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#because he’s probably used to helping out his pal
sherbetyy · 7 months
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i think duck forgets he has diabetes because of the loop. but yellow doesn’t
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katakaluptastrophy · 5 months
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The thing about having read our way through two previous books full of necromancers and weird eldritch shenanigans is that the absolute horror of what happens to John as a person doesn't quite register.
John's own glib, matter of fact narration tells the story as an apotheosis. He was doing great. He'd have fixed everything if only people had listened.
But reading between the lines in the John chapters, you glimpse something rather different.
John basically spends the first half of the Jod chapters sitting in the dark with his creepy yellow eyes, not eating or sleeping, literally stroking his favourite corpses and coming out with chill and fun statements about how he can feel their skin when he's away from them and he's 'waking up'. Cool, cool.
Passing swiftly over the cow dome, Presidential Puppet Pals, and the suitcase nuke, day to day life in the cow dome must have been fun... You're all on the Interpol watchlist, the Vatican is asking a lot of questions, the police are outside and John - who hasn't slept in a week and doesn't eat anymore and is probably wearing some kind of weird novelty tshirt - comes wandering past while you're eating breakfast, followed by a dozen silent, dead-eyed corpses like some kind of mother hen. He makes a cow joke, and then zones out because he got distracted by listening to the bacteria in your gut.
And then some guys die accidentally and it turns out he can eat death energy. So now he's got creepy Twilight eyes, an entourage of corpses, a cape, some very dodgy eyeliner, and he's barely breaking a sweat as he instantly kills over 100 people, says it was an accident, and then, dead serious, tells his followers to drag dead UN peacekeepers inside to add to his 'skeleton army'.
By the end, he's not slept or eaten in weeks, is tweaking his own bodily processes on the fly, is puppeting the dead US president and possibly an army of over a hundred corpses, monitoring G- in Melbourne, carrying on at least two conference calls, and helping to build barricades out of chairs.
And I just keep thinking how weird it must have been for his friends. How sometimes he would have seemed like the man they'd known and loved for so long, and sometimes he would seem different. Did they ever find themselves mourning the man he was? Did they ever stand there as he tuned into something they couldn't fathom, staring at them with those yellow eyes, and feel some awful, uncanny valley terror? Did he ever feel like he was losing himself? At what point did the cow jokes stop feeling like oh, classic John and start to be a reminder that his desire for vengeance and the scope of his powers were outstripping his remaining...perspective?...restraint?...humanity?
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vivwritesfics · 9 months
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Keep On Rolling - MV1
Chapter One
Summary: Lando's best friend having feelings for anyone on the grid? Impossible, right? She worked with them, sharing her friendship with the grid with the world via the FormulaY/N youtube channel.
After film a video including... spicy water (alcohol), everything changes between her and a certain world champion. Good thing she hasn't had a crush on him since his F1 debut, right?
Right?
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Hello everybody! Long break, I know (life throws curveballs), but I'm taking the blog in a different direction. Hope you guys like my first F1 imagine, I'm really passionate about it.
Series Masterlist
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"Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of Paddock Pals," Y/N said to the camera, holding her microphone in her hand. "Now, if you're new to the channel or don't remember the first installment, Paddock Pals is where cameraman James and I go around the Formula One paddock, dressed in the best disguises, and try to have the weirdest interview possible with the drivers," she explained. "Whoever recognises us first wins the game."
Y/N L/N was maybe the biggest name in Formula One youtube. She brought something to the game that nobody else had - access to the drivers.
Growing up as best friends with Lando Norris had its perks. She got to make a career out of her friendship and got to travel the world. She wasn't much into the sport until she met Lando. Now, she was a woman obsessed.
"As you can probably tell, James and I are not yet in disguise. We're filming this the night before so we had head straight there tomorrow, catch them bright, early, and unaware." She was stood in her hotel room in Australia, going over the previous installment of Paddock Pals. "Last time we got caught out by the honey badger himself, Daniel Riccardo. So, this time around, Danny Ric is going to be helping us out by letting us do a pretend interview with him when we need to."
The cameraman walked over to the mirror, showing himself. "This year we're making predictions on who we think will catch us out. I think it'll be Charles this year," he said. "He's been suspicious for a while, always asking when we're doing the next episode."
"As always, I think it's going to be Lando," said Y/N when the camera turned back to her. "I always try to leave him until last because, if anybody is going to catch us out, it's going to be him."
After that, James cut the camera. They needed a break, a moment to gather themselves together. "You really think Charles?" Y/N asked as they changed over the head of her microphone. Usually, it was the FormulaY/N microphone, but she changed it to a generic black one for the Paddock Pals video. "Not Max or Oscar?"
"And why would I say Max?" Asked James with a grin. Y/N glared, but she didn't push. Charles was a good choice. He spent almost as much time with Y/N as Lando did. Her audience loved him, and she lived to keep her audience happy. That was what brought in the money. "Want to put a wager on this one?"
Y/N shook her head. She positioned herself ready to start filming again. They filmed late into the night, Y/N showing off the props and the outfits they were going to wear for the rest of the video. Her phone buzzed once, and they had to film the whole section again.
By the time they were finished they had barely any battery left in the camera and were ready for bed. James had left to go to his own room but Y/N was sitting on her bed, texting Lando. It wasn't anything important, wishing him good luck for tomorrow and complaining about the heat in Australia.
And then it was a restless sleep. When Y/N woke up in the middle of the night, she stayed up scrolling through her comments. It didn't make getting to sleep any easier for her, scrolling through the comments on her youtube videos and social media posts. There were positive fans, most of them seemed to be young women. But there were some, commenting on her appearance and calling her friendship with the grid fake. Some said she didn't know what she was talking about when it came to Formula One, that she was only there because she was sleeping with Lando.
Of course, none of it was true. It played over in Y/N's head nonetheless. Normally, Y/N would text Lando when this happened, but he was asleep. And sleep was desperately what he needed leading up to the qualifying.
Eventually, Y/N fell asleep, her phone still in her hand.
Y/N and James woke up to their alarms in the early hours of the morning. They got up, set up the camera and got into their disguises. "You're so lucky I was obsessed with special affects as a kid," said James as he attached the fake nose to Y/N's face. He placed a bushy moustache under it and handed her the coloured contacts to put in.
Y/N's clothing was heavily padded, hiding her shape. She had her hair hidden up in a cap and an obviously fake press pass. She just had to help nobody looked too closely.
James did his own disguise. He changed everything but the camera, but they just had to hope nobody noticed that, either. Once they were ready and had given an update to the viewers, Y/N and James made their way down to the paddock.
"A lot of people have been asking us to include Alonso and Stroll in these videos. Truth is, I only do these videos with the guys I'm close with. Fernando is such a legend that I get nervous around him, and I just haven't spent that time with Lance," she explained to the camera as they walked.
"And now, for our first victim," said James.
The drivers that walked past were the ones Y/N didn't have anything planned for. Sargeant, Stroll, Checo Perez. Y/N and James waited and waited until somebody came by.
Oscar Piastri. The poor, young Australian was Y/N's first victim. "Oscar! Welcome to your first home race in Formula One!" Y/N shouted, calling him over for an interview. The second question was normal, something Oscar was happy to answer. But then Y/N got a little strange. "As all F1 fans know, the man who had your seat before you loved to do a shoey. Have you managed to try one yet?" The question itself wasn't strange, but it was about to be.
Y/N slowly eased off her shoe as Oscar answered the question. When he answered no, not yet in Formula One, Y/N passed him her microphone. "Hold this for me," she said and picked her shoe up from the floor. She grabbed a can of beer from her coat pocket and poured the contents of it into her shoe. "Here, try mine."
Oscar's eyes went wide. "Uh, no thanks," he said and passed the microphone back to James. Without finishing the interview, Oscar walked away. Y/N couldn't blame him, she would have done the same.
"Warm up complete. Time for the real thing," said Y/N brushing down the hairs of her fake moustache.
The next driver to walk past was poor George Russell.
Y/N went on and on, asking the drivers the weirdest questions she could think of. Most finished the interview, or walked away before it had finished. Halfway through, Y/N had her interview with the honey badger himself, Daniel Riccardo. It wasn't a real interview, but they made it look as such. The end of the interview was made to look like a success.
After that, Y/N interviewed Ocon, Tsunoda, and Leclerc. Charles went on the longest out of any of the drivers. Y/N asked him questions about Ferrari and how sad he is after almost every race. He looked at her with confusion when she spoke, and Y/N thought she had been found out.
Y/N moved on. It was Verstappen next. Y/N asked weird questions and got the perfect response. He definitely knew, she thought as he laughed. Towards the end of the interview, Y/N felt the hat come off her head, revealing her hair. She gasped and turned around to see Charles stood there, her hat in hand. "I knew it!" He cried, using her hat to smack her shoulder. "I knew it was you!"
"And there you have it, folks," Y/N began, placing her hat back on her head. This time it didn't hide her hair. "This years winner of Paddock Pals is Charles Leclerc! What do you win, Mr Leclerc? Bragging rights, of course," she said and passed her microphone to the Monégasque.
Charles did an acceptance speech. Like everything he and Y/N did together, it was all for a laugh.
"That concludes this years episode of Paddock Pals. Thank you everybody for watching. Don't forget to like, subscribe, and join us next week and in Azerbaijan for the next race."
James cut off the camera. "And we're out," he said and pulled off his fake nose.
Y/N did the same, pulling off the fake nose and the moustache from her face. "Did you have any idea?" Asked Y/N, turning to Max. The heat in Australia was sweltering. Y/N worked on taking off her multitude of padded jumpers, leaving her in a loose, classy shirt and a pair of shorts.
Not answering, Max looked away and let out a laugh. Of course, he knew, thought Y/N. Shaking her head, she turned away from him. "Good luck, Super Max," she said and took her leave, walking away from the Paddock.
It wasn't race day, but her viewers didn't have to know that. It was qualifying and Y/N wouldn't miss it for the world. James left the paddock, going back to the room to begin editing the video. Y/N made her way to the grandstands to watch. She loved nothing more than sitting with the McLaren fans to watch the qualifying and the race. In most laces Lando's fans were her fans, but they were also respectful, asking for selfies before the qualifying began so she could watch in peace.
***
Race day meant race day vlogs for Y/N. Everything from getting ready to after the race, the people wanted to see it all. Y/N tried to dress her best for every race, this time a McLaren shirt with a white tennis skirt.
Cameraman James didn't accompany her for race day vlogs. Sometimes he was in them, watching the race alongside her, but that was a rarity. Y/N had a separate camera for her vlogs. The video quality was worse than when James had his big camera, but the quality wasn't what people were there for.
After having breakfast and getting her final bits ready, Y/N headed down to the paddock. It had become a tradition that she heads down there to wish Lando good luck. She filmed herself going down to the paddock and wishing Lando luck, but turned off the camera after that.
"You look tired," said Lando as Y/N put the camera down.
Y/N shrugged her shoulders. "I thought my makeup covered it up," she answered, leaning against the wall.
Rolling his eyes, Lando put his arms around her shoulders and pulled her away from the wall. "You could have texted me if you couldn't sleep."
"And make you tired before the race? No way, Norris."
Lando laughed. "You better get going to the grandstands," he said, walking her to the edge of the garage.
Nodding, Y/N followed him. "Good luck out there, Lando Norris," she said and kissed his cheek.
Y/N filmed herself making her way to the grandstands. She turned off her camera for more selfies with the fans and waited for the race to begin.
The race started smoothly. Of course, Verstappen was on pole, but that's why they called him Super Max. He had Sainz, Hamilton and Leclerc behind him. Lando was stuck in the midfield, but Y/N still cheered him on.
Lap twenty and Lando was taken out of the race. "Shit!" Y/N cried, standing up. She watched as he was stuck in the barrier and thanked God he was near the pits. He drove the car into the garage and Lando climbed out.
Biting her nails, Y/N pulled out her phone and texted Lando.
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Letting out a breath, Y/N pulled out her camera. "Update on the race, Lando has just retired after a crash. He's okay. He's in the garage right now and the race is still ongoing. Our favourite driver might be out of the race, but our second favorite is still going," she said and put the camera down.
Y/N sat back in her seat. She turned her attention back to the race, keeping her phone on and in her lap in case Lando needed her.
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chronicbeans · 4 months
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Platonic Alastor x Maladaptive Daydreamer Reader
Hehe not me self-projecting again! Anyways, these are kinda based on my own experiences, but I'm trying to make them more generalized.
TW: Maladaptive daydreaming, escapism, dissociation, mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mentions of compulsive behavior/OCD, invasion of privacy, manipulation, peer pressure, yandere-ish behavior (I believe he defaults to those behaviors, no matter the type of relationship), mention of cannibalism (this is Alastor we're talking about...), Alastor is a shitty toxic friend in this
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• He's absolutely fascinated by the way your mind works. Even before he knows what is going on, or begins to get close to you, he can tell you are an interesting person. The way you look so distant, like your mind is checked out and flying to far off places without you, is something he hasn't seen before. He wants to pick and prod at your brain to see what's going on.
• He doesn't want to do so the easy way, though. No. Instead, he wants to drag out this process for as long as possible, and make sure you twist and squirm all the while. He loves to make people uncomfortable, after all! That's his specialty, in his opinion, besides his radio show.
• He'll start off with introductions, of course, which is probably when he first got interested in you. That dreamy look isn't so easy to see from a distance, after all. The second he looked into your eyes while shaking your hand, though, it became obvious. How hadn't he seen it before? If he saw this look when he first entered, he would've talked to you first out of the crew at the Hazbin Hotel. Well, besides Charlie... But, that's just because she owns the place.
•The uncomfortable prodding starts in an instant. One of his first questions after getting your name is not "What made you want to come to the hotel?" or "What can you provide to help the hotel?" It's more like "How did you die?", "What are your major vices?", and "What sin have you committed to be brought to Hell?" He wants to test the waters. See what he can get away with without completely scaring you off. If you run away and avoid him, it'd be harder to learn what he wants, and make you uncomfortable while doing so.
