#because yeah he was getting into electronic music and that was quickly becoming apparent to be the next Thing in popular music

[viir-tanadhal]

thinking about neil recording demos a couple months before he met chris

#i mentioned it today to my mom and now im like oh. hm #i can't exactly articulate it im too tired #just the fact he did that interests me #i wish he'd talk more about his thought process from that time #because yeah he was getting into electronic music and that was quickly becoming apparent to be the next Thing in popular music #hence why he bought a synthesizer #but even tho he spent his redundancy money on it thats still a big investment and commitment #and then to go and record demos professionally at a studio? #idk it just seemed like around that time/before then he kind of became disillusioned that he'd actually get anywhere #to then doing all of that in 1980/1981 #i just want some kind of insight in what was going through his head beyond what he kind of says in the preface of his book #he broke up with his girlfriend around then idk if that had anything to do with it. probably not but 🤷‍♀️

[jessilyria]

ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING WE KNOW ABOUT THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY SEASON 2

Hello! This covers everything from trailers, promo pics, interviews, and articles. Pics and links will be included. The info is in vague chronological order (as much as it can be.)

Needless to say, this post contains SPOILERS and is LONG ^‿^

If you’d like a non-spoilery version with just the basic facts please check out my Umbrella Academy Timeline.

***********************************************************************

According to Steve Blackman, season 2 is about second chances and the endgame is still to stop the 2019 apocalypse (X).

The opening scene of season 2:

The siblings arrive in the past at different times, but all in the same spot - an alleyway with some dumpsters which leads out onto a high-street. 

Noticeable locations on the high-street include a beauty salon for black people, and an electronics shop which later on closes down and becomes a base for the group.

The order they arrive in is the order the promo pictures were released: Ben & Klaus, Allison, Luther, Diego, Vanya, Five.

It will likely take a while before the whole team is reunited, and possibly longer before the siblings begin to meet the new characters: “It was several episodes before we all started to interact with each other” (X).

Ben & Klaus land in February 1960 (X). As Klaus is sober, his powers continue to develop and he uses them to impresses some people. (X)

"Klaus effectively starts the hippie movement off early by founding a cult whose philosophy is based on the lyrics of pop songs that have yet to be written. “Don’t go chasing waterfalls. Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to,” he tells one awed follower." (X)

"Destiny's Children! Let us commune with music." *starts whistling*

But Klaus isn’t as happy as he seems in this new life of cult stardom. “He can’t deal with the praise; it’s just become strangulating.” (X)

There’s also tension between Klaus and Ben, but its unknown whether this is because of the cult, because Klaus is "trying to rekindle his relationship with Dave" (X), or because Klaus’ evolved powers mean Ben can now possess him (X). Either way, Ben’s “determined not to be invisible to the ones he loves, willing to go further than ever before to make his presence known.” (X)

As Klaus is wearing the same outfit as the promo pics (and has a long beard which he later loses), its likely the following scene takes place early on.

Klaus: Now what? Ben: Remember when I told you the engine was overheating? Klaus: Yeah, well, being smart doesn't make you interesting. Ben: Neither does your beard.

Ben: You think I’m just going to keep following you everywhere for another three years? Klaus: Yeah, you are my ghost-bitch, remember?

*************************

Klaus: My skin was on fire! Ben: Good! I’ve got to get to San Francisco, I have unfinished business.

Allison is second to appear in 1961 (X). "Confused and looking for help, Allison walks into a diner and is greeted by a “Whites Only” sign, then chased across town by a group of white men until she finds sanctuary in a beauty parlour for Black women that doubles as a meeting place for civil-rights activists." (X)

Its been confirmed that the below image is from ep 1. (X)

Have you experienced discrimination by your employer?

She meets a man named Raymond Chestnut who is a “born leader with the smarts, gravitas, and confidence to never have to prove it to anyone. He has the innate ability to disarm you with a look, and is a devoted husband.” (X)

Luther appears on April 10th 1962 and lands on a dumpster.

He ends up working for Jack Ruby (X), a mysterious man who owns a nightclub (and who fatally shot Lee Harvey Oswald after Oswald was in custody for JFK's assassination). Luther’s job involves being a driver, bouncer, and underground fighter.

Its been confirmed that the following scene is from ep 1. (X)

Diego appears on Sep 17th 1963. One of the first things he sees is a televised address from President JFK.

He ends up in an insane asylum for stalking Lee Harvey Oswald and spouting “delusional claims” about JFK’s assassination (X). Its here he meets Lila Pitts, “a chameleon who can be as brilliant or as clinically insane as the situation requires”. She’s also "unpredictable, mischievous" and "sarcastic" with a "twisted sense of humour." (X)

Vanya appears on Oct 12th 1963 (X). “She arrives and gets hit by a car, driven by a woman (Sissy). She smashes her head on the cement... She remembers her name, but nothing else.” (X)

She gets a job on a ranch as a live-in-nanny for Sissy, a "fearless, no nonsense Texas Mom" who "married young for all the wrong reasons" and is "eager to rediscover what love has to offer." (X)

Because she has forgotten her past traumas, Vanya is “much more confident and more in touch with her emotional self” (X). She forms a unique bond with Sissy’s son, Harlan, who is non-verbal (X). Its been confirmed that the following photos are from ep 1. (X)

Vanya: I wish I remembered something.
 Sissy: The doctor said it would take time. Don’t push yourself.

Vanya is also slowly discovering her powers on her own.

Five appears with Hazel on Nov 15th after witnessing the world going down in nuclear explosions.

Five: What was that? Hazel: The end of the world, November 25th 1963. Five: And where am I now? Hazel: Dallas, ten days earlier. Five: ...I need to find my family.

But of course its not going to be that easy, the Commission is still out there and “will hunt us down wherever and whenever we go.”

In the trailer we are introduced to the head of The Commission, a fish named Carmichael. He sends three Swedish assassins, Oscar, Axel, and Otto, to hunt down Five and the others.

At some point they acquire a milk-truck and one of them dresses as a milkman. On a location shoot, the Swedes were seen in their truck outside a house in an urban area. They check a map and one of them pumps a shotgun (X).

Whilst searching for his siblings Five encounters a man named Elliot, an "alien obsessive (who) witnesses The Umbrella Academy's separate arrivals." He agrees to help Five find the others. (X)

“3rd EVENT, April 10th 1962″ is above photos of Luther arriving, “September 17th 1963″ is above photos of Diego arriving, and the right column are photos of Vanya arriving still in her White Violin outfit.

Five manages to find Diego in the asylum and they have a conversation.

Five: Listen to me very closely, you gibbering moron. You are not going to do a goddamned thing. Diego: Why not? Five: Because we have to stop the apocalypse. Diego: But that doesn't happen for another 60 years. Five: Not that apocalypse, this is a... new one. It followed us.
 Diego: *begins laughing*

At some point after this the Swedes storm the asylum.

“Who are those guys?!”

Diego and Lila seem to make their escape from the Swedes and the asylum pretty quickly however. Its been confirmed that the below pic is from ep 2. (X)

Based on Diego’s outfit and length of beard, the following two scenes take place around the same time. First, a heated car conversation which Five crashes.

Diego: You don’t know anything about me! Lila: I know everything. You are an open book written for very dumb children. Diego: I am n-not trying to b-be a hero, okay? Lila: Then why are you doing this?
 Five: *appears in the backseat* Because he is an idiot. Lila: Who the hell are you? Five: Hi, I’m his loving brother. Diego: Who left me to rot in the nut-house. Five: To protect you from yourself.
 Lila: Thats quite sweet. Diego: Okay. Both of you. Out.

And second, a dark encounter with a familiar figure...

Reginald Hargreeves & Pogo

The summary for episode 2 also mentions that “an incident at the bar leads Luther to Vanya,” and “Five finds an unsettling surprise in the film Hazel left behind,” which likely links to this image:

Its been confirmed that the following scene is from ep3 (X). Klaus is seen emerging from a river - now confirmed to be the River Ganges in India/Bangladesh which is considered sacred and purifying (X). Considering the series spans 10 days and is set in Dallas, this scene is very likely a flashback.

Note Ben in the background.

Klaus is also seen in similar attire in a wealthy looking house, which is potentially part of the commune where the cult operates.

Note Klaus no longer has his long beard.

And here’s Ben in what looks like a room in the same house. It's interesting to note that Ben (or the actor) is looking straight into the camera, implying its a first person point-of-view.

Apparently also in ep3 we have this delightful gem of Klaus being Klaus. (presumably theres a pool at the commune?).

Episode 3 also sees the Swedes chasing Vanya in a cornfield until she uses her powers to defend herself.

Thanks to this, Five is able to track Vanya down (X). It's been confirmed that the following pic is from episode 3. (X)

And based on Vanya's clothes, Five then takes her to a cafe to explain a few things.

Vanya: Are you gonna tell me what the hell's going on? Five: When you were a baby you were bought by an eccentric billionaire. He raised you in an elite academy with six other siblings with extrodinary powers, but in the year 2019 in order to avoid the apocalypse we jumped into a vortex and ended up being scattered throughout the timeline in Dallas, Texas. Vanya: ... Five: Any questions? Vanya: ... what do you mean the apocalypse?

At some point ollowing on from this (but unknown which ep) Luther and Vanya have this conversation:

Vanya: What caused the apocalypse? Luther: ... You did... but not alone. I was part of it, we all- Vanya: How? Luther: You got angry. Lost control, you... blew up the moon. It slammed into Earth wiping out everything.

In ep3 we see both Allison and Raymond actively involved in the protests against the segregation by taking part in a sit-in (X).

Allison: I’d like to be served, please.
 Waitress: *pointing to a Whites Only sign* Can’t you read, girl?
 Allison: Seven languages.
 Customer: Oh, you smart one, huh?
 *The door opens and many other blank protesters enter.*
 Allison: We’d like to be served, please.

However, it goes badly as "police brutally attack (the) peaceful protestors." (X).

The summary for ep3 says that “Allison reconnects with Klaus,” and in ep4 she is “searching frantically for Ray.” It seems, based on the following pics, that she finds Ray in jail and Klaus & Ben have a hand in getting him out.

Note the word "buearu" on the window and Ray in the background.

Based on Klaus' outfit, its sometime around this point he goes on a massive bender. We see him running with a bottle of whiskey, his gleeful cult following him, and dancing in a drinks aisle.

Note that Klaus is bleeding from his lip.

Following on from this, Klaus wakes up on Allisons floor, feeling worse for wear.

Ben: And how are we feeling this morning? Klaus: Ugh, peaches and cream, how are you? Ben: Curious. How many more rock bottoms are you going to have to hit before you start taking care of yourself?

In episode 4 “Vanya contends with a crisis at the farm.” Could this link to her developing romance as, despite Sissy still being with her husband (X), she and Vanya begin exploring a relationship?

The summary confirms that in ep4, “Five, Diego, and Lila crash a party at the Mexican consulate.” But the Swedes are still hot on their tail.

Note the third Swede in the background, chasing Five?

After surviving this, they return to their base. The following pic has been confirmed as happening in ep4 (X).

At some unknown point the Swedes (or two of them) also go after Allison, though it appears she fights back (and kills one of them?).

"They weren't here to sell vacuums!"

Also at some unknown point, Allison and Luther have a catch up. Based on Luthers partially healed face, this is after his conversation with Vanya in ep2.

Luther: We did it again… apparently.
 Allison: Did what again?
 Luther: Ended the world.

Also at some unknown point Vanya and Diego reconcile: “I don’t remember what I did, but I’m sorry, if that means anything,” Vanya tells Diego as he threateningly juggles a knife. “It does,” he responds, before accepting her as a confidant he can turn to for advice on how to handle his feelings for Lila. (X)

It appears that ep5 is when the whole family finally reunites. The episode summary explains how “summoned to an emergency meeting, the siblings hatch very different plans for how to spend their last 6 days on Earth.” (I have no idea what order the conversation goes in as each bit is a snippet from a different promo vid).

Five: Klaus, is Ben here? Klaus: No, unfortunately ghosts can’t time-travel. Ben: Are you kidding me?

Five: (I/We) really screwed the pooch on this one, the whole going back in time and getting stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is… we brought the end of the world back here with us. Klaus: Oh my god, again? My cult is gonna be so pissed. I told them we had until 2019. Five: We have until Monday.

Klaus: Is it Vanya? Allison: Klaus! Klaus: What? Its usually Vanya.

Vanya: None of us are supposed to be here, right? I mean, what if its us?

Luther: Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald. Diego: Hey, you're working for Jack Ruby! Klaus: Allison has been very involved in local politics. Allison: Okay, you started a cult! Ben: Thank you!

“We have to make it right again, before everyone and everything we know is dead.”

Following on from this, Klaus, Vanya and Allison have some bonding time in the beauty parlour.

Vanya: How do you guys deal with this? Allison: What? Vanya: I mean all of it. Time travel. Seeing the dead...?

Vanya: I’m gunna tell Sissy that I love her… I don’t want any secrets.
 Klaus: Yeah? Allison: Yeah! Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Yes. Cos, y’know, if, if its all going to go tits up the least I could do is be honest with my husband. Klaus: Oh… does that mean I have to face my cult? I just hate group breakups, thats why I stopped dating twins.

“Klaus, Vanya, and Allison end a moping session by dancing together to Twistin’ the Night Away.” (X). Its been confirmed that the following pic is from ep 5. (X)

In episode 6, “Dave visits Klaus’ compound” and “the siblings meet their father for dinner” in a Tiki bar. Its been confirmed that the following pic is from ep 6 (X).

An interview with the cast has them talking about ‘the elevator scene’ and how hard it was to shoot because everyone kept cracking up. (X)

Five: All right, quick run down. Luther; super strength, Klaus can commune with the dead, Allison can rumour anyone to do anything-
 Diego: Yeah except she never uses it.
 Allison: I heard a rumour you punched yourself in the face.
 *Diego punches himself in the face.*
 Reginald: *looking at Vanya* And you?
 Luther: Uh, maybe we don’t… take Vanya for a test drive.
 Klaus: Oh yeah thats probably not a good idea…
 Vanya: What, I think I can handle it.
 *Despite everyones protests, Vanya explodes a fruit bowl.*

Based on Luther and Klaus’ outfits, the following scenes also take place sometime around the same time (ep6/7).

First, Luther pulls up to a house in an urban area, he gets out the car and has a conversation with a man (X). This is the same house where the three Swedes were seen in their milk-truck at night.

Note the gun and flask on the seat.

Next, Allison and Raymond deal with a body (of a Swede?) while Klaus & Ben don’t help. The summary of ep6 also mentions that Allison gives Ray a peek at her powers, which is maybe why he’s on board to deal with a body.

But what's the big flash that startles them? Well it may have something to do with all this craziness:

Note the chairs and people on the ceiling.

It’s hard to tell but since Ben is there, this could be Klaus being thrown backwards? The outfit certainly looks similar.

In an interview, the cast talk about how the room had to be painted completely white (then returned to normal), and how nice it was for the character of Ben to be able to share a moment with Vanya (X). This implies Vanya looses control and Ben is able to talk her down.

At some unknown point, it looks like the siblings all return to the academy.

Note that the background behind Klaus implies he’s sat in the same seat that he did as a child.

An interview asked the question "You all eat 'brain' at a family dinner..." (X) and in a different interview the cast talk about the brain acid trip (X). Could this be when that happens?

Either way, things likely don’t run smoothy. “Reginald still proves just as capable of preying on their deepest insecurities, while somehow leaving them attacking each other instead of him.” (X)

The summary for ep7 mentions someone named Carl issuing a warning to Vanya, and in ep8 it states that the FBI torture her, so its most likely the following images are from this time:

The tape recorder is turned off...

The figure from behind slaps a cloth over Vanya’s face as she takes on the appearance of The White Violin.

“A dimly lit room... Vanya is strapped to a chair. The floor is soaked with water. At the moment she is being tortured for information... After an electric shock the lights on the ceiling begin to flicker. “‘Is she doing that?’ asks a fearful FBI agent.” (X)

Also in ep7, “Five travels to 1982 to carry out his new mission”. Theres a possibility that Luther is also involved in this as a promo pic has snow surrounding the house, which I don’t think would happen in November in Dallas?

Five: I need a spotter. Luther: What is that? Like a wingman?

The summary for ep8 includes the fact that “Diego discovers what causes the apocalypse.”

“Everything in our new lives is connected to the plot to assassinate the president. That can’t be a coincidence.”

The fact we see the gun Five was going to use to assassinate JFK, implies this scene takes place on Nov 22nd, 3 days before the apocalypse. And we know from the summaries that in ep8 “Five concocts a risky plan to intercept another version of himself.”

Old Five, young Five (who’s still really old Five), and Luther.

However this may not go to plan as the summary for ep9 says, “the Fives plot against each other.”

And the summary for episode 10 is: “reeling from the events at the Dealey Plaza, the siblings head to the farm to help save Harlan.”

MOMENTS I CAN’T PLACE:

Someone flips over a table in what looks like it could be a distillery. Based on outfit and hair this could possibly be Lila, Klaus, or (less likely) Diego. Five is also there.

A similar (the same?) person flips over while avoiding gunfire. There are targets and what looks like training equipment, and the person shooting is standing under a large umbrella.

If the flipping person is Lila, then this may link to what the summaries reveal about her arc: In ep5 she confronts her mother, in ep6 the Handler is mentioned (albeit talking to Five), and in ep9 she learns the truth about her parents…

Five sneaks through a room with a camera and lights. On the blackboard the word “Pogo” is written, implying this could be Reggies house and this room is where he is teaching and studying young Pogo.

Diego walks into a control room. It looks like there might be 2-way glass. Could this link to ep8 when Diego discovers what cases the apocalypse?

Five is seen in a building with wooden panels on the walls.

Based on the background of this shot of Carmichael, the building could be part of The Commission.

“You...”

Five gets buried in rubble. Aidan looks chill about it though.

***********************************************************************

Well done for making it all the way! 

I’ve tried to avoid speculation as much as possible and keep the language suggestive. I don’t know all the facts, I WILL have made errors, probably many! So please take all this with a suggestive grain of salt, I am just a hooman trying to use her squishy brain.

Please let me know if you spot any errors, think of anything else I can add, or if you want more info about any specific event ^‿^

#the umbrella academy #tua #tua s2 #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #diego hargreeves #allison hargreeves #luther hargreeves #reginald hargreeves #pogo

[freudensteins-monster]

There’s Something About Darcy

Found this in my DEAD folder. Apparently I was planning on doing more to it but giving it a read through now (two and a half years after it was started) it seems like a decent enough one shot. According to my notes it was inspired by THIS POST.

There’s something familiar about Darcy Lewis. It takes a while for it to register with Tony at first because no sooner had they been introduced than he attempted to prove himself more knowledgeable in the field of astrophysics than Thor’s girlfriend. Tony maintains that it was a draw, no matter what Foster says.

It isn’t until a few days later, after Foster and Co are settled in, that he really notices her. He finds his way to Foster’s lab in the hopes of arguing with her further over one of her published papers (his own work was going nowhere fast and he was in want of a distraction) but finds it empty save for Darcy. She’s kneeling on a stool, the innards of one of Jane’s machines laid out on the lab table in front of her.

“What the hell did you do, kid? Foster’s going to kill you for messing with her babies,” Tony warns though his tone is light, full of his usual wry amusement. He thinks about helping the intern (he’d completely forgotten her name) put them back together but the thought of throwing the heaping piles of scrap metal out and replacing them with shiny new ones to piss Foster off even more held him back.

“Relax bossman, I’m fixing it,” Darcy assures him without bothering to look up from motherboard she’s inspecting.

“And when exactly did you become an astrophysicist?” Tony demands to know, peering over her shoulder.

“Not until I graduate next year, but I’m pretty sure my computer engineering degree will do for now.”

“Computer engineering? I thought you majored in the soft sciences?”

“Yeah, at 20. But I got my computer engineering degree from MIT at 17. You actually gave my commencement speech,” she adds, offering him the smallest of smirks as she stares at him over the top of her glasses.

It’s that look, that barely there smirk, that sends Tony’s mind spiralling. Tony’s seen that look in hundreds photos and videos and various reflective surfaces. He knows that look. He’s pretty sure Pepper hates that look. Tony has to remind himself to breathe. He leaves Darcy to her work and rushes back to his lab under the guise of getting back to his own, but instead he has JARVIS pull up everything he can find about Darcy Maria Lewis.

Maria? Really? Tony groans, feeling the colour drain from his face. What kind of woman would have his kid and never tell him about it but still give her his mother’s name?

He looks up Elizabeth Anne Lewis (nee Benson) next and tries to answer that question. For the life of him he can’t remember her, but that does little to reassure him. He and JARVIS spend the night looking into the Lewis women – they’re both incredibly smart and accomplished, and Tony would be pretty damn proud to have Darcy for a daughter, once he got over the shock of it - but when Pepper comes to drag him to bed several hours later he’s still got no proof to support his theory. For all appearances Darcy Lewis is the daughter of Michael and Elizabeth Lewis. Tony really wants to believe that, wants to believe that they were/are happily married and that he didn’t sleep with an older, married woman and father her illegitimate child.

Ugh. It’s enough to make him want to take up drinking heavily again. He quickly throws all his research in his virtual trash can and follows Pepper to bed, blaming the minor obsession on lack of sleep.

He tries to forget about it, he really does, but every time he sees Darcy he can’t help but see bits of himself in her; brown hair, brown eyes, smart as a whip, never-ending sass, and that goddamn smirk. He has JARVIS triple check his credit card statements and travel itinerary against Darcy’s mother’s but the results are the same.

He keeps his crazy theories to himself until Cap’s birthday blowout. That night he witnesses Darcy drink Barton under the table and then proceed to put together a fully customised iPod (after Thor accidently stepped on hers) until she passed out on the finished product.

“Tony, what’s wrong?” Pepper asks in the early hours of the morning after rolling over to find Tony sitting up in bed, a haunted expression on his face. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“Darcy Lewis is my kid,” he mumbles.

“That’s a weird nightmare,” Pepper replies drowsily.

“No, Pep. I think Lewis might actually be my kid.”

“What? Why?”

“Look at this!” he snaps, waving the Darcy’s iPod in front of Pepper’s face. “She made this from scratch after doing shots of Asgardian mead. Who else could do that?”

“Tony, alcoholism and a knack for electronics aren’t exactly hereditary traits.”

“I know, but…” Tony sighs irritably.

“But what?”

“She’s got my smile, Pepper,” he says, his own lip twitching as an example. “She’s got my eyes, my smarts, my sense of humour… my taste in music,” he adds in frustration, throwing Darcy’s iPod onto the bed. “Her middle name’s Maria, for Christ’s sake.”

“It’s just a coincidence, Tony,” Pepper tries to assure him as she rubs slow circles over his back.

“That’s a hell of a lot of coincidences,” Tony mutters, but he leans into Pepper’s touch, eventually lying down next to her and drifting off to sleep.

 A few days later Pepper is making her way to Tony’s after a meeting, an espresso from the communal kitchen in hand, when she spies Darcy sitting at her desk in Jane Foster’s lab. She fully intends walk straight past but Tony’s crazy theory is still keeping him, and her, up at night so Pepper decides to talk to the girl and perhaps come away able to poke a few more holes in Tony’s theory.

“Hello Darcy,” Pepper beams startling the girl.

“Ms Potts! Um, hi!” Darcy babbles nervously, almost knocking over her own identical cup of coffee. “What are you doing here? I mean, I’m sure you can go anywhere you want, but did you want something? I will totally give you whatever you want.”

“I just wanted to stop by and say hello, and see how you fared after Tony’s party. I hear you over indulged in some Asgardian mead,” Pepper teases.

“Ugh,” Darcy groans. “I swear I’m never drinking that stuff again. I totally lost a day. I mean it, I have no idea where the fifth of July went.”

“I’m sure JARVIS could help you figure that out, if you wanted him to.”

“Oh, no, I think I’m better off not knowing.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better now,” Pepper smiles. She turns to leave but hesitates when another topic of conversation occurs to her. “Did Tony return your iPod? I remember seeing him toying with it the other day and I told him to give it back to you…”

“Yeah, he did. He left it on my desk for me to find.”

“And he didn’t try and improve it or make it sentient or something, did he?”

“Nah. It’s fine. Though I don’t remember ever owning quite that many Black Sabbath songs,” Darcy smiles, that barely there smirk, and once Pepper sees it she can’t unsee it.

“Oh my god…”

“What?” Darcy startles.

“I… I think I stepped in gum,” Pepper replies, cringing at her lame lie, not that Darcy’s noticed.

“Oh no, not your Louboutin’s!” Darcy cries, leaning down to check Pepper’s heels for her. Pepper sets down her coffee cup and leans on the desk as she lifts one foot and then the other. “No… they look okay.”

“Oh… good,” Pepper mumbles, picking up a decidedly lighter coffee cup as she straightens up. “Maybe it was just a sticky bit of floor.”

“Probably,” Darcy nods in agreement.

“Well… I should be going… and make sure Tony hasn’t blown anything up,” she adds weakly, spinning on her perfectly clean heels, hoping against hope that if Darcy notices the switch that she doesn’t chase after her.

 “Tony!” Pepper all but shouts as she bursts into his lab. “Tony, you need to test this,” she says, holding out the coffee cup like she was offering him communion wine.

“Did Natasha switch the coffee out with decaf again?” he teases.

“It’s Darcy’s.”

“Darcy doesn’t drink decaf. Wow, awesome alliteration,” he marvels.

“No, it’s her cup, her DNA. You need to test it.”

Tony freezes then glances from Pepper to the cup and back again.

“I saw her smile,” Pepper shrugs as way of an explanation. “I hate that smile.”

 Even with his top of the line private lab the DNA results still take the better part of a day to come back. JARVIS makes sure the results are for Tony’s eyes only, but he waits until Pepper’s by his side before he looks at them. His eyes flick over the DNA comparison, Pepper squeezing his free hand, and what he sees confuses him. It’s not what he thought and it takes him a second to understand what he’s seeing.

“Sonofabitch.”

 Darcy is ensconced in her Stark Tower room catching up on the astronomy reading Jane assigned her when there’s a knock at the door. To say she’s surprised to find Tony Stark on the other side of it is an understatement. When he wasn’t straight up ignoring her he was just plain weird and Darcy didn’t know what to make of it, but she filed it away as pretty standard as far as her interactions with eccentric geniuses went.

“Darcy,” Tony greets with a small nod as he fidgets nervously in her doorway.

“Hi…” Darcy replies warily. Tony’s never addressed her by her name before and she has to wonder why he’s starting now. “What’s up?”

“Can I come in?” he asks, gesturing at her couch with the tablet in his hands.

“Uh, sure. Can I get you something to drink?” she replies automatically.

“No, no, it’s fine. You might want one though after I’ve said my piece,” he adds morosely.

