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#but also...the gender convo...“do I wanna be a girl or do I just want him to like me like one....”

bomber-grl · 3 months

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Leo Valdez x Child of Poseidon 🌊🐚

Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!reader

Is scared, literally.

The first time he met a child of Poseidon was by being yelled at because he was possessed and accidentally shot at camp Jupiter

Not to mention how intimidating Percy is so ofc Leo is a bit reluctant to talk to you

I mean, because of Percy being part of the 7 you end up being around and a convo between you and Leo is inevitable

Eventually after much talking and hanging around you two quickly grew closer and it’d probably be because Leo thinks you’re literally the most hilarious person on this planet

Ofc he was also intimidated by you but now it was mostly because of how attractive you are

So finally when you and Leo are just chilling, it was after a bonfire and you two began walking by the lake before you both had to go to bed

He ceased the opportunity and decided to confess, even if you didn’t like him it’s not like he would be surprised

But then you told him that you like him too

Which, that surprises him

Anyways once you start dating Percy is probably protective of you

I mean you’ve been by him and helped him out plus your his sibling so ofc he’s gonna be protective

Butttt if he sees Leo and you being happy then he’s happy too

Ok ok so we all know about Percy and Annabeths underwater kiss and whatnot

And somehow it’s stayed relevant (ofc it has its percabeth)

So Leo, his dumbass waits for your first kiss to be as romantic as that and once he gets impatient he brings it up as indirectly as he can

Ofc u catch on and call him dumb and he gets a bit depressed but what he doesn’t know is that you’ve been thinking the exact same thing

Ofc your first kiss wasn’t perfect and was a result of a failed capture the flag as u flew into the lake but when you grabbed Leo and created an air bubble he knew what he had to do

And then you guys kissed

Onto the actual things that involve your powers-

He’s so in awe like if he was still struggling with his self confidence he’d been jealous or compare himself but you continue to surprise him

I mean, ofc he knows you can breathe underwater and stuff and he asks the most stupid questions in response to finding out more things about you.

He literally asked if you ever played mermaid before and if you wanna play-

Honestly real but that’s not the point

Leo also is absolutely shocked that you can talk to horses

After he finds out he initially just thinks about how cool that is

I mean it’s giving Disney princess but hey, still cool right?

Well eventually he starts calling u a horse girl (despite ur gender) and he just makes fun

Like bro, if you wanted to you could literally obliterate him, he CANNOT be talking rn

Still even when Leo is being weird and makes the strangest jokes just to tease he’s still so sweet

Especially since he knows if he don’t treat you right he’s at risk but still

Since you’re rlly strong compared to him he feels really protected and if you let him protect him too then he’s one happy guy

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wof-reworked · 4 months

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ok I can't stop thinking about the jade winglet, here's my gender hcs for all of them

Moonwatcher - she/they (nonbinary)

I feel like this is fun bc rn (in canon) her gender is just "anxiety" but like,,, one day in the future she gets to actually play around with it

like she captures a very specific type of person I've met who you go "oh I mean I know she's gay but she's probably cis..." and then you have like one real convo and find out they're like not only nonbinary but better at it then you

I think she should get to be butch when she's older. I think she deserves being a) massive compared to her two twink boyfriends and b) gnc as shit

Kinkajou- any/all (genderfluid +transfem)

Kinkajou strikes me as being like. totally ambivalent to gender. Kinkajou changes her pronouns based on how the fruit he ate for breakfast makes him feel. Kinkajou is better than you

I think she was like staunchly using she/her for a while bc it just felt right and like changes pronouns situationally- Rainwing village is she/her, Jade Academy is any/all, close friends it varies, etc etc

Qibli- he/they (transmasc)

Qibli's just always kind of known who he is, and has been like. pretty contentedly in his corner for a while. I think it's like- a pillar of stability for him of like "at least I know I'm (x)"

Proximity to Moonwatcher puts the they/them in there bc I think it's nice when ppl get more comfortable so they start branching out a lil bit :> Qibli has like. guy who says "he/they" because he doesn't mind they/them and wants his friends to feel supported y'know

Winter- he/him (cis + gnc)

Look I feel bad making him one of like. two cis ppl at JMA but like I think it's funny if he's cis but inflicts a status effect of gender envy on every trans person in his proximity

guy who does makeup flawlessly because "it's fun" and decimates your sense of identity as you wonder why the fuck god gave these gifts to a man

extra funny for the fact that as a dragonet he gets offended by the implication he's pretty. he gets over it eventually I think

Turtle- she/her or he/she/they (transwoman/trans)

See here. Otherwise I think she's like trans and this could go in like. any fucking direction ngl

transmasc turtle??? hell yeah !!! transfem turtle??? hell yeah !!! gender is whatever Turtle has going on and god knows if she knows it

last egg to crack bc Turtle is immune to self reflection that isn't anxiety and self loathing

"Haha everyone hates how other people refer to them and their gender what do you mean? :)" (entire jade winglet: cringing with worry)

Umber- he/him (cis)

cis and a lil insecure about it but like. he's just nice :)

he's like experimented with pronouns and gender and found none of them really stuck so like. cis+. cis (extended dlc). you know what I mean I hope

gonna be honest I'm lost for him bc I genuinely forget he was there bc he peaced out so fast. justice for my boy I want to know more !!!!!

I could be persuaded for transman Umber ngl,,, it tempts me,,,,,,

Peril- she/her (trans woman)

On one hand I'm torn bc I think it almost doesn't make sense for her backstory BUT ON THE OTHER HAND the idea of Scarlet being supportive of Peril's identity and LITERALLY NOTHING ELSE is hysterical to me

though actually if we wanna get sad,,,, that 100% could be a manipulation tactic of Scarlet. "see I love you I even accept you" etc etc. now I just feel bad man

Peril's also in the same camp of Qibli of knowing this abt herself since she could think and being happy in it. She knows what she's about

BONUS:

Carnelian- she/they/he (transmasc)

Look butch can be a gender and sometimes you're a mean butch skywing idk what to tell you

wish she stayed alive bc her and Moon could've been legendary together. girl who will kill for you vs girl who desperately wants you to do anything else please we talked about this you can't solve your problems with murder

I think Carnelian's true gender is Skywing Patriot and idk how to put that in hc form but this is as best I've got

#wings of fire #wof headcanons #wof reworked #this is canon 2 me so it goes in the tag ok #qibli wof #winter wof #moonwatcher wof #turtle wof #kinkajou wof #peril wof #carnelian wof #umber wof

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buffporcupine · 4 months

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death note headcanons

because i know my death note mutuals aren’t getting what they wanted from me

light

-can crack his elbows the way one would crack their knuckles

-probably had to do a musical elective in his first year of middle school and chose guitar cause he thought it would be easy but it wasn’t.

-the type of song he really enjoys is very specific. going to hell yet i tried so so hard to please god song. i missed my only chance song. why wasn’t i like the other kids song. thrones playlist. i could elaborate but i won’t

-as for sexuality, i see him as not wanting to put a label on whatever he is in theory but in practice being some type of bispec (probably berriromantic) for romantic attraction and then somewhere on the asexual spectrum for sexual attraction.

-as for gender i see him as agender whose not really in labeling himself as anything when it comes to sexuality and gender.

-agender but probably 100% fine with being super male presenting. he just wants to keep out of gender as a convo and that’s great. good for him

-no!!!!! i refuse to say this mf is aromantic (because it’s not accurate and it’d be an insult to aromantic people to say he’s aro)!!!!!

-just because he manipulated misa and kiyomi into doing his bidding and didn’t love them doesn’t immediately make him aro. i’m sure he could have found someone if he wanted to, and he could have loved them if he was with them to love them, but he wasn’t with them to love them he was with them to use them.

misa

-half belgian half japanese. her parents met in belgium while her father was on vacation.

-also im torn bcos i wanna write an au where misa is mexican and that’s it everything else is the same as canon but i’m pretty sure that’s just me wanting her to be even more Like Me (tm)

-speaks a little bit of english, way more french, and obvi japanese. finds linguistics interesting but doesn’t have enough time to research it that thoroughly

-likes being short and “small” small girl aesthetic i guess but sometimes wishes she had longer legs so she could wear skirts w/o looking silly and short

-panromantic does not see gender at all when becoming attracted to someone. i see her as def on the ace spectrum, maybe something like demisexual or aegosexual. could be me projecting dunno.

-she’s probably dated both girls and boys before

-would NOT break up with someone in a rude way or just dump them. she’d put a lot of effort into an apology and explanation into why.

-if she met miu iruma they’d be best friends. sorry i bring danganronpa into everything guys

-can we please just appeciate mexican misa for a second. she’s cooking sopa de fideo for the task and being the bilingual hot girl we all needed

-mexican misa

-as for her music taste she probably listens to upbeat english language music and sappy love songs. “there is a light that never goes out” and “melt with you” sound like go-tos for her sorry. i could also see her being a bimbo pop ayesha + britney manson girlie though

-tbh whatever your race/ethnicity is you could project it onto misa and it’d work. i love it. anyway d d d d d d d did i say m m m mexican misa

-i think she’d love love love getting her hair done!!! sensitive scalp mf but she’d still love getting her hair done

-mexican misa visiting mexico and getting braids and cute clothes and her fave candy

-was not a theatre kid. sorry guys but her middle and high school didn’t offer theatre 😔😔

lawliet

-chronically dehydrated just because he forgets to drink water. he tries to drink water and always gets afraid of developing kidney / liver problems but he just keeps forgetting. what the fuck L

-soup stan i think he’d love some good soup. soup stan x soup cooker (lawmane)

-i think you could have a really deep convo about anything with L. if you’re passionate about anything he’ll just listen and he’ll talk to you about what he’s passionate about to. he loves to think and would def entertain you with a convo about whether a hot dog is a sandwich or something dumb like that you know.

-he’s a thinker he just loves discussions

-has a british accent when speaking english bcos watari and lived in england you know. he thinks british accents in english sound good tho and LOVES making fun of how silly new york accents are (me too bro. me too)

-if he went to middle school or the japanese/british equivalent of it, he’d def be the type to choose some weird ass elective fucking creative writing instead of the “normal” guitar, choir, band, orchestra and shit

#death note #death note headcanons #light yagami #l lawliet #misa amane #yagami light #amane misa #l death note

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toomuchracket · 9 months

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which of your mattys would you wanna see barbie with???

