was that Benny had proposed dates.

For the first time since reproducing you got dressed up (in jeans and sweater) and went and got tacos and it was… nice.

It was just like the old days back when you were just friends, only now there was a baby at the table and he’d proudly hold your hand.

Though, it was still Benny. So he constantly teetered on the edge of gentlemanly courtship as he caressed the meat of your thigh as the two of you sat closely in the booth; and you loved it.

You had been on about five PG13 dates since and life was kinda perfect, your daughter was beautiful and whilst picking a name was a struggle, it was coming along.

So it was fitting that your perfect life shattered around you on a random Saturday morning.

“Sure Jaz, I’ll meet you at 11…. Okay, see you soon.” You heard from the man currently cradling your daughter in his arms as he gave her a bottle.

God, you wished you had more faith in your shiny new relationship, that you didn’t immediately jump to anger.

Alas, rage was an old ally and you leapt into his eagerly awaiting arms.

Every single doubt and unfair suspicion raised to your tongue as he turned to face you. He fixed you with an easy smile, clearly none-the wiser about the eye of the storm he was currently wandering into.

“Ben... I’ve gotta’ ask. It's been weighing on me for months… but who the fuck is Jaz?”

He blanched, his eyes looking down to your daughter as if she at 4 weeks old was capable of critical thinking. It clearly wasn’t what he was expecting when it left your mouth. He looked… somewhere between embarrassed and guilty.

It was then your eye caught the bottles that hadn’t been rinsed. They were abandoned on the marble, left to sour. That all but sealed his fate.

Sure, if you weren’t actively plotting his and his secret girlfriend's demise, you may not have overreacted. But in that solitary, ugly moment, that basic lack of regard he held for you and your relationship was encapsulated by his inability to complete the singular god forsaken chore that was his.

The guy didn’t have a chance to respond before you were at the sink filling the washing up bowl with foamy water. The aroma of sour milk as you unscrewed the bottle lids only served to stoke your fires as you all but threw the stinking bottles in the water, splashing yourself with suds as you did.

“Do I have to do everything?!”

“Y/N…”

“Sometimes, Ben…”

“What the fuck - can we just rewind or can you explain what exactly it is you think i’ve done?!” He is incredulous as he places your daughter in her soothing swing chair, his arms now raising in surrender.

“You need me to explain?” You huff, stoney in disbelief at his gall.

“For god sake Y/N… leave them, I’m gonna get to them after this one.”

“Yeah, well. I’ve learnt not to believe you when you say things and do the complete opposite…”

“Do the complete opposite?” You heard clear as day the anger building in his voice. “If you wanna say something, then fucking say it!”

“FINE! I’ll say it! “ You slammed the last bottle in the bowl and turned round, wiping your hands on a tea towel as you fixed your gaze on him. “I thought you were happy taking it slow, I thought you wanted to be with me. But no, Jaz. AGAIN..”

He let out a light laugh, one that held no humor. “Christ sakes, Y/N - Jaz is a client! - I’m a fuckin’ personal trainer!”

“SHE’S- Oh-”

“Yeah - Oh.” His arms were crossed across his chest and his eyes had hardened.

“I - I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“To go from a soldier, to a fighter, to a glorified crossfit instructor … just a little humiliating, Y/N.” His voice was flat and dejected as he spoke.

At that moment, you were utterly ashamed.

“Ben… I am so -”

“Yeah. You’re sorry. But that's the thing, no matter how much I apologize or tell you how I feel about you, it's never enough. Y/N why are we even bothering when you clearly still don’t trust me.”

“Ben, I-”

“No, Y/N. It's not fair. I’ve been a good Dad and to be completely honest I’ve been a pretty stellar boyfriend, and yet all I get from you is fuckin’ accusations!”

You hadn’t seen Benny this angry outside of the of the ring in a long fucking time. Yet you weren’t afraid of him as he came to stand before you, you knew Ben.

“I can’t do this. Not if you’re gonna hold on to every doubt you have about me and whip them out every time I do something to piss you off, I’m not perfect Y/N.”

“I’m trying… Ben it’s not-”

“No. Listen, I told you. I told you how hard this was for me.” He stood before you, his shoulders sagged in defeat as his eyes shone with unshed tears. “I fucking poured my heart out to you, baby. I only want you and if you can’t trust that, then this isn’t going to work out and we need to stop and just be parents, because I’m not gonna live my life like this - instantly guilty for whatever shit your head dreams up for me.”

He picked up his cap from the dining room table and bent down to place a kiss on your sleeping daughter's forehead before he swiped his hair back from his face and placed the cap on top. Your fingers were aching from the grip you had on the counter.

“Well, I'm going to have some adulterous sex with my side piece Jasmine. Then I might swing by Flanagan’s on my way home for a threesome with an old flame. Who knows might make it a goddamn foursome!” Benny strolled out, he didn’t slam a single door. Always conscientious of the baby.

Goddamn you felt like shit.

It was hard to admit that you were wrong.

All joking aside, you weren’t used to it. You never went into battle half cocked, which meant all arguments were mentally vetted before you championed a cause. But no matter how you sliced it, this time you were unequivocally wrong.

You had come at him with such anger. God, you should’ve just calmly asked him who Jasmine was. Why did you automatically assume the worst?

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda - Didn’t do any good now.

Simply put, you had been a dick, to a man who had been nothing short of amazing to you.

It was as you stood frozen leaning against the counter top that you began to realize you’d never fully forgiven Ben for what happened a year ago. The toll that had taken on your self worth and your confidence.

It wasn’t his fault, not really. You had promised yourself when starting this back up you’d forgive everything from the past, but you supposed that was hard when he’d never really apologized.

That was petty, you reasoned.

You knew he was sorry.

The two of you had jumped straight back into dating, deciding to try and have the perfect love without the deep connection which came from talking through the nitty gritty.

How could you be so surprised when it bubbled up in these ugly ways?

Deciding to resolve these difficult thoughts with Benny when or if he returned, eased the ache within yourself a tiny bit.

Placing the baby monitor beside your sleeping daughter you decided to prepare yourself for that conversation.

You made it through one life affirming shower and half of your skincare routine before her wails demanded your presence.

“Mommy’s coming baby.” You spoke through the monitor using it as a walkie talkie. It was hard not to flash back to your service days as you used it. You were half way down the stairs reminiscing on the good ole days when you weren’t a complete asshole, when you heard a male voice whispering to Tee on the monitor.

It was instinctual; you didn’t even think, you just moved, taking the stairs two at a time, stopping only to grab a weapon or, as it is more commonly known as, a broom.

“GET AWAY FROM HER ASSHOLE.” You wielded the broom like a hockey stick ready to swing on the assailant. As you rounded the corner and were stupefied to find Benny there with your daughter, his eyes wide as you entered the room ready to assault him.

“Y/N?!”

“BENNY. OH MY CHRIST. I thought - “ In a single moment you instantly drop the broom and grab your baby from his arms, planting kisses all over her face and head.

“Oh my god, you scared mommy, Tee. Yes you did. My heart, oh fucking christ. I didn’t expect you back.”

“What can I say - I didn't fancy the orgy today.”

“Daddy’s very funny, Sienna.”

“Sienna… Sienna Miller?” Benny narrows his eyes over the top of his Starbucks takeout cup.

“Veto.” You both say in unison despite your argument.

Tee whined in your arms, amping up for a wail.

“She didn’t finish her bottle before she fell asleep earlier.” Ben pointed out to the half empty bottle waiting to be washed up. Your stomach dropped at the mere sight of the cause of your hissy fit earlier.

“Are you hungry, beautiful girl?” You crooned to your baby after a pause. Adjusting the robe you had thrown on after your shower. “I’ll feed her and then we can talk?”

He nodded, his face giving nothing away. It was strange to be stonewalled by Ben. Usually every thought that crossed his mind was mirrored on his face.

