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alpaca-clouds · 7 months

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Why I hate the concept of player-sexual characters

Okay, you know what? Let me talk about this. Because it really irks me. Like, it really irks me. I cannot express how much it irks me, to be honest.

I love BG3. And BG3 is doing a lot of stuff right when it comes to queer representation. Not so much in regards to any other form of representation (How is it that there is only one none-white character among your teammates? Why is there literally no body diversity at all? Why is there no fucking combat wheelchair?), but on terms of queer rep the game is doing very good. I mean, literally, most canonical relationships you interact with are queer. You meet a lot more happy queer couples than happy straight couples. Which is nice. And while I could've done with maybe one canonical trans character, you can at least play your player character as trans, which is fucking nice. So yeah, we are getting there.

But for heaven's sake, I will never, ever see player-sexual characters as bi/pan representation. Because they are not. Their universal sexual attraction serves not to define them as characters in their identity, but just for the player to fulfill their own power fantasy in whatever way the player desires. The fact that the characters do not care about what gender the player character has, is not really tied to the character or their story.

Which is why I like it so much more the way that Bioware did it with Dragon Age: Inquisition and some of the later Mass Effect games (is this true for Starfield as well? I have no idea). Where the characters do have a canon sexuality that influences who you can romance and who you cannot romance.

Like, I am in general not a big fan of the Dragon Age games, with the exception of Inquisition, because boy, I got invested into those characters and part of the reason is this. Like, holy hell, I cannot explain to you how invested I got into Dorian and his entire story. Like, back then I was still in egg-mode and I played the game with a female character - but I then did a second playthrough with a male PC just so I could romance Dorian.

Their sexuality is tied to who they are as people.

And sure, yeah, fine. Basically BG3 goes about sexuality in the way of: "The world does not care about it, so neither should you." Like, there is so many queer couples, some have kids that might be their biological kids, because magic, I guess, and nobody really bats an eye. So, I guess something like with Dorian, where part of his story was dealing with a homophobic dad would not happen here. Still, you know, with their supposed bisexuality not playing any role at all, it feels... hollow.

Because it does really feel like this part of them only exists for the player - not as part of their characterization. And I would feel a lot better about it, if it was.

I think it feels partly so offensive to me, because I am a bisexual trans dude and lived as a bi woman for so long. And as that my bisexuality has often been seen by men as something that they can consume in one way or another to act out their personal fantasies. So, player-sexuality/bisexuality in games being used for the player to act out that kinda fantasy feels... wrong.

How could Larian have done it or do it in future games? Well, pretty simple.

Bring in former relationships of different genders, let the characters comment on finding other characters (both in your party and out of it) attractive, allow the non-romanced characters to hook up together or hook up with other NPCs. Make their sexuality part of their story.

I totally would be fine with the characters all being bisexual. Sure, its a bit boring, but I also totally could buy into "in this world bisexuality/pansexuality is the norm" as part of the worldbuilding. But then show it through their interactions outside of being willing/able to hook up with the player character.

Though admittedly, this is in general one of my biggest issue with the writing on the game: Rather than having the characters talk with each other about stuff (outside of the idle banter in your party), they talk to the player character about how they feel about each other. You know, I have seen a lot of comments about how the ending feels unrewarding because apparently (I am closing in on the ending, but I am not quite there yet) after everything is said and done everybody just goes their own way, not acknowledging each other at all. But I think it is a problem in general.

Like, I get that each scene in which the characters interact more significantly than awkwardly standing in front of each other is a ton of work, because you gotta motion capture it - and also rendering it on the system make the workload on the hardware you are using a lot bigger... But it definitely would help the characterization.

To come back to Dragon Age: Inquisition (look, it is the one game I played that worked a lot with this), I had a general feeling for how the other characters related to each other, like, what their relationships were like. I knew how Cassandra felt about Solas and Varric. Or Sera about Cole. Sure, not all character relations were as well defined, but there was a lot happening there. Which here... I mean, I know how Shadowheart and Lae'zel see each other and how that evolves over time. I know how Karlach and Wyll feel about each other. But for example, there is never a scene where Karlach and Astarion argue with each other, even though they are moral-wise fundamentally opposed and probably would argue. Like, when you learn about the ritual and Astarion goes like "I totally should do it!", none of the other characters has an opinion on him planning that, let alone confronts him about it. Or where Gale gets annoyed with Karlach's approach to solving problems by just beating her axe at the problem. Or, like, Halsin and Janeira hanging out with each other, talking about druid stuff. Because outside of single cutscenes and the idle banter, the characters just do not interact a whole lot.

And I think that is a shame. Because they are already fun, engaging characters. But they totally would be more fun and engaging if they had a life outside of their backstory and their relationship to the player character. (And mind you, if you play an Origin playsthrough this does not change, because whatever character you play, still is the player character.)

Allow them friendships and romances outside of the player character. And be it just by having them awkwardly stand together and talk in front of the same tent at camp from time to time. lol

When you have that, their sexuality also would feel real - and not just like a device to propell the player's power fantasy.

Also, for fucks sake, just give us some aroace characters. Q-Q

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #larian studios #bioware #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #player-sexuality #lgbtq #queer representation #bisexuality #aroace #rant #vent

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rickktish · 2 years

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Batfam Alphabet Mafia headcanons

Bruce

Bruce is pansexual/panromantic, uses he/they pronouns but is too shy to actually tell anyone for the longest time.

Batman is bisexual/demiromantic, uses he/it pronouns.

Will not elaborate under any circumstances.

“IT’S THE BAT!” Is such a gender euphoric thing to hear while swooping down on your enemies guys you have no idea

Dick

He/him lesbian?

Panromantic polysexual?

Gender???

No answers. None.

In practice? he/him pronouns. He refuses to inconvenience those around him even slightly by asking them to try using anything else.

“What do you mean i wouldn’t be inconveniencing anyone? No, I don’t feel inconvenienced switching pronouns for others. No, you don’t get it, I don’t want to make anyone uncomfy.”

In truth? Gender neutral pronouns make them feel uwu. They also have she/her days— rarely, but it happens.

If dangled over a shark pit without access to batshark repellant and forced to choose, would probably identify as a genderfluid pan with polyamorous leanings. But only very reluctantly.

Jason

He/him pronouns but in a very gnc way, like yes, he uses he/him, but damn if he doesn’t look good in a dress, you can’t stop him

He has actually never been emotionally attracted to a woman. Sexually he’s not picky, but emotionally? Does not see the appeal.

Demiromantic.

Cass

Does not object to she/her pronouns but neither does she actually possess a gender

Dislikes he/him and has vaguely uninterested feelings toward they/them but will not be offended.

Attraction is... not a concept she feels she fully grasps. Best guess is on the aroace spectrum? She just doesn’t feel confident on the idea as a whole.