I can't choose because;

- flatmate matty would just be so sweet and willing to learn and change

- birthday party matty would be great to have an in depth convo and analysis with

- d word matty would not only have a deep convo but would apologise on behalf of all men and insist on reparations (what type of reparations is up to you...)

any, really! i agree with everything you said. i think that in the flatmate universe, it would be you guys when you're older and married with the kids, and you'd take them to see it - you'd all laugh a lot, and matty would probably get really emo about the Difficulties of Womanhood stuff thinking about how it affected you and how it'll likely affect your daughters and how he's going to do (well, continue to do) all he can to minimise the hardships for his three girls. you'd probably look pointedly at him when ken starts playing guitar at barbie, but smiling, and matty would slide down in his seat in embarrassment thinking about all the times he did the same thing to you when you were younger lmfao. as for birthday party matty, he'd be delighted at how well-constructed the film was (ie... postmodern. meta. self-referential. deep. but also fun!), and he would ABSOLUTELY be like "babe! it's you!" about nobel prize in literature barbie and cuddle you when you get all shyly excited about that fact - like you said, he'd discuss it in-depth with you and really take an interest in what you had to say about the film and greta and her work (you're a writer. of course you've made matty watch little women lmao). d word is very similar, again like you said, with the deep chats and interest in the construction of the film - i think you probably make a few jokes to him during the opening dreamhouse montage like "barbie at her very best", and then when ken has his little mojo dojo casa house you and matty turn to each other like "oh, no, THAT'S atvb lmaoooo". on the way home, matty's like "those feelings barbie had in the real world for the first time, and the shit she went through... that wasn't exaggerated, was it?" and you're like "unfortunately not"; matty shakes his head like "i hate that. i'm sorry, sweetheart", and you smile softly at him like "you're fine, matty, you don't have to apologise to me on behalf of all men. besides, i think the film showed that all genders struggle with expectations and roles really well, no?". matty's like "oh, definitely, i appreciated that a lot, but... i would quite like to do something for you to say sorry. as a feminist act lol" - you grin and say "well, in that case... i could do with a back massage", and matty's like "babe that's a treat for me. but whatever you want, you'll get" lmao. basically any matty would be ideal <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #d word matty #flatmate!matty #dad!matty #into the birthday partyverse

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stateswscarlet · 7 months

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Hi scarlet! So I realized that I felt like I was being held back. I’d love to hear your pov.

Storytime: I was in a long relationship so I got accustomed to having my person (sp). He was my person and basically my best friend that I told everything to, I have always been very private about my life but with him in the picture, I would tell him stuff and forget to inform any of my other friends. I’m also very antisocial and introverted so finding my person was literally a dream come true.

This also resulted in me not rly having any actual close friendships and although I had like one real friendship, she got a boyfriend and became the same exact way I was but even worse (she frl be neglecting me).

We shared a friend group though and so if I wanted to go out because I didn’t want to neglect my friends we would go or vise versa. We didn’t just suddenly abandon them yk. He was the extrovert in our relationship. I spent every single day with him. We also weren’t comfortable with having friends of the opposite gender (if they were our friends before it was good and ofc we could have convos with the opposite gender). So I was completely fine with this bc I just don’t be talking to anybody.

But once we broke up I felt like I was missing out on everything. He had his guy friends and even made girl friends (my assumption). He was going out and even with these girl friends. I had nothing to do with my days. Now I definitely want him back. But my eye twitches when I overhear this girl saying “It’s not funny you woke me up when you called me and asked me to run” or when she’s all touchy on him.

Since I certainly know that, that would NOT be happening if we were together. I certainly know that if I want to get back together with him even hanging out with my guy friends alone would bother him (I would be too) and I just can’t have that guilt of knowing I want him back and hanging out with and talking (being friendly) with guys while being single. Because I know once we get back together I would cut all these guys off in a heartbeat and we would have a conversation on what we did when we were not together. It’s just embarrassing yk.

He was so madly in love with me when we were together but once we broke up, he honestly embarrassed me and I don’t wanna embarrass myself even more doing all this stuff when I know for a fact I would drop all these guys in a heartbeat and never look in their direction if we got back together

Sorry this was so long! I just felt like I’m not living life how I should be and I seriously have no friends (which I’m fine with) but if I was with my man, I would be out everyday doing something.

you do realize you can apply the law to having your ideal social life/friends right? it doesnt have to remain exclusive to manifesting sp.

i completely get where you’re coming from, and as someone who is also an introvert and wasn’t really surrounded by a bunch of friends and USED TO mainly rely on my bf for a social life (him being the extroverted one), I will tell you right now that being this way may seem cute and feel normal on paper, but its the number one way to become codependent on your bf and the relationship you have. you don’t need a massive friendgroup or a booming social life, but you CANNOT be waiting on sp to liveyour life. idc what you do but you need your own independence and personality and hobbies aside from the relationship, and you should have at least one friend who you treat equally as your partner (manifest a best friend if theres no one u have rn).

as for your guy friends situation i just feel like you’re overcomplicating this too much, if you feel uncomfortable then don’t hang out with them, but also keep in mind you’re not in a relationship in the 3D, so it makes no sense to act like you are and cut them off (if they’re good friends) just because you “know if sp was here you’d cut them off”; well sp isn’t in your 3D as your mans so you shouldn’t be doing anything that you would do in a relationship. whatever you do in the 3D never conflicts with imagination because everything is neutral and you aren’t doing this to see it in the 3D.

also, you need to forgive sp for hanging out with girl friends bc to be fair you guys aren’t together in the 3D and I understand feeling annoyed, but that is something you need to work on yourself and move on from otherwise you’ll never stay loyal to your new state. it sounds harsh but i promise i was in your situation too, but he isn’t responsible that you choose to have a different (almost nonexistent) social life. theres no point being hurt and annoyed knowing damn well you’re choosing this for yourself day after day.

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sleepy-achilles · 2 years

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Today has been a wild one. Rambles ensure with a wwe related update at the end.

Context, ga stands for great auntie and I do not like physical touch or speaking.

My ga is one of the only person who I enjoy hugs from. She gives the warmest hugs. Like I can't describe it but it's so safe and warm. Like you can just melt into it. She always gets upset to leave us and I just adore her to bits. Today she hugged me, loved every minute of it, and then held my face and told me to look after my mum. (I do anyways but I know what's she saying.) My nan is bascially ill but she's refusing help and it's too much for my mother who's lost her brother and father already.

My other ga who married into the family, we have a very big family on my mother's side, sat next to me and told me, well I thought she was asking, that I'm the only one here with my head screwed on, I said I wouldn't say that in which she told me, trust me you do. Taking care of your girls, my sister and mum at this moment my sister as her husband was texting her and being annoying and I dealt with it, your father etc. Then gave me a whole speech about how she's old so she doesn't understand sexualities and gender and stuff but I just need to be me. Which just tells me my father's had a field day talking about my stuff again, he does this alot, I don't mind it's just awkward with the older lot. Let's just say I have not been to France since the convo with his mother and they no longer ask about me other Skype. Lol.

And then my cousin just looked at me and told me to join the police force after my mother told him what jobs I was struggling through choosing.

Family party's are interesting and weird.

Idk why I'm posting this, I'm sleep deprivate and it's just a moment that meant a lot to me I guess. I also just wanna keep my first ga forever because she gives the best hugs and I just want one everyday, like oh my god I love it. Best auntie ever. I also guess I wanna record more of these moments. Especially after losing my uncle who just like my auntie (the first ga we genuinely just call them aunties and uncles even if your like 5th generation as we are just that close) liked to make sure everyone felt included and comfortable at these events. And well this is our second event without him and I guess its just hit me. Like I miss him so damn much and I don't wanna lose anyone else you know? I wanna have them experience my life with me. Want them at my wedding, my kids birthdays. I just hate how life works sometimes.

Sorry that got weird.

Update! I'm working on shawns birthday week edits and more family of destruction fics. I most likely won't make a edit for Hunters birthday. I didn't for Kevin's. I just find it easier to make the edits for the main people of my accounts because its easier for me i guess. I'm just at that weird crossroad of life of deciding what I'm doing next and stuff. So yeah.

#sleepy updates #enjoy sleepy talks #achilles is tired #achilles rambles #sleepy rambles #updates

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its-spelt-hermaeus-mora · 2 years

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Transmasc Joy headcanons part two because fuck it I say so.

- The team had a general consensus of "Oh wait what okay this is what we're doing now"

- Joy first started questioning his gender at a pretty young age but buried those thoughts until he joined the team.

- Said thoughts reappeared when Dallas pat him on the back after a heist and said "Good job, boys." Joy went to his van after the heist to relax and had a moment of "mmm boy :)"

- Joy had been super nervous to come out. The team pretty much saw him as "the hacker girl" so he didnt know how/if he could change their perception. And of course he was scared that he was gonna be kicked out.

- He told Bain first. He had heard Bain make jokes about his own transition in the past so he felt comfortable. He asked Bain to tell Dallas for him, as he was extremely nervous.

- Dallas was super supportive but tried to keep it hushed until Joy was comfy telling the whole team. He knows how sometimes people wanna keep their identity secret.

- He had sat down with Joy one day after a heist and just went "Okay how do I help you feel more comfortable at the Safehouse and with our team?"

- The nickname Dadlas was not dropped after this instance. In fact, Dallas could swear he hears it more often now.

- Naturally, Chains, Wolf, and Hox were the next to learn. Dallas got them all in a room and walked in with Joy like a parent bringing his kid to a board meeting.

- Joy was hella nervous cause these are some. Pretty scary guys.

- Wolf and Hoxton didn't know how to react, they knew Bain was also trans but they didn't really remember that often.

- I'd like to think Chains grew up in a household where he was taught "No matter what, you respect people if they respect you."

- So he was the first to speak up.

- "Alright, cool. Is there a new name you want us to use for you?"

- After the conversation, Wolf pulled Joy aside and went "Okay listen Hox and I fully support you we've just never been in this situation before so we don't know what to do."

- The garage gang learned next. Joy always felt comfy around Sydney, she just had the air of "do no harm but take no shit" so Joy felt at home around her.

