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#but a lot of it i do. and a lot of it means the world to me even though they're shitty sketches
cassandracain52 · 17 hours
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so I’ve seen lots of fics about Bruce coming back and finding out things like Tim loosing his spleen or Damian getting shot (on multiple occasions by different people) and he almost always finds out by either having dug into the Batcomputers records and stumbling across it or just seeing it on scans or something after Tim or Damian is injured
but imagine for a moment Bruce finds out, not on his own, but by the others telling him.
And by “tell him” I of course mean that they all automatically assume that he already knows about all of it(because he’s the worlds greatest detective so obviously they don’t need to say anything) so they never bring it up until they mention it one day in passing and nearly give him a heart attack.
for example:
Bruce: Tim, I need you to come with me to speak with Dr. Thompkins down at the clinic about that new drug that’s been circulating
Tim: Oh, sure thing, just let me grab my mask
[Bruce not saying anything but looking at him confused because Tim is already fully suited up and wearing his domino mask?]:
[Tim, now wearing a surgical face mask]: Ok, I’m ready! [Bruce just staring at him, waiting for some explanation. He doesn’t get one.]:
Bruce: Tim
Tim: hm?
Bruce: Why are you wearing a face mask..?
Tim: Oh! Well Dr. Thompkins got mad at me last time I came to the clinic without one because there’s a lot of sick people there and I should be more careful since I’m immunocompromised-
[Bruce, immediately cutting him off]: Wait, what?
[Tim, slightly confused]: She got mad at me when I didn’t wear one last time..?
[Bruce, equally confused and growing very concerned]: No, not that. You’re immunocompromised?
[Tim, now completely lost because this is all common knowledge?]: Uh, yeah??
[Bruce, even more concerned]: How??? What do you mean??
[Tim, getting annoyed and rolling his eyes]: Well that’s what they call you when you have no spleen, Bruce.
Bruce: What.
[Tim finally realizing that, just maybe, they skipped a step]: I have no spleen? It got stabbed so Ra’s took it
[Bruce, about to have an aneurysm]: RA’S DID WHAT-
______ Or like him finding out Damian had his entire spine replaced
Bruce: Hey, do you think it’s strange Damian’s so small?
Dick: No?? He’s ten?? Ten year olds are small?
[Bruce, audibly concerned]: No, I mean don’t you think he should have grown some by now? Is he not eating enough?
[Dick, immediately relaxing]: Oh, that? Yeah, it’s fine
[Bruce, still concerned]: Are you sure? I was taller than that at his age
[Dick, waving his hand dismissively]: Nah, he’s fine. I think the spine replacement just stunted his growth a bit
Bruce:…
Dick:..?
[Bruce, near hysterically because all his kids somehow keep losing pieces of their insides and none of them seem bothered by it??]: his wHAT- ____
Dick has to spend the next several hours trying to stop Bruce from making everyone do a mandatory medical examination so he can make sure none of his other kids are missing anything
Dick promises that it was just the two things
Bruce is not reassured
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moonastro · 3 days
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solar return chart notes iv
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having SR 10th house on your natal asc can signify finding a job or having luck in career wise- a job focused year.
pluto in SR 2nd house can change the way you spend your money, more being independent with your spendings which in other terms can mean earning more money as well.
jupiter in the 12th house can signify being more mentally stable and secure, when i had this placement i became more confident and just enjoyed life to the fullest.
moon in 2nd house is another indicator of starting a job as the moon represents stability and emotional fulfilment in the 2nd house of earnings and possessions.
i dont know why, this may be quite specific but every time i had my SR mercury in a 3rd degree of gemini i seem to have gotten a new phone or technology related device, especially if mercury is the ruler of the 3rd or 11th house. this had happened more than 3 times for me and uranus/aquarius/gemini influence had a great impact on it as well. (just find it so fascinating)
saturn in 9th house- taking a break from education and self discovery especially if there is lots of 5th house placements can mean being more experimental and more out in the world but more unintentionally.
having SR mc in capricorn is another indication of being seen as hard working. i had my mc conjunct pluto and once again signified significant changes in my career field. can also signify as being perceived as more mature.
an 11th house stellium is good luck throughout the whole year. it brings sudden changes and surprises that can make you feel like you are the luckiest person on the planet. a really favourable placement for the year.
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vertex in the 5th house of SR can mean something fated happening that has to do with art and expression. also the sign can help to understand what area of that will be occuring. for example libra= arts, appearance, scorpio-sexuality etc.
mars trine moon in SR can mean arguments with mother however its less severe so can be not too serious.
the house part of fortune in will signify what you'll have abundance in. so in 3rd house-have more successful communications, being able to communicate freely.
asc at 0 degrees can mean experiencing fresh and authentic experiences (of course the sign matters on leading the theme).
neptune in 10th house can mean prioritising your teeth health as neptune signifies glamour and aesthetics. also can mean glamorising your public life. can be an indication of progress in your career.
ketu in 4th house will bring patterns from the past in your home or to do with family members. can be quite hurtful or can also detach from the experiences as you went through them already if that makes sense.
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thank you for reading//
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mxstellatayte · 3 days
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Thoughts on if the drivers would use toys ( and what kind) on themselves and their partners?
ok i could only come up with a mtl for this one so here we goooooooo!
nsfw under the cut <3 minors please do not interact!
🧡lando norris
oh my god this man is SUCH A WHOREEE. he's actually the first person to bring it up in your relationship, and he doesn't so much bring it up as it brings itself up. the two of you and some other drivers and their partners are out after monaco, and something seems off about him, but you don't realize exactly what it is until you're grinding your ass on him on the dance floor and he is very, very hard. when you ask what's going on, he can barely say it without moaning because every move of your hips against his, making his own move in turn, nudges the plug he'd put in before leaving just barely against his prostate. safe to say that later that night, lando was a whining mess, gripping the sheets and head thrown back while you fold him in half with the strap he'd bought a few weeks prior in hopes of this exact situation happening buried in his ass. (got a little carried away there OOPSIES)
🩶george russell
george is actually a bit of a wild card on this list. his preference for toys leans a bit more towards the pain and restraint side of them, but he doesn't mind the occasional plug or vibrator. his own kinks make their appearance when you run up to him after a good race, kiss him, and press your hands to his chest so he can set his hands on your hips the way he likes to. what you aren't expecting, though, is for the outside of your left hand to brush something hard and plastic and for george to *whimper* into the kiss. that slut had worn nipple clamps during the race. his personal favorite combination of toys is having his hands cuffed to the headboard, completely unable to fight you off as you have your merry way with him. (as long as he gets a pat on the head and a shoulder rub with his favorite body lotion and cuddles afterwards ofc <3)
🧡oscar piastri
oscar is the flip of a coin. he's more than happy to quickly tie your wrists together with his tie if you're being a brat at an event or take his time lacing together a beautiful, intricate shibari harness to keep you in place while he uses your mouth to get himself off. when he takes the time for shibari, he'll take a lot of photos of you, maybe even a few videos to use later when he's halfway across the globe. as for toys on himself, he mainly only goes for a simple fleshlight (or lando). surprisingly, one thing he enjoys is laying back blindfolded and letting you have your way with him, as long as you aren't too mean.
🩶lewis hamilton
lewis has a very "if you're down, i'm down" attitude about most things when it comes to sex. as long as the two of you are comfortable and enjoying it, he's game on for a lot of stuff! his hard nos when it comes to toys on himself and his partner are anything that could potentially put one of you in danger or anything even vaguely involving animals. the first time you two really start exploring the world of sex toys of all sorts, he's constantly checking in with you, making sure you're feeling good, and if you tap out at any point, the aftercare is amazing bc he feels bad </3
🩵logan sargeant
oh this man LOVES fucking and getting fucked, and if there's toys involved, he's even happier. i can imagine him sending you a new toy when a big event happens that he can't be there for, and, to make up for it, he buys it for you so that you can fuck over the phone that night. he absolutely loves watching you fuck yourself with anything- your fingers, a toy, even using him to get yourself off is hot as hell to him. i also can't get the thought of him tied up in shibari with a ball gag in his mouth as you tease the fuck out of him, fucking his ass with a dildo that might be bordering on too big and jerking him off slowly at the same time (bonus points if it's in front of a mirror so he can see what a mess of himself he's making 🫣)
💙daniel ricciardo
the first time you bring up the idea of toys with danny, youre both high on the beach outside cancun over winter break, talking about all the random things two high adults talk about, and the topic of him eating you out feels. you passingly mention how much you love it when he moans while he's attached to your clit, and the idea of getting you a vibrator sparks in his mind. when you're in bed that night, the high long gone, he asks you just that, and you're so close to sleep that, when you wake up the next morning, you aren't sure if you remember what happened properly the previous night. you did, in fact, remember correctly, and when you get back to australia, there's a package laying on your bed. "happy late christmas baby xx -danny" inside is a baby pink suction vibrator that you cum with three times, saving a voice memo and texting it to him after you're done catching your breath.
💛charles leclerc
this goes without saying, but charles is more than happy to spend hours between your legs if he could. he's such a pleasure dom that sometimes you have to pull him away from your clit by his hair, and fuck if that sight alone doesn't prep you for another hour of his tongue ravishing you, you don't know what will. his cheeks, lips, chin, even the tip of his nose are shiny with a mix of your cum and his saliva, his pupils are wide and his mouth hangs open, breath heavy and fanning against you so perfectly. when you being up the idea of using toys, he's over the moon. when he finds out the toys you had in mind are ones you can wear to ferrari events under your dress, the remote hiding perfectly in the pocket of his pants? shit, he's on neptune.
🩵alex albon
what is it with the williams drivers being sub leaning? alex is similar to lewis in having the "if you're down, i'm down" attitude, and he's just as focused on his partner's pleasure as he is his own. he's the first to bring it up in the relationship, asking (very very shyly) if you'd maybe possibly under no pressure whatsoever be willing to try pegging him, and when his eyes light up when you agree, you have a feeling toys are going to start being a semi-regular addition to your sex life. on the occasion that neither of you have any (or you simply don't have the time or effort), alex is more than willing to have you ride him or fuck you himself, because i do think that, if teased enough, alex will top purely out of spite.
💙yuki tsunkda
yuki's idea of toys is much more unconventional. it could be your pillow when the two of you are fucking over the phone, the armrest of the couch in his driver's room, or your favorite dildo or vibrator. he's honestly kinda cool with most stuff, as long as it makes you feel good and is safe. as for himself, his favorite is a cock ring around him while you ride him, so that way you're both getting the best of it while he can still hold on to your tits :D he also tied your wrists together one time with a ribbon from the gift he got you for your two year anniversary and he still keeps the ribbon in his nightstand to remind him of you on nights when he's especially lonely.
❤️max verstappen
really, really prefers to fuck you himself in whatever way he can. whether he's fucking you into the mattress with his dick or sending you to heaven with his tongue and fingers or making you ride his thigh because you were being a little brat, he just loves the feeling of your skin on his. if you're being especially bratty, though, he will not hesitate to make you fuck yourself but of course you won't get to cum... why would he let you do that when you've been a brat? no, it's nearing overstimulation and tears running down your face begging for him to let you cum from the toy before he even considers giving you the release of fucking you himself.
🩷pierre gasly
pierre is a fluffy little fluff boy. just. the actual sweetest in bed. he prefers to be able to feel you himself rather than adding a toy to the mix, but if you're just really, really turned on while you're not around and feel like messing with him you'll send him a video of you fucking yourself with your favorite toy and it gets him so riled up he has to stop whatever he's doing and run to the motorhome so he can deal with his boner lol
💛carlos sainz
carlos is a very hands-on guy. he doesn't really go for dedicated toys per se, leaning more towards shoving your panties in your mouth or tying your wrists together with his tie. sometimes he doesn't even need that, though- sometimes his hand is more than enough to cover your mouth or hold your wrists together if there's no other option.
🤍nico hülkenberg
like carlos, he's very hands-on with you. the only real "toys" he uses with you are blindfolds and ribbons to hold your wrists in place. one time, he tried handcuffing you to the bed but seeing the marks on your wrists scared him so he threw them away after that :((
drivers i think just wouldn't be into toys very much, if at all:
valtteri bottas, fernando alonso, zhou guanyu
intentionally excluded: checo, lance, kmag, ocon
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zombie-bait · 3 days
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Full Moon
Ok so I don’t normally post about Helluva Boss but the newest episode touched on an interesting concept I haven’t necessarily seen represented in media. Back when I was on Twitter (derogatory) a few years ago there was this now deleted viral thread where someone discussed how their struggles with mental health affected their relationship with their partner and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since. 
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This is such a good, short example of how anxiety and depression can play tricks on you. It becomes so easy to envision yourself as a nuisance, a constant burden to those closest to you because they cannot possibly genuinely enjoy your company, right? But in doing so you create this arbitrarily cruel version of the people you love, people who would otherwise never behave like this outside of your own mind.
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It's mean. Because your mind wants to be mean to you under these circumstances. It wants to put everyone else's emotions and desires above yours, both in worthiness and validity. And that starts bleeding into your understanding of other people, especially those you care about.
Now. Helluva Boss.
"Can I get a fucking MINUTE to think after everything you put me through you pompous rich ASSHOLE? Treat me like one of your little butler imps, you can’t just dismiss me like that! I mean, you royal fucks think you can do this every time, like you can just play with our feelings because we’re smaller and not as important. Well I’m not letting you, BITCH! Let’s go!" - Blitz
I find it really interesting how Helluva Boss decided to approach this conflict between Stolas and Blitz. Obviously, the difference in power matters. It's the underlying tension of their entire relationship and their lives. Stolas is burdened by the mountain of expectations thrust upon him from a very young age while Blitz is constantly reminded that he can NEVER be part of that world, that he is "smaller and not as important" not just in Hell's hierarchy but in his own life and family. Stolas very literally has power over Blitz (through the grimoire, the arrangement, his position in society) and Blitz uses their relationship as an excuse to reverse those roles. But that power dynamic, in one form or another, never truly goes away. And for Blitz, it's a lot easier to paint Stolas as this manipulative symbol of power and himself as nothing more than Stolas' plaything. It's easier to be angry than to be vulnerable and accept that someone might care about him.
"Dismiss" is the keyword in that quote. All that Blitz has been able to process is that Stolas has decided to end the relationship that they have. He feels ls like a choice has been taken away from him so he lashes out because he's not ready to emotionally tackle what the rest of Stolas' offer might entail. If Stolas hates him, just wants to play with him, then he is justified in his anger, his self-destruction, his isolation. If the world is mean, you're "allowed" to be mean back.