• Regardless of whether or not you answer, you are probably a little put off from him. Not enough to completely avoid him, since you can see how some of those questions might help him help the hotel, but enough to be uncomfortable... Which, in his opinion, is perfect!
• He's great at hiding, so if you start noticing him mentioning things you thought were private, you really shouldn't be surprised. He can, quite literally, hide in the shadows at times. He quickly takes notes of your little habits, including ones you might be embarrassed about.
• He may watch you pacing around your room, mumbling to yourself as if you are playing pretend all alone. Or, maybe, he's hiding over your shoulder while you're writing down some elaborate storyline. Perhaps he's watching you in plain sight, seeing you make a bunch of odd facial expressions at seemingly nothing. He may not know why you do this, but he wants to. He would've suspected some sort of substance use, considering it's Hell. Lots of people do so. However, he's never seen you near anything that would cause such behavior. So, that's off his list, for now.
• So, step 2 of his plan begins! As his good ol' pals Husk and Niffty to try befriending you! Or, at the very least, get information from you that you aren't comfortable telling him. Then, have them report back to him with their findings. Of course, Husk seems agitated by the request, but obliges. Niffty seems more than happy to do as he asks, though. A happy worker is a good worker, so he has more hope in Niffty getting the big story than Husk.
• Surprisingly, though, he's proven wrong. The most Niffty got was your fashion sense, favorite types of stories, and that you are very "quiet". Yes, the fashion and types of stories were new to him... But what he seems important, the reason you act so oddly, isn't there. Husk, however, was able to get a lot more out of you, somehow.
• Husk mentions you talking to him, one night, after he saw you skipping oddly down the hall and pass the bar where he was cleaning the glasses before closing it for the night. You seemed extremely embarrassed to have been seen, mentioning that you thought he was asleep already. He then just, politely asked a few questions...? And got answers? How?
• Alastor immediately demands answers, only for Husk to reply "I don't know how to describe it like they did! Most I understood is that they daydream too much. Seems like it's a constant thing going on. They like to pace and prance while doing so, sometimes, but don't like getting caught."
• Now it begins to make more sense... the writing, the talks about stories with Niffty, the prancing and pacing... and most importantly, that dreamy, distant look you have. He can even see why you'd make odd expressions. You're reacting to your own thoughts... He doesn't understand it. He's never heard of anything like this before, especially during his time as a human, but he can tell one thing for certain: You must be his friend, now. Whether you like it or not.
• You are so different from everyone else he's met, you see, and he loves things that go against the norm. Now, while you may or may not be considered normal or not too different by others, you're different and abnormal to him. You somehow succeed in both being polite, smart, and funny to mess around with, while also barely being able to pay attention to the world around you. He's always thought that those two things were mutually exclusive. How can you learn when you can't stop being in your own head? How can someone be polite and not listen? The funny part, though... He can kind of see that. He finds surprising you be sneaking up behind you and tapping your shoulder funny every now and again. Nevertheless, you are going to be his friend.
• Soon enough, you notice his behavior changing, a bit. Less following you around, less vaguely threatening words, and more... quiet. It's eerie, coming from him. However, you also notice him trying to talk to you about stories and books he's heard and read. Even things he's heard during his human life, such as Creole folktales and other stories he's heard in New Orleans, Louisiana back in the 1920s-1930s. It's a bit like a completely different side to him you never expected to see, and never really wanted to, but you aren't really complaining. It's better than him deciding to terrorize you for fun and him asking invasive questions...
• A little more time passes and he decides to ask about small habits, disguising them as him just now noticing those habits, when he's probably noticed them while spying on you months prior. Nothing too extreme. Mostly just your expressions, how it seems like your attention is somewhere else... Nothing like your pacing, prancing, or acting. He wants to establish that he knows about these tiny little things, and now that you're more comfortable with him, you're much more likely to answer. That way, once he moves onto the bigger, more personal questions, you'll already have been eased into feeling comfortable with it.
• Eventually, you get to the point where you feel comfortable calling him a friend. He's already considered you one since that conversation with Husk, but it's a start. Now, he's gotten the lovely privilege of being able to know more about what's going on in that lovely little brain of yours... well, "little" brain is definitely an understatement. From how you describe your imagination, he'd be led to believe your mind must be as vast as the Library of Alexandria.
• Vast worlds, complicated plotlines, complex characters... you talk of odd tales you've created, all in your brain. Ones you've had in your mind for years, some you came up with on a whim, and others, still, that are still being developed. Stories that have been being created over the span of real life years, ones you started then dropped... All of which are being held in your head, with only a miniscule fraction of it being written onto paper. He's truly impressed, genuinely respecting your odd talent, as he sees it. You've perfected the craft of creativity, while he's perfected the art of talking to an audience. Even better, is that he got to learn whether or not his theory of you taking inspiration from stories you've heard was right. Which explains his sudden mentions of stories he's heard in life.
• Now... if only you'd let him tell some of your stories on his radio show! If you wouldn't like that, then he'd probably ask you to write something for his show. That way, it isn't as personal to you, and you wouldn't even need to be credited if you're embarrassed by it! He could just say a random listener sent it in, and he thought it'd be great to read, to show his appreciation for his adoring fans. The world simply must hear the greatness of your mind, dear, and he is not going to stop annoying politely asking you to write something until you do.
• Another thing he might try is to see if he can figure out why you partake in this little habit of yours. He's never heard of it, though he has asked some sinners and demons if they have. Be it Charlie, Angel Dust, some of the other overlords, or a friend of his we haven't seen or heard of, before. More modern sinners keep mentioning a thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming, describing it as a symptom of other mental health diagnoses... but that's the problem. That fits you, you've mentioned that you know of that and it fits you... but that's also just a symptom. Well, a few argue that it may be its own thing, but it is not an official diagnosis yet. So, for now, he wants to figure out why you do it.
• Is it depression? Anxiety? Do you really want to escape from something, and you're doing so by hopping into that little dream land of yours? Is it some sort of compulsion? You seem to not really be able to control it that well, after all, and others have mentioned links to OCD, as well as other disorders that can cause compulsions. Is it sheer, absolute, chronic boredom? Speak to him, dear! What is it? Do you even know? If not, he'll assume it's the boredom option... for now.
• He's obsessed with you, really. You're his friend, and he's very obsessive over them, in his own way. He is as far away from normal when it comes to showing real affection for others, which wouldn't be bad, if it weren't for the fact that a main part of it is him being absolutely suffocating when he's around. That, and he can be terrifying... He's the Radio Demon, after all! It's just worse for you than his other friends, though, because you are different. Being different is a really important thing for him, really, alongside being polite, smart, and funny. Not required, unlike the last three traits, but it makes you more likely to be his friend. You hit the lottery by achieving being all four, but it must be the worst lottery prize in the world.
• He holds the thought that you should just be friends with him. Now, you don't have to be... but, he'd prefer it. If you really want outside friends, sure! You just can't be friends with his other friends. He claims they'd "taint" you with how violent they can be. Plus, since he's friends with other cannibals, some of which do serve sinner and demon meat to others without telling them, he genuinely does worry about your safety and wellbeing if you met those specific friends of his. For your friends, he wants to meet them. He needs to in order to deem them worthy of being your friend, and to make sure it's not someone he knows and is friends with. You deserve perfection, and who knows perfection better than Alastor, yes? After all, he can see that you're perfect. That is more than enough evidence, dear.
• You're one of the few people who he doesn't mind having your attention not on him. Part of your charm, in his opinion, is your lack of attention. All he asks is that you tell him about a story of yours. What is going on in your head that's so important? Oh, a great war between this and that? A psychological horror? Cities beneath the sea? Tell him about it. He finds it fun! Especially if he can see any possible inspiration from events or other stories. He likes to hear your voice almost as much as he likes to hear his own, which you'll realize is more of a compliment than it might sound like, once you truly get to know him.
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seat-safety-switch · 1 year
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Car theft is a really big issue in my neighbourhood. Every couple of days, there'll be an announcement in the news about another person whose car has been yoinked by the creeps. It's easy to blame the victim, and doing so helps make us feel better about our own risk of falling prey to the same crime. And so that's what I'm going to do. This is their own fault for having cars that run.
A couple years ago, someone tried to steal the Diplomat I leave parked around the side of the house. I don't think you need me to tell you that it doesn't run. In fact, I have never seen this vehicle running under its own power. It is mostly used to store parts for the other Mopars. I thanked the universe for providing me with some free entertainment. Either this thief is a better mechanic than I am and would get it running, or they might leave some tools behind in frustration after an hour or two of trying to figure out why the choke doesn't work.
What I didn't expect was this: they went back to their car, drove off, then came back with a new battery. A new one! With the stickers still on it and everything. If you are not "into" the shitbox-ownership life, you may not understand the value of a new car battery. That value is approximately one hundred dollars, and in order to get it, you have to go to a store and spend money. Suffice it to say, my starter-battery infrastructure is a marvel of hackjob backyard engineering that would probably get me hired by a solar energy company, if any of them could write an even quarter-assed liability release.
After installing it under the hood, the Diplomat again didn't start, possibly because the 318 had been sawed in half by a self-destructing crankshaft sometime around 1993. It was at this point that my greed took over. Reaching over to my security system, I activated it. It's worth pointing out at this juncture that by "security system" I mean a moat of spilled petrochemicals around my home, and by "activated it," I mean that I dropped the candle I had been using for light into the aforementioned petrochemicals. My big tough thief ran into the night, terrified of a little fire. I stepped right through that fire, retrieved his brand-new battery, and took it inside.
For weeks after that, I wondered if the thief would come back. Maybe he did have big enough balls to sic the cops on me for taking his battery. Perhaps – and this thought excited me very much – he was dumb enough to bring me another battery. Sadly, he never returned, which made me surprisingly maudlin. I had scared off a potential new friend: someone who was willing to spend money to try and fix up a free Diplomat. In an effort to meet my accidental Mopar-pal again, I thought about going into car thievery for myself, but none of my neighbours owned anything interesting.
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sorbetisfruity · 1 year
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So, fun lil fact about me, I’m southern. And I don’t really have the whole southern/country accent unless I get super mad and start yellin’</3
So now I’m thinking about Epel finding out you’re southern and freaking out because omg!!!! You’re like him!!!!!
No one else has the little country accent he does:((((
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You, Epel, Grim, and probably Ace, Jack, Sebek, and Deuce are walking around school because you guys have some free time. You guys haven’t seen the entire school because y’all are first years, so you’re exploring together!!
How fun is that?
So, you guys are walking around, pointing out things you haven’t noticed or seen before.
Like classes you haven’t taken and teachers you’ve never heard of.
And it’s all peaceful until you hear someone yelling your name from behind you.
You obviously turn around, thinking it might be one of your other friends or one of the housewardens needing some help.
But instead you’re met nearly fist to face with a Savanaclaw student.
Luckily you were able to dodge before his fist hit you.
“Dude, what the hell? What’s your problem?” You say, staring at his fist that’s now clenched tightly at his side.
“You’re my fuckin problem!! You fucking bitch!!” He screams, his pointer finger digging into your chest.
He continues to scream at you as the guys try to get him off of your ass. Jack is trying to pull him back and Ace and Deuce are cussing him out. Grim is threatening to spit some fire and Epel is helping Jack. Sebek is in front of you, guarding you from any attacks he may lay on you.
(Epel wants to seem more manly in front of you guys</3)
And finally, you get to the point where you’ve had enough and get sick of trying to solve this nicely.
“If ya wan’ a fight then you’re gonna get a fight douchebag..” you say, country accent slipping through.
“The fuck you say? Come on, speak up pussy!” The savanaclaw student growls, pushing past Jack and Epel, and shoving Sebek out of the way to come face-to-face with you.
“I said…” you grabbed the collar of his shirt, “if you wan’ a fight, you’re gonna get one. And don’t call me a pussy, you fuckin’ dipshit!”
You sock him in the jaw, making him fall back and nearly land on Jack and Epel.
The guys are absolutely flabbergasted because one, they didn’t know you had a country accent and two, they weren’t expecting you to HIT him.
You glare at the student on the floor as he holds his jaw in pain.
“Did that knock any sense inta’ ya?” You taunted, continuing to glare up at him as he scrambles to his feet. “Now ya know not to fuck wit’ me, right? Are we clear? Ya know to stay away from me and my pals?”
The savanaclaw student frantically nodded his head, and quickly ran away from you afterwards, tail in between his legs.
“God bless his heart…” you mumbled, turning to face your friends, whom of which were all staring at you with wide eyes.
“…what?”
“Dude…that was AWESOME!!!! You never told us you can punch like that!!!” Ace exclaimed, shaking you frantically.
“Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?” Jack asked, putting a hand on your shoulder.
“No-no, I’m fine sweetheart I’m fine..” you sigh.
Jack blushed at the pet name, tail wagging excitedly.
“Human, do you need me to call Malleus for some assistance? He’s much stronger than you so he’ll be able to take care of that guy for you!!!” Sebek all but screams into your ear.
“That’s a nice offer but, imma have ta’ decline. Sorry Sebek..”
“Prefect, your voice..” Deuce started, pointing at you.
“Ya have an accent?? A country accent? No way!!” Epel looked up at you as he fangirled, grabbing your hands.
“Oh!! Uh, yeah. It only, ya know, pops out when I’m mad and start yellin’, as you can tell..” you giggle nervously, blushing at all of the attention you were now receiving.
“Henchman, that was so cool!” Grim even praised you, jumping onto the shoulder that wasn’t occupied.
And the entire day, all they talked about was how badass it was that you nearly knocked out a savanaclaw student. Bragging to everyone and anyone who’d listen (and who wouldn’t listen) about how cool the Ramshackle Prefect is.
Epel mainly talked about your country accent and asked stuff about your hometown:(((
And you just knowwwww Epel went back to the dorm and told Rook and Vil all about it. Rook is fangirling just like Epel and Vil just couldn’t be more pissed off.
He’s been trying so god damn hard to break Epels accent, now he’s gotta break yours too?!?!