Taking a seat in the love chair you’d set up in the lounge for this exact purpose you exposed your breast. You had been doing a half breast half formula feeding pattern so that Ben could pitch in.

She latched on quickly, but never as quickly as she did the bottle. A tiny part of you was disappointed, as you’d always had images of breastfeeding your child. But with a low milk supply you’d had little option but to supplement with bottles, but beyond the bonding aspect you had no qualms with the bottle.

Tee was slowly falling asleep as she drank and after about five minutes she was gone to the world.

Feeling guilty all while, you held her to your chest after rearranging your robe. You should be speaking to Benny about your regrettable words earlier and yet you couldn’t force your legs to move. Telling someone you had been a complete dick wasn’t a fun thing to do.

So it made sense after about ten minutes of hiding that Benny appeared with the moses basket in toe for your sleeping angel.

You nodded thankfully and silently you handed her off to him, making sure that your entire chest was covered.

He placed her in the far corner of the room, far enough away that your voices - if they were kept below a shout - wouldn’t wake her.

He took a seat to your right, there was about a meter between you. It was all so stiff, like a business meeting as you each waited for the other to speak.

“So.” He muttered avoiding eye contact.

“I’ll start. I’m sorry Ben. You didn’t deserve that.” His eyes rose to meet yours. “I want this to work. I meant it, I want to leave it all behind and I thought I could - just forget everything, I mean. But I can’t. I think, well, I think we need to talk about it.”

“Y/N-”

“No, Ben, please. I’ve thought about this for like twenty minutes in the shower.” You left your seat to sit beside him. “I know you don’t like… feelings. I don’t either, it's awkward. But, I need to get through this to get over it, y’know?”

“I think I do.” He nodded. You took his hand in yours.

“I’m not making excuses, I’m sorry I lost my shit this morning. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. When I heard her name, I was right back there. Pregnant and alone and just completely unsure about everything; in love with a guy who I didn’t think felt the same. It was terrifying … And I’ve never told you that. It messed with my head everything that happened last year.”

“Right back where?... When you heard her name?”

“At the baby shower.”

“Oh Y/N, you should've asked!”

“Why? We weren’t together.”

“I started as a PT about a month after Christmas. After I found out and the hospital - It's a hell of a lot safer and the pay’s more steady. I’m still training with Will but the fights are gonna’ be … fewer. I wanna be around.” His hand clutched in yours tightened his thumb on your fingers forcing you to look up.

“You’re such a good Dad. I’m so sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t” Your hand rose to his face.

“I am so sorry. I haven’t said it have I? But I am. That night you told me you wanted more and I shut you down, I broke your heart. I don’t want anyone else, only you. I need you to hear me.”

“I do Ben, I do.”

“No, Y/N. I want you to be my wife, I want you to have more of my babies. You’re the only one for me, I think of you when I wake up, before I go to sleep - there hasn’t been a day in the past ten years I haven’t thought about you. I will never hurt you like that again, I fucking promise you.”

Tears sprung to your eyes as your heart began to heal, it felt so full as you sat beside him basking in his words.

“I fucking love you Benny.” You grabbed his cheeks pulling him into a kiss. It started off lighter before it began to deepen.

Teasingly you flicked your tongue against his gaining access, biting his lip you pulled yourself onto his lap to get a better angle on your exploration of his mouth. Through his jeans you felt him begin to swell as he pressed against the linen of your robe.

It had only been three weeks, but you were desperate for him to be inside you. Compromise was the name of the game.

He pulled away from your mouth, which you were fine with, you knew the words about to leave his lips. Which is why you decided to be persuasive as you trailed kisses down his neck.

“Baby, no, you’ve only just had a baby, c’mon.”

Smothering kisses against his warm skin, he smelled deliciously of the Calvin Klein aftershave he always spritzed on before leaving the house. You moved your hips against his, which prompted him to grab them. His large hands splayed across your ass, holding you still as he attempted to maintain some semblance of self control.

“You can’t go inside, but we can still have fun.” You whispered into his neck. “Besides, you’re the injured party, I have an apology to make.”

“Well…” He moaned as you playfully bit at his warm flesh “You were mean as hell, baby.”

With Benjamin's help you shrugged the linen dressing gown from your shoulders. Instantly you were completely exposed before him. His eyes zeroed in on your swollen breasts, sure he’d seen them in passing but never so freely exposed and at eye level.

Hands gentle as always rose to cup them. Those gorgeous fingers skirted around your nipples making your hips rut down against his hardened member.

“Sensitive.” You explained before he placed kisses on them. He kissed along the underside of your breast before lathering his tongue around your nipples. His gaze lowered and his palms skirted along your sides before they landed on your ass.

You couldn’t help your self consciousness, the last time this man had seen you naked you’d been a size Y/S. Now you had some fresh stretch marks and a stomach still swollen from your child.

However, all your self consciousness went out the window the second he squeezed at the meat there and pulled you down against his jeans, his hips thrusted up in time, almost unintentionally.

The fabric was causing some delicious friction against your clit, yet you wanted more.

“Is this okay, you’re not in pain?” He asked resting his forehead against yours.

You kissed his lips as you held onto his jaw.

“No. I want more.”

“You can’t have more, your sweet pussy needs more time before I ruin it.” He smirked before claiming your mouth with his tongue, putting all his filthy promises behind it.

“No, but you can.” You leaned backwards and began to undo his zipper. His hands came up to stop you before he remembered your words from earlier.

Finally, you set him free. He was bigger than you remembered, straining up against Ben’s belly. You couldn't resist as you rubbed your bare heat against him. You were sopping as his cock came away wet.

Benny groaned, one hand squeezing the meat of your ass and the other staying firmly on your hip, just in case you tried something. You grabbed his chin, joining your mouths in a deep kiss, once more you dropped your hips, your clit bumping against the head of his cock in the most delicious way before you slid along his shaft.

Once again he groaned, this time into your mouth which you greedily swallowed up. Playfully you bit at his lip, touching your tongue once more to his just to give him a preview of how talented it could be.

He began to help you as he pushed his jeans further down his thighs frantically as you moved off of his lap and fell onto your knees between his legs.

Your mouth watered as you stared at his pulsing cock, now covered in your own wetness. You couldn’t help a smirk as his head dropped back on the couch as he tried to give you space to work.

Slowly, playfully almost, you stroked his length and you couldn't help a small smirk as his hips thrusted into your palm. Right where you wanted him, he was fighting a losing battle of control.

With no warning you leaned down and swiped your quick tongue along the head of his cock. If the groans had added to the flood below the belt, the broken call of your name had you practically gushing.

Leaning forward to get a better vantage, you sneakily pressed your heel into your clit. It alleviated some of the pressure but nowhere near enough.

All at once you took his length into your mouth, his cry was absolutely gorgeous as he grabbed at his own thigh.

Your tongue lathered the veins that hid on the underside of his cock. It was wet and messy and he was quickly falling apart in your mouth.

He was fighting the urge to fuck your mouth as he gripped at his thighs in solidarity, you wanted him to bruise the back of your throat with his thrusts.

You reached up and grabbed his hand, currently grabbing at his thigh and placed it into your hair. It was an open invitation, to let himself go. To stop being so polite and sorry, to go back to fucking you the way he used to.

It was an invited he RSVP’ed immediately. His hands immediately began guiding your face up and down his cock, pushing your face down so that the head of his dick nudged the back of your throat.

Your gag constricted around his cock which made his head roll back in pleasure. His hand loosened its hold on your hair, almost asking permission.

With a roll off your eyes you dropped your head harder than he had, his cock was practically in your esophagus, but it showed him you could take it.

“Yes, baby. Fuck - you suck cock so good.”

Unable to help it you grinded against your heel, desperate for the sweet relief of his touch, but unable to receive it.