“Am I getting fired? Wait, you can’t do that, you’re not my boss. Am I getting kicked out?!” she demands shrilly.

“No, Lewis. Jeez, just sit down, would you?”

Darcy drops onto opposite end of the couch to Tony and regards him silently, waiting for whatever horrible news he has to tell her.

“What do you know about your grandfather?”

“Whhhhyyy do you want to know about Papa Lewis?”

“No, not that one. Your other one. Your mother’s father. Did she ever tell you about him?”

“She didn’t know him,” Darcy answers slowly, humouring the troubled looking billionaire across from her. “All my nana would ever say about him was that he was a sleazy sonofabitch and I’d do well to avoid men like him.” The silence stretches on so Darcy tries to think of something else to fill it. “She mentioned once, after a few glasses of wine, that the sonofabitch was rich and that he’d paid for her first house, even if he didn’t know it.” When Tony still remains quiet Darcy loses her patience. “Seriously, dude. You’re weirding me out. What does my absent douchebag of a grandfather have to do with anything?"

Tony offers her a sympathetic smile as he starts playing around on his tablet.

“There was something about you,” he begins. “When I met you I just felt like you were sort of familiar, and the more I learnt about you the more convinced I was that we were related,” he says passing over the tablet. “I was right. Sort of.”

Darcy’s mind reels as she scans the DNA results.

“Wait… where did you… Pepper,” she sighs. “You got Pepper to steal my coffee cup.”

“No, Pep did that on her own. After talking with you she saw what I saw and wanted to get to the bottom of it. Can’t tell you if we’re happy that you’re not my kid or not, but I suppose niece is still pretty awesome.”

Darcy gawks at Tony’s all too familiar smirk and then back down at the DNA results.

“Sonofabitch.”

#there's something about darcy #darcy lewis #tony stark #pepper potts #mcu #agent carter #freudensteins-fics

[haberdashing]

The Blind Meeting The Blind

TMA fic, sequel to A Rude Awakening. A few hours after waking up blind twenty-three years in the future, Elias gets the opportunity to meet another member of the Jonah Magnus Hate Club, though it doesn’t go as smoothly as he might have hoped.

on AO3

If Elias had thought things had moved quickly when he woke up, when the news was suddenly and unceremoniously dumped on him that he had been possessed by his old boss for the last twenty-three years and that the only reason he was himself again was because he’d been forcibly blinded, well, things just kept moving at that speed from there.

First there was the confrontation in the Panopticon, taking down Jonah Magnus for good, killing the body that had kept him going for over two hundred years now. The whole thing was strange and a bit overwhelming, naturally enough, but it was... it was good, knowing nobody else would have to go through what Elias had, at least not at Magnus’ hands. Also, if he’d had any doubt about the reality of the situation, about how the man Elias had known as generally decent boss James Wright had in fact been the founder of the Magnus Institute and had royally fucked up Elias’ life to keep running it, well, that was settled there. Which wasn’t great to know, exactly, but when so much had been up in the air, Elias didn’t entirely mind having a bit more certainty about his current situation.

Then there was the others--Jon, Basira, Daisy, and Martin--all rushing to explain a great number of things to Elias, some of which made his head spin, some of which didn’t seem possible, and yet all of which he was at this point willing to accept as his new reality, because it made more sense than any alternative he could come up with.

First, after Jonah Magnus was finally dead, the others explained how their lives, too, had been changed for the worse by Magnus’ actions in one way or another. Elias couldn’t help but think that he’d gotten the worst lot of the bunch, even after he knew what the others had gone through, but he kept his mouth shut about that. All that voicing that opinion would do was lead to arguments and risk alienating the few people Elias knew now, the few people he could tentatively see as his allies in this strange new world.

Then there was the explanation of the fear entities, how the Magnus Institute had always been dedicated to the service of the one Jon had called the Eye or the Beholding before, how there were thirteen other entities much like it dedicated to other commonplace fears, how people’s lives could be upended by encounters arranged in some way by these fear entities, how some actually chose to willingly serve one of them and were forever changed by that decision.

Oh, and apparently the world had ended, which really seemed like it should have come up a lot sooner in the conversation than it did. Apparently it was just common knowledge at this point, though, and everyone who hadn’t been unconscious for the last few months was beginning to take it for granted. Magnus had arranged for it to happen, apparently, had voluntarily assisted in letting all fourteen fears loose on the world. Had done it using Elias’ body, of course, but the others were very clear on the point that this didn’t make any of it Elias’ fault, though he hadn’t honestly thought about it that way before they all went out of their way to reassure him otherwise.

(Even with all this information being dumped on him en masse, Elias got the feeling that a few things were being left out or glossed over. Things that were more personal, perhaps, or things that might be sore spots for other members of this motley crew he had found himself part of.

For instance, all of them had seemed eager to touch briefly on the point that people could serve fears and then quickly move on without much in the way of further discussion, and Martin in particular seemed determined to reassure Elias that just because Jonah Magnus had used his body to end the world didn’t mean that the world ending was in some way his fault, while Jon was the lone man out in not uttering any of those same reassurances.

There were stories there, clearly, things purposely left unsaid, but Elias didn’t push to find out what exactly it was they were avoiding telling him. Those stories would come out in their own time, he figured. Better not to rock the boat.)

And after all of that, there was more, because aside from everything else Elias was in the future now, twenty-three years into the future--alright, maybe it was everybody else’s present day, and sure it wasn’t technically time travel, but that didn’t stop 2019 from still sounding more like the setting of a mediocre sci-fi movie than the actual current calendar year--and with that came a lot of mundane information to catch up on.

(Though sometimes it seemed like the others didn’t even remember 1996, or know how far back that really was compared to the present day, thought he needed introductions to things he already knew about--yes, Martin, he knows what the Internet is, thank you!)

So much had changed in politics, in entertainment, in technology... as their little group made their way to a restaurant (or maybe it was a bar? Elias wasn’t sure, and the name of the place sounded like it could go either way) for a celebration and a rendezvous with some like-minded souls, the others explained to Elias how cell phones had become both so common that it was unusual for somebody to not have one and so powerful that, despite by and large being smaller than the cell phones he was used to, the vast majority of them could wirelessly connect to the Internet in one way or another.

(Martin had even lent Elias his own cell phone to examine for a moment until all involved parties realized that without enabling some settings that none of them knew off-hand how to enable, all Elias could tell was that he was holding a smooth chunk of metal and plastic and glass and that it made various electronic sounds when he touched it or pressed any of its several buttons. Martin had meant well, at least. A for effort there.)

As Basira helped guide Elias into a seat, Martin asked, “Want me to put some music on? No use in having a smartphone if it doesn’t get to do anything smart, right?”

“Elias should probably get dibs, he’s never even used a smartphone before.” Daisy paused for a moment before adding, “My money’s on the Spice Girls.”

“What?”

“It’s era-appropriate, isn’t it?”

“Basira, don’t tell me you’re taking her side on this one.”

“Bet we could find an album from 1997 you’ve never even heard before, blow your little Spice Girls-loving mind.”

“But- no, I-” Elias turned towards Martin and, more importantly, away from Basira and Daisy, not really in order to hear Martin better but just to make a point. “Something from the Beatles, maybe? The Beatles are nice.”

“Beatles it is!” Martin started tap-tap-tapping away on his phone to get the music to play.

Here comes the sun, doo-do doo-doo...

“Oh, you’re no fun.”

Here comes the sun, and I say...

“Shut up.”

It’s all right.

Despite his banter with Daisy, only some of which was entirely facetious, Elias started to smile. Some of what caused his heightened mood was the choice of music to play in the background--he’d grown up listening to Beatles albums, wishing he could’ve seen them in concert, and hearing their music always reminded him of a simpler time, before Mum had died and everything had gone to hell. Some of it was the lyrics of this particular song--the world may have ended, and a lot may have changed very quickly, but he’d found a group of people who understood, who’d helped him through the worst of it, and...

Well, “all right” might be a bit of a stretch, but at least things probably weren’t going to get any worse.

That would take some real creativity on the universe’s part, for starters...

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter...

Not long after Martin stopped tapping at his phone, Elias heard a different tap-tap-tapping in the background loud enough to be audible over the music, the sound of something hitting the wood floor again and again, moving slightly closer each time.

Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here...

“Melanie! Good to see you!”

Martin mumbled a quick “I’ll just put this away” and turned off the music he’d been playing, which was definitely the polite thing to do given the situation, but it still irked Elias some to have the music he was enjoying turned off so abruptly.

Elias turned to face Melanie, or at least to face in her general direction, shooting her an awkward grin and a silent wave, neither of which prompted any reaction he could discern.

A new voice--Melanie’s, presumably--spoke up, but didn’t quite return the group’s greeting as she pulled up a seat and flopped into it. “So you did it, then?” In a slightly lower tone of voice, a bit like a stage whisper, she added, “He’s dead?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we did it.”

“Thank God. I’ll drink to that--and I’m buying this time, too.”

“Oh, you’re buying? In that case...” Daisy raised her voice, making it ring throughout the... Elias still wasn’t sure if it was a restaurant or a bar, though his money would be on it being a combination of the two, as she said, “Hey, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve got to drink in here?”

“Yeah, yeah... pull a stunt like that and I’ll do it right back when it’s your turn to pick up the tab.”

“You would, wouldn’t you.”

“Round of Old Canoe for the table?” Basira suggested.

The group murmured a few words of assent, and Basira got up, presumably to hunt down their server.

“I thought Georgie was coming.” Jon said. He sounded surprised, but also... sad? Wistful? More emotional than Jon seemed to be most of the time, at any rate.

“She came down with a nasty cold yesterday.” Melanie replied. “Said she’d have to take a rain check on celebrating. Thought I should stay home too, but I told her I’d make it here just fine on my own. Which I did, obviously.” There was an edge to that last phrase, but though Elias could guess it had something to do with her not wanting to be underestimated, any further details were lost on him. (Another story left unspoken there, he presumed.)

“Ah. Well, when you see her, tell her... tell her I hope she feels better soon.”

“Right.”

A moment later, and six glasses of beer were set on the table, one for each member of their little group.

“Cheers?”

“Cheers!”

Everyone clinked their glasses together--somebody bumped their glass into Elias’ fingers at one point, but the minor ache that followed barely even registered against the background noise of agony that remained in the holes where his eyes should be--and then drank as one. The beer tasted awful, but Elias just kept gulping it down just the same, caring less about the taste than about the sheer alcohol content involved; if there’d ever been a night that called for some drinking, this had to be it.

Elias was a little ashamed to realize that he was the last one to set his beer glass down, having emptied it entirely before he did so.

“That tasted absolutely disgusting,” Elias pronounced, “and I want another glass of it immediately.”

Elias had expected this to prompt another round of banter, perhaps offense either real or feigned from Basira for not caring for her choice of beer.

Elias had not expected Melanie to burst out saying, “Why is Elias here?”

Elias had to think for a moment before responding. “Oh, we’ve, uh, we’ve met then?”

“Don’t even start with that, I’ve had more than enough of your fucking mind games already, I know my asshole ex-boss’ voice when I hear it!”

Somewhere in Elias’ mind, he quietly filed away Melanie’s outburst as proof that Daisy hadn’t been lying when she’d said some people had known him--or rather, known Jonah Magnus in his body, really--as “that asshole.” Great reputation to start out with right there. Thanks again, Jonah Magnus.

“Maybe he had my voice, but unless we met back before 1996 and I don’t remember, that- that wasn’t actually me you-”

Melanie spoke over Elias, apparently not caring enough about his words to even let him finish saying them all. Rude. “I thought you killed him! I thought that was the whole point! Didn’t you say you killed him?”

A few “shhh”s rang out through the table, presumably because talking loudly in a public place about having killed people was generally not a good life decision, but after that, it seemed like Elias wasn’t the only one scrambling to come up with a suitable response.

“We did kill him!”

“Sort of.”

“Yeah, sort of, it’s all a bit complicated...”

Melanie scoffed. “If you guys are letting Elias of all people pull some- some power of friendship bullshit, well, count me out.”

“It’s not like that!”

“What is it like, then?” The disbelief was practically dripping off Melanie’s words.

“It’s like some old bastard from the 1800s just finished hijacking my body for the last two decades and counting, that’s what it’s like!”

Elias got the feeling, in the uncomfortable silence that followed, that the others hadn’t actually expected him to butt in like that, that they had thought he would just sit back and listen quietly while they debated, well, him.

Melanie’s voice sounded a little less hostile when she spoke up again, which wasn’t saying much, but the disbelief from before was still there in full force. “Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“And do you have proof?” Elias opened his mouth to respond, but before he could settle on a word with which to begin his rebuttal, Melanie had already continued on. “And sob stories don’t count as proof. I already know you’re good at twisting words, I don’t need more of that. I want evidence.”

“I...”

Elias let the words trail off as he realized that evidence was something he was sorely lacking in at the moment.

How could he prove who he wasn’t? How could he prove that he wasn’t the asshole who’d taken over his life for decades without warning? How could he prove what he didn’t remember, what he didn’t know...

Wait. Knowing. That was it.

Elias turned towards Jon.

“Jon. That- that thing you did when we met, where you asked me about who I was and I had to tell you... somehow... can you do that again?”

Jon let out a long, low sigh before replying. “Compelling people isn’t some sort of parlor trick, Elias.”

“But it makes people have to tell you stuff, have to tell the truth, right? That’d- that’d have to work, wouldn’t it?” Elias turned back towards Melanie, though he naturally couldn’t see the expression on her face as he added, with a wry smile, “That’s got to be evidence.”

“Hang on.” Melanie said. “Didn’t you already try that on Elias once, and it didn’t work right, because... because Elias?”

“That was then. Things have changed... a lot of things have changed. It-” Jon sighed again, softly. “It would work now. Already did, in fact.”

“Then do it.” Elias insisted.

“You... you want me to compel an answer out of you?”

“Yes!” Elias responded, so quickly and emphatically that he wondered if that answer itself had been compelled, either purposely or accidentally.

“...fine then. Who are you, and why should we trust you?”

Elias could feel the compulsion for sure this time, the pressure, the tingle, as the words started spilling out of his mouth before he thought them through. Getting magically compelled to tell the truth was an odd feeling, and an odder one to start to be getting used to, and yet, here he was.

“I’m Elias Bouchard. Only child of Julian and Nancy Bouchard. Mum’s dead, though, has been since I was twelve. Dad might be too now, I suppose, ‘s not like I’ve had the time to check. As of a couple hours ago--or, or what feels like a couple hours ago, in May 1996--I was James Wright’s secretary back in the Magnus Institute, possible promotion under discussion. So we’ve got the Institute background in common, I think, but based on what I’ve heard, that might make you trust me less if anything. If there’s something I can be sure we have in common, though, it’s that we all hate Jonah Magnus. Bastard took twenty-three years of my life away--would’ve taken it all if you lot hadn’t stepped in, I suppose. Sounds like you’ve all taken a dislike to him as well for one reason or another. So that’s- that’s what I have to offer for myself. Just another member of the Jonah Magnus... what’s the opposite of a fan club? Anti-fan club? Hate club? The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that, right? Though he’s dead now, so...”

Elias had to take a few deep breaths when he was done, and his hands were shaking a little. That was... that was more than he’d expected to get into with that speech. Came with the whole compelling thing, he supposed, but still, it was strange to be involuntarily spilling his life story to a group of near-strangers.

As Elias focused on his breathing, he heard somebody laughing loudly, and realized with a start that it was Melanie.

“The Jonah Magnus Hate Club... God, I like the sound of that.”

“You- you believe me, then? Because I’m not sure what else I can do to prove it, but I swear, just because I’ve got the same face and voice as he had when- when using my body- it doesn’t mean that was me-”

“Well, I can’t exactly see your face, anyway.”

It took Elias a moment to put the pieces together, and when he did, his stomach lurched a little. He was starting to regret that beer. “They gouged your eyes out too, then?”

“What? No!” Before Elias could ask for clarification, Melanie continued, with a strange pride in her voice, “Took them out all by myself.”

“Wait, but you weren’t possessed by Magnus-”

“Close enough. I was stuck in the Institute, doing his dirty work, helping literally bring about the end of the world-”

Martin butted in at this point. “We didn’t know that part!”

“The specifics, no, but the general shape of it all...” Melanie let out a sigh before continuing. “Blinding myself... wasn’t exactly ideal, but it was sure as hell better than the alternative.”

“Well, that much I get. If the others didn’t take my eyes out, I guess I’d be either--either still possessed or just plain dead, I suppose. So yeah, I’ll take this over the alternative any day.”

Melanie drummed her fingers on the table for a long moment. “...can we start over? I never really... introduced myself properly, did I?”

“Sure.” Elias let out a shaky laugh. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

“My name’s Melanie King. Was a professional ghost hunter-” God, Elias could hear his father’s voice in his head saying that that didn’t count as a real profession, but like hell was he going to give a voice to his father’s uppity opinions. “-then got roped into being an archival assistant for the Magnus Institute. Worked there for a few months, realized it was literally evil, got out the only way I could a few weeks before the world ended. Been living with Georgie ever since.”

Elias still didn’t know who Georgie was besides “the person that Melanie was living with” (and a suspicion, based on Jon’s reaction to her absence, that there was some history between the two of them), but, well, the puzzle pieces were starting to come together a bit more, even if more and more of them kept getting chucked at his head erratically as the hours went by.

“Got it. Well, it’s nice to meet you, Melanie King.”

“Same to you, Elias... Bouchard... sorry, that just sounds really weird, since you- well, not you--but ‘Elias Bouchard’ was my jerk boss-”

“It’s fine, I get it.” He didn’t get it, really, didn’t fully get a lot of this still, and calling it all fine was arguable as well, but a few white lies were worth it to preserve the fragile peace still being formed, Elias figured.

“You know what’s funny?”

“What?”

“I tried to kill you a couple times. Well, not you-you of course, but...”

Elias felt the tips of his mouth curling ever so slightly upwards. “Honestly? Can’t say that I blame you.”

#tma #tma fic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fic #the magnus archives fanfic #elias bouchard #melanie king #personal #my writing

[hollowcrovvn]

The Ostensive Fumblings of Being Human (part 7)

Pairing: Connor x female!reader

Rating: T

Summary: January 2039. The aftermath of the revolution continues to shake the city of Detroit. Androids are living in government provided communities while efforts are being made to integrate them into society. You are a grad-student volunteering with the Detroit Crisis Response Unit (DCRU), working to help with relief efforts. Set within the backdrop of the slowing growing Android Rights Movement, Connor, newly deviant, is trying to understand what it means to be alive while many others like him seek equality and justice.

Chapter Summary: You deal with the fallout of your actions the previous evening and get brought up to speed on some past events.

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (ao3)

Tagged: @shaydeevee33 @easy-and-steady @goldie516 @house-arya @untilwearestarsinthesky @rainbowsithlord 

Leaving the DPD had felt like a scene out of The Green Mile . Dead man walking. Either you got disapproving looks or looks of marked concern based on the deep circles that had finally caught up under your eyes and the fact you had blood still on your hair and smeared on your neck. You hadn't been allowed to wash it off because, you found out, what happens when your hostage taker gets shot is your entire bloodied self becomes a piece of evidence. Filed away now in the DPD systems were photos of you, face blurred out looking exhausted and splattered red with gore. A little factoid you had never known about and wished you still didn't.

You resisted the urge to itch the spots of dried blood, knowing that the feeling was just in your head and you didn't particularly want it under your nails. That led to another slew of invasive thoughts that you pressed down as quickly as possible.

From another hall, Gavin gingerly walked out, stiff and with a face patched up with butterfly strips and cotton shoved up his nose. People clapped, a well meaning jeer at his expense, as he waved to the crowds like the Queen of England, tossing his jacket over his shoulder.

"Fuck you all, collectively and individually!" he said and you wished you could bring yourself to shuffle passed him quietly but when you came up along side him you worked up the courage to speak.

"Detective Reed?"

He paused, turning to look at you and said with a nasally voice, "Hey, if it ain't the worst Valentine of my life." but a smile followed the words.

"I'm really--"

Did "sorry" even begin to cover it?

"Don't worry about it." Gavin said before you could make that decision, walking you out to the lobby, "If you hadn't of been there, tin-can probably woulda let me get clipped. My cover was blown way before you showed up. If they had your face, they probably already had mine and I was cruisin' for a beat down or worse."

There was no way they could possibly know that and it became apparent to you he was trying to make you feel better.

"And now I get a nice paid vacation." Gavin said, "And believe it or not, from what I hear, you being there mighta been a break. But you didn't hear it from me."

It was late, later than you were accustomed to but not by much. A clock in the lobby read 3am, but the absence of people was also a great sign of how clearly dark it was. Like you it seemed, the good girls and boys of the DPD did not sleep.

"Look. Even I gotta go get head shrinked now because I got beat on and tin-can killed those two shitheads." Gavin began, "And I've been doing this for years. Trust me. It helps."

Gavin pulled a pack of cigarettes from his jacket, putting one between his lips in preparation for both your exit. He held the door open for you even, but with a level of distance that let you know it was out of character for him to be so polite.

"Again. You didn't hear that from me."

He lit it and took a long drag and exhaled, checking to make sure the cotton balls were still in place. He gave you a once over before offering the bud to you. The quickness in which you made a disgusted face drew a gruff laugh from him.

"Go home, valentine. Get some fuckin' sleep, cause you look like a crazy lady.  Have a meal that ain't caffeine why you're at it."

"Or smoke?" you asked, waving away a cloud.

"Ex-actly." Gavin said, punctuating by taking another long drag. Gavin walked you to the curb, hitting the flashing light by the waiting cabs. The door slid open.

"By all means." he said, gesturing that you should take it. You folded into the auto driving cab and Gavin leaned against the top of the car, "See ya around, ---."

He patted the top of the cab and the door shut, leaving you in warm lowlight darkness.

Your apartment was dark when you got home and cold, or maybe that was just you. You hadn't felt warm in hours and the only thing you wanted was to take a shower. You flicked on a table light, moving across the living room to the bathroom and discarding the DPD hoodie and sweats as you went. They had taken your bra because the blood soaked through, but your underwear you still had.

How considerate. you thought, laughing out a sound that was more like a sob.

You moved so slow, feeling like the hands that turned the faucet's on were far away. The water was hot enough to sting, but you stepped in anyway, gasping at the heat. You watched pink rivers slip from your head down your legs and flow into the white basin, disappearing down the drain. You grabbed a bottle of shampoo and scrubbed hard at your scalp, washing again and again until the foam on your hands was pure white and your hair felt stripped.

The crying came on suddenly when you lingered too long on the smell of smoke, the blast of heat and now the press of a gun on your hip, the smell of stale beer and the sounds of gunfire... the image of Connor, staring at you as if he didn't even know you. You pressed your forehead into the tile, letting water hit your back, skin flushing up hot and red.

"Stop." you mumbled to yourself, trying to force the images out, " Stop it, you idiot."

Quit torturing yourself. But it felt good to finally just relent and let yourself cry as much as you wanted. When you could no longer bare the hot water, you shut it off, wrapped up in a towel and walked dripping into your bedroom. You'd already taken the time in the cab to call off the next week, so you picked a pair of shorts and a tank that looked suitable for absolutely living in for the next few days and, still wet, sulked into your living room to sit down.

Distraction. You needed a distraction.

"TV on." you said, and the screen came to life with the display menu of your library. The menu played quiet music, ethereal and electronic and you found yourself just sitting and listening, letting your mind retreat far away into numbed oblivion. The sound of the door opening then scared you so badly you yelped as you sprung to your feet.

"Whose there?!" you shouted, heart hammering.

Quietly, Connor appeared in the door, shutting it behind him. He stood there at the front, not responding to you and keeping his eyes fixed on the ground. He'd changed, still in a suit and dress pants, but no longer splattered with blood. You could hear the creek of the metal as his hand was frozen, gripping the door before finally letting go with a rattle. You could see from where you were standing that his LED was still bright red.

"Connor." you said, feeling a sudden wave of relief, but it was quickly replaced by exasperated, "Jesus, you could have called or something."

Your breath slowed a bit, your expression morphing into one of confusion. Connor seemed to be taking a moment to compose himself before he spoke, tone controlled and methodical.

"You could have been killed today. Do you understand?"

"I was--"

" No. " Connor interrupted, "You could have been killed today, verify you understand."

"Yeah, I understand." you said, feeling a faint bubbling of your own anger brewing beneath the layers as you crossed your arms.

"Lieutenant Anderson should have charged you with obstruction." he said and you felt a sharp stab of hurt at how easily he did so, "Then you wouldn't ever do something this reckless again."

"I thought we were friends ." you said, curling your fists as if that would hold back your anger at this sudden attack.

"We are." Connor said, meeting your eyes at last, "But we almost weren't anymore. Because of what you did. Because of what they could have done."

Connor moved away from the door, pacing in a small trail. He indulged a nervous tick you noted of worrying his hands, wringing them in circles around each other.

“And the thought of you being gone… of there being no more books, no more visiting, no more talking… no more watching you smile or laugh… the sound of your breath when you fall asleep. All of it just gone? ”

His LED was red, solid and holding like the breath in your lungs as you listened to Connor and heard the pain and saw the conflict flashing across his face.

“I feel— wrong. Like my bio-components are seizing. Like I can’t breathe.” Connor stopped pacing, hands dropping to his sides as he looked at you.

“You were so afraid.” he said, voice evening again, "I could feel it."

You remembered the bar vividly, how Connor maneuvered through all of those men and how he just cut them down so easily. He was methodical, calculated and ruthless in his pursuit of his objective. You had never seen him working before outside the confides of the DPD building. You knew now why RK800’s were top of the line crime fighting units, because he was designed to do just that-- fight. Connor was designed to kill and he had and he most likely would again. It was… hard to feel the same about that as you did a human police officer or a soldier. They were trained yes, their skills honed, but this is what Connor was made for. He had once served no other purpose.

Once . You reminded yourself quietly.

"You seemed like a whole other person. I was shocked, and yes, I was scared, but only because I didn't know what you were going to do! I was just looking to not get kidnapped or shot."

Connor was trying very hard to keep his voice calm and machine like, pausing for a moment to collect himself before he spoke, "It is a reasonable reaction when one shoots a man within inches from you."

"Connor," you said, feeling like your own chest was now seizing, "Could we not relive that right now? You saved me, I know that. I was scared, but because of what was happening! Because of what has happened! And I'm not scared right now, I'm pissed off . Big difference."

It was obvious he wanted to say something, but was struggling to do put the words together. Despite that, his LED had gone from red to yellow, which was a welcome sign. The hardened and resolved look on his face had begun to already soften, nearly faded into nothing but a frown as he finally spoke.