Currently can comfortably call her relationship with Steph a qpr, but that might change as her understanding evolves

Tim

Genderfluid nonbinary. The gender spectrum has very minimal extremes, never fully one direction or the other, but the position on the graph does move around on the daily.

Demisexual biromantic.

Steph

Genderfluid but only rarely really; predominantly a she/her with the occasional theyday thrown in for spice.

A disaster bi in the most intentionally chaotic sense.

Duke

Genderfluid, but with all the extremes that Tim can’t grasp. Took all the gender when Tim and Damian weren’t looking.

Girls are pretty and Duke likes them a lot. Boys are bleh. Not outside the realm of possibility, but it would take a really special guy.

Damian

Agender he/they.

Gay. Just. Deeply gay.

Being gay for Damian means being unintentionally attracted only to men and agender people

This has turned into an ongoing joke among the batsiblings, waiting after Dami admits to having a crush for that person to come out as agender. It’s happened like three times, he still claims it’s coincidence but none of the family believe him

Babs

AMAB she/her. Batman year one involved Bruce rescuing Gordon’s infant son, after all— and idc what people say about Jim’s serial killer son, whatever, Babs has only child energy and I refuse to believe she has an older brother. Serial killer gordon can be younger than Babs but not older.

83% confident she’s straight, but it’s still technically shaky ground.

Alfred

Cis, spent the better part of his years as both an actor and a member of british intelligence as the company bicycle for both professions

Has vast and unknowable power and managed to keep Bruce completely unaware of his romantic or sex life whilst growing up

As an adult he has now made a game of flirting with anyone around his age he encounters while in Bruce’s presence

Has had an emotional Something going on with Leslie Thompkins since Bruce was like 12 but neither of them can find the time to define it and so Something it remains

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a-froger-epic · 2 years

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it’s a rant lol my bad. to clarify when I say you it’s referring in general to the group who insist on invalidating Freddie’s sexuality. not any one individual. buuut if you read this and think I’m speaking to you directly, maybe that’s a sign babe. maybe reflect a lil lmfao.

I will literally never understand people. Never mind all the he said she said bs arguments. Okay sure we weren’t there, we didn’t know him personally we have to take all the stories about him with a grain of salt. Fine. Totally fine. If that’s how people want to view what people who were closest to Freddie say fine whatever ignore everyone who ever actually knew him if you truly don’t see anything wrong with that. But Freddie, FREDDIE HIMSELF, identified as GAY. HE CALLED HIMSELF GAAAAY. That alone should be the end of the fucking discussion right there. Yet for some reason people still insist on erasing all of that, and saying none of it matters because they know better. Yes, bitch. You know a man that you’ve never met better than everyone who actually knew him and better than he knew himself. 🙄🙄 literally fuck outa here.

I’ll admit, as someone who identifies as pan, I was elated when I first got into the fandom at the prospect of him possibly being bi. Of course it’s always nice to find representation, especially in someone who love and admire so much. But as soon as I actually dove into things and became acquainted (not literally obvs) with the queen boys I realized oh Freddie was most definitely gay. He identified as gay, there’s no way around that. I understand the need to push yourself and your own experiences onto someone or some character you admire and identify with, and how good it can feel to see yourself reflected in that person or character, but you are literally erasing his identity, his, story, his sexuality and his struggles for the sake of making yourself feel better and it’s fucking gross babe.

Okay great now that we’ve established that back to drooling over pictures of Freddie in tiny shorts.

Yeah, as a fellow pansexual (hi!) I was also initially excited that Freddie might be bi... until I did even the most surface level research and realised, ahh, nope. Definitely gay. Fair enough.

I am just also puzzled by how people went from "sexuality = sexual behaviour" in the 1950s when Kinsey based people's sexuality on which actual lived experience they had had (closeted men sleeping with women could not count as fully gay, for example, on the Kinsey scale) to realising over decades that sexuality is to be defined by the individual themselves and their own perception of themselves, and not an outside judgement of how they behave... rrrrright back to: "Did you know Freddie had a girlfriend called Mary? SEE. Bi. >:("

Seriously, what the heck.

#ask response

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grimsdeadb0nes · 2 years

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Do you have any relationship and se sexuality headcanons for the deadly six? Do you think the Zeti culture is acceptable to the lgbtqia community/topic?

A few! Nothing special really ig I'm not going to go into deep relationship details here tbh bc again the whole indecisive bag of bones I can be and I dont feel like writing a whole novel rn even if it will definitely still be long, but!

- Zavok - Probably bi/pan-curious, who knows, he doesnt seem to wanna talk about it; hardly thought about the topic, its just something that was never really brought up. - Zik; clearly something familial, fatherly or grandfatherly- doesnt really matter- he's just a very important male figure in his life; utmost respect. [Familial/Most Trust] - Zazz; [Good Friend/Get Along Fine/Maybe something Brotherly?] - Zomom; [Good Ally/Get Along Good/Brotherly] - Zeena; [Good Ally/Get Along Fine] - Zor; [Packmate/Vaguely Get Along]

- Zik - He'd smack you with his staff for asking and tell you such a thing is none of your business - Leave the old man to his business - Zavok; [Familial/Most Trust] He never had offspring of his own, so Zavok (and the others) are really the next best thing to him. - Zazz; [Familial/Get Along Good] - Zomom; [Familial/Get Along Fine] - Zeena; [Familial/Get Along Fine] - Zor; [Familial/Get Along Good]

- Zazz - This guy is a Bi disaster and you can not convince me otherwise, even if he wont admit it- Anyone w/ defined muscle and or looks like they can snap him in half is absolutely top of the list, fight me - Zavok; [Get Along Fine/Something there something not?/Most Trust] - Zik; [Familial/Get Along Fine/Most Trust] - Zomom; [Familial/Brotherly/Get Along Great/Most Trust] - Zeena; [Packmate/Barely Get Along] - Zor; [Brotherly/Get Along Okayish]

- Zomom - Hardly cares as long as they're nice, has barely ever thought about it though (isnt much for deep thinking)- its never been brought up to him. Probably Pan-Demi - Zavok; [Get Along Good/Brotherly/Slight Fear/Most Trust] - Zik; [Familial/Get Along Fine/Slight Underlying Fear] - Zazz; [Brotherly/Get Along Great/Most Trust] - Zeena; [Familial/Get Along Okayish] - Zor; [Brotherly/Get Along Surprisingly Okay] - Zeena - Heavy debate on Bi (female leaning) or just full on Lesbian tbh; isn't open about it Really anyone who's willing to carry her around and treat her like a princess, lets be real here - Zavok; [Good Ally/Get Along Fine/Slight Fear] - Zik; [Familial/Get Along Fine] - Zazz; [Packmate/Barely Get Along] - Zomom; [Packmate/Get Along Okayish] - Zor; [Kinda Sibling like/Get Along Surprisingly Well] - Zor - AroAce; just a heavy disinterest in (romantic) l o v e or whatever - Zavok; [Packmate/Slight Fear] - Zik; [Familial/Get Along Okay/Slight Underlying Fear] - Zazz; [Brotherly in an Annoying Way/Get Along Okayish] - Zomom; [Brotherly in a less Annoying Way/Get Along Okay] - Zeena; [Kinda Sibling like/Get Along Surprisingly Well] -- I literally wrote in the doc something of the latter part you're asking a night or two ago as well actually;

Clearly not EVERYONE is like this, but its the most "agreed" upon "opinion" of the topic. Idk- a race thats said to be malicious and violent and all that kind of just screams mostly unaccepting to me, even if they "dont seem to enjoy destroying their own kind". Not full on destroying or killing eachother is one thing, being/not being accepting or being decent/nice to eachother is another.

