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happy74827 · 5 months

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Happy Accidents

[Todd Ingram x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: You might've broken your leg due to Todd, but that didn't mean you couldn't still have quality time together.

WC: 2672

Category: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

This was such a random plot I came up with, but I’m actually in love with it. I feel that this little one-shot is 100% Todd accurate (I say little but it’s literally 2k words lol).

Also, please don’t send the vegan police after me for my inaccuracies (lmao). Google was my only option 😭😭

『••✎••』

Spending time at the hospital wasn’t the plan you had in mind for your Friday night. You expected it with you curled up on your couch watching whatever crappy reality show that was airing with Todd by your side.

He was always the perfect person to binge with; his reactions were an endless source of sarcastic commentary. It actually made it funnier.

But you couldn't be too upset. You still had Todd, and you had… some television. Sure, it wasn’t 90 Day Fiancé, but it was better than nothing.

Usually, when it came to broken legs, you were at the hospital for two hours. Two. Hours. Not you, of course. Your boyfriend had to be a vegan and have those whacked-out powers. It was a given that there’d be an accident.

Who knew a flying amp could be so hard to catch?

At least you didn't have a concussion. The only injury was your leg, but your leg was completely messed up. Three different fractures in your femur and a torn ligament. It was the most you had ever been injured in your life, including all those times you fell off your bike or when you broke your arm in third grade.

The doctors at the hospital said that they couldn't let you leave until Monday. Surgery was also still on the table and could happen as early as tomorrow, which you definitely weren’t paying for

So, you were stuck in the hospital, eating the terrible hospital food and watching stupid television.

And the worst part about all of this was that it was slowly taking your mind off of Todd.

It was only the last couple months when the two of you started dating. Neither of you were exactly serious or anything, but you had feelings.

He was a big guy and a real sweetheart, not to mention a badass with those powers of his. It was obvious that he had a good heart, and he didn't take shit from anybody. That included you.

You had to admit that it was cute when he got jealous. He never had to worry, though. You were never interested in guys like him. You had your eye on Todd, and now you were stuck in a hospital bed because of him.

Now that it was just a memory, the moment you broke your leg was pretty comical. Envy needed a rehearsal before their band went out on tour the following week, and since you and Todd planned the night out together, you attended their quick practice.

As usual, they were awesome. You were like a little fangirl when Envy started singing. You kept your cool, though, sitting on the couch while they ran tempo and entrances. You weren't paying too much attention either, until you heard a voice and turned your head.

Lynette, the drummer, apparently had a very salty day and decided to pick fights with Envy’s ideas. She even suggested that she should learn how to write songs. That was a big no-no when it came to Envy, and it was made very clear that it would be her last comment for the day.

It was a blur, really. Envy and Lynette were throwing insults at each other, and Todd was caught in the middle of it. He was pretty bad at confrontation when it didn’t technically involve him and so he usually let it slide, but something about Lynette had pissed him off this time.

You could still remember the words he said.

"You know what I hate about you? Your hair."

You giggled, and that was your mistake. Lynette absolutely loved her hair. That haircut was her pride and joy. Todd could never understand what it was about it, but it was Lynette's favorite feature.

So, when he insulted her favorite thing in the world, she immediately started attacking your boyfriend, causing you to go over and try to stop this before it escalated.

Well, it escalated. Todd subconsciously went into “vegan mode” when he was mad. It was a defense mechanism or something like that. In any case, an accidental movement of his hand had an expensive amplifier aimed right at your leg.

Envy saw it coming and screamed his name to get his attention, but he couldn’t hear her over Lynette, and you couldn't move out of the way fast enough.

And then, everything stopped. All you felt was the excruciating pain that was apparently your broken bone, multiple places, as you later found out. Your mind went blank for a moment as all the horrified expressions of each band member turned towards you.

Todd threw the amplifier aside with his powers, profusely apologizing to you. His hair settled back down to normal as he took you in his arms.

"Oh, god, am I an idiot." He said. "I didn't mean to… oh, man, you’re okay, right?"

You were on the verge of tears when you nodded your head. The adrenaline of the moment had taken over your pain as you wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed him tight.

Envy most definitely cursed him out on your behalf. Lynette was still pissed as she stood off to the side, crossing her arms with a huff. She didn’t really know you, so she didn’t really care that you got hurt.

But Todd knew you, and he cared a whole hell of a lot about you. He was going to be making up to you for a while. You were going to get the apology of a lifetime and probably an entire chocolate cake with strawberries. You loved strawberries.

You did not care about your injury at that moment, though. The scene of Todd apologizing to you, Envy yelling derogatory words at him that were obviously unknown to him, and Lynette's head turning in the other direction was probably one of the best sights you had ever witnessed in your life.

“How’re you feeling?” Todd’s voice snapped you out of your memory. He was in the chair beside you with a hospital pillow on his lap. He had a bag of Doritos in his hand, which he was munching on.

You turned your head over to him and couldn't help but smile. It was a smile full of love and adoration, one that made Todd raise an eyebrow.

"I'm alright," you replied, reaching for the water that was by your bedside. You failed miserably, but Todd noticed it and hovered it over to your hands.

He took the opportunity to grab another chip and take a bite before looking back at you.

"You sure you're okay? I mean, you got hurt 'cause of me.”

"That's what I get for dating a badass, I guess." You laughed, shaking your head.

Todd scoffed, "That's not funny."

"It kinda is."

"Whatever." He crossed his arms and pouted a little bit. "I'll have to watch my back more now. I could have killed you."

“It’s okay. Envy would’ve reunited us if you had. She would’ve torn you a new one. I'd say you dodged a bullet there.”

As Todd munched on his Doritos, nodding along to your words, you knew there was nothing in his brain that connected what you’d just said. He was most definitely agreeing, just to agree.

And just because of that, you couldn't help but admire him. He was sitting there with his messy hair and those brown eyes of his. His clothes were wrinkled, and you could see the tiredness in his eyes, but none of it mattered to you because he was still so beautiful.

Todd being a vegan was also a blessing because it gave him such an amazing physique. He was lean but toned, his abs always visible even under his baggy shirts. Not that you cared if they were showing or not.

"Can I have a chip?” You asked him.

He turned towards you with a look of horror on his face. "You don’t like these. You like the non-vegan Doritos.”

“Aren’t they all… not vegan?”

Todd let out a sigh, his eyes rolling back.

"Not these. Spicy Sweet Chili. I got these from the vending machine. They're for me."

He sounded like a little child, which you couldn't help but laugh at. He always was so serious about these things, even though they were snacks that were meant to be shared with people.

"That's not what I asked." You said.

"Yeah, but-"

You made grabby hands at him. You were starting to feel that pain again as your muscles were getting tired. You needed those chips.

"Todd, please."

He let out a sigh, trying to hold back a smile. He was always such a big softie for you.

He handed over a bag of chips, and you wasted no time in taking one. Immediate regret as you took a bite out of the spicy snack, choking as you did so. You managed to swallow it down before taking in a drink of water to wash it all down.

"Told you that you wouldn't like them." He said with a grin.

"I… like them. I just don't like how I feel after I eat them."

"Mhmm.”

You glared at him, narrowing your eyes. "Stop being smug."

"I can't help it if I'm so cool." He winked.

He wasn't wrong, though. Todd had a very good self-esteem about himself and was never shy to tell you so. But it was the way he said it, that smug look of his and his stupid wink, that made you want to punch him and kiss him.

It was those little things.

"You know," you said as you crossed your arms, "this isn't how I planned on spending my Friday night."

"I know, babe. I know."

"I mean, I thought we were going to have some quality time. The two of us and the TV, I really wanted to catch up on that old Ed and Rose storyline.”

"I know, I know.”

"And instead, I'm here with and because of you." You glared at him as you finished your sentence.

He was ready for your attack, crossing his arms to match yours. You two were in the middle of a staring contest when Todd opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse came in at the worst possible moment to interrupt him.

"Ah, you're awake. How're you feeling?”

Unfortunately, this made Todd win the battle as you were forced to look at the nurse. She had a smile on her face, one that made you feel relaxed. Todd turned to look at her as well.

"I'm feeling better now." You said. "Thank you for asking."

The nurse nodded her head, writing down your words before turning to Todd with a smile. "Since your friend—”

“Girlfriend.” He corrected her, pointing a finger at you.

You couldn't help but laugh, turning your head to the side as you did so. Your laughter got the nurse to smile.

