Sleeping with a friend - Neon Trees for Max???
Summary: You and Max are friends with benefits.
Warnings: fluff, mentions of sex
Word count: 1.5k
All my friends, they’re different people
Anxious like the ocean in a storm
When we go out, yeah, we’re electric
Coursing through our bodies ’til we’re one
If you think about it, that's how you met. Nightlife characterizes you, but what to do when you live in Monaco, right? In Monaco, there is no difference between days of the week. Tuesday may very well be Saturday because you were in the club every night.
You were alone every night. You didn't go out to the club with any of your friends. You were not afraid to go out alone every night, although everyone lists all the negative aspects that come with this wildlife you lead.
You were in the club on a Sunday after the Monaco Grand Prix. You were not interested in Formula 1 races but the new faces that were in the club peeked your attention. Especially a certain guy who didn't seem to know what water was.
You were at the bar, ordering a cocktail when he came to get, you guessed it, another beer because that's what you saw he drank all night.
He introduced himself and said that his name was Max.
That night you talked until dawn, exchanging phone numbers at the end.
The year was 2015.
And why mess up a good thing, baby?
It’s a risk to even fall in love
So, when you give that look to me
I better look back carefully
‘Cause this is trouble, yeah this is trouble
Why risk a friendship by turning it into a romantic relationship that will likely eventually fail?
So when you realized that you were starting to have feelings for him, you proposed to him what, for you, was the next best thing.
You spent many months in denial.
Have feelings for your best friend?
What would this mean for you?
It would mean that everything would become very strange between you until you get to the point where you will no longer meet each other and you'll stop talking. You will no longer be friends because he does not like you. Not in the sense that you like him, at least.
So you took your heart in your teeth and when he had a break during the season and came to Monaco, you proposed to him to become friends with benefits.
Of course, you didn't tell him that you came up with this idea because you started to develop romantic feelings for him. You told him you missed having sex and you had no one. Which, if you look at what you just said, wasn't a lie. You didn't have a boyfriend, you didn't talk to anyone, although you attribute this last thing to the fact that you had Max non-stop in your mind so that any thought about another man simply disgusts you.
To your surprise, he accepted relatively quickly. You expected him to refuse you immediately and be disgusted by your proposal, but he didn't need much time to think. He said he doesn't have a girlfriend and he doesn't talk to a girl either, so this thing can be a win-win for both of you.
I said ooh, ooh
You got me in the mood, mood
I’m scared, but if my heart’s gonna break
Before the night will end
I said, ooh, ooh we’re in danger
Sleeping with a friend, sleeping with a friend
Sleeping with a friend
What is Friends with Benefits?
A friends with benefits relationship is one in which two people are physically intimate with one another, yet they’re not committed to each other in any way. People involved in a friends with benefits relationship clearly enjoy spending time together, but their relationship isn’t romantic and has no strings attached.
It’s a fool’s arrangement.
There is one basic problem with FWB relationships: keeping a physical relationship platonic is exceptionally tricky.
You hang out with each other as friends, and you have sex as if you are a couple.
You are half a step away from being a couple but just too afraid to be one.
Then one of you catches feelings and the other does not, because, well, after all, you are being a couple in nearly every way except calling yourself one.
It was hard to stop your feelings from developing. Max was a great guy and you felt really good about him. Not to mention that sex with him was phenomenal. But how do you deal with these feelings?
It was too much for you. You've never felt for another man what you felt for Max, and that scared you. You were damn scared because no matter how much you loved him, you couldn't risk losing him.
The year was 2017.
All my friends, stay up past midnight
Looking for the thing to fill the void
I don’t go out much like I used to
Something ’bout the strangers and the noise
And why leave when I got you, baby?
It’s a risk but babe, I need the thrill
I never said you’d be easy
But if it was all up to me
I’d be no trouble, hey, we’re in trouble
The club was where you saw her uninhibited. In the club and in the bedroom. But the way he waved his body at the music was enough to intoxicate any man. But she came to the club with you, and she will leave with you. And that filled you with pride.
You had a certain pride when you saw different men drooling after Y/N wherever you went. Even when she came to visit you for various Grand Prix, you could see all the engineers looking after her and elbowing each other. You knew she was yours, but no one else knew that.
For outsiders, Y/N was your best friend and everyone was too afraid of you to try to talk with her.
You felt extremely good when she was with you and you felt her body's warmth.
When you were traveling and she was in Monaco you were constantly worried, you always looked at the phone to see if she texted you. It wasn't until later that Daniel told you that you might have feelings for her.