Ugh, must he do everything around here??
❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀
DUDE WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME HOW HARD IT WAS TO WRITE A COUNTRY ACCENT??? I am never doing that again unless I absolutely need too whhshwhebsbssbsb:((((
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rebeliz7 · 8 months
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We have to stop meeting like this
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Natasha Romanoff x Doctor Reader 
Request: Can you do Natasha x non avenger/reader where reader is very possessive and protective over her wife “Listen pal. There are two things I need from you. Number 1 is get away from my wife and number 2 is stay the hell away from my wife.” Natasha finds her wife’s treats very amusing, considering she’s the black widow and can more than well take care of herself.
Word Count: 2255
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You’re about to leave the hospital, your shift having just ended, when your phone rings. 
You see Steve’s name on the screen, and your heart stops for a second before you slide a trembling finger across the screen to answer. 
“You need to come in.” He says after murmuring a soft greeting, and you immediately become terrified. 
“Steve, is she - ”
“She’s okay.” He hurries to explain, probably realizing his mistake. “She’s fine, she’s a little beaten up, but she’s fine.”
“She’s alive.” You assure yourself, before taking a deep breath, and gathering your things. “Give me fifteen minutes.”
The moment you get to the Compound you know that Steve was more than vague in his explanation, because you walk into the most chaotic state you’ve ever seen the Avengers in. 
Thor is speaking loudly, his voice booming and making the windows shake lightly while Tony rubs his temples, trying to soothe a certain headache. Sam is nursing a bleeding arm on the couch, and he looks pissed as he raises his voice at Tony too. 
Steve, on the other hand, seems to be trying to keep everyone in check while Wanda and Carol sit on the nearest couch looking exhausted. No one notices you at first.
“Good evening, Doctor.” Scratch that, Friday notices you, and suddenly everyone else does too. They all fall silent the moment they see you, and when no one opens their mouth you rush down the hallway to the med-bay, terrified all over again. 
“Wait up.” Someone calls behind you.
“What the hell happened out there?” You ask over your shoulder, and you realize that everyone is coming with you. 
“You know we can’t tell you what happened.” Steve says calmly, and you turn around abruptly causing him to  stumble trying to catch himself before running into you.
You notice that his brow is bleeding from a small cut, and his suit has a tear on its chest, and he looks exhausted. 
“I don’t want the details of the mission, Steve. I meant what happened to my wife.” You clarify, and he looks to his left as he swallows, and then nods. 
“Bullet wound.” He says, and you close your eyes as you take a deep breath. Then you turn around, and resume walking.
You know how secretive Natasha’s work is, and you understand the risks. She’s an Avenger, and protecting the world is her job. Injuries are, at this point, just a professional hazard for her. 
Still, she’s your wife, and over the years you’ve only become more protective of her instead of more accustomed to the inevitability of these kinds of calls. 
“She should have waited.” You hear Tony say, as you round a corner. 
“Yeah, and you were a load of help.” Sam says sarcastically, and you begin to pay closer attention to their conversation. 
“More help than you, that’s for sure. Getting yourself shot the second you showed up.” Tony snarks back, getting angrier by the second.
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“You put us all in danger by going for that computer, Stark.” Thor says, and the steel in his voice is terrifying to hear. “You are not a team player.”
“Newsflash, beach boy.” Tony starts, just as you reach the med-bay. “We need that computer if we want to put an end to this nightmare.”
“That’s enough.” Carol says, and even you straighten up at hearing her command. “Not now.”
The second you spot your wife you rush to her side, while simultaneously assessing the situation with a critical eye. Her waist is patched up, and you breathe a little easier when you realize that the bullet must have not hit anything vital. She’s being hydrated intravenously, and they’ve administered an antibiotic. Other than that, she just seems to be sleeping. 
You know she heals faster than a regular person, but you can’t help but feel as scared as you do every time that she comes home with a bruise, let alone a bullet wound. She’s not invincible, despite the world’s beliefs. 
You take a moment to look at her before you press your lips softly to her temple, and pull up the sheets to cover up to her chin. You pick up her chart next. 
The bullet went through and through just like you thought. They just had to patch her up, the wound was already healing when they brought her in. 
“She should have waited.” Tony says again, and you pick up on the fear lacing his tone. Natasha and Tony go way back, you know he’s her oldest friend among the Avengers, and he wouldn’t put her in danger deliberately.
So whatever’s happened, you rest easy at knowing that he had her back. He always does.  
“That’s enough, Stark.” Carol speaks again, her voice is steel  now, and it scares you slightly. “You can try to justify what happened out there all you want, but we all know the truth. We all heard what you said. We all know that it was you who gave Natasha the go-ahead. So stop. Nat is on this bed because of you. Own it.”
The silence that falls upon the room is deafening, and your confusion only increases the moment Natasha opens her eyes. 
“Jesus, Danvers! You’re being way too harsh.” Your wife rasps with humor in her tone. You know she’s okay, but that still doesn’t stop you from leaning down to kiss her lips the moment she’s done speaking. “Who called my wife?” She asks, her hand cupping your face as you comb her hair back with your fingers before kissing her again. 
“We gotta stop meeting like this.” You joke, and she scrunches up her nose. 
“You think you’re funny.” She says, her thumb caressing your cheek.
“Yeah, well. You married me.” You shrug, and she smiles up at you. 
However, your joy at having your wife in one piece is quickly snatched away when you can feel the rising tension among her team again. 
“We can talk about this later.” Steve says, as you sit down on the edge of the mattress, your wife’s hand in yours as you both turn your attention to her friends. 
“Of course.” Tony says, but you can hear the sarcasm in his voice, and so can everyone else. 
“Tony, come on. We’ll talk about it later.” Wanda insists, her hand on his forearm, but he’s quick to shake her hand off, and step closer to the bed, his eyes firmly locked on your wife. 
“You were an idiot!” He points a finger at Nat, and it’s your turn to frown. 
“Tony.” Sam, and Carol try to stop him but he continues to advance on your wife anyway. 
“What the hell are you talking about?” You wife asks as you slowly stand up. 
“That’s enough, Tony. Come on, man.” Steve intervenes, but Tony ignores him, his eyes still trained on your wife.
“Aren’t you supposed to be the master spy? The brains of this bunch, besides me?” He shouts, his anger sparking your own, and you find yourself pushing him back before he can take another step closer to Natasha. 
“Listen  here, pal.” You growl, as he stumbles back a couple of steps. “There are two things I need from you right now. One: Stop yelling at my wife, and Two: Stay the hell away from her. Got it?”
“Seriously?” He raises an eyebrow at you, and you step closer, daring him to try you. He may be Iron Man, and a dear friend, but you’re Natasha’s wife, and he’ll have to respect that. 
You glare until he takes a step back in response, still frowning. He looks at Nat over your shoulder, and you hear her snicker. 
“I’d listen to her, Tony.” She tells him, and you can hear the amusement in her voice. She’s not angry, or hurt, despite Tony’s frustrations. 
“Is anyone seeing this?” He asks, his index finger pointing at your chest, as he looks at everyone else in this room. 
“Come on, man.” Steve sighs again, and you catch Carol smirking, as Wanda rounds the bed to get closer to Natasha. 
When Tony looks at you again you can see the regret in his eyes as clear as day. You don’t know what happened out there, but you don’t blame him for your wife being on this bed. Natasha doesn’t take uncalculated risks, at least not since you two got married. Whatever decision she made during their mission was her own, you’re certain of that. 
“How about a shower, and a nap?” You tell him, your hand on his arm now, and he lets out a deep breath. He looks exhausted, and he’s a dear friend of yours too. You need him rested, and taken care of before he attempts to speak to Natasha again. “Come back later, we’ll be here all night.”
“Yeah.” He nods, and he leaves quickly, leaving you surrounded by equally exhausted superheros. 
“How do you do that?” Sam asks you, as Carol and Steve walk closer to the bed too. 
“Do what?” You ask him, feigning ignorance.
“You know what.” He says, and Carol is laughing when you turn around. 
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“What’s so funny?” You wife asks her as you sit on the mattress, and begin running your fingers through her hair again. You smile to yourself as the Avengers gather around your wife’s bed. 
“Nothing, really.” Carol shakes her head, and your wife frowns, fixes Carol with a glare that only makes the Captain laugh harder as she turns around, and makes for the door. 
“Don’t say it.” Sam shakes his head, also amused and you’re tempted to laugh at the look on their faces but you limit yourself to watching the interaction. 
“What?!” Your wife insists. 
“Well, your wife is a lot scarier than you these days.” Carol shrugs, one foot in the hallway already, and Sam hides his laughter behind a very fake coughing fit. 
“And that’s funny why?” Your wife asks, and Steve shakes his head, finally smiling. 
“You’re the Black Widow.” Carol deadpans, and your wife glares harder. 
“It is kinda true.” Wanda says, nodding her head, and your wife huffs in disbelief this time. 
“Children, the bunch of you.” You call them, as you stand up again to put an end to their teasing. Natasha really does need to rest, as do all of them. “Go, take showers please. And eat something.” 
“Yes, ma’am.” Steve says with humor in his voice, and you roll your eyes as you practically push him out of the room.
When they’re gone, you close the door before taking off your jacket, and heels.
“What are you doing?” Your wife asks with a smile, even while she scoots over on the mattress, already making room for you. 
You get in bed with her, your arms wrapping around her middle as she presses her lips to your temple, and hugs you tight. 
“You need a shower too.” You tell her after a little while, and she pinches your arm as she laughs.
“Rude.” She says, but you’re quick to kiss her lips. 
“Babe, I love you. But you’re all sweaty and gross right now.” 
“I was shot!” She reminds you, and you hum in response. 
“No need to remind me.” 
“I’m sorry.” She apologizes. “I got distracted for just one second.”
“What happened?” You ask her.
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“There was this really cute tabby-cat, and he was right in the middle of - ”
“Hold on.” You interrupt her, your hand in the air. “Please tell me that you didn’t get shot because of a cat, Natasha.”
The silence that you’re met with is answer enough, but she looks absolutely adorable as she grimaces, and pulls back a few inches from you. But that’s exactly who she is, isn’t it? She’s the kind of person that would get shot because she was trying to protect someone… or in this case a cat. 
“You really are scary.” She tells you, and you roll your eyes again. You know she likes cats but this is just ridiculous. 
“I swear!” You huff, and she hugs you closer, her lips pressing sweet kisses on your shoulder again. “Do they know why you got shot?”
“Wanda does.” She says with a smile. 
“That girl is always helping you when you’re reckless.”
“That’s why I love her.” Natasha smiles wider this time, and her wandering lips continue to press kisses along your neck, your jaw. 
“If you think you’re getting lucky while you’re lying on a bed after getting shot because you saved a cat, think again.” You tell her with a pointed look and she lets out a disappointed breath, a smile on her face as she presses one last kiss on the corner of your lips.
“You need to tell Tony that. He thinks you got shot because of him.” You tell her quietly.
“I know.” She sighs, and you can see how tired she feels. 
“Thanks for defending me.” She says after a few minutes of lying in silence. 
“Anytime.” You grin cheekily at her, and she presses one last kiss on your cheek before getting more comfortable. 
You both know that she doesn’t need you standing up for her. She could have handled Tony on her own, and she can take her teammates teasing. They all know how far to push after all. She is the Black Widow. 
But ‘Black Widow’, ‘ex-assassin’, ‘deadliest woman alive’ or not she’s still your wife, and the love of your life and you will always, always stand up for her. 
… 
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weirdmarioenemies · 7 months
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Name: Neo Bowser City (aka Koopa City in PAL regions)
Debut: Mario Kart 7
Do you ever think of all the weird locations we only ever see in Mario Kart games? Despite being the biggest of all of Mario's spin-off franchises, when you really get down to it, remarkably few Mario Kart courses are actually based on established Mario locations!
It's not none, there's the occasional Donut Plains and Tick-Tock Clock and Airship Fortress, but most of the courses are these weird one-off locations we never see outside the context of that specific racetrack.
But have you ever taken a moment to step back and like, think of the Lore Implications of some of these places?
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Like okay! Bowser just owns this whole dang cyberpunk city and we only ever see it in the context of Kart Racing! How messed up is that?!
One day Mario and Friends were looking for new places to race, and Bowser must have said something like "Gwah-hah-hah! I bet you puny punks could NEVER beat me in a race in my cyberpunk metropolis!" and right then and there it was established that Bowser owns a cyberpunk metropolis. Neo Bowser City is a city that exists in the Super Mario World and aside from returning in other Mario Kart games, it hasn't been acknowledged before or since.
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Neo Bowser City first appeared in Mario Kart 7, as the third course in the Star Cup. Despite its flashy visuals, it actually doesn't really have a whole lot going on. It's a difficult track with some tight turns made more difficult by the rain making things more slippery, but besides that it doesn't really have any of the Wacky Obstacles that define so many Mario Kart courses.
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Then it returned in Mario Kart 8 looking more gorgeous than ever! The bright colors really pop out, and the whole track is just oozing with detail that really emphasizes the scale of this city!
But like, the emphasized scale really only further raises the question of where this exists in the Mario World. Clearly, the fact that Bowser is plastered all over the billboards and the fact it's named "Neo Bowser City" helps us deduce that this city probably belongs to Bowser. Is this located in Bowser's Kingdom? Just how big is Bowser's Kingdom? And why does he own so many separate castles?
Maybe Neo Bowser City exists in the future? Is this a bad timeline? I mean, Mario Kart is allowed to have time-travel shenanigans. There's a Splatoon battle arena and that exists thousands of years in the future so sure, dust off Mario's Time Machine and head to the bad future where Bowser wins. Should've pressed that New Super Mario Bros. big yellow P-Switch!
I asked my friend Mod Chikako for their input and their theory is that Neo Bowser City isn't the future of Mario's world, but of our world. Clearly Bowser just couldn't take Wreck-It-Ralph losing the Oscar vote!