"I apologize. Since your girlfriend is doing better, you’re welcome to visit back in the morning. Visitation hours are from eight to twelve and one to three. After that, only family will be allowed in.”

Todd turned to look at you, and you could see that he wanted to say something, but with a simple nod from you, he leaned back in the chair with his arms crossed, giving the nurse his attention.

She gave him another smile as she looked back at you. "I’ll come back in about an hour for a checkup. Press the button if you need anything in the meantime."

"Thank you." You replied.

She left the room smiling, leaving the two of you to look at each other.

You let out a sigh as you leaned your head back on the bed, closing your eyes. Todd's eyes never left you, staring at you as you did so.

“Should've said we were married. I would've been able to stay the night here." He said.

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't be able to sleep because of your snoring. You know, that's why I get up so early in the mornings. I have no choice but to leave the bed when you're snoozing away."

Todd had the audacity to smile at that, shaking his head.

"Whatever, I don't snore. Besides, you love the way my arms feel around you."

You opened one eye, staring at him. "Are you trying to make me feel bad?"

"No. I'm just stating the facts. I have great arms if you hadn't noticed."

You scoffed at him and his bragging. You closed your eyes again.

"I hate you so much."

"I know." He said with a smirk on his face. “Can I have my chips back now? You ate almost all of them."

You handed the bag back to him without another word, sighing deeply. You could feel Todd's stare at you as he opened up the bag again.

You heard him take another chip into his mouth as he stared at you, but he was too quiet, so you knew he had something else to say.

"What?" You asked, already knowing the answer.

"You know that I meant it when I said sorry, right?"

"Of course I know, Todd. You always apologize."

He swallowed down his chips. "Yeah, but this time I really meant it. I was so scared when you got hurt. I didn’t mean to; I just got pissed at Lynette, and that all happened."

"Todd, it's okay. I know you didn't mean it. You would never hurt me."

"You're sure?" He asked.

You opened up your eyes again, looking at him. He was staring down at his lap as he said those words, biting his lip. You could tell that he was genuinely worried about this, so you reached over and made grabby hands again, but instead of the chips, you were looking for him.

Todd looked up at you and raised an eyebrow. He placed the bag of chips aside and got out of his chair, going over to the side of the bed to look at you. You placed both of your hands on either side of his neck, smiling at him.

"I'm positive. I know how much I mean to you, Todd. You don't need to worry. I'm not mad at you."

He was looking right into your eyes as you said that and nodded his head, moving closer toward you as he placed his hands on the side of the bed. You didn't want him to be too far away from you, so you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I'm just glad you're okay. I didn't mean for this to happen. I swear."

"I know." You replied. "It's not your fault."

You stared at each other for a few more moments before he leaned down and kissed you. He placed both of his hands on either side of the bed as he deepened the kiss. He didn't do this often, but when he did, he knew exactly what he was doing.

He was also extremely careful now that you had broken your leg, making sure that he wasn't putting any pressure on your side. He placed one hand on your face to hold you in place as he kissed you while his other hand supported his body.

It felt like a few minutes had passed before he broke the kiss. He leaned down and rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too."

It wasn't the first time he said it, and it definitely wasn't the first time you had said it to him, but it was the first time you heard those words without any fear in his voice. There was no worry, no hesitation, only love.

He opened his eyes, looking at you with a smile on his face. His brown eyes always captivated you, especially when he smiled.

You felt your own smile spread as you looked into those beautiful eyes of his, kissing him on the cheek before snuggling up to him.

You felt his hands wrap around your body and sighed contently. Eventually, he’d have to leave, but until then, you were going to enjoy this.

And if it came with spicy chips, then even better.

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timetravellingkitty · 3 months

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Mulan 2020 sucks lol

Written and edited by yours truly

So, Mulan 2020 happened. And I am disappointed. Seriously disappointed. It is utter garbage. I would genuinely prefer it if I watched Mulan II 5 times in a row, and that's saying something.

There is so much to talk about because this has so many issues. I don't think my brain can handle a movie as bad as this for some time. It is a disgrace to the original animated movie.

(Who cares about spoilers?)

And yes, I can and I will compare it to the original movie because it is a remake. It is totally valid to see where this fell flat and where the original succeeded. I'm not saying it has to be like the original cartoon, that is stupid. As I mentioned, it's to highlight the failures of this movie.

Besides, even if we forget the fact that it is a remake, this movie is still horrible.

INTRODUCTION

Mulan 1998 is a classic. It has great visuals, an awesome soundtrack, wonderful and compelling characters, a great message and a cool plot. It's just a great movie in general. It is an adaptation of The Ballad of Mulan, a Chinese legend. Both the legend and the animated movie are about a young girl named Mulan who disguises herself as a man to take her father's place in the army to fight back against an invasion.

As big of a success Mulan was, Chinese audiences thought some things were weird. For instance, having a dragon be a comic relief character, given that dragons are highly respected in Chinese culture. So of course, Disney decided to try another shot, claiming that they wanted to be more culturally sensitive, accurate and closer to the original ballad.

Mulan 2020 is a remake of the original animated movie, and was marketed to be more "accurate to Chinese culture and the Ballad". This claim is, of course, false, because they failed in that aspect. Say what you will about the cultural inaccuracies in Mulan 1998, but at least it was a great movie. Besides, Mulan 1998 didn't pride or market itself on being culturally accurate, the way Mulan 2020 did, so there's that.

CHANGES

I don't mind some changes. And honestly, if there's one thing I appreciate, it's that it isn't a carbon copy of the original (looking at you The Lion King 2019).

Li Shang's character is divided into two characters: Commander Tung and Mulan's love interest Honghui, apparently in light of the Me-Too movement. This is a dumb reason. Disney wasn't comfortable with a superior having a relationship with a subordinate? The hell? The romance between Shang and Mulan was only insinuated at the end, when Mulan wasn't even a part of the army anymore, so there's that. Also, Mulan gave her consent, so I don't know what they’re talking about.

Mushu isn't present in the movie. I can see why though. He contributed quite a bit to the soul of the animated version but a CGI dragon would be very distracting. Also, the director said that removed him to achieve a more realistic tone.

Grandma? No grandma. Mulan has a sister though, who only exists to mess stuff up.

The Huns are replaced with the Rourans and Shan Yu is replaced with Bori Khan.

Mushu is replaced with a phoenix, who acts as an emissary for the ancestors

There are no songs, except in the end credits, which isn't a bad thing. The instrumentals of the songs in the animated one play during some scenes (I'll talk about the music, don’t worry)

CHARACTERS

The characters in this movie are so boring. Our lead character Mulan lacks the charisma her animated counterpart had. She's utterly bland, uninteresting and poorly written. In the original, she knew she wasn't physically strong and that she couldn't solve her problems with her strength, so she used her intelligence and wit. She excelled by working hard and being strong willed and determined. This Mulan is a well rounded character.

Mulan in the live action is given Chi powers (Chi is a big part of Chinese medicine, in case you didn't know). Honestly, I wouldn't be as mad at Mulan being given superpowers, had they actually done this properly! Chi isn't like midichlorians, it's something that flows through everyone. Mulan is naturally born with dumb superpowers and has to hide them because as her dad says, " Chi is for warriors, not for daughters”. There is a problem:

It has been mentioned many times that Mulan needs to hide her superpowers otherwise she will be shunned and ostracised. Then why doesn't she get more repercussions everytime she uses her powers? The worst thing that happens is little Mulan getting looks of disgust when she uses them. On other occasions, when she is now a part of the army, she uses her powers in training and she doesn't get any backlash? What the hell?? Then why even bother in the first place?

The only way for this narrative to work is if Mulan got more repercussions for using her powers.

If I were to make the line "Chi is for warriors, not daughters," work, I would make it go something like this:

*At the end of the movie when Mulan comes home*

Dad: Didn't I tell you that Chi is for warriors, not daughters?

Mulan: "I am a daughter, but I'm a warrior too."

(Yes, I know this is similar to a scene in Avatar: The Last Airbender, but this would be better, tbh. Also, watch Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Let me compare the training montages from both movies.

In the animated one, there is an absolutely AWESOME montage of Mulan training side by side with her companions, slowly gaining their trust. She climbs the pillar with both medallions by using her wit, not by brute force. This Mulan worked hard. Besides, the fact that "I'll Make A Man Out Of You" plays over this is the only thing that makes it better (banger song, thank you Donny Osmond)

In the live-action, Mulan is supposed to lift up buckets and climb on top of a mountain. There are also other training scenes, but those aren't very important. In these scenes, she succeeds with the power of CHI. WHY? Mulan here just achieves her goal because she is oh so special. She didn't work to achieve her goal at all, because she is perfect. No struggling or development here at all.

