#apologies for any spelling mistakes

[captaincolorblob]

Long post ahead! I just wanted to share some thoughts on the latest Fundy-Wilbur Lore stream, and it turned out to be a bit of a ramble, so apologies for that! Hope you enioy reading :] //TW for talk about suicide and spoilers for the stream

You know what makes the stream even more gutwrenching for me? At the start of the stream, Wilbur asked Fundy if he wanted to hang out. He hasn’t talked to his son in years and wants to at least try to have som fun with him

And when Fundy, after a small pause as if he was suprised that Wilbur actually asked- he says yes. Even though he knows his father left him -was the first one to abandon him- cause he knows a part of him still misses his dad, despite everything And Wilburs answer? His little “Yeah?”. A question cause he’s suprised. He’s shocked that his son actually thinks spending time with him would be worth it. Even though they left of on..bad terms, to say the least. But you know what really gets me? The way Wilbur says that. His quiet “Yeah?”, his reassurance that his son still loves him enough to be around him? He sounds like he’s two seconds away from crying on the spot. He sounds so happy- to hear that yes, he finally has a chance to fix this- to give his Funster, his little trans furry- his son, at least one good memory of the two before he goes.

Because he knows Fundy is mad with him, he paused when Fundy screamed about Wilbur never leaving sarcastically. Because Wilbur knows that he wasn’t there for his son when he should’ve been during Pogtopia and the Elections. He’s at least starting to acknowledge his death had an effect on others. Including Fundy.

So he desperately tries to have fun with his son, to go teach him how to fish, to play an hilariously awful play of Catch with him. Wilbur apologizes, cause as he said- it feels like nature to him- and tells his son that as long as Fundy is happy, he’ll be alright. Even if that happyness is without him in the picture. Even if it is with his rival. Even if he never gets to see his son again. If Fundy is happier without him, he can understand and respect that. Fundy has every right to do so.  But when Wilbur asks if Fundy will remember what they did together? The fishing? The play of Catch? His apology? He’s met with silence.

And Wilbur takes that as a No, his son doesn’t even want the memory of him, which is alright. It hurts, yes, but if his son is happier he’ll swallow the hurt down. But then Fundy says he set his spawn far away, how he isnt really friends with anyone in Las Nevadas, how he doesnt plan on contacting anyone anymore and just get away- Wilbur gets a twisted kind of deja vu, he sees himself in Pogtopia where his son is standing, near the edge of the plattform. He even outright says that he thinks Fundy is heading down a dangerous path.  He doesnt want his son to go down the same path he did, he doesnt want the literal hell he was in for years to happen to Fundy- his own son.

But he’s to late. Hell, Wilbur barely even had time to react before he saw Fundy jumping off. Its how Wilburs hope- his immense joy to finally have a chance to end off on good terms with someone- how at first he can at least bite down the pain at Fundy justifyably not forgiving him and not wanting to talk to him-

and how it turns out that no, it gets worse, he has to see the after-effects of his son going through the same pain as he did in Pogtopia- the only difference being that Fundy wasn’t a grand president, he never got to be, and how everyone actually turned on him and abandoned him, Wilbur included, while Wil during Pogtopia was only consumed by Paranoia to think so

And finally getting to expirience the feeling Phil, Tommy, Niki, Fundy himself and hell even Quackity had to go through when he first left.  And now Wil has to deal with the fact that he knew what Fundy must’ve felt like- he literally has felt it himself, and realize that he was to late To late, cause he avoided even thinking of his son to avoid the painful memories, and when he finally talks and apologizes to him? 

He was to late to finally be there for his son when he was struggling And to thinking of that in hindsight while rewatching the stream, when seeing him barely get out the quiet “Yeah?” It feels like a punch in the gut

#wilbur soot #c!wilbur #c!fundy #dsmp #dsmp spoilers #dia rambles #i am not okay about these two #suicide tw #apologies for any spelling mistakes #nothing better then some good ol salt in the angst-wound on a good monday evening amirte? #dream smp spoilers

[thesunisatangerine]

playing for keeps – chapter two

alexia putellas x barçakeeper!childhoodfriend!reader

warnings: coarse language, brief mentions of grief

(a/n in the tags) [chapters: one, two]

word count: 10.2k

[1]

A shiver ran down your spine in spite of the sun’s anger that bored down on you. 

You wiped your free hand on your jersey but sweat clung to your hand like glue, yet your fingers remained cold, even the ones on the hand your mother was holding. It didn’t help that your gut had coiled into a knot that you couldn’t loosen; you’d breathed deeply, you’d counted backwards from ten… and still, it remained there.

What was it about this that scared you so much? 

The fear sprung in you the moment you stepped foot out of your home, growing the more you got closer, and now that you and your mother were walking across the parking lot to the building, it threatened to claw its way up your throat. And that was something you really didn’t want to happen. 

You gripped your mother’s hand tighter. She gazed down at you with a soft look, giving your hand a slight, reassuring squeeze, and that was enough to ease that feeling a little bit. 

The door creaked long and loud when your mother pushed it open, reminding you of that old, unused shed by the garden at home that made the same sound when you entered it, and it reverberated against the walls. No one was inside except for an empty desk in front of a wall with chipped, white paint. Just beside that, there was a corridor lined with a few doors, some of which were opened. And at the end of it there was an opening that led to the sunlit grasses of the outside.

At the sound, the head of a woman popped out from one of the open doors. The woman came out, a water bottle in hand which she set on the desk, and she greeted you and your mother with a friendly smile. Even still, you took a step back and hid behind your mother.

“Hello! I’m sorry for making you wait! How can I help you?”

“No need to apologize, we just came in.” Your mother laughed as she waved a hand in the air. “My daughter is actually here for her first day of training with the club.”

“Oh, is she?” The woman gasped and clapped her hands together in delight. She beamed down at you and stooped low to offer her hand out, and then she cooed, “Hello, love, I’m Teresa.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you took her hand and shook it, telling her your name in a whisper. Teresa smiled at you again before she straightened her back. 

“I’m so glad you got here just then. We don’t usually get people around this time so we tend to lock the front door, and I was about to head out back to bring the girls some water.” She explained to your mother and then she gazed back down at you again. “Are you excited to meet the girls?”

At your silence, your mother answered for you, “She is, it was all she could talk about. She’s just a bit shy.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about that, love. The girls are just as lovely. Will you be joining us?”

“Are parents allowed to stay?” When Teresa nodded with a hum, your mother continued, “I see. Perhaps another time. I have somewhere to be.”

“We could schedule for another time.” Teresa nodded in understanding before she regarded you again, “Now, shall we meet everyone?”

Fear rose in you again and your eyes darted to your mother’s. There, you found an encouraging light that grounded you and without really intending to, you agreed with Teresa. Shortly after, your mother left but not before she told you, “Now, my little firecracker, you behave yourself. And remember, have fun and show them what you’re made of.” 

Something akin to fire lit up in your chest at your mother’s words, and its warmth spread all the way to your fingers and toes. It was a soothing calm similar to the one you’d get from a cup of warm milk and honey in winter. And when she pressed a goodbye kiss on your forehead, a sense of safety blanketed over you even long after she’d left. 

Teresa took your hand after she locked the front door, and occupied the other with holding the rack of water bottles, and she led you down the corridor. As you passed through, it became clear just how tiny the facility actually was but it held everything that you needed; Teresa had pointed and named the areas with a jut of her chin: the toilets were here, the nurse bay just beside it, and the lunch room was just across. 

“It isn’t much but it’s home for the club.” Teresa smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. And her eyes were clouded with an emotion that made you feel a sudden urge to hug her. The emotion passed quickly and in the next moment, you found yourself surrounded by heat as you stepped down a threshold that led you outside. 

Squinting and putting your free hand over your eyes, the sight of the field came into focus. It was surrounded by a metal, wire fence, and its entrance opened up at the end of this path you were on to the middle of the nearest sideline. Through the fence, girls of seemingly different ages ran about in one half of the field, shouting and laughing as they passed balls to each other. And you found your nerves returning but it was soon replaced by giddy anticipation. 

You and Teresa were close enough now that your presence drew the attention of the girls. Upon catching the sight of you, they stopped and stared. And even from a good distance away, the weight of their eyes pressed on you and heat rose to your cheeks again.

A shout and a clap made the girls whip their heads–as well as your own–towards the direction of the sound. It came from a woman who said something to the girls you were too far to hear, but by the end of it, the girls resumed their training as if they never stopped. 

From the lack of attention, you sighed out a breath. 

Then the woman began her way to the sideline just as you and Teresa arrived there. Teresa set the water bottle rack down by her feet while your eyes wandered over from the walking woman to the other girls. For the most part, they all looked the same age and height, but a few towered over the rest with their great build and height, and that did nothing to quell your brewing fear. There was only one girl that was smaller than everyone else, younger too, whose height looked to be similar to yours. 

The girl was last in the line she queued for and as she stood there waiting for the ball, she had her head turned over her shoulders to look at you. She had short hair held back by a headband, and her shirt ballooned at the waistband of her shorts, which fell all the way down to her knees. Instead of fear, an urge to greet her rose in you, but as you raised your hand to wave at her, she whipped her head back to the front just in time to receive the next ball that was passed to her. 

“Ah! Our new addition to the family is finally here!”

The exclamation had you turning yours to the front, and you found the woman there with both hands planted on her hips. She towered over you–like most adults did but she was taller than most–and the angle made the fine lines around the corners of her eyes and lips look deeper from the harsh sunlight. Her blue eyes were light, inviting and warm, and they held a calming force that reminded you of your mother’s. When she stuck out her hand, you noted the way her skin clung to the surface of her flesh, almost translucent in the sun, but you found yourself unafraid to shake it immediately.

“Welcome to Sabadell Girls’ Football. My name is Catalina but you may call me Madam Cata. Remind me again, how old are you, little one?”

“I just turned eight.” You said, and you nearly forgot to add, “Madam.”

Madam Cata’s smile brightened and, to your surprise, she let out a small laugh. At her amusement, you found yourself smiling, too.

“Very young, indeed. Well then, I’ll take you from Teresa to meet the rest of the girls.”

Your heart jumped at the thought and you turned to Teresa. She must've seen a hint of your apprehension because she gave you a soft, encouraging smile and said, “You’ll be just fine. You’ll see.”

Somehow, you believed her. So you nodded and thanked her, and with another smile and a wave of her hand, she left you with Madam Cata who began to lead you away with a gentle hand against your back.

After you’d crossed the small distance from the sideline to the middle of the field, Madam Cata called out to the girls. They gathered and now that they were closer, your shoulders curled inwards under the weight of their stares, and you kept your eyes down at the red laces of your boots, which your cheeks and ears probably resembled now as they heated from the attention. 

You felt the weight of Madam Cata’s hand on your shoulder. 

She was smiling at you and then she said softly, “Don’t be afraid, little one. These are your friends and sisters. Go on. Tell them your name.”

Finally, you looked at the girls. And as if drawn by a force, your attention immediately locked on that girl, and for reasons you couldn’t quite explain, a sense of calm washed over you. 

The girl stared at you like the others did, but it was different. It wasn’t a look you found to be negative, more curious and attentive. Her head was tilted slightly to the side as if the change in angle would help her figure you out. She wasn’t quite smiling or frowning; she impressed you with a leveled attitude, an expression you typically saw on people who were significantly older than you, and you were surprised to see such a face worn by someone as young as the both of you. 

Her eyes traced an invisible path along your face all the way down to your boots. She was sizing you up, you knew this. You’d played enough games at recess and after school to know how kids scrutinized each other for weaknesses, but you felt it wasn’t the same with this girl. Her gaze was more appraising than critical, as if she was imagining how you would affect the team. You could almost see her calculations playing like a movie above her head and you barely stopped yourself from giggling at the image. 

She must’ve seen your amusement because she straightened her head in attention, and her brows knitted to a slight frown. The change should’ve given you grief but it only made you all the more interested to get to know her for reasons you couldn’t quite understand. There was just something about this girl… something that you wanted to discover. And so, right there and then, you decided that you were going to befriend her. 

Feeling a bit better, you finally introduced yourself with a wave to the others before you locked your gaze on the girl again.

The girl’s frown deepened. 

Your smile widened. 

“Now, girls, introduce yourselves.” Said Madam Cata. 

And so they did. 

A couple of the older girls gave you a smirk that reminded you of the older cousins you’d see at family gatherings, or the boys at school who thought you were easy picking whenever you played with them. The rest looked friendly and introduced themselves with a pleasant smile and a wave.

It was the girl’s turn now.

“Hi. I’m Alexia and I play as a midfielder.”

Alexia. Somehow, the name suited her just right, like she was born to be one. The fact that she was the only one who stated their position wasn’t lost to you. It was an assertion–a claim–and this again should’ve intimidated you but it only made you smile. 