- Rust was a little confused, but once Joy said "It just means I'm a guy now." He went "Oh okay." And went back to work.

- Houston immediately registered Joy as a little brother figured instead of a little sister and told him "If theres anything you need help with, let me know, we'll figure it out."

- Jiro and Jacket found out on accident.

- Jiro had been waiting for Joy outside his van and overheard a convo Joy was having with Bain about being scared to fully transition due to his circumstances.

- Jiro had done some research on the phrases he heard Joy use and just went "Wait is Joy not telling me something??" So thats when he had the aforementioned sit-down with Joy (see Trans Joy previous post)

- He was scared Joy would end up like Kento, but in a way he was sort of thankful. He considered Joy sort of a second chance, and he wasn't gonna lose this kid.

- Jacket found out when Dallas tasked him with finding Joy right before a heist.

- Joy had often stayed in his van purely because its where he felt the most comfortable (Also He's used to living out of his car but thats a set of headcanons for a different time)

- Jacket had opened the van and saw Joy in a pair of jeans and his binder, having just woken up and was still getting ready for the day.

- He kinda just shut the door but later Jacket gave him a thumbs up and hasnt been hostile so thats a win in Joy's book.

- Headcanon that Wick has an impeccable gaydar so he just knew.

-"I'm trans." "I fucking knew it."

- Sangres offered to throw a party when Joy came out to him.

- Joy had a moment of "Oh God how am I gonna pay for health insurance??" Because until now he never really needed it.

- Duke found him in his van worrying and he just sighed and went "Joy. We rob banks. Money isn't exactly an issue." "Oh shit yeah you're right."

- Hoxton and Clover physically dragged Joy out to go get better-fitting suits.

- Bain starts sending transtape to the Safehouse regularly because he doesn't want Joy wearing a binder during a heist.

- Joy programs his mask to display the trans colours during the month of June

- The gang doesn't go all out for Pride Month due to a lot of them being somewhat nervous to, but during June, if you look close enough, you can see that the masks of the Payday gang look a little more colourful (thanks to Sydney).

Also, random hc: Bain does his injections on his stomach and Joy does his on his thighs.

#payday 2 #payday #headcanon #joy payday #too many characters to tag ;-;#transmaculine #trans

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dahniwitchoflight · 3 years

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Homesquared Chapter 16

Alrighty, that was a fun tangent, now back to John it seems?

Oh, no, Narration of John (So Actually Dirk, speak of the devil and he shall appear and all that etc etc)

“ leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had. “

pfft lol so Im not the only one that thought it would be funny if that scene was interpreted in a Pale Romantic light, even though that really wasn’t what was happening

OIh! but we still get Roxy, just the other version of Roxy

Roxy subtly being like “hey!! shit has apparently gone down, were not exactly close atm but I feel bad about you dying to want to know if youre still alive so im gonna message you while trying to make it look like i dont care about it as much as I do”

JOHN: trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so

and the wonderful question is, what IS going be happening with you now John?

Roxy looking nice and casual, but also yeah narration, why are you making this ominous, its not like Roxy’s out here to double spy on behalf of Jane, I don’t think Roxys on her side THAT much

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out

ROXY: but so far so good

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Roxy once again being a master of hiding how shes feeling, even when trying to open up, feeling pretty stressed about whats happening with Jane, understandable, the exclamation points give it away lol

The narration is really trying to make John nervous though

OH lol that was the implication haha no lol John it obviously wasn’t that

“John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced? He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.“

lol once again, Dirk has no idea how to read Roxy at all and just trips over himself and his assumptions XD

Yeah, looks like Roxy not on the Jane train and is doing some takesies backsies, shes glossing over her feelings on the matter still though, I know thats par for the course of how Roxy tends to handle stuff too but I wish shed open up a bit more, but maybe shes playing the smart game, yknow, knowing that Dirk has a hard time reading her, so glossing over stuff is how you protect yourself against the narrative force, confusion and vaguery in the narrative and her actions only helps her to keep control over it, because at any point, you can decide to “clear up” any narrative “miscommunication” or “confusion” and lay down what is it thats actually happening with you any time you want

Void working in the behind the scenes to do what they want

JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE.

JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house?

JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self?

JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know?

JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something?

JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames.

JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it.

JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late?

JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison.

JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good.

JOHN: but that’s just bullshit.

JOHN: it DID feel good.

JOHN: i DO feel free.

JOHN: sorry.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize

ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn

JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Im pretty sure you’re talking about a gender thing John, like, very 100% sure now this is what’s happening

because if you were actually a girl, of course you’re dad leaving all these notes about how one day hes gonna be so proud of the man youll become, yeah, that can feel a little pressuring, even if your dad didnt mean it like that, since he was unfailingly the kind of dad just bumbling around trying to understand their kid as best they could and leave encouragements everywhere, thats what his intent was, but all his notes come off a bit wrong in particular issues

remember the note under the fridge that was all like “SON. IF YOURE READING THIS NOTE, YOUVE FINALLY BECOME STRONG ENOUGH OF A MAN TO PICK UP THE FRIDGE.” not exactly that but that was always the vibe Dad’s little notes always had

Yeah, i can see how John would view it as a bit off, but if he hadnt the self awareness to realize it was a gender thing at the time, hed be understandly confused as to why such a thing would bother him

now though, he’s realizing, maybe, he doesn’t exactly want to be the man his dad always encouraged him to be

John does seem a lot happier here in his convo with Roxy than he did on his own when the house was burning, that conversation with karkat left me wondering if John was about to start dissociating he was so down, but here he says he feels freeing and happy about it?

ROXY: but like now that u mention it

ROXY: *meaningful pause*

JOHN: …

JOHN: i

JOHN:

John’s beginning to question stuff, or acknowledge that he’s questioning stuff, cuz it’s true, and hes feeling happy about it, in a way that he wasnt before, but he hasnt quite connected the dots here between the happy feeling and what exactly he has to be happy about

ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push

ROXY: we both got sick muscles

ROXY: no other adjectives necessary

JOHN: yeah ok.

Yeah Roxy’s 100% picked up on it, and maybe Dirk has as well if the narration is commenting on it

Alrighty then, to the secret lair under the bed!

oh I just noticed how kind of cute and interesting Roxy’s nickname for Harry is, “Lil H A” Harry Anderson shortens to Ha like laughter haha

and if Harry had Roxy’s last name, it’d be Harry Anderson Lalonde

Lil HAL

lol what is Callie doing under Roxy’s secret bedchamber XD

This whole secret bedchamber thing is turning into one big metaphor isn’t it?

That thing behind the curtain kind of looks like the Attic Portal shape from Hiveswap though

that’d be neat if that was it, like obviously we knew one of the cherubs had to have something to do with that portal just going by the design of it alone

Honestly it makes sense that Callie is doing it under the curtain of Roxy’s Void, it’s honestly the safest place to do something like that

lol Calliope has grown past writing fanfic about shipping and being in love, now the drama of broken relationships and divorce is all the rage XD character growth? haha

CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr.

CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point.

Calliope just burned him harder than his childhood home’s destruction

CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are.

have you been talking to Jake lol (I mean, probably Original Grandpa Jake tbh if that portal is actually the portal)

Alright so John is getting caught up on the major plot points, Earth C is indeed in the large black hole, his choice didn’t matter since both choices happened anyway yadda yadda

CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip.

CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads".

CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads.

yup yup yup pretty par for the course of timesplits in homestuck so far

CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are".

yup, this is true, the ending’s of both referenced the others, so it’s disingenuous to say one is “canon” while the other isn’t

one is simply in the realm of actual possibility, the other is in the realm of unlikely possibility

More than likely, John would have chosen to leave and go die and be the hero like in Meat, but there was still the possibility that he would stay, even if it was unlikelier than the other, but since both were possible choices for him to realistically make, both actually happened for real

CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity

that’s interesting, so there’s the original meteor that crashed into the surface of Earth C, and it’s in here that the singularity of what I don’t wanna call the Green Hole to match the Green Sun when I wanna talk about this specific Black Hole lolol

but yeah, here in this meteor lies the crux of the paradox it seems, interesting, also interesting again, this is where that Hiveswap Portal is

Hiveswap does have a plot point of “Joey must do thing in 11 days otherwise Earth and Alternia will be destroyed” and the only known destruction event of Earth and Alternia so far in canon is the Green Sun’s Creation from the destruction of both universes (and then later Callie’s destruction of the green sun into the black hole) so is Hiveswap gonna be a factor in the green sun’s destruction/creation as well? (Joey has the symbol of the Green Sun for a reason, I’m super curious as to what factor Joey has in relation to the Green Sun’s Existence, We still don’t know what the fact those black monsters are too, they’re like nega-first guardians, the kind of things that look like would come out of a Black Hole that came from the Green Sun tbh)

It’s all inter-related I tells ya

ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love

JOHN: aw.

You say that now but

CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them.

CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish.

CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart!

CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been.

yeah that’s basically how this multiverse’s reality works, the future is a thing that already physically exists, just in a different location in the universe somewhere else

time travel and spacial teleportation could be said to be the same thing all along

that’s why violating the events of the future has actual consequences, because its like asking to go somewhere that doesn’t exist but how has to exist because it’s the future, too much of that and reality starts cracking at the seams to make room

same thing happens with sessions and playing sburb

the planets and dreaming moons and all that simultaneously have always existed here, and started existing only because the player played the game and the planets were generated upon entering a session, but to the player involved, it looks and feels like you are just being teleported to a different location in the universe, because you also kind of are

CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary.

CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence.

CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon.

CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist!

So you’re just in a little seperated bubble, that’s not connect temporally to any other place of existence, you aren’t anywhere in the past or the future of anywhere else

nowhere leads here, and here can not lead outwards either, theoretically, and yes it exists, so it must also

JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...?

CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal.

CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific.

JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that.

CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U

CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley.

CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u=

CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So someone else definitely has managed to do such a thing

JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything?

JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal?

CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not.

CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm.

JOHN: oh.

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval.

CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality.

CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u

JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

yeah, so because here in the black hole neither affects the past or the future of anywhere else, being so disconnected, they are technically free of the reigns of the Alpha Timeline that exists elsewhere in the multiverse

the Alpha Timeline now being understood to simply mean, The Narrative

Things are the way they are because they are thus written to be so

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth.

CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher.

ROXY: its total bs is what it is

CALLIOPE: right, yes.

CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite.

CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Hmmm. It’s a dangerous idea to be playing with for sure, to decide all the black pieces in the game of chess suddenly become white, it is a very flip turning of reality upside down to be sure

To be honest, I’d think you’d need a powerful Doom player at your disposal to even try something like this

or actually, a powerful Doom user would be most likely to shut this entire thing down, knowing how bad of an idea it’d be, maybe it’s more you need a powerful Life player to do something like this instead

is that also why Dirk viewed Jane as an ally then? She would technically have the kind of power to upend the black and white doomy laws of reality if driven to her full potential, i mean obviously yes, we know this already because of the candy colored I-can-do-whatever-I-want-with-no-consequences lollipop

Is this what Calliope hopes to achieve with the Hiveswap Portal then? her goals for Joey and friends are to be the ones to prevent their universe’s twin destructions, and thus the Green Sun’s initial existence and then also the destruction into the Black Hole after the fact? that would be one way to prevent the Black Hole from existing, making it so the thing that creates the black hole never exists either

and that's certainly a canon event that would be difficult to tear asunder without major consequences

That would be a “Re-writing Homestuck from the very beginning” level of canon event

And if I’m correct, Joey is theorized by me to be a Mage of Life, if any classpect at their full potential was gonna do something like that, or have the impossible knowledge to something impossibly paradoxical like that, well..

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh

ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then.

ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense

ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail

CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity.

ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point

CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan.

CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more.

CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it.

CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak.

CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself?

I mean yeah! makes sense! Johns major factor here is Freedom, Vriska’s is Importance

and yeah, I can think of no other wholly dramatic event that to mess with stuff with the Green Sun, everyone will have eyes on that, they have to, their whole existence the way it is relies on it

But, they could also mean something else, its only condition is that it has to be something so imflappably impossible, something so not-canon and so outrageous that it basically horse-shoes around to the other end of the canon spectrum to being something that truly exists again

and that could be literally anything and it’s nerve wracking and exciting to see what thing theyre gonna come up with to just directly kneecap Homestuck itself

ROXY: thx babe

ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or

JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine.

(yeah that’s because Babe can be construed as feminine June)

so, I’m basically convinced they’re doing June Egbert now

that to me was like, pretty severely on the nose

John: Hey Roxy, what it does mean when you find a sense of freedom when all of the symbolism of the masculinity surrounding your childhood burns down around you

Roxy: idk It’s probably a gender thing man

John: I didn’t say the word gender-

Roxy: It’s ok babe no pressure, we can hash it out later

John: Hmm, later then. :)

Roxy: (Turns and looks towards the camera with a knowing smile)

shit all that imagery makes me think of Roxy as that picture of the small kid smirking at the camera while a house burns in the distance XD

#Homesquared #june egbert #john egbert #yeah theres no way there not gonna bring up June Egbert as a apossibility now #Roxy couldn't have quirked her eyebrows harder at the fourth wall if they had tried #Homestuck #I'm basically convinced now lol #that plus my reaction to chapter 14

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cloneslugs · 3 years

Note

yayoi + shinada + saejima

saejima i did forever ago just bc ik if i answered yours firsy w all 3 this would be ill but it still got too long bc im a sicko but anyway thank you this made me smile to write (:

Lady Dojima

Sexuality Headcanon: bisexual

Gender Headcanon: 🙈 lady . this actually fluctuates depending on how indulgent i wanna be but usually i just go cis woman -_- just bc that's my mom who would love and support me

A ship I have with said character: erm.. *blushes* kashiwagi >_>

A BROTP I have with said character: kashiwagi as well :) that's her best friend thats her buddy, she has a really good relationship w kiryu too but it's different it's like a different tier entirely it's more familial in a sense but it isnt but it is, i also would like to explore her relationship w nishiki (apart from kiryu) but that is just (:, her and haruka would be cute too just bc <3 extended family

A NOTP I have with said character: sera just bc the theories around it get on my nerves, any other man people pair her w tbh besides my beloved <3

A random headcanon: shes kind of a weird girl outside of professional settings i think the blunt way she talks is kind of offputting outside of those and also she just doesnt censor herself not that shes crude but she wont stop herself from saying weird or mean things, she has a really sarcastic sense of humor she delivers everything really dryly so it's hard to tell if shes serious or not also she doesnt laugh a lot you'll probably only make her laugh if you are close w her and even then she is just ._., daigo picks up a lot of his mannerisms from her if you see them next to each other in the same situation they are very very close and similar, she likes strawberry shortcake but shes very particular about it her like former bff ran a bakery and it feels homey and nice to her so <3 fond memories but now shes particular, her favorite flower bouquets are roses + hydrangeas but she doesn't really like roses on their own, she likes cats, she doesnt like cooking but she isnt bad at it, shes very meticulous about how she presents/looks, she has a similar academic bg w daigo, shes self taught w a katana mostly + she practices w it to destress, shes not social but shes kind of chatty if you catch her at the right time but she mostly just asks a lot of questions and doesnt engage in convo well, she likes dresses/skirts but mostly dresses <3, very close w daigo i think he really was one of those kids who was like "my mommy is my best friend <3" but they're very close that's her baby shes very proud of him and they are still close now, shes otherwise not very good w kids i think kind of awkward daigo was her exception everyone else she is just kind of … … …, she likes to sing/hum (: but only when alone/doing menial tasks

General Opinion over said character: i looooove her shes my everything i just care so deeply about her i cant even call her my friend i respect her too much shes a little bit above me but <3 hi lady dojima ik ive said this before and its so embarrassing but i get like >///< *blushes irl* if i think about calling her yayoi or god forbid a milf or anything it feels too disrespectful im so >_> anyway hiii i love you

Shinada

Sexuality Headcanon: homosexual but hes so so repressed but he loves men

Gender Headcanon: trans guy (:

A ship I have with said character: 😏 daigo

A BROTP I have with said character: not including daigo um akiyama (: the whole 5 party really saejima likes to look out for him and kiryu is also there and hed be a cute big bro to haruka

A NOTP I have with said character: mine but its almost allowed bc of how laughable and mockable and ridiculous it is also any polyam ships that involve well. you know..

A random headcanon: autism (: baseball special interest that started when he was like 7 and never went dormant ever, hes bad w time and remembering things he just loses track of everything, he sleeps a lot and can sleep anywhere but if hes not sleeping he has to be doing something like anything, he likes to paint his nails mostly green but sometimes he lets daigo do black, bad at math but he likes writing a lot just in general sometimes he writes little notes/poems/thoughts/stories on his scrap paper when hes procrastinating work they're nothing special so he doesnt even really acknowledge that he likes writing he usually just scraps them or forgets about them it's just for fun, he likes to impress people if someone mentions being into something he tries to get into it too i think hes just a people pleaser, he likes to sing (: also just for fun he doesnt care about being good he'll do it when walking around or when doing literally anything he doesnt care about being loud/obnoxious in public if hes in a good/energetic mood, he cant cook mostly bc he has trouble paying attention to things for a while he gets bored and forgets about stuff, he forgets to cut his hair a lot so it gets long sometimes and he just ties it up until he actually gets around to doing something about it, very friendly he says hi to everyone and is the kind of person to not disclude people ever hes just very kind, he doesnt hold his alcohol well he gets sick pretty fast, hes very good at talking baseball/batting specifically but not very good at teaching or hes not very practical about it at least hes actually better at giving pitching tips, he has weird volume control i think its actually the opposite of daigos, hes a hugger (:, kind of really bad w social cues hes really social but can be awkward he tends to talk too much, he procrastinates a lot but hes also just a "drop everything to come and help" kind of guy maybe he doesnt prioritize well but he just cares about people like he is kind of finicky for money but hes also the type to give up his jacket if someone needs it or lend things out when he can, hes not good at picking up hobbies sometimes girls/friends get him stuff like a plant or some kind of craft kir or something and it's not like he doesnt take care of it/do anything w it he just cant hold an interest he wanted to get into music/instruments once though but it's expensive and then he eventually stopped caring/forgot, he shares his food w street animals when he can, he can either sit through movies or he can't it's either like "if im idle too long ill die" or just intense focus, he smiles a lot it's like his default face but he also smiles/laughs when hes nervous, he takes lots of pictures hes the kind of person to just message out of the blue w a pic saying it reminded him if you even if you dont make the connection and maybe it's just bc he thinks about people when walking around and he'll see something pretty/nice/cute or that just makes him smile so he needs to share it w whoever was on his mind he does it w the rgg5 crew and akiyama doesnt get it but hell send like a thumbs up or some blingee bedazzled stupid pic back + kiryu usually ignores him but deep down he thinks its sweet and maybe says "thanks." but feels too awkward to send a pic of the kids or the beach back + saejima usually sends a cat picture back or just says "okay" or ignores it + haruka always sends something back and kind of does the same thing w shinada now where she'll send him things if she thinks of him bc he started it

General Opinion over said character: he makes me so happy i love him so much hes just sweet and <3 i love you you make my heart feel <3 nice and sweet and kind i love you you mean the world to me you make me so emo i wahhhh i love you <3

#asks #rgg txt #<3 i love you <3 im glad i got to do my faves w you they make me (: loses it a little..#SORRY I DIDN'T KNOW THE SHINADA ONE GOT SO LONG WTF #i was like okay dont add more on lady dojima now it will be obnoxious but i kept going okay just one more for shinada .. but wlel um..