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But in that case I guess it's a cooler cyberpunk future than the one we're living in right now. Corporate monopolies that run mass-surveillance with little government intervention due to their extreme wealth giving them extensive political power? No thank you! Neo Bowser City has bright neon colors, and flying cars! If I'm going to live in a dystopia, I want it to be a fun one. The only advertisements I want to see plastered everywhere are ones advertising Bowser!
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Boo! That's the bad guy! Thumbs down!
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The course returns again in that pitiful mobile game with another redesign, this time letting us see his Coney Island Disco Palace off in the distance. Does Bowser live in his Neo City? Is this worldbuilding we've been missing out on for decades, finally answered by a kart racer? Is this the capital city of Bowser's Kingdom? Am I once again falling victim to my perpetual hubris of overthinking the Mario franchise?
Really, I can't offer too much in terms of wacky fan theories, because I'm still thinking about this location existing in the first place. I'd love to know the Lore and worldbuilding here, but I guess the nature of Mario's canon is that it doesn't need to be over-analyzed. Bowser simply owns a cyberpunk metropolis, we'll only ever see it in the context of kart racing, and maybe that's okay.
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Of course, this post wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention Dinohattan from the 1993 Super Mario Bros. Movie, which we've barely talked about on this blog somehow. You see, when the meteor hit, some of the dinosaurs escaped into a parallel timeline where they then evolved into humans, and then they built Dinohattan instead of Manhattan. Get it? Yeah, that movie is all sorts of bonkers. I wouldn't say it's very good, but I kinda love it. I'd recommend checking it out, if only to see a vastly different take on Mario than you'd be used to.
Anyway I bring this up because it's a completely separate instance of a version of Bowser building a large cyberpunk metropolis, and it actually predates Neo Bowser City! Do you think they could be connected? Are Dinohattan and Neo Bowser City one and the same...?
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diagonal-queen · 2 months
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HELLO!! i keep requesting them sotty im obsessed but what about hunting dogs with a s/o who has a child😅😅i got silly again
Hunting Dogs with your child
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♡ pairing: Fukuchi Ouchi, Jouno Saigiku, Tecchou Suehiro, Teruko Okura (platonic), Tachihara Michizou x gn!Reader
♡ synopsis: How do these goofballs fare as stepdads? (or, in Teruko's case, fun auntie?)
♡ cw: Swearing, unofficial stepfathering, unrealistically good stepfathering, reader's ex situation is not established but it's assumed that their baby momma/daddy is not in the picture (Tachihara), mentions of violence
note: I just haven't written anything in ages, and for that I apologise. Wow, being in university is time consuming! I've had block for months and it's been an absolute pain in the arse but I'm back babey! Keep your requests coming anon- I am the Hunting Dogs whisperer and I will write them till I die. Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x
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Fukuchi:
My dude is so so so enthusiastic. You mean to tell him that he gets a beautiful loving partner AND a new little guy to hang out with?? Sign him tf up
This man buys your kid so many presents it's genuinely concerning. Your child is spoilt to hell and back by Fukuchi. You need to discourage him from this behaviour STAT
He constantly uses dad words like 'buddy' and 'pal' and 'kiddo' to refer to your kid and they eventually start responding to these nicknames lol
He would totally also do dad stances and just embrace the fatherly aura that is slowly overtaking him day by day (bro starts falling asleep on the couch while the game's on at 9pm)
He's actually surprisingly gentle with your child. If they cry he'll pick them up and comfort them very well. He's like a whole different person when your kid is scared or sad- it's the cutest thing ever
If your child ever gets him a Fathers' Day present he'll probably cry like old man tears of joy. In fact if your child ever does anything nice for him he'll be incredibly touched. Kinda reminds him what he's doing his job for :')
Tells your child great exaggerated (CHILD FRIENDLY) stories about his heroic achievements as a soldier before bed. It's genuinely super cute you guys
If the kid ever runs up to him in excitement when he arrives home in the evening he returns the energy and is like 'omg there they are! that's my kiddo! how have you been??' and picks them up and AUGH they're so cute
Just....🥺🥺
Jouno:
Your child is probably scared of him at first. Within their first meeting he probably makes them cry.
Sorry y'all 😭 but he doesn't exactly come off as much of a teddy bear...and nor does he really act like one with anyone else other than you in private
Jouno just isn't good with kids. Not in the sense that he's scared of them but that he doesn't really know how to interact with them without being intimidating or otherwise just detached
But he really loves you, and he wants to be a good parental figure to your kid, so he tries to warm them up to him by getting them a gift. That probably helps- he might not know much about kids but he's right to assume that they fucking love receiving gifts
Whatever your child's hobbies/interests are, Jouno genuinely does try to connect with them over it, and after a while it does work.
Soon enough your child and Jouno are inseparable and your child is spewing sadistic military rhetoric and oh dear god you've made a terrible mistake introducing the two of them
Yeah, Jouno probably teaches your kid all KINDS of horrible things. He will tell your child stories about times he's tortured suspects, or slaughtered gangs, and just stuff that is not family friendly. You have to nip that behaviour in the bud or else...
He's generally pretty good at taking care of your child, but like, if your kid cried because they were scared there was a monster under the bed, Jouno would probably be like "Yeah. There is. Good luck." and then turn off the lights and leave 💀
Just give him time. He'll learn how to be an emotionally available parent at SOME point
Tecchou:
He's not the step dad. He's the dad that stepped up
Tecchou is definitely very aloof and awkward around your child- like, he knows how to interact with you, but children are different. Children are frightening. And they are his biggest fear maybe
In spite of this, he is fiercely protective of your kid. He will make sure that child is as safe and calm as possible at all times, and he certainly prefers to show that he cares through actions rather than words.
He usually wouldn't initiate physical contact with your child but if they hugged him he would hug back, if they gave him a hi-five he would do it back, etc etc. he will never let your kid down
If your child likes make belief, you can bet you'd walk into a room and find your kid all dressed up, off their rocker in full theatre mode, while Tecchou is sitting on the floor, also dressed up, but looking more depressed than ever before
Save him from your baby. They are taking YEARS off his life
He probably accidentally sends your kid to hospital at some point because he cooked for them. Damnit Tecchou, how don't you realise that a child's stomach wouldn't be able to handle a combination of chocolate and beef
It's okay though, he does learn from this. Plus, he takes care of your child and buys them presents and hangs out with them until they're better <3
He might not join your child in the ball pit, but he would watch them swim around in there with the softest, faintest, most affectionate smile on his face. And that is all that matters folks
Teruko (platonic):
The funnest, meanest, coolest auntie ever
Teruko will lead your child down a dreadful path. Limit their visits to holidays and birthdays for your own sake and the sake of your young one
She's really more than happy to negatively influence look after your child if you need her to though, and they love her because she's super chill and lets them get away with all kinds of things (that aren't violent crimes against humanity)
Your parent says one cookie after dinner? Screw it, have six. I won't tell if you won't. - Teruko, probably
She uses her ability to entertain your kid sometimes- usually she'll decrease her age so she can join them in things like building pillow forts and playing on jungle gyms
I'm just picturing them playing at the park and some concerned parent coming up to them asking where their guardian is and Teruko just fucking transforms into a grown woman on the spot and goes 'WHO'S ASKING' 😭
Teruko is a super cool fun aunt. But she is very wise, and she really will give your kid good life advice on occasion.
She'll also cheer them up when they're feeling down, and if they're feeling scared she helps them step out of their comfort zones and confront their fears (in a safe way!!)
If your kid is like, getting picked on at school or something, Teruko will nag you to phone their school about it. If you don't, she does. If they don't do anything about it, she does. Bottom line is NOBODY fucks with your kid when Teruko is around
I guess technically she really is scary dog privilege lmao
Tachihara:
Help he's so nervous at first? Tachihara this is a child, not a wise sage- you can be normal around them
He just wants to make a good impression on the child okay he's doing his best
But (obviously) your kid immediately loves him, and thinks he's the coolest guy ever, and wants to hang out with him all the time
Tachihara has a bit of a concern that the kid will think that he's trying to replace their other parent, which is fair, but it's unfounded because your child absolutely adores him and does not care about that at all
If your child ever calls him 'Dad' watch his soul fucking transcend to a new plane, he's so surprised and honoured that this beautiful person's child would consider him their parent
Your kid has Tachihara wrapped around their tiny finger. He will oblige them with anything- if you've got a toddler who likes uppies and piggybacks, say your prayers for Tachihara's upper arm and back muscles because he will carry them for hours
You really need him to stop leaving weaponry around the house, though- the absolute HEART ATTACK you had when you saw your precious baby carrying around an unloaded pistol
Also, Tachihara, babe, STOP SWEARING SO MUCH AROUND THE BABY. I CAN'T HAVE MY KID SAYING 'FUCK' TO STRANGERS - you, probably
Doesn't really ever talk about his job(s) with your kid, all they know is that he 'kills bad guys', and they think that's cool as fuck
He's not perfect, sure. But he is trying so hard to be The Perfect Parent™ and, more importantly, he loves your child to bits
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taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen
of course, thank you to anon for this req!
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amongemeraldclouds · 1 month
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not being romantic
Jess Mariano may be cute, possibly charming, but he is most definitely annoying. He certainly can’t hold a candle to your secret pen pal who’s smart, loves books, and aspires to be an author. Or can he?
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Jess Mariano x f!Reader
Warning: no use of y/n, mostly fluff, some angst, cursing, suggestiveness. This fic is set after he left Stars Hollow.
✿ Masterlist | 3.3k words
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The cafe buzzed with the rush of customers lined up for their afternoon caffeine fix. Coffee machines droned on churning coffee as sunlight streamed through the windows and the smell of baked goods wafted through the air.
You smirked at Jess Mariano before you called the customer to hand them their drink. You proceeded to add another point to your scoreboard, waving your arm for emphasis. He rolled his eyes at your dramatics and hurried up, adding whipped cream to the drink he was preparing. 
Everything was always a game with him. Who could get the highest amount of tips? Who could guess the new customer's coffee order? Who could make the most convincing foreign accent?
Today’s game was: who could make the fastest coffee order?
“You’ve gotten better,” he observed as you grabbed a cup for the next customer. “Aren’t you glad to have had an incredible instructor like me?”
You scoffed, “more like an incredible loser if you don’t hurry up with that order. Just because you taught me, doesn’t mean I’d go easy on you, Mariano,” you taunt, narrowing your eyes for emphasis.
He shook his head with a smile, “I expected nothing less from you.” He made his way to the other end of the counter to call the customer and handed them their drink.  
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Another busy shift flew by and before you knew it, it was time to close down the cafe.
You grabbed the scoreboard, beaming with pride. “I won! You can now call me the Queen of Speed, Barista Extraordinaire. Bow down before your queen.”
Jess looked up from where he was wiping the counter with a flat expression. “I’ll call you the Queen of Clean if you help me with these last few tables?”
You frowned at him and stuck your tongue out, of course he had a whole arsenal of retorts with him at any given moment. You grabbed the towel and disinfectant spray from behind the counter and moved to wipe down the tables. “You’re no fun, but I’ll let it slide since you now owe me a favor.”
“As long as I don’t have to help you dispose of a body then it’s fine,” he replied, eyebrow raised. 
You rolled your eyes, “if I ever need to dispose a body, it would probably be yours.”
“Are you confessing to something you’ll commit? I don’t think that’s very wise.”
“I’m not planning anything,” you sighed, pinching your nose. The conversation was getting more and more off topic by the second. “You, however, will be the dea*h of me.”
“I’ll add you to the waitlist,” he nodded as he set aside the towel and grabbed the key, ready to close for the evening. Of course that wasn't the first time that line was directed at him.
“You’re just trying to avoid what you owe me. Stop deflecting, Mariano,” you accused, heading towards him to return the cleaning materials. “I need your help with my toaster, it stopped working and I can’t afford to get it fixed or replaced. Can you help me with that?”
“Of course, anything for the Queen of Speed,” he replied.
“You forgot Barista Extraordinaire,” you added helpfully.
Jess just shook his head as if to say, I can’t win with you. He fought the smile that threatened to break across his features. Perhaps you too had your own arsenal of comebacks.
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With the final turn of the key, the door swung in and you and Jess headed into your tiny apartment. It was a studio that’s three steps away from the kitchen, five steps away from the bathroom, and ten steps away from the bed. You liked to keep it simple, minimalistic. It definitely had nothing to do with the cheap rent.
“Welcome to my apartment. It’s not much but it’s home,” you said, gesturing around the place.
“It’s cozy and it’s very you,” he remarked.
You folded your arms and stared at him, “I can’t tell if that’s an insult or a compliment.”
“Let me see. Second hand furniture, potted plants around the area, and the artwork looks similar to your napkin doodles. Don’t think I didn’t notice them. It’s a mosaic of different things, but you managed to tie it all together and make it work. It’s just like you to make good out of a potentially bad situation,” he observed.
“Slow down there or you’ll end up hosting shows about house tours,” you teased. “And hey, I’ll take the compliment. Who knew Jess Mariano could be nice?”
He shrugged, “I just call it like I see it.”
You took the three steps necessary to reach the kitchen. “Here’s the troublemaker, by the way. Not you, well, aside from you,” you amended and pointed to the toaster. “Not sure what’s wrong, it just stopped working.”  
He approached you and it struck you just how small the kitchen was, certainly not big enough for two. When you turned to speak to him, all the words left your mind as you realized you’re only inches away from him. Heat crept up your cheeks and you blinked.
Jess smirked at your reaction, keenly aware of the effect he had to you. That cocky bastard. He leaned in a bit closer and your breath hitched. “You know, if you just wanted me over at your place, there’s a lot of other fun things I can help you with.” You scrunched your nose and took a step back, immediately transported to the area you considered your bedroom. “If that’s your way of confessing your feelings for me, it’s not very romantic at all. Thought you’d have more game than that, Mariano,” you hedged.
“Oh, that’s because I’m not trying to be romantic. If I were trying....” he said, taking a step forward, closing the distance you tried to place between you. He brushed the hair away from your cheek, the touch so unexpectedly tender coming from Jess. You took in how soft his lips looked up close.
