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coexistentialism · 2 months

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Finding Your Identities: Figuring Out Your Alters When Your Alters Aren't "Distinct" "People"

I have been wanting to make this post for a very long time now.

I have talked countless times on this blog about how a lot of the "how to figure out your alters" lists do not and cannot apply to me, or systems who may be like me, for a variety of reasons.

We do not have distinct senses of selves, we don't feel like our own distinct individuals, in any way whatsoever. There is no specific, unique, distinct "cue" or feeling or anything that tells me I've switched, or tells me that a specific, distinct alter is fronting who is different from any other alters. There is no specific, distinct THING that tells me "okay yeah that was very obviously and specifically and undeniably a different alter."

It's easy to deny you have alters when your alters are not distinct individuals who know they are their own unique, separate selves. It's easy to deny you have alters when it always feels like "you."

If you don't experience your alters as distinct 'entities' where you can obviously and distinctly refer to them as "that is (that specific alter) and that is not (these other alters)", it can be nearly impossible to figure out your alters at all.

This has been a horrible aspect of my denial since essentially the beginning. I mean, when everything online tells you that DID involves a distinct sense of "not me" to it, how can you know if you have it if it doesn't feel that way to you?

Now obviously I DO have that feeling of "not me"... It's just not described using those specific words. I was taking it all way too literally (thanks, autism NFKDSFDKJ).

It's more like "I don't really feel that way anymore" or "yeah I felt that way, but not anymore."

Or "I don't really relate to that anymore" or "I don't really like this as my identity anymore" or "I don't like this name anymore."

Or "this feels like someone else's life" (but more of a feeling, it's not like I just suddenly don't know anything in my life anymore. I know my girlfriend and love her still and I know I live in this house, etc.)

I'll feel like I am attending therapy because I have to, or I'll feel like I'm relaying information that I know factually, as if I was told a story of things that happened and I have to relay that information to someone else.

Or just generally a weird feeling that something is off.

And that's the thing - dissociation (for me personally) is less like "things aren't real" and "I'm not real" and more like just a vague feeling that something is OFF, and you don't know what, and you can't explain it.

I remember as a kid feeling like I'm the "only conscious being" or "feeling like I'm in an anime" or "acting out a dramatic scene in a movie." Now all three of those descriptions still fall under "feeling like things aren't real/etc." but I never interpreted it that way, because of how literally I take things, I didn't make the connection, because I never used the SPECIFIC wording of "feeling like I'm not real/feeling like the world isn't real/etc."

I straight-up told one of the first therapists I saw for a DID diagnosis that I "don't really dissociate at all" because I don't really experience the "nothing is real/I'm not real/etc."

This, too, brought me a lot of denial, because people only describe dissociation as "things don't feel real", "you don't feel real", "you feel like you're floating", "you're watching yourself", "you're watching the world through fog/glass", etc. And because I never really used those specific words to explain my feelings and experiences, I figured I wasn't really experiencing any dissociation, or at least just very rarely and mildly so.

That's a key thing here - the WORD CHOICES being used to describe alters, systems, CDD experiences, etc. don't really match up with my experiences at all. I take things extremely, extremely literally, and when everybody describes their alters and refers to them as distinct, different people, it's hard to feel like your experiences are the more common experience, especially when people around you might continue to reinforce that denial, by assuming you must not have alters, or you have a different disorder, etc., because you are "always awake and present no matter what alter is fronting", etc.

Your personal interpretation of your experiences matters a LOT when it comes to CDDs, figuring out if you have a CDD, and it also plays a large role into how your system might present/feel/look/what alters you have/etc.

For example, many people interpreted their alter experiences and switches as creating characters. That, then, might become a huge aspect of figuring out your alters - you might realize that many of the characters you've made (or all of them) through the years were actually alters. With that lens, you might, then, be able to have a lot of knowledge about your alters based off of that alone - those "characters" might have specific characteristics, lore, designs, etc. that you then realize were all a part of that alter.

You might also, then, find that each time you find yourself making a "new" "character", it's actually just a new alter forming/splitting (or perhaps them just finding out their own identity).

The way you personally interpret your experiences, your feelings, your life, memories, etc. all impact your alters and your system - the way your alters identify, the way it FEELS when alters front, the way your system presents, etc.

I grew up believing I was making things up and lying for seemingly no reason, for attention, because I liked being cool and special. Or that I was purposely acting out a fake, dramatic movie, just to add more drama.

In reality, I was experiencing alter switches and dissociation, but because I interpreted it in those ways, we now have a very difficult time trying to accept and believe that these are real feelings, real experiences, outside of my control, instead of me just saying things for attention and acting dramatic just because.

I also very much grew up feeling like "nothing ever sticks, so why bother taking anything seriously." Now, pretty much all of us still have this attitude, this feeling of "why bother coming up with a name, why bother taking (my feelings, etc.) seriously when it's just gonna go away and not come back."

I would feel confident in a decision or an identity or a name change and so on, only for me to change it the next day, or the next week, and so on.

This made things like questioning my gender identity and wanting to change my name extremely difficult and impossible because I could never be sure if it was going to actually STICK or just be a temporary, fleeting "phase." I became upset (and still become upset and distressed) every time everything turned out to just be a "phase" instead of a real, actual thing. I still have trouble with this. If I want to cut my hair or dye my hair or get new clothes, I will never be able to know for sure if I'll still like it in a different state. If I want a name change, I don't know if it'll be long-term or if I will change my mind the next day.

DID is more like this, and less like "I'm a totally different person with a distinctly different personality and a different name and I am not ("host")."

And if this is relatable to you, this post may very much help you figure out who your alters are.

A lot of things online that try to give suggestions and ideas for figuring out your alters in a way of "ask (your alters) these questions."

For me, I can't really do that, for a variety of different reasons - our dissociative barriers are too high, there's no inner world, and there's no kind of "distinct voices" that I "hear" speaking to me that are coming from a distinctly different "person." And since we as alters do not experience ourselves as distinct individuals where we just know who we are and know we are our own distinct individuals, it's less like asking my alters these questions, and more like asking MYSELF these questions. I want you keep that in mind going into this post.

When it comes to figuring out alters, what helps me is trying to keep track of patterns of changes in my behaviors, likes, dislikes, hobbies/interests, and more.

The following is a TEMPLATE of things you can ask yourself at different times, during different moods, modes, self-states - whatever you wanna call it.

I tried to make them as general as possible in order to hopefully make the questions apply to a general audience/a wide variety of people, instead of being too specific where they might not apply to most people.

You do not have to ask yourself all of these questions! If you don't know the answer to a question, and/or you don't want to answer a question, it can be important to write that down too! You can skip any questions or change them in any way you like.

If a question feels unhelpful to you, feel free to change it into something that might feel more helpful to you personally, and/or just remove it altogether.

Feel free to expand upon these questions! For example, if a question seems helpful to you, you might have further ideas to expand upon that question into further, more specific questions. I actually totally encourage other people to expand upon these questions and come up with more questions that could help others! Definitely share your thoughts in reblogs if you want.

I want to make it clear, first, that this post is NOT trying to make people OBSESS over this!!!! These questions are meant to help figure out alters, but don't obsess over it!

The purpose of these questions is to simply try and keep track of possible patterns of behaviors, etc., not to obsess over figuring out your alters, not to obsess over figuring out what alter you are, not to obsess over making sure your alters are "consistent all the time" or something. It doesn't matter about knowing "who" you are so much as it matters to let yourself exist as you are, at any given moment. It's to allow yourself to exist and see if there is a pattern of emotions, opinions, preferences, likes, dislikes, interests/hobbies, behaviors, and more that crop of every so often - this is what alters are for a lot of people. Like I said, it's less like "distinct, separate person" and more like a recurring pattern of the same/similar emotions/behaviors/traits/etc. that crop up every so often, oftentimes in response to things, such as topics that you may find triggering (for example: feeling like an angry wolf every time the topic of physical abuse comes up, or feeling like a scared child when you feel like someone said something upsetting), or even positive topics, such as feeling like you become a girl whenever the topic of fashion gets brought up, or feeling like you're 13 when the topic of a childhood beloved TV show comes up.

While "feeling like (xyz) in response to (xyz)" does not necessarily mean you have a CDD, this post is specifically about those experiences under the context of having a CDD. If you relate to anything I wrote in this post, it does not necessarily mean you have a CDD! Similarly, if you DON'T relate to anything in this post, it also doesn't mean you DON'T have a CDD! I am sharing this post with the assumption that the people reading it already know they have a CDD, and/or strongly suspect it.

Questions to ask myself for figuring out alters:

Month day, year. Time (or whatever way you want to write down the month/day/year/time).

What name(s) do I like?:

This doesn't have to be names of specific alters (by that I mean, you don't have to go through your list of alters with specific names to figure out if you like one of them). You can write a vague idea of what name/names you might like (such as "a name related to plants" or "a name that reminds me of the ocean"). You can write down multiple names. You can write down no name. You can write down that you're indifferent. Anything!

What pronouns do I like?:

Again, you can write down anything. If multiple sets of pronouns vibe, write that down! If nothing vibes, write it down! If you don't have any strong feelings/if you're indifferent, write that down too! If you don't know, write that down!

Are there any particular labels I feel drawn to/feel I identify with?:

It can be an LGBTQ+ label (bisexual, demiboy, aromantic, lesbian, etc.), or a label related to something else

What kind of color(s) am I drawn to?:

Darker colors? Pastel colors? Neon colors? Light colors? Etc.

What do I want to do? What would I do if I had the resources (time, money, 'skill', motivation, energy, etc.) (for example, maybe you wish you could play guitar, but you can’t play guitar, don’t have a guitar, etc.)?:

Similarly, is there anything that I might normally be interested in that I find myself no longer wanting to do?:

-- Listening to music: What songs? Am I singing along? What are the songs about? How do I feel about the music? Are there any songs I dislike? Any particular common genre/theme with the music I find myself liking right now?

-- Art: - What kind of art (Digital art? Doing makeup? Sculpting? Knitting? Painting? Woodworking? Photography? Any art counts.) - What is my art style like/what tools am I using? (If digital art, what program am I using? What brushes am I using? Etc. (Different alters might prefer to use different art programs and different art brushes!)) - What does the artwork depict? (Vent art? Are there themes of trauma? Dissociation? Fanart? Something else?)

-- Playing a game: - What game? - What am I doing in the game? Are there different game modes? If so, what mode am I playing? Is my character customizable, and if so, how does my character look? (Some alters might prefer to change the way the character looks to match how they might feel inside!) - Are there any games I don't currently care for?

-- Watching YouTube: - What is the topic of the video? (Is it about a hobby I like? A TV series? A video essay? Something else?)

-- Playing an instrument: - What instrument? - Am I trying to learn a specific song/songs? - Am I making my own music? Are there lyrics to go along with it? - If it’s a specific song (either writing your own, or trying to learn how to play a certain song on an instrument), what is it about? Any specific themes that stick out?

-- Writing: Poetry? Working on a book/short story? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Reading: What am I reading? What is it about? What genre? (Romance? Non-fiction? Etc.) Is it fanfiction?

-- Something else…

What am I thinking about?

What am I talking about?

How am I feeling?

Did something trigger me to feel this certain way?

If something triggered me to feel a certain way, do I know the reason(s) why? (For example, if you encountered something that brings up trauma-related feelings, etc.)

You might describe your feelings in ways other than a simple “sad”, “mad”, or “happy.” You might be more specific, such as “I feel like white noise” or “I feel like a dog” or “I feel like an ocean.” This is completely valid and an important thing to keep note of as well. You can even write down that you feel tall, or you feel a different age, or you feel like a certain character.

There are many more questions that you could ask 'yourself' to get to know 'yourselves.' This list is not exhaustive, and like I said, you can simply you this template to bounce off ideas of what questions you, personally, would find most helpful!

I'd love to hear anybody's input, and I hope this post helps anyone. :] If not, feel free to share around anyway, if you want!

#my posts #actuallyDID #actuallyosdd #osdd system #did system

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lqveharrington · 9 days

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Hidden Hatred | V.

summary: You’re a new Overlord and meet Vox for the first time. Who knew what that first interaction would do for the both of you down the line.

pairing: Vox x witch Overlord!reader

includes: name calling, mentions of murder, technically enemies to lovers, Vox being whipped by you, jealously, suggestiveness, teasing, fluff, angst if you squint, (let me know if i missed any!)

a/n: 1st request for Vox done! Also, tell me why I love giving them powers like wanda? it’s so cool tho

When you became an Overlord, you quickly recognized all the other Overlords at meetings, matching their personality to name. For example, Alastor’s voice effects gave the illusion of a radio, hence Radio Demon. Or Carmilla and her pointe shoes made of angelic steel. However, there were some Overlords who never attended the meetings, sending in one of the associates in place. The Vees being the only Overlords to do so, typically sending the youngest to attend the meetings. In doing this, you never met the others, refusing to associate online presence with their real self.

So when Vox came in place for Velvette for one of the Overlord meetings, you were slightly confused.

“Vox, how lovely for you to join us this afternoon.” Carmilla gestured toward the Television Demon across the table, her stare sharp when he tapped away on his phone.

“Uh-huh, can we make this quick? I have a company to run.” He threw her a bored look and scanned the rest of the room, noticing a new face. “Who the hell is this bitch?”

Your face jumps in surprise at his words before giving him a small smile. “It’s—“

“You know what? I don’t give a shit.” Vox glanced back at his phone. “Please, continue Carmilla.”

You huff, conjuring up red wisps from your fingertips to mess with while the meeting continues. You thought dealing with Velvette when you first met was a pain, but Vox was ten times worse than she was, and you just met! He seemed interesting, and you never expected a demon Overlord to have a television for a head, but his disinterest in you put you in a sour mood. You genuinely wanted to understand how he was an Overlord, but it seemed impossible with his nature.

“Now dear, let’s not think of murderous thoughts.” Alastor hummed in your direction when he saw you send a death glare toward the Television Demon as you left the meeting room, to which you only received an eye roll back. “Only I can have an enemy like him.”

“Al, during our short break he told me to fuck off and shoved his finger in my face!” You seeth as your eyes glow red with more wisps emitting from your fingers. “I’m going to murder him.”

Alastor caught your arm, “You will not do such things to an Overlord. If he appears at the next meeting and continues to act rude toward one of our gracious ladies, please tell me.”

“Of course, Al.” You snap your fingers, creating a portal to your Overlord territory. “I’ll see you in a month.”

Although you weren’t going to see all the Overlords in one place for a month, that didn’t mean a certain Television Demon consumed your thoughts because of your behavior toward one another during one meeting. It seemed as if every piece of technology reminded you of him, causing some unwanted thoughts to form during wanting times.

Much like you, Vox’s thoughts were filled to the brim of you. How has he never met you? How has Velvette never mentioned a new Overlord in Pentagram City? Oh, he wanted to know more about you. It was only a matter of time before he realized he was entirely whipped by your presence.

“What’s up your ass?” Velvette stepped inside the elevator with Vox as he messed with his suit for the nth time. She already had a suspicion something was up when he decided to tag along for the meeting, but he was acting nervous for a group of people he disrespected. How the fuck does that even work? “Vox.”

“What?” He whipped his head over to his shorter associate as the elevator door dinged.

She gave him an unimpressed look, “What’s going on in your system? You look like you’re going to reboot any second now.”

“Do I?” He reached up to touch his screen, pulling out his phone for vitals.

Velvette furrowed her brows at his reaction when they walked into the meeting room, a couple of other Overlords mingling amongst themselves. “Okay, what’s the fucking problem? Is there someone you—“

“Vox and Velvette.” Carmilla took her slow strides into the room, quickly diminishing the added noise. “To what do we owe the pleasure of two out of the three Vees?”

“This fuck wanted to join me for no reason.” Velvette jabbed her thumb in Vox’s direction, earning a snort from you. All heads turned as you covered your mouth, letting a quick apology fall from your lips.

Carmilla raised a brow, “Thank you… We’ll start off with the…”

Her voice soon became white noise to Vox as he took his seat, glancing up at you every few seconds. God, he hated the way you would quietly speak with Alastor or how you made eye contact with him just to break it with a glare. He hated the way you always dressed to your heart's content and how you failed to respond to Carmilla when asked a question. He hated how he failed to actually hate you.

“Vox, you’re wrecking Carmilla’s table,” Velvette murmured in his direction as Vox’s claws dug deeper into the table’s top.

He looked down at the table, pulling his claws out. He was too focused on your quiet laughter with Alastor to notice the damage. As your quiet laughter subsided, you made eye contact with Vox again before glancing down at the claw marks, and raising a brow at the television.

‘It’s boring.’ Vox mouthed toward you.

You pursed your lips at him, not understanding the game he was playing. ‘Of course it is, it always is.’

Vox rolled his eyes in a joking manner, shooting his attention back to the Overlord in front of the table. You, on the other hand, shot a quizzical look toward him. Sure, your dead heart sped up a bit, and you felt your face warm, but it was only an exchange of two sentences. You felt the red wisps emit from your fingertips again from confusion, pulling at the soft fog created by the magic.

“My dear, what’s gotten you all out of sorts?” Alastor caught up with you when the meeting adjourned with a sharpened grin, noticing your encounter with the Television Demon.

“What do you mean?” You glance back at Vox who offered you a small smirk. Waving him off, you let a small smile slip through.

“That, my dear!” He squinted his eyes toward the television. “Don’t fraternize yourself with him, he’s involved in too much trouble.”

You tilt your head back to Alastor, “We’re in Hell, I can’t think of any reason why anyone would not be in trouble.”

“What I mean to say is don’t get too comfortable with that… thing. It’s not ideal.” His ears fell flat as you paid zero attention to him.

“I won’t. Plus, I’m sure he got bored and bothered the first person he saw. After all, he did tell me to fuck off during the last meeting.” You tuck your arms behind your back. “Don’t worry so much about me, Al. I can handle myself just fine.”

“I’m not worried about you, I’m worried about the man you’re associating yourself with.” He patted your head. “Until next time, my dear.”