But
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In that moment he forgets that Stolas is someone he actually cares about. Someone he's known for way too long and clearly wants to keep in his life, no matter how reluctant he can be to admit it. Someone who is not innately cruel or manipulative but sad and desperate for connections in a lot of the same ways that Blitz is. And Blitz immediately sees that he's miscalculated something.
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Somewhere along the way the fictional version of Stolas that he's allowed himself to be mad at and the real one that he's not ready to admit he cares about have merged into something real that he has actual power over. Stolas can get hurt and Blitz can be the one who does it. He has once again allowed his greatest fears (which Stolas so frequently symbolizes) to co-opt his loved ones, to give him an "out" even though he didn't actually want one in the first place.
I'm definitely not the first person to say this but I think this is an example of the miscommunication trope done right. Their individual struggles are what cause them to be unable to connect during this conversation or to even have a proper conversation in the first place. There is no convenient misunderstanding or third party fabricating this rift. Both of them have preconceived ideas of what the other one is thinking but those ideas are flawed and rooted in self-hatred. They also both shutdown in their unique ways when the conversation starts heading in the direction they'd feared it would.
Blitz and Stolas work because they're both fucked up in similar ways, because they want similar things. That's the same reason why they're uniquely designed to hurt one another. A fear of rejection and a yearning for happiness. To borrow a quote that has been used by literally everyone from Spiderman to Evangelical preachers, "hurt people hurt people."
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anyway, I really liked this episode.
(twitter thread screenshots sourced from this reddit post)
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wososcripts · 21 hours
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Face to Face (Part II)
Fridolina Rolfö x reader
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Summary: you begin to recover with the help of several of your teammates... except a certain blonde.
A/N: another part! the entire fic is now written so hopefully I'll update more quickly :) also don't forget to read part one. as usual this is all fictional and in good fun!
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings ⚠️: angst and lots of it, medical description
"What the hell was that!" Zećira said, turning on her teammate once you were off the field. "You could've seriously hurt her with that messy shit!"
Zećira raised a hand to shove her teammate away, rage bubbling in her gut. You two had always been close at Chelsea when you played there, and you were in almost daily contact since you left. She was protective over you, you were her junior only by a year but you always came across so kind—it was difficult not to want to shield that from the tough world.
Magda stepped in, forcing Zećira away. But her stern eye was more for Rolfö, the one who had fouled you.
"That was dangerous, Frido. Really." Were all the words Magda had to share. But her eyes spoke volumes.
She too had played with you at Chelsea, and knew you to be a sweet, caring, hard working person. To see you hurt was tough to stomach. Especially when it was her national teammate, and your clubmate, responsible.
"Why did you hit her so hard? It's a friendly. She's your clubmate. Now she'll be out of Barcelona's line up for at least a few games."
That meant having to answer to Jona, and Alexia, both of whom would surely not be holding her in their good graces right now. Rolfö didn't even want to think of the state of her phone.
"I didn't mean to…I'm sorry." Rolfö mumbled, not sure what to say. Even she was shocked by her actions, and what had followed. The reality of it was beginning to sink in, how hard you'd gone down, the fact that you had to be practically carried off of the field, that you had some kind of concussion all because of her. What the hell had she been thinking?
Clearly, she hadn't.
Zećira scoffed at her apology and wandered off back to the box, leaving Magda to deal with a now glossy eyed Frido.
"Hey!" Another voice called.
It was Alexandra Popp, who was walking over with a stern look on her face. She made eye contact with Magda and nodded, making it clear there were going to be no fights between them. Popp was good at keeping her head.
She seemed to have none of the grace for Rolfö, though, who she turned to next. Instead she gave the Swedish player a harsh look, her mouth set in a straight line.
"I hope you know you're lucky to not have been carded for that. That was completely unnecessary, and you've hurt a great person because you couldn't clean your game up. So stay the hell away from my players, okay?"
Popp didn't give her the chance to reply, turning around and stalking back to the bench to talk with the coach about who would be subbed in for you.
-
"It hurts," you whimpered to Laura. She had raced to the med bay the second the match was over. Germany had won, but it hardly mattered. Your head was killing you, tears streaming from your eyes. Even with the dim lights the pain was intense. Every noise, every movement, hurt. They were taking you to get scans as soon as the ambulance arrived.
Laura rubbed your skin soothingly, terrified by how much pain you seemed to be in. The doctors had told her they couldn't give you any medication until they got to the hospital and found out how bad it was.
She spotted Popp and Sara at the door, then Zećira as well. She shook her head.
"I'm going to go tell Sara and Zećira how you're doing, okay?" She whispered as softly as she could, and you gave her a thumbs up.
Laura slipped outside, keeping her eye on you through the door's window.
"How bad is it?" Zećira asked first.
"They don't know. We're waiting for the ambulance to take her for scans."
Popp rubbed her temples, clearly distressed.
"Have they given her anything for the pain?"
Sara peeked in and saw you curled into a ball on the medical bed.
"Not yet, not until we get the scans—listen I've got to get back in there…"
The girls nodded and Laura opened the door, assuring them she would pass on their well wishes.
-
Still in the locker room, Frido opened her phone and saw that indeed, a few of her Barça teammates had clearly been watching the game. Firstly there was a link to what must've been a video of the tackle from Mapí followed by a series of question marks; then a long message from Ingrid saying that she didn't know what was going on with her, or with the thing you two had (or didn't have), but that she was there if Frido needed to talk; and finally two missed calls from Alexia, who would much rather scold her over the phone.
She couldn't call back now, not outside the quiet of her room where nobody was likely to interrupt. She knew the voice Alexia would use—she'd never been on the receiving end of it and never wanted to be. Once Alexia scolded her, Frido knew the reality of the situation would settle on her.
So she clicked on the link that Mapí had sent instead, curious how bad the incident looked from the camera's point of view. She hardly remembered it, it was a split second, resentment-fueled decision mixed with a tactical one—when you were anywhere near the goal like that the chances of you scoring were high. Then there was your surprised yelp, and the feeling of skin hitting skin, and Frido had popped back up.
The video started from a wide angle, in which you were barely visible in the corner. But she saw you get around a defender, then start dribbling down the pitch. And she saw her own approach, the way she cut across the field, racing. Magda was there too, behind her. She saw Zećira eye you, prepping for your shot. And then—slam. It looked like it hurt even on video. She'd slid her foot under your left leg, causing you to lose balance as her body collided with yours. Frido took the ball and passed it to Amanda, running off in the opposite direction as you went down.
The video switched to a closer angle of the collision where she could see how you fell first on your hip, then your shoulder, then she saw your head bounce harshly off the ground. There was no audio, but the way your head bounced from the pitch made Frido a little nauseous. The camera remained on you as you laid there, not moving. The game continued as you lay there, still. Eventually someone kicked the ball out of play, Freigang probably. One of your closest friends on your national team. Suddenly Zećira appeared by your side, asking if you were okay. Your eyes were scrunched up, and she could see you trying to breathe through the nausea. Zećira lightly cradled your head with her gloves, the contrast almost comical. You gave a weak thumbs up, not moving otherwise.
The announcer, who had been keeping an eye on the ball until now, shifted his attention to you. And with a pretty harsh tackle there from Rolfö, she seems to be hurt… yep there are the medics. We're hearing maybe a head injury, that's never good. And as a Barcelona starter that means she'll likely be out of the lineup for a few weeks depending on how bad this is. A shame, really. Should that have been a yellow? Clearly Freigang thinks so…
Frido closed the video, feeling sick. She hadn't realized how long you'd been out. The panic in Zećira's eyes was clear in that video, and Frido felt some of it reverberate in her chest even now. The medics were always extra concerned when someone passed out cold. That meant serious impact.
She didn't answer Mapí's text, or Ingrid’s. Mostly she wanted to see if you were okay—but she didn't have any idea where you were. In the medic room? The hospital? And who could she ask?
"Hey,"
Unexpectedly, Pernille sat down next to her. She must be there for Magda, Frido figured, but she hadn't seen her earlier in the stands.
"Hi, Pernille. Where's Magda?"
"I'm not sure. A few of them went down to the med bay… she might be there."
Pernille stayed silent for a beat, studying Frido.
"Is there a reason you aren't down there?"
"I'm probably the last person she wants to see right now."
Pernille grabbed Frido’s hand, squeezing it. Before she could offer words of advice however, Magda walked in.
"Hi, love," she leaned down to give Pernille a kiss.
"Frido." She said curtly.
Pernille looked to her girlfriend, then back at Frido.
"Come on Magda, it was an accident."
Magda crossed her arms, still upset.
"I'm sorry." Frido mumbled.
"You need to direct that apology somewhere else."
The three of them stood quietly, Frido refusing to look up from her shoes. Pernille squeezed Madga's hand giving her a look.
Magda let out a sigh, putting a hand on Frido’s shoulder. She pulled the blonde woman up and into a firm hug, not wanting her sternness to hurt Frido.
"Go get cleaned up. The bus leaves in half an hour."
-
Frido waited until she was back in her hotel room to call Alexia. Stina, her typical roommate, was out for dinner with a friend. Frido knew she would rather be staying in and relaxing after the strenuous travel and match they had had today, but Stina was considerate enough to give her privacy.
Clicking on Alexia’s contact, noting the two missed calls from earlier, was the most nerve wracking thing she had done all day.
"Hi," Frido mumbled into the phone as Alexia picked up.
Part of her was hoping to get a voice-mail, but to no avail.
"Hi."
The silence stretched.
"How are things?"
Frido nearly laughed.
"Pretty shit, I'd say."
Another pause of silence.
"Did you go and check on her?"
"No. No, I haven't. Freigang and Popp are up there with her now. I'm…" Frido cleared her throat. "I think she needs her rest, mostly."
Alexia stayed quiet on the other edit of the line.
"What do you want me to say, Alexia?"
"I don't need you to say anything to me, but I'm sure there's apologies you owe someone else."
Frido didn't reply. She couldn't admit how much she had hurt you. Not now.
"You already know it was messy, and unnecessary. I saw Zećira yelling at you on the field—and to be clear if that had been in a game I was playing in, I'd have done the same. I just don't understand it. I guess I want you to explain it to me. That's what I want from you."
"I made a bad decision. In a split second. That's it."
"You aren't that aggressive when you play. You don't throw tackles in like that, you're tactical. That was not tactical—you could've easily gotten a yellow."
"Alexia, don't you think I already know I could've been carded?"
"And yet you still tackled her." Alexia sighed. "Jona will want to talk to you too, once you're back. We all love you, Frido, and we care about you. Whatever is going on, you can talk to someone about it."
"Thanks… but I'm fine, really."
"All right, then I'll let you go." Frido moved to hang up before she heard the Spanish woman's voice again, "and be prepared to face Patri when you get back, you know how protective she gets."
Frido sighed. She knew Alexia was joking with her a bit, trying to lighten the mood at the end of the call, but it was true. She knew everyone on the team would hold just a bit of anger for her and that made her stomach churn.
“Sí, Alexia.”
Once the phone had been hung up the room felt stiflingly quiet. Now she wanted Stina, or someone, to fill the space. Usually Frido wasn’t one who needed other people’s company to feel secure, but right now she craved it.
-
“The initial scans are clear. That means no bleeding,” Laura said into her phone. She was speaking as slowly and clearly as she could. “She’s asleep right now, they’ve got her on pain medication… No, I don’t know when she’ll wake up. Okay, yes I’ll stay here with her until you arrive, Alexia, of course.”
Laura rubbed her forehead, letting out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She slumped into her chair and looked at you, suddenly unable to keep the tears from streaming down her face. It had been such a terrible day, seeing you in that amount of pain. Fielding calls from your mother (who was coming to visit in the morning), the other German teammates, and the Barcelona girls was exhausting. She had barely had any time to process things herself.
She just wanted you to be okay, no matter what. And she wasn’t sure she would ever forgive Fridolina for this. It was a bad habit, grudge holding, but this felt warranted.
The sound of your breathing was accompanied by the beeping of the machines you were hooked up to. A nurse was supposed to come in every two hours and wake you up and ask you a few questions: your name, what happened, things like that. Apparently it was so they could tell if there was brain damage. The thought terrified Laura.
She had been there when you got a concussion on the U16 team. It wasn’t as bad as this, at least in her memory, but your parents had been the ones dealing with it so she wasn’t completely sure. You had been out for a few weeks, and she remembered that the doctors had told you to be careful of that spot in the future. Multiple concussions compounded on each other, apparently.
“Hey,” a soft voice called from the doorway. It was Zećira. She had her hair down around her shoulders and was dressed in a hoodie and some sweatpants. “I brought some stuff for you, I figured you probably hadn’t had a moment’s rest all day.”
Laura stood, shocked by the kindness of someone she barely knew. Zećira had always been polite when they met on the field, and she was a damn good goalie, but Laura was pretty sure they had never even had a conversation.
“Don’t worry, it’s not Swedish gear. Popp gave me some of your clothes, so they should fit.”
It was only then that Laura realized she was still in her kit from earlier. The dried sweat on her skin started to itch as she became aware of her unclean state. She must smell awful too.
“You can shower in the bathroom, I’m sure nobody will care. I’ll watch over her while you do.”
Laura nodded, taking the clothes from Zećira and slipping away. She muttered a soft thank you on her way, looking back at your sleeping form once more.