Mulan in the animated version was more concerned about saving her father. Mulan in the 2020 version is a dumb patriot who can't even do patriotism right ("I know my place. It is my duty to fight for the kingdom and protect the Emperor") How very empowering.

In short, live-action Mulan can do no wrong. She has no flaws, no personality and no charm. Everything comes to her pretty easily, because MAGIC.

Li Shang's role in the live-action is divided between Commander Tung and Mulan's love interest Honghui, as mentioned before. Both of these characters are flat, dumb and boring. Tung exists to tell Mulan to cultivate her Chi and to train these idiots (and to offer his daughter’s hand in marriage to her, unaware that Mulan isn’t actually a guy, but eh). Honghui is there to be a stupid love interest, who gives us an “I am Spartacus” moment.

The witch is by far the most interesting character. She actually has more than one side to her, has SOME kind of depth and you can even feel sorry for her. She is supposed to serve as a foil to Mulan, given that both have similar powers. In case you've forgotten (which is something I wouldn't blame you for), she's an outcast who's now working with Bori Khan. Why is she an outcast? Because of her Chi. The witch has said many times that she could kill Bori Khan in a snap, then why doesn't she kill him? Because she needs acceptance? What the hell? She decides to pull out the whole "We're the same, you and I," stupidity to Mulan, and I can see that. It's just that the writers just didn't put much thought into it. “It’s too late for me” because you saw a woman leading an army of men? Also, why does she warn Mulan that Bori Khan is coming? Unless she's playing both sides, except her motivations aren't made clear enough for this to make sense. Finally, she dies for the dumbest reason. God, it just makes me so mad. She had so much potential, but no. They just had to mess her up.

Bori Khan? MORE LIKE BORING KHAN. Not much is there. His animated counterpart Shan Yu was scary and contributed to some of the darkest moments in the movie. This guy over here is just...nothing. That's all I have to say.

Mulan's sister is only there to mess up the meeting with the Matchmaker. What a stupid change. First off in the animated version, it's Mulan who messed up, because she isn't perfect. She fails at being stereotypically feminine AND masculine, but in the live-action, she literally pulls off a Spiderman cafeteria scene, and the blame is put on the sister. In the animated movie, this scene is groundwork for Mulan wanting to prove herself and going on a hero's journey, providing depth to her character, but in the live-action, she's perfect. What is the point? (I know this section was supposed to be about the sister, but eh). The sister doesn't provide anything else to the movie, so thanks! I hate it. Moral of the story: Girls can do anything boys can, as long as they have superpowers. If you are born special like Mulan, you can be respected, whereas if you are like the sister, you have no significance and in the end, you can just fit in and be irrelevant. Congratulations!

The live action group of guys Mulan met and befriended in the army lack the charm and comedic timing of their animated counterparts. That’s it. Seriously. I have nothing more to say about them, because they don't really have anything going on. I don't even know why they are included, because their contribution is nil, save for them blandly speaking lines from the animated version’s songs ("I don't care what she looks like, I care what she cooks like"), which is seriously cringe.

The dad is there to tell Mulan that Chi is for warriors. A shame, because I really liked the dad in the movie. He was a source of wisdom for Mulan, whose greatest honour was having her for a daughter. In the live-action, he just takes the sword that Mulan is given at the end of the movie. The mom is meh.

The emperor is also meh. At least he was wise and cool in the animated version, but here he just does bed sheet kung-fu.

Did I mention that the dynamics between the characters are unnatural, forced, awkward in a bad way and in no way indicates any chemistry between them? Oh yeah, I didn’t, until now. They don’t establish much when it comes to emotion.

Simply put, Khan (Mulan’s horse in the animated version) had more personality than all of these characters combined

PERFORMANCES

Liu Yifei as Mulan was a pretty terrible choice. She is just a block of wood, who has absolutely no range, and this isn't because of the writing. She is genuinely bad, and is regarded as one of China’s worst actors (I kid you not). She just can’t emote.

Jet Li as the emperor is meh. But hey, he doesn’t have much to do, so eh.

Jason Scott Lee as Bori Khan is fine. He doesn’t suck, but he lacks the command and authority of a character who is supposed to be intimidating, but I guess it has something to do with the writing of his character.

Donnie Yen is a martial art legend, but unfortunately, he doesn't have much range as an actor.

The best performance of this movie is that of Gong Li, who played the witch. Honestly, she is charismatic, charming and has an idea of what she is doing.

To save everyone’s time, simply put: most of the performances are bland and mediocre. Partly due to bad writing and partly due to most of the actors not being, well, good at acting.

CULTURAL AND HISTORICAL ACCURACY

So Disney went all “we like cultural and historical accuracy”, which is nice. For example, the Huns are replaced by the Rourans, a real tribe in China around the time Mulan was supposed to be alive. They also removed the hair cutting scene, because as iconic and awesome as it is, it doesn’t make sense. Chinese men wore their hair long too. You know what? I like these kinds of changes. I appreciate accuracy. If only Disney didn’t pride themselves on their accuracy when they got almost everything else wrong (They somehow got Mulan's house wrong lol). I don't know jackshit about Chinese culture so just go watch that Xiran Jay Zhao video it's very swag

THE BALLAD OF MULAN

In a surprising turn of events, this isn't accurate to the Ballad, like they had marketed it to be (I know, I’m shocked too). In a reference to the Ballad, Mulan is riding a horse and she sees two rabbits running side by side. She goes home and tells her family that she saw 2 rabbits, and she thinks that one was male and the other female, but she wasn't sure. This just misses the entire point of the Ballad.

Long story short, Mulan in the Ballad is actually a seamstress. She joined the army in her father's place. She defeats the barbarians and goes on a ten year long campaign with her friends, after which they meet the Son of Heaven (a sacred imperial title of a Chinese emperor). He offers her a high ranking position, which she refuses, because she just wants to go home. She returns home and her family welcomes her. Sometime later, her friends come to visit her, and they find out that she is actually a woman. The friends are shocked because she has been in the army for 12 years and in those 12 years, they didn't even realise that she was a woman.

Mulan then replies:

The male hare's feet hop and skip

The female hare's are muddled and fuddled

But when two hares are running side by side

How can you tell the male from the female?

Which is where the poem ends.

So, Mulan just going on, judging those rabbits like that makes absolutely no sense. The Ballad is about how no matter how different men and women look, when they live and fight amongst each other, who gives a damn about the differences? You know what would have made sense though? If Mulan got off her horse, went close to the rabbits, examined them, and then made the conclusion that one is male and the other is female. This would actually be sticking to the message of the Ballad. Also, why do they make it ambiguous as to whether she accepts the high ranking position? I assume for a sequel (yes, God save my soul). Here we can see another example of its impeccable accuracy to the Ballad.

THIS ISN'T EMOTIONAL AT ALL

Everything that made the original film good has been stripped away. Every moment that is meant to be emotional is very dull. For example, the scene where Mulan makes the decision to take her father's place in the army is supposed to be a very powerful scene. Mulan is risking it all just so her dad can be safe. She might be killed if discovered, and her family would be dishonoured.

When Mulan comes back from the Matchmaker, she has a moment of reflection while singing "Reflection". This is the beginning of her personal journey, discovering who she is. In this, after Mulan comes back from the Matchmaker, she doesn't have a moment of reflection. The army immediately shows up. Am I really supposed to believe that Mulan feels bad about this? That Mulan is really struggling?

When Mulan’s friends are singing, it suddenly shifts to the striking scene of the burnt village. This, in my opinion, is the best use of tonal whiplash. From this point on, things are getting serious, and the emotional weight of this tragedy is felt. In this, they just randomly show up at the village. There is no seriousness (stop trying to tell me this movie is adult, mature and serious, it just looks like that on the surface).

Their attempts at being emotional are poor and unconvincing, and ultimately, the end product is an emotionless, soulless, depthless entity.

THE MUSIC

The director mentioned in an interview that she didn’t add songs into the movie because it is “unrealistic to break into song when you're in war”, and I don't think I’ve heard anything more false (apart from the concept of a flat Earth). Even I, who isn't going into war anytime soon, know this is false. They instead inserted instrumentals from the original film. Except, it's very weirdly placed. The instrumental for Reflection is placed when Mulan is fighting the Rourans after she reveals herself to be a woman. Like, there isn't any context. In the end credits, they had the original song "Loyal, Brave and True" sung by Christina Aguilera, which was nice. I don't really have much to say in regards to the music. The music is overall forgettable.