You watch as he slips away with his shadows, rolling your eyes at his antics. It was highly unlikely that you would start a friendship with Vox, considering the people he lives with. Alastor had nothing to worry about, it was just a moment of boredom consuming the both of you.

At least, that’s what you told yourselves. Satan knows that the first interaction was uncalled for, but it wasn’t Vox’s fault. No, he blamed himself for the image he had to uphold and being struck by a new Overlord’s looks. But as time passed, along with meetings, the urge to see each other became stronger, resulting in meetings outside of the Carmine building.

Literally.

“Doll, you take way too long to get here.” Vox pulled you toward him by your hand, linking them together.

“Aw, I’m sorry. Were you too scared to be here all on your own? Too afraid there are no bodyguards to protect you?” You tease with a wide grin. You watch as he rolls his eyes at you, tugging you closer. You laugh while patting his chest, “I had to deal with an incompetent sinner. I know you wanted to spend more time together before the meeting.”

“You have to make it up to me now.” He smiled down at you, eyes filled with admiration.

You hum, your own eyes gleaming in such a lovesick look. “Like what, Mister Vox? How should I make it up to you?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” He tilted your head further up, the electricity over his hat reflecting his fast heartbeat. “What do you think?”

“I think…” You flit your gaze to his lips before moving them back up to meet his eyes. “I shouldn’t be in debt to you.”

“Is that so, doll?” He squints as he tightens his hold on you. “I think I’m deserving of something at least.”

“Mm, no.” You squeeze his hand. He gives you a playful look before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You grin before reciprocating, using your free hand to hold his shoulder. The both of you separate, eyes fluttering open with soft smiles. “Must you defy me, handsome?”

“Only when I want to.” He whispered against your lips as he pressed more kisses on your lips. You giggle as you let your red wisps emit from your fingers, watching as your wisps pull him away from you. “Doll…”

“Mm?” You stay still as he continues to get pulled away by your powers.

“What are you doing?”

You flick your wrist, the wisps disappearing. “Nothing, you’re the one moving away from me.” Vox grabs at your waist, pulling you flush against him. You squeal as he peppers kisses across your face, “Vox, we could be seen.”

“Who’s going to come down this alleyway?” He left one last kiss on your lips, smiling as a fool would.

“The other Overlords who are going to attend the meeting.” You push his screen away as you catch the time on your watch. “I thought you didn’t want anyone to know?”

“Yeah, but they should know you’re taken.” He squeezed your waist.

“You want them to think we hate fuck each other?” You grab his wrists as they sway you around. “You know they still think we hate each other right?”

“Who said we don’t?” He bared his teeth to you, earning an eye roll. “You can’t tell me you don’t like it—“

“Shut up.” You sucker punch his shoulder. “The Tech Overlord dating the Witch Overlord? Never.”

“Never.” He linked your hands again, leaving a soft kiss on your knuckles. “I despise you.”

“Horrible thought.” You pull him along out of the alley, separating as soon as you see Alastor appear out of the shadows. You watched the Radio Demon send you a sharpened grin, which you returned with a small smile.

Although you kept your relationship a secret from the likes of sinners and Overlords, both the Technology Overlord and Witch Overlord knew what they were to each other, even if that meant it was kept hidden.

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spidybaby · 11 months

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Begin Again | Part Three

Summary: Back to the start to fix the broken pieces just to find that you can get what you always dreamed.

Warnings: cursing

A/N: Hello! I want to apologize for the waiting. Most of that was because I got sick (I still am), but here it is. Hope you like it. Love you all 💛✨️

Part one | Part two

April 2027

The moving went smoothly, Elena and Paulo helped you with everything. Your parents didn't like the idea, but you shut them down.

You weren't supposed to start till the end of April, giving you enough time to mind a plan to fix everything.

You saw online that Pedro was on Manchester. Apparently, Manchester City wanted to buy him.

"No sobre pienses tanto lo que haces, estas haciendo lo mejor para ti." (Don't overthink your decision. You're doing what's best for you)

Elena was the voice of reason in this situation.

"No sé ni donde empezar." (I don't even know where to start)

"Escuchame, eres una de las personas más inteligentes que conozco, venga tía, tu puedes con esto, es normal no saber ni donde empezar, pero estoy aquí para ti, para ayudarte en todo." (Listen to me, you're one of the smartest people I've ever known, c'mon dude, you can do it, it's okay not knowing where to start, but I'm here for you to help you with everything)

You hug her, crying a little, she makes you feel less alone.

Your mother stopped talking to you once she found out about the moving, telling you how much of a mistake you were making.

Your dad was siding with her, even when he didn't say you were making a mistake, he did tell you it was a bad decision.

But you didn't care, you pack your stuff and moved back to Barcelona. You even unblock his family from social media and didn't follow them, but unblock them was a start.

"Vamos por un helado." Elena says, drying your tears, "polito, amor mio, vamos!" (Let's go get some ice cream, Polito, my love, let's go)

She was carrying the diaper bag and your son, to say he even had a matching outfit with her.

"Oye, vamos a la playa, quiero una foto con mi bebé. Polito, te pondré tu chamarra de osito." (Let's go to the beach, I want a photo with my baby, Polito, let me put you your bear sweater)

"Tu bebé?" You laugh helping her with the sweater. "Amorcito, tienes nueva mami." (Your baby? Baby, you have a new mommy)

She laughed and made her way to the front door, grabbing your purse on the way out and your phone. You followed her.

"Crees que Pedro haría algo para quedarse con Polo?" You ask once you got to the beach. Your mom words did have an impact, even if you knew he wouldn't. "Yo sé que no, pero me da miedo." (Do you think Pedro would do anything to take Polo away? I know he wouldn't, but I'm scared)

"Y/n, claro que no, por favor saca esas ideas de tu mente, Pedro y tu tuvieron algo tan especial, él jamás haría nada para lastimarte." (Y/n, of course not, please take that idea out of your mind. Pedro and you had something so special, I know he won't do anything to hurt you)

You only nodded, not wanting to overthink those words.

"Mis padres me odian." (My parents hate me)

"No creo, solo están preocupados." (I don't think so, they're just worried)

But worried about what?

"Venga, Dame a mi hijo, vamos a tomarnos fotos." Elena says, throwing the empty ice cream cup in the trash can near you. (Give me my son, let's take some pictures)

"Lo bueno es que tu lo pariste, vieja tonta." (The good thing us that you birth him, dumbass)

Elena dances a little with him, singing a Quevedo song. The song makes you remember Pedro, he loves Quevedo music.

You take the pictures of Polo and Elena and she then takes some of you and him.

"Ay déjame subir esta." (Oh let me post this one)

You see the picture, it was cute.

"Dale."

"La verdad la oferta esta muy buena, para mi que la tomes." Mario, who is Pedro's manager says, "O es que aún piensas en quedarte en el barça?" (I think the offer is really good, I think you should take it. Or are you still thinking about staying?)

Pedro was lost in his thoughts, Manchester was offering him 150 million euros, with full on benefits and even to keep the number 8.

But on the other side, Barça was the club of his life. He couldn't imagine playing for other club.

He played for another season, but due to a mistake in his contract, he could leave for free this summer.

"Creo que debo pensarlo, hablarlo bien con mis padres." (I have to think about it, talk with my parents)

His manager agreed and changed the subject. He was invited to a club, but he rejected it. Fer was not I the mood, and without him, he was not going.

"Vamos de regreso al hotel." (Let's go back to the hotel)

After the arrival, he and his manager went to their rooms. He was sharing one with Fernando.

"Cómo te fue chaval?" (How was it?)

"Mmm. Estuvo bien, es un puto dolor de cabeza pensar en esto, no sé ni que hacer." (It was good, but it's a fucking headache thinking about all of this, I don't even know what to do)

"Venga, vamos al bar del hotel, tomamos algo y hablamos, no te estreses Pedro" (Let's go to the bar of the hotel, let's have some drinks and a talk. Don't stress)

They both made their way to the bar, Fernando was telling him about a gift he bought for his girlfriend.

"Mira que linda foto," Fer says, showing him the picture Elena posts about a baby with a bear sweater. "Quiero un sobrino para vestirlo así." (Look at this beautiful picture, I want a nephew to dress him like that)

Fernando looks at him with funny eyes, Pedro only laughs, "eres un gilipollas, tu deberías darme un sobrino" (you're an asshole, you're supposed to give me a nephew.)

They laughed and forgot about the picture. Asking for drinks and some food to begin the night.

"Alguna vez has pensado en cómo serias cómo padre?" (Have you ever thought about you as a father?) Fernando asks.

That puts him in deep thoughts. He did think about it, even dream with it.

The little baby in your arms with the barça shirt, his number on the back of both yours and the baby's shirt.

"La verdad?" (You want the truth?)

"Macho, no como crees? Dime mentiras." Fer says as he hits him on the back of the head. "Pues claro tonto, por algo pregunté." (Man, not at all, tell me lies. Well, obviously, I want the truth, I asked for a reason.)

"Venga ya que la colleja no era necesaria." He laughs. "Siempre lo imaginé, usualmente era algo que hablamos y/n y yo, ella quería un niño, y hombre no te miento, yo también quería uno, pero luego miraba a nuestro primo con su hija y pensaba en una niña." He says, remembering all the late night talks you two had. (The hit on the head was not necessary, I've always pictured it. It was something y/n and I always talked about. She wants a boy and man, I do want a son too, but after seeing our cousins with his girl, I thought about having a girl)

Fernando looks at the way he talks about it, the shine of his eyes, he haven't seen that shine in months.

"Puedo preguntarte algo, pero no te enojas?" (Can I ask you something without you getting mad?)

"Mhm?"

"Por qué la dejaste ir?" (Why did you let her go?)

Pedro takes his eyes away from his brother. That question was one he asked himself every night since that December night.

"Recuerdas el anillo?" He asks, Fernando nods. "Yo sabía que ella quería que su padre estuviera de acuerdo con el matrimonio, la bendición, así que fui a pedirla, yo quería casarme con ella." (Remember the ring? I knew she wanted his father to be okay with the marriage, the blessing. So I went to ask for it, I wanted yo marry her)

"Pero?" (But?)

"Pero su padre me dijo que no podía darmela, que yo era un chaval con una vida muy distinta a la que el soñaba para el esposo de su hija. Me dijo que pensaba que ella algún día iba a darse cuenta y dejarme, como no lo hizo, solo esperó. Me pidió dejarla, diciendo que ella no quería irse de Barcelona por mi, porque no quería dejarme, diciéndome que sus sueños iban a ser siempre interrumpidos por mi, por mi carrera y me pidió dejarla ir, dejarla emprender su propio camino, brillar por si sola." He says angrily, remembering the words of your father. (But her father couldn't give it to me, I was a kid with a totally different life from the one he pictured his son in law would have. He told me he hoped for her to realize that and left me, but she never did, so he waited. He asked me to leave her, but she didn't want to leave Barcelona because of me, telling me her dreams were going to be interrupted by me because of my career. So he asked me to let her go, for her to shine on her own, to begin her own path in life)

Fernando was in shock. He always thought it was about a fight, maybe even a bad patch on the relationship. Even his parents told him he was making a mistake, but know it makes sense.

"Pedro. Por qué no me habías contado?" (Pedro, why didn't you tell me?)

He shrugs, not facing him. Drinking way too quickly.

"Pedro, por favor mirame."

He did, after a few minutes.

"Lo siento, por haberte criticado, haberte culpado y juzgado mal. No sabía lo que había pasado, ojalá me hubieras contado, para así apoyarte. Lo siento hermanito." He hugs him, the hug was tight, and Pedro needed that. (I'm sorry. For judging you and for blaming you. I didn't know, and I wish you had told me I would have supported you. I'm sorry, hermanito.

Pedro felt relief. The secret he kept to himself was now free from him.

"Has pensado en hablar con ella?" (Have you thought about reaching her?)

He shake his head no.

"La verdad siento que me odia, la hice mierda, la deje y luego ignore sus llamadas, sus mensajes. Me dolió el alma, Fernando. Pero era lo que yo en ese momento creía correcto. (To be honest, I feel that she hates me, I fuck her up, after I dumped her I ignored her calls and texts, that broke my heart, Fernando. But I thought I was doing the right thing)

"Escuchame, tu hiciste lo que en ese momento creíste correcto, no te culpes más, pero creo que es obvio que no la has superado, aún piensas en ella." Fer says, patting his back. "Venga, déjame ayudarte a recuperarla y si no se puede pues ayudarte a superarlo, juntos en todo, como cuando niños." (Listen to me, you did what you thought was the right thing, don't blame yourself anymore. I think it is pretty obvious that you love her. You still think of her. So, let me help you get her back, and if that's not possible, let me help you move on, but together, like when we were kids)

"Te amo, eres el mejor." (I love you, you're the best)

"Yo te amo más, venga que tenemos que pensar en algo." (I love you more, c'mon, we have to plan how you're getting her back)

Pedro smiled, high five his brother, and begins with the plan for that to happen. Like fer said, together.

You were at the supermarket, you needed food for your fridge. Elena stayed with Polo. He was fussy, so you let him stay.

You got almost everything on the list. I'm picking a few fruits. Since Polo is now six months old, the doctor told you to start with some fruit based foods.

You grabbed some sweet potato, some bananas, and some avocados. Also some vegetables like broccoli, carrot, and some more.

You were so focused on picking some apples that when someone touched you to grab your attention you kind of jump.

"Ay Dios," you say, putting your hand on your heart, "Pablo?" You ask seeing him smile, trying not to laugh.

"Sigues siendo la misma tía que se asusta de todo al parecer." (You're still the same scary girl I see).

You laugh, hugging him. It's been a long time without seeing him.

"Cuando volviste?" (When did you came back?)

"Hace poco, a finales de marzo." (Not that long ago, end of March.)

"Y estas aquí para quedarte? O solo de visita?" (Are you staying or only for a visit?)

You smile, "Vine para quedarme" (I'm here to stay)

You talked for a while, and you both continued the shopping.

"Y dime, como vas de amores?" (And tell me, how's the love?)

You shrug, not knowing how to answer.

"Pues, sigo soltera. Los Italianos son muy intensos, te juro. Y tu que tal de amores?" (Well, I'm still single, Italian guys are way too much. What about you?)

"Recuerdas a Carolina?" (Do you remember Carolina?)

"La nena del agua?" (The water girl?)

He nodded, excited. "Hace casi un año estamos saliendo, ya no es la del agua, ahora es entrenadora de los niños en el club" (almost a year ago we been dating, and she's not the water girl anymore, she's a coach for the first starters in the club.)

"Eso está increíble, Pablito." (That's amazing, Pablito)

"Haz vuelto a hablar con Pedro?" (Have you talked to Pedro?)

If Pablo was known for something, it was two things, his anger on the pitch and not having a filter when he speaks.

"No, hace mucho que no hablo con él." (No, it's been a long time without talking to him.)

He nodded, understanding.

"Pero, de hecho he querido hablar con él desde que regresé. No sé si quiera hablarme." (But, I've been looking to talk to him since I came back, but I don't know if he would talk to me)

"Pero vamos, claro que quiere" (c'mon, he obviously wants to)

You smile at his words.

"Deja darte el número, tuvo que cambiarlo porque en un entreno le hicimos mierda el movil" (let me give you his number, he had to change it since once during training we fucked his phone)

"No me sorprende, siempre se hacian mierda las cosas ustedes" (I'm not surprised, you guys always fucked your things)

He grabbed your phone, saving Pedro's number.

"Te he guardando el mio igual, por si alguna vez necesitas algo, acá estoy." (I saved mine too. If you ever need anything, I'm here)

You hugged goodbye as you both went different ways.

You hurry to the line, wanting to get home so you can tell Elena the news.

"Sabes que me encanta de Manchester, el ambiente es diferente a España, no sé cómo describirlo pero es diferente" Fernando says, looking around. (You know what I love about Manchester? The atmosphere is different. I don't know how to explain it, but it's different)

Pedro laughed, agreeing with him. Mario only nodded smiling.

"Bien, entonces dame unos días y te daré la respuesta, si?" (Okay, give me a few days, and I'll have the answer) Pedro says referring to the contract.

"Tomate una semana, meditalo y si tienes dudas podemos hablar, poner un pro y con sobre la mesa." (Take a week, meditate it, and if you have any doubts, call me up, and we can put all the pros and cons at the table to make up your mind)

After that, they changed the topic, talking about a game they were invited to, Fer and Mario were talking about one specific player and how he got a yellow card for something that was a clearly a red.

Pedro's mind was far away from that, seeing the text he got from Pablo.

She was back, and she wanted to talk with him.

He was out of breath, wanted to tell Fernando right away, but he knew better and wait for the night to be over.

As they entered the room, he grabbed his brother's shoulders, shaking him while screaming in happiness.

"Me vas a descalabrar capullo." (You're going to hurt me, idiot)

"Mira," he shows the text message.

Fernando is now screaming with him, happy for the news.

"A ver, calma ya" (okay, let's calm down), Fernando says, taking a few breaths. "Si te quiere ver y Pablo le dio tu número, ella te va a escribir, es obvio." (If she wants to see you and Pablo gave her your number, she'll text you, it's obvious)

And as Fer finished saying that, Pedro's phone lights up with a text from an unknown number.

Pedro checks it and screams, showing it to his brother, who screams with him.

(Hi,

I hope you're doing great. I'm sending you this message to let you know I'm in Barcelona and I'll like to meet up with you to talk.

-Y/n)

"Qué contesto?" Pedro says, full of nerves. (What can I text back?)

"Trae pa ca', tonto," he says, taking the phone from his brothers hand. (Give me that, morron)

(Hi

I like to see you, we can meet wherever, maybe somewhere more calm to avoid paparazzi)

Back in Barcelona, you and Elena are sitting in your couch, face to face.

"Ya contestó," you say excited. (He answered)

"A ver," Elena says, taking the phone from you. "Contesta" (let me see, answer him).

"No sé que poner," you say nervios. (I don't know how to answer)

"Ay, dame aquí, tonta" (give me that, idiot)

("Do you still living I'm the same place." "Yes, do you remember the address, or do you need the location?")