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nagitosstolenhand · 3 days
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i don't like the growing opinion that people are being 'too hard' on deku for his failing to save shigaraki.
i've seen quite a few people complaining that a lot of the bnha-critical crowd are being too mean to deku for getting tomura killed, arguing that it isn't really his fault, and that hes a 16 year old child soldier who's been failed by almost every adult in his life, why should we be putting all of this on his shoulders? hes just a kid after all?
and the truth is, they're right. deku IS a 16 year old boy whos had the fate of the world thrust on his shoulders. but the story itself just plainly refuses to acknowledge this.
the narrative doesn't acknowledge how fucked up having a school that trains literal children how to be combo cop-celebrities is. it only tentatively acknowledges the fact that a universe having combo cop-celebrities is fucked up, and even then the only people who ever point this out are antagonists, who are portrayed and treated in-universe as untrustworthy. the narrative doesn't care how fucked up dekus circumstances are. the narrative treats deku like hes a fucking messiah here to touch the hearts of the evil depressed villains with his magical empathetic heart of gold before they get blown up or just sent to fucking superhell for daring to challenge the status quote.
deku isn't a person. he's barely even a fucking character at this point. he's a plot device, and a mouth piece for the objectively shitty themes bnha is trying to spout. the themes that tell you that if you're mistreated by society and want to do something about it, you're a villain. that disrupting the status quote and refusing to repent to some random teenage boy spouting empty platitudes at you means you deserve to get sent to fucking superhell. the themes that portray people fighting for civil change as mass murdering supervillains. the themes that look the audience dead in the eye and can call deku the greatest hero to ever live.
deku, who barely spared a second thought to lady nagant telling him the truth about the hero commission. who spouts meaningless platitudes about heroism and morality at nagant, and aoyama, and toga and shigaraki, when even the thought that he should question the world around him comes up. who's constantly talked about as this truly kind, empathetic person, but hasn't spared an empathetic thought to literally anyone who is classified as a villain. who listened to every authority figure around him except the ones who asked him to question his worldview. who saw la bravas tears, shigarakis various breakdowns, himikos plead for understanding, chisakis catatonic state, lady nagants truth, and barley batted a fucking eye. deku, who killed tomura shigaraki.
people don't criticize deku for failing shigaraki because they just hate deku. people criticize deku because of what he represents. because hes a mouthpiece for the atrocious morals and themes of this ideologically rotten manga. because any character he had was chopped up to bits in favor of the incomplete husk we have now. people criticize deku because hes the main character of my hero academia. theres nothing more damning then that.
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formulawolff · 2 days
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vii. the in-between - t.w.
pairing: female driver! x toto wolff
word count: 5.2k
warnings: buckle up y’all cause we go. angst, cursing, size kink, edging, praise kink, FUCKING, LOTS OF FUCKING. toto being a simp, banter, yearning, mentions of divorce, mentions of alcohol use, creampie, teasing, yadayadayada… y’all know what’s about to go down
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“it’s fine, mom. really.” 
bringing a hand to your temple, you begin to massage, attempting to alleviate the accumulated pressure. 
“i mean, yeah, i’m not in trouble or anything. as far as i know, the fia is letting me race in suzuka. it was my first offense so they dropped the investigation. as long as i publicly apologize for my actions, everything will be cleared up.” 
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
do you know how many people have asked me about you? baby, people approach me at the goddamn grocery store asking me why you beat up that poor little british boy! he’s built like a twig for god’s sake! 
rolling your eyes, you lean back in your chair, keeping the phone pressed against your ear, “mom, his name is george russell. he drives for mercedes. he’s not some little boy.” 
all right, all right. well maybe he needs to come over for some dinner or something. get some meat on those bones. anyway, did i tell you that your father has been scouring ebay trying to purchase sports cards with your car on it? well, he’s found ones with you on them too. he wants to make a booklet of his favorite kiddo. 
with that discovery, your heart swells, “is he really? tell him to look up topps chrome cards. those are the best ones. since i’m not as popular as max or lewis, they should be pretty cheap. and mom, i’m your only kiddo.” 
that’s why we’re so proud of you. even if you get into fist fights, we still love you bunches. when do you think you’ll come home? your dad wants to take you out in his baby. he’s made some modifications to it. he thinks you’ll appreciate it more than i will. 
“where is dad? is he asleep?” 
yes honey. he’s asleep. snoring away on the couch with the dogs. i wish we could give you a taste of home somehow. maybe i could have a care package sent to japan? 
“mom,” you exhale, “that would be so much money. don’t worry about it. were you guys considering flying out for miami?” 
oh yes, about that! you perk up in your chair, anticipating your mom’s response. we are going to be there. we can’t wait to see you. we miss you so much. it’s so quiet when you’re not home. will i be able to meet some of your coworkers? 
letting you a giggle, you shake your head, “mom. they’re my fellow drivers. we’re not coworkers. but yeah, i could probably introduce you to a few of them. daniel wants to meet you two.” 
what about that handsome fellow with the bright blue eyes? he drives for redbull! and yes, i would love to meet daniel. 
“max verstappen?” you arch a brow, “we’d have to see about that one. he’s a very busy man.” 
okay, okay. the line cuts out briefly. hey honey, i think i need to head to bed. i love you so much. keep in touch, okay? we’ll see you in a few short weeks. 
nibbling on your lower lip, you nod, “i love you too, mom. tell dad i love him. i miss you guys. i can’t wait to see you.” 
me either. goodnight honey, or good morning or afternoon or whatever time it is over there. i’ll text you when i wake up! love you. 
“love you,” your lip trembles, hands clamming up as you the line goes silent. 
fuck, were you homesick. 
you just had to make it a few more weeks. then, you could finally reunite with your parents in miami. although you knew you would be so fucking busy, you would make time. 
you always did when it came to your parents. 
also, you had another plan brewing as you scroll through your contact list, searching for a certain dutch assassin. a certain dutch man who happened to be a three-time world champion. 
somehow, someway, your mom was going to meet max verstappen. 
you had to make that happen. 
you had to. 
currently, you were sitting on the edge of a bed in a suite in london, anxiously awaiting the arrival of your driver. a decently-sized suitcase sat near the door, a carry-on stacked on top. 
this driver was provided specific instructions to transport you from london to brackley, dropping you off at the door of a certain team principal’s home. 
yet, you were well aware that it wasn’t going to be just any old home. 
this man was billionaire, after all. 
buzzing in your grasp, your phone notifies you of a new text. 
from none other than toto wolff. 
the driver is on the elevator, heading up towards your suite. DO NOT handle your bags. he will do that for you. i don’t want you to fuss over a single thing. from there, he will bring you here, where he will punch in the code for the gate. i will be waiting for you at the door. 
i can’t wait to see you, schatzi. i miss your beautiful face and sweet laughter. 
oh, and i can’t wait to kiss you. 
(and yes, i am pacing around in my office as i type this. i can’t focus on anything else but your arrival) 
with sazuka quickly approaching next week, you would only have a couple of days with the team principal before you had to part ways. he would have prep, meetings, press, where he would then fly out to sazuka. meanwhile, you would have to catch a flight, meet with your team, prep, and potentially meet with press, fans, and the other drivers. 
additionally, you had to address the incident that occurred last week at the australian grand prix. to your surprise, the fia had dismissed the investigation, finding no substantial evidence that the two of you needed to be punished. due to the nature of the accident, george was not punished, as he did no illegal maneuvers or intentionally attempted to take you out of the race. 
on the other hand, the fia was adamant that if this happened again, you were going to face consequences. you would have to shell out a pretty penny for fines, and then you would be immediately disqualified from three future races, deeming you unable to participate.
although they were merciful, the fia made it very clear that since it was your first offense, they were going to be fair.. 
however, if there was a next time, they would not be so kind. 
a crisp knock rang out, startling you. 
springing to your feet, you open the door, an older man smiling in greeting. 
“you must be golden girl,” sticking out his right hand, he dips his head, “i’m theodore. i’ll be your driver to brackley this evening. i am here to not only be your escort, but to tend to anything you may need. mr. wolff made it very clear that you were not to fret over a single thing.”
“good morning,” the corners of your lips curl into a quaint smile as you shake his hand, “thank you. i’m eager to see the english countryside.”
“i’ll handle your bags ma’am,” theodore clears his throat, “you just take it easy.”
“will do,” you nod, “how long is the drive?”
“about an hour and a half,” theodore responds curtly, slinging your carry-on around his shoulder, “don’t worry, it’s not too boring. follow me this way, my lady. our chariot awaits!”
following him down the hall, he presses the button for the elevator. there’s a silence between you, but not an uncomfortable one. theodore’s presence was warm, inviting even.
upon meeting him, you understood why he was toto’s right-hand driver. once he escorted you to the car, he opens the door for you, ushering you inside. when you settle into the backseat, you notice the glint of a redbull can, along with your favorite snacks and candy. 
“mr. wolff wanted to ensure you wouldn’t be hungry,” theodore states as he climbs into the driver’s seat, pressing the button for the ignition, “he told me that you can be a little cranky if you don’t have any snacks.”
“oh? he said that?” a giggle bubbles up in your throat, “did he say anything else about me?”
“oh yes,” theodore chuckles, turning the gear shift, “he’s told me all about you. to be quite frank, he hasn’t shut up about you the last week or so.”
“so you know who i am?”
“of course i do,” theodore nods, flashing you a grin in the rearview mirror, “you’re one of the best formula one drivers on the grid. you drive for williams racing. you’ve only won one grand prix, but i believe you’ll win a few more this season. your hometown is in yuma, arizona. you’re twenty-two years old, and from what toto has shared with me, you have a very bright future ahead.”
“are you a formula one fan?” you arch a brow, punching open the can of redbull. 
“who isn’t?” he shrugs, “well, ms. golden girl, we are going to begin our journey. if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to speak up. if you’d like, you can tell me a little bit more about yourself. we will have plenty of time.”
as theodore promised, the drive to brackley was painless. yet, as the car pulls up to the gate, your heart skips a beat.
this was no quaint english cottage.
toto’s brackley residence was a sleek and sprawling two-story home, a black and white exterior with massive, thick windows. your jaw almost drops, and theodore notices, letting out a hearty laugh, “don’t act so shocked, golden girl. i’m sure you’re aware toto is a very wealthy man.”
“i thought he would have kept things somewhat simple.”
“oh love,” theodore shakes his head, “you and i both know that toto is anything but simple.”
rolling down the window, theodore punches in a code, the gate sliding open. as the car lurches up the drive, your heart thumps in your rib-cage, blood roaring in your ears. 
this was really happening. 
you were really staying with toto. 
“nervous?” theodore senses the shift in energy, “you have no reason to be nervous. he’s been anticipating your arrival. he’ll be happy to see you.”
“thank you,” you manage to muster a meek smile, “i-i just didn’t think we would get this far.”
“well savor the time together. time flies, especially in our world. one day you’re at a track, the next you’re in another country. he adores you, golden girl. so don’t you fret about that. just relax, and enjoy your time. i will be here in a couple of days to bring you to the airport for your departure to sazuka.” 
“thank you,” at his words, you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief, “i look forward to our next drive together!”
“as do i,” shifting the gears, theodore puts the car in park, slipping out of the driver’s seat, “we have arrived. let me get your bags.”
he strolls over to your door, opening it as you clamber out, stretching your sore legs.
no matter how much time you spent in a car, there was always that persisting stiffness. 
you’d probably need a double-knee replacement by the time you were forty, but that was the least of your worries. 
out of the corner of your eye, you notice a figure strolling towards the car. with the large stature, you knew it could only be one particular individual. 
he’s dressed in a royal blue button-up, paired with khaki slacks. on his feet are earth-toned dress shoes. the blue hue of the button-up complements his dark hair, almost brightening his features, giving them a youthful glow. tufts of his hair are all over as the wind blows. 
yet, he looks as gorgeous as ever, his toned muscles rippling under the thin fabric of the button-up. 
“welcome to brackley schatzi,” the grin enveloping his face is radiant, “i hope the drive wasn’t too bad.”
“not at all,” you shake your head, the team principal nearly sucking the wind out of your lungs as he wraps his arms around you, squishing you against his chest. 
“i missed you so much,” tender lips connect with your cheek, “good afternoon, theo! did she behave herself?”
“of course,” theodore promptly places your bag next to the entrance, suitcase in tow, “i have another commitment here soon, mr. wolff. i hope it is all right i placed her bags next to the door?” 
“don’t worry about it,” toto’s fingers find yours, intertwining them together, “i’ll get them. please drive safe, theo.”
“i will, mr. wolff,” theodore dips his head, turning to you, he takes your hand, shaking it, “it was lovely to meet you. i look forward to our next meeting, golden girl. enjoy your time together, you two!”
“we will,” toto squeezes your hand, “goodbye, theo.”
“goodbye, mr. wolff!” theodore spins on his heel, making his way to the car, “behave, you two!”
in response, toto gives a thumbs up, theodore slipping back into the driver’s seat. as he peels off, toto shifts his body, facing you.
“charming, isn’t he?”
“he’s great! kept me entertained the whole drive!”
“i told him you have a short attention span so to keep you occupied,” toto shooks you a wink, earning an eye roll. 
“i can’t stand you.”
“you’re standing right now, aren’t you?” his chuckle is light, “come, let’s head on in. i have lunch waiting for us.”
“you made me lunch?” 
“yes, i’m going to drive you all the way out here just so starve you,” he scoffs, yet his tone says otherwise, “i have food ready. and wine, if you want some.”
“don’t tell me you want to get me drunk so i’ll confess all my secrets.”
“consider that my new goal for the afternoon,” toto grabs your bag, along with your suitcase. pushing open the door, he clears his throat, “welcome to my home away from home.”
as you step in the entrance, your eyes widen, lips parting.  
the space was truly a reflection of toto. refined and elegant, with a hints of charm. the marble floors gleam under the soft lighting, rays of sun shining through the vast windows. the walls were covered in a menagerie of decor, from pieces of art to mercedes memorabilia. it was not the typical billionaire’s home, where the air felt sterile and cold. 
this place was warm and full of life, coaxing you to stay. 
“cat got your tongue?” his breath fans against your ear, a hand gliding along your back, “follow me, schatzi.”
“your home is beautiful.”
glancing over his shoulder, you are met with his gorgeous smile, dimples and all, “thank you, love. i’m glad you like it.”
trailing behind the austrian, you stroll down a long hallway, turning into the last room on the left. toto places your bag and suitcase next to a glass door, “this is my bedroom. you’ll be staying here with me.”
“straight to the bedroom huh?” you fold your arms across your chest, teasing, “you just couldn’t wait–”
“come here,” toto growls, hands grasping your wrists, bringing you in, “no, i can’t wait.”
looking up, you match his gaze, cocking your head, “what are you going to do about it?”
at your rebuttal, toto’s eyes narrow, “what do you think i’m going to do?”
“fuck me.”
“hmmmm,” he hums, leaning in, “you’re right, schatzi. i am going to fuck you. i’m going to fuck you till you’re weeping me for me to stop.”
“weeping?” your hands roam, tugging on his button-up, “i’d like to see you try.”
“oh schatzi,” he tsks, “you don’t know what you’re in for.”
“show me then.”