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brieflymagnificentangel · 3 years

Text

some days i hate being a woman

today is that day.

today is the day where all the things my mother taught me about ‘looking good for a job’, that ‘men only want to get in your pants so you should use that to your advantage’, ‘you should vanquish other women for your gain’ bullshit came true

i went to dinner with a man i met very randomly. he took a picture of me during my birthday at a restaurant a few years ago bc i was alone and he thought i could use a picture. this was totally non-creepy given the circumstances, and he was much older than me which also put him in the non creepy category immediately for me (rookie mistake but oh well). over the years we keep in touch semi-regularly talking about career stuff maily.

a few years later were in the same city and he asks to meet. i originally wanted to wear a blazer and shirt to show clearly THIS IS NOT A DATE but i decided to believe in men just this once and so wore a casual turtle neck and skirt. cute professional.

this man first say there would be a third party. third party disappeared the day of. and now this man takes me to a tailor to buy a 900$ suit. while. i sit there. that in itself is not necessarily bad; as he framed it, it’s for “the experience”. as i had no idea of what happened next i just accepted my fate and decided to take it on to see how cool this would be

it was p cool albeit a little boring. things got weird when my man started asking me for my opinion. i then noticed no ring on his finger. that is when the ‘oh shit’ moment hit. i was the slut. the tailors must have thought that. this guy made me sit while he asks for my opinion on irrelevant fabrics (mind you, WE HAD NEVER HAD A PROPER CONVERSATION BEFORE THIS JESUS CHRIST). this would have been fine had it been truly platonic. but.. unless youre family/have know each other well for a while do you take a woman half your age to a tailor to show how much you can blow off in one night? you dont.

it was a lil weird at this point but i thought what the hell this guy took me to a tailor he’s either gonna propose to me down the line or does not view me as a sex object, just a... tailor servant? idk lol anyway we get to the restaurant. we talk and he’s a genuinely interesting dude, so we talk. we’re talking and everything is fine and then.. first shadow of red flag. we were talking about how we met and he mentioned talking to a friend about it like: “oh i mean im only into her if she’s into me” kinda deal. internally im like fuck externally i laugh bc hiw ludocrus. WE JUST SPENT THE PAST HOUR TALKING ABOUT SUITS AND YOURE TRYING TO HIT ON ME RN??????????????????? so we continue talking and the bomb lands: “you’re very attractive”. shit broke my fucking heart. the context of the convo made the sentence to mean physically. that is when i thought ‘i hate being a woman’. we were just having a cool interesting convo about how you grew up and what you learned from it and you just..... ruined it. like fuck man i thought you were actually interested in my work and my trajectory not my looks. i put on the physically repulsed body language on and he stops for a while but then.... he says it again. and again. and then he says “it’s kind of sad in restaurant the guys who are looking for something serious but the girl so obviously wants just food”. took me a minute to realize he thought that was what was going on. no dickhead i want a GODDAMN FRIEND. a friend! a person i can hear stories from!!!!!! no t food!!! i wanted to pay!!! you refused !!! jeSUS. we continue on and we’re talking about some really cool philosophy topic (yeah im a nerd go on) and suddenly.... “you know that’s how i used to pick up girls right? philosophy”. i wanted to laugh and cry. and die. just.. why would you ruin a perfectly good moment. i was having fun. you were too. why. just why. along wiht comments like “women in the work place: you don’t have to be the most beautiful flower, you just have to be the flower”. just. my mother had to endure these assholes all throughout her career. the thing is.. he’s actually an intriguing person and i want to know him more for his story and path. not for his goddamn dick. but my point is i don’t thoroughly hate him; he’s not an outright disgusting guy. actually pretty nice. that makes it worst.

so basically women are not allowed to have men friends bc of their sex object status. growing up i hated being a woman (i didnt wanna be a man, i just didnt want to be seen as gendered). i remembered why tonight especially.

i got the courage to tell his to stop in a message after we met (in a very non confrontational way). time to say goodbye to a good friend/work mentor i guess. kill me.

#women #woman #me

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golbrocklovely · 3 years

Note

I’m sorry if this is random, but my best friend is 100% positive that Namjoon from bts is her soulmate. I love her & she’s amazing, but I’m starting to get worried. She’s extremely depressed & it’s like this is the only thing keeping her going, but she’s becoming so delusional. Sometimes I wanna shake her and tell her to come back down to earth. I feel like I’m losing my best friend. Namjoon doesn’t even know her but she swears up and down he does bc she dreams about him and she claims that it’s a “sign”... She had a dream that Namjoon and I hooked up and I had to tell her repeatedly that it was just a dream. She puts me in the most uncomfortable situations bc of her obsession with this man. The whole “fans attacking any girl Colby hangs with” situation reminds me of her so much bc just like them.. she genuinely believes her and Namjoon are destined to be together.

oh sweetheart, i totally understand what you're going thru. at one point in my life, i was your best friend. my obsession was with nick jonas.

i understand why you're concerned for your friend. but let me explain it from my POV as to why i was so enamored and fully believed me and nick were supposed to be together. part of it came from the fact that i was going thru it back then, like literally ready to unalive myself and was super depressed, and the jonas brothers helped me. so i clung onto them bc they were one of the few things that brought me happiness. obviously i don't know your friend, but that could be why she feels connected to namjoon. part of it can also come from bad experiences with guys (assuming that's the gender she is into). i know i had so many bad experiences with dudes back when i was younger that nick jonas really did seem like the only guy that wouldn't break my heart. it's kinda similar to fans that say 'snc have raised my standards for guys'. bc they are so nice, there is no way i can date someone that doesn't remind me of them, or subsequently is them.

now i will say, my feelings towards nick are gone for the most part. i still love him deeply, or as deeply as i can love someone i truly don't know. do i think him and i are meant for each other? no. and i feel like as long as your best friend isn't holding herself back from living life or experiencing relationships bc she has wait to be with namjoon, then she's okay. idk how old you guys are, but regardless of age, she'll grow up some more and realize that she and namjoon aren't meant for each other. and one day, she gonna find someone that she loves that brings her more happiness than namjoon.

as for yalls relationship, set boundaries. tell her you don't feel comfortable talking about namjoon. try to find things you guys have in common, and when and if she derails the convo onto him, bring it back to those topics.

i know you didn't ask for advice, but i just wanted to help in some way. hopefully this does <3

#ask #personal

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imagines-mha · 4 years

Note

Hello! I was hoping for a matchup with AssClass and Mha. I’m a 5’3 female with unruly dark brown, almost black hair and some freckles. I have ADHD which doesn’t help what I’m gonna say next. I tend to ramble when it comes to what I enjoy, and I talk my close friends and family’s ears off. I write many stories and I’m trying to be a voice actor. I also tend to be hotheaded and you might want to get me out once I’m fired up enough. If you do answer this, thanks!

I wasn’t sure about what gender you like so i did a boy and a girl! Thank u for understanding bro 💖💫

MHA

I ship you with: 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓪 𝓐𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓭𝓸

Y’all,,, imagine a conversation between you both. It would go on for DAYS and would probably be the most animated and loud convo you have ever had in ur lIFE cus this girl can TALK. She has an interest in almost everything and will discuss anything you want to like it’s her sole purpose. However she is also an AMAZING listener bro like you need to ramble about stuff?? She has GOT YOUR BACK. She'll listen for hours

Also, she’s such a mom as we all know lmao like if you’re on medication she’s gonna remember it smh she’ll remember that but nothing she needs for her tests. Also the most supportive girlfriend in the entire world like she’s gonna fucking LOVE hearing your stories and voice acting bro

She has a bit of a bitchy side herself, so if you’re hot-headed towards her she’ll tend to try and put you in your place rather than understand you. BUT once you explain that you can’t help it she’ll be sm more compassionate dw bro

Assclass

I ship you with: 𝓚𝓸𝓴𝓲 𝓜𝓲𝓶𝓾𝓻𝓪

He’s not MUCH of a talker, like if you get him at a good time he could talk til he turns blue, but on the full scale of things- he’s more of a listener, which combats your talkative personality well. Like he’s gonna LOVE listening you to ramble so much that it becomes a hobby kejfnkfshdu

You wanna be a voice actor?? Perfect. He wants to work on a TV show so y’all got that similar dream and BOI does he support you in it. It’s like a path to success for the both of you bro he’s by your side the entire way thru

Really good at calming you down whenever you get too hot headed like it’s a talent. Will never raise his voice or act annoyed with you, and if you ever need to just vent your anger he’ll be there to help you with it. The kind of boyfriend that won’t leave the room til you smile ya know??

#koki mimura #mina ashido #assassination classroom #mha #matchups

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softbookboi · 5 years

Text

Spin The Bottle (a snowbaz fanfic) Chapter 1

Summary: The Eighth Years are playing Spin The Bottle at a party. When Simon sees that his ex-girlfriend Agatha cheated to kiss Baz, he decides to get revenge. During the next game, Seven Minutes In Heaven, Simon cheats and gets himself and Baz in the closet together. Oh my, what could they possibly do in the closet?

Simon

This is stupid. I'm in a huge house full of drunkards stumbling around, falling on top of each other, making out, and dancing like animals solely because I couldn't resist Penny's puppy eyes. Oh, this is so stupid.

I push through the bodies intoxicated with alcohol and wander around, trying to look for Penny, anyone. At this point, I'm even looking for Agatha-no. No, I'm not. Anyone, but not Agatha. As I whip my head around several times, trying to look past the towering dancers, I sigh and make my way towards the stairs. I'll just go upstairs, maybe there's not much of a crowd there and I can relax and find Penny and get the hell out of here.

Agatha broke up with me a week ago, and I've been a bit miserable since then. I was so confused and agitated and angry as to why she would want to break up. We're the perfect couple, her family loves me and we've been together for years now, and then she decides to call it off in the 8th year. I knew part of the reason she decided to call it off was that she liked Baz, and that made me more angry, more upset. So much so that I started eating less and Penny became genuinely concerned about me. So while I talked crap about stupid Baz, she had made a plan to take me to this party. Of course, at first I said no, but then she gave me her puppy eyes and emotionally blackmailed me, so I had to accept. I already regretted it the moment I entered, and she left me and told me to 'get another girlfriend'. It's been an hour now and I haven't seen her anywhere. I want to go home and if I don't find her upstairs, I'll go back by myself.

I finally make my way up the stairs and rest for a minute, leaning on the railing. I was right, there is barely a crowd here, the hall is completely empty except for a few people here and there. I start walking again and check a few of the bedrooms up here. Empty. No one's in them. As I make my way to the last door and reach for the doorknob, someone bursts out and bumps into me, our foreheads smashing together.

"Ahh," I let out. I look up to see the perpetrator is the devil herself, Penny.

"Penny," I start, "why did you bring me here? I wanna go back, I don't like it and it's certainly not helping me feel any better-"

"Merlin's beard, Simon. I'd been looking for you everywhere and was just about to come to get you right now. Where were you?"