"Crees que recuerde?" Pedro asks, seeing the answer his brother sends. (Do you think she remembers?)

"Callate, déjame ver que responde," Fer says, seeing the three dots. (Shut up, let me answer)

("No, I do remember, what about tomorrow morning?" "I'll be back from Manchester tomorrow at noon. Let's meet at night, if that's okay with you.")

"Cierto que vi que estaba en Manchester," you say as you read the text, "Dile que si" (it's true, he's in Manchester, say yes)

"Calmate," Elena says. (Calm down)

("I'll see you tomorrow at night" "7 pm?" "Yes, " "I'll see you tomorrow. " "Goodbye, Pedro.")

Pedro and Fernando were looking at the last text.

"Niño" Fernando says, screaming and hugging his brother.

Pedro is excited. He was getting you back. No matter how hard, how much he has to fight or work, he's getting you back. He's putting that ring on your finger. He's getting that dream family.

What he didn't know is that on Barcelona, Elena, and you are jumping and screaming on the couch.

"Dios, estoy tan nerviosa." You say as you calm down. "Necesito que me lleves, por favor." (Gosh, I'm so excited. Please, I need you to take me)

"Obvio, tonta." (Obviously, dummy)

You both look and start screaming again, until a cry make you stop.

"Oops," Elena says.

You laugh and go to collect your baby. He was crying due to your screaming, mad because his dreams were interrupted.

"Ya, ya mi amor, ven acá." You say picking him up, calming him. "No sabes, tu papi y yo nos vamos a ver." You say as he calms down. "Y estoy nerviosa, espero mañana puedas conocerlo." (It's okay, love, come here. You have no idea. Daddy and I are meeting up, I'm nervous, and I hope you both can meet up tomorrow)

You kiss him. Taking him with you back to the living room.

"Vente." You say to Elena, "ayúdame a escoger el outfit." (Come, help me pick my outfit)

You feel like a teenager getting ready for her first date.

The butterflies, the nervousness in your system, and the excitement.

Tomorrow, you're getting that family you both dreamed about.

Tag list:

@alwaysclassyeagle @footballerficsposts @gulphulp @cinderellawithashoe @jajajhaahaha @bellinghambby22 @pablogavisgirl @lunamelona @christinabae @fadinglovermuffintaco 💛✨️

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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Curious about MCYT with a partner that's usually calm and collected, suddenly being super angry at someone bothering them, maybe almost fighting the person brothering them? (Btw i really love your writing, it's super fun to read!!)

ooooo okay !! I see the vision, hopefully I pulled it off LMAO ; also thank you so much!! that means so much to me, I feel like my writings really corny and dumb sometimes and too boring so thank you, it means a lot to me 🫶🫶🫶

MCYT ; fire in the twilight

includes ; tommyinnit, tubbo, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, & quackity

warnings ; language, talk about SA/perverts/men being weird

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

you're a very calm person

but when you get mad you get maddddd

he's surprised you haven't beaten the shit out of him yet

someone was being kinda weird at a meet and greet at vidcon and you were already stressed and overstimulated from taking pictures with everyone and signing merch and youtooz (guys should I try buying the slimecicle plushie? I don't wanna support a bad company but he's so cute :()

someone took a picture of you stretching where your shirt lifted a bit and showed off your midsection

Tommy saw and immediately called them out while you were taking a solo pic w a fan

when you heard him you just froze and nearly yelled

"Hey, please delete that. out of your trash too, seriously"

"Dude, fucking delete that shit. that's not okay, actually."

you end up nearly beating the shit out of the person....

then comes the Twitch apology 😭😭

you nearly went into a spiral explaining that it's never okay to take photos of ppl without them knowing, no matter when or where

he feels really bad for you but you're able to sit down and calm down to your usual self 🫶🫶🫶

TUBBO

you got really heated while you got matched up with a bigot random on valorant

you were playing with Tommy and Tubbo on squads

this mf set you OFF

they were talking some homophobic, transphobic, racist ass shit and you just lost it

you were READY for this bitch bro

Tommy and tubbo just sat back in silence because they knew you were gonna go off

"one, why do you trust your fuckass government so much?? two, your statements are completely wrong, it takes one google search. three, you're a bitch edge lord, four, no, I don't think I'm cool because I'm a streamer with a platform. five, you're completely wrong about gay people in general, you're doing the exact same thing being a Bible thumper right now. six, shut up! who fucking cares? how much of a loser do you have to be to hate people so much?"

the random just left out of embarrassment and you have to sit afk for a moment and catch your breath

"You okay, y/n?" tubbo asks

dude them and all your chats are worried about you bro

"yeah, sorry. that just... fuck, like, how are people so hateful?"

he reposts a clip of it on tik tok afterward LMAO

genuinley thanks you a little while after you properly calm down because it would've gotten bad if you didn't go off

gives you a little hug and stuff

"thanks for being my little guard dog"

RANBOO

you were getting fed up with how people were treating you and them online and just kinda lost it on stream

your chat was filled with assholes wondering where people were and why you hadn't publicly talked to them in over 12 hours and what your plans with everything were etc etc

"Dude, please stop. all of you. for weeks this has been going on, stop putting me and ranboo on these pedestals and expecting shit from us. seriously, it's horrible for both of us and our health. if you wanna see Tubbo or Tommy, go watch them! they're both live right now. Seriously, it's not funny and it's not gonna make us pump out more content and do what you want. we're people too, we get sad and burned out and tired. eventually content creation gets unfun and you won't get what you want. behave yourselves and do better. we don't owe you anything"

ranboo literally tears up a bit because he was watching the stream in the other room and could hear you, and you were visibly tearing up

you could feel your hands shaking and you just kind of ended the stream because you were so worked up and didn't wanna do it anymore

he immediately wrapped you in a hug because you were just so angry

gave you a pillow to punch and left you be for a while

you're usually very calm but your emotions exploded when you were bottling it up too much

they understood that but their heart bled for you after that, especially w all the hate that came from it :/

FREDDIE BADLINU

people were throwing things at you on stage during Tommy's live show

you played it off as jokes and were fine with jt because they were doing it sneakily in a fun way, roses, kandi bracelets, plushies etc, until someone threw their bra at you

"Okay, can we not?" You scrunch your eyebrows, looking into the crowd as you throw the bra back into the crowd. "That's fucked, don't ever do that again, learn event etiquette. never throw your bras on a fucking stage, it's weird and disgusting"

Freddie looks over at you, standing next to Tommy, giving you a "Holy shit are you okay?" look while also looking for the culprit trying to get their bra back

Tommy instantly stopped the show to reprimand the person

meanwhile Freddie was whispering to you to make sure you were okay

you were pissed but put your big kid pants on and continued the show

you apologized on Twitter after the show because you were really loud and kind of humiliated the people but you were justified with the situation

the people (and the girl who owned the bra) apologized and the situation was over

Freddie feels so bad bc you're so calm and laid back but ppl always have to test your limits :(

NIKI NIHACHU

people were filming you two out in public and taking pictures and you kinda lost it that they weren't listening to niki, telling them to kindly stop

"can you stop taking pictures? she's uncomfortable, please stop." you speak in a stern voice

the fans just like stare at you in shock because you're usually very calm and chill and you basically yelled at them (you reprimanded them because one it's the law two you both didn't want to be disturbed on your walk)

you're in a miserable mood the whole way home because yk how twitters gonna act when they see that

you quickly make a statement before any video leaks or anything, addressing the situation and apologizing to the strangers

ppl got ur back tho and showed support considering they were filming you on a nice walk without consent

she feels so bad seeing you get upset about it and feels like it's her fault

lots of reassuring her that it's never her fault and you're always happy to defend her and you don't mind getting a little loud to defend her

ALEX QUACKITY

you got really upset with someone harassing a bunch of creators during the qsmp Brazil meetup

"Dude, leave them alone. they don't want to take a picture with you and they don't owe you anything! you're being creepy to all those women right now, do you not realize that or something?"

you were furious seeing that many on your friends, even while on a trip, couldn't just not be harassed by men

the weirdo scurried off but you were literally this close to fighting the fucker

you were seething dude, like, shaking because you were so astonished someone could actually be that pushy and that much of a dick over a picture

Alex wrapped you in a tight hug and just squeezed you until you calmed down while the poor people who were harassed had reassured you that they were okay and that they appreciated and thanked you for standing up for them

Alex genuinley apologizes because the way you reacted just proved to him that you definitely are calm and laid back but when you got angry, you got angry

he feels so bad because you had to stand up for your friends and watch them be harassed and shit

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #tommyinnit x reader #ranboo x reader #quackity x reader #badlinu x reader #freddie badlinu x reader #niki nihachu x reader #nihachu x reader #alex quackity x reader #quackityhq x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #mcyt x gn reader #they/them reader

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aew-needs-to-do-better · 20 days

Text

Need I remind you that it was CM Punk who twisted the events at All In and said that he calmly approached Jack and said ‘he didn’t punch anybody’ or how it was Punk who leaked to Fiteful saying that Jack pushed and bumped Punk first and Punk retaliated with a chokehold? He waited until Jack calmly put his hands in his hair to throw a punch. Jack backed up. Then Punk grabbed Jack’s hair in order to put him in a headlock ie not a sleeper. Jack stepped out. And then Punk threw more punches before Joe, Hook, Hero, and the ref grabbed them both. Shit lasted a couple seconds. But not before Punk lunged at Tony and knocked over monitors. And no, this was not the incident that made Tony fear for his life. That happened after Punk’s match with Samoa Joe.

Jack Perry did nothing wrong.

Like it was Punk who leaked that story to Nick Hausman about the story regarding real glass to save face after he went on another tangent to burry Hangman Adam Page. That is why Jack was mad. He leaked a story that made Jack look bad so Punk could make himself look better. In hindsight, I am starting to believe it was Punk that was spreading stories about AEW like wildfire to the press. Before Punk, there were rarely any leaks that didn’t involve Sammy Guevara. It’s no wonder that since then, no story has been leaked. No locker room gossip. Nothing.

Punk was a condescending piece of shit in a company built on the idea that the type of hierarchy where top guys like Cena threatening Gabbi Tuft, then Tyler Reks. That is why Hangman broke script to begin with and what that promo was about. Punk kept needling at everyone backstage and bring a piece of shit. And Page saw the culture change with Punk openly disrespecting his peers and pushing people off of AEW like Colt Cabana and using his position to get his way.

Now I’m questioning Brawl Out. I starting to think that the Elite didn’t kick down that door and start that fight. Now I think hotheaded and paranoid Punk escalated that confrontation after the Elite went to his locker room. If Punk has shown those little tendencies to twist a story in his favor like saying Jack bumped into him or confronted him or threw the first punch or was condescending to him when we were just shown footage that it was Punk who did it, I am starting to think Punk was always the problem. In fact, him getting ousted from WWE the first time is starting to make sense. Punk is a carny piece of shit with a fragile ego.

Tony should have not punished Jack at all. He should have fired Punk from the jump.

Should the footage have been shown? Yes. Punk is a fucking lying narcissist who prides himself on being the realest yet he,under the guise of being some guiding veteran, tried to sabotage Perry’s career and reputation. For months, Jack has been made out like some little bitch and all he did was back away and let some 40+ year old man throw a tantrum. The Scapegoat moniker makes sense. Maybe they should have released it online.

They didn’t mention Punk once. The Bucks have been referencing Jack for weeks now since they started this EVP gimmick. Their angle was to accuse FTR of only beating them at All In because of what happened with Jack while redeeming Jack and welcoming him into the Elite. That’s the story. At the same time, it was petty. Will this convince Pepsiman diehards? No.

And this had nothing to do with WWE. It had to do with a former disgruntled employee who lied. Good fucking riddance.

That being said, this show was uncharacteristically mid. The Jerichoverse should die and Mox, Page, O’ Reilly, Thunder Rosa, or fucking someone should have had a ten minute match. The card was disappointing overall.

But regardless, we can stop creating fanfic about this stupid overblown event. If Punk were anyone else, he would have been blackballed from wrestling along with Teddy Hart. There is no excuse for attacking your fellow employee. If it were anyone else, Punk would have been arrested for assault.

Still would have preferred to see a Takeshita match.

#AEW #aew dynamite #cm punk #jack perry #all in #the elite #young bucks #ftr

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xonavia · 4 days

Note

Could I request Chigiri, Kaiser and Barou finding out their s/o gifting them a bouquet at one of their games?

Also so sorry anon but I don’t write for Barou as I’m not super comfortable making sure that he is written canonically! But I did write the other two!!

-> Michael Kaiser

-> After his match he was already on an adrenaline high not only after scoring the winning goal, but also knowing that you were sitting up the crowd waiting for him after

-> He quickly rushed out of the locker room after taking the faster shower known to man, and when you saw you standing there looking back out over the field holing a bouquet of flowers he could help but have a half smile half smirk on his face as he jogs over and hugs you from behind whispering in your ear

“I was pretty good, do you agree, Meine Liebe~?”

-> You quickly turn around and give him a hug making sure the flowers don’t get squished in the process and when you finally hand him then congratulation him on a good job he can’t help but be a little snarky looking back at all his team mates also leaving and kinda shoving it in their face that he has an amazing s/o and they don’t (please remind him not to be a douchebag)

-> does take one of the flowers out of the arrangement to give it back to you while kissing your hand (man is down bad for you, okay.)

-> Makes sure when he gets home to display them in the nicest place in his house and takes a picture and posts it online professing his love for you in the caption (again..)

-> Chigiri Hyoma

-> A little surprised to see you standing outside at one of his games waiting for him. Not that you never come to his games just that he knows you have a lot of work and it’s not often you see him after the game because of fans.

-> He will speed walk over to you standing there waiting for him and only smile when you notice him, and have a huge smile on your face

-> When you hand him the flowers he’s even more surprised, not that he doesn’t like them, of course not! Just wasn’t quite expecting them

-> But when you seem really excited that you found them before coming to the game he sighs and accepts them

-> He’ll also walk around the stadium with you for a little since he has some extra time (and if you do) and he’ll ask you about the game and if you heard anything funny from the people sitting around you (even if you know nothing about football/soccer he’s used to you making up names or using the wrong names for things so he can figure it out, also I feel like Chigiri would like to know the tea about things but not be in it, that’s why y’all as a couple just sit to the side and watch.)

-> Also when he gets home places then in a nice spot and posts on his private account with them, with a cute small message that is coded only for you to know<3

#blue lock x reader #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #michael kaiser x reader #Michael Kaiser #chigiri hyoma x reader #chigiri hyoma #xonavia's writings!

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mshroom1e · 1 year

Note

Hi! Could i request Ortho finding out that Idia's online friend and eventually crush is the reader? And eventually he tries to matchmake them?

Hello!! Sorry for disappearing for a whole 2 weeks 💀 I've been busy with life and I ended up writing this fic way longer than I ppanned to. I hope you don't mind! Also, I got really stuck on some parts and wasn't sure which direction to go with the story. Apologies if it feels a little rushed.

Pr0ject Cupid | Idia x GN! Reader

type: fanfic

Summary: A pair of painfilly awkward people get set up by a member of the said pair's little brother.

5.8k words

tags: silly fluff, mutual crushing

Warning(s): very mild swearing

no way u acc saw me

bruh i couldve seen you with my eyes closed

you dumbass u just contradicted yourself

no shit

im gonna shave your eyebrows

...

Idia stifled a laugh and couldn't hide the cheesy grin that grew on his face as his eyes read over the pixelated letters on his monitor. About 3 weeks ago, he met you on a random server, and you instantly clicked. He wasn't one to form bonds with people so quickly, whether it was online or in person, but with you, how could he resist?

You got along like Q and W on a keyboard, plus you always reciprocated his nerdy comments and never got the wrong idea about any of his intentions. The only problem was, however, that you had no idea who each other were irl.

So, one day, Idia got curious about who you really were. He ended up searching for you on Magicam using the username he knew you by. There wasn't really much he was expecting as people usually used different names for their social media compared to the more nerdy online stuff.

Idia nearly fell out of his chair when a search result popped up, and a profile with quite a few posts showed up. It was you. There was no way it wasn't you.

His heart began beating faster than usual just at reading your captions, posts of your random thoughts, and the pictures you posted. You were definitely cute, maybe the prettiest person Idia had ever seen. Even though your facial features were pixelated, you somehow managed to make them look soft and warm, like an angelic version of yourself. There were also many pictures of foods you made in the Ramshackle Dorm, selfies with your friends, and a few pictures with Grim.

Okay, now Idia was panicking. He'd never felt the way he felt right now, but from the way his heart was running a marathon and he could feel warmth slowly creeping up his face, there was only one explanation. The description matched how the characters in dating sims would feel, and this was bad. He couldn't have a cru- no no no, a c-word. No way! He didn't even want to think of the word because it would only solidify his predicament in his head.

From his panic, his finger slipped and accidentally liked one of your posts. Idia's eyes widened as he saw the damage he'd already done as his brain went into full panick mode. There was no way to undo it, even if he un-liked the post. The notification must've already gotten to your phone and you would've noticed most likely and you'd block him, think he was a stalker and never speak to him again then he'd be become even more emo and-

He changed from his usual question mark posture in his chair to sitting in a fetal position in the corner of his room, hoping for the atoms in his body to slowly merge into the wall.

His phone in his pocket vibrated, and when Idia pulled out the device to see what the notification was, his heart nearly collapsed on itself. A flinch of his arm caused his phone to be launched across his room, and for some reason, he jumped to catch it, landing on a large, disorganised pile of manga with a loud crash. He hastily unlocked his phone to see what the alert was.

'Your EP has been restored!'

Damn.

There was a smooth sliding of the door to Idia's dorm room. Ortho stood? floated? levitated? at the entrance with a confused, yet worried expression in the visible part of his face.

"Idia? I heard a loud crash, and I was worried you got injured," Ortho floated closer to his brother.

"I'm f-fine!" Idia yelped.

'Hair tinted pink, increasing heart rate, flushed cheeks,'

Ortho's eyes drifted over to Idia's several monitors until he focused on a certain one.