“i will,” lips ghost over yours, “i’ll show you how badly i missed you baby.”
as he kisses you, it’s tender at first, brimmed with the sweetness of reunion. one of his hands wraps around the base of your neck, tilting your head back as his tongue gains access to your mouth, the tang of redbull tracing your mouth. yet, as you whimper, a fiery hunger sets ablaze.
fuck, he missed you. 
he missed you more than he liked to admit.
tension hangs thick, clouding the space as his mouth places sloppy, wet kisses down your jawline, finding your neck. nipping gently, it takes every fiber in his being to resist the urge to just mark you all over. to leave marks where they could see. to make them wonder who was doing this to you.
but he couldn’t. not there. 
in response, your hips buck forward, grinding against his. toto groans, his head rolling back. 
there was not a single coherent thought in his mind. 
only lust. and fuck, was it consuming him whole. 
scooping you into his arms, he brings you over to the bed, your back meeting with the plush mattress. 
“i can’t wait,” he pants, chest heaving, “i can’t wait any longer. i need you.”
“then take me,” your words drip like honey, oh so sweet, “make me yours, toto.”
jesus fucking christ.
he was going to fuck the shit out of you. right here, right now.
there was no going back. 
he ached for it. he yearned for it. the fantasy flooded his dreams at night.
the things he wanted to do to you? 
downright filthy. sinful, even 
he couldn’t lose his inhibitions. not yet. he had to hang on. 
however, at this point, toto was hanging on by a thread. 
peeling your leggings and panties off, he tosses them to the floor, “sit up.”
you obey, nearly trembling with anticipation as fingertips hook the hem of your crewneck, pulling it over your head. nimbly, he hovers over you, finding the clasps of your bra. he undoes them, a crimson hue dusting his cheeks as he takes in the sight of you completely naked beneath him. 
god, you were absolutely breathtaking. 
every inch of you was stunning. every scar. every mole. every freckle. every stretch mark. 
you were so fucking beautiful. 
his hands fly to his button-up, eager for what was to come. 
yet, your hands find his, “let me.”
toto bites his tongue as you carefully undo the buttons of his shirt, his cock twitching, aching for your touch as your fingers delve towards his belt. you unbuckle it, tilting your head back, batting your thick lashes.
fuck. fuck. fuck. 
could this moment last forever? 
“toto.”
“yes?”
“i-i don’t know if i can take it all,” there’s apprehension inflected in your tone, almost as if you were embarrassed, “to be honest, i’ve never–”
oh god. 
this was going to ruin him.
just like he was going to ruin you.
“don’t worry,” a tender hand cups your cheek, the pad of his thumb caressing your cheekbone, “i’ll go slow. i won’t make you take it all. i’ll take care of you baby, i promise.”
you nod, lips pursed as you tug on his slacks, hooking the hem of his boxers, “you’re just so fucking big. like holy shit.”
pride swells within the austrian for a moment, a chuckle rumbling in his chest, “i promise you that it’s not as big as you think.”
“can i see for myself?” the question is so innocent, so pure. 
yeah, he was going to ruin you.
he was going to make a mess out of you. 
“lay down schatzi,” he orders, authority oozing into the words. 
kicking off his slacks, he curses slightly as his boxers stick around one of his ankles. this wasn’t going to be perfect, but he wanted it to be. for you. 
he wanted this to be a moment you remembered for the rest of your life. he wanted this memory to fill your thoughts every second of every day. he wanted you to touch yourself to this, desperate and oh so wet, throbbing for him. yearning for his mouth. for his touch. for him.
carefully, he climbs onto the bed, hovering over you. as you look down, you can feel his gaze searing into you, burning right through. 
his cock was far bigger than your fantasies. it was thick, approximately eight or nine inches. you couldn’t tell. his tip was tinged pink, the glisten of precum catching in the light. veins wrapped around the length, throbbing as your hand wrapped around its base.
“fuck,” as he moans, you lick your lips, realizing how much you loved the sound that just filled your ears, “let me feel you, please.”
“please toto.”
swallowing thickly, he inhales sharply as he positions his tip at your entrance. applying pressure, a whimper rings out as he pushes in, your walls stretching. 
your pussy was heaven. absolutely perfect as it wrapped around his cock, begging for more as he pushed further and further. you were absolutely drenched, the juices slick and oh so sickeningly sweet. he didn’t even have to taste you to know. he just knew you were sweet. like pure ambrosia. 
perhaps he could get a taste.
“toto,” your lashes flutter, his name so perfect from your lips, “you feel–”
“your pussy is perfect,” he finds a steady rhythm, pumping in and out of your tight hole, “absolutely perfect baby. fuck, you’re perfect.”
skin connects with skin, the temperature of the room elevated as his hands found yours, pinning them to the bed. lips collide, the kisses desperate, hungry and bursting with need. as he picks up the pace, moans fill his mouth. 
fuck, it felt like he was going to split you into two. 
“t-toto,” there it was again, his name. music to his ears.
“yes baby?” a sheen of sweat clings to his forehead, tufts of hair dampened, “what is it? does it hurt? do you need me to slow down?”
“no. fuck me. just fuck me.”
oh god. 
oh, fuck. 
his cock twitches, the pleasure building in your abdomen as the tip brushes your g-spot, back arching, begging to be closer. closer to him.
could you be any closer to him in this moment? was it even possible?
before you know it, his arms wrap around your frame, picking you up off the mattress. he holds you close to his chest, one hand holding your head, cupping the back of your skull. the other remains on your lower back, gripping you tightly as the new angle sends bliss rippling all throughout your body.
he fucks you, and god there was no holding back. his cock was pounding into you now, showing no mercy. your ass slaps against his thighs, filthy noises flooding the space. 
as you bounce, you tense, your walls practically squeezing him, “toto, oh my god, i’m going–”
“good girl,” his coos, “be a good girl, baby. cum for me.”
as you get closer and closer, toto watches. fuck, the way your lips were parted ever so slightly. the way hairs clung to your forehead. the way your lashes fluttered. all he could see was pleasure. pure, intense pleasure. 
you unravel, coming undone. 
that sight alone was enough to make him cum.
“come here,” toto hisses through gritted teeth, “come here baby.”
the moment his lips mold with yours, you feel his cock throb, pumping threads of cum into your weeping hole. your muscles spasm, shuddering as he pulls out. 
the two of you study one another for a moment, catching your breath. fingertips brush stray hairs from your temple. 
“i’m sorry.”
“for?” you nuzzle into his collarbone, relishing the way his cologne lingered, mixing with his natural scent. 
“going too far.”
“that was not too far.”
tenderly, the austrian pulls you down with him, letting out a sigh as his head hits the pillow. your head remains against his chest, admiring the definition and tone for a moment. he peppers kisses along your forehead, browbone, and cheeks. 
“if i ever go too far, let me know.”
“i think we’re both in too deep,” you murmur, “you’re lucky you had the blinds drawn.” 
“that would be something,” his chest vibrates as he speaks, “could you imagine? some random mercedes intern witnessing the team principal fucking the most beautiful woman on the planet?”
however, a gleam catches your eye.
on his left ring finger, your heart sinks as you notice the ring. 
his wedding band.
toto senses your silence, the way you tensed up against him, “what is it schatzi?”
“why are you still wearing your wedding band?”
oh, so you had noticed.
“it’s complicated.”
“complicated?” your voice falters as you prop yourself up with your elbow so you could meet his gaze, “you’re wearing your fucking wedding ring. it’s not that complicated.”
“yes, i am, wearing my ring,” he exhales, “would you prefer me to take it off? it has no meaning anymore. susie and i are divorced. we finalized it last december. when we signed the papers, we made a mutual agreement to wear our wedding bands when we were in the public eye. it keeps the speculations at bay. it’s mostly for the sake of my children. and for her sake. we respect one another and i would hate for her hard work to be diminished by rumors and gossip.”
although his words were sincere, your heart races still, anxiety a swirling torrent in your stomach, “how long have you been separated?”
“almost three years. we separated in july of 2021.” 
“oh,” you suck in a breath, shame washing over you, “i-i’m sorry for the sudden questions. i just–”
“it would complicate your feelings for me. and no one wants too mess around with a married man. i get it baby, i really do.”
although he provided a very base-level explanation of his failed marriage, toto was more than willing to go into more depth. that is, if you wanted. more than anything, he wanted you to know. that aspect was becoming increasingly frustrating, as the team principal tried to maintain that dominant, bold, persona.
you were making him weak. his little soft spot. 
well, not so little these days. 
“i cannot stand how well you read me,” rolling your eyes, you turn your back to him.
“don’t turn your back on me now,” he tsks, “do you believe me, schatzi?”
“i don’t think you could ever lie to me.”
“i couldn’t,” toto leans over, placing soft kisses all over your shoulders, “i think it would destroy me. the guilt would be too much to bear.”
“if we’re spilling secrets now,” you roll over, face-to-face once again, “i have another question for you.”
“all right.”
“why did you approach james about my contract behind my back?” 
for once, the team principal is caught by surprise, his heart skipping a beat. 
the hurt plastered across your features is clear, your brows furrowed, eyes narrowed. there’s a glimmer of anguish in their depths, slightly glossy from the threat of tears. 
“i wanted to gauge how he felt if you were to leave williams,” that was the truth, really, no other intentions behind it, “he was not too keen to discuss it, but i just wanted to know how upset he would be if you were to sign with another team. i did it for you, to soften the blow.”
“soften the blow?”
“yes,” toto nods, “to soften the blow when you tell him you’re leaving williams and signing with mercedes.”
“you don’t know that for–”
“but i do,” his voice hardens, “i do know. we can’t just lay here and deny that in your heart, you want to be with me at mercedes. you’ve made the decision already. you just haven’t figured out how you’re going to approach james, alex, or your team.”
biting your tongue, you turn your head, averting his gaze.
toto was right. you had made your decision. 
it was just a matter of time before you had to face the facts. 
“i’m right, aren’t i?” 
“you are,” you huff, squeezing your eyes shut, “i-i just don’t know how to tell everyone. i don’t know how to tell my parents. i don’t know how to bring it up to james. it’s just so.. fuck. it’s so fucking overwhelming to think about.”
“then let me help you.”
“how?” you inquire, “how would you possibly do that?”
“i’ll keep my distance from here on out, but i will help you draft up a letter that you can give to james. or, i can help you practice what you’re going to say. just let me help you schatzi,” fingers grasp your chin, turning your head. 
“you hear me? i’ll help you.”
“can we just worry about it later?” 
“of course,” strong arms envelop your frame, drawing you in against his body, “for now, we can snuggle. would you like that?”
“i would.”
your tough exterior completely crumbles as his mouth hovers by your ear, murmuring words in german. desperately, you ache to know what he said. was it something important? or just sweet nothings? 
sometimes he was a difficult man to decipher.
“hey, have you opened that gift yet? the one i brought to you in jeddah?”
“no,” you admit, heat billowing into your cheeks, “i have a hard time accepting gifts.”
“clearly.”
before you can respond, he’s up from the bed, strolling over to your bags. unzipping your carry-on, he searches for that parcel. fishing it out of your bag, he sets in on the bed, sliding on his boxers before plopping it in front of you.
“open it. right now.”
“right now?” you echo, “toto, i–”
“open it.”
“fine,” nimbly, your fingers untie the bow, peeling away the wrapper. 
underneath the paper, there is a tiny velvet box. it’s long and slender, rectangular in shape.
“what is this?”
“open it and you’ll know,” toto urges, following your every move, anticipating your reaction.
opening the box, your heart swells at the sight before you.
it’s a bracelet, a dainty figaro chain, complete with a charm. the charm is an outline of the saudi arabian track. picking it up, you inspect it, noticing a date engraved on the backside of the charm. 
“how were you able to get this so quickly after the race?” 
“i have my ways,” toto bears a sheepish grin, “do you like it?”
“like it? i love it.”
well, you didn’t love it. you fucking adored it. it was perfect, and so you. it was something that you could wear everyday, a constant reminder of the years of effort to get you here. not to mention it was gorgeous, the chain shiny, freshly polished. 
a hand reaches out, plucking the chain from the box. his brows are knit together with concentration as he slips the chain around your wrist, ensuring it’s safely clasped.
“i figured it would be something you could always wear. a reminder of when you made history.”
“it’s beautiful,” sitting up, you shift your weight to your knees as you wrap your arms around his neck, “thank you, toto.”
“always, schatzi. don’t worry, i will always spoil you.”
as toto nuzzles into the crook of your neck, he was well aware of one thing.
you had made your decision. 
you hadn’t outright said it, but he knew you made your decision. 
you would be signing to mercedes for the 2025 season. 
you were finally going to be by his side every day. 
there was no more in-between. no more will she or won’t she. no more nights of him lying awake, wondering where you stood. no more driving himself insane pondering all of the possibilities that could unravel. 
he had you. 
you were all his now. 
and god, did that leave such a sweet taste in his mouth. 
˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖
taglist: @joalslibrary @martwll @prettiest-at-the-party @pucksandpower @kravitzwhore @toldyouitwasamelodrama @annewithaneofthegreengable @persona1lies @zoeyjadetice2010 @whoisss @sinners-98-world
if i missed anyone, please let me know! also, you are more than welcome to be added to the taglist! thank you for reading! <3
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cuppajj · 2 days
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Beast Ancients AU FAQ
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I’ve seen a lot of asks in my inbox that are identical to each other, so I decided to put em all in one post and then some. This’ll be updated the more I develop the AU and the more info we get.
As a disclaimer, I am very new to CRK (as of December 2023) and I haven’t gotten to all the game or story modes yet (notably odyssey), so things are definitely bound to change + be elaborated on more! Anyway without further ado:
General
What are the Beast Ancients’ themes?
Vanilla is Penance, Lily is Sovereignty, Dragonberry is Pride, Cacao is Solitude, and Cheese is Conquest. I tried to keep them within the realm of their original meanings
Essentially my philosophy is: Penance is the acknowledgment (truth) that sins such as deceit exist in the world and must be cleansed. Sovereignty is an extreme form of freedom where one can have all the agency they wish, but can be just as silent about their presence/power as well. Pride is a byproduct of passion or sloth, boiling down to the adamancy of the subject. Solitude is a choice made with both resolution and apathy in various degrees, and lastly Conquest promises an abundant future at the cost of untold destruction.
If the ancients are bad, are the beasts good?
No, the old Beasts are still a threat. With a total of ten beasts to worry about, the situation on Earthbread is very dire. However, there is still hope left, and hope can go a long way.
Is there a new set of ancient heroes with soul jams?
No, and there likely won’t be. The Neo Beasts and first Beasts still have their respective soul jam halves, and both want each other’s.
Where’s Gingerbrave and his party?