Now that introductions were done, the girls dispersed as per Madam Cata’s instructions. 

“Alexia. Come here, my child.” Madam Cata called out which stopped Alexia from running away with the rest. She froze midstep, her eyes darting to you then back to Madam Cata, before she reluctantly turned and shuffled until she was beside the woman. 

“Seeing as the both of you are the closest in age, Alexia, I’d like you to make her feel welcomed.” Madam Cata began, placing a hand on Alexia’s shoulder, and then she continued, “You two are the youngest in the club and I have high hopes that you two will become friends.” 

Madam Cata smiled at you, then to Alexia. “What do you say, Alexia?”

Alexia said nothing and only stared at you. You stood your ground and stared back, waiting for Alexia’s move. In this moment, doubt crept in and your resolve wavered. Were you mistaken? Did she really not like you? She hasn’t even given you the chance, yet… You thought in disappointment. 

And then Alexia, instead of replying to Madam Cata, stuck out her open hand to you. “Let’s go?”

You couldn’t help it. You grinned.

Giving Madam Cata one last look, you took Alexia’s hand. It was sweaty and warm, and her grip was gentle. And then she was pulling you forward, easing you both in a run. And as you took off hand-in-hand across the yellowing grass of the field, Alexia turned her head to you and a tentative smile crinkled the corner of her lips, and you found the rest of your worries melting away.

You squeezed her hand, smiling.

And, this was the best part:

She squeezed your hand back. 

[2]

By the end of the day, Alexia’d introduced you to everyone, and all the other girls had warmed up to you, including the ones who’d intimidated you at first. Alexia may be young, but you saw how the other girls respected her. Despite this, Alexia remained sincere and kind, and this fact made your admiration for her grow

Training-wise, Madam Cata separated you from the rest at first, testing your stamina and evaluating your technical skills before she eventually let you join in on the 7-a-side matches that ended today’s training. You were slightly disappointed that you didn’t end up on the same team as Alexia, but it was fun defending against her. To your surprise, it didn’t even bother you that your team lost. Maybe it was because you got to witness Alexia shoot the winning goal, but of course you kept that information to yourself. It was late afternoon when you finished, and all the other girls had been taken home by their parents, except for you two.

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait inside, girls?” Miss Teresa called out from the front door. 

Alexia shook her head to answer for the both of you. 

“We’re fine here, thank you.”

“Alright. Just stay in sight, okay?” 

The both of you called out in agreement and finally satisfied, Miss Teresa returned back to her desk. There were two large trees that flanked the path towards the front door, and under their shade were benches built to wrap around their bases. Under one of those trees, you and Alexia waited for your parents to pick you up. 

You kicked your feet in the air as they hung from the bench, relishing the way the cool breeze soothed the heat around the new bruise you got on your shin. 

“The bruise is getting bigger.” Alexia muttered. She’d taken off her headband and you noticed how short her hair actually was; only the front had enough length to fall over her face, parting in the middle to reveal her eyes. Apples were high in her cheeks and the remaining sunlight that filtered through the leaves played on her skin, and made her hazel eyes look lighter, almost green. She twisted her fingers as her lips curled into a regretful pout. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to kick you.”

“Hey, come on, it was a game. It’s fine.” When the pout didn’t leave her face, you knocked your knee against hers and added, “It looks kinda cool, don’t you think?”

At that, an amused smile replaced Alexia’s pout. “Only you would think a bruise looks cool.”

“I’m different like that.” 

“Sure, you are.”

“I am. Why else are you talking to me?”

Alexia rolled her eyes and then she laughed. 

“What time are you getting picked up?” 

You looked at your watch.

 “My mom should be here any minute now. What about yours?” 

“Soon as well,” Alexia answered after she peeked at your watch. And then, she asked, “Do you live nearby?”

“No, I live in Mollet.” 

Alexia squeaked and at the sound, you looked at her and found her eyes were delightfully wide with surprise. “You do? I do, too!”

“Really?” You gasped, mirroring her in your excitement. Elation filled you at the prospect of Alexia living so close. Imagine the sleepovers, the after school football games! “Where do you live? What school do you go to?”

But when Alexia answered you and you recognised that the places she named were on the other side of town, you pouted in disappointment. When Alexia asked you what your face was about, you told her where you lived and your school, and then Alexia started pouting, too.

“I wish we lived closer. We could play football after school!” 

“Yeah! And you could stay over! Or maybe I could?” Alexia whined. “Why do you have to live on the other side of town?” 

“If I could drive a car, I would come over all the time!” You imitated holding a steering wheel, and you blew air through your lips, imitating an engine. 

Alexia slapped your arm, laughing. “Are you speeding? That’s illegal! If you drive like that, I’ll never get in the same car as you!” 

“Fine,” you sighed dramatically. “I won’t speed just for you.” 

“That’s comforting.” Alexia quipped dryly. “No, but I’m serious. I’ll ask my parents if I could stay the night some time. You should do the same!”

“I will. My parents will probably say yes as long as your parents are alright with it.” 

The sound of gravel being disturbed drew both of your attention. A car and a truck parked in the space in front of you, and you recognised the car to be your mom’s. 

“My mom’s here. Is your–”

“Papá!”

Alexia jumped out of her seat and ran towards the other car, a truck, whose door opened to reveal a man, Alexia’s father. He was tall, like really tall, towering over the truck next to him. He had long, loose gray pants on that stretched all the way up to his chest; the upper part reminded you of a bib, and the white shirt beneath was covered with what you supposed to be car oil—your own father had come into the house with the strange scent and feel of it enough times for you to know the look of it from a distance. There was some of it on his cheeks as well, but Alexia didn’t seem to be bothered by it, for she immediately jumped into his arms, and he, with a cheerful laugh, lifted his daughter up with a small grunt.

You smiled at the sight. 

Seeing as Alexia’d gone to her father, you went ahead and did the same, jumping off the bench to meet your mother as she got out of her own car. 

“How was your day, my little firecracker?” Your mother asked after she’d greeted you with a kiss on your cheek, running her hands over your forehead and temple to wipe away the remaining sweat there.

“It was really good, Mamá! I made a friend! She’s over there. Look!” 

In your excitement, you tugged on your mother’s hand and pointed her over to where Alexia and her father were, only to find Alexia doing the same with her father.

Your mother laughed. “I see you’re very much alike, the two of you.”

And then, your mother waved at Alexia’s father, who waved back, before she began to walk over where they were, and you trailed behind her. She was probably going to talk to Alexia’s father, and you were excited to spend just a little more time with Alexia.

Alexia shoved her bag inside the truck before she ran to you. When she stopped right beside you and looped her arm around yours, you told her, “Your father’s so tall.” 

“He is, isn’t he?” Alexia beamed at you, pride in her voice as she looked at her father. “Is your father tall?”

“Yes, but not as tall as your dad.” And then a thought struck you as you looked back at Alexia. There was Alexia’s father, and here was Alexia. “You know, you look like your father.”

“Yeah, I know. People say it all the time.”

“And you don’t get sick of it?”

She looked at you with a confused frown. “No, why would I be?” 

“I don’t know.” You shrugged. “I’m not really sure why I asked that.” 

Alexia just smiled at you and asked, lowering her voice with mischief.  “What do you think they’re talking about?” 

She’d begun to shuffle forward, taking you along with her because of your linked arms, and now you could hear their conversation.

“–you and your family come over for dinner. I’d prepared so much tonight in celebration of my daughter’s entry to the club. I don’t think we could handle all the food at all.” Your mother laughed, and then she added, “We could also discuss the arrangements then.”

You turned to Alexia with wide eyes and met her gaze, which brimmed with excitement. Turning back to Alexia’s father, you willed him to say yes.

Alexia’s father scratched the back of his head, his other hand on his hip. “We’d love to come over. That is, if you don’t mind having a five-year-old over, of course.”

“No, we don’t mind at all! Please, do come over.”

“Okay, then I’ll tell my wife. What time should we head over?” 

“Nine should be fine.”

Alexia’s father nodded, and that was that.

You couldn’t hold your excitement any longer. You spun to face Alexia, grabbed her hands and both of you squealed. Laughter came from the direction of your parents, but you paid them no mind because all you could think about was that Alexia was coming over for dinner. 

“All right. That’s quite enough girls. Say goodbye now.” Alexia’s father said with a light voice. “You’ll see each other again later.”

Alexia nodded, and then soon she was hugging you. “Bye, I’ll see you later.”

“Bye, Alexia.” You said, lifting your chin off her shoulder before you let her go and took your place at your mother’s side.

“Alright, Jaume, it was nice meeting you.”

Jaume, so that was Alexia’s father’s name. Jaume waved his goodbye to the both of you with a smile on his face, and then he and Alexia drove away.

On the way home, up until Alexia and her family got to your home, you were practically buzzing with excitement. You ran up to your room to bathe, changed, ran back down, and even then the clock’s hand was still not pointing to nine. 

“Honey, you peeking out through the window won’t make them get here any faster.”

A sigh escaped your lips, and pushing yourself off the window sill with a huff, you whined. “When are they getting here?”

Your mother laughed at that. “It’s only ten past eight, my love. Go to your father and help him. Maybe time will pass quicker that way, no?” 

Dragging your feet with another sigh, you made your way to the kitchen. Your father had his back turned to you when you entered through the archway as he busied himself on the kitchen counter. He stuck his hand into the bag of flour in front of him, and he spread it all over the counter, which caused a plume of white to rise in the air.

“Can I help?” You asked, shuffling closer so that you were beside him. There was flour everywhere on his side of the counter, while two empty baking trays were lined up in front of you. “What are you making, Papá?”

“This, my love, is pan de payés.” He lifted the tea towel in front of him to reveal four domes of raw dough, their surfaces taut with tension. He looked at them, and with a proud nod, he said, “Go wash your hands and help me with them.”

You did, and as you dried your hands, you asked, “Why are you making them? Don’t we have enough food for tonight?” 

“Why, they’re for our friends, of course. You wouldn’t want Alexia to leave here empty-handed, would you now, my love?”

Heat rose to your cheeks as you shook your head.

Your father smiled down at you with warmth. “Of course you wouldn’t. Now here, I’ll prepare this first one; you watch, and I’ll let you do the rest. How does that sound?” 

You nodded, and you watched. He carefully placed a dome of dough in the centre of the floured space, then took another pinch of flour and sprinkled it over the dough, before lightly running his hands over the surface to spread the flour evenly. He took out his bread lame and ran the blade over the surface of the dough, creating four gashes that intersected to form a diamond, and then he placed the dome on one side of a baking tray. 

You did as he did, albeit slower, and with the patient guidance of your father. After your father put the trays in the oven, the heat of it filled the space with warmth and light. As the two of you looked on at your work, your father began, “Remember this, my love. Food is an extension of our feelings and identities. It fills us, it sustains us, and it connects us. It makes us remember. When you eat your mother’s cooking, what do you feel? What do you think about?”

You didn’t even need to think; you answered immediately. “Warm. And I think about home, Mamá, and you.”

Your father smiled. “Good. Now, what do you think Alexia would think about if, say, she ate a piece of this bread for breakfast tomorrow?”

“Us?”

He hummed, and then a small laugh escaped his lips. He bent down slightly so he could tap your nose with his finger. “It’s going to be you, my love. How nice it is to be thought of, especially by a new friend, hmm?” 

You giggled, but a familiar warmth surged through you at the thought.

A knock resonated through the house, and you gasped, looking at your father in excitement.

“Ah, our friends are here. Go on, now.” Your father tilted his head in the direction of the front door, a half-smile on his lips. You gave him a hug, and you sprinted towards the door, only slowing down when a “No running, please!” resounded from the kitchen. 

“Oh, she’s so cute!” You heard your mother’s coo, and when you turned the corner, you saw her fussing over a little girl balanced on her father’s hip, while Alexia’s mother laughed warmly at your mother’s attention, and finally, you spotted Alexia looking up at her sister being pampered with a smile curling her lips.

You walked over to them.

“Ah! My daughter’s finally here.” Your mother placed a gentle hand behind your back. 

“Hello.” You greeted Alexia shyly, eyes fleeting from Alexia’s parents to her sister, then to Alexia herself, who was smiling at you. You stepped up to them to shake their hands, introducing yourself to them, and they did the same to you. You learned that Alexia’s mother was named Eli, and her little sister was named Alba. You offered your hand to Alexia as well, with a playful smile. Alexia caught on, and she giggled before throwing her arms around you.

“Isn’t she a dear? Oh, they seem so close already!” You heard Eli say it with a clap of her hands.

“Believe me, Alexia was all she could talk about the whole night!” 

Your cheeks heated when Alexia laughed against your ear at what your mother said, but in the end, you decided you didn’t quite mind. 