"Where was I? Where were you? You left me downstairs all alone with those bloody drunks, I've been miserable! Well, at least we're leaving now-"

"We're not leaving."

"-so it's fin-what? Yes, we are. I've had enough, Penny."

"Come on, just give it another try, we're just about to play Spin The Bottle and it'll be really fun and the people inside aren't even that drunk as that downstairs so you can try a real convo with them."

"Oh, Penny, please, Spin The Bottle? What are you, in middle school?"

"Oh just come, it'll be great. I promise you won't regret it." She said as she grabbed my arm and dragged me in. Inside, everyone was scattered and they were all 8th years. Most of them I was quite friendly with, and others who I'd passed in halls before when I was going to my classes. As my eyes went over everyone in the room, they landed on Baz, talking to his minions, Niall and Dev. Baz.

Baz was here? And he was playing Spin The Bottle? I would've expected him to snide some stupid remark about us 8th years being too mature to play these types of games and then say he wasn't interested, but I guess not? And I hadn't even known he was coming to this party.

As if reading my mind, Penny says, "Every 8th year was invited to this party, we had decided to play these games beforehand, as kind of reminiscing old memories. Surprisingly, Baz agreed to this game without a remark. Guess he wanted to reminisce too, or just wanted to kiss someone. After this, it's Seven Minutes In Heaven. And, uhh...Agatha's here too."

She said the last bit in a really small voice as if apologizing. My eyes soared around the room once again, and I spotted her sitting in the half-made circle, excited. I quickly looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes after what she sent me through. Instead, I glanced at Baz.

He was now making his way towards the circle, sitting down a few feet away from Agatha. Upon watching him arrive, she blushed, and he smiled. Then, he looked my way and smirked. I felt a wave of anger rush over me from this. That prick always liked my girlfriend, and now that we've broken up, of course, he's going to make a move on her. That's probably why he even said yes to this game. She's probably the someone he wants to kiss. That bastard.

Baz

I had heard the door open a bit after Bunce had gone looking for Snow, and spared a tiny glance. It was Snow, he was here.

I felt my stomach drop to the floor and my spirit lift out of my body with hope all at once.

Snow is here, so there's a chance that I could get to kiss him, but I don't think I'll be able to handle that. And there's a huge chance that someone else would get picked. But still.

I only agreed to this game because I thought it was a bit childish, and it's been a while since I felt like a child again so I agreed. But now Snow is here, and I'm sweating with nervousness. I know he won't get picked, I just know, but I can't help but fidget.

I look at Snow as he takes in all the people here but look away before he gets to me and then look back after. I watch as he looks at Wellbelove and for a brief second, pain flashes in his expression, and is gone after because he looks away. I pity him, Wellbelove was his girlfriend for years and now she dumped him. It almost makes me want to stop toying with him by flirting with her. Actually, I do want to stop. I don't want him thinking that I want his ex-girlfriend. I want him, but he can't ever know that, no matter how much I want it.

I make my way towards the circle with Niall and Dev behind me and know he's watching. As I sit down, Wellbelove blushes and I smile at her, pitying her too as I'm not interested. I look over to Snow and smirk and watch as anger overcomes him. He's really too easy to mess with, I bet he thinks I fancy Wellbelove. The poor boy.

I talk with others while the circle fills and everyone's sitting now with the bottle in the center, and finally turn towards the people to see who's here. I see quite a lot of 8th years and but not all, guess some people decided to stay in the dorms tonight. Snow's sitting across from me, looking miserable as ever. I keep stealing small glances at him but making sure he can't see me. As I'm in the fourth one, I feel Dev nudge me from the side. I look over at him with a confused expression and he's smirking at me, obviously having caught me staring at Snow. I look away quickly, not wanting him to see the pink dusting my cheeks (I had just drained a deer before arriving at this party).

"Alright everyone, let's start the game." One of the girls says.

We play a few rounds, sometimes people of the same gender kiss, and everyone oohs and ahhs a lot, enjoying the show. Snow doesn't play, nor does Bunce, Wellbelove and me. When finally it's Wellbelove's turn to spin the bottle, Snow looks troubled, anxious to see who it would point to. I can already tell he's going to hate whoever this lands on, whether it be a girl or boy. And God forbid if it lands on him, that would be really fucking awkward.

My wish comes true, it doesn't land on him. Instead, it lands on...me. Me.

I hear the hooting of the boys and girls, but I'm so shocked that they just seem like white noise to me. This isn't right, I was just flirting with Agatha for fun. Now if we kiss, she'll definitely take that as a sign for us to get together. I don't like her, I never did. I knew she liked me and that she was gonna propose the idea of us soon, and had been preparing to turn her down. But this bottle has made things so much harder now.

I feel another nudge, and look up from the bottle to see Snow glaring at me. I can practically see the air bursting out of his ears, and his face is red with anger. Snow also knew Wellbelove liked me, he saw us holding hands the other day in the woods. I can see he's very near to going off, his magic is prickling at my skin, but he's also holding back somehow so that he doesn't make a racket. If he was angry with me then, he's livid now.

I look at Wellbelove and she's popping with victory, pride clear on her face. I think she spelled the bottle to turn to me, it's obvious she had something to do with it by the look she has on. I don't think she's even fazed that her ex-boyfriend is in the room, I think she's even more ecstatic that he'll watch her kiss someone else.

I've taken too long to think, and now everyone's chanting kiss kiss kiss like a bunch of 11-year-olds. This was a bad idea, such a bad idea. The talk with Wellbelove is going to be even harder and Snow hates me even more now. The boy I love despises me more now. But I know I can't back down, I have to do this. I mean it's just a kiss, I'll just give her a peck and pull away fast. I move forward toward her and she does too. We're on all fours, knees and hands, and she's so eager that she pulls me in from the back of my neck. I move to pull away after a second but she doesn't let go, instead, she pulls me closer and slips her tongue in my throat. The cheering grows louder. I don't like kissing her and I don't want to.

I forcefully move away this time, and as I am, I accidentally meet eyes with Snow. His face hardens and he looks like a psycho overcome by rage, his blue eyes glinting with anger. For a moment, he scares me, and I move faster. I pull away and she looks shocked, but then moves back to her side.

That was my first kiss. I've never kissed anyone before and she stole it, the witch. I didn't like the feeling at all.

We play a few more rounds, but I'm far off in my mind to pay attention. I won't even bother flirting with Wellbelove now. I'll just be blunt, serves her right for doing a despicable thing.

I'm regretting my life choices as the game finally finishes, and then we're about to start Seven Minutes In Heaven. I won't play this time, and if Wellbelove pulls something again, I'll just refuse to go in the goddamn closet with her. I won't be forced to play this bloody game with her.

Simon

I'm livid.

When the bottle landed on Baz, I was terrifyingly mad. When I looked at his face, he didn't sneer or smirk, instead, he looked a bit...upset...that it landed on him. But then I looked at Agatha, and she was overflowing with smugness. I knew. She had spelled this bottle to make it land on Baz and get me back for whatever reason. She knew I hated Baz and she didn't even care that I was in the same room, instead she spelled it to make sure that it lands on him out of all people. I'm not mad at Baz anymore, I'm mad at Agatha. I don't want her back now and I'm going to get revenge. I have the perfect way to do that too.

As we're getting ready for Seven Minutes In Heaven, the girls are writing everyone's names on slips of paper and putting them inside a hat. This game will be like that last one, meaning people of the same gender can go in the closet together. I know Agatha is gonna cheat again, so why don't I just do it?

I sneakily pick up a piece of paper when no one's looking and write Baz's name on it, and then keep it in my hand, and put my hand in my pocket. Let's see how she feels when I go in there with Baz, the guy she left me for and even cheated to get with.

As I step back, I look over at Baz again. He seems quite different now, almost bored like he wants to go home as soon as he can. I think about his expression when the bottle landed on him. He truly didn't look like he wanted to kiss her, and the rest of the game, he didn't pay attention to anything at all. Is it possible that he doesn't fancy Agatha and didn't want to kiss her?

Nah, he's probably plotting something, trying to catch me off guard. The bastard.

The game starts and Baz looks just as distant. Looks like he doesn't want to play, and keeps glancing over at Agatha and shows the tiniest hint of a glare. Does he know she pulled something? I wouldn't be surprised if he did, he's really fucking smart.

After about three rounds of the game, I can see Agatha's about to go next so I cut her off. Before she can let out a single word, I go, "I'm next" and she looks shocked, just as she did when Baz pulled away from her when they were kissing. She puts the I don't care at all, you know mask on once again but I know she's bit wary. I look at Baz and he's still not in this world. As I step forward and dip my hand (the one with the chit of paper, I made sure no one could see I was holding something) and act as if I'm pulling out a piece of paper, I have a cool look on my face. I know the paper in my hand has Baz's name on it and when I open it and say Baz, I look over to Agatha to see her reaction.

She looks stupefied, just standing still as the crowd erupts in a huge roar of hooting and cheering. She looks at me and I put on an expression of innocence. She's still horrified when people start pushing Baz my way. He finally snaps out of his dream and looks around with a confuzzled look on his face.

"What? What's happening?" he says, and I say, "I got your name in Seven Minutes In Heaven." I watch as his face contorts from one of confusion to one of bewilderment. Now, he's also stupefied, just like Agatha. He even starts stammering. Baz never stammers. He's always the one yelling at me to 'spit it out'.

The crowd takes notice of this and starts pushing us towards the walk-in closet, whilst ooh and ahh-ing their arses off. I look back at Agatha and the shocked expression has been replaced with a loathing one. She knows I cheated. But who said I cared? I throw her a smug look before getting shoved in the closet. They turn the lights off before closing the door and heading back.

We both stand there awkwardly in the dark for about 20 seconds, silence blanketing over us. Then Baz clears his voice and starts, "Listen, Snow," his tone indicates that he's gotten over his moment of shock and is now back to his senses, "Let's just wait the minutes out, they can't see us so they won't know."

I smirk in the dark. Even though Baz has seemed to found his cool again, he still seems a bit shaky and nervous.

