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toomuchracket · 4 months

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Mads I have this concept in my mind. I see it with d word Matty. I think beginning of the relationship, maybe Matty is supposed to be away for a couple of days so girlie is having a self maintenance night. I imagine her with her hair up to have heat less curl, self tan, maybe some pimple patches. And then Matty surprises her by coming back early, maybe she's waiting for her food, she opens the door and it's Matty. She's super embarrassed/self conscious but of course he's super chill about all of it.

this inspired me to write a lil fic! seeing it as set after candlelight, but before any d words or l words were used lol. enjoy! <3

i've been dying to meet you (d word matty x reader fluff)

the doorbell rings just as you're applying your under-eye patches. you don't rush to get it, though - the drivers know to just leave your food order at the door to your flat once you've buzzed them up. god forbid anyone sees you like this, after all, in the midst of your thursday night routine; you probably look insane, wandering around in your dressing gown and slippers, hair wrapped around a pair of tights and clipped up, face covered in sheet mask and pimple patches, respectively.

but you feel good. and you'll look good tomorrow. which is imperative, given that you’ll see your boyfriend (it still feels weird being able to say that, honestly) for the first time in 20 days.

the thought of that has you slightly giddy. humming happily, you dance through the flat towards the door, only pausing in the living room to click play on the next episode of sex and the city and have a sip of your wine. the mouthwatering scent of your dinner seeps into the hallway, growing stronger as you near the door - it's never quite been so potent before, but then again, you’re fucking starving.

still humming tunelessly, you open the door to grab your food, and come face to face with matty.

your breath catches in your throat in horror - he can't see you like this, so soon into the relationship! - but your heart swells at the sight of your boyfriend in his hoodie and sweats, your (open!) takeaway in his hands. he grins when he sees you, eyes lighting up as he takes in your appearance; you tense up in preparation of him taking the piss out of it.

he doesn't, though. “hi, baby,” matty says softly. “stole one of your prawn crackers - hope you don't mind.”

you blink. “how- how did you get up here? you didn't buzz.”

“offered to hold the door for the delivery guy and just came in after him. and then i offered to bring this up when i asked if it was for your flat and he said yeah. felt like i was 22 again, honestly, in my old job,” your boyfriend smiles. “although i can safely say i never ever delivered a takeaway to someone as hot as you back then.”

“don't make fun,” you groan, stepping to the side to let him into the flat - he kisses your temple as he passes you - and kicking the door shut. “nobody was meant to see me tonight. s'why i asked them to ring the doorbell and just leave the food without me answering.”

“i did wonder why it took you so long to get to the door, darling,” matty calls over his shoulder as he wanders into your kitchen. he furrows his brow when you walk straight past and continue into your bedroom, laying the food on the counter and following you - well, until the door closes before him. “babe? are you… annoyed at me?”

“no, i'm just putting underwear on,” comes your muffled reply, followed by the sound of a drawer opening and closing.

“don't feel you need to do that on my account, sweetheart, i insist. actually, i'm more than happy to also get naked, if you prefer.”

despite your lingering shock at seeing him, you giggle at your boyfriend’s eager tone. “no, it's alright, matty.”

“you're sure? i've already got my shirt off.”

the speed with which you open your bedroom door at that phrase is almost embarrassing. matty - shirtless, as promised - smirks when you do. “i can't believe you had no pants on when you answered the door.”

you frown, flicking him on the stomach; he just laughs and follows you into the kitchen. “shut up, i couldn't put clothes on, i had just moisturised.”

“what, your arse and all?”

“mhmm.”

“interesting,” matty smirks again. “wouldn't mind seeing that process, to be honest.”

“for fuck's sake, matthew.”

“sorry, darling, couldn't resist,” your boyfriend grins. his face softens into a more tender smile. “just missed you, s'all. hope you don't mind that i came over early and interrupted your pamper night - couldn't settle at home, knowing you were only a few miles away for the first time in weeks.”

the sweetness of his revelation goes straight to your knees; you wrap your arms around his neck to hold yourself up, and press your lips to his in a tender kiss. it deepens when matty runs his tongue across your lips, slipping it into your mouth when they open, but that's as passionate as it gets - the overwhelming emotion behind the kiss is just sheer affection.

“i missed you too,” you kiss matty's nose when you pull away. “and you're not interrupting anything, really, s'just my usual thursday night routine,” you pull the little containers of food from the bag and turn to get a plate from the cupboard. “d'you want to split this with me? i ordered too much.”

matty nods, taking the plates from you and grabbing a fork from the drawer to dish the food up. “thanks, sweetheart. so, tell me more about this thursday night thing. you do this every week?”

“yeah, whenever i'm home, just to prep for the weekend. haven't you ever noticed i always look better at work on fridays?” you grin, pouring your boyfriend a glass of wine.

“not really. i think you look beautiful every day,” matty smiles, kissing your hand after you pass him the wine. “although i have noticed your hair is usually really curly during friday meetings. i like it.”

you point to your head. “blame this.”

“serious? i thought you were going to get a blow dry after work or something.”

“nah,” you giggle. “i just go to sleep with this in. feels a bit weird, but i like the end result.”

“so do i,” matty smiles. “you're so pretty, baby.”

your cheeks burn, and you smile bashfully at the floor. “well, when i take all these weird stickers off my face, maybe.”

“no, even now,” matty gently tilts your chin up so he can look you in the eye. “you’re beautiful. my perfect girl!”

he leans down to kiss you again; you giggle as he pulls away afterwards. “oh, you're down bad bad for me, aren't you? still thinking i'm pretty even when i've got pimple patches on.”

“well, yeah, i have eyes.”

“pretty ones, at that,” you rest your hand on his jaw, and he turns to kiss it. “i'm glad you came to see me tonight. would you like to stay over?”