THE ACTION

The action may seem weird, but this kind of martial arts is a part of the Wuxia genre, which is what they were going for. Well, they failed. The choreography is bad, the CGI is bad, EVERYTHING is bad. Honestly, if you want a good Wuxia movie, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon exists. The action is here stupid and stiff.

OTHER DUMB STUFF

Why does Mulan take her armour off before going into battle? That is just stupid. Can't you just take the bindings off? Also, WHY OPEN YOUR HAIR-

Mulan really likes kicking spears (and pointy stuff in general). Seriously. It’s weird.

The CGI is okay I guess, I don't know. The phoenix in some scenes looks pink to me. There are some pretty visuals though.

It is very obvious that there is a green screen used in the scene where Mulan and her friends find the burnt village. And it looks bad. Pretty ugly. It looks bad. The green screen looks bad.

The war strategy is just weird. I can't really say anything about it in text form because how am i supposed to describe it, help- (she literally teleported behind the bad guys in the avalanche scene-).

I like how the animated film, which had a dragon as a comic relief and other silly stuff, is more mature than this.

For what joy does Mulan get another sword from the army? Also, shame the dad is all “oh look at the values written on the sword, they are honourable” even though in the original the greatest honour was having her for a daughter.

How was Mulan even able to tell the gender of the rabbits?

Why not just try to send a warning to the Emperor that the Rourans are coming to get him?

Why does Commander Tung let Mulan lead them-

I AM SO DONE

Well, I think I have said everything I wanted to about this movie. I know I havent talked about its controversies but honestly, I am done. I am so done with this. This document took 5-6 months of my life. I am kind of proud of this, and there isn't much I have done to be proud of. I did procrastinate on this a bit, and I had stuff going on, but finally, I am done. In the future, if I remember something, I'll add it here, but I think that is unlikely. I never want to watch or even go near Mulan 2020 again. It's horrible, and there is barely anything redeemable. I hate it here. It’s been reported that a sequel is in development. If it’s true, of course I’ll watch it, how else am I supposed to validate my self hate? I am also, of course, the resident “friend who suffers for everyone else’s entertainment”. If you want a live action remake of Mulan, Mulan: Rise of a Warrior exists. Go watch it, it’s free on YouTube with subtitles. I really liked it.

If you’ve somehow made it this far, thanks for reading. I congratulate you for putting up with whatever this is. I would also like to take a moment to congratulate myself for actually committing to this. It was painful yet fun to complain about this to the best of my ability. If anyone wants to add anything to this, feel free to do so. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m out. I have lost my faith in humanity, and I have other things to complain about.

#this was written 3 years ago. are you proud of me yet #i should mention. the animated mulan is one of my favourite movies ever so 😙#rava is an artist

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mayfriend · 2 years

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canon things we know about the umbrella academy

luther used to marry viktor’s action figures at the age of eight

reginald used to watch the kids sleep and monitor their brainwaves

at some point, grace became ‘mom’ instead of ‘grace, the new nanny’ to all of the children

five was thirteen years old when he found his siblings’ bodies

klaus is the only umbrella native to the usa, coming from an amish community in pennsylvania; luther is from sweden, diego from mexico, allison from south africa, five from ireland, ben from south korea and viktor from russia

viktor cried when his siblings stepped on ants when they were children

the same kid hated oatmeal so much he killed minimum three nannies at the age of four

klaus broke his jaw when they were twelve after falling down the stairs wearing grace’s heels, and had to have it wired shut for eight weeks

grace helped the children pick out their own names

viktor realised he was trans after falling in love with sissy in the sixties

diego boxes under his comic book superhero name, the kraken, and in claire’s bedtime stories, allison calls luther his, spaceboy

diego’s preferred form of conflict resolution is a dance battle

hargreeves considered ben ‘easily manipulated’

both klaus and luther got kidnapped without any other members of their family noticing

after ben died, his family remembered him as the best of them who could do no wrong; klaus, who spent everyday with him, more accurately described him as a ‘loveable asshole’. all of them remember him as loving his family fiercely, and being the glue that kept them together

allison starred in a movie with sandra bullock

with viktor speaking russian, diego speaking spanish and ben speaking korean, it’s highly likely that hargreeves made a point to have them learn the languages their birth mothers spoke

reginald forced all the kids to read shakespeare, the odyssey in ancient greek and insisted on ballroom dancing lessons

sometime between season 1 and season 2, klaus learned how to drive

allison speaks seven languages, and five knows both ancient greek and italian

grace helped diego with his stutter

before he travelled back in time and met dave, klaus’ longest relationship was two-weeks long and primarily because he was tired of sleeping rough

ben and diego made allison’s teddy say ‘luther smells dad’s underwear’ as kids

diego told klaus that licking a battery would give him pubes when they were eight, and klaus believed him

klaus’ special training in the mausoleum was meant to make him too afraid of the ghosts to function, so reginald could control him better; reginald also killed him there at age thirteen, and possibly earlier

viktor’s violin once belonged to reginald’s late wife

diego’s ‘vigilante shit’ was a trauma response

allison was the first of the umbrellas to become a parent, and diego will be the second

ben almost certainly knew that klaus was dying and reanimating, as they spent sixteen years together after his death, and apparently never mentioned it

ben died at sixteen, and stuck around as a ghost for a further sixteen years before going into the light

it was a rule that nobody could speak at mealtimes, and they had to listen to various lectures on the radio

the children got half an hour on sundays for fun and games

the kids used to sneak out of the academy to go and get donuts at griddy’s

five used to get five stars in all of his performance reviews, although luther, hargreeves’ apparent favourite, did not

diego considered viktor’s book unforgiveable, but forgave him for ending the world in 1963 after he apologised

klaus has died fifty-six times by the age of thirty-two

ben died in something called ‘the jennifer incident’, although we still don’t know what it was or exactly how he died

luther spent four years alone on the moon; solitary confinement is considered torture by the united nations after fifteen days

luther wrote poetry on the moon, and self-harmed

diego has a fear of needles

klaus is now physically the oldest sibling, whilst five is mentally the oldest

allison rumoured either luther or patrick to love her

reginald told the kids at ben’s funeral that it was their fault he was dead

diego and klaus used to huff paint as teenagers

five spent somewhere between forty and forty-four years in the apocalypse; his contract with the commission was for five years, and we know he broke it before it was complete

as an old man, five had a moustache

luther, five and klaus all have problems with substance abuse

five and viktor were best friends growing up, as were allison and luther

luther got allison a locket with ‘A + L’ engraved on it when they were teenagers

allison rumoured herself onto a soccer team at one point, despite being homeschooled

luther wanted to go to summer camp, but reginald told him he would never go

none of his siblings know that diego shut grace down in season 1

five singlehandedly invented the formula for time travel

luther fell for the nigerian prince scam

#tua #tua spoilers #im making this more for myself and my own reference than anything (fic writing) but i thought it'd be interesting to share as well #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #number five #ben hargreeves #viktor hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #grace hargreeves #i know these are all out of order but im writing them as i remember them #ref

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moodymisty · 4 months

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Hello, Mortarion simp club member #7 here. First off, sorry for the fungus.

Secondly, imagine word getting to The Emperor that Mortarion had found a partner. None of the primarchs ever got married (except for Fulgrim) so I’d imagine it’d be big news. To find out that any of his sons, let alone shit-bag himself, found someone to love would shake him to his core.

Now, I am a very small woman so it might just be projecting, but just imagining The Emperor of Mankind staring you down and shaking his head like,

“This is inhumane. It’s almost comical, how absurd this is. How have you not been ripped in half, or accidentally crushed underfoot?”

I know deep in my soul that Morty would be the most gentle of the primarchs because he’s never had anyone be gentle with him before. That man would start sobbing immediately if he so much as accidentally bumped into you. Full on ‘please don’t leave me’ breakdown if he hurts you in any way.

The fungus is amungus.

Honestly given the way that the Emperor thinks of Mortarion as sort of a failure among his 'sons', and has just abandoned any possibility of him achieving greatness, him accomplishing something so 'odd' would definitely get a query or two. This behavior sounds more like Sanguinius or Fulgrim, not Mortarion.