#👍#anyway that was alot #eyes kinda be hurtin' i've been looking at this too long #of course things are subject to change as i go along with stuff (plans wink wonk)#but y e a h #might edit later when im not tired and i notice anything wrong #artsy-iscream #my bONEs #the deadly six #zeti hcs #sonic hcs

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julesomalley · 2 years

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apparently i'm back on tumblr in the year of our lord 2022?

never thought this day would come, but alas, steddie brainrot has taken over and tumblr will always be the place where desperate queers come to headcanon stuff in peace, am i right?

so hi! I'm jules! i'm 27, i use she/her pronouns (maybe that'll change, who knows... gender am i right?) and i've been using the term queer to define my sexuality for a while now, but i'm also comfortable with bi and pan. i'm a highly anxious potato (like, i have a generalized anxiety disorder, so i'm really, really anxious). i was on tumblr an eternity ago, then left, then came back again. tadaaa!

if you're into:

stranger things (fruity four for life)

our flag means death

star wars

lord of the rings

six of crows/shadow & bone

heartstopper

arcane

marvel

whatever hyperfixation my brain has currently chosen

but also if you:

listen to music all day long

read fanfics until 3am

like recommending fics that have wrecked you

want to hear about my recs (and sometimes my fics, too)

have blocked JKR on twitter a few years ago and have never felt better

we should be moots and follow each other!

#about me

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susiephone · 3 years

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Imagine thinking that wanting straight people to be accepting of gay people is a "trap" and not like, literally THE entire goal of the modern LGBT rights movement since its inception

okay. this is in response to me saying “respectability politics is a trap.” which it absolutely is.

but i’ll give you the benefit of the doubt here. let’s define respectability politics, shall we?

several people who are more well-spoken than me have talked about this. to quote this article on the subject:

Respectability politics is a school of thought that utilizes respectability narratives as the basis for enacting social, political, and legal change.

Respectability narratives are representations of marginalized individuals meant to construct an image of the marginalized group as people sharing similar traits, values, morals with the dominant group.

essentially, respectability politics is when people in a marginalized group (queer people, disabled people, people of color) wish to be accepted by the majority, and thus present themselves in a way and behave in a way that the majority deems acceptable - and pressure others in their marginalized group to do the same. for example:

“Not all bisexual people are sluts, I’m bi and I’ve been in a committed relationship for 20 years!”

“I’m gay, but I’m not one of THOSE gay guys, I hate shopping and I don’t like to flaunt my sexuality at all!”

“Lesbians aren’t really all masculine, I love makeup and having long hair.”

(I’m using examples I’ve seen in the queer community because I’m queer; I know this happens a lot in communities of color, but I am not qualified to speak on that at all.)

this stems from a desire to be accepted by the majority; for the purposes of this discussion, straight people. we hear straight people say things like “i could never date a bi person, they’re all cheaters” or “i don’t mind gay guys, don’t just shove it in my face” and “why don’t lesbians act like women if they love them?” and, in response, some people go, “i don’t act like that!! you can accept me! i fit in! i’m respectable, i’m not like those guys, they embarrass us!”

there’s also a lot of people saying, “don’t reinforce the stereotype.” as if it’s OUR fault straight people stereotype us.

so this leads to shaming within our own community:

“You’re bi and polyamorous? Wow, way to make people think we’re all two-timing whores.”

“Makeup? Jesus, we get it, you’re gay, you don’t have to make it a pride parade every time you go out.”

“You look like a teenage boy, this is why everyone lesbians aren’t real women.”

and that all boils down to:

“THIS is the example you’re setting? This is the face you show to the world? Don’t you know you’re representing us? No wonder they don’t respect us.”

and that’s the real problem: telling other queer people, “it is YOUR fault you’re not accepted, YOU aren’t acceptable, YOU reinforce these stereotypes, YOU should try and be more respectable, more normal.” and the thing is, “normal” is defined by the majority. THEY decide what is acceptable behavior for us. and guess what?

most of the time, that boils down to, “It’s fine if you’re different... as long as you’re as close to what I deem normal as possible. As long as I can’t tell you’re different.”

in the queer community, this sort of thinking has led to the exclusion of butch lesbians, femme gay men, nonbinary people, non-passing trans people, trans people in general, people who use any pronouns besides she/her and he/him, bisexual people, ace people, aro people, pan people, polyamorous bisexual people, people who have an active sex life, sex workers, people who have changed how they identify, and countless others. these people get shoved aside by the Good Respectable Gays, who are eager to say, “We’re not like them, we’re just like you!” in order to be accepted by the mainstream. and it still doesn’t work. even the most macho, would-never-guess-it gay guy is bound to face some level of oppression or otherness at some point in his life. it doesn’t matter how much he fits in, how much he distances himself from the Unacceptable Queers; it won’t work 100% of the time. how’s that for a punchline?

there is no point in trying to file off the “unacceptable” parts of our community just to please straight people.

if a person hates all queer people, no matter how they act or present, they’re a homophobe.

if a person doesn’t hate queer people, just the ones who shove it in your face and sleep around and won’t shut up about it and buck gender norms and use weird pronouns and expect people to learn their new name and change their identity every week... they’re still a fucking homophobe.

and why the fuck are we trying to please homophobes, again?

so when people say lil nas x is bad, actually, because he “reinforces the stereotype” of gay people going to hell and thinking a lot about sex or whatever, they’re playing right into respectability politics. why can’t he just talk about his sexuality in a normal way? why can’t he express himself in a nicer way? why does he have to use that imagery? why does he have to make straight people uncomfortable?

lis nas x is a gay black man who grew up being told he’d burn in hell for being gay. and he made an awesome song with a legendary music video saying, “fine. i’ll go to hell, just like you want, and it’ll be great. i’ll take the damn place over and make satan fall in love with me. and i’ll have a great time doing it, because i’m proud of who i am, and i won’t apologize for it or be ashamed of it anymore.”

to see that and wring your hands, worrying that a straight person will see it and decide to be homophobic about it, and pinning the blame for that on nas is missing the point.

every time we as a community make ourselves lesser or change the way we present just to be accepted by the majority, they move the goalposts, and someone else gets left behind. and the beautiful thing about the queer community is that there is a place for everyone who is left out in the cold by the straight, cis majority.