“if i say yes, do i get to be pampered a little bit?” matty giggles.

“oh, i'll take care of you, don’t you worry, baby.”

#mads muses #mads does writing #d word matty #matty healy fic #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks

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toomuchracket · 1 year

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i'll do anything that you wanna

(hi! sweet @brownduck and a lovely anon sent in prompts to inspire this loooooong pre-relationship flatmate!matty moment. references to 10 Things I Hate About You (if you haven't seen it, go! watch it!). enjoy!)

flatmate!matty watching girlie wistfully sigh at some cute romantic thing in a show/film she's watching and now he's determined to do that for her. This could either be right before or right after they get together

Being super normal abt the idea of movie nights with flatmate matty, maybe this instance like riiight before you two get together 💔 cuddling up together bc that’s like, a totally normal thing that friends do, him nodding off onto your shoulder or vice versa……….

matty knocks softly on your-half open bedroom door, nudging it fully open with his foot when he hears your soft "come in!". he tries to ignore the little pang of tenderness that appears in his heart when you smile at him standing in your doorway; instead, he focuses on addressing the laptop open on your knee, its artificial light illuminating your pretty face. "sorry, darlin', didn't realise you were still working. i'll leave you be."

he makes to exit, but is stopped by your sudden protests. "no, no, i'm finished for today," you say, closing the lid and lifting the computer from your shorts-clad lap. you stretch languidly, and matty's brain shuts down for a second as your cropped t-shirt rides up and exposes the bare underside of your boob. "what's up?"

once he's regained control of his brain, matty shrugs. he swears he sees your eyes flick down to quickly gaze at his bare chest, brought to prominence by the movement, but he's probably just projecting. "just wondered if you wanted to hang out, s'all. haven't really seen you much this week. missed you."

your face lights up as you beam at him. you pat the space beside you on your bed, signalling for matty to sit next to you. at first, he's quite grateful for the seat, because his knees went weak at the radiance of your smile, but then it hits him when he plonks down next to you; he's half naked in your bed, breathing in the scent of your perfume and shampoo, next to an almost as half-naked you, lying on your side and smiling at him through your eyelashes.

fuck. he's so fucked.

you shift up to a sitting position and - almost tentatively - reach across to boop matty on the nose. he wrinkles it in response, trying his best to deflect how adorable he found it, which makes you giggle and reposition his glasses for him. "you know, healy," you begin, teasingly. "for a supercool edgy rockstar, you're very cute sometimes, wanting to hang out with little old me late on a friday night."

matty can feel his cheeks go crimson, and bites his lip to stop from - what? smiling? groaning at how cute you are? kissing you there and then? he's not sure. "oi, less of the teasing. i'm trying to be nice."

"sorry. you're very sweet," you say, snuggling into his side so naturally that matty thinks he might pass out. "and i missed you too. was gonna put a film on, if you want to watch it with me."

matty experimentally leans his head to rest on your own; when you don't protest, he speaks. "that sounds nice. what film? don't say fucking twilight, i can't sit through that shite again."

"shut up, it's a masterpiece," you say indignantly, peeling yourself away from matty to rifle through the pile of dvds in the corner of your room. as much as your closeness fucks matty up, another pang in his heart appears as soon as you move from him; loss, longing, loneliness. jesus christ, he needs to get a grip. "oh! here, surely you like this one."

matty crawls forward to read the title, not noticing the way your thighs clench together at his lithe movement. "10 things i hate about you? i don't think i've ever seen it."

"WHAT?!" you press the dvd to your chest in what matty thinks might actually be genuine shock. "how have you never seen it? you've had girlfriends."

"what's that got to do with anything?"

you sigh, climbing back onto the bed and sitting on your knees in front of matty, who moves to sit on his hands so he physically cannot rest them on your almost-bare thighs as he so badly wants to. "it's a rite of passage for any girl to watch this with her boyfriend in the first few weeks of dating."

"wh-"

"don't ask me why, it just is," you begin, sighing. "but seeing as you've gotten to your big age without being shown it by the multitudes of girls who've tried and failed to cuff you..."

matty raises his eyebrows at that, but he can't exactly deny it.

"... i guess i'll have to do it." you roll your eyes dramatically, but smile that radiant smile again afterwards. "you cool with that, healy? pretending i'm your girlfriend for the 90 minutes it takes to watch this film?"

matty thinks about what he could say here. why pretend? let's make it official. i probably imagine you're my girlfriend for at least triple the amount of time it would take to watch the film every day of my life, anyway. but he doesn't. he won't. matty's so in love with you that he'd marry you tomorrow, but the thought of telling you that and you not feeling the same (which is bloody likely) terrifies him. it hurts like fuck repressing his feelings for you all the time, especially when there's reminders of you all over the flat you share - your trainers lying haphazardly by the door, your books on every flat surface available, your shampoo next to his in the shower caddy, your perfume wafting through every room and getting him higher than any drug he's ever been on - but he'd rather keep both quiet and you in his life than fuck up the dynamic and lose you forever.

so matty plays it cool. nonchalant. he shrugs, keeps his tone light, neutral facial expression. "sounds alright to me."

your smile dims a little. fuck, was he too cool with it? did he lapse into disdain? maybe - your tone is cooler when you reply with an "okay". thankfully, though, it brightens. "but that's not an excuse for you to do the old putting-the-arm-around-me-to-squeeze-my-tit move," you say, with a look so mischievous it borders on flirty.

the panging in matty's heart is replaced by fluttering - god, what he wouldn't give to have you look at him like that all the time. desperate to keep it going, he retorts with an equally mischievous phrase, pointedly ignoring the slight agony of how easily flirting with you comes to him. "fuck's sake, what's even the point of me agreeing to this then?"