Also the Emperor saying that it's 'inhumane' fucking killed me. I don't know why him saying that in response to one of the Primarchs picking up a lover is so fucking funny but also kind of accurate? I mean, pulling a normal human into what is basically a small pantheon of demigods isn't exactly a good idea. Not to mention the dangers involved that you could go on about for hours. Both being around and with a Primarch. It's less that The Emperor would ever care about a singular human, but he more so just finds the absurdity of it, amusing. Or as amusing as someone like him can.

I definitely think out of all the (future) heretic Primarchs, Mortarion, Fulgrim, Magnus, and Lorgar would probably both be the most gentle. He's also horrifically damaged (which Primarch isn't lmao) and has a slew of self image issues. He might not cry, but he'll sure as hell give you the stars as long as you don't drop to the wayside like everyone else in his life. You're the figurative jewel of his eye, and nothing will take you away from him.

He loves you, you love him, it's awful and harmful and will probably end terribly but damn does it taste good.

Also, a snippet to go with this. Enjoy.

Mortarion/Fem!Reader, No extreme warnings apart from typical 40kness and hinting at a toxic, obsessive relationship. I'm actually really coming around to liking Morty, if I never get a chance I really want to write some of my personal ideas for him

That meeting still lingers on your mind. You look out the window and wring your hands, trying to figure out why your heart continues to pound so hard against your chest. When it doesn't stop, you sit down and fail to try and stop your mind from running it through once again.

You met The Emperor.

You met the father- or simply creator as some of the Primarchs refer to him- to the Primarch you could possibly call your beloved.

It had been a surprise meeting; You were already so worn and tired from speaking to Primarch Fulgrim, shoulders tense and mind strained. While you might be close to Mortarion, being in the presence of Primarchs is still such an intense and formal ordeal, that forces you to carefully watch your words, your tone, your body language.

Just as The Phoenician seemed to be getting bored of you, as you kept politely avoiding giving him any worthwhile and intimate details about Mortarion, The Emperor had apparently come to see the lover of his fourteenth son; The first of them to ever take someone that could be potentially called a consort. It has been the rumor of the palace for days now, and it's seems to have spread now even to the Golden Throne.

He only ever spoke one sentence to you. And it will likely remain the only one. You would delude yourself into thinking that you have any business with The Emperor, beyond what little falls from Mortarion's lips. Either way, his words and voice with stay within your mind for as long as you live.

He looked down on you, barely able to reach his hips, and almost seemed to sigh. As much as a man such as him could. When you dared look at him, seeing any emotion on a man so borderline ethereal seemed so out of place. Though it was only there for a moment, and then his expression turned to that non-emotion of cold stoicism.

"I should not be surprised, to see he chose someone so small they cannot think to stand against him."

You decided to keep your head respectfully bowed in his presence, but you can't help but furrow your brow ever the slightest at his cryptic speech.

"You fraternize with the most fractured of all my sons. Do be careful with him."

Did he mean to be careful around him? Or to be careful with him? How could someone that in the grandness of things, as insignificant as you, be able to do either?

You pull yourself from being lost in your own thoughts and look out over the palace skyline, seeing nothing but golden peaks as far as the eye can see. It's inconceivable in size, that just viewing it doesn't give even the slightest hint as to it's sheer scale. And from what little you've heard, it's not even close to it's completion. New Praetorian Rogal Dorn has been continuing it's construction for years now, and will likely continue for decades more.

The soft sound of a door opening forces you to look towards it. Mortarion enters, and instantly comes closer. You haven't seen him since you had first encountered Fulgrim. You assume he had more urgent matters than batting away his fellow Primarchs away from the new thing of interest.

Your face softens as he comes closer, seeing his shoulders rolled forward slightly. The way he looks is a dead giveaway that he is in a terrible mood; Not uncommon whenever his so called brothers are involved. You assume that he is going to want a moment alone, and get up to take your leave. You'd heard nothing but his lamenting about hating the idea of returning to Terra for days now, but it seems you're wrong.

Before you have a chance to step away and leave the massive room that serves as the most private of his chambers, Mortarion quickly snatches your arm at the wrist. Though given the size of his hand in comparison to yours, his hand grasps a significant portion of your forearm.

"Do not leave."

You look at him, the way his grey hair shadows his thin face, and how he seems even more drained of energy. He towers over you, but yet he seems almost ungainly and defeated.

The Pale King orders you, but his words are almost dipped in something you might consider calling desperation.

He has told you before that interacting with his fellow Primarchs and The Emperor foremost is something he hates most. That it all reminds him of stolen revenge and his dead world, how he's overcast by the shadows of men like Sanguinius and Horus. You knew he would be more fragile, harder to deal with, but you didn't expect him to seem almost, humiliated. You're used to him being impossible to contend with, spiteful, hateful, angry; Not this.

His hand grips tighter when you don't immediately come back, enough that it begins to hurt. You sit back down and he lets go, only to cup his hand tightly around your jaw. He tilts your head up to look at him. It hurts your neck a bit from the intense angle, and your much smaller hands grip his wrist to try and gain leverage.

You watch his eyes glance over your face, his own slum and demoralized. His grip on your face softens just a bit so he isn't yanking you around like some sort of doll. At least not as much.

He sighs, and leans down enough so that his forehead touches yours, long strands of limp grey hair brushing against your face, and nothing more is said.

#I put sons in quotes because Emps has made it very clear that he does not see them as his children let alone as anything more than tools #mortarion simp club meetup #mortarion x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer 40k x reader #reader insert #reader #mywriting

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drsunshinestapeworms · 6 months

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I think in a lot fanfic's with Paul danos variation of the riddler, he is heavily misinterpreted when it comes to his violence. Don't get me wrong I love the "I'll kill for them " trope in fiction but I just don't see that in Edward or at least I don't see it in the way it's usually written.

I read this fic a while back where after Mc gets kidnapped and eventually saved by the batman Edward in the heat of the moment Edward chases down the guy's and kills them with a hammer. Which to me kind of negates some key point of Edwards character.

In the first scene of the batman, when we watch the riddler kill the mayor, it's apparent that though the action is planned out to every detail, the execution is rather messy. One the riddler jumps and strikes mayor Lewis, he goes down with him and scurried to get back up. hitting him over and over until Edward knows for sure there are too many injuries for the mayor to still be alive . This shows he's inexperienced in the physical since. No matter how accurate a plan is, execution is always harder, especially when you are a amateur.

When the riddler gets on top of the mayor to duck tape him and set his plan into motion, I like to account for the body language in the scene. The riddler leans back, takes a breath, and moves considerably slower than one would think in a situation like this.

Antitdotes from people who claim to have killed someone. They often liken the after affects to a draining feeling. You aimed the gun and pulled the trigger, and yet it feels like you just ran a marathon. It's possible this scene Edward is also experiencing the same feeling.

Some can also view this detail of the scene as Edward taking a kind of pleasure in the act of killing someone he feels personally wronged him.

But I think it is a mixture of both. Edward is basking in the euphoric bliss of living out his brutal fantasy while also recovering form the rush of killing the mayor of gotham city.

All of these signs point to a first-time killer or at least( to those who read the comics) the first time killing someone directly.

Back to the point, I just don't see Edward as the kind of villain that can, in the heat of the moment, take a life. Honestly, I think if he tried, he'd get his shit rocked.

the heat of the moment, the crime of passion M.O. also clashes with the fundamentals of his character. The riddler is a premeditatal killer planning every detail, analyzing the outcome he wants to know his oponits next move in order for this puppet master power fantasy Edward has of himself or rather has of the riddler.

I'm not trying to tell anybody how to enjoy anything. If the whole "I'll kill anyone who touches you" dynamic is your yum, you should enjoy that. I think it's actually very fitting when it's done well. But I would like to read some where his insanity is approached with a bit more subtlety

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#dano riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #the batman 2022 #riddler #written in the night edited by morning

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random-iz-stuff · 1 year

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TRYING TO ESTIMATE HOW STRONG ZIM IS (and also how much he weighs because that’s essential in figuring out how much he can lift):

Alright so in the comics it’s confirmed that Zim can lift over three times his body weight.

So if we figure out Zim’s weight, we can easily figure out his lifting strength.

So I tried to do just that. It’s not perfect as I had to use some headcanons and guess some of the more impossible to find information, but it does work.

I actually did this once before on a post about a Crossover between Invader Zim and Punch Out, but I didn’t go fully into detail and just wildly guessed several of the weight statistics because I had no idea how to find the weight of things like Zim’s PAK.