You noticed the pressure building as his stomach began taut as he continued fucking your face.

Taking back control, your hands found his balls and rolled them between your fingers caused him to groan as that pressure increased.

“Fuck baby, I’m gonna-” His cry was all you needed as you as you took his entire length in your mouth. You fought the urge to gag as you reminded yourself to breathe through your nose. His come spurted hotly down your throat as you swallowed every damn drop of it.

@sixshooter665 @queenie-b- @rambling-in-purple @anaaaispunk

@miraclesabound @kravitzwhorehore @ahsokathearcher @xoxabs88xox @heresathreebee @psychadelichues @marauderskeeper @tanzthompsonn @mermaidxatxheart

#benny miller fic #benny miller smut #benny miller x reader #triple froniter #triple frontier fanfiction #benjamin miller #benny miller #benny miller x you

103 notes · View notes

erin-bo-berin · 2 years

Note

i saw an anon ask about a second part to ‘sorry’ and i’m dying cause that sound so good,, like i can imagine steve kind of tearing up,, especially if it’s a little girl- like imagine stevie realizing what an ass he was sometime back,, but you had left maybe?? then one fine day he sees you and yours and his baby and his mind goes like skkrt,, because there you are the love of his life, the one person he loved more than anything in this entire world and the one person he hurt so much?? and his beautiful kid and gaaahh it kills me to think of this angst being angsty and fluffy- maybe he starts crying just a little and the baby’s name is something that signifies reader and his relationship like constellations they used to watch or flowers he used to get her,, my brain turned to mush i’m so sorry <3

also can i please be this anon 🪐 || if it’s not already taken? <3

Yes you can absolutely be that anon! 🥰

Also I’m imagining it like roughly 16 months later (so adding up if reader was 2 months by the time she told Steve and then the jump of almost a year and a half, baby girl Harrington is going to be 9 months old) I just want baby cuteness and angst and all with Steve 🥺

Mistakes

Steve Harrington x Reader

Part 2 to Sorry

Part 3: Growth

Part 4: Love

“Holy. Shit.”

Steve couldn’t have said it better himself.

When Robin had uttered the two words, he’d turned from where he was leaning against the counter, talking to her during a particular slow period at Family Video.

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Or to put it better, who he was seeing.

You were like a mirage. A fantasy come to life.

A ghost of his past, if you will.

He hadn’t seen you since that day in the diner. The day he made the biggest mistake of his life.

Begrudgingly, he had to admit it took him longer than it should’ve to realize he made a horrific mistake. He’d ignored the pit in his stomach that day he left you at the diner, that feeling of wrongness settling in his chest. After all, he was doing it for you. He was trying to be the bigger person.

The only thing that accomplished was making him the biggest asshole of the year.

Probably of the century.

It had taken weeks of his friends knocking some sense into him before he finally accepted that he needed to make things right. During that time, he finally opened up to his friends, revealing all his insecurities, his doubts and his fears—all stemming from shitty parents and one relationship gone horribly wrong before he’d even met you. He’d realized he’d projected all this on you, fearing that you weren’t in it for the long haul, afraid that you’d leave him if things got too tough.

He should’ve known that wasn’t true with how hard you’d fought for your relationship after that final break up.

But he had learned by opening up to his friends that that was something he needed to become comfortable doing with you. You deserved to be let into his mind, see all the not so attractive parts of him. It had terrified him before, but knowing you wanted to hear to help him, to be there for him made it a lot less scary.

When he’d gone to find you though, to beg you for forgiveness, you’d already been gone. Your roommate—who you didn’t particularly care for, which is why you’d basically lived at his place during your relationship—had told him you’d moved home with your parents, who lived an entire state away.

From that day on, he never stopped beating himself up internally. The guilt actually ate him alive.

What kind of man was he?

He’d left you, pregnant and alone.

Now, here you stood, nearly a year and a half later, near the entrance of Family Video.

Right in front of him was the woman he loved with every fiber of his being. You owned every part of him, but most importantly, his heart.

And in your arms, nestled on your hip was a baby girl.

A baby girl that bore a striking resemblance to him.

“Hi, Steve,” you whispered.

He honestly couldn’t find the words as he gaped at you. His braid had short-circuited at seeing you. His heart pounding with nerves and just because of you. It probably wasn’t the most manly thing to admit, but you made his heart flip like it was doing summersaults, gave him butterflies in his stomach.

Rendered him speechless too, apparently.

You looked even more beautiful than he remembered. He halfway wondered just what you’d looked like pregnant, if you glowed from within like everyone claimed pregnant women do.

Even from the distance of half a room, he could see you looked tired, but it didn’t take away from your beauty. There may have been circles under your eyes, but your eyes were still as pretty, always a hint of mischief in them. Even if now they looked a little wary, he saw the strength in them too.

Your teeth was sunk into your lower lip—something you tended to do unwittingly when you were nervous. He remembered well how they felt pressed against his and suddenly there was an ache in his chest, a deep need to to kiss you.

You were in casual lounge clothes, loose pants and a t-shirt, but it might as well been the fanciest dress because you looked amazing in his eyes.

It was when his eyes landed on the baby girl, that he truly felt the breath leave his lungs. She was as beautiful as her mother, with rosy cheeks and a carefree demeanor.

But she looked just like him.

She had his dark hair, his eyes, he didn’t even know how to explain other than she practically had his whole face.

A hard elbow to the ribs had him snapping out of his trance and grimacing at the same time. Who knew Robin’s elbow hurt so much?

“Hi,” he breathed, reverent, almost as if he spoke too loud you’d just drift away like dust on the wind, nothing but a pure figment of his imagination.

“I’m going to take my break,” Robin announced, officially breaking his spell.

“Just holler if you need me,” she said to him, before heading towards the back.

You walked closer to the counter, the baby in your arms babbling, chewing on the toy in her hands. She was taken in by the bright colors and lights everywhere and her eyes looked everywhere, her tiny mind taking it all in.

“I thought you moved back in with your parents,” Steve said, fidgeting with a pen that was laying nearby.

He forced himself to put it down and still his hands.

“I did. But I decided it was time to come back to Hawkins,” you said, shoulders straight, sure of yourself.

“After all,” you continued, “I thought you might want to meet your daughter.”

His daughter.

The words about brought him to his knees. Not from fear like they’d had that day so long ago, but just from pure enchantment. A part of him was in this little girl. This little girl who he’d help create.

She was perfect.

“She’s beautiful,” he smiled, watching her.

“Yeah, I think so too,” you smiled, trying to get her to turn to look at him.

“She looks so much like me.”

The awe in his voice was apparent, but he couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, I carried her for nine months only for her to come out looking just like you,” she teased lightly.

He chuckled, the lighthearted remark easing some of the tension and awkwardness between you two.

“Well there’s definitely no question that she’s mine, that’s for sure,” he said with a wry grin.

He was afraid you’d be insulted by his retort as he had asked when you’d told him you were pregnant, if the baby was his. But you just smiled at him and his heart soared, getting way ahead of all logical thought.

“Um,” he swallowed nervously, “How old is she?”

“Just turned nine months.”

You tapped on her tummy, tickling slightly, trying to get her to look at him.

“Can you say hi, Scarlett?”

“Her name is Scarlett?” he asked, smiling at her when she finally looked at him.

“Scarlett Rose.”

Again, his breath left him entirely as his gaze shot to yours. He found the confirmation there in your gaze, but he still had to ask.

“Scarlett Rose as in…”

He didn’t finish his thought, but you finished it for him.

“The red roses you’d send me for every anniversary, birthday and Christmas? Yeah, just like that.”

It was a small gesture he’d done early on in your relationship that had continued throughout it. That had been just a small physical thing, although proof of his love for you. But now, named after those romantic gestures was an actual product of yours and his love.