your cheeks tint pink. fuck. scratch what he said about the flirty look - that's what matty wants to make you look like all the time, flustered by his affection. before he can make a cheesy joke about him really taking the boyfriend role seriously in making you blush, you respond with a statement that genuinely leaves him dumbstruck. "fine, we'll compromise: you can sit between my legs and use my tits as a headrest, okay?"

there's not even a hint of humour or sarcasm or irony in your voice. matty blinks a few times before he regains the power of speech. "you being serious?"

an earnest nod. "what kind of girlfriend would i be if i didn't let you snuggle up to me like that?"

jesus h. fucking christ alive. this might genuinely kill matty off, but why wouldn't he take such a golden opportunity? if he dies, he dies with his head on your tits - arguably a perfect way to go. "fair point, babe. alright. get the film on, then."

you hop up from the bed and run to your tv (matty tries not to focus on the way your bum jiggles in those illegally-tiny shorts you're wearing, and fails miserably). as you faff around with the dvd player, you call back to him. "there's wine under your side of the bed if you want any."

smiling to himself at the way you said "your side of the bed" so casually, matty reaches down and grabs a slightly dusty bottle of red. "fuck me, this is good shit! no wonder you've been stashing it in here, babe. are you sure you want to drink it now?"

"might as well, if we're on a date," you say with a wink, walking back to the bed and settling onto it. after wiggling around to find the best sitting angle against the headboard, you gesture to the space between your open legs. "get in, then."

"dirty," matty quips, but does as he's told, climbing between your legs and leaning back against you. a flush of contentment passes through him as he does; the two of you seem to fit together seamlessly, laser cut puzzle pieces made with the sole purpose of connecting together. "ooh, they really are comfy!"

that earns him a flick to the stomach, but you don't berate him (unbeknownst to him, because you like the feeling of him resting his head there). "ready to start watching?"

"sure, babe."

you tap the remote to start the film, matty opens the wine, and fake date night begins. you both manage to watch the film in comfortable silence - albeit interspersed with the odd chuckle, and a melancholy "oh, heath" from matty when patrick first appears onscreen - until kat is shown intently reading the bell jar, at which point matty cackles. "oh my god, she's you!"

"can't even argue with you," you giggle, taking the wine from him and taking a swig. "but shush, babe, keep watching."

how can matty be expected focus on the film, though, when you're there right next to him, all sparkling eyes and smiling lips and cheeks flushed from the booze? he makes an effort to watch it, though, because it clearly makes you happy - that, and he's actually quite enjoying it. but his eyes continue to flick to you, too, heart fluttering slightly faster every time he does.

more of the film passes, the two of you sharing wine and chatting quietly and laughing throughout. suddenly, though, you gasp and put your arms around matty, who puts his hand on your thigh comfortingly as an immediate response. he screams internally when he realises he's probably crossed the acceptable intimacy line by several hundred miles in doing that, but keeps his hand there when you don't respond, too hooked on the onscreen action to bother. "okay, we have to actually shut up now - this is the best scene in the film."

matty squints at the frankie valli song playing in the background, then at heath ledger holding a mic. "surely he isn't-"

"oh, he is." you readjust matty's head on your chest to lean forward as best you can, eyes unblinkingly focused on the screen. matty turns his gaze sideways onto your face, which settles into a dreamy expression as you wistfully sigh at patrick serenading kat. the previously-unseen longing in your eyes is crystal clear, even in the dim lamplight of your bedroom.

oh. oh.

matty fights to suppress the grin spreading itself on his face as the realisation hits him.

you find being sung to romantic.

this is good. great, even. some would say perfect, ideal, serendipitous. the very thing matty does for a living is the thing - well, at least something - that you want to be wooed by. what a fucking wonderful turn of events.

the rest of the film passes by in a blur. matty watches it, oohing and ahhing a beat after you do, but doesn't really take anything in. his brain is too preoccupied with going through the (extensive) list of love songs he knows and could sing for you - ones he's written (about you), ones he loves (because they remind him of you), ones he knows you love. so preoccupied is matty, in fact, that he doesn't realise he's now resorted to tracing patterns into your thigh with his index finger, nor that you're actively enjoying him doing so. it's only when the credits begin to roll that matty snaps out of his daydreams about singing to you, and even then it's largely due to you (reluctantly) manoeuvering his body off of your own so you can get up to turn the tv off.

once the dvd is back in its case, you turn to matty, hands on hips, adorably blinking the tiredness from your eyes. he notices, with a flush of something like satisfaction, that your t-shirt is all crinkled over your chest where his head has been. "so," you start. "how'd you find it?"

"good, yeah. interesting," matty replies, watching you as you climb back onto your bed and burrow under the duvet. he isn't lying. "that scene where heath was singing to her... that was definitely my favourite." again, not a lie.

"get under the covers, you're freezing- yeah, that's my favourite scene, too," you say, lifting the duvet up so matty can awkwardly slide under it with you. his heart flutters again as you yawn cutely, a fluttering which increases to a rave-level bass thumping when you wriggle close to him and lay your head on his chest, draping an arm across his stomach. the agreed 90 minutes of pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend is definitely over, but there's no way matty's going to protest you cuddling him for longer, not when it feels so right. "s'romantic."

"d'you think you'd like it if someone sang to you, darlin?" matty asks - it's a bit of a loaded question, but your sleepiness means you'll give an honest answer that you probably won't remember giving at all.