When he touched the side of your face, your attention returned to his soulful eyes. “...I’d do something like this,” he concluded, his breath against your lips like the ghost of a kiss. That’s all it took for him to steal the breath from your lungs.
You’re disoriented when cool air greets you again as he took a step back and the only trace left is the fading warmth from where his hand caressed your cheek. “But like I said, I’m not trying to be romantic,” he shrugged.
You cleared your throat, brushing off the lingering heat of the interaction. You ignored the pang of disappointment that hit you. Besides, someone else already had your heart, this was nothing but a silly little crush. “Well can you please try to fix my toaster?” you asked, trying to stay on topic as always.
“Sure, I have tools at home. I can take it with me and bring it back when I’m done.”
You nodded, “okay thank you. Let me just grab a bag you can carry it in.”
He scanned the room while you opened the cabinet to grab a reusable bag.
“Why do you have lots of mail?” He asked, thumbing through the pile of opened envelopes on your kitchen counter.
You mulled over the question, unsure how much you wanted to share with Jess Mariano and risk a round of his teasing. Then again, you could handle Jess. “Well, there’s this guy I really like. We send each other letters. If you really want to know what romantic is, Mariano, it’s hand written letters. No one bothers to write them anymore. There’s something sweet and sincere about it.”
“Who’s the lucky guy?”
“I’m not really sure. I got his first letter from the bookstore I frequent, the employee handed it to me and I asked him to hand back my reply. We just kept going from there, I think the mystery just adds to the romance.”
Jess shot you a worried look. “You mean to say, you’re corresponding with a complete stranger? For all you know he’s hiding his identity because he’s a stalker or a serial killer.”
“Please, he is not. He is smart, funny, and he’s writing a book. I just don’t feel like he’s that type of person.”
“You’re going off this based on your feelings? I don’t think that’s wise or safe.”
“Jess, it’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about,” you replied, having had enough of him for the day. After handing him the bag with the broken toaster, you shoved him towards the door and out from your apartment, wishing him a good night.  
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“That was quick,” you said as you headed out of the cafe and walked towards Jess’ apartment to retrieve your now functional toaster.
Jess shrugged, “it was no big deal, just had a few loose screws to reattach. Speaking of loose screws, how about that imaginary boyfriend of yours? Finally decide to reveal himself?” 
You sighed, Jess had been on your case the whole week since you told him about your mysterious crush. Needless to say, you regretted telling him about it. “No, but he hasn’t written to me recently,” you pondered. “He must be busy writing his book.”
“Or planning your untimely demise,” he retorts.
“Jess, I swear,” you grit your teeth, “I’ll be planning your untimely demise if you don’t drop it. Why do you care so much? Are you jealous? Is that what this is about?”
“Well I’m trying to look out for a coworker, why does this have to be about me? But hey, I’ll drop it,” he relented. “Besides, I won today so you owe me a favor.”
You groaned, but don’t say anything further. He won fair and square, you were ready to accept your fate.
Jess continued, “My uncle sent some food last night and I have a lot more than I can finish myself. Help me with that before you leave with your toaster?”
“Jess Mariano,” you narrowed your eyes at him, “are you asking me out for dinner?”   
“No,” he quickly said and then caught himself. “We’re not going out, we’re dining in. Besides if I were being romantic, I might bring you flowers, pick you up, take you somewhere nice. So this,” he said, pointing between him and you, “is not me being romantic.”
“And there goes Mr. Defensive,” you smirked. Of course he was not being romantic, not to you. He had a hundred and one ways to tease and annoy you but never to charm you. Still, you couldn’t help the way it killed you just a little inside.
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“I swear if you tell me this is where the magic happens, I will smack your head,” you deadpan as Jess opened the door to his apartment.
“Why does that turn me on?” He teased. Your face twisted in confusion and disgust and Jess laughed triumphantly, having drawn out a reaction from you. You had no idea you were adorable, he thought.
“Just welcome to my home then,” he said. 
You stepped in, admiring his cozy space. You imagined a messy home with leftover containers and soda cans strewn about reeking of old laundry and faded furniture. You had little to no expectations at all.
Instead what greeted you was a small space, similar to yours. The bed was made, blanket tucked in neat corners and the furniture, while undoubtedly secondhand, was well maintained. If anything, the mismatched pillows against the pale blue sofa and the sanded down wooden table gave it personality. It smelled like subtle household cleaners and carried the scent that is so distinctly Jess, a mixture of soap and sweat, plus a hint of cologne he would never admit to wearing.
“It’s very you,” you remarked, “and I don’t mean that as a bad thing.”
He shrugged, handing you your toaster, “I’ll take it as a compliment.”
“Thanks again for the toaster. Now there’s only one troublemaker here in this room,” you quipped as you move towards his kitchen to help him set the dinner table.
“That’s definitely you,” he replied, handing you the plates and utensils while he moved to heat up the food from the fridge. “Hand me the glasses over there?” He asked, pointing to the drawers on the opposite end.
You nodded, setting down the plates on the table and headed towards the drawer. “Well, I’ll let it slide just this time because you’re feeding me and I can’t say no to free food. Thank you Jess,” you said, a small hint of affection blooming in your chest.
You opened the first drawer and found only papers. You were about to close it to check the next drawer when the familiar edge of stationery caught your eye. It was exactly the type of paper you smiled at for hours on end, trying to memorize each word. Curiosity got the better of you and you lifted a half written letter to your eyes. A half written letter addressed to you.
A storm of emotions struck you then: confusion, hurt, and anger. All this time. The boy who weaseled his way into your heart, who called you cute in his first letter and wanted to get to know you. Who charmed you into the romantic idea of secret identities like spies undercover. Who shared your love for books and had the best recommendations that made you feel seen like no one ever has. Who spoke about his love for writing with a passion that inspired you. 
All this time it was Jess Mariano.
All this time it was a lie.
Just another one of his games.
“What about those gla—” he stopped mid-sentence when he turned back and saw you reading his letter.
“Fuck,” he exhaled softly as heat crept into his cheeks.
You looked at him, fire burning in your eyes. “Is that all you have to say, Mr. Fantastic Writer?” You huffed, trying to quell the tears that threatened to choke you. 
Jess opened his mouth and closed it, wanting to say a million words and failing. You watched the war raging in his head.
“Well then indeed, fuck!” You exclaimed in frustration. “And fuck you too. I know you love your games Jess, but you can’t just go around playing with other people’s feelings.”
You retreat and grabbed your things, shaking your head. “God, I feel like such a fool.”
You threw the door behind you and was a few steps away when you realized you left your toaster. Shame and betrayal marched with you as you opened his door again and found him still frozen where you left him.
“I’m just here for my toaster, which I actually need. Unlike you, I don’t need anything from you, Jess. I’ve read and heard enough,” you said, your voice wavered at the end and tears spilled down your cheeks.
You turned away from embarrassment, toaster in hand, and ran the rest of the way home. He didn’t deserve to hear your sobbing. He didn’t even deserve any of your tears. He was just a stupid boy that your stupid heart fell for. No big deal.
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The next week passed in a blur. Unable to switch shifts with anyone else, you called in sick at the cafe and lived life between your university, the library, and your apartment. Never mind that you needed the pay, you could drown in instant noodles for all you cared. It didn’t matter anyway. A broken heart never cared for a full stomach.
That Friday, you were about to call it a night when the doorbell rang. The was odd, you thought, you weren’t expecting anyone. 
“You’ve got the wrong—” you stopped mid-sentence when you saw the last person you ever wanted to see, Jess Mariano holding a bouquet of flowers and books. If it were any other day, it might have sent butterflies to your stomach. Now all it did was fan the flames of your anger because it was much easier to be angry than hurt.
You slammed the door close but Jess stopped it with his outstretched arm. “Are you trying to get yourself injured?” You accused and you hated it, how much you still cared.
“Please, I just need to talk,” he said, pain and sincerity etched in his handsome face.
You sighed and let him in, not wanting to cause a scene at the hallway. “You have five minutes,” you held up your hand for emphasis.
“Fine, five minutes,” he breathed, steeling himself. "Here’s a story for you: I met this girl working at a cafe. She’s smart and quick witted, she never runs out of comebacks. Her smile makes my day and I needed to see more of it so I came up with these games. And damn it, I looked forward to going to work every day because of her.
There was a nagging at the back of my mind to get to know her better. I wanted her to get to know me too, but I have a track record of screwing things up so I sent a letter. Just one couldn’t hurt, right?
Clearly, I underestimated her. One letter was never going to be enough. I loved hearing about her dreams, her stories, the inside jokes we created along the way. Without meaning to, I fell for her. I fell for you. It was never a game for me, all of it was real. Is still real.
When I heard you liked your secret pen pal too, I didn’t know if I should reveal myself or just disappear, let you forget me. Of course, I screwed things up again. I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you but clearly I have. Would you give me a second chance? I’m not good at this but I want to try."
He’s breathless by the time he ends his speech and you take a moment as the words settled in. No wonder he discouraged your interest in your secret pen pal, which also turned out to be him.
You sighed, “you really screwed it up.” Your heart broke all over again only to come back whole together because he did like you. All those silly gestures he brushed off really did mean something. And the boy you loved through letters and your cafe crush turned out to be the same person.
You pondered his question. The way he went about it was all wrong, but a second chance might be worth a shot. “Fine, we can start over, but you’ll have to make it up to me. You owe me unlimited favors.”
“I'll fix all the toasters you need,” he said, presenting you with the bouquet of flowers and books.
“Oh you’ll have to do more than that. I have a broken bulb on the ceiling, the heater needs fixing, and the microwave will definitely break tomorrow,” you taunted him, accepting his bouquet nevertheless.
He just smiled, “I have a lot to make up for, but I’ll do it for you.” He moved closer to you, bringing the bouquet to rest on the kitchen counter, so he can wrap his arms around you. “You’re worth it,” he whispered in your ear and you hugged him back, fighting off the delicious chill that ran through your back from his words. Being in his arms felt so right.
“You like me,” you sing, teasing him like a child and you enjoy the way his chest rumbles against you as he laughs.
“Don’t let it get to your head,” he said, kissing your cheek. “Besides, you like me back.”
You removed yourself from his hug, already missing his warm embrace. “I never said I liked you,” you teased. 
Mock hurt danced across his features, “what’s not to like?”
You laughed at his arrogance, the need to touch him overwhelming everything else. “Fine,” you relented, “we can call it even.”
You closed the distance this time, “just to be clear, this is you being romantic?”
He smirked, wrapping his arms around your waist again. “Yes, this is me being romantic and I will show you so much more,” he said, bringing his lips to yours with a thousand unsaid promises you were about to discover.
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✿ Masterlist
Author's note:
✿ When I came across a Jess Mariano fic, I just knew I had to write one too. Jess and his sarcastic ass in a (sort of) rivals to lovers trope, heck yes. ✿ Thanks to my lovely wife @pizzaapeteer for encouraging me to write this all those weeks ago ♡ ✿ Published this fic from a cafe, very on brand for the story.
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lovelybrooke · 4 months
Note
I’m glad you liked my idea! But I also was thinking a little.
So some other stuff I thought of is how Vox interacts with the reader, btw I know Vox can’t because the reader is with Alastor but I mean parasocially, like he’ll have pics and recording of them doing the most mundane stuff on his computer and would maybe rewatch some of the more interesting ones. And because I’m so sure the relationship the reader has with Vox is parasocial I can’t help but compare Vox to a fanboy, not that it matches his personality, but imagine Vox somehow manages to encounter the reader, accidentally or not, he might be so used to seeing how the reader acts alone, that he’ll be utterly confused when they’re back to being quiet and anxious, he either forgot or was hoping they’d be like how they are on screen, and it’s akin to fans in real life, only really knowing someone on camera and when they meet in real life they don’t know how to act appropriately. Not to say that Vox would be comfortable enough to hold onto the reader when they encounter each other, its just he’d act like he’s known them, converse with them like he’s pals, because to Vox he is a pal, he knows a lot about the reader, but of course the reader doesn’t even know him, and is probably scared that this stranger is approaching and speaking to them like they’re old pals.
Now this might be a little out of character, not the parasocial part but I think he’s clever enough to remember that this is one sided, but still can’t stop thinking about how disappointed he’d be when the only chance he gets with the reader, the reader is anxious and quiet.
Just warning you Hazbin is all I’ve been thinking about so I might just send all of these thoughts I get or scenarios I’ve made up and will send them to you. Of course you’re free to tell me to stop if it gets annoying, I don’t mind at all :).
I really love your stuff, please keep sending them in!!
I do see Vox having some internal parasocial relationship with the reader, just kinda disillusioning himself into believing that reader and him have some deep personal relationship with the reader simply because they look at their phone a little bit longer than normal. He revels in these moments because he really does believe that you and him at least could have a great relationship, at least if given the chance.
If you ever did get the opportunity to meet Vox, I could see him overwhelming reader, he's waited for that moment for so long, and now it's finally happening. He tries to say everything he's wanted to say for so long, but you just look...scared.
It almost disappointing to him, he had this idea that you'd be so excited to meet him, you had to be, it's better than being with anyone at that Hotel. But the look on your face, it's the same one you have when you're with Alastor, nervous, skittish, afraid. It ruins him a bit.
But he doesn't stick on it for long, instead he's quick to figuring out a way to build up some trust with you. He'll make you like him, he's sure of it. That way he can hold it over Alastor's head when you two eventually become best friends.
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liesmyth · 1 year
Text
locked tomb characters ranked by how cringe they are
because this post by @wifegideonnav reminded me that they’re all losers, but some are even more losers than the others
Hot Sauce: 1/10. This girl is cool in all possible ways and definitely future lead researcher material. No cringe, zero notes.
Pyrrha: 2/10. By far the least cringe of The Olds. Yes her nicknames for Nona have dad joke energy but she’s very earnest about it and it’s cute.
Juno Zeta: 2/10. Total MILF. Very smart and should know better than to get flirty with We Suffer, but I get it.
Marta Dyas: 3/10. A complete badass with a very sensible outlook on avoiding unnecessary forms. Call me Judith because I would also make a pass at her at the first possible chance.