“We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” was the rallying cry for a reason. we’re different, you think we’re weird, you think we’re deviant, you don’t get us, and that’s fine, you don’t have to get us. we’re not going anywhere. get used to it.

respectability politics is a game you cannot win. so stop playing.

#respectability politics #queer #queer pride #lgbtq #long post cw #Anonymous

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hakasims · 3 years

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The Most Important Review of Every Single Marwan Kenzari Film

If you’ve seen this one about Luca, you know the drill.

Now, Marwan’s brand is a little less defined than Luca’s but I managed to find similar tropes in a lot of his films. Also, rather than copy myself and give you a redundant Marwanmeter, I decided instead to recommend which Luca character best pairs with each Marwan character for your crossover pleasure. Let’s see if we ship the same things! Some of them are crack. You’re welcome.

(all gifs again by the awesomely amazing @weardes who did not ask to be my gif factory but life’s a bitch)

Het zusje van Katia (2008)

Will you miss him if you blink? Kinda. They talk about him a lot but his actual screen time is like 43.7 seconds. Also can I just say... he’s supposed to be from Italy?? The boy says literally one (1) Italian word, and you’ll never guess what it is. (Obviously, it’s “bella” like there’s a chance he could’ve said anything else.)

Is he hot? Painfully hot.

Is he naked? There’s this one scene where he’s wearing the sluttiest pair of speedos I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Does his hair look great? Actually, yes. Perfect hair, perfect beard, he looks amazing.

Does he fuck? Yes, a lot - off screen, including an M/M/F threesome he presumably, probably, most definitely initiated.

Best paired with? From what I’ve gathered, this hoe ain’t loyal, so the best course of action is to find him a Luca that would benefit from a one night stand with no strings attached and wouldn’t fall in love with him. The obvious choice here is Valerio from Slam - Tutto per una ragazza. They meet, they fuck, then Giac makes his 4-hour drive back to Pisa, and they don’t see each other again until the next time he’s in Rome. Everybody’s happy, especially the two sluts in question.

De laatste dagen van Emma Blank (2009)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, absolutely.

Is he hot? Very.

Is he naked? Almost constantly.

Does his hair look great? He’s got those cute short curls, he looks so good.

Does he fuck? That’s literally why he’s there: to fuck and to die.

Best paired with? Man, I wish I had something to work with here. The only thing we know about him besides his sexual prowess is his affinity for white suits and toy helicopters. And as far as I know, those might be the exact things Fabrizio from Nina finds hot in guys. So like, why not?

Loft (2010)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character.

Is he hot? Yeah, sure.

Is he naked? There’s a scene where he’s wearing underwear and a tank top but it somehow makes him look like a kindergartener.

Does his hair look great? It looks quite nice.

Does he fuck? Yes, though I wish he didn’t.

Best paired with? Tom is a very violent person and a drug addict. He does messed up stuff to his sexual partners I’d rather he didn’t do to any of Luca’s characters. Feel free to use him for your sadistic fantasies or as a villain or whatever.

Rabat (2011)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s one of the three leads.

Is he hot? Oh yes! And cute!

Is he naked? He’s at the beach wearing nothing but boxer shorts.

Does his hair look great? He’s got this extreme undercut thing that would look ridiculous on anyone less pretty, so like no, he doesn’t have great hair, but also like it’s Marwan, you know what I mean?

Does he fuck? Before he embarks on a road trip with his friends, he has an offscreen threesome with two girls he picked up at a wedding. Slut.

Best paired with? Gabriele from Waves. They’re both sweet guys who could meet in some Tunisian port and decide to sail the Mediterranean Sea together.

Black Out (2012)

Will you miss him if you blink? Not unless your blinking is very deliberate.

Is he hot? Not really. He’s a dirty cop with a shitty moustache and oral fixation.

Is he naked? No, but I wish he was: his clothes are awful. Marwan is 29 in this movie and he looks 50!

Does his hair look great? Nope. They took Marwan’s usual short hair and made it not work somehow.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? The one thing Luca’s characters all have in common is that none of them come off as bootlickers. All of them are either too soft for such a relationship or wouldn’t waste their spit on a cop.

Wolf (2013)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? *gestures wildly at the gif*

Is he naked? He’s got quite a few shirtless scenes.

Does his hair look great? It’s nothing special but suits his character well.

Does he fuck? Oh yes.

Best paired with? Hear me out. I know that some people ship him with Fabio, but in my opinion that pair, while hot, doesn’t work. Here’s my pitch: Cesare from Non essere cattivo. The drug connection is still there, but in this case Majid’s problem-solving skills won’t fall on deaf ears. Cesare needs a daddy, ok? Majid can be a daddy when he needs to, especially when he has a soft boyfriend to care for. And Majid needs soft, not psycho.

Hartenstraat (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist once again.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? There’s that iconic scene where he’s wearing nothing but black boxer briefs and boots while carrying a tray...

Does his hair look great? He’s got Joe-like curls and looks like what every male romantic lead should aspire to look like and then cry because they all fail.

Does he fuck? There’s one very unfortunate sex scene played for laughs. I’m pretty sure he’ll need therapy afterwards. I certainly do.

Best paired with? Paolo from Il padre d’Italia. Paolo deserves the best boyfriend, and who’s better than Daan, an extremely hot man who cooks? They both have daughters, so they can talk about that, I guess, and Paolo can finally have a family. Honestly, this is so wholesome I just made myself cry.

Lucia de B. (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? For sure.

Is he hot? He’s a cop. Again. But he looks good.

Is he naked? Fully dressed, but man are his clothes ugly. Is that a cop thing?

Does his hair look great? He has slightly longer curls, which is fine and the best thing about this character.

Does he fuck? ACAB. (I know this doesn’t answer the question, I just wanted to make it clear.)

Best paired with? See my bootlicker comment from earlier. While Detective *checks notes* Ron Leeflang isn’t explicitly corrupt, he’s obviously a dick, so the best I can do here is recommend any Luca character that has ever been in trouble with the law for any fics about power imbalance you want to write but aren’t comfortable with a nice Marwan playing the villain.

Bloedlink (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Oh no, he’s there the entire time.

Is he hot? In a weird way, yes.

Is he naked? So, so, so naked. Like, leave nothing to the imagination naked.

Does his hair look great? I’d say that little rat tail is the exact opposite of great.

Does he fuck? Probably more than is good for him. I should also add that he’s canonically queer in this.

Best paired with? Rico is a pathetic loser in need of someone who’s got his life together and has a lot of experience dealing with fuckups. Enter Loris from Il mondo fino in fondo. He has a stable job and a savior complex, and with his little bro gaying it up in Chile and not needing him anymore, all he wants right now is someone to fix. I should be a fucking matchmaker in real life, for real.