"mhmm", you say, clutching matty tightly as you drift off to sleep. "maybe you could..."

you're fast asleep before you can finish the sentence. matty just looks at you tenderly, his love for you practically radiating off him, and gently sweeps a stray strand of hair from your cheek. emboldened by the wine and affection, he kisses your forehead - a feather-light brush of lips against skin - before settling down to sleep himself.

sharing a bed for a night crosses the acceptable intimacy line so far it's practically on another continent, but matty couldn't care less right now. "yeah, angel, i could. i can," he whispers into your hair. "and i will, soon. i promise."

#hehehe #flatmate!matty #mads does writing #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy #the 1975 #matty x reader #mads muses #matty asks #fluff asks

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toomuchracket · 2 months

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madsss. flatemate!matty and girlie first time showering together and it’s very fluffy and somewhat smutty 🥺

combining with thinking about flatmate first bj (idk if we’ve spoken about it yet??) like he would be sooo so desperate and i cant help but imagine him a little bit subby, not too much just whining and begging because he’s wanted it for so so long and theyre just both so eager and mutually obsessed with each other and just want each other to feel good

the morning after condom-gate! after waking up and snuggling for a bit and having the "bf? gf? yeah" chat (lol), you're like "come on. wanna brush my teeth so i can kiss you again" - matty's like "hello i love you i don't give a shit about morning breath", and you're like "yeah but i also wanna shower. with you, preferably. if you want that". naturally, he's like "are you joking of course i do. never seen you naked in daylight before", and you roll your eyes and stand up (and let him find out you have a back tattoo. there's a blurb about this already somewhere) and walk away (yes you're swinging your hips a bit) and let him run after you like "fuck me you're so hot". teeth brushing happens (like in bring it on teehee), and then - after a bit of debate about how hot the water should be - you pull your boyfriend into the shower to make out with him again, and for a while it's all murmured "i love you" and gentle touches and hands in hair and all that sweet stuff. but then you realise that you're naked in a shower with an equally naked matty, and of course you get Turned On; the kiss gets deeper, and you trail your hand down his stomach to tentatively stroke him and whisper "wanna suck you off", and he CRUMBLES. like you said, he's a bit subby - he whines out a "please", and as you get on your knees he's like "oh my god oh my god", and he gasps when you kiss the we are kings tat (which you've thought about doing for like. years lol) before you take him in your mouth. because it's you doing this for him, it takes a lot for him to keep control for a while, and every time you look up at him he weakens. but he does well, considering, and he's so cute about it; he's got one hand in your hair and the other holding yours (bless), and he's proper babbling like "so fucking good, perfect girl, dreamt about this for so fucking long. fuck, sweetheart, please let me cum, please. love you, love you so much". and you keep him in your mouth until he's totally done, proudly showing him all the cum on your tongue before you swallow and giggle - he actually has to sit down on the shower floor beside you at the sight, before his legs give way, and he kisses you deeply like "thank you for that. definitively the best head i've ever had, darlin. i love you". you're like "i love you. i wanna do that again!", and matty's like "me too, but first - sit down and open your legs for me, sweetheart. your turn to feel good"... hot <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #smutty asks #flatmate!matty

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toomuchracket · 16 days

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Thinking about sweet matty making out with girlie to one of his favourite albums but he can't help himself from breaking to talk about the production and hidden references in the lyrics

oh my fucking GOD this is so him after he's made you dinner at his and you've had a glass or two of wine and he's got the vinyl on and you're on the sofa and the kissing is inevitable and it's quite honestly the best moment of his life BUT he loves this song so much that he can't help pulling away from you to be like "listen to this one line it's amazing" and you think it's adorable and smile and then he's like "alright let me kiss you again". so you keep making out, it's getting a bit sloppy, and then just as you're about to climb onto his lap he pulls away again to be like "so sorry i just need to gush about this song for a minute", and he does, and again it's really cute but also you really REALLY want to keep kissing him and you can't take your eyes off his lips so you cut him off like "baby I'M so sorry. but i just need to..." and smooch him again. maybe he tries to talk a third time, starting against your lips, but you just root your fingers in his hair and grind down on him and the words just turn into a moan as all thoughts but you leave his head lol. but you're not mean! you ask him about the album lore a couple of hours later during the post-sex cig teehee

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #office nerd au

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toomuchracket · 1 month

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Nerdy, sweet, music journo Matty is the actual dream 😍 How about girlie having to interview some notoriously hot singer and Matty feeling insecure about it since they're only just together 😔

oh he is SO flustered - frowns every time the interview is brought up, mutters "it's not THAT good" when someone in the office praises the singer's new album, and is generally just pretty grumpy about the whole thing. and as much as he's cute when he's grumpy, you love like your smiley boyf the most, so you drag him to your designated meeting spot (the stationery cupboard) the morning of the interview like "matty what on EARTH is going on? i'm worried about you. are you alright? you've been so down and i can't stand it :((", and matty just spills his guts about how hot this guy is and how hot you are and how he'll fancy you and how he's just so much cooler and more accomplished than matty which sucks because he likes you SO much and doesn't want to lose you to "an overhyped shit with stupid hair". you're like "i agree he does have shit hair. yours is much better. defo the hair i'd rather play with while watching a film together in my flat with a brew", and matty's like wait what - you kiss him and giggle like "i'd take you over him any day. honest", and matty blinks like "really?", and when you nod he smiles like "can i kiss you now? s'my favourite way to thank you. and appreciate you". of course, you agree, and then after a lovely little smooch you whisper "i think you should do my neck next. let him know i'm spoken for, perhaps?"; needless to say, matty likes that idea, and you turn up at the interview only slightly dazed an hour later with a nice little heart shaped mark under your jaw (and you leave one on matty.... somewhere, when you get back to his place after work. it's only fair!) <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #office nerd au