"I apologize...I didn't know where to go. I was outside the DPD and before I would have turned in my weapon and written my report." Connor said at last, words shaking just slightly, “But this anger... I thought it would go when it was over, but it's still here and I can't make it stop. That man was going to hurt you and I had to make him stop."

Connor closed his eyes, "I had to follow my objectives. What else should I have done?"

There was something so deeply painful in the way he spoke, something old and lingering like an open wound. It wasn't all because of you and that was somewhat of a comfort, but at the same time it just made your heart ache for him worse. He seemed to come back from his mind, eyes opened slightly and his shoulders went slack.

"If you'd like me to go, I will do so." he said, "Just tell me what to do."

What he was asking for wasn’t comfort, though he might have mistaken it for such. It was just another form of servitude. He cried out for order, for structure and the thoughtless collar of command. It was easier than confronting the reality of his new life, of the fact that he had thought you were going to die and had weighed your life against another and found it wanting. He had made an entirely emotional choice. A human choice.

“I can't.” You said, "You're not a machine anymore, Connor. You don't have any objectives, just the things you've done and what you're doing."

His LED softened to blue.

"As for what I've done," you started, "I don't really have any explanation. I messed up, I know and I'm sorry because I got that detective hurt and-- most likely no one would have gotten shot tonight if I hadn't done what I did."

You took in a heavy breath, "And that's on me. Trust me, Connor. I understand completely. Okay? And what you're feeling? Everything you just said? You weren't feeling what I was feeling, I think you were just as scared as I was... and you recognized that."

There was a slight change in his expression, the thought occurring to him probably for the first time.

"How often have you been put in a situation where someone you like, where a friend is in danger?" you asked, knowing based on his reaction that it could not have been very many.

"When I revert back to my old programming, my old mindset, I am more efficient." he said after a moment, "If I hadn't I wouldn't have been able to fire a single shot. Not when he had you." Connor said, "I had to block it out. And then when it was over I was still afraid. The hostile was gone, but even now I feel the threat lingering."

"Connor." you said, feeling your eyes sting at the expression of a feeling you were all too familiar with at late, "That's a very human thing."

He looked at you, the polarizing opposite of what you'd seen at the bar. Lost . Face open and eyes alive and searching your own with something akin to confusion. As if he didn't know what to even do with these things anymore. It hurt to witness, and while you didn't know how he'd take it, you closed the distance between you both and the moment he was within reach you fell into him, wrapping your arms around his chest and snaking them up his back. You held, tight as your arms could stand and pressed your cheek over the warm hum of his thirium pump.

"You just care. And it makes me a bit less angry at you for ya know-- barging into my apartment. Which arguably, was pretty human too, if you watch too many movies." you said, a slight teasing edge in your voice, but also it came from just the immense relief that Connor was still Connor.

"I... should have knocked." he said.

"Remember that next time, alright?" you said, "Hopefully, though, there is no next time."

Connor was experiencing now, what you as a human had lots of experience with. Embarrassment. It was kinda funny on an android, the way he fidgeted and seemed to be uncertain exactly how to return the embrace. He settled his arms around you and gave a test squeeze. The moment he did, he seemed to lose his reservations, pulling you closer.

"Connor?" you said quietly, but he was busy burying his face into your neck. Clearly embarrassment was a little short lived in androids too. The ghosting touch sent a shiver up your spine and you had an inexplicable desire to shut your eyes and tilt your head back; a silent invitation. The moment centered back down as quickly as it started and you almost yelped his name in surprise at yourself alone.

" Connor." you said, more insistently and he met your eyes, half lidded.

"As much as I'd like to continue this little vent session," you mumbled, "It's time for bed."

You gently untangled yourself enough to look up at him.

"You gotta be exhausted too." you said, keeping your voice quiet.

"My power systems are nominal, but... yes. Yes, I think I am. I should return to Hank's."

Despite yourself, you quickly said, "Do you want to stay? At least until I fall asleep? "

"I have been placed on restricted duty," Connor said, "I can stay all night if... if you're okay with that. I would understand if you were not."

You sighed with something like relief and contentment mixed into one, resting your cheek into his chest and happy to let him tuck your head beneath his chin. He had gone still again, but after a moment began to soothe circles into your upper back, slow repetitive motions that somehow focused your breathing and chased your thoughts away. This was much better.

"Next time, lead with this." you said, muffled, "And then scold."

"---," he said quietly, "I am sorry. I should have knocked. I should have given you the chance to not have to..." he paused, "..."deal" with my malfunctions on top of your own."

"You're not malfunctioning. You're just upset. And honestly? I'd rather be upset together than have been stuck here by myself."

"Come on." you said, and reluctantly parted, taking his hand and leading him back through the hall. Before you could get settled into bed, Connor moved passed you and began to untuck your already unmade covers further. The bed had already been a mess, your pillows half smooshed down between the wall and the mattress or on the floor. You scooped them up and set them at the head of the bed.

"Lay down." Connor said, gentle yet still commanding. You slipped up onto the bed, watching him with curiosity as he shook out the covers. You laid back against the pillows but kept sat up on your elbows to watch him. He lifted up the sheet with a flick, letting it fall over you in a soft puff. He smoothed the blanket down, making sure it was snug around you. You laughed, a soft giddy sound. The duvet came next, warm and soft. Connor moved to the bedside as he got you situated, turning and setting his eyes on your desk chair. He moved to draw it over, but you stopped him with the soft calling of his name.

You freed your arms from the warmth of the covers to open them to him. He paused, eyes taking in every inch of you, soft and unyielding and beckoning him-- come here. Come to bed. He'd never had one of his own before...but adapting to unpredictability was one of his features. He could have questioned it, asked if this was something "friends" did, but he just didn't quite feel like risking the chance of actually changing your mind. He slipped off his tie, unbuttoning the white shirt to show a equally white under-armor t-shirt. He unbuckled his belt and snaked it out of the loops, but let his trousers on. Sitting down on the corner of the bed he took his shoes off and then let you help him under the cover. You tucked into Connor's side and laid your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arm around his middle.

Once, you would have been too shy to do so, but after everything you felt quite entitled. Connor was preoccupied, tracing your shoulder and your arm with the tips of his fingers and the back of his knuckles. He seemed deep in thought, his LED swirling as slowly and deliberately as his fingertips on your skin.

"Are you okay?" you said, voice thick with exhaustion, but still not quite able to shut your thoughts off.

"Processing." Connor said, chest rising up steeply than falling with a sigh. It was a good sound, "And I should be asking you."

"Today was a lot ..." you said, feeling your thoughts inevitably drift back to all the events of the past few weeks and closing your eyes tight, as if it would block them back, "I'm not actually sure if I am."

"Hey--" Connor said, “I am going to schedule you an appointment with victim services. They offer both one on one and group sessions this week.”

“Make it a group. I— am not really good at having all attention just on me.”

Connor seemed just relieved you agreed, having clearly expected more of an argument than that. No, at this point you knew if you didn’t talk about it you’d just keep pressing it down until it exploded. You made a face. Bad metaphor.

“I just get caught in a loop. I think about that day and it’s like I can feel everything and hear and even smell so clearly. It’s just so… much. I just cry. I can’t even stop it, it just has to get out.”

You rubbed your cheek into the soft, smooth material of Connor’s shirt, “I have to distract myself all the time or else it’s just there. Waiting.”

“ Have you heard of the term “grounding”?” Connor asked, “You focus on your surroundings, on what you feel and hear right now in this moment. It helps your senses redirect from the memory.”

“Do you do that?”

“It is a very effective process in certain cases. I also make use of my coin to help “re-calibrate”. But since becoming deviant sometimes that isn’t enough."

Connor's arm left your shoulder for a moment to reach down and pull the blankets back up around you. You splayed your fingers out over his chest, closing them and feeling the faint ridge where the circle of his thirium pump was. Slowly, you slid your hand down further, finding the hem of his shirt. You turned your eyes up to him,

"Is this okay?"

You watched his Adam apple move as he swallowed, eyes half closed.

"Yes."

This was not what Connor had probably had in mind when he recommended using your senses in the present to distract yourself. It was primarily curiosity though that guided your hand under his shirt, feeling the detailed ridges of muscle and tiny imperfections crafted into his epidermis to make him appear more human. They had even carved the pattern of ribs into his chest, not quite the same, but enough of a recreation to trick the mind.

You traced back down, finding that faint circle again at the center of Connor's chest and instinctively he caught your hand beneath his shirt, firm but gentle.

"Sorry." he mumbled, "Reflex. On a case last year a deviant got a bit too close."

You ran the tip of your middle finger over the ridge and felt him push back into the mattress.

"That is distracting." Connor said, not entirely disapproving.

"Isn't that the idea?" you said.

"Your vitals are up , which is not indicative of rest."

You humphed a sigh, but let your hand just rest over the spot, noting now the faint pulse against your palm. If you held your breath, you could hear it, slightly mechanical, but still a steady beating. His breathing was just as even and methodical. Connor did not need to breathe, the pulmonary reflex just there again to contribute to his appearing human, but you tried to match it, breathing in when he did and then out.

"That's better." Connor said, relaxing his grip on your hand to rest it over where yours cupped his heart. Because that was what it was at the end of the day, wasn't it? A biological component that pumped thirium, blood , through him. The thing that kept him alive as certainly as the muscle within your own chest kept you alive.

"This is... different . You and me." you concluded, the word holding an infinite number of meanings and emotions that had accumulated in the time you had known Connor. What was "this"? The connection you had felt back that day at the coffee shop? Or the thing that built up after? Or was it just everything? You were finding it hard to keep your eyes open the more you matched your breath to Connor's and the more your mind pondered instead on more pleasant subjects.

You barely heard Connor whisper back, " I know ."

Morning hit you without mercy as it came to collect it's due from all the sleepless nights before. There wasn't anywhere to go, or anything to do and the idea of not worrying or running yourself ragged was going to take some getting used to. You'd been out running everything, standing still felt like the equivalent of being told to stand still while a tidal wave threatened to rush the beach.

Speaking of beaches , you thought, curling up into a more snug burrito of blankets. Summer never came soon enough in Michigan and never stayed long. And now speaking of staying, you were aware of a distinct absence of Connor in your bed, which was a clear ploy to tempt you into the kitchen where you could smell food cooking.

You rolled up, excavating yourself from the sheets and nearly tripping when it caught around your ankle. You headed, gracelessly into the living room and adjoining kitchen to find not only Connor, utilizing your range to fry what looked to be eggs and bacon, but Josh. Sitting on one of the bar stools you used at the kitchen counter in place of owning a table.

His eyes were wide with surprise, "Damn, you really are good. 2.45 minutes on the dot."

"I told you she would be awake shortly." Connor said.

But you didn't pay attention to most of there back and forth as Josh stood and met you half way with a hug.

"Some new rep came by the Cyberlife plant and said you'd been in some kinda accident. That you were going to be gone indefinitely." Josh said, reclaiming his perch as you joined him at the stool next to him.

"Hold that thought-- Connor."

The android looked up at you, smiling faintly.

"Where did you get that?" you said, pointing to the paper bag marked "bio degradable" that seemed to once contain groceries.

"I used the app on your phone to order you something besides ground coffee for breakfast."

"And now you're-- cooking it."

"I inferred that based on last night, that cooking you breakfast would no longer constitute "too much"."

Josh made a sound, something between a laugh and a cough that you knew was surely meant to conceal the laugh.

"Looks like my concerns were unfounded." he said, "You're in good hands."

You moaned, pressing your hand over your face and dragging it down, "It's not what it sounds like."

Connor just smirked, turning his attention back to his task and flipping the two eggs over, yolk down with a spatula that you didn't even remember owning.

"Are deviants often purposefully obtuse?" you asked, more just to have Connor hear it than to have Josh answer.

"Markus definitely has his moments too." Josh said wryly, "Which reminds me. Markus wanted to know when you think you'll next grace Jericho with your presence. His words. You haven't been to the house since December."

It took you a moment to realize that Josh wasn't asking you, but Connor this. His expression gave nothing away, flipping the eggs and bacon onto a plate and handing it over to you. You took it, but continued to look between the two men with interest.

"You four do fine without me." Connor said, avoiding your very questioning looks, "We can discuss it later though."

Josh noted now your expression, giving Connor a pointed look.

" They have asked for you."

"I don't know why they would." Connor countered, "Again. We can discuss it later ."

"Or right now." you interjected, "What the hell are you guys talking about?"

Josh sighed, looking at Connor with disappointment and-- sympathy? He turned his attention to you, smiling fondly as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear and gave you another sideways hug. You leaned into it, not forgetting you were waiting for an answer. You thought you saw Connor's LED flicker in the corner of your eye.

"I'll head out. Let you two talk. ---, get some rest. You deserve it and know that Simon sends his thanks. I can't wait for you to come by and see everything your work did."

"I didn't do that much." you said with a scoff.

" Yes , you did. Just let North know if you decide to come by. She's taken over security while Simon is recuperating. I hope to see Connor there too."

Connor did not confirm or deny the invite, paying Josh little attention now. And with that Josh left. You poked at the yolks of your eggs with the prongs of your fork, watching the yellow liquid pop free and ooze slowly over the cooked whites.

"Well... I guess when they said "acquainted" they were lying." you said, "Connor, you are part of Jericho's leadership?!"

"No-- yes. It's complicated."

He was indulging that tick of his, immediately moving to clean up the dishes.

"Were you part of the revolution?" you said, barely able to hide the admiration in your voice. It did nothing to encourage Connor though, in fact the tone seemed to make him frown more if anything.

"Only that night." he said, "Before I was assigned to investigate and hunt down deviants. That was my mission."

"And you deviated." you finished for him.

"Yes."

The silence that followed made it clear Connor did not intend to elaborate.

"How? Why? Connor that's a huge deal, how has it never come up before?!"

"You should eat." Connor said, not quite successfully dissuading you. Something in him was conflicted, like always when topics got too heavy. He wanted to talk, but also you got the impression, like you, he didn't know how to start.

"Okay, I'll eat and you just start at the beginning."

"---," he said your name, an edge to his voice, "I am concerned because of the high probability it will change your opinion of me."

"Does that probability score show if my new opinion will be good or bad?" you asked, cutting into the egg.

Connor sighed, "No. It does not."

"Sounds very useful!" you said with a grin, taking a bite of egg and chasing it with a slice of bacon, "This is great by the way, thank you. Now spill it."

Connor smiled despite himself, coming around to take the seat Josh had occupied. He clasped his hands in front of him, keeping himself still.Grounded , your mind offered.

"I should start at the very beginning then. It may be long." Connor said, eyes fixed on some point beyond you as if he was recalling the way a human would. The spin of his LED said otherwise.

"August 15th, 2038. I was called to the residence of Caroline and John Phillips. Their android had deviated and taken their daughter hostage..." he paused, thoughtfully, "There was a salt water tank in the foyer and a fish had fallen out."

#detroid become human #detroit become human fanfiction #detroit become human fanfic #dbh connor x reader #dbh connor x f!reader #dbh connor #fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #the ostensive fumblings of being human

[delicatelyherdreams]

Deserving

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a bad blind date, you seek solace in your best friend and longtime crush Bucky.

Warnings: none

Word Count: 3094

The electronic sounds of music echoed against the cold tiles of the bathroom where you had gone to stay out of the crowds. The club had been too loud, too crowded, and all too lonely for you to stay out there.

Not that the bathroom was much better; not with its gratified walls and lipstick stained mirrors that seemed to rattle and shake with every beat of the bass outside. 

God, why did you think that this was a good idea in the first place? Why did you let your friend set you up on a blind date? That was just a stupid move on your part.

You hung your head over the sink as you exhaled sharply. You just wanted to go home and forget about this night.

Your date, some guy named Jim that your friend Becky just knew you’d love, had taken you out to a dance club on a group date with some of his friends and their girlfriends. You thought you were going to have a good time dancing with him...

Until he started to gravitate away from you in favor of the bar and his buddies. Not to mention that ginger who’d been making goo-goo-eyes at him since the moment she saw him. In doing so, he had, undoubtedly ditched you on your date.

Turning on the tap, you held your hand under the water until you had deemed it cold enough. You cupped your hands under the water, letting it pool in your palms before you lifted it up and doused your face. The cold was a welcomed change in the warm environment and you took a deep breath.

You looked up into the mirror and examined your appearance.

Your make up was smudged and the up-do you had so carefully put your hair in not even two hours ago was already starting to fall out. Your dress was askew and your necklace was also twisted with the clasp resting on your collarbone. You had to admit that you looked like a mess.

You sighed and pushed up off the counter to grab your phone from your purse. You were done with the failed date and, figuring it was unreasonable to ask Jim to take you home since he was having such a good time, you decided to call an Uber.

Tapping on the app, the bathroom door opened up and three women came in giggling and laughing and talking in hushed whispers. However, they halted when they saw you. 

The girl at the head of the pack looked you over once over before her smile turned sympathetic and pitying. “Aw, honey,” she cooed softly. “Bad date?”

You pursed your lips before nodding. It wouldn’t be any use to lie to them, even if they were strangers.

The one next to her joined in the sympathetic smiling. “Do you want to hang with us? We don’t mind.”

You bit your lip in a small smile. “Thank you, but no.” You held up your phone. “I’m tired, I’ve already called an Uber.” You smiled apologetically. “Thank you for the offer though. I really appreciate it.” Which was true. You did, but right then you just wanted to go home.

You walked passed the girls and left the bathroom back into the club. You wanted to at least tell Jim that you were leaving, not that you thought he’d care anyways.

You pushed your way through the sweaty mass of people as they jumped and pulsed around you. You squirmed in your boots, both figuratively and literally. It was so uncomfortable being in this crowded area with bodies hitting you as they danced. You couldn’t move an inch without coming into contact with a person and, in a way, it was suffocating.

You found Jim by the bar, a beer in hand, his buddies all around him, and the ginger attached at his hip.

You almost wanted to vomit at the sight of her all over him; not because you actually liked him like that, but because watching her press her front up against him in such a way that was practically grinding was absolutely repulsing.

But you couldn’t help the small stab of pain that ran through your heart. Even if you didn’t care for Jim in that way, it still hurt to know that he didn’t care about you enough to stay loyal for a single evening.

You steeled your nerves. You could do this, whatever this was. You were an Avenger, one of Earth’s mightiest heroes, you could tell your asshole date that you were leaving.

You took a deep breath before weaving your way into the circle of people, right next to Jim. You cleared your throat in order to get his attention. “Hey, Jim?”

He didn’t even look at you as he responded with, “Hmm?”

“I-I’m gonna go. I’m tired.” You half hoped he would say something to stop you, to ask you to stay, but there was no such luck.

“Mhmm... See you later, Noreen.”

You almost couldn’t believe him. He didn’t even remember your goddamn name. Well that obviously showed you enough about his character. 

You rolled your eyes as you turned away. “More like ‘See you never...’” you muttered as you began to walk towards the exit. About halfway to the doors your phone lit up signalling the arrival of your ride in a blue Honda Pilot. Sure enough, the car was parked on the side of the road right outside the club. You took a deep breath as you opened up the door and climbed into the back. 

“Where to, Miss?” asked the driver, an older man with a heavy Brooklyn accent, as he turned around to look at you.

You hesitated. You considered having him take you to your apartment in Manhattan that you had gotten whenever you had a date or wanted to get out of the Avengers’ compound for a bit, but then you thought better of it. All you really wanted was to go home to your friends. And so, you gave him the address to the compound in upstate New York.

He frowned. “That’s over an hour away, Miss. That’ll be an extra fee.” 

You groaned. “We can pay it. Just please take me there.”

He shrugged. “Well, okay. I’m not sure what you’re hoping to find up there. There’s hardly anything around.”

“Mhmm,” you responded absently. “Whatever.” You kicked off your heels onto the ground and fastened your seat belt and settled in for the ride. 

He was a nice driver. He tried to make conversation with you, but when he realized you weren’t really in a talking mood, he resolved to just turning up the radio which you appreciated. Occasionally he would make a comment about how nice the night was or how he hoped you were having a good ride, but he never expected you to respond. You’d be sure to give him a handsome tip once you got to the compound.

A little more than an hour later, he was pulling up to the compound’s driveway, his headlights the only apparent light for miles.

“Take this right,” you directed stoically. If you hadn’t chances were he was going to miss it. Most people did, but that was the idea.

He followed your directions and pulled in. But he was halted by the large electric gate that blocked the road. “What the...?”

But you were already unbuckling your belt. “FRIDAY won’t let you any further,” you said nonchalantly. You began to gather your things as you pulled out your wallet. Digging around in there, you pulled out two one-hundred dollar bills and offered them out to him. “Thanks for the ride. This should cover it and then some.”

He took the bills warily. “Who’s FRIDAY? That sounds like an Avengers thing. Y’know, one of Stark’s bots.”

You nodded. “Yeah... Avengers.” You shook your head dismissively. “Anyways, have a good night.” Without waiting for him to respond, you climbed out of the car and started walking towards the gate. You disregarded your shoes entirely, letting the hard gravel bite into your feet as you walked. 

The gate, upon your approach, opened just enough to let you in, and FRIDAY’s voice rang out over the speakers. “Welcome back, Miss (l/n). Shall I prepare a cup of tea for you for when you reach the compound.”

“That would be lovely, Fri,��� you answered with a small smile. 

The walk up to the compound was long, or at least it felt long. It couldn’t have taken you more than five minutes at most, but by the time you had reached the compound, you were spent. 

As the large white building came into view, you breathed a sigh of relief. You were home and it was comforting, especially after the night you had had.

But as the building came into focus, you frowned. The lights on the second floor, right where the combined lounge and bar laid, were on and a singular shadow was moving about.

Your heart fluttered at the silhouette of a familiar head with long hair settled in the window. It could only be one person: the infamous Bucky Barnes, your closest friend and secret crush.

Your pace sped up a bit as your subconscious urged you forward to get to him quickly. 

You didn’t hesitate to enter the compound and board the elevator to reach the second floor.

“Your tea is waiting for you in the lounge,” FRIDAY announced as you entered the elevator.

You hid your smirk. She always knew somehow, that once you knew where Bucky was, you would want to go straight there. And she was right. “Thank you, FRIDAY,” you chirped as the elevator doors slid open. You discarded your shoes to the side and began to tread into the halls of the compound, taking the twists and turns until you came up to the lounge. You tried to not appear so eager as you practically ran to the room, the need to see Bucky becoming overpowering as each second passed. Finally, you arrived.

The lounge was cool and quiet, the only light coming from the overhead modernized chandeliers that cast a dim glow over the room. On the bar, the tea maker sat with a steaming mug in its grasp. Bucky sat on a bar stool near it, nursing a small glass filled with a clear liquid.

His head perked up slightly as your footsteps began to echo in the room, a small chuckle escaping from the back of his throat. “When FRIDAY started brewing a cup of your special tea, I should’ve known it was you who she was getting it ready for you.” At that moment he looked up at you and your breath hitched.

He was handsome as ever in his dark grey checkered pajama pants and white tank top that left his gleaming metal arm exposed. The golden veins in the vibranium shone in the light from the overhead lights. His long hair was pulled back into a loose bun on the back of his head and his blue eyes, though rimmed with dark circles, held life as they looked at you.

You chuckled as you strode deeper into the room towards him. Joining him at the bar, you took your steaming mug and stole a sip. “Yeah. She knows better than to let anyone else but me have it.” You smiled softly. “What are you still doing up, Buck?”

He swirled his drink around before taking a sip. “Couldn’t sleep. The nightmares got to be a bit much and you weren’t in your room for me to talk to so I figured that, instead of tossing and turning, I’d just stay up. Have a drink or two.” He shrugged. 

You winced. For the longest time, you and Bucky had come to the agreement that, if the nightmares got to be unbearable, you’d be his go to to wake up to talk with. You were totally okay with it. You could always catch up on sleep during pointless meetings and it was nice to know that you could help him. The fact that you were absent in his time of need made your heart clench.

Bucky took another drink. “What are you doing up and,” he did a once over on your body before cracking a small smile, “in a cocktail dress?”

You felt your face heat up as you laughed nervously. “I had a date,” you admitted averting your gaze.

His eyes hardened slightly at the claim, his lips turning down. “A date?”

You nodded nonchalantly. “Becky from the coffee shop thought it’d be a good idea to set me up on a blind date with a friend of hers. She was wrong.” You took a drink of your tea, the warm liquid cascading down your throat.

“Oh?” he asked, prompting you to continue.

You bit your lip as small darts of pain shot through your heart. What caused them, you weren’t sure. Maybe it was the pain of being rejected in such a blatant way or the pain of being ignored. You knew that the whole date shouldn’t have bothered you the way it did, but at the same time, you had no control over your emotions. “It’s nothing,” you said brushing it off.

“(y/n)...” He had set his drink down and turned to face you now. His eyes were filled with concern. “What happened?”

Your gaze turned downwards, dejected. “He took me out to dance but he hardly talked to me all night and practically ditched me for his friends and another woman. Hell, he didn’t even remember my name.” You breathed a bitter laugh and scrunched your nose. “My first date in forever and the guy is trash.”

Bucky looked like he honestly wanted to fight the guy—you could see it in his eyes—but he seemed to be reeling in the anger for your sake. Instead, his mouth opened and he said, “Then that guy doesn’t deserve to have a woman like you.” He shook his head. “He doesn’t deserve someone as understanding and kind like you. He doesn’t deserve someone who will support him unconditionally. He doesn’t deserve someone who will... who will actually stay up with him when he needs her. He doesn’t deserve a woman who doubles as a best friend and I...” he trailed off, his voice growing small.

You, however, were hanging onto his every word as he basically described your relationship with him. Someone who will stay up with him when he needs her: you and Bucky. A woman who doubles as a best friend: you were a best friend for Bucky. You couldn’t stop the smile from rising to your face.

Bucky shook his head. “No. He doesn’t deserve you. But enough about him and what he deserves. You deserve so much more. You deserve someone who will be there for you just as much as you are for them. But right now, above all, you deserve a better date.” He finished off his drink and stood. “Hey, FRIDAY? Can you play some dance music?” He was answered by a soft melody playing on the overhead speakers and he stood up. He offered you his hand.

You laughed. “Bucky! What are you doing?” You were skeptical, but nonetheless you took his hand and joined him in standing.

“Making up for your bad date. Come on, I’ll show you how real men dance.” He led you away from the bar to the center of the lounge without waiting for your answer.

You followed after him with little resistance, your feet carrying you to him. “Bucky, I—”

He shook his head to silence you. “Please. I think we both need to dance tonight.” His eyes sparked with longing as he gazed down at your face. “Just let me lead.” He settled his metal hand on your waist, the cool material chilling your skin through the fabric of your dress, and took your hand in his flesh one. 

You, in turn, gently squeezed his hand and rested your other hand on his shoulder, right above the spot where metal met the man.