“I love it,” he smiled, “It’s perfect.”

You noticed him watching her and you couldn’t help but smile at how amazed he was by her.

“Would you like to hold her?”

He nodded emphatically.

“I’d love to.”

You handed Scarlett to him and he took her, a little awkwardly at first, but soon she settled into his arms, tiny hands busy playing with the name badge on his employee vest.

“Hi Scarlett,” his voice sounded hoarse, his throat clogged with emotion that he was trying to keep at bay, “I’m your daddy.”

She was still focused on the name tag, babbling away and his eyes actually teared up as he rubbed a hand over her back, kissing her head. He looked up at you and saw you watching them, a slight smile on her face.

“Y/N, I—”

You held up a hand.

“You don’t have to say anything. I know you didn’t want to be part of her life. But I didn’t want to keep her from you. I just thought you should meet her.”

There was so much he needed to say, that he wanted to say. Of course, the most random, most idiotic thing was what chose to fly out of his mouth.

“Is there another daddy in her life?”

He wanted to hit himself. Of all things, he had to say that?

Your brows creased and he rushed ahead to explain himself before he could piss you off.

“I just mean I told you that day to find another father for her and I know I gave you permission to but I really regret that now because I don’t want any other guy being a father to her and you have every right if you wanted to da-”

“No.”

Your simple response cut off his incoherent babbling.

“No?”

“Believe it or not Steve, but I wasn’t interested in dating. I just wanted to focus on my-” you paused, realizing your mistake, “Our little girl.”

Scarlett was trying to pull the fabric of his Family Video vest into her mouth and he stopped her.

“No, no, honey. That’s not to chew on.”

“Here, give her this.”

You reached in your bag, pulling out a teething ring toy, handing it to Steve. His fingers brushed yours when he took it and you felt the metaphorical spark as his touch, your eyes flying up to his. He watched you with such intensity, you could feel your heart flipping like a dolphin in your chest.

“She’s teething pretty badly right now,” you said, trying to pull yourself together.

“Here you go, sweetheart,” he murmured softly to Scarlett, placing it in her hands and watching as she brought it to her mouth to chew on.

You watched, father and daughter finally having met, the hole in your heart that he’d left behind slowly, millimeter by millimeter, begin to heal.

“Y/N,” he looked back towards you, “I’m so sorry for what I did.”

You nodded.

“Apology accepted.”

“I’m not even through apologizing,” he laughed, although you could hear the pain behind it, “I never should’ve left you or Scarlett. I was scared. I was a jackass and a coward. Call me whatever you want, I deserve it.”

“I’m not going to call you anything, Steve.”

“Still, I deserve to be called everything in the book,” he sighed, looking as worn and broken as you felt, “I actually went to find you. A month after that night.”

“A little late by then, don’t you think?”

He winced at your comment.

“That’s fair. But yeah, I found out you’d moved home. So I want to tell you now what I wanted to tell you then.”

You stopped him.

“I appreciate it, Steve. But you don’t have to. I didn’t come here for us, I can here so you could meet your daughter,” you said, “I wanted to let you know that you can see her, spend time with her, whatever, anytime you want. As far as I’m concerned, we’re just co-parents.”

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a stab of pain at that last statement.

“But, I wanted to make it right, Y/N and apologize.”

“Like I said, the apology is accepted. But you’re not forgiven. You broke my heart, Steve. We’re broken. If you think I came to fall back into your arms after you left me in a pile of shattered pieces, then you’re sorely mistaken.”

He sighed, the weight of the world feeling like it was crushing his chest at your words. But really, could he blame you? He wouldn’t trust him either.

Scarlett babbled to him and he smiled at her, albeit he felt like doing anything but smiling. Crying, screaming, begging, punching a wall, maybe.

But he had no one to blame but himself.

“Do you mind watching her real quick? I really have to hit the bathroom,” you said.

“No, we’re fine. Go ahead. It’s down the hall to the right.”

Scarlett saw her mommy leaving the room and started to fuss.

“It’s okay baby, mommy will be right back,” she promised.

“Ma ma,” Scarlett whined, pathetically.

He knew exactly how she felt.

“Hey, want to see some really cool lights?” he asked her, jostling her gently in his arms, walking to the big Family Video sign.

It was a neon red orange that glowed brightly and he thought it would distract her long enough to keep her from crying. She babbled, reaching out towards it, her tiny face illuminated by the neon light.

“I could tell you lots of stories about mommy,” he spoke softly to her.

Scarlett looked up at him as if intrigued by the sound of his voice.

“Most importantly though, I can tell you that I made the biggest mistake ever when I let her go.”

#steve harrington #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fic #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things blurb #stranger things fic #stranger things angst

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gyupremacy · 9 months

Text

Kiss It Better | csc.

↳ Pairing: choi seungcheol x fem!reader

↳ Genre: fluff, angst

↳ Au(s): exes to lovers, non-idol!au

↳ Rating: PG-15

↳ Word Count: 2.1k

↳ Warning(s): alcohol consumption, cursing (only one word, but just a heads up)

↳ Summary: After four years, you never thought you'd hear the name "Choi Seungcheol" again, let alone see the man until one fateful night at a house party.

↳ a/n: It's been a while! Two full months, and I've finally written! Writer's block sucks, but I hope to slowly but surely get back into the swing of things, but more importantly, take my time when it comes to writing. I want to thank @playmetheclassics for making this great banner and @hobeemin for giving me feedback.

@junniieesbby I didn't forget you either! Hope you like it 😊

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

"Come on, Y/N! They're doing body shots in the kitchen," your best friend Gyuri called out to you.

"As riveting as that sounds, I think I'll just stick around over here," you responded.

It was the big summer house party her boyfriend Mingyu was hosting. He was very charismatic, and anyone with eyes could see he was an attractive guy.

You introduced the two a few years ago, and they've been going strong ever since. The couple, affectionately called "2Gyu" by close friends, had been anticipating the party for weeks.

As much as you were enjoying yourself, you'd admit you felt a bit out of place. With all the couples making out or going upstairs to do who knows what was making you feel disconnected from reality.

"You sure? There's some very single guys in there you could hang out with," Gyuri winked.

Subtly was not in her vocabulary. It was known you haven't been in a relationship since you broke up with your ex-boyfriend Seungcheol four years ago.

To put it simply, it was between you and a job offer in Japan, and he chose Japan. You supported his decision at the offer of a lifetime, but the lack of communication on the matter put a strain on your relationship.

You've moved on… At least, that's what you try to tell yourself, but the wounds were still fresh.

"I'm not in much of a hanging out with guys mood, Gyu," you explained, taking a sip from the familiar red cup in your hand.

"Well, whenever you feel ready to hang out minus the guys, you know where to find me," Gyuri said, giving you a reassuring shoulder rub before taking off.

You shrugged off the notion. She meant well, but that didn't encourage you to want to mingle with others.

By the looks of it, everyone else had either left the party or passed out on the couches. There was one guy who came from the kitchen and was standing near the bathroom.

He glanced at you here and there, but nothing too out of the ordinary. The unnamed man moved from his spot and walked towards you.

"Hey! Are you friends with the host?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm actually best friends with his girlfriend," you said.

"Gyuri? I don't think I've actually met her," he explained.

"How did you get an invite then?" You laughed.

"Through a mutual friend."

You nodded, looking around the room. There were guests dancing and just hanging out now. It was getting late, so it made sense that people began to unwind.

The guy next to you broke the small silence between you two by introducing himself.

"I'm Matthew, by the way," he smiled.

"Y/N," you greeted.

"Cool name! Are you having a fun time?" Matthew asked.

"Honestly, Matthew, I'm a bit bummed out. It's been a while since I've been at a big gathering like this," you began.

"It reminds me of an ex."