“Hello, welcome to our home.” Your father finally stepped out of the kitchen. He walked up to Jaume, shook his hand, and stooped down to press his right cheek against Eli’s. He cooed at Alba the same way your mother did, and he gave Alexia a wave. “You all must be hungry; please come join us in the dining area.” 

Once the lot of you moved to the kitchen, the evening progressed quite quickly, as it usually did when you were having a good time. Your parents got to know each other after they initially took turns talking about you and Alexia. They laughed and got lost in their conversations, while you and Alexia busied yourselves with Alba, helping her with her food, and who, after finally warming up to you, revealed herself to be a bundle of energy. 

At one point, the conversation moved to the living room, and this was when you and Alexia snuck out to the backyard. Alba’d fallen asleep not long after dinner, and she was safely pressed against Eli when the both of you took off. You’d lead Alexia to your favourite spot; it was a swing that hung from a branch of a sturdy tree, and this was how you found yourself pushing Alexia gently as she sat on it, her hands around the ropes of the swing.

“Why do you play football?” Alexia asked, breaking the silence. 

“How do you mean?”

“Like, are you only playing it for fun? Or, are you serious about it?”

You hummed as you pushed her. “I’m not sure yet. But, sometimes, when I’m in school, I find myself daydreaming about it.”

“That’s the same with me. It’s all I can think about. I dream about it, too.” 

“You’re serious about it.” It wasn’t even a question; you could hear it clearly in her voice. But she turned her head, and the look she gave you all but confirmed it. 

“I am,” she breathed out. “I really am.” 

You gave her another push. “Where do you want to end up?”

“Barça.” Her answer came quickly, like she’d thought it all through. And then she added, “One day, I’ll play for them.”

The conviction in her voice was enough to electrify you with a surge of inspiration, and as you pushed her on the swing, you had no difficulty believing that it would come true. Like Alexia said, it was only a matter of time.

One day.

You smiled, even though you knew she couldn’t see it. 

“I can see it, Alexia. And I know you’ll look great in scarlet and blue.”

[3]

“Yes, Mamá, I got it. Actually, can you text me the list?” 

“Ah, daughter of mine, have you taken so many balls to the head that you can’t even remember two things?” At your mother’s irritated response, a laugh bubbled from your throat.

“Actually, yes, Mamá. Probably a thousand by now. And I was joking, come on.” You waved back at a woman who thanked you as she crossed the pedestrian lane, and then you continued driving. As you turned the corner, you asked, “Why do you need so many drinks anyway? Are you having a party? You know I can’t drink during the season, right?”

“My girl, you have too many questions. Just make sure you come home in time, okay?”

“Yes, Mamá.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you alone. Have fun at training and give Alexia a kiss for me.”

The sentence made you tense, and you had to will your hands to loosen their grip on the steering wheel. You loved your mother, but there was no way in hell you would do that, even for her. 

You swallowed, hoping your apprehension wouldn’t show through your voice. “Okay. I’m going to go now. I love you. Tell Papá I love him, too. And Nona.” 

“I will. They’re very excited to see you. And I love you, too, my little firecracker.” 

Just as you hung up the phone, you turned the corner and found the parking lot of the Ciutat Esportiva Joan Gamper. You parked your car and took out your gym bag. The sun was high enough to blind you, so you put a hand over your eyes, and you saw the tall building that sported Barça’s logo. And as if you were greeting an old friend, you whispered, “It’s good to see you again.”

“Hello!” 

A cheerful voice addressed you from behind. You turned back, and you saw a woman of slight build, shorter than you, with short brown hair that curled just behind her ear. Some locks fell on her temple and covered her left eye, and the sun made her hair look golden. She was wearing loose, off-grey high-rise pants and a black long-sleeved turtleneck that accentuated the curve of her body.

She was beautiful.

And she was also Tori Favaro, the top-scoring forward for Roma last season and the fourth candidate for last year’s Ballon d'Or. Also, the other half of Barcelona’s new transfers this season.

Of course, you knew about her.

“Hey, Tori,” you said with a smile. 

She was now in front of you, and she grinned, which revealed the dimple in her left cheek. “I didn’t think you’d remember me!”

“How could I forget? The only other time I met you, you gave me a hard time!”

“You’re telling me! We couldn’t get past you at all! The fact that the only goal we got that day was from our own goal is still a bit embarrassing.” She laughed, followed by a sigh–wistful. The two of you walked towards the entrance of the Gamper. “I can’t believe that was more than ten years ago.”

At her wistfulness, you couldn’t help but recall the memory as well: FIFA U17’s World Cup, when Spain and Brazil clashed during the knockout stages. Tori was relentless in her attack, and you barely saved the balls that managed to get past your defenders. Even then, you—and everyone who had eyes—saw her potential, and now look how far she’d come; she was very well on track to getting a Ballon d'Or, and she was never more in her prime than now. 

“Is there any chance of you representing your country again now that you’re back in Barça?” 

“I’m not sure. I’ll just make my decision when they call me up the next time.” You shrugged, hefting your gym bag over your shoulder. The sudden urge to change the topic rose in you, so you asked quickly, “How are you finding Barcelona so far?”

Thankfully, Tori took the bait, and you happily listened to what she had to say about your city as the both of you walked through the lit, pristine corridors of Gamper, which, as you noted in passing, were strangely barren, as you reacted every now and again to whatever Tori said, even recommending her places worth going to. 

As Tori pushed the door to the locker room, a frown crossed her face, and she looked behind her. “Where is everyone?”

“I don’t–”

“Welcome to Barça!” Came the unified greeting and the cheers that suddenly erupted. 

A sign that read the same thing with the letters in alternating scarlet and blue, accented by some yellow hearts, was held between Marta and Alexia while the others stood in a semi-circle, clapping and hooting. A cake was on the centre table, and just behind it were piles of folded fabric, which you recognised to be yours and Tori’s set of training kits. Beside you, Tori wore the same expression on your face: mouth agape, eyes wide in pleasant surprise.

The semi-circle dispersed, and the next thing you knew, you were being hugged, patted on the back, and chatter filled the room.

“Look who’s back! Barça’s prodigal daughter finally returned home!” Mapi shouted, arms thrown up in the air, before she grabbed you by your shoulder to pull you into her.

“Don’t act like you missed me, asshole.” You laughed and punched her arm when she pulled away.

Mapi cradled her arm like you’d just injured her, looking at you with a look of exaggerated pain. She gasped, “Violence, already? Is that how you treat a teammate? I won’t stand for this. Alexia! Captain!” 

At that, you sidestepped around Mapi, but not after sticking your tongue out at her, as you navigated through your other teammates who welcomed you. You managed to get to the edge of the crowd, just at the end of the locker room, and that was when you saw Alexia with Tori. You were close enough to hear snippets of their conversation.

“–expect me to go easy on you.” Alexia said with a laugh, hands on her hips.

“Of course. Just because you’re my–”

An arm wrapped around your shoulder and a presence pressed up to your side. 

“So, did you get me Christen’s signature?” Patri’s voice filtered through your ear. 

You hissed through your teeth, your voice gravely low. “You know, I did ask her. She just doesn’t want to give it to you, dude.” 

Patri looked at you incredulously. “Wait. What do you mean?” 

“I’m not sure.” You shrugged, placing your gym bag on the nearby bench. “Did you say something to her the last time you saw each other?”

“Dude, the last time I saw her was what?” Patri frowned and blew air through her lips. “During the SheBelieves Cup? What–”

Grinning, you pulled something out of your bag and revealed it to her. Delight filled you upon seeing Patri’s eyes widen in recognition, her gaze fleeting between your face and down to the jersey. 

“Oh, you cheeky bastard!” She took the jersey from you, held it up in front of her to appreciate the signature down in the middle, and she embraced you with a force that made you grunt out a laugh. “Thank you!” 

A voice broke the two of you apart.

“Easy there, Patri. Don’t break any of her bones, please. She hasn’t even begun playing yet.” 

It was Alexia. 

Your heart lurched.

Patri looked at you, then at Alexia, and she put her hands up in surrender. Patri gave you one last knowing look—something that you tried hard not to think about too much—before she gave a two-finger salute to her captain, and off she went, leaving you alone with Alexia. 

“Hey,” Alexia greeted you and stepped into your space, arms wrapping around your shoulders. You tensed for a moment before you remembered to relax, snaking your own arms around her chest. “Now, I’m a bit jealous. Where’s my present?”

“I think I happened to spy it on your wrist, or am I just going blind?” You hummed. When you pulled away, you took her left hand and lifted it up. “Oh, look! There it is!”

Alexia threw her head back in laughter. 

The sight, like always, made you feel warm.

“So, I suppose you like it?” You couldn’t help it; shyness bled into your tone, and you only hoped that Alexia didn’t hear it.

“I love it. Thank you. It suits me, doesn’t it?” 

And though the silver band of the watch glinted around her wrist as it caught the light when she lifted her wrist to the level of your eye, you appreciated the way the golden flecks in her eyes shone despite the blue tint from the fluorescent lighting. 

“I’m glad you like it.” You said barely above a whisper, and you berated yourself at the softness that lingered there, but the way Alexia’s eyes became unfocused and lidded, as if she’d thought of a memory, made the slipup almost worth it.

Almost.

“Alright, good morning, everyone!” Jona’s voice pierced through the chatter, and everyone stilled, apt with attention, before sitting down on the bench. Alexia, Irene, and Marta remained standing but kept mostly to the sides. He, and two other assistant coaches, stepped into the room with their clipboards and folders in hand.

You shared a look with Tori. She snuck you a thumbs up, and you pressed your lips together, fighting a grin. 

“First of all, welcome to our new transfers.” A round of applause went around. Jona faced Tori, and he continued, “Tori, thank you for joining us. I hope you’ve settled yourself in the city, and we really look forward to playing with you.”

“I’ll do my very best to help our club. Visca Barça!” At the latter, hoots and claps erupted.

Jona laughed, but when he motioned for everyone to calm back down, the locker room grew silent again.

“And of course, this woman needs no introduction. Barça’s very own Wall has returned.”

Heat rose to your cheeks as cheers erupted once again. And it didn’t help that Alexia was looking at you with something akin to pride while clapping her hands, a soft smile on her lips.

“It’s great to be back, Jona. And like Tori, I’ll do my best to keep our club moving forward.” You caught Alexia’s eyes. “It is home, after all.” 

“It is home, indeed. Well, put your training kits on and meet us down at the fields. The rest of you, please head on over to Pitch 9.” 

Jona and the other coaches filed out. Alexia followed along with the rest, but not before giving you another look. You stared long after she’d gone, not knowing Patri remained in the changing room and saw the whole until you found her with a look of disapproval clear on her face.

She sighed, shook her head as she got up, and left.

Tori was there, too, and her eyes flicked between the door and you, then to the door again, and you could almost see the questions forming in her mind. You quickly took your training kits and entered one of the changing cubicles to spare yourself from any more confrontations. 

[4]

Training went relatively well. For the most part, anyway.

You were with the team for the warm-ups before you were separated—along with the other goalkeepers—for technical training, and then Jona called all of you back for some 5-side matches. 

At one point, your team went against Tori and Alexia’s team. They’d linked up, the two of them, keeping their touches to two at most. They were close now, and Jana was just barely holding Alexia at bay. You spotted Tori’s signal from the corner of your eye, but you needed Alexia to commit to a pass. You kept your weight on your toes. With a body feint to the left, tapping the ball to the right with her outer foot, and a quick cutback to the left, Jana was defeated, and Alexia kicked the ball.

Now!

You sprinted forward to the left, where you knew Tori was, and you leaped. The ball stuck to your gloves mid-air.

“Holy shit!” It came from a surprised Tori. 

You would’ve laughed, but you spotted an unmarked Caro who was making a run for it. You wound your shoulder back right after you landed on your feet and released the ball before Tori and Alexia could even think to get back. 

It sailed right on over to Caro, and she brought it down with her chest. Ingrid was on Caro all at once, but Esmee surged forward to follow a diagonal path from behind Caro, asking for the ball, and it only took one moment’s hesitation from Ingrid for Caro to make just enough space for her to shoot.

The ball went past the nearest post, and you pumped your hand in the air. When Caro saw you with her arm around Esmee, she gave you a thumbs up, and you returned the gesture with a clap.

It was nearing midday when all of you’d cooled down and headed to the gym. On the way inside, Tori ran up to you. 

“You nearly took off my head there.” She said, just slightly out of breath as she patted your back.

“I was going to tell you, ‘Heads up!’, but that would’ve ruined the surprise now, right?”

“Remind me not to play opposite you again.” She joked. “I forgot how aggressive you play. And I think you’ve only gotten worse!”

“It comes with the title.” You said, winking at her.

“Does it now?” She said it dryly, squinting at you. And then the both of you parted ways for your respective workouts.