He shuddered under your touch, the sensation making you jump. “Hey, don’t pull away,” he said. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

You nodded and set your hand back down on his shoulder as he began to guide you in dancing in small circles.

His feet glided across the wooden floors of the lounge, the footsteps echoing gently off the walls. He swept you off with him, taking you all around; slow enough that you could keep up but quick enough to keep you entertained. He stayed silent and, in a way, you were grateful for that.

It gave you time to think and reflect.

You knew why you had agreed to go out with Jim: you were lonely and tired of being alone. Pining after your best friend had proved to be fruitless and, in an attempt to fill the hole it left, you decided that going out with him wouldn’t be the worst thing to try. But you knew how that turned out and you ended up here, in the arms of the man you wished was yours.

Bucky tilted his head as he examined your expression. “What is it?”

You looked up at him. “You were talking about what we deserved earlier. What do I deserve?”

“You deserve the world, (y/n). You deserve someone who will give you the world. You deserve—”

“You?” you interrupted, your voice uncertain and timid.

He stopped. His eyes locked on yours, searching for your meaning. 

You feared you had overstepped. Despite you having feelings for Bucky, you weren’t sure that he felt the same way. 

Slowly, a soft smile broke across his face. “Yes, if you’d have me. I just don’t think I deserve you.”

“Oh, Bucky, of course you do. You deserve everything.” You smiled up at him. “And I’d be happy to have you. Just say the word.”

He smiled softly. “You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone better.”

You had to stop yourself from laughing. “No. No I don’t.” You took a step in closer to him and peered up at him. “I deserve you, Buck,” you whispered as you pushed up on your tiptoes and pressed a tender kiss to his lips.

He kissed you back without hesitation, his hand moving from your waist to the back of your neck as he deepened it.

You couldn’t help but smile.

This was right.

And you more than deserved each other.

Bucky Barnes Taglist: @cauraphernelia

Permanent Taglist: @dont-speak-just-read @becauseismellgood @impalaimages @breezy1415 @lou-la-lou @aestheticapricity @a-book-pressed-rose @watchoutforfrostbite @dragonborn791924 

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #james barnes #james Buchanan barnes #winter soldier #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #deserving #what you deserve #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky barnes ones shot #bucky oneshot #bucky one shot #bucky story #bucky barnes story #x reader #delicatelyherdreams #bucky barnes

[queen-writing-sideblog]

Coffee and Cigarettes

Chapter One

This is the little surprise I was talking about, first chapter of my first fic!! Thank you to all of you so, so, so much for 100 followers (I know I’m a bit late, but it took me a minute to finish, so.. shhhh), but thank you all so, so much for sticking along for all of this. I know I haven’t been updating as much recently, but now that this is finished, I’ll be a lot better about it, I promise, I hope you enjoy!!!!!

Staff dating wasn’t against the rules. It was… slightly frowned upon by some of the board members, but it wasn’t against the rules. That hadn’t been an issue for Roger for the three years he had been working there, so he hadn’t thought anything was going to change when the school hired a replacement for the teacher that had taught engineering and wood shop.

Boy had he been wrong.

They wouldn’t normally cross paths. While their classrooms were in similar parts of the building, teachers didn’t tend to wander around the school because, obviously, they were working. That wasn’t how they ended up meeting, though.

No, the very first time Roger met Mr. Deacon was in the break room when he turned around too fast and accidentally hit him with a muffin and almost spilled coffee on him.

What a fantastic, completely Rogeresque way to meet someone.

To his defense, it was before seven o’clock in the morning, nearly an hour before school was due to start, and he’d been up late the night before, grading the last minute summer work that had been submitted to him minutes before the deadline.

Stupid slackers.

Then again, that had been him when he was in high school, so he didn’t really have much room to talk.

And regardless of how little sleep he’d gotten, there he was, bright an early. For all the work and extra hours teachers put in, they didn’t get paid nearly enough, so he in the mornings, his breakfast off of the coffee and assorted, slightly stale breakfast items that resided there.

His slightly stale breakfast item that was now a shower of crumbs coating the shirt of a complete stranger.

“Oh! Oh, I am so sorry, mate, really, I-”

“Oh, no, no, you’re alright. It’s early. Looks like you haven’t had a sip of coffee yet either, so I’ll let it slide this time around.”

As soon as the air around them lightened up a bit and he let himself relax, it struck him how… easy on the eyes this stranger was.

“Ah, right, right, I’ll take my free pass and be more careful next time. I’m Roger Taylor, by the way. I teach biology. Room 137.”

“Oh, alright, hello, Mr. Taylor. I’m John Deacon, I teach engineering and woodshop and… I’m in room…” he dug a piece of paper out of his pocket, “room number 146.”

“Ah, so you’re the new guy that’s replacing old Bernes.”

“Would appear so.”

“Well, I already like you better. He was a creep.”

“Was he, now? Well, I might be a bit biased in saying this, but I don’t believe I’m much of a creep, so I do hope that helps.” He offered a gap toothed smile and Roger felt something unfamiliar bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. 

“Well, you’re already much, much, much better than he is.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

They stood there for a moment in silence, sipping their coffee before one of them spoke again.

“So. Where’d you come from. Somewhere… North, I’m thinking?”

“Wow, look at you. Yeah. Up in the midlands, Oadby, actually.”

“Really? And how’s that? Living there, I mean.”

“Dull. Very dull. Very boring. Not a lot of stuff going on up there. I wouldn’t recommend visiting. There isn’t much to do, the people are too nice to not be hiding anything, and most of the hotels have rats.”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m going on holiday, ‘cuz that’s something teachers do so often.”

The comment earned him a little laugh and another one of those smiles, and something so simple shouldn’t have made him as happy as it was.

He was man enough to admit that he pretty things, attractive people. He was also man enough to admit that John happened to fall under this column. Which meant he was able to convince himself it was the mild adrenaline rush that came from making an attractive person laugh.

Like when he picked up women -or men, he wasn’t really picky- at bars and made them smile and laugh and blush.

Except for the fact that this was his new coworker, they were in a teacher’s lounge in a high school, and he didn’t have the intention of going home with him. Because that would be entirely unprofessional and he didn’t want to do it either.

Alright, maybe if the setting was different, he might. But that meant alcohol would be involved, as well as a location that was much more likely to foster raw, sexual attraction.

Seven in the morning in a break room in a high school packed with other teachers, crappy coffee, and assorted bread products was neither the time nor the place.

And it seemed that it wasn’t going to be much of an issue, just a passing thought.

Which it was.

For now at least.

--

Over the course of the following weeks, Roger found himself and John becoming more and more friendly. He’d begun to worm his way into his little friend group, clicking almost instantly with Freddie, and bonding over some science geek stuff with Brian. He fit in like the fourth piece to their puzzle.

It was nice, meeting someone who he worked with that was good for more than discussion on the woes of being a teacher.

Sure, he’d had Brian and Freddie before, but it was nice to have a third friend, and to no longer be the ‘baby’ of the group.

(Normally whenever it was brought up, he was quickly mention the fact that he was twenty-six years old now, but it was quickly dismissed in favor of making fun of him.)

And John, he had come to find, was actually a rather interesting person. He loved music, but he didn’t think he could sing, so he stuck to the instruments. Specifically the stringed sort. He apparently had a bass, an electric, an acoustic, and a rhythm guitar at home, as well as a keyboard. That he offered lessons to bring in some extra money and because it was something he enjoyed doing. That music was a passion of his, and he’d been into it since he was younger, fell in love with the records his father would bring home every once in a blue moon and found that that aspect of his story was similar to Roger’s.

He’d learned that he’d been a tinkerer ever since he could hold a screw driver. Making magic out of scraps by age ten, which could have been a profession on it’s own, but he’d fallen in love with teaching and had gotten his masters in that after getting his bachelor of science in electronics. That he was still a tinkerer and he would buy bits and pieces of this and that when his budget allowed to make little things and that he had never once called a repairman because he’d always been able to fix the issue himself. How he would fix neighbors broken down appliances for free just because he wanted to. He’d even offered to come look at Roger’s busted air conditioning unit sometime.

That he had a sister named Julie, that she was seventeen and was preparing for her A levels, that she was very bright and that he was a very proud big brother. That he was a mama’s boy, spoke to her every other day on the phone. That when he was growing up, he’d taken over the typical ‘man of the house’ role since his father passed when he was young, that he didn’t get all sad and weepy when talking about his dad, just got a nostalgic, fond look in his eyes. That he’d just gotten a puppy named Eleanor and a ferret named Robert. An odd combination, Roger thought, but who was he to judge when all he had were a few fish.

Needless to say, he’d learned a lot about him in the short span of time they’d known each other in and he found him to be rather intriguing.

They’d slowly become the sort of teachers that bothered each other during prep periods. John would come bug him when he was doing notes and Roger would throw popcorn at him when he was trying to teach. It was nice, he thought.

--

Roger had finally given in to John’s offers and invited him over to have a look at the air conditioner. It was much cheaper than calling an electrician and John had insisted he didn’t mind, so he’d decided it wasn’t such a bad idea. And he wasn’t sure how much longer he could deal with keeping all his windows open and using a fan in its place. He was becoming a baked potato in his own home.

When John had gotten there, they’d exchanged pleasantries before Roger had led him to the source of irritation and he’d gone straight to work.

The conversation kept up while John.. well, Roger wasn’t quite sure what it was he was doing, actually, but.. That was besides the point. He was fixing the stupid AC unit for him and now Roger wouldn’t die of heatstroke or something stupid like that. 

He’d take a break every once in a while to have a drink and wipe the sweat off his forehead before diving back into his work. It was a nice almost silence they lapsed into, with an occasional joke, or comment, or John asking Roger to grab him a drink if he wouldn’t mind. It was certainly much better than the awkward work around that would be involved with a repairman and not nearly as expensive either.

It took a little while, but eventually Roger heard the familiar whir of the air conditioning unit kicking on.

“You’re a miracle worker, Deaks!”

“Ah, nah… just a fan that fell loose and some mixed up wires, is all. Nothing, really.”

“I could kiss you.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Think I’ll pass.”

“How can I repay you?”

“Oh, no, you don’t have to do that.”

“Well.. I can at least buy you dinner.”

“Well…”

“I’ll get takeaway and you and I can watch a movie.”

“Yeah. alright. Fine.”

“What catches your fancy tonight, Sir Deacon?”

“Sir?” He cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Just go with it.”

“Alright, well.. How does Chinese sound?”

“His highness shall be dining on the finest Asian cuisine tonight.”

“The finest, huh?”

“Or the cheapest.”

“Perfect.”

Roger ended up calling in to order the takeout and decided to let John find something for them to watch. He was mildly surprised when he plopped down on the couch and the TV was playing the opening credits to Peter Pan.

“A Disney man, huh?”

“Shut up. They’re good movies, believe it or not.”

“Okay, okay, okay, I won’t make fun of you. It just… you don’t seem the type.”

“Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.”

“Touché.”

“I am not often what meets the eye.”

“Is that so?”

“It is so.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, then.” 

“Good.”

--

John ended up staying much later than Roger had thought he would. By the time he checked the clock, it was already half past ten. He opted not to say anything about it, though, because he did rather like John’s company. He had a good sense of humor and he liked to point out the flaws of and make fun of poorly made movies which Roger had discovered when they’d come across some old movie that seemed like it had a budget of forty dollars.

By now, though, they’d lulled into a comfortable silence like it had been before, only interjected by an occasional joke or comment.

By the time they got to the end of that movie, it was even later. Obviously. Because that’s how the flow of time worked. But it was late enough that Roger was tired, and by the looks of it, so was his company.

“I should get going.” He stretched his arms above his head. “Work tomorrow and all.”

“Stay.”

“Are you sure that’s-”

“I mean, here. Like… on the couch. It’s late, you’re tired, you shouldn’t be driving. We can carpool tomorrow.”

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

“You can borrow something of mine.”

“I don’t have a toothbrush or anything. I don’t think I’ll be borrowing that from you.”

“I’ve got an extra in the cupboard.”

John gave him a skeptical look and for a minute Roger was worried he was going to say no.

“Yeah, alright, fine.”

“Great. I’ll grab you a pillow, the blankets are next to the couch.” He gestured in the general direction they were in before going off to get a pillow from his bed.

John was doing something on his phone when he got back, presumably texting his neighbor, asking her to keep the dog overnight, something he’d heard him mumbling to himself about when he was walking away. 

“Oi. Watch that,” He grumbled, setting the pillow down at the edge of the bed.

“I remind you that you are a guest here and I can kick you out at any moment.”

“Fine.” He plopped down on the couch, tugging the blanket over himself and folding up his knees to fit onto the couch.

“Goodnight, Mr. Deacon.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Taylor.”

--

When Roger got up at three in the morning to get a glass of water, he nearly jumped out of his skin at the body draped across his couch before remembering it was just John. As he was pouring his glass of water, he took note that when John wasn’t all curled into a ball, he was much too tall for the couch. Part of his legs hung over the edge of the couch, all the way up to his knees, and an arm was dangling over the side of the couch and he’d miraculously knocked the blanket off and into the middle of the room.

Without much thought, he bent down to scoop the blanket up and draped it over John, who made a soft, sleepy noise in response.

The… domestic nature of it all made something warm and fuzzy climb up his rib cage and wrap around his heart which startled him more than the thought of a stranger in his flat. He pushed them down quickly, going back to bed and leaving the untouched glass of water on the coffee table where he’d set it down earlier.

--

The next morning, Roger learned that you got places much faster when you used the carpool lane, and that John fancied cars nearly as much as he did,complaining about some of nicer cars that weren’t taken care of well as they took turns naming models and makes of the cars on the road.

(Which I will not be doing because while I am all for researching for things, I do not understand much about cars at all, and… yeah. No thank you. Sorry).

When they got to school together, Brian happened to be coming into the building as well, offering a raised eyebrow in regards to the fact that they’d obviously come to school together and the shirt John was wearing was one Roger had been wearing on Friday.

When they got into the break room, John went to get coffee and Brian cornered him.

“Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.”

“Excuse me?”

“He’s wearing your clothes, Rog, and you carpooled.”

“I did not sleep with him. He came over to fix my air conditioner, stayed over too late and I let him sleep on the couch.”

“That’s all?”

“Jesus, Bri. I’m not stupid, that would be a bad idea, even I know that.”

“Okay, okay, fine.”

When John got back, he couldn’t help but think he certainly wouldn’t have minded if that happened.

And, yeah. Maybe he was a bit screwed.

[lovemesomesurveys]

5,000 question survey series--part thirty-seven

3501. Is 'no glove, no love' your STRICT policy? Virgin here, but yeah it would be.

3502. What is the best Epic movie (examples of epics: ben-her, gone with the wind, last temptation of christ)?/ So, I’m dumb and thought you meant “epic” as in “awesome”, but something was telling me that you meant it in a different way, so I had to Google it. Apparently, if anyone else doesn’t know, it’s a style of movie that usually focuses on an heroic character. Google it if you want to know more, but yeah. Anyway, I saw a list of top Epic films and saw Forrest Gump was on there, so I’ll choose that. 3503. Finish the sentance. Hey, Hey we're the: People say we: But we're too busy: The time to hesitate is: You're too: It's a nice day to: start again. 3504. Have you ever had 'missing time'? It does seem like you lose time and it just slips away. I certainly feel that way. 3505. Have you ever sent an electronic greeting? Waaaaay back in the AOL days I sometimes send those electronic greeting cards.

3506. If you could send anonymous tips to people you knew who would never ever find out who sent them who would you send the following tips to? doesn't know when to leave: poor crotch hygenie: talks to much: band/art/dream is going nowehere: most likely to get arrestted: needs to get their life together: bad taste in clothes: bad taste in music: needs a hobby: 3507. Are you more likely to download porn or disney movies? Disney movies. I don’t watch porn. 3508. What is it with people? Good question. 3509. Do you eat too much sugar? No. My thing is carbs. 3510 Imagine you have aband. Let's name your band. Adjective: Plain. Animal(plural): Dogs. Your band name is (adjective) (animals) Under Glass!: Plain Dogs Under Glass. Could be better? Uh, yeah. Let's try again. Adjective: Fabulous. Noun (plural): Clothes. Your band is (adjective) (nouns) With Puppets: Fabulous Clothes With Puppets. 3511. Are you desperate but not serious? What.

3512. Was there a time when you were younger and it took less to get you excited? Oh, definitely. As a kid I was easily pleased and entertained and actually enjoyed doing things. Getting McDonald’s or something was exciting. What did it take then? Not much. What does it take now? A lot. :/ Even when it’s something I do like and enjoy, I just don’t have that spark anymore. Getting food isn’t even exciting anymore. 3513. Remember learning to write in elementary school? Yeah.

We spend 2 years learning to print..then they throw that out the window and teach kids cursive. Why? They don’t throw it out the window. We learned cursive in addition to print.

If cursive is so important and easy to read then why aren't books printed in cursive? It’s just a nicer looking print used more for things like our signature. Why aren't cursive computer fonts more popular? I don’t know, man. Not something I’ve thought about. Why do buisness forms always say 'please print'? Because it’s more legible than cursive typically. That’s just how it is okay I don’t knowww. Schools are so preoccupied with teaching kids the complicated but traditional skill of cursive writing that more emphasis is put on that than on teaching kids how to clearly express their ideas through writing. I move that cursive writing become a jr. high school elective instead of a grammer school priority. Who's with me? I don’t know what it’s like in schools now, but for me I remember learning it, but I don’t remember it being such a big deal. 3514. Can you think of anything else (besides cursive writing) that is unhelpful, or unuseful, yet traditional and unquestioned? What? I’m sure there’s a lot of things, but I don’t feel like coming up with any. 3515. Name one female celebrity who you would guess wears size ___ clothing: 0? 5? 12? 16? 20? 3516. Have you ever been to a place where the restrooms were named in a clever way rather than just saying men's and woman's? I've seen Hens and Roosters, Bart and Lisa, Dudes and Babes...what have you seen? I’ve heard of places that do that, but I don’t think I’ve ever been to one. 3517. What is the 'message' or 'point behind': Fight Club? Donnie Darko? AI? Minority Report? Solaris? A Walk to Remember? You've Got Mail? 3518. have you seen, and what are your thoughts about these movies: Drumline? The Hot Chick? I think it’s funny. Maid in Manhattan? It’s cute. Star Trek: Nemesis? About Schmidt? Evelyn? The Guys? Intacto? The Jimmy Show? The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers? Gangs of New York? Two Weeks Notice? The Wild Thornberrys Movie? I wasn’t into that cartoon much as a kid. Smokers Only? Treasure Planet? The Santa Clause 2? It’s cute, but The Santa Clause will always be the best. 3519. START this sentance: ....and I think to myself, what a wonderful world." Something about seeing trees of green and red roses bloom.

3520. What is: insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. normal? Common, typical among a large group of people. Things can be considered normal for individuals, too. farenheit? Unit to measure temperature.

3521. Tell us about yourself in the third person for a bit: This girl really needs to get her shit together cause she’s a mess. 3522. If someone breaks a law, should they be punished if they did not know it was a law? It can be difficult to prove if they did or not, but that’s why in certain circumstances people are just given a warning.

3523. If it's so much easier to learn languages when we are very young (and it is, something to do with the developing brain) why do they wait until jr high and high school to teach them? *shrug* 3524. Name a band you sort of like: You are wearing that band's t-shirt in a store. SUDDENLY some guy you don't know comes up to you and goes, "Hey! You like (insert name of the band here)??!!" This is obviously a really stupid question because if you didn't like them you wouldn't be wearing the t-shirt. Your witty reply is: 3525. If you were organizing cd's in a music store what section would you put each of the following in (don't forget the 'bargain bin' section!): Blink182 Depech Mode Weezer Led Zeppelin The Doors Avril Lavigne Nelly Manfred Mann Iggy Pop Pink Floyd Guns N Roses Shakira Britny Spears Tool Ozzy Osbourne Madonna The Rolling Stones The Beatles Motley Crue Bon Jovi 3526. Does coffee stimulate your mind or body more? It takes off some of the edge, and I really just love coffee, so I guess I’d say my mind cause it doesn’t do much at all for the tiredness anymore.

3527. Can you do 'six degrees of seperation' to anyone famous? Nope.

3528. What's the oddest thing in your home? *shrug*

3529. Do you find it odd when people who are not handicapped use the handicapped stall: in the bathroom? Some parents use it if they have a small child with them. in the parking lot? There’s a stall in the parking lot? ha. It’s pretty messed up when people who genuinely don’t need it use it and take the place from someone who genuinely does. People need to keep in mind; though, that handicapped doesn’t just mean “wheelchair user.” People assume if they’re not in a wheelchair then they don’t need that parking spot and that’s not always the case. 3530. Do you sometimes find yourself talking to yourself? I call it thinking out loud. My mind is a jumbled mess and it helps me sort out things sometimes.

Do you answer yourself back? I don’t have conversations with myself, I just think things out loud.

3531. In your head do you call yourself 'I' or 'you' or both? I refer to myself as “I.”

3532. What is the best excuse for why you haven't done your homework? I don’t have any cause I’m not in school anymore.

3533. Someone tells you 'well there are black people, and then there are n*ggers'. What do you think? Wow, wtf. I’d think “racist” first of all. 3534. Does culture shape behavior or does behavior shape culture? Both.

3535. What determines whether a person will be: A lot of different factors contribute to these things. intelligent? pretty? happy? sucessful? 3536. What is social loafing? When people put in less effort when they’re in a group. What is groupthink? Conforming to the rest of the group.

3537. I have an idea. let's change the english language by making the words fewer, shorter and more concise. What do ya think? Not sure how you’d go about that. Sounds like a lot of work.

3538. What are the physical symptoms of: joy? Smiling, that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, rapid heart rate. fear? Rapid heart rate, sweating, stomach in knots feeling, trouble breathing. shame? Anger, rage, anxiety, crying. 3539. Here's the scenerio...your little eight year old brother is hangin out in the house when you come in..and catch him watching the playboy channel! What do you do/say? I’d quickly switch the channel and ask what he was doing.

He says, "Why can't I watch this?" What is your response? It’s not appropriate for kids. Watch cartoons. Why do you respond that way? Because I don’t think a child should watch that stuff. I wouldn’t freak out on him, but I’d explain it’s just not appropriate. Then if he had questions he could go to my parents, ha.

3540. Who REALLY has a higher sex drive, girls or guys? Really depends on the person. How can you tell? 3541. are you usually carefree? Ha. Haha. Hahahaha. Good one. 3542. Do you generally prefer reading to meeting people? Yes. 3543. Do you often long for excitement? I mean, a break in the mundane routine is nice. 3544. Are you mostly quiet when you are with others? Depends. 3545. Do you often do things spur of the moment/ Nope. 3546. Are you slow an unhurried in the way you move? No. I know people like that and it can be annoying.

3547. Would you do almost anything for a dare? Nope. I’m a lame-o. 3548. Do you hate being in a crowd who plays jokes on one another? Playful joking and goofing around is fun. Unless that’s all they do and they’re just annoying and obnoxious about it to where it’s not fun anymore. 3549. Do you enjoy wild parties? Nope.

3550. Have you ever paid for something priced more than $5.00 in only change? Noo.

3551. Is rascism still a big part of our culture? Yes. You’re in denial if you think it doesn’t still exist. 3552. A drawing was shown to a person. The drawing showed a black man in a buisness suit standing next to a white man holding a razor. The person who saw this drawing was white and was asked to describe it to a second white person who had not seen it, who described it to a third, and so on. By the end of six rounds the final report often placed the razor in the hand of the black man and it is claimed he is waving it threateningly. What do you think of thiss? There’s a whole test and study on this type of thing. I remember discussing it in one of my psych courses. 3553. How many famous people cxan you name who committed sucicide?> Too many. :( 3554. Do you have OCD? No. 3555. Are you more anxious or relaxed? Very anxious. Insecure or secure? Very insecure. Socialble or with drawn? Very withdrawn. Original or conventional? Hmm. 3556. Are you more emotional or calm? Emotional. self pitying or content? Self-pitying. Fun loving or sober? You can be fun loving and sober... Imaginative or down to earth? Both. 3557. Are you more Friendly or aloof? I’m polite and friendly, but I’m not like outgoing and sociable. adventurous or cautious? Cautious. Broad or narrow when it comes to interests? Broad. recptive or closed to new ideas? I’m open to hearing new ideas and opinions. I don’t have to agree, but it doesn’t mean I’m not open to hearing them. 3558. Are you more good natured or irratble? I’m an irritable person.   soft hearted or ruthless? Soft hearted. well organized or disorganized? Disorganized with life. Dependable or undependable? I used to think I was dependable, but I wouldn’t say that now. 3559. Are you more courteous or rude/ I’m courteous. sympathetic or tough minded/ I can be both. hardworking or lazy? I have no motivation or drive anymore. ambitious or easy going? Generally pretty easy going. I try to be. Anxiety Inscurity Emotionalism and Self Pity are traits of a neurotic personality. Sociable, fun loving, friendly and adventurous are traits of an extraverted personality. orignality, imaginative, broad interests, and receptive are traits of an Open personality. Good natured, soft hearted, courteous, and sympathetic are traits of an agreeable personality. Well organized, dependable, hardworking and ambitious are traits of a conscientious personality. 3560. Do men and woman have little or a lot in common? Depends on the people. A woman or man could have a lot in common, but that same woman or man could have little to nothing in common with another woman or man. It all just depends. 3561. Do you feel like any of the teachers you've ever had have REALLY cared about educating you to think for yourself? Yes. I had a version of Mr. Feeney. Do you tend to try harder if they DO care? It makes a huge difference when the teacher genuinely wants to teach and help you. 3562. Have you ever been stereotyped? Yeah. As what? For my disability. 3563. Have you ever been dsicriminated against? No. For what? 3564. How often is your school and/or job closed due to weather? Done with school, no job. 3565. Who do you know that you believe does not masturbate? I don’t care to know. 3566. Does a cloned human being have a soul? Watch Pet Semetery or something of the sort and see what you think. ha.