First, figuring out Zim’s height. I already headcanon that he’s 4’8, but just to make sure that this is as accurate as possible I looked up the average height of a human twelve year old (as Zim is near identical in height to his twelve year old classmates) and what do you know i got an average height of 4’7, which is close enough to my original headcanon that I just used my headcanon estimate of 4’8 anyways.

So Zim is 4’8 now.

Then I looked up the average weight for a twelve year old of similar size and got answers ranging from 66.8 pounds as the lightest answer and 93.6 pounds as the heaviest. Averaging those together gives you a weight of 80.2 pounds.

Meaning that Zim’s weighs 80.2 pounds, right?

WRONG.

Because Zim has two major factors that also affect how much he weighs. His PAK and Spinal Implants that connect the PAK to his body. We need to estimate the weight of those things as well.

So I went and got this image off of google:

This is a picture of a height measuring thing that you strap to your wall. Most importantly, it can be used to more accurately measure Zim and his PAK.

So I did just that through the use of photoshop, lining up Zim with the 4’8 mark on the ruler.

And after properly lining everything up, I measured his PAK

Using multiple pictures (not just the one on screen) I found that Zim’s PAK is about 1.5 feet tall, 1.5 feet wide and sticks approximately 0.75 feet out from Zim’s body. I say approximately because I couldn’t for the life of me find a good picture of Zim sideways that shows his PAK in a properly measurable way so the 0.75 metric may be somewhat off.

(Interesting enough, Zim’s PAK LOOKS like it’s not perfectly circular, but it still measures perfectly 1.5 feet lengthwise and 1.5 feet widthways. Maybe it’s been perfectly circular this whole time and my eyes are just weird. In fact, that’s probably it.)

But that’s not all we need to consider here. We need to think about the material that PAKs are made of. PAKs are obviously made out of alien metal that we can’t calculate the weight of, but be can come close to what it MIGHT be made of using some reasoning and averages.

I picked two different metals and did the measurement for finding the PAK’s weight with both of them, then averaged the two together to get the final weight. For those metals, I went with the two most possible answers for what Zim’s PAK could be constructed of if it were made of real earth metals: Titanium and Aluminum.

I chose titanium because it’s an extremely strong and (apparently) somewhat lightweight material that something like a PAK would likely be made of. I also chose it because titanium is the go-to strong cartoon metal that Irken PAKs would probably be made of from a meta perspective. If you want a strong metal that can be used for basically anything in a cartoon, you either pick titanium or make up a whole new metal.

I chose aluminum for two main reasons: it’s light and it’s extremely common. In order for any living being to carry around a heavy duty metal backpack 24/7 without spinal damage, it would realistically need to as light as possible. Aluminum is extremely light and is extremely common in the construction of basically everything. Realistically, if an Irken PAK was made by humans, it would probably be made primarily out of a metal like aluminum.

I hope that by averaging between the heavy duty strength of titanium and the lightweightness of aluminum, I can replicate the weight of Irken PAK metal, which we see in the show is extremely strong yet lightweight.

So I did the math via an online metal aloy weight calculator and:

If an Irken PAK was made purely of titanium, it would weigh 466.6 Pounds.

If an Irken PAK was made purely of aluminum, it would weigh 282.9 Pounds.

That’s lot a weight, but that’s not how much Zim’s PAK would actually weigh. Keep in mind that this is if the PAK was made PURELY of titanium or aluminum. It’s the weight of a PAK-shaped block of pure titanium/aluminum, not the actual weight of the PAK.

So to calculate the real weight of the PAK, I instead calculated the weight of a titanium/aluminum SHEET that represents the metal shell of the PAK, with the weight of the computers and technology inside it coming afterwards.

I assumed that this metal shell would be around one quarter-inch thick because that’s a decently thick sheet of steel that seems realistic enough to work given how Irken PAK’s are extremely vital to the Irken’s life and it makes sense that they would have a decently thick shell to protect the delicate equipment inside. They’d need to be able to protect from a large amount of physical damage and a quarter inch of metal seems good in that regard.

So:

PAK Shell Dimensions: 1.5 feet height, 1.5 feet length, 0.25 inch width.

Results:

Titanium shell: 12.96 Pounds

Aluminum shell: 8.262 Pounds

Average those two results together and you get a weight of 10.6 pounds for the shell.

Then I searched for the average weight of a powerful computer (I got 40 pounds as my answer) and added 10 to replicate the weight of the PAK’s computer and life support systems (the 40 Pounds) combined with all the tools, weapons and PAK legs that the PAK contains (the extra 10 pounds)

Giving Zim’s PAK a final weight of 60.6 pounds. (To be honest, an Irken PAK weighing 60 pounds doesn’t actually seem that far fetched or unrealistic.)

And finally, we need the weight of Zim’s spinal implants. A big technologically advanced metal plate in Zim’s back that help his PAK connect to his body without any problems.

To find the weight of these things I measured a portion of Zim’s back around where his PAK connects to his back and got these statistics:

1.3 ft back height

1 ft back width

0.33 inch implant thickness (just like the PAK shell thickness, I had to guess and go with what feels right for this)

So I plugged all of that in and I got this:

14.98 Pounds (Titanium)

9.884 Pounds (Aluminum)

Average those together to get a final weight for the Spinal Implants of of 12.4 pounds.

So finally, Zim’s weight and from that, his strength.

80.2 + 60.6 + 12.4 = 153.2.

Zim weighs approximately 153.2 pounds.

(For some context, that’s close to the average weight of an adult human man.)

By multiplying Zim’s weight by 3, we get how many pounds he can lift.

153.2 X 3 = 459.6.

So Zim can lift up to 459.6 pounds. Except not really because in the comics it’s mentioned that Zim 77 (the Zim we see lifting three times his body weight) is limited by an injury and can ONLY lift three times his body weight, with this incredible feat of strength actually being WEAK by Zim’s standards.

Since we never have an upper limit stated in canon, I headcanon that Irkens can lift four times their body weight so we’ll use that.

153.2 X 4 = 612.8

Zim can lift up to 612.8 pounds.

But there’s one last purely headcanon-based thing I want to calculate. I headcanon that Irk has twice the gravity as Earth, so Zim is twice as strong on Earth as he is one Irk. Irken PAKs contain technology that adjust how the body and its muscles are affected by gravity to counteract this so Zim’s lifting strength on Earth is still usually 612.8 pounds, but Zim can shut off his gravitational adjusters with a basic mental command to his PAK.

So for Zim’s TRUE (in my eyes) strength (on Earth), we take that 612.8 pounds and multiply it by 2, giving us a whopping 1225.6 pounds.

ZIM CAN LIFT UP TO 1225.6 POUNDS IN EARTH’S GRAVITY.

Summary under the cut:

Zim Physical Statistics [estimation]:

Height: 4’8

Weight: 153.2 pounds (Body and spinal implants weigh a combined 92.6 pounds and the PAK weighs 60.6 pounds)

Lifting Strength (Irk Gravity): 612.8 pounds

Lifting Strength (Earth Gravity): 1225.6 pounds

Conclusion: Zim stronk

#invader zim #headcanons #zim #feat: a LOT of math #this took all day and I don’t regret any of it because I had a good time with this

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mysticcollectionbee · 7 months

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Loki Season 2 Ep. 1 Thoughts:

(Heavy Spoilers)

Ok so I have a lot of thoughts and are basically all over the place so I'm gonna be putting in them in somewhat chronological order (Unlike Loki's current situation hehe)

They really HAD to put more of Loki's heartbreak over Mobius not recognizing him? Loki creators probably: "I know we're gonna bring the duo back but let's make 'em suffer just a bit more in the beginning".

I know others have covered this but also want to spread this headcanon/theory: Even though past Mobius doesn't know Loki ,and probably got his memory erased afterwards, It's still an interesting theory that maybe his interactions with Loki then might have somehow stuck with him and made him want to look into Loki a bit later.

Miss Minutes is with Ravonna right? I feel likeMinutes is probably the only tool/weapon that might give the former judge some leverage.

Casey! Casey not just being a comedic guy but actually a massive help is really nice. He (Present Casey) immediately saw Loki in pain/trouble and decided to help him without much question.

So...X-5 and D-90 weren't what I was expecting, they're kinda switched actually from what I was expecting. I thought X-5 would be a friend to Mobius and kinda con-artist and D-90 was a massive jerk who would side with Ravonna...But hey, I'm all for D-90's redemption.

New Judge is great. Screw Ravonna!...Where's Ravonna?

Apparently she was in on HWR's plan from the beginning...Guess she is a big bad after all. Also, why was she so great to HWR? Like in the comics they were couple but things seem to have taken a different turn in the MCU.