"Yuu's Magicam profile?"

The little robot pieced two and two together before he said, "Oh, you like [Name], don't you?"

This was a really, really, really bad idea...

Idia's internal panick only escalated as he was dragged walking through campus with Ortho. Leaving his dorm room usually resulted in a one-sided fight for his life as every dialogue scene he had with another person besides his brother was set to hard mode by default.

Speaking with you in person was the best way to get to know each other better, Ortho would say. The problem was, Idia knew that you didn't know who he was, so it would probably be strange to suddenly have him speaking to you.

He was lost in his panicky thoughts when he felt someone bump into him, and he felt his body tipping back. (So unique and never seen before, I know.)

A hand quickly grabbed his wrist, hoisting him back upright. Ortho sent you a beaming smile with his eyes before quickly disappearing and leaving you alone with his brother, leaving the beanstalk to fend for himself.

Idia's heart nearly flipped in his stomach as he met your eyes. You let go of his wrist when he regained his balance, he almost fell over again.

"Careful," you smiled.

In his eyes, you looked like a panel from a manhwa where the love interest was introduced with flowers, sparkles, and glitter radiating around them.

"S-sorry," He managed to spit out, somehow sounding cohesive.

"It's okay, I just hope you didn't get hurt, I tend to grab onto stuff a little too tightly," you said with a sheepish chuckle.

Your laugh. Idia's ears felt blessed with such a delicate angelic sound. Like bells chiming in his ears, more harmonic than the songs from his favourite idol group's no.1 album. His heart was sent into overdrive, and he couldn't take it anymore and decided on the most rational option in his currently mushy brain.

To run.

So he ran.

You watched his retreating form with a fond look before you turned to face Ortho, who hid in a nearby bush and sent him a thumbs up.

This was progress, at least.

- A few days ago -

You had a crush on Idia. A huge one at that. There was no debate. You didn't even bother denying it.

You knew he rarely left his dorm room, so you barely saw him during the day. Seeing a flash of flamey blue hair dart around a corner just before you could fully get a look at the twitter logo-coloured candle always managed to make your heart squeeze and an undefeatable grin etch itself on your face.

Of course, a few days into talking to your new online friend, you already knew of his true identity but chose not to inform him of the fact. From what you'd seen on campus, he was the type of person to prefer engaging with others through the comfort of a screen rather than conversing face to face. And honestly, you couldn't blame him at all. It must've felt so stifling to always be conscious of the way you carried yourself, while choosing words carefully to not offend the person in front of you or make them think badly of you while simultaneously looking like a sane, functioning person.

So, you talked to him like an online friend would. After a few days of getting to know each other through public servers and direct messaging, you soon shared your interests and found common ground in a few of them. For example, you both were addicted to gacha games with diabolocal pity systems. He also started to open up to you, though you thought it was a little fast, but people tend to share a lot when speaking to someone through pixels on a screen as they felt more at home. He talked about his struggles when interacting with people and his constant anxiety about how people perceived him.

Being someone of minimal social intelligence, the most you could do was offer some general words of comfort about how everyone was different in their own way and some people are just more advantaged in certain aspects of life, social interaction being one of them.

As your feelings grew, you couldn't help but feel like your relationship was a little one-sided. You knew who exactly you were talking to, but as far as Idia knew, he was talking to and building a relationship with a person who could've been miles and miles away and he also barely knew who [Name] was.

Man, this really sucked.

- Yesterday -

Ortho was smart. It was only obvious since his mechanical brain had the efficency of a computer with infinite RAM. He knew his brother had met a new friend online, which explained his less gloomy aura and his anxious glances at his phone whenever they were in his room together.

It didn't take long for Ortho to learn that the person Idia was talking to also attended the same school. In his mind, he viewed finding out things about you as a way to further protect his older brother from harm.

Fast forward to later that day, Ortho cornered found you in the courtyard after you'd lost a bet with Grim and had to buy him a drink from a nearby vending machine.

He called out to you enthusiastically as he practically teleported to you, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Long story short, Ortho figured out how you felt about Idia, and he was over the moon. His brother finally had someone who he could happily spend time with, and he couldn't be happier for him. He knew Idia better than anyone, and it was certain that getting close to Idia in face-to-face terms would take a lot for him to get used to and he decided it would be best to slowly ease your way into making conversations with him without being forceful or overwhelming him.

Thus began your joint conspiracy to rizz up get to know Idia better.

- Present -

It took about a day for you to come to the conclusion that you'd most likely never see Idia during school hours whether he was on campus or not. Your schedules were so unmatched that it was ridiculous. When you had a lesson in the alchemy labs, he'd be in a P.E lesson and when you were in the history of magic, he'd be in some classroom that might as well be at the other side of Sage's Island.

Luckily for you, Ortho informed you about Idia's current whereabouts. He was in the Board Game Club's classroom, probably playing- you guessed it- board games. It felt like some sort of secret stealth mission, plotting where to catch Idia with Ortho so sneakily. You just hoped that this silly plot would work.

Now that you were in front of the clubroom's door, you had no idea what to do. Your brain already left your body shortly after your heart that was beating a mile a minute and had long since jumped out of your chest to who knows where. You'd worked so hard to get to this point (not really) and now that you were here, what were you going to do?

Showing up at his clubroom unannounced totally sounded like stalker behaviour from some poorly written fanfic, and you definitely were not about that life. What if you just entered casually? Did you have a friend in the board game club? Probably not since you didn't even know the names of the people in your homeroom class, save for Adeuce and Grim.

Deciding to swallow your nerves and whatever other anxiety that was clogging your airways, you calmly slid open the door. Surprisingly, the club had quite a few members present, but it wasn't too densely populated. Your eyes immediately lit up when familiar floaty blue flames caught your attention. He was alone on a table next to one of the room's walls. His usual board gaming partner, Azul, was nowhere to be seen. It was safe to assume he was somewhere exploiting some poor unfortunate soul of all their mortal possessions with his buy-one-get-one-free pair of henchmen.

You approached Idia, more nervous than a turkey the day before Thanksgiving. He noticed you and almost jumped out of his own skin.

Was he dreaming? If not, why else would you show up at the board game club? Before he knew it, he started to sweat. Every step you took closer to him made his poor heart run laps. The confident (Idia's POV. This does not accurately reflect current events.) stride in your step, and the smile you gave him as you approached made his face heat up, and the tips of his hair grow warmer. His flight- please there is absolutely no fight- instinct almost took over as he considered running out of the room at full speed.

There was no Ortho to help him communicate if he ended up having to talk to you. He was all alone for this pop-up Pokemon battle.

A random board game caught your eye, and you picked it up, deciding to use it as a shield to not let your conversation get stabbed in the chest by the painful spear called awkwardness.

"Hi, Idia." You said casually with your usual grin. 'Great start'

You failed to catch Idia's mortified expression as it disappeared as suddenly as it arrived. He opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't get any words out. To his surprise, you didn't seem to mind his silence and just sat down in the chair across from his.

"Sorry to bother you," you continued, "If you want me gone, just say the word." The second part was intended to be lighthearted as you let out a low chuckle after you were done talking.

He quickly scrambled into his bag and pulled out a slim, grey tablet, and began to type.

"I don't mind you being here at all, [Name]." A voice from the device's speakers that sounded too much like Idia's said. You weren't all too shocked since you'd seen him use it around school a few times and had even seen the thing floating around campus by itself. You'd just never have a conversation with "it".

"Woah, is that a voice program?Did you make it yourself? I've only seen it being used for vocaloids, and even those mess up a few times. Did you use a sample of your voice? Is everything prerecorded? If you-" You blurted out, quickly smacking a hand over your mouth to shut yourself up before you could ramble any further.

Great job, [Name].

Idia's eyes lit up with surprise at your words as he quickly started typing something on his screen. His features moulded into a proud smirk, "Yeah, it's made with a sample of my voice. I made it using a vocaloid as a reference."

"Really?!" You almost jumped out of your seat, eyes practically shining with stars. Gosh, he really was so cool.

He nodded frantically as the tips of his firey hair faded into a warmer hue. Students in his dorm had the same base interests as he did. However, he was almost always too nervous to initiate a conversation with any of them. But with you, the nervousness he felt didn't try to suffocate him for once and instead felt like a sweet, comfy flutter in his chest.

"I found this when I walked into the room, and it looked fun. Wanna play?" Your short exchange feuled you with a little more confidence as you built the courage to ask him to play a board game with you.

You hadn't even looked at the game's cover before picking it up. Imagine your surprise at finding out you'd picked up "Monopoly Bass Fishing Edition".

Great job.

Now, Idia probably saw you as some weird fish-obsessed kid (no offence to Octavinelle) who probably looked up how to make bass fishing bait in their spare time. The cover was hideous. A massive bass fish was in the middle, surrounded by loops of smaller bass fish all saying things in speech bubbles where the letters were modelled to look like bass fish. To top it all off, there was a massive glittery title in the colour of neon orange that said, "Monopoly: Bass Fishing Edition." Underneath in equally as eye tormenting sentence bordered off by a wiggly pink line that read "Get ready to be schooled!" Get it? Coz groups of fishes are called schools-

This was going to be painful.

You liked to think you knew all the rules of Monopoly by heart. Especially after seeing relationships crumble over the neverending board game.

Idia didn't seem phased, so you assumed he already knew the rules of the game, too.

You played for a bit, taking turns to roll a double to see who could start first. The first to roll a double was eventually Idia, so he took the first turn.

You knew Idia was competitive from the way he would obliterate the opposition during your online meet-ups in matches. What you didn't expect was to end up going bankrupt after only a few loops around the board. It took a while for you to accept defeat, but after seeing the small, triumphant smile that gently made its way onto Idia's face, any loss was worth it.

Now that you looked around the room, most of the board game club members had long since departed, and it was only you and your blue-haired friend left in the room. A blanket of quiet and slight awkwardness fell over the two of you as you both looked at anything but each other.

"We should uh, but the pieces away," you suggested.

He looked at you, a little surprised at your sudden breach of silence, before he quickly nodded. "R-Right."

After stiffly putting the pieces away, occasionally flinching when the tips of your fingers made contact as you passed some game pieces between yourselves, there wasn't much else for you to do despite twiddling your thumbs. From an outsider's point of view, the aftermath was painfully awkward as neither of you had anything to say. Sitting in silence wasn't always a bad thing, but come on.

Your brain frizzled as you tried to think of something, anything to say to start a conversation.

"Nice weather we're having today." So creative.

As if the universe was saying a big "f*ck you", there was a loud rumble of thunder outside the window before massive raindrops began to smack on to the grass and pavement outside, each with a louder 'plap!' than the previous one each time.

Idia giggled before trying to hold back a laugh, which eventually turned into even more giggles. You stared at him for a few seconds, stunned. You hadn't actually heard him laugh before as he always looked so terrified around you. Sure, he was laughing at your stupidity, but this was a start, right?

It didn't take long for you to join in, laughing at yourself too.

Maybe coming to his clubroom on impulse wasn't so bad after all.

"Sam's store is releasing this SSR-tier set of trading cards today, and I have to go get it," Idia muttered to himself as he scurried down a hallway of the Ignihyde dorm. "No one's gonna that early, especially since it's not gonna attract any normies-"

"But what if there's a whole mob of NPCs there? Worst case scenario is a few of them showing up to do some early morning shopping, so grabbing what I need and skidadling outta there is gonna be ez."

Ortho was most likely in his room resting at this hour, so Idia decided not to bother him. Besides, it was only a trip to the school store. He should be fine, right?

Wrong.

It was not ez peasy.

It just happened to be that the same day Idia's treasured ultra rare cards were released on the same day as Sam's new mystery drink that the whole school went crazy for. By the time Idia was about to leave the store after paying for what he came for, the whole area was packed, and it was almost impossible to move. Waves of students rushing to the till after grabbing a bottle of the new beverage washed over the store grounds.

People, people, people, and more people. Sweaty teenagers seemed to fight tooth and nail just to get their hands on a bottle. It was like the kids from the UK when Prime was launched. (iykyk) Everywhere he turned, he seemed to bump into another 3 people and get elbowed by another five. The sheer power of the crowd almost swept him off his feet, and he felt himself being dragged to the opposite direction from where he was headed. He reached his hand out to grab at something, while the other held his cards close to his chest, but there was nothing to hold onto for support. The only option was to become one with the crowd.

As he was about to give up and accept his fate, his outstretched hand was tugged on by a familiar, gentle yet firm grip, which felt like he was being pulled ashore after drifting off into the ocean. Idia's body was pulled upright and into a much less crowded space. A pleasant warmth spread across his chest as he saw the face of his saviour.

A part of him felt mortified while the other felt relieved. He was glad to have been pulled out of the sea of people, but he felt a little lame to have to have been saved by someone else, as if he couldn't handle himself. Another reason, the more obvious one, was because it was you. In his point of view, you always showed up at random times and ended up helping him without realising how much of an impact your actions held.

"I'm getting this feeling of deja vu," you smiled, leading Idia to a bench opposite the store.

"You helped me again-" Idia muttered, his eyes downcast.

You tilted your head, a little confused, "Hm?"

"N-No, it's not that I have a proble-" He cut himself off, "I, um-"

How did he manage to talk himself into a corner like this? Trying to talk to you felt like a puzzle with the myriad of emotions all rushing through his head at once, and he was bound to mess up somewhere.

"Don't sweat it," you responded. Your smile unwavering.

For whatever reason, Idia's anxious jumble of words never phased you. Your willingness to let him take his time when talking to you gave him a sort of confidence, and he could hope to speak with confidence that he didn't even know he was capable of.

A ray of reflected early morning sunlight that bounced off the shiny packaging of what Idia held securely in his hands and it caught your eye.

"Is that (insert game reference here)?!" Your voice cracked as you said the name of the franchise.

The mood was instantly lightened at your change in focus, and Idia felt himself get giddy. He was so happy to share a conversation with someone who wasn't a so-called "normie."

His excitement faded though, a bit, when he looked up to find that you looked slightly disappointed. You looked at Idia in confusion, but shrugged.

You sighed, looking away.

Why were you disappointed? Was it something he did? Oh no, what if you thought he was lame for getting trapped in a crowd like that, and you actually thought he was such a bother the whole time-

"I still haven't managed to get my hands in a copy," you frowned.

"Oh," He sounded stunned, which confused you. "Um, I-" He swallowed, fighting the urge to pull his hood over his head and hide.

"I mean-" Idia's eyes seemed to glance at everything and everywhere other than at you.

His breath caught in his throat, and the feeling multiplied by a gazillion when he saw Ortho watching him from behind a tree. He almost choked on whatever air he'd just managed to inhale into his trachea.

To make matters worse, Ortho held a cute but terrible made neon blue glittery banner that said, "Talk to them, Idia!!!"

Wasn't he resting?

The poor nerd (affectionate) wanted to evaporate on the spot.

"What were you about to say?" You asked, not seeing the silliness behind you.

Idia glanced back and forth between you and Ortho, wishing with every single bone in his body that the 50/50 gacha in front of him right now would go his way and you wouldn't turn around at all.

Imagine his horror when you followed his worryingly mortified gaze, and he saw our eyes widen a fraction, and you slapped a hand over your mouth.

"Ortho?"

He panicked for a good few seconds before he did what he did best and bolted away from you with a stubborn blush creeping up his neck.

"Huh?Wait up!" You called after him, but it was futile.

Ortho soon waved happily at you as he followed Idia back to what you assumed was the Ignihyde dorm.

"Where did you-" Idia began, speedwalking to the Hall of Mirrors with more agility than he knew his G-fuel filled body could possess.

"I did some research, and it showed that people your age have a 60% more chance at talking to someone they like when they're encouraged by someone else!" Ortho chirped with the certainty of the sun rising in the east.

"I'm not- It's not-" Idia couldn't find the words to use to retort at his younger brother. The way his sunny amber eyes shimmered with glee was enough to punch the words of protest that Idia could ever muster right down the drain. "J-Just tone it own a notch next time..." He finished with a small frown.

"Okay!" Ortho sang, floating into Ignihyde's mirror after the older Shroud.

Idia signed and pulled the strings of his hoodie tighter to conceal his face more. Now that you were somewhat aware of how he felt about you, he had no idea how to face you the next day.

It had been over a week, and you'd gotten no contact from Idia or Ortho. It was safe to assume that Idia probably didn't leave his room a single time in that time frame. A metaphorical banner was built between you as he had practically gone AWOL on everything you could use to contact him. So, you couldn't even talk to him with your online persona and try to understand how he felt by hoping he'd confide in his online bestie even a little. Not that you wanted to intrude on his privacy, but the fact that things seemed to be falling apart between you two before you properly even got to know each other hurt a lot more than th fact that you convinced yourself of- the fact that it looked like he didn't want to see you again. You sighed, closing your computer.

This was pointless. No doubt, he doesn't feel the same way towards you, and you really should start accepting it. Maybe he thought you were strange? Or it was creepy that you always seemed to be around when he was in trouble? Maybe he thought you were a stalker? He'd probably figured out your online identity and blocked you, hence the lack of activity on any of his accounts over the last week and a bit.

But you couldn't accept it. Not until you know more, and you don't think it'll help if you keep prying at the subject, especially since it won't do any good in the end. It was useless to keep trying. You grabbed your phone and checked the screen for any messages, but there were none. You put it back on the nightstand and turned on your side, burying your face in your pillow.

You lay there for what felt like forever and eventually fell asleep.

Morning soon arrived, and you woke up to a series of knocks at the main door of Ramshackle Dorm. The quick thuds of knuckles striking wood resounded throughout the whole bottom floor of the building, probably enough to alert your cat roommate out of his venture into Dream Land.

The perpetrator was definitely unexpected. It was a fine weekend, and you hadn't been expecting a visit from anyone at all, especially not the younger Shroud brother.

Rubbing your eyes and letting out a yawn as you opened the door, you had to squint to see something else other than a mop of flickering blue and a white block.

"Ortho?" You blinked. Your statement sounded more like a question to yourself than to the other party.