Pak van mijn hart (2014)

Will you miss him if you blink? Undoubtedly.

Is he hot? No. The whole point of his character is to be the lesser choice compared to a guy who looks like a completely ordinary bland white dude...

Is he naked? ...so of course he isn’t naked! What, are they gonna take this poor woman, show her Marwan Kenzari’s post-Wolf body and expect her to choose her deeply mediocre ex? Please! They’re gonna dress him in the dorkiest clothes possible...

Does his hair look great? ...and make him wear the most awful wig that was clearly run over by a truck.

Does he fuck? No. As you can observe, they tried really hard to make him unfuckable, but honestly, he seems like a perfectly nice guy.

Best paired with? You know what? Mattia from La solitudine dei numeri primi is in desperate need of some sweetness and normalcy. I’m sure Richard will treat him with kindness and respect.

Collide (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s the fifth most important character. Out of five.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? Not for a second! What’s up with American movies where people aren’t just casually walking around naked without any plot necessity???

Does his hair look great? His curls are so cute you guys! Look at them!

Does he fuck? Not explicitly.

Best paired with? Fabio from Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot. Again, the drug connection is there, but Matthias is soft enough not to butt heads with Fabio and, by the end of the movie, rich enough to satisfy his cravings for good living and fame. Also look at how good their color coordination is with those dark wine red clothes! Sometimes planets just align, okay?

Ben-Hur (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? Yes, especially if you aren’t watching the background.

Is he hot? Your usual Marwan hot.

Is he naked? No.

Does his hair look great? His typical short curls with a twist. I think the forehead area is supposed to invoke the Caesar cut? I don’t know. It looks fine when not hidden under that dumb helmet.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? A better script and a much better director. (Seriously, what is this blocking?)

The Promise (2016)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there a decent amount in the first half of the movie and then almost completely disappears in the second half.

Is he hot? Very much, yes.

Is he naked? Unfortunately, no.

Does his hair look great? He’s got short curls again, but this time they’re fashionably styled, it’s magnificent.

Does he fuck? Oh yeah! And there’s no way he isn’t bi or pan in this. No way.

Best paired with? Roberta from L’ultimo terrestre. Listen, Emre Ogan may be a slut but he’s a gentleman, okay? He’d treat Roberta right and he’s got daddy’s cash to spare on hundreds of gorgeous white dresses for her.

The Mummy (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s there, but barely.

Is he hot? Dangerously hot.

Is he naked? Not once! Instead we get a naked Tom Cruise literally no one asked for.

Does his hair look great? It’s your basic professional short hairdo.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Malik is a member of an organization tracking and destroying various monsters and historical artefacts related to them. Guido from Tutti i santi giorni speaks four languages, including Latin, and is a literature and ancient history nerd which makes him a valuable asset. Malik can fight and protect; Guido is bumbling and in need of saving. Guys, this writes itself.

What Happened to Monday (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, especially not in the third act.

Is he hot? He’s okay.

Is he naked? Very naked.

Does his hair look great? They shouldn’t have greased his curls back. He looks like another victim of Fabio Cannizzaro’s stylist. Also I wish he’d either shaved or finished growing out that beard.

Does he fuck? He fucks and he fucks good. He’ll go down on you, he’ll deflower you slowly and gently, he’ll choke you if you want him to, he’ll spoon you all night, he’ll give you emotional support, he’ll murder people for you - he’s down for whatever.

Best paired with? There’s one Luca character who needs a lot of sex and even more emotional support. Alright, most of them do, but I’m thinking of Ettore from Lasciate andare. He needs it, okay? Good dicking, good spooning, a good ear, a fine piece of ass to cry into - you get the gist. Most importantly: someone who’d love him for who he is and with whom he could relax and be himself. (Also, I see you, people comparing him to Fabio. Shame on you for sleeping on this soft boy and judging him based on his appearance.)

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

Will you miss him if you blink? He’s kinda always present, being very French.

Is he hot? Very hot.

Is he naked? No, but I’m willing to forgive that because he looks so good in his conductor uniform.

Does his hair look great? He never takes off his hat.

Does he fuck? No.

Best paired with? Mickey Miranda. They’re both murderers morally dubious characters who would look hot together. What else do you need? (Again, I see you, people who want Pierre for Roberta because he’s a “nice guy”, and I know for a fact you didn’t watch the movie. Spoilers, I guess.)

The Angel (2018)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the protagonist.

Is he hot? Oh yes.

Is he naked? Not once, but you won’t regret it because he’s wearing excellently stylish 1970s clothes.

Does his hair look great? It looks fantastic. The sideburns (not yet seen here) are a good touch.

Does he fuck? He can definitely get it, but he’s loyal to his wife.

Best paired with? As the most aesthetically coherent and fashionably hot pair in this post, Ashraf and Primo are a no-brainer. Can you imagine Primo calling him “Angel” in different contexts? When he’s being intimidating, not realizing how palpable the sexual tension between them is, and later not even hiding his arousal? Sometimes things just work because they’re hot. That’s all, folks.

Aladdin (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s the main villain.

Is he hot? It’s not like he went viral for being the “hot Jafar” or anything.

Is he naked? No! Fucking thanks a lot, Disney.

Does his hair look great? He has a buzz cut under that turban but he looks good in the turban, so that’s something.

Does he fuck? It’s a Disney movie, so he doesn’t fuck - explicitly or otherwise - but he still comes off as a thirsty bitch.

Best paired with? Jafar ends the movie as a genie who’s obligated to grant his master three wishes but is enough of a petty bitch to exploit the hell out of the “gray area” and screw them over Wishmaster style. My unconventional pair for him is Lui from Ricordi? So many scenarios with distorted memories and magic-induced mindfuck. So many possibilities for awesome and messed up crossover gifsets! Don’t say I never give you guys anything.

Instinct (2019)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, he’s very prominent.

Is he hot? I hate myself for finding him hot but I do.

Is he naked? He’s playing basketball shirtless in one scene, shaking his sweaty boobs everywhere.

Does his hair look great? His weird mohawk-like thing is honestly terrible, but if anything can make it work, it’s Marwan’s bone structure.

Does he fuck? Um, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one for the sake of good taste.

Best paired with? Prison. A very lonely, Luca-less prison.

The Old Guard (2020)

Will you miss him if you blink? No, unless blinking in your case means sleeping through the gloriousness that is the first ever canonically gay couple in an American action film.

Is he hot? Painfully.

Is he naked? Shirtless in one scene.

Does his hair look great? Soft curls courtesy of Luca Marinelli’s tireless lobbying.

Does he fuck? Not on screen, but you can just tell by the way he looks at his husband and reads impromptu poetry right to his face. And everybody knows nothing kindles the fires of passion quite like murdering homophobes together.