Commander Wake: 3/10. She made Pyrrha fall in love with her, seduced ever-loyal G1deon into hatefucking and galvanized a dying resistance movement. She was genuinely nice to Gideon those 3 seconds they interacted in passing! Then she had to go and hide under the bed of a mentally ill teenager.
Dulcinea: 4/10. Her horniness for revenge is epic. Let down Pal as nicely as she could and managed to outwit Cytherea when it mattered. Not cringe at all.
Camilla: 4/10. Yes, she could kill you in seconds but she did once sell cigarettes, her most liquid asset, for about a third of their market value.
Alecto: 4/10. Scary eldritch woman-shaped creature with a sword, comes highly recommended by Pyrrha Dve. Loses points for confusing Middle English and thinking John was the best possible Sailor Earth when he was clearly the worst.
G1deon: 5/10. Utterly willing to burn for what he believes in. Yes, he probably needs some perspective but he made sure the baby had enough air before kicking Wake out of the airlock and Matthias Nonius thinks he’s an okay dude.
Pash: 5/10. She has that freedom fighter swag and the cool hair but she is a terrible bodyguard coasting on nepotism, sorry to say.
Palamedes: 6/10. He didn’t clock the serial killer pretending to be his ex because he was too busy going to painfully extreme lengths to avoid interacting with her.
Naberius: 6/10. My controversial opinion is that Babs is the least cringe of the Third House throuple. Yes he looks and acts like a peacock but he puts up with Corona snacking on him for no reason and is still nice to her, and gives Ianthe solid romantic advice.  
Nona: 6/10. Cringe in the unselfconscious way of a young teenager, and put this ability to use making Pal fess up to his nurse kink. She will never be cool but it’s part of her appeal.
Mercymorn: 7/10. Speaks in onomatopoeias. She knows she is insufferable so she’s gonna do her best to make sure to be the most insufferable person in every room. Once called John Gaius “the best man I who ever lived” to his smug face and not even blowing him up later makes up for that.
Ianthe: 7/10. Looks like a wet rat. Hopelessly dramatic but she pulls it off. Declares her love for Harrow at every turn in the most transparent possible way then pretends she’s just being snarky. Some cool points for actually getting shit done
Coronabeth: 7/10. Terrible taste in love interests. Her freedom fighter era was hot but she thinks pompadour hair is a good look? Also, the way she spent her whole life lying about necromancy speaks of extreme conflict avoidance. Cringe move.
Judith: 7/10. She deserved to suffer and has suffered more than she deserves. It’s cringe how she clings to her imperialist brainwashing but she gets a point for rightfully understanding she should be wary of Corona, something Ianthe still can’t even grasp.
Ortus: 7/10. Yes he quotes his own epic poetry WIP at people but he also had to grow up on the Ninth with nothing better to do. Genuinely a very nice guy.
Cytherea: 8/10. Her unhinged vibes are very hot but she killed a couple of nerds and two teenagers instead of anyone who was actually dangerous. Cringe of her!
Silas: 8/10. Smarmy cloud-looking motherfucker. He is a child Pope and I guess he can’t help the inherent cringe of the Eight. But that’s still no excuse for bringing a portrait of John all the way to Canaan House just to hang it in your bedroom, dude.
Gideon: 8/10. Babygirl is a horny virgin with the vocabulary of a nerd. Harrow is bones over tit in love with her and she fails to notice after living in Harrow’s brain for eight months. Gets points for managing to maintain impressive biceps on a diet with no protein.
Augustine: 9/10. Extremely cringe because of how hard he tries to pretend he’s not cringe. Cigarettes on a space station and effectively performing swag don’t make up for how much he clearly wants to suck John’s dick. Which he did at least twice.
Harrow: 10/10. Spent most of her life being mean to Gideon because she was too hot to deal with and lobotomized a coffee shop AU into existence. Thinks Ianthe Tridentarius is beautiful. Once built a bone cocoon to sleep in after not drinking water for two days. Should’ve told God months ago that she just didn’t want to eat his fucking biscuits and stop offering.
John: 10/10. Unfortunately, this scale only goes up to 10 but we all know it’s not enough. Deeply cringe in a myriad of ways, chiefly among them the way he inflicts his barely veiled incest kink on all his friends. That one dad joke was gold, though.
This was getting too long but for the record: Aiglamene is cool and so is Abigail Pent. Magnus is not cool but he’s a fun time. The Terrible Teens are exempt from judgement on account of being 14.
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meatonfork · 1 year
Note
grim uses crayola markers and highlighters to color in ghosts tattoos
Artist
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pairing: p!ghost x grim
warnings: none i believe
summary: grim loves coloring in ghosts tattoos
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it’s often that boredom consumes you. it hugs you tightly, and forces your mind to run free. in these times of boredom, you read or maybe write a dumb little poem about a bear.
it reads as so:
Little Bear
He’s somewhere out there,
The little bear.
He plays in the water,
And eats honey-
With a little bunny.
that being said, you were bored.
sighing, you stood from your uncomfortable plastic desk chair, and threw your door open.
“c’mon spoon! we have someone to bother.”
sock clad feet pulled little thumps on the hallway floor as you fidgeted with the highlighter lids that were stuffed in your pockets. spoon’s little paws padded down the hall right behind you.
subconsciously, you had a destination in mind. yellow light from the hallway poured down on your small frame, casting dark shadows on the walls as you made your way to your unsuspecting victim.
typically, if boredom struck you this late, you’d find yourself in price’s office. being thrown to the deep end of sleep from him droning on about whatever he was working on. he’d wake you a while later when he picks you up, and makes his way to your room.
tonight, you’d thought you’d give him a break. you knew gaz was passed out. he never stayed up too late, and soap was probably already bothering someone else.
ghost it was.
you stopped in front of his wooden door, hand submerged in your hoodie’s sleeve, and knocked on his door.
it took a second, but his masked face soon appeared in the doorway.
“yes, grim?”
“i’m bored.” you looked up at him from hooded eyes, a grin flooding your features.
in this light, ghost thought you looked at peace. the light shone perfectly on your eyes, the green looking brighter than usual. something only the sun could pull out of you, he’d come to notice over the years. he noted your hair was kind of messy, as if you’d run your fingers through it- curls pulling apart and becoming poofy.
“and i’m supposed to help with that, because why?” his tone was bored, but really he just wanted to see how far he could take it.
“well, i don’t really want to bother price right now- i’ve been doing that too much lately and i don’t really think i can listen to another report about god knows what right now. gaz is passed out in the commons watching some nature documentary? and, i have no idea where soap is. so, you!” you bounced on your heels lightly, spoon poking her head from behind your leg.
ghost stood still, as if weighing his options. he knew he’d say yes. no one can say no to you, but he liked fucking with you.
“alright, c’mon.” he sighed as he moved the door open and stepped out of your way.
“yes! let’s go little one.” you picked up spoon, and sat her on your shoulder as you made your way into ghost’s room.
it was dark save for a desk lamp being on, letting a yellow glow settle on the room.
“i have an idea- if you don’t mind, that is.” you sputtered as you sat on your pal’s bed.
“and that would be?”
“… can i color your tattoos?” your hair flitted in front of your face, eyes peeking from between curly strands.
“i- what.” his eyes widened a bit.
“never mind! let’s just watch a movie or something.” you smiled up at him.
he slowly moved to sit beside you on the bed, “you can color them if you’d like. i’ll put something on the tv.”
“okay!” you waited while he put something on, and scooted back to rest against the headboard.
once he was settled, you gently grabbed his left arm, holding it at the elbow and wrist. your hands softly tugged his sleeve up, just passed the edge of the tattoo. you brought his arm to settle on your lap, hunched over.
ghost peeked down to see his arm in your lap. he hadn’t been touched this delicately in so long. he found himself yearning for your soft touch once you’d let go to grab the markers from your pocket.
spoon still sat on your shoulder, like a little parrot watching over what you were doing.
“ghost?” your soft voice spoke over the background noise of the tv.
“what’s up?”
“can you grab spoon off my shoulder? i don’t want her to fall off.”
he reached over and grabbed the kitten, settling her into his lap as she purred loudly. his fingers delicately ran over her head as she settled.
you took the chance to grab a marker and start your graffiti on your lieutenant’s arm. the cold from the top of the marker made ghost’s arm tense, but soon he relaxed. your touch soothing the goosebumps that formed on his skin.
ghost sat and watched as your tongue poked out of the corner of your mouth in concentration. his once black and white tattoos soon were covered in pastel markings.
he’d peek down every once in a while to see how far you’d come. never making comment unless you asked him which color he thought you should use. he’d answer back in an almost whisper, not wanting to break the peaceful silence that had settled over you three.
sometimes, you would pause your task and watch the show when something caught your eye. your hand still on his forearm, marker clutched in the other.
as time passed, you subconsciously leaned into him more, using his shoulder as support as you gripped his arm and continued to color. the sheets below you ruffled with your movements to become more comfortable over time.
flipping his arm, you continued as he pet the purring bundle of fur in his lap.
small talk of the show playing drifted through the room. you often asking questions about what was happening, or asking him to explain something you didn’t quite understand. he never complained, he liked when you asked him questions. whether it was during something as domestic as this, or what you should do when you get pinned during a mission.
“okay. i think i’m done.” you lifted your head from his shoulder, legs pulled against him as you leaned on him.
his eyes snap down to his arm in your hands.
bright colors donned his arm, and he preferred it that way. because it was done by you. little grim.
“looks good, grim.” his eyes crinkled a bit.
“really?”
“oh, yeah. love it, kid.” his voice was soft.
“thanks!” you beamed up at him.
“do you want to hear the poem i wrote earlier while i was bored?”
a huff of air left his nose, arm still in your soft grip, “hit me with it.”
“it’s called ‘Little Bear’. it goes, ‘He’s somewhere out there, The little bear. He plays in the water, And eats honey- With a little bunny.’” your voice was soft as you recited your dumb little poem back to him.
“are you the little bear, or the bunny? because, i think you’re the little bear and everyone else is the bunny.”
“i never really thought about it. although, i guess me being the little bear makes a bit of sense.” you shrugged as you played with his fingers.
“little grim, the little bear.”
a giggle bubbles from your lips as you rested against him once more.
“ghost?”
“simon, kid. my name’s simon.” he cleared his throat, peering down at you from the corner of his eye.
your head snapped to meet his eyes, “simon?”
“hmm?”
“well i forgot what i was going to say, now. but i think simon suits you quite well, hmm?” simon noted a slight sparkle pass over your eyes as you looked at him.
“well, i would hope so. ‘s my name, innit?” he joked.
“yeah. don’t you dare think you’re getting my name out of me now.” you lightly shoved his shoulder with your own.
“never, kid.” he lightly chuckled.
“good, you’re not getting it.”
“didn’t think so.”
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a/n: thank you for reading!! that poem is a real one i wrote like two nights ago while i was stoned and bored 😭
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powderblueblood · 6 months
Text
HELLFIRE & ICE — eddie munson x f!oc as enemies to star-crossed lovers
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CHAPTER FOUR — HOT SKIN and a HALL PASS
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summary: rules, you've recently learned, are for breaking– sanity is also, apparently, relative. after making a statement in the cafeteria, you play hooky with eddie in main street vinyl. content warnings: MINORS DNI tension you would need a chainsaw to cut through, farm-to-table snarking, do they even know they're yearning, nancy wheeler i'm sorry i shittalked you again (it will get better i swear) word count: 4k
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Dear reader, do you ever feel like you’re completely losing your grasp on reality? 
You’ve cruised through life almost seamlessly up to this point. Yours is a well-oiled machine, one you painstakingly built yourself. But do you ever feel like you’ve spent so much time constructing something so carefully that it doesn’t make sense to you anymore? 
Like you can’t see the forest for the trees, or the treason for the thrill. 
Do you ever want to light your whole life up in flames, just to see what’s really fireproof?
“So, which is it?” 
You’re standing at your locker, making a bad job of touching up your now-flaking under-eye concealer when a voice rings out from the other end of the hall. It bounces off the cool metal of the lockers, the tack of the linoleum. It makes your shoulderblades go tense. 
“Has little Lacy been hiding a pair of brass balls this whole time, or is she on a suicide mission?”
You’d roll your eyes, but your face is aching. 
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“Showing up with me this morning would have been one thing, but sitting yourself at my little table of outcasts? At lunch? The most important social event of the day?” 
Munson lets out a low whistle from where he leans, a couple of lockers up from yours. 
The hallway is deserted save for the both of you; you, out on a forged hall pass and him, probably just ditching to ditch. You peer at him from behind your locker door. He’s standing slanted in a long, lithe line made bold and jangly by his carefully curated metalhead armor. 
You, and this comes with a hefty dose of begrudgery, have to hand it to him– he leans great. 
“Talk about blowing up your reputation beyond repair.” 
You know he’s making fun of you– he’s not exactly subtle about it, nor is he about anything. It’s all in the lilt of his tone, how ridiculous he thinks the interwoven politics of the cafeteria are, how dumb he thinks you are for considering that in the least bit important. 
Munson’s idea of survival in high school is attacking conformity with a nuclear bomb, whereas yours is a little more artful. 
“I know this might be hard for you to comprehend, Munson,” you sigh, and the sound rattles through your ribcage– you are tired, tired of him, “given that your understanding of object permanence has clearly been stunted at an infantile level, but the world does not revolve around you."
"No?!" he croons, sarcasm slicking out of him.
"I was catching up with Ronnie.”
“Right, because you guys have been such good gal pals up to this point,” Munson scoffs. 
His face, framed by those wild waves, materializes in the reflection of your locker’s mirror, peering over your shoulder. You slam the door and pivot to face him properly, impact ringing out like a gunshot. 
He does a little jump, a shadow of his shock at you on Harrington’s porch. 
That reaction is like a shot of espresso straight to the veins.
Good. Be afraid. Asshole.
You're sure as fuck awake now!