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toomuchracket · 4 months

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little idea for the 3rd part (in the event you decide to make one)

maybe mrs mac and ross are doing one of those cute anniversary vow renewal things. for a 5 year anniversary or something. matty and girlie both go after not seeing each other for a couple of months and they both figure out the other one has broken up with their partners. (or to make it more angsty, matty and taylor broke up but girlie is still with her bf and maybe he came with, but she still misses matty a lot.) either way maybe girlie ends up going home with matty (after breaking up with her bf if she still had one.) and he spends the whole night making it up to her (a little arguing beforehand though.)

i edited this slightly, and the making up is still yet to come... but this part has a happy ending, i promise. hope you enjoy <3

gone four weeks, part 3 (d word matty x reader angst/fluff)

the breeze lifts your hair from the nape of your neck as you check your phone one final time, just to make sure you're at the right address. it's nice, the warm early summer wind, but you quickly make your way inside the restaurant and follow the signs towards the function room and your friends.

music - billy joel, you think - spills out of your destination through the half-open door; you can see ross swaying to it with baby keir in his arms, smiling at his wife cooing at the little boy. you smile, too, speeding up and hurrying over to join them. “hi! happy anniversary, you two! you look amazing!”

mrs mac cheers when you appear, hugging you and kissing your forehead in an extremely big-sisterly way. “thank you, beautiful girl! god, look at you,” she tugs the floaty skirt of your dress gently, face wondrous. “look at this dress! gorgeous.”

“thank you, lovely. hi, ross,” you hug him quickly before diverting your attention to keir. “and hello to you, sweetheart. oh, i've missed you! well,” you grin at his parents. “i've missed all of you while i've been away, but you and your sister most of all, keir, definitely.”

“speaking of,” mrs mac scans the room, while her son giggles at you adorably. “where is eilidh?”

ross tilts his head towards the back of the room. “busy teaming up with her cousin to terrorise hann.”

you turn, giggling when you see adam sandwiched between his son and eilidh at one of the tables, the two toddlers having an animated conversation across him. he smiles and waves when he sees you, though. so does carly, half-standing with an almost empty aperol spritz in one hand; she raises her eyebrows, pointing at you and then the glass, and smiles again when you nod and mouth a “thank you”. after briefly scanning the half-full room, you turn back to the macdonalds. “nobody else here yet?”

“nah,” ross shakes his head. “surprised you're here by yourself, actually.”

“what?” your brow furrows. “but i told you nothing developed between me and mi-”

“no, no, we know that. just figured you and matty might get a lift in together, you know? since he'd have to go past yours to get here and all.”

your stomach tenses involuntarily at the mention of him. “oh. no. i haven't spoken to him in couple of weeks, actually.”

thought about him every day, though. been wracked with guilt at the memory of him crying as you drove off. cried at it yourself, too.

you dig your nails into your palm to snap yourself out of it - he'll be here soon, after all - and try to focus on what mrs mac is saying. “you fell out, or something?”

“something like that, yeah.”

“about him mugging you off and flaunting his relationship with taylor in front of you? or something else?”

did he tell them? no. he can't have. he wouldn't even tell them - his best friends - that you were together. fuck, you are so confused. you must look it, too, because she keeps speaking. “well, we all thought that after new year, you and matty might… become something.”

“especially after the body shots you did off each other,” ross interjects. you give a small smile at the memory, tinged with sadness like all of your old ones involving matty are.

“the body shots, yeah. christ,” his wife shakes her head. “but seriously - we thought he was really into you. i felt a bit blindsided when he just started seeing taylor, to be honest. didn't want you to feel like he'd led you on, you know?”

bless her. “it's not that, no,” you hug her. well, you suppose, it kind of is. but your friends don’t need to know that. “we just have, um, opposing ideas about stuff, let's say.”

ross smiles. “which is code for he was an arsehole and had a tantrum, isn't it?”

his wife sighs. “ross, the baby.”

“sorry, sorry - he was a not very nice person and had a tantrum.”

“better. thank you.”

“i was trying to be diplomatic,” you giggle, covering keir's little ears. “but yeah, basically. although, in fairness, i was a bit of a bitch to him in return.”

“you? never,” carly slots into the conversation, handing you your drink and kissing your cheek in greeting. “who's the him in question, by the way? that american boy?”

ross shakes his head. “matty. who could do with people being bitch- brutally honest with him, sometimes, actually.”

you suck air in through your teeth. “i made him cry, though.”

carly blinks in surprise, then waves insouciantly. “he's been crying a lot lately, i wouldn't worry about it.”

of course, you do. “he has?”

“yeah. moping about everywhere since he got home two weeks ago,” she sighs. “he says it isn’t the breakup with taylor, he's adamant about it, and i actually believe him. but he's definitely sad about something, something that he can't bring himself to talk about.”

shit. you take a long drink of your cocktail. and then another, for good measure.

“well, i'm sure we'll find out soon. or he'll get over it,” mrs mac shrugs. “you're all back to work next week, anyway. he'll feel better then.”

her husband and carly murmur in agreement, but you keep your mouth shut. months of international flights and hotel stays with you in tow? feeling better isn’t a likely thing for either of you. you wince at the thought.

carly notices; thankfully, she mistakes it for something else. “i know, darling, sorry for reminding you about work at a party! come on, we'll sit down and you can tell us all about what you got up to in new york.”