It was going relatively well, but at one point, your attention moved to Alexia without meaning to. Alexia stood watch over Tori, who was lying down on the bench and lifting, attentive, and they conversed with a familiarity that transcended more than that of acquaintances. And you knew, then, that they’d probably hung out outside of sporting functions.

For some reason, the sight made you ache. 

Then a sigh came from somewhere beside you. You turned and found Patri there with her levelled expression, but her eyes were knowing with the way they looked at you. She tilted her head and patted your back before making her way to the exit. You hesitated for a moment, but, as if it had its own volition, your body stood up and followed her out to the sunlit pitch. 

Patri was further away now; she hadn’t stopped walking, and you had to jog to catch up with her. It took a moment, but you finally matched her stride, and without even looking at you, Patri began, “How are you?”

You stuck your hands into the pockets of your shorts. “Fine.”

Patri hummed, obviously unconvinced. She took a breath and let it out loudly through her teeth. Your shoulders locked at the sound, and you prepared yourself for the weight of whatever she was about to say. 

“I saw you looking at her,” Patri said, straight to the heart of the matter, and your body coiled tighter with tension. “You went through all that trouble. Yet, you’re back here again and still not over her. In fact, I think you’re—” Patri sent you a look, though this one fleeted so quickly that you weren’t able to decipher it. She blinked, returning her gaze forward. “Never mind.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course, it fucking does!” Patri exclaimed. “You were doing better! And then you ghosted me for months. The last time we talked, everything was going well with—"

“Don’t.” The word came out firm—a warning. “Patri, please, I don’t want to talk about it.”

Patri’s voice softened. “So... something did happen.”

“Patri. Drop it.”

Patri stopped walking just several metres away from the gym tent; you’d finished a lap around the pitch. She frowned at you, and you were ready to fight back if she insisted on talking about it, but she shook her head, and the frown melted away, and in its place was a look of pity.

“Okay. I hope you know what you’re doing. Just ready yourself.”

A pause and a hesitant look flashed through her face. But Patri was a good friend because she was direct, almost callous in the way she called everything as it was, and it was something you’d always liked and admired about her. Now it was no different because she said, “I think you know yourself already, but I just thought I’d let you know. Alexia has a girlfriend.” 

Despite yourself, your heart dropped. And you ached.

Oh.

Patri must’ve seen something on your face because that pitying look deepened with a hint of sympathy. She patted your back gently before she headed back in. You breathed deep, and it came out shaky, but you steeled yourself as you parted the entrance to the gym. 

Alexia’s laughter filled the air, drawing your attention immediately. And there she was in the same spot, holding onto Tori’s shoulder for support, bent over in her amusement, while Tori looked at her with a dimpled smile. 

You turned away.

[5]

A grunt escaped your lips as you got out of the car, your muscles bearing a pleasant soreness. You turned your headlights off and parked in front of your parents’ house. It was later than you’d expected, but the additional technical session and the meeting with Jona caused you to be one of the last ones out of the Gamper. 

With the cake and drinks you promised your mother to get in hand, you knocked on the door and waited. There was a lone light that filtered from the living room, which you found a bit odd, but tiredness won out, and you decided to pay it no mind. Maybe your parents were just relaxing on the couch. 

No one answered. 

Frowning, you placed the drinks on the porch step, and you balanced the cake on one hand as you opened the door with your key. 

You let yourself in, and the hallway was dark.

“Mamá? Papá? Where–”

The lights in the hallway and the kitchen flashed on in quick succession, nearly blinding you.

“Surprise!” The resonant cheer came, and the cake box jumped in your hand, nearly slipping. 

You found your mother’s face first, and you laughed, “Oh my god!” 

“Welcome home, my love!” Your mother embraced you, and you barely had enough time to angle the cake away and put the box of drinks down so she could do it properly. You leaned down, and she placed a kiss on your cheek, and then the other. 

“Hello, Mamá.” You muttered, closing your eyes, soaking in her presence and the peace that came with it. Oh, how you missed her. Another pair of arms wrapped around you; it was your father’s, and suddenly heat rose to your eyes at the warmth that seemed to blanket over you, both inside and out. 

“Let me grab that for you, my love.” Your father said, taking the cake box from your hand, but not before kissing your temple as a greeting. 

When you pulled away, you saw it wasn’t just your parents there. There were Eli, Alba, and Alexia, with little Nona in her arms. Nona’s white coat was a stark contrast to the dark shirt that Alexia wore. There was a tender smile on her lips, her eyes almost wistful as she caught your gaze. And could you really blame your heart if it ached beneath the weight of her gaze?

“Oh, sweetie, have you grown taller?” Eli asked as she stepped into you, hugging and kissing your cheeks like your mother did. 

“I’m not sure about that, Eli.” You giggled into her ear. “How are you?”

“Growing grey hair, love. You went away, and I had no one else to keep Alexia in line. Alba doesn’t help; in fact, she encourages her sister’s wiles, and Alexia does the same. Partners in crime, these two!” 

Alba’s laughter resonated in your ear when you hugged her next, and you chuckled at the exasperation in Eli’s voice. Alba retorted, “Má, how else could we keep you on your toes?” 

“I’d very much not want to be kept on my toes. Thank you very much.” 

“Eli, I’m sure Alexia couldn’t be that bad. She’s always been a good girl.” At that, you caught Alexia’s gaze with a smirk. Her eyes twinkled with recognition, probably remembering what the both of you got up to behind your parents’ backs. She shook her head slightly, mouthing, ‘You’re an asshole.’

You gave her another smirk before you added lightly, "Alba, on the other hand...”

You didn’t even finish the sentence before you got a well-deserved punch to the arm from Alba herself—a punch you knew would surely form a bruise. Cradling your sore arm, you yelped, looking at Alexia for help.

“Alba, please don’t injure our new goalkeeper. We need her.” Alexia said calmly, and you looked at Alba triumphantly. Alba opened her mouth to protest, it seemed, but Alexia cut her off. “There’s no need for that. I’ll just ask Jona to make her do some extra laps during warm-ups in our next training session.”

“Yeah, that’s right—hey!” Realising what she said, you scoffed while Alba threw her head back, laughing. Alexia’s lips were curled up in a satisfied smirk, looking much like someone who’d gotten the last word. 

“Ha! That’s what you get—” 

Eli cut Alba off. “That’s enough, you three. I swear, when you’re together, you act like you’re all still ten!” 

“It’s a bit endearing, though, isn’t it, Eli?” Your mother laughed, putting a placating hand on Eli’s shoulder. “But Eli is right. We should take this all to the dining table, no? The food is about to grow cold.”

[6]

In the two years you lived in the States, you spent most evenings alone, and the food you’d cooked from the recipes you took with you never tasted like home. It’d been so long, you nearly forgot how filling food should be—both in mind, body, and spirit. But now, in the presence of your family, with their love laid out in front of you—your mother’s arrós negre, Eli’s fricandó, and your father’s pan de payés—with their laughter and their warmth, you were finally filled again. 

You ate mostly in silence, soaking in the scene and the ruckus with a smile, and the detail of that one empty chair wasn’t lost to you either. The reminder drew your attention to Alexia. She’d tied her hair in a low ponytail and left two locks of her hair to frame either side of her face, which made her look all the more beautiful. In this light, Alexia’s image seemed to split in such a way that you could almost feel a presence in that empty seat beside her, looking on at this scene as you were.

Grief gripped at your heart, but love was quick to soothe the pain with its gentle caress. 

The minutes flew by, and many times you caught Alexia sneaking peeks at her phone, sometimes even texting while she wore a tender expression. If anyone saw it, no one called her out for it—well, maybe except for Eli, who, upon spotting her daughter on her phone, gave her a reprimanding smack against her arm, followed by a hissed scolding. Alexia looked so much like a child just then, with her wide eyes, that you nearly spat out your drink. She caught you staring, and she squinted her eyes. To that, you blinked innocently at her, curling your lips slightly to let her know you saw the whole thing. 

“So, are you in a relationship, dear?” Eli’s unexpected question made the water go into the wrong hole, and you spluttered. Alba patted your back while Alexia eyed you with concern and curiosity. Eli asked, “Are you okay, love?”

You gave her a thumbs up.

“Alright. Where was I? Right. Being in America for two years, surely you must’ve met someone.”

After composing yourself finally, you answered, “No, I’m not, Eli. I’d been so busy that I had no time for it, really.”

“What? A pretty girl like you all alone? I don’t quite believe that!” Eli exclaimed. “Come to think of it, I’ve never seen you with anyone.”

“Apart from that poor boy... What was his name?” Your father added. He snapped his fingers. “Ah! Guille! Nice boy, he was. Where is he now anyway?”

“We were never together, Papá.” For some reason, you felt the need to clarify that. “And he’s in London, finishing his PhD at York.” 

“Wow, that’s amazing. And I never knew you kept in touch.” Your mother’s brows shot up in surprise, and you thought you heard a hint of awe in her tone. Teasingly, she said, “Are you sure you’re not seeing him?”

You sighed internally, and you fought the urge to roll your eyes. You smiled and said, “Yeah, sometimes. I haven’t seen him in a while, though, but the last time we talked, he and his girlfriend were looking for a new apartment.” 

“Oh, he has a girlfriend, does he? That’s unfortunate.” 

“Not for me. I’m glad he’s happy.” You shrugged before you sipped your water.

“Are you waiting for someone, maybe?” Alba teased, wagging her brows.

You tensed, and you'd paused too long, it seemed, because Alba gasped. 

“Oh, she is! Who is it?” 

“Alba,” came Alexia's warning tone.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I’m just excited.” Then Alba sighed dreamily, “I just think it’s kind of romantic.

You could feel the weight of Alexia’s eyes on you, but you dared not look up. You kept eating.

No. It wasn’t romantic. 

It was painful.

[7]

After you helped clean up despite your mother’s insistence not to, and after an hour of sitting in the living room conversing, the exhaustion of the day finally caught up with you. You needed to be alone, so you took little Nona from your lap and into your arms and snuck out into the garden. The light that streamed out from the living room was adequate enough for you to spot your old swing. You went to it, and, after inspecting and deeming it fit to take your weight, you sat on it and began a gentle rhythm, running your hand over Nona’s head, who purred at the attention.

The sound of grass being disturbed pricked at your ears, and you knew it was Alexia even before she spoke.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

You turned your head to the side where Alexia’d rested her back against the tree trunk, half of her face bathed in the incandescent glow of the living room light. You hummed in answer.

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

“You’re on your swing.” Alexia spoke as if that fact held the answer to your question. “You used to come here and sulk.” 

You scoffed. “I didn’t sulk.”

“You did. You’re doing it right now!” Alexia teased.

“Now I am because you’re bothering me!” 

“Fine, I’ll leave then.” 

You knew Alexia was joking, but when she made an exaggerated move to leave, you spoke softly, “No, stay. Please.” 

Alexia froze, and after a moment, she leaned back on the tree again. 

“I’m sorry about Alba if she did cross a line.”

“She didn’t; don’t worry. Thank you, though.”

“Are you sure? You seemed uncomfortable.”

“I was uncomfortable because I happen to not like talking about my love life.” You said, a bit defensively. “Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable too if I started grilling you about who you’re with right now?” 

Alexia remained silent. You huffed, “Exactly.”

A silence settled in the air. 

You gripped the rope of the swing, and the texture felt off. You inspected it; the rope was new.

“Yeah, uh, I had them replaced.” Alexia admitted, and when you faced her, she was rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “I kind of broke it when I was here last.” 

Another pause. “I hope you don’t mind. Sometimes, I like to come here to think. Plus, I get to visit your parents and Nona, so, yeah.” 

“No, of course I don’t mind. This is your home as much as it is mine. We’re family.”

Alexia opened her mouth while a hurt look flashed behind her eyes. She seemed to change her mind because she closed her mouth and bit her lip before she eventually said in a hoarse voice, “Yeah, of course.” 

Alexia was standing right there, but you’d never felt farther from her than now. There was a rift between you, but it was only you who could see it—you could feel it widening and deepening. Maybe Alexia could feel it, too, but you were sure it wasn’t like the way you did. 

It didn’t cut her the way it wounded you. 

Nona meowed softly in your lap as she stood, nosing at your chin and dragging her head on your jaw. You cooed as you scooped her up, pressing a kiss into the warmth of her fur, and you giggled when she licked your cheek and began purring. Alexia kneeled in front of you, running a finger under Nona’s chin, who purred even louder from the added attention. 

“She really missed you, you know.” Alexia whispered, and as she did, she gazed up at you. The warm light made her eyes shine and her cheeks glow with an earnestness that you longed to caress, that invited you to trace the outline of her brow and to feel the soft skin just beneath her eye. 

She was so beautiful. 

She’d always been.

You could never tell her that, and it hurt.

“I missed her, too.” You breathed softly, “So much.”

And still looking into her eyes, you murmured even softer, “You have no idea.” 