Likely the Crème Republic, which becomes a refuge for many cookies after the rise of the neo beasts. They’re at the front of the resistance movement, working with Clotted Cream Cookie to plan how the beasts will be taken down.
What do the Neo Beasts think of their past selves?
Generally they see themselves as improved or improving. The only one who doesn’t feel that way is Frigid Cacao, who doesn’t reflect on himself that often.
Did they all corrupt at the same time?
Still working on that part. The timeline for beast ancients is a WIP, but for now, it’s likely that while they didn’t corrupt at once, they corrupted pretty close to one another. Cheese was likely first, followed by Lily. Vanilla was among the last to fall and evidently had it the worst.
Do the Neo Beasts still have kingdoms? How is life like there?
Answered here
What are the cookies of darkness doing?
As of writing (5/31/24) we don’t have a lot of info on the cookies of darkness in beast yeast, but at the very least I can say Dark Enchantress cookie may or may not know about Midnight Lily’s plan to destroy her.
How would legendaries react?
I admittedly don’t know everything about the legendaries to say yet, but they’re all alarmed to some degree. I can flesh them out the more I learn about them
Individual Neo Beast questions under cut!
Saint Vanilla Cookie
How do his powers work?
Answered here
Does he know he’s killing cookies?
Nope, he doesn’t see it as that and it would pain him to. He sees purification as a form of transition or ascension in itself, to put it simply; he might even envy those he turns to stardust, knowing his own tainted soul will be so much harder to liberate.
Why is he constantly crying?
He’s just like that. He’s just that big of an empath.
Has his relationship with Lily changed?
Saint Vanilla still cares very much about Lily, and may even be more open about his feelings towards her; but he admits the only reason why she’s still alive is because she convinced him to leave her for last. Lily very well knows that Vanilla, in his delusion, wants to purify her more than anyone else. Vanilla often pities her choice to stew in her tainted soul, but he respects her decision… at least the alternative is that they’ll someday be the only two cookies on Earthbread.
What happened to Black Raisin?
As the very first to witness his rise, she inadvertently became his very first martyr.
Where’s Custard Cookie III?
With his relatives in the Crème Republic, alongside the rest of Gingerbrave’s party. The kid has a hard time wrapping his head around what happened to Pure Vanilla, and it may be a blessing that he’s been largely focused on worrying about the well being of his uncle, Clotted Cream Cookie. As the head of the resistance, he’s been working tirelessly… is this what a king goes through too?
Shadow Milk’s opinion on Saint?
To put it simply, he starts out thinking that a delusional Vanilla will be easy to manipulate, but he soon finds out that Saint Vanilla is way smarter and more aware than made out to be. He knows Shadow Milk is with him, and he wants to purge him from his soul; but that is a process that may be harder than anything else. So in the meantime, Shadow Milk can watch as he continues on his path of Penance towards ascension, fighting back the resistance he creates before it can truly harm him. Essentially, Saint Vanilla isn’t trapped with Shadow Milk, Shadow Milk is trapped with Saint Vanilla.
Dragonberry Cookie
Is the skull on her head real?
Yes! It comes from a nondescript monster.
If Pitaya is imprisoned, where is Snapdragon?
With Tarte Tatin and/or Royal Margarine. Dragon City likely got taken over by Dragonberry’s kingdom, but they noped out of there as it happened. The two of them might’ve been the first few to recognize Hollyberry’s spiral into corruption and where it was headed
How is her family doing?
Alright for the most part, but they can feel Dragonberry’s influence in every aspect of their life now. While Royal and Jungleberry are technically still the king and queen, it’s only a figurehead role as Dragonberry is the true ruler. She still cares about her family very much, but she’s controlling and good at keeping them under her thumb. Dragonberry’s granddaughter Princess Cookie is the only one who objects this new way of life, and runs away from the palace.
How would the other dragons react?
The other dragons aren’t canon to CRK so they’re not canon to the au by extension, but just for this question, they’d be different levels of alarmed or concerned save for maybe Longan. I could see Ananas wanting a word with Dragonberry in particular esp since they’re both prideful cookies
Frigid Cacao Cookie
Does he ever go outside?
Very rarely, but it’s usually to observe the licorice sea or meet with the few denizens he has left.
Where is Dark Choco?
Still working on this part (waiting for Apathy pt 2 to come out so I have a better idea), but he’s likely alone by himself. He heard wind of his father’s corruption though and took it less well than he thought he would. Perhaps he’ll run into someone who feels the same?
Is his permafrost truly permanent or can the frozen citizens be thawed?
Technically yes, the permafrost can be thawed, but it’s a meticulous process since Cacao’s ice isn’t normal ice. It’s a cure that Crunchy Chip is looking for to save Caramel Arrow.
How does the licorice sea work for him and how did he come to tame it?
I can’t say how yet outside of the fact that it was a definitely cool and heroic thing for Dark Cacao to do, on the scale of taming the Black and White dragons. The sea, arguably a sentient monster in itself, and all of the creatures within it came to follow Cacao and Cacao only. Now it almost acts like an extension of himself: the beast can make the sea do whatever he wants, like acting as his shield, arms, or barrier, and the licorice horrors will vehemently defend him. There are tons of monsters roaming his frozen kingdom now.
Mystic Flour’s opinion on Cacao?
Working on it, but to some degree she knows Cacao is much stronger than he looks. She might see his apparent apathy for his frozen kingdom with fondness though.
Celestial Cheese Cookie
Is the Golden City still running or did she leave it to die?
It may still be running but in a scaled-down beta form. Cheese learned to accept the fact that what she’d built was entirely fake, but she didn’t move on from regaining what was lost. Her virtual Golden City serves as a blueprint for the kingdom she wants on Earthbread, and then some; with nothing in the barren desert to grow her kingdom, her brightened eyes turn elsewhere towards civilizations that could be brought into the fold. Such is the beginning of the Beast of Conquest’s terror.
She does sometimes visit her golden city, only sometimes. It doesn’t look the same; it’s not a paradise for her to escape to, but it is a promise of what she will have someday. This time, it will be no mirage, and there will be no one to threaten its destruction ever again.
Midnight Lily Cookie
What is her opinion on dark enchantress cookie?
DE is the source of insecurity for Lily, who regards herself as the weakest among all the beasts. Because she’s half of a complete whole, who was already half of another whole, she is passionate about reuniting her souls. While she is focused on expanding the influence of the faerie kingdom, her true goal is to track down Dark Enchantress Cookie and destroy her; but she knows she will need more help than just herself, and has considered asking for help from other vengeful allies.
Does she still guard the silver tree?
Yes, she still fiercely honors Elder Faerie’s wishes.
Have her relationships with the other neo beasts changed?
Ish, most notably her and Celestial Cheese are a little more on speaking terms; but they’re connecting through their potential partnership as Lily hopes she can help her take down Dark Enchantress. In return, she might help her expand her kingdom and take down Burning Spice.
If more FAQs come up, I will make a part two. Thank you for your interest!
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ahqkas · 1 day
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Speaking as a talkative person when it’s about my interests, I fear I might come off annoying or overbearing..I would like to request something like this with Mattheo. Reader is a very talkative who likes to talk a lot but someone had expressed their annoyance towards her in a rude way and it just ends up with reader stop talking a lot or just stops talking at all. in fear of annoying her koved ones. mattheo notices this and the rest is all to you!
-😕anon
THE SOUND OF YOUR CHATTER ; mattheo riddle
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HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST!
© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified
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THE SHIFT IN YOUR BEHAVIOR DIDN’T ESCAPE MATTHEO’S NOTICE. He had always admired the way your words flowed effortlessly through your lips, filling the air with stories, jokes, and musings. Your voice had a way of brightening even the dullest days of his days, and he found comfort in the sound of your laughter and the tones of your speech. But lately, an unsettling silence had taken its place, and Mattheo couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.
It all began a few days ago during lunch. You had been animatedly recounting a funny incident from Potions class when a sharp voice cut through your story. "Do you ever stop talking? You're so annoying."
The words had hit you like a slap, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment. The table fell silent, and you quickly lowered your gaze, mumbling an apology. From that moment on, a heavy cloud of self-doubt settled over you, stifling your usual chatter.
Mattheo watched as you retreated into yourself, your once lively soul replaced by a disconcerting quiet. He missed the way you used to fill the gaps in conversation, the way you could turn any boring moment into something special with your words. Now, you spoke only when spoken to, your sentences clipped and your tone subdued. It irked your boyfriend to no end, he missed his talkative lover.
One evening, as you sat together in the common room, Mattheo couldn't take it anymore. He moved closer to you on the couch, his eyes filled with concern as his knee bumped into yours. "Hey, can we talk for a minute?"
You glanced up at him from your book, a hint of apprehension in your eyes. "Sure, what's up?"
He took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. "I've noticed you've been really quiet lately. Did something happen?"
You hesitated, the memory of the harsh words still fresh in your mind. "It's nothing. I just . . . don't want to be annoying."
Mattheo's heart ached at your admission. He reached out, gently taking your hand in his and intertwining your fingers together in an embrace. "You're not annoying, love. Not to me, not to anyone who really cares about you."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him, his sincerity breaking through the walls you had built around yourself. "But someone said —"
"I don't care what anyone else said," Mattheo interrupted softly. And he was sincere with you. Always. No one’s opinion about you mattered to him, only his own. He knew how to throw fists, after all. "I miss hearing your pretty voice."
You blinked back the tears, a soft smile tugging at your lips upon hearing his thoughts. "Really?"
"Really," he affirmed, squeezing your hand. "I love hearing you talk. Your stories, your thoughts, your laughter . . . they mean the world to me. Don't let one twat’s rudeness take that away from me. Or I’ll fight for you, princess, oh I will.”
You felt a warmth spread through your chest, the weight of your fears lifting ever so slightly. "Thank you, Mattheo. I needed to hear that."
He smiled, his brown irises shining with affection towards you and mischief. "Anytime. Now, why don't you tell me about that Potions incident you haven’t finished earlier? I could use a good laugh."
With his encouragement, you began to speak again, your words gaining strength and confidence with each passing moment. And as the evening wore on, the common room filled once more with the sound of your voice, a melody that Mattheo cherished more than anything in the world.
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pucksandpower · 1 day
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Could’ve Had It All
Pierre Gasly x social media manager!Reader
Summary: Pierre Gasly has taken a lot from Esteban Ocon over the years … but losing you to him before Esteban ever even really had a chance to have you hurts the most
Based on this request (I wasn’t going to post this yet, but with the news that came out earlier some angst felt fitting)
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Esteban makes his way down the narrow hallway of the Alpine motorhome, his heart pounding in his chest. This is it — he’s finally going to confess his feelings for you. He’s had a crush on you for years, ever since you started working with the team. Your sharp wit, radiant smile, and passion for the sport have captivated him from day one.
As he approaches your office door, he hears a strange noise coming from inside. It sounds like ... moaning? Esteban freezes, his brow furrowing in confusion. What’s going on in there? Against his better judgment, he reaches for the door handle and pushes the door open without knocking.
The sight that greets him makes his heart stop. There you are, pressed up against the wall, your fingers tangled in Pierre Gasly’s messy waves as he trails heated kisses down your neck.
Pierre, his teammate ... his rival ...
“What the hell?” Esteban blurts out before he can stop himself.
You and Pierre break apart instantly, faces flushed with embarrassment and ... something else. Desire? Esteban feels like he’s been punched in the gut.
“Estie!” You exclaim, hastily smoothing down your rumpled clothing. “I ... we ...”
“You two are ...” Esteban can barely get the words out, his mouth suddenly dry.
Pierre straightens up, running a hand through his disheveled hair. There’s a defiant glint in his eyes as he slips an arm around your waist, pulling you close. “Yeah, we are.”
Esteban’s world comes crashing down around him. All this time, he’d been harboring these feelings for you, dreaming of the day he might finally work up the courage to tell you how he felt. And now, to discover that you’re already taken ... and by his own teammate, no less.
“How long has this been going on?” He demands, his voice thick with emotion.
You bite your lip, unable to meet his gaze. “A few months.”
“A few months?” Esteban can’t believe what he’s hearing. “And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“It’s not like that, Esteban,” Pierre interjects, his tone stern. “We didn’t mean for this to happen, it just ... did.”
“Sure, mate. Whatever you say.” Esteban shakes his head in disbelief. He can’t bear to look at the two of you, so intimately entwined. It’s like a knife twisting in his heart.
“Estie, please ...” you begin, taking a step towards him. But he holds up a hand, stopping you in your tracks.
“Don’t,” he says, his voice strained. “Just ... don’t.”
With that, he turns on his heel and storms out of the office, slamming the door behind him. He needs to get out of here, needs to clear his head before he does or says something he’ll regret.
As he stalks through the paddock, Esteban’s mind is a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, hurt, betrayal ... they all swirl together in a toxic mix that threatens to overwhelm him. How could you do this to him? And with Pierre, of all people?
He finds himself wandering aimlessly, his feet carrying him to the Alpine garage without conscious thought. Maybe some mindless work will help take his mind off this mess, at least for a little while.
But as he approaches the garage, he hears a familiar voice calling out to him.
“Esteban! There you are.”
It’s Pierre, jogging to catch up with him. Esteban grits his teeth, steeling himself for the confrontation he knows is coming.
“What do you want?” He snaps, turning to face his teammate.
Pierre holds up his hands in a placating gesture. “Look, I know this is a lot to take in. But you have to understand, what’s happening between me and Y/N ... it’s real, yeah? It’s not just some fling.”
“Oh, spare me the bullshit,” Esteban scoffs. “You’re sleeping with the social media manager, Pierre. How do you think that looks for the team?”
“It’s not just about sex,” Pierre insists, his brow furrowing. “I really care about her. More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time.”
Esteban laughs bitterly. “Right, and I’m supposed to believe that?”
“Believe what you want,” Pierre retorts, his jaw tightening. “But don’t act like you’re some victim in all this. We both know how you feel about her.”
Esteban tenses, hating how transparent his feelings for you have apparently been. “That’s got nothing to do with this.”
“Doesn’t it?” Pierre challenges. “Face it, you’re jealous. You’ve had your eye on her for ages, and now that she’s with me, you can’t handle it.”
“You’re delusional,” Esteban spits, his hands balling into fists at his sides.
Pierre shakes his head, looking almost ... pitying? “Keep telling yourself that, mate. But the truth is, you had your chance with her. And you blew it.”
Those words hit Esteban like a physical blow. Because deep down, he knows Pierre is right. He had been too cowardly, too afraid of ruining your professional relationship to ever make a move.