Look, I get it if you don't ship Lokius but...You have to admit was really nice to see Loki get some support from Mobius (And B-15, don't forget her stopping Ass-5) and then Mobius trying to calm/ground Loki while the poor dude is really going through it. AND even later, Loki and Mobius trying to make the other calm down and not to worry about their problems.

IF you do ship Lokius. We're either getting fed well or being clowned upon. Either way, let me just enjoy these two for a bit.

Why has no one talked about the weird fact that O.B.'s memory doesn't seem to have been erased but Mobius' has? Also, is O.B. like a TVA secret? Why the hell is no one in the TVA visiting him! How is he able to keep track of time in the TVA?!

Ok so that guidebook O.B. made, Loki still has it right? Like in a trailer clip he is flipping through an orange book, that's the guidebook right?

I love how Mobius is still thinking about whether he'll lose his skin or not till the very last minute lol. We know he's always was gonna pick saving Loki no matter what, but you'd totally still be worried about the skin thing.

I think Loki was pruned by either Future Sylvie or Future Loki. I think Future Loki and Sylvie came up with a plan to make sure Present Loki got pruned and survived. Also...Sylvie growing out her hair to have 50/50 hair colors is making me more of Bi idiot than usual.

While I enjoy the comparison to the Sam/Bucky roll to Lokius I think there is a key difference: FaTWS played this for comedy while this was played for relief that the characters are ok. And Sam immediately told bucky to get off while Loki probably just thought Mobius's suit was too heavy. (Yes, I'm wearing clown makeup, what about it.)

Finally, And I know how controversial this is: I don't think Loki is looking for Sylvie for romantic reason (OR more accurately, not the sole reason). She is literally about to be hunted down and probably killed and was the last one to see what happened in the Citadel. Even if he did feel betrayed by her, he still would probably want to save her.

#mcu #marvel #loki #loki season 2 #loki spoilers #theory #shitpost kinda #thoughts #headcanon #lokius

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strawberry-spectre · 8 months

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rereading the comic 'I Only Have Eye for You' and the summary has made me realise just how stealthy and cunning Valentine really is.

in the summary for the comic he is described as a 'shadowy figure' which means he must've been really quiet, agile and practiced to be able to constantly sneak in and out of so many different situations.

and in chapter 'Bull's Eye', he drops a packet of gummi worms right in front of Manny and the others without them noticing and he without a trace is really impressive

also in 'Locketness Monster', Gil sees Valentine leave a purple shell on his beach towel and either Valentine put on a convincing disguise or Gil is just stupid as hell (i hate gil) bc Gil didnt recognise him. apparently Valentine got the magical purple shell from a sea witch??? theres that

and Valentine somehow got Cleo's dad's number and was able to have a conversation with him pretending (implied?) to be Deuce which means he was able to accurately mimic Deuce's speech manners and voice

so, in conclusion, i just really like him

ALSO VALENTINE'S MOTHER TOLD HIM THAT HIS ONLY STRENGTH WAS RUINING LOVE AND HE SHOULD STICK TO THAT???? WHAT KIND OF PARENTING IS THAT I MEAN GIRLIE YOUR SON WENT THROUGH A CRISIS AND AN HALF BECAUSE OF HIS TOXIC MINDSET ABOUT LOVE AND YOU'RE JUST LIKE 'yeah no son, keep being toxic thats the only thing you're good at' LIKE EXCUSE YOU KEEP YOUR FILTHY COMMENTS AWAY FROM VALENTINE

#monster high #kieran valentine #lagoona blue #cleo de nile #manny taur #i hate valentine's mother

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lottiesalotl · 6 months

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I haven't even watched the Titans show yet, but I've seen enough scenes on pinterest to know this Starfire is more accurate to the one in the COMICS, like her personality and hair, and people were and apparently still are mad that she doesn't have the same outfits as in the comics? Men hate when woman superheroes aren't designed to look "sexy" huh? Just like how some men were mad about how Captain Marvel looked in the movies (like Carol as Miss Marvel, just saying Captain cause that's what they said). I believe people were even mad about Wonder Woman not being "sexy" enough too? It's a live action, it's supposed to look like REAL LIFE! And come on, I thought we were done being mad that woman characters in media are "too covered up" or something. Titans is also literally rated MA, you can't compare it to Teen Titans and Teen Titans Go, cartoons geared more towards children. STARFIRE WAS ALWAYS THIS GIRLBOSS LEADER IN THE OLDER COMICS, THATS THE STARFIRE THEY CHOSE TO PORTRAY!

Also, I literally saw someone say "she's just not that attractive" about this Starfire.

#teen titans #dc titans #dc comics #starfire #comics

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 10 months

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I had to look this up because I dont usually read comics (I really want to tho) but apparently in Hal Jordan And The Green Lantern Corps #28, Hal almost entered the speedforce.

I was wondering if he ever told Barry or Wally or any speedster.... Or anyone for that matter that he almost did?

(You might be asking yourself why im asking a flash fan a GL question? Its because, if he didnt, I want to know how the flashfam would react to that and given the fact that you know the family so well, I feel like youd be giving their reactions justice)

(Cant believe Im saying this but I learned about this through a halbarry fanfic where Hal tells Barry about that and Barry has a mini heart attack)

Hmm, off the top of my head I can't remember Hal telling any speedsters about that or any speedsters talking about that in general. So I don't think Hal has spoken about this to them in a comic.

However, if Hal did tell Barry about this it would be fairly accurate to say that Barry would have a heart attack. So hats off to whoever wrote that fic, that is extremely accurate.

It's actually not unheard of for non-speedsters to go into the speedforce. It's actually so common that there is a mini city inside the speedforce and there are several plants, animals, people and machines stuck in there.

This is because the bolt of lightning that struck Barry wasn't really that unusual. Barry forming a connection with the speedforce and developing superspeed was the unusual part. But there are several documented cases of the speedforce attempting to form a connection, failing, and either exploding/killing everything in the area or sucking everything into the speedforce instead.

(This is like a once every 50 years kinda thing but it adds up when you remember that the speedforce encompasses all of time)

So, yeah. Not super strange to enter the speedforce. The speedforce is always looking to make new connections. The real danger lies in what would have happened to Hal.

Falling into the speedforce as a non-speedster is like falling into the middle of the ocean without knowing how to swim. There's a chance you could find a floatation device or a friendly dolphin to grab onto, but it's an extremely slim chance. The most likely result is death.

Keep in mind that most speedsters don't even survive the speedforce.

(the risk also depends on what 'level' of the speedforce but that's a whole different thing)

And then, even if Hal did miraculously survive, he wouldn't be able to escape without the help of a speedster. Only highly skilled and extremely powerful speedsters with strong lightning rods can escape the tight grip of the speedforce.

Anyone can enter the speedforce, few survive it and only speedsters can leave.

#dc #dc comics #the flash #barry allen #hal jordan #green lantern #Barry would flip the fuck out. straight up panic attack. because that'd almost certainly be a death sentence for Hal #even if he lived he would probably go insane from the lack of linear time and itd be extremely difficult for Barry to rescue him #so yeah Barry would be U P S E T

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wwwwaaaaazzzzzaaaapppp · 3 months

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Hopefully making this post will help me find more people in my situation, so here’s my TV adventure of me being forced to watch shows only with actors that I am familiar with. This all started about 2 years ago when I started watching the Afterparty a hilarious mystery show that I will forever love, this show introduced me to the actor Ben Schwartz I loved his character he was funny he was very interesting as *SPOILER* the villain and I wanted to watch more stuff with this actor.

This was when TikTok introduced me to Rise of The TMNT. I remembered seeing a comic of the show when I was younger so I was already intrigued during this time my parents had also decided to start watching Our Flag Means Death as a family during dinner and I was super thrown off when I found out that the lead actor in OFMD Rhys Darby played one of the main villains in ROTTMNT and it was really cool and I found it intriguing.

Just to quickly say this might become a little out of order because my brain struggles with keeping 3 years perfectly accurate in my brain.

Later on after finishing both of these shows I then watched the I think sitcom (if that is the accurate way to describe it) Fresh Off The Boat with my mom because I kept seeing clips of it on TikTok and it looked really good and I was completely shocked when Rhys Darby randomly ended up playing a character in an episode in the show the main focus is a family moving to Florida and if you watch the show you will know that there is a son in this family named Emry. Keep him in mind for later in this story he becomes important.