#ap11 #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso x reader #my writing #a/n: i had half a mind to split this into two chapters but it wouldnt flow as well so im just gonna give it to yall as is #this took forever to write im really sorry #apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes ill work on em later #hope youre all doing well and thank you for reading <3

[sampilled]

I think the reason I hate the “dean raised Sam” idea in fandom is because that is just fundamentally not how I view their relationship and ALSO because of how one sided it makes it

Like you know who looks out for dean? Sam. You know who cares whether dean is being safe or throwing himself head first into danger? Sam. You know who worries about dean’s cholesterol and whether he eats his vegetables? SAM

And if you think this is a new development then you just don’t understand teenaged sam like I do. Sam ‘I will burn this whole building to the ground just to make a point’ Winchester. Sam ‘I hate my dad’ Winchester. Sam ‘No sir there are more important things’ Winchester.

Sam was the type of kid to make a whole PowerPoint about the dangers of smoking if he ever saw dean even look at one!!!

And who does dean go to when he has a crisis? Sam!!! That’s literally the main premise of the show. Dean goes to sam when john abandons him

Whose name does dean yell out when he’s trapped in hell in the season 3 finale? Sam’s!!!

Sam is his safe space. The number one person he can trust. The person who always tries to get him to open up about his feelings (even if he’s not the *most* equipped to handle those conversations. He always tries)

I just hate when people try to make it seem like Sam is a burden to dean or just an accessory to dean’s trauma cus at the end of the day that codependency goes *both* ways

#apologies for any spelling mistakes. typing on my phone hurts my eyes so I don’t spell check <3 #sam winchester #I see it as more of a ‘it’s us against the world’ vibe #than a Fiona Gallagher single mom who works two jobs vibe

[siphoklansan]

In the meantime, have my sister as a TWST wonderland character!

design notes ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡

IRL, my sister and I look pretty alike! But I guess it depends on each person. Some people think we don’t look alike at all while others think we look like twins :O! Our height doesn’t really differ either. I tried to incorporate some of Sippy’s qualities (physical appearance vibes) but my sister and I have completely different aesthetics qwq

Piggybacking from the first point, my sister is a coquette girl. She literally looks like a pinterest girl- like Sabrina Carpenter vibes. If I were to describe her properly, I’d say she’s Princess Aurora but as a brunette!

My sister, we’ll call her Allim, has really long eyelashes (especially the bottom ones like gah dayum) so I made sure to add that in the piece!

She really likes pink and ruffles, so I added those as well! I want her to look pretty and cute without leaning towards Epel’s look, so I made her look kind of like a business woman…coquette style.

Fun fact: her ear rings is what she wears daily irl! It’s a gift from her friend💖

others ˚₊·—̳͟͞͞♡

You guys might notice the Savannaclw Armband. And if you’re wondering, yes, she’s sorted into Savannaclaw!

She’s not in the TWST fandom, but I let her read an analysis of each dorm-sorting-requirements and let her choose which one she’d be most fitting in. I guess it would be Pomefiore because istfg her face card never declines but chile anyways-

Imagine how surprised I was when she said, “I think I’ll be in Savannaclaw☺️” and I’m like WHAT-

Cuz imagine a coquette girl in a place like SAVANNACLAW NJDHDSUHFSUBVOSII THE THOUGHT OF IT IS SO FUNNY TO ME😭 Just a brunette Aurora walking in with bulky beastmen running laps around the dorm n shit. But I do believe that she fits that dorm. Just…not aesthetically💀 She was in the R.O.T.C once so I think she’d do pretty well knowing the dorm.

I initially wanted to draw her with the dorm uniform but BY GOD IT IS NOT COQUETTE GIRL FRIENDLY. I’ll draw that one day once I figured out the design </3

She’s really good at cooking and has a main business; she sells cookies! Her slogan is “Cookie 20 Brownie 25” in Thai. That’s why she says it in the second panel of this post! Her cookies sell out within 3 days at MAX. She has an online shop in shoppee but only sells within the country at the moment :,))

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst oc #twst yuu #☂︎︎siphok-museum☂︎︎ #idk what to say #leona kingscholar #jack howl #ruggie bucchi #twst grim #i didn’t check for typos (as usual) so if there are any spelling mistakes i apologize #woop woop

[toreii]

Grim: “Lady Meleanor? Who is that?”

Sebek: “Don’t you know who Lady Meleanor is? She’s the young master’s…ack!”

Sebek: “……Lady Meleanor is the princess of Briar Country.”

Lilia: “The kid’s right.”

Lilia: “She is the only daughter of our current Queen Maleficia, our master, and the lord of ‘Wild Rose Castle’.”

Silver: “‘Wild Rose Castle’? Is the royal castle in the Dragon capital not ‘Black Scale Castle’?”

Lilia: “Verdant Fields, a wetland that spreads south of Briar Country.”*

Lilia: “In the center of it, a fortress that glares at the unsuspecting coming from beyond the Coral Sea and the Wind-song Valley…”

Lilia: “That is ‘Wild Rose Castle’.”

Baul: “Lady Meleanor is also the cornerstone of this country’s defense, commanding our royal guard.”

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst spoilers #episode 7 #grim #twst grim #sebek zigvolt #twst sebek #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #baul zigvolt #twst baul #meleanor draconia #twst meleanor #translations not 100% accurate #fixed mama draconia’s name now that I know how it’s spelled #I was sort of close😆 #again apologies for any mistakes

[fghgfgf]

watcher update! watcher update!

a summary

apologized for the announcement, their delivery of it, their bad explanation and their framing of the price as being "something everybody can afford"

watcher is taking back their decision to move their entire platform to their streaming platform, instead content will be posted there a month early and ad free, after that the shows will be available on youtube for free as normal

all past episodes and series will remain on youtube

all current patreon members will receive a free subscription code to the platform

full refunds are available for people unhappy with the changes and for patreon members who already bought a subscription

watchers full explanation for making of the platform, quoting straight form the video:

"When we started Watcher in 2020 we wanted to create shows that we were proud of, that we had ownership over and that would provide you the caliber of content that we felt you deserved. However, we were finding it harder and harder to stay relevant to advertisers and the constantly changing YouTube landscape, we faced some incredibly challenging decisions, we didn't want to compromise our content to ensure they met advertising requirements and we definitely did not want to lay people off that have brought Watcher to life behind the scenes, and we didn't want to bring Watcher to a close, which would have happened if we stayed solely on YouTube. That's why we decided to launch the platform so that we as a company could continue, we could pay our staff fairly and not only continue to make great content for you but expand with new shows, new voices, all ad-free. And now with the addition of accessible options, this is a decision that we all believe is the best for Watcher."

please watch the video yourself if you have the time

#hopefully i didnt make any spelling mistakes #please correct me if i did #imo solid apology #good changes #wish they addressed their budgeting but whatever #watcher entertainment #watcher #shane madej #ryan bergara #steven lim #Youtube

[soothingmoonlight]

It never occurred to me before that Maglor might have inherited his singing voice from his grandmother. However, as I was re-reading parts of Morgoth's Ring today this description of Miriel immediately made me think of Maglor.

"Soft and sweet was her voice, and she sang as she worked, like rippling water, in music without words." -Morgoth's Ring, The Later Quenta Silmarillion (II), Of Finwe and Miriel

I can easily see Maglor having soft and sweet voice and enjoying singing while he is doing his daily chores. But I think the similarities between grandmother and grandson do not here. It's quite possible that Maglor's melancholic nature/temperament could be another family trait that he got from Miriel, especially considering how each of their stories end. Miriel, after being reembodied, never goes back to the Noldor and Maglor, after casting the Simaril into the Sea, never comes back among the people of the Elves.

"Then the fëa of Miriel was released and came before Manwë and receivd his blessing; and she went then to Lorien and re-entered her body, and awoke again, as one that cometh out of a deep sleep; and she arose and her body was refreshed. But after she had stood in the twilight of Lorien a long while in thought, remebering her former life, and all the tiding that she had learned, her heart was still sad and she had no desire to return to her own people." -Morgoth's Ring, The Later Quenta Silmarillion (II), Of Finwe and Miriel

"And it is told of Maglor that he could not endure the pain with which the Silmaril tormented him; and he cast it at last into the Sea and thereafter he wandered ever upon the shores, singing in pain and regret beside the waves. For Maglor was mighty among the singers of old, named only after Daeron of Doriath; but he came never back among the people of the elves." - The Silmarillion, Of The Voyage of Eärendil

#maglor #makalaure #kanafinwe #makalaure kanafinwe #miriel #miriel therinde #silmarillion #house of feanor #sons of feanor #i may elaborate on this another time when it is not 5 am and i am not sleepy as hell #apologies for any spelling/grammar mistakes my brain is barely functioning #my posts

[squib-2006]

I have an idea

An au where Kai never shows up to the chens noodle house meeting cuz he was mad at what Lloyd said and instead ends up going deeper into ninjagos crime scene.

* Kai gets pissed at Lloyd callling him selfish and ends up getting really drunk and misses the meeting with Lloyd jay and Cole

* On his way back he accidentally falls into one of the canals and almost drowns. He manages to get out but a passer by recognizes him and saw him fall in but didn’t see him come back up

* Kai gets back to where ever he’s staying and promptly passes out for like three days

* The person that saw him fall in calls the cops and they assume Kai drowned and begin searching for his body

* Lloyd and the others at this point are already at chen’s island.

* Nya gets a call from the police about Kai and she like them assumes he drowned.

* She begins looking for Lloyd and the others to tell them that Kai’s gone then gets wrapped up in all the Chen stuff

* Kai wakes up to find that he’s on the news for being dead

* He decides to take advantage of this and decides to just go by shogun now

* He also decides to “pretend” to be female cuz he’s to recognizable no ther reason totalyyyy (yes this is a transfem Kai au cuz I do what I want)

* Meanwhile with the ninja when they catch up with Nya they learn that Kai’s dead and are very upset about it

* Chen also fails in his plans because he doesn’t have all the elements and when he try’s to use the spell the staff explodes killing him & clouce

* Skylor is arrested and put into kryptarium for working with her dad (this is very important I promise)

* Lloyd feels really bad about Kai because the last time they spoke he said really mean stuff and he wonders if Kai fell in somehow related to that.

* Meanwhile Kai begins making connections in the crime sphere in ninjago. She wears a disguise (a mask, dress large jacket and other clothing to hide her identity) and grows a reputation for herself

* She eventually starts to notice how shitty life is for lower class citizens of ninjago city and how the criminals and the upper class take advantage of that.

* She starts helping these people (mainly orphans) and creates a safe haven for them where all of them can live safely under her protection.

* She amasses a following for the people she helped + some criminals who have kinda changed their ways and they become a pretty big gang in ninjago city (I don’t have a name for this yet)

* With the ninja morro happens but garmadon takes the place of Kai in it cuz he never got banished (just imagine morro got let out by clouse on accident cuz he still attempted to banish garm but failed) and everything is basically the same up until they confront ronin

* Back with Kai a few months before Lloyd gets possessed she ran into a girl on the street named Natalie. Natalie claims to be an orphan and Kai does what she normally does when she finds a poor starving orphan on the street, she scoops her up and brings her back to her shelter (I don’t have a name for this yet either)

* Turns out Natalie is actually ronins daughter. She used to live with her parents in Styx (ronin was still doing ronin stuff so he was constantly gone all the time and she mainly lived with her mom) until one day ronin refused to pay soul archer his debt and souls archer went after his family. Nat’s mom ends up sacrificing her self to protect nat and nat runs away after. She ends up in ninjago city all alone.

* Kai after learning this decides to go and have a chat with ronin (because no one hurts her kids the people under her protection) and she runs into the ninja + garm when she goes to confront ronin (it’s when the ninja try and steal the scroll much to garms dismay because he’s still trying to be good)

* She panics but is slightly relieved when non of the ninja recognizes her (definitely helps that she’s wearing a mask and feminine clothes) ronin does tho due to his connections and questions her on why she’s here

* She doesn’t speak and just attacks him (she’s too worried the ninja will recognize her voice and she thinks that they won’t agree with what she’s doing and will be mad at her)

* So chaos ensues and Kai ends up leaving once she realizes Lloyd’s been possessed by a ghost and decides to dip to not interfere with the ninja’s mission anymore

* The season goes on as planned but the ninja now know who “shogun” is thanks to ronin. Lloyds a bit suspicious because of Kai’s red shogun name but guesses that maybe she was inspired by Kai or it’s just a coincidence.