"You don't know what you're talking about, mate." You told him then and you laughed.
But maybe it wasn't like that. Maybe Daniel was right and you were too busy to see what was really obvious.
You were in love with your best friend.
"Come dance with me!" she says and comes to you. She takes your hand and pulls you onto the dance floor.
She raises her hands behind your neck and you lower your hands on her ass. You both smile and move to the beat of the song.
Her eyes twinkled with desire and you were sure that yours had the same animal desire in your eyes. But in your eyes, it was not the desire that pushed you to this friends with benefits thing.
It was a burning desire to kiss her passionately, then and there. You want to tell her that you like her and that you don't just want to be friends with benefits with her. You want to tell everyone she's yours.
"A penny for your thoughts," she says and smiles innocently.
Sometimes you looked at her and you couldn't realize how lucky you were to come across her in that crowded club in Monaco.
You wanted to tell her, you wanted to scream from the tallest building in the world that you loved her. But you were a coward. How can you do that and then hope to have a relationship, at least a friendship, with her?
"I'm just looking at the most beautiful girl in here."
She smiles and gets closer to you.
"That says a lot, coming from the most handsome man in here."
You laugh and the instinct to kiss her was stronger than ever. You look at her lips and bite yours.
It was an irrational thought, you've only kissed her lips a million times before. The only difference was that when you kissed her, you were always naked, more or less. Now you were both dressed and you didn't even drink to blame it on your drunkenness.
"Are you feeling alright?" she asks you.
"Mhm," you say and keep your eyes on her.
But she puts her hands on your face and forces you to look at her.
"You know you can tell me anything."
It's just that you didn't say anything. You kissed her. Fuck it.
She kissed you back and you pressed your body harder against her.
The year was 2019.
We are both young, hot-blooded people
We don’t wanna die alone
Two become one, it could be lethal
Sleeping with a friend
2 years later, you were still having sex. It's just that now everyone knew that. Because she was your girlfriend and you could tell her you loved her without fear.
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Hi love the writing! Could you do something angsty around 26 or 35 with max??
Summary: You found out Max cheated on you
Warnings: angst, swearing
Word count: 2.5k
26. “Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?”
35. “What will you do if we break up?”
'Max is looking at you' you read what your best friend Anthony, an engineer at Red Bull Racing, wrote.
And you worked at Red Bull Racing too, you decided with Max Verstappen, your boyfriend, that this is the best way for you to travel with him. You didn't have a complicated job. You dealt with filtering the negative ad on the team and then you gave it to Victoria to deal with the articles as she knew.
'Okay, let him look,' you write on the piece of paper that Anthony wrote quickly on.
You were at a meeting with all the Red Bull Racing employees, to your bad luck. Being in the same room with Max Verstappen was the last thing you wanted at the time.
Sure, your relationship was beautiful, or it had been anyway. He was whatever you wished from a man and more. He looked like a bad boy but he was the cutest and most thoughtful man you knew and he made you feel safe even when you couldn't see him.
His words still resonate in your mind and you had to make a supernatural effort not to cry.
You knew Max Verstappen loved you. He told you that every day and showed you through the gestures he made. He never gave you a reason to doubt him, and you didn't look for scandal either.
But every time you saw her, a lump appeared in your stomach. Without wanting to, you became careful around you, looking for her or Max. When you saw them talking, you looked for any excuse to go near them.
But your fear was unfounded, wasn't it? Max loved you, you were together for two years and you were fine.
But you also looked at her. She had also had a long-term relationship with Daniil Kvyat, a relationship of almost three years and they have a little girl together. There can be nothing between them.
Anthony has told you several times that Max and Kelly have been spending a lot of time together, at least lately, and you said you weren't worried. Why would you be?
But last night all your worries and fears came upon you at once. Anthony told you he saw Max leave the paddock with Kelly and didn't come back for about three hours. He didn't want to pay attention to this thing but when Anthony went to the driver to show him some sketches he noticed a small bruise on the backside of his neck.
"Really?" he tells you laughing. "How old are you to leave hickeys on your skin? Only teenagers still do that."
You felt all the color drained from your face. Hickey? You never left anything like that on his skin.
Anthony probably realized that what he said was not about you.
"Y/N... I'm so sorry..."
"It's ok," you say and smile at him even though you wanted to die at that moment. "I need a little bath, I'll be right back," you say and get up from the chair.