And now, it’s too late.
“Just ... leave me alone, Pierre,” Esteban mutters, turning away. He can’t bear to look at his teammate’s smug face a second longer.
As he retreats into the garage, Esteban feels a profound sense of loss settle over him. He’s lost you, the woman he’s been pining after for years, to his own teammate and rival. How is he supposed to move on from that? How is he supposed to work alongside you and Pierre every day, knowing what he knows?
The rest of the race weekend passes by in a blur of forced smiles and awkward silences. Esteban does his best to avoid the two of you, throwing himself into his work as a distraction. But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t escape the ache in his heart whenever he sees you both together.
Finally, as the chequered flag waves and the race comes to an end, Esteban allows himself a moment of respite. He sinks down onto a crate in the garage, burying his face in his hands as the weight of his heartbreak threatens to crush him.
“Estie?”
Your soft voice cuts through the chaos around him, and he tenses. Of course you would seek him out now, when he’s at his most vulnerable. He lifts his head, meeting your concerned gaze.
“What do you want?” He asks, his voice dull and lifeless.
You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, clearly struggling to find the right words. “I ... I just wanted to talk to you. About what happened.”
“What’s there to talk about?” Esteban shrugs, feigning indifference. “You’re with Pierre now. End of story.”
“It’s not that simple,” you protest, taking a step closer. “You’re one of my closest friends. I never wanted to hurt you.”
He laughs humorlessly. “Well, you did a bang-up job of that, didn’t you?”
You flinch at his harsh words, and Esteban immediately feels a pang of regret. This isn’t your fault, not really. You can’t help how you feel, just like he can’t.
“I’m sorry,” you murmur, your eyes shining with unshed tears. “I never meant for any of this to happen. But ... Pierre makes me happy. In a way I haven’t felt in a long time.”
Esteban’s throat tightens at your words. Of course Pierre makes you happy. Stupidly handsome, charming Pierre with his easy smiles and effortless charisma. How could Esteban ever hope to compete with that?
“I’m glad he makes you happy,” Esteban manages to choke out, even as the words feel like shards of glass in his throat. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
Your face softens, and you reach out to place a gentle hand on his arm. “You’ll find someone, Estie. Someone who makes you just as happy as Pierre makes me. I know it.”
Esteban wants to believe you, he really does. But in this moment, with his heart shattered into a million pieces, it’s hard to envision a future where he’s anything but hopelessly alone.
Still, he manages a weak smile for your sake. “Yeah, maybe someday.”
You return the smile, giving his arm a reassuring squeeze before stepping back. “I should go find Pierre.”
The words are like a knife to Esteban’s battered heart, but he bites back the anguished retort that rises to his lips. This is your choice, your happiness. As much as it destroys him, he has to respect that.
“Yeah, of course. I’ll see you around, Y/N.”
With one last lingering look, you turn and make your way across the garage, disappearing into the crowd. Esteban watches you go, mourning the future he had allowed himself to dream of — a future where you were his and his alone.
But that future is gone now before it ever had a chance to even take root. All that’s left is an aching emptiness where his heart used to be. Esteban closes his eyes, drawing in a shuddering breath as a single tear trails down his cheek.
It’s over. The woman he loves is lost to him forever. And for the first time in his life, Esteban has no idea how to move forward from here. All he can do is pick up the shattered pieces of his broken heart, and hope that one day, somehow, they’ll mend.
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pinkflower2003 · 1 day
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18
all too well blurb part 4
all too well masterlist
in which the twins turn 18, gaining a new age and a new last name
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GeorgiaAlonso: Alexa, play 18 by One Direction🗣️ what a year, gained a dad, gained a new last name and officially because F1’s princess,in my 18 era, let’s get wasted🩵 oh and happy birthday twin, i love you (other than when ur being annoying)
Y/NLN: happy birthday my baby girl, so proud of you💗 (you’re not getting wasted btw, it’s a family meal we’re having Georgia)
GeorgiaAlonso: oh…Is this a good time to tell you i’ve already started pre-drinking?
Username1: Georgia is such a mood I love her
username2: should she even be drinking? I swear you can’t drink at 18?
Username3: Georgia and AJ live the majority of the time with their mum in the UK, that’s where they go to school so they can drink at 18 - i think Fernando stays there with them a lot now.
AJAlonso: does that officially make me the prince of F1?
GeorgiaAlonso: no the price spot is reserved for Leclerc only, you can be the butler of F1
Username4: she gets the Charles hype, she is one of us
CharlesLeclerc: I was summoned?
GeorgiaAlonso: HI KING👑🫶🏻
username6: EVERYONE STAY CALM, THEY’RE OFFICIALLY GEORGIA AND AJ ALONSO
username7: crying in the club rn WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN
username8: i read somewhere that for their birthdays, the twins wanted to get their surnames changes
FernandoAlonso: My beautiful child, happy birthday mi hija cannot wait to celebrate your amazing day and many more💚
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AJAlonso: Another year older, another year cooler. Happy Birthday twin, at least i’ll always be taller than you.
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GeorgiaAlonso: alright big foot, no need to show off
AJAlonso: did someone say something? oh, sorry didn’t see you all the way down there
GeorgiaAlonso: go fuck yourself
AJAlonso: its my birthday you can’t say that to me, you have to be nice
GeorgiaAlonso: (it’s my birthday too tf) lemme rephrase it - thou should go fuck thyself please and thank you
LandoNorris: @/YN are they always like this? this is highly entertaining
YNLN: @/landonorris if you think this is entertaining please feel free to let them stay at ur house when they’re doing WWE
GeorgiaAlonso: i’m literally John Cena wym💪🏼
LandoNorris: i’ll pass, they’re both taller than me anyway i’m too scared
AJAlonso: @/LandoNorris are you the same height as Georgia? I think last time she measured she was 5’2
LandoNorris: i’m 5’2 and a HALF actually, thank you very much
YNLN: my boy, i love you so much, so proud of everything you have achieved💗 happy birthday! (please stop Georgia from drinking)
GeorgiaAlonso: AJ has literally drank more than me, where do you think all the beers have gone?
YNLN: @/fernandoalonso: sort your children out please, i had them on my own for 17 years now its your turn, but this time with alcohol involved
FernandoAlonso: ayúdame cristo (help me christ)
LanceStroll: i heard there was gonna be a family meal? Where was my invite?
LewisHamilton: and mine?
CharlesLeclerc: and mine?
GeorgeRussell: mine too?
OscarPiastri: I wanna be involved too?
DanielRicciardo: i heard alcohol was involved, when and where?
MaxVerstappen: Can I come?
LandoNorris: Do i mean nothing to you guys? Where was my invite
AlexAlbon: This is a trend i’m joining, where can I get an invite?
FernandoAlonso: no, none of you are invited (except Lance, you can come)
GeorgiaAlonso: WRONG, you can all come, do not listen to that old man, my besties gotta come see me😘
LanceStroll: I just wanted to come for the free food🧐
GeorgiaAlonso: choke
FernandoAlonso: my handsome boy! so proud of everything you do, you and your sister are my greatest achievements💚
AJAlonso: above you World Championship? damn, i’m honoured
FernandoAlonso: forgot about that one, lemme rephrase, *my second great achievements.
AJAlonso: 🤨thinking about changing my name back rn
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YNLN: 18 years ago i gave birth to the most beautiful humans I have ever laid my eyes on. For years, it was just me and you both, you are both the funniest, kindest, smartest people I have ever met, thank you for letting me be your mum, it has been the best job i’ve ever had (but do your own washing now)
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GeorgiaAlonso: the best mama ever🩷 thank you for everything
AJAlonso: the best mum, the best supporter!
FernandoAlonso: thank you for bringing the most beautiful humans into the world💚 they truly are the greatest gift you ever could have given to me, you are the best mother ever x
YNLN: you also gave me the greatest gift, thank you for being such an amazing dad, you’ve made our heart whole again x
username8: get married already
username9: the best F1 family ever !!
DanielRicciardo: MILF
GeorgiaAlonso: DANIEL NO
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FernandoAlonso: as many of you know, this last year I had the honour of getting to know my children Georgia and AJ, my beautiful girl and boy. Today is their birthday, their 18th to be exact, and I couldn’t be prouder of who they have grown up to be. I love you both so much (no matter how sarcastic and chaotic you both are) and I cannot wait to be here for many years to come and see the adults you are and all that you achieve💚
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GeorgiaAlonso: my papa!🫶🏻 does this mean now i can drive ur aston martin?
FernandoAlonso: absolutely not
GeorgiaAlonso: wtf
AJAlonso: thanks dad! but seriously can we drive ur aston martin? Have you seen me karting? i’m so good
FernandoAlonso: still a no
F1: we love the daddy Nando content🫶🏻
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Vampires of a Feather | Yandere Pomefiore
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Think about modern life no magic
And you own an apartment with your loving and adoring boyfriend Rook
Unbeknownst to you 
On one of his oh so familiar nature strolls Rook found himself poking around an abandoned mansion
He won’t bother to say anything about the lovely boy he finds resting in there almost certain a dead body
Such luscious pale skin, such dark lipstick
He feels such beauty deserves a kiss even if their beyond the grave
But he won’t tell you that 
He’ll return home and kiss you as deeply as he does every time he sees you
You two will go on eventually settling down to have dinner 
When you hear something bang against the door
“Uh don’t worry babe, I’ll get it!”
“Be back soon beau trésor!”
Thinking it’s a failed knock you head for the door to open it 
Something small but sturdy whizzes past you 
Ricochetting off the walls and into some boxes you hadn’t unpacked
“Oh my Gosh Rook!”
“Oh my!”
“Ah Rook don’t go over there I think it’s a bat!”
“Oh how cute!”
“Not cute they have rabies!”
Despite your protests he’s forging on with you worriedly at his back
Come to find it’s that fellow from the abandoned mansion
And his name is Epel
“Oi what’s this weird place and why am I around a bunch of humans?”
“It’s a man!”
“Si magnifique! The joli monsieur from the house!”
“From the house?!” 
After explaining himself Epel explains how he a vampire found himself skyrockettng into your home
He unfortunately mistook the pheromone that would have led him to his pod for Rook’s scent
Thus he ended up here
“Vampires travel in pods?”
“Yes that’s how-”
“Like dolphins?”
“I guess…”
“That’s kind of cute!”
“No it’s not!”
“I agree mon chéri!” 
“IT IS NOT CUTE!”
From then on you and Rook help Epel blend in to the modern world
“Come on Epel no need to freak out!”
“No! Keep that terrible creation away from me!”
“It’s only a camera!”
“Come Pomme de poison! It’s a glorious tool (Y/n) and I are intimately close with!”
Slowly getting to a comfortable place where you both share your blood with him within reason
“Mmm Epel?”
“Yes (Y/n)?”
“Do you really need to lick my neck so many times? I’m ready for you to just get it over with.”
“Shhh let me enjoy this! Let me take my time.”
“Well okay…but does Rook have to sit so closely?”
“Don’t mind me, my Love! I’m only enjoying the enticing dance of life happening on your lovely neck!”
It’s only until a while of the domestic life along side him that you come to a sad realization
“Rook…he can’t stay with us.”
“Where is this coming from, mon chéri?”
“I was thinking…Epel’s going to outlive us.”
“Darling.”
“Then he’ll be all alone.”
“(Y/n).”
“We have to help him find his pod.”
Rook’s face drops every time you give him that look
Spending your free time devoting to properties his pod might own 
Your acutely aware that he’s not as enthusiastic 
But this isn’t about him 
This is about Epel
Who in the mean time doesn’t mind finding his pod 
But he doesn’t really care
“I’ve found two humans I like quite a lot. Besides I don’t really care about my pod especially since they’e a bunch of stuffy snobs. But it (Y/n) wants to find them I don’t mind.”
By the time Rook actually gets this from Epel you’ve already sent a letter to the one you’ve tracked down
“(Y/n)--!”
“--We have something to tell you!”
“Oh! Welcome home you two! You’re just in time to meet the vampire I found that's from your pod!”
“Oh no!”
“Wow!”
“Hello again Epel, I’ve come to take you home.”
It’s Vil Schoenheit a reclusive idol that’s supposed to be an old decrepit man you were sending letters with 
But alas he was a vampire 
And a very powerful one at that
He immediately begins critiquing Epel and subsequently Rook
“But at the very least you’ve found some decent hosts…for humans at least.”
“Hey! Don’t talk down to my humans!”
“Your anger is just as unbecoming on you as it was all those centuries ago.”
Ultimately it’s decided by Vil that Epel will be going with him 
To the country he quietly runs, where hundreds of lesser vampires serve him loyally
“I-I’m not going without Rook and (Y/n)!”
“Wait what–”
“C'est mieux que de te traquer!”
“Ugh I understand (Y/n) but this other one I’m not sure.”
Vil since he received your letter had been intrigued
A mere human who was so straight-forward with something many would call conspiracy 
Not to mention he’s absolutely enamored with ‘fixing’ you before properly elevating your status
To a vampire of course
He’ll find out he likes Rook too
but that's later
Until then he’ll just drag him along until Epel looses interest
With a snap of his finger tons of other vampires arrive taking your stuff and loading it in trucks
“Wait hold on! What are you doing?!”
“Do you have problems listening (Y/n)? You are coming with us.”
“But we can’t–We’d never live as long as you, it’s just not right!”
“As humans you won’t but once you’re a vampire that will change.”
“But I don’t want to be–”
“Hush. Rook if you’re good for anything you’ll help (Y/n) pack their bags.”
“Yes my Queen!”
“Rook!!”
No sooner than you could register 
You’re unofficially decided as one of the newest members of their pod
You’d like to think you weren’t alone in this confusion
But Rook doesn’t seem to have any of the same concerns you have
“Oh Epel isn’t this perfect! We’ll become members of your pod with the Queen!”
“Ugh! Not you too! I’ve got to make sure he doesn’t ruin you and (Y/n) completely.”
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b14augrana · 14 hours
Text
‘Scrubber’
Before you fly out for the Spain camp, you make the most of your ‘last day’ in Barcelona
Barça Femení x teen!reader
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pt. 5 masterlist
Warnings: ✖️
A/N: a bit of a longer update than usual, but here’s the fridolina content people have been waiting for 🐾 sorry about this being a bit boring, it ends up being like that when bebita isn’t playing a game and making crazy tackles, but it’s not too far away from happening 💝
“Ale, you liar! You said we were leaving today!” you grumbled, wheeling your suitcase back to your room. Your backpack landed with a thud on the ground beside the suitcase, and you trudged back to the woman in the living room. “Don’t twist my words. I just told you to pack so you’re prepared for when we do leave, since you like to leave things till the last minute.”