* When Kai gets back she learns that some of her group members got arrested while trying to stop a fight between two other groups and decides to brake them out of kryptarium

* Cue skylors entrance

* Skylor manages to try and escape in the chaos of Kai’s brake in and almost escapes but is cornered by some guards

* Kai who’s crawling through the vents to get out while her group members have already escaped stops when she sees skylor getting cornered. Cue the love at first sight thing and she decides to help Skylor escape cuz she’s so pretty

* Skylor accepts Kai’s help and they escape and Kai brings her to her shelter

* Skylor has had a lot of time to reflect on her self during her imprisonment and is now glad her dad died cuz she really hated being evil

* Kai and Skylor grow closer together as Skylor joins the group and eventually Kai confesses her true identity cuz she trusts Skylor

* Skylor is confused at first because the ninja put her in prison and evreything but is ok with it because of how different Kai is

* Skylor is transfem in this au too! She she helps Kai realize that she’s not pretending to be a girl and helps her except herself

* They eventually form a romantic bond and skylor takes up a new persona to work under (I don’t have a name for it yet) to match Kai’s shogun persona

That’s all I have for now but this was all rattling around in my brain and I had to write it down

Other important stuffs

* Kai’s more morally grey in this au

* She kinda becomes similar to Jason Todd in the way she acts with her shogun persona

* She basically unofficially adopts all the orphan kids she lets stay in her shelter they all call her big sis sho

* In her group she has her close lieutenants (all ocs that I’m still thinking about names for) including skylor as her right hand woman

* She is a wanted criminal because she has broken some laws

* She doesn’t really use her powers or spinjitzu unless it’s really dire circumstances cuz it could be trailed back to her life as a ninja

* She’s kinda scared of seeing her the ninja again because she feels like she’s betrayed everything they stand for by being morally grey and doing borderline bad things

Feel free to ask me questions about this au (might help me come up with more ideas for it)

#ninjago #lego ninjago #kai ninjago #ninjago kai #ninjago au #kai jiang #kai smith #skylor chen #skylor ninjago #transfem Kai #crime lord Kai au #kai <3 #I apologize for any spelling mistakes I suck at spelling crap dispite English being my first language #Kai gets to be morally grey as a treat #I’m gunna be working on my ocs for this tho #I have never been more attracted to an au idea besides this one #most of my au’s rot in my brain or my notes app but this one was too good not to yap about

[nyoomfruits]

LANDOSCAR 45 THE KISS THINGY

YAY THANKS BABE <3

45. kiss out of anger

“What the fuck,” Lando says, swinging the door to Oscar’s driver’s room open with a loud bang.

Oscar looks up from where he's sprawled on the couch, reading a book. “Uh,” he says, looking mostly very confused. He’s in those stupid shorts he always wears even if it's freezing outside, and they’ve ridden up to reveal his stupid thighs. Lando glares at them.

“I thought we were friends?” He asks moslty Oscar's thighs, and hates how his voice breaks on the words.

“We are?” Oscar asks, a little alarmed, getting up off the couch. It breaks Lando's gaze away from his thighs, which is both bad and good, and means he has to look into Oscar's deep brown eyes instead, which is also both bad and good. “Lando, what happened?”

“What ha-“ Lando cuts himself off, shakes his head. “This fucking happened, you asshole.” He holds up his phone, lets Oscar read the article he’s pulled up.

“Oh,” Oscar says, face scrunching up in a frown. “Lando, I swear I didn’t know-"

“Know what, Oscar? That you were moving to Red Bull next year? Because I highly fucking doubt that,” Lando spits, finding some of his anger back. It helps that Oscar refuses to look at him, so he no longer has to look into his eyes.

Oscar shakes his head, looking a little panicked, apologetic. “I didn’t know they were announcing it today. They told me they wouldn’t for like another few weeks, it must’ve leaked, I’m sorry, Lando.” And then, quietly. “I was going to tell you.”

“So it’s true,” Lando says, carefully keeping his voice flat.

Everyone leaves, everyone leaves, everyone always leaves.

Oscar pulls a face, rubs at his neck. “Signed the contract last week,” he says, almost a little sheepishly.

“Right,” Lando says, voice thight. “Of course.”

Oscar frowns at him. “You’re mad at me,” he says, becaus he’s always been stupid good at reading Lando’s emotions. It's... annoying, mostly. “Why?”

“Why? Why?” Lando asks, windmilling his arms around a little hopelessly. “Because I. Because you. Because-“ He lets out a frustrated noise and the surges forward, pulling Oscar in by the stupid collar of his stupid orange Mclaren polo and kissing him full on his stupid mouth.

The angle is off, and their teeth clack together uncomfortably, and Lando accidentally steps on Oscar’s toe, making him wince, and Lando’s about to pull away, declare it a mistake and hide in the nearest closet for the rest of eternity, when-

Oscar breathes out, his shoulder slacken, and his hands find his way to Lando’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer. He changes the angle of their mouths, runs his tongue over Lando’s bottom lip and oh.

Oh.

Oscar kisses like he drives, calm, cool, collected, yet aggressive, abusing every single one of Lando’s weaknesses in the best way possible.

Lando never wants to stop kissing him.

But they have to, eventually, and Oscar is the first to pull away, pressing his forehead against Lando’s instead. “You could’ve just told me, you know. Instead of waiting until I was about to leave.”

Lando snorts, and he feels his anger has mostly dissipitated. “You could’ve told me, too.”

“Hm, touché,” Oscar says, and he’s smiling, and his cheeks are tinted pink, and his eyes are warm and crinkly at the edges, and Lando is so, so, so incredibly in love with him.

“Do you reckon you could sneak me into the Red Bull garage, next year?” He asks, traching the outline of the Mclaren logo on Oscar’s chest.

“As long as you promise not to steal any of our secrets,” Oscar says, and then promptly kisses him again.

#this was mostly written on my phone on the airplane so i apologize for any spelling mistakes lmao #landoscar #mctwinks #twinklaren #my personal red bull!oscar agenda #drabble

[cherry-blossom-qf]

BEHOLD!! THE AU I'VE BEEN COOKING UP FOR MONTHS!!

DIGIMOM CODENAME: DREAMLAND!

Basic Story Info: Susie is the daughter of Max Haltmann, the CEO and founder of his own computer company. (kinda like the original Susie lol)

But on her 18th birthday, a bunch of Digimon came through a portal and kidnapped her father and half the employees of the company. And it's up to Susie to save her father from whatever evil Digimon is behind all of this.

Accompanying her as her digital partners are the first two friendly Digimon she met in the Digital World. Marxamon and Magomon. Two sneaky little scam artists that Susie saved from an angry mob.

Once they heard her story, they both (eventually) agreed to help Susie find her father and protect her from the dangers of the Digital World, with Susie mysteriously gaining a Digivice in the form of a wrist watch as a symbol of their friendship.

Together, the three of them traveled all across the Digital World, fighting battles, solving mysteries, exploring new areas, you get the idea.

-------

Info on Susie: A young girl from the city of [insert place in Japan that isn't effing Tokyo]. She's a headstrong go-getter and intelligent gal, who's a major tech wizard, finding comfort in machinery and modeling. She has a weakness to cute fluffy things and sweet treats. She's a huge "papa's girl", as her loving father is the best dad (and only parent) a girl could ask for. Which makes finding him even more important to her.

-------

Info on Marxamon: A silly little jester bat digimon that shares DNA with the Demon Lord of Gluttony, Beelzemon, and a childhood friend of Magomon. With a "gives no shits" attitude and a craving for mischief, Marxamon is always up for a good prank or two. His special move "Spiraling Scream" has been known to leave even the strongest of champions feeling dizzy and temporarily deaf.

His Champion evolution, Jecksmon, is no different. Growing bigger wings, longer legs, and an even bigger taste for mischief than before! Having the ability to create mirrored copies of himself with his special move "Mirror Dance", and shoots blasts of chaotic energy from his mouth with his other move "Soul Cannon", he truly becomes chaos reincarnated!

-------

Info on Magomon: A little bell-shape feline magician that shares DNA with the Demon Lord of Greed, Barbamon, and a childhood friend of Marxamon. Although somewhat timid, his cunning and clever nature shows no bounds, treating almost anything like a performance he must perfect. Shrouding his secrets in veils of lies that he swears to never unravel, as it might bring unwanted attention, (aka: this bitch's got MEGA TRAUMA and is keeping it all a secret). His special move "Gemtastic Bombs" has him throwing multiple bombs made of different types of gems, usually Sapphire, Ruby, and Emerald.

His Champion evolution, Galormon, gives him a huge confidence boost and some card tricks up his (metaphorical) sleeves! With the ability to spin around, creating a tornado of cards and fire with his special move "All-In-Spin" and sucking in enemies into his hat with his other special move "Hatter Hole", his performance on the battlefield makes this fancy Digimon a sight to behold!

----

The other evolutions are gonna be left a mystery for now, cuz I haven't drawn them yet, lol.

So yeah, I hope you like this new AU!! I worked my ass off to figure this stuff out, and I hope it was worth the wait!!! ^w^

#my art #APOLOGIES FOR ANY SPELLING AND GRAMMAR MISTAKES IN THIS POST #Digimon Codename: DREAMLAND #'where tf is kirby in this kirby au?' I'LL GET TO IT EVENTUALLY!! JUST SIT TIGHT!! #digimon au #digimon digital monsters #kirby au #kirby susie #kirby marx #kirby magolor #kirby super star #kirby return to dreamland deluxe #kirby planet robobot

[synthshenanigans]

I'm curious as to peoples idea for what he'd do for the next power hour so

[These all being popular ideas or ppl he's mentioned]

This was all just a ploy to get you to read my info dump theory on the concept of a Chonny Jash Power Hour loser HAHAHA

Im joking tho. Not about my CJPH theory, that is very much real but I'm not forcing you to read it lol

However if you're curious, my inane rambles are further down :}

[Long Rant Post Below]

Okay so I'm gonna start with the basic idea I got it from; that being Nerd. Nerd already foreshadowed the THDPH & the WWPH [Even down to the last song for each of them] Not only that, but he references the stuff hes done in the past as well with a break/pause inbetween.

[This is what I mean]

The first three being all stuff he already did. BDG with Pocket, Tally Hall with Vol.1 & then Cage by Tim Minchin being the start the power hours.

The next two being the power hours he would do after this song [Memento Mori & Charlie's Inferno-Will Wood & That Handsome Devil]. But those are the only songs he would reference in Nerd, leaving no more clues as to what the last one would be. The only thing left in it is the video game references & Stairway to Heaven in the ending. [Which oddly enough also fit the pattern in a way. StH being about dying and the afterlife like Memento Mori & Chonny's Inferno and the video game references being all covers he made on his old channel]

While the VG refs could be a hint at a Videogame or Toby Fox Power Hour, I think at most, if its a clue at all, hinting at the next thing he does is recovering old songs.

----

Next, a couple of his songs reference his past stuff. Fine, I'm Fine has a good amount of lines that vaguely refer back to songs from the before [heres a post that goes more into it that's pretty cool!!]. And more importantly Dear Machine references Pocket, Dream (Outro from Calamity) & wings of wax. Pocket being later used in Nerd & the mention of Icarus coming back in Art. Not only that, but the voice in the very end Thermodynamic Lawyer is the exact same [if not very close to] voice filter/effect he uses in Dear Machine. Even down to the British accent he does in it. [Tho it is fairly normal for a music artist to reference their older songs in their music so it could be nothing]

Speaking of Dear Machine tho, quick thing to add about it is that it shows he not against covering his own songs. While yea technically its just a different version of Ode of the Cog, DM,HtC in a way counts as a cover of OotC. Same goes for bargaining/compromise & The Ballad of Dr. Jekyll.

----

Another idea with a CJPH is that in the CJFS discord theres a "Question of the Day" Channel. Where, as the name says, a Mod or Helper will ask a CJ related question & everyone can give their idea/imput on it. For Day 100, as a special fun lil thing, they asked Chonny if he wanted to give a question for that day. His question being:

And yes he does say that he doesnt plan on doing anything like that in future [if he even were to do it]. I fully believe he wasn't lying there & honestly I never saw him redoing any song ever until I had the idea of a CJPH [aside from stuff like Spring and a Storm & Storm and a Spring obviously]. But this is the best idea I could ever see him doing that. Also that question was from early August so a fair amount of time has passed. Whether thats enough time to equal "at least in the near future at all" I have no clue, but it is a thought.

----

One of my last points [that I remember atm lol] is on how he would end the power hours. Cos like, while yea he does whatever he wants & doesn't rlly follow what anyone says or asks [which I 100% agree with & is completely valid btw], I'd imagine he'd still want to end the PHs with a bang. Which is why I originally didnt think the recent one would be Will Wood.

He's stated a couple of time that hes one of his favorite artist & he definitely knows that a huge chunk of his fan base listen to WW as well. So why not end with that? Why not end with one of the most requested artist people wanted him to cover? Why wouldn't he end with a power hour of the artist that was his #1 on his Spotify Wrapped? What else could he do after that? Well maybe he'd go with his #2 artist? WHICH IS JUST HIMSELF BBYYYY

Plus, the name Power Hour already comes from this:

So it's very likely he's had himself play multiple times in a row & had a "Chonny Jash Power Hour".