"Good morning!" Ortho said cheerfully, waving with one arm while balancing an assortment of books and various games under the other. He was carrying four plastic bags full of stuff, including a large bowl with some cereal, milk, eggs, toast, fruit, and orange juice inside it.

"Err..." you replied.

"We came to hang out!" Ortho cheered, which confused you even more.

"What? And who's 'we'??" You questioned all at once, not even knowing where to begin.

"Idia wants to apologise for running away from you for the past week. He said he's really sorry and did it because he was scared," he rambled on with his usual cheery tone and pointed to a nearby tree, "And we brought food!"

Behind said tree stood said Idia, holding onto the tree's bark with a grip for dear life while only the top half of his face peeked out.

What.

- Flashback to earlier -

"Now, what do I do? This is demon mode difficult- I'd rather fight Absolute Virtue from the original release of FF11 all over again for 16 hours straight than face them again... Can I get an F in the chat for this one..." Idia mumbled to himself in a string of incomprehensible gibberish as he sat in a fetal position at the corner of his room while his hood covered his entire head, and he rocked back and forth.

"This is the worst-"

"Cheer up, Idia!" Ortho handed him a charger, "You can always talk to them online if it helps!"

"At this point, they've probably forgotten about me. People's online friends get Men in Black'ed from their brains all the time. I'll just look like some weird guy that goes,'Hey kids!wanna to get free RAM for your computer?' or something-" his rampant thoughts only dug him further into his self-made pit of despair.

"Hmm," Ortho pondered, "Let's go see them!"

"Are you kidding?! No way!" He shook his head rapidly and started rocking himself even faster, "If they don't see me, maybe they'll even forget I exist and I can become one with the void..."

"Don't be ridiculous, Idia. We can go see them right now!" Ortho hovered around, gathering a bunch of gaming equipment and books, "Hanging out like friends will get rid of any tension in the air!"

"No!" Idia protested, but it was too late.

He'd already been picked up by a robotic arm, and off they went.

"That's pretty much what happened," Ortho recalled as you lead the pair the lounge.

"Right... But I still don't get how that means he's sorry..." You muttered.

"Why don't you tell them, Idia?" Ortho looked at his brother, "I'll leave you two to talk here while I make some snacks!"

The older Shroud twiddle his fingers and stared at the floor, his hood still covering his head.

It took a few seconds of silence before Idia began talking.

"Uh," he spoke quietly and cleared his throat twice before proceeding, "I was so stupid."

"Huh?" You said, gaping at Idia.

"I know I've done stupid things, but this was beyond stupid. Like, way too stupid! Noob at Subway Surfers level of stupid!" He babbled on, his voice cracking with uncharacteristic emotion.

He took a deep, shaky breath and closed his eyes, attempting to compose himself. His hair turning pink. "I kept telling myself it was okay for us to keep being friends online even though I found your Magicam page and accidentally liked one of your posts and knew who you were but you didn't know who I was and I felt guilty and then you suddenly showed up then I realised I l-l-like you and then that thing at the shop happened and you probably thought it was so cringe-"

Then it clicked. So he thought you thought he was weird? He didn't hate you.

It felt like a huge weight was lifted off your chest.

Then, you chuckled, snickered, giggled, then let out waves of laughter. Idia stared at you, dumbfounded.

"This whole time, haha, I thought I was the one who did something wrong."

"No! You didn't," He quickly jumped in.

"Wait, you just said that you like me...?" You pointed to yourself, and you felt your face grow warm.

Silence landed like a wall of pure steel between the two of you.

He gaped at you with wide eyes. Dang it! He seriously didn't mean to blurt that part out loud. Curse him and his tendency to blab everything he thought aloud as soon as he started talking!

Idia covered his reddened face with his hands.

"What a coincidence," you smiled, "Since I like you too."

You gently pulled his hands away from his face and gave him your brightest grin. He froze as soon as your skin made contact, and his breathing quickened, his hair turned a full, passionate pink.

"Ahahahaha...!" He stammered.

A sudden noise filled both the room, followed by a long silence, causing the both of you to turn towards the source. Your heads turned in sync to see Ortho standing at the door with a camera after it let out a painfully loud 'click!'

He gave the pair of you a huge smile with his eyes.

"For memories' sake!" He cheered.

Bonus

After you'd made breakfast together with the ingredients that the brothers brought, you, Idia and Ortho, sat in a triangle on the floor, while Grim watched lazily from the sofa. It was more of a joint interrogation performed against the little robot with Grim serving as an audience.

"So, Ortho, you knew Idia already knew who I was?" You raised an eyebrow, "And you knew about how he felt??"

"And you already knew that they liked me? And you knew they knew who I was and didn't tell me??" Idia squeaked, "And you told them to come to the store that day?!"

Ortho picked up a controller and was suddenly immersed in gameplay.

"Haha..." He sweatdropped.

414 notes · View notes

justatypicalwizard · 8 months

Text

Late night frustration | Bakugo Katsuki

✦ Bnha characters have their quirks but they are all secret heroes living a doubble-life. Katsuki has a had crush on you but instead of asking you out on a date he's stuck listening to you fangirling over Red Riot. Out of frustration he decided to do something very stupid.

✦ Word count: 2,5k

✦ Warnings: none

Secret hero Dynamite on rampage once again [see video]

Stupid fucking media. They just don’t give a time of the day to check how it all happened. All they see are Mina’s boobs and Eiji’s smile. Bakugo grunted while scrolling through a bunch of shorts featuring yesterday's secret hero action. They all showed the two mentioned earlier in a glorifying light or his, not so subtle, bursting out of the convenience store, glass shattering behind him as he grabs the thief by the collar.

Apart from being a college student Bakugo lives a double-life as a secret hero. How did he get his powers? No one knows, including himself. The same with Mina, Kirishima and Denki. There were a bunch of other people who rolled out on the streets after sunset with masked faces but he didn’t know them all, he didn’t care. It's not like he ever even agreed to the idea, his friends convinced him that they should all use their powers to save the world. Honestly he just saw this as an opportunity to manifest his quirk, otherwise too destructive to play with. Over time he got fed up with what people talked about him, he’s not gonna lie, at some point such an amount of hate would touch anyone. Yet, he didn’t stop, didn’t hide behind a fake personality denying he even has any powers. He got out every second night and did what he’s done for years now.

A bag dropping near his face tore him out of his thoughts bubble. Looking up he spotted your smile as you sat down opposite of him, the well used wooden chair creaked under your ass. There was one more reason why he kept trying all the time. After every night action he waited with gritted teeth for your excited text sending him an awesome video of Dynamite that you just found and fell in love with. He wanted you to fangirl over Dynamite so he could drop by in the middle of the night, take his mask off and tell you that it’s him, he’s the secret hero that you’re in love with. But it never came. You never said a positive word about his alter ego, either being neutral or agreeing with some of the opinions on his brutality and carelessness.

Yet, how could you know better? You were not there last night with the shop owner, an old man too shocked to mumble anything into the microphone after onlookers and reporters flooded the crime scene. You didn’t hear him when he grabbed Bakugo by the sleeve just as he was about to run and thanked him. You didn’t know that the old man was grateful, claiming that the window was nothing, repairing it will cost less than what the thief was about to steal. Of course none of them heard that because Katsuki always gets those compliments off-scene. Noone ever listens to the actual victims, they have a forged history that will match their shitty profiles and online channels.

“Did you see yesterday’s action?” Quite close up actually, princess.

“Mhm.” He mumbled, opening a random book to quickly end the topic.

“There’s a lot of shots of Dynamite breaking that window. I mean, I get that he has a very destructive power but was it really necessary to catch the thief bursting through the glass? Maybe he could run up to him on the streets?” And what would it change? Then he’d blast a car standing on the roadside or a street lamp and they aren’t that cheap either! “Well, at least he got the criminal.” Oh finally, some scarce words of compliment. “But look at that, look, look.”

He nearly grabbed your hand as you started to wave it in front of his face. It was a short featuring Red Riot flexing as he ran to help Bakugo tackle down the thief. It was unnecessary as Bakugo’s explosive hand was already on the criminal's neck which paralysed the guy with fear. Yet, Eiji always wanted to help. He sincerely didn’t do it for attention, he just always wanted to make sure he did the best he could. How can he stand back and watch? It was him who handed the tief to the police. Bakugo already learned that they were not keen on being close to Dynamite so it was always Eiji talking to them. That’s how he stole the whole spotlight of the previous night, he jumped on the already disarmed thief, picked him up and handed him to the police. Simple as that. And yet it had you squeaking and scrolling through more phone-made shots from different angles, all painfully exposing Eiji’s flexing muscles in the scarce suit he wore.

“Red Riot is so hot. I can’t believe he lives somewhere there as a normal person.” Oh he actually lived very close by. Your Red Riot was just a few tables away, chewing on a pencil, sweating over a simple maths equation.

Bakugo was seriously in awe that people didn’t see that bulked form in Kirishima. It was obviously good that his cover never blew but apart from covering his face and hair during actions Kiri was nearly all on display. In the daytime he also didn’t bother covering too much, always wearing a hugging shirt that would show off his tremendous muscles. Guess the mass doesn’t really look for the heroes, they just admire them and later forget that they actually exist as said normal people.

“I would totally fuck Red Riot stupid.”

This was enough. Having someone you love, I mean have a crush on, whatever, talking about fucking a different guy in you very face was too much for Bakugo.

“You know what, I got a text from mom, I need to go.” The blonde stood up, pushing the chair from under his knees with such a force it nearly fell down. He looked at your surprised face as you mumbled a ‘okay’ and that you’d ‘do the assignment they were both due’.

As much as Bakugo wanted to spend time with you, he also couldn’t listen to what you said, a painful feeling aching in his chest.

Later that evening Bakugo found himself sitting on a roof, looking at the city below him. It wasn’t supposed to be a patrol night but he couldn’t sit at home, he had to do something, anything to take his mind off of the earlier talk. Eijiro didn’t even do anything bad but the blonde was furious with him. If he saw that dumb face he’d punch him, which of course he didn’t want to do so he distanced himself for the time being.

A cool breeze grazed his form, sneaking under his masked face. He certainly didn’t like the cold, it made him slower and weaker but autumn was taking over. He saw it in your coat, you picked a new one, a warmer one. You wrapped it around yourself tightly, hiding your chin into the large collar. Oh, you were there, again.

Bakugo leaned over the edge of the roof to see you better. It was past sunset, the yellow light of the street lamps giving your silhouette a golden hue. You were walking down a narrow lane in the middle of the park. You must be heading from some shop as your hands were wrapped around big paper bags.

If not his earlier outburst maybe he could have been next to you. Maybe he’d lie that he doesn’t have anything to do and he can go to the shop with you. You’d spend the evening fooling around in some shopping mall, maybe take out something to eat and he could pretend, just for a second, that you were his girlfriend. Later he’d walk you home and give you a goodbye hug because that’s what friends do. And he would keep you close just a split second longer, so that you don’t notice.

Nothing would come true if he keeps on ditching you for the sake of his own anger. So what if you’re fangirling over Red Riot? You’re not stupid enough to fall in love with the unreachable secret hero. Yet, Bakugo couldn’t shake off the creeping feeling that you could meet Eiji at some point, at a party with your mutual friends and talk to him. You could talk to him a lot, laughing at his shitty jokes, unconsciously brushing his biceps with your hand because of course you’d like him. The redhead is a funny, charming himbo that girls love. If Bakugo would sit down on the couch and watch your interaction for afar then he’s sure that Eiji would put down his hand on the counter behind you, narrowing the space between your bodies. He’d flirt with you jokingly just as he does best up to the point when you both sneak out of the party. Then he’d give you a night you’ll never forget because Bakugo knows damn well what girls say after spending an evening with Kirishima. Maybe Eiji would break it to you that he’s Red Riot and after that he’d never get rid of you. It’s a dream come true. For you. A nightmare for Katsuki.

He actually had to cough because the clench in his chest and the turn in his stomach became unbearable. He felt hurt, as if everything that he just imagined actually happened. As if you were already Eiji's girlfriend. He just wanted you so badly right now that he actually leapt down from the roof down onto the park lane, catching your attention with the small explosions.

Katsuki knew that who you saw approaching you right now was Dynamite. He saw the shock in your eyes as they focused on him but not fear. Good, because he was about to do something very stupid.

Bakugo closed the space between you with a few long strides. He grabbed the puffy collar of your coat and with his other hand slid up his mask, just enough to plant his lips onto yours. Katsuki was not innocent, not even a bit. If he was going to kiss you as Dynamite, so that you never know what actually happened, he was going to do it good.

Your lips were already parted, they never actually closed after seeing the secret hero cross your path. Bakugo used it to his advantage, slipping his tongue inside to taste you, grazing his teeth over your lower lip. He swore you moaned quietly but maybe he just imagined it getting way too horny. You were soft, no matter where he grabbed you. Unfortunately it was the coat, it secured you from his touch and he silently cursed it was late autumn and not summer.

Finally he let go of you and you stumbled a bit backwards. Before you could ask any questions he ran away, leaving you gaping behind him.

Bakugo could already imagine the sexual assault headlines after you tell everyone Dynamite kissed you out of nowhere. Or maybe you would first talk to him about it. Either way his hero name was already stained enough so that one more spot won’t change anything. But he did it, he kissed you, he felt it. Now he can play it over and over in his mind, fixating on your taste. Hope he never forgets. But he also felt guilty. He basically stole it away from you and that’s not how he wanted to have the first kiss with you.

Katsuki wandered the streets for some time before the emotions overflooded him and he found himself heading towards Mina’s crumpled up college flat. He just had to yell at someone, to someone. He’d throw it all on Eiji once more, complaining how his crush fangirls over Red Riot, the same as usual. Mina was well aware of the whole drama.

As quiet as possible he jumped up and up until he reached the window of her unused room. It was open, as always, and he flew through it, landing on the floor, tearing his mask off.

“Racoon fucking eyes…” He was just about to start when he dropped his mask to the ground.

Instead of Mina he saw someone else, someone he really didn’t want to see now. It was you, standing in the middle of the room, picking something out of the same paper bag you carried earlier. Now that he saw it up close it had a print of a home supplies shop. You looked at him, eyes wide as ever, mouth gaping once again.

You were not stupid so of course he couldn’t make you think it was all a dream but he honestly didn’t have any better idea right now.

“Bakugo?” You asked, standing up and walking to him, your scrutinising eyes scanning his costume. “What the fuck? You’re Dynamite?”

Of course you were quick to connect the dots, who wouldn’t when he saw his best friend fly up the window with the, oh so well known, explosions.

“You’re, but, how? Why?” You looked like you didn’t know what to ask about.

“Okay, shut it, I’ll explain the whole damn hero thing…” The blonde also started to throw words at you with the speed of a machine gun.

“What? Hero? Why did you kiss me an hour ago?”

That’s not what he expected. You were more concerned with the kiss than with him being Dynamite? He didn’t know whether he liked it. It would be way easier to explain his secret hero life than what he did that said hour ago.

“I…” No words came out of his throat as he looked at you, at your face, tense and focused.

“Why did you kiss me Katsuki?”

“Because I’m in love with you okay, fuck it.”

“What?”

“I’m. In. Love. With. You.” He spat out every word. “And after hearing, once again, how you’d fuck Red fucking Riot today I had enough. It’s always Red Riot this and Red Riot that, but no one cares about the fact that it was me who caught the thief. Why don’t you just go and actually fuck Red Riot. Now that you know I’m Dynamite might as well just show you the way to his fucking apartment…”

Bakugo didn’t have the chance to end his rumble because he felt the familiar taste once again. You were pressing him up the windowsill, your small form no match for him. Your lips were planted against his. You broke the kiss before he had the time to react.

“Shut up about Red Riot. I was just joking. Why didn’t you tell me you liked me?”

“What?” It was his turn to ask stupid questions.

“I, uh damn, I also like you, crush you very much. I just didn’t think you liked me back, giving your shitty demeanour all the time.”

It would take him some time to explain the whole situation to you. It would also take some time for you to get used to him being a secret hero, though after you agreed to be his girlfriend you noticed he threw himself in crossfire less during his night actions. Who knows, maybe he’ll even gain a bit in the eye of the public soon. Now he doesn't really care for it any more as the only person he ever wanted to impress is already snuggled up beside him in bed, late in the night.

#bnha bakugo #bnha bakugou #bnha #bnha fanfiction #katsuki bakugo #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bakugo #bakugou x reader #katsuki #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #katsuki bakugo x reader #mha bakugou #mha

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eminems-skittles · 5 months

Note

for the emoji blurb thing -🪽

- 🪽 anon

drop an emoji in my inbox and i’ll write a blurb based on whatever song comes on shuffle (include a character if you want)

thank you 🪽anon!!!!

song: love in the time of socialism by yellow house

pairing: max verstappen x reader

warnings: mild angst

fisherman

(or you think you’re holding max back)

“are you sure this is what you want?” your question cut through the air. max looked up from his plate of food, confusion washing over his face.

“the food? it’s perfect schat,” max said sweetly. “plus you already made it so-”

“i don’t mean the food, max. i mean us. this,” you paused before quietly adding “me.” max set his fork down on his plate. he tried to read your face but the only thing he could see was resignation.

“why wouldn’t i want you?” max asked, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. were you about to break up with him? he hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary recently. maybe you had been more withdrawn but he chalked that up to you being tired or sick.

“i just feel like i’m holding you back.”

“but you’re not,” he reaffirmed, his voice almost too harsh. “have i done something to make you feel this way?”

you shook your head, your gaze shifting away from him to look at the picture of the two of you that was hanging on the wall. it was after he won his first world championship. he had run over to hug you and luckily someone had snapped a picture. a smile ghosted across your face as you remembered how happy you were for him. “it’s just a thought i’ve had. it just feels like sometimes i’m not enough or i’m not supportive enough because i can’t be at every race.”

max shakes his head at that. “it doesn’t matter to me if you’re at every race, schat. of course, i’d love for you to be at every race but i know you’re my biggest supporter. i wouldn’t be where i am without you.”