“We’ve still got to walk downtown with all the trophies, chiquita,” Alexia added.
“So then when are we leaving?” you asked, and she responded with, “Tomorrow night… maybe. Remember, you’ve got school today as well. You wouldn’t had time to pack anyways and I did you a favour.”
“Whatever, I get it. Can we go now? Where’s Irene?” you said, walking out of your bedroom with Alexia. You two entered the kitchen and saw Irene sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of cereal.
���Ireeni,” you exclaimed, basically jumping onto the couch. She clutched her almost-empty bowl and laughed, “I could’ve spilled my cereal, nenita.”
“There‘s barely anything in it,” you replied, rolling your eyes and shuffling closer to her.
You were really tired for some reason. The fatigue of the last few days was seemingly catching up to you, and all you wanted to do was crawl into bed and stay there. Alexia wouldn’t let you do that though. She wanted you to come and walk with the trophy you helped the team earn, but you thought she was just giving you way more credit than what was due at that point.
“Ale, I didn’t even do much to be carrying the trophy!” you argued, but she looked at you with an eyebrow raised and a small smile. “Don’t be silly, you’re too humble. You did everything.”
“(Y/N), Fridolina said she is going to pick you up from here and take you downtown for breakfast,” Irene said, looking up from her phone.
You nodded happily. Fridolina was one of your most favourite people in the world. You always looked forward to café dates with her in downtown Barcelona, and she knew you better than you knew herself. She was like a mother to you.
A knock rung through the house, and you almost slipped while sprinting to the door. You wrenched it open and revealed the tall Swede on the other side of the door, smiling down at you. “Frido!”
“Hi kärlek, how are you?” the woman asked, engulfing you in a hug. “I’m good. I’ll just grab my shoes and then we can go, vale?”
“Vale,” Fridolina laughed. As you ran to your room to grab a pair of sneakers, she spoke to Irene and Alexia for a little bit. “Okay, I’m ready,” you said, emerging from your bedroom.
Fridolina waved goodbye to Irene and Alexia. You turned around and said goodbye to them as well, and then you walked out of Irene’s apartment. You two took the elevator down to the complex parking lot, and while you were stepping out of the elevator, you spoke. “Where are we going today, Frido?”
“Our usual spot. I figured you might want one of their pastries to get you going,” she smiled, opening up the door to her car, “Oh, by the way, I’m taking you to school today. I just talked about it with Irene and Alexia.”
You sat in the passenger seat, stretching out your legs, “That’s cool. Can I stay at your house tonight? I’ve been at Irene’s all week,” you asked. Fridolina nodded as she started up her car and reversed out of the car park. “Do you have clothes?”
“Oh shit, that reminds me… I have to go tomorrow. My suitcase is at Irene’s!” you exclaimed with a groan.
“It’s okay, you can always sleep over another time. That doesn’t mean you can’t stay for a bit, I can drop you off to Irene’s if you want to hang around,” Fridolina suggested.
“Perfect. Gracías, Frido!”
The rest of the car ride consisted of small conversations and a bit of singing along to the radio until Fridolina found a parking spot on the side of the street. You hopped out of the car and skipped around to the other side, then you walked into the café with Frido.
“So, how are you feeling? Are your legs alright after all those tackles?” the Scandi asked as you two sat down at a table, “I always forget you’re only 16.”
“My legs are alright for the most part. I guess the win cancels out all the bruises and grazes,” you giggled in response.
Fridolina smiled at you and added, “I’m glad you’re feeling well. You really impressed us all last Saturday. You kept us in the game.”
Your cheeks flushed a pale pink and you looked down at the table, smiling shyly, “It was all Aitana. She gave us the momentum.”
You examined the menu and tried to decide what to order. Frido discussed it with you and when you two settled on your orders, you went to the cashier and bought the food.
You had ordered a couple of almond croissants, an Earl Grey tea, and a grilled cheese. Fridolina got a coffee with a Boston cream donut on the side. While going extremely slowly, you walked over to the table with your food in hand and Fridolina’s in the other. As you placed it down and got back in your seat, she spoke.
“So, are you excited for the Olympics?” she asked, stirring her coffee and taking a sip. You took a bite out of your grilled cheese and nodded, saying between a mouthful, “Really excited.”
It was your first ever Spain call-up. Most people were a bit surprised as they expected you to have experience playing with Spain’s youth teams, and you received invites to the teams, but since you started playing for Barcelona at such a young age, your agent told you to turn them down. Somehow he knew that you’d get a call-up to the senior team not long after, and he was right.
You confided in Mapi, asking her about what she thought was the best decision to make since she had withdrawn from the national team. Despite the new management and Mapi’s reassurance you still weren’t completely sure, but you pushed it aside for the opportunity to win Olympic gold.
“What if we verse each other, Frido?” you said, thinking about the possibility. The Swede placed her cup of coffee down and leaned back in her chair and responded, “Then you treat me like any other opponent.”
“But you’re Frido, not any other opponent,” you replied.
“To you I’m Frido, but to the rest of your team I’m the rival, and they’re trying to beat me. You aren’t playing for Barcelona at the Olympics, you’re playing for Spain,” she said with a smile, taking a little bite out of her donut. She offered you some, but you declined with a quiet ‘thank you’.
As you two ate your meals, your conversation switched from that of football to more general things up until you finished your food and decided to go home. You considered going back with Frido, but you didn’t want to get too tired and annoy Alexia the next morning, when you couldn’t wake up in time, so you didn’t say anything and let her take you home.
Frido walked you to Irene’s apartment and knocked on the door. When Irene opened the door, she was met with you standing beside the Scandi, smiling brightly with both your arms wrapped around one of Frido’s. “Nenita, you’re back,” Irene exclaimed.
“I hope she didn’t blow too much of your money, Fridolina,” Irene continued with a laugh, and Fridolina laughed as well, shaking her head. “Don’t worry, she’s learning the value of it.”
“Bye bye kärlek,” Frido said, wrapping you in a warm hug. You hugged her back tightly, saying goodbye and running inside while her and Irene said bye to each other. “Where’s Ale? I thought she was staying for the day,” you spoke, flopping onto the couch.
“The trophy walk, remember? She’s meeting Fridolina, Patri and Sandra at headquarters,” Irene explained.
“Why aren’t you with them?” you questioned, looking at her with a confused expression.
“Because we’re going together. Come on, get your ‘Movem El Món’ shirt and get in the car,” the Basque replied, shaking her car keys. You completely forgot about the trophy walk and you were kinda hoping Irene forgot about it as well so you wouldn’t have to go, but you trudged to your room and snatched up the shirt anyways.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your school either!” Irene yelled from the living room. That was another thing you wish she had forgotten but the one thing you know she’d never forget.
The trophy walk was pretty straightforward. Alexia thrusted the Champions League into your arms and made you parade down the street with the silverware, showing it off. You did enjoy it, but it wasn’t worth the ache in your shoulders.
Irene let you skip your classes, and she took you straight home. She could see the exhaustion in your eyes, and she didn’t want you to suffer the consequences of being tired and unable to wake up when Alexia came to pick you up the next morning.
You skipped dinner, instead beelining straight to your room. You felt like a zombie, but you liked that kind of tiredness — it made sleeping feel way better than usual. As soon as your head touched the pillow, you were sound asleep.
Irene even did your Hay Day login for you.
Alexia had been the one to ruin your sleep since Irene had opted to travel with Mariona and Sandra. She shook you gently and was very surprised when she didn’t have to bang pots and pans. “Nena, I made breakfast for you. Come out when you’re ready, vale?”
You nodded slowly and rolled over, pulling the duvet to your chin and sighing deeply. At that point you were fully awake, you just wanted to soak up the warmth of your sheets.
You sat up on your bed, rubbing your eyes. You looked directly at the poster of Vidić stuck on your wall, your eyes lingering on it for a moment longer than usual. You looked at the picture of him holding up the UCL, knowing you felt the same euphoria just a few days ago as you held the trophy for the same title, all because you managed to capture his essence and make it part of your play style. It was amazing what a notable inspiration could do for you.
You emerged out of your room and sat at the bench, resting your head in the palm of your hand as Alexia pushed a plate of strawberry-topped waffles towards you with a smoothie. “Our flight has been rescheduled. We have to be at the airport in a couple of hours, sí?”
You nodded once again, taking a bite of the waffles.
“By the way, both our matches are against Denmark,” she added, putting some waffles on a plate for herself. “What’re we versing Denmark for? I didn’t know they qualified for the Olympics,” you mumbled.
“They didn’t. It’s for the Euros,” Alexia laughed, pulling out a stool and sitting beside you. The Euros had totally slipped your mind.
“There’s so many tournaments going on, I can’t keep up!” you sighed, shaking your head.
“You’ve been playing too much Hay Day, it’s gotten to your head. Maybe give Bagheera Land a break until we come back to Barcelona,” the Spaniard joked with a gentle nudge to your side, and you smiled.
“Even though you’re playing for the national team and there’s a lot of important tournaments coming up…” Alexia started, pausing to chew her food. You looked at her curiously as you also chewed your food.
“…You’re allowed to make mistakes because you’re still young. All of us have been where you are right now, but none of us were as talented as you. Cree en ti misma, mi chica, y florecerás.”
You had made as many daring tackles as it took to lead your club to glory for the third time in a row and complete a historical quadruple. On top of that, you had partaken in defeating the club your team has never been able to beat in a final. Winning Olympic gold with a World Cup winning nation is nothing compared to that.
“Venga, let’s get our stuff together and call the taxi. The earlier we get there, the more time we have to wander the airport without rushing,” Alexia announced as you put the last bite of food into your mouth and sipped the remaining amount of your smoothie. She grabbed your plate and put it on top of hers, then walked over to the sink and quickly washed them.
You wheeled your suitcase out to the living room and put your other bags on top of it, waiting for Alexia to grab her backpack. When she swept it up from the couch, you pulled the handle of your suitcase up. “I’m ready!”
Alexia smiled at you and nodded towards the door, “Vamos, estrella.”
You couldn’t wait to get on the plane just so you could pull out your neck pillow and have the best nap of your life. You were constantly checking the time, counting down the minutes until the gate opened.
The original plan was for the whole national team to travel on one plane together, but somehow, all the Barça girls including yourself ended up on the team commercial plane. You preferred it, because you wanted to properly meet the team and not on a plane when all you want to do is sleep.
You settled into your seat and quickly grabbed your neck pillow. The airline gave you a complimentary regular pillow as well, which you hugged tight. By the time you opened your eyes and sat up with a yawn, looking out of the window with squinted eyes, you weren’t in Barcelona anymore.
You were approaching Denmark. As the plane descended and got closer to land, a mixture of nerves and excitement formed in your stomach.
The last time you felt so nervous, you won a Champions League title. You were scared but you did it anyways, and that’s what you’d have to do when meeting your teammates for the first time and then playing against Denmark with them.
Do it anyways.
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fanaticsnail · 3 days
Note
I fell asleep with spotify on and woke up to sea shanties. And in that honor:
Roronoa Zoro loves to drink. Everyone knows this. His high alcohol tolerance means he can usually keep himself in a pleasantly fuzzy state.
Still, there are times where he gets properly drunk. Absolutely blackout sloshed. And this poses the question of what to do with him? How to care for him?
That is, until Sanji joins the crew. See, the rest of the strawhats may be new to this sailing business, but not Sanji. Sanji was raised by pirates on the sea. Rowdy, fun loving, drink loving pirates. And he knows exactly what to do with a drunken sailor.
Snhsiwbehei this is so stupid. Just a silly thing that crossed my mind.
-♡♡ lots of love
Anything for you, ♡♡ Anon. What shall we do with the drunken sailor, indeed? I saw your ask about still thinking on the lazy sleeping Zoro. Thought I'd add a little more lazy swordsman in there for you.
Until The World Stops Spinning
Masterlist Here
Word Count: 1,000+
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Synopsis: You have just come off watch-shift, just as Sanji wanders onto the top deck of the Going Merry. Both of you discuss what to do about Zoro's current state of inebriation. What shall we do with the drunken swordsman...
Themes: Zoro x reader, subtle sanji x reader, drunkenness, smoking, drinking, sleeping, written with the sea shanty "What shall we do with the drunken sailor" in mind.
Notes: I listen to shanties all the time when I write. It's seriously such a vibe. This anon comes up with the best prompts, and I seriously can't. Edit to add: That version above by The Irish Rovers is what I used to dance to when I did Irish dancing as a child. One of the old tunes that made me want to play violin.
Tag List: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @gingernut1314 @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @since-im-already-here @sordidmusings @writingmysanity
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Gulls singing their sweet song of the morning lingered in the air, the perch of several flocking members sat proudly atop the top mast of the Going Merry. The chef serving beneath the Straw-Hat captain wandered on the deck to enjoy his morning cigarette after setting aside the morning crepe batter to rise. What greeted him in the morning light was a sorry sight to behold.
The puddle of drool pooling from the corner of the sword wielding first mate’s mouth was indication enough that he was past the point of no return in his drunken stupor. His snore rattled and shook the top deck, the wood almost cracking beneath the intensity of the roar falling from his parted lips. 
Standing over the first mate, arms folded in twine, stood the Going Merry’s latest member: the ship's counselor. 
“Mornin’ chef,” you utter without turning away from the snoring first mate. Sanji pouted with a deep frown while placing the filter of his cigarette between his lips. 
“Good morning, counselor. Good watch shift?” Sanji uttered while striking his flint and lighting the end of his cigarette. You nod, both of you not tearing your eyes away from Zoro as the deep rise and fall of his chest indicated traces of life within his death-like slumber. 
“Not a single thing to report, aside from this thing here, of course,” you uttered, gently tapping your toes against Zoro’s thigh as he slept soundly. Sanji inhaled a lengthy breath of his morning nicotine, exhaling down at the swordsman with a soft scowl on his face. 
“How many'd he have?” Sanji asked tilting his head and examining Zoro as his shaky snore. 
“Around five or six, I think,” you bob your head before further clarifying, “Bottles, not short rounds.” Sanji clicked his tongue at the confirmation, gently shaking his head. 
You turn towards the blonde chef, furrowing your brows and looking at him inquisitively. 