Of course theories are just theories so there's always the chance I'm wrong & just insane. And again he does whatever he wants whenever he wants so who knows what it'll be. I just think id be an interesting idea for him to do.

As for how a Chonny Jash Power Hour would look? Maybe each song being a cover of a song from a past album or single? I'd imagine one from the before. & Covered in Discontent [maybe Gothic Whore?]. Like remake Pocket since its been referenced so much, tho that's still just a BDG cover so who knows. the before. would be interesting just to see how his perspective has changed since he originally wrote those songs. Gothic Whore he already has 2 songs that have a story version & a him version so I can see him doing another.

I HIGHLY doubt he'd do anything related to Vol.1 as its his completely separate thing & he doesn't rlly wanna touch any song that's TH/HMS related until whenever he feels like starting Vol.2 [which is valid lol]. If anything I could maybe see like TWWAY, Special or maybe Greener? Or go a different route with the og I'm Gonna Win or like a more outta the box one with like Just a Friend [only cos be did a 20 second "cover" of it in Mucka Blucka]. Again, I do not see him touching anything Vol.1 related but still something to entertain ig? [4th TME cover; The Chonny Electric when/j]

Tho maybe he'd just remake songs that he he fully made [like the before. or Gothic Whore], since those are more of actual Chonny Jash songs rather than the others just being covers. Would be very cool to maybe see a remake of some of his Majora's Mask song tho [no this isn't me coping over HEAL not being on spotify shush]. Or maybe he'd do songs from his old stuff like Don't Take it Personally? [also not me coping over wanting that song on Spotify too]

Idk these are just my thoughts on the idea of a CJPH [or even a Can of Soup Power Hour/j]. Either way I am gonna say idc what he'd do, BDG or Streetlight Manifesto are my other guesses, but anything he makes is always rll good & fun so I'll be interested to see whatever it is.

But ya know considering I typed all this out in the span of an hour & a half I kinda hope im not wrong PFFT

#apologies if there's any grammar or spelling mistakes lol #i just typed a lotta insane ramblings so im bound to mess up somewhere. also i am dyslexic #if you actually managed to read all that. Congrats & thank you :D! Also why tho! you're insane for listening to me being insane/j #I hope I made sense at least #And if you spent any time even glancing at my text thank you a lot but I hope you aren't bored lol #also its still gonna be a bit since he does a power hour but still curious as to ppls ideas of it #at least it BETTER be awhile. bro better take that damn br8k #chonny jash #moss post #KJ is going insane again

[thesunisatangerine]

against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part one

alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader

status: completed

(a/n in the tags) [parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve]

word count: 1.1k

The thing was, you didn’t plan on getting laid tonight. 

After a couple of days trying to settle in at Barcelona and looking for your lost luggage, all you wanted to do was to finally start your vacation. You just wanted to relax and experiencing the night life in Barcelona was definitely a good way to officially kick it off. 

So there you were at the bar of an (apparently) exclusive night club in the city–the location was emailed to you by Derek with a VIP pass and a note that said, ‘have fun ;)’–nursing your second, half-empty glass of mojito, the speakers blasting rhythmic reggaeton music, when a woman slid into the space next to you, cool and confident with the way she leaned on her elbows against the counter as she gave the bartender her order in smooth spanish, “A gin rickey, please.”

The woman looked to be several years older than you–and taller, too, even with your heels on–and maybe it was the alcohol or the proximity but there was no stopping yourself from openly admiring her. Her black, cropped top and her tight, high-rise pants revealed perfectly broad shoulders and toned arms, as well as the taught lines of her stomach. When your eyes travelled back to her face, you found her looking at you with a raised brow and immediately, your cheeks warmed. The fact that you were gawking shamelessly and got caught doing so… just wow.

Words of apology were already on your tongue but the curves of her lips were mesmerising, the elegant slope of her brows distracting, and those eyes… the depth in them threatened to drown you that all coherent thought deserted you. 

“Wow,” you breathed out.

“Excuse me?” Came the bemused question, an instant slap to the face that sobered you up immediately. 

“I’m so–I’m sorry, that’s what I meant to say. I’m–” You palmed a hand over your face as you began but a small chuckle stopped you halfway. You risked a peek through your fingers and saw the woman with her lips to the glass, something akin to a teasing smirk on her face while she remained leaning on the counter by her hip. 

“You’re not from around here, are you?” The woman asked as she took a sip from her drink.

Not really the question you were expecting but you’d rather take a reprieve over a disaster. And at that, you smiled sheepishly at her. “Is it that obvious?”

“Hmm, no, not really. Your slight accent gave you away but your Spanish is impressive.”

“I’m still working on losing it but I’ll take that as a win. I’m assuming you’re from around here?”

“My home town is about an hour away outside of the city but I stay here most of the time for work.”

“That must be nice, being close to home.” Feeling more at ease now, you sipped at your drink. The woman did the same. Then you continued. “So, what do you do?”

For a moment there was nothing but music and chatter as the woman regarded you with an unreadable expression. Her eyes glinted–with what exactly? curiosity?–her head cocked slightly to the side. Then she sipped at her drink again. Did you say something offensive? you wondered.

“I work between the sport stadiums. And you? Where is home and what brings you to Barcelona?” 

It was clear from the vagueness of her answer that the stranger didn’t want to talk about her job and it didn’t help your growing interest for her. You wanted to ask her about further details but the dismissive tone with which she answered made you hold your tongue and her question, anyway, made you pause as you pondered to answer.

As an orphan who lived a few years in the system, the subject of where home was had always been a sore spot for you even if the stranger didn’t mean anything deeper by it. In some sense, your adoptive mom was home but there was always a part of you that longed for… something.  But, of course, you couldn’t bring that up right now especially to someone you just met. So you just told her where you were from, that you were on vacation, and that you work as a photojournalist for a press agency you helped establish. Something in your answer must had piqued the woman’s interest because her brows shot up.

“Which branch do you work in?”

“Spot news. But I’ve been meaning to expand my portfolio and get into another branch. Maybe try sports or portrait?”

The woman hummed in appreciation. “Any sports in particular? Wait, do you even like sports?”

“I honestly know close to nothing so I haven’t made a decision yet, but it will definitely be women’s sports,” you replied. She nodded and sipped at her drink again, never breaking her gaze from yours and you felt your cheeks warm again. Those eyes… they were dangerous; they lit up every nerve in your body and it felt good. You continued. “What about you? Are you much of a sports person?”

And to your total bafflement, the woman beamed at you, radiant and glowing, dimples in her cheeks as mirth shone in her eyes.

“What?” you asked, a bit nervous and at somewhat of a loss. 

The stranger let out a small chuckle, shook her head slightly as she rubbed the bridge of her nose, an attempt to hide her smile. “Nothing, nothing. And yeah, I’m a big sports fan. Then a beat passed before she continued, “you ever thought of covering women’s football? There are plenty of matches happening in the domestic leagues right now.”

“Maybe I will,” you hummed, mulling it over. It sounded good actually. And then you asked, “what else do you suggest for someone to do in Barcelona?”

The woman downed her remaining drink and placed the empty glass on the counter. Before you knew it, you could feel the warmth of her breath against your ear and you shivered when she purred. “Dance, of course.”And then she was holding your hand, pulling you off of the stool you were on, and began dragging you to the direction of the dance floor. 

All at once, warmth encompassed you: the crowd immediately swallowed you both, bodies pressed on you but the heat that emanated from the woman before you was the sole beacon for your attention. She had a loose arm around your waist and as the both of you danced to the music, you took that opportunity to wrap your arms around her neck and pulled her closer. She slowed down and she still had enough height on you that she had to lower her head.

“I never caught your name,” you spoke into her ear. 

“I’m Ale,” she replied. She pulled back to smile down at you. And then, she kissed you. 

#ap11 #not proofread #mine #my writing #a/n: meant to be a oneshot but im posting it as parts now 🥲 ill combine everything once i finish and post it on ao3 #meanwhile will reblog this to post future parts thats why the drop down is there ahahah #apologies for any grammar and spelling mistakes ill work on em later #woso x reader #alexia putellas x reader

[mulling-over-milgram]

DEPICTIONS OF ES (and other prisoners) IN MV’s

Revisiting the topic of this post now with a better understanding of the characters and Deep Cover :)

Returning to Tear Drop there’s something I want to talk about that I didn’t cover the first time which is where exactly Es is placed in the scene.

We see from the opening scene there is a table and since both Yuno and the Client are sitting at it we can tell there are atleast two chairs. We can’t see anymore chairs the many time this table reappears in the MV so we can conclude that there are only two chairs at the table.

We see the plushie that represents Es , Milgram prison and the audience seated in a chair. It must be sitting in one of said two chairs since we can tell from the Yuno’s shots in the first scene that the chair we see the plushie in is the same as the two at the table

And because we know it’s placed on one of two chairs we should now be able to narrow down which one. Based on these shots the plushie seems to be placed in the chair of the client. To steal a term from 74n5n school girl Yuno is sitting in her chair like in the first scene then cat girl Yuno stands next to her and points. Since school girl Yuno is in the same place that means that the plushie must be in the clients chair. (Quick side note I released while writing this part that if the plushie is in the clients chair that the client must of left but school girl yuno is still sitting in the chair even though he isn’t there any more…even though he has left her at this point)

She mentality has placed the plushie , placed Es in the chair (in the role?) of her client. I believe this is because she see’s Es and by extension the audience as viewing her for only the mask she puts on and only what they want to see like she mentions , projecting their ideas onto her.

Returning to a point I made the last time. Yuno has the power in this scene. Es is represented as but a plushie and such they can not talk. The plushie shares a resemblance to the plushie from the first scene.

Though I’m still not quite sure what to make of this? The plushie in this scene is given to Yuno by the client symbol perhaps of his feelings? The lyrics of “the wanted(yuno) wanting the wanter(client)” so if the plushie represents how Yuno perceives the clients surface level feelings for his desired version of her then that could explain why the Es plushie resembles it? Since Yuno views their views on her as similar? Uhh idk…If there are an Yuno scholars in the audience feel free to correct me ^^;

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Now Backdraft time! >:]

Fuuta and Es clearly seem to mirror each other here. This is clearly meant as a visual representation how similar their actions are. Unlike Yuno who purely portrays Es as less powerful. I feel Fuuta more portrays Es as taking his role. Yuno portrays Es as taking on the role of her client and fuuta portrays Es as taking on his role. His role as the judge and as someone who holds wrong doers responsible for their actions.

Notably Es aside from not being graffiti is portrayed the same as the prisoners. Being full blacked out aside from their clothes.

Speaking of other prisoners! Let’s talk about them the prisoners(and Es) are somewhere between Fuuta , his victim and the rest of the online group and the people who were channeled. They aren’t out right twisted into monsters but they are dehumanised in a sense since they don’t have faces and are graffiti. I find it interesting that the graffiti is graffitied with red. Of course this is the colour of the guilty verdict but also Fuuta’s spray paint and the black paint that is used to hide their identifiable features outside of clothing is the colour of es’s spray paint at the end of the MV.

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okay so time for a MV I didn’t cover last time because that post was purely focused on Es and because it’s something I’ve only noticed recently ^^;

we see in Cat the numbers 02/03/04 appear when Kazui’s glass is knocked over. Now I’m not entirely convinced myself these are supposed to correspond to prisoners but I thought I’ve cover it just in case.

Yuno and Fuuta both have connections to kazui. Yuno and kazui are prominent character parallels. Muu is a bit strange though…and the song completely skips over one.

as for the lyrics displayed on screen they generally make sense for the prisoners associated with the numbers

Like yuno’s number has cat for obvious reasons.

Smashing and shattering seems pretty in line with Fuuta and same with bye bye. It also is kinda similar to bang ba bang?

Muu doesn’t so much lie as take on the role of the victim. She isn’t lying about the events just manipulating them but for kazui lying and acting a role are sort of conflated so the lying could be seen as ‘put on a role till it gets better’ ??? As for the rest , Muu is heavily associated with followers (the other bully girls/haruka) and with royalty so it fits.