Why or why not? You can’t clone the outside, but they’re not going to be the same person. That’s just not something you can clone. A lot of factors go into making a person who they are. 3567. Finish the sentance: As the world turns..I only have one concern...that: I don’t know. 3568. What group in history has been the most oppressed? All groups have. 3569. Have you read any biographies? Yeah. Whose? I’ve read several for school. 3570. What are you obsessed with? I’m not obsessed with a person, but I do love me some Alexander Skarsgard. ;) 3571. Break out your decoder ring..(no hints this time)! t3ii9 8 i9f3 697 29h5 697 53ii j3 6974 hqj3? 3572. Do you crack your: knuckes? Yes. neck? Yes. back? No.

other? Yeah, my arms and wrists. 3573. Of the following powers which 2 would you pick for yourself? The ability to fly, breathe under water, turn invincible, change into animals, freeze and restart time, never gain weight unless you want to, heal people with your touch, have orgasms that last for an hour Fly and restart time. 3574. Do you chew your penciles and pens? No. 3575. Can you tell the exact point where your back ends and your butt begins? Yeah? 3576. When you are bored do you picture everyone eround you naked? No. 3577. What are some great holiday gift ideas for Depends entirely on the person. You really have a tendency to group people and generalize.

guys: girls: 3578. Who looks better naked, men or woman? That depends on your preference. 3579. Do you sit in chairs or fall into them? I’m always sitting. 3580. Has anyone ever: screamed your name during sex? moaned your name during sex? 3581. Hershey's kisses: mint, almond, hugs, plain. other? Mint, plain, and the candy cane ones. 3582. What's the best slurpee flavor? I used to always get Coke and cherry together. I haven’t had a Slurpee in years, though. 3583. What are five movies that you think someone would have to be living under a rock in iceland to not have seen? The Marvel and DC movies, honestly. 3584. Of these words, which ones are funny: beets? cumquat? pit? Piss-capades? fuzzy? What are some other funny words? 3585. Do you give good massages? I’ve never given one. 3586. What songs have been 'stuck' in your head? Nothing at the moment. 3587. What don't most people know about your job? I don’t have a job. 3588. Is there anything you won't say unless someone else says it first? Initiate most conversations apart from my family. 3589. Do you need a little chrsitmas? I still have my decorations up in my room... ha. 3590. Fake or real tree? Real. 3591. Is your refridgerator running? Yeah. You know what to do. Nah, I don’t feel like running after it. 3592. How can you explain when there are few words you can choose? What. 3593. Who can it be now? I wonder who they’re talking about in that song. 3594. Where HAS Joe Dimaggio gone? *shrug* And why does our nation turn it's eys to him? 3595. How often do you get headaches? Maybe a handful a month. It varies. 3596. Have you ever woen fake eyelashes? Yeah. 3597. What could you spend 24 hours ina row doing? I don’t know. 3598. Is it Friday yet? It’s Sunday. 3599. Do you remember There was a time (ahaha) when people on the street were walking hand in hand in hand?/ 3600. Do you talk to inanimate objects? When they’re not functioning properly. Do you try to get them to answer you? ...No. Have they ever answered you? Uh, no. I’d be extremely freaked out if it did.

#I end up skipping so many questions cause they're just so wtf #and I'm lazy #personal #text #survey #surveys #5000 question survey

[ssnakey-b]

Cowboy Bebop Retrospective: Asteroid Blues

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

Hello, everybody! Welcome to the first post of the Cowboy Bebop retrospective! And since I am doing this in chronological order, let’s start with the very first episode: Asteroid Blues.

Synopsis:

The episode, and thus the entire show, opens with a black-and-white flashback sequence. Aside from the distant ringing of bells and the minimalistic tune of a music box, it is silent.

During a cold open (the only one in the series, if memory serves, and if it’s not, it certainly is a rarity), we see the main character walk solemnly in a surprisingly old-looking district considering the show is set in future space colonies, followed by footage of him involved in a massive firefight, during which he is apparently injured as blood can been flowing on his face, the scene being intercut with footage of a rose in a rain puddle, the very same one that can be seen in the header, said image slowly gaining colours. Once the scene ends, we suddenly cut to this:

With the intro over and done with, we then turn to the Bebop itself and are properly introduced to the first two of our main characters: Spike Spiegel and Jet Black, the man with the most on-the-nose name in the universe. Spike is training his sweet martial arts moves, and stops when Jet calls him for either lunch or dinner (it’s hard to tell when they’re in space).

Jet briefs Spike on an interesting bounty , El Mariachi from Despera- I mean Asimov Solensan, a drug pusher, bank robber, murderer and all-around stand-up citizen hiding out in Tijuana, on the run from both the police and the mob. Which is the name of an asteroid, not the Mexican city. Get it, though? Asimov? Because this is a sci-fi show?

Meanwhile, Spike complains that his chinjao rosu has no meat in it. He starts listening again after Jet reminds him that the impressive list of bills they have as a result of Spike’s impulsiveness is the very reason they can’t afford meat in the first place.

However, even after that, Spike isn’t interested in going after Solensan, arguing that TIjuana sucks. But once Jet brings up that you can find some of the best meat around, Spike is suddenly down with his plan.

And so they’re off to Tijuana, where we are introduced to another vital staple of the show:

Yay, it’s the three old men! The guys who always seem to cross the Bebop crew somehow yet never actually have anything to do with the plot! Also, to this day, I still have it in my headcanon that the one in the baseball cap is an elderly Ash Ketchum, and nobody can convince me otherwise.

They do what they do best, which is argue, until Asimov walks in, accompanied by his lovely and pregnant wife, Katerina.

They order drinks, but it quickly becomes obvious that it’s not what they’re actually there for and before long, Asimov discreetly draws a vial of some strange purple liquid with a thin red strip inside it from under his coat and shows it to the bartender. By the way, I love how it shines despite the fact that it makes no sense considering the way the scene is lit. Let’s not forget, this may be one of the more realistic examples of the medium, but Cowboy Bebop very much still is an anime.

The two of them go to the back, where it is revealed that the drug is called Bloody Eye and is apparently very sought after and very expensive (at least “real” Bloody Eye, implying that there are cheaper fake alternatives). Meanwhile, gangsters pull over and get ready to attack. Meanwhile, the bartender insists that Asimov demonstrate use the Bloody Eye on himself to prove it’s the real deal. Through a POV shot, we are shown that the drug heightens reflexes while making it feel like time is slowing down and also giving your sight a dramatic red tint.

The gangsters attack, shooting the place up and murdering an innocent pinball machine (RIP). Asimov and Katerina, however, easily manage to fight them off, the Bloody Eye even allowing Asimov to literally dodge bullets.

And providing us with beautiful visuals.

While this is going on, Spike is consulting an old Native American shaman sitting by a bunch of discarded electronics, as you do, who tells him where to find “the red-eyed coyote” and tells Spike that he will meet a woman who will try to kill him. He also sees death after that, with Spike dropping hints about his own backstory when he says he already died once, and it already was because of a woman.

This guy is called Laughing Bull, by the way. Evidently because of his jovial disposition.

Jet finds the bar, or rather what’s left it after the shoot-out. Two more gangsters arrive, giving him the opportunity to knock one out and get the other to tell him what he knows about Asimov.

While stopping to refuel his fish, the Swordfish, Spike unknowingly meets Asimov in a dingy bathroom, then Katerina outside. She’s carrying a big bag of groceries and Spike pulls the old “bump into them to steal their shit” trick, grabbing some of her food while pretending to help her pick it up, establishing that Spike has pickpocketing skills.

When she figures it out, Katerina isn’t amused at first but actually ends up being a bit impressed once he reveals just how much stuff he managed to steal without her noticing.

You know it’s a well written show when it can honestly make stealing food from a pregnant woman look whimsical.

He gives it back and apologizes, explaining he was starving. They start having a nice chat, where we get more character development. Spike explains he’s been flying the Swordfish around for 10 years and hails from Mars. Katerina seems to have a very idealized of that planet. She dreams of leaving Tijuana to move there, as she believes that living there is a guarantee for an idyllic life. Spike replies that it’s true... if you’ve got money.

Katerina says she and her husband should be able to live there happily, then. One of those silences that speaks louder than words settles, as Spike figures it out (assuming he wasn’t just putting on a show up until now) and asks her if she and Asimov truly intend to move there and spend their life on the run.

Asimov catches him off-guard and starts choking him. He probably would have killed Spike too if it weren’t for Katerina telling him to stop.

Jet finds Spike and tells him he’s giving up. It’s too hot, everyone who goes after Asimov ends up dead. Spike, however, shows that he managed to snatch one of their Bloody Eye vials and fully intends to keep going after them.

And he does! Finding them in a restaurant, he confronts Asimov. An amazingly directed and animated fight scene ensues.

It is broken up when more mobsters show up, both in the air with aircrafts and on the ground with cars. Katerina and Asimov make their escape, but in the middle of all the excitement, a stray bullet grazes Katerina’s belly, which doubtless sends the audience in a cold sweat... until Bloody Eye starts spilling out, revealing she wasn’t pregnant at all and her fake stomach was actually a cache (points for cleverness, wonder if any drug pusher tried that in real life).

Asimov yells at her, screaming that they’re done for if they lose the drugs. At that moment, Katerina seems to come to a horrific realization.

The mobsters don’t stop coming, but Jet saves the day, ramming their cars with his craft, the Hammerhead, whose tip looks like it belongs more on an excavator than on a spacecraft.

Asimov and Katerina escape and Spike is hot on their tail, taking out several mob ships in the process. Spike is getting ever closer to them as they desperately try to run away. They all escape the city and reach space, only for them to be face by a police barrage, literally hundreds of ship ready for them. Stuck between the cops, bounty hunters and the mob and with her husband’ mind and body being swallowed up by dope, Katerina no longer has it in her to keep fighting.

“There will be no honeymoon on Mars. This is the end of the road” she says. Giving her man the mercy of a quick death, she looks a shocked Spike straight in the eyes as she awaits the hail of bullets from the cops.

We cut back to the Bebop. Bookending the episode is Jet cooking. He can’t find Spike in his usual spot though. He finds him in a windowed room, staring longingly into the eternity of space after he finishes training. Spike asks what’s for dinner, and Jet replies “a special chinjao rosu”.

Thoughts:

Ho boy, what a way to start the show. Now, if I’m being honest, this is a fairly run-of-the-mill episode for Cowboy Bebop, but that says more about the quality of the show than it does about that of the episode, because it was great. And while it’s in my opinion not among the best the show has given us, I think it was an excellent first episode.

It represents the show perfectly, everything you need to know about it in terms of tone, style, aesthetics, characters and storytelling is here, which is no doubt why it did such a great job of capturing people’s attention. After you’re done seeing the episode, you know this isn’t your average anime. And indeed, I heard the message loud and clear, especially since my idea of anime at the time, and really TV in general, was stuff like Pokémon and Card Captor Sakura, so needless to say, this blew my mind, especially considering I only check it out to see what this show that took The Simpsons’ slot on the channel was. My 11-year-self* was like “are you even allowed to make stuff this good on TV? Let alone in cartoons?”.

And yeah, I think this is the show that really made me realize that cartoons could be made for an adult audience (as well as 11-year-olds with a taste for things not for his age) and be mature, thought-provoking and immensely emotional. I’m really not sure the show would have been so successful if it didn’t make this good of a first impression.

And make no mistake, it being an “average” episode by Cowboy Bebop’s standards doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its memorable moments, as the image of Katerina floating into space while drugs spill out of her has been stuck in my mind from the very first time I saw it, and it’s still one of the things my mind goes straight to whenever I think of the show.

So yeah, it establishes the first two of the main characters, and while this is by now means the only, let alone the first show to gather its cast over time, I think this is especially nicely done here as the fact that there’s only two of them so far really gives time to develop them well in spite of the episode only lasting about 20 minutes (not counting the ending credit and teaser for the next episode).

Jet being introduced by cooking immediately speaks volume about him, showing that in spite of his massive size and fairly scary appearance, he’s by far the nicest and most restrained one of the group, preferring to stay behind and supervise everything, and enjoying quiet activities, but it also shows he can occasionally be the muscle of the group as well in the couple action scenes he gets.

I’ve seen him described as “fatherly”, and I think that fits him well. An older, stern, physically imposing yet disciplined and calm man, who takes care of the home life and is generally the voice of reason, but does have a sense of humour and can get tough when necessary, mostly to protect the people he cares about.

Spike’s major characteristics are laid out as well. From his physical prowess to his generally laid-back attitude, his sarcastic sense of humour and his nihilism (in a good way, as in he doesn’t think life has any inherent meaning or purpose, but that only means you’re free to give it whatever meaning and purpose you value).

As I alluded to earlier, this first episode also does a great job of giving people a good idea of what to expect in terms of visuals. Thinking about it, this is definitely one of the episodes that falls the furthest on the “western” side of the show (I mean, it’s set in a place called Tijuana, for crying out loud!), but sci-fi elements still pop-up, such as the gates, and I think it was a good idea to introduce them in the first episode in order to make people comfortable with it, as these are definitely one of the harder sci-fi elements in the show, and I’m not sure people would have just gone with it so easily if they’d gotten used to the more realistic aspects of it first.

There’s an especially great moment near the end of the episode that I think illustrates the show’s mixture of western and sci-fi perfectly, as the characters are flying off into space, we see the background quickly shift from the old-fashioned run down city to the vast emptiness of space, with the gates and spacecrafts, in like a second, it really goes to show how these two styles clash yet also merge.

We also get small touches you may not have noticed at first (but your brain did), like having parts of the city being visible almost at an 90 degree angle in the background, the unnatural visual reminding you that in spite of the realism, this IS a sci-fi show.

Another aspect of the show this episode establishes right away is the cultural diversity.

Yes, Cowboy Bebop is very famous for portraying a multitude of cultures and ethnicities, something you didn’t see much in Japanese works of the time (and you still really don’t). The world of Cowboy Bebop frequently features Black people, Middle-Eastern people, Asian people, Native American people (as seen in this very episode), etc... and various people of mixed ancestry. And just look at the above screenshot, where you can see Japanese, Chinese, Arabic, English, Korean and I think I see some Russian and perhaps Thai.

This is something that carries on throughout the show as signs are often translated in many languages, and the announcements at the gates can also be heard in multiple languages. It makes sense when you think about it. People left the Earth to colonise the Solar System, and the earliest settlers would probably be people from all over the world being mixed together. They probably wouldn’t just give up on their cultures, but they’d end up being far closer together than they used to.

By the way, that diversity isn’t just for show and the writers have clearly done their homework as Laughing Bull can be heard calling Wakan Tanka to protect Spike, Wakan Tanka apparently being a spirit (and not just any but “the great spirit”) according to Lakota Sioux beliefs.

Another aspect it shows very well is the atmosphere and tone. It is very dark and heavy in places, but it’s also got some lighter moments. It also displays the show’s affection for tarantinoing. You know, when characters are having dialogue that has nothing to do with the plot and they’re just bullshitting around to add to the general feeling of a scene and the work as a whole?

Now of course, it doesn’t take it to Tarantino’s extremes, and it’s usually in the middle of a scene that is related to the plot, like with Spike complaining that he finds Jet’s lack of beef disturbing while Jet himself is trying to talk business, but it’s nice that it’s there. It’s something love (probably a big part of the reason why I like Tarantino movies so much). I think it adds a lot of character to a work. It makes the world feel much more alive as it shows that the people inhabiting it do have lives outside of the story we’re following.

I’ll take an average story in a world I feel attached to over a carefully crafted one that doesn’t make me care about the world it’s set in. And here, we have a great story set in a world I love, it’s the total package!

Oh yeah, and this is also the first appearance of the Bloody Eye, a very interesting bit of lore, as the drug ends up showing up again and becoming a major plot point later on. I also like the implication that there’s fake Bloody Eye, which is a surprisingly realistic detail for a fantasy drug, as in real life, cheap alternatives to expensive drugs are a thing, and they usually are cut down with all sorts of shit that makes it even worse for your health than the real stuff. Again, there’s a contrast between the very fantastical look of the drug versus the realistic implications of its existence.

Next, I have to mention the visuals because man! I remembered the animation being good, but I never realized it was THIS good. I guess maybe becoming an artist myself has made me gain even more respect and appreciation for this sort of work, but the animation on Cowboy Bebop is still impressive to this day.

The characters and vehicles are pretty much always on model (and indeed, I don’t remember ever seeing a scene that looked off in this show) in spite of being very detailed.

In that regard, some of the shots that I found the most impressive are actually ones of very little importance, like Jet tossing his bell pepper in the pan. Just think for a second of how much of a pain in the ass it must have been to draw several frames of these goddamn peppers, keeping track of which one goes where and making sure their shape and size stays consistent.

Another very impressive one is one Jet arrives to save the day, and we are then treated to a shot of the Hammerhead with Jet inside it slowly tilting downwards. Again, being able to keep all these details consistent, and drawing all these frames at a slightly different angle each time to give the impression of the camera panning, is nothing short of stunning if you have any idea how difficult and time-consuming animation can be.

I heard a big part of the motivation behind Cowboy Bebop was to showcase the studio’s animation abilities, which is why it often has weird trippy scenes and bizarre characters and locations, well mission fucking accomplished, guys!

I also want you to look at the screenshot above because another aspect of this show’s look I always loved is the expressions and body language, being, again, very realistic, but still ever so slightly exaggerated to give it more life. I especially remember this being one of the few shows that often had the characters’ entire jaw move when they talk, not just their mouth. This ended up being a big influence on me as this is how I strive to draw my characters myself. Animated enough to feel intense, but still realistic enough to be relatable.

And as much as I liked anime at the time, I always got annoyed whenever it went super deformed, and I still do, as I usually felt it was trying way too hard to be wacky and ended up ruining its own attempted effect, so it was very refreshing to me to see an anime that kept it believable, but still remembered it was a cartoon, and to take advantage of that fact when they do need to show more dramatic expressions like Asimov’s psycho grin up there.

It’s not just characters either, as we often see parts of the vehicles shake and rattle, and even some details I wouldn’t have thought of but which add a lot, such as a car springing up and down slightly as characters sit in it or exit it. Very very nice attention to detail.

And last but not least, concerning the visuals, yet another thing I love about the show’s aesthetics, and something that helps it feel very grounded, is how almost everything is a bit used up. You have all sorts of little details like scratches on mechanics, cracks on walls, graffiti, posters, dirt, etc... all things that further help make the world feel lived-in, rather than just decoration for a story. They’re like so many scars letting you know that a lot happened there and those who lived to tell the tale have seen some shit.

Now, I also have to bring up the writing. I actually don’t have much to say in the regard. It’s just plain good, and pretty much everything I’ve talked about so far is kind of part of the writing process already, and once again, this first episode does a very good job of letting us know what to expect. Sad moments, happy ones and everything in between.

One thing I will say that never really registered in my mind but that I noticed when re-watching this is that sometimes, we don’t quite know how the characters got where they did and knew where to go, they just kind of show up where they need to be.

But that’s not a bad thing! Because we really don’t need to see how they knew where to go. We can surmise they found some info, followed some trail, or even just made an educated guess on their target’s most likely destination, but to see scene after scene of them tracking their bounty would be pointless, so just having them be there makes the most sense and keep the story flowing (again, keep in mind they only have 20 to 25 minutes per episode).

That’s another thing to keep in mind for any writers out there (including myself): we don’t need to know the exact details of how or why something happened. As long as it doesn’t create plot holes, if we can have a good idea of how they did it, if it makes sense for them to be able to do it, if it doesn’t add anything to either the story, the characters, the lore or the atmosphere, you can skip to what’s important.

And last but certainly not least, there’s the music. I mean... how can you talk about Cowboy Bebop and not talk about the sublime soundtrack by Yoko Kanno and the Seatbelts?

Yet again, this episode sets the mood by showcasing some of the common theme tunes of the show and letting you know that you’re own for lots of western-inspired music and lots of blues, jazz and bebop (who would have thought?).

It all complements the visuals perfectly, and it’s probably not an accident that the show opens with no dialogue or sound effect, but with music, going from the melancholic sounds of a music box to the extremely energetic “Tank!” in the intro, yet another thing highlighting the contrasts of that show.

However, having said that, one thing I noticed through this episode is that, as deeply as it is tied to the show, it doesn’t play all the often. Most of the scenes have no background music. That’s another thing that keeps the show feeling down-to-earth and realistic, and much like with the expressions, it makes the times when it does get stronger all the more powerful.

Trivia / matters of interest:

Couple interesting things I noticed regarding the French dub (which, as I alluded to in my announcement, is excellent, it’s worth noting for anime). I remember that in the English one, Jet describes the food he’s preparing as “bell pepper and beef”, which, you know, is one way to call it, but as I mentioned, the French dub does go the whole hog and gives it its Chinese name, Chinjao rosu, which I feel fits in well with the whole “cultural mixture” thing the show’s got going. Plus, I fele like Jet explicitly mentioning beef makes it sound like he’s just being a dick to Spike.

However, while the French dub is good, it’s not perfect, so we have some weirdness, as Laughing Bull refers to Asimov as “the red-eyed coyote”, which of course alludes to his drug habit, whereas Spike later calls him “the red coyote”, omitting the eye part. Granted, I realize it’s a nitpick and you could easily explain that away as Spike not remembering fully, but I just like “red-eyed” better.

As I mentioned before, Tijuana is a real place and interestingly, this one has a place called Zona Norte, which also exists in the real Tijuana and is a red light district. Guess the settlers who founded this town must have been Tijuana natives.

And that’s it for this first episode. I hope you liked it, thank you very much if you stuck to the end. I realize this was a long read but since this is the first episode and gives me an opportunity to mention recurring elements from the show, I really wanted to cover everything. Future instalments should be shorter. I’m also hard at work on the next part of the FF8 translarison. That’s gonna be a big’un too, so I’m not sure when it’ll be posted, but the screenshots are all done, promise.

You know, this episode was pretty much the perfect average of everything Cowboy Bebop, and yet it was still one of the heavier episodes of the show. We need some levity to clear the air a bit, so thankfully, next time, it’s all about a cute puppy, in Stray Dog Strut!

* I first saw it in the summer of 2000 when it was shown on a channel called Canal +. It was not actually the first time it was aired over here but I do believe this is when it got really popular, as the channel that first broadcast it was a smaller satellite channel, with satellite television not being very big yet at the time.

#Cowboy Bebop #cowboy #Bebop #retrospective #anime #bloody eye #drugs #analysis #review #Asimov #Katerina #Solensan #bounty hunter #bounty hunting #first #episode #pilot #recurring #themes

[delamitrinews]

From Changing Everything To The Here And Now - an Interview with Del Amitri

Last November Del Amitri surprised fans with the announcement of their long-awaited return to the stage - four years after their first UK dates for more than a decade. A hint about new material has appeared on their blog, but since they put the band on ice in 2002 the music industry has gone through drastic changes that have had huge repercussions for how music is now recorded and consumed.

In this exclusive interview for the Del Amitri Fans Facebook account and Twitter feed - run for the fans by fans - Justin Currie and Iain Harvie tell Rhiannon Law about the past, present and future of the band.

It’s an uncharacteristically balmy afternoon when I sit down with the two founding members of Del Amitri at Justin Currie’s Glasgow home. As both men get themselves settled - facing each other across a coffee table with mugs of coffee and a plate of rather delicious ginger biscuits - the beginning feels like the best place to start. So, what are their earliest memories of meeting each other? “The first two guitar players that I’d gone to school with had buggered off to university” explains Currie, recalling the need to recruit new members to the band, which had already played a dozen or more gigs by that point. That incarnation of Del Amitri had also put out the ‘Happy Birthday/What She Calls It’ flexi-disc (alongside The Bluebells). Following an advert placed in McCormack’s music shop, the interview process began for anyone who could play anything.

“So for two weeks we just met all these really rubbish people,” says Currie of the many “deeply insecure” wannabe lead singers that approached him. “And then Iain came in and it was just a completely different ballgame - a proper person who was interested in music and really into writing as well.”

“I’d only been in school bands and bands that had played covers in social clubs,” recalls Harvie. “So I just had this perception that there was no way I was gonna get into this band because they were just so successful...but it was quite quickly shattered!”

Once the two bandmates have stopped laughing, Currie explains that the Del Amitri rehearsal space at the time was a small janitor’s flat in the basement of a Victorian school. They then moved into an even smaller room next door on the basis that they didn’t have to share it with anyone and could lock their gear up. Despite being the size of a toilet, it proved to be enough space to do the rehearsals for their first album.

“It was always key to us to have our own space because none of us really wrote songs separately,” says Currie. “We all wrote collectively and that was very time inefficient. There was a lot of time spent in rehearsal rooms just staring at each other going ‘do something!’ So, it was really important to have your own space rather than just renting a room once a week.”

Following the release of the first album - and due in some part to some arrested funds - the band took off on a self-funded tour of America. This is a concept that many young bands would be familiar with today, but something that was quite radical for the late 1980s. “The last money we had we spent on the air tickets, so we had no money in our pockets when we got there” recalls Currie.

I’m told that the plan was to become pen pals with fans in America and then enlist their help to put on gigs and to crash on their floors. “It was a kind of pre-internet social networking,” says Harvie. However, despite the best-laid plans of their manager at the time, the tour didn’t go quite to plan. “The first gig was a financial disaster” Currie admits, “we did the whole thing and we got round by basically begging and borrowing.”

Luckily that initial experience of touring didn’t put them off for life and our conversation quickly shifts from the past to the present. Del Amitri will shortly be heading out on their first UK tour since ‘The A-Z of Us’ tour in 2014. “We really enjoyed 2014,” says Currie. “We didn’t know if we would enjoy it or not. We were very apprehensive about it, but we loved doing it. So we thought we’ll probably end up doing this again at some point and it just seemed like the right time. And we got offered the [Edinburgh] Castle again and we thought that’s quite tempting.”

The lack of an album to plug offered the band the chance to go on the road for the first time without the pressure of doing additional promotional work. Although Currie is quick to point out that promotion was always part of the job and something they were happy to do in the most part, he adds that the lack of this in 2014 was refreshing. “We’re getting paid to eat nicely catered food every day and play to really enthusiastic audiences and we don’t have to do anything else, we’re just doing the gigs. So that was a bit of a revelation, that this is great fun.”

When I ask if they still get nervous, or at least apprehensive, before shows, Currie responds almost instantly with an emphatic nod “yeah”, whereas Harvie smiles. “I never really got nervous particularly,” he says. “Even if things were going colossally wrong on stage, I’ve never really suffered from nerves. But maybe at The Hydro I was expecting to be quaking in my boots before we went on stage.”

Both bandmates concede that the size of the Glasgow venue, which has a 13,000 capacity, had potentially caused a few jitters. “I remember clearly going behind the stage at The Hydro and just thinking ‘who are all these people’?” exclaims Harvie. “There’s like hundreds of people. There are ambulance guys at these stadium shows and then there’s all the local crew and there might be like twenty of them all waiting to get the support band’s gear and then there are TV guys. So you come out of the dressing room and there are fifty people you’ve never seen before hanging around - all working. And they all kind of defer to you. They all just get out of your way and don’t make eye contact with you and you think ‘oh god this is weird’.”

But it was the response of the crowd at The Hydro that helped to calm any unease at the situation. “The audience all got up on their feet and they didn’t sit down,” says Currie “and that really helped us because we didn’t feel like we had to get them. They were just all over us from the start.”

Despite audiences clamouring for more after the 2014 tour, the band still express surprise at the reaction to the 2018 dates. “Oh, they’re still there!” Currie gives a little laugh but there is a hint of relief in his voice. The response from the fanbase to the tour announcement was to turn-out en masse, with many Edinburgh Castle tickets being sold on the first day of release.