“yeah, ok.”

and that's exactly what you do - omitting the sections about matty and the breakup and the tears and the arguing, and doing your best to field eilidh's many questions about the horses in central park, you tell them everything. about orla's show, your apartment, taylor’s party (which stings a little, you have to admit), the shows you saw on and off-broadway, the food you ate, the people you met.

unfortunately, it's during the latter section that matty appears at the table, preceded by george and charli, who slots herself in beside you and hugs you as tight as she can without injuring eilidh on your lap. george reaches behind her to ruffle your hair and tell you how happy he is to see you. matty stays silent, diagonally opposite you, his only indication of you a curt nod which you respond to with a weak smile. you do your best to ignore him while you talk, which proves nigh on impossible; you've never been able to resist sneaking glances at him as it is, and he looks good in the slightly flowier than usual white shirt he's wearing. depressed, admittedly, but - as he does with anything and everything - somehow managing to make that look ridiculously sexy.

you can feel his eyes on you, too, but his gaze is always elsewhere whenever you look his way. and you know you shouldn't care, you know, but something inside you wonders if and hopes that he thinks you look good. it's nice to think that at least one of his opinions or thoughts about you might be a positive one.

still, matty doesn't give any indication of how he feels about you; that is, until you mention that you stopped things with michael before they could even develop, and his head shoots up to look at you so quickly you fear for his neck. “wait, really?”

you meet his eyes for the first time. something funny happens to your heart when you do. “yeah.”

“so, when you left the studio to go to that bar…” matty’s voice trails off, almost like he can't bring himself to finish the sentence.

you understand. it's a painful memory for you, too. shaking your head, you reply. “i didn't go. went back to the apartment, told him i wasn't in the headspace for the date,” you smile faintly. “or any date, actually.”

something seems to flicker in matty's eyes, an emotion you can't quite name. “and that was it? done?”

you nod.

matty nods too; he looks… satisfied. “well. i'm glad you made the right decision. for you and your wellbeing, i mean.”

“thank you,” your smile falters. “he was a bit miffed, to be honest. got quite angry over the phone, called me a selfish, cold, ungrateful… well, i won't say, because of eilidh. but i was glad i was going home the following night.”

“did he threaten you?” adam leans across to look at you, his pleasant face set into a stern expression. “he better not have.”

“no, it was just,” you look down at the table, busying yourself with fixing eilidh's pigtails and trying not to focus on the sight of matty's knuckles, white from how tightly he's holding his pint. “i didn't want to think about the fact that he was right.”

your friends clamour into conversation all at once, overlapping voices disputing your statement and reassuring you and berating michael. nothing really takes hold in your bowed head, until a specific voice cuts through. “darling, look at me, please.”

there he goes with that fucking pet name again. and there you go, reacting to it out of nothing more than muscle memory and something emotional you'd rather not address (again); your breath catches in your throat when you look up to see matty looking softly at you for the first time in months.

he smiles - really smiles - and your brain turns to mush. “those things he said… none of them are right about you, yeah? he got you all wrong. remember that, alright?”

thank fuck. thank fuck he's on the same page as you again.

you nod, smiling shyly (but genuinely) at matty. “okay,” you exhale. “now, can we please talk about something else?”

thankfully, george takes over the conversation with a mention of the next gig in dundee, and soon enough the chat devolves into ranking scottish bands from best to worst, which in turn devolves into ross having to mediate an argument between his wife and his best friend about the merits of cocteau twins and the blue nile. since you kinda-sorta made up with matty, the tension is dissipating from both your body and the atmosphere, but some of your anxiety remains; you think he might be feeling the same, because neither of you make any attempts to instigate conversation with the other. but it's better than it was - you can at least make eye contact with and smile at each other, and you're content enough with that, for the time being, at least.

eilidh, though, has other ideas. she sits bolt upright on your lap when the intro to atomic kitten's cover of the tide is high plays, wriggling - uncomfortably, but you'd never admit that to her - to sit on her knees on yours. “oh! matty?”

he leans across to his goddaughter. “yeah, bean?”

“dance with me?”

he grimaces. “to this?”

“uh huh,” her little pigtails bounce as she nods. “i like it.”

“well, alright then,” he stands, holding out a hand. “come on!”

you unclasp your hands so eilidh can climb off your knee. she grabs one of them once she's safely on the floor. “you dance too!”

your jaw drops. “me? really?”

eilidh nods very seriously. matty catches your eye and shrugs behind her.

“well, i did really like this song,” you sigh, standing up and letting the toddler pull you onto the dancefloor. “think i was about your age when it came out, actually, eilidh.”

“it's that old?” matty shakes his head. “christ. i feel ancient.”

eilidh smiles at him. “you are.”

despite the weirdness of the situation, you giggle. matty smiles knowingly at you, before turning his attention back to eilidh. “alright, miss. show us what to do, then.”

“okay!” eilidh starts doing a little toddler two-step thing that makes you and matty giggle; she grabs each of you again and frowns. “you too!”

“alright, we're doing it,” you grin, copying her and giggling again when matty does the same. “like this?”

she tilts her head exactly like her mum. “you hold hands too.”

you blanch, and open your mouth to protest - matty grabs your hand before you can, sending shockwaves up your arm to your brain. he brushes his thumb feather-lightly over your skin, and you relax immediately. “like this, bean?”

“yeah.”

“alright,” he turns to you, face placid. “you alright?”

“i'm alright,” you smile at him, then at eilidh. “means i don't have my hands free to teach you the dance from the music video, but whatever.”

matty throws his head back and laughs loudly at that; you quickly glance over at the table of your friends, all visibly dumbfounded by his change in mood. “you learnt the official choreography? at what age?”

“four, i think,” you shrug. “mum might still have the video.”

“i hope she does,” he squeezes your hand. “i bet it's adorable. you were so cute in those photos you showed me at your gran's.”

you look for the sadness in his eyes when he says that. but there's none, just… fondness. it makes you smile, lower your guard a smidge more, and reply with a joke. “cute past tense? god, i picked out the swishy dress so i'd match the most adorable person in the room and everything,” you shake eilidh’s hand, making her giggle. “but there's no catching up to you in those stakes, bean, is there?”

“nah,” eilidh shakes her head, grinning when you and matty all but collapse into giggles.