Matthew nodded his head, taking in your words as you spoke.

"It's been so long since the breakup, but certain things reminded you of him," you responded, thinking about your memories with Seungcheol.

For one, he loved big parties like this. You guys first met at a pool party hosted by an old high school friend when he walked up and asked where the swan floatie was.

The conversation flowed easily, and it felt like you both had known each other for so long. After becoming good friends, Seungcheol asked you out on a date to a carnival.

He had eaten so much cotton candy and corn dogs that he could barely make it to the car on the way out. After the late night drive, he walked you back to your apartment and kissed you goodnight.

You droned on, almost forgetting that Matthew was in front of you saying something.

"Y/N, if it means anything, I just got out of a long-term relationship myself, and it's tough. Sometimes I feel like I did something wrong," he said.

"I know I shouldn't still be hung up over it since it was four years ago, but so much was left unsaid," you replied, considering the last conversation you had together.

"It's valid that you still feel emotions about the breakup. That's something you never truly get over," Matthew said.

"It takes time."

You nodded, taking in the way he was looking at you.

"Thank you for the advice," you said.

"No problem! You're a cool girl to talk to," Matthew smiled, looking towards the ground.

You bit your lip, trying to contain the butterflies in your stomach. He ran his fingers through his hair, giggling at your awed expression.

"Thanks! I was thinking maybe we -" You were interrupted by the sound of your voice being called.

"Y/N?"

You didn't think anything of it until the voice got closer and it registered who it had belonged to.

"Y/N, is that you?"

You turned around and saw Seungcheol with a smile on his face. The kind of smile that was a mix of shock, excitement, and disbelief.

"Hi," you said indifferently.

"It's been so long!" Seungcheol quipped.

"Yeah, it's been a while," you replied, fidgeting with your hands.

Sensing the awkward situation, Seungcheol takes a look at Matthew with a confused look on his face.

"So, who's your friend?" He questioned.

"I'm Matthew. Y/N and I were just talking about how she was having a hard time getting over her ex," the two men were subtly sizing each other up.

"Oh, how rude of me," Seunghceol began, and you knew it was not going to end well.

"I'm Seungcheol or the ex if you will."

The sarcastic remark earned a small groan from you and a glare from the other man next to you.

"Hey Matthew? Could you get me another drink?" You asked, hoping that the awkward exchange wouldn't continue.

"Sure! I'll be back in a minute," he nodded, walking towards the kitchen.

Seungcheol was glaring back at him as he left.

"Cheol, what the fuck was that back there?" You whispered, folding your arms as you stared at him.

"I got weird vibes from that dude. I mean… just the way he was looking at you. I don't trust him," Seungcheol trailed off, but knowing him, you knew there was more to the story.

"You don't know him," you laughed aloud.

"The only thing you don't like about him is that he was talking to me."

The man just stood there avoiding your gaze, letting you know that what you said was the truth.

"You don't hold back, Y/N. Just like old times," Seungcheol blushed, giving you a look that you couldn't pinpoint.

"Just like old times, huh?" You uttered quietly.

At first, you were not expecting Seungcheol to be here tonight, let alone to be having a conversation with him like you were still together.

Gyuri had made her long-awaited return to her party, making the rounds to party goers before stopping in her tracks to see you with your ex.

"What is he doing here?" She mouthed, not wanting to draw his attention.

"Mingyu," you mouthed in unison with a knowing look.

She gestured at Seungcheol before signaling at the door, indicating if you wanted him to leave. You shook your head, letting her know everything was okay.

Walking back to the kitchen, you began to wonder what happened to Matthew but were left with fleeting thoughts as Seungcheol had captured your attention.

"It's getting pretty hectic. Do you want to get out of here?" He asked.

"Sure, let's go upstairs!" Taking him by the hand, you led him towards your mutual friends' guest bedroom, closing the door behind you.

You both sat near the foot of the bed wondering what the other was thinking. Seungcheol cleared his throat before I spoke.

"As much as I love a 2Gyu party, sometimes it's better to just have one-on-one time with someone," he mused.

The look in his eyes was adoring. The same one you were on the receiving end of years ago.

"Yeah, it was time to get away," you began.

"I think I saw someone fall asleep while dancing."

Seungcheol's infectious laughter made your heart flutter a bit. Despite the lost time, you didn't miss a beat, gradually falling back into a sense of familiarity with him.

"Everyone's going to have a rough morning, that's for sure!" Seungcheol jokes, watching you break out in laughter.

Whenever you laughed, your nose would scrunch up as you smiled, which he used to say was the cutest thing about you. You were a little shy about it, but it grew to be one of your favorite things about yourself.

"I missed making you smile," Seungcheol confessed, a look of longing in his eyes.

"I missed you."

As the words fell from your lips, you were experiencing the internal conflict of wanting him back in your life and wanting to guard your heart from reliving the breakup.

"I missed you too, Y/N. Thinking back, I wish things could have ended differently," he whispered.

His voice wavered a bit, and you could sense the feeling of regret in it. Tears started to form in his eyes, and he began to sob lightly.

"I lost the love of my life because I didn't take your feelings into consideration. Even though we were miles apart, somewhere in the back of my mind, I hoped we'd meet again."

The emotions came over you, and your eyes started watering from his words.

"Cheol, I-I missed you too," you whimpered.

"When I saw you tonight, I was angry. I was still hurt by feeling like I was someone's second choice. My pride didn't want me to admit that."

You took a deep breath to regain your composure. Seungcheol looked down at his hands until his eyes met yours again, bringing his hand to give you a comforting graze on your back. A small "Is this okay?" from him reminded you of how caring he was and why you fell in love with him the first time.

"Seeing you again after these years felt like fate to me in a strange way. It may be cliche, but love is patient, and somehow, part of me was holding out for you," Seungcheol placed his hands on top of yours and continued.

“I would love to come back to you again and again. Despite everything that happened, I loved you then, and I love you now.”

The pure dedication and devotion in his voice lamented how the time spent apart allowed him to reflect upon decisions made towards the end of your relationship. He wanted a chance to love you again and love you right.

"I love you too, Seungcheol. To think about it, I never stopped loving you either," you squeezed his hand, a faint smile appearing on your face.

The biggest smile crept onto his face. He brought his hand up to your cheek, grazing his thumb along it.

"I was hoping you would say that," Seungcheol beamed.

His eyes managed to glow under the rather intense yellow light in your friends' guest bedroom. He looked at your lips, quickly glancing back at you for silent permission to lean in closer. Instinct took over as you leaned in and kissed him.

The kiss was passionate, almost like a spark that was setting off something new, which in a poetic way was. It felt like you were kissing him for the first time all over again, except this one lingered on for a bit until you both let up.

"Y/N, I love you, and I really meant it when I said I wanted to get back together," Seungcheol began.

"I'll understand if you don't want to start anything immediately, but whether it begins with that kiss or not, I'd be happy to have you in my life in any capacity."

"I would like to see where this goes, Cheol. I think we have to make up for lost time. How about we get coffee sometime?" You asked, hopeful of what's to come.

"I would love to!" Seungcheol quipped.

You looked at the time and realized it was after midnight, and you both went downstairs to say your goodbyes to Mingyu and Gyuri before going outside to your car.

"Tonight was… unforgettable, to say the least," you joked.

"It really was, but I'm glad that we got to spend time with each other. Goodbye, Y/N!" Seungcheol beamed.

"Goodbye, Seungcheol!"

You reached out to hug him and went to unlock your car as you watched him go further into the distance. A smile appeared before you started up the engine and drove off.

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#wkcnet #kvanity #choi seungcheol fluff #choi seungcheol angst #s coups fluff #s coups angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen angst #gyupremacy

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doudouneverte · 1 year

Text

Drama Red

a/n: okay it's my first songfic, honestly it was cool and I plan to do a second but it's really hard to translate lyrics and try to keep some sense so sorry...