“The weird thing is that people are so into going to these sorts of concerts now and we’re basically selling more tickets than we ever did really, it’s quite bizarre,” says Harvie. “We’re not going to do so many shows, but the venues that we’re playing at are big, if not bigger, than the venues we’d been to in 2002 when we stopped. It’s quite mad.”

I wonder aloud if this could be put down to the fact that fans are concerned that each tour may be their last opportunity to see Del Amitri live? “We never suggested in 2014 that we wouldn’t do it again because we didn’t really know” asserts Currie. “I mean it’s a possibility that we won’t do this again - it might not be feasible, we might not want to do it. For us, four years seemed like kinda the right amount of time. If it had been two years since The Hydro and all that sort of stuff it would have just felt a bit like we were trying to milk it.” He pauses for a few seconds before adding “Who knows what we’ll be doing in 5 or 10 years? Maybe we’ll all be dead!”

I mention that there has been a bit of criticism on social media regarding the prices for this tour, with some tickets costing £75. “Personally, I think that’s too much,” says Currie. “We don’t put on our own shows, we don’t have that kind of manpower. If we did we could control ticket prices. With the dawn of the music-is-free era, most bands main, or only, income is from live performance. I’ve watched ticket prices creep up, seemingly inexorably. I think that’s really unfair on those fans, like me, who still pay for their recorded music rather than streaming it all on YouTube. The most galling thing for me is the insultingly low fees that opening bands receive on my solo gigs especially. We will often subsidise that on a small scale to ensure we get the acts we want. That needs to change.”

So, will we get to hear any new Del Amitri material on this year's tour? Currie sounds positive in his response. “We’re thinking about doing new songs, like maybe one or two, on the tour.” However, he is more uncertain when it comes to the question of whether an album will follow. “We were sort of thinking about doing a record...we’re just humming and hawing about I guess.”

“We need to get back into the rehearsal room and get things moving again and see where that takes us” Harvie agrees.

There nearly was a new record a while back, as it turns out. Harvie went to Currie with some ideas for an electronic album - something radically different to anything they had released before. “Iain at that time was into programming stuff and writing things on the computer and I thought it was a great idea,” says Currie. “We did a few writing trips and wrote a ton of stuff that we really liked, but there was never any great impetus behind it. Our manager didn’t particularly like it. It didn’t sound like anything Del Amitri had done before, but we thought it was Del Amitri because it was me and Iain writing all the tunes and it was all quite melodic.”

However, they were advised not to release it as a Del Amitri album and it is apparent that this caused them concern. “We just couldn’t see a way for Justin and I to release a record that wasn’t going to be a Del Amitri record” explains Harvie. Hearing them reflect on it now, it seems like the advice from their manager, John Reid, was sound. “I don’t think I was aware until after we stopped touring that Del Amitri had acquired a kind of identity that wasn’t necessarily my identity, or even our identity.” Harvie continues.

The electronic album would not only have potentially been a step too far away from the Del Amitri identity, but it would also have been released at a time when the music industry was in complete turmoil. Both agree that it would have been a crazy time to reinvent the band. However, it’s clear that they loved the material and when they talk about this unreleased music it’s as though they are still coming to terms with the fact it didn’t happen. “We really liked it. We were dead into it, you know.” Currie enthuses.

It’s Harvie that notes the difficulties it would have caused for future tours. “I think it would have been odd to do these shows now if we had gone off in another direction, which is why I think John was maybe quite astute.”

I note that adding an electro section to a Del Amitri set would be a tricky proposition from a practical point of view and Harvie agrees. “That would have been a bit rubbish,” he says, “as if we’re like Spinal Tap on a sort of jazz odyssey.”

So, they’ve avoided the potential pitfalls of releasing something radical at a time when they would have needed a big promotional machine working for them, but what do they think about the current trend of releasing crowdfunded music? “I’ve avoided raising money from a fanbase because to me that makes you, psychologically at least, beholden to their expectations and I think that’s quite dangerous,” explains Currie. “When Del Amitri made ‘Change Everything’ I found it quite odd because for the first time ever we were making a record that had an audience expecting it out there. For me, that was a completely different way of thinking about what we were doing and I found that quite confusing. And I think I would find it quite confusing if a hundred people gave us an amount of money to make an album. I would be pretty sure what those hundred people would be expecting and I think that would limit us in where we felt like we could go.”

Harvie agrees “It seems a bit cheeky from our perspective to crowdfund a record. If you want to make a record, go and make a record and then sell it to me”. That said, both are quick to acknowledge that it can be a useful way for those starting out to get a project off the ground in this way.

Currie and Harvie have both had their own projects in the years between the pause button being pressed on Del Amitri and the 2014 and current tours. Currie has been making solo records for more than ten years, with his fourth album ‘This Is My Kingdom Now’ released last year.

Harvie’s most public-facing work was a project called ‘Aliens’ that he explains was done with a neighbour. However, what many people may be unaware of is that the majority of his time has been - and is being - spent on scored music. He did a masters in composition at the Guildhall School of Music and Drama in London and is now in the middle of doing a three-year doctoral level composition project at the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. “I think it has given me quite a lot of insight into what we did in the past,” he says before Currie interjects with “Yeah, you don’t want that, insight” and laughs.

I’m keen to understand how they know when a song, or a riff, or just the seed of an idea is for Del Amitri or for something else. “Recently I went away on a wee writing trip on my own with a sort of Del Amitri head on, rather than a Justin Currie solo head on and it’s definitely really different,” says Currie “If you put yourself in the headspace of writing for a specific thing you will write different things. It’s quite odd.”

Harvie goes back to the idea of an identity that has been created. “It’s quite a coherent body of work and that’s kind of how people recognise the identity,” he says. “There is something in there that you can tune back into and refocus. We were probably doing it sort of subconsciously at the time.” Currie agrees, saying “We did try and do something different on every record but, as Iain’s saying, there was a sort of cultural expectation or framework around the band that we probably didn’t go outside of.”

With the tour fast approaching, I ask how they choose a set list from the substantial Del Amitri back catalogue. “It was kind of easy last time because the concept was ‘The A-Z of Us’, so we knew we were going to do at least something from the Chrysalis album and try to cover all bases. We don’t really have a concept this time.” Currie confesses.

“You can’t really get away with leaving certain things out,” Harvie acknowledges. ”And from our perspective, you might think ‘well nobody wants to hear that again’, but that’s not really the case. But that’s going back to that identity thing. Would it be Del Amitri if you didn’t do ‘Kiss This Thing Goodbye’ or ‘Always The Last To Know’ or ‘Roll To Me’ or ‘Nothing Ever Happens’ or ‘Be My Downfall’?”

There’s a bit of nervous laughter as they realise just how close the tour is and that the set list will soon have to be confirmed. “We’re feeling our way into how we make it different from 2014, but it is essentially still the same thing because we’re not selling a new record,” confirms Currie.

“There’s a few wacky ideas going around, but we can’t share them with you yet,” says Harvie, despite my best efforts to get some more detail. “Actually it did cross my mind that we could cover the new Abba song that nobody’s heard yet.” From the raucous laughter that follows his comment, I gather that an Abba medley is off the list.

There are many fans who will be hoping to hear some of their less well-known album tracks and b-sides on this tour. However, Currie is quick to note that they have a varied audience - many people may be coming to see them because they’ve got the greatest hits album or because they saw them once years ago and just fancy seeing them again. “You’ve just got to be aware that you don’t want to be being too specialist,” he says. “Commercial success creates expectations and you need to be really smart to subvert them and get away with it.” Both agree that a venue like Edinburgh Castle would not be the place to try to do that, although there is a hint that the Barrowlands dates may provide the opportunity to do something a bit different.

Despite their achievements, Del Amitri have always maintained they were “never hip”. I’m interested to know if that has helped them to return to the stage. “If you’re never relevant, you can’t suddenly become irrelevant! Yeah, I think that’s absolutely true” Currie agrees. “And also, if you’re not selling yourself on some sort of cutting edge hip thing then age is slightly kinder on you as well, to a certain extent.”

“It sounds an odd thing to say but we did want to make timeless rock and roll,” says Harvie. “What a dreadful cliché, but we were very much in that idiom where it was two guitars, bass and drums. It was a totally classic format. We were deliberately trying to be not of the time. We didn’t perceive it necessarily as being retro or being timeless...I wish I hadn’t used that word, but I think it’s probably the right word.”

Staying true to this format has meant that the band has had to stick to their guns over the years, particularly during the making of ‘Waking Hours’ when there was pressure to go against their ethos and use lots of shiny new production techniques. “It was quite a brave thing to do at the time,” Harvie says. “It does put us in a position now where we can do exactly the same thing and it still sounds right, which isn’t the case if you’d got into that whole 80s production thing.”

While the band has been away there has been plenty of Del Amitri related activity - organised, mostly, by the fanbase. The ‘Pasted Beyond Recognition’ Del Amitri covers album and concert raised thousands of pounds for Spina Bifida Hydrocephalus Scotland. Harvie notes that he really enjoyed the concert and “found the whole thing quite touching.”

There is also the forthcoming book ‘These Are Such Perfect Days: The Del Amitri Story’ by Charles Rawlings-Way. “We gave him as many contacts as we could and then electronically introduced him to people that would be relevant, to be part of the story,” says Currie. “I’m really chuffed that he’s done it and it feels like all that information is of no great import and the story is of no great import, but at least it’s all in one place and, having read it, it’s all true”.

“It’s interesting in that he started off with a specific thesis about the band that he thought would make a good book but in the process of talking to everybody that thesis sort of reversed” Currie continues. “I like that. I like that we confounded him.”

Currie also notes that, coincidentally, the ‘Rip It Up’ exhibition at the National Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh is also opening on the 22nd June and some Del Amitri memorabilia will feature, including a tartan guitar. “We don’t have a record and we’ve never intended on having a record, but there’s other things happening so it makes you feel like there’s a reason to be doing everything this year,” he says.

To conclude our conversation before the coffee runs dry and the biscuits are just crumbs, I ask the question that I know they will be dreading: what does the future hold for Del Amitri? “We’re trying to write new songs and we’ll see where that goes,” Currie confirms. “I don’t think we ever thought we made a killer album. There was always something slightly wrong with every album, in some cases more than others. There were better songs on albums that didn’t sound as good as other albums that had worse songs on them and that kind of thing. So there’s an opportunity there to try and rectify that, but if we didn’t feel like we were getting close to rectifying that I don’t think we would put anything out.”

“We’ve never had to do anything in a world where people don’t actually buy music!” Harvie exclaims. “But that’s quite interesting because it changes things. In 2002 the change [in the music industry] was perceived as being brutal and negative, but I don’t know if it necessarily has been in the long run. In a sense, we’re kind of feeling our way back into that and seeing if we might be able to do something useful.”

The music industry has changed. The way people consume music has changed. The concept of an album has changed - Harvie calls it a “romantic idea” and “slightly ludicrous” in the current climate. So what does the future hold for Del Amitri beyond the tour? “We’re going to reinvent the music business in our own image in an effort to preserve the identity of Del Amitri,” says Harvie with a playful smile.

A lot may have changed since the band took their extended break, but talking with them today the enthusiasm for playing their music obviously remains and the excitement for the forthcoming tour is clear. Whatever the future may hold, for the time being, Del Amitri are a band very much focussed on the here and now.

(Words: Rhiannon Law)

Del Amitri 2018 UK tour dates

July 20 - Newcastle City Hall July 21 - Edinburgh Castle July 22 - Manchester Apollo July 23 - Birmingham Symphony Hall July 25 - Nottingham Royal Concert Hall July 26 - London Hammersmith Apollo July 28 - Glasgow Barrowlands July 29 - Glasgow Barrowlands

#delamitri #justincurrie #iainharvie #interview

[valdomarx]

All the times Steve nearly kissed Tony

More Avengers Assemble fluff, because AA really is the good verse <3 This can be read as a continuation to Touch if you like.

The first time Steve nearly kissed Tony was during a team movie night. Tony had, as usual, curled up on the sofa next to Steve and promptly fallen asleep on his shoulder. Any attempts to move or readjust him where met with the sort of whining growls one usually heard from a particularly grumpy cat, so Steve decided against antagonizing him further.

They and the rest of the team had been watching Some Like It Hot. The 20s setting had made Steve nostalgic, but the charming comedy of errors had made him laugh out loud. And that Marilyn Monroe - she really was something, he’d said to Clint, who had enthusiastically agreed.

After the movie had ended and the team had departed to go to bed, Steve gently nudged Tony. “Hey, sleepy,” he’d said softly. “You missed the movie.”

Tony looked up from Steve’s shoulder and opened one eye. “Worth it,” he said with a dozy smile. “You’re very comfy.”

For a moment, their eyes met, and Steve realized that he could lean forward a few inches, turn his head, and brush their lips together.

Just as Steve was wondering where that thought came from and what he should do about it, Tony snuggled his face back into Steve’s shoulder and promptly fell asleep.

Huh, thought Steve. That was odd.

The next time was on one of his and Tony’s Tuesday get-togethers. It wasn’t clear quite how it happened, but Tuesday night had become their hang out time, when every week they’d go explore the city or see a show or cook dinner together. It didn’t help Steve’s awkward feelings that Sam insisted on referring to it as their ‘date night’ with a cheeky grin.

This Tuesday, he and Tony had been eating snacks and having an involved conversation about who would win in a fight: the Hulk or Godzilla. Godzilla had been the subject of a previous movie night, and it was safe to say that Steve was a fan.

“I can’t believe you’d disrespect our team mate in that way,” Tony teased. “Didn’t you know that the Hulk is the strongest there is?”

“I’m just saying, no offense to the green guy, but Godzilla levelled an entire city. He’s the king of the monsters! And he’s big, even bigger than the Hulk… Hey, that’s the last strawberry!”

Tony had taken up the one solitary juicy strawberry that was sat on a plate between them and he eyed Steve mischievously. Tony knew that strawberries were Steve’s favourite.

“Yeah?” Tony said with a grin, bringing the strawberry up to his mouth and taking a cheeky bite. “And what are you going to do about it, old man?”

Steve was seized by a moment of pure insanity, wanting nothing more than to push Tony back against the sofa cushions and lick the taste off his lips. His pulse raced, his fingers twitched, wanting to pull Tony closer and taste the strawberry on his tongue.

He must have been staring, because before he could gather his thoughts into any kind of coherence, Tony laughed and stood up. “Don’t worry, Cap, there are plenty more strawberries in the fridge,” he said lightly.

“Oh good,” Steve said, trying not to sound too disappointed.

This was silly, Steve realized. He could try to ignore it or deny it to everyone else, but it was time to come clean to himself at least: he really, really wanted to kiss Tony.

That didn’t have to be so bad, did it? Maybe Tony would even… like it? Maybe he’d actually enjoy kissing Steve?

Except it wasn’t as if Steve had much to offer a guy like Tony. Steve thought, at his lowest moments, that he was nothing more than an outdated relic, and certainly not someone who Futura’s cover star would ever be interested in.

But then… sometimes, Steve would look up and Tony would quickly glance away, as if he’d been looking at him. Almost as if he might enjoy watching Steve.

Something needed to be done. And he was Steve Rogers, man of action, hero of the people and scourge of evildoers everywhere. No more excuses.

He’d walked out of his bedroom and down to Tony’s workshop. Tony was, as usual, half buried beneath a pile of complicated-looking electronics and armor components. He was working on a panel with his tongue stuck out the corner of his mouth in concentration, brow furrowed as he tightened a loose nut with a spanner.

“Hey,” Steve called, trying to sound confident.

“Cap!” Tony sounded genuinely delighted. “Good to see you.”

Tony extricated himself from the electronics and ambled over to Steve. He was wearing loose track pants and an old and somewhat holey tank top, and he had engine oil streaked across his face. He took Steve’s breath away.

“What can I do for you today, Steve-o?” he asked cheerfully. “I’ve been working on this compressor, trying to up the efficiency cause it’s burning through too much power, I’ve changed the fuel intake three times already but it’s still not working so I thought I’d try adjusting the manifold-” And he was off, talking far too fast for Steve to follow but still captivating him with his usual charming enthusiasm.

Without thinking too much, Steve reached out to rub a smudge of dirt off Tony’s cheek. Tony snapped his mouth shut in the middle of his rambling and Steve had a momentary panic. But as he cupped Tony’s cheek, Tony surprised him by leaning into his hand. For a moment, they stood together, Tony’s eyes sliding closed and Steve vibrating with anticipation.

Steve hesitated. What if he was reading this all wrong? The last thing he wanted was to ruin his closest friendship. He paused, the seconds stretching out between them.

And then Tony had pulled away and was back to talking a million miles an hour about what he was working on, eyes barely meeting Steve’s as he bustled around the workshop.

He’d missed his moment again, darn it.

Then there was the gala debacle. It was a intimidatingly swanky benefit for the Maria Stark Foundation, the sort of event which Steve would normally have avoided at all costs. But Tony had invited him to come along, and he’d been so quiet about it, insisting that it was fine if Steve didn’t want to. Steve had never seen Tony sounding so shy, and he was powerless to resist.

So here he was, standing awkwardly by the buffet in a rented tux which didn’t quite fit across his broad shoulders. He’d been doing to best to make small talk with the donors in attendance and to tell them all about the wonderful philanthropic work that Tony did. At least that part was easy to talk about. Perhaps fortunately, a large percentage of the attendees were older women who apparently found Steve rather charming.

“Anthony!” the woman he was talking to called out to Tony when she spotted him across the room, gleaming in a perfectly fitted black tie ensemble. He smiled his best indulgent socialite smile and came over to join them.

“Ethel, dearest, you are as radiant as ever.”

“And you’re as much of a charmer as always, and I love it. Now tell me, Tony dear, where have you been keeping this little gem?” Steve’s new friend pinched his cheek. “He’s just scrumptious!”

Steve blushed and Tony grinned broadly. “That he is,” Tony said. “Steve here has been a wonderful asset to the team.”

Ethel’s raised eyebrow suggested that wasn’t quite what she had meant.

“And he’s been a gem for the Foundation too. You should see him with the kids from the schools program, they can’t get enough.”

“Mmm, I’m sure they’re not the only ones,” Ethel said with a gleam in her eye.

Tony appeared unruffled. “May I steal him from you for a dance?”

“I wouldn’t dream of stopping you. Dance well for me, my darling boys!”

Tony took Steve’s hand and lead him to the dance floor. This was going to be a problem. Steve may have been the mostly highly trained of soldiers and a superhuman athlete, but dancing was quite beyond him.

“Umm, Tony, I’m not sure this is a good idea-” he began.

Tony waved him off. “It’ll be fine. We can’t disappoint Ethel, can we? Here, follow my lead.”

Tony put his other hand around Steve’s waist and stepped a little closer.

Oh.

That was nice.

Tony nodded at Steve’s shocked expression and swayed them back and forth.

“There you go,” he said lightly. Steve let himself be swayed, feeling the slow beat of the music, Tony holding him close as they moved back and forth.

“I knew you’d be good at this,” Tony said, and Steve thought he must have been joking except for the fond expression on his face. He carefully shuffled his feet and let Tony lead.

The warmth of Tony’s hand in his thrummed and the steady rhythm of the music washed over him. The swanky ballroom and the noisy guests all receded into the background, until it might as well have been just him and Tony in the whole world.

Tony gave him one of those soft smiles, the type that were so different from his dazzling press smiles, one of those real smiles that went all the way to his eyes and made his whole face light up. Steve couldn’t help thinking that he’d do just about anything to see Tony smile like that more, and he must have been beaming back at him, and they were holding each other ever so close-

Then, of course, Steve had stepped squarely on Tony’s foot, and Tony had jumped away from him with a yelp.

“Ohmygosh Tony I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Steve could feel the flush rushing across his cheeks.

“No worries,” Tony said with a wry grin, “my toes are still intact. We might need to work some more on your dancing though.”

Steve could have kicked himself. His experience with romance may have been limited, but he was aware that this was not exactly how it was supposed to go.

Steve didn’t like to think about the battlefield incident. It had started with the team taking on a small army of magical sewer monsters, because that was a typical Thursday in New York.

Clint and Natasha were tag teaming a large and angry but not very smart rhino-like monster that was oozing green slime across the sidewalk, while Sam and Thor swept up any of the beasts that were flying on sticky wings. The Hulk was corralling the smaller monsters towards Steve, who was methodically knocking out each one with a firm shield to the skull.

So just your standard Avengers mission.

Tony had zipped off to investigate the source of the beasts, and had called over comms that he’d found the sewer grate where they were spawning.

“Eww.” Tony’s disdain was clear even over the comm channel. “These creatures are definitely mystical in origin. Also, they’re gross and slimy.”

“We noticed that, thanks, Stark.” Natasha’s voice was flat but Steve knew her well enough to hear the fond teasing behind her tone.

“Hmm. There’s a machine here that seems to be powering the portal that’s letting these guys out. I’m going to take it out.”

“Wait a minute,” Steve said over the channel, watching as Tony flew up and hovered in position high above the device. “Don’t you think we ought to investigate before blowing anything up-”

But it was too late. Steve heard the whine of Tony’s repulsors and a beam hit the sewer grate below him. The monsters surrounding them squealed and fizzled into nothingness as the portal collapsed.

Just as they were starting to relax, a burst of green lightning shot out from the collapsing grate and up into the sky with a shuddering crack. There must have been some kind of booby trap on the device, Steve realized. The energy arced across the sky and slammed into Iron Man, and Steve only had time to hear Tony’s shocked “Oh.” before his comms went out.

Steve looked up in dismay as all the lights from Tony’s suit went dead and he plummeted to earth, landing on the sidewalk with a sickening crash.

Steve didn’t even register that he was moving until he was halfway across the battlefield, feet carrying him across the uneven ground towards Tony in huge strides.

“Iron Man!” he yelled. “Status report. Are you okay?”

Tony didn’t reply, and Steve felt his stomach roll with horror.

Steve skidded to a halt by Tony’s side, trying not to imagine the worst as he took in the twisted pieces of armor and the deep crater caused by his impact with the ground.

“Tony!” Steve pushed back a wave of nausea and terror at the sight on Tony unresponsive on the ground and shook him by the shoulders. “Tony, wake up. Tony. Please.”

For a long, hideous moment, nothing happened. Steve felt utter terror roiling within him and burning through it all was the ridiculous, inappropriate thought But I never got to tell him how I feel.

Then, miraculously, Tony stirred beneath him, his fingers twitching against the fractured concrete.

“Ughhh.” Tony sat up with a groan. He pulled off the now depowered helmet and tossed it to the side with a sigh. “That was unpleasant.” He looked grouchy and bruised but whole, and undamaged, and alive.

Steve threw his arms around him, even though he couldn’t quite reach all the way around the armor’s bulky shoulders, and pulled him into a desperate hug.

“Hey,” Tony sounded ever so gentle for someone who had just fallen through the air and smashed into concrete. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

Steve tried not to cry. “I thought. God, Tony, I thought-” He clung to Tony tighter.

Tony stroked a gauntleted hand down his back in comforting circles. “I know. It’s okay.”

Steve realized that he was being ridiculous and tried to pull himself together. He loosened his death grip around Tony and leaned back to give him some air.

“Sorry,” Steve mumbled, feeling guilty for making Tony’s injury all about him and his worries.

“Don’t be,” Tony said, and he was smiling at Steve with a kindness that made his heart hammer in his throat once again. “I’m lucky to have you looking out for me.”

And god, Tony was right here and he was alive and he was smiling and Steve had nearly lost him and now all he wanted was to take Tony’s face in his hands and kiss him and do everything he could to make sure that he was always safe and happy.

But they were in the middle of a battlefield, in front of all their teammates, and Tony was almost certainly suffering from at least some minor injuries that must have been causing him pain. So Steve wrapped him up in another big hug instead.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he murmured into Tony’s neck. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Tony wandered into the kitchen a few days later, hair mussed, pajama pants slung low around his hips, eyes crinkled sleepily, adorable as ever.

“Morning,” he mumbled as he passed Steve, making a beeline for the coffee machine.

“Good morning, beloved,” Steve said warmly. Then, realizing what he’d just said and that he’d admitted his feelings far more than he meant to, he snapped his mouth shut and tried to look casual. Tony probably hadn’t noticed. He was half asleep anyway, right?

Tony poured himself a cup of coffee and took a sip, regarding Steve over the rim of his mug. Steve made an effort not to squirm as Tony eyed him. Even through the haze of morning fog, he had the uncanny feeling that Tony saw right through him.

Tony took another sip of coffee, narrowed his eyes, and placed the cup down on the sideboard with a firm clink.

He strolled over, casual as anything, and stood on the tips of his toes to press a quick kiss to Steve’s lips. Then he smiled at Steve’s stunned expression and went back to preparing breakfast.

Steve’s eyes widened and his heart raced. This was… Tony had…

“Wha?” he managed.

Tony rolled his eyes good naturedly. “I’ve been waiting for you to kiss me for months,” he said and gave a shrug. “I got bored of waiting.”

“You… you kissed me.” Steve was still struggling to wrap his head around what just happened.

“I did,” Tony said with a smile.

“Um. Well. Gosh.” Steve just knew that he was blushing all over. “Do you want to do that again?” he asked in a breathless rush.

Tony rounded on him, backing him up against the kitchen counter until there were only millimeters between them, and grinning like Steve was the most delightful thing in the world. “Very much so.”

And Steve would have panicked at that, would have been freaking out and overthinking everything and fretting about whether this was all just in his imagination - but Tony was right there, warm and soft and sleepy and just a breath away, and every thought other than kissing him flew right out of Steve’s head.

When Steve wrapped one hand around the base of Tony’s neck and hauled him in, their lips met and he could feel Tony smiling against his mouth. Kissing Tony turned out to be even better than he had imagined, all gentle and delicate but promising ever so much more. 

Tony tasted like coffee and home, and for once Steve felt like he was right where he was supposed to be.

#stevetony #stony #avengers assemble #marvel #my writing #i love pining steve so much you guys

[ahighwaychild]

Six Week Summer

Priya was filled with a sinking feeling at the thought of the upcoming school summer holidays. Charlotte, her comfort blanket, was heading off to America again for the whole six weeks to see her dad, leaving Priya feeling pretty empty. Over the years, Priya had attempted to establish new friendships which sadly never materialised.

Classified as a nerd by her schoolmates. Priya’s thick black hair was always tied back. Her mother, Karishma had let her choose what glasses she wanted to wear, an oval tortoiseshell design would do. Delilah told Priya that her mum had laser eye surgery so she didn’t have to be a ‘four eyes’ anymore. Priya didn’t care about her appearance much, she only became aware of it when the other girls made comments, some of which she thought were quite mean but chose to ignore. 