"Well, I don't know about that that," I say as I move closer. I can just make out Baz's figure in the dark and as I take steps forward, he takes steps backward. "I mean, that would be cheating, and that's not right. Shouldn't we follow the game's rules?" I say smugly. I actually have no idea what I'm doing. My plan only intended for us to go into the closet together, but not do anything further. I just wanted Agatha to think we were doing something, to get back at her. But now, my feet and mouth are out of my control. They seem to be saying and doing the things they want, instead of listening to me.

Baz keeps moving further away until his back hits the wall. I smile triumphantly and lean over to his face until we're so close that I can feel his breath on me.

"Snow, what are you d-doing?" I chuckle darkly as I feel him shiver as I move closer to him, and by the look of his face in the dark, he doesn't seem too happy about that either.

Baz

I mentally slap myself for shivering and stuttering in front of Snow. When I was shoved in here, I had some time to comprehend this and figured that despite my shock, we wouldn't be doing anything. I mean, c'mon, Snow's a git, I'm a wanker and we both hate each other. Well, he thinks that I hate him.

I found my voice and told him to just sit it out but then he had this smirk on his face and started moving closer while saying things like we would be cheating if we did that. He has me cornered now, and once again I've lost the ability to think straight or speak. I don't dare open my mouth for fear of accidentally blurting out that I want to do something.

I still can't figure out what he means. Is he saying we should be doing this for the game? Is he toying with me? Does he want to do this? It's definitely not the last one, I know for sure. Then what's he doing?

I'm so wound up in my own thoughts and concerns that I don't notice him sneaking to my ear.

He whispers, "What needs to be done.

Then he kisses me.

I'm absolutely flabbergasted. Snow is kissing me. Snow is kissing me. Simon Snow, the boy I'm in love with, is kissing me! My eyes go back to their normal size as I push at his mouth, kissing him back with as much want as I can muster. He groans, and moves his hands to my hair, lightly tugging on a few strands near my scalp. I practically purr into his mouth at the touch and feel a light smile playing on his lips at my satisfying reaction.

Two can play at this game, I think, and move my hands to his small (A.N: smol) waist and grip it tightly, and feel content when a sigh escapes the confining walls of his mouth. We're full-on snogging now, and I'm still not in my right mind. He's doing this because of the game, isn't he? He definitely is. I mentally shrug as I decide that since this is a one-time thing, I better soak up all the Simon Snow I can. I push harder, turning him over so that he's trapped in the wall, and when he gasps because of the surprise, I slip my tongue in his mouth. He lets out a small mmh and I smile, moving my hands up to cup his cheeks and grab a portion of his bronze locks in each hand. He starts rubbing my stomach and I lean into the touch because it feels so good until-

Bam! The door flies open and suddenly I'm being ripped apart from Snow and the lights are on. I open my eyes, adjusting to the light and realize what we'd just done, eyes widening in shock and cheeks reddening in the embarrassment of being caught. I look up at Snow and see that he's the same, does eyes sparkling wide and cheeks turning an adorable shade of crimson, his freckles being flaunted and lips swollen. The hair is tousled because of when I pulled at it slightly and ran my fingers through it. In this lighting, Snow looks absolutely fucking gorgeous.

I look to the side and see a girl I passed in the hallway sometimes, and Niall and Bunce by her side, and behind them, standing at the door, everyone who was playing this stupid game gaping at us with their mouths half open. I look back and it's Dev who ripped me apart from Snow, his and Niall's face contorting into one of surprise and smugness, smirks decorating their features and a hint of mischief in their eyes. Bunce and everyone else just looks stunned by what they just witnessed the two boys who pick fights all the time in school doing.

Just as suddenly, the blanket of stunned silence is lifted and before I know it, everyone's dragging me out, howling and whistling and saying things like, "You took more than seven minutes so we got curious", "Never knew you had a thing for him, Baz", or "Someone was a bit eager there". I look over at Snow and he's also being bombarded by the people, being teased relentlessly.

We get carried out and people start the game again, but reiteratively, I can't concentrate and this time it seems like Snow can't either. I want to snog him again. I want to do all that again. And more. I want to be with him. But I can't. My chest fills with pain as I remind myself that what we did was just for the game, at least he did it for the game, even if I didn't.

Oh my God, I was probably coming off so strong on him and he probably was just messing with me. Oh no, what if he just wanted to peck me? I completely went overboard if that was the case. Oh Crowley, it's gonna be so awkward with him if that's the case. I can't face him now. I'm despicable in Snow's eyes and he hates me, he obviously just wanted a tiny kiss and I went and snogged him senseless. Aleister Crowley, he probably knows I'm in love with him now. Well, he might think I like him, but not that I'm in love with him. That's good. Oh, I was here thinking Wellbelove was going to cheat and pick me and I was going to have to humiliate myself and her in front of all these people by saying no and this is actually what happened.

Wellbelove. Wellbelove

I look around and my eyes find her. She looks as if she might kill someone. Not someone; Snow. She looks as if she might kill Snow. I was too distracted to notice her in the doorway with the other people, but now that she has my attention, I have to say I'm kind of scared. She looks terrifying like she might join forces with the Humdrum to kill Snow. I can't help but feel a twinge of amusement. She was so desperate to get me but instead, I got Snow. Ha, suck it, Wellbelove.

At the thought of him, I look around some more to find him. My eyes sweep over everyone in the bundle of 8th Years here, yet I can't seem to place him or Bunce. Did they leave already? If they're gone then why the fuck am I staying?

"Looking for your Chosen One, are you?" Dev snickers and Niall joins in from beside me. I feel myself blush, shake it off, look over at them and glare. "No, I'm not, and he's not my Chosen One. That was just a one-time thing, just for this game. And I'd rather not do it again."

"Baz, we know you're in love with him and we know you're looking for him. It's painfully obvious. But anyhow, Bunce dragged him away after you both came out. Probably asked him if he liked it and was fazed by it or not, like you." Niall retorts with a snort.

I feel myself blush harder than before, skin warming. "I was not fazed by it and didn't like it, it was just a bit enjoyable and I got carried away."

"Your burning cheeks say otherwise. Crowley, Baz, you must really like him a lot to be this red. When we tore you both apart, it looked as if you were about to explode. Never seen you like this before, and I have to say, I really like it."

I sneer at them both, but since I'm blushing, it comes out soft and they both coo. Ugh, bloody gits basking in my misery.

I spend the rest of the game pondering over Snow, whether he liked it or not. In the end, I'm sure he was traumatized by my animalistic jump on him and decide that since I've lost face in front of so many people who'll probably send this news to everyone else in school, I may as well start trying to get it back. From tomorrow on, I'll do my best to ignore Snow and this will just go back to normal. Even though I don't want it to.

After the game, I throw a tantrum and say that I want to go back. Dev and Niall just nod and keep making retorts about me and Snow, calling us Snowbaz. I tell them that I hate it and they say that I secretly love it, just like Snow. They're right. But they don't have to know that.

When I'm standing in front of my dorm, about to go in, I wonder if Snow's there and if he's asleep. He has to be, its past midnight and we have classes tomorrow (honestly these people's timings for parties are horrible). I take a deep breath, prepare myself and walk in.

Snow is awake.

He's tucked in bed, feigning sleep but the rhythm of his breathing tells otherwise. Why is he awake? Is he thinking about what happened earlier? If he is, is it bad or good in his mind? I'm too tired to stress over what he's thinking now, so I just get changed, brush my teeth and lay in bed. When I do, he's still awake. I face my back towards him and can feel his gaze burning holes through my skin, not allowing me to fall asleep peacefully.

I softly bring my hand up to my mouth, and finally, it hits. It hits hard.

I snogged Simon Snow.

Simon

Baz just came back from the party. It's kind of surprisingly really, because I figured he'd be too embarrassed to stay there after looking like he did when we got caught. Even though he's a vampire, his cheeks turned shade of red dark enough to spot from a mile away. I don't really know whether I should be saying this or not since I'm pretty sure I was even worse. And ugh everyone saw us. Now this is gonna be the talk of the whole campus and it'll be so awkward with Baz. They'll think that we fancy each other.

I don't fancy Baz.

Or...do I?

I kinda did just spend the evening snogging him, and enjoyed every bit of it. I loved how soft his hair was when I ran my fingers through it; how firm yet tender his lips were; how he gripped my waist and (probably unconsciously) rubbed circles onto it; how he loved it when I started rubbing his tummy and leaned into the touch; how he casually took dominance; how every reaction he got out of me made him grin against my lips; how soft his skin was; how he was incredibly good and knew exactly how to make me drunk off his lips even though I'm sure it was only his second time.

Aleister Crowley, do I like Baz?

I think I do. Why else would I be thinking about all this?

Although I don't think this is the first time I've thought about this. I've definitely thought about running my hands through his hair and gently caressing his face. About how his eyes are a stormy grey, a little green from the edges and contorting into a soft wet pavement colour as you go towards the center. About how he runs his hand through his hair when he's just come back from practice, and his shirt's sticking to him from the sweat, outlining every curve of his abs. About how he looks cute when he's really focused on something like homework or spells. About how his scent of cedar and bergamot makes wherever I currently am feel like home.

Fuck, I have feelings for Baz.

How did I not figure this out earlier? It explains everything now, how his presence kinda felt comfortable and how I followed him around so much in Fifth Year.

This is bad. I like Baz so now I won't be able to kill him. And he hates me.

Maybe I can get over the fact that I can't kill him. But I have feelings for Baz. According to how much I've been obsessed with him over the years and how much I loved snogging him today, I think these feelings are pretty strong, and if Baz finds out about them, he could use it against me.

Of course Baz doesn't like me, I'm his nemesis. But he was snogging me ruthlessly earlier, and—it might just be my imagination—looked a bit disappointed when we were pulled apart. But it was Seven Minutes In Heaven. It was a game. And I, myself, had suggested that we actually do something other than just cheat and wait around. He doesn't like me, he was just doing what I told him to

This is gonna end up really bad. I have tendency to wear my heart out on my sleeve but I can't let Baz find out about this. But...I'm still hesitant. No one kisses like that just for a game. Maybe I should talk to him. I should talk to Penny first though. What would I tell her? Yeah Penny, so remember the vampire that I've been obsessing over for 8 years and keep trying to get him expelled, yeah turns out I have a humongous crush on him.

Whatever, I'll just talk to her tomorrow at breakfast and ask if I should talk to Baz or not about this. That's gonna be so awkward, dear god.