“Lab partner love never dies,” you say, leveling his stare. “You’d know that if you showed up for Biology once in a while.” 
“Maybe I need a tutor. I could use someone to help me brush up on anatomy.” 
“Sorry. I don’t teach remedial.” 
“Maybe you should start. Rehabilitate your image.” 
“Again, who died and made you my parole officer?”
His expression cracks; a gasp of a laugh. “Oh, so you remember all that?”
“My hippocampus is alive and kicking.”
“Your hip– what?”
Your lips purse, and just as you’re about to throw another verbal dart at him, the voice of Ms O’Donnell cuts through the both of you. 
“I hope you two have a damn good excuse for loitering in this hallway– because if not, Mr Munson, I believe you’re less than one detention away from suspension.” 
Munson’s got this terminal disease where he’s more smarm than charm, despite his warped perception of himself. There’s no way he’s going to handle this with the grace that’s necessary, because O’Donnell hates him anyway. 
He keens his head in the teacher’s direction, ready to roll out some useless excuse. 
Before he’s even got the chance to speak, you cut him off. 
“Hall pass, Ms O’Donnell.” You flash the fake yellow slip at her, careful to obscure the names– you’ve usually got one of these forgeries to hand, just in case you need it, and teachers generally trust you enough not to check them out. It comes with the whole work-life balance you’ve been treading for the entirety of your high school career; you’re well-liked and you’re maintaining an impressive grade point average. They don’t give a shit what you do other than that. 
“The Weekly Streak has run into a printer snag and Nancy Wheeler’s car is on the fritz. Eddie,” his first name, which you never ever use, feels weird and heavy on your tongue, “offered me a ride to the printers to make sure it gets worked out– it’s a big issue. What with the game this weekend and everything.” 
O’Donnell’s eyes narrow. You nudge Munson right in his funny bone– hard enough for him to wince. 
“Right?”
“Right! That big game. Front page news, Ms O’D. Gooooo Tigers.”
The teacher clicks her tongue against her teeth, her rock hard stare challenging the delinquent beside you– it’s entirely likely that Munson could have blown it for himself just by virtue of being alive and in O’Donnells sight line, but you know she’s got no reason not to believe you. 
See, your reputation at the school newspaper precedes you; it’s just about the only thing that really holds your interest within the monotonous structure of Hawkins High. With your finger on the pulse of Hawkins’ student body, it only makes sense that you serve as a fierce and unforgiving editor of the Streak’s society pages– funnily enough, that hardline professionalism included never giving Munson’s infamously lame Dungeons and Dragons club a single mention in them. 
Vetoed, you’d drawled at one of the more well-mannered members that had shyly approached you about writing a piece. Not Ronnie– she knew better than that.
How come? they’d whined, as their fearsome leader glowered near the lockers just like he was doing now. 
On grounds of irrelevance. I’m not wasting valuable inches on a make believe board game club. 
This activated Munson. Lacy, you wouldn’t know valuable inches if they rammed you in the–
“Make it fast,” O’Donnell decrees, and you feel her watch you as you take off down the hallway. With a snappy quirk of your painted fingers, you gesture for Munson to follow your lead. And you better believe he does, almost tripping over his ratty Reeboks trying to keep in step with you. 
You both heave open the double doors, squinting against the unseasonable late autumn sunshine. Heels of your ankle boots clicking against the concrete, you make an unconscious beeline for the parking lot– for Munson’s van. 
“So– what now?” he asks, dur-dur dumb as all hell. 
“What now is I just got you a free pass to play hooky,” you say, little miss cactus flower, prickly with annoyance. You shield your eyes against the blazing light. “Weren’t you ditching anyway?”
“Yeeaaah,” Munson hums, scratching the back of his head, “But… the plan kind of was to smoke a joint and go to the record store.” 
“Doesn’t sound like a complete waste of time,” you hear yourself saying before you realize it, yanking at the van’s passenger door. You pause, raising an expectant eyebrow at Munson. Isn’t this your cue? 
Baffled, bewildered, but grinning despite himself, he extends that silver ringed hand and helps you haul your ass into his beat up chariot. 
Completely losing your grip on reality.
It’s a fugue state. It’s an out of body experience– you’re watching yourself from outside your corporeal form and you have no logical control over what you’re doing. 
That’s the only way to explain why you’re standing in Main Street Vinyl, elbow to elbow with Eddie Munson. 
But that might also be the weed talking. 
You don’t know where the hell he gets this stuff, but it’s strong– way stronger than the shit he’s sold to your friends ever since he started dealing. Well, you guess it makes sense that he’d keep the good shit for himself. You’d do that too, if you were him. 
What if I was him, you idly wonder, peering up at him as he flicks through letters R through T in the metal section. His tongue peeks out of his mouth as his ringed fingers work though the vinyl, carefully considering each one. 
This is what you mean by obvious– you, for one, would have the good conscience not to look so stoned while you’re so stoned. 
You definitely don’t look stoned right now. 
No one can even tell that you’re looking at him, up from underneath those thick lashes of yours. 
He’s got thick lashes too, come to think of it. 
Munson is actually not completely unfortunate looking– but again, if you were him, there’s no way you’d wear your hair like that. You’d keep it long-ish, though, you think. He’s got a point there; a nice curl pattern. Maybe to your ears. And the clothes obviously have to go– that denim vest is a patchwork disaster. Did he sew all those patches on himself? 
A vision of him hunched over the thing with a needle and thread in hand flits through your brain, pricking himself more than he can pick up a stitch. He’s gone out of his way to make himself look like this– kind of similar to the way you pick up your skirts so they’re always impeccably just short enough. 
Now, the leather jacket you could forgive if at least the collar was different. Maybe one of those Brando-style biker jackets, you could rock that. Or a brown leather number, to bring out your eyes– which are his eyes, of course, his crazy dark empty universes of eyes. 
The kind of eyes with the kind of stare that nails you in place and makes you want to do crazy shit like ditch class and get loaded and stand dumbly in a record store. Those eyes.
That are staring at you. He’s staring at you. Right back at you. 
“I can read your mind,” Munson monotones, unblinking. 
You go flush, heat crawling all the way up to your ears. “Wh–what?”
Then he nudges you and snorts, breaking the spell. 
“You have gotta stop thinking such dirty thoughts about me, ice princess. You’re gonna melt.” 
You scoff, shaking your head– but the cartoonish move is more to ground you in reality than a reaction to him and his idiocy. You’re Wile E Coyote after blunt force impact with an Acme anvil, shaking the circling birds away. 
“They don’t even have what I’m looking for here.” 
Stalking around the stacks of records, with no clear direction in mind, you feel Munson’s laser stare follow you. “Yeah, they don’t usually file Madonna next to Motörhead, Lacy.” 
They’re both filed under M, aren’t they? is what you want to say. “I don’t listen to Madonna,” you protest instead, all quietly miffed and earnest with a crinkle in your brow. 
“Mm, don’t think that’s true,” Munson smirks, rounding on you around the rack. “You gave me a pretty spot on rendition of Like a Virgin– or does your hippocrampus not recall?”
“Hippocampus,” you breathe out, but it’s lost in the din of Main Street Vinyl’s quiet, carpeted atmosphere, “I don’t listen to her, like, recreationally. I can’t help if that song’s an earworm.” A beat. “I also can’t help if you’re a particularly serenadable virgin.” 
“She’s gonna touch me for the very first tii-iime…”
“That was a threat.” 
You make an active attempt toward tunnel vision as you slowly tread through the store, feeling the high starting to turn on you– this was the part smoking weed that you hated, the few times that you’d imbibed in it. That lack of control over the way you were coming across. For a girl trained in the art of saying all the right things, this was dangerous. Your tongue felt both loose and heavy in your mouth, like it could come out with anything and you couldn’t stop it, it’d just roll on out. 
The malevolent presence of Munson and your pathological need to one up him wasn’t helping matters. 
Ever since the parking lot at school, you’ve been stalking around like there’s a target on your back. Evidently, you’re not the kind of girl that chills out when you smoke, which is equal parts a relief and a disappointment to Eddie. He wonders what you’d look like, mellowed out and floating. Your eyebrow unarched and your lips not poised for attack.
He’s also acutely aware that he wouldn’t know what the hell to do with you then, either. 
But he can’t tear his eyes away from you, a hyperfocus that he’s assuming is a symptom of his own buzz. Every little twitch and jump you do– it’s like it’s begging him to pay attention. Like if he looks away for even a second, he might miss something. 
“What are you looking for?” he asks, eyes trained on you while you thumb through the records. 
As much as you love music, and you do, you have a tough time describing exactly what you want to listen to. The notes in the songs that you revisit again and again read more like physical feelings, sparking off in your nerve endings. For example, listening to River by Joni Mitchell feels like something heavy is sitting on your chest. Listening to Hong Kong Garden by Siouxsie and the Banshees feels like you have fairy lights at the end of your fingertips. 
“I want something that sounds…” you say, noticing the distinct feeling of cottonmouth setting in, “Ticklish.”
“Ticklish,” Munson deadpans back at you. 
“Something that sounds like someone’s running a xylophone mallet down my spine.” 
He regards you for what feels like an excruciatingly long timewith this terrible, awful look on his face– brows ticked up over his glassy bloodshot eyes, pink mouth peeling into a grin, and this look, this look of wonderment. Like he can’t believe you’re real, and you’re here, and you’re saying shit like this to him. 
Join the club. 
“... You don’t get stoned a lot, do you?”
“Ugh!” you groan, a little louder than you mean to– the cashier shoots you a glare as you stalk past Munson, stalk past him, cheeks flaring pink. “I know what I’m talking about. I know it when I hear it– I heard a record just like that earlier this year! It’s like, some band from Scotland or something? Totally incomprehensible lyrics, yeah, but that’s what it felt like. It was like… bone deep.”
You hear Munson emit the teeniest hehe! and you just about snarl at him over your shoulder.
Rounding on the alternative section, limited as it is, you feel a welcome sense of familiarity. You haunt this corner when you can, when you’re out of sight from prying eyes. There’s only one other regular purveyor of this little corner of Main Street Vinyl that you know of. You trace a thumb over the spines of the cassette cases–it’s mostly tapes, rarely ever records because tapes are easier to import and harder to damage, and it’s always haphazardly organized–and then you spot it. 
Victoriously, you thrust it in Munson’s face, which is right over your shoulder. He’s frequenting that spot a lot recently. “Ha!”
“Oh!” he chirps, sounding almost pleasantly surprised and plucks the tape from your fingers. “... Cocteau Twins?”
You falter, eyelashes flickering as you look up at him. Dammit. He even pronounced it right. 
“You know them?” You hate how high your voice sounds.
He runs a thumb over the plastic casing, edging a little closer to you. That came outta left field. 
“This shit… sounds like what a haunted music box would sound like.” 
Aaand we’re back in the room.
“Okay…?”
“This is creepy, cursed doll music.” 
And the room is filled with assholes.
“Alright.”
“This is what you hear right before you’re about to get possessed by the ghost of Tiny Tim. The whiniest little bitch ghost of all time.” 
And all the assholes are named Eddie Munson. 
“I get it.”
“You better be careful with this stuff, Lacy-Wacy,” he teases, mocking that fraudulent concern ripped straight from an episode of Donahue. He taps the cassette case against your forehead. “Music like this is a gateway drug. A gateway drug to hanging out with, like, Jonathan Byers.”
You reach out and grab his wrist, tugging his hand and that damn tape away from your face. You’re shocked to find that the skin under your fingers is blazing hot–same as you felt through his shirt when he helped you to the door in your drunken stupor. 
Does he always run this warm? you wonder. Is it all that Satanic poseur poison coursing through his stupid veins?
“Well, it’s a little late for that,” you tell him, and you’re not quite sure why. Probably because every secret you swore would die with you is slowly but surely punching its gnarly hand from the grave, like fucking Carrie from fucking Carrie.
Munson doesn’t even express any overt shock, like he’s learning to roll with the punches of you revealing bits and pieces of yourself through sheer annoyance with him. He just cocks his head, challenging you with a silent, Really?
This chick. This blink-and-you’ll-miss-it chick.
“I ran into him in this corner a lot,” you explain breezily, tilting a shoulder up like it doesn’t bother you, like it’s never bothered you. “We’d always be standing next to each other at the listening booths, and I’d be listening to stuff I couldn’t take home and he’d be listening to stuff he couldn’t afford to buy and… We like a lot of the same music. We went out on like, one date if you could even call it that, and it didn’t work out.”
“Because he’s a creepazoid?”
“Because he was hip deep in it for Nancy Wheeler,” you supply, a green monster gurgling in the pit of your stomach. “Like every other respectable member of the male species.” 
It was the summer before junior year, a punishingly hot one even by Hawkins standards. You’ve never been good in the heat and that summer made your entire body feel ill-equipped, your skin ill-fitting. Main Street Vinyl had those big, big box fans right near the cash desk which was right near the listening booths, so you would spend the majority of your time there when you weren’t being forced to the lake or Skull Rock with your friends. 
Jonathan would look at you with alarm at first, like you were trespassing. Then he’d spy what you were listening to and sneak these small, shy smiles at you that you indulged in– at first, because you weren’t copping a lot of male attention from anyone else that summer. Eventually, it was because his shadowy eyes were always ringed with this tenderness, with knowing. Like you two were sharing a secret. It made you be able to look past the greasy hair and crippling social awkwardness. 
You know you rocked his world the day you breezed past him at the listening booth, leaned in and whispered, I love Linda Thompson's voice, don't you?
But still, the Love’s Baby Soft scented specter of Nancy Wheeler loomed large. You picked what you thought was a secluded spot in the park for your ‘date’, which included a conversation that was almost entirely cruise directed by you. Said conversation completely flatlined when you both spotted Nancy Wheeler cresting a hill, walking her family dog.
At this point, you and Nancy were most familiar with each other from the school newspaper– she, the peachy-cheeked junior, the rising star that was sure to make editor and you, the girl who knew where the parties were happening and where the bodies were buried. 