You started crying in the bathroom. You were disappointed, scared, disgusted, and shocked. To learn that someone you trusted unconditionally had been lying, cheating, and had developed an emotional bond with another woman behind your back was not registering in your brain.
Yes, you weren't a model, you didn't look like one, but Max always told you that you were perfect and that no other woman compares to you.
You literally could not wrap your head around what was happening...
You hoped that your darkest thoughts would never come true, but they did. Max and Kelly. Together. Behind your back.
It feels like every nerve in your body has either frozen or left your vessel completely. Your body literally enters a state of shock; adrenaline. You are absolutely stripped. Vulnerability. Disbelief. Disgust. Horror. Anger. Confusion. Shattering, crippling, traumatizing heartbreak.
Trust, honesty, and respect are necessary for a relationship, and Max just shattered all three at once. You have been the victim of an emotional crime. You ask yourself, how could this person fuck me over like this?
I trusted them.
I loved them.
I was loyal to them.
I kept my end of the fucking bargain.
How could you emotionally manipulate me?
What was I lacking?
Am I the problem?
Truly sickening, reality-twisting, mind-fucking stuff. You just couldn't believe that this was happening to you. Infidelity is something you hear about quite often, in books, movies, the media, or to other people, but not to you. This was somebody you loved with all of your heart, who told you he loved you, who had never shown the slightest inclination of dishonesty or moral transgression or disloyalty.
"Y/N, are you okay?" you heard Anthony behind the door, the fear and worry present in his voice.
"I'm fine," you say, though no one would have believed you. "I'll be there in a moment."
You splashed some water on your face, looked in the mirror, and bit your lip. You looked like hell. The eyes were red, the small veins that irrigated the eyeballs were broken, the face was red, in a combination between the violent crying crisis and the anger you had.
What were you going to do? Will you pretend you didn't know anything? Will you tell him you knew? Were you going to break up with him or were you going to wait for him to break up with you to be with Kelly?
You finally came out of the bathroom and Anthony was waiting for you at the door. He hugged you tight and assured you that everything would be fine. But he had no way of knowing that. It was nothing more than his simple hope that his best friend would not lose her fucking mind.
The phone starts ringing. Anthony lets you go and he goes to see who's calling you. He gives you a worried look. You immediately realized that it was Max who was calling you. Tears began to flow down your cheeks again and Anthony took your reaction as an invitation for him to answer the phone.
"Hey, man," he replies, and you don't hear what Max is saying. "No, she went for a coffee and left her phone on the table. Okay, I'll tell her. Okay, bye."
You approach him after he's finished the call to make sure you don't hear Max's voice.
"He said to go to his room."
"I don't want to see him."
"I realized that. Let's go, we'll deal with this problem later."
You went for a walk. The fresh air calmed you down a bit, but you had all kinds of thoughts in your mind.
How many times has this happened? Did you really want to know that? You really wanted to know how many times he kissed her and then he would come to you and tell you that he loves you.
If Anthony hadn't seen the hickey, how many more times did he planned to cheat on you?
Did he love her? That would have hurt you the most, knowing that you failed to give Max the love he needed and had to look for it in the arms and bed of another woman.
"Just know that I understand your feelings. I've been through this myself." Anthony breaks the silence and you look at him. "To be cheated on, it's a feeling of helplessness and zero self-worth. You feel as if you didn't do enough for that person which is why they reached out for someone else sexually or romantically. You blame it on yourself half the time. You dig for answers in your memories to try to figure out where you went wrong, where things started to go in a different direction. You hope that it won't happen again. You hope that the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" it's just a myth. They broke your trust, how could you ever trust them again, right? You become paranoid when they go out at night or they don't answer your phone calls by the first ring. You find yourself having more down and depressed days than happy days. And a lot of questions will always replay in the back of your mind. Why? Why now? Why with them? How could this be happening to you? No matter how many times you get an answer, it won't be enough. Day after day, it'll get better but worse at the same time."
After two hours you returned to the paddock. You were immediately notified that Max was looking for you everywhere and he was worried he couldn't find you. Ironic, isn't it?
"Y/N!" you hear Max's voice.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" Anthony asks, standing in front of you to block your image of Max.
"No, it's okay. I'll handle it somehow..."
Anthony nods and leaves, staring angrily at Max.
"Hey, I was looking for you everywhere. Are you okay? Your eyes are a little red." he asks and if you didn't know better you'd think he cared.
"Let's go somewhere private."