“Chef?” you quirked up at him, prompting him to turn towards you in response, “You've probably had the most experience with inebriated sea-folk. Any quick remedies you can think of for this?”
“I can think of a few cures from the tales of old,” Sanji chuckled, his smile turning more playful with each passing moment. “Shave his belly with a rusty razor comes to mind.” You scoff at him, rolling your eyes with a soft chuckle. 
“Zoro's stomach is as smooth as a baby bird,” you laugh at him, “Not a hair to rid him of, rusty razor and all.” Sanji hummed, pressing his index finger to his chin and thinking further. 
“Put him in the longboat ‘til he's sober is the next classic suggestion,” Sanji took a moment to take a lengthy drag with a deep chuckle, “Or: stick him in the scupper with a hosepipe bottom, is another.”
“The Going Merry has no long boat,” you shrug, looking down at the snoring former pirate hunter and lulling your head to the side, “And I don't think he'd very much enjoy a swift spanking on the meat of his ass with a rubber pipe, in his current state.”
Sanji laughed in a loud and unbridled laugh, placing the cigarette on the ground and dulling it's light with the ball of his foot. 
“Put him in bed with the Captain's daughter, then?” Sanji chuckled in glee, softly nudging your shoulder with his, “That's the only other option in the tales and shanties.” You nudge him in return before nuzzling your head against his bicep. 
“While stringing him upside down by his ankles on the topmast is awfully tempting,” you remove your head from Sanji's arm, “We're better off just moving him and putting him to bed to sleep it off, aren't we? Wanna give me a hand, handsome?” 
“Not really,” Sanji shrugged with a soft chuckle before reaching down and grappling one of Zoro’s heavy legs, “But I will because you asked me so nicely.” You shake your head, reaching down and aiding Sanji in bearing the brunt of the swordsman’s weight to take him below deck where the others began to stir from their sleep. 
As Nami got up from the only bed, Usopp and Luffy rising from the hammocks, you gently aided Sanji in placing Zoro beneath the plush duvet and atop the mattress still warm from Nani's body heat. Shaking her head, Nami fishes a bucket from the side of the room and places it by Zoro’s head. 
Stirring briefly from his drunken stupor, Zoro’s blurred and swirling vision glared up at you all before his gaze softened into a lazy smile. 
“I… I love you guys,” Zoro’s soft, drunken drawl lazily called to you all before turning to gaze at you, “Ya’ done with the nigh’ sh-shift, ‘Selor? Gonna snooze?” 
You look over at the crew, gently giving Sanji's arm a squeeze before he turns to begin breakfast for the crew wandering atop the deck. He smiled in response, gently bobbing his chin up and wordlessly telling you to get some sleep. 
“Yeah, swordsman. I'm gonna 'snooze',” you confirm with him, turning to the hammocks and beginning to choose from the three suspended bed-spaces. Before you were able to move away from Zoro’s bedside, his muscular arms shoot out and snake around your midsection, tugging you into a warm embrace beside him. 
Nuzzling into your hair, he takes a lengthy inhale and groans in joy at the body heat radiating from you.
“S’ay w’th me?” he slurred in question, already beginning to fall into slumber with you tucked in his arms. “Only ‘til th’ room s’ops spinnin’?” Facing away from him, you shake your head with a light smile before moving the duvet up to cover the both of you. 
“Sure, Zoro,” you already feel the weight of your eyelids weighing you down the longer you linger in his embrace, “Only until the room stops spinning.” Both falling asleep almost immediately, a soft shutter of a Den-Den image conductor could be heard mixing with the harmonious snores reverberating within crew quarters.
Nami was going to hold those images over the both of you as ransom for more of a cut from your joint haul on this upcoming adventure. You both slept soundly enough to not care, dreaming of what new horizons lay waiting for you.
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Fyodor and the Devil: Analysis of Fyodor's motives and role in the narrative
Asagiri has stated that he based Fyodor not on Dostoyevsky the author but on a specific scene from one of his books The Brothers Karamazov where Ivan Karamazov confronts “the devil” in his room.
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(It's a really good book, you should read it if you have time. Also. fun fact, Fyodor and the devil wear the same hat, “His soft fluffy white hat was out of keeping with the season.”)
Having read the book and gone over this scene, I realized that this could be used to find out a lot more about Fyodor as a character than we see in the story, including a potential glimpse at his real motivations.
A bit of context for the scene. Ivan Kramazov is a clever but deeply trouble man who has struggling with the concept of God and rationalising him with the cruelty of humanity, at one point while very sick, Ivan starts seeing a man in his room who claims to be “the devil”. Their conversation is a fascinating look at morality and why evil exists in the world, and if you look at it closely it reveals a lot about the role of a “villain” in a story.
This line from “the devil” is really interesting to me, and seems to explain a lot about Fyodor’s character, as well as align perfectly with how Asagiri has described Fyodor in interviews:
Before time was, by some decree which I could never make out, I
was predestined 'to deny' and yet I am genuinely good-hearted and not at all inclined to negation.
'No, you must go and deny, without denial there's no criticism and what would a journal be without a column of criticism?' 
Without criticism it would be nothing but one 'hosannah.' But nothing but hosannah is not enough for life, the hosannah must be tried in the crucible of doubt and so on, in the same style. But I don't meddle in that, I didn't  create it, I am not answerable for it. Well, they've chosen their scapegoat, they've made me write the column of criticism and so life was made possible.
Basically the devil is saying that he was created because without evil then good means nothing, if everything was perfect then nothing would happen or change, life couldn’t exist, so he was forced to be that evil even though he never wanted to be.
This is so similar to how Fyodor is described in the BSD exposition 2020:
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Fyodor is the antagonist, he is the villain of the story, that is the role he plays. This explains why he chooses to commit so many atrocities in the name of  “following God's plan”. It even connects to his line in The Dead Apple, and his ability name. He is both crime and punishment, as “crime” or sin originates with the devil, but it's also the devil who punishes sinners.
(I mean the title of the episode he is introduced in is literally “My Ill Deeds Are the Work of God” by committing evil acts he is fulfilling God's purpose for him.)
And if Fyodor is really based on “the devil” it's very likely he also either does or used to wish for release from this role that was assigned to him, but he knows that he cannot stray from his path or the story will cease to exist. My evidence for Fyodor wanting to be free of his mission is just one interaction, when he kills Karma.
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Look at Fyodor's expression here, this is the only time in the entire series where we see him look truly sad. This isn't an act, there is no one there for him to trick, he simply says a quiet prayer for the life of a boy who's only purpose was to suffer and die.
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This next part of “the devils” speech actually seems to fit very well for Dazai, it's interesting since he is the narrative foil to Fyodor and clearly is a very similar character.
We understand that comedy; I, for instance, simply ask for annihilation. No, live, I am told, for there'd be nothing without you.
If everything in the universe were sensible, nothing would happen. There would be no events without you, and there must be events. So against the grain I serve to produce events and do what's irrational because I am commanded to.
For all their indisputable intelligence,men take this farce as something serious, and that is their tragedy. They suffer, of course... but then they live, they live a real life, not a fantastic one, for suffering is life. Without suffering what would be the pleasure of it? It would be transformed into an endless church service; it would be holy, but tedious. But what about me? I suffer, but still, I don't live. I am x in an indeterminate equation. I am a sort of phantom in life who has lost all beginning and end, and who has even forgotten his own name. 
This ties perfectly into Dazai and Fyodor’s debate on the nature of God in the sky casino arc.
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Dazai here points out that it's not perfection and harmony that make the world move, it's the irrational, it's the foolishness and stupidity of humans who charges into life making a million mistakes but always finding ways to fight on through it. Here Dazai and Fyodor represent the conflicting sides of “the devil” with Fyodor embodying his mission to drive the world and Dazai embodying his secret love for, and wish to join, humanity.
“I love men genuinely, I've been greatly calumniated! Here when I stay withyou from time to time, my life gains a kind of reality and that's what I like most of all. Yousee, like you, I suffer from the fantastic and so I love the realism of earth. Here, with you, everything is circumscribed, here all is formulated and geometrical, while we have nothing but indeterminate equations! I wander about here dreaming. I like dreaming. Besides, on earth I become superstitious. Please don't laugh, that's just what I like, to become superstitious. I adopt all your habits here: I've grown fond of going to the public baths, would you believe it?
And I go and steam myself with merchants and priests. What I dream of is becoming incarnate once for all and irrevocably in the form of some merchant's wife weighing eighteen stone, and of believing all she believes. My ideal is to go to church and offer a candle in simple-hearted faith, upon my word it is. Then there would be an end to my sufferings.”
“"Why not, if I sometimes put on fleshly form? I put on fleshly form and I take the consequences. Satan sum et nihil humanum a me alienum puto."*
* I am Satan, and deem nothing human alien to me.”
This piece from the devil feels like it could be a description of Dazai’s character, his wish above all else to find happiness and love as a human despite believing he is a demon. Both Dazai and Fyodor have strong ties to the Devil, both of them are often described as demonic or inhuman, with emphasis placed on the darkness of their souls and the isolation they feel due to their minds.
But the difference between them is how they dealt with it, Fyodor chose to embrace it and fully commit to his role in the story as the ultimate evil for the greater good, but Dazai has always shown a fasciation with humans and has spent his life trying to connect to them and find meaning in his existence.
Finally, let's look at what we can learn about Fyodor’s motivation. Fyodor is the villain, he is the final obstacle the protagonist has to overcome, he is the driving force behind so much of Atsushi’s life and the reason so much of the series has played out at all. He sent Shibusawa to torture Atsushi as a child, he was an informant to the guild who put the bounty on Atsushi making the mafia turn on him, he was involved in the guild invasion, and obviously he was the master mind behind cannibalism and Decay of Angles.
If he is aware of his position as the antagonist, then he also is probably aware Atsushi is the protagonist, he knew he was the “envy of all ability users” after all, so he knows Atsushi has some significance to the world as a whole.
Atsushi is also the “guide to the book” which is seemingly Fyodor’s end goal, so even though Fyodor doesn’t seem to be focused on Atsushi, he has been indirectly influencing his whole journey up to this point. This also explains why Fyodor is only moving actively now, because the protagonist has appeared and his role as the villain can finally be fulfilled and he, like “the devil” can finally get the “annihilation” he asked for. Hence, Fyodor’s true goal is to erase himself from the narrative.
There is actually quite a lot of evidence for this. The obvious part is that Fyodor wants to rid the world of ability users while he himself is an ability user, he cannot exist in his perfect world. 
Then there’s the fact that in the Dead Apple, Fyodor calls himself “crime” if Fyodor is “crime” or “sin” then a world free of sin would not contain him at all
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Even when Fyodor talks about sin, he says how humans are easily manipulated into killing each other, while he constantly manipulates characters into killing each other, he is the cause of the sin he fights.
A really strong bit of evidence is this interview with Asagiri and Harukawa
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Not only does Asagiri reiterate Fyodors role as the person who moves the story, Harukawa specifically mentions that Fyodor might be trying to create a world without ability users because he thought it was a “bad thing to do” aka the action a villain would take that would lead to a hero stopping them.
“Dos-san is the biggest villain in the story so far, but I have continued to draw him with spaced out eyes that are neither righteous nor evil for a long time. The only time I drew his eyes completely white was when he said he would create a world without skill users. It was because, in reality, we would decide what is evil or not by our own scales, but I wasn't sure if he himself was doing it because he thought that was a bad thing to do.”
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This also connects to how Fyodor was able to understand Gogol when no one else could, Gogol is chooses to fight against the way the world is to prove to himself that he truly is free. Fyodor, who is bound to play a part in a narrative, would understand that feeling and that longing to be truly free.
To be clear, I don’t think that Fyodor is really a good person whose just been trapped in an awful position against his will, we see many times that Fyodor revels in his cruelty and enjoys killing and torturing others. Its the same with “the devil” in the book, although he hates the job he was given, he tells Ivan stories of the people he’s corrupted and seems very proud of himself for it.
My personal interpretation is that the sadistic zelot personality Fyodor displays is a mixture of a mask and a coping mechanism, kind of similar to Yosano developing a sadistic side to help her deal with the guilt of half killing people in order to heal them. I think it makes sense that after centuries of cruelty and manipulation a person would become detached and stop really caring about the lives he destroys.
This analysis is partially unfinshed but I wanted to post it now and see what other people think of it.
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littletism · 2 days
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what my life is like as a permaregressor, and common misconceptions!
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cw: long post!
being a permaregressor i think is sometimes viewed as a want by a lot of people in the community. i see many posts of people saying they wish they were permaregressors, how awesome life would be to be one, etc.
and that's fine! im not here to tell you i hate my life as a permaregressor, far from it. but it's definitely not all sunshine and rainbows, at all.
for those who don't know, i am a teen permaregressor. bodily i am 20 years old, but i am permanently regressed to about 13-16. this means i never really leave this headspace. i never grew up.
so, what's it like? not really all that different from the life of any other adult, really. i'd say the big major differences are that i don't feel like i relate to any other adults around me, and i have a more childlike/naive view on a lot of things than other people my age. i'd say it pretty heavily affects my stress levels though. i am also wildly more immature than people my age.
do i have the ability to act my age? absolutely. masking is a thing permaregressors are more than capable of doing. i have to mask in order to get through life, especially as someone who works full time to provide for myself and help out my family with bills and such.
it's really hard being a permaregressor in the real world, though. i have a pretty busy life outside of tumblr, i work, i take care of my pets, i see my family often, i go out with friends often, i do the grocery shopping for the house by myself a lot of the time, etc! its really quite stressful to do all of these big adult tasks when you feel smaller than everyone around you.
one big problem i see permaregressors who are bodily adults face, is the constant Infantilization we receive, often from other regressors. because we never fully leave our headspaces, we're told we can't do adult things because we can't consent (ex; to things like alcohol or drugs or other adult stuff). this is horrendously untrue, and many of us do not want to be treated like we're actual children. many of us WANT to lead normal adult lives. of course i want to be treated like im little when im regressed to a toddler or a kiddo, of course i wouldn't want to do adult stuff in THOSE headspaces, because they aren't permanent! i'm stuck like this for the rest of my life, and i shouldn't let it define me or force me to be a certain way. im bodily an adult and therefore i expect to be treated like one when in my permaregressed headspace.
i truly do believe this community should be a bit more educated on permaregression. i think people definitely look at it with rose-colored glasses. i also hope no one, especially other permaregressors, found this post to be too pessimistic! i love being a permaregressor, and i think everyone who is one should be allowed to love being one as well.
xoxo
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