“i like the dress. it's very, well, you,” matty looks at you almost shyly; your stomach erupts into butterflies at the sight. “don’t think i'd describe you as cute, though.”

you deflate slightly. “no?

he shakes his head. “no. but i do think you're gorgeous.”

there he is.

“thank you,” your cheeks burn as you smile at him. “i think you look really handsome today, by the way. like the shirt a lot.”

“oh, thanks. got it in a vintage shop last week,” matty’s cheeks go pink, too. “you'd have liked it in there, i think.”

you nod. “maybe you can show me when we stop there for tour?” your voice is small, tentative.

he smiles, squeezing your hand again. “of course, darling. whatever you want.”

a wave of emotion washes over you at the familiar phrase - not a negative, painful one, though, rather something… reassuring. the weirdness still lingers between the two of you, but you know that your matty, the man who loved and cared for and about you so deeply, is still in there somewhere.

and, as proved seconds later, when the song changes to something slow and eilidh drops your hands with an “ugh, this is boring. daaaaaaad!” and runs off… your matty is closer to the surface than you originally thought.

he huffs out a laugh as he watches his goddaughter speed off, then turns to you. his eyes, those beautiful eyes, look at your still-conjoined hands and then trail up to meet your own. with another squeeze, he speaks. “considering she's left us out here on the dancefloor like this - shall we dance? i know you like this song, too.”

nostalgia floods your senses as you recognise the paolo nutini song playing. memories of sharing it with matty for the first time flash into your brain: the way the evening sun hit off the glass door in his living room, the welcome coolness of the concrete floor under your too-warm body, the unmistakable smell and hazy happiness from the joint the two of you passed back and forth, the adoration on matty's face as you sang and mime-played along and told him it was one of your favourites.

you zone out, lost in all of that, only coming to when matty nervously speaks again. “you can say no, of course, i just thought it might be nice. but no hard feelings if you don't want to.”

“i do,” you take his other hand comfortingly. “i just got distracted thinking about the first time i put this song on at yours.”

relief crosses matty's face, followed by wistful happiness. “that was a good day. wanted to dance with you then, too,” he blushes again. “but i was too high to move.”

you laugh. “you've got full range of movement today?”

“yeah. look,” he twirls you, grinning. “i won't let you fall.”

too late.

“right, then,” you clasp your hands behind his neck, and his slowly, tentatively make their way onto your waist; the contact sends sparks through your entire nervous system, making you stand up straighter and forcing you to look up into matty's eyes with a nervous smile. “lead the way.”

matty smiles back. “alright.”

with that, he starts to move, swaying softly from side to side, eyes still locked on yours. the old adoration is faint within them, growing as you blush and giggle nervously. “why are you looking at me like that?”

he shrugs. “can't help it. maybe you're just too gorgeous.”

“oh, stop it, please,” you hide your face in the crook of his neck on sheer instinct, and feel the terror building when you realise what you've done.

it dissipates before it even starts, though, because matty only laughs and pulls you closer to him - pulls you home. a content silence falls over both of you, both of you happy to listen to paolo and continue swaying; matty breaks it with a happy hum. “this is nice.”

“yeah.” you aren't lying.

“i miss this, you know,” matty moves his arms, so they're hugging you rather than holding you. a beat passes. “i miss you.”

your heart aches. you open your mouth to reply; matty, feeling your jaw move against his body, keeps talking before you can. “i know you'll have things to say, too, and i want to hear them, i really do, but please let me just say what i need to say first. please?”

you nod against him.

matty exhales. “thank you, darling. alright. well, first, i want to apologise,” his fingers trace little patterns into your dress, the way you know he does when he's scared. “i’ve been nothing but a cunt to you lately, and i'm truly, truly sorry for both just being that and for not realising it sooner…”

you quirk your eyebrows in agreement.

“...and i know you probably hate me, now - to be honest, i wouldn't blame you - but,” he sighs, and sniffles. “i love you. i really, really love you, darling, and i know this is going to sound silly and out of touch or whatever, because i know i made you feel like it was the opposite, but i do want you. just you, as you are, nothing else. that's my actual dream, you being with me and in love with me. always has been. i just didn't properly realise it, and i am so incredibly sorry that i thought and made you think it was anything else, and for the damage i caused in that.”

fuck. your jaw shakes as you speak, still trying to comprehend matty's words. “but you were just so adamant about the kids thing. and so quick to-”

“i know, darling, i know,” one of matty's hands comes up to stroke your hair. “i think i only reacted that way because, well, that was only my dream because i was dreaming about having them with you. so when it seemed like you were doubting it…”

“...you were scared i was going to end it, so you just, sort-of, sped up the process?”

he sighs. “yeah. it's a fucking stupid defence mechanism. but i'm working on it, in two hour-and-a-half-long sessions a week,” he laughs uncomfortably. “m'not trying to make you feel guilty, or anything, by the way. just wanna be honest with you.”

“i know, matty,” you gently pat his back. “thank you for telling me. and i'm sorry i ever made you doubt me, and worry, you know?” you sigh. “i wish i hadn't freaked out so much initially. then we wouldn't be in this mess.”

“no, darling, you were right in what you said to me in new york,” matty all but coos. “it’s a big conversation, the starting a family chat, and i did spring it on you - you weren't wrong reacting in the way you did. honest. and like i said,” he clears his throat. “that wasn't the real dream. you were - are, still. everything else is just, like, add-ons.”

you kiss his cheek, turning your head so it rests more on his chest and bringing your hand up to rest beside it. his heart is beating quite quickly, matching yours beat for beat. “it's a nice dream, though, with the add-ons. i had it recently, actually. when i got home from new york. dreamt we had a baby girl,” you say. you're so close to matty that you can see his chest tattoo through the fabric of his shirt, and you begin tracing it out of habit. “i'm not upsetting you by telling you this, am i? i can stop if you like.”

matty kisses your hair. “no. tell me about it, please.”