You went to his room. You sat on his bed and thought about what you could say. You were thinking about what Anthony told you when you walked together.
Max hands you a dose of Red Bull and you take it, feeling your throat very dry.
"We need to talk," you tell him and you feel your eyes start to sting. It was not yet time to start crying.
"Okay? Is something wrong?"
"Is it true what Anthony told me?" you ask and you see that Max doesn't know what you mean; how would he know? "Is it true that you and Kelly spent some time together?"
His face went blank for a moment as he tried to understand.
"What you mean?"
You reach out your trembling hand to the collar of his polo shirt to lower it where Anthony told you it was the mark.
And Anthony was right. There was, in front of you, the hickey Kelly made on him.
Max didn't expect that. He looks at you with wide eyes and you hear his heart start beating harder. Sweat dripped down his forehead.
He looked away from you, numb. You discovered his secret. You didn't know if he was afraid of your reaction or sorry you found out his little secret.
"I didn't intend to hurt you," he says, and you realize he's telling the truth.
He had a guttural voice.
You smile at them. A broken smile that hid the primordial desire to cry and hit him with all your best.
"I don't care about your intentions. They're irrelevant. You didn't intend to hurt me? Well, you didn't intentionally try to keep me from harm either."
You don't know where you had the strength to look into his eyes and not cry. Max looks crushed. Because you found out? Because you're breaking up? Because he has to put an end to the affair with Kelly?
"How long was it actually going on before I found out?"
You see Max trying to think of an answer that doesn't affect you so much or destroy you at all.
"For less than a month," he answers.
One month? Where were you a month ago? In Spain. Did something happen there? Did you notice anything strange about him? To his behavior? No. You didn't notice anything.
Was he really that good at hiding his mistakes?
That, of course, if he considers the relationship with Kelly a mistake.
"Did you ever think of me when you were with her?"
He did not answer. You didn't even know if you wanted to know the answer to that. What would it be like to answer that he never thought of you and that his mind was soaked in serotonin that only Kelly could think of those moments?
"I never stopped loving you."
"I don't believe you loved me while you were cheating on me. Love and betrayal are incompatible. I don't feel safe with that kind of 'love.'"
"So? You're breaking up with me?" Max asks.
Although you still had so much to say, you no longer had the power. You were so mentally and physically exhausted that you just wanted to be alone and cry.
"There's nothing else to do, is there?" you say and leave his room.
Anthony was waiting for you. He noticed that you had no tears on your face and frowned.
"What happened? Did you guys make up?"
You hug Anthony hard and cry. At that moment you gave up being strong. You gave up pretending, even in front of you, that you were fine.
Fuck it, you weren't fine. You were far from fine.
You looked back at Christian Horner, who was presenting something on the video projector. You lost the whole meeting with the crew. You had no idea what was being said.
Honestly, you don't even care what they said. You only worked there because you were Max Verstappen's girlfriend. But for eighteen hours, this was no longer true. So what's stopping you from going to Christian and telling him you're resigning? What keeps you from going home and forgetting about Max, forgetting the last two years of your life and starting over?
"That's it for today, thank you very much, friends, and let's get back to work, yeah?"
Everyone gets up from their seats. Anthony draws your attention and beckons you to look at the garage door.
You could faint then and there. No one and nothing ever prepared you for the emotions you were experiencing then. Kelly Piquet was at the garage door, waiting for the meeting to end. She was staring at Max, but he was just looking at you.
"Can we talk a little?"
You nod to Anthony that you're fine and he can leave. You look at Max and you see that he doesn't look very good. He had dark circles and you're sure he didn't sleep last night either, just like you.
“Those things you said yesterday, did you mean them?” he asks, looking down at his shoes.
"Yes," you answer categorically, looking at his face, waiting for him to raise his head so you can look him in the eye.
“What will you do if we break up? You will leave here or-” you interrupt him.
"Not 'if I break up with you,' we've already gotten over it," you say and Max looks at you with wide eyes. "We already broke up last night. I'm still here because I haven't had a chance to talk to Christian yet to tell him I'm resigning."
"Are you leaving?"
"I have nothing to do here. I came to Red Bull Racing for you."
A tear runs down Max's cheek.
"What can I tell you to stay?"
"There's nothing left to say. Now go," you say and you feel a lump in your throat. "She's waiting for you."
Max turns to the garage door to see who you're talking about.
"I gave her a text message last night and told her it was all a mistake between us."
You smile at him. "Goodbye, Max," you say then you shout for Christian.
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