“that’s not true,” you say shaking your head.

max was quiet again, the gears in his head turning. he stood up from his seat, walking around the table to kneel in front of you. his hand found yours as he looked up at you. “maybe i’d be where i am, y/n, but that doesn’t matter. the wins and trophies wouldn’t matter if you weren’t here by my side, you know that right? these things lose all their meaning if you’re not their to witness their grandeur, y/n. that’s all that matters to me.”

you were quiet, staring into his eyes. he could tell you weren’t going to say anything right then so he continued. “as long as you’re by my side, i could be anything in the world and it would be worth it. i’d be a traveling fisherman if it meant you were next to me.”

you laughed at his words, your hand went to cup his face. “do you mean that?”

“i mean it, you are my world,” he says firmly. he stops to think again, leaning against your hand. “can you tell me why you were really thinking about this?”

“just overthinking,” you murmur. “saw something online that got me thinking i wasn’t good enough.”

max shook his head, standing up and pulling you with him. one hand fell to your waist while the other went to cradle your face. “don’t listen to those people, okay? you’re more than enough, schat. don’t ever doubt that okay?”

“okay,” you hummed. he smiled and leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips.

“i love you,” he whispered against your lips.

“i love you more,” you said, matching his tone. you kissed him again and his hand that was previously holding your face dropped to your back and held you tightly. “but you wouldn’t be a fisherman.”

“yes, i would and so would you. we could have matching outfits,” he said with a big smile. “bright yellow ones with boots and hats and everything.”

#cassie’s masterlist #masterlist #writing #{ cassie’s writing games}#max verstappen x reader #{ max verstappen }#{ formula one }#formula one x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen blurb #formula one blurb

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redtsundere-writes · 3 months

Text

Out Of My League | Heartsteel!Kayn Shieda

heartsteel!kayn shieda x f!reader

Part 4: Valentine's Day Special!

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Sypnosis: A chronically online girl doesn't know how to deal with his famous boyfriend lifestyle. Contents: Modern AU, Kayn is a nice boyfriend, High School AU, a verbal fight, fake dating vibes but not really. Word Count: 6871 words. Author's Note: So I tried posting this on Valentine's but my date with my boyfriend ended up being longer than I expected. Sowwy, but here it is, lol

Part 4: Valentine's Day Special “For the love of God, do something!” You screamed desperately into the microphone of your headphones.

You were playing a match of League of Legends with your online friends. Your fingers moved quickly on the keyboard, your eyes didn’t take off of the screen, and the offenses of your friends bombed your ears. You were playing as Qiyana, sometimes you missed playing with Kayn as Zed.

"This was so winnable, and you fucked it up, man!" You exclaimed in frustration as you saw the “Defeat” sign flash on your screen.

Winter break was about to end. It's been six months since Kayn asked you to be his girlfriend. Once he graduated from high school, he signed a contract with Riot Records to become a star alongside Heartsteel. You hadn't seen him in over two months, but he always made sure to send you gifts so you wouldn't miss him so much. His gifts ranged from official Heartsteel merchandise to video games and jewelry. Your favorite gift so far was one of his silver earrings so you could match despite not being physically together.

“Nah, but how good is this Qiyana?” Your friend matched your energy, to which your other friends laughed. You wanted to keep a serious posture, but you couldn't.

"Hey, where’s Rhaast?" Your friend with his favorite waifu on his profile picture asked.

"I don't know, he hasn't reached out in a while," you lied.

You knew exactly where he was. He was in another country preparing for his last concert of his world tour with Heartsteel. After he graduated, Kayn quickly adapted to the rock star life. Spending all day writing music, meeting fans and traveling to many places with his guitar. He always sent you photos of the places he visited, the new foods he tried, and the talented people he worked with. Every day, he promised you that he would show you the world once you graduated from high school.

You had a good relationship where you were in constant communication, there was just one small problem. Your relationship was a secret. When Kayn signed his contract with Riot Records to become a star, his manager found out that he had a girlfriend. He only asked him to keep the relationship as private as possible. If he was going to be part of a boy band, the group's popularity might decrease if fans found out that a girl is the owner of his heart.

Kayn thought you would be upset with him for wanting to keep the relationship a secret, but he was surprised to find that you had no problem doing so. As an introvert, you don't like to be the center of attention. If everyone knew that you were a celebrity's girlfriend, you would lose your privacy and not feel comfortable.

Keeping the relationship private was the best for both, although it took Kayn longer to adjust to the idea. When he went on his first tour, he called you every night to remind you how much he loved you and missed you. He often told you how much he missed your hugs, kisses, and caresses. You missed him too, but it wasn't such a drastic change because you were already used to spending your nights alone playing video games or watching live streams.

You heard the sound that announced that you had received a message via Discord, and you didn't hesitate to see what it was about. It was nothing more and nobody less than Kayn. He had sent you a selfie of him with Ezreal before going on stage. He had taken it before giving his phone to his personal assistant to keep while he got busy.

“Is your girlfriend going to watch the show?” Ezreal asked him as he stretched backstage.

The loud music, the screams of the excited fans and the Heartsteel’s team running back and forth to make sure everything was okay. Kayn warmed up his muscles before going on stage. It was the last concert of the tour, and he didn’t want to ruin it. He was nervous, not as nervous as at his first concert, where he almost peed himself. Kayn still remembers that day when he saw his beautiful girlfriend in the audience for a split second and almost lost his balance. He wasn't as nervous as that time, but his hands didn't stop sweating.

“Yes, I sent him the ticket code,” Kayn answered, visibly excited.

The alarm on your phone went off. The legend “Heartsteel Concert ” shined on the screen in white letters. You smiled at the phone and closed the League tab to search the page where the event will be broadcast live.

"Hey, I'm leaving," you notified your friends as you reopened the Discord to leave the call.

“Where are you going? It's barely 7 PM,” your friend asked, confused.

You had gotten them used to the fact that you could play with them until 1 in the morning. Plus, they knew you didn't have many friends other than Rhaast and some classmates from your music class. After your confession was a success, the music class teacher asked you to help your classmates often, forcing you to make some friends.

“I'm going to watch Heartsteel’s concert,” you answered.

"Don’t tell me you're one of those crazy Heartbeats," he mocked.

“Yesterday I saw that some Heartbeats attacked another one who had gotten tickets to the last show,” another member of the group commented.

The fandom of Heartsteel grew rapidly every day. The larger the community, the percentage of aggressive fans increases. You saw every day on Twitter how the Heartbeats were fighting with other fandoms, especially with the K/DA fans. The amount of +18 fan art you had seen of your boyfriend fucking Ezreal was surprising. Although you saved a couple to bother him later.

“Well, their music is addictive,” you answered with part of the truth. “But anyway, the concert is almost starting. Bye,” and with that, you left the call.

You typed in the code Kayn had sent you so you could access the livestream. While it started, you went to the kitchen to make yourself some popcorn and grabbed your favorite chips from the pantry. You pulled a blanket off your bed and got comfortable in your chair as the screen announced the countdown.

When the timer reached zero, Paranoia's extended intro began to play. The audience screamed and applauded with excitement that the concert would finally begin after a day full of expectations. Yellow and purple lights flashed on the stage. The main screen showed the music video they had recorded for that song, while the side screens showed the spectacular entrance of the members. Yone and Aphelios were at the mixing console, they looked so focused on doing their job. Then Kayn came in, rapping the first verse.

Two sides to the story, but they never tell my side.

You kicked your feet in your seat when you saw him. He looked as cool as ever. Her pink hair with purple tips swayed against the air. He held the microphone in such a way that he could easily maneuver the change of hand. His navy blue leather jacket gleamed against the light, his crop top hugged his pecs perfectly, and the pants were as tight as they needed to highlight his figure.

"Kayn looks good!" You squealed with excitement without taking your eyes off the screen.

The concert went off normally. Ezreal singing his heart out, K'Sante interacting with fans and Sett rhyming with Kayn. You ate, sang and screamed from the comfort of your room. Kayn would sometimes fix her hair in front of the broadcast camera to proudly show off the earring you shared. You couldn't help but touch the earring in your ear proudly with a smile on your face.

It was the show’s halftime, where the band answered some questions to interact with the audience and let their bodies rest for a couple of minutes. They showed the livestream chat on the main screen behind Yone and Aphelios so they could read what the fans were saying.

“Say hello to our beautiful chat!” Ezreal asked the fans in the auditorium. The fans screamed and raised their lightsticks to the sky. You rushed to write something nice in the chat so that it would appear in the broadcast.

You: Hello! Kayn looks as handsome as ever!

Kayn quickly recognized your user among the hundreds of comments that cascaded across the screen. His cheeks flushed red, and he smiled widely at the compliment. That day he had asked the stylists to fix him as best as possible because he wanted to impress you. The effort was noticeable.

“How about we answer some questions from the chat?” Sett offered.

“That seems fine to me. EzrealLover69 asks: Who would you dedicated this concert to?” Yone announced the question, while Aphelios played a song that sounded like something that would reproduce in TV quiz shows.

“I want to dedicate this concert to my mom. Hello mom, I'm on television!” Sett responded as he waved at one of the cameras.The fans were touched.

“I want to dedicate it to Ernest, our pup,” K'Sante answered as they posted a photo of the beautiful Doberman they had adopted last month. The fans were crazy about the boys' cute comments.

"What about you, Kayn? Who do you want to dedicate this concert to?” Ezreal asked him, since it was his turn to answer.

“This tour has been very important for me because I always loved music and wanted it to be part of my life,” Kayn began while looking at the livestream camera. He paused briefly for the fans to get excited by his response. “I want to dedicate this concert to my haters. This is for those who didn't believe in me, bitches,” he said while flipping off the camera.

“I didn't expect anything less from him,” you thought as you shook your head. The members of Heartsteel laughed at the comment, while the audience went crazy because of his savageness. Kayn was drunk with the praise from his fandom. He felt good in his cloud 9, and no one could bring him down from there.

“Although I also want to dedicate it to someone very important to me… This concert is for my girlfriend,”

You choked on the popcorn you were eating. The band and the audience remained silent before the unexpected comment. A collective “what?!" resounded through the auditorium. Kayn was so comfortable in his cloud that he didn't even realize the mistake he made.

“My girlfriends! All of you! Heartbeats are my girlfriends!” Kayn clarified in an attempt to correct his mistake. Given that, there were two reactions: the fans who did not believe at all and a confused audience by the apparent mistake.

"Kayn, you idiot!" You exclaimed as you stood up from your seat. Your popcorn fell to the ground, as the chances of still being his girlfriend after that.

You walked from side to side across your room to calm your anxiety while Heartsteel featured the next song. “This isn't happening,” you thought in panic. You returned to your desktop to open Twitter and see the reactions of the fans. The clip of Kayn saying “This concert is for my girlfriend” was spreading like wildfire.

Kaynchokeme: MY SWEET BEAN HAS A GIRLFRIEND?!

Ezkaynisreal: If Kayn has a girlfriend, I'm going kms.

Daddyyone: Kayn biased be like: ☠️

ApheliosLover69: Kayn really made a mistake? 🤔

SettMeUp: KAYN IS FUCKING CHEATING ON US 😭

"They're not buying it." You thought out loud as you watched the endless threads of tweets while Kayn sang in your ear on the other tab.

The concert ended with fireworks, screams from the audience, and a shirtless Kayn. When the livestream ended, you sent your boyfriend a message telling him that you needed to talk. You had spent the rest of the concert reading Twitter threads where many fans began to expose theories of who could be the Kayn girlfriend’s and the vast majority were aiming at you.

Several fans found the newspaper reporting the first concert of Heartsteel, which was at your school when the talent show was. The students at your school, who were fans of Kayn since before he became a star, rumored that sometimes they saw him with you. But there was never enough evidence that proved there was something more than a friendship between you.

The only thing that made you look like a couple was a photo that Kayn had uploaded to his Instagram of you and the other members of the production team in the studio. There was nothing wrong with that photo. He had taken the photo of you while listening to Ezreal sing, making you look like you were part of the production. The only thing wrong with that photo was that you could see the earring that you shared, implying that their relationship is important to him, but it did not confirm anything.

Kayn called you on Discord after he showered in his hotel room. It was a video call, so you could see him shirtless and in all his glory. The window was open behind him, so you could see the lights of a darkened city.

“You saw me? It was a great concert!” He said, excited while drying his hair with a white towel. Some of his pink dye was lingering on the towel.

“Yes, it was a great concert… And a great confession! How did it occur to you to say that you have a girlfriend?!” You exclaimed in panic. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“It was a mistake, okay? I really wanted to say “my girlfriends”, but I saw you in the chat, I thought about you and fuck up. I'm sorry,” Kayn apologized as he put the towel aside. "Just calm down."

“Calm down? There are Twitter threads where they describe how they are going to kidnap me so that you no longer have a girlfriend!” You screamed while you massage your temple to prevent a headache.

“You know how the internet is like, they're just exaggerating. You'll see that it will go away in a few days,” he tried another shot to calm you down.

“Kayn, I'm going back to school tomorrow. I'm not ready for this,” you explained your concern.

You already had problems communicating appropriately with your classmates because of how introverted you were. This was only going to make things worse. You didn't want Kayn's fame, you didn't want to be recognized, you just wanted to play video games and play guitar in the quietness of your room.

“Tomorrow, the crisis department will release an announcement where I officially say that I don't have a girlfriend and that's it, problem solved. You will have your normal life back,” Kayn explained in a calm voice.

"You promise?" You asked with a small voice.

“I promise,” Kayn responded. You could only let out a sigh that relieved your mind.

After a long video call with your boyfriend where you talked about the concert and his plans for when he returned home, you went to sleep with your head full of anxiety. The morning came too quickly. You got ready to go back to school and headed out. You decided to leave the official Heartsteel’s pins and keychains that Kayn had given you in your backpack so that people wouldn't suspect the change.

After some walking, you arrived at school and almost fainted when you saw the scene that was waiting for you. A gaggle of photographers was waiting patiently for you to show up at school. Now you not only have to anticipate your gossiping classmates, but also a bunch of reporters who care too much about the relationship of some teenagers,

You began to debate in your mind whether you should really attend on the first day. “If I enter, I will be bombarded with questions, and they are going to take many photos of me. If I don’t come in, they’re going to be more suspicious that I’m Kayn’s girlfriend.” You took too long to debate, so a paparazzo recognized you immediately.

“There she is!” He exclaimed as he ran towards you while taking photos of you. The others followed suit and quickly cornered you.

“Are you Kayn's girlfriend?!” “When did you start dating?!” “How big is he?!” It was the kind of questions that they bombed while they fired their flashes at you. You tried to cover your face from the cameras, but there were too many of them.

“No comment,” you repeated over and over again with a trembling voice while you were trying to get to the door of your school.

Not only did the paparazzi take photos of you, now your classmates were taking photos and recorded videos of what was happening. This was a nightmare. You wanted to wake up, but guess what? You were already wide awake. One way or another, you made it to the door. Two teachers kept the paparazzi away from you while you entered the building, leaving everything behind… or that's what you thought.

As soon as you stepped foot into the main building, all eyes were on you. You swallowed and just continued on your way to your living room. Several classmates from other classes approached you to ask you the same thing as the paparazzi. You avoided them as best you could, not being able to believe that everything was happening. Yesterday you were a normal girl with interaction problems, and now you were still a normal girl with interaction problems, but now you had a famous boyfriend.

You got to your classroom and everything got worse. Almost your entire class pounced on you to ask about your relationship with Kayn. You couldn’t resist it anymore. This was too much for you. Your body did the only thing your brain could think to do: run away.

Your legs were running as fast as possible to get to the music room. You went inside and locked yourself to prevent anyone else from entering. You threw yourself onto the bench there and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm your breathing. You received a text message and didn't hesitate to see who it was.

Rhaast: Have you arrived at school yet? Are you OK?

“Everything is your fault,” you thought out loud before turning off the phone to ignore the message, but you forgot that Kayn hates it when you leave him on read. Not even a minute passed by when he was already calling you.

“Hello?” You answered reluctantly as you continued to monitor your breathing.

“What happened? Why didn't you answer me?” He asked worriedly on the other end of the line.

“There are not only gossiping classmates. There are paparazzi outside the school.” You heard Kayn sigh in your ear.

“The airport was also full of them when I arrived this morning,” he said. “This is worse than I imagined. I'll pick you up.”

“No! If you come, everyone will think that we are dating,” you warned as you sat properly on the bench to pay attention to the conversation.

“You're right. I'll send someone for you to drive you to the studio. We must talk to the crisis department,” Kayn proposed. You accepted and hung up the call.

After being locked in the music room for half an hour, you saw through the window, hidden behind a curtain, that the paparazzi were still there. They were waiting for you like scavenger birds waiting for you to die so they could tear off your skin. After a while, a luxurious black car arrived and parked in front of the school. “That must be my ride,” you thought, relieved.

After receiving confirmation from Kayn that this car was your escape, you left the school and ran towards the car that was patiently waiting for you. The paparazzi caught up with you to take photos, but they didn't ask any questions. As you closed the door and asked the driver to drive off, you realized that you were not alone in the back seat. There was someone in a gray sweatshirt with the hood up, sunglasses, and a black cap. He was incognito, but what gave him away was that familiar cologne that you knew perfectly well.

"I told you not to come, you idiot!" You hit Kayn’s arm as he took off his costume as they left the paparazzi behind.

“I'm sorry! Is it a sin to make sure my girlfriend is okay?!” He exclaimed before grabbing your wrists to make you stop. You tried to move away from his body, but he wouldn't allow it. “Is this how you receive your handsome boyfriend after 2 months without seeing him?” He asked, offended.

“What are you doing here?” You asked him, tired of fighting.

“No one hurt you?” He ignored your question to inspect you from head to toe. Kayn missed seeing you in the adorable school uniform. He didn't like to wear it when he went to school, but it looked pretty good on you.

“No,” you answered in surrender.

“I missed you,” he whispered before pulling you closer to his lips.