Best paired with? If you have to ask, you’re clearly reading this by mistake. In which case, kudos for finishing such a long and confusing post, now go watch The Old Guard and cry at the beauty that is The Immortal Marriage.

#marwan kenzari #luca marinelli #the old guard #and other movies #i'm lazy #immortal husbands #and their parallel versions i guess #crossover ships galore

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theyanderespecialist · 3 years

Text

Base Yandere Alastor Headcanons: Never Allowed To Leave (Hazbin Hotel)

[Hell This has been edit as of Janurary 11th just this port before the notice, I am doing two more base headcanons for alastor because there are different types of asexual not just the one in this form, actually this is one of the least that asexulas are, so there will be another asexual alastor one, a Aro Ace Alastor one and as a bonus a demisexual alastor one which is how me and my co author write Alastor and his genderbent Allison most of the time.

We hope you all still enjoy this and the future ones and remember your sexuality is how you define who you are just because it is not like everyone else does not make you anyless that sexuality unless it is hurting people (You know what I mean) being part of the community does not mean just because your anything but straight mean your hurting someone by being gay lesbian bi pan ace demi or whatever else you are.

But when you choose to hurt someone who cannot consent or force someone who can shame on you.

Just respect people wishes and so on.

[NOTICE I offended some people with how I describe alastor. Asexuality is not something that needs to be fixed or can be “Fixed” It is how you are born and I am deeply sorry what I meant for so is on the yandere side and psychopathy in which Alastor serial killer side shows. I will fix the problem here and now and I hope this is better.]

[Hello My Sexy Readers, I am here with another chapter and this prep for an alastor x reader scenarios and such and this is it please enjoy!]

-Base Yandere Alastor Headcanons-

.Alastor is A Asexual never had romantic feelings for someone before.

.For he never found interest in romance not because his asexuality but from his own high standards.

.That is until he meets his darling, you

.He did not know what it was about you but something made him feel alive and excited.

.You are his world.

.As he never had never found sex to be a interest of his for he held himself to a different standard.

.But then after he sees you he is thinking more on sex with you. Not for his sexuality no more so he wants to possess you for you are his world and he never felt like this for anyone.

.This is not because you can fix him no, no it is his mental health snapping and falling down to obsession and possessive nature.

.Sex with him is when the mood strikes for him which for him goes hand and hand with claiming you and showing all of hell you are his.

.He finds you attraive not sexually but in other ways your smile you laugh your personality.

(Asexuals can have sex and some do not mind having sex but some make a compromise to have sex with their partner. In alastor case sex is more about possession and showing you you belong to him in the most instinctive way of man)

.Such as when he is jealousy maybe you went on a date with someone else or had a hickey or maybe were close to someone he hates like Vox.

.This Possessive nature of him does trigger his urges to claim you as he knows a way for someone to show that they belong to someone is mark them.

.So he leaves hickeys, bite marks, claw marks. of course he also will let you mark he is a sadist masochist

.He wears his hickeys with bride but if someone gets to sexual with him about he does not like it that is only for you.

.He is the possessive type he does not share.

.Even if he did not tell you that you belong to him. You should just be loyal to him without even knowing that is what he wants.

.He is the type to play games he will test your loyalty to him and to make see how far he can push.

.He is not even fazed when you scream at him your done with his bullshit smile still in place.

.He is almost always put together.

.Only when you are really really hurt may it be emotionally, physically, sexually. This is when he shows concern in his way.

.He would not be above killing and I mean really killing people who hurt you he may even cook them up for you and serve them to you.

.Watching you eat the man or woman who hurt you.

.He does not imagine settling done at first more so he is not the most romantic he loves you in his way and you signing your soul to him is most time good enough for marriage vows to him

.The few situations he wants to marry it will also not be a traditional church wedding it will be legit magical soul binding marriage vows. Things Lucifer could not even break.

.He is not above punishing you either, he is the type to punish you by taking away freedoms and maybe even spanking at first.

.But if he needs to send a message to you to not be sexual he will have his tentacles and shadow demons fuck you in public to show you and ALL of hell that you belong to him and HIM ALONE.

.If you try to leave him he will start off small with taking small things but if you do run from and stay out of his reach for some time

.Well he will either break your legs or chain you to the bed. Depends on how angry you made him by leaving.

.He will always be there to patch you up if he hurts you.

.He will also put it on not in blaming way but you should know you are his and you need to follow his rules.

.He will teach you eventually and you will love him even more.

.He also likes to tease you making you fluster it makes him truly happy and he takes great pride and getting reactions out of you.

.He also would let you touch him but still sometimes it will still make him uncomfortable again rules but at least he is trying for you.

.If you ever got redemption he go up to heaven and tear through feathers, muscle, and bone.... dragging you back to hell with him! You are NEVER Allowed to Leave him EvER.

(WOOOO Alastor HAS So many fucking layers if he is a yandere XD these are just his base ones with different circumstances the headcanons for who he is as a yandere can change. Anyways I hope you all enjoyed and stay sexy everyone!]

#yandere #yandere alastor #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere headcanons #headcanons #base headcanons #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor x reader #epicnessqueen

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posi-pan · 3 years

Text

30 pansexual quotes for 30 days of pride

1970s

“With an open-ended attitude of genuinely caring for each other but I-don’t-care-what-you-call-me, polymorphous perverse, anything-that-feels-good-goes pansexuality.” —Ramparts, 1973

“I actually prefer the concept of pansexuality. The prefix ‘pan’ means that you're open to all kinds of sexual experiences, with all kinds of people. It means an end to restrictions, it means you could relate sexually to any human being, it means an end to unreal limits.” —SPEC Magazine, 1974

“Whether you call a person who is able to have sex with a male or female bisexual, AC-DC, switch-hitter, ambisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or, in Freud’s words, a ‘polymorphous perverse,’ his or her sexual persuasion is certainly nothing new.” —New York Magazine, 1974

“David Bowie and other painted persons are happy to be asexual, bisexual, polysexual, pansexual, whatever works.” —Stereo Review, 1974

“If I must have a label call me pansexual, ambisexual, antisexual, androgynous, neutral, undecided...just don't make me into something I’m not!” —View from Another Closet, 1976

“Others did consider and still consider themselves bisexual. Here are some stories of bisexual or pansexual women.” —The Gay Report, 1979

1980s

“Kinsey supported an ideology that might be called pansexuality; ‘anything goes’ that provides excitement and pleasure.” —Fidelity, 1988

“A number of self-defined ‘pansexual’ were sitting there.” —Bi Women Quarterly, 1989

1990s

“Alternative lifestyles are also almost nonexistent in sci-fi. I do not speak only of homosexuality. I speak of pansexuality, polyfidelity, bisexuality, and even asexuality.” —Anything That Moves, 1992