*not my GIF*

Natasha Romanoff x Female!Reader

Summary: Natasha has only one question to ask you but before she thought about your life with her.

Type: Fluff

Warning: me being really bad for a first time like always

word count: 3298

Here is a link to the orignal song if you want (warning it's a french song)

--------

Natasha was sitting on your bed; she was looking at you while you finished your make-up. Today was Yelena's birthday, and Melina decided to do something special (just a party with the people she knows). A song was playing in the background, and she let herself get lost in her mind when she listened to the lyrics.

To find the love now, it's the grail.

A little bit of drama red on your lips

"Hey Nat, did you hear me?" You asked, and she came out of her trance just to look at you.

"Excuse me. What did you say?" She asked shyly, and you smiled at her.

"Do you think this lipstick is good?" you asked again, and she nodded. Nat brought you this just two days prior because it reminded her of you. "Are you sure because I don't want to look bad in front of your mom?"

"Oh come on, you know she loves you, maybe even more than me." She joked, and you kissed her before grabbing your purse and your present for her sister and leaving the house.

In the car, Natasha was playing the same song, and while you drove, she was focused on two things: you and how this song reminded her of you two.

We're not obligated to be enamoured to love each other.

The wedding is to please the motha.

But I'll even ask you if you want to marry me

Your relationship was not always so beautiful. When you met her, it was when Fury asked you to team up with her and Clint a few months after she joined the SHIELD. Even if the idea of pairing you with another young, talented agent was rather good to him, you and Natasha didn't match at first. She didn't want to make new friends, and you weren't strong enough to deal with her stubbornness.

It was like that until one mission. This mission was simple: infiltrate a base, steal some information, and come back to the headquarters. See? Pretty simple. But something happened, and you had to fight—just you two against an army of dangerous men, all armed and ready to kill you.

"Oh, super plan Y/n; now I hope you're ready to die." the Russian said, and you rolled your eyes.

"How should I've known there were so many guys?" you asked, and she felt more angrier.

"Maybe because we're in enmity territorial, тупица (dumbass)." the redhead replied, visibly angry.

"Oh, don't use the Russian card with me, Romanova."

"Don't call me like that."

"And don't call me dumbass."

"You understood?"

"Oh, come on, I'm an agent; I need to speak a lot of languages." you replied, and suddenly you noticed something. "Do you hear this?" you asked, and she looked confused.

"I don't hear anything," she replied.

"That's the point." you said and stood up from your hiding spot to look around "Where are they?" you asked to no one in particular.

"Y/n!" Natasha called you, and you immediately looked at her. "Look." she instructed, and you followed her finger to find a timer.

"What's sons of the b*tches. They had a bomb." you said quitely, and Natasha giggled. It was definitely not the reaction she expected. "Okay, I'll call Fury. And you, try to find a way to escape." you said.

"You're not the boss of me." she replied, and you groaned.

"It's really not the time for this Romanoff!" you yelled, and she flinched a little. "Sorry, but you need to hurry." you said, and she left. You took a moment to regroup and reorganize your mind. "Fury, we have a problem." you said through the communications.

"What is this agent Y/l/n?" he asked.

"There is a bomb, in front of me, ready to explode. I think I can stop it, but if I don't, I need you to come and bring back agent Romanoff." you announced and thought for a moment.

"I can send a group of men there, but agent Y/l/n, do me a favor." he said

"What?"

"Don't force me to inform your family that you didn't make it."

"Oh, come on, Fury, we both know you'll not have to do it." you replied, and he chuckled.

"Oh, so how much time?" he asked.

"Three minutes." you replied.

"It will be close, but they should be there in time. Good luck, Y/n." he said and ended the call.

Outside of the base, Natasha was anxious; she heard your conversation with Fury, and she couldn't stop thinking that maybe she should have stayed.

She wanted to come back for you when she heard the quinjet and an agent come out, and before he could say anything, the floor where she let you; explode. The two agents were both shocked, but fortunately for Fury, you found a way out of the chaos.

"What was that?" the agent said, and you didn't reply first to catch your breath.

"I didn't find a way to stop the bomb, so I did the most obvious thing." you said, and they both looked at you, expecting something more. "I made it explode a little earlier." you explained, and Natasha slammed your shoulder.

"You could have died." she said, and you could hear worry in her voice for the first time since you met her.

"You're welcome, agent Romanoff." You joked, and the agent rolled his eyes.

"Fury will not be happy." he said, and you made a weird face but didn't say anything. When you were back in the HQ, you couldn't stop yourself from tease Natasha, and to your own surprise, you earned the right to call her Natasha.

The time repair but look around us how the people are drifting apart

I have to change of my watch, to change of world

Look around us how the people are wrong

At her parent's house, you quickly made your way to the kitchen, where the star of the day was with her mom. "Happy Birthday, sister-in-law!" You greeted her, and she rolled her eyes. She really liked it when you called her that; she liked you, and honestly, you should already be her sister-in-law since a while if her sister was not so….Nat.

After you hugged the blonde, you walked immediately to Melina, who opened her arms wide for you. "How was the drive?" she asked.

"Pretty tiring, but we're finally here. You really should start to think about moving near us." you said, and she laughed

"Okay, I'll think about it for the next time, but right now, I think someone wants to see you." She pointed to the living room where Wanda was.You let out a little sigh and made your way into the room while Natasha stayed behind with the two women.

"Hey Wands, why this long face again?" You asked, sitting beside her, and she sighed.

"It's Vision," she confessed, and you rolled your eyes.

"Again?" you asked dramatically, and she let out a little chuckle. "What did he do this time?"

"Nothing." she replied, and you frowned your eyebrows.

"And where is the problem?" you asked, completely confused.

"I mean, maybe I was too harsh with him. Perhaps I should let him explain before I decide to end this." she said, and you nodded.

Vision and her recently broke up, and being the good friend you are, you tried your best to help her not regret what she did, but apparently it didn't work.

"You want to give him a second chance?" you asked, and even if you were furious with the fact that he made her cry, if she wanted to forgive him, who were you to say no?

I need rational love; I need to learn how to trust the human race.

I need to be sure that I am the problem.

I need to be sure that you are the cure.

"So?" Yelena asked, and her sister looked at her confused. "How's going with you and Y/n?"

"What do you mean?" The Natasha replied.

"Did you propose to her or not?" Melina said, and her eldest daughter sighed.

"Oh, come on, we already talked about it. I don't know if we're ready?"

"What do you mean? You're dating since five years now. I think you're ready." Yelena said, and her mom nodded to agree.

"Okay. But maybe I'm not ready." The redhead announced.

"You fought aliens together, and you think you're not ready?" The blonde asked, but her sister didn't have time to reply before Thor came to greet the young widow. The redhead used this distraction to leave this conversation.

I talk to her about me; she talks about us, 'bout us, 'bout us.

She's in love with the love, the love, the love, but...

Natasha made her way to the living room where you were, and she heard you talk with Wanda and Kate, who joined you a few seconds prior.

"Wait, a cat?" The archer said, and you nodded.

"Yeah, Natasha said she wants a cat. So I thought we could adopt one together, but for now she doesn't know, so don't ruin my surprise." You warned Kate, and she nodded quietly.

To find the love now, it's the grail.

A little drama red on your lips

Natasha didn't make her presence known for a moment. She just stayed here and looked at you while you talked and laughed with Kate and Wanda. Unfortunately for her, Melina came and stayed beside her.

We're not obligated to be enamoured to love each other.

The wedding is to please the motha.

"I know it looks like I want to control your life, but I think you really need to ask her." Melina said, and Natasha looked at her.

"What do you—" "Hey Nat, come here." The young archer exclaimed, and your girlfriend took a last look at her mom before she came and sat beside you.