Kissing Kayn was an indescribable experience. Having more years of practice than you, each kiss for you was better than the last one. The only bad thing is that Kayn is not one for simple, short kisses. He gives his all and this would be no exception. You could feel his passion, energy, and focus on you. His hands ran along the curvature of your waist to get more attached to you. Kayn might be the celebrity, but you were the star of the show.

His lips devoured you without remedy. He felt free and happy to have you in his arms again after months of abstinence. He liked to knead your body like he was a baker preparing dough. The softness of your lips and the warmth of your tongue provoked Kayn to want to spend the whole day kissing you.

He grabbed you by your thighs and forced you to get on his lap. His hands adapted to your butt to hold you against it. Kayn is like the tingling in your legs, the gasp that comes from a touch of static energy, or the cold in your mouth when you drink ice water after having a mint. He is the reaction to a radical change. He was rebellious, disastrous, and spontaneous. Kayn never had a plan, he likes to act on instinct. The beast inside him was in control when it came to that kind of thing. Kayn was ready to take off his clothes, but someone stopped him.

“We're here, Mr. Shieda.” The driver said dryly. Colors came to your face when you remembered that someone had been driving this entire time.

“Thank you, Kevin. Let me tip you,” Kayn cleared his throat to forget the awkward moment and took out his wallet.

Riot Records, the largest record label in the country. The reason your friends can't play cool music on their Twitch streams. Riot Records' headquarters were in the heart of the city. It was a modern and vibrant building, with contemporary design and creative spaces such as recording studios, composition areas and equipped offices. It also includes common spaces for socializing, meeting rooms and an art and design studio. The environment influences creativity, the relationships between artists and the process of music production and promotion.

Kayn led you to a conference room where there were two women. A sophisticated blonde in a suit who was in charge of the crisis department at Riot Records and a pink-haired girl, who looked familiar to you, who was in charge of the marketing department for Heartsteel. They sat face to face. You were very nervous and Kayn noticed it right away, so he took your hand lovingly.

“It's a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Alune, I am Aphelios' sister,” The younger girl introduced herself with a friendly smile. You introduced yourself in the same way but with a weak smile due to your nervousness. "Well, since we already introduced ourselves, I'm afraid to tell you that you should break up." Alune gave them the bad news with a sad expression of being the messenger.

“What?!” You and Kayn exclaimed at the same time in shock, but then Alune laughed.

“You are so cute, obviously you don’t need to break up,” Alune said between laughs. They both relaxed upon hearing that she was just joking. "In fact, we need you to date a little more time together in the public eye."

“Why? Isn't it going to affect Heartsteel’s popularity?” You asked confused.

“Yes and no. It's true that we will lose a few fans, but it's a small investment we're willing to make,” the blonde explained with great precision and elegance.

“Really?” Kayn asked, just as confused as his girlfriend.

“Yes, the fact that you have accepted that you have a girlfriend now is the best thing that could have happened to Heartsteel. Alune opened her laptop, revealing a PowerPoint presentation about what they would talk about at the meeting.

This was the situation. Heartsteel was about to release a new single on February 15, after Valentine's Day, which will be titled: Heartbreaker. The Marketing department's plan is to take advantage of the current relationship of the most rebellious member of Heartsteel with his girlfriend, who came out of nowhere to promote it in the long run.

The plan was as follows: Step 1. Spread the tea of the relationship with the help of the paparazzi. Step 2. Send them on a date from Riot Records on Valentine's Day in a public place. Step 3. Pretend to break up in said public place, creating a total spectacle in front of the cameras and making it obvious that you were over. Step 4: Kayn announces on social media that Heartsteel will release a heartbreak song, hinting that it is about his ex. They were willing to lose some fans in the month that their public relationship lasted because they knew that they would get them back as soon as they break up.

“What do you think? Brilliant, right?” Alune asked after finishing her presentation.

“I don't know…” you commented while you were playing with your fingers as you thought at the situation

If you decided to do all of that, it would mean having to give up your precious privacy for a while. You wanted to do everything you could to help Kayn, but you didn't know if it was the right way to do it. Your boyfriend squeezed your hand gently to get your attention.

"It's okay if you refuse," Kayn whispered to you.

"I'm just scared, that's all…" you confessed, insecure.

“This is a foolproof plan. Many celebrity relationships are like this. They have fake relationships that help the two celebrities become better known,” the blonde explained with a wise air.

“Everything will be fine, you will do well. Valentine's Day will be in a month. You will return to your private life soon,” Kayn assured you as his thumb stroked the torso of your hand softly.

“Also, you can take advantage of this month to go out as much as you want. The more you guys go out, the better. You can go grab some coffee, go to the movies, maybe a motel…” Alune hinted, but the blonde nudged her to keep her quiet.

You smiled at that. The couple exchanged a knowing look at the idea. “Well, it wouldn't hurt to have a month of normal dating without repercussions,” you thought. If you were going to have to live your life in the public eye for a while anyway, what's better than to make the most of it?

“That sounds good.” You agreed to participate in this advertising stunt.

Kayn and you hang out together the entire month, like lovey doves in their nest. Kayn picked you up at school almost every day. His extravagant car caught the attention of your classmates and killed your friend with envy. He always kissed you, opened the door for you, and took you to eat at your favorite restaurants.

The paparazzi did all the work of announcing to the world that Kayn did have a girlfriend, and it was you. The Internet was filled with photos of you kissing in different places, walking down the street hand in hand, trying to avoid cameras, and sharing desserts in public. It was strange to see yourself on Twitter Trends. You enjoyed spending time with Kayn, but every date meant sacrificing a part of yourself for the entertainment of the public eye. The only thing that allowed you to kiss Kayn in broad daylight with paparazzi hovering around you was that it was one of the few ways you could support his career.

Valentine's Day was quickly approaching. Alune planned the last date. Kayn would pick you up, take you to a fancy restaurant, fight over dessert, and then you would throw the cake they ordered in his face. You wouldn't know if you could do it, but you had to try to do your best. You were not a person who gets angry easily, so you were afraid of not knowing how to act accordingly.

Alune sent you a red dress with pearl accessories. They looked expensive, so you were very careful not to ruin them. Watched some tutorials on YouTube to do your hair and makeup. It took you all morning to prepare, but you managed to highlight your best version. At dinner time, Kayn picked you up as always.

“Hi gorgeous. I hadn't seen you around here before, what's your name?” He asked you as he looked at you from head to toe, pretending you were another girl. You blushed as he took your hand to kiss your knuckles.

“I thought you had a girlfriend,” you played along.

“Yes, I have a girlfriend and I respect her a lot,” he responded with a playful smile as he pulled you closer by the waist.

“If you respected her, you wouldn't be flirting with me,” you frowned.

“Believe me, I respect her so much that I will do everything to you that I can't do to her, beautiful,” he purred into your ear before placing a kiss on your cheek.

You were shocked at his response. You didn't have anything clever you could top it off with. Kayn moved down to your neck to kiss it and gently nibble on your skin. Your body reacted to the tickling. Your boyfriend smiled as he saw you smile at the feeling.

“You always look beautiful, but today you are showing it off,” Kayn said with a smile plastered on his face.

Kayn drove without discretion, as always, while you watched the landscape pass in front of you. The nerves were consuming you inside, but you pretended everything was fine as you hummed some songs Kayn had on his playlist. You were happy and sad that this would be his last date in the public eye. He quickly noticed that you seemed to be a bit upset.

“Is something wrong?” he asked you, holding my thigh with his right hand while maneuvering the steering wheel with his left hand.

“I'm nervous. I don't know if I can do it,” you said before sighing in an attempt to relax.

“It will be like a normal date. Only this time, instead of saying goodbye with kisses, it will be with a bang. It will be fun!” Kayn explained, trying to cheer you up.

"I don't want to end our date with a bang,” you whined.

“C’mon! How many times have you threatened my mom for sucking at League?” He asked.

“But that's different. It's in the privacy of my room, no one can see me there,” you responded.

"Just think about all the times I've made you angry, and you'll see that the madness will come out on its own," Kayn said before patting your head.

You rolled your eyes and returned your gaze to the window. Kayn made it sound so simple, but it was because he was already used to that lifestyle. You wished you could adapt like him. Be as outgoing as him. That you didn't care about anything like him. But you weren't him, you were just you, and that's okay. You would get out of this your way, for your sake and Kayn's.

As soon as you arrived at the restaurant that the marketing department had chosen for you, the fierce pack of gossip-hungry paparazzi surrounded you mercilessly. Kayn completely ignored them and took you out of the car like a true gentleman. The reporters shouted questions that you couldn’t understand among all the noise. They were both instructed not to say anything, so that’s what they did.

The restaurant was illuminated by soft golden light that reflected off the ivory walls and crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The tables were elegantly dressed with white tablecloths and covered with delicate china and sparkling crystal stemware. The soft hum of live music filled the air, complementing the lively conversation of the diners.

The date started well. They talked about their future plans, drank luxurious drinks, and the appetizer was delicious. If it weren't for the paparazzi and the publicity stunt, this would have been the best date in the world. They had started well, but they knew it would end very badly. Anxiety-filled thoughts invaded your mind again. You tried to push them away to enjoy the good things of the date, but time was passing, and you had to ruin it soon.

During the conversation, Kayn noticed that you remained somewhat distant. He reached for your hand that was subtly resting on the table to get your attention. You snapped out of your thoughts to focus on him. I smile at you and ask you how much you were thinking about.

"I was just thinking how sad it is that we're going to break up on our first Valentine's Day together," you whispered so only he could hear you.

“There will be more in the future. I promise. For now, let's focus on fixing this situation,” he said before kissing your knuckles with delight.

Since this was an Italian restaurant, they both ordered two different types of pasta that they decided to share. Kayn was trying to distract you with the pleasant conversation and caresses under the table so that you would stop thinking about the inevitable that was about to happen.

After finishing eating, the inevitable happened: the dessert they didn't order arrived at their table. It was a small cake for two decorated with strawberries and lots of cream, the perfect cake to make a mess of. You felt something brush against your legs. You looked under the tablecloth, it was a note from Kayn on a napkin. “Scold me for pretending to go on a date with another girl to make you jealous. I deserve the punishment,” you read in your mind.

You still remembered it. The reason you almost gave up on confessing to Kayn at the time. Since you thought about it, you never scold him about it. You were so happy that he was yours that you forgot to be upset with him.

“Who is Rachel?” You asked him. Starting with the performance.

“A friend,” he answered without further ado.

“Don’t lie to me! Do you think I am stupid?!” You exclaimed as you slammed the table so that all the other diners could see it.

The audience watched the scene carefully, some were recording it and others wondered where the employees were to pick them apart in case things escalated. What they didn't know is that Alune had paid the restaurant to let them do their little scene without interruptions. You were drawing out anger from a deep place in your stomach that you didn't even know existed. Kayn's eyes widened. He didn't expect you to get violent.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! You are crazy!” Kayn screamed with a frown.

“Kayn Shieda! Did you sleep with her, yes or no?!” You shouted so everyone could hear their conversation.

“She is just a friend…” he said while rubbing his temple to avoid a migraine.

"Yes or no, asshole?!" You exclaimed as if you were playing League with your friends in the privacy of your room. Kayn remained silent, he did not know what to answer. By this point, the other diners were wondering what was going on. You leaned back in the chair and pretended to cry. "Is she better than me?" You whispered between fake sobs.

"Hey, if I tell you the truth, you won’t get angry?" Kayn asked quietly. You nodded as you wiped away your non-existent tears. “Yes, I slept with her, but it was only once!” he confessed with shame.

The diners gasped in surprise in unison at the great revelation. You smiled weakly. You couldn't believe you were doing what you were going to do. You took the strawberry and cream cake and smashed it on his face. The cream shot everywhere, and you ruined your boyfriend's thin black shirt.

"Fuck you, Kayn! Lose my number! We are so done!” You exclaimed hysterically.

You ran away from the restaurant. The paparazzi rushed at you again to explain what had just happened. The only response you gave them was the middle finger. You hoped you wouldn't have to deal with them again for a long time. You got into the “taxi” that Alune had sent so that you could escape from there and return home safely.

A satisfying smile appeared on your face. Finally, everything was about to end soon. You would return to your normal life and Kayn will be able to continue feeding his fans' bad boy illusion. Your cell phone was ringing like crazy from messages from your friends, who had also inevitably found out that you were dating Kayn, asking how you were doing. You turned off your phone to recharge your social battery. Tomorrow, you would tell them everything.

When the driver turned onto the wrong street, you started to worry. You approached his seat to find out where exactly he was taking you, but he only said that he was following Kayn's orders. You didn't want to doubt his work, and you returned to your seat.

"Kayn told you to bring me to school?" You asked confused.

"Yes, he told me you would know where to go," he answered kindly.

“Thank you, Kevin. Have a good night,” you said goodbye as you got out of the vehicle.

Your heels clicked against the clean floor of the empty hallways. The front door was open, so you had no problem getting in. You felt strange being the only person there during the night. You were like a ghost in pain, wandering around the place until you reached your favorite destination. You were surprised to see a light on in the music room. You opened the door.

“Happy Valentine's Day, beautiful,” Kayn congratulated you with a large bouquet of red roses.

You blushed at the unexpected surprise. You gladly received the beautiful flowers and admired the place. It still looked like the music room, the only difference was that now there was a table with candles and a plate with your favorite sweets. It was intimate, private and romantic. It was better than the date at the restaurant. This was the best date in the world.

“How did you get here before me? When did you plan this?” You asked, not being able to believe the effort he had made for you.

“I ran off like four traffic lights to get here so I could change,” Kayn responded as he guided you to the table to sit down. He pulled out the chair for your comfort and, once seated, gently pushed you towards the table. “I had planned to do something else for Valentine's Day, but my big mouth ruined everything. Although, I wasn't going to let myself ruin another important thing for both of us, so I thought about this,” he explained as he sat down at the table.

“You're crazy,” you joked.

“Crazy for you,” he took the matter seriously.

Kayn looked deep into your eyes. He wanted to make sure you understood that he would do anything for you and that there was no one like you. You were his world, his muse, his girl and his greatest desire. They didn't need words to express their feelings for each other in a moment of complicity and infinite love.

Even though there were delicious sweets on the table, Kayn only wanted your sweet lips against his. He kept you close to his body, his hands molded to your cheeks so you wouldn't run away, and his fragrance intoxicated your nose. You couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else but him, and your kisses made it clear to him.

“I love you,” Kayn whispered between kisses.

“I love you too,” you smiled against his lips.

---

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joshslater · 1 year

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Manhood Exchange

The premise is based on a story I read a while back and forgot to bookmark. Similar stories and bonus material on my Patreon.

I was in a shopping mall when I got the notification on my phone. Out of habit I just tapped the icon and suddenly I got a large, erect cock filling the phone screen. I immediately became aware of where I was and had a few seconds of panic before reassuring myself that no one else saw it. I moved a few steps to somewhere less open, where no one could walk behind me, and had a look again.

It was beautiful. Massive and uncut, with the skin pulled back to expose the pink, gleaming head. Actually the entire cock glistened like he had made a few strokes with precum on his hand and then positioned himself with just the right lighting to make the veins pop a little extra. The truly remarkable part was however the overlay at the bottom of the screen. "$400, quick trade"

I'd been on the Manhood Exchange app long enough to know a cock like this is usually hundred times that price, if not more. Whatever impression you've got from watching porn, people are on a bell curve with cock sizes, and the ones on the higher end of the scale aren't selling. All the people who used to compensate with a big truck suddenly ended up in the same market, competing for the same cocks, and they make a hell of a lot more big trucks than big cocks. Oddly enough there was a market for really small cocks as well, not quite as high prices, but just as small supply. Normal people like me in the middle of the bell curve with no cash to buy and no cock to sell just had to make do.

It's not enough for a cock to just enter the market either, which itself is a thread to needle with the 18-35 eligible age span and clean health declaration. For you to find one it has to be bio-compatible for science reasons and roughly the same race for ethics reasons, though the latter is just a matter of money. Obviously I tapped the "Deal!" button in the app before I even checked out his profile. With that kind of cock everyone would know you either had a shit ton of money, or you could get it by selling. The profile didn't add much though. Just more good-looking images of him and his cock. A text message function as well, but was there really anything to talk about?

You'd think I'd be a bit more careful swapping cock with another man, especially since you can't swap again until all the cells have been replaced because of some quantum spin entanglement bullshit. Ten years with bad meat is a long wait, but I already knew he was a bio-match and healthy, so it was more Fear Of Missing Out. I had some shit I hope I could fence, so I took an instant online loan and had the whole deal closed before I'd passed Baskin Robbins on the way out. Both I and my normal size cock were excited.

Just ten minutes later the phone chimed again with a proposed time for the swap at 7:20 pm, almost three hours away. Though I didn't know anything about this less than an hour ago, any delay felt too long, like I hadn't realized how much I wanted this. What it would mean for my position in the crew. Every minute of waiting was a minute where something could derail everything. My phone could be stolen. The exchange could cancel it for some reason. I tapped "Accept" and headed home with the phone in a secure grip in my pocket.

The instructions after I had accepted were straightforward. Be seated with a naked crotch and open the app ten minutes before the scheduled time for exchange. I decided to be pantsless until then just to be safe, and I set three alarms on the phone. One at 6:50 to sit down, if I wasn't already sitting, one at 7:05 to be ready, and one at 7:09 to open the app. I sent a text to Shawn and told him I wouldn't be joining the crew until later, if at all. No details of why.

Then I just sat down in the comfy chair. Three hours to go. I was only wearing my hat, socks, and T-shirt. And my bling of course. The sweatpants and my trunks were in a pile on the floor, and the phone was charging next to me. My cock was pointing almost straight up.

I realized that it would only be my cock for another few hours or so, and I should say goodbye properly. Normally I would jerk off in the shower or in front of the computer, but since I was already perfectly seated and with an erect cock in front of me I just grabbed it and started to remember all the highlights we'd had. When my neighbor Jamar excited came over and wanted to show me something. He was a few years older, but still occasionally spent some time with me. He showed me into the bathroom, lowered his pants, and told me to do the same. Then he showed me that by pulling on his cock he could get it to "bend" in his words. I remembered waking up one early morning with my boxers wet and worried I'd peed my bed. To my surprise they were filled with slime, but just to be safe I put them under the bed to dry so my mother wouldn't know. I remembered that time I got an erection during a movie screening, and slowly wanked but desperately trying to avoid cumming or anyone else noticing what I did.