Priya and Charlotte were of the same ilk, neither were overly obsessed with taking selfies and publishing their every move on Snapchat or Instagram. They had bonded over Call of Duty and Fortnite. They would stay up late and talk for hours before eventually falling asleep on the phone. Priya accepted her geek appellation, it didn’t bother her, she loved science podcasts, listening to people's stories on desert island discs and rereading Harry Potter for the umpteenth time. What did bother Priya was that Charlotte was the only person that actually liked Priya and accepted her authentic self. What troubled her even more was that in Charlotte’s absence, Priya felt like she had no one.

*

It was the last day of Year Nine at Howard Hogarth School. HH to those in the know. Three hours left until the summer holidays officially began. It was a daunting prospect for Priya. Finding herself in the same friendless predicament last summer, she had pledged to herself that she would make more friends the following school year. 

At the beginning of Year Nine, Priya had signed herself up to after school dance classes, not that she actually enjoyed dancing.  Karishma had encouraged her to try something new and make some nice friends who aren’t only interested in online games. That’s weird, I didn’t know you were into dancing, Charlotte had commented. Neither did I, Priya sighed.

Priya dragged her feet somewhat as the other girls excitedly hurried towards the gymnasium. Anxious butterflies had begun to swarm inside her stomach, she had asked them to leave but it seemed as though they had made themselves at home. Miss Hanson hadn’t arrived yet, Priya found herself nervously looking around at the attendees, they were chatting and laughing, completely oblivious to Priya’s internal turmoil. 

She took a deep breath, pushed her chest forward and headed towards the least scary looking group of girls.

‘Oh...hey.’ Priya stuttered, her stomach now doing infinite somersaults. ‘Do, do you know when Miss will be here?’

‘She’s probably running late. Probs five minutes or something.’ The girl with curly blonde hair nonchalantly told Priya before returning to her conversation.

‘Oh...cool. What kind of dance is it today?’

‘It’s ballet.’ The girl with thick eyeliner and even thicker stencilled on eyebrows said before the group burst out laughing.

‘I mean, I mean, I know it’s modern but what routine?’ Priya felt her cheeks flushing, she hoped they wouldn’t notice.

‘We’re doing it to Dua Lipa, you know who that is right?’ The girl asked, raising her thick arched eyebrow to the ceiling.

‘Yeah, yeah course I do. Oh, that sounds cool, that will be good then.’ Priya pretended that she knew when really she wasn’t even sure what they had said.

Priya had somehow wiggled her way into their circle. It would be fair to say, they all equally felt uncomfortable with this new addition. Priya saw the girls elbowing each other, mouthing something she couldn’t make out. 

‘Sorry, what’s your name?’ The girl with a purple tongue piercing asked Priya.

‘Erm, Priya.’

‘Priya, do you mind giving us some space? We’re talking about something private hun.’ The purple gem in her mouth bounced up and down.

‘Yeah, course, no worries.’ Priya edged out of their circle. ‘See ya in a bit.’

Priya scanned the remainder of the class. She couldn’t put herself through that again. That two minute conversation had felt like a lifetime. Now, I’ll be the butt of their jokes, Priya thought, annoyed at herself for being so lame. 

Priya sat in front of the tall mirrors in the gymnasium. She started stretching to busy herself even though she wasn’t really sure what she was doing. She found herself staring at the huddles of friendship circles in the reflection, it made her feel overly conscious of her loner status. She began biting her nails anxiously as her nerves picked up pace. 

Finally, a smiley, vivacious Miss Hanson entered the room, welcoming the newbie Priya to the group. Priya’s face became red with embarrassment as the spotlight was placed on her. That was the last time she went to dance class.

*

‘Do you have to go?’ Priya asked Charlotte, hoping she would change her mind.

‘Priya, it’s the only time I get to see my dad and my other brothers and sisters.’ Charlotte explained, unpacking the contents of her locker into a large black tote she had borrowed from her mum.

Priya didn’t understand how Charlotte would rather see her dad and her other siblings than spend the whole summer having fun with her. 

‘Okay, I understand.’ Priya lied. ‘Just going to miss you a lot you know.’

‘I know. Me too. Come out to see me?’

‘My dad would never let me! He’s a control freak. He just about lets me go to school.’ Priya complained, secretly wishing she could sneak into Charlotte’s suitcase.

‘Fair enough. I’ll be back before you know it. We’ll still talk everyday, it’s not like I’m going to another planet.’ Charlotte tried to placate her.

‘I suppose.’ Priya conceded.

‘You should go to Zain’s party next week. Apparently, he’s got a pool.’

‘Has he? Anyway, I can’t go by myself.’

‘How will you be by yourself? Everyone will be there?’

Charlotte was more outgoing than Priya and had a wider circle of friends. Priya wished she could be as likable as her, she didn’t know how. Sometimes, she had tried to act more like Charlotte but it had left her feeling uncomfortable. 

‘You’re right. Maybe I’ll go.’

‘You might make lots of friends there.’

‘Maybe.’

*

‘Priya, you’re going. I don’t want to hear it. Car. Now.’

‘Mum, no, please. There’s no point me going. No one wants me there.’

‘Three - two - one.’ Karishma began. ‘ Priya, if you’re not going then I’m taking the PlayStation away for a week. No phone either. If you’re okay with that, then it’s fine by me.’

‘Fine, I’ll go.’ Priya stormed out the front door.

Week one of the summer holidays was nearly over. Priya had mainly spent the week in her room. Her older brother Ajay had taken her out several times under strict instructions from Karishma. Ajay argued he wasn’t Priya’s babysitter and she should find her own friends. 

Priya thought of her idyllic summer. Blue skies in the company of a baking sun, who shines her rays across the land. Buying strawberry milkshakes, then spilling them and searching for a napkin. Sneaking into central London to sit on the fountains of Trafalgar Square, splashing the water on your friends to cool off. Finishing the day by walking through the cobbled streets of Covent Garden, being careful not to twist an ankle by peeking into the boutique retro shops along the way. Despite what anyone else might think, Priya loved summer, the outdoors was calling her but she wasn’t brave enough to answer it, alone.

Priya was filled with rage as she sat in the car next to her mum. Her arms were tightly crossed, she stared out the window to avoid any eye contact with Karishma. She didn’t want to go to Zain’s party but simultaneously she couldn’t bear to have her electronics confiscated. 

Playing out different scenarios of her classmates questioning how her holidays had been so far made her stomach flip. Priya had nothing to say, no one would be impressed that her brother had begrudgingly taken her to the cinema. I’ll have to make something up, she concluded. Priya quickly began thinking of cool things she could say, creating fake friends. Maybe then her classmates would think she was just like them. 

‘I like your dress Priya.’ Karishma said, trying to make conversation but also noticing the rarity of seeing her daughter in something other than jeans.

‘Yeah whatever.’ Priya felt silly wearing Charlotte’s yellow cotton dress but Charlotte had insisted that Priya borrow it for the party.

‘Priya, honey. Listen to me, you can’t have this attitude that no one likes you. If you think that’s true it will become true. What’s not to like about you? You’re intelligent, funny, beautiful.’ Karishma said, reaching out her hand to pat Priya’s knee.

‘I’m none of those things.’ Priya pushed her hand away to the steering wheel.

‘Priya, of course you are. Stop saying this silliness because that’s all it is. Silly! If anyone doesn’t like you then they’re jealous. You need to be more confident.’

‘Whatever, you just say that because you’re my mum and you have to.’

‘I only say that because it’s the truth. My silly girl. You’ll have a good time today. I know it.’

‘Oh my god, you’re so annoying. Whatever.’

‘Priya.’ Karishma said sternly.

‘Wait outside for fifteen minutes okay? I’m gonna go in. I’m gonna try. If it’s terrible then I wanna go. So wait for me. Fair?’ Priya struck a deal with Karishma.

‘Fair.’ They shook hands.

*

‘Mum, please, this is a bad idea.’

‘The only bad idea is you not going in.’

‘You can take all my stuff away. I honestly don’t care.’ Priya pleaded.

‘Priya, do you want to spend the whole summer by yourself? Ajay can’t be there all the time. Neither can I.’

‘I don’t need you there. I’m fine by myself.’

‘Fine but not great. I want to see you having fun this summer. Please, my girl.’ 

Priya rolled her eyes, grabbed Zain’s gift from the backseat and reluctantly ventured towards the party. The music vibrated through her more with every step she took, she hated it. Her stomach was in knots. As Priya pulled open the gates to Zain’s house, she suddenly realised how enormous it was. It reminded her of the white house in America, a slightly scaled down version. A myriad of splashes, screams and voices became clearer as she approached. Priya noticed multicoloured balloons tied to the backdoor, she pushed it gently, peering in curiously at the mass crowd. 

Priya cautiously stepped inside, she saw people diving into a huge opulent swimming pool. Priya hadn’t brought a bikini, she didn’t want everyone to stare at her and make jokes like they usually did. She recognised most of the kids there from her school, there were unfamiliar faces too. Maybe they’re friendly, Priya contemplated. She strolled around the party, smiling at anyone that caught her eye. I must be invisible, Priya resolved, having not been acknowledged by a soul.

‘Oh hey Zain, this is for you.’ Priya said, handing Zain a glittery gold bag.

‘Cheers P!’ Zain said, his soaking wet hand accepting the bag abruptly before throwing it to the side and bombing into the pool, splashing everyone on the sidelines.

Priya checked her phone. Ten minutes had passed. She didn’t have long before Karishma would leave, she decided to make a real attempt at this friend thing.

‘Hey!’ Priya said, approaching a group of girls in bright neon bikinis who were crowded around the buffet.

The girls raised their eyebrows at Priya before giggling and dispersing. 

Three minutes left. She had tried her best to make friends but she couldn’t face any more rejection. Rushing out the party, she let the backdoor slam behind her, almost tripping as there was a girl sitting on the back step.

‘Oh my god I’m so sorry!’ Priya apologised.

‘That’s okay, I probably shouldn’t be sitting here.’ The girl said, rubbing her back.

‘I shouldn’t be running like an idiot.’ 

‘What’s your name?’

‘Priya, you?’ 

‘Lai. Nice to meet you?’ Lai smiled.

‘D’you go to HH?’ Priya didn’t recognise Lai but thought she might have been in a different year. Priya thought that Lai was very naturally pretty, she had gentle delicate features and a warm welcoming smile.

Priya noticed Karishma flashing her headlights, she signalled at her to wait for five minutes. She perched next to Lai as they exchanged anecdotes. They were both escapees of the party. Priya was delighted to find out that Lai was a gamer too, they had swapped usernames straight away. 

‘Sorry Priya, were you leaving? I don’t mean to keep you.’ Lai said, realising Priya’s mum was waiting in the near distance.

‘That’s okay, I think I’m gonna stay.’ Priya said, waving goodbye to Karishma. 

An hour later, after fits of giggles and endless conversation, the pair agreed to return back into the party.

‘It is summer, after all.’ Priya smiled. 

#short story #summer #story #love

[trumpetnista]

CMW2/Trumpetnista: Draftbook Drabble 40 (Follow up to #7- Canon Corrector AU, Defiance, Olivia, Mellie, mentions of Fitz, FTGIV and Karen, Cyrus, Verna, Hollis, strong happy Olitz, common sense and karma prevails, What the actual fuck is a Mellivia? Seriously, what?)

Words from the Gladiator in a Hoodie: All right, so with the whole “Mellivia” “friendship” and "feminist alliance means forgiveness no matter what because all men are the Devil so we ruined our own lives and blame all men, especially Fitz for our misery" idea that SR has been shoving down our throats and up our asses since 5B, I would like to write a fic where the truth about them is fully in play. 

If there was any true common sense left in SCANDAL’s writer’s room, not only would Liv & Fitz actually be happy solo and as Olitz, OLIVIA AND MELLIE WOULD NEVER, EVER, EV-ER BE BESTIES. They would be civil for the sake of the kids and for the sake of Fitz (at least Liv would be) but actual besties? Hell, no! 

Who the fuck actually becomes besties with a person who helped demean you and took advantage of you? What idiocy made that possible? Well, the almighty POWER and “feminism” made it possible and this...this fic and any other fic I write nowadays is a protest. 

More chapter updates are on the way and I’ll return to one of the other D.D. plot lines (most likely the first Trail AU I started in D.D. #1) soon. Enjoy the latest. Mad Love, Jam, and Power Drills,  ~*Trumpetnista*~

Disclaimer: “Honestly, it’s not mine!”

Excerpt from Draftbook Drabble #7...

"…this was the dramatic scene two nights ago outside the Martin Plaza Hotel where the Grant Campaign had set up base. Millicent 'Mellie' Grant nee Vaughn, Cyrus Beene, Verna Thornton, and well known oil tycoon Hollis Doyle were all arrested under charges of conspiracy to commit voter fraud in Defiance County, Ohio…"

"Cytron Electronics has removed the machines…complete redesign…"

"…Olivia Pope…infiltrated the ranks of the DC4 Conspirators and turned over approximately 185 hours of audio. Individual conversations, recorded phone conversations, and roundtable meeting were given to the AUSA, along with a 2 hour and 45 minute videotaped deposition…"

"…Governor Grant filing for divorce and full custody of the children…"

"…modern day Watergate…the Governor himself was not involved but he has issued a statement saying that he will be turning the position of California Governor over to Lt. Governor Andrew Nichols and that he is throwing his support to Sally Langston to represent the Republican Party against Samuel Reston in the upcoming election in November. He also implied that we may be seeing him on the Trail again in 2016…"

"…but why, though? Other than the illegality, why? Why would Olivia Pope put herself in danger of prosecution or being silenced by the others to get the footage? What was her personal motivation? What did she get out of it and just where in the world is Olivia Pope, now?"

"…disgraceful…utterly disgraceful…a slap in the face to all American voters…they should all rot..."

"…got a sista digging up the dirt and shuttin' all of those crooked bitches down…I love it! Go 'head, girl…"

"Mellie got 8 years. Hollis and Cyrus got 15. Verna also got 8 but apparently, the old broad's chock full of terminal lung and bone cancer so they'll probably put her in a hospice someplace after a year, if she makes it to a year, anyway."

"All's well that ends well. They're where they belong..."

"...you say that we betrayed Fitz and we did but you…I still can't believe you, Liv! You set all of us up! You stabbed us in the back, stabbed me in the back!"

"I was just following your life lesson, Cyrus. You drilled it into our heads in class that loyalty and ambition don't mix. You always said that it's good to have friends, even close friends but when the cards are down, you have to be prepared to cope with stabs to the back and you also have to be ready and willing with a knife of your own at all times. The last time we spoke, you said that we were with Fitz's camp to carve Judases and protect him. That's exactly what I did and I will not apologize to anyone for it, not even God. You, Hollis, Mellie, and Verna put yourselves in prison. You're sitting in front of me in that ugly orange jumpsuit, chained to this table because of you, not me..."

"...you're a whore! You were his mistress, his dirty little whore!"

"But unlike you, I'm not a convicted felon. Unlike you, I can leave here at any time and please get off of your high horse, you hypocritical cow. You didn't have a problem at all with anything going on between Fitz and I until you realized that the position your Daddy paid your way into was in serious jeopardy. I don't understand you. You had a good man. You had one of the best men that you could ever have and all you had to do to keep him was love him for him. That's all. And do you want to know what pisses me off about you the most? You could've been anything. Even if you and Fitz had never met, you could've been someone else's First Lady and a good one. You could've been a Representative, a Senator, a Chief of Staff…hell, with the right spin, you could've even been the first female President of the United States! You could've been anything! You should've been anything! You had opportunities, privilege, and potential all your life that many women would kill for just to have for a day! You could've done anything with your life but instead, you willingly got into a political merger, lowered yourself into being into an arranged, loveless marriage and for what? This? Was it worth it, Mellie? Was it? Answer me. You asked for this visit and you never shut up on The Trail. Don't be quiet now that you're the Belle of the Ball and Chain…"

"…you fucking bitch! How dare you?!"

"I dare because you let me, just like you let me take your husband. And I take bitch as a compliment nowadays. It's a badge of honor and you were right. I was bluffing just now. I know Karen is Fitz's but the Public…a rumor can get very out of hand very quickly and if you can conspire to steal a National Election, it's not too big a leap for people to think that you would screw his blood brother since Pre-K and pass the lovechild off as his to keep him under your thumb. Yes, I slept with Fitz while he was still married. I also fell in love with him and he loves me back. If that makes me a whore, if that makes him a whore, then so be it. We'll be happy and free whores together. But, Mellie? She who lives in glass houses should not be naked on her knees…and she who lives 24/7/365 in a 12x8 concrete cell should be a good little girl and pay her debt to society quietly so that she can have a shot of having a nice future far, far away from her ex-husband and the woman who really loves him after she gets out..."

"You did this when Cyrus got out. You picked him up."

"I did."

"And you went to Verna and Hollis' funerals."

"I did."

"Why?"

"I don't like leaving things unfinished."

"You say that but your ring finger still looks pretty unfinished, don't you think?"

"Fitz doesn't want to get married again until he's absolutely sure that he'd be a good husband. I have you to thank for that. There's a diner coming up. Do you want me to stop?"

"...sure."

After 8 years behind bars, Mellie Vaughn was a shadow of the woman Olivia Pope had met on the 2007 Trail. She had lost about 15 pounds, her skin was a near ghostly pale, and there were dark circles under the woman's bloodshot blue eyes. Instead of the designer ensembles she had become known for before being arrested, she was in a pair of jeans and a large black sweatshirt that was large enough to fit her ex-husband easily, along with prison issue sandals. Her dark mahogany hair was streaked with gray, thrown into a messy ponytail and she had on a pair of white horn-rimmed glasses. All of her worldly possessions fit in 2 bags and a shoebox, a very far cry from the luxurious lifestyle she had enjoyed as a politician's wife.

The biggest difference was in the other woman's body language.

Olivia would've never associated the word 'meek' with Mellie before everything went down but today? That was the best word to describe her, other than just bone tired. Even the venom she spat was weighed down with exhaustion. Getting to the diner, they settled into a back booth and soon, Mellie was devouring a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Olivia stuck with a mug of chamomile tea, having eaten before leaving for the prison. It was a very early Saturday morning, barely past dawn so the diner was basically deserted.

Hopefully, that wouldn't change before they got back on the road.

The last thing either one wanted to deal with was the Media...

"How...how are the kids?"

"They're doing just fine. Gerry's going into his 3rd year at Davis, 1st in his class. He's right on track to be a veterinarian. He wants to open his own practice, either in Santa Barbara or in Rutland to be closer to me and Fitz. He's not sure yet. "

"He's always loved animals. Him and Karen...how...how's she doing?"

"She's a Junior, 1st in her class. Harvard already sent her some information but she wants to go to Julliard. She's deep into musical theater, pit orchestra, choreography. She either wants to join a troupe or become a conductor. She'll probably conduct. She was a drum major for marching band this season and she loved it so...we'll see."

"...and Fitz? How's he doing?"

"He's still Professor G at Georgetown. He just got tenure and he'll have a spot on the director's board once winter semester starts up."

"He's happy?"

"Yeah."

"...good...I'm glad that he's happy."

"Are you really?"

Mellie chuckled bitterly and replied, "I don't have a choice but to be happy for him. It's not like I didn't do this to myself. Sure, you helped but...I was wrong. All of us were wrong. Fitz had what it took. We didn't need Defiance. Even if he lost, after 4 years of Langston's nonsense, he would've been seen as America's salvation and swept the 2012 Race. Reston...Reston wouldn't have gotten 2 Terms or even one."

"I tried to tell you guys."

"You did...the Great Olivia Pope knows all...god, we were so fucking stupid. All we had to do was just let things be but no... well, karma's a bitch, huh? I'm an ex-con and considered to be one of the biggest traitors to democracy. You and Fitz are one of America's great love stories. Verna's dead from like 10 types of cancer. Hollis made himself into a lovely chandelier before he did a year behind bars and last I heard, Cyrus is a... goat farmer in Oklahoma?"

"Alpacas and donkeys, actually. He's really good at it."

"Well, he's always been an ass."

Olivia laughed and Mellie's smile was genuine, sad but genuine.

"Daddy says that I can come home once I get the tether off of me after the halfway house . I'm surprised that he didn't disown me. Everyone kept telling him to but he didn't. He wrote me letters, sent me pictures, and made sure that my commissary account was always full."

"That's a good thing. You shouldn't be all alone."

"I shouldn't?"

"No, you really shouldn't."

"...this would be so much easier if you'd just be a bitch to me."

"Easier, maybe but not right. Regardless of the history between us, inside and outside of Fitz, you are Gerry and Karen's mom and they still love you very much, even though they're hurt. Being a bitch to you without just provocation would hurt them and Fitz and that is the last thing that I want to do."

"He's very lucky to have you."

"He is and I'm very lucky to have him."

"At least something good came from all of this shit...do they have fried chicken here? I have been jonesing for some fried chicken."

"Yeah, you want to split some?"

"...that would be great."

#SUCK MY FUCK CANON! #FUCK A MELLIVIA SON! #...really? #faux feminist bullshit! #canon corrector AU #Defiance AU #SIT. DOWN. MELLIE! #olivia pope #scandal #scandal abc #scandal fanfic #draftbook drabbles #trumpetnista #cmw2 #scandal season 7 #SCANDAL'S LAST SEASON! #FUCK YOU TOO SHONDA! #UGH. #SINCE SHONDA WON'T DO RIGHT I WILL!

[neogandw]

NOW IF YOU ALLOW ME TO SHILL FOR A MINUTE HERE.

Presenting one of my favorite steam games, now entirely free to play, AWESOMENAUTS.

Ever felt like playing a MOBA-like game, but felt intimidated by steep learning curves, memorizing meta builds, going for optimal strategies and just plain affraid of being shouted at by your team mates because you didn't go for that specific thing at that specific time and now the entire base is on fire because of your blunder?

Yeah, me too, DOTA and LoL are great, but sometimes one does not feel like dealing with that ammount of preassure, for people like me who prefer their games simple, fast paced and chaotic, boy do i got the game for you.

GAMEPLAY

Awesomenauts prides itself on being a simplistic MOBA style game, in fact, its not even traditional in that sense, as it prefers another approach: if you are fan of megaman-like games you'll find this one great, because the gameplay is very much jump and shoot style 2D platformer gameplay!

As it is a team based 3v3 game, you can join up with random people online or friends to duke it out in splitscreen, online or even against bots, you are not limited on how you want to play your game, even giving you power to edit the configurations of the private matches if you so desire: want to give everyone all the upgrades at once? would you prefer for an infinity of creeps to fill the battlefield? how about a random character per death? the choice is yours to take.

It is also very simple to learn, you don't need to learn the meta mindset of advanced players to play the game, as the shop system only requires you to pick your 3 favorite upgrades -tailored to each specific character- for each of your abilities, and these abilities take effect not by numbers, but by altering the functionality of their abilities to your favor: want bouncing dynamite sticks? slowdown on top of healing? a faster shooty gun or a stronger shooty gun? Big double buzzaws that cause a slowdown on the enemy? You got them.

STORY

The game is also filled to brim with lore, though unlike most games out there, the lore of the awesomenauts is mostly a comedic epic, the game is self-stylized like a 90's cartoon where everything was build to be incredibly awesome.

In awesomenauts, you control the titular squad, a ragtag bunch of misfit aliens from across the galaxy, each one with a reason to fight:

“Riding his combat walker onto the battlefield, comes Derpl Zork. The nephew of Blabl Zork, president of Zork industries. Derpl Zork lacks his uncle's business-smarts. In fact he lacks any kind of smarts, managing to get his IQ rated under the level of plankton in the official galaxial IQ test.

Nevertheless Derpl is the heir apparent to Blabl's galaxy-spanning business empire. This is something that doesn't sit well with Blabl, not well at all. Dreading the day Derpl would inherit the company and run all the hardfought accomplishments into the ground, Blabl put Derpl in charge of fieldtesting the new Specialized Universal Secretary Interface (S.U.S.I. for short) in one of Zork Industries' combat walkers. Asking Derpl what form of devastation should be issued forth from his vehicle of destruction he simply drooled and said: "I wuv cats!"

Now Blabl is anxiously awaiting the day that Derpl would suffer a fatal blow on the fields of battle but as of yet Derpl's combat walker has proven to keep making up for its dimwitted driver. “

”Once part of the soviet space program, Yuri was a monkey, experimentally shot into space during the 1960's cold war spacerace. Mysteriously, monitoring soviet scientists suddenly lost track of monkey Yuri's spacecraft.

Puzzled by its sudden disappearence, Soviet space-command wondered what had become of their beloved test-pet Yuri. Little did they know that Yuri's spacecraft had entered a warpfield anomaly and was transported hundreds of years into the future!

Also, the warpfield's radiation boosted Yuri's mind to superintelligent levels. The new, more intelligent, mad and slightly sadistic Yuri quickly grasped the situation and modified his broken rocket into an equally mad timetravelling supercomputer jetpack.

With the jetpack translating everything Yuri says and does, enemies are never quite sure who is in control, the mad scientist monkey, or the computer it created? “

“Ted McPain was one of the great heroes of the first AI Wars, a long time ago. He has led his squad of elite super soldiers, the Killer Koala’s, against many opponents and has been decorated as an outstanding soldier a hundred times over. His ultimate achievement, during the climax of the First AI Wars, was a solo operation onto the AI’s battle station Starstorm. This mission ended in Ted McPain single handedly unhinging all of the station’s crucial power couplings, effectively making sure the station wouldn’t be completed before the end of the war. Ted McPain eventually died when he sacrificed himself to save the Sunny-Daisy Alien Orphanage from a band of bloodthirsty dinosaur zombies in 3021. Ted’s heroic deeds would never be forgotten.

He lived on as he became the star of various video games: Ted McPain I through XVII, Ted McPain: Zombie Blast, Ted McPain vs. evil Ted McPain and Ted McPain Unicorn Dance Karting.

When Voltar The Omniscient learned of the violent dimwitted video game star, he brewed up a plan that would backfire horribly. He created the Materializotron XT8000 with which he wanted to bring back the war hero of old to be his personal assistant. Extracting Ted McPain’s digital essence from his video games, Voltar managed to materialize a life-size flesh and blood version. The Ted McPain that appeared though was missing his pants for unknown reasons. Voltar waved the issue aside saying “Stop asking stupid questions! He looks fine to me.”

“Yoolip has been a scientist for the greater part of his life on the transistor planet Calias. Creating wondrous inventions and contraptions like the dog aura reader, the nightmare-to-VHS recorder, the random number phone, the cereal-to-milk ratio calculator and an actual time machine. One day after combining the time machine into some comfy slippers, he teleported to the Mesozoic era and found himself surrounded by some scientist hungry velociraptors.