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Next The Purge March

The first thing I want to make note of is that the Amane on the ground here is in a very similar position to Fuuta at the end of Back Draft and the other Amane who’s shadow becomes Es is in a similar position to Es at the end of Back Draft.

other then that theres the continued theme of Es taking on a role in the prisoners mind. This time of amane’s mother/cult/the person who delivers punishment. ————————————————————————————————

Continuing to Deep Cover

Now I personally believe that the scale chess piece represents multiple things. I think you could equally argue for the scale chess piece being Es or Kotoko but for the sake of the post we will continuing under that interpretation this chess piece represents Es. Assuming this is the case this would be first time “Es” has appeared visually in multiple scenes.

the way the prisoners are portrayed is really similar to how both Fuuta‘s and Amane’s Mv’s portrayed them as shadows with out distinguishable features and funnily enough flat and two dimensional (aside from Es at the end of Back Draft of course)

And while we are making comparisons Deep Cover also is similar to Tear Drop in its use if chairs and a table.

but something fairly unique to Kotoko is how she portrays the prisoners pieces as broken. An argument could be made that Fuuta’s portrayal of the other guilty prisoners and himself as vandalised is similar but it feels different. Even Yuno who destroys the room by the end it doesn’t seem there is any evidence of her ripping up plushie Es.

then there is how Kotoko portrays the prisoners as chess pieces. I’m no chess expert but I strongly associate it with scarfing in the name of winning the game and I feel that lines up with Kotoko’s mindset towards the other prisoners and other “evils” of the world. That they should be hurt and stoped and scarified for the greater good but the chess metaphor also could be how she views herself as on the opposing side to the prisoners. You try to kill? Capture? Take out? (I’ve never been clear on exactly what happens to the pieces in chess) the opponents pieces so you my reach the king (the root or source one might say) and get rid of him. Again lines up pretty well with how Kotoko’s views the word , take out the “evil” before it can hurt the weak (her side?). Chess is such loaded symbolism that I can’t dig into every possible connotation or meaning here so I’ll leave it at this for now. ————————————————————————————————

And to end off revisiting the comparison’s from the original post

-all the appearances still focus on judgment in some sense: Yuno judges Es for their judgment and as commentary on the voting system. / Fuuta is also being judged and is judging Es for their judgement. / Amane is being judged and punished and she to in the prior line is judging Es for their judgments / a big part of Deep Cover is Kotoko judging Es for their judgments and the song is almost entirely about judgment of herself , other prisoners and judgment of judgment.

-yuno’s and fuuta’s MVs have a prominent focus on eyes where as Deep Cover and Pruge March are the opposite with there being no eyes. Though Amane’s next line does reference eyes. “I disavow you, eyes corrupted must be crushed”

-Es still can’t and doesn’t speak in any of the forms where they are shown.

-Es is still always shown in the centre of the frame. Except for this shot in Deep Cover.

-there is still a focus on hands in all the shots expect for The Purge March and some shots in Deep Cover.

-The shots colours no longer mainly consist of the characters main colour and a gold esc colour and black. (Though this point was always a bit of a stretch)

-The character singing is not in frame / we see Es through the pov of the prisoner still carries over for the most part apart from again this Deep Cover shot.

-I noted the power dynamics partly earlier in the post. Of course the backdraft/tear drop/the purge march points remain the same as the original post. In Back Draft Es has the power. They are the judge they are the one channeling they are the one with the spray can and who is standing up but in tear drop , Yuno portrayed as with the power Es is portrayed as a powerless plushie who can’t talk or move. Yuno is very much judging Es then the other way round. She reimagined them as a stuffed toy something we generally view as childish. Purge march brings us back to Es having all the power. With them being the one who judges the others and in Deep Cover , Kotoko has all the power! She has not only taken the position of the judge like Yuno did but kotoko has taken on the role and appearance of a warden again is very much judging everyone.

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#Milgram #It is very late at night so apologies in advance for any spelling mistakes that were not caught on the proof read ^^;

[bra1nwashed]

"𝑨𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍, 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒂 𝑮𝒐𝒅"

𝑨 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏 𝑰 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑴𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑪𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒈𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒉𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒕𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒔.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐶𝑙𝑒𝑟𝑔𝑦 𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑒𝑙. 𝐸𝑥𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑒𝑙. 𝐼𝑡'𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑤ℎ𝑦, 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑆𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝐼𝑚𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑜𝑟, 𝑃𝑎𝑝𝑎 𝑁𝑖ℎ𝑖𝑙, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑖𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑦𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑚 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑟𝑢𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑦... 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑖𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑑.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑝𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝐻𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑠, 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒 𝑎 𝑐ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑐ℎ. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑. 𝐿𝑢𝑐𝑖𝑓𝑒𝑟 𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑠𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑟. 𝐼𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑐ℎ 𝑠𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑, 𝑤ℎ𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑏𝑒 𝑙𝑜𝑦𝑎𝑙?

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑐ℎ𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡, 𝑛𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑜𝑤 𝑤𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑆𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑆𝑖𝑛 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑐𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑙 𝑐𝑜𝑑𝑒𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑒, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑜𝑛𝑜𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒.

𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑡'𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠 𝑙𝑜𝑦𝑎𝑙. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑙𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑡𝑟𝑦, ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑟 𝑢𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑡𝑦. 𝐵𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝐷𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝐿𝑜𝑟𝑑. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑎𝑝𝑎'𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑒𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑦𝑎𝑙 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡.

𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑒𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒. 𝑊ℎ𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦? 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑦 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑙𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦'𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑛𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑛𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑙, 𝑎 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑒𝑡 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑢����𝑡𝑖𝑙 𝑖𝑡 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑙 𝑖𝑠 𝑢𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑥𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒, 𝑖𝑡 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑡.

𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑢𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠... 𝑆𝑜𝑑𝑜𝑚𝑖𝑧𝑒𝑟 𝐺ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙, 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑎𝑠 𝐷𝑒𝑤𝑑𝑟𝑜𝑝 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑔𝑜𝑜𝑑 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ. 𝑌𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑠 𝑜𝑓 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒'𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑔. 𝐴𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝐺ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑖𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒. 𝐻𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑔 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑘𝑖𝑐𝑘𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑏.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑦. 𝑆𝑤𝑖𝑠𝑠 𝐺ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙. 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑗𝑜𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑟 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑜'𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑠𝑎𝑦 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠? 𝐻𝑒'𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙, 𝑖𝑡'𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑢𝑡 𝑜𝑓𝑓 𝑎𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙.

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒'𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑛𝑒𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑜 𝑏𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑎𝑟 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑙𝑙. 𝑆𝑝𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑙 𝐺ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑'𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑒𝑥𝑎𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒, ℎ𝑎𝑑 ℎ𝑒 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ 𝑑𝑒𝑚𝑜𝑛. 𝐻𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑐ℎ 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑛'𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑢𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑠. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑘 𝑜𝑓 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑦𝑒.

𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝐺ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑤𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝐺ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙. 𝑆𝑢𝑛𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑑𝑛'𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑓𝑢𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑛 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑑. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐶𝑜𝑤𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑔𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑦, 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑐𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑙 𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑜𝑓 𝑎 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑛𝑜 𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡. 𝑆𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑎 ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑚𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠, ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑜 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑀𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑦. 𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑠 𝑒𝑖𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑑𝑜𝑚 𝑜𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑔𝑜, 𝐶𝑜𝑤𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑔𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑢𝑟𝑘𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝐴𝑏𝑏𝑒𝑦 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑎𝑙 𝑐𝑟𝑦𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑐 𝑜𝑟 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑠𝑡.

𝐴𝑛𝑦 𝑔ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑠, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑒. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑑𝑜, 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑦 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑠𝑘 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑤𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑜𝑓𝑓 𝑜𝑟 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡.

#the band ghost #nameless ghouls #nameless ghoulettes #ghost band #ghost bc #ghost #dewdrop ghoul #sodo ghoul #swiss ghoul #sunshine ghoulette #cowbell ghoul #special ghoul #phil ghoul #siblings of sin #sister imperator #papa nihil #i apologize for any spelling mistakes #nameless ghoul headcanons

[bippityboppityouch]

don't think about it - marauder's version

don't think about the marauders all throughout their hogwarts years looking forward to all growing old together

don't think about them as seventh years, now including lily in that group.

don't think about the five of them on the wedding day, all happy and celebrating

don't thinking about them all having fun with harry when he's just a baby, planning to continue their legacy through him

now don't imagine peter being there, at that house, for months, knowing what's about to happen to his best friends

don't imagine all five of them sitting on the floor a few months before halloween, joking and playing with harry while peter seems a little off

don't think about that halloween night, when they all know their lives will never be the same

don't imagine sirius and remus feeling the unbearable pain of knowing that two of their oldest and closest friends are gone forever, at the fault of one of their other mates

don't imagine peter knowing he's ruined everything the moment he finds out that voldemort was successful in killing james and lily

don't imagine sirius sitting in his cell in azkaban, four days after his group of best friends was torn apart, singing happy birthday to himself quietly

don't imagine remus, all alone again

don't imagine him having to deal with full moons by himself again

don't imagine the next thirteen years being agony for all three of them, peter guilty, sirius imprisoned, and remus alone

don't imagine sirius believing he deserved to be locked up in a depressing slab of rock, blaming himself

don't imagine the betrayal sirius felt when he saw peter as scabbers in that newspaper

don't imagine remus hearing about sirius escaping, and struggling with feelings of hatred and hope, still thinking that his absolute best friend and lover killed the other three

don't imagine sirius fighting to survive every day for months after he's escaped with likely barely any food and so little strength

don't imagine him crossing the country to where he will finally get revenge on the culprit for james and lily's deaths, fueled by anger alone

don't imagine him finding out that remus is back at hogwarts as a teacher and being so excited to see his old friend after so long

don't imagine them reuniting and working to capture peter, with a spitting image of young james standing right next to them

don't imagine them having to constantly remind themselves that this is not james, this is another person

don't imagine them replaying all the good moments with their friend, along with the painful memories of the fateful halloween night that stain their minds with incurable spots of betrayal and hurt every time they see him

don't imagine them taking upon themselves the responsibility to do every single thing in their power to protect this boy at all costs so that he doesn't meet the same fate as his parents

don't imagine them feeling overwhelmingly responsible every time he's hurt or in danger, even when they know they couldn't have done anything

don't imagine the two most restless souls you'll ever meet be forced to sit still as others do the dangerous work.

now don't you dare imagine remus watching sirius fall through the curtain, having to hold harry back so that both of them don't run screaming after sirius

don't imagine him having to go through knowing he won't be able to see his closest, most dependable friend who he's loved known for almost two decades for the second time

don't imagine him knowing that he won't be seeing sirius again

don't imagine it

#i wrote this in like five minutes so its crap but hey it's there #marauders #harry potter #hp #sirius black #remus lupin #would you look at that i made myself sad #my fingers are literally freezing so apologies for any spelling mistakes or anything #james potter #lily evans #lily evans potter #scabbers #peter pettigrew

[emily-mooon]

Imagine if Stacey and Neil actually met in high school except they didn’t go to the same school: they met through Kid Chameleon.

One night, Scott brings Stacey to one of their shows and it just so happens that Stephanie (or Steph) brought Neil with her.

Since they were both the youngest people there (Neil’s 17, Stacey’s 16 till December), they decided to talk to each other and they hit it off.

Stacey also develops a bit of a crush on Neil and would always ask Scott if Steph was going to bring her brother with her again, as she wanted to see him and didn’t know if there was another way.

Then one morning, she discovers that they take the same TTC bus and from then on they talk before and after school and become sorta friends. At this point, Neil also starts developing a crush on her.

Things stayed like that for about two months until Neil and his mom moved places (as I agree with the headcanon that the Nordegraf siblings have divorced parents) so they would no longer take the same bus in the morning or after school. They still have Kid Chameleon shows to meet up and talk at right? Ha ha wrong cause at New Years, the famous break up between Scott and Envy happens which in turn, also breaks up the band.

That whole break up was the nail in the coffin that strained Neil and Stacey’s kinda friendship. They didn’t have the others phone number cause they were both too shy to ask and also cause they both kept forgetting.

There also wasn’t a whole ton of opportunities to ask either of their siblings for their phone numbers so they just gave up and went on with their lives.

But then why didn’t they recognize the other in the like three times there were in the same room together? Easy answer: Stacey was distracted by everything around her to even notice Neil, who in turn, was slowly disappearing into the crowd and fully did by the time it was Lisa’s going away dinner.

So when they see each other again properly at the Chaos Theater, something clicks and they fall back into where they once were two years ago. To them it felt like a decade, but no it was just two years. They catch up on what they missed in the others lives on the walk home.

After that these dorks start dating cause the feelings were still there, just buried deep, left dormant, and forgotten. They came back but slightly different as people change.

#and that’s it! #this idea has been cooking for a little bit btw #i am an au fiend and this gets added to my long list #I have another idea where neil lives on the east coast with his mom but spent Christmas with his dad and Stephanie #he also says he’ll come visit Stacey during March break but since kid chameleon broke up after Scott and envy broke up #he didn’t get to (also cause he went on a trip with his mom instead) #the drama is there but I think I’m the only person who headcanons that Neil has family on the east coast sooooo #or hey how about he moves there with his mom since she wanted to be closer to her family #that’s another alternative #anyways try to pry this au headcanon from my cold dead hands #i love it sm #apologies if some things sound cliche deep down I’m a romantic at heart and I’m such a sucker for ppl meeting again after not seeing the #other for awhile #also sorry for any spelling mistakes it’s late at night and I should go to bed now so gn! #scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim comic #young neil #neil nordegraf #stacey pilgrim #nordegrim #emilys headcanons #emilys long list of aus #i guess this counts as canon divergent too #long post #cause it is kinda long ngl