I remembered the first time I had sex, the first porn I jerked off to, the first time a date ended in sex, the first time I had sex in a car, the first time I jerked off to a porn video on my mobile. All while doing this I tried to go as slow as I could, like at the movie. Flashing before me were dates, partners, and porn stars, while the top of my cock had some frothy pre-cum. I was shocked when the alarm went off. How the fuck could time have moved that fast. I scrambled to get hold of an old T-shirt within reach, and pretty quickly came into it with a few pumps of cum. Not really the satisfying climax I had envisioned.

Suddenly time was moving slowly again, and I was stuck watching dried off, limp cock in front of me. I became self-conscious about how it looked, worried about if the seller would cancel the trade last minute seeing what a lousy deal it was for him. He'd seen my photos already though, but they were taken erect and with good lighting. What was the cancellation policy anyway? The next alarm went off. Why did I even set that one? I was getting nervous. What if it hurt? There was a lot of news about misteleportations some years ago, and this was way more complicated. I didn't even understand how it worked. I knew the basics of standard teleportation from school. Every particle is a probability wave that exists everywhere, but the probability of it actually being at a specific point is overwhelming. By manipulating the quantum state you can poke the probability so that it is more likely to be somewhere else. Just a change in probability, so it can move instantaneously anywhere in the universe, given enough math. Swapping body parts between people was way harder, so it was bound to have lots of issues that could happen.

The last alarm interrupted my train of thought. I kind of felt not ready. Rich people did this, so it should be safe to do I reasoned, and tapped the activation button on the phone.

"This will start a legally binding contract with Manhood Exchange Incorporated adjudicated in the state of Delaware. Please identify yourself." the phone voice said. I pressed the white circle on the screen with my identification finger, the middle one of course.

"Please sign that you are aware that concluding this transaction will replace your penis, testicles, prostate, and relevant connecting tissue, glands, and other structures with a third party as preliminary agreed." I pressed the circle again, wondering what would happen if I didn't. The $400 would certainly be gone.

"Please sign that you are aware that this is a one-time transfer option with Manhood Exchange Incorporated that cannot be reversed through quantum transplantation." I pressed the circle a third time.

"Please sign that you are aware that both set of testicles will be made infertile through this swap." I pressed the circle a fourth time, not so nervous I barely registered what I had signed. The screen of the phone changed to showing a live video from my selfie camera, showing me half-naked in my lounge chair. "Tap to connect" it said on the screen. I did.

The image quickly changed to show the man from the photos lying down in a white, far more upscale couch than I was sitting in. "Yo, man. You ready to do this?" he asked. His erect cock was just as big as it had looked on the photos, almost looking bigger as it was swaying with his breathing. The instructions on the screen said "Verify the other party is the selected exchange party and that he is seated with exposed crotch."

"Yeah, let's do it." I said, and tapped the Verified button on the screen. I could see from his motions that he did the same, and a timer started on the screen, counting down to 7:20. "So, will it fit in speedos?" I blurted out, still feeling nervous and with several minutes to kill. He chuckled. "Shorts are better for swimming, but you want some tight trunks to keep it in place when you're wearing normal clothes. I use compression shorts a lot."

"Well, you can use whatever with mine."

The last 40 seconds we just stared at the countdown in silence. The actual swap was instant, almost silent, though I wouldn't be able to describe the sound, and without any shimmers of light as you can sometimes see when teleporting. It felt like someone spilled warm water over my crotch, though that quickly went away, but it was replaced with the most amazing, intense horny hardon I've ever felt. It was like the cock was buzzing, craving attention. "Enjoy the wank" the other guy said. "What? Oh. Thanks!" I said and the video was closed from his side.

I grabbed the cock with my hand and instantly felt the difference in size. It was almost the size of my wrist. I just moved my hand up and a trickle of precum oozed out and trickled down over my fingers. I leaned back, closed my eyes, and continued where I had left off, thinking about the most recent porn videos, and in not too long I could feel the buildup of a climax, only this time I was unable to force it back. It just kept building and building, and I think I actually moaned out loud as the first rope of cum erupted. Then another one, and another one. Then I had to open my eyes to look at the mess, and it wasn't any small squirts of cum either. It looked almost comical how my T-shirt was completely soaked in cum, and I was still pumping out a few more ropes.

To my amazement the cock was still semi-erect. I got up and hurried to the bathroom and threw the cum-wet T-shirt. After a quick look at my sticky chest I decided to have a shower. I stripped out of the few remaining items I had on and proceeded to have another wank in the shower. This one lasted a bit longer and produced slightly less cum, but it was still a shocking amount.

I had barely dried and put on my underwear before the new cock started to firm up again. I grabbed the phone and sent a text to the seller in the app. "What the hell is happening with my cock? Were you always hard?"

The app sat silent for a few minutes until a response chimed. "It's called hyperspermia. It's a genetic condition, so not a disease in Manhood Exchange's definition. You'll learn to cope several hours between wanks. It was the precum that bothered me the most. Just drink a lot of water, always wear a condom, and compression shorts really help, as I said. Good luck!"

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olderthannetfic · 25 days

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Re: ‘most big fandoms are dominated by male characters so there’s less f/f’ - I think the conclusion that there’s so much more m/m and m/f out there because media with big fandoms include fewer women as characters and we are ‘just writing about the characters [we] connect with in the media [we] enjoy’ removes some of the agency involved in how we choose the media that we potentially end up fannishly enjoying. Yes, if there were more characters who are women in media with huge existing fandoms, we might see more f/f, but I think that many of us gravitate toward new media (and if we click with that new media, then new fandoms) based on our established interests from prior media/fandoms. I’ve been in online fandom in various capacities for over 20 years and in the first decade of my fannish ‘career’ I largely shipped m/m and wrote m/m. I was therefore, unsurprisingly, often drawn toward new media with m/m potential.

About a decade ago my personal interests began to shift and I found myself more drawn toward women characters and f/f. If I’m interested in women and f/f, I’m not going to keep focusing on new-to-me media with a whole slew of men and a couple women who barely interact. I’m keeping an eye out for media with several prominent female characters, media with lots of women, media with f/f potential. Luckily, that isn’t as hard to find across a variety of genres and formats as it used to be. It doesn’t always click — I enjoyed watching She-Ra and Ahsoka, for instance, and saw the f/f potential, but neither were id matches that sparked fannish creativity for me personally — but if I’m not checking out media with women and am instead continuing to watch/read/play media where the characters are largely men, then yeah, I’m going to get frustrated by the lack of f/f i those fandoms pretty quickly. That’s on me though, not on the fandom at large. If I’m not looking at what’s out there, trying to find the media that hits those iddy places and sparks the fannishness I crave, then am I really that interested in f/f in the first place? I don’t think fandom ‘hates women’, but I do think a lot of fandom just isn’t that fannishly interested in women for a plethora of reasons, and that’s fine! I do wish we could just admit that though.

There’s also…look, there are assholes in every corner of fandom. There are plenty of people out there who write posts that criticize unrealistic m/m smut, but that doesn’t seem to drive away the m/m fans from writing that super unrealistic m/m smut they want to read. Why then do a few jerks criticizing what they believe to be unrealistic f/f smut get blamed for driving people away from f/f? Did you really want to write that f/f smut to begin with? It’s okay if you didn’t really want to write it! But also, there is fantastically unrealistic f/f smut out there on ao3 with an appreciative audience. Unrealistic smut always has its place.

Yuuup.

I do think the few loud jerks on whatever topic have a disproportionate effect on things that people are already insecure about or that there's already less content about. Criticism from inside the house also seems to hit harder than from outside, for various definitions thereof. But I agree that there are bullies or just loud assholes everywhere, and it doesn't stop the juggernaut ships and fandoms. I think "the meanies made me not write f/f" is not a good analysis of the overall trend even if some specific people really did get bullied quite badly.

I do see people acting surprised that they don't like any f/f, yet not checking out media with multiple female leads. This is silly and we should move away from this along with ditching "There are no interesting female characters".

But another pattern I see is that, for the most part, really big fic fandoms come from things a ton of people consumed in the world overall. (The reverse isn't necessarily true: something can have mass mainstream popularity and no fic.) So even aside from willful blindness on the part of individual fans or personal reactions to gender, the overall lopsidedness of media does still matter for the big meta discussions that look at the ratio of stuff on AO3. If someone isn't really into small fandoms, they're going to have to go where the crowd is already going.

The top fandoms, according to tag search, are these (counts are different from current AO3 works if you click through, but they seem inflated by roughly similar amounts):

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling ‎(664365)

Marvel Cinematic Universe ‎(389476)

방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS ‎(289493)

Original Work ‎(273412)

Marvel ‎(233004)

Teen Wolf (TV) ‎(219504)

Haikyuu!! ‎(215127)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) ‎(208509)

原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) ‎(207259)

Star Wars - All Media Types ‎(188548)

Sherlock (TV) ‎(169092)

Batman - All Media Types ‎(137281)

Captain America (Movies) ‎(118954)

Minecraft (Video Game) ‎(117892)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) ‎(117489)

Video Blogging RPF ‎(110169)

Voltron: Legendary Defender ‎(105117)

Miraculous Ladybug ‎(104003)

Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan ‎(103914)

魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù ‎(101819)

文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs ‎(95606)

Merlin (TV) ‎(88893)

僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) ‎(86484)

NCT (Band) ‎(85868)

Dream SMP ‎(83222)

Stray Kids (Band) ‎(82711)

One Direction (Band) ‎(79490)

呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) ‎(78975)

Homestuck ‎(77676)

Game of Thrones (TV) ‎(77361)

Good Omens (TV) ‎(76805)

陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) ‎(73444)

DCU ‎(71054)

ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure ‎(70648)

Undertale (Video Game) ‎(68959)

A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin ‎(67854)

Star Trek ‎(67221)

Doctor Who ‎(65172)

Doctor Who (2005) ‎(65166)

呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) ‎(65109)

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett ‎(63727)

Once Upon a Time (TV) ‎(62211)

Avatar: The Last Airbender ‎(61743)

Hetalia: Axis Powers ‎(61343)

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy ‎(59581)

Iron Man (Movies) ‎(59158)

EXO (Band) ‎(58948)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types ‎(58055)

Hannibal (TV) ‎(56796)

Thor (Movies) ‎(56604)

I'm seeing some truly gargantuan franchises and their network of metatags, top Weekly Shounen Jump manga that are mega bestsellers far, far beyond how much any shojo manga sells in Japan, some of the biggest musical groups and most popular youtubers in the world, etc.

Some of these do seem a lot more popular with the AO3 crowd than the world in general, of course. It's not an exact 1:1 causal relationship between media's audience/impact and how much fic writers care or how much fic writers on AO3 care. It's certainly possible for fandom to make fetch happen with a relatively less popular canon; it's just not the default and not driving the big overall numbers.

I look at The Untamed and (often mistagged) MDZS) being on this list and I think of all those hot fanvids for f/f Chinese dramas.

I keep seeing fans watch one, go "Okay, I have got to watch that next!" only to be disappointed that the canon is a handful of 5-minute episodes, not some epic 50-episode thing like the censored m/m ones and the bromance ones and the het ones get. They want The Untamed-but-with-ladies, not the reality of those canons. I suppose there are some nominally-straight series with two female leads and not a heavy focus on a het romance with just a single female lead, but the one I'm thinking of was reportedly godawful and the people who saw potential between the women had no interest in writing fic about it.

Do any of those f/f c-novels have good translations? That's not what brings the big fic crowds (it's the adaptations that do that), but maybe I should try reading a few. I just keep getting turned off of Chinese webnovels in general by dodgy translations.

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obeyme-lost-thought · 11 months

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Mc × everyone: Their true aspect

We are a sheep, that cannon.

Now, let's think that we are a sheep because in the Devildom our human body needed time to adapt, a time more long than a year. So the brothers and others never have seen us as a human. Until..

(This story is set between 1 and 2 season of the original game)

________________________________

It was a normal day. Some work needed to be done in the Human World. Tha name of the city was pretty strange. From the moment Lucifer saw it, he had this thing in his head; it's not the first time he read it. But he didn't give a lot of importance to this sensation.

So, him, his brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos went in the Human World. Honestly, all them had to do different works, that why they choose to go together. In the program, at the end, there will be a dinner in a restaurant with Solomon. When he found their trip, he asked a 100 time for this dinner. Nobody known why, but they accepted.

So, coming back in the present, everyone is going for their way.

As the first of the four groups go on, Mammon and Levi feel a very strange thing. While they were walking, some people passed by their side. That seemed normal, except for the fact that their demon instinct were screaming! Looking everywhere, trying to understand what happened, no answers were found.

"Oi oi oi. I'm not crazy, right? Did you also feel it?"

"Yes, you moron. I feel it. I shouldn't had go out from my room. This things only happens to you normie!"

"What the heck connect don't watching anime with this thing!"

"I just know"

While the two fight over this strange experience, similar things happened to the others

Asmo and Satan had to meet a witch for get some information. Only problem was that they didn't know where the place they needed to go was. That why Satan was trying to understand a map that he found online. For an entire hour they went around all city looking for the meeting point. In the end, they found it. Now they are sitting in a cafe, waiting for the witch. Asmo notice a very pretty shop. It sell dresses that he already saw: they were what MC wear. A coincidence, sure. But his eyes were captured by the shop. Satan, in the meantime, was reading the menu. A lot of names were familiar, as if somebody always talked about them. After some thought, he remembered. MC talked of them, while they were watching a dramma set in a cafe. What a beautiful deja vo both brothers got

The twins needed to go a little more far that the others. On a little hill near the city, they spent the whole day collecting cursed objects left by occult fanatics during their rituals. They are very unlikely to succeed, and if for some reason they summon a demon, it is the least of their thoughts to clean up. Usually the task of collecting the important things is performed by low-level demons, but this time was one of the rare ones in which the ritual was performed correctly. This meant that the power of the items was high, and they had to take care of the collection. Now, with the sun slowly setting behind them, one of the twins has lost his gaze in the sky. The stars were slowly forming, thus remembering the evenings spent looking at the starry night at home. The sky of the human world, however, was different from that of the Devildom. He had seen it once, thanks to photos of the human he hated as much as he now loves. It was a series of printed photos, showing both the sky and the area where they were with some friends. An afternoon spent on Beel's bed, with Mc between them 2 who told him about the evenings eating pizza while looking at the sky. Strange though, was the extreme similarity between the photos and the place where they were. Still, it was late, so the ignored this feeling and started to go at the restaurant, even because Beel was hungry.

The three remaining, had just finished their work. They had stopped for a moment to record on the DDD how the match had gone; essentially a report. As they were doing this, a group stopped to watch them. Lucifer was convinced that it was because they were 3 hot guys, but overhearing their discussion he hears strange things.

"But is it them?" "From the photos in their room I think so" "I'm sure of black hair, I'm not sure about the other 2" "But in general, all the photos are strange. Just think of the pink and excessively curly hair they have. It's not their natural hair. And then the difference in height is more." "And the eyes? or the rest of them? If they hadn't told us it was them I would never have recognized them" "So, are they the guys in the photos or besides Mc are the others different too?"

Lucifer is about to go and ask what they want from them or why they called Mc name,but Barbatos reminds them that they have to go to the restaurant if they don't want to be late.

Then they start walking, but his thoughts were on the previous discussion and the description they had given of their "Mc". They were very similar to the human who lived with him for 1 year. Well, if human you can say. For the first few weeks, to prevent their body from deteriorating from the energy of the Devildom, the exchange student took on the appearance of a sheep. Only later, after they got used to it, did they look somewhere between sheep and human. A lower than normal height. Curly cotton-like hair of a strange pink hue. An inhuman skin color and other peculiarities in appearance. Eventually, though, everyone had gotten used to this particular human.

Arrived in front of the restaurant, waiting for them there was not only the magician, but also 2 angels that they knew. Ironically, they too had work to do here in the Human World, and when Solomon heard of it, he immediately invited them. Talking of this and that, slowly the groups arrived at their destination. They were all there now, or so they thought.

"Solomon, but when do we go in? I'm hungry"

"Sorry Beel, but you have to wait a little longer. The last guest is late"

"Sorry, but isn't it just us?" The older one asks in an annoyed tone.

"I have invited one last person. I think you will be pleased to meet them- Ah, there they are."he says, while pointing at a young person.

Walk slowly, almost embarrassed. They are dressed in a T-shirt and trousers that are somewhere between elegant and casual. Supernatural beings watch the human approaching in confusion. As soon as they are in front of them, one was the question that was spinning in their heads, but only one of them had the courage to ask it.

"Who are you?" Mammon say.

A light laugh comes from the unknown being, who looks first at Solomon and then at the others.

"I didn't say anything. You have to inform them of your identity."

Taking a deep breath, the stranger begins to answer the long-awaited question.

"You talk about being my first, and then you don't even recognize me?"

That voice that none of them could forget, responds to the many oddities that occurred during the day. The pacts that informed of their presence, the deja vu they had or the people who associated them with faces in photos. The first to throw himself on the former exchange student is Asmo, who begins to inspect them. Never, had they seen their original appearance. Luke can't help himself and hugs his friend. Mammon stammers trying to find an excuse not to have recognized them, without looking away. Every curve, every color is seen and imprinted in the memory of each of them. Lord Devil writes a note on the DDD to find a way to speed up the process of adapting the human body to the Devildom. All the laughter and surprised looks of the group are interrupted by a sound.

Grrrlll.

"I'm hungry"

"Hahaha. Yes, sorry Beel. Let's not wait any longer, let's go eat. Many times you have offered me lunch at Hell's kitchen, now it's my turn"

As everyone enters, one last feeling gets the answer for Lucifer. This is the city written in Mc's curriculum when he had to choose the exchange student. This is their home, or at least one of them.

________________________________

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