The wedding is to please the motha.

But I'll even ask you if you want to marry me

When she sat, you placed your hand on her tight and she placed her hand in yours. She really wanted it, but she had to wait for the right moment. At least that's what she said to herself.

On all the streets of the city, we wandered.

Even if we don't marry, we will be happy.

You know I'm not the type to be engaged.

You know I'm more the type to be bored.

Natasha was playing with your hand while you were talking, and she unconsciously focused her gaze on your fingers. She couldn't help but think about this day one week ago, when you were doing shopping. You spotted a jewelry shop, and you stopped in front of the window to look at the necklace and the earrings. Your girlfriend stopped next to you, and her gaze fell on a beautiful ring. 'It'll look good on you' she thought, and before she could make this comment aloud, you dragged her to another bookstore for the third time this afternoon.

The Russian looked at you in the store; you were trying to find a new book for her, and she started to think about her life before you started dating. She didn't imagine herself in a relationship for five years, but maybe it was because they weren't you.

People who stay together for the life

Before they become lovers, they are friends.

We'll try to make one all night, but

We stay kids as long as our parents are alive

"Where is Lucky?" Yelena asked, and this brought back her sister from her memories.

"He's with my mom. He had an appointment with the vet, and he was too tired to come." The brunette said the blonde nodded. "If Melina had called me earlier, I would have brought him."

"It's not my fault if you are not aware of everything." Melina said, and you chuckled.

"Oh come on Melina, you called me when I was sleeping; I almost won't be able to come." Wanda spoke dramatically, and you laughed.

"Sorry, but you have bad timing, Melina." You said, and the older woman glared at you.

"Oh, and what were you doing, you two?" She said pointing at you and Natasha, but neither of you replied. You blushed, and Wanda gasped.

"It's totally gross." The sokovian said, and you chuckled. "And Nat, you really replied?" She asked, and your girlfriend blushed.

"Of course, I replied. She's my mom, and she could be scary when you don't reply to her calls." The Russian defends herself.

"But you were..." The witch spoke, and Yelena seemed to finally notice what you were talking about.

"Okay, can we not talk about my sister's sex life for my birthday, please?" The blonde asked, but it was more of an order. Kate fake gagged, and you rolled your eyes.

"Oh come on, stop acting like you just discovered that." You said.

"Y/n stop!" The two sisters said, and you laughed.

I talk to her about me; she talks about us, about us, about us.

She's in love with the love, the love, the love, but...

"Is it true that you want to move on?" Kate asked, and you frowned at your eyebrows.

"How do you know that?" You asked her.

"Clint told me." She replied and shrugged her shoulders.

"And it's true." Natasha said. "I want a big house. I mean, I love our house now, but I need a new training room." She explained.

"And we also need a porch, for our home date." You added, and your girlfriend chuckled. You were definitely the more romantic, but it's okay because you loved it.

To find the love now, it's the grail.

A little drama red on your lips

We're not obligated to be enamoured to love each other.

After a little more talk, you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. When you left, all eyes were now on the redheaded Russian. She was totally oblivious because her own attention was focused on the wine glass on the table; there was a lipstick mark on it, your lipstick mark.

The wedding is to please the motha.

You came back but immediately excused yourself again, but to the kitchen now. And this time Melina cleared her throat, and her daughter looked at her.

"I think it's the best time now." Melina said, and Wanda and Kate looked at Natasha, confused.

"Wait, you didn't propose to her yet?" The young brunette said, and Natasha sighed.

"But why?" The sokovian asked this time.

"Apparently she's not ready." The blonde Russian said.

"What do you mean you're not ready?" Wanda asked, visibly shocked. "I've known you for a while now, and I think everybody here can confirm that nobody made you happier than her. So what is the problem?"

"But if she doesn't want?" Natasha asked, and Kate groaned.

"Oh come on, Nat, she called Yelena her sister-in-law, she only has an eye for you, and every time we talk about weddings, she's the most implied." The archer said.

"She has like, twenty wedding dresses in her gallery picture." Wanda said.

"And she even did the guess list." Yelena added, and her sister was shocked.

"Hear. She's totally ready and she wait you." Melina said. "You fought aliens and Nazis and took down one of the worst HQs in the world together. So why you should not be ready? You know everything about each other, and you love each other, despite the fact that you always act like an old married couple. So what's your point?"

Natasha processed all she heard and took a deep breath before standing up. "If she says no, I'll be desperate." She said before storming to the kitchen.

The wedding is to please the motha.

But I'll even ask you if you want to marry me.

"Hey babe, sorry I was about to come, but Lila sent me a video of this cat." You said when you saw Nat enter the kitchen. She stopped beside you, and you showed her the video.

"He's so cute." She cooed, and you smiled.

"Did you see that?" You looked at her, and she was nervous. Girlfriend instinct, you made her sit on the nearest chair and took her hands for a little reassurance. "What's going on?" You asked.

"I have something to ask you." She spoke, and you nodded. Okay, don't laugh. I didn't prepare anything." She warned you, and you nodded again. "Okay Y/n. I wanted to wait for the right time, but I found that there was really no wrong time; I was just afraid. We've been together for a long time now; you were with me during the attack on New York; you were here when we fought Hydra; we ran away together after the accords; and you helped me destroy the red room." She paused to take a breath. "I know I was not ready until now, and the girls said that I didn't really have to be scared or anything. I'm sure you already chose the dress, and apparently you even did the guess list. You're very precious to me, and what I could do without you..." She was rambling, but you stopped her.

"Wait, who told you about the guess list?" You asked.

"Yelena. But this is not the time now." She spoke, and you nodded. "So today I was like, 'no, Nat, she would never want to spend all her life with you, like, why?' but after I talked with the girls, they were like, Wait, you're totally dumb to think that she doesn't want it' and I was like, 'Really?', and they were like 'its obvious she want' and here we are now." She took a deep breath. "Man, I'm really nervous." She said, and you chuckled.

"Sooo?" you asked.

"Yeah, I want to ask you, do you want to marry me?" She asked, and she didn't let you have the chance to reply before she was rambling again. "Wait, you're not obligated or anything. It's not because we spent five years together that's mean you want to spend more. It's just you always so–"

You kissed her to stop her, and when you pulled away, she was confused. "Yes, Natasha, I want to marry you." You said, and she started to cry.

"You want to? Even though I'm definitely not the best–"

You kissed her again. "Yes, I want to marry you. And don't worry, I really think you're the best choice for me." You said, and she smiled. "Usually it should be the one who's been proposed who should cry." You joked, and she chuckled.

"I was nervous" she admitted, and you kissed her forehead.

"And how are you now?" You asked.

"Relive and happy." She said, and you smiled.

"I can't wait to call you my wife." You said, and she grinned. You wanted to say something else, but some footsteps stopped you. When you both looked in the direction of the sounds, you found the women there, visibly waiting for something.

"She said yes!!" Natasha yelled, and you laughed. The women face were now bright with a wide smile.

"It's the best present you could get me." Yelena said, and you hugged her.

"You're such a drama queen, sister-in-law." You replied, and you rolled your eyes.

Yes, that's it. Natasha watched you talk with her sister, and honestly, she was more than happy to finally asked you the question. You're totally hers now, and she's totally yours.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romonova #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff fluff #yelena belova #yelena belova x fem!reader #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff x female reader #kate bishop #kate bishop x fem!reader #melina vostokoff #melina vostokova #melina vostokoff x reader #marvel fanfic #marvel fic

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miiserableee · 9 months

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( 𖤘 ) ▸ my oshi graduates ! : scaramouche x fem! reader !

y/n have grown up comforted by vtubers and her childhood bestfriend and now boyfriend: kunikuzushi ! suddenly , a week before , her current oshi is announced to be graduating ?! what the hell ?! kunikuzushi strives to comfort and knock some sense into her !!