“well, she was perfect. your hair, my face, little chunky baby legs,” you smile, but your eyes are filling with tears. “it was so tangible i could actually feel her when i lifted her from her crib, and feel your head on my shoulder when you were talking to her and making her laugh,” your voice breaks. “and then i woke up, and neither of you were there. and it hurt. i forgot i couldn't just roll over and tell you about it excitedly; when i remembered, i couldn't stop crying. and thinking about the fact she wasn't real just made it worse,” your tears are turning matty's shirt transparent, and you do your best to compose yourself. “i love you, too, and i want you, us, again - that's basically what i'm trying to say. but i'm also trying to say that i’d happily start a family with you, if you still wanted that. i'm sorry it took me so long to realise.”

matty exhales shakily. you look up and meet his gaze, just as teary as yours. he smiles at you, though. “i want whatever you want, darling. but,” he carefully wipes the pooling tears from your lashline. “i really would like it if that baby girl from your dreams was real. at some point, that is. whenever we feel like we're ready. we can figure that out later, yeah?”

“absolutely. we'll take our time. that said, though,” you whisper, suddenly shy. “will you please, um, come home with me tonight? not like that, necessarily - i just, you know, sleep a lot better when you're beside me. haven't slept very well for the past few months, to be honest.”

he hugs you as tight as he can. “of course i will.”

#mads muses #matty asks #d word matty #angst asks #fluff asks #mads does writing #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy angst #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #eilidh #keir

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toomuchracket · 1 year

Text

masterlist

in chronological order within their au

the birthday party series (matty x reader)

all i want for christmas - fluffy, pre-dating, part of christmas75 2023

the birthday party - fluffy

the birthday (after)party - fluffy, smutty

pregnancy scare [blurb] - fluffy

queen of hearts - fluffy, part of valentine's week 2024

bday girl [drabble fic] - fluffy, suggested smut, part of The Birthday Party Project

costumes - smutty (quite!), fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

it's only been a year - fluffy

all those dreams where you're my wife - fluffy

scary movies - fluffy, suggested smut, part of promptober75 2023

you would cook, i'd do the nappies - smutty, fluffy

hot chocolate - fluffy, one mention of smut, established family, part of promptober75 2023

halloween - fluffy, established family, part of promptober75 2023

instagram au

flatmate!matty x reader

lore blurb: condom-gate (smut, fluff)

falling for you - fluffy, a teensy bit angsty, pre-relationship and pre-flatmates part of promptober75 2023

i'll do anything that you wanna - fluffy, pre-relationship

and this is how it starts - smutty, fluffy, in-relationship (day 1 of being together!!)

bonfires - fluffy, mentions of smut, in-relationship, part of promptober75 2023

promises to keep - fluffy, in relationship, part of valentine's week 2024

bday boy [drabble fic] - fluffy, suggested smut, in-relationship, part of The Birthday Party Project

snowed in - fluffy, suggested smut, part of christmas75 2023

dad!matty x reader (continuation of flatmate!universe, but can be read separately)

i'd rather jump in your bones - smutty, fluffy, parents-to-be

when i found you, much younger than you are now [drabble fic] - fluffy, includes a flatmate!matty section, ten years of self-titled focus

autumn mornings - smutty, fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

birthday surprise - fluffy, part of matty35/the birthday party project 2024

d word [daddy] matty x reader

lore blurb: introduction of d word (smut, fluff, weed lol)

meet cute - fluffy, pre-relationship, part of promptober75 2023

birthday wish - fluffy, pre-relationship, part of matty35/the birthday party project 2024

keep dreaming - smutty, solo matty, pre-relationship

home for christmas - fluffy, pre-relationship, part of christmas75 2023

candlelight - smutty (extremely it's their first time fucking), established relationship, part of promptober75 2023

i've been dying to meet you [drabble fic] - fluffy, established relationship

stupid cupid - fluffy, mentions of smut, established relationship, part of valentine's week 2024

drunk in love - smutty, fluffy

gone four weeks [drabble fic] / part 2 / part 3 - angsty, non-canon

totally wrecked - smutty (like honestly filthy), established relationship

on the bed in my room - smutty (filthy. the filthiest thing on here, actually), slightly fluffy, established relationship

you're the only thing that's going on in my mind - smutty (so smutty), mean dom matty, established relationship, pregnant reader

in front of a mirror - fluffy, established relationship, established family, part of promptober75 2023

politician matty x reader

and america likes me - smutty (quite!), established relationship

office nerd matty x reader

the if you're too shy series - part 1 (fluffy), part 2 (fluffy), part 3 (smutty, fluffy)

birthday sleepover - smutty, fluffy, part of matty35/the birthday party project 2024

matty x reader

sneaking out - smutty, slightly angsty, fwb reunion, part of promptober75 2023

dad!ross x reader

happiness - fluffy

black cat - fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

secret admirer - fluffy, part of valentine's week 2024

ross x shy gf!reader

elope with me - fluffy, part of promptober75 2023

dearly beloved - fluffy, part of valentine's week 2024

ross x girlband gf!reader

sweet touches - fluffy, ever so slightly angsty, part of promptober75 2023

my whole life, waiting for you / part 2 - angsty, fluffy

lovers' quarrel - angsty, fluffy ending, part of valentine's week 2024

sweetheart!george x reader (end of high school au)

stress relief - fluffy, in-relationship, part of promptober75 2023

love potion - fluffy, suggested smut, part of valentine's week 2024

george x reader

dancing like she way out - smutty

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