Barely escaping the predators he lost one of his slippers. Being stuck in time he spent years to craft a new slipper to travel forward in time to return to his beloved granddaughter, Ayla. He joined the Awesomenauts team to finally spend some quality time with her and eat some over-engineered pancakes. “

This is a game that does not even attempt to take itself seriously, as the characters will crack a joke or a reference in the middle of battle to your ears' delight.

MUSIC

speaking of ears, how about checking out the sweet tunes of the awesomenauts?

Extended Theme Song

8-bit Yoolip

Electronic Supersonic Cybertronic Rocco

Ted McPain's Theme

I'll make you a star

Nibb's Killing Spree

Sentry's Killing Spree Theme

Deadlift's Killing Spree

Eye of Aguillon

Chucho Krokk’s Killing Spree

Lonestar’s Killing Spree

Raelynn's Killing Spree

FREE TO PLAY? MORE LIKE FREE TO PAY AM I RIGHT

Actually no, awesomenauts's Free to Play system is actually very simple, similar to other MOBAS of its kind it uses the standard 3 hero rotation, but a a bonus, you can try all of the characters in full whenever you want against bots, see who you like from the get-go and decide who you want to buy next.

Adding on to that, the game gives you the in-game currency by doing what you do best: play the game, and it doesn't even have to be vs online opponents, you can just pop it in with 3 of your friends (or even alone if you're lonely) and fight against an enemy team of bots, win experience for your characters to unlock their upgrades and songs, and parts to obtain cosmetic upgrades.

The only real aspect that requires money is merely cosmetic: costumes for each character that are simply visual, add voice lines or change their theme songs.

The things that matter can be obtained through gameplay alone, but one can opt to buy the all nauts pack on steam, this merely unlocks all the nauts to be played at any time though, not their upgrades, which require XP.

But if you get the game on steam and use one of the following codes (don't worry, they can be used up to 50 times each)

WVHE-9CLM-9KPH 9MQT-3JS7-NMCR CHCP-3HHX-X5Q5

You'll get a character entirely for free: the elite sniper raelynn.

These codes can be obtained if you play the game long enough, if you use your own code to invite people, their achievements give you loot too, free loot for everyone!

So feel free to jump into the action, there is nothing to lose and tons of fun (and salt or memes) to be had, bring your friends, bring your friend's friends, bring your grandma even.

It's time to get awesome!

#awesomenauts #free to play #get it now

[auskultu]

Yardbird Jimmy Page says, 'Open Your Mind'

Hit Parader magazine: WHEN YOU were a session man, were you playing bass or lead guitar?

Jim: Lead guitar.

HP: Was it difficult to switch to bass when you joined the Yardbirds?

Jim: It was at first because I tended to play it like a guitar. With the bass you just play a sort of root thing. I was just leaping around all over the place with great speed and I had to stop doing that. I managed to simplify it. But at first I was playing far too quickly.

HP: I read somewhere that you were going to play lead soon?

Jim: I already have because Jeff was taken ill. Chris took over bass.

HP: Who were some of the other people you have accompanied?

Jim: Them, the Kinks, Georgie Fame, I did some stuff for the Rolling Stones. Actually, we just did a lot of things for fun for Andrew Oldham. In fact, it really was good fun. But I've never been on any of their records. I was on the Who stuff. Petula Clark, P.J. Proby. Nearly everybody who didn't have their own backup group.

HP: How would you describe your style of guitar playing?

Jim: My style has always been very similar to Jeff Beck's. We knew each other for about 9 years. We've always liked the same music and we had the same tastes. As a result, it's been quite easy to fill in for him. When we get the two lead guitars going, it should be pretty good. Because it'll be like two identical people playing together.

HP: What's your opinion of the Paul Butterfield Blues Band?

Jim: I haven't seen them live. But their album is pretty good. As a harp player, Butterfield is really great. He's better than anybody in England. Lots of people speak of Mike Bloomfield, but there are a lot of guys in England who play that stuff.

HP: Beck is an excellent guitarist, but why isn't more of his solo work heard on records?

Jim: How far can you go? We've been told our latest album is too far advanced. There's too much electronic stuff on it. But I think it's all basic. We cut a single with Jeff. It's a Bolero thing. It's very exciting and strange. It's either going to be a monster or a bomb. It's an instrumental based on the classical Bolero piece. Beck's guitar-playing is exploited quite a bit there. But how much can you do that the public will accept? You either make a commercial record or a musicians' record. You've got to draw the line somewhere.

HP: Are there some good blues bands in England?

Jim: There's one called John Mayall's Blues Breakers. Mayall himself is terrible. And then Eric Clapton is good, but he's in the Mike Bloomfield bag, and that's that. And there are lots of good guitarists in minor bands.

HP: Would you say blues is still a big rage in England?

Jim: No, not really. It's still got a market; it's the same thing as in America.

HP: Are you basically a blues guitarist?

Jim: Before the Indian thing was exploited, everyone said I played like an Indian. Mainly because I was interested in the music so many years back. I had the albums and I sent to India for a sitar. I had one long before George Harrison. I tried to learn the actual classical music. It's very difficult. There are so many sides to it. I tried to adapt that to my guitar playing.

HP: Why have musicians latched on to these Indian sounds?

Jim: Because it's so esoteric. Everybody thinks they understand. They get a new sound and they say this is it. But really, they don't know what's going on, I'm sure. I've heard people in groups playing sitars and they don't know what's going on. They don't even tune them up right. Apparently, George Harrison has become deeply interested in it. He plays a sitar on their new album and he was getting along very well. People like Brian Jones just got it for the one record and I doubt if they'll ever use it again.

HP: There are a lot of Indians living in London, aren't there?

Jim: Yes, there are quite a few. Strangely enough, when you speak to them of Indian music, they don't seem to know anything about it. The only thing they know is the western music or the Indian film music, which is completely different from the classical. When you ask them about it, they recommend you to the Asian society or something. I met Ravi Shankar and that's how I got my information on how to tune up the sitar.

HP: Will you be writing material for the Yardbirds now?

Jim: With them, not for them. When one of us has an idea, we all chip in on it until it's finished. I wasn't on the last two, but 'Shapes of Things' and 'Over, Under, Sideways, Down' were all made up in the studio.

HP: What kind of equipment do you use?

Jim: When Chris is on rhythm guitar, we use any old amplifier because it isn't that important, but on bass we have a big set-up with 2 or 3 speakers.

On this tour, we've been given Jordan equipment. It's all transistorized equipment. We're sort of experimenting with it. It hasn't worked out properly on the lead guitars. But it's been sufficient on the bass. On bass, we've got 6 speakers to 8 speakers. In England I've been using a Showman Fender amplifier. And a Fender concert amp which is a smaller one with 4 ten-inch speakers. I link them up together so I get double the power. Through one you get the bass frequencies and through the other I use feedback and the treble frequencies. This is about the best set-up I've had so far. But Jordan is working on some new equipment which should prove to be great. I play a Gibson Les Paul guitar, Chris has an Epiphone bass and there's another Gibson floating around. Eventually, it will be all Gibson because we bought them and never bothered to change them. They're quite adequate.

HP: How did you finally end up with the equipment you've got now?

Jim: We just worked on it. I've been playing guitar for a few years now and I just work on this certain line. You do as best you can. The only problem being we blow up quite a few amps. We did one show and I had 4 amplifiers all linked up. It must have been about 400 watts all together. Those were Vox amps. They just can't take the volume. The speakers blow and then you don't get any sound at all. The Jordan ones didn't blow up, but they don't have enough volume. I've never broken a guitar, but I've been through nearly every make. I've never found a guitar which is exactly what I want. At the moment, I'm happy with this Gibson. I've also got a Fender Telecaster. I find every guitar's got a sound of its own and you can use them all and get something out of them. I haven't used the Telecaster on stage yet. Actually, all my guitars are in England because I came over playing bass. I switched to Jeff's guitar. His is very close to mine because they're both Les Paul models. Normally, we all travel by plane and the equipment goes by van. We have two road managers, one for the equipment and one for us.

HP: Have you found a big difference in British youth and American youth?

Jim: The Americans are a little more narrow-minded. The English, at the moment, are completely broad-minded. This wasn't the original concept of the English, was it? You can shock people in America very easily. If people are shocked, that's their bad luck. They should open their minds. In England, you could walk around in the nude and you wouldn't shock anyone. They'd think you should be put away, but they wouldn't beat the guts out of you. Also, the age of consent is 16. You can marry at 16. The attitude over there is completely free, just like the attitude toward clothes.

HP: Are you really that concerned about how you look?

Jim: I'm not really concerned with clothes. People put that on my shoulders. In actual fact, I'm pleased to see people walking around in outrageous things. They're throwing off the chains of a society that was. It's probably making England completely decadent, but so what. Billy Graham was just over there in England and if you walked around with him, you'd have seen it look all pretty decadent. I'd have to agree. He didn't make any impact at all. Actually, it's a forecast of the end of society. But I don't care because I'll be dead before it ends. If we've come this far in five years, it should really be something in another five. I'd like the new society to be a peaceful one but it won't be, because violence seems to be the answer to every problem. Every fringe society must be experiencing this. We walk around with long hair and someone shouts something, so you give them an answer back which is a little sharp and which they don't quite expect. Then they can't give you an answer, so they come to fists. What sort of mentality is that? I can't argue with a person like that.

It must be terrible for someone to have to fight in a war. I haven't had to think about wars. It's just something I haven't had to contend with, really, I hadn't realized what a big problem it is. I've just seen the horrors of it.

HP: Well, England doesn't have any big thing going now.

Jim: No, this is it. We have no conscription whatsoever. I'll never be drafted or anything.

HP: They won't send you over to Africa to beat up some people or anything?

Jim: Well, they don't do this. People wouldn't do this. If they had a mass conscription now, I dread thinking how many people would go. Because it would only be 40% of those who would have gone before they dropped conscription. People don't want to know about it anymore. They think, well, why should I waste two years of my life and probably lose my life in the process. They just don't want to know anymore.

They've got a regular army where you join and you jet paid every week for doing it. And you just do maneuvers and things.

HP: They have that here, too!

Jim: Yeah, sure, but yours is more of a reality because they get drafted over to Viet Nam. Basically, I must be a coward, but I just couldn't shoot someone. I guess it's different if they're looking at you with a gun and you're looking at them with a gun. You'd have to do it, though. I'd just be violently sick afterwards. I'd never forgive myself, anyway. I'm not the sort of person who's the violent type. I've never never had a fight in my life. I've never put my fists up to anybody. I've never needed to. Only, as I say, through the long hair problem people have said things. But it's never developed. Even if you say come on then, they still won't do anything. Basically, they've still got no guts. But even if they did, I'd run a mile. It's funny because you think, well, what are they going to do, and they don't do anything. So they just wasted the whole time laughing at you. Perhaps they just laugh to reassure their own masculinity.

HP: Why do you think there's such a big concern with clothes?

Jim: I don't know. It's a projection of one's character, I suppose.

HP: Is Carnaby Street a real madhouse?

Jim: It's so easy to send that Carnaby Street thing up. It really is. It's really a street with lots and lots of clothing shops. It's quite a revelation if you've never seen anything like it before, and I'm sure nobody over here has. There's nothing like that. It's just teen-age fashions, bizarre styles. You go there on a Saturday and the kids are there spending money. This is all part of the game, I suppose. Yeah, they spend a fortune on clothes. I don't know where some of the young ones get it from. You see them walking around and they must have spent twice what they've earned.

HP: Do they have things like charge accounts over there?

Jim: No. Not on Carnaby Street, anyway. They won't take checks or anything, not from the kids. Not unless they know you. But there is a big leaning towards clothes and fashions. It's an extension of their character. People have become more aware of the fact that, if they dress up and they look really elegant, I'm not saying Carnaby Street, but if they've got a very clean-cut suit on and still look pretty hip with it and not just sort of middle class, it has the affect on a girl.

HP: What's the biggest thing you dislike about America?

Jim: You see, the only thing that I've seen is violence, but I've only been doing concerts. I don't get out to walk around and meet people very often. If I was walking around the street, I probably wouldn't see any violence whatsoever. So, it's difficult. You see, I haven't seen much of America on this tour. But, when I had my holidays before in Hollywood, I enjoyed it. I thought it was great.

HP: You spent your holiday in Los Angeles?

Jim: Before I joined the group, I spent my holidays for the last couple of years in Hollywood.

HP: What are some of the things you enjoyed in Hollywood?

Jim: The weather. The weather's pretty bad in England. I met quite a few people and made some good friends. I liked the Sunset Strip; there's quite a bit happening there. I got to see groups I could never see in England.

HP: If you had a choice, where would you like to live?

Jim: Miles away from anybody. That's what I'm going to do when I get back. I'm buying a house. It's about a half a mile from anybody else. It's got a river, five bedrooms. That's for when the group slows down a bit. But we'll be working hard for the next year. There's so many things I'd like to do that I don't have the time for now. Things which are very important to me, like painting. But it's best to work now and make all the money I can.

HP: What kind of books do you like to read?

Jim: I used to study religion when I was in art school. But I stopped.

HP: Was that how you got interested in Indian music?

Jim: It may have been subconsciously. But I didn't just read about it and then go onto it. At the moment, I read sort of very strange things like I, Jan Cramer. Things which are a social comment. This Cramer is a beat painter in Holland. I like Henry Miller, too.

#yardbirds #jimmy page #hit parader #1967 #1960s #sixties #60s

[scottielambchop]

My Summer Set Review (2/2) ...Like, a Year Later

Hey guys, I got really tired on waiting for this thing to be edited (and honestly so did the person editing it). So here it is, unedited (sorry no boobs).

Herobust – Dirty Work: Before I get into this, I have a feeling that this song isn’t about the 1998 Norm MacDonald classic. This song starts off like it’s going to be a dirty-ass hip hop song, which is pretty tight, but then actual beat comes in which sounds like someone put a bunch of springs in a coffee can and then recorded it. As the song progresses, it sounds like someone autotuned an auto body shop. It’s bordering on unlistenable. The lyrics are really good though, you know, just about straight objectification of a woman. Jesus fucking Christ, it’s songs like this that make me really wonder why the fuck I chose to write this shit in my free time. All I can think about are junked out white kids twitching to this song in a grassy field and saying that they’re “in a groove.”

Keys n Krates – Dum Dee Dum: Holy shit, this song’s initial beat is just the words “dum dee dum” on repeat at different tones while someone uses a drum machine. There’s no drive or real buildup or anything. I know these kids like to dance to this shit, but I’m having a hard time even finding myself able to move. Then again, I’m not stuffed to the gills with blow and molly. I just don’t know what I’m listening to anymore.

Malaa – Notorious: First thing’s first, at the time of this review, this song has 6,382,678 views, so I’m thinking this is a banger… but I’m actually expecting the audio equivalent of dog shit through an Instagram filter. Ok, getting started. This song has a very basic beat, almost the type of beat someone would make when they’re trying to explain generic techno. And honestly, I’m not far off. It’s just low-key shit while lyrics from a hip hop artist are scattered about whenever it fits. I don’t hate this, I mean, I also don’t really like it either. It’s so nondescript that it’s hard to formulate an opinion on it. Which makes the high number of views makes so much sense to me, because either it’s so generic that it will keep any shitty 20-something basement party going without “harshing” anyone’s mellow, or someone had to listen to the song six million times just for to formulate an actual opinion on it. It’s probably a mix.

Ookay – Thief: This guy is straight-up made out of autotune. Thankfully, he’s trying to bring back the sexy saxophone, but the shitty over-bassed beats ruin any sort of goodwill that had going for it. Like, this song just sounds like a modern slow jam. There are lyrics… layers and layers of the same lyrics over each other, but it’s alright. I just kinda wish I didn’t have to see what this guy looks like. You know when a barista says “I’m also a DJ?” I have a feeling this guy is that success story. Compared to everything I’ve listened to so far, this song may as well be Rust In Peace by Megadeth, but ultimately it’s just Ookay.

Petit Buscuit – Sunset Lover: Jesus, more than 37 million people have listened to this. It starts off with a with an alright guitar (or synth guitar) riff, but then follows it up with an annoying high pitched voice speaking in a remixed foreign language. But this is really just non-offensive, kind of relaxing. It ever so slowly builds up more, adding in beats and other percussion instruments. Minus the remixed voice, this song is actually pretty good. I’d play it to help me sleep (I swear that’s not a dig). It’s just a quiet, relaxing song, people probably fuck to it a bunch.

Playboi Carti – Magnolia: This is a break from your typical bullshit dubstep/EDM on this list, which is a warm welcome for me. Sadly, this guy sounds like The Streets, but with an over-bassed beat. I don’t know what’s going on with hip hop anymore. Lyrically, it’s like they’re not even trying anymore, no rhyme scheme or anything. Just drone beats and incomprehensible rambling followed by a clearly audible “bitch” and that’s it. That said, still better than most of the stuff I’ve listened to.

Slushii – So Long (Feat. Madi): I can really tell how much this review process has started to change my outlook on things. I legitimately got excited when I saw actual people on the YouTube video thumbnail. My brain is breaking, ever so quickly. Anyway, this actually starts off like a pop song, slow beginning, nice pianos. Hell, even the girl singing sounds like she’s using her own voice. Ok, now the electronic part kicked in, but it’s not overly annoying. Honestly, this just sounds like generic hipster garbage, that people would namedrop to get some sort of superiority (“Oh that’s cute that you Animal Collective, but I’m more of a Slushii person.”) Regardless, I’m worried that they’ll get kicked off of the festival for being an artist that creates an actual song. Prayers for the Slushii family.

Snails – Frogbass: Oh Jesus, they’re hitting the ground running on this garbage. This just starts off really loud and obnoxious. And there’s a buildup where everything speeds up really quickly and subsequently gets quiet. All leading up the huge “dubstep” climax that just sounds like it was made on Sega Genesis sound chip. Like, that breakdown seriously gives me a headache. I feel like I need drugs… I SEE THE APPEAL NOW!

Space Jesus – The Weed: Well fuck, at least we’re now throwing out any attempts a subtlety with this song title. Honestly though, if I wasn’t working on this little project, and someone asked me if I’ve heard “The Weed” by Space Jesus, I would assume they’re one of the coolest stoner metal bands ever. But in all actuality, this song is just a conversation between two people about how a guy doesn’t smoke weed anymore, and that there’s a new drug or some shit out there, then it’s all remixed at different levels over some boring-ass, non-consistent beats. There’s seriously no drive to any of this shit. Like I understand that kids want to have some sort of music to listen to while they’re frying their brains on elicit drugs, but for fuck’s sake, try and maintain some artistic integrity. Oh, and this video has some dumb, weird fascination with waffles, but really, who gives a shit?

Ugly God – Water: Who could have seen this coming? The next natural progression from Space Jesus is Ugly God. In the future, I’m going to cite these two groups as a reason for my atheism. Once again, this is just generic beats with a guy mumbling over it. But wait, this guy rhymed “water” with “water” NEVERMIND HE’S A FUCKING GENIUS! And according to this music video, he’s also very talented at pouring two types of alcohol on someone’s daughter’s breasts. You know, because that’s a thing apparently. Also, this video has a weird gangster element, and utilizes the “f-word” (homophobic slur). Maybe the Christian conservatives were right about us shitty “snowflakes.” I mean, if (Ugly) God doesn’t have a problem placing himself above women and homosexuals, why should anyone else. I need to rethink my life.

Vanic – Too Soon (feat. Maty Noyes): This Maty Noyes girl has a pretty good voice… I think. It’s kinda fitting the trend of inward sing/mumbling so I don’t know what’s good anymore. But anyway, this song has the format of a pretty basic electronic pop song. Yeah, there’s a part in the middle where the keyboards make auto-tuned “veep” and “voop” noises, but at this point, nothing is surprising. The buildup is ok, and parts of this song are somewhat catchy. Yeah, it’s just a dance-pop song. Nothing groundbreaking, but it’ll get your ass shaking in the club or wherever the fuck you want to go.

Whethan – Savage (feat. Flux Pavilion and MAX): Well first of all, this video was uploaded by an organization called Trap Nation. I suppose there is no better time to let you all know that I have no idea what trap music actually is. So far all I can tell is that it just involves a lot of bass-y fart noises in lieu of a chorus. The quiet parts of this song are relatively tranquil, and I would very much like the song to just be nice an relaxing, but I guess that would make doing drugs in the middle of a field boring, so I guess Whethan added some loud robot farts to get you guys going… and that is trap music.

Wolfgang Gartner – Devotion: Apparently Wolfgang Gartner is the artist most retail clothing stores hire to make their in-house music. I’m currently watching a “lyric” video for this song, and they just have the same two lines on repeat throughout the entire song. It’s really loud and annoying, and yet I feel the urge to buy a pair of $150 jeans and a suit jacket.

Blu J – HDLCK: They sample Imogene Heap for this, so that’s pretty alright. But they replaced all of the music with the typical techno drums and claps, and then fill the rest off with random noises (you know, the sounds like when you hit a PVC pipe with a stick or whatever). I suppose it can make someone shake their ass. It just goes quiet and then loud and then quiet again. I’m now realizing that this review has become a test in how many times I can write the same goddamn review.

Kasbo – World Away: To start off, this just sounds like something that would be played in a dimly lit bar that would make you pay $25 for a gin and tonic. Very light and ethereal, but also really annoying. It’s like the audio equivalent of a late 20s/early 30s aspiring Instagram model. I can only picture people wearing big hats and big sunglasses listening to this and saying that this song is “so dope” and then going back to eating sushi and talking about how they want to travel the world and then live in a tiny home in an open field somewhere.

Russ Liquid – Feral Cat: Oh Jesus Christ this starts with what sounds like a pan flute and then evolves to a Moog synth. All of the sounds are compiling over each other, it’s like a multiple layers of noise that start and stop with the overall beat, like nothing is overtly loud, but there’s just so much happening all at once. After a bit, it just cuts its initial beat, and the noises just come all willy-nilly. There’s a point where a high-pitched voice is singing something, then there’s a clearly slowed down voice saying some bullshit at the same time, while it sounds like someone is having a stroke while playing a synth. This is like the official theme to a sexy headache.

Oh My Love – Spark: Oh good, it’s a band that saw early MGMT and the Phoenix back in 2009 and never grew out of it! That said, compared to practically everything else I’ve heard on this list, this has a straight-up song structure. And if I’m being completely honest, it’s actually pretty good. The female vocalist has a relatively pretty voice, and the beat isn’t overbearing. This song sounds like it would be played on a depressing montage about love lost over a summer in an indie film. Shit, I might actually listen to this song again, when I’m not forcing myself to review it. I have no idea who I am anymore.

Mielo – Surreal (Feat. Abby Sevcik): The beginning of this was highly inspired by the vocal prompts in Animal Crossing. Vocal cuts stopped and turned into actual vocals, which was nice… oops spoke to soon, it’s now just the word “you” in different pitches with a typical electronic beat. And now were back to the regular vocals. I get how this song works. It has some really peaceful, pretty singing and then it’s followed by one of the most annoying choruses. It’s kinda brilliant really, it provides audio highs and lows for people on ecstasy to better ejaculate. Yeah, a little under half of this song is good, but the rest is annoying horseshit.

Porn and Chicken – Ugh, no.

Attom – Stay: This is just local coffee shop background hipster music. Light noises, overpowering beat, peaceful synths and indecipherable vocals. Easy to ignore when you’re trying to finish your essay about how the works of Kant and Descartes affected the political cultures of their times or whatever. It wasn’t anything, Hell, it was hardly there. So needless to say, I like it better than 75% of the rest of this stuff.

GainesFM – Negative Energy: This is just typical modern hip-hop song with a minimal beat and mumbled lyrics. The only thing that sets this song apart from the rest of it is the fact that it sounds like vocals were recorded with a megaphone muffled through a pillow. At least he has the wherewithal to rhyme on occasion. Whatever.

Indrid Cold – Cosmic Dust: This starts off with a sample from an Apollo space mission. As far as I can tell, this guy is just a typical club DJ. Fun fact: I did once go through a minor techno phase in the very early aughts (we’re talkin’ ’01 or ’02). During this time, I listened to a lot of Paul Oakenfold, Chemical Brothers, and Orbital, and honestly, that’s exactly what this sounds like. It’s still shitty techno, but it reminds me of the shitty techno that I used to listen to, so I can tolerate it. Stupid samples though.

Ragebeards – Round 2: Ok here’s the deal, these guys are a local Minnesota DJ duo, I can’t really find anything of theirs on YouTube, so I’m watching a video on their Facebook. The problem (other than the fact that they suck) is that the video is more than an hour long, and I’m certainly not going to waste an hour of my life listening to this. Anyway, I can review this relatively quickly, imagine the worst parts of late 90’s Crystal Method and then add Michael Buffer/Jock Jams samples in there and that’s basically what you’ve got. Take that however you want, I’d rather listen to Filter.

Why Khakiq – Knew the Half: This song is pretty wild, man. It starts off as one of those mumblely hip-hop songs, but then the dude starts straight-up spittin’ rhymes. Then half way through, the beat completely changes to something faster and the guy really goes after it. And then it cuts back down. I dunno, man, I kinda really like this. Solid

Trufeelz – Set Ya Mind Free: Ok, imagine sped up Musak, weird synthy laser sounds, and then the same phrase being repeated on different pitches, one high and annoying, and the other low and breathy… and also annoying. But I can see how people dance to this. It sucks, but as I’ve come to realize, that doesn’t mean you can’t dance to it. OH COOL, THEY’VE ADDED PAN FLUTES AT THE END! NEVERMIND THIS SONG RULES!

Conclusion:

I’ve given one song by every artist a shot. Surprisingly, I found one or two that didn’t make me want to lobotomize myself with forklift (Hell, I actually found one that I actually kinda liked (Lookin’ at you Oh My Love)). But ultimately, most of the people playing this festival sound like the audio equivalent of vape rigs.

Most electronic dance music (techno, trap, house, flip, flop, butt, farts, Jeep Cherokee, flat earth, and whatever other subgenres) is the goddamn worst. Granted, I haven’t even smoked weed since 2009, so I don’t know what these guys sound like on drugs… or stranded in a field with people on drugs. The one thing I’ve discovered, is that this is just the next iteration of hippie bullshit. If you need drugs to enjoy the sounds robots fucking, maybe the sounds of robots fucking isn’t good. But whatever, I’m not going to fully shit on someone’s good time. I just won’t go to the goddamn festival.

If I can leave you all with one last thought, it would have to be “Fuck hippies and their bullshit music.”

But seriously, I hope you guys all do what you want, and do what makes you happy. I know I didn’t. I’m going to neutralize the nearly irreversible damage I’ve done to myself by listening to Propagandhi and Snapcase.

But seriously, seriously, fuck hippies.

Stay safe out there. Always know your dealer.