The picture of coquettishness, she offered you and Jonathan an awkward, stilted wave. Jonathan spoke a grand total of three words after she left, zeroing in on the spot where she appeared like a man possessed. 
You didn’t acknowledge his existence after that.
It’s not that you were particularly hung up on Jonathan Byers, but you didn’t expect someone like him to be able to elicit that cold sinking feeling you were used to experiencing at the hands of other boys and their ignorance. Maybe it hurt more because you thought you had something in common– something real, something that wasn’t shotgunning a can of Busch. Whatever it was, it made you sure of two things. 
You hated Nancy Wheeler, and she wasn’t going anywhere. 
You wished you didn’t hate her. But you also wished she’d dissolve into a fine mist.  
“Wheeler’s a priss,” Munson pulls you out of memory lane in a harsh left turn, face contorting into a half-grimace. It’s the general consensus on Wheeler– the shoes are too goody for everyone to be falling head-over-heels with her, if you want Eddie’s honest opinion. There’s no there there, not like with–
“I’m a priss.” It sounds like you’re defending her. In some weird way, you might be. 
I know what guys like you think of me.
“No, you’re a bitch.” 
His weight on the word bitch makes your knees feel unsteady. The way he says it. It’s not enunciated like an insult. It’s a dagger cloaked in velvet. It’s warm, like he is. It’s almost filthy. It makes you look at his mouth. 
“You’re a stone cold killer bitch,” Eddie’s voice hums low in his chest. His heartbeat is picking up, and he wonders if you can feel it where your freezing fingertips are squeezing his pulse point, “and I think–”
“You two truant assholes gonna buy anything today or am I gonna have to call the goddamn dog warden on y’all?” 
Heaved back into reality by the clerk at the cash desk. A trickle of cold sweat runs from the nape of your neck into the collar of your sweater. Heaved back into reality to see you’re still clutching Eddie Munson by the wrist, and he’s looking at you like you’re the last Popsicle. Cold shock in the middle of a summer’s day.
It gets so hot here in summer.
“I think,” you breathe as you unstick your fingers from him, suddenly aware that you’re parched and starving and your face hurts, “it’s time for me to go home.” 
“I– yeah,” Munson stumbles, also perturbed by the interruption. His red-ringed eyes gain a little more clarity. He’s seeing something you’re not seeing. He shouldn't be letting himself see that. “Let’s go.”
Let’s go back to the van. Let me make you look at me like that again. Let me see if you’re cold all over. I can fix that.
“No, I gotta…” Your head pounding, your thoughts swimming– the sharp and stupid realness of this whole afternoon coming into perfect view. What are you doing? “I need to walk it off.” 
He inhales sharply, a strangled chuckle– oof. That other shoe, that buckled heel of yours, clattering to the floor. He should have expected that, right? There’s no way you’d wanna… Because you’re you and he’s…
Eddie retreats back into himself a step or two; it looks like he’s gone all bashful, a little color dropping out of his cheeks. His hands clasping behind his back. His heart is in his big intestine. 
“That’s the second time you’ve turned me down today, sweetheart. Keep it up, I’m gonna start thinkin’ you don’t like me.”
Munson, get the fuck out of here before I ban you again! and Jerry, can’t you see me talking to somebody right now! explode in a cacophony, the boy and the keeper of the keys to the record store hollering at each other. You take this moment of interruption to nudge the door open with your shoulder. But you don’t start into the street without giving him one more look. 
“Lacy.” He’s grinning this dumb grin, eyes gone soft at the corners.
He’s giving this one last nudge.
Your heart thumps. A reminder– this is really happening. Shit. Fuck.
“That’s the thing, though,” you say, attempting to smooth your expression out with a frosty smile. “I don’t like you, Eddie.”
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author's notes: of course, my eternal eternal ETERNAL THANKS for all the love you have shown this story and the anons you've sent!!! writing is crazy so thank you for caring about mine. onto the fun stuff because you know i love a reference: - he leans great. a shameless my so-called life drop but eddie to me is a kind of stunning midpoint between catalano (left back twice) and krakow (would go down on you for days) - someone in the tags said ronnie and lacy should hold hands and i don't disagree. lab partner love never dies! - there's never a bad time to listen to ace of spades by motörhead - there's also never a bad time to listen to treasure by cocteau twins, which is the album lacy is referencing - i always fee like the zombie hand reaching out of the ground motif is unfairly accredited to the living dead franchises or something like that, but of course the most iconic instance to me is from carrie (1976) because women own horror - god, we really need to bring back listening booths in record stores! like we really need to bring them back lest romance die forever. - richard and linda thompson, also forever!!!!! my headcanon for this re: jonathan byers is this particular record is a joyce byers influenced choice. joyce and lonnie loved this record (when they were happy... lol) and played it all the time when jonathan was a baby. their original copy got lost (or destroyed) and sometimes jonathan will play it in the main street listening booth but he won't bring it home because he knows it's painful for his mom. - all my stone cold killer bitches in the house make some noise - jerry from main street vinyl you will always be rob from high fidelity in MY HEART (eddie is barry even though he doesn't work there lmao) - ok my hellcats! that's all the cultural education for this chapter!! thanks again for reading, reblog and scream at me in the asks because i so appreciate (and need) the support and i'd also love y'all to send me prompts! don't be shy! i love an in-universe blurb!
198 notes · View notes
seirei-bh · 19 days
Text
Jason Mendal headcanons
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I wrote these headcanons for fun, however, keep in mind that there is only a few episodes of MCL NG out by now, so I may be wrong about some ideas due to later revelations. (I've also added some NSFW headcanons under the cut!)
-He loves luxury restaurants, especially Italian food, and everything expensive and exotic that is the specialty of five-star chefs.
-He has a limousine and a driver, but he only uses them on special occasions, since he prefers to drive his own car.
-If he were an animal he'd identify with a panther, a wolf or a shark
-He likes to listen to jazz.
-He made an anonymous Twitter account that he uses to insult Devemenentiel members (later Thomas found it and hacked it to permanently ban it, lol)
-He usually wears cologne, his favorites are “Sauvage” by Dior, and “Eros” by Versace (obviously very expensive and brand name)
-He doesn't feel close to his family. Most of them are unbearable to him, with a few exceptions.
-He tends to think that stable romantic relationships are a waste of time. Most of his romantic relationships in the past didn't last very long, almost all of his former lovers complained that "he was married with his job" or that "he was a self-centered asshole". He never had enough time for them and he got bored of them because they were not intelligent or interesting enough to him (something that changes with newsucrette/Ysaline)
-He likes women with self-confidence, who know what they want and are capable of challenging him.
-His poliosis was a consecuence of his Waardenburg syndrome. That syndrome also causes on him to suffers from partial deafness and has vision problems. However, he hides all this by using a very discreet hearing aid and contact lenses. Almost no one knows this except a few people very close to him, Jason hides these problems from the people at his company and any competitors to avoid look weak.
-He's afraid of one day becoming completely deaf, so he learned to read lips and sign language.
-He doesn't want to have children, partly because he doesn't have time to raise them, but mostly because he fears they could inherit the physical problems he has, like a partial or complete deafness.
-Since he was little he was always very good at maths.
-Jason pretends he was always popular, but he was quite nerdy at school, something that he decided to change later in high school and college, he went from being the nerd boy who other made fun of to being the popular boy who insulted and bullied the others.
-During his childhood and teenage years he used to dye his hair so that other children would not mess with him, but as an adult he learned to leave his natural white streaks with self-confidence and to see them as an attractive and unique feature.
-He likes the beach, the pool and going on a yacht. He hates mountains and nature.
-He likes to go to the theater and museums. He knows a lot about the life and work of artists, but he doesn't know as much about art itself, although he pretends he does.
-He has the philosophy of “the end justifies the means” and also that money does give happiness, or at least it can help buy it.
-As a child he learned to play the piano, but as an adult he has thrown away most of his former hobbies from his little free time, because he no longer has time for any of that.
-He got that tattoo on his arm because he lost a big bet once, but since Jason never talks about his defeats, when someone asks him, he says that he got that tattoo just because he wanted to and without any reason or meaning beyond the aesthetic.
-Devon was one of the few true pals Jason really respected and appreciated in the past, before “something” happened between them and they became enemies. Each of them has a different version about what really happened in mind, so that hostility due to differences in povs became increasingly stronger as the years went by. (Probably in this case it is Jason who is not right, but he is too proud to admit that he was wrong.)
-He felt attracted to newsucrette/Ysaline from the first moment he saw her. At first it was just desire and he wanted to manipulate her, but over time that feeling grew stronger and turned into love. Something that he also tried to ignore and deceive himself, denying it until he realized about the truth. He knew that maybe she would hate him, that maybe he would hurt her, that everything could end very badly, but still he couldn't resist to try it.
NSFW headcanons
-He loves bondage, specially tying your hands with his tie.
-He enjoys giving you orders in bed and see you obeying them, but also he enjoys secretly even more when you're a "bad girl" and refuse to do what he orders.
-Praise kink (both give and receive)
-He absolutely adores when you claw your nails on his back, so he has more excuses to call you “kitten.”
-Also when you grab him by his tie to drag him to the bedroom and passionately tear off his clothes.
-His favorite place is in his house, although it can be in bed, against the wall or on a table.
-Too excited by the idea of f*king you in Goldreamz's office, on his desk table sometime.
-He almost always prefers to be the dominant one, but also loves when you fight for dominance and you get to be the queen in his bed who is able to doms him.
-He loves to tempt you beforehand, whispering sexy and dirty things in your ear, kissing you on the neck and caressing you softly and subtly, until you can't take yourself anymore.
-Hard. Savage. Passionate. Sometimes very fast for all the sexual tension you two can't handle, sometimes unbearably slow on purpose because he wants to hear you beg for more and praise him how good he is and how much you want him.
-You two always end on a bed after an argument. He's turned on by how beautiful you look when you're angry and how you fight back fierly. Sometimes he makes you angry on purpose because how much he enjoys the moment and what comes later.
-He loves when you tell him that you hate him. That turns him on too even more.
-Skilled with his fingers and proud of it *wink*
-Proud of his own body. Yeah, his size too.
-He loves to kiss your neck, caress your legs and grab your thighs and butt.
-He loves looking at you. His gaze is especially intense and challenging when you're riding him, and he likes to hear you gasp as he watches your beautiful face and body.
-Sometimes is a competition between the two to see who shows better skills in bed and how much you both can last (how many hours and poses). He'll give you his best sexy smirk and won't stop f*king you until you beg him, but you would never beg your enemy... right?
Extra! A few nsfw sweet headcanons too:
-If he notices that you feel too uncomfortable and nervous, he makes humorous comments to break the ice and make you laugh.
-Although he likes BDSM, he will always ask you if you feel comfortable or not with it and will stop if you ask him to do so.
-He's not very used to aftercare, but he knows that you need them, so he tries to give it to you. Plus, he likes it when you rest your head on his torso, close to his heart, and he thinks you look gorgeous while you sleep.
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stealingyourbones · 2 years
Text
The first time Booster sees The Kid was in the middle of evacuating civilians. Booster knows that face. He knows that kid. That’s the Ruler of the Infinite Realms.
Booster freaks the fuck out because “holy shit that was the ghost king.”
The Justice league are very confused that Booster is panicking over this random child but decide to leave him be because he’s Booster Gold.
Booster decides to not say anything to the League or anyone at all because of his fear of accidentally making this kid turn evil. He knew that this kid fought an evil version of himself that wiped out worlds so he really doesn’t wanna fuck this up. He knows this kid needs a support system or else he’ll burn out in a few years but doesn’t know what to do.
So Booster goes back to the watchtower and talks to Blue Beetle about it. And he’s panicking because “Kord what should I do?! This kid can just wipe out Superman and I can’t just not tell the rest of the league. This kid has a really tragic life and I can’t not just help him. I don’t want to accidentally do something wrong and mess everything up.”
Blue beetle goes “You don’t have to tell the League. You can talk with the kid. Keep him on the right path. Become the support system for the kid.”
Booster, not realizing that he could be the one to help just goes “oh shit. That’s a good idea actually.”
And so Booster tracks down Danny in his civies and chats with Danny and offers to always be there to help.
Danny is really apprehensive but everyone knows that Booster is from the future and if the man from the future thinks that this is a good idea, yeah he should probably just go along with it. He’s had good experiences with individuals who know a great deal about future events and time and hopefully that track record won’t end here.
Booster just helps Danny with really basic shit like homework and also helping give him blueprints (with the assistance of his AI robot pal Skeets :)) to make better ghost equipment that won’t harm him and is years beyond its time compared to the rest of their current ghost technology.
So yeah. Blue beetle visits the ghost kid Booster keeps talking about and realizes that this teenager is super skilled and gifted in the engineering field. Kord tests him with an issue that has stumped the current engineers at his company and this kid solves it in under thirty minutes. The second Danny figures out the issue, Ted offers Danny an internship at Kord Industries. Danny accepts and he now basically has two Dads that support and accept him with his powers.
Once there’s a big ghost attack that the JLA has to fight and Booster arrives and pulls out this futuristic and extravagant yet cobbled together lookin machine that just captures and contains the ghost. The rest of the League are just like “what the fuck” because they were getting destroyed by this thing and Booster just had the tech that was specifically needed to capture this thing. Kord explains that his kid made it and the league is confused because “what? Kord has a kid?” And then they introduce Danny to the league. Batman instantly demands to meet this kid so he can collaborate and make more tech so situations like this won’t happen again.
They agree and later in the week Danny goes to the watchtower and does a whole “holy fuck you’re Batman” and is enamored by the vigilante. Batman on the other hand is Alert and Concerned, thinkin “why is this kid very much so not human. Too long limbs. Teeth funky. What the fuck.” And just accepts that he’s prolly a meta.
Danny never tries to show his ghost form to anyone. He uses his powers very casually and everyone simply assume that he’s a meta. Danny is super sociable and makes everyone in the league adore him almost instantly. Hired by both Batman and Kord Industries, Danny makes machines and gadgets to help the Justice League and eventually gets promoted to the Leagues head engineer.
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