( !!! ) mentions of vtuber semi addicted reader ?! reader is very assertive and straight forward ! reader loves icecream , and is a crybaby ! scara here is mentioned to be kunikuzushi ! ooc scara !! they age around late 20s !! MODERN au ! 1.6k words !!

YOU CRY , LiKE BORDERLiNE wail-cry . "What are you crying about ?" the question was asked for your well-being , since well , you've been crying since you woke up this morning . how can you not ? after seeing the tweet of your favorite vtuber's agency . said vtuber graduating after a month !

your heart drops again at the thought , it shatters and you struggle to see where the shards have gone . you stay there in bed , bawling your eyes out . you see his fellow vtubers he's befriended throughout his journey , tweet their well wishes . wishing him the best , respecting his decision .

you know , you knew , that they were all meant to graduate at one point . they can't stay a streamer their whole lives . you've witnessed and known of these graduations before . it's not new and it's not supposed to hurt you . it's most of the time , the streamers' decision .

as for your favorite vtuber's case , he said he wasn't burnt out , he was just , done . he said he tried his best to get back on his two feet , he tried , he really did . but it didn't work out as well as he thought it would . he said he had accumulated the decision of graduating months before .

and almost everyone in his community have long since known .

you weren't that attached to him to begin with honestly , you were more attached with his other fellow vtuber in the same wave . he was just really close with that vtuber so he caught your attention . you had your shit tons of laughs with his loud menacing laughter . you bawled your eyes out in his serious talks of serious things on streams . you loved how he viewed all his achievements . you loved him for who he was on stream and out of it .

you were always ready to support him with your everything .

and you still support him with this decision , he was leaving to live his life as a person of the world . to take care of his personal business . that doesn't stop you from chowing down on this bucket of ice cream and continuously crying though .

you stare at your computer screen , your chin on your boyfriend's shoulder . his tweet makes you cry even more . the tweets from his fellow close vtubers makes you wish you could say something to him too . well , you could . you cry again .

something lumping right on the very edges of your throat . you feel it hurt . and so you sob . what will become of his group now that he's going to be gone ? it's not like it can't function without him , it's just that , it wouldn't feel the same without him .

"Hey , Y/n . I swear . . ." you ignore your boyfriend and cry more . you've been hugging him since this morning and you haven't been letting go . he's been feeding you the ice cream and hugging you through it all .

"Scara will be gone . Kuni , I can't , it hurts so much ."

you wail in his arms and he only ever pulls at his patience to just sigh and pat your back for the umpteenth time today . he really doesn't get why you cry so much over this matter .

he reaches out for your chin and makes you look up . wiping your snot and tears with tissues he struggles to reach with you clinging to him like a newborn koala . you finally look at him properly , he seems to like that , with how he finally flips his frown into a smile . which only leads you to crying more and more .

"I'll miss Scara so much ."

he has been hearing this since earlier and it's been grating at his ears and he can't help but feel a tinge of envy . though placid it is not why he feels as so with all the cloudy confusion . he simply hugs you again and wonders when you'll stop .

he knew how attached you were to vtubers . he's helped you through countless times as these when your favorite of a few years finally graduates . during high school , when your very first oshi decided to graduate after long years of being with you through as you say , your toughest times .

hearing you sniff more into his sleeves , he plops down and nudge you to roll unto his shoulder this time . you hug his chest while he caresses the top of your head . "Stop crying , Y/n . Weddings don't plan themselves , you know ?"

"Let me grieve , Kuni ."

"Scara isn't dead or dying , he's just graduating ." you shake your head and snuggle more into him . "I'm sorry , just a bit more . I promise ."

you've said that at least , 25 times now . how'd he know ? he'd prefer no one ask . truly , his patience is only ever so malleable with you . such exception you've always found natural to ignore as you've had it long since before .

vtubers have become quite a piece into your life . you weren't that blessed with the best family , not least bit decent either . always alone at home left with the freezing chills of the neverending cold war you've had with your parents for as long as either you two have known . he doesn't remember who exactly introduced you to vtubers , but someone did . and since then , you've been quite attached to them .

they were a comfort you placed all your solace in , like an idiot , completely aware of their often departing but never giving up hunting and searching . always supporting until the end and crying your eyes out when they announce their expected graduation .

as a person who's always been stubborn about dreams and hopes in life , to the point that it became a thorn between you and your beloved parents , you were quite devoted to your oshis . like they were your lifeline . after long days at school before , you would play a stream and just watch and listen . you'd do your chores and tasks with one played on the background . you cry when they cry . you laugh when they laugh . your smile never fades , it ever so brightens when they speak of their appreciation of the milestones they reach because of all the support .

if you weren't fussing over schoolworks and your planned life for yourself , you were busy hunched and watching streams trying to fill a hollow in you that you were born with .

kunikuzushi was with you through all of that . he was a bigger part of your life , as you claim yourself , but that's only because he chose to partake in being a part of the other big part of your life . he was with you when you argued with your parents , when you were in your room crying and wishing you were better so they'd trust you more , when you were wondering why you even forged yourself to be the person you are now if it's not liked by the people you love most . he was with you when you finally found what you wanted to be in life . he was with you when you were the happiest , almost every stream , he watched them with you . even if it was boring and he doesn't really like it sometimes .

he even tried to be a vtuber himself for you to look at him the same way you looked at your oshis .

he did well , he hid it from you , coincidentally he even became your oshi . he learned a lot of things from being a vtuber , he was happy there , as much as he wouldn't really admit it .

when he told you . you were over the moon . he also proposed to you next and he saw it with his own eyes , how you seemed to just sit there above the moon afloat and unbelieving .

when you heard he was graduating , as scara mouche of 6WIRL of Genshin , of course you were bawling your eyes out in dismay and utter pain .

sure , you've met the rest of the members in real life . they all congratulated you two . they even said all the best things about kuni . they felt okay with everything . but it all felt hollow for a moment . scara was still your oshi of 2 years . add how mad you are that he hid it from you . you always thought the voice was merely a coincidence and him being busy was just because he was busy with his taking over of his mother's business . you should've known , really . but can you blame yourself ? kunikuzushi never sounded like he cared for vtubers to ever attempt and be one .

"Scara is just getting married . You know this ." he says and you sniff . yeah , getting married , to you . "Do you really want me to choose that career over you ?" you punch his arm with a glare .

"Damn bro , you gotta hit me with that , huh ?" you sit up , finally and wiped your own tears , wrists wet and cold . "Thank you for choosing me , Scara ."

as he looks at you look at him , like he's all you ever wanted to be imprinted in your eyes , he laughs . finally . finally he's got what he's always wanted .

"It'll always be you , Y/n . Always ."

"Are you sick ? You're too sweet—" he sits up and hugs you , chuckling as you began to laugh yourself . "I wish you all the best , Scara ." he scoffs and ruffles his hair before he did yours too , messing it up like the chords amess on the floor in his streaming room .

"Kunikuzushi , you mean ."

you kiss his cheek , to stop the ruffling . "Yeah , Kunikuzushi . I love you . My very last oshi !" he turns his face , showing a smirk you're way too familiar with . kissing you deeply until you can't remember anything but him . and how he gets you feeling , things .

"I love you too ."

SCARA-LiNE / WORK NAVi !

mysta rias is graduating next month , im crying my ass out rn . AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA what more of me when bebe shu graduates ??? anyways , thank u for 163 followers and half a thousand notes on youre too loud !! you all rock !!

#scaramouche #genshin scaramouche #x female reader #x fem!reader #genshin impact #wanderer #scarashots!#scaramouchexfem!reader #scaramoucheimagines #scaramouchexreader #ayoko na #iiyak na naman ako nito tangina #sort of inspired by my pain of knowing mysta is graduating lmao

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