“Pansexual could convey the unfortunate impression that we are obsessed with sex or that we sleep with anything that moves, but should be understood to mean that we open ourselves up to all sexual possibilities.” —Closer to Home, 1992

“I guess I think of bisexuality, omnisexuality, pansexuality as being more ‘anarchist’ that strict homosexuality or heterosexuality.” —A Bisexual Feminist Perspective, 1993

“I’m personally happy I’m bisexual/pansexual because I don’t like to discriminate on the basis of gender.” —Reactionary Queers? Queers React, 1993

“My approach to the presence of all women in the trades, whether they be lesbian, bi-sexual, transexual, straight, asexual or pansexual is simple: WE’RE HERE! WE’RE THERE! WE’RE EVERYWHERE! GET USED TO IT!” —Tradeswomen Magazine, 1994

“I am a femme to my genderfucked butch girlfriend. I am pansexual. I can relate to both the masculine and feminine.” —Sinister Wisdom, 1994

“Broughton describes himself as a pansexual androgyne, not a bisexual nor a homosexual nor a heterosexual.” —Gay & Lesbian Literature, 1994

“For some, ‘queer’ encompasses this broader vision, but others prefer newer labels with less baggage, such as pansexual, polysexual, or omnisexual.” —Anarchy: A Journal of Desire Armed, 1994

“Actual self-identification of the women I interviewed included lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, dyke, and queer.” —Lavender, Lipstick, Labryses and Leather, 1994

“I do not directly address other sexual identities, such as pansexual or omnisexual, sadomasochistic, ‘self-sexual,’ or radically celibate.” —Dyke Ideas, 1994

“Bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, multisexual, ‘just sexual,’ androgynous, genderfucked, bi-gendered, non-gendered, gender-indifferent, or ‘don’t label me’ human beings seeking to create communities with those with whom we find common cause, even (or maybe especially!) if our labels don’t happen to coincide.” —Bisexual Politics, 1995

“ATM is particularly interested in work by bi/pan/or-similar-sexuals.” —Anything That Moves, 1996

“Pansexual and transgendered communities who reject the Heterosexual/Homosexual paradigm in favor of a multiplicity of identities, and for whom concepts of identity are more openly related to the complication and/or subversion of cultural norms.” —Comatonse, 1997

“Bisexuals never shut up and went away. Omnisexuals and pansexuals began to dot the landscape.” —PoMoSexuals, 1997

“The term pansexual attractions is a liberating and newly coined reference to individuals who are primarily attracted to all individuals and all sexes.” —Transgender Care, 1997

“Express yourself: About your life as a lesbian, gay, two-spirited, bisexual, intersexed, transgendered, queer of color, queer with a disability, pansexual. The possibilities are infinite.” —The Emily, 1997

“What intrigues Haynes about the era is its full-out embracing of nonconformity, its willingness to be bisexual, pansexual, to shock with lipstick, eye shadow, or attitude.” —The Advocate, 1998

“What about bisexual-, omnisexual-, and pansexual-identified people?” —The Catalyst, 1999

“Regarding sexual identity, researchers can interview those identifying as bisexual, pansexual, asexual, and so forth.” —Journal of Women and Social Work, 1999

“Pansexual: having sexual desires, interests, and behavior with all genders, sexual orientations, and persuasions. Many people embrace this term in an attempt to broaden the categories of gay and straight, man and woman, S/M and vanilla.” —The Survivor's Guide to Sex, 1999

“The majority of us are not only bisexual or pansexual, but the majority of us change over time.” —Journal of Lesbian Studies, 1999

“Whether you call yourself bisexual, polysexual, multisexual, pansexual, me-sexual or refuse to be labeled altogether, if you are like me and find people attractive regardless of their sex or gender, then we need you.” —Anything That Moves, 1999

(twitter thread version of this post)

#pansexual #pansexuality #pan pride #pan positivity #reference #mine #text #i posted a quote a day on twitter but doing one whole post of all the quotes on here is easier and neater than making 30 posts lmao #long post

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soft-sapphic-love · 2 years

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I don't kno what to do. I identified as a lesbian my whole life and right now I look more butch/gnc. I have absolutely no interest in men at all and barely even have male friends (cis or trans). But recently I've developed feelings for a male friend of mine. He recently came out to mw as genderfluid but I've had a few friends blow up on me for calling myself a lesbian still. I don't kno what to do cause I don't think I'm bi or pan cause I only have desire for women and this one specific person. He's not out to anyone else but I'm scared of getting bullied for still calling myseld a lesbian if we end up dating cause he still appears as a cis man.

We live in a conservative area and it's already hard for me as a butch, so it would be twice as hard for my friend to be openly himself. But even if he does come out, would I still be able to call myself a lesbian? I don't feel like any other labe ll is rigut for me but i don't kno what to do.

short answer- yes, you can absolutely identify as lesbian still.

long answer- you’ve identified as lesbian your entire life. we love to act like human sexuality and attraction is defined, but the truth is, for most people it never can be. if you’re not attracted to men, but this one person who is sometimes a man is an exception, that’s okay. sexuality and attraction can have exceptions because they’re not boxes, they are simply parts of who we are and sometimes there are parts of it we can’t explain or understand. if you know in your heart that you’re a lesbian, and you like this one person who is a man, that doesn’t mean that you don’t know yourself, and sometimes, attraction and feelings can break a mold of what we previously thought about ourselves. that doesn’t mean you were wrong about yourself, just that you hadn’t fully discovered everything yet. you do not have to meet some undefinable quota of lesbianism at all times in order to identify as it. you said yourself- you’ve identified that way your entire life, and it is what feels right, and you know yourself best. you will always be welcome in the lesbian community. labels don’t exist to define us. we don’t have to fit them perfectly. it’s okay to use the word that makes the most sense to us even if it isn’t the most conventional usage of it. you don’t owe anyone anything except honesty to yourself, and any lesbian who isn’t willing to have room in their community for people with experiences that aren’t as clear-cut or with different experiences, is part of the problem, not you. i understand being scared to identify as it, but i promise you’re not hurting anyone by being you. that does not mean you need to come out to anyone or tell anyone if you’re afraid of their reaction. your safety is important, as is his. i don’t have dating advice, but when it comes to both yours and his safety in a conservative area, that’s a conversation that needs to happen mutually. you don’t have to tell anyone who you are, but it’s okay to internally identify as it even if you don’t tell anyone else, it’s your identity after all! i wish you luck and safety in whatever you decide to do moving forward!