But I don't have to think about that now. I can just revel in the fact that Baz is a few yards away from me, sleeping. Well, at least I think he's sleeping. I dare to open my eyes a bit, hoping to get a peek at Baz's face, but to my dismay he's turned away from me. Instead, I open my eyes fully and let them roam over his back, taking in every muscle pressing against the fabric of his shirt.

I have broader shoulders than him, but he's taller. Taller by 3 inches, the bastard. I had to purposely stand on my tiptoes when I was arguing with him.

I quietly, as not to let Baz know I'm awake, bring my hand up and lightly caress my lips. I kissed Baz. Merlin and Morgana, I kissed Baz. Wow. And I loved it. And I want to do it again, although I really doubt he would let me.

I let my sleepiness overcome my body and drift off to sleep while thinking of Baz.

chap 2, chap 3 (last chap)

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lovenotesuggestions · 5 years

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[1/6] Hi, I’d like some advice about an issue I’m having. I’m in a new relationship (3 months ldr) and having trouble controlling jealous feelings. My boyfriend has never made me feel unloved or anything like that, and maybe it’s because it’s my first relationship, but everything seems new and I’m struggling to control these new feelings I’m having. My boyfriend has this friend who’s a female. They met on a game and used to talk every day for many hours, until one day her PC broke and she

[2/6] Stopped talking to him and hanging out because of it. He got worried that she was actually ignoring him and didn’t wanna speak to him and stuff. We had known each other for about 2 months at the time, not dating, and I comforted him about it, saying that’s probably not the case etc. He got upset over this several times, I actually assumed that he liked her because of it. I kinda edged him to start the convos (because it seemed like she’s just kinda shy about it) and now they talk regularly

[3/6] Since I assumed he liked her, I actually decided not to tell him I liked him. On my own anyways. I didn’t “hide” my feelings, but I also didn’t explicitly tell them either. One day he asked me if I liked him, which I replied yes, and he said he did too and we started going out. Here’s where my problem comes in. I know that I’m jealous because I’m insecure and scared she’ll take him away. I don’t act on my jealousy because I know it’s irrational, but I can’t stop it from entering my head

[4/6] I trust him and know he won’t cheat on me, but my brain is overthinking everything. Like his friend I mentioned before doesn’t like him talking to other girls and is protective over him. Or he talks about her a lot, which is probably because they’ve been friends for a long time (a lot longer than we’ve known each other). Sometimes it feels like every day he manages to bring her up at least twice though. I want him to be able to have freedom, and hang out with his friends. I don’t want him

[5/6] To worry about talking to someone and making me jealous. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t have friends that are girls, just because I get jealous. I know that people can have platonic friendships with their preferred gender, I have lots of them. And I don’t ever want him to feel like he has to stop talking to someone he likes speaking to because of me. I’m scared. I’ve never liked anyone like this ever before in my life, and I just.. don’t want to let go of him. I don’t want to ruin

[6/6] our relationship, and suppress his freedom, just because I can’t control my emotions. Please give me some advice, I don’t know what to do regarding this and it’s kinda getting really hard to bare. Thank you.

Jealousy is a natural feeling, and it doesn’t make you a bad partner for having that feeling, especially with this being your first relationship and with the history of everything that happened. And it is a bit weird for her to be so possessive over him, especially her disliking him talking to other girls. Even a romantic partner shouldn’t be possessive over that, let alone a friend, and it’s absolutely within your rights to be uncomfortable about that.

But you’re right in not acting on these feelings, because of all the reasons you said - it’s not healthy for jealousy to get in the way of people in relationships having friends outside of that relationship.

However, that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to him about how you feel. If you explain it to him the way you explained it to me, telling him why you feel this way and being really clear that you absolutely don’t want him to stop talking to her and stop being friends, then he might be able to help reassure you. Communication is an important part of all relationships if something is bothering you - this communication advice post might be able to help you have this conversation. Telling him you feel this way isn’t the same as asking him to stop talking to this friend, or anything else along those lines - it’s just a way to find a solution to this issue that suits both of you. I think it might be a good idea to ask him to set some boundaries about her possessiveness over him, and perhaps ask if he can do things that will make you feel more secure, like reassure you, or be more affectionate towards you, or maybe talk about her to you a little less (but not stop completely). All of these are reasonable things you could ask for that won’t suppress his freedom, but might make you a bit more comfortable and help you cope with the feelings.

I hope that’s helpful, and that things improve for you soon 💕

#advice #negative /#long post #not a suggestion #i love queue #Anonymous #answered

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bastardsunlight · 3 years

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😡

😡 : Worse role play-related encounter and what advice you would give to others to avoid similar situations?

Okay so hang onto your butt ‘cause this is going to get long. ALSO heads-up there’s discussion of manipulative behavior, fictional rape/assault, and mentions of suicide.

A couple of years ago, I met this gal who wrote an OC—innocuous enough. She did sick art for her OC and it was fun to interact. I cannot recall if it was Cable or D to whom she first attached herself. We had a decent thread with D on me old blog, RadiantDecay ‘til the purge killed it. I think we picked it back up but idk…

Cable was the big one—the doozy.

So some of you know (e.g. anyone who’s written with me/read my muse sexuality/gender HC list that I have always written Cable as 100% pure grade-A home of sectional. I was very upfront about this when she clearly expressed a desire to ship with him, like, romantically.

Now, I don’t have a problem with age gap—I ship Raiden with people and he’s literally eternal so…. What I take issue with is when one muse is so very clearly WAY too immature to come close to appealing to a muse who has seen Some Shit™. Their lived experiences just cannot match up. Cable is a 50-60some time traveling gritty fuckin’ badass telepath with a giant gun and a constant headache named Wade Wilson (sometimes husband tho; depends on the day).

Turns out this gal was (probably still is) a MAJOR FC hunter. Josh Brolin (a Cable I only write peripherally) and Benicio Del Toro were her focuses (another buddy I met through her writes MCU’s collector, so there’s your Del Toro). I told her flat out Cable is gay and she was immediately lowkey hostile. She got over it though and we started writing.

Red flag much?

Thirty some odd replies in and this is shaping up a bit. We’re playing it on Providence, Cable’s island that’s made of his ship—blah blah blah—her OC has a power surge that knocks out half the computers. That was another thing about her OC. She HAD to be the strongest person in the room but also unaware of her strength except when it was interesting to the plot.

She started messaging me again about SHIPPING THEM. I said somethin’ like “he probably sees her as a daughter or granddaughter, maybe—he’s a mentor type. Also he’s still gay.” She acted like I’d never told her so I did something I rarely do and scrolled tf up, screenshotted the message, and posted it. “Yeah,” I said, “but I did.”

On another track, she decided to get into Devil May Cry. She wanted to write her OC as the reincarnation of Nero’s dead mother or something? But also wanted me to write that Vergil had raped the poor girl. Now, again, referring back to the chart, Vergil is also gay as fuck. I was also up front about this, BEFORE she whipped out the sexual assault card and even THAT I had to pry from her.

By this point our “friendship” was rocky as fuck. When I refused to write or acknowledge that, because I found it offensive, she started writing a “fuck you fic” (the channel title) in the server she named after herself and in which she gathered her “friends” (e.g. people who played characters with those FCs). I think she booted me from the server or something idk.

Anyway there was a bunch of shit and I actually DID keep screenshots from various disco conversations (which btw I NEVER do, but holy shit this was insurance), bu the culminating thing that made me run for the hills was the night she threatened suicide via voice message she straight up sent me over discord because I refused her freaky-ass rape plot. She said shit about how I called her “manipulative” (I didn’t) and how that really hurt and something about her fucking dog? Idk. She’d also mentioned at some point that a previous Cable Rper had referred to her as a “manipulative bitch”.

HMMMMMMMMMM.

I ain’t gunna post her URL or whatever, but suffice it to say, I got a hold of a mutual friend (thank god they gave me the time of day) to tell ‘em what had actually happened, ‘cause evidently the chick decided to ghost me and then tell some WILD tales with seriously doctored screenshots to her buddies in her server. They let me tell my story and trusted me on it because evidently the screenies were HELLA sus. They also shared some really uncomfortable instances of her racism and homophobia so that was neat—this friend being a queer person of non-whitery an’ all that. Nice. I recalled that when I’d mentioned I was queer meself, she’d kind of drawn back and acted REALLY goddamn strange.

So yeah, I asked this friend a final favor and I’d bugger off if they didn’t wanna deal with me: “please tell her she needs to unblock and DM me right now or I’m going to leak every fucking screenshot I have”. I was NOT happy. I just needed her to know that I knew she was lying about me and that I felt nothing but contempt for her. I told her in no uncertain terms that if I so much as got a fucking HINT that she was fucking with this mutual friend, I’d post ‘em all on a frickin’ sideblog and tag every single person with whom I KNEW she associated.

Was I gunna do it? For this friend? Hell yes. On me own, unprovoked? No. I had and still have a strict “no bullshit” policy when it comes to call outs, burn blogs, blah blah whatever. But the threat was enough to keep her worthless trap shut. See the reason I needed her to DM me was that I’d closed the convo without realizing she’d fucked off. I now have access to it—yes even today—so if you’re out there sweaty {; fuckin’ try me~

ASK THE MUN! - accepting

EDIT: a gazillion years later, but still Munday at least, I realize I didn’t answer the second half: advice to avoid similar situations. Honestly, give folks a chance, but follow your gut and do not be afraid to have extensive fucking rules. If people are scared off by a lot of reading in a hobby that requires reading, you don’t want to write with ‘em anyway. In addition, passwords (which I have) are OKAY. There are folks with “I don’t do passwords” in their rules and that’s fine, too; they’re just not going to be your writing partner. Do not bend on that. Be patient and cordial, but if your rules say “no threads without the password” don’t bend. (obvious exception is that like, mutual friends give you the all-clear on ‘em ‘cause they know this person personally duh, but otherwise stick to your guns!)

#negativity #asonedoes #not the brightest time in me life but I do stand by my decisions.#suicide #rape #assault #manipulation #there is so much more--so many more details that are gone from me head but trust and believe #she's half the reason my rules look the way they do and that I have an FAQ page #99% of the things under the 'stuff I won't do' section are things she did regularly

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