After a while of watching random shows that are not important to this story like Owl House I came across another show on TikTok that looked good and had just come out on Netflix due to it being said to have a movie on the way weirdly enough just like ROTTMNT This show is called Community, I started watching it and I became obsessed I loved the characters I was constantly making references to it and accidentally got my family hooked too. I think in season 5 there was an episode where it was entirely GIJoe themed and there were fake commercial breaks where there would be kids playing with the toys from the show including one very familiar boy by the name of Forrest Wheeler aka EMRY FROM FRESH OFF THE BOAT. I know it doesn’t sound that interesting but it felt very weird at the time. Community also has a reoccurring joke which is a parody show in the universe called Inspector Spacetime poking fun at the show Doctor Who somehow this was my first time getting an idea of what Doctor Who is and I just kind of laughed it off. Considering community has 6 seasons it lasted me along enough time without having to look for another show to watch.

I think a very long time after I finished Community I started getting clips from a show that I recognized. Good Omens was finally getting a new season after 5 years. I wasn’t very interested because when the first season came out I was young, apparently stupid, and had a short attention span I was also discovering the idea of having a phone for the first time if that’s an excuse. But I was spoiled on the fact that there was going to be a kiss seen and I was very excited because I desperately wanted find a show with LGBTQ+ representation and I was actually interested in so I convinced my family to watch. And the season was great and after finishing it I was constantly looking at good omens stuff online. During this I was slowly becoming more interested in the happenings of the actor David Tennant so I ended up stumbling upon a treasure trove of new shows to watch and I started it with watching staged which I was having a fun time with until I felt like I had experienced whiplash and saw Ben (mister blue man) Schwartz goofing around on my screen and I had no idea what was happening but it was fun and everyone was funny and entertaining.

If only I had know what was in store for me coming in the form of aquatic birds.

FREAKING DUCKTALES

ALMOST ALL OF THE ACTORS THAT I LOVED WERE THERE. Dani Pudi aka Abed from community was playing Huey Duck, Ben Schwartz was was Dewey Duck , Bobby Moynihan who I knew from SNL but didn’t really care about at the time was playing Louie Duck, and the crown jewel, the focus of it all ✨David Tennant✨ was playing the adventuring Scrooge Mcduck. I was driven mad this was getting too much I can’t just watch a show immediately because of these actors. This was very much a kids cartoon I can’t humiliate myself like this…

So I watched it anyway

and

LOVED IT

I thought it was funny weirdly angsty at points and it was perfect and even better there were so many more people from Community in it. But it was always supposed to come to an end so I finished it and continued my hunt for content.

That was months ago but David Tennant’s acting still has a chokehold on me so I am now a self proclaimed Whovian and watched of anything David Tennant related that my parents will let me watch and my Mom is along for the ride.

I have also found a deep love of Newsies because I am now playing Albert in my school production just to put it out there for people to know how far my love of random stuff goes.

Thank you for reading.

#ofmd #ofmd s2 #the owl house #troy and abed #good omens #crowley #good omens s2 #ducktales #the afterparty #rottmnt #ben schwartz #david tennant #fresh off the boat #staged #doctor who #tenth doctor #rhys darby #newsies #albert dasilva

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greekmythcomix · 5 months

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I once drew a comic of the Book of Revelation for a commission - https://www.tumblr.com/greekmythcomix/723826235936997376/issue-four-pipe-wrench

so my husband, who knows I like doing difficult, complicated recreations of arcane texts, and also playing eldrich horror games, and most of all knowing I needed a distraction (it’s been a long month) sent me this gif:

and asked me to make a ‘biblically accurate angel’ for our Christmas tree.

So I did.

I was a bit limited to what I had in the craft box (which was felt, an old faux fur bobble-hat bobble, some pipe cleaners, doll eyes [don’t ask], a glue gun and some shrink plastic that I used for the big eye) so I don’t think it’s that accurate, but he was apparently not disappointed!

My favourite thing is the rainbow shadow it casts on the ceiling!

So in any case I think this is a Seraphim, but next time I want to try a Cherubim or a Throne because WOW

#angel #biblically accurate angel #crafts #no we are not religious #but I was raised a Catholic #and a Cthulhu Mythos rpgamer #isn’t it pretty #maybe he’ll watch #Good Omens #with me now 🤞

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spongebob-connoisseur · 10 months

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@bluebellthesponge

Hmm I dunno tbh. I guess he's just easy to caricature. Bug eyes, crooked teeth, short stature, creepy voice. Even describing it probably puts a handful of characters in your mind.

According to the book The Animated Peter Lorre, there's at least 700+ lorre caricatures/impressions in cartoons. Tho he does include igor-type characters and impressions of an impressions but still, that's A LOT. Too bad the author doesn't give an explaination as to WHY Lorre is so parodied.

I know Looney tunes parodied Lorre because he was one of the popular stars of the day, Looney tunes parodies a lot of famous stars from the 40s so it's not really surprising. I also know in the 90s Looney tunes reboots you have a lot of lorre caricatures because the animators were fans of his movies.

I've heard a story about how Lorre stuck up for the animation union at Warner Brothers and got fired for it and that's why he is caricatured so often as a way to honor him. I kinda doubt the story is true because I can't find a source (and Lorre was more likely fired for beefing with Jack Warner) but if the story is true then it's super wholesome.

Something that is official is Charles Addams (the creator of the Addams Family) telling Lorre that he based Gomez Addams off of him. I know people hate on the 2019 Addams family movies for making Gomez ugly but it's comic accurate because he was based off of Lorre (and the governor of new york in the 30s but that's not important)

I've also heard Lorre parodies are possibly an antisemetic caricature because Peter Lorre was Jewish (his birthname is Laszlo Löwenstein and you can guess why he avoided using it) and let's be real, they often give him very unflattering portrayals. He barely played horror yet is the most affiliated with it, and his "creepier" roles sometimes hinged on the fact that he's a foreigner. It's not a good look. I get that he often avoided telling others he's Jewish and apparently a lot of people didn't know but there's still a weird layer of xenophobia to it that I kinds feel like kinda bleeds into some of the caricatures? That's just my opinion. Most Peter parodies are such copies of a copy that they're pretty far from the original source material. Still, it's food for thought. Especially when making your own Peter parody.

As far as I do know Lorre did like the caricatures, keeping some of the drawings fans sent him and even finding it amusing when others tell him how to do an impression of HIMSELF. Some of those saved fan drawings are still online. My favorite is the drawing of him as a turtle <3 Most of the caricatures was because he was pretty famous for the time.

The most amusing thing about peter parodies is that it's gone on so long that nobody really knows who lorre is, but they can identify his "image" in cartoons. Tim Burton didn't even know Lorre's name when he added Maggot in corpse bride, but he did know the voice and look. That's how it is. (Check out this maggot pin I got recently)

I know for Slappy, Kaz is actually a fan of Peter Lorre and collects his movies, hence why we have Slappy. I remember from Kaz's Facebook where he mentions Slappy saying he never knew just HOW many characters were inspired by lorre. There's also John K (creator of Ren and Stimpy, I know he's terrible) who mentioned on his personal blog that he's a big fan of Lorre which is why Ren from Ren and Stimpy is based off of him. I've notice Ren quotes some Peter Lorre movie quotes, aside from his famous catchphrase "YOU EEEDIOT" of course. (Check out this Ren and Stimpy comic where Ren meets Joel Cairo, a character Peter Lorre played)

I just think it's neat. He shows up everywhere all the time :) I made a joke Thomas The Tank Engine Peter Parody but @thekhaotickrab messaged me saying they found an actual Thomas character with Lorre's voice which is pretty hilarous. Many of these I find amusing because there's no reason for it to exist. Yeah, there's a Peter Parody transformer named Cosmos and he likes scaring people because he's lonely. Yeah, there's several in Scooby Doo for some reason. Yeah he's GOMEZ ADDAMS. He's also a GPS in hotel Transylvania 2. He's also a literal egg with legs in digimon. He's also a lamp.

I heard Lorre's dream was to continue to act forever. He sorta got that wish because he keeps respawning in cartoons forever. I hope this tradition keeps up. Slappy gets a lot of shit but I'm forever grateful to that ugly little fish for introducing me to all of this <3 May the Peter Parody live on forever!

#Bluebellthesponge #Srry i couldn't help but ramble #Peter Lorre #Peter lorre fish #Replies #Slappy laszlo #Slappy Spongebob #Laszlo Spongebob #the spongebob connoisseur

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