#orientation advice #lesbian #sapphic #advice #lesbian advice #mod reign #answered #asks

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narrativelysignificantturtleduck · 2 years

Note

7 & 12 for aang and 10 & 13 for toph

ooh these are good!

aang

7. A quote of them that you remember

"it's easy to do nothing, but it's hard to forgive", because when i watched the series with my mom she said "spoken like a true buddhist" after that line. i know that doesn't mean much when i say that came from a white woman who reads buddhist books, but i kind of hope she's right bc i think what aang has to say about forgiveness and the futility of revenge in that episode is very wise and it'd be cool if it was culturally accurate. what he says isn't that the harm should be denied or you have to make nice with those who hurt you, but that you can't let yourself be consumed by hatred for the person. it seems in line with what i know of buddhist beliefs on attachment - not that you can't care about things, but clinging to something, holding too tightly, causes you suffering because everything is impermanent.

i love that aang doesn't stop katara from going on her quest, and i love that she eventually realizes he's right and chooses to spare yon rha's life. she doesn't forgive yon rha, absolve him of his crimes, or downplay the harm he caused, but she lets go of her desire for revenge and realizes it won't bring her peace.

southern raiders reminds me a lot of a star trek episode in its committment to exploring an ethical issue and following it through to a powerful conclusion. best episode of atla no contest

12. Sexuality hc!

aang is bi or pan or whatever word you use to mean "attracted to multiple genders". despite zero canon evidence i am 100% convinced he and kuzon would've dated if he hadn't gotten frozen

toph

10. Describe the character in one sentence

toph breaks free of the sheltered environment she was raised in to become the powerful and fiercely independent earthbending master she was meant to be - making some friends along the way.

13. Your favorite friendship they have

i really love her dynamic with katara, the way that their different personalities and backstories rub up against each other. katara had to take on more responsibility because her parents weren't around, whereas toph was never allowed any responsibility at all. katara yearns for other people to help her and share her burden, while toph wants to be independant. katara is correct that toph should contribute to the group, but toph's resistance to it makes sense. she has to learn that katara offers and expects help because she thinks toph is capable, not because she thinks toph is weak.

honestly i just kind of admire how well-written it is. a conflict between two female characters where both sides are understandable, one that stems from their personalities and backstories, that is not free of gendered dimensions (katara trying to be her mom and thus coming off as mothering/toph hating being treated as a delicate girl and thus being overly independent) but not defined by them either...it feels like a novelty in fiction. they're not instant bffs and they're not fighting over a guy. they have an actual conflict and work through it.

thanks, these were super fun!

ask game

#forgot how much i love southern raiders and the katara&toph dynamic #WELL-WRITTEN FEMALE CHARACTERS #also aang :)#atla #aang #toph #ask

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 3 years

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Hi. First of all, thank you for your help and advice.

So I've been identifying as bi for years now and I wonder if it's alright if my definition of bi is what other people might rather call pan. I've never been attracted to enbies, or not that I know of at least, but is it alright if I define my bisexuality as attraction regardless of gender identity? I'm kind of struggling with feeling valid.

You can describe and call your sexuality whatever you want. There’s no higher authority that you have to ask for permission or that hands you a licence that you are only allowed to keep if you follow an exact set of rules.

If you feel like “attraction regardless of gender” is a phrase that fits your sexuality and you also prefer the term bisexual over pansexual then so be it. Bisexuality just means “attraction to more than one gender” and nowhere does it say that bi people cannot also experience attraction regardless of gender.

Maddie

#Anonymous

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queer-as-frikc · 3 years

Note

I am a little confused, can you please help me out?

I am a lesbian and my girlfriend came out as trans. Obviously i still love him, so does that make me bisexual now?

(I hope i didn't use any words that might hurt the trans community, if i did can you please correct me?) Thank you 🤗

i dont think you were disrespectful or anything since you gendered him correctly and all =)

anyways, the only person who can define your sexuality is you! if you feel like you are attracted to both men and women, then yeah you might be bi! or you could be pan, or demi or whatever else you want to be and thats the beauty of it. you get to decide based on how you feel =) also, its completely ok if you never decide! all up to you =)

you and your boyfriend should probably talk about it, tho, if you want to label yourselves differently or anything. obviously, the most imortant thing is that you show him your support and love through his journey =)

hope this helps <3

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aro-culture-is · 4 years

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Hi! So my best friend recently came out as aro but not ace. And i am really happy that she can be her true self but I am a little confused. Does this mean she can never fall in love? Or that she can love someone bit does not have crushes? If you wouldn’t mind explaining it, i would really appreciate it! Thanks! -Your neighbourhood bisexual

Hi! I’m glad that you’re taking the time to find out more about your friend’s identity.

Love is probably one of the most poorly defined and broadly used terms in the english language. From the context of your ask, I think it might be a good idea for me to explain something called the Split Attraction Model, or the SAM. At it’s most basic, it refers to the “splitting” of attraction into romantic and sexual attraction. If you can think of how love can be romantic, familial, or more broad (like loving that textbook with real MVP authors who actually try to explain things simply!), it’s a very similar concept.

If you can imagine how someone might like someone as a potential romantic partner, but not necessarily find them physically attractive, or how you can find someone physically attractive but not like their personality (ie, sexual or aesthetic attraction but not romantic), you can think about the SAM.

Going back to never falling in love - in a romantic sense? Most likely not! While some people who are aromantic or aro-spectrum very rarely experience romantic attraction, or only experience it in very specific circumstances, there is a reason that we have chosen our labels. If you want to know if your friend has ever experienced romantic attraction, you can ask. A good format may be, “Hey, so I was doing some research on what aromantic means and I found that some aromantic people rarely experience attraction. I was wondering, if you’re okay with me asking, do you think you’ve ever felt romantic attraction?” Whatever she says, respect it, and please use caution. There’s little else worse when coming out as aro than someone looking for reasons to disbelieve us and “fix” us, and it’s easy to be afraid that these questions are leading there.

Falling in love one last time - non-romantic love is completely separate from being aromantic for most people. Exceptions exist, but unless she brings it up? Don’t worry for now. It’s pretty intra-community still.

Finally, crushes vs love... in all honesty, I would greatly appreciate knowing what the hell the distinction is. An aromantic person trying to describe a crush is very much a blind leading the blind situation, and you’ll find pages upon pages of us trying to do that for questioning aros. We don’t know. If you’ve never smelled vanilla before, how do you describe it? If you’ve never smelled vanilla before, how do you describe the difference in smell between fake and real vanilla? All I can tell you is the answer is probably no to both crushes and love if you mean romance.

You mentioned your friend is “not ace”. This could mean that your friend is alloaro (aka: experiences sexual attraction but not romantic). In that case, your friend can experience that pull of “ooh, I’d like to have sex with this specific person”, but not “ooh, I’d like to do romantic things with this specific person”. When combined with a sexual orientation label: bi aro, gay aro, pan aro, etc.

tldr; love is poorly defined. aromantic = does not experience romantic attraction, some exceptions exist. romantic attraction is something you probably can define better than us, sorry.

I hope this helps!

#aro #aromantic #actually aro #actually aromantic #ask #advice #aaa this was actually hard to answer bcs love is so freaking hard to describe #also apologies for how long this took!#life decided to be a butt #Anonymous #mod kee

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